#also the colors on this edition at least are a bit funky it was hard to get pics a lot of the time

[eddiediaaz]

hi lovely!! do you have any tips on making cool fun and sexy typography?

hey joanna!! this made me giggle haha, i'm not quiiiite sure how to answer that, but here are some tips i keep in my when i do typography, and some examples:

FONTS

don't be afraid to "shop" for fonts and try funky fonts you've never used/seen. i often try so many before settling. i almost always use at least 2 different font for gifsets, even 3 sometimes. i think a good font pairing can do a lot for a gif. it's usually something like:

serif + cursive/funky fonts (example)

sans serif + cursive/funky fonts (example)

serif + sans serif fonts (example)

two different cursive/funky fonts (example)

or even simply the same font but all caps + all lowercase (example)

in case you're unsure where too start or want inspiration, here's a great resource: usergif's font pairing guide and its fonts page

BLEND MODES & LAYER STYLES

i think playing around with different blend modes and layer styles will always elevate your typography game, in my opinion. it's usually a bit more dynamic than just an opaque color. tho this minimalist typography can also be really good.

when you double click on a text layer, you get all the layer style options, as well as the blend modes. a very popular layer style is setting the layer's blending option to difference, paired with a color and/or gradient overlay (often set to multiply/color dodge). a drop shadow is also important so the text is more easily readable. we often see a black soft drop shadow, but don't hesitate to be creative with it, for example a thick, hard line, colorful drop shadow.

i feel like this step often takes the most time for me because the possibilities are endless. definitely play around with layer styles, especially drop shadow, color overlay, gradient overlay, stroke. and also try different blending modes for these settings.

as for the layer's blend mode, also definitely play around with them. and keep in mind that the text's color will also give a different result, it doesn't have to be white + blend mode set to difference, even tho this is a classic that works well.

TEXT WRAPING & POSITION

a great feature on photoshop is definitely the text warping tool. to access it, right click on a text layer and go "warp text". from there you'll get a few different styles and setting sliders. my favorites are flag and wave (example). you can always go back to edit these settings once they're done by right clicking again. and you can even keyframe/animate these settings!

typography doesn't always have to be centered and straight, i often prefer it on a side and rotated a little. you can easily rotate typography by selecting the layer(s) and hitting ctrl + T. you can also play with the skew and pespective after hitting ctrl + T by right clicking the canvas and clicking on either. these will give different ways to move your text.

SIZING

i love playing around with different font sizes, it makes the typography more interesting in my opinion, and it's a way to emphasize some words.

so for that reason i usually put each word on a different layer so i can edit each word separately. sometimes i will also put each letter on a different layer, because it can be interesting to offset/rotate some letters sometimes (example) (another example).

i often pair a quite small serif or sans serif font with a much bigger funky font (example). and often that bigger font will also have different sized words (example). i play around a lot with this!

ADDED EFFECTS

there are some things than can be done to enhance typography:

adding a colorful rectangle block behind the text (example)

using text symbols such as quotation marks or backets (example)

using lines around the text (example) (another example)

these can definitely bring typography to a different level

MORE RESOURCES

great font website

usergif's typography tag

my fonts tag

this is all i can think of right now, i hope it helps :D if you have any question on a specific text effect let me know, i can definitely make a tutorial!

[inkofamethyst]

October 24, 2023

Sudden urge sudden urge. The train ride tiktok, Nicole Rudolph's fantasy photoshoot, the chilly weather, me being a ginger for the next four weeks, watching the relaxing walk across Skyrim while braiding my hair, me missing being involved in the performing arts, the excitement closely followed by frustration I feel when I find a black woman on pinterest dressed in a style I only really call fantasy-bounding and click on it and don't see any other black women/woc in the recommended pins. All of this and probably more has culminated in the sudden urge to become part of the representation I'm not seeing. I don't really have the clothes for it. I'm not terribly comfortable in front of or behind a camera. It's not even that I want to become an ~influencer~. I just want to take pretty pictures. I want to see more women of color in fantasy. (It could be that I'm not looking hard enough.)

I think maybe I just need to get back into reading. A good new adult fantasy trilogy or something.

I mean, I have been having a bit more fun with my outfits, and it's honestly mostly thanks to my funky earrings. I've done "fairy princess hiding from her enemies in the corporate world of a different plane" and "dryad who's way too good with words for her own good" and other little mini stories that no one would ever be able to guess but they make me happy early in the morning and also at random times during the day.

Did my intro talk today, managed to stay within time. I... okay so like people told me I did well, and I'm going to try to believe them even though I feel like I didn't seem like I came off as very knowledgeable :/ Like I got a lot of questions I feel like, which is fine, I guess people were interested and engaged, but I didn't.. I feel like I couldn't answer everything particularly thoroughly or satisfactorily. And it's like, the fact that I didn't seem to know everything inside and out about my topics??? And that I couldn't do the on-the-spot thinking to answer the questions (which I've always been bad at tbf)??? Idk that just feels like failure to me idk idk. I dunno I'm going to try to minimize my full reaction until Thursday when I meet with my advisor again since I imagine we'll chat about it a bit.. It's like other people from the audience were answering questions for me. And I guess you could look at it from a positive light too, right, that the department isn't very sink-or-swim, but that's not how I feel about it, you know? I don't feel like it was awful, I just feel like it could've gone better.

[edit, next morning: for some context, I was talking about paleoanthropology in front of one of the top evolutionary skeletal biologists in the world then switched to population genetics and the audience contained members from the lab of one of the top population geneticists in the world. plus my current research is outside of both those fields. with this context, it's probably fair to say that I could not have won in this game no matter how hard I tried -_- RIGGED. RACIST. they always tryna keep black women down (for legal reasons that is a joke)]

Whatever the opposite of a post-performance high is, I've got that goin on.

Today I'm thankful to be done with my intro talk.

I mean hey at least I looked hot. New 'do, sleeveless mockneck, outfit (and hair!!!!) colors matched my presentation theme,,,, I chickened out of going for chocolate wasted, but I went for lava cake gloss which still worked, just not quite as striking.

[pianta]

What’s your workflow like? I’m a process nerd so I always wonder how artist get from a blank page to finished art. Are you all digital? Do you work in a single document?

ah interesting question ! ill try my best to explain it :0

- i start with making a moodboard for my ideas, finding color palettes, finding references, taking my own ref pics, do a bit of research etc to get inspired. so i don't have to do that during

- once i feel ready i start sketching in paint tool SAI or procreate, sometimes traditionally if i wanna get a lot of different sketches down like thumbnails for composition or character design iterations. making sure the sketching part is  comfortable is very important to me. it needs to be fun and feel right, otherwise i wont finish it. if the sketch doesn’t feel right, i might just drop it or take a break, come back to it later, etc

- when the sketch is ready i do my lineart in paint tool sai, my favorite brush is on there and its just the most comfortable for me to work in. lineart is really where i shut off my brain and just get it done, good for low energy or bad mental health days

- lineart done? i move the file to clip studio paint and lay down flat colors really quick with the close and fill tool. each color/section on their own layer. for example skin is on its own layer, as is hair and clothes. i make quick changes in color by editing the hue/saturation to my liking. then i begin shading and blend it with textured brushes. i really love cloud blenders for shading lol, that’s my go-to

- when i’m satisfied with the colors its time to add mood lighting. its usually rim light and an overlay layer to bring it all together. if i’m feeling funky i also add reflective lighting, very subtilty. play around with the hue/saturation/luminosity sliders until i get the right results and make it pop

- then i spend some time coloring the lineart to fit the colors

- then lastly, the most fun part: adding sparkles, glitter, stars, droplets, stamps, any glowy bits to give it that final oomph ✨

im one of those people who has a hard time knowing when a drawing is finished, so i could tinker on it indefinitely lmao! when im done, i do color management and check the art on multiple screens like my laptop, tv, phone to make sure i like the colors everywhere (my least favorite part lol). anyways this is what works for me!

[jqupohtia]

Edit in 2023: This post is now out of date, I have reworked some stuff with timelines, things I forgot would affect things, etc. Will be making a fresh post for this soon.

And now it’s time for my thoughts on J’qupoh/G’raha. Mostly under a cut because it ended up LONGER than the rest of the Scions combined.

J’qupoh’s first thought on actually meeting G’raha Tia was “what a try-hard little brat.” He was not impressed with the run around he was given with the aethersand, nor the dramatic entrance. But he pranked the little shit later and called it even.

For a week G’raha dealt with little things like quills or his aetherometer going missing only for people to insist they were right in front of him. No matter how many times he would reach for the spot they pointed to nothing would be there. Or his gear would be temporarily dyed eye searing colors that apparently only he could see. (Conjury may be what J’qupoh is most known for, but illusions were the first magic he learned and excelled at.)

Nothing was permanent or would interfere with something's function of course, because J’qupoh’s not a complete asshole.

After that they started to get along, between J’qupoh genuinely finding G’raha’s knowledge and ramblings about the Allagans interesting and G’raha being an enthusiastic audience for J’qupoh’s stories of his adventures and the things he’d witnessed with the Echo, especially when punctuated by little illusory images when J’qupoh had a hard time describing something and preferred to just try to show it. They spent a lot of the downtime during the expedition together, at least what J’qupoh could spare. Square’s timeline is kind of funky (you really want me to believe Alphinaud only had the Crystal Braves active for a couple weeks at most?????), but it feels like the expedition would have occurred over a few months? So time enough to become fairly good friends, and leave J’qupoh checking in with the Sons frequently in case of any changes with the tower after it’s sealed.

Attraction started with the Exarch though he had suspicions it was actually G’raha under the hood. At least once he got over being mad about the Scion Snatching. The calm confidence and air of authority got to him, but also the little moments of care: ensuring J’qupoh had a meal waiting for him in his room, personally checking in with him to see how he was. Always making a point that he was asking and not ordering an

The sandwiches and tea being the start of him realizing it. Then he began using his downtime to check in with the Exarch, especially on learning that the man went huge stretches of time without rest. He’d return the favor and bring him meals, taking advantage of the guard being instructed to always let the Exarch’s most recent guest pass. He needled Lyna for her grandfather’s favorites so he could find something he can actually make or obtain. He asked the Exarch for stories about establishing the Crystarium, and fell for the love and pride he could hear when the Exarch spoke about his people and how far they’d come. And there was the occasional bit of flirting, wherein J’qupoh would come in confident and then completely lose his shit anytime it was reciprocated.

And of course came the reveal, and he was...a little conflicted. He suspected the whole time it was G’raha, but getting the confirmation and then the details of just how far this man went to save not only their future but him specifically as well? G’raha referring to him as his inspiration? He wasn’t sure he could possibly measure up to whatever G’raha saw him as, especially every time he made a comment along the lines of wondering if he’ll be worth mentioning in the Warrior’s story. J’qupoh wanted to shake him and tell him that he’d feel lucky to be included in G’raha’s story. Fighting some light wardens and almost dying didn’t feel comparable to the literal centuries G’raha sacrificed and the planned suicidal sacrifice after so they’d all live.

Though J’qupoh did make a point of spending as much time as possible with him, trying to catch up with him as G’raha rather than the Exarch and to try to keep him from working himself to death.. At least up until G’raha once again awoke within the Tower, but this time to an incredibly relieved Warrior who was just waiting for the excuse to sweep him off his feet and carry him back to the Rising Stones. Or at least down to the chocobo waiting at the base of tower, sorry Raha but even you will seem heavy after a while and he might have been getting a little carried away back there. Yes his arms are killing him, no you’re not allowed to make fun of him.

By the end of Endwalker I think they’ve worked through that (at least with G’raha seeming to get out of that hero worship/ “I just want to be part of your story” mindset) but they were still dancing around actually being in a relationship. At least until the incredibly cheesy Valentione’s Day confession

[hatterstan-shameblog]

Nobody asked for this but I'm gonna do it anyways...

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Fluff Alphabet: Takeru/Aguni Edition

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

A = Attractive what do they find attractive about the other?

Takeru: only reason he let Aguni wear regular clothes and not swimwear is because he saw ARM in that tank top and was like "oh damn okay 😳." So, y'know, that. (And he'll never admit it but he kinda likes how Aguni is a little bit taller than he is....) Also likes that Aguni has a really dry, deadpan sense of humor—he ways finds a way to make Takeru laugh, even when he's not really trying.

Aguni: I think the physical aspect of things wasn't really a make-or-break for him at first—like, yeah, Takeru's a good-looking guy, but that's secondary. He liked how Takeru is such a live-wire, very loud and colorful and seemingly fearless, no matter what kind of trouble they got into. (But also...he likes the hair. That's a thing for him.)

B = Baby do they want a family? why/why not?

Takeru: If they end up with one somehow, then, sure. But, like. He's not going out of his was to make it a thing. (But also, he has his cat, Ziggy, who he calls his baby, so...)

Aguni: Would secretly love to be a dad but is too worried he might mess the kid up or something. Is more than happy to be 'unofficial parent' to the neighborhood kids, though. Handing out ice pops to the kids that show up at the shop, keeping an eye out and telling them to get home before dark, maybe even showing one or two of them how to throw a better curveball...you know. Real Hallmark channel shit. (And yes, for those who were wondering: Ziggy the cat loves him and often curls up on his lap while he watches TV)

C = Cuddle how do they cuddle?

They don't really "cuddle" outside of bed. Just kinda sit next to each other, shoulder to shoulder, no big deal. But in bed, Aguni lies on his back with his arm sorta outstretched while Takeru...well, my man is worm on a string but OFF the string, he just flops all sorts of ways and a lot of them don't look comfortable but he falls asleep in minutes so whatever.

D = Dates what are dates with them like?

I don't think they do "dates"—they've got a long-term thing going on, so they often end up on the couch eating takeout and watching movies. I think they'd go to the movie theater sometimes (and talk shit for the entire film lol) and every once in a while grab dinner somewhere nice...but, usually because they have some cool limited-time-only dessert item that Takeru insists they try. (And Aguni pretends to be upset about having to get dressed up and go out, but is actually rather pleased to have a little romance...and get something to satisfy his sweet tooth.)

E = Everything you are my ____ (e.g my life, my world…)

Aguni: Emergency Medical Contact

Takeru: Co-Signer On The Apartment Lease

F = Feelings when did they know they were falling in love?

Takeru: About a week after Aguni (drunkenly) confessed his crush. Literally spent a whole week like, "Wow, it's a shame I don't love him back. He's so kind and handsome and smart and funny...too bad, I guess..." until one night he sat up straight in bed and said "Hold up." He then immediately called Aguni and began demanding why Aguni didn't tell him he was in love with him this whole time.

Aguni: They had been friends since they were kids, so it's hard to say when his feelings went from "you're my best friend" to something different. But, once he figured it out, he swore never to mention it because that could complicate their friendship.

G = Gentle are they gentle? If so, how?

Takeru: Yes and no. He's got a bad case of "grabby hands" and often yanks Aguni to and fro to look at something or whatever. Just zero respect for the man's personal space. But otherwise...I imagine he's not particularly rough or gentle, just kind of normal. EXCEPT when it comes to the emotional stuff—like, the real heavy things. I think he's very gentle with that, not asking too many questions and just sort of taking care of him where he can.

Aguni: Generally gentle—physically, emotionally, whatever. But I do think that he's confrontational, like when there's an issue, he comes straight out and asks Takeru what's going on. Even corners him, sometimes. He seems like a "no bullshit" guy, and since Takeru is "Mr. 99% Bullshit" he's gotta deal with it as best he can.

H = Hand/Hold how do they like to hold hands?

The only time they "hold hands" is when Takeru is grabbing Aguni's wrist to drag him somewhere (or run away lol) and when Aguni is pulling Takeru's hand back to stop him from touching something...

I = Impression first impression/s

I headcanon that they met very young, like grade school age. After school, in the park, where Takeru was chilling in a tree and Aguni walked by and he was like "Hey, there's a spider up here, wanna see?" and Aguni is like "Not really, I don't like bugs..." Now, Takeru, being "weird bug kid extraordinaire" can't believe his strange little ears and hops down from the tree and starts explaining why bugs are so cool and that Aguni is wrong...and Aguni listens as this funky, tiny firecracker just talks his damn ear off. Aguni liked how excited Takeru got about things, and Takeru liked how Aguni actually listened to him. And they were fast friends after that!

J = Joker are they into pulling pranks?

Takeru fucks around all the time...and doesn't often find out, because Aguni tolerates all his antics. (To a certain point, but still.) Every once in a while, Aguni will tell some harmless little lie just to watch Takeru freak out—he told him once that Lady Gaga was leaving the music scene forever, and Takeru screamed so loud the neighbors filed a noise complaint.

K = Kisses how do they kiss?

I think they most often do quick pecks—at the breakfast table, when they get home from work. You know. Domestic stuff. But when it's not like that...I think 9/10 times it's Takeru initiating, and Aguni reciprocates by wrapping his arms around him in a big hug (because he likes it but also to keep that skinny little weirdo from wiggling so damn much, he's always moving, he can't just be still—)

L = Love who says I love you first?

Neither! I don't think they really say it at all! Why say something that doesn't need to be said? (At least, that's how they see it...)

M = Memory their favorite moment together

Aguni: It's not really a memory, but...just how they have breakfast together some mornings. Sipping coffee, discussing whatever's going on in the world, the general "togetherness" that comes with it is one of his favorite feelings.

Takeru: The time they spent a full 24 hours in a karaoke booth singing 80's hits and knocking back tequila shots and ordering way too much food.

N = Nickel do they spoil? do they buy the person they love everything?

Takeru: Absolutely buys stuff for Aguni all the time. Mostly random snacks, or little knick-knacks that catch his eye. And also clothes, but...Aguni doesn't always approve.

Aguni: Doesn't buy Takeru stuff BUT leaves vases of flowers he grew on the table for Takeru to find.

O = Orange what color reminds them of their other half

Anything bright and obnoxious reminds Aguni of Takeru—red in particular, which also happens to be Takeru's favorite. And Takeru thinks Aguni has calm and soothing blue-green vibes. Like the ocean, beautiful and serene, but also dark and capable of incredible destruction.

P = Petnames what pet names do they use?

Takeru: All of them. Darling, babe, sweetheart (but he calls everyone those lol). Aguni-specific ones are always over-the-top and ridiculous like "brightest star in all of the heavens..." and he always gets an eye-roll for his efforts.

Aguni: Absolutely does not use pet names. Just says "hey you" or something. Once called Takeru "babe" and Takeru had to stop washing dishes and sit down because he was laughing so hard.

Q = Quaint what is their favorite non-modern thing?

Takeru: I feel like he would collect a ton of vintage stuff—clothes, records, just random little bits and bobs he comes across. But his favorite is definitely his record player—it belonged to his dad, and he keeps it in a place of honor in the hat shop.

Aguni: A set of very old and well-cared-for gardening tools. Takeru got them for him for his birthday, and he legit treasures them.

R = Rainy Day what do they like to do on a rainy day?

Lay on the couch and do literally nothing. Takeru gets the left end, Aguni takes the right, and they binge trash TV shows all day. (And also they make box-mix brownies and eat them straight out of the pan. It's "their thing.")

S = Sad how do they cheer themselves/each other up

Takeru: Aside from all his self-destrictive behaviors (binge-drinking, dangerous situations, etc.) he just really needs a good laugh. And Aguni somehow always manages to make him laugh with an unexpected, deadpan comment. Also, he makes Takeru actually talk through his problems instead of ignoring them...

Aguni: if he's in a bad mood, you just need to let him work through it on his own. He hates being "talked down to" and feels that most attempts at cheering up are cheap, so most people don't attempt. Buf...Takeru is not "most people" and breaks out his most ridiculous jokes to try to get Aguni to crack a smile.

T = Talking what do they love to talk about?

Other people! You know Takeru is the "XOXO Gossip Girl" of the neighborhood, but Aguni...he's like a little old church lady and ADORES hearing all the latest drama.

U = Unencumbered What helps them relax?

Both of them have the same method of relaxation and it's...bubble baths! Aguni does a basic, skin soothing soak and just hangs out in the warm water with a book or maybe just his thoughts to keep him company. But Takeru? He's got some fancy bath soaps, and he takes in a glass of wine and lights a few candles and does a face mask and it's a whole EVENT.

V - Very thoughts about each other

Takeru: Thinks Aguni needs to loosen up and take more risks...but also just loves the guy to pieces.

Aguni: Kinda wishes Takeru would calm tf down sometimes...but also knows that it's just how the guy is and wouldn't dare change him.

W = Wedding when, how, where do they propose?

They're not really the marrying type! They just have a mutual understanding of commitment and that's that.

(But if they did have a wedding... I think it would be a relatively small affair with all their closest friends and family. Like a dinner party, but somewhere extra nice and with lots of good food and alcohol. Intimate and meaningful, with just enough "extra" to satisfy Takeru.)

X = Xylophone What’s their song?

"Total Eclipse of the Heart" because they hid out in a karaoke booth (different from the 24-hour event that Takeru cherishes so much) to es ape the Yakuza and Takeru sang it over and over to pass the time.

Y = You the ___ to my ___ (e.g the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)

"Breaking" to my "Entering." The "Assault" to my "Battery." (They both hate this sort of thing and try to come up with the worst answers possible lol)

Z = Zebra if they wanted a pet, what pet would they get?

They already have the cat, Ziggy, who is their perfect little angel.

[oneletterelliot]

Hot Sauce (NCT Dream) - liveblog reaction

Disclaimer: I did listen to this album once through already, plus the previews and whatnot, so this is not quite a first impression reaction.

Hot Sauce - Is it just me or do the opening shouty vocals not sound like any of the dreamies? Chenle’s line. I was NOT ready for how low his voice was? It sounds so good. The mumbly nonsense bit sounds kinda like that one song that gets memed a bunch, doesn’t it? The vocal quality to Jeno’s rapping here really reminds me of how he sounded in “Misfit.” I think I like it. Lots of good harmony moments. Renjun’s voice is lovely as always. I’m digging his and Chenle’s harmonizing in the bridge. Haechan’s high note. Yes. I like the beat of this song. Definitely makes me want to dance. Mark going, “I’m the one!” I’m a fan. More “Hot Sauce” thoughts here.

Diggity - Okay, so based of the dreamverse (that’s what it’s called, right?) video, I said here that I didn’t love the song but I liked the choreography a lot. Not loving the song is holding up for now, but it definitely has the vibe of one of those NCT songs that I don’t originally care for but the more I listen to it, the more I like it (see also “Punch”). It is pretty catchy. Renjun’s voice is swaying me, I’ll admit. Also I do really like the instrumental. I think it’s the rap I’m not sold on (yet). Is that Jisung’s low voice at 2:49 underneath the higher harmonies? I’m kind of into it. God, I didn’t even watch the dreamverse video that much but I can so clearly picture the choreo while listening to this song, it’s that good.

Dive Into You - I love this opening arpeggio instrumental. Thinking about Jisung’s voice again. I always forget how much I it. I really like the chorus, nice harmony and fun melody. Renjun’s and Haechan’s ad libs (I think it’s them at least) make me happy. 2:07, Jisung’s voice again? (Edit: I looked it up and yes, of course, it’s Jisung. It’s just that for a second I thought it could be Chenle because...) Tbh my brain has been rattled by Chenle’s lower register he displayed in “Hot Sauce.” I want more of it. Is that Renjun who closes the song? Sounds good. (Edit: It’s CHENLE actually. Uh-oh, Renjun, look out, he might be coming for your crown as my favorite NCT Dream vocalist lmao.)

My Youth - This song sounds SO coming-of-age movie. Of course it’s called “My Youth.” I know I keep gushing about Renjun’s voice, but he always sounds so good holy shit. Jisung’s voice again! I guess I’m gonna keep gushing about him too. Oh, Mark, you sound amazing too. Whoever is rapping at the 2 minute mark (Jaemin?), the cadence of this bit really reminds of the “baby, it’s 4:35 / maybe I’m barely alive” part of Maroon 5’s “Girls Like You” lmao. Mashup, when? The “ooh-ooh-ooh”s over the chorus sound amazing. Oh my god, the harmony in the bridge is SO GOOD. My brain couldn’t even focus on thinking about which of the Dream vocal trio was singing it, but damn, it was so good. (Edit: According to the lyric video I looked it, it was Renjun/Chenle harmony I was reacting to, and then a Chenle/Jisung harmony! Jisung’s harmonies this album have been really nice!!)

Rocket - Funky start. Supremely makes me want to dance. I think this would be a cha cha, but there is something a little samba-y about the beat. I know I, like, haven’t said anything about the vocals—I do like them—I’m just enjoying this beat / instrumental so much. No thoughts, only vibing. Digging the vocal mixing of the chorus. I’m shoulder-dancing in my seat as I listen to this. “Yeah, yeah!” Strong contender for my favorite song off the album. Shit, maybe it is a samba? Man, it’s been so long since I’ve gotten to ballroom dance :(

Countdown (3, 2, 1) - Oh, what time is it? IS THAT CHENLE’S ICONIC DOLPHIN LAUGH UNDER MARK’S VOICE? Renjun’s voice here reminds me a bit of “Ridin’,” so you know I like it because I believe in Renjun “Ridin’” supremacy. This also might end up being a song that I don’t really like until I listen to it a several more times. You know that thing in the instrumental that sounds like “90s Love?” Yeah. Mark sounds good in this song. I bet this song samples something. Not clue what. But I just Feel™ it does. Haechan’s high note at the end of the bridge did not do it for me, sorry bud :( Oh, I guess I like Mark’s “tick tick tock” bit.

ANL - Intro feels VERY similar to “Dive Into You,” doesn’t it? Same kind of feeling with the arpeggios, yeah? Like “My Youth,” it would feel right at home in a coming-of-age movie. 1:12, did they just say, “Yeah, we can bang all day?” “YEAH, I GIVE IT TO YOU EVERY NIGHT” ?!?!?!?!?!??! IS THIS A SONG ABOUT SEX? IT SOUNDS LIKE IT MIGHT BE A SONG ABOUT SEX? (No comment on the fact that “ANL” looks like............. well, you know.) (Edit: So apparently it’s “we can PAINT all day,” but the other line is actually “I give it to you every night,” which is, hmm, well.) 1:51, is this Jaemin? I like it a surprisingly large amount. (Edit: Yes, it’s Jaemin. Is this the comeback that makes me fall in love with his rapping? Hmm.) This song also makes me want to dance, but in a different way than “Hot Sauce” or “Rocket.” RENJUN IN THE BRIDGE?! THE HARMONY?! VERY NICE HONESTLY. Is this Jisung after the bridge at 2:53? Wow, I really do like his voice, huh? (Edit: yes, it’s Jisung, so jk, Jaemin, the rapper I’m falling in love with this come back is him and not you.) The line “I want to be your sunshine, girl” makes me cringe. The type of English line they’d give to Johnny in an NCT 127 song.

Irreplaceable - This song is SO funky, and I love it. I’ve said before that Haechan’s voice isn’t my favorite (I acknowledge he’s a very good singer; the tonal quality of it just doesn’t appeal to me personally), but it does fit this song very well. Kind of has a Motown, Jackson 5 vibe, which I really dig. Another song that makes me want to dance. Another contender for — did Jaemin just say “climax” (1:31)? I’m sorry? (Edit: Look, I know that’s not an inherently sex-related word, and that’s obviously not how it’s being used here, but it’s just a funny word to be used for the one random English word in the middle of the song, you know?) — my favorite song off the album. “Yeah, we about to hug and kiss,” okay, Mark. I don’t know why, but I really want to do the “Touch” dance with the arms to this song?

Be There For You - It makes sense to put the ballad after the bop that was “Irreplaceable.” I haven’t really been following all the promotional material for this album, but this is a vocal trio unit song, right? It kind of reminds of “My Everything.” Like, there’s a range of type of NCT ballad, and I think this and “My Everything” fall into the same category. 1:22, god, Renjun, your voice is so good. (I know my favoritism is showing so hard but whatever, I don’t care. I love his voice.) I like the backing harmonies. Very soft. I probably won’t listen to this song much, simply because I don’t listen to ballads much (Chinese ballads notwithstanding) but I do like it.

Rainbow - Back to the coming-of-age vibes like in “Dive Into You” and “ANL.” I can’t decide if I like the similar vibes for cohesiveness of the album or if I dislike it because I think they’re too similar. Wow, this is really a “get your lighter and/or cellphone out and wave in the air” kind of song, huh. Rap at 1:40 (Jisung?), I like it. (Sorry, the title “Rainbow” is just reminding me of how I recently told my parents, “oh, I think this guy I went to high school with is queer because he has the rainbow flag emoji in his insta bio,” and my dad said, “maybe he just really likes colors.” PLEASE.) The harmonies are nice. Renjun’s ad libs towards the end (3:05-3:17 ish), yes. I like the song, it won’t be a favorite, but this is a nice note to end the album on.

Over all thoughts: It’s a good album. Really enjoyable and definitely feels cohesive. I love the mix of peppy, dancey energy and this kind of soft yearning coming-of-age feeling. It makes a lot of sense for NCT Dream’s first full album. Chenle and Jisung are both pleasantly surprising me, and I’m looking forward to seeing how their voices continue to develop in the future. (Side note: SM, please let Chenle sing in his lower register more! His high voice is lovely, but so is his low voice!) Favorite songs currently are “Rocket” and “Irreplaceable.” 

[ziracona]

Dwight/Jake wedding headcanons maybe? They deserve it.

For sure!

It’s a couple years down the road. They’ve been living in the Indiana house with Adam, while the others orbit in and out from Springwood and Lockport and Haddonfield and Indianapolis and Bloomington and New Jersey and Missouri and New York and such every few days. It’s peaceful and fun there for them. Woods, big house, familiar smells and people and memorobelia and Ron’s grave and markers added nearby for Vigo and Alex and Lisa and Sujan and the person from the lab with no name and the survivors who came before them and never got to be buried. It’s home. They’re just chilling, Dwight and Jake talking with intent but also very relaxed about something while Adam edits a sequel in his easy chair, deep in edit mode, when Jake calls over, “Hey Adam, do you want to be a best man, or do you want to marry us?”

Which Adam hears the wrong homophone for for a second and almost takes him out before he realizes they meant the other version of ‘marry’ and remembers how to breathe again.

He stutters out a, “Well, I, uh—I mean, I can do whichever you’d prefer, but I’m not ordained. In. Anything. I know I did Min and Nea’s, but—”

“—Yeah, we know, but we just need it to be legal,” Jake shrugs, “and we don’t want a stranger at the wedding period, so someone’s getting ordained.”

“I think you can get ordained online in like an hour,” adds Dwight helpfully, “and we’re not religious either, but—and now that I’m saying this it was Meg so that means I should make sure becuase sometimes her memory for numbers is uhhh bad, but she told me like a week ago you only need ten people to officially get your new religion recognized. And we could be ‘the survivors’ or something. I don’t know I believe in much, but I believe in that.”

Jake nods. “Whatever is true, this group of people can rip a hole in the fabric of the universe for each other. I’d ascribe to that.”

“I kind of like that,” says Adam, “I would too. But if we have a spiritual ‘leader’, wouldn’t Ace be a better choice than me? Or Jane?”

This is considered a good point and they debate between Adam, Jeff, Tapp, Jane, and Ace for a bit, [Philip is also briefly considered, but they realize just as fast he’d be overwhelmed and stressed by having to do it & mercifully swap him to another role], then decide on Ace, who’s always been the kind of...not exactly dad, not exactly uncle, but not not those things, and certainly some kind of an early spiritual or morale core for them, parentish figure, and a comfort and hope leader for them all. Also, they know he’ll get a fkn kick out of being ordained for this.

Dwight takes Quentin as his Best Man, Claudette his Maid of Honor, and Jake takes Nea as Matron of Honor, Andrew as Best Man, and Meg as Maid of Honor. They decide fuck it, and it’s kinda Parks & Rec (an argument used by and against Jake many times the next few weeks) anyway, and also both take Adam and Philip as Best Men because fuck it, it’s too hard and also wedding rules are arbitrary and made to be broken, and so then Jake adds Kate as a bridesmaid, Dwight adds Laurie, they realize the number of survivors is dwindling dangerously and decide fuck it, our wedding is for us might as well be fkn weird and cool, and add David, Min, Tapp, Jane, Jeff, and Laurie as groomsmen and bridesmaids too. This still leaves Michael, Anna, Sally, Benedict, Susie, Jeff’s three Legion kids, and everyone’s families which is like fkn a lot of people, to be audience party (sans Nancy, who is pleaded with to be wedding party and run the music pre-reception because the number of people that they want involved /and/ who won’t give in to or be tricked by Meg into some kind of terrible flash mob stunt is very small, and in fact, basically is just Nancy. She is happy to do it and thinks their desperate reasoning is hilarious).

They break the news to Meg and Claudette and Ace first (after Adam), ask Ace to marry them, and tell Meg she can run post-weddding/reception music however she wants, except the songs for a couples dance & parent dances. She is /thrilled/. Claudette is very happy and cries. They call up Quentin & Nea to add to the conversation and Jake says Nea and Meg and Susie are in charge of setting up the wedding because he knows they’re gonna fight him for the role anyway, but they have to throw whatever they can together with only the stuff they own already and $50, they want only family & the other survivors/their families at the wedding, the service short and sweet, and to have it at the cabin, by the river. Meg loses her mind with indignance and joy together, and goes buckwild. They hit thrift shops for fairy lights and streamers and more.

Everyone is thrilled to be asked, Jane says “about time,” and Philip can’t think of anything to say and gets overwhelmed emotionally and taken off guard to be asked to be a groomsman. It’s sweet. Everyone with fashion sense takes everyone else shopping or through their wardrobes for fun wedding clothes and to at least have accent pieces that match a color theme. (Complimentary blues, yellow/gold, and pinks to the grooms’. More on that). It’s super fun & they make a fashion show of it. There’s no matching in form, just color, which is just the best version anyway there’s really no goddamn reason to spend thousands of bucks on a wedding when you could just have a funky cute good time with the people who love you & no stress.

Jake picks a deep blue hanbok (bc the hottest Jake I’ve ever seen is the one @eggchef did for lunar new year & the note in the tags about an actual hanbok has been banging around in my head ever since), and when they’re going through stuff for Dwight, he comments a pink one is surprisingly nice because it’s not the color he’d expected to think about, and Jake remarks offhand that if they do deep blue and pink they’ll be stealing their girls’ looks, and the second he says that, they both know there’s no other choice now. Dwight gets a light pink suit and a tie that matches Jake’s blue. They’re adorable and both look exceedingly handsome.

The wedding is short and perfect. Ace does a great job, it’s a nice day, and Meg works wonders with her $50 budget and (notably obscenely large) preexisting store of party supplies, + help from her mom who is passing down the legacy of being the best tiny budget party planner on earth. It’s very open, but with near arches and dangling glass and prisims that cast rainbows everywhere, lots of meaningfully chosen for their blessings and symbolism flowers and flower chains from Claudette. It’s a little reminiscent of the birthday decorations Min and Nea did plus the prisims, and that accidentally makes all the survivors super emotional like 1 minute in.

Only the moms get to speak in the wedding (besides Ace and the grooms), and Andrew and Meg and Nea and Quentin and such all gotta save their roasts for the reception. It’s sweet. Ace knows them super well and it shows in the best way. The grooms write their own vows, and both echo their statements in the hatch tunnel without knowing the other was going to do so too. Jake starts with an “I am deeply, unendingly, ridiculously in love with you,” and Dwight brings in a, “I wouldn’t be who I am without you.” They end it with Dwight saying, “Will you still stay with me, now that it’s all over? Through whatever we’re thrown to next?” And Jake replying, “Wherever you go, I’ll always follow.”

I cry.

The reception is a party by the house. It’s just a huge prepared buffet made by the family who can cook, so no one has to sit and wait. Meg starts the music with Cascada’s Evacuate the Dance Floor because she doesn’t “want to see people dragging their feet like a bunch of fuckin weenies, I want asses on that dance floor!” There’s a lot of 90s and early 2000s pop, but also many many classic dance songs. Lots of ABBA. Lots of it. Everyone has great fun. Min, Nea, Susie, and Meg made the playlist, except for a few of the specific dances. Muriel Fairfield’s mother-son dance with Dwight is to Song For Ten by Neil Hannon because he knows she’s a sweet big emotional nerd and it’s the song she wants, and he’s willing to do it, and she sobs and is a mess but also the happiest she’s been since the day she got the call he was alive.

They have literally zero idea where they’re going when they drive off for a honeymoon. They’re like “Uhh so I’ve been looking at our complete and utter lack of wedding structure and planning as a good thing? But we might have overstepped that a little here....”

Dwight drives while Jake searches the web for LGBT safe honeymoon locations because there’s nothing that would ruin a trip more than that not working out, and reads off a list and Dwight is like, “Wait wait holy fuck, I though you meant what US cities or maybe Canada. Switzerland? Do we even have cash for the plane fare somewhere like that?” And Jake just looks at the page silently for a few seconds, shuts the laptop, and without expression says, “...I really hate this, but I’m gonna let myself be a rich boy, just once.”

They take Andrew’s jet to New Zealand (Jake calls him and listens for 2 minutes then just monotone goes “Okay but you owe me for being a dipshit for fifteen years,” and they get the ride). Jake picks a relaxed pace and some scuba diving, some hikes, but no overnight camping. Lots of just seeing the world and holding hands and grinning at how absolutely breathless and shocked Dwight is at every chunk of nature like nothing he’s seen before. They are disgustingly, blissfully happy.

[icharchivist]

first: WAHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭 I got so emotional!!! so emotional!!!! so much that I can’t even do this first second pattern bc I have SO MANY thoughts!!!!!!! I’m writing this in my notes instead of straight into the askbox so u know it’s serious business™

ok so debut night!!! I was like ahah yeah it’s a tragedy whatever it’ll be fun to start out with and then the voice acting was SO good that it knocked me out of the park and I almost cried haha. it’s crazy how good the voice acting in a3 is like I love how the dialogue and voice acting works well together bc like it’s limited but so effective!! u can so very clearly see and understand the style they’re going for. especially like tsumugi’s death scene... the Talent jumped out it really did... uh and ok so. I think I may be a littleeee confused abt the play bc I had always interpreted tasukus last lines as raphael to be like abt his being secretly in love with michael. but now that I’m actually reading the line that’s like oh don’t fall for a human it only ends in misery I know that all too well or whatever... ig the implication is that raphael was in love with another human / the same lady michael was in love with in the play. side note I had to go back and edit the proper names in instead of tasuku and tsumugi lol... but speaking of!! speaking of the voice acting and the play itself I 1) love how blatantly obvious it is when tsumugi goes for that grander, tasuku like style of delivery!! like u could just so easily feel the difference it was wild... and 2) tsuzuru is once again spot on with his writing, lol... I felt that like raphaels inability to save or help michael really parallels how tasuku feels abt tsumugi so well, and it’s wonderful that they r able to resolve things and tasuku can properly compliment him on his acting where the angels fail to do so. it’s very good. and I think the play rly highlights (for me at least) that like. to tasuku, it was tsumugi who was sort of an unreachable existence. like were he to idolize and respect someone’s acting, it would be tsumugi. and I think that like caring carries over into their roles really well, because I think in michael’s love for a human tasuku sees like... tsumugi’s style of acting. the heart that he’d lost while within the god troupe. mb I’m losing my mind a little but ah. the play rly works with their relationship so well!! im very excited to see the other winter ppl get main roles tho—same for all the troupes!!! now this ask is too long so I’ll have to do another part lol

going to start off this second part of the ask abt hisoka bc oh my GOD. hisoka. like I was just thinking “hm where r the winter troupe cgs anyways” and then BAM. hisoka CRYING???? especially since he doesn’t seem that emotional it was a really hard hit!!! and who tf is august.... ok well actually theory time!! skipping ahead to the end theres that note that like mentions December and April and. not to expose my friend but very many years ago (a couple years before a3 was launched, at the very least) she wrote this story where there were like 12 orphan assassins and they were all named after months. I remember the main dude was named dec lol. coupled with my “hisoka is capable of murder” bit? listen.... I’m not saying anything but I’m also not not saying anything if u feel me. also I feel like assassin / thief with mysterious background is a common trope!! that was silver from the pokémon adventures manga too... why is this my reference point lmao. anyways I’m unclear if assassins would make it into a3 but like.... if the yakuza and supernatural stuff makes it in...

okay moving away from conspiracy theories and into emotions!!! the quotes from like EVERY mankai actor before the final production made me SO emo... and yay!!! they won!!!! (though admittedly I almost had a heart attack when no one clapped) but they won!!!! that ending cg!!!! and I adore how sakyo immediately goes after god troupe man (I know his name is reni I just don’t feel like calling him that) for the money lol it’s just so sakyo-like. also I love the lil mixed troupe interactions!! I found the game night ch so fun.... ahh, now I wanna reread that ch since it was so good lol

all in all I was super satisfied ahh!! I am SO excited to start up spring troupe again (HELLO character development!!! and chikage) and I’m even MORE excited to get thru all the act 1 events!!!! as a final note, is there any way to reread or replay the flair conversations? I didn’t want any spoilers for the plays while I was doing the practices for them so I kinda sped thru the first time ahah...

HELLO FRIEND IM SO HAPPY TO GET SUCH A LENGHTY ASK ABOUT WINTER IM LKDJFLKDJFLKFD  Winter makes me feel shrimps emotions (i know the whole “shrimps can see more colors than humans can’t comprehend” thing has been disproved but i’m not letting go of that expression, i REALLY feel emotions humans can’t comprehend anymore and i’m going to make it everyone else’s problem)

1) First about the voice acting, rIGHT this is just so fascinating to me!!! I remember after act 2 i came back to reread the main act 1 chapter and i was so thrown out by how GOOD the voice acting was, especially for the first few troupes having to convince you they’re not comfortable or good at acting yet. Winter whole thing is that they’re more subtle and mature and you really feel that with their voice acting, Tsumugi’s voice especially knock it off the park anytime he’s on screen. 

2) Second: what does it say about me that i’ve never, ever considered your reading a possibility because i was so set on “oh Raphael you’re in love with Michael sooooo bad you see it as a tragedy already because you can see him throw his life away” i didn’t even consider “maybe Raphael went through that too”. Though i guess if we’re going with that reading i can totally see “The Woman” they let themselves consumed by easily be a representation of acting or even more the God Troupe, with Raphael/Tasuku knowing to step away before it consumes him completely while Michael/Tsumugi, by his love and passion, pushed himself until he broke, which fits and it hurtsssss god Winter plays hits so hard.

3) Third: oh god yeah when Tsumugi goes for Tasuku’s acting it’s just. It makes me SO uncomfortable, i’ve experienced this scene like three times by now and the third time i was just “can i skip it i can’t go through this again i can’t Tsumugi i love you i can’t do this”. It doesn’t match the play at all and it just throws everyone off balance, and Tsumu you could have told theM YOU WANTED TO DO THAT.... god

4) Fourth: I LOVE YOUR READING SO MUCH I LOVE IT I LOVE IT YES YOU’RE RIGHT!!! Just as we follow Tsumugi let his passion consumes him until he breaks, Tasuku’s character arc really jumps out in Raphael, like, everything you say!!!  The way Tasuku/Raphael knew how the feelings Tsumugi/Michael felt would hurt him on the long run but he didn’t know what to do about it until it was too late, the regrets and the way Raphael voices his frustrations.... Tasuku struggles to be honest without acting (Tasuku pls i love you) but having such a role really help him expressing all he feels about Tsumugi and i’m HHHH this is so good so so good!!! but yeah i also love that Tasuku finally manages to actually compliment Tsumugi naturally, that he understands he can’t let him destroys himself again and it’s just gnhhhhh Tasuku is so kind and considerate and i care about him so much....!!!

5) Fifth: “i’m losing my mind a little” winter mood, winter mood winter mood- (though every troupe’s mood tbh but Winter is gnhhhhh kdhd hdhjf??? you feel me) (i am BIASED i can’t help it TwT) but yeaH i’m looking forward to see how you react to the others plays because the roller coaster juST BEGUN!!!

Onto part 2... Winter Troupe Chapter Feels... 2!

6) Sixth: DLFJDFKLDF HISOKAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE HIM SO MUCHHHHH. Hisoka crying fucked me up so bad!! so so bad!! Like on my first read i didn’t know what to think of him as he starts out very apathic to his troupe and then the more it goes on the more you can feel he starts to open up and i’m soft for this sort of slow burn, but then this whole scene happened and it HIT ME IN THE FACE, he was crying, i was crying, we were all crying, the Unopening Door opened a flood of emotions i can’t cope with. He sounds SO VULNERABLE during that scene and i know all of the Winter Troupe united on “taking care of him” but that’s really the moment i went “i care you and i will keep taking care of you” and look at me now. Thanks funky little scene for ruining my life. I’m glad you liked it i’m aldhjflkjdfkd Hisokaaaaa.....

7) Seventh: I am not commenting on the theory but 👀 that’s so highly specific your friend has a galaxy brain i love it. and i love the idea of “well we have yakuza and supernatural entity what’s an assassin adding himself to it” dLKFJDLKF i know everyone in Mankai calls Izumi out everytime someone joins but that’d be peak. I’m not going further about what December and August and April are all about but i love this plotline sO much, the few mentions of August when Hisoka regained his memories for a minute still haunts me, the guilt he seems to feel and this pain i’m just... godddd such a good set up. I love this plotline.

8) Eigth: EMOTIONS!!  Oh GOD YEAH THE ENDING WITH ALL THE OTHER ACTORS... I cried so hard it’s just. It really shows you it’s not just the culmination of the Winter chapter but of all the act 1 main plot and it really makes you feel how much of a journey you’ve been onto!! A3 is so good at showing you the growth of its characters that especially by the end of Winter you really saw how all of them grew in their respective chapters and how cozy they felt in their new home in the remaining chapters, and the fact this chap has those defining character arc’s lines really drive home “oh my god that was a journey” i love them sO MUCH.... 

9) Ninth: wE WOOOON!!! They’re all so good i just. i’m gonna cry just thinking about it dlfdjlfk i know like, the game has so many content so you know it can’t end at the end of Winter but the suspense really was there. BUT YEAH LMAO I LOVE SAKYO DOING THAT IMMEDIATLY, man sure has the eyes on the prize and we love him for that.  AND THE GAME NIGHT SCENE they are all sO CUTE and sWEET and they’re a family now and i’m hHHHHH i love a3 a normal healthy amount that isn’t just making me cry thinking about how all of them grew so close even through mixed troupes.

10) Tenth: I am SO happy you were satisfied with the plot so far!! I’m genuinely so happy that you decided to take that journey with us and that you shared all of this with me, and i’m so so happy you liked it!! There is still so much content and all of it is so worth it! 

11) Eleventh: Yes!! The flair conversations are all readable on the Mini-Chat tab! So they’re easily accessible and they’re sorted in a way that’s easy to read so you can feel comfortable skipping the flairs if you want until you have seen the stories the flairs are all about. They’re all kinda set during the rehearsals (except for some crosstroupe conversation that wouldn’t make sense if they were like how the Summer Troupe talks with the Spring Troupe in their Flairs DKLFJDF but it’s okay what is a timeline anyway) so some of them are set pre-development and it’s wild to get back to them. I love rereading Flairs i get emotional everytime.

ANND That’s it for this ask! i had a blast reading through your thoughts and i’m so happy and excited!! i’ll send you the drive now so you can start digging through it whenever you feel like it :3c good luck grinding for act 2, meanwhile i hope you’ll have fun with all the act 1 events i compiled for you!!

(side note i need to update the drive too but it’s mostly act 2 content anyway, the only two act 1 things i need to update on it is Sakuya’s birthday card i think?? i think Itaru’s is already in act 2 so i’ll try to get around to it eventually but it’s so far away anyway) (edit: i forgot that the three cards i got for the latest revival are from act 1 DLKJFD okay so i’m missing three cards -)

The drive has backstages and event stories and it may be a lot and overwhelming ahah. Focus on the event stories for the plot and go back to the backstages whenever you feel like it, no need to read them at the same time, unless you want to in which case everything is set up for you :3c and there’s a file with cards that aren’t associated to events too so... lots of goodies hanging around. I’ll send it to you in DM ;O 

Take care and thank you so much for all your thoughts! my inbox remains wide opened for any others thoughts you may have as you go further into it :3c

[zankivich]

In My Blood: Wolf!Shawn x Black Reader: A coffee shop/baker AU

a/n: Look. I’ve been reading fanfic a long ass time. And I’ve been reading supernatural fanfic just about as long. And I dead ass have never in my 21 years encountered a story where the point of view, where the story, is centered on a black woman. So, we gone change that today. I am absolutely obsessed with this. It honestly started out pretty horrid, so I’m so happy she came together. I hope y’all like it! Let me know tbh. 

Trigger warnings: mentions of sexual situations, conversations regarding race/hint at police brutality, cussing

It rained the day you moved in. This would go on to become your new normal though so you thought you might as well get used to it. Moving to a new town was always hard. It helped a little bit that the town was so small, tucked quietly away in the midst of trees and general greenery, it was just extremely different from your norm. You’d been a doctor in a large city for a few years where the hustle and bustle of corporate medicine had taken its toll on you. You wanted an intimate setting of clientele, not squeezing people in just for the sake of money and greed. So, when you saw an ad looking to basically apprentice someone into their practice so they could retire, you took the leap and left.The nearest hospital was a bit of a drive, forty-five or so minutes into the city, so the clinic usually served most people for their day to day problems. It was perfect.

So, you packed up all of your shit and moved to this tiny town, the kind of town where people noticed when someone new arrived. It was also the kind of town where when the Black girl moved in with her shea butter and head scarfs, people might feel inclined to take pause. The good news was that you were unapologetic and quite ready to make yourself comfortable. One might say you were ready to take on the world.

One day when you were still settling in, but couldn’t take unpacking another box you went for a walk to try and get used to the new town around you. The first thing you stumbled upon was a cute little coffee shop with this beautiful image of a wolf as its logo. You quickly stepped inside. There were a few people sat around tables with their earbuds in typing away on laptops. The counter was large and took up most of the shop with a big display of baked treats sitting proudly beside the register. There was no line, but you could clearly see a guy cleaning up at one of the tables so you stepped towards to the display case to see if anything caught your eye.

“I’ll be with you in one moment!” He called moving so quickly he was practically a blur.

“Oh no worries, take your time.”

You were stuck between a chocolate croissant that looked like it was the size of your head and a cinnamon bun of equal proportion when he finally stepped up the counter.

“So sorry about that, what can I get you?”

You looked up and honest to god your heart must have skipped a beat. First of all your eyes went to the average height of any other human you’d ever talked to you, which barely cleared the abs of this ridiculous human being. And then there was the color in his cheeks which stood so starkly on his jagged jawline. His eyes were honey brown and he had these beautiful curls that seemed to take on a life of their own. He was absolutely beautiful. And huge. And warm looking in the apron that was slung around his waist. Honestly what the hell?

It didn’t help that he seemed to pause when he saw you too. As if anything you had going on could cause the kind of reaction this man was creating within you.

“Uhhhhh...H--Hello.” You stammered awkwardly, brain completely fried.

WORDS WORDS WHAT ARE WORDS?

“You’re new here.” He murmured teeth nipping at his bottom lip.

“Yea. I um I just moved into town over the weekend actually. I’m working at the clinic with Dr. Savage? I’ll be taking over for him eventually.”

He hummed and it was like windchimes.

“Ah, I didn’t know Dr. Savage had actually found someone. He certainly didn’t mention you.”

“Should he have?” You asked slightly confused.

“Oh, we just go way back. He’s a family friend, and really important to the community. I always stop in and bring him breakfast after the rush here.”

“Ah.”

He stared at you for a second and you stared back and it wasn’t awkward, but more charged, more like both of you wanted to say something that you couldn’t find the words for. Eventually he smiled and his teeth glinted sending your heart into another round of unsteady rhythms.

“I’m sorry. You must be waiting for me to actually do my job. What can I get you, honey?”

Jesus. Christ.

You smiled. “I think I was actually trying to figure out if I should try the chocolate croissant or the cinnamon roll. Which would you recommend?”

“Both.” He said instantly. “You should have both.”

You chuckled. “Please. They’re massive. I could never finish them.”

“You can take them home with you.”

“I could always just come back to try the other.”

“I’d rather you come back knowing what you want.” He murmured.

You paused for another moment, his statement seeming to be layered. There was also something about his eyes, so warm and inviting, that it was incredibly difficult to say no. You were a black woman after all, you’d been raised to say no. What was up this guy?

“Why don’t you go sit down and I’ll surprise you instead? Would you like a cup of coffee too?”

You nodded slowly. “Can you make a white mocha?”

“‘Course I can.” He grinned showing off his teeth once again.

You thought it best you just go sit down because you were beginning to feel lightheaded.

It was hard not to get swept up in his energy. He was wearing a white t-shirt that hung on his body beautifully. His shoulders were broad and twitched endlessly under the fabric as he shuffled around behind the counter. You suddenly wished you could draw or paint, because surely he was deserving of such a treatment.

When he stepped back up to your table his hands were completely full. He was balancing two plates in one palm and a massive cup of coffee on the other. You were starting to get the sense that portions weren’t really a thing here. You also couldn’t help but noticed that nothing looked too big when he was holding it in his hands. But nothing could have prepared you for him to set down your treats and then immediately plop a squat beside you.

“I want to see your first reaction. Everyone in town is old and comes here every day.” He smiled.

You swallowed. “Well I guess if you’re gonna join me for breakfast you could at least tell me your name.”

“I’m Shawn.” He chuckled reaching his oven mit sized hand out for yours.

“Y/n.”

His hand was warm. In fact he seemed to radiate heat like an oven. But, you couldn’t tell if that was you sweating like an idiot or if he just really was that warm. What a shit show.

“That’s a beautiful name. Now try your croissant, please?”

He gently nudged the plate forward until it bumped against your hand. You rolled your eyes playfully at him before pulling at the flaky bread with the chocolatey center and popping it square in your mouth. Holy fuck it was good. You thought that maybe it was hard to fuck up a croissant, but surely it had to be just as hard to make the best one. Your face must have shown how good it was because he smiled at you big and warm like. It was so incredibly rude.

“Wow, that is so fucking good!” You giggled.

“That means I’m doing my job well. Thank you, it makes me happy. You uh got a little something on your lip though.”

You frowned and licked quickly at your lips in the hopes of ridding the offending mark only for him to shake his head softly at you. It caused one of his curls to flop down in front of his face. Wow was he beautiful. You dipped your head down both to try and find the chocolate as well to not have to look him in the eyes anymore, and still you couldn’t get it. How pathetic.

“Here, c’mere.” He mumbled leaning forward in his chair.

His large palm caught your cheek in his hand as his thumb rubbed softly at your lip. He was warm. Warmer than warm and it made your heart beat loud and fast in your chest. Your lips parted and you felt air whoosh past them. You swore that his eyes got brighter in that moment, that they actually got more honey and less brown. It was incredible.

“I--I’m so sorry. That was really inappropriate of me.”

“No uh...you’re okay. Thank you for not letting me walk around all day with shit on my face.”

He chuckled softly so you did the same.

By the time you’re stuffed with various forms of sugary breads and he’s refilled your coffee twice, you realize that your plan to explore the town had much more turned into exploring the attractive man in the only coffee shop around apparently. You were reminded of your pact with yourself to absolutely not get into a relationship in your first year here. Not that Shawn would have any interest in you in a non-platonic way, but it did mean you probably shouldn’t get your hopes up. So, you politely got your leftover sweets put in a box and got out of there as soon as you could. When he asked if you would be back the next day you just shrugged your shoulders and told him maybe before practically running for the door. You had to stay away.

***

Your first day at the clinic finds you up at six in the morning. You wanted to give off a good impression, so you made coffee in this funky old coffee maker in the corner. You cleaned up some of the mess that had been lying around and even checked the email where it looked like Dr. Savage had struggled to get working. You managed to set him up a couple of social media accounts and even took his older logo of a wolf howling at the moon and updated it slightly using one of the random editing websites online.

By the time your boss arrived it had been quite a productive morning and you were happy to see his eyes light up at all that you accomplished.

“We’re gonna be a good fit, I think.” He said to you.

You agreed.

Before the open sign had even been flipped, the bell on the door clanged as someone entered the space. Dr. Savage rose slowly from his chair and went to check on it leaving you with a stack of paperwork to start thumbing through.

You hear the soft chatter of voices and then footsteps as your boss lead someone back to your area. At first you figured it was just a customer that had arrived a little to early, but it didn’t take long for you to pause at your desk as the familiar timbre hit your ear.

“Y/n, I have someone to introduce you to.” Dr. Savage called.

“Actually, I think we’ve already met.”

And there he is. It was raining outside, a near constant for the tiny town, leave his curls floppy and wet atop his head. This didn’t stop him from running his fingers through the strands and sending that dumb, perfectly straight smile at you now did it? You looked at Dr. Savage with what was sure to be a gaping mouth before peering back at Shawn. Bitch if you don’t get your shit together.

“H--Hello, Shawn. It’s nice to see you again.” You smiled.

He nodded. “You never came back to the shop. I thought maybe I’d made a bad first impression.”

“Actually you uh...you made quite a good one. I’ve just been trying to settle in a little more.”

And trying to stay far away from white boys with smiles like yours.

“Well that’s good at least. I’ve got a new recipe I’ve been meaning to try out. You’ll have to stop by and test it for me.”

Dr. Savage snickered and clapped his hand on the back of Shawn’s beautiful, burly shoulder.

“Stop flirting with my employee and come to my office will you? Y/n, if anyone rings can you handle it?”

Shawn’s cheeks took on a brilliant red hue that matched beautifully with his golden eyes. It softened him somehow. He was so big and so muscular, and yet you had the feeling that you could crawl into his arms and wouldn’t mind somehow. Shit.

“Of course. I’ve got it handled!”

Shawn smiled sheepishly at you before allowing Dr. Savage to pull him along to his office. You shook your head and turned back to your work wanting to to have all of the medications and tools ready for the appointments that you had coming in that day. It wasn’t even a minute later that someone was walking up behind you and placing a cup and box on the counter. You turned to look up into those warm eyes of his again with a smirk on his lips to match.

“White mocha and a cinnamon roll. I figured I might see you this morning so…”

“Oh Shawn you didn’t have to--”

“Wanted to. Good morning, honey.” He breathed before heading back to Dr. Savage’s office. “Let me know if it’s better than the croissant.”

With the door closed, you can finally focus on something other than the beautiful man from the coffee shop. Once you establish your rhythm, you’re able to send all of the reminder emails for the appointments for the week, schedule the few people who do call in, and organize the supply closet. When a client actually does come in, you help them with their paperwork, get it filed, and do the preliminary check ups and vitals. By the time Dr. savage is actually meant to see the patient, Shawn is already gone. There’s a tinge of disappointment when he’s not around, before you remembered that you weren’t in high school anymore and that you actually had a job to do. Idiot.

The rest of the day is busy with clients, paperwork, and billing. Dr. Savage doesn’t take his lunch break, so neither do you. By the time the sun had gone down you’re exhausted, and the two of you work smoothly side by side to clean the clinic for you to do it all over the next day.

“So uh...How do you know Shawn?” You murmured eyes completely on the broom you were sweeping with.

He chuckled softly. “I’ve known the kid since he was born. I’m what the town calls an elder. I know mostly everybody. I worked very closely with his father when he was elder as well.”

“Was an elder?”

“Yes. Shawn’s father actually passed away a few years ago. He was what you would have called our town leader. And with his absence, Shawn has had to step up to the plate. So I look after him to offer guidance. This isn’t exactly the sort of thing they provide you training on.”

“Hmm...well, why does Shawn have to take over the town? Like what if he didn’t want to?” You asked.

“It’s not really an option. It’s in his blood.”

That was odd. Suddenly you were seeing Shawn in a bit of a different light. He was no longer just the cute baker barista down the street. Apparently the expectations for him were far greater. He didn’t even look old enough to be a town leader. And the thought that he might not even have a choice did something strange in your heart. You felt...protective of him. There was this weird feeling in your stomach that you should fight Dr. Savage on what he’d said, that Shawn should get to do whatever the hell made him happy. And you didn’t know how to reconcile these thoughts with the fact that you’d only just met him. It didn't make any sense. None of this made any sense.

***

It was another dreary weekend. The clinic being closed meant that you had plenty of free time to fix up your new house. Because you had only moved clear across the country to be here, you didn’t exactly have furniture. So, armed with your rainboots and headwrap you braved the horrid weather in search for a desk and a new bed frame so that you might not have to sleep on a mattress on the floor anymore.

There was only one furniture store in town that happened to double as the all around convenience store for the town. You were hopeful that it wouldn’t be too expensive, as you were trying not to blow your entire savings. First, you headed straight for the beds peering inquisitively at the frames and trying to determine which would actually be better. Adulting for you often times meant bullshiting your way through situations, and you frankly had no clue what made for a good bed or not.

While you were searching you heard the rowdy laughter that typically came with testosterone. A chill ran down your spine as you were blasted back to the past of middle school boys tugging on your pigtails on the playground and running off in fits of giggles. This group was certainly not those middle school boys though. They were all huge. You peered curiously at them as they rough housed and pushed playfully at one another. Something had to be in the water in this town because every single one of them you saw was bigger than the next. A man with red hair shoulder checked another man with shoulder length brown hair sending him into a display of pillows and knocking a couple of the over onto this floor. This only caused the lot of them to laugh harder, and that’s when he stepped out.

“Can we try not to act like wild animals in the store please?!”

Shawn pushed through the crowd of them, everyone immediately straightening up as if a sergeant in the army was addressing them. It was like night and day, the difference. His command of them was quite frankly a little startling...and a lot hot.

“Bro, we kinda are?” The red haired one snickered, only to get playfully slapped upside the head by Shawn.

“Not funny jackass. You’re skating on thin ice for breaking the door to begin with. Now let’s get a new one and get the hell out of here.”

He was wearing a black long sleeved sweater that molded to his body like a fucking dream and smoothed down into black skinny jeans and matching boots. Where the hell did they find this guy at? Shawn reached for one of the pillows before standing up straight and immediately looking you dead in the eye. You were definitely caught staring. Nice.

“Go pick out the door, and I’ll meet you all the cash register.” He mumbled already making a beeline for you.

You peered down at your bright yellow rain boots and thermal leggings and cursed whatever thought you’d had that morning to be cozy. This man looked like a greek god on the cover of GQ and you were serving nothing but childishness.

“Hi.” He spoke warmly waving at you in a way that sort of clapped his hand together.

He stepped closer to you, leaning on one of the bedposts and pointing that wicked smile at you.

“I’m beginning to think this town might be too small, if I keep running into you like this.” You smirked.

“You don’t like running into me? I’m hurt.”

“I suppose I don’t mind it. Surely you must be getting tired of me though?”

He shook his head. “On the contrary, I think I don’t see you nearly enough.”

It had its intended effect. You giggled like a schoolgirl. Ugh.

“You getting a new bed?”

“Y--Yea. I uh actually just packed up and moved here with whatever could fit into my car, so I’m kind of in need of a few things at the moment.”

“Oh...So you’re sleeping on the floor right now?” He frowned suddenly leaning closer into your space.

You caught a whiff of what smelled like sandalwood, spice, and musk. It was incredibly intoxicating. Literally where did he come from?

“I have a mattress, but yes I guess you could say that.”

“We have to find you a bed. C’mere I think I know a good one.”

He grabbed your hand, you were starting to figure out that personal space wasn’t really a thing when you were six feet tall and built from steel, and quickly pulled you over to the neatly lined boxes of frames.

“Wait, Shawn. What about your friends? You don’t need to help me.”  

He shook his head. “Those guys will take forever to figure out what door we need. I’d rather spend it helping you. Trust me.”

There was a dark brown wooden frame that on the box looked pretty beautiful. Shawn picked it up gently with both hands as if it was nothing and presented it to you.

“When I broke mine a few months back this is the one I got. It’s really good. Sturdy.”

You peered up at him, because up was the only way to see his face, and probably gawked him. You didn’t want to know what he had been doing that caused his bed frame to break. However, a part of you wanted to know every detail. He seemed to pick up on the implications if the reddening in his cheeks was anything to go off of, and quickly laughed and tugged his curls more perfectly into place.

“N--Not like that. I uh it was an accident actually. I was moving the furniture around in my room and it just didn’t end well for me.” He smiled sheepishly. “But uh, this one’s real good. And since I’ve got one myself I could probably help you put it together.”

“Ah. So, you think I need a man to help me put my furniture together?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No. N--No! No that wasn’t what I meant all!”

He looked good flustered. The strong aggressiveness that he showed the group of guys from earlier was non-existent when he was stammering and looking so panicky. You absolutely adored it and couldn’t help the laugh that fell from your lips. He placed his hand to his heart and took a deep breath at your reaction.

“Geez you scared me . . . I like your laugh by the way. It’s beautiful.”

And just like that the power dynamic was flipped on its head as you were trying not to squeal and he was trying not to piss you off. It was quite the shit show.

“Thank you. I like your smile.” You admitted.

He beamed at you, eyes warm and full of nothing but kindness. You were struggling to remember why you shouldn’t ask him out immediately. He was sort of perfect. And it was just kind of obvious that he might be a little into you too.

“Thank you. I would love to help you put this together if you want that. Not because you need it, but just because I wish someone would’ve helped me put it together myself. And maybe I wouldn’t mind hanging out with you either.”

You bit your lip and peered down at your boots. As per the usual, you were quite grateful for your melanin, but it certainly came in handy when your cheeks were warming up at the sweetness he was laying on thick.

“I’m actually pretty useless when it comes to putting furniture together, so I guess I wouldn’t mind the company either.”

He smiled again, dipping his head to make eye contact with you.

“Yea?”

“Yea.”

He helps you find a desk and then has the audacity to carry them both to the cash register without breaking a sweat. You notice his group of friends eye the both of you as he not only waits for you to pay but then quickly follows you outside to help put them into the car. When the trunk it just barely closed and your backseat is full with your desk, he walks back around to your car and quickly produces his phone.

“So, I have a meeting with my friends back there and that damn door, but what if I came over this evening? Like around five? I don’t want you sleeping on the floor another night.”

“Tonight?” You checked. “Are you sure? We could always do another day.”

“Of course not. I’m free as soon as we’re done. Just text me your address and I’ll come help. I’m looking forward to it!”

“O--Okay.”

You exchanged numbers and he sent you a smile and a wink before walking away for you to hyperventilate in your car. Truly a shit show.

***

You nearly jumped when the knock on the door came. You’d been running around like a chicken with its head cut off for the last three hours trying to make sure your place wasn’t a complete and total mess. Shawn had made no indication that there would be any funny business or that he might try and make a move on you, but that didn't mean you weren’t interested in creating an environment that was conducive to just that. You weren’t consciously breaking your rule of not dating someone, however...if he wanted it bad enough? He could get it.

You opened the door and there he was wearing a t-shirt that left little to the imagination again. He leaned against the frame, teeth glinting for no damn reason and radiating warmth like no other.

“Hi.” He whispered eyes raking you up and down.

You had traded your leggings for some shorts that had shrunk in the dryer and a sweater that showed off your cleavage. Subtle enough to just be an outfit, but obvious enough for his eyes to take pause when he looked. You were, however, still wearing your headwrap that sat on the front of your head in a beautiful, intricate knot.

“I didn’t get to tell you earlier but uh...I really like your head scarf. It’s pretty.”

God this boy was trouble.

“Thank you. Please come in.”

There wasn’t much to show him in terms of your house. It was small and cozy with a pretty big layout. The living room took up much of the space, with your bedroom and bathroom past the tiny kitchen. He followed silently behind you as you pointed to the spaces around you, following way too closely behind if the heat on your back was anything to go off. God, you wanted him closer.

In the bedroom you worked to pull out all of the pieces. You didn’t even pretend that you could offer much besides organizing them in order of the letters in the manual. The best part was apparently watching Shawn struggle at something. As good as putting the frame together before had done for him, this time still did not come naturally. He spent at least twenty minutes with two metal frames in his large hands just squinting and huffing at them as he attempted to get them to fit together. It was incredibly adorable.

“So where are you from anyhow?” He asked still frowning at the pieces.

You grinned at him. “I’m from North Carolina. The better of the Carolinas. Born and raised.”

“Yea? And what made you wanna come to our tiny, rainy town?”

“I went to med school back home, and I worked in a big city for a few years. The pay was great obviously but..I don’t know I just felt like I was trying to get as many bodies in as possible just to make the hospital more money, and I didn’t really get to connect with my patients and take care of them holistically you know? So, when Dr. Savage said he was looking for someone to essentially take over his practice and provide care for a town where I would get to see people grow up and evolve, it just felt right. If I’m honest I think it was gut reaction. I kinda felt like something was tying me here before I even made my decision.”

He peered over at you and his eyes did that thing again where they seemed to get even lighter. The urge to reach out and touch him was nearly unstoppable in that moment.

“I think I know what you mean.”

It was another one of his weighted statements that you’d give anything to understand.

“What about you? Baker extraordinaire by day and it sounds like town leader by night?”

His back straightened at that and he quickly dropped eye contact with you.

“Who told you I was a town leader?”

“Dr. Savage did. He said that you might not have a choice. That it was in your blood.”

You were standing propped against your dresser and you couldn’t help but notice that his jaw got tight and and more pronounced beneath his perfect skin. It was similar to the way he had looked speaking to his friends earlier. There was a maturity and an intensity there that made his edges seem sharper. It wasn’t that he was intimidating necessarily, but that you knew he could be if he wanted to. Shawn had been so soft and so endlessly kind to you since you met that it was a little odd to see him not be that always.

“I shouldn’t have said anything.” You murmured playing awkwardly with your fingers. “Don’t be angry with Dr. Savage. I made him tell me. You can be angry with me.”

“I’m not angry. Hey, look at me.” He paused to wait for you to follow his directive. “I’m not angry. I just want you to know things about me from me, alright? This town can be very gossipy and it’s not always accurate. I just want you to know the things that matter.”

“Okay. So, tell me the things that matter.” You shrugged.

He smiled again and the edges softened out.

“What do you want to know honey?”

His favorite color was hunter green, although in the fall he could be persuaded to a mustard yellow. He liked to have cereal as his midnight snack when he couldn’t sleep. When he was a kid he tried to hop a fence and it left a gnarly scar on his abdomen. He liked reading books in bed. He started working in the coffee shop when he was twelve, and his favorite thing to bake was baklava because it was hard and it took a long time to make. The recipe was his mother’s and she’d had it passed down for generations.  

“I only make it for special occasions. We don’t even put it on the menu.” He explained.

“Maybe you could make it for me sometime. I don’t know if I’m special enough, but I’d love to try it.”

“Yea, maybe.”

Somehow, someway he gets the bed  together. And he helps you put the mattress into the frame. While you put the sheets back onto the bed he gets the desk put together too, which was arguably much easier. By the end you both collapse side by side on the bed peering over at each other as if you’d been doing extreme physical labor instead of simply putting a bed together.

“That was so much work.” You whined. “Thank you. I never would have gotten that damn thing put together.”

“I’m so glad I could be of service.” He chuckled. “Now you can rest a lot easier.”

“You have to let me thank you though. I’d cook dinner, but I don’t have all of my dishes yet. Do you want to order takeout?”

“Are you sure you want me to stay? I don’t want to intrude.”

“No I--I want you to stay. As long as you want to?”

“Yea. I’d love to.”

You stare at each other far too long. It’s not normal. You want to want to stop, but you don’t. And it doesn’t help that he keeps pointing those eyes of his at you and completely clouding your judgement. You physically have to get up off the bed to break the spell. It’s a bit ridiculous.

There’s chinese takeout and really shitty wine. You sit on your couch together side by side, both sitting crisscross applesauce though your legs look far more toddler like in comparison to his. You talk a lot. In all honesty small talk had always been your weak spot. You never knew what questions to act, how to respond, or how to behave. But, with Shawn it was different, which felt so cliche you could feel your ancestors rolling their eyes at you from above. You didn’t have to think super hard because you were genuinely curious about so many things. And he was more than willing to talk nonstop to you about them. And he asked you about your life, and what home was like, and what kind of music you listened to. On top of him being endlessly attractive, and this odd sort of pull that you felt towards him, you thought that he might be the first friend you’d made in town.

“I was so nervous about moving here.” You sighed when the wine had loosened your muscles and you were both leaning way to close into each other’s space.

His eyebrows furrowed in interested. “How come?”

“Well it’s not like this little town of yours is crawling with black people.” You snorted. “I don’t know my mother was always so protective of me and so nervous about what this world could do to me. When I decided to move, she just wanted to know that I would be taken care of. And I guess some of her worries rubbed off on me a little. It’s one thing to be the outsider because you’re new in town. It’s another to also be the outsider because no one looks like you.”

There was a frown on his face now. And you found that you didn’t like it. You liked him happy and soft and warm and nothing else. Your hand came off your glass before you’d even registered it and you almost touched his face to try and smooth out the lines. But, you quickly pulled away before it got that far. This didn’t stop him from somehow getting closer on the suddenly very small couch.

“You’ve got nothing to worry about here. I would never let anyone hurt you.” He murmured feverently.

You chuckled a little, head rolling back against the couch so that you could peer up at the ceiling.

“That’s sweet and idealistic. I don’t know if you noticed, but there aren’t exactly a lot of ‘knight in shining armor rescues the black girl from the cops’ type fairytales. It’s okay though. I’ll be okay. I can take care of myself.” You hummed.

You were still staring up at the ceiling when you heard him sigh and nestle himself deeper into the couch too.

“I keep forgetting that I can’t share everything yet.” He whispered to himself. “It’s not the right time.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing, never mind.”

There’s silence for a little while except for the even pulls and pushes of you both breathing. Sleep starts to cloud the edges of your mind and you can’t be bothered to do anything that isn’t snuggling closer to Shawn’s warmth. He was like a walking blanket and campfire rolled into one, but with abs. The perfect sleeping companion. The last thing you heard him say before sleep took over was:

“I just want you to feel safe here. It’s all I want...you deserve to be taken care of.”

***

The next week is completely focused on work and getting settled into your new home. The morning after you and Shawn put the bed together, he had run off quick, fast, and in a hurry apparently late for some meeting. It didn’t offend you in anyway, although it was a little weird. You spent the day deep conditioning and doing laundry. Shawn didn’t text, so you didn’t either. It seemed as if things sort of hit a standstill.

Apparently Shawn still visited the clinic every morning to drop off breakfast and speak with Dr. Savage. Monday morning you missed him because Dr. Savage had asked you to take the bills to the post office. You came back to a breakfast sandwich and your white mocha with a note that said good morning honey. It seemed like a pattern was forming. But then, when you texted him thank you the response wasn’t anything more than a simple, “you’re welcome”. You were thoroughly convinced that it was something you said that night. And if you had to guess? It was definitely talking about race. You never censored yourself when it came to shit like that, cause if the guy you were hooking up with couldn’t handle it, you weren’t fucking interested.

By the time Wednesday rolled around you had told yourself that it didn’t matter. Just because you weren’t going to date didn’t mean you couldn’t play the field a little bit. And perhaps getting Shawn off your mind was exactly what you needed.

There was a bar in the heart of town that everyone seemed to go to. You thought maybe you could go out, drink a little, maybe make a friend or two. After work, when the sun had gone down, and all of your work for the day was done, you put on a pretty outfit of a long flowy skirt and an army green tank. You’d swept your hair up into a high bun and tied it with a pretty scarf to match.

Sally’s pub had obviously been there for years and years, but there was a clear attempt to keep it updated and modern, which worked lovely. There was a huge bar in the center that wrapped around the back of the building with an open floor for dancing, pool tables, and general hangout space. For a Wednesday night, the bar was pretty packed leading you to wondering if this was the place everyone went for fun.

You took a seat at the bar, ordered yourself a long island, and sat around to people watch. The good news was your bartender was pretty talkative and willing to take pity on you for the evening.

“Haven’t seen you around here before.” He said placing your glass in front of you. “I’m Cal.”

You grinned. “I’m new in town!”

“I wish I had a really funny joke to tie in John Mulaney, but alas I’m just a shitty bartender.”

He was the tall and burley type with copper like skin, but his shoulders and biceps were massive and his arms leaning on the counter took up a ridiculous amount of space. You took a deep sip of your long island and send him a smile.

“Well I don’t know about that, I’d say you’re at least a mediocre bartender!”

“Oh why thank you! That’s so sweet of you to say!” He chuckled. “Well since you’re new in town, I guess I can help fill you in on all the town gossip.”

“That’s awfully nice of you.”

He tells you about the different groups that are seated around the bar. There was a group of women that were the moms of town who tended to get a little more wasted than their husbands might like. There was the group of barely 21 year olds who tended to get a little rowdy sometimes, but were generally harmless. And then in the back of the bar by the pool table was the only group you didn’t want to see that night.

“That’s the town pack. They make sure everyone’s safe and what not.”

You saw the redhead first. Only because he was trying to smooth talk some girl who was watching one of the other guy’s play pool. Then there were all of the other guys from the furniture store strung about the booths drinking beer and joking around with each other. Shawn, for whatever reason, was nowhere to be found. Not that you cared. Cause you definitely didn’t care.

“Make sure everyone’s safe?”  You asked, eyes still on the group. “What do you mean?”

“Well it uh It used to Manny’s but, when he passed Shawn took it over. He’s always been an alpha, but having to take over younger than expected was a lot for him. He mentored all the rest of them when they turned, even though he was going through it ten times worse himself. Brian and Geoff are the betas. Matt, Zubin, and Sterling are all omegas. There are female betas and omegas too but they tend not to hang at the bar, just because the guys’ shenanigans typically bore them. It’s the largest pack for quite a ways away though, so they make sure nothing bad happens.”

You paused and took a look back down at your long island. You’d drinken about half of it, but surely you weren’t that much of a lightweight.

“I’m sorry? I think I’m not hearing you right.”

He simply raised an eyebrow and laughed at you.

“No one’s told you yet, huh?”

“Told me what?”

“Sweetheart, this is a werewolf town.”

It was actually the most ridiculous thing you’d ever heard in your life. You kept looking around for someone to pop out and tell you it was a joke, and yet no one came. He really expected you to believe that you’d somehow stumbled into some straight twilight shit.

You chuckled. “Okay sir. Sure.”

You brought your long island back to your lips to take a deep sip. As you were setting the glass down the door to bar opened and the whole crowd cheered exceptionally. Your bartender peered over towards the door and grinned down at you.

“And our alpha arrives.”

He practically glided along the floor shaking hands and clapping people on the back. Everyone knew him and everyone seemed to love him. And he smiled and spoke to them with all the grace of a natural born leader. It sure was nice to know that he could be nice and respond to someone. He was wearing a black t-shirt with the sleeves cut off and he looked absolutely delectable. It accomplished nothing but pissing you off.

“Can I get another one of these?” You mumbled knocking back the rest of your drink quickly and moving the glass back towards him.

He peered at you curiously before reaching for a larger glass.

“How about I make you something special to take the edge off?”

You nodded. “Yes. Absolutely. Sounds great.”

The bastard doesn’t even recognize you the whole time he’s making his rounds despite being the only black person in the bar. You make a mental note to down the whole drink and go the fuck home. If he was such a fancy hotshot why did you seem to see him literally everywhere?!

As Cal was making your drink though, Shawn finally made his way to the bar in search of a drink of his own.

“Hey Cal! How’s your mom doing?” He asked leaning on the edge of the bar in a way that made his arms bulge.

Ugh.

“Hey Shawn. She’s doing a lot better, her heart isn’t causing her as much trouble. She can actually walk around on her own now.” Cal smiled. “Let me finish up this drink here and I’ll get your IPA.”

“Hey thanks! Sounds good.”

Shawn was the on the opposite side of the bar, but the second Cal went to place your drink in front of you, his eyes went straight to you.

“This is what the mom’s usually order.” He explained as you took a sip of the bright pink concoction. “There’s some tequila, rum, rose, and cranberry juice. Enjoy responsibly and all that jazz.”

“Is this gonna land me on my ass?” You asked.

He simply smiled at you. “Only if you can’t handle your liquor.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying...drink up, sweetheart.”

You giggled a little and took another pull of the truly strong but delicious drink only to look up and see that Shawn’s eyes were still on you and now Cal.

You kept your eyes on your drink, but it was useless. The second he had his beer he was headed straight for you.

“Hi!” He cheered quickly popping a squat right next to you instead of going to his friends. “I’ve never seen you in here before.”

You rolled your eyes into your drink but threw him a tight lipped smile regardless.

“Yea, trying to make some new friends, I guess.”

He peered over at Cal who making a drink for someone else.

“I see that. You uh...you haven’t been at the clinic any of the times I’ve come in this week.”

“Well, I’ve been busy getting things prepared for Dr. Savage to retire so…”

“Oh. No, yea that makes sense. I just, you now, after that night you weren’t at the clinic on Monday morning. And then you didn’t text.”

“Neither did you.” You snorted.

Shawn took a pause then peering at you a little closer. You kept your eyes on your drink refusing to make eye contact. Subtlety wasn’t exactly your strong suit.

“Are you--Are you angry with me?” He asked.

You sniffed and shrugged, your shoulder so cold that the whole bar seemed to drop a few degrees.

“Look it’s no big deal alright? Whatever I thought was happening clearly isn’t happening. I’m a big girl I’ll get over it. I’m just not really interested in putting myself in a position to be toyed with.”

The whole time you had both been sitting facing the bar, knees tucked under the counter, but at your speech he turned so that his knees were facing you and turned your bar stool--way too easily one might say--so that yours faced his.

“What are you talking about? What have I done? Talk to me.”

His eyes were warm and inviting again, his jaw clenched just tightly enough to make it even more prominent. He wasn’t technically trying to invade your space, but he was so tall on the tiny bar stool that he kind of did anyway.

“You didn’t do anything. You practically sprinted out of my house the next morning and then radio silence? No text, no call, nothing. Like I said, it’s not a huge deal. I guess I just thought you were more interested than you are. That’s on me. I shouldn’t have shared so much of myself.”

You kept your eyes on your drink as you took one too many sips in the last five minutes. You were hoping he might get the hint and just get up and leave, because you were far more hurt than you’d let on. That night had meant a lot to you. You hadn’t felt so comfortable around anyone like that before. Shawn wasn’t just easy to talk to; he made you feel safe. He made you feel like anything that came out of your mouth was worthy of being listened to. You had almost thought that maybe all your worries about the move had been silly. He was the first person to really listen.

His hand on your knee brings you out of your thoughts and when you look up his eyes have turned more honey than brown once again.

“You think that I don’t like you? That I was leading you on?” He sputtered. “Y/n I’m crazy about you.”

“What?”

“I--I really did have to go that morning. I had a meeting with the guys, and I didn’t anticipate staying over so I had to rush because I overslept. I was going to text you, but a lot of shit has been going on lately. So, I thought I’d see you at the clinic that next morning! I brought your favorite breakfast and everything, but you weren’t there. I left a note, and I sort of thought you’d text me or something to hang out again but when all you said was thank you, I guess I got a little insecure. I just...I’ve been trying not to fuck this up because I think I like you more than you could even understand right now.” He sighed. “It looks like maybe I did just that though.”

“Wait, so you’re not like...intimidated because of the whole race thing?”

He shook his head. “Of course not. I couldn’t be more serious right now. I completely understood where you were coming from that night. I mean as much as I can as a white guy. That could never run me off. I promise you.”

You peered over at him trying to measure the level of bullshit he might be feeding you. The problem was his eyes were so soft and his face was so sincere. Even if you wanted to be mad at him, it felt like fighting something instinctual. It felt like something internal was telling you not to be mad at him. It was unlike anything you’d ever felt before.

“Okay.” You sighed. “I believe you.”

“Good. Can we maybe start over? I’ve been meaning to ask you out on a proper date. We can just talk, get to know each other.”

“Sure uh..when did you have in mind?”

He grinned sheepishly. “Is now too soon?”

You snorted. “What about your friends over there? Haven’t they been waiting on you?”

Shawn peered over his shoulder at the group of guys up in the corner, but quickly shook his head.

“They’ll be fine. What do you say? Can I take you to dinner?”

His eyes were hopeful, a glint in them that was pulling you in deeper and deeper. How dare he.

“Fine. It’s probably for the best, I was starting to get a bit tipsy with this drink.”

He took your hand and led you away from the bar, a room full of eyes locked in on both of you. You got the feeling that walking around with Shawn was bound to come with attention whether you liked it or not.

You go to one of the diners in town, the meal completely irrelevant to the company. It is exactly as it was when he was at your apartment. He makes you laugh and he asks you questions about your life, your friends, your past relationships, the things that make you happy. You talk about your favorite books and his favorite books. You learn that he loves music and plays guitar. He told you of his first kiss at the eighth grade dance in middle school with Julia Potterman and how their braces clashed together. You told him of Andrew Jackson who grabbed your boob at your first dance because his older brothers told him to. You laugh and you laugh until the diner is ready to close.

“Can I walk you home?” He asked when the bill had been paid.

You nodded softly. “Of course.”

He takes your hand in his, fingers intertwined, and leads the way back to your house. You feel like you’re just floating along with his fingers keeping you tethered to the earth. It’s incredibly soft and sappy but you just can’t help it. When you get to the door, you don’t want him to go. And that’s when you know you’re in deep.

“I’d uh I’d invite you in, but I have work in the morning.” You murmured stepping up onto the front steps.

He smiled. “It’s okay. I understand. Maybe I could stop by at the clinic around lunch time. You know just in case you’re hungry and don’t want to eat alone.”

“Ah. You know I do hate eating alone.” You chuckled.

“Yea? Me too.”

You bite your lip and watch the way the street light catches his cheekbone perfectly. He tugs his curls back into place and it brings attention to both his face and his arms. He knew exactly what the hell he was doing. When he takes a step onto the first step, just one below the one you’re standing on, he’s suddenly leaning over you with those eyes of his and those fucking arms. You peer up at him and maybe you bat your eyelashes a little bit who’s keeping track. He leans down and skims his nose against yours, fingers trailing teasingly along your hips.

“Can I kiss you goodnight?” He whispered, voice husky.

“Mhm.”

Kissing him is heaven. It is ridiculous, the way he feels. His hands on your hip, and cupping your jaw cause sparks to shoot across your skin. And you only want to be closer, need to feel him more. Your arms thread around his neck, lipps molding perfectly to his. He has the audacity to bite playfully at your bottom lip causing you to gasp, lips parting just enough for his tongue to slide between. Your heart thuds unevenly in your chest. Who gave him the right to kiss like this?

His fingers bunched up in your skirt and before you knew it you were flying through the air as he lifted you like a piece of paper. You didn’t like to think of yourself as light. You had hips and thighs and an ass and none of these things came without the consequence of some lbs. If you hadn’t drooled at the prospect of him leaning like a greek god against your door way, him wrapping your thighs around his waist like you were a rag doll would certainly do it. Jesus.

Your back hits the front door and he’s not letting up, keeps dominating your mouth in a way no one else ever has before. You can feel your skirt riding up, can feel his hips pinning you to the hard wood of the door, and it’s simply too much for you to bare. You pull away with a gasp, and he honest to god growls against your neck. It causes a twitch in your stomach that cannot be started if it won’t be finished.

“God, your lips are incredible.” He whined breathing just as uneven as yours. “Wow.”

“That was...yea.”

You barely make it back into your home alive. Even getting out of his arms and to the door means nothing when he’s still pressing chaste kisses against your neck. He leaves you with his famous good night, honey before skipping off and leaving you to collapse just inside the door. Wow.

***

“So Mrs. Stenson will be in around three today. She’s been having knee troubles for a few years. It may be time for another cortisone shot.”

“Mhm.”

“And, if you could check her mobility as well as that would be wonderful.”

“Of course.”

“And if you wouldn’t mind kicking me in the face that would be great too.”

“Not a problem.”

“Y/n you are not even listening!”

You peered up from checking the door for the umpeetenth time in the past fifteen minutes to Dr. Savage staring at you like a crazy person. Woops.

“Sorry. So sorry. Mobility and cortisone for Stenson. I’ve got you!”

He raised an eyebrow and stared at you for a moment, making your cheeks feel warmer as a result.

“What is up with you?”

“N--Nothing!”

And just like that the bell over the door dinged as your lunch date and general mind fuck of the month walked in.

He wore a navy blue button up and black ray bans which was a stark departure from his usual t-shirts at the bakery. You found him even hotter than normal.

“Hi.” You murmured voice way too light and high for your liking.

He beamed back at you. “Hi.”

You were just sort of standing there smiling at each other like idiots when Dr. Savage figured he’d had enough of whatever was taking place in front of him.

“Shawn, may I have a word, please?” He asked.

Shawn nodded not even bothering to take his eyes off you. “I’ll be right back and then we’ll go okay?”

“Okay.”

You set your notes back at your desk, putting away all of the files that were still out from the morning. Then you spent some time in the mirror trying to make sure that you looked good enough for your lunch date. You wore a yellow sundress and play aimlessly with the straps that criss and crossed along your back. Eventually you went snooping wondering exactly what they were talking about.

“How much longer are you going to let this go on?!”

“I don’t know, alright? I just need to make sure. I need to know that it’s real! I don’t want to ruin her life, if it’s not real.”

“It’s not about any one life, Shawn; you know that. Your father taught you that all decisions need to be for the good of the town!”

“Don’t fucking tell me anything about my dad!” He yelled.

A few moments later the door bursts open and Shawn looks flustered and angry. It’s a new look for him, and it’s not one you enjoy seeing on him. Your heart ached to see him in a state of anything but happiness. And you couldn’t explain it, couldn’t make it make sense. You just needed for him to be okay.

When he sees you he makes quick work of taking your hand in his and leading you out of the clinic. You intertwined your fingers with his and leaned your head against his shoulder. By the time you had rounded the corner, he was already more calm than he had been when you found him.

“I’m sorry about losing my temper. I am usually in much better control I just...sometimes Dr. Savage likes to use his relationship with my dad against me to get me to do things I don’t want to do. It’s a sore subject.”

You nodded up at him giving his arm a squeeze.

“Well maybe you can tell me about him sometime. When you’re ready. If you’re ready.”

He peered down at you, eyes completely returning to their softest form. Your heart similarly turned to goo.

“How do you do that?” He sighed.

“Do what?”

“Make everything better.”

You just shrugged. “I don’t know. Just like you when you’re happy.”

He smiled and kissed your forehead. The audacity.

And so became the norm. Every morning Shawn came for his meeting with Dr. Savage to talk about townsfolk stuff, and he always brought you breakfast. Usually he stuck around long enough to make you giggle like a school girl unless you were real busy with work. At lunch time you went together to the diner, or went and ate packed lunches in the park if the weather was good enough. Dinner times were a hit or missed only because Shawn tended to get busy with whatever the hell he did at night, but he always stopped by when he could. And when he did, dinner usually got long forgotten when he pulled you to the couch to kiss for what felt like hours. Whatever it was, you were in it together.

***

A boy comes in. He’s fifteen, maybe sixteen at the oldest, and he’s absolutely sweating buckets with apparently muscle pains from hell. You take his temperature and it’s a hundred and four degrees. You’re ready to get him into an ice bath until Dr. Savage comes into the room. He gives him a glance over and isn’t nearly as concerned as you are.

“How long has the fever set in?” He asked.

Eric winced on the table. “Since yesterday.”

Dr. Savage nodded and grabbed his pad of paper to write something down.

“Eric, listen to me. You need to go home and get some rest. This fever will break in a day or two. When that happens you’re going to want to call this number, okay? You’re going to have a lot of questions, and this is the person who can answer them. It’s going to be alright, son.”

As Dr. Savage was walking around the room to grab the paperwork you couldn't help but notice that the phone number written down on the sheet of paper looked oddly familiar. The problem was it was 2019 and who the hell had time to memorize phone numbers? But, you could have sworn you had seen it before somewhere.

When Dr. Savage came back and the boy had left, you refused to stay silent.

“Doctor...why would you send that boy home without even a prescription for ibuprofen? He had a serious fever.”

“We see that in our boys here at his age all the time. It’s just the sign of his changing. He knew it too, that’s why he came here. I do greatly appreciate your concern, but I assure you he’ll be fine.”

“His changing? Doctor are you trying to convince me that his fever is due to puberty?”

“You’ll understand in due time. I promise.”

It was so incredibly weird. You didn’t know what to make of any of it. Who the mysterious number was. Why Dr. Savage seemed to be keeping you in the dark. What the hell any of what he said actually meant. Whatever it was, he certainly wasn’t going to give you any answers. You made a deal with yourself that you’d reach out to Eric yourself after seventy-two hours. But, it wasn’t even a full two days later that you saw him, at Shawn’s shop no less while you were grabbing breakfast for you and Dr. Savage. He seemed absolutely fine. He was cleaning dishes from the tables and taking them back to the kitchen area. The fever had completely broken. It was strangest thing in the world, although somehow not strange enough to confront anyone over. It just become one of those things you thought about at night. Nothing more, nothing less. When a few more of the town’s boys came in with similar symptoms the exact same thing happened. One second they were in agony and the next they were fine. You had no clue of what to make of it.

***

He texted you on a Saturday to put on your rain boots because he was taking you for an adventure. You had to tell him that you weren’t interested in any white nonsense, before he was able to convince you to go with, “i promise to keep the white nonsense to a minimum, honey”. Your kind of man.

“Where are we going?” You asked as he waved your intertwined hands back and forth in the space between you.

He smiled. “I’m taking you to my happy place.”

His happy place was the farmer’s market in the city outside of town limits. The rain was a fine mist that day and Shawn wasn’t even wearing a jacket. His body just seemed to radiate heat unlike anything you’d ever seen before. You found it difficult to complain when he wrapped his arm around you beneath the umbrella you were sporting.

The people there knew him by name. He took you to all his favorite little booths which were mostly the fruits.

“I like trying to find new ways to make different baked goods for the shop. My dad used to bring me here as a kid and every recipe I’ve ever made comes from here.” He explained.

You watched him move around, towering over everyone he came in contact with. The large apples, grape fruits, oranges etc. all looked miniature in his hands. But when he was holding a strawberry to your lips and looking at you with nothing but joy while you ate, he couldn’t have seemed softer to you. He was kind of perfect.

“So...What do you want to eat? Pick anything.” He said arm waving out over the sea of people selling their own produce and other foods.

“What do you mean?”

“I figured we could come here, buy some ingredients, and I could cook for you. Or, we could cook together. Whatever you want.”

Wow.

“Where in the hell did you come from?” You sighed wrapping your arms around his waist in content.

He leaned to kiss you and smiled softly.

“Didn't you hear? I was made for you.”

***

“What do you want to do tomorrow?” He asked head nestled softly against your stomach as you lied in bed.

“Tomorrow is deep condition day.”

“Deep condition day?”

He lifted his himself up so that he was half on top of you, eyes as honey brown as could be. Damn you were so soft on him already. Just looking at him made you smile.

“It’s gonna take all day?” He frowned.

You giggled. “Yes, baby it takes all day. This here is a project. That’s why we don’t let you random white folk put your dry ass hands in it.”

He seemed to take that and ponder it for a second. Shawn had already grown used to your satin caps and satin pillows and tied scarves. He took it all in stride, was just as willing to ask questions and to understand as he was to just let you be yourself. It meant all the world to you.

“Hmmm...well can this random white folk hang out with you while you do it? I promise to keep my dry ass hands to myself.” He grinned.

“Hey now… I never said you had to keep your hand to yourself, just keep them out of my hair.”

“Ahhh. So, can I put my hands...here?” He murmured letting his fingers meld to the curve of your jaw.

“Yes.” You hummed.

“And can I put my hands...here?” He asked letting his hands run down to the curve of your hips.

“Uh huh.”

“And can I…” He whispered face leaning closer and closer towards yours.

You never let him finish before sliding your lips together.

Sure enough, the next day, instead of leaving only after having prepared you an adorable breakfast, Shawn followed you to the bathroom. His long legs stretched out against the length of the bathroom watching as you let the cold water seep deep into your curls before the host of products began to enter. He watched you condition, comb, and dentangle every strand before applying the deep conditioner that would sit for the vast majority of the day.

When the conditioner was in, and you’d covered your plastic bag egg head with a cap, you spend the entire day watching netflix crime documentaries and making out on the couch. It was the best deep condition day you’d had in months.

He let you lie on his chest and he traced shapes into your back underneath your t-shirt. He told you how good your hair smelled and sometimes when a drop of water would run down your neck he would chase it away with his thumb. It never ceased to make your body run hot.

When you finally went to rinse, Shawn ordered dinner for the two of you. You sat on the couch in one of his t-shirts, and slowly detangled and two-strand twisted your hair. By the time dinner arrived, you felt soft and warm and kind of obsessed with him. You couldn’t even think about food. You just wanted to be near him, just wanted to touch him.  

“Thank you for spending today with me.” You murmured. “Not a lot of men want to sit around all day just watching a girl deep condition.”

He smiled at you. “I just want to be with you, y/n. Doesn’t matter to me what we do.”

“Yea?”

“Yea.”

You rolled your eyes and snuggled deeper into his arms.

“Where is the hell did you come from?” You whispered not sure who you were asking in all honesty.

“I was right here waiting for you. What took you so long?” He murmured.

Wow.

***

You had started to learn about each other’s bodies. His lips mapped whole stories across your body, made your breathing uneven and your thighs tighten. He never took it further than that, but he did let you rile him up. And riling him up turned into your favorite pastime. When your teeth would graze his earlobe and that growl would rumble in his chest, fingers tightening on your body in the most delicious of ways, it would send you to this ultimate buildup of a moment only for him to suddenly decide that he needed to go. At first it was fine, but the more he kept building you up and leaving you hot and cold, the more you began to get a little bit frustrated.

It was a Saturday night, and Shawn was going to spend the night, so you had taken full advantage of straddling him on the couch. You’d been hoping on pushing the envelope a little more, but the second your fingers edged underneath his shirt, his hands came to wrap around your wrists.

“Babe.” He whined eyes closing. “You don’t know what you’re doing to me.”

You wiggled your hips slightly above where he was poking your ass through your shorts.

“I think I get the hint.” You chuckled. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.” He hummed thumbs rubbing softly along your hips.

“Well it’s just that...I think you’re attracted to me.”

He smirked, eyes running up and down your body.

“Yea.”

“And I’m attracted to you. And I don’t want to be too forward, if you have like a policy or something. Cause like if you do, that’s totally fine! I mean your body, your rules. You deserve autonomy ya know?”

“Baby?” He murmured squeezing you playfully. “You’re rambling.”

“Ah yes . . . Why aren’t we--do you like not want to?” You huffed and took a deep breath. “We haven’t had sex yet.”

“Oh.”

You winced. “Well it--it’s not a huge deal. It’s just been almost two months. And while it has been a wonderfully refreshing to not have someone trying to get into my pants on the first date...I guess I’m kind of trying to get into yours now.”

He stared at you with conflicted eyes like he sometimes did. There was something brewing under the surface, you just didn’t know what. The more you were around Shawn though, the more you became able to read him. Sometimes you got more out of what he didn’t say than what he did.

“I uh... I don’t know what to say.”

“Do you...maybe you’re not attracted me to in that way?”

His eyes widened. “Not even remotely. Trust me. I want to.”

You stared at him in complete and utter confusion. You were trying to understand and take his word for it, but none of this was matching up. Things with Shawn rarely did.

“You know sometimes you say things to me that don’t add up, and just expect me to believe them? It’s getting harder and harder to do that.”

You climbed off of his lap needing a little distance between the two of you. It wasn’t the thought of him not wanting to. If he genuinely had a reason that is. Sometimes it just felt like Shawn was flirting with the line of lying to you, as if he was purposely keeping important details for himself. You hated it. It drove you up a wall.

“Hey...I’m just--I’m trying not to hurt you y/n.”

You rolled your eyes. “Boy please. What exactly do you think you’ve got in your pants that is going to hurt me? Try again.”

“You don’t understand!”

“Then make me understand, Shawn! The coded riddles and town secrets shit is getting old.”

“I--I can’t. It’s not time yet.”

“See that is exactly the shit I’m talking about. Time for what? Why are you always acting so shady?”

He groaned and crossed the room reaching for your hands to pull you close. His forehead pressed against yours, and he smelled so incredibly good. You couldn’t deny that there was something drawing you to him, that there was a part of you that wanted him in ways that you yet to understand. But, you hadn’t gotten through life thus far letting people mistake your kindness and your heart for naivety and you certainly weren’t about to start now.

“Please just...give me some time.” He whispered against your lips. “I don’t want to rush this.”

“Fine. Take all the time you need. But, I can’t sit here and be lied to and played with while the whole fucking town seems to be in on the joke.”

“Y/n that’s not--”

“I think you should go.” You cut him off pulling your hands away. “I want you to go.”

He stared at you with hurt in his eyes and you had to stave off the instinct of reaching out and making it all better for him. You had to decide that you deserved before all else. It was the only way you’d been able to survive thus far.

***

Shawn: What are you doing tonight?

y/n: Minding my business.

Shawn: I want you to come over tonight. To my place. I’m gonna tell you the truth.

Shawn: I miss you

You paused peering down at your phone. It had been over a week since you’d asked Shawn to leave your apartment. It hadn’t exactly been radio silence, since he’d been trying to get in contact with all week, but you weren’t really interested in the half assed excuses anymore. You had planned to wait until he was ready to tell you the truth. You just weren’t prepared for him to cave that quickly.

y/n: no more bullshit?

Shawn: no more bullshit. Please come.

He sent you the address and another plea to show up. You weren’t quite sure what was leaning you towards going. There wasn’t exactly anything that pointed towards him suddenly being honest with you. The problem was you were kind of falling for this asshole, and so wanting to be realistic and wanting to be with him weren’t  lining up.

The house you pulled up to was far larger than anything you’d seen in the town thus far. It was nestled in the woods, all dark mahogany walls and big wide windows. It was big even by your standards, let alone for small town baker. You parked the car and headed for the front door where he seemed to be already waiting for you. He opened it and you could feel the nerves rolling off of him in waves. There was almost a sadness about him to. A sadness that had you stepping far closer to him than you should have.

“What’s wrong?”

He shook his head softly. “Nothing yet. Come in.”

He led you straight to a kitchen that was wide and vast just like everything about this place. You made a note to ask him about that later. Also, in the kitchen were the two guys from the bar: Brian and Geoff. Suddenly it was three on one and the atmosphere in the room had you stopping in your tracks.

“What’s going on?” You asked refusing to take another step forward.

“This is Brian and Geoff. They’re just here to make sure everything goes okay.”

“That sounds like exactly what the killer says in the movie where my black ass gets the ax.”

Shawn sighed and stepped closer to you.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think about how intimidating this might be. I’m just trying to make this go as smoothly as possible. No one is going to hurt you okay? I promise you.” He murmured feverently. “Trust me.”

“Christ, Shawn. Just tell me what you were going to tell me.”

He nodded and paced quickly around the kitchen before settling in front of you once again.

“Remember those cases you started having with the teen aged boys who were breaking out into sweats and muscle pains?”

“Yea. Dr. Savage said it was just them changing or something.”

“Exactly! And remember how he told you that I was the town leader and how I had to step up after my dad died?”

You nodded. “What the hell does that have to do with anything?”

“It has everything to do with it, y/n. Everything! I’m--I’m not just some town leader okay? People don’t just say hi to me when we’re walking around town because of who I am, but because of what I am.”

“Well what are you?” You asked, more confused than ever.

“I’m . . .I’m a wolf. My dad used to be the leader of this town, and my family is a long lineage of alphas. I’m not a town leader, I’m a pack leader.”

Time seems to hit a standstill as you stare at him. There’s a whole lot of emotions that flicker through you in rapid cession. Shock. Confusion. Acceptance. Anger.

“And that is my cue to leave.” You snorted turning for the door.

“Y/n I am telling you the truth!”

You turned on him rage coiling deep in your stomach.

“Did you put Cal up to this too? What the hell is the matter with you Shawn?! I mean why, why are you playing with me like this?”

“I can prove it!”

“Excuse me?”

“I can prove to you, that I’m a wolf.”

You simply did not have the time or the patience to continued to be toyed with. Shawn wasn’t taking no for an answer and proceeded to tug his shirt over his head.

“Okay what in the Black baby Jesus are you doing?!” You groaned as he began to work on his belt.

“I like this outfit. I don’t want it to get ruined.”

You peered over at his friends who were now just peering over in amusement.

“Are you aware that your friend is crazy?”

“Why yes, we absolutely are.” Brian snorted. “But jackass is actually telling the truth.”

“Turn around. It’s not actually all the pretty.” Shawn mumbled as he got rid of his jeans.

“Which part, you turning into a big dog, or you taking your underwear off?”

Geoff laughed. “Wait, I like her. Where have you been hiding her at?”

“Not now, assholes! Will you please, please just turn around?”

Your rolled your eyes as far back into your head as humanly possible before turning your back to the man who you’d thought you were falling in love with, but who was turning out to be almost certainly off his fucking rocker. You were about to start throwing out more snarky comments when the most horrendous sounds began to occur. It gave you the more visceral reminder of the time you had broken your arm by falling off your bike, the bone scraping so graphically against the concrete that your stomach lurched just thinking about it. But this was somehow worse. This sounded like bone scraping against bone, joints popping in and out. You wanted to turn, but something inside of you kept you frozen exactly where you stood.

The next thing that you registered was something pushing gently against your back. And when you turned, oh so hesitant, sure enough behind you was a fucking wolf. A huge, up to your chest, head the size of your body, fucking wolf. You still couldn’t believe it. You blinked over and over again willing for it to change. Everything in your life had been so straight and narrow for so long. Elementary school. Middle school. High School. College. Med school. Simple cause and effect. Every illness had a response, had something that you could offer it. Logic had always been your MO. But this. What the hell was this?

“I don’t…I don’t understand.” You whispered.

The wolf nudged its head against your stomach and wined paw reaching up to slap at your waist. He nearly knocked you over. You let your fingers slide through his fur, hair incredibly thick and lucious. When he leaned up on his legs you could see his eyes and that was what got you. Even in his wolf state, those eyes were unmistakably Shawn. They were warm and brown, the shade of honey much brighter. It was him though. That was your Shawn.

“Holy shit.” You gasped. “It’s really fucking you, isn’t it?”

He barked and nuzzled his head deeper into your arms.

Holy fucking shit.

Suddenly he was out of your arms and stepping back around to the other side of the kitchen. He barked at Brian and Geoff who easily translated.

“He’s gonna change back now. He wants you to wait for him in the living room, if you’re not too afraid.”

You weren’t sure that you would’ve made it to your car if you wanted to. You felt like your legs might give out any moment. It was a struggle even to make it to the couch. The whole time, you were trying to rationalize what your eyes had just seen, and trying to figure out how to make the puzzles pieces to fit together. There was a fear that maybe there was no logic to be had in this scenario. Perhaps the most logical answer, was the one that made the least sense in your head.

Shawn stepped into the room a few minutes later in nothing but a pair of sweats. Geoff and Brian were nowhere to be seen anymore, but that didn’t stop him from taking slow and deliberate steps towards you with his hands raised.

“Are you afraid of me?” He asked.

You stared at him trying to reconcile how his large body could be even bigger, and furrier to boot. It just was unbelievable.

“I...I don’t know.” You mumbled. “I don’t know about anything anymore.”

He sat on the couch, keeping an entire cushions distance from you.

“The reason that I had Brian and Geoff there was because...I don’t want you to be afraid. I guess in hindsight I didn’t think about how three random white guys might be all the more intimidating. I--I wanted you to feel safe. And I wanted them to be in their human forms just in case. I’m so sorry y/n. I wanted to do this all differently, but I couldn’t lose you. I’ve been trying to fight my instincts to satisfy, to do whatever you need for days, and it’s been killing me. I needed to do whatever would make you happy.”

“Holy shit, this is really happening, isn’t it?” You chuckled humorlessly letting your face fall into your hands.

“It is. But uh...you’ve got some choices to make so unfortunately there’s more.”

All you could do was groan.

“How could there possibly be more? If you tell me there are vampires walking around too, I’m having myself admitted.”

“Not exactly.” He chuckled dryly. “You’ve been feeling something since we met right? There’s a--a pull between us. It feels instinctual. Maybe you have a sense for what I’m feeling without me ever having to say it. You uh might feel the need to do whatever would make me happy, even when it’s not within your control.”

You raised an eyebrow but nodded.

“Yea. How did you know?”

“It’s not a coincidence. You and I...We’re mates.”

“We’re what now?”

“Mates. It’s sort of means we were created for each other. Like destiny or fate or whatever. Usually werewolves mate with other werewolves but not always. My mother’s human for example, and she still mated with my dad. You said you felt something pulling you to this town, like it was decided before you even consciously thought it. That was me. That was us.”

He now looked just down right sheepish. This man was essentially telling you that he was a dog and your soulmate all in one night, and has the audacity to try and smile at you while he did it. Your mind felt like it was about ready to explode. You couldn’t even fathom all of the information he was trying to make you take in. four years of med school had nothing on Shawn.

“So what we’re just...meant to be? Like we’re stuck together forever?” You asked.

You knew immediately that he’d been dreading you asking that question by the look of defeat on his face. And just like that the need to fix it came roaring back in your gut. It felt oddly nice to give that feeling a name now.

“N--No. It doesn’t mean that. If you decide that you hate me, or that this isn’t what you want for yourself you don’t have to stay with me. There are some cases of mated pairings not working out. It’s usually pretty terrible but...I would never make you stay if you didn't want to. I love you too much for that.”

Somehow out of all the things that he’d said that night, of all the feelings he’d made you feel, he was still able to shock you.

“Did you just say…?”

He reached for your hand and intertwined your fingers.

“I love you. It’s a bit different for me because I knew we were mates the second we met but...I don’t think being human could have changed anything. You’re just, you’re you. I meant it when I said I was crazy about you. I love every moment we get to spend together. I love your sense of humor, and how you’re probably the smartest person I’ve ever met. I would love to just be with you, if you’ll have me. No secrets. No half truths. No running off anymore. It would be just you and me, forreal this time.”

It felt good to hear. That part was undeniable. But you couldn’t help but feel incredibly overwhelmed by it all. Not just the “i love you”, but the fact that the first time you moved out of your home state you stumbled straight into supernatural shenanigans. When you had asked for Shawn to be honest with you, you figured he was maybe hiding an erectile dysfunction, or even a secret job as a hitman would have been less shocking.

“This is . . . a lot, Shawn. I don’t even know what to say to any of this.” You admitted.

He nodded softly eyes downcast. “Of course. If you want to go home, I understand. And if you don’t want me around anymore, you can just text me or something.”

You didn’t know how to explain not wanting to be alone. You couldn’t reconcile needing the space to think, and yet wanting him to be close by while you did it. It wasn’t fair to you or to him, but you found that now that you knew the truth, your instincts toward him were even harder to fight. You just wanted to be with him.

“Is it weird to not want to be alone right now?” you mumbled.

He reached hesitantly forward, tapping on your chin till your eyes met with his.

“No. Nothing you’re feeling can be weird right now. I just told you I’m a wolf, y/n.”

A chuckle passed your lips and you paused not sure if it was okay to laugh or not.

“It’s okay. You can laugh. I’d rather you laugh.”

“Can I--Can I stay here tonight?”

His eyes widened. “Yea. Yes, of course. You can stay in my room. C’mere.”

He leads you through the house, all wooden floors and wooden walls. There seemed to be a lot of patch ups, from what you weren’t sure, but you even passed the door you’d seen him get at the store all the months ago. It made you curious how violent wolves actually were. It was difficult to imagine Shawn as being anything other than kind and warm. Then again you’d never imagine him to grow four legs either.

“This house is so big.” You noted as he led you up the stairs.

“It’s been in my family for generations. The pack usually lives here. When my dad passed away, my mom couldn’t be here anymore, so I took over and she moved into an apartment.”

“Wait, so they all live here? Where are they?”

He shrugged pulling you into the last room at the end of the hall.

“I had everyone leave but Geoff and Brian. I thought it might be a little intimidating.”

His room was obviously the master bedroom. It was far bigger than yours, with the king size bed to match. There was a guitar in the corner next to the night stand. He had a picture of him, his dad, and his mom on his dresser. There were cookbooks and pastry books galore all on a shelf. It felt like him. It was so obviously him that you somehow felt immediately at home.

Shawn moved to his dresser pulling out one of his shirts and a pair of sweatpants. He then walked into his closet and pulled out a pink satin pillowcase before pulling it onto a fresh pillow and lying it next to the clothes.

“Here you go. You can change in the bathroom.”

You eyed the pillow curiously. “What’s that for?”

“Oh,” He scratched nervously at back of his neck. “Well I just remembered that you had one at your house. You said it was for your hair, right? So it doesn’t get messed up? I bought one off amazon so if you ever came over you wouldn’t have to worry.”

You stared at him, lips parted, because what in the entire fuck? Your eyes flickered from the pillow and back to him, heart doing another unsteady gurplunk in your chest. He had to be stopped.

“Is that...is that okay? Did I get the right one?”

You nodded. “Yea it...it’s perfect. No one’s ever done that for me before.”

“I just wanted you to feel comfortable here.”

Another layered statement. Another round of intense eye contact. He was sure to be the death of you one way or another.

You changed into the clothes and ran some mouthwash through your cheeks before stepping back into the room. Shawn was just sort of standing there with his hands in his pockets like he didn’t know what to do with himself. In your mind, you wondered how anyone that beautiful and chiseled could be so goofy.

“What now?” You asked.

“Nothing! I just didn’t know if you’d want to sleep alone tonight. You can if you want. I meant what I said about giving you space.”

You looked over at the bed and then at him before shaking your head softly.

“Don’t wanna be alone.”

The sheets are soft and they smell just like Shawn. The satin pillow is kind of perfect and when he turns the light off it’s almost like all the other nights you spent together. You’re almost able to forget that he’s just flipped your entire world upside down. It doesn’t help that you feel better being in a room with him, than you’d felt in a week. It doesn’t help that when he was describing all of the reasons why he might love you, they  matched perfectly with how you felt about him.

“I can hear you thinking.” He murmured into the dark.

You gasped. “What?!”

“Not like I can read your mind.” He snorted. “More like, I hear your heart rate increasing. I can feel your body language. Usually it’s the wolf instincts, but I think I’m just attuned to you at this point.”

“Oh...I guess I was wondering, when you didn’t want to have sex with me? You said that you didn’t want to hurt me. I still don’t get what you meant by that.”

He goes quiet for a little while, and you’re sure that you’ve struck a nerve. When he releases a little breath, you find yourself doing the same.

“Well it’s two things. I guess it’s why I started to freak out when you called me town leader?

I didn’t want you to know what I am. I didn’t want you to have to come into my world. I--I knew that you were my mate. I knew that I loved you, but every second you were in the dark you were safe. I didn’t want to lose you.”

“Safe? Does that mean that now that I know I’m not safe anymore?”

“No. I would never let anything or anyone hurt you. Not now, not ever. There’s just always a chance when you’re dealing with wolves. We’re protectors. Of the town, of our pack, of our families. That typically means there are things that one might need to be protected from. The closer you are to us the more likely it is to need protection. But I’m alpha for a reason. No one would ever touch you.”

You’d been laying their long enough for your eyes to adjust to the dark. You could see the firm set of his jaw to match the seriousness of his tone. Before you had even consciously made the decision, you were flipping over onto your side and nuzzling into his side. He quickly lifted his arm for you to slide beneath. The warmth he gave put your mind way too at ease.

“Tell me the other part.”

“The other part is...I’m kind of really strong. Inhumanly strong, obviously. And I just want to make sure that when I’m intimate with you that you don’t get hurt. Mated love making is...intense.”

You peered up at his face with raised eyebrows. “What kind of intense?”

“Remember what you thought happened to my bed to make it break? That kind of intense.”

Hmm. Hot.

You hummed. “Well I guess it has been so long since I’ve got laid, I’d welcome you throwing my back out at this point.”

“Not funny.”

“Not even a little bit?”

“Me breaking your back? No not in the slightest!”

“Well no one said anything about breaking it Shawn! I simply implied a little soreness and tenderness after a good dicking.” You snorted. “You werewolves. So touchy.”

“Oh my god. I’m in love with an actual dork.”

……

*Ten minutes later*

“I just want to point out that when I said no white nonsense, being a fucking werewolf was automatically on that list”

“Sweetheart, go to sleep.” He hushed.

“Yea, okay.”

****

*six months later*

“Babe have you seen my lucky head scarf! I’m gonna be late!”

“Did you check your hair drawer?!”

You rolled your eyes. “Yes! Coincidentally that was the first place I looked!”

“Well stop being sarcastic to me and just come downstairs!”

It was your first date completely running the clinic by yourself. Dr. savage had been slowly edging himself out over the past few months, but not without letting you in on the town secrets. Little did you know that being able to accept Shawn as a werewolf meant having to take care of all the werewolves. The clinic would be their safe haven if anyone got too hurt to heal, which apparently shouldn’t happen often because they healed super fast. A learning curve did not begin to describe all the shit you had been over in the last few months.

In the end it had been way too easy of a decision. You had woken up the next morning in Shawn’s arms and he had just stared at you with hopeful puppy dog eyes--which definitely held a new meaning now. You couldn’t leave. You didn’t want to. It had taken a while for you to get used to it all. He was incredibly gentle and understanding with you. And thus there you were...wrapped up in continuous white nonsense. Because love. Or whatever.

“Shawn,” You whined thumping down the stairs. “I really do need my scarf, babe. My edges are rough.”

You headed straight for the kitchen only to see your boyfriend standing there with a cinnamon roll the size of your head with a candle sticking out of it  in his hands, smile big and wide on his face. It had turned out to be your favorite after all

“Happy First Day!” He cheered.

Usually the kitchen was crawling with people in the morning, everyone trying to get their breakfasts in before going off to their respective days. This morning it was absolutely bare besides the two of them. You had gone on to notice over your months dating Shawn that when he wanted to be alone with you, he was going to be, and anyone else around wasn’t even an option. Again. Hot.

“What are you doin’?” You murmured playfully stepping up to claim your prize.

And it wasn’t the cinnamon roll. You had him put the plate down and quickly wrapped your arms around his waist. He took your cheeks in his hands, warm as always, and pressed a kiss to your lips that left you a little breathless.

“I wanted to celebrate my baby being the badass doctor in town.”

You giggled. “When you said you were letting the other guys open the bakery today, this was not what I was expecting.”

“You didn’t think I’d make you your favorite breakfast? I’ve been bringing you breakfast for almost a year now.” He chuckled.

“Hmm...it’s been a good year.”

“I would have to agree. I have your scarf. What do you say I drive you to work today before I head to the bakery. And after your first full day, I want to take you out just the two of us.”

Your eyes widened. “Really? No one else?”

“No one else. Just you and me. I’ve got a lot of plans for you today.”

“Oh really? What kind of plans you talkin’ bout sir?”

“The throw out your back kind of plans.”

“Well those just happen to be my favorite kind...C’mere.”

The End.

[pomomos]

Buyers Beware!! I've head to deal with three years of lies, don't go thru what I went thru!

My patience is officially maxed out and at this point I don't even care if I get my item or not. I've been scammed and I get that now (took me long enough right?) and I know I'm well within my right to expose the person who got my money and denied me the item I paid for.

This all started back in 2017. I was shopping on Etsy looking for a dress for my 1/6 girl and I came across a really cute shop that specialized in Blythe clothes. I knew my girl was smaller in the chest and wider in the hips so I figured that I could buy a loose Blythe dress for her and it would fit well enough. I've done that before in the past and the Blythe seamstresses I've purchased from before have all been a joy to buy from. So I went ahead and purchased a dress, as is, and I figured worst case scenario, I could put it on a vinyl fashion doll and still be happy that I have a cute dress. Well, that was just a straight fantasy that I was living because my plans never came to be 🙃

After waiting for my dress to come I decided "hey, why not try to message the girl and see what the holdup is!" And that's how I got held hostage in a THREE YEAR LONG CONVERSATION over my dress that's "totally going to be sent to me soon!" And here it is, not cropped out and only edited to hide personal information. Pay attention to the dates too.

Click for better resolution. (Anyone who has a hard time reading, feel free to message me and I'll send you the receipts thru your DM or a transcript)

She theb sends me the pics of the dress that she made and swore up and down that all she needed to do was close the back and it's as good as mine!! But the very funny thing is that the pics she sent me it 99.9% NOTHING like the pic advertising the dress I BOUGHT!

Literally the only thing that's similar is the pattern. It's a completely different cut. Completely different buttons. Completely different pearls. Completely different lace. It's just not what I ordered from a supposedly "in stock" item.

And honestly, I'll take the blame for this because I told her I was ok with it. Because to be honest, I was. I don't HATE IT hate it. It's ok for what it is. And after a year of her playing me I knew that PayPal claim wasn't going to happen so I took my loss for what it was because I thought at least I was gonna get something right? WRONG! All I got was more of her lies.

Here's where you can tell she clearly got sick of me 😊 guess I'm such an annoying naggy rude mouthy customer huh? I guess all the times I said thank you and have her compliments and asked about her life was just too much for her to deal with so obviously the best thing for both of us was for her to ghost me ❤️

Well after she went silent I did something that I should have done a long time ago. I did a little research on her. (I'm not winning any genius awards anytime soon and I had so much faith in her for years and I can admit that I should have looked her up after the first few convos.)

So I search for her and I found out that little miss is a very busy business woman! Apparently she has store fronts all over the place! AND ON TOP OF THAT!!!!! She's apparently a very sought after dealer who is always in constant communication with the people she deals for and the businesses she's buys from. She's also super active on her Instagram account and even posted on it a day after I sent her my last message on Etsy. Guess getting those sweet likes is more important then giving someone the item you sold to them years ago.

And after my sluething I found one of her store fronts accepts questions thru her email so I absolutely hit that shit up and I snapped on her. (The ordering got a little bit funky so I made sure to number everything)

So after all that, after one last lie then her finally giving up and offering to refund me, the three year ordeal is "over". And to my great surprise she actually did! After all this time she actually sent €33.45 my way! Not before making me wait of course. She sent it to me this morning after I already asked for a refund on the 1st, but hey, baby steps right? (At least she didn't force me to wait until 2023 for the stuff she owes me lol)

But really, I'm just so tired of this run around. I hate that I've been this stupid and gullible and nice. I hate myself for being forgiving and understanding to such a liar and a scammer. She never gave a damn about me but for some reason I kept giving her nothing but kindness. I don't know what it was about me and my order that it wasn't good enough for her attention and effort, but that's all over and done with now.

Weather or not I get the item now is irrelevant. If me exposing her can save someone of the headache of having to deal with Estefania/Felicity then I can at least feel good about that. Here's the shops to avoid and the social media to block.

This nightmare that she made me live thru is now over and done with. I can breathe in a sigh of relief. It was a very sobering learning moment and I know from now on not to be trusting or hopefully with ANYONE I buy from. I hate that I have to feel like this now, but the rose colored glasses are off for good.

I finally get it now.

[thenotsobad-thebad-andtheugly]

Minnesota Clay (1964)

[redroadrot]

Furbler asks! Don’t remember where I found them

1. Which of your furbies is your favorite?

Gamzi is by far my favourite! My lil juggalo son

2. How many furbies do you have?

5! 6 soon! (Ones on his way) 2 1998, 1 baby,1 connect, and 1 boom

3. Do you prefer adults or babies?

I don’t prefer either really, I love the babies voices but the adults have more colour options and I love their purring/growling

4. Do you customize furbies?

Yup!! All of mine except my connect is customized!

5. How do you feel about oddbodies?

Honestly some of them make me uncomfortable but I love them to bits!

6. What is your dream furby?

The frog furby!!!! HAND HIM OVER

7. Do you have any special edition furbies?

Nope! But I want jester and racing!

8. Do you prefer mane or no mane?

I love them both a lot but both my adults have the mane so I’ll say mane

9. Do you leave the batteries in all the time?

No, I had batteries explode doing that as a kid and both my adults didn’t work for a while because of leaked batteries. I at most leave them in for a few days if I’m playing with them lots

10. Do you prefer 1998, 2005, 2012, or 2015 furbies?

1998 furbys are by far my favourite but I love how creepy 2005’s are and how soft connect’s are

11. Have you ever met a furby from a foreign country?

I have not but I really want one!

12. Do you take your furbies outside?

Yes!! I have an outing planned soon!

13. How often do you take photos of your furbies?

Hard to say, every few days I probably take a few pictures

14. Do you have any headcanons about furbies?

I do! I believe that the different generations are just different sub species of furby and their colour patterns are different breeds that sparked due to selective breeding or environment! For example the frog furby lives in creeks, streams and swamps! It’s green to blend in with the foliage and hide from predators.

15. Do your furbies have backstories and personalities?

They do! Their still works in progress but I’ll tell you guys all about them when I’m done!

16. Do you make art about your furbies?

I do! I have lots of Gamzi and will be drawing my others!

17. Who is your favorite furby blogger?

Either @rancidbunny or @furbypurrs

18. Did you have a furby as a child?

I did! My furby Baby was given to me as a kid because she was bought for my mom before I was born! Hatz was also my childhood furby, I got him at a yard sale because I loved Baby so much

19. Are you known by your friends as “the furby person”?

Very much so

20. Which of your furbies has the strangest name?

Mmm I think Hatz is a pretty odd one! I’m probably naming the one that’s on his way Shuffle and Shake

21. Do you own a furby buddy?

No sadly

22. Do you own a furby keychain?

Nooo ;-;

23. Do you own furby products that aren’t furbies?

No I don’t, I want the carrier though

24. What’s your favorite color of furby?

Frog frog frog frog

25. What’s your favorite special edition furby?

Jester or racing I can’t decide,, I’ve just got a thing from clowns and that crowd

26. Where did you buy your furbies?

Baby was bought new while they were still being sold, Hatz was bought from a garage sale, Gamzi and Beethoven were bought from a vintage toy and comic store I frequent and my 2 booms(counting the one I don’t have just yet) were gifted to me by friends and we’re bought for or by them when they came out.

27. Do you buy clothes and accessories for your furbies?

I bought a collar for them that I didn’t end up using but most of their stuff has been hand made by me

28. Were any of your furbies gifts?

My booms and technically my baby

29. Did you used to think furbies were creepy?

Nope! I’ve always loves them

30. Do you have a long furby?

NOT YET BUT SWISS CHEESE WILL BE MINE ONE DAY

31. How long have you been interested in furbies?

my whole life but I’ve only been in and aware of the community for like, 4 months? Same for actively trying to search for 1998’s

32. How long have you had your furby?

I’ve had baby my whole life,

33. What got you interested in the furby community?

I seen strange aeons do her tumblr deep dive on it and was so happy to find out I wasn’t alone and that there’s a whole community for this!

34. Do you have a furbysona?

Yup! Gamzi!

35. Do you have furby OCs?

I consider the furbies I own as my ocs

36. Do you talk about your furbies a lot?

Too much

37. Do your furbies help you relax?

They do! I feel much more calm to comb them and pet them and play with them, just holding them makes me feel much calmer especially if I’m having bad anxiety

38. How often do you turn your furbies on?

Usually at least once every 1-2 days

39. Do you have any furbies that are broken?

Baby got her eyes put back together wrong I think so they don’t work right now but that’s an easy fix, Beethoven can’t open his eyelids though, and Gamzi’s speaker sounds a lil funky which I love but other then that they all work!

40. Have you ever tried to repair a furby? Did it work?

Yes! I fixed both Hatz and Gamzi since they had batteries leak in them! Gamzi was bought that way

41. Have you ever skinned a furby?

All of them except Beethoven

42. Where do you keep your furbies?

My 1998’s have a lil shrine at the bottom of the stairs and the others are constantly moving around the basement craft/hang out room

[idolish7rabbitchats]

Izumi Iori: Holiday Collection 2018 Rabbit TV Part 1

1: It’s with the famous cosmetic brand, “G-Rit”s Christmas project huh?

Tsumugi: Yes! The theme of the project is to be a gift for yourself, and a gift for people who worked hard this year!

T: It will be a huge Christmas-ish project with a poster shooting, a CM shooting, and a theme song recording!

7: A cosmetic CM huh? That's rare since it's more common for actresses to do it!

T: This is a new attempt huh! This time you’re with TRIGGER-san and Re:vale-san!

3: Ooh, then it's reassuring!

6: By the way, “G-Rit”s G is for Glitter…. The brand concept is that they “Always want you to be shining.”

4: As expected. Nagi-chi knows a lot.

5: “G-Rit” is a brand I’ve heard a lot about. It says it’s a Christmas project, does that mean they'll release some limited-time products?

T: Yes! “G-Rit”san will be selling a Christmas Coffret set!

T: People who buy the coffret can get a limited-edition card with the idols' Christmas message.

7: I’ve heard of the word “coffret” but, what exactly is it? Does that mean cosmetic in another country?

6: In French, it means jewelry box or pouch. In Japan, it means a small box or pouch in which there’s a makeup set.

3: Ah, I see! I thought it meant cosmetic.

4: I thought it was a snack. Cuz the sound.

T: I see! It seems the project for this time’s coffret will include the pouch, a lipstick, eyeshadow, and nail polish!

T: At the poster shooting, we are planning to shoot while holding the actual coffret!

1: Might as well actually use it, not only hold it.

1: Like for the nail polish, it's easier to tell the color when you put it on your nails.

T: That’s good! I'll tell them that!

2: Because we are in this industry, cosmetics are somehow common for us, but it’s become more common for men recently.

5: It might be interesting to give it as a gift.

6: I want to present it to every girl I love. They are beautiful as usual, but when they wear makeup, I can see a different beautiful side of them.

T: This time’s concept is the perfect thing for a gift huh!

5: When I imagine that our posters will be put up around town during Christmas season, I’m nervous but I’m also excited.

T: Yes! It will be a huge advertisement, I'm excited from now on...!

7: I want to advertise it so that every fan thinks it's a reward for working hard this year!

[Text Message Sound Effect]

3: ...Ah, a Rabbit Chat from Momo-san.

3: “To go with the project concept of it being a reward, shouldn’t we have a Christmas party too?! Let's give rewards to each other too!"

3: Is what he said! It's a Christmas party invitation!

4: We’ll be able to eat good food right?! I wanna go!

7: I wanna go too! What does giving rewards to each other mean?

3: Seems like a gift exchange. It's fine with small things for 12 people. Everyone gives, everyone receives.

1: So are we giving those to everyone, not exchanging?

4: I’ll get 12 presents? Awesome.

2: Tama, excluding yourself it’s 11.

2: But what about the date? It’s a busy time and isn't it hard to adjust everyone’s schedules?

T: Right, I’ll check in a bit! It’s important for everyone to relax too so I'll work hard on what I can.

5: Thanks, Manager. If there’s something I can do, I’ll help.

7: Me too me too!

T: Okay, thank you!

7: I’m looking forward to it! A present for everyone, I wonder what’ll be good? I should prepare it before the party!

5: Right. Our senpais are gonna be there too, I need to be careful with choosing the gifts... How about Yamato-san?

2: Anything acceptable would be fine? Anyways, I'll think about it between jobs.

6: You say that, but isn’t Yamato going to do something funky?

2: That’s you isn’t it.

6: OH! I'm not always like that. You can look forward to that day.

3: Okaay! Aim for Christmas party, let's work hard and receive the reward for a year!

Everyone: Yeah!

1: The fashion magazines targeting women finally arrived...

1: If it’s a Christmas coffret job, there are probably also interviews about cosmetics.

1: At that time, we will lose our client’s trust if we don’t know makeup terms, trends, and styles.

1: To prepare for the worst, at least I have to be able to answer that.

1: It should be enough if I look over this amount of magazines.

1: Looking at it this way, cosmetics brands and idol groups are the same.

1: They have different colors and strengths. Even though they broaden items on a large scale, they should differentiate from others...

1: …….! This is….!

1: A cosmetics collab with Usamimi Friends!

1: By designing it for adults, they broaden the age groups of the purchasers...

1: ……….

1: Manager….. You’d probably buy this right….

[Knock knock]

2: Ichi, I’m coming in.

1: Ni-Nikaido-san….?! W-Wait a second!

2: What is it, are you changing? It’s okay, Onii-san will close his eyes.

[Door Opening Sound]

1: W-....!

2: Can I open my eyes?

1: I’m not really changing!

2: Ah, is that so? Then, I’m letting myself in.

1: …. What is it?

2: Sorry sorry, I wanted to borrow the book Ichi had been reading in the living room before this...

1: Ah… That huh. You were saying it looked interesting huh...

2: Hm? Are you hiding something behind your back? A magazine?

1: No! This is...

2: .......

2: Sorry. I’ll come again.

1: D-Don’t misunderstand!  This is a fashion magazine!

2: Fashion magazine?

1: For the Christmas coffret job, I was gathering info.

2: I see. Is that so.

1: Geez… Don’t jump to conclusions.

2: True. It’s piled up on here too.

2: So did you understand something?

1: ...That the cosmetic field has their colors like the idol field, and...

2: Yeah yeah.

1: And that Nikaido-san doesn’t wait for an answer before opening the door.

2: Ahahah. Sorry sorry.

1: Geez.

2: Is it all really fashion magazines?

1: It’s a fashion magazine!

[koisurufortunecephalopod]

A Comprehensive Guide to DESURABBITS

Hey guys, your friendly cephalopod here to tell you all about the group I’ve fallen in love with! 

(ripping of shades sorry not sorry)

So what is this group?

Formed as DEATHRABBITS (デスラビッツ) in late 2013 when the idol group usa☆usa Shoujou Club (usa☆usa少女倶楽部) of Mochizuki Emi, Okawa Yuzu, and Yasui Karin did a crossover unit featuring the section chief of their indies label G-ANGLE RECORDS and vocalist of the digital hardcore unit AKIRADEATH, Kanzaki Akira. While “Bucho” supplies backing death metal screams and often stands around menacingly in the background, the girls sing and dance like any other idol group. Their style is often described as “Japanese Death Pop”, often compared to BABYMETAL and (OG) LADYBABY with how it has maybe a slight bit of an edge compared to other songs in the idol genre, plus metal influences. 

For the past six years, they’ve evolved their sound in a variety of different ways, trying different styles with their latest released song “Sotsugyou Shoujo- Mirai E” taking on more of a rock influence. They’re one of those groups that tends to just throw stuff at the wall to see what sticks. One of these being “ramen editions” of their singles. Starting in 2016, the singles sold at their live shows are packaged with dry ramen, and purchasing one also sends packets of ramen to disenfranchised areas of Malaysia. Unfortunately as of 2019, this is being discontinued (although the members and staff have expressed interest in replacing this with ramen edition goods). They’ve also changed their name (confusingly) a few times as well-- to Desu.Rabbits (です。ラビッツ) in 2016, and recently to DESURABBITS (デスラビッツ) in February 2019. Either way, most fans affectionately refer to them either as “DesuRabi” or “Rabbits.” 

Also fun fact, Bucho is bffs with Ladybeard because of course those two are friends. They crowdfunded a unit song that’s a collaboration between their groups called “DEADLIFT RABBITS”

Members!

Mochizuki Emi (望月愛実)

Currently 17 and about to start her final year in high school, Emi is the youngest member of the group and was only a sixth grader in elementary school when she joined. Her parents were both involved in the music industry, leading her to become interested in becoming a singer from an early age. She’s the lead vocalist of the group as well as the center of all currently released songs. She’s the one who gets all of the long solo parts and has always had a rather strong voice since she joined.  Emi’s grown up A LOT since the early days (they’ve never posted heights on their profiles, so we’re not sure, but she has guessed that she’s grown about 15cm (~6 inches) and has gotten a much more mature hairstyle. As the baby of the group, in some of their older material, she would often come across as a little spoiled and quick-tempered and compared to that she’s really mellowed out, becoming more mature and cool-headed.  Her English pronunciation is impeccable, but she actually isn’t very good at speaking it in conversation.  Before member colors were abolished in 2019, her image color was pink! She also posts song covers on her personal Youtube channel, but it hasn’t been active for a while. 

Okawa Yuzu (大川柚)

Yuzu is the leader and often the one tasked with leading MCs and acting as the spokesperson of the group. Since joining, her catchphrase has been “Always full of energy,” which is something that describes her well. While she isn’t necessarily a ball of sunshine bouncing off the walls, she has more of an intense “Let’s give 100% to everything” sort of energy to her. She takes her role as leader very seriously; consulting with staff about the direction of the group and recently dying her hair ash pink and requesting that her new costume look “strong and like she can fight in it” in order to really highlight how their new era is about taking a new direction.  Since early childhood, Yuzu has aimed for a career in show business. Originally wanting to be a talent or a broadcaster, she eventually studied dance in order to become an idol. From there she made connections with singer-songwriter and producer of other idols and artists (such as KOTO, Terashima Yufu, and TsubasaFly), SAWA. She is the best dancer in the group, so look for her if there’s a dance break.  Her voice is the deeper one out of the girls, although she doesn’t get as many solo parts as Emi. It was announced recently that she will be getting her first center song as the double A-side with “Sotsugyo Shoujo”, “Demo, Nigenna.” She’s also an avid bookworm and very studious, and will be attending university this spring.  Her member color was previously purple! 

Yasui Karin (安井夏鈴)

Karin is the oldest of the three girls and the mood maker. She’s carefree and my pace beyond my pace. If she actually speaks during an MC (and isn’t just staring off into space the entire time), she will most likely forget what she’s saying halfway through the sentence because she’s always off in “Kariko World” as she calls it. She has a very distinct way of speaking that’s very slowly rhythmic, so she will often get speaking lines in songs (and recently something of a rap verse). Her singing voice is also the most “idol-like” of the three-- high pitched and sweet-- but while she also doesn’t get many solos, it’s very easy to pick out. Also she has such sweet guitar skills. She and Tomo-zo should totally collaborate. Totally. I can’t find much about her background, but I do want to say on a personal note that she was the first member to remember my name and that I was a Bucho oshi after even the first time I saw them. And every time she’s the one taking the cheki, the camera “somehow” doesn’t have any film in it and you two just have to hold that pose for a bit. Karin will also be attending university in the spring and I am so proud of her.  She used to be the green member!

Kanzaki Akira (神崎晃) Bucho (部長)

The 41-year-old section head (or “bucho” in Japanese) at the record label G-ANGLE RECORDS with a background in singing in metal, grindcore, enka, and classical styles who was a vocalist in a handful of metal and rock bands from high school that never went anywhere, Bucho officially emerged in the music world in 2006 with the underground digital hardcore duo AKIRADEATH. As such, Bucho’s role in DESURABBITS is to provide backing death metal vocals (and rap). At 190cm (~6′5′’) with his gas mask and body armor, he can strike an intimidating figure. Despite this, he usually plays the part of a bumbling goofball of an “uncle” figure to the rebellious teenage girls. He himself is a huge idol wotaku (which is really annoying at events when you’re trying to get a two-shot with him and he’s wandered off to get in line for a different idol group. The girls however seem to find it hilarious to yell across the very crowded room for him to get back here because Loren wants to take a cheki with him) and has done video streams talking about the state of the idol industry. While he definitely doesn’t dance (but is incorporated into the choreography sometimes), he does his best in the back to kind of furi-copy or give gestures for the wota-gei if he’s not bumping into things.  As technically a part of the record label staff, there is something of a debate over his status of a member. Since the early days of the group, there was a theme of “Emi, Yuzu, and Karin vs. Bucho,” with even several of their one-man concerts being titled as such and given the caveat of “if tickets sell out, Bucho will be fired.” However, as of their 2019 makeover, it was announced that they will be “graduating” from this image and “allowing” Bucho to be a member.  In the earlier singles, his involvement was a lot larger (often having full verses), but his vocal parts have been scaled down a lot since 2015. Since 2018, he has remedied this by often having a DJ set up behind the girls and DJing live along with their performances (doing some sick mashups while singing, it’s pretty sweet), and their most recent song plays this up. He also does solo DJing as “DJ Bucho.” Not to be confused with “DJ Akira,” which is just what he calls himself when he talks in an “ikemen voice.”  His member color was black!

Okay, so what about their music?

WELL I’M GLAD YOU ASKED. HAVE A COMPREHENSIVE LIST OF MY OPINIONS. 

“Idol STAR WARS”

Their very first song. The girls are at peak baby. Emi is a literal fetus. 

I actually really like the instrumental for this, it has a bit of a gritty electronic edge to it. It sets the precedent for their style of “cute but with a screaming man”, but is a bit more so, because Bucho actually has verses???

The chorus is pure sugar pop though I love it

But what I love more is Bucho just hecking going off with the verbal keysmash screams after the final chorus. Fucking spectacular you funky bastard.

I’m pretty sure they only filmed like seven minutes of video for the music video. I’m not convinced Bucho and the girls were ever in the same building. 

“Hell Near Bucho ~ Ugokisugi da yo Nihonjin 2013 ~”

The B-side off of Idol STAR WARS, so still pretty old form with the line distribution but

Bucho screaming about having a hernia for four minutes

ngl because of the title being partly in English and the album version having a random-ass intro with an American woman talking about Bucho battling an endless battle with the enemy of “hell near” i didn’t actually make the connection for months and thought this was like. DesuRabi Lore. 

OKAY BUT THAT CHORUS IS SO CATCHY AND PEAK IDOL I LOVE IT

And A+ screaming I love it

I really want to see it live at least once because the “Hell! Near! Bucho!” chant part sounds like it would go so hard

“Koisuru Kisetsu”

Second single, getting into their style a bit more

But they still acknowledge that like... Bucho has a name.

I highly recommend checking out the subbed version because the things Bucho is screaming about are just. What.

Literal Rabbits to represent Emi, Yuzu, and Karin

Emi, Yuzu and Karin just being like “The lyrics are kinda dark... Bucho’s singing about his love life again lmao let’s just hecking change this song because we wanna sing something else

Just hecking shove him behind some fake cherry trees. He’ll be fine.

“Omatsuri JAPAN!! Kokuhaku Night”

This is probably their most straight-up idol song. Like you could legit just have this song without him grunting in the background, but why would you want that.

Like that sounds weird by itself but trust me it really pumps up the energy of the song

It’s one of the songs that’s an absolute bop at lives, especially when they shuffle around who does the “Daisuki desu” line. And then we mosh. 

Listen it just has such a great energy that you don’t always get in the “cute summer love song” niche of idol songs and I greatly appreciate this

“DESURABBITS Gun no 7 Kajou”

Another one I highly recommend watching the subbed version for because it outlines the “Seven rules of the DESURABBITS Army”, and is basically the theme song and list of principals for the group and fans. 

Music and MV aside, I want to say that this was one of the things that REALLY sold me on the group, as the rules are all “do your best at your life outside lives, be kind to one another and the live venue” and the fanbase really reflects that. Like they’ve welcomed me more than Gachamen/pinkos which is kind of an accomplishment. 

Like you don’t gotta make your edgy idol group 2edgy4me, you can still be about respecting the fans of other groups and the other fans and just having a good time. 

ANyways

Yuzu: Yeah we have no idea what the fuck Bucho is ever saying

Emi’s vocals in the pv are really great for her age and I wish there were better quality live versions for it recently bc dang she’s improved so much

This is another goes absolutely insane at lives with the “WE! ARE! DESURABBITS! DESU!” chant it’s amazing

I do kinda love the bit where it looks like they’re going to go into a dance break and all they do is... spin. 

Also they call Bucho a mascot character

“Usagi no Kimochi”

Honestly this song is just kind of hilarious once you realize that it’s basically just “don’t talk shit online and come watch our shows”

Complete with Bucho fucking murdering the Twitter bird

They’re starting to change their styles a bit with many tonal shifts and fewer Bucho parts. I’m not personally too into the verses, but I do like the choruses

I really dig the way they go in on the “pyons” at the beginning as well as the piano parts

DJ AKIRA GA KONNICHIWA

“Chuuni no Natsu. Ojisan no Natsu.”

This is a very good summery idol song just in general and mood which I love, with that lovely piano, string, and Emi-solo intro. Very refreshing and nostalgic with a good energy to it. 

THEY LET BUCHO SING!!!! About how much he wants to go to the beach but can’t because he has work just let him go. 

But for real, I really love his singing voice here. It matches well and has a bit of a punk rock sound to it which is my jam outside of idols. Also in the last chorus the way all four of them harmonize is surprisingly nice!

Also as a song that really sums up the relationship between Bucho and Emi, Yuzu, and Karin, it’s hilariously fitting. 

KUSAI, KUSAI!

O-Ji-SA-N!

“Nande?”

First things first the video is amazing like could you guys not shoot on the same day who came up with the story what is going on who believes Bucho could fight ninjas

But honestly that’s kind of the point

ngl this is my favorite DesuRabbi song, because: 

A) HOOKS FOR DAYS. From the “nande naze nande naze nande naze” to the “chikirichi, chikirichi, chikirichi” to the “nande, nee, nande”

B) honestly joining the fandom I was in the mindset where I needed something to express my “why what what the fuck what why what”

and this song supports that that is okay. If you can’t have a happy idol song that is just like “lmao we don’t know what’s going on and that’s fine” idk you’re a stronger person than me I guess??

Also the video

This also really marks the shift into Bucho taking a backseat to the girls, which ye Emi’s voice is clearly getting stronger

But tbh the highlight for me is Karin’s solo at the start of the bridge. Her voice is perfect for the whimsical tone they’re going for at that part of like “hey it doesn’t matter my dude!”

“Shitsuren Shitara Wasabi”

Okay, just gonna be up front, I’m not the biggest fan of their 2016-2018 “です。ラビッツ” era songs. They tried experimenting with songs a lot more with tone changes and different styles, and honestly I just found them lacking the same energy. However, I love this song a lot as it has that with that same “throw a bunch of things at the wall at once”

The tone is a lot more mature than their older material, but you still get the energy, especially in that chorus

The girls are the focus, and even though Emi still has ALL OF THE SOLOS, Yuzu gets some spots too, especially her spoken line which kind of makes this “her song” among her oshis and I’m really happy that she got that since she was the only one who didn’t have that before this

The lyrics are just so hopeful and good??? Idk maybe I’ll translate someday

WASABI WASABI WASABI KURE

“Sotsugyou Shojo-Mirai E-”

Or as I like to call it “When the heck did you guys get a budget???”

This is the first song with a different producer and uh... yeah you can tell. It’s radically different with a darker, rock image, but the lyrics are really hopeful and nice. I translated them over on my jp twitter if you’re interested??

THAT BASS THO

Yuzu’s voice suits this well with her very short solos. I feel like Karin’s solo singing part barely sounds like her, but I do like her little “rap”

And of course Bucho’s rap. What a nerd I love him. 

Seriously where did they get a music video budget

I’m more into their old stuff just because that’s what I like, but I do really appreciate that they went for a harder sound but keeping the hooks and the hopeful outlook and the weird old man who stands behind them

This is most definitely the most intense dance they’ve done. Emi and Karin tried very hard. 

Okay we get it so how do we follow them?

Unfortunately, on one hand, DesuRabi very much are focused on live performances as part of the underground idol tradition. They don’t have a very active release schedule, and while their Youtube channel sometimes posts live videos, it’s a bit sporadic. HOWEVER, they are a group that if you somehow manage to get to Japan, I would HIGHLY recommend checking out, if only for the fact that they have lives almost every weekend which are very cheap and very easy to get tickets to. Unless it’s a larger event or through a different event planner, usually you just reserve under a name and email and pay at the door. The DesuRabi Army is super nice and accepting and I will possibly be there. 

But other than that: uh yeah, social media. 

Official Youtube

Official Website

Twitter (group)

Twitter (Emi)

Twitter (Yuzu)

Twitter (Karin)

Twitter (Bucho)

They’re all fairly active on twitter (although Karin will sometimes just kind of... fade from existence). Emi, Yuzu, and Karin seem to have SOME rules on when they can reply, but Bucho just replies whenever he wants, which is often. Even sometimes when he isn’t tagged in the conversation or following you. They’re always very excited to see foreign fans, so tell them Loren sent you!

[oneletterelliot]

Don’t Call Me (SHINee) - liveblog reaction

I’m finally sinking my teeth into the new SHINee album. For the title track, this is doubling as an MV reaction too.

Don’t Call Me - I’ve never seen a SHINee music video before! Concept is immediately intriguing, like what’s the story here? Oh, the vibe of the music is unexpected. I like this styling that reminds me of a raven. I really like the beat. I hope there’s a dance practice video, because I like the choreography and want to see more of it. I’m sure this set is mostly CG but I LOVE it. Kinda reminds me of the five minutes of Bioshock that I played. Creepy masks remind me of NCT 127′s “Simon Says” MV. I think my least favorite part of the song, musically, is the repeated “Don’t call me, don’t call me,” chant during the chorus? I do quite like Onew’s voice. Okay, I really like this shot of the phone submerged underwater. Holy shit this piano??? LOVE IT. Taemin’s voice is also very strong. Oh, I like the typography subbing a 7 in for the apostrophe on “don’t” because it’s their 7th album.

Rest of the album below the cut because long post:

Heart Attack - The very opening instrumental reminded me of “First Love” by NCT 127, but once the vocals started, the whole vibe shifted. It’s smooth but driving. And I like it. Makes me want to dance. The bassline makes me very happy. Oh hey, I think I’ve reached the point where I can distinguish Taemin’s voice from the others. (Makes sense since I’ve listened to a few of his solo songs and also SuperM.) Wow, the ending snuck up on me.

Marry You - Funky. I really like this bassline, but I don’t care for the lyrics “Girl, I just want to marry you, right here, here now.” I mean, it’s about what I was expecting based off the title, but it’s just not my thing. Another pretty smooth song. It’s fine, but not doing much for me, musically. I guess I appreciate the harmony in the chorus. Voice at the 2:44 mark is nice. (Edit: I looked it up, and it’s Onew. I have been somewhat prone to his voice in the past, so that checks out.)

CØDE - Just based off the title alone, if this song doesn’t go hard, I’m going to be disappointed. Promising start. The synthy instrumental is doing things for me. Oooh, a very driving beat. Someone at the 0:42 mark has a head voice. (Edit: Looked it up, and it’s Key, which is unexpected to me for whatever reason.) Okay, this song doesn’t go that hard, but I’m still digging it. Really into the instrumental, honestly. Holy head voice at 1:24. If it isn’t the same person as before, color me impressed. (Edit: It’s Onew. Huh.) The “let’s crack the code!” beginning of the chorus reminds me one of “Hitchhiking.” Actually, I bet someone with better audio-editing skills than me could make a really compelling mashup of “Hitchhiking” and this song.

I Really Want You - I like the opening instrumental a lot. Less sold on this spoken vocals. This has a kind of old school vibe. I’m into the little guitar backing riff during the verses. Very peppy, you know. It’s a nice enough song, but I doubt it’s one I’m going to come back to. Around 2:50, it just hit me that this “I really wantcha, ooh, babe” bit really reminds of “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’” by Michael Jackson.

Kiss Kiss - I think I’m going to this like based off the bassline and opening harmony, but we’ll see. Oh, it’s smoother than I was expecting. Loving the harmonies, yes. Laugh at 1:38 mark, yes. (Edit: Minho, maybe? If it is, I think this is the first time I’ve specifically reacted to something from him haha.) The chorus makes me wanna dance. I may never get over how much I like these harmonies, actually, wow.

Body Rhythm - Okay, I think this song has been like a fancam meme on twitter, or something? Big fan of this beat. It’s like a slow samba. Oh man, whoever sings “Won’t you follow my body rhythm? Come on, follow my body rhythm,” at 0:47... good sir, your voice and delivery is immaculate. (Edit: Wait, it’s Taemin? And after I claimed that I thought I could recognize his voice now lmao. Damn, he sounds so good. I misread the color-coded lyrics video, and it’s actually Key singing this part. Thank you @subtextread for the correction, and thank you, Key, for your amazing voice.) This song REALLY makes me want to dance. Specifically, it makes me want to choreograph. Singer of the chorus at 1:45, I don’t think it’s the same person as before, and I don’t like it quite as much, but it’s still very nice. (Edit: It’s Onew, which is funny, because I’ve tended to like his voice a lot.) A strong contender for favorite song on the album.

Attention - Why does the intro make me think of “0 Mile” by NCT 127? Like, not to be a NCT fanboy on main (lol), but the cadence of it is very similar, despite the songs have very different vibes. Mr. Head Voice is back at 0:42. (Edit: So actually it’s Taemin, which means it’s *checks notes* a different Mr. Head Voice than the other two I’ve already mentioned, so. Welp.) Actually, this song also reminds me of one of the songs off NCT 127′s Neo Zone, but fuck, which one? Oh my god, I’m going to have to relisten to a slew off Neo Zone that I don’t otherwise listen to in order to figure this out, because otherwise, it will bother me forever. (Edit: I was thinking of “FOOL,” which is... not off Neo Zone. Oops.) Wow, sorry that so much of my reaction to this song was just me thinking about NCT 127 songs.

Kind - Interesting, unexpected vibe. Okay wait, does SHINee really end every album with a ballad-y song? Brb, checking my other SHINee liveblogs. *Magic 8 ball voice* All signs point to yes. This song is fine, but not likely one I’ll come back to. The harmonies are nice, classic SHINee. Gah, what is the name of this vocal effect used at 3:05 (and also at the very beginning)? I’ve heard it used in other songs, but what is it??

[moodyinapinkbow]

What photo editing software do you use? I love your edits. :)

I’ve honestly tried (and frequently to occasionally use) so many different aps that I have a hard time keeping track. The gold standard is Photoshop–that’s a must have. Even if I’m going to run photos through a filter somewhere I’ll still clean them up on Photoshop first so that they all have similar base coloring/focus. I also use a couple of my own(ish) filters (mostly close imitations of Instagram filters that I’ve fiddled with a tiny bit) and I use Photoshop for that sort of thing as well. (I’m honestly a little surprised no one has called me out for this yet–I use a warmed up version of Instagram’s Aden and and I also use a tinkered with filter very similar to Instagram’s Gingham minus some blur effect for white and grey photos and I use them both A LOT). Outside of that, I’ve probably had almost every single free photo editing software app available for Apple on my phone at one point or another and at least half the ones you have to pay for. Some of them are trash, but some are GEMS. 

I recommend:

1967 - (Free filters are great. At 99 cents, the extra filters are worth paying for as well). 

Huji Cam - (The best disposable camera film mimicker imo).

 A Color Story - (Lots of options. Intuitive, non shitty set-up. The free filters are excellent and the filter packs you have to pay for are usually done as collaborations with artists, so they’re very tasteful and always gorgeous. A little pricier at $2.99 per filter pack, but the quality is legit. Just pick and choose when you can afford to spend a few dollars).

A Design Kit - (A Color Story’s word-friendly buddy. If you don’t pay for your Photoshop this App is a great solution for text/font needs). 

Pixlr - (HEAR ME OUT ON THIS. There are two or three nice filters on here. BUT I DO NOT recommend doing any deep editing with this app. Prep on Photoshop and switch over for a filter if you’re feeling it, but err on the side of caution otherwise. Aspects of this App are just fine and others are a hot (limited) mess).

Color Splash - (If you’re going to do black & white with a single color pop and you’re not going to do it on Photoshop, it’s worth the 99 cents to do it with this). 

From my personal experience, I do NOT recommend: 

Be funky

Filterloop

Collageable

Aviary

LINE Camera

Pip Camera

Photofox

But, hey! Don’t let my opinion keep you from trying things out. Different strokes for different folks!  ALSO, while we’re chatting, what apps are you guys using? Have I missed something good?