#also the firefly thing is done before they have nerves to feel it and has like a 98% success rate

[missacidburn928s-heathenhideaway]

You'll Find Me Resting Among The Restless... (Sinners Prayer)

Mafia!Stucky x POC Escort!Reader “Sin”

Wordcount: 5325

Summary:

Not all girls are made of sugar spice and everything nice. Some girls are made of art, lust and misplaced trust. The most loving thing you can do for a man, is to teach him to swallow his own poison.

Warnings:

Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Betrayal, Infidelity, Past Sharon Carter/Steve Rogers, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate universe - Mafia, Texting, Punishment, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort Sex, Tease, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Female Character of Color

Notes:

This story just attacked me and would not let up until I got it out of my system. It's angsty but with a happy/hopeful ending because I'm a sucker for a resolution. Italics are thoughts Photos used do not represent any particular reader features, they are used for reference only. Happy Reading!

Banner by @cafekitsune Divider by @firefly-graphics

They messed up badly this time. Not only had they fallen for you. They didn't realize it until you were gone. Throwing every “gift” back in their faces and moving out of the penthouse they liked to keep you in. You also went back to some of your old clients. One of which was a particular couple that they were very close to, in business and personally. 

All because Steve let his bitch of an ex Sharon get under his skin and in a lapse of judgement and a whole lot of whiskey he not only fucked her but let you find them together on the couch naked and passed out the morning after. He had the nerve to get pissy with you for just showing up at their place. When he was the one that set up the breakfast date the week prior. 

Asshole.

Poor Bucky, he didn't even do anything and yet because he and his boyfriend are a package deal he got left as well. 

You told him you’d never get between them. That you wouldn't hurt either of them by picking one over the other. If things came to that, you’d just leave them both. They weren’t the only ones who went and fell in love. With tears filling your eyes, begging to be set free, you turned towards the Steel Gray eyes full anguish beside you. 

“I can handle a broken heart Buck. It’s not the first time someone thought that because of my profession and being non monogamous that you can't ACTUALLY cheat on me. I’m going to miss you something fierce though.” You step closer for just a moment and caress his cheek. 

“I wish it wasn't this way, but it is what it is. I can forgive a lot of things. Even this if done properly, but for now I just need to not be here anymore. Please know that I don't blame you for any of this. You're just as much a victim of his choices as I am.” You kiss his cheek. 

“I love you. Please don't hurt him too much and take care of yourself okay. If you need me you know where I’ll be.” You pivot on your heels and head out the door, gently closing it behind you. You make it all the way to the penthouse they provided you before you break down in tears as you pack up all of your belongings. You’ve just gotta get out here.

That’s how you ended up here, attending a party hosted by Pepper and Tony Stark, as their plus one. In all honesty you knew Tony only threw this event because he wanted to cheer you up and this is the only way he knew how outside of the bedroom. That was his first approach, which was shutdown quickly by Pepper the moment she saw you on their doorstep, clearly heartbroken.

You weren't here only in a work capacity, although they were paying for your time, they just wanted to protect you and let you heal without the added pressure to ‘perform’. So once again, on paper and according to your bank account at least, you were their Sugar Baby. 

You did terminate the contract with Steve and Bucky the same day the incident occurred, so it was good to know you wouldn't have to dip into your savings just yet. Thank goodness Pepper still kept your old apartment in Stark Tower ready for you just in case. 

The relationship you shared with them was not at all conventional, with or without a contract. Frankly they were the only people you knew who you could always count on and that meant the world to you. You truly did love the Starks. Before Steve and Bucky came along they were your favorite clients. They were the ones to introduce you to the powerful couple, at a party just like this one actually. So technically they were to blame for your current heartbreak.

I wonder if they’ll both show their faces here and if Sharon will be on Steve’s arm? I wonder how Bucky is holding up, if the nightmares have come back? Fuck. I told myself I wasn't going to think about them tonight and here I am almost in tears at the thought of Bucky in pain. I need a drink or five.

It isn’t until you're nursing your third cocktail at the bar, catching up with Wanda that you spot them, the usual entourage of Nat and Sam at their sides, Clint taking up the rear. Ever the intimidating image as always. Other than Tony, who runs Manhattan, they’re the biggest bosses in the room, controlling Brooklyn. Thankfully they brokered a truce years ago and everyone works together peacefully. 

Before you have a chance to escape to a far corner where you can hide away, you make the mistake of glancing over your shoulder and catch the intense blues of Bucky staring straight into your soul. Even tired he looks like a damn Greek god. Tragedy included. 

He breaks the stare off, leaning over to Nat and whispering something in her ear. You watch as she skillfully distracts Steve and moves him towards the center or the party where the Starks are currently holding court. Lost in watching Nat do what she does best, you don't realize Bucky has made his way over to you until it’s too late and you feel the ghost of fingertips trace down your exposed spine in your backless black dress. 

He leans over your shoulder. That sweet baritone you love whispering into your ear. “You look magnificent tonight, Doll. Would you grant a poor mortal the chance to remain in your presence with a dance?”

You lift your glass to your lips, keeping your eyes straight ahead, finishing the remnants of alcohol while you ponder your response. With a steadying breath you respond. “One dance couldn't hurt. But it can't be here, among such prying eyes. I’d rather remain in the shadows tonight.” 

“As you wish.” He proceeds to rest his hand on the small of your back and guide you toward a darkened sitting room off the main hall. You could faintly hear the music over the murmur of voices wafting into the space. 

He pulls you close, wrapping his large arms around your waist as you rest yours around his thick neck. Being in his arms again, after weeks of loneliness, feels like coming home. You place your forehead against the space between his collarbone when he begins to sway to the dull beat. 

“How have you been, Doll? Truthfully. Don’t try to sugarcoat it for my feelings.”

Keeping your face right where it is, to shield you from those steel grays you love so much, you give him your truth. “Surviving. That’s the best way I can describe it. I’ve been licking my wounds and trying to mend this hole I feel in my heart. I keep thinking, I just have to get to tomorrow and the pain will lessen even more. And one day it won’t hurt anymore when I think of them.”

You lift your head to run your eyes over his handsome face. “How about you? How have the Kings of Brooklyn been holding up in their Ivory Tower?”

Looking off into the darkened space, his eyes latching on to a sliver of moonlight coming in through a crack in the curtains. You feel his chest vibrate as he scoffs. “We’re not even sleeping in the same bed right now. I was so upset with him that day that I couldn’t even be bothered to  help him with his hangover. Funny enough, Sharon was kicked out immediately by Steve as soon as you left. Like legit woke her up, threw her clothes at her and screamed at her to get the fuck out. She didn’t leave without spewing a few truths first.”

He just shakes his head, rambling out his thoughts as they come into his mind. “Apparently it was her plan all along to get him drunk and earn her spot back by his side. She’d been talking shit about the both of us and just wanted Steve to herself. She knew just how to get into Steve’s head due to his loyalty to her family. Thought that you’d just latch on to me and I would let him go to keep you. She had no idea that you would drop us both because you couldn't handle breaking us apart.”

You stare at him slack jawed, as he turns to look down at your moonlit face.

“Not gonna lie. I’m drowning without you, Doll. I can’t even look at him after what he did. It was reckless, regardless of his inebriated state. He knows how I feel about her and the things she’s done to him and me in the past.” He shakes his head in disbelief.

“The fucking Golden idiot, due to his loyalty to her Aunt and Uncle, and what he feels he owes them, just keeps letting her back in. I’m done with it. What about the respect I deserve as his partner in business and life? Fuck that, what about the respect and loyalty YOU deserve.” He’s staring straight into your soul again. 

“Your loyalty. Your love. It saved me babygirl. Your light always cuts through the darkness for me. You were the piece we were fucking missing and I cant believe he would even risk that. I’ve tried to let you go. I understand your reasons for leaving us. But I just can't do it. Even seeing the pain he’s trying to hide away, the tough front he’s putting on, isn’t enough to keep me around right now. I miss you baby. I’d give it all up to have you back in my arms for good. All this lavish bullshit isn't worth anything to me without you by my side. I hate that I’m being punished for his fuck up. Again I'm not blaming you for your decision baby. It just hurts and I miss you so fucking much. I can't even sleep at night anymore.”

You can’t resist running your fingers through the hairs on the nape of his neck. “Bucky. I miss you too. So much. I wish it wasn't like this. I never wanted to leave you. You’re right. You never did do anything wrong. You were more than loyal to me. I hate thinking I’m causing you pain because of a stupid decision he made.” Tears begin to well in your eyes. 

He gives your waist a squeeze. “Don’t cry baby. We can figure this out. Where are you staying? I know Tony and Pep took over your contract.”

You sniffle a bit. “They did. But it’s not what you think. Sex is not on the table. Though Tony fought me and Pep on that. He thinks a good dicking is all I need. They just want me to heal in peace. I’m staying here at the Tower in my old apartment.”

He nods his head. “Good. Makes me feel better knowing you're safe.” He grabs your cheeks tenderly. “I wish I could kiss you right now. It’s all I’ve wanted to do these last couple weeks. Just having you in my arms again isn’t enough.”

“Please.” You whisper out.

“Do you mean it, Doll? You're not just telling me what you think I want because you feel guilty for your decision to leave?” He implores.

“I don't regret my decision to leave, Bucky. But I do hate that I had to leave you behind. Like I said that morning. I could forgive almost anything. There’s just not anything you need to apologize for. So why did I let my emotions drag you in with my need for him to be punished? It was stupid of me. If you can forgive me for how I left, I would like to keep you in my life. In whatever way you see fit for that.” You confess.

“Really?” He furrows his brows. Not wanting to get his hopes up.

“Yes. I’ve been miserable without you too.” You smile up at him. 

“You good to get out here or do the Starks still need you tonight? Cus there is nothing I want more than to get you out of this dress and underneath me so I can show just how much I truly missed you.” That devilish smile of his, that means nothing but the good kind of trouble adorns his face as he awaits your answer. 

“I’m not needed here. This whole party was just to get me out of my apartment anyway and for Tony to be Tony and throw his money around. Plus seeing him walk in like nothing happened, act or not, yeah that shit hit deep.” You shrug your shoulders.

“Then let’s head up to your place and make the most of the rest of our night. I’ve got some time to make up for, and I’m all of a sudden ravenous.” The feral look in his eyes has you clenching your thighs together.

Not to be intimidated, you run a hand down his neck until it rests along the waistband of his dress slacks. “Yes, Sir.” 

He lets out a deep growl, pulls you close by the back of your neck and lays the most devastating, soul consuming kiss on your lips. Pouring every emotion into. Conveying without words just how much you mean to him. 

How could I have ever left this man behind?

You’ve barely made it through your apartment door before Bucky has you pinned against it. 

“I don’t know wether to rip this dress off you and fuck you right here against this door or take my time sweet time and worship every inch of your skin like you deserve.”

“Who says you have to only pick one option? We have the whole night ahead of us, don't we Sir?”

“Fucking minx.” He steals another heated kiss and pulls away from your chasing lips, panting. “Where’s your room babygirl. I’ve decided taking you apart piece by piece on your bed is the best place to start.”

You close your eyes for a moment and suppress a moan. “Promises. Promises. Sir.” 

Throwing him a wink, you lick your lips before turning and heading off down the hall. Sashaying your hips and divesting yourself of your dress right outside your bedroom door. 

Now completely nude, you climb onto your bed. Just as you lie back, resting on your elbows with your knees bent and legs spread wide, drooling pussy on full display, Bucky’s large figure graces your doorway. Shirtless, he stalks over to the bed, unbuckling his pants and losing them along with his boxer briefs along the way.  

He reaches the end of your bed. Eyes zeroed in on your glistening little slit. A feral grin slowly spreads across his face and he pounces. Before you know it your back hits the mattress of your king sized bed and Bucky is pushing your legs apart, resting your knees on his broad shoulders and laying kisses on your thighs. 

“This is the only place I wanted to be for weeks. Couldn't stop thinking about all the little noises you make for me when I feast upon this sweet cunt. How you squirm when I hit the right spot with my tongue. Fuck . Just look at you babygirl, so wet for me you're dripping onto the sheets already.” He swipes his tongue up along your folds from entrance to clit, eliciting a moan from you. You’ve always been sensitive but you haven't even touched yourself in the weeks since you left. Too overcome in your grief. So just that little movement is almost too much already. 

Clearly a man on a mission, he begins to devour you, wasting no time thrusting his tongue inside as deep as he can. The thick muscle massaging your silken walls, giving them something to clamp on to. “ Fuck, Bucky. That feels so good.” 

Your hands are anchored in his hair, pulling on his silken strands, just enjoying the ride on his tongue he is giving you. When he swirls his tongue, pulls it out and then moves it to lightly draw infinity symbols on your clit you lose it. 

A kaleidoscope of stars detonates behind your eyes as the orgasm slams into you. Gripping onto his locks tighter as you writhe beneath him, back arching off the mattress before you go boneless.

Coming back to your senses, you blink open your eyes and peer down at Bucky. His chin is glistening wet. A proud smile gracing his handsome face. Adoration shining in his icy blues. “There she is.” He laughs. “Had me worried for a minute there babygirl. Thought I might have made ya pass out. Looks like it was just one hell of an orgasm.” 

A sweet smile adorns your blissed out face as you caress his damp cheeks. “One hell of an orgasm indeed.” 

He begins to crawl up the bed towards you, leaving a path of kisses in his wake. His massive thighs push your legs further apart as he gives his turgid length a couple of slow strokes. He teases the thick head of his member along your folds, coating himself in your essence. 

You lock eyes with him as you whimper. “Please.”

He leans forward, interlocking his hands in yours, placing a toe curling kiss to your lips as he enters the warmth of your cunt. Splitting you open on his generous girth. Pulling his hips back and leaving you no time to adjust as he begins to grind his hips down on yours with every thrust. 

Foreheads pressed together, completely lost in this carnal dance of love and devotion. The room fills with the sounds of your passion. A symphony of moans and groans, accompanied with the sound of slick flesh meeting slick flesh. 

“Nothing has ever felt as good as your pussy squeezing me so tightly when you lose yourself to your pleasure. I need you to come for me baby. Come around my cock. I’m not going to last much longer and I need to feel you let go for me.” He groans out between brutal thrusts. 

It’s like his words have a direct link to your clit and with another well placed swivel of his hips you feel yourself lose control as your orgasm takes over. A rainbow of colors flash behind your eyes and the world sounds as if you're underwater. 

Everything comes back into focus just as Bucky is reaching his own climax. Burying himself deep inside you as he bites down on your shoulder and paints your womb white with rope after rope of his seed. Panting, he leaves a gentle kiss on the mark his teeth left behind. You run your fingers through his dark tresses and kiss his nose.

“Fuck I missed that.” He blurts out as he comes down from his own high.

“Agreed. Although, I must admit. It’s never felt quite as intense before. Feral yes. But that was something else altogether. I want more.” The confession slips from your lips.

“I’d give you the world babygirl. All you have to do is ask.” He places a soft kiss on your lips. “Let’s make some good use of that large walk in shower I can see from here and get dirty while we get clean. A round two is much needed. I haven't had my fill of you yet tonight.”

You giggle as he rolls over, slides off the bed and proceeds to scoop you up in his arms and into the ensuite. “You weren’t kidding about making up for lost time.”

“Darlin’, I’ll never get enough of you.”

You awaken slowly, sunlight slipping in through the blinds and a sweet soreness throughout your body. You open your eyes to the beautiful sight of a sleeping Adonis laid beside you, as peaceful as you’ve ever seen him. You take a moment to just watch his chest rise and fall with each breath until a vibration against the nightstand to his right catches your attention.

You reach across Bucky’s prone frame to grab his phone. It seems that Steve has been sending texts and leaving messages for Bucky throughout the night. Having felt you move, he rouses from his slumber and nuzzles into your neck. “Not that I’m complaining about having you draped over me like a blanket, but what has you moving around so much already? I thought I wore you out last night.” 

Turning the device in your hand towards his slowly waking eyes you respond. “Your phone. Apparently Steve needs your attention.” 

He takes his phone from your hand and goes through all the texts and two voicemails left for him. He responds with a picture of the two of you together in bed.

I'm right where I'm supposed to be Pal. Don’t know when or if I’ll be home though. 

This is how you spend the next week. Lazy days full of fucking, comfort food, dancing, smoking and watching movies. Just enjoying your time together in a little bubble. Bucky taunting Steve with pictures and videos of how you're spending days together. At one point even you get in on the torment, texting him back pics of Bucky cooking shirtless, in the shower, having a smoke or cuddled up on your lap. 

Looks like breakfast is served.

Cleanse the skin of its many sins.

He just can’t seem to quit

He won’t let me move

Bucky is much more of an ass about it though. Sending provocative pics of you and rubbing in how badly he fucked up.

I’ll never get enough of kissing the breath out of her

Best morning view

Gonna have to thank Tony for this secret little room in her apartment. 

Having enough of his moping and random fits of anger targeted at whoever was closest, Natasha decides it’s time to take things into her own hands. With some help from her friends of course. Wanting to help move things along, the Starks call a meeting with Steve to be held at the tower in their personal conference room located in their penthouse. They need to figure out if it's even worth letting you back into his life. 

Surprisingly Tony is more than okay with Bucky cohabitating in sin with you here in the tower. The smile is back on your face and your laughter is filling the halls once more. But Steve has a bigger battle to fight, having betrayed your trust and he wants to make sure that he understands that.

The man of the hour walks in with a calm step and an air of malice in his cerulean eyes. The bags beneath them tell the story of a man suffering for his choices. Tony has been there before. That time when Pepper came to her senses and left him high and dry when he refused to commit to her, unwilling to give up his playboy ways. That’s when he first used your services. He needed someone on his arm for events and he just couldn’t handle bringing a new person each time. It would only aid in making what Pepper said about him true.

It was you who listened to him make drunken confessions of his true feelings for his former lover. That he did want to commit but he was afraid that he wasn't cut out for monogamy. That’s when you told him all about your non monogamous status. “Monogamy is great for those who chose to live that way. But for me, I’m just not content with only one lover in my life. I am polyamorous as well though. But don’t be confused. Not every non-mono person is that way. Some only want to play with others and keep emotions out of it and that’s ok. I for one am happy with multiple play partners as well as multiple full fledged relationships. To each their own ya know.” You gave a little shrug. 

“It seems to me that the only amorous relationship you want is with her. You just want the option to play when an opportunity presents itself. And I’m willing to bet that you want her included in those sessions as well.” You can’t help wiggling your brows. 

“That’s the dream isn’t it. Ya know, I think you two would like each other. Too bad I chased her away. The trouble we could all get in together. Mmmm.” He bites his lip and continues drinking his whiskey. 

“Who says you can't win her back? Give me your phone.” He hands it over, unaware that you were going to change his life for the better. 

Snapping out of his memories and giving attention back to the room full of his friends and fellow gangsters, he locks eyes with Steve. “Hello Steven.” He smirks. “You’re looking well.”

“Cut the crap Tony. What did you drag me here for?” He bites out.

“Whoa. Whoa. Whoa Cap. I brought you here for the benefit of your relationships but now I’m thinking I should have left it alone.” He runs his fingers over his goatee. 

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about that icy little boyfriend of yours and everyone's favorite escort. I’m sure you're more than aware of the love den they have been spending their time in. Licking their wounds and mending their heartbreak together.” 

He quirks a brow. “Tony I don't have time for your bullshit. If you didn't bring me here for business then I’m gonna head out that door. I have better things that I could be doing with my time.”

“Like what? Taking out your anger at your colossal fuck up on your subordinates? Spending some more time between that Carter’s legs?” He declares with disdain.

With the quickness of a man half his size, Steve’s hand is wrapped around Tony’s throat. “You need to learn not to speak of things that don’t concern you.”

Pepper and Natasha rush forward. One afraid for her husband's safety, the other worried about the truce being broken due to her boss's emotional outburst. Men. 

“Alright boys. Enough is enough. Steven, please let go of my husband. We really did bring you here to help you out. He’s just a little overprotective of her. We all are.” Pepper implores in her softest tone.

With Natasha’s help and a nudge from Sam he finally gives in and lets Tony’s neck go. “Thank you.” 

He slumps back in his chair and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I know I fucked up. I let my allegiance to the Carter family blind me and allow my toxic ass ex to manipulate her way back into my life. In the process, regardless of my overly intoxicated state, I betrayed the love of my life, my best friend. As well as the only women who has ever truly understood our dynamic and accepted and loved us unconditionally. And I'm the idiot you didn't realize how madly in love with her I was until I watched her leave us that morning. Us. Not me, who deserved her wrath, but us. She couldn't bring herself to choose between us, even in her pain. I don’t fault Buck for leaving me to my misery to go after her.” 

He scoffs. “They’ve been torturing me daily with pictures of their time spent together. I want that. I want back in their good graces but I have no idea how to fix what I broke or even if I can.”

Pepper places her hand on his shoulder. “Of course you can. I can’t speak for James, but I’ve never known her to not at least have an honest conversation. Start there, she’ll appreciate your honesty. Don’t complicate things. Lay all your cards on the table and let them lay down theirs. It’s that simple.”

“I’m willing to go that route. If I even knew where they were.” He sighs.

“Well, lucky for you Cap that Pep here never got rid of the little vixens apartment. And I have it on good authority that they ordered take out that will need to go through security before making it’s way up to them.” Rubbing his neck Tony says with a smirk.

“I’m gonna need you to intercept that order for me.”

You're cuddled up all cozy in Bucky’s lap, watching Bride Of Chucky, when the doorbell goes off. 

“Must be the food. I’ll grab it, no need to pause. You know I have this memorized.” You lay a quick kiss on his cheek and make your way to the door. 

Grabbing your wallet from the hall table you open the door and let out a gasp. Standing there with your take out in his hand and puppy dog eyes is none other than Steven Grant Rogers.

You have no idea how long you stand there, just staring at him.

“Hey babe, what’s taking so long? Can’t find your wallet again?” Bucky comes up behind and stops in his tracks when his eyes land on Steve. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Bucky.” You admonish.

“No, no, it’s okay. I get it.” He lets out a deep sigh. “I just wanted to talk to both of you. Tony and Pep helped me get up here. Please. I just want to talk. If you don't like what I have to say you can kick me out and I’ll never bother you again. That goes for you too Buck.”

You and Bucky share a look, before you open the door further and step aside. “Come on in, Steve.”

You head back to the living room, and have Steve place the food on the coffee table as you pause the movie and take a seat on the sofa next to Bucky.

Instead of sitting on the loveseat to the left of you, Steve lowers himself to his knees before you. “First and foremost, I’m sorry. I’m not even going to try and make excuses for it. Drunk or not, it shouldn't have happened. And I definitely shouldn’t have yelled at you when I was only angry at myself.”

He reaches for your hands, which you let him take. “You had every right to leave me. I’m an idiot. I love you and I let you slip away.” He turns to Bucky. “I’m sorry I even entertained her baby. I know how she makes you feel. Again, I’m an idiot.” 

“Not gonna argue with you on that one.” Bucky says as he leans back against the couch.

“I can’t promise that I won’t fuck up again in some way. I am stubborn after all. But what I can promise is that I’ll try. I’ll give you both my all and do what is necessary to win your trust back. Just give me a chance. That’s all I’m asking.”

You look at Bucky. “Do you believe him? Do you believe he’s remorseful and truly ready to make amends?”

“Seeing as how I’ve only ever seen him on his knees when he’s servicing me and I placed him there. I’m gonna have to go with yes I think he means it. The decision is up to you though, Doll. From here on out. I go where you go.” He places a kiss on your cheek.

“Thank you for laying this all on my shoulders Buck.” You turn back to Steve and place a hand upon his face. He nuzzles into it. “I’m willing to give you a chance. But just the one. You’re going to have to really work to earn our trust back and we won't take it easy on you. You’re going to need to woo us all over again.” 

“Challenge accepted.” He quickly agrees.

“How about a kiss to seal the deal?” You suggest.

He leans in. “With pleasure, Doll.” He wraps his hand in your hair and proceeds to get you drunk off his love.

[constellaris]

Please disclose why everyone is saying they’ve got a bad feeling and it makes me anxious sob

tbh mine isn't really a bad feeling at this point. i'm not that far in probably, but the way some stuff has been handled ... i really feel uncomfortable.

i'll preface what i'm going to say with this warning : if you do not like seeing people talk badly of a character you like, please do not continue reading. i have said on here before that personally, i do not care about firefly the way hoyo wishes we all would, and what i'm going to say revolves around her.

with that out of the way, i'm putting it as plain as i can - i'm so fucking over having characters shoved down our throats as potential romantic interests in a way, you know what i mean? from the second we met her, firefly was basically marketed to us as " oh the trailblazer is falling in love with her !! look how cute they are together !! "

sorry sis but as someone who also doesn't really like march that much ( i find her to either grate on my nerves or just straight up piss me off with how condescending she can be ) firefly really ain't a step up in any sense.

if you like those girls, cool beans, you enjoy them and love them with your entire hearts and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. but me? no. march annoys the shit outta me and firefly, at best, would be a friend . i hate the whole vibe of trying to force us to view her as someone close to us and super special when she literally lied to us off the bat about pretty much everything.

but ritsu, why do you feel this way when you seem to like characters like jade? i can answer that real simply - because jade is unapologetic about being a fucking bitch. i can get behind that. what i can't get behind is how firefly has been handled in a narrative perspective.

she has been shoved down our throats since we first saw her. we knew nothing about her truly and were supposed to feel sad when she died the first time? the second time?? um no fam i felt fucking nothing. absolutely nothing. and with what's happened in the early part of the current quest i still feel absolutely nothing, even after everything we've learned about her and her people.

i feel more for the people of glamoth as a whole than i do for the character that so many people have a fucking hard on for shipping with the trailblazer, including hoyo. i've been trying to ignore it, but my god it's getting real hard when you're basically being shown fantastical, romantic scenarios that just scream ship fodder.

again, my main issue is the narrative perspective of it all and how forced so much of it feels. in contrast, honestly, i love the hints of interest characters show toward the player character in something like wuthering waves with how jiyan and yinlin treated the rover at the end of their story quests. there was no denying there was the intrigue there, but the romantic subtext was very up in the air.

sort of the same between xiao and the traveller in genshin. xiao's attachment can be seen growing toward the traveller, but at least in my opinion things were done more subtly and we're given a reason as to why he's been so slow and cautious opening up before things start going anywhere .

anyway i'm gonna stop ranting because really i could keep going, but long story short stop shoving this shit down my throat. at least give me the option to be more distant with a character and i'll be content because i don't feel like i have a knife to my throat.

[goatbi]

prompt: pets for the whole family (at least what pets they'd theoretically have)

Alright this is gonna be another headcanon lists so here we go babie! The first couple I have already given pets so they don’t have as long as answers 

Tommy: He has Sunkist and he is very content with just having Sunkist! If he were to get another pet, however, it would probably be a bird of some kind, like a bare-eyed cockatoo! 

Gordon: He gets Fanta! He’s like Sunkist, but a German Shepard, and a bit smaller than Sunkist, so that he’s a more manageable size for Gordon! (revealed in A Cry For Help, but def canon in all my works post black mesa because I love him) 

Darnold: She has a lil rat named King, and I’m debating for her to have a second rat! Probably named Queen! Cause why not! Rat tyme babey, they’re v v cute I love them (revealed in Affection, Rats and Dogs, still canon in all my works) 

Bubby: He has a cat named Dr. Feelgood! I bounced around the idea of what kind of cat, but I like the idea of Dr. Feelgood being a black sphynx, and she is absolutely lovely (revealed in Dr. Feelgood, but again, canon in all my works post black mesa <3)

And now it’s time for the people who DON’T have a pet yet but deserve one. 

Coomer: It gets fish! I like to think that Coomer has an entire fish tank, like those really elaborate ones, with a fuck ton of fish all set up, and it’s the main accessory to their living room, just a big ol fish tank with a bunch of fish, and Dr. Feelgood sits and watches them sometimes, but she’s a good kitty and doesn’t try and get at them, just likes to watch them. Coomer is very careful about their care as well, very precise and meticulous about keeping everything clean and all the fish healthy. In another tank, Coomer keeps a few axolotls too, cause he really likes them. He has a pair of fireflies (axolotls who have had their tails switched while in the embryonic stage) and I feel like he’d have a third? But I dunno what kind so :/ 

Benrey: Okay so! Reptiles! I’m thinking either a snake or a bearded dragon. Or both. I feel like, after a period of time taking care of one, I think starting with the snake, Gordon would feel more comfortable have more reptiles in the house, and also with Benrey taking care of animals. I think Gordon doesn’t really... like snakes? But isn’t scared of them or anything, so he’s fine with Benrey having a snake. Benrey would also get a bearded dragon, and then, with the two of them, he’d have his own little room that is warm as shit, because of the heat lamps, and he’d vibe in there with them a lot, sometimes venture out with his snake around his neck or carrying his beardie. 

G-Man: G-Man doesn’t really? like animals? There is an exception made for Sunkist, which is basically the meme of ‘no pets allowed in the building... i’ll make an exception for her because she looks very polite’, but it’s G-Man at Tommy bringing home puppy Sunkist. So G-Man doesn’t really like pets. You know what G-Man does have? Plants. So many plants. G-Man has a garden. 

Forzen: Okay, Forzen is giving me vibes of having had a childhood dog, and got really really attached to him? And then when the dog died of old age, Forzen was super heartbroken about it, and thus hasn’t gotten a new pet since then. If they were to get a pet, I think it would be another dog, the same kinda that they used to have, which I think was something small? I dunno what exactly, but smaller than Fanta or Sunkist. 

[bucky-hues]

bucky barnes fic recs

here are some bucky fics i loved reading!

many of these are 18+ and there are some dark fics in here, so please read the warnings for each fic! if any of the writers i’ve included want anything removed/edited, please let me know!

one shots

jack pendleton | @roger-that-cap

author!bucky x reader

moving into an apartment to get away from your last relationship was fun all fun and games until you met your extremely attractive across-the-hall neighbor, who makes awesome cookies and even better novels.

grip | @pellucid-constellations

bucky x reader

You knew Bucky didn’t like his arm. You just didn’t know how much until he accidentally hurt you with it.

voicemails to an unmanned inbox | @pellucid-constellations

bucky x reader

When Bucky takes an argument a little too far, you take off. All he wants is for you to come back home.

can’t get the words out | @pellucid-constellations

bucky x avenger!reader

Bucky’s been awfully distant lately. You don’t think your heart can take what you know he’s about to say.

his everything | @likeahorribledream

bucky x avenger!reader

Bucky has trouble talking about his feelings and he ends up pushing away the one person he needs the most.

eavesdrop | @bestofbucky

bucky x avenger!reader

things spies don't notice | @starrysebastians

bucky x avenger!reader

don't you worry (your pretty little head) | @babyboibucky

guitarist!bucky x reader

You agree to spend twelve hours with Bucky whom you just met.

suburbia | @wkemeup

bucky x avenger!reader

Posing as husband and wife, you and Bucky infiltrate a quaint suburban neighborhood in search of a Hydra hacker. Perhaps if you weren’t so in love with him and he hadn’t broken your heart, the act of pretending wouldn’t hurt so much.

sparklin' eyes | @19ana45

roommate!bucky x reader

Prompt: Character A’s current boyfriend/girlfriend/partner mocks Character B for their crush on their best friend, [A]. [B], feeling humiliated, withdraws from the friendship with [A], who is completely oblivious [B] has feelings for them.

reoccurring face | @swtbbybarnes

bucky x reader

he’s been around a lot lately, sometimes multiple times a day, and you’re starting to wonder how much coffee one man can actually drink.

falling for you | @comfortbucky

roommate!bucky

moving on | @bucky-bucket-barnes

bucky x reader

After Bucky had been missing for a year, you had presumed him dead. Time passed, yet you seemed unable to move on from his death. That was until a familiar face came to your doorstep one winter night.

bucky bitchass barnes to the rescue | @bucky-bucket-barnes

bucky x avenger!reader

In an attempt to escape from hectic life as an Avenger, you decided to go out on a date. Unfortunately, you got stood up. While Bucky hates you, he hates seeing you embarrassed more and decides to fill in for your M.I.A. date.

pansies, pain, and other things about bucky | @bucky-bucket-barnes

bucky x avenger!reader

You and Bucky are begrudgingly paired on a mission together. This is less than ideal considering neither of you are too keen on the other tagging along. All goes as normal until a surprise attack severely hurts both of you. Feeling incredibly guilty, Bucky helps you tend to your wounds. He has trouble admitting it, but he wants to make sure you’re safe.

the lost converse | @firefly-in-darkness

bucky x reader

Last nights party was a bit of a mad one, what do you do when you wake up in someone else’s bed?

nervous | @dailyreverie

bucky x reader

A nervous Bucky introduces you to his fellow Avengers during game night

fever | @dailyreverie

bucky x reader

a little old fashioned | @gogolucky13

bucky x reader

Bucky is a bit subtle in telling you he likes you.

sweetart | @onlyjamesbarnes

soft!bucky x baker!reader

your best friend bucky tries to stay platonic with you, letting you live out your dreams, but his instincts soon get the better of him.

the things you've done | @divine-mistake

bucky x reader

what if the world ended tomorrow and all he did was spend his last day with you thinking about how you never hold his metal hand and you never walk on his left side and you constantly reach out for his right arm?

do you still love me? | @thatfangirl42

bucky x reader

2:00am | @thatfangirl42

bucky x avenger!reader

miscommunications | @empyreanwritings

bucky x avenger!reader

cookies, kisses, and such | @sweetbucky

neighbour!bucky

pretending | @multifandomwriter

bucky x reader

Bucky notices you at a party and is instantly attracted to you. Steve instantly notices the lovestruck look in his eyes, but also his nerves that are stopping him from talking to you. So Steve plays on Bucky’s jealousy to get him to make a move.

good together | @irndad

bucky barnes x avenger!reader

bucky and his girlfriend are in secret, and they think they are absolutely perfect for each other. literally everyone else in the compound thinks bucky and nat are made for each other.

l-o-v-e | @irndad

college!bucky x reader

college!bucky meets reader in a library and it’s all downhill from there. He’s desperately in love and pining and it’s all ridiculous and he doesn’t think she could like him back.

tell me the truth | @bwhitewolfbarnes 

bucky x avenger!reader

Bucky finds himself overhearing your conversation with his younger self, and he hates the way it makes him ache. He needs to know what is real.

the staring contest | @jobean12-blog

bucky x avenger!reader

Bucky has a staring/glaring problem and you can’t figure out why!

lavender | @wkemeup

bucky x reader

Not every nightmare is the same and Bucky doesn’t always wake up as the man you know.

little lion man | @wkemeup

bucky x avenger!reader 

Sent on an assignment back to 1943, you encounter a drastically different version of the man you know

purgatory | @wkemeup

bucky x avenger!reader

While on a mission, Bucky becomes dissociated into the Winter Soldier. But instead of becoming a threat, his instinct is to protect.

i love you, you idiot | @chrisevansjellybeans 

bucky x reader

all the good things | @houseravenclaws 

bucky x avenger!reader

bucky’s been more than a little happy recently. sam thinks it has something to do with the pretty girl on the team.

tap | @houseravenclaws

bucky x avenger!reader

bucky never talked much. he fell in love anyway.

shaking | @clintbartonswife

bucky x avengers!reader

after you get injured on a mission, the usually stoic Bucky breaks, and you see a side to him that he’s kept hidden ever since his acceptance into the Avengers.

deserving | @hanoella 

bucky x healer!reader

When someone bad mouths Bucky in your presence, you set things straight.

keep me cool | @chouettedubois

bucky x avenger!reader

You and Bucky are on your third undercover mission acting as a couple. Things go awry when you fall ill. Cue caretaker!Bucky to the rescue.

on, off and repeat | @avasparks

neighbour!bucky x reader

i wished on the moon for you | @sunmoonandbucky 

bucky x reader

After losing Bucky, you were devastated. So when Howard Stark asks for volunteers for an experiment, you’re the first in line.

the hottest avenger | @watchmegetobsessed

bucky x avenger!reader

Being locked together with Sam and Bucky brings the worst out of you, picking on each other constantly. Following an arguement Bucky accidentally calls you his girlfriend in front of Sam when your relationship was supposed to be a secret.

hey daddy | @watchmegetobsessed

bucky x avenger!reader

You join Peter and his friends for a game of Truth Or Dare but you wish you stayed in your room when MJ challenges you to do a task that will definitely out your secret relationship with Bucky.

crash course | @watchmegetobsessed

bucky x reader

Bucky is a regular at the café where you work at and seeing him struggling with technology, you offer to help him, teaching him the basics while you are both thinking about taking it a little further than just a crash course.

little things | @watchmegetobsessed 

bucky x avenger!reader

missed chances | @soap-bubble-nebula 

bucky x avenger!reader

Bucky is about to ask out the reader, but right before she could answer him her ex calls her up and she answers happily as she always wanted a second chance with said ex

truth or dare? | @soap-bubble-nebula 

bucky x avenger!reader

the experiment | @soap-bubble-nebula 

bucky x reader

make believe on christmas eve | @green-eyeddragonfanfiction 

bucky x reader

When your family insists you bring your [nonexistent] long-term boyfriend over for Christmas, you panic. You hadn’t expected to be put in this situation; you never thought you’d actually have to bring “him” over.

sick day | @nastybuckybarnes

bucky x avenger!reader

you tell a little white lie to escape Avenging for a day, and Bucky finds out. He’s hurt and upset, until he finds out your reason why.

spies and secrets | @barnesandco 

bucky x reader

Bucky buys a new jacket that is… uncharacteristically bright. Sam ribs him for it, and you- you don’t know what to do with yourself.

the bar rules | @buckyhoney (18+)

bartender!bucky x reader

the family lunch |  @buckyhoney​ (18+)

dad'sbestfriend!bucky x reader

forbidden fruit | @bucksfucks (18+)

dad'sbestfriend!bucky x reader

you attempt to set your ex’s things on fire. bucky has a better idea.

mr. brightside | @bucksfucks (18+)

ex'sdad!bucky x reader

the one where you fuck your ex's dad

left gasping for air | @bucksfucks (18+)

bucky x reader

doused with sex pollen, you & bucky are met with a difficult decision.

love me harder | @celestialbarnes (18+)

bucky x avenger!reader

you and bucky have been flirting and screwing around for months now, after seeing him getting frisky with someone else, you decide to do the same and bucky’s just about had enough.

sweeter than sugar | @angrythingstarlight (18+)

chubbybaker!bucky x reader

look my way | @sableseb (18+)

neighbour!bucky x reader

boyfriend upgrade | @multifandomwriter (18+)

roommate!bucky x reader

You have always been close with your roommate, Bucky, but tensions start to rise when your boyfriend begins to stay over at your apartment. You feel like you’re drifting apart until Bucky accidentally sees you almost naked.

lure | @bccky (18+) dark

bucky x reader

it’s all about the perfect lure

plan | @sergeantxrogers (18+)

bucky x reader

“I was supposed to forget about you, and you were supposed to forget about me, but damn it if I could ever forget about you because since the day I saw you, you never left my mind and you were all I thought about,” he rambled, focusing on anything his eyes could land on that wasn’t you. “You’re… you’re still all I think about,” he whispered, voice tired and beaten, like the very sentence had been waiting in his throat for years just to get a chance to come out into the open.

play pretend | @wkemeup (18+)

bucky x avenger!reader

When Bucky is injected with a substance that leaves him desperate for release, you offer your help.

you’re mine | @marveicinematics (18+)

bucky x reader

Having a secret relationship with a man as insecure and complex as James Buchanan Barnes may not have been the best idea you had, but one thing was certain: you knew how to make him feel better about the things that bothered him.

white lies and truth serum | @mariessecretfantasies (18+) dark

dark!bucky x avenger!reader

You and Bucky share a dance, a few too many drinks, and a night in bed together. Unfortunately, he neglects to tell you that he can’t get drunk.

bitter fruit | @divine-mistake (18+)

bucky x avenger!reader

“The mission was already a success!” you say and you can feel tears burning the back of your eyes. You will yourself to blink them back. “You had the files, the base was set to detonate, I don’t understand why you didn’t just stay on the fucking jet.”

“Because you were going to die.”

always here | @simsadventures (18+)

bucky x avenger!reader

You have an obvious crush on Bucky, and kind of hope he feels the same. But when you overhear agents talking about you, and then even Bucky, you realise there is no hope for you. At least you think there isn’t.

your captain | @onlyjamesbarnes (18+)

dark!bucky x reader, husband!steve x reader

a perfect anniversary night gets interrupted by his best friend, who happens to be your boss.

series/multi-chap

graveyard , sacrifice | @wkemeup

bucky x healer!reader

As the unofficial healer for the Avengers, you pride yourself on the ability to mend heroes with the touch of your hand. Only, your gift comes at a heavy price — one you keep secret from your friends —and when Bucky asks you to do the impossible, they’ll discover why your gift is called a sacrifice, too.

sunrise | @wkemeup​ (18+)

veteran!bucky x librarian!reader

After an explosion takes his arm and his only sense of belonging, Bucky is discharged from active duty and sent back to civilian life. Left with a storm of unchecked guilt, Bucky is content to live out the rest of his days in the hollow comfort of the dark. This is, until Sam drags him down to the local VA and he meets you.

TiMER | @xbuchananbarnes (ongoing) (18+)

bartender!bucky x reader (soulmate au)

“If a clock could count down to the exact moment you’ll meet your soulmate, would you want to know?”

the match | @babyboibucky (ongoing) (18+)

ceo!bucky x reader

You come across your boss’ Tinder profile.

the holiday hack | @gogolucky13 

bucky x reader (modern au)

You ask Bucky to be your stand-in boyfriend for your family’s Christmas party.

sexual healing , medicine | @gogolucky13 (18+)

bucky x avenger!reader

You ask a touch-starved Bucky if he wants to try something new in an attempt to take your minds off work.

vacant mirrors | @whirlybirbs (18+)

bucky x reader

shit's been rough. shit was rough even before the blip. dr. hart shares an office with dr. raynor, and you share with waiting room with bucky barnes. set before tfatws; a friends-to-lovers, slowburn, eventual smut.

salvatore | @nsfwsebbie (18+) dark

dark!bucky x reader

Bucky Barnes doesn’t believe in love anymore. Especially after the tragic, unknown death of his wife, Natasha. He thinks it’s stupid and a waste of time and- oh my. Hello there, you. There you were, with your notebooks and your novels, writing your heart away. He’s hellbent on saving you from this nasty world, his elusive neighbor that has him under the stupid spell of love. You soon find yourself trapped in a tragic love story with Bluebeard, not Prince Charming.

polyonymous | @bubblebuckys

bucky x reader (social media au)

You met James on Twitter three months ago, and you’ve talked everyday since. You really like him, and you don’t think you’ve met anyone like him. That is, until the fateful night that brings the Avengers to you. You meet Bucky Barnes, and then you’re stuck choosing between two guys so alike you find yourself asking why they couldn’t be the same person.

going live , offline | @ritesofreverie (18+)

camboy!bucky x reader

your new neighbour looks so familiar, where had you seen him before?

heavy metal lover | @mypoisonedvine (ongoing) (18+)

sub!bucky x dominatrix!reader

working as a dominatrix is never exactly easy, but a new client brings challenges you never expected.

fake boyfriend real orgasms | @bucksfucks (ongoing) (18+)

roommate!bucky x reader

when bucky needs a date to sam’s wedding, he makes a deal with you. when it starts to turn into something a little more real, you realize how deep you’re in.

almost had me believing it | @tuiccim (18+)

bucky x avenger!reader

An undercover operation playing Bucky Barnes’ wife is a dream come true. Playing house in the suburbs while trying to take down a drug ring brings you and Bucky closer but a nosy neighbor causes trouble in paradise.

it's brooklyn, baby | @my-divine-death (ongoing) (18+)

college!bucky x reader

hush 1 2 | @starbuckie (ongoing)

bucky x reader

in quiet corners and selfish moments, y/n and bucky have kept their relationship a secret, one love that was pure and untouched by the darkness that surrounded them. but after bucky is able to walk the streets a free man once again, will their love be able to survive?

misconceptions | @firefly-in-darkness (18+)

bucky x avenger!reader

Bucky Barnes overhears a conversation that he shouldn’t have…

what a night | @jurassicbarnes

bucky x reader

Bucky Barnes is out in the new world, navigating through everyday life and it’s trials and tribulations. His therapist insists he tries new things. He has collected a few new hobbies. But when it comes to making new acquaintances, what’s a better way to meet new people than a little dating site called Tinder.

hey, professor | @balenciagabucky (ongoing) (18+) dark

professor!bucky x reader

professor barnes always had his eye on you, you noticed it, your girlfriend noticed it, even his friends and after one raunchy photo sent to him, a joke, nothing more, in his world you become more than just a student

missing piece 1 2 3 4 | @likeahorribledream

bucky x avenger!reader

seeing red | @mypoisonedvine (18+)

bodyguard!bucky x actress!reader

bucky used to brag that he didn’t have a celebrity crush, or really care about famous people at all, which is what made him the perfect person to start working for a celebrity like yourself.  except, of course, it’s just his luck that he’d fall for you.

flight risk , no control | @wkemeup

bucky barnes x avenger!reader

Bucky becomes a flight risk after a failed mission and is put in lockup under Steve’s orders. Even though Bucky won’t say a word of what happened, you camp outside the door to his cell so he knows he isn’t alone.

bad match | @justreadingfics (18+)

bucky x reader

Bucky and the Reader are set up on a date, but things don’t go as well as expected.  

unbroken | @constantwriter85 (18+)

bucky x hacker!reader

Bucky isn’t happy about being paired with a snarky, untested hacker on a stealth mission to infiltrate Hammer Industries. But when the mission spirals out of control and they’re both captured, he finds out just how much heart his hacker has–and how far she’s willing to go to protect the lives of others.

if i only had a heart 1 2 | @chouettedubois​ (18+)

bucky x reader

Team Cap is back at the compound after being pardoned. Bucky is suffering from the shoddy work HYDRA did with his prosthetic. Tony brings reader in to fix it—and maybe help him find his heart in the process.

text me | @soap-bubble-nebula​ 

bucky x reader

Tony and the other’s are off on a mission, and it’s up to you to help Bucky get comfortable and assimilate into normal life. He texts you because Tony told him he could.

[firefly-in-darkness]

Separation, Connection - 2/2

Pairing →Bucky Barnes x Reader

Characters → Marvel Characters

Summary → Your friendship with Bucky deterioates when you catch him in a compromising position with a fellow agent. 

Word Count → 3.5k

SSB2021 Square Fill → Table Sex - @star-spangled-bingo

BBB2021 Square Fill  → “You’re such a tease” - @buckybarnesbingo

Warnings → 18+. Angst, jealousy, smut. sexual activities, swearing.

Betas → @fandomfic-galore // all mistakes are my own.

A/N →  I cannot believe how much everybody has loved part one, honestly, I am over the moon with all your comments and disdain for Bucky’s behaviour! I hope you like this part and I cannot wait to read your comments about how things turn out...

Firefly’s Masterlist

READ PART ONE HERE!

Previously: You paused in the doorway, but you had to be strong, to carry on walking away, you couldn’t let him hurt you again. It was time to move on.

The suite was filled with an assortment of flowers, sweet treats, and gift boxes, all unopened. From bright coloured ribbon to delicate lace detailing, the space was overwhelming and the sentiment behind each one wasn’t even close to what you wanted, needed from Bucky.

You laid on your couch, looking up to the ceiling, balloons filled with confetti swaying into view. Surely Bucky knows that he can’t buy your friendship. But maybe he is sorry. You looked over to your best friend sitting on the floor beside you, supposedly deeply invested in their book until a smirk formed on their face.

Wanda turned to you, “You already know what I think you should do - go and talk to him.”

She was right, you probably should talk to him. You knew Bucky hadn’t just tried to buy your friendship. It was in the way he’d hold the door open for you, drop off a coffee when you were doing paperwork, and how he’d always check in with you before, during and after training and missions. It was sweet, and not too dissimilar to the Bucky from before. However, this time, he made you even more nervous; the boyish charm that he didn’t use with you often was more noticeable, and the mischievous sparkle in his eye made you squirm.

“Okay.” You sat up, twisting to plant your feet on the ground, “I’m going to tell him. FRIDAY, where is Sergeant Barnes?”

The AI addressed you, “He’s currently sparring in the gym.”

You skipped down the corridor, leg bouncing in the elevator and wishing you’d taken the stairs as it would have been quicker at this rate, with excitement bubbling in your chest at how you would greet Bucky, accept his apology and forgive him. Then you’d tell him how you feel about him and deal with the rejection when it came to it but right now, all you wanted was your friend back.

Gliding through the automatic sliding doors, the spring in your step propelling forward into the gym and greeting the other gym users with a beaming smile or nod. The approach to the sparring ring had the nerves tickle under your skin and you bit your lip in hopes to ground yourself.

It’s only Bucky, your best friend. He wants you in your life. You reminded yourself and weaved between the agents to look at the spectacle that had gathered such a crowd. Bucky had an agent pinned to the ground, those thick muscular thighs straddled across them and the ones in his bulging bicep rippling as he applied pressure on his forearm against their windpipe.

“Bet they’ve been in that position more than once before,” an agent laughed, joined in by a couple of other peers.

Your stomach twisted at the comment and the sudden movement in the sparring ring had you pausing the step forward. It was her; they’d twisted in the tussle and she was now facing you and straddling Bucky’s hips. She panted above him and attempted to wrap her hand around his neck.

“Oh yeah, they’ve done this before, with a lot fewer clothes.” The agent beside you commented to another chorus of sniggers and laughs.

Nails dug into the palm of your hands as you steeled your nerves, jaw clenched and tongue pressing hard against the roof of your mouth. She glanced up at the murmurs and spotted you, a smirk on her painted lips. You couldn’t stand the sight and spun on your heel, wanting nothing more than to escape, again.

Bucky rolled his head back and saw your retreating figure between the legs of the crowd. Without a second thought, he shoved the agent off him and got to his feet and shoving the people aside in a bid to catch up to you. This couldn’t happen, not again.

You smashed through the doors, almost swinging it off the hinge. You hadn’t even looked back at him and he wasn’t sure if you even knew he was there until he heard a frustrated growl, one he’d never heard from you before. Bucky turned the corner to find you slumped against the wall by the elevator, head hanging low. 

He stepped forward but was stopped by your raised hand, “Please just leave me alone.” 

Bucky’s heart cracked at the defeat in your voice, the way you caved into yourself. Not letting him help with whatever it was you were dealing with. He knew what had happened, saw the agent above him grinning like the cat that got the cream.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Bucky leant his side against the wall, giving you enough space but still able to watch your every move in case you tried to run away again, “Please talk to me.”.

“I was ready to forgive you.” You glared at him, he could see the tears threatening to spill, clinging to your eyelashes and ready to fall.

“Oh sweetheart,” Bucky reached to cup your cheek, but you batted him away and stood up straight as the elevator made its presence known. He went to follow you into the lift but once again, you stopped him with an outstretched arm.

“Don’t call me that! You don’t get to call me that.” You gritted your teeth and took a step back, “Please just leave, James. Go back to your mating ritual or whatever that was out there.”

Bucky was at a loss for words, he knew he’d betrayed your trust when it came to not talking about his sexual rendezvous but now, he was stumped. You were jealous and he finally realised why you hadn’t accepted his gifts. You didn’t want his attention or just his friendship; you wanted his affection, his love and he wanted to give that to you.

You meant the world to him, and yes, he’d broken the number one rule when it comes to friendship, he needed to explain why he did what he did. But first, he needed to get you to listen which was the more difficult part. You were stubborn and closed yourself off whenever someone tried to pry inside that pretty head of yours.

Bucky was willing to get inside, whatever it took, whatever you needed.

“No doll, I’m not leaving you. We need to talk about this.” Bucky stepped past you and pulled you into the elevator.

You knew you wouldn’t be able to shake Bucky, and he’d follow you into your suite. You wanted him to but also didn’t at the same time. Your head and heart were in a conflict that left you frustrated and ready to snap.

The flowers mocked you, the balloons swaying with a smirk and the unopened packages sparkled in knowing. Ignoring the gifts, you strode through the suite and into the dining room with Bucky hot on your heels.

“Please can you give me some space?” You sighed, a hand dragging down your face.

“Okay,” Bucky held his hands up in submission, “look, I know what I did, I betrayed your trust, I know what I said hurt your feelings.”

You scoffed, that was an understatement, turning to look at him and leaning against the kitchen cabinets, hands braced on the counter, knuckles whitening as you tried to maintain your composure.

“I can only hope that one day you’ll forgive me and let me back in, to be on your side again. I should have told you about-”

“Don’t you dare say her name.” You pointed at him. Bucky smirked, making you even angrier than before. “Are you getting a kick out of this?”

“No, of course not, what is wrong with you?” Bucky’s smile faded instantly, and he shook his head, “I’m trying to talk to you and you’re jumping down my throat the second I speak.”

You reared your head back, mouth agape, you knew he was right but considering he dared to say it out loud was enough for your blood to boil over. You went to shove past Bucky, to escape to your bedroom or bathroom but he twisted you both around and pushed you against the wall.

“Will you just stop for one second.” Bucky held your squirming body, “I’m trying to tell you how I feel.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” The tears finally fell as you thought of him loving her, the words stuttering out, “We’re- just- friends.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and leant forward, you pushed his chest in a panic but unable to escape his hold and then raised your hand to punch him. Bucky’s hand closed around your fist before it could hit his cheek and he held your arms above your head. 

“For fuck’s sake Y/N, I’m trying to kiss you.” He growled, his legs pinning your leg in place.

“Still want to kiss me after I tried to punch you?” You were angry and confused. Wasn’t he telling you about his feelings for that woman that was straddling him earlier? “You’re only interested because I met someone else. That I don’t let you get under my skin anymore.”

Bucky growled again and surged forward, this time you didn’t stop his mouth from descending on yours. The bruising kiss relaxed your body into his hold, yet it was fully alert to his flesh hand kneading at your waist and the cool metal cupping your cheek. 

Your mind floated away, all coherence and why you were angry disappeared until Bucky pulled back, leaving you both panting and eyes closed. You suddenly realised that you should stop; your heart was telling you to run but your body demanded more. You wanted him.

You yanked Bucky back to you at the nape of his neck and crashing your lips to his again. Tongues swiped along each of your mouths, teeth nipped at one another. He knew exactly what to do, his tongue swiping against your bottom lip again and he began rocking your hips down against the thick muscle. Warmth bloomed in your tummy from the friction of Bucky’s sweatpants against your clothed core. 

His locks found their way around your fingers and the slight tug elicited a moan from his plump lips, parting you both momentarily. Eyes locked, pupils dilated in lust, and warm heavy breaths filled the space. You were momentarily lost in the feelings, overwhelmed but unsatiated. The anger still simmered in your veins; the venom was heavy on your tongue for what he put you through, but you couldn’t stop yourself anymore. You had to have him, at least once, and it would be on your terms.

You somehow managed to spin the hunk of a super soldier around, pressing his back against the wall. The smell of Bucky; that woodsy musk and sweat overwhelmed your senses, you’d been close to him but not this close. Without thinking you, began peppering wet kisses down the column of his neck, nipping at his collarbone. He tried to explore your body, hands dipping under the hem of your shirt and you almost caved into their search before you pulled away.

Being this close to Bucky, to finally getting somewhat of what you had dreamed of was putting your head in a spin, but you needed to get him out of your system. What better way than to fuck it out? To fall over the precipice of ecstasy and let it wash away your desire and need for him. To move on from one, James Buchanan Barnes.

Bucky’s brows furrowed at the uncertainty that was clearly painting your features, “are you-”

You didn’t want his reassurances right now, you just wanted him to kiss you again, “want you Bucky.”

“I know, but we need to get rid of this first,” Bucky was biting his lip as he pointed at your top.

You nodded and he slowly tugged it over your head, you were too impatient and pushed him back to the wall. Letting him drink in your body while removing your sports bra. The cool air against your skin was welcoming but didn't dampen the fire pooling in your belly. 

You leant in to kiss him again, bringing both of his hands up to your breasts. It was messy, all teeth and tongues as you both fought for dominance. His fingers twisting and teasing at your nipples sent goosebumps across your skin. Bucky’s mouth began to explore your jaw and neck. It felt like he was everywhere, turning you into putty.

Is this what it felt like to be with him? To have him worshiping your body. Your mind flashed back to the moment you saw him pinning that agent against the wall, the way he’d fucked her. It soured the moment and you pulled away.

“Is this what you fucking do? Charm your way into women’s pants?” You were pacing back and forth, “I’m such a fool.”

Bucky hadn’t said a word, he was leaning against the wall and a forlorn look on his face, his hair spiking up every which way. It made your heart flutter and the noticeable erection under his pants was making your mouth water. He didn’t show an ounce of regret, he actually looked enamoured with you. No, it can’t be. You shook the thought from your head, letting the anger morph into passion again.

You strode over, he was ready to catch you the moment you leapt into his arms. Mouths crashing down on one another again in a heated battle. His hands held your back tight to his chest, your core almost, almost, getting what it needed through the material. You were lowered down, your back meeting the coolness of your kitchen table and Bucky kissed between your breasts, your eyes fluttering closed at the pleasure. 

Bucky’s weight disappeared and his body moved away, leaving you cold and alone. You peeked open one eye, a slight fear that he’d have a face of regret but then you saw the look of desire and lopsided smile as he shimmied his pants and boxers to the floor.

He returned to the spot between your legs and, you almost had him where you wanted him as he reached out to pull at your leggings, but his hands paused, resting at your hips. Your brow furrowed, unsure of what he was thinking so you sat up, and he looked anywhere but your face.

You tucked a finger under his chin to bring his attention to you and whispered, “What is it?”

“Are you sure about this?” Bucky quietly asked.

“Of course, I am, I would have kicked you out the moment you got here otherwise.” You smiled and pulled him closer to press your lips to his cheek.

You slowly edged down his jaw line with small light kisses, spurred on by feeling him relax under your touch. Teeth grazed along his pulse, Bucky moaning into the now electrified kitchen. He pulled you to the edge of the table and lifted slightly to remove your leggings, placing you back down gently. 

You fell back against the table while his fingers rubbed over your soaked panties, swirling in rough motions. He swiped the material to the side, his fingers glided through your dripping folds. You were completely consumed by him and the way his fingers pumped and stretched your cunt open while his thumb caressed your clit.

“You’re such a tease.” A mumble of whimpers, profanities, and Bucky, left your lips as you tried to convey your need for him to fuck you, “Please.”

The words were silenced as his cock skimmed over your folds, nudging at your bundle of nerves, teasing you higher and higher into pleasure. It felt like it had been minutes, in reality it was mere seconds, when Bucky finally pushed the tip of his cock into your cunt, walls fluttering and stretching around him.

Gasps fell from both of your lips as Bucky adjusted his weight, shifting deeper inside you slowly with your walls clenching around him. Another thrust forward and he was burying himself to the hilt, filling you up completely. Your cunt was pulsing around him, dripping around his cock with want the moment Bucky grabbed your knee and pulled it up to his shoulder. 

This new angle got him deeper and deeper with every thrust, the table creaking under the movement, you no longer cared, all you could think about was him and the pleasure he was giving you.

Your back arching and head spinning as Bucky kept the pace, unfaltering as you suddenly climbed to the peak of your orgasm. His grunts and skin slapping against skin was pushing you higher and higher. The wood cut into your palm as you held tightly to the edge with each wave of pleasure until you were unreservedly consumed by ecstasy. 

“Fuck, Y/N.” Bucky spluttered, his movements matching his speech, “You’re gonna make me cum too quickly if you keep clenching like that.”

Your grip loosened and traded the wooden table to skim through your folds in search of more and to keep teasing your nipples, and Bucky. You bit your lip, watching him watch you touch yourself whilst he fucked you was turning you on.

Bucky regained his composure with a grunt, pushing your fingers away with his vibranium ones and began circling your clit. The cold metal sent a rush of pleasure across your skin, heating your desire.

“Cum again, I know you got another one in you, Doll.” Bucky smirked above you as he continued to ram into your cunt and flick at your clit in perfect unison.

Your vision blurred and your body keened, letting out a silent scream, you came undone around him. Body shaking as you felt Bucky grip your hips with both hands as he hit you harder and harder until he stilled, unloading inside of you.

“Fuck,” you rasped.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to get you anything or?” Bucky asked, as he collected the scattered clothes around the kitchen.

“I’m fine Bucky, thanks.” You replied, facing away from him, and clipping your bra back in place.

You could feel the tension in the room, and you hoped Bucky hadn’t noticed. You knew he would, he’s not stupid, but you secretly wished that it would be ignored. There were no regrets on your part and you’re sure Bucky enjoyed himself, it just seemed like you’d have to do a lot more talking than before. Maybe you should have started with that instead of letting him kiss you or letting yourself kiss him back.

“Do you want me to stay or go?” Bucky quietly asked as he put on his shirt.

You weren’t surprised at his care before but now you were for the uncertainty that laced his words, once you’d put on your shirt, you turned to him, “Come on Buck, I’m just another one of them, you just happen to know me a little better. It was just sex.”

If it wasn’t for his close proximity, you wouldn’t have heard the words that Bucky whispered; it wasn’t to me.

“What did you just say?” You looked at him in shock, heart racing at the blush forming on his cheeks.

“It wasn’t just sex to me.” He coughed into his hand and rubbed at the back of his neck, “I’ve always loved you Y/N and I’ve told you that a thousand times. Is there any chance we can be something more?”

You chewed on your lip, butterflies erupting in your belly at the prospect of what Bucky was asking, of the potential heart break you might endure. It was clouded by the way she had smirked at you in the gym, the gossip shared by Natasha and the advice Wanda had given you about self-care. It was all blurring into one and you didn’t know what to say or do. You were torn between your head and heart.

“I think it’s going to take more than gifts and sex. We had a frienship, and I trust you with my life but not with my heart.” You paused and tipped his face so you could really look at him, to see him, “I don’t think we can be something right now, but in time, I think we can get there.”

“Can we start over?” Bucky asked, eyes wide in hope as he leant into your palm.

You took a step away and stretched out your hand, “Nice to meet you Sergeant Barnes, I’m Agent Y/L/N. Do you know any decent places around here to get a bite to eat?”

Bucky’s large hand enveloped yours, a soft smile on his lips, “I know just the place.”

The End…

Separation, Connection Tag List: @coffeebooksandfandom / @ababysupernova / @learisa / @joseyrw / @bubblyz / @nadinesabre / @osterfieldshollandgirl / @clarinette07 / @amaltheametalweld / @iloveangstposts / @gogolucky13​ / @ohjammers​ / @justiceiswater​ / @countonthesun​ / @propertyofpoeandbucky​ / @deaan​ / @iloveangstposts​ / @silverarmedassassin​ / 

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[the-insomniac-emporium]

Serenade (Daniela Dimitrescu/Reader) Pt. 11

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T for language Warnings: Nope! Notes: Here we are, a breath away from the end. This features not one, but FOUR songs written by myself. If you only choose to listen to one of them, listen to the final one (Cradle of Heaven), as it is a duet I wrote specifically for this fanfiction, as something that the reader wrote to play together with Daniela. The links to these songs will be within the fanfiction itself, at relevant times. Past Chapters: Pt. 1: Nocturne, Pt. 2: Overture, Pt. 3: Accelerando, Pt. 4: Toccata, Pt. 5: Poco a Poco, Pt. 6: Elegy, Pt. 7: Harmony, Pt. 8: Obbligato, Pt. 9: Berceuse, Pt. 10b: Hymn AMAB

Chapter 11: Cadence

(Cadence: Two chords that mark the end of a song)

The stage is set, the lights are dimmed, your heart pounds within your chest, and the world is yours. Soon, it will be Daniela’s. She is right by your side, as ever, hand gently taking hold of your own. There’s a silent reassurance in her grip, a reminder that the two of you have overcome a plethora of challenges. A promise that this will be no different. Both of you take a deep breath, in sync, before exchanging a quick kiss. All of your hard work has been leading up to the coming moments. Although you are beyond confident in your lover’s abilities, there is a shadow of doubt in the back of your mind. Not for her sake, but surrounding the expectations held by her mother, the standard against which you would be measured.

“Come hell or high water, Songbird, I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise,” Daniela whispers, squeezing your hand again, eyes unblinking as they stare into yours. “You’ve made every right choice, worked harder than anyone I know, and there is nothing more I can ask of you… except another kiss to celebrate afterwards, that is.” Giggling in response gives you the moment you need to relax, nerves fading into the background of your mind. “Now let’s put on a show the likes of which my mother has never seen, mhmm?”

THREE HOURS EARLIER:

“Here, you can borrow my brooch. It’s been in the family for generations, since before we even came to the village, passed down starting with an ancestor who crafted it himself, from materials he scavenged while fleeing his home country,” Daphne rambles, helping you attach the jewelry to your shirt. Thankfully, her hands do not tremble nearly as much as yours have been for the past hour. “I’m more than sure that Lady Daniela will tell you this much, but I feel the need to repeat just how good you look right now. I don’t know where the hell they’ve been hiding this version of our uniform, but damn do I wish I could get one for my next date with Ygritte. Seriously, if you can get one in my size, please do me that favor.”

“Anything for my best friend. Especially after all the times you’ve saved my ass these past few months,” you reply, pausing to give her shoulder an affectionate pat. If not for her constant interference running, someone would have certainly found out about your relationship with Daniela. “Speaking of that… of my life being on the line, I mean… no matter what happens today, no matter what Lady Dimitrescu decides, take care of yourself. You’ve gambled with your own blood to keep me safe, but what I’ve done, what I’ve risked, those were my choices. My consequences. The last thing I’d ever want is for you to pay for them, somehow.”

Rolling her eyes, Daphne gives you a playful shove to the chest, before smoothing out the fabric of your dress uniform. Now she refuses to meet your gaze, a familiar mistiness taking over her brown eyes.

“Nobody around here is stupid enough to think you’ll die today. You managed to get Lady Daniela, of all people, to stay focused long enough to learn some absolutely beautiful pieces of music. You have proved, time and time again, that you are a talented musician, teacher, and ‘servant’. So get out there and kick some metaphorical ass, my friend, because you are ready,” she finally says, offering you what seems to be a handshake. But as soon as your hand meets hers, she’s pulling you in for a hug, holding you tight for a solid minute. When at last you part, you give her what may very well be the last smile she’d ever see gracing your lips.

---------------------------

A hand’s edge against xer forehead, parallel to the ground, kept perfectly flat. From anyone else, it would be mockery. From xer? Honest salute, solidarity in a traditional form, accompanied by a sharp-toothed grin. Mimicking the expression, you wave at Ava, glad to see that xe would be awake for your concert. After your first night with your girlfriend, Daphne had helped arrange for someone to be your “cover story” for sleeping outside of your usual quarters. With Daniela’s input (and jealousy), only one candidate had revealed themselves, in the form of a (conveniently) mute butler with an inconsistent schedule, love of mischief, and somehow the respect of the Dimitrescu family. Now, xe appeared ready to escort you to the location of your trial by fire.

“Are you sure our mutual friend won’t be upset to see the two of us together?” You teased, knowing full well that Ava was one of the only people that Daniela trusted 100% around you. In response, xe gives an exaggerated shrug, then quickly links xer arm with your own. Together you march onwards to your destiny, amused by the way xe practically skipped down the hallway. Maybe there was a certain wisdom to xer shenanigans, a carefree philosophy that encouraged laughter in the face of death, and you embraced the thought with a smile.

Before long, however, the two of you encounter another unlikely pair headed towards the same destination: Lady Cassandra, looking somewhat embarrassed, with an unfamiliar maiden at her side. Their hands are clutching each other desperately, although neither of them dares to look at the other. Instead they both watch you closely from where they’ve paused in the corridor. Oddly unfazed, Ava gives them a short bow of acknowledgement, earning xer a brief nod from Cassandra. Seeming eager to move on, she addresses you quickly before gesturing for you to keep walking.

“Good luck. Don’t fuck this up for Daniela, or I’ll never hear the end of it,” she growls, doing her best to downplay her obvious concern. Wanting to let her keep up with her facade, you merely give a nod as you resume walking towards the concert stage. Soft footsteps behind you let you know that the strange pair are accompanying you. Still walking alongside you, Ava repeatedly glances behind you, putting out xer hands in the shape of a heart, giggling all the while. If you didn’t know any better, you would almost assume that xe wanted to get hit by Cassandra.

“Ava, please calm down. If you’re not careful, she’ll throw something at you. If she does that, you’ll probably dodge, and then I’ll probably end up getting hit, and then I’ll miss the concert, Lady Dimitrescu will kill me as punishment, Daniela will be sad and whiny about it, and none of you will have any peace for, like, a month. Three weeks, bare mims,” you tease, nudging xer in the ribs. Emphasizing a pout, xe sends one last look at Cassandra and her ‘friend’ (whose hand she was still holding onto like a lifeline), mouthing words you couldn’t parse. Based on the way Cassandra groans, it was something ridiculously cheesy. Regardless, xe behaves the rest of the way there…

ONE MINUTE TO SHOWTIME:

“I love you, Firefly, and I know that you’re going to do absolutely amazing out there. I’m so proud of you,” you murmur, pressing a feather-light kiss to Daniela’s cheek. As dearly as you wish to stay behind the curtain, in her arms, you know that the show was inevitable. With one last nod to your beloved, you part the fabric shielding you, stepping into the spotlight. Imaginary crowds grow hushed at your appearance, a sea of faces greeting you warmly. In truth, there are but five members in this audience, each gazing upon you with veiled interest. Donning you best presentation persona, you set this final act in motion. “Lady Dimitrescu, Lady Cassandra, Lady Bela, and Mx. Caldwell, it brings me great pleasure to present to you, on this day, a concert performed by your own Lady Daniela. For three months now I have acted as her instructor, and these three months have been, perhaps, the most rewarding of my entire life. I could not possibly be any more proud of her than I already am. Now, without further ado… let us begin!”

Stepping to the side, a tug of a rope has the curtains parting entirely, revealing your beloved, waiting ready at the piano. All at once your audience (including Cassandra’s partner, acting as a mere servant in the background) sits up with wide smiles. They look Daniela over, taking in the sight of her fanciest dress, and the way her eyes light up with joy. By the time her fingers begin dancing away at the keys, there is not a single ounce of anxiety in your entire soul. This first song is a relic from your past, a representation of an abandoned idea, yet she plays it like a celebration. It’s fast, hits hard, a bold take right out of the gate. Admittedly, it is also somewhat short. Nonetheless, it serves its purpose, igniting a spark of excitement in those present. Once the song ends, Daniela is surprised by the intensity of her family’s applause. In the back of her mind, she trembles with excitement, knowing that the best was yet to come.

Riding this wave of pride, she immediately settles into the next song, something slower but far grander. Affection thrums inside your chest as you watch your pupil perfectly execute another piece. You can only imagine what her mother must be feeling, to see just how far her daughter has come in such a short amount of time. A quick glance in Alcina’s direction reveals the barest hints towards her being impressed. For now that was enough to satisfy you. Soon enough her face would twist in surprise, as the second song ended, and a new face steps up onto the stage: Lady Bela. Wordlessly she retrieves her violin from the back of the stage, then turns to the front with a mischievous smile.

“Now, a duet! Presenting the ever-talented Lady Bela, to join Lady Daniela for a rendition of an original song, dubbed ‘Northern Lights’. Enjoy!” You call out, before once more taking your place at the side. While Daniela did not need you to count her in for her solo performances, this feels ever so slightly more important, and as such you do your best to conduct for the duration of the song. If either of the performers need it, they hide it well. Honestly, you weren’t sure if your girlfriend had looked your way even a single time so far. ‘Twas incredible to witness her. Akin to a siren, near glowing, taking to the stage as if born to grace its center. Even with Bela working her own magic, Daniela is ever the star. Together they weave a lovely song, notes rising high into the air, swirling around an enchanted audience.

When it ends, both performers give a bow, as if the entire affair had come to a close. Without hinting at what was to come, you switch places with the eldest Dimitrescu daughter. A deep breath rattles your ribcage as you find your center, reaching out to take Daniela’s hand, the two of you raising your arms upward in a display of union. For the first time this evening, Lady Alcina narrows her eyes in what feels like disapproval. But you pay her no mind. Instead you sit alongside your beloved, quietly settling into your practiced position.

There is no introduction for this song. No announcement, no showmanship, nor even a countdown into the symphony. Simply, like exhaling a breath, the two of you start to play. Your phrases echo hers, and vice versa, calling and answering, accompanying all the while, natural as anything holy in the wild. ‘Tis the second shortest song of the night, only long enough to showcase the degree of your partnership with Daniela. As the song crescendos into an ending, you manage to meet the gaze of your employer. Perhaps it is merely an illusion of hope, or a reflection of lights above, but you swear you see tears in her eyes.

“Outstanding, incredible,” she praises, rising to her feet alongside her other daughters, clapping all the while. Once again you rise to your feet, hand clasped with Daniela’s, bowing as deeply as you can manage. Before you can even process what’s happening, your girlfriend is being pulled away from you, swept up into the arms of her mother. Desperation digs like a knife into your heart, as you ache to celebrate with her, but you remain ever in the guise of a professional. “You did amazing, my dear. I cannot begin to describe how proud I am.” The family gathers around each other, buzzing with affection fit to make the hardest of hearts melt. You are left on the outside, awkwardly waiting, without a hint of acknowledgment.

Even if this concert was a measure of your skill as a teacher, Lady Dimitrescu had never bothered to consider you more than another servant. This night was about Daniela. About your secret girlfriend, the brightest star in all the skies. That is not something that bothers you, nor does it surprise you. All that makes you wish to weep is the desire to kiss her. To sweep her into your arms, with celebratory kisses, singing her name as a praise to higher powers. In the end, it takes several minutes for Daniela to pull away enough to move back to you, and even then she cannot give you the reaction she yearns for.

“I’ll come by to talk to you tonight, I promise,” she whispers, as she gives you the weakest hug you have ever felt. Then she is returning to her family, clinging to her mother with a massive grin. Soon enough you are left alone on stage, quiet surrounding you, mixed feelings gnawing at the pit of your stomach. Something feels… wrong. You cannot put a name to it. No one has hinted to you what your beloved has planned, for none but her even have a clue. As soon as she is alone with her mother, as soon as she has the smallest sliver of an opportunity, she knows what she must do. “Mother… we need to talk. I... I have a confession to make.”

[bwbatta]

two - persuasion

Abstract: Draco and you are just friends so doing him a favour and pretending to be his girlfriend wouldn’t effect your friendship, right?

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x reader

Warnings: some swears but that’s all!

Word count: 2623

A/N: let’s go for part 2 then?! Thank you so much for all your lovely comments! Everyone who has asked to be on the taglist has been added and if you would like to be on the list, just send me a message! Dividers are by the super talented @firefly-graphics 🤩

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 3

The plan was set.

Draco and you had talked some more about what being ‘in a relationship’ entailed, whilst at the same time avidly avoiding Pansy in your free time. In fact, you were surprised with how little you’d have to change the dynamic between the two of you.

The first point was friendship, which was easy enough you thought. There’s no point in starting a fake relationship if you don’t get on well in the first place.

Second, communication. You agreed to be open and honest with each other, this whole plan wouldn’t work if you weren’t telling each other everything.

And finally third, intimacy.

This one was obvious enough and it was more than just hand holding or sharing the odd kiss or two, you knew that. It was about selling your relationship to be believable to everyone else around you, including your closest friends.

One of which was Hermione.

The plan on paper was simple, you both said you’d start off small and work your way into being a couple, so why did you feel this pit of anxiety in your stomach?

Nerves? Sure, you chalked it down to that.

So when you entered the Great Hall the next morning, late and in desperate need of caffeine, you somehow didn’t expect your ‘boyfriend’ to approach you with a steaming mug of coffee.

You completely missed the blonde boy too as you took your normal seat with a frantic expression on your face. Your roommates didn’t wake you up like they usually did so when you woke and found no one there, you almost screamed when you checked the time.

“Coffee coffee coffee” the mantra on your tongue “where the hell is the coffee?!”

Hermione looked amused as she packed up the book she was previously reading into her bag.

“Ron finished it moments ago, there’s no more”

“What?!” You blanched “there’s none?”

Hermione shook her head, the answer a definite no.

With energy lacking and spirit deflated, you grabbed a couple slices of toast and buttered them quickly, at least trying to put some food in your stomach even if it wasn’t your usual caffeine shot.

However when Hermione froze slightly, eyes narrowly following something behind you with a glare, you frowned at her confused. That was until Draco perched on the seat next to you, holding a mug of coffee between his hands.

“Granger” he greeted in a civil manner causing the witch to freeze in shock, half expecting an offhand snide comment about her blood status. He then turned to you and offered the coffee, “thought you might need this”

“But I thought there was none left!”

“I saved you it”

“You saved me a coffee?”

“Kept it warm too”

You could’ve cried when you took the mug from him and immediately the drink warmed your hands. Eagerly taking a sip, you found the coffee itself was exactly to your liking.

You went to point it out but before a word could leave your lips, Draco rolled his eyes at you with a smile.

“What? You thought I didn’t know how you took your coffee?”

The question was rhetorical, not that you cared. Exhaustion was the only thing you felt that morning up until then, quickly being replaced with utter fondness for the Malfoy boy next to you.

“Thank you” you told him as he grinned back at you

“Don’t mention it”

Draco raised his hand and swiped away a lock of hair which had fallen out of your two second attempt to pin it back this morning in your rush.

Your breath hitched slightly as his eyes found yours and he leaned in towards your ear.

“How am I doing?”

Your brain stalled.

Right.

Of course.

He was acting like he cared about you in front of Hermione.

To convince Hermione.

Who of course, confirmed with a quick glance, was looking between the two of you with suspicion in her eyes.

Quickly painting a smile across your face like he’d said something sweet, you pulled back and shot him a dazzling smile.

“Alright, I guess” you said, vague enough so Hermione wouldn’t clock onto what he really said.

“Good” he grinned back at you before standing from the seat. “I’ll see you after class later, yeah?”

You nodded at him, and with a fond smile at you and a courteous nod to Hermione, he left the two of you be, heading to his first class.

With the thought in the back of your mind that you should probably also get to class, you were stopped by a substantially confused Hermione who looked at you like you’d grown another head.

“Was I just in some parallel universe?”

“What?”

“‘What?’ Seriously, that’s how you’re going to answer that question?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” you shrugged your shoulders before standing and picking up your bag and the mug of coffee from Draco.

“What aren’t you telling me?” The Granger girl continued to interrogate you as she too stood, though with a lot more vigor.

“There’s a lot of things I’m not telling you Hermione, but if it’s anything to do with Draco, I don’t know what you mean”

Striding out the Great Hall, she quickly followed you, pestering for more information which you avoided expertly until you got to your first class you shared.

“Why did Malfoy get you coffee?”

“Because it was a nice thing to do”

“Why was he civil with me?”

“Maybe he’s seen the light”

“(Y/N)! Tell me! I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight otherwise and you know it!”

With a sigh you turned to face her.

Putting on a performance like it was tough for you to keep a secret, you ‘umm’d and ‘ahh’d under her questioning until you really had had enough of the interrogation.

“Okay, fine, we may or may not be dating” you said like it wasn’t a big deal

“What?!”

“Miss Granger!” Professor McGonagall’s voice snapped “if you’re so done with your conversation, perhaps you could start writing your essay?”

“Yes, Professor. Sorry, Professor”

With a glare shot your way, meaning she’d grill you later for information, the bookworm turned back to her work and started writing furiously.

It was later that day that you found out that Lavender Brown had overheard your conversation with Hermione and so naturally, the gossip that you and Draco were dating was spread across the entire school.

Some believed the rumour, others didn’t so much. This of course included Blaise, the Weasley twins, and of course, the ever stubborn Pansy.

When the boys finally cornered each respective friend, they of course had some questions that needed to be addressed. 

Blaise cornered Draco first at Lunch. 

The Malfoy boy had just started to tuck into his food when a book slammed down on the table next to him, startling the boy. 

Blaise pinned him with a hard look.

“Is it true you’re dating (Y/N)?”

“How’d you hear that?!”

“Word gets around fast... so, is it true?”

“Yes it’s true” Draco rolled his eyes at his friend

He was honestly shocked at how quickly the rumour had gone round the castle, though he suspected some of the Gryffindor girls were behind it. They always seemed like they pounced on any gossip going.

This also meant, Pansy had probably heard it by now.

Draco’s interest peaked.

“Who’d you hear it from?” The blonde asked his friend

“Bulstrode of all people” Blaise rolled his eyes “thought I might’ve found out from my friend himself but apparently not”

“Sorry man, it only really happened yesterday”

Blaise waved his apology off

“So tell me, is this for real? It’s not a prank or anything, she knows you think you’re going out with her right?”

“Yes, (Y/N) knows we’re going out” Draco rolled his eyes in exasperation “she’s also not being forced or blackmailed into going out with me if that puts your mind at rest”

This wasn’t technically true and Draco fought the urge to cringe slightly as he remembered the deal he had made with you.

Despite the other copious Christmas presents he had to get you, being civil to Granger wasn’t so bad he remarked. They only shared a few classes, all of which were with you present, so all he really had to do was ignore the fact the muggleborn witch existed and he’d keep his side of the deal up.

“Good” Blaise huffed, finally sitting down next to him “can I ask you something though?”

“You just did”

“Smart arse” Blaise rolled his eyes but continued on “what made you ask her out?”

Draco paused.

You hadn’t actually discussed this so there wasn’t a definite plan on what response to give. The boy trusted himself to come up with a decent answer though so instead of panicking, he said the first thing that popped into his head.

“I’ve been in love with her for years”

Well... he didn’t expect that to be his response.

“You have?” Blaise asked also taken aback

“Umm, yeah, sure, she’s the one for me you know?”

Draco kicked himself once again

Why couldn’t he think straight?!

“She’s just... she’s so funny, you know? One of the funniest people I’ve ever met. Her laugh, man, is enough to make me laugh even harder because have you heard it?! It’s hilarious!”

Unconsciously, Draco began to smile at the thought of you.

“Also, she’s super talented at anything she does, which would be wildly annoying if she wasn’t so modest about it. She’s also the most sarcastic person I’ve ever met, yet also the kindest. She’s got so many good qualities it’s hard to even think about anything bad about her.”

Draco stopped, breaking out of his train of thought.

Now that... that, he really hasn’t expect to be his response.

“I’m glad you’re happy then, Draco” the Zabini boy smiled at him “seems like you really like her”

“Yeah... I do”

You were pounced upon by both the Weasley twins not much later on, both demanding answers.

“You’re dating Malfoy?!”

“As in Draco Malfoy? The ferret?”

“He’s not a ferret!” You rolled your eyes at the pair. “And yes I am. Why? Do you not believe the castle gossip?”

“We heard it-“ Fred began

“Still working on believing it” George finished

You rolled your eyes and continued on to the library, your original destination before you got jumped by the identical redheads.

“Believe what you want” you shrugged trying to play it off.

“See (Y/N), here’s the thing, I don’t know if I believe you’re actually going out with him” Fred stated causing you to frown.

“What do you mean?”

“Freddie here believes you guys are faking it for some reason” George chucked an arm round your shoulders as they continued to walk with you.

“Why would we be faking it?!” You laughed like the idea was ridiculous.

“I just know you wouldn’t go for him” Fred shrugged “your standards are too high.”

“My standards are too high?!”

You were mildly offended at the suggestion, no matter how correct Fred was about the two of you faking your relationship.

Reaching the library quickly, you turned to the boys who had halted at the sight of the only room in the castle they adamantly wouldn’t enter.

“Well, unless your plan is to follow me into the forbidden room of books, I’ll see you guys later?”

Not waiting for an answer you swung open the door, mind now focused on studying for that test you had coming up in Herbology later that week.

“I still don’t believe you!” Fred shouted after you before the door closed shut behind you

All you could do was roll your eyes.

It was dinner later that evening when you saw your ‘boyfriend’ again since breakfast when he’d given you the coffee.

By now, you two were the talk of the castle which is why you weren’t surprised to see a fuming brunette strut up to you. The Slytherin girl looked as if she should have smoke coming out her ears you thought, not that you’d tell her that and anger her even more.

“(Y/N)” Pansy sniffed almost impatiently as she reached you.

“Pansy” you replied innocently which seen fo infuriate her more.

“I heard you’re supposedly dating my boyfriend?”

“Your boyfriend?”

You couldn’t help but phrase the question like you really didn’t know what she was talking about.

“Draco!”

“...Draco?”

“Draco Malfoy!” She practically growled at you

“Ohh, Draco as in my boyfriend?”

“Yes! Wait no-“

You snorted at her slip up and ignored her as you sidestepped and entered the Great Hall spying the familiar mop of platinum blonde hair, sending him a smile,

Before you could make your way over to him though, a hand grabbed your arm with nails roughly digging into your skin.

“Hey, I wasn’t done talking to you” Pansy seethed

“Well I was done talking to you” you shrugged truely bored with the girl “I’d appreciate it now though if you let go of my arm.”

“No, I’m not finishe-“

“Yes you are” Draco cut her off this time

Pansy’s expression looked like her brain had short circuited for a moment before she gathered herself and smiled flirtily at the boy.

“Hey Drakey baby”

“Firstly, for the millionth time, don’t call me that” Draco narrowed his eyes at her into a glare. “Secondly, (Y/N) also asked you to let go of her arm so I suggest you do so.”

At once, like your arm was on fire, Pansy dropped her grip which she had forgotten about as soon as the Malfoy had entered the conversation.

You rubbed your arm as you pulled it to your chest. Pansy’s nails had dug deep and actually split the skin on your arm slightly by the force she had held you by.

“And finally, I’d appreciate it if you’d fuck off and didn’t harass my girlfriend, especially about lies that we’re somehow involved.”

With that being said, Draco wrapped his arm around your waist and escorted you over to the spot he was originally sitting at, letting you take his seat while he forced Crabbe to move down a space so he could sit next to you.

“Thanks for that” you sent him a smile “though I can handle Pansy”

“I know” he replied with a grin of his own “I just needed to get that off my chest. Let me see your arm.”

“It’s nothing-“

“(Y/N)”

With a sigh you reluctantly held out your arm so he could see the damage Pansy had done. Spotting the crescent shaped breaks in your skin, his jaw clenched in anger.

“Psychotic bitch” he mumbled under his breath barely loud enough for you to hear, “episkey”.

The wounds sewed themselves back together in no time and you send him a grateful smile.

“Heard you got cornered by Blaise earlier”.

“Heard the same about you with the Weasley twins”.

“Mmm” you shrugged “there was bound to be a few that didn’t just automatically believe we’re dating. Some might need a little more persuasion, especially Pansy. Also it is still only the first day since the gossip broke though, it might just be that we wait for the news to settle.”

“I guess” he rolled his eyes playing with the pasta on his plate with his fork, before pausing slightly, setting it down and turning to you.

His eyes glanced round the hall quickly before snapping back to you with a grin. Leaning towards you, he wrapped an arm around your waist to pull you slightly closer to him as his lips became level with your ear.

You fought the urge to shiver.

“Or... it just means we’ll have to make it all the more believable, Sweetheart.”

Series Taglist:

(If you’re in bold, tumblr wouldn’t let me tag you ☹️, otherwise if you want to be added, let me know! 🤩):

@weasleytwinswheezes @azkabanlexi @streetfighterrichie @queen-of-the-coven @gdee703 @thatguppienamedbae @crumpets-are-better-with-jam @savcks @remmyswritings @thescarletknight2014 @w0nderr @heyiheardyouwereawildone36 @moonlightorbit @ceeellewrites @nicole-prz @depressedchilipepper @swiftlymoniquesblog

[justalonelyslytherin]

42💡

Thank you for sending in another one 💚

It’s something very different from all the other ideas I talked about. First of all, because this is a Ari Levinson x Reader idea! And second of all because it is an a/b/o story. Now I have a somewhat conflicted relationship with A/B/O verse. For me, it is an extension of the soulmate au/trope (which I love, I can’t get enough of it). I really like the aspect of mates and just biologically/naturally being pulled towards another person. I have the feeling though that the whole trope gets judged a lot, especially for the smut/kink part of it and while I shouldn’t care what other people on the internet think about me, it makes me shy to open up about things like that. I indulge in the whole smut/knotting thing in reading but I’m not really into writing it myself (to be frank I’m too shy to write it or any smut at this point, again fear of being judged also plays a role a bit).

The wip has the title “Beauty idea” which stems from the fact that it is a model!ari levinson x model!reader au, too.

(Divider by firefly-graphics)

It all felt new and somehow…grand. Compared to the lousy little jobs the agency normally sent her to, this was big and exciting. Instead of having her hair and make-up done in a tiny supply closet or on the toilets, this was a proper make-up room. Well, she was in a professional photo studio after all, with a rather famous and well-known photographer. 

The job was big too. A whole campaign for the newest fragrance of a well-known perfume brand. It felt like a jackpot and at the same time it made her sad. It was obvious her modeling agency was able to land bigger jobs, yet she only seemed to land the lowest paid, most boring jobs. Something that didn’t look good in a portfolio and wouldn’t help her land anything better.

It made her doubt her capabilities too. Was she such a bad model? Was she not pretty enough? Not appealing enough? Maybe it was her scent? What if her scent was unattractive and detesting? All this doubt and still she kept trying to make it, to find footing in the industry to fulfill and live her dream.

This was her dream Y/N reminded herself. She wanted to do shoots like this, in well-known and big photo studios, with well-known fashion brands, famous designers, and photographers. This was a glimpse at this dream. But she couldn’t help but feel like a fraud like she didn’t belong here like she hadn’t earned it. Y/N tried to blame her nerves for these thoughts, but she had to also admit she had had luck.

If it hadn’t been for the original model going into an unexpected heat, she would have never been given the job. They had only sent her here because everyone else was already booked and she was the only one left.

The make-up artist clearing her throat startled her. The young beta smiled friendly at her, while she held a small brush in her hand.

“I need you to stop biting your lip, otherwise I can’t apply the lipstick.” She felt heat creep up on her cheeks and even further up to the tips of her ears. Slightly nodding she untucked the bottom one from between her teeth. She knew it was a bad habit but it was so comforting at the same time.

The beta smiled at her before she leaned in and started to brush the soft bristles of the brush against her lip. The color was rather natural, only a couple of shades different from her natural lip color. The entire look seemed to be done to convey that she was wearing no or barely any make-up.

They were all so nice here, which definitely did help with her nerves. Speaking of it, one of the assistants tapped her on the shoulder.

“Since you are filling in I have a question for you. Your colleague already answered this after she was booked.” That made her listen up. What could be the case? Hadn’t she already answered all of their questions earlier too?

“Would you be comfortable kissing the male model we hired?”, she asked, “During the shoot?”

Y/N hesitated. She was taken aback by the question in the first place. There hadn’t been a lot of shoots for her with other models, male models even less. She had always said no before and they had just pretended to almost kiss. There certainly were a couple of ways and angles to fake it.

The assistant seemed to sense her apprehension and pointed across the room.

“That’s him.” 

Y/N followed the pointing finger across the room. Up until now, she had been alone with the hair and make-up artists, but the door to the room had opened again. In came none other than Ari Levinson. One of the most known and sought male models the industry currently had.

She had to be dreaming. That couldn’t be him taking a seat in the hairstylist’s chair. But it was. It was him in the flesh. For a brief moment their eyes met and when they did he gave her a polite nod before he focused his attention on the stylist.

Not only was she surprised by his beauty - he was even more stunning in person, the pictures couldn’t do him justice - but also by his scent. It had spread everywhere the second he had entered the room, penetrating every object and surface and fickle of air there was. Its strength and fullness made her tingly and dizzy. Her head turned with the sweetness and headiness of it. It was delicious and enticing. Warmth spread through her and left her entirely speechless.

And then she recognized him. It truly was him. There was no doubt. The hairstylist calling him Ari only confirmed it further.

“Soo?”, the assistant drew out the word awkwardly.

“Y-yeah,” she mumbled without even realizing she was agreeing.

“Great!” The enthusiasm startled her out of her hypnosis. The moment she left Y/N realized what had just happened. And now it was too late to change her mind. She had agreed to kiss her modeling partner. And not just any modeling partner but Ari Levinson.

[mxpseudonym]

Just Good Business II

Pairing: Tommy x Reader

Reader Gender Expression: She/Her pronouns, "wife”

Summary: After your arranged marriage with Tommy Shelby, Tommy is MIA while you become one of the Shelby’s

Length: 1549 words (allegedly)

Warnings: Overtones of forced/arranged marriage, otherwise strong “My husband is clueless” vibes

A/N: Part III is very likely!

Part I | Part III

--

As far as things that sounded interesting went, marriage wasn't one of them. Sure, the lead up was fun enough, but a wedding wasn't a marriage, that was for sure. Your first few months with Tommy only confirmed it. 

You'd consummated your marriage on your wedding night, and even once more, when you decided that sharing the master bedroom was a must. But after that, Tommy was always gone. Over three months, you could count the number of times Tommy came to bed on two hands, and the times you actually woke up next to him on one. If he wasn't in London or Birmingham, which was nearly always, he was locked away in the home office. More than upset, though, it made you curious.

"He does everything on his own, for better or worse," Polly said when you got the Shelby women together for tea.

"Head as hard as a rock," Ada tsked Tommy, who wasn't there to defend himself. 

In Tommy's absence, you found yourself getting to know the rest of the Shelby's. It wasn't just relocating from many of your friends and your dubious relationship with your own family that made you cling to them. On occasion, when they allowed themselves to be, the Shelby’s were a lot of fun. 

"I can't!" You jumped back from the horse troughs and the goldfish swimming inside with a laugh. 

"Stop being a scaredy-cat, y/n," Finn teased, expertly picking up a fish with his bare hands. "You can't even touch one." 

"Lady's aren't used to slummin' it, Finn," Isaiah said, nudging his friend with his elbow. Along with meeting Ada for talks about politics and occasionally drinking John under the table, you'd gotten into the habit of throwing big picnics for your new nieces and nephews birthdays. John's small army allowed for two in a month, but that didn't stop you from rallying the troops. Between getting to frolic around the gardens barefoot and teaching the children how to catch fireflies, this was your favorite part about being married. Fish, however, was where your steady nerve stalled a bit.

"It's not too bad, sister," Arthur urged you. Tommy's older brother was sweeter than you imagined. You weren't a fool, you'd asked about the Peaky Blinders during your London escapades. Arthur being comparable to a rabid dog was amongst the rumors. But here he was, kneeling by the troughs and guiding your hand into the paths of goldfish. 

"You're okay. Just take a deep breath," Arthur said when you almost pulled away. The soft scales brushed against your fingertips making you shiver, but Finn and Isaiah's cheers of encouragement kept you going until you did it yourself. Arthur cleared his throat while you tried cupping your palms around one. 

"How's my brother treatin' you?" he asked.

"I don't see him much, but pretty well, I suppose. Big house, lovely new brothers, who's to complain?" You shrugged. 

"If Tommy gives you any trouble, you let us know," Finn said, high fiving Isaiah, who was shaking his head.

"Alright, simmer down, Finn," Arthur murmured, then turned back to you. "He's right, though. We'll talk sense into Tommy."

"Not that you can't do it on your own, Mrs. Shelby. The way Tommy talks about you, I bet you're keeping him in line," Isaiah joked. Arthur gave him a warning look while you raised an eyebrow. How did Tommy talk about you?

"Aunt y/n!" Katie came running around the corner, stopping any questions you may have had.

"Hello, birthday girl!" You hugged her when she was close enough. She really was a spitting image of John. 

"Can we eat cake?" She asked. 

"Yes, we can eat cake." 

The cake was eaten, gifts were opened, and Ada had just joined the children in a game of tag when Francis, the head of the house staff, came to you with word that your husband was home. 

People of habit always stay that way, so finding Tommy in his office was easy. Tommy was just about to pour a glass of whiskey when you entered after a brief knock. 

"You know, knocking doesn't mean you can just enter," Tommy said, looking over your birthday attire. It included a flower crown from Katie and no stockings. 

"Oh? What does it mean, then, Thomas?" You asked with more snap than expected. You did actually tell him about the birthdays. Whether or not he showed up was dependent on the stars aligning. He sat down the glass and turned to you with a sigh. 

"Alright, have at it. Go on and tell me your grievances."

There were so many things to say, you hardly knew which to choose first. Where the hell have you been? Where do you get off not greeting anyone in the house before hiding away? Are your manners lost somewhere alongside your damn mind leading to such a greeting? But the bridge of his nose was pinched between his thumb and forefinger, so you weighed your options and chose the most important one.

"Did you wish Katie a happy birthday?" You asked. He wasn't expecting that, you could tell. 

"No, not yet."

"Come on, then." You walked to the door and held it open until he walked out first. Seeing Tommy kiss Katie's cheek and slip her a coin was satisfactory enough, so you quickly got swept into the shenanigans going on by the gramophone. Polly told you that you looked wilder that day, and like one of the family. She also mentioned on her way out that Tommy stayed for a bit and could hardly take his eyes off of you while you danced with the kids. 

"Polly," you warned. The all-knowing matriarch put her hands up as a white flag.

"There are worse things than your husband loving you and vice versa," Polly said, ever so sly.

Love? After washing up, you thought about what she said while browsing the downstairs library. Of course, there was nothing wrong with loving your spouse, some would even say it was preferred. Even if one of you had something to confess, what did it matter?

"I'm sure you have some things to say to me," Tommy's voice broke through your thoughts and gave you a start.

"Fucking hell!"

"I did knock," he said, smirking a little. You looked over the robe and slippers you'd gotten him, knowing it made him feel too posh but not being able to resist a bit of teasing in retaliation for being ignored. 

"It's alright, I was just grabbing a book." You picked one up and walked towards him. "All I have to say is I don't like the way you talked to me earlier. I don't care how stressed you are." 

"I'm sorry," he apologized with no hesitation. You nodded and went to leave, only for Tommy to stop you. He pulled you back, his hands on your waist. Nothing prepared you for your husband wrapping his arms around your middle and resting his cheek against your belly. You slowly wrapped your arms around his shoulders. 

"Are you alright? Has something happened?" 

"I've got blood on my hands, y/n. Done things I'm not proud of," he murmured. You could only just make out what he was saying. "And I don't stop. I want you to be angry with me for bringing you along with this and putting you up in my house then leaving you alone. Talking to you how I did and putting you and everyone in danger." After a moment, you let out a chuckle.

"Thomas, what the fuck are you talking about?" You couldn't help it really, even when you looked down to see those distressed blue eyes. You pressed the back of your hand on his cheeks and forehead. "Are you ill, Sir?"

"I'm not. I mean it y/n, you've no idea what's gone on." Tommy shook his head and rested it on your stomach again. You scoffed at the man. 

"First of all, you haven't put me up in your house, you've put me up in my house, remember? I just let you live here sometimes," you reminded him of whose name was on the deed. It was for the sake of business, but it was also a gift. Tommy let the corner of his mouth tug up a bit. 

"Second, if you think your wife is dense, think again. Did you think I wouldn't do a bit of research? Ask around? I don't just sit around all day, Polly does like to keep me active, Tom. Plus, one of my mates works at that rum bakery, you think I don't keep tabs on you?" You gave him a knowing look. If you could catch him before he was out the door, you'd have already given him a lecture on getting involved with Alfie Solomons. 

"Ah," Tommy hummed. "That's why you told me to tighten up on security."

"Mmhm. Third of all," you grasped Tommy's face and made him look at you. "When I agreed to marry you, did I ask you where your hands have been?"

"No." 

"No." You shook your head. "And maybe that's my burden to bear, but I'll always look out for myself, don't worry. And I'm not scared of blood, Mr. Shelby." You leaned down and kissed his forehead. 

"Clever, bloody woman," Tommy murmured. 

"The cleverest," You agreed.

--

Tommy Tag List: @soleil-dor

[tlou-1]

Joel x Reader (Home) - Chapter 13

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6| Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13| Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 TBA

Chapter 13 - You have some news to share with Joel, but how do you tell him about the potential of a child in your lives? He has a big secret to share also, one that he has been keeping for a while. Will you be able to reconcile once you know these things about each other? 

‘How were you supposed to tell him this?’ You think to yourself as you walk back home. The Doctor had promised you had her complete confidentiality, so that you had time to think about what you wanted to do. What did you want to do? You remember the conversation you had with Joel over month ago and he never sounded sure if this was something he wanted but could you bring yourself to get rid of it? It was part of you and him, this little thing inside you. 

“How’d it go?” Joel asks looking up from his almost read book. You were so caught up in your thoughts you hadn’t realised you had made it all the way home and through the front door. 

“Like I said, foot was perfectly fine” you smile at him. Could he tell something about you was different? Could he tell you knew something he didn’t?

“I have dinner ready, if you’re hungry” Joel moves into the kitchen to ready the table, guess he couldn’t tell. 

“That sounds great” you reply as you remove your shoes and boots. 

Dinner is pretty quiet between you both, Ellie wasn’t joining you tonight and was off with her friends. 

“So there was something I wanted to talk to you about” he sits back in his chair putting his knife and fork down. Joel begins tapping his foot and rubbing his hands along the top of jeans, a sign you knew meant he was uncomfortable or nervous. You feel your heart in your mouth, 'he knows’ you think.

“I wanted to tell you this before we got married but there wasn’t much time” he sighs. Growing impatient with your own nerves you push him to spit it out “Joel, what’s going on?”.

As far you were told since you met him - he and Ellie had met after her friend Marlene died. He from then on looked after her and they set on a path to get here to Jackson, where he knew his brother Tommy had created a safer community, somewhere Ellie could grow up. 

Joel leaps into the story, the real story that he never told you about Ellie being bitten, her immunity, trying to get her to the fireflies, what happened when he did, what he did and how he lied to Ellie. Once he finishes you sit for a minute, maybe more trying to let everything sink in. 

You sit forward and put your finger on the table, emphasising each word that comes out your mouth 

“You’re telling me, she has no idea what happened?” You ask.

“No I told her immunity meant nothing. I couldn’t let them - I saved her.” Joel says in a pleading tone.

“I can understand what you did Joel, I cant say I wouldn’t have done the same.  I love that girl… but to lie to her and to me” you trail off. It was all too much, knowing you were pregnant and being burdened with the knowledge of this too. You get up from your seat to put some space between you and Joel, he tries to follow but you put your hand out signalling him to stay put. 

“I didn’t want us to have secrets between each other, christ Y/N you’re my wife!” His voice breaks slightly. You look at Joel, his body stiff, his eyes watery and his hands shifting uncomfortably as he wants to reach out to you. 

“Oh so we can’t have secrets between us but its okay for you to pull me into this huge lie with Ellie? No” Your voice breaks and you start for the door.

You begin putting on your jacket and boots, “Where are you going baby?” He asks standing sheepishly in the doorway. 

“My sister’s, I can’t stay here right now. I will only say something I regret” you gulp. He protests, offering to sleep on the sofa, to give you space but you are resigned that you won’t be spending the night here. 

The Next Morning ____________

You wake up lying across from your sister, tucked under a blanker. You had sat up with her all night, of course you couldn’t tell her about what Joel had told you but you did let your other secret slip, you were pregnant. 

“It’s not so bad Y/N, I always wanted to be an aunt and you’d make a great mother. If that’s what you want of course” Molly said rubbing your arm.

“I know - It’s just been a shock and well Joel…” you decide to stop there, explain you’re tired and would like to go to sleep.  

Before either of you could get up there was a knocking at Molly’s door. She offers to go get it whilst you get dressed, you had patrol today with Joel and as much as you didn’t want to go, you would have to, how could you explain why you didn't want to? Molly answers the door to find Joel standing, looking tired and slightly dishevelled. 

“Morning Molly, Is she here?” He asks quietly. 

“She is, she’s just getting ready for patrol” Molly sighs. Joel replies with a simple okay and it falls silent between them for a bit as you head downstairs.

“You’re her husband Joel, you have to support her with whatever decision she makes. You got to look after“ you sharply make your way to the door so Molly cant say anymore. You thank her for having you for the night and you Joel set off on patrol in complete silence. 

When you finally reach the post and are signing in Joel finally breaks the silence “What was she talking about back there?” He asks leaning over the paper not making eye contact. 

“Molly? Nothing” You say dismissively looking out the window, the hills were covered in white snow. 

“You’re a terrible liar, Y/N. Always have been” Joel exhales and crosses his arms. His eyes staring at you waiting for you to break.

“At least one of us is” you mutter under your breath at him.

“Why don’t I get to lie like you hmm?” You question.

“I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell your the truth” he says perching against the table. 

“Oh, pshh. You think you are going to get out of this on a fucking technicality?” You scold him and he has nothing to say again. You don’t know why but you just blurt it out “I am pregnant Joel”. Maybe it was out of anger or to get a reaction from him.

He uncrosses his arms slowly and puts his hands on the table to steady himself, he looks as shocked as you did last night. 

“And you didn’t think you should tell me? Now who’s been lying to who?” He blurts out.

“You Bastard! That’s different and you know it. I wanted to tell you - I was about to tell you before you dropped this bomb on me!” You shout waving you hands in exclamation. 

“I am sorry” Joel exhales placing the bridge of his nose between two fingers, shaking his head. 

“Do you want to keep it?” He asks quietly looking up from his hands, and for the first time you had to give an answer “I think so. Do you want this baby? Your opinion matters too”. You ask him. Were you mad at him? Furious. Could you forgive him? Eventually, in time. Did you love him? Completely, even when you were furious with him.

“I - It’s not exactly the ideal environment for a child…” he says almost as quiet as a whisper. 

‘Oh god’ you think, “You don’t want to do it, do you?” You sit yourself down on the seat at the table putting your head in between your legs… you feel you might be sick.

Joel sighs and crouches in front of you so as that he is looking up at you, “It’s not as simple as that Y/N, it’s not that I don’t want us to have it. I can’t think of anything better, its just in these circumstances… we really got to think this through”.

“I know that” you say finally lifting your head from your legs. 

“I love you” he smiles softly and all you can say is “I know”.  You head for home. 

A couple days later and you and Joel still hadn’t decided together what you were going to do. Yes you wanted to have the baby but not on your own and you didn’t want to force Joel into it either. He has left to meet with Tommy and Ellie outside of Jackson, something about Ellie needing new guitar strings. Things had been slightly off between Joel and Ellie but the last thing they would need is you getting involved. Looking at the clock you would have expected them back by now, it had been almost two hours longer than you would have expected.

“Where are they boy?” You ask Bruce who is sitting at your feet, tail wagging. You paced the house trying to find something to do for half an hour before you say “Fuck this” and head for the stables. You sneak in and take one of the horses, if Maria heard you were setting out on your own she would have stopped you. 

You find the usual path to the music store blocked off and Ellie and Joel’s horses tied up outside a hotel. ‘They must have tried to make their way through here’ you think. 

As you enter the hotel, you can hear gunfire from a far and make your way towards it just hoping you could make it to your family in time to help. You keep quiet to avoid any infected but move swiftly. You can hear Joel and Ellie now that the gunfire had stopped, their voices were slightly raised at each other. “Is there something else you’d like to rehash?” You hear Joel say in a stern voice. 

You are about to enter the room when an infected comes running at you in the hallway, you aim and put a bullet right through its head just as Joel and Ellie come busting out the room guns pointed in your direction. 

“What the hell are you doing out here?” Joel yells at you, “We could have shot you!”. 

“You two had been gone for way too long, I was worried you had ran into trouble. Obviously you did” you sigh putting your pistol back in your holster. 

“You shouldn’t be coming out here in your condition, what if something had happened?” He exclaims, he seemed pretty frustrated. Ellie is looking between you both confused “Her condition?”, but you don’t respond to her question and Joel gives her a look.

“Joel, enough nothing happened. We are all still in one piece” 

“I will sort the bodies to take back to Jackson” Ellie leaves you both in the hallway to talk. She is still in earshot, as if Joel would let her leave his sight otherwise but you lower your voice.

“Bodies?” you ask and Joel explains that he and Ellie had found the young couple that left Jackson.

“Oh, their poor families.” You whisper.

“Yeah and we are still in one piece for now but we still have to get back. Were you even thinking about the baby when you rushed out here?” He huffs with arms crossed.

“I thought - we haven’t even decided what we are doing yet. I couldn’t not come after my family thinking something had happened to you” You say taking a step closer to Joel.

“Lets just get back home” He turns on his heels and goes to help Ellie. 

When you arrive back home after breaking the news to the family of the kids you had found, you feel heavy and tired. Joel is still taking his jacket off when you crash onto the sofa, leaning back into the soft cushion comforting your sore back.

“You scared the shit out of me Y/N” Joel says from the hallway. You close your eyes and exhale deeply. There isn’t much more you could say on the matter, you would always protect Ellie and Joel.

When you open your eyes Joel is standing right in front of you “I wasn’t just worried about you… I - I was worried about the baby”.

That afternoon had been the first time he used the word ‘baby’ when talking about the situation. You stand up and take his hands “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to make you worry, alright”. 

“Y/N I think I do want this child. Today when I thought something might have happened to either of you” but Joel can’t finish that sentence.

“Really, we are going to do this then?” You couldn’t help but smile slightly.

“We are doing this” he says pressing his lips to your forehead.   

[unprofessional-bard]

Chapter 4 - The Grown-Ups

Losing My Religion Series Masterlist

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

Previous Chapter • Next Chapter

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader/OC

Warnings: Fluff and angst on equal amounts // mentions of depression.

Summary: The long awaited confrontation finally happens between Joel and the reader, Ellie not so completely oblivious to what happened between them. The reader sorts things out with the older Miller and Walt but things don't go as expected.

Word Count: 5.263

Author's Note: The chapter name is from the 12th episode of Mad Men's third season... most of my chapter names are already named after Mad Men episodes bc why not? I also feel like I couldn't write this chapter very well so I'm sorry if you're confused about some stuff but I'm currently working to fix those in the next chapter!

Enjoy!

"Holy shit," you gasped lightly, then quickly looked through your rifle's scope to make sure that those people were actually who you thought they were: "Open the gates! They're friendlies!"

"You know them?" Walt asked while you ran down the stairs and greeted your visitors who were none other than Joel and Ellie.

"Of course!" You replied and watched as Ellie's smile stretched to her ears.

"(Y/N)!" Ellie exclaimed and quickly walked over to you. You opened your arms with a soft Oh, Ellie and caught her in your embrace. "Aw man, it's good to see you."

"You too, darling, you too," You smiled, relief washing over you like a whole tsunami. "It is so good to see you Ellie."

You heard the door close after Joel walked over to the both of you. As glad as you were to have them back in Jackson, you hadn't forgotten about Joel's behaviour before he had left.

"(Y/N)," Joel cleared his throat. His voice, oh how you'd missed that voice of his, made you look up as Walt approached you all.

"Joel," You greeted him in a less excited tone, which made Joel look away with slight guilt on his face.

"I'm sensing some history here..." Walt commented quietly, which you ignored.

"I'm gonna take them to Tommy, I'll be right back," You spoke and turned around, holding a confused Ellie's hand and walking away. Joel gave Walt an ugly glare, then began tailing you.

You'd be lying if you said you'd forgotten about Joel - you thought of him when you thought of Ellie. Here he was now- here they both were, in the flesh, which made you incredibly happy. You knew you couldn't stay mad at him for too long, you had unintentionally grown a soft spot for the man, who saved you and gave you his water. You'd be forever grateful for him, even though he was an ex-Hunter. You remember the day Tommy had revealed it to you: Both of you were chatting and patrolling around town back in February and the topic was why the brothers had disagreed. You had stopped walking when he mentioned Joel was a Hunter before he became a Smuggler.

"You probably noticed the way he fights, he's good at killin' people in many brutal ways... The way he handled things? It just didn't sit right with me. After the Fireflies, I didn't look for him. Came here instead, you know the rest."

You couldn't belive you'd been travelling with a Hunter - you should've known, like Tommy had said, he was too brutal.

You had a few awful days after that, not leaving your house and bed. You had cried, slept and thought about everything, but eventually moved on, thinking you were never going to see him again anyway, that it was pointless to be upset about it any longer. Yet here he was, walking behind you.

Ellie talked all the way to Tommy's office, tried involving Joel from time to time but gave up eventually. Your mood improved instantly thanks to her though, you'd really missed the little rascal.

"Tommy, look who I have here," you spoke when you entered his office. Maria was there too and greetings were exchanged as you waited by the door.

"I have a house saved for y'all," Tommy said, his mood also better than it had been in a while. "Dolly, will you take them there?"

"Dolly?" Joel raised a brow as you threw daggers at the younger Miller with your glare.

"She'll tell you about it on the way," Tommy smirked as you led them out of the office. Ellie asked why he called you Dolly the moment you stepped out.

"I, uh..." you sighed. "I sung 'Jolene' at the diner one night-"

"Dolly, as in Dolly Parton?" Joel chuckled but you just rolled your eyes.

"Apparently I sung a little too well, they didn't take an ex-spec-ops for a singer," you ran your fingers through your hair.

"You should sing again sometime, maybe Joel will play the guitar-"

"Ellie." you hissed and Joel growled at the same time, which only caused her to smile wider.

Ellie requested to stay at the empty shed behind Joel's house instead of staying in with him, which you didn't understand but didn't ask about either. You showed Joel to his house and as he looked around you waited at the front door.

"Home sweet home..."

"Right," Joel hummed awkwardly.

"Well, I'll leave you to it," you sighed and turned to leave but Joel stopped you.

"Wait, uh... I-"

"Dolly!" Walt suddenly appeared out of nowhere. "You lucky gal, they ended your shift early for today. I was looking for you but if you're busy..."

Godfuckingdammit. You pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed, exasperated: "No, no, I was just leaving."

Walt was a bastard and knew better, of course: "No worries Doll, come to my place later eh?"

And just like that he skipped away with a grin on his face. You closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose again when Joel spoke: "Seems like you fit here just fine-"

"What do you want?" You groaned, already unnerved by his poor attempts at making conversation, but regretted it.

"Look I just wanted to... I was being an ass that day and-" he slowly got closer to you, but you took a step back. "I'm sorry, is what I was tryin' to say. I was just- It wasn't my place to say those things and uh, I hope I can make it up to you somehow... Some day."

You were impressed. Quite impressed as you weren't expecting to get an actual apology out of him. You looked him up and down, pissed at him a little but mostly feeling awkward, then sighed after a few nerve wracking seconds: "You're an asshole alright," you looked away and hugged your waist. "And damn right it wasn't your place to say those things..."

"Well, uh," After giving him a look in the eye, you saw that he was actually looking quite guilty. It made your soft spot act up, his hazel eyes boring into yours apologetically; for a few more torturous seconds, whatever pride you had left crashed with all the good he's done for you, eventually making you say: "Look. The moment you left I thought I'd never see you again, a part of me disagreed but here you are. You could say I'm over it but... Eh, nevermind... I'll see you at dinner, I guess?"

Joel was dumbfounded for a moment, but he immediately cleared his throat and nodded: "Yeah, alright..."

Instead of going over to Walt's, you immediately found Maria, who was still with Tommy at his office. You thanked them for giving you the day off when Tommy smirked and leaned on the table.

"What?" You gave him an annoyed look.

"He's not going to leave your tail until you smile the tiniest smile to his face." He said, crossing his arms.

Dinner was awkward. You gladly gave all your attention to Ellie, ignoring the men at the table; Joel was sat on Ellie's left, you were on her right and Walt was on yours. You were tense and Ellie could clearly see it on your face.

"Dolly-" Walt attempted to whisper, but you cut him off immediately.

"Please stop calling me that," Only Ellie seemed to have heard the exchange as the chatter around the table continued.

"(Y/N)?" Ellie suddenly intervened, not sure about what to say.

"Yeah, Ells?" You put a smile on your face before turning to her.

"Uhh- when can I see your house?" Ellie blurted out.

"Now if you're done with your dinner- Or tomorrow, if you're too tired of course." You said while practically begging her to pick 'now' with your eyes.

"Let's go!" Ellie smiled awkwardly and got up, drawing attention.

"Where are you going?" Joel inquired the moment she got up.

"(Y/N)'s going to show me her house," Ellie pushed her chair in and grabbed her empty plate, practically running off to the kitchen while you slowly got up.

"The energy she has," You shook your head and forced a smile when people gave you a quizzical look, then walked off to the kitchen with your plate.

"Thanks for that Ellie," You sighed the moment you two stepped outside the house.

"You were squirming on your seat - that Walt guy was making you uncomfortable so I thought-"

"Oh," You interrupted her, beginning to walk. "He wasn't actually. We- I mean I had an awkward moment and I'm kind of struggling to look him in the eyes now."

"... So you're uncomfortable?"

"Well, yeah but- it's just so awkward?" You struggled to find the right words, eventually giving up and telling her what had happened between you and him while going over to your place. Ellie grinned and listened and when you finally got to your doorsteps, she turned to you and said:

"What I got out from all of this, is that you say Walt, but your eyes are on someone else..."

"What the hell does that supposed to mean?" You looked at her in disbelief. How on earth was she coming up with these lines?

"I think you know who I mean," Ellie just smirked and walked in through the door. You just stared at her, dumbfounded, then followed her inside. She liked your house and asked if she could stop by from time to time, to which you replied Of course, I'd like nothing more, but your garden stole the show for her.

"Wait until you see it in the morning," you smiled as she looked around as best as she could with the streetlights illuminating the garden. You two talked a little more, which made you feel like her age again. Talking to Ellie without feeling awkward came to you naturally and it was obvious that she appreciated how you were attentive toward her. Around ten minutes later, there was a knock on your door.

"I'll get it," you chuckled when she huffed. It was Joel.

"Uh, hi," He muttered awkwardly.

"Hi..."

"It got a bit suffocating in there." Joel explained. "Went out for some fresh air and decided to take a walk around when I heard Ellie's voice..."

"Wanna come in?" You asked, opening the door wider.

"Don't let me interrupt-"

"Nonsense." You opened the door fully, internally cursing at yourself: What the fuck are you doing? "It is suffocating in there, we thought we could escape for awhile."

Joel stood at the doorway: "It's better if we go back actually."

"You're right, it'll be rude." You nodded and called Ellie.

"Your boyfriend doesn't like me very much." Joel offered a small smile as you both waited for Ellie to grab her backpack.

"He's not my boyfriend," You sighed, exasperated.

"Right, sorry... he just gets a little too involved when the topic is you."

You gave him a look, confused: "Involved how? Were you talking about m-"

"Do we have to go?" Ellie interrupted you, looking at Joel.

"Just this one night kiddo," Joel patted her shoulder as she passed through the door. The both of you shared a final look -Joel's was unsure and yours was suspicious- before you closed the door.

That's pretty much how everything began again. You begged asked Maria to change your patrol partner for awhile, not really wanting to deal with this new, curious side of Walt when you were too embarrassed to look him in the eye because of your rejection. What he didn't know was you became more and more torn between him and Joel every day. You could say your soft spot went wild as Joel did exactly as Tommy said he'd do: He tried to be around you as much as possible. He took advantage of your closeness with Ellie to take a better look at how you viewed him. Were you hostile, netural or actually good with him? He definitely could see your behaviour toward him and only him had changed as you treated Ellie the same as before.

He was curious about you - even if Tommy had told him a little of you. He wondered how you were, how you had been and what you did in Jackson and he wanted to hear them from you.

After patrolling for a whole week and avoiding people as best as you can while you cleared your mind, you finally approached Joel and Walt - on different occasions, of course.

You came across Joel first. Walking past his place while on your way to Walt's, you decided you should get it out of the way while you were at it. You knocked on his door and waited patiently. He was really surprised when he saw you.

"Hey," It was you who offered a smile this time.

"Hey," Joel, quite shocked. "Uh, Ellie's not in-"

"I know," You quickly interrupted him. "I'm here for you, actually."

"Me?"

"Yeah... I wanted to see you." You smacked your forehead mentally but kept your composure, immediately adding: "We, uh- couldn't really talk ever since you two came back, so... I figured I should stop by."

You don't think you could ever get Joel to look this surprised if you tried: "Yeah," he cleared his throat and put an arm on the door frame, leaning on it. "Yeah, uh, sure."

"I need to do something right now, but if you're not busy, why don't you come over to my place?" You asked, expression soft.

"Uh, I dunno, I-"

"I've got some coffee," You smiled. "The weather is nice- the sunset particularly favours my garden in exactly half an hour."

Joel looked down, bit his lip as if he was thinking about his options, then smiled shyly: "How can I say no to that?"

You chuckled and nodded before walking away: "I'll be waiting, cowboy."

Joel's cheeks were dusted pink, but fortunately for him, you didn't see it. He just stared, still dumbfounded at what happened, but he didn't complain - even if it took a torturous week, he finally knew you were good with him.

Your cheeks were no different, glowing red under the sun as you walked over to Walt's place. You knocked on the door and called his name, but he wasn't there. Just as you turned around, you saw Bonnie and Walt approaching, holding each other's hands. You pursed your lips at the sight, shoving your hands into the back pockets of your jeans. Walt froze when he saw you, letting Bonnie's hand go: "(Y/N)?"

"Hey," the edges of your lips turned up, still pursed. "I- I wanted to talk to you, but if you're busy-"

"Oh, no it's fine," Walt climbed up to the porch with Bonnie, letting her in: "It won't take too long, just wait for me okay?"

"Okay," Bonnie nodded, giving the both of you an odd look before going in.

"I don't wanna take up your time-" You stood across him.

"No, no-" Walt reassured you with his hands doing a stop motion. "We couldn't talk properly- I don't blame you. I never apologized for calling you Dolly and-"

"No, it wasn't about that." You interrupted him this time. "I needed some time to collect my thoughts about- stuff- and I was paired up with Eugene this week so, I wanted to apologise for not sparing time for you."

Walt's cheeks reddened lightly at your words: "Oh- no it's totally fine. Nothing to apologise for, really. You- You're lost in work again eh?"

You sighed, relieved, then smiled and nodded: "Yeah, you could say that..."

"Listen," Walt straightened his posture a little. "How 'bout we make it up to each other, huh? Come over tonight and we'll talk over dinner- you can tell me about this Joel guy and everything else I've missed?"

Your expression morphed into a partly angry one as you crossed your arms: "Why are you so interested in Joel all of a sudden? What do you care about our 'history'? I told you everything I went through with him already- no more, no less."

"I- well- I'm not?" Walt took a step back but you stood your ground.

"Don't." You said in a stern tone. "Did you really think he wouldn't tell me about how you had been acting towards him?"

"Even if we did have a history, it wouldn't have been your concern." You added, frowning when he stayed silent.

"We tell each other everything, why are you so squeamish about this all of a sudden?" Walt blurted out defensively.

You stared at him, then scrunched up your face: "You don't even tell me you've got a thing with Bonnie, blame me for not taking notice and you think you have a right to know what happened between him and I? Please..."

You immediately began walking down the porch: "(Y/N), I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like-"

"Of course you didn't," You growled and turned around. "Just- let's not talk for awhile, okay?"

You heard him call your name but you didn't mind, walking away, fists clenched. What is wrong with him?

You felt like beating the shit out of slapping him - it was the first time you two had an argument. You had indeed told him everything there was to tell about your time with Joel, leaving out certain details like that time in the cabin, because he wasn't as curious about Joel as he was now. You didn't think those details were necessary either, you were developing a crush on Walt at that time and the thought of Joel distracted you from that. But you forced yourself to move on as you were convinced that you'd seen the last of the smuggler and that you'd never have a chance with him. Little had you known...

When you reached your house and checked the time, you saw that there was still some time before Joel arrived: The thought calmed you down a little, so you decided to clean up the tiny mess in your room and wash your face to cool off. You changed into a thin, off-the-shoulder sweater once you were done with the cleaning around. You really liked the color and it was ideal for a weather like this. Just as you started making the coffee, there was a loud knock on your door. You tensed and listened, trying to figure out who it was when the person behind the door announced who they were: "(Y/N)? It's Joel."

You walked over to the door and with a deep breath, opened to see him in his brown jacket, which looked like it was made for him: "Hey."

"Hey," You gave him a genuine smile and stepped back after a moment of staring into his eyes: "Come on in."

Joel walked in, heart beating faster than he'd like to admit. He quietly observed his surroundings as you closed the door and led him to your kitchen: "You're in a good mood."

"I always am," You said jokingly, suddenly feeling bad for giving him the cold shoulder for a whole week. "It'll be ready in a few minutes, follow me."

He nodded and followed you out of the kitchen, through your bedroom to the balcony. His eyes got caught on the picture of you and Kurt (which was now framed and stood on your nightstand) before he walked out. Joel's brows raised as he saw the scenery before him: Your garden was almost as big as your house itself and it truly looked gorgeous with the sun shining down on it. You waited for him to sit down, him not being able to take his eyes off the piece of heaven as he did.

"You like it?" You asked shyly.

"You were right," he nodded, appreciative. "A beautiful garden you have here."

You simply smiled and looked at his hands on the table before speaking: "I really don't know where to start."

Joel chuckled: "Well then, let me start with a how are you? and continue with how are things?"

You smiled, a little embarrassed, then put your arms on the table, hands right across his. You thought on the conversation you had with Walt a few minutes back, which made you want to scream because the difference between him and Joel was just-

"I'm fine," You nodded. "I've been better but I've also been much worse. I'm not complaining. Things are... complicated on the side, but mainly good. Better now that you two are here." Joel smiled slightly before you continued: "What about you? My goodness, there are so many things I wanna ask. Didn't want to ask Ellie about them, her mood changed when I tried talking about it this one time..."

"Yeah, well," Joel shifted in his seat, pulled one arm down onto his lap. It reminded you of the time when you two first met in the tower: "She went through a lot."

"From the way you speak, so have you." Your smile slowly disappeared.

"It wasn't a pleasant journey," Joel sighed, looking away.

You gulped, feeling a little guilty but also very upset. You couldn't even begin to imagine the trauma they had to endure on their journey: "Look, we don't gotta talk about it. You can tell me whenever you're ready, okay?"

Joel gave you a sad but surprised look: "Okay."

You suddenly got up, went to the kitchen, leaving Joel confused; coming back with two mugs of coffee a minute later: "I know this'll cheer you up."

Joel almost melted away when the smell of coffee filled his lungs: "It sure will."

You sat across him as he brought the cup to his lips and blew on the liquid: "God, I'd gladly kill for this. Thank you."

You giggled and watched him take a sip, face twisting when his tongue burned. The butterflies in your stomach changed colours as your attraction and soft spot for Joel settled somewhere in your chest. After how Walt acted today- you didn't want to jump to conclusions on an impulse, but he offended you and since he had a girlfriend now: You knew that even if you have a chance with him it was going to be much later. You didn't know how long him and Bonnie were going to last, but now with Joel taking back his place in your thoughts, you noticed how you worried a little less about your her and Walt. Plus, who's to say he wouldn't pull off some stupid shit like that whenever you were around Joel? You felt like you had perceived him in a wrong way, as if he had more to him than it seemed.

Joel, on the other hand, seemed so natural. You knew there was also more to him than he showed - but in a good way. Someone had to melt the ice around his heart to bring out the soft side. Other than that, he was just... Joel. Grumpy, protective guy with an awful past, which had shaped him as a person throughout the years. You knew of those awful events, you also mostly knew what to say to him, but more of what not to say. He appeared as though he had lost his humanity a long time ago like many other people, but you knew that his wasn't lost, just buried beneath layers of walls. However, you were sure that Jackson was going to see to the destruction of those walls and bring out the human in him. He already showed hints of that soft side you thought so much about by the smallest gestures, you were certain there was more to come.

"So," Joel leaned back on his chair, mood significantly improved. "How is everything? How do you get along in Jackson?"

"Pretty good, I'd say." You nodded. "It's hard to adapt to at first, but the people are decent. They accept you when they see that your intentions are good and that you just wanna help... Plus, they feed you until you can't breathe, which I think is nice for Ellie."

"Yeah," Joel chuckled.

"Other kids gave her odd looks when she saw all the food standing there and stuffed it in her backpack, but, I think this girl called Cat likes her already."

Joel smirked and took another sip of his 'medicine'. He had no doubts that the kids around Jackson were a big help for you to complete your healing process and settle down. He saw from time to time how the kids enjoyed being around you and even admired you.

"Miss (Y/N)?" A boy named Jesse had approached you and Ellie two days ago.

"Hey Jesse," you smiled warmly, moving your rifle from your chest to your back. "Have you met Ellie?"

"Hi," Ellie smiled awkwardly and extended her hand over to him.

"Hi," Jesse smiled back shyly and shook her hand. Ellie then saw Joel and went over to his side while you slightly kneeled in front of Jesse.

"Could you do me a favour?" You smiled and Jesse nodded eagerly. "Will you and the others include Ellie whenever you're hanging out? She may seem reluctant but she'll come around once she gets used to this place."

Just then, another girl named Cat approached you both: "I like her, she seems nice."

You smiled and fixed your posture, then thanked them both before they ran off to some place, looking after them a moment too long. When you turned around, eyes searching for Ellie, your eyes locked with Joel's. Your smile stayed on your lips as you stared at each other for a moment, then you walked away. Joel absolutely admired the way you were with children, he could almost say you were more comfortable with them comparing to adults.

You sat in silence for awhile, enjoying each other's company, but it got ruined with another knock on your door. You flinched, anxiety going up once more as you got up, leaving Joel confused once more.

"(Y/N)? Please answer the door, let's sort this out?" It was Walt.

You stayed silent and listened to him knock on the door loudly. You really weren't in the mood to deal with him even though you agreed that it had to be sorted out.

"What's going on?" Joel asked, voice deep and laced with worry and confusion. He slowly walked towards you from the bedroom as you turned around to face him, leaning your back on the door. What the hell were you supposed to do now?

"Go back to the garden, I've got thi-"

"(Y/N)? Come on, don't act like this..."

You closed your eyes and sighed, cursing at your situation: "Please, Joel." You whispered. "Just wait in there and let me handle this real quick."

He did as you told and stepped inside the living room before you opened the door: "Look, I told you to not talk to me for awhile. It's a part of the 'sorting out' process if you didn't understand. I need to cool my head-"

"But I feel terrible," Walt insisted. "You're not busy right now, let's just sort this o-"

"She is busy," You heard Joel's southern drawl call out from behind you. "She has guests over."

Thank god, you thought. You didn't know if he said guests on purpose, but it clearly made Walt think that Joel wasn't the only person there.

You froze as Walt's eyes moved up to Joel's, then back to yours: "Well, don't let me interrupt."

"Damn right," You growled, getting angry at his attitude. "Get your goddamn priorities straight and go back. We'll talk when it's time."

You shut the door and let out and exasperated sigh, leaning your back on the door once more. Joel put his hands on his hips and stared at you, a soft smile playing on his lips: "Leaves his girlfriend at home after we fight and I tell him to leave me alone just so he can come 'n talk to me..."

Joel chortled in amusement, his voice filling your ears like a bucket of water on a small fire: "Glad you find this so entertaining!"

"No, nothing like that," Joel gave you a charming smile. "You wanna talk about it?"

Your eyes slightly widened as Joel chuckled quietly, following you back to the balcony. You quickly explained what happened before he got here and he nodded but eventually asked:

"Why exactly were you avoiding him?"

You took a big, long sip of your coffee to hide the redness of your cheeks: "Something happened which made me feel real embarrassed. He was unaware of course. I couldn't face him; but then you arrived a day later and he got a little too curious about you."

"Why?" Joel gave you a displeased look.

"He thought that we had some sort of history, if you get my meaning." Joel sighed and you rubbed your temples. "I don't know why he's so interested all of a sudden. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was jealous."

"Maybe he is," Joel hummed and crossed his arms. "I saw the way he looks at you- and me. He adores you, but despises me."

"What?" You giggled as if you were saying are you out of your mind? "I mean, we're good friends, nothing more. He's with Bonnie."

Joel raised his brows and pursed his lips: "Well, we'll see I guess."

"What are you saying?" You said after a moment of silence, leaning forward a little, voice hushed as you gazed into his hazel orbs.

"I'm saying," Joel sat up and leaned forward as well. "You won't see much more of them if we keep this up."

"Keep what up? Having coffee and catching up?" You licked your lips and shook your head. "You saved my life all those months ago, Joel..."

"I know," He nodded, voice low and husky.

"You're an important person to me whether Walt likes it or not- I don't really care what he thinks, in fact. I'm grateful for everything you've done for me."

Shut up! What is wrong with you?!

"(Y/N)..." Joel blinked, blushing lightly. The sun had disappeared and the sky was turning a dark shade of blue.

"I don't-" You leaned back. "I was supposed to die in that building. I wasn't supposed to survive, come here and start again. But you and Ellie saved me and Tommy and Maria helped me get better. How can I not be grateful for any of you?"

Joel gazed at you, a meaningful look on his face, full of emotion. He was grateful that he'd found you and saved you too: If it weren't for you, he or -more importantly-Ellie would've been dead on many occasions. You cared for and took care of both of them like a guardian angel. You may not be aware, but you helped Joel keep calm on many occasions, even when he didn't trust you completely. You always kept your head up and saw to everyone's survival - didn't matter if it cost you an arm or a leg. You were loyal and caring- human. Tommy had told him of your health conditions and everything you've done to get better, which gave Joel a heads up when approaching you... knowing what and what not to say to you.

Maybe he was supposed to find you in that building. Maybe you were meant to survive and be a part of their lives- his life.

Maybe it was meant to be.

[heroicadventurists]

Robin 80 ***spoilers***

Robin 80 was a wonderful celebration of the first sidekick... the Boy Wonder... Robin. This issue consisted of 10 stories focusing on the different iterations of Robin. While Carrie Kelley received a pinup in the issue, she did not receive her own story. Robin 80 focused on the five canon Robins. While some are upset that Duke was not included in this lineup, he was never an official Robin to Batman. If we count Duke, we have to count all of the "We Are Robin" crew. When given the choice by Batman, Duke chose to pave his own path as his own hero, which is commendable. Dick received 4 out of the 10 stories in this issue, which was fitting considering it is also his 80 year anniversay. My favorite thing about this issue was the acknowledgement that Bruce adopted the male Robins. Below I rank the stories in Robin 80 from my least favorite to my favorite.

10. Dick Grayson, Nightwing in Aftershocks

Writer: Chuck Dixon

Starting off my list is Aftershocks.  This story follows Dick after he has quit being Robin, and has assumed his new identity, Nightwing.  This story highlights perfectly how Dick operates as a solo hero.  He is brave, quick on his feet, witty, and of course, he saves the day.  This was a good one-shot but it didn’t have the impact that some of the other stories in this issue had.  However, it did serve it’s purpose of showing Dick coming into his own.

9. Nightwing and The Titans in Team Building

Writer: Devin Grayson

Like Aftershocks, this story serves to show how Dick operates as a team leader. He was smart, strategic, capable and decisive.  He was everything you want in a team lead.  As before, this was a good one-shot, but it also lacked the emotional impact that other stories on this list had. 

8. Dick Grayson, Agent 37 in The Lesson Plan

Writers: Tim Seely and Tom King

Like Aftershocks and Team Building, this story follows Dick as Agent 37.  In this story he is a mentor to a young recruit named Paris.  He gives her lessons throughout the story that contradict every lesson Batman ever taught him.  When he gets to the final lesson, he tells her the one thing that he agreed with Batman on “Ignore Your Mentor.  Do What You Do Best”.  One thing I really appreciate about the stories focusing on Dick is that each story is a progression in his vigilante career.  He has an actual arc in Robin 80.

7. The Supersons in My Best Friend

Writer: Peter J Tomasi

This was an adorable story about how Jon views his friendship with Damian.  Damian is a lot more vulnerable when he is with Jon, and honestly, he acts like the kid that he is.  This was a lighthearted and sweet story that shows a different side to our current Robin.

6. Tim Drake, Robin III in Extra Credit

Writer: Adam Beechen

This was a wonderful piece that highlighted how awesome Tim is.  For so many, Tim is their Robin, and it was nice to see him getting recognition in this comic. 

5. Stephanie Brown, Robin IV in Fitting In

Writer: Amy Wolfram

Out of all of the stories in this issue, Stephanie’s story made me think the most.  There was a very deep meaning behind this story once you get past the surface level.  So let’s breakdown this story.  The story begins with Stephanie showing up late to a training session.  She suits up in one of Tim’s old costumes.  Of course there are issues with this and Stephanie is busting out of the seams (not because she’s overweight but because she has breast, butt and thighs to contend with).  She complains about her hand-me-down costume while Bruce focuses on training.  Even with her top busted, Bruce is still training.  He even has the nerve to tell Stephanie she is distracted. Alfred shows up with Dick’s old costume as a replacement, and Steph asks for something “without a cup”.  Bruce FINALLY makes Stephanie a suit fit for a young lady, but when she puts on her new costume, Bruce tells her “no more excuses”.   Let that sink in.  He saw her complaints about wearing a male costume as an excuse not to train.  Let’s carry on.  They go to Western Town to take on Firefly.  The villain du jour does not take Stephanie seriously and calls her “Cosplay Girl”.  Stephanie is rash during the fight and does not follow Batman’s orders, resulting in her capture by Firefly.  She is able to avert disaster (barely) and saves the day, but Batman still chides her. 

Batman: “Tim would have waited outside”

Robin (Stephanie): “I’m not Tim!”

Batman: “I know”

Stephanie tells Bruce that she wants to be her own Robin and to stop trying to make her into something she’s not.  Bruce hears her and makes her a special closet in the batcave with her own costumes. This seems like a step in the right direction but we know how her Robin story ends.

At no point in this story did I feel like Stephanie was being sexualized.  it was more awkward and embarrassing than anything else. Neither Bruce nor Alfred said anything inappropriate to Steph, and no skin or nipples were shown thru her shirt.  She was just in a predicament where her costume was too tight because Bruce was making her wear Tim’s old costume.  And that was the point of the story (at least for me).  Bruce wasn’t trying to find a replacement Robin, he was trying to find a replacement Tim, and eventually get Tim back.

Bruce has a bad habit of trying to replace people in his life.  He did this with Jason and he did it with Stephanie, and the results where dang near the same.  Bruce replaced Dick with a direct copy, down to the hair color, race and costume.  Bruce was trying to do the same with Stephanie, however it was unsuccessful for obvious reasons.    This story really made me think about all the extra pressure Bruce put on Steph and Jason by trying to have them live up to Tim and Dick respectively.  Instead of playing up their strengths and letting them define what type of Robin they wanted to be, he wanted them to be replicas of their predecessors.    Both results turned out in disaster with Jason dying and Stephanie nearly being killed after she was fired. To me this story highlights how badly Bruce tried to use Stephanie to get to Tim.  It makes absolutely no sense that he wouldn’t make her a costume to fit her body.  But is it surprising b/c he did the same thing to Jason.  To me this story was a lot deeper than Stephanie busting out of her top.  It was about 1.  Bruce’s need to get Tim back 2.  Bruce’s lack of respect for Stephanie and 3.  Stephanie’s disastrous run as Robin.  Say what you will but she held the mantle for less than 3 months and almost died trying to prove herself to Bruce.  Stephanie never got a fair shake at being Robin, and this story highlights that perfectly.  She was literally setup to fail. Maybe I have overthought this story, but those are the points I got from it, and they are important points to be made, which is why it takes the # 5 spot.

4. Dick Grayson, Robin in A Little Nudge

Writer: Marv Wolfman

This is a story about a boy becoming a man and setting off on his own journey. In this story, we see Batman and Robin clashing on patrol, as Batman wants Robin to fall in line and Robin wants to make his own decisions. The issue ends with Dick thanking Bruce for everything he has done for him but leaving the nest to become his own hero. Bruce knew this day was coming, and instead of talking to Dick, he purposely picked small fights with him so he could make that step on his own.

3. Damian Wayne, Robin: Son of Batman in Bat and Mouse

Writer Robbie Thompson

This story lands in my #3 spot This story focuses on the fundamental differences between Damian and Bruce. Bruce knows that something is going on with Damian, he just can't figure out what it is. He wants to fix it but he doesn't know how. He can't rely on Alfred, as this story takes place after his death. On Damian's part, he is blaming everything on Bruce instead of taking responsibility for his own actions. While some see Damian's current storyline as a regression, I see a lost kid with no guidance. Alfred is dead, Dick is Ric and Bruce is emotionally inept. Jason tried to step-up, but that relationship soured quickly. Damian has no one to guide him, and is making bad decisions as a result. This story sets up the eventual showdown in the upcoming Teen Titans annual.

2. Jason Todd, Red Hood in More Time

Writer: Judd Winick

I was not expecting Jason to have the most heartfelt story in this issue. This story was beautiful and now I want Judd Winick to write another Red Hood miniseries or ongoing. This story highlighted the complicated relationship between Jason and Bruce in the most purest way I've ever seen. Even the artwork had an innocence to it. The story goes back and forth between a young Jason, who loves Bruce wholeheartedly, and an older Jason, whose relationship with Bruce is way more complicated and strained. This story highlights why Jason will always be a part of the Batfamily, because even with their complicated relationship, they love each other. This story just adds to the wonderful stories featuring Jason in 2020.

1. Tim Drake, Red Robin in Boy Wonders

Writer: James Tynion IV

The brotherly bonding in this story is what landed it in the # 1 spot. This story takes place prior to Detective Comics # 934. In this story, Tim cannot decide if he wants to attend college or join Bruce in forming the Gotham Knights. He seeks advice from Dick, Jason and Damian, with each one telling him something different. Dick tells Tim that he's a hero that the next generation can look up to. Jason essentially tells Tim that Bruce is stuck in his ways and he has the opportunity to be better than Bruce. The best advice however came from the little Gremlin in Tim's life. After some well placed insults, Damian tells Tim that he has accomplished everything he has set out to do, and has been successful in his endeavors. At the end of the day "You do anything you damn well please". The confirmations Tim received from his brothers was much needed for him and helped him make the decision to form the Gotham Knights with Bruce. I loved getting a "behind the scenes" look at how The Gotham Knights protocol was formed. Because of these factors, Boy Wonders has my #1 spot.

What is your favorite story from Robin 80?

[firefly-in-darkness]

Honey

Pairing →  Steve Rogers x Reader

Characters →  Marvel Characters.

Summary → Y/N has her mind set on hooking up with Steve Rogers, the only problem is that they’re in the middle of an Awards Ceremony.

Word Count → 1.6k

Prompt → Don’t Marry Her by Beautiful South for @cockslut-padalecki‘s Not My Ninth Challenge. 

SSB2021 Square Fill → More than Meets the Eye - @star-spangled-bingo

Warnings → 18+. Implied Cheating, Angst, Smut. Swearing.

Betas → @daydream3r-xo & @kalesrebellion // all mistakes are my own.

Firefly’s Masterlist // Star Spangled Bingo 2021

Y/N’s plan was fool proof. Tonight was the night she’d bag Steve Rogers, Captain America, America’s Ass and Golden Boy. Throughout the awards ceremony, she gave him a subtle smile or a seductive drag of her necklace to focus his attention to her exposed decolletage. On occasion, she’d catch the lust-filled glances when she bit down her bottom lip, fingers skimming the plunging neckline of the designer gown.

The intermission between the awards gave her the perfect opportunity to pounce; Steve was standing alone at the bar, his hands in the black slacks as he spoke jovially with the bartender. Gosh, he’s so sweet, Y/N pondered as she circled the beautifully decorated tables full of beaming smiles and chattering guests.

Y/N was ready to strike, only a couple of tables away, when Natasha also joined them at the bar, a wave of guilt seeped into her bones as she watched the redhead fix Steve’s bowtie. It would have been cute if Y/N hadn’t already known about their shared history and battles. 

The fully stocked bar was now calling her name, like a bumblebee seeking out its nectar. Y/N threw all caution to the wind to get something to dull the ache and nerves that crept up her skin. As she ordered her drink, Y/N kept a close eye on the pair, through the mirror at the bar, they were only a few feet away and she didn’t want to bring too much attention to herself.

After a kiss to Steve’s cheek, Natasha left his side to join Clint and Tony at their table. That’s right, Y/N didn’t get to sit with the Avengers, she was just a SHIELD agent after all. She gulped back the fiery bourbon, an attempt to wash away the bitterness from the table arrangements and how the press only wanted to see the team. Not the background lackeys.

“Something on your mind Y/N?” Steve’s voice brought her out of the glare she was boring into the mirror.

“Oh, Captain, I’m sorry. I was a million miles away.” Y/N waved her hand and a coquettishly smile formed on her rouged lips.

“I’ve told you before, please call me Steve.” He gestured to the barstool and Y/N obliged, knees knocking together with his as she took the seat, “I’m not as much of the fuddy-duddy that the team makes me out to be.”

Y/N giggled behind her hand at his choice of words before she straightened up, she couldn’t embarrass herself, this was the perfect moment, “and why are you hiding out over here instead of with your teammates?”

Steve glanced over to the Avengers; hundreds of eyes trained on them, photographers flashing away at each moment and the fans asking for autographs, “Well, I’ll let you into a little secret.”

She bit her lip and leaned closer, her hand resting on his knee. The excitement of being this close and touching Steve almost bubbled over in another giggle.

“I’m not a big fan of all that, and I’m probably going to head out of here soon.” Steve winked at her.

Y/N’s cheeks tingled at his gaze and she couldn’t help the way hers became entranced at the way his tongue poked out and swiped across his bottom lip. Snapping out of the haze, Y/N took to the floor, grabbing her skirt in one hand and Steve’s in the other.

He didn’t stop her but followed her blindly through the doors that the catering staff had entered into the ballroom. Zig zagging through the back rooms before finding a secluded spot. Y/N’s heart hammered in her chest as she tried to regain her breath.

To her surprise, and a small yelp later, Steve pulled open a supply closet door and tugged her in after him, “god, I’ve wanted to do this all night. All week.”

Y/N’s mind raced while Steve pulled her body flush to his in the dark. His cologne took over all her senses and the soft strokes of his fingers against her neck made her preen into the touch. Steve’s mouth crashed down to hers, a heated fray of lips, tongue and teeth as the passion ignited in them both. A few moments later, he pulled away, the pair of them panting in the confined space.

“I think about you all the time,” Steve whispered and nibbled at Y/N’s earlobe.

“Even though you have a fiancé?” Y/N gripped onto his biceps while he ravished her neck, humming in response to her question.

“Especially when she’s just lying there in bed, watching television without any thought for my needs.” Steve peppered kisses against the swell of her breasts. “There’s always an ‘I told you so’ after I do something rash.”

 Y/N quivered under his touch, all excitement pooling at her core, “He never listens.”

“Don’t go back to him.” Steve demanded.

“Don’t marry her.” She countered.

In a swift motion, Steve had pulled up her skirt, and lifted Y/N, hooking her legs around his hips. Steve’s hardened length underneath the soft material of his slacks pressed to her core, moans dripped from the lips that had attached to his neck.

Y/N’s kisses led to a confession, “I can’t forget that night when we had that mission in San Francisco Bay. It was perfect.”

“Oh, honey, I’d never forget,” Steve growled against Y/N’s sternum. 

“That’s a new pet name, honey.” She whimpered.

Before Steve could unzip his pants, they heard a knock. Y/N and Steve instantly pulled away and looked at one another in the near darkness. Then a third knock followed by a continuous wrap of knuckles.

The door was yanked open wide to an exasperated Tony Stark and Sam Wilson glaring at them both before the door was slammed shut in shock by Tony. It didn’t close, only opened up again, showing their widened eyes at the compromising position they had caught Y/N and Steve in. 

The door finally pulled to a close, a line of light from the way it hadn’t clicked shut. The pair gave each other sheepish smiles but didn’t move. How were they going to explain what was going on? That they were making out, on the verge of having sex in a cupboard.

A light knock on the door was followed by Sam’s muffled voice, “I think you’d better come out now.”

A blush had formed on Steve’s cheeks, a red tinge crept its way down his neck and the space Y/N had created from yanking apart his tie and collar. Fear was evident in Steve’s eyes, but there was still a mischievous glint in the dilated blues.

Y/N’s eyes widened in panic, knowing that she would look as equally dishevelled, if not more. Lipstick was smeared around her mouth and her hair no longer neatly tucked into the intricately pinned updo. Teeth dug into her bottom lip as she straightened Steve’s tie and smoothed down the evening gown, luckily unwrinkled.

Tentatively, she pushed down the handle and opened the door to the cleaning supply cupboard and met the disappointed brown eyes and folded arms of Sam Wilson. Steve followed behind, his hands on her waist before dropping at the sight of Sam’s glare now directed at him. Both felt like naughty school children, and they should really because what they were doing was wrong and they’d been caught out. 

“You better start explaining what the hell is going on right now.” Sam scolded, his stare unwavering from the pair. “Steve, you’re engaged for Christ's sake.”

Y/N went to speak but clammed up, opening, and closing her mouth. Guilt at being caught gnawed away at her stomach, while she focused on the floor and not looking at Steve or her superiors.

“Well, are you going to explain yourselves?” Tony looked between them, disappointment evident in his tone. “Now that your scandal is out in the open, care to share with the class?” 

Y/N sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, knowing there was no way out of this, “So here’s the thing, we both realised that we find these events boring so we came up with a list of things to spice it up a bit.”

“Are you serious, kid?” Tony shook his head, turned to Steve, “And I expected better of your righteous ass.”

Y/N nodded meekly at Tony, no longer able to speak from the disappointment and guilt she felt for what they had done. This wasn’t Steve, or her, for that matter. They’d just gone with the moment, caught up in it all.

Tony looked at his watch, “You both have an award to present in, oh, two minutes. Get yourselves cleaned up. Move it.”

Both walked away from the scolding looks, feeling like a pair of kids caught eating ice cream before dinner. Except this was much worse. Y/N snuck a glance to Steve, who swaggered away from Tony and Sam, a smug grin plastered on his face. She pulled her lips in, trying to hide the smile that was creeping up.

Sam called, “Y/N, you’re forgetting something.”

Y/N turned around, her brow pulled together in confusion until Sam lifted his left hand and pointed at his ring finger. Realisation dawned on her and she scrambled into her purse to find the sparkling diamond.

“Let me,” Steve took the ring from her and held out her hand, gently putting it into its rightful place. “Now that we’ve crossed off roleplay. What’s next on our List of Rebellious Deeds?”

Y/N rolled her eyes, and looped her arm through his, “come on honey, we can get back to what we were about to do in the closet the second we are home. No rebellion required.”

Everything Tag List: @kitkatd7 / @fandomfic-galore / @writerwrites / @thefridgeismybestie / @wedonttalkaboutitenough / @courtneychicken

Marvel Tag List: @natasha-danvers / @little-baby-vixen / @stuckonjbbarnes / @starlightcrystalline / @nekoannie-chan / @hailhydra920 / @vollzeitliebe / @fitzsimmons-is-forever / @ladyacrasia / @emmabarnes

[holylulusworld]

The third man (2) - The brand-new toy

Summary: You and Bucky rule the underworld of the whole of New York, always grasping for more. When your eyes land on a brand-new toy, you can’t resist. Will the golden boy, New York’s highly decorated Detective fall for you and the games you play?

Pairing: Mobster!Bucky x Mobster!Reader, Cop!Steve x Mobster!Reader, possible Mobster!Bucky x Mobster!Reader x Cop!Steve

Characters: Tony Stark 

Warnings: angst, mobster business, illegal activities, foul language, seduction, lies, smut, unprotected sex, mentions of sexual intercourse (implied), voyeurism, jealousy, masturbation

A/N: Please be aware this series has nothing to do with the movie “the third man”. The title will make sense in later chapters. 😉

A/N2: Divider by @firefly-graphics

“What did Tony bear say?” Giggling you run your foot over Bucky’s chest, a dirty grin on your lips when he grabs your foot to suckle at your toes.

Water splashes out of the bathtub, but you don’t care. Not when your husband rubs around your bundle of nerves. “Bucky…god, you are insatiable…”

“Only with you, doll. Now back to business…” Disappointed you purse your lips when Bucky tries to talk to you about business instead of fucking you.

“No! I want to ride you while you tell me everything Tony said. Be my good husband and I’ll let you do the thing with thing you like so much.” Snickering you straddle Bucky’s lap. “Look who’s hard for his wife.”

His hands press against your lower back, just resting them there while you raise your hips to line his cock up with your entrance. “Baby doll, don’t make me go crazy…”

“Would never dream off doing so.” Being the devil in disguise again you painfully slowly sink down his length. “Feels so good Buck’, maybe I forget about Rogers?”

“No, you won’t, dirty girl. In a week you’ll beg me to help you corrupt the poor guy. I bet he will be putty in your greedy hands.” You rock your hips slowly, savoring the way Bucky fills you perfectly.

“You’re still the best…” Moans fill the room, along with the sound of water splashing out of the bathtub when you move faster on top of your husband. “The only one holding my heart…”

“I know you want Rogers but be careful this time. Rumlow was easy to get rid of. He was a small-town gangster.” Humming you wrap your arms around Bucky’s neck to hold tight onto him when your husband starts to fuck up into you.

“Oh-right there, baby. Don’t stop…don’t…fuck…fuck…” Your teeth sink into your lower lip feeling your high ripple through your body. “Love it when you cum inside of me.”

“Love to cum inside of you…” You peck his neck, just holding Bucky pressed to your body. “Love you…”

“Love you too. It’s just... Why can’t I stop playing?” Bucky falls silent before he clears his throat.

“We are kinky?” Your husband offers and you nod silently. “I don’t know, doll. It makes me go crazy seeing someone else touch you but at the same time, it makes me rock-hard. Do you want to fuck Rogers or just play with him?”

“Rumlow was a toy to play with and Tony, well he was fun for a while and a great investment. He’s still my Tony bear.” Laughing Bucky presses his lips to your neck. “I only love you, Buck…”

“I know you do, doll.” For a while, you just stay like that. Tangled in each other you let the minutes tick by. “Tony said Rogers believes I hurt you. He also said we can play with Steve, but not harm him.”

“I don’t want to harm him, Bucky. He’s just so shiny and new. I want to make him dirty and rotten. When I am done with him, he’ll yearn for me in a way Stevie will never understand.” Bucky loves your evil way to get what you want.

“You didn’t hurt Tony. He’s a cop too, Y/N.”

“Tony was never a problem, baby. He’s hopelessly in love with my cunt. One snap of my fingers and he is my good boy…and yours…” Bucky smirks, remembering Tony’s submissive side.

“Tony is reliable, not a liability as Brock was. That drooling bastard never knew his place.” Hissing at your failure’s name you look at your husband.

“It was my fault, Bucky. I was the one choosing the wrong guy. He was my first after we had fun with Wanda.”

You still remember the wild nights with Wanda and Natasha. It was a natural connection drawing you to them. “Pity they married and want an ‘ordinary’ life…”

“I missed them too…especially the thing they did with you when I was only allowed to watch,” Bucky smirks when you start to squirm in his lap. “I enjoyed it, tho.”

“I did too, baby. Now, tell me about Tony and his weekly report.”

“Looks good. The clubs are still profitable and the deal with Thor went smooth. Still, I miss Loki and his bad jokes.”

Poking Bucky’s biceps you give him a dirty grin. “I mean, he was a snake, but reliable. A pity Rogers brought him down six months ago.” Glancing at the papers in Bucky’s hands you sigh.

“You hated Loki. Thor is the better partner and not interested in killing us. Loki was always one step from shooting you, Bucky.” Nodding your husband closes the folder.

“Tony likes Rogers. I don’t know if we should involve him with your game this time. What if Tony decides your cute ass ain’t worth Roger's downfall?” For the first time, you worry about your plan.

Tony was an easy prey. He always had a thing for you and Bucky. One thing led to another and you ended up in a ménage a Trois for a while until you decided he’s better off with Pepper Potts.

“Let me sleep about it, baby. Maybe you are right, and Tony won’t keep his mouth shut but I’d like to play with Rogers. Stevie looked like a kicked puppy when I left him.”

“Boss, do I have permission to investigate the club and Barnes activities? I don’t want to cross a line, but apparently, he’s hurting his wife.” Steve insists. “If I can get her on my side…”

Tony chuckles, not knowing how to explain that Bucky would never dare to lay a finger on you.

“Listen, that’s a game they play. Y/N Barnes may be a lot of things, but she’s no damsel in distress. She’s as dangerous as her husband. I highly recommend not to get involved with her. Whatever you believe you saw or heard, it’s untrue…”

Tony swallows thickly, remembering the way you wrapped him around your pinkie. “I made the same mistake, Rogers. I tried to save her only to fall for her lies. It’s too late for me to stop them, but you can still make it.”

“I don’t understand, Sir. You fell for her…oh-I get it.” Steve stammers realizing his boss was sinfully involved with you. “What about her husband?”

“You see…we got drunk, there was a whirlpool and…well…things happened. One thing led to another and…” Tony’s flushed face tells Steve there was more than a bit skinny dipping. “If you tell anyone what I said, you are fired.”

“Boss, your privacy is important to me. I would never do anything to damage your reputation.” Steve is not used to talking to his boss about sex, so he clears his throat and tries to change the subject. “You think she wants to do the same to me?”

“Oh-she does it good…so good. I never…” Tony groans, almost vibrating when he remembers the nights, he spent with you and Bucky. “Y/N is a force of nature. Wild, and dangerous. Unleashed she can rip you apart and put you back together…”

“I’ll pass, Sir.”

“Tony was silent today. I got the feeling he was hiding something from me.” Nipping at your drink you sigh deeply. “I think he’s no longer reliable, Bucky…”

“Why’d you say that? Didn’t he give you enough attention?” Your slap to his cheek stings, but Bucky knows, he deserved it.

“It’s not about giving me attention, James.” His full name leaving your lips stings even more. “You know, last time he was all cheery to see me instead of you, and today he dismissed me like I am a random bitch in heat…”

“What exactly makes you think your Tony bear is hiding shit from us?” Bucky slides his fingers over your thigh, a smirk on his lips. “Did he say something wrong?”

“It was rather the things he did not say, Buck. We talked about business, his engagement with Pepper, hell even the weather but not a single word about Steve Rogers. I think Tony is not on our side any longer.”

“He’s playing with fire then…” Leaning against the counter Bucky chews on a toothpick. You hate his habit but remain silent tonight. “If Stark is not on our side, he’s an enemy and we take enemies down.”

“We can’t, baby. If Tony told Rogers anything about our arrangement or what we did behind closed doors, he’ll go after us when Tony disappears or falls victim to an accident.”

You mirror Bucky’s posture, letting your eyes wander around the crowded club. “Speaking of the devil.”

“I thought he’s the golden boy, doll,” Bucky smirks, riling you up for fun. “Do you still want to play with him?”

Meeting your husband’s eyes, you shrug before you turn your attention toward your drink.

“I will let him come to me, baby. Anything else would make him suspiciously. It’s his decision to play with fire, not mine…”

Steve hides in the darkest corner to watch you and your husband. He can see Bucky’s hand trail down your back and wishes it was his. When Bucky places a soft kiss to your neck Steve imagines you whisper his name.

There is a dark side in Steve wanting to break through seeing you with your husband. Never before did he feel a stronger pull toward a woman, another man’s girl.

“Anything I can do for you?” Liliane purrs but Steve dismisses her with a wave of his hand. Only taking the drink the waitress brought he trains his eyes on Bucky who slides his fingers over your exposed thigh.

Moments later you leave the crowded room to rush toward your husband’s office. Steve almost drops his drink to follow you close behind, forgetting you could see him.

Your mouth seals Bucky’s in front of his office and Steve can feel his pants tighten watching you palm your husband’s cock.

“Fuck me, baby. Please…I need you.” Your needy voice let a choked groan escape Steve’s throat as he must watch you push your husband into his office only to slam the door shut.

A heartbeat later you moan Bucky’s name and to his shame, Steve walks toward the office to press his ear to the door. He’s grasping the door handle, silently opening the door.

Throat dry Steve looks at the scene, not missing the way you react to your husband’s touch. Now he knows what Tony was talking about. He’s mesmerized by the beauty of your bodies moving in sync.

Bucky moans your name, gripping your thighs tightly as you slide your fingers through his hair. Your legs wrap around your husband’s waist and you are too lost in pleasure to recognize the man watching you and Bucky with darkened eyes.

Moan, grunts and the sound of your bodies collide fill the office. Eyes closed shut you cry out with every hard thrust while Bucky urges you on to come for him. “I love you, doll. No one else can have you…”

“Yours…only yours…” Right at that moment, you mean it as you always do. You play with other people, but your heart, body, and soul only belong to Bucky, your sworn partner in crime. “I love you…”

Steve silently closes the door, knowing he’ll never forget the way you writhed underneath your husband. He’s pressing his forehead and palm against the door when a cry of pleasure erupts from your throat.

“Let’s forget about that guy, Rogers. We don’t need him, baby. I only want to feel you buried inside of me. No more fooling around. It was nice to imagine having him but I don’t think he wants me enough to stay…”

“He’s a fool…” Bucky moans your name, shuddering as his high makes him buck into you repeatedly. “We could’ve given him the world…you…”

The cold shower doesn’t help to wash away the shame and the need Steve feels. His hand harshly fists his cock, imagining it’s you touch him the way he wants to.

For the first time in his life, Steve is losing control over his emotions and he doesn’t know if you will become his toy or the other way around…

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Lucien’s Qixi Event (Eng Translation)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for an event which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

Lucien’s Qixi Collection: Date  / Call 1 / Call 2  / Event ♡ / Special Call

[ Chapter One ]

In the lively and bustling restaurant, I look at the table which has been “swept clean” of delicacies by me, and sigh contentedly.

Sitting at the opposite end, Lucien can’t help but smile, then pushes the dessert in front of him towards me. 

Lucien: There are still some small bites left. Are you going to eat them?

I nod. Just as I take up my chopsticks, something occurs to me. 

MC: Eh? Why aren’t you eating? I ate most of the dishes just now too. Could it be... that you aren’t used to eating human food? 

Lucien: Mm, I rarely eat such food. Today’s probably the first time. 

MC: That’s such a pity! Trying all the delicacies is a delight in the human world...

I shake my head, feeling sorry for him. Then, an idea flashes past my mind. With my chopsticks, I pick up a piece of the dessert and hold it near Lucien’s mouth.

MC: This is a sweet osmanthus cake. It’s crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside, sweet and delicious. Give it a try?

Lucien looks at the cake near his mouth. There is a slight flicker in his eyes and he cooperates, opening his mouth to eat it.

Lucien: Mm, it’s delicious.

This small action attracts the attention of people around us. A few young ladies cast us curious and shy glances. 

Only now am I aware of what I just did in a public setting, and my heart rate accelerates. 

MC: I-it’s good that it’s delicious... let’s leave now then!

Lucien: Hm? You’re done eating? There’s still a lot of cake left. 

Puzzlement flashes across Lucien’s eyes.

MC: Mm, let’s go quickly! The temple fair is about to start.

Lucien observes the reddened tips of my eyes, then looks at the people around who are casting us dubious glances. A faint, knowing smile appears on his lips. 

Disregarding the audience’s gaze, he gently wipes a few crumbs off the corner of my lips, and speaks.

Lucien: You look very pretty when you’re eating. Seeing you enjoy the food with a face full of contentment... To me, that is the greatest delight in the human world. 

-

[ Chapter Two] 

Many people have come to participate in the temple fair. The long streets are packed with visitors, and people are flocking to all kinds of stalls.

An endless array of small trinkets dazzle me. At this moment, a vendor calls out to us from the side.

Vendor: Lady, take a look at the sachets! You can give them to your beloved. 

MC: Well, I...

Slightly hesitant, I look at Lucien, who is standing beside me. Then, I touch the sachet tied to my waist. 

Lucien: Boss, what should the man give then? 

Lucien suddenly opens his mouth to ask. 

Vendor: Flowers of course! Gentleman, if you are interested, you might as well choose a flower. 

Lucien: All right.

Without waiting for me to respond, Lucien has already selected a white hibiscus flower, placing it into my hand. 

Lucien: See if you like it? 

The flower in my hand is as bright and clean as snow, beautiful and moving. I gaze into Lucien’s tender eyes, and nod heavily. 

MC: Mm. I like it. 

After a short while, we leave the stall. I finally muster my courage, taking off the light-coloured sachet tied around my waist. I hand it over to Lucien.

MC: Lucien, this is for you.

A picture of a beast is embroidered on the sachet, but it looks slightly crude. A little embarrassed, I rub the tip of my nose. 

MC: When we were in front of the stall just now, I was too ashamed to give it to you because those sachets were so exquisite. It’s the first time I did embroidery, so it isn’t woven very well... But apart from the perfume, I also put a few medicinal ingredients which can sooth the nerves and aid with sleep! If you don’t dislike it, you can use it. 

Lucien takes the sachet, taking a good look at it. After a moment, the corners of his lips curve upwards gently. 

Lucien: Not at all, it’s very nice.

MC: Really? 

Lucien: Mm. It’s the first time I’m receiving such a thing, so I have nothing to compare it to.

MC: ...oh, I see.

There is a subtle change in my mood. 

MC: I even thought my skills improved a little...

Looking at the complex expression on my face, Lucien doesn’t suppress his laughter. 

Lucien: All right, I was just teasing you. This sachet is the nicest one I've ever seen. 

My vision is overtaken by his gentle smiling face. Lucien extends his hand to rub my hair lightly. 

Lucien: Thank you for this goodwill. I will definitely treasure it.

-

[ Chapter Three ] 

Without realising it, the night arrives quietly. Even so, the liveliness of the long street has yet to dissipate even by a little. 

Raising their heads, everyone anticipates the fireworks display.

MC: Why does it seem like there are even more people now...

I mutter this softly, and feel the hand at my side being held. 

Lucien: This way, you wouldn’t have to be afraid of getting lost.

Right after his words land, I hear a sudden loud sound. One by one, fireworks carry sparks as they scuttle into the sky, blooming into beautiful sparkles. 

We find a corner at the side of the street with few people. Looking at the magnificent night sky, a wave of warmth rises in my heart. 

MC: Lucien, have you seen fireworks before? 

Lucien: I have. But I didn’t feel anything special. 

Lucien: But seeing it together with you today - I feel a special kind of delight. 

Lucien says this lightly. Perhaps to a deity who possess immortality, even the most magnificent fireworks are nothing more than flowers. 

Muttering to myself, I slowly open my mouth.

MC: In your eyes, are humans just like fireworks - temporal, and very...

Before I can finish, Lucien suddenly lowers his head and looks at me seriously.

Lucien: But they are extremely dazzling, and strike a deep chord in the hearts of people.

We are within breathing distance. The warm breath flowing from his lips brush across my cheeks, causing my breathing to turn rapid. 

Lucien: Why is your face so red?

MC: ...it’s just a reflection from the fireworks.

Lucien smiles slightly, but doesn’t expose me. 

The fireworks are akin to clusters of flowers, blooming continuously. Yet, I’m unable to concentrate on them.

The gaze lingering on me is difficult to ignore. Finally, I can’t help but turn my head, meeting Lucien’s shining eyes. 

MC: Lucien, why aren’t you looking at the fireworks, but at me... Are the fireworks not pretty? Because of you... I can’t focus on them.

I furrow my brows, pouting while complaining softly. 

Seeing my angry yet embarrassed look, Lucien laughs.

Lucien: They are beautiful. But...

He takes the hibiscus flower in my hand, and inserts it into my hair. 

Lucien: This “flower” in front of me is even more beautiful than the fireworks. 

Note: There’s an emphasis placed on “flower” because in Chinese, flower is 花 (”hua”) and fireworks is 烟花 (”yan hua”). Just some smooth wordplay :>

-

[ Chapter Four ]

Following the dissipation of the final firework in the night sky, the temple fair draws to an end. All that’s left is the releasing of festive lanterns.

Lucien brings me to a quiet and secluded lake. Atop the green jade lake are tiny speckles of light from fireflies. 

MC: This place is so beautiful... But where are the festive lanterns? 

I scan the calm lake - not only are there no festive lanterns, but there isn’t even a single flower. 

Lucien: I’m stumped...

Lucien pretends to be embarrassed and furrows his brows. Seeing through his lie instantly, I snort with laughter. 

MC: Great deity, how could such a small issue stump you? You definitely have a way, don’t you? 

After being exposed by me, Lucien also smiles. 

MC: Mm, I do have a way. 

He reaches out to take the hibiscus flower which was in my hair. Then, he spreads it out in his palm. 

A shining white light encircles his hand. After a while, the flower grows around four or five times its original size. 

Lucien: Now, we can release the festive lantern.

His eyes carry a smile as he looks at me. Then, he places his hand on my back, beckoning me to place the flower on the lake. 

The hibiscus immediately attracts the fireflies on the lake. They surround it, illuminating the flower like flickering stars. 

From afar, there seems to be a bright “festive lantern” floating on the lake’s surface. 

Lucien: You aren’t making a wish? 

MC: Hm? 

Lucien: I heard that when humans release festive lanterns, they have to make a wish.

Seeing Lucien’s face illuminated by the light, my heart suddenly turns even more tender. So, I shake my head. 

MC: I’m not making a wish. Right now, I’m already very blessed. This is enough.

At first, Lucien is stunned. Then, the corners of his lips turn up at a nice angle.

He pulls my hand, enveloping it in his.

Lucien: Silly. This is just the beginning. Next time, there will be even more things worth looking forward to, and waiting for you. There’s still a long road for you to walk--

He leans in slightly closer to me, and the tips of our noses touch. 

Lucien: Are you willing to be with me? 

[asilentguardian]

My Thoughts on Gotham

My mom and I finished watching Gotham on December 29th, and this analysis has been sitting in google docs since then. Some of this is a bit incoherent, some of it I wrote as I was watching, and some of it I wrote after finishing the entire show. So here it is. 2,000 words or so of rambling about Gotham. 

My thoughts on the show as a whole: Gotham changed my opinion on a lot of Batman’s villains. I used to be indifferent towards Penguin, now I love him. I used to hate Firefly, now I love her. While there were one or two decisions that I disagreed with, the portrayal of these characters was satisfying and the tone of the show as a whole was refreshing. The writing was good for the most part, however there are issues with sexism and homophobia that I personally noticed.

And now I’m going season by season cause I’m a nerd.

Season One

Season one is a bit of a mixed bag for me. It seemed to me that the show writers and the younger actors were still trying to find their footing and decide what kind of world their Gotham was. Some episodes are slow, but overall it’s intriguing and I was invested after a couple of episodes.

The pilot has a lot of moving parts and it still works. They did a good job of intertwining all of these characters before starting them all on their own paths.

I can’t imagine anyone else playing these roles. I am really happy with the casting choices for this show. Jim Gordon, Harvey Bullock, and Bruce Wayne especially.

Fish Mooney is an interesting but welcome edition! To be honest, the first time my mom and I tried to watch Gotham, we hated her. The second time around, however, I LOVED her and her role in the rise of Penguin.

Having Edward Nygma start at the GCPD was a really cool idea! I think they executed his descent into madness perfectly. I wanted Ed to prevail and to be a goodman just as much as I wanted to see the Riddler emerge.

Speaking of the GCPD, the corruption and the conflict within the precinct is very believable and compelling. It’s easy to believe that Jim Gordon is a young and optimistic detective who believes wholeheartedly in doing good. I also appreciate the fact that Jim Gordon doesn’t lose that drive for good throughout the show. I also don’t find it too cheesy, even if it’s a common trope.

The Batman universe is huge so I was expecting references and easter eggs at every turn, and I was half right. There's plenty of references and cameos but they work and they aren’t essential to the plot which helps casual fans keep up with the story.

A lot of seeds are planted during this first season, and it’s rewarding to see them pay off. I don’t feel as if the first season suffers from the thing that a lot of movies do where they are clearly trailers for the next part in the franchise. 

I think my favorite episode of this season is episode 20 “Under the Knife.” The stakes are high and the story line with the Ogre is definitely unexpected and horrifying but in the best way. Also Ed kills Dougherty and it’s very satisfying.

Season Two

Rise/Wrath of the Villains!

Theo Galavan and Hugo Strange were the big bads of this season and I think they were written and acted very well.

Something I’ve noticed about some of the villains on this show and their interactions with children and Bruce in particular is that they’re... unsettling. I suppose that’s intentional and I definitely think it makes some of the villains more intimidating, but it’s really creepy. There are a lot of adults that are preying on Bruce’s innocence in this show. 

Theo Galavan was not my favorite. He was intimidating for a bit, but I kinda grew bored of him. I did enjoy the nod to Azrael. 

Hugo Strange! I was kinda indifferent to him when playing Arkham City but I enjoy him in this show! Loved when he showed up again in subsequent seasons and you immediately knew some Fucked Shit was happening.

So Mr. Freeze. I’m not too sure how I feel about Gotham’s take on this story. The casting is solid, but killing Nora? Not the move. Actually very angry about that to be honest. The Mr. Freeze episode could’ve been so much more compelling and emotional but instead it was a way to move Lee and Jim’s relationship forward :(

They managed to make Firefly not annoying, but I only found Firefly annoying before because of that stupid boss fight in Arkham Origins. But I liked Bridget.

Penguin and Nygma’s relationship is very fun in this season! More on them later, but at least in season two it’s very enjoyable to watch them learn to trust each other. My mom and I adored their story line.

I LOVE Nygma’s character arc in this season. His interactions with Gordon are some of my favorite bits from this season. They are very rewatchable and I find their relationship to be one of the more intriguing ones in the show.

Overall season 2 was decent. Some of the villains were forgettable, but the relationship arcs and character arcs that were compelling kept me interested.

Episode 15, Mad Grey Dawn, was one of my favorites this season. Seeing the Nygma v Gordon thing play out was so so so fun. I really loved being able to follow Nygma’s logic and feel Gordon’s frustration at being framed.

Season Three

Mad City/Heroes Rise!

There’s A LOT I have to say about season 3. I liked it. There’s a couple of big issues I have with season 3, but overall it was compelling and I enjoyed it.

While I’m not usually one for the “this character has a darkness inside of them” trope, I really didn’t mind it with Gordon. I thought it was believable and interesting enough to be engaging. bounty hunter Gordon was pretty fun, too. And hot. Anyway.

The Mad Hatter v Jim Gordon stuff is intense. Episode 6 where Gordon is forced to choose between Valerie and Lee is where the “dark side” trope lost me a little but I do like that they make a point to have Gordon always make his way back to the light. Valerie’s exit felt very rushed and sudden? I don’t know if the actress was written off for some reason, but it felt very weird.

So. Penguin and Nygma. I don’t know if I would necessarily call it queer-baiting, but it definitely doesn’t sit right with me. Here’s the thing about Gotham’s queer representation: it’s not good, but it’s not bad. There is 100% an issue with making all of your queer characters villains. And there’s a HUGE issue with having Barbara’s attraction to women only be present when she’s a) acting as an antagonist to Gordon’s work at the GCPD (Montoya in season one) or b) on the side of the antagonist and framed as crazy (Tabitha in season two). Also, notice how in season five she’s “sane” when she’s with Gordon. It’s homophobia luv.

However, in the case of Penguin and Nygma, the added layer of Penguin’s love for Nygma makes their arc a little more interesting and compelling (there’s still an issue with queer love being framed as toxic and obsessive in this show, but if I don’t stop talking about that this post will be miles long).

The Ivy thing is certainly a new plot device, but I don’t hate it. Took a bit to get used to, but older Ivy makes sense and to be honest, I wasn’t a huge fan of child Ivy. Not that her character was bad, but I personally found her a tad annoying.

SEASON 3 EPISODE 14. THE GENTLE ART OF MAKING ENEMIES. I HAVE A LOT TO SAY ABOUT THIS. Bruce’s character development in this episode made me extremely happy. I haven’t talked a lot about Jerome-Joker yet, but I really like him. Joker is one of those characters you can take a lot of liberties with and it can either really work or really suck (looking at you Jared Leto). Gotham’s version of Joker, while a bit rushed, is a good fucking Joker.

The reason why I like s3e14 so much is THIS is what the Joker vs Batman relationship is about. This is why they are perfect foils. Batman always has a reason, a method. Motivation and a cause. He believes in Gotham and he believes that EVERYONE has the capacity for good. Joker does things just for the hell of it (i.e. kidnapping Bruce). His point is anarchy and chaos. His point is that everyone has darkness and that they are “one bad day” away from giving into that darkness (subtle nods to The Killing Joke, very nice). This is illustrated SO beautifully in this episode. However, I do see an issue down the line of Joker knowing who Batman is instantly, but I digress.

The birth of Riddler! The development of Penguin and Riddler’s animosity! mwah!

Also. Bruce standing above Gotham in an early version of the suit. There’s no ears or cape but my mom and I were VERY excited. I felt so giddy.

Bruce’s vow not to kill was beautifully framed, props to the DP on that one. It felt nice to hear a live action version of Bruce Wayne say that. (Note from the future: yes he breaks it. Sorta. I’m mad about it, but I explain my feelings in depth later).

Season Four

A Dark Knight!

Alright. Season 4. To be honest, it took me a while to warm up to this one.

Scarecrow. Love his costume. Love his escape. Scarecrow is one of my favorites because he’s creepy and cool and terrifying. Well done. The episode where Jim goes after him is really brutal. He goes there alone, not even Harvey by his side, and he is forced to stare his biggest fear in the face. I loved it!

The Pax Penguina. I’m easily won over by references to old literature and history. This show has made me actually like Penguin. I used to find him annoying and didn’t understand why he was people’s favorite, but this show has proved him to be a competent and cunning villain. I love to hate him. It’s fun seeing him at the top of Gotham.

Riddler’s escape and Nygma’s return. His friendship with Lee and Grundy (Grundy!!). Ed and Lee was certainly an interesting choice. I didn’t hate it, it just seemed really odd. I enjoyed Lee’s rise to power though! 

Sofia Falcone. Not really a fan tbh. Didn’t trust her from the start and it was SO satisfying to see her get shot in the head. Talk about a ruthless mastermind. To be fair, I did love to hate her in the beginning, but then she kinda got on my nerves? The actress that played her was really good though!

Captain James Gordon. Yessir. What a legend. One step closer to Commissioner. But also ouchie he had to go behind Harvey’s back. That subplot hurt so good.

Professor Pyg is. A lot. Gotham is a mature show, but it’s hard to like Pyg even as a villain. He’s unsettling and his episodes are a bit too much. I tolerated him but it just got to be gratuitous. I will say that I am relieved that they weren’t heavy handed on the cross-dressing thing. Would prefer not to see that played for a joke anymore, and this show does not need to vilify queerness more than it has.

Jerome and Jeremiah! ahhhhh!!! What wonderful interpretations of the Joker! Jerome was great, but I think I’m partial to Jeremiah. Maybe because his costume looks so much like the Joker from the animated series and Mark Hamill will always be my Joker. Either way, I LOVED their story line in season 4.

Kinda love Barbara being involved in the League. Very sexy of her. Also very sexy of her to not be dead. 

Alright. Here we go. Ra’s Al Ghul and Bruce Wayne. I have mixed feelings about this. So Bruce kills. Technically he’s not Batman yet, and obviously Ra’s didn’t stay dead, but he already took the oath. I have a hard time staying with any adaptation that makes their Batman a killer, but this one wasn’t awful? And then technically Barbara uses Bruce’s hands to kill Ra’s in the finale. I’m upset that they went with a “what if Batman kills” story line in the first place, but the resolution wasn’t too terrible.

Those last three episodes of season 4. Wow. My mom and I couldn’t stop watching. The nods to The Killing Joke were cool but not too on the nose. The stakes felt high and I was so deeply invested because this story line in particular was very well crafted and planned out and it definitely shows. There’s so many loose ends at this finale, and somehow it works and you still have hope. But holy shit, those bridges coming down, the utter panic and confusion as you’re wondering “is X person okay? what happened to X?” wonderful, chefs kiss.

Season Five

Legend of the Dark Knight!

Oh gosh. I have so much I want to say, but I don’t know how to put it into words. I loved this season. I loved the post apocalyptic vibes of Gotham. Loved the rise of the villains into the people who will one day face Batman. Loved Gordon’s leadership and rise to Commissioner. There’s a few things I have issues with this season, but I’m just so in love with that finale. What a beautiful send off.

I loved how the finale was crafted, how we didn’t see the full Batman suit till the end. I did, in fact, cry when that thing was revealed. The score was beautiful. It felt so much like an episode of The Animated Series, yet so unlike any other piece of Batman media. It was so refreshing to have everything wrapped up nicely, so refreshing to have hope and satisfaction in a finale.

Overall, this version of Gotham City feels like a living, breathing thing that is lived in and flawed. It is wonderful. The set designers did wonderfully and it feels so timeless in the way that the Animated Series did as well. I think that’s part of the reason why I loved this show so much. It made me feel the same way that the Animated Series did.

I know I’ve missed a lot of details and plot lines, so if for some reason you are interested in my thoughts on a particular thing in this show, my inbox is open!!