#also the rent is kind of insane for a place like this someone get me out of HEREEEE
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i want to move sooo bad because frankly my living situation is not very slay (for example, no hot water except in the shower) but also i would genuinely rather kill myself than go through the process of finding a new place to live again. so i guess i'll just suffer
#literally how are my options freeze to death live with my parents again or beg random facebook people if i can move in with them#also the rent is kind of insane for a place like this someone get me out of HEREEEE#ik ben ook zo tering slecht in hospiteren he ik heb het letterlijk acht keer gedaan en ben nooit uitgekozen heb deze kamer van een vriendin#😭😭😭😭😭 someone come get me#personal
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So, in Busman’s Homeymoon, Lord Peter buys Harriet Vane a mink cloak worth 950 pounds (according to the Dowager Duchess’ journal entry), but he buys Tallboys for “only” 650 pounds.
Even bearing in mind that real estate really did used to be cheaper, do you understand how that is possible? Or how to find out more about relative purchasing power? I used an online calculator website which gave me some figures, but it still seems insane that one could buy an entire Elizabethan farmhouse for 2/3 the price of a garment! Very curious to learn from others who understand this better than I do.
Ah, I see my esteemed colleague @oldshrewsburyian has also had some interesting thoughts on this, so I'll link that here as well before I begin.
So, it's a legitmate question, and there's no catch-all simple answer (in the gotcha sense of 'why didn't i know that bit of cultural Truth'), but there are mitigating factors that take it from a ridiculous price comparison, to merely outlandish. Even taking into account that the coat is quoted in guineas, not pounds, and that PW says the bank valued Talboys at £800 via a mortgage (the paid price was a discount, for paying in cash quickly, which is Plot Relevant), it gets us to roughly the same place, value-wise. Or shall we say PRICE-wise, rather than value, as I'll get into below. There's several factors at play here - they mainly relate to class, and spending power:
-The house is Not That Great, in terms of the kind of property that PW would usually be buying. I mean it is still a large-ish house, big enough to have 2 adults and small children in, but it's not what would be on his radar normally. The only reason they know about it, it that it's near a place where HARRIET grew up as a child. It's not getting any high marks in particular Beauty, Convenience, or Quality - the main reason HV's drawn to it is sentiment, rather than anything else. They both know that they will have to significantly add to it, and alter it, in order for it to be a comfortable home. That would usually be out-of-budget for someone in Harriet's position, who would expect to buy something that meets her needs 'as-is'. Most people looking at buying that house would be Harriets not Peters, so it might be a tough sell.
-The house has no power, and limited plumbing: There's dark references to DRAINS by the dowager duchess, it's entirely possible that this house has no modern plumbing at all - they make the comparison that the huge palace the Wimseys grew up in wasn't plumbed until recently, but then again they do have about 800 servants, whereas Talboys is just a regular house: they will have Bunter alone (at first), with an assist from Mrs Ruddle. There's mention of "a cistern" with some basic valves, but the scullery is mentioned as having a copper, from which hot water is "scooped into a large bath-can" - a copper being, simply, a large metal basin over a fire, in effect. No running hot water, maybe no flushable loos - it's a factor. They also talk specifially about having to electrify Talboys themselves - it's candles and lamps until then. It's fancy camping. By the mid-1930s, a lot of middle-class buyers would expect a little more convenience in both water and wiring, unless they had significant support staff, which Talboys would not be expected to house.
-There's probably no farm! It's a farm house - not a wider land purchase. People like PW's brother the Duke are wealthy primarily because they own land, not because of the big palace they have (which eats money, rather than generates it). The land is what gives them spending power, because other people are paying them rent to live on it, farm on it, or both. PW's own personal 'younger sibling' wealth is also mentioned somewhere to be primarily in real estate (assumed to be in London) - sad to say: he's a landlord, and that's why he's rich. Talboys, on the other hand, as a purchase, would not, in almost any way, be expected to generate revenue through either farming, agriculture, or charging rent. Until they invent house flipping in 80 years, or until the motorway goes through in 40 years, there's not much expectation that Talboys would increase all that much in value.
-Lastly, there's a massive disparity in what The Market Will Bear when we compare a basic residence vs a luxury item (like a mink coat) in the mid-1930s. This is not particular to that time, though. Like any first-year economics student will tell you, the price of something is not it's intrinsic value, it's what someone is WILLING to pay for it. If someone is willing to pay such a price, that's the price it will be. So, we're not comapring Objects, we're comparing Buyers: the the main purchasers of a slightly run-down farmhouse located nowhere special are Harriets, and main purchasers of mink coats are Peters. Talboys is priced for Harriets. The mink coat is priced for Peters.
Compare for example, a contemporary parallel: the Hermes Birkin bag. It's a leather handbag with a starting retail price of about USD 11,400. Just for the bag. Then, you have fancier versions of the fancy bag, eg wikipedia tells me one version sold at auction for USD 380,000 in Hong Kong in 2017. Now, the Harriets of today are not buying a Hermes Birkin handbag, but they are probably trying to buy slightly run-down houses outside urban centers for (one hopes) slightly less than 380k. The Wimseys of the worlds are clearly buying Birkin bags. In that way, it's actually pretty easy to get to a place where Person A might buy a single luxury item for X pounds, and Person B might buy a whole residence for X pounds, and neither feel like they'd done something insane. The key here is in a Wimsey/Vane marriage, they run up against this concept immediately, and repeatedly.
There's a good reason the first epistolary section of the novel is almost entirely taken up with money chat - the ring, the purchase of shirts from Burlington Arcade, the marriage settlement, the gift from the bride to the groom, the mink coat, the bitchy exchange between Helen and Harriet about HV being allowed "six free copies of her book" to distribute. These people come from 2 fundamentally different experiences of the world. They might have gotten engaged using the word 'Magistra', specifically to emphasise their fundamental equality (in the context of learning and the mind, to begin with), but it can't be denied: there's gaps that need to be bridged. They both know parts of their married life will be spent in attempting to do that, hopefully to their mutual satisfaction. Mention of a mink coat for 950 guineas is a nice, neat shorthand for illustrating what's still at play between them here.
#dorothy l sayers#and this isn't even getting into the delicious things like#a) helen being considered unspeakably vulgar by calling attention to the price of HV's ring but#b) peter being considered friendly and polite by openly stating what he paid for talboys#like these are some delicate class rules at play here! when to mention money and when NOT to mention money! context matters!#here's so much going on - this is (I feel) what DLS means when she says she couldn't simply marry them off#they'd have to really engage with what that would mean#and then she wrote 2 whole novels about it#replies#fromthedeskofcripslock
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Okay but could u write something fluffy with soap. Tbh I feel like he'd be the best friend to lovers kinda thing.
AND YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT i love friends to lovers so much guys u don't understand :(
also, i realize now that this isn't super fluff-heavy!! apologies </3 i got carried away.
johnny "soap" mactavish x gn!reader
warnings: horrid scottish slang from a non-scot (i am sincerely sorry), my writing from 2 am on three hours of sleep (also sincerely sorry)
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-best friend to lovers with soap except there wasn't really a specific moment you two become each other's. it just... kind of happened.
-growing up with him and supporting his dreams to be a soldier while he supported yours. the first time he came back from a mission, you were the first person he wanted to see once he was allowed back home.
-you used to fuss over any injuries he got from being himself as a little kid, and the worry only heightened when he'd come back from missions with real wounds.
-his mom would always have a cheeky smile seeing you two together. she never said it, but it was always hinted in the way she acted. she was always talking to johnny about how you were such an impressive and loyal young person, often doting on you and insisting you stay for dinner (which, of course, you couldn't refuse).
-the first time johnny started dating someone, it was hard for you to deal with, but it got easier the more it happened.
-what you didn't know was johnny would take it even worse whenever you told him you started dating someone. he'd act all proud and protective in a brotherly fashion, but behind closed doors he was scowling to himself without knowing why.
-one day, you're visiting him in his apartment after he had been away for a few months. you're strangely more subdued than usual, and of course he notices.
-"hey," he calls to you softly, a strange contrast to his usual loud self. "what's wrong?"
-"nothing, don't worry about it," you reassure him, fiddling with the little plushie he got you from his travels--one of the many trinkets he's gotten for you. he always says it's to make up for the fact that he won't be there to bother you in person, but it's actually because every precious little thing he sees reminds him of you.
-"ah ken you're lying," he tells you in a warning tone.
-"i got broken up with, is all," you admit, turning your head away from him.
-"what?" he booms incredulously. how could anyone leave you? "is he insane? after getting an apartment together?"
-"there was this girl from his work and, well, i don't know," you shrugged, fighting back the tears you thought had dried days ago. "he wants the apartment. i mean, he did pay for more of it so-"
-"come live with me."
-it was your turn to be in disbelief, turning your head to face him with a confused look on your face.
-"what?"
-"th' place is empty with me at work. no rent, 's away from yer stupid ex, and ye get to be around me," he added jokingly. you rolled your eyes, but how could you not take him up on his offer?
-from then on, you're living with your best friend and taking care of the place while he's away. if you're staying rent-free, the least you could do was try and be as neat as possible (he insisted it was okay with the place looked like it was lived in, but you refused).
-when he'd come back from his missions, he'd still shower you in little gifts he'd get along the way when possible. you always tried to have some kind of meal ready for him, too.
-"you're always cooking for us, a'm feeling like i should do it sometime," he says, already knowing the answer to that proposal.
-"absolutely not." (the one time you let him cook was when you were both in college. he caught a pan on fire, somehow.)
-"you hurt me!"
-"oh, please."
-eventually, the routine becomes more and more domestic to the two of you. soap's mother always calls out how you two are living like a married couple, but the both of you just laugh it off like neither of you have noticed.
-you eventually notice changes in johnny's gifts. it went from gag gifts and plushies to little pieces of jewelry or intricate pens. sometimes you even think you catch him staring at you, but maybe it was just wishful thinking. he hasn't mentioned being interested in anyone in a while, either.
-it all comes to a head when johnny doesn't come home the day he said he would. sure, it happened at times, but this was the longest amount of time he's been late.
-eventually, he finally walks through the door with too many injuries, a bruise on his lip, and walking with a rough limp.
-you tend to him immediately, of course, interrogating him on what his doctor told him he should do to take care of his healing wounds. the rest of the night goes just like how the others have gone, with you making sure he's fed, warm, and resting.
-by the time you're closing his window for him, you're absolutely exhausted. you had barely gotten any sleep because of johnny's delayed return. normally, you would've let him do more for himself, but the extent of his injuries was worrying you.
-"ye ken am alright, aye?" he asks you in that low, rich voice, searching your eyes for something other than worry and sleepiness. he's sitting up in his bed by the time you walk back to him (despite the fact that you told him to lay down).
-"you're injured. you came home late."
-"what? ye have no faith in me?" he mocks hurt, trying to put a smile on your face or at least get an exhale of amusement out of you, but you weren't in the mood. he could tell by the way you didn't respond and the permanent but subtle frown on your face.
-"i know you're good at your job, johnny," you finally say, ready to call it a night.
-"good. then ye know i'll always come back home to ye, aye?"
-you swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded, too tired to overthink about what he just said.
-"come here," he orders quietly, reaching out to you.
-gently, he coaxes you into laying next to him. the last time you ever slept in the same bed as johnny was when you two were kids. you were having a sleepover at his house with you in his bed and him on a spare mattress. you had a nightmare so bad it woke johnny up, but instead of brushing it off and making a joke of it, he jumped into bed with you and hugged you protectively. he said it was a good way to train for becoming a soldier, and you couldn't help but snort with laughter.
-just like back then, you had an easy time falling asleep in his arms, now.
-you woke up that morning well-rested and still encased in johnny's arms, which was impressive considering the fact that most times he sleeps in a position that looks like he flung himself across the bed.
-when he wakes up, you sit up with the intention getting breakfast up and running, but johnny doesn't like that idea.
-"johnny, it's almost eleven. we have to eat something," you chide, trying to get out of his impossibly strong grasp.
-"ye get all sad when am gone but yer trying to leave, now?"
-"well, i suppose if you're well enough to joke, you're well enough to clean the rest of the house and cook, yeah?"
-he lets go of you immediately in a comical fashion, and you have to catch yourself as you hurl out of bed from the built momentum of your escape. you look back at him with a seriously? look on your face as he laughs at your near fall.
-"doesn't that hurt?" you question him, remembering the bruise and cut near his lips and throat.
-"maybe a little," he admits. "kiss it better?"
-the grin on his face makes you think he was setting you up for that one. how could he be so confident?
-just like the times when his mother called you two a married couple, you laughed it off and headed to the kitchen to start breakfast.
-that wasn't the only time johnny's behavior changed noticeably. now, his longing stares at you were more blatant than ever. he'd hold you by the waist if he was moving past you and even told someone flirting with him "oh, i've got someone at home," while he was on call with you on the other end.
-what more could you do than accept it? it wasn't like you didn't like it, anyway.
-one night, you're both in the dining room with you standing and him sitting down on a chair. his hands are on your waist with his legs on either side of you as you reapply a band-aid to his temple (something he could very well do on his own, but any excuse to be close to you, right?).
-as you finish putting it on, your attention draws itself to his lip nearly healed. gently ghosting your finger across the barely visible bruise, you murmur, "good to see this one's basically healed."
-"awe, but it isn't," he corrects you, a slight pout on his face.
-"it isn't?"
-"no, still hurts like hell." you should've seen this one coming. "kiss it better?"
-"that's the second time you've asked me," you were rolling your eyes as you withdrew your hand from his face, but he caught your hand in his.
-"am being serious, (n/n), only a kiss'll make it better," he insists, that damn smile back on his face.
-you couldn't help but wonder if he was actually being serious or just pulling your leg.
-"how could you be so sure?" you challenged him.
-"seen it in ma dreams." oh, that was a funny one.
-"you dream about kissing people to heal your wounds?" you ask through the remnants of your laughter, but he's still looking at you with that same far-off smile on his face.
-"no, just of you."
-there's a pause between the two of you as you process what he said.
-"oh."
-he squeezes your hand with an expectant look in his eyes, like he knew you were head over heels just as much as he was for you.
-you cleared your throat and tried to ignore the searing burning in your cheeks. "well, i guess if you dreamt it, it must be true," you tell him.
-he places his unoccupied hand under your chin and guides your face to his, but he doesn't close the gap. it was like he was waiting--making sure you really wanted to go through with this.
-but you do, so you press your lips to his and he lets go of your face to put his palm on the small of your back, pulling you impossibly closer toward him.
-later that night, when you're back in his arms watching your guys' favorite show and he's calling his mother to tell her the news, you can hear her shrieks of excitement coming through the phone.
-the only thing you don't hear is when she asks, "when's th' wedding?"
-"soon, hopefully," he looks at you leaning against him, head pressed against his shoulder and arm clinging to his like it was meant to be. "but there's no rush. a've waited this long, aye?"
#call of duty imagine#call of duty x reader#cod x reader#cod imagine#call of duty x you#soap x reader#johnny soap mactavish x reader#johnny mactavish x reader#johnny mactavish x you#johnny mactavish imagine#johnny soap mactavish imagine#soap imagine#cod mw x reader#soap x y/n#johnny mactavish x y/n#rarawrites
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My grandfather was killed in a hit and run accident in 1978.
His mother and sister struggled with life after that. They decided to go on a trip across the United States together to get away from things for a while.
I discovered this trip when I was going through photo albums and suddenly saw a place I recognized.
The Salt Lake Temple.
They went to many places during that trip. But there was something truly special to me that, in one of the worst seasons of their lives, they ended up at the temple.
I served part of my mission at Temple Square. I was waiting for a visa to Brazil that I began to think was never coming. I had a truly horrendous time in the MTC babysitting a district of Elders who spent weeks on end bullying me and tearing down my self-esteem. I was told directly by someone, I forget who now, that I was being sent there to recover. And when I realized that the mission had no young Elders in it at all, that it was only Sisters and senior couples, I came to appreciate what that meant.
I had so many wild interactions there with so many people. Some of them were strange, like the guy who viewed the Book of Mormon as proof of alien interactions with humans. There were moments of heartbreak, like the woman who was in tears at the Christus statue who attacked us when we checked in on her. There were moments of pure delight, like when an LDS family with two young daughters came to that same Christus statue. The oldest girl, no older than 4 or 5, squealed "JESUS" and ran to the Savior's feet, little sister in tow. Whenever I hear someone mention the teaching to become as a little child, she is exactly who I think of.
There were also moments that were meant solely for me, like when I met the first Sister to ever be called to the Boston mission I had hoped to go to to wait for my visa. Boston has a large Brazilian population, many of whom are members of the Church. I had begged in prayer to be sent there and was told by other people it wouldn't happen because "Sisters don't go there." I had an entire conversation with the woman who was going to be that change. It seemed cruel to me at the time, dangling the carrot of something I wanted right in front of my face. In time, I've realized it was so I would remember that God does miracles and is aware of the desires of my heart, even if it means I don't get what I want. Someone needed to exercise enough faith to push that door open for women. I put my full weight behind it, and I can be just as proud that it opened for someone else.
But some of my favorite people I met there were people who just made me laugh. I met a Jewish convert from New York who told us his conversion story, how what drew him in was the Plan of Salvation. He summarized it in a New York accent in a voice I can still hear in my mind: "So you're a god, eventually. But can you pay RENT?!"
One of my favorite people I met was a Scottish convert named Agnes who was doing the Mormon trail across the US, beginning in New England and ending in Utah. She was a much older woman and told us all about her pilgrimage, and how she had cuddled with the oxen at the baptismal font in the Manhattan New York Temple. (I've been there. You enter into the baptistry on face level with them, or did the last time I was there.) She shared her testimony with us, and I'll never forget what she said.
She explained that the story of Joseph Smith was really hard to get her mind around. It truly is an insane set of asks: angels, gold plates, polygamy, and all the rest. She talked about how she came to accept it—not through any kind of empirical evidence or proof, but through faith and what that looked like.
For her, it was the recognition that being LDS was the best way she had ever encountered to live an excellent life. She said that the worst case scenario she could imagine is one where God would say to her, "You know that whole business with Joseph Smith was a load of crock, right? But you lived such a good life, I have to let you in anyway."
That has always stayed with me. Agnes was one of many people who came to the Square looking for something. I saw people come there looking for faith, or a fight, and truly everything in between. And it's only now that I'm older and wiser that I see something clearly now that I couldn't see then.
Agnes didn't need to come to Temple Square to find faith. She already had a tremendous amount of faith. She, and many others, were looking for conviction. I was at Temple Square long enough to learn you don't get that from a place. While a place like Temple Square can illuminate the possibilities for conviction through the lens of history, it doesn't bestow that conviction through contact or proximity alone. Conviction is made from the materials of your own life and your own choices. Your will, how firmly you place yourself into an immovable and unyielding position, is the measure of your convictions. It comes from within.
Faith is the decision to believe in what you cannot see, and what cannot be proven objectively. That never goes away. Nothing we experience in life, no place we ever visit, will create a shortcut under, over, or around that decision to believe, to trust in God. Faith, at its core, is a decision. The ability to continue making that decision over and over again, under all species of hardship and opposition, is conviction.
Where Jesus walked is nowhere near as important as how Jesus walked, and with whom. The same is true for all of us. Our walk with God might never take us anywhere near a temple because of where God has called us to go. But we are the holiest dwelling places of God on earth—not any of the buildings we've made.
Be a holy place of living faith wherever you are, whatever your circumstances may be. Worship God, no matter what places you can or cannot enter. There is more than one way to access a temple. One way is to enter a place that people invite God to dwell. The other is to become that place. There can be no separation from God where communion never ceases. It is the refuge that is unassailable by others for as long as the person wills it so. The torch within will not go out.
The temple is not special because it has some holy essence that springs forth out of nothing, to passively be absorbed by others. The temple is special because it directs people to Jesus Christ, who is the giver of healing and peace. The temple is just a building. It's Jesus Christ that is the true power behind it all, whose objective is to make you, me, and every person you know the holiest creature you've ever beheld. You are the end goal.
#mormon#lds#mormonism#tumblrstake#the church of jesus christ of latter day saints#religion#faith#queerstake#christianity#lds temple#temple square#Alma 32
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rambling about songs my brain associates with isat (pt. 1)
[woe, spoilers be upon ye!]
i have a 250+ song isat playlist. I am unhealthily obsessed with finding new songs to put in it. Here's a few that make me go absolutely batshit insane.
I've already rambled about this one on my art account a while back, but this song is so insanely loop-coded....
I'm standing on a stage Of fear and self-doubt It's a hollow play, But they'll clap anyway
You could give me any song that has some kind of reference to plays or theatre and I could probably find a way to make it about isat. but specifically this makes me think about twohats and how loop views their place in the world as a performance, a pawn, not even a character but a plot device... yeah
I'm living in an age That calls darkness light Though my language is dead Still the shapes fill my head I'm living in an age Whose name I don't know Though the fear keeps me moving, Still my heart beats so slow
I probably don't have to break this one down for you, but yeah, Island North of Vaugarde, the forgotten language... "still the shapes fill my head" has always in my mind referenced the stars and constellations, and how they're familiar but foreign...
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thanks to @/ricecaqes and their trust ceremony animatic, this song lives in my head rent free. Even just as a whole this song is SO isat for me. literally from the first fucking lines:
Will I know when I’ve gone too far? Or frozen myself in time? An impossible brain with impossible wants Lost and astray, with impossible thoughts
like. it really can't get much more nail on the head than that?
then you got this:
So cold, I’m freezing Every piece of praise and sign that I’m believed in Solid in a crystal ball It bends the waves of the light to mend the rest of my life
and literally the first time I heard this song i paused it and said, out loud, "OH FUCK." Because. it's act 5 siffrin. Like, the slow descent into despair followed by the determination that the only way to perserve the life and the family they love is to keep them with him, to do the exact same thing the king did...
Do you also see your future starting with the farthest part? Live your life to close the space between the end and start And when it’s hard, do you hang onto any chance That you might be in control? That you’re the one who owns
For one, once you reach the end of act 2, you're constantly aware of the head housemaiden being as far as you can go, and then you're planning around it the entire time.
And then, you have. siffrin grasping for any kind of control they can have over the situation, desperately. and failing repeatedly because they simultaneously think that they are undeserving of getting what they ultimately want... yeah...
i won't go into the rest of the lyrics because honestly it's pretty well covered by the animatic but. yeah trust ceremony my sweet beloved.
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rest in peace siffrin no middle no last name, you would have loved the mountain goats.
yeah uh. this one is also pretty high up on songs that make me go "damn that's siffrin alright".
I am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam And no one in her right mind would make my home her home My heart's an autoclave
i think for me it's the idea of siffrin feeling like they're nothing, and even if they are something or someone, they are bad, worse than bad, worthless. also referencing homesickness.... yeah...
When I try to open up to you I get completely lost Houses swallowed by the earth, windows thick with frost And I reach deep down within, but the pathways twist and turn And there's no light anywhere, and nothing left to burn
I mean, this one is also pretty self-evident. siffrin losing hope while being stuck in the house... wanting to connect with the party but being completely uncapable of doing so out of the sheer terror of being left behind... act 5, with the house literally warping...
I dreamt that I was perched atop a throne of human skulls On a cliff above the ocean, howling wind and shrieking seagulls And the dream went on forever, one single static frame Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name
siffrin feels responsible for the loops, every aspect of them. their deaths, their party-member's deaths, their failures, everything. and in the end, all they really wanted was for someone to truly see them? to have a family, to not be left behind and forgotten by the world.... the importance of names and siffrin's name in particular in the story also makes this hit home for me.
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for brevity's sake i'll just start with these three- if people are interested in hearing me justify my insane music choices i'll probably do more.... for now, see ya!
#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#rambling#brain dump#playlist#i love music#im so normal about it!#<- makes playlists for every conceivable circumstance#Spotify
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I Can See You (I)
Series Masterlist/Warnings
Tag List: @jc-winchester @mrsjenniferwinchester @perpetualabsurdity @antisocialcorrupt @heavenlyackles @anixiiee @jackles010378 @suckitands33 @deans-spinster-witch @k-slla @alternativeprincess @spnbaby-67 @cevansbaby-dove @cutedisneygrl (if you would like tagged in this, please send me a message or an ask with the title so I can make sure to keep my tags straight!)
story takes place during filming of season two of supernatural so the ages will make more sense!
switching points of view indicated with italics
a little mini series for you, I hope you like!
All my life, the only thing I ever wanted was to be noticed.
I wanted my parents to notice when I had done well on a test that was hard for me.
I wanted my friends to notice when I was quiet or felt out of the loop.
I desperately wanted that cute guy in my biology class to notice that I had spent the entire semester taking detailed notes just so I could help him study.
I just wanted someone, anyone to notice me.
It was never me though.
It was always my older brother Jared.
It was like he always had to one up me.
Nothing was ever mine.
For example, whenever I would ace a test, Jared would somehow be offered some prestigious award for academics.
He hung out with all the popular guys, and the girls practically threw themselves at him.
It was like he didn’t even have to try.
It's only gotten worse since he'd landed a starring role on the new hit show Supernatural.
Jared didn't know if they would even make it past the first season, but the show was an instant success. It catapulted him to stardom. Girls from all over the world were crazed about my brother.
It kind of grossed me out.
I had to admit, I was getting a lot of recognition now too, but it was always (y/n) Padalecki, sister of Jared, and never just (y/n).
I mean I love my brother to death, he's the best, but sometimes it would feel nice not to be so, so invisible.
I stretched my muscles with a sigh.
I had finally landed in Canada.
I was going to be visiting Jared for awhile, while they filmed season two of supernatural. I missed him like crazy.
I was also taking a much needed break from fashion school in New York.
"Moose!" I squealed, spotting the top of my brother's head.
I could hear Jared groan from across the airport. I chuckled as he hated being called Moose.
I pushed through the crowd of people, finally seeing my brothers dorky face.
He rolled his eyes before pulling me in to a bone crushing hug.
"I missed you moose." I said as I squeezed him.
"I missed you too brat." Jared laughs.
He lets me go, setting me back on my feet.
"come on, Jensen's waiting for us back at our house." Jared said grabbing my bag.
"wait you and Jensen are living together?" I asked, my cheeks tinting with a blush.
"yeah, we decided to just rent a place together this season, it'll be easier, is that okay?"
"mmhmm." I nodded not trusting my voice to formulate an actual answer.
Jensen Ackles.
my brother's crazy hot co-star.
and according to him, best friend, besides me of course.
I met Jensen before they started filming season one.
Jared and Jensen went on "bonding" trips together, I guess to make playing brother's more believable. I had been invited on a few. Of course I was always pushed to wayside, but I didn't mind.
It gave me the opportunity to gawk at the eye candy that is Jensen Ackles.
He wasn't just hot though.
He was more complex then that.
He was kind, he was funny, he was easy to get along with.
and I was completely crushing on him.
It didn’t matter though.
It wasn't like he noticed me.
I was completely off his radar.
"how's design school?" Jared asked breaking the silence.
"I just needed a break I guess. It's a cutthroat industry, and I don't know if I'm cut out for it." I admitted.
"what of course you are, you're insanely talented! I mean why do think I always call you before award shows? I trust you to make sure I don't look like a dork!" Jared laughed.
"well I hate to break it to you moose, but you always look like a dork, the clothes aren't going to help you." I smirked, earning a punch to the arm.
"ugh thanks to you the entire supernatural cast calls me moose now!" Jared groans.
"well if the shoe fits." I shrugged earning another punch to the arm.
"I could always call you gigantor, if you like that better." I added pushing my brother's buttons.
"I think we'll stick with moose."
Jared pulls in to a condominium.
It's beautiful, fit for celebrities I guess.
"wow, living the high life I see." I said as my eyes traveled around the luxurious condo.
"It's definitely crazy."
I gazed at my brother, seeing his shoulders slumped over.
I can't imagine how he was feeling.
I mean his life basically changed overnight. He can't go out now without girls flocking him. He has no privacy.
I know he won’t let it show, but I could tell the pressure that comes along with his new found fame gets to him sometimes.
I walked over to my brother wrapping my arms around his tall frame, squeezing him again.
"I'm really glad you're here brat, it's kind of nice to have some sense of normalcy." Jared said running a hand through my hair.
"hate you." I whispered with a smile.
"hate you too." Jared smirked.
I stepped away from Jared, just as the door flung open revealing Jensen.
"is that baby moose I hear out here? "
I swallowed harshly as he came over wrapping his arms around me in a hug. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks and I hugged him back, nonchalantly taking in his sweet scent.
"Hi J." I said quietly.
Jensen stepped back, letting his eyes rake over me. I couldn't help but shrink under his gaze.
It was intimidating.
I took this time to stare at him too.
He's different.
His muscles were more defined now, signifying he'd been working out for the role.
His hair was still short but messy.
He had a very light stubble on his face that made his jawline more defined.
He looked good.
Better than good.
He looked sexy.
I heard Jared clear his throat loudly, making me tear my eyes away from Jensen. A heat spread throughout my body.
I wondered what Jensen was thinking.
"Jensen and I have a meeting with the director, I'll uh help you take your things in and then you can get settled while we're gone." Jared said.
I nodded my head as Jared grabbed my bag from the trunk, taking it inside.
"it's nice to see you baby moose." Jensen said offering me a cheeky smile before getting in the car.
I bit my lip, hiding the blush that spread to my cheeks. I followed Jared in to the house, which was even more extravagant on the inside.
"I guess it pays to be famous." I said spinning around to get a complete view.
"I'm not famous, just lucky." Jared laughed.
"yeah that's why a fangirl followed me around in the grocery store the other day, asking me a million questions about you."
"wait that actually happens?" Jared laughed.
"more times than I would care to admit." I said joining in Jared's laughter.
our laughter died down, a comfortable silence settling in between us.
"uh your room is upstairs, the third door on the right, next to Jensen's, you sure you're going to be okay here?" Jared asked handing me my duffle bag.
"I think I'll manage."
"I'll be back soon."
Jared placed a kiss on my forehead, before going out to join Jensen in the car. I watched them drive away before going to find my room.
Jensen
Jared got in the car giving me a stern look.
"what?" I asked innocently.
"don't what me, dude that's my sister." Jared growled.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." I smirked.
"just keep your eyes away from my sister."
"I wasn't even looking." I laughed as I pulled out of the drive way heading over to the studio.
I was looking though.
She was different.
She looked different.
Her hair was longer.
She definitely grew in to her body.
She was no longer the lanky girl I had come to know.
I would be lying if I said my eyes didn't linger on her now defined chest.
She looked good.
Better than good.
She looked beautiful.
Fuck.
I shouldn't be thinking like this.
I mean this was my best friend's sister.
I know Jared would kill me if he knew I was thinking this way.
I better stop.
I didn’t want to though.
"hello, earth to Jensen." Jared said waving a hand in front of my face.
"sorry man, what did you say?"
"I asked if you were coming."
I looked up seeing we were in the parking lot of the studio.
I wasn't sure when we arrived, or how we arrived in one piece considering I wasn't paying attention.
"uh yeah sorry, just thinking about this meeting." I lied smoothly.
I just hope I can focus enough so I don't lose my job.
Reader
I finally settled in, unpacking my things and familiarizing myself with the layout of the house. It's been over two hours and the boys still aren't home.
I heard my stomach rumble.
I was starving.
I walked down to the kitchen, opening the fridge. I saw some ham and cheese.
Oh gosh a sandwich sounds good right now. I looked around in the cabinets, looking for the bread.
I finally found it, high up on a shelf.
Moose.
He needs to learn that not everyone is as freakishly tall as he is.
I stood on my tiptoes reaching for it, but alas I didn't get the height genes that Jared had. I huffed blowing a piece of hair from my face. I stood on my tiptoes trying again.
I heard a chuckle from behind me, causing me to snap my head back.
"need some help there baby moose?"
I blushed a deep red as Jensen came up behind me, reaching the bread with ease.
I could feel the heat radiating from his body just from the proximity.
I wondered what it would be like to be this close to him in a heated moment.
I let my imagination run wild for a moment before realizing he still lingered behind me.
He cleared his throat before stepping away.
I let out a shaky breath I didn't know I was holding.
"thanks." I whispered shyly.
"you know for a baby moose, you aren't all that tall." Jensen smirked.
"yeah, no Jar stole all those genes." I said causing him to chuckle.
"well baby moose I will gladly reach the bread for you anytime." Jensen said making me blush harder.
I'm sure I looked like an idiot from how bad I was blushing over his words.
"uh is Jared back?" I managed to choke out.
"uh not yet, they needed him to shoot a promo for the new season, he asked me to come check on you." Jensen said sitting down at the kitchen island.
I rolled my eyes at his protectiveness.
I was twenty two now.
I didn't need a babysitter.
"Jared still thinks I need a babysitter." I spoke as I took out two pieces of bread starting to make a sandwich.
"he's just worried about you."
"I can handle myself."
"I have no doubt about that." Jensen said.
I snuck a glance at him, accidentally meeting his eyes. He wore a smirk on his plump lips that got my heart racing.
"I have to, I mean now that you two are like major celebrities." I laughed.
"okay, hang on I was major celebrity before supernatural." Jensen joked.
I rolled my eyes throwing my cheese wrapper at him.
He dodged it with ease laughing at my antics.
"of course how I could I forget your starring role on Dawson's Creek."
"I don't know because I definitely made season six of that show." Jensen laughed.
“I never watched it.” I shrugged.
Okay that wasn’t exactly the truth.
I did watch it.
I watched it for him.
“well we’ll definitely have to change that.” Jensen said getting up from the island.
I let my eyes linger on his form as it retreated up the stairs.
I was hopeless.
I was completely hooked on someone I would never have.
I sighed sitting down and digging in to my sandwich. I didn’t realize how hungry I was.
I heard the door open, seeing Jared walk in.
He sat down beside me taking the other half of my sandwich.
“I made that for me you ass!” I whined hitting his chest.
“yeah out of my fridge!”
I rolled my eyes.
He had a point.
“how was your meeting?” I asked as we ate.
“really good, we’re all excited for filming to start.”
I wondered what it would be like to be on camera. I definitely didn’t have a face or body for film.
“actually there’s this party tomorrow, for the cast, kind of like a kick off to the new season, do you want to come with me?” Jared asked.
I was never a big fan of parties.
Jared always tried to get me to go to high school parties but it was never my thing.
“I guess, but just for you.” I said booping his nose.
I finished my sandwich, making sure to clean up after myself.
“I’m uh going to head to bed early, I’m exhausted from the flight.” I said giving Jared a hug.
I jogged up the steps towards my room. I felt the heat radiating from the bathroom as I passed it.
I could see the door was slightly cracked.
I peaked in seeing Jensen in only a towel.
He was wiping the condensation off the mirror.
I couldn’t stop my eyes from traveling over his toned chest and back.
I swallowed the lump in my throat as I stared.
I would give anything to be able to run my hands down his body.
I bit my lip, forcing my body to move away from the door before I was caught staring.
I crashed on to the bed, letting my thoughts linger on the gorgeous man.
I wondered what his lips tasted like.
I wondered how it would feel to have his hands caressing my body as we kissed.
I wondered how his body would feel on top of mine.
I choked back a moan as I thought about him in such an intimate way.
A loud knock on my door tore me away from my thoughts.
I quickly sat up, I could feel just how flushed I was.
“uh come in.” I squeaked.
I was surprised when Jensen came in setting a laptop on my bed. I gave him a confused look as he typed away.
“Dawson’s Creek season six.” He smiled turning the laptop towards me.
I laughed as I brought the laptop to my lap.
“I’ll leave you to it.” Jensen said walking towards the door.
“aren’t you going to watch it with me?” I asked slightly disappointed.
“oh no, I never watch myself on tv, but make sure you pay attention cause I’m going to quiz you tomorrow.” He said.
I rolled my eyes at his antics.
“Goodnight Jensen.”
“Goodnight baby moose.”
I hit play, even though I had already seen every episode he was in.
I watched anyways.
I watched until I couldn’t keep my eyes open.
I watched until I fell into a deep slumber, plagued by dreams of a man I know I would never have.
I woke up to a light pounding on my door. It was bright out, but still appeared to be early morning.
Jared strode in wearing running gear.
It was nice to see he still took his morning runs.
It was something that always made him feel at peace, helped with his anxiety.
“ugh what time is it?” I groaned throwing a pillow over my head to block out the sun.
“five am, come on a run with me.” Jared beamed.
“Jared normal people don’t go for runs at five in the morning.”
“good thing you’re far from normal.” Jared joked pulling the pillow away from my face.
“I don’t want to go for a run, I want to sleep.” I pouted.
“pretty please, for me?”
I glanced up at Jared to see him giving me the puppy dog eyes.
Damn.
He knows I can’t say no to his puppy dog eyes.
“you better get me an extra large cup of coffee after this.” I groaned throwing my legs over the side of the bed.
I threw on some workout clothes, making my way downstairs. I was surprised to see Jensen standing in the kitchen in workout gear.
Fuck.
I was uncoordinated, and the last thing I wanted to do was run in front of Jensen.
“you managed to get baby moose to come, impressive.” Jensen smirked.
I rolled my eyes grabbing a bottle of water.
“I uh hope you didn’t stay awake too long watching your new favorite show.” Jensen said laughing.
“It was alright, Pacey is definitely my favorite character.” I shot back walking past him towards the door where Jared was waiting.
“and what about CJ?”
“I mean he was alright in the beginning I guess, turned in to kind of a dick.”
“oh yeah how so?”
“I mean he did sleep with Audrey even though he knew Jen was in to him, kind of a dick move.” I shrugged.
Jensen huffed rolling his eyes.
“I didn’t write the script.” Jensen shrugged.
“It might’ve been better if you did.” I said, giving him one last glance before starting to jog.
I jogged at a steady pace, close behind Jared and Jensen.
I was smaller then both of them, so I took smaller strides.
I have to admit I did feel at peace.
I enjoyed the gentle morning canadian breeze nipping at my cheeks.
I was taking in all the beautiful sights around me.
I liked it here.
It seemed like we weren’t jogging for long before we were stopping at a little coffee shop.
“I believe I owe you an extra large cup of coffee.” Jared said glancing at me.
“I believe you are correct.”
“I’ll be right back, you want anything J?” Jared asked turning towards Jensen.
“nah man I’m alright.”
Jared nodded at us before disappearing inside the coffee shop.
It was silent as I stared at the quiet street, the town not quite awake yet.
“did you really hate CJ?” Jensen spoke making me glance at him.
“I think hate is a strong word, more thoroughly disliked him.” I laughed.
Jensen furrowed his eyebrows as I chuckled.
Was this bothering him?
“I like the guy who plays him better.” I spoke, not thinking about how it sounded.
I felt my cheeks heat up as I realized what I just said.
“oh well good.” Jensen responded, rubbing his neck nervously.
I was about to respond when Jensen grabbed my arm pulling me to his chest.
“Careful!” he shrieked as the coffee shop door flung open, almost smacking me in the face.
I swallowed nervously as he stared down at me, our bodies pressed together.
It felt even better than I had imagined.
“thanks for that.” I whispered tearing my eyes away from his.
I felt as if my heart would jump out of my chest at any moment from how fast it was beating.
I could feel his eyes lingering on me.
Jensen carefully tucked a piece of hair behind my ear that had fallen from my ponytail.
I shivered at his touch, feeling as if my body was suddenly engulfed in flames.
It felt good to be touched by him.
It felt heavenly.
I quickly jumped away from him, hearing Jared’s voice reappearing.
“what’s going on?” Jared asked looking between me and Jensen.
“uh baby moose is as clumsy as you say.” Jensen smirked, causing Jared to laugh.
I rolled my eyes taking my coffee from Jared.
I walked back to the condo as Jensen and Jared jogged ahead.
I was taking time to sip my coffee.
I was taking time to control my racing heart.
what in the world happened back there?
I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.
Ouch.
Okay that hurt.
and I’m not dreaming.
I bit my lip trying to fight the smile that made it’s way to my face.
I have no idea what that was.
but I liked it.
I liked it a lot.
I made it back to the condo, being informed that the boys had to go to the studio to shoot more promos for the new season, and that they’d be back to get me for the party tonight. I gave them a wave, crashing on to the couch from exhaustion.
I remember now why I don’t run at five in the morning.
I grabbed a blanket off the couch, curling up to catch a few more hours of sleep.
I woke up around noon, sleeping later than I would’ve liked.
I got up making myself some breakfast.
I passed the time watching more Dawson’s Creek.
It wasn’t like I had anything else to do.
It was starting to get later, I needed to get ready for this party.
I grabbed a simple mini dress throwing it on.
I glanced at my reflection in the mirror.
I didn’t completely hate what I saw.
I didn’t love it either.
I wasn’t anything exceptional.
It was no wonder I was so invisible.
I heard the boys come back home, stomping up the stairs like a herd of elephants.
I put a light coat of makeup on, before brushing through my hair.
I heard my door opening, making me glance over.
Jared stood there in a button up and some jeans.
“you look beautiful.” Jared smiled.
“thanks moose, you look, well very moose like.” I laughed as Jared gave me an annoyed look.
“come on brat, it’s time to go.” Jared said rolling his eyes.
I grabbed my purse, following him down the stairs. Jensen stood there waiting, wearing an outfit similar to Jared’s.
He looked handsome.
He looked flawless.
I could feel his eyes linger on me as I descended the staircase.
“ready to go?” Jensen asked looking at me and Jared.
I nodded my head nervously.
I didn’t like parties.
I would suffer through this one for Jared.
and maybe a little bit to be with Jensen.
I played with the hem of my dress as Jensen drove. It was a silent car ride, nobody bothering to make conversation.
I sighed as Jensen pulled up to the studio.
I hesitantly got out, already overwhelmed with the number of cars in the parking lot.
I could feel the nerves taking over my body making it shake slightly.
I felt a hand on my shoulder making me relax a little.
“it’s going to be okay, just stick with me.” Jared said offering a smile.
I gave him a forced one, following him and Jensen inside.
Jensen disappeared immediately when we got in, going to hug various cast and crew members.
I have to admit I got a little jealous watching him hug multiple women.
It wasn’t like I had a right to be.
Jensen looked right through me.
I just had to accept that.
“I want you to meet Jim.” Jared said grabbing my hand and pulling me to an older gentleman.
I made sure to act super polite as I met various cast and crew members that I hadn’t met the first season.
I felt like Jared’s shadow as he made his way around the room. I didn’t know anyone really except for Jensen and Jeffery Dean Morgan.
I had already talked to Jeff for a little so now I had nothing else to do except following Jared around like a lost puppy dog.
It was exhausting listening to conversations I didn’t really care about.
I needed some air.
I quietly slipped out the door, not that anyone would notice I was gone.
Jared was too busy basking in the limelight.
I was happy for him, don’t get me wrong, it’s just hard to be in his shadow sometimes.
I sighed looking around the studio parking lot. A bunch of trailers sat on the lot, with names of cast members etched on the doors. I found the one that said Jared Padalecki, and took a seat on the steps.
It was a beautiful night out.
It was quiet.
I took a deep breath blowing it out of my nose in a huff.
“you know the parties inside right?”
I jumped as Jensen’s voice took me by surprise.
“geez Jensen I never noticed how observant you were.” I joked rolling my eyes at him.
“not a fan of parties huh?”
“uh not really, they were always sort of Jared’s thing.” I answered with a shrug.
“yeah they’re not so much my thing either, too many people.” Jensen said.
I nodded my head, an awkward silence falling between us.
“uh do you want to see my trailer?” Jensen asked.
I felt the all too familiar heat creep up my spine.
“uh okay.” I whispered, flushed.
Jensen extended his hand pulling me to my feet.
It turns out his trailer was right beside Jared’s. He opened the door allowing me to step in.
It had his wardrobe for Dean in it, a small couch, a mini fridge, and a bathroom. I let my fingers graze over his costumes, observing a few articles closely.
“It’s nice.” I smiled plopping on the couch.
It was rather comfy for a small sofa.
“perks of being like a major celebrity.” Jensen smirked, quoting me from yesterday.
Jensen sat down beside me, our bodies just inches from each other due to the small size of the sofa.
“I’m uh glad you’re here baby moose, Jared’s a lot happier when you are.” Jensen said giving me a smile.
“I’m glad I’m here too.”
It was quiet, another awkward silence falling between us.
“we should probably head back inside, people are going to wonder where we are.” Jensen said standing up.
I stood up too.
“wondering where you are maybe, in case you haven’t noticed I’m pretty good at being invisible.” I said with a slight frown.
“well I can see you.”
Author Note:
I hope you enjoyed part one of this mini series! Please give a heart, reblog, comment or follow if you want more! I appreciate it!
Part (II)
#jensen ackles#jensen ackles x reader#jensen ackles imagine#jensen ackles x you#jensen ackles x female!reader#jensen x reader#dean winchester#dean winchester imagine#dean winchester x reader#jensen ackles fanfiction#jensen and jared#jared padalecki#jared x sister reader#jared and jensen#jensen ackles preference#jensen ackles smut#supernatural#spn fanfic#spn cast
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i’m sure you have such a busy life doing great lovely things but this is my formal request as someone who has read literally all of your ao3 works and is your secret #1 stan
baby i need a long form jegulus fic from you so bad please im on my hands and knees
nothing fades like the light was so delicious but i needed MORE 😭
the really good jegulus fics are LACKING we need a hero and i nominate you
if you’re feeling bored crazy silly goofy this summer……. you know what to do.
hi! i know this message is intended to be complimentary and i’m glad u enjoy my writing but please don’t send me stuff like this lol. not once have i ever indicated that i take requests nor that i want to and it is actually quite odd to ask a stranger to write you a book for free!
like. i’m trying to say this as gently as possible but these kinds of messages are just. SO out of touch. it takes hours for me to write a single ch of a fic, hundreds of hours to write long-form novel length fics—it’s a labor of love, which is why i do it, but it’s still labor. and i’m not gonna work for anyone but myself for free! i am an adult who is in school and working two jobs on top of that to make ends meet and my main concern this summer will be making sure i can pay my rent, not writing fanfiction!
like. in an ideal world i’d be getting paid at least $20/hr for my labor. let’s estimate that it takes ~5 hours for me to write one ch. if u want like a 20-30 ch book length fic, that would run u about $2-3k. and i still might be undervaluing my own work there! does that help put into perspective the amount of work this is? and not just the amount of work i’m doing, but the amount of work ANY fanfic writer is doing, and sharing for free? please realize that it is actually insane that people are ALREADY writing & sharing free books with you.
also. not really sure what u mean when u say really good jegulus fics are lacking and honestly that is a mean thing to say! i know u mean it as a compliment to me but i do not want any compliments that put other writers down. there are lots of really talented and wonderful writers pouring their time and effort into longform jegulus fics; i’m sure you can find some that u like if u spend some time looking. and this is definitely not the place to look bc ‘nothing fades like the light’ is probably the only jegulus fic i will ever write simply bc i don’t like regulus v much! lol
anyway. want to reiterate that i’m trying to say this all gently bc im assuming that u are maybe someone young who does not write fic and/or does not have to worry abt paying rent etc and that’s why maybe u didn’t understand how this message would come across. but please take this as a learning opportunity to understand why this is a very weird thing to send someone and definitely do not send me messages like this again lol
#honestly if i could get paid for fic requests i might bc. i need money 😭#however that is illegal! so#also. please don’t send me an apology or anything there is no need to apologize#sometimes when i answer messages like this and im like hey this is annoying. ppl follow up w long apology messages. that’s annoying too!#like idk u so it really doesn’t matter that much if u send me one annoying anon message#let’s just both move on & not send annoying messages again <3 peace & love#ask
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Stiff stiff stiff stiff hi. Ok. Coming off of anon for this one bc the brainrot is too much ANYWAYS I was sending tcd asks like last week??? Idk ANYWAYS I JUST FINISHED WATCHING SECRET LIFE THE OTHER DAY AND I HAVE SOOOOOO SOOO MANY THOUGHTS. So many thoughts about TCD Scar and Secret life Scar. And also some of the things Martyn was saying about Scar lore-wise. I’m actually gonna put a few quotes from Martyn here about it:
“That [the end of secret life] was probably the beginning of a really horrible sort of descent into madness for Scar”
“Can you just imagine how distraught and how upset Scar is at just whacking that success button over and over and every time: ‘Win Secret Life’ ‘Win Secret Life’ ‘Win Secret Life’ just over and over and over again”
“Wanting it to either end for himself or for a new game to begin, like he is so deep in that loneliness and being left in a wasteland that he would rather either die or go into another death game — he doesn’t want to be alone”
Ok end of quotes here. I am just thinking SOOOO HARD ABOUT THIS OUGSHSH. I’ve been rotating this in my head for like 3 days now. First of all, like the whole secret keepers/watchers CONSTANTLY giving Scar tasks that end up isolating him from the rest of the server in a way (kind of like they know that loneliness hits Scar much harder than the others and they’re doing it on purpose to break him early on in the game), and then Scar building up those big deep slate walls around most of his base to physically keep people out (and even if it doesn’t keep people out physically, it’s still more or less reflects his mental state and how he’s treating everyone around him), and the whole sneaking around everyone and flitting between groups without committing himself because he knows (EVEN THOUGH HE TALKS ABOUT WANTING FRIENDS) that his best bet is to take advantage of having connections without actually getting attached to anyone (kind of like maybe he’s learned somewhere before that isolation is the best route for survival). GOD HES JUST LIVING RENT FREE IN MY BRAIN AAUGGHH. Also Scar just eventually accepting that he’s going to be isolated no matter what, and giving into what the tasks want him to be. BUT ABOVE ALL OF THAT. Him being surprised that he even won in the first place????
“How’d the guy with no friends win?”
And just being legitimately shocked that he actually came out on top and managed to survive everything. It’s like, even though he knew that not having any true connections gave him the best opportunity for survival he was STILL surprised to have made it out alive in the end. And back to what Martyn said about him being stuck there alone, just losing himself to madness because there’s nobody left but himself. it’s just like being back where he started again, utterly alone with no way out and nobody left to help him, and that he would rather be dead or living through another death game than be completely alone again. ok I’m done lol I am so sorry for going on that enormous ramble in your inbox HRJSKF :’)
HELLO YES YES THIS IS EXCELLENT. YES.
This reminds me of an au I made relating to my immortal scar hc where Scar gets stuck in 3rd life and everyone forgets him. Only the winner, Grian, remembers him and he remembers that Scar is supposed to be another hermit-
But this. Right.
Scar is the only one who didn't die at the end. So I can imagine him slowly going mad and maybe he's secretly hoping that maybe... maybe someone will come back for him. Someone will come save him, right?
But why would they. He was the villain after all. Even if not of his own volition- he was still a villain and he deserves this.
But imagine if the others forgot about him. If he just got erased from their memories basically.
Man.
Anyway yea Martyns lore for Scar is insane rigkrkgkfkg I love this sm thank you for that ramble I home my own ramble makes sense. Very random but i should be sleeping anyway
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May 31, 2024
The L Word (Love and/or Leaking Roofs and/or Late-Night Cable Television)
1000 words, roommate AU, part 2/?
In university, Frieren wasn't allowed to have a roommate.
Flamme said she was the kind of person who needed a solitary place to return to at the end of the day. She'd been more than happy to cover the increase in rent for Frieren to have a single, although, looking back, this is sort of ironic, because Flamme was also the person who most frequently chewed her out for isolating herself when she was a student. Nevertheless, she had been so strongly dissuaded from trying to live with anyone her own age that she'd never considered it until she was out on her own.
But then she had found a nice, well-paid, people-free post as the head engineer on a wind turbine farm in the absolute middle of nowhere. And then she had needed a place in the middle of nowhere to live. And then the man who's renting the other half of this house had been offering such a good price that she'd thought it was worth the risk of having to share her precious space with someone else.
"Absolutely not," Flamme had said when she pitched the idea, "you have no idea what that guy is like," but she'd changed her tune once she met him the day she helped Frieren move in. Now it practically seems to be her life's mission to make Frieren talk to her roommate.
There's nothing wrong with Himmel, but she doesn't intend to take that advice.
She gathers details, though. He's a teacher, though she doesn't know what grade he teaches. He came out here on some kind of fellowship from the government that pays the living expenses of teachers who are willing to move out into the sticks and teach in rural schools that pay badly. He likes yard work and going for runs, he falls asleep with the TV on, he only knows how to cook three different things, and every time she walks into a room, he looks at her like he's waiting for her to say something. The night after she moved in, he'd bought them both takeout as an attempt at getting to know her, but she can't say that it was the start of anything promising. He's a decent guy who says more than she wants to respond to. That is all.
But she cannot avoid him forever, living in the same house. The decision to watch television even though he's already asleep in the living room with informercials going in the background is one that takes deliberation, but she ultimately decides that it must be worthwhile.
When he wakes, Himmel watches her snake documentary with what seems like rapt fascination. This scores him points.
"Do you, uh, like snakes a lot?" he asks her.
"Not really, but it's the best thing on." She shrugs. "I have always wanted to have a lizard, though."
"A lizard...?"
"A really big one," she specifies.
"Oh. Uh. Cool."
"Have you ever seen an Asian water monitor?"
"Is that a job title...?"
"No, it's a kind of lizard."
"Oh. Uh. Well. No, I can't say I have, then."
"They're really long." She pulls out her phone so she can provide examples of this, at which Himmel nods appreciatively. (Good. At least she's living with somebody who knows and perceives the truth.) "And I wanna get one some day."
"You know, most people want a dog or a cat."
"Sure. I want an Asian water monitor."
"That'd be, uh, that'd be something."
"I want to walk it through town on a leash so people would know to tremble in fear before me."
This is the kind of thing she says that makes Flamme lecture her about needing to stop pushing people away by being strange on purpose. She means no offense to Flamme, who is probably right about her pushing people away and all, but she doesn't think that's a reason to stop enjoying the baffled looks on people's faces when she opens her mouth and says something that makes her sound medically insane.
Poor Flamme was always going to lose that battle. Frieren's favorite response to her own inability to understand how people's brains work, after all, has always been to confuse them right back.
"Sounds like a plan," Himmel replies.
"Eh?"
"I said it sounds like a plan." He smiles, the haze of bewilderment starting to clear from his face. "At least, I mean, I think that'd be pretty funny, what with how tiny you are."
Oh, she thinks, almost in awe, he does get it.
"His name is going to be Megatron."
"Sick name."
"Right?"
"I don't mean to brag or anything, but I think our plot for world domination is pretty good."
"Sure thing." He's really smiling now, and she can't tell whether that's because he's so confused or just because he thinks this is as amusing as she does. She hopes, for reasons currently unascertainable, that it's the latter. "Any chance I could get in on that?"
"Eh?"
"The whole world-domination plot. You got an opening for a minor bureaucrat somewhere in there?" Himmel's laugh is easy, carefree. "I'd be a great minor bureaucrat."
"Why would I take over the world just to make a bureaucracy?" Frieren wrinkles her nose. "Not even a dark overlord could come up with the Vehicular Certification Agency."
Himmel's easy chuckle is quickly turning into something that sounds like an asthma attack. Concerned, and not entirely sure if anything in the world is truly that funny, Frieren stiffly pats his back.
"Sorry," he wheezes. "I just would never have guessed."
"Guessed what?"
"Nothin', nothin'."
"No, what?"
"I dunno, I guess I just thought you were shy."
"I'm not shy, I'm a misanthrope," she informs him. "...is what Flamme says."
"You call your mom by her first name?"
"She's not my mom."
"Eh?"
"She's my legal guardian. So yes, first names are appropriate."
"Oh."
"And she doesn't actually mean I'm a misanthrope, she just jokes about it."
"I, uh, I see."
"She's where I get my megalomania and comic timing."
He doubles over wheezing all over again at that. This guy really needs to get a handle on himself or he's going to end up blowing out a lung.
But, even when he can't stop laughing, she does not hate the sound of it.
#dailyfrimmel#frieren/himmel#frimmel#frieren: beyond journey's end#sousou no frieren#au: modern#au: roommates#this got so long help#peak weirdgirl frieren
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So this is going to be kind of an insane ask to get but I don’t have anybody I can tell in my real life and you’re like the only person I follow who seems to genuinely give a shit about Ukraine still so. You can just delete it if you want to, I don’t mind. Just actually writing it out to another person will help.
I’ve been considering for the better part of 2024 joining the Ukraine volunteer army. Like, seriously considering, not just some throwaway thought. I even got my passport specifically because I was thinking about it. I know someone who did. Haven’t heard from him in a while but that’s the nature of this sort of thing, as far as I know he’s still out there. I want to also. I’ve got extended family in both Ukraine and Russia (which is more common than you’d think) but my parents are immigrants (it was long before I was born) and I’ve always been close to my extended family and people I’ve talked to from both places in my family are unhappy and everybody hates that this is happening. There’s this like chasm between both halves of my extended family now bc people can’t see each other anymore. Multiple of my extended family from Ukraine had to either run away to other countries or join the military, and I had one of my Russian cousins almost get caught immigrating to avoid being conscripted (he made it, he’s fine, he lives out of country now) and I hate being here in America watching it all happen and not able to do a damn thing about it, I donate as much as I can to a variety of Ukrainian funds and send money to family too, but I work at a fast food place and rent a shithole apartment I can barely afford, I can’t really donate much. But I’m a guy (well, not really, but I’m 0% transitioned and I’m fine with staying like this for something more important), I’m decently fit, I speak a little Ukrainian, I know how to use a gun, and from what I heard from the person I knew who went and what I’ve heard looking on forums and stuff that’s basically all they want at this point. Hell two of those things, language and experience with guns, seem to be slipping out of the requirements too because they need more people so bad. I feel like if I don’t I’m going to be crawling with regret for the rest of my life especially, ESPECIALLY, if Russia gets the upper hand and Ukraine falls. At least if I do this I could try to make a fucking minuscule sliver of a difference. But I know my parents will be really upset, especially if I just take off. My friends too but I don’t have a lot of those anyways. And obviously I know I might die, or be disabled or whatever but I just don’t care, even though I feel like I should. But I just don’t, because I feel like doing my part would be worth either of those things. Maybe I’m just crazy and blinded by how upset this entire fucking “conflict” makes me, but like your other anon said it really feels like the entire world forgot, or at least America forgot, unless you have personal connection to the region. I don’t even know how to end this ask. That’s my confession. You and maybe your followers if you do post this are the only ones who know now and that’s that
I love you, anon. I won't tell you not to but I want you to know - you can still help without volunteering. Donating helps. Spreading awareness helps. You will have nothing to be ashamed for if trying your best does not extend to sacrificing your life. You are still strong and providing desperately needed value.
I just want you to please consider that, okay? You said you don't have many friends - but even though I don't know who you are, you and your life matters to me. If you'd ever like to talk to me you can DM me for my Discord. I'd be happy to be your friend.
If not, that's okay as well. I just want you to know that your life has value, too, even if you help in other ways.
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I think I’ve written before about how we were illegally evicted during 2020’s eviction moratorium. This has had four years’ worth of far-reaching effects, plus my becoming physically disabled during all that time. We are lucky to be staying with a family member, however, this can’t be a permanent situation. It’s not great long term for us or for them.
I’ve been tearing my hair out trying to figure out how to “move on” from our lives being derailed, when we have $0 in savings (and are disincentivized from attempting to save due to the assistance programs we are currently receiving but won’t be after next year or so when we lose eligibility) and rent everywhere has doubled and tripled. I literally do not know what to do.
Not homeless enough to qualify for anything that could get us somewhere, and also too homeless for anything that might help. There is a big crack in the system and we fell right through.
I also want to avoid living in an apartment situation again if it can be avoided at all. Stairs are going to destroy me physically, hearing noise all the time from other tenants aggravates my anxiety and mental health conditions which in turn messes up my physical health pretty badly because I lose sleep. The silver lining of the current situation is realizing how badly I was affected by the places we had been living and how at least that part of my health has been more controlled.
I just. Feel so frustrated. How do people do this? I am sure we aren’t the first couple in this country to both suffer a bad health decline almost simultaneously, while losing housing, and so on. Lightning doesn’t strike twice except when it does, and it did.
I just need like. A foothold. Somehow. Those videos of people converting buses into homes are wildly impractical and yet I’m so envious of a place that’s yours, that can’t really be taken away on someone’s whim, that you can just pick up and plant elsewhere when need be. I just want to live in a hut that doesn’t cost a quarter million dollars, that can be paid off, so we can at least try and rebuild.
I am basically screaming into the void here, but the clock is ticking on how much longer we get any kind of assistance and I need to start thinking of ideas now before that runs out. I’m researching grants, which we mostly don’t qualify for, because I’ve just got absolute nothing to work from. I feel like an insane person going over and over and over the same things I’ve already read hoping to find something I missed, but there’s just nothing.
Don’t have a bad landlord, and don’t have bad luck, I guess.
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So……. 2 MORE WEEKS!… and it still does not feel real to me that we are going to get season 2 so soon. I am sure it will destroy me and create an everlasting wound deep in my soul.
Anyway episode 6! I won’t lie this the episode that I have watched the most out of the rest. I have probably watched it over 15 times and that is not an exaggeration. It’s my fav episode because there are just so many iconic moments in this one.
Let’s not waste another moment. Get into this!
IWTV S1 E6: Like Angels Put in Hell by God
This ep starts with Louis looking real bad as he tries to recover from the drop inflicted on him by Lestat.
He definitely has PTSD from the fall 😔
At least we get the ‘cloud gift’ name drop.
We also have Dr. Fareed which is a character that is most prominent in the Prince Lestat trilogy I believe. I do not know if this is true I have not read that far yet.
We then go back to the story and Claudia is making Louis chase a goat for his recovery.
And here comes Lestat being where he is not wanted. The throwing of his coffin out the balcony is everything 🤣
When Lestat comes to give the car to Louis I must admit he looks so so good 😩 But I still don’t want Louis to let him back in! Because I know he has not changed even though he says so.
But I do believe that if Louis did tell him to leave and to never see him again Lestat would listen! But he doesn’t tell him that because he still can’t let Lestat go even after everything he has done. It’s too much!
Lestat is crazy for what he does with ‘Come to Me’ but I love when Sam sings it ❤️
And this what. I am talking about when I say that so much of this episode is so iconic! Swimming a dirty ass river to break into your exe’s place and telling Antoinette to leave HER HOUSE so that you can have violent hate sex while she is just outside listening to it all. It’s just so messy and insane! Gotta love it
Sam Reid is just so so good in the scene where they are questioning Lestat! His acting is just *chef’s kiss*
And everything he tells them of how he became a vampire is true 😭
“…I loved Lestat with a wounded one.” 😭😭😭
Yes Claudia you should baaaaaa at him!
Nooooo Claudia what he said about Magnus was true!
More Nicky name dropping this episode. And knowing the backstory with that I just wince at the whole conversation they are having. But what can I say she really is her father’s daughter
And of course he didn’t kill Antoinette being a brat so much so that he did not like being told what to do. And yes Louis he is ‘all kinds of fucked up’ and this why I love this show. Everybody is fucked up just some more than others.
Ugh the scene where Claudia tries to get Louis to leave with her breaks my heart.
Then we go back to modern day and this is where in the original interview Daniel wanted to be turned. And ohhhhh Armand is not happy that Louis offers to turn Daniel now hehe
The utter shock I had when Claudia is just sitting in the townhouse instead of on a train. 😱
But oh, oh! The train scene is everything. It is just so fucked up and scary! This show is in the horror genre after all. And that doesn’t stop this scene from being iconic.
From “Tickets, please!” To “Claudia, you left without saying goodbye…. Again” it just lives rent free in my head.
God he such an asshole to her!
And she defeats him at chess at the same time that she is plotting his murder! That’s some queen shit honestly.
When Lestat is shouting in French, if you ever look up what he is saying it is actually so unsettling
Awwww our boy (Daniel) is eeppy
I don’t care what anyone says I love the 70s flashback.
And boom! As we all know Rashid is actually someone Daniel has met before! Shocker! Yeah yeah it’s Armand we know this.
Yay! I got through another one! We only have one more rewatch then s2! I cannot believe it and again it does not feel real at all! I am sure by next week I’ll be able to write more since I won’t have as much school work left to do.
Thanks for reading
14 days!!!!! Life is worth living!
#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv#iwtv#iwtv spoilers#louis de pointe du lac#iwtv 2022#iwtv amc#lestat de lioncourt#sam reid#lestat#jacob anderson#armand iwtv#assad zaman#daniel molloy#eric bogosian#iwtv claudia#bailey bass#just for fun
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11/7/2024
My phone always makes these nighttime photos look so haunted.
Positive thing: I had a nice therapy session.
Talking with him about election woes helped, and it was also while I was talking I realized there's plenty of good things happening in my life too. I have many wonderful friends, I'm moving to a new place soon, my mom is confirmed to be coming home in December, and I'm getting back into stuff I enjoyed like nigehaji. I reflected on how much more I've been feeling like drawing and writing again which I thought might never happen.
There were some funny/interesting things from today. My coworker friend and I have been slowly watching through nigehaji together after we finish work on Thursdays, and she gets supremely frustrated while watching the main leads. It's a playful kind of frustration, and I totally feel her because I'm pretty sure I reacted similarly when I was first watching. There's this weird quality to nigehaji where the exact same details and scenes that make me insane make every other person go "...ok?" or even "god what is wrong with them". Which is absolutely their perogative and I don't feel offended if they don't like it. It just makes it hard to explain why I do like it. I don't know how to put into words that the fact that the two main leads don't communicate on the same wavelength and the main guy is always running away is frustrating but also a key part of the message of the whole show. And if it was any other romance with a different setup I would condemn it to hell for being a dumb miscommunication arc but in nigehaji it's actually just cinema to me. I don't know how to explain!! I just don't know. But maybe I'll write another essay about why I like it and maybe it'll finally turn out coherent one of these days.
Another interesting thing that completely distracted me from my nigehajiposting was someone in one of the Japanese Discord servers I'm in apparently got coaxed into some maid cafe bar, and spent ¥100,000 on a drink. ¥100,000!!! For context, that's roughly $650. I know he got pressured into a tourist trap basically, but I was so shocked at how he basically reacted like it was a small mistake and not something that ruined his wallet. Like, that's almost my rent for the month basically. On one drink?? Oh my god. I would fall to my knees. What cracked me up was how he followed up saying he was done with maid cafes because of this but not 30 minutes later he announced he was in another one. Godspeed, dude. I guess this is how Japan's tourism industry stays alive.
This one's less interesting but I had to do a reading for class, and the book we have to read is written in a very annoying way. Basically it's a self-help kind of book about how to organize your life, applied to building your career or whatever. I do think there's some good points in there, but because the author is a Los Angeles white woman hustler type lady it has this grating edge to it. "You just have to get up early and do things!" rings hollow from anybody but especially from someone like that. There's a short excerpt where she describes how one of her lowest points in her life was lying on the floor for 30 minutes feeling stuck. And like, lady, I feel that way every day, and I'm lucky if it's for 30 minutes. Also her anecdotes tend to include other brands and social media and it just feels like I'm being advertised to every other minute. She shows an example of what she thinks a cordial email is and it's the most passive-aggressive thing I've ever read and she finishes by saying something like "And I'm really proud of how I handled this email, I'm so professional!" and it's like, okay...
Long story short, I don't trust people whose lives are extremely niche in the grand scheme of things giving advice as if it's universal. Maybe if you're white and neurotypical and abled you'd resonate more with this lady and her "I try to get up at 6:15am and be in my car by 8:23am" type nonsense.
But anyway. Tomorrow I'm looking at another place with my friends to potentially move into, and this one looks real promising. It's got wood floors instead of carpet like the last one, and it's located in a nice neighborhood close to my university. The rent isn't bad either. I'm hoping it looks as nice in real life as it does in the online pictures.
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Oh Eddie 100% was meant to be the king of the underworld, another mirror for Steve. I think that they feel a lot of frustration over how Steve turned out, otherwise I don’t get why they keep making weird doubles for him (we have three! why do we need so much!). I think maybe Eddie is a starter character that they would have developed into a Steve later? Like a character who becomes the confidant for the kids (a very boring choice btw)
The only reason people make Eddie into a victim is to give him the higher ground so that Steve can feel insecure and ashamed, which is a kink for the majority of Steve shippers (like even with Billy which is weird that Steve is sometimes apologizing there too. like guys???? what??????). Canon Eddie is a feral stinky teenage boy. “Mr Cringefail Mr Attentionwhore” to Steve’s “Mr Funny Mr Cool”. Like in order to be the king of the losers and freaks you kinda sorta NEED TO ALSO BE ONE. Steddie are so funny together, like a satirical piece on Romeo and Juliet, whyyyy did people decide to focus on the bullying and victimhood. It doesn’t suit the characters at all
I miss canon Eddie so much, Quinn put so much work into the feral stinky aspect AND YET
I think they also keep trying to, like, recreate the hype they got with Steve accidentally. (Which to an extent they did in Eddie I guess but in a weird way.) But it's hard to do that kind of thing on purpose, you know?
I agree also that Eddie definitely was meant in his own way to be like "king of freaks" or something similar. I think the king titles get tiresome after a while but social hierarchy wise? Most definitely. Which honestly is so much fun! I don't know why people don't lean into it more in a fun way instead of making it angsty. The rivalry they may or may not have could be so incredibly funny but they also make it "oh no :((((( look how mean everyone was". Honestly everyone in this show is casually kinda mean, with a few exceptions (Billy, Troy & James, later Jason) thats all it seems to be, at least if the characters we're introduced to.
Honestly, I'm not sure a lot of these people are actually Steve fans 😭 they don't seem to like Steve very much??? Like Steve fans do enjoy some good whump - either emotional or physical (some of the fics my mutes have read.... Insanity) - and I can attest to that! But like there has to be some pay off for that which a lot of these fics don't seem to have. I'm not sure if people just aren't thinking things through or what.
Also I totally agree I ADORE canon Eddie. He's awkward and a little cringe, and probably is a huge flirt but is very, very bad at it. (Joe Q.'s comment that 'Eddie is never as successful with girls as he thinks he is' lives rent free in my head.) He's dramatic and probably a little gross (at the very least his van must always smell like weed). He is soooo ADHD coded to me, and honestly is just a hilarious outsider pov type character (a dude who thinks he is a freak and a weirdo and then finds out the priss the jock and the loner are all in an actual monster fighting club with his mentees, what's better than this).
I think also when people go too hard into the "he was bullied :(((" thing as opposed to how he actually comes across in canon, is that you lose that narrative foil that makes him so interesting in the first place. Firstly, the obvious Steve parallels, but also I think people miss out on the fact that all of the Spicy Six (minus Argyle 💔) are portrayed when they're first introduced as very much caught up in their own worlds and opinions. Steve is the one who everyone points out because he's definitely has the like biggest and most obvious re-evaluation. But Nancy, Jonathan, and Robin I would argue do too?
Nancy is much more concerned with her new boyfriend who isn't her boyfriend than anything else, very focused on rebelling. She's seen as someone who is uptight and a priss acting out. Barb's disappearance and death completely shakes her foundation, causes her to completely reprioritize her life and what's important.
Jonathan's isn't done in like a great way, because the resolution with the pictures was lazy as hell. But arguably he is going through the same foundation changing first with Will disappearing and then with the pictures. He even says that he saw Nancy as shallow and forgot she was a real person. Them working together is - as poorly done as it is - a similar journey.
Robin's is less on screen, but she goes through a similar thing with the others, overcoming dumb high school biases and befriending Steve. Though hers like I said starts off screen because you get the vibe she started liking Steve before the Russians thing happened.
Eddie is literally going through the same thing. He says himself that he thought Steve was an asshole and that both Steve and Nancy were forcing him to reevaluate his prior biases. A big part of the older crowds upside down journey has always been growing as a person and learning that there's more than meets the eye with others, and moving past stupid high school cliques and biases. The fact so much of fandom ignores that Eddie is also super biased and is also reevaluating his thoughts completely detracts from his character and growth. Like I know the duffers love doing the petty high school "jocks suck and nerds rule" thing, but that doesn't mean fandom has to lol. I feel like giving Eddie all these reasons to not just hate jocks but hate Steve specifically just kinda undermines part of the journey.
Anyway I got WAYYYY off track. Wkenedk this has just been in my head for a while
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i might be stupid but. is the gothamverse a muppets batman au? is that what the thing in ur bio means? (either way plz do tell me abt it)
That would definitely be infinitely cooler than my idea! Gothamverse is the beautiful result of me playing arkham knight while waiting for an mcr livestream to start up and thinking ‘damn bitches from jersey are fucking insane! ....wait a minute’
It’s basically a silly little idea I came up last March with where all the mcr guys are from Gotham and what their villain origin stories would be etc. I followed the main Batman villain archetypes: extremist, anti-hero, camp, and serial killer, and I had a fucking blast! It’s very silly and just something I did for fun. I guess I can go a lil bit into it here.
full disclosure, I am psychotic and disabled and I do not believe in the vilification of mental illness or disability in media, all of these characters will eventually get the help they need. Batman at its core is about a mentally ill man helping others who have been failed by society and I will never forgive dc for making him into an overpowered, glorified cop.
Frank’s character (Francis ‘Frankie’ Stein) is the extremist (duh). He’s the son of a mafia boss who is steadily ruining their town with crime and Frankie just kinda snaps and kills him to take his place as the head of the family and try to undo some of the damage done. He has great intentions, he’s just very unyielding and kind of insane 💕 his moniker is Frankenstein! And his whole schtick is that he’s very hard (if not impossible) to kill. He’s also chronically ill and Jewish, these are not important to his character but they are important to me !
Mikey’s character (Micheal Way) is the serial killer. He’s a ‘sociopath’ (theres nothing actually wrong with him, people just suck and made him feel lesser and out of place :/) trying to fit in with everyday society but he always feels like something is missing and becomes a neuroscientist to try to find what exactly it is. He invents a machine (the empathsizer) that allows him to experience other people’s memories and emotions as though they are his own. From there he accidentally gets addicted to the chemical responses his brain has to doing that. And keeps doing it. Even after the testing phase is no longer accepting applicants. It gets worse after he experiences someone’s near death experience and starts chasing the high it gave him. Idk what his moniker is? It’s sandman for right now but that’s honestly so boring and uninspired.
Ray’s character (Raymond Ortiz) is camp but very loosely. He’s an engineer by day and a rockstar by night! He’s really only an engineer to save up enough money to pursue music full time but it’s hard because he doesn’t get paid that much. Winter hits and with it, cuts to his hours! So he’s forced to choose between rent and electricity. When he gets really sick as a result, he can’t afford a doctor. And when he wakes up with his hearing gone as a result, theres nothing he can really do but spiral into a depression. Until he realizes he’s a literal biological engineer. If he can’t fix his problem he can at the very least prevent it from happening to someone else! Research does cost money, so it’s very fortunate that Gotham has so many banks. His moniker is Dr. Megahurtz! His weapon of choice is his guitar, which has been retrofitted with sonic emitters to amplify and weaponize the hertz. Not enough to hurt, but enough to incapacitate.
Gerard’s character (Jules Moss) is the anti hero! She’s (yes I made Gerard’s character a trans girl, they took too long to make a trans character so I did it for them) has the same backstory as Gerard actually! On her way home from work she witnesses a terrorist attack, but instead of starting a band she decides to fight crime instead. She does so bad. Literally her first night out patrolling she gets killed by some priest who’s been driven insane by what he claims is an angel that’s ‘chosen him to impart gods will’ but it’s just a fallen star looking for a vessel to possess and the first guy it came across wasn’t dead lol. The star turns into a sword of pure light and that’s what Jules gets stabbed with, but also it fuses itself to her dna so she wakes up a few days later, schrödingers girl, with some scary new abilities and a voice in her head that definitely wasn’t there before. Her whole arc is her trying to find the guy that killed her and get revenge. Her moniker is stigmata! Because when she gets impaled it also goes through the palms of her hands and the wounds don’t heal.
but yeah that’s the bare bones of it all! I’m planning on making this into a comic series but the script is still being written at the moment! Thank you for letting me ramble about it 💕🥰
#Also worth mentioning that Raymond and Jules do eventually get together!#I didn’t mean for that to happen but like they are best friends and they are both trying to hide what happened to them from each other#like Raymond only being able to hide the fact he’s deaf from Jules because he knows her so well that he can just anticipate what she’s#going to say can only go so far before it’s like okay these guys want to kiss I think? These two are in love#ALSO WORM IS THERE!!!#hes jules’ guy in the chair and he goes by wyrm to fit her whole medieval/joan of arc aesthetic#ANYWAY#gv#< Gothamverse tag#Also yes I’m aware Jules’ arc is literally just fashion statement I didn’t notice until someone pointed it out#same with Micheals character being like if the song sleep was a person#totally unintentional but I’m working with it!#jude.answers
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What does a regular weekend look like for princess and Lloyd? Are they the type to try out new restaurants that open up in town or are they more inclined to go to the mall and do some damage at the shops (me thinks Lloyd likes to spoil princess rotten so he doesn’t mind dropping any amount on her 🥰🥰) or maybe they’d do something romantic like get couples massages, etc 🥰🥰
On the weekend, Lloyd does like to hit the shops.
It’s obvious from the way he dresses that Lloyd Hansen is a bit of a clothes horse. Nothing pleases him more than a new shirt, pair of shoes, or piece of jewelry. He grew up in a rural area where there wasn’t much offered in the way of fashion, which is why he enjoys retail therapy so much nowadays. His favorite shops are Hart Schaffner & Marx, Tom Ford, Ralph Lauren, Balmain, Loro Piana, and Brunello Cucinelli.
What he really likes, though, is taking Princess along on his shopping excursions.
Lloyd’s initial plan was for the outing to be an indulgence for her, but he quickly realizes that’s not how she operates. Princess is the kind of person who window shops, thinks about her options, reconsiders, goes back and tries it again, and then if she still likes the item, she buys it. He thinks this is an insane way to shop. She informs him that this process ensures that she wears everything she owns, loves the clothing she actually buys, and rarely has to clean out her closet. Still horrified, Lloyd offers her the services of his professional organizer, at his expense. He has someone come in every couple of years and do a closet reset. They even handle the donations. Princess is shocked to discover that kind of service exists. Because it’s hard to persuade Princess to buy, shopping trips usually end up in the men’s stores.
Lloyd is charmed to realize that Princess has excellent taste in men’s fashion. She knows the difference between a New York and Chicago fit suit. Her eye for color helps pick the best tie and shirt combo. She also coordinates jewelry with the outfit’s color palette. Lloyd previously relied on fashion magazines to direct him on how to mix patterns and textures, but she does it naturally. He has to admit, he looks even better than when he takes her input.
Aside from clothing, the kind of shopping he loves most with Princess is jewelry shopping. Lloyd enjoys his rings, watches, tie clips, cufflinks, and even the odd necklace now and again. But the real reason jewelry shopping is his favorite is because of the store layout. You see, the men’s jewelry is located in the back, and the more popular women’s jewelry is kept at the front. Therefore it’s only natural that after walking in, you should stop by the display case at the front. Lloyd insists on it. He keeps a tally of what you’re drawn to, which cuts, color of gemstone, and metal tones. Jewelry isn’t something you buy for yourself very often. So, he makes it a point to give you these things, and he needs the data provided by these visits to choose well. He gets Princess jewelry on your anniversary, birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s day, and at least twice a year for no particular reason.
Lloyd is also a dedicated fitness junkie. Princess… isn’t. She’s willing to hit the gym on occasion, but it’s pretty much based on whether or not she feels like it. Lloyd prefers to exercise outdoors whenever possible. He usually jogs the Mount Vernon trail near his house. To accommodate their divergent interests, he rents Princess a bike. Lloyd jogs fast but with the advantage of wheels it’s easy for her to keep up.
Another thing they like to do on the weekends is go to Lloyd’s cabin. He likes having a place out of the city away from other people. It reminds him of where he lived growing up and he thrives on the peaceful isolation of the woods. Not having neighbors also gives the advantage of not needing to worry about how loud you were… Once that idea sinks in and you cut loose, Lloyd really wants to go to the cabin. Almost every weekend. Of course, you do other things at the cabin too, besides having sex marathons. You take short day hikes, go stargazing, and use the firepit to make s’mores.
Lloyd is a great cook. Princess isn’t.
To try and even up their skills they sign up for a Saturday evening cooking class. This gives Lloyd plenty of time to golf in the morning, hangout with his friends, and relax before they go. After the class, Princess can at least say she knows how to cook. When Lloyd goes on a business trip without her, she won’t be eating out every night. However, there’s clearly one person in their relationship who enjoys cooking, and whenever possible it’s him doing it. Princess happily does the dishes after Lloyd makes her dinner, because who wouldn’t be glad to be doing only half the chores they regularly had to? Plus, she’s eating better than she ever has in her life.
Cooking isn’t the only interest Lloyd brought back from Europe. He likes wine. One of his favorite spots is Tarara Vineyard in Leesburg. He likes the Jefferson Vineyard in Charlottesville and takes Princess on weekend trips to Rhode Island and upstate New York. He enjoys the wine tastings, while Princess is in it for the free gourmet lunch. Now, wine tastings are a bit rich for Princess’ blood. She mostly enjoys them because Lloyd’s commentary and reactions are so amusing. Her view on wine is less adventurous than his. She likes what she likes and that’s what she’d prefer, thank you very much.
What she does like are bookstores, record stores, and coffee shops. She has her own record player and a small but growing collection of vinyl records. Princess loves to visit art galleries and natural history museums, particularly the ones that have lots of fossils. Botanical gardens are high on her list. She goes to the D.C. gardens at least once a month to sit and relax. She’s gone to the Tudor Place gardens, which were established by Martha Washington, to the Meadowlark gardens, and visited the botanical gardens in Richmond.
For a simple low-key weekend at home, though, her perfect day would start with going to the farmer’s market with Lloyd. They buy fresh produce and have a picnic in the park, followed by a movie night. On other low-key weekends, Princess likes to be pampered. She enjoys going to the spa with Lloyd for couples massages, facials, and mani/pedis. Princess gets a body polish treatment and wax, while Lloyd has some minor laser resurfacing done.
He might only be forty-two, but prison ages you. Lloyd Hansen won’t be caught with premature fine lines and wrinkles, thank you very much!
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