#also tbh one of those was just so tone-deaf like there was one line that was i guess supposed to be positive but i was like

[isan0rt]

Good Lord. Okay. Listen. We all agree that pre-timeskip Houses Dedue is not doing so great in the mental health department. We all agree on that. My guy needs therapy about his survivor's guilt and his PTSD and we're all agreed his self deprecation is Intense but like.

Listen. You can't…address that without also acknowledging he's like that because people have been Fucking Racist To Him Constantly for the Last Four Years of his Goddamn Life. And not like, just ‘microaggressions at the workplace’ racist, though also that too. Like, ‘somebody might fucking murder him’ kind of racist. He's not just insecure or whatever. This man is trying not to get hate-crimed.

It's rational, actually, for Dedue to assume that Any Given Faerghan is gonna be racist to him, because before going to Garreg Mach every given Faerghan except Dimitri HAS BEEN super mega turbo racist to him everywhere he goddamn goes. There's no reason for him to believe his classmates are gonna be different. Like, he doesn't know Mercedes is from the Empire! He has no reason to believe Chivalrous Knight Fanboy Ashe doesn't hate Duscur and everyone from there for regicide. Annette is the only one with a pass and only because Dedue respected Gustave until he went out for cigarettes and never came back, abandoning not only Dimitri but also Dedue in the process. The safest thing is to assume people are gonna come at him hot and preemptively deescalate the situation.

Like, he suffers from the “you can get C and B supports after the time skip” weirdness for sure, but even in his C supports, even if you get them before the skip, he is fully willing to tell Felix where to stick his fucking grapes, and he's willing to tell Ingrid she can be as big of a bitch about it as she wants but he's still going to do his job on the battlefield even if that means keeping her alive. He's consistently assertive of his boundaries with Dimitri in all their supports, including when Dimitri wishes that he did not have a particular boundary (using Dimitri's name and calling each other friends, things it's actually physically not safe for pre timeskip Dedue to do).

Because he is confident Dimitri isn't gonna fucking lose his mind at Dedue about it. He's also confident Felix, Ingrid, and Sylvain won't do a hate crime at him if he's acting in capacity of Dimitri's Vassal because of their fundamental loyalty to Dimitri, so he can safely tell them to shove it also. He tells Gustave he's a disappointment to Gustave’s face in their support!! Dedue isn't just a shrinking violet or whatever, he's just judicious about what shit he's gonna start, and how likely it is that talking shit is gonna get him hit.

(Also, yes he's a quiet guy... But also he's interacting with all these people in his second language, which he has no formal training in and which he learned from Dimitri. He really has to think about what he's going to say before he says anything because there is very little margin for error for him to misspeak without consequences and he knows it.)

Honestly unpopular opinion because like while I'm under no illusions that they did clearly fake out killing him for reasons other than his personal growth, I actually think it was in Dedue's personal best interest that he spent the timeskip in Duscur. This man hates Faerghus, he says that to Dimitri in their supports, but he's been stuck with them and having to just put up with it because he had nowhere else to go (even aside from the fact that Dimitri is literally the only living person in the world who loves him and he's terrified of losing that).

He's very clearly much more self-actualized when he returns, and in a much more relaxed and self-assured emotional place after the timeskip. Probably because he wasn't the one and only Highly Visible Do A Racism Here target and instead was with his own community, where he could actually unpack all that shit safely. Dedue needed that time outside the Racist Aggression Bubble of Faerghus to deal with his survivor's guilt properly.

You really can't address Dedue's self-image issues without also digging into the way dealing with constant racism reinforces those issues. You super cannot. Race and racism and how he deals with it is critical to the character. Is it always handled gracefully by the narrative?? No, absolutely it's not, but it is in fact in the narrative and you HAVE to engage with it if you're going to engage with Why Dedue is Like That.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

So I’ve been thinking about this for a long time and your posts about transcripts brought it back into my mind - what about using subtitles or transcripts to communicate similar things about the character that tone of voice communicates, or a use of colorful onomatopoeia to create a similar experience to hearing the sound? You mentioned “C U later”; is that still a joke if the character is (for example) a 2000s texting addict and it communicates things about how they see the world?

I’m asking because I’m working on an independent audio drama, and starting to plan for production, and as I’m not Deaf or HOH I’m torn between eventually releasing the scripts as official transcripts or making alterations to reflect actors’ delivery or audible character traits. I want to give any readers as close to an identical artistic/emotional experience as possible, with the words used to communicate humor or personality quirks in ways that match how hearing audience members would experience them. It’s always felt to me (as someone who’s disabled in other ways and often has to make do with lesser experiences) that the subtitles should be just as thoughtfully and artistically done; am I completely offbase in what the access needs are here? Would releasing both official scripts and altered ones that better reflect the experience/emotions of hearing a word simultaneously square that circle?

(You truly don’t have to answer this at all! I asked because you’re incredibly thoughtful and I appreciate a lot of what you say about disability in nerd and fandom spaces, and you’re also the only person I know really talking about this stuff.)

So in theory, I would be okay with something like this, but it's so hard to do this sort of thing without making the transcripts harder to understand and generally less accessible for disabled viewers and non-native speakers.

The primary goal of transcripts should ALWAYS be to provide clear and accurate text of the audio, including both dialogue and relevant sounds, and anything else added should not come at the cost of that accuracy. I think adding tone indicators (like "somber", "choked up", "to themself", etc), to tell the audience how certain lines are verbally delivered, can be really helpful and useful for a Deaf and HoH audience that wouldn't be getting that nuance with just the text, but changes to things like spelling are unnecessary and make the transcripts inaccessible to portions of the audience dependent on them.

You also have to keep in mind whether those transcript changes are actually necessary for a Deaf/HoH audience to understand the character. . . and if they are, why? Why is that characterization not shown? If a character is obsessed with texting, wouldn't that be shown in the rest of the show/movie and understandable for the audience without the transcripts using difficult to understand text speech for verbal speech?

I would really recommend reaching out to Deaf and HoH people to consult on your transcipts tbh. This is a complicated situation that can't be answered easily, especially without actually seeing the transcripts and changes in question, and it's something that people are typically paid to review and help with. If this is important for you and the studio you're working with, hiring a Deaf consultant for the transcripts would be the best bet.

[iceinherheart-kissonherlips]

If Moffat or Chibs had done a child stealing goblin episode it would've had people performatively up in arms while still not grasping why it might be considered offensive tbh because a lot of people don't know why or refuse to acknowledge why unless they can use it against creators they hate. And it's infuriating. The fact that there's silence when RTD does these things or has lines like the colors one shows that those fans don't give two shits about racism and/or antisemitism, just whether or not it's done by their fave or something that can be used as an excuse to bash creators they don't like. Like. Idk it's just exhausting to watch the fandom rn

Yeah. It is kind of baffling. And over they years I've understood that some people will hate on certain creators no matter what (and by that, in this case, I mean the Moffat hate boner some people had back in the day and still have until now. I can't say anything about Chibs, bc I haven't watch enough of his era and I haven't been up to date to know what people think about him). And let's get things straight: I do prefer Moffat's writing. But do I think he's the greatest and have never done any mistakes? No, I don't think so. Do I hate RTD? No. I don't think he's a bad writer either. He's quite brilliant actually. I just think he's inability to let go of some aspects of his first era makes him repetative and tiring.

But yeah, it is kind of baffling that people have no problem with RTD putting these things in the script. I get it's not just him, but also the producers & other people at BBC, but still - it was in the script. It was put in the episode. That they let the first black actor playing the Doctor to run without trousers in his first episode. That a black character was once again an emotional crutch for the poor little white meow meow who happens to be RTD's fave. As for the goblins - I don't believe that they were written in bad faith, just quite tone deaf. But I understand that some people felt like it was antisemitic/offensive. But as you said - if it had been done by Moffat/Chibnall, people would've been angry and up in their arms. And some of them would be the same people who say that Moffat is racist for killing Danny Pink, but have no problem with calling Mickey 'the idiot' or who don't see that Ten was actually pretty shitty towards Martha. But RTD's era has really that kind of grasp on some fans and they're able to excuse a lot when it comes to it. Which is guess it's just how people behave - we all have our biases and vices, but it's still mind-boggling. Idk, when it comes to the "'60th"' specials I feel gaslighted with almost everyone being like 'omg, these were the best thing ever!!!!' and I am just sitting here with my half-finished bottle of wine being like 'were they?', because I know that if things like that has been pulled with other Doctors/companions - the pitchforks would be out and heads would roll lol.

[aho-dapa]

Haha hello I just got some thoughts as well

As someone who has both white and mexican/indigenous heritage, Lucien’s skin changing from ‘golden’ to pale never really stood out to me since that’s what my own skin does, but whenever I do picture him in my head he’s always a bit brown. But eh, I don’t think I’m the best at remembering character description because this whole time I thought cassian had at least some facial hair, but he doesn’t. I was supremely devastated when I found out.

(Sjm why do you not have men in your series have facial hair, like at all, are you afraid??

Oh, shit, no, because the only one I can remember rn is papa archeron??)

Either way, despite this, I don’t think she handled this well, even growing up I’m sure Lucien might have had some identity struggle. At least.

Like as someone who’s always kind of been hyper aware of my skin color because of how it changes, I find it difficult that it didn’t affect Lucien in some way. Like even his brothers (who I picture pasty white) may tan but I feel like even in that there might be differences that sjm simply doesn’t even think about. Like does it darken faster, deeper, does he not get sun burnt the same way? Even small things like facial features go a long way, but then again ambiguousness is what sjm excels at, so?? I don’t have much faith in her trying to explain even these small things can cause a rift in identity.

Not only that but since Lucien is in the spring court, I bet his skin darkens as well there, maybe not so much in autumn because of clothes and temperature., but then again I have no idea.

And then also going back to the name thing , I genuinely question how a character is being portrayed on whether or not they have a name. When this happens, they’re likely not even a character at this point but a plot device. Like with LoA. It genuinely disturbed me how Feyre got defensive because Helion didn’t help her (when it’s known that wars can happen if a fiancée/wife is stolen by a another court/something she was forced to confront herself with rhysand which tbh is almost ironic because rhysand did steal Feyre away until she no longer wanted to leave and yknow who didn’t start a war over that??) sjm could have built up the politics and customs of the courts right there in that plot line but she didn’t. And she doesn’t.

But then again this is my main criticism of sjm, it takes more than skin tone to define a culture. Culture is inherently about practices and world views that shape who you are differently to those around you. That’s why culture is interesting and beautiful. But none of this nuance is even brought to sjm’s world. And when she does try, she fucks up and it’s actually miserable to read.

Also in this scene, it comes off as if Helion is disdainful of LoA for choosing Beron, which, really, that’s so tone deaf and antithetical to who sjm is trying to portray Helion as. He’s smart, cunning, willing to appear cutthroat, even being two-faced at the meeting. But I genuinely don’t understand how he can go from sad and upset that she was married off by her family at a young age and then get upset for her choosing Beron. Like, I don’t even know how to explain how this rubbed me the wrong way (and I also blame this on sjm because I honestly have no clue what she’s trying to say here or even if she’s realizing that she’s actually doing something here, it’s sending a message I don’t think I like and tbh feels a bit victim blamey)

Also Feyre matriarchal mortal queens thing is so dissonant and she never explains why. Why can Feyre live where woman are royals, yet everything operates as a patriarchal society?? Everything is the same and there’s no changes to her world because of this. It’s just a cool little thing we’re supposed to cheer and point at.

Also yeah sorry, this spiraled into more than I thought

I Like the Lucien / Helion Plot - But Also!?

So as much as I objectively enjoy all of the Lucien/Helion/Lady Autumn intrigue and think that this plotline overall adds to the depth of the characters/world of ACOTAR - we can't really deny that some objectively WEIRD and honestly terrible choices were made in the creation of this.

I want to start off by addressing the great big elephant in the room which is that Lucien is primarily described with the same "golden skin" BS that SJM is known for now - but at the same time, *Tamlin* is ALSO described as having bronzed or golden skin. Lucien is then later described as being pale, and as having a resemblance to Beron, who is extremely pale. The impression that you might get from book one (and book two, honestly) is that Tamlin and Lucien are white guys who spend time outside in the Spring Court, as opposed to the faeries who were imprisoned Under the Mountain, who haven't seen the sun in years. (For context: I also am a white person! In the summers I worked as a lifeguard, I spent lots of time in the sun and I developed a deep brown sun tan that often lasted for months, even into the winter when I was spending more time indoors! I've also known white people who have gold or olive undertones to their natural skin, so describing characters as "golden" or "tan" does not immediately lead me to assume that a character is non-white.) I've seen reviewers refer to this writing tic of SJMs' as "Kardashianing" her characters - which honestly, might be the case. She really wants to be seen as a writer who puts out diverse and empowering work but also - she's demonstrably doing the bare minimum AND when she does include non-white, non-straight representation, she tends to do a really bad job at it!

In short, these descriptors are super super weird, given that Lucien is meant to be a mixed race character. ZERO effort is put into the narrative at any point in order to meaningfully distinguish him from SJM's endless roster of white heroes. He's explicitly stated to resemble his pale-skinned family at various points. The main information we get from the narrative other than "red hair" and "mechanical eye" is that Lucien's beauty is "cruel," as in he's in a total heart-breaker, but given that SJM is constantly coming up with new ways to describe the Most Handsomest White Guys Ever, this doesn't MEAN anything.

We do, however, get the reveal of Lucien's heritage in the absolute stupidest way possible.

So, it's now Book 3 of ACOTAR. All of the High Lords - the most powerful people in Prythian (who are, of course, all less powerful, cool, and handsome than Most Handsome and Powerful Guy Ever, Rhysand) - have all been in a room with Feyre for the first time since she was Under the Mountain, and she finally gets to observe them in close quarters.

Later, Helion - who is described as being dark-skinned, thereby showing that SJM does, in fact, know how to make a character explicitly non-white even if she doesn't do any work putting her non-white characters in cultural context - shows up at the Night Court slumber party and gives some vague information about the time that he once had an affair with Lady Autumn.

Upon learning this, Feyre goes, "Omg, he's totally Lucien's REAL father!!! They even look alike!!"

And Rhysand goes, "OMG!!!! You're SO right, Feyre, and I can't believe I didn't realize the truth until right this very minute!!!"

There are a LOT of issues with this. This scene is apparently meant to show how clever and observant Feyre is but - there are just so many assumptions being made here that it just comes out of left fucking field! To go on a brief tangent, the narrative basically reveals the "truth" of Lucien's parentage, which somehow nobody but Feyre ever guessed, and then immediately condemns Helion for not rescuing Lady Autumn from her abusive husband, because Rhysand rescued Feyre from HER depression so every man should do the same thing. At this point, we have no other information on their relationship so it's frankly bizarre that Feyre is so judgemental towards Helion about this. And to that end - the Lady of Autumn is UNNAMED and has exactly one speaking line in the entire books! At this point, she's not even a character, she's just a sad, silent victim for Helion and Lucien to angst about!

Furthermore, this reveal is now contingent on the fact that Helion is not white, and Lucien looks like him, therefore, Lucien is not white! Except, and I CANNOT emphasize this enough - not a single iota of narrative effort was put into describing him as a nonwhite character until this point.

Now, Feyre does know Lucien and has spent some time with him, so this begs a lot of questions: Is Lucien apparently so pale that Feyre didn't realize he wasn't white until she physically saw Helion's face and then put two-and-two together? That seems to be what the narrative wants you to think, except in that case, why the HELL is Rhysand surprised about the parentage reveal?? Because Rhysand is supposed to be Helion's close personal friend, someone who has known both Helion AND Lucien for centuries and who can also read minds. Why, instead of just blindly accepting Feyre's theory, doesn't he say something along the lines of, "You know what, Feyre, I've also suspected that for a long time - but we should keep it between us, because we could put Lucien and his mother in serious danger if we start throwing accusations of infidelity around, even if they're true!" A line like that would go a long way to showing the type of character Rhysand is supposed to be - clever, ancient, politically savvy but with a kind heart - because as it stands, he looks straight up stupid!

I want to emphasize again that I LIKE this plotline on the surface - but I would like it a lot more if SJM put literally any effort into making Lucien a mixed character in a meaningful way, instead of something that's tacked on at the last minute.

As it stands, I'm terribly certain that the reveal of his parentage has something to do with SJM's genuinely shitty morality system. Because Lucien - who is shown to be self-sacrificing to an extreme degree, who is shown to be fair, compassionate, and loyal to Feyre even when it puts his own safety at risk - for some reason, needs to be "redeemed" in the narrative. In ACOMAF, his character is tainted by Beron's blood and his loyalty to Tamlin (a close person friend who is also Lucien's boss) - and so, he can't help Feyre, can't rescue her, and therefore is condemned. In ACOWAR, those two things are neatly cut out of his character arc. He gets sexual trauma fostered on him so that Feyre can consider him worthy of help and rescue from the Spring Court, and then, oh, by the way, it turns out that Lucien isn't actually an example of a young man who actively chooses to go against his abusive father and treat people with respect despite his tremendous trauma! No, in fact, Lucien's REAL father is one of the good guys, someone who never did any abuse!! Lucien was GOOD all along, don't you see!?! Unlike Tamlin, whose dad was an abusive POS and Tamlin just follows in his footsteps because he was always destined to be bad just like his father!!!

Or, ya know, whatever BS that SJM believes in.

It stinks in so many ways: the casual racism, the black-and-white doomer thing, the sheer LAZINESS of the writing.

This is my second time writing this post and while I definitely feel my analysis is better here, I still don't have a good way of ending it. I just kind of think that even if I like the plotline, it's still questionable and was introduced in the stupidest way possible.

[raventrigonsdaughter]

Just a reminder that just because some of the fandom is starting to realize the dimitrescu family wasn't the default happy wholesome family many though they were and are now taking it back because of a single vinyl cover it does NOT mean Alcina did not love her children, there are SO MANY things that say she loved them so much, the flowers close to her heart the concept art made a decision to put on spotlight, the table placement, her lines, Daniela's part of the game and the list goes on, they aren't human, grief is relative and extremely personal and its canon Alcina is not on her best mind and only gets worse with the time ethan wrecks shit up, they are also pretty much a 19 century aristocrat coven family of vampires, and Village is a horror game, they told a history with clues everywhere down to the concept art about how they ARE a family and them NOT being the wholesome "mom does no wrong" family people though they were does not take any of that away, those things aren't mutually exclusive, they are a family, they love each other, they grieve and i would go as far as to go back to my previous analysis on Alcina as a Tyrant like character and say the daughters deaths, like the usual Tyrant hearts gameplay dynamic, are the things that break alcina with time.

Again guys, you can keep writing the wholesome family in fanfics, hell every lord is writen that way in fanfics, but you can and should understand that the Dimitrescu family being rigid, formal with each other, that they have a hyerarchy, that they aren't the perfect or the peak of mom and babies interactions DOES NOT take away how much they love each other and how much even CAPCOM in other arts that came after the game as well as the production sees them as a close family who love one another, BOTH. CAN. COEXIST

Edit: gonna give a quick example with another vampire, Dracula from castlevania netflix series and his relationship with his son, look at me in the eye and say that man didn't love his kid even after everything

Edit 2: also a reminder that there are fireplaces and heaters all over the castle, way more than it's common and lemme tell you, as a architecture student, WAY more than what its safe, i for real don't think she's abusive to her kids, she loves them, and i can't phantom her hurting them physically, if anything i'd say she's tone deaf or cruel the way she was to cassandra during the "act like my daughter" line under pressure or certain situations, which again given that they are not human and far from modern its very far from the abuse most people would think about, as most iterations of her male romanian counterpart aka dracula, she loves her kids, she simply isn't as touch feelling and close and unpersonal as many make her be, as many make ANY of the lords be tbh, she's canonically a evil and cruel woman who demands respect and obedience, her daughters respect and love her above anything, it's unusual and maybe doesn't look like it but they still love each other regardless of that, there are way to many clues poiting to that than there are of her not loving her children

[thenightshadeyaksha]

The Genshin Boys: Their type

what i think genshin boys type would be... y'all this is rushed asf and was written in like 10 mins on a bus so don’t think this chicken-scratch even matches  my actual writing, I was the English valedictorian after all.

Xiao (my beloved emo yaksha)

I personally think he doesn’t give a shit how you look, the man is 2000+ years old he’s above that, I think its more personality for him. someone quiet, calm and preferably not clingy is all he wants, someone he can bask in the presence of without having them talking and bothering him 24/7 so he is still able to attend to his duties as a yaksha (same here bestie)

Albedo (my beloved mad scientist)

He also isn’t one to care about looks, he wants someone smart, calm, quiet and confident. I think smarts is probably the biggest factor he wants someone to ramble about alchemy and have them understand and get into deep conversation with and maybe even double as his lab partner. I don’t see him being able to deal with an airhead considering he doesn’t have the greatest attention span.

Scaramouche (Will he do the fandango?)

He isn’t picky about looks but you HAVE to be shorter than him, he loves being taller than you it makes him feel powerful. as for personality I think he would like someone that is either a really smart sadist like him or a masochistic airhead that he can use to his liking. 

Xingqiu (my beloved book twink)

Looks don’t matter but he’d prefer if you were shorter so he could tease the living shit out of you for it (i know from experience), as for personality and other shit you better be smart otherwise he probably won’t even pay you any attention, as for books it would be easy to win him over if you were also a bookworm but if not it doesn’t matter I guess you just have to be good at pulling pranks.

Chongyun (the Hotter Jack Frost)

TBH I think he would be grateful for anyone to be looking at him romantically...or sexually. I’m sorry but this mans ego is so low from Xingqiu’s pranks that it doesn’t matter if your looks are akin to a deformed hillichurl and your an absolute airhead he would love you no matter what. (i bet your really pretty/handsome tho)

Kaeya (Sexy Snowman)

OK so i originally wrote this differently but someone was kind enough to point out a few things in his voice lines and story that contradict what my dumb ass wrote and i also sorta hated the old nickname i gave him so heres the edited version:

Kaeya does care about looks and prefers attractive people that he can show off  for looks but he also admires smart and outgoing people.i feel like he wouldn't care as much about looks if you were very well educated and spoken person.

old version:

This man is super picky i’m sorry bestie, he wants one of those (very obviously photo shopped) Instagram models, but at the same time he want someone flirtatious, funny and extroverted. hes got really high standards...sorry Kaeya but i don’t think your going to get  much from a %50 plastic %50 Photoshop guy/gal with the personality and intellect of a brick wall. (this ain’t Kaeya slander i love him but you can’t tell me this isn’t accurate)

Diluc (Flame daddy)

Poor bby, he just wants someone that loves him for who he really is and isn’t a knight of Favonious other than that he can’t ask for much more.

Child(e)

Hey girlie hold still ;) honestly I cant decide weather he’s similar to Kaeya with the whole Instagram model thing or he just has this sorta love at first sight thing going on other than that i have no idea. oh also i guess it pays to be a horny mf in this situation.

Bennett (pure bby)

he is grateful for anyone that even wants to hang around with him due to everyone avoiding him because of his bad luck, he would love you no matter what well as long as your not evil.

Razor (rawr XD)

he was raised by wolves so he’s not really picky as long as his Lupical like you, although he would probably refer to you as his mate...

Venti (tone-deaf bard)

he want a sugar mummy/daddy/glucose guardian to buy him wine jk, jokes aside i think he’d probably like someone carefree, friendly and with the same views on freedom as he does.

Zhongli (Geo Daddy)

as much as i hate this earth-bending grandpa i shall put up with him to appease the simps, he probably wants someone with a lot of money so he can stop freeloading off Childe or a person with a similar intellect to himself so then you both can freeload of Childe :)

ok bestie that concludes this please send requests in my ask box because im bored asf and need prompts.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

idk how many people would even want to see this BUT i wanna yell about Leela and Brax so here's a list of all their scenes togethr/scenes pertainng to them that i can recall (pLEASE add on if i missed anything/ you have any additional thoughts!! i could talk about these two all day!)

right off the bat in Weapon of Choice when Leela is on the outskirts of the Citadel and Brax goes to bring her back (which is interesting in and of itself, bc usually i would imagine a chancellery guard would go do that so what made Brax decide to instead??), Leela kinda goes off at him bc she's hurting and instead of trying to actually explain what's going on Brax doesn't even try to argue he just says "we need you" which is great bc Leela has that instinctive desire to be needed and to help people and he's speaking right to that -- also as far as we know, this is Leela and Brax's first actual meeting in canon? it's implied that they know of each other, which makes sense, but it doesn't seem like they've ever directly interacted before: Brax seems almost slightly uncertain, and Leela is combative, but when he's gentle with her she's actually quite receptive

the literal next scene after that, where the OT4 is all in one room for the first time (they still kinda hate each other at this point but still !!!). Narvin explaining Gryben and being a real jerk about it and Leela (understandibly!) questions if Gryben is a prison world, and Brax (who to this point has been mostly quiet as Narvin and Romana brief Leela) jumps in to both clarify Narvin's previous xenophobic statements while also maintaining the inherent questionable/negative connotations

(btw it's actually pretty important to note that Romana self-edits herself a lot when talking to Leela, especially in the earlier seasons; you can actually hear her revising the things she says to put it in terms that she thinks Leela will better understand. and i mean she does it out of genuine consideration for her friend associate but it often comes across as varying levels of patronizing. Narvin also obviously "dumbs things down" when dealing with Leela early on, but like... Brax never does that on any level. the only difference i can tell in how he addresses Leela vs how he talks to anybody else is that he seems much more kind with her than almost anyone else???)

their conversation about the Matrix in The Inquiry: this is REALLY important (and if you've ever talked to me on ao3 i've probably gone off to you about it lol) because it's layered. they're talking about the Matrix but they're also not because in answering Leela's question Brax is making a very thinly veiled allegory (which he outright states a minute later) to Time Lord society/politicians/most importantly HIMSELF -- he's actually strangely open about his morals/beliefs in this scene and i'm living for it tbh -- and i find it very interesting that even though he does directly explain what he means ("how do you know all this?" / "because i am a politician.") he also leaves it for Leela to work out the implications. like it's a very nuanced conversation bc there's double meaning in it and most people on Gallifrey seem to think that Leela is tone-deaf and can't pick up on that stuff (even Romana sometimes oversimplifies things to her) but Brax totally just lets her take from it what she will bc he believes her intelligent enough to understand. he doesn't think her any lesser because she's human.

ALSO on a secondary note to the above: the fact that Leela has a question/needed clarification (sorry, haven't listened to this in a while i forget how it actually happened) and actively sought out Brax to talk to about it?? like she knows Romana better she could have gone to her but i feel like Leela kinda imprinted on Brax and someone she can go to for help if she needs it; maybe it's partly bc she knows he's under marginally less pressure than Romana is but also the truth of the matter is that Brax was the most genuinely helpful person to her in the previous stories and that probably means a lot to her (esp. bc he acts like the essence of everything she hates about Gallifrey but he doesn't treat her the way she would expect from that). btw this topic is gonna come up again in a hot minute

that part where Brax gives her that information that might help her re: the Andred thing, even though he really probably shouldn't have done that -- it kinda makes me think about what he must have been like with Theta tbh???

actually this is mostly my own conjecture but there's some neat stuff in Spirit bc during the *waves hand vaguely* bodyswap dream sequence thing, Romana is very "!!!! Brax can help us !!!" which is tecnically Leela brain talking, so like there's the implications of the stuff i've said above about Leela having this idea of Brax where she knows he's someone she can go to for help

can u tell i'm soft for them

Leela sounding really sad/distracted when she talks about how Brax isn't there YES i'm grasping at straws but a lot of this relationship really is conveyed through the voice acting bc of how little direct focus there is on the characters. there's actually several scenes in Mindbomb where she mentions him and she outright says that she misses him during her discussion with Matthias

that implied scene with them in Mindbomb!! i have a Lot of thoughts about that!!! it's all conjecture and fanfic fodder!!! but the reason i mention this is because it seems pretty meta that out of the whole Gally Gang, it's Leela who first sees Brax when he comes back to Gallifrey and in turn she's the first person (besides Matthias, i guess) that he sees upon his return?? idk i just feel like that's somehow a meaningful detail??? also her reaction of utter shock after spending the entire episode missing him and how worked up she is when she tries to tell Romana, like I desperately need to know what happened in this missing scene MR RICHARDS PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED

Leela insisting on going with Brax when Pandora starts hurting him and their whole conversation there is just. so good. like they're both just so soft and then when Darkel comes in Leela instantly goes into protective mode. like they just have such an open relationship bc Brax doesn't even try to be all pretentious with her, like he doesn't even try to keep up any facades when he's with her he's just very genuine and it really says a lot about both of them -- Leela is so good at seeing people, like getting down to the core of who people are and what makes them them (which is why she's good for Romana, btw, bc Romana has a lot of identity issues) and Brax is so tangled up in who he presents himself as that he barely knows who he actually is anymore but Leela can see that and she makes it so he can truly be himself and he doesn't have to hide. also she's so gentle with him when they talk about Pandora, she's very caring and empathetic and wants to make sure he's okay and i am WEAK

it's been a hot while since i listened to Panacea but I think i remember Brax being really soft with Leela when he first brings the gang to the Axis, like just sounding really glad to see her

ok other than the fact that Brax is lowkey relatable in Reborn (daydreaming fanfic about yourself/people you know? simping for Mary Tamm Romana? yeah mood, my man) there's that scene where they're first appraoching the Citadel on the alt!Gallifrey and it seems like none of them, and Brax specifically, have seen it from the outside in a good long while bc he's very in awe and he tells Leela that he wishes she could see it and he sounds sO hEcKiNg sOFT oh my word-

and once again with Leela thinking of Brax as someone she trusts for help: in Dissassembled when everything is going to crap she straight-up says that she wants to go find Brax bc he'll know what to do/be able to help

at the beginning of Annihilation when Romana is depressed and questioning if Brax truly was her friend and Leela INSTANTLY, NO HESITATION assures her that he was; i lost where i had her exact lines written down but she actually kinda goes off to make sure Romana gets the point

literally forcing myself to talk about this bc it makes my brain stall out but like,,, the Brax Hound in Annihilation,,, Leela being like "goodbye, Braxiatel... again" she sounds so sad and like UGH i always kinda forget how sad it actually is for them to lose Brax in Dissassembled bc like, it was so sudden and they didn't get to say goodbye and Leela is always losing people and i have many many feels about this scene and how all that emotion is made very clear in how they each respond to the Hound (might make a separate post abt this later if anyone is interested ::eyes::)

Enemy Lines is utter bullcrap about these two and I will never stop being salty about how they not only sidelined the very good, very subtle friendship they had in s1-4, but they??? made Leela acutally not trust Brax??? when literally this entire time she's been the one person who probably genuinely trusts him the most?? what the heck, David

I haven't heard TW3 or 4 yet but i'm assuming there's nothing worthwhile in those with regards to this duo (correct me if i'm wrong tho lol, i would love to be mistaken in this assumption)

TL;DR Leela and Brax mututally imprinted on each other and have probably the most open and healthy relationship within the OT4 and it is an absolute CRIME that nobody besides Gary Russell and Justin Richards cared enough to actually build on it in canon

[thebreakfastgenie]

okay what's your least favourite mash episode and why

I think it's Operation Noselift because it's just uncharacteristically bad writing. Why didn't they just stage their patient getting hit with the baseball? It makes no sense and it's just kinda boring and also the large nose angst is.... not my favorite plot.

Runners up:

Goodbye Cruel World is just tone-deaf and. Well. Racist. Like the A plot clearly means well and just doesn't work, but then it's paired with a B plot of everyone being mean to Klinger for no reason. Potter's point about Klinger's room also being the office was legitimate and there was room for a nice story about his duties as company clerk meaning he gets less room for self-expression, but instead everyone made fun of his culture. This isn't my least favorite because some of the emotional beats in the A plot still hit and at least it has Sidney, even if the psychiatry in it is also somehow even worse than the other hypnosis episode.

Our Finest Hour: why did the network order a two-part clip show. Why. That being said, Margaret finally got her interview, and some of the new lines from the others were good, and the clips did make me emotional when I saw Henry and Trapper.

The Joker Is Wild: the idea is fine, but I don't like this episode. I think if it wasn't in season 11 it would work better, but it just feels tonally off. It comes across as very cruel. Seeing Hawkeye like that is just not funny at this point! Maybe it is if you don't know GFA is coming, but I watched this show in 2021 and I knew. I don't think it's necessarily out of character for BJ, but I think it is out of character that NO ONE suggests they may have gone too far, which obviously couldn't happen without ruining the reveal. Also, lying isn't winning a bet. Yes BJ "pranked" (psychologically tortured) Hawkeye and he can take that W but you could not have paid me to do the strip tease. And anyway, what's the definition of "got?" A lie isn't a prank. BJ is like those prank YouTubers everyone hates. It's just not fun for me to watch.

I also don't like watching Dear Uncle Abdul because BJ makes me so mad in that one. I called it a friendship ending offense and I stand by it tbh. And I actually like Temporary Duty well enough but it's very Hawkeye light so I don't watch it very often. Commander Pierce makes me mad but I still like watching it lol.

[petalsmooth]

Ok.

Let’s talk Lili.

First off we only know what stars put out about themselves or other people say about them. We are not friends with these people. We are not in their homes. We don’t usually hear what they say in unguarded conversation. What we know is what is out on social media with some highly distorted soundbites from chats or DM’s with her mother that were exposed.

We were initially presented a portrait pushed by her and her family no less of a middle class family with the standard girl next door hit it big narrative. Down to earth, relatable, somewhat quirky. Strong two parent supportive household. All that was missing were the apron and pearls.

This girl came out of the gates talking about a modernized Riverdale with two girls who would be actually close and not vying for the same redhead. Feel free to add/or correct along the way of course...especially early on when not following as closely.

We got very little in the way of insight into Cole and Lili because they were trying to keep it quiet even if there were hints together. Mostly during this period what fans were fed was that she was slightly awkward socially, maybe not the most intellectual but nice and harmless. She spoke of empowering women, independence, she constantly shut down the idea of Barchie and praised Bughead. Along through the year’s she would speak to social bullying or bullying in general. She would openly talk about struggles with mental health. She’d talk and show her cystic acne and share photos not all airbrushed in ode to body positivity. She’d talk about not having an hourglass figure, and cellulite and often go out in ratty shorts and a bun sans makeup. You see she’d talk about it then follow through by showing lived the walk or calling out photoshops done of her.

Again this is “relatable girl next door quirky Lili” we told was the REAL Lili.

She would frequently talk and post about her family and dogs at home and how much she loved and missed them...though oddly not so much her older sister.

At a certain point it became undeniable Cole and Lili were together to even the hardest deniers. Of course also the Met gala eventually made official for media.

We get have her liking posts such as Miley’s about how lucky she was to have a man who checked off all the boxes. But at times there were glimpses all wasn’t kosher. People have mentioned various cons where she’d be caught flirting somewhere else, or she’d be in a bad mood giving Cole a cold shoulder. We recently saw an old video of them walking and her basically demanding he drop the fans and attend her. We have the con were Camilla is sexually harassing Cole everywhere and Lili doesn’t shut it down until Camilla tries to grind on him. It was so bad even Mads intervened. We have the interview where she is talking over him or rolling her eyes and basically being the unprofessional brat her fans claim she is not. Even though it’s ON CAMERA. Snapping at your co worker/boyfriend and rolling your eyes during a professional interview is not deniable.

Flashforward to the trip to Italy because for me there was always something off about that. That trip was obviously planned far in advance. Clearly Lili was supposed to be there. Her fans quickly blamed Cole because Lili was working. Lili didn’t have to work. It wasn’t a career changing move to do that film. It did not do well. I’m not entirely sure what was happening around that time but I have the sense Cole was disappointed/a  little angry she prioritized it over him accepting very likely the offer AFTER the trip was planned.

Lili spirals during this time. Cole comes back to clean up mess. They are quiet on social media for a long time then slowly emerge again and eventually get the photo booth shots, the wedding and her mingling with NY friends for once. Turns out close to the end for them.

I don’t want to make this a Sprousehart post though although some relevance to bring part of it up. The point is Lili put her career over her relationship. It was a calculated decision. It was also the wrong decision. Her fans talk about her being this warm giving person but that was a cynical call and a pretty lousy thing to do to your boyfriend of several year’s. I’m all for supportive partners but there are time’s where you make sacrifices if you really care for someone and this was a special trip planned long in advance. She blew it off. If I’m the partner she does this too, I question why I’m putting in the effort if it doesn’t mean to them what it means to me. 

TBH I think the bad choices she made there is why tried to make it up by meeting with his friends, the wedding etc...

Something than clearly happened because by January they were done. Not sure we’ll ever know but it looked like they were trying to fix things given the happiness hadn’t seen on Cole’s faces in a long time in those booth pics and then...it was done. We didn’t know at the time, but this is timeline Cole gave. There was a brief attempt at reconciliation where she babysits him at a photo shoot and posts a photo of them in bed and then shortly after...Cole calls it off. 

He heads to LA, she follows him there but not without making sure to shove Casey’s face into her chest to post and rent a place close to where he is staying. She posts weepy messages about the world ending etc....and weird new photos mimicking old shoots with him so naturally people think this means whatever happened they worked through. Around same time she and hers manipulated her fans to try to cancel him earlier because she misunderstood a picture of Kaia....although flat out if he had been with Kaia he was SINGLE and it was no longer her business.

She tries to walk back the firestorm she unleashed on him by “defending” him from a lesser twitter trend after realizing misconstrued the Kaia picture, All summer she weirdly seems to be trying to avoid the topic if they are together or not despite saying once if they weren’t she’d tell people. She finally puts her foot in her mouth one two many times' and Cole confirms they broke up which she doesn’t acknowledge. Because she doesn’t want to be broken up.

As we know know it wasn’t all rainbows on the set even before all this happened as in the musical she’d launched an object at him hard enough to have the crew concerned. Lili fans keep saying Cole is abusive but the only evidence we have of abuse is her towards him. We also had her suddenly doing a 180 from past 4 year’s and excusing cheating with Archie and promoting everyone in her live recaps except Cole/Jughead.

Back to the events following Cole’s post....then we get a sudden string of interviews taking shots at Cole, doxxing him, implying he could have strayed (just to resurrect hate against him) but can’t say he actually did because she has no proof. We know this because in those chats admit it was just suspicion and paranoia and never did have any names.

We learn that Lili has been funneling news and gossip and photos to keep her mother’s hold on the fandom in check and her mother in turn has been bullying people who would stand on Cole’s side. They sought to ruin him. This is not debatable.

For year’s people had made fun and called Bree out for being an obsessive stalker unable to let a relationship go, then Lili starts doing the same. We know she has tried to copy Ari’s style, her mother made a snide comment about breast size, Lili tried to taunt Ari from on set and Ari shut her down. A girl who almost never was in the line of sight of paps suddenly is snapped everyday following break up even before the public new. That doesn’t just happen. She wanted the attention.

I’m not going to go into all of it, you all know it. Suffice to say revealing she has a bitter vindictive attitude she has submersed herself in ever since Cole made it clear no reunion. She won’t even broach the topic of Bughead/Jughead unless forced. You can spin all you like but the split screens was not an artistic choice by RD. It was spurred by need to keep them apart.

Lili last summer was doing precious little other than a post or two of Black Lives matter and then when Cole gets arrested suddenly she jumps on the me too and sets up impulsive lives. Maybe she meant well but a part of me thinks she did it to attract his attention. Notice once she got praise for it and the initial protests faded she more or less doesn’t bring it up anymore. Cole never intended to get attention, it just happened because he’s a star and got taken in to a jail cell. He never put himself on camera for notice. 

Lili also co-opts the murder of a girl to flaunt she thinks she looks good naked. Completely tone deaf. 

Lili very rarely is seen in fan photos, only usually when she’s getting flack for it online. She, a girl who talks about bullying, went on a  midnight tirade against a guy who dares to critique or poetry setting her fans on him. Then deleted it probably because publicist in her ear.

She first said poems not about Cole, than said you could read into what you wanted to sell them. Now she doesn’t want to talk poetry or sequels because it flopped and was critically panned.

There are constant rumors about Lili on sets of productions to point they even had someone on her newer movie try to downplay. Yet we see in a video the cast barely talking and looking tense on a boat. 

The girl who used to talk about body positivity now lets them airbrush abs onto her.

The girl who used to talk of therapy and mental illness now promotes OTC supplements for $ and cults.

If she mentions cellulite she uses other tik toks of people showing not her own. 

She said she would never be on tik tok, yet now has her own and post old videos that aren’t funny.

Lili once tired to attack Cole by talking about losing yourself in drugs or alcohol or sex yet we’ve seen her drug paraphernalia because she advertises. Her friends post and laugh over her being drunk. She was in an off and on relationship with Wallis that doesn’t seem to be about anything but sex.

We were told Coles friends are bad influences but Taylor is out there solicitating questionable clients and making videos slamming LILI’S COWORKER as a bad actor and his brother,

The majority of Lili’s posts no longer feature Sunny or her family/Addy. 

She insulted Vancouver, compared to a prison, and made it clear her creature comforts were of more importance than a pandemic. Not quite the attitude of an empath. Which she claims she is with intention to be a master which require sucking more gullible people into the cult.

She brags about being a “rich man” without understand the context. She went from artistic photos to modeling pinups to fuel her lack of self esteem.

She’s in her mid 20′s, claims she had grown and matured in the last year but there is no evidence of it. Still can’t work with her ex without buffers which still influences show direction though her fans deny.. Still lives off junk food and hangovers. Those glasses aren’t just for sun. Her timeline is mostly an ode to her vanity with pictures of herself and then her dog. She doesn’t seem to have any causes she’s deeply involved in on the side apart from her cult. She’s still stalking Cole as her impulsive makeup tutorial showed. She said she cut out of her life anyone who doesn’t service her. I highly doubt she is receiving quality therapy on the regular right now. She still does not seem to possess the ability to own her mistakes and apologize when warranted, rather deflects or erases when heat becomes too hot.

The content she puts out about herself post break up is very different than the bill of goods fans were sold before. She is a far cry from that quirky girl next door that stood FOR something more than vanity and shallow affirmation. So no, I don’t see what you see in her stans. Everything that once seemed to distinguish her from other spoilt princesses has long faded. 

[bigskydreaming]

So I was torturing myself with the Ric Grayson arc, and, the thing is, I can’t believe the writer was that tone deaf when it came to Bruce’s behavior. He traumatized Dick when he showed him the video of him getting shot, he ignored his suffering while he was homeless (though we’re supposed to pretend that he didn’t) and he manipulated him about his suit ‘for his own good’. Dick had to ask Bruce nicely to not trick him. Is it supposed to be ‘edgy’ that their relationship is unhealthy?

No, sadly, I think the writers are literally just this fucking oblivious to how bad a lot of this shit comes across. They just don't think it through, or the implications.

But this is also why I spend so much time yelling about LOOK AT THE IMPLICATIONS, THINK THIS STUFF THROUGH about various stuff in fandom lolol.

Because I also believe 100% that the only reason we got that line about Bruce saying he was watching out for Ric all along, when it makes ZERO sense and its clear that up until that point the writers hadn't put any actual thought along those lines ANYWHERE in the previous issues, or else like, explain Ric's Actual Therapist Scarecrow McTraumaMan, like it just doesn't remotely make sense....

So tbh, the only way Bruce's claim of having been watching over Ric the whole time makes sense to even EXIST is via the conclusion that somewhere along the line the writers or editorial became aware of how gross it looked that Bruce and fam just like....abandoned Ric on his own and justified it with 'but he told us to do that' with zero heads up about the many enemies Ric had 'inherited' from Dick, including his obsessed great-grandpappy and Joker and more.

And given how little awareness they displayed WHEN hastily writing in that Bruce was watching out for Ric the whole time, despite this having zero internal consistency with the rest of their stories nor was it supported by in-story logic or characterization from Bruce or anyone else....

Its pretty clear that DC didn't actually come to this awareness of how bad this looked like, all on their own. If they had, they would have like....demonstrated some slight vestiges of Getting It in how they approached their shoehorned solution/explanation to this being an actual Problem....rather than what we got, which was like a superficial acknowledgment there was a Problem, but that didn't seem able to glean WHERE exactly that Problem lay.

So basically....they shoehorned that line about Bruce looking out for Ric in there in response to one thing and one thing only: fan backlash. From enough people in fandom being like yo DC, what the actual fuckity fuck is this bullshit. Just like we got similar walkbacks from Tom King's hitting Tim bullshit 'no see, it wasn't abuse it was a CODE' and other stuff like that.

Too little too late in this particular case, not that King's explanation for his bullshittery is winning any prizes any time soon, but you get my point. Like, DC isn't good at taking criticism or acknowledging it, but if enough people are like WTF loudly enough, they DO notice it. Fan response DOES have power. But fans need to like....be upset about various things in the first place, or else DC just keeps on being oblivious. But the more awareness fans display when the fucked up stuff DC pulls isn't just 'bad writing' but actual toxic bullshit that has no place in a family they're trying to pass off as even somewhat happy......the more awareness DC and its writers are forced to apply to their own writing and proactively think AHEAD of time like hmm maybe we should not, the next time someone dreams up oh hey what if Bruce beats Jason within an inch of his life or Jason does that to Damian or Damian tries to kill Tim again or Jason and Tim take turns using Dick as a punching bag or etc etc etc.

[the-nysh]

I just wanna say thank you for writing the recently analysis meta for Garou being an empath, that's an excellent explanation and I always enjoyed your essay about OPM or MP100 characters!

Tbh I think the OP's post is meant to be a lighthearted one, therefore there's no intention to slander Garou's characterization at all, I assure you. On the other hand, I also like your take on Garou about the matter, the way he understands Tareo and want to help him going through it.

My dumbass brain take is, Garou has clearly shown empathy for others and totally has capacity for emotional intelligence, he just didn't know how to say it right. Knowing his social skill beforehand is pretty much non-existent, and Garou also doesn't have anyone else to opened up about himself (no friends, his mentor basically doesn't want to listen to him, everyone was kinda afraid of him, Garou himself has trust issue towards others since the bullying happened, etc). He gets difficulty on how to deliver what he actually means. Thus Garou said some dumb things instead, even though he has well-intentions. Someone please give him more friends to interact with! :""(

Anyways, thanks alot for giving more of your insight about Garou, love it! ❤

Oh! :’) Ah, thank you anon! And no worries, everything was clarified in the responses of that post, so it’s all good~

But exactly, from such circumstances of his origins, here Garou’s always felt that much, both from witnessing and experiencing injustice himself, but he’s just...never allowed himself or gained/practiced the tools needed to properly process his anger. Which compels him to hastily react (even acting on others’, like Tareo’s, behalf) and often leads him down to make some very rash (dumb) decisions without thinking things thru (cause hey he’s young). And his ability to honestly face his feelings, or even openly express himself to others is well...oop, quite inexperienced. :’D He’s basically as ‘eloquent’ as Saitama is when it comes to explaining himself and articulating his thoughts/feelings well, aha. But even so, he still can’t help but feel (cause it’s part of who he is), even when his capacity to care that much upsets him. So his inner conflict (and part of his appeal on his journey to find/accept himself) is that he’s not the heartless ‘monster’ he believes himself to be, to the point of denying his true nature and forcing himself to perform as someone he’s not. :’) Cause as we see, in those other telling moments, his true self still shines through~

---

Anyway, witnessing and lightly teasing all his antics is fun, because he’s a silly dork yes, but (and this is addressing a separate, but general fandom observation I’ve seen over time) it’s another story when I see genuine character hatred for him over on reddit for ex (usually from incomplete readings of the story or misinformation about him, from people wanting him to die or hoping Saitama kills him at the end of MA arc in extreme yikes cases)...because then I honestly can’t tell anymore if some of the fandom’s common takes & ‘jokes’ about Garou are made thru fond endearment (simply poking fun), or are just veiled excuses for continued character bashing. o.o Blurring the lines and confusing me even more when I see fellow Garou fans going along with it like it’s accepted, or unknowingly(?) spreading it further like nothing’s amiss. Like...whoa wait, guys??? I thought we already knew and trusted his character more than this? D:

For example, most of the time things are pretty chill so it’s no big deal, but sometimes I see this strange trend of mean spirited & fatalistic ‘humor’ towards him even in the teen squad posts for instance, where Garou’s often demeaned or used as the butt-end of a joke. Making bullying ‘jokes’ at his expense in ways that are....truly unfunny (especially when considering his past, it comes off either tone deaf or unsettling in poor taste). Worst case, it makes me resent those fanon characters who’re portrayed perpetuating the same cycle that got Garou so upset in the first place. D: (Which is another ❌ for me when it’s Genos who’s used in this role. ;o; So I doubly don’t like it when the Garou-bashing ‘jokes’ have the adverse effect of making me dislike Genos too, noo!) So you see? :’) It’s sometimes hard to tell what’s up or considered ‘funny’ anymore, when it feels like the circumstances that made and shunned Garou in the first place, are ironically circling back around towards him again, but playing out in real-time (which I’ve become privy to notice, but I’m not sure if other fans are aware yet). Overall, when it comes down to a case-by-case basis of what content to look for, I think Tareo canonically summarizes that mindful feeling best:

[phoebehalliwell]

how would you rank the seasons from least to most favourite?

alright okay right off the bat worst season season 7. for starters i think this season has no staying power i mean like since i’ve been running this blog 4 so long now my knowledge of charmed is encyclopedic and insanely vast more than like it ever need be but for the longest time. i could not remember season 7. like wtf even happened there?? evidently leo became human??? cole returned? the avatars??? like all of it was just. it’s not even necessarily forgettable it’s just i straight up could not remember it for the longest time. and i’ve said it before the concept of utopia was way to advanced for a show like charmed to tackle i am not watching charmed for moral philosophy i am watching bc i love these girls ♥ hee hee hoo hoo magic adventure ✨ tho if i am to offer a single comment on utopia: it’s awfully rich for a show to go on about destiny and fate and then take a stand against utopia in the name of free will. but w/e. i don’t like leo in the avatars i don’t like his dynamic with piper in this season i don’t like whatever phoebe’s doing this season there’s like leslie?? maybe there’s someone else? boring & flavorless they should have been setting up her endgame instead of puttering around. and kyle. zoo wee mama. could have been a great antihero. morally gray. duplicitous. self serving. but no. they gave him all those traits and called him hero/love interest. s7 left a lot to be desired out of the characters and their relationships also gave us phat L’s such as the charmed ones are werewolves don’t worry about it and feminism peaked with naked women. shout out to zankou: demon, dilf, dub & the noir episode.

you know what? fuck it i’ll say it second worse season 5 genuinely fuck season five. this is probably a Very Specific beef 2 me But. i hate what they did to the charmed universe. this was the season that marked the transition of charmed from supernatural drama to campy soap which like. i love camp! i do! but fr. fuck this season and what it did to the worldbuilding. the early season have Such A Vibe to them man with warlocks and witches and just a couple niche monsters from assorted lore that the show took and made their own. season five opens with mermaids goes directly into fairytales then gives us superheros whatever the fuck was going on in that mummy episode the sandman leprechauns and nymphs. and i hate it for that. it takes away from this urban fantasy things that go bump in the night what lurks in the shadows of the back alleys of san francisco in favor of the ugliest cinderella dress ever put to television and an onslaught of horrible irish accents for a full episode. other issues with season five: cole’s still here? why? they don’t know and neither will you! we’re not redeeming him! phoebe’s not getting back together with him! yes he died we just refuse to let him go! the cherry on top of course being a cole-centric 100th episode. shout out to. hmm. lemme think about what i actually liked about this season. i like jason dean as a love interest i don’t remember what he did in s5 but i know he was there. the season finale i’ve talked about how stupid & shitty it was but idc i still love that episode and then shout out to bacarra the only original villain this season that was a proper serve. the crone gets second place.

next on this come on we all saw it coming season 8. it’s a bad season! and i get bts there was a whole lot happening budget cuts missing actor etc. but it goes beyond that. it was a bad season. billie and christie were bad. and i’ve said this before but billie in herself is not an inherently bad character. she was just the literal worst for the show. she was a dollar store buffy blonde confident cocky skilled and ready 2 fight evil But. we are not following her like we followed buffy we are following her mentors. it’s like if we had a show called giles that aired for seven seasons And Then buffy showed up. billie was insanely irritating to watch from our perspective and in general wasn’t like. well written. attempts to humanize her / give her more depth often fell flat. and then christy. oh nelly. oh my god. barely a character. not well acted but hey it would have been a miracle if she was. negatives include dumain who was a mess omg bringing back the triad bringing back the source billie & christy obvi and also involving homeland security. which is season 7′s fault which is why it’s the worst. dubs on the other hand include both coop and henry i really liked them the shoehorned love interests weren’t great but i like their characters i though the way the got rid of leo to save on the budget was really creative and gave us a great piper episode and of course the sugary sweet finale i love it i do what can i say.

yet another controversial choice aptly coming in fourth is season 4. i respect what season 4 set out to do. i think it was a good idea. long form narratives, keeping a darker tone, focusing on character-driven drama and growth. too bad it fucking failed miserably at all of this. cole as the source and phoebe as the queen of hell was just so so botched. they had a very unique opportunity following the death of prue to explore these characters and what it means to them to be charmed, to be witches. they saved the world but the cost is insanely high. they’ve lost an older sister. they’ve gained a new sister. how do you even begin to cope with all this? episodes such as hell hath no fury and brain drain fuck so hard because they work with exactly that. had the whole season been like those episode season four would sit at number one with flying colors absolutely no competition. but alas. we can’t have nice things. the show got so bogged down with phoebe & cole, in a way that was just so, so messy. for starters, whether you loved cole or hated him before, we can all agree source!cole sucked. he was such a strong 180 from what we had seen that the show had to make the source some type of possession to justify half the shit they were trying to pull. and then to pit phoebe and paige against one another over a man was just. disgusting. and the ending of course felt rushed because it was! they wrapped up that entire issue in a nice little bow much faster than they reasonably should have been able to. it could have been a great season. it was definitely not. shout out to the seer an iconic mastermind on barbas levels, as previously stated brain drain and hell hath no fury Specific shout out to piper’s scene at prue’s grave shout out to paige as a character i like what they did with her and um. yeah that’s it.

okay we’re exiting the shit tier in favorite of the good tier welcome to the upper half. kicking us off is season 6. season 6 did what season 4 could not in that it gave us a long form plot that still left plenty of room for like. normal demon of the week episodes. i love phoebe early in this season with her faboo haircut her brand new empathy power and her relationship with jason dean. obvious strikes against for whatever the fuck that baby crazy stint was and also the mata hari episode. yikes. i love paige’s hair color in this season nothing paige as a character necessarily stands out to me however i like how they seem to have hit the blend of work-magic with paige where she wants a life and career outside of magic however she still loves the craft and embraces is with an open heart and mind. season six also gives us chris who was a very fun male lead imo we really didn’t have many like him he’s bitchy. he whines and bitches a lot he’s got an agenda he’s a bit secretive but at the end of the day he just wants a family i like him. i like the character growth we see out of piper i like seeing her try to move on from leo i love seeing her get back together with leo i like her dynamic with chris and her fears about motherhood. i also liked richard but that one takes a lot of justification. L’s are witchstock hyde school reunion used karma off the top of my head also the paige/richard/addiction plotline was so tone deaf. also the girls were mean to darryl : ( he deserved so much better. dubs were chris as a character, tbh the episode little monsters, phoebe with empathy specifically saying i love you too to jason i could write a dissertation on that line alone also the courtship of wyatt’s father and i thought the reveals of evil wyatt and chris being piper and leo’s son were both fun and interesting plot twists.

coming in third is actually season 2 a season i really do love it’s just. it lacks structure. imo there is a lot to love about season 2 morality bites and pardon my past are both delightful time travel episodes we get jack sheridan and bane jessup two of my personal favorite prue love interests we get p3 h2o and a great prue plotline regarding the death of patty we get the super cute cupid episode it’s a great. collection of episodes. it’s not a great season. there’s just imo not a strong enough thread connecting the stories together it’s mainly held together by having the same characters in it over and over again i really liked dan personally but like. i knew we were wasting time there. he was just an obstacle. a super cute loving and caring obstacle who’s great with kids but lbr piper and leo were always endgame. wasting our time on dan was stupid. i do love the sister dynamics in season two “gotta hand it to those pesky little demons they sure have brought us closer together” but again. this season could have benefitted from a rex and hannah type or even like a cole or zankou. this season is less of a season and more of just like a handful of episodes, and while there are some fat dubs, there are also some definite swings & misses. shout out to the time travel episodes the prue centric episodes phoebe’s character growth and maturity throughout this season (e.g. her going back to college) and i also think the fashion got a lot more fun this season.

second place i’m saying season one season one was a really strong start and gave us these really compelling characters with interesting relationships between one another But. a lot of it just kinda falls flat. and credit where credit is due it was a brand new show getting its feet under it but the fourth sister feats of clay which prue is it anyway they just simply aren’t dubs imo. also i don’t like that 70′s episode bc again i am an asshole concerned about The Lore i can’t believe one bitch ass warlock caused the Charmed Ones to grow up without powers. it just really bugs me. all in all the plots as a whole like aren’t great imo they’re nothing to write home about (save for from fear to eternity) it’s really the characters that make this season so goddamn good.

first place congratulations to the one the only season three. this is just because it kinda hits all my requirements in that it has some banger one offs (e.g. all halliwell’s eve, the good, the bad, and the cursed) it has an overarching plot at the exact same time as the source becomes more prominent and obvi cole is also there with murderous intent i like the character growth we see especially from prue i like piper and leo finally get married overall i really like the aesthetic of this season that blends a darker urban fantasy tone with still some charmed fashion and whimsy. strikes against tbh phoebe and cole’s relationship i am insanely picky with my enemies to lovers and the do not come remotely close to cutting the mustard in fact they are almost immediately disqualified however from afar i can see and respect The Drama. shout out to recasting victor prue with pistols death as a character and shannen directing episodes

[icedteaandoldlace]

So there’s this “101 Reasons to Ship Snowbarry” video that keeps coming up on my YouTube suggestions. Idgaf about Snowbarry, and I’ve already hit the “not interested” button on similar videos before, but since I can’t seem to get away from video suggestions like this, I’m just gonna watch it and liveblog it, and bet that for every entry on the list, I can come up with a corresponding rebuttal for why Barrisco would make an even better couple. (I’m not gonna comment this ON the video ofc, this is just for my own amusement.)

Click the link above if you want to see the stuff I’ll be responding to, but be forewarned, that video is like, way long, so naturally it follows that this post is gonna be, too.

Additional note: If you are a Snowbarry shipper who has stumbled across this post somehow, now would be the time to stop reading, and also to add the “anti Snowbarry” tag to your filters if you wish to avoid running into posts like this in the future, ‘cause I ain’t interested in engaging in shipping wars.

Anyways, let’s go:

1. "How they met." Cisco woke Barry out of a coma by playing/singing a song about bisexuality, 'nuff said. (Also, part of the purpose of that scene was to introduce Caitlin as the serious, “down to business” one, and Cisco as the warmer, more easygoing one who’s trying to make Barry feel more comfortable.)

2. "They're both scientists." What is Cisco, an Instagram influencer?

3. If Caitlin being Barry’s personal doctor gets her romantic points, then the same should go for Cisco being his personal tailor. Actually, he should get more points, because there’s no moratorium on romantic relationships between tailors and their clients.

4. The way Barry and Cisco gaze into each other's eyes for non-medical purposes. This is too easy.

5. Uh. Cisco being the voice in Barry's ear while he's running, and often the first person he calls out to for help solving a problem.

6. They frequently take hold of each other's hands and shoulders.

7. Cisco comforts Barry while Caitlin tends to his wounds.

8 through 12 is literally just stuff about Caitlin being a doctor, and I don't find this stuff relevant enough to rebut because there's nothing inherently romantic about any of it.

13. "They both have fun together." Yes, Cisco also, the fun having, it happens, lots. Even more, actually.

14. Not really sure what to say for this one. Barry and Cisco noticing when each other is sad and then checking on each other (at Cecile’s baby shower and Barry’s bachelor party, respectively, and also on other occasions), comes to mind. That doesn’t have to do with noticing each other’s lips, per se, but I’ve never thought of either of these SB scenes as moments where Barry was staring at Caitlin’s lips, just as moments where he’s noticing her expression/overall mood, which is something he does with Cisco (and vice versa), too.

15. They all have nerdy hobbies, dude, they're nerds.

16. This one for SB is "she makes Barry drunk on purpose", which, y'know, she did because he wanted to be able to get buzzed, which Cisco has succeeded in helping him do, too (and the drink he made was more effective and longer lasting), but the way this is phrased is kind of suggestive, like Caitlin was doing it to lower his inhibitions (which she totally wasn’t), and uuuuhhhh, don't romanticize that maybe???

17. Cisco put all that tech into Barry's suit, including delivery menus from his favorite restaurants + wrote him an instruction manual, and sped up all his favorite shows so he could catch up on what he missed while he was in the speed force.

18. Barry makes Cisco's (and everyone's) hair fly everywhere when he speeds out of a room, too. Like, this is just basic physics, fam, wyd?

19. Barry also uses his powers to help Cisco. And...literally everyone who needs his help, this is basic superhero stuff, wyd?

20. He is impressed with Cisco, frequently.

21. Just having nicknames? He calls him "bud", "dude", etc., and one time he called him "Cis". (Bonus: Iris and Cisco have called Caitlin "Cait", too, so it’s not just a Ronnie and Barry thing.)

22. Cisco can make anything to help Barry. They're literally top-notch genius scientists, I don't even

23. Obviously they think each other makes great company, they're best friends. All of them.

24. They comfort each other. Again, best friends + Team Flash pep talks are a major staple of the show.

25. He needs Cisco, too.

26. They...they care about...my god, it's like you people have never heard of FRIENDS.

27. Honestly, how many times have we heard Barry tell Cisco he believes in him, or heard Cisco gush about what a great hero Barry is?

28. Helping each other conquer their fears. Yep, that's another one that applies to like, everyone on this show.

29. "They both have experienced loss" IT'S A SUPERHERO SHOW! Also, that's just life. Name one main character on this show who hasn't experienced loss. Nash and Wally have both experienced loss, and I have yet to see anyone ship them.

30. "They both can sing really well." Okay now. This one is true for Barry and Cisco, but uh...Caitlin is literally tone deaf. I'm not being mean, Danielle Panabaker knows good and well that she can't sing, and she has talked about Carlos side-eyeing her when she gets going because she's not good at it. THAT'S OKAY! There's nothing wrong with not being able to sing, but--WHY would you claim that she's good at something that she clearly is not? She wasn't on pitch for a single line of Summer Nights, and she straight up changes keys mid-line in the mockingbird song in that other clip, and just...what even is this entry?!

31. Watching over each other, yeah, another basic staple of being friends and superheroes.

32. "He is always standing behind Caitlin" AND LOOK WHO'S STANDING BESIDE HIM!

33. Remember that time fake Jay "died" and Cisco stayed with Caitlin until she fell asleep? Remember when Dante died and Caitlin slept on Cisco's couch to keep him company? Remember all those times Barry or Cisco were rendered unconscious, and the other stayed by their bedside until they woke up?

34. Basically just a continuation of 33. See above.

35. "Maybe 'okay' will be our 'always'." Hmm, what WOULD Barry and Cisco's "always/okay" be? Probably just calling out each other's names tbh, they do that a lot. Or perhaps, "For real?"

36. Is2g. Being only one call or text away is, again, a staple of the show, considering everyone in it is a close-knit found family and knows there's a very good chance that that call or text might be saying, "I'm in mortal danger, please come save my life at once."

37. Funny, I already pointed out once before (in a different post) the fun parallel of how Caitlin will sometimes go running to whoever her love interest is at the moment, or she'll call out his name, while Cisco is at the same moment running to Barry/calling out for Barry.

Side note: did they really think including Barry's proposal song to Iris would give more weight to their why-to-ship-Snowbarry argument?

38. I mean...Barry kind of carries everyone everywhere. You don't really get to see it, but how the heck else do you explain all the times he whooshes people in and out of places? He can't just drag them, otherwise the soles of their shoes would either wear down fast or catch on fire.

39. Okay, no shade to Barry and Caitlin's friendship, and some of these moments are really great, but generally speaking, their hugs do not compare to the ones that either of them has with Cisco. Also, note the group hug scene, conveniently cut off before Cisco joins in, because unlike the Romione + Harry hug in the Prisoner of Azkaban movie, there's no way to interpret it as a third wheel/cockblocking moment, because the moment Cisco declares it a group hug moment, Barry and Caitlin both agree, and you can see it on their faces that they are delighted, and think that Cisco joining in their hug has just made it even BETTER.

40. Henry gladly accepts a hug from Caitlin, immediately after laughing at Cisco's awkward moment and giving him a fatherly reassuring pat on the shoulder. I think it's safe to say he approves of all of Team Flash.

41. Oh look, another thing Barry and Cisco and multiple other characters do.

Good god, I'm not even halfway through this yet. This is like that time I tried to climb Diamond Head.

42. Ah, superhero poses, yes. That thing that...superheroes...do. Like, all of the ones on this show. And in general.

43.  "They begin to resemble each other." They're just white, fam. OH MY GOD, I SOMETIMES TAKE MY SUNGLASSES OFF WITH ONE HAND, TOO! OT3 MUCH????? 😱 Lol what even??

44. How many times throughout this video am I gonna have to repeat that everyone on this show has these moments? Also, speaking in unison with someone because you had prior knowledge of what they were going to say due to yourself or someone else time traveling, is not the same as being in sync with them because you’re close. (He said “Weather Wizard” at the same time as Cisco, too.)

45. Idk what to even say to this one. Like, Iris is obviously the love of Barry's life, and Cisco is obviously his favorite best friend and the person he would be with if he didn’t have Iris.

46. *John Mulaney voice* AND THEN THEY DIDN'T! Seriously, though, both of the people they were trying to get over were perfect for them. I don't have a Barrisco specific rebuttal for this one though.

47. So by this video's logic, that one scene from 4x03 means that Barry, Harry, and Cisco should be a threesome, huh?

48. "I did it because it gave me an excuse to bring him back."

49. .................is this even an argument?

50. They're both good looking people, darling.

51. Wrong, sir. They fight like siblings. Trust me on this one, I have six of them.

52. Trauma response. I'm moving away from Barrisco arguments and just saying the first thing that pops into my head now. But seriously, this is a normal reaction to trauma/loss.

53. *Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh* I'm not even gonna say it this time, you already know.

54. Again, have you people ever had anyone in your life that you cared about, ever? I'm starting to get concerned, honestly. But for the sake of bringing Barrisco back into this, hey, remember that time Barry and Caitlin both got kidnapped on the same night and Cisco was completely beside himself?

55. This is getting out of hand.

56. Pretty sure dating Caitlin didn't even make the list for Barry's reasons to dislike Jay and Julian (also, he liked Ronnie, the guy she loved the most, so...)

57. Judging Barry for being a dumbass + helping an exposed girl out =/= jealousy. Granted, there was some jealousy in that last clip, but not because Iris got the man; it was because Barry was all set to live happily ever after while Caitlin was, y'know, struggling with powers she didn't want and another person living in her head that kept fighting her for control of her body.

58. Refer to season 1 episode 2, wherein Cisco is the person helping Barry from the beginning, and Caitlin asserts that she is on Joe's side when he tells Barry what a stupid and reckless idea trying to be a superhero is.

59 + 60. "Let's bring our boy home." / "Let's go get our girl." Do I need to cite either quote?

61. Again I ask, did a human make this list?

62. Don't make me tap the sign.

63. One word: Elseworlds.

64. If you'll scroll waaaaaaaaaaay up there, I already covered that Barry and Cisco hold hands A LOT.

65. Oooh, I made a meme about this one! Not after watching this video, I just see SBers say this all the time, and it drives me crazy.

I used this in my Snowbarry fandom drama presentation for my squad’s presentation party a while back.

Side note: ~INTERESTING~ how Caitlin being a doctor is ““romantic”” when she’s treating Barry but ““motherly”” when she’s treating Cisco. I can’t even.

66. ......I’m sorry, I’m just not seeing how the dramatic irony of them stating that Killer Frost will never be a problem on Earth-1 is pertinent to shipping them as a couple.

67. Hannibal Bates and Caitlin are perfect for each other? Weird take, but okay. Oh, and there Caitlin is trying to freeze Barry to death. Wasn’t there a point somewhere up there about her never wanting him to get hurt?

Side note: Hey, what’s the name of that guy who saved Barry in this scene?

68. Bruh, that’s just her dynamic with everyone that season.

69. Barry and Iris, Barry and Cisco, Cisco and Caitlin, Cisco and Harry, Caitlin and Killer Frost, Cisco and Killer Frost--just naming some duos that are more iconic than Barry and Caitlin. Again, no shade to their friendship--I really like them as friends!--but the shippers stay making it out to be more than it really is.

I also just have to point out that although Killer Frost was the one who willingly teamed up with Savitar/whom Savitar sought out first, when she comments on their team up and says it’s “Barry and Caitlin together again”, his response is to point out that she’s not Caitlin and he’s not Barry. In contrast, when he takes Cisco against his will and forces him to modify the speed force bazooka, he still refers to Cisco as his best friend.

70. Make up your mind, does Savitar count as Barry in this or not? Because he totally grabbed Caitlin by the throat once.

71. I don’t know how to break this to you, but not enjoying it when someone is in pain is just being normal. (Do I even need to point out Cisco’s empathetic cringing compared to Barry’s looks of mild discomfort, or...?)

At some point this went from being about Barrisco to being about Cisco being the favorite friend to both of them, idk.

72. He. Is. Literally. A. Superhero.

73. Man, what did I JUST say? Also, can we just acknowledge the build up to Crisis on Infinite Earths for a second, wherein Frost very quickly accepts that Barry is supposed to die in order to save everyone else, while Cisco has infinite crises of his own at the idea of having to accept Barry’s death--which, I might add, he never actually does? Neither does Iris, for that matter. They tried to accept it, and they thought they did, but they didn’t really.

74. Oh fuck it, just read 73 again.

75. Okay, what even is this one? Two scenes where they are not present for each other’s “deaths” and thus don’t react to them, meanwhile Cisco is devastated in both of them?

76. Same thing I’ve already said several times before.

77. How many times do I gotta point out that this is a superhero show?

78. Just really trying hard to find enough reasons to make this list 101, huh? (What is Firestorm, chopped liver?)

79. Because violence = chemistry apparently. Wasn’t there another entry about how they can never hurt each other or something?

80. I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the vibrating hand that shredded Cisco’s heart before either of those scenes happened.

81. It’s like SBers think they’re the only two characters on the entire show.

82. I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over all the other vibrating hands triggering Cisco at least once per season. But sure, Barry and Caitlin are the only two who know suffering.

83. Two words: Flashpoint. Dante. Also, not seeing how this one is romantic.

84. That’s just a Caitlin/Frost thing, fam, it only happened to Barry because he got whammied by Prism, who caused the same effect in everyone else he whammied. (Cisco’s eyes turned purple once when he got hypnotized.)

85. Please. I beg of you. Get friends. Interact with a human person.

Side note: “I trust you” was almost what I put for Barrisco’s “always/okay”.

86. “Don’t call me that. I don’t know you, string bean.” / “I don’t know who you think you are, but around here, people call me Mr. Ramon.” / “The name is Vibe.” (Again, romance where?)

87. Kinda like how Mirror Iris and Mirror Kamilla have slightly dressier tastes than Real Iris and Real Kamilla.

88. ....Anyways, Vibe........

89. The first time because Cisco saved him, the second time because she froze him just enough to fool Grodd, not enough to actually kill him. (Again I say, what is Firestorm?)

90. So romance. Very love. Much relationship.

91. ANYWAYS, CISCO. (And uh, hello, IRIS???? Joe? Harry?)

92. See 88.

93. This one might be a fun ship parallel if Caitlin had actually been involved in Barry’s brain zapping, but instead it’s just like, “here’s two random scenes that are kinda similar in completely insignificant ways”, like the evil clothes thing a few entries back.

94. Another entry that just demonstrates that their one-on-one moments together, while good, just don’t compare to either of their one-on-one moments with Cisco. I can’t be the only person who sees this.

95 + 96 + 97. I can’t muster up enough interest in any of these shows to watch them all the way through. Is this supposed to impress me?

98 + 99 + 100. The only point this proves is that they have multiple ship names. (I thought their evil ship name was Savifrost?)

101. Mm, sorry, sweetheart, Westallen, Barrisco, and Snowstorm all have them beat in this category.

This post really got away from me, at this point idk what I’m even doing, but I went on too long to stop now.

Oh, shit, there’s a bonus round.

Honestly, I fail to see how a lot of these supposedly “match”? But as for the ones that do, that’s just your basic TV aesthetics, I forget the official name for it. They’re matchy-matchy with Cisco in some of those shots, too, because TV matchy color psychology whatever. It’s a whole thing, every TV show and movie does it.

If anyone actually followed along this far, congratulations on your attention span, my brain could never. Idk how to end this post because it strayed so far from my original intent and basically just turned into a Snowbarry Fandom Doesn’t Make Sense Presentation 2.0

You know, I like to try not to generalize and stuff, and I’d like to think that maybe not all SBers are racist and that some people genuinely just like the ship because they think that makes sense or something, but then I look at their reasons for shipping it, and it’s just the dang blandest thing I ever did see, and they have to reach so far when they try to explain why they think they’re the best “couple” on the show and just??? I am the queen of shipping friends who never get together romantically, but Barry and Caitlin just don’t got it, son. Tbh part of the show’s appeal to me is the fact that there’s no threat of Caitlin ever getting with either of her male bffs in that way, because Cisco is like her brother, and getting with Barry just wouldn’t make sense. It just befuddles me to no end that they are such a wildly popular ship and not a rare pair, because the way their relationship is in canon is just exactly the way it should be.

That’s it, I guess. I’ve already invested this much time in this, so I might as well post it.

Also, please don’t anybody try to start anything in the comments section of this video, this fandom has enough drama as it is.

[snarkwriteswrasslin]

wild winter | the quiet game; kyle o’reilly [m]

PROMPTS USED

LOCATION: a shared hotel room ( with Bobby Fish asleep in the next bed, ftw)

SITUATION: knowing people can/might  overhear

TYPES OF SEXUAL CONTACT: hand focus (holding hands), intense eye contact, spooning

Notes: 

So this is the unofficial begin to my year long smutty self challenge. I figured that the few I did in February could count as a begin to winter. So, I’m transferring them all over to my blog(s). Perhaps later, I’ll make some kind of information post so that you guys know what this is all about. Or, maybe I’ll just leave it a mystery, bc Idek myself why I chose to do this other than boredom, wanting to stop writing god - awful and cringe inducing smutty stuff when I feel up to writing smut. Anyway, here it is. This oneshot fits into the universe I started in fake fic titles with Kyle O’Reilly and the OC used there, Dominique Carron. { x | x | x } < if you wanna read those before reading this. Time frame for this oneshot is a few months between the second part and the third part when Kyle and Domi have become an established couple.

Pairing:

Kyle O’Reilly x OFC, Dominique. 

Warnings:

uhh... smut. filth. shared hotel room / risk of getting caught. body fluids. an awkward but funny moment in here where they do kinda get caught by Bobby, whomst they’re sharing a room with (thank you so much for the inspiration for this part @kyleoreillysknee​ love you forever for throwing it out there) aaand that’s pretty much it, tbh.

                           KYLE & DOMINIQUE in

                      THE QUIET GAME.

He’d been on the verge of dozing off when he felt the bed dip low and he felt her, wiggling into place. He cuddled into her, his arms going around her after he’d pulled the blanket up over her better.

Dominique rolled over to give him a goodnight kiss and when she did, Kyle’s hands raised, cupping her face, pulling her mouth into a deep and gentle kiss. “Was startin to think I’d have to come in there with you.” he yawned into the kiss. Dominique cozied herself up to him and trailed her fingertip over his lower lip.

“I’d have honestly loved that. I just wanted to soak.” Dominique muttered softly, eyes fluttering open and shut as he pulled her closer. It always felt like sheer bliss when he held her close and tight.

“A little sore?” Kyle questioned, his hand leaving her cheek to ghost over her side and settle at her hip.

She shivered and bit her lip, pouting at him as he flashed her a mostly innocent grin. “More than a little. Turns out, not only are you sexy, amazing in bed, kind and funny.. You’re also really smart and I should’ve listened and stretched out instead of curling up in back like I did.” she pressed her lips against his lazily, an innocent little kiss.

Kyle pulled her closer and his tongue slipped past her lips as he raised his hand again to rest it against her cheek.“Good night, baby.” Dominique muttered softly, nuzzling her face against his hand.

“Good night, babe.” Kyle yawned lazily as Dominique rolled to face the opposite direction.

He slipped his arm back over her, pulling her completely against him, thinking he’d start to doze off. But naturally, he didn’t. And he knew she wasn’t either.

Bobby, on the other hand, snoring up a literal storm across the room.

Kyle’s mouth brushed against the back of Dominique’s neck and she sucked in a breath because as his mouth was wandering over her neck, his hand was wandering  up and down her sides, stopping a second or two to squeeze at her hip. He moved even closer and she bit her lip, whimpering a little, her breath catching in her throat as he rubbed into her from behind.

“Kyle.” Dominique whimpered almost helplessly as she continued to really try and rub herself against him in the hopes that she could get him all worked up. She just wanted him so badly. Right then. Right that second.

“Yeah, babe?” his voice was husky with sleep and that always did things to her. She licked her lips and swallowed hard. Parts of her wanted to turn over and face him but parts of her also liked it when he spooned against her from behind, strong arms tight around her body. And they had a shared room tonight, she didn’t trust herself to remain quiet.

Kyle had this ability to bring out the side of her that got loud. Insanely loud. And needy. Oh so needy.

“You know exactly what you’re doing.” Dominique gasped right as she felt his hand slipping beneath the hem of the t shirt she’d kind of stolen from him to wear to sleep. He chuckled, his lips against her ear as his hand crept higher up her thigh. “I’m not doing anything. Promise, babe.”

“Yes. Yes you are.” she gasped a little, rocking herself back against him about the second she felt his hand settle over her unclothed heat, rubbing lightly. She heard him swear upon the discovery that she wasn’t wearing panties and when his teeth grazed at her neck, she bit down on her lip.

Kyle had her flat against the mattress in a split second and he was settling himself over her, his hands grabbing hold of her hands and holding them flat against the pillow.“Kyle… oh..” her voice came in a soft whimper against his neck. He gazed down at her with lust blown pupils. “So beautiful. And all mine.” he mused, lips crashing against hers as he bucked into her teasingly.

The kiss broke and his mouth strayed. And despite his burning desire to get his hands all over her, he continued to hold her hands flat against the pillow and gaze down at her adoringly. Bobby stirred, grumbling in his sleep and rolling over in the bed across the room and for a second or two, Kyle and Dominique froze, Kyle taking advantage of the pause in kissing and whispering to let go of her hands and slip his hand down between them, circling his cock, teasing it along her bare folds.

She shivered and tried to thrust her hips upward, to get some kind of friction going but he shook his head and chuckled quietly, pressing down into her as he whispered against her ear, “Think you can be quiet, babe?” questioningly. He’d honestly been planning to be a good boy and just attempt sleep since they had to be awake hellishly early, but.. the fact remained… He couldn’t keep his hands -or his mouth, to himself tonight. And she’d been nothing short of a playful tease the entire drive.

“It’s doubtful but..” she started to whimper as she felt him lining his cock up and the tip teasing between her folds all over again, “I’ll try.” the whimper and her words were swallowed up in a hungry kiss and Kyle shallowly thrust into her, barely letting the tip enter her heat. Dominique wanted to raise her legs and wrap them around his waist, this was so much worse than the way he’d been teasing her earlier in the SUV on the drive to the hotel… His hips were pressed so firmly into her lower body that she couldn’t lift her legs and wrap them around his body and drive him into her to the hilt like she wanted.Just as she thought she’d at least get to keep movement of her hands so she’d be able to touch him like she wanted, his hands found her hands again as he sank into her, keeping still for a few seconds as he gazed down at her and lowered his mouth, capturing her mouth in a kiss.

“Kyle..” she whispered, breathy and soft because her breath caught in her throat at his touches and kisses.

“Shh.. Gotta keep quiet, remember, babe?” his tone was a thick and sleep laced almost teasing drawl as he spoke.

She nodded, swallowing hard. All she wanted to do was get her hands on him. To wrap her legs around him.“C’mon.. Please?” Dominique tried begging again but she could look at him and tell that it was falling on deaf ears.

“Uh-uh.” he replied as he started to thrust, slowly and carefully. Almost agonizingly slow. It was quite evident that Dominique was about to pay for her little teasing throughout the drive today. And it was clear that Kyle wanted control.That turned her on more than anything. And he knew this.That combined with the way he was staring down at her, lust blown pupils almost blackening his entire eye.. She shivered as his cock buried inside her even deeper and he dipped down, mouth roaming hungrily down her neck. A gasp caught in her throat when she felt his lips latch on her neck, quiet sucking sounds drowned out by the noisy snores of their roommate for the night.The thrill of being caught at any second had her dripping. When she moaned a little louder than intended because he started to drive into her deeper and harder, his hips snapping quietly against her body as he did so, he chuckled against her skin. “Shhh.”

“You’re trying to make me scream.” Dominique choked out after a deep and bruising kiss broke because they needed to breathe.

“You were the one teasing me all the way here, babe.” Kyle replied, flashing her that cocky smirk from above. He started to fuck into her a little faster, his hands gripping her hands tighter, his hips pinning her flat against the bed. The orgasm started to build all over again, this time more intense and just like before, Kyle came to a full stop, cock buried inside her, gentle kissing and sucking noises as his mouth roamed all over her neck and dipped down, leaving a line of marks littering her collarbone as he smirked against her skin. When he felt her starting to back away from getting off, he started to fuck into her again. Deliberate and slow.

Her fingers laced through his and she gave his hands a gentle squeeze, trying and finally managing to move her hips just enough to get a little more friction going between them. It did nothing for the tears of frustration stinging at her eyes. Bobby stopped snoring and Kyle went still on top of her, mouth moving over her skin, finding her mouth as his tongue parted her lips. “Feels so good, Domi. God, you feel amazing.Shit.” he muttered into the kiss as he remained still, both of them caught up in kissing each other, Dominique trying and failing at wiggling her hands free.

Kyle chuckled and shook his head no at her with a teasing gleam in his eyes. “You’re in for it when we get back to our apartment, Kyle.” Dominique muttered as her teeth caught on the side of his neck and she nipped at it, leaving a mark of her own.

Kyle shivered. He definitely had a weakness about her lips anywhere near his neck. And she knew it. So he knew she was trying to tease, to do anything she could right now to get back at him for holding her hands still.“I’m counting on it, Domi.” Kyle muttered lazily against her collarbone.

Bobby hadn’t said anything or really moved again and he’d started to quietly snore again, so Kyle started the delicious torture all over again, slow drives deep into her heat as careful as he could. She moaned and the kiss swallowed it up, Kyle chuckling right after. The mattress’ quiet creaks had them both laughing in whispers that were swallowed up in even deeper kisses. When she started to rock her hips upward, meeting his deep drives, he growled quietly, burying his lips in her neck to muffle the sound and leave another mark behind.

“Eyes up here, babe.” Kyle coaxed as he started to move faster, letting go of her hands finally so he could grip her hips, angling them up, driving into her as deep as he could get. He buried his mouth into her mouth, their teeth bumping against one another in the hurry to deepen the kiss. “Kyle, fuck.. Oh..” her back arched away from the bed slightly and he buried his mouth into her mouth even deeper, muttering into the kiss, “C’mon, babe.. Wanna feel you.” coaxing her right over the edge and straight into an orgasm that shattered through her with enough intensity to make her want to scream his name over and over until she lost her voice.

Kyle deepened the kiss, his fingertips digging into her hips, the mattress creaking steady and quiet. When she clenched around him he growled into the kiss, teeth sinking into her lower lip, tugging at it, gasping as his own orgasm built to an almost dizzying rush and the snap of his hips against her hips was almost neck and neck with the sound of Bobby’s snoring across the room.

She managed to get her legs around his waist, her heels digging into his ass, driving him in even deeper. Her nails dragged slowly and carefully across his shoulders and down his back and Kyle grunted, “Fuck. So close.”

“Don’t stop. Don’t you dare stop.” Dominique coaxed, staring up at him. Kyle raised his hands, putting them over her hands again as he continued to fuck into her, his hips at a steady and almost bruising tempo against her hips, fucking her deep into the mattress almost. As his orgasm shattered through, he crashed his mouth against her mouth, groaning as she whimpered his name over and over quietly into the deepening and dizzying kiss. “Love you Domi.”

“Love you too, Kyle.”They shared a look and Kyle’s head bent, burying in the crook of her neck as Bobby spoke up from his bed, “Love you, Bobby.” and after a few seconds of them both trying to compose themselves and not answering, he spoke up again,

“Oh come on? You two are seriously gonna leave me hangin? Just when I felt like we were gettin really close…” Bobby chuckled, trailing off with a mumbled, “Horny as a couple of actual teenagers, I swear to God.”

“Bobby go to sleep.” both Domi and Kyle responded in tandem, both embarrassed at having been heard, Kyle falling to the bed completely spent, immediately turning onto his side and pulling Dominique into his arms, gripping her tight, pulling her into a yawn filled and lazy goodnight kiss.

“What are the odds he was pretending to be asleep?” Dominique asked, cringing because she had a feeling that there was a high chance Bobby was pretending to be asleep just to give them shit.

“Knowing Bobby, babe.. Pretty high.” Kyle gave a sheepish chuckle as his lips brushed lazily against her forehead.

“Awesome. This is never gonna be not awkward.” Dominique muttered against Kyle’s chest as she rolled over to face him, throwing a leg over his hip. Kyle’s hand found her thigh, squeezing gently as he chuckled and yawned.

[nad-zeta]

Matchup Duo 💎

HOWDY, not sure if matchups for ikeseng are open but here i go anyway?¿ ´･ᴗ･`

-I’m a Leo, and a combination of ENFP/ENTP (if that helps with characterization), but I’m becoming more ambivert as the days go by. But I still act like a crackhead (making up new words, making random sound effects out of boredom and roasting people playfully, having airhead moments, for examples) and a lot of people irl do get put off at how “obnoxious” I can get, but I do know when to “flip the switch” and become serious/quiet.

-I have really low standards for humor idk I laugh at my own jokes it’s honestly astounding, but cursed memes/images are somethin else💀 Dark jokes are always open in my ally👀

-Ironically, I canNOT stand horror, I will legit be so paranoid or freaked out and start overthinking and just cry and DIE—

I’m very open, almost TOO open, but ask me literally anything and I’ll usually tell everyone my honest opinions/thoughts, but I know how to deliver words tactfully and articulately. Debating, (public) speaking, writing, and understanding concepts are my strong suits; likewise I suck ass at math (I have no idea how I ended up in Calc BC ap, I just— 😭)

-Speaking of writing, I write poems whenever I feel like it, I have a whole collection HAH. My love of expressing comes from my tendency to play the devil’s advocate in interpreting and arguing for almost all perspectives in topics. So you can probably guess how I don’t get offended really easily and welcome both playful and serious banter (despite the crackhead persona, I’m very observant of people and their values expressed and how they tick, so I know when to back off especially when they get uncomfortable with my aggressive debating/personality). Need advice? I can use what I’ve gathered from different people and help anyone in their particular situations.

-And speaking of expression, I love fashion and makeup! I love being able to express myself through use of presentation and have fun while doing it! hehe (k-fashion, asian beauty 👀) HECK YEAH I’M DOWN FOR SHOPPING—

-I like to dance yeehaw, and I was on a competitive dance team (well that was before when the corona hit the milly rock a little TOO hard and put all the dancers out of commission😔🤝😭) I’ve also been in my own highschool’s dance club for 4 years!!

-I’m a console gamer :0 Big fan of winding down with video games, but books are the best if games aren’t an option.

-Music is a huge part of my life; I played the flute and the viola for years before and been surrounded by music through dancing as well; while I’ve been in a choir before, my vocals aren’t stellar oof, but at least I’m not tone-deaf.

-Can’t cook to save a life ooooof, that’s where my airheadness REALLY kicks in. I literally burn myself making instant :>

-I’m not phased by sexual innuendos/conversations/kinks because I see them objectively as unique characteristics of every person, but I’ll crack up at a sex joke or a cringe flirt line with friends. And like I’ve said, I’ll share them myself without objection if ANYONE asks. But the moment someone actually TRIES to make a move on me (like what!!¡¿), I’ll first play it casual but then bolt for the door because it’s hard for me to actually imagine that ANY guy would see me in a romantic light LOL but i’d get used to the advances quick and if it’s someone i liked back, i’d tease them the same or raise up the antics ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

Hi, there, dear! <3 Can I just say u sound like a super cool person! Anyway here is your matchup dear, I hope you enjoy it! And thanks for waiting soooooooooo long! ^_^

So I match you with………… Masamune

Selfie Match up

The first time this boi meets you he is ecstatic, finally someone fun to liven up this boring place.

You scream fun and outgoing

Masamune is already imagining all the fun adventures the two of you can go on and he hasn’t even talked to you yet!

He is absolutely captivated by those big dark brown eyes. 

Those big bright intelligent eyes are all telling of the playful mischief the two of you could get up to together.

He absolutely loses himself in your deep warm, captivating eyes, they remind him of home, they are deep and rich like the soil of his home town, soft and comforting, while busting with endless life and energy

HE is absolutely dazzled by the way your soft strands of earthy hair moved so freely in the wind. It low key reminds him of his own wild free personality

If he ever had to imagine his perfect woman you would be it.

You have the same vibe as playful kitten having endless hours of fun, and boy oh boy all Masa wants to do is join in.

He wishes nothing more than to boop your cute nose

His brain goes haywire, all he wants to do is kiss those soft lips of yours

Masamune continues to eye you from the corner of the council room. Gosh if love at first sight did exist than this would describe his exact feelings towards you.

Match up part

You were named as the new princess of the Oda forces and was forced to sit through the rest of the boring war council. It had been 30 minutes in, and you were already losing your mind from boredom, that is when the one-eyed dragon passed you note from across the table. You giggled a little at the joke and wrote back on of your own. The two of you passed notes back and forth, every joke or remark you read made you want to break out in laughter. As the council progressed, the two of you got rowdier and rowdier and the both of you were now making strange noises. You were making all sorts of weird sound effects, and Masamune was howling in laughter. TBH they were so funny even Nobunaga couldn’t help but laugh. Everyone was having a good time except Hideyoshi “Okay that’s the third time the two of you have disturbed the council”. Hideyoshi started lecturing you and Masamune about not disturbing the council any further when Nobunaga announced that the council was over. The two of you couldn’t help but laugh in victory. The two of you continued your conversation in which you were playfully roasting each other. Masamune was right; you really were going to be a lot of fun.

Masa love chatting and spending time with you and honestly, he loved the fact that you understood and laughed at all his jokes. What he loves the most is times just before your about to deliver the punch line to a joke, but you burst out laughing for 20 minutes before you can even get it out. And once you finally coke out the punchline between laughs, you continue to giggle at your hilarious sense of humour for another solid 30 minutes. Masamune can’t help but laugh at you laughing at yourself. When the two of you goofballs are around its always a fun time, but beware of some occasional dark humour i.e. the two of you got scolded one day for joking about some dark topics in front of the kids *cough* Mitsunari *cough*

The first night you arrived, and Masamune barged into your room, and Masamune being Masamune, ignored any boundaries of personal space and started to page through one of your books that were laying on your writing desk. It was your fashion portfolio that caught his eye. He loves all the different looks and the way the colours and patterns seemed to complement each other. You had explained to him that you were heavily into fashion and makeup and considered it as part of your self-expression. Masamune smiled his big cat-like smile at you asking if you wanted to meet up with him tomorrow. You honestly didn’t have anything better to do, so you agreed.

You and Masamune spent hours in the market looking at different fabrics, clothes and makeup products. Everything was so different in the past. After spending the whole day shopping your grab both of Masamune’s hands in your, you beam up at his with the brightest smile stating that you had a fun idea. Masa is pretty much keen for anything, so he goes along with your strange idea. The two of you make your way back to his manor. And that is when the two of you hold a fashion show, to show off your new clothes and accessories the two of you bought. It was a lighthearted fun game, filled with banter and giggles. It had actually become somewhat of a tradition now for the two of you to do this little fashion shows in his room after a long day of shopping. You would always bust out laughing at the strange poses Masamune would do. 

Another fun activity the two of you have adopted is poetry slams. Both of you would spend the week writing your best poems and then present them to each other. Just like the fashion shows, these evenings are also always filled to the brim with laugher and banter. The two of you had gotten to know each other fairly well like this, as sometimes the theme of the poems would be dark and depressing, and after the two of you would discuss the emotions behind it. U guys would in those cases always be there for each other lending a friendly ear to listen to the others problems.

Needless to say at this point, Masamune was head over heels for you and somewhere in between the fun poetry slams and fashion shows, his flirty jokes stopped being jokes. He was serious about you. One night he actually kissed you, you were honestly so shook, you ran, you legit sprinted away. Little did you know the tiger was on your heel running after you. He caught you and tacked you to the ground. The 30 second run actually gave you time to sort your feelings, as you too had realized that you had also fallen for the one-eyed dragon. He stared into your eyes questioningly, and that’s when you snaked your hands behind his neck and pulled him down to return the kiss.

The two of you made such a sweet couple. After work, Masamune would always be on the hunt for his kitten to spend time with you. He was super shocked when he heard singing coming from the kitchen. He snuck up to the kitchen and peeked inside. He had to chuckle when he saw you singing your heart out and dancing like nobody was watching. He never knew you could sing and dance like that, he watched you for a while utterly awestruck by you. He was pulled out of his reverie when he smelt something burning and saw a cloud of smoke coming from the oven. You panicked at seeing the smoke and swiftly opened the oven. You didn’t even think when you took the baked, well-burnt goods out the oven without mitts or a cloth. You had legit burnt your hands to a crisp. 

Masamune rushed to your side to evaluate the damage. He got a bag and filled it with ice, putting it on your burnt hands. He then proceeded to rub some medicine on the burns and wrap your hands “Best leave the cooking to me from now on Kitten”. He then took over from where you left off, making you the best meal you had ever tasted. You sat on the kitchen counter to keep him company. The burnt buns and your burnt hands were long forgotten, as the two of you were laughing and chatting away. 

Now, whenever Masamune cooked, you would sit in the kitchen with him and keep him company. The two of you would laugh and dance together in the kitchen. It was always so much fun spending time with him, you especially love it when he sings in his most false off-key voice it is honestly hilarious. You couldn’t help but think he complimented you perfectly. He could cook when you couldn’t even make toast successfully, and you could sing beautifully, while he sounded like some cat in pain.

Another thing Masa absolutely loves, is to sit and listen to you play the flute or viola. The soothing music and the amount of love and emotion you pack into the songs as you play, washes away all the stress and tiredness from his day. He could sit four hours and hours just enchanted by the sound of your music. Even more so if you sing along to the song, you are playing. He loves hearing your beautiful voice. This boy will legit drag you to sit in his lap and nuzzle and kiss you until you agree to play or sing him a song.

Masamune is always by your side supporting you and showering you with love. Whenever you get sad or insecure, Masamune is always there to lighten the mood. Like one time, some maids pissed you off. “ why is my kitten so angry today” Masamune literally came up to you and pinched your cheeks, he then squished your face “Common lemi see that beautiful smile.” When you still had a grumpy expression, he pulled you up and started spontaneously dancing. You couldn’t help but smile at the goofball and join in. Soon your big wide fast movements slowed down, and Masamune pulled you into his arms by your waist. He then dropped his head down and rested it in the crook of your neck. You honestly love quite moments like this just slow dancing in your lover’s arms. He would ask you about your day and would tighten his hold on you, enveloping you in a warm embrace, while you talk out all your frustrations of the day. After he would nibble on your ear whispering how much he loves and adores you.

Masa is like your fun knight in shining armour whether it is comforting you and helping you get to sleep after hearing some crazy scary ghost stories or spending hours upon hours bantering with you while you playfully insult each other, He is always there for you, loving you from the moment the sun rises till the moment it sets. He has truly met his match with you and never has in his life been happier, or laughed so much. The two of you can always be found snuggled together with Masa’s lil tiger cub in the futon after a long day of laughs, fun and adventures

Perhaps it truly was love at first sight after all 

Other potential matches…………….Mitsuhide 

 Hope you enjoyed it, love! and I hope you are staying safe and well🍭 @smol-vy

[heoneyology]

Monsta X "We Are Here” in LA

I’m doing this before I completely lose all memory of the concert!!! askljafsdf I actually had an audio recording of me going through the hi touch line that I was attempting to normalize before posting this so I could kinda do it together?? but unfortunately the audio is kind of funky and I can’t get it to work :’)) literally the only interaction you can make out is between me and wonho.

anyway of my concerts I’ve been to this year, I would rank monsta x as the best overall performance-wise, and second in management. there were some hiccups on the side of powerhouse that left me waiting in line 4+ hours which was not the greatest but at least monbebe are the sweetest people in the world and I made 5 friends that day to a concert I went to alone and was kind of anxious about. by the time management came around and said we could come back later to pick everything up, we were all pretty dedicated to just waiting in line... basically management didn’t have tickets for ult vip and vip + all the freebies ready so despite being a numbered queue I still spent all but like 2-3 hours of my day in line, something I was hoping to avoid this time around.

uhhh so I’m just gonna go through what I remember, below the cut is a concert recap and hi touch recap! sorry for how long this is!

concert recap

the announcement about kihyun having injured himself started to circulate when we were all in line around 4-5pm waiting to get back in to the venue, and the hashtag for kihyun immediately picked up after that but it kind of shifted the energy of a lot of people waiting in line (which was weird to experience in a sense, it was kind of surreal, everyone was really worried about him)

of 21,000 people in the stadium, of a sold out concert, I ended up with one person in front of me I wanted to cry :’))

I literally, in my life, have only ever left one concert before this one (and it wasn’t a kpop concert) practically deaf.

they opened with shoot out and idk who decided to turn down the bass but being right in the pit next to the speakers you could literally feel the floor rumble as soon as the music started klajdlkfjsf

seriously the concert ended and I felt like I was underwater I couldn’t hear worth shit, I couldn’t hear clearly until halfway through the next day I literally thought something in my ears got fucked up

the screen rose and my eyes found jooheon immediately and I’m not sure if I lost all sense of self when they performed hero, the second song, or when I saw the screen lift and reveal him to be quite honest

watching kihyun separate from the boys and walk over to a chair on the other side of the stage almost fucking broke my heart at the start of the concert but oh my god if I could explain the look on his face? he didn’t seem to mind that he was injured, he was living out his dream and he was in a state of bliss and his smile and the way he was looking at the crowd... seeing him that happy made me want to bawl...

kihyun’s eye smile in person is probably the purest thing on the planet

hero is one of my favorite songs and hearing it live oH MY GOD- also the energy during trespass holy shit I can’t even explain it??

jooheon’s rap for trespass live is on some other fucking level

minhyuk, kihyun, and jooheon spent a lot of their time on my side of the stage so I have a lot of videos of them

sometime between the end of party time and start of play it cool I decided to stop recording and just kind of focus on cheering for the boys because kihyun kept walking by and I was trying to give him lots of love but uh jooheon was walking back towards the main part of the stage and I was holding up my lightstick against my phone (with my photocards of jooheon facing the stage) and uH JOOHEON SAW BRIEFLY AND POINTED AND WAVED AT ME I DON’T THINK I WAS COHERENT I ASCENDED-

jooheon also told a girl in our little area of the pit that he liked her headband it was the cutest interaction aklsdjfsk (there were a lot of jooheon stans in our area I chose the perfect spot tbh)

I forget what song it was after but streamers fell from the ceiling and at the end kihyun bunched all the streamers on stage up together and his small frame was carrying this ball of streamers almost as big as him and in front of my area of the pit he decided to throw the streamers and they didn’t go very far and he just... paused... and stared at the ball... then continued on his way... it was really funny akjldskfj he’s the cutest boy alive??? probably?

minhyuk is rude as fuck and his hips don’t lie he came over multiple times during fallin to fucking just... with his hips... in front of us... wheezes-

sambakja was my favorite unit stage for obvious reasons aklsdjdfjsdf jooheon came out and I realized what time it was and my only thought was uh oh here we go like fuck can he fuck up my bias list any more he’s my bias how does he keep?? doing shit???

I don’t really remember if he just dropped it or like it flew into the air or something but jooheon dropped one of his drumsticks and the little gasp that left me in the middle of this loud ass crowd it was laugh-worthy

jooheon had me convinced he was gonna crack a cymbal please calm down boy-

the VCRs were amazing shownu’s was an asmr mukbang and he kept shushing it was adorable and jooheon... jooheon cooked... that domestic au, wow, I love him...

myself was my second favorite unit stage, or tied with the maknae line’s tbh I was super sad when kihyun was sitting but god hyungwon, minhyuk, and kihyun in those suits and the song and the choreo alkjdflkjsdf

for all the photos of wonho during the mirror stage I’m surprised there aren’t more of shownu?? he was absolutely stunning I can’t even put it into words, wonho looked great but... shownu... had my full attention...

DJ H.ONE’S SET WAS THE COOLEST FUCKING THING EVER THE ENTIRE STADIUM WAS JAMMING OUT

hyungwon stopped and stared at monbebe’s a lot in awe and I stared at him in awe it was the sweetest thing, it melted my heart

jooheon did a lot of funky dorky things going back and forth across the stage I can’t even sum them all up??? like at one point he was doing this kind of crab crouch thing idek- and then at one point coming back toward the end I think minhyuk? asked him to show his abs and he teased lifting his shirt right in front of our section, I almost died-

monsta x and the fucking bottle flip was a kind of chaos I can’t explain

at one point minhyuk was chanting, “if I’m success, I am king,” and changkyun had to tell him to watch his pronunciation because it sounded like “if I am sex, I am king” like that’s the kind of chaos it was-

minhyuk pulled up hyungwon’s shirt to expose his abs at one point but all I really saw was his back from where I was but hyungwon’s reaction as minhyuk ran for his life aklsjdkfjs

my favorite interaction of the night had to be when minhyuk, hyungwon, and kihyun were discussing the myself stage and minhyuk was prompted to explain it in one word and he started to very very very slowly spell out “sexy” and he only got to s-e-x and paused long and dramatically before saying the y and monbebe were literally losing it screaming and he just kind of glanced at the crowd taken aback and then hyungwon just goes, “I think today he’s a little drunken, sorry!”

also during that interaction they made kihyun laugh and the poor boy was like, “don’t make me laugh, it hurts!” and I was ready to jump on stage and fight minhyuk tbh for making him laugh

I don’t remember what stage we were waiting for, I think it was h.one, but there was a very long pause and THE MONBEBE IN THE STADIUM STARTED DOING THE WAVE WITH OUR LIGHSTICKS AND WE GOT IT TO GO AROUND AT LEAST 7 TIMES, COOLEST FUCKING FANDOM EVER-

kihyun, jooheon, and changkyun’s ending ment made me cry. kihyun explained how standing on staples stage was his dream and it was so hard to stay mad at him for performing while he was injured. jooheon just... the love he has for everyone god that boy my heart... and then changkyun explaining the staples dream since their first kcon made me tear up and wow I’m so proud of them-

meanwhile shownu’s ending ment was him telling monbebe we’re an in-n-out burger LOL I love a simple minded intellect

hi touch recap

okay so for hi touch I was fucking exhausted, as I said I’ve only ever been to one concert that completely drowned out my senses and so by the time I got to the boys I wasn’t really coherent. in comparison to my past hi touches I wouldn’t say I fucked up because I wasn’t nervous but... I was just too tired to form words... maybe someday I’ll get this hi touch thing right!!!

for reference of my descriptions of them: I’m 5′7″ with small hands. all the boys were taller than me, so I did look up at them a bit.

kihyun wasn’t present due to his injury. this list is in order of how they appeared in line:

SHOWNU: I saw shownu and my heart melted, although I was very confused for a split second walking up to him (which probably messed up my train of thought more, because I wanted to simply just say to him “best leader!!”) because a staff dude that was ushering the line forward stepped in front of me to grab something off the table like dude wtf is with your timing-

anyway... shownu... is literally a god among men. the pictures don’t do him justice. he’s so handsome, so beautiful. he glows. he’s tall, I remember actually tilting my head back just a bit to look up at him. and he’s so tan and beautiful and his persona glows!!! he had on his trademark crinkly eye smile, which gave off a very reassuring, calming, and dorky air which really made me less nervous if I was nervous at all (I just remember being exhausted). he feels calm and safe.

I saw him and my heart melted and immediately I just blurted out, “hi!” in the most awed and amazed tone. I don’t remember if he replied but he smiled really cutely and he looked like such a boyfriend with his snapback on backwards and his concert shirt on, like you could literally hug the boy and with the air he gives off he feels so safe and comfortable and wow I love son hyunwoo!! he has really nice arms too, he was standing up straight and tall with his broad shoulders oof, and his hands were cold, kind of broad with long fingers.

CHANGKYUN: pictures don’t actually do changkyun any justice either, to be completely honest? he’s perfect in real life. he looks like a sculpture. him and shownu have to be the most handsome men in the entire world, I swear. his features are so defining and up close they’re that much more prominent. he’s literally drop dead gorgous. I don’t know how to explain it-

despite the intensity this boy gives on stage he’s really soft and intense in a more private way. I was already putty after seeing shownu up close but he was just an absolute sweetheart. I think he knew half the people going through the line were insanely nervous. the girl in front of me (who I ended up making friends with earlier in the day) biases him and managed to tell him she loved him and in reply he actually said, “I love you, too.” meanwhile my tired ass simply said “hi” to him and he said it back and his voice is so smooth and raspy and like... his voice is so soft and comforting. he was speaking quietly and kind of privately to each monbebe and making it sort of personal he’s so thoughtful and kind.

he was also half sitting on the table, like he had a leg up and was leaning against it and would kind of lean forward just a bit every time he high-fived someone. his hands were probably the coldest of all the members and he had long hands and a slender wrist. he also was very small and like... slender? overall?? he was still taller than me, though, so not small in that way.

HYUNGWON: is he... is he a fairy?? he didn’t even seem real. like I can’t even process that I saw and touched his hand... is he really real... hyungwon is so freaking pretty in real life and he’s tall and kind of lanky but he’s beautiful! he’s so tiny though a good strong wind could blow him away he was so freaking petite? and his hair was so fluffy!!! his hands are also very petite and long, and his fingers are so long. like my hands felt extra tiny high-fiving his...

but oh my god the way he looked at every monbebe though like?? he was so insanely happy to be there and to be saying hi to all the monbebe coming through the line. that look of awe I said he looked at the crowd with a lot during the concert? that was on his face during the hi touch. and each time a new person stepped up to him a little light lit up in his eyes and they sparkled, he was the cutest boy ever!

WONHO: okay so rip to any wonbebes that went through the line because if I had any sense or if I hadn’t been as exhausted as I was, I probably would have died. wonho. wonho literally was sitting half on the table, leaning across the table, with his hand stretched outward and I swear to god if there hadn’t been a table there he probably would’ve been in every single monbebe’s face. that table needed to be there. it was holding wonho back from monbebe, not the other way around kaljsd;lkfjsdf.

this boy though. I love him. the love he has for monbebe. it emanates from him. literally rolls off him in waves. from the way he was leaning forward and greeting people as they stepped up to him to the way the light shone in his eyes. he makes eye contact with you and he looks at you like you’re the entire center of the universe. and the soft, yet awed smile that was on his face. he literally looked like he was in love?? wonho’s pure love for monbebe never ceases to amaze me and seeing it in person, just... wow. but honestly rip to wonbebes because having him lean across the table with how buff he is can be slightly intimidating.

he’s the only one I remember my interaction with clearly, besides with jooheon. as I said hi, at the same time he blurted out, “nice to meet!” (not even a you at the end, just “nice to meet!”) in such a singsong, happy voice!! he was the only one with a warm hand of all the members, and they were broad, a bit meatier? idk if that’s a good word? with thicker fingers. they were smaller than other members but bigger than mine still. also his biceps are... and his broad shoulders... his muscles are no joke. that close it’s intimidating yet he’s the softest teddy bear I could cry.

MINHYUK: oh my god I have tunnel vision I am so fucking sorry I... don’t remember minhyuk. or my interaction with him?? I said hi, I think he said hi back??? he was loud, too, like his whole personality is loud... I remember him being taller than me, I remember very clearly his bright red headband and his fluffy mop of hair, and the fact that he literally had a :D smile on his face. but jooheon was on the other side of him and??? I have fucking tunnel vision I’m so sorry minhyuk-

minhyuk’s hand was really cold next to changkyun’s, but he has really long, broad hands with long fingers... his hands were huge... I remember his hand being in front of my face and him being on the other side of his hand and I remember looking at his hand to make sure I high fived him correctly but I was hyperaware of jooheon at this point, sorry to any minhyuk stans I have let down kalsjdfljdsf I’ll do better next year...

JOOHEON: okay so part of the reason I was hyperaware of jooheon while interacting with minhyuk was the fact that I saw jooheon smile at my monbebe line friend in front of me and I saw dimples and my eyes and heart practically lept out of my chest for him I really am so soft for and love jooheon akljsdkfjs. I stepped up to jooheon and at that moment my exhaustion went away for the split second to remind myself of all my previous hi touch mishaps and not to fuck it up with jooheon.

he looked so jooheon alkjdfsf he had on his hat and rag from the end of the show, and he was casually sitting on the table leaning against the wall behind him. his hand was also cold, and he has very slender and long hands and small wrists and long fingers. my hands were tiny... as soon as I high-fived him, I made eye contact with him and told him and I loved him, and jooheon literally went, “Yeee!” and smiled at me and his dimples poked through and he did that thing where he widens his eyes and raised his eyebrows?? here’s a gif for reference, it’s the third one in the set. he kept eye contact with me and I think I fucking shut down at some point because I giggled like a damn school girl as I walked away and almost collapsed in the lobby of the staples center when I caught up with my line friends.

also to any joobebes, guard your heart carefully because that boy’s eyes actually sparkle in person. I held eye contact with him so long that I noticed his little eye mole and his eye sparkle? his face is a little bit thinner up close but he still has those pudgy cheeks and full lips and he borders somewhere between absolutely fucking gorgeous and the most handsome man I’ve ever laid eyes on? and he’s a lot tanner in person??

anyway yes I love jooheon can you tell he’s an ult-

if you stuck around this long thank you for reading :’))