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it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream · 4 years ago

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Silva Lining (Saul Silva x Reader) Chapter 10

Warnings: swearing

Word count: 3.3k

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You were on cloud nine. Waking up in Sauls arms the next morning was the highlight of your life. Granted, you were sore! The discomfort was something you were willing to put up with however because last night was mind blowing.

The morning after was filled with gentle playing and heated make out sessions. It was Sunday so luckily neither of you were expected to be anywhere. You showered together, learning each others bodies further. Saul made you breakfast and after that you lay and watched a movie together. Normal, mundane, relationship stuff. It was all you could dream of.

Unfortunately the time came where you had to go back to your dorm. Instead of doing the walk of shame you opted for your new favourite method of transportation. Portal. Saul kissed you deeply before the black whole appeared and you disappeared through it. At least now you could teleport back and forward into his room having seen the inside more clearly.

The girls jumped when your portal appeared in the middle of the room. They’re were on your instantly, eager for the juicy details. You sat down and gave them the PG version, not delving into too much detail. What you both did last night was personal and not for the faint hearted. You also showed off the presents Saul had gotten you and the Winx club squealed in delight when they saw the ring. After your lowdown of the events last night, the girls let you know that the party was a massive hit and if it wasn’t for Terras hangover potion they’d all still be in bed.

Presents adorned the floor of the main room you notice, someone must have brought them up for you. There were so many you didn’t know if you’d manage to open them all on your own. So one by one the girls helped you unwrap the gracious gifts. That took up a chunk of time. Still chatting and opening, Terra blushed and rattled off about how Helia had kissed her goodnight at the end of the party, then you noticed Aisha blushing too, the same thing had happened with her. The specialists were making moves and you couldn’t help but swell with excitement for your friends. Everything was perfect, maybe too perfect.

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-The Next day-

“What do you think the assembly is about?” Your arm was linked with Stella’s as you walked through the grand halls of the castle you called your school. You’d never get used to your real life Hogwarts.

“It’s a burned one assembly apparently and even worse, my mother is leading it. Yippee. She’s really just here to check on my progress and remind me how much of a disappointment I am.” Your best friend rolled her eyes. You were slightly nervous about meeting the Queen of Solaria, I mean, who wouldn’t be. Stella had insisted you’d stay with her. Emotional support. You took her hand in yours and gave it a squeeze.

The cars pulled up and the chauffeur opened the door for the Queen. Regal and gorgeous, the spitting image of Stella apart from she had brown hair instead of blonde. She came over and greeted Stella with a hug and then stopped. Her eyes widened as she looked at you. She was starring and you didn’t know why….

“Pleasure to meet you your highness.” You curtsied, Stella had shown you how. It seemed to snap the Queen from her daze and she smiled at you.

“How lovely, you must be Y/N, Stella’s told me a lot about you.”

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You’d left Stella to catch up with her mum. Aimlessly wondering the halls looking at features you’d never stopped to appreciate before. Then you saw one flustered looking man.

“Sa- Mr Silva!.” You jogged to catch up to him. He stopped turning. He didn’t smile. Woooah. He looked stressed.

“Now isn’t a great time Y/N.” You wanted to reach out and touch him but there were students all around. Did he really just brush you off though? Must be something serious going on for his shitty attitude.

“Okay.” You whispered. “Well, maybe we can talk when you change your attitude anyway.” You were annoyed. You knew his job was stressful and you knew that you had to act like student and teacher during school hours, however, you’d like to think that he would be a bit more… kinder, even when he was pissed at something else. Before he spoke you’d turned on your heel, flicking your hair behind you and walked off. Suck on that.

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The assembly had started. You weren’t there. You were too annoyed with Saul to sit there while he was up at the front acting as if he wasn’t rude to you two minutes ago. You skipped, wondering the school grounds when you bumped into Bloom.

“Whats your excuse for skipping?” You fell into step with the red head, who explained she was trying to find more about where she came from. Part of you realised that maybe you should have been making more effort in that department. You were still a mystery and going through the books you had stolen from the library in Magix hadn’t turned anything up yet.

You reached a storage cellar, old books, pictures and other junk filled the room to the brim, all covered in dust and cobwebs. Sky was there, he seemed surprised to see you, like wise.

“Maybe while were looking I might find something about me too.” You started searching through things. Not sure at all about what you were looking for when you were then joined by Beatrix and Riven. Not two of your favourite people to say the least.

You didn’t know them too well, but there was a reason for that. Trouble seemed to follow them everywhere and Beatrix gave you a weird vibe. Not good juju. Riven was just a punk. He thought he was the bad boy but it was all an act which you saw straight through. Example A. Beatrix just dropped the bomb that Riven was the one walking around school telling everyone Bloom was a changeling. You still didn’t see the big deal about changelings. You were one too after all. Sky and Riven left, leaving you alone with the two girls.

“So, that door is locked. Are we breaking in or not?” You didn’t wait for their answer. Curiosity getting the best of you. Walking over you put your hand on the lock and picture it heating up. Fire. Another one of the many abilities you possessed. Your magic was second nature to you now. Like you’d been practising for years. It was scary and cool at the same time just how intone with your abilities you were. The lock fell off and the door swung open.

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What the hell had you been dragged into. Honestly this wasn’t really your style. But hey, you’d gotten this far. You were currently in a stolen car, driving to some place called Asterdale. Bloom had a theory that’s where her parents might be from and hey, what do you know, Beatrix knows where it is. So yup, you were in the front of a stolen.. ROYAL car.

Ohhh lord. This wasn’t going to end well.

- Sauls POV -

Where the hell was she. Why wasn’t she at the assembly?! Saul was ragging, scared, angry at himself for being so flippant with Y/N earlier. The visit from the Queen and with the death of a teacher, it was a lot to deal with. He hadn’t meant to take it out on his sweet girl. Now he was just worried. Leaving the assembly would look suspicious so he stayed, part of him hoping she was just running late.

His fears got worse when he went back to Farah’s office. Farah had noticed Y/N wasn’t there either. She was more worried than she’d ever been. Then Y/N’s suit mates burst through the door looking worried too.

“Y/N and Bloom were in the east wing its Beatrix during assembly.” Saul, Farah and Ben all looked at each other.

“Okay and why were they down there?” Farah was quick to get it in the neck from Musa. Who was visibly concerned about something. Saul couldn’t stand still, pacing back and forward.

“Omg we know, we know that someone killed Callum and you think it was a fairy and that’s what you were looking for in the assembly!” Saul’s head whipped round to Terra. “We haven’t heard from them in hours and no one as seen Beatrix either.” Saul’s thoughts were interrupted by a voice through the ear piece he was wearing.

“One of the Queens Guards are knocked out, his SUV is gone.” Sauls jaw clenched and made his way to the door. He was mad. If Beatrix had hurt his girl in any way, there would be hell to pay.

“We will find them, I promise.”

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-Your POV-

The place Beatrix took you to was bare. Was this some kind of sick joke? You drove two hours for this? Nothing but open fields and shrubs next to a steep looking cliff over looking choppy, cold water.

“And this is where you’ve taken us to kill us, right?” You joked but part of you was actually worried. You’d always thought Beatrix was a shady bitch. “Asterdale is a town right? So where is it?” You stopped, looking into the vastness. Bloom looked twitchy, annoyed almost because you guaranteed she was thinking the same thing as you.

You were alarmed all of a sudden when your ears pricked up at the sound of electricity, turning just in time to see Bloom shouting at Beatrix who’s hands were glowing with power.

“You’re not the only powerful fairies at Alfea you know.” Yup, you were right. You were so about to die. You raised your hands ready for a fight but the bolt of blue electricity burst past you hitting an invisible forcefield just like the one that surrounded the school and crashed with a loud bang, revealing chaos behind it.

Beatrix went on to tell you both about how Asterdale used to be a beautiful place, but one winter Burned Ones surrounded the settlement and a Military Unit from Alfea decided destroying the Burned Ones was more important than the lives of the people living there. How Queen Luna was the one who had put up the veil that stopped people from really seeing what had happened to the once thriving village. Then she went onto drop the bomb that Asterdale is where she was born and her family were killed there. The only people who survived were her… and you and Bloom. You were from Asterdale?

“I saw it, Dowling, Silva, Harvey.” Beatrix had tears rolling down her face. No, no…. Saul would never kill innocent people. Never. He couldn’t… that wasn’t your Saul. You whipped quickly at the stray tears that had fallen. He knew about this and he didn’t tell you? Did he know where you were from and he didn’t tell you because… he had a hand in killing a village full of innocents?

You’d heard enough and couldn’t bare to listen to anymore. You walked away, Beatrix and Bloom still talking about what had happened. You watched as the veil came down again slowly, covering up the evidence of a war crime. It was gone, just like that. As if nothing ever happened. As if the people that had once lived there never mattered. Forgotten in time.

Bloom still didn’t trust Beatrix, and neither did you. You opted for sitting in the back this time. Keeping an eye on the girl you hardly knew. What game was she playing? You felt like there had to be more to the story. Why would you and Bloom be hidden away in the first world? Why would Dowling, let you and Bloom into the school knowing that she killed your families?

“And we will get it because Rosalind is alive.” You caught the tail end of the convo, having been zoned out with your own thoughts. Hold the fuck up. The mysterious woman who had been leaving cryptic messages in Blooms head was.. Alive? After Miss Dowling told her that she had been dead for years. The plot thickens. You were about to make a comment but something on the road caught your eye.

“Oh fuck.” You braced yourself against the seat in the back as you watched Saul fire an arrow at the wheel of the car. It burst, sending the car skidding across the road. This was nottt going to be good.

You all jumped out of the car, Beatrix tried to run but Farah had used her magic and she was slowly sinking into the ground. Miss Dowling walked over, slapping on two bracelets on Beatrix’ wrists, it looked like coiled pieces of barbed wire. You didn’t care if B was shady, no one deserved that pain. Both you and Bloom bolted from the car with shouts of protest. You were lifted up into Sauls arms where you kicked and screamed to get free. Bloom was held back by Mr Harvey who was a lot stronger than he looked. You gave up, settling into Sauls arms, he was whispering in your ear trying to calm you, his hold on you tightening. Normally you’d feel comfort in his touch, but the story from Beatrix left you with some unanswered questions too big to go ignored.

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The girls were waiting for you outside. Stella grabbed you in a hug, you could tell she was worried. Saul was carting Beatrix away to her magic prison cell, not before letting you know that he’d speak to you later. Duty called. Duty sucked.

“Y/N, after we deal with Beatrix see me in my office, there’s something important we must discuss.” You glared at Miss Dowling who gave you a sympathetic look. Stella squeezed your arm.

“Y/N, you need to hear what she has to say. It’s important.” How did Stella know what she wanted to talk about. This whole day was one big bowl of confusing and you just wanted it to be over with. “Just know, I’ll be here when you’re ready, I promise.” Okay, so that wasn’t worrying at all…..

“I’m afraid miss Y/L/N, Stella won’t be able to keep that promise any time soon. Were leaving, Stella get in the car.” Stella’s eyes widened as she watched her things from the dorm being packed into her mothers car. The Queen was waiting for Stella to do what she said and this was one battle you wouldn’t win. Could you catch a break?

“No, No, NO, Stella you can’t leave, please I need you, you’re my best friend.” You were crying, the frustrations of the day coming out all at once. Stella was crying too but the Queens guards took her by the arms despite her struggles and stuffed her in the car. It was too much, you were sobbing, your vision blurry from the tears. You felt someone come up behind you and noticed the familiar tingle, crying harder as the car sped off into the distance. You turned and screamed in Sauls chest, luckily his strong arms were around you otherwise you’d have fallen to the ground in despair. Could today get any worse?

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Replaying the events from today to the other girls was hard. Luckily Bloom did most of the talking. Beatrix had apparently killed Callum and things were even more confusing now. You didn’t know who to trust, who to believe. Your thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.

Saul. Your tired looking soldier was standing at the door with heavy eyes. “Babe, can you come with me please, Farah wants to talk to you.” She’d already spoken to Bloom about the events earlier. Now it was your turn after having time to calm down about Stella.

Standing up silently, you made your way to the door, the girls hugging you on the way out. You had the urge to ask Saul everything there and then. Let the cat out of the bag. Say ‘I know what you did,’ but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You didn’t want to believe the reason you were an orphan was because of the man you loved. Instead you took his hand when the coast was clear and sighed, having needed his touch all day.

You found yourself at the Headmistresses office more often than not these days, but this time something felt different. You turned to Saul and look him in the eyes.

“Why do I feel like if I go in there life will never be the same again.” His hand came up to touch your cheek which you leant into, savouring his warm touch.

“Darling, everything is okay, everything will be okay I promise.” People had been making a lot of promises today, hopefully they would be able to keep them. You started for the door but then noticed Saul didn’t budge.

“Are you not coming in?” You tilted your head. He shook his and gave you a kiss before you went through the doors.

“I’ll be right outside if you need me though.” With that you left him, facing whatever punishment Headmistress Dowling had in store for you.

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It hadn’t been as bad as you thought in the beginning. She sat you down, asked you if you wanted a drink or anything. Then she got into the nitty gritty stuff about what compelled you to go with Beatrix and Bloom. Answers. Answers you needed, that’s why you went with them.

“Bloom said something about her parents being from a place called Asterdale, Beatrix knew where it was. She took us there, we hoped we would find answers about why we were changelings. Turns out we learnt an ugly truth instead.” Farah looked shocked but you continued. “She said that Rosalind took her, me and Bloom, saved us from destruction cause by you, Silva and Harvey. Is that true?” Farah had her head in her hands. Guilt. You could practically smell it on her.

“It’s not what you think Y/N, please believe me, there’s more to the story.” She stood up, walking around to stand next to you. You stood up to, moving away from the woman who had set Saul up to spy on you. How could you believe her, all she’s done since you joined this world was lie.

“Why would I believe you! You killed my fucking parents!” You were angry. So angry, You could feel your eyes turning black. The shouting had alerted Saul who tried the door handles to get into the room but with a swish of your hand, the door was sealed shut, fire melting the hinges closed.

“Just calm down Y/N, please, lets talk about this.” In the background Saul was banging on the door and calling your name.

“Because of you, I don’t have a father, because of you I’ll never know my mother!” You advanced on the woman who had her hands up ready for a fight if that’s what it came to. You could feel the power coursing through your whole body. This is why you could control your magic so easily, you were so emotional.

“Y/N, I am your mother!” Farah screamed, Saul stopped banging on the door and your eyes faded back to their normal colour.

You knew before stepping into the room that something was going to happen and you were right, your world would be changed forever.

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collecting-stories · 4 years ago

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Sex on the Beach - c. 06 - Rafe Cameron

Summary: You return to the vacation house to pack up your stuff.

A/N: I wrote this in like...45 minutes 😂 The re-write is complete...now for the last two chapters.

Holiday in the Sun Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

The room they gave you at the resort was nice, overlooking the waterpark and the ocean, twenty stories above the ground. Not as crisp white as the Nassau House had been but not quite a Hilton. You called your dad after you checked in to tell him that you had an argument with your mom and that was why you had charged the room to your allowance card, something he was perfectly okay with because that meant you liked him more for the moment.

“Divorced parents are something else.” You commented, flipping through the room service menu. You were starving, in part from not eating for an entire day, and were happy to be getting something that wasn’t dictated by your mom. “My dad was like ‘do you need more money?’...he always wants to be the favorite.”

“Ask him if he can get us our stuff back.” Rafe joked, emerging from the bathroom with the pair of shorts you’d bought in the giftshop on, they were gray and had an Atlantis emblem on the one corner.

“Did you try to get a hold of Sarah?” You asked, scooting over in bed as he sat down next to you. His hair was still wet from the shower and when he pushed it out of his face little droplets of water hit your shoulder and cheek.

“Yeah, she said ‘get your shit yourself’...real fucking helpful.” He grumbled.

“I mean, your dad is a nightmare. If I was her, I don’t know if I’d want to risk having him flip out either. Especially since they’re stuck there for the rest of the week.” You replied.

“So what’s your plan?”

“Ask Wheezie when they’re going to be out and stop by to get our stuff?” You suggested, “I still have the spare key you told me to hang on to. We could just go in and get our things and leave.”

“No, no.” He stood up and you watched as he paced for a moment before seeming to come to some sort of decision, “I’m not fucking hiding out from him.”

“You can’t just walk in there Rafe, he’ll be pissed!” You pointed out, “I really don’t think you should cause any more trouble-”

“The boat was his!”

“I’m not saying it was your fault but maybe just don’t provoke him.” You replied, “who knows what he’ll do.”

Rafe was silent for a moment and you almost thought he was starting to calm down, maybe come around to your side of the issue and realize what it was that he would be jeopardizing if he went back to the Nassau house and tried to have it out with his father. But a second later you jumped as his fist slammed against the dresser and he stormed back into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him. You weren’t sure what to say, how to ease the situation or make Rafe anything but angry at his dad.

“I’m gonna go down to the cafe, do you want anything,” you called through the bathroom door. You waited a minute for Rafe to answer but there was only silence from the other side of the door. “Rafe?”

“I don’t want anything.” He snapped.

The door to the room swung shut behind you and you walked down the long hall to the elevators. There was a little mini lobby, a room with ice and vending machines, two benches and a wall of mirrors that reflected back your exhausted appearance. You sat down on one and pulled your phone out of your pocket, calling your mom.

“Where the hell are you?” She practically screeched through the phone and you rolled your eyes. Not the supportiveness that you were unrealistically hoping for but maybe you could mold her into someone half willing to understand.

“I’m at Atlantis with Rafe, I’m using dad’s allowance money for a room.”

“That’s just like your father, swooping in to “help” as if you’re in trouble.” She bitched.

“We need our stuff-”

“You are not staying with some boy unsupervised-”

You cut her off, “mom. We need our stuff,” you repeated, hoping that she would be more moldable to your cause. “Is there a time we could come get it?”

“Exactly what do you expect me to do? Pack up your things for you and have them waiting by the door? You are serious trouble young lady! You stole someone’s boat. And what’s more? You were rude and disrespectful and ungrateful to Mr. Cameron.” She complained.

“I’m not staying in that house for the rest of vacation, pretending everything is okay. And Rafe’s not coming back either. So can we get our stuff or not?” You asked.

“Being rebellious isn’t worth your future. You’re supposed to be thinking ahead. What about college?”

“That’s two years away.” You argued, “I already sent applications, I’ve applied for scholarships, nothing is changing about college. But I’m not spending the rest of my vacation in a house with a man who assaulted me!”

“Well maybe you can buy new stuff.” She replied, the line going dead immediately after. You listened to the click off and pulled your phone away from your ear to look at the home screen. She’d hung up on you, unsurprising but not the result you wanted.

You said you were going down to the cafe so you did, grabbing an iced coffee and heading back up to your room in hopes that Rafe had cooled down enough. When you reentered the room he was laying on the bed, sprawled on his stomach with his head turned toward the window. He didn’t move when you came in and you placed your coffee on the nightstand, climbing onto the bed and sitting cross-legged beside him.

“Are you awake?”

“Unfortunately.” He grumbled.

“I think you got sunburn,” you mentioned, eyeing the harsher red of his shoulders, “or is that still from the shower.”

He didn’t answer, only pushed his face further into the pillow. You reached a hand out, laying it flat on the middle of his back. When he didn’t move, but also didn’t seem to protest, you leaned over kissing the red on his shoulders and beginning to gently rub his back.

“I called my mom.”

“You have shitty news delivery skills.” He replied, shifting over so he laying on his back. You followed his movement with your hand, your fingers brushing over his abs as they tensed beneath your touch.

“She basically said ‘screw you and your stuff’. So I guess you were right, we’ll have to go there.” You replied, “though I still think going while Ward is there might not be the best idea ever.”

“I just don’t even wanna think about all that shit tonight.” Rafe huffed.

“Oh well, I can totally help with that.”

It was earlier the next morning that Sarah texted saying that she and Topper could pack up your stuff and Rafe’s and drop it at the resort. A feasible and preferred plan to Rafe’s, going back in that house and provoking his dad would do nothing positive for their relationship or for the vacation. You knew Rafe was pissed and that he would likely stay pissed until he confronted his father but you urged him not to go to that Nassau house. Though your urging proved in vain because his promise to take you to dinner soon turned into a drive down the road to his family house, the two rentals in the driveway signaling that everyone was home.

“Rafe!” You practically hissed as you jumped out of the car, following him to the door, “what the fuck are you doing?”

The sentiment was repeated by Ward as the two of you entered the house, everyone sitting at the table for dinner looking up in shock at the sight of the two of you. You wanted to run back outside and drive away, or sink into the floor and disappear.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“Getting my stuff.” Rafe replied, already heading for the hallway while you just waited by the door, frozen, “don’t mind me though, keep having your nice family dinner.”

Ward was quick. He made it around the table and put himself between Rafe and the hallway leading to your rooms, blocking his son from getting to them. You weren’t sure what to do. In favor of not making eye contact with your mom or step-dad you had locked eyes with Topper, who was mouthing a ‘what is he doing’ to you as if you were any more clued in to the situation than anyone else. Was this what you wanted? To be the supportive backbone for someone that you barely knew because you had been crushing on him since you were thirteen and he paid you just the slightest bit of attention on a vacation that would’ve otherwise been hell. What was your motivation? That you liked him...that he liked you and that was just everything you’d ever wanted so you desperately were following him around.

“Get out of my way!” Rafe’s voice pulled you back and you looked over at him and Ward.

“I don’t hear from you for two days, no idea where either of you are...we’re all worried sick, and this is how you treat us? Show up here and waltz in like nothing is wrong, demanding your things?” Ward snapped.

“I called my mom after we checked in...I’m sure she let everyone know where we were.” You replied, “not to mention, you sitting down to eat doesn’t look like you’re too broken up about any of this.”

“You ungrateful bitch-”

“Hey!” Rafe cut his dad off, shoving him just enough that Ward stumbled back. You felt your whole body tense. You needed to get out of this room and this house and, preferably, off this island. This was nuts, this wasn’t permanent. “Don’t talk to her.”

He pushed passed Ward, knocking his shoulder with his dad’s as he headed down the hall toward his bedroom. You knew that you should follow but your feet felt glued to the spot, like you weren’t sure how to make them work anymore. Sarah got up from the table without warning and disappeared down the hall, coming back a moment later with your duffel and suitcase.

“I already packed them yesterday.” She said, passing them to you.

“Thanks.”

Before Sarah could say anything else the shouting from Rafe’s room got louder. Worried, you left your bags by the door and headed into the hallway to see what was going on. Rafe was at the door of his room, completely red-faced, mid-screaming at Ward, louder now that you were standing there, and very much close to tears. Ward was shouting at the same time and even in the room you felt like you could barely make sense of what was being said. It was like walking into something that you had no right to witness.

“Rafe,” you weren’t sure he heard you over the screaming but you placed your hand on his back and it seemed to bring him back into reality as he looked back at you, breathing heavy and labored.

“I swear to god Rafe, you walk out that door and there isn’t a place for you at home.” Ward threatened.

He paused and you almost expected him to turn and apologize or call the whole thing off and decide to stay here. Miserable, sure, but at least he wouldn’t be homeless. But instead he grabbed his stuff and walked out the door passed you.

“Happy?” Ward asked, gaze meeting yours across the room. You heard Rafe call your name from the living room and you looked toward the sound before glancing back at Ward. If you lied, you were sure he could tell. So instead, you said nothing, grabbing your luggage and heading for the door.

You knew you should’ve been happy, in a way. Rafe was basically choosing you over his family and wasn’t that some kind of oddly romantic thing? Except all you felt was a pit in your stomach, eating up whatever feelings you had other than dread, leaving you feeling empty. He was walking away from his dad and his home and you weren’t even sure how you actually felt about him.

Wheezie followed both of you out to the car and you put your bags in while Rafe swore to her that nothing bad was going to happen. “Dad and I just need time to cool off,” he promised.

“But you said we would spend vacation together!” She insisted. He had promised her, before they even left the OBX.

“And we will. I’m not breaking that promise okay?” He hugged her and then walked around the car, getting in the driver’s seat.

You got in the car, trying to ignore the glare that she sent your way. Just when you were starting to gain favor with Wheezie you’d fucked it up again by taking her brother from her. You wanted to apologize and, honestly, you wanted to be in Provincetown with your friends. A nice, drama free vacation...not this mess.

taglist: @maplelattes22 @poguesrforlife @freckled-and-daydreaming @chasefreakinstokes @millie-753 @fangirlwithme @alex12948 @katherine097 @tangledinsparkles @carbonated-beverage @mariofgreengables @damonsalvawhore27 @dopedoodes @dolanfivsosxox @belledutchess @poguelifeeee @faded-blue @parkerpetertingle @thebookwormlife @summer-clouds-and-long-days @jellyfishbeansontoast @minigranger @hoewkeye @love-someone-special @tiredfeels @strangerthanfanfiction713 @the-only-nana @mozz-are-lla @vindictive-hearts @ssprayberrythings @jenahbell @beautyandthebleh @gothackedalready @teenwaywardasgardian @sarahcxmeron @haha-fuck-you-thot @stillbelieve398-5 @rewindlr @queenniccimicci @kissessforharryyy @thedarkqueenofavalon @alytavzla @bqmblebee @linniep @nerdypartytrashpsychic @xxchxrryxx @danielladreaming @obx-saltlife @youngestxhearts @spnobsessedmemes @wowitswondergurl @aoba-josigh @pineappleandcherries @mysterious-adventurer @justawilddreamerchild @rhyetaylor62 @calm-rejects @oh-annaa @aiifandomsunite @x-lulu @ceruleanjj @wicked-laugh @obxwriterfan @allie-mcginn @literarycharleton @khiaraaa-in-spacee @crushe-s @teamnick @daydreamlilys @collectiveuniverses @activist-af @mdgrdians @buckys-sunflower @vindictive-hearts @copper-boom @talksoprettyjjx @5am-cigarette @smiithys @dontjinx-it @outerbanksbro @mysticsthinking @heavenlymama @rudy-pankow-needs-an-oscar @babymatilda @raekenliar @lemur46 @under-a-canyon-moon @calums-betch @dpaccione @bbeauttyybbx @prejudic3 @starrystarkey93 @28cnn @princezukohere

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kill-the-teen-memories · 4 years ago

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365 So Fresh Part 5

Genre: Angst/Fluff/Humor

Word Count: 2,578

Warnings: Curse words, smoking, poly, mentions of smut, character death?

Pairings: Triple H x Reader

Summary: You just wanted to take a nap wile waiting for your friends, never did you expect the car you were sleeping in to be stolen and you would end up going for a road trip with a guy who had a gambling problem, a girl who committed a murder, and a guy who seems to just hate his life. You especially didn’t expect to have feelings for them??

Hui called an uber and we waited outside of the club for a few minutes. Once we climbed into the car, we were off. My leg was shaking in anticipation, I could hear the other three, whispering in the backseat. As soon as the car came to halt, the four of us ran out. Laughing and stumbling we made it to our room. Hui pushed the door open and the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I had started developing an attachment to these three individuals and it hasn’t even been a week. “Y/N!” I heard Hyuna giggle from inside. I snapped out of my thoughts, went inside, and closed the door behind me. It all went by in a blur. All of our lips ghosting over each other’s bodies. Our clothes flying in all directions. The screams, the groans, the degradation as well as the praise. Before I knew it, I was exhausted. The last thing registering in my head was the warmth of a body covering my own and then everything went black.

I groaned as I tried to sit up but couldn’t as I was being held down by a heavy arm around my torso. I blinked a few times, trying to get my eyes to focus. The room slowly came together and I noticed it was early in the morning. I glanced at the clock on the wall, it was nearly 5 am. I then became increasingly aware of the two bodies I was laying in between. Hui had his front pressed against my back, his face in my neck, softly breathing, and an arm around my waist. While Hyuna was facing me, sound asleep. Her chest which had been exposed to the cool air around the room was slowly rising. Images from last night came tumbling into my head all at once. Being kissed by all three of them at the same time, throwing my head back as the feeling of Hui’s dick slipped in and out of me, the feeling of Hyojong’s lips pressed against my neck as he murmured praises and groans as Hyuna pleased him with her mouth. It brought a smile to my face. I moved Hui’s arm and sat up. The blanket sliding off of my own chest. I looked down at him, brushing the hair out of his face softly. I looked over to Hyuna’s side, only to realize Hyojong was nowhere to be found. As quietly as I could, I slipped out of the bed. I pulled on my underwear and grabbed Hui’s button-up. I walked into the living room, now semi-dressed and there he was. Hyojong sat on the couch, his head leaned back as he took a drag of what looked like a blunt. His eyes were closed and he was shirtless. Though he was thin, he had a nice build. My eyes raked over his body and all the bruises forming across his chest, probably from last night. He opened one eye before closing it again, “You know it’s rude to stare.” My cheeks burned slightly at the fact that I was caught. I shook my head as I made my way over to him. I plopped down on the space next to him, leaned my head on his shoulder, and sighed. He placed one hand on my exposed thigh and used his other hand to take another drag. He exhaled, “Couldn’t sleep?” I asked. He shook his head. A few minutes passed in silence. I picked my head up, placed a hand over his, and brought the blunt to my lips. He watched me carefully. His eyes flickering down to my lips where the blunt sat. I pushed his hand away and before I could exhale, he brought his lips to my own. Gently he used his tongue to open my mouth, causing me to release the smoke into his mouth. He softly groaned at the feeling, I moved his hand from my thigh and straddled him. Hui’s shirt rose up slightly, exposing my underwear. I felt Hyojong shift under me and I assumed he placed the now dead blunt on the table since both of his hands came to rest on my hips. The kiss wasn’t too needy but it was hard. Neither of us tried to take it further than just making out and I was okay with that. I parted, trying to catch my breath as Hyojong moved his head down towards my neck, leaving soft kisses. I let my hands rake through his hair, causing him to smile against my skin. He rested his chin on my shoulder as I laid my head against him. It was a soft moment compared to what had happened the night before. Soon I found myself drifting again.

When I awoke again, it felt like a different day. Except it wasn’t, Hyojong and I were still in the living room cuddled against each other. I lifted my head just in time to see Hyuna walk out of the room wearing her underwear and one of Hyojong’s shirts. “There you two are.” she smiled. I nodded at her while climbing off of Hyojong who seemed to have also fallen asleep, “Hey.” I yawned. I opened my mouth but stopped when I spotted Hui coming out of the room, pulling another one of his shirts on. “Oh! There’s my button-up.” He walked over to me placing his hands on my hips. “Good morning,” I smiled as I wrapped my arms around his neck. “My shirt looks really good on you,” he said as he pecked my lips. “Oh yeah?” I murmured. Before Hui could say anything else, Hyuna lightly smacked my ass, “Come on, get dressed, I’m hungry.” A little while later we were all dressed now and climbing into the car. The windows were rolled down, the music from the radio was playing loudly, laughter and song filled the air. It was beautiful. We ended up getting the food to go. Now we were sitting on one of the many benches surrounding the park. I didn’t give much input, I was just happy to be there and observe. I didn’t feel left out though. After we all ate and threw the food away, Hyuna reached for my hand “Come on.” she pulled me towards the swing set. We sat on them lightly swinging back and forth, that was until the boys decided to come up behind us and start pushing. It wasn’t long before Hui and Hyojong turned it into a game of who can swing the highest. Hyuna and I were just laughing and screaming the higher we got. I felt free. Eventually, the swinging came to a halt and we made our way back to the car. “Hey, I know of a place,” Hyojong spoke as he got into the passenger seat. Hui shrugged, getting behind the wheel “Lead the way.”

I looked out the window as buildings zoomed by soon turning into nothingness. Hyuna was resting against my shoulder. I looked over at her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Seriously Hyojong where the fuck are we?” Hui mumbled. We were in as some would put it “the middle of nowhere” I had no clue where we were going but Hyojong didn’t seem to mind. “Just trust me,” he said, “You’re going to lead us out here to kill us aren’t you?” Hui grumbled. “Turn right here,” Hyojong replied. “You didn’t deny it.” I chimed in.

“There’s literally no road.”

“You’re still driving.”

“I don’t even know where I’m going!”

“I do.”

“We’re going to die.”

“Stop being dramatic.”

“It’s just trees!”

“I’m aware.”

They went back and forth like this but Hui didn’t stop following Hyojong’s directions. “Okay now stop here.” Hui stopped the car and turned to the other male, “You brought us to look at trees.” Hyojong didn’t reply to that and got out of the car. Hui soon followed him. I shook Hyuna lightly, she had fallen asleep. She stirred and looked up at me. “Come on, apparently we’re here,” I told her. We both got out. “We go on foot from here,” Hyojong spoke. Hui looked at me, “We’re going to die.” I rolled my eyes and walked past him. After a few minutes of walking, Hyojong stopped. Once we all reached him we saw what he was looking at. It was a creek. There were moss-covered rocks which caused the water to form little waterfalls. The birds were chirping from above, some even drinking from the water. It was a sight. “Wow.” Hyuna breathed. Hyojong turned around looking at Hui “Told you I knew where I was going.” “You’re going to drown us,” he mumbled in reply. We all took seats by the creek. No one said anything for a while. We all just sat there appreciating nature. It wasn’t until a rabbit came into view that Hyojong broke the silence. “Isn’t it funny how life comes out differently than what you expect?” He laughed bitterly. He leaned back on his hands, head tilted up. “I wanted to be a veterinarian.” We didn’t reply so he continued “I wanted to help out, take care of and treat animals. God knows how many times I’ve tried to kill myself. How shitty my life turned out. Before this week, I couldn’t tell you the last time I had felt anything. It’s all been so meaningless. Maybe our meeting wasn’t.” “I wanted to be an entertainer.” Hui suddenly started. “I used to play piano with my mom, haven’t touched one since she left. All I ever wanted to do was make people happy by doing what I loved which was singing and playing the piano. I wonder if she still plays…” he trailed off. “I’m not sure exactly what I wanted in life, I ended up a hairdresser which I’m not too mad about but I always felt like there was something missing,” Hyuna spoke. They looked over at me but I didn’t know what to say. “I never gave anything much thought,” I mumbled, embarrassed that I didn’t have a “dream” that I wanted. “I just kind of went with things as they came. Never was truly passionate about something. I just exist, I don’t live.” I shrugged. It was true all of my interests had been fleeting, I moved on to the next thing fairly quickly. We were quiet again, everyone seemed to be thinking deeply about how their life had taken a turn. I thought back again. Growing up I had my problems, but I figured everyone did. I left my mom and the town I grew up in not long after I turned 18. Once in Seoul, I found that Bora had been looking for a roommate. Through her, I met Wooseok and Hyolyn. Yet I was never really there. I would listen to their stories of adventures and parties they went to. I hardly participated, and it wasn’t that I didn’t want to, it was that I didn’t know how. I didn’t know how to let loose and be comfortable in my own skin. The voice in the back of my head always had something to say and made me feel unsure. And that’s when I realized I hadn’t heard that voice this whole week. It was just me. As I looked out at the three of my newly found...friends, I smiled. A smile that I wasn’t faking, a smile that was as real as our surroundings. Hui nudged me with his foot. “What’s got you all smiley?” he chuckled. “I don’t know, everything, this, us.” I shrugged.

I don’t think anyone of us knew how much time had passed as we sat there in the woods, talking and listening. What we did know was that the sun had started to set somewhere behind the trees. So we got up, dusted ourselves off, and made our way back to the car. As regularly Hui drove, I got into the passenger seat, while Hyuna and Hyojong got into the back. We drove for a while to get back into the main part of town. “So what are we going to do tonight?” Hui clapped his hands together. “We could go to an arcade?” Hyuna spoke up. “Another bar?”Hyojong answered. Before I could say anything, lights flashed behind us. “Shit,” Hui mumbled. I looked in the rear mirror to see a police car driving closely behind us. The logical thing would’ve been to pull over. But seeing as the car was stolen, Hyuna was wanted for murder, and I was registered as “missing”, Hui did the next best thing. He made a sharp left into an alleyway and sped up. The police must not have seen it coming as they drove right by. Though I had a feeling this wouldn’t be the last time we saw them. As Hui continued to zoom past the streets in an attempt to lose the cops, Hyojong rolled the window down. His hair danced in the wind and he smiled. I decided to roll down my windows too. The wind was cool and refreshing. With the speed of the car and wind blowing against my face, I laughed. When lights flashed again but this time from in front of us, I laughed more. Hui made another sharp turn, narrowly missing another car. This time the cops were prepared as they made a turn equally as sharp in order to follow us. This time everyone felt the adrenaline. Hyojong climbed halfway out of the window and screamed. He then proceeded to flip off the police before getting pulled back in by a giggling Hyuna. Hui then turned onto a parking garage, the cop car that had been following us soon turned into three. Soon we made it to the top of the structure and we all climbed out messily. Still laughing, we ran over to the edge. “Wow. It’s beautiful.” I said as I looked out to the city lights. The other three nodded in agreement. We finally heard the sirens behind us and car doors slamming. One of the officers brought out a megaphone and yelled something about our hands. I couldn’t hear clearly, my ears were ringing. None of us turned around or even acknowledge the police. We all just held hands and stared out into the night. “Together?” Hyuna yelled. Without missing a beat, the remaining of us yelled back “Together!” I heard a faint “No” somewhere in a distance but it was too late. We had jumped. I glanced over to my side in time to see that Hyuna, Hyojong, and Hui were indeed there. I wasn’t alone. I looked up to see the stars and once again, smiled. I was going to be one of them soon. Falling is a weird feeling. Knowing that you’ll soon hit the ground is a weird feeling. But it’s free. It’s all apart of the journey in the end. And with one final glance at the moon, I closed my eyes. Until I felt no more.

When I opened my eyes again, everything was white. The deafening sound of silence was all to be heard. That was until I saw Hyuna appear, followed by Hyojong and Hui. They were all smiling and gestured at me. “Well come on!” Hyuna giggled. My smile grew as I sprinted in their direction, their arms awaiting me. I was home. And then we walked. We walked until our surroundings slowly disappeared and we were nothing but a speck.

Taglist: @cherrycolababie @killcomet @coolssssssss

A/N: AAAAA My first completed series!!! I know this part may not be the best especially with the long wait but it’s here. Pls pls let me know what we all think!

#kpop angst #kpop scenarios #kpop series #hyuna scenarios #hyuna angst #hui angst #hui scenarios #edawn scenario #edawn angst

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bangtan-sonyeonddaeng · 5 years ago

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BTS Mafia AU| You both are arranged to be married and he is sad on your wedding night

Namjoon

Namjoon was laying on the couch in the living room, and you were in the bedroom. This was how you two had went to sleep every night. You were put into an arranged marriage and were set to be joined together tomorrow. You couldn’t sleep, feeling anxious about everything. You got up to get a glass of water when you heard a loud sigh come from the couch.

“You can’t sleep either?” You ask Namjoon.

“No.” You sit down on the end of the couch by his feet. He sits up with you and runs his fingers through his hair.

“You want to talk about it?”

“No. It’s nothing I haven’t already said before. It’s nothing against you so please don’t take it that way. I just don’t want to get married this young to someone I barely know. But I guess it can’t be helped.”

“Well we might as well make the most of it right?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean we can get to know each other. I know we’ve only known each other for a month but, I’ve come to know a few things about you.” He lifts an eyebrow at you questioningly.

“Like what?”

“That you’re hard working, passionate, and you care about the people closest to you more than anything.” He smiles at that and you offer him a smile back. You reach your hand over and take his and hold it in yours. “We’re both in this shitty situation but at least we’re together and have each other.”

“You’re right.” He kisses the back of your hand and you feel your face heating up.

“You want to come sleep with me? I feel bad that you’ve been sleeping on the couch all this time.”

“Oh, no it’s okay I’ll just stay here. Really I don’t want to intrude or make you uncomfortable.”

“Mmm, nope come on. I insist.” You stand up and tug him off the couch. He’s not used to people telling him what to do other than his parents, but he finds himself more than willing to listen to you as he trails after you, smiling to himself. Maybe things will work out after all.

Jin

Jin didn’t keep his displeasure about this arranged marriage a secret. He vocalized it constantly. Around you, his parents, your parents, but they basically told him to suck it up and that the didn’t have a choice if he wanted to take over the crime syndicate for you and your family. You two are sat on the couch, watching a movie when Jin suddenly speaks and interrupts your own thoughts.

“This sucks.”

“So you’ve said before.. many times.”

“I just don’t get why our parents are doing this! I mean no offense y/n. We’ve known each other for a while now and you’re really sweet and funny and honestly have become a really close and trusted friend but, I’m not ready to be married!”

“So why don’t we just run away then?”

“I’m sorry?”

“We can just leave. We don’t have to stay.” Jin scoffs and stares at you incredulously.

“You obviously don’t realize my family has members of our gang in every major city in the world. I can’t go anywhere without being found out.”

“We could go to a small town somewhere. Where no one would know or recognize us. Or we could just go to some deserted island and start our own country or something I don’t know.” Jin laughs and you smile at him back.

“If you weren’t Jin, heir to the most notorious crime family in the world what would you be doing with your life right now?” Your question causes Jin to freeze for a moment, trying to think of an answer.

“I don’t know. I really haven’t given it much thought.”

“Oh come on, surely you have.”

“I mean.. I guess I would want to be a singer. I’ve always loved singing. It makes me happy and makes me forget about my problems for a little while. But I don’t see a point in thinking about that now when there’s nothing I can do to change my circumstances.”

“Will you sing something for me?”

“You... what now?”

“Will you sing for me? I want to hear you.” Jin’s mouth hangs open in surprise for a moment before he nods his head and agrees. His voice immediately soothes you, and seems to soothe his worries too as he sways and gets lost in the music. When he finished singing he looks at you and smiles.

“Thank you y/n. I feel a lot better now actually.”

“You’re welcome, Jin. You’ll always have me, okay? We’re in this together.”

Yoongi

Yoongi had been acting weird all day. He seemed rather sad and gloomy. It was the day before you two were supposed to be married and you knew this had to be bothering him. He made it clear from the start he didn’t want to marry you, that he was only doing this to please his parents so he could produce an heir and carry on the family name. However, you thought over the past few months you had cracked his shell even a little bit.

He was sat in the chair, staring out the window at the cars passing by and sipping a glass of wine looking completely lost in his thoughts.

“Yoongi?” He sighs before turning his gaze onto you.

“Yeah?”

“Is everything okay? You’ve been acting really weird today.”

“Well it’s the day before my arranged marriage how are you expecting me to be? Happy?” His words hurt you, and you look away down at your feet. His gaze softens for a moment before the hard look is back on his face.

“I’m sorry. I know the last thing you want is to be married to me and if I had a choice I would go to my parent right now and tell them to call the whole thing off. I don’t want you to be miserable with me the rest of your life.” You excuse yourself and walk back into the bedroom. It’s an hour later, you can’t sleep as you’re staring up at the ceiling, contemplating running away and just starting a new life when the door swings open. Yoongi stumbles into the room and you can smell the alcohol on him from across the room. He flops into bed next to you.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“What?” You ask feeling rather startled and confused.

“I wasn’t supposed to actually fall in love with you. You deserve to be happy, to be with someone you actually want to marry, not me.”

“Yoongi..”

“I’m sorry.” You hear his voice crack and your heart aches for him. You lean over and grab his hand, lacing your fingers together and giving his hand a light squeeze.

“Don’t apologize. There’s worse people I can think of that I could be in an arranged marriage with.”

“You aren’t helping, you know?” You giggle and scoot closer to him.

“What I’m saying is that I like you, Yoongi. Sure we’re doing things completely out of order but I could see myself falling in love with you too.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. I’m dead serious.”

“Well that’s a whole weight lifted off my shoulders now that I know I’m not forcing you. Hey after our wedding, do you want to go somewhere? Just the two of us, maybe take a honey moon and just get to know each other?”

“That sounds perfect. I would love that. I really hope you remember this in the morning and don’t go back to being brooding and annoyed with me.”

“I was never annoyed with you, just with myself I guess. And trust me I am not going to forget the fact that there is a chance for us to actually be happy together.”

Hoseok

You knew Hoseok was acting down tonight because of the marriage that was set to happen tomorrow. It had been forced upon the two of you, and although you got along well enough you both were a long way from being ready to be married to one another. Your parents had only given you both one month to get to know one another before they announced your marriage that would be in just a week.

Now the night before your wedding is here, and Hoseok has been looking like he was on the verge of panic and tears the whole night. You knew you wanted to cheer him up, so you did everything you could to make him happy. You cooked him his favorite meal, which earned you a small smile. When you also announced that you made his favorite dessert too his face seemed to light up a little. He thanked you for doing those small nice gestures for him but quickly settled back into his poor mood. You did something you had never done before, called his mom.

“Hello Mrs. Jung?”

“Oh! Y/n? Is everything okay?”

“Um, well Hoseok just seems a little down tonight. I made him his favorite food and dessert but it still isn’t helping lift his spirits is there anything I can do? What is he passionate about? What does he like doing?”

“Well, he loves to dance. I know that seems weird. Heir to the Jung family syndicate is actually an amazing dancer.. I always kind of hoped he would gain the courage to stand up to his father and pursue his dreams of becoming a dancer instead of taking over but.. Oh don’t you dare tell either of them I said that!” You laugh and cover your mouth, not wanting to seem rude for finding the little outburst amusing.

“I won’t say anything, I promise. Thank you, Mrs. Jung.”

“You’re welcome dear. I’ll see you tomorrow at the wedding.” You hang up the phone and walk into the living room, connecting your phone to the bluetooth speakers.

“Y/n what are you doing?” You turn on his favorite song, which his mom so graciously texted you after you hung up. You start moving around the room, dancing about and motioning with your hands for him to join you. Ever the dancer at heart, Hoseok begins tapping his feet along to the beat before he stands up, taking you by your hips and dancing you around the room, completely catching you off guard but blowing you away with his dance skills. You step away after a moment, just choosing to stand to the side and watch him get lost in the music. When the song ends he is panting and out of breath, but the smile you had come to adore so much is back on his face.

“Thank you, y/n. I needed that. How did you know I was a dancer?”

“Ah, well I may have called your mom for advice on how I can cheer you up.”

“Really? You did that for me?”

“I did. I know this relationship is kind of built on a forced marriage but, that doesn’t mean I still can’t be kind to you and be there for you.” Hoseok smiles and brings you over to pull you into a hug.

“And the same goes for you too. I hope you can rely on me to help you if you’re ever feeling sad as well.”

Jimin

Jimin has been moping all night. Which was really unlike him. Even with the whole arranged marriage thing hanging over his head he still was usually pleasant towards you. He didn’t blame you for his circumstances at all. However now that it is the night before your wedding he’s been locked inside the bedroom all day. You’re getting quite tired and want to sleep, so you knock on the door quietly.

“Jimin? Can I come in?”

“Sure..” You hear the door unlock and wait a moment before opening it. You find Jimin sitting on the bed, looking rather sad. His eyes are puffy like he’s been crying. You sit next to him and reach out to hold his hand but he moves away from you.

“Don’t.”

“Why? What’s gotten into you, you aren’t acting like your self?”

“Because I feel like such a horrible and shitty person and I hate this situation we’ve been put in to. I feel like I am forcing you to marry me even though it’s our parents. I could put a stop to it if I really wanted to, but I’m being selfish because I actually like you and I feel terrible.”

“Jimin-”

“Don’t try to comfort me please. Just don’t.”

“Goddamnit Park Jimin will you listen to me for one fucking second?” His eyes go wide when you swear at him. You never curse at him and have never raised your voice to him even once. You have his undivided attention now. “If I really didn’t want to marry you then I would have just dropped everything and left, okay? I do like you. And I care about my family as well as your own so I am sticking around because I want to. Not because you are forcing me. So stop saying those awful things about yourself because they aren’t true.” A small smile forms on his face, the corner of his mouth tugging up and his eyes slightly disappear as he looks at you.

“You really mean that?”

“Absolutely. Now let’s get some sleep. We have a big day tomorrow and I am not going to look like trash on my wedding day because I didn’t get enough sleep.” Jimin chuckles as he scoots over into bed and pats the space next to him. You law down and turn the lamp off.

“Goodnight, Mrs. Park.”

“Goodnight, Jiminie.”

Taehyung

Seeing Taehyung so sad and gloomy the night before your wedding made you feel terrible. You knew he didn’t want to get married to you. Taehyung was a romantic at heart. He had told you so many times when you stayed up late talking into the night trying to make the most of your situation. He told you he saw himself being with the person for at least a year before proposing, getting married maybe a year after that in the fall, and then having kids and growing old together. However coming from a mafia family had thrown a wrench in his plans when they announced he would be marrying you, to form a stronger alliance and merge your two crime families together. Taehyung was sitting on the couch, staring into the glass of wine that had remain untouched for the last hour as he swirled it around, seemingly hoping to find the solution to all his problems in there.

“Tae?”

“Mm?”

“Are you okay?”

“Not really, no.” He sighs and sets the glass down, throwing his head back onto the couch and staring up at the ceiling, hoping to find the answers that the wine hadn’t given him. Before he can process what is happening a loud pop song is blaring through the speakers and he’s yanked off the couch by you.

“Y/n what on earth-” He’s interrupted by you suddenly shouting and singing along very loudly (and badly) to the song playing.

“Dance with me. Everybody 1, 2, 3!” You reach out and grab his hands and make him dance with you. It doesn’t take long before Taehyung feels all of his sadness melt away. He sings along and gives in, dancing with you and putting everything he’s got into singing the chorus of the song with you. He pretends to be play the air guitar, and you pretend to play the drums. The both of you are bursting into laughter watching the other ones antics. Your eyes meet for a brief moment and Taehyung’s gaze softens. He walks over to the stereo and turns the music down.

“Come here.” He holds his arms out and you walk over to him and wrap your arms around his waist. “Thank you y/n. I really needed that.”

“You’re welcome, Tae. I know you don’t want to marry me but we can at least have fun together right?”

“Even though this is completely different than what I was expecting out of my life, I think I am okay with this.“ You smile up at him and Taehyung pecks a quick kiss to your forehead.

“Good. I’m really glad to hear that.”

Jungkook

“God this sucks, Jin hyung.”

“What does?”

“This whole arranged marriage thing. I don’t know why my parents are pushing this on me so much! I’m only 22 years old I have plenty of time to find someone I actually love and get married to but they want to ‘ensure the family name gets passed on’. It’s bullshit.” Jungkook didn’t realize you were home yet and could hear his entire conversation with his friend whom he had on speaker phone.

“Give y/n a chance Jungkook. They might surprise you. I’ve actually met them quite a few times and they’re really sweet. I actually think your parents did well in picking a good match for you.”

“But we’ve barely talked and I feel like we’re strangers.”

“And who’s fault is that? Y/n has made plenty of attempts to try and get to know you and vice versa but you acted like a child and ignored them because you were pissy with your mom and dad.” Now Jungkook feels bad for a whole new reason. He hadn’t realized this until Jin called him out on it.

“Well damnit. Now I feel bad..”

“As you should. Give y/n a chance Kook, that’s all I’m asking.”

“Okay, fine. Bye hyung.” He hangs up the phone. Jungkook processes Jin’s words and you make a noise in the kitchen to alert him to your presence.

“Oh! Hey y/n uh, when did you get home.”

“Just now. Were you talking to Jin?”

“Yeah, just wedding nerves and everything.”

“I’m sorry we’re both in this situation. I know you don’t want to marry me and we’re both really young. You’d probably rather be living up your 20′s instead of being tied to me. I feel bad.”

“Oh, no it’s okay y/n. Really. I know I have to do what I need to for our families, I’m sure you feel the same way right?”

“Yeah. Sure thing.” You both fall into an awkward silence after that. You can tell by how sad he looks that he still isn’t okay with this. “Well since you’re nervous and all do you want to practice our dance?”

“What?”

“The bridge and groom always share a dance together. Do you want to practice with me? Maybe you’ll be less nervous if you’re prepared. “

“Um, yeah s-sure.” You play a slow song on your phone, grabbing Jungkook’s hands and places one on your hip and the other in your hand as you sway back and forth. Why did he never notice how beautiful your eyes were before? How beautiful you were in general. How cute your smile was. He finds himself gradually relaxing and letting go. He even playfully spins you and dips you causing you to let out giggles when he does and he loves the sound of it. The song ends and you move away from him.

“Are you feeling less nervous now?”

“Huh? Oh yeah. A lot better now. Thank you y/n.”

“You’re welcome Jungkook. Don’t be up too late we have a busy day tomorrow, yeah?”

“Y-yeah. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” Jungkook is in fact up late, having an internal crisis when he realizes that Jin is right. He’s going to give this a real shot with you and make the most of it if he can.

496 notes · View notes

welllpthisishappening · 4 years ago

Text

It wasn’t supposed to end like this.

With bright lights and beeping machines and out-of-date magazines. Roland’s career was supposed to end with confetti. Maybe a parade. At least some sort of cheering, because if there was cheering then it wouldn’t be possible to hear how difficult it was for Matt to catch his breath and if he started crying in the waiting room he was never going to forgive himself.

Or: Roland Locksley gets hurt and Matt Jones doesn’t handle it very well.

----

Rating: Teen, but like with a heaping side of angst Word Count: 5.2K or so AN: This story has been living rent free in the back corner of my mind that I reserve for angsty hockey head canons for as long as I can remember and last week I finally sat down and typed it. Anyway, this is as angsty as advertised, is basically just original characters at this point and I had no intention of actually posting it anywhere, but I thrive on forcing hockey words at the internet so here we go. Also, probably important to remember that Roland and Lizzie are together and that Taylor is Phillip and Aurora’s kid. I was not kidding about this really being mostly original characters.

----

“Where is he? Is everything—”

Matt cut himself off. Nearly bit his tongue in half in the process too, but he also couldn’t quite come to terms with the overall circumference of Lizzie’s eyes or just how quickly Peggy had slid in the chair she was draped across.

Both of their mouths dropped open.

Audibly.

“What are you—” Lizzie breathed, shaking her head slowly and she didn’t blink. Matt wasn’t sure she was capable. That was fair. Every time he blinked he saw the play all over again. In slow motion, even. Like his brain was trying to remind him of the wholly inhuman angle Roland’s leg had taken when he slammed into the boards and no one was supposed to slam into the boards like that.

“MD,” Peggy said when the rest of Lizzie’s sentence drifted into the low hum of an exceptionally packed waiting room. “What are you doing here? How are you here?” “They do have cars, Mar.” “Was that supposed to rhyme?”

“And he doesn’t know how to drive,” Lizzie mumbled. Matt ignored that. “Where is he?”

Taking his time on every word felt like overkill, even as Matt was saying them, but he was also at least passably familiar with the accepted resting heart rate for professional athletes and his appeared close to beating out of his chest.

Someone was walking towards them.

And Lizzie still hadn’t blinked yet.

“They took him to pre-op twenty minutes ago.” Matt startled at the new voice, not entirely surprised to see Taylor turning the nearest corner with three cups of undoubtedly shitty coffee clutched in his hands. “I didn’t get you any of this. Did you fly here?” “I don’t want your garbage coffee anyway. Probably burnt.” “You’re something of a snob, you know that?” Matt shrugged, trying to ignore the exact way his stomach continued to clench. Although when that same organ had spent most of the rented car ride from New York to Philadelphia trying to lodge itself in the middle of Matt’s throat, he supposed this was a step in the right direction

Metaphorically speaking.

Now that he was in the hospital, he wasn’t doing very much literal stepping. His legs felt like they’d frozen.

Locked up. Particularly in the knee-type area.

Knees were not meant to bend like Roland’s had.

“What’s the kid doing here?” Matt nodded towards Taylor, who only grumbled a few choice words under his breath while he doled out garbage coffee and he must have bailed on his classes that afternoon. Apparently none of them could operate without at least a few of the others, because no one was entirely surprised when Taylor decided to go to school in Philadelphia and Temple didn��t have a hockey team, but that probably wasn’t really all that important.

The Mills-Locksley plastered across the back of Taylor’s t-shirt looked bigger than usual.

Peggy made a face as soon as she took her first sip of coffee, the expression quickly evolving into a glare. Directed entirely at Matt. That didn’t seem fair, honestly. He’d spent a lot of money on that car. “Does front office know you’re here? Or Henry?”

“Those two don’t go together.” She rolled her eyes. While Matt’s kept darting towards Lizzie — who, it seemed, was trying her best to bite her lip in half. Wringing her fingers together wasn’t doing much to help the anxious energy practically falling off her, the kind of pale that made it look like she hadn’t seen the outside world in several decades.

She kept tapping her right foot. Five quick movements, the bottom of her heel colliding with the tiled floor, and a sharp inhale on every third tap. Her gaze had a distinctly glazed edge to it.

“Henry didn’t have any idea Matt was going to be here,” Lizzie muttered, not taking her eyes off him. It felt like she was staring through him. Or at whatever was directly over his right shoulder.

Looked pretty interesting.

Distracting, maybe.

Matt could have used a distraction.

“Didn’t say anything, at least,” she added, “neither did Gina or Robin. But, they’re uh—I mean they’re kind of preoccupied and—” Something wasn’t right.

Less right. Than the piece of shit situation they were in now.

He really hadn’t thought when he’d left New York. Just told everyone that he wasn’t going to be at skate that morning and made a few phone calls, sent a text to his parents and his brother, and the whole thing would probably end with some sort of lengthy discussion about priorities that Matt wasn’t particularly interested in hearing, but he really had lost track of how often he watched the video and people knew.

What Roland meant. To him. To the game. To the way Matt was when he played.

So, he’d sat in the backseat of that car, twisting his phone and resisting the urge to torture himself some more and maybe he should have told someone he was coming. Seemed almost redundant though.

People knew.

Everyone knew.

Something was incredibly wrong.

“Lizzie,” Matt said, unable to stop himself from stretching the name out into some sort of reprimand. She blinked. He was suffocating.

Shaking her head slowly appeared to be the only answer she was capable of giving at the moment, which wasn’t so much frustrating as it was a little overwhelming and Matt was going to set records. For self-inflicted oxygen deprivation.

His mind raced.

Tried to understand options and recovery periods and—this wasn’t the first time this had happened to Roland. Matt licked his lips. Several times. Didn’t help. Lizzie blinked again. And he kept trying to think. Because ACL injuries were common now, the inevitable cause behind most of the NHL’s publicized “lower body injuries,” and surgeries were relatively quick, but multiple issues with the muscle that basically allowed skating couldn’t have possibly been good or healthy and—

“No,” Matt exhaled.

Lizzie closed her eyes. Lightly, as if she were giving into the feeling or everything she hadn’t said yet and it was Matt’s turn to shake his head.

In disagreement.

Of the strongest kind.

“No, no,” he chanted. “That’s—c’mon, you guys are kidding me.” Peggy’s mouth twisted, as far away from a smile as the movement could be. “No one said anything, MD. Seriously, are you going to get in trouble for this?” “Fuck that.” “An irresponsible mindset.”

Something flew out of Matt — loud and wholly inhuman, like it was scratching its way from the depths of his soul and some deep, dark part of him where disappointment lurked and unfair things festered and this wasn’t fair. Nothing about this was right.

He wanted time to freeze. To stop and give him a chance to understand, for his pulse to settle and his legs to move because he needed to move and Matt couldn’t move and there were tears on Lizzie’s cheeks.

Machines beeped at the other end of the hallway. Outdated magazines moved as other people who did not have several worlds crashing around them at that very moment looked for something interesting to read in Philadelphia’s most brightly-lit waiting room. Orthopedic shoes squeaked on the floor.

Voices drifted. Calls and pages and a slew of other words Matt couldn’t begin to think of or even pretend to care about.

Taylor downed the rest of his coffee.

“Might not be good, Mattie,” he mumbled.

And that was it. Of all the things that could do it, Matt wasn’t entirely surprised when a decades-old nickname was the thing that pushed him over that metaphorical edge. Directly into what felt like a never-ending chasm of knowing and understanding and Peggy really was very quick on her feet.

Moving into his space, her hands on his chest were most of the reason Matt didn’t fall over right there. Plus his knees. Which refused to function, still. She had to press up on her toes to curl his t-shirt into her fingers, saying things he didn’t hear and didn’t want to understand and the feeling of weightlessness on his descent into that metaphorical chasm was oddly pleasant.

He figured that would end relatively quickly.

“What—” Matt’s voice didn’t sound like his. Rasped out of him through lips that were quickly turning chapped, and that didn’t make sense either. It was April. Playoffs were just starting.

It was so goddamn sunny out.

He resented it, honestly.

“What, uh—what have the doctors said so far? That’s...I mean, I know it was shitty, but Rol’s come back from—” “—Yeah,” Henry said, appearing out of seemingly nowhere with neither one of his parents nearby, “that’s not really what he wants to do anymore.”

“Be more specific, old man.” “Ah, that’s just rude.” “It wasn’t just last night,” Lizzie whispered, and Matt genuinely did not know where to look. He had to pick somewhere. He couldn’t glare at all of them at once.

He tried anyway.

“What does that mean?” “Something about a camel and last straw, I think.” “Grandma is not here, Elizabeth.” Narrowing her eyes only made the red in them more pronounced, a thin line across her face that Matt was sure had, at one point, been her mouth. “You know better than anybody, Mattie. Teams don’t disclose injuries like that. We—” Lizzie huffed, another quick shake of her head that only served to make her hair flutter against her cheeks, “He’s been playing banged up all year.” “Banged up? That’s what we’re going with?” “What would you like?” “Hurt?” Matt snarled, marginally disappointed when he couldn’t control the volume of his voice. Anger mixed with fear, manifesting itself into a weird tightening around his core and possibly the general area of his spleen.

He wasn’t ever sure what the point of his spleen was, exactly.

“It’s....it hasn’t been easy,” Lizzie explained. “This season, at least. Playing so long last year didn’t help with his knees and skating isn’t—” “—Easy?” “If you’re going to be a dick about this, you can get back in a car I know you paid way too much for and go home.”

Deflating wasn’t exactly a word Matt wanted to think about in that moment. But for as quickly as the fight had risen in him, it disappeared even faster. Leaving nothing more than a sharp emptiness in the very center of him.

None of it made sense.

“I really paid way too much to get here,” Matt admitted.

Lizzie sniffled, dragging her hands down either one of her cheeks with enough force that she left angry red streaks in her wake and it didn’t look like she’d slept in several days. Possibly this whole season.

“How bad was bad, then?” “Bad,” she echoed. “He’d kill me if he knew I said this, but getting to the Conference Finals took a lot last season. All those extra games and that triple overtime was a fucking disaster and...you know, there’s something about the way he plays. Never the biggest guy, or the most physical, but it—”

Lizzie tugged her lips behind her teeth, another inhale that affected Matt’s respiratory system and this was why. Why he didn’t waste time thinking. Why he wouldn’t look at a single newspaper article the next day. Why he had to be here for a surgery he’d spend sitting in a mass-produced plastic chair.

Because he knew. What this game meant to Roland. And what losing it would do to him.

“Spent half his mornings in PT this year, and never really said anything, but I—”

Lizzie always had exceptionally straight teeth.

When they were kids, Matt thought it was entirely unfair that she hadn’t needed braces or a retainer or anything. She simply existed and everything was great. That had been some sort of trend for most of their lives. Lizzie knew. She had a plan and a list, and she got shit done. No matter what else was going on or who else said it was impossible, and when people had started muttering and questioning, whispering about how much older Roland was than her, she’d flashed them that kind of hundred-watt smile that usually distracted opposing counsel and, quite easily, told them to go fuck themselves.

Lizzie never broke.

She never wavered. She believed and she knew and she fixed everything.

None of this could get fixed.

At least not entirely.

And every one of her perfectly straight teeth was on display when she grimaced.

“It hurt to skate,” Lizzie breathed, “every time he got on the ice. But he’s an idiot, so—” Matt chuckled, a sniffle of his own and eyes that couldn’t see more than a few feet in front of him anymore. “Anyway, uh...we’d talked about it, a little. What would happen after the season, but that always seemed like such a far away thing and then there’s playoffs and that’s just another season, isn’t it? I’m rambling. Aren’t I?” “A little,” Matt agreed.

“You really came down here.” “That wasn’t a question.” “More a slightly stunned observation.” Matt’s smile felt carved onto his face, nothing more than muscles that weren’t all that inclined to move the way he wanted them to. “Was he playing on the tear?” “No, no, no,” Lizzie promised quickly, but Matt lifted his eyebrows and Taylor snickered into his empty coffee cup. “Might have been strained.” “Likely,” Peggy amended.

Widening his eyes, Matt hoped he didn’t look as deranged as he felt. “You might have been right about the camel and the straw.” “Is that two different cliches?” Lizzie asked. “Yeah, absolutely. Grandma really would be impressed.” Another less-than-impressive laugh fell out of Lizzie at the same time her chin dropped to her shirt. “You play through the pain, Mattie. As idiotic as it’s always been. That’s the game, isn’t it?”

“It’s a dumb one.” “Yeah, it is. A good one too, though. Sometimes. Most of the time, really. All those cheers and the people and every stupid opinion on TV shows and tweets. You play for that chance. To be something bigger than yourself. To leave it all behind, for people to remember you by. You play for the possibility of it all, and sometimes you forget what losing that will mean.”

Matt’s hands moved. Darted, really. Onto Peggy’s shoulders and she grit her teeth at the force of his grip, but she didn’t tell him to move and he was going to have to take her to Serendipity for that.

“You’re going to dislocate something in her,” Taylor chided lightly. He dropped into Peggy’s forgotten chair, catching one of Lizzie’s hands when she started wringing her fingers again. She didn’t pull away, either.

Matt shook his head. He wasn’t sure what he was objecting to anymore. “I don’t think I have that kind of dexterity in my fingers, actually.” “Good word,” Henry murmured.

“How long have you been here?” “Since last night. There was some talking and,” he shrugged, “planning and discussion. Now, Luce and Ella are back at the apartment trying to make sure no one starves after this operation—” “—Awfully pointed,” Lizzie interrupted. Taylor squeezed her hand. Her head fell to his shoulder. Which couldn’t have been very comfortable with the armrest looking like it was poking rather prominently into her ribs.

“What have you eaten since the game?” “Uh, like...some saltines.” Peggy groaned. “Liar, you took at least two bites of my egg sandwich this morning. Please stop spreading rumors like that.”

Lizzie’s answering laugh sounded far too watery.

“And,” Henry added, “Mom and Dad are outside talking to El and Liam who just got here and had to park several miles away, or so they claimed.”

“My parents are here?” Lizzie asked. “Probably texted you several dozen times.” Without letting go of Taylor’s hand, Lizzie threatened to dislocate her own shoulder as she yanked her phone out of her back pocket. She let out a low curse at the number of messages she’d missed, and Matt was getting a little frustrated that no one had actually confirmed anything to him yet.

He also didn’t object when Peggy curled against his side.

Made it easier to rest his chin on top of her head, anyway.

And none of them flinched when the automatic doors slid open, four more sets of footsteps and muted discussion in obviously worried tones — but Lizzie wasn’t much more than a blur when she moved, launching herself into Aunt Elsa’s outstretched arms.

“It’s ok elskan, it’s ok,” Aunt Elsa said, one of her hands coming up to cup the back of Lizzie’s head as she pressed endearments into her temple. None of the words were in English. Peak Jones comforting techniques. In addition to losing track of how often he’d watched the video, Matt couldn’t even begin to guess how many times his parents had done the same thing to him, quiet assurances and guarantees that worked when he was young, but might have rung a little hollow now and maybe he was just some sort of pessimistic asshole.

No one had said the word actual yet.

He wouldn't believe it until Roland told him.

“C’mon MD,” Peggy said, tugging him back towards a pair of empty chairs on Taylor’s other side. “I can’t support your weight forever.”

He let her direct him, not sure if his lack of fight was a reaction to Lizzie or how blotchy Gina’s face was when she followed Robin into the waiting room, or how at some point in the next three hours he’d become the de facto contact point for anyone not in Philadelphia.

Dad texted him and Mom called him — another round of those quiet assurances that Matt tried desperately to believe, but the growing lump in his throat made it difficult to respond and time was going backwards, he was sure. Chris FaceTimed. Four different times.

“Nothing to report, kid,” Matt said, for at least the seventy-sixth time. Peggy was pacing a lopsided circle in front of him, Lizzie’s head resting on Aunt Elsa’s leg and her feet propped against Uncle Liam’s knee.

“That’s bullshit.” “Saying it over and over is not going to help, Toph,” Henry muttered, not bothering to open his eyes. It was the middle of the afternoon.

Matt couldn’t imagine any of them had slept the night before. What with life-changing conversations to have, and everything.

“Lizzie eat yet?”

Matt’s eyes darted towards his cousin, but she didn’t so much as move — let alone show any signs of hunger, and he very much doubted she’d even tasted those so-called bites of sandwich she’d taken that morning.

“Gets in her own head,” Chris mumbled, “can’t think about anything as human as sustenance.” Sliding down in his chair wouldn’t help the covertness of a conversation that should have had headphones, but Matt was getting more desperate the longer he sat there and he was even more convinced Lizzie wasn’t paying attention to him. “At some point, I’m pretty positive Aunt Gina’s just going to take over and start doling out rations to everyone and—”

He cut himself off.

Suddenly. Sharply. As soon as he processed the specific squeak moving towards them and how quickly it stopped in front of Lizzie.

She swung her feet back onto the floor.

“Got quite a party out here, don’t you?” the doctor asked, like that was a joke and he was allowed to smile and both Peggy and Chris clicked their tongues knowingly. At Matt. Who couldn't see his face, but knew all too well the glare it had almost immediately shifted into.

His shoulders rolled forward too.

“Like he’s going to check the goddamn medical professional,” Peggy muttered conspiratorially. Chris rolled his eyes.

“Get fined, suspended and arrested, maybe?”

“That’d be a fun distraction.” “I will kill both of you,” Matt hissed. Peggy scrunched her nose when she nodded. For added effect. And obnoxiousness.

And he was so busy doling out threats that Matt barely heard the updates. Something about feeling good and still a little groggy, but coherent and Lizzie nodded in what could only be described as understanding and possible hope while the doctor listed post-op plans and medicine schedules and then they were moving and squeaking and Matt was back to waiting.

Impatiently.

He picked up Peggy’s route, ignoring the lingering looks from Henry and Taylor and Aunt Elsa caught his hand before he was entirely ready for it.

“You’re making me dizzy,” she smiled, pulling him next to her. Still no fight. The lump in Matt’s throat was enormous.

“Sorry.” “Ridiculous.” “Is that a compliment or an observation?” “Eh, little of column A, little of column B. How’s your breathing going?” Blushing was stupid, all things considered — but Matt suddenly felt like he was ten years old and getting caught for shoving Peggy into the pool because of course the Vankald-Jones’ moved into a house outside of D.C. that had a pool. Perfect family life demanded such things.

“That’s what I thought,” Aunt Elsa nodded, “you know, sometimes you are so much like your dad it is amazing.” “Oh, that didn’t sound like a compliment either.” “It wasn’t,” Uncle Liam said, a soft laugh clinging to the words. “Nice shot the other night, by the way. When you guys start the next series?” “Once Carolina and Pittsburgh finish. They’re probably going to go seven, though.” “Carolina’s a better match for you guys, right?” Matt shrugged. “Both of ‘em have their strengths, but—” He desperately needed to finish his sentence. That proved impossible when he heard Henry’s smile stretch across his face, and Uncle Liam didn’t bother to hide his own look, a distraction that almost took root in the form of a politically correct and PR-approved answer and—“It’d be fun to fuck up Pittsburgh” Matt finished. “That center of theirs is a bastard.” “That’s the spirit.”

And, really, it didn’t take long. For Lizzie to come back and Aunt Gina to pretend like she hadn’t been crying, and Uncle Robin’s hand appeared cemented to the back of his neck, but then Matt was standing and Henry was standing and neither one of them double checked. They went in at the same time.

To a room that was also questionably bright, bouquets of flowers already dotting a variety of flat surfaces. An IV wire ran towards the bed, the same one Roland was propped up in with more pillows than the hospital could have ever provided.

“Your mom bring those?”

Roland's grin threatened to split his face. The ache returned to Matt’s chest. “Don’t act like you aren’t jealous. And it smells like a goddamn rose garden in here. They’re going to have to drag me out.” “Don’t tell Lizzie that, she might not ever forgive you.” “She likes all those sweet smells at home. Vanilla, sugar cookie, cinnamon, coffee house whatever.” “Is a coffee house inherently sweet?” “Yes,” Roland replied, “and it’s our biggest disagreement ever.” Matt stopped short, not sure when he’d crossed so much of the room or how close he was to the bed and more beeping machines. “That so?” “Huh. You want to do this now, then?” Anger really was the most ridiculous reaction. It wasn’t Matt’s knee. Wasn’t his career or his legacy — which was stupid in its own right because Roland was this team and this city and the only reason they’d even gotten to the fucking Eastern Conference Finals the season before was because he’d set up the game-winner the series before and it had been a seven-game series and if Matt actually started crying in this overly bright hospital room he was never going to forgive himself.

“Is that the reason for the face?” “You cannot hold a conversation by only asking me questions,” Matt argued.

Roland smiled. Asshole. “Can’t I, though?” “He’s going to have a coronary in front of you,” Henry chided, hooking his foot around the only chair, “and it will be your fault.” “Ah, well we’re in the right spot for it. And that wasn’t a question, Matt. Means I’m winning.” “This isn’t a competition,” Matt objected. “Are you serious about this?” And for half a second Roland almost looked like he regretted it. What could have been. What hadn’t happened. What had happened. Losing in five in the Eastern Conference Finals. But then it was gone. Replaced with something far closer to resolve and an understanding Matt couldn’t begin to wrap his mind around.

“The first time sucked,” he said. “Getting back and trying to get my speed again and—” “—You are not a fast skater,” Matt interrupted. “Yeah, well you’re some freak of genetic nature. So we can’t all be like you, can we?” “‘Nother question.” “Conversational marvel, you are.” Matt huffed, blinking quickly and biting down on his lip until he tasted blood to keep himself from unraveling over something that didn’t belong to him. “It’s ok,” Roland said, “all of it is, really. It’s—this is the end, kid. And I’m not as freaked out as I thought I’d be, honestly.” “No?” “No. My knees are fucked. Even if I came back, it’d take months. I wouldn’t be ready for the start of next season and I don’t want to be that guy, Mattie. Showing up in fucking January, like some replacement. Clinging to something that’s passed me by already. Taking a spot from some other kid. Playing fourth line.” “But that’s not—” “—I’m not playing fourth line minutes, Mattie.” Twice. He’d said it twice, that nickname and all the meaning that came with it and Matt didn’t think. Again. Thrusting his hand forward he held onto Roland’s with enough force that someone’s knuckles cracked, but he could not begin to guess whose and that was probably some sort of metaphor.

For the way they grew up and how much the game had twisted its way into both of their lives and—“Gotta be the star, huh?” Roland’s laugh echoed around them. Nothing about it was watery or disappointed, but rather certain and confident and Matt’s dad had always been his favorite player, but he’d been a kid when Killian Jones was captain of the New York Rangers and there was something different about now. About watching Roland come into his own in Philadelphia, a spotlight that was his on his own, not because of the name on his back, but because of how good his wrister was and how much those kids did look up to him. Matt included.

“Face of the franchise, Mattie Jones. So, uh,” Roland continued, “this is it, kid. Not quite perfect. But you know I hate those farewell tours anyway.” “Could have gotten some good gifts,” Henry pointed out. “Bringing home some garbage merch from a bunch of Eastern teams that hated me every other day of the year really would have driven Lizzie insane. Plus, think about all the networks that’ll be clamoring for my face on their pre-game shows. Retirement’s got it’s perks.” There it was, kind of.

One word and one decision and Matt was briefly worried about the blood flow to Roland’s hand, but he figured one of the machines would alert them to any problem before it happened and— “I’m going to retire,” Roland said, like he knew Matt needed to hear it. “Announcement coming in the next couple of days, probably. I’m almost looking forward to the tearful goodbye videos.” “God, you’re an ass,” Matt grumbled. “One who’s going to rake in that TV money.”

Smiling continued to feel more than a little unnatural, but it was some sort of innate reaction in that moment and Matt didn’t have to say anything. Roland didn’t expect it either, which felt like a bit of a twisted reward, but then he was walking and moving and Henry was still in the room.

No one was in the hallway.

Made it easier, that way.

To quickly and completely go to pieces.

Sliding down the wall, Matt’s legs tangled in front of him, tears on his cheeks and oxygen staging some sort of revolt in his body and he wished his girlfriend was there and he wished his dad was there and Peggy still had his phone and— “Hey, hey, hey, at least get your hands out of your hair.” The words didn’t connect immediately, another noticeable knuckle crack as Matt’s fingers dug into the strands he’d started gripping at some point. Uncle Liam groaned when he crouched, stymying the threat to Matt’s scalp as he ducked into his eye line.

“If you tell me it’s going to be ok, you don’t have to. I—” Matt’s inconsistent breathing was even more annoying than his sentence structure. “I know it’ll be fine. Rol’s choice and for the best and...God, fuck, shit, damnit.” “Last one wasn’t very impressive.” “I ran out.” “Ah, don’t lie to me, kid. I know we taught you way more creative words.” “Mostly use that on the ice.” Uncle Liam hummed knowingly, finally letting go of Matt’s hands when it seemed he trusted him not to start yanking on his own hair again. “It absolutely isn’t fine. None of it. It’s bullshit and unfair and knees are worthless joints anyway.” Matt blinked.

His neck ached with the force of his head jerk, gaping and staring and Uncle Liam’s smile shifted slightly. Into something almost like understanding. He knew.

He knew.

“Game like this, it...it sinks into you, doesn’t it? Has to, that’s the only way you can get through it. Because it’s not like other ones. No grass, no court, no sunshine. Fuck, any sunshine just makes it even harder to see on the ice. And that makes it worse and even better. Because for every time you’ve managed to sweat through your pads while shivering at a shitty rink, there are game winners and brekaways and hitting some bastard who thought he was better at faceoffs than you.” “They measure things like faceoffs now, y’know?” “I’m giving you a motivational speech.” Matt nodded.

“Point is, a sport like this, it...for as much as it gives, it takes a little bit too. Because you’ve got to give yourself to it. Understand that the bumps and the bruises and the incessant cracking of your joints is payment in kind.” “For?” “For the way it felt. The way it’ll always feel, even when it doesn’t end the way you planned.” Letting out a shuddering breath, Matt barely felt his head when it dropped against the wall. “He never won. That’s—of all the things, that’s the worst.” “Sure he did. You don’t think so?” “Unless I forgot about a parade.”

“That’s not how this stuff works, kid,” Liam sighed. “All those runs when you were growing up, even before you were born, those were Rol’s as much as they were Locksley’s. As much as they were your dad’s. And anything you do, that’s his too. Not just because you stole his wrister. Which is kind theft four-times removed, actually.” “How you figure?” “Well, Rol stole it from your dad who ripped it off me, so. You’re welcome.” He might need oxygen sooner rather than later. And a tissue. More than one tissue. “The point I’m getting at,” Uncle Liam said, “is that there’s no perfect way for this to go. Happily ever after isn’t guaranteed, but it doesn’t wipe out everything else that happened. Doesn’t change how good this game is or how good it will keep being. You play with a team, right?” “Sounds like a cliche.” “You grow up in that house, some things become entrenched.” “Yeah, I get that.” “I know you do. Your sister was talking to your parents before, I’m sure they’re waiting for you to get back out there.” It wasn’t the dismissal it sounded like, especially when it came with a hand clasped on his shoulder — but Matt nodded all the same, muttering a quiet thanks and Uncle Liam had been right. Mom had totally been crying too.

And it wasn’t perfect. Wasn’t the ending that Roland deserved, but eventually Matt started to wonder if it was actually the end and as the years went on he started to know it wasn’t. Not with weddings and kids and a whole subsection of the internet that was decidedly preoccupied with the cut of Roland’s suits on postgame television spots.

They kept going. Games and hits and a few more injuries, and, eventually, when the Stanley Cup came back to New York and back to that brownstone downtown, Matt didn’t hesitate. He handed it to Roland.

And took a picture.

With both of their kid sitting in the goddamn thing.

#blue line one shots #HELLO THIS IS VERY ANGSTY AND ALMOST MADE ME CRY WHILE I WAS WRITING IT #operation: write all the things about roland locksley has been going really well the last few weeks #anyway sports emotions are the only emotions that matter

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horansqueen · 5 years ago

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You & Me : chapter 29

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.8k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: id love your feedbacks now that theyre happy together and id love to know what you think will happen of what you want to happen so if you read these notes please tell me!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : 4 requests! :) thank you so much!

Chapter 29 : His chapter

NIALL

I kept glancing at her as I drove and I couldn't take that stupid smile off of my lips. Her hair was dancing around her head, sometimes tickling my arm, cheek and neck, and it didn't bother me at all. In fact, I enjoyed it. She put her hand out of the window as it moved in waves because of the wind and the speed of the car on the high way and I loved watching her. She was wearing her stupid heart shaped sunglasses but they were new because these had purple tinted glasses, unlike the pink ones she used to have, and the smell of honey and vanilla reached my nose from time to time. I loved it. I loved her. She looked stunning in the golden hour and despite everything we had been through, at that exact moment, I was so fucking happy I could start flying.

She reached for the volume when one of my songs came on and I laughed as she started singing loud. The smile she was wearing told me I was not the only happy person in this car and I started singing with her, tapping on the wheel as she moved her upper body with the music. When the song was over I felt her reach for my thigh and she squeezed it a bit before turning the volume down again and leaning back against the seat. I could feel her gaze on my side and I was wondering what was burning my skin more : her eyes, or the setting sun hitting on my other cheek?

"Was this song written for a specific one night stand or was it just general?"

"Slow Hands?" I asked, raising my eyebrows before chuckling. "Who says I didn't write it about you?"

"Pretty sure you wrote it when we were not together anymore." she said with a frown.

"No!" I quickly replied after trying to imitate the sound of a 'wrong answer' buzzer from a tv quiz. "I started it when we were together. I just didn't really plan to add it to the album but I ended up thinking that album needed a bit more grit, i wanted something a bit more.. daring?"

She raised her eyebrows as I exited the high way and replaced her hair quickly without much success. It was adorable and I loved it a lot but I didn't mention it.

"That's daring alright. Are you talking about your fingertips or mine?" she asked with a chuckle, making me laugh.

"You decide!"

She chuckled again and I could swear she also rolled her eyes but it was hard to see because of her sunglasses. I parked a bit farther on the road and her eyes left me to look by her window. She shook her head before looking back at me and smiling.

"What?"

"I don't know, I'm always amazed at the number of beaches we can drive by here." she shrugged. "I'm just not used to it."

"You like it?"

She licked her lips and shrugged a bit, glancing down and then looking up at me. "I guess, yea. But I miss London. All the time."

I moved my own glasses up on my head and she took hers off, tilting her head and sending me a soft smile. It was a stupid thought, but at that moment, I felt the need to say it.

"You can always find your home in me." I let out, reaching for her hands and squeezing them. "You're mine, too. You're my home."

Her traits softened and she slowly moved closer, holding herself with both hands on one of my thighs before her lips reached mine. She kissed me softly and I didn't try to deepen the kiss, I just enjoyed the way he lips pressed gently but firmly against mine.

"You're my home too." she whispered, letting her eyes fall down to my laps after moving slightly away. "Unzip your pants."

"Excuse me what?" I asked with a nervous chuckle.

"Unzip your pants." she repeated without skipping a beat.

"I parked here for a walk on the beach, not for.. whatever you had planned." I explained, raising my eyebrows.

"You're not gonna say no to a blowjob twice in a row will you?" she asked, losing her smile but I could still see how amused she was in her eyes. "I'm gonna start doubting my skills."

The left corner of my lips raised and I unzipped my pants, my eyes never leaving hers. Of course I was not going to say no but damn I just hoped we wouldn't get caught. Her lips curled into a big smile before she quickly bend down. It took her half a second to have her lips around my cock and my hand gripped the wheel tight as the leather made an annoying noise. I could feel myself grow hard fast and I whimpered low. She took my dick completely in her mouth and I let out a low 'Jesus Christ' when I felt her fingers play with my balls. I looked around to see if anyone was getting closer and finally blinked a few times, looking down at her head moving up and down on me. I pushed her hair out of the way to see her better and pressed my lips together, feeling one of my legs shake. She normally goes slow and makes sure I can feel her lips on my tip, under my foreskin and down to my balls but this time, she just went fast and hard, letting the tip of my cock hit the back of her throat every time she could. I gripped her hair and licked my lips before they parted.

"Don't move, I'm gonna cum."

Quickly, I moved my hips up and down, thrusting my cock in and out of her mouth fast and hard until my eyes closed and my grip tightened.

"Holy f-, swallow it." I whispered without thinking, only half a second before I felt myself cum hard in her mouth.

I pushed her more on my cock as I felt an intense orgasm hit me like a wave and when I let go of her head, she took my dick out of her mouth but let her tongue run on the length before moving down to my balls and sucking on one. I felt my cock twitch and let out a groan as I heard her chuckle.

I quickly put my cock back in my pants when she moved her head up and the smirk she was sending me made my heart skip a beat.

"You came so fast!" she laughed, making me grimace.

"Shut up! You went so hard on my cock how was I supposed not to cum?"

I could have delayed my orgasm but I didn't see the point, especially since we were in a public place, but I didn't mention it. Of course, it made me nervous to get caught, but at the same time, the thrill was amazing.

"Do you still want to go on the beach?" I suggested, trying to talk about something else, before she nodded.

We both got out of the car and I grabbed my cap, putting it on my head and reaching my hand out for hers. She looked at it for a few seconds and stopped walking before looking up in my eyes. Something stirred in my stomach when she shook her head slightly and my arm fell back on my side. Ouch.

"You just sucked my cock in the car but you don't want to hold my hand?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. "No one will recognize us, no one cares!"

I didn't want to be rude but I couldn't pretend her behavior didn't hurt me a bit. I was normally the one who didn't want affection display in public whenever I was in a relationship but I never understood how the girls I dated could feel when I said that. Now, I had a good idea.

"I thought we... agreed that we would just.." she stopped herself and shook her head with a sigh. "I'm sorry Niall, i'm not ready for that, and you don't want that either. You hate PDA remember?"

My traits softened and I sighed, nodding slowly.

"I'm sorry, you're right, and I shouldn't have been so rude."

She licked her lips and after a few seconds, she followed me and we walked side by side on the beach with a small breeze against us. I kept glancing at her and after a while, I felt her fingers brush against mine.

"I love you, you know?" she said in a low tone, making me turn my head her way completely.

"I know, I love you too, I'm sorry, Olivia."

"I'm just.. I'm scared, Niall. Last time ended so badly, and now we're so happy. I don't want things to get bad after we make it official. I don't want what we have to vanish or even falter. I want this to last, and right now, it works, so, why risk it?"

I understood what she meant even if technically, it didn't really make sense, but I was pretty sure she knew that. I sat quickly in the sand, my knees up and holding myself with my elbows slightly behind myself, half laying down. She smiled and sat next to me in the same position, except she spread her legs out and crossed her ankles together. She was wearing soft black pants and her ridiculously dirty rainbow converse and I liked it without even knowing why.

"Okay, would you rather be always 10 minutes late or 20 minutes early?"

I raised my eyebrows and smiled slightly when I recognized the game. We used to always play that game when we were younger but as the years went by, the questions changed, and the answers too.

"20 minutes early, of course!" I frowned with a chuckle. "That was easy. Okay my turn. Would you rather have whatever you are thinking to appear above your head for everyone to see orrrrrr have absolutely everything you do live streamed for anyone to see?"

"That's an absolute shitty question." she complained. "Anything I think about appear above my head. That would imply a lot of people seeing your cock, though."

I let out a loud laughter and turned to her. "Are you thinking about my cock right now?"

"Of course!" she replied quickly. "Can't you see it above my head?"

We laughed together and she licked her lips.

"Mm, would you rather have edible spaghetti hair that regrows every night orrrr, sweat maple syrup."

I grimaced and shook my head. "This is horrible. Sweat maple syrup I guess."

"I guess I'd lick your armpits all the time, then." she shrugged, bringing a smirk to my lips.

"Oh I know you'd do it even now." I pointed out. I could swear I saw her cheeks turn a soft shade or red and chuckled. "You love my armpits. One time you literally put your face there and kissed it."

"That was an accident." she blatantly lied. " I was trying to kiss your... your shoulder."

"Liar. I was smelly too, I was just back from the gym." I added, knowing I was embarrassing her even more.

"Okay, Niall, your turn now!"

I laughed as I stared at her and finally pressed my lips together, trying to find a good question.

"Would you rather... have 10 orgasms every time you have sex but they're not that good, or just one every week but a fucking strong one."

"That's a horrible question and I'm sorry but I'm gonna go for the fucking strong one." she shrugged with a grimace. "I would be so annoying all week though, you wouldn't be able to live with me. I'd hump you all the time."

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "How often do you masturbate?"

Her eyes roamed on my face and she pressed her lips together, trying not to smile too much.

"Normally maybe, twice a day?" she just replied with a shrug. "These days, though, I don't. You're the only one who makes me cum."

I turned to her and sent her a big happy smile that she sent back.

"I would kiss you right now." I pointed out, making her smile too.

"I would kiss you back."

We stared at each other for a while and she finally looked away, turning her head to the water for a few minutes as the sun was disappearing into the horizon. I knew we should get up and leave to find a place to sleep but I didn't want to.

"Would you rather marry a 10 with a boring personality, or a 6 with an amazing personality." she let out, turning her head to send me a smile again. "Choose wisely."

"You're not asking this about yourself, right? Because you're not a 6."

"You're right, i'm a 4, at best. No wait, Heidi said a 3, right?"

"You're still thinking about that?" I asked in a lower and soft tone before she shrugged and turned again to the water. "You really shouldn't. She was just jealous."

"Heidi isn't jealous of anyone. What she says, she means." Liv pointed out. "You know, just because I know you're out of my league doesn't mean I'm not confident, or that I hate myself. I know society's beauty standards and I don't fit in. I never will. You do though." she pointed out, turning to me. "You've always been the pretty boy, the one everyone liked and wanted to be around. I was never jealous I was fucking mesmerized. Because you were my best friend and no one else's. You had picked me."

"I'm still picking you. I'm choosing you every single day, Olivia." I pointed out, sitting up and crossing my legs, looking down at my hands. "And you have no idea how many girls I flirted with that turned me down." I chuckled. "Before I was famous and even now. You could be surprised."

"That's because you seem to always fall for stupid fucking bitches. You always choose them for what they physically look like. You never try to see deeper because for you, everyone is good. But it's not true. Not everyone is good, Niall. Some people will just use you and throw you away when they're done. Some people will pick you because you're rich and famous, and some other won't pick you because you're not glamorous enough. Why do you think Heidi wanted to date you so bad but was totally okay to let you sleep with one of her best friends?"

I looked up and frowned. "Wait, what do you mean?"

"Gia Christenson? That's literally the only friend Heidi has left, yet she sent her to flirt with you at that bar when we were dating? She gave her your number so she could send you nudes when we were camping? And you literally ended up sleeping with her a few weeks before you started dating Heidi?"

My lips parted slightly but I shook my head. No, Heidi hadn't done all that just so I would break up with Olivia, that was impossible. I didn't want to believe that someone could ever do that. To anyone. I was not such a bad judge of character.

"No I mean, it's a coincidence."

"It's not. And I'm not blaming her for our break up. She didn't force you do to anything, she didn't point a gun to your head either. But when you started dating her I couldn't help but think that she had gotten exactly what she wanted and I had lost."

"And now?"

"Now?" she asked, raising her eyebrows as she turned to look in my eyes with a sad smile. "Now I'm just not playing anymore."

We kept quiet again, just listening to the waves and feeling the slightly cooler breeze hit our cheeks. It felt amazing to be here, alone, with her, but her words kept resonating in my head. Was I that oblivious?

"I don't want to marry a 6 or a 10, no matter what their personalities are." I finally just replied with a shrug. "I want to marry you. No number. Just you."

The way she smiled at me and tilted her head, I knew she liked my answer, but I kept quiet and after a while, she got up and I followed her back to the car. The sun was gone and the sky was dark but I drove to the first motel I saw and grabbed our bags before putting my sunglasses back on.

"I'll give my name." she just said as we reached the counter.

I smiled a bit and nodded before she asked for a room, gave her name and paid for it. I stayed behind her slightly and finally followed her to our room as she opened it and let me in. I dropped everything near the bed and when I turned around she was locking the door behind us.

"How much do I owe you?" I asked, putting my hands on my waist.

"Nothing, I got my check." she giggled, making me raise my eyebrows. "The number on it was astronomical, I almost came just looking at my bank account."

"Okay but this is literally a suite." I pointed out, making her roll her eyes.

"A suite in a motel I mean who cares?" she rolled her eyes, sitting on the bed.

I walked to her and bent down to kiss her lips as her hands found my cheeks. I had wanted to kiss her for hours and feeling her lips on mine after that long felt incredible.

"You want to add more fluids to these dirty bed sheets?" she asked with a smirk, making me grimace before she started laughing hard. "I'm just kidding! I'm sure these are extremely clean."

"Yea not so sure anymore."

She got up and tilted her chin up to look at me. Instinctively, my arms wrapped around her waist and I pulled her closer to kiss her gently.

"Maybe we could sleep on the floor?" I proposed in a low tone, half-joking.

"The floor is probably even worse." she mentioned just as low before chuckling. "Come on, I'll fill the bath for us. I saw it on the brochure and it looks incredible."

"For a motel room suite, maybe." I complained as she moved away.

I heard her laugh again and opened one of my bags to get some comfortable clothes for both of us, leaving the sweatpants and shirts on top of my luggage. I finally grabbed my phone and looked at all the notifications popping up with a grimace. I deleted all of them and went to check my contacts. I clicked on Heidi's name and picked the 'delete' option before doing the same with Gia and a few other girls. I was not really sure who they were, probably because they were insignificant to me, and threw my phone on the bed just as she was calling me. When I stepped foot in the bathroom, the bath was filled and the lights were dimmed, which surprised me a bit, considering what kind of motel we were in.

I looked at her sitting in the bath, definitely naked but all I could see was her breasts out of the water and slightly covered with foam. I could still see her nipples and I groaned.

"Can't believe you didn't wait for me to get undressed."

She shrugged and smiled. "Your turn. Take your clothes off."

Quickly, I took my shirt off and laughed when I noticed the way she was looking at me. She didn't say a word and I took my pants, boxers and socks off before joining her. The bath was large enough and I sat in front of her, grabbing one of her feet and massaging it gently, my thumbs pressing against her sole.

"Mm, don't stop." she whispered making me laugh as she closed her eyes and leaned her head against the side of the bath. "I didn't expect that but this is amazing. Oh, and there's a beer behind you. Thought you'd enjoy."

I grabbed the bottle with one hand and she immediately started shaking her foot to get my attention back.

"You’re so needy."

"Shut up and keep going." she just replied, making me roll my eyes, a small smile still on my lips.

We remained in silence for a while, just enjoying the warm water and the presence of each other, but after a while, my mind went from blank to filled with questions and I breathed in.

"What are we, Olivia?"

She moved her head up and her eyes opened, meeting mine. She seemed a bit taken aback by my question but she shook her head a bit before tilting it.

"We're... two best friends who... love each other, and fuck more than occasionally." she proposed slowly, raising her shoulders up. "I guess."

"What if I want you to be my girlfriend, Olivia? What do I have to do for that?"

She breathed in and out slowly, still looking at me, and took her foot back. I thought she was mad but she moved in the water and got closer, placing her knees on each sides of me and sitting on my thighs. She looked down at my chest, bringing warm water on my shoulders and sighing before looking back up in my eyes.

"I love you, Niall. I'm in love with you. I want to date or fuck no one but you." she confessed in a very low tone. "But I'm not ready. And I don't know when I'll be. Or if I'll ever be."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and frowned a bit. "So we may never get back together?"

Her face changed and she licked her lips. "Shit happens, so we never know? I want to, and I'm trying. But I can't promise anything. It's too stressful for me. Can we just.. live today? You're going on tour, I'm about to film again and... we'll both be extra busy. We can have that discussion again after your tour?"

"My tour literally ends in september, Liv." I pointed out. "That's in over 7 months. What will happen if we don't see each other for weeks?"

Her eyes roamed on my face and she licked her lips again, as if she was trying to find the courage to talk again. "I'll do everything I can to come see you every time I have a few days off. You can come back here whenever you have a break, too. We can talk every day, text each other, facetime each other. It's not our first time apart, and... I know it'll probably be the hardest but if we want to make this work, we will, right?"

I stared at her, unsure if it was really possible but I swallowed. I wanted it so bad, whether we were official or not, and I was going to do everything I could to make this, whatever it was, work.

"I'm not gonna date, fuck or even see anyone else." she added. "Just you. I sort of expect the same from you although I can't force you but... if you decide you don't want to be exclusive I want to know who you... who else you're gonna have sex with, please? I'm honestly just scared of what an official relationship will do to us. The girlfriend and boyfriend title is just.. too big for me. For now." she paused. "Okay?"

"Okay." I whispered, nodding but feeling like shit.

She slipped her fingers in my hair and pressed her lips gently against mine.

"I love you." she murmured before kissing my cheekbone. "I love you." she repeated, kissing my jaw. "So fucking much." Her lips brushed against my neck. "More than anything." She went back to my lips. "I'm in love with you." I closed my eyes as she peppered kisses slowly and gently on my face and neck until my shoulders fell and I relaxed.

I felt her bring water over my shoulders again and she let her hands run on my chest, moving up on her knees. I kept my eyes closed until I heard a whimper escaping her lips and when I opened my eyes again, she was biting her bottom lip. I wanted to tell her that the song I had written was about marriage and that all I could think about since we went to that stupid wedding was how bad I wanted her to be my wife. It was ridiculous, knowing that I was not 100% in the relationship when we dated and that I was now in this 150% and we weren't even dating. I couldn't tell her that, though. Not after she had just told me she didn't want pressure and stress. Not after she had told me that she needed time and that she was not ready. But the words got stuck in my throat and I swallowed them hard.

"You okay?"

"Mmhm." I just replied, bringing one of my hands between her legs as I stared in her eyes.

She stiffened and finally bit her bottom lip as I slipped two fingers inside her, moving them in a fair rhythm and make her hips jerk slightly. I knew we were having a serious conversation but I was on the verge of spilling all my thoughts and feelings to her and I had no idea how to stop myself from doing that except by making her cum. I brought my thumb to her clit and stared at her seriously as her lips parted.

"Niall, I think we should wait until we get out of t-the bath." she let out in a mix of whimper and whisper. "I bought something special, just for you."

"Tomorrow. Today I'm just gonna watch you fuck yourself on my fingers." I argued as I kept brushing her clit with my thumb. Then I'm gonna finish my beer, I'll kiss you, wrap a towel around you and bring you in bed, and we'll talk in the dark the way we used to always do."

She reached for my wrist and stopped me for a few seconds. "Are you gonna sing something to me?"

I breathed in and nodded. "Any song you want. As many times as you want."

It took her a few seconds to nod and I reached for her hand, moving it away from my wrist as I started rubbing her clit again. "Come on, pet, do it now."

She started moving slowly up and down on my fingers and after a few minutes, I could feel her throb around me. The sight was amazing but I couldn't help myself and wrapped my free arm around her to bring her breasts close to my face. I ran my tongue on one of her nipples before sucking on it as she let out a louder moan. She started shaking and I felt her pussy clench around my fingers. I looked down at my fingers disappearing inside her and groaned low.

"Fuck I love your pretty little fanny. So fucking wet all the fucking time."

She started shaking and watching her body quiver from an orgasm was the most incredibly hot thing I have ever seen in my life. She came down from her high and I took my fingers out before she sat back on me and her mouth found mine again.

"You didn't tell me." she whispered, kissing me hard again. "Are you gonna see other girls while we're away? You're going to meet a few on tour..."

I grabbed her waist and pulled her away to look into her eyes and I could read in hers that she felt bad for asking me, almost scared of my answer. I wished she knew how I felt. I wished she knew I wouldn't do anything that could risk hurting her again, and I knew that just telling her wouldn't mean she'd believe me.

"You're all I think about. You're all I care about. Nothing feels good without you. I told you. That year without you was the most miserable of my entire life, Olivia. I have no desire to be with anyone else. So no, I'm not gonna see anyone. I'm not gonna kiss anyone. I'm not gonna fuck anyone. I'm not even going to flirt with anyone because I just don't give a fuck about anyone else."

"This is gonna work." she whispered, trying to convince both of us. "This distance thing I mean. We'll do it right."

"We will." I confirmed with a smile. "And every single night, I'm gonna sing about you."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan writing #niall horan story #my fanfics #yam

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sonofadeanwinchester · 6 years ago

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Now and Again

Summary: After joining the Avengers, you start dating the one and only Bucky Barnes but when you get a call from some old friends, you drop everything to help, including Bucky. (Or so he thinks)

Words: 4183 (kinda got carried away)

Bucky Barnes x Reader; Dean Winchester x Reader; Sam Winchester x Reader

Warnings: Swearing; angsty? ;

A/N: This was requested by an anon, so here you are! Also, I’m really sorry if I didn’t tag you. My list of who is on my tag list got deleted so I’m just going based on my last post. Pls, let me know if you were/are/or wanna be tagged.

Tags: @221bshrlocked @marvelouslyme96@shellymaesworld@titty-teetee @pawallday @chameerah@buckylicious@nerdywitch @teresaoliva20 @guera31 @i-should-probably-be-asleep-rn @ssweet-empowerment@jhangelface0523@sarahp879 @parkerrpeterr @bxxbxy @mrs-meghan-winchester @yknott81 @thejemersoninferno@yeahbutmarvel@kaleidoscopez96

“I’d like to welcome the newest member of the team, (y/n).” I stand there, my hands shoved deep inside of my pockets, switching my weight from foot to foot. “Now”, Cap says, “I know we’ve taken a hit the past couple of times with some of us gone or taking a break, but she’s gonna help a lot. She was personally trained by Natasha for almost 5 years now.”

A snort in the back of the room catches my attention. Who the fuck is laughing? I stand on my tippy toes to see a tall man, with shoulder length black hair and stunning blue eyes, smirking at me and Cap. I could only see from his chest up but he was very large, very thick. He smiled and winked. “Sorry darling, but how do you think being trained by Nat is gonna help this team at all? She was trained since childhood to be a deadly assassin. You’ve only had her for five years.”

I click my tongue, look at Steve and he nods. “Why don’t I show you how five years has paid off?”I take my hands out of my pocket, tie back my hair and walk slowly towards the man. He stands there, arms crossed over his large chest and shakes his head. “Aw. You’re scared to hurt a girl?” He furrows his brow and I hit him suddenly in the chest with my fist, grabbing his arm and twisting it behind his back, almost landing him on his knees. “I wouldn’t feel too bad about it.”He snorts. Glancing from my face to my feet, he slid a foot behind my kneecap breaking my footing, making me fall to the ground. I lay on my chest, panting and thinking of my next move.

He brings his face down to speak, “I don’t feel bad, darling.”

“Good.” I elbow him in the face, causing him to fall backward. I run over to where he stands, holding his nose, jumping into the air and wrapped my legs around his neck, bringing him to the floor with me. I sit on his neck, his hands pinned behind my back. His face turning a little red, I cock a brow. I feel him pat my ass in surrender. I stand up, allowing him to gasp for air. I reach my hand down, pulling him to his feet. “(Y/N)”

He nods, “Steve’s told me all about you.” He smirks. “I’m Bucky.”

4 YEARS LATER

“Baby where are you going?” Bucky’s sleepy voice startles me as I grab my bag, looking over my shoulder as he sits up. His long hair every which way and his shirtless chest showing proudly his new arm from T’Challa. He sighs, rubbing his stubbled chin. “Hm?”

I walk over to him, sitting beside his blanket covered body. “I’m going to meet my friends. We discussed this yesterday.”

He glanced at the clock. “But it’s not even 5 AM yet.”

I nod. “I know love but they’re early risers.”

He sighs, wrapping his arms around me laying backward, forcing my body on top of his. “How long will you be gone?” I shrug. “You don’t know?” I shake my head, kissing the tip of his nose. “A week?” No reply from me. “Two weeks?” Still nothing. “A month?”

I place my forehead against his chin. “I don’t know baby. They like to travel and I haven’t seen them since I started this gig.” He rolled his eyes. “Listen to me, I’m gonna be fine. I’ve known them since I was a kid. They’re really good guys.”

Bucky froze, his breathing hitched in his throat. “Guys?” I nod.” You never mentioned you were running away with two or more men.”

I laugh. “I didn’t think it was necessary and it’s only two guys.”

He scoffs. “I think it’s pretty necessary that you tell me the gender.”

“Why? You think I’m going to abandon my boyfriend of four years and run away with some guy from my past?”

He shakes his head. “That’s almost the plot of every romantic comedy I’ve seen.”

I kiss his lips quickly. “Babe, trust me.” He nods and kisses me again. “I’ll call you when I get there.”

He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I love you (y/n).”

“I love you too Buck.”

Sitting inside of a small local diner a few hours away from the Avengers complex, I sip my coffee and read the local newspaper. A man disappeared without a trace in his locked apartment, no sign of a break in or forced entry. Everything was left where it was, according to his close friends. Nothing was taken only the man. A loud roar of an engine startles me, distracting me from reading. I look up just as two tall men walk into the diner, glancing around until they spotted me. The guys walked briskly over to where I was sitting, pulling into two huge bear hugs. “It’s way too long (y/n).” The taller one, Sam, says as he hugs me tightly. “When was the last time I saw you? Like 5 years ago?” I nod and he hugs me again, chuckling. His brother Dean, pushes Sam out of the way, engulfing me into an even bigger bear hug.

Both boys are much much taller than me so their arms wrap around my waist, touching their arms. “Damn girl, it’s been too long. I missed my little short stack.” I punched him playfully. “What? You don’t like that name now?”

“Oh Deano, I never liked that name.” I wink, returning to my chair and flagging the waitress down. She comes over, pouring me more coffee but ends up spilling it on the table as she stares at the men across from me. “You can stop pouring now.”She shoots me a look like she was going to say something sassy but sees the dark brown liquid on the table. “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

I wink. “They’re just men, you know. You don’t have to gawk and stare, you could always say hi.” Her face turns a deep shade of scarlet as she nods, cleaning the mess up quickly and turning away.

“Wow, you haven’t changed a bit.” Sam chuckles, glancing at the menu. “It’s been five years and you’re still just as cranky as ever.”

I flip Sam the finger and smirk. “Can’t go through this life without being a little cranky. Too many dark moments to be happy about.”

Dean’s eyes glaze over as he stares at me. “You’ve been hunting?” He points at the paper. I shake my head. “Not really, just been reading. Might’ve found a case though.”

Sam grabs the paper from under my arms. “Huh. This guy goes missing in a locked apartment, no sign of forced entry or a break in. His friends and neighbors say nothing was taken or moved.” He squinted his eyes, bringing the paper closer to his eyes. “There is a symbol on his wall.”

Dean takes the paper, squinting the same as he brings it close to his eyes. “Well, what do ya know Short Stack, you found a case.”

“So how’s everyone doing?” I ask Bucky as I lay on a dingy old bed in some shitty motel the guys found. We got conjoined rooms despite how much I said I didn’t mind sharing a room with them, Sam thought it would be more appropriate this way.

Bucky sighed, I could hear him shuffling around in the background. “Fine.” He cut his answer short, almost as if he was upset with me. “How are you doing?”

“Fine.” I knew I shouldn’t be petty with him or get under his nerves but he should know better that I would never ever cheat on him, let alone with someone who is like a brother to me. He snorted. “Well, goodnight.”

“What?” I sat straight up.

“I said goodnight.”

“Fuck you, James. You do not get to say goodnight while apparently being pissed at me.” I fought angry tears from my eyes.

“I’m not angry.”

“Horseshit.” I was standing now, pacing my room. “Tell me what’s wrong. Now.”

He sighed again and I could picture him sitting on the edge of our shared bed, running a hand through his unmanageable hair. “I just miss you is all. It’s been three weeks and you still don’t know when you’re coming home.”

I leaned against the wall. “I know. I miss you too but what I’m doing here with the guys is important, it helps people.”

“How does being shacked up with two grown ass men help people?” His voice dropped with jealousy. “I know you grew up with them but it bothers me to know that they get to see you every day that I can’t. That they can hug you or talk to you or sing with you when I can’t. I’ve seen the way other men look at you (y/n). I’m not fucking blind. You’re a prize to be won and these guys aren’t any different.”

A prize to be won? Did he really just say that to me? I scoffed, a fit angry tears starting to roll down my cheeks. “You think I’m a prize to be won? Is that what I am to you Buck, just some fucking prize that you get to flaunt around in front of everyone else?”

“No, that’s not what I mea-”

I cut him off quickly. “Don’t bother explaining. I’ll let you know when I’m coming home.” I hit the end button without saying goodbye or that I loved him.

The following day, my mood was shit to say that least. I was short and sarcastic with the boys, rude to our waitresses and just downright bitchy to everyone I came in contact with.

Leaving the diner, Dean pulled the car over, putting into park and got out. I looked at Sam and he shrugged, following suit as he got out after his brother. I opened the door and Dean slammed it. “I need Sam, just a second.”

My eyes filled with tears, first my boyfriend and now my two oldest friends. I watched the boys mouths move, Dean running a hand over his face as he glanced now and then at me then back at Sam. Sam nodded and opened the door for me. Dean sighed, “come on out.”

I stood to my feet, arms crossed along my chest, leaning against the Impala Dean called ‘Baby’. “What?”

He scoffed. “I’ve known you since we were 10 (y/n) and in all those years you only acted this way when David Bernio broke up with you in the 10th grade. So who’s the unlucky bastard?” He cocked a brow as he looked at Sam who stood with a look of pity on his face, his hands deep in his pockets.

I sighed. “You wouldn’t know him,”

Dean smirked. “No shit Sherlock. There is a lot of people in this great country.”

“His name is Bucky.”

He snorted. “Bucky? Like yucky but with a B?” I nodded. “Okay, where did you and Mr yucky with a B meet?”

I forgot that I didn’t tell anyone about me joining the Avengers or my training over the past five years. “You’re not going to believe me.” They both cocked a brow as if to say ‘try me’ and I nodded. Starting from the very beginning when Natasha found me locked up in a jail cell for assaulting a man who was trying to sexually assault a young girl in an alleyway. She took me back to her apartment and cleaned me up, explaining to me who she was and how she found me. She informed that she had been watching me for a few months now and was interested in training me. I laughed at her when she said this as if she was Mr. Miyagi to my Daniel. She let me rest that night on her couch and the following day she took me a training room. For days and weeks on end, she was defeating me. Finally, she brought up how weak I was and how I needed to be stronger to stop the bad men in the world from harming other women. This triggered something in me and from that day forward, I was one of her best students.I cleared my throat.

“So from day one of joining the Avengers, Bucky has been there for me. At first, he was just an asshole who liked to bug me but then on a few missions, we grew closer and realized our feelings weren’t of hate but actually of love. So I’ve been dating him ever since.”

Dean stood with his mouth wide open. Sam was smirking. “So-”

Dean shook his head. “You’re a fucking avenger? Like you run around with the dude in the giant American flag and the huge green guy?” I nodded. “What the fuck?”

Sam smiled, pulling me in for a hug. “Well, (y/n), I’m proud of you. Even if that means you get to run around with Captain America and the Hulk.” Dean looked at him, his face contorted. “What? I keep up with the Avengers. They deal with the things they know about, same as us. They deal with the bad guys and we deal with the bad monsters.”

“Dude, you did not just seriously compare us to the Avengers.” Sam smiled and nodded. “Fine, I get to be the dude with the freaky arrow power.”

“Clint but his code name is Hawkeye.”

“Hm?” Dean turned to me.

“His name is Clint.” I shuffled a little, my gaze dropping to the dirt road. “But his code name is Hawkeye.”

“Why?” Dean laughed.

Sam hit him. “Because he has a remarkable aim. He hardly ever misses his target.” Dean rolled his eyes and Sam laughed. “So, do we get to meet them?”

I shook my head. “Bucky thinks I’m cheating on him with one of you.” The boys glanced at each other then back to me and burst into a fit of laughter. “I know, that’s what I said to him but he has a jealous spree in him.”

Sam came closer to me and kissed the top of my head. “You got nothing to worry about kiddo.”

The hunt seemed to be taking much longer than I had thought it would. We had been talking to the locals, searching high and low through lore and even Dean had given a hand into looking into things; but to no avail. Two more people had died since we arrived in Dallas and it was starting to frustrate the hell out of us. “If only John was here” I mumbled under my breath. I looked up to catch a glance of the boys staring at me, it had only been a few years since their father was sent to hell for good. “Sorry.”

Sam shook his head, his chestnut hair brushing his shoulder. “Dad would be a great help right now, you’re right, don’t apologize.” I smiled tightly and he sighed. “So we got this thing that we know nothing about. Dad’s journal is no use nor is any of the local legends or lore. I’ve searched the web high and low and zilch.” Just then my phone started ringing, I glanced the name but pressed decline. “You’re gonna have to answer him eventually, kid.”

I shook my head. “He doesn’t trust me enough to be with my childhood friends. He doesn’t seem to trust me period. I mean, Dean is good looking but Jesus he is conceited.”

Dean made a face. “What?”

I shrugged. “Listen, just-” The phone started again.

Dean lunged across the couch and grabbed it before I could decline. “(y/n)’s phone.” He spoke in his professional tone. “Ah, you must be Bucky. I’ve heard all about you buddy.” He smirked at me as he paced the room, raising the phone just out of my reach. “Why is she ignoring you? Good question, you should ask her yourself.” He stopped pacing, nodded his head and chuckled. “Oh, that’s right. She isn’t taking your phone calls.”

“Dammit Dean, give me the phone.” I was on my tip toes now trying to reach what was just out of the way. He shook his head. “So listen, I just wanna clear the air and say that my brother and myself have zero intentions of sleeping or even hitting on your girlfriend.” He sat on the arm of the couch and slouched slightly. “That’s right, we’re just good old pals of hers.”

As he sat, I ran for the phone and grabbed it out of his hand. “Ha!” I walked to the other side of the room and took a deep breath. “What do you want Buck?”

I could hear the tremor in his voice and could picture his blue eyes filled with tears. “You’re not sleeping with them?”

I scoffed. “The fact that you even thought I was, at any point is offensive. I told you before that they are just friends from my past, from before you and the team. They needed my help with something so I decided to help.”

He sniffed. “Okay.”

Okay? That’s all you have to say is okay? I sighed. “Goodnight Bucky.”

“No, wait-” He tried to stop me but mid-sentence I pressed end.

“Well, that’s awkward. Quite the winner you got there Short Stack.” Dean chuckled.

“Whatever, let’s just finish this case so I can go back to New York.” I sighed, leaning against the large stack of books on the old worn table.

“So you haven’t seen or heard anything out of the ordinary?” Sam was questioning the lasts victims neighbor.

She shook her head, her grey hair falling out of the tight bun slightly. “I’m sorry Officer but I didn’t. She was such a nice girl; so kind and polite. She brought me baked goods and sweet tea after my James died a few years back. It’s such a shame that someone would want to hurt her.”

Sam nodded his head and thanked the lady for her time. I had gotten lost in my thoughts when she spoke of her late husband James as that was Bucky’s first name. I shook my head as the boys came back to the car where I was leaning against it. “Anything?”

Dean shook his head. “None of the neighbors’ seen or heard anything the night before or on that Catherine went missing. They all swore up and down that she was the best thing since apple pie. But man, something doesn’t feel right.” The words coming out of his mouth just seem to fade away as my thoughts drifted again. I heard a snapping in front of me. “Hello? Earth to (y/n)? What’s going on with you today?

”I cleared my throat and stood straight pulling my blouse down. “Nothing.”

“Mhmm.” He used a tone that made it clear that he didn’t believe me. “I don’t want to alarm anyone but there is a striking man staring at us from across the street. He’s been there for 30 minutes now.”

I turned my head slightly and looked at the fruit stand across the street. Long and behold there stood Bucky, his hand holding a back of what looked like plums and a sad look on his face. “Bucky,” I whispered.

“That gorgeous looking man is Bucky? The guy who-”

“Shut up Dean.” Sam elbowed him. “(y/n) you okay?”

I nodded. “Uh, yeah. Just give me a second, okay?” The boys nodded and I left them to cross the street. “What are you doing here?” I asked Bucky as I approached where he was standing. My tone came out a little harsher than I wanted but I was annoyed that he would be here to check up on me or whatever he was doing. “Surely you’re not just here for the plums.”

He half smiled, his gaze drifting to the road. “You got me.”

“What are you doing here Bucky.” Not a question but a statement. I wanted to know why he thought it was okay to just follow me here. “Better yet, how did you find me?”

He chewed his lip. “We work for the Avengers, we have intel on everyone and where they are.” I shook my head in disbelief that he would use those on me. “I’m not here to fight or yell at you or even to check on you. I’m here to tell you that I believe you.”

“Believe me? You should have never doubted me, Buck. We’ve been together for 4 years, you should’ve known that I would never risk this relationship for anything.” He nodded. “That’s the only reason for the visit?”

Again, he chewed his bottom lip. “I wanted to meet them, the childhood friends of yours. I don’t know what you’re doing to help them but-”

“You don’t wanna know.”

His brow furrowed. “What does that mean?” I shrugged shoving my hands into my suit pant pockets. “And why do you look like a fancy ass lawyer?”

I chuckled. “It’s that you don’t wanna know, it’s more like you won’t believe me if I tell you.”

He laughed. “Babe, I’m 101 years old but I only look to be in my 30s. Nothing would surprise me at this point.”

“Wanna bet?” I smirked. “I’ll bet you $10 that I surprise you with this.”

He reached out a hand, “Deal.”

“So you’re the infamous Bucky?” Dean asked as he sat across from him in a diner later that day. “I’ve heard some stuff about you buddy.”

“Oh? What’s that?” Bucky asked as he took a sip of his coffee.

Dean shrugged. “Well, for one, you don’t trust Short Stack here, which is a mistake might I add. She’s the most faithful and loyal person I have ever met, and that’s saying a lot in my line of work.”

“Short Stack?” He looked at me confused.

I sighed, my cheeks turning slightly pink. “I’ve known Dean and Sam since I was 10 and they’ve always been a head taller than me. So Dean thought it would be funny to remind me every time he speaks about our height difference, hence, Short Stack was born.”

Bucky smiled. “You are little.” I punched him playfully. “Now, can someone explain to me what this line of work is and why all of you are wearing cheap suits?”

Over the next two hours, we sat in that little diner, sipping coffee and telling Bucky about all the things that go bump in the night. As Dean spoke about the very beginning of how his mother had passed away, to Sam’s girlfriend being killed by the same thing, all the way up to today where we were hunting something we couldn’t quite put our fingers on. He took a deep sigh, reached into his back pocket and pulled out a $10 bill. I chuckled. “I told you.” The boys raised a brow. “I bet Bucky earlier that this shit would surprise him, he didn’t think so.”

Sam nodded, sipping his coffee once more. “Yeah, this line of work is weird and it’s hard but it’s what we know and we’re good at it. And (y/n)’s been doing it with us up until she disappeared five years ago and apparently joined the Mighty Avengers.”

I laughed. “We’re not that mighty, just a group of people with extraordinary gifts that we use for the greater good.”

Dean scoffed. “What’s your special gift then?” He looked at Bucky.

Bucky sighed, shoving his sleeve up to reveal his metal arm. Dean almost spit out his drink. “I got some weird stories of my own.”

So twenty minutes later, after Bucky explained everything from joining the army to Steve becoming Captain America and finding him in Zola’s experiment room. All the way to how he was put into cryo-freeze after fighting Tony and the others so that he wouldn’t harm anyone else and waking up in Wakanda. “So here I am with a metal arm and some weird super juice running through my veins.”

Dean looked at the two of us skeptical but inquisitive. “So.” He licked his lips. “You’re dating a 101-year-old man?”

I shrugged, nodding. “I guess so but he has the body of a mid-thirty-year-old man so it’s fine.”

He cleared his throat. “So. You can still like perform as a thirty-year-old?”

Bucky’s face deepens into a shade of red. “If you’re talking about sex, then yes.”

I sat back in the booth, finally content with how my life was going. I was an Avenger, trained by one of the most deadly assassins in the world. The love of my life was back and he wasn’t doubting my faithfulness to him any longer and he was sitting across from my two oldest friends having the strangest of conversations with them. I smiled to myself thinking about how nice it was to be somewhat normal now and again.

#bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes #winchester #dean winchester #sam winchester #fan fic #fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #dean winchester x reader #sam winchester x reader #request #requested #marvel #marvel fanficiton #marvel fanfic #supernatural #SPN #supernatural fanficiton #sonofadeanwinchester

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neoneversleeps · 6 years ago

Text

safe | l.mk

pairing: mark lee x reader

genre: angst with a happy ending

warnings: swearing, underage drinking, marihuana, slight age gap, making out

description:

Mark’s kisses were warm, and they were comfort and they were safe. And that night, you realized how much that scared you.

ib: girls your age - transviolet

word count: ~2.3k

Pink hues. Strobing lights. Drinks sloshing over the rims of red solo cups. Clouds of smoke.

You’re high the first time you meet Mark. Your blissed out mind poorly directs your body over to the boy standing in the corner of the room, red cup in hand but it seems to be just a decoration. Something to help him blend in, mix with the crowd, you assume. He looks older than your friends and he doesn't seem too interested in the party around him. You wonder why he chose to come if he was just planning on lurking in the corner.

You giggle into your hand as you lean on the space of wall beside him. He seems taken aback, eyes widening almost comically when he meets yours. You smile goofily. Your brain was still very much out of it and everything amused you.

“You don’t seem to be having too much fun.” you say with a pout, poking his chest to put emphasis on the word “you”. He doesn't flinch away at your touch but he eyes you cautiously as he looks up from you extended finger. “I guess not.” he chuckles nervously and your stomach does a little flip at the sound.

You chalk the weird feeling up to mixing alcohol with weed. You don’t do feelings. You just, don't. You smile at him though. And then you take his hand and tilt your head towards the crowd of people dancing. “Do you wanna dance?”, your words slur together just a little, “Maybe then you'll finally have some fun.” His eyes flit to the dance floor, and for just a second there's a flicker of fear in them. Then he directs his gaze back to you, his eyes staring into yours. His gaze is so intense and so...deep that you almost want to turn away, to look anywhere but his eyes. But for some reason you don't. Everything around you is slightly blurred but yet the boy in front of you is crystal clear. His eyes are a deep dark shade of brown. They seem endless. They give you the feeling of falling, of falling with no end, falling into a deep abyss. And yet there is no fear of hitting the ground. “Okay” he breathes out after what feels like an eternity. It takes you a second to react, as if you were coming out of a trance. You take his hand and lead him off to dance.

You learn a lot more about the mysterious boy after that night. You learn that his name’s Mark Lee, that he recently moved to the town, that he's from Canada. You learn that you were right about him being older. He's 19 and a first year in college, making him two years older than you. You also learn that he was born on the 2nd of august, a leo, and that his favorite snacks in the whole world are watermelons. (You buy him a baseball cap with a watermelon on it when you spend a week in Cali and he’s ecstatic when you gift it to him.)

That's another thing you learn about Mark. He’s caring and happy and bright and positive energy seems to surround him. He's the guy that everyone wants to be friends with. The guy all the girls have a crush on. A true and completely pure sweetheart.

You were the opposite. It's not like you tried to be negative about everything. You just kept to yourself most of the time, you didn't like to let people know too much about you. Often times, you came off as cold, as distant, as rude. The truth is you were just scared. Scared to let anyone in. your life at home was a living hell too, so you liked to drink ad get high and make out as parties. It made you forget. It made you happy. Or at least, your own little twisted version of happy.

Mark knew you had been high off your ass the first time he met you but that didn't mean he approved of your behavior. He mostly kept his disapproval silent though, he didn't want to constantly fight and honestly, he was tired of trying to get you to change your ways. But of course he worried. He worried because he cared. Because you were his friend.

Friends, yes. You were friends, but also something more. That night at the party you had made out in the bathroom. You had continued to make out several times over the months that followed. Sometimes at his place, sometimes at yours. Sometimes at a party or in the bathroom of the diner where you hung out with him and his friends. Sometimes, you made out in his car at 3 in the morning when you couldn't handle being at home and called him up at that ungodly hour. Voice strained and eyes teary.

Mark would ask whats wrong, he would want to talk about it, to help in some way. You would brush him off every time. Just like you would brush off any talk of feelings, or dating or anything to do with the term “official”.

There were times where Mark just wouldn't relent. You were straddling his lap. Fingers bunching up his jean jacket in the backseat of his 1965 Buick Riviera (“A family heirloom. It used to belong to my grandfather. My dad passed it on to me on my 18th birthday.”). You desperately tried to kiss him but he dodged every attempt. “No, y/n. We are not kissing until you tell me what's wrong.” His gaze was firm, hands planted secured on on each side of your waist. You sighed heavily but you knew you weren't going to get anywhere soon if you didn't tell him at least something. You got off his lap and sat in the seat next to him.

“Its my parents, ok? They never stop fighting and it's a mess. And somehow I always get dragged into it. It's part of the reason why I like going out so much. I just really hate having to hear their shouts all the fucking time when I’m home. I think”, your voice is gravelly and you take a steadying breath, “I think if i had to spend anymore time in that house than I already do, I would go insane.” You end with something akin to a chuckle. When you look up at Mark, there's sympathy in his eyes together with an underlying sadness, and there's something else there that you don't want to label. You can't stand it.

You lean forward and press your lips to his neck. “y/n…” he warns. You continue kissing up his neck, drawing closer to the sweet spot under his ear. “Please Mark”, you plant a kiss at the end of his jaw before continuing, “can we just not talk about it?”. You nibble at the sensitive spot near his ear and hear him exhale a sigh above you. You smile a little, you know you've won at this point. “Fine”, he groans when you suck at his sensitive flesh, “but promise me you’ll talk about it with me some other time, yeah?” He moves your positions so you back on his lap and he can look at you. “Promise”, you say, but you know full well you don't mean it and from the hurt look buried deep inside his eyes, Mark knows it too. There’s guilt clawing at your insides. You didn't like lying to Mark, making promises that the both of you knew you weren't gonna keep. Mark deserved better. That, among other things, was one of the reasons you would never date Mark. He deserved someone so much better. Right now, however, you didn't want to waste any moment with Mark, so you crashed your lips onto his.

Mark’s kisses were warm, open mouthed and languid, hot breath mingling with your own. Only growing needy when you moved to pull away, needing to catch your breath as Mark’s lips chased yours.

Mark’s kisses were warm, and they were comfort and they were safe. And that night, you realized how much that scared you.

You’re high when you tell Mark you love him.

The both of you are sat on the rooftop of Marks shitty apartment complex. You had wanted to get high earlier that evening and Mark told you that he’d rather you just get high with him then for you to go to another party. The last one you had gone to had ended with a way too touchy guy being punched in the face, Mark’s reddened knuckles, and a lot of throwing up on your part. So, you had agreed to just get high while being next to Mark, snuggled into his side a the wind howled past you.

You had also managed to get Mark to take his first ever hit. He coughed from the burning sensation of the drug filling his lungs, face scrunched up in disgust and you laughed. You laughed and then he looked at you, smile tugging at his lips and you just...said it.

“I love you.” You looked at his eyes, those same deep brown eyes you saw at the party all those months ago. You hate to admit it, but you think you fell into them the moment his gaze met yours that night.

“Don't go jump the gun. Live fast while you're young honey, don't go chasing love.”

Your mother’s words ring faintly in your head. You couldn't blame her. She had married too young, gotten pregnant too young, and it had ruined her life. But you weren't your mother, and Mark wasn't your father. You were different.

Mark finally snaps out of his shocked state. “You don't mean that.” He says then, and your heart clenched at how broken he sounded. But you can't blame him for not believing you. You could barely believe yourself. You feel new tears form and your voice is shaky when you speak: “I do, I do- I do mean it. I mean it so much.” There's tears running down your cheeks now but Mark faces away. “No you dont.”, his tries to sound angry but it just ends up sounding tired, “You're just way too high.” A loud sob wracks your body then but Mark still refuses to look at you. “If you actually loved me”, he swallows, “you’d tell me when you arntt high as a kite.” He sighs and stands up. “I'll leave the door unlocked, ok? I'm gonna go to sleep, on the couch. You can have the bed. Don't stay out here all night, got it? And for God's Sake, please don't do anything stupid.” He faces you when he talks, but he still won't look at you. It hurts so much, but you don't say anything. You stay silent and watch as he leaves.

Mark wakes up to his phone buzzing like crazy on is coffee table. He groans and stretches, wincing when he hears the joints in his back cracking. Sleeping on the couch sucks, he thinks to himself. His phone buzzes again and Mark quickly blinks to adjust his eyes to the stream of sunlight flooding through his balcony door. He reaches for his hone slowly, mind a little groggy for some reason. The screen lights with another message and he mindlessly clicks on it only to see that it's you texting him. Your nickname “Munchkin” (from when you had told Mark about your love for the wizard of Oz and he decided to call you Munchkin due to you being smaller than him and because he found it cute, much to your dismay) lit up the top of the phone screen.

Munchkin💗

[09:05am]

hey, you awake?

markk?

hello??

[09:27am]

MARK

istg the one time i try to do something nice for you

AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN UP

[10:02am]

mark leeeee

markus

yeah?

FINALLY you're up

go on your balcony

what? why?

just do it please

ok ok

Mark sat up and scrambled to get out from under his blanket, limbs not quite cooperating this early in the morning. He finally makes his way to the balcony, sliding open the door and stepping out into the cold air.

“Hey! Down here!” You shout as soon a you saw his balcony doors opening. His head pops out over the railing and you squint up at him, the harsh morning sun making it difficult to get a good view of Mark’s face.

“Does this count at something stupid?” You shout up at him. Next to you stood Marks car with the words “I love you Mark Lee” complete with heart sprawled on top of the hood with white paint to contrast its black color. You hear his laugh from above and your heart swells with affection at the sound. He's running through the front door of the building in no time and before you can even register it, he swoops you up in his arms and swings you around. The both of you are smiling and slightly out of breath when Mark sets you back down.

“I love you, Mark Lee. And I mean it.”

He kisses you, but it feels different than your normal ones. You can feel each emotion he's trying to convey, feel the love he's pouring in to you. You wrap your arms around his neck and he pulls you as close as he can by your waist. After a moment, he pulls away and rests his forehead against yours.

“I love you too.”

He smiles as he says it and you dont think you’ve ever felt this relieved and happy in your life so you pull him into a bone crushing hug. He plants a kiss on the top of your head and gently strokes your hair. You stay like that for a while until you feel him shift slightly in your embrace. “Hey y/n.” “Mmm.” you hummed in response against his chest. “That’s washable paint...right?” You giggled as you pulled away from him. “Oops.”

“Y/n!”

(It was, of course, washable paint, but Mark didnt have to know that just yet.)

#mark #mark lee #nct #mark scenarios #nct mark #mark angst #mark fluff #fanfic #mark x reader #mark lee x reader #nct 127 #nct u #nct dream #nct 2018

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theskyisneveralwaysblue · 5 years ago

Text

The Long Mistake

I love you. I love you from the tips of your fingers through to the deepest part of your soul that no one else sees. I love the curve of your smile, your witty humour. I love the way you say my name, when you talk about our future and make me smile even if it’s for a small while. I love your tattoos, the bright colours on your tanned European skin. I love the way I have to stand on the tips of my toes to kiss you, I love when you hold me close and I feel your arms firm around me. I feel safe, my protector. You don’t like it when other guys are rude to me, you defend me before I hit back at my own accord. I love the way you laugh and sexily dance in the kitchen when you cook dinner and you look back at me like I’m the only girl in the room, physically I am. Digitally I am not.

We’ve all been there, even you reading this now. We’ve all dated someone who wasn’t right for us but we loved them regardless because we see past the shitty things we don’t want to see when we are in love. Maybe it’s just lust and we get stuck there for a while.

“Hindsight, it’s a wonderful thing”, someone said to me very recently. We had been talking for a week and we met on the beach. It was a hot afternoon, I can still smell the salty air. He was so quiet and I was so very inquisitive wanting to know everything about him. We started seeing each other on the regular, he would come to my place and have dinner and sleep the night; only two weeks in of fucking and he said “I love you”. I laughed because it was such a perpostorous thing to say to someone... when you’ve just had sex and in a short period of time. I laughed and I said “I think you’re just cunt struck”... romantic, I know. I didn’t love him, I was in lust. It took me longer to return the feeling. I was more cautious, the previous man in my life left me standing at the airport after I told him I loved him after six months of dating - that shit shattered me and it’s made me hard. I take other peoples feelings into consideration, ultimately I am protective of my own because I don’t want to be hurt, again. But this one is different.

I remember sitting there talking to my housemate saying things like; “I don’t think he really likes me”, “what if he doesn’t actually like me”, “Do you think he’s into me?”, “I don’t think he’s really into me”, “I don’t think we would last”, “I think he’s just going to treat me like every other male has so far and is going to fuck me and then run” - hindsight. My friend assured me “If he didn’t like you, he wouldn’t be hanging around like he is, you just need to give him a chance”. I remember my eyes rolling into the back of my skull and saying “Yeah, righto, I’ll give him a chance”. I can’t be doubtful all my life.

The chance.

A couple of months in a friend messages me; “Are you still with him? Because he’s on Tinder? What’s happened?”, I think about it, he’s already told me he’s not on it. I confront him and he says he’s on it for a joke with a mate. Weird joke but okay. I accept it because I mean I struggle to take dating apps seriously. Eventually he asks me to move in with him, I did, I wanted to, I really like him. No I love him. We get into the rhythm of doing life together. He goes to work, I go to uni, we come home we watch a movie and eat dinner. We go to the strand on the weekends because I love the ocean and we like that quality time together when we’re both not working. Like any other normal night I go on the computer and I was so fucking tired - exhausted. He was working and I thought nothing of it. “Reload last session” - I reboot it. My eyes drooping while I get up to make my fourth coffee for the day so I can stay awake and work on my uni assessments because I had been researching earlier that day. I looked back at the computer with confusion, “This is not research”, I sat there and scrolled over the page - a webcam site. I’m confused and I look at all the tabs now open... all of them, webcam sites. I click on each one feeling my heart sink. Each one with a different name; “Omegle”, “Slut Roullette”, “Chaturbate” and several others I can’t remember the names of them. I remember seeing where the webcam should be connected and reading on the website “Your device has been blocked” Suddenly I’m awake. I message him “we need to talk when you get home”. I assess the dates and times of when he searched these sites and I look back at my diary to see where I was during these times. I carefully construct a collage of everything I’ve found - a literal power point presentation. Because I’m not going to approach a subject without proof. His Facebook is still wide open and I see a conversation between him and my co-worker’s boyfriend; “who’s tits in the background?” And his response “my mrs, ssshhh. I didn’t realise she was there”. I sit there staring at it for a bit and part of me felt frustrated; how could he be so wreckless and send a photo with me topless in the background. But I also decide against bringing it up because it’s just tits. I’ve been topless at parties before - but I guess back then I wasn’t as conservative as I am now, older and wiser that kinda thing. Whatever. I also find a conversation with him and some friends in a group chat “Oi I just got a blow job” followed by a detailed experience and I just kinda don’t think much of it because whatever. Guys are gonna talk to their mates and I suppose it’s the same for women? In my personal experience though I’ve only really talked about hook ups with guys to mates who were fucking shocking and a one off experience before I go AWOL on their ass.

He comes home after an all night shift and I’m sitting there at the table with my leg crossed over my other leg ready to begin a Spanish Inquisition. “What’s this?” I ask while staring at him for a direct answer. He sits down and he looks me in the eyes and he says “It’s a habit I had before I met you. I don’t know why I’m still doing it, I’ll stop”... I take a deep breath - how am I going to approach this. He’s 19 and hasn’t had a serious relationship before. I lay it out black and white and I say “Look, I get you’re young and you’re gonna go and look at weird shit on the internet because it’s a male thing and that’s fine, whatever, I don’t want to know about it. But I think it’s different if you’re on webcam sites as opposed to porn sites because you’re COMMUNICATING with other women therefore you have an intention”. He agrees that it doesn’t look good and says he’ll stop. A couple of weeks pass and we’re jokingly getting on each other’s phones and uploading Facebook status updates on each other’s accounts... I got on his phone and I noticed an app... Whatsapp... KIK... what’s this? I’ve never heard of it. I open them curiously and there it is in plain black and white... “got any pics?”... “I’m in the army”... “you’re cute”... he’s sent photos of himself, shirtless, naked, partially in uniform. I remember waiting for him to wake up from his nap. “Who the fuck is this?”, he looks at me confused “I don’t know”, “YOU DON’T KNOW? BUT YOU’VE SENT PHOTOS OF YOURSELF TO THEM? YOU’RE ASKING FOR PHOTOS OF THEM?”, he’s embarrassed, he calms me down and says “I’m sorry, this won’t happen again”.

The next time it happened I had been at work for five hours and my shift comes to an end, I pull my phone out of my bag and I have a message request on Facebook. I open it and see it’s some random girl from America messaging me, I open her message and it reads “Hey, I think this is your boyfriend?”, I open the photo sent to me from her and it’s his cock. I keep my calm and I say goodbye to my co-workers, I walk up the escalator and I get to the car, he’s sitting there waiting for me not ready for the shit storm I’m about to unleash as I rip the car door handle and the door flings open and he’s looking at me confused and I ask who she is. He sits there and tells me “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I don’t know who you’re talking about?” - I shove my phone under his face and I can see the look of panic and the colour draining from his face. His eyes wide. I slam the door shut in his face as he leans across to say “I’m sorry” and I run down the stairwell with my eyes red, tears flooding down my face. I get myself together after 20mins and find him still there. In the parked space. Waiting for me. I come back and get in the car and we go home. I walk ahead and get inside and I start to pack my things. Apologies upon apologies “I love you, I won’t do it again”. The next day he brings me a bouquet of roses to me at work telling me he loves me. This is the second time in my life I have ever received flowers from a guy. I accept them but there’s this sadness. I’m slowly starting to pick myself apart physically, I don’t think I’m attractive and that’s why he does it.

Things calm down and I don’t notice any odd behaviour. We move house and it gets worse. I catch him on KIK and Whatsapp another time and it starts to feel like collateral damage. I’m now sliding into depression. “Why does he keep doing it?”, “Am I a hard person to love?”, “Maybe I’m just the girl guys fuck and then move on to find the love of their life because that’s how it feels”. He goes on an exercise to Malaysia and I wait. I wake up in the early hours of the morning before he walks out the door and I hold him close. I don’t want him to go, I’m used to him being there. Everyday I sit by my phone. I want him to tell me he loves me. I want him to tell me he misses me. Nothing happens. I so desperately want him home but a small part of me starts to progress. I fuel myself with vegetables, chicken and water, I start going to the gym again. But emotionally I am exhausted. We start to fight. Oh how we fight. Fear has taken over me and I am terrified he is cheating on me. I don’t trust him, is he back on KIK? Is he back on Whatsapp? Suddenly... Why is his ex all the fucking way over there in the same fucking country near him and conveniently liking his photos on Instagram? - I confront him head on and he says “I don’t know, I haven’t seen her, she’s not near me”, “YeAh Ok”. The trust, it’s long gone. He tells me I’m being too much and breaks up with me via messenger while In a foreign country. I sit there and stare at it and I respond with “You can come home and say it to my face like a fucking adult”. I’m tired. Im physically sick. I’ve spent several hours vomiting in the bathroom with nothing to bring up. I’ve had two friends comfort me, one held me in their arms while I cried and cried and questioned “Why am I not good enough? Why does he always make me feel like this? Why am I always treated like a piece of shit by any male I date? Why is it always the same story?”. It’s late at night, he comes home from his exercise and holds me in his arms and this is where it really starts and he says “You turn everything into a fight and you pushed me to this point. I’m sorry, I love you, I won’t do it again”.

I struggle to be happy. Everything feels like it’s a lot of effort. Waking up in the mornings are hard and most nights I’m staring at my reflection in the mirror thinking about what life could be if he just cared because it sure felt like he didn’t. Being spoken to like I’m a piece of shit becomes routine I snap back and he tells me I’m putting him in a bad mood. But I still love him. I keep going, I persist. He said he would change, right? I catch him on KIK and Whatsapp again. This feels like the 600th time. Yet the conversation is the same. I get to the point where I am worn out; “Can we please just end this shit if you don’t want to be together because it’s killing me. You’re breaking my heart every time I catch you and you’re wasting my time”. He says he’ll stop and he still wants to be together. Of course I stick around because he said he would change and I love him and I’m clutching on to that ray of hope that he means it. I start to resent myself. I hate going out. I hate socialising. I keep my distance from male friends when we go out because I don’t want to make him uncomfortable. I’m too concerned to hang out with female friends because he starts asking me for threesomes with them and I keep saying no. Now I’m concerned he will try to fuck one of my friends so I keep my distance. Isolation.

We go out with his friends and their girlfriends are young and beautiful and I sit there resenting myself and I can see him looking at them. I see him looking at other girls when we are out - I know it’s a natural thing to do to look at someone else and admire them from afar when you’re in a relationship but this always felt like it was more, probably because I had already caught him multiple times messaging other girls. I pin myself into a corner and resent myself more for letting myself go. I feel hideous. I don’t feel good enough. He goes to his dental and physio appointments and tells me the nurses are into him. He pokes me for a reaction. He gets it. He starts to call me crazy.

He complains that he’s always broke and has no money, I tell him to apply for RA. He refuses to. I eventually do it for him because he asks me to, and a notification comes through to say that his payments for live on accomodation will be ceased... $213 a f/n. For three years he had been paying $213 a f/n while we were on a lease together for a room on base. RED FLAG RED FLAG ALARM BELLS. I ask him pointedly “Did you have a room on base you were bringing girls back to?” - “No I didn’t”. Logical me can see he was but I so desperately wanted to believe him. Frustrated me pointed out that the total wasted amount was close to a house deposit or a new car. I am mentally drained. My parents, my Aunty and a selected small handful of friends tell me to “stop parenting him”. “Stop being his mother”.

He goes away to see family on the Gold Coast and I’m anxious. I don’t trust him. Who is he really with down there? I call; “I’m just with dad doing this”, “ok”. I venture onto the computer now that he’s not here, he has 3 emails... I don’t know all of the passwords, so I’m a little crafty - I go to settings and venture in a little further and I reveal the passwords. I’m not completely stupid. I then begin to explore each email and I type in key words of alias names he’s used on chat sites, sure enough KIK and Whatsapp appear again. I type in key words like “dating” and “hookup” a website appears I start reading the email headings “Cinnamonxo has responded to your message”... I download the app, I click forgot password and I enter the email and I change the password on him. Because fuck him. I go into the app and I read the messages “are you available at 12.30pm?”, “blow job $50”. My eyes swell. Here we are back at square one. Where was at 12.30pm on that day? I look back at my diary - work. What am I doing. I call in floods of tears, here we go again to play the same game of him trying to lie his way out of a confrontation. Mentally I’m exhausted at this point. He says he didn’t follow through with it but I had already messaged her and received a response from her saying “I am so sorry, I had no idea he had a girlfriend, please know it was nothing personal, I’m just trying to earn some money” to which my response was “I know, I just wanted closure and confirmation, I’m not coming after you”. He came home and we fought. I wanted to know what he had really been doing down there on the coast because I didn’t trust him. He says just seeing family. Now I’m paranoid every time I go to work. This isn’t good. “what’s he doing? Who’s he with?”.

We make it through the years, there’s engagement parties, there’s weddings - these are friends I’ve had for years from my childhood. I ask him to come with me and be my date to functions and he says “No, I don’t want to go, just tell them I’m not feeling well” and he games for hours with headphones in. I go as my own date, my own rock, almost ready to have a mental break down. I just wanted a supportive boyfriend. The one engagement party we did go to he locked himself in the bathroom and bags out the night to a female friend who says “why go anyways”. They both swap photos of their bodies showing each other their tattoos and I’m agitated. The night is almost ruined for my friend and she yells at him to grow up and not to ruin her night, she takes me to the bathroom and comforts me. She asks me “what’s wrong?” And I cover his ass because I love him.

The conversations become the same. I start to see it for what it is and I start to want to break away. I tell him I think we aren’t working I ask him if anything is going to change and he promises it will. I’m defeated. We go out together and people can see it. They ask if I’m okay. I say “I’m fine”. Friends stop to talk to me at the shops and he walks away without saying anything or completely walks past and doesn’t stop to say hello. I’m wrestless and on edge and it’s a sick combination.

It’s my birthday and I’m turning 27, I have this overwhelming feeling I get when it’s my birthday. I always feel like I haven’t accomplished anything and I see all my friends engaged, married, kids, and in careers that they enjoy. I reflect a lot on my life and I know I shouldn’t compare it but I do. It’s even worse because I don’t feel loved. He’s asleep on the bed and I go onto the computer, I have a sinking feeling “What’s he done now? What am I going to find?”, I go into search history and I see the title “BBW Gives Blow Job”, I feel my eyes roll into the back of my head “won’t have sex with me but will go looking this shit up”, I grimace as I open it up. It takes me a moment to realise what I’m watching. His cock in some thing’s mouth. I feel like I’m going to be sick. I’m literally sitting there watching a homemade porno of him being deep throated by what I think is a male at first. I fly off the handle. He wakes up and is confused like he always is and I’m there yelling at him; “DID YOU FUCK A GUY?” my voice is loud and shrill and I’m almost certain the neighbours are listening. I’m distraught. I yell at him to get the fuck out of the house and to fuck off. I sit by the window and I watch him drive off, tears flowing down my eyes. I feel a deep sadness. Why do I keep putting myself through this. Why do I love him and why do I keep sticking around for someone like him. A friend calls me and comforts me. He comes home and we talk, I feel ready to punch a wall. He says he’s sorry and he cares and loves me and won’t do it again. I don’t know what to think. I know I should walk away but at the same time I think he means it.

I slowly start to reconnect with friends. I come forward and tell them what’s happening in our life, some of them cry and ask me why I’m still in the relationship and I say “because I love him and he said he wouldn’t do it again, and he would change”. Friends constantly tell me “He’s abusive as fuck, leave” and I let it ride out. I can only say I’ve had one positive relationship experience and even then he still left me. I just simply felt like this was all I would ever get in life, this would be the best relationship I would ever have and it would be the one I deserved. Because eventually he’ll change, right? Occasionally a male friend will message me and ask me how I am and he sees the messages and demands to know “do you want to fuck him?”... obviously I don’t because I’m in a relationship and I’m committed. There was so much he was projecting onto me from his own actions and I’m tired. I’m so old school, I don’t get in a relationship unless I want to be in it and then I’m in it for the long haul. I guess I was too proud and that’s why I wouldn’t walk away. I’m grabbing at the ropes and they’re sliding through my fingertips.

Weeks later again I find appointment times made during my work hours with prostitutes. We fight again. The neighbours are probably listening again and I’ve raised my voice for the I don’t know how many times in fucking pain. I blast him. I resent him. But I love him. He’ll change I know he will, because I love him and he told me he loved me and promised me again that he would. I call my Dad, a shrill of desperation in my voice as it breaks, he’s held me many times when I’ve broken down. He says “I taught you to walk away from men like this, I’ve always taught you better than this, you know this. Why are you still with him?” I sobbed and said “I love him”. My Dad reminded me “There is better out there and you will see it one day” I can hear his heart break through his voice when he talks to me. He just wants me to be happy. My Dad pulled him aside and told him to straighten up or leave. We always had the same conversation, I would always say “Please leave if you’re going to keep putting me through this shit because it fucking kills me, you’re wasting my time and breaking my heart” I feel like a broken record player at this point. And it was always the same response “You pushed me away, that’s why I did it, but I swear I won’t do it again, I’ll change, I love you”.

I was tired of being sex deprived a lot of the time, he rarely wanted to fuck me. Usually I’m a pocket rocket and will want to go every night but it was always the same “not tonight, I’m too tired”, “I’m not in the mood”, I was shafted aside for games and prostitutes. I asked the same questions throughout the relationship; “Is it because I’ve put on too much weight? Is it because I’m not fit like I was? Am I unattractive? Do you just not find me attractive anymore?” The response is always the same “No. You just fight with me all the time and it pushes me away and I go looking elsewhere, you need to see a psychologist, you need help. Everything with you is a fight”. It’s not. It’s the constant cycle of repetition. It’s the constant poor behaviour, me catching him out and being livid for weeks on end and then him pulling the same shit again. “You turn everything into a fight, you pushed me to this point, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again”. Humiliated I was booking appointments with doctors each time because I needed to be checked for STDs, thankfully nothing.

I was tired of being snapped at and spoken to like I’m trash, I retaliate and everything becomes my fault. I would be the joke. “She’s crazy” he would say to his friends in front of me while laughing but I had every right to be on the edge. He made me feel that way. I would threaten to speak up and he would panic - “I don’t want my friends to think any less of me, I don’t want to lose friends” he was conscious and well aware of his actions. He would look at old photos of me from when I was 18 and make comments like “I wish I fucked you when you were 18” and I would feel sick to the pit of my stomach, it must have been written on my face because he would back up his comment with “I’m just kidding”. The other comment was “I wish I had a girlfriend with tattoos” and I felt even more shitty because I felt like I wasn’t physically appealing enough.

I was so tired of constantly being the one that cleaned up. I did a lot in the relationship, a lot of background work, it comes with the territory of being the partner of a military man. Some days I would let the house go when he would be home because I thought “He’ll actually do something about it” and he wouldn’t. I would be stepping over dishes and becoming frustrated out of my fucking mind. His excuse was “I pay the bills therefore I don’t need to clean up” - like as if I didn’t put my fair share of effort in. So much pent up resentment. On nights he was coming home from field I would lay there in bed awake till late at night when he would come home and it didn’t matter if he smelt and looked like shit I still flung my arms around him and was always greeted with a grunt. It never overly felt reciprocated, but I also put it down to “he must feel stressed and tired”. Then for weeks on end I would stare at my reflection in the mirror with the light of his pc reflecting off of it while he was gaming and I would cry myself to sleep. He would tell me his parents thought I was crazy and that he had told them everything - which I highly doubt. I’m sure he told them I was nuts and I was clingy but I’m sure he skipped on all the details of him cheating on me constantly and telling me it was my fault why he did and why I had become so untrusting of him.

More weeks pass. I think we’re in a better place. I get on the computer and I’m curious; “Does he message girls on his gaming server?” I go looking. I guess the password. I’ve become good at this because everything is consistently the same. I’m not sure what the fuck this is. I’m not a gamer. I go looking through the channels, I have my quick eyes on and I’m skimming over conversations quickly. I finally find it “Hey, got any pics?” To three different “girls” and I have to sit there and say “you don’t know for sure if they’re actually women or what their ages are”. We play the same old game “You pushed me to this point, I’m sorry I won’t do it again”.

I never wanted to be this type of girlfriend. I never wanted to lurk around in his messages and be hurt time and time again. But it was the constant reasons he gave me to go looking. The look of panic on his face if I picked up his phone and hadn’t opened it. I knew then that something was there. Part of me would start to miss my ex prior to him, not miss him personally but miss the relationship we had. Sex every single night - but it never felt like a routine - always spontaneous, exercising together every afternoon, laughing together, watching movies together, going on dates, we never once looked at each other’s phones because we trusted each other, randomly slow dancing in the kitchen together, the feeling of being whole - people saw us together before we were dating and thought we were already together, we were 100% comfortable in each other’s company. I would compare it to what I had now in that moment and it would break me. I was constantly saying to him “Please do not waste anymore of my time, please let me move on. If we aren’t working can we please just end it” and he would always say “I’m sorry, I won’t do it again”. It was the same thing time and time again. I knew I always looked like a tired stressed mess. I would also start to think about every guy I had met and not given an opportunity to and I would feel like perhaps they would have been far more worthy of my time and love than this guy is - was.

For months he spends hours upon hours gaming and I’m ready to throw the computer off the balcony. I ask if we can do something “Can we go out?”, “Do you want to watch a movie?”, “Let’s go get dinner”, “let’s go see a movie” and the response was always the same “I’m tired, I don’t want to, I’ve already made plans with the boys you should have asked me yesterday”. And once he’s done gaming he runs out the door to spend time with them. We play happy family for social media, everyone thinks we are madly in love - at least they have it half right. I’m in love with him. He comes home we fight he goes to sleep on the couch and I blame myself for his shitty behaviour and I beg him to come back to bed.

For years I tell him everyday “I love you” before he leaves for work in the morning, before whenever I leave the house, before he leaves the house for anything, before he goes out field, when he’s having a shit day. I tell him I think he’s handsome almost every day. I’m grunted at or hear a “love you too” and it feels like an invisible bruise.

I go out to coffee with a friend and she’s introducing me to her baby, I love him - he cries and I put on Mozart and he’s out like a light - call me the baby whisperer. We’re friends from high school and we’ve known each other forever. She tells me I shouldn’t move, it’s a bad idea. Secretly I know it is too. I tell her I love him but if it doesn’t work at least I haven’t moved down there if I stay here a bit longer if he does something. She tells me she thinks he’s cruel, emotionally abusive and he’s wasting my time, silently I agree but I hold onto this tiny flame of hope that he will change. She says “You need a man, not a boy”.

The end of the year is coming and quickly and I have this streak of overwhelming anxiety because I know he’s moving. He’s posting away. We’ve agreed I’ll hang back till I can get a transfer with work or find something down there. I feel this burning sensation in the backs of my eyes for weeks. I desperately want to cry and beg him not to go but I know that will do nothing. He tells me “Don’t you cry”. He leaves and I’m watching out the window as he drives off with his dad in toe. Tears roll down my cheeks, deep down I have this feeling and it’s saying “He’s going to hurt you, he doesn’t love you. He’s going to leave you. He’s going to fuck another girl”. For two weeks I drink and then I start taking sleeping pills so I can knock myself out and have decent nights sleep, I’m too busy laying there staring at the ceiling if I don’t. I feel like I’m going crazy and I keep telling my friends “I don’t trust him, I’m so stressed out”.

The days they feel so much longer without him around. I’m trying my best. I’m still running errands, I’m holding down the fort, I’m feeding the dogs and taking them on walks, I’m bpaying all the bills on his behalf for him, I’m trying to call within the right times because of daylight savings. I call and he tells me “You need to ask me if you can call first, I’m busy”. Suspicions arise. “I shouldn’t have to, you’re on leave... I would if you were working but you’re not”. He lags in response to my messages and stops answering my calls. I can see him responding to friends messages and ignoring mine. I see him deleting messages to a friend and I question him - “You won’t like what he sends me”, I become aware and cautious. I’m hanging out with an old friend and I tell him, he asks me what my Facebook password is and I have nothing to hide. I pass it on. He tells me the next day he didn’t go into my messenger but I can see in my settings I’m logged into a Samsung S10 in Tamworth and I confront him. He says “that’s weird because I’m not” and I say “that’s weird because I don’t own a Samsung S10 and I’m not in Tamworth”.

I later go trawling through his messages and I see a message to his sister... “I’m sorry, I’m not coming to training this afternoon, I’m going to see a mate in Armidale, he’s posting away”... I message him and ask him what he’s doing and he says “having drinks with my sister”. I’m already very aware that this is a lie. I contact his dad because he doesn’t message me for a bit and I say “Hey, Is he still having drinks with his sister?” And his dad doesn’t respond. I go back into his messenger and I can see his dad messaging him “she’s asking me if you’re having drinks with your sister, what do you want me to tell her?”... you see I’ve already searched his messenger and there is no friend in Armidale in his messenger contacts. I did go into his Facebook and find a girls name consistently come up and she’s located in Armidale. I message him and I say “Can you please be honest with me for once”, he says “you’re not going to get much out of me my phone is on 1%”. I messaged again; “Are you in Armidale with another girl?”, I got no response. I go back to his messenger and I see him message his dad back “I know, I’m not talking to her, she’s being too much, just tell her I’ve gone to bed”. I wait for the message covering his son’s cheating ass - received. All I wanted was a straight answer. He messaged me the next day and said he was going to meet up with her and didn’t. It wasn’t until weeks later that I called his bluff and told him I had contacted her and she told me she had seen him... he said “Just because I hung out with her doesn’t make her a whore”. We talk some more and he calls me crazy again. He tells me he doesn’t love me and hasn’t for a while. I’m broken, I’m shattered.

I collapse on the shower floor, the hot water dripping down my body to soothe me. I’m crying, I’m sobbing. Lily; her eyes are so big and round, her brow furrowed with concern, she slowly approaches me looking at me and licks my hand. She’s been my biggest support, she’s my biggest companion. She’s always been there for me and has come to my rescue numerous times putting herself between me and our old dog that was sick and tried to attack me several times. She knows when I’m vulnerable. I’ve been so loyal, I’ve never cheated, I love him and I pour all my energy into him, why am I not good enough? Why am I never good enough? I feel like running a warm bath and taking one of his knives and dragging it along my wrists because I don’t want to have to deal with feeling these emotions, I’m not good enough. I don’t think I’ll ever be good enough. I feel like it’s hard to breathe at times and all the walls are closing in, I panic and I’ll message a friend who says “it’s okay”. I want to be loved. I want a family in the future. I want a man who loves every part of me and who supports me in being happy and healthy. I want what many other people want; someone who is committed and doesn’t make me feel unworthy like I have felt over the last four years. I continue to lay there in the foetal position holding onto myself. I eventually stand up and I scream at the top of my lungs because I have so much pain, hurt and anger and that’s all I can manage because I don’t have that will power to kill myself. I’ve spent years looking beyond his flaws and seeing the good in him, because I love him. This isn’t right.

He leaves me with all his crap, two dogs, and to move house on my own, he says “I’m not leaving you to do everything on your own” but he does, and I do it with the help of three friends. The three friends they look around and say “He really did leave you to do everything”. I pack all his things into black plastic bags and I find his aftershave, I take a break and I lock myself in the bathroom and I sit down for five minutes and I open it up and smell it - that refreshing smell. I take a moment and I throw it into one of the bags. I find one of his t-shirts and I hug it, I can smell his deodorant on it and I cry because I miss him and I know that’s the last I’ll have to deal with the senses of knowing he’s there. I it also into a bag and I do it up, I don’t want to look at his stuff again. I want to wipe if from my mind, quite frankly I want to bin it all.

He messages me asking me questions and I tell him to sort it out on his own, deep down I just want to say “I miss you, I love you” but I hold my ground and keep it direct and civil because that would change nothing. I’ve been answering his beck and call for years, “I’m tired of having the same conversation” I tell him, he excuses himself and says he’s been working and to several different bases in two weeks so it’s not at the front of his mind, reluctant I tell him “That’s not my problem” I’m now trying to break away he’s a big boy and doesn’t need me telling him what to do, I’m not his mother. He tells me I’m being a smart cunt and I made an issue out of nothing. I don’t bother responding because I am so fucking exhausted of playing “Mummy” to a 22 year old adult male. Suddenly a sigh of relief: “Thank god we aren’t married”, “Thank god we don’t have kids” (the dogs are close enough), “Thank god we don’t own a house together”.

I go to my first therapy session and my psychologist is blunt. He’s a clinical psychologist. The kind of psychologist I like. We quit the lovely dovey warm crap and cut to the chase, he looks at me and says pointedly “Your depression scores are incredibly high, but I won’t put you on medication because I know it will hinder your career choice that you’re aiming for. I can see you’re hurting, I can see it in your eyes and I can see you’re tired. He’s gaslighted you for years, he’s a piece of shit. You’re progressing really well though, more so than the other people I see who are still stuck in those really depressive stages. Let’s figure out how to move you forward”.

I start doing life without him, I feel like how Ariel must have felt when she was standing on her own two feet for the first time, I feel like I’m 18 again and I just moved out of home and I’m learning how to adult at an accelerated pace again. I can walk the dogs with no complaints. I can do the grocery shopping without hearing the huffing and puffing in the background. I come home and I feel like I’m not walking on eggshells. I can do the laundry without having a rant at finding the wet clothes/sheets just dumped in a pile on the washing line or stacks of dishes laying around. If I don’t want something in my way in the house I don’t need to ask a 22 year old child to move it - because theres nothing there to move. He never remembered my birthday - 24/04/1992 the day before Anzac Day, every year... It’s not hard to forget. I’m laying in bed staring at the ceiling and I don’t feel like crying. At times I feel lonely then I remember how alone he made me feel when we were dating... and then other times I feel so much more alive than I did a couple of months ago. I don’t feel like the biggest piece of shit in the world anymore, I resented being asked “Do you want to fuck him?” whenever he saw messages from guys in my messenger literally asking me if I’m okay or how I am - because it made me feel like utter filth when I was so committed in the relationship. I’m finally moving on.

It’s been 5 weeks. Friends, they reach out because they care, I’m grateful, and sometimes I reach out to them because I’m panicking and having an anxiety trip - thank you for responding, I love you all. I’ve lost 9kg and on a mission to lose more and get my booty back. I’m looking to go back to roller skating. I’m applying as an RFS volunteer. I’ve brushed the dreadlocks out of my hair, I’m wearing make up and for the first time in 4 years... I feel human. I’ve questioned myself for years... “Am I not attractive enough? Am I shit in bed? Am I really that fucking horrible he has to go looking elsewhere?”... He never once told me he thought I was beautiful - in fact the one time he did it was because a friend told him to because I was having a really shit day, completely resenting myself and my weight gain... and I found the message from her to him, I suppose it was something I wanted to hear because he just kept hurting me and I felt like I was not attractive enough and that’s why he kept looking elsewhere. The more I reflect the more I become aware it’s a him issue. I’ve booked in for my next therapy session. I refuse to go back on a dating app. If I date someone I feel it has to be someone I already know or someone I have connected with. I’m cautious. I will love again because I won’t let this experience dictate the rest of my life. I know I will trust again but it will take time and patience, when the right guy comes along I know he will respect that. I feel less harsh on myself. But I’m finding it hard to love myself again but I know with time it will be easier. I’ll get back to where I was and I won’t look back. There are times where I sincerely wish I had cut the cord years ago rather than begged to just end it if the behaviour wouldn’t change and I would be filled with empty promises and nothing changed.

I swear if at any point in my life I ever have a son I will raise him to never treat a woman so disrespectfully, I will raise him to be honest and to not use their partner as a cop out excuse. If I ever have a daughter I will also raise her to be honest and to walk away from a trash partner before she begins a process of self loathing and unworthyness. If you’re in a relationship similar to this walk away now. Know your self worth, because I lost mine and it’s going to take what feels like forever to gain it back.

I love you; I love you for cheating on me and fucking right off out of my life so I can finally breathe, I can finally meet someone who will love me and show me respect and I will give them the same back. I love you for allowing me to have the opportunity to be healthy and happy again. I love you for allowing me to pour all the positive love I had for you towards someone new one day and I hope they appreciate it anot let it go to waste like you did. Here’s to 2020, and here’s to my new life.

PS. Here’s a direct message from me to you if the shoe fits; Hooroo and Go fuck yourself.

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peacedolantwins · 6 years ago

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Clean (E.D) Part 3

A/N: so this one is gonna be a bit longer just because I feel like I’m breaking it too much so here we go, also yes i threw emma in here because i need to move the plot along

You had found a nice park a few blocks away from where the house was and seeing how cold it was, there wasnt any kids around. You really should have brought a thicker sweater. You went and sat down on the empty swings, taking a moment just to breathe in your surroundings. There was something calming about being in a park when no one else was around. When a gust of wind came by, you watched as a few of the leafs from a near by tree fell off and were added to the pile already forming on the ground.

Being around other people was something you hadnt gotten used to since you left New York. Everything was so different here in LA. It was nice having people not know about your past or what happened. Your feeling for Ethan were happening so fast and it was kind of scaring you. Last time you had felt anything close to this, you ended up making a mess of your life back home.

You had just met him, but everything just felt right. You knew he would have had to be a good person or else James wouldn’t be friends with him after all. After everything you’ve been through you knew he wouldnt bring someone like your ex around you. Maybe you could just see how things go and take it from there.

“Hey,” You were brought out of your thoughts when someone sat down at the swing next to you. Looking over, Ethan was right there, just waiting for you to say something.

“Did James send you after me?” You were kind of offended that James didnt trust you to go out on your own.

“No he didnt. It just looked like you were upset when you left and you could use someone to talk to.” He looked at you like he genuinely cared and it was so nice to see that from someone else.

“Just… moving here has been a big change for me, that’s all. I’m still adjusting I guess.” While that part was true, you weren’t going to tell him that you left to think about him and to sort out what you were feeling. As you spoke, Ethan couldnt help but take in how beautiful you looked. Your cheeks rosy from the cold, your hair swaying from the breeze. He wished he could have taken a picture because to him it really was a beautiful view.

“It might take some time. I remember when Gray and I moved here it took us a while to figure out everything.”

“Where did you move from? If you dont mind me asking,” When you turned to face him, he seemed shocked.

“You really don’t know who we are, do you?” When you shook your head, he couldnt really believe it. It had been a long time since he met someone who didn’t know what he and his brother did and it was refreshing. There was no already formed picture of him in your head that he had to live up to. He was getting to start new with someone.

“We make videos, like James just not with makeup.”

“Oh,” you didn’t think James was going to introduce you to those friends. You knew he had a few youtube friends but you never thought you would meet them. You were just a friend from home afterall.

“Well, that’s cool, but you never did answer my question.” While it was nice knowing they were influencers as well, you still wanted to know more about him.

“What?” He thought you would have asked more about what he did. It seemed almost like you didnt care about that side of him, but rather wanted to get to know him for him.

“Where are you from?”

“New Jersey, we moved about three years ago,”

“Three years ago? How old were you? Arent you younger than James?” If you remembered anything James told you about the boys it was they were younger than both of you.

“We left when we were fifteen and-”

“Oh my god that’s so young! I thought James left early but damn thats really young, wow.” You couldn’t believe they had been on their own for so long. Well, it wasnt that long, but knowing they were so young was crazy to you.

“My turn.” He turned to you even more.

“Sorry?”

“You asked me a question, so I wanna ask you a question.” You didnt know about this. As long as nothing came up from your past you would be fine. That wasn’t something you were ready to talk about with someone you just met, no matter how they made you feel.

“Okay, go for it,”

“Why did you move out here?” He looked curious, you werent about to be completely honest but you didnt want to lie to him either.

“Home just wasn’t home for me anymore.” He could tell you didn’t want to talk about it any further than that so he left it at that. He just met you and he didnt want to push you away. You two sat in silence for a few minutes before he noticed you were shivering. Getting up, he took off his coat and held it out for you.

“No, its okay, I’m fine.” You shook your head and did your best to stop your shivering.

“No offense, but youre not exactly a good liar.” If only you knew, you thought to yourself. “Just take it,” Getting up from the swing you reached out for it, only for him to hold it open so he could help you put it on. As you turned around, you felt his hand caress the back of your neck and you felt shivers go down your spine and you knew it wasnt from the cold. Once it was on, he couldnt help but smile at seeing how cozy you looked and he would be lying if he said that seeing you in his clothes had no effect on him.

“Do you want to go and maybe get some coffee or something?” While the two of you seemed to be enjoying each others presence, he didnt know if you would want to actually go somewhere else with him.

“I didn’t bring my wallet with me or anything-”

“My treat,” He could care less about paying for you. He just didn’t want to go back to the house with everyone else just yet. When you nodded your head, he began to walk back the way you came but you were suprised when he stopped by the curb. You saw him take some keys out of his pocket and you looked where you are only to find yourself next to a white jeep. He moved closer to it and opened up the door for you. You hadn’t even heard a car before he got there.

“Thank you,” You blushed and got in. As he closed the door behind you, you hoped the cold would make your blush blend in.

Rather than taking you to some starbucks like you had expected, he took you to a rather small coffee shop that had a very homey feel to it. There wasnt that many people in there and it took you by surprise when he took your hand in his and lead you to one of the back tables away from the door. After asking what you wanted, he left to go order your drinks leaving you thinking about what was happening. What was happening? You just met this guy, he built you a dresser, gave you his jacket and is now currently buying you a coffee.

When he came back, he slid your drink over to you and watched with a smile as you grabbed the mug to warm up your hands. He just met you and he already liked taking care of you. For a few minutes you two just sat together enjoying each others company. Just as he was about to tell you something, this girl came up to the table.

“I’m so sorry, I know you don’t like being bothered when youre eating but could I get a picture please?” This poor girl looked like she was scared he might actually say no.

“Sure, of course.”

“Do you want me to take it for you?” You asked her. While you still didn’t know much about what Ethan did with his brother, but apparently enough people knew about them to be asking for pictures. You thought it was kinda sweet.

“Yes please,” she handed her phone to you and both of you stood up from the table so you could take the picture. Once you finished, you handed it back to her and she thanked you both before leaving.

“You know you probably just made that girls entire week right? She looked so excited to meet you,” While you had been happy for this girl, Ethan seemed somewhat closed off.

“Hey, whats wrong?” Did you do something wrong?

“Nothing, just- are you almost done so we can go?” He kept looking around and wasnt really looking at you anymore. After a small “yeah” from you, he stood up and was already walking towards the door. Quickly getting up you followed him out only to find him already in the car.

The car ride was quiet and tense to say the least. While you two had been in silence before, then it was nice and comforting, now it felt like you were in the car with you mom after she just finished yelling at you.

“Ethan? Did I do something?” You asked quietly, scared of what his answer would be.

“Fuck, I shouldnt have brought you with me. Everyone is gonna see me with you now.” He exhaled while running a hand through his hair.

Okay. That hurt a bit. Maybe you had been reading this entire situation wrong. Just because you were used to shitty guys, you shouldnt have assumed the first guy to treat you nicely had a thing for you. Feeling completely stupid and embarrassed you turned away to the window.

“Wait, I didnt mean it like that-” He tried to correct himself once he realized how bad that came out. But it was too late. You had just arrived back at the house and you were already out of the car before it was even completely parked. In his rush to catch up with you, he failed to notice the other car in the driveway that wasnt there when he left. You were already back inside looking for James, not noticing there was someone else in the house.

“James, give me my wallet. Now. Please.” He rushed to get up and get it from his room. He’s seen you upset and knew this was how you were when you were hurt. Coming back downstairs, he noticed you were now in Ethans jacket and couldnt help but smile. He gave it over to you and watched as you angrily took out some cash.

“Here. Give this back to your brother and tell him thanks for the coffee.” You shoved off the jacket and threw it at Grayson along with the money. You knew it wasnt his fault and you shouldnt have been rude to him, but you were upset.

“What did Ethan do? Ive been trying to call him but he wasnt picking up.” You heard a voice behind you that you didnt recognize. There was now a girl in the house that wasnt there before. Why couldnt James ever tell you when other people were coming over?

“Emma? I texted you I would go over later-” Ethan finally caught up with you and cut himself off when he saw you were also in the room.

“Y/N, let me explain-” You shook your head and kept your gaze down, not wanting anyone to see the tears beginning to form. You ran into your room and shut the door behind you. How could you actually think a guy that nice would like you? Ian and James shared a look, the younger brother following you up to your room to check on you. While he didnt know what was happening, he could tell you were upset and struggling.

“Dude, what did you do?” Grayson was confused. You two were gone for awhile and seeing you come back in his brothers jacket made him think that maybe the feelings his brother had were mutual. However, you barging into the house, throwing said jacket at him and refusing to look at him made him think something went wrong.

“I sort of said we shouldnt have been seen in public together..” He knew how much of an asshole it made him sound. But he didnt mean it like that. He still didnt know much about you but he knew once the fans found out he was with someone things would go downhill.

“YOU SAID WHAT?” James yelled from his spot on the couch. Both boys flinched at the sudden loudness and heard a crash from upstairs. Ethan moved to go upstairs and check on you, not knowing what happened but he was blocked by James.

“Oh no. You’ve done enough, thanks.”

“I didnt mean it come out like that, I swear! We were just out and someone came up for a picture and I dont know how long they were there before, okay? If they took pictures then theres going to be even more rumors going around. Emma and I cant even go out somewhere without Gray and people just assume we’re dating. You see how much hate Emma gets for being around us, I just didnt want that happening to her. I actually like her, like a lot. No offense, but Emma can take the hate, shes used to it and doesnt care at this point, but still I dont want her dealing with that. Theyre probably going to find out everything about her and she’s going to lose all privacy she had just because they saw her with me.”

James softened after Ethan finished explaining. He understood where he was coming from but it definitely could have been handled better. It also didnt help that you got hurt so easily after everything that has happened. He was about to speak again, when he saw you rush through the front door again, Ian following you down the stairs. Ian held up your wallet for James to see that you didnt take it with you, knowing James still had your keys.

“Where is she going? Is she okay?” About to follow you, once again, Ethan moved from his spot towards the door. Ian was quick to grab him the arm a little rougher than necessary and stopped him.

“That’s not a good idea, she needs to be alone right now.” While he did consider Ethan a friend, you were like a sister to him and knowing that Ethan was the reason you got set off upset him. Both Ian and James knew where you were going and knew you needed a moment so they werent worried.

The twins and Emma were still confused but chose to leave it. They knew how loyal James and Ian could be with those they cared about and knew they wouldnt be getting any more information out of either of them. Ethan, however still had another question.

“Emma, what are you even doing here?” He turned back to face her. He also barely realized that you hearing him tell her he would be going over tonight didnt help the situation.

“Well neither of you were answering your phone so I texted James and he said to just come over. I wanted to talk about the video for today before we actually film it. And I kinda wanted to meet her, James had told me she finally moved in and I thought it could be nice having another girl around.” While she did feel a little bit bad that her being there made the situation worse, it wasn’t her fault.

“You can meet her another time, but I think its better if you all leave right now. Not trying to kick you out, but this is her house too and she should be able to come home not worrying about having to deal with something she doesnt want to.” James wanted this day to be over. Things had been going so well with everyone and now he was just exhausted.

A few hours later you came back to a quiet house. The jeep and other car were missing so you could only assume everyone else left already. You knew James would want to talk about what happened today so you went to get changed. If you were going to be getting emotional you would rather do it in some sweatpants rather than skinny jeans you could hardly move in. Once you changed, you headed over to James room.

“Let’s talk, kitty. What happened?” He moved over so you could get under the blankets with him. You two had always been close before the move and nothing had changed.

“I dont know. I just, it was a bit much for one day. And I know I just met him and hes your friend, but I just thought he liked me, ya know? When we were talking alone earlier, it felt normal. It felt safe and it was nice. You know how long its been since any guy has treated me like a regular person. He gave me his jacket at the park, he even bought me a coffee and he was so sweet to this girl at the shop.” He watched as you talked about Ethan with a smile on your face.

“I dont know what happened though. Did I say something wrong? Everything was going so good between us then all of a sudden he couldnt wait to leave, he didnt even wait for me and was in the car before I got out of there. He didn’t say a single thing to me the whole ride back other than that he shouldnt have taken me with him, and that hurt. It reminded me of being back home how no guy would want to be seen with me after…. you know, and then coming back here and seeing he has a girlfriend made me feel so stupid. I should have known just because he was nice to me, that didnt mean anything it just meant he wasnt an asshole.” You signed and laid down next to your best friend. It felt nice getting it all out.

“Not that I dont trust you babe, but you didnt-”

“No, no, god no. I promised I wouldnt and I’m doing better, I really am. I just met up with someone to talk and make sure everything stayed on track for me. I would have told you if I did.” You didn’t want to worry your friend about that. You made a promise when he let you move in with him and you werent about to break it.

“Okay, good. I, we, worry about you sometimes.” He moved closer to you and thats how you ended up with your head basically on his lap. “Can I tell you something?” You nodded your head as he played with your hair.

“He does like you, you know. Ethan is, mmm not good, with expressing his emotions that well. He’s doing his best. And he and Emma aren’t dating by the way. Just friends, theyre too similar. If they were left alone for too long they would annoy each other to death. And he told me about what he said and babe, he didnt mean it like that. It sounded bad yes, but he meant well.” Sitting up, you leaned on your arm to look at James as he spoke.

“So him and Grayson have a pretty big fan base. Theyre used to the attention and sadly the lack of privacy. Theyre used to people taking sneaky pictures of them and when those pictures get out people like to start rumors. Everyone literally thinks he’s been dating Emma in secret for the past few months because they went shopping together and someone took a picture of them. Since then, Emma has gotten so much hate from their fans saying horrible things about her. All over a few pictures. Emma literally does not care about it, but he just didnt want that happening to you. It’s made him a little paranoid. He didnt want pictures of you two together getting out and people saying things about you because he cares about you. I dont know why, considering youre so annoying and forced him make your furniture.”

“Shut up! You’re the one invited them without telling me,” you smacked his arm, satisfied when he let out a small “ow.”

“Really though, you should talk to him. Or let him talk to you because I dont know what went on when you two were alone, but that boy is gone. He was ready to follow you out that door again when you left. And let me tell you sister, when you’ve got one of the Dolan’s after you, you dont pass down that opportunity. If he was coming after me, I would gladly let him-”

“And I’m gonna stop you right there sis, I get the picture. Thanks for putting that in my head.” You cringed and shook your head to get that image out of your head.

“I’m just saying-”

“No, nope I get it. Good talk James, I’m glad we get to share these special moments together but thats enough for the day.” Laughing, you got out of the bed and started to make your way back to your room. Just as you reached the door, you stopped and turned around.

“James?” He looked up for you to continue.

“Could you give me his number?”

A/N: part 4 will be out soon... any ideas on what shes hiding?

#Dolan twins #Ethan Dolan #ethan dolan imagine #dolan twins imagine #grayson dolan #dolan twins fanfic #fic #mine #Clean

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martini-shaken-not-stirred · 7 years ago

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Hybrid AU (Yoonseok/Sope) Part 2

//Part 1//Part 3//Part 4//Part 5//

Genre: Fluff + slight angst

Ship: Hoseok x Yoongi

Warnings: Abuse into more depth, a bit of angst

Words: 1931

“So your name is Min Yoongi.”

The black cat hybrid rolled his eyes once but nodded. “You did your research then, Hoseok.” Yoongi stated bluntly. Hoseok took a cautious seat on the floor opposite him, but not too close to startle Yoongi. “Yes, you’re very mysterious Yoongi so i wanted to know more about you.” Yoongi shot Hoseok a look of disgust and confusion, “What why?” Hoseok chuckled at the hybrid and twiddled with his thumbs. “Well you’re very different from the other hybrids I’ve seen. You’re intriguing.” Yoongi’s eyes softened at the compliment. “Are you adopting me then?” Hoseok once again chuckled at the hybrids abruptness. “Well I’ve had the background check from Park Jimin already, he trusts me, all i have to do is sign some forms, then yes.”

Yoongi bit his lip and studied the man sat in front of him. It always started like this, they’d act nice to win your trust then treat you like shit because you’re different. Yet, Yoongi’s instinct told him that Hoseok was different. He was well spoken, very well dressed and his face displayed a soft, comforting smile and he spoke smoothly to Yoongi. “Okay.” He muttered a quiet response. Hoseok grinned wider, and motioned for Jimin to come over. Hoseok watched Yoongi’s figure grow smaller at the approaching man. “Hoseok, are you sure you want to adopt Min Yoongi.” Jimin gave the man a nervous smile. “Yes, I’m determined, I’m sure i can break him out of his shell.” Yoongi remained quietly surprised at the mans persistence and couldn’t understand why he would want to adopt him other than for personal gain. “Okay if you’re sure, you can always return him if he gets too much, but otherwise come and sign some papers.”

Yoongi watched as Jimin and Hoseok walked off making small talk. He started to nervously play with his tail as flashes of past “nice” owners raced through his mind. Hoseok only wanted to use him, he was sure of it. Yet, Yoongi felt oddly comfortable in the man’s presence although would never admit to it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s not a great apartment, but it should do.” Hoseok unlocked the door and welcomed Yoongi in. His eyes perked up at the openness and modern style of the penthouse. “Let me show you to your room.” Hoseok led Yoongi down through the lounge into a corridor with three doors. “ The door on the left is my bedroom, the door at the end of the corridor in the middle is the bathroom and the last door is your room.” Hoseok gave Yoongi a warm smile and ushered him towards his new room. Yoongi carefully opened the door and his pupils dilated at the size of the room. “You can redecorate however you want, it’s quite bare as no one really stays often.” Yoongi nodded and turned to Hoseok shyly. “Thank you, Hoseok.” His small voice brighten Hoseok’s smile as he patted his arm, “I’ll let you get settled in I’ll just be in the lounge, although it’s my day off i still have work to catch up on.” Yoongi nodded as Hoseok left him to explore the room. It had an ensuite bathroom, one large glass window, a decently sized double bed, with two bedside tables either side and a big walk-in wardrobe. Yoongi felt especially small as he sat crossed-legged on the bed taking in his new room and his new life with his excitable owner.

He tugged at his clothes and felt embarrassed to be wearing such rugged clothes with someone who clearly had a lot of money and dresses extremely well. Yoongi got off the bed and made his way into the lounge where he saw Hoseok on the sofa, feet up with a laptop resting on his lap and was typing furiously. Yoongi made a little cough to alert Hoseok of his presence. “Oh Yoongi, what can i do for you?” He put the laptop aside and gave the cat all his attention. “I don’t have any clothes besides what I’m wearing.” Yoongi said hiding his hands in his sleeves. “Oh of course, let’s go shopping!” Hoseok said jumping to his feet startling the cat hybrid. “I’ll give you a hat so you can hide your ears.” Yoongi shrugged and waited as Hoseok brought him a beanie. “Oh and we can get rid of that too.” Hoseok said as he took off Yoongi’s collar. Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows but Hoseok shook it off. “You’re not a pet you’re my equal and a friend, you don’t need a collar.” Yoongi remained speechless and rubbed at his neck whilst muttering a quiet ‘thank you’. “Now, let’s go!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So what kind of style do you like?” Hoseok asked Yoongi as he looked through racks of clothes. The hybrid shrugged and looked around nervously at all the people walking and browsing, he subconsciously moved closer to Hoseok. “Okay I’ll pick out some things that’ll suit you.” As Hoseok shopped, Yoongi couldn’t help but feel in debt to Hoseok, the man had just willingly freed him and was being call an equal. For the first time in his life Yoongi didn’t feel like someone’s pet or slave. But he was still wary, this so-called generous man could still turn.

Hoseok was filling up the car and heard Yoongi’s stomach growling. “You hungry?” Hoseok asked locking up the car. “No my stomach just wanted to say hi.” Hoseok rolled his eyes and got in the car. “I’ll make something at home.” Yoongi followed suit and sat in the passenger side. Hoseok was confused as to why Yoongi had a black collar, he was compliant he had quite a mouth on him but he hadn’t disobeyed yet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Here, it’s ramen and soybean sprout, i don’t really know what you like so i just made anything, I’m not the best cook, sorry if it’s bad.” Yoongi grunted a thank you and they started to eat the food in silence. Hoseok had many questions about Yoongi’s past but he didn’t want to push the hybrid or make him uncomfortable. “You want to say something, just say it.” Yoongi mumbled with a mouthful of food. Hoseok raised an eyebrow and continued, “You don’t have to talk about it, but what happened with your other owners?" Yoongi stopped eating and looked at Hoseok. "My first owner was a family of 4; two parents, two young children, i was 5 and they adopted me to keep their kids busy. They were shitty parents and let their children tug on my tail and "play” rough with me, they didn’t mean any harm but they had no sense to stop, so i ran away. From then i bounced between one abusive family to the next.“ Hoseok stopped eating to listen full heartedly to the hybrid. "That’s why they mark me down as disobedient because i don’t trust easily or "follow orders”.“ Yoongi finished and caught a glimpse at Hoseok who looked sympathetic. "I’m going to go to my room, the food was fine, thanks" Yoongi got up quickly and started to leave.

"Yoongi.” Hoseok stood up and Yoongi hesitantly turned around to face him with his eyebrow raised. “It won’t be like that here, you’re human too, i would never belittle you like that.” Yoongi was speechless and turned away from Hoseok, “Thank you Hoseok, means a lot.” Hoseok stared at him and smiled softly, “Also, you can call me hyung.” Hoseok went to clear away the plates but Yoongi coughed making him look back up. “Actually, I’m older than you.” Yoongi shuffled and walked back to his room. Hoseok stood stunned about the fact that the soft looking man was indeed younger than him.

“Hey Jimin, um could you send Yoongi’s information over? I just mistakenly asked him to call me hyung, i don’t want any more surprises.” Hoseok heard Jimin laugh through the phone, “Yeah I’ll come by later, how is everything? Yoongi not being too difficult I hope?” Hoseok paused. “Well, he hasn’t been difficult at all, he’s very blunt at times but he’s been fine, not deserving of that black collar, he just needed someone who can properly care about him.” Hoseok smiled as he described the hybrid. “That’s weird to hear, he was very uncooperative, rude, and wouldn’t listen to anyone. But, he’s seems to have taken to you which is good, we’ll talk more I’ll be round in a bit.” Hoseok said goodbye to Jimin and then saw a shadow disappear in the direction of Yoongi’s room. Hoseok walked towards his room and knocked timidly. “Yoongi? Hyung? You okay?” Yoongi slowly opened the door. “Mhm. Who were you talking to?” Hoseok was surprised that he could hear him talking from his room. “Oh uhh Jimin, he’s coming round later to drop something off.” Yoongi nodded. “I’m going to sleep, goodnight Hoseok.” Yoongi shut the door and Hoseok heard the sheets of the bed rustle. “Yeah night, hyung.” He said quietly and left the hybrid to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A knock at the door started Hoseok from his nap, he had fallen asleep whilst watching a film on the sofa. He rubbed his eyes and opened the door. There, stood Jimin smiling holding a folder in his arms. “Hi Hobi-Hyung, i got Yoongi’s information for you.” Jimin walked in and they both sat around the table. “I’d just like to warn you, Yoongi hasn’t had a good past with owners, and this file is very graphic of how they treated him and the physical images from abuse.” Hoseok’s smile fell but nodded and opened the file. Min Yoongi, age 24, male-cat hybrid. Timid, but can be violent if provoke, approach carefully. Hoseok scanned through the information and he gulped when it came to the 'Previous owners’ Mental, physical and sexual abuse. Neglect. Borderline slavery. Hoseok stopped reading and put down the file. “It won’t be like this at all when he’s here Jimin, I’ll care for him and love him and show him there’s still hope.” Jimin smiled fondly at the man. “I’m so happy for you Hoseok, you two can help each other change for the better.” He patted his shoulder and got up to leave. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay, have a drink?” Jimin shook his head politely, “No I’ve got to go home and sleep.” They laughed as Hoseok saw him out of the door.

Hoseok picked up the file and read over the painful words again, as he did, Yoongi walked into the lounge and looked down. “Don’t pity me.” Hoseok dropped the folder in surprise and pictures of an abused Yoongi fell out onto the floor. They both scurried to gather up the photos, both wanting to erase the image of him looking so weak and damaged. A tear fell from Yoongi’s eye as the memories flooded back, “Please don’t treat me differently, now you know how weak i am.” Yoongi said in a timid voice. Hoseok’s mouth gaped open and he shook his head, “I never would, you didn’t deserve any of this, it doesn’t make you weak, in fact you’re very strong having survived this.” Hoseok quickly pulled Yoongi into a hug. Not knowing what to do, Yoongi sat there whilst the younger male embraced him carefully, trying not to hurt him. “Sorry, i didn’t mean to, i just.” Hoseok stuttered a response as he pulled back in embarrassment. “It’s fine. Uh goodnight, again.” Yoongi left as quickly and quietly as he came, leaving Hoseok on the floor with shocking images from Yoongi’s past.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you so much for the positive response on the first part of this, it’s really encouraged me to continue 😄❤️❤️

#sope #yoonseok #bts #suga #jhope #hybrid!yoongi #hybrid!au #jungkook #jimin #taehyung #namjoon #seokjin

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imgilmoregirl · 7 years ago

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AO3 Link

Notes: This chapter was revised by the sweet beastlycheese.

I must say we have some changings in this half of the story and you'll notice that some danger is coming over Gold and Lacey from this chapter and on.

Chapter Eleven

By Monday, things had gotten incredibly awkward between Gold and Lacey. Both resented each other about the way their stupid arrangement had been settled and had established a weird and silent routine in which, they barely spoke during the day and devoted their nights to satisfying the other, before Lacey shamelessly dressed herself again and sneaked back to her bedroom. It was so wrong that it got her feeling worse than she ever had, even more than on the nights that she had got really drunk and passed out on the floor of Ruby’s house.

It was the end of the afternoon, the library was almost empty and Lacey was sat by the circulation desk with Jasmine by her side, both of them bored, as all the work had been done earlier and the only thing they had to do was to watch the time pass as they whispered a conversation.

“So, did Baden recover well?” Jasmine asked, doodling something in her mint-green notebook.

“Yeah, he was a little whiny on our last visit to the doctor, but she said that he could go back to school today, just he should avoid running and carrying heavy things around.”

Lifting her dark glance to her, Jasmine smiled widely. She loved children and unlike Lacey was always excited when kids came for the reading hour on Fridays, but if both of them agreed on something it was that Baden Gold was the cutest little boy in whole world.

“I’m happy to hear that.”

Lacey nodded, almost absently before placing a hand on her arm. “I don’t think I’ve ever properly thanked you for letting me use your car that day, but I’m really grateful.”

“I’m just glad that I could help somehow,” Jasmine said, still moving her pencil towards the paper. “So, what about you and Gold? Are you two together now?”

Exhaling a sigh, Lacey leaned back on the chair. Her high heels had been discarded a while ago, kicked under the desk so her swollen feet could get some rest, even though she hated the fact Gold was right about that matter and she was definitely giving up her heels soon. But she had been very angry with him for lots of stupid reasons lately, because she was extremely unhappy with their arrangement.

Of course, Lacey enjoyed sharing his bed and being satisfied in all ways she needed, but when the pleasure was gone all that she had left was his guilty expression and her broken heart. When had she become the kind of person that wished for real love she didn’t know, but she kept trying to convince herself that a good fuck was everything she needed to take from this. In other times, it would clearly be what she was there for, but now she knew that some awkward feelings were popping in between and making it impossible for her to delude herself.

“Very far from that,” Lacey answered with a sad shrug. “He proposed we’d be friends with benefits while I’m living with him.”

Jasmine blinked. “Really? He doesn’t seem to be that kind of man.”

“I thought it too, but if he wants to use me for a couple of months, then he’d better make it worth it,” she answered with a wicked grin. “I like being worshipped after all.”

Oh, God, who was she trying to trick? She was falling for Adam and every time his perfect calloused hands touched her body and made her come undone, she wanted to drown herself into him, but as arrogant a bitch as she was, Lacey wasn’t going to admit it. She was actually trying to find a solution that would mend her life after the damage that being parted from Gold would cause, but she didn’t like her options at all.

“Don’t you want a real relationship, Lacey?” Jasmine questioned.

Worrying at her lip, Lacey looked up to the ceiling. “I used to think that this wasn’t for me.”

“And it changed?”

Placing a hand to her belly, Lacey traced the blue fabric of her sleeveless blouse that showed part of her back, including her black bra that was very different from Jasmine’s modest clothes, clearly not something a mother-to-be should wear, but she didn’t give a damn for what people might thing of her. What she was thinking right now was what mattered, because the slightest possibility of leaving town to try a new start with that baby was something she was considering.

Lacey still thought that she wasn’t going to make a good mom, but each passing day she felt more connected with that small being inside, mainly after it started moving and its existence started to be something she couldn’t ignore anymore. Yes, she wanted the best for it and she knew that Gold was the one that could provide it and not her, but she couldn’t help the feeling of despair when she imagined the day the child would be born and taken from her.

“Do you know how to break a contract, Jasmine?”

“No,” the other woman said with a shake of her head.

“So, please,” she started harshly, “shut the hell up.”

Jasmine was about to retaliate against those words when the library’s bell jingled, alerting them that somebody had arrived, but none of the girls moved to see who it was until a short, bearded man with a scowl approached the desk.

“Excuse me, Lacey French?”

“Yes,” the blue-eyed woman confirmed, standing up. “And you are?”

“Leroy,” he answered, grumpily. “Bunny sent me here to tell you that your father owes him a great amount of money.”

Her father having debts didn’t sound like news for Lacey, but the fact that someone was willing to come to the library to bother her because off it certainly was, not that Lacey was betting he would take a great amount of time without her financial support, but yet she couldn’t anticipate it. Moe had once been the owner of successful flower shop, but he had lost it due to his horrific drinking habit and his lack of will to work, now he only got earnt cash when he got to sell some flowers he still cultivated in their backyard. But that wasn’t enough to survive on, even more if you were an alcoholic, uncappable of ridding yourself off your addictions.

“Bunny?” Lacey repeated, sceptically. “I’m sorry, is that even a real name?”

“No, obviously.”

“But, Bunny from where?” She questioned. “And how much does my father owe him?”

Leroy folded his arms. Despite his small stature, he should look threatening in everybody’s eyes with that frown marking his face and with that harsh way of speaking, but Lacey wasn’t one to fear every sullen guy that thought himself invincible.

“Bunny from The Rabbit Hole, the bar.”

“Of course, a fairy-tale named bar. I hate this town,” the brunette complained, moodily, before demanding: “How much?”

“Five hundred,” Leroy shrugged.

“He drank five hundred dollars?” Lacey gasped. Behind her, Jasmine made a choking sound at the information.

“So it seems.”

Five hundred dollars, she didn’t even know if she had that amount of money in the bank and if she did and used it to pay for her father’s debt at the bar, then Lacey would have nothing for the rest of the month.

“God, I hate my life,” she whispered.

“Listen up, sister, I hate to see a woman with such horrible problems, much more one in your condition, but Bunny is warning you, before things get darker,” Leroy warned, eyes fixed on her swollen middle-section. “Watch out, for your own child’s sake.”

Narrowing her eyes, Lacey took a dangerous step closer, challenging him with her glance, as she lifted her chin and covered her stomach with both hands in a protective gesture. “Is that a threat?”

“I’m not the one making it, lass, I’m actually hating to be here, but just like your father, I also owe Bunny something,” Leroy said with brief nod. “Goodbye.”

He turned around and left the library. Jasmine stood up, placing a hand to Lacey’s shoulder.

“What are you going to do?”

“They want money?” she murmured harshly, grabbing her purse and pulling back her high heels. “They will get it, but I’ll show them that nobody threatens Lacey French first.”

No one threatened Lacey French, without receiving a rude answer back, no one.

She didn't have a car and The Rabbit Hole was very far away from the library, which resulted in her feeling extremely tired, when she finally reached it. Her whole body was sore, her feet aching, smashed inside her heeled shoes and she had to take a time outside the bar to calm down her breath and recompose herself before she entered. That was when a sensation of déjà vu hit her, because Lacey had been in that place before, although she was too disoriented that night to notice the name of the bar, but she definitely recognised the place now.

It was here that she met Adam Gold. Her heart raced, her courage of doing what she came there for, weakening. Lacey had to take another deep breath, looking carefully around before going to the counter and waving a hand to call the attention of the chubby barman that was cleaning some glasses behind it.

"What can I get for you, girl?"

"I'm looking for Bunny," Lacey informed.

The man grinned stupidly. "I'm Bunny."

"Lacey French," she presented herself in an impassive tone, not daring to get too close to the counter, a hand firmly wrapped around her purse’s handle. "You sent an arrogant dwarf to threaten me and my unborn child, if I didn't pay for my father's debt."

The understanding of who she was shined in his eyes and, taking a better look at the woman in front of him, Bunny only appeared to get more pleased with the situation, but he tried to keep serene and only shrugged mindlessly.

"Some people need to run the business."

Rolling her eyes, Lacey opened her purse and took an envelope from inside there, which contained the money she had quickly got out of the bank before going there. She threw it on the counter between them with a dangerous look in her blue eyes.

"Five hundred, as you asked," Lacey bounced as Bunny opened it to verify that she was telling the truth. "Now sell another drink to my father and that will be your problem, because I won't give another cent for you to keep this shitty place open."

"You were here the other night, so I bet that it was not so shitty then," Bunny mumbled and dared to add: "I've heard it was Mr. Gold that knocked you up. Was that planned?"

"Excuse me?"

"He is the richest man in town, it couldn't have happened by accident," the barman accused. "You'll get a lot of easy money by having his kid."

She had to bite down her tongue not to let a whole number of curses to leave her mouth, not because she wasn’t the kind of person that would let an offense pass by, and Bunny might not look dangerous at all, but she was pretty sure that if he ruled that Leroy guy, he probably had a lot more bad guys watching his back. And for the sake of the baby she owed Gold, she better not anger him too much.

"Bunny, you should go down the damned hole and mind your own business."

Turning around, Lacey aimed at the door, walking straight to it, eager to leave that place to never come back, that was when she felt that somebody was following her, causing her heart to skip a beat.

"Look, who do we have here," a soft accented voice said from behind her. "Hello, love."

She looked over her shoulder to find Milah’s lover standing there all dressed in black like a ridiculously drunk phantom of the night. "This must be a joke."

"I thought pregnant women should not drink," Killian Jones mumbled with the most awkward kind of smile on his face.

He was smelling of tequila and cheap beer, his fingers curled around a glass of what she thought to be whiskey, those blue eyes surrounded by some amount of make-up that a man should never be allowed to wear. The guy was almost stumbling over his own feet and dared to judge her for coming here.

"I thought mothers should care for their children, especially after surgery," Lacey retorted. "Tell Milah she is doing a great job."

Killian took a shaken step in her direction and grabbed her arm with strength, dragging Lacey as close as he could without her trying to free herself.

"Why don't you entertain me a little, love? My car is outside and I have some cash for you."

Before she could think twice about what she was doing, Lacey slapped his face and kicked his knees making him pull away immediately. "I'm not a whore, you son of a bitch!"

She ran outside and hid herself in an alley, looking for her cell phone as some tears fell down from her eyes. Lacey hated this, she hated guys like Killian and it was probably because of them that she found herself unable to believe that true love could exist. It got her afraid of giving herself to someone that was only meaning to use her, so she always preferred to believe that everybody was.

The brunette typed the known number quickly and lifted the phone to her ear, waiting impatiently until he finally picked up.

"Adam?"

"Lacey?” He returned, startled by her broken voice. “You're crying?"

"Can you get me?” She pleaded. “I'm outside The Rabbit Hole."

Gold didn’t ask her why or made any other questions, he only told her to wait and that he would soon be there and rang off the phone. Lacey tried to compose herself, never leaving the alley, until she saw the Cadillac park in front of the bar and moved to walk towards it, opening the passenger’s door and setting herself inside. Adam looked at her from the corner of his eyes, waiting for her to give him any explanation, but when she didn’t he turned to face her, laying a hand on her bare knee.

"What were you doing in there?"

"My father owed five hundred to the owner," she mumbled, defeated.

"Oh, sweetheart,” he waved his head. “Why didn't you call me? I could have come here and payed for it, so you wouldn't have to."

Lacey didn’t answer, she only let some tears drop from her eyes and crossed her hands above her bump, gathering courage to look at him and ask: "Do you think I signed that contract because of money?"

"No! Why?" He questioned with a puzzled face. "Our contract says nothing about money."

She breathed in, mindlessly petting her belly, but Lacey might not be noticing what she was doing, however Adam was and he let a smile play on his lips as he watched that tiny gesture.

"Once I give birth, I'm homeless,” Lacey explained. “Father evicted me from our house."

"Lacey..."

Shaking her head, she made his words die before he could pronounce them, her face was so sad and she looked so lost that all the progress of the last couple of months seemed to have gone to waste, because Lacey was drowning in bitterness again.

"Everybody thinks I'm a selfish bitch who is interested in your money," she admitted.

"But you're not,” he guaranteed, rubbing her skin, “and I know it, alright?"

"Whatever."

Lacey knew that she had been rude, but she couldn't help herself, that was her all the way, always saying the wrong thing, always being cruel with the people that didn't deserve it. However, he merely ignored her, starting to drive the way back home, without saying another thing, but as usual, their proximity in the car, made Lacey's mind feel connected to him again and the need to speak took over her.

"Adam," she started, asking for the permission to get into a conversation after being so rude.

"Aye?"

"I - " Lacey swallowed. "I saw Milah's lover at The Rabbit Hole, Killian. Completely drunk, saying nonsense things."

Gold caught a breath, gripping at the steering wheel more firmly. "Was she there too?"

"No."

Hugging her purse, Lacey looked at the town standing in front of them as the car advanced. Adam thought that she looked so young that it was wrong for him to keep having her every single night in his bed. He was still a little mad to know that she didn't want things to change between them even after they started to be lovers, but he cared for her and if it wasn't for the fact that he knew that he would be rejected, he would have assured her that she would never be homeless and that he would always provide for her.

He was crazy in love with this woman. But Adam was also madly angry with his ex-fiancée and the things she had been doing lately and these thoughts filled his mind, causing his jaw to tighten.

"I worry about Baden," Gold confessed, "he is always asking for her."

"Milah..." Lacey muttered, almost with hatred. "It is a pity that she doesn't give him the attention he deserves. You have an amazing kid."

He nodded in agreement, knowing that he was indefinitely blessed for having such a good boy as Bae, always charismatic and lovely with everybody, accepting so well to have Lacey living with them and giving him a sibling. Adam loved his son to the moon and back, just like he would love the child that was yet to come.

"I don't know what she has in her mind, but I wanted her to at least care for him as much as she should," Gold sighed. "I wanted him to have the happy childhood I never had."

"He has you," the brunette pointed out, "and maybe that's enough, because your love for that boy is immense. You're the best father I know."

He glanced briefly at her with a smile playing on his lips and he couldn't manage to say how much he felt grateful for what she had just said. "Thank you, Lacey, I think I needed to hear that."

Gold received an equally sweet grin from her and feeling a lot better than they did for days, the two of them, headed home.

#rumbelle #rumbelle fic #mine #writing #rumplestiltskin #belle french #lacey french #golden lace #baelfire #neal cassidy #ao3 #fanfic

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btsjeonjazz · 7 years ago

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No decency II Pt.1

There were two things you despised in your current situation. The first thing accrued to be that your mom decided to move in with her new husband. The second one was that playboy number one Jeon Jungkook turns out to be your new stepbrother. As your parents spontaneously go on vacation you and Jungkook have to deal with the building tension between the two of you until an upcoming house party leaves you panting underneath him.

genre: stepbrother!jungkook, dom!jungkook, smut

word count: 9.8k

The music was loud enough to wake you up. With a tired hand you grabbed your phone from your night stand to see that it was just six in the morning. At least two hours of your holy sleep got taken and it made you furious. Who the hell was that ignorant to think of getting ready with such an amount of noises at this time of day. Sure thing it had to be Jeon Jungkook. Your dear new stepbrother whom you knew was the iconic playboy of your college had no decency. It was not the first time such a morning was presented to you.Groaning you tried to open your eyes against the light of your phone while shoving the warm sheets off your body. Heavy steps followed as you dragged yourself to the bathroom across your bedroom. It turned out that the suspect had forgotten to close the door so that the music flowed around the floor to your own bedroom. It was too much for you and this is why you just stormed inside. Why had he to fuck your mind at this rate? Your sleep was something you treasured and now you will not be able to get it soon. “The fuck! Jungkook! Turn the fucking volume down before I kill you”, you shouted brows furrowed with anger. But just at this moment your eyes accustomed to the bright light of the bathroom’s lamp. Shock traced your tired features. Jungkook looked at you with confusion and amusement as he saw why you were so shook. Your own fault for barging in on another person as he took a shower, he thought. One of his hands pulling up the towel around his waist a grin spread across his face.

“Y/n, don’t you think it’s rude to barge in on me after taking a shower?”, his low teasing voice filled the room, “If you really want to get a glance at my naked body you just have to ask. I won’t refuse such a wish of my cute little stepsister.”

Avoiding your gaze from his toned chest and those delicious looking abs was not an easy task. This is why you stared at him with wide eyes while his dark wet hair caused drops of water to fall onto his naked torso. A loud gulp was heard whereas Jungkook turned his body in your direction. Not even the small towel could hide what lay underneath it. The piece of cloth hung loose on his hips so that the outline of a light path of hair was left at the hem of it. Your eyes traced it only for a short time but long enough for him to notice.

“Like what you see?”, Jungkook’s voice got an octave lower. You seemed not to realize the missing distance that separated your bodies before his voice woke you from your trance.

“Fuck off, okay? Just turn this shitty music off. Have you no decency?”, you said, turning on your heels. “Better try to adapt in this family or you get a beating.” Those were the words before you pulled out the plug of his music box.

Jungkook clearly was amused as he watched your actions. He developed a thing for your little outburst the last few weeks. Low giggles escaped his throat:“How would she even try to beat me?”

Fuming you tried to get some more sleep but it was impossible. After discovering Jungkook half naked with droplets of water running down his perfect chest your thoughts hung upon this picture. Sparks of the moment appeared every time you closed your eyes wherefore you decided to go through your stuff for the upcoming exam. Concentrated work distracted you from the images of your stepbrother until your mother called for breakfast.

Slowly you got downstairs turning around as you saw that he appeared right behind you. Without saying anything your movements got faster. You would not deal with him twice a day. Jungkook only grinned at you actions. He knew that it would not be long before he would have you, he was sure about that. Right after meeting you he planed to crush your daily life and your oh so holy pretending of a happy family. Therefore he just had to wait for the right opportunity to catch you.

“Sit down, we have to announce something”, your mother made sure that you both had your breakfast as she and her husband sat across the two of you. “As you both know your dad and I didn’t have a chance to go on our honeymoon. Please, y/n, before you say something let me speak. A few days ago we booked a flight for two weeks to Australia. This means we have to speak about some rules while we are gone.”

Shock washed over you. Was she for real right now? They wanted to go on vacation, sure thing, but this meant for you and Jungkook to be alone for two whole weeks? Disbelief sneaked up to you face as you stared at your mom. There was no way you would both survive those weeks. Neither he would be thrown out by you or killed. Another option was just impossible.

“But this is wonderful! We will get along so well, don’t worry”, Jungkook spoke while laying his arm around your shoulders. Your natural instinct was to wiggled his arm down but to your surprise he gripped you even harder. “We won’t stand in your way if you want to have a romantic holiday.”

The boy’s eyebrows shot up while winking at your parents. Even your mom’s cheeks flushed at his actions. Was there anybody you could resist his charms? Satisfying enough, there was you.

“To be honest, we would fly even without your blessings my son”, his father interfered with a slight smile. “But you two have to follow some rules if you don’t want to be left with your grandma beside you.”

The boy next to you stiffened. It seamed he would never allow his father to organise some sort of babysitter for him.

“First parties”, he continued, “Throw them but if anything precious is shattered or some of your friends touch my car I will chop your heads off. Second cleaning. Just make sure that after we are back our house is sparkling.”

“We even made a list for the things you have to do. And y/n, if you want to use the pool, there is an annual on how to use the pump…”

After your breakfast you were more exhausted than this early morning as Jungkook woke you up. All the instructions were written down by your parents. It would have been so relaxing if there were not the hot dork you were forced to live with. Why had your parents allowed to throw parties in the first place? You knew there would not be a single evening without a huge amount of salacious girls and drunken boys running around the house. Even now you could feel how a headache loomed behind your forehead. On your way to your lecture you could hear how footsteps approached you.

“Y/n, just so you know let them have their awaited honeymoon”, a low voice began to speak. Your own eyes rolled up you stopped.

“You know what? I don’t even care just don’t get on my fucking nerves while they are gone”, your tone showed how annoyed you actually were. You really did not care if they were gone but you wanted a little peace from him even if it was just in college. That was the reason why you resumed your path to the huge building in front of you.

“Why so prickly”, a laugh followed, “I don’t want anything from you. But a few guys will be sleeping over for some days.”

With that he was gone. Could this day be any more worse? First you woke up at six in the morning, found Jungkook in the bathroom, your parents wanted to leave you with this womaniser and now you had to deal with guys you never got to know in your own house? Yes, it was definitely a headache you had.

“But y/n that is so damn awesome, what is your problem?”, Mina, your best friend, stated as you told her how you had a horrible morning. Even the news that occurred to be a nightmare to you let her light eyes sparkle. She had a thing for Jungkook and his friends unlike you even though you both knew that they played on another league as the two of you. They would never mind toying with the feelings of other girls. You knew Jungkook as well as his buddies had some kind of reputation as the hottest but most dangerous guys on the campus. You were even sure that they had more than half of the female population in bed.

“Don’t you get it, Mina? If my mom is gone I will be the one who has to look after all the mess he and his friends will make of our house. This is why I’m so pissed.”

Mina looked at you a half worried half excited expression on her face. The green grass you sat on quiet warm as you ran your hands over it nervous. In your head there were countless situations you were sure would be present in no time why you were uneasy and tried to find solutions before such things might happen.

“Y/n, I will be by your side. Let me stay at your house as long as his friends stay and everything will turn out to be alright, yeah?”, she tried to calm you down but you knew she just wanted to come over to spy on Jungkook.

“Promise me that you won’t play dirty tricks to get closer to them!”

A sneaky grin appeared on her face. Her green eyes sparkling brighter than before. “Oh you have no idea.”

The rest of your break you discussed on how you were able to make his life as hard as possible. After talking to Mina your head felt a little lighter because you knew you would not have to stand alone against the boys that would be at your house this evening. If you had known that this was just the smallest of your problems.

“So just be careful and protect your stepsister, Jungkook”, were the last words of your parents who waved at you through the window of your mom’s car. A fake smile plastered on both your faces you also waved them goodbye for their long awaited vacation. The foul feeling that spread through your body as you watched how their car left only got worse while you heard Jungkook laugh next to you.

“What’s so funny?”

“Y/n, you need to chill. Seriously I’m not gonna eat you”, the boy started with a flashy smile that showed his bunny teeth. If you would not know better you would have sort of it as pretty cute, “Unless you want me to eat you out.”

This guy was too much. With loud footsteps you marched back inside.

“For real leave me alone you dork”, you stated, “Mina is coming over so stay with the guys in your room. Unless you want me to kill you.”

“Copying someone phrases is a sign for adoration”, Jungkook grinned back at you an eyebrow pulled up.

“Just shut up.”

“Ah y/n, just so you know. Friday we throw a party. Your appearance Is highly appreciated. And your friends as well, so join us”, the good looking boy told you with a final glance in your direction before he went towards the garage. “Going to buy some stuff for over the weekend.”

You said nothing. At least the parties did no begin today or tomorrow. So you had time to prepare where to sleep because you did not want to stay when he partied with his friends and countless drunken girls who threw themselves at him.

Around evening the bell rang for the first time. In hopes that it was Mina who you thought was punctual one time it was not her as you opened the front door. The sight in front of you left you quite speechless. A boy your age maybe one or two years older stood at your entrance, some bottles of liquor in his hands. His hair had the colour of a light orange that perfectly fit his taint. His clothes were simple, a white shirt, black ripped jeans and black boots. Just the light blue leather jacket was what caught your eye except for the handsomeness of the guy. Confused dark eyes looked down on you as you just stood there in awe.

“Uhm..”, he cleared his throat and glanced at the address as well as your last name. “Isn’t Jeon Jungkook living here?”

Perplexed you shook yourself. So this freaking beautiful guy is one of the fuck boys Jungkook invited over? Another term was just not fit for his friends.

“Yes”, was the only word you spoke before pointing at the white staircase behind you. “Last door at the right.”

The boy’s eyebrows shot up. Jungkook had never mentioned that he actually had a sister. It was quiet a shock for him.

“I’m Jimin, sorry for the intrusion.”

Dumbfounded you nodded as he stepped in and smiled at you. Oh, he was attractive. The heart of yours began to race a little but before you could respond to Jimin a familiar voice was heard from above you.

“Hey Jimin!”

Annoyed you closed the door. Sure thing Jungkook would come run downstairs as he heard the voice of his best friend.

“Why have you never told me that you have such an adorable sister, Kookie?”, Jimin said while looking at you with dark eyes. Gulping you could not resist his gaze.

“Jimin y/n, y/n Jimin”, Jungkook pointed his hand towards you then to Jimin and back. Annoyance was heard through another feeling you could not grasp. “Nothing worth telling you.”

A little hurt you shrugged your shoulders: “He’s always like this. Maybe you should teach him some manners, Jimin.”

Jungkook stared at you in disbelief. You were in no position to say something like this in front of Jimin. He clenched and stuck out his jaw but before he could give you a heavy remark Jimin cleared his throat again.

“Guys chill out. We will go upstairs, Kookie”, the orange haired boy suggested. One last nod in your direction he pushed Jungkook in the direction of the staircase the boy came running down a moment ago.

“Dude, why have you never told me that after your dad’s marriage, you had to live with such a hottie?”, Jimin whispered in the boys ear as they strolled up the stairs.

“Don’t even think about it. She is off limits, understood?”, Jungkook’s voice was laced with a silent warning. As if to defend himself Jimin held his hands up.

“A little flirt is allowed, isn’t it?”

Jungkook closed the door behind him. “If I see you toying with her I’m going to rip that dick of yours out.”

With that the boys dropped the theme of you and began to plan the party they wanted to throw two day from now on.

It was nearly six as Mina finally appeared. Two other times you opened the ringing door just so see that some guys you knew slightly visited. Taehyung and Yoongi, two especially dangerous guys were now staying in your stepbrother’s room. Unfortunately it made you nervous to know that four extremely hot but characteristically low guys were in the room next to you.

Mina and you had decided to watch some movie as your TV was huge. Popcorn and Soda spread across the coffee table while the newest action movie was presented on TV. You had told her who was also in here already but as you wanted to drop the topic she continue sly tried to hold it up. At ten you heard as loud footsteps approached the big living room. Hadn’t you told Jungkook to just leave you alone and stay with his friends in his room? He already planned a house party to which you not even complained about in front of him.

“Ladies, what are you watchin’?”, a gruff voice reached your ears. Taehyung stood right behind the sofa you sat on. His cologne filling the room immediately. As well as Jimin Taehyung and Yoongi were utterly handsome you had to admit. The boy had light brown hair that fell onto his forehead. His clothing style was rather special as he wore a shirt with Petit flowers and tight jeans to brown flaps. Taehyung smelled rich and looked rich. But his actions were quiet poor, you knew.

“You know the new Marvel movie?”, Mina prompted before you had the chance to speak.

“Are you for real? Did it begin just now? Mind if we join you?”

You gave Mina a glance that told her to shut up but as you knew her long enough she just smiled brightly at Taehyung: “Sit with us! We can just wind the movie back.”

Would it not be for the safety of your manners you would have asked her if she has lost her sanity but a second later you saw three other figures storming in the room. The boy seriously had no decency. Now the six of you shared the huge sofa of yours. Annoyed was not the right term to describe what you felt. More like a feeling of irritation and frustration at the same time. Even though the sofa of yours was one of the hugest Jimin, who sat next to you, leaned way too much on you. Not that you hated it. It made you nervous to the point you shifted your body in Minas on your right.

“Y/n, what the hell. I don’t wanna cuddle you!”, the black haired girl whispered.

“Me neither but put up with it”, you whispered back.

The handsome boy next to you had the nerve to lean in even closer. Just as you were about to ask what he wanted you felt his mouth dangerously close to your ear. His fragrance that was strong from the beginning filled your nostrils again.

“Y/n, don’t you like it?”, his melodious voice whispered into your ear.

You nodded to his surprise and leaned back immediately. Ah, he did not understand. You did like it too much but admitting it right in front of your stepbrother who stared at you two with a piercing gaze told you to hold back. Regret sneaked through you as you watched as Jimin sank down next to you.

“Jimin, I just think it is not so good in front of Jungkook”, you told him honestly.

“He doesn’t care, y/n. Believe me”, he smiled slightly as he leaned back in. His plump lips were so kissable, you thought. If you would not sit in front of his friends you would have no shame to do it. You knew what his character had to look like if he was best friends with your womanising stepbrother but a taste was a taste. So you also began to slip further next to Jimin. What other force was driving you? Because you pulled his head down so that he could hear you better.

“Are you here on friday, too?”, you asked in a whispered voice that was laced with a little excitement.

A small grin played around his lips: “Of course I am. Why do you ask?”

“With encouraging liquor we may hold an interesting conversation then”, you told him as he bit is plump red bottom lip. How you wanted to taste it.

“I hope you mean what I just understood”, he giggled eyes crinkled.

“Someone wanna grab a bite outside?”, Jungkook’s voice was pretty loud as he spoke. “The movie is over so let’s go, I’m hungry.”

To your surprise the movie was really over now. You had missed the last parts as you tried to find a good position next to Jimin and the few sentences you exchanged. The tension that was built between you two was as if it never existed as Jimin and the other guys stood up.

“Can you also buy me something?”, Mina asked but Jungkook was rushing out. “Guess this was a no.”

“See ya, y/n”, you heard Jimin who stood in the door, “I’m excited for friday.”

“Y-yeah”, you stuttered as you saw that Jungkook’s view was on his friend. And the expression on his face told you you had annoyed him for once as you flirted with his friend. Although Jimin was so damn hot you knew more than flirting was impossible. You were not as dumb as all the other girls that fell for their tricks. At least you thought you would be smarter than them but this aspect was destroyed as you did a grave mistake.

The next one and a half days later you and your best friend made yourself ready for the upcoming party you wanted to attend. Luckily you would not have to run around at night to get home because your stepbrother decided to throw one right were you lived. You already heard the boys who were preparing the technical things such as a fogging machine and the speakers. Food as well as plenty of alcohol was presented on a long counter the guys had set up in your living room. You did not know how many people were expected but at the amount of provisions a few. Jimin spent the last day at your house as well. The exchanged glances and short conversations made you quiver in excitement. Only the death wishing glances of Jungkook bothered you.

You found yourself in between a pile of clothes that Mina threw out of your closet.

“Can you stop throwing my stuff?”, you laughed as one of you tops hit your head.

“I wouldn’t have to throw it all out if you would have at least one fucking thing that doesn’t calls ‘mommy’s girl'”, Mina’s muffled voice came out of your closet. “How can you have a walk-in wardrobe without sexy clothes?”

Frustration pushed through her calm surface.

“In my opinion I have plenty of sexy dresses!”, you tried to defend your poor taste. “But why should I even wear something like this?”

Mina’s head popped up. “For real, y/n? You think you will ever catch someone’s attention if you dress like a grade schooler?”

You did not understand. Jimin was a flirt nothing more and except from him there was no one here who caught your attention. There is.., you shook your head. This thought should not come up again. “I guarantee you third will be slutty girls who are running around Jungkook”, a not expected bitterness was caught in your voice but you ignored it.

Your friend jumped out of her hideout. A seductive grin playing on her lips while unfolding the one piece of clothing you had hid in the last corner of your wardrobe.

“Forget it. I’m not weaning this”, you escalated whereas Mina held your arm. No escaping for you.

“It matches my own dress y/n, so chill out okay? You will look gorgeous.”

About an hour later you two were ready. Mina had done your make up, hair and even coaxed you into the outfit she had chosen. She herself wore a tight purple dress that ended a few inches above her knee. It suited her as she were a delicate girl with long black hair and light eyes. If the boys would not fly on her you would not believe in god any more. Although you knew that she was not an angel and had slept with numerous guys already she was so dear to you that you wanted to protect her like she protected you all the time. Her confidence had reached levels yours would never scratch at. And this was the reason why you tried to pull the way too short silk black dress down since Mina forced you into it. You found it too revealing because the back cut-out reached nearly to your coccyx as well as the shortness of its lengths. Anxiety flooded you while you thought that your butt might be shown to everyone in the room.

“Y/n, stop it. Nothing can be seen. Except for your legs, back and your boobs”, your best friend teased you. Nudging she threw her arm around your waist. “Let’s have fun. But give me the key to your parents bedroom. I will not fuck in here.”

Disbelief washed over your face to which Mina laughed even more than before. “A joke!”

“Do what you want but not in my room, Mina”, you warned but smiled at her.

The bass drowned the music as the both of you made your way downstairs. You had expected many people but the storm that filled your house was more than you would have conceded. Your eyes followed countless of girls and boys already drunk. Most of the female guests wore more revealing pieces of clothes than you had on with higher shoes than Minas. You both exchanged glances before laughing.

“Guess Jungkook knows how to party”, the black haired girl shouted next to your ear. A slight nod was all you could manage to do.

As you went from your living room to your garden more and more unfamiliar faces appeared before you. Maybe a hand full of girls and boys you could recognize but the rest were strangers you had never seen. They must be friends from the other guys, you guessed while walking further onto your terrace. Fortunately the pool still was untouched and you hoped this would be the case the whole time. Dancing people crossed your path as Mina and you made your way inside again. Neither Jungkook nor Jimin got in your sight so you decided to be the silent watcher at the moment. Mina went to grab some drinks before she joined you standing at the kitchen counter.

“Have you seen anybody familiar? How about the host? I have to tell him about the pool”, you raised your voice against the loud music. Instead of answering Mina shook her head.

As you waited for Jungkook to appear you girls drank a bit and started moving to the beats. The dance floor that contained the main space of your living room was overflowing with lascivious moving girls. Shouts of different groups of boys animated these female guests to move even slutty.

“Why are they degrading themselves like this?”, you shouted to Mina.

“Attention whoring”, her amused voice dragged it’s way to your own ears, “How about drinking this liquid courage and going down with the girls?”

You contemplated for a moment but decided to do as Mina said. Why not? You had not to roll your body down like them but a little dance session with your bestie was a nice idea. Swallowing the last sips of you courageous drink gave you enough confidence for going. The both of you run on the improvised dance floor all eyes on you girls. Maybe the female clients were rolling against each other but you and your friend had all the attention. Dancing like crazy Mina shouted at you what you unfortunately did not understand. But right that moment your gaze flew to a figure you hoped to see all evening. Jimin stood to your right side where you were just minutes ago. His orange hair stuck out of the mass just like the handsome boy beside him. Jungkook and Jimin seemingly flirting with a small group of girls. Of course he would not hold back even if he knew that you will be present at the party.

“Guess all the little allusion lead into nothing”, you say to Mina in a slightly disappointed tone. The girl followed your eyes and nodded sadly at you.

“Hadn’t expected nothing less from him, so it’s a'right”, you assured her with a wink.

To be pretty honest it was exactly what you had thought he would do anyway. He was Jungkook’s best friend so it was crystal clear that his actions would go in this direction. Better your rational judgement you caught yourself looking a few times his way. Of course he had his hands on two girls at the same time. Your head snapped around as you saw that his gaze scanned the room. To your satisfaction Jimin as well as Jungkook seemed bothered by something which caused a light smile to appear on your face.

“Y/n, I’ve seen some delicious looking guy at ten”, Mina wiggled her eyebrows, “Can I leave you for good reasons? I’ll be back in an hour.” With that, Mina danced her way around the other guests to get to her living destination. You had no doubts that she would wrap him around his little finger in no time so you turned on your heel to return to your previous place in the kitchen. A new drink was exactly what you needed although Jungkook and his friend were present, too. Unfortunately you have not seen anybody you knew enough to hang out with. So the alcohol was your friend for the next hour.

It was quiet difficult to find a way through the mass of people that stormed your living room. Mostly girls stood in your way but in no time you reached the kitchen. Kind of exhausted you searched for the next bottle of alcohol and found it at the top of your kitchen shelf. It was your mom’s husband’s expensive liquor you filled your glass with. Your first sip burned your throat but it was so good you did not mind. Satisfied you placed it back behind the cheaper bottles so that nobody would see it or try to snatch it away from you. Just as you were about to take another gulp someone pressed his body right into your own from behind. Perplexed you swallowed your drink a little too fast.

“How are you going to pay for something this expansive, Baby?”, a low melodious voice grazed your ear, “Why don’t you turn around to show me your beautiful face?”

What the hell, was he for real? You did expect Jimin or some stranger who would run straight to Jungkook to tell tales but he himself?

“Are you crazy?”, fuming you turned around as far as his body allowed you to, to see that shock traced the boy’s seductive features. Jungkook stood so damn near you that you could feel his breath on your face. His scent was laced with a strong cologne, alcohol and mint. Would it not be Jungkook who stood in front of you in his black shirt with tight black jeans and raven hair that fell softly on his forehead you would not mind getting closer to the boy. But it was not anybody. It was Jungkook.

“Oh fuck, y/n?”, disbelieving he stared down your body not moving an inch, “You look amazing!”

Compliments? Your eyebrows shot up. Was he that drunk already?

“I didn’t recognize you in this..man, this revealing dress”, Jungkook continued.

Flushed cheeks followed his words that seemed to be just a defence for his actions.

“Yeah, so, mind if you give me some space?”, your voice trailed off as he started to raise his hand to grab the bottle you have had in your hands. Leaning over you he picked up a glass and poured the liquidity in it.

“For real, y/n, since when are you having such a nice outfit? I didn’t know you were capable of pulling off such a sexy dress.”

As he would not move you tried to escape his warm body. It was too much for you. Not that he was one of the most annoying persons in your life, no, he also drove you crazy. The alcohol was not your saviour in this situation, you were sure.

“Jungkook, fuck off”, you scoffed, “I have not the nerves to deal with your so called compliments.”

Now you stood next to each other leaning against the counter of your kitchen. Then Jungkook moved in your direction to scan you again.

“Come on, I mean it. Sincerely, y/n”, he tried to calm you down, “I really did not know it was you or do you think I would flirt with you?”

His actions were suspicious. You have not figured out in what way but there was something.

You shook your head. Maybe the amount of alcohol he already had swallowed made him weak.

“So why don’t you wander off to your cute little toys and have a fun night?”, you said as you tried to avoid looking at him, “Just like Jimin does.”

Did you really say this right now? You cursed yourself. This drink was definitely the last.

“So this is what’s bothering you?”, a small smile played around his red lips. Only then you noticed that his bottom lip was certainly bigger then the one above. Since when had he closed the distance again?

“No it’s not bothering me!”, you tried to defend yourself. Without success because Jungkook leaned in again. This time brushing your hair behind your ear.

He was so drunk, you were sure about that. Never has he tried to touch you..or has he? Your mind was clouded.

“Maybe Jimin wants you but isn’t allowed to touch you, y/n”, the boy got closer until his mouth was brushing against your now free ear. Goosebumps made its way on your arms. The physically reaction was not unnoticed as Jungkook slid his big, veiny hands across your arms.

“Wh-what the hell, Jungkook?”, you whispered back eyes wide with shock. What was going on? Did he not see that it was you who stood before him? “What do you mean by ‘not allowed’?”

The golden boy’s lips turned upwards again. “I told Jimin you are off limits and as he is my best friend he will not try anything again.”

Your stare was showing many emotions at the same time. Confusing, anger, arousal.

“Who on earth gives you the right to-”

“I want you, y/n”, Jungkook interrupted your outburst, “Ever wanted you. Since moving in. Believe me or not but I have seen you watching me.”

Cold sweat ran down your back. Since when did he even notice that you were watching him? You always tried to hide your interest in the playboy who turned out to be your stepbrother. In college you and Mina watched his every step. But as he moved in with his dad you repressed your interest in him completely. All the bickering you have done was to avoid him and his good looks that drove you insane at night.

“So what? You are clearly drunk, go fuck off already”, your hand began to shake as he not moved again. It was not the right time especially since you would feel bad for finding him so deliciously sexy. How he stood there, a cheeky grin spread across his lightly tanned face. Dark, chocolate coloured eyes looking way too far down your body.

“Okay, I will not pull anything again but let’s talk. We never had a decent conversation.”

A sceptical expression was drawing your features. Both of you stared neither on the drinks or the people dancing in the big room in front of the kitchen.

Jungkook broke the short silence: “Where is your friend? Mina, right?”

You shot a glance at his watch. In your head you calculated the time she disappeared until now.

“Guess she is fucking some guy in my room.”

Jungkook swallowed hard as he tried to repress a laugh. Never had he thought that you would let someone fuck in your bed unless it would be yourself.

“And here I am, thinking how nice and cute your friend was. But afterwards she is just some naughty girl”, he shook his head lightly giggling.

“You don’t have to speak, Jungkook. Rumours say you fucked nearly all girls on campus.”

At this remark the boy went silent. You had to check if he was okay so you turned your attention to the boy next to you. To your surprise he was looking you straight in the eyes.

“And what about you?”, interest sparkled in his dark eyes while he watched heat rushing into your face.

“I’m not the type to fuck someone and throw them out afterwards and neither the other way around, if this is what you want to know”, you drowned your drink after this confession. After your first boyfriend you only had a one-night-stand once and it was an awful memory. Sneaking out of someone’s house in the morning, walking the walk of shame and having worse sex was not what you wanted. And after that seeing this person was rather awkward so you kept your hands off of those things.

“Love making, how boring”, Jungkook’s voice brought back, “No wonder you’re always so tense. You need a good fuck.” A loud snort followed.

Your hand in your hair you rolled your eyes. Yes it was two years ago you last had someone but to hear it from Mr. 1 playboy did not help.

“Jungkook that was over the top, I’m going to find someone just as you suggested!”, voice trailed with annoyance you turned to go. As if you would just go and find someone but standing so close to Jungkook while talking about your sex life was too much.

“Y/n! This was not what I suggested!”, his loud voice shouted behind you. How was you so dense, he thought. A little joke and you exploded. And right that moment you found Jimin. He was making out with a thin blond with huge tits. But as you walked past him his eyes shot open and he freed himself out of the girls claws. You ignored it just wanting to get some fresh air while waiting for Mina to finish her business. Behind you you could hear soft voices that drowned the bass of the music. A final glance back you saw how Jimin stared wide eyed at Jungkook. They both discussed something before your stepbrother took steps in your direction.

“Y/n!”, Jungkook was right behind you, “Come on, don’t be pissed about what I said. It was a joke! Don’t be a party pooper.”

“I’m not pissed”, you exhaled loudly, “Maybe you were just right about getting a good fuck.”

Silence answered you. You shoved this out burst on the way the cool air clouded your judgement. The time was ticking and as you wanted to make sure that Jungkook was still there an arm shot forward to pull you against his body. Dizzy you looked in Jungkook’s angelic face to see that his bunny teeth were showing.

“Just say yes, y/n. I make sure it’s worth your time”, he whispered closing the remaining distance of your faces. His nose brushed against yours while his hands slipped to your waist.

Before you could even think you pressed your lips on his. Unnoticeable shock turned into arousal as the boy smiled victoriously into the kiss. Heat rushed down your own body and as your tipsy mind evaluated the rights and wrongs in your actions. Your mind came to no solution as the golden boy pressed his hips into yours. If he would not hold you by your waist you might have fallen at the pressure of his own hips. The kisses you exchanged were soft delicate ones. Just with time lust washed in waves through your body until you clung on your stepbrother.

“Let’s go upstairs”, Jungkook loosened his grip to grab your shaking hand. His lips looked swollen and quiet red from your lipstick. You said nothing but let him lead you the way through the partying people to the beginning of the white staircase.

“Wait. My room is occupied by Mina”, you told him as you dropped dead in your tracks.

Dark unfathomable eyes focused on you. “My room.”

His free hand rushed down his stomach to the bulge in his pants. You guessed it was not the time to discuss the place. Large steps pulled you behind Jungkook as he rushed up the stairs. Noises came out of your room as well as out of the bathroom but you did not care. Your focus lay on the wide back of the boy in front of you. His raven locks moved with every strong step he took,you noticed for the first time. At the end of the floor he stopped fishing for the key inside his pocket. With fast hands he opened the door and dragged you inside. Jungkook locked the door whereas you headed straight for the bed. The black high heels were kicked off your feet as you slid further on the king sized bed in the middle of the room. Your surroundings were just a blur as the tall guy turned around lust in his chocolate eyes.

“I don’t think you have the right to sit so comfortably on my bed, princess”, his voice got lower, darker and seductive, “My room, my rules.”

You did not mind the pet name rather his comanding tone. You did not move what made Jungkook storm in front of you.

“Come here, right now. I won’t repeat it”, his low voice warned. The softness that laced his melodious voice was completely gone. This was the reason you obeyed his demand. Slowly you stood up, looking him right in his darkening eyes. His hands found their way to their place on your hips while he pulled you in for a passionate long kiss. His swollen lips moving furiously on yours that made you weak on your knees. Now that you were bare feet he had to lean down to give you his delicious kisses. Your own hands wrapped around his neck playing with his raven hair that was slightly curled. His tongue brushed softly at your bottom lip waiting for entrance and just a moment later he sucked your own tongue. The golden boy knew his way around as he made you moan with just his heated kisses. This sound alone drove Jungkook insane and he moved his hips into your stomach quite violently. He was hard since he got hold of you in the kitchen. This fucking short dress revealed too much to stay sane, he thought. Right then he could not wait any longer but so did you.

“On your knees, princess”, he demanded heavily breathing from all the passionate kisses you gave him.

Your obedience followed and in no time you sat in front of Jungkook who looked at you his body looming before your own. Your hand slid slowly from his calves to his muscular clothed thighs. He was tense you could feel it as his muscles twitched. While you gazed his toned legs and his prominent bulge with your hands Jungkook opened his belt. In slow motion he continued his actions with the rest of his jeans and in one go pulled them down. The outline of his dick was so strong that you reached out to brush your fingers against it. A muffled sound escaped Jungkook as he watched you in awe. Here you were on your knees, smeared lipstick looking hungry at his own dick how long had he wanted to have you.

“How about you undress me, y/n”, his voice woke you from your starring. Your eyes flew to his face fluttering with your eyelashes whereas you stood up the hem of his black shirt in your hands. You slowly pulled it up tracing every inch of new revealed skin with your eyes. Once his shirt was torn off you gave Jungkook a long sluggish kiss before you kissed his perfect jaw. Your lips wandered further down until they hung on his hot neck. Your tongue worked as soothing material while your teeth marked his skin. You knew he liked it because the grip he developed over the minutes became more forceful. Quiet whimpers left his mouth as you worked your way on his chest to his abs. The smeared red lipstick left a few wet marks that showed your path of kisses down his half naked body. You stopped at the hem of his dark boxers. At this point you wanted to be the one in charge this is why you pulled his underwear down. Jungkook seemed not to care as his hard member sprung free. He was even bigger than what you had imagined a pulsating vein drawing its line from the base to the top.

One last glance at the boys face you began to pepper kisses at his swollen tip. How long was he hard? You did not care and teased as you licked your way from his base over and over again. Sweet relief not given for the golden boy.

“If you do it again I’m shoving my dick in that pretty mouth of yours. So do it properly, princess”, his voice showed signs frustration but a way too sweet tone was covering it nearly completely.

“Don’t be rude otherwise you will get nothing, Jungkook”, you tried to go against him but without success. Jungkook only smirked down at you not believing any word you just said.

Snorting you pierced his eyes before leaning down taking the red tip in your mouth. You hollowed your cheeks and peered to the boys face. He returned your gaze with hungry wild eyes. Your two hands were brought to the outside of his big thighs as you deepened your mouth onto his dick. A loud moan reached your ears while you started to suck at his dick that fit partly in your mouth. Slowly you leaned in even further until his member hit the back of your throat.

“Stay still, princess”, Jungkook motioned to caress your cheek before he grabbed your hair in his big hand. His fist enclosed around it why you could not move one bit. “Hit my thighs if you have enough. And you have to inhale deeply if I say ‘now’.”

Wide eyes looked at him. The only deep throating you tried out was disastrous for your ex-boyfriend as well as for you. This situation was quite scary to you why Jungkook loosened his grip shortly for you to say something. With a loud plop his dick was free and you started to speak: “Please be gentle.”

Your were not even sure if he knew what this word meant but his mouth formed a rather warm smile as he patted your head to take away your fear. A slight nod signalized him to continue his plans. The former solid grip of his hand was back at its place in your hair. Trembling hands gripped the boys thighs again while his focus laid on your mouth. Jungkook positioned his dick right before your open mouth and he could swear it was the most tempting moment he had experienced since he discovered the opposite gender.

After a last check on you Jungkook’s voice filled the room: “Now.”

With that word you inhaled deeply before he glided his dick as deep in your mouth as he was long. The back of your throat was reached too fast for his liking why he pushed all of his length even further than that. He could hear a few gags before his member blocked your windpipe. Just then a loud animalic groan left his chest. Your throat contracted so deliciously around him that he would have come if you had not hit his thighs lightly. Without a second thought he slipped out of your mouth. You coughed a little while inhaling as much oxygen as your lungs allowed.

“Not bad, princess”, Jungkook’s voice was gruff but you could hear his lust in it. He panted lightly as he smeared your last remaining bit of lipstick across your cheek. Then he positioned himself again to begin fucking your mouth. You felt tears dwelling up as he slowly moved his hips in and out of you. He sped up as he saw that your saliva flowed out of the edges across your lips to your delicate chin. Why were you so damn hot, he had to stop countless times as he was so near to his release without even tasting you.

A plopping sound echoed trough Jungkook’s room as he pulled himself reluctantly out of your wet mouth. By this time your lace panties were soaked. Droplets of your arousal ran down your legs why you pressed them together. You needed at least a little friction you noticed. While sucking him your own desires wandered to the back of your head but were even more prominent right as he stopped penetrating your throat.

Whimpers left your mouth. “Jungkook, I can’t wait any longer. I need you.”

The boys actions were faster than light. In no time he removed the dress off of your body. With one swift move he lifted you from your place at his feet and threw you onto his huge bed. Your body was covered by his as he kissed you, elbows beside your head.

“You look stunning”, he grinned into the kiss. Big hands wandering over your skin to the sealing of you black bra. Experienced fingers opened it in one go. Your bra flew to your dress as well as your panties that were removed by his strong fingers as well. His body hovered over you with sparkling dark brown eyes, hungry for what will happen next.

How long you wanted him. All the months you had repressed the feeling Jeon Jungkook set free inside your stomach. You might not like his actions in general but right now you did not care. The tension that always seemed touchable finally got released and your anxiety turned into excitement as you saw him above you. His raven locks were wet and hung upon his unfathomable eyes that loomed centimetres away. Strong hands holding him up as his toned torso was laced with light sweat. Ethereal, is what you thought. Handsomeness on another level. Never did you want anyone as much as you wanted Jeon Jungkook right now.

“Will you stare at me the whole night?”, your voice dragged the golden boy back as he was in trance at the sight before him. You got pretty impatient because of the missing friction your tingling heat needed.

What followed were sloppy heated kisses before Jungkook’s hands traced the curves of your body. He wanted to take his time but you urged him in finally sleeping with you. A wet trail was left on your pale skin as he kissed his way down to your breasts. He marked you with hickeys and bit down on your delicate skin. Jungkook’s actions were rather rough as he played with your breasts. You ran your own hands through the boys locks while he played with your sensitive spots on your mounds. One hand slid down across your stomach, the other stayed at your breast massaging it with his big hand. Finally he reached between your legs to stroke your bundle of nerves. His thumb circled around it numerous times, every once in a while pressing hard onto it. The more the boys stroked you the louder your voice got. As he hovered two fingers above your folds you held your breath. Jungkook coated his fingers with your juices to see how ready you were. Satified he slipped both his long fingers inside your warmth. Immediately you felt how you tightened around him. Loud moans slipped out your open mouth and you could not stop yourself as he pounded his fingers mercilessly inside you.

“So eager, princess?”, he joked while focusing on your face, “Just look at you. Heavy panting underneath her stepbrother while throwing a party. And I thought your friend was the naughty one.”

You let his remark slip as long as he will not stop his movements. But right as your release approached he pulled his fingers out. Glistering wetness moistened his digits.

“So wet for me”, he stated while bringing his fingers up to his red lips. His tongue sucked at his digits until they were clean. “You taste absolutely sweet, just as I imagined.”

“I don’t care, just fuck me already!”, your voice was louder than expected but you did not care as long as he would finally move his hips into yours.

Jungkook went to the drawer of his night stand to get a condom. To your relief he was quick to put it on.

“Come here”, he said while pulling you down to the edge of his bed.

You propped yourself up on your elbows to see the actions that happened while your stepbrother positioned his hard dick at your wet entrance. One swift movement of his hips and he was finally filling you up. You both remained still as he let you adjust to his prominent size. A short while later you began to squirm underneath him.

“You know you are so fucking tight. How long had you no sex?”, Jungkook said breath stuck in his throat. The smallest movement of your hips might bring his explosion.

“Just..a while”, you admitted. Your head shooting up to the sudden rotation of his hips. Both moaning at the friction caused by his actions.

“Fuck, y/n, I can barely move.”

Instead of responding you grabbed his face between your hands and kissed him again passionately. The clash of your teeth was heard as you pressed your lips on his over ans over again. Your breathing stopped while the clashing of lips and his fastening thrusts. By the time he was pounding as hard as he could to get you to your climax. Meanwhile your head dropped on the sheets and your free hands grabbed them as hard as they could because of his violently thrusts that caused you to jump up and down. Mercilessly he held your legs in position.

“I won’t last pretty much longer”, he pressed trough gritted teeth.

Golden Jungkook freed one of his hands for you to come. His thumb found its way down at you clit to rub you over the edge. It came suddenly but as he furiously stroked it you could feel how the coin inside your stomach began to turn. The fire in the pit of your stomach spread through your squirming body. Your nerves were drawn together before loosening and turning the coin around.

“Jungkook!”, you nearly screamed as your orgasm washed over you. Like a mantra you repeated his name louder every time another wave flooded you.

Your voice calling out for him at this rate was enough for Jungkook to go wild. It was just like the most beautiful melody he had ever heard as he pounded even harder than before brows furrowed of exhaustion. You could see how sweat pooled on his toned and tanned body. Heavy grunts escaped him while you tightened around him. With the next moan of yours he himself felt his release shooting into the condom. Several sounds slipped out his mouth and with a last sloppy thrust of his hips he pulled out of you. The condom landed in the bin next to his bed.

You watched as his furrowed brows slowly began to relax.

“Wait here”, he demanded out of breath. With these words he slipped his jeans back on and made his way to the door. The quiet ‘click’ of the door was heard. Another moment later he got back a wet cloth in his hand.

“Wash up before you ruin my sheets”, was the only thing he said before giving you the warm cloth.

“Thanks though”, you responded slightly flushed.

While you began to clean yourself Jungkook threw himself onto the bed again. Arms crossed behind his head. He watched you out of his eyes with fascination. You felt his stare but continued your cleaning before you stood up and grabbed your underwear before changing into your dress. For you the atmosphere felt heavy and embarrassing but the boy did not seem to mind.

You turned around to go back to were all the other guests were but stopped dead in your tracks.

“Y/n”, Jungkook’s voice was pure amusement.

Confused you pulled your eyebrows up but looked at him.

“Look in the mirror before going back downstairs. You look a little..”, he searched for the right word but went with his first choice, “fucked out.”

Heat rushed into your cheeks again. You just hoped it was easy to fix but as you went straight to the mirror of his wardrobe you was shattered. It was the opposite of 'easy to fix’. Not only your lipstick was smeared across your cheek but the mascara smudged around your eyes because of the sweat and tears from before. Not to mention your messy hair.

“Fuck”, you stuttered as your view flew to Jungkook again. By the time he was fully clothed and ready to leave his room.

“Y/n, I have to go downstairs, so would you mind going in your own room to fix that mess of yours?”, he stated with one gesture of his hand towards the door, “By the way, I guess this is my favourite state of yours.”

“Fuck you”, you spit and stormed out of his room leaving the chuckling boy behind.

“Let’s repeat it some time, princess”, he shouted while you made your way to your own room fuming.

Luckily nobody was inside any more, your sheets thrown off your bed. As you tried to fix your look to something decently you balanced the rights and wrongs in your head again. This time your head told you that, beside having some dick after a phase of dryness and late night sessions by yourself, it should stay by this one time. Maybe it was a mistake but you would only know when some time passed.

The only thing you were very sure of was that this was the first as well as the last time that you followed your human desires.

But the near future had other plans with you. Your patience was put to test by nobody else but Jeon Jungkook.

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