#also the tags on it continue 2 deliver i do read them

[emberglowfox]

*logs into tumblr and my notifs are absolutely nuked* oh what the fuck *the shirt is getting notes again* oh okay lol real

[seiwas]

grow on me like a dog loved fondly: prologue | kamo choso

wc: 1.0k

summary: your regular to the flower shop is more than what he seems. 

contains: written with f!reader in mind but can be read as gn!, animal shelter employee choso x flower shop owner reader, implied that reader is shorter than choso, flowers, small talk.

a/n: the promised choso drabble! depending on how this is received, i intend for this to be the prologue to a longer choso fic i have in mind!

You have a regular on the weekends. 

Business in the flower shop tends to be slow during winter, with less occasions having the need for flowers and even less buds blooming during the season. 

But even with the expected decline in customers, Saturdays always guarantee one—

The bells attached to the store doors jingle, allowing in a gust of cool air that tickles your cheeks from where you’re crouched down. The peonies in your hands were delivered just yesterday, the ends of the stems needing a slight trim to keep them fresh for longer. 

You turn, standing up to face your visitor. A purple scarf is wrapped high around his neck, with white fleece running down the length of his arms—a sort of undershirt to the short-sleeved uniform worn atop it. The outfit is familiar enough, but what truly distinguishes him are the two spiky pigtails on the sides of his head. 

There are a few things you’ve managed to pick up from four-line exchanges with your regular (six if you’re lucky): 1) he works at the animal shelter a few streets away, 2) the flowers he buys are for the front desk, a weekly replacement he deems necessary to keep the place looking alive, and 3) who he is, his name—

—��Choso’, if the tag on his uniform says anything. 

The tag that is now, also, just a hand’s reach away from you. 

You look up, pocketing your plant nippers. The peonies dangle between your fingers. 

“W-welcome!” you stutter, focusing on the thin metal chain running across his nose. 

It’s new, an addition that intrigues you more about the man in front of you. 

The look he gives you is lazy, gaze deadpan, almost empty. Anyone else might find it snobbish and off-putting, but you’ve gotten used to it—an almost magenta puffiness that surrounds his eyes, bags of fatigue that usually hang underneath. 

He continues to stare, unmoving. 

Considering all your previous interactions, you’ve realized, he isn’t scary or rude or anything of that sort—he’s just awkward. 

A bit quiet and unbothered, maybe, but still just awkward. You don’t think he’s ever started an interaction with you first. 

“Is there any flower in particular that you’re looking for?” you ask, motioning around your store. 

The selection is limited this season—a few camellias and clusters of Japanese primrose with an abundance of peonies and daffodils. 

His head turns as he glances around the store, pigtails bobbing slightly with each movement. When he faces you again, he shrugs, voice deep and firm as he asks, “Do you have any recommendations?” 

It’s an odd feeling, borderline awkward and nervous; you have no idea why your mind is blanking. 

“Um,” you clear your throat, tucking the peonies between your fingers into your apron pocket, “daffodils are bright and friendly, good for entryways and front desks, I think.” 

He eyes the daffodils to your right, buckets of stems holding yellow and white. The store stays quiet for what feels like a good minute before he nods, agreeing to your suggestion. 

“The usual?” two clusters, wrapped in newspaper. 

Your question echoes throughout the shop, lingering while you pick at which daffodils look best. 

“Yes, but two of them.” he answers in monotone, before adding on, a soft hesitancy, “Please.” 

You smile to yourself, picking more daffodils for another bunch. 

Both of you make your way to the cashier, another bout of silence surrounding you as you crumple newspaper and pull at tape. He always watches, you notice, his focus set on your practiced handling of stems and leaves. 

You look up momentarily, seeing that he keeps his head down, “The pigtails are cool.” 

He doesn’t say anything, and for a while you’re afraid you might have offended him, but he responds, voice low; it’s soft, gentle in a way you never expected it to be. 

“Thank you.” you catch him shifting his weight from your periphery, hands digging deeper into his pockets, “The dogs think they’re chew toys when I wear it this way.” 

You most certainly were not expecting that, either. 

This is the most initiative he’s taken to add onto the conversation.

You grin, chuckling under your breath, “That must be fun.” 

It’s faint, but you think you hear him laugh a little. 

When the flowers are completely wrapped, you set them aside, making your way behind the cash register. You punch in the cost, ready to bill him before he speaks again. 

“Actually, would you happen to do deliveries?” he seems shy asking it, barely looking you in the eye. 

“Yes!” You nod, grabbing a pen and paper to hand over to him, “Just write down your contact details, the address you want it delivered to, and when you’d like it to be delivered.” 

Another thing you’ve realized, is that despite appearances and what he seems to be, Choso handles objects gently; the pen and paper you’d just given him were taken lightly from your fingertips. Even the strokes of his penmanship are slow, the tip of the pen barely creating an indent on the small sheet. 

“Will you be having both of these delivered?” you ask, holding up the bundles of daffodils. 

“Just one.” he answers promptly, before adding on again, “Thank you.” 

And you know you shouldn’t ask, shouldn’t be so nosy, but—

“What’s the occasion?”—

Flowers are rarely in demand during the winter season. 

—“If you don’t mind me asking,” you follow-up quickly. 

The immediate quiet makes you think you might have gotten too comfortable again, made him feel weird about your questions—but he answers.

“My brothers,” he finishes the final curves of his writing, “they’re coming to visit.” 

The piece of paper is handed to you, and you hum, acknowledging his response. You go over his details, reciting it to him to double-check. But when you land on his address, your eyes go wide, a little ‘oh!’ slipping out. 

He furrows his brows, confused. 

You definitely, most certainly did not expect this. 

“Sorry,” you shake your head, your cheeks heating up in embarrassment, “Just—“ you chuckle, “I think we might be neighbors.” 

thank you notes: @twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat for sending me lil prompts that somehow birthed into this!! + @yemmuishomeforthementallyunwell for feeding the choso brainrot 🥹 + @mysugu @soumies for being my angels, lights of my life!! listening to me ramble abt this and helping me pick music, hash out plot, pick title, everything! ily

comments, tags, and reblogs are greatly appreciated ♡

[kittenintheden]

I've had a fair few people ask me how I write dialogue, and other than touting the sort-of-dismissive-feeling "I've had a lot of practice and have been doing this a long time" comment I usually make, here are a few quick tips for improving dialogue writing.

1) Listen to people talk. Like. This sounds very "no fuckin duh." But I don't mean casually overhearing conversations. I mean if you have a character with a specific background, then get some headphones and find video/audio of someone you envision them speaking like, close your eyes, and simply listen. Full immersion. Let the cadence of their voice and the vocabulary they use wash over you. Absorb it.

2) Read some screenplays and start listening to dialogue like a writer. Screenplays are a good source because film/television often relies heavily on dialogue to communicate character. The lines are intentional, they're economic, they convey ideas in a way that most of us wouldn't be able to come up with off the cuff. Consider the different ways lines can be delivered and how that can change their entire meaning.

3) Everyone has vocal tics. We all have certain ways of speaking. It's where regional accents and slang come from and it's how we express a specific image of ourselves. People SPEAK differently. Uptalk, vocal fry, pauses for emphasis, laughing to lighten the heaviness of the words, certain turns of phrase, mumbling, showmanship, whatever. Train your ear to clock those things and figure out how to use them to bring out character personality.

4) Check out some improv. If you have an improv group in your area, check them out! There's also tons of improv content online. If you're ever like "how did someone come up with that absolute fucking BANGER of a line just off the top of their head???" The answer is 1) they probably didn't just think of it, and 2) they've practiced rapid-fire back and forth, often with a comedic bent.

5) Read out loud. If you're ever like "what would a real person sound like saying this," you have the answer. Say it yourself, in the way you envision them saying it, and see where it sounds clunky and can be smoothed out. Is there a way for you to convey emphasis where it's needed?

6) Dialogue tags do in fact matter. Every once in a while you'll see the advice that you should NEVER use dialogue tags besides "says/said" because "the dialogue should speak for itself." It's mostly bullshit. Don't use them for the sake of adding a different tag to every line of dialogue, but the WAY people say things can change the meaning of the words. So use them intentionally.

7) PRACTICE. Look. I fuckin know lol. But this advice always stands. Any creative expression requires practice to improve. It's incredibly rare to have a "natural" talent for anything. So just keep on keeping on. You're doing great. And you will continue to improve.

[martsonmars]

Thanks for the tags @monbons @hushed-chorus and @whatevertheweather. I'm back and it's pick a WIP Sunday!

I really want to get back into writing Snowbaz and participating actively in the fandom. I don't exactly have more free time but I did graduate and I am technically on holiday until October, so let's try.

So I'm sharing snippets from 6 WIPs and maybe I'll be inspired to finish one of them. Help me out!!!!

1. Where Baz is a different blood sucking creature than usual. Prince and the frog but the prince is just a guy and the frog is trying to steal your blood.

The heat would be more than sufficient to make Simon reconsider all of his life choices. Give up on meat. Never touch plastic again. He'd do anything.

But no, clearly whatever sin he's committed—was it writing Jesus/Judas fanfiction when he was 15? It wasn't even explicit!—was enough to condemn him to this.

2. Holiday with the Grimms, where Simon and Baz share a bed in the same room as Malcolm and Daphne.

“Sorry I haven't delivered to my father an updated list of all the cocks I've sucked.” He wasn't smiling, but I could hear the smirk in his voice. The fake smugness. I know he's sucked half a cock (half sucked one cock?) and it was quite a disaster. “He doesn't know how deeply my virtue has already been fucked.”

I still snort at the thought. (The answer is not deeply at all.)

3. TA Simon and Baz showing up to class in a slutty Blackbeard cosplay.

I don't need a complaint for assault (let alone sexual assault) to drive my doctorate even farther away from my grasp.

I just need Grimm-Pitch to leave my classroom and come back wearing proper trousers before my overworked brain cells decide to go on permanent strike. (I'm not sure they haven't deserted me already.)

More snippets and tags under the cut!

4. Where Baz is a dryad and Simon is a woodcutter.

Simon didn't know many things, but he was pretty sure that pines weren't pretty men with long dark hair and pouty lips. Of course, Simon had never seen a man with dark green skin before, either, but he resembled a man more than a pine.

“You are not a pine. You're a man,” Simon voiced his scepticism, and he was rewarded with one more pine cone hitting his forehead. If nothing, the tree man had an impeccable aim.

5. Secret concept for this one.

Tucked in a corner as if he was trying to make himself seem smaller, yet he's got my attention like the masterpiece in a museum. Even the dim light of the pizzeria is enough to imagine the shine of his bronze curls under the summer sun. He's pale and freckled, broad and solid. Sturdy like the old table in my living room. I can perfectly see how he'd fit there, between a stack of Spinoza's complete works and the cabinet where my grandmother's Capodimonte porcelain sits unused. His back to the floor-to-ceiling window that opens on the terrace, surrounded by the bright halo of the hours before sunset. Bright like a Michelangelo in a room that's all Caravaggio.

6. This one I'm going to continue for sure when inspiration strikes, so it's not part of pick a WIP Sunday. It's maybe guess the WIP Sunday in this case.

“Sounds like you could use a break,” his deep voice says from a corner of the hall, as if he's read my mind. I see a pair of long legs first—legs for miles—crossing the room towards me, wrapped in a pair of trousers so tight I can't help but wonder how he'll take them off. (Not that I'm thinking of Baz without trousers.) (I mean, I've seen him without trousers. He wears chitons most of the time.) (He also wears really short shorts.) (I just mean I'm not thinking about taking his trousers off.) (Just. I mean.)

Tags!! No pressure just saying hi because I miss you all!!!

@facewithoutheart @sillyunicorn @onepintobean @shrekgogurt @wellbelesbian @palimpsessed @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @forabeatofadrum @fatalfangirl @cutestkilla @ileadacharmedlife @bookish-bogwitch @artsyunderstudy @orange-peony @larkral @raenestee @stitchyqueer @technetiumai @brilla-brilla-estrellita @thewholelemon @theimpossibledemon @j-nipper-95 @imagineacoolusername @blackberrysummerblog @theearlgreymage @rimeswithpurple @messofthejess @alexalexinii @nightimedreamersworld @captain-aralias @jbrrring @prettygoododds @youarenevertooold @best--dress @theotherhufflepuff @run-for-chamo-miles @valeffelees @dragoneggos @gekkoinapeartree @ionlydrinkhotwater @erzbethluna @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @shemakesmeforget @basiltonbutliketheherb @otherpeoplesheartachept-2 @aristocratic-otter @noblecorgi

[mokulule]

The Number You Have Called Cannot Be Reached 6

Part 1|Part 2|Part 3|Part 4|Part 5

Ship: Dead on Main (Danny/Jason) Warnings: angst/depression and canon typical violence

Bruce sighed, absently feeling the air on his hands folded in front of his face. He stared unseeingly ahead. His frowned deeply, at a loss of what to do. Worry picked at his self control.

Something was up with Jason. Ever since the other night, something had happened between the thief and Jason. It had left him unsettled and off balance, that much was obvious. They’d all been able to see it.

Now, today, Jason had lost control. He’d been agitated of course, but Bruce hadn’t expected the outburst. Jason was usually good at managing his anger these days, at least in the family. He didn’t get physical with them anymore in anger. Except today Jason had suddenly pulled him up by the shirt, and Bruce had honestly expected him to punch him. Jason had shaken it off, but then he’d fled.

The urge to move, to do something, itched at him. He wanted to get answers, but confronting Jason was out of the question. Their truce was fragile, and it seemed every time he spoke to Jason he said the wrong thing. He didn’t know what to do except control the urge to go after his son. He couldn’t fight his demons for him. He could only try not to make it worse.

And so he sat there, staring, unseeing.

Dick’s footsteps, came down the stairs, easily recognizable: light and almost dancing to a rhythm only he could hear, skipping a step every now and then.

“Hey B, thought you were going golfing with the mayor, keeping up the old appearances and all that” he greeted brightly, as ever immune to Bruce’s mood. Or maybe Alfred sent him down to deal with him, that was also an option.

“Oh I love these,” Dick reached forward over Bruce’s shoulder to grab a protein bar from the backpack. He opened it and started to eat it without hesitation.

“Dick,” Bruce sighed, “this is evidence.”

Dick snorted and leaned on the console so he could look at Bruce. “You’re serious.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow.

Dick snorted again, of course Bruce was serious, then he pulled the backpack over and started rooting through it. Much to Bruce’s exasperation he opened another protein bar.

“Dick, they could be drugged.”

“As if you’d have let me take the first one if that was the case,” Dick mumbled around the mouthful of granola. Bruce mentally conceded the point.

“Anyways,” Dick swallowed and continued, reading the name tag on the inside of the backpack, “Danny Fenton, who’s that?”

Bruce sighed.

“The thief.”

“The Ghost!?” Dick looked up in excitement, “so we have a name now?”

“Presumably, it may not originally have been his backpack.”

“True, doesn’t help much either does it? Danny is very common and Fenton may not be Johnson, but it’s not exactly unique.”

“I haven’t looked it up yet.”

Dick narrowed his eyes.

“This has anything to do with why you’re brooding?”

Silence stretched between them, but Dick could be surprisingly patient when he wanted to. There was no point in dragging things out, it wasn’t a secret, Dick could easily find out through the surveillance if he wanted, Bruce would rather he didn’t.

“Jason was the one who delivered the backpack.”

“Ah.” There was the worried frown Bruce would have liked to avoid. He leaned down a bit to better face Bruce.

“You had a fight?” The question was posed carefully, softly, not betraying any inkling what he thought of that, in a way to gently pry the answer from Bruce, but Bruce knew his eldest son well enough to know he was already mentally running damage control options. That was Dick, always trying to keep their family together tooth and nail. There was a soft pang of appreciation in his chest he couldn’t articulate, instead he focused on the problem at hand.

“He’s convinced the thief needs help, I don’t actually disagree.”

Dick sat back in realization, his eyes flickered to the backpack and its sorry spoils.

“But he could still be working for someone,” Dick recited with a sigh, it was an old lesson. One he knew Jason wouldn’t have appreciated, not if he felt Bruce was dismissing his concerns. “B.”

“I know.”

Do you? Dick’s eyebrows asked, but he had the grace not to actually say it. He clapped Bruce on the shoulder instead, squeezing slightly.

“He’ll warm back up.”

“You think so?” He asked unable to look up at Dick.

“Hey,” Dick said brightly in a way that naturally drew attention to him, “we’ve come back from worse.” And there was that bright smile and that pang of appreciation was back, along with another warm feeling in his chest: hope.

“Well, I gotta get going, I’ve got work tomorrow. Just gotta grab a few more of these.”

And the feeling was gone.

“Dick.”

“We shouldn’t waste perfectly good food, B, also they’re W-Mark exclusives, they don’t have them in Blüdhaven.” He grinned, pockets stuffed with contraband. Invariably reminding Bruce of a younger version with pockets full of candy he’d been denied. Brat already knew he had won. Bruce waved him off with a sigh.

Dick practically skipped towards the stairs. Then he paused.

“Oh and B, if I was you, I’d check the phone at the bottom of the bag. It’s not a brand I recognize.”

With that he was off.

Bruce stared after him. Pride warred with annoyance. He’d been so absorbed in his thoughts he hadn’t even noticed Dick checking out the bag more thoroughly than the cursory look he himself had done when Jason had handed it to him.

He grabbed the bag and rooted around a bit, and just as Dick had said, there was a phone.

He pulled it out, and turned it over in his hands. It was made from dark blue plastic. The logo on the back, a stylized V in front of a globe, wasn’t one he recognized. It looked old and scuffed, had actual buttons and a jarringly small screen when you were used to modern smartphones.

It was also out of power.

With how old it looked, it was unlikely cordless charging was an option. He looked at the bottom edge where there was an actual mini headphone jack, along with what he assumed was the charging port - it wasn’t a type he recognized.

He frowned and got up. He wouldn’t be too late for his meeting with the mayor if he left now, not something he couldn’t brush off as eccentric forgetfulness at least.

He could drop the phone off at Tim’s on the way. Tim would get the phone working one way or another.

Oo o oO

Danny stayed underneath the pavement long after the not-ghost had left. The feeling of almost giving in was a crawling like ants underneath his skin. The threat of almost capture was like a noose around his neck - if they captured him, if they managed to contain him, he would never get home.

Eventually the bone deep tiredness of using his powers too much hit him, and he dragged himself back to his haunt, invisibly and intangibly, because he’d had much too much excitement today. He was raw and empty inside when he dropped onto his blanket pile and rolled up. He would get food some other day. Never mind that he was completely out. It wouldn’t end his existence, just weaken him. Ghosts at the core ran on willpower, and Danny wanted to go home.

A small squeak and rustle, had him opening his eyes a crack and turning his head to look to the far side of the room. There the rat was going his trash, the packaging probably still smelled like food.

He huffed and closed his eyes again. If he got truly desperate he could always eat the rat - It wouldn’t be the worst thing he’d eaten.

next

Masterpost for subscription

Sorry, it's not the longest part this time, but we got to appreciate a few other characters, yay! Hope you enjoyed, cause Danny sure isn't enjoying himself.

[cinebration]

The Darkling’s Shadow (The Darkling x Reader) [Part 2]

You deliver a head to the Darkling.

Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Epilogue

Tagged: @don-daygamerz​, @weallhaveadestiny​, @kaqua​, @sinful-wxrld​, @ashdab2611​, @ultarviolence​, @chodingcreature​, @demonenotturno​, @crowssixof​​, @mxacegrey​​, @dreamlandcreations​​, @s-r-reads​​, @byulsrecs​​, @peleksstuff​​, @seraferna​​, @imtherain, @vexedvalerie​​

Warnings: blood, gore

Gif Source: ethanhunt

The report of your success at the Fjerdan border reached the Darkling before you arrived at Kribirsk. Perusing the contents of the dispatch, he felt the distinctive stirring of excitement prickling beneath his skin. Your words from days before still echoed in his ears, fanning long-dormant flames.

“I can be your shadow, the boogeyman with blood on its hands and maw waiting in anticipation of its master’s next command.”

The Grisha in the Second Army followed him, as was their duty to their commander. They would do anything he asked…up to a point. Few were in it for the fight, the thirst for battle and blood. They were there because they had to be, because nationalism united them.

His attempts to create an army centuries before had created boogeymen that had behaved unexpectedly and in undesirable ways, creatures he still desired to draw into his power. That, as yet, was still unattainable.

To have someone offer to be his bloodied anything…

The thrill that coursed through him made his hands tremble. Clenching them into fists, he mastered the emotion, stuffing it down deep within himself. Years of experience cautioned him that you were a beautiful creature designed to ensnare him, right down to the power roiling within you.

No matter. If you were, then learning the secrets of how you were created would be useful. If you weren’t, then you were a prize he couldn’t afford to lose.

What would it be like if he amplified your abilities? What brutal carnage could you wreak?

Consumed with these thoughts, he didn’t hear you glide into his tent. Only a shift in the shadows alerted him to your presence.

It took all of his effort not to snap his head around. With as much composure as he could muster, he turned to face you.

Dried blood marred your kefta, your hands, your face, slivers of bone bristling out of your hair and cloak. Bits of viscera crusted your boots, thick enough not to flake off as you stopped in the center of the space.

From your right hand hung the severed head of a Fjerdan Grisha hunter. His eyes, glazed over in death, were wide from terror.

“Where do you want it?” you asked, your voice low.

The Darkling marveled at your audacity—from the gore on your body to the dangerous edge in your tone. It seemed you were deliberately trying to provoke him, bring him down into a contest of wills.

Leaning against the table behind him, he gripped its edge in both hands, trying to control the twitches in his fingers, and gave the head a cursory glance.

“Outside,” he finally answered.

“On a pole or just…wherever?”

He fought the laugh pulling at his lips. “You traveled for three days like this?”

You didn’t bother glancing down at your ruined kefta. “It sends a message, General.”

“Does it? To whom?”

“Fear is necessary on both sides of a war. I can only do the job I am made for if others, even allies, are in terror of me.”

“The job you are made for.”

“Do you believe in fate?”

The Darkling frowned, mildly nonplussed by the sudden change in conversation.

“I believe in fate,” you continued, twisting your wrist to watch the head spin first one direction, then another. “We are all set on paths whose end we do not know. But I also believe fate is something that we make happen, not merely something that happens to us. I was not born this way. I became this with my own two hands.”

You met the Darkling’s gaze, your expression blank but your eyes blazing. “I made myself for this. I have planned and dreamed and fought my way to here, because I know what my fate is.”

He struggled to speak. “And what is your fate?”

“I will be here at the end.”

A soft stab of fear pricked his chest, startling him. “I have no patience for riddles.”

“In my lifetime, the status quo will change irrevocably. A battle that determines the course of Ravka will mark the end of an era.”

“I don’t need a prophet,” he snarled. “If you’ve come to spout nonsense I have no use for you.”

Your snort enraged him. Shoving away from the table, he stalked across the room to you, shadows following in his wake, the muscle in his jaw vibrating with his anger.

You remained still as he glowered. The lack of fear in your face sent an unpleasant stab through the Darkling’s stomach.

“The truth is,” you said, interrupting the threat rising to his lips, “my fate is inextricably tied to power. I am the right hand of Power.”

Something in your tone smothered the mounting rage within him. You spoke with the words of fanaticism, but the conviction in the depths of your pupils was more than fanatical fervor. For a heartbeat, the Darkling witnessed something he couldn’t name. A chill lodged itself deep in his bones.

You blinked, and it was gone.

“Outside, you said.” Taking a step back, you gestured needlessly to the severed head. “A pole or someplace else? You never said.”

The Darkling stared at you. Power thrummed through you, suddenly muted by your abrupt nonchalance. Covered in gore, the head hanging almost forgotten in your hand, you were the picture of madness, but your eyes were clear and steady.

He couldn’t afford to make you an enemy, he realized with sharp clarity. Not until he truly understood you.

Swiveling crisply on his heel, he returned to the table. “Place it with the corpses. I’m sure you made enough of an impression walking through the camp with it.”

“As you command.”

“You should have left it on a pole back where you took it,” he added, driven by a need to wound you. Displeasure infused his voice.

“You asked for his head, and I brought it,” you answered.

The Darkling glanced over his shoulder at you as your pause swelled to fill the tent.

“The rest,” you finished, “are on stakes to greet the next Fjerdan who dares cross the border.”

The Darkling tore his gaze away from yours, fixing it on the papers before him in a gesture of dismissal. The shadows in the room shifted as you departed, leaving him alone.

He pressed his palms flat against the table, hiding the tremors shaking his arms. He couldn’t determine what emotion caused it. Common sense told him to dispatch you speedily, to sacrifice a tool before it could become a weapon against him.

But he wanted your power.

Indecision warred within him.

The entrance to the tent darkened. “General,” Ivan intoned.

The Darkling straightened, hands clenched into fists. “Ivan, the Bonecrusher will stay in camp. Assign her quarters.”

“The Bonecrusher?” Ivan swallowed thickly, brow furrowing. “Is that wise, sir? No one trusts her, and we—they fear her.”

As the Darkling scrutinized the man’s guarded expression, his indecision faded, crisp clarity returning. “Good.”

[luchicm04]

Sinking in the Metkayina - chapter 2

Masterlist

Summary: Tonowari is obsessed. The atmosphere is completely opposite to the first chapter. For those who want to preserve the impressions from Chapter 1, I recommend not reading.

Pairing: Tonowari/Omatikaya!Fem Reader

Tag: #sinking in the metkayina fic

posted on ao3

Word count: +6k

All characters belong to Avatar, and all rights are reserved to the original work whose author allowed me to translate it.

Overall warnings: hurt/comfort, fluff, obsessive behavior⚠️

“Hey!!! Excuse me, are you part of the Omatikaya?”

“No. I’m from the Tawkami clan.”

“Well, can you stop by the Omatikaya then?”

“It is on the way, but…”

“Thank goodness...! Please, tell the Olo’eyktan of the Omatikaya that (Y/n) is alive and is now living with the Metkayina!”

Because she was happily living with Tonowari, she hadn’t thought about Jake or the humans who probably considered her dead… When she first got to the island, the human knew she would be rejected if she asked to pass on the news, and after that, she was busy collecting research samples in the ocean that she loved, so she forgot about it…

‘How could I forget just like that?’

Back at the base, she’ll have access to the conveniences and familiarity of civilization and research equipment.

After living for so long in tribal society using only the things permitted, she was so happy thinking about going back… She could examine the things she had collected there under a microscope and run them through all sorts of testing machines!!

Of course, there was the issue of the relationship with Tonowari, but she thought that she could just give him communication devices and talk to him every day. She thought that she would stay at the base for a while, and then move the necessary things and go back and forth between the Omatikaya and Metkayina.

(Y/n) believed that Tonowari would understand all of that.

Because he was an understanding man.

──

The human helicopter arrived earlier than expected; the Tawkami Na’vi must have quickly delivered the message.

(Y/n) barely managed to stop the tribesmen from attacking it, agitated by the landing of an unfamiliar mechanism, and shouted in joy at the man who had gotten off of it.

“Ralph!”

“(Y/n)! You’re alive!”

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily. It’s been so long...”

As soon as Ralph stepped on the sand, he ran to hug his colleague who he thought had passed away and cried tears of happiness. (Y/n), who was hugging him back, also shed tears. After being shipwrecked and lost for months, only then did she realize she had made it. She had survived.

“Have you been here this whole time?”

“Yeah, I forgot to try and contact you… Sorry.”

“It’s okay, I’m just grateful that you did now. Come on, let’s go back.”

The girl felt as if she had been slapped back to reality. “Huh?”

“Everyone’s waiting. Is your drinking capacity still intact?”

“Of course! ...Um, but…”

She hadn’t finished organizing everything yet. She hadn’t even said goodbye yet… But before she could utter a single word, a hand roughly pulled (Y/n), who had stayed still hesitantly, away from Ralph.

Tonowari spoke with a severe face, holding (Y/n)’s arm so tightly she almost fell on her knees. “What do you mean go back?” he questioned, having managed to overhear their conversation and remembering the few English words he had learned through the girl.

“Oh, right… I see you. My name is Ralph. I’m (Y/n)’s workmate.”

“I asked what did you mean with ‘go back’.”

“We are currently on war against our enemies alongside the Omatikaya. Didn’t (Y/n) say that she came from there?” Ralph explained, a bit cautiously.

“It doesn’t matter. The Metkayina is with whom (Y/n) is staying right now, and she won’t be going back.”

(Y/n) looked up at him in surprise. “Tonowari, what are you talking about…! Ralph, I’m sorry, I haven’t talked to the Na’vis here yet...”

“If we talk about this, will anything change?” The man continued to gaze intently at her.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you in advance, but… all my foundations are in the forest; I have to go back.”

“Are you leaving me?”

Ralph, sensing something was wrong judging by Tonowari’s frighteningly hardened expression, looked at (Y/n) with a face that demanded an explanation.

“I think you’re too worked up, let’s go inside and talk. Ralph, I’m sorry, but I can’t go back today. Can you return in three days?”

“Don’t come. She won’t leave.”

“Tonowari…! I’ll explain properly, Ralph, just go!”

“(Y/n), are you alright?”

“Yes, just go now!”

The human male got back on the helicopter, seeing that something was seriously wrong with his friend but couldn’t do anything about it. All he could do was shout, “I’ll be back in three days!”

When (Y/n) saw the helicopter take off, she looked around. Even though they didn’t know the details of the what was discussed, the observing people could tell that the human girl had been about to leave, and the young Na’vis were looking at her with hurt eyes.

“Guys, I didn’t mean to leave just like th- Ow! Tonowari…!”

While normally his heart would tremble even when (Y/n) pretended to be sick, the chief gripper her arm, almost dragging her and headed towards their shared marui.

“You need to explain yourself.”

“It hurts…!”

As soon as they arrived, Tonowari threw her arm away and spoke.

“Now tell me, what did you plan on doing?”

“This is a misunderstanding, Tonowari… It wasn’t my intention to leave you all like that.”

“How can I believe you?” he asked more softly with a deep voice.

“I was just planning to go back and rest for a bit, then come back and spend some time going back and forth between the two locations.”

“Without saying a word to anyone?”

“Tonowari, listen. I was going to go and come back, really.”

“I already asked, how can I believe you?”

“...Believe it or not, I’m going. Ralph is coming back in three days.”

Tonowari’s face, devoid of a single smile, was eerily frozen. “You’re going with that man? Leaving me behind?”

(Y/n) was starting to get a little scared. However, she thought it was a process that they had to go through anyway, so she continued to speak firmly.

“Ralph is just a co-worker. He’s just like any of my collagues.”

“...Ha. There are other men too?”

“What the hell does that have to do with…?”

“Alright, that’s the end of the story. You will stay here, and tell your ‘colleagues’ the same thing.”

“Tonowari!”

“Do not test my patience any longer.”

‘Well, what if I try it, huh?’

At this point, (Y/n) was pissed. She had explained it several times; why didn’t he listen? Didn’t she say she’d be coming back?? The girl sat down and started packing her things as if she was protesting.

“(Y/n),” he uttered her name in a chilling tone.

“I don’t want to talk right now.”

“(Y/n), I warned you.”

“Well then, what are you going to do?” she asked challengingly without turning back or stopping what she was doing.

Tonowari, who had been quietly looking down at (Y/n) with his mouth shut, roughly grabbed her arm and pulled her up… and threw her over his shoulder.

In an instant, her eye level rose to nearly 3 meters, and Tonowari headed towards the sea without even caring whether his hold was being harsh or not.

“Where are you going? Let go of me! Tonowari!”

As soon as he jumped into the sea with his head held high, (Y/n) froze when she saw his Skimwing approaching him as if it had been waiting for him. They were usually dangerous and she wasn’t even allowed to go near one, so it made no sense to put her in such a dangerous position. Regardless, Tonowari, who had gotten used to her trashing and made Tsaheylu with it, crossed through the water and headed somewhere unknown to her.

The place he took (Y/n), who was frightened and with no further intention of rebelling further, was… a small rocky island with rough waves crashing against it.

Tonowari reached the coastal cave there and laid (Y/n) down, exhausted from hear.

“This place has strong currents and brutal waves. You can’t possibly get close unless you have a Tsurak. Of course, you can’t get out of it either.”

“Are you out of your mind?!”

“There is a freshwater lake, so you will have a place to drink and wash. I will bring you food.”

“Tonowari! Are you hearing yourself right now?”

“I shall come twice a day.”

(Y/n), who was grasping for breath on the cave floor, suddenly got up and tried to fight against Tonowari, but she was easily subdued… The girl felt so wronged that she almost cried. She tried to escape from Tonowari’s hands and yelled almost in tears.

“W-why? Why are you doing this to me?”

“Because you are my mate.”

Tonowari’s eyes possessed an unreadable light as he said those words, and (Y/n) felt at a loss for words.

“I’ll be back in the evening, so cool your head and rest.”

The man let go of her arm and walked back to the beach, then rode off on his Skimwing without looking back.

Only a dazed (Y/n) remained on the rocky island.

──

(Y/n), who was crouching blankly in the cave, didn’t even know how much time had passed. All she could perceive was the wind blowing, the waves crashing, and the sky getting dark.

When Tonowari arrived, it was evening, as anticipated, with the sun setting.

He put down some fruits and other foods that (Y/n) liked and usually ate, and spoke, “I brought you something to eat.”

“I won’t.”

“You must in order to survive.”

“Then let me go.”

“That is not possible.”

(Y/n) chuckled.

“You won’t let me go back, you dragged me here and you confined me. What’s next?”

“Please, at least eat something.”

“And if I don’t? Will you force me?”

“No. I would never use violence on you.”

“You know, that’s really funny… I’m not eating, so take the food back. Or throw it away.”

After saying those words, Tonowari stared at (Y/n) with his mouth shot for a long time. He picked up a fruit, took a bite, and came closer. (Y/n) noticed what he was trying to do and struck his cheek with all her might, but his neck didn’t even turn… It looked like he was going to kiss her.

Blood was flowing from Tonowari’s mouth after their lips were glued together for a few seconds and then pulled away… The girl had bit his lip.

His finger touched his bruised lip and he looked at it with slight anger. “Nothing good will come from this.”

“If you know it won’t get any better, why are you doing this?”

“You don’t understand.”

“If it was going to be like this, why did you treat me so well?”

“(Y/n)-”

“Why did you make the people think you are a good mate, a good Na’vi?!”

Tears fell from (Y/n)’s eyes. Betrayal, sadness and resentment was all she could feel, but also a little bit of a desire to still believe… a faint hope that if she told him, he would listen.

“It’s not too late. Let me go.”

“...I love you.”

“Take me back, please...”

“I love you.”

“Please, don’t let me hate you…”

Tonowari just hugged her without even wiping the blood flowing from his mouth. (Y/n) was crying in hopelessness in his arms and beating his chest, asking how this could be called love… The hand that stroke (Y/n)’s back was as affectionate as ever, and that made (Y/n) fall into despair even more.

──

Tonowari came to see (Y/n) twice a day, as promised. Each time, the human didn’t open her mouth nor looked at him, but he paid no attention to it and continued to talk about the day’s events as if nothing had happened.

“Today I helped the children ride an Ilu for the first time. It made me happy… reminded me of my memories with you. I hope we get to do that soon.”

“The whole village is busy because it’s clam digging season.”

“The Tulkuns have created a new song and it’s so beautiful. I wish to listen to it together later...”

Every time the word ‘together’ came out, (Y/n) would snicker in amazement. It had been only a few days that they did everything together, but now it was a word that felt so distant.

On the sixth day that Tonowari came, the girl had a gut feeling that he had met Ralph again when she saw his mouth clenched even tighter than usual.

“That man came. I told him to go back because you wouldn’t be leaving.”

“...Are you satisfied now?”

“He said he’d be back again to keep looking for you. I can’t be at peace until then.”

“When will it be enough for you?”

“Until you become my mate completely.”

“Then, you’re screwed; you’ll never be satisfied in your life.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I used to be your mate, you know? You were the one who doubted me and ruined things.”

“That happened when you tried to leave without saying a word.”

“...Okay, talking any further will get us nowhere.”

Tonowari looked at (Y/n)’s back, who had turned around as if there was no point in arguing any longer, with eyes full of all kinds of emotions.

(Y/n) felt those gazes but ignored them and bit her lips tightly… She had no idea where it went wrong and whether they could turn this relationship around.

‘I wonder if I’ll ever get out of here…’

──

The girl didn’t bother to keep track of the number of days that passed from then on. She didn’t even count the amount of times Tonowari would visit her without fail, because she feared she’d go crazy if she realized she had been locked away alone that much time.

As always, the Na’vi got up, whispering his unanswered love and spoke caressing her face, which had become pale due to not eating properly (although much of what she ate, she had thrown up). “I’ll be leaving now for today. I shall be back tomorrow morning, so make sure you eat something before then.”

“...”

“I love you.”

(Y/n), as always, sat still without seeing him off. Soon, she heard the Skimwing’s wings flapping, meaning she had been left alone again.

‘How long has it been…’

As she stood blankly for a long time, (Y/n) realized that the sound could be heard once more, although faintly.

‘He said he’d come in the morning… Why is he back again?’

The human was not happy either way, so she sat there with her back to the sea.

“(Y/n), (Y/n)! Are you there?!”

Until she heard a woman’s voice.

“...Maunan?”

It was the Tsahìk of the Maetkayina.

As soon as she heard that voice, (Y/n) jumped up and ran out.

‘Please, please…’

It was Maunan, who jumped down after her Skimwing landed. When she saw the taller woman’s face, (Y/n) burst into tears and cried loudly.

“Maunan!!!”

“Eywa… Have you been here the whole time?”

“Yes, here… c-continuously… ugh...”

“The people were very worried.”

Maunan, seeing her haggard complexion, wiped her tears and did her best to comfort her.

“How did it come to this…?”

“Y-you came to save me? Can I leave now?”

The Na’vi looked at her pitifully, imagining how strong her desire was to be back at her home in the jungle. “No, not yet. There’s a limit to how far you can go with a Skimwing. There is an Ikran rider who is leaving for the forest soon. I’ll tell him to spread the news about what happened, so hold on here for three days.”

“Three days...”

“I believe three days will be enough for the Sky People to hear about it and come back. Is that alright with you?”

“Yes, I can handle it… Thank you… Thank you…”

“No need for that. It’s my fault for not stopping the situation in time.”

After soothing (Y/n), who was sobbing in relief that she would finally escape, Maunan said that she would be going and advised her not let herself be caught by Tonowari. Only after seeing the human nodding with a tearful face did she take off on her mount.

(Y/n) was left alone on the rocky island again, but she was no longer distressed.

‘Three days… I must hold out until then.’

(Y/n) started putting into her mouth the food that Tonowari had left behind, which she had never even looked at unless she was really close to dying… Up until then, she had not experienced any flavor when she ate, but for the first time in weeks since she had been trapped there, she could taste the sweetness of the fruit. After gulping down the water, she felt much more energetic.

The next morning, Tonowari, who brought food as usual, saw for the first time that (Y/n) had emptied the food.

“Will you be eating now?”

“...Yes...”

“Good. I was worried about you…” Tonowari said caressing her cheek, whose complexion had improved. And, again, for the first time, (Y/n) did not slap his hand away.

How long had it been since (Y/n) accepted Tonowari’s touch instead of rejecting it…? The man felt as if the two of them had gone back to how it used to be in the past, even if it was only for a moment. At that time, everything was happiness. (Y/n) loved him as if she would stay by his side forever, and with that alone, Tonowari felt like he had the whole world.

And now… although it had gotten better, he could still see her gaunt face and listless appearance. Tonowari suddenly felt a surge of emotion… How had it ended up like this? ...He had been happier than anyone else, but the feeling of having ruined it with his own hands struck his hands.

“...I’ll be going now.”

In the end, Tonowari couldn’t stay long that day and ran away from the rocky island… (Y/n) still didn’t see him off, but she watched his back as he rode off on his Skimwing for a long time.

──

Two days left

The next day, (Y/n) ate all the food Tonowari had brought, and some color returned to her pale face. After finishing all the clams that she especially liked, he was once again caught up in that inexplicable feeling as he watched (Y/n) resting as if she was full.

The girl blushed and said, “If you grill the clams next time, let’s eat them together.”

He vividly remembered (Y/n)’s first day of class, when he had felt sorry for her and had tried so hard to help her out due to her not even being able to open the clams.

Now that he thought about it, Tonowari may have started paying special attention to (Y/n) since that moment. Did he know back then that this would happen? If he had known… would he still have opened that clam?

Tonowari was overcome with all sorts of emotions as he looked at (Y/n)’s body, which had always been small, but now it somehow seemed even smaller… He remembered the memory of him hugging her small frame, kissing her and smiling. He also remembered the face that pretended not to have anything going on with him and kissed him briefly when no one was looking, and the voice that whispered that she loved him.

He felt like he had ruined it all.

Looking at (Y/n)’s expressionless face, Tonowari asked impulsively, “Can I hug you just this once?”

The human turned her head at those words and stared at him for a while without saying anything before answering quietly.

“...Alright.”

As always, Tonowari lowered his body, met her gaze, and hugged her affectionately. (Y/n) did not avoid him.

──

One day left

Tonowari, who had left the rocky island as if he was running away that day, recalled the fond feelings and memories that had welled up the moment he hugged (Y/n). Those whirlwind emotions didn’t go away even after lying down on the floor of his marui, so he couldn’t fall asleep and kept tossing and turning. The nights he had spent with (Y/n) were not like that at all.

Her body would lie down and fit perfectly into his arms, whispering “Good night, Tonowari.” and she’d finally close her eyes. When he opened his eyes in the morning, (Y/n)’s round eyes and the mischievous voice that teased him for being sleepy would be the first thing he’d see.

It was Tonowari who ruined it all.

Not (Y/n).

Tonowari got up and washed his face dry, going over his mother’s words on his head.

“Tomorrow, bring (Y/n) back and… apologize.”

He couldn’t help it.

Because Tonowari loved (Y/n) too much to give up her affectionate whispers and touches.

──

The third day came and (Y/n) opened her eyes. Even though it was just dawn, the girl was biting her fingernails nervously… She sat down and swayed her legs, then jumped up and ran to the beach, narrowing her eyes and searching the distant sky.

He’d come… He said he would… He had to get her out of there.

Before Tonowari arrived…

How long did she wait like that…? Who knows, because soon enough, she started hearing the familiar sound of a propeller from afar.

It was a helicopter! It was there to pick her up!

(Y/n) was so happy that she jumped up and down in place, screaming “H-here! I’m over here!!”

“(Y/n)! Oh my god, are you okay?!”

“Ralph…! Oh, God, thank you…”

Her eyes welled up with tears as she heard the English words… Ralph’s expression of shock at her appearance, which seemed to have almost lost half its life, was vivid.

“Let’s go. Quickly, we have to leave before that crazy guy gets here!”

The island was too small and uneven for a helicopter to land on, so Ralph reached out from the cabin of the vehicle that was a short distance from the ground. Right when she was about to grab his hand, (Y/n) hesitated for a moment.

‘If I leave now… it will be the end of me with Tonowari. Our relationship will be over, just like that.’

Despite all that catastrophe, the thought of it made the blood drain from her fingertips.

“Ralph, I…”

“(Y/n)!!!”

The sound of a Skimwing’s wings flapping was heard along with that scream.

As soon as he had seen the Sky People’s machine that he had already witnessed once, Tonowari understood the situation flew towards them at a fast speed, his face turning pale.

“(Y/n), I was wrong! Please, please don’t leave!”

A desperate cry… Tonowari was pleading, yelling as if pouring out everything inside him.

“Shit, he’s already here… Get in, (Y/n)!”

“I… Wait, I...”

“If we wait any longer, it’ll be too late!”

The man grabbed (Y/n)’s hesitating hand and pulled with all his might, and (Y/n) was put on the chopper’s back. It would have been right to leave without even looking back, but the girl couldn’t take her eyes off Tonowari even after getting on the helicopter.

“(Y/n), please, please…!! I was wrong, please! Please, just stay…!!”

The pilot, after confirming that his companion was safely on board, took off straight upward. Their ride, which had risen to a point beyond the reach of the Skimwing, took off towards the forest at an incomparable speed.

“(Y/n)!!!”

Leaving behind Tonowari’s desperate cries.

Ralph looked anxiously at the strangely quiet (Y/n) behind him after having saved her in the nick of time while they headed back to the jungle.

“Are… are you alright?”

“...Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you for saving me.”

This was the right thing.

It was right to cut off that kind of relationship.

For Tonowari’s sake, and for hers.

(Y/n) kept looking back without saying a word… After flying like that for a few hours, when they arrived at the forest, the humans who had been waiting hugged her and welcomed her with tears in their eyes.

“(Y/n)! God, look at your face…! Are you okay?”

“We’re so sorry, we should have looked for you more...”

“Get in, quickly. You need to eat something warm and rest.”

She went inside and drank warm coca with marshmallows floating on top for an unknown amount of time, and then went through a health checkup just in case. Except for a slight malnutrition caused by skipping meals, everything was fine, so her colleagues breathed out a sigh of relief.

“The body is not the problem, it’s the mind...”

“Shh, be quiet.”

“Why? Did I say something wrong?”

“Just… pay attention…!”

It was already known by everyone that she had been in a relationship with Tonowari, as it had been declared by Maunan… and being imprisoned by such a lover was not an experience that could be easily overlooked. Since none of the remaining humans had majored in counseling or anything like that, they all just gave her their best wishes and let her rest in peace.

(Y/n) came into her room, saying she wanted to be alone, and swept the desk she had not seen in a long time with her hand. There was no dust, as if it had been cleaned in advance. She still didn’t feel like she was back.

The girl laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling. The mattress was soft, fluffy and comfortable; unrivalled to the hammock or floor of the open-plan marui. Suddenly, as she was just laying there, she felt that the bed was too cold. Was it because there was no large body that hugged her warmly? Although she had slept alone the whole time she had been on that island, the empty space felt alien, as if they he had been with her the day before.

‘No, Tonowari is a bad man who pressured me, trapped me on that island, and then shamelessly forced me not to leave.

Whether he was kind or not.

Whether he gave me a warm hug or not.

Whether he whispered that he loved me or not.’

(Y/n) knew it was nonsense, but… she wanted to see Tonowari.

She hated it so much, but was it because she realized she could never see him again? Memories of Tonowari continued to come to her mind without stopping. When he first gave her a ride, when he made her a necklace out of pretty conch shells, when he made her laugh with the kids and told her stories about shells… All her good memories were with Tonowari.

That night, the only thing that could be heard from (Y/n)’s room was the sound of sobbing and crying nonstop.

Meanwhile, the humans were not over their worries… because… Tonowari knew that (Y/n) was residing with the Omatikaya and even more so, he was the Olo’eyktan of a clan… Jake had to maintain the best possible relationship with the other tribes or, in the worst-case scenario, there would be an armed conflict.

Her friends asked Jake what he was going to do, and the former avatar decided to stick to his stance of protecting (Y/n).

“If it weren’t for (Y/n) during the war, half of us would have died. (Y/n) is like you, a member of my tribe. I survived and became the leader, but I won’t abandon my people like old shoes. Instead, we should avoid conflict as much as possible… and we should also prevent (Y/n) and Tonowari from seeing each other.”

He thought everything would be okay once the war was over, but he put his hand on his forehead, troubled by another matter.

“That Olo’eyktan… should be here by now?”

“It’s a matter of time.”

“...Even if he does something, don’t tell (Y/n).”

“Of course.”

Jake was half prepared for war, half prepared for diplomacy. He’d go with other Na’vis armed with weapons and try his best to avoid conflict, but if things went unexpectedly… While tension hung over the entire base, (Y/n) just cried in her room or slept like she was dead. She didn’t want to do anything else; she didn’t have the energy for it.

Unfortunately for the humans, time flew by… and finally, a radio message came from a tribesman who was scouting on an Ikran.

“A sea Na’vi has been spotted. He is believed to be the Olo’eyktan of the Metkayina, riding a Pa’li.”

“Hmm… How many people are with him?”

“That’s… the strange thing.”

“Strange?”

“He is alone.”

Alone? The humans who heard the radio were muttering. So, that meant he didn’t plan on using force, right? That was good… Nevertheless, why come alone? What was he thinking?

“Ha… I’ll go over there and talk to him first; don’t let (Y/n) know. It’s best if you distract her so she can’t come out at all.”

“Should be easy enough. She just cries in her room and doesn’t go out anyway.”

──

“I see you, Tonowari.”

“I see you, JakeSully.”

Jake’s palms were slightly sweaty as he faced Tonowari. The Na’vi, who was nearly 3 meters tall and had a body that would make it difficult to predict the outcome if they fought, was looking down at him.

“I will not take much of your time. Allow me to talk to (Y/n).”

“That won’t be possible. You know why.”

“I’m not here to do any harm. I just want to talk, that’s all.”

“(Y/n) won’t want to see you.”

“...I know.”

“Then you know why I have no choice but to refuse your request.”

“Just let me talk to her. The consequences will be on me.”

──

“...Jane? What are you doing at the door?”

“Huh? Oh, I… I was just looking at something.”

“I’m going out. Can you please step aside?”

“E-eh? Ahaha… Shouldn’t you sleep a little more?”

“No, I already slept for some time… I wanted to go get some fresh air.”

“The weather outside is not that great today~ Just stay in your room!”

“…? It seemed okay when I looked through the window?”

“It’s hot and humid and not pleasant...!”

The girl stared oddly at her colleague.

“What’s wrong? It looks as if you’re trying to keep me from going out.”

“Huh? O-oh, uh… No~ No, it’s just that...”

“Is there any reason why I shouldn’t go out?”

“W-what? Of course not, why would there be? Ahaha~”

“…..”

“Ahahaha...”

“Is Tonowari here?”

It was something like an intuition that even (Y/n) couldn’t explain. An instinctive inkling that Tonowari had come to see here.

“Eh? What… What are you talking about? Why would that Na’vi be here?”

“Tonowari is here, isn’t here?”

“That’s not it- (Y/n)! (Y/n), where are you going, (Y/n)!!”

She pushed past Jane and hurried down the hallway. While she was running, (Y/n) felt several hands trying to get a hold of her saying “Hey! Grab her! Don’t let her out!”. She didn’t know where the strength came from, but she shook the all off and pushed the door open with all her might and got out.

She squinted for a moment under the dazzling sunlight, then opened her eyes and looked at the spot where Tonowari was standing still. Jake made a face of defeat and gestured to his friends next to him.

“Take her back in, hurry!”

“No, let me talk to him.”

“...(Y/n)?”

“It was me who got tied up in this mess, so it’s me who has to do it, not you.”

“...I’ll be watching from the side, just in case.”

“Thanks, Jake.”

And so, (Y/n) stood in front of Tonowari for the first time in a long time.

“...(Y/n).”

“Long time no see, Tonowari.”

“...I have a lot to say.”

“Try me.”

The man fell to his knees. Jake looked back and forth between them in confusion.

“...I’m sorry. It was all my fault, and I dare not ask for forgiveness. I… I apologize for everything.”

“What do you want?”

“Just let me stay by your side.”

“Are you asking me to go back?”

“No, I shall stay with you.”

“...You’re going to stay in the forest?”

“If you permit me.”

“You- you are Olo’eyktan.”

“I’ll leave everything behind. The sea has no meaning to em without you.”

(Y/n) bit her lip and looked at Tonowari.

“If that’s the case, why did you do it?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Do you know how brazen you’re being right now?”

“It’s all my fault.”

“After locking me up, you think you can fix everything with a few words?”

“The morning you left, I was going to give up everything and take you out.”

“Are you expecting me to believe that?”

“You don’t have to believe it, just… know that it’s the truth.”

“...What are you going to do from now on?”

“I will atone for my sins by your side. You don’t have to love me, and you can hit me if you wish.”

“You want me to stay by your side? Even in the end, you only think about your own good.”

“...I’m sorry.”

The human looked at the sky for a moment. It was as clear as the day (Y/n) escaped from the island, and there before her was her captor kneeling, waiting for his punishment.

What did she want to do? The woman shut her mouth and stared at Tonowari.

‘Kiss me. Give it a try first and then decide.’

──

“(Y/n), are you sure about this? Really sure?”

“I told you, I really am. And don’t you remember what my major is? It makes it more convenient to love by the sea.”

“If it was going to end up like this… why did we make such a fuss about it?”

“If anything happens, be sure to contact me, okay? Charge your communication equipment frequently, and hide it somewhere Tonowari doesn’t know about.”

“Ralph will come to see me anyway. It’s okay.”

(Y/n)’s colleagues were worried about her as she prepared to leave with a bundle of luggage loaded onto the helicopter. She tried to reassure them one by one, as she didn’t want them to be so concerned. However, a large, distracting sea Na’vi kept hovering around her, unable to sit still.

“Just come and hold my hand. Don’t worry about what others think.”

“Okay…?”

They all must have been glaring at Tonowari, who they didn’t and couldn’t trust. Ralph, who had decided to go to the Metkayina regularly to check on her while delivering goods, said “I’ll keep a close eye on her.”

“Don’t worry, I’m going to be fine.”

“Yeah, that didn’t turn out so well last time,” he said and then prepared for takeoff as soon as Tonowari got into the helicopter.

The Na’vi silently held (Y/n)’s hand, who was sitting next to him, and then carefully brought it to his mouth with anxious eyes, as if he was about to press his lips against it. (Y/n) just smiled while looking at him.

After taking them to the reef clan, unpacking her luggage and reassuring Ralph, who kept gazing at Tonowari with a distrustful look, he spoke one last time with her alone.

“Even if nothing happens, please contact me every day, okay?”

──

(Y/n) sat down comfortably, but Tonowari couldn’t help but fidget and look around.

“Sit down, this is your home.”

“...Our home.”

She looked around the marui… It felt strange, because nothing had really changed since then.

“I brought some decorations, so I’ll put it over there.”

“Do whatever you want.”

“I’ll keep the experimental equipment here. Don’t touch it.”

“I understand.”

While she unpacked, (Y/n) suddenly let out a deep breath. Tonowari seemed to hesitate before asking.

“Do you regret it?”

“You?”

“I regret many things… but I don’t regret being by your side.”

“That’s fine, then.”

When she approached Tonowari and opened her arms as if asking for a hug, he wavered for a moment and then embraced her in a familiar way.

“Listen to me carefully. If you do something like that in the future, I really won’t ever forgive you.”

“That will never happen again.”

“And be sure to thank Maunan. She saved me.”

“Of course.”

Only then did (Y/n) actually hug Tonowari’s neck and gave him a light kiss.

“Now, let’s get back to bedecking our home.”

“...Yes, our home.”

(Y/n) acted awkward for a while and didn’t express their love as freely as before. The experience had clearly left scars, and (Y/n) sometimes woke up from her sleep and looked around to see if she was back on that rocky island. Each time, she was comforted by the warmth that embraced her and gave her solace.

(Y/n) thought that was enough.

Normal – Na'vi

Italics – English

Vocabulary list: olo’eyktan (clan leader), marui (pods built in the giant mangrove-like trees alongside the shores and are protected from crashing waves by giant reef barriers), tsaheylu (bond, neural connection), tsurak (skimwing), tsahìk (head shaman, high priest, interpreter), ikran (mountain banshee), pa’li (direhorse)

[scarletvanfleet]

Pairings: Josh x Danny, Sam x F!OC "Lena", Jake x M!OC "Kit". SLASH PAIRINGS!

Word Count: 9k

18+ NO MINORS! NO SMUT IN THIS PART BUT THERE IS SOME IN PART 2. ADULT CONTENT BELOW CUT.

"Sometimes when you want something so fucking bad, it doesn't go away. Even when it breaks your heart. Sometimes it just... Sits there. Waiting."

Read on AO3

Part 2 (TBA)

Warnings/Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fraternity, Angst, Mutual Pining, Graduation, Implied Sexual Content, Jealousy, Awkwardness, Hugs, Crying, House Party, Alcohol, Love Confessions, Explicit Language, Awkward Flirting, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Arguing, First Dates, Awkward Conversations, Frostbite, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Hypothermia-Not Serious, Jake is smitten, Classic Cars, Arts and Crafts, hand holding.

A/N Below Cut.

A/N: Hello! I'm back! A couple of you were interested in a follow up story to Philia, or a "not sad Josh/Danny fic". Well, in true Scarlet fashion, I have delivered. May I introduce to you.... Pragma. The sequel to "Philia", as well as the second installment in the "Greek Loves Universe".

Special thank you to my lovely Beta reader and best friends, @kultavalo and @jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka for your continued support, ideas, and interest in this world of fiction. You are the best friends a girl could have.

𓇢𓆸

Sometimes when you want something so fucking bad, it doesn't go away. Even when it breaks your heart. Sometimes it just... Sits there. Waiting.

This was the thought that was currently making its way through Josh's head as he crossed the stage to collect his diploma and move the tassel on his hat to the other side. When he looked out to the crowd to see his friends and family who were loudly whooping and yelling his name, he caught the eyes of the very person who he'd been tiptoeing around for the past three years.

So much had changed since that day when he and Danny had sat in his old beat-up car on New Year's Day, and he'd let him down as gently as he possibly could. But he knew that he had broken his heart, as well as his own that day, and damn near destroyed their friendship.

Josh knew that the damage to their friendship wasn't intentional. It just happened. Danny needed distance after that night, and time to heal. He was hurt, and Josh understood that. He also understood that he had to be real with himself and with Danny. That's why he did what he did. Sure, it was selfish, and he'd continued to be selfish in those years since then. Just as he'd implied that he would be.

He explored, he experienced. He worked his ass off in school, focused on his major in education and came out close to the top of his class. He partied and was involved with his Fraternity. He dated around.... Well... He went on dates. Slept with people of any gender, very rarely seeing someone more than twice, and he never formed a lasting attachment to anyone. He had friends and he had short term lovers. Distractions. That's what they really were.

Distractions.

𓇢𓆸

In the fall of the year after the New Year's party, Danny joined the Kiszka brothers at Michigan State and pledged the fraternity. He even got his own apartment near the university, which was pretty nice. He still came around regularly, mainly to do frat related activities and hang out with Sam. But that didn't mean there weren't times when they'd be relaxing on the couch when Josh would walk in the front door with someone neither of them recognized, barely offer them a passing glance, and lead his partner into his room.

The first time this happened, Danny clenched his teeth and sat through the movie with Sam. He tried his best to ignore the moans and grunts of pleasure that seeped under the door and through the thin walls of the house. He swallowed the lump in his throat and held back his discomfort until the credits started to roll, then quickly gathered himself and left the house with a promise to text Sam when he got to his apartment. He could see the turmoil on Sam's face. But what could he do? It was Josh's house too.

The subsequent times after that when Josh brought someone home, Danny had very quickly dismissed himself and left the house. Sometimes Sam would tag along with him, and on rare occasions so would Jake. They never really spoke about it, but Danny knew that they’d both harbored some guilt even though they really had nothing to do with it.

Other than those instances where Josh would bring someone home, Danny rarely saw him. In between their conflicting schedules and everything else, they'd almost never see each other. When they did, it would be at a fraternity gathering where they kept their distance most of the time, or at Sam's shared house where Josh might join them for dinner.

Their conversations were cursory in nature. Very often being a "hey" or a quick "how are you" followed by a curt answer and then silence until Sam cuts in with a random topic to kill the awkwardness.

Danny was immensely grateful for Sam at those times.

There came a point when the walking on eggshells, quick vague conversations and distance just became too much. After being friends for most of their lives the sudden change to near strangers was affecting all of them.

Josh thought that something had to change as he changed the direction of his gaze and began to walk off the stage to resume his seat next to his twin.

The ceremony went on for a long while and he politely clapped for each graduate as they collected their diploma and went on their way. He saw a few faces he recognized. Friends from classes, fraternity brothers, hook ups. When they were finally done with the last of the graduates, they all stood and cheered. Some threw their hats and others hugged their friends and went to hug their families too. Josh and Jake navigated the sea of people until they found their families and Danny all huddled together. They hugged all of them tightly but when it was Josh's turn to hug Danny, he hesitated. The two met eyes and Danny's hands twisted together anxiously before he sighed and let his hands drop to his sides. Ronnie, the Kiszka's sister, eyed the situation curiously as Danny stepped forward and brought Josh into an embrace. The surprise on his face was evident but it only took a few moments for his body to catch up and he put his arms around Danny's back to hug him in return.

It felt nice to be close to him again after the years of distance. He could smell Danny's after shave and that hair product he always used that smelled vaguely of coconut. The sensory experience made some tears well up in Josh's eyes as he sunk into Danny's chest. He hadn't realized how long they'd been hugging until he heard a cough come from his twin and quickly pulled away, avoiding eye contact while quickly swiping at his lower lids with the back of his hand.

No one said a word about it and Josh was ever so thankful for that.

"So.... Who's hungry?" Jake quickly said, addressing the group.

"Ooh! Me! I'm starving. That ceremony took forever!" Sam yelled loudly, his arm shooting up in the air.

"Yeah, well you better get used to it because you'll have to come to mine next year!" Danny laughed and clasped a large hand over Sam's shoulder before guiding him towards the exit as the others followed.

𓇢𓆸

After they ate, the family split off and went to their hotel to get ready for the graduation party which would be taking place that evening, and the brothers went to their house to begin preparing. Danny too had gone to their house to help with set up. Sam insisted on the twins taking a back seat to the process since they were the ones being celebrated. So, it was really just Danny and Sam who started cleaning up the house and setting up tables and chairs as well as putting decorations in the backyard.

"Do you think we should put some balloons in the pool?" Asked Sam as he tied off yet another black latex balloon before securing it onto the banner above the door.

"That would be cool. Might be kind of messy though if they pop and you have to pick rubber out of the grass." Danny answered while he arranged one of the tables outside where the cake was supposed to go.

"Wouldn't be my first time picking rubbers out of the grass." Sam giggled with a shameless grin on his face.

"Oh, ew dude. I do not need to hear what you and Lena get up to out here." He rolled his eyes and grabbed a few balloons out of the package to start blowing up.

"Oh come on. We both know that's probably the most exciting thing you've heard recently." Sam scoffed and tied off the balloon before walking over and tossing it into the water of the large above ground pool they'd set up, even though Jake had insisted it was way too early in the season for it.

"Excuse me?! What exactly do you mean by that?" He said as he regarded his best friend with a glare.

"Come on dude. It's been like three freaking years, and you haven't gotten laid once." Sam pointed out and grabbed another balloon from the bag to begin blowing it up as Danny gaped at him.

"You don't know that." Danny said defensively as he threw the tied balloon into the pool.

"Seriously? We're best friends Daniel. If you're not in school, at the frat house, or with me, you're hiding in your apartment all alone. What gives?" Sam threw his now inflated balloon in the pool and instead of grabbing another, he sat on the porch step and patted the concrete next to him.

Danny glared at him for a minute longer while he finished blowing up the balloon, tying it off before throwing it in the pool as well.

"You know what gives, Sammy." He grumbled, throwing himself down on the step next to his friend.

"Still?" Sam raised a brow as he waited for Danny to answer.

"Yeah. I feel like it's never going to go away." He looked off into the yard that was sprung to life with green grass and a small vegetable garden that Sam himself had planted, saying something about it being good for the psyche or whatever.

"So, you still...?"

"Love him? Yeah. I do. " Danny scratched the back of his head and continued to avoid Sam's gaze though he could feel it burning into his skull.

"So, every time he ... "

"Yeah. It sucks.” He interrupted. "But you know... I can't say he didn't exactly warn me that that's what he was going to do. So, it's like I can't even really be mad at him."

"Just because he told you, doesn't mean you don't have a right to your feelings. You can be mad, sad, whatever. I mean I know if I had to witness the person I loved sleeping with other people right in front of me I'd probably go nuts." Sam was using that voice again. The one that he'd developed in the last few years while working on his psych degree. The one where it's calm and empathetic. It nearly unnerved Danny because it worked too well.

"Well yeah. I mean it's definitely been hard. And I have tried, you know. But whenever someone tries to talk to me or ask me out I just ... I can't. I don't know, that probably doesn't make any sense and I'm just being stupid"

"You're not being stupid Daniel. You still hold a candle for him. But the thing is, how long are you going to keep holding that candle? Eventually it's going to melt down and burn you." Sam nudged him with his shoulder and Danny smiled a little bit.

"If I could just blow it out and move on I would. But I just... Can't." Danny explained.

"Well ... Have you tried talking to him again? Maybe see if things are different now?” Sam suggested.

"No Sam. We barely talk as is, and I don't really want to put myself out there again to get hurt you know? I already did that once. I don't think I can do it again." Danny finally turned and met Sam's eyes which were lit up like clover honey under the late afternoon sun.

"So, what you're saying is, you'd give it a chance if he was the one who made the first move?" Sam asked, again raising that manicured brow.

"I mean yeah. I absolutely would. But I really don't see that happening." Danny replied.

Sam hummed in response, and they sat quietly for a moment before the sound of a doorbell alerted them to the arrival of guests.

"Well. Come on then. We have entertaining to do!" Sam smiled as he got up from the steps and brushed off his pants before heading up to the back door. Danny nodded and followed him inside.

𓇢𓆸

A couple hours into the party, the house was full of friends and family alike. Members of the fraternity showed up with cases of beer and seltzers, a few girls from Lena's sorority accompanied her and even the Kiszka brother's next-door neighbor showed up, bearing gifts for the twins.

Sam and Lena, as well as a couple others, had braved the cool water of the pool which was still not quite up to comfortable temperatures but, due to a couple of beers and shots, they could hardly tell a difference.

The boy's parents were currently flipping through baby books of Jake and Josh while the twins feigned embarrassment and Ronnie cackled.

That left Danny back on the step in front of the porch watching it all unfold.

"Danny! Get in here! Stop being a stick in the mud!" Sam yelled, which caused the other pool goers to erupt into pleas for him to jump in.

Danny simply rolled his eyes and stood up before kicking off his shoes and pulling off the shirt he'd changed into. He hadn't exactly planned on swimming, but anyone who knew Sam knew that he always seemed to get his way. So, Danny threw the shirt down on top of his shoes and began making his way to the pool amid the cheers and whistles coming from the swimmers.

He climbed the pool ladder and was beginning to step down into the water when he looked up and caught Josh very obviously looking over his bare torso before realizing that Danny was looking at him and met his eyes with a blush. Danny raised a brow at him but continued to get into the water as Josh quickly looked away.

"Hey buddy! Finally! About time you joined the party." Sam hollered bounding through the water towards him, carrying Lena like a backpack.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. " Danny huffed as he struggled to adjust to the cool temperature of the water.

"Hey Danny! How are you?" Lena smiled wide at him and raked her eyes over his half naked body just as Josh had done moments ago.

Lena had become another staple around the Kiszka house as she and Sam officially began dating around Valentine's Day the year after the fraternity New Years bash. Danny didn't mind her. She was a pretty cool girl, if not a little ditzy and maybe a bit on the promiscuous side. But Danny didn't fault her for that.

"Hey Lena, I'm pretty good. Cold now, but it's fine. How about you?" Danny responded as he watched Sam swish her back and forth slowly in the water, making her giggle.

"Oh, I'm good. You know, just working on that music degree. Say, how did you do on the final in Professor Reynolds class?" She asked and the conversation evolved into the topic of finals and grades and plans for the following year. Sam pitched in here and there but mainly just listened to their conversation.

Once the topic was exhausted and the silence set in, Lena excused herself from them with the intention of helping herself to some of the food set out. Danny watched as Sam eyed her figure when she pulled herself up the ladder and over the pool wall, her tiny red string bikini leaving almost nothing to the imagination.

𓇢𓆸

Jake had just finished dressing up his hot dog with all his favorite toppings when he saw Lena walking across the yard towards him.

He had gotten to know her a little over the years of her dating Sam, but she always seemed to rub him the wrong way. She was just so over the top and he didn't know how to respond to it. He tried his best to avoid eye contact as she came closer, even picking up his hot dog and making it about three quarters of the way to his mouth before Lena was standing right next to him. A little too close for comfort. He took a half step back as her generous bosom bumped against his elbow and made him pause mid bite.

"Hey Jakey." she cooed as she continued to invade his space.

"Oh, uh... Hey Lena..." He responded quietly, sighing as he set his hot dog back on his plate and she engaged him in an unwanted conversation.

"How have you been? I haven't seen you around very much!" She continued on in that flirty high-pitched voice while wrapping a piece of her hair around her finger.

"Oh uhm... Fine. Yeah, I've just been busy you know. School and ... Stuff " He didn't want to be rude to her, but he really did not want to be small-talking when he hadn't eaten since breakfast.

"Oh? Stuff huh? Is that code for a girl you've been seeing? I'm sure it's not. I never see you with anyone." She boldly pointed out.

Now Jake was annoyed by her prying into his personal life.

"No, if you must know. But then again I'm not sure exactly how you would've seen me with anyone when you barely see anything besides the sheets of my brother's bed." Jake said coldly.

She blinked in surprise but quickly recovered with a shake of her head.

Jake heard a choked laugh that was covered by a fake cough from somewhere behind him, which is when he recalled that there was a man at the table making his plate just a short distance away.

"Oh my gosh! Are those barbecue chips? I love barbecue chips! " Lena said excitedly and before Jake could stop her she'd reached up, snagged a chip off his plate and popped it into her mouth with a smirk. The smirk quickly evolved into an expression of exaggerated pleasure.

"Oh my…Mmm… So good." She moaned louder than was necessary.

Jake felt his mouth drop in shock.

She finished the chip with a few more small groans and then looked at him seductively.

"That was amazing. Ugh, reminds me of going to the lake. I am so glad you guys set up the pool because it gave me a chance to wear this swimsuit. Isn't it SO cute?" She giggled as she posed for him, making her breasts jiggle and then squish together when she changed positions.

"Uh... Yeah... It's great." Jake responded awkwardly, looking up to meet Sam's eyes who was eyeing the situation curiously.

"Do you go to the lake, Jake?" Lena asked with her overly sugary voice.

"Yeah, of course. We used to go quite often actually. " He told her, again trying to be polite but looking anywhere but directly at her.

"We should go sometime!" She suggested.

"Oh yeah that could be fun. Get all of us together, Danny and Sam and-"

"No." She cut him off. " Just us. " She said again in that seductive voice as she got closer to him once more and placed her hand on the center of his chest.

"Uh... " Jake stammered as his brain flatlined and he struggled to find the words to respond to her through his utter shock.

It was then that he heard a plate get thrown to the table and footsteps come up behind him quickly.

"Girl... " Came a warning voice to Jake's left. "Don't you have a man? Why don't you go to him and stop harassing Jake who is clearly not interested."

Kit. Jake recognized the voice now as he turned towards the man in the sage green dress shirt with his ginger hair in a slightly messy, curly, cropped cut. One of his finely manicured brows was cocked and his arms were crossed firmly over his chest.

Lena scoffed and regarded the man with a scowl.

"And you are?" She said arrogantly, dropping her hand to Jake's relief.

"Kit. Jake’s neighbor, and you're Lena. A girl clearly barking up the wrong tree. Seeing as you're currently hitting on your boyfriend's brother. So go on. Shoo." He responded and waved his hand in her direction dismissively.

She groaned in annoyance, rolled her eyes, and turned to stomp away from them.

Jake sighed and looked back down to his plate. The stress of that conversation had made him lose his appetite completely.

"Ugh. Just repulsive." Kit sighed and rolled his eyes just as she had.

Jake looked up at him, nodding in agreement. "Thanks Kit. She just... Doesn't know when to stop." He grumbled and set his plate down on the table.

"That's obvious. Hey, are you okay Jake? You haven't even eaten any of that.” He said, eyeing the man's untouched food.

" Yeah, well… Welcome to my life. " Jake mumbled and looked off towards the pool where Danny was currently chatting with friends. It was then that he noticed Sam's absence and looked around the yard for him.

He soon found Sam and Lena in the throes of a heated argument with lots of hand motions on her part.

Kit followed Jake's line of sight and chuckled. "I guess he wasn't too happy about that. Had to happen sometime I suppose."

"Yeah, I guess. Just bad timing." Jake grumbled and distracted himself by observing Kit's face.

He'd seen Kit plenty of times in the years they'd lived in the house. But he had never really noticed how attractive he was before. With pale porcelain skin, rosebud-colored lips, and sparkly blue green eyes. His jawline was sharp and nose cute and upturned. He knew Kit to be a few years older than him. Already out of college and working as a Kindergarten teacher.

"Hey Jake?" Kit's voice snapped him out of his reverie and made him blink a couple times, realizing that he'd been staring.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to get out of here? Maybe hit up IHOP or something?" He casually suggested.

Jake was a little surprised at the offer but one quick glance around the party and his mind was made up.

"Oh, hell yes." Jake beamed.

Kit smiled and reached over, taking Jake's hand in his own.

"Can I really leave my own party though?" He worried out loud.

"It's your party, you can leave if you want to!” Kit said in a singsong, playful way and pulled him towards the back door.

𓇢𓆸

The yelling steadily got louder until Lena was nearly screaming at Sam as he continued to talk to her with a calm demeanor though visibly upset.

The overall mood of the party had quickly shifted, and guests were beginning to gather their things and head for the door. Even the Kiszka's own family had given Josh their goodbyes and waved to Danny as he got out of the pool and dried off. As soon as they were gone, Danny realized that only he and Josh were left, besides the couple who were still currently going at it.

Danny looked around and saw that Josh had located a large trash bag and was starting to collect garbage and toss it in. He sighed quietly to himself before throwing his towel down on a chair and crossing the yard to where Josh was cleaning up. He grabbed half empty cans, dumping their remaining contents into the grass before crushing them in his hands. He’d gathered four or five before he approached Josh with them.

Josh saw him coming and held the bag open for him so he could throw them in. "Thanks. But you really don't have to help if you don't want to. You're a guest. "

Danny scoffed and started collecting more trash. "And it's your graduation party. So, I guess we're even." He gave him a shy smile and saw Josh return it apprehensively.

Together they cleaned up the yard, put the food away and broke down spare tables and chairs. At some point the yelling had stopped and Lena and Sam had gone into the house.

Josh sighed as silence filled the air "Thank goodness they're done. That was ridiculous."

"Yeah, they're definitely something else." Danny agreed as he plucked the balloons out of the pool and let the air out of them without causing a loud pop.

"So .... How have you been Danny? Is college treating you well?" Josh asked, grabbing the broom they used for the back porch and starting to sweep off the concrete.

"I'm good. College is great. I'm glad I decided to come. It's been a real adventure. I've learned a lot, experienced some stuff, and had a lot of fun." He responded, fishing yet another balloon out of the water.

" That's great. I'm so happy for you. I know Sam's been glad to have you around. Are you going to stay here after you graduate next year?" Josh continued sweeping the porch, keeping the conversation light.

"I don't know. It depends." He responded.

"On?" Josh inquired, halting his motions and turning to face Danny.

"If there's something worth staying for. Otherwise, there's a program that Jake and I have been looking at in Nashville that helps music majors find jobs in the industry. I might see if I can find a band to play with or an artist to support." Danny shrugged while he continued messing with the decorations.

There was a short moment of silence before Josh responded. "Oh. That's... Yeah. That's cool." He said slowly, looking down at his shoes.

Then finally Danny spoke up. "And you? What have you been up to?"

"Oh, you know. Same stuff. Glad to be done with school. Ready to actually get out there and start teaching some kids." Josh smiled up at him and then went back to sweeping the porch until it was nearly cleared.

Another long moment of silence in the freshly fallen night was broken by Danny's voice.

"So, Josh, did you get everything you wanted?" He asked, with extreme effort to keep his voice neutral.

Josh stopped again and looked up again to meet Danny's eyes with furrowed brows.

Danny prepared himself for the answer. Because if he said that yes, he in fact had. That would mean in Danny's mind that their ship had sailed and Josh had moved on. Left Danny completely behind in the pursuit of his own adventure. But if Josh said no? Well Danny wasn't sure exactly what that would mean.

Josh cleared his throat and looked off into the dark sky for a while before replying. "It wasn't all it was cracked up to be."

Danny met Josh's eyes with an expression of subdued surprise.

"Oh?" He inquired, curious to hear more from Josh in this first full conversation they'd had in years.

"Yeah. I-" he began but was quickly cut off by the sound of the back door opening and Sam stepping out onto the patio.

"Hey guys. What are we talking about?" Sam asked as he bounced down the stairs and approached them.

"Oh uhm, nothing much. I was just telling Josh that I think I'm going to head home now." Danny responded, reaching down to grab his discarded shirt from atop his shoes. Josh noticed that he grimaced as he picked it up. He saw Danny sigh, his head dropping in defeat. It was then that he noticed Danny's pallor and the blue twinge to his lips.

“Oh my god. Danny! Your lips are blue! Are you okay?” Josh dropped the broom and sprinted over to him, grabbing him by the face and forcing him to look up.

" Yeah, I'm just freaking cold, and my shirt is soaked.” He grumbled.

"Yeah... Sorry, I think that was Lena. You can borrow something from me?” Sam offered kindly.

Josh rolled his eyes and spoke up. "Come on Danny. I have something better.” He then turned to head in the house as Danny slid on his shoes and followed him inside.

Soon he found himself standing in the warm embrace that was Josh's room. He'd never been here before. Only seen glimpses as the door opened and closed. But he loved it. It felt like a genuine outward expression of the man in front of him who was currently rummaging through a pile of clothes on an antique wicker chair.

Danny took in all he could as he looked around. The room was bathed in the soft glow emanating from a few salt lamps and they illuminated various old movie posters framed on the walls and piles of books on all available surfaces. There were also a couple of very well taken care of plants by the window and a pretty backflow incense burner. The whole room smelled like a mixture of Nag Champa and cozy, earthy spices.

“Aha!" Josh announced as he pulled a shirt from the pile and held it up in victory. The garment was an off-white and had the name of an indie band emblazoned across the chest. Danny recognized it almost immediately.

“Is that…?” He questioned in disbelief, reaching out to take the fabric in his hands. The shirt was slightly more threadbare than when he'd last seen it, but it was still soft and in good condition though the design had faded some.

Josh looked a little nervous, if not kind of embarrassed as he nodded and quietly replied "Yeah”

"I wondered where this had gone. Why didn't you ever tell me you had it? I've been over here loads of times in the past three years Josh.” Danny inquired.

" Well... You left it here that morning after…yeah. I just… I don't know, held on to it. I guess I should have given it back before now. Sorry.” Josh scratched at the back of his neck and avoided eye contact with Danny, choosing to look at the floor instead.

Danny nodded and slipped the shirt over his head and sighed at the warmth of it. It smelled like Josh, and he found himself wondering how long that scent would last. He was about to speak when there was a light knock at the door.

Josh went to open it and the youngest of the brothers leaned against the frame looking at both of them curiously.

"You know, you're always welcome to stay here Daniel. There's a pull-out couch with your name on it." Sam smiled knowingly and Danny just rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm not doing that again okay? I'm going home. I'll see you guys later." Danny moved past Josh and gave him a small wave and a thanks before maneuvering around Sam and giving him a hug.

He walked across the living room around the aforementioned couch and pulled open the door, disappearing to the outside quickly.

They watched him leave silently and after the door closed Josh finally spoke up.

“So, is Lena gone?"

"Nah, she's asleep in my room." Sam replied, entering the room and taking a seat on the bed next to his brother.

Josh simply hummed in response. He knew chastising his brother for his choice in partners wouldn't help anything.

"So... You guys are talking again? You and Daniel?" Sam asked, leaning back on the bed and looking over at Josh.

"I mean we weren't ever not talking, really." Josh replied.

"Oh please, spare me. That's such bullshit and you know it. Did you forget I was there after you broke his heart, or?" He scoffed.

"I didn't do it on purpose okay!" Josh defended.

"Well, I know that. But you still did it, and bringing hookups around all the time didn't necessarily help matters either." It was obvious that Sam had no intention of letting him off the hook this time.

"Listen. I make no apologies for what I've done, okay? I did what I said I was going to do. I lived, I experienced, I grew. Danny gets that." He enforced, standing his ground.

"He might, yeah. But he still loves you. You know that don't you?" Sam asked rhetorically.

Josh's heart dropped when he realized that Sam didn't say "loved", he said "loves".

Danny loves him?

"I ... " Josh struggled to find the words to respond but Sam knew what he wanted to say.

"I know." He nodded.

"You do?"

"Well yeah. I mean we might not be twins, but I'm still your brother. I can read a room. I see how you look at him. You don't look at someone like that if you don't love them. Also you squirreled away that damn shirt for three years. Normal people don't do that." Sam gave a small smile and Josh nodded solemnly, confirming his assessment.

"How long?" He asked after a moment.

"A while. I mean I knew I liked him as more than a friend for a bit. But I didn't really realize that I... Love him .. until I saw him leaving the driveway on New Year's Day.” He breathed out before continuing, "But by then I'd already fucked everything up and decided I wanted the full college experience more than Danny and it was too late. The damage was done. " Josh confessed.

"It's not too late though." Sam encouraged.

"What do you mean?" He asked, confused and wondering what it was that Sam knew, and he didn't.

"Well, I think you need to try. If you still want this, then you need to be the one to instigate it this time. Pursue him.” the younger man advised.

Josh considered this for a moment before the realization struck him and he chuckled.

"You know it's funny that you're sitting in here giving me advice on my love life when yours is currently a shit show." Josh said with a raise of his brow and another sarcastic laugh.

" Wow, okay. I'm just trying to help. But whatever, you do you. " Sam said as he got up from the bed without another word and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Josh sat there a moment longer in the still silence listening to Sam's door close, and the loud giggles start.

He stood and quickly shed his clothes before climbing into his bed amongst the fluffy blankets. He then grabbed his phone from the side table and opened up the Instagram app where typed Danny's name into the search bar and smiled to himself when it came up and showed they were still mutuals.

He scrolled back to the last post he remembered seeing of Danny's and started going through them all slowly until he was caught up. He saw clips of him playing various instruments, sometimes even singing a cover. He took beautiful pictures of scenery and of plants and animals, each captioned with a lovely lyric from a song or a quote from a book or film.

He felt like he'd missed so much in just three years. How much more time did he really want to miss without Danny by his side? Maybe Sam was right. Maybe he should flip the script and be the pursuer this time.

He gave it a little more thought before he made up his mind.

He was going to fix this.

𓇢𓆸

It was early on Sunday morning when Josh was woken to loud raps on his bedroom door and his twin poking his head in.

"Hey, are you awake?" Jake asked as he observed Josh in his freshly woken state.

"Well, I am now. What do you want Jake?" He grumbled, throwing an arm over his eyes to try and hide from the sunlight.

Jake let out a little snort and came in the room completely, throwing himself down on the bed next to his brother.

"Well, you know Kit?" Jake asked, even though he knew that it was a stupid question.

"Yeah, I know Kit. Our neighbor that you snuck off with last night without even telling me hi, bye, or fuck you." Josh dramatically threw his arm off his eyes and across the pillow beside him.

"That's the one. Well, he asked me to go to the farmers market this morning and I really want to go." Jake said excitedly but Josh knew he was up to something.

"Okay? So, go. Why are you in here bugging me? I'm not mom, you don't have to ask me for permission."

"Well... I'm kind of nervous to go alone so I was wondering if you might come with me?" Jake asked with a hint of desperation as he chewed his bottom lip.

"Why don't you ask Sam and Lena to go with you?" Josh sighed as he sat up on his elbows and looked Jake in the eyes.

"Tried. They already have plans today, and Lena kind of freaks me out. Please Josh? You could even see if Danny could come along? Sam told me that you guys were talking again." Jake said and gave him a tiny smile.

"Did he now?" He asked, not surprised by his little brother's loose lips.

"Yeah, and if I know you. Which I do. You've finally pulled your head out of your ass and you're actually being his friend again.” Jake incorrectly assessed.

Josh sighed, but didn't correct him. "Yeah, okay, fine. I'll go. Let me send Danny a text to see if he's free."

Josh knew a wide smile had taken over Jake's face as he jumped up off the bed in victory.

"Yeah, yeah. Now get out of my room." Josh huffed as he grabbed his phone from his nightstand and turned over on his side, away from Jake.

𓇢𓆸

About an hour later Danny had joined them at their house and they were all sitting in the living room waiting for Kit to come to the door. Danny and Jake were on the couch while Josh sat on the recliner and flipped through the channels on TV. Currently Jake was looking through the curtains and out the window towards Kit's house.

"Jake, get away from the window. He's going to see you and think you're weird." Josh scolded him playfully.

Jake glared at him for a minute and then went back to looking out the window until he suddenly jumped up.

"He's walking over." He said, his voice shooting up an octave.

"Jeez Jake, calm down. I've never seen you so hyped up. It's freaking me out. " Danny remarked sarcastically as Jake gave him a death glare.

"Oh, shut up will you." Jake shot back while he paced back and forth.

"Do you have something you wish to tell us, Jake? " Josh asked with a grin.

Jake let out an annoyed groan that was cut off by a succession of sharp knocks at the front door.

There was a moment of silence before Josh spoke up.

"You uh... You gonna get that Jake? " he asked, watching Jake stare at the door.

"Right! Yes." Jake scrambled towards the door and threw it open to reveal Kit.

He had a sweet smile on his face and his eyes lit up as he took in Jake's flushed cheeks and wide eyes.

"Hey Jake. Are you guys ready to go?" He said in his charming cadence, a wide smile showing off his straight pearly teeth.

Jake struggled to find the words to respond as he took in Kit's appearance. He was dressed casually in a pair of loose light wash denim jeans, a white sleeveless muscle shirt with a light-colored striped button up over it and slightly hanging off one shoulder. The outfit was finished off with a pair of plain black and white converse.

Josh rolled his eyes and bounded up behind his twin.

"Yes, we're ready to go. Aren't we Jake?" He said, putting his hands on Jake's shoulders and shaking him slightly.

This snapped Jake out of his stupor, and he finally opened his mouth. "Yes! Yep. I'm ready. Let's go!" He waved over to Danny for him to follow and they headed outside.

Once they were out on the lawn and walking towards Kit's house, they noticed a car they didn't recognize in his driveway.

It was a beautiful classic muscle car from the late 60s or early 70s if Josh had to guess. Its light blue paint shimmering in the morning sun. Kit walked over to unlock the doors and push down the seat so Josh and Danny could climb in the back.

"Sorry, it's kind of a tight fit for you Danny." He said as he regarded Danny's long legs.

"It's cool. I'm used to it. This is a beautiful car. What is it?" He asked, buckling in.

"It's a 1966 Mustang Shelby GT350 convertible. It belonged to my grandfather. He left it to me when he passed." Kit said while he pulled the seat back up and got in as well.

Jake got in on the passenger side and also buckled in.

"How come we haven't seen it before? " Jake asked curiously.

"I usually keep it covered in the garage. Only really bring it out for special occasions. " He winked at Jake then put the key in the ignition and fired the car up. It growled to life and Josh felt chills shoot up his spine.

𓇢𓆸

When they arrived at the farmers market and were able to locate parking, they realized that these markets were much bigger than the ones back home in Frankenmuth.

There were a great variety of local vendors with their own tents and set ups on the lawn and there were also some bigger tents set up off to the side where it looked like they were having workshops.

Jake and Kit walked in front of them down the aisles of small shops and peeked into each one that they found of some interest.

Josh and Danny hadn't really said much to each other since Danny had arrived at the house, and even then, it was just small talk.

Josh cleared his throat and turned to look at Danny as they stopped behind their companions who were currently looking at a shop of small crochet animals of varying shapes and sizes.

"Thanks for coming today." Josh said, watching as Danny turned to look back at him.

"Oh, you're welcome. I've been here a few times before. It's really cool." Danny gave him a smile and went to go look at a plush animal in the shape of a possum.

"Oh yeah? You just come here alone? " Josh asked out of curiosity.

"Hmm? Oh, no. There's some girls from my classes that like to come out here and get stuff so sometimes I'd give them a ride and check things out." He picked up the animal and turned it over in his hand before putting it back down on the table and going to look at a different one.

"Oh, that's cool. Kind of like... A date? " Josh inquired quietly.

Danny's brows furrowed and he looked up at Josh. "Not really, no. Just doing a friend a favor."

Josh could have smacked himself in the face for that one.

They soon left the tiny shop after Kit had picked out a pink axolotl and purchased it. He placed it lovingly in his canvas tote bag that was slung over his shoulder and then they were strolling through the booths again.

The group didn't get far before Jake had them stopped at a leatherwork shop.

They perused the various goods, and Jake found a small wallet with an emblazoned moon on the cover that he seemingly couldn't live without. He paid cash for it and slipped it into his pocket.

When they left this booth Josh noted that Kit had slid his hand into Jake's and their fingers were now entwined between them as they walked. It made Josh smile as warmth flooded his chest.

"They're cute, aren't they?" Danny said just loud enough so that only Josh could hear him.

"So cute. Jake seems really taken with him." He replied, watching as Kit led his brother to a booth selling old fashioned sodas.

"He does. I hope things go well for them. Jake deserves to be happy. You both do." He stated as he continued to observe the couple while they ordered their drinks and Jake insisted on paying.

"He does. You do too, Danny." Josh pointed out.

Danny hummed in response and motioned towards the booth, indicating for Josh to order.

He ordered a black cherry soda and Danny ordered a sarsaparilla. Right as Josh was about to pull out his wallet, Danny slapped down a twenty-dollar bill. Once he received his change and shoved a tip in their jar, he handed Josh his drink and then grabbed his own and began sipping on it lightly.

"That's so good. How's yours?" Danny asked him.

"Delicious. Do you... Want to try it?"

"Sure! Here, you can try mine too. Warning, it's a bit of an acquired taste." Danny said as he handed over the drink and took Josh's from him.

They both sipped at each other's drink and then observed the opposite person's face for their reaction. Danny's expression was of delight, while Josh's was of utter disgust. He quickly swallowed the mouthful and then shoved the drink back into Danny's hands and took his own, slurping at it greedily.

Danny full belly laughed and threw his head back while Josh glared at him.

"That is horrible!" Josh complained and Danny tried to reign in his laughter.

When Josh finally got over his dramatic reaction to the drink he looked up and realized that Jake and Kit were gone from their sight.

"Well, I guess it's just us now." Danny shook his head.

"Yeah... Sorry." Said Josh, not really sure what exactly he was apologizing for.

"Why are you sorry? I don't mind spending time with you Josh. Come on, there's something over here that I think you might like." Danny smiled and turned around, heading in a different direction than they were initially going. Josh quickly caught up to him and walked by his side.

They passed a few booths selling fresh eggs, vegetables, fruits and honey as well as some selling handmade aprons and blankets. Eventually they ended up at the larger tents on the edge of the market where it looked like they were hosting crafting classes. Danny quickly walked up to the instructor and before Josh could interject, he pulled some cash from his wallet and handed it to the small girl who had faux elf ears and a circlet of intertwined leaves and flowers on her head. She nodded and reached behind her, grabbing a couple boxes and handed them to Danny. She pointed to the various tables with flowers, leaves, herbs, decorations, and charms on it. He watched Danny nod and then turn back to walk the short distance to him.

"Here." Danny handed him one of the boxes, Josh took it and looked over the box emblazoned with "crown kit" in permanent marker and the name of the small business on a sticker in the center.

"Uhm. Thank you? Danny what...?" Josh asked shyly and looked up at him through his lashes.

"I thought you might enjoy it. Come on. I think she's about to start the class." He gave Josh a cute smile and turned back to the tent, going to one of the unoccupied tables. Josh paused for a second while he took in the sweet gesture and then followed him inside to the table.

It turned out that the girl was a pretty good instructor and the instructions on how to make your own flower crown were pretty simple to follow.

Josh's crown was made up of desert sage, white daisies, and baby's breath. He'd barely paid attention to what Danny was doing with his own crown as he was so focused on putting together his own. When it was done it was a very pretty, but simple wreath that he hoped would naturally dry and stay together.

When he was finished, he turned towards Danny who was putting the finishing touches on his own crown. He observed the waxy green leaves arranged neatly into a circlet and the small golden accents.

"Danny, is that...?" He asked curiously.

"It's a laurel crown. I- I read that the Ancient Greeks used to wear them to signify triumph. I thought it might be kind of fitting for you since you know... You graduated a couple days ago." He said and then turned to place the crown around the back of Josh's head and situate it up over his ears.

"You made this... For me?" Josh said nervously as he reached up to touch the leaves.

"Yeah. I thought you’d like it." He smiled and took out his phone. "Can I?" He gestured to his phone as if asking if he could take a picture.

"Yeah. Only if I can have one of you too." Josh stood up on his tip toes and placed the crown he made on Danny's head and took a moment to situate it nicely amongst the man's much more defined and silky curls.

"There. Perfect." Josh smiled once he was done and back on the flats of his feet.

He stood back a bit and let Danny take a picture of him. Then he pulled out his own phone and snapped one of Danny too.

They showed each other their photos and giggled. Then the instructor announced the ending of the class, and they all began to pack up and head out of the tent.

They were quiet again as they walked together through the shops.

"Hey, do you want to grab some food and find a place to sit?" Danny asked, looking over at Josh who nodded happily in agreement.

They quickly found a stand selling burritos and ordered a couple. Once their food was in hand, they searched for an open space on the lawn to eat. They found themselves a large tree to sit under in the shade and enjoyed their burritos in silence.

"You know... I missed this." Josh said, not looking up from his food.

"Missed what?" Danny raised a brow and looked up at him.

"This. Us. You." Josh blushed suddenly realizing what he'd just said.

"I missed you too." Danny gave him a shy little smile and went back to eating.

"Hey Danny, do you uhm-"

Josh was cut off by the sound of Kit's voice yelling out to them as they approached. "Hey guys! We wondered where you had gone!"

Josh looked up and saw the couple approaching, still hand in hand but Kit's tote was significantly fuller, and Jake's cheeks were pink. He also sported a new bracelet around his wrist that Josh noticed immediately.

"Hey guys. Did you have fun?" Danny asked once they were close enough.

"Loads. Josh, your brother is so sweet. Look at these!" Kit said excitedly and reached into his tote and pulled out a small bouquet of colorful flowers wrapped up in brown butcher paper and twine. "He picked out all of the flowers himself!" He nearly squealed as he handed them over and Josh inspected it closely before letting Danny take a look.

"That's so cute Jake." Josh said as he looked up to his twin whose cheeks were now turning more crimson.

Jake grumbled a thanks and scratched the back of his head. Kit took the flowers back and placed them in his tote carefully.

"So, are you guys ready to go, or was there more you wanted to see?" Kit asked them both.

"I'm ready if you are." Josh said to Danny though he really wished he had more time with him.

"Yeah, I'm good." Danny replied and he stood up and reached a hand out to help pull Josh to his feet. Once they were both standing, Josh didn't let go of Danny's hand. Choosing instead to hold on to it and give it a light reassuring squeeze.

Danny's brows furrowed a little as he looked from their hands to Josh's face, but he said nothing. Josh smiled and then looked over to Kit who was currently observing Jake's profile. He changed his gaze to look at his brother who was staring him down with burning eyes and a clenched jaw.

Josh thought it was a little strange, but he pushed the thought to the back of his mind and followed when Kit pulled Jake in the direction of the parking lot.

𓇢𓆸

When they arrived back at Kit's house, Danny and Josh said goodbye quickly and headed over to Danny's car while Jake said his goodbyes.

They watched the two interact as Kit pulled his bag of farmers market items from the trunk and then shut it. Kit stood with the bag slung over his shoulder and leaned against the car. They were clearly talking but neither Josh nor Danny could hear what they were saying.

Finally, they saw Jake reach for Kit's hand with his own. He cradled it gently before bringing the man's hand to his lips. The kiss lasted just a couple seconds before Jake looked back up at Kit through his lashes and said his final goodbye and then walked toward their house. He waved goodbye to Danny and headed inside.

Josh turned his attention back to Danny once Jake was gone.

"Thank you for coming today. It was really good to spend time with you again." He told him.

"Of course. It was really fun. Don't forget to hang that crown so it dries properly." Danny smiled and touched the leaves of the crown with his fingertips.

"I won't. Do you think maybe we could do this again sometime? Just us?" Josh asked, even though his voice cracked with nerves.

"Go to the farmers market?"

"Well sure, but I meant just... Hang out. The two of us." He had to really pull all his confidence when he said it as the fear of rejection looked over him like a cloud threatening rain.

Danny was quiet for a moment as he looked over Josh's face with surprise.

"I'd like that." He finally said, giving Josh a smile.

"Great! I'll text you?" Josh offered, giddiness filling his chest as the metaphorical rain cloud disappeared.

"Sounds good. See you later Josh. " Danny pulled open the door to his car, climbed in and started it up. He looked up at Josh and gave him a wink then pulled the door shut.

Josh walked over to the sidewalk and waved as he pulled onto the street and drove away.

𓇢𓆸

Taglist: @gracev0609

Let me know if you'd like to be added :)

[loemius]

31. What post have you seen recently that makes you wanna scream lmao <3

oh boy youre asking me for the spicy hot takes tonight huh. i am always happy to deliver <3 i dont want to put anyone in particular on blast so ill refrain from mentioning specific posts, but i do find that a lot of content lately in the helpol sphere has been very... surface level. a lot of moodboards, a lot of basics, 101 level content, stuff like 'the gods love you!!'. which isn't inherently a bad thing whatsoever. there is a need for that kind of content! however, i've also noticed in my 2 years on helpol tumblr that a lot of the reconstructionist blogs and informative blogs that i used to follow have either went inactive or deactivated entirely. and i can't help but wonder why this is. i think there's a lot of reasons for it: frustration with the shallowness of content leading to people going off and becoming more solitary practitioners, the more you grow in your practice the less compelled you may become to share it, but also i think a lot of people use tumblr and people's ask boxes as a search engine and that leads to a lot of burnout. it certainly did for me -- i took a hiatus from posting for a long time because i wasn't in a place to educate people. it's a lot of pressure, especially on tumblr where it feels like people will jump down your throat if you're incorrect about things or you suddenly become an Authority that people look up to when youre just a person. people who were posting really helpful and informative content about the theoi simply arent here anymore, and i really think the community's gravitation towards easily consumable content and reliance on people to do research for them is a large part of this. i realize not everyone is recon, which is very much okay, although i personally love being recon. that being said, i still think you should do your best to do your research and understand where these ideas come from. they didn't appear out of thin air -- mediterranean culture is very much alive still and is a continuation of the ancient world, and to not acknowledge or understand it is disrespectful to both the cultural context of the theoi and mediterranean people whose culture we claim to revere. i don't expect everyone to become an academic or a classicist. its not accessible to everyone for a variety of reasons, but i do think like. checking out some of the primary sources in a way thats accessible for you or picking one really good book to really deep dive into would benefit a lot of people. basically, i just wish i saw more in depth posts and people engaging on a deeper level with their faith and being willing to post it so we can have more discussions as a community and grow together. helpol is unique among other polytheistic religions because we have a wealth of primary sources available to us, and that isn't always the case for other polytheistic religions. i think it's... honestly kind of sad that we don't really talk about them. its not that i dont want to see peoples upg or that i dont think there should be posts for beginners, because there is a place for it and i enjoy that content too, but i wish there was more variety in the kinds of posts we have in the community. i miss the days when the tags were full of people writing their own prayers or people talking about a new source they read and what they thought, or compiling something for their own practice and being willing to share it with the community. i guess this is my sign to get back to posting my own original content and make the kind of content i want to see in hopes it'll encourage others to do the same. anyway i got on my little soapbox about this and its time for me to hop off before i hit character limit (again lmao). thank you so much for this ask, this was really refreshing and cathartic for me to talk about. may the gods bless you with health, happiness, and love always <33

[imabillyami]

can you pleaseeeee do me a no.2 with my men. pleaseeee babe

You know how much I love writing this particular rarepair, especially if I get to write them for you 💕

You ask and I shall deliver. Simple as that. Also tagging @crxssjae and @dontletme--cavein cause I remember you enjoyed this ship in the past!

-> Once again for this challenge, which I'm still taking requests for.

--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--

Prompt: this was a mistake

(JimmyKev, 613 words, mature)

“Ugh this was such a mistake.” 

He’s still breathing hard, coming down from what had been an earth-shattering orgasm only a minute ago. That is, if he’s being totally honest with himself - which - as per usual - he’s not. 

An equally out of breath chuckle from next to him “Yup.” 

Of course. In typical Kevin-fashion he isn’t bothered by this at all. Always hung up on and exploding over the tiniest and most insignificant things, but when it came to the most glaring issues, he’d just shrug, possibly laugh it off, and move right along, acting completely indifferent.

Of course this had to be one of those instances. 

It started out easily enough.

Like the two childish hotheads they continuously proved themselves to be, they’d gotten into another squabble with each other. 

And, like the two very functional adults constantly failed to be, they went with the only logical solution and banged it out. Quick and dirty and surprisingly good and addicting. 

After all, all that tension was too good to go to waste, and hate sex was better than no sex at all, right? 

Right? 

Well, now that he’s coming down from the high and living in the aftermath of their stupid decision, he isn’t so sure about that anymore. 

“Relax, I can hear you thinking from all the way over here.” They’re both still flat on their backs, a good bit of distance between their bodies, staring at the ceiling, not daring to look at each other. 

He’s honestly surprised that Kevin is even still here. He fully expected him to be the fuck n’ run type. Apparently he clocked that one wrong though. He’s trying very hard not to think about what this means.

“This shoulda never happened!” He can feel the panic rise inside of him. Oh god, what if anyone finds them out? What if Kevin, the smug and angry and impulsive asshole that he is, uses this against him for all the world to hear? For his family to hear?

All it takes is one scathing promo and he’s ruined forever. Fuck, yeah. This was a total mistake. How could he ever-? 

Before he knows what’s happening, Kevin’s face appears above him and a hand firmly grabs his chin, forcing Jimmy to look at him. 

“Hey. Hey! Relax, okay? Nobody’s gonna know. I won’t tell anyone. You won’t tell anyone. It’s fine!” He says it with such conviction that Jimmy is almost willing to believe him. Almost. 

He still thinks this is his biggest fuck-up to date and that it’ll come back to bite him in the ass. More importantly though, right this second? 

He’s distracted all over again by the close proximity of their faces, more specifically their mouths, just like he’d been earlier. He can still taste Kevin on his lips if he tries. So against better judgment, bringing his tongue out to his bottom lip, that’s exactly what he does.

And while this is still a very very bad idea, the longer he stares at the other man’s lips, the more he wonders if Kevin would wanna do it again. After all, the damage is done already. Might as well. 

And as if he’s suddenly gained the magical power to read Jimmy’s mind, the look on Kevin’s face changes, his eyes getting back that inciting fire in them that had gotten them into this mess in the first place. 

Surprisingly enough he’s the one to ask “Hey… so, uh. You wanna go again?” 

Instead of granting him an answer, Jimmy quickly surges up to connect their lips, the arousal in his gut already spreading like wildfire again.

He thinks that’s a good enough answer anyway.

[azriel-scum]

It wasn't supposed to be this way - Part 2

Hi hey hello! Part 2 is here! I'm worried that there are some inconsistencies from part 1 to part 2 and if there are certain things that don't add up. I wanted to get this out, but I'm also considering going back to revise both parts to make sure it flows!

This is my first time actually posting fanfiction, I've been reading it for as long as I can remember and writing here and there, but I feel like I'm still trying to nail down my writing style. I might make some minor changes, but I'm very much open to any feedback!

Warnings: Domestic abuse

Tags: @littleffawn, @frogsandhomicidalducks

Walking with her head low, Elara neared the center of the city.

It was heartbreaking to walk through the city this way - actively trying to avoid everyone, trying to not be recognized.

Velaris meant a lot to everyone in the inner circle and Elara would never try to claim that it meant more to her than anyone else. All of them would unquestionably lay down their lives to protect this place - Gods Rhysand had done just that - had experienced something worse than death for fifty years straight.

At the risk of being too self important, some days she felt like Rhysand was the only person who could truly relate to how she felt about how deeply her soul was intertwined to this city. The fae who lived here, their families, their stories. It wasn't just that - it was the priestesses in the library, it was the Illyrian warriors who had been outcasts of the camps, and all of the other souls this city has taken in.

Having to hide herself away from the citizens of the city, sneak around to hide a dark and twisted secret, being too ashamed to show her face - was truly heartbreaking to her. It affected her in a way that most would never understand. She ached to describe this feeling to someone, to unload the heavy mass of shame she was carrying, but who could she possibly tell?

Rhysand was the closest thing she had to an older sibling, he understood the way she grew up and where she came from, understood how much this city meant to her and above all else, truly understood the burden of having others rely on you to perform and deliver what was needed of you.

Rhysand's inner circle were trusted individuals, they were competent - they did what needed to be done and they rarely, if ever, let themselves slip away from that. How could he continue entrusting her with the city if Elara couldn't even be trusted with making the right decisions about her personal life?

Somedays it felt like the shame she carried was more visible than any bruise Merikh could've ever given her.

She neared her mother's house, somewhere she had once loved, a place that once represented freedom and new beginnings, now a house of looming death.

There was a group of young Fae walking on the other side of the road, bright eyed and eager, Elara looked up and smiled at them out of habit. One of her most favorite things to do was visit the schools in Velaris as often as she could. For a moment she foolishly forgot about being on guard, and wistfully thought about what it would be like to hit a reset button, to have developed differently, to give the chemicals in her brain a second chance. To be a young female again, bright eyed and eager about the world.

From behind her, a steady and authoritative male voice spoke with the calmness and respect that only a trained and diplomatic soldier can master.

"Governess"

Her back straightened at the exact same moment that her heart stopped beating. Slowly, she turned around, because what other choice did she have?

As she turned around, the male's head was still ducked into a bow and Elara had a fleeting thought - this was the one millisecond she had before he would see the state of her neck and face, the very last moment before she would have to come up with some kind of explanation. As the male raised his head to look her she ducked her head briefly as a sign of respect, never quite used to having people bow to her and never wanting to leave it unanswered.

Raising her head to look at the male, she recognized him as being a spy from the night court, one of Azriel's trusted soldiers.

"Sylas," she greeted him with a smile, lest he sense anything amiss with her, "to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I've just returned from a mission and was walking through the city. I saw you from across the way and thought I would say hello," His tone was easy and he was smiling, but Elara was keenly aware of him cataloging her appearance.

Quick on your feet Elara

"Well that makes two of us, I've just returned to the city and was paying my mother a visit," the lie slipped out easily and much more naturally than she could've hoped for. "I trust I'll be hearing about your travels and the state of Prythian soon." Elara received weekly reports, occasionally from Azriel, but more often than not he was away and the report came from one of his spies.

Sylas nodded affirmatively and replied "I look forward to hearing about your mission as well," pointedly, he looked at the bruises on her face, "I'd hate to see what your opponent looks like."

Elara's heart dropped and her anxiety spiked, but ever the composed warrior she simply gave Sylas a conspiratorial smile and wink.

"I'll see you at our next meeting, take care of yourself, Sylas"

He briefly bowed his head one final time and with that he was off.

fuck. fuck. fuck.

What were the odds a spy trained to work under Azriel himself didn't see straight through that entire interaction?

Elara wouldn't bet anything valuable on it. She just hoped he had enough discretion to keep his mouth shut.

With her face bruised, her heart pounding and her head held high she entered her mother's house.

She opened the door to good natured chaos.

Endor and Elvira had music playing through the house and they were dancing in the living room - trying and failing - to spin each other around. Her mother was sitting up in her recliner, laughing, a rare but golden sight to see.

For a brief moment, Elara stood at the door, her family not quite noticing her yet and she smiled, a glimpse of the version of her family without the abuse and the hardship.

Her brother twirls Elvira around and as she turns she catches a glimpse of Elara standing at the door.

"Ellie!! What are you doing here?" her sister runs across the room, but stops halfway, "what happened to see your face?"

Ellie offered her a simple sheepish shrug and said simply "duty called again."

Elvira laughed and hugged her, Endor gave her a fist bump, and her mother just shook her head and smiled.

A wave of shame crashed over her.

Her job obviously required that she be diplomatic and act with discretion, if that meant lying or being a little manipulative, so be it - but this kind of behavior had never infiltrated to her personal life, to her personal relationships.

Elara had perfected the art of compartmentalizing quite a few hundred years ago - and she shoved this feeling into dungeon cell in the depths of her brain and stored it under lock and key.

Her siblings had already gone back to dancing and her both motioned to the seat beside her.

For the next few hours they laughed and talked, her and her brother cooked lunch, and they sat around her mother, just being in her presence.

A good reminder for Elara that she needed to do this more often.

The music had been stopped for a while, Laurel had dozed off and Endor had gone to train with some friends. The two sisters were sitting out in the backyard and it was nice - there were so many things Elara wanted to discuss with her - the state of relationship, her mother, Elvira's future and a number of other things that could and should be address but it all felt too heavy to bring up now.

Sitting out in the sun made Elara feel much better, her wings felt less sore and when she had looked in the mirror earlier, the bruises were mostly faded, the accelerated healing finally starting to kick in. She had barely thought about Merikh since being here; her mind wouldn't allow her to out of pure preservation. She did allow her mind to wonder where he was, if he had returned to their apartment, if she should go back there and if he would be in a good mood if she did.

Without warning, there was a knock on her mental shields. Elara immediately recognized it as being Rhysand. Immediately, she opened a small sliver of her mind.

"El, come to House of Wind as soon as possible. No immediate threat to the city, but we have intel that needs to be discussed."

She responded affirmatively and stood up. "Sorry little sis, duty is calling. Tell Mom and Enny I'll be back sometime this week, I love you."

Her sister, as the rest of her family, was used to her having to dash off for various reasons with little to no warning. She simply nodded and Elara was off.

She flew over the city to the house, wings sore and mind heavy. Elara allowed herself for just a moment to consider her current situation and what she would do.

Leaving. Leaving was the only option. She knew that, had for some time.

She arrived to the house and was immediately greeted by Feyre.

"I know I said we wouldn't bother you, I'm terribly sorry."

Elara shook her head and smiled duty calls.

She followed Feyre into the dining room. Rhysand was sat at the head of the table, Cassian was standing at his side energy buzzing through him and Azriel was sat slightly off to the side shrouded in shadows; Amren and Mor sat toward the middle of the rectangular table. Elara recognized a few of Azriel's spies and a few of Cassian's soldiers.

She scanned around the rest of the table and had to physically restrain herself from reacting. Merikh sat at the other end of the table speaking with Sylas, Azriel's spy whom she had crossed paths with earlier in the day. Her heart started to race, but she made a conscious effort to slow it down, lest she spread a scent of fear or anxiety throughout the room.

Rhysand looks up to see his Governess entering the room his eyes glaze over ever so slightly and he spoke to her mind.

Sylas went out to the northern steppes this morning. We had heard word of an errant camp leader that had moved his people closer to the mountain, he's amassed a larger group under his lead and he's been conducting some very concerning drills and shows of strength.

It was not unusual for Illyrian camp leaders to be causing unrest. While Elara herself was not directly responsible for this area, it was very pertinent that she was made aware of disruptions or possible sources of conflict. Usually, though it would not have required an emergency meeting.

Rhys must have sensed Elara's slight confusion and he continued his explanation.

Of course, as you know, these kinds of things aren't unusual. Sylas came back and gave report, we weren't particularly concerned, but Azriel heard one of the names of the Illyrians and recognized him as being a citizen of Velaris.

An active member of the camp or a hostage? That felt like a ridiculous question, but the whole scenario was borderline unbelievable. Neither option seemed realistic, but how else would a citizen of Velaris join a camp in the Illyrian steppes. Why else?

It seems he is an active member by choice. How or why he got out there I'm really not sure. We have Merikh monitoring the situation, but of course it's something to keep an eye on. We can't have them recruiting people out of Velaris.

Certainly not.

She turned around to the rest of the room. Merikh was trying to make eye contact with her, she could feel a little bit of his anxious energy. Maybe he was trying to gauge her thoughts, figure out how volatile she was feeling. In their home, Merikh might have the power over her, but in this house and with these people, Merikh was lucky to have even found someone to take the time to bring him up to the meeting room.

Rhys nodded toward her. Your meeting Elara Starlight, we follow your lead.

She made eye contact with Azriel and Cassian, smiling to acknowledge them. Cassian smiled back, Azriel simply nodded. There was something about his silent acknowledgement that gave her a boost of confidence.

Addressing the room she asked, "what do we know about the citizen of Velaris? How could he have gotten to the steppes?"

Sylas opened his mouth to speak, after getting a small go ahead gesture from Azriel, but Merikh was quicker.

"I believe he was frustrated with the lack of opportunity here, there have been a lot of changes and there's no place for a male like him anymore. He seems like a restless male that would've been better suited for the Illyrian lifestyle. If he fits better there, why would we bring him back?"

Elara couldn't find a way to respond to that without blasting him out of his seat, so she simply stayed silent and turned toward Sylas.

He ducked his head toward her, "Governess, I can't say why he joined, but I do believe that the leader of this particular camp is ramping up his recruiting efforts. He's very eager to grow his numbers and spread his message."

Azriel added in "We will be running missions through that region regularly and making contact with leaders and members. I feel we should have extra boots on the ground here in order to ensure we're not losing anymore of our citizens to this cause."

"I'll speak to my contacts throughout the city to see if I can better understand the situation and will of course report back. Azriel, we'll be in touch about missions and Sylas," she turned to the spy, "I might pull you in for some intel gathering around the city and I would like to go out to the Illyrian steppes to see it for myself." Elara hadn't been out to Illyria in quite some time, she was not necessarily eager, but there a was a threat to be handled and she knew she needed to be out there.

Elara opened her mouth to ask Cassian a question about the Illyrian soldiers and if there were any grumblings across their ranks but Merikh stood up before she could get the words out.

Her anxiety spiked and dread overwhelmed her. If it was possible to die of second hand embarrassment, Elara's death would be the most eminent it ever had them.

"Now hold on, I'm the emissary between these lands, I should be the one to go. I would not need an spy escort to make sure I'm not raped and maimed for a simple visit. We've already lost a citizen to their groups, it doesn't -"

"If the governess wishes to visit the Steppes, I will see to it that she makes the visit." Azriel spoke with such finality that everyone was quiet for several moments.

Rhsyand had been quiet for the majority of the conversation and he was now carefully and silently considering Merikh.

Elara stood there in silent shame. How horrible was it to have your partner speak of you in that way in front of the High Lord and inner circle. How was she ever meant to be taken seriously?

Feyre, Elara do you believe we're done here? Rhysand asked mind to mind. Elara indicated it was and Feyre agreed.

"We will continue to monitor the situation and take the next steps we've decided on."

With Rhysand's dismissal, everyone stood from the table, some hanging around to talk, others laughing about their days; the serious events from the meeting almost entirely forgotten.

Elara walked down the hallway to pop into her office, while she didn't work out of it often, there was some paperwork and letters she wanted to retrieve. As she opened the door, she heard footsteps behind her and immediately knew it was Merikh. Before she could decide on what to do he had a grip on her forearm and was in her face.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Elara opened her mouth to respond and he shoved her back further into the office.

"You made me look like a fool out there. You've turned this city to shit and now you want to come in looking like the hero and step over me to go out to Illyria."

Elara stayed silent. It was better than trying to reason with him when he was in this state.

In the back of her mind, she clocked the softest sound of a heal turn around the corner. Unsure if Merikh heard it or not, she tried to back out of his grasp, worried someone would see what was going on. He held on tighter and opened his mouth to berate her again - she heard another soft step in their direction, this time Merikh heard it, but before he could fully react, Azriel was standing in the doorway.

Elara had never felt shame quite like what she was feeling in this moment. She had never wished to disappear more, had never wanted to be invisible and cease to exist quite as much as she did right now. Azriel could be quieter than silence itself, Elara knew that as well as anyone else. Had he made the noise intentionally to alert them of his presence? Had he misjudged the situation, wanted to avoid catching them in a compromising situation?

Azriel stood for a moment, considering the two of them.

"Merikh, you're needed in the foyer, Rhsyand needs to speak with you."

Merikh, had tried to disguise his hand placements as a romantic gesture, removed his arms from her shoulder and nodded once before leaving the room.

And there stood you and Azriel.

Heart racing and blood pumping, anxiety spiked so high she was starting to shake.

Calm and composed, Azriel stood like a stone in the doorway. It seemed he was rendered speechless.

[soul-eater-novel]

Suikoden I Soul Eater Light Novel Translation - Chapter 20!

For your reading pleasure and enjoyment, below the cut is the full rough English translation of chapter 20 of the official 1998 Suikoden I Soul Eater novel (volume 2 of 3). Individual page translations and original Japanese text can be found in the chapter 20 tag. As always, feedback on translations is welcome. Eventually I want to run a Kickstarter to officially license and print these books!

Chapter 20: Tear-stained Victory

Once they made it back to the castle, Tir immediately called a meeting of the most prominent members of the Liberation Army. Everyone made their way into the meeting hall, looking worried. Mathiu located Tai Ho and Yam Koo, sworn brothers, in the crowd and went to speak to them. “Tai Ho, I’ve heard you’ve fished the waters of Lake Toran for a very long time.”

“Sure, this place is like my backyard,” he replied. 

“Then you must also know of the lake pirates?”

“Yeah, I know their leader, Anji. So what?”

Mathiu explained his plan to borrow the pirate’s forces to stop Sonya’s navy. Tai Ho’s face split into a grin. “Now that’s what I call fun. Big sis Sonya’s been so quiet lately, the pirate’s have been sleeping on the job, too. Hey, Yam Koo!” He turned to his brother behind him. 

“What’s up, bro?”

“Go over to Anji’s place and drag those guys out here.”

“Huh?! Bro, you ain’t comin’ along?” Yam Koo exclaimed, shocked. 

“I’m staying put. Got the feeling something interesting’s gonna go down here. Fine by you, right, Mathiu?”

“Certainly,” the tactician replied, his expression bemused. “Well then, Yam Koo, we are all counting on you.”

“Tsk. Yeesh, big bro’s as fickle as the sea...” Grumbling, Yam Koo disappeared down the stairs. 

The others had gathered in the hall in the meantime. Mathiu quieted down the crowd and began the war council meeting. The main topic of discussion was, of course, the issue of how to defend themselves against the armored cavalry. 

“What if we dug pitfalls on the battlefield?” threw out the thief Kirin, smirking. 

“What kind of fool are you?” scoffed Lepant. “The gulhorse posses incredible jumping capabilities. Even if they did fall in the pit, they would just as soon jump out.” 

“Gulhorse are animals. There must be a predator that preys on them.” Put in Kuromimi. “If we catch that creature, I bet we could unleash them on the gulhorse!”

“There is some merit to that idea...” Kwanda rumbled. “All information related to gulhorses is a classified military secret because of Teo’s unit. And even if there is a natural predator, it would take us time to track it down."

Whatever ideas they might come up with, they were still up against the armored cavalry that no one had ever managed to defeat. They all racked their brains, but couldn’t come up with any plans that seemed feasible. Mathiu let out the breath he had been holding in a giant sigh.

At that very same moment, someone shouted loudly. “Wait, I’ve got it!” 

Tir raised his head. Flik pushed aside the other members to stand beside him and Mathiu. “I’ve just remembered! There is one way!”

Everyone broke into excited chatter. Flik continued. “This goes back to Lenankamp, at the hideout, before we were being pursued by the Imperial Army… At Odessa’s request, I had gone to the secret factory in the north to deliver the plans for a certain weapon.” 

“A weapon?” murmured Tir in wonder. 

Viktor joined the fray, also pushing past the others aside to join them. “Ya don’t mean... that, do you?”

“That’s right. The fire spears!”

“Fire spears...” Mathiu repeated softly. “What kind of weapon is that?” 

“I am not very knowledgeable on the subject, but it seems that dwarves somehow use a secret technique to harness the power of fire rune fragments to create a powerful spear that shoots out flames.” 

“With a weapon like that, we could...” 

Tir couldn’t help but recall the other weapons the dwarves had built.  The burning mirror Kwanda Rosman had used to destroy the village of the elves and the fire arrows they had used in turn to destroy the burning mirror. The sheer strength of both weapons was beyond his ken. The fire spears just might be able to destroy Teo’s cavalry units. 

“One moment, Flik...” Sanchez said, flustered. “I heard that when our old hideout got attacked, all of our other secret bases were closed up. Will this secret factory still even be there?”

“We will just have to take a gamble,” replied Mathiu. “Flik, do you know the way to the factory?”

“Round trip, I think it would take about twenty days.”

“We shall send our fastest. Now to decide who our envoys will be...”

Flik, Viktor, and Humphrey all volunteered to go and it was decided that Tai Ho would be in charge of the boat. 

Tai Ho guffawed. “I knew something interesting was gonna go down. I’ll go get the boat ready!”

The four of them left the room, ending the meeting.  Tir stayed behind and watched everyone leave. Suddenly, he called out to one man. “Master...”

Kai turned in response. He had taught Tir bojitsu—how to fight with a staff—when Tir was just a boy. “What is it, Tir?” 

Kai had aged, of course, but he was still a spry old man with a courageous gleam in his eye. Tir looked his old master right in the eye and said, “Will you spar with me once again, master Kai?”

Everyone still in the room turned to look at Tir in surprise. Kai’s eyes also widened in surprise. “Tir... so you mean to join this battle?”

Tir nodded wordlessly. 

I made up my mind on that battlefield. I will fight my father. I can’t just sit around twiddling my thumbs in the castle for twenty whole days. I have to immerse myself in something to drive away this pain in my heart… 

“Please train me, master Kai.”

“All right. Let’s go to the roof.”

Kai left the hall, carrying his staff in hand. Gripping his own staff tightly, Tir followed him. 

---

From that moment on, Tir devoted himself to studying bōjutsu under Kai’s tutelage. His body was bruised all over, his hands blistered. 

He did learn a number of secret techniques anew from Kai, but he was simply glad to be so bone-weary exhausted that he collapsed into bed and slept like the dead. 

While Tir spent his days training, Pahn crossed Toran Lake alone and made his way back to the castle. His arrival was met with cheers. 

He was covered in cuts and wounds. Cleo wrapped him in bandages. Laying in bed, Pahn sighed as he recounted his one-on-one battle with Teo. “Didn’t think there was any way I was comin’ out of that fight alive. Lord Teo must have let me get away...”

But Tir wasn’t so certain. After all, Teo had told Tir he would strike them with his full strength. 

Three days after Pahn came back, Yam Koo returned from his visit to the pirates with a guest in tow. It was Anji, the leader of the lake pirates. He sported a blue headband and wore a long, azure haori coat. He said he had originally been a Lake Toran merchant but, unable to stand the violence of the Empire, had gathered together like-minded comrades. This was how the lake pirates started. 

“Let’s blow those dirty Imperial bastards outta the water!” declared Anji, pledging two thousand of his men to the Liberation Army’s cause. Before returning to the pirate stronghold, he explained how he would attack Sonya’s fortress alongside his crew; Kanak, a fearsomely strong man, and Leonardo, who wielded a sickle and chain.  

After twenty days, Flik and the others returned. Together with Mose, the head of the secret factory, and his assistant Ronnie Bell, who was a female martial artist, they came bearing six hundred fire spears and safely transported them to the castle. 

The spears were long and silver, one size larger than Tir’s staff. There was a small globe on one end, apparently embedded with a rune fragment. The shaft of the spear contained a switch. When flipped, flames would spew out of a small opening in the tip of the spear. 

According to Flik, this ability was limited. Once the rune fragment’s power was used up, the spears would no longer be able to shoot flames.  

In addition to the fire spears, they also brought new volunteers with them from the north. These new recruits included Sarah, an expert laundress from the town of Kirov. Georges, whose skill lay in card games. Lester the chef. Melodye, a young woman who loved music, as well as Kun To, an acquaintance of Tai Ho and fellow sailor. 

From the ruins of Kalekka came the renowned tactician Leon Silverberg, who also happened to be Mathiu’s uncle, and Blackman, a farmer. They were joined by Mose and Ronnie Bell from the secret factory. 

At the factory, they also befriended the bandits Kessler and Ledon as well as the ninja Kage. Moreover, the sailor Kun To of Kirov brought with him two thousand men and women skilled with ships and added their numbers to the Liberation Army’s ranks.  

Having successfully driven off Milich, two thousand additional troops from the Kunan region also joined them. They were able to replace the soldiers they had lost in the previous battle, which boosted everyone’s morale considerably. Whenever he met one of their new comrades busily coming and going inside the castle, Tir was always amazed at their energy. 

ーーー

Strong winds raged over Toran Lake when Tir and the others launched their boats bound for the Goran region. Tai Ho explained that this was typical of the winds in winter, born as the drastically different temperatures from the north and south met over the lake. 

The waves were rough, but the wind gave their ships a strong tailwind, and the Liberation Army approached the Goran region at a brisk pace. While the wind whipped around the bow of the boat, Tir suddenly thought—We don’t need to be in that much of a hurry... 

At that moment, a sharp pain shot through his right arm. He lost all feeling from the back of his hand up to his shoulder, then he felt a wrenching pain in his shoulder as if his arm had just been twisted. 

Tir grunted in pain and clapped his other hand to his shoulder, hunched doubled over down on the floor of the boat. 

“Lord Tir!” cried Cleo and rushed to his side. “What’s wrong?” 

Tir’s breathing grew ragged as he fought the pain, but it gradually began to subside. Taking a deep breath, he stood back up. “It’s nothing,” he murmured. “Probably just overdid it a little with the training.”

Worry still creased Cleo’s features. “Is that what it was? Don’t push yourself so hard you ruin your health, Lord Tir.”

“I know. Thank you, Cleo.”

But a deep unease still rooted itself in his heart. It was the same sense of dread and foreboding he had felt in Kaku. Only one element differed. This time, the searing pain in his right hand still remained, as if his hand were aflame. 

Though it was hidden by the glove he wore, that was the hand that bore the Soul Eater rune he had inherited from Ted. 

Tai Ho turned to Tir from the stern of the ship and shouted as the boat ran up against the sandy shore. “Lord Tir, we’ve arrived!”

The pain in the Tir’s hand still bothered him, but their preparations to disembark pushed it from his thoughts. The boats carrying the soldiers arrived one by one. Some unloaded the horses while others began offloading the fire spears. 

The dense forest between the sandy shore and the fields blocked their view, so they couldn’t see what state Teo’s forces were in just yet. However, according to the scouts Mathiu had sent ahead, Teo had deployed his men at the far end of the field, waiting for the Liberation Army to come ashore. 

“There’s a saying that goes, ‘attack when the army is in the middle of a crossing’,” said Cleo. “In other words, if you attack your opponent while he’s part way through crossing a river or a lake, with only half his forces available, you have the highest chance of victory.”

Stowing her throwing daggers in her belt, she continued. “Seeing as how Lord Teo is waiting for us to disembark, he must be very confident in his armored cavalry.”

“I guess so.” Grasping his staff with both hands, Tir jumped down from the boat. Tir did not yet know the power of the fire spears, but in his heart he had only one wish. 

Please, Father, just run away.

ーーー

Mathiu sent the troops prepared for battle out onto the plains. From his position five hundred paces away, Teo awaited them, his armored cavalry units lined up in a neat row. 

Crowding behind those troops were the main cavalry units led by Alen, his red cape fluttering, and Grenseal, clad in green, his silver armor shining. 

The armored cavalry numbered about three thousand, and the main force roughly eleven thousand. On the other side was the Liberation Army. Viktor, Flik, and Humphrey led three fire spear units at the front, flanked by Lepant on the left and Valeria on the right.  

In the middle were the foot soldiers led by Kai and Varkas. At the rear were Kirkis, Lorelai, and Ruby’s archery units. Furthermore, though their military strength was limited, Luc also led a unit of mages. All in all, they numbered about twelve thousand. 

Teo’s army and the Liberation Army were on the verge of war. The soldiers were ready to fight. Tir and Mathiu stood together at the head of the army, a little ways away from the fighting units.

Teo rode out from among the armored cavalry units.

“Listen well, traitors!” he roared, drawing his sword. “Try as many times as you might, the result will be the same! None can win against my armored cavalry! You are spilling blood pointlessly!”

“I have no ear to lend to common thieves who put the name of the Empire to shame!” came a return shout from the unit on the left side. It was Lepant. “You are the ones who will be left in the dust of our gale! Listen to the voices of the oppressed and suffering people of this country!”

Their exchange made Tir’s heart ache, but there was no time or room left for sadness or suffering. 

Teo gave the order to his armored cavalry. “All units, advance!”

The gulhorses, well rested after their ten minute break, stampeded across the earth, leaping and surging like waves. 

Mathiu motioned to his subordinate to wave the flag and Viktor’s unit at the front advanced. “Witness the might of our fire spears!”

Three armored cavalry units lined up side-by-side awaited them.  The distance between the two armies narrowed to three hundred paces. 

Viktor’s forces stayed put. Soon the two forces were only two hundred paces apart. The three leaders raised their hands. On cue, the soldiers readied their fire spears. 

Only one hundred paces remained.

Flik, Viktor, and Humphrey shouted in unison. “Attack!”

In response, the soldiers used their fire spears. Tir gasped involuntarily. So did Mathiu beside him and the soldiers in the other units.

Flames shot out from the fire spears right before their eyes. The bright red flames gushed out, easily covering perhaps two hundred paces, the flickering tongues of fire eagerly reaching out to embrace the approaching armored cavalry units. 

The mounted soldiers were instantly engulfed in flames. The Imperial soldiers tried to veer to the side to escape, but were impeded by the three units led by Viktors and the others, which had fanned out in a straight line.

Others panicked and tried to retreat, but were unable to escape the flames and perished. The enemy soldiers who leapt into the Liberation Army’s ranks in a desperate attempt to avoid the fire fell prey to their swords. 

Unable to bear the sight of the fallen soldiers burning to death, Tir shut his eyes without meaning to. But even with his eyes shut tight, the stink of burnt metal and flesh assaulted his nostrils. 

Realizing it was the stench of burning human and gulhorse, Tir gagged and nearly threw up. 

“I never imagined the fire spears would be this powerful...” Even Mathiu was forced to turn his face away from the appalling carnage in front of them. 

The units continued emitting flames. Even when nothing no longer moved among the flames, they didn’t stop. The enemy had been completely overwhelmed by the fire. 

At last, the rune fragments were used up and one by one the fire spears’ flames winked out across the field. When all the fires had gone out, not even the field itself remained. There was only scorched earth, littered with fallen, blackened corpses. 

For a moment, the two armies stood frozen in shocked silence. Then the flags of the Imperial Army’s three central units waved, and Teo’s unit began to advance. 

“Shall we proceed, my Lord?” inquired Mathiu.  

Even as he nodded his assent, Tir’s heart screamed out—Run, Father! Please, just run!

But Teo’s unit was going to fight to the bitter end. With Alen’s unit on his left flank and Grenseal’s on his right, Teo himself in the middle led the charge against them.  

Mathiu quickly ordered their own units into position. Teo’s units and their three advance guard units collided. Alen and Lepant, Grenseal and Valeria, went head-to-head. Atop the still smoking earth, the clash began. 

As one would expect of Teo’s army, the soldiers maintained their composure and did not waver even when faced with the loss of the armored cavalry units. Even when hit by the three units led by Viktor and the others, Teo’s forces did not break. Instead of folding, they actually began to push back the Liberation Army’s units. 

“Now the real battle begins...” Mathiu murmured, closing his eyes. 

Tir remembered when he had first met Mathiu in the village of Seika. His eyes filled with sorrow, he had said... 

“I do not want to see any more people lose their lives under my command, whether they are enemies or allies.”

With an effort, Mathiu opened his eyes again and scowled at Teo’s army. He shouted his orders to his subordinates to raise the flag and transmit his commands. “Kai take the left, Varkas the right! Lorelai and Ruby’s units act as backup to each!”

The units received the signal and began to move accordingly. Kai and Varkas’ foot soldiers broke into a charge. Kai’s attacked Alen’s unit, while Varkas’ circled around to the side of Grenseal’s unit. Behind them, Lorelai and Ruby’s units filled the smoky skies with a rain of arrows. 

In rapid succession, a pillar of flames erupted amid the raging waves of soldiers. At the same instant, dark clouds gathered above them and unleashed a torrent of lightning down on the Liberation Army’s forces. Both units flanking Alen and Grenseal had begun to use magic. 

For the moment the wave of the Liberation Army’s forces begins to recede. Mathiu turned to Luc, who was watching the proceedings beside him with Tir and the others, and nodded. 

Luc stared at the fire and lightning plaguing the Liberation Army and snorted. “My turn at last, hm? I was beginning to wonder if I should just go home.”

Luc charged alongside the magic unit atop his horse. They placed themselves behind the three units led by Flik and the others. The magic users linked arms, forming a circle. Luc stood in the middle of the circle and raised his right hand to the heavens. “I’ll show you the power of the wind rune that dwells in my body!”

No sooner did Luc’s voice ring out then a terrible whirlwind formed and swept through the battlefield. The wind scattered the dark clouds and extinguished the flames. Luc blocked the magic of Alen and Grenseal’s units in one fell swoop. 

“All units, advance!” cried Mathiu, and once again the Liberation Army moved forward. Arrows danced through the air amid the screams of the Imperial soldiers. Kai and Varkas’ units attacked from both sides and at last began to gain some dominion over the Imperial forces. Valeria and Lepant’s units each began to move forward as well. 

The Imperial army’s flanks were collapsing under the incessant rain of arrows from both sides. 

“Father...” murmured Tir, averting his eyes from the battlefield. 

I thought I was prepared to fight against my father... I thought I was ready to face his defeat or my own, but... 

As Tir gripped his reins in his hands so tightly it hurt, Flik, Viktor and Humphrey’s units also began to move. Tir raised his face, his eyes wet with tears that would not fall, and advanced together with the three units. 

Little by little, the three units approached Teo’s main force.  “Father…” cried Tir. “Father!!!” He could no longer think. Gripping his reins, heedless of Mathiu’s cries to stop, he leapt into the fray of battle. *** Table of Contents

★ Chapters 0-1 ★ Chapters 2-3  ★ Chapters 4-5  ★ Chapters 6-7  ★ Chapters 8-9 ★ Chapters 10-11  ★ Chapters 12-13  ★ Chapters 14-15 ★ Chapters 16-17 ★ Chapters 18-19

«-first // archive // Ramsus-kun Scanslations

[rosethornewrites]

Fic: and sings the tune without the words, ch. 11

Relationship: Jiāng Yànlí & Jīn Zǐxuān, Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín & Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn, Jiāng Yànlí & Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén, Jiāng Fēngmián & Lán Qǐrén, Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén & Niè Míngjué

Characters: Jiang Yanli, Jin Zixuan, Lan Zhan | Lan Wangji, Wei Ying | Wei Wuxian, Jiāng Chéng | Jiāng Wǎnyín, Lán Qǐrén, Jiāng Fēngmián, Lán Huàn | Lán Xīchén, Wēn Ruòhán, Wēn Qíng, Wēn Níng | Wēn Qiónglín, Yú Zǐyuān, Nie Mingjue

Additional Tags: Epistolary, Food, Music, Secrets, Resentful Energy, Cultivation Sect Politics, Character Death, Politics, Assassination Attempt(s), Attempted Kidnapping, Hostage Situations, Mentioned Wei Changze,

Summary: Nie Mingjue reports again to Lan Xichen about the continued discussion conference.

Notes: See end.

Previous fic in the series: “the thing with feathers”

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

AO3 link

——————

Xichen,

Jiang-zongzhu moves quickly. As soon as Wen Qing was finished with her testimony, he had Yu-furen and a group of seniors travel to Dafan. Her family had been informed, and had packed their belongings, the majority of which will be moved via cart and horse, accompanied by senior Jiang disciples, but A-Die and Lan-xiansheng also sent seniors to help, and the children, elderly, and several pregnant women were evacuated by sword so as to shield them from the perils of travel. Jin Guangshan offered senior disciples as well, but his offer was not accepted given the current situation.

A man was caught in the family area of Lotus Cove, having taken a woman named Sisi hostage as she was delivering the midday meal to us, but she wears a stiletto in her hair and it wound up in the man’s chest. He was dressed in nondescript clothing, but an examination of the body revealed his affiliation with the Jin, so Jin Guangshan is on very thin ice, though he of course denied all knowledge.

The children saw the body, with the struggle having taken place just outside the area we’re confined to, and the woman was shaken and bruised. I had drawn Baxia, but the man fell before I could act. A-Die is livid with the Jin, especially since A-Sang and I could have been in danger. Jin Guangshan even tried to say this was proof Jiang-zongzhu should turn over the two women and their children as he has demanded, claiming he failed to protect them. Then Jiang-zongzhu revealed the evidence that the assailant was Jin.

So now the discussion conference is even more fraught. Jin-zongzhu hasn’t been ordered to leave Lotus Pier yet, but it seems like he could be if anything further occurs.

On the other hand, the evacuation of the children and elders of Dafan Wen went off without a hitch. Now there’s a popo who stays in the family area with us during the day, who minds the younger children while the older ones are housed in a disciple pavilion. Now that he has his jiejie and the other Wen children around, Wen Ning has calmed down. Jiang Lian is thrilled to have new playmates, as well. Wen Qing has spent much of her time since her testimony resting, and she often has a gaggle of toddlers napping around her.

The idea that the Jiang “take in strays” sounds like someone who does not value a healthy populace, snakes that want to swallow elephants. I admire the Jiang sect in their willingness to look beyond bloodline at the mettle of a person rather than their circumstances. Meng Yao and his mother are two such examples, and no doubt they will do better under the protection of the Jiang clan. His mother’s pupils are street children and former prostitutes learning to read so they may find better lives.

I’m only glad A-Die takes us back to the assigned Nie quarters each evening, and I wonder how Wangji is able to handle as well as he has. Sometimes the children are quite loud, but he simply sits beside Jiang Wuxian and seems unbothered. They’ll just sit next to each other, Wangji reading and Jiang Wuxian talking with A-Sang or one of his siblings or engaged in painting or some other such activity—though your brother always makes sure he is between them and any egress. Sometimes Jiang Wuxian will join them, and Wangji watches or follows. I’ve even seen him roll a ball with a toddler. A-Sang has been vocal about how he was always snubbed in their childhood but now he plays with random babies. He forgets the biting phase, but that was more a game for Wangji than anyone else.

The different Wen faction representatives have stopped demanding Jiang Wuxian be punished, according to the servants, after Wen Qing’s testimony revealed his depravity. Suddenly it has become more likely that he was hurting the boy and whatever curse that was placed on him killed him in the backlash. Of course, that could be a ploy to lower our guards.

Plus the body of one of the representatives who had been insistent that Jiang Wuxian be turned over to the Wen was found in the river, apparently from foul play. The man had been defending Wen Ruohan and denouncing Wen Qing as a liar, in addition to being quite rude to the other Wen factions, so it’s not exactly surprising, but it’s just a relief to no longer hear that some idiot is calling for a kid’s blood.

There are hints that the conference may end soon, rumors that the representative was assassinated and that worse is occurring in Qishan. Hopefully it won’t spill over—Qinghe is too close to Qishan for comfort.

Your brother is fine—happy, in fact, that Jiang-zongzhu has decided Jiang Wuxian will return to the Cloud Recesses with him to winter there for his own safety. I believe Jiang-zongzhu hopes by the time winter is over, Qishan will be too distracted by in-fighting to even think about the boy.

Truly, his attachment to Jiang Wuxian is close, and he is more engaged with people than he has ever been, and I suspect that’s due to their relationship. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if their betrothal leads to a happy marriage—they already seem to move in tandem. It’s odd, but very interesting to watch. A-Sang keeps sighing about yuanfen and love matches, even.

A-Die intends to accompany the Lan, I think to ensure they aren’t attacked. Strength in numbers and all, so I will get to visit you after all.

Do not worry. I will help protect your brother and his betrothed until they are safely home.

Mingjue

—————

Mingjue,

I very much appreciate the continued updates, though the news of the attempt to get into the Lotus Cove family area is concerning—even if it doesn’t seem to have been targeting Jiang Wuxian. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the Wen factions would try for Wen Qing, so I’m glad your father and Shufu sent extra disciples to protect her family as they relocate to Yunmeng.

I hope Mo-guniang and Meng-ayi are holding up well, under the circumstances, and that Meng Yao stays safe. I’m certain he’s quite worried about his mother, but he seemed to really care for his young half-brother, as well. You said in your previous letter that you’d had some good conversations with him, and I hope you’ve had more—he could use friends in other sects, especially given current events. I hope he writes at some point as well, if he’s interested; perhaps I should write to him first so he is more comfortable.

Jiang-zongzhu’s decision to evacuate the children and elderly via sword while the stronger members of the Dafan Wen community handle the more difficult part of the relocation is wise. Honestly, that Jin-zongzhu would offer his disciples for such a mission, after having just been linked to an attempt to get access to the family area by taking a hostage, is shockingly brazen in its arrogance. That sort of treatment of another major sect is reminiscent of Wen Ruohan, and a perceived power vacuum presumably left by Qishan Wen could lead to issues in the future.

While I was at Lotus Pier, I read a treatise in the Jiang library about how the loss of a large clan can lead to a fight among remaining large clans seeking to fill the void and become more powerful, based on the historical downfall of the Xue clan. I don’t recall the title, but if you ask Jiang Wuxian about it, I’m sure he can send a servant to fetch it, as I’m sure you would enjoy reading it. Wei Changze, his birth father, wrote it—apparently he was a historian of sorts. Jiang Wuxian was thrilled when I showed it to him. I didn’t have the opportunity to see if there were more documents by him, but the servants could look and bring them to you, I’m sure.

The death of the Wen representative makes it clear a sort of schism is occurring within the Wen sect and may mean rumors as to the fate of Wen Ruohan’s sons are not so far-fetched. Hopefully, it will not spill over with the defection of Wen Qing, but I have no doubt our elders will have thought of that issue. But it seems more likely that her decision has saved her branch and will prevent her being seen as a threat by anyone who isn’t an ardent Wen Ruohan supporter. I too hope any strife doesn’t spill over into Qinghe, though at least your father has warning and can keep tabs on any of the smaller Nie-affiliated sects.

I am not surprised Wangji is handling the presence of others more easily—Jiang Wuxian’s influence, again. The time in Lotus Pier has in some ways helped him grow accustomed to it so he is not so overwhelmed. I wonder if the quiet of the Cloud Recesses might have similar impacts on other children, if perhaps visits to more bustling places might better prepare them for the world.

I suspect Huaisang has the right of it. Fate brings together those that are a thousand miles apart, and it occurred in this case. Wangji seems to find more satisfaction in life since he became close to Jiang Wuxian. Wangji also believes finding Jiang Wuxian again is yuanfen—he’s quite a bit more of a romantic than I expected. I think Shufu was worried, after Fuqin, but Wangji is his own person.

May your journey be safe and peaceful. I will be happy to see you, and for my brother and Jiang Wuxian to be safe in the Cloud Recesses soon. Hopefully there will be no more complications with the discussion conference.

Thank you for your protection,

Xichen

—————

Nie Mingjue uses a chengyu: “A man's greed is like a snake that wants to swallow an elephant.” Lan Xichen uses one: “Fate brings together those that are a thousand miles apart” and alludes to another: “With love, water is enough; without love, food doesn't satisfy.” At the end of his letter, he uses another: “journey safe and peaceful,” a quote from a Ming dynasty poet, Fan Yiyi.

[fentibeauty]

okay, we know toxic!riri is a hypocrite. she’s most likely to leave you on delivered for DAYSS. what about her getting mad at reader for doing it to her?

a/n: i like the way you thinkk, hope i fed you well with this.

warnings: toxicity, profanity, aggression, angst.

tags: @melodykisses @shuris-whore @saturnville @haechvn @ppawmpkin @cherios @vargskelegore @angeliquebones @szalipcombo @rxcently @playgurlxoxo @shurisbbymama (comment if you wanna be in tag list)

you were with your friend, shopping at the mall treating yourself. it was the end of the semester, you passed all of your exams, so why not have a day to yourself? you decided not to bring riri along, the reasons behind it is because she can get rather annoying while shopping, and you we’re currently upset with her.

you understood it was finals week, plus she was iron heart and she was always busy. but it didn’t excuse the fact that she would literally leave you on delivered for days. not even reacting to the message with at least a thumbs up. you told your friends about it, you didn’t like bringing them into your relationship problems with riri but you were desperate for advice.

“knowing myself, i would just do the same thing back. play their game. they’ll notice what you’re doing and they should stop their game playing. but also knowing riri, you gon have to work 10x harder than me.” your friend told you as she picked up a shirt she was interested in.

you nodded your head, maybe you should do the exact shit riri does to you.

starting now..

you guys walked to the food court, you were so hungry after all the shopping. once you and your friend sat down with your food you guys engaged in conversation.

“let me tell you, i am so glad finals are over, i was so close to-”

*ping!*

you look down at your phone and it was indeed a text message from riri, interrogating you about your whereabouts.

riri <3: ma, i’ve been knocking on your door for way too long, where tf are you? sent: 2:45pm

you looked back at your friend, “like i was saying.. i was so close to ending it all. i’ve never been so stressed in my entire life”

“i’m surprised i passed mine. i didn’t study at all.” your friend shrugged as she popped a fry into her mouth. you shook your head, “you never study for anything.”

“hey! if i ace everything without studying what’s the point?” she tried to reason. “i guess.” you laughed.

riri <3: answer your fucking phone, you’re lucky i don’t have your location or i’d pop up on your ass. sent 2:50pm

riri <3: ANSWER THE DAMN PHONE Y/N. sent 2:51pm

riri <3: stop playing with me, man. what’s so important to where you can’t answer your girlfriend’s text message??? sent: 2:52pm.

you watched at the messages came through, rolling your eyes at the hypocrisy in these messages. you look up at your friend who has an amused grin on her face. “looks like she ain’t playing around, huh?” you shake your head.

“hush! she’s such a hypocrite, look at these messages.” you showed her.

riri <3: you’re not even at campus are you.. you’re pissing me off really. i know damn well you’re on your phone. sent 2:54pm

riri <3: what’s the fucking point of having one if you ain’t responding to me? sent: 2:55pm

“ou girl, they keep on coming. you definitely in for it.” your friend found everything about this funny. “maybe i shouldn’t have told you to do this, because riri is nuts.” she reread the messages to get another laugh.

you looked back at your phone to read the new messages as you shook your head. you silenced your phone and put it on the table. “let’s just continue our lovely day. i’ll deal with her later.” you picked up your lemonade taking a sip of it.

you and friend left the mall, you then went to go get your hands and feet done. you got a touch up on your eyebrows and you even got a massage!

as you were driving back to the university you have yet to check your phone since. you parked in the student parking and got out of the car. you and your friend retrieved your bags from the trunk.

“it was nice girl, let me know when you wanna do this again! i’m free for you always.” she smiled. you went in for a hug, saying goodbye and going separate directions.

you finally looked at your phone and there was indeed 30 messages from riri fucking williams. you didn’t even bother reading them, you knew it was gonna be a bunch of hypocrite bullshit.

you made it to your dorm, and opened the door. you sighed and placed the bags on the table. you turned back around to lock your door. as you were about to turn around you froze.

“so you ain’t seen my messages mama?” your eyes went wide, how the FUCK did she get in here? “how.. did you get in here?” you were sure you locked your door. “don’t worry about all of that. why the hell didn’t you answer my damn texts!” riri got up from your bed and walked towards you.

she backed you up to the door and stared you into your eyes. “where. the. fuck. were. you. all. day?” you looked down, your submissive self slowly coming out by riri’s dominant tone.

“i was out.” you looked down. riri grabbed your chin and forced you to look her in the eye. “and that causes you to not respond to me all fucking day? it’s 8 fucking pm.” you felt yourself getting angry. “i was enjoying my fucking self. treating myself after this long ass week of exams. i was with my friend and i was just enjoying the moment.” you pushed her off of you.

“enjoying the moment with her? for fuck what? why couldn’t you bring me along?? i had exams too.”

“look at the way you act! i don’t want you to ruin our day because of your toxicity.” you point at her.

“that still doesn’t excuse the fact that you ignored me this whole time.” you scoff, smiling. “really riri.. REALLY? what does a few hours have on SEVERAL DAYS, that you go without texting me. you went a week without responding to my messages.”

“you know i be caught up in things though.

“listen to yourself! you’re being a damn hypocrite! i’m busy, you’re busy. we’re both business. but i also find a way to text my girlfriend because i love you and i want you to know that i’m here. but it seems that i’m the last person on your fucking mind all the time because you never text me BACK!” you were furious at this point. you finally told her how you felt about her ignoring you after a while.

you know riri wanted to have a rebuttal, she wanted to have the last word but couldn’t. she knew you were right, she sighed in defeat. “look ma, i’m sorry okay. i’m sorry. i understand what you’re saying i do.”

“no you don’t, you never do.” you crossed your arms. “you say you understand but go back to do this same exact shit 2 days after.”

she walked up to you. she uncrossed your arms and they fell to your side. she said wrapped her arms around your waist. you looked at the wall in-front of you. “i hate texting, you know this baby. i’d rather you just come and see me.” she kissed your neck. you tucked your lips in not phased by what she was saying or doing. “i know, i know. we have 2 different schedules and routines so it can be tricky to communicate.”

“it’s never that tri-”

“shhh, just let me finish talking, ma.” riri’s hands made her way down to cup your ass, giving it a firm smack making you stumble into her arms a bit.

you let out an aggravated huff and looked into her eyes, “imma work on my communication. i promise. okay? but it aint gon happen overnight. just work with me. call me, facetime me, pull up at my garage if you feel like i’m ignoring you. ion like texting, like i said before but i’ll try to get better.” she pulled you closer to her as she kissed your jawline before pulling you in for a kiss.

don’t fold. don’t fold. don’t fold. don’t fold.

you knees buckled as you gave in, riri grinned into the kiss and you whined. “you still mad at me baby?” riri asked. “you don’t play fair.” you hit her shoulder.

“never have, never will.”

the enddd.

[sucantslay]

Wataru and Eichi's solo song analysis

-How did it connect together and the meaning of their relationship-(Part1: Eichi)

I'm literally crying, and there will be more tears after this...but I must...

If you're questioning why I delivered this analysis so late...uhm, it's long. But in short, I've to re-read some of the stories just to make some needed points and to make sure that the facts are true ( and all kinds of business randomly pop up on my schedule, haunting me for weeks! )

Before that, I need you to read some warnings first!

This is my PERSONAL way of looking at their characteristic, if it is not for you, YOU'RE FREE TO HAVE YOUR OWN IDEAL.

Even if you're an Eichi-P, an Eichi hater, or just someone who simply wants to know more about him, I welcome you all with open arms. No one is being banned here. But pls, if you don't like or enjoy the way I look and think of Eichi, do not send hate or make any big mess. If you don't like it, just stop reading, that's it.

There won't be much of the translated song picture because Tumblr stops me from putting 10pic in a post so...again with the word.

THIS IS GONNA BE GODDAMN LONG! I spit it into 2 parts! And it still LONGGG HELP! ( Part 1 will be Eichi's song and Part two is for Wataru song ) I'll make a tag and put the link so you can get to Wataru's part.

I'll be using these 2 Eichi solo songs to analyze:

Shinning star + Crystal Pleasure

And for Wataru:

Amazing World + Wandering Clown

I'm so sorry if there is not much information about Wataru, as well as a good look into his character. We don't have much information about him so...I need things to base on, a clue to know what up with him, but it is hard to even find one because he rarely talks about himself. So most of this analysis will be talking about it from Eichi's standpoint. It's funny how both rarely talk about their family and other personal stuff but since Wataru is around and always able to pull some lore out of Eichi's mouth, we get to know more about Eichi. Though, it was not the same for Wataru because Eichi have lot of respected for him. There had been multiple occasions when Eichi tried telling Wataru that he could open up to him but after some silence, Eichi just said: "It ok if you don't wanna talk about it." And they continued on with other stuff.

Alright, let's set up a map for this one because it is kinda LOnGGGGG

A small summary of young Eichi and how he came to know Wataru + during the war and after the war ended.

What thoughts do I have on Eichi being so in love with Wataru?

Into the song: About Eichi's solo then we'll get to Wataru's solo later.

1. A little summary!

Since this post is a goddam 4 song-analyzing post, it going to be hard for those who just want to get to the song part, so I made a whole different post for it!

If you're interested, go ahead and read the summary, if not, you can get to other parts. BUT, I STRONGLY RECOMMEND YOU TO read it ( if you have the time to ) because it going to help you understand Eichi's character better and enjoyable view of his song and the connection he has with Wataru.

2. Some of my thought on their dynamic ( 0v0/ ✨❤️✨)

I'm crying in happiness to get a chance to talk about them. I really want to do this for a long time ago but never got the time to.

As I've mentioned before in part 1. Eichi is Wataru's biggest fan.

So, it is likely that Eichi loves him but also puts a distance wall in their relationship like how a fan is to their idols.

From the brutal war, Eichi thinks he had hurt too many people to be forgiving PLUS the self-hate and low-esteem, it is just like a knife that was already placed in his chest, after the war ends, it just goes deeper in.

Wataru visited him but it did not make Eichi cry in tear of joy but in pain, because to Eichi, now, no one would like to be with him anymore. It was a good choice to let Tsumugi go, so he can be free. It was a good choice to made that damn contract even if friendship is what needed to help a Unit grow strong.

That "Fine" was never a Unit in Eichi's eyes. It was nothing but a weapon he used to wield. To kill the innocent, carefree being, yet it was necessary.

An action he must took to made the school a better place. And he did, he succeeded but sacrificed himself in the process.

So, if it was not for Wataru, we would never have the Fine today. Heck! Maybe we never get to see Eichi again and he will become nothing but the dust of Yumenosaki's past.

And I was so in tears! Every goddamn time Eichi keeps on with that suspicious look, scare that Wataru wouldn't be with him anymore, that Eichi will be throw away like trash.

Like! Give it a rest buddy! He love you! That it!

And to that depressed little rich guy? Wataru didn't hate him or stay away from him at all!

He was also trying his best, like feeding a kid the food they hate but is healthy so Wataru have to keep trying.

He kept on trying and trying just to let Eichi know: "I'm here for you, and I won't run away, I won't hurt you, I won't betray you. I will be here, with you."

With that came! The shiniest moment of the two!

EP: Link!

When Wataru literally gave Eichi his one and beloved mask that he wear all the time, just to let Eichi know that he'll always be here for Eichi.

I laughed so hard with Eichi just confused at the spot until others showed up.

Like, Eichi, yeh? Rich, smart, good looking. Yet just for a mask now placed on his hand and he getting all wonder in space.

Why? Because he was so sure about everything he thought! To him, his plan was perfect, to the man who wounded many, of course, he would never think that the plan in his head would not become true. He did it before, how can he fail it this time?

It couldn't go wrong, right? He thinks to himself but never did he consider it to be just some random stuff that he made up in his head and reality is different.

When he hear the news that Wataru participated in the actor test, he thought Wataru gave up on being an idols. Then went: "Well...look like he didn't want to be with me anymore. Look like he'll be come an actor."

Like...man, you made that up. You're sad because of your own thoughts then later on get confused when it isn't what actually happened.

This man is such a pathetic guy, I love him.

3. Song analysis:

Well well well, isn't it time *look at my watch*

Even though analysis 1 song would be great, I do, however, want to put 2 solo songs into this analysis then one.

Of course, we'll go slow and analyze one at a time, yet I can't stop but put both songs in one post because, in that way, we can see how both have changed, develop though still full of flaws, they have become something beautiful and will continues to grow.

Let's start with - SHINING STAR:

"A twinkling trace of a dream from beyond the horizon."

"Even though I understand...that it might just be an illusion"

Firstly, the name of this first solo is "SHINING STAR". It both mentions Wataru ( of course! ) and Eichi being the star.

But the two are described differently.

In these lines, mentions the appearance of an unknown shining star from beyond the horizon, a faraway star that shines bright.

But the more Eichi looked, as he thought it was all just a dream, an unreal feeling of this star that shine far in the sky. Because it was so beautiful, but how did he be able to find it here? Was it all way that close or was it all his imagination?

"Today with you, I continue to chasing it."

I said it already but let's say it again!

This man you're looking at is once a suicidal freak!!!

So gained enough confidence to live up to a "Today with you" is one thing, and actually find meaning in life "continue to chasing it" is another.

Because when you're in a state of depression, to once again find the meaning it life is HARD. When everything is already at its limit. When you can't feel anything anymore

Nothing but an empty soul, it hard. That is why depressing people don't do many things or everything at the same time. They try to find a way to continue living or decide to give up on everything.

Losing motive.

Yet Eichi was able to wake up and try to run away from this death of him. He might die from trying too hard, but he made the decision. To continue.

And who gave him the courage for this? Wataru! That is why, it was a "Today with you". Because Eichi still wants to see Wataru's show and witness the beauty of this magician.

I can't die yet! That's why he continues to fight. For everyone, for himself, but right at this moment, when the solo was released, at this moment, to him, Wataru was the first reason for he to continue.

As he's love for idols, pulls him back to life.

"Beautiful things are so fragile and ephemeral" "Permeating through your eyes, I reach out" "Oh, SHINING STAR"

Guys, I'll count from 1 to 3, guess who Eichi was singing about.

1, 2, 3!

Surprise no surprise! It was Wataru.

The shining star he mentions in some of the first lines, as it was far away but Eichi isn't that hopeless of a boy anymore, he shows signs of trying "I reach out".

He wants to be admitted and to be seen in his beloved idol's eyes. He wanted Wataru to see him and caught Wataru's attention.

Even if Wataru is already there for him, Eichi himself thinks otherwise, that he still has a long way to go. He can't just be at the winning spot without paying any price.

And for that, he was scared that he might hurt him. Like the things he did to Wataru friend, the Eccentric and the old Fine.

He was so scared of this beauty now coming so close to him "Beautiful things" he called it, the feeling he had when he was with Wataru, with the things he love yet never had a change to tough it is "fragile", this relationship can be broke if Wataru don't want to be with him anymore.

But, was Wataru's purpose for being here in was because of him or because Wataru wanted something from him.

He feels like the relationship they have is "ephemeral"

( if you are questioning: Ephemeral means lasting for a very short time )

"Underneath this starry sky" "An unknown neverending path continues"

My man is confusing

This depressing guy just recovered from his wound and was still a little confused over the new future he's facing ahead.

It's an unknown path, may be perilous, may be terrifying but he made his decision, he'll go on, he'll continue.

He knows that it will be uneasy. For he who thought that the next thing he'll be on is his deathbed, never knew someone would have the time and strength to take his hand and pull him out of that destiny deathbed.

His future was switched, and now he had to face a new unknown path that he knew nothing about.

"And for your sake" "I'll keep on shining"

"I'll be "SHINING STAR"."

And for the clown who needs a villain to lead his way, Eichi will continue to live until Wataru no longer wants him.

He wants to, no, he is a star, an unknown star that yet to be discovered. And after Wataru point it out for him, he understand that he is also some where far yet close to Wataru spot.

So, to catch that shining star attention, he'll have to be shining too!

Thought Eichi didn't seen to realize what it takes to become a real idol. His love for idols is endless and so does he's wish for a brighter future with Wataru.

And with that, for Wataru's sake, he keeps on living, shining bright as a star.

"Hiding your sorrow behind a smile" "You understand the pain of resistance" "A lifeless flower is blooming in the plains" "Such things make this world beautiful"

I will kill just to legally continue calling out these lyrics that Eichi sings about, all pointing to Wataru.

If you thought, yeh, Wataru can't be sad, he always looks happy. Then, my dear reader, you are wrong. Wataru can be blue sometimes, but it's hard to know since he just kept on smiling.

You can rarely find a moment where he puts down his mask, but it doesn't mean zero.

In Phantom Thieves and Detectives, after Knight and Ra*bit show, Wataru appears in the dark. But he seems...tired and doesn't really care to put on the face of a clown anymore.

This is not often, but there is also the time when Wataru points out other characters about the fact that they're wearing a mask too.

The reason Eichi can sing these lines is because he notices, he watches Wataru closely, for a long time, to the point he starts to realize that his beloved idols also have their flaws.

Since 2 lines are already about Wataru, so is the third!

The flower is Wataru, but instead of blooming anywhere else, he blooms "in the plains".

A primarily treeless place. In that way, it was easy to spot the flowers.

Standing on the bright stage, all along. The soulless flower bloom. It was beautiful, but the more you look, you'll find out, that this beauty is an empty one, it was a host but without a soul.

"Without hurting anyone, no dream can come true" "Without getting hurt, there's no way forward either"

"Oh, SHINING STAR"

Oh, I don't know, maybe in his household, he was being taught that you'll have to fight to win things over. Since he's a heir of a big rich household, of course, he gets the education to become one.

In this brutal world of humanity, to Eichi, the way he can win is through competition, fighting and sometimes you'll have to be tricky and stop playing nice when it doesn't seem to work.

He could have found a better way to make the school turn from bad to good, but it is not possible to win over such things without bloodshed.

With that in mind, turning the table by starting a war, and such education had already eaten into his brain from youth.

So in his way of seeing things, there are no dream if you don't stand up for a fight. If not pulling people down to get the first place in line, how can you do it? Nicely ask them to? Will they simply say yes or kick you down to the ground.

If you don't get hurt, you can't learn from it. And at the end of the day, you'll achieve nothing.

"As unbalanced as we are" "If we have different strides, let's join hands"

This part, this dam part *cry*

Wataru is a different star, and Eichi is a different star, yet Eichi is trying to reach out to him.

Silly science time! Did you know that two stars are really really far away from each other? Yes, the Sun is a star, but Earth, Mars, and others are planets, not stars.

Two stars can't be too close together.

The average distance between two stars in the Milky Way is around 5 light-years, or 29 trillion miles (47 trillion kilometers)

And even though all those constellations seem to a "standing close with other stars" and got connected into a line, they're in fact not, one might be far away from the other, yet they're all too far for our human eyes to know the difference.

Also, if you're wondering about the fact that two stars stand next to each other, they can but...they simply will pull themself close to the other and then go boom like a two-side car crash ( with both drivers being drunk a*s f*ck since they just get out from their daily local bar )

( it feels like that one time when I analyzed a Valkyrie song then ended up putting an whole a*s poem in it )

Yet, Eichi wants to get to Wataru, "Let's join hands", so we don't lose each other, so you would go too far away from me.

"The path ahead of you" "I shall light it up" "I'm your "SHINING STAR"."

Guy, no word needs to be said, you simply read and understand...

AAAAA, fine! I will *continue to cry my eyes out*, Eichi wants to light Wataru road ahead.

To Wataru, the little actor, the little clown. Eichi is out there, writing the script for him. Wataru want Eichi too, as at first he was unsure, but now? He wants to lead the way, he wants a future with Wataru.

So he'll light the way, he'll become Wataru's "Shining star".

"If you were to lose your way, I would certainly guide you back"

Like a lost ship in the sea, Eichi will be his lighthouse, leading Wataru back to land.

"You just need to believe me, and take a step forward"

I love you as my beloved idol, I love to show you're talent to the world out there, and let them know how beautiful you are. So please put your trust in me.

"Oh, SHINING STAR" "Our world is such a cold, yet kind place, continuing to revolve" "So in oder to arrive at a new tomorrow"

Eichi is still insecure about life, he had been taught that he'll have to stand up for himself. He had been taught that this place was cold and lonely.

Yet he was able to find love. Eichi was not so sure if that love would stay for long, but it did change him.

The world that he thought was a cold and terrible place was actually warm and full of joy.

He's not so sure to accept this love, despite that, he wants it to stay for as long as it can. Because of it, he was able to continue to live on, and arrive at the moment when he thought he was already dead by that time.

The lyrics repeat themselves, showing Eichi's determent to become a shining star, as bright as Wataru, so he can stay next to him.

"Oh, SHINING STAR" "Underneath this starry sky" "An unknown, neverending path continues" "And for your sake" "I'll keep on shining" "I'll be "SHINING STAR"."

AND NOW, Welcome our next Eichi's solo:

Crystal Pleasure !!!

Before we get into the analysis, I just want you to know. SHINING STAR had a soft and chill beat, it was slow and calm but also sad and a little misery once you read through the lyrics.

BUT HIS SECOND SOLO? Crystal Pleasure?

It had a jazz-like 90s vibe and such a happy beat! It shows his change, that he is no longer fighting for his life but actually filled with joy with the new and warm future where the path is now clear to him.

"Crystal Pleasure, let's burn some Crystal Pleasure into those eyes" "Crystal Pleasure, there's so many Crystal Pleasure, over and over again."

The beginning was POP!

Anyway, the first song was about shining stars, and this time, it Crystal.

Both are kira kira but one is up in the sky and one is down to the ground.

I got a little confused but I guess I'll use both meanings. Crystal doesn't just mean a type of gem or quartz, it too means glass, depending on the way you use it.

It is a "crystal quartz" but it can also be a "crystal clear glass".

If we're talking about the crystal gems that is, then the meaning is quite clean, since crystal is being used in decorating important places and objects.

To make something beautiful is to decorate it with shining gems.

The meaning/symbolization of those shining crystals is "transcendence and the light of the heaven". Yes, all over Eichi and Fine theme isn't it.

Now, I won't let you wait any longer, let's get into the song, shall we:

"The world is flooding with entertainment (competing for stardom)" "And as they compete, they become more and more extreme, wanting to be chosen" "Even so, those pure eyes remain as they seek" And all the white and black that I emit to be stared at dazzlingly"

It was not just about the idol industry, Eichi was trying to tell a story here.

That "they" was someone. Guess who? Wataru Hibiki!

The lines: "As they compete, they become more and more extreme" really stick out to me.

A silly jester, a genius, who wanted to learn from trick to trick and he was able to learn them quickly given that he was a kind of genius. An Eccentric member.

He is an actor, standing on stage, waiting for a director to choose him, to write him a script.

Eichi could feel the eyes of Wataru, which seek for a screenwriter, to write Wataru a brand new story, a brand new world.

Eichi then accepted Wataru's invitation and decided to be the one to give him his new plays. A new role, a new life, a new love.

"Let's take my hand because it's a miracle that I was able to meet you in the brightness" "And I hope to repose to that miracle of meeting you with my whole life ahead of me"

After all that time, after a suicide state of him, being saved by Wataru was like a gift from god. He knew that he had such a love for idols, that love almost died down, being forgotten but then Wataru came, reminding Eichi about why he was here in the first place.

"Meet you in the brightness" is like an angel, visiting Eichi by the window. The light from the window makes Wataru look bright, like the angel he is to Eichi.

Moreover, this line has some resemblance to the symbolization of crystal, remember it? It's "Transcendence and the light of the heaven" .

( What's that? Sound like the tiled of this song is already about Wataru? The whole song is! What can I say more than the homies are at it again!!!)

Wataru was his savior, and Eichi hoped that he could repay this gratefulness to him.

Here, it may be minor but it was a welcoming change! Knowing Eichi, he would likely try to repay Wataru with lots of stuff. His ways of love are to buy people things and make a big event just for something so small yet it was precious to him, so it was worth it.

Did I mention the fact that Eichi bought a WHOLD AS* pyramid for him just because Wataru joke? Yeh...I'm not lying.

But in this line: "hope to repose - with my whole life ahead of me"

It changes, somethings change. Staying with Wataru for long enough, his view of looking changes. Now, instead of buying him something, Eichi uses his life and quality time as a gift to Wataru.

Eichi "Buying things for you is want I want to, but then again, maybe, spending some time with you is the real meaningful gift" Tenshouin.

Also, a small detail but the "Let's take my hand" part, did you know that in Tempest, this adorable little detail takes place:

"I want to connect all the sparkling moments and make you happy" "Ah, as long as I am allowed to live, let me give you happy dreams"

The first line is when Eichi wants to give Wataru happiness, but the second? A little happy mix with sad.

"As long as I am allowed to live"

Eichi mentions his sickness, will the sickness kill him first or will he overcome it. He doesn't know, but as long as he's healthy, when he's still here, he'll do everything to make Wataru happy.

The times may run out, but before I die, giving you happiness is the thing that will satisfy my near-death soul.

To fulfill Wataru's dream is the first thing to do on his little bucket list.

"I think I know how to charm you ( this unyielding stardom )" "So if there's something I can do here, I vow to protect it"

Bit confused, but I read it ten times over and understood that Eichi finally accepted Wataru's love, he vowed to protect it, the love and hope that bloomed from this new relationship.

"Now, I want you to look forward to it, and determine the value with your eyes" "This dream, love, and freedom that I draw now became strong and full of color"

I would like to have a call back to another line in this song, it was "all the white and black that I emit" given that these lyrics are talking about the freedom of Eichi's soul.

From a soulless human with just black and white, now his world is "full of color", filled with love and hope, this dream that seems to be lost has come back to life.

"Let's visit you into the brilliance, towards the tomorrow you desire" "Let's be a little greedy, there's no need to hold back"

Eichi will give Wataru the stage to shine, into the world of light that Wataru wants.

This dream was never about Eichi, and that's what makes it about him.

Since the day Wataru saved him, his love of idols has once again come back to life. Being able to make Wataru's dream come true was Eichi's desire all along.

He views that his wish is a bit too greedy, knowing that it will take a tedious process, but he won't stop, he has been in the darkness for too long. Now he wishes to see the light and get used to it so it won't blind him.

The wish to see Wataru shining like a star with his own two eyes. So Wataru, please don't hesitate, though I'm quite the greedy, I hope you'll be happy to see me, staying here with you, your happiness is my light.

"Connecting the precious time, we are the protagonists on this stage" "While blessed by countless stars, let us sing our never-ending dreams"

So some of you may not know about this but, interesting information: Both Eichi and Wataru, one ( or 99 times more ) admit that they're the villain of the stage.

Yes! BOTH.

Eichi was in pain and after the war, he admitted all the faults he had and told himself that he was the evil villain of the show, even long after the war ended, he still thought it that way.

Wataru is a bit different, the exact time was never mentioned, but clues are all over the place. Wataru admitted to Tomoya that he usually plays the role of villain. And, it made sense since Wataru passed constraint to him being asked to play tricks, he likes to do tricks and magic, but the people, they always ask for more.

Wataru was scared, but he continued anyway, he continued to learn new tricks, but that was not enough

He didn't go mad and start taking the role of a villain though, it was never clarified. But I don't think that was the case, not at all.

Wataru was more likely to take the role of villain because he wanted to step back and out of the light of the stage. Of course, he is still there, but not in a heroic way anymore. He didn't mean to but he wished people to look away from him more often than before, though, in the end, it was quite the opposite, he made friends and lots of people admitted him.

Even Wataru never expect this to happen. In the "Phantom Thieves VS Detectives" story, Epilogue 3, he said this: "But believe it or not, the amount of friends and acquaintances I've made since entering Yumenosaki Academy have surprisingly increased in size."

They're both villain in their own story, but later on, after many hardships and challenges, they learn and understand.

The two are no longer the villains but the protagonist, the protagonist of a story where they get to stand together on the stage.

And with the Fine now, they'll stand together, with Tori and Yuzuru, sing the never-ending symphony of their dreams.

Here comes, my favorite:

"Determination alone is futile, but you are there, the one who saved me is you" "Because your passionate gaze gives me the meaning of life"

Eichi literally went: "Only by trying is not enough, if not for you who had saved me from the darkness, I would've been gone." to Wataru.

Also about how Wataru gives him the biggest motivation to keep living and doesn't "kick the bucket" due to sickness or several suicidal attempts.

And, it ends with other lines got repeated:

"Let's take my hand because it's a miracle that I was able to meet you in the brightness" "And I hope to repose to that miracle of meeting you with my whole life ahead of me" "I want to connect all the sparkling moments and make you happy" "Ah, as long as I am allowed to live, let me give you happy dreams forever"

"Crystal Pleasure, let's burn some Crystal Pleasure into those eyes" "Crystal Pleasure, there's so many Crystal Pleasure, over and over again."

Alright, this is the end of part 1, Eichi's solo song. We'll now move to part 2, which I'll make in another post.

So I want you to know that I wrote this with all my heart that I pulled out of my chest. I love them from the bottom heart of my.

I don't need you to forgive Eichi or forget what he did in the past, this whole analysis was not made for that purpose, I just need you to understand that he did, in fact, lots of bad things in the past and he got his punish, it a punish to live on, to learn and suffer with the future. But Wataru was there, helping him out, so he's not that scare anymore.

If anyone ask me to tell them they're homo but without telling them they're homo, I'll show them this long a*s paragraph ( I'm so proud of myself for writing this but also asking myself that I should be out there making money instead...but I'm feeling great after written this so...maybe it not that bad )

THANK YOU FOR READING!

Part 2 will be coming out soon? I mean, I'll put the link in if I finish it...hopefully...

[gvtted-ratz]

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Look Outside The Window

Jay Merrick/Skully x M!Reader

Last Edited: July 4, 2021 12:03 AM

TW: stalking, obsessive behavior

Requested: no

AO3 LINK -> HERE

Notes: these used 2 be posted but i deleted them after some comments made me hate them. however, i found them again recently n may end up adding more. i also do not hate them anymore. tws will be in the notes before every chapter and some will be put in the additional tags. the character is also in the notes/summary before each chapter. (The 1st 4 r old n unedited)

You had needed an out. You needed to get away from home. Your parents did nothing but trap you there. You couldn’t make your own decisions or even buy anything with your own money without them talking you down or insulting you over it. They wanted you to live with them and go by their rules. They didn’t care about what you wanted in life and only saw you as their “little boy”. You weren’t a child anymore; you were a young adult. They were constantly trying to infantilize you and you hated it. You were a young adult and you needed to branch out, make mistakes, and move on. So that’s what you did. You left home after finding a house-sitting job.

The job would last a few months, which was odd to you. Why house sit for months on end? The owners didn’t tell you anything. You didn’t even call. You emailed them and they emailed you. Every interaction with the couple was through emails. Or at least, you think the person messaging you is in a relationship. It sounded that way. One part of the email said, “We’ll be leaving the house to you. My partner and I are going on vacation for a few months. You can watch and live in the house while there. Your pay will be sent to you in a check via mail. The groceries will be delivered to you once a week. May you watch it carefully.” The last part gave you a sense of foreboding, almost like you should be watching out for something out in the house deep in the woods.

When you had arrived at the house, you were pleasantly surprised to find it very tidy. Everything was spotless in the two-story home. It held four bedrooms and three bathrooms. There was a dining room, living room, family room, kitchen, foyer, dressing area, and a nook. Overall, a large house. Well, a large house for a simple couple. Perhaps the couple has quite a bit of money? Especially if they’re going on vacation for a few months and are paying you a large sum to simply watch the lonely house in the woods.

The first few days were fine. Nothing really happened other than the feeling of being watched. What creeped you out the most though was that you never heard any birds. It was always silent outside. Silent and still. There was barely any wind thanks to the dense forestry. Despite that, the feeling of being watched continued. Sometimes, though, you would hear gentle buzzing in your ears. It reminded you of bees but it sounded more like an old tape. Whenever you heard it, it seemed like static covered your eyesight. You could still see, but the static was like a film over your sight. Whenever you would look in the mirror, your eyes seemed to have a slight glaze over them. Of course, there wasn’t much you could do and no amount of searching the internet seemed to help.

By the second week, you were hearing birds. There was something… off about them. They didn’t sound lively. They sounded hollow. Almost like something was mimicking them. You would hear them next to whichever window you were closest to as well. It was like something was by the window, mimicking the birds only when you’re there. It didn’t happen all throughout the day either. It only happened when you weren’t doing something. If you were to turn off the television, ready to get started on a meal, the chirping and singing would start up. Because of how hollow and synthetic it sounded, shivers would run all over your body. It didn’t help that the static over your vision seemed to get slightly worse whenever it would happen; the buzzing in your ears also seemed to get louder. At night, however, there was no chirping or singing. The static seemed to have tripled at that point though and the buzzing was so loud that you could barely hear your heartbeat and breathing.

By the first month, you were looking outside constantly. The bird noises seemed to happen constantly by now and notes started to appear around your home. When you would try to sleep, the hollow tune of the birds would be there despite the fact that no birds were out. The buzzing was so loud that it was all you would hear. The static was so bad that it completely covered your sight; it was like looking at a static screen. The notes terrified you. There were never any footprints in the snow outside and you were the only one in the home. You believed, at first, that you were writing them. Maybe you had been half asleep and wrote them. But that changed when the notes didn’t match your handwriting and started to be… weird.

You look handsome today. One said. Do you like the birds? They don’t seem very lively though. Another read. I wish you would see me. You always know I’m there thanks to the static and buzzing. Maybe we’ll meet soon. More and more would come in. They were always placed where you’d see them. A window. The fridge. Even on the television. They were taped there, all signed with an S. One was even on your bedroom door. How did someone get in and out without leaving any footprints or any evidence behind? You didn’t know but it started to make you close every curtain and try to raise the volume of everything, trying so hard to drown out the unlively birds.

Today was just like the last few. The static over your vision makes it hard to see right with how thick it is. The buzzing in your ears is loud, but not loud enough to drown out the synthetic birds. You make breakfast for yourself, dressed in some simple sleepwear. The breakfast you make doesn’t take too long, just some scrambled eggs and toast with jam. You eat in silence; well, not entirely in silence thanks to the buzzing and birds. When you finish your breakfast, you wash the plate and other utensils you had used to make your meal. Once done, you decided to do some light stretching in the living room. There wasn’t much you could do in the home. Outside was too cold for you to explore the wilderness without sustaining frostbite.

All of the curtains were closed except for one. It was the closest to the television. You were going to close it before spotting the note taped on the box. You stare at the note before tearing it off the screen. It reads: Look Outside The Window . You pause, staring at the note. The buzzing slowly starts to get louder just as the static over your sight starts to worsen. The birds, however, stop chirping. There’s only the buzzing. Slowly, you look towards the window. Nothing. Nothing but still snow.

A small smile worms its way only your face, mocking. A small, forced chuckle leaves your lips before you turn around, ready to head back into the kitchen to make some tea to calm your beating heart. You freeze though when you see the figure standing in the doorway. The beige-orange coat covers most of their figure while the black-ish blue hood covers their face. They have on a pair of gloves, the same colour as their hood. Their pants are a simple pair of jeans while their shoes seem to be black combat boots. Seeing a figure in your home is terrifying, yes. It wouldn’t have been as scary if the figure didn’t have a mask on. The mask was an off-white-ish colour with black eyeholes, high black eyebrows, and a box shape for the mouth, somewhat resembling teeth.

You both stand there, no one moving. The buzzing is so loud now that you can barely hear your own heart and breathing. The static is so bad that you can barely see the figure clearly. “IT’s NiCe To FiNaLlY mEeT yOu, [Redacted],” They, or he, says. His voice sounded weird. It was like a mix of different pitches and he couldn’t decide which one was best and went with all of them. You didn’t think though, only acted. You quickly dropped the note and fled the living room. You could hear him following you as you ran for the back door. You slam into it, trying to unlock it. “YoU dOn’T wAnT tO gO oUtSiDe! It’S tOo CoLd FoR yOu. EsPeCiAlLy WiTh HoW yOu’Re DrEsSeD!” You don’t listen though, not even as he slowly approaches you. With a final turn of the knob, the door is flung open and you run out into the snow.

It’s cold and stings your feet. You run and run and run. You don’t once look back, too scared that he may be right there. You don’t hear him following you, but that’s due to the buzzing. It’s so loud now that it’s all you can hear. You’re basically running blind; the static is so thick that seeing your surroundings is almost impossible. You stumble around mostly, hands in front of you so you don’t run face-first into any trees.

You’re unsure of how long you have been running. All you know for sure is that you can’t see anything anymore, the buzzing is starting to give you a headache, you feel like you’re sweating buckets beside the fact that your legs, arms, fingers, and toes are going numb. It isn’t long before you collapse. You’re breathing heavily, panting in the snow. You can feel yourself shaking despite feeling so hot, so overheated. Your hair sticks to your forehead as you continue to sweat. You try to move, to drag yourself somewhere but your body refuses. You lay there, your eyes open despite them wanting to close. The static is still strong, just like the buzzing. They scream danger but your body refuses to listen.

As more time passes, you feel yourself slowly going numb, your eyes fluttering every now and then, trying to close. The static slowly starts to fade away until it’s back to the normal, barely there, state. The buzzing fades into a gentle hum, it barely being able to be heard. You can hear how heavy your breaths are and see the pure white of the snow. One of your hands is in front of you, pale and slowly turning blue. Frostbite will, or already has, set in. Were you going to die out here? Here, all alone. Nothing to your name. No one looking for you besides your parents. Who would find your body? Or would the masked man hide your body away, letting it decay somewhere?

You can hear the crunch of the snow and gentle humming coming your way. It seems the man has come for you. His pace is slow, not at all rushed. Soon enough, he walks into your field of vision. He crouches down, sitting on the balls of his feet. His gloved hand is brought up before it comes through your hair. “LoOk At YoU. A sHiVeRiNg, HaNdSoMe MeSs. As MuCh As I lIkE hOw YoU lOoK rIgHt NoW, bEiNg VuLnErAbLe AnD aLl, YoU’rE tUrNiNg BlUe,” As soon as those words leave his mouth, he scoops you up in his arms, holding you close to him tightly. “DoN’t WoRrY. I’lL tAkE gOoD cArE oF yOu. I lOvE yOu ToO mUcH nOt To. YoU’lL bE sAfElY tUcKeD aWaY iN tHaT hOuSe, WiTh Me By YoUr SiDe To KeEp YoU cOmPaNy. NoW dOeSn’T tHaT sOuNd NiCe?”