#also sorry the quality is awful i pirated this

[hoss-bonaventure]

no amount of context will save them

[skinnylove584]

I finally got around to watching the 2023 Little Mermaid. Here are my thoughts that nobody asked for...

What I liked:

- Under the Sea and Kiss the Girl were the absolute best parts of the movie.

- Ariel helping Max swim was adorable

- The whole shipwreck sequence was phenomenal

- I thought the CGI ultimately was beautiful the under the sea shots were mostly stunning

- The castle is exactly how I envisioned it

- The addition of Eric's trinket room was a lovely addition and added depth

- Plot hole and context filled (Ursula's relation to Ariel, her voice, etc.)

-Halle did an excellent job not only with her singing but with her facial expressions and playing naive

- Jodi Benson's cameo

What I disliked:

- Scuttlebutt, I'm sorry that was awful and felt super out of place

- Eric's solo song, this had nothing to do with the actors vocal capabilities and everything to do with how poorly the lyrics flowed. It could have been such a great addition.

-King Triton's anger when he destroyed everything lacked true feeling overall he was too stone cold

- THE COSTUMES! Most of them looked so cheap and poorly made. I would have loved to have seen more dresses on Ariel as well as a nicer scarf for her hair.

- The hat tbh it just reminded me of a fedora and it took me out of it. (Though I do note Eric's affection to the hat because of Ariel was sweet)

- Putting Ariel back in the ratty dress instead of the silver one BIG mistake HUGE

- While I overall liked Vanessa, her actress fell victim to a poorly made dress and poorly styled hair

- This is just nit picking but the ever so slight tweaks to the music weren't my favorite it was the most tiny changes that threw me. I guess I'm just used to the original. Doesn't mean they were bad just wasn't what I hoped for.

- While I could appreciate the full circle moment of Ariel steering the ship like Eric, I gotta say I missed him killing Ursula. Ariel is brave and adventurous in her own right I didn't feel like Eric killing Ursula in the original took away from that BUT I could still appreciate it in this version.

-Tbh Ursla was kinda meh in this and I found her scenes kinda disorienting. Her CGI monster at the end was also very meh BUT the crazy water and chaos were not.

Overall I thought it was a good movie not bad not great. Out of all the live action remakes not my favorite but not the worst. To be honest, when Disney first started putting out live actions with Cinderella and Maleficent, they set the bar high. Even films like Pirates of the Caribbean were absolutely stunning. So when they announced this I expected the same attention to detail and I didn't feel like it delivered. I'd like to see these live action movies meet the same standards of quality as Pirates of the Caribbean. It just felt cheap which is a harsh word but that's what I can best describe it. I will say periodically through the movie they hit the target but as soon as they would hit it they would lose it. I was constantly being pulled in and out of the fantasy of it.

I give it a 6/10 a good movie glad I watched it but probably won't watch it again.

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

Hello hi longtime lurker first-time asker, I am very sorry that your inbox is being filled with people being not nice about the whole...everything going on right now :-/

I know essentially nothing about boats and sea related stuff and I am always in the mood to hear about someone else's special interests, so do you have a favourite interesting or positive (inasmuch as facts about shipwrecks can be positive) fact related to that topic?

I love that story about the people on the Carpathia (because it's kinda heartwarming and bittersweet in the middle of a tragedy) but that's literally all I know about any kind of big boats tbh (also as well I would love to know what got you interested if that's okay to ask??)

aw thank you anon <333

its probably a bit cliche but my favourite ocean liner ever is the ms stockholm.

unfortunately, there arent too many good quality photos of it back when it was first launched in 1948 since you know, it was 1948. but its this beautiful, sleek ocean liner. she was the smallest passenger liner on the north atlantic run in the 50s, and idk, i just love how she looks. theres a lot of ocean liners that looked gorgeous like the ss france or ss united states, but they were both still a bit too bulky for me. compared to the stockholm which was just perfectly balanced for her small size.

you might also notice the very angular bow (front bit) and she had that bit because she sailed near the arctic sea so she needed a strong bow that could break ice.

unfortunately, it also broke a ship. im not gonna get into all the details of the collision between stockholm and the ss andrea doria, but off the coast of nantucket in july 1956, the stockholm collided at an almost 90° with the andrea doria.

this happened due to three reasons: fog making it harder to see, the stockholm sailing in the wrong lane (ships have ocean lanes like cars have roads) and the andrea doria attempting a starboard-to-starboard passing to avoid the collision despite the accepted passing being port-to-port.

(imagine youre about to walk into someone. if you both take a step to your respective lefts, that would be port-to-port. its starboard-to-starboard if you went right. but say you went right and they went left, youd collide)

the collision caused the andrea doria to begin to list to port and eventually shed capsize. the list made half the lifeboats unusable, but the crew of the stockholm were already rowing over in their lifeboats.

and the cherry on top was the arrival of the ss île de france, who took on the bulk of remaining passengers and was labelled the hero ship.

out of the 1705 people aboard, 1655 people survived. a much higher survival rate to titanic.

like the titanic wreck, the wreck of the andrea doria is the gravesite for the 51 who didnt make it. their bodies were never recovered.

unfortunately, the wreck is a popular diving spot and looters have taken everthing worth anything from the wreck over time. and even more unfortunately, at least 22 divers have died on the wreck.

once again, these wrecks should be protected by law like the fitz is or like the uss johnston is.

also, the collision completely crushed stockholms bow:

but away from the tragedy of the collision, the stockholm went on to have a very successful career. shes had 12 different owners and 12 different names:

stockholm

völkerfreundschaft

volker

fridtjof nansen

italia i

italia prima

valtur prima

caribe

athena

azores

and astoria

she was also sometimes labelled "the ship of death" due to the collision with andrea doria.

in 1989, 41 years after her launch, she was sold to star lauro lines and was converted into a cruise ship. and considering shes currently still up for sale today, she must have been a very reliable and very good cruise ship.

when she was known as athena, she was attacked by pirates in 2003. the crew prevented the pirates from boarding by firing high pressure wate Mr canons at them, but at one point twenty-nine pirate boats surrounded her. and then she was just fine and carried on with her voyage to australia m

in 2009, she got detained in france because the company had unpaid bills, and it just makes me cry laugh when they detain a whole ass ship. i just imagine some officer trying to handcuff a ship.

after the quick dip into the criminal world, she continued to sail until 2021 when she was bought by a company planning to convert her into a hotelship.

afaik, the plans were scrapped and shes back on the market, so if you somehow have the money to buy a boat, the stockholm/astoria is up for sale.

and it is fucking wild to remember that the ship that sank the andrea doria in 1956 is currently on the market and might be fixed up and ready to continue sailing.

the carpathia is a story that almost always makes me cry because its such a good example of the good that humans do. the carpathia sailed through an icefield at night at top speed, despite being much less safe than the titanic, to get there. its both heart-breaking and heart-warming.

i had a phase as a kid where i really liked big boats as well as whales and sharks, but im an afab trans guy and many family members did not think it appropriate for me.

i got back into during lockdown actually. im pretty sure i was lonely because me and my flatmate were trapped at least two hours away from our families and i hadnt seen my mom in so long. back in my first year of uni, i called her everyday.

and so there i am, feeling lonely and also being insomniac at like 3-4am maybe, and i dont know what made me think of it but suddenly i was thinking about the titanic and how lonely it must be down there all alone. im the poster kid for object empathy. and then i was just as lonely like i was reflecting that loneliness onto myself and i was near tears and just couldnt sleep.

so i gave up on sleep and realised i needed to distract myself to feel better so i just started looking up shipwrecks and ghost ships and all manner of these things. and then suddenly im watching every documentary i can find, every video on youtube and im reading someones very long essay explaining why the titanic olympic switch theory is wrong.

and here i am. it started as a hyperfixation and developed into a SpIn, and then when i could finally visit my mom and brother, i made them watch disasters at sea on the tv.

if you ever wanna learn about this sort of thing, disasters at sea is a good show to watch (its all on youtube) and oceanliner designs and big old boats on youtube are very good channels for beginners.

thank you for this ask anon <333 i really enjoyed infodumping about my favourite ship.

[smokeys-house]

What's Puukko's favorite weapon that isn't a sword or knife?? (sorry if you have answered something like this before hhh)

Oooooh that's a fun one 👀

Being an ex pirate and a blacksmith these days, she's rather fond of her usual fare. Anything you can think of that you'd find aboard a ship, boarding axes, boarding spears, and the usual suspects like cutlasses, hangars, single shot pistols, etc. But if you asked about her favorite weapon that wasn't a sword or knife, she'd say it's the bow.

She was a huge nerd for fantasy as a kid, always reading fairytales about knights and adventure. She of course, is like most fantasy nerds and loves longsword and arming sword, but you'd be hard pressed to find a bladed weapon she doesn't like. Bows always had an alluring quality to her, but she never really found herself a need for one. She occasionally dabbles in target archery these days, and she's used them for hunting in the past, but never for terribly long. The fact that she's never had to use one for anything serious is part of why she's so fond of them!

The thing about hunting in or near moominvalley, though, is that you're better off fishing. Better that than accidentally skewering your antlered neighbor. (In the comics there's I think 2 or 3 incidents involving hunting being unsuccessful? Nothing major. Also that background character in the 90s series with the antlers would look awful like a regular animal if he were a little obscured by trees and bushes)

[notasapleasure]

Casualty S26.E17 (2012)

Kind of astonished he’s only been in one episode of the long-running medical soap, and that it was as recent as 2012!

Unfortunately, the video quality of the episode on YouTube is atrocious, so my screencap-happy finger may be thwarted this time, but trust me when I say this is him, playing family man Stephen Leese, dressed as a pirate going ‘YAAR!’.

Lamenting the fact his eight-year-old son will be growing out of these ‘proper parties’: “Games, costumes, and SAUSAGE ROLLS.”

But it’s ok: he reckons he’s got it in him to give Archie a little brother still. His wife doesn’t seem enamored of the idea and leaves the house as soon as he goes back to playing pirate.

Heyyyy I thought I recognised his wife, despite the pixellation! It’s Eleanor Matsuura from I Used to be Famous! Ahh, it’s a small world.

Also, she’s having an affair with some boring man in a puffa vest, which...on the one hand ew, on the other hand....Joplin you’re gorgeous, but I prefer the flick-knife and the dentistry tools to the 8-year-old and the man-child shtick :’)

If it was between that and puffa jacket guy though...no offense Eleanor Matsuura but I just wouldn’t cheat on Joplin Sibtain for a guy who’s cheating on his own disabled wife!

Worried because there’s been a massive pile-up on the road and a gas explosion and his wife’s not back!

Oh there she is! Now they have to.....take the whole party of children out and away from the area because?? The other parents are worried. But the roads are all blocked. And now there’s a chemical leak in the area!

Man, Casualty is wild.

There’s just. Hydrogen chloride gas everywhere. Cool cool cool. Sure hope the Leeses didn’t take those kids out for a walk!

Darling there’s hydrochloric acid in the drains. Don’t go outside with the children.

He thinks it’s a bad idea! Guy on the telly says stay put! Wife says go, so he does as wife says and almost leaves his own kid behind in the process smh.

Decontamination time!

Well, find yourself a man who can make a chemical incident fun, ig?

Aw, he’s being a sweetheart looking after his kid’s sore arm, while......his wife is off asking about puffa vest guy. And puffa vest guy’s daughter isn’t about to let him leave his family consequence free. Look, Lise, you can pinpoint the exact moment his heart breaks! etc etc

Oh no, even puffa vest guy’s wife knew!

Kicked puppy:

But she’s sorry.

Aw, and then he puts on a big brave smile for his son, birthday boy. ;_;

Aaaaand, puffa vest guy has chosen his wife instead of his lover.

God, I think you know....too much can happen in a TV show??

This barely covers any of it. There was, however an AMAZING tiny paramedic lady who had a cool partnership with a grumpy old firefighter and got to put a guy in a headlock at the end, so that was nice.

Rating

Dead? Nope! Not even whumped!

Evil? Not at all.

Affects the plot? Utterly oblivious to it!

1.5/5? Not much to go on here lads. He has a very bad day, but he seems like a lovely dad. I reiterate my preference for whatever was going on in Hustle.

[assortedvillainvault]

Hello! I saw your requests are open, and I was wondering if you could write some headcanons either for Hector Barbossa or Davy Jones. I recently rewatched PotC and somehow fell for both of them <3 I can't really decide between them though, so I'll leave the choice to you for which of them you want to write (of course you can also do both but I don't want to ask for too much)

For the scenario I don't have anything specific in mind, I'd appreciate any cute fluff honestly. If you want some kind of guideline, maybe something along the lines "how they express their love for their s/o" (the reader can be female or gender-neutral), but if you have a different idea feel free to write that instead^^

I'd be happy if you can make something from my request :D

I am. SO sorry for how long it has taken for me to get to this request - thank you so much for your patience and I hope you enjoy some quality fluff for these crusty old men:

(I tend to write any x Readers as gender neutral by default)

Barbossa X Reader Fluff Headcannons

Barbossa, for all his grandeur and posturing, doesn't actually want you to be the meek pushover kind of partner.

He's an unrepentant drama queen with a childish streak and a love of games. If anything, what he wants is a partner with enough gumption to meet his antics head on.

AKA he wants to argue with you enough that you steal his hat, run around his cabin with him in hot pursuit and then snog under the stars once he catches you. Yknow. #JustCaptainThings

He's going to be dramatic 24/7. It's just his nature at this point. You can't change it. Jack is insane, Norrington is noble, Jones has a pout strong enough to put the sea itself on the housing market and Barbossa is waxing lyrical at the wheel while you turn a spectacular shade of red and the crew desperately avoids eye contact.

You're getting draped in the spoils of the pirate hoard whether you want it or not. Just waking up absolutely draped in pearls and jewels while he parses the rest of the stash for the right shade of silk to match your eyes.

He's a touchy guy. Wants you close by at all times if not all but draped over him. Will not hesitate to pull you into his lap. Get comfy.

If somebody has to gall to disrespect you he has two modes:

1. You deal with the offender yourself while he watches from the top railing - all but hollering 'That be my WIFE/HUSBAND/PARTNER!' and yeeting the nearest hat into the ocean as you break your assailants noses.

2. You're overpowered and he strides in with a spitting fury, pistols smoking as the offenders drop like bloody flies. 'That-' he seeths, sword drawn and held to quivering throats, '-be my Wife/Husband/Partner you mangy disgrace of a half-drunken curr.'

If Jack so much as blinks fliratiously at you Barbossa won't peel himself from your side for over a week.

Davy Jones X Reader Fluff Headcannons

It's barely noticable, the fact that you're together.

You can't blame him for keeping his distance and reputation up around the crew, his last disastrous attempt at love was quite literally the stuff of legend after all.

In private however, it's different.

He's getting more and more comfortable with letting you touch him - running gentle hands over coral growths, crab claw and eventually, his beard. Letting your facination and awe chip away at centuries of self loathing bit by bit.

He has a harsh exterior but the moments of softness, when they happen, steal your breath enough that you seriously reconsider that cutting his heart out dulled his feelings in any way.

He's teaching you how to navigate. Both via maps and by the stars. It always ends up more as cuddling and quiet conversation.

While you're on deck, Maccus (the Hammerhead shark first mate) will sometimes order you to the captains cabin. These orders aren't from Jones, who Maccus knows will avoid help until the sea boils into mist, but becuase the first mate has already recognised that you're good for eachother and he's sick of his Captain wallowing in self pity.

Maccus knows exactly what's going on between you two and is just praying that you hurry up and kiss in front of the crew already so he can stop covering for you both. A+ wingman first mate, honestly.

Over time, Jones's organ playing stops being endless renditions of Calypso's song and his theme for the Kracken, and instead shift to a new tune, one you and the crew are unfamiliar with.

It takes you weeks before you realise the halting notes and muttered scribbling is him composing you a song.

The first time the clear, bellowing notes of the organ boom out over the sea for you is the first time you see him smile to himself without a shred of malice and your hearth does a backflip - becuase That is the expression you vowed to bring about as much as humanly possible.

If you're apart, then letters. So many letters. Letters in little bottles, letter tied to floatring barrels, letters in bottles carried by octopi becuase the Kracken commands many tiny minions, letters that are smudged and spotty and full of love he can never seem to express in person. You send yours back the same way and they're guaranteed to reach him, no matter where the Dutchman is.

[ichayalovesyou]

Hey 💙🖖🏻

I just found you today, and absolutely love your writing, I think I just binge read your Pike fics today 🤭🔥

I also saw that you're taking requests... I might have an idea for you...

Captain Pike going apeshit because you got captured by bad people? Nothing specific, I leave it up to you... Any relationship, platonic, love etc... Getting hurt badly or not... Anything and everything is up to you 😉

(if you don't like the idea, I understand that too💙💕)

Aw geez thanks 😅 I got the warm fuzzies watching you barrel through my fics the other day! I appreciate it! ALSO are you kiddin’?! That sounds delicious! This is one of my all time fav tropes, I got you covered pal-o!

Revenging Angel (Pike x Reader)

Rating: Teen and up (Violence)

Word Count: 1.1k

Content: SFW, angst, hurt/comfort, whump, GN!Reader, Medical!Reader, established relationship (romantic), Protective!Pike, torture by neglect, stabbing, blood, spoilers for SNW 1x07 “The Serene Squall”

Teaser: You're a medical officer aboard the Enterprise whom Captain Angel has kidnapped in order to treat their wounded lover, and as revenge on Pike for causing a mutiny on the Squall. Hopefully he can save you before it's too late!

“Since your Boy Scout’s little mutiny sent my last medic for a zero gravity swim, you’ll have to do. If you fail to save my husband’s life. You’ll be joining her long before the Enterprise even knows you're gone.”

That was two days, and four hours ago. That’s how long you’d been confined to this butcher’s shop they called a sick bay on the Squall. No food, no water, just medieval quality surgical tools to heal this mad captain’s Vulcan lover, then being left in here to die.

They would have to tend to you eventually right? After all, you have a highly valued life in your hands, rather, you had. You lost that bargaining chip the minute you kept your Hippocratic Oath.

But you knew why Angel chose you.

It was to get to Chris, to throw the Captain off his game.

Monsters like Angel loved to manipulate people, you had heard that they’d managed to manipulate and take Mr. Spock of all people hostage the last time Enterprise encountered these pirates. They seemed to have a thing for using love as a bargaining chip.

The only thing keeping you from caving in was knowing in your bones that the Enterprise was coming for you, that Chris was coming for you. That he would come even if you were a stranger to him. It was part of who he was.

So you waited.

When you woke up again, you thought you were delirious, after all, it had been a long time since you had any water. Sounded like fighting, was that phaser fire? You prayed it was another mutiny, especially when Angel and her Vulcan squeeze burst into this poor excuse for a sick bay they’d chained you to.

Then you heard familiar voices, Noonien-Singh’s crisp English accent barking orders, and-

Oh thank god, it was Chris!

“Captain Angel! Release Doctor Y/N and Xavierus, come quietly and we can discuss the terms of your surrender.”

The Captain’s normally leveled command tone was laced with a sharp bark reserved only for when he was at his angriest. He was breathing heavily, the blood on his cheek wasn’t his own. You hoped he hadn’t been forced to do anything he would regret.

“Sorry Captain Pompadour, you only get one.”

If looks could kill, and it wasn’t about the hair jab. When you made eye contact with him, you watched Chris regain some of his composure with the confirmation you were alive, if not well.

“That’s not how this works-“

“Aw! You make it sound like I’m giving you a choice! Better end this before it gets boring.”

It happened so fast, yet it felt like slow motion, Angel whirled around with lightning speed, necklace in one hand, and blade in the other, driving it into the side of Chris’s neck.  

When you tried to scream “No!'' It was La’an’s voice that came out. She rounded the corner as Chris fell, trying to body check Angel as they vanished, transported away mid-tackle. The mysterious Vulcan followed suit.

La’an bitterly remarked about the Captain not following protocol. You barely even heard her, you were too consumed by the sound of Chris struggling to breathe. A twisted part of you was relieved that choking on his own blood meant he was still alive.

Your hands shook, wanting to stay the bleeding but knowing one wrong nudge would drive the blade into his carotid. And that would be it.

You trained for years, seen dying people beneath your hands and had spared them. But you had nothing now, no strength, no wits, and worst of all no equipment, not anything that could save him anyway. You winced at all the times you berated him…

You’d never been there when it happened, not like this, not when it was your life he was trying to save. You weren’t prepared for this.

“La’an, no time, he’s dying.” You begged hoarsely. Her eyes widened as she quickly registered the severity of the Captain’s condition.

“Kyle! Two for emergency medical transport! It’s the Captain.”

As the golden light of the transport beam engulfed you both, you heard her say

“Don’t worry, we’ll find them.”

Maybe that was reassuring for her, but not for you. The only thing that could fight the growing numbness was Chris coming out of this alive.

You didn’t fight your coworkers when they gently pulled the two of you apart. Firstly because you didn’t have the strength. Secondly because you knew you had to recover first if you wanted to help him. And last of all

You trusted your family. Chris was well-loved, nobody in this room would forgive themselves if they couldn’t pull him through. You especially.

You got a drug induced full night’s rest for the first time in what felt like months. You were given a rapid rehydration and anti-malnutrition diet to compensate for the days you spent on the Squall. But, with lucidity came anxiety.

After loudly and stubbornly fulfilling the stereotype of doctors being terrible patients. You were permitted to do some very light data pad work in sickbay, where you could keep an eye on Chris.

The better part of a day has passed. You had settled into the unfocused dullness of busywork when a sharp gasp followed by a coughing fit made you drop everything.

Chris was awake! He tried to sit up, looking disoriented and afraid, no surprise considering how much danger there’d been the last time he was conscious. You moved so fast you practically transported to his side.

“Easy Chris, just lay back down, you lost a lot of blood.”

The Captain looked puzzled but relieved, he listened to you. He took your hand, normally he was so strong, but you could sense the exhaustion in his grip.

“You alright?” he asked “How long?” his voice cracked, it was practically non-existent, the strain was breaking your heart.

“Don’t try to speak. M’Benga and Christine have been taking excellent care as usual, but, we’re both still healing. You managed to take more damage from that pirate in five seconds than I did in two days. How’s that for unlucky?”

He glanced at you, half amused, half exasperated.

“Alright alright, you’ve been out for a little less than 24 hours, and you’ll be out of sick bay in a couple days IF you behave yourself. And since I’m confined to light labor only until I’m back in good condition…”

You circled the biobed, not letting go of his hand, and kissed him on the forehead.

“I’ll be sticking around doing absolutely nothing else, just to ensure you do.”

He laughed weakly, your hands broke away as you sat right next to him in sick bay. You had every intention of getting back to work, but you couldn’t take your attention off of him. So eventually you just gave up.

It was time to enjoy the quiet, no words, just the comfort of the mutual knowledge that both of you were breathing. Pirates, and paperwork, could wait forever for all you cared.

[amandaklwrites]

Top Ten Favorite Fictional Villains

Another Top Ten! And one of my favorites—my favorite fictional villains! I love villains way too much, and I always look for an interesting one. Villains that are more than just revenge or greed, ones that take another step forward, and I can understand them. So, here you go, with my favorite villains: I hope you enjoy.

1. The Darkling (Grisha Universe)

He was my first experience with loving a villain. In the sense that I wanted to know more about him. I was just out of high school with this series, and from this villain, I learned that you could make your villain so complicated that sometimes they seemed more gray than utter darkness (though I personally don’t think evil = darkness). He inspired my own tastes in villains and how I write villains, and that is why he has a special, dark place in my heart.

2. Maven Calore (Red Queen series)

MAVEN. Talk about an utter complicated, messed up person. You feel sorry for him all throughout the series. At least, I can personally understand how he became a villain, how twisted he became because of complicated, outside sources. But he still made decisions that weren’t right. I think he’s one of my favorites because of the deep, deep layers and scarring attached to him.

3. Loki (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

Loki was the first time I fell head over heels for a villain (I still don’t know if that’s a good thing?). He’s snarky as hell, magical, devious, hot as hell, and he’s intelligent. I like villains that are ten steps ahead of everyone (actually, that’s how my brain works, and I share personality types with him, so there’s that…). He’s interesting, complicated, but also flat out mischievous, and he does have a caring heart. I can’t wait to see his new tv series, just to see what they do with the “old Loki.”

4. Rumpelstiltskin (Once Upon a Time series)

I think everyone has a soft place for Rumple. He’s my top villain of the tv series, because he just IS. I know there’s some reasons for his choices, but he ultimately didn’t mean to become the Dark One, not in the way he expected. Yes, he wanted power, he wanted everyone to see him. But once he gets that power, there’s no reason behind it. He just likes to know everything, be ahead of everyone, to be hanging out in the background while the whole world sets itself on fire (yeah, that’s me too). He’s manipulative and cruel, but man, there’s a man beneath the beast, isn’t there?

5. Barbossa (Pirates of the Caribbean franchise)

Who doesn’t love Barbossa? He’s a fantastic pirate villain, one that turns into a frenemy (that’s what I would call him anyway). He completely flips by the fifth movie, but I loved that he was who he was, and he didn’t give a damn what anyone thought. Plus, he’s smart. He had to have some interesting background, because he’s intelligent, he speaks well, and that grammar isn’t one for a pirate. I want to know his past as much as his present, and I love seeing him on screen.

6. Moriarty (Sherlock Holmes fandom)

All Moriarty’s. I love the rich viciousness of this character. The one who likes to play games and watch everything unfold. Honestly, he rarely has his own hands dirty, he’s just the puppetmaster. (Okay, why do I like the villains that are always ahead of everyone else—oh that’s right, because I think of ten different things to say before someone responds, so I know where to turn, what to plan). There is a demented thing to him, and he seems so normal to everyone else around him. And he loves finding someone as smart as he. I’m all for it.

7. Zelena (Once Upon a Time series)

Yes, another ONCE villain. There are so many, but I loved Zelena. I love her transformation, that even though she becomes a “hero,” there are still qualities of her that are just her, even if they could be considered villainous. She’s human, with some magic, and that’s the bottom line. She’s the villain that I connect with, and I love her damn wit and sarcasm.

8. The Headless Horseman (Sleepy Hollow)

He’s scary, that’s the bottom line. And there’s something so mystical and awe-inspiring about him. I love seeing artwork, statues, people dressed as him. My personal favorite is the version from the tv series Sleepy Hollow, because that damn shot of him whipping out an automatic weapon blew my flipping mind.

9. The Devil/Luc (The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue)

I don’t know if you call him the Devil, as he himself doesn’t, but he technically is, or at least, what we consider the Devil. I like the lusciousness of him, the way he likes to show his smile as he makes your life crumble. He has humanistic qualities, that brings him down from that dais he created, but I like that he fights with himself over it. That he sneers, he stays quiet, he listens and watches, he punishes and delights. He’s just so fascinating and cool.

10. Pitch Black (Rise of the Guardians)

Up front, he would seem simple, which goes against what I said about how I like my villains complicated. He’s evil, he’s darkness, he’s nightmares. He’s the living embodiment of fear. Seems simple right? But I love him because he’s not. He may be terror incarnate, but he has the same desires as the heroes: to be believed in. Though his is for all the wrong reasons, you actually pity him at times. It’s not even necessarily about jealous, he just wants to be believed in. And I like that he’s used as a mirror to Jack Frost—a path Jack could have taken. It’s so interesting and I dig it so much.

Runner Up: Kylo Ren (Star Wars Universe)

Oh, Kylo. The bad boy that everyone loves and hates. I love him because to me, he’s like a scared little boy. He wants power, he wants a voice, he wants to find a place for himself. But he went down the wrong path. And he still reacts like a frightened child. He eventually changes and everything he believed crumbles around him, but he still has that path. It’s different and amazing to watch.

[fadedelegance]

https://www.insp.com/blog/matt-dillon-miss-kitty-a-dodge-city-love-affair/

I’m cool with them being subtle about it. As a fanfic writer, I love that. Gives me room to play.

They’re my OTP for fucking sure. I love writing them, and James Arness’ & Amanda Blake’s chemistry was off the charts. Matt & Kitty had some great moments. My favorite is “The Bullet”, the season 17 finale. All 3 parts are just so well-written, and Kitty delivers such a beautiful monologue about her and Matt. In my opinion, that should’ve been the series finale. In my head canon, it is: Matt decides that he’s ready to retire after almost losing the ability to walk. He and Kitty retire together, get married, and leave Dodge City. 🥰

What gets me about this article is that Amanda Blake was fired. At least the producer who sacked her admitted he made a mistake. Yeah, you fucking did, pal. I thought she left of her own volition. Clearly not! She just wanted a wardrobe update. Why the fuck not? She hadn’t had one in years. The budget had to be huge for that show! Why would that have been such an inconvenience?

Even if I didn’t ship Matt with Kitty, I would still make these criticisms:

Everything with Mike Yardner and Matt plays out like bad fanfiction, especially the movie where he learns he knocked her up, so they have a daughter…ALL THOSE YEARS AFTER THE FACT. Why wouldn’t she tell him about the baby sooner? Oh, that’s right: because Mike was never meant to be a significant character. It was so obvious that that movie was written years after the Mike episode. SO cringe. UGH. The Gunsmoke films are what Cursed Child is to Harry Potter. Just, dude, I’ve read plenty of fanfics that are FAR better written than that garbage. Everything with Matt & Mike Yardner is right out of a bad fanfiction or a soap opera. All of the Gunsmoke films were completely unnecessary. Sometimes it’s best just to let sleeping dogs lie. And this is probably an unpopular opinion, but I thought the last 3 seasons were superfluous. It’s sad when something genuinely good wears out its welcome because milking the cash cow becomes more important than producing high quality content. (Pirates of the Caribbean, Downton Abbey, & The Office all suffered the same fate, unfortunately.) I also thought “Kitty’s Love Affair” was god awful. I’m so sure Kitty would throw away the love she and Matt had spent years building for some guy she’d known for only a few days. Right. 🙄🙄🙄 And who proposes to someone they’ve known for at most a week? Bro, no one does that! That was such a poorly-written episode. I can not suspend my disbelief that much. Sorry not sorry. For not wanting to mess with romance, some of the writers sure messed with it—and not in a good way. They even said it wasn’t the point of the show, so why have any romance-centered drama? Why not just give little tidbits here and there that Matt and Kitty are together and just leave it at that? Also, I found Mike creepy. She knew Matt couldn’t remember anything, even who he was. It sounds like she took advantage of him. The idea of sleeping with someone with amnesia just doesn’t sit right with me, even if I knew them. Can they truly consent? Also, a character getting amnesia is a common soap opera trope. Why did such a great show like Gunsmoke have to go there? 🙄

Matt & Kitty had some great moments, but too much of the romance drama throughout the show and in the films was just so bad. The secondhand embarrassment was real! They wrote such a beautiful scene in “The Bullet: part 3” and then went and shot it all to hell with some subsequent seriously poor writing. But I agree: Matt & Kitty forever. “The Bullet: part 3” basically showed they were soulmates. Then the cash cow got in the way. As I’ve said with many other fandoms I’m in: thank God for fanfiction!

[veorlian]

honey tongue

The stories will tell you that falling in love with your best friend is as easy as breathing, that it's the height of romance. Varric Tethras had written far too many stories to believe that crock of nonsense.

my submissions for @hightown-funk are up!! here’s the first one <3

read it on ao3 here

The Hanged Man was legendary for two things: bar fights, and ale that was at least 50% vinegar. There were also the suspiciously sticky floors, the rooms you could rent by the hour, and enterprising individuals keen on relieving you of all that burdensome coin you had on you. It was what people had come to expect. The barkeep had offered a higher-quality ale once, and the regulars had stormed out in protest. And Maker have mercy if they ever decide to clean the place up a bit. There’d be riots in the streets.

Well. More riots than usual, at least.

Marian Hawke spent most evenings in the Hanged Man. The petty crime and general chaos faded into the periphery as she played Wicked Grace with her friends. It was replaced with a different kind of petty crime and chaos, but at least this was hers.

And speaking of chaos, at the moment Varric was regaling the crowd with the tale of their most recent trip to the Bone Pit. There was a rough semi-circle of regulars standing around Varric, with the kind of slack-jawed, wide-eyed expressions that normally accompanied one of his particularly tall tales.

He was in fine form. Marian had never quite figured out how he could look so laid back and engaged at the same time. She’d tried it once. Carver had just said that she looked constipated. Varric made it look easy. He made most things look easy.

“And then Hawke raised her sword and leaped through the air, landing on the dragon’s back, killing it in a single blow—”

“It was already mostly dead,” Garrett called. Marian flipped him off. A few of the stragglers towards the back of Varric’s audience turned to face the two of them.

“It was not,” Marian tossed back.

“Was too."

Marian rolled her eyes at her brother and leaned forward on the pitted table.

“Hey Varric, tell them about the part where I did a sick back-flip off of the dragon—”

“And fell on your ass—” Garrett interrupted. More of Varric’s audience turned now, their eyes bouncing back and forth between the twins like a tennis match.

“And landed perfectly and took a little bow,” Marian finished, pointedly ignoring Garrett. She kept her eyes fixed on Varric’s face, and the wry little twist of his lips.

“Of course! How could I forget,” he said, his eyes dancing. “As she struck the killing blow, the dragon came crashing down to the ground. Hawke gracefully leapt off of its back, landing neatly on the ground.”

“I can’t believe this,” Garrett complained. Varric continued to regale the audience with tales of the twins’ exploits. Marian patted Garrett on the arm in a way expertly calculated to be both patronizing and comforting.

“Sorry little brother, it’s just not very dramatic when you wave your fancy baton around,” Marian replied. “Doesn’t have the same impact as a bigass sword.”

“Last I checked, fireball has a hell of an impact,” Garrett shot back.

“Potato, potahto,” Marian said dismissively.

“There’s only one way to settle this,” he said. He rolled up his sleeves and set an elbow down on the table, his hand open. Marian smiled crookedly and did the same. Varric lost his audience again, as they formed a loose circle around the table. There was the clink of coin changing hands, and an exaggerated sigh and eye roll from Carver.

“My money’s on Hawke,” Isabela called.

“Which one?” Garrett and Marian asked in unison.

“Whichever one wins,” Isabela said cheerfully.

“I’m not sure that’s how that works,” Merrill murmured anxiously. Isabela waved her away airily and tossed a few coins on the table.

“Have you seen how ripped I am? Of course I’m gonna win,” Garrett said. Marian snorted and shook her head.

“Bigass sword. Fancy baton,” she said. She gripped Garrett’s hand, and the arm wrestling began. It was evenly matched, as most things were with the twins. But not for nothing did Marian swing around a giant hunk of metal nearly the same height as herself.

She slammed Garrett’s hand down into the table, grinning widely.

“Best two out of three,” he said immediately. She laughed and shook her head.

“You lost fair and square,” she said cheerfully. Garrett flipped her off and went to refill his drink. Marian glanced up to find Varric making his way over to the table, settling in his customary spot at her side.

“You couldn’t wait until I was done?” Varric asked agreeably. Marian shrugged nonchalantly.

“Not my fault your admirers couldn’t resist the lure of my rippling muscles,” she said. “You’ll just need to make me sound even cooler. What if I had a sword for a hand?”

“No good,” Varric replied, shaking his head, “it’d interfere too much with the romance scenes.”

“Varric, I’m not exactly seeing a lot of that kind of action at the moment,” Marian said dryly. “Let me have a giant sword for a hand. It’d be cool as hell.”

“C’mon Hawke, a romance plot is always more compelling. Why not ask the pirate?” he said, gesturing to Isabela. Isabela caught the motion and winked broadly at them. “I can see it now; a daring love story, set against the backdrop of a ship tossed at sea. Readers love that stuff.” Marian snorted derisively and shook her head.

“I’ve got enough going on trying to stop this city from going to hell,” she complained. There was a deep ache in her chest that she couldn’t quite place. Fortunately, she didn’t have to think about it for very long, because Garrett arrived back at the table, his arms full of terrible beer.

“How come I never get the big dramatic retellings?” he griped.

“Because you keep heckling me,” Varric said dryly. “Plus, you’re not as good-looking.”

Marian’s heart stuttered and fully came to a stop. She ducked her head to hide the blush that threatened to set her face on fire. What the hell…?

“Nonsense, I’m the prettiest person in Kirkwall,” Garrett said primly.

“C’mon, we all know that’s Merrill,” Marian said, swallowing down her embarrassment. A crooked grin spread across her face. “At least, that’s what Carver always says.”

“Hey—” Carver began.

The ensuing chaos and overlapping voices covered up the weird and alarming thoughts floating through Marian’s head.

 Plus, you’re not as good-looking.

Did Varric think she was good-looking?

Andraste’s sacred knickers, did that actually matter to her? Marian tossed back her drink in one go and stumbled to the bar to grab another.

Somewhere between the witching hours of 2am and 4am, the others traipsed out. Now, Marian was good at traipsing. She’d elevated it from a science to an art. She could traipse with the best of them. But when 4am rolled around, she didn’t.

It was a weekly ritual at this point, and it happened more often now that she was in that stuffy old mansion. Such a big place, but it felt like the walls were constantly creeping in on her. More than a few hours there and she felt like she couldn’t breathe.

And so.

“Varric, don’t make me walk all the way back to Hightown,” she would groan, and he would chuckle that warm chuckle that brought the blood rushing to her ears. Probably just the alcohol, she always thought.

“Alright, you can stay just this once,” he would say, and she would flash him a crooked grin.

“You’re my favourite.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere, serrah,” he’d say. She’d generally waggle her eyebrows at him suggestively, and they’d both laugh.

She didn’t remember when the flirting had started. A few minutes after they’d met, she figured. It was just a part of them, both of them. An easy way to keep everyone at arm’s reach. If they both agreed that it didn’t mean anything, then there was no harm no foul.

After all, it’s not like anything was ever going to come of it. Varric was happily married to a crossbow, and he’d repeatedly told her that he wasn’t into humans. So that was that. Marian was perfectly happy being Varric’s best friend and partner-in-crime.

And if she couldn’t sleep these days without hearing the gentle scritching of his quill on parchment, well, no one needed to know that. … Varric Tethras was a storyteller, most comfortable staying unobtrusively on the sidelines of a tale. It was safest that way really. Fewer people shooting at you, for one.

He couldn’t remember when it had started, becoming a part of Hawke’s story. He hadn’t been, at first. He’d been a plot device, a quest-giver just tagging along.

“You won’t even notice I’m here,” he’d told her. Varric Tethras: such a gifted liar that sometimes he almost convinced himself.

It had shifted by inches, their friendship. They’d gotten along almost instantly, like they’d just been waiting for the other to come along. So it was natural for them to spend most of their time together. And then it was natural for her to sleep on his couch when she was too drunk to walk home. His palatial suite at the Hanged Man was her palatial suite. That was all perfectly natural and normal and fine.

Until it wasn’t.

He couldn’t fall asleep these days until he heard her snoring (she and Dog seemed to be in a competition for who could be the loudest. On occasion it shook the dilapidated rafters).

She’d slipped into his life as easy as breathing. Easier, in some ways. So many little rituals. Like putting extra jokes into his manuscripts, just for her.

“Hey Hawke, you think you could give this a read for me?” he asked. She glanced up from where she was lounging on one of his chairs. She arched an eyebrow, a slow grin spreading across her face.

“Am I going to blush?” she asked. He chuckled and shook his head.

“I just want to make sure that I’ve got the character right,” he replied.

“Aw, you’re no fun,” she said cheerfully, already on her feet and moving to lean over his shoulder. She rested an elbow on top of his head, like he was an armrest. He cleared his throat pointedly.

“Problem, serah Tethras?” she asked innocently.

“Hands off the merchandise,” he said easily. She leaned down to meet his eyes, her haphazardly cut bangs flopping in her face.

“I think you’ll find it’s my elbow on the merchandise. Very different part of the body,” she pointed out. To prove her point, she shifted her arm and rested her hand on his shoulder instead. He rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t quite keep the smile off of his face.

“Just read the damn passage,” he said. She shrugged and turned her attention to the page. She hadn’t moved her hand, and the warmth slowly seeped into him. He realized with a start that he was leaning into her touch. What the hell?

The smell of cinnamon and honey drifted through the room. Not that that was unusual either. It clung to every part of the room. Even his trademark leather coat smelled permanently of cinnamon and honey, from that tea she drank at all hours of the day and night.

He missed it, when it wasn’t there.

He knew she’d gotten to the unflattering description of the Knight-Captain when she began to laugh. He thought her laugh was the best thing he’d ever heard. It wasn’t graceful by any means, caught somewhere between a cackle and a snort. But she laughed with her full body, like it was the funniest thing she’d heard in her life. Joyful, reckless abandon.

It was beautiful. She was beautiful.

 Oh.

With Hawke’s hand digging into his shoulder, her laughter ringing in his ears, the smell of cinnamon and honey on the air, Varric Tethras realized that he was in love.

Shit. … The stories will have you believe that revelations of love are dramatic, that they’re accompanied by flights of angels or some other shit like that. Marian Hawke had heard too many love stories to believe in them anymore.

She was sprawled along the couch leafing through Varric’s latest draft of The Tale of the Champion. She liked to leave little notes and doodles in the margins. It drove Varric’s editor up the wall. She heard Varric’s familiar footfalls coming up the stairs.

“Hey, you forgot to mention the bit where I single-handedly took down a chimera,” she called, not looking up. Varric hummed noncommittally in response. She glanced up from the page to study him. He was swaying slightly on his feet, eyes a little unfocused as he leaned against the doorframe.

“You okay?” she asked. “Merchant’s Guild crap?”

A ghost of a smile flickered across his face and he shook his head, running a hand through his graying hair.

“No, it’s not that,” he said. Marian’s eyebrows knitted together, and she shifted on the couch to make room for him. When he didn’t move, she pointedly patted the space next to her. When he still didn’t move, she made her way across the room to meet him.

“Then what is it, Varric? Crossbow troubles?” she asked. He looked away and his hand came up to rub at the back of his neck.

“Marian, I—” Record scratch, freeze frame. Varric never called her Marian. Never anything than Hawke, actually. He’d never even given her a nickname, like he had all the others. She was just Hawke.

“Didn’t realize you knew my name,” she managed. Another faint smile, only barely reaching his eyes. It was gone as soon as it came.

“Shit, I’m not good at this kind of thing,” he said. The smell of cheap ale and whiskey clung to him like a second skin.

“What kind of thing? You’re freaking me out, Varric.”

His warm amber eyes turned up to meet hers. Carefully, seemingly giving her every opportunity to move away, he reached up a hand on her face. Distantly, she realized he must be standing on his tip-toes. She might have laughed, if he hadn’t gently tugged her face down towards him.

His lips were softer than she’d imagined they’d be. His calloused hands tangled in her short hair, bringing her closer. She could taste the faint touch of alcohol on his tongue as her mouth slanted over his.

She looped an arm around his waist and easily lifted him up into the air.

“Hawke, put me down,” he said indignantly. She laughed breathlessly against his mouth.

“My shoulders were getting sore from bending over,” she said. She wound her free hand through his hair and tugged him back to kiss her again. She realized suddenly that she would be quite happy staying right here, like this, for the rest of her life. Well, maybe with a stool. She was strong, but Varric was sturdy. He’d probably whack her on the arm if she told him that though.

She set Varric down on the table, standing between his legs and bringing both hands up to cup his face.

“Better?” she whispered. He grumbled something indistinct and unflattering that was abruptly cut off as she began to trail kisses down to his neck.

“Would you believe that I’ve wanted to do this for years?” he rasped. Hawke stilled. And then, she began to laugh, resting her forehead against Varric’s.

“Well, there’s no call to be rude,” he said. She pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, still chuckling.

“I have as well,” she said at last.

“Ah,” Varric managed. And then, “So, what now?”

“You in a rush, Tethras?” Marian asked. She gently tipped his chin up to face her. “Seems to me we’ve got all the time in the world.”

“So we do,” he said, and he kissed her again.

[nexttrickanvils]

Beware of Karen Ch. 2

Sorry this took so long, had other priorities but here is the long awaited chapter 2 of Beware of Karen.

Summary: After Guybrush and Stan fail to deal with the latter’s ex-wife, Elaine decides to throw her hat into the ring. It goes about as well as you expect. ---------

Elaine hummed to herself as she set the table. While Guybrush was admittedly the better cook of the two, she still wanted to surprise her Pikaroni with a nice romantic dinner. Preferably without a certain plaid wearing charlatan joining them.

While Elaine had nothing against Stan… well okay maybe she had a lot against Stan… but that wasn’t the point, she’d prefer if he hadn’t attempted to drag her and Guybrush in an ex-lover’s quarrel of all things.

But she trusted Guybrush’s wit and uncanny ability to find absurd but simple solutions to absurd problems.

Before long, she could hear footsteps on the deck, she quickly lit the candles and plated the food.

“Welcome back, sugarboots! I hope you’re...”

The door opened and in came Guybrush… and Stan.

“Hey honey! Ooh are those potstickers I smell?”

“...Guybrush… I thought you were going to help Stan with his ex-wife and thus he would not bother us.” Elaine said, gritting her teeth

Guybrush, to his credit, looked apologetic.

“Well I did try, I honestly did but well… let’s just say Stan wasn’t exaggerating about how awful Karen is. So I guess Stan will be staying with us until Karen leaves.”

Elaine groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. Guybrush sighed and placed his hands on her shoulders.

“I know, I was really excited for all the quality time too but Elaine, you have no idea just how evil this woman is. I couldn’t just leave Stan to fend for himself against her, I’m a pirate not a monster!”

“...Really? And please do tell me, what makes her so terrible that Stan has to go in hiding with us?” Elaine asked, clearly unconvinced

“Well first: I could barely breathe around her stall, the perfume she was selling was that thick! She was also really pushy with the sales pitch like waaaaay worse than Stan. She also kept making all these mean comments about me being a terrible husband and how our marriage would fall apart if I didn’t buy her stuff. And she threatened to call the island authorities on Stan if he even thought of setting up shop near her! And he didn’t even do anything!”

Elaine raised an eyebrow, “Hm, I admit she does actually sound awful. But being pushy and rude are hardly the crimes of the century, sweetie.”

“Oh it goes beyond “pushy and rude.”” remarked Stan, mouth full of potstickers

“Karen thrives on “the hunt.” All she cares about is her next sale!"

"...Sounds like you." Elaine and Guybrush both remarked

"Oh no no no, my friends. I admit that Ol' Stan here may have exaggerated or cut some corners here and there. But hey sometimes that's what you gotta do when your clientele are a buncha rowdy swashbucklers!"

Stan continued, while grabbing another pot sticker, "Karen on the other hand… she has no respect for the art of sales, it's all a means to an end for her. And if anyone gets in the way of that precious end sale even if it’s only in her mind, she will destroy you! By the way, these are amazing, you could make a killing selling these.”

Once again, Elaine found herself not entirely convinced.  Stan stuffing himself with the food she made for herself and Guybrush didn’t help his case. But he also couldn’t really be considered a reliable narrator. And Guybrush, her dear Threepy, the love of her life… well he was quite prone to exaggeration.

Elaine sighed, well she wouldn’t be where she was now if she just sat and complained about a bad situation.

“Perhaps… I should speak to her…”

“NO!” Shouted both Guybrush and Stan

She just gave them a confident smile, “Oh don’t worry about me. I’m sure if I went without Stan, she won’t be as volatile. And besides, all my years as governor has given me quite the experience of negotiating with stubborn egotistic business owners. You remember that incident at the O'Malley's Galley last year, don’t you dear?”

Guybrush let out a small laugh and a blush, obviously remembering how Elaine dealt with the restaurant's owner after the man refused Guybrush's request to not serve the food on porcelain plates.

Elaine kissed Guybrush on the cheek, "I'll be fine dear. You just relax and I'll come back with the good news."

Then she looked over at Stan, "...And I suppose you just do what you can to entertain yourself."

And with that, Elaine made her way off the boat and into town. As she made her way, she kept rehearsing in her head how she'd calmly confront Karen.

However when Elaine arrived and started asking the other merchants about Karen, a feeling of dread began to form.

They were all smiles and sales until Elaine explained who she was looking for. They all suddenly dropped their grins and immediately apologized to Elaine for "wasting her time."

The most concerning interaction was from one merchant who told Elaine where Karen was then immediately begged her to not tell Karen that the two of them spoke.

Before long, Elaine found the woman of the hour making a sale.

"Trust me, dearie, this color and this scent are perfect for you! You'll be catching everyone's eye in no time!"

The female pirate grinned as she paid for her goods.

"Just remember, no refunds on used products."

"Yeah yeah yeah. Look out, Single's Night, Mama's coming!"

Elaine stepped aside to let the lady walk by then she took a deep breath and steeled herself.

"Excuse me? Are you Karen?"

"Hm?"

Elaine felt a shiver down her spine when Karen smiled at her.

“Well hello there, my dear! Whatever you need, I’ve got it.”

“Actually I’m not here to shop. You met my husband earlier? Guybrush Threepwood?”

“Ohhh! So he gave you the free sample? I knew you couldn’t resist! A woman of your taste would know fine class when you see it.”

Karen chuckled as she immediately looked through her inventory while Elaine was already finding her patience tested.

“Please just listen to me. I understand that your relationship with your ex-husband is… strained but it’s gotten to the point where he’s hiding on my and my husband’s ship trying to get away from you.”

“Hmph, Stan, being an absolute freeloader? You don’t say. Anyway…!”

To Elaine’s surprise, Karen grabbed her face.

“H-hey!”

“Hm, you look like a spring or autumn to me.”

Elaine quickly pushed her off though if that bothered Karen, she didn’t show it and went straight back to her sales pitch.

“Now your face is rather pale, you look like a ghost, dearie! Oh and you need to ditch that bandana, it clashes with your hair."

"Would you just LISTEN to me! I am not here to buy anything! Or to get make-up advice. Or whatever you think I'm here for! I need for you and Stan to reconcile whatever is going on with you two so my husband and I can be alone!"

With that, Karen just laughed.

"Oh you poor innocent sucker. There is no reconciling with that selfish mess of a man. But that's marriage for you, the minute the wifey has a problem, she's suddenly a nagging witch, am I right?"

Elaine's patience was growing thinner and thinner as she crossed her arms and glared at Karen.

"Fine. You two just can't get along, just fine. But at the very least just let Stan be. My husband and I have been looking forward to a nice romantic vacation and we can't exactly do that with Stan around.

Karen smirked and Elaine once again felt an icy chill.

"Oh really? And what do you think your "dear" husband and Stan are doing while they sent you to do their dirty work?"

"I volunteered…"

Karen continued, ignoring Elaine's correction, "They're probably just lazing about on the deck, pigging out on junk and guzzling grog. I was one of the lucky ones. I realized what a scam the whole marriage thing is and got out of there. I've still got my divorce lawyer's card, you know, when you realize that you don't need to settle with that blonde idiot."

Karen pulled out a card and placed it into Elaine's pocket. Without hesitation, Elaine grabbed Karen's wrist with an iron grip.

"HEY!!!"

“Now listen here, you can insult me all you want but my husband is a good man. He may have his moments but that goes for anyone. Do you know what we've faced off against together? Some of the fiercest pirates on the Seven Seas including the undead monster LeChuck. A real estate developer with delusions of grandeur who had the power to make mice out of men. A mad scientist obsessed with eternal life! Guybrush even conquered DEATH! And through all that, Guybrush has always been respectful, caring, and loving!”

Elaine let go of Karen's wrist but kept her steely glare on her.

"My husband may not be perfect but I cannot see myself with anyone else. Now I believe our business is done here."

Karen rubbed her wrist as she gave Elaine her own glare.

"Hmph, I suppose it is. But I am a forgiving sort. I'd be happy to help you once you figure things out."

Refusing to dignify Karen's response, Elaine simply turned around and walked away.

As Elaine stepped out of the marketplace, a shrill scream filled the air.

She looked toward the noise and saw the female pirate from earlier desperately trying to shake off two monkeys climbing all over her.

Elaine quickly came to the woman's rescue, shooing the monkeys away from her, giving the other pirate enough time… to dunk her head in the nearby fountain.

Whatever that did, it seemed to cause the monkeys to lose interest and run off.

"Oh thank Blackbeard's frilly underthings."

"Are… you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I will be."

"What in the world even happened?"

"Oh I'll tell ye what happened! I went to the bar to get ready for Single's Night and put on somea that goop that fast-talking she-devil sold me. Next thing I knew, the bar's monkey mascots were all over me."

"...And you're certain that it was the make-up that caused this?"

"DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEONE A MONKEY'D BE ATTRACTED TO TO YA!? They left me alone just fine then I put on that damn perfume and other stuff and they went crazy! "You'll be catching everyone's eyes in no time" apparently that includes mangy beasts!"

The other pirate stood up and emptied her bag of Karen's products. She then walked away, grumbling about her wasted money and time.

Maybe it was Guybrush's influence but Elaine couldn't help but pick up a couple of the fallen cosmetics.

Eventually Elaine made her way back to the Screaming Narwhal. Guybrush and Stan were on the deck though unlike Karen's prediction, Guybrush was practicing his banjo playing while Stan just read a book.

Guybrush immediately noticed Elaine walking onto the deck and smiled. At least Elaine had that.

"Plunderbunny! So um… how did it go?"

"...I apologize, you were both right. She's the absolute worst, how do we get rid of her?"

[ace-in-a-shopping-cart]

Director’s Cut Chapter 8: The Town

Director’s cut chapter 7

In the third week of Virgil being there, Thomas sought him out in the library. If he had come at any other time it might have been hard to find him. As Logan was focused on the pirate situation, he had abandoned his personal studies and, consequently, Virgil. As a result, Virgil had found a small, out of the way nook and had managed to wedge himself into it in a comfortable position. It was nice to have constant pressure after all. It made him feel like he was underwater again. He just so happened to have finished his book before Thomas came in. Consistent pressure is proven to help with ADHD.

So, instead of finding the mer curled in a corner that would have taken Thomas ages to find as Virgil tuned the world out, he found him half-way up a ladder with a large book in his hands. “Virgil?” Thomas asked, trying not to startle him. Read: Hyperfocused.

Luckily, Virgil’d wrapped a leg around the ladder and had a tight grip with one hand. He looked down and smiled brightly. “Thomas! What can I do for you?”

Thomas waited until both of Virgil’s feet were firmly on the ground again before speaking. “I was heading into town and wondered if you wanted to come with me.”

Virgil nodded. “You were thinking I might remember something or someone might spot me that would recognize me, right?” Because all that mattered was to find his memory and get out of their gills.

Thomas laughed and scratched the back of his neck. “Well, I actually thought it would do you good to get out of the castle grounds and get some exercise in.”

Virgil smiled. “Is anyone else going or will it just be the two of us?”

“Logan’s coming too.”

Virgil nodded. “Just give me a few minutes to get ready and I’ll meet you by the front door.” Thomas nodded and left with a smile. 

Virgil put the book he’d just grabbed down on a desk, putting a note on it to make sure the librarians don’t put it away. He grabbed the discarded beanie from the nook and ran up to his room to grab the slip of paper with the description of the crystal on it. He quickly made his way back downstairs to see that the two brothers were waiting at the door for him.

“Sorry for taking so long.” Virgil said as he approached.

Logan smiled. “It wasn’t that long.” He gave him a once over. “You got everything you need?”

“Yep.” He held up the scrap of paper. “I’ve got everything.”

“What’s that?” Thomas asked as he led the way around to the storage area for the vehicles. From what Virgil managed to learn from Logan, they were taking a car instead of the land kelpie that Logan called a motorcycle.

“It’s a piece of paper I had in my hand when I woke up. I think it might help me remember something.”

Logan smiled, leaning to put a hand on his shoulder. “Thomas only has some errands to run. While he’s doing that, we can look for whatever’s on the paper.”

Virgil was suddenly aware of the pit that was in his stomach lessening, his breathing getting a bit easier. He might be back in the ocean before the third tide came in and that thought made him almost giddy. He had a hard time staying still during the car ride, looking out the window for even a glimpse of the water, of home. He didn’t like the seatbelt he had to put on when he got in but he didn’t mind it all that much if it meant that he got to travel.

Soon enough, they were at the town and they were spilling out of the car. Virgil tried to stick close to Logan at first while Thomas went off to get his things, a guard trailing after each group, but his curiosity got the better of him. He wanted to look at everything that caught his attention so he was wandering from storefront to storefront, just looking in the windows. At one point, he found a store that really held his attention and he had to stop himself from pressing his whole face into the glass. Here we are at the beginning of the physical hyperactivity that will persist until close to the end of the chapter when he’s worn himself out. This is also an instance of the short attention span as he flits from window to window.

The whole store was filled with candy the likes of which Virgil had never seen. There were large bricks of brown candy sitting on slabs of wood, paper in between the bricks. Behind them, Virgil could see cases of candy of all different shapes, sizes, and colors. He was sure that if he simply focused on his reflection, he would have looked like a love struck guppy. 

Behind him, Logan laughed. “I see you found the candy store.”

Virgil turned to him, hands still pressed against the window. “Is that what this is?” His voice was filled with wonder at the new experience.

Logan nodded, his eyes crinkling at the sight of Virgil’s excitement. “Yes, that’s a candy shop.” He shook his head, smile still in place. “I forget you don’t have all your memories sometimes.”

Virgil nodded, finally stepping away from it. “Maybe we can get some candy on our way back. I think we should keep looking for this gem right now.”

Logan nodded, moving to walk beside Virgil rather than trail behind him. Walking along the street, they ducked into every jewelry store they saw, Virgil questioning the store clerks about the description. Every one of them turned up empty. They even tried the rockhound shop they found along the way but that turned out to be a dried riverbed as well. 

Eventually, they came across an art store. Logan got excited and dragged Virgil in to look at all the canvases and the paint selection. Virgil got distracted by the bookmarks at the front desk, putting the paper down to look at them. Some had patterns on them similar to the star shapes he saw in the night sky, others looked like the nebulas that were visible from sea, still others were patterned to look like waves but were iridescent when moved. The ones that truly stood out to him were iridescent ones that looked like scales, reminding him of his own shimmering purple tail. Short attention span is actually useful for once!

He was startled back into reality when the attendant at the front desk picked up the piece of paper he’d set down, glancing over it. “Are you looking for this?” They asked.

Virgil looked up, seeing the paper in their hands. “Yes, I’m looking for a stone that matches that description. Do you happen to know where I can find one?”

“You could try the costume store on the other side of the city. Or there’s the jewelry store in that same area that might do it for you. It depends on how good quality you want out of it.”

Virgil smiled, the excitement building in his chest as he thought about being back home soon. Strangely, a bittersweet sadness mixed with the joy, as he knew he would miss the humans he was staying with. Thinking of which, Logan came back behind him with a few tubes of paint in his hands and a smile on his face. Trouble with self-regulation of emotions.

Virgil laughed, seeing the way he almost dropped the items as he approached. “You got that?”

Logan nodded, dropping the objects on the counter. “Virgil, they’ve got so much stuff here, we’ve gotta come back soon!”

Virgil smiled, his hand reaching out to graze against one of the tail bookmarks. Logan noticed and quietly nudged him as the attendant rang up the paints. “Pick one and I’ll pay for it.”

Virgil looked at him, awe invading his gaze. “Really?”

Logan nodded and Virgil shyly picked up a bookmark that was almost the exact shade of his tail, the scale pattern shimmering as it was moved. Logan smiled and added it to the pile as Virgil slipped his paper back into his pocket. Soon, they were exiting the store. Logan glanced at Virgil. “Does anything seem familiar?” His voice held a tone of hope.

Virgil shrugged, hands in his pockets. “The store clerk said we might be able to find the stone on the other side of the city.” He thought back to the bookmarks. “I recognized some of the constellations on the bookmarks, as well as some of the patterns seemed familiar.”

Logan smiled. “That’s good news, Virgil!” He nudged him with his shoulder, causing the mer to be off balance and stumble to the side. Catching on quickly, Virgil shoved him back. They continued their game for a few more paces before Logan’s pocket dinged.

Pulling out the same box from all those weeks ago, a phone, Logan read over and responded to a text before turning around. “Come on, Thomas is done with his errands and agreed to meet at the candy store you found earlier.”

Virgil frowned. “But what about the store across the city?”

Logan smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry, bookworm. We’ll come back in a week and we can go then, is that okay?”

Virgil nodded even as his eyes stung. He knew it couldn’t be helped but it still hurt. “Yeah,” he choked out, “that works.” He tried to hide his disappointment the best he could.

Logan held the door open as they entered. “How about you pick out a candy for yourself and Roman, hmm? I want to talk to Thomas about something real quick but I’ll join you soon.”

Virgil made a noise of understanding and pasted on a fake smile, pushing the thought of the crystal to the back of his mind as he looked through the overwhelming amount of candy in front of him. The smells swirling around the building were almost too much to bear all at once. Even so, he watched Logan walk away before turning to scan the merchandise. He felt vulnerable without the familiar figure of Logan by his side but he knew the bodyguard that followed him would keep him safe. Soon, that fake smile became real as he lost himself in the sweets. 

It took him longer than he thought it would, Thomas and Logan having already picked out their treats. They’d even stayed in a group so the bodyguards could pick out treats as well but Virgil still wasn’t done. When he finally was, he settled on a mix of sour and sweet shark shaped gummies for Roman and a stick of rock candy for himself. It reminded him of the coral that populated the area around his home, the bright blue being a nice contrast to everything around them. ADHDers have a harder time making quick decisions.

As they were exiting, Virgil wanted nothing more than to close his eyes, to protect them from the too bright lights, and lay his head on Logan’s shoulder in the hopes of sleeping, even for a few minutes. He knew that when they got back to the castle, he’d disappear into his little alcove that no one but he knew of, and just sit by himself for a while. It had been a good trip, but it had also been an exhausting trip. Slight sensory overload combined with crashing from the physical hyperactivity. I get very tired after having physical hyperactivity as the hyperactivity usually presents itself as talking quickly or mental hyperactivity.

✴ ✴ ✴

He watched as they exited the building, Logan laughing at something Thomas said and the other with them strangely subdued from what he’d been watching the rest of the trip. Ducking back, he stayed out of sight as the trio climbed into their car, the tall one in the middle between the royals. Cursing, he slunk away, his left eye starting to glow as he crept into the dark of the alley behind him. He had hoped to get him this time but knew another opportunity would present itself. He just had to be patient. Patience was a virtue he’d learned a long time ago. He could wait as long as it took. One day, he would have him in his grasp.

Director’s cut chapter 9

[henrikvanderswoon]

Ransom of the Seven Ships Reactions

Alright, kiddos, strap on your uhhhhhhh PiRaTe BoOtS and sail with me on a perilous journey toward saving *looks at smudged writing on hand* Bees. Yes. I would like to save the bees.

Anyway, I have some coffee, I'm multitasking cause I'm also at work, and I'm ready to play this game that I only played once when it first came out and never picked up again. I remember basically nothing about it so this should be an experience and a half. 😂 I'm also probably going to be working on it in bits and pieces but I'll try to put it all into this one post, so let's see how this goes!

*

AH YES... IT BEGINS:

God I love this lil gnome guy sittin in the neighbor's yard. Normally, I'd give this game a 0/5 stars, but because of this gnome I will give it 0.5.

When you go to a place called Dread Isle and don't expect to get kidnapped... Pffftt. Also there's literally NO ONE in the island, and no one found that suspicious?? Bess and George better step up their game.

GOD. The fact that George wasnt just STANDING AT THE DOCK waiting for Nancy to arrive so she could ask the pilot for help is cracking me up. Like she's just deadass BOLTING and fails to say, I dunno, maybe: "NANCY. DON'T LET THE PILOT LEAVE, BESS IS MISSING!"

Poor George's mouth is the width of her head.

They found a graphic artist who only specializes in environments and the occasional animal and said: "You're hired! Now, design a human face."

What the fuck is this puzzle about the battery water levels in the golf cart? I must be an idiot cause nothing's working. Am I stupid??? Probably.

I'm shifting the little knobs and pressing the button and nothing happens... oh NO.

I'm not 15 minutes into the game and I'm now setting Nancy on fire for fun.

Ha HAAA. I am an idiot. I didn't know I could press the blue buttons on the little water tubes. Well, Squidward, what have we learned today? Don't be like me, kids.

Shit, I spilled coffee on my puzzle solving notebook. Is this what I get for making fun of the graphics and playing on the clock?

Dwayne...that accent is literally the most horrendous thing I've ever heard and I want to smack you in the head with your own metal detector.

What the fuck kind of accent is he even TRYING to imitate? Because that is NOT Jamaican (also...his white-ass couldn't pass for Jamaican even if his life depended on it).

Dwayne, this is why your acting career ended before it even began.

Also Nancy is an idiot for falling for it.

There's a behavioral center for monkeys here... but there are no people to take care of the place? Nancy why aren't you more suspicious of this???

The fact that the monkey reaches behind itself when you say, "I would like to play a game with you." Is so funny. Like the monkey just has the game at the ready like: "Oh, good, let's see what I have in my collection."

Coucou fuckin ANNIHILATED that guava, like it was spewing pieces that weren't even it's own color I'm crying.

If anyone's looking for me, check under my bed and you'll find me sobbing over this Krolmeister Bat Seeker battery puzzle.

I wrote this and then immediately solved the puzzle. Complaining; it pays off, folks.

If I complain enough about this digging puzzle, will I also finish it faster? Because the instructions make me want to pull my hair out 🙃

I'm slowly beginning to realize me playing this game is going to be nothing more than a series of complaints listed one right after the other. I'M SORRY.

I'm also beginning to realize why I never picked this game up again hhhhhhh

It's been three days. I haven't seen or heard from George since the last time I visited the resort. I am sunburned, my fingers have all but congealed themselves to the handle of this shovel. "Times two," I mutter. The sound of the sand shifting under my heavy footfalls no longer brings me any kind of solace. It's just me and the coconuts now. Somewhere in the distance I can still hear Dwayne's god-awful accent. I forgot what Bess looks like. Who's Ned?

Oh, wait, I figured out the digging puzzle 🤪

Okay, I will say though. I do have a fun time figuring out what the messages in the journal say based on the little coded symbols. I genuinely enjoy this.

Now... following the instructions the coded message gives me??? Not so much.

Nancy, you mean to tell me you just conveniently know how to throw a sail onto a fucking sailboat and just... do it correctly in less than one second?? Okay.

How the fuck did an ORCA WHALE jump up and hit my boat????

This whole "boating and driving" thing I already wasnt here for. This whole "boating and driving against wind and sand that will slow you down to a snail's pace" I'm here for even less.

I genuinely forgot I could play as George in this.

Nancy and George referring to Nancy as "Detective Drew" over the walkie really just... wow, that is... really somethin' 😂

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard." I dont know what you're talking about, Coucou, but same.

Even though I've been doing work throughout this process, I'm this 👌🏻 close to begging my boss to send me something to work on hhhhhh.

Okay, I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I'm only just realizing that Coucou js repeating all the phrases she hears the resort guests saying..... which I think is a very cute addition to this game and maybe the single redeaming quality 😂

Alrighty I gotta have lunch and my boss wants to have meetings with us this afternoon so I gotta blast. But... just like Dwayne Powers, I WILL BE BACK.

[my-whumpy-little-heart]

I wanna make Percival tell Floyd how he feels about while he's right there it just sounds fun

I swear this was meant to be a few sentences long, but you gave the salty pirate man speaking rights after months of me having revoked them, so this is basically a whole scene. I grimaced at a good few of his sentences because I forgot just how awful this man can be. Welcome to Percival’s lovely mind.

And also I just reread your ask and my brain just now considered that I may have Read That The Wrong Way but not completely sure. If so I’m so very sorry. Word Processing didn’t happen today. Uhhhhhhhh soooooo hope this answer is okay??

CW: discussion of food and eating problems, nonconsensual touching (nonsexual), and general derogatory language that brushes up against dehumanization. Also, uh, torture.

Percival turns away from Floyd, who is kneeling with his back to the wall and his arms restrained over his head. There’s a clear, cylindrical rod of what must be ice perched on his wrist cuffs, pressing between the reddened skin of both his arms and dripping water down them. His face twists in something like agony, but you can’t imagine what’s hurting him so badly.

“Benedict, you mean? Oh, why didn’t you say so in the first place? You didn’t have to drug me to get me to say he’s just a tool,” he laughs lightly and Floyd shudders, grimace twisting into a frown as his arms shake. “I’ve known there was magic on that ship for a few years now, ever since our first encounter, but it was always so weak that I assumed they’d merely brushed arms with a magician.

“Why, it was only in our last scuffle across that little town that I even realized the magic was being exuded by a person. And such a sickly little thing too!” Percival grins, ruffling Floyd’s hair and chuckling at the shudder he gets in response. “And don’t try to tell me he wouldn’t be all sickly if he weren’t on such a strict diet. First of all, we can’t go wasting our rations just because someone’s ‘starving’ or ‘hasn’t eaten in three days,’“ he mimes quotes with his hands, a drawn out sarcastic tone accompanying them.

“The consequences for breaking rules are the same for everyone else on this ship. If you go around breaking rules, you don’t get to eat. Sure, everyone has different rules, some more difficult to follow than others, but most everyone seems to have no problem with following them.”

Percival pauses for a second, crouching down to Floyd’s level.

“And if you’re thinking about pitying him at all, just know this isn’t anything new, is it buttercup?” His captive looks up at him, jerking away when fingers trace lightly over his prominent ribs. It’s obvious, as Percival reaches out and smooths over them again, that those ribs would still be visible even if his arms weren’t extended over his head. “This sort of progress doesn’t happen after just a week or two, you know. He’s definitely had problems with that for a while now,” he addresses you casually even as he faces away, dragging fingers down to trace over Floyd’s abdomen.

He’s silent for a while, seemingly transfixed as he traces and presses on what seem to be precise points. He reaches up to gather water droplets dripping off of the ice and skates light fingertips back down across his torso. Floyd’s eyes are squeezed shut and his breathing is shallow. It’s... uncomfortable. When Percival finally snaps out of it and stands up, the rest of the room breathes a sigh of relief.

“And yes, I would have taken him right when I realized what he was,” he shrugs, seemingly not realizing that he’s completely jumped subjects. “Like I said, it’s not every day you find someone with Benedict’s specific flavor of magic, and it would have been so easy to take him then too. He was staggering and stumbling down an empty street like a drunk, and I’d been ready to take him back with me before his damn captain showed up…”

“Right, you wanted to hear what I think about the little pyro. In part, he’s a quality of life sort of thing. Having a walking match around comes in handy, you know. Well, you may not know. But I do. My last experience with a flaming soul may not have ended the way I intended, but that just opened the door for this darling to come bounding into my life.”

Behind Percival, said ‘darling’ shakes his head adamantly, muttering to himself. It isn’t exactly clear which part of the past statements caused his distress. Percival takes a breath to go on, but his voice doesn’t even leave his mouth before a different sound replaces it. 

The rod of ice braced between Floyd’s wrists slips out, spins to the side, hits the floor, and shatters. For a second, nobody moves. Another passes. Then another. Floyd lets out a shuddering breath, a silent sob, and Percival finally turns around.

On the bare skin where the rod had been, there’s now visible burns likely caused by salt placed on the skin before the ice. Percival reaches down, placing his thumbs over the circular burns and rubbing them as Floyd cries out. 

“What did I tell you about stopping before it melted completely?”

“It just slipped! Please, I really didn’t mean to, I was just tired and my arms wouldn’t- they wouldn’t stop shaking!” Floyd shouts.

“It would have gone faster had you tried harder. Really push your magic next time, and don’t go wasting the ice again.”

Percival steps towards the door with a huff, about to head out and grab another rod of ice when he remembers you’re still watching on.

“Excuse me,” he nods at you with a slight scowl before he walks out. 

The room falls silent, then. Floyd gives you a pleading glance, opens his mouth to speak, and then shakes his head to himself again. You decide it’s best to take your virtual leave before Percival gets back.

[ericsonclan]

Winter Market

Summary: The Ericson Pirates go to a marketplace to get gifts to celebrate each other and the time of year.

Word Count: 5494

Read on AO3:

It was getting to the end of the year. The days flew by and with it so did the seasons. At least that’s what the Ericson Pirates had heard in other areas in the world. But here on the seven seas every day was rarely different. Most days were rather sunny with small specks of clouds drifting through the sky, other days the clouds would take over more parts of the bright blue sky and on occasion rain would drizzle from the heavens. Today, however, was an ordinary day on Ol’ Kickass. The sun shone brightly, beaming down of the different crew members who went about their daily tasks. Except today there was a brighter energy surrounding the crew, more excited and giddy than usual. For today they were sailing towards Salisly Wharf, a port town that according to Louis had the most beautiful marketplace in this corner of the seas. The captain had even heard rumors that during the wintertime their marketplace threw together an even more dazzling array of trinkets and such to sell.

“Marlon!” Willy leaned over from his perch in the crow’s nest. “I see the port town!”

“That’s great, Willy!” The blond pirate smiled up at his friend. “Shout out the coordinates for me.”

Willy nodded and within seconds he was giving instructions to Marlon who did his best to steer the ship. Louis called out to his crew, giving the appropriate directions to safely dock Ol’ Kickass. Each pirate moved around efficiently, their years on the seven seas were evident in how smoothly they worked together. After a half hour they had safely docked the ship and with the joint effort of Sophie, Brody and Ruby the anchor had securely been placed.

“Alrighty,” Louis jumped up on the side of the ship, his black boots barely holding him upright. Snatching a rope and twirling it around his arm, he leaned aesthetically to greet his crew. “Today is a special day. This is a day about fun and that’s it. There are only two rules,” The pirate captain held up two fingers. “One, no trying to sneak peeks at others’ purchases. You’ll just have to wait for the gift exchange happening later on. Two, stick with your buddy and don’t do anything to get caught.”

The Ericson Pirates all nodded and chattered in agreement. They were pretty standard rules, each pirate knew that the last thing they needed was another spot to mark on their map to not return to. Some of the crew seemed especially serious about this rule, especially Brody and Ruby who didn’t want to lose a potentially great marketplace for another misunderstanding. The pirates all exited the ship, walking down onto the docks having already split off into their different groups. Sophie led the way with Willy and AJ who giggled and dragged the redhead forward to get to the marketplace fast. The others watched in amusement when AJ accidentally pulled too hard on one of Sophie’s braces. The leather thumb brace slid off, causing the young teen to land on his butt with a small thunk. AJ blinked for a second when Willy devolved into a fit of laughter. AJ and Sophie joined in before their young crewmate got up on his feet and returned the brace.

“I’m sorry,” AJ’s eyes glanced up at Sophie before falling.

Sophie gave a chuckle and ruffled his hair. “Nah, it’s my bad. Didn’t secure it right,” she smiled before working to readjust her brace. Marlon was about to step forward and help his wife but stopped when he saw that Willy was already helping Sophie.

“Gotta make sure that the straps are tight, okay?” Willy stuck his tongue out as he worked to adjust the brace. “There!”

“Thanks,” Sophie patted the lanky teen’s head. “Alright, time to shop.” With that the three sprinted off ahead of the others. The trio stopped when they had reached the marketplace, looking at it with large eyes that sparkled in awe. Booths of all shapes and sizes filled the town square. More colors than the mind could comprehend danced around here and there as live music played by the central fountain. Townsfolk were dancing and spinning around the fountain while light blue and white petals covered not only the pavement of the market area but also were placed along different buildings and stalls.

“This. Is. So. Cool!” Willy jumped up and down. “Look at that!” He pointed at a booth with different weapons. “That booth is cool too!” He gestured over to a booth that held different metal trinkets decorated with a variety of symbols.

AJ did a little dance and spun around. “I want to check out every stand!”

“Okay,” Sophie smiled happily, her hands lazily placed behind her head. Her gentle blue eyes wandered around, taking in every single aspect of the marketplace. To think that she would be able to enjoy a day like this with all of her closest friends and with her husband. Sophie glanced back and shared a smile with Marlon. It was more than she ever expected to be able to have in her lifetime. She looked back at the marketplace, a soft laugh escaping her lips when Willy and AJ argued over who had won the race to the water fountain when she noticed a striking yet soft shade of blue. A shade she had never seen before. It captivated the redhead pirate who wandered over towards it with eyes that danced with wonder.

“Ah, I see you have taken a liking to the Heart of the Sea,” The seller’s voice snapped Sophie back into reality.

“Oh yes, I’ve never seen a blue like this before,” Sophie cautiously reached forward and picked up the container of blue powdered dust. The salesman gave a hearty laugh.

“I should hope not. That powder is harvested from the seashells of Salisly Wharf. You’ll not find a shade of blue like that anywhere else on the seven seas.”

Sophie studied the powder with curiosity. It seemed like a thing Tenn would like. It would still be a little while before she could visit Halverport but still she could just imagine the look in Tenn’s eyes when he received her gift, the excitement and curiosity that would dance within them. He could even use it to paint the walls of the cottage with Minnie. It would certainly brighten them up and bring a new energy to the place.

“Maybe a demonstration would help convince you,” The man took the container and dipped two of his fingers into the dust. Using the rock to his left he began to draw a picture with the blue. It really was a beautiful color. After a minute the display of the item was done and the man gave a charming smile. “So?”

“I’ll take it,” Sophie reached into her coin pouch and produced the right amount of ducats. She walked happily with her purchase, tucking it away in her side pouch before the realization struck her that she could’ve probably bartered for a better deal. She didn’t have time to focus on that though as WIlly and AJ came barreling forward towards the older pirate. The pair looked like they could burst with excitement.

“We found a perfect gift for Omar!” Willy exclaimed, his hands shooting up in the air.

“Not so loud,” AJ scolded with a small frown. “What if he heard you?” Willy covered his mouth, muffling the sorry he said before he continued in a whisper. “We found a booth that sells cooking stuff.” Sophie’s eyes widened and a soft smile appeared on her lips. “Say no more. Lead the way.” With that confirmation, the two guided their friend towards the booth.

---

“Having trouble finding a gift?” Marlon asked, his question pulling Aasim away from his thoughts.

“Yes, I want it to be perfect for Ruby.”

“Makes sense,” Louis poked his head forward. “It's gonna be tough finding stuff for Clem and AJ.”

Aasim nodded and continued his search. The three stopped here and there, looking at different trinkets and colorful baubles but nothing seemed to satisfy the level of quality which Aasim desired for his gift to his wife.

“Well, have you spotted anything for Sophie, Marlon?” Louis smiled over at his best friend who shook his head.

“Nope, I’m not really sure what I would get,” His hand wandered over and started to play with his small braided ponytail. “She’d want something simple but I also want it to be nice, so she thinks it's special and not some throwaway gift,” Marlon’s eyes focused on the ground when he felt a soft jab to his side.

“Aww come on, Marlon. No need to get down about it. Any gift you give Sophie will be great.” Louis’ kind words brightened his best friend’s spirit. The blond pirate was about to respond when Aasim let out a small gasp. His brown eyes were completely captured by a tiny stall that held only a few spare trinkets here and there. Silently the pirate moved forward and stared deeply at something on the table.

“What's gotcha so starstruck, Aasim?” Louis wandered over and snuck a glance at the item in question. There on the table was a small brooch. It was a delicate item. The light silver swirled around in a circle, small white gemstones appearing here and there on the silver line. Every so often dark blue gemstones appeared in the shape of leaves.

Marlon let out a whistle, clearly impressed. “You’ve got quite the eye for gifts, Aasim.”

Aasim didn't seem to register his friend’s voice as he held up the brooch. The sunlight caught the blue gems and made them sparkle in the light.

“I see you’ve got quite the eye.” The seller gave a warm smile. “That there is one of my finest pieces in all the years I’ve been selling at this marketplace.”

“It’s beautiful,” Aasim whispered in response, his breath caught in his throat. “It will contrast beautifully with Ruby’s fiery hair. I must have it. Name your price and I’ll pay it.”

Those words made the saleswoman’s smile grow. Even though Aasim had said he’d pay any price though he still haggled to get a good deal on the brooch. After a heated ten minutes of bartering he strolled away, gently tucking away his gift that he had gotten for two thirds its original price.

“Okay, one present down. One, two…” Louis counted on his fingers. “A whole lot more to get. So, Marlon let’s find those perfect gifts too.” “Yeah!” Marlon high fived Louis and the two walked with determination as Aasim walked behind, too caught up in the excitement of the gift exchange and Ruby’s reaction to care about anything else.

After around ten minutes of searching Marlon suddenly stopped in his tracks and made a beeline to a booth that held different articles of clothing.

“Oh, getting Sophie some fancy new clothes?” Louis wiggled his eyebrows playfully before Aasim nudged his side.

“”What?” Marlon glanced back at his friends. “I’m gonna get her this,” He held up a dark blue bandana. Aasim and Louis looked unimpressed by their friend’s choice.

“That’s it?” Aasim crossed his arms. “I thought you’d pick a nice dress or something.”

“But Sophie would use this more often. Besides I think it would really bring out her eyes.” A small blush covered the blond pirate’s face. “I’m gonna go for it.” Marlon tossed over the coins and smiled down at his purchase. Knowing Sophie, she’d love this gift and instantly wrap the bandana over her head. That mental image made the smile on his face grow.

“Okay,” Louis shrugged but gave a supportive smile. “I’m sure she’ll love it.”

Marlon beamed at his friend’s approval. “Thanks, Lou! Now just gotta grab some snacks for Rosie as thanks for guarding the ship.” Marlon led the way, Louis and Aasim strolling behind as the dreadlocked pirate continued his search for his gifts.

----

Clementine looked around with a small frown. There were too many good options here. She could name five different trinkets that Louis would like, a new set of boots that would look great on him, a hat that he would easily wear all the time but none felt like the gift. The pirate grumbled and kicked aside a pebble as she moved towards the fountain. Omar and Ruby soon joined her and the group sat in silence before the cook spoke up.

“Can’t find a good gift for Louis?”

“I’ve found plenty of ‘good’ gifts but I want to give him something special,” Clementine let her face fall into her hands.

“Awww, sug,” Ruby wrapped Clementine up in a side hug. “I’m sure you’ll find the perfect gift in no time!” Clementine smiled brightly at her friend's kind words when the sounds of a new song started nearby. A flute played a delicate tune before the hurdy gurdy joined in. It sounds like the start of a beautiful, thoughtful dance when out of nowhere the sound of an accordion broke through the air. Clementine lifted up her head, quirking an eyebrow at the odd musical choice when she saw that no one in the group near where the townsfolk that were dancing was playing anything like that instrument.

Her golden brown eyes searched until they landed on a man who was by a stand filled to the brim and then some with different musical instruments. In his hands was a concertina made with light brown wood that glistened in the sunlight. The man’s fingers danced on the small metal buttons on the side, causing a lively, joyful tone to pour out of the musical instrument. A small smile instantly appeared on Clementine’s lips as her ears perked up at the music. It reminded her of Louis. That was it. Clementine jumped up from her spot and strode over to the man who stopped his playing when she drew near.

“Hello, there. Care for an instrument?” He asked, beginning another tune on the concertina.

“Yes, I’m wondering how much that one costs?” Clementine pointed towards the concertina, causing the seller to stop his playing.

“The price is right over there,” He nodded over to a small display sign that made the pirate’s heart drop. That was more than all the money she was carrying. The man placed down the instrument and leaned against the stand. “I could knock off a few ducats for you.”

“A few won’t help,” Clementine mumbled and gave a deep sigh. She had found the perfect gift for Louis. She could just picture the smile on his face as he played happy tunes all along the deck of Ol’ Kickass but it seemed like reality wouldn’t make that picture true.

“ I can help,” AJ’s voice appeared beside Clementine, making her nearly jump on the spot.

“AJ, you nearly scared me half to death. Whatcha doing here, kiddo? I thought you were with Sophie and Willy.”

“I was,” AJ began to fidget with his fingers. “We found the perfect gift for Omar,” he whispered as he did a little happy dance. He pointed over excitedly at Willy and Sophie who were carrying a small cauldron along with a few pieces of parchment that stuck out of it.

“I’m sure he’ll love it,” Clementine smiled at AJ whose smile grew at the approval. “Anyway, you were saying you could help? Sorry, goofball, but I think a few ducats won’t do it.”

“I have more than a few,” AJ grunted and lifted up a medium coinpuch and plopped it on the stall counter. A loud clank appeared from the bag as coins shifted from inside. Clementine and the seller stared in disbelief at the bag of ducats.

“AJ,” Clementine looked over. “How do you have this many coins?”

“I’ve been saving up for a long time. Plus I got a ton from that last quest I went on with Marlon, Violet and Mitch. The one with the weird monkeys!”

Clementine blinked at AJ for a few seconds, clearly still processing the large amount of ducats in front of her. “Are you sure it’s okay to use some of the coins? It’s your money.”

AJ nodded and put his hands on his hips. “Yep, it's for Louis and I wanna help make sure he gets good gifts. It’ll show him he’s a good captain and besides, he loves music.”

Clementine chuckled. “He really does. Alright, we’ll say it's from both of us then.” Clementine turned back to the salesman and began the heated process of slicing down the absurd price. It was a long and dull process but eventually Clementine had gotten the gift.

AJ stared in awe for a minute before his eyes grew large. “Oh! I should go back with my buddies. I don’t wanna break the rules.” AJ gave Clementine a quick hug then scampered off over to where Sophie and Willy were busy feasting on some meat skewers. As soon as they caught sight of the youngest Ericson pirate they turned to get some more food for him. Clementine’s nose crinkled from joy at the sight then moved back to the water fountain where Omar and Ruby were still sitting, talking passionately about the joys of cooking and medicine.

-----

Louis was on the right track, he knew it. He had spotted the perfect stall to find something for AJ. The pirate captain pushed back his coat and placed his hands on his hips while he stared intently at the weapons before him. It was about time that AJ got a weapon he could call his own and not have to keep crafting those makeshift shivs that broke after a few uses. Louis’ eyes darted around left and right before he began to look for the right fit of weaponry for AJ. He paused to survey the marketplace; he didn’t want that little man anywhere nearby so he wouldn’t spoil his gift.

After a minute of searching it looked like the littlest of the crew was nowhere to be seen. That was until Louis spotted him doing his signature dance in the square. AJ slid backwards to the sound of the energetic music, his feet moving this way and that as his eyes were closed. AJ always got so caught up in the music no matter what type it was. Beside him was Sophie who was doing a jig with Willy who for some reason had what looked like a cooking pot of some sort on the top of his head. The redhead laughed as Willy kicked his legs and danced around her before dragging in AJ who giggled as the pair began to have a dance off with Sophie. Louis smiled at the sight. It was nice to see them all smiling like this. Moments like this were what made Louis realize how lucky he was to have been able to find the crew that he did. All these years and he still felt as happy as the day he left his home on the stolen merchant ship with Marlon and the street rats. No, he felt tens if not hundreds of times happier. Now he truly had a family and had even met the woman he loved and a kid he felt a close parental bond for.

“Louis, are you going to get anything?” Aasim’s voice drew Louis out of his thoughts.

“Hmm, yeah. Just gotta find the best weapon for AJ.”

“I’ll help you look,” Marlon offered with a smile, his hand resting on Louis’ shoulder. Louis returned the smile then continued to look. There was quite the array of weapons, small, large, swords, axes, a stray gun or two, but none seemed like the right fit for AJ. The three men continued to search the booth, the seller beginning to get a bit antsy when none of them seemed to be buying anything. After nearly fifteen minutes of searching, Louis’ eyes landed on a sheathed dagger. The sheath had a simple yet dynamic design. The deep brown wood complemented the swirling, effortless detailing. Without thinking the pirate captain picked up the blade and unsheathed it. His eyes danced with interest when he saw the handle carved with a design that added to the badassery of the blade. He lifted his finger to check the sharpness when the seller spoke up.

“If I may, good sir,” He extended his hand and Louis returned the blade. The man gave a short nod then turned to a small display of wood. With a quick flick of his wrist, he cut the display piece clean in two.

“Holy shit,” Marlon stared in disbelief. Aasim placed a hand on his chin and studied the blade.

“It would be a useful gift against the sea creatures and like we face on the open waves.”

Louis thought about it carefully. It was a dangerous weapon but considering that their lives were far from peaceful it felt like a practical and thoughtful gift to give to AJ. “I’ll take it,” Louis passed over the ducats, not even bothering to haggle.

“Thank you, kind sir,” the seller placed away the blade in its sheath then handed it over to Louis. The Ericson captain strolled away with his two friends, humming happily in his success in finding AJ’s gift. He wondered if everyone else was having luck with shopping.

-----

“It’s no fucking use,” Mitch groaned and let his head fall as he walked through the marketplace. “I can’t find anything for Willy.” He was wrapped up in his own thoughts when he felt a gentle squeeze on his hand. Looking over, he saw an optimistic smile on his wife’s face.

“Don't worry, Mitch,” Brody intertwined their fingers “We’ll have luck soon. I know it.” “Must be nice having confidence like that,” Violet’s voice appeared beside the auburn-haired pirate. Brody turned to see Violet walking hand in hand with Prisha. “I’m sure whatever I get for Prisha will be ass.”

“I highly doubt that,” Prisha leaned forward and placed a delicate kiss on her wife’s cheek, making the blonde’s face grow deep red. Mitch gave a snort which made his childhood friend send a glare over his way.

“Have something to say, Mitch?” Prisha raised an eyebrow at her friend.

“Violet has always been this way about gifts, thinking they’re shit but they’re not. Besides Sophie, I’d say Violet was always the one of the streets rats to find some good shit for gifts.”

Violet’s eyes grew large in shock for a split second at her friend’s compliment before softening and looking away. “I don’t know about that.”

The four walked in silence for a minute. All of them looked around at the multiple different stalls with sellers calling out in hopes to intrigue them to take a look at their wares. A light chuckle from Brody drew everyone’s attention when she pointed over at the town square. There in the center were most of their crewmates dancing merrily in a jig. Marlon and Sophie were in the middle grasping hands, going around in a circle and dancing before they patted their knees and spun around each other once more. The couple then grabbed more of their friends and continued to do the same dance with different members. Willy had a pot on his head and was chuckling as he linked arms with Clementine who was trying to get to the center where Louis was kicking his feet and bursting with laughter with Omar who had the biggest smile on his face they’d seen in a while. Ruby and Aasim were dancing around in the outer circle of it all, their faces both bright red from dancing and from each other.

“Gosh, I wish I could join them,” Brody smiled wistfully.

“You can if you wanna. It’s not like we’re having-” Mitch paused in his words of encouragement when he spotted out of the corner of his eye a small wooden toy pirate paddle boat that he knew in a split second Willy would adore. For some reason he got this eerie feeling and glanced over to see that Prisha had spotted the same item. The two locked eyes for a moment then let go of their wives’ hands and began sprinting to reach it first. Violet and Brody watched in disbelief and amusement as both of them tried to outrun and outsmart the other.

Violet gave a sigh. “You can still go dance if you want.”

“Nah, I think I’ll wait for a few minutes, see if I spot the… right… Holy shit!” Brody exclaimed and moved over to the booth a few feet ahead of them. Violet looked confused but followed her friend who had stopped at what looked to be a weapons booth that held some rather unique weapons. Spiked boarding axes, a hook hand, a blowdart, but none of those had grasped the auburn’s attention. Instead her eyes were completely focused on what looked to be a small harpoon attached to a rope and a leather strap.

“I see you know a good weapon, lass.” The woman leaned forward and smiled, revealing a single gold tooth, her arms covered with different tattoos. “That there is a hand harpoon used to draw your enemy closer to you and close the gap between ye in an instant. Or you can use it to grab something from afar.” The woman explained.

Brody nodded along, studying the craftsmanship. “Do you mind if I test it out?”

“Not at all, I’ll set up a target,” The woman disappeared for a moment then returned with a stand, a bright red apple standing on top of it. Brody worked to adjust the weapon on her wrist with help from Violet and with a deep breath she shot out her hand releasing the harpoon and stabbing the apple straight through. With a harsh yank Brody pulled back the apple and gave it over to Violet who took a bite from it right away.

“Mitch’ll love this. I’ll take it.” Brody looked at the price, a confident smirk appearing on her lips. She could knock that down more than a few ducats, easy. After a few minutes Brody had safely procured the item and was walking with an air of pride at her bartering skill.

Violet looked over at her friend, a gentle smile pulling at the corner of her lips at Brody’s happiness. Now all she needed to do was find a gift for Prisha. The blonde pirate could feel her anger growing as she looked in booth after booth and found nothing. That was until she spotted a silver bracelet with delicate lines that led to the center of it that held a gorgeous teal stone. She knew in that moment that it was the perfect gift for Prisha. Violet strode forward and picked up the jewelry, studying it carefully. It was made from some sort of silver so it shouldn’t tarnish easily which was good considering their lives on the sea.

“Find something, Vi?” Brody’s gentle voice appeared beside Violet who glanced up at her crewmate before looking down at the bracelet.

“Yeah, I think Prisha would like this,” Violet held up the bracelet and Brody let out a small gasp.

“It's gorgeous. Prish will love it,” Brody’s words of encouragement help cement in Violet’s mind that she had found the perfect gift for her wife.

“Hey! I want this!” Violet called out to the seller who woke up from their nap. They gave a sharp yawn.

“Sure, for the right price,” He had a sly smile on his face that made Violet’s face curl into a frown. This guy was gonna try to squeeze all the coins he could out of her. Too bad for him that Violet was stubborn as hell especially when it came to stuff involving Prisha’s happiness. After a heated conversation and some light threats, some of which Brody had to step in the way to laugh off and say Violet was joking, the blonde pirate got the bracelet. She had a serene, excited smile on her face when she looked at the bracelet for Prisha. After a moment Violet felt Brody’s eyes on her and looked over at her friend. “What?”

“Nothing. Let’s go join the other in the square,” Brody grabbed Violet’s hand and ran forward.

Violet haphazardly placed the bracelet in her pouch. “Brody, slow the fuck down. I don’t wanna break my gift to Prisha.”

The two joined the others and noticed that their spouses were still nowhere to be found. They must still be in a heated competition for that gift.

----

Prisha and Mitch reached the booth at the same time, both out of breath as they glared at each other.

“I saw it first,” Prisha hissed at her friend.

“Bullshit,” Mitch huffed. “Get your own gift.”

Prisha was about to make a snarky comment back when the seller ambled forward.

“Well, hey there. Anything caught your fancy?”

“Yes, I want that toy boat!” Mitch and Prisha exclaimed at the same time, pointing at the toy on display.  The two glared back at each other and began to argue again.

“Back off, Prisha!” Mitch grumbled. “If anyone is getting this kickass boat for Willy, it’s me.”

“Ha! Not if I put the ducats down first,” Prisha replied smugly then looked over to the seller. “How much for the toy boat?”

All color left Prisha and Mitch’s faces when they heard the price for the toy.

“That’s outrageous,” Prisha huffed angrily and placed a hand on her hip.

“Yeah, it's made of wood and shit. Can’t you lower the price?”

“Can you lower your tone?” The seller tutted. “All my designs are handmade and crafted with the finest wood and materials in all the seven seas. So pay the price or leave.”

That statement angered both pirates who turned away to discuss the situation.

“I’m getting that stupid fucking boat. Even if I have to use persuasion,” Mitch reached down for his dagger.

“Don’t be stupid. Let us just split the cost of it with all our ducats. We should be able to reach that lofty price.” Prisha stated in a matter of fact tone. Mitch thought about it for a second then nodded. Inhaling deeply, he spat out a huge wad of saliva on his hand and held it out.

“Street rat oath. Most serious oath of all.” Mitch frowned when he saw Prisha hesitate for a split second but soon she had spit on her hand and shook his. With the oath sworn, the pair returned and purchased the tiny pirate toy boat.

“Ha! I can’t wait to see Willy’s expression when we introduce him to Lil’ Kickass.”

“Yes, I’m excited as well,” Prisha glanced over and saw that everyone was still dancing in the square including her wife. “Shall we join the others for a dance?”

Sure, just gotta tuck this away,” Mitch stuffed away the gift and the duo joined the others as a new lively, cheery song began to play. The Ericson Pirates all laughed as they danced around each other, slapping their knees and spinning each other around until Louis paused mid dance step, whacking Marlon in the snoot.

“Ow, Lou, what was that for?” The blond brushed his sore nose.

Louis pointed over to the marketplace where a group of pirates were striding forward, each one decked out in the finest threads and garments a swashbuckler could hope to afford. It was the Dandiville Pirates.

“Damn it,” Clementine groaned. The last thing their crew needed was enemies to appear.

“So many Aasims,” Louis teased as he looked at his friend in his fancy pirate outfit.

“Take that back,” Aasim shook his head. “I have class. They on the other hand-”

“Fuck, they saw us,” Violet’s statement made all of them freeze. Slowly they all looked over where the Dandiville Pirates stood in shock.

“Ericson Pirates!” The captain spoke, the scar he had received from the Ericson crew still evident on his face. “Get ‘em, lads! Bring them in for the bounty and revenge!”

“Shitsticks,” Violet instantly grabbed Prisha’s hand. Mitch ran forward and unclipped two smoke bombs from his belt.

“Eat shit!” he laughed wildly as he covered the marketplace in smoke. That was the chance they needed - the crew dashed madly through the smoke, dodging swipes and returning kicks as they scampered off to their ship. Louis was first on and helped up the younger members.

“We gotta haul ass!” he yelled as his crew worked to set sail.

“I’ll hold them off!” Willy cried as he loaded his slingshot and sent a flurry of pebbles and other missiles at the Dandiville Pirates. As Ol’ Kickass began to float away, the Ericson Pirates taunted their enemies before letting out wild cheers as they set sail towards their next destination. The evening of gift giving was upon them and all were excited to share what they had found.

[mahou-queen]

♡52 Weeks of Lolita Questionnaire♡

In a recent Lovely Lor video, Lor answered questions from Loliprompts’ questionnaire “52 weeks of lolita”. It seems like a fun list of questions and I thought I would answer them too~ ♡

1. What is your favorite brand, and why? What’s its history? ♡  I guess my favorite brand would have to be Angelic Pretty. I love a lot of other brands, but the majority of dresses in my wish list right now are Angelic Pretty. As for their history? I don’t really know haha, I guess I should research that a bit.

2. How would you describe lolita fashion to a curious person you met in passing? ♡ I always just say I am apart of a fashion club? People don’t generally require more than that but if they did I would probably tell them that it’s an alternative fashion based on Victorian fashion and we have a fashion club and we get dressed up and meet for tea and stuff.

3. What style do you think is the most underrated, and why? ♡ qi and wa lolita. I almost never see them, or see interest in them which is a shame because there are some really beautiful dresses out there that are suited for these styles.

4. What does the phrase “lolita lifestyle” mean to you, and do you, or would you like to, adhere to it? ♡ lolita lifestyle is when you try to bring lolita or lolita-esque aesthetics into every aspect of your life. Maybe wearing lolita every or most days, and having a very “loliable” home/room. I could never be a lifestyler because I have other fashion interests. Also lolita is not appropriate at my workplace.

5. What do you think constitutes lolita etiquette or good manners? ♡ I don’t believe there is any “lolita etiquette” I think you should just be yourself. Good manner are good manners, don’t be rude to your comm members, don’t dance on the tables at a tea party. But that’s just commonsense I don’t think there is a way to behave that is lolita.

6. Does your style change with the seasons, or do you dress the same and try to bear the cold/heat? ♡ I try, but admittedly I am awful at it. I try to keep berets in the cooler months, as well as long sleeves. BUT I’m a sucker for ankle socks and I wear them all year despite the cold and I do freeze my legs off at winter meets. 

7. Do you have a fashion role-model? What do you admire most about them? ♡ I actually have several! I will list them and their instagrams here: sleepyriri  - Her coords are so dreamy looking, very light floaty aesthetic which I love. She also has her own lolita brand! Le_verger_sucre - Her coords are so pink and princess-y. I find myself sharing her photos a lot. Fannyrosie - the classic lolita queen. Need I say more? Tokimeki.bunny - I love the cuteness of her coords. They always have a lot of extra elements and are so well balanced. She’s also really good at coordinating printed tights which I am awful at. Tsumikko - Lavender QUEEN! I love her use of aprons, layering, and color balancing. Very light, floaty vibes.  Milkcircus - Print QUEEN. Her use of prints and patterns absolutely inspires me. Coords are always very multi-dimensional  Cursed.Kaiser - They’re coords are honestly so cool, there’s a kind of drama in them that I really like. Darkxdelirium - She almost made me want honey cake with her impeccable coording skills. 

8. What are the top 10 things you love most about lolita? Can you also compile a list of things you hate? ♡ I don’t think I can come up with 10 but I’ll do my best. ♡ Loves: The community aspect, the ability to reclaim my femininity through lolita, the creativity that goes into building coords, crafting to make one of a kind pieces, being able to feel beautiful without being “sexy”, having a hobby to focus on when I need something to escape to.

♡ Hates: Second-hand market price fluctuation, brands still releasing dresses with a max 96cm bust, buying petticoats, storing my stuff (especially purses), brands who charge astronomical prices for low quality materials (AP purses, Q-pot jewelry, etc).

9. How strict are you in applying the rules to yourself? To others? ♡  I am pretty strict on myself. For a long time I was terrified to be seen as ita. I was even afraid to wear bodyline for fear of being ”ita” even though my coord was good. These days I am less strict on myself and worry much less about these things, but I still struggle to get out of the strict mindset from time to time. others? I love experimentation even if I am afraid to do so so I am really not too strict on others, if it works, it works, and I am not going to criticize anyone. 

10. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever incorporated into a coord, or the weirdest material you’ve ever worn? ♡ The weirdest thing I think I have ever worn in a coord were a pair of korilakkuma bell earrings. As you can imagine, bells on your ears? not great.

11. What’s the story behind your discovery of lolita fashion? ♡ When I was a senior in high school, a new girl started attending my school. She wore fairy kei and sweet lolita to school. We became friends through art class and eventually she ended up teaching me about the fashion. She sold me my first dress, and later my first brand piece. I am really glad to have met her and to have been exposed to lolita. You can follow her on instagram here

12. What is the one item that you’ve owned the longest? ♡ I still own my very first dress I got in 2012. Bodyline Squirrel Party. However, I am planning to sell it since I’ve worn it in everyway I can think of.

13. Do you think lolita is only about clothes, or does it also encompass a certain attitude or mindset? ♡ Lolita is about the fashion. All kinds of people are lolitas and they like it or wear it for different reasons. 

14. Have you ever decorated a room or other space (car?) with lolita aesthetics in mind? ♡ My old bedroom used to be very “kawaii”. I love pink so my car stuff, my desk, as much as I can get away with, is pink. 

15. Is it possible to be too obsessed with lolita? ♡ If lolita is interfering with your ability to pay your bills, or to be happy, or to focus on school or work or family then you should probably pull back. Some people do get very absorbed by things and in those cases it can become too much.

16. What are you favorite and least favorite trends? Do you think it’s important to follow them, or to do as you like regardless of them? ♡ My favorite trend ever is the chiffon half blouse. So comfortable, affordable, light, cute, and much more size inclusive. Least favorite trend? mis-matched shoes from the 2010 era. I like my shoes to get equal wear. I think these days more than ever, you can really just do whatever you want. Wear the fashion is right now is like anything goes which I think is great,

17. How do you define “lolita cosplay” and how do you feel about it? ♡ Lolita cosplay is stupid. sorry

18. Are there other fashions that you wear regularly, or are you an everyday lolita? ♡ I don't wear other street fashions anymore. I used to wear fairy kei and himekaji but these days I just dress regular outside of lolita.

19. Do you look for bargains to save as much money as possible, or are you willing to make sacrifices for high-quality products? ♡ I try to find the best prices when applicable but if I am in love with something I’ll do what I have to do.

20. When was the last time you wore lolita, and what did you do that day? If you wear it daily, when was the last time you went OTT or extra-fancy? ♡ The last time I wore lolita was in April lmao. For a virtual meet-up with my comm.

21. If you were to combine lolita fashion with an unrelated style or theme, what would your new creation be? ♡uhhhh I honestly have no idea at all. 

22. What is your favorite accessory, and why is it your favorite? ♡ I have 2, 2-way bow clips from back when bodyline had a massive “sundries” section. They're no longer available and haven't been for a long time. I am really glad I got them, I wish I had bought more sundries when that section was still there.

23. What’s your favorite online lolita community or forum? Are there any that you avoid?  ♡ I don’t have a favorite tbh. I have never been on 4chan and I never will be.

24. What is your favorite theme (e.g. school loli, pirate loli, nurse loli) or motif (e.g. deer, music notes, stars/constellations)? ♡ black and gold stars! Valentines day! fruits! gingham!

25. Is there any music that you associate with lolita? ♡ orange caramel lol

26. Will you ever be too old for lolita? ♡  never

27. Do you enjoy sewing? Why or why not? ♡ I don’t know how to sew :(

28. How does your location affect your involvement in the local lolita community? Would you like to move elsewhere to be closer, or perhaps farther away? ♡ I drive about 1.5 hours for meetups because that’s the closest active comm. I do not mind so much. I’d like to maybe be closer.

29. Does your sleepwear resemble lolita at all? ♡  not at all. I sleep in oversized t-shirts

30. Can you admit to any unpopular opinions regarding lolita? ♡ I hate peeking bloomers. I’m sorry :(

31. How do you feel about Visual kei or Jrock, and do you feel it’s related to lolita, or not? ♡ Love it, and absolutely. Visual Kei is like lolitas relative. 

32. Whether or not you wear them (looking at you, Ouji), do you prefer the look of skirts, JSKs, and OPs with or without prints? ♡ I like both, but these days I am appreciating non-printed items more.

33. How has your style evolved over time? ♡ It hasn't really, just gotten more refined. 

34. If applicable, what other communities do you belong to? What other identities do you adopt? ♡ I’m queer, so the LGBTQ community is important to me.

35. What are your favorite shoes to wear with your style, or what’s your dream pair? ♡ I love heels. I do not like flat shoes because I like to elongate my legs. I don’t have a dream pair.

36. Would you, or have you ever, dressed your pets in lolita? ♡ lol I’d try but I don't think it would work.

37. How do you feel about people who wear lolita for Halloween? Does it depend on whether that person is already a lolita? ♡ Wearing lolita for Halloween as a lolita is fine, but wearing it as a costume is kind of meh.

38. Excluding fashion shows, what’s the most amount of outfits you’ve ever worn in a day? ♡ just 1 haha

39. What’s your worst lolita horror story? ♡  I don’t really have any. I one time went with some of my college friends to a con and I left my dorm building in full sweet early in the morning. I was afraid my dormmates would see me cause I did not want to explain but luckily no one was awake and I made it to the van unscathed. 

40. Do you like sweets? If so, what’s your favorite dessert? ♡ I love angel food cake 

41. Do you have any beauty products, health routines, or special diet to keep you at your best? ♡ I take co-q-10 for my eczema, I like laneige lip sleeping mask, especially in the winter.

42. What were the best and worst meetups you’ve hosted? If you haven’t hosted, would you like to someday? ♡ I wanted to host a garden meet this summer but covid ruined that. Maybe next year.

43. Who is your favorite artist? If not famous for lolita art, do you think they have lolita appeal? ♡ I love a lot of artists, some of them I think are lolita-adjacent because their style is kawaii. I’ll list some here: jisaaaa!  ubokhee MISOART_ meowwniz gojio_ hanavbara Fancy Surprise Arcade Healer Yurie Sekiya and many many more. Go stalk my following on instagram for lots of kawaii artists.

44. How do you feel about wigs? Do you wear any, or style your natural hair? ♡ I used to wear wigs, but my hair is too long now so I use my natural hair with fake bangs.

45. What’s your favorite animal motif? ♡ bears?

46. Have you ever visited a brand’s shop/boutique? If so, what was your reaction? If not, what shop would you most like to visit? ♡ I want to visit AP San Francisco 

47. Do you think posting photos of your coord online is a crucial part of belonging to the community? ♡ YES, it’s how we all stay connected and inspired 

48. How has the lolita community changed since you became a part of it? Where do you see lolita heading in the future in terms of community and networking? ♡ I think it’s become way more accepting and accessible. When I got into lolita there were virtually no legit resellers, the community was entirely on livejournal, buying second hand was a nightmare. Buying anything! was a nightmare. There was so much stress around looking “ita”, and the superiority of brand. These days its just not like that. So much amazing taobao brands have really helped even the field for lolita. We have so much more access to the clothes, the community, everything. It’s great. I only see it getting better as years go on.

49. What advice would you give someone who is nervous about starting lolita? Or do you think they should learn their own lessons? ♡ I think too many lolitas today rely on seasoned lolitas to tell them everything. I would say, go watch lovely lor, read @lolita-tips and look at other peoples coordinates. Lolita Tips tumblr taught me basically everything I know back in the day and it a wealth of info and concrit. Part of what makes the lolita journey so great is the research, the learning, the mistakes. You don’t wanna be like someone else, you wanna be you. So you really need to do the work yourself so you can put your personal flair into the fashion. That’s when it’s at its best. 

50. What’s your dream dress/garment? Is it a faraway goal or have you obtained it? ♡ My dream dress was AP sweetie violet jsk in lavender. Which I got in 2019. My new dream dress is AP rose tea garden jsk in navy. It’ll probably be a while before I can afford to buy one.

51. How do you feel about the stereotype that lolitas are full of drama? What’s the worst drama you’ve ever witnessed or been involved in? ♡ I think any and all groups of people are bound to have drama. I don’t believe that’s specific to lolita at all. I personally have not been involved in any lolita drama.

52. Are you loyal to any particular makeup brands? ♡ I am very particular about my makeup because I do not like to use certain ingredients. I really like Pacifica. But I also like some Korean brands like The Saem, MISSHA, and TonyMoly.

This was super long but I had fun answering all the questions. Have you done this questionnaire? I’d love to see your answers~