#also thank you for the well-wishing! I am feeling much better today :> got some good rest and hopefully am on the path to recovery

[sincerely-sofie]

Ruby anon again! I hope you’re doing well, Sophie! I don’t have any notes, but I do want to share some fun facts:

• Ruby bounced around so many other Pokémon species before I settled on Zorua. The list includes: pichu, Espurr, Gligar, torchic, Teddiursa, Piplup, shinx, budew, Bounsweet, Gible, Deino, Fennekin, Flabébé, Rockruff, Hatenna, and Sprigatito.

• Originally, her abusers were her parents and Ruby was the one survivor of the siblings that were abandoned in the dungeon by the time Twig got there. Then I looked at the idea and said “. . . That seems like a little bit too much”. Afterwards, there were other iterations with the abusers being an aunt and uncle, cousins, or some strangers that took her from her family. There’s more but I forgot the others. Eventually I settled on the abusers being older siblings.

• There was another idea that the siblings actually cornered Opal to force her to tell them where Ruby was and trying to attack her when she refused. I didn’t like the idea and also I feel like if this happened Twig (and maybe Ark) would have committed murder on sight.

• For a brief period of time, the siblings had “names” — but they were really just silly, uncreative names to refer to them by because I had no respect for them. I called the brother “Yeet” and the sister “Delete” (I will use these names to reference them, but please do not keep these as their official names I beg of you-)

• There was an idea that Ruby usually hid around Twig’s house because Yeet and Delete were afraid of Twig. I scratched this because I felt it was better that the two didn’t know exactly who Twig was. Additionally, they also had a strong hatred for Ark. I don’t remember the reason for this.

• Before I came up with the name Ruby, I called her “Dove” — like the peace bird.

Oh my word... All of this is amazing but Dove... Precious little baby Dove... Oauouaogh...

[amazinglyashy]

hi! First of all - i love the way u write omg😭 i basically went through all your posts last evening and today hahah (procrastinating at it’s finest😌) Second - i wanna request a prompt, but i dunno if it’s too close to the one where ‘reader tells the lads boys that she’s too heavy for them’? if so, just ignore this!🫡💗

If not - could you write something about the boys finding out that reader/mc used to have bulimia(/or unspecified ed) and that she’s quietly struggling again, but not telling them? Maybe something angsty/comforting?

Trigger warning - This involves talk about eating disorders. Please use discretion when reading! Oh my gosh, thank you so much!! That means so much, because I used to write a lot years ago but stopped for a long time. I only got back into it recently, so the love I've been receiving has really done a positive number to my confidence. Thank you, lovely <3 I don't think it's possible for me to NOT write this request, because I'm a long time ED sufferer, and I am currently experiencing a harsh relapse unfortunately... You read me like a book, because 'Too Heavy' was a direct reference to that. It's hard, because it's such an invisible problem that oftentimes you suffer alone. Thank you for the request, hopefully I did it some justice, and for you or anyone who may relate to this post. (Also wrote this while listening to Lullaby - Jhameel on repeat. Give it a listen!)

Love and Deepspace Li's find out about your ED (and your current struggle)

Zayne -

The moment he finds out you live with an ED, he's down at the library finding any books he can, and researching as much as possible throughout the hospital and his old college's database.

He's also finding patient testimonials that have been released, so he can find the most compassionate approach that would help you without causing you any more harm than you already are experiencing at the hands of your own mind.

"I found a new restaurant I want to try. Apparently, they make a certain dish really well, I think we should try it together while we go over the latest mission you wished to tell me about."

He knows what you like, so it makes it easy for him to order things to share together places and ensure you're eating.

He will go out to eat every single day if he needs to, that's not any issue to him. Neither is sharing foods or cooking meals that he knows you love, even if they're not particularly his favorite.

He tries not to talk to you much about it, but does his best to be encouraging and nothing more whenever the subject of professional help comes up.

When you start opening up even more to him, he's all ears, and he's exceedingly careful about his choices of words, like he always is, but even more so now. The last thing he wants is to speak a trigger, especially when he's so focused on helping you get better.

He knows it never truly goes away, your disorder. But that's not an issue. It's more... a fact of being with you. And just like you take his problems and disabilities, he will take every single one of yours as well.

In stride, and with love.

Xavier -

He caught on, mostly because he found it strange that one moment you had eaten every single snack in the cupboard, and the next he heard, you hadn't eaten anything all day. He was wondering if it was something he was just unaware of, but-

Quickly finds out what exactly is going on after a few times of this happening. He was worried it was some strange habit, and now he's even more worried finding out it's been something you've been dealing with for quite a while.

He's upset, to say the least. But he'll keep that to himself.

He just wants to help you now.

He'll ask if there's anything that you feel like sharing with him on how to best help you, and there's definitely a note somewhere on his phone with a list of things you told him. If he can do any of them daily, he will. Anything else is always on his mind.

He doesn't let it get in the way of your day to day, though. You still play games together like normal, read together, and go the arcade whenever you both have the opportunity to win some more plushies for your hoards. He's always conscious about his own comments and behavior, but he doesn't ever let it seem like he's keeping an eye on you or trying to supervise you.

The tightrope of trusting you and helping you deal with your disorder is a thin one, and Xavier dances along it with grace.

No matter what, being around him is a comfort. Whether you're having a good day, or a bad day.

Sylus -

He's pretty internally frustrated when he first find out about it, but he doesn't let it show.

It has nothing to do with you or anything you did. He's just used to... having everything under control. For every problem to have a solution solved easily with money, force, or some compassion.

This is something he can't control.

And he hates it.

Aside from that, Sylus is like a light in the dark.

He had a list of trusted professionals to help you, should you want, and multiple of them at that- just in case you don't feel comfortable with the first one or three.

Any food you genuinely like to eat is available at all times, it does not matter if it is three in the morning. Are you wanting it? Nice, it's right there on your plate.

The frequency of which you see him increases, including the twins, despite both situations being... vastly different.

Where he takes you out for dinners at new and gorgeous restaurants, including ones feature in your favorite media or having special events for a game you like- the twins are throwing bags of snacks at you and yelling at you to throw pieces into their mouths and so they can do the same to you.

You will learn Sylus did not ask them to do this, in fact he explicitly told them not to do that.

It's pretty obvious though, they were worried about Sylus. And not just him, but you too.

Probably because of how much Sylus has been concerned about you, even if just in secret.

He doesn't want his feelings to make you feel anything but loved, so prepare for a speech the second you feel any kind of guilty. You're not getting out of this one.

Not until you know how much he cares about you, no matter what.

Rafayel -

The way he treats it is extremely encompassing. The way he sees it, is if you're sad or not doing too hot mentally, it's going to affect every part of your brain, including the parts that make you feel the way you do with your ED.

Driving you somewhere? He's playing upbeat music pounding out of the speakers of his sports car, singing along goofily or making up new words. You haven't eaten in a long time? Too bad, suddenly he's hungry and wants a snack. In fact, he wants a snack every couple of hours. If you binged and feel like dying, he'll be offering you water and any distraction he can to get your mind off of your appearance or the guilt of your binge.

He will spend more of his own free time at the gym if he needs to to work off any extra weight he gains just to help you eat, if eating with him is what helps you and he doesn't want you to see him change and feel guilty over it. He doesn't care.

Constant, constant praise with him. It is not about your appearance, unless it's something you can change. Clothing you picked out, the way your makeup looks today, a hairstyle you did to yourself, etc. So many compliments on your achievements or work, all with a sweet smile across his face.

If it's really bad, he'll paint you gorgeous works in different sizes, that are conveniently perfectly sized to display directly over any mirrors in your apartment.

Whatever you need, he's on it.

He'll be there for you no matter your highs or your lows.

[writingforstraykids]

I owe you a kiss - Pt.7

Pairing: Minchan x femReader

Word Count: 3592

Summary: The more time you spend with them, the more you realize you're not the only one struggling. Chan and you try to sort things out, making sure Minho feels safe at home as well.

Warnings/Tags: fluff, angst, domestic bullshit, sick!whiny!chan, anxious!min, cuddles

A/N: Sooo...I guess there's still some potential for more. If you have any wishes or thoughts, feel free to share them below the post. in an ask, or send me a message🤭🖤

PART SIX | PART EIGHT

You left early this morning to surprise your husbands with breakfast. Chan told you he'd have the next two days off and stay home with you two. Minho was due for a photoshoot tomorrow so it would be only you and Chan. He's still been keeping his distance beside the kisses anywhere but your lips, the long hugs, and the fondling of your hair. Minho has been more openly showing his love and you were thankful for him. You know you'd have to talk to Channie about it but you could tell he was hesitant about pushing you into something. You quietly lock the front door and put the bags down on the table. The shower upstairs is running, which means at least one of them is up, so you start preparing everything. 

Minho joins you downstairs a little later and gives you a loving kiss. “Good morning, honey,” he smiles sweetly. 

“Morning, darling,” you smile into the kiss. “Channie's still sleeping?” you ask. 

“Am I not enough?” he teases lovingly. 

“Minnie,” you giggle, and his hands wander down your sides. 

“He said something about a bad headache,” he tells you and fondles your back soothingly. “I don't know, maybe he's stressed, maybe it's the weather.”

“Oh,” you nod gently. “Did you give him some painkillers?”

“No,” Minho shakes his head, tilting his head at you. “I thought you could. He usually loves cuddling you when he's in pain.”

“I..uh,” you blink at him, watching his face grow soft. 

“Channie and you really need to talk once he's better,” he says and gently caresses your head. “You know he loves you, right?”

“I try to,” you nod, chewing on your lower lip. “I miss him,” you admit quietly, feeling tears burn in your eyes. 

“I know,” Minho pulls you into a warm hug and kisses your head. “It's a bit more difficult for the two of you because he left off when he wasn't feeling much, struggling to tell you he loves you and more. He doesn't want to force himself onto you, scared that he'll hurt you,” he says. “He…he also feels like you need me more at the moment and feel more safe around me.”

“Oh,” you say quietly. 

“I don’t blame any of you, I think you two should just talk, hm?” he suggests. “Now come on, baby, Channie needs you.”

“What about you?” you ask, confused. 

“I have to leave for the shoot in a bit,” he says, seeing your face fall, knowing you must’ve forgotten.

“I thought that’s tomorrow,” you admit, a little embarrassed. “I’m sorry, Min.”

“No, don’t be sorry, honey,” he smiles at you reassuringly. “That only means we can all spend some time together tomorrow. That’s even better now that Channie isn’t feeling so well today,” he tells you. 

You chuckle softly, cupping his face and kissing his forehead. It all feels so easy with Minho, easing out every little thing you forget so smoothly. “Make sure to eat something first, okay? Or at least take something with you.”

“I will,” he promises, unable to hide the soft blush coloring his ears at your gentle gesture. He peeks into the bag on the table, and a wide smile covers his face. “You got some pudding as well?”

“Mhm,” you hum, smiling softly as he takes it out and stares at the package before spinning back around to you. 

“Wait, that’s my new favorite…how would you-?” his eyes widen with excitement as you nod gently.

“Seeing it I had the feeling you love that one,” you nod. “Like not…a specific memory, but I felt weirdly sure about it,” you tell him, heart warming at the way he beams at you happily. 

“I hope you know how great you’re doing,” he says so softly it tugs at your heartstrings. “That first breakthrough was only a week ago, and here you are,” he giggles.

You exhale softly, nodding. “I’m glad because that means there’s an actual chance I’ll start remembering more,” you smile, laughing, surprised as he kisses you fiercely. Minho doesn’t pull away, hands pulling you in as close as he can. Your hand automatically wanders up into his hair, your other resting on his arm as you kiss back. Two steps and your back hits the counter. Minho reaches down, hands wrapping around the back of your thighs, and lifts you up onto the counter effortlessly without breaking the kiss apart. His fingers dig into your thighs as he deepens the kiss with a low hum, and you can tell he has trouble holding himself back. “Minho,” you whisper against his lips. “Min, stop,” you say gently, and he does immediately.

He searches your eyes, a hint of anxiety in the pure need coating his orbs. “Sorry,” he pants softly, reddened lips parted and glistening from the heavy kisses. “I-I should’ve asked first.”

You cup his face, soothingly rubbing his thumbs across his cheeks. “My dear Min,” you say softly. “I’m your wife, and I appreciate you asking, but right now, there’s really no need to,” you assure him, and he visibly relaxes. “You’re gonna be late.”

“Is that all?” he asks mischievously. 

“Min,” you snort.

“Is that the only reason I can’t have you for breakfast instead?” he asks again. 

“Yes, that’s the only reason,” you giggle, gently shoving his chest. “Now fuck off, Min.”

He smirks, gently squeezing your thighs, and takes a step back. “You owe me tons of kisses later,” he announces giddily. 

You laugh, hop back down, and kiss him once more. “Stay safe, okay?”

“I have to,” he says gently. “I really want that kiss,” easing both of your worries hidden beneath this small exchange.

“I’ll go check on Chan now,” you tell him, and he hums agreeingly. 

-

Only a little later, you carefully open the door to your bedroom, trying to close it as quietly as possible. “Channie?” you whisper, and he hums groggily in response. “I brought you some painkillers and water. Do you think you can sit up for a moment?”

Chan groans in response before pushing himself up. He squints at you sleepily, trying to ignore the pulsing pain shooting through his head at sitting up. You sit down at the edge of the bed next to him, handing him the pill. Chan drowsily takes it and lets you bring the glass to his lips, taking a few sips. 

“You’re hungry?” you ask, still keeping your voice barely above a whisper.

“No,” he mumbles, eyes already falling closed again. “Feel sick.”

“Oh, poor baby,” you say softly, and Chan blindly reaches out for you. 

“Stay?” he asks pleadingly.

“If you want me to,” you say gently.

Chan nods before contorting his face. “Ow,” he whines softly, scrunching up his nose adorably. “I think I’m dying.”

You bite back a soft chuckle and climb back into bed, getting comfortable next to him. “Come here, you big baby,” you tell him, and he doesn’t need a second invitation to curl up in your arms. 

“M’not a baby,” he mumbles softly into your chest, burying his face in your comforting warmth. 

“You really wanna argue now?” you tease him lovingly. “I thought you were dying.”

“Fuck you,” he giggles weakly, pulling you closer. “It really hurts, Y/nnie,” he whines after a moment of silence.

You forget sometimes how needy he gets when he’s in pain. “What hurts, baby?”

“My stomach,” he groans softly. 

“Let me get you a heat-” you start and sit up, but he pulls you back down.

“Don’t go,” he pleads, looking at you with those big brown puppy eyes you couldn’t say no to.

“Channie, angel, I’m trying to help,” you giggle softly.

“You are,” he says timidly. “Hold me, please? I…I really missed that. I missed you.”

Oh. “I’m here,” you tell him softly, welcoming him back into your arms. You gently run your hand through his hair, and he melts into you with a soft sound. “Is that okay?” you ask as you carefully start massaging his scalp. 

“Yeah,” he breathes out. “Feels good.”

“Tell me if it hurts, okay?” you ask gently, and he hums. The tension in his body lessens a little the longer you massage his scalp, running your fingers through his messy curls. You don't know how long you stay like this with him, but you have the feeling he's asleep after a while, his breathing growing calm. His head is tucked in safely beneath yours, his hand slipped beneath your sweater resting against your lower back. It almost feels normal again if there weren't that stupid little voice in the back of your head telling you differently. 

Chan turns in his sleep, scooting back as he misses your warmth. “Baby,” he whines sweetly, reaching back for your hand. He pulls your arm forward so you're hugging him and cuddles back into you. 

You chuckle softly and scoot closer, planting a tiny kiss on the back of his neck. “I'm here, Channie, I'm here,” you promise quietly. 

“Still hurts,” he mumbles, only half awake. 

You gently slip your hand beneath his shirt, resting it on his tummy. “Here, baby?” you ask gently, and he hums in response. You start rubbing soothing circles over his tummy, trying to ease him a little. 

Chan exhales, relieved, sinking back into his slumber. You bury your nose in his shoulder, closing your eyes as your senses are flooded with him. His skin feels warm beneath your fingertips, his soft breathing lulls you in, and his scent surrounds you. “I love you so much,” you whisper, and he doesn't stir one bit, finally fully asleep. 

-

Minho gets home later to the sight of you two cuddled up in bed. Chan's head is resting on your chest now as he sleeps on top of you. You have your arms wrapped around him lazily, looking peaceful in your sleep. He smiles softly and leans down, lovingly fondling your head and brushing back Chan's curls. He doesn't want to wake you two up yet, but glancing at his watch, he knows he should. Neither of you would be able to sleep tonight otherwise. “Hey, my loves,” he tries gently, rubbing Chan's back and your arm to get you to wake up. 

“No,” Chan protests sleepily. 

“Come on, Channie. You won't be able to sleep tonight,” he tells him, and Chan groans softly. “Y/nnie, wake up, honey,” he says gently, and a shiver runs down his spine as you’re too deep asleep to react. “Y/n?” he asks again, and Chan looks up at his tone. 

“Kitten,” he says soothingly and sits up, rubbing his face. “She's okay,” he promises. Minho glances at you worriedly until Chan gently grabs his chin and turns his head to face him. “Breathe.” He reaches out for you, tickling your side. 

“Ey, fucker!” you curse sleepily, swatting his hand away. 

Minho blinks at you for a moment before a weak laugh falls from his lips. “Fucks sake,” he whispers to himself. “I'm such an idiot,” he mutters and gets up, grabbing his keys from the nightstand. “Come down once you're ready, yeah? I brought lunch.”

Chan watches him thoughtfully as he leaves and glances back down at you. “Come on, pretty,” he giggles softly. 

“Ugh, fine,” you groan and sit up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. “How's your head?”

“A lot better,” he tells you, grabbing a sweater from his closet. 

“Your stomach?”

“All good,” he smiles gently. “Thank you, baby girl.”

“Of course,” you mirror his smile, but you see the worry lacing his features. “What's wrong?”

“I don't know, something's off with Min,” he says. “You didn't react when he tried to wake you, and I think he got scared for a second.”

“Oh,” you nod gently and tilt your head at Chan. “Maybe that's it. I'm sure he'll be fine. If not, we're there.” Chan nods agreeingly and offers you his hand, helping you out of bed. 

Chan exchanges a look with you as a loud thunder ripples through the air. “You know what that means?”

“More cuddles and a movie?” you smirk back. 

“Exactly,” he grins, pulling you downstairs with him. 

Minho already sets the table and smiles tiredly as you join him downstairs. Another thunder makes him flinch, barely noticeable, and he takes a deep breath. “Just rain,” he tells himself quietly.

“You need help with anything?” you ask him. 

“No, it's okay, you guys can sit down,” he tells you and grabs you all some glasses from the cabinet. Chan and you continue talking as Minho pours you all something to drink. The rain outside picks up, hammering against the roof. 

“I think we should turn on the light, it's getting darker every minute,” Chan says, getting up to do so. 

“Yeah, that's a lot better and-,” you break off as the next thunder makes Minho flinch so hard he's pouring the lemonade all over your lap. 

“Oh shit, I'm so sorry,” he apologizes immediately, putting it down and grabbing some tissues. You watch him cautiously as he tries to clean the mess up as well as he can and notice his hands shaking heavily. 

“Min?” you ask gently and exchange a look with Chan. Something is very wrong. “Min, look at me.” He does, and there's fear in his eyes, looking like he's about to zone out. “Minnie, what's -.”

Outside, a car suddenly hits the brakes, an ugly screeching sound rippling through your ears. Minho covers his ears with his hands in horror and presses his eyes closed, exhaling shakily. “It's okay, everything is okay,” he whispers, and the sight breaks your heart as you connect the dots. 

Chan seems to pick up on it as well, as you both move at the same time. Chan pulls Minho against his chest, wrapping his arms around him from behind. He soothingly rubs his chest and meets your eyes as you step in front of them. You gently take Minho's hands and pull them from his ears. “Minho, darling, look at me,” you say gently, and Minho does, gasping softly. “We're okay. It's just bad weather, but we're safe, okay?”

“Okay,” he nods quickly and tries to focus back on you. You cup his face, and he covers your hands with his own, taking a deep breath. “Okay,” he whispers. 

“Remember what you told me this morning?” you ask, and Minho chuckles weakly. 

“You owe me at least one kiss,” he says, slowly relaxing in Chan's hold combined with the sound of your voice. 

“Yeah,” you giggle softly. “We're okay, hm?”

Minho nods before dropping his head onto your shoulder with a soft sound. “I'm sorry,” he says and wraps one arm around you, his other hand finding Chan's on his chest. 

“Don't be,” Chan tells him gently. 

“It's okay,” you assure him. 

“I love you two so much,” he sighs softly, and you both squeeze him gently. 

“We love you too, kitten,” Chan answers for the both of you. 

You stay there for a while until Minho giggles softly. “You can let go now.”

“You're sure?” Chan smirks. 

“Very sure,” Minho snorts. 

“You already have enough of our love?” you chime in teasingly. 

“Never,” he giggles. 

“Then what's the rush, huh?” Chan chuckles, covering the back of his neck with tiny kisses as you do the same to his face. 

“Oh, for fucks sake,” he laughs happily. Chan and you exchange a fond gaze at the so beloved sound, knowing he's okay. “I can't reheat lunch again.”

“Fine,” you giggle, letting go of him again. 

-

The movie’s long finished as you're still all on the sofa. Minho's stretched out on the sofa, his head resting in your lap, legs thrown over Chan's. He's asleep by now, exhausted from his day. You mindlessly play with his hair, drawing patterns on his face in awe. Chan absentmindedly fondles his thighs, head back against the headrest as he stares at the ceiling. You glance at him, gently running your hand through his hair. “How's your head?” you ask as his eyes flutter close at your touch. 

“Much better,” he assures you gently, turning a little to face you. Looking into his eyes, you can see the many questions in them, mirroring your own. “Y/nnie?” he asks, barely audible. 

“Mhm?” you hum, still playing with his curls. 

“Do you…Do you still love me? Actually love me?” he asks so timidly your breath hitches in shock. 

“I-,” you stare at him, almost confused. Wasn't that supposed to be your question? 

Chan takes your silence the wrong way and nods, turning away from you. “Okay…fuck,” he whispers, his throat tightening. He's up before you know it, leaving the two of you as tears fill his eyes, and he feels like he can't breathe. 

You need a moment to process what's happening before quickly getting up, resting Minho's head on a pillow, and covering him with a blanket. 

Chan's upstairs in the bathroom, bracing himself on the sink so firmly that his knuckles turn white. His head hangs low, but you know the way his body’s trembling; he's holding back sobs. You slip underneath his arm so you're trapped between his body and the sink. “Channie,” you whisper, helplessly cupping his face. Your hands meet his wet skin, and you try to wipe his tears away. “Channie, my dear boy.”

“I'm sorry I messed it all up,” he whimpers. “I shouldn't have pushed you away back then, and I shouldn't have now. I swear I'll make it up to you. Please just give me a chance,” his voice cracks at the last bit. 

“Okay, okay, come here,” you say, pulling him into your arms. He buries his face in your shoulder, shaking in your arms. “Listen closely now, yeah?” you ask, waiting for his nod. “I will never stop loving you. Min told me how rough those months before the accident were for you, and I won't judge you for that. I know how hard you try to make Min and me comfortable, don't think I don't see that,” you tell him gently, soothingly rubbing his back as he grows calmer in your hold. “I'm scared I'm not the woman you love anymore because, well, I forgot a lot, and I carry a lot of baggage around now. And seeing you keeping your distance, I only felt like I was right about that…but maybe we're scared of the same thing about ourselves?”

Chan pulls back and smiles at you with teary eyes. “Y/nnie, you don't mean anything less to me than when we met. Fuck, you mean so much more to me by now. I just…Now that I got it back it feels like I don't know where to put all that love I have for you two and..I try bottling it up before scaring you off.”

“Please don't,” you tell him gently. “You've always been so loving, don't try to hide that. I really miss that, angel.”

Chan leans his forehead against yours in defeat and takes a shuddery breath. “So we're okay?” he asks timidly. 

“We're okay,” you whisper. “Can I kiss you?” you ask and Chan's body automatically searches yours, fingers digging deep into the fabric of your sweater. 

“Please,” he breathes out. Your lips meet, pulling a soft sound from him. “Missed you so much,” he whispers into the kiss, hands cupping your face so delicately as if you were made of glass. 

You only pull back once you feel he's ready and wrap your arms around his neck, cuddling into him. “I love you, Channie. So, so much. Never forget that.”

“I love you too,” he smiles softly. “I'll do better.”

You shake your head and soothingly run your hand through his hair. “Channie…I think sometimes we forget we interrupted your healing process with that stunt we pulled.”

“Don't call that a stunt,” he laughs in protest. 

“Okay,” you giggle, amused. “But like…you were working things out and coming back…Min told me how fucked up he was. I know that fight we had and what happened today is only a small glimpse of what you dealt with. So, you didn't really have time to get back home.”

“I suppose not,” he nods gently, frowning a little. 

“I can't change the fact that I need to be patient for my memories to come back…even if it's just partially,” you say and gently kiss his head. “But I will try my best to help you two feel comfortable around me and make sure you have a loving home.” Chan doesn't say anything, but the way he clings to you tells you everything you need to know. “Let's go get Minnie, I think we could all use the extra hours of sleep today.”

“Mhm, okay,” he hums softly, not quite ready to let go of you. 

“We can cuddle, angel,” you promise, and he pulls back with the sweetest smile on his lips. 

-

Chan gently picks up Minho from the sofa who protests with a soft whine. “Shh, it's okay, just taking you to bed,” he says fondly. 

Minho wraps his arms around him sleepily. “You two are okay?” he asks softly, having noticed your sudden absence. 

“Yeah, we're okay,” Chan nods. 

“That's good,” Minho smiles sweetly, kissing his neck sleepily. 

He doesn't protest much as Chan lowers him into bed and cuddles into you contently. Chan climbs into bed on your other side, doing the same. You fall asleep much more at peace than usual. You'd take care of your boys now. 

PART SIX | PART EIGHT

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

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[slytherweasley]

Concussion (Oliver Wood x reader)

Warnings: smut, oral male receiving, swearing

Summary: Oliver gets knocked out after being thrown off his broom by a Slytherin. You stay by his side but his concussion makes him irritable. He’s in so much pain you decide to take care of him.

Oliver lays on the hospital bed still knocked out after being thrown off his broom by a Slytherin at todays game. You sit by his side rubbing his scalp trying to soothe him in hope he will awaken. You were frozen in fear as you watched him fall, you couldn’t get up to see if he was okay until others from the crowd assured you he was alive.

Slowly Oliver’s eyes begin to open, his team mates are also here to show support for their captain. He groans in pain and Madam Pomfrey rushes to his aid. Once the team had given him their best wishes she sent them off so he could have some space.

You stayed by his side the whole time, you tried to cheer him up in every way you could think but he was short with you. “Oli, do you want me to go?” You ask softly “No stay” he says holding your hand firmly “i am in a lot of pain so I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings it’s not my intention” “I know, it’s okay” he reaches up slightly but you meet him with a kiss.

Madam Pomfrey releases him from the hospital wing and gives you everything you need as well as instructions on how to take care of him. He refuses to be wheeled in a wheelchair so you put your arm around him and let him lean on you as you walk to his dorm.

Oliver is well liked which is why it wasn’t a surprise that everyone wanted to talk to him but you tried to get him to his dorm as quick and safely as possible. You finally get him there and into bed “thank you darling” he kisses your forehead as you stack pillows behind him.

Once he is comfortable you organise his meds and everything he needs. “Darling?” He asks “Yes, Oli?” “Can you come cuddle? It will help my pain.”

He makes some space for you and you get into bed with him and try to adjust the pillows but he hits his head on the bed post “fuck” he yells “shit, baby I’m so sorry” you gently rub his head “stop. Just stop” he yells. “I’m sorry, I failed at everything” you mumble “I know you’re trying to help and you’re doing a great job, it’s just these pain meds are only doing so much.”

He pulls you into a hug “you didn’t fail at this, you could never fail at comforting me.” Something about the way he assured you created a solution to help him feel better.

You let go of the hug “I promise I won’t fuck this up” you say “fuck what up?” He asks as you lift his shirt up halfway pressing kisses down his stomach. Your fingers slide into his pants and start to palm him over his underwear “fuck darling” he groans as you feel him getting hard underneath your touch.

Your hand slip underneath his underwear as you begin to jerk him off slowly “feels good” he assures you “I love it when you touch me like this.”

You stop jerking him off to get rid of his pants and underwear letting his dick free. Your spit on his dick letting your saliva run down the base down to his balls “Oh darling, you are going to be the death of me.”

Your lips wrap around the head and you start sucking and swirling your tongue around the head tasting his precum and letting out a moan. Slowly you begin moving further down until your nose hits his mound. Oliver’s moans become louder and needier which makes you incredibly wet but you focus solely on Oliver.

Your hands massage his balls, he goes wild every time you pay attention to his balls. “Fuck darling, that’s it.” You start to move faster on his dick your eyes start to water and drool goes down your chin, you can hear the sounds coming from the back of your throat that Oliver is obsessed with.

“So good for me darling, I’m so close” this prompts you to do everything you can to keep going. “Fuck, I’m really close, you got to pull out if you don’t want me cumming down your throat” he warns but that’s what you want.

“Ah so good darling” he says as he cums in your mouth. You swallow and gently remove your mouth from his dick. “Thank you” he kisses your forehead “so much better than pain meds, do you need me to repay you?” He asks as you help him out his boxers on “No, it’s about you my love, I’ll manage as long as you are okay.”

You lay down carefully beside him facing him with your lips almost touching, he wraps his arms around you. “I don’t deserve you” he mumbles against your lips “yes you do” you close your eyes and lazily kiss him.

[crowandmousewritingco]

If You're Reading This

Pairing: Joel Miller x nb!reader

Word Count: 4.5k

Rating: PG-13, there's no spice. It's all angst bay-beeeeeee

Summary: You met Joel while out on a 'hunting run', you startle him and in return he almost shoots you. After everything settles the two of you get to talking and decide to stay in contact one of the only ways, via letters. Over the time writing each other, you grow feelings for him, and learn things about yourself that you don't know how he'll handle. Telling him, he goes silent, but you refuse to give up hope. Will your hope be enough to keep you going?

Author: Mod Crow (Got a new job so life has been ahhhhh)

Author's Note: The reader says their age. This was for @burntheedges' Roll-A-Trope! I was very back and forth on how I wanted this to play out, in the end I'm pretty happy with it.

Masterlist

Warnings: Language, mentions of suicide, and mentions of raiders and guns.

Dear Joel,

Thanks for not shooting me today, I wasn’t even in my best attire to die. I’m kidding. Not about the not shooting me thing. 

It was nice really meeting someone who didn’t want to kill me or rob me. It was also nice having the help dragging a deer all the way back to this place. I only hope my butchering and fileting skills aren’t getting rusty. But hey, if they are, you said something about you showing me “the way it’s done in the big beauty of Texas” or however you worded it. I know you aren’t here, but I need you to know that I’m currently laughing. I made myself laugh. Gods, I’m losing it aren’t I?

 Anyways, I should probably start cooking myself something to eat before the sun goes down. If you ever head this way and stop at this place, you should leave me a little letter or something. Obviously, I left this one for you in an obvious spot -and that’s what you should do as well- then after that we can start putting them in more well-hidden places, we can’t have someone finding them before we have a chance to. But that’s for the next letter.

-Y.F.

P.S. Y.F. means your favorite, I know what I am, you don’t have to tell me.

Hey Smartass,

Now that I like the sound of. Oh, and drop the formality, I’m not your pen pal or some shit like that. Ellie wanted me to tell you that “if you try to replace her as my favorite, she will stab you”. I don’t pick favorites. Just so you know. I haven’t had a favorite person in a while now…

God let’s stop talking about the sad shit anymore. I saw a baby squirrel on the porch as I was walking up. I thought maybe he had lost his mama or daddy; I’m thinking that’s what he also thought because when one of his -what I can only assume- parents came back they had scared that poor little thing so bad that he damn near jumped three feet high. I was kind of wishing you could have seen it, I remember you telling me how much you loved nature and all that stuff. Don’t read into that.

Anyways, I don’t know what it’s like heading up from the southwest, but Ellie and I ran into more raiders than we normally do. I don’t know why there’s more, but I’m not liking how things are looking.  

I left you some ammo and rations hidden in the fireplace. Ellie left you something, she wouldn’t tell me, besides that it was hidden in the bathroom. That’s all she told me, so I’m guessing that means good luck. 

-Joel 

I’m not calling you my favorite, I don’t have a favorite between you two nuisances 

Dear party-pooper,

Yes, that’s what I’m calling you from now on, you fucking party-pooper. ANYWAYS, I found your stash, thanks. The ammo was a life saver…literally…the rations could have at least been a good one. You left me some beef jerky (the only good thing in that damn ration), some stale ass cracker, and some unidentifiable fruit-like substance. 

The raiders though, they’ve actually been better. Based on my guess, I think they might have migrated up your way. If you think it’s getting too bad for a bit, I get that, don’t feel pressured to write me back whenever you’re here next. 

On a lighter note, Ellie hid a book that she’d think I’d like. So far, her shot in the dark has struck bull’s-eye. Tell her I said thank you. As for where she hid it -you’re gonna love this- she pulled the medicine cabinet off the upstairs bathroom’s wall, knocked out a small bit of drywall, and hid it in the wall before replacing the cabinet. It took me far longer than it should have, but who the fuck would look behind the cabinet on the wall? The cabinet, mind you, looked like it had never been pulled off the wall. Fuck, I really gotta give her credit for how creative she is with hiding places. You should take notes. Your hiding spots in the past have been…kinda in plain sight. Love you old man, but you suck at hiding. Expect, I give you credit to this last drop, up the chimney fluke. Maybe you still have it in you after all, old man.

Anyways…I left some things for you in the door of the fridge. It’s not much this time, things have been rough at this place. We let in this new couple, and they’ve been super suspicious. The first night they were here, the woman -Gabrielle- was found snooping around in the owner of the farm’s wife’s dresser. Gabrielle couldn’t give us a straight answer as to why she was snooping. That wasn’t even the weirdest bit, that same night the man -Kenneth- was snooping around in ALL of our shit. I woke up at gods only know, probably 3 or 4 in the morning. I didn’t think he got any of shit. I didn’t look though, and that’s on me. He got away with most of the things I was going to give you, what he didn’t take is hidden for you. I left Ellie some magazines I found about alternative bands from before the pandemic. I don’t even know if she knows what alternative music is, gods you probably don’t know what alternative music is. I’ll explain that to you in person one of these days. 

-Your favorite nuisance 

You fucking child, 

You and Ellie act like the exact same person sometimes I swear. Sometimes I feel like it’s just Ellie leaving me these notes. 

Forget all that, you said that the ammo I stashed for you came in handy? What happened? Are you okay? Were you injured? What happened to the other guy? That’s something I would have paid to see. If half of what the shit you’ve said in the past were true, then you’re a pretty good aim. 

What you left me enough, the granola was honestly a god sent. You have no idea how boring coffee was getting. Ellie also said -and I quote- “Hell yeah these bitches look sick.” I have no idea where she’s heard that, because it sure as hell wasn’t me. 

Backtracking -kind of- I know we’ve talked raiders, how have those fucking clickers been? I think because of that “migration” or whatever the hell you called it, they’ve been out there killing those fuckers while they snuck through the shadows. Our raider problem went up, but the clicker problem. It’s been too quiet recently. But following that thought, your raider problem went down, so that means your clicker problem got worse. Didn’t it? Fuck��� You’re a pain in my ass, but I like this banter I get to have. You should come with Ellie and I back to our little place. It isn’t much, but Ellie’s been complaining that where we are isn’t “comfortable”. I swear she says what she says just to test my patience. But, yeah, Ellie would love it. She’d never shut up and it wouldn’t be me for once. Just give us the when and we’ll meet you here.

-Joel M.

Hey grumpy,

I think I like this nickname the best so far. I do swear one thing to you grumps, I am 100% NOT Ellie. I’m your…something. I’ve been kinda held up in my room at the farm this past week. I’ve been thinking about some things after the raiders. That’s not something I lied about; I am a pretty good shot. So was the leader of the little gang. He was 100% aiming for my head, I’m only alive because I got lucky. He drew his gun quicker than I did, he aimed quicker than I could, and he pulled that fucking trigger before I could…His gun jammed. It took me a minute to even register that I was still alive. When I realized though, gods, was I ready. Almost dying makes you really think about how you want to be remembered by people. 

I don’t even know if what I’m thinking would make sense to you. Ellie might, but all she’s ever known is…well whatever it is she grew up knowing. These are things that I haven’t thought about since…fuck, well before the outbreak. Bare with me as I try to figure out to explain this in writing that isn’t going to be a fucking novel. 

Actually, before I do that, I want to get this out there first. if you aren’t sure you want to be a part of this emotional blah, I got lucky. Ken left his bag open in Gabrielle’s room right next to her bag in her room! What’s even better? Neither of them were anywhere near the bags, Gabrielle was helping with dinner and Ken was helping with fence repair. I left you just under half of the ammo they had -hey, gotta keep myself safe- and Ken’s utility hatchet like thing (you’ll see what I mean). I also snatched you some more granola. I have no idea how this old couple is doing it, but they have so many oats. They also have a fucking bee house! You know what that means? Fresh honey! And just for you grumps, I snatched a mason jar for the two of you. Honey’s also good for a sore throat. I know it’s getting cold out there. I’ve actually been knitting (I know, I must be lying about my age. I’m not, I swear. I learned how to knit because of my grandma. When I was probably six or seven, I made a huge deal out of wanting to learn to do what my grandma was doing. So, she taught me. After the outbreak, I needed something to do with my hands, otherwise things…things would be incredibly different right now. Gods, sorry about the ramble.) some scarves for the two of you. You have no idea how much yarn got left behind in the stores. If after you read this, you decide you still want me to go with you I will. We can do it the weekend after next. Next week is my birthday and Marieann and George (the old couple of the farm) told me that it was “my day to relax and rest up after the hard year.” Who am I to go against what a sweet old lady tells me to do? That being said, I don’t like not knowing what’s going on and how the two of you are doing. At this point, what’s even the point of keeping track of birthdays anymore? Like, “Yay I lived another horrid year on this dying hunk of space rock, can’t wait to suffer through another one! Anyways, I'm sneaking out past curfew to leave you a note if the plan has changed. Anywho…I found more magazines for Ellie. I’ve hid them in the pantry. She’s smart. Your is hidden in the basement behind that dresser, it’s the same idea as what the kid did in the upstairs bathroom cabinet.

Back to the emotional blah…If anything I write doesn’t make sense, you can try asking Ellie. She may know. Gods, I thought it would be easier to write this out, not having to see your weathered (ignore that) expression change. To what? I don’t know. Anything? Fuck it…Joel when we meet, I thought I had figured myself out. When I met you, I was sure I was a woman. I don’t think that I am…I’m not a man either though. I’m neither? I don’t know how to explain this. Okay, so I was she/her when we met, you were -and still are- he/him. Well, if I’m neither of them I have to have a way to refer to myself, right? I do, instead of she or he, I’m…them. Or they! Well, it’s more like both, they/them. Gods I’m shaking so bad right now haha, I’m just really scared of losing you two…You two have been the first good thing since this shitstorm started. I know I can’t make you write me back, but I can ask you to at least leave me something saying you’ll either come back and write a new note or some kind of…I don’t know sign? That doesn’t feel like the right word, but note isn’t the word I want to use…I don’t know Joel, just please leave something. I don’t care how long it takes; I’ll keep coming back till I get another note from you. Even if that means I die doing this because you chose to leave, and I wouldn’t hate you for it. 

That’s all I’ve to say. I really do…like you Joel, when thinking, remember I am the person from all of those letters and the few times we met.

-Your Raven no    Magpie also no Crow now that’s one I like

Joel, 

Hey, I came back this weekend, I’m 26 now! Yay! I’m not going to lie; I’m terrified right now. The clickers are getting worse around the farm, they aren’t too bad on the way here yet, but I know they will be.

I checked to see if you took the stuff, and you did. I saw that Ellie left me a comic book and a band shirt from one of those mags I gave her. I can’t believe she was able to find one, let alone one in my size. I also saw that you left me some ammo and another ration. I know it isn’t much, but it’s something. It gives me hope, and that’s all most of us have nowadays. Along with that hope, I also hope that you'll come back again. If that’s the case, I’ve left you both some things, same places as last. 

Joel, for you, more granola (enough for the both of you), a scarf for you, some peach preserves (Marieann opened up some preserves she had made to be opened about this time), and some bread I baked. I warn the bread isn’t pretty, but with the chill, it should last a bit longer.

For Ellie, her scarf, a couple of mangas I found (this will be fun to hear how that goes), a Swiss army knife I found on a dead raider (I know it’s gruesome, but it’s the world we live in now), and a slightly used deck of cards. I felt like she could find a way to entertain herself why you do whatever it is you do when you want to be alone.

-Your hope filled Crow

Hey again,

You took the things again, and you left some more for me. It’s still something. No matter how little. It just hit me, these letters are going to be getting shorter and shorter until I hear from you huh?

Should I even keep writing to you? Maybe don’t answer that. Or do. You take all the time you need. I’m leaving you guys some more things, the same place as before.

-Your Crow

Hey, 

I’m sorry about how long it took, I’ll be honest, I didn’t understand at all, and it freaked me out a bit. I asked Ellie if she they understood it and they did. They also came to realize that about themselves too. No, I don't fully understand it, but I’m willing to learn.

Thanks for the scarves, they’ve really helped with the chill at night. Ellie was so intrigued by that one that I’m guessing was the manga. I have no idea if they figured it out, but they’re having a blast trying. 

The clickers have been a bit more active around us too. I wonder where they’re all coming from though. 

Ellie and I are ready to head out, just tell us when. We’ve gathered all we could, the rest of the stuff we’re leaving is replaceable. Thanks to your scarf we’ve managed to carry a bit more stuff, not the way you meant for them to be used but they’re multifaceted. 

I don’t know if Ellie has anything to leave, but I’m assuming it’s in the bathroom. I don’t have much to leave, I found some yarn. I just happened upon it when looting some cars on the main road. I also found a broken bow. I don’t know if you can fix it, but maybe that old man, George(?) could fix it, or maybe someone else in the house. They’re in the basement, it’s the only place they’d fit. 

I want to help you keep that hope alive. I have one of my own, I hope we can get somewhere warm and safe together.

Joel, with…

Holy fuck,

Joel, you came back?! Thank you fuck…thank you. If you could see me, I am a mess right now. Gods you’d get a kick. 

I wasn’t able to fix the bow, but George was! I guess he used to bow hunt back in the day. He said it may take him a bit; he has to dig out his tools. I’ll leave a letter the night before with an update. If you find a letter then there’s kink in the plans, if you don’t find a letter then it’s because I was there waiting, or I died. Or some other third thing, I like being dramatic sometimes. 

With this plan may be happening, I’m not leaving much. This time it’s a kindle of firewood. Dry firewood hidden in the sugar in a mason jar. I remember you saying you drank coffee, and you were growing tired of the taste. So have some sugar, make it sweeter. Maybe add honey too. 

-Your Crow

Dear Joel,

I know you hate the formality of these kinds of letters, but for once, just let it be. See the thing is I’m writing this as a “worst case scenario” kinda thing… I started writing about an hour ago for me, gods only know how long it’s been for you. To put in perspective the time difference, I’m writing this the same day I read your letter you had left, the letter about the plans about me coming with the two of you to find somewhere else. 

I don’t know what has happened to me to force my hand in leaving this letter, but if I had to take a shot in the dark, I’ve probably been shot by other survivors. I’ve been bitten. If I remember, I’ll try to come back and write what really happened. Anyways, I know we had a plan, I also know that you’re a strong man. You don’t need me; I would have just slowed you down. So now you have to promise me you’ll keep that kid safe. Oh, and if you happen to find yourself in Omaha -I know we’re several hundred miles away, but you never know- stop by 1004 Cicada drive. It’s where I was living when all of the shit hit the fan. Now, I won’t be there to give you the tour, so you better not go tracking mud or anything inside. 

Look, there are some things in that house that I think could be beneficial to you, I know you’ll find what you need. I have some things out in the garage, there’s some other things in the attic, and then there’s some things down in the basement’s crawl space. Now, it’s going to be dusty and dirty down there, but back before all of this, it was a beautiful basement. I had just finished painting it that beautiful blue color that has since been destroyed by some fucking raiders. Fuck, look at me gushing over my old basement. I must really sound like some weird fucker, huh? 

Anyways, if I’m dead and that’s why you’re reading this, I just wanted to tell you some things…Where do I even start? I guess I’ll start light, that’s what you do right? I don’t know why I keep asking questions, I don’t know your answers to them. Gods do I wish I did know your answers, writing this with the unknown has been killing me. If you could see me right now, you’d have a pretty good laugh, I’m shaking like the last fall leaf in a big dying tree in the middle of a tornado. Fuck, I’m rambling…Look I’m really happy we ran into each other when we did, that day you almost shot me in the forest -behind this decrepit house- I lied to you. You asked me why I was out there, I told you I was looking for some animals to catch. I wasn’t…I couldn’t take any more of this bullshit. So, I was gonna beat the zombies to my death, and I wasn’t giving them the satisfaction of bringing me back to be some brainless creature monster. I was going to paint a bit of the forest with gray matter. When you insisted on helping me because you also needed food, I was honestly kinda pissed. But now? Now I’m happy you stuck around. Joel, I don’t wanna make you feel any type of way but…You are the only reason I’m still here on this shithole of a planet. Also…you sticking around had affected me in ways I wasn’t expecting…Joel thanks to you Joel, spending all of that time with you, getting to actually know you, exchanging stories, all of that shit. All of that meant means far more than you could understand, and in that time, I grew to fell in love with you Joel. 

I should have told you in person not through a piece of paper. I know there isn’t much I can say now…. but I am sorry. I wish I could have told you in person, I really do, I wish I could have heard your lips say it back. I can only imagine how your raspy, yet honeysuckle sweet voice would say those three words “I. Love. You.” Gods the thought of it…

Anyways, if I keep going, I might accidently write you a book. For whatever reason it is that made me tell you where to find this, I’m happy I got to meet you when I did. Make sure to tell Ellie I said hi. You make sure you keep that girl safe or so Gods help you, Joel Miller. 

-Your Crow, with love

P.S. Joel I don’t know how much longer I have till I turn, but I just wanted to say before I die, I love you Joel, tell Ellie I love her too. I left you my remaining ammo and handgun. I left Ellie my lucky bullet casing -we both know she’ll love it- and my bracelet, the one with that little metal rabbit foot charm. You have no idea how excited I was to leave that lonely farm. I would finally be with people I cared about and who cared about me. Like who actually cared about me. 

I had a weird feeling that this is how things would go, so I planned. I know I’m leaving you my handgun and ammo. The handgun only has one bullet right now. You can fill it the rest of the way and leave, or you can do what I was too scared to do in the end…Kill me. Right now, I’m in the kitchen writing this. I don’t feel good, I feel like someone beat me with a lead pipe. My head is throbbing, and I can’t tell if I’m sweating because I’m hot with a fever, or if because of a cold chill. 

I thought I’d have a bit of time, you know, write you some more, pour my heart out on paper for you, but I don’t. It wasn’t a deep bite, but it was a bite, nonetheless. I tried to sneak past this clicker, I was doing so well until I lost my balance and stumbled, twisting my ankle. I didn’t try to fight it, I thought I’d have better luck running back here. I didn’t…  

I love you Joel, I really really ….

*Joel’s POV*

Your writing at the end was practically ineligible, trailed off almost. Joel wasn’t quite sure, what he was sure of, was the feeling of his heart break. An all too familiar break, one he hadn’t felt since Sarah’s mom…

Joel quickly and silently tore his path through the house, he was certain that you were playing some kind of sick cruel joke. 

“Joel. Joel! Come on man,” Joel could hear Ellie, but for some reason his legs wouldn’t stop. He had to prove Ellie wrong, that’s why. Yeah, that makes sense. “Joel, Jesus fucking Christ. STOP!” Hearing Ellie’s loud voice had pulled him to a halt. 

“Joel, I know you loved them man, I did too. I don’t know what hell-bent path you’re on, but you aren’t going to find them okay. I know,” Joel looked to Ellie, his unfocused eyes taking a moment. When his eyes finally focused, he could see it, he could see the tears that were pouring from Ellie’s face. That’s when he realized he too was crying. “I looked for them after I found their rabbit’s foot bracelet. I think they’re in the basement, the door is locked or jammed. I can’t get it open.” Joel swallowed the pained howls that wanted to rip through his tired body. Clearing his throat, Joel quickly wiped his face on his jacket sleeve. 

“You stay up here; I’ll get it figured out. No matter what, I don’t care if you're curious or something else, don’t under any circumstances come down there am I clear?” Joel clenched his jaw, he needed something to focus on something, so why not something he can do. 

Ellie never responded verbally, but Joel saw the stiff nod. Turning from Ellie Joel tried to make quick work of finding the things you left. It took him far less time than he expected. Joel also found a key; one he could only assume you left. It wasn’t particularly noteworthy or showy, but if he had to guess, it would unlock that basement door. Was that even something he wanted to do? Kill you? Or rather, kill the already dead you? 

Heading back to the dining room, Joel looked at the things he had found in the house. The one catching his attention first? Your handgun. The one with only one bullet loaded in it. Picking up the gun, Joel examined it in his hand, the handle was worn, faint groves noticeable to the touch. The metal on it had definitely seen better days, days when the metal was clean and before it was used in all of this shit. 

Swallowing the lump in his throat down, Joel took the key -along with the gun- to the basement door. Standing there, Joel simply stared at the handle. God only knows how long he stood there, but hearing Ellie walk into the dining room, pulled him back to the doorknob in hand. Gripping the gun tighter, Joel carefully put the key into the knob. Giving it a trying twist, Joel felt it resist for a second, before a soft ‘click’ could be heard. Gripping the knob, Joel twisted it slowly and carefully pulled the door open. There wasn’t a single sound coming from the basement, maybe you had found a way to do this. Something he was now dreading. Readying the gun, Joel carefully made his way down the stairs, trying to be as light as possible on his feet. 

Once his feet hit the basement floor, Joel clicked on his flashlight. The basement wasn’t huge by any means, but it did have a smaller room off the back wall. Walking towards the doorway, Joel practically held his breath to listen for the all too well known cl-

The sound of clicking slowly filling the air as he grew closer. The sound put him to a stop. Can he really do this? Yes, because you shouldn’t have to be one of them. Clenching his jaw Joel continued on. 

In the doorway, Joel could barely make out the shadow of you, or at least what used to be you. It was kind of hard to tell for certain where the bite was for certain, but it seemed as if it was your shoulder. As he stood there, Joel was silent, he wanted to remember what you were like, this wasn’t you and he knew that. You were gone by now, long gone and he knew that. Raising the gun, Joel closed his eyes for a moment. Opening his eyes, Joel cocked the handgun, the click of the hammer grabbing your attention. Staring at what used to be your face, Joel could feel the tears run down his face. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t quicker my Crow.” His last word punched through the silence, with the loud echo of a spent shell.

'''''''

The divider was made by the beautiful @mikeykuns

All Works Taglist

@for-a-longlongtime @romanarose

Pedro Character Taglist

@littlemisspascal @burntheedges

@carusolikey @thebeldroramscal

@morallyinept @lady-bess

@pedrostories @rivnedell

@pascalsanctuary @readingiskeepingmegoing

[waterloggedsoliloquy]

mutual 1: sorry the update for my webcomic this week is a bit late! i really had to rush it so it prolly looks really sloppy lol [some of the most sophisticated comic art ive ever seen]

mutual 2: call me uterine lining the way astarions cervix got me bleeding profusely

mutual 3: do you think nanowrimo will give me a posthumous pity publishing deal if i mention it in my suicide note

mutual 4: okay fine i finally started revolutionary girl utena

mutual 5: does columbo know the service he did for butch lesbians. for all of us

mutual 6: wish you were here [blurry picture set of conifer woods in early autumn evening, taken as if frantically running down a winding trail]

mutual 4: im pretty hardy i dont need the trigger list but thanks for looking out for me guys

mutual 7: good morning lovelies another day the wizard tried to best me and another day i successfully locked him in the spare bathroom lol hope u like drinking shampoo fucker

mutual 8: here is a zip of every yuri manga scan i have and here is a backup in case i get dcma'd. the himejoshi lifestyle will never die

mutual 9: i wish i could go back in time to the shinzo abe assassination and ask to hold the doohickey

mutual 10: here's my essay on how wanting to be loved is the same as wanting to be eaten. three paragraphs in you'll find out that this is 100% tied to an obscure beauty and the beast manga i've been reading lately and how much i want to fuck the beast

mutual 4: oh thats why there was the trigger list.

mutual 11: YOU CAN'T LOCK ME IN THIS BATHROOM FOREVER

mutual 12: why do i have to defend my thesis to people i dont even respect. im not dickriding you just give me the degree

mutual 13: its just me and this scab ive picked into my scalp against the world

mutual 14: my little dragon got glazed and is ready to go into the kiln! everyone wish him good luck!

mutual 3: nvm i am a beautiful genius. perhaps the most beautiful genius of all

mutual 15: i think we should give david lynch rpgmaker and whatever happens happens

mutual 16: kpeyboaatrds brpokem gpuys

mutual 17: also heres my work in progress glossary of mixtec words! i still have a long way to go but i love being able to preserve my roots even in this small way

mutual 4: i just finished the black rose arc. question: what

mutual 18: i need emet-selch to be my wife

mutual 19: i need glados to be my husband

mutual 20: visited the ocean today!!! <3 beach pics!!! there is a darkness growing within me

mutual 21: the forms for my legal name change came in. pls vote in this poll of what my middle name should be: Dill Pickle (Dickle for short), Optimus Prime, Tumblr User Gorgonicteratologist, Smeve

mutual 22: just finished my 100th book of the year! this weeks read was the uses of enchantment by the psychologist bruno bettelheim,

mutual 23: reeses penis butter cups lol

mutual 4: i need to hunt akio for sport

mutual 24: oouugghhrgh. hot. dog.

mutual 25: your favorite character or fictional other would want you to brush your teeth and wash your face so you're well rested and wake up feeling refreshed! make them proud!

mutual 26: being a delivery driver isnt the worst job ive ever had but i do keep wondering what itd be like to drive off into the wild blue yonder one day and not come back

mutual 27: weird dog? [phone picture of critically endangered stork]

mutual 28: i think the two phone line polls in front of my house are having a lovers tryst. no way to prove it tho

mutual 4: WHAT

mutual 29: while you bitches are balduring your gates or finalling those fantasies im doing what a REAL gamer does. playing a b tier rpg that came out in 2004 for the 18th time

mutual 30: ^ real. hamtaro ham ham heartbreak is a masterpiece of interactive art. im not even going to call it a video game at this point

mutual 4: THAT'S HOW IT ENDS?! ANTHY?

mutual 31: can you help me pick which drawing looks better: 34% overlay or 36% soft light?

mutual 32: new video essay out. its called disability in video game narratives: final fantasy 14's most reliable fault. i churned the script out over an all-nighter and my mic crapped out halfway through but by god i did it

mutual 33: my new zine bundle is out! if you buy it you also get a discount on all my game jam games! i really cant wait for you to play them!

mutual 4: yall should watch revolutionary girl utena

[russellsppttemplates]

So what about one of the girfriends not feeling well during the raceweeked but being stubborn about it. She ends up feeling really really poorly on race day and has to sit inside with some other wag inside hospitality or even be taken to the medical area for a bit. Maybe it's the heat or the jetlag idk,but driver ends up knowing about it after and he's worried, so he's taking care of her from them on and is grateful for their friends

Tw: sickness from heat stroke, medical visit

"I'm getting a coffee, Y/N, do you want something?", Carmen asked, "can you bring me a bottle of water, please? Cold, if possible", you asked her, seeing her nod as she got up. It was hot, that much you could say. Inside the hospitality, you were feeling okay, but the minute you set foot close to the garage, where the air outside was much more prominent, it was a different story. So, for now, you and Carmen were keeping yourselves indoor until the race started, having already wished good luck to both of your boyfriends on their race, hoping for a double Mercedes podium today.

"How did you convince Mick to let you watch the race here?", Carmen asked as she came back, handing you the cold bottle for you to place it on the nape of your neck, "I might've told him that I was fine, which I feel like I am", you said as the Spanish woman looked at you sternly, "fine-ish, but it's going to be okay, I just have to keep myself in a cooler spot, lots of water, maybe grab some ice from the catering", you joked.

Joking, however, didn't seem like such when about halfway through the race, you started having trouble in seeing the screen properly, even with your glasses on, "you're not feeling well, are you, Y/N?", Carmen asked as she got up, helping you to a cooler part of the garage, "I'm a bit dizzy", you admitted. After giving you some water and placing an ice pack on your neck and another to your wrists, you started feeling a little bit better even though you were still a bit weak.

"I think it's best if we go get you checked out", Carmen reasoned, "you're looking pale and flushed, and those two are never a good sign", she said, getting one of the media girls to help you to the medical tent hoping someone would just check if everything was fine.

"Y/N, have you been sleeping well?", the doctor asked after he took your temperature, "I've been travelling for work, and then I came here, so sleep hasn't been so easy", you clarified, "jet lag and this heat is a bad combination", he stated, "this is likely heat stroke, there's nothing else suggesting another situation, so rest up, lots of fluids, stay away from the sun as much as possible for the next few days and ice packs on your pressure and temperature points should help, too", he concluded as you nodded, thanking him.

"It looks like there might be some celebrations today, but I'd rather you stay in", he said as he showed you the final results, George and Mick getting a Mercedes 1-2 as they crossed the line.

Opting to stay in Mick's driver's room until after the podium, it didn't take long for your boyfriend to walk in, his trophy standing on Toto's counter as he checked you, "I heard what happened, are you okay?", he said, approaching you as Carmen stood back, looking for her boyfriend so she could congratulate him and give you two some privacy, "I'm fine, I just can't take the combination of hot temperatures and sleep deprivation", you smiled, hoping to soothe his worries.

Understandably, you and Mick passed on the team's dinner despite your insistence that Mick should go, "knowing Mick, he would eat very quickly and wait for the best and most polite time to come back to you, so he might as well just pass this one and we will all celebrate later when you feel better", Toto said as you smiled at his attentiveness.

"I have a bath, cool water, so we can wash the day away, I asked room service for something light for dinner and also a bucket of ice", he smiled as he helped you undress, "I know you're tired, but I promise you're going to feel better after this, liebling". Holding you with one arm under your knees and one around your back, Mick eased you into the bathtub before he got in, "don't think I won't scold you for letting me believe you were feeling better when you weren't. I'm just not going to do it now", he chuckled, kissing your shoulders as you snuggled closer to him, "thank you for looking after me", you whispered, "always, liebling, always".

(Thank you for submitting an ask 🤍)

[soupbaddie]

A Day With the Pavel Family

*only suitable for mature audiences, 18+*

While this story is fine for 13+, future parts will not be.

This story contains spoilers pertaining to Najuma and Hodari quest lines.

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"Hey! Your dad said you were wanting some tea, so I brought you some sweet leaf."

Najuma had just barely made it out of her room, still yawning, before I started talking to her.

"Oh! Um.. thanks! This will be great after dinner tonight. Thanks, Em."

I couldn't get out a reply before she took off out the front door, saying something about not wanting to forget her newest idea.

I sat back down on the couch and picked up my book. I had spent the last hour reading, waiting for Najuma to wake up. I started my day early in the hopes of getting a sernuk before it was too hot to hunt. Luckily it didn't take me too long, so I came here right after and got straight to reading.

"Hey, darlin'."

I was so lost in my book, I didn't even see or hear Hodari come through the door.

"What are you doing here so earlier? I don't usually see you 'til lunch time," he said, while giving me a grin.

"I could ask you the same. You should work while it's still cool out. Also, how did you know I was here?"

He nodded toward the door and said, "I saw Najuma come out of here with a pep in her step and I knew that meant she'd seen you."

I looked down and smiled as he made his way to the couch to sit by me. He put a hand on my thigh and I could feel a tingle move up my leg and to my spine. His touch always felt so new and made my heart race.

"What can I do for you, darlin'?"

"Oh. Nothing," I replied. "I was just out and thought I'd try to make the day easier for you by getting some steaks for dinner. Lucky for you, I was successful." I looked up at him and he was already looking back at me.

"You know you don't have to do that for me," he said quietly.

"I know but now it's one less thing for you to worry about."

"Well, I really appreciate it, Ember. You take good care of Najuma and me."

He gave my thigh a light squeeze and I felt a wave of nerves run through me.

"I wish I could help out more but, I'm a better hunter than I am a miner."

He chuckled. "Well, how about you join me in the mines today and I can give you a few tips."

"I'd like that."

He stood up and grabbed my hand to help me up then led me out the door.

I waved at Najuma as we made our way towards the mines. She smiled and waved back but I knew she was upset that she couldn't join. I was slowly convincing Hodari to let her back in the mines but it was taking more time than I'd hoped.

As we got closer, I started to feel some nervous energy creeping up inside of me. I had been working on my skills and was really hoping Hodari would notice. I didn't want him to feel like all his help in the past had been ignored. He had more patience with me than he should've and I felt like I needed to prove that I was worth the work.

"Alright, Ember, let me see what you got."

I swung the pick above my head and using the weight of it, came back down on some iron in front of me. It didn't do much but at least I hit my target this time.

"Not too bad, darlin'. You're getting better at this. Move your legs further apart, they're too close together. Now give it another swing."

I pulled back the pick again, and with better balance, was able to come down with a little more force.

"That's it. Nice swing, Em."

I let out the breath I had been holding and gave him a nod. When I went to hit a third time, I swung back too fast and lost my balance. I dropped the pick in the hopes of moving my hands in time to catch myself. Before I hit, I felt Hodari catch me.

"Take it a little slower next time. There's no rush," he said as he helped me back to my feet.

"I know we just started, but I think I'll take a break. That pick is always heavier than I remember. I'll come back once I catch my breath."

He gave me a nod of approval and I took off to find some shade. I sat under a tree close enough to the mines to see Hodari at work. He was great at his job and all those years of hard work really showed. He was strong. I could feel it when he caught me. He held me like I didn't weigh more than the pick I was swinging. I sat back and admired him. His face was so still and focused. His stance was firm and unmoving in a way I knew I'd never conquer. And his arms, his chest...

I got a weird feeling in my stomach and turned to look at something else. Any time I really stopped to look at him, these feelings would come. I wasn't very familiar with them. Existing was still pretty new.

When I arrived here, I had no idea what being human meant. I knew the basics of being alive, but I had almost no memory of where I came from or what I was before arriving. Everything I did and saw were firsts for me. The foundation of who I was was there, but nothing was built on it.

I pulled a book out of the bag I had been carrying. It wasn't the one I had thought it was but it would do.

"Stalking Prey for Beginners," I read out loud. Not as entertaining as the romance novels Caleri introduced me to but still good enough to keep me reading.

After some time passed, Hodari made his way towards me wiping sweat from his brow.

"It'll be dark by the time we get back. Don't want to keep Najuma waiting," he said.

I hadn't even realized it had gotten so late. I'd spent the whole day reading this damn book... and occasionally staring at Hodari.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I never went back to help. I got lost in reading."

I looked down, a little embarrassed, and he chuckled.

"You know I don't mind, darlin'. I'm glad you found some time for yourself to relax. You deserve that. "Now let's head back." He grabbed my hand and we walked back to the house.

Najuma was already inside waiting for us. She was at the table writing notes about her latest creation. She had yet to tell me what it is but I knew she would when she was ready for a test subject.

"Hodari, you go clean up and I'll start prepping dinner. Once you're done, I'll go next," I said.

"Sure thing, darlin." He kissed my hand then headed outside.

"So, what did you get up to today?" I asked Najuma as I started washing some potatoes.

"Oh, the same as always. Wait until dad is out of the workshop then get started on my latest projects."

She paused then said, "I found one of your books. But don't worry, I won't tell my dad."

I felt my face get hot and turned to her. "You didn't read it did you?" I started to panic.

She let out a laugh then said, "No way. I'm not into your romance books. Seeing you and my dad is gross enough."

A breathed out a sigh of relief. Thank goodness she thought it was just some dumb romance novel. I'd hate to find out it's my fault she was introduced to smut.

Once I had calmed down, I got back to prepping the potatoes while waiting for Hodari to come back.

"Go ahead and get yourself cleaned up, darlin'. I'll take it from here."

He walked in smiling while rubbing his hair with a towel

"Oh! Perfect timing. The steaks are ready for the grill and that's definitely your job."

He laughed and took the steaks outside to cook. I followed before heading for the outdoor bathing area around the house. I washed the dirt off my skin and out of my hair and tried my best to get all the dust out of my clothes. It wasn't perfect, but I felt so much better and much more presentable.

By the time I was done, dinner was ready and the table inside was set. We all sat and enjoyed the meal.

Najuma told us about how Auni was bothering her again about joining him in bug hunting. Hodari talked about a promising new mine. To everyone's surprise, he asked Najuma to join him in checking it out and to come up with a game plan for getting it open.

He's getting there. This is a step in the right direction. I know he's having a hard time letting her back in but I think he's starting to see that keeping her from her Path is only making their relationship worse.

"I'm gonna make some tea. Do you want to try some, Em?"

"I would love some! Thank you," I replied.

She had an excited smile on her face as she got out another teacup.

Once brewed, she brought me the tea. It smelled earthy yet sweet with a hint of mint. I took a sip, and it was delicious. I know Najuma could tell I liked it because she reassured me there were plenty of leaves for another cup or two.

We all sat in silence for a while. This was pretty typical of the Pavel family and I didn't mind. I enjoyed the comfortable quiet that came with being around them.

"Thank you for trying the tea, Ember. My mom and I used to enjoy a some after dinner together. It's nice being able to do that with someone again." Najuma said quietly as she spoke into her cup. I reached out my hand and placed it on her forearm.

"Thank you for sharing something so special with me, Najuma. I'm honored," I said.

She gave me a shy but happy smile and we went back to our tea.

Hodari reached under the table, put a hand on my knee and gave it squeeze. When I looked to him, he had a soft, happy grin on his face. If he wasn't proud of me for the mining, he was for this moment. 

"Well, I'm going to bed!" Najuma said as she hopped from her chair and made her way to her bedroom. We all knew she wasn't actually going to sleep but at least she pretended to.

"Don't stay up too late, now. I want you up bright and early to check out that new spot," Hodari said, but she was in her room before he even finished.

He let out a sigh and I stood up from the table.

"Leavin' so soon, darlin?"

"Not unless you want me to stay a little longer. And if you do, might I suggest we move to a more comfortable spot? Like the couch?"

"Of course I want you to stay. I can't seem to get enough time with you."

We made our way to the living area and sat down. He put his arm around me and I laid my head on his shoulder.

"I saw you lost in that book today." Hodari said.

"The hunting one?" I asked.

"No, the one you forgot on the table."

I felt my face get hot. I let out a nervous laugh then replied, "Oh, that? Its nothing. Just a dumb romance book." I was too embarrassed to look at him.

"Well, I won't 5 it didn't look like nothin'," he said as he gave me a sly smile then let out a chuckled.

"So what're you plans for tomorrow, Em? If you're in the area, you're welcome to come by and say hi. You know I'll always make time for you."

I looked up into his eyes and something inside me was begging me to ask him if I could just stay forever. Not only do I hate the long walk out here but I hate always having to say goodbye.

He could tell something was wrong because his expression changed to concern when he said, "Is there something bothering you, darlin'? You can talk to me."

I couldn't even look at him when I replied, "I was wondering if you'd ever be interested in letting me stay the night?"

He started fumbling for words.

"Well, I, um, I haven't really thought about it."

I knew he was lying, but I could see a little bit of fear in his eyes.

"It's okay. I don't want to push you. I know you want to take this slow, and I understand that. But, I want you to know that I'm ready whenever you're ready."

I leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm sorry, Em. I'm scared. I'm scared to get close again. I don't want to get hurt, I don't want to hurt you, and I especially don't want Najuma to go through that kind of pain again... From someone leaving... I know I shouldn't worry, but I want to make sure I'm doing this right."

He paused then quietly continued, "When I gave you my pin, I knew I wanted us to be forever."

He was no longer looking at me at this point, so I put my hand on his face and gently turned it towards me.

"Hodari, I will never know how it felt, to go through what you did, but you don't need to be afraid. There is nothing you could do that would make me want to leave." I took a deep breath. "And I decided, long before you gave me your pin, that I wanted to be with you during this life and the next."

I could see the sparkle of a tear in his eye before he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine. His kiss was gentle and it set my chest on fire. All I could think of was him. I was lost in his kiss as the room around us disappeared.

I felt one of his hands cup the back of my head while the other found its way to my hip. He kissed me deeper and I couldn't get enough. I kept one hand on his face and placed the other over his heart. It was beating fast. Faster than I would've expected from someone so stoic.

I don't know how much time had passed before we were interrupted but the creak of a door.

We both jumped in surprise and turned to see Najuma sneaking out for her nightly session in the workshop.

Hodari gave her a disapproving look then said, "I'm just gonna pretend I don't see you sneakin' out right now. But don't forget you have a busy day tomorrow."

Najuma slipped out the front door without saying anything.

Hodari let out a sigh.

"Sorry 'bout that. I should've known she'd be out here soon," he said as he rubbed the back of his neck. He'd never admit it, but he was embarrassed. Admittedly, I was too.

"It's alright," I said. "You need to be getting to bed soon, anyways. You also have a busy day tomorrow, and it's getting late. I'll stop by breakfast in the morning."

I stood up and made my way towards the front door. I needed to get going or it would be the next day before I even got home.

"Ember, wait."

Hodari stood up and made his way towards me. He took my hands in his.

"Why don't you stay here for the night, darlin'?"

I gasped. "Are you sure? Like, totally sure? I don't want to make you uncomfortable if you're not ready."

"I'm sure."

"Okay... Well, I can just stay on the couch if that will make you more comfortable."

He gave me a flirtatious smirk before leaning in close to me. I could feel his breath on my neck when he whispered in my ear, "I'll get my bed set for two."

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Hey! If you've read this far, you're a Saint. This came out so much longer than planned. This is my first time writing something that wasn't required of me. I'm still learning and would love feedback. Criticism is welcome as long as it's nice because I take everything personally. If this gets a positive response, I'd love to write a part 2, but it will be NSFW. Let me know, and thanks for reading!

Feel free to share because I'm too scared to 😅

[pseudowho]

Hi!! Thanks for the advice. From the way your ask was worded it seems like you've experienced this before too and I'm sorry. Here's an update.

So last night after I sent you the ask I decided to email my professor and ask him if I could get a new lab partner, and he basically said "Well, what did you expect? You're the only girl in a lab full of horny young men. What do you want me to do?"

As that was completely useless, I just complained about it to my boyfriend then got ready and went to my 8 am lab with this guy. As I was walking in, I read your response and decided I was over it.

Today my hair was down when I walked in (I was going to put it up as soon as I put my stuff down) and before I could put it up he came up behind me and grabbed all my hair, gathering it into a ponytail "offering" to do it for me. I loudly told him to stop touching my hair as it was making me uncomfortable and surprisingly he stopped for the rest of the lab.

But when it was over I got my stuff and left and I noticed he was following me. I guess for context there's a few things you should know about me. One, I was born and raised in the city of Chicago, and spent my childhood wandering around the city with friends or my parents and walking my dog by myself.

So needless to say, I have taken self-defense classes and am capable of fighting. I was also pretty scrappy and not afraid to trade blows a lot when I was younger so I do have more experience in fist fights than I probably should. On top of that, I may not be a particularly large or intimidating woman (I'm 5'4" on a good day, and weigh in at around 120-125 pounds. I think that's around 55 kgs and 162 cm). However, I was/have been a gymnast my entire life so I've always been made of pretty much pure muscle.

Okay, back to what happened basically I noticed he was following me, so I turned around and confronted him, asking what he wanted. He started yelling at me about how I made a big deal out of everything and that I had no right to embarrass him like that in front of our peers. When I got annoyed and turned to walk away he grabbed my arm.

While I wish I had reacted a little better, a mixture of my bad temper (I don't get mad easily but I do get mad it's not pretty) and some of my own personal trauma I reacted without thinking and broke his nose.

So yeah. He said he was going to press charges but I told him if he did I would press charges against him for sexual harassment so I'm pretty sure this is resolved and he won't bother me again (hopefully).

As someone who has broken their nose multiple times (a variety of gymnastics related incidents) I hope he gets racoon eyes and his face throbs like a little bitch for a couple of weeks.

Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that things worked out, and that I'm really grateful for your advice and words of encouragement! I'm sorry your baby was sick and hope they feel better! I've never heard of Darkest Dungeon. What's it about??

Fucking hell, you bloody legend.

He deserves it. This was a predictable escalation of events, and I'm glad we called it. Well done on the exceptional hit.

I would be careful, though. If it is at all possible, make sure you have your location shared with your boyfriend on your phone, let him know when you're walking alone. If possible, make plans to immediately call someone the whole time you're walking alone, he is less likely to attack you if he knows someone is a lovely listening for you. Make sure you send messages to people with this guy's full name, and notation within that he's sexually harassing you and that events have escalated, as this creates an evidence trail.

Make sure you do not have uncovered drinks. Walk with your keys held between your fingers. Remember, in the case of a fight, you can use the inner blade of your thumb to scratch that unnecessary top layer off the surface of his corneas. Instep, groin, eyes, bite, scratch.

I only say this, because being punched on the nose isn't suddenly going to make this man respect you. In a lot of ways, it's going to make him angrier. While I'm happy you fought back, I'm also aware that he is likely stronger than you if it really came down to a fight.

Refer your teacher's email to the correct department at your University. I suspect you're in a STEM course, contextually, and sexual harassment of women and minorities in STEM is absolutely rampant. Your teacher cannot be allowed to get away with that.

Continue making noise. Get louder, and louder, and louder if you need to. If you keep escalating it up and nobody listens, I'm sure the local press will be very interested. Make sure more than one person knows at all points.

Fight the good fight, kiddo.

EDIT: don't worry about me, I'm okay. Darkest Dungeon is a rogue like horror game, where you take a crew of ragtag bandits, plague doctors, highwaymen, crusaders, bounty hunters etc etc. to a dungeon filled with eldritch horrors, and try to clear it out. It's so cool, and harrowing, and I love it.

Proud of you!

Love,

-- Haitch, who would love to make him wish he'd never been born xxx

[secretlywritingstories]

I am turning 30 today, which is the first "big" birthday since I turned 18 more than a decade ago.

Objectively, there's nothing special about this birthday compared to the one I had last year or the one I'll have next year. But it turns into something special because we assign meaning to it, and honestly, I can't really be mad about that.

I like that we as humans make all sorts of intricate rituals throughout our lives, like choosing to celebrate birthdays and even making some of them more of a big deal because you're entering a new decade. It's fun if you make it fun.

As a child, I thought someone who was 30 would officially be a Proper Adult. Looking at my own parents as examples, it was the year that they got married after a decade together and they would be having their first child (me!) about a year later. Very adult stuff.

It was supported by the view of society too, where you are meant to find a partner, settle down, get a job and a house, and start trying to have children. Especially that last one if you were born as a girl, since obviously the biological clock starts ticking real loud when you hit the big 3.0.

Thankfully, I don't feel that way anymore. I guess it isn't that surprising when you look at how my life is at the moment. I have never had a long-term partner, and while I wouldn't mind having someone next to me in my life, I also can do okay on my own. I've got the steady job, but I rent my apartment. And children are not really something I can image committing to, and as such I am freed from that particular "universal" stressor.

Oh, and I'm queer both in terms of sexuality and gender. I think that's part of the veering off from the hetero-normative constraints that are thought to be imposed on me by reaching this age. It has been confusing at times, but I am so thankful to know this about myself now.

And I have so much good in my life, even if it doesn't necessarily look how I would have thought it was "supposed" to look like when I reached this age. I have a wonderful family, absolutely incredible friends (a lot for more than a decade and also from all over the world! how lucky can I be?), my horse Moneypenny and the family dogs. I like my job and my colleagues that I have to spend so many hours with. I'm financially stable and able to take care of myself well.

I have written and shared so, so many stories, and coming out at about 4 million words total across them all. And I have so many more stories to tell, even if I don't know what they'll be yet. That's the exciting part!

I don't have a 5 or a 10 year plan. I never really did, so I don't think I'll start now. Who cares anyway? Time will pass no matter what I plan, and life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. So many of the good things in my life has been a string of coincidences that have placed me on this path and I am quite liking the view.

Still, I'll take this chance to celebrate life, on this supposed big birthday. Being happy that I now have three decades on me and know the bulk still lies ahead of me. I'll surround myself with loved ones, have an excuse to connect with people who reach out with birthday wishes, and just spend the day well.

And frankly, I think the 30s are only going to get better than my 20s.

[bokettochild]

Today was weird O.o

So, @apparitianhanako and I went out shopping for some sister time, since we only get to hang out maybe once a month due to various reasons (adulting sucks). Anyways, we hit the mall in our town, which is mostly dead but gaining some life back because there's now actually a couple shops in the food court again (which was empty for years)

Well, what do you know, we're in line at the new smoothie place when the gal working the till pauses after we order, looks me dead and the eye and asks "are you (Legal Name)?"

I would like to note I have never, ever, in my life, met this woman. I am a homebody at best and a hermit at worst. My name and face are not associated with any of my social media except my Facebook, which is set to Private. I have no clue how this person knows my name and face! But, for lack of better to do in a public space with a small crowd standing around waiting for smoothies I say "yes?"

I think it's totally normal that I was confused, but she must have noticed and quickly said "I dated (ex-boyfriend) for a while".

And, okay, so we know the same guy and both dated him, makes sense. Thing is, I dated him four years ago, and barely have contact beyond the occasional "how are you?" or"happy birthday" or a passing "hello" at church, if that! Why would his most recent ex know anything about me? The dude has had a lot of girlfriends since we broke up!

Anyways, I still don't have any answers to that, or why she knew me by face, but Hanako ended up spilling (she's best friends with his little sister) that he's currently engaged, which made us both pause.

"He dated you how long ago?"

"A couple of months?"

Cue me losing my mind, because I have it on perfectly good authority that only a couple of months ago, he messaged my room-mate, trying to hook up with her (she's also one of my sisters) and they both almost went through with it except she got a bad feeling and called it off. (She did ask if I would hate her if she slept with my ex. I just said it would be weird but not the worst thing she could do and it didn't really matter to me)

Anyways, we put our three heads together, here in this smoothie shop order line, and work out that, apparently, he's been cheating on a good number of his girlfriends towards the ends of his relationships with them, and has also been cheating on his fiance!

Now, for the sake of that girl, I'm wishing I could say something to her, but I don't even know her name, much less how to get in touch to say "hey! I'm the ex he might have mentioned(?), and he tried sleeping with a gal I know a month or two ago, so, he might be cheating, just as a warning"

Like, that's a lot to tell a gal, but from a total stranger? About her fiance? Yeah.

Well, I can't do anything because I know nothing about the poor woman, but five hours later, the gal from the smoothie shop has apparently hunted me down on Facebook, and messages me saying 'thanks for opening my eyes to the guy I was dating. I realized none of his girlfriends deserved this, so, I'm going to reach out to the fiance and tell her he cheated on both her and me'

She then went on to say that he was apparently really oddly secretive about his family, church, and also told the girls he dated not to talk to me? (I broke up with him because life got hectic and I wasn't in a good space to be in a relationship with anyone, but we stayed on good terms) So...... that was weird.

Anyways, this feels a bit like a Carrie Underwood song, so I'm not sure what to do with that, so consider this a vent post of sorts LOL

[newtonsheffield]

We need details of this proposal!?! Or of the conversation when they decided to be exclusive. Whichever you feel so inclined to share. Please and thank you!

Hmmm… I actually think there’s a little bit of angst involved in their decision to be exclusive, but it’s also not really much of a surprise to them. Kind of like Kate’s proposal to Anthony.

The ache in Anthony’s chest only got worse when Kate chuckled against his neck. Her teeth nipped at the skin behind his ear and her tongue followed after, soft and warm and soothing.

“I should go.” Anthony cleared his throat despite the fact that all he wanted was to roll over and press her back against the soft silk sheets. He wanted to nudge her thighs apart and make her gasp his name until she forgot everything else. Until she forgot the fact that they weren’t supposed to be together.

“Do you have to?” She ran her fingers through his hair and he let himself lean against her touch.

Too close. He’d let himself get too close to her, he knew that. Anthony had known even the first time she’d claimed his lips and her hands hadn’t shaken as she’d unzipped his trousers that this was a terrible idea but he’d wanted her too much. He’d wanted anything she would give him. Just to feel the warmth of her smile turned on him and her laugh echoing in his chest. He’d slowly let himself get closer and closer until he’d found himself this afternoon with a rose tucked into the sleeve of his jacket. Hidden to give to her on Valentine’s Day. Like an idiot.

“I… kind of?” He swallowed, leaning away to get some distance from her. To clear his head. “You have that function with the King and Queen.”

Kate groaned and pressed a quick kiss against his neck again, and moved to straddle him, her skin pressed against his. “You could wait here for me, I’d be so quick. I’d be back before you know it.”

He wished they had that kind of relationship. The kind where they could spend Valentine’s Day together and no one would bat an eyelid. Where they could walk with her fingers intertwined in his instead of walking three steps behind her. But they didn’t.

“I have to go with you.”

“Mmm.” She hummed, her elbow resting on his chest, “You’ll see how pretty I’ll look then.” Kate leaned forward and her tongue traced the shell of his ear, “Maybe I’ll put on something a tiny bit sexy for you to unwrap after.”

He tried to smile but it fell flat and he saw her face fall as well.

“You’ve been… kind of distant today. Is there…? Is there something wrong?”

Anthony swallowed, forcing himself to say what he needed to, “I… I just think today was a mistake.”

Her face really fell now and it ached in his chest as she slid off his lap. “Right. Um sorry. I guess I thought you like… wanted to. Or we’re making a move with the… flower thing.”

“I… was. I just…” Anthony let out a frustrated noise pinching the bridge of his nose, “Kate, I don’t want to share you. I… I know we can’t… And I shouldn’t… but I don’t want to share you and I just think it would be better if we stopped this.”

Kate’s lips curved in a slight smile before she cleared her throat and adopted a serious expression. “Because you don’t want to share me? Is that the only reason?”

It shouldn’t be the only reason but it was. He wouldn’t care about anything else if she was his. Even hidden in the shadows. “Yes.”

Kate nodded, her arms wrapped around her legs, the blankets pulled up over her chest. “Well, you’re not sharing me. Am I sharing you? Feels like this should be even. No harem for you.”

Anthony stared at her, slack-jawed, his heart fluttering, “You’re not sharing me with anyone.”

“Good. Anyone can tell you I’m a spoiled brat. I don’t share well.” She smiled properly now as she leaned forward, straddling him again her fingernails brushing his chest, “Happy Valentine’s Day, baby.”

Anthony’s spine shivered and he wrapped his arms around her waist. One day she’d wake up and cone to her sense but not today. “Happy Valentine’s Day.” He paused for a second before he took a shuddering breath, “Is the offer of me getting to unwrap something sexy later still on the table?”

“If you’re a very good boy, yes.”

[scrollonso]

First Kiss (Race 3)

A strollonso AU where 18 year old rookie Lance Stroll falls helplessly in love with the notoriously mean world champion. (1.5k words, angst, hurt/comfort) [@v3lnys @biancathecool] {I was worried I wouldn't have motivation to write this but i got it done in one sitting LMAO}

last part - masterlist - next part

Thankfully Mark listened and stayed far away from him while the drivers were getting interviewed, leaving the rookie to just have to answer a few questions from smaller journalists.

It was nice to not be swarmed and just asked questions about his dad but he did wish he could've spoken to Fernando again before quali, seeing how much fun he seemed to be having with Mark.

Quali was decent, he got 7th so it wasn't anything spectacular but it was in the points. All he had to do was keep his spot or better and he'd count it as a good race

Before he could even reach Nico's side of the garage he heard a voice call him, though it wasn't the one he expected

"Alright, Stroll, you're the only one left" Mark announced, earning a groan fron the younger

"Mark please" He begged, not entirely serious but also not wanting to get interviewed anymore

"Fernando will but you dinner if you let me interview you" Lance wasn't one to turn down free dinner.

"What am I doing?" Fernando asked, finally reaching the garage

"Sure" Lance laughed, neither him nor Mark answering Fernandos question as the three of them left the paddock

By the time they reached a restaraunt Fernando had pieced together what exactly he was doing but he didn't really mind, the three of them had paid about the same amount while going around Australia together so it wouldn't kill him to treat the two to a little dinner.

They got seated not long after entering, Fernando and Mark in chairs while Lance sat across from them in the booth

"So, Lance. You ready for your interview?" Mark asked, having no plans on really interviewing him

"Shh," He said, bringing his finger to his lips "After Nando pays" Lance laughed, hoping Mark wasn't serious because the last thing he wanted to do after his second favourite part of the day, eating dinner (talking to Nando is first), is be interviewed.

Last nights dinner went well, Lance liked having friends, Karting had kept him from having too many growing up so having friends in F1 was a nice feeling, it gave him something to look forward to outside of the car.

Today was race day and all Lance wanted was to keep himself in the points.

He walked out of his drivers room, race suit tied around his waist (he couldn't be bothered to keep pulling it up), as usual Fernando somehow managed to completely ditch his garage and get away with it just to wish him good luck.

"Lancito, good luck today, let's see if we can get you on that podium, eh?" He smiled at him, elbowing him slightly

Lance loved seeing Fernando away from Media, he was completely different when the cameras were off, by this time in the season Lance had read the articles, seen the blogs, watched the interviews, people were convinced Fernando was some mean winning machine, he was a winning machine, yes, but the last thing he was was mean (at least to Lance.)

"Thank you, Nando, but don't be too hurt when I beat you" He flashed Fernando a cheeky grin, he wanted to beat him of course, all racers want to win, but a part of him knew that wouldn't happen

The cars all lined up and then started the formation lap, as it ended someone had already spun. Lance knew this was gonna be a hectic Grand Prix and it hadn't even started yet.

Lance stared anxiously at the lights ahead of him then everyone took off, the Australian Grand Prix had begun.

Nico was involved in a minor collision on the first lap with two other drivers, causing him to lose his rear wing, Lance was told over the radio that he was fine so he wasn't too worried, the two had gotten used to not finishing by now.

The safety car was deployed then recalled in two laps but then a driver crashed and it was deployed again. Lance was annoyed, why even bother to take it out if it was just gonna be out not even ten laps later.

They got about 20 laps in when cars started to pit and to Lance's surprise he took the lead, he was leading a Grand Prix, he heard instructions over his radio to take care of his tyres, with better cars coming back out with fresh ones he had to defend like his life depended on it.

He wasn't surprised when Fernando took back the lead, he wasnt sure why but he wasn't exactly mad about it either. He managed to build up a decent gap ahead of the driver behind him and asked if he should pit, he was advised not to so he stayed out.

On lap 32 there was another safety car, he took the chance to finally pit, getting into the pit lane first, the race starting behind the safety car again with him just behind Fernando, for the first time he had a chance to be on the podium with him, he was overjoyed at the idea, if his first podium was with Fernando he was sure it would he a memorable one.

On lap 35 the safety car was recalled but literally one lap later it was out again, they might as well have a safety car out all race at this point.

Two more cars retired after the last safety car was recalled and Lance made it to the final lap, he had managed to stay in 2nd for the past 34 laps, it was insane to him, his engineer tried not to say too much but it was obvious how excited he was for him, and now all he had to do was finish.

He had four corners left, then three, then two... then his engine blew. The car right behind him had been covered in oil and the safest thing to do was pull off the track, ten meters away from his first podium.

"I'm sorry- I'm so sorry, I was almost there, I'm so sorry, I'll try harder in San Marino-" He kept apologizing, wondering if he had made the right choice, wondering if the team would be mad at him

"Lance, It's okay, you're the driver, right? Do what you feel is best, if this is what's best then it's fine." His engineer consoled him, the canadian having a hard time not crying

He finally reached the garage, taking off his helment and his balaclava, his eyes red as he talked to his engineer at the back of his side of the garage, not noticing as the tears began to fall

"Fuck, Brad- I'm so sorry, I feel like i fucked up. I could've kept going, I should've, I almost got us a podium, I was so close." He gasped as he spoke, the Canadian distraught as he thought about his team being mad at him, what if he lost his seat because of this? The media already doesnt like him what would they say now? Was Brad lying about not caring?

"Lance, Lance it's okay, no one is mad at you for keeping yourself safe" He promised, speaking to the boy as if he was a child, which wasn't too far off

Lance couldn't respond, all he could do was cover his face, embarrassed at the reality of him sobbing after a DNF, he didn't care the other times.

Lance got himself together before Fernando came looking for him, not saying a word before dragging the rookie out of his garage

"Nando-" He started, Fernando moving them behind the Racing Point garage "Fernando what-"

Then he hugged him, without saying a word he just hugged him, arms tightly wrapped around the rookie as he sunk into his arms, unable to stop himself from crying again

"Fuck, Nando" He choked out "I feel so stupid"

"Shh, is okay, Lancito" He spoke softly, hand stroking the taller mans hair but at that moment the thing he felt was big. He was embarrassed, trying not to cringe at the reality of him crying in another mans arms but all that mattered was he felt safe in them "You did well, am so proud"

Lance hummed, sniffling as he kept his head in the crook of Fernandos neck "I'm sorry, Nando," He practically whispered "I wanted to be up there with you"

Fernando knew that, he was upset to hear Lance was no longer behind him, all he wanted was to celebrate with him, he was looking forward to it for the whole race and now he's stood there with the younger man a complete mess in his arms, he hoped San Marino would treat him better.

[bored-storyteller]

Here I am after months of absence. I hope you are all well. Things have happened, I don't have much to explain really. I don't know if this is my return, but I have some things that I wrote and never put here again so...occasionally, maybe something will show up.

I wish you all a happy life

Twisted Wonderland, Leona Kingscholar x reader

Brekfast

Leona sleeps. He sleeps a lot, now even more than usual.

He sleeps when he's fine, let alone when he's sick, when he's scared or under pressure. Even if he doesn't show it you know he still hasn't fully recovered from what happened, and it doesn't matter if it's even been months. It's not like he actually got to relax after the Overblot, it really wasn't a quiet time.

But today is Sunday, and you want to try to wake up the sleeping prince a little, to rekindle the will to live in him.

What an utopian thought, you tell yourself, but you want to try for him. If you fail at least you'll be there to watch over his sleep that encloses all the weight he has in him.

You still stop to look at that pile of blankets for a few moments, it rises and falls together with his breathing. His ears stick out from under the sheets, vibrate every now and then in small and rapid movements.

"Leona..." You murmur, without raising your voice too much; you know that deep down there's no need. A rattle rises, but no movement comes.

“Leona…” you call again, as you place the tray next to him. You know that hunger can wake him up more than you could.

It makes you laugh when the first thing that appears under the sun's rays penetrating through the shutters is his nose, which silently leans towards the scent of abundant roasted bacon.

Lots of meat, some eggs, some bread and butter, something sweet but not too much, juice as needed and more meat. Then next to his portions there is also what you like, because breakfast is for you two in theory, but you already know in principle that you won't touch food.

You give him time to emerge from his hiding place while you go to fully raise the shutters. He complains, but doesn’t articulate intelligible words.

Leona doesn't thank you, but his stomach does it for him, loudly. You laugh and he huffs as you sit on the edge of his bed.

"Good morning your highness!"

His green eyes dart at you grimly, but they don't linger long, preferring to return to the food as he carries the tray across his lap: "Are you in a good mood this morning?"

At least one of us has to try hard to be, you think, but you'd rather die than say it out loud.

“I just want to spend time with you, and today we have the day off, right?” Yours is obviously an attempt.

"I am tired." He replies with his mouth full.

Well, you shouldn't feel overly discouraged, after all you expected it. Be strong, be strong for him. He puts up with his tantrums because he's putting up with worse.

You watch him eat in silence, and slowly your positivity begins to wane, subjugated by a flood of doubts that you don't even know how to recognize.

Well, you can spend the day complaining to someone, the Heartslabyul guys stuck around, right? Or you could pay a visit to Scarabia, or one of the other dormitories. It's not that there aren't many ways to spend your days off there. You will return to Leona's in the evening. Maybe he will want to be with you more.

As you predicted, he doesn't bother advancing what you like, but you can't get mad, even if you're sorry about this. You wonder if he sees how much you are trying to make him better, how worried you are about him, and how afraid you are of only making it worse.

Does he know you love him?

And at that moment, he unexpectedly looks at you, catches you off guard like a good predator. He stands still as he watches you, suddenly sentient.

The state he finds you in is different from what he expected: you seemed so happy this morning, but now it looks like you are about to break. He sees your doubts gathering in your eyes and he's almost mesmerized by it, because he realizes you've hidden them from him so well up until that moment.

You, always careful not to hurt his pride with your concern, yet always, constantly feeling sorry for him. How could he not notice?

You clear your throat and escape him, trotting back around his room as if nothing had happened. He watches you sort through his clothes and his belongings that he doesn't even remember he has.

He looks at the now empty plates and sighs.

“Herbivore…” he calls you, setting aside blankets and tray to get up.

You hum back without turning around, as you fold a shirt left on a random chair.

"Little lion..." This time it's an experiment on his part, and your surprised smile somehow hurts him. He took you for granted, didn't he? He can't afford to hurt you too. He can’t face your happiness away from him.

“How long have I been part of your pride?” You ask him without being able to hold back that dig. His arm goes around your waist as his chin rests on your shoulder. You hear him swallow.

His voice is deep, still with a lethargic note that is slowly evaporating: “since when you are so hungry… I think I ate your breakfast too, didn't I?”

A slight smile opens on your lips: "well, I didn't stop you."

Who are you? What did you do with Leona?

For a moment he takes his time to look at your reflections drawn on the shiny mirror surface in front of you: you and him, you in his arms. You wanted this, he knows it.

“Let's go get something for you.”

You sigh, placing a hand on his cheek: "I don't like eating alone."

"I didn't say you will eat alone, I still have room."

You turn to look at him amused, but what you find is not an ironic, tired or bored look. His brows furrow as he holds you against him, he looks at you and for a second you think he's about to cry.

It's not like that, of course, but his eyes pour so much emotion into you that you think you can't hold those emerald irises anymore.

There is a murmur from him, but you don't understand. You want to ask him to repeat it, but before you can you are completely engulfed in him, and only three words are blown into your ear:

“You are my pride.”

[chansbabygirlsstuff]

hi hi !! ur writing is so cute!

Request here,

can you write something like best friend's popular brother hyunjin who secretly likes reader (she does as well but thinks she has no chance) and then one day he confesses being all shy and shes like WHAT

anything like this u can decide i love whatever you write !<3

Hey beautiful, thank you for requesting, your lovely comment made my day! ( I was having a difficult day) so with lots of love, I will do this for you!

Song recommendation: Popular by the weekend

Popular

Paring:hyunjin!x!reader!

Warning: fluff

Your POV

Mr. popular passes through the corridors, his scent leaving traces behind him, leaning against my locker my eyes follow him and walk all the way outside, his smile flashing to his friend talking about something only them will know.

"Hello? Are you listening to me?" my best friend catches my attention from him "Mhm? Yeah I am" My eyes draw to her now

"so are you gonna go?" she asked seriously "Where?" I asked confused

"I JUST TOLD YOU" Her frustration lands on me "Sorry I didn't pay attention" I truthfully say "To my house" She sighs "My stupid brother is going to bring Ashley over to the house and you know she annoys my ass like I can't stand watching her being so stupid with my brother like she is all over him and-" I cut her off before she explodes

"Hey, calm down girl it's ok, I will be there for you" I calm her down "Thanks, but you know... it's not because I'm jealous of my brother is just that she is such a pick me and every fucking girl is gushing over him and it's just so annoying" I understand her, I wouldn't like seeing my brother with some other girl in my house about every day

"do you know if they are dating?" my curious heart asks feeling a ting of jealousy "I don't know, I hope not"

We get to class and sit down, I look over at Hyunjin who is sitting in front of me, oh my poor little heart, when will you stop loving him?

4:40 pm

Yeji and I get ready to head to her house, we walk outside the school's door and feel the nice weather hitting our faces "Ain't it lovely Yeji" I smile loving this weather and wishing it would be like this everyday

"the weather is nice" she smiles and closes her sweater, "how about we watch the new movie that just came out 2 weeks ago?" she asks me "What movie?" I ask curiously "Well the tale of the nine-tailed fox" She answered my question "Oh, the one where Lee Dong-wook appears?" she nods as we get excited about thirsting over a 40-year-old man.

We get to her house open the door and leave my stuff in a chair "Let me get the popcorn ready" I say heading to the kitchen "ok girl ima put your stuff in my room and get everything ready" she shouts from the door already hearing her steps as she walks through the stairs

"hey y/n" Hyunjin smiles at me while making something to eat for himself "Hey Hyunjin" my heart drops as I didn't see him at first

It's normal for me to be at their house so he is accustomed to seeing me around here, we have known each other since I was 5 and he was 6, Yeji and I knew each other from kindergarten and we always used to play with her brother in my house or her house, so we become friends a long time ago, but I feel like it all changed since we entered high school since I was 15 we don't talk as much as before, just small talks, no more movie nights or baking time with him like we sorta got uncomfortable with each other, he also became Mr, popular at school so I believe he feels better than us now. Now I'm 17 and he is 18 and yeah we are in the same grade because his dumbass failed chemistry in 10th grade, obviously, he was so busy fucking his ex-girlfriend and doing her work for her than concentrating on himself that he was swept away 1 whole year because of it.

"How are you doing?" he asked me smiling at me and looking back down at his sandwich "I'm doing good and you?" I ask looking the popcorn to put it in the microwave. "I've been good, what are you guys doing today?" he asked me to make another of our famous small talks "We are going to watch a movie and maybe I'm staying over" I smiled and continued doing my work. "nice, lucky you, I have to do a project for history fro next week" "ah yeah the ones about the empires?" I ask "Yeah, I got put in with Ashley" he whispers and rolls his eyes at me showing his annoyance, and I laugh silently "It would've been better if I got chosen to be with you, you are pretty smart and organized, and we known each other for most of our life" he continues to finish his sandwich. "yeah right? I got chosen with Lia, so it was not bad at all, just her brother is a bit creepy" I say making a weird face remembering her brother and how immature he acts.

"oh yeah Daniel is awful" I nodded and put the popcorn in the microwave not forgetting what he said about me my tummy filled with butterflies, but again I reminded myself I couldn't let these feelings get the best of me, he barely talks to me and yeji would be so mad at me if I ever get to date him.

"But if you ever need me to him in his place please tell me and I will do it with pleasure" he smiles grabs his plate and rubs my head while passing by to the living room.

my cheeks got all red by his touch, I placed my hands over them to soothe them down the popcorn finishes and I get out of the kitchen

"oh Hyuinjin you so funny" I hear a girl exaggerating her laugh, ofc she is here, I feel a bit down and go to Yeji's room.

"everything is ready" I get to her bed and put the bowl in the middle of both of us she starts the movie and we are already melting by seeing Dong Wooks face.

something in me doesn't let me concentrate on the movie and a tinge of jealousy gets to me, it should've been me who was with Hyun-jin right now, not Ashley.

7:24pm

"May I join" Someone opens the door and looks at Yeji with pleading eyes "No go fuck yourself" She stretches and lays down in another position, so I move aside and pat the side of my bed to let Hyunjin join us "See she's nice, unlike you?" he says getting on the bed sticking his tongue out at her "no y/n why did you let him in!" she groans while saying it getting annoyed and moving to the side of the bed to give me more space, he lays on his stomach and hugs a small pillow and gets near me, his head touching my arm of how close he is to me.

Butterflies run through my stomach as I try to control my breathing so I do not blush.

15min later

"He's not that even good looking," He remarks making both of our heads look at him "Shut up you dickhead, he is the most handsome guy to ever exist" She throws a pillow at him, but he throws it back, sitting up and getting comfortable back in the sheets, now sitting like I've been doing this whole time, but our arms connect he looks down on me and smiles, I smile back and quickly look back at the movie, now I do feel my cheeks blush

"did you see how hot Lee Yeon's brother is?" yeji asked me "Yes Rang has that type of bad boy vibe right? but he is so gentle on the inside like he is so cute" I say as we comment on the series. But I feel Hyuinjins head on my shoulder hugging my arm trying to get comfortable on the bed, Yeji gives her back to me and I see her sleepy eyes trying to fight the urge to fall asleep, I pat her head gently making sure she gets some rest but I feel Hyun-jin caressing my arm with his thumb up and down. I feel his breath get more relaxed but I tense up feeling nervous about him.

I try to ignore it and continue watching the movie "Yeji look at the puppy" I pout looking at how cute he is "yeji?" I called her again but I heard no response from her "Did she fall asleep already?" he asked me

"mhm, I think she did" I try to shake her but she does not react, hating that she left me alone with her brother again.

"mmh ok, I'm going for something to eat wanna come?" I nod and get out of bed with him turning the TV and lights off for yeji to sleep as we walk out to the kitchen.

"what are you craving?" he asks me "What about some ramyeon?"

"Sure that sounds good" he started to boil the water while I took the packets out

"so... how did the project go? I asked curiously about the 2 of them

"it was... ok I guess, I kinda ended up doing it all by myself and she was very annoying btw," he said a bit disappointed.

"well I'm sorry to hear that," I said relieved to hear that it didn't go well between them, he got next to me to grab the cups of noodles, and our hands brushed each other, our eyes met and our bodies froze

He pecked my lips and stared into my eyes waiting for my reaction, my eyes widened and my mouth gaped looking at him in shock, but I didn't say anything staying in the same position.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't done that without asking you, I-I thought t-that maybe you wanted i-it"he stutters nervously looking everywhere but my eyes.

"W-why did you kiss me?" I asked in shock, his face in fear "I'm sorry y/n I couldn't stop myself I don't know what came over me, I-Ii just really like y-you and-"

"You WHAT?!"

"I like you y/n, I have since we were young" I stare at him in pure shock

"wait so wait what? so you like me? And you tell me until now?"

"what do you mean until now? I was scared you were going to reject me"

"I would never reject you Hyunjin, I've liked you since I was like 8," I said a bit angry that this didn't happen before

"YOU LIKE ME?!?!" he raises his voice in shock and joy

"yeah I do" I get a bit shy saying it out loud

he cups my cheeks and kisses me delicately his lips feeling soft, tasting him on my lips is kind of my new obsession.

when we separate ourselves in our eyes we see our future we just started.

and that is how I started to date Mr popular.

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[v-anrouge]

My birthday is coming to an end and i really just wanted to thank you all for the love and kindness you've shown me everyday, especially today, in light of recent events realizing how much of a bad person i am and how many people ive hurt i started to wonder if i wasn't better off deactivating and never speaking to anyone here ever again save for a few people i at least knew weren't hurt by me. i talked to my dear friend Aru and talking to her allowed me to think more thoroughly about things, i also wrote some more on my journal, i still feel terrible and i still don't think i deserve to be treated and received with such kindness after everything ive done but seeing you all treat me like this really made me emotional, especially when i know i haven't been doing the same back to you all, im really sorry for how terrible i was and still am, as i am far from being healthy and only just started to try and get better, and i know some things will take very long to fix but i am very lucky to have found people like you all who are very understanding and supportive, the kind of people i usually push away because im scared ill hurt them someway (which proved itself true huh) but it also made me realize a few things. it's no use of me to ask for you opinions and after hearing deactivating and running away, i made many mistakes and i need to be here to own up to them, as well as to make it up for you guys in any ways i am able to, and that maybe just maybe i can make things right eventually and take this as a learning experience to live in a better way, i don't know when ill go back to posting passionately about my hyperfixations instead of just posting random things but i am gonna try because i have so many followers for very low quality posting, my college is finally gonna go on break so ill hopefully have some more free time to replay twst and analyse my favs deeper and understand them more and hopefully make some good posts like i used to

this got long and idk if it even makes sense but for the final part; thank you all for the support i seriously don't know what i did to deserve you guys but im really really happy to have you around, i promise to be better, thank you all for the birthday wishes :3c