#Bucky Barnes Angst
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Christmas Surprise
Pairing: Sergeant!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader
Summary: I don't want to spoil it, read and find out đ
Warnings: mentions of war and army stuff
A/n: Merry Christmas, folks. I hope you all have a blessed day. I think it's kind of obvious what the story is about, but I hope you like it.
Read this plsâ¤ď¸
Xxxx
"It's a pity James won't be making it this year. He's scarcely been around for Christmases since Papa passed, and Y/N seemed to have changed that, I thought. Though I suppose he is part of the army now, and they need him for war and all that."
"I was under the impression that all soldiers in training got Christmas off. But I know nothing about military matters, so don't trust my judgment."
Y/N stood in the hallway as her sisters-in-law spoke, Rebecca and Rudy (I made Rudy up for the sake of the story). Her heart beat heavily in her chest as she stared at the framed sketch of James Buchanan Barnes, drawn by Steven. G. R. .
With a smooth of her hands down her apron, she walked into the kitchen. The chatter instantly and awkwardly shifted to the peas that stood on the counter, and Rudy scattered to look for the rolling pin, that was tucked into the front pocket of her apron.
"It's alright, I heard. And Rudy's right. Jamie was supposed to come home four days ago, but for some reason him and his commando friends got refused dismissal or something."
Rebecca sighed, setting down her eggnog, and went to Y/N, laying a hand on her shoulder.
"Y/N/N,"
"Becca, it's quite alright. I really understand your concern, I do. I just feel bad for Jamie. He often spoke of his fondness for Christmas."
Rebecca gave another sad sigh and looked at Judy, who understood the silence.
"Well, on a different note. We've managed to scrounge together some canned versions of James's favourites. It ain't the real deal,"
"But it's pretty damn near."
Rebecca finished Rudy's sentence, allowing a little humour to fill the space. Y/N chuckled lightly, picking up a can of peas. This Christmas would be their 5th without Rudy's husband Joe, their 3rd without their father, and their 16th Christmas without their mother. And now, it would be their 3rd with Y/N, and 1st without Bucky. The three sisters (minus Y/N, merely Bucky's girlfriend, but they went by that nickname), were left to spend Christmas by themselves.
A knock at the door pulled the three women from their thoughts. They shared a look: that was not a feminine knock. It could mean one of three things;
â˘James was home by some miracle
â˘They were about to geat dreaded news about James
â˘The old man next door sent by his wife for sugar
â˘Rebecca's secret admirer (though this thought was only shared by Y/N and Ruby, and had James been there, him too)
"I'll go get it."
Y/N rushed to the door, heart pounding excitedly. To her dismay, it was Tom, the butcher's son. Y/N's heart sank and her smile faded to an annoyed expression.
"Tom. What can I do for you?"
"Merry Christmas, beautiful."
Y/N sighed, about to close the door when he handed her an envelope. Y/N cocked a brow, hesitant to take it.
"What's this?"
"It's from the post office. Mr. Bennett asked me to deliver it to you. Says the sender pleaded."
Y/N reached to take it but Tom pulled it back.
"Uh uh, first, Malcolm sent you something, and you need to take it before I give you your letter."
Y/N groaned, rolling her eyes.
"I am not obligated to take it."
"Well I'm not obligated to give this letter to you. It's just a favour."
Y/N narrowed her eyes and pressed her lips into a fine line.
"Fine."
Tom picked up a wrapped tin box and handed it to Y/N. Her gut sank, she knew what was in the tin. Tom placed the letter on the box and left. Y/N retrieved inside silently and placed her belongings upstairs in her room. She locked her door and ripped open the paper, sighing heavily when she saw the note on top of the expensive boots she'd been dreaming about.
Just a glimpse of what a real man could give you. Merry Christmas.
The note read.
She felt too bad to open the letter she knew was from James.
-Fast forward to eating time-
After the girls had dished up and said Grace, they sat at the table, ready to eat. Another knock sounded at the door, a man's knock. But a specific pattern belonging to only one man.
"James!"
The three girls said together and got up, but Y/N beat the rest to the door. The door was jerked open, blowing Y/N's hair from her face from the friction. Her stomach swarmed with fiery butterflies when her eyes registered the man before them.
"Buck,"
His signature grin spread across his face before he stepped forward, dropping his bags. Before she knew it, her lover was crushing her bones (just about) in a hug. Y/N's arms wrapped around his neck as he stood on a step lower than her. She felt his figure move as he inhaled her scent.
"What are you doing here? I thought you weren't allowed?"
"I'm not. But no command from any general jackass is gonna stop me from seeing my baby on Christmas."
Y/N laughed, pulling away to flick his forehead before hugging him again. The 'three sisters' made quick work of fixing Bucky a plate while he freshened up upstairs. Y/N couldn't keep her eyes from James as they ate the lunch. She could see the beginning of stress on his features, the slight fatigue from training, but there was something else.
He'd always been a pro at masking his true feelings, but the usual "Bucky shimmer" in his eyes was missing. He tried hard not to lock eyes with Y/N over lunch, but he couldn't keep his eyes from her. Though it'd been a mere two weeks, he'd missed her.
"Becks? I feel something is the matter with James. But I don't want to worry him asking, or pry, he just- oh I don't know he seems off."
Rebecca put down the plate she was washing and turned to Y/N with her own signature look.
"If anyone knows him well, it's you. So I'd say to trust your gut."
With that, Rebecca returned to washing the dishes. Y/N smiled faintly at the tilted floors of the Barnes' kitchen and nodded to herself.
"If it's alright with you, I think I'm going to have a word with him. See if he's alright."
"It's fine by me. Judy's the one you should be worryin' about. Now go, shoo, before she comes back from her rendezvous in the powder room (yes I'm implying that she's taking a dump)."
With a giggle shared between the younger girls Y/N scurried upstairs, knocking on the door of the guest bedroom, her bedroom for the holidays.
"Give me a moment."
James called back.
"Jamie, sugar, it's me."
"In that case give me two moments."
Bucky sassed. At least he was being himself. Y/N pushed the door open, thankful it wasn't locked. She instantly knew what was off. The stupid boots from Malcolm.
"What happened to respecting a man's privacy?"
He frowned at her.
"Darling I don't believe you get much of that in the army, and besides, I don't want us to spend the little time we have together on the blessing of a day brawling about a stupid third party inconvenience."
"So the fella you've been seeing is called 'stupid third party inconvenience?'"
Y/N shook her head with a soft laugh.
"I'm not seeing anybody, James."
"Then what's this?"
He pointed toward the boots, that remained untouched. Y/N sighed, putting the lid over them.
"My letter is right next to them. You didn't even open it. Though perhaps a mere letter that I split my ass to get to you isn't 'manly' enough is it?"
"James, language, and please, let me explain."
His furrowed brows dropped slightly, and Y/N took his silence as her opportunity to explain.
"You remember that rich kid whose father owns the country club?"
Bucky nodded apprehensively.
"I accidentally knocked my bag off a table a few weeks back, and he assisted me in picking up my belongings. He hasn't left me alone since. He's had his friend, or more like servant Tom deliver things to me ever since. Tom wouldn't give me your letter unless I accepted his gift. And I knew what it was going to be, but I was so horrified at his gesture, that I felt too ashamed to open your letter. I'm sorry."
".....Well he's not man enough to enlist."
James said after a moment of silence. Y/N chuckled through her nose and nodded.
"And he's not man enough to deliver the gifts himself."
Y/N nodded, smoothing a hand down James's arm, and then took ahold of his hand.
"You're all I want, Bucky. Believe you me. There's no overly priced pair of boots that could make me change my mind about that."
It was Bucky's turn to laugh at her comment.
"But does he know you've got a suitor?"
Y/N nodded, an irritated expression across her features.
"He knew when I dropped my bag, he knew when I was at the train station to send you off and he waited there to talk to me. And the gifts have ampled since your departure."
Bucky's jaw ticked, and Y/N felt his fingers clasped around hers twitch.
"What do you say you and I pay him a visit and return his gift?"
"Isn't that a little rude, especially on Christmas day?"
"Dollface, we're amidst a world war, I couldn't give a damn about being polite to a jackass who's tryna steal my girl."
"Buck you know he'll never succeed, right?"
"I do trust so. But still, I want to rub it in his face."
"James, baby, come on. If we give him a reaction, he'll probably like it. It'll give him the impression that he's getting to you."
"You were always the clever one in this relationship. So what do you suggest we do, miss smarty pants?"
Y/N hummed, pretending to think as she rubbed her chin.
"Well, for starters, you never call me that again. And, perhaps you and I dress nicely, beg Becca to use her camera, and post him a picture of us with Christmas regards written on the back."
"Not mean enough."
"There's a twist?"
James cocked an eyebrow, intrigued.
"I'm wearing the boots he sent."
James's face broke out into a boyish grin.
"Sounds more like it. I'm in. Get dressed, dollface, I'll use my baby blues on Becks."
"Work your magic Sergeant."
Y/N called as he left the room.
Xxxx
Fin. Merry, merry Christmas, people. I've derailed a little, I'm sorry. Never forget the true meaning behind Christmas, and never forget that you're loved.
Lots of love and best wishes
(Yes I am planning on a pt.2 depending on how well this does)
#marvel cinematic universe#marvel mcu#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky x reader#bucky barnes drabble#bucky needs a hug#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes#james bucky barnes#beefy bucky#bucky angst#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes fanart#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fic rec#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes oneshot#bucky barnes x female reader#buckybarnes#merry christmas
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hiii!!! đâ¨
so currently i'm working on three fics but they're not finished yet and i want to focus on one at a time and then finish the other ones so if you could vote which one you would like to read first đđťđŤđ
draco malfoy x lupin!reader || angst, fluff
at a christmas gathering with the weasleys, tensions rise as your bond with draco malfoy isolates you from the order of the phoenix and breaks your friendships with harry, ron, and hermione. a shocking announcement from your father, remus lupin, leaves you reeling. you have a conversation with molly weasley about why can everyone love who they choose, except you.
bucky barnes x reader || angst, fluff
after leaving wakanda, bucky starts to rediscover who he is while living with you, slowly building a new life. when his despair deepens, you offer him a fresh start with a simple act: cutting his hair.
declan o'hara x reader || smut
after the debate with corinium, declan invites the entire venturer team to celebrate at his home. maud is nowhwere to be found, taggie is with rupert and declan n't help but watch youâthe best friend of his daughter and his secretaryâdance to the music of the piano. he offers to take a walk, with a bottle of champagne and alone.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fluff#bucky#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes angst#sebastian stan#declan o'hara smut#declan o'hara angst#declan o'hara#declan o'hara fluff#aidan turner#declan o'hara x reader#rivals#rivals smut#rivals fluff#draco malfoy#draco malfoy fluff#draco malfoy angst#draco malfoy x reader#harry potter#harry potter fluff#harry potter angst#harry potter smut#draco malfoy smut#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#james bucky barnes#declan o'hara imagine#draco lucius malfoy#marvel
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In Vino Veritas
Pairing â Avenger! Bucky Barnes x Lab Assistant! Female! Reader
Total Wordcount â 3.5K
Summary â It all started when you and the Avengers enjoyed drinks during the afterparty back at the Avengers Tower. There, Tony revealed one of your deepest secrets, and even though you wish it had never come to light at first, youâre glad it did when the man you love stands on your doorstep, ready to start the rest of your life together.
Tags & Warnings â Semi-canon compliant, Avenger! Bucky Barnes, Female! Reader, Tonyâs Lab Assistant! Reader, Buckyâs past as TWS is mentioned, emotional hurt/comfort, mutual pining, some cursing, and explicit sexual content.
Tags: Smut â Grinding, begging, some dirty talk, praise, teasing Bucky, protected sex, cowgirl position.
Story Rating â Explicit
Authorâs Note â This story is beta'd by the wonderful @late-to-the-party-81, and I cannot thank you enough for that. I hope you'll all enjoy my story, which is filled with some angst, lots of fluff, and some smut to top it all off! đ
Writing Prompts @fandom-free-bingo Bug Edition â âThere is no us.â | Riding | In vino veritas | âTouch me.â @fandom-free-bingo Medical Edition â Crush at first sight @julybreakbingo Post-JBB â Being confronted about their feelings for another
Tags List â If youâd like to be tagged in my stories, you can add yourself to my tag list here.
The evening starts fine, good, even. But it all takes an unexpected turn when the man you work for - Tony Stark - reveals your secret. A secret that youâd only recently revealed to him.
Earlier that day, youâd spotted Bucky as he was working out and from that moment on your mind has been with him instead of your usual work and tasks.
âHello, Y/N? Anyone home in there?â Tony asks as he lays a hand on your shoulder, making you jump. You look up at him with a worried look while he smiles back at you with a kind expression. A soft sigh escapes your lips as the thoughts in your head wander off again, specifically how his back looked underneath the tank top he wore in the gym while doing squats. Not only that, but you also canât stop thinking about the way his ass looked in the sweatpants he wore. In a word, magnificent.
âIs everything okay with you? Youâve been a bit off your game today.â As Tony sits next to you, you put down the screwdriver you were holding - the one he asked you three times to pass to him - before turning to face him, your gaze focusing somewhere on the wall behind him. For a moment, thereâs a silence between you as you gather the courage to tell him whatâs been on your mind.
âWell, uhm- Thereâs something, or someone, that I canât stop thinking about, and itâs taking over my mind every second of every day. It- Itâs Bucky,â you say almost in a whisper. For a few seconds, Tony is completely silent as he lets the thought of you having a crush on one of his fellow Avengers sit in his mind. Then, after what seemed like an eternity, he reaches out for your hand and takes it between his warm ones.
âYou know that Iâll always support you in everything, right? I supported you when you expressed your desire to halt your life as an Avenger and retrain as my lab technician, and I supported you when you moved out of Avengers Tower to have your own home with more peace. This is not going to be any different. All Iâm hoping for is that he will make you the happiest and best version of you, as you deserve nothing less.â
Tears brim at your waterline as Tony tells you this, and even though you deeply appreciate him, his words, and everything he has done for you, you canât help but still feel a bit⌠odd about the fact you told him youâre having a crush on Bucky. That you have a crush on the man who was once the most feared assassin in the world under the hands of HYDRA.
âNow, can you hand me that screwdriver before your thoughts wander off to him again?â your boss asks in a teasing tone, making you smile as you grab it and hand it to him. Somehow, he always seems to know the right thing to say, and it's exactly why you enjoy spending time by his side while learning everything there is to know about his lab and what's going on in there.
Just as youâre about to get comfortable with another drink in your hand, you meet the gaze of the man youâre crushing on, and you feel heat coursing through your veins. The lines around his deep blue eyes intensify as he smiles at you, his attention making every last thought in your brain disappear. Youâre so captivated by how Bucky looks at you that you miss your seat as you sit down. However, before you fall, youâre caught by a pair of solid arms that prevent you from hitting the floor.
âCareful there, Little One,â Thor says in his deep voice, his accent always making the butterflies in your stomach go wild. Even though youâd known Thor since you were young, you couldnât help but get a little flustered by the nickname, and he smiled at you as you were finally sitting on the chair you intended to use.
âThank you, Thor,â you whisper before sipping your cocktail. Around you, the conversations are starting to become a little blurry as you focus on Bucky and everything he has to say, his lips forming around the words effortlessly. When you suddenly feel a little shove against your arm, you yelp, making everyone go silent as they look at you.
âWhat did you do that for?!â you ask Thor in a low voice, but all he does is point to Tony, who obviously has something to say as heâs waving for everyoneâs attention. There are moments when you enjoy the fact that alcohol can bring out peopleâs true feelings or thoughts, also known as in vino veritas, but not now. Oh no, now you wish you could disappear as you listen to the words coming out of Tonyâs mouth.
âGuys, you really shouldnât say this to Bucky or Y/N, but theyâre having a massive crush on one another!â Tony says in a loud whispering tone, but what he fails to notice in his inebriated state is that you two are sitting right across from one another, enjoying the afterparty just like everyone else. Or at least, you were enjoying the afterparty until your secret got out.
The glass you were holding falls out of your hand before shattering into pieces on the floor, and your feet carry you as fast as they can away from the party and away from your worst nightmare come true. The music behind you fades away as you turn one corner after another, tears burning in your eyes as the event repeatedly replays in your mind. Your lungs start to burn as you keep running, the stinging feeling in your side increasing as you run out of the Avengers Tower into the night.
Meanwhile, Buckyâs world feels like it has taken a 180-degree turn. Mere minutes ago, he could only fantasize that you could have feelings for him, but now? A wave of disbelief washes over the super soldier, his expression showing pure surprise as he takes the moment in. For him, it was a crush at first sight from the momentyou walked into the training room on your first day. Over the years, his feelings have intensified, although he has only told Steve about his crush - or rather his now deep-rooted love - for you.
And yet, now that the pair of you have been confronted about your feelings for one another, he doesnât know what to do. He has replayed the moment heâd confess his feelings to you more times than he can count in his mind, and in none of those versions, this is one of the scenarios that had appeared. Itâs only when Steve grabs his arm and pulls him away that he seemingly comes back to reality again.
âBucky, how does Tony know about your crush on Y/N? I mean, Iâm, of course, fine with you sharing it, but-â
âI donât know, Steve, I donât know, and it kills me,â Bucky says as he runs his fingers through his cropped hair.âFuck- I was planning on telling her this week but⌠but now itâs ruined, and I didnât even get the chance to talk to her, and-â Itâs all Bucky can say as he fights the urge to punch the wall with his metal fist, both hands clenched by his side as he tries to regulate his breathing. Without warning, Steve pulls him into a hug, and Buckyâs arms snake around his best friend's waist as his fingers clutch at the fabric of his shirt.
âItâs going to be okay, I promise,â Steve whispers, though heâs not entirely sure thatâs true because he knows as well as anyone that things donât always go back to how they were before. Still, Bucky decides to believe him as they stand there for a little while longer, and he soaks in every bit of comfort he can get for now. Lord knows heâs going to need it.
The past few days have been strange, to say the least. You havenât been to the Avengers Tower since Tony revealed your now not-so-secret crush on the super soldier. Youâre afraid of what will happen if you do. This also means you havenât seen Bucky in a few days, and you miss him. You miss hearing his laugh, and you miss seeing how his mouth turns slightly upward as you hand him one of your baked goods, but most of all, you miss how his arms feel when he pulls you in for a hug.
Just as youâre about to make yourself a cup of tea, you get pulled from your thoughts by a soft but familiar knock on the door; only one thing can make that sound: Buckyâs metal hand knocking against the wood. For a moment, you contemplate your actions, but decide to give him at least a chance to talk, especially as it wasnât him who laid out your feelings in front of everyone.
âBucky, hi,â you say softly as you take in his appearance, your heart sinking as you do. Itâs evident he hasnât slept at all the past few days. There are dark circles under his eyes, and he doesnât look as healthy as usualâmore disheveled. The struggles heâs facing are apparent in his entire demeanor, and all you want to do is wrap him up in a warm blanket and cuddle him until the end of time.
âHi,â he says hoarsely, and you step aside, allowing him to enter your apartment. Heâs been here a few times already, and usually thereâs a warmth radiating from you and every inch of the little place you call home, but ever since the party, it hasnât been the same. It isnât just the apartment, either. You feel different.
âWould you like some tea before we talk?â you ask to break the tension. âI was about to make some.â
He nods at you before wandering further into your apartment, and you head to the kitchen, picking out another mug for Bucky to use. Once heâs caught sight of your couch, he immediately takes a seat, a soft groan audible as he does. There arenât many places more comfortable than the large couch thatâs standing right here in your living room.
When you emerge a few minutes later with two steaming mugs of tea and a plate filled with chocolate chip cookies you baked fresh this morning, Bucky canât help but smile at you. He gladly takes the tea with one of the cookies, as theyâre his favorite, and when you sit down next to him, it feels just like it always has, as if nothing has changed. But you both know it has, and thatâs why the super soldierâs now in your living room.
âSoâŚâ you start, unsure what to say now that heâs sitting on your couch. Buckyâs eyes are trained on the steaming tea in his hands, his thoughts going a mile a minute as heâs thinking about what he wants to say - other than confessing his love for you.
âSo⌠uhm, we missed seeing you around the Tower,â Bucky starts, though you both know itâs mostly him who has missed seeing you there. You have always been a staple there during his mornings as you make him a cup of coffee, and during movie nights, you were always the one he could sit next to and enjoy the movie, but now that youâre not there, itâs like a piece of soul has left the Tower with you.
âI mean, yeah. Itâs been a bit awkward for me to go back after what happened a few days ago,â you tell him, and a shudder of horror runs down your spine at the thought of having to face Tony again. A smile tugs at the corners of Buckyâs lips as he thinks back to what happened that night, a happy memory of your first meeting resurfacing in the back of his mind as he does.
âGood morning, Sergeant Barnes. Iâve made some chocolate chip cookies, if you want some. However, I should warn you, Tonyâs been on the prowl since I took them out of the oven, so Iâll advise you to be quick,â you say with a glare towards Tony, who has been eyeing them up since he walked into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. For the first time in a long time, Bucky showed something akin to a smile, and everyone looked at each other to ensure they saw it, too.
âThank you,â he says lowly, grabbing one of the smaller ones on the plate, followed by a cup of coffee, before swiftly leaving the kitchen to spend more time in his room. Before Bucky even left the kitchen, Tony was on the cookies as if he hadnât eaten in weeks, and this time you let him.
âCan I- Is it okay if I tell you something? Because if I donât say it now, I donât know if I ever will,â Bucky says softly, and you nod before repositioning yourself so that youâre facing him. His gaze is still trained on his mug as he thinks carefully about his next words, afraid he might accidentally say the wrong thing.
âTony was right. He is right, actually. When he said, weâre crushing on each other. Iâve been crushing on you since you offered me those chocolate chip cookies when Tony threatened to eat them all before anyone else had a chance to get them. It was like a switch flipped inside me back then, and I havenât been the same since,â Bucky says, his mouth now in a line as he tells you about his feelings.
âEach time I look at you, itâs like Iâm seeing an angel, and every time I hear your voice, itâs like a little piece of my soul is healing, too. I find myself drawn to you in every room and wonder what life has in store for us. But deep down inside, I know there is no âusâ yet. But I want there to be us. I want you, Y/N. I want you to be mine, in whatever capacity youâll have me. If you want to stay friends, thatâs okay with me, but if you want more, Iâll happily accept every bit of love youâre willing to offer me.â
Once Buckyâs done, youâre unsure what to say. What to think. What to do. You want to say that the feelings between you are mutual, that youâre in love with him and that you want nothing more than to be his, but something inside you is stopping you. So, instead of saying anything, you place your hand over his flesh limb, and his eyes slip shut at the feeling of your soft fingers against his rough hand.
âBucky.â His name is a whisper on your lips, but itâs enough to make him look at you, to meet your gaze.
âIâm in love with you, too.â
As soon as the words leave your lips, Bucky carefully put his tea on the coffee table before hauling you onto his lap, his hands digging into the soft flesh of your waist as your lips interlock in a passionate dance. He canât get enough of your soft mouth slotting together with his and the way his tongue fights for dominance with yours as your fingers dig into his neck. Itâs been a long time since youâve felt a strong connection with someone, and youâre happy to explore it with Bucky.
Your hips grind over his growing length of their own volition,your body looking for any bit of friction it can get. Without warning, one of Buckyâs hands slides lower until heâs cupping your ass, making you gasp into his mouth as a result. Bucky canât help but smile into the kiss as he pulls you impossibly closer, your legs spreading just a bit further as you sink against his muscular body.
âHmm, Iâve been wanting this - you - for so long,â he says between the kisses trailing your jaw towards your ear, his teeth nipping on your earlobe as your head lolls to the side. With every passing second, your thoughts are melting away more and more, and all thatâs left inside your mind is Bucky. Soon, his other hand joins the first as he helps you grind onto him, a groan falling from his lips as he sets a perfect pace for you both.
âB-Buckyâ" his name sounds more like a whine than anything else. âIâI want you.â
âBut you already have me, pretty girl, âm right here,â he says with a teasing lilt to his voice, his hands continuing to help you grind until youâre a complete mess for him. Your shorts are ruined, your arousal soaking through them and onto the bulge in his black jeans, much to Buckyâs joy. He was wondering what it would take to get you to this point, and it turns out it wonât take much.
He smiles against the skin of your neck, where heâs taking his time to mark you with hickeys and small bitemarks, all of which leave you a bit more of a moaning, begging mess on his lap, much to his pride. When one of your hands moves away from his neck and down his torso, he quickly catches on to what youâre doing. âSomeoneâs a little impatient today, huh?â
âYes, oh god, yes! I need you to touch me, Bucky. I want to feel you inside me as you make me fall apart on your cock, and I need you to fuck me like thereâs no tomorrow!â Your voice sounds more breathy than usual, but every care you thought you had has gone out the window. All you want is Bucky and his cock to ride, until youâre orgasming so hard and long you canât remember your name.
âOkay, I will. Donât you worry about anything, okay? Let me take care of you, and Iâll give you everything you need and more,â he reassures you in a shushing voice. You nod before kissing him again, which immediately deepens before he gently helps you get up, allowing you to take off your panties and shorts, and he can take off his pants and boxershorts, too. As soon as youâre both freed from your last pieces of clothing, you hand him a condom you retrieved from the side table drawer while he took the time to undress himself.
âHmmm, looks so thick,â you tell him as you look at it with wide eyes, wondering how heâs going to fit inside you as youâre positioning yourself on his lap once more, your legs bracketing his thicks thighs as you get comfortable.
âI know, but Iâm gonna go slow. Wouldnât want to hurt you and your perfect, sweet little pussy.â He smiles as he holds his cock in place, your pliant body sinking onto him slowly as your fingers dig into his shoulders to steady yourself. Your hiss of pleasure is audible and your face contorts at the slight sting of him stretching you, but just like he promised, Bucky is taking it slow to ensure youâll both have the most amazing first time.
As soon as youâre fully seated on his lap, your body goes limp against him, your face tucked in the crook of his neck as you adjust to his girth, and Bucky places soft kisses on your head while praising you through it all. âYouâre doing so well for me, baby. Such a good girl for me, letting me take the lead and giving you exactly what you need.â
A small smile appears on your face as you look up at him with big, doe-like eyes, and he canât help but smile back as the back of his fingers gently caress your cheek. He may have thought you were beautiful before, but nothing compares to this moment.Â
âI love you, Y/N, and I promise to take care of you with every fiber of my being,â he whispers, his lips sealing his promise against your cheek. Your eyes fall shut at his words, and his hand moves down your side until itâs on your hip again, ready for you to let him know when youâre good to go. Your bodies work in complete sync with one another with every rise and fall of your chest, and his hands guide you beautifully as you slowly sink and rise on his length.
âFuck, you feel so good,â he groans, and it doesnât take long for both of you to find your highs for the first time, and theyâre serving as a promise of everything else thatâs still to come in this lifetime. A few days ago, you and Bucky didnât even know you felt the same about one another, but now youâre sharing the start of the rest of your lives, and itâs all thanks to Tony. Because without him, you wouldnât have been able to tell the man of your dreams how much you love him.
Masterlist â Bucky Barnes
GIF: Source â All the other graphics you see are made by @vintagebuckybarnes
#fandom free bingo: bug edition#fandom free bingo: medical edition#july break bingo#post-july break bingo#bucky barnes#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x you#winter soldier#winter soldier angst#winter soldier fluff#winter soldier smut#winter soldier fanfiction#winter soldier imagine#winter soldier x reader#winter soldier x female reader#winter soldier x y/n#winter soldier x you#marvel#marvel angst#marvel fluff#marvel smut#marvel fanfiction#marvel imagine
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CEO Bucky takes his anger out on his secretary (ft smut)
Imagine CEO!Bucky accidently taking his anger out on his already stressed out secretary. He gets mean and you will deal with it because I wanted this angst turned smut to go from chest itching to stomach fluttering.Â
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Your stomach twisted in knots looking at the pile of papers you had stacked on your desk, the phone still ringing while new messages popped up in your email inbox every 5 minutes. The files had to be organized by the next meeting and the number on the phone display was one you couldnât ignore. The back to back messages were from various investors, each person insisting they were a priority over the others. You kept the receiver between your ear and shoulder, your hands flying around your desk madly between papers and tapping your keyboard.Â
You quickly added a few more meetings to the calendar before hurrying to your bosses office to remind him of one he had later that afternoon. You hesitated before knocking at the door, the closed doors indicating he was busy, but you knew heâd want a heads up about the meeting.Â
âMr. Barnes, you have a meeting with Stark Enterprises at 3:30-
âDidnât I tell you to move this meeting to next week?â Bucky snapped, blue eyes glaring at you while you blinked in confusion. âWell?âÂ
âN-noâ You shook your head, youâd never missed an email before and youâd always been on top of scheduling changes on time. Bucky mumbled something under his breath before waving you off, the shrill sound of his phone going off.Â
âBarnesâ Bucky grunted, answering the phone without looking back at you, leaving to you scramble away and figure out if you could rearrange the date with Tony Stark.Â
Which was a mess in itself.Â
You had to argue back and forth, pleading to no end for a different day with Starks assistant only reluctantly agreeing after nearly half an hour.Â
âYou really should be more responsible, canât believe Barnes has the likes of you working under himâ the woman on the phone clicked her tongue before slamming down the receiver, cutting the call. You sighed, taking in a deep breath to calm the tightness you felt in your throat, you didnât have time to break down now.Â
You printed the up coming contracts for Bucky to sign, organizing them by name and highlighting the places he had to sign so he didnât have to bother finding the space for signatures. You scurried back into his office, dreading the tense click of his jaw, your nerves increasing even more.Â
âSir, these are your papers-â You stumbled over the corner of the rug, scattering the papers onto the floor, your heart hammering out of your chest when you saw Bucky irritatedly run his fingers through his hair.Â
âFor fucks sake, y/n, Iâm already stressed, donât screw more shit up!â He growled, eyes hardening at the sight of the papers strewn across the floor of his office while you stayed frozen on the spot. Your eyes glossed over, quickly scrambling to the floor to grab the documents, mumbling apologies over and over again, hoping none of your tears stained the paper. The sight of tears streaking down your face broke Bucky out of his frustrated state, instantly regretting the tone heâd used with you.Â
âFuckâ Bucky cursed under his breath, getting out of his chair to help you but youâd already managed to pick everything up, immediately trying to scramble away.
âY/nâÂ
You didnât stop, unable to take more of Buckyâs wrath, continuing to hurry towards the door, desperately trying to hold down your sniffles and aggressively wiping your cheeks.Â
âY/nâÂ
Bucky sighed, gently reaching out to grab your arm and pulling you to face him, his feeling even worse when you kept your eyes trained on the floor, your arms wrapped around yourself.Â
âIâm sorry, p-please d-onât yellâ You choked out, still trying to hold your composure together, fighting the way your body wanted to break down into sobsÂ
âItâs okay. Iâm sorry, Iâm sorryâ his heart broke seeing the tears collecting in your lash line, his thumb swiping away the ones that spilled out. âMâsorry babyâ he wasnât sure where the pet name came from but he couldnât help it, letting it naturally roll off his tongue. You were still rigid, refusing to look at him, nearly flinching when he pulled you closer, tilting your chin up to meet his steel blues.Â
âLook at meâ He spoke softly now, as if he were trying to coax a small animal out of hiding, his touch gentle, âIâm sorry, I shouldnât have yelled at youâ
âItâs okayâ you shrugged, slipping out of his hold, quickly wiping your face and going back to work as if nothing had happened. Even though heâd apologized, his words rang through your mind for the rest of the day.Â
In fact, they stuck with you through the entire week.Â
Bucky hated the way you didnât even look at him anymore. He missed your soft good mornings and shy smile whenever he walked into his office. Now all you did was keep your head down, freezing in fear as soon as you heard his footsteps. And it was all his fault.Â
He despised that he made you feel scared of him, his own anger being the cause of upsetting you when you had been nothing but sweet from the day heâd met you. You were also the best heâd ever had; no one else had ever come close to how brilliantly you worked; you never missed anything. He nearly spat out the coffee that was placed on his table, missing the perfect cup you made for him every morning.Â
You only spoke 1-2 words, retreating from his office as soon as you got what you needed, your eyes always trained on the floor, looking away from him. He couldnât take it anymore, feeling more guilty each day; he couldnât go on any longer without your sweetness.Â
You blinked at the baby pink roses that sat in a basket on your desk along with a little bear placed on top, a small hand made Iâm Sorry heart sitting in its furry hands, clearly in Buckyâs handwriting. You traced over the soft teddy holding it in your hands before going to his office. Before you could say anything, Bucky was up and out of his seat, desperately hoping youâd hear him out.Â
âMâsorry y/nâ His soft eyes were filled with sadness and regret as he reached out to hold your hands in his, not wanting you to run off again, âIâm so sorry angel, thereâs no excuse, I shouldnât have yelled at youâÂ
âItâs fineâ You whispered, still avoiding his gaze.Â
âHey, itâs not fineâ Bucky shook his head, cupping your face to make you look at him, âItâs not baby, I shouldnât have ever treated you that way. You do everything for me, I shouldnât have taken out my anger on youâÂ
âI shouldnât have messed u-
âDonât, absolutely not. You never do sweets, it was me who messed up. Never you. Will you forgive me, doll?â Bucky nervously bit his lip while you gave him a small nod, that adorable shy smile he loved so much making its way to your lips.Â
âGod, I missed thisâ He whispered, his thumb tracing over your lips, chuckling at the tiny confused pout you gave him after.
âWhat did you missâÂ
âThis little smile you always have whenever youâre around meâ Bucky smirked at the way you grew more bashful, doe eyes darting about, âDo you have any idea how much I love when you look at me like that?âÂ
âMr-Mr. Barnesâ Your breath hitched in your throat as his hands slowly moved to hold your waist, pulling you closer. Your hands made their way to his chest to ground yourself, forgetting how to breathe as he pressed his lips against yours. It started off soft and slow; his sweet tongue turning sinful as he walked over to his chair, pulling you to straddle him without breaking apart once. You let out a needy whimper feeling him harden under you though Bucky was still focused on kissing your soft skin, his lips fluttering across every inch.Â
Youâd never been this close to Bucky before, the intoxicating scent of his cologne making your heart race, his calloused large hands roaming your body. You hadnât even realized you were grinding down on his thick bulge until he let out a groan, stilling your hips.Â
âKeep that up bunny and youâll make me cum in my pants like a little boyâ Bucky let out a strained chuckle, using every bit of his self restraint not to tear your clothes off.Â
âPlease?â You wiggled against him again, needing to be closer, Buckyâs resolve slowly crumbling. How could he hold back when you were practically humping your soaked needy cunt right on his erection.Â
âPlease what, sweetsâÂ
âNeed you Sirâ your voice had melted in a whine and that was all it took. The sound of his belt buckle hitting the floor caused more arousal to dampen your panties, nearly drooling at the sight of his cock as he pulled it out.Â
âAre-are you sure?â He checked with you once more, not wasting a second ripping your blouse off as soon as you nodded. He threw your bra off next before lifting your skirt up and pulling your panties to the, rubbing his fingers through your folds.Â
âSir, pleaseeâÂ
âI got you, I got you baby. Wanted to make love for our first time angel, give you a bed with rose petals nâ champagne over iceâ He whispered, recounting every fantasy heâd thought of from the day heâd met you, âWanted to make you feel good baby, throw your legs over my shoulders and nurse off this little clitâ
He rubbed your sensitive bundle of nerves, continuing.Â
âNâ then youâd be my sweet pillow princess. Iâd let you lie down all night while I fuck your soul angel. Iâd give you my cum all night, pump you full of my creamâÂ
âNeed you nowâ You whimpered, clutching onto the lapels of his blazer, not that you didnât want everything he was telling you but you couldn't wait.Â
âAlright baby, câmereâ He pulled you closer, your bare chest pressed against his as he rubbed his swollen cockhead to gather your slick before breeching your tight hole, his hips gently pushing up till he was buried to the hilt, âThatâs it, shhh take all of meâÂ
Bucky gave you a second to adjust to his size, his wide hands splayed across your body to hold you in place as he began to thrust up. You gasped in pleasure, your voice melting into a moan as he picked you up and placed you on his desk, pushing your thighs to hit your chest, hitting an even deeper angel.Â
âOH GOD-MR-BARNESâ You wailed as he fucked you harder, his heard thrown back, tie loosened, tightening the grip he had on your legs, keeping you spread out wide open. He groaned at the sight of his thick cock disappearing in and out of you while you moaned and sobbed on his desk, taking everything he gave you.Â
âThatâs right baby, say my name, let everyone know who makes you feel this goodâ He grunted through gritted teeth, holding off his orgasm while bringing his thumb to rub your clit again.Â
âI-Iâm gonna-OH-GOD-PLEASEE
âFuck you sound perfectâ Bucky moaned feeling you choke his length, fluttering and pulling him deeper as your orgasm washed over you, his own release dangerously close. âGod you feel so fuckinâ good when you cum baby. One more angel, just one moreâ Bucky practically pleaded with you, speeding up his fingers till he saw your eyes roll back, silent screams leaving your mouth as your juices soaked his balls.Â
âFuck mâcumming so hard for you babyâ He groaned, giving you a few more sloppy thrusts before stilling and spilling ropes of cum into you. He kept his cock inside while bending down to pick you up and sit back in his chair again. He sat with you for a while, petting your hair and kissing you, whispering sweet nothings.Â
âReady to go?â He whispered, looking down to see if youâd fallen asleep while you snuggled into him with your eyes closed.Â
âToo tired sirâ You pouted, nuzzling into his chest, refusing to move, your body too fucked out to even stand.Â
âI got you babyâ Bucky smiled, shrugging off his blazer and wrapping you up before carrying you away in his arms, ready to take you home, right where you belonged âGonna make love to my pretty girlâÂ
#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x reader smut#bucky x you#bucky x smut#bucky x y/n#bucky x reader#bucky x Female Reader#bucky x f!reader#bucky x fluff#James Buchanan Bucky Barnes#james bucky buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes#ceo bucky#ceo!bucky#ceo bucky barnes#ceo bucky smut#ceo bucky barnes smut#ceo bucky x secretary reader#bucky x secretary#bucky barnes imagine#bucky imagine#bucky fanfic#bucky fan fiction#bucky fan fic#bucky barnes fanfiction
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Every Part of You
Pairing - Grumpy!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Reader A.N. - Alright, I've been asked to write about Bucky and Sunshine's first time many, many times. And the thing is, like sure, I could write that, but also I want us to take a moment to consider trying to build up to that. There's so many firsts buried in there that I think need to be navigated through before they even get there. This is one of those firsts. Like the first time you see Bucky's shoulder.
Bucky Barnes Masterlist | Grumpy Sunshine Series
"You're just- " You stop speaking, searching for his lips again. Though you're breathless, you can't bring yourself to pull away from him, "You're so pretty."
You shudder as you feel his hand slip under your sweater. The occasional graze of the cool metal on your skin enough to send shivers down your spine.
His lips trail down, nipping at your jaw, "I'm not pretty."
Your hands, winded in the hair at the nape of his neck, glide down his neck, to clutch the fabric of his henley. The moment he feels your fingers toy with the collar of his shirt, his heart hammers against his ribcage. Not in the sort of way that he usually feels in these moments with you. He feels a sense of dread, of panic. It wraps around his spine like a python. It feels like he can't breathe.
"You're so -"
He wrenches away from you, his chest heaving, "Stop, stop, stop."
You freeze, immediately dropping your hands. Panic starts creeping up your throat, coating your words. "Did I - did I do something wrong?"
He gulps, silently shaking his head. It takes him a moment to regain his composure, to regain the ability to speak clearly, "No, no, you're - you're perfect."
Guilt starts to eat at him. He can see you doing your very best to keep your own feelings off your face. He can see the sting of his rejection in the way your lips press together in a tight line. The embarrassment in the pallor of your once flushed cheeks.
You two have worked so hard to overcome your own personal issues and traumas, to build trust in each other, moments like these hadn't come easy. And he so callously pushed you away, it makes him feel worse. And what makes his heart ache even more, he sees nothing but concern for him shining in your eyes. You just look so worried for him.
Your hands rest in your lap. You twist and untwist your fingers. "If you don't want to, we don't - we don't have to do anything. I'm really sorry -"
"No, no, please don't be sorry." He reaches for you, gently squeezing your hand. It soothes him as much as it does you. "I want to. You don't know how much I want to."
"But?"
His eyes squeeze shut. He can't bring himself to meet your eyes. "You haven't seen it before - my arm, my shoulder."
"Oh."
He drops your hand. That feeling takes over him again. It feels like there's not enough air in the room. He slides away from you, closer to the edge of the tiny couch in your apartment. "It's - I am not pretty."
It breaks your heart, watching him pull away from you. You can only imagine how many people have turned away from him before. "James..."
He fervently shakes his head, refusing to open his eyes, "No, no, I know what you're gonna say, but it's bad. A lot worse than you're thinking."
"How do you know what I'm thinking?"
"It's bad," he insists. "I see it every day and I can barely - it's just bad, okay?"
You take his hand, squeezing it tightly. "It's okay if you don't want me to see it. I understand."
He finally opens his eyes again as his eyebrows pull together. He still doesn't meet your eye. "No, no, I want to - I trust you with this, I do. I just - I want you to be prepared."
In that moment, you realize that it's not really about preparing you. Not at all.
He thinks you're going to react badly. He thinks that this will make you turn away from him for the first time ever. He's worried that the love and adoration in your eyes will turn to disgust and repulsion.
It's less about preparing you for the scarred flesh, and more about warning you that he couldn't take a bad reaction. He's not sure he could take it if you turned away from him too.
"I love you," you promise him. "There's nothing that you could show me that would change that. I hope you know that."
There is no response to that. And you know that he won't believe it until he sees it. It takes him a moment. His hand toys with the hem of his shirt. His hand grips the hem, only to let it go.
"I love you," you remind him.
He takes a large gulp of air, pulling off his shirt with one quick movement.
You weren't really sure what you were expecting. You knew the story. You knew how Bucky lost his arm. He even confided the bits and pieces he remembered from getting his vibranium arm.
Your eyes trail over his skin. The shoulder is scarred, scars jut in every direction. Each scar is etched into his skin. It's clear it was a painful, violent experience for him. The metal plate protrudes from the scar tissue in a way that you're sure was painful when first placed. You look on with curiosity, you're not really sure how this, a sign of survival, a badge of resilience, could ever make anyone turn away from him.
He's as breathtaking as you could ever imagine.
Your eyes flicker up at him. He looks at the blank wall of your apartment, scared to watch your facial expressions as you take it in. "Can I?"
He nods, barely able to look you in the eyes. He sucks in a breath when your fingers make contact with the scar tissue surrounding the metal plate.
You immediately pull your fingers back, worried you've accidentally hurt him. "Does it hurt?"
"No," he answers reflexively.
You know he's lying. "I've seen you holding your shoulder before - holding it like it hurts."
"Sometimes," he amends. "The doctor said there's a lot of nerve damage. Things they can't fix."
"Does it hurt now?"
"No."
You run your hand over the plate, over his scars, down to his shoulder blade.
"Still think I'm pretty?" he sarcastically remarks.
You press a gentle kiss to his bare shoulder. "I'll always think you're pretty. Every part of you."
Bucky Barnes Masterlist AnonymityIsFun Masterlist
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Curiosity Killed The Cat
prompt: after rescuing you from kidnappers, you overhear your boyfriend-turned-savior complain about how clingy you've become.
pairing: Mafia!Bucky Barnes x female!reader
fandom masterlist: Marvel
collection masterlist: Clingy Baby
word count: 5.1k+
note: author wants things out of her drafts! also don't take this fic too seriously, it's not much at all - just me writing for the fuck of it until i'm ready to focus on my bigger projects.
warnings: modern AU, Mafia AU, obvious cursing, small hurt and comfort, brief depiction of physical violence and self-destruction in the form of: loss of appetite, lack of sleep, other symptoms of depression. NOT edited! author is ashamed because she knows she can give you something better but oh well.
Your feet planted, jarring you to a halt the moment you heard your name in a conversation you were not apart of.
You heard the hammering of your heart, echoing beats of your blood pumping with harrowing desperation. Hands turned cold and clammy, sweat breaking out on your brow and then freezing, feeling as if your throat had swollen to a new restriction and you were anchored in you in place.
Rooted.
But for now, all you could identify was the paralyzing anxiety that anchored you to your spot and made your heartbeat thunder in your ears. You stood outside the lounge, unable to comprehend relevant thought; still listening to low, docile tones continue their conversation, but you couldn't hear real words.
You were stunned. Panicked, confused, hurt - so very hurt. That seemed to register, too; you were really, really hurt.
This was perhaps why curiosity killed the cat.
You reprimanded yourself for listening in - transporting back to childhood during all the times your parents would scold you for eavesdropping. You knew it was wrong, you knew this was a private conversation meant to be shared between trusting confidants, but you couldn't help it - you heard your name and stopped. It was natural, right? To feel curious regarding a conversation seemingly about you that you, yourself, was not apart of?
Curiosity, indeed.
Blinking rapidly, you remembered the only other time you felt such mounting, pressurized fear, and while it might be dramatic, the only other time you could remember this level of anxiety was from about two months ago...
"Yes, baby, I got the bacon."
"And the jalapeĂąos?"
"Uh-huh, the biggest they had."
"Cream cheese?"
"Do you know who you're talking to?" You laughed into the phone. "I'm a professional housewife by now, you can relax. I got all you needed for your fancy little dinner experiment."
Bucky laughed down the phone, "Oh, please, like I didn't see you salivating when we watched the segment on Top Chef."
"Hush," you laughed, too. "I'm leaving the store now," you told him, pushing out of the heavy glass doors, "and should be home in, like, 10 minutes?"
"Lemme pick you up."
"I have legs to walk with, so, no thank you."
He sighed, "Well, I'll open the wine to let it breathe. Red's still good?"
"Let's do a white tonight, please."
"Good deal," he mused softly. "Hey, I was thinking earlier - "
"Hang on," you pleaded.
"What's wrong?"
"No, nothing. There's just a van slowing down, I don't want to get hit," you chuckled some, looking up and down the street before crossing. "Sorry, so, what were you thinking?"
"We haven't been to Paris in months."
You smirked, "I'm sure our plants in the apartment are dead by now."
Bucky laughed, "Oh, I am, too. But, look, how 'bout it, Peach? You, me, all the croissants we can consume this weekend. I'll take Monday and Tuesday off, we can leave tomorrow night."
"Oh, that sounds nice," you moaned. "Paris in the spring? Baby, that's so dreamy!"
"So, is that a yes?"
"It's a hell yes," you grinned. "Do you know the weather?"
"Supposed to be nice and sunny, not too warm or cold. Figured this would be ideal," he chuckled. "But does the weather matter if we're in bed the whole time?"
"No, we're not wasting our time!" You laughed. "We're gonna go do shit, okay? Stereotypical tourist-couple shit."
"I'll bring the camera."
"And I was hoping we could have dinner at that little place we love?"
"I wouldn't take you anywhere else," he mused.
"I think it's - FUCK!" Bucky froze when he heard the screeching of tires; a van coming up to a skidding halt, flurry of voices all yelling but he heard yours clearly. "No, no, no, hey, hey, what the hell's happening? Hey! What's this - hey, hey! Don't touch me! Ow, shit! No! Hey! Fuck's sake - oh, my God! Ow! Hey!"
"Baby!? Peach! Hey! The fuck's going on!?"
There was a thudding over the phone, and Bucky listened to more struggling - more fidgeting and fighting - and then the slamming of a car door. Still calling your name, Bucky heard a scrape over the line before a different voice answered your phone, "James Barnes. On behalf of HYDRA, you're overdue on your payment and we warned you there would be consequences. Deliver the full amount of 17 million - "
"It's 15," he growled.
"Two million more for the inconvenience of stalking your woman."
"If you even so much as touch her, I swear to God - "
"17 million at midnight, at the pier, or every minute you're late, she'll receive the brunt end of our frustration."
"Don't hurt her - "
"Midnight, Mr. Barnes, at the pier - you know where. Don't be late, she looks like she won't last long."
The line went dead after he heard your screech of pain, confusion, and fear. The moment the line cut, he dropped his phone and slowly lowered himself to sit on the kitchen floor, shock coloring his system. It wasn't that he didn't have the money, quite the opposite - but he and his men had a plan in motion to take out HYDRA, their org's competition, and this was totally against all they anticipated. After a minute to sit in his own worry, Bucky jumped to his feet, grabbed his phone, keys, wallet, and two handguns; holstering them both before shrugging his suit jacket on.
He made every phone call he could, gathering the men he trusted most to (one of) his warehouse(s).
For hours, you were strung up by your wrists in a joint-pulling position while the Brooklyn Mafia formulated a plan of attack. It was the most pain you've ever known, but then the abuse started and you were blinded by this new pain. You had bruises most places, cuts that wept blood; scars that would never heal, wounds that wouldn't ever close. You were delirious, miserable, confused, just dazed and confused; praying to a God who didn't listen.
"Oh, look at that," your captor mocked, holding a thick-bladed hunting knife in hand, "it's one minute til midnight, and I don't see your loverboy anywhere."
You sniffled, unable to respond.
He stared out the lone window, tisking and narrating, "Nope, I see not a soul - and with how protective he is over you, you'd think he'd want to ensure your safety. Not leave it to chance, huh?"
You whimpered as the clock struck midnight, your heart hammering in heavy-hung worry. You had tears in your eyes, heart nearly beating out of your chest, feeling incredibly nauseous. The desire to scream never lessened, just fearing what was to come; the men in the room making you fear for the state of your life, their knuckles cracking. You only begged, "Please. Don't."
The main captor laughed, "You can do better than that! C'mon, give me the satisfaction of tellin' ol' James you begged for mercy - but it wasn't enough to sway me. I'll lie, for sure, and say it happened but it will be so much sweeter if you actually do it."
"Please," you shook your head, avoiding eye contact. "Just don't do this, please."
"Oh, honey," he mocked, "it's not our fault he's late. Lads! Have at her, but leave her face for now - she's still real pretty."
You listened as he gave commands in Russian, understanding after the years at Bucky's side; whimpering when the first blow landed to your gut and knocked the wind out of you. The minutes drug by and you felt your resolve crumbling, heart still hammering to a never-before-felt speed that made it feel as if it were jumping out of your very body at every single pulse point. You struggled in your restraints, but it was futile by how tight you were bound; unable to protect yourself.
At 12:03 am, the doors blew open in a resounding blast; concrete crumbling and sprinkling the floor. You cried out as the smoke choked you, coughing through the haze; only barely able to make out certain figures to know Bucky had brought his best men. However, despite the sting to your eyes from the swirling dust and smoke, you saw a lone man stalk through the blasted wall, through the fray, and straight up to you.
"Bu-Bucky!" You choked in relief as he reached to untie your feet first. You dangled for only a moment as his metal prosthetic ripped off whatever held your wrists to the torture contraption. "Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Bucky, holy shit, baby, please, please, please," you rambled as he freed you and instantly caught you on his broad shoulders.
"I got you, Peach, I'm here, I've got you," he promised in your ear, hoisting your legs around his waist so they latched and then wrapping his arms around you securely. "Don't let go and don't look up, okay? Hear me, Peach?"
You nodded into his neck, only able to cry.
Bucky jolted and jerked slightly as he moved through the fight again, but not a minute later, you were stepping outside into the sobering, brisk spring air. This was the moment you understood how dangerous and fleeting life with Bucky could be, making a promise to yourself that if he says take the car, you'll take the fucking car.
And now, here you were, outside the high-rise apartment's lounge (which was just a converted bedroom), listening to your boyfriend complain about you some 2 months after the whole fiasco. HYDRA had been all but wiped out, and in the weeks since, Bucky's men had gone on smaller missions to eradicate the HYDRA members they heard rumor of being local. Yet you didn't feel safe, yet.
You didn't feel safe if you weren't around Bucky.
Everything made you jump: the beep of the done-dryer, that spritz of the automatic fragrance mister in the bathroom, the "duh-dunnn" of a loaded-up Netflix. Keys jingling, car horns, the barking of the dog in the apartment a floor below you... Everything.
Being around Bucky was just like holding a safety blanket. He would always protect you, and for about a week after your rescue, he laid in bed and around the home with you; being lazy; time off work to simply hold you and assure you were safe. Safe in his arms. Safe in his embrace, his presence.
So now... To hear this... You were devastated.
You didn't mean to eavesdrop, it just sort of happened. It was still earlier in the morning, but Bucky hadn't been in bed beside you and based on the feel of the sheets, his body hadn't been there in a while. So, you made some coffee and then ventured around the home in search of your lover; coming upon the lounge and hearing voices from within.
You knew it was common for Steve Rogers and / or Sam Wilson to stay late or visit early, so, you weren't shocked by that, but did falter in announcing yourself when you heard Sam ask how you were doing since the kidnapping. He used your name specifically, making Bucky sigh, and for your curiosity to peak.
"She's different, man."
"How so?" Sam wondered.
"She doesn't like being without me now," he chuckled without humor. "I'm serious, she won't go to the gym until I do, waits to have meals together, won't leave the house if I'm out, and," he scoffed to himself, "you can forget going to the grocery store or anything - she's even stopped going to work - "
"You told her to stop working, like, two years ago when y'all first moved-in together," Sam deadpanned.
"I know," Bucky shrugged, "but it feels tenfold now that she's so reclusive."
"It's normal," Steve sighed gently.
"Yeah? Is it normal that I can't even go take a shit without promising her I'll be right back?" Bucky snapped in exasperation. "It's that bad, she's that fucking clingy, man. I go in the kitchen to make dinner, she's in there 30 seconds later to 'help' me. I take a shower, she finds a reason to linger in the bedroom, but that was better than before, when she wouldn't even shower by herself. It's just a lot, she's everywhere I look. I'm starting to find new reasons not to come home, man, she's always fucking here - and when I walk in the door, she's on me. I need to fucking breathe, but I can't tell her to stop, she'll get her feelings hurt and then I'm the bad guy."
"Man," Steve laughed, "you can't be the bad guy if you go to her in a calm and collected manner, but it's only been two months. She's still recovering."
"Exactly why if I say anything, no matter how calm and collected, I'm the bad guy. I get she's hurting and tryna recover, but Goddamn, does she have to be in every room I'm in? Do everything with me? How do I tell my traumatized girlfriend to back off? Let me breathe?"
Sam laughed, "You don't! You just said it - she's traumatized! Cut the girl some slack, she's got a lot to fuckin' deal with!"
"I'm not negating from that fact," Bucky argued, "I'm just trying to say, the way she's clinging onto me like she can't function without me is just grating at my nerves. I just need to breathe and recharge, but I can't tell her that - fuck's sake."
"Buck," Steve smirked, "you're worried Peach isn't gonna listen, but that's her literal superpower. Just communicate, she can't read your mind, but you need to remember how traumatic all of that was for her to experience - she's scarred from that kidnapping, man. So, sure, you need to recharge, but she needs the support."
"Is it wrong to ask for a day here and there to do that? To recharge?" Bucky asked quietly.
"If you communicate, it's perfectly reasonable to ask for," Sam assured softly. "And whatever you do, don't tell her you think she's clingy. Chicks hate that, that word is, just, like, taboo or something. Real heavy, negative connotations."
"But she is," Bucky growled quietly, "'s like she's afraid to let go 'cause I'll disappear or something."
"Oh, noooo," Sam mocked, "I'm Bucky and my girlfriend loves me too much and trusts me too much and actually feels safe and dependent on me too much - ohhh noooo!"
There was a thump, Sam's cried, "Ow!", and Bucky telling him to shut up. You slowly backed away from the door, trying to settle your breathing as you made your escape down the hall. When back in the kitchen, you whimpered and let the first tears fall... The first of many you shed in the hour it took you to prepare breakfast for everyone; doing your best to eat as you cooked so you didn't have to linger around the men. You took Bucky's words to heart, and maybe you were too sensitive, maybe you should venture outside again.
So, when the lads came out, you set the table without making eye contact with any of them. "Here," you directed, setting the pancakes down, "I made breakfast, come eat, it's still hot."
"Wow," Sam smiled brightly, "thanks, Peach!"
You hummed, still avoiding their eyes as you just set the abundance of food to the table. "You... Cooked without me?" Bucky asked you with skepticism.
"Mhm," you hummed, setting the coffee pot down to a hot pad, "and I'm going out shopping with Nat, so, eat up, lads, I'll do the dishes when I get home. Love you, boys, bye," you waved them off, snatching your keys and then moving to the door to stuff your feet into your sneakers.
"Woah, woah, woah," Bucky left the table, approaching you urgently, "hey, what do you mean? You're goin' out?"
"Yep, figured I've stayed in too long, might as well get out and remember life doesn't stop just 'cause I'm sad."
"Peach - "
"I'll see you when I get home, Buck, okay?" You mumbled, slinging your purse on your shoulder.
"Well, here, here, hey, wait, hang on," he pulled his wallet out, handing you over a wad of big bills. "Spend it all, okay? Have fun, call or text if you need me, yeah?"
"Sure."
Bucky leaned in to kiss you but you just opened the door, ready to leave. He frowned, watching you, barely managing to call a quick, "Love you!"
You didn't return the sentiment, feeling hallow and all too silly to return the affection. In your purse was your laptop, headphones, chargers, and whatever else, so, instead of meeting your friend, Natasha - being just a ruse to avoid Bucky - you started small and just went to the local cafĂŠ. You used to frequent it back in the day, but times were changed, and yet, they were all the happier to serve you the same as before. Getting cozy in the corner, you set up camp and ordered your favorite coffee basically every other hour - letting the day waste away as you caught up on work emails.
Might've wasted time on Instagram and Facebook and Pinterest. Got shopping done on Amazon. Browsed through Target's online selection. Checked out the sale items at Kate Spade. Perused Fenty Lingerie because you could.
Before you knew it, a message was coming in over your MacBook from Bucky, asking where you were - why had you turned your location off?
You packed up and with a to-go cup, made the short trek back home. When you got back, Bucky was pacing in the living room; staring at his phone and typing, then deleting, retyping, groaning, glancing up, typing again, then doing a double take. "Where've you been, Peach? Huh!?" Bucky demanded. "You're late!"
"Out with Nat," you eased.
He huffed through his nose, nodding slowly, "You have a nice time?"
"It was okay," you answered. "I'm gonna go to bed after I shower."
His brows furrowed, "I have a meeting tonight."
"I know."
"O...kay?" He let you go, wanting to ask why you didn't ask him to join like you had so often in the past few weeks.
And it didn't stop there, in fact, it got worse. When Bucky got home from his meeting, he was actually shocked to see you nestled in the bed; teetering on the edge of the shared space while snuggling a weighted body pillow.
When he tried to give you a snuggle, you stirred to life and pushed him back, muttering, "Too hot."
The following morning, he was relatively surprised to see you up and about before him; barely getting a word in before you were slipping out the door to go on a morning jog. He was confused by how all of a sudden, where you were once everywhere he looked, now, you were disappeared and distant and gone. You worked out alone, cooked alone - but always left him a plate, but long gone were the cute little sticky notes you left for him. You once haunted the apartment by never wanting to leave, and now, ghosted in and out of it on a daily basis.
You never bothered to go far from home. You liked hanging at the coffee shop and luckily, your job let you work from home most days, and the rare time you were due back in the office, it was only about a 20 minute walk. You got better at lying, couldn't even remember the last time you and Bucky had sex, and even now, the last time you had a meal together. You didn't text him about your day; where you once might've told him about an adorable dog you saw on the street, now, you only ever texted him if he asked a direct question.
Food lost appeal, your appetite vanished.
Sleep evaded you, plaguing you with nightmares when you did rest.
Interest dulled, passions were snuffed, and only fearful, confused anger remained. It showed in the way weight seemed to shift around your body, thinning; the lack of sleep creating dark rings and bags under your bloodshot eyes.
After two weeks of this, Bucky grew irritated and short with everyone around him. It reflected in his work, the way he spoke to everyone; even Steve and Sam getting the brunt end of his anger. Without you to assure him, Bucky was off his rocker; losing his cool; his patience stretched far too thin. So much so, the two mates approached an outside associate, Natasha Romanoff, after a particularly snappy meeting to plead for her to talk to Bucky.
"James," Nat greeted as she strode into his office without knocking.
"I know you're my oldest friend, but you don't have that privilege yet," he mused, never looking up.
"What?"
"Not knocking. What is it, Nat?"
"Just came to check on you, you know, like friends do."
"Hm," he chuckled without humor, "and what did Peach say to you?"
"About...?"
"Me."
"Nothing, I haven't gotten ahold of her for weeks."
Bucky paused, slowly lifting his head in confusion; brows furrowed and mouth set in a firm, straight line. "What?" He grit.
"Huh?" Nat wondered.
"She's been telling me that she's hanging out with you for the past two weeks," he revealed.
"Nope, not since the incident with HYDRA."
Bucky's (right) flesh hand crushed the pen in his grip, taking a long breath. "All right," he sighed, "so, why come today?"
"What's really going on, Buck?" She worried softly. "Is it really whatever's going on with Peach? You're this pissed off? What'd she even do?"
"She just..." He cut himself off with a long sigh. "It's nothing."
"Bucky," Nat gave a pointed look.
"She's just avoiding me," he muttered. "It's like she's barely home, almost like a ghost."
"Isn't that what you wanted?"
"Yes, and no," Bucky snipped, rolling his neck out. "I'm just worried about her now, she's never not communicated before."
"Something's bothering her," Nat shrugged. "She probably needs you right now, Buck."
"I can't do it all," he whispered. "I can't be who she wants and run this organization at the same time."
"She doesn't need that, she just needs you to be her partner," Natasha spoke softly. "She needs to feel loved and supported, and surely, she maybe felt weird about whatever you were projecting. Instead of taking it out on your men," she smirked, "why don't you just talk to her? 'Cause I hear you're bein' a more-than-usual asshole lately. You need to ease up or get laid, 'cause you're taking it out on good, loyal men, and that's entirely unfair."
"They can take it."
"Sure, but they shouldn't have to," Nat rolled her eyes. "Look, since you won't answer me, I'm assuming the sour mood is in regard to whatever relationship issues you have right now?"
"Sure," he tossed the pen away, opened a skinny drawer to his right and select an identical one.
"Bucky," she growled.
He sighed, "She's lying to me, Nat. Saying she's with you when she's not... Is this an affair? She's gone all the time now."
"No way," Nat laughed. "Baby girl doesn't have the energy to entertain anyone - let alone two men. You're just the exception."
"Why lie, then?"
"Maybe she didn't want you questioning her..."
"No shit."
"Well, did you get into a fight?"
"No."
"Any reason she doesn't want to be home?"
He shook his head with a sigh, "Not that I know of."
"You had to do something."
"Honest, I haven't. She was being all clingy, but then one day, a switch flipped."
Nat frowned, "You think... Your girlfriend is being clingy... Because she was kidnapped and beaten up... Because of your fucking job... And is probably scared...out of...her mind...? I get that correct?"
Bucky paused for a long moment, muttering, "Oh, my God."
"Yeah, you asshole. Think of it that way! She's afraid!" Natasha snapped. "And probably picked up on your energy, so, she made herself scarce."
"I didn't mean - "
"I don't care, go home, apologize to that sweet angel - she doesn't deserve this."
Bucky paused, "What is 'this' exactly?"
"James. Focus on the present - your woman. Go make this right. We all know you're this big, bad dude - but it's okay to be a little sensitive towards the woman who loves you without condition!"
Bucky relented, figuring the redheaded Russian mobster was right.
The entire drive home, Bucky considered the ways you had changed in the few, short weeks since he vented to Sam and Steve about your clinginess. You didn't take meals with him, didn't cook, work-out, or do anything you used to do together. Sex? Forget it. Dates? Nope. Cuddling? No, you're always 'too hot'. And when he thought about it, he remembers seeing the wads of cash he'd leave for you stuffed in his sock drawer - surely trying to make him think it was just another emergency fund he had hidden. You never spent his money, feeling humiliated by his choice of words.
Clingy...
You didn't text or call him when he was gone, you hadn't even so much as kissed him in what felt like ages... Well, more like you hadn't initiated any kisses...
His heart weighed in his chest as he realized he hadn't even so much as hugged you in days. You were rarely in the apartment together, and when you were, you were just silent and busy with chores. It was as if you operated on the exact opposite schedule as he did, went to new extents to avoid him, and his heart clenched in his chest.
When he got home, you were caught cooking in the kitchen - being obvious that you weren't expecting him. The door slammed and his baritone voice snapped, "Peach!"
You gulped, holding the sauce-covered wooden spoon to your chest. When he rounded around the corner, he found you and slowed down, sighing in relief. "What's wrong?" You worried in a timid tone.
He panted lightly, relaying, "Needed to find you."
"I'm here."
"I know," he relented, charging up to you and engulfing you in a tight, heavy hug. "I needed to talk to you, Peach," he whispered.
"What's wrong?"
"You. You're what's wrong."
"What the fuck does that - "
"No, no," he pulled back to stare down at you fondly, "I don't mean it like that, just that... You're struggling. I can see that. But you're not alone, I'm here with you, and I got a little caught up in my head when I realized someone was so very dependent on me - it fucking scared me. But then... Then you just shut yourself off and hid away from me, and oh, my God, it's so much worse, baby. Don't do that," he breathed, "okay? Don't ever shut me out - don't stop loving me, don't stop talking to me, don't give up on us. I can't read your mind, you can't read mine, it's not an excuse - but we understand better when we trust each other enough to communicate what's required. I'm so sorry I got caught up in myself, I didn't know what you needed - but I'm here now, I'm here - I'm not leaving you."
You collapsed into his chest, taking a shuddering breath.
"Don't ever stop talking to me, Peach," Bucky whispered, kissing the top of your head; keeping you close. "I'm so sorry, baby, if I - "
"If?" You snapped, pulling back to glare at him through your tears. "I heard you, Bucky. I heard you talking to Sam and Steve, and about how clingy I am."
"I was wrong," he insisted. "I was overwhelmed and tired and just stretched thin, the easiest thing to do is attack those closest to me, and that's you. It's not right, it's the worst I could do to you after all you've been through, and I'm so sorry. I was wrong, you're not the person to take this out on - and I'm so sorry, Peach."
You sighed, "I don't mean to be... I don't mean to cling - "
"Nah," he chuckled, caressing your cheek, "you cling as much as you want. Cling as tight as you want, baby, don't let me go. I'm sorry for what I said and the way it made you feel, it was wrong - so fucking wrong of me, and I see that. When you pulled away from me, I just... I couldn't think. It felt so wrong, and I knew it was my fault." He took your face in both palms, promising, "I'm so sorry, Peach."
You shrugged meekly, "It's okay."
"It's not."
"No, but apologizing is a step in the right direction."
He nodded, "What else can I do?"
"Nothing - "
"Peach."
You paused to think, smiling shyly, "Movie night?"
"Whatever my pretty girl wants," he nodded.
"Hmm... Get a bath with me?"
"All right... Sure, okay..."
"And face masks."
He sighed, "Okay."
"And mani-pedis."
"Baby."
"You said you were making it up to me, right?"
He smirked, "That's right... All right, yeah, sure, fine, we can..." He sighed again, "We can do all that, Peach, whatever you want."
"I just want you," you told him softly. "I didn't mean to be so clingy. I was just afraid... I felt afraid everyday, just so very unsure in this life. You're the only thing that makes sense to me, Buck, and when I heard you, I just... I guess I realized how dependent I'd been and wanted to give you space. Last thing I want is to smother you, to drive you away from me."
"Not ever gonna happen," he promised softly. "I just didn't handle it like I should've. I'm sorry, Peach, but I'm here now - for whatever you need. Want me to take a few days off, just be together? I'll arrange it. Want to get away for a bit? We can go."
"I just need you," you whispered. "Only you and I should be okay - I can be okay if I have you, but feeling like I lost you? Even a fraction? Buck... James, it was such a harrowing feeling, I wasn't sure what to do to move forward. So, I think I just panicked, shut down; thought if I could just get back to normal, you'd love me again..."
"I never stopped loving you," he swore, "I just had a bad lapse in my own judgement. Nothing against you, baby. Nothing."
You nodded again, letting him tuck you into his chest; perfectly snug under his chin as he coiled his arms around you. He let out a long sigh, his guilt swelling to new heights, but for that present moment, everything seemed okay.
Felt okay.
Appeared okay.
And you'd both do whatever it took to remain as okay as you possibly could.
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JUNO - Bucky Barnes
Authors Note: Gah, here we go again with the bucky fics since he looked so damn good in that trailer! Enjoy!
Word Count: 4215
Warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT.....and more smut.
Requests: OPEN
Main Masterlist ~ ~ Halloween 2024 Event
[Thank you for the gif @ayo-edebiri ]
Enjoy!
âDon't have to tell your hot ass a thing
Oh yeah, you just get it
Whole package, babe, I like the way you fit
God bless your dad's genetics, mm, uhâ
-
You were a terrible terrible person, this was a fact. It would be put on whatever wikipedia page they made for villains as soon as people figured it out, which considering the rage building in your body would be any moment now. Why were you a terrible person? Thatâs easy to explain.Â
There was a time where everyone avoided your boyfriend like the plague, when the Winter Soldier cliche had been stuck to his image like a nail in a tire and everyone treated him like crap. And who stayed by his side? You. Not that it was ever about keeping score because you just wanted what was best for him. But now that people are all about kissing his ass since he had some new found fame? You wished things would go back to the way they were. And that made you a terrible person.Â
Who would want things to go back when your love was treated terribly?
But then you see girls like Montana clinging to his side and that little green monster in the pit of your stomach begins growing and growing until it leads to moments like now, with you standing at the bar clutching your glass like it was the only thing tethering you to this earth.Â
Yet another gala was being thrown, this time it was âRockstars for Schooling Fundsâ and Bucky was required to attend for PR. And attend your man did. The jacket, the tie, the pushed back hair and the hot ass glare.Â
From the second you saw him ready for tonight you were ready to pull him into the bedroom and never leave, your skin grew hot just remembering the feeling of his hands roaming your body as you tried to lead him into the bedroom. He obviously didnât fall for it and now you were here watching Montana hold onto his arm as she laughed at something he said.Â
As if sensing your glare he turns to catch your eye, and you know that he was surveying your safety by the sharp look in his eyes and all you can think was âGod bless your dads geneticsâ. But you refuse to break for him, so you shrug and turn back to the bar ready to order yourself another drink.Â
Best thing about wearing a dress like the one you were wearing tonight? Attention. Within seconds the men at the bar were clamoring to buy you a drink, crooked smiles and lame pick up lines. The prized contender? The southern man with kind eyes wearing his very own black cowboy hat.Â
This could be fun.Â
âWhatâll it be?â He drawls and you have to fight off the blush filling your cheeks just at the sound of it.Â
âHmm, I haven't decided yet.â You flirt, batting your lashes for a second. âThink you can help a girl out?â
âThereâs the âSave a Horse, Ride a Cowboyâ.â He reads off the little menu, looking up to you from under his hat, giving a smooth wink and you huff out a small laugh.Â
âWould it be worth my time?â
âItâs the best on the menu from what I can see.â As if on cue you both look out to the crowd around you at the gala, with loud music and cheesy rockstar costumes, and whilst he is trying to make a point your eyes roam for a familiar head of hair. But the group that Bucky had been sitting with for the past 30 minutes was now short a member, your man. âWho would want to waste time with any of these cruds when you could have a real drink sugar?â
But the words were lost on you as your eyes traced over the room in a hurried panic. Where did he go?
But then your nose fills with a familiar woodsy scent as a familiar arm wraps around your waist in a tight grip that has the cowboy standing straight up in his own panic.Â
âYeah Doll, how bout a real drink?â
-
âYou make me wanna make you fall in love
Oh, late at night, I'm thinking 'bout you, ah-ah
Wanna try out my fuzzy pink handcuffs?
Oh, I hear you knockin', baby, come on upâ
-
That little green monster building in your stomach? Now she had a fire pal burning straight through your skin at the image of the icy glare Bucky managed to send in the cowboys direction, the fingers on your waist tightening and digging into your skin.Â
âI was just talking to my friend here about drinks.â You hum out, watching his jaw tighten as he continues to glare. âWhat do you know about drinks?â
The cowboy, who you now knew to be a foolish man since he still stood in that spot, lets out a smooth chuckle. âConsidering heâs holding an old fashioned I would say not much, Sugar.â
âReally? I always thought that the old fashioned ways worked in seduction. At least they did for me.â Bucky all but growls out, pulling you closer to him. âNow how bout we ask the gal. Do my old fashioned ways work?âÂ
As if to prove his point he presses his thigh between your legs just a notch and squeezed at your waist, you were lost.Â
âNo words? Hmm? Interesting.â He smiles, âThink you need a break from the crowd?â
He doesnât waste time waiting for an answer, rather he keeps his grip on your waist as he leads you through the large gala, keeping the glare on his features that has people backing away to avoid his anger. You however basked in it, and as he lead you into the bathroom with the slam of the door and an easy movement to lock the door.Â
You got right to work, hopping onto the counter and wiggling a bit as he turns back to you.Â
You look up at him through you lashes, kicking one foot out a bit to expose your leg to him. âI mean not that I donât love this vibe, we didnât pack the handcuffs baby.âÂ
âOh so the pretty girl thinks sheâs funny.â He chuckles, stepping forward and moving his hands to the top of your thighs to squeeze before pulling you forward harshly. âIn case you havenât realized it, this is the moment where you start giving me reasons to give you what you so badly want.âÂ
Words failed you as his palms roamed your skin, rubbing soft circles to begin pushing up your dress.Â
âOh, Iâm the one in trouble here?â You huff, leaning back as he pushed his way in between your thighs. âFunny, here I was thinking of granting you mercy.â
âOh thatâs how we are playing it, huh?â And just like that he is pressing the pad of his flesh thumb right onto your core, pulling a sharp gasp from you as you tried to close your legs out of instinct only for him to press you down with his metal hand. âYou were saying, sugar?â
âOhâŚâ You moan, back arching as he circles his thumb with a smug smile, leaning into you to pull your lips into a fervent kiss. It draws your breath until your gasping into him for air, your hands woven into his hair to keep him there and save you all in the same go while he teases at pulling your panties down only to pull back in a matter of seconds leaving you there to try and catch your breath.Â
Seconds away from achieving your high only to be left stranded leaves you whining and leaning forward to get him back into your arms.Â
He tsks at you, pushing you back gently as you continue whining.Â
âWhat will you give me?â
âAnything.â You gasp out, kissing at the wrist of the hand holding you back, nipping at the flesh of it as you reach for him metal arm to pull you back in. He gives in a little, allowing you to press your hips into his so release some of the pressure. âPlease baby.â
âThen how about you behave for the last hour, and weâll go home and get you sorted. Yeah?â
âFine,â You snip out, tracing your hand up his metal arm before making it to his collarbone and pressing your hips further into his. âIâll be good. I promise.â
-
âI know you want my touch for life
If you love me right, then who knows?
I might let you make me Juno
You know I just mightâ
-
And you feel like a fool for making that promise as he leads you through the crowd once more, this time with a pressure begging to be released in your lower belly as he keeps his metal hand on your lower back. The chill of the metal while your body is ablaze has you reeling, reaching a hand back to keep a hold on him.Â
You think of all the things he can do to you as he talks with the Galas president, digging your nails into the sleeve of his tux as you push your thighs together a bit, leaning your nose into him to inhale his scent as he talks with a bold presence.Â
When that Montana girl comes back you learn that she is an assistant for the program and that little green monster leads you to nip at his ear in front of her before kissing at his neck to leave a lipstick mark.Â
He looks at you for a moment, leaning in to give you a peck on the lips before turning to talk to her some more but itâs too late, youâre already in a haze. The green monster and the red flame have mixed to make their very own monster.Â
So you pull him in by his tie, pressing your lips to his ear and whispering the words you knew would break him. âGimme me a baby.â
-
âLet you lock me down tonight
One of me is cute, but two though?
Give it to me, baby
You make me wanna make you fall in love (Oh)â
-
It was the one secret weapon youâve never used, but have always known about.Â
Back in the beginning of the relationship while you were learning the ins and outs of eachother you noticed how much he loved the pill since it hadnât been too popular back in his day. He loved the freedom it gave him to mark you as his, but you also noticed the lingering gaze on your stomach and or the intent look he gave when you took the pill.Â
But you had never been ready for a kid, you wanted to save that for that someone special who you could raise them with. But you knew that Bucky was it, you knew that he was your touch for life. Why not give in?
And the thrill of giving in the second his eyes meet yours makes it worth it, seeing the heat as he pulls you in so tight you might as well be one person.Â
âCome on baby, one of me is cute but two though?â You whisper, leaning up to bite at his lip before his hands come up to pull you into a feral kiss as he begins to lead you out the doors.Â
-
âI showed my friends, then we high-fived (Ah-ah)
Sorry if you feel objĐľctified (Ah-ah)
Can't help myself, hormonĐľs are high
Give me more than just some butterfliesâ
-
âEasy there.â He grunts out the second you press him into the seats of the limo, straddling him with ease as your nails rake down his chest to begin tracing the buttons of his shirt. âI might feel objectified.â
âI donât give a shit,â You gasp, ripping his shirt open before attacking his chest with kisses. You take to kissing his chest, dragging your lips from spot to spot in order to mark him as much as you can as he pulls you down to move his hips into your with a groan.Â
Your eyes flutter closed at the heat that crosses through your body at the sound, whining out a bit as he begins to grind into you, pulling you up from his chest with a swift pull to lock your lips together as the limo makes a turn.Â
The kiss was feral, teeth gnashing, thigh clenching kiss that has you gripping his shoulders and pushing your hips into his a little quicker. Biting down onto his lip when he stills your hips with his hands before pulling back.Â
âYou gonna let me lock you down?â He whispers, rubbing your hip as he moves you with ease until your legs are splayed over his lap and he can reach between them to pull more moans from you. âGonna let me keep you forever?â
âYesâŚ.â You whine out the second he begins rubbing at your core once more, this time with the metal hand. The chill of the metal over the fabric is driving you crazy and you press your hips up for more pressure and as a sign you want the panties off.Â
He is quick to oblige, pulling his hand to the waistband of them and ripping them off in one easy movement before pushing his fingers back to ease one into your center. âIâll give you anything you want. But you already knew that when you said I could give you a baby. Didnât you?â
And just like that he pushes two more fingers in, curling them in a fluid motion as his lips press into the pressure point of your throat. He works his fingers in a fast paced motion as you close your eyes and give into the feeling, letting him suck and bite at your neck as much as he wanted to.Â
And once you reach your high he merely speeds up his movements until your shaking in his lap.Â
âAtta girl.â He grunts, pulling his fingers up to suck on while you blink at him, still shaking from that orgasm.Â
âI love you.â You murmur to him, leaning on for a gentle kiss. He laughs into it, rubbing at the back of your neck in a sweet gesture before putting your torn panties in his pocket and looking to see how close you are to home.Â
-
âYou make me wanna make you fall in love
Oh, late at night, I'm thinking 'bout you, ah-ah
Wanna try out some freaky positions?
Have you ever tried this one?â
-
The calm ease he had built up for the rest of the limo ride was quick to vanish the second the limo pulled up to the curb, pushing the door open and pulling you out so quickly your legs swing until he pulls you up so you can wrap them around his waist. âYou okay?â
âIâm fine.â You giggle, letting him carry you inside until the front door closes and he can set you down to lock it. Even in the mix of all this he can never slack on your safety, and you were sure that once he spent all your energy he would come down here for one last safety check.Â
You let him do what he needed to do, walking to the kitchen with a fleeting look to him before grabbing a glass of water to sip on while you waited, legs still a little shaky. But you donât have much time since he comes around the corner into the kitchen, leaning on the fridge with a small smile as he watches you every movement.Â
âEverything locked up and safe?â You ask, moving one step closer to him.
âYes.â He responds, the deep voice causing a shiver to move down your spine as he takes a step similar to yours without taking his eyes off you.Â
âI think itâs so hot you know.â One of his eyebrows raise at your words, the small smile turning into a smirk. âI donât think Iâve ever met anyone in this world as protective as you.â
He merely hums back, taking another step closer as his eyes roam over your body. âYeah?â
âMmhmm. And I was thinking that you deserved an award.âÂ
âI do?â You almost laugh at how innocent the question comes out, but you donât have time since your already turning to press yourself into the counter, pushing your hips out and pulling your dress up to expose yourself to him as he audibly growls. âHave we every tried this before?â
-
âI know you want my touch for life
If you love me right, then who knows?
I might let you make me Juno
You know I just mightâ
-
His hands are upon you in an instant, rubbing at your hips as his body presses into yours to kiss at the back of your neck, and you realize that he is still wearing his undershirt and pants. The metal of the belt buckle digs into your back as you reach back to undo his belt.Â
You hear him undo it and get ready, pressing your forehead into the tile of the counter as he grabs your hands and begins wrapping your hands together with the leather belt. And you should be embarrassed at the moan that fills the air once you realize what he is doing before he undoes his pants and you feel him press at your center.Â
Heâs quick to press in, and you both your moans fill the air as he presses his forehead into the exposed skin of your back before beginning to rut himself up into you. With every aggressive push of his hips into yours the doors of the cabinet on the counter shake, the cold tile of the counter hitting your hip over and over and over as he claims you for his own.Â
With one hand holding the belt that is biting into the flesh of your wrists and the other holding the counter to keep you both stable he stands straight and lets free. Every harsh threat is followed by his grunts and your moans, the sound of skin slapping filling the room before the hand from the counter comes to hold your hair.Â
Itâs feral, and hot. And the feeling of his flesh hand pulling at your hair has you tightening around him enough that he canât fight his own moan.Â
And the second you hear it you are coming undone around him, shaking harshly as he keeps you held up before you collapse, continuing his thrusts until you reach the peak of the high once more and spasm around him.Â
Once you come down, panting heavily and keeping your forehead pressed into the cold tile, he works on undoing his belt to release you as he pulls himself out of you and pulls his pants up.Â
You are quick to turn on him, tears in your eyes partly due to the intense orgasm and the fact that you still havenât gotten what you wanted. âBaby pleaseâŚ.â
âEasy doll.â He whispers, pulling you into his arms to wrap himself around you, picking you up easily. âYouâll get it. Donât you fret.â
-
âLet you lock me down tonight
One of me is cute, but two though?
Give it to me, baby
You make me wanna make you fall in loveâ
-
He carries you into the bedroom bridal style, setting you down at the foot of the bed before leaning down to grab the end of your dress and pull it over your head, kissing his way up your body so slowly you feel like you might just die. By the time the fabric is over your head he throws it to the side, his gaze meeting yours in a tense blaze.Â
You knew within an instant that he had gotten serious, and as you kept your gaze on his he let your hands roam until you begin pulling his undershirt off before you reach to undo his waistband. âWhatâs that look for?â
âDid you knowâŚ.â He keeps his voice to a whisper as he kicks off his shoes and shucks off his pants, pulling off his socks and throwing everything to the side before moving his hands to either side of your cheeks. âThat itâs not actually proven that the amount of orgasms a women has is connected to their ability to conceive.â
âYeah?â You smile, waiting for him to get to the pointÂ
âI did a lot of research.â He says proudly, âSo though the amount of orgasms I give you donât end up mattering in the endâŚ..they sure are fun.â
And you canât fight the loud laugh that escapes when he gently tackles you onto the bed, making it bounce a bit as he pushes your thighs open with his hands and pressing them into you by the backs of them.Â
âYou ready doll?â
âAlways for you sergeant.â
-
âAdore me
Hold me and explore me
Mark your territory (Ah-ah)
Tell me I'm the only, only, only, only one (Ah-ah)â
-
He keeps the eye contact, soft and open, as he slides himself between your folds to use your past orgasms as his lubricant before pressing into your center and moaning a bit as he pushes himself in. Whereas the romp downstairs had been feral and fast this one started slow, allowing him to kiss at your face as you adjusted to his size this time.Â
His weight presses you into the bed, and your hands find purchase at his back so he can pull himself back before pushing his hips back into yours. Slow and precise, every pull he left a kiss and every push has just enough friction on your core that has you arching your back.Â
It had been years of him learning your body and by this point he knew how to play it like the back of his hand. It was his and he liked keeping what's his cared for. When you arched a little more he knew he should speed up, and when you closed your eyes he reached a hand down to grip at the fat of your ass, fingers digging in as he readjusted you both for more pleasure.Â
And once you came around him, spasming and moaning loudly, all bets were off.Â
-
âAdore me
Hold me and explore me (Ah-ah)
I'm so fuckin' horny
Tell me I'm the only, only, only, only oneâ
-
His entire weight comes down, crushing you beneath him not that your complaining. Between the warmth of his skin and the mix of your sweat with his you both have traction to move as his thrusts turn wild.Â
Over and over at a speed he hadnât reached with you before, his eyes are clenched shut as he ruts into you, overstimulating you as you begin to sob from the pleasure. Your entire body shakes with every intense hump.Â
Between his thrusts you meet your peak once more, screaming out as his own thrusts become erratic and harsher.Â
By the time he finishes he leans down to your ear so you can hear the heavy moan that escapes him as he fills you to the brim, shaking and pinching you with his metal arm. And his release seems never ending as he continues to thrust, until you are both completely spent and collapse into the cool sheets.Â
-
â(Oh, I) I know you want my touch for life
If you love me right, then who knows?
I might let you make me Juno
You know I just might (Might)â
-
You had managed to fall asleep and only woke up at the realization that he wasnât near you, vision blurry as you looked around. He had cleaned you up and tucked you in with a glass of water on the nightstand, but his side of the bed was empty.Â
So you sit up, ready to go check on him, until you realize how sore you were and stay on the bed to listen for him. You hear the sound of him shuffling around downstairs to check all the locks before he begins climbing up the stairs.Â
You know he makes the noise for you, otherwise he would be as stealthy as an assassin.Â
By the time he enters the doorway there is a small smile playing at his lips while you open your arms and pull him in to lay with you.Â
âGoodnight.â You whisper.Â
âGoodnight, Doll.â
-
âLet you lock me down tonight
One of me is cute, but two though?
Give it to me, baby
You make me wanna make you fall in loveâ
-
The waiting was the most dreadful feeling.Â
Sitting on the edge of the bathtub with the test sitting on the counter between where you sat and where your husband sat in the hallway with the back of his head laid against the door.Â
It was silent but not in a malicious way, more of a calming way as his metal hand whirred before the alarm on your phone goes off and you both shoot up to look.Â
âIs itâŚâ
âIâŚ.â
And you both lean to look at the same time to see just how well those new positions took.
-
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#marvel#marvel imagine#marvel smut#marvel fluff#marvel angst#winter soldier
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thinking abt prof!Bucky eating you out in his little office...
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
Warning: 18+, smut
âË âżď¸ľâżď¸ľâżď¸ľŕ¨ŕ§ ¡ ¡ ⥠¡ ¡ ŕ¨ŕ§âżď¸ľâżď¸ľâżď¸ľ Ëâ
you had been on his mind for the whole entire day, the hunger inside him so irritating that he had no other chance to break your little rule of not doing anything in public.
now down on his knees and between your thighs, heâs messy being and heâs being sloppy â heâs got your slick running down his chin as he fucks you with his tongue, and his glasses keep fogging up from the way he keeps burying his face into your warm cunt. heâs like a starved beast, devouring you as if youâre the last meal heâll ever get to eat.Â
with your free hand, you tug at his roots and it only makes things worse for you because the action makes bucky groan into you and the vibrations that sends all over your body are so intense that your eyes go cross.Â
voices coming from the hallway fall deaf to your ears, your mind solely set on your sweet professorâs tongue. he moves his whole head, not just the muscle, and soon enough youâre guiding him just the way you like with the hand in his hair.
you canât keep your hips still either, grinding into him every time you push him against you. and he lets you do it. he lets you do it all.Â
Bucky isnât ashamed to get on his knees, nor is he ashamed to let you use him for your own pleasure â despite the fact that it was his aching cock that got the two of you into his situation, heâs more than willing to forget about his own needs as long as he knows that youâre feeling good.Â
he loves the way your brows furrow and he loves the way your chest rises and falls. he loves to watch beads of sweat form on your forehead and he loves to watch you try and muffle your moans. he loves the way your body keeps on twitching and he loves the way you keep clenching around him. and he fucking loves the way you taste.
his cock throbs under the layers of clothing, just begging to be set free but Bucky refuses to take his hands off of you.
heâd rather suffer from actual blue balls than to give you any less attention than you deserve. his boxers are ruined with his pre-cum, his balls full and heavy, as he gets off on the mere sight of you. he reckons heâs never been this fucking hard before, better yet this close to cumming untouched, and heâs sure youâve actually bewitched him. not that heâs complaining though.Â
you make him feel alive.
hell, he'd go to fucking war for your pretty little smile. when you give his roots a particularly rough tug, he knows you're close. so, he lets go of one of your thighs and brings it to your pussy instead; latching his lips around your sensitive clit, he sucks on the nub while lining up his two digits with your weeping hole.
the face you make when he pushes them in is fucking priceless - your lips part in a silent moan, your eyes screwing themselves shut as you approach your high.
using his middle and ring finger, the professor makes a wave-like motion inside you and suddenly there's a weird type of pressure building inside you, making your eyes shoot wide open again.
"ah! fuck- wait!" your broken whines are like music to his ears. "gonna- gonna make a mess!"
you paw at his head in a weak attempt of making him back away but to no avail, if anything he presses himself even closer - his fingers are so deep that they're touching places you didn't even know about and his lips are so soft and his tongue so warm and skilled and the band in your tummy gets tighter and tighter with every passing second.
Bucky takes his mouth off of you for only a fraction of a second. "make a mess then, doll, c'mon."
your glassy eyes meet his dark, lust-filled green ones and the determination pooling in them is the last push you need to finally unravel. your back arches off the chair and you can't hold back the loud moan that forces its way out from the depths of your lungs.
Buckyâs shirt gets completely soaked when you squirt all over him but he doesn't stop. the liquid seeps through the flimsy material and he can feel it on his skin, and fuck, is it hot.
a tear runs over the apple of your cheek and Bucky itches to kiss it away. your lip wobbles as you writhe in utter bliss, mind all hazy from the overstimulation.
as the wave of pleasure flows through you, the exhaustion finally settles in, making you drop your hand from his hair.
but before it can go any further, Bucky takes it into his. with his arm still under your thigh, he just presses it into your side and just keeps it there.
he helps you ride out your orgasm and the thought of not stopping, of going further, floods his brain - he wants to make you do that again, he wants you to make an even bigger mess but the clock on the wall behind you is clicking awfully close to his next class and he can't put either of you at any more risk.
hesitantly, he pulls his fingers out of you and tears his eyes from you to look at your abused hole. he groans at the sight of it and then he's already leaning forward to get one final taste. swallowing a whimper, you do your utmost best to stay still and to let him have his little reward.
he pushes himself off the ground, grinning from ear-to-ear with pride blooming in his chest as he looks at your disheveled form. biting your lip, you reach for him but are barely able to ghost your fingers over his bulge when he's stopping you.
"no, but...?"
Buckyâs lips smash against yours in a sloppy, haste kiss. and then he's pulling away again.
"Y'gonna suck me off while i give class, hm?" he teases while brushing some damp stray hairs from your forehead.
"i would."
Buckyâs heart stutters - no, it fucking stops working for a few good seconds. he stares at you with his lips parted and you get to watch in real time how the tips of his ears grow red again.
"don't- don't fuckin' say that." he grumbles at you, averting his gaze. "shit."
you laugh at his reaction but don't let him go away too far, tugging on his belt loops to bring him back. "yours or mine, professor?"
"mine, hm? i'll make ya something to eat."
cocking a brow you tease him a bit more, unable to let any of the opportunities go to waste. "like real food or...?"
he gives you a real professor-like look and you boop his nose. he lets you do as you wish but then he's wrapping his fingers around your wrist. "real food."
"okay."
"yeah?"
"yeah."
there's a moment of silence between you. the most comfortable kind. neither of you look away from each other's eyes, smitten and a bit giddy. excited.
"go change your shirt now, mister."
you poke a finger at his chest and almost cringe at the big wet stain you've given him. "wait, do you just have a change of clothes here with you?"
"no."
you cock a brow. "no?"
"Tony- i mean, mr. Stark, will bring me something."
"what the hell will you even tell him?"
"spilled my water." Buckyâs voice is calm as ever, deep and raspy, and all you want to do now after he's been so good to you, is to cuddle with him. "don't worry about it, doll, yeah?*
with a nod and a quiet hum, you comply. he leans to give you another kiss and an ass squeeze and then he's bidding you goodbye with a smug grin as you straighten out your clothes and collect your belongings before making your way out of his office.
you give him one last wave and disappear into the hallway, leaving Bucky standing there with a raging boner and a squirt-stained shirt.
he is not complaining.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fluff#blurb#smut#bucky barnes x female!reader#bucky barnes smut#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x reader#marvel#marvel smut
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Desperate | Bucky Barnes x Reader
Hello hello hello! Iâve got some good, old-fashioned angst here for ya.
Word Count: 8.4k
Warnings: hella angst. Touch starved Bucky and reader. Some slight NSFW vibes, but nothing graphic.
Bucky didnât seem to notice when you told him you had to step away for a moment. He remained focused on his clean up duties in the kitchen; he didnât raise his head or look your way. In fact, he didnât seem to be noticing you much at all, lately. But as you eyed your ensemble in the full-length mirror in your bedroom, you knew youâd win back his attention.
This was his absolute favorite lingerie of yours. The set that made him so feral, drove him so insane with lust, that heâd broken the headboard last time you wore it. After that, the two of you agreed youâd save it for special occasions only; otherwise, the apartment you shared would need to be entirely refurnished. And though tonight was just a normal, run of the mill Friday night, you needed to pull out the big guns. Â
The black leather bustier- the one that made Bucky destroy furniture- hugged your figure perfectly. Itâs plunging V-neck ended just above your navel. And the lacy details perfectly mirrored the cheeky black underwear Bucky gifted you last Valentineâs Day. A matching garter belt was the piece de resistance, and it held in place the thigh high stockings that drove Bucky wild.Â
You gave yourself one final look before slipping on a pair of black stilettos and stalking out of the room. This was it- the perfect formula for recapturing Buckyâs gaze.Â
Heâd been distant lately. Almost cold. He hadnât touched you- in even the most innocent sense- in nineteen days. It had been even longer since you were last able to steal a kiss. And the two of you hadnât had sex in three weeks, which was unheard of.
Usually, Bucky gave his physical affections freely. He loved touching you, kissing you, holding you. He wanted to play with your hair, hold your hand, kiss your forehead- anything- as long as it meant he got to touch you. To feel you. When he had a rough day, your arms provided him with safety and comfort. And when a mission stole you from his side, your lips welcomed him home. He poured his love for you into every touch, leaving his fingerprints all over your soul.
To him, any moment spent without your skin pressed against his was a moment wasted.Â
And your sex life was mind-blowing, to say the least. Buckyâs stamina and eagerness to please you left you breathless and seeing stars almost every night of the week. After a few rounds with him, you found yourself unable to speak, unable to think. The only thing that had the power to permeate your hazy, lust-filled mind was him. Your hunger, your need for him could never be sated, and fucking him only made you want him more. But he was more than happy to give himself over to you. He could pull two or seven orgasms from you before you even knew what hit you. And that was just his warmup.Â
But the last three weeks had been completely void of any debauchery. Bucky didnât slip into your shower or slide his hand up your skirt. He didnât even grab your ass when you walked by wearing leggings. It was a startling difference that filled the apartment with a biting, bitter cold, chilling you to the bone. But Bucky said- he swore- he was fine. That he was just tired. Or stressed. Or busy with work. And while you knew his work-life was intense, it never before stopped him from jumping at the chance to make you scream.Â
And it wasnât just the lack of erotic touches that gnawed at you. It was the loss of all physical affections. He didnât reach for your hand in the store. Didnât pull you into his chest at night. Didnât kiss you goodbye in the morning. It left you agonized. Miserable. Empty.Â
Every day, you wondered what couldâve possibly caused Bucky to pull away. What could make him withdraw from you so suddenly. Worry ate away at you, slowly devouring you whole. He seemed to work late almost every night these past few weeks. And when he was home, your attempts to talk to him about the issue went nowhere.Â
You thought heâd gotten past his urge to hide his troubles from you. It took time, but he learned to be honest. To communicate. And when you were finally confident that heâd stopped hiding his struggles, you learned to stop reading into his every mannerism. His every muscle twitch. His every vocal change. If he said he was okay, he was okay. And after working together- he trusted you to listen, and you trusted him to tell you the truth.
And over the last few weeks, he did, indeed, say that he was okay. That there was nothing lurking beneath his surface. And so, you did as he asked, and you believed him.
But after three weeks of nothing- no roaming hands, no bite marks, no early morning quickies- you were hungry for him. Aching for him. You feared that your bottled-up lust would actually drive you crazy. And so, you decided reach for your secret weapon.Â
You found Bucky right where youâd left him: leaning over the kitchen sink, taking care of the dishes from dinner.Â
You kept your tone light, innocent, casual. âHey, Buck.â
âHey, baby.â He didnât look up.Â
âUm, do you think you could help me with something real quick, Sergeant?â Sergeant. It was devious. Wicked, really. The sound of his title coming out of your mouth always got his heart racing, always made the blood drain from his brain and travel elsewhere.
But he didnât fall for it.
âYeah, sweetheart. Just give me one second, Iâm-â Finally, he looked up.
His words died in throat, his mind went blank. The pan heâd been scrubbing fell into the sink with a loud crash. Want filled his eyes. He couldâve sworn his mouth started watering.Â
âWhat do you think, Sarge? You wanna come over here and,â you ran a few fingers up your thigh, âhelp me out?âÂ
You braced yourself, knowing Bucky was about to pounce. You figured you had less than five seconds before he swept you off your feet and hoisted up over his shoulder. Heâd fireman-carried you to bed that way more times than you could count, and you knew this would be one of those nights.Â
But five seconds became ten. And then fifteen. And then twenty. And all heâd done was stare at you.Â
âBuck?â you took a few steps in his direction. âI thought we could have some dessert.â
He struggled to form coherent thoughts or piece sentences together. âUm, well, I was-â he gestured to the mess in the sink, âI was gonna do the dishes.â
âI know, baby,â you placed a light hand on his shoulder. âBut I think you can finish them after- I mean, later.â
Bucky shouldâve jumped at the opportunity. He shouldâve taken you apart right there on the kitchen counter. But he didnât. He didnât even touch you.Â
He cleared his throat, âIâm- Iâm just gonna do âem now.â
Without a word, you turned on your stiletto and retreated to the bedroom.Â
Humiliation flared in your chest. Tears gathered in your eyes. And your heartbeat pounded in your ears, drowning out the rest of the world. Suddenly, you felt stupid. Foolish. Part of you wondered if it was possible to die from embarrassment.Â
Bucky had every right to refuse your advances- that wasnât the issue. It was his complete and utter lack of affection for you. If he didnât want to have sex with you ever again, youâd (probably) survive. But the harsh and sudden halt of any and all physical affection was eating you alive.
You kicked off your heels the moment you entered the bedroom and found yourself stomping toward the bathroom. You needed to get away. To hide. To protect yourself from any further mortification. The bathroom door slammed shut behind you, and you leaned against the cool wood, hoping to find some peace. But the bathroom mirror only doubled your shame. And as you stared at yourself, clad in what you thought to be Buckyâs favorite lingerie, your breathing hitched in your chest.Â
This whole venture was so idiotic. So thoroughly and excruciatingly mortifying. It felt like the final nail in the coffin. If Bucky didnât want you in your best lingerie, he must not want you at all.
The hoodie youâd slipped out of only minutes ago sat crumpled in a pile on the counter, and eagerly you shimmied into it. Anything to cover up your failed attempt at seduction.Â
What was wrong with Bucky? Was he not interested in you anymore? Did he find you unattractive? If he wasnât seeking sex with you, he had to be getting it from someone else, didnât he? Who was it? Who-
A gentle knock yanked you out of your spiral.
âSweetheartâŚâ Bucky called through the door. He tried the handle and found it locked. âCan you come out, baby? Please?â
No part of you wanted to leave the safety of the bathroom. Something deep within you feared that this would be it- the tipping point, the moment of truth. If you did as Bucky asked and ventured out of the bathroom, there was a chance that Bucky would drop some major, soul-crushing truth on you.Â
Maybe heâd spent the last three weeks trying to figure out how to break up with you, and this was his perfect opportunity. Maybe heâd break your heart and ruin your life the second you opened the bathroom door. If you could just stay in here- forever- maybe he wouldnât dump you. Maybe you could delay your heartbreak and extend whatever feelings he once had for you, just for a little while.
But if he didnât want you anymore, what was the point of prolonging the inevitable?Â
With a huff, you dabbed at your eyes with your sleeve and opened the door.
There stood Bucky, looking hopeless. Lost. Miserable. He was propped against the door frame with slumped shoulders and a downtrodden expression- but perked up a bit when you opened the door. A sad smile stretched across his face, and he stood up straight, but his frown returned as you brushed right past him.Â
âBaby, can we please talk about this?â He almost begged.Â
There was a heavy desperation in his voice. Panic blazed through his chest. Something told him he might be losing you.
âIâve been trying to talk to you!â You removed your garter belt and slipped off one of your stockings. âIâve been trying to talk to you about this for weeks! And you just keep saying youâre 'fine'. Or that youâre tired. Or that thereâs 'nothing to talk about'- when there clearly is!â
Normally, Bucky could always make you feel better with a hug. Anytime the two of you got into a fight, a long, warm embrace helped ease both of you into open, honest communication. But Bucky didn't reach for you. He opted to keep his distance. To allow you some space.
But space was the last thing you wanted.Â
âLook, if thereâs something going on and youâre not interested in having sex, thatâs fine,â you told him. âI get it. It happens sometimes. But the-â you yanked your other thigh high off and tossed it to the side. âThe total embargo on physical touch is really fucking with my head.â
Your pulse pounded in your ears, your hands shook with wrath. âBuck, youâre never home anymore- youâre always âworking lateâ.â You let out a sharp exhale, âand when you are home, itâs like youâre on another planet. You keep your distance from me- you wonât even sit next to me on the couch.â
All Bucky could do was nod. Everything you said was true; there wasnât a point in arguing.
And as the weight of Buckyâs sudden frigidity finally hit you, your fury was snuffed out. Rage no longer pulsed through your veins with each beat of your heart. Grief took its place. It forced its way into your heart, into your bones. You couldâve sworn you felt fractures spider-webbing their way through your ribs.Â
Tears trickled slowly down your cheeks at first, but a downpour followed soon after. âAre you- are you not attracted to me anymore?â You asked between heaving sobs. âDo you not want me? Did I do something?â
âSweetheart, I-â
âIs thereâŚâ your voice cracked. Saying it was too much; part of you feared that vocalizing your fear would make it come true. As though another woman would materialize simply because you asked whether she existed. âIs there someone else?â
The question sucked all of the oxygen out of the room. Bucky stared at you with wide eyes, his mouth slightly agape. You did your best to get a handle on your shaky breaths and pained wails; if Bucky was about to reveal an affair, you didnât want to seem so broken. So hopeless. So pathetic. You didnât want to give him any ammo to take back to his side piece. Any dramatic tales that would make her howl with laughter.
But he didnât admit to having a mistress. He, instead, let loose a few tears himself. Knowing that heâd made you question his loyalties, that youâd actually feared heâd been unfaithful, made him want to die. Â
âOh my god,â His voice wavered under the hefty weight of his pain,âBaby-âÂ
âIs there someone better?â
âNo.â He couldnât fathom the suggestion that there was someone- anyone- out there better than you. âThere is no one better.â
He couldnât take it anymore, he had to be near you. In three quick strides, he arrived in your vicinity. But he remained just out of your reach. Everything in him begged - screamed- to hold you close. To kiss you. To take your hand, at the very least. His fingers twitched with the need to touch you. But he refrained.Â
 âThereâs no one else- of course, thereâs not. There will never be anyone else. I still want you, I will always want you. I love you.âÂ
The overwhelming urge to remove himself from your space barked at him. It screamed and hollered from the deep recesses of his mind. And he knew he should listen. But he couldnât- not when you were falling apart in front of him. Not when heâd made you feel unwanted, unattractive, and unloved.
âYou didnât do anything, doll,â he hated himself for doing this to you. For making you doubt his love. For reducing you to a sobbing, heaving shell of yourself. âIâm still attracted to you- Iâm so attracted to you. Youâre the most gorgeous woman Iâve ever seen.â
His reassurances helped assuage some of the fear, some of the worry. But only a small portion. Because even though heâd refuted all of your hypotheses and accusations, he still hadnât given you a reason. And he still hadnât touched you.Â
âThen whatâs-â you forced yourself to take a moment to think. To breathe. To get your head on straight. âWhatâs the problem? Whatâs going on with you?â
Bucky didnât answer. He didnât make eye contact. He simply stared at the area rug, tracing its border with his eyes. And though he knew you needed his touch, needed his affection, he couldnât bring himself to do it. Couldnât bring himself to slip his hand into yours or cradle your face in his hands.Â
His silence sliced through you and tore you open. You couldâve sworn you were bleeding out.Â
âBuck, I miss you-â It was needy. Ugly. But you didnât care. âPlease, just be honest with me. Iâm worried about you. And this isnât normal for us, so-â
His words came out so low, so hushed, that you struggled to hear him. âI just havenât been able to shake what happened last time.â
He clenched his jaw and squeezed his eyes shut. He gave a small shake of his head. His hands balled into tight fists. Heâd thought about what happened over and over and over again. He thought about it every day for the last three weeks. Relived the panic, the fear. And every night when he tried to fall asleep, the scene played out on an endless loop inside his mind. Horrifying nightmares plagued him each time he closed his eyes. He woke up shaking, covered in a cold sweat. There was no escaping it.
---Three weeks ago---
Things started around 8pm. It was all innocent enough, with Bucky spooning you as the two of you rewatched New Girl. But Bucky let his hands roam, as he so often did. And after only one episode, his hand had snaked up your shirt. His warm palm rested against your breast as his fingers swept over your skin. He teased your nipple once, twice. It was all the motivation you needed.
At his prompting, you pushed your body back against his, allowing your ass to grind against him. A low, animalistic moan vibrated deep within his chest. All bets were off after that.Â
Before you could even blink, Bucky had you in his arms. He palmed your ass and positioned your legs around his waist as he set off down the hall toward the bedroom. His lips hungrily devoured yours. Your hands tangled in his hair, tugging on the strands every now and again. He let more depraved sounds loose and you happily swallowed them all.Â
Time lost all meaning after Bucky laid you out on the bed. The world outside of your bedroom ceased to exist- only Bucky remained. The two of you were a frantic, needy tangle of pounding hearts and sweat-slick skin. Teeth marks adorned his chest. Scratches adorned his back and shoulders. And Bucky devoted all of his time, all of his energy, all of him to pleasing you.
He took his time, slowly working you over as though it were his job. He loved teasing you, love watching you squirm. And when he had you absolutely begging, he gave you exactly what you wanted. In fact, he kept giving it to you- and had no intention to stop.Â
Heâd lost track of time. Lost count of how many times he made you come. All he knew was that double digits had been reached- and that was a long time ago. Was it an hour ago? Or three? He wasnât sure. All he knew was that he had his best girl falling apart at the seams. Over and over and over again.Â
He made sure to check in with you after every bout of world-shattering ecstasy, and you always gave him the green light. As time passed, your sentences turned into solitary words, which devolved into incoherent, needy sounds. But you always gave him a fervent nod, ensuring that you absolutely wanted- needed- him to continue.Â
Even as sweat dampened the hair around your face, even as your lips grew swollen- you wanted more. More Bucky- there was never enough of him. It didnât matter that heâd carried you to bed hours ago, you were insatiable. If he fucked you for a full twenty-four hours, it still wouldnât have been enough.
At one point, you ended up in his lap, riding him like your life depended on it. He was seated upright on the edge of the bed, his chest pressed to yours. And by the depraved sounds and shaky breaths that fell from your lips, he knew you were close to yet another heart-stopping moment of bliss. His right arm snaked around your back, holding you firmly in place. He forced his vibranium fist down into the mattress; it gave him the extra leverage he needed to fuck into you even deeper. To push you over the edge.Â
With a strangled scream, your orgasm crested over you. Your eyes squeezed shut. Sharp inhales filled your chest. Your mouth hung open. Every muscle in your body went rigid. Tense. Slight tremors rocked you every few moments- it was exactly what Bucky wanted.Â
âOh, thatâs my girl,â praises dripped from his lips like honey.  A debauched moan vibrated out of his chest. âSo good for me, always so good for me, baby.â
He watched as your eyes rolled back in your head. And with a final exhale, your limp body slumped forward, your face landing against Buckyâs chest. He put his movements on pause and allowed you to recover. To catch your breath. To rest.
He smoothed his cold, metallic hand up and down your spine. âYou doing okay, sweetheart? You tired?â He dotted a kiss to your hair, âWe can call it a night.â
You didnât say a word.
âBaby,â he scratched gently at your shoulder blade. âCan you answer me?âÂ
But you remained silent.
Concern coursed through his veins. He feared heâd gone too far. That heâd pushed you past your limits. And if you were upset, he needed to do whatever he could to help you through. As gently as he could, he used both of his hands to lift your head from his chest.Â
What he found sent a wave of chills rushing over his skin.Â
You were out cold. Completely unconscious.Â
Bucky found himself operating on autopilot. He removed you from his lap and laid you flat on the bed. His fingers searched your neck for a pulse. Your name fell from his lips in a horrified, desperate prayer.Â
A breakdown loomed on the horizon, darkening everything around him. His hands shook, his chest tightened. The copper-penny taste of blood exploded across his tongue as he sunk his teeth into his cheek. But he couldnât fall apart- not when your life depended on it.Â
And massive sigh of relief left his chest when he felt your strong, steady pulse beating beneath his fingertips.Â
And once he knew that you were, indeed, alive, he allowed himself to fall apart- but only for a moment. Tears dripped down his face and splashed against your chest as he loomed over you. He breathlessly told you he was sorry. That he loved you. That he didnât mean to hurt you.Â
But that was all he permitted. You still needed him, even if you werenât in dire straits. And so, he forced his emotion behind a wall and pressed on.Â
No part of him wanted to leave your side, but it was a necessary evil. He sped through the apartment and into the kitchen, digging in the freezer for ice packs. And when he found the two you required, he snagged a couple dish towels from the drawer by the sink and raced back to the bedroom.Â
âHey, Iâm- Iâm back, baby,â he said to your unconscious body. âIâm so sorry, sweetheart. I just had to get-â he held up the icepacks. Even if you couldnât hear him, he wanted you to know that heâd never- under any circumstances- abandon you when you needed him.Â
He wrapped each ice pack in a towel and tucked one behind your neck while the other rested on your chest. And then, all he could do was wait.Â
He hovered over you, watching for any signs of waking, any signs of distress. His hands smoothed over your hair and drifted across your cheek. His fingers monitored your pulse every few seconds. His lips left kisses against your forehead. And though he knew that your life wasnât in danger, it didnât quell the shaking in his hands. Didnât stop the waves of nausea cresting over him.Â
And he didnât take a full inhale until your eyelids finally began to flutter open.Â
He watched closely as you finally blinked your way back into consciousness. Everything was kind of fuzzy, a bit hazy around the edges. A quiet ringing filled your ears. A slight tremor rendered your hands unsteady. And the world around you seemed to tilt and twist without warning.
But Bucky was right there, anchoring you to the earth. He let a gentle hand rest against your cheek.Â
âHi, baby,â his voice was soft, sweet, comforting.
But you couldnât respond even if you wanted to, as your synapses refused to get their shit together. Words collided and melted together, dripping into amorphous puddles inside your mind. You swore someone had stuffed your head full of cotton. Everything felt far away; the entire world was muffled somehow, as though you were trapped behind fifty feet of glass.
Concern bled into Buckyâs words, âSweetheart, are you alright?âÂ
And it wasnât easy, but you finally remembered how to think. How to speak. You chipped away at the thick pane of glass separating you from Bucky, and finally answered.Â
ââm okayâŚâ You reached for Buckyâs face and allowed your fingers to gently trace down his jawline. His stubble pricked at your skin. His warm breath fanned your face.Â
And without warning, tears slipped from your eyes. Rivulets coursed down the sides of your face and dripped into your hair. It was a sudden, jarring shift that sent Buckyâs heart leaping into his throat.Â
âOh, no- oh, sweetheart,â he gently cradled your face in his hands. âBaby, youâre okay- everythingâs okay. Youâre fine. Youâre safe.âÂ
He did everything in his power to bring you some sense of peace, but the tears refused to stop. And he found himself desperately, hopelessly, trying to comfort you. He tripped over himself again and again, apologizing endlessly. And when that didnât work, he changed tactics. He spelled out what happened for you in clear, easy to understand terms, ridding you of the dreaded unknown. He promised that you were only out for a minute or two. That you were perfectly safe. Â
He left gentle touches against your skin and dotted kisses to your cheeks and hairline- just like you always did for him when he fell to pieces. And if it worked for him, he hoped it might work for you.
He wasnât sure what brought an end to your waterworks- his reassurances or his touch- but he didnât care. All that mattered was that youâd finally stopped crying. That your breathing was returning to normal. The sharp pain radiating through his chest dulled a little bit as he dried your last few tears. Finally, your hands stopped trembling. And your heartrate slowly regressed to its mean. He thanked a startling number of deities that you were alive and seemed to be improving.
He pressed a kiss to your forehead, âHow do you feel, baby? Is there anything I can do for you?â
âUmâŚâ you dried your damp lashes on the backs of your hands. âIâm cold.â
âShit- sorry,â Bucky snatched your icepacks from their respective positions and threw them to the floor.Â
Guilt bloomed in his chest; he shouldâve removed the ice the second you woke up. Shouldâve covered you with a blanket. Shouldâve used his body to keep yours warm. Shouldâve-Â
He didnât have time to spiral into guilt and shame and âshould havesâ.Â
He leaned over the side of the bed and located his discarded hoodie, the one youâd yanked over his head only a few hours ago in your insatiable pursuit of his body.
âHey, here you go, doll,â he gently helped you wriggle into the soft fabric and covered you with the bedspread. And once he was confident that you were comfortable, he slid under the blanket with you and vowed to give you all of his body heat.Â
The second he laid down next to you, you rolled onto your side and buried your face in his chest. He curled his body protectively around yours; he wasnât going to let anything else happen to you tonight. Or ever. His hand swept up and down the length of your spine on a seemingly endless loop. He whispered âI love yousâ and âIâm sorrysâ until he thought he might go hoarse.
And when your world fell properly into place and you finally felt like yourself again, you plucked your head from his chest.
âHi,â you reached upward and let your fingers slowly drift across his cheek bones. The slope of his nose. His lips.
âHi, baby.â He couldnât fight the smile that pulled at his features. This was the version of you he knew. The version that, only a few minutes ago, hungrily egged him on in his pursuit of your pleasure. âYou doing okay?â
You gave him a confident nod, âYeah, Iâm okay now.â Your lips drifted across his, âSorry, it kinda took me a minute to come back to myself, you know?â
âThatâs okay, doll,â he let he tips of his fingers ghost over your spine. âDonât apologize.â
âAnd I really didnât mean for there to be any,â you gave Bucky some unenthusiastic jazz hands, âany theatrics tonight. Sorry about the drama.â
Bucky gave a shake of his head, âNo, baby, itâs okay. IâmâŚâ he traced your features with his cold, gentle fingers. âIâm glad youâre alright.â
âYeah, Iâm totally fine,â you shrugged. âIt was weird though, right? This has never happened to me before- Iâve never passed out during sex.â You gazed at him with a spark of lust in your eyes, âYou know, Iâm actually impressed. You made me come so many times that I actually blacked out. None of my ex-boyfriends can say that.â
You let out a quiet laugh that Bucky didnât return. He didnât find it funny- he didnât find any of this funny. But he put on a smile for your benefit.
âOh, and sorry about all the crying,â you sighed. âI donât know what that was about.â
âThatâs alright- it happens,â he shrugged. âYou went from really high highs and then fell to some pretty low lows. Itâs just got to do with the chemicals in your brain, nothing to apologize for.â He trailed kisses across your forehead and down your nose, âPlus, you were probably scared. Or freaked out, at least.â
The guilt sunk its teeth into every fiber of Buckyâs being. And as you nestled closer to him, a tidal wave of revulsion nearly dragged him from the bed. He shouldâve known better. Shouldâve exercised better judgment. You werenât like him; you didnât have the enhanced energy and stamina to match his. He shouldnât have pushed you to the edge like that. Shouldnât have carried you past your limits.Â
Normally, heâd do anything to be near you. He wanted-Â needed- to touch you as much as possible. And if he couldnât touch you, he at least had to be close to you. But the voice in his head screamed at him, telling him to vacate your vicinity. And the overwhelming, urgent need to put some space between his body and yours yanked him out of bed.Â
âBaby, Iâm gonna go get you some water, okay? And a snack,â he headed for the door, âyou stay there, Iâll be right back.â
It was the perfect excuse. He really did need to provide you with sustenance and hydration after your black out- but a trip to the kitchen also provided him with a reason to remove himself from your side. He counted it as a win-win.
And from that moment on, he did his best- his very best- to keep his hands off of you. To stay as far away as possible. To ensure that you would be safe.Â
He couldnât risk your well-being, not again.
------
It wasnât quite what you expected him to say. And though it was a far better reason than the affair you concocted for him during your downward spiral, it still didnât make much sense.Â
âLast time?âÂ
What exactly happened last time? You wracked your brain, searching your memories for some terrible event- but you came up empty. And just as you were about to call bullshit on Buckyâs reasoning, you stumbled upon the memory of your innocuous, minute-long black out.Â
âOh, the thing with me passing out?â Â
Bucky gave a solemn nod. At the thought of it, his face lost all color, all warmth. A sickly shade of gray tainted his skin.
âBuck, I know that was kind of weird and not at all ideal, but it was fine,â you shrugged, âIt wasnât a big deal.â
You took a cautious step toward him, and much to your dismay, he countered with a step back.Â
âIf anything, it was a fluke.â Again, you took a step in his direction. And again, he backed away.Â
Bucky feared what might happen when you backed him into a corner, when his spine hit the wall. He knew heâd have to slip from your grasp and vacate the room. That heâd have to find an escape. But he knew it would hurt you. After weeks of no warmth, no touching, no physical intimacy, you were barely hanging on by a thread. And if he ran from the room, it would surely cause that thread to snap. But wasnât that better than the snapping of your neck? Or your spine? Wasnât it better for you to hurt emotionally, rather than physically?
âBuck, itâs never happened before, and I highly doubt it will ever happen again,â you said. âI didnât sleep well the night before, and I had a long day leading up to that. I didnât eat breakfast or lunch, I was dehydrated, and Iâd been sick the week prior. It was a perfect storm of circumstances that made me pass out. Not you.âÂ
You intertwined your fingers, locking them together in search of any kind of touch. Any physical reassurance. âSeriously, Buck, that will never happen again. I promise.â
Bucky knew of one surefire way to ensure it would never, ever happen again. All he had to do was keep his distance. If he could refrain from touching you, if he could keep his hands to himself, youâd be safe.
But youâd be miserable- he knew you would. And as he gave you a long once-over, a sharp pain shot through him like lightning. Tear tracks trailed down your cheeks. Your eyes were red and puffy. Dark circles stained your under eyes- you hadnât been sleeping, had you? No, youâd been staying up all night, worrying about Bucky. About the state of your relationship.Â
And when he noticed the way youâd tangled your hands together, the way your right thumb stroked against the back of your left hand, he couldâve sworn heâd been stabbed through the chest. You were so desperate for affection, so robbed of touch, that you were trying- and failing- to self-soothe.Â
âI know it was scary for you,â he finally said. âAnd I know youâre the one who passed out, so Iâm not trying to make this about me- I swear. But it wasâŚâ He, too, found himself absentmindedly searching for physical comforts. He slowly raked a hand through his hair a few times, but it didnât have the same effect; only your hands could bring him peace. âIt was scary for me, too.â
A pang of anxiety rocketed through you. How could you have been so selfish? So heartless toward Buckyâs plight? Of course, heâd been scared. Of course, the events of that night affected him, too. And you knew that if the situation were reversed, you wouldâve been paralyzed with fear. With worry.Â
Youâd just gotten so swept up, so overwhelmed by the loss of his hands. His lips. His arms. It darkened your periphery and gave you tunnel-vision. All you could see- all you could feel- was the cold. The emptiness. The fear of losing him.
âShit, baby, Iâm-â you reached for Bucky but recoiled. âIâm so sorry. You just- you said you were fine. Every time I asked, you swore everything was okay. So I thought-â
âI knowâŚâ Bucky chewed on the inside of his cheek. He let his head droop, allowed his gaze to drop to the floor. And he stayed that way. For a while.
His hands dug deep into his pockets and his shoulders fell forward ever so slightly. He found himself awash in regret. Longing. Loneliness. He knew it was his fault; heâd done this to himself. Heâd chosen to isolate, to pull away. But it was the safest option for you, wasnât it? And your safety came before anything and everything else- full stop.Â
âIt took me a long time,â he finally said, âit took me a long time to be able to touch you. I couldnât bring myself to do it forâŚâ He silently thought back on that time, adding up the days where he kept his hands to himself- but they were far too numerous. âFor a while. Do you remember that?â
You nodded. âYeah, but I- I guess I always figured it was just some old-fashioned, chivalrous, nineteen-forties type of thingâŚâ
âWell, that was,â a small smile flickered across his face, âthat was part of it. But the real reason is that I was too scared. To touch you, I mean.â His smile disappeared. His features suddenly fell. His eyes darkened. âSometimes, I donât know my own strength, you know? And I was too- I was so afraid that Iâd hurt you, baby.âÂ
âOhâŚâ You hadnât thought of it that way.Â
âI had to kind of overcome that fear, and it took time. I think it took me over a month just to hold your hand- and even then, it was only for a second.â
Buckyâs words had an endless darkness to them- a darkness you were well acquainted with by now. When he was really down, when he was going through a particularly miserable time, his voice took on the pitch-black tone of the abyss. And when he found himself drowning in the obsidian sea, it was your hands that guided him out. Youâd hold him close to your body, wrapping him in the safety of your embrace- and slowly, heâd wade out of his agony.Â
But this time was different.Â
No matter desperately you longed to touch him, to comfort him, to save him- you couldnât. He didnât want your hands, your body anywhere near him. Of course, he did want you close- he just wouldnât allow it.Â
âBut you know Iâve never been afraid of you, right?â Your arm twitched with want. Almost on autopilot, your hand tried to reach out and touch him, but you forbade it. âIâve never thought that youâd hurt me-â
âI know.â He couldnât stop himself from smiling. You never saw him as a monster or a threat- you never saw him the way he saw himself. âBut when we first started dating, I was having these nightmares. I actually had them for the first year of our relationship- at the leastâŚâ
Your heart sank. He had enough nightmares as it was; and to know that youâd somehow delivered him a fresh crop of terror made you nauseous.
âEvery night when I went to sleep, Iâd have these awful dreamsâŚâ His eyes took on a hollow quality as he hurdled backward and fell into his memories. âThey always started out okay- they seemed like normal dreams. In some of them, we were hugging. In others, we were having sex. And everything was fine. But then, youâd start-â He dragged a few fingers across his bottom lip and down his chin, âyouâd start bleeding out of your mouth. Your eyes would roll back in your head. And youâd collapse. Youâd die in my arms. Every time.â
A small gasp filled your lungs, âBuckâŚâ It was your most basic, most intrinsic instinct to comfort Bucky with soft, gentle touches. Your hands were his homing signal, and when he got lost in the dark labyrinth of his past, you automatically guided him to safety. You couldnât remember a time when youâd ever caged that reflex- until now. He stood in front of you, completely despondent, and you couldnât do a damn thing to help him.
âAnd the other night- it was exactly like one of my nightmares. You went completely limp, baby, and your eyes rolled back in your head. You were unresponsive. I was so scared, IâŚâ He almost didnât want to say the words. Didnât want to tempt the universe by voicing his greatest fear. âI thought I killed you. I thought Iâd held you too tight and crushed your spine, or something. I had to-â He cleared his throat, forcing the oncoming emotion away, âI actually had to feel for a pulse to make sure you were still alive.â
âBaby, I- I didnât know that.â Heâd conveniently left that out when he walked you through what happened. Heâd sidestepped his horror and his trauma and put you first, as he always did. âBut youâd never hurt me- you couldnât.â
He shrugged. âMaybe not on purpose. But I thought Iâd gone too far in the heat of the moment, andâŚâ He couldnât finish his sentence. âEven though you didnât pass out because of me, Iâm still- I canât get over it. I canât stop thinking about it. It was like one of my nightmares had come to life- it hit way too close to home.â He pressed his palms to his eyes for a moment and forced himself to catch his breath. Only when he felt his heartrate return to normal did he speak again. âSo, Iâve been scared- too scared to touch you.â
It shattered you. All Bucky did- all heâd ever wanted to do- was protect you. And though heâd spent the last three weeks aching for his best girl, he didnât dare lay a finger on you- all in the name of your safety. Sure, his execution wasnât the best, but his intentions were pure and kind, as they always were.Â
âBut I know I didnât⌠I didnât handle this the right way. And Iâm sorry- Iâm so sorry I pulled away,â he tripped over himself again and again, desperately begging for your understanding. For your forgiveness. âI know youâre not happy- believe me, Iâm not happy either. Iâve been miserable this whole time- I miss you so much, sweetheart. And I never wanted to hurt you like this. I just didnâtâŚâ He gave a small shake of his head, âI didnât want to hurt you physically, either. And I didnât know what to do. So, I figured that keeping my hands off of you was safest. But I didnât mean to upset you.â
All the work heâd done, all the effort heâd put into fixing his self-image had crumbled in one fell swoop- all because you didnât have the wherewithal to eat breakfast and stay hydrated three weeks ago. Buckyâs normally upright posture was sloped, his shoulders curved forward. He had the same hollow look in his eye that he had when youâd first met him. And now that heâd spent more than five minutes with you, you noticed all of the fingernails on his right hand were bitten down to the quick.
âShit. Buck, Iâm- Iâm so sorry, baby.â You dried your cheeks on the sleeve of your hoodie. âI fucked upâŚâ
âNo, no. This is all on me- I fucked up. I basically abandoned you.â His voice took on a harsh, sharp edge he only ever reserved for use against himself. You knew the inside of his head was a horror scene, full of admonishing comments and self-flagellation. You wished you could rescue him from his own mind.Â
But his tone softened when he spoke about you, âYou didnât do anything wrong, sweetheart-â
âBuck, I accused you of cheating,â you nearly scoffed. It was ridiculous. Completely absurd. That you believed for even a moment that Bucky could actually have a mistress proved just how out of your mind you were. But grief, you figured, was capable of making people believe crazy things. âThat was absolutely wrong of me. And I didnât even-â you shook your head. âI didnât even think that the other night might have affected you-â
âYou were upset, and rightfully so.â He absolved you of any blame, any guilt. âPlus, you were the one who blacked out, not me. My feelings on the subject arenât nearly as important as yours.â
âBut you witnessed it. And it scared you. A lot.â You hated knowing that heâd been too horrified, too paralyzed with fear to even hold your hand. And the fact that heâd dealt with all of it alone was enough to force you to your knees. âI shouldâve known better- I shouldâve known you were upset. Iâm so sorry, Buck. This was so unfair to you, I-â
He held up a hand, halting your words. âYou canât read my mind, sweetheart. And I couldâve communicated better.â He flashed you a sad smile, âThatâs something I said Iâd work on- communication. And Iâm getting better at it, but Iâm not perfect yet.â
âIâm not either, so⌠I guess we both have some stuff to work on. I probably shouldnât go around alleging that you had an affair out of the blue.â You crossed your arms over your chest, hugging them tight to your body. Even if Bucky wasnât sleeping with someone else, he still hadnât allowed himself to touch you. And you were no match for the bone-chilling cold that had settled into the apartment.
âUm, okay, you know what? We can actually- letâs completely forget I said anything about this. Just put it out of your mind, alright?â This time, it was you who retreated. You who stepped away.Â
âSweetheart, wait-â Bucky adopted your role as the pursuer. He took a few strides in your direction, anxious to close the gap between you. He felt you slipping through his fingers, like he may never regain what the two of you used to have.Â
âNo, Buck, itâs okay. Weâre okay. I just want you to do whatever works for you. I donât want you to be hurting all the time, I donât want you to be scared.â Again and again, you stroked your thumbs over your upper arms, but it didnât bring you a hint of comfort. âAnd if that- if that means you can never touch me again, Iâll understand-â
âThatâs not what I want- thatâs absolutely not what I want,â Buckyâs eyes were wide. Almost crazed. It was as though the thought of never touching you again threatened to push him to the brink of madness. âI just need to⌠I need to take it slow. I have to start back at square one, like I did when I first met you. Is that okay? Can you- â
âWhatever you need, Iâm on board.â It was an automatic, instinctual response. Your voice was steady and even, free from any breaks or signs of uncertainty. Youâd do anything for him, anything to ease his mind. âWe can move as slowly as you need- thereâs no rush.â
âBut are you⌠are you sure?â His words dripped with anxiety, with fear. âCause I can- I can try to get over it. I donât want you to be miserable, doll. I can-â
âBuck, itâs okay.â
âBaby, I feel like I mightâŚâ He nearly doubled over, âIâm afraid Iâm gonna lose you over this.â
âYou wonât- I promise, you wonât.â Another surge of need coursed through you, begging you to wrap Bucky in an embrace, but you kept your hands to yourself. Youâd never push him, would never dream of making him uncomfortable. âYou will never lose me. Iâm here for you, Iâm not going anywhere. I donât care how long it takes.â
And you meant it. Now that Bucky let you in on his secret, you understood that there had to be some distance. Some space. Of course, youâd still miss the physical intimacy. The sleepy mornings spent with your body draped across his chest. The late nights full of depravity and lust. But with the looming darkness of a possible affair banished, you could wait.
Though, you didnât have to wait long at all.
Because Bucky vanquished space remaining between your body and his. He strode eagerly, anxiously across the room and raised his right hand, desperate to feel you again. But just as his palm grew close to your cheek, he faltered. His brain struggled to reign him in, to put a pause on his possibly dangerous plan. Only millimeters remained between his skin and yours, but he couldnât find it in him to close the final gap.Â
âItâs okay,â you said. âTake your time.â
It was the final push he needed. And finally, he touched you again. His palm lightly ghosted over your cheek, and tears instantly crested over your lash line. The feeling of relief, of home, was almost intoxicating. It was the lightest, softest touch- almost imperceptible. But to you- to Bucky- it was like a fireworks show.Â
And after testing the waters with his feather-light touch, he found himself nearly begging for more.Â
He allowed his palm to actually rest against your face, to cup your cheek the way he always did. And it acted like an instant pain reliever. The excruciating ache in your chest relented, and your muscles slackened as they released their knots. An all-encompassing warmth wrapped around your entire body, finally ridding you of the vicious cold youâd suffered through all these weeks. This was the warmth you knew you couldnât live without, the warmth only Bucky could provide.Â
His knees almost buckled beneath him, but he wouldnât allow it. He wouldnât allow anything to take this moment from either of you. All this time, heâd felt unmoored, adrift, lost in a dark, endless sea. And no matter how hard he fought, he couldnât seem to find his way back to shore. But with his skin pressed against yours, he finally felt steady. Stable. You provided him with a guiding light. An anchor. He felt more like himself than he had in the last three weeks, all because of you.
Your tears dampened Buckyâs skin, but he didnât mind. He brushed them gently away with a light sweep of his thumb.Â
âCan I?â you motioned to the tears trailing down his cheek.
And after a moment of thought, he gave you a nod. Your hand drifted lightly over his skin to mop up his tears, but your touch only brought on more waterworks. He was so starved of your affection that even the lightest touch made him whimper. He let out a soft, grateful sound that knocked the breath from your chest.Â
The two of you remained there a while, soaking in the sensation of the other. Bucky didnât dare to hug you, and kissing you was still off limits. But his palm remained flush with your cheek for as long as you allowed- and you had no urge to ever remove it. Â
You knew there was a long road ahead for him, but you didnât mind. Starting back at square one with him was something you could handle. Something the two of you could handle together.
âItâs kind of a bummer that I didnât get to make good use of yourâŚâ Bucky gestured to your discarded garter belt and thigh-highs, âoutfit.â
You let loose a laugh that vibrated under his palm- the sensation sent a wave of warmth cresting over him.
âItâs alright, Buck. Iâll wear it again, I promise.â You leaned into his touch, greedily searching for more of him. âYou can take as much time as you need, okay? Iâll be here when youâre ready.â
âââââââââââ
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Be Mean To Me
Pairing: Bucky x f!reader
Summary: After a long day at work, you just want to lose all control and have your boyfriend fuck you into oblivionÂ
Warnings: Established relationship, slight angst, fluff, smut, mean!dom!bucky, reader asks for it, they are so in love, rough sex, dom/sub dynamics, oral (male receiving), ball sucking, slapping, spit kink?, degradation, humiliation, name calling (slut, whore, bitch, sugar, good girl), daddy kink, some praise, spanking, pussy slapping (like once), safe word (yellow), vaginal sex, no prep anal, Bucky has a huge dick, choking, aftercare, check-ins, crying during sex, crying after sex, soft!Bucky, no mention of Y/N, no description of reader other than being female
Word Count: 4.9k of mostly smut
A/N: This was very self indulgent. Work has been kicking my ass and I want to be taken care of. Any mistakes are my own. If I missed any warnings please let me know. @bucknastysbabe it's done! I think I should go back to therapy. But hey, smut
You feel your throat tighten as you walk up to the apartment you share with Bucky. It was one of those days that left you beaten down and wanting to curl up under your blankets and cry. You didnât even want to go into work this morning, having to force yourself to get ready. Too many rude customers, incompetent coworkers giving you more work than you get paid to do, everything leaving you overstimulated and wanting your boyfriend.
It left a craving deep down inside of you, a want that you knew only he could quell. You just wanted to shut your brain off, have Bucky take care of you, ruin you, treat you like a whore, break you down, just to put you back together again.
You swallow the lump in your throat and unlock the front door, finding Bucky on the couch watching some random action movie that he claimed to hate. At the sight of him your body naturally relaxes and the urge to crawl onto his lap is too much to bear.
âHey, sugar. Iâve been missing you all day. Youâll never fucking believe the video Sam sent me of Tony trying out his new thrusters! He flew rig- Whatâs wrong?â He perked up at the sound of the door opening, truly missing his girl. Whenever youâre around him his entire day gets better, a lightness filling his chest, but when he sees how run down you are, his heart literally hurts for you. Bucky wants to protect you from everything, from supervillains all the way to spiders in the house.
âLong day, baby. Just wanna be with you.â He opens his arms and you instantly crawl into his lap, eyes burning with tears you refuse to shed. He runs his metal hand up and down your back, pulling you as close to him as possible, while his flesh hand rests on your head, holding you to his neck, letting you breathe him in.
âWhat can I do for you, sugar? Want to talk about it? I can order from your favorite place. Can run you a bath. Whatever you want, sweet girl.âÂ
âPlease, be mean to me, Bucky.â Bucky feels his heart clench in his chest. He wants to keep your heart safe from whatever it is that is plaguing you, but he knows he canât. What he can do is follow your request and make you forget.
âHow mean do you want me, sugar?â Bucky has done this for you a few times. He always asks how you want him to treat you. Itâs in his nature to be sweet to you, fill you with praise, but that's not what you want right now. You want to be degraded and treated like a fucktoy.
âMean.â You keep your eyes trained on him. This is the only part where you need to keep your head on, make sure that he knows you want this.
âRemember your colors, sugar?â You nob, excitement bubbling up inside of you. âRemember, daddy will only be upset with you if you donât use them. If you need to say yellow or red, you will.â His tone is final. This is the only way he would ever agree to treating you like a slut.
âYes, daddy.â And just like that, Buckyâs entire demeanor changes. He goes from your sweet, cuddly boyfriend to a cold and callous body of muscle.Â
âThen take your clothes off, slut.â He pushes you off his lap, just hard enough to give the illusion of indifference. As you strip, Bucky keeps his eyes trained on the TV, not paying you any mind. Your core throbs at the fact that you are completely exposed while he is still fully dressed.Â
âOn your knees.â Heâs still not looking at you, but you obey without thought, willing to do whatever he wants. Grabbing the back of your neck, he forces you in between his spread legs, and you whine at the fact that his cock is still soft inside his sweats. Any other day, Bucky would make sure that your knees were never on the hardwood floor without a pillow or something soft underneath, but not today.
On days like these, when you want to feel completely submissive, it takes Bucky a while to get aroused. Itâs in his nature to love up on you, make you drunk with pleasure in the sweetest way possible. He feeds off of your energy. When he is sure that you are having fun, his body lets himself fall into his role.
âWhat? You think at the first signs of some tits Iâm gonna get hard? I knew you were a dumb slut but I didnât realize just how thick you were.â Your pussy was absolutely pulsing with need. With his hand still on the back of your neck, he rubs your face against his crotch, feeling his cock begin to harden at the smell of your arousal.
He pulls you back far enough to slide his pants down, foregoing boxers, and you immediately try to take his half hard length in your mouth. Before you can process it, Buckyâs right hand lands a slap to your cheek - hard enough to make a welt that will take a few hours to disappear. You gasp and your cunt pulses even harder than before at the sting left on your cheek.Â
His metal hand wraps around your chin, much cooler than itâs supposed to be, and forces you to look him in the eye. In the back of your mind you realize that he turned on the cooling function in his arm to sooth your cheek; the arm was built to keep him cool in the Wakandan sun and heat. âDid daddy say you could suck his cock?â He uses his hand to shake your head from side to side, answering for you. âThen keep your slutty mouth shut.â
He spreads his legs wider and pulls your face closer to his heavy sack, already full of cum. âHands behind your back, and suck on daddyâs balls.â You join your hands together behind your back without question and nuzzle his balls. Wasting no time, you take one into your mouth, sucking feverishly, enjoying the light dusting of hair tickling your face.
âOh, fuck, come on, slut, I know you can do better than that. Take âem both in your dirty mouth.â He pushes you further into him, cutting off your oxygen, and you swear you hear your slick drip onto the floor. Your jaw aches as you try to get them both in your mouth, but you can't; his balls are too big. Bucky ruts against your face, squishing his balls, precum leaking from his tip, dripping onto his stomach after he takes his shirt off.
With your limited amount of movement, you alternate between each ball, licking at the seam. Every time you switch balls, you feel the other drag wetly across your face and you have to clench your legs in an attempt to quell the ache between them while fighting with your need for air. âSuch a dirty bitch, lapping at your daddyâs nuts, shit.â He pulls you back just as your head starts to go fuzzy from the lack of oxygen, and you gasp for air, spit is covering the lower half of your face and is dripping down your neck and chest; Bucky feels his cock throb at the sight.
Reaching out, Bucky smears your spit around your face and leaves another, weaker smack to your cheek before he grabs his cock and uses his weeping tip to tease you, dragging it on your face. âWhat a nasty fucking bitch, drooling all over the place just from sucking some balls.â He slaps your cheeks with it a few times before forcing your head down all the way, making you gag and you immediately pull off, coughing.
He stares into your eyes, cold and calculating, waiting for you to speak. When your coughing subsides you manage to get out a hoarse âgreen,â giving him the all clear. He takes your head and once again makes you take his cock, this time much slower and not as deep, the first time he wanted to fuck with you. âSuch a perfect fucking mouth, shit.â He stops you from bobbing your head, âStop being such a desperate whore and let daddy finish his movie.â You're sure youâre leaking onto the floor at this point.
You are able to see his face and he looks wrecked, mouth hanging open and head back; heâs not watching shit. Nonetheless, you rest your head on his thigh, getting comfortable, spreading your legs out to get closer to the floor so your head won't be bent at an awkward angle, ignoring the pain in your knees and the ache in your jaw.Â
The only sounds filling the room are Buckyâs ragged breathing and the movie playing in the background. There is saliva everywhere, his cock, all over his balls, down to his ass and on the couch. His cock is constantly leaking precum into your mouth but you donât swallow, letting his taste linger on your tongue.Â
This isnât what you wanted, you wanted him to demolish you. Sitting with his cock in your mouth is giving you too much time to think, so you do what any sane person would do - be a brat. At the first suckle, Bucky lets out a broken moan, at the second, he knows what youâre up to. Flicking your ear with his metal hand he hisses, âDonât make me punish you, bitch.â At the third, he yanks you off of his dick, a trail of drool and precum keeping the two of you connected, as slaps you once again with his flesh hand, this time not soothing the marred flesh with his metal hand.
He stands and kicks the couch out of the way and pulls you with him by the neck. âYou disobedient little-â he cuts himself short at the small puddle of slick that he finds from your previous position. âIs that what I think it is?â You only whine in response, his grip on your neck never faltering.Â
With his free hand, he reaches down to your pussy to feel just how wet you are, confirming his suspicions. âWhat a dirty fucking slut, leaking all over my floor.â He pulls you in closer to him just to whisper, âLick it the fuck up, bitch,â before pushing you to the ground.Â
Your knees hit the wood hard and pain runs up your spine. You ignore the ache and brainlessly lap at your juices on the floor before Bucky smushes your cheek against the puddle and you moan. âMessy bitch, you are? Cunt is pulsing, waiting for my dick. Too bad I have to punish you, isnât it, slut?â He leans down to the floor, eyes lined up with yours. âDaddy is going to give you ten spanks and I want you to count them.â You donât respond immediately, stuck in a sort of limbo, drawn in further at the softness in his eyes.
No matter how hard he tries, Bucky canât hide his devotion to you, thatâs why he doesnât let you look at him when he needs to play this role. His whole face softens at your silence, fearing heâs gone too far. âColor, sugar.â Stroking your cheek, he leans in closer, breathing you in.
âGreen, daddy, so green.â The sigh Bucky lets out is audible and he feels ten times lighter.
âGood girl, you want to keep going the way we were?â Even though you said green, he wants to be certain.
âYes please, daddy, want you to be mean.â You look so small and soft. Bucky struggles to put his facade back up, but he knows you need this.
Bucky positions himself behind you, staring at your ass and glistening pussy, and feels his cock bounce. The first slap isnât soft by any means, you know there will be a handprint left. Your body jolts and Bucky groans at the jiggle of your ass. âOne.â The second is on your other cheek and makes you clench around nothing. âTwo.â He lands the next two much harder on the same cheek and you feel tears form in your eyes, yet continue to count, digging your nails into your palm.
He repeats the two spanks to your left cheek and takes a break to sooth your heated and raised skin with his metal hand after youâve counted. The ground beneath your cheek is hard and unforgiving, leaving you neck bent at an odd angle. Spank seven lands on the back of your right thigh and somehow feels much stronger. âShit! Seven, daddy.â Eight is on your left, and is just as hard. Your entire lower body aches: cunt pulsing and throbbing for his cock, thighs burning, and ass red and raw, sobbing with every impact.
âThese last two are going to be harder, slut, since you forgot to count.â Even with his warning, you arenât prepared. They are hard and fast, hearing them before you feel them, knocking the breath out of you, and you try to scramble up, but Bucky holds you down. âDonât run away from me, you know better.â All of a sudden, the sharpest and most excruciating pain blooms from your cunt, and then you hear the wet smack of his metal hand hitting your core.Â
You wail, body shooting up, legs fighting to close to soothe the sting left. Before you can, Buckyâs hand on the back of your head keeps you to the ground, while he slams his cock into your cunt, not stopping to let you adjust. âThatâs it, fuck. Such a good pussy. Dirty fucking bitch.â You canât breathe, his cock is knocking all of the air out of your lungs. The only sounds in the room are Buckyâs moans and the wet slapping of skin, his heavy balls banging against your sore clit. With each thrust youâre sure heâs hitting your cervix.
The hand on the back of your head leaves to grab your hip, letting him fuck you even faster, the both of you sliding further and further on the floor. You try to brace yourself with your hands, but the brutality of his fucking is no match. âDaddy, fuck, s-so g-good, please!â You donât know what youâre begging for, but your cunt is pulling him in, barely letting him pull out.
Bucky is practically chasing you on the floor, hips never slowing down, eyes trained on your pussy, loving the creamy white mess on his dick. âFuuuck, look at the ass bouncing on daddyâs cock, shit! Love the way this fat fucking ass looks when its all red and sore.â Heâs in heaven, with the tight clench of your cunt wrapping around his cock, making him feel crazy.
âDaddy! I canât, f-fuck, please, too much!â Youâre fucking delirious with pleasure, feeling something twisting inside of you. You searched for something to hold on to, only finding smooth surface, legs locking, body seizing up.
âYou can and you will take this dick, bitch. I donât care if it makes you fucking bleed.â The pressure in your core builds tighter and tighter, all the while, Buckyâs hips never falter, sack still ramming against your clit.The breath is knocked out of you when you feel the most intense orgasm of your life pass through you.
Keening and wailing, you squirt on Buckyâs cock, the sounds of your fucking somehow getting even more wet until the force of your orgasm pushes his cock out. Your body is left twitching. There is a much larger puddle on the floor now - your cum. Bucky could fucking cum at the sight of your pathetic body laying on the ground, body wrought with pleasure. âFuck, sugar! That was so fucking hot! You squirted all over, shit! I fucking love you so goddamn much.âÂ
The entire lower half of his body is covered with your cum and Bucky swears he can feel his heartbeat in his cock. Nonetheless, he wraps his arms around your waist and hulls you over to where he kicked the couch, placing your upper half on the cushions. âYouâre so fucking wet now I bet I could slide right into that tight ass, what do you think, slut?â Your core pulses at the thought of his fat cock in your ass, the two of you donât usually do anal, given how big he is, but you canât think straight, especially after cumming so hard.
âYes, daddy. I want your big cock in my ass, want you to fill me up.â Bucky groans at the thought of his excessive load running out of your ass. Leaning back, he ruts against your pussy, gathering more of your slick, before spreading your cheeks with his hands, staring at your puckered hole. He lines his cock up and watches as precum leaks from his tip.
His cock is huge, much longer and thicker than average, and he knows it. Grabbing himself near his tip, he pushes, grunting at the resistance, knowing that this would be much easier if he takes the time to prep you, but you want to be treated like a whore. âYou gotta loosen the fuck up, bitch or else Iâll really fucking hurt you. Want this fucking ass so bad, better let daddy in. Cock is too big for this little ass, isnât it, gonna split you in half, leave you leaking for days.âÂ
He pushes harder, tip finally popping in, causing searing pain to shoot through you. Crying out, you try to pull forward to escape the burning pain, wiggling further into the couch. Bucky leans over, careful not to push in any further, he knows you need a moment, any other time you would have been fully prepped and he would have slid right in, and wraps his metal hand around your neck, shushing you, âShhhh, stop being so dramatic.âÂ
After a few minutes, the pain begins to subside and your breathing calms down. Keeping his hand around your throat, he pushes in, inch by inch, and the pain comes back. You whine into the cushion, every new inch burning more than the last until his hips are flush with your ass. âWhat the fuck?! Your ass is so fu-fucking tight, shit! Fucking milking my cock, wanna pound this little hole, wanna fucking ruin you.â
Burying his face in the back of your neck, Bucky was taking deep breaths, completely out of it. He wasnât thinking straight, not when your tight hole was hugging every inch of his cock. You on the other hand, were struggling, it was too much too fast. It fucking hurt, there were tears in your eyes, but your pussy was aching like it wanted more. Your clit throbbed with need, even when your ass was stretched to the brim.
You didnât want to stop, but you needed a break, before Bucky could move his hips you muttered, âYellow, daddy, yellow.â The hand on your neck left and Bucky maneuvered his upper body so that he could look you in the eye without moving his cock. His entire demeanor was different, back was your sweet, caring boyfriend.Â
âGood girl, daddyâs so proud of you for using your safe word. Shhh, itâs okay, sugar. Do you just need a second to breathe? Take your time, if you need to stop I will.â Bucky caresses your face as he soothes you, bringing you back down. His cock is still buried to the hilt in your ass, driving him insane. He wants to rail you so fucking bad, tip of his cock probably purple by now, but he would never do anything you didnât want to, more than willing to sit with his cock inside of you until youâre ready or decide to stop.
You donât know how much time passes, but eventually, you loosen up and your mind goes fuzzy once again, desperate for him to move. You wiggle your hips, rocking back and forth, instead of pain, blinding pleasure courses through you. âGreen, daddy. Iâm ready, just needed to get used to your fat cock, want you to pound into me.â Bucky lets out the most sinful groan and stills your hips with his hands.
He starts out slow, easing you into his motions, gradually gaining speed and force the louder your moans get. âDaddy, faster, please, harder, feels so good!â You were practically sobbing, loving the way he was splitting you open. His hips and thighs were wet from when you squirted on him, slapping against your ass, everytime he pulled back a vulgar shlick sound could be heard.
He fucked you faster and harder, staring at where you were connected. âThis fucking ass feels incredible. Taking me so well, knew you could do it, fuck. Splitting your tiny ass in half. Oh God!â He could feel his orgasm building up, fighting it off everytime his cum filled sack slapped against your pussy. Letting go of your hips he snarled, âShow daddy how much of a fucking slut you are and bounce that fat ass on his cock.â
You whined, but complied anyway, digging your toes into the floor to get more leverage to keep slamming back on his cock. The sounds of skin slapping and both of your moans completely drowned out the ending of Buckyâs movie, not that either of you cared. Panting and moaning, you kept working yourself on him, feeling another orgasm bubbling up.
Meeting your thrusts, Bucky was rambling, not having one coherent thought in his head, âLook at that, give me that ass, yes! Donât you dare fucking stop, bitch, want you to milk this cock. Love the way it fucking bounces, never seen anything like it, oh fuck!â He was getting whiny, high pitched moans falling from his lips. He couldnât help it, his cock was too fucking sensitive and you felt too good.Â
âM Gonna cum, daddy! Can I cum?â Bucky practically growls, getting up to his feet to squat, not missing a beat while still trusting in you. Every time his pelvis met your ass he whined and whimpered, loving the way it jiggled. He could feel you clenching around him, drawing his own orgasm closer.
âNot until I do. Fucking hold it, bitch.â It seemed impossible, but Bucky fucked you even faster, his hips moving at a ferocious speed. He wanted to cum so fucking bad and your high pitched moans were about to make him bust. âOh shit, oh shit, oh shit. Iâm gonna fucking nut. You want daddy to fill your ass up, huh? God! Fuck, Iâm splitting you in two. Uhhh. Balls are so heavy, so much cum. Fuuuuuuck. Daddyâs gonna fill you up, have you leaking.â
His hand wraps around your throat and chokes you, hips still smashing against yours, your orgasm barely being held in. You try to talk, get him to let you cum, but no words come out. Bucky felt his orgasm approach, balls pulling up, âShiiit, daddyâs gonna cum, gonna flood your ass, you ready, cum with your daddy. Right. Fucking. Now.â Bucky cums with a long, drawn out moan. The feeling of his endless load pouring into your ass sends you over the edge and you cum so hard your vision goes black for a second. Waves upon waves of pleasure coursing through you. Buckyâs hips jerk involuntarily, prolonging both of your orgasms.Â
As you both catch your breaths, you feel Bucky begin to soften inside of you, still plugging your hole, stopping his cum from leaking back out. âYou were so good for me, sugar. Iâm so proud of you.â At those words you feel your bottom lip begin to tremble. Burying your face into the cushions, a sob escapes your throat, all of your emotions finally bubbling over.
Running his hands up and down your back, Bucky soothes you. This was always his least favorite part, seeing you cry. He knows that youâre crying isnât because of him, but there is always a twinge of fear that shoots through his body, scared that he went too far with you. Bucky pulls out as gently as he can, hissing when the air touches his spent dick, and moves to rest his back against the couch, pulling you into his lap.
Neither of you care that his cum is leaking all over. Bucky will clean the room later, after he takes care of his sweet girl. You cling to him as you sob into his neck, his hands massage your sore cheeks as he whispers in your ear, âSuch a good girl for me, you made me feel so fucking good. Canât even begin to explain how good you felt. There you go, let it out. Iâm right here.â
Carefully, he picks you up and carries you to the bathroom. When he tries to set you down you just cling on harder to him, not wanting to leave his embrace. âI gotta draw us a bath, sugar. You know you have to pee, Iâll be right here when youâre done.â You hesitantly let him go while he draws the bath, putting in your favorite oils. After you pee and wipe, he helps you up so you can wash your hands before sitting you both in the tub.
Bucky sits against the wall of the tub and you curl further into his lap, not wanting any space in between you. Somehow you still arenât close enough to him, wanting to be surrounded completely by him. Tears are still leaking down your face and even with Buckyâs consuming presence, you canât seem to pull yourself up to the surface. Buckyâs arms are wrapped around you, making sure that you are as close as possible without him being inside of you.
âSweets, can you look at me? Want to see those pretty eyes.â You can hear the concern in Buckyâs voice, but you canât bring yourself to move away. Heâs your safe space and you just want to bask in his warmth. âSweets, please. Can you tell me how you feel? I need to know youâre okay.â You donât know why that set you off, but all of a sudden more tears escape you, sobs fighting to make their way out.
Buckyâs entire world stops, fear shoots up his spine. He doesnât know if he could live with himself if he hurt you, if he did something that you didnât want. He knows that you asked him to treat you like a whore, but what if you didnât want him to go as far as he did? You used your safe word when it got to be too much, but what if you really wanted to say red, not yellow, but wanted to please him, or felt like you had to please him. âSweetheart, did I hurt you? Did I go too far? Please talk to me.â
Even though you didnât want to talk, you could hear that he was about to cry. âIâm okay. Just love you so much.â You could feel Bucky relax under you.
âYou sure, sweets? Iâve never seen you like this before.â While some of his fears subsided, Bucky was still worried about you.
Picking your head up so you could look him in the eye, you saw just how scared Bucky truly was. âI promise, Buck, I loved every second of it. You made me feel so good and cared for. No one has ever made me feel the way you do.â Bucky closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall. At that moment, Bucky understood why aftercare was so important. Of course he knew you needed to be taken care of so that you knew how much he loved you, but hearing those words come out of your mouth made him feel loved in a way he didnât know was possible.Â
Before the water gets cold youâve stopped crying, making Bucky feel much better and he washes the sweat and spit off of your face and body, being extra careful with your sensitive pussy and ass. All the while whispering sweet nothings into your ear while you take turns kissing each other all over.
Bucky feels ten times lighter when he gets a giggle out of you. He knows that there will be days when you need him to treat you like a slut, but you know how much he loves and respects you. He lays you on the bed before grabbing your favorite lotion to put on, being extra careful when it comes to your sore ass, placing kisses in each spot after he's rubbed in the lotion.
 The marks on your face are gone by now, but Bucky still fusses over your skin care routine, knowing you donât have the energy to complete it. After taking care of you, he climbs into bed and covers the both of you up, still naked but you donât care. Bucky reaches into the bedside drawer and grabs some chocolate while you feed it to each other. Neither of you say much, but nothing needs said.Â
You place kisses on his chest and arms, anywhere that you can reach, trying to let him know how much you appreciate him - Bucky knows. You fall asleep first, not being able to keep your eyes open any longer, Bucky moves you to his chest, cocooning you into him before he falls asleep, your head tucked carefully under his chin, legs tangled together, completely protected by him.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x you#bucky x reader#bucky barnes smut#bucky x y/n#bucky imagine#bucky smut#bucky x female reader#bucky x you#sebastian stan x reader#bucky fanfic#james bucky barnes#dom bucky barnes#sebastian stan imagine#sebastian stan smut#james bucky buchanan barnes#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes fluff
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Against All Odds | Part I
An arranged marriage with the duke's illegitimate son!bucky.
Summary: In a medieval kingdom where magic and political intrigue are woven into the fabric of society, Y/N, the youngest daughter of a noble Earl family, finds herself in an arranged marriage to James Buchanan Barnes, the illegitimate son of the Duke. Known as the Winter Soldier, Bucky's reputation as a monster in war had instilled anxiety into Y/N's heart. But that fear quickly begins to crumble when she discovers that her husband is not the brutal figure society depicts him to be.
Navigation: Part I | Part II | Part III (end)
Words: 8.1k++
Pairing: duke's illegitimate son!bucky x noble!female!reader
Warnings: fantasy/medieval au, i did not write this with much knowledge of fantasy nor medieval lore. I write it solely for plot and the couple dynamic lmao. if you're expecting full blown fantasy novel; this ain't it, man. anyways, 18+ contents, no minors allowed, nsfw, cunnilingus, p in v, unprotected sex, creampie, loss of virginity, praise kink, breeding kink (if you squint), marking kink (i think), soft fluffy smut, a wee bit of dirty talk. soft!reader and even softer!bucky. (idk what else, so tell me if there's something i miss.)
P/S: This is the fic for an idea I had earlier this year. The first chapter will only cover the original post but what happens next is something you will need to look forward on the upcoming chapters. Enjoy your read!
Read my other works here: Masterlist
Y/N stood in front of the grand mirror in her chamber, her reflection staring back at her with wide, fearful eyes. The delicate lace of her wedding dress was the opposite of the twisting anxiety in her stomach. Today, she was to marry James Buchanan Barnes, the illegitimate son of the Duke of the kingdom, a man labelled to be more beast than human.
He was known as the Winter Soldier, a title whispered with both fear and awe. Tales of his gruesome feats in battle, his merciless brutality, and his cold, metal arm was deemed as a horror story for the children in the kingdom. People spoke of him as a monstrous weapon, a beast moulded by the Emperor to do his bidding without question or hesitation.Â
Y/N had heard the stories many times before; and it has always been a hushed conversation that floats around whether a ballroom of a gala, or at the tables of the garden parties, sometimes even in between the racks of books in the library.
They always painted a picture of a man who lived only for war, devoid of humanity.
She couldn't help but let these tales feed her imagination. What kind of man was he truly? Did he revel in the violence, or was he a prisoner to his fate? Y/N shuddered at the thought, her heart heavy with fear and uncertainty.
Her father, the Earl, had made it clear why she needed to marry him. It was a political manoeuvre, a strategic alliance to strengthen their family's position. The duke, Bucky's father, wielded considerable power, and their union would bring the Earl closer to the heart of the kingdom's influence.Â
And when he heard that the duke was looking for a wife for his bastard son, he knew that she would be perfect. That was when Y/N, the youngest daughter, became the pawn in this game. Her father's ambitions certainly outweighed any consideration for her feelings or desires.
Y/N had always longed for a marriage of love, a dream she clung to despite her circumstances. She was a hopeless romantic through and through; much like her late mother. She remembered the nights when her mother would read to her and her siblings, spinning tales of prince charming and valiant heroes.
The fire crackled warmly in the hearth as her motherâs soothing voice filled the room. Y/N and her siblings, her older brother Eric and sister Clara, lay tucked under blankets, their eyes wide with wonder.
"And then the prince, with a heart full of love, swept the princess into his arms, vowing to protect her forever," her mother read, her voice a melodic whisper.
Y/N, her eyes sparkling with innocence, declared, "When I grow up, I want to marry a prince charming too!"
Clara, ever the practical one, nodded in agreement. "Me too! He has to be brave and kind."
Eric, being a little boy, scrunched his nose in distaste. "I donât want to get married. I want to be a knight!"
Their mother chuckled softly, brushing a strand of hair from Y/Nâs forehead. "It does not matter if he is a prince charming or a humble knight. As long as you marry the one you love, that is what truly matters."
Y/N's heart ached at the memory. How she wished her mother were still here to guide her through this terrifying day. The gentle knock on the door brought her back to the present.
"Lady Y/N, itâs time," one of the maids said softly.
Y/N took a long and deep breath, smoothing down the fabric of her dress. She followed the maid down the corridor, her mind a swirl of emotions. Reaching the grand doors of the church, her father waited for her.
"Remember, Y/N," he said, his voice stern. "Do not mess this up. Just endure it. And you'll be fine. This is the most useful you can be to our family."
Her heart sank further; yet she nodded obediently.
Compared to Y/N, her elder brother, a celebrated swordsman, and her sister, a master in the art of business, had always outshone her in their father's eyes. Y/N's talent with languages; ancient and modern â was seen as a useless skill, something that brought no tangible benefit to the family.Â
Her father had never been cruel when she was younger but everything changed when her mother died. In fact, everyone in the family had lost a piece of their soul when she left. Now, his lack of affection only increases the number of scars on her heart.
The doors opened, revealing the crowds of high-ranking nobles; who were mostly strangers â staring at her. Some were judging her; some pitied her. She reminded herself that she was doing this for her family, for the greater good. But the little girl inside her who dreamed of prince charming certainly felt a pang of sorrow.
As she walked down the aisle, her legs trembled, and her hands shook so violently that she had to clasp them together to steady herself. From afar, she saw the silhouette of the man she was destined to marry. His tall and huge figure stood out compared to anyone in the hall. As she got closer, she kept her gaze fixed on the floor, too afraid to look up at her husband-to-be.
When she finally reached the altar, the priest began the ceremony. His speech was long and dragging, giving Y/N too much time to entertain her growing curiosity that she dared to glance up at the man next to her. Even from behind the veil, she could see his towering and broad-shouldered build, his presence commanding the room. His long hair was slightly untamed, and a scruffy beard framed his face. His metal hand, glinting in the sun that leaked through the churchâs windows, was a jarring reminder of the rumors that surrounded him.
There were no heartfelt vows to recite to each other; only their promise of "I do" was exchanged. And that was the first time Y/N heard his voice. It was deep and resonant, sending a shiver down her spine; but there was a certain warmth in it that contrasted sharply with his fearsome reputation.
When the priest announced their union and Bucky lifted her veil, Y/N was struck by the unexpected gentleness in his eyes. They were a brilliant, mesmerizing blue, and for a moment, she forgot to breathe. Bucky's eyes softened as he looked at her, his gaze tender and almost reverent. Slowly, he placed one hand gently around her waist, pulling her slightly closer. His other hand came up to cup her cheek, his touch surprisingly gentle against her skin.
Y/N's heart pounded in her chest as he leaned in, her breath catching in her throat. When his lips met hers, they were soft, warm, and so unexpected. She could smell his cologne; an earthy, woodsy scent mixed with a hint of something fruity; like peaches or tangerines. It made her head spin and her heart jumped all at the same time.Â
The kiss was gentle and unhurried, very much differs to the forceful gesture she had feared. As he pulled away, Y/N found herself blinking slowly, her cheeks flushed and her fear momentarily replaced by confusion and a surprising awe. She was caught off guard by the tenderness of his touch, the way his lips had brushed against hers so gently.
Could the rumors about him be wrong?
"Iâm sorry if I startled you," he said, his voice low and gentle. "I hope I didnât scare you, my dear."
Y/N blinked slowly, trying to process the sudden shift in her emotions. The fear that had gripped her so tightly seemed to dissipate, replaced by a confusing mix of relief and intrigue. Her hands, which had been trembling, now rested at her sides, feeling strangely steady. Her eyes met his, and she could see softness in his gaze that contradicted the harsh rumors she had heard.
âIâno, you didnât scare me,â she managed to say; her voice barely more than a whisper. She took a deep breath, her cheeks getting warmer as she processed the endearment he just called her. On the other hand, her mind was racing as she tried to reconcile the man in front of her with the fearsome figure of the Winter Soldier.
Buckyâs eyes mellowed even further, his gaze glazed with a tenderness that seemed to pierce through the weight of the room. A warm smile spread across his face, and he held her gaze with a comforting assurance.
âGood,â he said, his voice carrying a gentle affection. âIâm glad to hear that.â
The reception that followed was a blur of faces and polite conversation. Y/N moved through the crowd, accepting congratulations and well-wishes, but her mind was elsewhere. She couldnât shake the feeling that there was more to Bucky than the rumors suggested. Every time she caught his eye, he gave her a small, reassuring smile that made the butterflies inside of her go wild.
As the evening drew to a close, they were escorted to one of the Emperorâs palaces, a grand and opulent residence that was to serve as their temporary home before they traveled north to Buckyâs territory. The palace, with its lavish furnishings and golden accents, seemed to mock the uncertainty Y/N felt. She had been assigned a chamber to prepare for the night, and the palace maids were bustling around her, helping her into a set of elaborate, far-from-modest lingerie.
The palaceâs maidsâ whispers and side glances did nothing to ease her growing anxiety. Their condescending tones and occasional snickers were laced with cruel speculation about how roughly Bucky would treat her. The more Y/N overheard, the more her apprehension grew. Despite the gentleness Bucky had shown her earlier, she found herself doubting its sincerity.
Could he really be the caring husband he appeared to be, or was it all just an elaborate show?
The maids finally left, their laughter fading down the hallway, leaving Y/N alone in the grand chamber. Her heart raced, and cold sweat formed at her brow as she sat quietly on the edge of the ornate bed. She kept her gaze firmly on the floor, her hands fidgeting in her lap. The room felt enormous, its sheer size heightening her sense of isolation and dread.
The door creaked open, and Bucky entered the room. Y/Nâs heart nearly stopped as she heard the heavy, measured footsteps approaching. She couldnât bring herself to look up, her body tense and her mind a swirl of panic and unease. She almost held her breath entire when she felt the slight indentation of the mattress beside her.
âY/N,â Buckyâs voice was soft and coaxing, a distinct difference to the coldness she was expecting. âLook at me.â He continued. She hesitated momentarily; torn between obeying and disobeying but ultimately decided to raise her eyes to meet his.
The sight of him; his upper body bare, revealing a tapestry of scars and the stark metal of his prosthetic arm; made her breath hitch. Her eyes traced the lines of his faded wound, particularly the jagged marks where his shoulder met his metal arm. She couldnât help but feel a pang of sorrow and concern. Her fingers, almost of their own accord, reached out to trace the contours of his chest and shoulder.
Bucky let the innocence of her touch to trace the most tainted parts of him; however noting her trembling eyes, he misunderstood her apprehension. âI want you to know, Y/N,â he said, his voice firm yet gentle, âthat I will never hurt you. You are safe with me.â
Y/N shook her head, her heart aching. She felt an unexplainable pain growing in her chest as she gazed at him. Her fingers still lightly touching his scars; her eyes, full of unshed tears, silently asked a question she was too afraid to voice. âDoes it still hurt?â she wanted to ask, her expression betraying her concern.
Buckyâs eyes sparkled with affection, and he took her hand in his, holding it tenderly against his chest. âDon't worry. It does not hurt anymore,â he said with a reassuring smile.Â
The connection between them was electric, charged with a deep, unspoken understanding. Buckyâs gaze was steady and filled with a depth of unspoken emotion that took Y/Nâs breath away. âI know this is difficult for you, Y/N,â he said, his voice laden with sincerity. âBut I promise, I will do everything in my power to make you happy.â
His words and the way he looked at her left Y/N feeling both comforted and overwhelmed. For the first time since their wedding, she felt a genuine, flickering hope that maybe, just maybe, their marriage could become something more than a mere political arrangement. Buckyâs assurances, his gentleness, and the tenderness in his eyes began to dissolve the fears she had harboured since the beginning of their union.
As they sat there, the weight of the nightâs expectations seemed to lift, replaced by a fragile but growing trust. Y/N had entered this marriage with a sense of duty, convinced that she would have to endure the consummation of their union as a matter of obligation. But Buckyâs tenderness, his understanding, and the sincere reassurance he had given her began to change her perspective.
The idea of fulfilling her marital duty had initially felt like a burden she had to bear. She had steeled herself to face it with resignation, convinced that it was merely another part of her role in this arranged marriage. But now, she found herself reconsidering. The idea of being with him no longer felt like an obligation but a possibility of something more profound and intimate.
Y/N hands softly toyed with the delicate strings of her sheer lingerie, pulling it softly as her doe eyes signalled her husband of her intention. Bucky, sensing the shift in her demeanor, looked into her eyes with a mixture of concern and affection. âAre you sure, my dear?â he asked softly. âI want you to feel safe with me and not afraid of me.â
Y/Nâs heart fluttered as she met his gaze, her own eyes reflecting the depth of her emotions. âI am,â she said with quiet conviction. âI feel safe with you, Jamesâ
Bucky's hand naturally went to brush her hair behind her ear, âItâs Bucky, my dear,â he corrected softly.
âHmm?â she asked, slightly puzzled.
He chuckled warmly. âYou can call me Bucky from now on. Itâs a nickname only a selected few who I trust and love knows.â Her eyes sparkled at his choice words; trust and love.
âBuckyâŚâ she tested the name on her tongue, the syllables feeling strangely intimate. Upon hearing his name from her lips, Buckyâs heart swelled, almost bursting from his ribcage. He hummed in approval, âThat's right, my dear. Iâm your Bucky.âÂ
His reassuring smile grew wider, his calloused thumb gently stroke her cheek causing a shiver to strum all over her nerves; sending an emerging desire. One she had not fully acknowledged until now. The way he looked at her, the pure and raw endearment in his eyes, and the softness of his touch stirred something deep within her.
As the moments passed, Y/N realised she wanted this. She wanted to feel his lips on hers, to explore the warmth of his hands, to connect with him on a level she had longed for. The yearning for his touch, which had been dormant under layers of fear and uncertainty, now surged forward with undeniable intensity.
Without fully understanding why, Y/N found herself leaning closer to him, her breath coming in soft, eager gasps. She whispered, her voice barely audible but full of longing, âBucky, please.â
Buckyâs expression softened, and a tender light filled his blue eyes, âMay I?â he asked, his voice low and gentle as he held out his hand. There a shy hesitation before she finally placed her hand in his.
With a gentle but firm pull, Bucky lifted her onto his lap, his careful hands beginning the process of undressing her. Each movement was full of care, yet almost deliberate, as he slowly removed her dress, leaving her in nothing but the flimsy lace piece covering the sacred area between her thighs.
Bucky's eyes roamed over her bare skin, admiration clear in his gaze. Y/N could feel the heat of his gaze, the way his eyes traced every curve and contour of her body. The intensity of it made her feel both vulnerable and cherished, a potent combination that sent pleasurable shivers all over her body.
Seeing the hunger in his blue eyes, she felt the warmth of his body and caught the scent of him; the same once she noticed at the church; warm and comforting. Her breath quickened, and she found herself unsure of what to do or where to place her hands, feeling like a deer caught in headlights.
Noticing the subtle panic, Bucky reached for her hands and guided them through the thick strands of his long hair. âYou can touch me as you please, my dear,â he whispered, his voice soothing as he reassured her. He leaned in to kiss her bare shoulder, then moved up to her neck, along her jaw, leaving a trail of warmth on her skin.
Y/Nâs fingers tangled in his hair, the softness surprising her. The intimacy of the moment, combined with his gentle kisses, began to dissolve the last remnants of her anxiety. The feel of his lips on her skin was electrifying, each kiss sending waves of sensation she never felt before.
Buckyâs hands, still careful and tender, caressed her back, drawing her closer to him. Her breath hitched as he kissed the valley of her breasts; soft gasps escaping her lips as Bucky begins to lick and sucked on her delicate skin; likely trying to mark his claim on her.Â
Every touch and little kisses he left sent shivers straight to her already dripping core. And by the time his lips grazed her nipple, her body jerked forward; in response, unintentionally dragging her aching pussy against his thick thigh.
His lips latched around her right nipples as he licks and sucks the hardening skin; lapping at it as if he was feeding from her. The sensation was overwhelming, yet she found herself leaning into his touch, her body responding to his gentle ministrations. The grip on his hair grew tighter as the strings of moans poured out her lips.
Buckyâs large hands find their place on her hips, guiding her to gently rut on his thigh. Trusting him, she followed his lead as he continue to grind her clit through the thin fabric she was wearing; introducing the sweet friction in on her core. Bucky pulled back slightly to look into her eyes, his expression filled with a mixture of subtle affection and desire. âYouâre doing wonderfully, my dear. Can feel your pussy leaking on me. Do you feel good?â he murmured as he dipped back to kiss her neck.
Oh, he was filthy with his choice of words but surprisingly she was not mad about it. In fact she didnât even notice the whimpers purring in her throat upon hearing those sinful words.
It was as if Bucky recognized that needy sound she made; it caused a smile to spread on his lips. She can feel it grow against the skin in between her breasts, âMy my, is my sweet wife feeling needy right now?â he teased playfully as he effortlessly lifted her up and laid her down on their bed.Â
Placing himself in between her soft thighs, his lustful gaze trained on her naked body; he admired the marks he has left on her breasts, the wet patch on the flimsy fabric covering her cunt, and the way her breath shuddered when he teasingly grind his harden cock against her.
Y/N can feel the contrast of his hands on her thigh, one warm, one cold. Her eyes drew her attention from his hands to his gorgeous face. Oh, the pure unfiltered lust in his eyes was pulling her in so effortlessly; seducing her to submit her body and soul to him completely. Shying away from his stare, she dragged her view down to his chiselled jaw, his broad chest then slowly to his beautiful abs.Â
She admired his body as much as he did of hers.
But what was more prominent out of all, was the way she could feel his erection throbbing against her heat. Blood went rushing towards her face when Bucky guided her hips against the confinement of his cock, which in response; causing her hands naturally found their way to cover her face in embarrassment.
A deep chuckle bubbled from Buckyâs throat; he found her reaction to be absolutely endearing. He leaned down towards her, one hand holding himself up and another tenderly pulling her hands away, then drawing it close to his chest, right against his beating heart.Â
Having nowhere to run, Y/Nâs teary eyes drowned in his ocean blues, âDonât hide from me, dearest.â He peppered a delicate kiss on her forehead, then on her nose, then on her cheek. She could feel the prickly sensation of his beard grazing on her skin. It was ticklish and a little bit painful and yet weirdly enough, it felt good that it naturally made her want to nuzzle it more.
But before she could, Buckyâs lips were already making their way down to her stomach. Her body responds to how soft his lips trailing down; and further down until she could feel them on her clothed core. A surprised yelp fell from her lips as he tore the last piece of clothing from her.
âNow, hands away from your face, my dear. I want to see that beautiful eyes of yours when I eat your sweet pussy.â his voice was honeyed when he made himself comfortable in between her thighs. His hands reached upwards to intertwine both of her hands with his own; acting as a restraint to restrict her from covering her face.
Y/N almost sat up upon hearing his words, âEat what now?â, the question she had in mind was unable to be vocalised; due to her confusion. Prior to marriage, she had learned about sex and its purpose in her marital studies. Unbeknownst to her, the knowledge she had was few and limited for academic purposes only. Which means there were only the few illustrations of penetration depicted in books and the process of how children are bred as a result of it.
So what does he mean when he said those words? While she was still lost and confused, Bucky on the other hand was in his own world; completely and utterly transfixed on the glistening need of her cunt. She was dripping wet; the juices covering her slits perfectly; her scent was intoxicating and if it werenât for the fact that this is her first time, Bucky wouldâve ate her like a man starved of touch. But, he canât do that. Not tonight. He wanted to be gentle; to cherish her, to love on her.
Seeing the darkened clouds in his eyes as he stared at her private, Y/N braved herself to ask, âWhat are youâ ohh hmmmâ her sentence ended up transforming into a toe curling moan as she felt Buckyâs wet tongue flattened across her weeping core. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as he dragged her clit into his mouth and sucked. He strummed her clit with his tongue, causing her to arch her back and he took the opportunity to push his face further into her cunt; licking and sucking quite the literal soul out her.
It felt amazing but her self-consciousness won the battle in her head, she let out a whimpering plea, âBuc--bucky st-stop. Thatâs dirty.â as she gripped on his hands, trying to escape from his grip. Bucky growled against her in response to her futile protest. The sweet vibration only caused her pleasure all over her fluttering core.Â
When Bucky pulled away for a moment; it caused her to feel a sense of loss. âItâs not dirty, my dear. In fact, itâs so sweet.â His lips moved to kiss on her inner thigh, murmuring against her skin as he left yet more of his marks on her, âSo fucking sweet.â He releases his right hand from hers, just to rub his thumb on her clit, slowly dragging it in between her slit; smearing her wetness all around her throbbing bundle of nerves. Her thighs trembled to the sensation of his rough movement of his thumb and a string of shaky mewls fell out of her.
âBut..â she tried to protest but immediately stopped when Bucky brought his soaked thumb to her mouth. Her lips were wet from how he gently smeared the juices on her, âTaste yourself.â He lured her softly. Hesitation glints in her eyes as her cheeks redden. Buckyâs eyes grew tender at her watery ones, he whispered lowly, âSweetheart, do you trust me?âÂ
She does; but she does not trust her own voice to not come out sounding like a needy moan, so she simply nodded. Buckyâs pink lips spread into a smile, âGood girl. Now, open up.â he coaxed lovingly.
Y/N opened her mouth as she was told and let Bucky slip his thumb inside; he was not shy to smother her juices across her tongue, coaxing her to suck on it. To get a taste of what he was having. âItâs sweetâ, she thought to herself. A muffled moan purred in her throat at the thought of her husband enjoying the taste of her.
Bucky smirk grew at her reaction, âTastes good huh, sweetheart?â he pulled his thumb away, leaving her nodding to his question. âNow are you going to let me enjoy your pussy?â his brow quirked when he tilted his head to the side. How can she deny him now? Her eyes glazed with need as she replied, âYes, pleaseâ.
Her mouth falls open in anticipation as a low moan creeps up her throat. Buckyâs tongue slips past her folds, she watched him between her legs, savouring her pussy with his unfiltered groans vibrating against her sensitive spot. Breathless moans and incoherent pleads fall from her mouth as the soft and firm tip of his tongue circled her swollen pearl and flicked it. Buckyâs hands went to her hips, guiding it in time with her own movements, giving her partial control to set the pace.
âBuckyyyy.â She gasped as she alternated between wanting to push his head away or keep him in place. Meanwhile, the man in between her thighs had lost himself; consumed by pure desire the more he drank from her cunt. His tongue moved faster against her clit when he noticed the beat of her throbbing cunt increased. She was going to come. He was sure of it.
The way that she was practically creaming on his tongue drove him near feral. He kept lapping at her juices as if it was the sweetest honey he ever tasted; fuck he even sucked her clit in hopes to force out more of her nectar to leak; then heâd lap on it again.Â
The sweet cycle had pushed Y/N over the edge, her eyes rolling back as pleasure and her hips slightly lifted as pleasure surges through her veins.âOh oh Bucky please please.â She didnât what she was begging for as she chanted his name. âIâm gonna, âm gonnaââ her words died as she squealed; her body trembling in pleasure.Â
His tongue moved faster against her clit; her cum was dripping out of her; coating his beard but his frantic licks didnât stop even when she continue to gush on his tongue.Â
âBucky please, sensitive..â It was too much; her orgasm, her swollen clit, his tongue. Everything.Â
Unfortunately for her, Bucky was far gone to stop now. He had the taste of her cum, now he wants nothing more than to have it again. Despite her protest, Bucky held her hip down, interlocking his hands across her stomach to keep her in place and continue to lick and suck on her overstimulated cunt.
Her whiny pleas didnât come across as a sign for him to stop; instead it kept him going causing him to bury his face further in between her legs. His cock continued to throb in his pants, probably leaking with so much pre-cum and in need of some sort of relief but he ignored it. He wants nothing more than for Y/N to cum on his tongue again.
And that is exactly what happened next.
The moment she fell over the edge, Bucky pushed her even harder against him as her whole body spasmed. He maintained his pace on lapping up at her all throughout her high as her hands went from his hair to the headboard, trying to hold her limp body upright. Y/N took a moment to gather herself together, panting heavily as she regained their senses; while Bucky was swift to pull his pants off and throw it to the side.
He grabbed on her hips, holding her firmly in place as his heavy leaking cock nestled between her aching pussy. âAre you sure about this, my dear?â his hot breath fanning against her neck as he gently ruts into her heat. Even though Bucky can see the darken lust in her eyes, he still wanted to make sure that she was sure of her decision.
Y/Nâs heart swelled at his concern, and she found herself smiling, a genuine smile that reflected the warmth she felt inside. She pulled him closer and kissed him, pouring all her newfound trust and affection into the kiss. âYes, Bucky. I am very sure. â
Bucky quickly responded with equal passion, his tongue slipped in between her lips; exploring the warmness of her mouth, the softness of her tongue. Their muffled moans filled the silenced room, his hands moved to caress her sides, drawing her even closer before breaking away from the heated kiss.
Resting his forehead on hers, his eyes trained on her beautiful face; not wanting to miss his chance to witness the pleasure contorting on her expression. He nudges her clit first, rubbing it slow and sensual before trailing down to her entrance. Gradually, he inches closer, he pushes in and through the tightness of her sacred channel.
Delving impossibly deep, her tightness wrapped around his thick cock until the tip of him reached the deepest parts of her. The sudden feeling of fullness on her untainted pussy caused her to experience both pain and the delightful sensation inside her. The ecstasy of being so knitly connected to each other caused both of them to simultaneously let out moans and groans of raw pleasure.
Bucky waited for her to adjust to his size; leaning down to pamper her with the softest kisses and praises that tears started to swell in her eyes. It was as if Bucky knew exactly what she wanted to hear, how she wanted to be treated and what makes her feel good.
âYouâre doing so good, my dear.â
âLook at how perfect your pussyâs taking my cock. So perfect.â
âMade for me arenât you, sweetheart?. Made to be loved by me, made to be stuffed full of my cock.â
âI promise youâll be safe with me, Y/N. Always.â
When Y/N finally gave him the permission to move, Bucky kissed her pouty lips and murmured sweetly, âThank you, my dear.â His hands travelled to find her ankle; which he then gently prop her calf over his broad shoulder. He started pumping in and out slowly, letting her get used to the friction.Â
Bucky couldnât help but to groan out to the feeling of her wet hole gripping his cock ever-so-tightly. It was slippery and dripping, that he almost completely slid out of her. Gripping her closer he continue ramming himself back in, deeper, harder; sliding in and out of her at an even pace. Each force of his cock causing her body to jerk in ecstasy; hitting that good spot in her so perfectly.
âS-shit, sweetheart,â he moans deep and heavy as he felt her pussy tightening around him. His metal hand slid in between them and his thumb hones in on her clit. The coldness of his finger made her jolt at first but when he proceeded to rub and pinch on it, everything suddenly started to feel too intense; so incredibly good.
With his fingers assaulting her clit, each thrust of his cock and every deep guttural moan and groan coming from Bucky, she felt her release was growing closer. Bucky also started thrusting faster and harder; he knew he was about to come. Especially when he can feel how much pre-cum has been leaking inside her.
He leaned and rested his forehead on hers, his needy ruts became more and more irregular when her pretty doe eyes looked up at him, âCum for me, my dear.â his lips brushed against Y/Nâs as he coaxed her to her sweet release. His thrusts got harsher and deeper and the friction of his metal finger working on her clit got her cunt to frantically tremble around him, âI wanna feel you milk my cock, sweetheart. Then, Iâm gonna my pump cum inside you until youâre leaking.â
Although his words were debauched to no end, however Y/N could sense his genuine affection for her. She felt his sincerity in the way he looked at her, in the way he held her, in the silenced gaze they shared. Overwhelmed with pleasure, her nails dragged across Buckyâs back as she moaned and screamed out his name; letting the high took over her body.
âFuck,, sweetheart. Iâm gonna cum!â groaned as he took in the sound of her pleasured mewls. He ruthlessly grinds into her, savouring the feeling of her cunt tightened around him. With one last rut, he thrust his cock, balls deep inside and let his warm white strings filling her up to the brim. His cock twitches in her fluttering cunt, his legs tensing with every small grind he makes, groaning lowly at her as he bites down on her shoulder, almost drooling on her as he emptied himself completely into her.
Y/N continued to let out strings of soft moans as he pulled out from her leaking cunt; all swollen and sensitive. While she thought she could finally catch some breaths, she didnât notice the way Bucky was biting on his lip at the sight of his cum dripping out of her, or how his hands lazily tugging on his now hardened cock.
âDearest?â Bucky hovered above her as he cradled her by her flushed cheeks. She smiled sweetly as she leaned to his touch, âYes, Bucky?â, she was anticipating him to utter more of those soft words and praises to her; but instead his lips curled into a devilish grin when he slid his cock back into her, immediately pulling a long sinful mewl of his name from her. Bucky hummed approvingly in response; he gently brushed his lips against hers, âMay I fill you up again?â
As the morning sun streamed through the windows, Y/N slowly stirred awake. She reached out, instinctively searching for the warmth of her husband beside her, but found the space empty. A pang of loneliness touched her heart, but it was quickly replaced by curiosity when she saw a bouquet of bluebells, her favourite flower, placed delicately on the bedside table.
Next to the bouquet was a note. With a small smile, she picked it up and began to read.
"My Dearest Y/N,
I hate to leave you alone this morning, but I must ensure our journey home is smooth and safe. I trust you slept well, and I promise to return to your side as soon as I can.
Yours always,
Bucky"
The words written on the note were filled with sincerity and reassurance that made her heart flutter. She smiled, a blush creeping across her cheeks as she wondered how he knew bluebells were her favourite.
Just as she was lost in thought, the door opened, and the palaceâs maids entered the room. Their faces were a mixture of curiosity and impatience, clearly expecting to see a frightened and bruised young bride.
However, when they saw Y/N's skin, they temporarily froze in their spots. Her skin was indeed bruised, but each one of them recognized the marks for what they were: love marks, not signs of harsh abuse that they were expecting. The traces of Bucky's possessive love were prominent all over her neck, chest, and inner thighs, leaving Y/N blushing as the maids, too, found themselves flushed with embarrassment.
âWell, isnât this a surprise,â one of the older maids muttered under her breath, her tone laced with irritation. Another maid, with a more condescending sneer, huffed. âLooks like we lost the bet, ladies. Who would have thought the beast could be so... tender?â
Y/Nâs cheeks burned with a mix of embarrassment and pride. She could feel their resentful glances and knew they were not pleased with the outcome. The marks on her body were a testament to the affection and desire Bucky had shown her, and despite the initial fear, she now wore them as symbols of the unexpected bond they had begun to forge.
The head maid, who had been the most vocal the night before, now seemed to handle her with an edge of bitterness. The other maids, who had been so quick to judge, were now silent, their eyes wide with resentment.One of the younger maids, braver than the rest, couldnât hide her frustration. âWell, my lady, I suppose youâre alright, then?â she asked, her voice barely masking her disappointment.
Y/N looked at her, considering the appropriate response. If it was up to her, she ought to punish every single one of them for not knowing their place. Unfortunately, they were not her maids to begin with, but the palace's staff. Otherwise, she would likely fire each one of them.Â
The memory of Buckyâs affection and care filled her heart, leaving no room for anger or resentment. The warmth of his embrace and the gentle way he had treated her made the maids' behaviour seem petty and insignificant.
She could still feel the lingering touch of his lips on her skin, the way his hands had caressed her so delicately, and the sound of his reassuring voice. Her body was still tingling with the remnants of the previous night's intimacy. Her skin bore the marks of his love, not of brutality, and each bruise was a testament to the passion they had shared. It was completely different to the vile expectations of the maids.
A small smile playing on her lips despite the blush that still coloured her cheeks. "Yes," she said softly, "I am quite alright."
The maids exchanged annoyed glances, their expressions a mix of frustration and disbelief. Their muttered disappointments were tuned out as Y/N focused on the lingering warmth from the night before.
She couldn't hear a single thing except her heart beating to the thought of her husband. She missed him already. Who wouldâve thought sheâd be swooning for him so soon?
She found herself yearning for his presence, the comfort of his touch, and the sound of his reassuring voice. The memory of his gentle kiss and tender words lingered in her mind yet again, making her heart flutter.
As the maids continued their work, Y/N hoped they would at least perform their duties well enough to cover up for their childish behaviour. She wanted to be ready to see Bucky, to greet him with the same warmth and affection he had shown her. Despite their rudeness, she resolved to focus on the positive, cherishing the newfound bond with her husband.
Bucky stood at the head of the table, his stern expression and commanding presence filling the room. He was reviewing the logistics of their journey home, his voice cold and decisive as he issued instructions to his knights. His trusted knight, Sam, was detailing the possible hotspots for bandits they might encounter along the way.
"We'll likely face trouble here," Sam said, pointing to a spot on the map. "We should send some of our best men ahead to clear the path."
"Agreed," Bucky responded, his tone unyielding. "Deploy the knights in advance. Ensure the path is secure before we proceed."
Sam nodded and continued outlining the plan. He paused, expecting Bucky to reconfirm, but noticed a change in his leader's face. The harsh lines softened, his eyes filled with a tender warmth, as he stared intently at something across the room. Before Sam could look or utter a word, Bucky turned and walked away with determination.
Sam followed Bucky's gaze and understood immediately. "Ah, that's why," he muttered to himself as he watched Bucky approach Y/N. The change in Buckyâs demeanour was striking. He moved with a grace and warmth that was at odds with his usual stern and imposing presence.
Buckyâs eyes softened as he took in the sight of Y/N. He admired her beauty with a gaze filled with awe and adoration. The way he looked at her was as if he was seeing a vision he had longed for, a rare and precious gem that had finally come into his life.
As he extended his hand toward her, a gesture usually seen as etiquette but now entirely with different meaning, especially with the hearts bursting our of his blue eyes. Y/Nâs face lighting up with a shy smile, took his hand; almost too eagerly. Bucky's fingers closed gently around hers, his touch tender and reassuring. The contrast between his usual, fearsome reputation and the gentle way he interacted with her was profound, making it clear that his feelings for Y/N were deeply genuine.
Bucky kissed the back of her hand, his lips softly caressing her knuckles. "My dear," he greeted her, using the endearment he had chosen when they first met at the altar.Â
The scene seemed like it was pulled raw from a romance novel that the surrounding staff and knights simply watched in shock and awe. "Did he just..." one knight whispered, eyes wide. "Called her 'my dear'?" another finished, equally stunned.
Sam, who had witnessed firsthand the monstrous side of Bucky in war, found himself in a state of utter disbelief, jaw dropped loose. He had seen Buckyâs sword painted blood-red, his face splattered with the gore of countless enemies. The Winter Soldier was a force of nature on the battlefield, his brutal efficiency leaving a trail of carnage in his wake. Sam recalled the sight of Buckyâs cold, unyielding eyes as he cut through foes without hesitation, his armor and weaponry gleaming with the blood of those who dared oppose him.
And yet, here he was, the same man who had struck terror into the hearts of many, now standing before Y/N with a tenderness that seemed unimaginable. Sam could hardly believe his eyes. The disparity was pronounced and bewildering. Buckyâs expression was soft, his movements gentle as he held Y/Nâs hand in his.
âIâve missed you,â Y/N said softly, her eyes shining with affection. She truly did, it would be a lie that she didnât felt the ache in her heart when she woke up alone that morning. The emptiness beside her had felt profound. The bed still carried his scent, a lingering warmth that whispered of his recent presence. Even though the separation had been brief, as evidenced by the thoughtful note and the bouquet of her favourite flowers he had left behind, the loneliness she felt was palpable. His absence, however fleeting, had created a void that left her feeling incomplete.
Buckyâs heart seemed to burst with emotion. He couldn't care less about the gawking staff surrounding them as he pulled her close and kissed her deeply. She initially froze, caught off guard and embarrassed, but soon melted into his kiss with a blossoming confidence.
As their lips met, memories of their tender and passionate night together surged through Bucky's mind. The way she moan his name, the taste of her cum, the tightness of her pussy gripping on his cock, the way his cum leaked out of her, every single sinful scene replayed in head; infinitely. The intensity of the moment was overwhelming, and he found himself nearly losing control. Reluctantly, he pulled back from the kiss, his breath uneven and his gaze filled with an unspoken hunger.
"God, what should I do with you, hmm, sweetheart?" Bucky whispered, his voice laced with seduction as he continued to place gentle kisses along her cheeks and jaw. His lips brushed softly against her skin, whispering how much he had missed her and expressing a wistful desire to stay wrapped in the warmth of their shared bed just a little longer.
Y/Nâs soft giggle rang out as she felt the roughness of his stubble against her delicate skin. The sound was like music to Bucky's ears, brightening his mood and filling him with a profound sense of joy. Despite the joyful exchange, he reluctantly ended the sweet torment, his kisses lingering just a moment longer before he pulled away.
âWe should be ready to begin our journey shortly,â Bucky said, his tone shifting to a more practical note when e turned to Sam, who had approached during their moment of intimacy.
âY/N, this is Sam Wilson, he is one of my trusted knights.â Bucky introduced, his gaze shifting to his wife. Sam gave a respectful nod to Y/N, a hint of surprise still evident in his expression from witnessing Bucky's affectionate display. âItâs a pleasure to meet you, Lady Y/N.â
Y/N smiled warmly at Sam, appreciating the introduction. âThe pleasure is mine, Sir Wilson.â
Sam, sensing that the formality was unnecessary given their imminent interactions, decided to ease the situation. âJust Sam, my lady,â he said with a friendly tone. Y/N repeated his name with a touch of amusement. âWell, itâs nice to meet you, Sam.â
Bucky, observing the growing camaraderie between his wife and his trusted knight, couldnât help but feel a twinge of protectiveness. The easy familiarity between them seemed a bit too casual for his liking. His eyes narrowed slightly as he gave Sam a warning look. âWatch it, Wilson.â
Sam, not missing a beat, chuckled at Buckyâs protective demeanour. âWhatâs the matter, my lord? Canât handle a bit of friendly conversation?â
Y/N, noticing the playful tension and Buckyâs slight irritation, couldnât help but laugh. The contrast between Buckyâs usually soft demeanour that Y/N had witnessed and his current protective stance were both endearing and amusing. Her laughter lightened the mood, making Samâs teasing even more enjoyable.
Bucky's stern gaze softened as he watched Y/Nâs laughter, though his protective instinct remained palpable. Steering the conversion back to the preparations, he allowed a faint smile to tug at the corners of his mouth despite his earlier warning.
âI trust you can escort my wife to the carriage,â Bucky said, his voice serious but tinged with a hint of a smile. âHowever, I expect you to maintain proper distance and adhere to these additional guidelines.â He paused, ensuring his words were clear. âNo unnecessary physical contact or overly familiar behaviour. And if you could, avoid any casual conversations that might be misinterpreted.â
Sam looked at Bucky in disbelief, shaking his head with a bemused expression. âSeriously, Barnes? Youâre laying down rules for me to keep my distance from your wife now?â
Buckyâs eyes narrowed playfully. âConsider it a precaution. Iâd rather not have any misunderstandings.â Sam chuckled, rolling his eyes as he complied. âUnderstood. Iâll make sure to follow your... guidelines.â
Y/N watched the exchange with amusement, her earlier shyness melting away into a warm appreciation for Buckyâs protectiveness. The scene, tinged with a touch of comedy, only deepened the connection between them.
Bucky, intent on making a point to Sam while expressing his affection, pulled Y/N close and pressed a tender kiss to her forehead. The gesture was both intimate and deliberate, a subtle yet clear indication to Sam that she belongs to Bucky. âIâll join you shortly, my dear,â Bucky said softly, his voice filled with warmth as he gazed into her eyes.
Sam, unimpressed by Buckyâs display, rolled his eyes at the seemingly childish antics. âThis way, my lady,â he said with a hint of impatience. Y/N nodded in agreement but paused before turning her back on Bucky. With a loving smile, she whispered, âIâll see you later,â before following Sam.
Bucky watched as Sam guided Y/N away, his gaze lingered with a mix of affection and something much deeper; an unspoken sadness. As their silhouettes walked further and further away from his sight, a sombre glaze settled over his eyes.
Beneath the surface of his composed exterior, his heart ached; the was a silent reflection of a pain he had hidden deep within his heart. It was a lingering sorrow that had shadowed him ever since he stood at the altar, the weight of unvoiced grief clinging to him as he gazed at his future bride.
Part II >>
Read my other works here: Masterlist
A/N: Wondering why he was in the feels at the end? Weâll know it soon enough. Iâll see you in the next parts! Thank you for reading!
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Why is it that everytime I search for a certain thing I GET THE OPPOSITE. I SEARCHED FOR ANGST NOT SMUT, I WANT ANGST. I AKSED FOR SMUT NOT FUCKING FLUFF AND SHIT đĄđĄđĄđĄ please update your system tumblr I beg of you
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His Flower.
~ gif not mine credit to owner ~
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader
Summary: Bucky and Y/n have known each other since they were babies, they love each other but donât say anything until Bucky goes to war.
Word count: 11,963
Warnings: angst. fluff. mentions of cheating (not Bucky) mentions of domestic abuse. Swearing. Steve never visits Peggy when sheâs old. Bucky knew about Steve getting the serum. Pregnancy. Sad Bucky (thatâs a warning in itself) Bucky was accused of the bombing in Vienna in 2015 in this. Blip happens but none of the avengers get blipped nor do any of them die. Thereâs a lotâŚso if Iâve missed anything please let me know
Masterlist
May 21st 1922
âY/n stop running!â
âNoâ
âWhy?â
âYou have the lurgyâ
Winnie and Y/m/n was standing in the shared courtyard laughing at the two five year olds as James ran after Y/n, the latter running as fast as her little legs could move.
The two women became friends rather quickly after Y/n, her mom and dad moved in next door just when Y/n was a year old. Baby James and Y/n spent everyday since they were introduced to each other, together.
âThose twoâŚâ Winnie laughed with a shake of her head as James finally grabs ahold of Y/n, her screams of laughter makes both mothers laugh along.
That was until the screams of laughter turns in to screams of pain.
James tripped over a loose concrete slab, in turn knocking into Y/n causing her to fall face first on the ground. Smacking her face and cracking her tooth.
âI-I-Iâm sor-sorry Y/n Iâm sorryâ James cried backing up as their mothers came rushing over. His tiny hands shook as tears streamed down his puffy cheeks, he could see the blood flowing from her lips when her mom picked her up.
âMo-momma it wa-was acciden-t I promiseâ
âI know sweetie, itâs okayâ Winnie said after she helped her friend. Seeing her son shaking and crying as he backs up to the wall furthest away from them broke her heart, she and Y/m/n knew it was an accident and they both knew that James would never hurt his friend.
âI-it was accidentâ he hiccuped.
âWanâ Jamie, mama wanâ Jamieâ
Hearing her teary voice he pushed himself off the wall and ran around his ma going straight to Y/n. âI got youâ whispering in to her hair as he wraps his arms around her.
December 24th 1922
As the fire crackled next to James and Y/n as they played with his toy trains and cars Y/nâs parents argued in the kitchen, from what Y/n could tell from this latest argument was that her dad had been fucking another woman. Again.
âJamie what fucking mean?â
âI donât know. I think it makes you cryâ
âMama always cries when dada fucking other womenâ
James shrugs, honestly feeling a little bit scared because of the raised voices and things being slammed down on the counters though he was just five years old he was trying to be brave in front of his friend.
The voices got louder as Y/nâs mom was pushing her dad into the hallway, screaming at him that this was the last time and for him to never come back. A photo frame that hung up on the wall falls and smashes loudly on the floor causing James to flinch, Y/n notices and takes his hand in hers smiling - sheâs grown accustomed to the bangs, screaming matches and things being broken that it doesnât bother her anymore.
James flinched once again when the front door opens and slams shut with a deafening bang. His scared wide eyes looked at Y/nâs, she gets up and moves to sit next to him as her mom screams once more and stomps up the stairs no doubt to chuck all of her fathers clothes out of the window.
âI got youâ
She promised as she wraps her small arms around his body.
March 10th 1923
âHAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMIEâ
Y/n screamed as she ran over to him, she was so excited for his birthday she had made him a card and got him a new wooden train.
âAhhh who are you little monster?â He screamed when she jumped on his back.
ââM not a monsterâ
âYou areâ
âNotâ
âAreâ
âKids stop arguing, youâre both monstersâ Winnie laughed hugging Y/m/n.
âItâs my birthday Flowerâ
âNo itâs my birthdayâ
âNo it isnâtâ
Both moms roll their eyes as the kids continue to argue, heading into the kitchen leaving both of them to stand in the hallway arguing.
Y/m/n was sipping the coffee that Winnie had made her, Winnie expressed how happy she was for her friend for not taking back her husband, though finding it sad that he hadnât been around to see Y/n. Luckily George stepped up and had even brought the five year old a present for Christmas.
âMama where is present?â Y/n asked running up to her mom.
âHere sweetie and hereâs the card you madeâ handing over the present and card, Y/n smiled and thanked her.
âHere you go Jamie. I made the card all by myself!â
âThank you Flowerâ opening the card he smiles at her messy handwriting and the drawing of him and her that she drew. James gave her a kiss on her cheek before handing the card over to Winnie, then he opened the brown paper wrapping. âFlowerâŚâ
âItâs a train Jamieâ
âI-thank you so much!â James had his other one stolen from Jimmy who lived across the street, mean kid who loved to bully younger kids.
âItâs okay. Do you like it?â
âI love it Flowerâ
June 2nd 1930
James and Y/n were walking down the street talking about how school went when James grabbed her hand causing her to pull it away and blush, giggling when he tried to grab her again.
âFlower stop, listen do you hear that?â
âNo-wait now I do, what is it? Do you think itâs an animal? Can we keep it?â
âYeah because animals can speakâ he rolls his eyes, moving towards the entrance of the alleyway where the noise was coming from he turned to Y/n âstay here-â
âNo Iâm coming with you!â
âNo youâre not. Just stay hereâ
Nodding in defeat Y/n watched him walk down the alleyway, a few minutes later she sees Jimmy and his goons running out and down the street. Running in the direction that James went she came to a halt when she saw him picking up a guy who was a lot smaller than him.
âJamie whoâs that?â
âFlower I told you stay where I told you toâ
âWho is that?â
âM-my names Steveâ the blonde said fixing his shirt.
âHello Steve my names Y/n and this is Jamesâ moving closer to them she held her hand out to the blonde, turning to James âcan we keep him?â
âY/n heâs not an animalâ
âBut can we? We can be best friends forever and ever and ever and-â
âIâm sorry about her, she gets a bit excited sometimesâ James said to Steve both watching Y/n go bright red as she continued to say âand everâ. âFlower breathâ
âAnd ever and ever, please Jamie can we keep him Iâll be good forever and ever and ever-â
âDo you want to be our friend? Please say yes just to shut this one upâ
Steve looked at both of them debating whether or not this was a prank, heâd gotten so use to being alone that the prospect of having two new friends scared him. But he could see the hopeful look in Y/nâs and Jamesâs eyes, maybe just maybe this wasnât a prank and maybe they genuinely want to be his friend.
âSoâŚâ Y/n asked getting impatient.
âO-ok, yes Iâll be your friendâ
âAmazing! Come on weâre going to Mollys to get a burger-â
âAnd a milkshake! Have you ever been to Mollys? They make the best milkshake ever donât they Jamie, they do so Stevie I swearâ
âI apologise for herâ James started.
Steve just smiled and shook his head âitâs okay bu-but I donât have any money so I canât come with youâ
âDonât worry about it Stevie Iâll pay for you. My fatherâs dead so we got moneyâ Steveâs eyes went wide at how nonchalantly Y/n said that her father was dead.
âI-Iâm sorry-â
âDonât be I didnât like him, so what milkshake do you want? They have vanilla, chocolate and strawberry. My favourite is strawberry and chocolate and Jamies is chocolateâ
âOh I-Iâve never had-â
James rolled his eyes as he knew what was coming. Steve looked at him wondering what he had said wrong when Y/n loudly gasped and threw herself on the ground.
âFlower-â
âHe. Has. Never. Had. Milkshake. Before. Jamieâ
âI know-â
âI-how, how does this even happen?â
âYou going to get off the floor?â
âI canâtâ
James leans over to take her hand in his and helped her stand. âNext time donât throw yourself on the ground, your ma will get mad at you for ruining your skirt againâ
âCome on Steve Iâm going to blow your mind with the best milkshake in the worldâ ignoring Jamesâs words she grabbed Steveâs hand and started to drag him to Mollys.
âFlower stop dragging him and be careful!â
To be truthful Steve didnât honestly mind that she was dragging him along the pavement, he was quite excited about trying something new.
âSooo whatcha think?â Y/n asked as soon as the glass was put in front of him.
âFlower he hasnât even tried it yetâ James laughed though he did have to admit that he was also wondering what his new friend was going to think of the drink.
Taking the straw in his mouth he took slow sips, liking the way it tasted straight away. âItâs good, I like itâ
âYes!â Y/n screamed causing some of the customers to look at her, not like she cared.
Luanne came over to serve them, she was an older lady who had grown use to the antics that James and Y/n liked to cause. As soon as she saw the two coming down the street she always had their milkshakes at the ready, knowing that on Monday, Tuesday and Friday Y/n had strawberry and the other days chocolate.
âYour usual darlings?â
âYes please, Stevie what do you want?â
âI-I donât have mo-â
âItâs on me I told you. We get burger and fries and they are the bestâ
âI-are you sure?â
âThe best ever I promiseâ
âN-no about buying me foodâŚyouâve already brought me a drinkâ
âDonât be silly, do you want the same at us?â
âOkay, thank youâ
Luanne smiled and walked away back to behind the counter. Steve watched as James or Bucky as he told him to call him, put his arm around Y/nâs shoulder and point at someone walking down the street. He couldnât help but smile when Y/n laughed at whatever Bucky had said.
The food had come and true to her word it was amazing, Luanne came back over to hand them new drinks winking at Y/n who winked back, he found out that the second milkshakes were free. For the first time in Steveâs life he laughed and smiled genuinely, he had no idea that being beat up in some dingy alleyway would lead him to be making two new friends who actually seemed like they cared about him already.
Steve knew he had made two friends for life.
14th February 1931
âHey Stevieâ Y/n sang as she skipped up to him.
âHey Y/n/n you still doing that?â Referring to her skipping, it was a new phase she was going through. Every where she went she skipped.
âOf courseâ she giggled.
âWhereâs Bucky?â
âWith his girlfriendâ she grumbled. Poor James thought his best friend liked his girlfriend but Steve observant as always knew that this was indeed not the case.
âYo-you still donât like her I guess?â
âNo. Are you okay? Is your eczema play-â
âAsthma, Y/n I have asthmaâ
âOh yeah ah, is it playing up today?â Receiving a nod she nods too. âHow about we walk super slow so you can catch your breathâ
âI-I need to g-get back to home, n-need to help ma cle-clean upâ
âThatâs okay Iâll help you and your mom I donât mindâ
âA-ar-are you sure?â
âOf course, plus Iâve missed your momâ
Arriving at the Rogersâs residence Sarah greeted Y/n with a tight hug and a kiss to her cheek happy to see the young girl again. Ten minutes into cleaning Y/n told Steve to sit down as his asthma was getting worse, Sarah tried to help out but Y/n just shook her head and told her that it was fine.
She truly didnât mind helping in cleaning up, she had grown use to having to do it at home since her mom was always working and her step father was too lazy and drunk most of the time to do it.
A year after kicking her father out of the house for the last time her mom got divorced from him as he was wanting to marry the woman he had been cheating on her with. Unfortunately her mom married another lazy man who only thought of himself.
But her mom was happy so Y/n was happy for her.
When her father died for some reason her mom received all his money. Which it had annoyed his new wife tremendously.
âItâs getting late darling, you should head home-oh just before you go hereâs some mon-â
âNo need to Mrs Sarah, Iâll see you tomorrow Stevieâ
Waving goodbye and leaving the house before Sarah could argue about giving her money, skipping down the street she didnât realise how dark it was when she was in the warm home that belonged to the Rogers.
As she got closer to home she came to a stop when she heard strange noises come from an alleyway, choosing to inspect the sounds she crept down the dark path, furrowing her eyebrows at hearing two different voices she was about to pop her head around before freezing.
âOh Buckyâ a girl moaned.
Slapping her hand across her mouth she started to stumble back. Of course she knew that James was going to be having sex, he was handsome and every girl wanted him, and of course she knew what they was doing she wasnât stupid but hearing what followed after the girl moaned broke her heart.
He called his girlfriend Flower.
The name that he had always called her he was now calling someone else it. It was her nickname that he gave her since they was four and now he was calling some girl he had been dating for two months her name.
It broke her heart.
For three weeks she had managed to successfully avoid James she knew it was silly for not talking to her best friend over a nickname that he had every right to call someone else but she just couldnât help but feel down knowing that she wasnât his flower anymore.
âY/n, Bucky and Steveâs here for youâ her mom shouted from the door, she could hear her talking to them from where she was stood at from the top of the stairs.
Her heart dropped when her mom told both boys just to head up to her room. Scrambling and knocking over her little brother she ran into her room, shutting the door quietly before jumping on the springy mattress causing the metal bed frame to squeak loudly.
âKnock knock little monsterâ she could hear the smile in his voice.
âCome inâ and she also knew that he would be frowning at her response, it wasnât the usual one she gave him.
âHi Flowerâ if he noticed her tensing he didnât say anything about it.
âHi Y/n/nâ
âHi boys. What are you doing here?â
âMissed you, you havenât been around muchâ James said watching her reaction.
âIâve been busyâ she shrugged. It wasnât a total lie but wasnât the whole truth either.
âDoing?â James knew that she was lying, whenever she did she could never look him in the eyes.
âThingsâ
âWhat kind of things?â
âThings James! I do not understand why you are so noseyâ
âBecause I miss my Flowerâ stating it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He frowned when she flinched at his nickname for her. âW-what was that for? Why did you flinchâ
âI-I donât know what your talking aboutâ
âYou flinched when I called you Flowerâ
âYou did Y/nâ Steve interrupted, he did hate having to come in between his best friends but he knew that if he didnât it would probably go on and on.
âI-â sighing with a huff she shrugged her shoulders. She knew James better than anyone she knew he wasnât going to give up any time soon. âI heard youâ
âHeard me? What are you talking about?â
âCalling your girlfriend Flowerâ
âI-Iâve never-â
âIn the alleyway when you were having sexâ
Steve shifted awkwardly on his feet whilst James stood still like a statue. He couldnât understand what the problem was, so what he was having sex at least it was with his girlfriend, why would his best friend be upset about that?
âYou called her Flower James.â
Oh. Oh shit.
âI-you-it-â
âWhatever itâs just a nickname right? Iâm sorry that I havenât spoken to you in weeks but it hurt Jamie, but sheâs your girlfriend-â
âI broke up with herâ
âRightâŚso can we be friends again?â
âArenât you going to ask me why I broke up with her?â
âNo. I just want to be your flower againâ
âYouâve always have been Y/n, nobody will take that away from youâ
Sliding off the bed she jumped on James, wrapping her arms and legs around him hugging him like she had never done before.
Yes it hurt because he had called someone else the name he had given her but she realised she was being silly for not talking to him over it, he was her best friend as well as Steve and thatâs all that mattered.
December 10th 1941
The Second World War had been going on for three years and now America was getting involved after the attack on Pearl Harbour, itâs all everyone spoke about, before there was young men leaving their homes and families to go over to Britain to help fight, a fight they had no reason to be apart off other than to help beat the bad guys, now no one had a choice but to fight.
When James told Y/n that he too enlisted in the army it crushed her heart, she knew he was doing it to help defend his country but that didnât stop her from being scared. Scared of losing him.
âI can do this all dayâ Steve panted as the guy tried to get closer to him and Y/n. Y/n couldnât help but roll her eyes at Steveâs confidence, she knew that he could not in fact do this all day. His asthma was getting the better of him.
Just as Steve was about to leap forward to defend himself and Y/n the guy was pulled away by the scruff of his jacket.
âPick on someone your own sizeâ James kicked the guy away, watching as the bully scramble away.
Y/n and Steve stood there frozen on the spot at seeing James dressed in his uniform.
It was really happening. She was going to lose her best friend.
âWhy are you wearing that?â
âBecause Iâm a pirate. Iâve been recruited Flower, I ship out tomorrowâ though James had a smile on his face his stomach churned at reminding himself of when he was going to fight, churned at not knowing when he was going to see his Flower or Steve again or if he ever would.
âTomorrow? T-thatâs not enough time-no Jamie you canât-â
âI have to Y/n-â
âTell them no.â
âYou want me to tell the US Army no?â
âYesâ
âFlowerâ
âOr Iâll do it if your to chickenâ
âChicken? Really?â
âGuys stop arguing.â Steve tried to intervene but it was too late. He watched as his two best friends argued back and forth, feeling annoyed at the fact that he had been rejected once again no matter what name he used or what area he said he was from. And yet his best friend had been accepted by the Army and was allowed to go and fight against the bad guys.
âAnyway come on, weâre going to the Stark Expoâ
What James failed to mention to the pair that he had a date with Connie or was it Bonnie? He couldnât actually remember but whoever he was going on a date with the other girl was for Steve, he felt slightly bad that Y/n would have to be fifth wheeling even if he knew that she would end up leaving under the arm of some guy.
â-so I told him that he had to look after his own children you know? And guess what he said to me-Stevie? Ste-not againâ Y/n muttered when she realised that not only had she been talking to herself for god knows how long, but when she turned around she saw the small frame of her best friend going into a recruiting tent that was set up at the Expo.
Following after him she watched as he went into a small makeshift room, entering she laughed when Steve tried to cover his naked chest.
âSteve seriously? You canât keep doing this-â
âWhy not? I can fight, just because Iâm smaller then everyone including you doesnât mean that I canât helpâ
âYouâd be killed straight away Steven!â
âSo what?â
âSo what? Steve-â
âIâve agreed to be part of a science project for a doctor-â
âA science project? Steve what the hell are you talking about?â
âI-it doesnât matter what does matter is that Iâve been accepted and Iâm going to warâ
âNo. I forbid you from goingâ
âForbid me?â Steve scoffed finding her behaviour stupid. He wanted to do that right thing and she was forbidding it. Ridiculous. âYou canât stop me Y/nâ
âI-I donât want to lose you tooâ
âWhat are you talking about? Buck will be fineâ
âHe might not Steve you donât know this. I canât-donât want to lose my best friends please just stay with me here an-and wait for Ja-â
âNo Y/n Iâm doing this! Stop being selfishâ
Being called selfish had whatever response she was going to reply back with to die on her tongue. Y/n was called selfish time and time again by her step father when she wouldnât look after her siblings, his children. She had grown to detest that word, hated to be called it which James and Steve knew.
Steve instantly knew that he had messed up but before he could apologise he watched his best friend nod, spin on her heels and walked out.
James looked around with a smile on his lips when the flying car got higher off the ground frowning when he didnât see Flower or Steve, his eyes darted around to find them, his left eye twitched slightly when he saw Y/n coming out of the recruiting tent he knew she had probably tried to talk to Steve out of signing up.Â
Ever since the war was declared Steve had become slightly obsessed with going on the front lines along with the rest of the heroâs and fight. James and Y/n took it in turns to get Steve away from the recruiting centres, took it in turns comforting him when he got turned down because of his health problems.
Leaving the girls where they were he went to find Steve to see what had happened. âSteve seriously man just give upâ
âDonât start Buck Iâve had enough of Y/n trying to stop me.â Steve told Bucky how Dr Erskine had given him the opportunity of joining the war to the whole conversation between him and Y/n, he quietly told his best friend that he had called their friend selfish.
âYou called her selfish? Steve!â
âI know okay I know I messed up but-â
âDid she say where she was going?â
âNo, I thought she was going to find youâ
Bucky goes to reply when he gets interrupted by the two girls that he and Steve were meant to be on a date with, asking if they were still going dancing, James sighed before telling them no he had other plans. The girls wasnât happy but James didnât care, he needed to find his Flower.
Saying his goodbyes to Steve he turned on his heels to go to Y/nâs house.
Knocking on the door he waited patiently for someone to open, Y/nâs little sister opened and smiled instantly showing Bucky her missing front teeth. âY/ns in her roomâ
âThanks little oneâ
ââM not little anymore!â She pouted, the same pout that reminded him of Y/nâs when she was younger.
âNo, no youâre notâ ruffling her hair he laughed when she tried to hit him, heâs always had a habit of winding up their younger siblings.
Bounding up the stairs nearly tripping over the toy train that belonged to her younger brother he turned the corner and knocked on Y/nâs bedroom door.
âGo awayâ
âWow thatâs rude Flowerâ
âJamie?â
âWho else is calling you flower?â
âNo oneâ
âAre you going let me in or we going to keep talking with a door in between us?â
âYou may enterâ
Entering her bedroom his heart clenched in his chest at seeing her eyes and cheeks red, tear strained track marks on her puffy cheeks. Ever since they were young heâs always hated seeing her cry.
His stomach dropping when he sees the photograph in her hands, knowing exactly which one it was. James had dragged Y/n and Steve to Coney Island for the day, James made Steve go on the Cyclone which was absolutely terrifying yet amazing at the same time. Steve didnât quite enjoy it like Bucky or Y/n as he vomited pretty much everywhere.
Winnie, had taken the photo that morning they were standing outside the home James grew up in, smiling at the camera. Y/n in the middle of the two guys, Bucky had his arm around her shoulder and she had hers around Steve.
It was the only photo she had of the three of them.
âFlowerâŚâ
âHeâs leaving me too, a doctor-a scientist has told him that he can join if he takes part in an experiment James. I-I donât want to lose you both Jamieâ
âHey-hey your not losing either one of us doll-â
âBut I am. This war is dangerous and if I lose either one of you I-I-â
âI promise you that Iâll come back-â
âYou canât promise me that Buckâ
âIâm with you âtil the end of the line, you know this. And Iâll always come back to you Y/n, always. Especially if you let me make an honest woman out of youâ his voice went quieter, serious, hopeful that she would hear the genuine words that he spoke.
âYouâŚwant to-after going on a date with someone else on your last night of freedom-want to make an honest woman out of me?â
âI, yes. Y/n flower itâs always been youâ
âI should be the one making an honest woman out of you-wait-what?â
He couldnât help but chuckle at her facial expression when she finally registers his words âIâve been in love with you for so long Y/nâ
âAnd youâre telling me this the night before you ship off to god knows where?â
âYou know me Flower, Iâve always been good with timingâ
âYou really arenâtâ she laughed.
âAm too. But what do you say? When I get back Iâll marry you, get us a nice house maybe on a farm? We can have all the animals you want-yes even a dinosaur even though they donât exist-and weâll have children, and we can be happy foreverâ
âY-you really want that with me?â
âThereâs no one else in this world that I want that life with Flowerâ
Instead of verbally answering she threw herself into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and nodding so fast Bucky thought her head might fall off. Bucky held her face in between his hands just staring at her, he knew that she would never see herself in the same way he has always seen her, he lent in pressing his lips to hers hopefully being able to show her how much he loved her without saying those words out loud.
That night they slept arm in arm with one another both equally dreading for the sun to come up.
When the sun finally made an appearance, he left with the promise that he would be back in an hour so that their families could walk him to the docks, and not without stealing another kiss from her.
Hand in hand an hour later with Winnie, Rebecca, Y/m/n, Y/nâs stepdad and siblings met up with Steve who was waiting outside Mollys with three milkshakes. Everyone walked ahead whilst the three best friends walked slowly behind them, wanting to try and delay the inevitable.
âMy promise still stands Flower, Iâll come home and weâll have the perfect life together. I promiseâ
âYou best come home to me then Jamie or Iâll beat you upâ
âWouldnât doubt that for a secondâ he chuckled, everyone else joins in. âI promise to be safe and come home to you Flower. And Iâll write to you when I can okay?â
âIâll write back to you I promise.â
When the last signal called for all soldiers to get on the ship, Bucky swallowed the sob that tried to make its way out of his plumb lips. Hugging his ma and sister one last time, and his best friends mom and siblings before making his way to Steve, hugging Steve he asked the blonde to look after Y/n which Steve promised he would. Standing in front of Y/n he smiled sadly and wiped her tears away before kissing her one last time, heâd already grown addicted to the way she tasted and the way her lips fit perfectly against his.
He couldnât wait until he got back so he could spend the rest of his life kissing her.
March 15th 1942
âY/n thereâs a letter here for you!â Her little sister shouted from the bottom of the stairs, there was only one person that would be writing to her, hearing her sister she fell out of the bed with how fast she was trying to get out of it, running down the stairs she grabbed the letter out of her sisters hand.
âY/n slow downâ her mom tried to warn her but it was no use she was already running back upstairs. The excitement getting the better of her. Ripping open the envelope she settled back on her bed.
***
Dear Flower,
Itâs been three months since I last saw you and Iâm missing you more and more everyday, how are you? Have you been missing me? Howâs Steve been? Iâve wrote to him too but I know youâll tell me the truth.
Iâm still holding on to my promise I made so donât be finding any other man, please.
Iâm sorry itâs not the longest letter but I donât have much time, Iâm sorry.
I love you Flower, I should have told you that the last time I saw you but just know I do with all my heart, Iâll see you soon.
All my love
Your Jamie.
***
âSoâŚwhat did he say?â Y/n was so engrossed in the letter she didnât hear her bedroom door squeak open or see her mom and sister standing in the doorway.
âH-he said he loves me, momma he loves meâ
âHave you only just noticed?â
âWhat?â
âThat boy has been in love with you for as long as I can recallâ her mom said as matter of factly.
âI-I need paper a-an-and a pen I need to tell him that I love him tooâ
Her mom smiled before handing her a piece of paper and a pen that she hid behind her back, she even gave her money so she could get a stamp to put on the letter.
***
Dear Jamie,
I love you.
Iâve been doing good, helping down at the factory with the rest of the women itâs good, Iâve made a friend her names Dot her husband is also fighting, sheâs got two kids and Jamie they are the cutest little kids Iâve seen! Of course I have been missing you Jamie! Steveâs doing okay, heâs got a crush on a British woman names Peggy (but donât tell him I told you that) sheâs pretty, smart and really nice. I think she likes him too!
No other man will take me away from you Jamie I promise, I canât wait to marry you and be able to wind you up for the rest of our lives together, Iâm joking. Or am I?
Donât apologise for your letter being short, anything is better than not having any from you, as long as you are okay and safe thatâs all that matters to me.
I love you with all my heart to Jamie, honestly and truly.
Be safe and come home to me.
All my love
Your Flower.
***
Folding the letter and sliding it in an envelope her mom had given her when she was writing, she slipped her letter into the envelope sealing it off she ran downstairs slipping her shoes on she ran out of the house and down the street to the post office.
âA-a s-stamp pl-pleaseâ she panted at the worker.
The second the stamp was sealed securely on her envelope she posted it. Her heart raising rapidly, the temptation to just stand there and wait for the mailman to collect all the letters was there until someone cleared their throat from behind her.
âSorry, Iâm sorryâ she muttered before leaving, now she just had to wait now until Bucky wrote her back. Shouldnât be too long. Hopefully.
June 21st 1943
She last received a letter from James three months ago, he told her where he was and how he was doing, told her all about his comrades, told her that heâd come back to her. Ended that letter like the rest, with him telling her how much he loved her. Writing back as quickly as possible she told him how things were going, telling him about her news friends from the factory, and like all the others she ended it with telling him how much she loved him.
Everyday for three months she waited patiently for a letter to come, sighing deeply when she never received one. She was starting to get nervous at the prospect of something bad happening to him, but she kept pushing that thought away as she saw Rebecca everyday at the factory and she hadnât said anything to her.
Six months after James left for war Y/n moved to a small apartment above the post office, it was small but enough for just her. One night after finishing her shift at the factory, Mary who worked at the post office came running out to her handing her a letter, Y/n ran up the stairs struggled to open her front door like always before she managed to get it to open, quickly closing and locking the door - keeping her promise to James who had made her promise to keep her front door locked at all times.
***
Dear Flower,
Iâve missed you terribly. How are you? I hope youâre okay and safe.
Howâs Steve doing? Heâs not been really responding to my letters. Iâm a bit worried about him.
Iâm sorry my letters are getting shorter, itâs just things have been hectic lately.
Youâre in my thoughts and prayers every day and night, Iâll come home soon and Iâm all yours forever I promise.
I love you more than anything Y/n.
All my love
Your Jamie.
***
Wiping her tears she moved to get her paper and pen, settling on her couch she started to write.
***
Dear Jamie,
Iâm missing you more and more every day, Iâm doing okay and Iâm safe, you do not need to worry about me just as long as you are safe and sound thatâs all that matters to me.
Steve will be getting the serum tomorrow (22nd June) Iâm scared for him but Peggy has told me that everything will be okay. Sheâs even said I can come along too, Rebecca has said she will cover my shift because sheâs an angel. Steveâs been busy but heâs okay I promise, ohâŚhe jumped on a grenade BUT donât worry it wasnât a real one! I screamed and cried when Peggy told me, then I smacked SteveâŚhe deserved it.
Iâve already told you not to worry about the shortness of your letters, I reread every single one of them over and over again.
Youâre in my thoughts and prayers day in and day out.
I love you more and more than youâll ever know.Â
All my love
Your Flower.
***
Sealing the letter in the envelope she unlocked the door and skipped downstairs where Mary unlocked the door and handed her a stamp, Mary knew the routine that Y/n had every time she got a letter that she waited long after closing so her new friend could post it that same day.
âThanks Maryâ
âDonât need to thank me, how is he?â
âHe didnât sayâŚbut he said he misses me, itâs hectic over there soâ
âItâs understandable, are you meeting Steve and that Brit tomorrow?â
âPeggy-â Y/n laughed â-and yes, itâs a very big day tomorrowâ
âWhatâs happened again?â
âH-he has a special operation and Iâm just going for emotional supportâ she smiled, Peggy told her not to say anything to anyone but Mary had overheard Y/n talking to Steve about it. So she told her Mary that it was an operation he was having.
âWell I hope it goes well. Iâll see you tomorrow, goodnight darlingâ
The next morning Y/n waited outside for Steve and Peggy to show up, nearly ten minutes later a sleek black car pulled up and Peggy got out greeting her. Instantly regretting sitting in the middle of two people who were flirting, made worse by Steve as he didnât realise that Peggy was in fact flirting.
Just like the car ride Y/n blanked out most of what Dr Erskine was waffling on about, her eyes kept going to the bed where Steve lay strapped in to Howard Stark, still slightly star struck.
Everything happened next was lost on her. Her heart raced when she heard Steve screaming in the chamber, a beast of a man was released from said chamber it looked like Steve, her best friend Stevie but this guy was huge. Strong. Muscly. Taller.
Before Steve had to look up to her and now it was the other way around. He said her name and smiled, he pulled her into his arms as she gaped at her best friendâs transformation. Steve released her to look at Peggy as she moved closer.
The unmistakable bang of a gun firing sounded in the room, Steve wasted no time in knocking Y/n on the ground covering her body with his. Dr Erskine had been shot, Steve took off barefoot after the gunman, Y/nâs hands were drenched in blood as she tried to put pressure on the wound, Howard Stark helping her by covering his hands over hers.
It all happened in a blur.
It all happened to fast.
She didnât like it, she was scared.
She wanted Jamie.
She was always safe with her Jamie.
âY/n? Y/n look at me love, itâs Peggy. I need you to concentrateâ
But she couldnât. There was too much blood. There was chaos in the background and the only thing she could focus on was the shaking of her hands covered in someone elseâs blood.
âY/n please darling snap out of itâ that sounded a lot like Howard she thought to herself.
She could hear them talking then she saw Howard standing and moving away slowly. Then everything came into focus. The look of distress in Peggyâs eyes, the destruction of the room, the white sheet covering a body.
âS-Steve?â
âHeâs, heâs okay. We need to go loveâ
âI-I-I want Jamieâ
âI know but he isnât here right now an-and he will be rather mad at me if I donât get you out of here, so please follow meâ
Despite the blood on Y/nâs hands Peggy still took them in hers and helped her stand, although Peggy didnât really know Y/n all that well she knew that Steve cared deeply for her, making her care about the woman. Her main focus was getting Y/n to safety and then she could worry about everything else.
December 10th 1944
Itâs been well over a year since Y/n watched Dr Erskine get shot and killed, in that year she went back to work in the factory. Nothing really changed for her in that year that had gone by, months would go by without a letter from Bucky she knew that he was still alive as his family wasnât informed to state that he was dead.
It brought her some relief. But that didnât stop the sadness from sinking in when she didnât get a letter.
Steve had become a circus monkey for America, gaining himself the name Captain America. When she saw one of his shows for the very first time she couldnât stop laughing. The outfit. The way he looked so unsure and uncomfortable. The music. The acting. It was laughable.
âStop laughing Y/nâ Steve said walking into the tent as she followed behind him.
âI-god you look ridiculous Stevieâ
âStop laughing!â He tried to act mad but her laugh had his lips turning upwards. For Steve it had been a long time since he heard her laugh like that. He missed it.
In October of 1943 Steve showed up at her apartment acting different, he was quieter, avoided talking about Bucky. Y/n had asked him if there was something wrong but all he did was give her a tight lipped smile and shook his head.
He wanted to tell her that he was told that Bucky and his unit had been captured as POWs, he wanted to reassure her that he was going to do everything in his power to get him back, to bring him home to her so they could get the life heâs knows theyâve always wanted with each other.Â
But he just couldnât do it. He couldnât bring himself to say them words and see her smile fade, tears gather in her eyes so he remained silent and listened to her rambling about something one of the girls said at work.
He couldnât fail her, he was going to bring Bucky back no matter what it took.
Unbeknownst to Y/n not only was Bucky captured and then saved by their once scrawny little friend but that in ten minutes there was going to be a knock at the door and sheâd be taken by two soldiers to go somewhere.
âItâs like Iâm invisibleâ Bucky mutters when Peggy doesnât even give him a second glance, he found it funny that Peggy had to practically spell it out for the blonde to understand what she was trying to hint. He knew that if Y/n was here and saw the exchange she would have been smiling so wide with her hands clasped together against her heart.
A small smile made its way to his lips as he thought about Y/n, his Flower. As soon as he got back to camp from being saved by Steve he went straight to his tent and wrote a letter to her, sealing it up in an envelope he got from one of the soldiers, giving it to the person he needed to for it to be sent off. Already excited for her letter. He missed her more than anything.
âYou thinking about her Buck?â Steveâs voice pulled him out of his thoughts.
âOf course, sheâs always on my mind-what?â
âWhoâs always on your mind?â
âMs Potts from down the street-â he rolled his eyes â-Y/n, youâre an idiot sometimes Steve I swearâ
âIâm always on your mind Jamie?â
Buckyâs eyes went wide looking Steve in the eyes, the blonde just smiled at him. Slowly turning around, his heart thumped loudly in his chest, blood rushing in his ears he turned to find the source of the voice he has missed hearing.
Well aware that his unit, his team, strangers that became friends were standing around, he didnât care if they saw their Sergeant with tears gathering in his eyes.
He didnât care about anything other than Y/n who was currently standing in front of him. Her flower print dress fit perfectly, lightly moving as she stands there. Her eyes focused on him as he took her in, god she was so beautiful.
âF-Flower?â
âHi Jamieâ
âWha-how-your really here? Iâm not dreaming again am I?â
âNoâ she giggled, the sound making his heart tingle.
âIf you donât kiss her I willâ Dum Dum shouted making everyone laugh. But not Bucky. No it made him move quicker than heâd ever moved before, cupping her face in his hands he smiled before placing his lips to hers. Steve joined in with everyone else as they cheered and clapped.Â
âYouâre really hereâ Bucky whispered against her lips, resting his forehead against hers breathing in her scent.
âIâm really hereâ
That night he took her to his hotel room that they had been allowed to stay at, and made love to her for the first time. Three times that night. One more time before they had to say goodbye to each other again.
Just as she was about to get into the car Bucky kissed her one last time, and got down on one knee, proposing to her with a metal nut - that he had found in the room they shared - asking her to marry him before she could answer he promised that once he was back heâd buy her a ring.
Kissing him she held out her hand for him to slid the nut onto her finger.
âIâm getting married to my Flowerâ he said as the car that carried his love away. Steve smiled at his best friendâs happiness.
January 28th 1945
âAre you sure youâre alright?â Dot asked Y/n as she threw up for the second time that day.
âIâm okay. Must have been something I ateâ
âYou sure? Didnât you say you saw James last month?â
âYesâŚwhy?â
âDid you twoâŚyou knowâ
âWha-oh, yes, a few timesâ she admitted, her cheeks going bright red.
âDo you think? Maybe? Right?â
âWhat are you talking about?â
âYou might be pregnantâ Dot whispered.
Her head spun as the words from her friend settled in. She hadnât had her period she realised. No. Surely not, right?
âGo and see the doctor after your shift and checkâ Dot continued.
âI have half an hour off before I start back up againâ
âIâll cover youâ
âYouâve got kids you need to-â
âMy momâs here to help me, Iâll be fineâ
âBut-â
âNo buts missy, you need to find out if you are.â
After twenty minutes of arguing back and forth with Dot, Y/n finally caved. Going to the hospital she waited patiently for her bloods to be taken. Completely unaware that across town two families were receiving the worst news.
Getting her keys out of her bag she froze when she saw Steve standing outside her apartment dressed in civilian clothing as Bucky called it now.
âSteve? Hey! What are you doing here?â
âY/n, I need to talk to youâ
âIs it Jamie? Steve? Whereâs Bucky?â
But Steve didnât answer instead he took her keys from her shaking hands and unlocked the door, pushing it open he turned to grasp her arm and guided her in to her apartment. His heart sinking further into his stomach than it already was before coming to her apartment, when he saw the metal nut still sitting on her finger.
âSteveâŚâ
âI failed you Y/n/n I-Iâm so sorryâ
âHeâs okay. He is. I know itâ
Shaking his head the scene replying over and over in his head like it had for the past week since he watched his best friend fall to his death âH-he-heâs gone Y/n, Iâm so-sorryâ He jumps up just in time to catch her as she falls to her knees, a painful sob leaving her lips.
Sadly Steve wasnât done.
âY/nâŚthereâs something else, MichaelâŚheâs been killedâ
Michael was her half brother. She was close with him, closer to him than she was with her younger siblings. Michael never failed to make her laugh, he always acted like he was the oldest one of the two though there was eight years between them. Y/n was the first person he told when he got his orders from the Army, she hugged him as he cried. Itâs not that he didnât want to fight and help it was that he was terrified.
âNo! No youâre lying.â
Helping her stand he took her home where her momâs screams and cries could be heard from outside the home. Watching as mom and daughter cling together from the doorway Steve let a few tears fall.
Two days after finding out that her best friend turned fiancĂŠ and her sweet younger brother were killed Y/n found out she was pregnant. A few weeks later they buried Michael.
On the second of March 1945 Peggy arrived at Y/nâs apartment, eyes red and swollen. They held each other as they cried. Y/n gathered that Steve never got his letter to let him know he was going to be an uncle.
When Peggy noticed the small prodding bump her heart ached. She knew she had to keep the promise that she gave Steve, that she would look after Y/n. Steve had told Peggy that just before Bucky fell he told the blonde to look after his fiancĂŠe, the two best friendâs last thoughts were on their best friend and fiancĂŠe. Neither one knowing that she pregnant.
A month later Y/n and her family, Winnie and Rebecca were at the cemetery, she smiled sadly when she felt her baby kick for the first time when the preacher said James Buchanan Barnes, they watched as two empty coffins were put into the ground.
She knew that the baby she was growing inside of her would have been so loved and spoiled by its father and uncle Stevie, it broke her heart knowing that her unborn baby would never meet the two greatest men she had ever known.
Five years passed after she lost three men closest to her. After she gave birth to a healthy beautiful baby girl that she named Hope Jamie Barnes, she moved out of the tiny little apartment she had and moved into a farm house that had acres of land.
Just because her Jamie wasnât with her anymore didnât mean she was going to give up on the life that he had planned for them. She still wore that metal nut, everyone thought it was strange but luckily for her they never asked about it. However it no longer sat on her finger but around her neck on a silver chain.
A wedding ring sat there now instead.
Two years after Hope was born her mom made her get married. âYouâre twenty nine now Y/n you need a husbandâ her mom told her, reluctantly she agreed and married a man named Frank. At first Frank was okay, nice even but things changed only after a few months of marriage. It started with small things such as telling her what to wear, how to act. Then it turned nasty, the abuse was mental, verbal and physical.
Three years into their marriage she had become numb and use to it all. Became use to the women talking and giggling like school girls when they saw her in the store or on the streets, the same women who were sleeping with her husband. It didnât bother her anymore that her husband was cheating on her, the more women he had to satisfy him the more he was away from her home, the less she got beaten and berated.
It didnât even bother her that he had gotten one of his mistresses pregnant or when the mistressâs husband found out and beat Frank to within an inch of his life. In fact she smiled.
Y/n and Peggyâs friendship became non existent after Y/n got married and Peggy married Daniel Sousa, when Peggy and Daniel started dating Peggy had asked Y/n if she was wrong for it but Y/n told her that she deserved to be happy and if he gave that to her then she should have that happiness.
Peggy worried if Steve would have been mad, Y/n had to remind her that he wouldnât have wanted her to live a life of loneliness.
When Hope was five she was wise for her age, she knew Frank wasnât her father, she knew her daddy had passed away when he protected the country from the bad guys. Hope enjoyed her nighttime stories where her mama would tell her all about her father, hearing about how funny, kind and loving her father was always made the little girl smile. One night Y/n showed Hope the few photographs she had of James, Hope giggled and pointed at her eyes and then at Jamesâs âsame mommy sameâ. It was true, Hope had the same colour eyes as Bucky and like Buckyâs eyes they changed lighter when she was happy or giggling, turned darker when she was sad or when she was poorly.
Every Sunday Y/n and Hope had a routine, they would go to the cemetery to put flowers down on the graves of James and Steve. They would sit on a blanket and eat the sandwiches that Y/n would take with them, they would sit, eat and talk for hours - depending on the weather. Hope would show the headstones all her drawings and tell them all about her schooling and friends, told them her favourite colour - the rainbow thatâs her favourite colour.
Y/n knew that there was no bodies in the coffins but that didnât mean she wouldnât sit there with her daughter in her lap and tell the two empty graves that she loved and missed them. Every time.
It was still a tradition that they both did even as Y/n got older and weaker.
In 1970 her husband was killed, Franks brother Robert was arrested and charged with his murder. Robert found out that his wife was having an affair with his brother. Y/n went to see him in prison after Robert sent her a letter begging her to see him, he swore that he didnât do it. That it was a man with a silver arm. Y/n believed him when he said he didnât do it, he was with his sister, her husband and their children, along with Robertâs children. But she didnât believe him about a man with a silver arm, that was a bit far fetched.
At Franks funeral Y/n stood there with Hope on her left side and the nine children he had with nine different women. She tried to comfort the children he had with the women he had cheated on her with, they allowed it until everyone left and it was just them standing at the grave. His oldest started laughing causing the others to join in, Hope looked at her mom with a raised eyebrow that reminded her so much of Bucky, she just shrugged.
They told Y/n that they were happy he was finally gone. Told her that they hated him and was glad he was dead.
It surprised her but they were at the age where they realised that their parents marriages broke up when their mom cheated on their dad, or when they saw Frank hit their mom. It was nine teenagers/young adults who knew that what the preacher was saying as the coffin was lowered in the ground that it was all lies, he wasnât a good man, he wasnât a good husband or father, he was everything they hated. He was everything the five boys had promised that they would never turn in to. He was everything the four girls promised that they would never end up with.
They all kept in touch throughout the years, it was nice. And through them years all nine of his offspring kept their promises.
As the years went on Y/n became more and more proud of Hope and the woman she had become. Hope got married and had children, her first born son was named James, her second son was named Steve.
âM-mom thereâs someone here to see youâ Hope stuttered from the doorway.
âW-who i-is it darling?â
âI-he-hold onâ
Hope appeared at the door with a nervous smile on her face, her fingers twisting together as a man walked slowly towards her. His eyes going to the woman and then to the man behind him, he was scared.
âHope?â
âMom-â
Y/n slowly turned to face the doorway, her eyes widening as she sees the ghost of her best friend towering over her daughter.
âS-Stevie? Youâve come to take me to Jamie?â
Steve frowned looking at the woman who was the last person on his mind before the plane crashed in to the water, his best friend who had aged yet her eyes remained the same. Then he looked at Hope confusion written on his face, she looked up at him and smiled sadly.
âMom Iâm just going to get you a drink.â Nodding her head to Steve and Sam to follow her she went into the kitchen. âShe thinks your taking her to heaven to see my dadâ
âDad?â
âJames? Heâs my fatherâ
Steveâs heart thumped painfully in his chest. When Hope answered the door telling him that she was Y/nâs daughter he assumed that she had married and had children, he did not expect the woman in front of him to be the daughter of his best friend who he watched fall to his death.
âWhat?â
âBucky Barnes is my fatherâŚyouâre my uncle, well thatâs what my mom always called you.â
âOh. Now I see it, itâs your eyesâ
âMom always said I had the same eyes as himâ she laughed.
Steve goes to open his mouth when thereâs a sound of a cane hitting the floor, all three turn to face the doorway where Y/n stood.
âAre you re-really alive and not just m-my imagination?â
âIâm really here Y/n/nâ
âH-how?â
âWhen I crashed the plane-ow stop hitting meâ he cries out when she hits him with her walking cane, Sam and Hope laugh.
âStill mad at you for crashing that planeâ
âIâm sorry. I was frozen and they found me a few years agoâ Steve finished his explanation. Y/n nodded and sat down, being ninety five years old her legs werenât as strong as they once were.
âThis is my daughter, sheâs beautiful isnât she?â
âShe is, sheâs got Buckyâs eyesâ
âYes she has. Whoâs your friend?â
âThis is Sam, heâs the one that helped me track you downâ
âI-itâs nice to meet you Sam.â When Y/n reached out to shake Samâs hand Steve noticed a glint of a necklace. He watched as her free hand went to the necklace and started lightly tugging on it, he wasnât the only one.
âMom? Mom your alright, your safe donât worryâ Hope says softly, moving closer slowly. Sam looked at Steve worriedly.
âI-I donât-donât let him hurt me anymoreâ
âMom heâs dead, he canât hurt you anymore I promiseâ Hope helped pull the necklace out, handing her the thing she knew her mom was trying to hold.
Steveâs breath get caught in his throat at seeing the metal nut Bucky gave her all those years ago.
âS-Steve? Your dead. Hope wh-who is he? I-itâs not Stevie, heâs deadâ
âItâs okay mom, heâs a friend. Letâs get you back to bed okay?â Turning to Steve and Sam telling them sheâd be back in a few, they both nod.
Waiting patiently in the kitchen Steve can hear Hope calm Y/n down, his heart breaking when Y/n asks for Jamie. When Hope comes downstairs she offers the two a drink, both declines politely.
âMom keeps forgetting things, sheâs been like this for a while now.â
âThe thing on her necklace, what is it?â Though he knew he just couldnât see it lasting this long or that she even kept it.
âMy dad proposed to her with it, itâs a nut. Sheâs kept it on her chain ever since-well, sheâs wore it since he gave it herâ
âDid she ever marry? Have other kids?â
âYes, he died in 1970 and no Iâm her only childâ
âIâm sor-â
âDonât apologise, bastard deserved itâ
After an hour or so the men take their leave, the blonde asking if he was able to come back and see Y/n again, Hope said yes.
The year was now 2016, Y/nâs health declining as she was nearing one hundred. The doctors told Hope that it would be better to keep her in hospital for the rest of her time on earth, Hope told them that, that wasnât going to happen. Y/n had told Hope that when she was going to die that she wanted to go when she was at home. No matter what.
Steve had showed up one day to talk to Hope, to tell her that her father was alive after all this time. Hope begged him not to tell Y/n. Y/n struggled to understand and come to terms with the fact that Steve was alive, she had grown so confused that she started to tug on her necklace. Hope didnât want to imagine how her mom would react to the news that the love of her life was alive, not when she spent so long mourning him.
At first Steve was confused but understood at the same time. He told Hope that he and Bucky fought and the only way he could get him to snap out of whatever Hydra had done to him was by saying Y/ns name, Hope smiled at that. Hope asked Steve if he had told James all about her and how her mom was still alive, Steve said no but with her permission he would. And he did.
After seventy years of going without a father it was strange when she met Bucky for the first time, a man who didnât look a day over thirty was her father when she looked like his mother, it was strange.
Bucky cried. Cried for never knowing Y/n was pregnant in the first place. Cried for never being there throughout Hope growing in her motherâs stomach. Cried for never being there for either one of them for nearly seventy years. Hugging his daughter for the first time ever Bucky crumbled.
Hope was very honest about hers and Y/nâs life, told Bucky how Y/nâs husband was a cheating abusive arsehole. Both Bucky and Steve clenched their fists at hearing that. Shocked when Hope told them that apparently a man with a silver arm had killed Frank, and because Bucky had his arm covered and gloves on Hope didnât realise that it was her father that did it.
Bucky was open and honest about what had happened to him, expecting his daughter to look at him differently so when she threw her arms around him and cried he was shocked.
It took Bucky exactly twenty three minutes and fourteen seconds for him to ask when he could see Y/n. Having to think it over she agreed but on the condition that she was the one that would tell Y/n the truth.
Telling her mom that the man she had still been in love with after all those years since she had lost him, that he was still alive was the hardest conversation she had to have with her mom. Y/n didnât believe her, of course she didnât sheâs spent seventy years mourning him. Seventy years wishing she saw him again, hoping and praying that he would still love her the way she still loved him.
Hope told Y/n that she had met him, hugged him, laughed with him but she still didnât believe her.
A week after telling Y/n that Bucky was still alive her health deteriorated. Hope had to tell Bucky and Steve that Y/n didnât have long left. Bucky was determined to see his love for the last time.
James stood in front of the house that Y/n had made a home since she left Brooklyn, the two floored farm house stood proudly in front of acres of land, due to his enhanced senses he could smell the lingering smell of animal food and waste. Hope had told him all about the animals Y/n rescued over the years, told him that when she was seven they had three horses, cows and goats, that in recent years Y/n had been rescuing cats and dogs from the streets or abusive homes rehoming them to those she trusted. Bucky smiled at hearing that she had lived the life he wanted for the both of them, smiled at hearing that Y/nâs kindness and love for animals never stopped.
Checking his hair was fine for the umpteenth time in the two hours it took them to get there he turned to face Steve.
âYou ready Buck?â
âY-yeahâ Steve knocks on the door and they both wait patiently for Hope to answer.Â
âHi, come on in-ohâ
âT-they wanted to come, hope thatâs okayâ Bucky explained. Behind him and Steve stood the rest of the Avengers.
âWeâve heard all about your mom ever since blondie came out of ice, wanted to meet herâ Tony spoke leaning in between the two super soldiers to hold his hand out.
âOh right, come in.â Leading them all upstairs where Y/n was, Buckyâs nerves sky rocketed the closer he got to the bedroom. âYou ready?â Hope asked.
âYeah. She knows Iâm here right?â
âShe does, if it helps sheâs nervous tooâ
Nodding his head he watched with a steady breath as his daughter - which he still found weird saying - twisted the door knob and opened the door.
Though older and frail Bucky thought she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. His eyes stayed on her face as he moved closer, with every step he took his heart started to beat slower.
âJ-Jamie?â
Wetting his lips and gulping he nodded âhi Flowerâ
âTook you long enough to come and get meâ
âI know my love b-but Iâm here nowâ
âAre we going to see Stevie?â
âStevieâs right here darlingâ
âIs my mama going to be there too?â
Frowning he looked back to Hope as she stands at the doorway with everyone behind her. Hope shook her head and mouthed âshe thinks youâre taking her to heavenâ.  His frown deepened, looking back at Y/n whose eyes didnât move away from him.
âIâve missed you Flowerâ
âIâve missed you too Jamie. Ha-have you met Hope? Sheâs your daughter Jamieâ
âI have met her, beautiful isnât she?â
âShe is. The best thing Iâve ever doneâ
âIâm so proud of you, youâve raised our daughter amazinglyâ
âSit down sillyâ sitting on bed next to her he took his gloves off and held both her hands when she reached for him. Y/n didnât flinch when his silver hand touched her. âDonât let Frank hurt Hope okay? Y-you have to promise me Jamie th-that youâll lo-look after herâ
âDoll heâs-I promise that no one will ever hurt herâ
âGood. Heâs mean. He hurts me Jamieâ
âI know doll I know, Iâm sorry I wasnât there to protect you from himâ
âNot your fa-wh-who are they Jamie?â
âTheyâre Stevies friends Flowerâ
Hope nudged Steve further into the room and nods to the others letting them know itâs okay for them to go in too. Steve says hello and introduces the team to her, each giving her a smile.
For three hours Steve and Y/n talked about growing up together and all the things they use to get up to, everyone laughed and asked Y/n questions about the two super soldiers, she answered them as best as she could sometimes she repeated herself or looked panicked when she saw strangers standing in her room.
Bucky though held her hand with the both of his, his eyes on her the whole time. Tracing over each line with his eyes, his heart clenching when he saw the unmistakable sight of a scar that ran down the side of her face.
His breath got caught in his throat when she took out the metal nut around the necklace. âY-you kept it?â He asked interrupting when Sam was talking about.
âMy Jamie gave it me during the war, he proposed to meâ she smiled âyou look like himâ
âDo I?â
âYes, but my Jamie was more handsomeâ
âWas he now?â
âOh yes-â a yawn cuts her off. Hope tells everyone that it was best if they left now so she could get some rest, and they do. Each say their goodbyes and waits for Steve and Bucky downstairs.
âWeâll come and see you tomorrow okay?â Steve says after he pulls away from giving her a hug and a kiss to her forehead. Y/n nods and smiles. âIâll wait for downstairs Buckâ
Bucky nods, then looks at Hope who understands without being verbally told that Bucky wanted a few minutes alone, she follows behind Steve.
âI have always loved you, you know? I still love you. Iâm sorry that I didnât come home to you when I promised you over and over that I would, Iâm sorry I let you down Flowerâ
âY-you didnât let me down Jamie, never.â
Bucky smiles softly at her, watching as her eyes start to droop. âIâll let you get some rest my love. Iâll see you tomorrow, I promiseâ
âO-okay Jamie. S-see you tom-tomorrowâ Giving her a kiss to her forehead he stands and moves to the door, taking one last look at his first and only love.
âThank you for the best years of my lifeâ
He says before shutting the door and heads slowly down the stairs.
After Hope says her goodbyes and gives her dad a hug she busies herself cleaning the kitchen, she smiles happily to herself seeing her parents together something she had always wanted to experience.
She doesnât know that her mom is in her bed with her hand wrapped around the piece of metal that she had wore and cherished from the moment James gave it her, she doesnât know her mom is thinking about meeting her Jamie again.
She doesnât know that her mom takes her last breath with a small smile on her lips.
A year after loosing the love of his life Bucky had to bury his only daughter, heart attack took her. In 2023 Tony had perfected his fatherâs Time Machine with the help from Bruce. Steve was going to be returning the stones, they all gathered together in the empty space and watched as Steve vanished.
â4âŚ3âŚ2âŚ1â Bruce counted down for Steveâs arrival.
Once the smoke cleared Bucky had his eyes down as he knew that Steve wasnât going to be coming back, he knew he was going to go back to live a life with Peggy. His head snapped up when he heard the voice that he always heard in his sleep.
There stood on the platform was Steve, Y/n and a two year old Hope.
âFl-Flowerâ
âYou died Jamie. You promised me you would be safe but-â
Bucky cuts her off by pressing his lips against hers, holding both of his flowers tightly.
One month after Steve brought Y/n and Hope to the future, Bucky and Y/n got married. A month after that she finds out that baby Barnes number two would be arriving.
âI love you Flowerâ
âI love you Jamieâ
Tags: @imcinnamoons | @pigeonmama | @capsbestgirl77
#marvel#marvel fanfiction#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky x you#bucky barns x y/n#bucky x reader#james bucky barnes#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky fanfic#james buchanan bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes#bucky x y/n#bucky barns x reader#bucky barns imagine#bucky barns fanfiction#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes angst
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18+ Sometimes I get an idea in my head and you'll hear 10 versions of the same thing, word for word, I swear (iykyk). I'm sorry. Just a little in coming fluff, angst and smuttt. We're giving him the ending he always deserved. This is a mess of my brain vomit.
Sergeant Barnes who can't help the crush he has on the sweet nurse stationed at his camp, always finding ways to talk to her, even if it means interrupting her in the middle of the way, wagging his finger around the tent because he has a dire papercut.
She'll patch him up every single time with a shake of her head, telling him to be more careful and he'll say yes mam, just to be back in the same cot the next day like clockwork.
Sergeant Barnes who walks her to her quarters every evening and bids her goodnight with a tip of his hat, always a gentleman. He never misses an opportunity to hold the door open, fetch extra supplies, grinning all while she tells him to get back to his work, worried he'll get in trouble for always helping her.
Sergeant Barnes who has a flirty little mouth on him, never missing a moment to tell her how lovely she looks. She dismisses everything he says, after all there's no way he could see her that way when she's sweating, covered in grime and blood aftering bandaging up different men.
Sergeant Barnes who wonders if she feel the same way when catches a tear roll down her cheek the first time she has to sew his injures. Her hands work quick and steadily keeping a straight face until the last dressing is placed across his abdomen. He's seen her do the same thing to plenty of others, sending them on their way right after but not him. She checked over him again and then once more, insisting he rest for an additional night before he was off again.
Sergeant Barnes who didn't realize it would get this far. He only intended to kiss her, he really did but the surprised little whine she let out was too much. How could he left her go when he hands clutched onto his uniform tighter, lips parted, letting his tongue lace with hers.
He made love to her that night.
Sergeant Barnes who took his time touching every bit of her body with softness, laying her in bed and covering her with the sheet when she shyly looked away. He didn't need much more than that, happy to feel her bare skin on his while he felt her lips flutter against his neck, he may as well have died and gone to heaven.
Sergeant Barnes who doesn't rush a thing while he pumps his cock, letting his swollen head rub though her slit while letting her know much he adores her. How perfect she already is. She whispers a please in his ear and he starts to push himself inside, his length already throbbing with need.
"I know angel, I know" He coos at the gasp she lets out, his hand coming up to caress her cheek, his thumb stroking her skin. "S'just me doll, s'just me you're feeling"
He stretches her slowly, after all his sweet angel has never felt anyone else. Her face hides in his neck, panting as he fully sheaths himself, cuddling her body, rubbing her back.
"S-so big, Sergeant" is the best she can get out and he has to force himself to not cum on the spot. He starts to move, holding her tighter because he didn't expect to struggle this much.
"I love you" He rasps out, it's all he can say without running his mouth, spewing all the things that were in his head. He really can't take it. His mind is working faster than he can comprehend. There were a thousand sweet things but that wasn't the issue. He bit his tongue from confessing she caused all his wet dreams, making him feel like a teenager all over again. That her pussy was so tight, he was leaking in her. That it felt too good, he felt like a virgin too, his cock was so sensitive like never before, fuck, she had to unlock her ankles that were wrapped around his waist-
"M'close" He pants, eyes locked with hers hoping she understands- "M'gonna cum, I-fuck, i'm cu-mph" His eyes grow wide in surprise when she tugs his dog tags and pulls him down for a kiss, her legs still wrapped around him, every bit of his cum filling her up.
"I love you too" she nuzzles her nose with his, relaxing in his hold as they drift off to sleep.
He holds her extra tight that night.
There was a war happening and tomorrow wasn't always promised.
Especially not when he had an assignment the next day.
-
Sergeant Barnes who dragged himself through hell and back, limping half sewn up with that cute little blush on his face cause he can't wait to see her again after months of nearly dying, losing men, the only thing that kept him going was getting to see-
Where was she?
"Has anyone seen Nurse y/l/n?" He frowned when the other nurses shook their heads as he searched, his worry increasing when he finds her things gone. He nearly sends off a search party until a close friend of hers quietly gives him an address. She says very little, only sending him off with a wink and a good luck.
He's utterly baffled when he sees the address is that of his own? Surely there was a mistake. That doesn't mean he'll waste anytime. The war was over anyway, injuries be damned, he's moving as fast as he can.
He sets off home, knocking on the door, his can't wait to find her again and he's missed his family soo much-
"Jamie!!" His sister throws her arms around his neck and he stumbles back, hugging her tightly, "Mama, Jamie's home!!" He doesn't let go of her as his mother runs to him from the kitchen, tears already streaming down her face.
"Sweet boy" She takes his face in her hands, looking him up and down. Her baby boy is back in one piece and that's all that matters.
Well, sort of.
"I missed you ma-ow!"
"I raised you better, you worried those poor angels to bits"
Angels?
He isn't given a chance to ask anything when she gives him a wack with a rolled newspaper, ushering him to go to his room, slipping something into his pocket before sending him off.
Sergeant Barnes who can't believe his eyes when he sees her again. Her pretty face. Same perfect eyes. Perfect nose. Perfect lips. All of it turns blurry from unshed tears because the only thing that was different now was a very round baby bump.
"Y'came back" Her voice melts into a sob seeing him standing at the doorway.
"I missed ya" He whispers against her hairline, kissing her repeatedly, his hands cradling her rounded belly, his little baby kicking against his touch. "M'so sorry angel, wish I was here-
"You're here now" she sniffled, inhaling his scent after waiting for him to come back, not knowing if he was hurt or alive, the thought breaking her heart. "We waited"
"Daddy's here" He kisses her tummy, holding her extra close again after months of waiting. Dreaming. Hoping.
He asks her to marry him. His ma wouldn't give him her wedding ring for just anyone.
A baby boy. 2 years later, a little girl. She asks for a kitten. They name her Alpine. Another little boy 3 years later.
Perfect.
#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes fanfiction#40s bucky#40's bucky#40s bucky barnes#40s bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes fan fic#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes angst#bucky fluff#bucky fan fic#bucky fan fiction#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes x fanfic#bucky barnes smut#marvel smut#marvel#marvel fic#marvel fanfic#marvel fanfiction#avengers fluff
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out of style
Summary: A year after your divorce, you and Bucky come face to face at your closest friends' wedding. Emotions run high, leading to a fiery confrontation that takes a detour to Bucky's hotel room, where the old flame might just reignite.
Pairing:Â ex-husband!Bucky Barnes x female reader
Warnings:Â 18+, teasing, dirty talk, pet names, daddy kink, fingering, oral sĂŠx, no condom (but f is on birth control), language, a little alcohol, no mention of y/n
Word Count:Â 7.2K
Bucky Barnes masterlist
A/N:Â I really hope you'll enjoy it!
Please, do not repost or translate without my permission!
What an ass... He has no shame at all. And the worst part? Youâre still somehow surprised by it. As if you havenât known him for years.
You look away, making sure to take a sip from your wine before focusing on the conversation again. Itâs Natâs big day, and youâre so happy for her, but listening to this story for the seventh time is exhausting. Same reactions, too: âWow, heâs so well trained.â or âThe wedding bands didnât fall even once. Enzo is fantastic.â Heâs a trained dog, you donât get why theyâre so fucking impressed.
You give Nat a smile before you excuse yourself to go to the bar. Maybe you should get a cocktail, the wine tastes terrible. On the way, you notice Steve talking to Miss Sunshine in the right corner, and you just nod toward him politely, trying to look unbothered. Itâs his best friendâs girlfriend after all. What did you expect? Plus, maybe itâs just a polite conversation.
âA Sex on the Beach, please,â you murmur to the bartender.
âVodka so early?â
You turn your head with a sigh just to see a guy you recognize from Natâs engagement party. A fresh haircut, a simple suit and wandering eyes.
âIs there a time limit for a cocktail?â you respond, rolling your eyes when you notice he is still fixated on your chest.
He immediately raises his hands in defense as he takes a seat next to you.
God, if you hate one thing about being single besides the lack of sex is this⌠needing to deal with those men. It was perfect when Bucky used to take care of them.
âI didn't mean it like that, sweetheart.â You scrunch your nose instantly. God no!
âHere you go!â The bartender places the glass gently in front of you, and youâve never been more grateful to see her.
âThank you!â You smile before taking a huge sip, hoping it will turn him off and make him get away.
âA vodka tonic for me.â His tone is commanding, and you try not to roll your eyes again as he leans in closer. âWeâre matching.â
âHuh?â You choke.
âVodka lovers.â
Alright, time to get out of here!
You quickly grab your glass and stand up, making sure to fix your dress just in case, but his eyes are already on your breasts again. For fuckâs sake! How is he Steveâs cousin?
And talking about Steve, you almost jump when you hear him saying your name.
âHey.â Youâve never been happier to see him.
You canât say the same thing about his friend, whoâs right next to him, looking the creepy blondie up and down.
âIs everything alright?â Steve asks with obvious concern. âDo you feel okay?â
âHey, man! The food is great and the company even better. Look at her, such an eye candy, am I right?â He chuckles at his own disgusting comment. âI mean, youâre married. Donât answer that, I donât want Romanoff on my back.â And after all of this, he has the audacity to wink at Steve. But before you can throw your cocktail over his shirt and make a scene, Buckyâs already getting in front of you, blocking your view with his huge back.
âIf you want to keep your teeth, get the fuck out of here and never, ever get even within three feet of my wife. Am I fucking clear?â
His tone is so cold, harsh, and arrogant at the same time, but also so possessive. It surprises both: you and Steve, because he immediately looks at you confused before dropping his eyes on your hand.
He must be looking for a ring.
God, you never hated Bucky more than when you see blondie standing up and going straight outside just like that. It makes you even angrier because itâs always a man who has to explain the obvious signs to these assholes so they leave. You say no? You are playing hard to get. You are with a man? Then itâs all off-limits.
You sip your cocktail with frustration, the taste of vodka lingering on your tongue.
Then, you take a step toward Bucky, grabbing his arm and turning him so he can face you. âListen and listen good, Iâm not your wife and I donât need you to play the macho hero! I can handle myself, so back off!â You wanted to leave after saying this, but the way he looks at you makes you change your mind. His eyes softened, showing a trace of your old Bucky, and it only pisses you off more. He labeled you just like that... âI divorced you for a reason, Iâm not your property or responsibility. Stay out of my fucking business or Iâll show you exactly how well I can take care of myself!â
You hand him your half-full glass and storm out, seeing red. Or well, blue.
You anticipated that heâd come after you, of course you did. You know him, as much as you hate to admit. You still know him well. Too well.
And when you hear his sigh behind you, you donât jump.
âYou can handle yourself, but he was all over you. Sorry for being a gentleman.â He apologizes sarcastically. âI guess old habits die hard.â
âToo bad, Barnes! I am not your little wife. I am not your girlfriend. I am not even your friend.â You turn your head to look at him as heâs standing on the other side of the balcony. âAnd I am not that flavor of the month of yours, you have to kill these habits.â
He raises his head. âFlavor of the month?â
âYeah, your plus one. You know, you should take care of her instead of trying to play hero and calling me your wife.â
âKeeping an eye on me? He smirks. âThought you divorced me for a reason.â
Fuck him! He thinks he got you... âI did! You couldnât open your mouth to say what bothers you, remember?â
âWell, I opened my mouth to do something else, far more exciting.â
You gasp, incredulous at his audacity.
âWhat the fuck is wrong with you?â You scream, walking toward him. âSeriously!â
âWhat is wrong with me? You tell me! You divorced me for a reason.â
âDonât you have someone else to bother? Fuck off already, Bucky!â
âYou got angrier with me now than back there with him. Unbelievable!â He shakes his head.
You take a deep breath, trying not to have a crisis. You are not gonna let him get to you. âLook, can you just pretend this didnât happen?â
He instantly looks at you shocked as he leans in. âThis as in,â he waves between you two. âOur marriage? You think I can pretend our marriage never happened?â His voice grew louder, his words punctuated by sharp, angry inflections. âYou think just because we divorced, you get to ask me that? How can you...â
Youâre taken completely aback by his whole attitude, and itâs like youâre back in time at your wedding as he made you sneak out so he can make you come on his tongue after saying all sorts of things.
You donât know why you suddenly remembered that, but you need to snap out of it.
âI meant the whole interaction, you annoying man!â
âHow was I supposed to know?â He looks much more relaxed now, though, and before you can think about it, youâre poking his chest.
âWhy would I tell you to forget about our marriage, Bucky?â You smile. âYou are more than free to think about me as you fuck your little flavor of the month. I am not gonna stop that.â
You see his eyebrows raise instantly as his gaze drops to your finger. âMy little flavor of the month? How many times did you think about me fucking her?â His hand finds your wrist. âDid you wonder if Iâm fucking her from behind as I choke her? Did you imagine me coming all over her tits? Did you-â
You grab his cheeks, just the way he likes it, to stop him.
âYou think I have nothing better to think about? I have my own dicks that occupy my thoughts,â you lie through your teeth, and he knows it. God, he knows it as he chuckles right away.
âWhatâs so funny, Barnes?â You let go, expecting him to do the same, but heâs still holding your other wrist.
âYou have no dick to think about. I know you broke up with your last flavor of the month, honey.â
He knows how much you hate being mocked with the word honey, but you bite the inside of your cheeks. âItâs funny really,â you fake giggle, looking up at him. âYou assume I donât have someone already. Maybe Iâm just enjoying my life after our divorce... new dick every month since I am a free woman. I donât even need something serious. You know how much I love sex.â
His smile immediately drops, his face reddening.
âYou are absolutely infuriating!â Even his tone carries a sense of irritation.
âAww, what happened?â
Itâs his turn to grab your face, making you gasp. You donât remember the last time he touched you, and youâre shivering.
âYouâre playing a very dangerous game, and you know it!â
âI donât play games, Bucky, that is your specialty.â You smile, trying to maintain your composure. âNow let me go and get back to your little girlfriend. You can be mad about how many dicks she thinks about.â
âYou canât do the whole non-attachment shit. I know you well, donât forget that. Youâre my...â He talks so fast youâre surprised he stopped. You know what he was gonna say, of course you know. The audacity!
âI am not your wife, Bucky. You literally have a woman with you here tonight. We divorced, we live in separate places, and we fuck different people.â
âWho are you fucking, huh?â He almost spits the last words. âTell me! Nat said youâre single.â
âYouâve been asking Nat about my personal life?â And she is spilling to him? No way.
âFuck...â he frowns, dropping his hand from your face. âNo.â
âSteve!â You realize. âGod, this is pathetic! Why do you keep tabs on me, huh? Canât you just mind your own business? Is your life goal to piss me off?â
âIâm not the one calling Jessica the flavor of the month.â
âHa!â You laugh in his face. âWell, you have no success in getting a girlfriend. And they all look pretty familiar.â You canât hide the venom in your voice. âThe differences are theyâre just taller and with less in the chest department. Quite interesting, donât you think?â
âSo youâre keeping tabs on me too!â
âYou flatter yourself. Itâs quite obvious, look at Jessica. Does she know you were married to me? Does she beg you to fuck her mouth? Does she...â You take a deep breath. âDoes she call you daddy, James? Does she ride you until you lose control and turn her on her back so you can pound her?â You donât care anymore. Right or wrong, youâre gonna let it all out. âDo you praise her? Tell her how wet she is for you? How your cock is made for her? Do you... do you tell her you love her while sheâs coming? Do you fucking call her your good girl?â
âJesus-â You donât let him continue his sentence, interrupting him.
âDoes she take you like I did? Does she beg for you because she feels empty, James? Does she? Did any of them?â
âStop. It.â
âWhy? You didnât stop!â
He sighs, reaching out to grab your cheeks gently. âNo one does, are you happy? I donât even fucking try. I donât let anyone call me daddy, I donât choke anyone and I definitely donât fuck anyone like I fucked you. Are you happy? Seeing me miserable and pathetic? Are you enjoying it?â
You canât deny the satisfaction and relief you feel when you hear that. Dating post-him was a very bad experience overall, so him not upgrading, indeed, in any way, makes you feel victorious. At least, youâre both suffering.
âYeah, I actually enjoy that.â
âWhat about you?â He snaps. âDo you do all of that?â
âI donât want to be called daddy, James.â
âYou know exactly what I meant! You call those losers daddy? You choke around their cocks? Do you beg for their small dicks to go deeper and finish yourself off after it?â
âLike I begged for your small dick?â You ask annoyed, knowing how dumb this lie is, but what else can you say? No one compares to him and never will.
His response shocks you as he reaches down to the zipper of his worn jeans and pulls it down.
âWhat the fuck are you doing? Are you crazy?â
âWanted to, you know⌠give you more mocking material in case you forgot how small it is.â
You have to think twice about what to say because the first thought was: I have enough videos, thanks. But you canât. You canât expose yourself like that.
âJames, what the fuck are you doing? Are you trying to hurt me?â
âWith my small dick?â
You look away for a few seconds, not wanting him to read you. âWhy are you doing this? We divorced, youâre seeing someone, Iâm good by myself... just let it go.â
He smiles at that, and you realize you indirectly told him you are indeed not fucking anyone.
âWhy would I let go of my wife?â
Youâre slapping his chest before you realize what youâre doing. âStop this, Bucky! Just fucking stop.â
Heâs hurting you, how can he not see that?
âYou said you divorced me for a reason. You said...â he pauses. âYou ordered me to leave you alone. Well, what if I donât want to?â
âWhat are you, a fucking stalker?â
âNo!â He almost screams. âI am fucking in love with you, you infuriating woman!â
âW-what?â
He canât be joking about this, can he? He is not cruel. He is not vile. This isnât a game.
âIâm in love with you. I love you. You own me... you fucking control me.â
âHow?â
He laughs hysterically, running his hands through his hair before pulling. âI am fucking obsessed with you: how you are, if youâre doing well, if you miss me, if youâre fucking someone else, if your date went great, if you regret being with me, if someone else makes you smile wider. I dream about you, I am so miserable I couldnât be with anyone. With Mia it lasted a month. I wasnât... I wasnât okay. I am not okay.â
You look at him, waiting for more. âGo on and zip your jeans, weâre in public.â You watch him quickly do what you demand before you continue. âAnd what about Jessica tonight? Or Alexa a month ago? Why are you lying to me?â
âItâs not real. Jessica... I was just trying to make you jealous, okay? I was sneaking looks all night, have you not noticed at all?â
You donât smile, despite your huge instinct to. Instead, you cross your arms, watching him drop his gaze straight to your boobs.
âWhy would I notice, James?â
âWell, how did you notice Jessica looking a little like you, that sheâs with me here?â
Fair point...
âJust...â Youâre suddenly gripped by this crazy urge to just fuck him right here. You even regret telling him to zip back up. You could have just lifted your dress as he lowered his briefs and took out his cock. And just like that, you could have just fucked against the wall or something. You would have let him rip off your panties too. You just need his cock so badly! âShut the fuck up!â You snap, grabbing him by his neck so he can lean in enough for you to be able to kiss him. And oh, you kiss him!
You donât have to fight to dominate the kiss, surprisingly, because he lets you. He lets you bite his lip and almost draw blood, he lets you unzip his pants again and push down his unfit-for-a-wedding jacket, and most importantly, he lets you be his again, as pathetic as that might sound. You feel him emotionally, not just physically.
Without wasting more time, you drop to your knees, making sure only your dress and shoes touch the floor directly. You drag down his pants and briefs at the same time from your position, and he looks at you surprised.
âI thought weâre in public and you were fucking some-â his words die as you bring your tongue to the head of his cock, tasting the precum, but not sucking even a little bit.
âWerenât you saying something?â You tuck your hair strands behind your ears as you mock him. You love being on your knees for Bucky. He has this dominant energy, but he always makes you feel in power even when he fuck your mouth. And you enjoy it, you feed on it. One of the reasons you missed him so much. And he can take mocking. âPlease go on. I am all ears.â You breathe out on his dick. âAnd tongue.â
âOh god,â Buckyâs voice is a moan at this point, and you laugh. So easy...
âIâm your god now? Aww! Come on, do I have to do everything tonight?â
He looks down at you confused. His blue eyes are almost grey, and you know heâs on cloud nine already just because youâre there.
âWhat?â
âOh, you need translation. Well,â itâs all you say before wrapping your lips around his dick and using both of your hands to push him as deep as he can go inside your mouth. He moans at the same time you gag, and his balls slap you in the face. He instinctively looks at you to ask if youâre okay, but you are more than okay. You are fucking alive. You encourage him to fuck your throat at this point by squeezing his ass cheeks and touching his balls.
âGod, look at you! That pretty black dressâŚâ He pulls out and back in not as forcefully as he can, but enough to make you start tearing up quickly. âOn your knees for your man. That mouth!â
You find yourself moaning at the feel of his fingers grasping and tugging at your hair. Jesus, how you missed this...
âYou have the sweetest mouth.â Does he even realize what heâs mumbling? âI could die right here. Right now,â he says and thrusts harder, which makes you close your eyes. You can barely see anything because of the tears, and heâs already close. âMy pretty baby, my fucking girl.â
Youâre getting wetter and wetter the more he talks, and itâs crazy. Youâre cold and your jaw is hurting, yet you love this.
âNot caring if someone can catch us, just making sure you mark me again. God, I'm gonna come, baby. Gonna... should I p-pull-â
You donât let him finish his sentence as you grab his ass to make sure you keep him there, in your throat, as he comes while moaning your name.
When he finishes, he immediately helps you stand up, before he kisses you desperately, his tongue immediately licking your bottom lip to get access. He lifts you up, wrapping your legs around his waist tightly. You moan in the middle of the kiss because his semi-hard cock is right where you need it, and itâs like torture...
âNeed to taste you, okay, baby?â He asks with so much need in his voice. He sounds so whipped. âNeed my pussy. Can I take you to my room?â
That is perfect, a dream at this point. But you need to make him a little more desperate.
âBut the wedding⌠They would kill us.â
âI am sure you care sooooo much about this wedding and Natâs stories. More than about getting my tongue on that pretty clit of yours and making you come all over my face.â
You canât hold back your laughter.
âFair point, Mr. Barnes. I deserve my orgasms, especially after listening to you pathetically trying to seduce me by admitting how desperate you are.â
âYou dropped to your knees on this balcony just to mark my cock as yours.â
You pull his hair a little. âYou said it yourself, it's already mine. Now get that ugly jacket and carry me.â
Bucky snorts, kissing your cheek. âYou bought me that ugly jacket.â
âI know.â
*
You donât know where you left your phone and even though you should feel panicked, you donât. All you can focus on is Bucky taking off your dress and groaning at the sight of your cups. You couldnât wear a full bra, so you improvised. They could barely hold your breasts, but no nipples showing? Win.
âHurry up!â
âJesus,â he moans and reaches for your cups. Desperate man... you roll your eyes, but let him uncover your breasts and grab them into his hands eagerly. Heâs not just holding them, he looks and touches them as if heâs never seen boobs in his entire life, let alone yours.
âJames...â You sigh, throwing your head back in pleasure when he finally gets your nipple into his mouth. Your hand finds his hair instantly, and you watch him suck happily while playing with your other nipple.
âYouâre quite hungry,â you say with a smile, stroking his hair. You missed this so much. His need to always touch or sleep on your boobs, the way he grabs them while heâs pounding you... You shiver in anticipation when he switches to the other tit.
âFucking shit, I missed them so much.â
You snort. âMy boobs?â
âMine.â Heâs not sucking anymore, heâs eating them, shocking you.
âH-hold on a second, Bucky. Theyâre breasts, not my clit.â
âItâs been a year, love. Let me get my fill. I died without them. Died!â
As much as you wanted to think only about the part he missed your boobs, you canât help the jealousy that clouds your mind. You were divorced, yet the image of him sucking someone elseâs tits makes you want to hit a wall. Mia all over him... You pull his hair angrily. âYou surely had other tits in your mouth, Bucky, for the past year. Donât pretend this is any different.â
He immediately stops sucking. âYou... you canât believe this. Tell me you donât believe this.â
You look away, too proud to face him. âWhat am I supposed to believe, huh? Itâs been one fucking year.â
âIâve been yours this whole year. Iâve been thinking about you, fucking my fist while watching... our videos, as fucked up as it might be. I tried to date, but I failed, and trust me, it has nothing to do with the size of my dick and my age. No one is you. No one smells like you or talks like you. No one is my brat with the god complex.â
âGod complex?â You raise your eyebrow, keeping your face straight. âFuck you.â
âI will fuck it out of you as I usually do, donât worry.â
âThen why does it keep coming back?â
He chuckles. âBecause you want to get fucked all the goddamn time.â
âLike you donât!â You puff. âCome on, I breathe in your direction and you get hard, Bucky.â
âDid you see yourself? Did you have sex with yourself? You cannot judge me!â He grabs your breasts again. âThere is no comparison, okay? You have no rival. Never did, never will.â
âThatâs all?â You puff, amused. âMy looks?â
âDo I even have to say⌠Your god complex exists for a fucking reason. Youâre the smartest, most sarcastic, and feistiest person Iâll ever meet. One mocking comment, and you know how I get.â
âPathetic?â You mock him on purpose just to get the reaction he is talking about. You love it when he compliments you.
âIs this why you divorced me? Cause I am a pathetic son of a bitch?â
You take a deep breath. âI divorced you because you refused to communicate properly with me anymore, and you know it.â
âSo not because of my small dick, either,â he remarks, making you roll your eyes.
âNo, your small dick is one of the reasons I am here.â
Bucky dramatically touches his heart. âSo youâre using me for my sex skills!â
âAs if you donât beg me to use you. Come on, put that mouth to good use before Nat comes after us.â
He doesnât disappoint as he finally rips your underwear off, just like you fantasized about, and you use this as the perfect opportunity to fish for more.
âWhat happened, Jamie? So eager. Arenât you a little good-â
The word boy comes out as a moan when you feel his index finger curled up inside you suddenly.
âWhat happened, honey? Too big for you?â
âDick!â
âYouâll get that. I just need to erase the memories of having little pencils in here. That must have been traumatic.â
âYouâre such a jerk!â You snort, but heâs right. It was really bad.
Bucky shrugs, finally kneeling properly between your legs before lifting them on his shoulders. God, yes!
âGonna give my pussy some loving.â
âD-didnât know you have a pussy, James.â
He smiles against your inner thigh. âI certainly keep what I lick.â
âEww, what the fuck.â
He snorts, kissing your slit. âI am joking, baby. Tried to imitate one of those dicks you thought you could replace me with.â
Petty fucking bitch! You grab him by his hair and push him closer to your pussy.
âShut the fuck up and eat!â
His tongue feels like heaven, indeed, on your clit. Youâve lost count of how many times you remembered him eating you out so you can come this year. He's just so good at eating your pussy.
You let out a satisfied sigh when he adds a second finger. You start to feel like before⌠like you and Bucky are still married and with no problem. Like you're happy. He makes you so happy. Made.
So you stare at his hair and stroke it as he sucks on your clit, completely squashed between your thighs, and try to hold back your tears.
When he adds his third finger and starts tracing eight figures on your clit with his tongue before he flattens it, you know youâre about to come.
There is something about the way he always manages to make you vulnerable even if itâs not intentional, to cut you open and get in... and you donât want it to be over. You canât let him go again after tonight. Youâd suffocate.
Your efforts to delay your orgasm and not tear up are futile because when he sucks a little harder, you come and start sobbing somehow. The orgasm is strong and even though youâd want to watch Bucky, you close your eyes, letting yourself go, and shut your mind down for a second. Everything feels so overwhelming. So amplifiedâŚ
Youâre grateful he doesnât stop fucking you with his fingers, either, even though you felt him hesitating when he heard you crying. You really needed this.
As soon as you finish, you drop your legs, furiously trying to wipe your face. He knows the difference between crying because of a crazy orgasm and you being emotional. He instantly gets back on the bed next to you and pulls you into the tightest hug youâve had in two years.
âGod, Iâm...â You donât know how to continue this phrase. You should not feel sorry for crying and youâre not pathetic for it. âI m-missed you so much, Bucky. Why did you give up?â
You feel his warm breath on your forehead. âI never gave up, baby, I swear.â
âB-but you did. You didnât even try for more than six months. When I told you...â You take a deep breath. âThat I want a divorce, you didnât even look at me. Once, Bucky! Not even onceâŚâ You show him your index finger. âYou simply agreed. You gave up on us. I was waiting for you to say: no, letâs try. No, Iâll communicate. Your words...â You sob. âYour words would have been enough for me. You should know that.â
âOh my god, baby, please, breathe!â He kisses your forehead over and over again. âI never gave up, I swear. I wanted to say no, I wanted to tell you all of that, but you asked me for divorce. It felt like you wanted out. You were tired of fighting... you were tired of me. And I didnât want to tell you to stay just so you could either stay with me out of pity or reject me. I would have died... To look at you and beg, and to see you detached.â
You shake your head into the crook of his neck. He cannot...
âHow would I be detached if I tried for six months? How would I get tired of you?â
âExactly. You tried for six months. I thought you snapped out of it...â
âOut of what?â You whisper, scared to say it louder, but he hears you anyway.
âOut of love.â
You immediately lift your head to look at him. Heâs crying, too. âBucky...â You bring your fingers to his cheeks and start to caress them.
âI just couldnât remember us like this. I couldnât look into your eyes and see you staring at me like Iâm a stranger.â
âJesus Christ, when did we fail to communicate this much?â
He knows you donât expect an actual answer, so instead of speaking, he holds you, and kisses you, and makes you giggle.
The more you move into his lap, the better you feel his erection pressing against your pussy. So close, yet so far.
He groans, placing his hands on your hips. âCareful.â
âWell, I donât want you to be careful. I want you to fuck me raw right now.â
âRight now? He snorts, using his position to his advantage and moving. And just like that, youâre suddenly pressed with your back against the bed, and his mouth covers the valley between your breasts. That didnât take a lot of convincing.
âDid you fuck anyone else without protection?â You ask unsure how to formulate it without it sounding a little weird. Youâre not even sure you want to know the answer if itâs positive, but still.
âNo. Only condoms and well... to be honest more my fist,â he chuckles, helping you get on your back again by bringing a pillow under your head. âI tested myself, of course.â
You nod, trying to hide your happiness. You selfishly wanted this: no one but you to feel him without any barrier.
âGood.â
âWhat about you?â
âNo one for me, either.â
You would laugh at his proud face if you didnât know he might use it to tease you later. You can use it too, though.
âCome on, baby, spread your legs for me. Daddyâs home.â
You laugh surprised, but you do what he says. You really missed having him between your legs.
Needy, you reach for his T-shirt, that for some reason is still on, and you tug it down, showing him you want it off.
He hesitates for a couple of seconds too long before grabbing his T-shirt by the neck.
âCome on, what did you do? Got a tattoo?â
You get your answer as soon as heâs finally naked.
âOh, God!â You instantly lift your hand so you can grab his necklace. âWhat the fuck, James...â
âI told you I never gave up on us.â
âSo youâre telling me youâve been keeping it on since we divorced?â
He blushes, looking away. âYeah.â
âEven when you were with other girls?â
Your heart is racing.
âNever took it off.â
You giggle, touching the surface of the ring over and over again.
âNo wonder why nothing worked.â
âI had no intention to make it work.â
You say nothing, just looking into his eyes and letting him see how fucking much you love him, how he could never be a stranger, and you kiss him, wrapping your legs around his ass to show him what you need.
âI want you to pound me, okay? I want to feel you for days, do you hear me? I am so wet and ready. Please, just fuck me!â
You shiver a little when you feel the back of his hand brushing against your clit while he brings his cock to your entrance.
âGonna make you mine again, alright? Gonna make you forget this year and everyone who,â He finally thrusts inside you. âTried to get you.â
Heâs thick. Really thick, and you canât believe how you managed to survive without this stretched-out feeling for a whole fucking year.
âI hate you so much!â
He snorts. âI am pretty sure you love me. Otherwise, I wouldnât have my cock inside you after one year.â
âThis is the problem!â You hiss when he pulls almost completely out. âOne year, Bucky!â
âAww!â He says a bit mockingly before thrusting all the way in again. Oh my God... you close your eyes. âIs this your bratty way of telling me you missed my small dick?â
âBratty? You think this is bratty?â You ask him sarcastically before bringing a hand to his ass. âHarder!â
âHarder, huh?â He quickly unwraps your legs and turns you on your belly before you can react.
You gasp, shocked by how fast he is and hating the emptiness, but he ignores it, bringing a pillow under your pussy.
âAss in the air, come on.â
You comply immediately, staring at his face from the side. He looks like heâs on a mission, with his hair already in all directions and the wedding band hanging around his neck.
The first thing you feel is his mouth on your ass cheek, licking on a spot before biting.
You hiss. âJames!â It hurts, not more than a spanking, but you werenât ready for that.
âMine.â
You snort, wiggling your ass. âYeah, yeah. Now gimme my cock.â
And he does. He so does, heâs not slowly entering you, no. He pushes in almost fully with only one thrust, making you bite into your pillow.
âYou missed that, didnât you? The way I fill you up is so good. The way...â He slaps your ass. âNo one can make you feel so good. No one can fuck you like the desperate whore you are for my cock.â
You moan loudly into the pillow. You love being called a whore like this. Because he is right and he is obsessed with it, anyway. âB-Bucky...â
âTell me whose cock you love? Tell me.â
Heâs thrusting so fast at this point that you can barely even hear him.
âBucky.â
âNo, no, no. That is not what you call me like this.â
âJames...â
He suddenly stops thrusting, and you whine, lifting your spinning head to look at him over your shoulder. No matter how much you try to tilt your hips to make him move, you fail.
âIf you want to get fucked, baby, you gotta call me the right-â
âDaddy. Daddy, daddy. Happy now?â
He rolls his eyes, obviously not that happy with your tone.
You smirk.
âI see you need a lot of battiness fucked out of you.â
âThen why are you not fucking me, daddy?â
âOh, goddamn it!â Heâs not holding back now, moving like he used to. âTell me, baby. Tell me you love me... that no one, fuck- no one is like me!â
His voice tinges with a hint of neediness... maybe even urge. His vulnerability takes you a little aback because itâs stronger than his mocking. Heâs genuinely seeking for reassurance as he gazes at you with a mixture of desire, desperation and longing. Heâs searching for validation in your eyes the way you were earlier, so you give it to him.
âYouâre the only one for me, J-James. I love you forever. I never... I n-never stopped!â You canât keep your head up a second longer as you drop it on your pillow, moaning.
âWeâre getting married tomorrow.â
You half-snort, half-moan. âW-we canât.â
âWe can.â The sound of his balls slapping against your pussy almost covers the sound of his voice.
âWe... we have to apply first.â
He spanks your ass again, and you scream, the sudden pain making you feel so good.
âSo wet for me. They stood no chance. T-they donât know how hard you want it.â
âDaddy, please... Please!â Youâre a moaning mess. You just need a little harder. Just a little.
Youâre not sure if youâre gonna have a voice after this. Heâs pounding you so hard.
âMy good, good girl.â Heâs squeezing your hips, and the sound of your skin slapping is echoing. âGod, gonna come for me? Jesus, wanna fill you up with my come too. Please, baby.â
You donât know when or how he manages to do it, but he sneaks one of his hands under your body and pinches your nipple. You gasp, the wave of pleasure hitting you as he keeps fucking you. You feel your body weakening when he says your name over andl over again, but you donât open your eyes for a while, letting him fuck you desperately while playing with your breast.
âGonna- fuck, take my come, wife! Take me!â
Heâs coming so much... surprisingly much even for him. You can feel him dripping down your thighs even when he slows down, then stops his movements before he falls on top of you as soon as he finishes.
âJames...â You groan. âYouâre heavy.â
He places a small kiss on your back, and you giggle.
âI love you.â
You melt, but he moves to the side before you can reach for his cheeks.
âI love you, too.â You kiss him. âSo much that I let you drag me out of my best friendâs wedding reception.â
Bucky snorts, brushing his nose against your face. âPretend all you want, I know you were bored as fuck.â You feel him slowly pulling out of you, and you whine. Itâs a little uncomfortable. âSorry, wifey.â
âIâm not your wife yet.â
âYet, but you were and you will be again this week.â He takes your ring finger into his mouth.
âBucky!â
âWhat? We need new rings.â
You try to pull out your finger. âNo, we donât. I have mine.â
âWe need...â
âHow about we use all that money for a vacation instead?â
âNeah, honeymoon is honeymoon.â
He finally lets your finger go. âWe are not buying other wedding bands.â
âI am not debating a new engagement ring, though.â
You roll your eyes, but you know itâs the best deal you can get.
âFine, a new engagement ring,â you agree while rolling ro his side and placing your head on his chest. âI donât wanna move.â
âDonât want to or canât?â
You decide to surprise him by biting a spot right above his nipple. He groans while you simply laugh.
âYou just canât be subtle, can you?â
âIf youâd wanted subtle youâd have gone for someone like Steve.â
âEww, Bucky. I have your come dripping out of me and you bring up Steve?â
âYou literally talked about Nat a sec ago.â
Then, as if a switch was flipped, your eyes widen. âOh shit, my phone!â
âWhere did you forget it?â Bucky asks casually, so used to gathering your things for you. You really missed that, too.
âTable. God... Do you think they know?â
âKnow what?â He giggles, raising both of you until your backs touch the headboard. âThat you dropped on your knees in the middle of the wedding to suck my cock? Or how I fucked you raw until you cried.â A sudden realization crosses his face. âYou asked me to fuck you raw. Are you... still on the pill?â
You roll your eyes. âYou think Iâd let you fuck me like this for the first time we talked to each other properly since we divorced if there was a big chance to get pregnant?â
âI assume you are still on the pill, donât be patronizing!â He kisses your nose, which he knows tickles you.
Ass...
âYou are asking a dumb question instead of getting your ass downstairs to bring me my phone.â
âHow is that dumb? I wanted to know if I should get you a pill or something.â
âSo you donât want babies with me!â You try not to laugh as you say it, biting your lip to keep your face serious.
âWhy do you act as if I told you I donât want a baby with you?â He chuckles when he sees you pouting. âWeâre just getting back together and no way youâd want a baby now. But if I am wrong, letâs go for it. I can give you a baby, just get off the pills.â
âYou donât give me a baby, James. We have a baby together!â
He sighs, getting off the bed to get his clothes back on. âObviously, but I am the one coming inside you. This is what I meant. I am all in. But we need some adapting time at least.â
You should stop this whole teasing-testing thing. You both have the same opinion after all. You might have a baby, and you know heâd be involved one hundred percent, but not now. Absolutely not.
âI know. Thanks for asking.â
âYouâre such a tease.â He snorts, putting on his pants. âBefore I go, do you want me to run you a bath or should I bring you a towel?â
âDo you plan on staying there?â
He turns his head to you instantly. âYeah, sure. I am gonna eat some steak and brag about fucking my wife.â
âAlright, alright. Bring me a snack and we can take a bath together. Actually,â you think about it better. âIâm gonna clean up and wait for you.â
âYou want me to fuck you again, donât you?â He asks as he fixes his jacket.
âWhy? Is this all you could give me?â
âOh, fuck you!â
âSure.â You spread your legs at the same time you grab your own breasts, making him groan. Itâs so easy to get to him. And itâs hilarious.
âJesus, youâre planning to kill me.â
âNot you acting as if itâs the first time this happened.â
âIt is the first time in over a year, baby.â
You feel yourself softening again. âTrue. Now, please, please, please, donât give them any details and bring me a snack.â
âWhat snack?â
âAnything, make me a plate, I donât care.â He nods before reaching for the keys. âOh, and Bucky? Tell your flavor of the month you donât need her anymore.â
âI told you she is not-â
âAnd tell Nat Iâll make it up to her!â You interrupt him before he can finish his sentence. You donât need him to defend a random girlâs honor.
âYouâre so jealous.â
âLock the door!â
You giggle satisfied when he closes the door and let yourself scream out of happiness while staring at the bite he left on your ring finger. Mrs. Barnes never got out of style.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes fanfic#ex-husband!bucky barnes#divorced!bucky barnes#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes fluf#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x you#marvel fanfic#marvel fanfiction#my fanfics#my stories
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Text
Red
Pairing:Â Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader
Word Count:Â ~2.4k
Warnings:Â sexual assault (not quite rape), angst, feeling uncomfortable by a man touching you, minor fluff at the end
Summary:Â A mission calls for you to find your inner vixen to get information from a man who is known to be a womanizer. Things donât go according to plan, so Sam has to step up and take matters into his own hands. When Bucky hears about it, he turns to you knowing you need comfort in the safest way possible.
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The short black dress stares back at you in your closet with a knowing look. You donât want to wear this. you donât want to go on this mission. Youâd rather spend the night cuddled up next to your boyfriend and watch movies. Instead, youâre going on a mission to essentially be a vixen, not in the literal sense where you have sex with someone but in the sense where you have to seduce the target to get what you want.
It's not ideal but this is the job.
The man in question is a womanizer and is high in the weapons world. Heâs one of the most well-known weapons dealers across the country. He mostly deals out of his club but whenever authorities raid his club, they canât find anything to nail him with. Thatâs when they called your team to do what they clearly canât.
You yank the dress off the hanger and quickly put it on. You havenât worn this since before you started going out with Bucky. You can remember wearing this to the club with your friends. The material is a bit tighter than you remember but itâll help you get what you want. You shift your boobs to make them pop more without having them completely spill out the top. You walk to your vanity and sift through your makeup.
Someone knocks on your door before walking in. You smile when you see itâs your boyfriend.
âHey, baby.â He has a frown etched onto his face, deeper than usual. âWhatâs wrong?â
âI donât like this plan.â Youâre the only one who can get close to Mezzi. Anyone else would just tip him off. âNot that I donât want you flirting with another man, but Mezzi is bad news. He treats women like shit. I donât want to see you get hurt.â
You set down your makeup brush and walk over to him. You wrap your arms around his neck and his hands automatically settle on your waist.
âIâm a professional, baby, and a really skilled spy. Iâve gotten bigger, more tougher men to talk for less. Iâve done this before. Plus, Sam and John will be there if anything goes wrong.â
The mention of the blonde man makes his frown deeper.
âI donât like that John is going.â
âYou donât like anything he does.â
âThereâs something dirty about him. Heâs not a good man.â
You pull Bucky down toward you and kiss him, keeping the kiss short and sweet.
âYou have nothing to worry about. Iâll be fine. Itâs just another mission.â
Bucky slides one of his hands into your hair and kisses you for longer this time.
âOkay, I trust you,â he whispers against your lips.
âGood,â you grin and peck his lips once more.
You finish getting ready and leave with Sam and John to the car. Bucky leads his own team of soldiers who will wait outside until the cue is given. He would have gone in with you but Mezzi knows Buckyâs face. He would have ruined the entire mission before it could begin.
âOkay, hereâs the plan,â you say. âIâll go in first and distract him while you two go to the bar and pretend to be just like any other customer. Once Iâm close, Iâll casually ask how my friend heard about his weapons and would like to buy some. Hopefully, heâll be drunk enough to say where he keeps them which we would call in Buckyâs team.â
âSounds good to me,â Sam shrugs.
âWe need a safe word,â you say.
âWhy?â John asks.
âBecause Iâm a woman going in to seduce a womanizer who looks like he doesnât like the word no. So, I need a safe word or Iâm not going in.â
âSeems fair,â Sam says.
âFine, what is it?â
âRed. Iâll work it into the conversation but if you hear me say that, move in immediately.â
John doesnât say anything but nods in agreement. When you get to the club, you go in first. The place is already crowded with a bunch of people but you push past them all to get to the far end of the club. There is a section separated by curtains and guards which can only mean itâs the VIP section. Through the large slit in the curtains, you see Mezzi sitting back with both arms on the back of the couch.
Bingo.
You walk closer to the VIP section and start to move your body to the music. Sam and John walk in and head to the bar like theyâre supposed to while keeping a close eye on you. You look up and meet Mezziâs eyes through the slit and smirk at him. Youâve got his attention. You run your hands down your body and move sensually to the music. He leans forward and licks his bottom lip, already entranced by you.
He calls for one of his guards and whispers something to him while maintaining eye contact with you. The guard leaves and heads over to you, and you pull your eyes from Mezzi to look at the guard.
âBoss wants to see you.â
âLead the way,â you grin.
He allows you to pass into the VIP section, and Mezzi leans back with a lazy smirk on his face.
âUp close, youâre even more beautiful,â he grins. âDrink?â
âDonât mind if I do.â
He gets up and walks over to the mini bar to make your drink. You watch him carefully to make sure he doesnât put anything in your drink, and you relax when he doesnât. This place is so secluded from the rest of the club due to the curtains so anything can happen in here and no one would know about it. Luckily, you have Sam and John in your ear so youâll be able to call for them if things get out of hand.
âThank you,â you smile and accept the drink. He takes a seat next to you, a little bit closer than your liking. Itâs okay. Pretend heâs Bucky. âI have to say, I donât think Iâve ever seen anyone so handsome before.â
âOh, baby, there is no one else like me. Youâve come to the right section. I can blow your mind without even touching you.â
âOh, really? Lucky me,â you giggle.
Mezzi reaches out and runs his hands over your exposed thighs, and you picture Buckyâs hands touching you. This isnât the first time youâve had to do this for a mission, but it is the first time since youâve been with Bucky. You respect him too much to do things like this, but there was no other way to get close to Mezzi.
âGod, youâre so sexy. Best looking girl here.â
âYouâre just saying that.â
His hands briefly slide up your dress before he moves it back down. âNo, Iâm not. When I see something I like, I make sure she knows about it.â
âHereâs to new opportunities,â you grin and hold your drink out to him. He raises his own drink and clinks it with yours, but he only takes a sip. Heâs careful not to intake too much alcohol, especially when heâs involved in so much illegal shit. âI was hoping to talk to you tonight.â
âYeah? About what?â
âI have this friend who was asking about you.â
âWhat friend?â
âOh, just a friend.â You reach over and dance your fingers across his chest, slightly sliding them through the buttons of his shirt. âHe says you have a certain shipment heâd like to buy from you. He wouldnât tell me more. He says youâd know what I was talking about.â
Mezziâs attitude switches but itâs very subtle. You can see it in his eyes. He does not like that question. He slides his hand up your body and rests his palm over the hollowness of your throat. Not hurting you but letting you know he can hurt you if you piss him off.
âWell, you tell your friend if he wants something I have, then he should be the one asking for it, not sending his whore after me.â
âNow, thatâs not very nice.â
He smiles but it doesnât reach his eyes. âOh, baby, it was a compliment.â
He pulls you in closer so that youâre practically in his lap, and you suddenly grow uncomfortable. He has one thing on his mind and itâs not talking.
âOut of curiosity, whatâs the shipment?â you ask, trying to get his mind somewhere else.
âEnough talking. You clearly came here for one thing and one thing only. I deliver on all of my promises, and I promise to make your time here worthwhile.â
He slides his hand up your dress and rests it very close to the one place you only ever want one man to go: Bucky. He leans in and presses kisses to your neck so lightly, and thatâs when you panic. No mission is worth feeling like this. You donât want to be here anymore.
âRed,â you blurt out.
âWhat?â he asks and pulls away.
âI like your red shirt. Itâs very silky.â
âIt looks better on the ground.â
Samâs earpiece has been bothering him since he got here, so heâs trying to fix it. He should have gotten a new one when he had the chance since itâs not the first time this has acted up. Johnâs earpiece, however, works just fine. He hears your cry for help yet he does⌠nothing. He looks toward the VIP section and sips his drink casually.
âMy favorite color is red,â you say with slight panic.
John canât give away their position because Mezzi hasnât given the location of his weapons yet. If they raid now, they might not have anything. Sam tweaks a few parts before putting it back in his ear. He smiles when it works but itâs lost when he hears your panicked voice.
âHas she been saying this? Why are you just sitting there?â Sam asks.
He gets up to rescue you but John grabs his arm.
âHe hasnât told her where the shipment is.â
âI donât fucking care. Get your hand off me.â
Sam yanks his arm away and leaves to come to your rescue. John, on the other hand, finishes his drink leisurely.
Mezzi has you pinned to the couch with your dress bunched up at your hips. The only thing separating him from rape is a flimsy piece of cotton. You wish Bucky was here.
âPlease stop,â you say, close to tears. âRed!â
He is about to silence you with a hand to your throat when he freezes. Sam places a gun to the back of his head.
âLet go of her.â Mezzi does and you scramble as far as you can get from him. You shake slightly and pull your dress down as much as it can go. âIf you donât want to get your head blown off, Iâd suggest you tell us where your shipment is right now.â
âYouâre bluffing,â he chuckles.
Sam moves the gun away from his head and aims it at his leg. He shoots once, and Mezzi jerks back in pain. The gun has a silencer on it so no one can hear how much Mezzi is in pain. The music drowns out his shouts of pain, and Sam moves the gun back to his head.
âAm I bluffing now?â
âIn the basement, man. In the tunnels.â
âCome in, Buck. Youâre up. Itâs in the tunnels below,â Sam says into the earpiece.
âCopy that.â
âAre you okay?â Sam asks you while keeping the gun on Mezzi.
âI think so,â you whisper.
âGo. Weâve got it handled from here.â
You donât think twice about leaving. All you want is to go home, shower, and cry.
âShame,â Mezzi groans in pain. âShe looks like her pussy would be tight.â
Sam rears his fist back and punches Mezzi hard in the jaw. So hard that Mezzi passes out right there and then. Bucky and his men found the shipment and were able to arrest Mezzi and his men on the spot. With that much evidence, no judge would ever think about letting them go. The adrenaline has worn off and the shakes have replaced it. You were almost raped. You were sexually assaulted. You might be a trained spy but that all went out the window the second Mezzi forced you on your back.
The second Bucky heard about what happened, pissed doesnât even cover what heâs feeling. Sam had to tell Bucky what John did because it was wrong of him to hear your safe word and do nothing about it. Bucky storms into home base and makes a beeline for John. He grabs his collar and yanks him violently toward him.
âYou heard her safe word and did nothing about it?â
âI knew she had it handled! He didnât tell her where the shipment was.â
âI oughta kill you,â Bucky growls. He grabs Johnâs throat with his metal hand and squeezes. âSheâs my girlfriend, you bastard.â
John is no match for Bucky so he doesnât even try to fight back. Bucky is about to do more damage when Sam walks into the room.
âSheâs asking for you, Buck.â
Bucky lets John go, and the latter coughs violently. âGet him the hell out. He better be gone when I get back.â He leaves the room and walks into your bedroom. The shower is going in your bathroom, and he looks inside to see you sitting on the shower floor with your knees to your chest. âY/N?â You donât reply. He knows how scared you must be. âHe canât hurt you anymore, baby.â
Again, you donât respond to him. He steps inside the running shower and turns off the water, not caring if he has water on his clothes. He wraps you in your fluffy towel and scoops you into his arms. He brings you to the bed and sits you down before going into your closet. He grabs one of his big hoodies and dresses you in it.
The second he has you in his arms, you bury your head in his chest and cry.
âShh, Iâm right here. Youâre safe now. I wonât let anything happen to you.â
âI was so scared,â you whimper. âI thought⌠I just wanted you.â
âIâm here now. I wonât let him touch you again. Youâre safe now.â
Bucky smooths down your hair and allows you to cry as much as you need to. He wonât tell you what John did because that would only make you feel worse.
âPlease stay with me,â you whisper.
âIâm not going anywhere. You can rest knowing youâre protected. Youâre safe now.â
âI love you,â you say and snuggle closer to him.
âI love you. Get some rest. Iâll be here the whole time.â
Thatâs all the comfort you need. He makes you feel safe, and thatâs all you can ever ask for.
x
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