#also that cringey thing I wrote when I was super young

[sorrygotthesesacks]

I had this idea pop into my head...for reasons I can't remember...and all I remember is thinking "hmm, that, but with Silbek."

And now I can't remember the idea or what made the idea pop into my head and I am sad.

(as if I needed another idea)

But also: fake dating

(which is not the idea that popped into my head but I am a sucker for many of the tropes. Of course, that trope doesn't work as well with Silbek since they're kinda already dating but just don't know it.)

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?

I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.

TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface

Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.

And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie

What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?

Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”

So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?

The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it

ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN

Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ

The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel

Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-

Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.

Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died

I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?

Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional

Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?

“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?

Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)

20 minutes in and I wanted to give up

So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??

The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?

AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR

“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you

So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar

I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes

“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED

“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT

The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired

“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY

STOP THE FACES IM-

^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^

So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-

It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all

Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?

For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again

Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?

Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?

So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one

WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME

The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain

Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY

I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought

“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do

Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!

“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?

“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf

Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park

“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t

So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦‍♀️

“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT

EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT

“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT

The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film

This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.

Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)

This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot

WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-

I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...

I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.

LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there

The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not

I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.

Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess

So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up

YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH

The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-

I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious

“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT

“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU

“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-

ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU

There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful

Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.

Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?

And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???

She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there

So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???

Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!

She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender

The less said about the musical number here the better

Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!

ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING

Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number

The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.

Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨

I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything

“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?

There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES

Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???

Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number

Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.

Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.

The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?

Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”

Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES

“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY

“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT

Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever

This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*

Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end

I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level

She got a service dog puppy which... okay?

Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!

I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing

AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻

Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.

We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.

As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.

[botwstoriesandsuch]

[Image ID: A screenshot of an anon asking saying “I just wanna say that your tags whenever you rb art and fics are so cute 🥺 you reblogged something of mine the other day and the tags were just so nice and innocent??? It’s like watching a little kid at an aquarium 😝so as an artist I thank you, hope you don’t take it as cringy” End ID]

- - - - - 

Cringey?? nonononono I may be a young kid watching the pretty fish swim aimlessly in the aquarium but I will

recklessly enjoy other people’s content don’t test me

I try to keep it in the tags cause I don’t wanna take away from the op’s original work, plus it makes it easier for other people to rb it from me, but I will amp up the love and appreciation when the situation calls for it. You could straight up come into my inbox or messages and just ask me to give you a reblog and I will do it, I do not care I love you, content creators.

Cringe Culture is dead it’s time to gush plus if I do this often enough people might do it more for me so it’s a win win hehe

Legit, I got a super sweet comment on one of my fics quoting something I wrote and it made me so happy so I was like “huh, guess I’ll do that more often then” and now I’m doing that, that’s how impressionable I am asdfghjk

Also hello?? specifically *my* tags helped you out?? I am a nobody, CLEARLY not enough people are doing this smh, allow me to teach the masses for a sec here

How To Make A Content Creator Happy: the world’s simplest guide to spreading serotonin through a keyboard

Step fucking one) You reblog it. I mean, that’s a given. You’ve all seen those “reblogs help creators out and likes do nothing” posts so I won’t rant too much. Likes are good, but reblogs are like handing someone a stack of a hundred dollars and all it takes is one click! 

(PRO TIP: Hold down the button and swipe for mobile, and hold the left alt button and click once for computer [though it will only rb to your main blog. if you want it for a side-blog then you’re stuck with two clicks but HEY two clicks to help out a creator you like is nothing!])

You share it! Just share stuff. Share the ao3 like, please do it. Don’t repost, don’t just mention it, give the links especially when you’re just in conversation or talking about it around plz I swear it does wonders

Ok moving on to the super simple stuff for commenting and putting stuff in the tags because I guarantee that the op will read them

write A N Y T H I N G and I literally mean anything just fucking:

!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sdjflksdjfkjh

?!?!?!?!!?

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghghhhhhhhhh

:OOOOOOOOO

prettyyy

<33333333333333333

just fucking go ham, go nuts, it doesn’t need to be coherent it just needs to EXIST the very existence of someone enjoying someone’s content gives so much serotonin so stop being silent cowards and give us a smiley face from time to time

uh what else what else....hmm [golden rule is treat others the way you want to be treated, so if you’re a creator yourself, just give whatever you would want seen in the comments of your stuff! I mean that’s how I came up with all this...]

Point out the details! I mentioned earlier about quoting stuff from fics (that stuff is just 👌👌👌 so delicious) but I’m pretty sure (I’m not an artist myself don’t quote me) that the exact same effect is present when you talk about details in art or something. So talk about that pretty snowflake in the background! Or that piece of dialogue that made you laugh. Just a simple nod to the details is a big difference between saying “I like this” versus “I like this thing that you took the time to make the effort you put into the details did not go unnoticed”

just ALL the feedback please and thank you

this might vary from person to person, though personally I love when people are like “The way you write imagery is so good please do more!!” so just give a little nod to someone like “The way you draw this character is amazing please do more” or something like that

I wouldn’t go as far as to give criticism (although personally I’m the type of person that loves the occasionally critique for future reference, cause it means that you care as much as I do about the quality of my work) 

But along the same lines as the details thing, a nice nod to a creator about what they’re doing right is sooooo good! makes the butterflies flutter

                ~~~~~~Did that post give you emotions?~~~~~~

   G   O   O   D

 ~~FUCKING TELL US~~

THE ACT OF SOMEONE WRITING A SET OF LETTERS, OR SOMEONE SKETCHING A BLOB MADE ANOTHER DISTANT HUMAN BEING DEVELOP CHEMICALS IN THEIR BRAIN?? SURE WOULD LOVE TO KNOW THAT BECAUSE WOW THAT’S AMAZING!?!??

just go “I’m so happy” or “I’m so sad” just “TT__TT” just fucking “:OO” or just “I hate this” [HUMOURISTICALLY] and “I can’t believe you’ve done” just give it yes tell us the emotion that you have felt we love it

I don’t think enough people understand how amazing that is???? You were once in a normal, neutral state, and then a piece of content that I created just made you smile or laugh or cry like WHAT that’s amazing omg

Ok so that’s pretty much the simple stuff right, that’s your elementary classwork right there

Just give something, literally anything and just go “I love this so much!!!!!” bam done, you just murdered the op with your love, great job

So yeah, that’s that. Pretty simple stuff, no?

...but you wanna graduate to master class?

You wanna fucking go ape shit

you wanna just

g o    t o    town?

I said this was gonna be a simple guide so don’t worry, I’m not gonna tell you that you have to write a full length essay on every post that you come across

[BUT IF YOU WANT TO DON’T LET ME STOP YOU THAT WOULD ACTUALLY BE AMAZING?? HELL WRITING OUT A PARAGRAPH OF A COMMENT IS ALREADY JUST *CHEFS KISS* MASTERCLASS OF MURDERING THE OP WITH LOVE JUST ANALYZING THE SHIT OUT OF THE COLORS AND SHADING AND FRAMING OR JUST POINTING OUT THE THEMES AND SUBTEXT AND CHARACTERIZATION --part of the reason I love betaing stuff so much because I can analyze shit and shower it with premature love while also helping fics to be even better than they were originally ugh so cleansing for my literature heart-- SO YEAH GIVE CREATORS A PARAGRAPH, DARE I DREAM OF PARAGRAPHS, BECAUSE WOW YES PLEASE YES]

...ahem anyway

the way to graduate from good to great as a receiver of content is

to do all this

any of this

any of this simple stupid amazing shit

and just

put it in an ask or message

that’s literally it

Let me tell you why that’s so amazing, it pumps up the already amazing dopamine dosage of these actions alone, and multiplies it by a hundred, let me tell you why

Let’s say you read a drabble. You loved it, you reblogged it, you gave it hearts and emojis and ranted for a few tags about how it made you drop your muffin on the ground. Fantastic work, you just made the op pass out.

Then you go about your day and that’s the end of that.

BUT

if you do all that

and then put it in an ASK

dare you even a direct message?? (probably not most of us on here are cowards I get that)

but an ASK, anon or otherwise?

The message you just sent to the op was “I interacted with the post you made, and I loved it so much that I went the extra mile of going to your blog to make extra extra sure you understand how much I liked your thing”

There’s a wordless wall with every post! You like and reblog the thing and move on with your day. 

But the fact that YOU sent a HEART a SINGLE sentence about how you liked a thing? the fact that you BREACHED that wall and just fucking keyboard smashed in the inbox? the fact that you did that is the most amazing thing in the world

you just ambush the op with good vibes. we were expecting the bare minimum in the comments and tags, but the fact you when out of your way to make it a message or ask???? superb, outstanding, the sheer SHOCK of it will shift tectonic plates

you’re my fucking hero if you do this. you’re a godsend. I would kill for you,👏people👏would👏kill👏for👏you.

AT LEAST THEY WOULD KILL FOR YOU IF THIS ACTION DIDN’T ALREADY MURDER THEM

BE A MURDERER, NAY, A SERIAL KILLER. MURDER CONTENT CREATORS WITH LOVE

BE RECKLESSLY KIND AND LOVING YOU PIECE OF SHIT, ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO BE CRINGY TO STARVING AND DYING WRITERS AND ARTISTS WE WILL TAKE IT ALL GOD DAMMIT

YOU ARE A CHILD STARING UP AT AN AQUARIUM IN WONDER.

MAKE YOUR HAPPINESS STIR THE TIDES, LET YOUR PRESCENCE BE KNOWN PAST THE REFLECTION OF THE GLASS.

THE FISH ARE LOOKING FOR YOUR SMILE. 

[dingoes8myrp]

An Examination of Joss Whedon

On February 11th, Charisma Carpenter made a post on her Instagram account detailing mistreatment she experienced on the sets of Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Carpenter worked on both shows from 1996 to 2004 and attributes this mistreatment to show creator Joss Whedon.

On the same day, I made a post on my Tumblr and my WordPress accounts regarding my stance on this topic. I felt it was important for me to post something quickly due to the large number of Buffyverse followers and mutuals on my Tumblr.

I was overwhelmed by the likes, reblogs, and comments this post received in less than twenty-four hours. I’m so glad so many people support Charisma Carpenter and others who are speaking out about their experiences.

Workplace mistreatment is insidious, and too often the systems in place to mediate these situations are designed to protect the employer rather than the person experiencing mistreatment. This happens everywhere in every industry. When people in the public eye draw attention to these issues it helps bring awareness to everyone and encourages societal change.

In today’s climate, social media moves faster than legal or internal HR systems. This means, more often than not, accusations spread, opinions form, and action is taken long before any investigation can occur. Because of this, it’s important for people to seek out the facts themselves in order to stay informed or make decisions about who in fandom they choose to support or not.

I’m going to go through various tid-bits I’ve seen over the past twenty-five years regarding Joss Whedon’s behavior, which prompted my quick response to Charisma Carpenter’s post. I feel it’s important to share this with those who may be new to the fandom, or those who doubt Charisma Carpenter’s claims and those of others.

The Bronze

Before there was Twitter, there was The Bronze.

The Bronze was the official online gathering place of Buffyverse fans. Joss Whedon and others involved with the shows occasionally popped in and posted, interacting with the fans. There was speculation about the trajectory of the show, discussion about lore, fan theories, and behind the scenes rumors.

I didn’t learn about these forums until I was in high school (from 2002 to 2006) and I never posted. I just read up on the fun factoids I could find. I wasn’t a heavy Internet user back then. We had one computer in my house and it was shared with my parents. I was only allowed on for so much time per day, yada yada.

I think Buffy the Vampire Slayer was one of the first shows – if not the first – to utilize this kind of creator/fan interaction. It wasn’t a regular thing back then.

The vibe of these forums was very laidback. When someone directly involved with Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel posted (known as a V.I.P.) it was with a very casual, unmoderated tone. There was no screenshotting every word to be saved for later. Someone from the media couldn’t grab a comment made and spread it across the Internet in real time. There were mailing lists – collections of email addresses for people who wanted updates on show spoilers or particular non-show activities of various actors. Fan letters were still a thing – actual snail mail letters you could send to actors and writers of the shows. Things moved slowly, and there wasn’t as much transparency as there is on the Internet today with sites like Instagram and Twitter.

In a series of posts made on November 6th, 2001, Joss Whedon reacted to the airing of the musical episode, “Once More with Feeling.” He called it “the biggest undertaking of my life,” but expressed his appreciation toward the UPN network, the cast, and crew – particularly Anthony Head, Amber Benson, and James Marsters. He calls Anthony Head “the golden throat” and writes of James Marsters, “And James, who always tells me to do everything I dream of, then brings that intense voice and those cheekbones along for the ride.”

All he writes about Amber Benson is, “Amber… just, you know… Amber….”

Alarmingly absent from his praise is star Sarah Michelle Gellar, who “went back and forth” over whether or not to sing in the episode. “I’m not a singer,” she told EW. She didn’t feel prepared enough and “didn’t feel confident.” As someone who broke out of her comfort zone and pulled off a wonderful leading performance, Gellar was certainly deserving of some acknowledgment.

Seemingly realizing he neglected to mention Marti Noxon, Whedon tacked on, “Do you know anyone that hot who can run a show? Do you? I don’t think so. What a voice.” At the time, alongside comments about James Marsters’ cheekbones and being “a little gay” for Anthony Head, this seemed to be an attempt at an edgy complement (though a little cringey). Marti Noxon was a new showrunner for Buffy, taking over for Joss. Referring to her as hot rather than praising her work is a little demeaning, in my opinion, particularly when it was up to him to make sure she was respected and taken seriously in filling his shoes.

On May 22nd, 2002, Whedon posted about “the gay thing” – probably not for the first time. Regarding some fan reactions to the death of Tara Maclay, Joss wrote, “I knew some people would be angry with me for destroying the only gay couple on the show, but the idea that I COULDN’T kill Tara because she was gay is as offensive to me as the idea that I DID kill her because she was gay. Willow’s story was not about being gay. It was about weakness, addiction, loss… the way life hits you in the gut right when you think you’re back on your feet.”

Keep in mind, at the time, Willow was one of the first gay main characters – if not THE first – on a major primetime show in the sci-fi/fantasy genre. Having a gay couple on a major show like this was not a regular thing, which made the shocking death of Tara and the dark turn of Willow particularly hard-hitting. While Whedon isn’t saying anything particularly inflammatory here, it does show a sort of crass attitude toward the removal of this representation from the show, which had become so important to so many fans – and still is now.

There’s not a lot of meaty information to be found that I could dig up, but I wanted to give people an idea of this landscape back in the day. I picked out those particular Joss Whedon posts because they show a very casual disregard for the women involved in the shows – an insidious and subtle thing, but it’s there.

Fighting with Buffy

Jeff Pruitt was a stunt coordinator on Buffy the Vampire Slayer from 1997 to 2000. He also happened to be romantically involved with Sarah Michelle Gellar’s stunt double, Sophia Crawford. Both would exit the show by its fifth season. According to Pruitt, it was not an amicable exit.

Pruitt claims he and Crawford were treated badly on the set, that Crawford was “one never ending injury” and she had “reached the end of her rope.” He said that they were threatened and blackballed when they made attempts to leave before the 100th episode. They got an opportunity to work on Dark Angel, but the people at Dark Angel supposedly received a phone call from “someone high up at their studio” and were told not to hire Pruitt and Crawford. He suspects this was to keep Sophia Crawford from leaving Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Their firing was unceremonious, according to Pruitt. “Sophia was told point blank that she was being fired because she knew too much about things,” he claimed. He said Joss Whedon and Jane Espenson threatened Crawford, saying if she spoke about what happened on set she’d “never work in this town again.”

Jeff Pruitt spoke about “sneaky politics” behind the scenes, saying “there was something weird going on” in the months leading up to his and Crawford’s exit. Pruitt claims Sarah Michelle Gellar was a “spoiled starlett” and that she was “out to get” him and Crawford. He attributes statements he made in private emails that were later read by Joss Whedon to his firing.

It’s worth noting that many people have stated that Sarah Michelle Gellar is undeserving of a “diva” label. When asked in 2004 what it was like working with Sarah Michelle Gellar, Julie Benz said, “She’s extremely talented and generous. Her reputation is just completely untrue. Unfortunately in Hollywood if you’re young and female and you have an opinion you get labeled a diva or something…else. Sarah’s an amazing talent, but she got labeled.”

In a 2013 interview on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live, Alyson Hannigan answered a series of rapid-fire questions about Buffy the Vampire Slayer. When asked who was the most “annoyed” by the end of the show, she said, “Sarah,” referring to Sarah Michelle Gellar. When the audience booed, Hannigan clarified, “Well, she had a big career going, and it was a lot of work.” When asked when Gellar started to “hate” the show, Hannigan quickly said season three. In a later interview for Huffpost Live, Hannigan clarified her comments further. “[Sarah Michelle Gellar] worked her butt off,” she stated. “She worked eighteen-hour days for years.” Hannigan said she wouldn’t have classified Gellar as “annoyed,” saying, “she was super professional.”

Honestly, I’m Team Sarah on this one. I couldn’t find corroborating sources for Jeff Pruitt’s claims of her “diva” behavior, but I found several sources stating otherwise. Gellar did confirm during a cast reunion that she may have oversold her stunt experience, which ultimately would have meant more work for her stunt double and the stunt coordinator. It seems to me like this set everything on a bad foot with that team. But, the reasons Jeff Pruitt and Sophia Crawford gave for their exit had little-to-nothing to do with Gellar.

Vincent Kartheiser

Vincent Kartheiser played Connor on Angel, and he did a number of interviews talking about his experience on the show. I picked his interviews because I’ve always found him to be very candid and he doesn’t seem to shy away from uncomfortable answers to questions. A few of his answers provide a little insight into the mood on the set at times, and Charisma Carpenter’s attitude.

When Charisma Carpenter was pregnant on the show, she had a storyline that heavily involved Connor, so the two spent a lot of time working together on set. He was asked about her pregnancy and how it affected filming. In a 2003 interview for BBC Cult, Kartheiser said of Carpenter, “she was a great sport and would suck up the pain even though you could see that she was in it.”

In another interview for Angel Magazine from the same year, he said Carpenter had “an abundance of energy for a working, pregnant lady who, right in the heart of her pregnancy, they put her in so much.”

It’s worth noting Vincent Kartheiser had his own issues with the show. “What really made me interested in Angel was the idea that as a show, it changed so much and all the characters could change so much,” he told Angel Magazine. “It wasn’t that clichéd kind of ‘show up, do your thing, go home’ all the time.” Unfortunately, the potential that interested him never came to fruition for his character. “As the season went on, we never really got to deal with the relationship problems between me and David,” Kartheiser said, referring to David Boreanaz as Angel. “I never really got the opportunity to bond with any other characters.” He expressed a feeling that there was nowhere for his character to go and that Connor’s motivations seemed to change from week to week. “There were parts of the season I didn’t have the opportunity to stretch,” he explained, “that it felt like I was doing the same scene over and over.”

Vincent Kartheiser did a later interview with Giantmag.com where he reiterated some of these frustrations. For him, the character of Connor started to get stale early on. “Every week I’d show up and have a scene with Cordelia,” he said, “then Angel would show up and I’d have some sort of conflict with him. There’d be a couple of fight scenes where I’d fight with them even though I didn’t want to and then I would sulk and leave. That to me was every episode.” He felt the writers had written Connor “into a corner” and that fans responded poorly to him.

When comparing his experience on Angel to his experience playing Pete Campbell on Mad Men, Kartheiser expressed a lackluster feeling on the set of Angel. “There was a real sense on Angel that people were just doing a job,” Kartheiser said of the set. “The grips, the DP, even the directors would kind of just show up, do their job and go home.” This atmosphere is a direct contrast to what had attracted Vincent Kartheiser to the show in the first place. “On Mad Men we also have Matthew Weiner on set all the time whereas Joss [Whedon] was hardly ever on Angel,” Kartheiser explained. “I think Joss was doing Firefly at that point and was in love with his next project. I had a friend who filmed a few episodes in the first season of Angel and said everyone was invested and there was crazy energy, so maybe I just came into it late.”

Kartheiser also delved deeper into his frustrations over the direction (or lack thereof) of his character. “I let them know right off the bat that some of the choices they were making [about Conner] were wrong,” he said. “I showed up to play that character and I had a lot of ideas. And they didn’t like any of those ideas.” As a result, Kartheiser said he got “jaded” and “angry” at the show. “I felt like it wasn’t a collaboration, that the people I was working with didn’t care to take risks.”

In hindsight, he went on to say, “I was never a fan of Buffy, I’ll say it straight out. I was never a fan of Angel. I always found it hard to say Joss’ words.”

From all these comments, both from the beginning of Vincent Kartheiser’s journey as Connor, and from a few years after the show ended, it seems like he was excited for the opportunity, but ultimately disappointed with the overall experience. He also revealed how uncomfortable Charisma Carpenter had to be during filming while she was pregnant, but noted her energy and attitude were never a problem.

Farewell Cordelia

Prior to Charisma Carpenter’s official exit from Angel, her character arc had taken a very strange turn and Cordelia had been ominously left in a coma. Concern grew when Charisma Carpenter was not included in the cast of season 5. In a 2003 interview with TV Guide Online, Joss Whedon stated, “The Angel/Cordelia [love story] had gone pretty much as far as we wanted to take it” and that it wasn’t popular with the fans. “It just seemed like a good time for certain people to move on,” he continued. “Not completely, obviously. I’m hoping that we’ll get Charisma to do some episodes as Cordelia sometime during the year.”

TV Guide asked, “Isn’t that a disservice to fans who invested all those years in the character and her redemption? It seems an odd thing to do to the show’s leading lady.” Whedon responded, “That’s a fluctuating concept, the leading lady thing. And it is a little odd. Some choices are ultimately kind of controversial about who stays and who goes and who we focus on. But obviously, we had to have her out of a bunch of episodes toward the end of the year because she was having a baby… so what we had [leading] up to it wasn’t a dynamic I wanted to play out that much.” When asked if things were left on good terms with Charisma Carpenter, Joss Whedon stated he wouldn’t discuss that in an interview.

From Charisma Carpenter’s perspective, she was uncomfortable with Cordelia’s storyline prior to her coma and her death. “It was creepy,” she said of Cordelia’s relationship with Connor. “Connor was Angel’s son and half my age.” Carpenter stated it was important for her to return to wrap up the character’s storyline. “We didn’t want to just leave Cordelia in a coma,” she stated. “Whatever happens after this, I’m open. But it’s just best this story be [resolved] now. Otherwise, it’s a disservice to the fans of our show.” When pressed regarding whether or not she’d return to the show, Carpenter replied, “I don’t think it’ll be necessary. You never say never. However, at this point in time, I don’t see a future for her.” She continued with, “I feel like Joss feels – the Cordelia stories have been told. There were no other directions to go with her.”

Carpenter’s final appearance as Cordelia was an emotional experience. “We’ve been crying for the last two days,” she said in a behind-the-scenes interview. “I’m so physically drained.” She wasn’t the only one affected, either. “The director was crying, the crew was crying, we were crying,” she said. She called it a sad goodbye personally, professionally, and story-wise.

Working with Joss Whedon

Over the years, Joss Whedon gained a reputation for being unconventional to work with. Many actors from the Buffyverse have said they were unhappy with their characters’ creative paths. Sarah Michelle Gellar felt season six “betrayed” who Buffy was, saying she had to be “talked off a ledge” a number of times during filming.

Nicholas Brendon felt the character of Xander was “underrated,” particularly during season seven. “Joss did have a talk with Sarah and I because he was kind of contemplating the idea of Xander and Buffy ending up together at the end of season seven,” Brendon told AV Club. “We were both for it, but then that never came to fruition and I lost my eye.”

On an episode of Michael Rosenbaum’s Inside of You podcast, James Marsters said he was “terrified” of Joss Whedon. “I wasn’t designed to be a romantic character,” he explained. “The audience reacted that way to it. And I remember [Joss Whedon] backed me up against a wall one day, and he was just like, ‘I don’t care how popular you are, kid. You’re dead! You hear me? You’re dead! Dead!” Rosenbaum asked, “Was he kidding around?” and Marsters replied, “No. Hell, no.” Marsters also said he had “open wounds” on his scalp from over-using bleach on his roots every eight days to keep the roots from growing out.

Multiple actors from Angel have talked about Whedon’s habit of making actors squirm. David Boreanaz spoke about how he learned about the Angel spinoff during a twentieth anniversary cast reunion. “I got a phone call that Joss wanted to talk to me,” Boreanaz recalled. “The only thing he said was, ‘I want you to come into my office tomorrow,’ and I’m like, ‘I’m fired.’” He described having a night of “angst” and spent the following day working on some flashback scenes. When he finally met with Whedon at lunch it took some time for Whedon to tell him his character was getting a spin-off. Alexis Denisof expressed a similar knee-jerk feeling of “uh-oh,” but had an idea the spin-off was filming. However, Amy Acker had a similar story to what Boreanaz experienced when she was told about her character Fred’s transformation into Illyria. “It seems to be an echo of, like, ‘Hey, can you meet me for coffee tomorrow?’ and I’m like, ‘Ohh, they’re firing me!’ And we sat down to coffee and he said, ‘I just wanted you to know I’m killing Fred.’ And he waited, like, really a long time.” Charisma Carpenter chimed in, “He likes to do that!” Acker was then informed she would still be on the show as Illyria.

Charisma Carpenter and Marti Noxon have shared their own stories about Joss’s “You’re fired, just kidding” stories. Seth Green quipped “He did that to me too, but it took.”

Whedon’s View of Women

While Joss Whedon considers his writing to be feminist, his portrayal of women as well as other statements he’s made contradict this. In 2013, he gave a speech for Equality Now about his dislike of the word “feminist.” While this speech earned him some acclaim, it also earned him some backlash from the feminist community. This was mainly because he claimed it’s natural for people to be equal, and to add “-ist” to the end of the word “feminist” implies that people’s natural state is to be unequal. This stance was seen as disrespectful to Feminism as a movement, for some.

Joss Whedon received wide criticism for his portrayal of women in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. One critic, Scott Mendelson, talked about Whedon’s portrayal of Scarlet Witch and Black Widow in Avengers: Age of Ultron. “Scarlet Witch eventually has to be coaxed into bravery by one of the male heroes,” Mendelson writes of Elizabeth’s Olson’s character. Mendelson was even less thrilled with Scarlet Johansson’s Natasha Romanoff. “Maybe I shouldn’t be annoyed that the only major female character’s primary arc is a theoretically unrequited pining for a nice guy with major anger issues,” he writes, “or that said character briefly gets captured by the villain in the second act and tossed in a cage for no reason other than to be rescued by her male compatriots.” Backlash over this film caused Whedon to quit Twitter. In an article for Gizmodo, writers Meredith Woerner and Katharine Trendacosta point out that Joss Whedon teased a “killer” backstory for Natasha Romanoff. “Instead of an assassin constantly struggling with finding moral lines she didn’t know existed, we got a woman who feels incomplete because she cannot have babies,” Woerner and Trendacosta concluded.

In 2017, Whedon’s ex-wife Kai Cole wrote a blog for The Wrap stating, “he used his relationship with me as a shield, both during and after our marriage, so no one would question his relationships with other women or scrutinize his writing as anything other than feminist.”

Cole alleges Whedon wrote her a letter in which he said, “When I was running ‘Buffy,’ I was surrounded by beautiful, needy, aggressive young women… As a guilty man I knew the only way to hide was to act as though I were righteous… In many ways I was the HEIGHT of normal, in this culture. We’re taught to be providers and companions and at the same time, to conquer and acquire — specifically sexually — and I was pulling off both!” At the end of her essay, Cole wrote, “I want the people who worship him to know he is human, and the organizations giving him awards for his feminist work, to think twice in the future about honoring a man who does not practice what he preaches.”

In response to Kai Cole’s letter, Laura M. Browning wrote in an AV Club article, “I was sad, but not shocked—maybe a little embarrassed I hadn’t looked more closely at some very clear problems in his work… His work has plenty of male gaze and women in refrigerators and some narratively pointless rape scenes—it’s all right there, in hundreds of hours of television and film—but boy, it sure is a lot more comfortable to listen to a guy tell you he’s a feminist than listen to a lot of women telling you he’s not.”

Whedon’s veneer of feminism has been cracking for several years.

Recent Allegations

Actor Ray Fisher claimed Joss Whedon behaved inappropriately on the set of Justice League, tweeting, “Joss Wheadon’s on-set treatment of the cast and crew of Justice League was gross, abusive, unprofessional, and completely unacceptable.” Fisher also accused Geoff Johns and Jon Berg of enabling Whedon’s behavior. An investigation was done by Warner Brothers and co-stars Jason Mamoa and Kiersey Clemons publicly supported Fisher. Ultimately, the investigation concluded and “remedial action” was taken. The action taken has not been specified.

Shortly after, Joss Whedon exited the HBO series The Nevers, which Fisher attributes to his own claims.

Team Charisma

Those who have shown support to Charisma Carpenter include: Sarah Michelle Gellar Ray Fisher J. August Richards Michelle Trachtenberg Amber Benson Eliza Dushku Jose Molina Marti Noxon Emma Caulfield James Marsters Anthony Head Clare Kramer James C. Leary Sophia Crawford David Boreanaz Amy Acker Julie Benz Danny Strong Adam Busch Tom Lenk Nicholas Brendon Jeff Mariotte

Others who have written about Joss Whedon or come out to support those coming forward:

Courtney Enlow Nell Scovell Glen Mazzara

My Conclusion

As I stated in my previous post on this topic, I stand with Team Charisma. It is not okay for a person in a position of power over others in the workplace to misuse that power in an inappropriate or abusive manner. No matter how talented that person may be and how beloved the work may be.

[ashxketchum]

TYHIL MAGIC AU! TYHIL MAGIC AU!!

Nooo it’s so bad, I wrote it halfway in like 2014 and I cringe every time I read it now which is why I can never finish it 😭

It was super difficult to find a snippet that was not cringey, but here it is: 

Never in ten years had any villager or outsider uttered those words. 

Please open the door. 

It was like music to her ears. She felt obliged to get up and make her way to the door, setting aside books to make a clear path. But when she reached the door and adjusted the settings of her magical telescope to look at this kind person, she was highly disappointed by what she saw. A tall, young (probably a few years older than her) male stood at her doorstep. He was scratching his head as he frowned at the note he held in his hand. The note that she had slipped through from under the door a few minutes ago. She watched as he continued frowning and scratching his head for a while and the brunette couldn't help but scowl. Can he not read? At this particular moment, she could not bring herself to be patient. This was her first civil interaction with a fellow human being in a decade. And while the beginning of this had been through paper, it might just lead to an in person interaction as well. But that would only happen if he is able to convince her to open the door, she reminded herself, and she was starting to wonder if he lacked the skills to do so.

He started to move and her eyes was fixed on him again as he pulled out a charcoal pencil from thin air and proceeded to scribble onto the small sheet of paper. The young witch managed to keep her excitement in check and easily suppressed a squeal. As she waited for him to finish writing, she couldn't help but observe his features a little more carefully. He was wearing a white cotton shirt with some of the buttons undone and the sleeves rolled back. On top of the shirt he wore a red vest which had the emblem of the Kingdom etched with black thread onto its backside. He wore brown khaki pants with black knee high combat boots. And to top it off, he wore a red bandana on his head. His skin was tanned and his arms were littered with battle scars. To her, he looked more like a bandit than a soldier in the King's service.

"How unpleasant." She muttered quietly.

He bent down to push the paper through the small gap at the bottom of the door and then he suddenly looked up, his eyes fixed at the door. His deep brown eyes were looking directly at her. She immediately backed away from the magical device, staggering a little as she did so. He couldn't possibly have seen through her barrier. She could easily sense his magical presence and it was nowhere near her level. And yet it felt like he was looking look right through the door and into her eyes. With trembling hands she picked up the paper and unfolded it slowly. Her eyes moved across the paper and as they neared the end of the note, all colour drained from her face.

Separated from the real world for ten years, you really have no idea how magic works these days do you? I can see through all your measly tricks, kid. Open the door without kicking a fuss or I'll have my precious dragon swallow you whole and any chance of you ever seeing the real sky will go down my dragon's throat.

-

He knew that only ten minutes had passed since he had slipped in the small (not that threatening) note but it felt like hours had passed and he was getting sick of waiting outside. The sun was setting down, and the air had gotten surprisingly chilly. Even though he could easily create a warm and comfortable tent to spend the night through magic, he didn't want to. He couldn't stand being outside the dome any longer. After all, he had seen the witch. And something about her face had piqued his interest. He couldn't quite place it but there was something unusual about her. Not that locking herself up and staying away from the real world wasn't unusual in itself. Tyson let out an aggravated cry as another moment passed without the door opening. He scratched his head as he contemplated on whether he should take up on his threat. Even though he had threatened to kill her on paper, he had only used such a big flashy statement to lure her out. He thought that the thought of the library being destroyed would get her to come out but obviously it looked like it was going to take more than just an empty threat from him for her to show.

Tyson wasn't really keen on disturbing his sleeping friend as the consequences of him doing so hadn't been very pretty in the past. Moreover, despite its daunting appearance, the dragon didn't like to create a mess by stomping on things. He didn't even like eating people. Animals and birds were okay according to Dragoon, but humans left a bad taste in his mouth. Thinking about food made him realize that he had already eaten not only his food supplies but also the stack of apples reserved for the dragon during the ride this morning. If Dragoon found out he finished their supplies, that were supposed to last for two days in just a few hours, Tyson was good as dead. And with each passing moment, Tyson started worrying more about the dragon and food and less about wanting to enter the dome. He had now turned around, with his back to the wooden door and was thinking of going back to the village to get some food for himself and Dragoon and maybe a comfy bed to sleep in. The blue haired boy was so lost in thought that he didn't hear the faint click of the lock or the sound of the door opening slightly. It was her voice that finally caught his attention.

"Please come in."

The tone was soft and melodic and so quiet that Tyson wouldn't even have registered it if it hadn't come from behind. No matter how unnoticeable the whisper had been, it had come from the other side of the door. Tyson turned around immediately and grinned widely. The door had been opened just a little bit. A thin line of green light was streaming out onto where Tyson was standing, casting a slight illumination on his feet. It felt a little surreal to him. The way the door was only slightly ajar, the strange green light, the sweet whisper and how just a few seconds ago he had been all ready to leave. Despite the feeling, Tyson took a deep breath and with nervous hands pushed the door. He made sure not to open the door completely but just to create a gap wide enough for him to squeeze through. He entered as quickly as he could and then shut the door behind him. When he finally turned around, the scene in front of him blew him away. He stood there with his mouth hanging open in awe of the library. He had never seen so many books in one place before. The thought of the books containing immense knowledge about magic made his heart pound faster. If he could get his hands on all of the knowledge present in front of him, he would be invincible. No more trying to discipline the hopeless second division. He would straight away be promoted to the position of the King's right hand man.

Once the sheer extravagance of the library subsided, a small movement caught his eye. The wide grin spreading on Tyson face faltered a little as he noticed a small figure hiding behind a stack of books not far from where he was standing. He opened his mouth to say something but then shut it quickly as he had no idea what he should say. He pondered over this for a while and eventually decided that first he should apologise for all the shouting and banging and threatening. He cleared his throat confidently. There was a small squeak, a few books toppled down as the girl moved further away while still trying to stay hidden. Slightly annoyed by her actions, Tyson decided to chuck the apology and just get on with it. He started with examining the books closest to him and he was amazed by all the information stored in here. Though it seemed like the books weren't arranged in a categorical order. A book that talked about how you could curse an enemy to the depths of hell was kept below a book that taught magical sewing. As he moved along, Tyson created a stack of his own. He started assembling all the books he would need like battle strategy, demon taming, useful spells and curses etc. On an afterthought he also added the book on sewing to his pile since Dragoon often liked to shred his wardrobe and always buying new clothes was taking a toll on his already meagre salary.

He tried his best to make his movements discreet but the closer he got to the girl, the farther she would run. Most people would've given up after a while, but not Tyson. Nope, he was designed to never give up. He kept following her across the library, making sure to maintain a certain distance between them. He knew that eventually she would run into a wall and then when she'll be unable to dodge him, he would confront her. He couldn't understand why she was hiding, it's not like he was going to hurt her or anything he just wanted to see her face properly. When he had looked through the door, he had felt strange. There was something about her face that was bugging him immensely. He just wanted one long proper look without any barrier between them and these small glimpses from behind the books were driving him crazy. He needed to know.

After a few hours of clever manipulation from Tyson's side, the chase finally came to an end. He was skimming through a book about potty training for Dragons when he heard a quiet thud not far from where he was standing. Smirking, Tyson quickly manoeuvred through the stacks of books and blocked her only exit.

"Aha! Caught ya!"

[derpcakes]

So we watched (nay, Experienced) the BBC/Netflix Dracula series

Brought to us by everyone’s favourite team, Steve Moff and Mark Gatiss, promising to be an innovative and exciting new vision of the classic novel

Boy it was definitely something!!!

First I will say: obviously Moff is not my favourite TV writer and my fam and I did go into this with a bias. I’m happy to report, though, that it’s going to be one of these shows that haunts me forever, because if it had just been bad I could have said “bleh” and deleted it from my brain. But because parts of this were genuinely cool, interesting, and fun, and parts of it genuinely had potential, all the bits that were bad stand out as so much worse and the whole thing feels as cursed as a 500 year old undead count. 

Things that were enjoyable and well put-together:

Van Helsing has been gender-swapped into a vampire-hunting nun and her cat-and-mouse game with Dracula is rife with belligerent sexual tension. I was ready to hate this, and ready for like, Sherlock and Irene Adler 2.0, but their dynamic was actually pretty fun to watch! Their power balance is kept even throughout most of the show, and Helsing is never struck down because of ~womanly failings~ or infantilised. She’s consistently really clever and, even if there are some cringey one-liners, I found her and Draccy’s playful quest to murder each other one of the most fun parts of the show. It could’ve been better, but it was enjoyable! (I also like how Helsing isn’t Young and Hot, but is a capable older lady, and her actor and Draccy’s even seem about the same age. Amazing)

The second episode is a spooky murder mystery/horror mini-movie on a ship, with a cast full of interesting characters who all had different things going on and different relationship dynamics that were compelling to watch. There’s even an interracial gay couple! And they’re like, written pretty sympathetically and to be layered and flawed in ways that didn’t feel too stereotypical! And they don’t die first!! Wack! I understand the bar is on the ground, but it’s still worth a mention

Some fun with vampire lore: Draccy absorbs knowledge and traits from people he drinks blood from (which is how he learns languages. Get Duolingo, dude, stop eating people), leading to the intriguing suggestion that myths like “vampires will die in sunlight” and “vampires are afraid of holy symbols” have kinda become real to him even if they don’t literally work, because he’s swallowed so many people to whom these superstitions and beliefs were law. I’m sure this isn’t the first time this has been done, but groundbreaking or no it was kinda neat

Things that were not enjoyable and well put-together:

EVERYTHING ELSE

Episode 1: a weird speedrun of most of the original novel, feat. weaponised nuns and a weird fixation on whether or not Jonathan Harker and Draccy boned. They did not. Dracula pops out of the body of a wolf and he’s Whole Ass Naked. Him and Van Helsing have a power play where she stands just on the threshold of a convent and calls him a little bitch, knowing he can’t come and get her. A knife is licked. 

Episode 2: aforementioned cool ship horror story. Definitely the best ep. It really makes me think about hbomb’s critique that Moff is pretty good at doing standalone stories (and pilots), but when things are tied into a bigger narrative things get zonkers. 

Episode 3: Things Get Zonkers!!

Let me just. Okay. I have the most to say about this one because this is where things really got batshit. And yet, also really boring? How does that figure? Anyway:

Dracula emerges from under the sea and finds that 123 years have passed and he’s now the star of a Modern AU. Upon setting foot on British sand he is immediately accosted by what appears to be an anti-vampire task force. There’s a helicopter. It is later explained how they knew to pounce on him at this exact moment, but holy god it was wild to watch the entire British Secret Service descend on this one wet bastard in a suit

The editing shifts aggressively in the direction of Sherlock. Mark Gattis is there playing an amazingly annoying character. There’s a fuckign.... Underground Secret Society devoted to studying vampires and they put Drac in a Designated Glass Prison for Smug Geniuses (also as seen in Sherlock). Van Helsing is dead but her great-great-grand-niece is played by the same actress and. Okay. Van Helsing, vampire hunting nun, possesses her descendent and rises through the ether to roast Drac one last time, and he’s DELIGHTED TO SEE HER AGAIN. 

And she has cancer, right, so her blood is poisonous when Draccy tries to bite her, but in the end, right, the end of the episode, right, the final shots of the show, he comes to a place where he’s willing to die, and she’s already dying, and so he drinks her blood and they die together on a table while cinematic metaphor vision shows them having sex in the middle of the sun

There was a badly CGI-ed vampire baby. Jonathan Harker falls from a tower and a scene later they flash back to this event by reversing the footage of him falling down, meaning we just see him go VWOOP up through the air, bouncing off the wall on the way. Van Helsing says the words “come boy, suckle” when she’s goading Drac into drinking her blood. The show sits in a weird middle ground where the characters talk about sex a lot (”dID yOu HaVe sExUaL iNterCOURSE with COUNT DRACULA?”) and Drac is clearly meant to be super magnetic and sexy but the characterisation and cinematography is not horny at all. People have these sexy-type dreams of their lover of choice when Drac is drinking their blood but even those are very boring and weirdly chaste, except of course for the final one where, if I  can take the chance to remind you, Van Helsing and Dracula have symbolic Mind Palace sex inside the centre of the solar system

I can’t speak too much on its quality as an adaptation since I actually haven’t read the book, but splitting the story so that some characters (the Harkers, Van Helsing) existed in the time the story is set, and some (Lucy, Dr Seward) exist in The Modern AU felt very strange. Was there any reason to set the third episode in modern times, apart from the fact that I guess they wanted to do their Sherlock thing again? Or, perhaps, because they wanted to do their Jekyll thing again?? Oh my god, that’s what the editing reminds me of - the small clips of Jekyll I’ve seen. The zooming. The slow-mo. The emphasis on The Monster Man’s weird goddamn teeth

(Also, I don’t really feel qualified to dig too deep into it, but I will say there felt something a bit uncomfortable about Lucy being black in this version, while also being written to be very promiscuous and vain. idk. Also, since it happened in an ep of Sherlock as well, “weedy white Nice Boy rescues the Very Cool woman of colour he has a tragically unrequited crush on” is now an official Moffattis trope)

Count Moffatula is an experience. Its pacing is buck wild. The speeding through the original plot and the mish-mashing of elements in the Modern AU section feels like another expression of contempt for the source material on Moff’s part. Someone says “reality is overrated” in a show set in the 1890s. Draccy quotes a Beatles song. He also makes quippy allusions to having eaten various famous figures and basically winks at the camera every time. Granted, this wasn’t as obnoxious as I was maybe expecting, but there are still too many lines of dialogue where you think “oh, the writers high-fived each other after they wrote that one, huh”. The fact that Moff has such vitriol against fan fic writers is more and more grating every day because this is so, so clearly a zany-ass fanfic that he happens to be getting paid for. The costumes are nowhere near as nice as they could have been, and Dracula’s cape looks like his mum made it for him for the school play in which he is playing Dracula. 

This show is So Much. Watch it to share in this fever dream. Or don’t, and save approximately 5 hours of your life. God. 5 hours. Who was I before Count Maffatula. Who am I now. Why was his cape so bloody ugly. Why did they bone in the centre of the sun

[lovinnscarletknight]

Billionaire - Part Five

Extra long part, but enjoy! I’ll leave the masterlist here so you can find the other parts to Billionaire and all my other work! Until next week :) - Angela x

----------------------------------------------------

It had been a couple of weeks since Wanda and Katherine spoke in her room and the scars on Katherine’s arms had only grown. They were now midway up her forearms and looked more like nasty burns than small cuts. Katherine thought they were disgusting and even went as far to buy as many long-sleeved shirts as she has t shirts; she wasn’t risking anyone else finding out. It had been getting harder to hide since it was starting to get hotter and people were going to start questioning her outfit choices. Luckily, she was out of her boot and was walking properly again, but obviously things weren’t going to be as normal as she hoped them to be. Pulling her Midtown sweater over her hands she left her room for dinner with her father and team.

Her feet were covered by a pair of white socks helping her making her slip quietly into her chair next to Steve. Tony noticed his daughter’s off mood due to her lack of makeup and her hair carelessly shoved into a ponytail. She served herself some vegetables and chicken before waiting for everyone else to eat; this was natural behaviour for her, something her mother taught her as it was polite. Tony caught Katherine’s eye and she sent him a smile, but not a usual goofy one that he loved so dearly. Dinner was quiet apart from comments from Vision and Sam who tried to start conversations, it was never this awkward and everyone knew something was up, but they didn’t dare ask.  

“May I be excused? I have a chem paper due tomorrow and I still have work to do on it?” Katherine spoke for the first time at the table, all eyes on her father waiting for his approval. Katherine didn’t like feeling this exposed around people she trusted but with the never-ending burning of the scars, she couldn’t risk anything. Millions of thoughts ran around Tony’s head as what was up with his daughter, was it her time of the month? No, he’s been told a million times by Natasha never to ask that question. Was everything alright at school? When he met his daughters questioning eyes he nodded quickly.

“Of course, honey. I’ll bring you some ice cream in a bit if you like?” He asked Katherine as she stood pushing her chair in and picking up her plate. “It’s ok, not really in the mood” She spoke leaving the dining room. Tony watched his daughter disappear around the corner and he put his fork down, his hunger disappearing. He stood from the table leaving to his lab without a word and Pepper’s concerned eyes following.

Katherine had kept her big lamp on rather than her main light, that way it was darker, and she didn’t have to see the ugly covering her arms. The teenager had been struggling with balancing school, family and this unknown source of power she has acquired; this meant that she had become very distant from her friends and they didn’t even send her a message to see if she was ok. As she scribbled the last chemical formula down, she shut the paper and sat on her window seat looking down on New York. Katherine always thought about what it would be like to live in an apartment building like some of her friends, like what it would be like to not have parts of your life shown to the world. But she would never know that life.

She brought her hands up and electricity danced around her finger tips delicately causing the scars to travel further up her arm. Katherine was so fascinated by her new-found power; the pain had turned into a dull ache. Her eyes caught the sight of a slightly damaged envelope waiting by her feet. She hadn’t written to Tom in weeks, she kept putting off writing her brother because she knew she couldn’t lie to him. The paper felt foreign in her fingertips as she opened the letter addressed to Katherine Stark.

Kathy,

Dad wrote to me explaining what happened. I wish I was at home with you making sure you get better rather than out here. I started to worry when I didn’t get your usual letter but don’t worry, take your time getting better, I’ll wait.

Sargent says there is a possibility I’ll be able to come home for a couple of days in December, which I know is a while away yet, but I know you told me to tell you if anything changes. Remember Sarah? The women I told you about in my last letter? Well we went on a date, well not really a date more us both sitting together in the lunch room at our own table. I think you’ll really like her, she reminds me of Mom a little bit, maybe Dad will approve too? She’s a medic here and I’m not going to go into details, but I got injured, I’m 100% fine don’t worry, but I said one of those cringey pickup lines and now she loves me. What can I say, I’m just like Dad in that way?

The next video chat slot for me would be on the 2 November which is a few weeks from now, so I’ll call you on the big screen and I’ll finally get to see if you’ve grown (although I highly doubt it). Not much has happened in the past weeks so I’ll wait for you to write me back.

Love you always,

Tom.

The girls smile stayed small on her face as she held the letter close to her. She was happy her brother had found someone to make him happy, and of course if he liked her, Katherine would too. A knock on her door disturbed her from her thoughts and she quietly let them know they could come in. Steve knew that Katherine would be angry at Wanda, possibly raging angry but he had to offer his help, he promised Wanda he wouldn’t tell anyone and for all the years he had known the youngest Stark, he could never hurt her.

“Wanda said you wanted to talk to me?” He cursed himself for not just being honest. This very sentence made Katherine’s heart race at a hundred miles per hour, how was she meant to tell him, did she want to tell him at all? She turned to face Steve who was sat on the edge of her bed.

“I’m scared” She whispered her emerald eyes holding back tears as a lump rose in her throat, she decided she trusted Steve more than any of the others because he had proved it. Every year on the anniversary of her mother’s death, Steve would take her to the cemetery. It was something Thomas asked Steve to do before he left for the army since Tony could never bring himself to go. And every year, Steve would hold the girl when she cried, and he would take her out for a milkshake at a diner she used to go to when she was younger. Steve was pretty much a brother to Katherine, and she was thankful to have him. Steve’s brows furrowed, and he took her small hands in his.

“Of what Kath? What’s going on?” She sniffled before staring deep into his eyes. “You must promise me you won’t tell a soul until I’m ready for other people to know ok?” He nodded slowly and sat back as Katherine pulled her hands away. She knew it was a bad idea and she was frightened of what would happen, but she also knew she had to show someone what was happening to her. The soft blue material of her sweatshirt was pulled up revealing the burn marks. Steve’s eyes widened, and he gently took hold of her arms. A shiver ran through her arms and she ground her teeth together and electric sparks swarmed her fingertips.

“I can’t control it. Wanda says she is going to help me but every time it happens, these burns grow. Steve, what if they don’t stop? What if they cover me and I’ll be ugly?” She told him yanking her sleeves down suddenly feeling exposed. He was still in shock as he saw you bring you knees to your chest and tears left the teenagers eyes yet again.

“You will never be ugly, if anything, it makes you more beautiful. The only way we can find out what is going on is if we ask Bruce or possibly Tony for help, okay? I know it’s hard telling people, but I don’t want you being in pain. I can schedule you in for training with Wanda, but I’ll just put it in as private training, so nobody can watch” The girl jumped up wrapping her arms around the very tall super solider. She mumbled a million thanks as she cried into his shoulder, his arms wrapping protectively around the young girl, “It’s just so hard keeping this from people. Even my friends haven’t noticed something is off” She told him pulling away and composing herself.

“Then you must be doing something right. You don’t want other people to know remember? Now get some sleep, your dad will want to talk to you about all this” Katherine nodded before he left the room. She grabbed a pen and paper and started writing to Thomas.

***

“11 Wakandans were among those killed during a confrontation between the Avengers and a group of mercenaries in Lagos, Nigeria last month. The traditionally reclusive Wakandans were on an outreach mission in Lagos when the attack occurred. What legal authority does an enhanced individual like Wanda Maximoff have to operate in Nigeri” Katherine quickly shut the news off as Wanda came into the room, her face showing no emotion and Steve at her side.

“Training will start after the meeting with the Secretary” She wished them luck and was left alone in the living room. Pulling her phone from her pocket, she saw Peter had sent her a link to a chemistry revision site and she laughed to herself. Earlier in the day, the two teens had been talking about what they do in their spare time and apparently Peter just revises, so he sent her the link and said it would be very helpful; she quickly messaged back thanks. Katherine and Peter had grown closer ever since the day he helped her out of school, Peter was excited when they first started messaging and he has recently been sitting with her at lunch too due to her friends not really realising she is still there. Katherine sharply turned her head as she heard the door slam and Wanda appear, “Ready?”

Katherine felt very uncomfortable in her training uniform as it consisted of a sports bra and leggings, her arms on full display for the world to see, and possibly even her father. The elastic of the clothing was irritating against her laceration scars on her torso, which she hated. Everyone here had already seen them since them but that didn’t make the voices in her head any less horrible. Wanda was stood opposite her with her hands out in front of her, “Okay, first I want you to show me what you can do” She nodded before stretching her arms out and watching small electric sparks dance around her fingertips, the grow of the burns being more ticklish than painful, “Ok, now I want you to project it around you like a bubble, imagine what colour it would be, how it would look to others” Katherine imagined it to be transparent but blue streaks of electricity swarmed around, as she opened her eyes, she saw fiery balls of sparking electricity in her palms. 

Wanda smiled slightly but the peaceful moment was ruined. A painful scream escaped Katherine’s lips as she felt the burns grow; they dug deep and felt like someone was dragging blade up her arms, stopping at her shoulders. Katherine dropped to her knees crying in agony as her skin felt like it was on fire Wanda automatically called for Steve as she carried her to a bench sitting her down. Blood trickled down Katherine’s arms as Steve came rushing in holding a med kit.

“What happened?” He demanded as he held a cloth to the bleeding scars, it wasn’t too heavy but extremely painful. “I think the scars have reached their limit, they are like lightning bolts, more burn marks that will heal but obviously she’ll have the lines. I think she can fully commit to her power now. It was extraordinary” Wanda spoke as the wounds stopped bleeding on Katherine’s arms. Steve’s worried eyes searched for any pain in the teenager’s face but before he could speak she stood and was speaking to Wanda. “Again. I’m fixing this now and once we get this out the way training can start right?” Without a word Wanda stood and watched the young girl breathe deeply and start the process again.

Katherine was exhausted when her training had ended. She had had fourteen training sessions now and was loving it however she wanted nothing more than to wrap herself in her blankets on her bed and sleep; but that wasn’t happening tonight. Katherine’s door was flung open and in came Steve Rogers, he looked tired and his eyes were red. “Steve? What’s the matter?” He closed her door before he flicked on her lamp and sat in the chair next to her desk.

“Peggy” His only word echoed in the deadly silent room and the girl’s chest felt heavy. Katherine had known about Peggy and Steve since she was old enough to understand what people were saying and she knew how much she meant to the man she considered family.

“Steve” She started but instead just got up and hugged the broken man. Steve always thought of Katherine as a younger sister and he was so protective of her it was unbelievable. Tony heavily approved of their relationship but it normally turned to jealousy when he realised his daughter would go to Steve to talk about her problems and not her father. He was aware he wasn’t the number one father in the world, but he couldn’t wait for the day she came to him instead of Steve. Steve broke the hug first by sitting the girl opposite him on her bed. “It is going to be a secret from Tony and he can’t know because I could get arrested.” The mention of a possible arrest made her eyes widen but somehow, she was intrigued more. “What exactly are you doing?”

“I’m finding Bucky”

TAG LIST 

@supernaturallover2002 @savedbystark @editsbyjenny @seriouslyobsessed

@queendarktigress @racewife2004

[cs-discourse]

since someone wanted some rp salt and i just finished writing a reply to one of the many things i write with my wonderful and amazing lovely writing friend, i'm going to tell you guys the story of the time i was very stupidly accused of stealing someone's basic as fuck role play idea (and yes mine was basic as fuck too but it had a little more substance to it at least).

this happened super long ago so i sadly don't have the messages these two people sent me anymore and the details are a little fuzzy, but i'll do my best to tell it with as much detail as i can. i've also not had a real sleep in several days so there's that too and i'm so sorry if that leads to this making no sense

but ! anyway. so around the time i was near the end of transitioning from nothing but group rps to strictly 1x1s and still did the cringey "open" things for character spots in a post for those, i had this 1x1 with someone i was friends with at the time. i think it was our second ?? maybe first ? one together, and the plot was it's the children of Harry Potter characters, and there's this big evil like good ol' moldy oldy voldy coming in. at the same time, there was this group Harry Potter role play with the plot of children of Harry Potter characters going to school, with similar coding to what mine had at the time, because it was during the phase of people discovering text symbols and using the block ones ( █ ) to line either side, with a font image and a gif beneath the font image in the center.

now, i had seen the existence of that rp, because i was into Harry Potter at the time and i'm of course going to look at it, but i never gave it more than a glance, and the only thing i saw was that Draco Malfoy was married to Astoria Greengrass, which i hadn't known at the time because then i hated Draco (oh young me how the times have changed you love him and write a thing with him now with your wonderful writing friend), and that was it. i had seen nothing more, not the plot, not anything else other than the coding (which again was extremely common at the time) and her name, so imagine my surprise when one day little me gets on chicken smoothie ready to write some hot garbage™ as i did everyday and i get a pm from this person i've never seen before, or ever spoken with, asking if they could write the spot of the Slytherin character i had labeled as open for personal reference to me and my partner in that. when i tell them that hey stranger, that spot isn't open to you, it's a 1x1, they come back to me with the usual sort of "i didn't want to join it anyway, it's just a copy of *this person's* role play!1!1111!1!!!!" and i'm just??? boi, the fuk? i tell them i've never seen the plot of that before and i don't even know what that group rp is about, and low an behold the owner of that comes flying into my messages on their entitled firebolt broomstick 5000 saying hey, why'd you steal my shit? knowing how much of a little rule following little shit i used to be and how much of a pretentious goodey-twoshoes asshole i used to sound like i probably didn't respond as maturely or calmly or just well in general as i should have (and person if you happen to read this you have my sincerest apology for that), but i basically explained how until then, i had never even seen the plot of theirs before, and that it's not a plot you can exactly steal to begin with because everyone does it including miss queen of "oh hey all these characters are suddenly *insert woke point thing here*" and i don't respect some of my characters (read Draco's pottermore page my god it shows how she has zero respect for him and is fucking disturbed by girls [what about the boys and lovely non binary people and those who identify as something else?] liking him) whatsoever J.K Rowling, you know, the author? the lady who wrote the fucking books and later the cursed child? they then come back to me and go something like "well then where'd you get those text symbols then?" as if i had stolen them from their rp and i then link them to the site i got them from which has all of the symbols and that shut them up and they never sent me anything again boom the end.

anyway that was a lot longer than i intended it to be and probably really boring for everyone else besides me who is still salty and amused about that situation, and i'm so so sorry for that, but i tried to make it as amusing as i can and thought it might be a nice little happy thing to help people feel a little bit better with all the confessions coming out (and to those who have spoken up, i am so ridiculously proud of you all and i so hope you're healing now and if you ever need to talk i'm always here <333333 i've not gone through that kind of experience exactly but i've been through something similar and i definitely understand how it feels to go through that) and i hope it at least gives someone a little laugh or smile <3

peace you funky little salt gremlins, love you all <3

[kpopboysreact]

BTS Reaction - S/O is a Secret Pervert

Request from @fluffis4suckers: heya, I was wondering if you could do a bts reaction of the reader being a shy pervert.... as in, they'd be super pervy on some social media but not in real life, and keep it all in their head and Wattpad (or something else, it doesn't have to be wp)

Haha I’m kind of a shy pervert too 😜 I can't even talk about sex irl yet you've seen the stuff I write on my blog 😂 hope you enjoy the reaction!

Do I even need to say which admin is writing the reactions anymore? Unless stated otherwise, assume it’s admin Sammie 😘😘

RM

Namjoon is a pervert too...except he isn't shy about it. There have been several occurrences where his members have called him out for his rather sexual tendencies *cough* he literally said in one of his songs “Imma beat that pussy like you never ever felt before” *cough* so when he found out about the dirty thoughts you had going through your mind, he was determined to help you live them out, wanting to make sure that you knew that your thoughts were nothing to be embarrassed about. From that point on, he would tease you relentlessly. Whether it was squeezing your thigh when no one was looking, sending you random sexts throughout the day, or flat out groaning his desires in your ear, he would be the biggest tease. Now that he knew what really went through your mind, he wouldn't hesitate to let you know what was going through his.

Jin

Jin would be so flustered. He was very happy with your sex life, but he started to wonder if he wasn’t good enough for you. Did you have kinks you wanted to try that he was oblivious to? Did you two not do it enough to satisfy you? Once he found out, he would want to talk to you about it regardless of how cringey that conversation would go. He takes your opinions and wants very seriously, so he would be genuinely interested in if there was anything he could do to make you more satisfied in bed.

(This gif doesn't really relate but holy FUCK Jin looks beautiful)

Suga

Yoongi would smirk like the asshole he is. You know that little half smirk he does? Yep. That one. He would find it pretty amusing that you had this unexpected side of you. “You never fail to surprise me, jagiya.” He would use this against you when you least expected it, secretly reading the stories you wrote on wattpad/checking the most recent smuts you read, then doing to you some of the things you'd shown interest in. This new discovery would certainly add a little spice to your sex life.

J-Hope

I think Hobi is a closet pervert, so he would feel a little bit more confident in himself knowing that you had hidden perverted thoughts as well. To me, he seems like the type of person who would read smut with you as a way to turn you on now that he knew that’s what you were into. It would also allow him to gauge your reactions to see what you liked best and were willing to try in bed.

V

I feel like Taehyung would lowkey have a suspicion that you had a secret perverted side of you before you even told him. Because of this, he would be pretty experimental in bed already, wanting you to let your inhibitions go. He knows how private and shy you are about it though, so he wouldn't talk about it too much so as to not make you uncomfortable. If he was teasing you however, that’s a whole different story; he would ask you exactly how you'd like to be fucked because he knew you knew the answer to that question.

Jimin

Jimin would be a blushing mess when he found out about your secret desires. He thought he had an innocent girlfriend! He wasn't ready for this new information! Jimin wanted to know what you were thinking about but he was too shy to ask. Yet, regardless of how cute he is, he is still a young guy and he would eventually work up the courage to ask you (probably while his dick was hard), and you two would have a fun time exploring your desires together.

Jungkook

JungSHOOK. It’s not that he didn't like this side of you, he just definitely wasn't expecting it. He’d warm up to the new reality quickly though. He’s young! And he likes to have fun. He’s had a lot of perverted thoughts himself that he didn't think you’d be able to handle, so he kept them to himself...but now that he knows what you're into, you can expect him to open up more. You'd be one of the very few people who know just how freaky this boy can get.

(Jimin is one of the others ㅋㅋ)

(Aaaaand so is Taehyung)

[theproofinthisong]

oh my god you fools are still at it. unbelievable. can’t believe you’re still arguing about this post in my notes have you got nothing better to do. apparently not. so let’s go again!

@nikabear488 : point to me where exactly did i say shawn needed to come out. where did i say this. right i didn’t. i would never force someone to come out when he’s not ready yet. i’m bisexual and it took me two years to come out. it can take you 6 months, 3 year, a decade or more. i will never judge that. what i’m judging is his label’s decision to prevent him from doing so, not shawn. next time check my posts before coming at me for absolutely no reason. as for the music part i really hope this is a joke because?? your other argument means nothing because it’s the same old, cringey, tiring argument i’ve heard about a thousand times. everytime us lgbt people say a celebrity we like is gay we’re getting these messages “ok but you’re the homophobic one for saying this!!” it’s pathetic and disrespectful as fuck. once again i’m not saying shawn is gay based only on mannerisms and if you read my post you could have known. i’m pretty sure you’re one of these people that think photographing men with flowers in their beards will end sexist culture and defending straight men’s platonic hugs is more important than actually protecting gay, trans and bi men from homophobia and transphobia. i’ve got nothing more to say except you’re the close minded one and if you see someone being discussed as gay as an insult, my dear friend, you are the one with a problem, not me.

@anti-radfem: that url name got that URL NAME. nauseating. you talk as if you’re stuck in tumblr circa 2011 and that’s honestly ridiculous. also i’m too kind for answering you because your words mean absolutely nothing to me, you dumb republican trashbag. go fuck yourself and never come back. i don’t give you the right to even talk to me.

@crystalgem18: you know what? i said before i wasn’t bisexual. not because i wasn’t aware of it or didn’t want to say it. because i knew i couldn’t. i knew i was exposed to homophobic violence and i didn’t want to take the risk. there are countless examples of lgbt people not saying they’re gay when they are. and shawn being closeted by his label is a good reason not to say it. you are all talking about a conspiracy, needing evidence, and that is purely disgusting. antis are pulling the same shit when talking about harry and louis as if it wasn’t fucking obvious they are dating. why do you always need more proof? why? when we give you your precious proofs, y’all suddenly become blind. closeting in the music industry is a thing, as much i don’t want it to be. i would rather live in a world where it doesn’t fucking exist and lgbt people can love and live freely. i would fucking love it. but you’re fucking deluded if you can’t see most of the cultural industries are still deeply homophobic. you dumbasses all talk as if closeting is something we created when it has been, tragically, going on for ages. 

just talking about singers? ricky martin was closeted. olly alexander was told he should hide the fact that he was gay to protect his band (and brand). george shelley from union j? closeted too. i could go on for a decade. closeting is fucking evewhere. in sport, acting, music, all kinds of art. and the common point, everywhere? management does it because money matters more to them than anything else. they want the conventionally attractive men to appeal to the largest female audience. because it makes MONEY. they don’t care about anything else. cash, public image, marketing. the music industry is rotten, extremely racist, sexist and homophobic and half of the managers should be in jail for what they have done to the artists they are in charge of. 

and before you come at me and ask me why shawn would sign with a label that wants to closet him it’s because the people writing these documents are clever. they willingly take advantage of legal loopholes and trick young, impressionable artists into thinking they’re protecting their image or they put a vague line in the middle of thirty other pages knowing exactly what they’re doing. they know the youngs artist don’t have the knowledge in law or music marketing to have the upper hand in this. sure people were already talking about shawn being gay before but as soon as he got signed, it became more important to give him an heterosexual image because he was gaining visibility. and that article, depicting him as crying about the nasty gay rumors? it’s calculated. it is meant to convince the general public that he’s not gay, will never be (how my god how can you even imply it, which is what you hetties sound like) while keeping the progressive card intact (the “it shouldn’t matter” line). all music labels have different strategies. sony wants louis to be seen as homophobic. harry’s label as an ally but nothing more, except a nasty womanizer. mostly, they want them to be represented as straight. just like shawn. and that printed interview? it came out right when the hailey bieber topic was super popular. it’s marketing GOLD. they posted it at the right time. at the time where it would be the most efficient. i wish their nasty techniques wouldn’t work. most of us lgbt people are not fooled by the press because we actually have eyes and brains.hearts. but you are and i fucking hate it. so stop talking about conspiracies, theories and disrespectful shit like that. you’re hurting me and thousand of lgbt fans with those words.

also the fact that you’re the second one to hit me with this reverse homophobia argument is absolutely sickening. i’m a bisexual girl. don’t you think i know about prejudices and the harm they do to people? i’m fucking hurt by everything you said. you don’t have a fucking clue what i went through and you’re assuming you know when you don’t fucking know shit. i wish i could make fun of the fact that you said “what if i’m straight what’s the problem” but i fucking can’t. yes it matters. it matters because lgbt voices matter more than straight voices in this kind of discussion. and if you can’t see why, you’re incredibly tone deaf. i’m not “obsessed” with shawn’s sexuality. i’m not doing anything wrong to him. i’m not harassing him and stalking him following him to his hotel. and who does? the nasty het fanbase that thinks he will sleep with them as soon as he meets them. not me. not us.

and honestly? if the interview was legit and shawn was truly straight and hurt by the rumors? (which i don’t believe at all) i would drop him right on the spot. because when these interviews are published, with denials that EXTRA, it always means something is up. the guy is either homophobic (if he really believes those words) or closeted (the label wants to protect the straight image so bad they’ll wrote anything that will sound the MOST straight and gay repulsed)

the fact that you’re EVEN asking why a label would closet its lgbt artists speak for itself. you’re ignorant as fuck and you are writing me paragraphs to give me a lecture but the truth is you know nothing. i don’t want to start a civil discussion with you. i don’t want your straight opinion on the matter. i don’t fucking want it. take it back and never come to my blog again.

i started writing this post knowing that it would make me mad. y’all make me fucking mad. you should be ashamed of yourselves. 

[percyjacksonfan3]

now it's my turn to send u questions for the writers ask game!! 4, 5, 8, 10, 12 please! (if sols isn't the fic ur most proud of I won't be that *that* offended, I promise. u have so many fantastic fics that I will understand 😘)

Aw Tay, you’re the absolute best 💕 I’m so excited for these so expect some long answers cause... it’s me and I ramble. You can find the Fanfic Writer asks here!

4. Are there any writers that inspire you?

I don’t know if this means professionally or for me writing my own fics, but I’m assuming the latter. So the answer is a bit complicated, because the writers of canon (whether book authors, script writers, whatever) are probably most of my inspiration? When I hyperfixate and write fic I obsessively consume and reconsume the canon content so that I feel I understand the characters and their voices so I can (hopefully) write without it being ooc. I also usually read tons of fic from the fandom first and get a sense of how fandom views the characters. So I would say the og authors and writers inspire me but so does anyone who’s written a favourite fic of mine. (I feel like this isn’t the answer the question is asking for but here ya go, learn about my writing process)

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

Honestly a few could be my answer. My first fic, Love and Sorrows, is so cringey for me to look back on, but to be completely honest I am extremely proud of it, because I was so young when I wrote and posted it and the response I got was so positive it really cemented me as a fic writer by giving me the confidence I needed to continue. I’m also super proud of i wouldn’t have danced like that with any but you, my Hobbit fic, because it’s a huge epic that took years to write. But really sick of losing soulmates has to be my answer because it’s my Merthur baby and I wrote it with you Tay, which was one of the most fun experiences I’ve ever had. (Also way to make me sound like a jerk in my ask by you being so sweet in this one, thanks very much)

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

Hmm this might sound snobby but I don’t find many characters particularly difficult? I think because I obsess so much I don’t start writing until I feel I understand every character extremely well. Although now I think about it I do struggle with young Bilbo a bit (Hobbit era Bilbo I mean). He’s just very complex, which is why so far the in the orchard series is from Thorin’s POV

10. What’s your favourite genre to write for?

Angst. Absolutely angst, that’s my jam. Unless this means like books vs movies or fiction or non fiction, etc, cause then the answer is anything. But I typically write angst (usually with a happy ending though) because it’s very cathartic and I love pushing characters to the limits

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited for.

Ho boy, okay. There’s so many to pick from. Now that I’m done the first parts of the in the orchard series I’m going to focus on my Drarry fics and try and finish and post them. The first one is an Eighth Year Drarry fic and I am... so excited for it because I have loved Harry Potter almost my entire life but this is my first time actually writing for it? I don’t want to give away too much but it explores everyone moving on from the war and how I see things playing out if JKR hadn’t been such a coward :p

Yep I was right, this turned out to be huge! If you’ve made it this far thanks so much, and thank you again @yourstrulytaaay, these make my day 💕

[stirlingdiypress]

Review: ‘Do What U Want’ by Moonsoup

Moonsoup are a new band fronted and formed by Falkirk based singer songwriter Niamh Baker, with the help of Melissa Brisbane who mastered the record, as well as a list of local DIY musicians who played/performed/recorded and just in general helped make this little 4 track EP the gem it is!

The general vibe of the EP, is hazy and folk-based, while the guitar style and moody drums mean that these songs would not sound altogether out of place on commercial radio.

First track ‘Fucked Friday’ is clearly about regrets, and letting your friends down after a rough night on the tiles. Yet somehow the way the guitar plays under the lyrics, and the prominence of drum beat, means you can’t help but tap your feet. It makes you forget the actual subject of the song, until the song closes with distortion and talking which add to the idea of confusion around a rough night (lets face it, we’ve all been there, right?).

‘Joanne and Leo’ is up next, and along with the end track ‘Thanks for the Advice, Rick’, makes for a lovely pairing. They feel like natural progressions of one another - ‘Joanne and Leo’ is about falling in love, and ‘Thanks for the Advice, Rick’ is about heartbreak, and falling for someone you shouldn’t have. They are perfectly matched, and both boast lovely hazy, folk melodies.

Middle track ‘Contrary’ feels like something Haim would happily put out on their next record. It has summer vibes. The guitar comes in mid-bridge, and alongside the bass, thumps its way throughout. A perfect summer evening tune!

The one thing I like most about this whole EP is the wavering chorus effect on the guitars, giving them that slightly ‘out of key’ sound, giving the songs an edge and depth. This is a stellar release, and hopefully is a sign of great things to come from Moonsoup. I for one cant wait to hear what else Niamh has hidden up her sleeves!

To get a bit of insight into the EP and what’s on the horizon for the band, we caught up with Niamh to ask a few questions...

How long have you been making music?

I guess that has a few different answers. I’ve been writing silly songs since I was a young gal. Sang all the time since I can remember and I started guitar when I was 13. I kinda mucked about for a while but I'd say I was 15 when I tried to seriously write stuff. I wouldn't say i was writing anything very good until I was around 18 though. 

What was the main inspiration for your new EP, ‘Do What u Want’?

As a whole I think a lot of it was inspired by moving out and growing up and "finding yourself" as cringey as that sounds. Most of it was recorded in my flat. I like how much I feel we've captured my first crappy little flat in the songs. I moved out of my family home last summer and I definitely did a lot of growing up. I've always been pretty mature for my age in a sense but it's been a whole new way of living to adjust to. I gained a lot more self assurance I think and that's pretty much where the name came from really - I've been trying to accept that I can't please everyone all the time. I wrote a couple of the songs amongst this time so a lot of it is kind of just about having fun with the newfound freedom. There's a bit of a darker side to it too though I guess.

Musically, who inspires you most?

I always find that a difficult question because I listen to a lot of different music and just want to make whatever it is I'm listening to really. I'm currently listening to a lot of King Krule, super into what he does. Combining a lot of different stuff to make a unique and distinctive sound is quite inspiring to me. I think I'm influenced by a lot of different stuff to be honest. Local stuff inspires me a lot too, I'm always baffled by talented friends like Sulka, Quitter, Constant Follower; and December ‘91.

Do you think it’s harder to be a woman in the music industry?

I mean I don't know what it's like to be a man in the music industry so I don't think I'll ever fully know or understand. I try not to think about it to be honest which may be part of the problem but I don't like focusing on it too much because then I think it's more enhanced in my head. I'm sure everyone experiences things they aren't happy with because that's just life. There's definitely stuff I dislike but I think it's constantly getting better and if we all do our best to make that the case then what more can you ask for really. I'm also not too experienced in the industry yet so maybe I'll have more to say about it in the future.

If you could collaborate with anyone on a song, who would it be and why?

I think I'd choose either Justin Vernon (Bon Iver), Adrianne Lenker (Big Thief) or Kristine Leschper (Mothers). Purely because they write the most beautiful lyrics and I'd just love to see that in action or at least talk to them about it. Also I feel like we would write real cool songs together that would be cool, someone make that happen please.

Where did you come up with the name Moonsoup?

I wanted to have some sort of moon or space word because it's just something I've been into since I was young and I guess has some sort of meaning. I was kind of just in bed one night thinking up things based around that and I thought of Moonsoup and it just sort of sounded good to me. I wanted something goofy but maybe a little meaning too. Something to remind myself to just have fun and not think into everything too much.

And finally, if you were stuck on a desert island, what is the one thing you would make sure you had on you?

Probably my notebook and pen. I mean I guess all the other essentials too but if we're excluding them my journal feels pretty important. Gotta document those fun times on the island ya know.

Stream/Download the EP here.

Words: Emma Lawrence

Photos: Holly Graham

[infernallewords]

Stereotypes

I’m sick of them.  I’m sick to death of them.  If I see one more show, movie, or book with a stereotype of a minority in it, I will scream and pretend that piece of garbage doesn’t exist.  If you have to add a commonly used adjective to your minority to describe it (one you’ve seen used previously), you are writing a stereotype.  I have dropped show after show after show because of this.  At this point I just watch silly videos online, because almost every show has this, with the exception of The Flash, because that show is apparently being written by people who actually interact with minorities.  The story line may be a little hackneyed, but the minority characters are gold.  And people need to take a page from its book, because fucking hell it’s beautiful.  

If I can watch a movie/show or read a book with a minority, and predict exactly how they will behave, that thing will be dead to me.  

Example: I was so excited to read a Christopher Moore book.  Super excited.  I’d heard so many good things about Lamb.  Everybody I knew loved it.  Well, I wanted to read a horror story, and he had written a horror comedy called A Dirty Job.  This book was set in San Fran’s Chinatown district.  The main character, a white male, was written with some depth (goofy, beta male stupidity, but some depth).  His lesbian sister was written as just that.  Her entire story line revolved around her being a lesbian.  Not her as a person, but just her as a lesbian.  Okay, I said, and continued on.  His Chinese landlady spoke in broken English, stole his many pets to eat them, and screamed in Cantonese at him.  His female Russian neighbor constantly talked about fighting bears.  The one black guy in the book, who could also sense the dead, always dressed like a pimp, is called “Minty Fresh”, and pretends to be gay to lure in gay men to buy all his Cher albums.  Also, the main character is constantly “talking black” to him.  He’s also super physically strong.  His creepy fellow shop keeper is constantly searching for “desperate Filipina girls” on dating websites and fetisizes them.  There’s some ugly “trans humor” attached to it that makes me cringe.  And the women are all fuckpuppets.  One of the female souls gets attached to her breast implants.  

Do you see the problem here?  I will never read another fucking book by this author, because the method by which he wrote his minority characters was stunningly bad.  Not all black men have to be big, burly pimps dressed in pimp suits.  Not all Asian people “eat dog”.  I guess he was trying to throw you off the scent with the Russian lady and “wrestling bears”, but fuck man, you don’t make something better by doubling down on it.  And if you’re trying to comment on stereotypes, you have to subvert them in a well-written way.  This author does not do that in the least.  All he needed was the sexed up, saucy Latina character with her big hips and “feisty attitude”.  Thank god there was no “sassy Black woman”, or the many, many stereotypes depicting Black women as either whores, mammies, or non-sexed magical characters for the main character’s benefit (though Minty did come off as a bit of a magical negro character to help guide the story line).  Also, if the main character hadn’t been portrayed as a “beta male”, I’m sure there would have been some white savior complex a la every main white male character Hollywood throws in with a bunch of minority characters.  

“Oh, stop talking down about white people!  That’s just racist!”

Well, I am talking about minority stereotypes and the inherent racism therein, so it makes sense to talk about the opposite problem, y’know?  You can’t improve upon a problem without talking about the problem.  Also, stop getting cringey when somebody talks about white characters and their juxtaposition with minority characters in pieces of entertainment.  The troupes are already proven and they are well-worn.  Besides, I’m talking about representation, and it matters.  White characters get amazing representation with depth, personality, romance, wants, goals, dreams, and hopes for their future.  All I want is to see is that with minority characters, which rarely happens unless it’s written by a minority.  And then if it’s a movie, expect a slave narrative, which I pretty much will not watch (#nomoreslavenarratives).

Example: While I did enjoy the movie Logan (went to the theatre and everything), its WSC was off the scales.  I still enjoyed it, but why?  And if anybody rolls their eyes at me mentioning this, just take a look at the way Hollywood furthers this standard.  Avatar, The Help, The Blind Side, The Last Samurai, Dangerous Minds, etc.  Hell, martial arts films made by Hollywood have a straight up complex when it comes to the Asian master who teaches the non-Asian to fight and be the best there ever was.  I can direct you to Iron Fist, the Netflix show that does this, but everybody says, “Hey man, that was the original story!”  Okay, but that’s actually not better.  The fact that this has been going on forever doesn’t make it excusable.  The movie Man of Tai Chi doesn’t exactly endear me to the concept, either.  And I won’t even go into everything wrong with that horrific Dragonball movie.  

And so you know I’m not pulling this out of my ass.

http://feministfilm.tumblr.com/post/6608112156/a-brief-list-and-analysis-of-white-savior-films

All I’m saying is this: I just want to see some realistic depictions of minorities in Hollywood and beyond.  I’m sick of the stereotypes.  I’m sick of being super excited to watch or read something, only to be hit over the head with stereotypes anytime a minority is introduced.  And I’m also sick of people refusing to even write minorities in lead parts, because they don’t want to offend or have “tokens”.  As Tim Burton put it, “Nowadays, people are talking about it [diversity] more ... things either call for things, or they don’t. I remember back when I was a child watching The Brady Bunch and they started to get all politically correct. Like, OK, let’s have an Asian child and a black. I used to get more offended by that than just… I grew up watching blaxploitation movies, right? And I said, that’s great. I didn’t go like, OK, there should be more white people in these movies.”

First of all, lol.  This is why I haven’t watched a Tim Burton film since he fucked up Sweeney Todd.  Second, “a black”?  Blaxploitation films?  Oh man.  Third, minorities aren’t just people you sprinkle in stories for the sake of diversity.  If you have a diverse group of friends, they aren’t there just because you “sprinkled them in”.  You have them because you like them and what they bring to the table as human beings.  You have friends from different backgrounds, because you have things in common.  It’s those commonalities that cause you to come together and experience life.  Why people who write these scripts and screenplays and books seem to completely forget the real people they know in real life when they put pen to paper is beyond me.  If you have black friends, are they are sexless mammies who are magical negroes that merely exist in your life to further your story?  Are they all thieves or pimps or gangstas who have at some point involved themselves in criminal activity?  Do the young black women you know all resort to drugs or having a bunch of kids for child support or welfare?  Are they turning tricks?  Are the guys all players who fuck women and leave them with kids?  Are the black women in your life all neck-swiveling Shaniquas who wag their fingers and eat fried chicken and talk about “oh no you didn’t!”  

I certainly hope none of the people I know who write would try to shove me in any of those boxes, because I don’t fit in any of them.  I’m childless, in a long term relationshipand have hopes and dreams and a love of creativity, writing, and books.  I also have mental illnesses that affect my ability to be social and end up staying at home all day trying to parse my own reality while struggling with existential dread and nihilism.  I have the type of personality that would never be attributed to a black woman in many scenarios.  I’m not strong and independent--I’m a sad, depressed girl with anxiety issues who spends her time fumbling through life while trying to be successful and artistic.  That black girl never gets written, and it’s a shame.  That Korean/Chinese/Filipino/Indonesian girl never gets written.  That Latina girl never gets written.  That Indian girl never gets written.  Same with minority guys.  That guy, as a minority, never gets written, and I know so many going through the same ups and downs as me.

Minority characters are fucking human.  When I see us get written as humans in a movie or show or book, I inhale it and support it with all my might.  I will stan for these things.  I get excited about them.  I tell everybody about any piece of entertainment that does this and does it right.  And if you don’t know how to do it (I’m looking at you, again, Hollywood), then just write a character and make them a minority second.  Again, take a page from The Flash, who does this marvelously.  They wrote people first, and minorities second.  Did they have some slip ups (the absent mother who becomes a drug addict arc for Iris West), yes.  And it was stupid.  Did they make up with it with Iris’s brother in a way when they introduced Kid Flash?  Absolutely, and his character is awesome.  He was a little hotheaded at the beginning, but when they found his voice and disposed of certain stereotypical aspect (illegal drag racing), it was much better.  And really?  Even the drag racing played into him becoming Kid Flash due to his motivation for speed.  Even the mild stereotypes made some sense.  He’s a college student now with a job and a loving family, and that makes me so happy.  Why can’t more shows and movies do this?  Why is this so hard?  Joe West is a hard-working detective in the show and a black father who supports his kids.  He doesn’t have some edgy past with drugs and other crap.  He’s just ... amazing.  Why is that so hard?

Why is this so hard to comprehend?  I’m not complaining to be controversial or aggressive or mean or hateful (though many will obviously see that, regardless of how politely I structure my argument simply because I am mentioning race).  I’m complaining about it because I am none of these stereotypes, nobody I know or love are these stereotypes, and nobody I’m around are purely and only these stereotypes.  Whether or not you choose to believe that “stereotypes come from somewhere”, those same stereotypes can be found in any group of people.  So why are they only attributed to some and not others?  Or, if they are attributed to others, why do those others get to redeem themselves while the minorities who have these stereotypes don’t?  That’s where my frustration lies.

[paradiseforlana]

Lana Del Rey’s interview for Dazed Magazine:

Courtney Love: Is this the mysterious Lana Del Rey?

Lana Del Rey: Is this the one and only Courtney Love?

Lana Del Rey: So, we could just talk about whatever... Like those burning palm trees that you had in the ‘Malibu’ video. I didn’t think they were real!

Courtney Love: Back when rock’n’roll had budget, you mean? Oh my God, Lana, setting palm trees on fire was so fun. You thought they were CGI?

LDR: Yeah.

CL: God, you’re so young. I burned down palm trees. In my day, darling, you used to have to walk to school in the snow. So, since I toured with you, I got kind of obsessed and went down this Lana rabbit hole and became – not like I’m wearing a flower crown, Lana, don’t get ideas – but I absolutely love it. I love it as much as I love PJ Harvey.

LDR: That’s amazing because, maybe it’s slightly well documented, but I love everything you do, everything you have done – I couldn’t believe that you came on the tour with me.

CL: I read that you spend a lot of time mastering and mixing. Is that true on this new record?

LDR: Oh my God, yeah, it’s killing me. It’s because I spend so much time with the engineers working on the reverb. Because I actually don’t love a glossy production. If I want a bit of that retro feel, like that spring reverb or that Elvis slap, sometimes if you send it to an outside mixer they might try and dry things up a bit and push them really hard on top of the mix so it sounds really pop. And Born to Die did have a slickness to it, but, in general, I have an aversion to things that sound glossy all over – you have to pick and choose. And some people say, ‘It’s not radio-ready if it isn’t super-shiny from top to bottom.’ But you know this. Whoever mixed your stuff is a genius. Who did it?

CL: Chris Lord-Alge and Tom Lord-Alge. Kurt was really big on mastering. He sat in every mastering session like a fiend. I never was big on mastering because it’s such a pain in the butt.

LDR: It is a pain in the ass.

CL: I think my very, very favourite song of yours – you’re not gonna like this because it’s early – is ‘Blue Jeans’. I mean, ‘You’re so fresh to death and sick as ca-cancer’? Who does that?

LDR: I have to say, that track has this guy (Del Rey collaborator) Emile Haynie all over it. I remember ‘Blue Jeans’ was more of a Chris Isaak ballad and then I went in with him and it came out sounding the way it does now. I was like, ‘That’s the power of additional production.’ The song was on the radio in the UK, on Radio 1, and I remember thinking, ‘Fuck, that started off as a classical composition riff that I got from my composer friend, Dan Heath.’ It was, like, six chords that I started singing on.

CL: You have that lyric (on the song), ‘You were sorta punk rock, I grew up on hip hop.’ Did you really grow up on hip hop?

LDR: I didn’t find any good music until I was right out of high school, and I think that was just because, coming from the north country, we got country, we got NPR, and we got MTV.

CL: What I hear in your music is that you’ve created a world, you’ve created a persona, and you’ve created this kind of enigma that I never created but if I could go back I would create.

LDR: Are you even being serious right now? I don’t even know if your legacy could get any bigger. You’re one of the only people I know whose legacy precedes them. Just the name ‘Courtney Love’ is… You’re big, honey. You’re Hollywood. (laughs) Touring with Courtney Love (was), like, an Elizabeth Taylor diamond (for me).

CL: You know, I met Elizabeth Taylor. I was with Carrie Fisher at (Taylor’s) Easter party and she was taking six hours to come downstairs.

LDR: I love it.

CL: I looked at Carrie and I said, ‘This is not worth it,’ and Carrie said, ‘Oh, yes it is.’ So we snuck upstairs and, Lana, when you go past the Warhol of Elizabeth Taylor as you’re sneaking up the stairs and it says ‘001’, you start getting goosebumps. And then you see her room and it’s all lavender, like her eyes. And she’s in the bathroom getting her hair done by this guy named José Eber who wears a cowboy hat and has long hair, and I’m like, ‘What am I doing here? I’m not Hollywood royalty.’ And the first words out of her mouth are, like, ‘Fuck you, Carrie, how ya doin’?’ She was so salty but such a goddess at the same time.

LDR: She was so salty. The fact that she married Richard Burton twice – and all the stories you hear about those famous, crazy, public brawls – she was just up for it. Up for the trouble.

“What I hear in your music is that you’ve created a world, you’ve created a persona, and you’ve created this kind of enigma that I never did’’ — Courtney Love to Lana Del Rey

Tweet this quote

CL: You know what, darling? I started real early. I started stalking Andy Warhol before I could even think about it. And you kind of did the same, from my understanding. That ‘I want to make it’ thing. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

LDR: No, there’s not. There’s nothing wrong with it when you do the rest of it for the right reasons. If music is really in your blood and you don’t want to do anything else and you don’t really care about the money until later. It’s also about the vibe, not to be cliched. And the people. I think we had that in common. It was about wanting to go to shows, wanting to have your own show – living, breathing, eating, all of it.

CL: Can I ask you about your time in New Jersey? Was that a soul-searching time?

LDR: Oh, I don’t even know if I should have said to anyone that I was living in that trailer in New Jersey but, stupidly, I did this interview from the trailer, in 2008.

CL: I saw it!

LDR: It’s cringey, it’s cringey. (laughs)

CL: You look so cute, though.

LDR: I thought I was rockabilly. I was platinum. I thought I had made it in my own way.

CL: I understand completely.

LDR: The one thing I wish I’d done was go to LA instead of New York. I had been playing around for maybe four years, just open mics, and I got a contract with this indie label called 5 Points Records in 2007. They gave me $10,000 and I found this trailer in New Jersey, across the Hudson - Bergen Light Rail. So, I moved there, I finished school and I made that record (Lana Del Ray a.k.a. Lizzy Grant), which was shelved for two and a half years, and then came out for, like, three months. But I was proud of myself. I felt like I had arrived, in my own way. I had my own thought and it was kind of kitschy and I knew it was going to sort of influence what I was doing next. It was definitely a phase. (laughs)

CL: But you have records about being a ‘Brooklyn Baby’. You can write about New York adeptly and I cannot. I tried to write a song about a tragic girl in New York, going down Bleecker Street – this girl couldn’t afford Bleecker Street, so the song made no sense, right? (laughs) I did my time there, but it chased me away. I couldn’t do it because I wouldn’t go solo. I had to have a band.

LDR: I wanted a band so badly. I feel like I wouldn’t have had some of the stage fright I had when I started playing bigger shows if (I had) a real group and we were in it together. I really wanted that camaraderie. I actually didn’t even find that until a couple of years ago, I would say. I’ve been with my band for six years and they’re great, but I wished I had people – I fantasised about Laurel Canyon.

CL: I wanted the camaraderie. The alternative bands in my neighbourhood were the (Red Hot Chili) Peppers and Jane’s (Addiction). I knew Perry (Farrell, Jane’s Addiction frontman) and I went to high school for, like, ten seconds with two Peppers and a guy named Romeo Blue who became Lenny Kravitz. I remember being an extra in a Ramones video and he stopped by, when he was dating Lisa Bonet from The Cosby Show and it was a big deal.

LDR: See? You didn’t really see that in New York. When I got there, The Strokes had had a moment, but that was kind of it. LA has always been the epicentre of music, I feel.

CL: LA is easier. People have garages. And then as you go up the coast, in Washington and Oregon people have bigger houses and bigger garages, and people have parents. I didn’t have parents, and you – well, you had parents, but you were on your own.

LDR: Yeah. You know that song of yours (‘Awful’) that says, ‘(Just shut up,) you’re only 16’? I think there are different types of people. There are people who heard, ‘What do you know? You’re just a kid,’ and then there are people who got a lot of support (from the line), like, ‘Go for it, go for your dreams.’ (laughs) And I think when you don’t have that, you get kind of stuck at a certain age. Randomly, in the last few years, I feel like I’ve grown up. Maybe I’ve just had time to think about everything, process everything. I’ve gotten to move on and think about how it feels now, singing songs I wrote ten years ago. It does feel different. I was almost reliving those feelings on stage until recently. It’s weird listening back to my stuff. Today, I was watching some of your old videos and this footage of you playing a big festival. The crowd was just girls – just young girls for rows and rows. I was reminded of how vast that influence was on teenagers. And – going back to enigma and fame and legacy – you know, those girls who have grown up and girls who are 16 now, they relate to you in the exact same way as they did right when you started. And that’s the power of your craft. You’re one of my favourite writers.

CL: You’re one of mine, so, checkmate. (laughs)

LDR: What you did was the epitome of cool. And there’s a lot of different music going on, but adolescents still know when something comes authentically from somebody’s heart. It might not be the song that sells the most, but when people hear it, they know it. Are you a John Lennon fan?

CL: When I hear ‘Working Class Hero’, it’s a song I wish to God I could write. I wouldn’t ever cover it. I mean, Marianne Faithfull covered it beautifully, but I would never cover it because I think Marianne did a great job and that’s all that needs to be said.

LDR: I felt that way when I covered ‘Chelsea Hotel (#2)’, the Leonard Cohen song, but when I was doing more acoustic shows, I couldn’t not do it.

CL: I don’t have your range. I’ve tried to sing along to ‘Brooklyn Baby’ and ‘Dark Paradise’ and this new one, ‘Love’. You go high, baby.

LDR: I’ve got some good low ones for you. You know what would be good, is that song, ‘Ride’. I don’t sing it in its right octave during the shows because it’s too low for me. But I’ve been thinking about doing something with you for a little while now. Then after we did the Endless Summer tour, we were thinking we should at least write, or we should just do whatever and maybe you could come down to the studio and just see what came out.

CL: When we were on tour, our pre-show chats were very productive for me.

LDR: Me too. That was a real moment of me counting my blessings. I just wanted to stay in every single moment and remember all of it, because it was so amazing.

CL: Likewise. It was really fun coming into your room. My favourite part of the tour was in Portland, getting you vinyl that I felt you needed. (laughs)

LDR: When you left the room, I was just running my hand over all the vinyl like little gems, like, ‘I can’t believe I have these (records) that Courtney gave to me, it’s so fucking amazing.’ And we were in Portland, too. It felt surreal.

CL: Yeah, I don’t like going there much but I went there with you. We have this in common, too: we both ran away to Britain. If I could live anywhere in the world, I’d live in London.

LDR: If I could live anywhere in the world other than LA, I’d live in London. In the back of my mind, I always feel like I could maybe end up there.

CL: I know I’m going to end up there. I know what neighbourhood I’m going to end up in, and I know that I want to be on the Thames. I subscribe to this magazine called Country Life which is just real-estate porn and fox hunting. It’s amazing. OK, so, if you weren’t doing you, what would you do?

LDR: You take ‘red’. I’ll trade for ‘whore’. I’m so lucky.

CL: I love this new song (‘Love’).

LDR: Thank you. I love the new song, too. I’m glad it’s the first thing out. It doesn’t sound that retro, but I was listening to a lot of Shangri-Las and wanted to go back to a bigger, more mid-tempo, single-y sound. The last 16 months, things were kind of crazy in the US, and in London when I was there. I was just feeling like I wanted a song that made me feel a little more positive when I sang it. And there’s an album that’s gonna come out in the spring called Lust for Life. I did something I haven’t ever done, which is not that big of a deal, but I have a couple of collabs on this record. Speaking of John Lennon, I have a song with Sean Lennon. Do you know him?

CL: I do, I like him.

LDR: It’s called ‘Tomorrow Never Came’. I don’t know if you’ve ever felt this way, but when I wrote it I felt like it wasn’t really for me. I kept on thinking about who this song was for or who could do it with me, and then I realised that he would be a good person. I didn’t know if I should ask him because I actually have a line in it where I say, ‘I wish we could go back to your country house and put on the radio and listen to our favourite song by Lennon and Yoko.’ I didn’t want him to think I was asking him because I was namechecking them. Actually, I had listened to his records over the years and I did think it was his vibe, so I played it for him and he liked it. He rewrote his verse and had extensive notes, down to the mix. And that was the last thing I did, decision-wise. I haven’t mixed the record, but the fact that ‘Love’ just came out and Sean kind of finished up the record, it felt very meant-to-be. Because that whole concept of peace and love really is in his veins and in his family. Then, I also have Abel (Tesfaye), The Weeknd. He is actually on the title track of the record, ‘Lust for Life’. Maybe that’s kind of weird to have a feature on the title track, but I really love that song and we had said for a while that we were gonna do something; I did stuff on his last two records.

CL: Do you have a singular producer or several producers?

LDR: Rick Nowels. He actually did stuff with Stevie Nicks a while ago. He works really well with women. I did the last few records with him. Even with Ultraviolence which I did with Dan (Auerbach), I did the record first with Rick, and then I went to Nashville and reworked the sound with Dan. So, yeah, Rick Nowels is amazing, and these two engineers – with all the records that I’ve worked on with Rick, they did a lot of the production as well. You would love these two guys. They’re just super-innovative. I wanted a bit of a sci-fi f lair for some of the stuff and they had some really cool production ideas. But yeah, that’s pretty much it. I mean, Max Martin –

CL: Wait, you wrote with Max Martin? You went to the compound?

LDR: Have you been there?

CL: No. I’ve always wanted to work with Max Martin.

LDR: So basically, ‘Lust for Life’ was the first song I wrote for the record, but it was kind of a Rubik’s Cube. I felt like it was a big song but... it wasn’t right. I don’t usually go back and re-edit things that much, because the songs end up sort of being what they are, but this one song I kept going back to. I really liked the title. I liked the verse. John Janick was like, ‘Why don’t we just go over and see what Max Martin thinks?’ So, I flew to Sweden and showed him the song. He said that he felt really strongly that the best part was the verse and that he wanted to hear it more than once, so I should think about making it the chorus. So I went back to Rick Nowels’ place the next day and I was like, ‘Let’s try and make the verse the chorus,’ and we did, and it sounded perfect. That’s when I felt like I really wanted to hear Abel sing the chorus, so he came down and rewrote a little bit of it. But then I was feeling like it was missing a little bit of the Shangri-Las element, so I went back for a fourth time and layered it up with harmonies. Now I’m finally happy with it. (laughs) But we should do something. Like, soon.

CL: I would like that. That would be awesome.

Lust for Life is out this spring.

[lovinnscarletknight]

Billionaire - Part Six

Hey guys! Sorry I’m a day late again... I went out last night and by the time i got back I was just too tired. Anyway, fun fact, I also decided to break my tooth today by biting on a ice cube for the first time ever, would not recommend. I digress, onto PART SIX!!!!!

-------------------------------------------------------------

It had been a couple of weeks since Wanda and Katherine spoke in her room and the scars on Katherine’s arms had only grown. They were now midway up her forearms and looked more like nasty burns than small cuts. Katherine thought they were disgusting and even went as far to buy as many long-sleeved shirts as she has t shirts; she wasn’t risking anyone else finding out. It had been getting harder to hide since it was starting to get hotter and people were going to start questioning her outfit choices. Luckily, she was out of her boot and was walking properly again, but obviously things weren’t going to be as normal as she hoped them to be. Pulling her Midtown sweater over her hands she left her room for dinner with her father and team.

Her feet were covered by a pair of white socks helping her slip quietly into her chair next to Steve. Tony noticed his daughter’s off mood due to her lack of makeup and her hair carelessly shoved into a ponytail. She served herself some vegetables and chicken before waiting for everyone else to eat; this was natural behaviour for her, something her mother taught her as it was polite. Tony caught Katherine’s eye and she sent him a smile, but not a usual goofy one that he loved so dearly. Dinner was quiet apart from comments from Vision and Sam who tried to start conversations, it was never this awkward and everyone knew something was up, but they didn’t dare ask.  

“May I be excused? I have a chem paper due tomorrow and I still have work to do on it?” Katherine spoke for the first time at the table, all eyes on her father waiting for his approval. Katherine didn’t like feeling this exposed around people she trusted but with the never-ending burning of the scars, she couldn’t risk anything. Millions of thoughts ran around Tony’s head as what was up with his daughter, was it her time of the month? No, he’s been told a million times by Natasha never to ask that question. Was everything alright at school? When he met his daughters questioning eyes he nodded quickly.

“Of course, honey. I’ll bring you some ice cream in a bit if you like?” He asked Katherine as she stood pushing her chair in and picking up her plate. “It’s ok, not really in the mood” She spoke leaving the dining room. Tony watched his daughter disappear around the corner and he put his fork down, his hunger disappearing. He stood from the table leaving to his lab without a word and Pepper’s concerned eyes following.

Katherine had kept her big lamp on rather than her main light, that way it was darker, and she didn’t have to see the ugly covering her arms. The teenager had been struggling with balancing school, family and this unknown source of power she has acquired; this meant that she had become very distant from her friends and they didn’t even send her a message to see if she was ok. As she scribbled the last chemical formula down, she shut the paper and sat on her window seat looking down on New York. Katherine always thought about what it would be like to live in an apartment building like some of her friends, like what it would be like to not have parts of your life shown to the world. But she would never know that life.

She brought her hands up and electricity danced around her finger tips delicately causing the scars to travel further up her arm. Katherine was so fascinated by her new-found power; the pain had turned into a dull ache. Her eyes caught the sight of a slightly damaged envelope waiting by her feet. She hadn’t written to Tom in weeks, she kept putting off writing her brother because she knew she couldn’t lie to him. The paper felt foreign in her fingertips as she opened the letter addressed to Katherine Stark.

Kathy,

Dad wrote to me explaining what happened. I wish I was at home with you making sure you get better rather than out here. I started to worry when I didn’t get your usual letter but don’t worry, take your time getting better, I’ll wait.

Sargent says there is a possibility I’ll be able to come home for a couple of days in December, which I know is a while away yet, but I know you told me to tell you if anything changes. Remember Sarah? The women I told you about in my last letter? Well we went on a date, well not really a date more us both sitting together in the lunch room at our own table. I think you’ll really like her, she reminds me of Mom a little bit, maybe Dad will approve too? She’s a medic here and I’m not going to go into details, but I got injured, I’m 100% fine don’t worry, but I said one of those cringey pickup lines and now she loves me. What can I say, I’m just like Dad in that way?

The next video chat slot for me would be on the 2 November which is a few weeks from now, so I’ll call you on the big screen and I’ll finally get to see if you’ve grown (although I highly doubt it). Not much has happened in the past weeks so I’ll wait for you to write me back.

Love you always,

Tom.

The girls smile stayed small on her face as she held the letter close to her. She was happy her brother had found someone to make him happy, and of course if he liked her, Katherine would too. A knock on her door disturbed her from her thoughts and she quietly let them know they could come in. Steve knew that Katherine would be angry at Wanda, possibly raging angry but he had to offer his help, he promised Wanda he wouldn’t tell anyone and for all the years he had known the youngest Stark, he could never hurt her.

“Wanda said you wanted to talk to me?” He cursed himself for not just being honest. This very sentence made Katherine’s heart race at a hundred miles per hour, how was she meant to tell him, did she want to tell him at all? She turned to face Steve who was sat on the edge of her bed.

“I’m scared” She whispered her emerald eyes holding back tears as a lump rose in her throat, she decided she trusted Steve more than any of the others because he had proved it. Every year on the anniversary of her mother’s death, Steve would take her to the cemetery. It was something Thomas asked Steve to do before he left for the army since Tony could never bring himself to go. And every year, Steve would hold the girl when she cried, and he would take her out for a milkshake at a diner she used to go to when she was younger. Steve was pretty much a brother to Katherine, and she was thankful to have him. Steve’s brows furrowed, and he took her small hands in his.

“Of what Kath? What’s going on?” She sniffled before staring deep into his eyes. “You must promise me you won’t tell a soul until I’m ready for other people to know ok?” He nodded slowly and sat back as Katherine pulled her hands away. She knew it was a bad idea and she was frightened of what would happen, but she also knew she had to show someone what was happening to her. The soft blue material of her sweatshirt was pulled up revealing the burn marks. Steve’s eyes widened, and he gently took hold of her arms. A shiver ran through her arms and she ground her teeth together and electric sparks swarmed her fingertips.

“I can’t control it. Wanda says she is going to help me but every time it happens, these burns grow. Steve, what if they don’t stop? What if they cover me and I’ll be ugly?” She told him yanking her sleeves down suddenly feeling exposed. He was still in shock as he saw you bring you knees to your chest and tears left the teenagers eyes yet again.

“You will never be ugly, if anything, it makes you more beautiful. The only way we can find out what is going on is if we ask Bruce or possibly Tony for help, okay? I know it’s hard telling people, but I don’t want you being in pain. I can schedule you in for training with Wanda, but I’ll just put it in as private training, so nobody can watch” The girl jumped up wrapping her arms around the very tall super solider. She mumbled a million thanks as she cried into his shoulder, his arms wrapping protectively around the young girl, “It’s just so hard keeping this from people. Even my friends haven’t noticed something is off” She told him pulling away and composing herself.

“Then you must be doing something right. You don’t want other people to know remember? Now get some sleep, your dad will want to talk to you about all this” Katherine nodded before he left the room. She grabbed a pen and paper and started writing to Thomas.

***

“11 Wakandans were among those killed during a confrontation between the Avengers and a group of mercenaries in Lagos, Nigeria last month. The traditionally reclusive Wakandans were on an outreach mission in Lagos when the attack occurred. What legal authority does an enhanced individual like Wanda Maximoff have to operate in Nigeri” Katherine quickly shut the news off as Wanda came into the room, her face showing no emotion and Steve at her side.

“Training will start after the meeting with the Secretary” She wished them luck and was left alone in the living room. Pulling her phone from her pocket, she saw Peter had sent her a link to a chemistry revision site and she laughed to herself. Earlier in the day, the two teens had been talking about what they do in their spare time and apparently Peter just revises, so he sent her the link and said it would be very helpful; she quickly messaged back thanks. Katherine and Peter had grown closer ever since the day he helped her out of school, Peter was excited when they first started messaging and he has recently been sitting with her at lunch too due to her friends not really realising she is still there. Katherine sharply turned her head as she heard the door slam and Wanda appear, “Ready?”

Katherine felt very uncomfortable in her training uniform as it consisted of a sports bra and leggings, her arms on full display for the world to see, and possibly even her father. The elastic of the clothing was irritating against her laceration scars on her torso, which she hated. Everyone here had already seen them since them but that didn’t make the voices in her head any less horrible. Wanda was stood opposite her with her hands out in front of her, “Okay, first I want you to show me what you can do” She nodded before stretching her arms out and watching small electric sparks dance around her fingertips, the grow of the burns being more ticklish than painful, “Ok now I want you to project it around you like a bubble, imagine what colour it would be, how it would look to others” Katherine imagined it to be transparent but blue streaks of electricity swarmed around, as she opened her eyes, she saw fiery balls of sparking electricity in her palms. Wanda smiled slightly but the peaceful moment was ruined. A painful scream escaped Katherine’s lips as she felt the burns grow; they dug deep and felt like someone was dragging blade up her arms, stopping at her shoulders. Katherine dropped to her knees crying in agony as her skin felt like it was on fire Wanda automatically called for Steve as she carried her to a bench sitting her down. Blood trickled down Katherine’s arms as Steve came rushing in holding a med kit.

“What happened?” He demanded as he held a cloth to the bleeding scars, it wasn’t too heavy but extremely painful. “I think the scars have reached their limit, they are like lightning bolts, more burn marks that will heal but obviously she’ll have the lines. I think she can fully commit to her power now. It was extraordinary” Wanda spoke as the wounds stopped bleeding on Katherine’s arms. Steve’s worried eyes searched for any pain in the teenager’s face but before he could speak she stood and was speaking to Wanda. “Again. I’m fixing this now and once we get this out the way training can start right?” Without a word Wanda stood and watched the young girl breathe deeply and start the process again.

Katherine was exhausted when her training had ended. She had had fourteen training sessions now and was loving it however she wanted nothing more than to wrap herself in her blankets on her bed and sleep; but that wasn’t happening tonight. Katherine’s door was flung open and in came Steve Rogers, he looked tired and his eyes were red. “Steve? What’s the matter?” He closed her door before he flicked on her lamp and sat in the chair next to her desk.

“Peggy” His only word echoed in the deadly silent room and the girl’s chest felt heavy. Katherine had known about Peggy and Steve since she was old enough to understand what people were saying and she knew how much she meant to the man she considered family.

“Steve” She started but instead just got up and hugged the broken man. Steve always thought of Katherine as a younger sister and he was so protective of her it was unbelievable. Tony heavily approved of their relationship but it normally turned to jealousy when he realised his daughter would go to Steve to talk about her problems and not her father. He was aware he wasn’t the number one father in the world, but he couldn’t wait for the day she came to him instead of Steve. Steve broke the hug first by sitting the girl opposite him on her bed. “I need your help. It is going to be a secret from Tony and he can’t know because I could get arrested.” The mention of a possible arrest made her eyes widen but somehow, she was intrigued more. “What exactly are you doing?”

“I’m finding Bucky”

TAG LIST -

@supernaturallover2002 @savedbystark @editsbyjenny @seriouslyobsessed

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[wacco-archive]

Full Transcription: Lana and Courtney Dazed Interview

LDR: So, we could talk just talk about whatever...like those burning palm trees that you had in the 'Malibu' video. I didn't think they were real!

CL: Back when rock'n'roll has a budget, you mean? oh my God, Lana, setting palm trees on fire was so fun. You thought they were CGI?

LDR: Yeah.

CL: God you're so young. I burned down palm trees. In my day darling you used to have to walk to school in the snow. So since I toured with you I kind of got obsessed and went down this Lana rabbit hole and became - not like I'm wearing a flower crown, Lana don't get me wrong - but I absolutely love it. I love it as much as I love PJ Harvey.

LDR: That's amazing because maybe it's slightly well documented but I love everything you do, everything you have done - I couldn't believe that you came on tour with me.

CL: I read that you spend a lot of time mastering and mixing - is this true on the new record? LDR: Oh my god yeah, it's killing me. It's because I spend so much time with the engineers working on the reverb. I actually don't love a glossy production. If I want a bit of that retro feel, like that spring reverb or that Elvis slap, sometimes if you send it to an outside mixer they might try and dry things up a bit and push them really hard on top of the mix so it sounds really pop. And Born to Die did have a slickness to it but in general I have an aversion to things that sound glossy all over - you have to pick and choose. And some people say 'it's not radio ready if it isn't super shiny from top to bottom'. But you know this. Whoever mixed your stuff is a genius. Who did it? CL: Chris Lord-Alge and Tom Lord-Alge. Kurt was really big on mastering. He sat in every mastering session like a fiend. I never was big on mastering because it's such a pain in the butt.

LDR: It is a pain in the ass.

CL: I think my very very favourite song of yours - you're not gonna like this because it's early - is 'Blue Jeans'. I mean 'You're so fresh to death and sick as ca-cancer?' Who does that? LDR: I have to say that track has this guy (Del Rey Collaborater) Emile Haynie all over it. I remember 'Blue Jeans' was more of a Chris Isaak ballad and then I went in with him and it came out sounding the way it does now. I was like 'that's the power of production.' The song was in the radio in the UK on Radio 1 and I remember thinking 'F*ck, that started off as a classical composition riff that I got from my composer friend Dan Heath.' It was like six chords that I started singing on.

CL: You have that lyric 'You were sorta punk rock, I grew up on hip-hop.' DId you really grow up on hip-hop?

LDR: I didn't find any good music until I was right out of high school, coming from the north country, we got country, we got NPR and we got MTV. So Eminem was my version of hip-hop until I was 18. Then mayb I found A Tribe Called Quest.

CL: Have you met Marshall Mathers? LDR: No. Sometimes he namechecks me in his songs. I called the head of my label (Interscope CEO) John Janick and I was like 'OK in this last song (Big Sean's "No Favors") when Eminem says 'I'm about to run over a chick, Del Rey CD in". Did he mean he wanted to run me over or was he listening to me while he ran someone over?'. And John was like, 'No, no he was listening to you while he ran someone over' and I was 'Ok, cool.'

CL: You got namechecked by Eminem? oh my god that is a jewel in the crown.

LDR: Just a little ruby.

CL: Yeah, it's not really a diamond, but it's a ruby.

LDR: Not like touring with Courtney Love. That's like an Elizabeth Taylor diamond.

CL: You know, I met Elizabeth Taylor. I was with Carrie FIsher at Taylor's easter party and she was taking six hours to come downstairs.

LDR: I love it.

CL: I looked at Carrie and said 'This is not worth it,' and Carrie said, 'Oh yes it is.'  So we snuck upstairs and, Lana, when you go past the Warhol of Elizabeth Taylor as you're sneaking up the stairs and it says '001' you start getting goosebumps. And then you see her room and it's all lavender like her eyes. And she's in the bathroom getting her hair done by this guy named Jose Eber who wears a cowboy hat and has long hair and I'm like 'What am I doing here? I'm not Hollywood royalty. And the first words out of her mouth are like, 'F*ck you, Carrie, how ya doin'?' She was so salty but such a goddess at the same time.

LDR: She was so salty. The fact that she married Richard Burton twice - and all the stories you heart about those famous, crazy, public brawls - she was just up for it. Up for the trouble.

CL: So back to you. What I hear in your music is that you've created a world, you've created a persona, and you've created this kind of enigma that I never created but if I could so back I would create.

LDR: Are you even being serious right now? I don't even know if your legacy could get any bigger. You're one of the only people I know whose legacy precedes them. Just the name Courtney Love is...You're big honey. You're Hollywood (laughs).

CL: You know what darling? I started real early. I started stalking Andy Warhol before I could even think about it. And you kind of did the same, from my understanding. That 'I want to make it' thing. And there's nothing wrong with that.

LDR: No. there's not. There's nothing wrong with it when you do it for the right reasons. If music is really in your blood and you don't want to do anything else and you dont really care about the money until later. It's also about the vibe, not tobe cliched. And the people. I think we had that in common. It was about wanting to go to shows, wanting to have your own show - living, breathing, eating, all of it.

CL: Can I ask you about your time in New York? Was that a soul searching time? LDR: Oh I don't even know if I should have said to anyone that I was living in a trailer in New Jersey but stupidly, I did this interview from the trailer, in 2008.

CL: I saw it! LDR: It's cringey, it's cringey (laughs).

CL: You look so cute though.

LDR: I thought I was a rockabilly. I was platinum. I thought I had made it in my own way.

CL: I understand completely.

LDR: The one thing I wish I'd done was go to LA instead of New York. I had been playing around for maybe 4 years, just open mics, and I got a contract with this indie label called 5 Points Records in 2007. They gave me 10,000 dollars & I found this trailer in New Jersey, across the Hudson-Begren Light Rail. So I moved there, I finished school and I made that record (LDR AKA Lizzy Grant) which was shelved for 2 and a half years and then came out for like 3 months. But I was proud of myself. I felt like I had arrived, in my own way. I had my own thought and it was kind of kitschy and I knew it was going to sort of influence what I was doing next. It was definitely a phase (laughs).

CL: But you have records about being a Brooklyn Baby. You can write about New York adeptly and I cannot. I tried to write a song about a tragic girl in New York going down Bleecker Street - this girl couldn't afford Bleecker Street so the song made no sense, right? (laughs) I did my time there, but it chased me away. I couldn't do it because I wouldn't go solo, I had to have a band.

LDR: I wanted a band so badly. I feel I wouldn't have had some of the stage fright I had when I started playing bigger shows if I had a real group and we were in it together. I really wanted that camaraderie. I actually didn't even find that until a couple of years ago, I would say. I've been with my band for 6 years and they're great, but I wished I had people - I fantasised about Laurel Canyon.

CL: I wanted the camraderie. The alternative bands in my neighborhood were the Red Hot Chilli Peppers and Jane's Addiction. I knew Perry (Farrel, Janes Addiction) and I went to high school for like, ten seconds with two Peppers and a guy named Romeo Blue who became Lenny Kravitz. I remember being an extra in a Ramones video and he stopped by, when he was dating Lisa Bonet from The Cosby Show and it was a big deal.

LDR: See? You didn't really see that in New York.  When I got there, The Strokes had had a moment, but that was kind of it. LA had always been the epicentre of music, I feel.

CL: LA is easier. People have garages. And then as you go up the coast, in Washington and Oregon people have bigger houses and bigger garages and people have parents. I didn't have parents. and well, you had parents, but you were on your own.

LDR: Yeah. You know that song of yours (Awful) that says, '(Just shut up) you're only 16'? I think there are different types of people. There are people who head 'What do you know, you're just a kid?' and then there are people who got a lot of support (from the line) like 'Go for it, go for your dreams.' (laughs) And I think, when you don't have that, you get kind of stuck at a certain age. Randomly, in the last few years, I feel like I've grown up. Maybe I've just had time to think about everything. I've gotten to move on and think about how it feels now, singing songs I wrote ten years ago. It does feel different. I was almost reliving those feelings on stage until recently. It's weird listening back to my stuff. Today I was watching some of your old videos and the footage of you playing a big festival. The crowd was just girls - just young girls, for rows and rows. I was reminded of how vast that influence was on teenagers. And - going back to enigma and fame and legacy - you know, those girls who have grown up and girls who are 16 now, they relate to you in the exact same way as they did right when you started. And that's the power of your craft. You're one of my favourite writers.

CL: You're one of mine, so, checkmate (laughs).

LDR: What you did was the epitome of cool. And there's lots of different music going on but adolescents still know when something comes authentically from somebody's heart. It might not be the song that sells the most, but when people hear it, they know it. Are you a John Lennon fan? CL: When I hear 'Working Class Hero' it's a song I wish to God I could write. I wouldn't ever cover it. I mean, Marianne Faithfull covered it beautifully, but I would never cover it because I think Marianne did a great job and that's all that needs to be said.

LDR: I felt that way when I covered Chelsea Hotel No2, the Leonard Cohen song, but when I was doing more acoustic shows, I couldn't not do it.

CL: I don't have your range. I've tried to sing along to Brooklyn Baby and Dark Paradise, and this new one, Love. You go high, baby.

LDR: I've got some good low ones for you. You know what would be good, is that song, Ride. I don't sing it in its right octave during the shows because it's two low for me. But I've been thinking about doing something with you for a little while now. Then after we did the Endless Summer tour, we were thinking we should at least write, or we should just do whatever and maybe you could come to the studio and just see what came out.

CL: When we were on tour, our pre-show chats were very productive for me.

LDR: Me too. That was a real moment of counting my blessings. I just wanted to stay in every single moment and remember all of it, because it was so amazing.

CL: Likewise. It was really fun coming into your room. My favourite part of the tour was in Portland, getting you vinyl that I felt you needed. (laughs)

LDR: When you left the room, I was just running my hand all over the vinyl like little gems, like 'I can't believe that I have these (records) that Courtney Love gave to me, it's so f*cking amazing.' And we were in Portland too. It felt surreal.

CL: Yeah, I don't like going there much but I went there with you. We have this in common, too: we both ran away to Britain. If I could live anywhere in the world, I'd live in London.

LDR: If I could live anywhere in the world other than LA, I'd live in London. In the back of my mind, I always feel like I could maybe end up there.

CL: I know I'm going to end up there. I know what neighborhood I'm going to end up in, and I know that I want to be on the Thames. I subscribe to this magazine called 'Country Life' which is just real estate porn and fox hunting. It's amazing. OK so, if you weren't doing you, what would you do?

LDR: Do you have a really clear answer for this, yourself? CL: Yeah, I would work with teenage girls. Girls that are in halfway houses.

LDR: That's got you all over it. I'm selfish. I would do something that would put me by the beach. I would be like, a bad lifeguard (laughs). I'd come help you on the weekends though.

CL: Do you like being in Malibu better than being in town? LDR: I like the idea of it. People don't always go out to visit you in Malibu. So there's a lot of alone time, which is kind of like, hmmm. I'm not in (indie rock enclave) Silver Lake but I love all the stuff that's going on around there. I guess I'd have to say I prefer town, but I've got my half time Malibu fantasy.

CL: The only bad thing that can happen in Malibu really is getting on Etsy and overspending.

LDR: Oh my God, woman...(laughs) Tell me about it. Late night sleepless Etsy binges.

CL: Regretsy binges. Ok, so lyrically, you have some tropes and themes and one of them is the colour red. Red dresses, scarlet, nail polish...I kind of want to steal that.

LDR: You need to take over that, because I think I've got to relinquish the red.

CL: Well, I overuse the word "wh*re".

LDR: You take red, I'll trade for wh*re. I'm so lucky.

CL: I love this new song (Love).

LDR: Thank you. I love the new song too. I'm glad it's the first thing out. It doesn't sound that retro, but I was listening to a lot of Shangri-Las and wanted to go back to a bigger more mid-tempo, single-y sound. The last 16 months, things were kind of crazy in the US, and in London, when I was there. I was just feeling like I wanted a song that made me feel a little more positive when I sang it. And there's an album that's gonna come out in the spring called Lust for Life. I did something I haven't ever done, which is not that big of a deal, but I have a couple of collabs. Speaking of John Lennon, I have a song with Sean Lennon. Do you know him? CL: I do. I like him

LDR: It's called Tomorrow Never Came. I don't know if you've ever felt this way, but when I wrote it I felt like it wasn't really for me. I kept on thinking about who this song was for or who could do it with me and then I realised that he would be a good person. I didn't know if I should ask him because actually I have a line in it where I say "I wish we could go back to your country house and put on the radio and listen to our favourite song by Lennon and Yoko". I didn't want him to think I was asking him because I was namechecking them. Actually, I had listened to his records over the years and I did think it was his vibe, so I played it for him and he liked it. He rewrote his verse and had extensive notes, down to the mix. And that was the last thing I did, decision wise. I haven't mixed the record, but that fact that Love just came out and Sean kind of finished up the record, it felt very meant to be. Because that whole concept of peace and love really is in his veins and in his family. Then I also have Abel (Tesfaye), the Weeknd. He is actually on the title track of the record, Lust for Life. Maybe that's kind of weird to have a feature on the title track, but I really love that song and we had said for a while that we where gonna do something; I did stuff on his last two records.

CL: Do you have a singular producer or several producers?

LDR: Rick Nowels. He actually did stuff with Stevie Nicks a while ago. He works really well with women. I did the last few records with him. Even with Ultraviolence, which I did with Dan (Auerbach) I did the record first with Nick, and then I went to Nashville and reworked the sound with Dan. So yeah, Rick Nowels is amazing and these two engineers - with all the records that I've worked on with Rick, they did a lot of the production as well. You would love these two guys. They're just super innovative. I wanted a bit of a sci-fi flair for some of the stuff and they had some really cool production ideas. But yeah, that's pretty much it. I mean, Max Martin -

CL: Wait, you wrote with Max Martin? You went to the compound?

LDR: Have you been there? CL: No. I've always wanted to work with Max Martin.

LDR: So basically, Lust for Life was the first song that I wrote for the record but it was kind of like a Rubik's Cube. I felt like it was a big song but....it wasn't right. I don't usually do back and re-edit things that musch, because the songs end up sort of being what they are, but this one song I kept going back to. I really liked the title. I liked the verse. John Janick was like, 'Why don't we just go over and see what Max Martin thinks?' So I flew to Sweden and showed him the song. He said that he felt really strongly that the best part was the verse and that he wanted to hear it more than once, so I should think about making it the chorus. So I went back to Rick Nowels place the next day and I was like, 'Let's try and make the verse the chorus' and we did, and it sounded perfect. That's when I felt like I really wanted to hear Abel sing the chorus, so he came down and rewrote a little bit of it. But then I was feeling like it was missing a little bit of the Shangri-La element, so I went back for a fourth time and layered it up with harmonies. Now I'm finally happy with it (laughs). But we should do something. Like, soon.

CL: I would like that. That would be awesome.

Lust for Life is out this spring.