#also sorry for deleting a lot of my things i wasnt doing ok

[finn-thefish]

very bad slurpee doodle cuz im tryna get back into digital art

[aspd-culture]

hey, so i recently did some research and took the mmpi and a few other tests that i knew were well regarded as diagnostic tools by professionals, as well as self reflection and matching myself with criteria. (all tests found free probably illegally online via links on reddit cause i dont got that kind of money) and it appears that i have aspd.

I consider myself a good person, i try to always be good to everyone which is a lot of effort because it’s something i dont do naturally, and imo that makes me better than a “normal person” but i digress

finding this out, while relieving in the way that it explained a lot of stuff, has also made me feel more alienated. i cant tell anyone im close to because theyll just hear “sociopath” and think i dont care about them or ive been manipulating them this whole and leave, and i wont be able to find new people because im bad at connecting with others so ill be alone. and no one online with aspd seems to have my experiences (also a lot of the online spaces are filled with pwBPD and pwNPD using our tag lmao and i dont relate to them either obviously) so i feel alien here too.

I dunno, finding this out was helpful in some ways but in others i just feel worse.

I guess it’s a net good now that i know that my way of thinking and going through life doesnt make me a bad or manipulative person its just how i naturally think bc of my disorder, and as long as im choosing to be good to people it shouldn’t matter. i just wish it wasnt so stigmatized to have, and i wish people would realize that i am capable of being a good person just as much as they are, i just have my own way of doing it.

I actually dont get why having it Come Naturally is such a good thing anyway, isnt it more meaningful if someone isnt “good by nature” but actively chooses to be anyway? I think it means less and is less reliable if someone is good by nature because then it means that they don’t actually know how or why theyre doing it, and if they have a moment of fluctuations in their empathy then they could be worse than any of us disordered folk who had to learn they why and how of this stuff.

lmfao ok uh sorry for having a character arc in your ask box you can delete if you want idc

No, no worries! I'm sorry it took me this long to get to honestly because yeah I agree with this - it is in my opinion objectively better to do good things by choice, even when it's hard for us. And, in fact, the NTs feel that way too but they don't like that it applies to us.

It's a whole cliche people like to throw around, that it isn't easy to be a good person and that the only truly good people are the ones that doing it when it's hard too - that the easiest thing isn't always the right thing, all of that. They just don't like that those things apply to us too and therefore we are very much their definition of good people.

The world has so much stigma against us, and I'm sorry you're struggling with it, that any and all of you are. We shouldn't be treated this way as a result of us being mistreated as kids. It's not our fault, but we're labeled and demonized anyway. And it sucks, and even though it says everything about them and nothing about us, people believe them bc they're so used to thinking we're the scary ones so we must be wrong.

That seems to be slowly changing, and I hope I (and you) are around to see when it does.

Plain text below the cut:

No, no worries! I'm sorry it took me this long to get to honestly because yeah I agree with this - it is in my opinion objectively better to do good things by choice, even when it's hard for us. And, in fact, the NTs feel that way too but they don't like that it applies to us.

It's a whole cliche people like to throw around, that it isn't easy to be a good person and that the only truly good people are the ones that doing it when it's hard too - that the easiest thing isn't always the right thing, all of that. They just don't like that those things apply to us too and therefore we are very much their definition of good people.

The world has so much stigma against us, and I'm sorry you're struggling with it, that any and all of you are. We shouldn't be treated this way as a result of us being mistreated as kids. It's not our fault, but we're labeled and demonized anyway. And it sucks, and even though it says everything about them and nothing about us, people believe them bc they're so used to thinking we're the scary ones so we must be wrong.

That seems to be slowly changing, and I hope I (and you) are around to see when it does.

[shoezuki]

Hiii hi could u explain in Words why pdp is bad please?? I know hes bad but my friend watches him (he doesnt have any socials or rlly look at news so he doesnt get at of the stuff) and I dont know how to explain to him that pdp is a whole dick agh

OK sorry i dont have much like. Energy to dig myself atm BUT. i have looked thru for articles n other such things detailing pdp's history with antisemitism, racism, nazi symbols and imagery, alt-right rhetoric, etc.

AND heres a tumblr post saying such things w more links on it as well

I had my Own words on it but tumblr deleted like half of it. But while i wait for my muffins to cool heres My Words too thats kinda a summary

TW for antisemitism, nazi imagery and rhetoric, racism, mass shootings, far-right dogwhistles and rhetoric, etc.

Pdp has Always been so ingrained w all this shit for as long as I can remember, especially antisemitism. His own videos have contained nazi jokes, hitler comparisons (i believr to himself at times), him performing nazi salutes. One of the most memorable instances imo is in i think 2017 or so, he paid two indian dudes on fiverr to dance around with a sign saying 'kill all jews', reacted to it and posted it in a video. The people's fiverr account got suspended i believe, and they said they didnt understand the meaning of the words as they didnt understand english well at the time.

As for far-right rhetoric and dogwhistles, hes kinda been 'accepted' by far-right communities, to the point the 'subscribe to pewdiepie' meme was almost like a dogwhistle. It was literally said by a man before he shot up two mosques. Although thats OTHER people, considering his use of nazi symbols n such. Its not without reason imo. Like he had a shirt with a swastika on it that he showed up to a filming event for i think that 'scare pewdiepie' thing years ago, altho he denied that but theres photos of him w friends wearing matching swastika shirts (havent been able to find them but i recall him saying it was a 'dark joke'). Within 2018 or 19 he reccomended a youtube channel to his fans saying he enjoyed the anime analysis video. But the account was literally interladden with right-wing dogwhistles, the concept of 'redpilling' the viewers. It took media like steven universe and inputted right wing ideology into it under the guise of 'analysis', used racist imagery such as editing black people into caricatures on thumbnails, and used homophobic slurs n slurs of all kinds really. After he reccomended the channel it got like 36k subs or more

Also was his instance of calling someone the n word in a video game. Also he compared the gorrilla harambe to the african american actress leslie jones, by i believe using her image in replacement of a gorillas.

Biggest aspect is like. His addresses of this n 'apologies' had been shit. It was always a lot of 'its absurdist humour'. The kind of says sorry once then goes on bout how media overinflated it, how it wasnt that serious, how sure he was Sorry or whatever about his jokes. At some point i think he spoke of the fiverr incident as him trying to 'show' how people will do absurd and ridiculous things and how 'funny' it was. But that falls entirely flat in my mind considering they didnt understand the words, how he edited and posted a video of himself paying for the words 'kill all jews'. Thats not 'wow look how people do ridiculous things!' Yknow?

So like. Theres all that. A lot of what i mention here is within all those links, plus more. Altho one thing i wanna say

I often feel like a hypocrite, because ofc i believe people can change, and past actions arent entirely indicative of people Now. But with pewdiepie n the things hes done, its so extreme, with so much piled together over time, to the original 'jokes' and his shit 'apologies', that i cant imagine hes changed much. And even if so, this shit is so intense and genuinely messed up that it will follow him everywhere, and i can never support someone like this. This is an exception, an example of 'it doesnt matter how long ago it was' becausr pdp didnt just tweet jokes that may have been read in poor tastes, or aged bad, or were deleted but dug up. These are so bad and genuinely disgusting in comparison

[northern-passage]

thank you for being a boundaries role model! you've inspired me to go "ok no nsfw asks now"... not that I ever got many but it felt Weird. and yeah the wildly off-base hypothetical scenario stuff is a whole thing (I'm always like ok you [anon] obviously have your AU idea that you're into, you should go and write it yourself!)

yeahh unfortunately people are already weird on anon and then you let them also be horny on anon and it gets very uncomfortable very fast lmfao.

i mean there are plenty of authors that do take nsfw asks w/o issue and people aren't always weird about it but again.. unfortunately... it's not always the case. i mean sometimes people are weird even off anon directly to your face and i can't tell which one is worse to be honest 😭

it's a big part of why i left a lot of IF discords because i was just always uncomfortable with the way people would sometimes talk about my work/characters, or even other games, too. and yeah exactly what you said like... people will send in an ask or scenario and it's very clear they're fishing for a specific answer despite it not aligning with the character at all.

but this is very sweet and yeah definitely know your limits and be firm with your boundaries. social media has really made people forget how to properly interact with content creators and just strangers in general online and people will act overly familiar and aggressive despite not knowing you at all.

and like i said with it stated on my askbox page i don't typically have any problems. when i do it's asks like that one where it was clearly copy and pasted without care and the generic "if it makes you uncomfortable don't answer!" it's like ok well maybe just don't send it lmao.... typically i just delete them but like i said i have a special burning hatred for that question specifically <3

other times i do get actually interesting questions that are only slightly nsfw like i answered one the other day about lea and it was an interesting question and it was different in that it obviously wasnt someone just asking for an explicit sexual scenario (which i personally am not comfortable with) but someone actually asking about the character themself, if that makes sense. and the "don't answer if you're uncomfortable" always feels more genuine when it's not copy pasted lmfao.

anyways sorry i'm kinda rambling here but yeah i always encourage other authors to be clear with their boundaries because otherwise this community will not even bother considering them before being out of pocket. there are a few authors i know that have ask guidelines and stuff like that which definitely help filter that out.

[tears-0f-the-lynx]

xX read me! Xx

yandere blog is @loversick

dont ask me if im ok + try to reassure me or the likes /nm i just wanna exist<3 ily all mwah /p

if you kno me from elsewhere, no you dont. pls dni !

first, if you ever want to vent to me, ask! i may not be able to help/give advice, but im more than happy to lend an ear!

xX tw's Xx

X guns (wow big surprise)

X drug abuse (i joke abt using drugs but do not!)

X self harm + suicide that good shit

X homelessness

X family issues

X csa + sa

X child neglect + abuse

X ed stuff

X ptsd

X dysphoria + dysmorphia

X dereality/liminal spaces

they are not regularly tagged

xX dni Xx

X your common sense stuff. dont be a bitch

X id prefer if you were over 18, but i really dont care atp

X anti-recovery/endorse or encourage mental illnesses and their symptoms

X ddlg/cgl + variants or endorse age play yall are fucking nasty.

X romanticize irl murderers or ykno

xX abt acct Xx

X obviously i let shit out here. i come here to be less upbeat; it gets tiring sometimes, so sorry if i sound rude. thats not what i intend

X i talk a lot about banana fish, but this is obviously not bfish blog. i use the series and particularly ash lynx to project my trauma. as if he wasnt traumatized enough

X honestly a good amount of posts are just things i dont want on main lol but its also kinda a diary so oops i overshare shrugging emoji

X check tags to see if something is ok to rb or not

X some nsfw things may come up, but not straight up porn

X recovery/positivity posts are rare, but we all need them :]

X my own nonsense is under #worthless cries

X i tend to go here if im regressed, so babytalk sometimes comes up. i like to delete it when im big again, though

xX what is tagged Xx

any blood/sensitive visuals will never be significantly graphic. will be updated as other things appear. this just a forewarning!

X blood (#tw blood)

X nsfw (#tw nsft + #tw nsfw)

X suicide visuals (#tw suicide visual)

X religion (#tw religion + #tw religious imagery)

[jennrypan]

Mkay. Im drinkin my drink drank. This will be LONG. Thoughts while i watch it

Off the bat-- people are just telling them how cute they are together and I love how they were just like ?? Cuz they aint even thank them they just said "Yall cute as fuck!"

All of Paris ships you guys apparently- theres no escape but how the hell did they get those pictures??

Do they take the pictures from the Ladyblog-

Also Andre shut yo ass up- if youre ice creams so good why are YOU single huh? Lets talk about that you fuck-

Also shes so damn mad lmao- and she yeet my son 😭 shes got great aim though i love it- annd Ladybug just doesnt lie Andre rn and i get that cuz hes deadass kind of annoying with his love ice cream shit-

But fr why IS she so damn mad like girl calm down- be more mad at the press for bein nosy and Andre for bein himself-

And I knoow people are gonna be salty towards Adrien in this..i feel it. But whatever. Anyways. What tf is ladybugs yoyo tying to to let her swing on the roofs--

DELETE ALL THE EVIDENCE OF YOUR LOVE--

Im giggling. Im sorry-- i love him sm. Sweet hopeless romantic-

And ALYA MY DAUGHTER HI <3

And this seems super dramatic- delete all the photos they have together cuz of one instance?- aight go off ig-

Oh are Kagami nd Adriens friendly again?? Im assuming yes?

ThAKSGES ADRIEN NO WHAT THEBFUCK DONT CRY 😭 WAIT . i wasnt ready- please someone hug him--

Also Gorilla doesnt even notice he sounds so sad, Gorilla im disappointed in you

Oh wooow. Gabriel didnt akumatize his son? Im shocked, you did the bare minimum buddy! Congrats!

Go fuck yourself.

Marinette..honey thatss...hm-- okay- hes sad and you immediately start day dreaming lmaoo. Get it together girl--

"MAY HAVE." MAY HAVE??? BITCH YOU HAVE BEEN DISTANT FUCK YOUUUUU.

Also ew stop trying give this bitch redeeming qualities, and uh..did Emilie not wear any other outfit?? Can we see photos of her looking like shes enjoying life or?-

Thats just weird maybe thats just mee-

Kagami-- "youre weak-- sensitive-" i like how she corrected herself- shes leearrning.

Also..did no one hear that giant billboard being destroyed??- no one at all?- o k

And awe- she psspsps'ed him basically-

Bruh hes so damn CONFUSED- she doesnt make sense to both Adrien and Chat- girl simplify yours words better-

HELP I LOVE THIS DYNAMIC. ITS THE BEST ONE OUT OF ALL OF THEM. PLEASE

Hes so damn goofy i love him-

Ok but Marinette..shorten the poem- or..love letter- no one will pay attention to that its GOTTA BE FROM THE HEART

This poem ..bores me- anyways-

MOVIE DATE MOVIE DATE.

Also awe they let him ride the bus for free

Andre MIND YO BUSINESS. DAMN all in their shit for-- get some friends istg

Usually..people dont talk this much during movies but that seems to just be Their thing--

Also he likes haaamsters and WHEEZE i would be that guy too cuz SHUT UP YOU IN LOVE FOOLS. R u d e

And ...UMBRELLA- i didnt know it could do that- could her yoyo do somethin like that??- i dunno..how that would work but imagine?

And Andre youre right they ARE made for each other..you should talk to Luka and Alya about that--

Where did..the akuma go for adrien or ..does it just purify itself when he powers down?

ANDRE YOU DICK LET THEM HAVE BE

And this is the second time her lucky charm almost squashed her- but this wouldve been a lot worse cus its a whole ass car.

A sexy car at that 👀 i aint know ladybug could create cars like that, i want it! Also..aint she like 15 where tf she learn how to drive what-

SHE CAN DO THAT!?!

Maybe i just forgot but what-

Ok where did HE learn to drive-

And i love them sm <3 but like .where does the fallout fall into this? I need more episodes-

And Andre was pretty easy to defeat prolly cuz they fought him literally a few hours ago.

I would love to see cookies based off all the ladybug charms

And like..he just walks away??- youre not gonna apologize for bein weird and buttin in on their lives?? No?- ok-

And BOI YOU KNOW YOU FELL IN LOOOVE YOU KNOW IT--

Kagami is so damn cute oh my god-- also. I just realized she had freckles?? I love them ;W;

Plagg is probably losing his damn mind rn-- they are so stressful.

Also i love that end card so much? Its gorgeous.

BASICALLY!!

This is my favorite episode out of all the episodes in season for next to Scarabellas and Alya outsmarting hawkmoth,

I just..love the marichat scenes so much, its beautiful--

I cant waait to hear their english voices oml

[word-addict-lisette]

Dear Lisette,

I am back in you inbox, yay! How was your day? How's life? How's school?

I am really mad because we had this piece of work and it was like "pen down your idea on this statement, 'i can do whatever i want on the internet as long as i don't get caught' and i put down my thoughts which were 'this statement is true, i stand by it and you can do whatever you like as long as you don't get caught and don't own up' and then people were like throwing shade at me and i looked at it. I have 5 comments.

My teachers tried to delete it, my classmates literally lectured me and then she read it out loud and the whole class went looking for that one note i made. In the comments, people are spelling my name in caps. It was my opinion, and oh, look all of them are basically hypocrites. Let me just say, these people make me uncomfortable, they don't talk about exactly nice things or approriate things and they are all commenting ( without names too may i add) like "KAT, THAT'S NOT HOW THINGS WORK!" but with my real name and just arghhh.

Also if my teachers wanted me to say, "no, that isn't the right thing to do," or any other answer that the others provided them with, they shouldn't have asked for my opinion. They should have just forced us all to just type the same thing. The other people all wrote like, "no, its unethical and bad" or "False, no, its bad" and stuff like that, filmsy evidence and elaboration. I HAVE MORALS, i am just saying the truth. I feel like the victim of a hate crime. People don't like me enough already, i am a very intresting person, uh, yeah, we are gonna stop there.

Enjoy the rant i guess? I don't know? I am sorry for loading on you but there's a little extra rant so uh, yeah. im just gonna take this out, one sec.

Ok, so uh my teacher was like, next week, we are making pancakes. Fluffy pancakes. It was changed to pancakes without eggs? and now we have to make it ourselves, at home. Where do i get flour? What do i do with the extra flour? I don't know how to cook at all, my partner who has been extremely controlling and like kinda driving me insane, ( ahem i did the whole coursework) also she uses my friend's name for everything? Like, bestie i was literally helping out and you went all, "Oh you don't want (friend's name) to see you burnt right?". Obviously i don't but if i burnt down my house, she wouldn't be surprised. I BURNT MYSELF LAST YEAR, SHE SAW ME BURN MYSELF. Well, my friend burnt me and then the week after that, she burnt herself.

This happens a lot. Also, the very common questions and statements of, "Are you straight?" , "aren't you and (friend's name) dating?", "you guys would make such a cute couple" , " aren't you bi?" and "i thought the two of you were dating," there is nothing wrong with being bi but i am not attracted to her like that. So, they use her for leverage over me to get me to do what they want and also think im dating her? If we were dating, we would both be homeless. I like my house. This doesn't only happen with her. I once got shipped with my brother. I hugged him and some guy was like, "oh you guys like each other," that was awkward. Can i just add, a lot of people like majority of that community know we are siblings.

I also get shipped with his best friend, thanks to a rumor my brother made up. So, sometimes, i would get like comments like, "oh, you like him" or "(brother's name) told me that you and (brother's best friend) are dating," we are not dating. WE ARE JUST REALLY GOOD FRIENDS. I LIKE A FICTIONAL CHARACTER. LEAVE ME ALONE. Also, everytime i have a picture of a guy on my phone or something my cousin just has to tell my brother. THEY ARE STREAMERS. ONE IS OF V FROM BTS SO I CAN TRAMATISE MY FRIEND.

Everytime i cry, someone comes in my room. It is so annoying. LEAVE ME ALONE, I WANT TO CRY. This is why i started reading sad books, listening to sad songs, watching sad movies so i have a reason to cry. There was this once, i wasnt selected to be part of my choir's competition and i was sad about it because i didn't feel good enough. THEY SAID I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH. So, i cried but it wasn't enough so i read the saddest book i could find so i had a reason to cry but by that time, my feelings were gone. This is why i get breakdowns when im overwhelmed because of all this. You know how old i am. I have to deal with this and the pressure of always wanting to be perfect. What else can i do? I am not pretty or smart or talented or have friends, i have like 6 friends and nobody ever keeps me company. So, i focus on being perfect. 100%, i deal with not having any attention because my parents didn't pay me any attention just because i was "independent" or something?

Did i mention, i babysit all my siblings? I am the second child. I baby-sit my older brother. I am sleep-deprived because i can't sleep well at night and i constantly worry about everything and i have to take care of all my friends and it is so exhausting. Yet, i can not cry.

Thanks for staying with me through whatever that was. Uh, yeah, i took the quiz and got chaotic academia. That is my aesthetic. I really want one of those fancy skirts they wear like on pintrest and stuff? Like you know what i mean? The academia skirt? Yeah, i don't have one yet.

Question of the day, what is your dream profession or you could answer my other question which is what would you want to look like? Or you could answer both?

Ok, thank you again. i am gonna go study. Love and hugs and just literal joy sent your way!

- Kat, the ultimate dino mom of Leo, Billy Bob, Jessica, Sophie, Jackson, Sarah, Lily, the Micheals and all her other kids. (Jessica, Sophie and Jackson are mailboxes and Lily is a computer, Micheal is my screwdriver and laptop pencil, there are two micheals.)

Dear Kat,

It's really good to see you in my inbox. I'm sorry for replying late, but exams really had occupied my schedule today and I got my Saturday exam tomorrow. This week is going to be stressful and today's day has been pathetic. I had nothing to do except study and write exams. I feel like I haven't really been social recently and That I'm losing touch with people that I used to be close with and basically I'm letting overthinking take over my mind.

That is so sick. Why is someone's genuine opinion bothering them so much? I totally wouldn't be able to tolerate that. They ought to understand that there is a fine line between a fact and an opinion, and what you stated was just an OPINION. they have no right whatsoever to come at you like that. I totally agree... the teachers ought to have not asked for your opinion if all they desired was a particularly specific answer which opposed the statement. one of the reasons I hate the schooling system has to be THIS. people who are putting comments like that ought to realize that what you stated is exactly what they do in real life. They just want to be seen as the good kid here. At least you have the guts enough to speak the truth.

Miss! You don't have to worry about ranting out to me. You can rant to me for days and I'd still listen. Just go on ranting nobody is stopping you.

Ahhh! I've had that happen to me. I really understand how tough that can be. I really really hate being shipped with someone who I am just platonically friends with like you've got no valid proof to believe that we are romantically involved with each other. I've burnt myself plenty of times too. It's not a pleasant experience. Plus I also hate having controlling partners. Cause all they do is boss you around while they are barely doing a thing. It sucks.

Why? Just why? Why does it even matter to them? Who you date and what your sexuality is, is none of their business. I have no idea why people concern themselves with topics that really don't involve them. It's like people are just ready to make gossip out of anything. A person can't have a bestie without not liking them? I don't get what's so difficult to understand about that. I hate it when I'm casually talking to a guy and people start shipping us and start spreading rumors of us being in a romantic relationship. Another thing they do is, if a person likes me, they automatically assume that I like him back when I've barely even ever spoken to that guy. And yes! I like fictional characters! Don't even assume I like any of you fools cause You idiots bully me and ship me with total crackheads... And my standards are good enough for me to not include you guys in my list of *appropriate candidates* which consists of non-existent people.

Similarly, the moment I'm chatting with some guy, or like have a pic with someone on my mobile phone people just assume that fact that I'm crushing on him. Like no! I don't. We are friends... the others are celebrities, Why can't you understand that? I can't imagine how thick their skull must be considering they can't let a small statement like that sink in.

The crying thingy... I feel personally attacked. Nobody lets me do anything in peace, let alone crying. I literally use the washroom in my room and even my sister comes in there just banging on the door asking me to get the heck out of there and go somewhere else, like can't she use the other two washrooms or what? I like listening to sad stuff and reading angst cause somehow or the other it calms me down... it makes me feel at peace cause I know I'm not the only one who feels like crying. I've got a lot of friends, nobody remembers my birthday, I remember all of theirs'. They don't even text me, It's always me who takes the first step. All my friends just want me by their side cause I'm a smartass they want to show off as a trophy and cause I've got much better sarcasm than them. They just want to benefit from me. That's all. GOD, I'm not pretty at all. I look like a random idiot all the time. I look pathetic. And I lack talent... And you! I warned you, miss! You are pretty, beautiful, talented, smart, friendly, caring, kind and THE BEST!!!

I've never been given attention. Never ever. My sister has always stolen the spotlight. And I hate it. Not even my friends acknowledge me, my parents just ehhhhh. No matter how good I score, No matter how good I behave, No matter what. I'm just never good enough. My parents think of me as a rebellious kid. And I don't know what to do about that. All I've ever done is listen to them. My parents never allowed me to go out and play with my friends when I was a kid, they never let me go on overnight trips, and they barely let me spend time with the few friends I have. They never let me go to outings my school friends planned. Despite that, I never complained. I never had good friends because of that, yet I never complained. A lot of kids my age roam around in shopping malls by themselves, have sleepovers, spend money, roam around with tons of makeup on their faces, are in relationships, and even get into illegal shit. I've never done anything Like that. And yet... I'm never the good kid. I'm still the rebel.

I've got to take care of my sister almost every day. Get her to study, study myself, take care of myself while tolerating my grandmother. I really don't like my grandma, she s very fussy and just keeps yelling around the house the moment my dad and mom leave the house. I've got sensory overload because of her voice. And now I sit and have an anxiety attack almost every time she speaks. I've always got to strive for perfection as well. And I too can't sleep well at night just cause all the worries of the world, keep weighing me down.

Chaotic academia sounds good. It's the same aesthetic my sister got when I asked her to take the test! And oooh! Me too! I love those skirts and outfits they show on Pinterest. I'd love to have them someday.

My dream profession has to be that of a writer. Or perhaps even running a library. just something cozy. Ohh! I'd love to have brown hair, and I'd want to be tall just a little shorter than What I am right now. I just reached my father's height yesterday. And more or less, I'd like the rest to stay just as it is. and perhaps a lighter shade of skin tone. What about you though?

My question for you! If you were to be stranded on a beach island for a week. Who would you bring with you and how would you spend your time there. You can include whatever elements of nature you want to include like forests, lakes, and all.

Sending love, warmth, hugs, and whatever I have to spare that you would like to you!!!!

-Love from Lisette

P.S. That's an interesting family you've got, right there!

[jevilspamton]

if you don't want to answer this, feel free to ignore it!! that's perfectly fine - i don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. but i saw your tags regarding s*nic w*ldf*re and i wanted to know what they did/if i should avoid them, particularly because you mentioned a large age gap & them introducing you to inappropriate content? obv. feel free to ignore/answer on private, i hope things get better for you soon

the inappropriate content part mostly had to do with a separate group i was in when i was 12 i shouldve worded that better in my post sorry!!!

i was initially gonna answer privately but i typed out so much so im like...fuck it. might as well not let my time go to waste

i don't want this to be a ""callout"" post because i dont think this really...classifies as one. i'm just sharing my experiences and my opinion on what happened to me and my friends. this is not an attack. this is venting, if anything.

im going to make this statement and im going to move on! because that's the healthiest choice for me to make! sonic-wildfire can go be mad, he can vague about me, he can call me insults, i do not care. this is for my mental health and my wellbeing.

i'm going to let this out and then get on with my life because i'm finally starting to be happy and i'm not going to allow this to drag me down <3

now onto the actual ramble (i tagged it as #long post (as well as general content warnings like s///icide mentions and all that if you dont want to see this go ahead and filter it):

he didnt have anything to do with explicit images and i didnt say it was a large age gap, just an uncomfortable one, but!!!!!

essentially he is 18 (turning 19 in april), i'm 16. we broke up this year i cant remember if it was before or after he turned 18 in april but regardless it shouldnt have been my responsibility to be the one to prompt the breakup (we were in a polyam relationship with someone else who was about 16 or 17 iirc. we dont talk anymore but thats another story :P)

he projected attraction to a fan artist's version of a sonic character a very clearly meant to have sexualized undertones/creepy OVERtones. the character in question (mighty) is 16. i talked to him about it but he denied it and said he would never display attraction like that to even fictional minors even though i pulled up screenshots of himself going "im gay" @ the images and other portrayals of attraction in tags of his rbs from it, then proceeding to spam delete them after people started dogpiling and agreeing that the topic and the op of the art was very creepy. he got very defensive and said some questionable shit to defend op ("it's not outwardly predatory" etc)

he made suggestive jokes about me and him around the time we were dating, he continued to make them about me and during those recent times i didnt really...realize that wasnt ok so i enabled him by making those jokes back, this was even after i broke up with him which made it a lot worse imo

he was extremely attention grabbing and kind of lowkey passive aggressive/guilt trippy all the time. he also had very bad anger issues and had a VERY heavy history of making a lot of people in the server uncomfortable or even panic

he liveblogged his contemplations and attempt of su*c*de, making my close friend have a panic attack because for the next few hours he didnt say anything. keep in mind 90% of the server has minors in it. he liveblogged this to all these kids including myself who all have triggers related to that sort of topic. we had to set a fucking rule in the server to prevent him from feeling like he could do this again in the vent channel. we understood and were very concerned for his wellbeing and mental health but as one of the older members its supposed to be your responsibility to know where its appropriate to share things like that. in a server with kids, some of them you havent even spoken to once, is not one of those places

i also recall a happening last year with him sharing a gore image of human brains piled in a bathtub while me and a few other people were in a vc with him. had to delete it immediately and tell him to stop. he thought it was appropriate and funny which is so fucking gross, this was during the time he barely knew most of us and we were far from being close friends, and even then that still wouldnt have been appropriate

i could go on and on but tldr hes a very unstable individual who has made a lot of people, both adults and minors, uncomfortable and he threw a fucking fit when we removed him from our server and i blocked him not long after and he called me a "scheming liar" or whatever because i wished to leave off on at least good terms which is why i talked to him before kicking him in the first place. good terms doesnt mean friends. just no hard feelings for cutting connection. he clearly still felt too clingy to me and then got upset when i removed him for good for my mental health

but yknow then he's allowed to vague and ask mutuals for any sonic servers so if he finds us so replaceable idk why hes throwing so much of a tantrum over it??? but yea theres my rant. i was gonna post this privately but, honestly, i feel like people need to hear about this because he is kind of a popular person in the sonic tumblr fandom

to anyone thinking of sending hate or waiting for him to turn on anons again, dont. thats so petty. just let him vague it out of his system because really thats the only way he ever manages his severe anger issues. block him (or block me if you disagree with this ramble or whatever) or dont, i dont care, this is just my story and my experience with him for the past year and a half and im trying to relieve the tension and weight on my shoulders from having to deal with this for the past day or two

TLDR #2 basically just be wary of sonic-wildfire because he has a long history of being very uncomfortable and otherwise harming other ppls mental health and general comfort. you are not obligated to block him. thats your own choice. just please remember these are my experiences and my opinions and i don't expect everyone to adopt these points of view as their own if they do not wish to

[molusca]

she apologized for how she handled the situation and apologized for brushing off someone's honest criticisms as hate. what more is she meant to do? throw herself onto a pyre? is she not allowed to feel lousy that this whole thing blew up in her face? because she's an adult and she made a mistake, she's not allowed to be sad or stressed? she's still an imperfect human. apologizing immediately usually means people are still sensitive to their own hurt of being called out because it's fresh and on their mind so it tends to slip into their apology, but if she had waited any longer to compose herself, you guys would probably have an issue with how long she took. also, in aaaaaallll of this, I've have yet to once see what exactly about her work is so problematic? I've read her fic and I personally can't see anything wrong, although I will admit that yes, I'm a white ciswoman but I'd like to think I'm aware of negative tropes. but the only thing touted is "it made an mlm uncomfortable" but HOW??? honestly, I want to know! if anything so I can avoid doing the same thing! how is anyone meant to learn when you're not bringing up these points as often as you're explicitly laying out the problems in her apology and whatnot. I've seen 6 posts about how shit the apology was and for why and I've not once seen the original comment detailing why the fic was problematic, and I've been looking on twit, tumblr, insta, and ao3. if it's been deleted, why isn't anyone stating again and again what's wrong? also, if someone is making fic/art you don't like, don't. interact. with. it. there's tons of stuff on ao3 and twit that I don't like, some of it that I think is disgusting (do you know how many fics there are with keith/kosmos?) and I just scroll past it cause it can't hurt me if I don't read it. there's one artist that's pretty popular on Twitter and I personally really hate they way they draw klance but it's all over my tl. I respect that person's art style and creativeness and keep on moving. other people enjoy it, good for them. and if I start reading something and get surprised with something I dont like, I leave! find people who write things you like and stop engaging with creators who's things you don't like, as far as I know no one is holding a gun to your head making you read problematic fic. also for as much as you rag on her for the words she used to apologize, you don't seem to be considering your own words when offering criticism. if Taylor mistook the person's words as hate, couldn't it have been because the way he worded the complaint was done hatefully? lastly, no one, absolutely no one, is required to talk about world issues when they're running a fandom account,no matter how "big" they are. we all know what's going on in the world, we're surrounded by sad and stressful stories practically 24/7 and if someone isn't, they're probably curating their social feeds to be that way (like you should do when it come to kl content creators you don't like). people sending hate in Taylor's defense are in the wrong I agree, and this isn't hate its critism its a discussion, but Taylor isn't responsible for, how many people did you say? 16k on twit? even if she said hey guys stop, you think they would? she's can't control all those people and expecting her to is nonsense. I see so many younger fans expecting perfection in their fandoms and that just isn't going to happen. yes we should be striving to be better but no one is ever going to be perfect. not you, not me, not the mlm person, not Taylor, not anyone on any side of this argument. the only way to avoid this kind of circular dog piling and hate sending is to better curate your fandom experience by ignore those you have issues with.- 🦛

she apologized for how she handled the situation and apologized for brushing off someone's honest criticisms as hate. what more is she meant to do?

im pretty sure i said its good that she realizes she handled it poorly. but she makes the whole apology about this, doesnt directly talk about the issues and i know someone went to her to talk about it. also, it took her a day to say something about it so it wasnt exactly immediate (in the sense people had already stopped talking about it but that doesnt mean they werent still bothered). the apology was directed at mlm, and i havent seen one saying it felt genuine. of couse she can be hurt but when you apologize to a marginalized group the focus shouldnt be your feelings, but the feelings of the ones you have hurt.

I've have yet to once see what exactly about her work is so problematic?

she admits to be projecting on lance. so she makes him very femine and keith very masculine. and ok, gay couples like that do exist, but she is a woman projecting in this situation so this bothers people. putting mlm in this position is a harmful steriotype, bc it feels very heterosexual. this is a trope, it unfortunately happens a lot and its harmful. women need to be aware of what they are representing when drawing/writing mlm because well, real mlm are going to see it, and no one likes to feel like a fetish to others. and its not our place to question if the criticism is right or wrong when we are not mlm, so if you read this and think “but thats not a problem thats not a fetish etc” well, its not your place to judge that. theres more to it and you probably could get a better answer from a mlm sorry.

if someone is making fic/art you don't like, don't. interact. with. it. there's tons of stuff on ao3 and twit that I don't like, some of it that I think is disgusting (do you know how many fics there are with keith/kosmos?) and I just scroll past it cause it can't hurt me if I don't read it.

please, lets not compare a minority pointing out harmful tropes with. something fucking illegal.

as you said, you are a cis woman, of course its not going to hurt you in this case. but if people are making harmful content its not a simple matter of “dont interact with it” because they will still be promoting it, other people are going to read it, and media influences how we see minorities so of course people will not like when they see bad portrayal of them. also, tumblr sucks so even if you want to just “dont interact with it” its hard because even after blocking you can still cross the content of someone. not sure how it works on twitter but anyway this discussion started on tumblr and tumblr doesnt stop people who were bothered by her to avoid her by blocking.

if Taylor mistook the person's words as hate, couldn't it have been because the way he worded the complaint was done hatefully?

i think she deleted the ask by now, but i dont remember the ask being hateful. i remember someone asking if she was a fujoshi, and another person mentioned that mlm didnt like the way she portrayals klance. i dont remember it being hateful. but again, she apologized for handling it badly. its just that she stops there.

no one, absolutely no one, is required to talk about world issues when they're running a fandom account,no matter how "big" they are. we all know what's going on in the world, we're surrounded by sad and stressful stories practically 24/7 and if someone isn't, they're probably curating their social feeds to be that way

ignoring world issues is a privilege. if someone is able to turn off from all the problems in the world, its a privilige. yes no one should talk aobut it all the time thats not even healthy, but to never talk about it is a privilege. thats what black people are saying, they cant just turn off from racism, so yes they are going to expect white people to do something. online honestly i cant do shit, i dont think anything i reblog here does a difference and i do what i can in my own country, but she has a plataform that could help bring awareness. again, its a privilege to be able to curate your social media to be a perfect happy place.

even if she said hey guys stop, you think they would? she's can't control all those people and expecting her to is nonsense.

maybe they wouldnt, but if people were doing this type of thing in my name, in my defense, i would at least say something about it idk. she cant control them but she makes nothing to show that she disagrees or look for the people being harassed to say something about it.

the only way to avoid this kind of circular dog piling and hate sending is to better curate your fandom experience by ignore those you have issues with.

when it comes to simple things like “i prefer taller lance and i dont like taller keith” yeah, its fine to ignore people who draw taller keith and move on with your life or something like that. but we are talking about mlm, a real group of people, being upset for being portrayed in a harmful and steriotype way. its everywhere in fandom, and in real life. they cant escape from real life, and then they come to fandom where everyone wants some escapism and have to deal with more issues. its tiring

[otterplusharchive]

Ah ok Im pretty sure they’re talking abt the history of Japanese imperialism in eastern and southeastern Asia? A lot of families like my own do not like to engage with Japanese inventions and products because they forced re-education of Japanese culture in their imperialist holdings all while terrorizing native people. Nanjing is one big one for China, especially the horrific acts they did there, but there might be things I’m missing (im Korean so I’m not an expert on Chinese history...) A lot of younger ppl don’t mind Japanese products but they still recognize the fact that Japan did try and burn native history and replace it with their own propaganda. A lot of this ties into today too, Right wing Japanese ppl are still pushing for imperialist policies and acts, and Sh*nzo Abe.... ugh. Basically I think the person was looking at you as an ignorant white person who doesn’t know abt this stuff, tying China, Korea, and Japan as a huge category of “East Asian culture” w/o knowing the differences between China, Korea, and Japan. (Can relate a bit w my white professor...) We are all very different, so generalizing us is pretty bad.

thank you for taking the time to send me this at all honestly i really appreciate it, generalizing like that is the last thing i want to do but even if that wasnt my intention i kno that things can still be harmful despite intentions and i can absolutely see where that could come into play here now that youve explained. ive already deleted the post and that was my oversight & fault to begin with and im very sorry for that- i always want to take responsibility and acknowledge if ive done something harmful or wrong so i hope u dont mind me answering to this publicly, that was my fault and ill absolutely be more thoughtful in the future, and i always want to be open to being told that im doing something wrong. i hope ur doing okay, thank u again! also if u didnt want this to be answered publicly just lmk and ill delete it

[burnedbyshoto]

if you sent any asks (recommendations for things don’t count as I have to look around!) since october 17 until october 22 it is in here :)

anon said: The header for your askbox response post is *aesthetic*. I think it’s a really good idea to post one every few days if you have the time. ❤️

well, thANK YOUUUUU!!!!! I put in a whopping 10 minutes into it because I had no idea what I was doing! i’ll definitely be doing asks this way now though.

big dick kiri anon said: !!!!!! ILY HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY PLS HYDRATE 💙💙❤️❤️ -bigdickkiri

Omg love! Please don’t worry about kinktober just breathe! Take your time and try to relax 💙❤️- bigdickkiri

DAMN, that is a LOT. Please look after yourself and don't stress about it love!! - bigdickkiri

I'm very excited. BUT PLEASE LOOK AFTER YOURSELF, DO NOT FORCE ANY OF THIS OMG - bigdickkiri

AHH, AMAZING, TALENTED SWEETHEART, GORGEOUS LOVE, HAVE A INCREDIBLE DAY AND HYDRATE - bigdickkiri

I believe I did have a good day, and I am actually super bad at hydrating, buT ILL TRY TO GET BETTER!!!!

I am breathing!!!! JUSTTT BREATHEEEE!!! I am taking my time now and relaxing to the best of my ability :D thank you so much bdk I love you with all my soul

theres always a lot, but if im not doing a lot I dont do anything so on one hand.... it’s okay LMAO but I will continue to try and not stress :D

BDK I WOULD NEVER WANT TO MAKE YOU THINK IM FORCING THIS OUT OF MEEEE ILL TRY MY BEST TO MAKE YOU PROUD

GHSOGHJIAORGJRGIRAHG YOURE AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, TERRIFIC, INCREDIBLE!!!!!!! YOU HYDRATE AND MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU

@bread-theduck​ said: We love you and support you ❤ dont push yourself, your mental health is so much more important that kinktober haha. Take all the time you need, we're right here and open if you wanna talk~

I don’t really try to push myself... it just happens subconsciously D: but thank you for the love and support!!!! my mental health is stronger than I give it credit though

anon said: listen! we all appreciate you and your writing dearly but! I think we can all agree that we want you to be okay mentally and physically before you make yourself write! kinktober can wait! you’re more important!! at the very least, pls take a break for tonight.

I honestly can’t even remember when i said I was tired, but thank you for your kind words regardless!!!! I am trying to get better at it because i don’t want to disappoint you guys D:

@saintbullet​ said: Please take care of yourself!!! DONT risk your health for writing. We care about you so much! Be careful 💕💕💕

I know I push myself a lot, and i’m really sorry for scaring you all!!!! I am trying though, and it just has a lot to do with my mental fatigue and that im judging some hard classes right now then it has to do with anything

anon said: hey it'll be alright! idk whats wrong but i promise everything will work out like its supposed to! you just take care of yourself and take as much time as you need to feel better!! we love u!! ♥️

It wAS MY PERIOD I REMEMBER NOW AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOOO WITH ALL THE LOVE MY HEART POSSES!!!!!!

anon said: periods can be a pain so pls take care of yourself!! drink lots of water and rest up!!!

my period is the worst, if she was a person i’d block her and avoid her irl!!!!!!!!

anon said: Lol ok so gay for Mina anon back and no, I was not the anon who requested it. But lmao, let me take this time to whole heartedly thank that anon for quenching my thirst anyways

oh whoops, sorry for thinking you were someone else D: iM GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU WERE HAPPY WITH IT!!! READER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BAD GUY BUT I COULDN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE IT WORK LMAO

anon said: I am just planning on hanging out and reading all the lovely writing that comes from this

i’m pretty sure this is about my nsfw/sfw headcanons, and honestly im sooo very excited to start working on them!!!!!!!!

anon said: you have no idea how happy I got when I saw u posted for mina like UGH MY WIFE I LOVE HER SO MUCH 🥺🥺🥺 N GIVING US GAYS AMAZING CONTENT UR AMAZING MWAH MWAH KEEP BEING THE PERFECT ANGEL U ARE 🥺🥺💞💗💖💕💓💝

AHHHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT MINA IS LIKE MY FAV CLASS 1-A GIRL SO I LOVE HER SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHH YOURE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU AND YOURE AN ANGEL!!!!!!!

many a anons said: Sorry I didn’t see the part where you said not to request characters that were already on the list I thought that was the list of character we could vote for.

so sorry I accidentally sent a character in that has already been requested, Tumblr didn't show me the follow up posts ;;

nooo I didn’t see the list I’m so sorry 😭😭😭

LOL ITS OKAYYYY. y’all were hoes and kept sending me shouto who I couldn’t even think about deleting from my list... so... you are lucky >:(

anon said: hello! not a request here but take care of yourself anc stay hydrated bb 🥰🥰

I got my water right next to me rn bby :D

anon said: be todoroki’s girlfriend

bitch I am todorokis WIFE, why would I need to dress up???

@girl-with-a-mentality​ said: You can be todoroni for Halloween.

....you right...

anon said: Thirst post infoo ;3 I found a doujinshi of Bakugo being teased and toyed with sexually with by Ochako, Yaomomo, and our lovely momma Mina

...send it

anon said: GIRLLLLLL

ANONNNNNNNNNNNNN ;)

local dumbass anon said: local dumbass is here once again, i thiink you know who i am and might've found my ig buuuuuut..?

uh.... I don’t know???????? I only followed people on insta if you gave me your handle or followed me first.... also did you cut your bangs?

anon said: Your Monoma scenario was really good!If we’re being honest, though, Monoma would literally start foaming at the mouth if he saw anyone from 1-A making physical contact with his s/o, ESPECIALLY Bakugou. They would have to call animal control because there would be a rabid Monoma in the dorms lol

okay... while you’re not wrong, I just thought 18 year old monoma should have grown up just the tiniest bit! plus his obsession is controlled because of his insecurity so LMAO IDK I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE UGH

@awkward-theaterkid​ said: I was reading your Day 19 Fic but I couldnt take it seriously, the title "My Way" kept reminding me of the Backstreet Boys "I want it that way" and it keeps popping up while I read it 😂

as someone who only heard that song because of b99 I read this and immediately thought of b99 LMAOOOOO

🍒💥anon said: URGENT PSA: LYSSA IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND I LOVE HER -🍒💥

Hello Queen Lyssa, I finally read "And They Were Roommates" and have absolutely no idea why I put it off so long! ITS A MASTERPIECE. Each chapter is addictive and the slow burn and angst destroyed me 😭 The smut in the final chapter is flawless and sooooooooooooooooooo H O T. Shoto wasnt even my favorite character but he might have to be now (or at least in my top 3) 😰 This is my new favorite series and I cant wait to re-read it!!!! YOURE AMAZING AND ILY. You own my soul now -🍒💥

URGENT PSA I LOVE YOU CHERRY EXPLOSION AND YOURE AMAZING :D

ATWR holds a special place in my heart uwu.... HAOGHIOSRGSIOGJSIHG THANK YOU!!!!! SHOUTO IS AN AMAZING CHARACTER WHO I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEARRTTTTTT

~ thank you to @didyoumeanme​, @kittenlordofdarkness​, @soafers​ for submitting memes and animal pics for my rommate, much appreciated :D ~

anon said: Did the local dumbass anon ever cut their bangs? Do you know?

....I dont know, but I just asked her rn >:)

this paragraph is dedicated to those surrounding to the meltdown mess that occurred yesterday. to each and every one of you who sent me kind words via my askbox or directly contacting me, thank you. I really want to move past this because I feel by holding on it will make me feel less inclined to write because of my guilt. of course, I do not expect you to forgive me, or trust me in my story of how it went down, because at the end of the day it was my mistake for trusting in someone to write with pure intentions when I didn’t know if she could. im trying to continue on with my best foot forward and im grateful for those of you who trusted in me. I swear I will never push myself again, and that I will instead take my time in order to publish my original work and only my original work and not take anything that comes from a “friend”. know that I love you all, and I dont know how to take it easy so my break lasted a whooping 10 hours, and my blog won’t discontinue until im done with bnha or...I get into medschool which is still 3 years away, I am taking care of myself, im staying hydrated, im trying not to put myself down anymore, I will keep going, & will forever continue to be more careful with what I post. also, no one was really coming for me, so don’t worry if you thought so lol. (to you 9 anons who expressed their kind thoughts to me, thank you. to big dick kiri anon thank you. to @bqkubabey​, @flayvus​, & @ultimate-shit-poster​ thank you so so much you really helped me not drown myself in my own guilt.)

anon said: i hope you’re feeling okay today :((

I am feeling a lot better. unfortuantely I did make myself really sick yesterday because ive never been as stressed in my life ever, but im okay now. there’s nothing I can do more for what happened so I will try to continue on as best as I can and I appreciate you caring... ilysm :)

@ikinabi​ said: Your writing??? Actually god sent 🥵👌 and the way you write Mirio gets me GOING

BAHAHAH NOOOOO ITS NOT PLAFUAOGHJIPRAHAR MY MIRIO PIECE YOU LIKED WAS MY FIRST PIECE ON HIM AND OOO BOY I DID NOT DO HIM JUSTICE

anon said: fuck buddy iida is a thought that has never crossed my mind but now that i’ve seen your post i am intrigued haha

well... it is up :) if you wanna check her out :)

anon said: You dont have to answer if you dont wanna but i just wanna see if your okay. I hope your end your doing well and not stressing.

i’m doing much better than I was yesterday!!! I just needed to rest and calm down and stop attacking myself. thank you for checking in!!! it means so much :,)

[lastoneout]

@iamtypinglike98madmen mentioned you on a post “Ok….the initial reactions to these episodes are seriously concerning...”

@lastoneout See, i value and respect your opinion on this, and I'm trying not to let my own salt get in the way of that. But at the end of the day I think it would be easier for me to believe that Pink regretted her actions and wished she could have done better if we could get more than just vague statements like "I barely know you""that's a good thing." i get that it's complex but it is so hard for me to like it when it's so reminiscent of shit i've experienced.

(Sorry for answering in this format the typing in the little reply box on the posts is super frustrating but if you’d rather I didn’t I can delete this no problem) 

But no I def get exactly what you mean, it’s hard to speculate on what Pink would have done or meant since she’s dead in the story and we don’t really get to see a lot of her in flashbacks since she didn’t really seem to want anyone to know more about her at all and the story reflects that.

I def understand not liking Pink tho like I don’t blame anyone for not liking her, I guess I just get a bit miffed when it fandom as a whole paints her as completely evil when the whole point of SU is that no one is completely evil or completely good, it kinda just feels like people are missing the point a bit. But overall everyone is gonna interpret a story differently and our own histories come into play a lot and the same things that make one person uncomfortable might not even register as troubling to someone else.

I guess I also kinda relate to Pink a bit? Not to get too ~deep~ but being the oldest sibling in a family with abusive or neglectful parents is something that’s hard to deal with because you really do end up hurting people you care about just because it was how you were raised or cuz you didn’t know better, and even if they forgive you that guilt is crushing sometimes. I like Pink because since all of SU is about overcoming cycles of abuse she represents the person who has done wrong due to how she was raised and had no guidance as to how to be a better person until it was almost too late, but she still tried. She didn’t try well, or maybe as much as she should have, but I understand that guilt and desire to hide what you’ve done and just move on, because thinking about the things you did when there is no way to change it hurts a lot. It also hits harder for me since in terms of gems when she hurt Pink Pearl and Spinel she wasn’t an adult yet, not exactly, she clearly had issues controlling her powers and her family was being abusive too, so that’s part of why she did what she did. It’s not an excuse ofc, but it gives her past more nuance imo. The story could reflect that a LOT better but it’s the vibe I get and that’s why I like her, or at least think of her as a compelling character.

But that’s just my interpretation of the character and I def understand that not everyone is gonna feel that way, especially since Pink Pearl was very clearly and intentionally using coded language that people in abusive romantic relationships use to justify what they went through. So it’s def very complicated, I like her due to my interpretation of the character but not everyone is gonna share that view and that’s fine, I was mostly irritated in the full on fandom trend of acting like she’s the most evil monstrous person who could ever possibly live, since while it’s fine as an opinion it just seems a bit contrary to the theme of the show. People don’t have to like her, I just wish the fandom wasn’t like that about it. 

Edit: Now that I look back at the post it's like super hostile? I dunno how it didnt read like that to me the first time but yeah that was def in the wrong. I deleted it and I'm sorry, I wasnt trying to day that no one can talk about their issues with the show or to imply that your issues with her character were invalid. I'm def gonna make sure I actually read stuff all the way before reblogging it.

[moon-yeongjun]

The Internet is for Porn || Moon Bros

Summary: Tae has some questions about porn. 

TW: talk of porn, but i mean this is very PG-13 people 

@moon-yeongtae

Tae: Hyung

 Jun: eh?

 Tae: I have a weird question to ask you

 Jun: when are you not asking me some kind of weird question?

Jun: what is it

 Tae: I tried looking it up on the internet but the internet is a weird place, hyung

Tae: um first of all you've probably had sex right

 Jun [deleted]: holy SHIT

Jun: what kind of question is that???

 Tae: look i have to talk about this sometime alright I'm not stupid but also our parents arent really sex talk enthusiasts

Tae: I'm a sheltered catholic school kid

 Jun [deleted]: what did i do to deserve thsi

Jun: what is your question tae yah

 Tae: is it like 

Tae: idk exciting to think about? 

Tae: like is it normal to maybe not be that excited when you're sort of trying the normal things to /be/ excited?

 Jun: are you talking about watching porn

 Tae: maybe

 Jun: there are many types of porn out there. not all porn is made equal. if you find some porn not exciting, its probably bad porn

Jun: or it isnt 

Jun: your taste 

Jun: yah i cant believe you're making me type this

 Tae: I underestimated how embarrassing it would be to read you type porn

 Jun: you brought it on yourself

 Tae: um so basically I'm sort of doing it wrong then?

Tae: bc it's supposed to be nice

 Jun: you cant do porn wrong

 Tae: and not weird or embarrassing even just with myself

 Jun: its like finding something to watch on netflix not everything is going to be worth your time or something you will like

Jun: also stop watching porn

Jun: im your hyung and i am required to tell you that even if i know you wont listen

 Tae: well u watch porn

 Jun: i never said that

 Tae: u know an awful lot about it

 Jun: never said that either 

Jun: we are talking about you not me

 Tae: I just feel like I'm sort of broken

 Jun: you are not broken

Jun: if this has something to do with... ah i hate you

Jun: if you're having problems with erectile dysfunction, that's a medical issue and you should see a doctor WHO IS NOT ME

Jun: but more than likely you're just young, puberty is weird, hormones are weird, you're thinking too much about it

 Tae: yeah I'm probably thinking too much idk

 Jun: stop watching porn this problem goes away see

Jun: again i have to tell you that as your hyung

 Tae: I just...guys at school are always talking about girls and how they look naked and what noises they make which I dont think any of them have ever actually slept with a girl...maybe murdered a few idk

 Jun: lmfao

 Tae: but it's not appealing and that just makes me feels weird

Tae: bc sometimes I feel like I want to have sex obviously but at weird times or bc of weird things

 Jun [deleted]: seriously why is this happening to me

Jun: boys your age are always going to make up things like that to seem cool they're probably just mimicking bad porn

Jun: its good that you arent like them

Jun: i wasnt like them.

Jun: you should focus on your studies

 Tae: it doesnt feel like its good

Tae: what if

Tae: nvm

 Jun: are these boys your friends?

Jun: what are their names, nemo and what's the other one

Jun: they arent making fun of you are they?

 Tae: no they arent

Tae: they dont talk about sex that much

Tae: Cept nemo said he wanted to climb a boy like a tree once

 Jun [deleted]: aish fairies 

 Tae: lmfao

 Jun: Well, maybe if you talk to your friends, people you trust, then you'll feel differently

Jun: you can have actual conversations instead of that locker room talk

 Tae: that's what I'm doing....

 Jun: Yes, but people who are in that same stage as you are

Jun: you know, puberty and hormones

 Tae: I cant talk to nemo about this

Tae: and I'm not going to talk to finn about sex he might faint

 Jun [deleted]: aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 Tae: louie will tell me to go try it

Tae: he just jumps into stuff

 Jun: Why can't you talk to nemo then?

Jun: you two seem very close

 Tae: we are

 Jun: he is a good friend to you

 Tae: he is

 Jun: i mean i will.....................keep talking to you if you want

 Tae: thinking about talking about sex like this with nemo makes me want to vomit

 Jun: but you didn't like it when I typed porn, so

Jun: that seems very dramatic

 Tae: yeah well I'm a teenager

Tae: also ur literally so dramatic I wonder where I got it

 Jun: ah you punk watch it

Jun: Look, here is my best advice

 Tae: [deleted]: would u still love me if I liked boys?

 Jun: porn is very overwhelming at first. i'd suggest just relaxing and trying it without porn. Go slow, see what feels good. Use lube, that helps

Jun: There

 Tae: yeah ok

Tae: sorry hyung

 Jun [deleted]: you should be, this was very uncomfortable

Jun: no worries tae yah

Jun: You aren't broken. it's also okay if it isnt for you. Lots of things that we think are normal are not actually very normal. The human body is extremely complicated and no two bodies are alike. There's really no way to tell what is normal or not, and thats my professional opinion

 Tae: thank u

 Jun: just respect women, none of that rape fantasy trash, dont have sex with children and animals

Jun: ok

 Tae: got it

 Jun: good

Jun: you're a good kid, tae yah

 Tae: you're a good hyung

[spockular]

wow ok i meant to write a lil paragraph ranting about how im crazy etc but it got bigger im prob gonna delete later

ok nobody wants to read this and honestly i dont want them to but i dont have anyone to talk to about this & its been eating away at me lately for some reason so! uh im rly bad about like. letting things go and i’ve been single for like five fucking years bc im disgusting but i check up on my ex now and then (sometimes more often than others) because i dont even know why honestly.... idk i think i just got a glimpse into what life as a gay trans etc could be for a second when we were together and even afterwards when i was still friends with some of our mutual friends (im still friends with one of them but the rest i no longer speak to). like our relationship wasnt great and i was terrified the entire time to the point of like. not eating for days and shit (one time i passed out in the hallway of its dorm from anxiety and hunger lmfao) but thats kinda irrelevant now. 

anyways its long over and but bc i am petty and angry all the time and have had very little going for me socially for p much my entire life im still sad about how little connection we actually had and how desperate i was for us to be close but was continually denied that. im sad for my little teenage self and im sad about what that did to me as a person (a lot of this falls on my own shoulders but i’ll just say its been a real long slow journey from then to now and im still trudging along). 

i do still care about my ex tho just like. as a person and even though it fucks me up in ways i still dont rly know how to articulate i like to check its social medias every once in a while just to see whats up etc. kinda recently my ex and its current partner (someone i used to be friends with) started t and im happy for them both but it also feels like such a punch to the gut like.... theyve had more time to figure out their gender i think (idk the exact situation obvs) bc ive been so shut down for my entire life but it just feels rly shitty. and i feel shitty for feeling shitty bc why should i?? they arent taking anything away from me or even affecting my life at all; we havent even lived in the same side of the country for a long time and we havent spoken even longer than that. but its hard for me to see and think about either way. 

i feel weird too bc we’ve had a lot of parallels in our life that to the casual observer seems like im probably copying my ex but i honestly have not.... like we’ve both been through a few name changes and both times our new chosen names have been rly similar but its legit complete coincidence which freaks me out. and we’ve had a lot of similar interests in media and in the kind of art we make..... idk i feel rly weird about it. 

idek what i came here to say anymore im just. stressed out rly bad all the time lmao. ive been doing a lot of work on myself lately but it still feels like im not getting anywhere. i cant do therapy but ive gotten rly good at self reflection and recognizing unhealthy/destructive patterns of thought and action in myself but im not always good at correcting it because its just me and my dumb wormy brain in here. idk im rly sad i guess is the point im sorry if anyone read this whole thing and if we know each other irl im sorry if it made you feel weird i normally dont talk about this for that reason

[wrestlezon]

aew rampage 10/21/22 liveblog containment zone

laughing my ass off at excalibur's reference (the attempt of trademarking the word "edge" for video games) he is truly The Gamer's Commentator

the acclaimed vs varsity... guys. tony nese and josh(?) woods. i forgot their title

oh no! billy gunn is ousted from ringside by the ref. golly! im unfocused. sorry acclaimed im trying my best to pay attention to your match its been a while since ive seen daily's place wood's fireman's carry into knee move...? bowens on the offense! they win!

cock and ball destruction ........caster thats obscene. dont fuck the belt on live tv!

backstage with tony schiavone and jade cargill

oh no! penelope ford... injured and out... i heard them mention this earlier but still :( i wanted to watch her fight willow!! wahhhh man jade is super mad! golly i do hope she fights nyla rose i wanna see nyla rose !!!!

watching the show Actually Live for the first time in a while means i can actually keep up with liveblogging it lmao... i need these commercial breaks to put words together

backstage with eddie and ortiz and death triangle

omg lmao ortiz put together an intervention for eddie. "eddie youre out of control" the lucha bros are here with encouraging words and eddie is just like :/? omg pac setting up pac vs eddie??? lmao poor eddie tho ;o; hes so blindsided

hook vs ari devari

those are some crisp printed hundreds i wonder how much it is to get fake film prop money whoa hook's getting beaten up classic threatening chin grab. love to see it whoa another pin break. will they actually make hook lose (no, but theyre not making it look easy!) oh theres redrum lol

haha vsk trying to fan him awake with the money redrum 2!!!! nooo dont put the money in his mouth you dont know where those crisp bills have been

backstage with the firm! ethan page and stokely

theyre bullying matt hardy ............ is he trying to outcringe them "by the time im done, you wont want me on your team"

willow nightingale vs leila gray

yay willow i wish penelope were here but ok... fighting! tackle! big scoop! big slam! theyre giving willow a lot of lore on commentary. which is funny because i know so little about leila gray in comparison ringside shenanigans! this match seems slightly awkward in its flow and pacing...? maybe im just looking too hard. or maybe leila is new? i dont know much about her so thatd check out "she aint no baddie! im the baddie" is that what was said there lol weird... match... maybe that penelope ford thing was a real last minute development. did they do dark matches before this show

OH!!!!!! WILLOW HIRED!!! yay!!!! i just uh... wish it wasnt after such a... weird match... oh... jade hijacking willow's celebration... i mean.. i guess thats heel behavior omg nyla and crew stole her car lol jade cargill killing every security guard

video segment with 10 and rush (and orange cassidy!)

oh lol theyre playing this on tv? nice. it was really good. i do think its funny that all the good segments they put on social media that i end up watching they also play on tv. better not to waste good segments to be lost in the social media oh they cut out the tony khan part of it lol he made a promise he wouldnt become an onscreen character after all

backstage pre-match with 10 and rush and orange

orange why are you with mark henry-- lmao why ARE you getting between these two guys' conflict jose i recognize your threat to orange but. i think punk has the honor of the shortest title run. twice over (😭) lmao orange has his own branded microphone... please tell me this is going to be a recurring thing stealing mark henry's bit again!!

rush vs 10 vs orange cassidy

andrade seamlessly deleted from the storyline i have such bad memory i have to keep reminding myself. *touches the earth* there was a guy here, once. i do this for punk and the elite as well i hope the elite and omega come back soon... yay!!! the best friends are here too!!!!!! :)c i love getting glimpses of my favorite guys in the background. imagine if i got to saw them wrestle :OOOO (theres plenty of non-conspiracy reasons for them to not have bookings. i understand. also they DID just wrestle in a trios match) (but that wasnt about them! it was about oc and pac!) (ok enough of that, its time for the main event!!!) he kept those glasses on for longer than i thought aoughh!! rush throwing beverage around! sticky cable choking! hm. its ok. i like the lime color watching 10 and rush fight, it makes me think that maybe oc turning this into a threeway gives 10 an out to lose but not lose his mask to rush thats a very charitable interpretation of the situation though. he also could just be being a funny little rascal oof!! solid table... unbreaking... 10 is so beefy. beef guy. real ooo i love me a good spear oh! orange is back in the ring the old nelson into pockets bit wow what a smooth beach break lmao why is open in-ring meddling legal in a three way i seriously love danhausen's curse-into-dickpunch manuever very mp100 reigan hypnosis punch energy rush trying to mess with 10's mask! are they going to reveal 10's canonically pretty face no! it will not occur. orange wins!

10 standing in the ring looking at orange... 10 looking at rush... lmao orange looking at rush like hes a weirdo

aww sad in memoriam bit at the end :(

the fite feed kept going but is glitched frozen. im missing out on the best friends being in the ring "theyre probably hugging right now" my friend does nothing but directly wound me

[themcfuckups]

ok, below is an rp i and @monty-enzo​ did, it sorta peters off when i guess i left the rp mood, which is why it switched from first person? to just us talking about them. (also my end started out not rp-like bcuz idk i do that sometimes when i dont feel like typing real rp responses) warnings: some nsfw at the end, otherwise its fairly safe word count: 2069(nice)

Monty was a mess, he said he would be home in a while. But his 'while' had dragged on to longer then he wanted. When he got home he just collapsed on the couch, too tired to move too upset to clean up. To much pain for anything else. He takes out his phone and looks at it bleary eyed, then deletes the messages then texts Oscar. Sorry I'm late. -M Are you still home? -M I hope you made yourself some dinner. -M Please don't wait up for me. -M He drops the phone onto the ground and lays with his face in the couch.

oscar was prob crying bcuz he was lonely and sal prob hung out with him till it got late then went home, and the lonely part isnt montys fault, oscars just really extroverted and has a need to be around ppl a lot. but when he hears montys back he'd immediately go greet him. sit on the floor next to the couch and be like hi im glad ur home bby

Monty felt sick, and the expectant look on Oscar's face made his stomach turn. What was he supposed to say? He didn't say anything he just started crying and clung on to Oscar. "S-stupid, h-hormones." he sniffed. "S-sorry I hic took s-so long t-to  sob come ho-home.."

Oscar wasn't expecting the burst of emotion from monty. he hugged him from the floor, rubbing his back "aw hey, what's wrong baby? who's ass do i needta kick?" he said the last part with a hint of aggression, always ready to throw down if someone hurt monty in any way.

Monty sniffed trying to get his words out without sounding to blubbery, "Atlas invited me over.. to introduce me to someone I never met." he wipes his face. "It was my dad..." he mumbles "Then Atlas got mad when I said he couldn't come to the wedding..."

Oscar wasnt sure how to respond to that. he'd always assumed monty's parents were dead, since he'd never heard mention of them. but of course, the main thing that rung in oscars head was that atlas was the one who'd upset him. he leaned back to cup his face and kiss his forehead, with sincerity and a small smile "do ya want me to punch him? i can punch him for ya."

Monty actually let out a weak giggle at that "No his face has to be pretty for the wedding you know..." he wipes his face and snuggles with Oscar. "I just dont know how he expects me to suddenly allow someone like that, back into my life..." Monty choked up again "He didn't want me."

oscar nuzzled him, happy he'd gotten a smile out of him."well, he made tha mistake of his life, clearly. look at what a wonderful person he missed out on knowin."  he wasnt fond of thinking about family that didnt want him, but he could relate a lot to it, and he didnt want monty to feel alone in it  "if it helps any.. my dad didnt want me either. i was told he seen me after i was born in the hospital and jus left then and there.. but ya know, fuck em. theyre just shitty people who dont give a fuck about their own kids.. id bet money their ribcages are empty." he said the last sentence with a sneer.

Monty didn't want to dwell on the subject any longer, so he just smothered Oscar in kisses. In his mind he claimed they would be the better dads and not leave their kids and never look back. He slides off the couch and carefully sits in Oscar's lap "Were you able to get yourself some dinner?" he asked finally, "Also you smell like Sal," he leans close and sniffs him. Sure he didnt have the smelling power Oscar's moms did but he could still smell that.

oscars tail thumped the floor a little before he controlled it to stop, happily kissing back and cuddling him close "wasnt hungry, and sal hung out with me for a bit.  they got some dinner for me before they left, think its chinese.. ya wanna eat it?"

"No, I'm not really hungry... I don't think the baby was to happy I got upset.. and kind of hurt me a little." Monty rubs his stomach slightly then rubs Oscar's. "And how are you my little turtle dove, did you get lonely too?" he coos and smooches Oscar's stomach.

oscar grins lopsided and does his best not to wag his tail again at the cute display. he was really getting tired of this tail business. the small fetus responded by giving a weak little kick, "heh, i think they missed ya too. looks like ya got two number one fans now, huh?"  it takes him a moment to backtrack to the first sentence, grin dropping in worry "do ya feel ok? should we go to tha doctor? are you bleeding? are they moving?" barage of questions as his hands moved under montys clothes to gently feel his stomach.

Monty slightly tensed under Oscar's hands and his face colored "Yes I feel fine, no we dont need a doctor, no I am not bleeding, and yes they are moving." and just as he said that Shiloh turned over, the movement felt against Oscar's hands. Monty shuddered a little knowing that Oscar's fingers would reach where the strap would be if he had a bra on. Which he promptly removed as soon as he got home.

oscar grinned at the movement, feeling his soul flutter in response. that was his baby in there, a tiny little thing he made with monty. he completly ignored his tail thumping the floor now, too concentrated on monty to care "youll tell me if ya dont feel good, right? and you should eat, what if it's hungry?"

He smiles softly "Of course babe, I'll eat for them, and I will tell you if something is wrong." Monty gets up with a little effort and waddles into the kitchen for some cinnamon oatmeal and milk. Something warm and yummy and filling for the baby. 

Oscar didnt have nearly as much trouble as Monty did with getting up, following behind him and being what some would consider an absolute annoyance, hovering, rubbing his shoulders , ect. Though at least he helped assist monty on getting items. He got a text, fishing his phone out to glance at it before shoving it back in his pocket without giving the words of the text a second thought. 

Monty honestly didn't mind Oscar hovering him, he had been used to it for a long time, and knew how to do things without tripping over him. Monty made dinner and while he was working on it watched as Oscar got a text "Who was it?" he asked seeing him shove it back into his pocket, concerned. "You okay babe?" he frowns stopping what he was doing and turning around to give Oscar his undivided attention.

Oscar looked at him a little confused, almost already forgetting the text. "Oh, it was jus ma." They had left for a few days to go deal with something else, but both texted him several times a day to make sure he wasn't slacking on taking care of his baby. Monty turning his attention towards him though, he crouched to nuzzle him again, being his ever affectionate self and ignoring whatever his mother had told him. 

Monty had finished making the oatmeal, since he wasnt entirely hungry, though it was for Shiloh's sake. He kissed Oscar for a moment then turns to get his bowl and starts eating, "Was it something important? You shouldn't ignore her texts." 

Oscar sits down, frowning a little "I'm not ignoring her, I seen it, it was just about-" he glanced at the bowl and frowned more, looking guilty "oh.. hm.." he fiddled with his sleeve a bit "I guess I should eat too. Heh.." its not that he was trying to not take care of himself, it just didnt really click as important to him unless he actually thought about it. 

"So, you didn't eat when Sal brought food over?" he asked as he spooned another mouthful of oatmeal into his mouth, he felt the baby shift inside of him. Rubbing his stomach "There there little one you'll get some food it will just take a little bit." Monty sits on Oscar's lap "Aahh." he holds a spoonful of oatmeal to Oscar. 

Oscar shrugged "put it in the fridge, that's why I asked if you wanted it.." he felt bad now for neglecting his baby. And stupid that he needed to be reminded of something so simple. He still smiled a little at the cute offer, eating the spoonful before kissing montys neck "if only eating you out counted as a square meal, I'd never forget to eat." He sat monty in his place, going to grab the food hed put in the fridge since he didnt want monty having to share his meal with him. 

Monty blushed, though looked down when he got moved "Oh," he frowns he didnt really want take out "It was very nice of Sal to bring you some food while I was away." he stated eating more of the oatmeal, even though he wasn't exactly gone very long. Though again just thinking about it had his mind full of thoughts. His dad, suddenly coming back into his life which he had no idea he still was alive. Why had Atlas not said anything until just now? Monty stopped eating. -------

m- I guess Monty would of just told Oscar hes not sure what to think about inviting his dad to his wedding, and hes not happy Atlas didn't tell him his dad was still alive until now and hes not even sure he wants Atlas to go. Like 'you cant just forget about that and not tell me.'

o-Oscar wouldnt know what to suggest, just be like 'follow ur heart'

m-I think Monty would be mad for like a while and fuckin extreme clean the house. which .. Oscar should stop him since hes pregnant -v- dishes, scrub the floors, counters, wipe the walls, dust. vacuum

0-Be like bitch stop that and sit down

m-babe lift the couch for me >:V

0-Massages his feet and kisses his toes

m- Monty just dsklhsdf and blushes hes ticklish slightly

0-Oscar's like if u want a workout, just bend over and I'll help you with a much better one. That doesnt include possible bad cleaning supply smells or toxins. Just nice organic stuff

m- fklshd Oscar is like "Welp time for baby yoga lets go." Monty gets down on the floor on all fours and sticks his butt up in the air. "Yeah I guess this helps." fksldhf

0- Well he meant his dick, but that works too

m- summon the dicco :V and I know you did I think Monty might end up crying during sex though cause hes super emotional lmao "Babe can we just snuggle.. Im sorry" sniffle

0- hed kiss him a lot and hold his hands "We can absolutely snuggle" Rub his tummy His dick can wait Like shhh it's ok, I can get off later, I just wanna smooch u and make u feel loved

m-hlkfhg Monty keeps pushing his plump lil ass against Oscar's hips like "plz fuck my thighs"

0-WELL ITS HARD TO REFUSE IF U DO THAT MONTY

m-dslkfh do it oscar stick your dick between those plump thighs meng give him a good ol squeeze.

o-Fine but hope montys prepared to have him panting and groaning curses against his neck

m-klshdf Monty is super blushy and still got tears from crying before but now hes fucking aroused and shit might fucking nut just from the rubbing

o-Hell yeah, dick rubbing over his puss Nuts all over his thighs and tummy

m-Monty is all panting and just gives him sloppy kisses clinging onto him "Thanks babe I feel a lot better now." nuzzles his face. - theeeen starts crying again "I love you so much." -sobs

o-Hfgdgdxvhfhg oscar just peppers kisses all over him and tells him how sweet and perfect he is

m-Monty turns and snuggles into Oscar touching him all over and cuddling up to him. Then probably just falls asleep against him afterwords tuckered out from stress -------end