#also so sorry but i probably won't be drawing them much this year too

[fangbanger3000]

*✧･ 2024 blorbo awards *✧･

my love and light @forget-me-maybe tagged me in this and it's so fun and who doesn't want to talk about the blorbos? + my own categories, just for fun.

i'd like to invite @lizziemajestic and @faetouchedfool and @kimberbohwrites to the ball! if you want to, of course. i could sit in a circle with all of you and scream about these characters all day.

blorbo of the year (+ villain of the year)

solas, dragon age: inquisition/veilguard. i know, i know. we're all shocked. my moots and irls all pray for the day i get over him so i can talk about literally anything else, send them art of anyone else, and act deranged about anyone else. since i picked up dragon age for the first time this summer, he has been on my mind to the point of psychotic obsession. love u pookie also he was right sorry world

bastard of the year

aradin beno jr., baldur's gate 3. oh brother this guy STINKS. he is perhaps my favourite wet, angry dog and he has been my first ever 5-minutes-of-screentime-and-never-left-my-mind. there is so much potential hiding behind those sad brown eyes in that angry pretty face. i especially enjoy him when he's being fucked by older men who don't give a shit about him (or do they?), kudos to @graysparrowao3.

aradin also brought me the beno babes, the sweetest group of equally feral people i have ever met and with whom @lizziemajestic and i have created a wonderful online space with. and of course he has brought me lizzie, who truly is the brightest star in my sky.

tear jerk(er) of the year

astarion ancunín, baldur's gate 3. yeah, yeah. fork found in kitchen. if i think about him too much or look at him for too long i start gagging on nothing and tearing up. solas may have won the battle this year, but astarion has won the war forever. he was the first fictional character i ever experienced this level of obsession with, and he singlehandedly caused me to pursue fandom spaces and got me back into writing fan fiction. my one true love i fear.

kiss of the year

solas' fade kiss, dragon age: inquisition. i actually screamed and almost threw up when i saw this. i think about it several times a day every single day. the head turn, the immediate open mouth, the shaking of the head like he just cannot help himself, the fact that they didn't bother to animate his hands correctly and yet still made sure to animate him making her grind on his thigh. i will never be over this or normal about it.

sex scene of the year

lucanis dellamorte, dragon age: veilguard. RAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH lucanis was my first da:v romance and i've made several attempts at romancing the others, but i keep coming back. this scene was so beautiful and so sexy and full of so many delightful implications oh my GODDDDDDDAAAAAAMMMMMNNNNNNNN RAAAAAAAAAAH I'LL NEVER BE OKAY AGAIN

oc(s) of the year

inquisitor lavellan, dragon age: inquisition/veilguard. and theus. my moots know better than to ask me about theus bc i genuinely cannot stop once i start, so i won't. just know that he is my son and i love him. my inky will probably one of my favourite player characters of all time and i draw/think/write about her every fucking day bro.

[blessedbucky]

we tried the world, good god, it wasn't for us! (part 5.2)

pairing: autistic!satoru x suguru x autistic!reader

word count: 10.4k (relatively mild if i do say so myself)

summary: "suguru won't hurt me."

tags: autistic!reader, autistic!satoru, canon-typical violence, the blood and gore associated with jjk, introducing the shitty and creepy zen'in clan, it's ANGST, like hurt/no comfort level here

beautiful people who asked to be tagged 💕: @ichikanu, @iceheartsice, @anders-is-being-a-simp-again, @lexlibrary

author note: PREMATURE DEATH ARC BABY, this is gonna fucking HURT. also i've got a cute lil' banner that i made that i'm trying to use to create a story masterpost but old lady is having issues formatting on shitty tumblr. stay tuned for new looks hopefully.

chapter links: 1, 2, 3, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, AO3

[YEAR THREE]

[PART TWO]

“You look tired, Senpai.”

The voice that breaks the silence of dawn is such a shock that the speed in which you snap your head up and to the side puts a crick in your neck. “Yu?” You subtly clutch at your neck, digging your fingers into the sore spot but feigning rubbing it as to not insult him because you expected Kento to be here, not him. “What has you up so early? You don’t train until a little later, don’t you?”

He blinks owlishly. “You really pay attention to the small things, it’s amazing.”

“Oh. Just like drawing and cursed spirits are my thing, I know martial arts are yours. You’re my friend and I try to remember the things they love.”

Yu perks up, grinning brightly. The morning light is still soft, but you could use your sunglasses right about now when it comes to Yu’s thousand-watt smile. “We’re friends, Senpai?”

“I’d like to think so. You let me use your given name.” You hesitate, suddenly struck by self-consciousness. “Am I wrong?”

“No! I mean, if you consider me a friend then I consider you one, too! I just didn’t want to assume. Who doesn’t dream of being friends with their cool upperclassmen?”

You chuckle softly. “Isn’t Suguru the cool one?”

“You’re cool, too!” You raise a skeptical brow. He rubs the back of his neck, sheepish. “Okay, Geto is cooler, but you’re the nicest! Don’t tell Ieiri, though, please!” You won’t betray your junior like that, but Shoko definitely would probably appreciate that assessment. “I’d love to be casual enough with everyone to be on given name basis.”

“You definitely could. Suguru, Satoru, and Shoko don’t care about that kind of thing. If they were easily offended, they wouldn’t stick around people as rude as Satoru and I are,” you explain with a little smile.

He drops down next to you on the bench, looking thoughtful. “Maybe when Nanamin and I graduate, I’ll feel comfortable enough to be that familiar with them.” He sighs too loudly to not be dramatic. “I was worried about taking over for Nanamin on this because I know they can look down on people with no sorcery in their family, but I don’t know why I was. I swear that your power works on humans, too. You’re so calming, y’know?”

It was meant to be a joke, you know, but there’s still a brief moment of pure panic. You haven’t been doing that, have you? It’s a question you ask yourself before quickly answering with a resolute no. Definitely not. Just trying to sense someone’s emotions, as unintentional as it was with Satoru, had you struggling. Controlling someone against their will had you on the verge of death with a brain bleed. You’re terrified by how fast your technique is evolving, yes, but it’s not there. Nowhere near there. You doubt it will ever be to the point where you’re passively influencing people.

“I just want to do my best to help,” you confess. Even if it feels like you’re not doing much of that these days.

“So do I!” Yu declares so enthusiastically and loudly that it echoes. He winces at his own volume and flushes. “Sorry,” he quickly apologizes, but you wave it off. You’re used to loud voices because of Satoru. “But y’know, you ignored me when I said that you look really tired.”

Well, you didn’t mean to, but you’re uncomfortable that he’s bringing it back up. “Don’t worry about me. I haven’t been sleeping the greatest, but I’ll be fine.”

“Hmm, are you sure about that?” Suddenly, he becomes uncharacteristically serious. “I know this is hard work. We see the worst of the world. You and me, we understand that our friends can get lost in all that darkness, so we try to stay bright for them. But we can’t do that if we don’t take care of ourselves.” He smiles, then. Softly and fondly. “My mom understood that when I said I wanted to enroll in school here. She wants to hear about my day, no matter how bad what I see is. She wants to help me carry the burden.”

“It’s hard to believe there are non-sorcerer parents who believe in cursed spirits,” you mumble more to yourself than him. “You have an amazing mother, Yu. I’m jealous.”

He preens, as he should. “My dad listens, too!” He blinks, laughs nervously, and then tries to humble himself quickly after. “It took them a while to accept it, though. But when both your children can see these invisible things, it becomes a little harder to deny. I think they still were kinda in denial until Sensei came and confirmed it all.”

“Still…the fact that they’re willing to hear the details…”

“My mom told me that she tells herself that it’s like I’m going to school to become a medical examiner. Eh, my dad was a real delinquent in high school before he got his act together. He was in a gang. It’s not as bad as what I see, but he can handle the nastier things that I can’t hold in anymore.”

As the manager pulls up to the curb, here to pick you both up for the trip to the Zen’in compound, Yu passes you one of the three onigiri he brought with him. He stands up, interrupting your incoming protest, and grins down at you. “Don’t worry! I know you forget to eat in the mornings a lot, so I made an extra! Just like I know you’re tired but won’t lean on my shoulder unless I say it’s okay!”

One day, you hope that you can meet Yu’s parents, only to tell them how great a job they did in raising a son.

As you’ve come to learn about these long-established clans, they meet you with open hostility. To them, you are not only an outsider, but an extension of headquarters’ will. Despite the fact that there is a Kamo and Zen’in on the council, they are bound by Tengen’s authority. Gakuganji confirmed, after reprimanding you on your manners with the Kamo, that Tengen was the one who wanted to test your abilities. At some point, when you’re done with the Zen’in, he’ll want to meet with you. It’s a terrifying prospect.

Anyway, the leader of the Zen’in clan is not the higher-up that you’d been speaking with. The man that briefly shows his face to you and Yu is graying, has an insanely weirdly styled mustache, and holds a gourd while stinking of alcohol. He passes out as soon as he sprawls out across from you two. Yu is the one to go try and find someone to talk to since the leader—Naobito, the manager told you—is snoring away.

Two people soon walk into the room, followed by Yu. You’ve never seen Yu have to force a smile before, but there’s a first time for everything. You’ve always been under the belief that Yu is an excellent judge of character, so when he finds it hard to like someone, your hackles are immediately raised. Then again, the horror stories that you’ve heard about this clan, you didn’t really need Yu’s opinion, anyway.

A middle-aged man briefly glances at Naobito with a disgusted curl of the lip before turning his terrifying gaze on you. The sclera of his eyes is pitch black. You refuse to even try to make eye contact. They’d probably appreciate that, anyway, since they think a woman’s place is beneath a man. The other person with him is someone that’s actually close to your age. His hair is dyed blonde at the top of his head while his roots are a dark, dark green.

“I am Zen’in Ogi, younger brother of Naobito,” the older man introduces with no small amount of loathing. “Naoya—”

The one that’s your age—Naoya—hasn’t stopped moving toward you. When he’s directly in front of you, he tilts his head to the side, scrutinizing you. “You should smile more.”

You tilt to the side, focusing on Ogi. “Thank you for hosting us.”

“Oi.” Naoya nudges you with his tabi. It takes everything in you not to lash out or flinch away. You know a bully when you see one and they revel in seeing that their antics are affecting their target. “I’m next in line for head of the clan, y’know. You should be talking to me about this stuff.”

“You’re not of age yet.” You are a child, you’re silently saying. This is an assumption, of course, but Satoru did mention there being someone in the Zen’in clan that bothers him at the annual Big Three meetup. It’s supposedly to keep the peace, but it’s just a way to show off the next generation’s strength, Satoru says. A pissing contest. “You’re more than welcome to sit and listen as I speak with Mister Ogi.”

“You don’t need to be such a bitch,” Naoya scolds haughtily. “Especially when I’ll be the one escorting you around.”

You haven’t looked away from Ogi. You watch his cheek twitch, as if he’s holding back from laughing. Clan dynamics are just so…odd. To enjoy the embarrassment of another simply because you’re not next in line. Maybe you should’ve simply smiled and played along because Ogi will probably stick Naoya with you to keep up the flustering of his nephew.

Trying to dodge a day with this spoiled brat, you politely inform Ogi, “I would be more than happy to wait if you’re both too busy.”

“Seeing as Naobito is…indisposed—” is that what they’re calling being blackout drunk? “We have nothing pressing anymore, so Naoya can see to you. It would do him good to revisit our cursed object collection seeing as it’ll be his to worry about when he’s clan head.” Ogi pulls something out of his yukata. A key. “Naoya, keep them away from the Disciplinary Pit. You’re responsible for their safety. We can’t have any incidents potentially impacting our seat at headquarters.”

Naoya scoffs unhappily.

It might be the only time that you’ll ever agree with this brat.

Zen’in Naoya is insistent on pestering you.

To your great misfortune, no one educated Naoya on the purpose of your visit. So, he uses that as an opening to throw question after question at you while peppering in his annoying commentary. As much as you care for Yu, if he asks to go to lunch after this, you might actually cry. You’ve been here a little over an hour and have a headache. You’re teetering on the verge of losing your temper and getting yourself in trouble.

“Why are a couple of students here, anyway?”

“To examine the seals of your cursed objects and strengthen them if they’re too weak.”

“What? Are you training to be one of those managers or whatever?” Naoya laughs obnoxiously. “Gross.”

“I’m a sorcerer,” you correct.

“One of the strongest at school!” Yu adds on your behalf.

Naoya, in front of you both as he leads you across the compound, glances over his shoulder to eye you skeptically. If their clan looks down so harshly on women, it wouldn’t be that far a stretch to assume that he doesn’t think your capable of strength. “What kind of technique do you have?”

“Pacification and control, to an extent,” you answer.

He raises a brow. “Like that Geto guy that got assigned Special Grade with Gojo?”

The mention of Satoru and Suguru makes you bristle, of course. It’s a protective instinct, you guess. “No. I can hide myself from cursed spirits. I keep them calm. If they’re weak enough, I can suggest things to them.” Before he can ask, you go ahead and answer what you expect his next question will be. “Headquarters considers me an expert on cursed spirits. They thought it would be beneficial for me to also learn about seals. I’m here on their orders.”

“Sounds like you’re a knockoff of that Geto kid, then.”

The jab has you gritting your teeth.

You have to admit, that’s a new insult. People have accused you of holding him back, being an annoying burr in his side that just won’t leave. No one has ever said that you’re a weaker version of him, though. You’re not sure why it’s slowly starting to get under your skin. Maybe it’s an insult to your usefulness—something that you’re already incredibly insecure about. And you hate that you’re genuinely thinking about this now.

“Are we almost there?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Naoya is, blessedly, silent for the rest of the trek. You reach the end of the dark staircase that you assumed was to take you underground. It’s a large stone chamber with tile flooring. As soon as you step fully into the room, a massive wave of cursed energy washes over you. Yu freezes, breath hitching, eyes widening. It’s not that intimidating, is it? There’s quite the number of spirits somewhere down here, yes, but they’re all Grade 2 or lower.

You’re honestly more irritated than anything by the sheer arrogance and stupidity of this clan. “You have cursed objects…near all these cursed spirits?” The chamber diverges. Ahead, there is a giant room that has ropes across the opening. Ropes, you note, that have weak seals attached to them.

Naoya waves you off. “They won’t break through that seal.”

“Having cursed objects so close only makes them more agitated,” you educate, though you know that he’s probably already aware of that fact. “The more agitated they are, the more they batter against that barrier and weaken it. Why do you even have spirits on your compound?”

He sticks a finger in his ear, as if your nagging is nothing but an itch in his ear. “Didn’t you hear my uncle? It’s a pit for training and discipline. We like agitating them, obviously. That makes the pit more effective.”

The Kamo and Gojo had their own collection of spirits. Most people from the clans aren’t like Satoru. Homeschooling in Japan isn’t allowed until high school, so there’s a special private school that’s in the know of jujutsu and works with the headquarters and the government. That school in Kyoto is where most children of the clans go until high school where they head back to their clans to be trained intensely.

Still, the spirits that the Kamo and Gojo had weren’t nearly as strong. Satoru said that the people in his clan go out in the field to find the strong spirits because they understand that there are vulnerable people on their compounds. How they feel about those vulnerable people might horrify you, but they aren’t actively putting the lives of everyone in their compounds in danger every single second like the Zen’in clan is.

What the hell is wrong with these people?

“I’ll be reinforcing those seals, too,” you force out through gritted teeth.

Naoya simply shrugs before heading in the opposite direction of the pit where there’s a hall. At the end of it is a massive door, a bunch of seals lining the door that’s locked with a basic chain and padlock. Is jujutsu society built on nothing but a crumbling infrastructure? Are they all so arrogant and complacent that they assume it’ll all be fine until it’s just not anymore? Then again, why wouldn’t they be when they have bodies to throw at their problems?

What are you even doing here anymore?

Increasingly more and more, you wonder what would’ve happened to you if you stayed behind in the village. Who knows how long you’d be under the thumb of your overprotective yet distant mother and bitter father. You’d fumble your way through some job in the town or a nearby one, too poor for college and probably getting talked out of it by your mother, anyway. Which would be a better life? It seems like both paths leads to you being a simple cog in a broken machine.

“Here, Senpai,” Yu whispers as he passes you the cage with the fly heads. “I think it might be better for me to wait outside.”

“No.” You glare at Naoya. “It’s safer to be in here.”

Naoya rolls his eyes. “Calm down. It’s not that big a deal. Besides, if you were a competent sorcerer, you could easily handle all those spirits by yourself.”

“Would you like to keep watch, then?”

He sniffs. “No thanks. I want to see what you can do.”

“I work better in silence.”

Naoya smiles beatifically. “I’ll be as quiet as a mouse.”

Seeing as this is his home, there’s nothing you can do about his presence. This is seriously throwing off the routine you’ve created with this assignment which only aggravates you further. But you move your focus to watching the fly heads, gauging their reactions as you walk amongst the shelves, holding the cage to each object. You’re even irritated with the fly heads, impatient at their slow reaction times when you already know which seals are weakest.

Naoya, shockingly, is relatively quiet. But, because he’s insistent on being a pest, he hangs over your shoulder. Yu is a good friend, knowing how you work, and stands back by the door. There aren’t many objects that require a fresh seal—less than the Kamo and Gojo which is as much credit as you’ll give this clan. If you had to guess as to why that is, they have more people in their clan so there are more people to assign this task. After all, this is a super traditional clan that believes in…sowing their oats as much as humanly possible.

The biggest task today will be that rope along the pit. If you’re honest, you want to be stubborn and ignore it. You don’t want to fuel this barbaric practice. If you don’t, though, the seal will continue to degrade. Your pettiness could cost many lives if these spirits ever escaped. You could leave it to the clan. Write a scathing review of what you saw. You doubt the higher-ups will do much about it, though. The Zen’in would probably call it an exercise and just let it break.

“Mind if I give you a piece of advice?” Naoya drawls as you’re scribbling some notes for your final report to hand in to the higher-ups. You ignore him because he’ll give you his advice whether you want it or not. Some people just love the sound of their own voice. “If you want a man, you need to smile more.” You pointedly deepen your frown. Yu hides his laugh behind a cough. Naoya flushes in chagrin. “What’s your problem with me, huh? I’m trying to give you advice.”

“Marriage is not a priority for me. I’m too young for that.”

“Oh, c’mon. Marriage is the only thing normal girls are thinking about for all their lives.”

“Yes, because sorcerers are such normal people.” You can’t help the sarcasm now. Your patience has finally been pushed to the limit. “So, again, that is not a priority for me right now or in the foreseeable future.”

He hums. “Maybe you should think harder about it. You never know when an offer for marriage might come your way. You’re sort of plain, sure, and you definitely have no pedigree. Still, you have a decent ability. Like I said, Geto Suguru knockoff. Our clan is always looking for fresh talent to be passed along to the next generation when it comes to women.”

The thought of marrying into this clan makes you gag. You do it right in front of Naoya’s face, unable to control yourself, and he sputters in outrage. Yu immediately leaps into action, putting himself between you and Naoya.

With his back to you, he faces Naoya with squared shoulders and a voice that’s low and dangerous. “Stop criticizing my senpai.”

Naoya’s feet spread slightly, as if preparing to take a battle stance. “Oh? What are you gonna do about it, peasant?” Peasant? A lame insult. Are you in the Heian era or what? “You look like you’ve got nothing going on in that head of yours, so let me lay it out for you and your senpai in simple terms. It’s the highest honor to even be a consideration in the running of the next Zen’in clan head’s wife.”

Him? Naoya was suggesting a proposal from him? Oh, you feel nauseous. You feel so disturbed that the fly heads fluttering around in the cage come to a dead stop and watch you intently, having been unintentionally put under your influence. Right. So, you should calm down. Seems like an enormous task at the moment. Just a little longer, you desperately remind yourself. You’ll say your piece to Naoya and move on.

You gently nudge Yu out of the way so that Naoya can see the radiance and superiority in your smile. Suguru would be proud if he saw it. “I was under the impression that the jujutsu world prized strength above all else. Was that wrong?” You tilt your head, mocking in your curiosity. “There would be more honor in being Gojo Satoru’s whore than there would ever be in becoming the wife of a Zen’in.”

It has the desired effect. You imagine that heads and heirs of the Kamo and Zen’in clans have quite the complex when it comes to Satoru who, for all intents and purposes, carries the Gojo clan on his back. One could argue the entire jujutsu world, but that’s a conversation for another time.

Naoya, with his face red and twisted into an ugly snarl and ears practically blowing steam, is interrupted before he can start throwing a temper tantrum.

A scream.

No, two of them.

Both you and Yu are on the move immediately, leaving behind Naoya’s shouted, “Oi!”

There are children down here. Two little girls from the sound of it. You can hear them begging for their father. Even worse, they must be non-sorcerer children because you only feel the muted presence of all those cursed spirits in the pit, Yu, Naoya, and someone else. It’s that man, Ogi. Thank goodness that someone has a heart or some sense, at least. He must be coming to get the children that ran down here. You’ll still rush to help, of course. You can calm the spirits down—

As you break away from the hallway, the horror of what you see sends you to a screeching halt. Yu gasps, visibly shaken and outraged at the same time. Because, ahead of you, is Ogi, yes. But he is not helping the two little girls who slipped down here, no, no. He has each one tucked under his arm, overpowering the twin girls’ frantic struggles to get away from the fucking pit with cursed spirits. They’re screaming and begging for their father…to stop from doing what he’s about to do.

“Stop!” Yu screeches, angrier than you have ever seen him before. Then, ruder than you’ve ever heard him be, he goes on to ask, “What the hell do you think you’re doing, you senile geezer?!”

Ogi doesn’t hesitate. Not even a bit. As soon as he’s at the top of the staircase that leads down to the pit, he roughly tosses both the twins down it, right into the belly of the beast. You move, as deadly serious at the older man, dead set on getting those little girls out of there. Ogi turns to face you, hand reaching for the handle of his katana.

“Stand down,” he barks. “These are my children, and I’ll punish them as I see fit.” He actually takes a stance. Prepared to cut you and Yu down to continue this cruel abuse disguised as parenting. “Strangers will not be allowed to interfere in clan business. The higher-ups won’t protect you.”

You think when you heard my children, that’s when you snapped. It’s a moment of immense pressure in your skull, of ringing in your ears, of blood slipping down from your nose across the cupid’s bow of your top lip. Maybe the reason that you don’t pass out immediately is because it’s only to make Ogi misstep when he swings his katana at you. It smacks against the tile, the sound reverberating, and you sidestep him to rush into the pit.

It’s too late.

Or maybe you spent too much mental energy on making Ogi stop that you don’t have enough time to reattune your focus to quell the cursed spirits in the pit. The weaker spirits hesitate, but there’s one—Grade 2, bordering on Grade 1. It raises an arm, claws poised to slash. Only one of the girls reacts, throwing herself in front of her sister that’s looking around wildly because she must not be able to see the spirits that her sister has barely enough cursed energy to do.

Again, it’s too late to stop the blow, but you make it in time to be the one to take it. You leap at the girls, blanketing their small bodies with yours just as the claws come down. It burns. It burns. And the only reason that you’re conscious, that you’re alive is because Yu was right behind you and managed to knock the spirit off balance enough to weaken the blow.

Your body, uncaring of limits when it’s now on the brink of death, finds the energy to send a surge of cursed energy throughout the room. Every single spirit, even the one with blood dripping from its claws, is lulled to stillness by your pacification. Kill yourself, your body screams.

“Cover…” Your nails scrape against the tile before you clench your fists. “Cover…your…your ears,” you shakily demand of the girl that can see the cursed spirits.

Children shouldn’t have to hear the gore that’s about to ensue.

Slowly, you float back to consciousness while wondering when you even passed out.

You’re kind of surprised that you’re even awake right now. Because you’re sprawled out on your belly on a futon, naked down to your waist but not all that exposed since bandages are wrapped all around your upper torso. Your stomach and breasts are sore, an indication that you’ve been in this position for a long time now. Still, as uncaring about your comfort as they were, the Zen’in didn’t let you die.

Ha. So much for that old man’s warning that you wouldn’t be protected.

Then again, maybe the Zen’in don’t want to deal with the rage of Gojo Satoru.

Speaking of rage…

“Suguru,” you hoarsely call out to the dark presence that you sense looming in the corner of the room. Just a tilt to the side has pain racing across your body, so you can’t turn to see where he’s at, but you feel him. His cursed energy is burning. “Stop with that. You’ll scare everyone.”

“It’s the least they deserve,” Suguru spits.

With how furious he feels and sounds, you expect him to stay where he is. Brooding. But he doesn’t. You hear the shift of fabric before the soft padding of his feet against the tatami. He does look the picture of rage with his eyes, burning bright. His jaw is clenched, along with his fists that he puts on his thighs when he kneels down next to you. If someone other than you were here, it might be intimidating.

It is you, though, and it’s all undermined with Tamamo-no-Mae floating behind him. Her cursed energy is familiar, almost like a comfort now. He’s had her since that field trip to Osorezan. When one of her fox tails flops down from underneath her jūnihitoe, she strokes your cheek with it, and you giggle. And, like always, fox hair gets in your mouth.

“Put her away. Her toes gross me out,” you breathe out, trying to bring some levity to the situation before you start trying to spit out the fox hair without moving your hand. You think it’ll hurt too much to move your arms. “I can’t believe you pulled out a Special Grade for the Zen’in.”

“I don’t trust them.” Finally, his expression softens when his gaze drops down to you. He reaches down to put his hand on the side of your face. “How are you?”

“Hurts,” you admit.

“I know,” he croons sympathetically as he strokes your cheek. “Of all the times for Shoko to be away,” he sighs. “She won’t be here until the day after tomorrow. Satoru threatened to end the mission early, but Shoko talked him out of it. She spoke with the Zen’in that treated you. If you had a brain bleed, you’d already be dead. I sent her some photos of your back, too. You’ll be okay to wait. There’s just going to be scarring.”

“As if I care about that,” you mumble tiredly as your eyes slip close. “Can we go home?”

“Of course.” Suguru hunches over to press a kiss against your forehead. You don’t have it in you to be shy. “I’ll try not to have the spirit move you too much, but I’m sorry in advanced if it hurts you.”

“‘s okay. Sorry for the trouble.”

“Rest now.”

Somehow, you manage not to cry from the pain, but it’s a definite struggle. The worst part is when you arrive at the barrier around campus and Suguru has to carry you in his arms from there. Thankfully, the barrier is right at the top of the staircase, so you’re not jostled as much on the back of a manta ray as you would’ve been if Suguru carried you all the way up them. By the time he makes it to your room, though, your stitches have re-opened.

“You’re going to take a shower with me?” Now you have a little more mental energy to feel flustered.

Suguru is kneeled down in front of you, having carried you to the locker room where he’s now slipping your shoes off. “I know you. The blood dried on your back is bothering you, isn’t it? You’re not going to be able to sleep with it on your skin.” You look away, trying not to pout because he’s totally right and you kind of hate it. Above all else, it makes you feel special, but you also hate it. “We’ve had sex before,” he reminds you. “If you’re really uncomfortable with it then we can wait for Shoko.”

“No, I don’t want to wait for her.” Your cheeks puff out, so, yeah, you’re definitely pouting now. “I…us showering together…it doesn’t bother me that much. It’s just…I hate putting you out. You…you don’t have to dote on me like…this…” You motion to where his hands are curled around the waistband of your leggings. Despite your protest, you still lift your hips up to let him slide your leggings off. “I bet you didn’t do this with Satoru.”

“I did take care of him as much as he’d let me, actually.” Oh. “And I washed his back, too.” Suguru chuckles softly. “In all our years together, has it ever crossed your mind that I like taking care of you?”

No, honestly. That thought has never crossed your mind. “Help me undress,” you mumble embarrassedly. “Jeez, you didn’t need to lay it on so thick. I get it, I get it.”

“It’s cute when you get all shy,” he teases. “You act exactly like Satoru did.”

“Guess you have a type then,” you grouse.

He laughs at that. An actual laugh. And his face is soft, welcoming. “I guess I do, don’t I?”

Suguru had the hindsight to put you in his blazer before you left the Zen’in compound. It’s easy to take off without aggravating your stitches further. But there’s no stopping the sting of the water hitting the slashes across your back. Suguru rubs your shoulder soothingly as you try to force your body to relax. Everything is sore. The antiseptic meant to numb the area that the Zen’in medic was magnanimous enough to give you has faded. You duck your head, focusing on the water at your feet that slowly bleeds to pink to try and forget the pain.

Gently, Suguru starts to wash your back, exactly like he said he would. There’s no getting around the fact that the cloth will brush against your tender stitches. You grit your teeth in preparation and clutch at his hand still on your shoulder. As he gets to work, he starts up a conversation because he understands that keeping your mind off things will help.

“Will you tell me what happened?”

“Yu didn’t say?”

“No. Sensei pulled him in to talk with Gakuganji and some of the Zen’in. I think they went back to school ahead of us. The clans can pretend they’re better than the rest of us, but they still answer to headquarters. So, there might be some trouble for the Zen’in since you were technically there on orders.”

“Good.” He hums in question at your scathing remark. “They have a pit, you know. It’s filled with cursed spirits. The one that hurt me was nearly a Grade 1. They call it the Disciplinary Pit. I knew they were traditional but that…that’s barbaric.” The other hand that isn’t clutching Suguru is balled into a fist at your side. “And what was that old bastard going to do? He was going to throw children in there. They couldn’t have been more than…I don’t know. Six? And…and they were non-sorcerers!”

Suguru’s hand stops suddenly. The one gripping your shoulder goes unbearably tight. Against your back, you feel the other curl into a ball. “Non-sorcerers did this to you?”

Your brows furrow. Putting the pain aside, you look over your shoulder, utterly confused about where he got that idea from. “Did you space out just now or…?” Why does he look almost as angry as he did in the Zen’in compound? “Are you okay?” Why do you feel so…uneasy right now? “I said that old man—”

“Were those his children?”

“Yes? I don’t know what that has to do with anything, though. Did you not hear me when I said the pit was full of cursed spirits?”

“I heard, but…” He takes a deep breath, exhales, in that way he does when he’s trying to quell his temper. “Are you sure you didn’t overreact? I doubt he would’ve let them get hurt. You’re making it sound like he was just disciplining his children—”

“Overreacting,” you repeat blankly.

He sighs your name, irritated again. “Stop it. I can already tell you’re taking it the wrong way. We know how you are—”

Slowly, you force Suguru’s hand away from your shoulder, continuing to stare at him like he’s grown another head. He may as well have. You turn around, hoping that he’ll backtrack in the time it takes you to face him, but he seems to mentally double down because he squares his jaw when your eyes meet his. There’s…an energy festering around him. You don’t like it. It’s so angry.

But you are as equally angry, so you don’t try to appease him. You don’t try to calm things down. Instead, you lash out, seeking to antagonize. “Am I speaking a different language right now?”

Suguru picks up on your hostility, his own hackles raising once again. “You acted rashly. You almost died…and for what? Did you even ask what they did?”

This conversation has been slipping under your skin, touching a nerve that makes it hard to ignore. You don’t understand why until you unthinkingly snap, “Should I have asked your parents what you did before I went to the teachers about your bruises?”

He barks out a laugh. Dark. Nasty. Bitter. “Maybe you should have. Maybe then my arm wouldn’t have gotten broken because of you.”

The words are worse than a gut punch. Worse than how it felt when that curse’s claws sunk into your skin. You knew. In the back of your mind, logically, you knew that the social worker was called because of you and the broken arm he showed up at school with was because of you, too. But…the hurt of him saying that is so visceral.

Still, you must not look hurt enough because Suguru keeps going. “Are you ever going to stop and think before trying to help someone? Haven’t you hurt enough people?”

Dread, ice cold, rushes through your veins, dousing the fire of anger. You’re panicked by the things welling up inside the center of your chest. You blurt, “Leave.”

Suguru shakes his head. He sighs, the edge leaving his features. How dare he look so sympathetic. Like…like he pities you for not having figured this truth out sooner. Just more salt rubbed on this wound he dealt. For a moment, you’re reminded of your mother and the pity she has for her simple daughter. This is not your Suguru. Not anymore. You don’t know who this is and that scares you.

He reaches out a hand, whispering your name, but you flinch away.

“Leave!”  

The order is screeched so loud that your voice cracks. It’s a volume that you didn’t think yourself capable of, let alone Suguru having heard out of you before. The noise startles him, and he jerks away. The two of you stare at each other, confused about the strangers you’ve become. You’re both shaken.

Suguru tries again, blinking the confusion away as he repeats your name and reaches out.

Trying to hide away from him, you try to cover yourself while backing away. You latch onto that demand because it’s all you can do. “Leave!” You don’t want him to see you collapse in on yourself. He won’t bring you peace. He’ll only make it worse. You scream again, “Leave!”

Scream and scream and scream…

Until, finally, looking like a wounded animal, he leaves.

It takes a long, long time for you to leave the shower room.

As unsanitary as it is, you’d sat down, butt ass naked, in the middle of the showers, sobbing and trying to calm yourself down. If you could, you’d have curled up right there and gone to sleep, but you gain enough comprehension back to know that would be a stupid idea as your emotions subside.

Still sensitive, still raw, you walk out to the locker room and see your clothes on the bench. The clothes that Suguru picked out for you. Along with the fresh bandages that he was planning to help you with. You’ll have to do that yourself now. Somehow. It pisses you off. Even when you throw the clothes to the floor in anger, you realize that you’re more upset at yourself than him. It isn’t his fault that you’re so helpless.

Halfway to your room, in nothing but your towel, you sense Yu’s cursed energy growing closer. You only have enough time to finish waddling to your room, slam the door behind you, and put on panties and shorts before he’s knocking on your door. The sound has you gritting your teeth in annoyance.

“Senpai,” he calls out through the door. His voice is alarmed. “Senpai, there’s blood on the floor!”

Damn it. “I just pulled at the stitches. It’s okay. I’ll handle it.”

“But…aren’t those stitches on your back? Can you reach them?”

“I’ll manage,” you snarl loudly.

On the other side of the door, there’s a pause. Your anger is getting misplaced. If you don’t calm down, you might lose a friend today. Maybe more than one. Who the fuck knows where you and Suguru stand right now. Fuck, you want to dig your teeth into something and tear. You should not be around another person anymore today.

“Okay! I’m coming in, so please cover up!” Yu warns. The doorknob rattles once before he realizes, “Um. Right. You might not be decent and probably need time to get dressed. Let me know when you’re ready. I won’t leave until you do!”

Oh, well, it seems that his stubbornness has knocked your temper loose. Or you accept that you’re too exhausted to wait him out, so there’s also no use in staying mad. Taking a deep breath, you ready yourself. You grab the chair from your desk, spin it around the opposite way, and sit with your chest against the backrest. You keep your damp towel pressed tight to your chest.

“Go ahead,” you call out to him tiredly.

“Thank you!”

“Why are you thanking me?” You tilt your head forward, knocking it against the edge of the chair. “Sorry for making you clean up my mess.” From the position of your head, you can see the splotches of red on your towel. “Literally,” you add under your breath because you know Yu’s going to offer to clean up all the blood.

Yu shuffles forward. Hearing the clutter coming from the direction of your desk means he’s gathering up the first-aid kit. “How many times have you patched me and Nanamin up? Isn’t it time for me to return the favor?”

“I’m the senpai here.”

“What did we talk about this morning?”

Right. Take care of yourself. Lean on others. Yu doesn’t understand that if you lean too much on someone else, you quickly become a burden. No. You can’t let your mind go there right now. “Didn’t you take care of me enough when you saved my life today?”

“Eh? What are you talking about? I distracted it long enough for you to finish them off. All of them. That geezer’s reaction when they all killed themselves was funny, now that I know you’re safe and can think about it.” You both share a laugh at that asshole, Ogi’s, expense. “They’re sending you on a mission with us,” he admits after a minute of silence.

“Punishment for overstepping?”

Yu doesn’t say it is, but it is. You know how these things go. “Purely research!” Yu tries to soften the blow. “We’ll make sure you don’t lift a finger! You won’t even have to think that hard! We can make it a vacation.” Yeah, right. You’re pretty sure if an auxiliary manager saw you having fun with Yu and Kento, you’d be sent away again on another mission for the penalty of simply enjoying life. “And if you don’t feel like shopping for souvenirs, I’ll do it for you. We won’t tell anyone.”

“Sure, Yu. That sounds good.”

Yu’s voice is so unbearably soft when he whispers, “You need rest, too, Senpai.” His kindness brings tears to your eyes. You’re glad that your head is down so that you can’t embarrass yourself any further today. “I’ll make sure you get some. Just leave it to me, okay?”

“Okay.” Emotion clogs up your throat, but you manage a weak, “Thank you.”

***

[06:55] You didn’t see me before you left.

[06:56] You saw Satoru. Not me.

[06:58] Never mind. I get why.

[07:32] I went too far. I was cruel. I don’t blame you for that. Never have. You were the only person that tried to help me. I’ll never forget that. I’ll always be grateful. What I said was me looking for things to say to hurt you. I almost lost you and didn’t know how to deal with that. It didn’t seem like you cared about your own life. I lashed out.

[09:13] I’m sorry. I’ve been under a lot of stress. I can’t eat or sleep. It’s no excuse. I’m sorry. I’ll say it as much as you need me to. I can’t lose you. I can’t. You’re all I have left.

[11:29] Squid. Please. Say something. Anything. I’m sorry.

[13:10] I know you’re angry. But I’m worried. No one has heard from you. Haibara won’t answer. Neither will Nanami.

[13:11] Just a simple reply. A frowny face. Anything at all. Let me know you’re seeing this.

[14:04] Squid?

[14:05[ Please.

[16:43] Are you safe?

[16:44] Is what I’m hearing true?

[16:45] Be safe. Please. Be safe.

[16:46] I’m on the way.

***

It’s a disgustingly humid September night, technically, but right now, you’re cold.

And all you wanted was to be like them.

Foolishly, you told yourself that if they could take a mission three weeks after they faced death, why couldn’t you? It’s not like you almost died. The two weeks that Sensei pushed for you to have off were generous enough. Besides, you understand it now, how much of a hindrance you actually were when you fought to keep them out of the field.

You need this.

You can’t stand to be alone with your mind.

But you weren’t ready. Just the sight of the small, dilapidated shrine has blood splattering across your memories. You break out into a cold sweat. There’s a war inside your mind. This isn’t like two weeks ago—that’s what you try to remind yourself. Push through it. A shrine doesn’t automatically equal an ubusunagami spirit. Where is Suguru? You’re sick to your stomach. Why did you split up? Have you learned nothing? Are you going to be too late to save a life again?

Stop, you plead to your body. You clench your trembling fists. You have to do this. The world has to spin on. It doesn’t care about a stupid girl who made the wrong call and killed a boy. This work is both your punishment and atonement. You’ll let them keep tugging at the leash around your neck until it’s a noose because that’s what you deserve.

The oppressive weight of the Grade 1’s cursed energy that’s been haunting these woods shifts. With nothing but the moon and some flashlights, it’s easy to follow after the explosion of blue light. You’re dazed over the fact that you missed everything that happened. Was there even a fluctuation? A fight? Is Suguru just that strong that he can absorb a Grade 1 in the dead of night like it’s nothing?

As you break into the clearing where he is, you ask, “You took care of it?” Like the answer isn’t obviously sliding down his throat, glowing eerily through the delicate skin of his neck. “Why didn’t you come find me? I wasn’t far.”

Suguru glances away after it’s swallowed. Not even a wince anymore. “It’s fine.”

This irritates you. Another little thing tonight that he’s done. Reminding you incessantly that you could stay behind with the auxiliary manager, trying to force food down your throat when you’re clearly not hungry, touching the small of your back to guide you, hovering. Now, he does this.

The only reason that you keep your mouth shut is because you know he cares. He’s a good person, like everyone else. They don’t blame you and treat you like glass, like you’re a victim. You pinch the bridge of your nose, trying to breathe. You tell yourself it’s the humidity making your chest tight.

With the other hand, you wave your sketchbook. “Are you serious? It was Grade 1. I’m supposed to record that.”

“I’ll let you sketch it later.”

“It’s pointless now,” you mutter. “Don’t even bother.”

Suguru scoffs. “Okay. You’re welcome, by the way.”

“Recording them doesn’t only mean drawing pretty pictures. I’m supposed to observe their behavior.”

“You can.”

“You know it isn’t the same when they’re under your control.”

Suguru reaches up to press a thumb to his forehead, meaning he’s getting irritated with you. You resist the urge to do the same, instead tapping your foot impatiently. “It’s your first mission back,” he tries to reason. “I’m sure they’ll be understanding. But if they try to hold imperfect notes against you, I’ll take the blame.”

“I don’t want them to take it easy on me!”

He shakes his head, dismissive. “You shouldn’t have come.”

“I’m not broken.”

“Everything about this goddamn system is broken!” Suguru shouts, making you reel back. The two of you watch each other warily. He shakes his head again, squeezes his eyes shut, takes deep breaths. “Let’s…just go. We’ll deal with this later,” he mutters irritably. “Let’s meet with the contact in the village and use their phone to call the manager.”

“Fine.”

Three wide brown eyes stare at you in terror.

There should be four, but one is swollen shut.

That face is too tiny to be so battered.

Suguru speaks where you cannot. “What is this?”

A man and woman were at the door, frantic and desperate to know where you and Suguru had been. Before you’d even had the chance to explain that their problem was taken care of, they practically shoved you and Suguru toward a shed. It was hard to make out what they were trying to say throughout their panicked and angry babbling. You think there was something about some murderers.

From behind you, your contact in the village answers, “What, you ask? These two are responsible for the latest incidents, right?”

Suguru is back to pressing a thumb to his forehead. Emotions are rising. Yours definitely are. Anger is putting a tremble in your hands again and your head is throbbing. You’re trying to find your voice past the lump in your throat. What the fuck is this? Does no one fucking visit these places before sending a sorcerer out?! A sorcerer wasn’t the only person needed here! A goddamn police officer was!

“No, they’re not,” Suguru answers more calmly than you can.

The man insists, “These two are crazy! They used their mysterious powers to attack the villagers!”

Something about the girls shifting, huddling closer to each other, finally snaps you into action. Full of rage, you shove past the woman to grab the set of keys that you saw near the door. “If you psychos even gave us the chance to talk, you’d know that we got rid of the problem already!”

The couple starts to sputter in outrage, seeing your clear plan to release these girls. Suguru remains unmoving, big body enough of a deterrent to keep the non-sorcerers from lashing out. So, the woman claws at your wrist. “My granddaughter was nearly killed by these two!”

One of the little girls, the one with dirty blonde hair, tries to protest, “That’s because she—”

“Shut up, you monsters!” Out of the corner of your eye, the shadows shift unnaturally. In the flickering of the flame, it’s not too noticeable. Suguru’s shadow raises a hand, pointing, and from the end of that finger comes a little spirit. “Your parents were just as bad,” the woman continues to rave. “I knew we should have killed you when you two were babies!”

It’s okay, Suguru commands the little spirit to whisper. He’s trying to reassure the little girls, to let them know that you’re all one in the same, that they’ll be safe with you. Adrenaline is rushing through your veins. There is a primal instinct to get these girls out of this place. You are all in danger here.

Blocking the entrance of the cell with your body, with every fiber of your being, you swear to the couple, “If you ever try to hurt these children again, I will kill you.” If Suguru will be gentle, then you will flash your teeth. It’s enough to send the man and woman stumbling back. “We’re leaving. If you try to stop us, I will kill you. Do you understand?”

No response. They just book it.

As soon as they’re out the door, you’re a flurry of movement. You tear off your hoodie and snatch Suguru’s blazer from where it’d slipped out of his grasp from the shock. You collapse to your knees in front of the girls, resisting the urge to touch them and check for injuries before you introduce yourself.

“We’re like you,” you explain as gently as you can when you feel so frantic. “We see them. We see you. I’m going to protect you with my life, okay? Are you cold?” They nod fervently. “Put these on. Let me help. Can you walk?” Throughout the process of wrapping them up in something warm, they manage weak affirmations. “Good. Okay. I know the things you’ve been seeing are scary, but Suguru can control them. If you see any of them, don’t be afraid. You never have to be afraid when he’s around.” You look over your shoulder briefly, hoping that directly speaking to him will pull him out of the trance. “Right? Suguru?”

Suguru stares at you blankly, unseeing. Inside him, though, his cursed energy is a frenzy. So big, so uncontrollable that it bleeds out. It’s sharp, like needles pinning down the wings of an insect. You are aggressively thrown back to that day where Satoru rose from the dead, godlike in his power, and how small it made you feel. Prey under the heavy gaze of a predator.

“Suguru is going to protect us all,” you tell yourself and them. High emotions have you sensitive to the cursed energies of others, so that’s why you can feel him so viscerally. It’s scary. You’ve never felt rage like this before—from you or him. It’s the same for you, but you can’t sit here and stew in this. These girls come first now. “Take my hands,” you instruct them as you hold your hands out. “Don’t let go.”

The makeshift prison is, thankfully, on the edge of the village. It wouldn’t be good to parade through the streets. Locking these children up was a collective decision. The faster you can get the fuck out, the better. If you can make it through the woods, to the main road, you can get a signal there, you think. No. No, you’ll just ride the manta ray. You’ll explain everything as soon as you get to Sensei.

“You’re safe now. You don’t have to be scared anymore.” You didn’t realize you were rambling, unconsciously trying to distract them from their fear with your chatter. “There’s a school. Full of people just like us. You’ll get to meet them. There’s my best friend, Shoko. She’ll make you feel better. Her power is to heal. Better than any regular doctor. And there’s our best friend. His name is Satoru. He’s super strong. Just like Suguru. He loves Digimon. He’s got lots of plushies to share with you.”

All these emotions have you feel like you could crawl out of your skin. And Suguru still hasn’t said anything. He’s mechanical in his movements, staying at the back of your little group. As you guide the group, you can pinpoint the opening of rifts, sense the cursed spirits that crawl out. Good. Yes. More protection. Who knows how those monsters are acting right now. They could be rallying the village.

“We’re going to make sure you’re taken care of. You’ll never be in a place like that ever again. I swear, you’re going to be in a place that’s full of love and understanding. Not everyone is like those terrible, terrible people—”

The more protective of the two is the blonde, based solely off that she went with you first. Voice shaking, but trying so hard to be brave, she asks, “They’re not?”

“They are.”

There’s this…snap. So brutal a turn that it hits you like whiplash.

Around you, there is such a sudden stillness that it feels like the very world has its breath held. There’s no veil. But nature senses a storm on the horizon. The eeriness of it is like ice slithering down your spine. You’ve unknowingly come to a stop, slowly turning around to face Suguru. Over his shoulder, a wider rift is opening, and as you stare into the inky darkness, many glowing eyes stare back.

The ground shakes when the Grade 1 clumbers out of the rift. It has to be the one from earlier. The foliage and trees growing on its back are distinct. Along with those eyes. And fangs so long and big that they stick out of the spirit’s mouth. It looms tall, but it doesn’t make you feel near as small as Suguru is right now.

“There are good people,” you protest quietly.

“There are good sorcerers,” he corrects just as lowly. “And where do they end up? In the ground.” Carefully, you nudge the girls further behind you before you step away. This is not a conversation that they need to hear. “When will it be our turn?” Close enough, you see the desperation in his eyes. “How long before it’s your body on a slab?”

“Death is a part of life.” Your fingers seek his out, threading together, trying to comfort him. “And we decided to risk that death coming earlier than everyone else when we left home. We chose to put our lives on the line.”

“But who are we doing this for?!” Suguru yanks his hands away, stretching his arms out, gesturing toward everything. “Animals like these?!”

“There are more good people in this world than bad.”

“If that’s the case, why do curses exist?”

“Suguru, that’s just how things are. It’s the way nature made us.”

“No. Nature made sorcerers better. They made us stronger. Why do we have to put our lives on the line like this for stinking monkeys that keep throwing their shit at us? We hide ourselves away from them, working in the shadows, always being so careful to not disturb their peace of mind, and for what? Is it so they can lock little girls in cages because they’re too scared of the unknown? Or so they can beat me like my fucking father did or constantly belittle and demean you like your parents did all for the sin of not being what they call normal? We don’t deserve this!”

“I know we don’t. No one does.” How can you explain this to him? You understand what he’s saying. Down in your bones, you know where this resentment is coming from. “But while there exists extreme cruelty, there also exists overwhelming kindness. It can’t be all bad. We found happiness, didn’t we?”

“We found it with sorcerers. If we lived in a world where no non-sorcerer existed, there wouldn’t be all this pain!”

“But…that world doesn’t exist. It can’t.”

“Why not?”

You give a sharp, hysterical laugh. “Because you’d have to kill every non-sorcerer living, that’s why. That’s not possible.”

He tilts his head, almost condescending when he sneers, “It’s not?” The cursed spirit behind him gives a rumbling growl, reminding you of its presence, of its threat. Your already racing heart pounds faster as you comprehend his meaning. Surely, he doesn’t mean…

“Suguru, let’s go home,” you plead.

“No.” No? “There is no home for me now. We’ll never be safe or happy until this world is clean. I understand what my true path is now. I know what I need to do now…and I’ll kill anyone that gets in my way.”

The precipice that your world has been standing on the edge of for the last year finally tilts.

Suguru won’t hurt me.

Right now, you’re the only person that can stand close enough to drag him back from the edge. I’ll kill anyone that gets in my way, he threatens, and right now, you believe that. But not me, you know. Therefore, it must be you that saves him. Because he’s falling. He’s going somewhere that you won’t be able to follow. You’re going to lose him. This would be rebirth and this would be death.

Suguru won’t hurt me.

Cursed spirits seem to explode out of him. Too many to count. You know them all. The blossoming promise of an army that the higher-ups were always afraid he could weaponize.

Suguru won’t hurt me.

That Grade 1 shifts. Its maw, hungry for blood, opens wide. It raises an arm, claws sharp and poised at the ready. You know that when it moves, it’s over. The other spirits will follow. This Grade 1 is an extension of Suguru. This is his rage, his loneliness, his agony.

Suguru won’t hurt me.

Eyes, cold and hard as the amethyst they so resemble, stare dead ahead with steel-like resolve. Slowly, he starts to turn his back on you. You have to stop him. You have to keep talking to him. And you reach out a hand to grab at his bicep. Your mouth is in the shape of his mouth. You think…you think that you might say something that sounds like stop.

Suguru won’t hurt me.

Just as your body instinctually knows that you don’t need to pacify his spirits, that he won’t hurt you…his body knows not to hurt you, either…

Suguru won’t hurt me.

…right?

Suguru won’t—

Blood colors your vision. Pain doesn’t even register in your brain. One second, you’re upright, and in the next, the ground is rising up to meet you. Even the resounding thud that your body gives as it slams down does triggers nothing. Sprawled out in the lush green grass, it only really feels numb to you.

No, all your erratic thoughts can seem to focus on is how disgusting this feels. Wet, sticky heat is quickly soaking your white shirt, weighing it down against your skin, making you feel trapped. You might be gasping for air that you can’t seem to get enough of.

Suguru…hurt…

Thoughts are getting scattered in your brain now. The world narrows in, black hedging in at the corner of your vision. You want it off. The shirt. The blood. You stupidly reach a hand up to wipe away the blood. Gore is all you find. Open gaping wounds that start at the crook of your neck and go…you don’t know how far down. You don’t have the strength left to follow the path.

Suguru…hurt…

Oh. There is he above you now. Thank goodness, you think when you see the panic so clear on his face. Emotion…there’s all those emotions that’d been missing. Nothing cold anymore. Thank goodness. His mouth moves. Says your name, maybe. You can’t hear him. You can’t feel it when he presses his hands somewhere on your body, either. Putting pressure on it must not be working. There’s a lot of blood dripping from his hands when he scrambles to pull out his cell phone. Ah. Yeah, your vision is starting to blur. You give up trying to read his lips.

It's a pretty night, all things considered. For as much as you two hated it, it’s beautiful in the countryside. Easier to see the moon and stars. You always tried to reject that reality. After you left for Tokyo, you thought that was it, that you left that all behind for good, that you wouldn’t die in the backwoods.

Guess you were wrong about that.

[spiritofrainbursts]

Back from the Shadow Realm ( A Long Awaited Update)

- Designs not yet finalized -

- Update below the cut -

Good evening to one and all!! Welcome to the first ever Fur & Fun Friday! So in case it weren't already apparent my account recently got banished to the shadow realm as of a result of handing out invites for a Secret Santa I've been helping @head---ache out with ever since offering to help run the project back in December and wound up deactivating as a result because I didn't feel like dealing with Tumblr staff and felt it would be easier to start from scratch again so I could kick off the new page with a long awaited update regarding the future of my work. Hopefully this doesn't happen again so I don't have worry about my content gaining zero traction nor go through the hassle of creating a new account for the up tenth time, ah anxiety ye heartless bitch, but if it does then I'll be sure to get off me ass and bug the help desk next time around.

With that being said the short of it is that ya'll probably won't be seeing any art from me for awhile starting Pride Month at the very latest depending on whether or not I can get some smaller projects such as updating my Dragon, Sonic, and never before seen Poke sona's designs done and out of the way before then. Why? Well for whatever reason, whether it be the insomnia that has plagued me since senior year of highschool or the mental health issues I've unfortunately have had to deal with over the years as a result of unwanted drama, some of which was admittedly on me and too anyone who may have been caught in the crossfire at the time it all happened truly from the bottom of my heart I'm sorry if I said or did anything to hurt you and hope that wherever you are that you're living your best life regardless of whether or not you decide to forgive me for my past actions or not and hey even if you don't than that's ok too, it's no skin off my back, or even certain events from past that have come back to haunt me with a vengeance over the years, something I've only recently come to terms with thanks some personal growth on my end that has allowed me to feel the happiest I've felt in awhile even if I don't have a lot going for me right now, for the past few years now I've had some kind of weird creative burn out that has made it difficult for me to sit down and draw as much as I used to which in turn has caused a severe decline in content on my end. As a result as soon as I complete my previously forementioned projects I shall here by be going on an indefinite hiatus so I may use the time to create a content buffer and get back in the swing of things. Once I do I'll be sure to set up a new side blog to share my work on a semi regular basis again and hopefully when I do I can start bringing in some income in the form of merch as well as potential adopts so if you'd be interested in receiving some prints and/or characters from me then be sure to be on look out for that as well as a couple of secret projects I'm hoping to start production for in the coming months hue hue 😉 Until then however you can at the very least expect to start seeing some written martial from me throughout the course of this year starting with my contribution for Kat's Secret Santa event come Valentines Day so be sure to keep an eye on my Rainburst Studios tag in the near future and be sure to follow me on my new A03 for updates! (Just a heads up that I'll be changing my user back to Spiritofrainbursts on there come Wednesday as I changed my mind last minute lol Also I lied you'll technically be seeing a fic from me before Valentines Day even if it's a reupload of an older one shot I never got a chance to finish, and never will or at least as is, for archival purposes.)

Welp that's all from me folks so if you have any questions feel free to send them my way via the inbox otherwise 🎶 SO LONG AND GOODNIGHT 🎶 cause this girl needs some 🎶 SLEEEPP 🎶 (Yes that was an MCR joke. Deal with it cause I've gotten deep into their music as of late and intend to start making a crap ton of jokes based off their songs alongside some other rockbands and/or rock music I enjoy such as Crush 40 or Carry on my Wayward Son by Kansas.)

[rubikor]

🌟

[kroosluvr]

pleasant dreams

for as many days or years as you may have.

BAD END LONG WINTER AU ANYONE???? (crickets chirping) erm. well

anwyay i hope i scammed at least 1 person out of fluff. whistles cutely

bad end: royal trio try, struggle, and fail to rescue any of the thieves from the delusion, or find the route to the treasure. with maruki's overwhelming hold on the thieves(+confidants) and his staggering security + ability to manipulate the design of his palace at will... (<- i elaborate on this in my shsm fic that i uploaded a while back but maruki tries to psych the three of them out of navigating his palace by hacking at all the infiltration routes they try. and since its just the 3 of them it's pretty easy to block them off) akira goro and sumire do their damnedest but they come up just short

anyway TLDR they just can't crack it and it's over.

in this case, since they don't get to rescue the thieves, they spend even more time together than Usual Long Winter AU. so i feel they're even closer than usual.

on 2/2, they stay in and sleep in, idly talk about anything other than the circumstances that they're in. they waste the day away and then fall into an endless slumber.

in the first page goro & sumire look kinda discontented, but after akira breaks the ice a little, they manage to fall asleep (more) peacefully.

im not gonna lie this treads into like TOO MUCH HOPELESS ANGST for me but also i had the idea listed down in my Royal Trio Ideas List so i had to draw it..eventually... so. (flips through stack of ideas) erm. heyyyy (i also think it turned out MORE SAD when i drew it HKDJSGSKJDW when i just wrote down the idea it was like kinda just silly)

also goro is wearing akira's raglan shirt from pre-p5r!! no reason except i like it and also i want them to share clothes

"never change, goro" hehe. Smile. well he won't have to! i guess!

bc of Longlonglongwinterau sumire is more perceptive of goro and akira. i think she probably also knows the gist of yknow goro's whole past, the whole trying-to-kill-akira thing, etc.

sorry for the scam. if u were scammed.

a little more musings cont'd here

[jeanthebeagle]

Grishaverse/Ketterdam dashboard simulator

🪙 Barrelrat1877 follow

just spilled my drink on a Fierdan's boots and now he's threatening to duel me. Should I call the stadwatch??? I'm lowkey scared.

#guys please help me

10 notes

🐦 Dregsconfessionsofficial follow

SUBMISSION: Last night I was walking around the barrel and I saw dirtyhands petting a dog. Like I'm not even joking, no gloves and all. And it was one of those crusty white ones.

#submission #omg I hope he washes his hands??? # those dogs are so crusty

10,350 notes

🌊 tidesofthecanals follow

Final results from 672 votes

♠️ kvasandass follow

Razorgulls stop sending anon hate to op over a poll challenge, level impossible, no glue no borax.

#i hope they get caught for tax fraud

380 notes

🐝 thislittlelife follow

A drawing my talented daughter made of Sankta Alina. We pray to her each night 🙏🙏🙏

🐾 magic-tricks follow

46.244.29.14

🍄 thekingofravkaishot follow

hello??? Omg. Why would you dox someone just like that??? This is literally putting them in danger. It's just a sweet mother with her child, who posted a drawing. What is wrong with you.

🏵️ krugebythedozen follow

Op admitted to lying like a year ago about how they don't actually have a kid, but took the post down. It's probably a dime lion trying to troll us like they did in mass when sankta alina died. Also, respectfully, shut up. You posts thirst traps and long drawn out texts on how the king of ravka is "babygirl”. Go get help.

47 notes

🤝 theholyhandofghezenofficial follow

To the citizen who spread a highly damaging rumor that we were hosting a petting zoo inside the church, please come to talk to us. You are not in danger, but words will be exchanged. Lots of trouble was caused due to careless behavior.

⚖️ ketterdamfails follow

Womp womp

9,789 notes

🎀 justapigeon follow

Hey guys. Sorry I haven't been able to update my Pekka Rollins x Jan van eck fanfic. I've been searching for my mom for almost a week since she ran away after hearing that you had to get a vaccine for Firepox after the last outbreak. (She believes in praying to the saints.)

248 notes

🍪 eatthemerchs follow

I hate all of you. Why is this website making Kaz Brekker a soft boy when he literally MURDERS PEOPLE. No, he won't cry if you hug him. No he doesn't want to pet your dog. He'll take your eye out.

Stop romanticizing crime, all of you are sick.

(I am TIRED of the dog memes. Brekker is a crime boss. Why would any of you think he'd even care about your dog.)

🐾 magic-tricks follow

Your border collie is nice. But your chihuahua barks too much.

15,370 notes

🦂 northerstaverner follow

literally just saw some tall ass guy with a huge gun, a revolver and the brightest outfit l've ever seen, trot past my window??? In broad daylight??? Like oh my god. It felt like looking at a stork who made a wish he was human. His clothes were purple and green. Who wears that. Like, iconic. But still.

🐰 jeepsteristhebestshot follow

But was he handsome

🦂 northerstaverner follow

He was built like a stork.

🐰 jeepsteristhebestshot follow

But was he handsome???

🦂 northerstaverner follow

I'm not answering that... who is this.

🧁sugarandredribbons follow

Op answer

☁️ theweststavesucksass follow

Op we all want to know

🫵 isthisbarrelbossproblematic follow

OP THIS IS AN URGENT MATTER

🫀dmitrithekerchman follow

OPPPPP

4,750 notes

[gayhorrorsans]

CW alot of swearing, if that triggers you at all

And I'll probably re do this but more professionally when I'm less mad.

-------------

The whole 'I hate sans centered AU's' and 'The fandom was ruined by AU's' pisses me OFF.

Let me explain it to you like you're five.

So, when a character is popular... yes?

People like that character more than others... yes?

So when people make fanart... yes?

They make it of that character more often than others... yes?

Therefore since the character is more popular and more known. The character has more fan works. Therefore has more AU's.

The fact people define this shit too pisses me off. I've seen people call Horrortale and Underfell sans centered AU's. I'm sorry what? If you said Dusttale sure. Something New (Killer Sans), sure I can't exactly argue. But calling Horrortale and especially UNDERFELL sans centered? Wild.

I assure you you will live if an artist wants to make an Au centered around sans. You also forget he's typically a simple character to draw compared to the rest. So beginner artists can attempt him easier. Also he was by far the most popular character in the fandom in its infancy, and still is the most popular. LOOK I GET that some AU's are sans centered. But the way you treat them makes you look pathetic or uneducated.

Put it this way, people often see videos saying 'Sans centered AU's bad' and reply 'I'm working on an Au where <insert really uninteresting thing>' and look this is Fine. Be creative, in fact I encourage it. However there's a reason these sans centered AU's are popular. They're creative. They were also made when the fandom had enormous communities on platforms like amino. AU's SPREAD. Plus, if your AU was just writing, no art, it's heavily likely you would be ignored or your au would fade out quickly. These are the principles of the Internet. To stay relevant you need to produce new media that people can consume quickly. Art or animation.

Popular AU's made recently(ish) so past the initial craze of dreamtale,Dusttale and so on. Undertale Last Breath, IDUTSHANE and so on. They have to utilise new ideas or new takes on pre existing ideas. It's hard to make a new original idea that is both good, and fits in with the dynamic. These aus are only popular for a while, then fade into irrelevancy. I would love to see some new popular AU's, but however if you make them without sans in them, or as a background character, just know it's likely your au won't have much of a chance.

There's an oversupply of sans au content because there's an extreme demand for it. It's like complaining that a store sells too much monster energy drink and not enough red bull, when that store sells maybe 5 cans of red bull a year, and 50 thousand cans of monster a year.

And let's not even mention when an artist makes AU content that isn't sans centered, the same people who complain about it, just focus on the sanses themselves. Xtale is a huge example. Because of recent events it's fair to understand the limelight is on Cross (trans coded). But in general I never see anything on any OTHER Xtale characters, even from people I know hold the opinion that they want less sans centric aus.

Also the AU's in general keel the fandom afloat. Sure mischaracterisation is rife, but at some point we have to acknowledge the reality of it's damn near impossible to fix. Always stand up for what you believe in, but understand some times it's not worth the energy.

I'll probably re do this but more professional at some point. Sorry for being all over the place. I just wanted to post something and I was mad at this.

[mugiwarahostclub]

Some of the one piece men as boyfriends

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤluffy, zoro, sanji, ace, law,ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ shanks, bartolomeo editionㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ female reader ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤone piece world setting

— LUFFY

He'll interact with you the same way he does with his closest friends, but he would probably be careful when he carries you around just like he does with Robin. You'll have to initiate every hugs and kisses, cause he'll only jump on you and hug you first if you two haven't seen each other for a month or more. Over all, I think he'd treat you as a bestfriend rather than a lover, trying to make you laugh, making you the first person he shows random things to, etc.

Y/n: Hi Luffy~ Happy 3rd anniversary!

Luffy: ... Eh? Anniversary?

Y/n: Wh- Luffy, we've been dating for 3 years now...

Luffy: Yosh ! Anniversary ! Let's have Sanji cook *stretches himself to kitchen*

— ZORO

This guy values man codes or whatever, so he'd probably be the type to show affection towards you through actions, not words. Sick? Would quickly find the nearest pharmacy and give the medicine to Chopper. Hungry? Would kill the largest fish present and give it to you, it's up to you to cook it though. Sad? Well, he's not very good at comforting and will just end up telling you about the harsh reality of the world, then give you some wise advice afterwards like most grandpas do.

Y/n: Love you, Zoro

Zoro: Hm *cooly smirks with his eyes closed*

Y/n: ... I love you, Zoro

Zoro: *continues to smirk in a cool way, still staying silent cause he knows that you're aware deep down that he loves you back*

Y/n: Man.. just say it back

— SANJI

Boyfriend material. Would gladly simp and swoon over you. Sanji likes to make every woman feel like a princess though, so he'd still fanboy over girls and treat them well too. He would immediately reassure you after complimenting/serving a girl in front of you. Kissing them is where he'd draw a line. I mean, I would hope so.

Sanji to a random woman: Oh, your hair is just lovely~

Sanji: A-ah..! *quickly stands next to Y/n* Of course! Your hair is very lovely as well, Y/n! Oh~♡⁠ how the faint scent of your welcoming shampoo just wraps me around and— (he goes on for a few minutes)

— ACE

He'd be a supportive and loyal boyfriend, affectionate and would recklessly fight anyone who'll drag your name in the mud. Though he'll tell you a lot of stories about his little brother Luffy even though you didn't ask for them. If Luffy's around, he will probably not spend as much time with you like he'd normally do.

[ Y/n and Ace on a date ]

Ace: and then.. Luffy ran away, so me and Sabo also ran away! Hahahaha!

Y/n: Ahahahaha.. that's sooo funny... (has heard that story a million times already)

— LAW

It'll be hard to communicate with this guy, he's not the type to say what he's feeling at first. Though, as his feelings build up inside of him, he'd just eventually burst it all out soon in an angry manner. He'd probably give you physical affection with a straight face if you asked for it. I think he'd watch over you closely from time to time, walking up behind you just to tell you if something could damage your health. He won't force you to take care of yourself, but he will say 'i told you so' when you later suffer the consequences.

Y/n: *grabs chocolate from the fridge*

Law: *comes up from behind out of nowhere*

Y/n: Wha-? Law??? Where did you-?

Law: Chocolate at midnight is not very good... *walks away*

— SHANKS

I think he'd be a cute and shy boyfriend when he's sober. When he's drunk, maybe he could be a bit more honest with his feelings. Goodluck getting this guy to spend more time with you though, cause he'd probably use him being a captain as an excuse to not give you affection, when really he's just shy. He only tells you that he loves you when he's about to leave.

Y/n: Shanks! Let's go on a date!

Shanks: *blushes* .. oh.. haha, sorry Y/n, captain stuff-

Y/n: What? but you just got here

Shanks: Gotta go! Bye! *is already in a distance* Love you!

— BARTOLOMEO

Your relationship will consist of you, him.. and his unhealthy obsession with the strawhats.

Bartolomeo: Y/n, have you seen my limited edition Luffy figurine?!?!??

Y/n: Honey, it's 2 in the morning.. go back to bed....

Bartolomeo: ITS LIMITED EDITION, Y/N!

ㅤㅤ

[linawritestwst]

HCs for The third-year squad when they find a little doodle of them with hearts around it in the reader's notebook?

third years finding your doodle of them with hearts around it headcanons (gn!reader)

YAY I HAVE ONLY ONE REQUEST LEFT i saved the sad one for last <3 so yeah, enjoy these cute hcs while you can!

cater diamond.

♡ cater would take a look at your notebook simply because he was curious. he knows that it's not a good thing to do and he respects your privacy, but come on, your drawings are so cute, please let him see them! but then he opens your notebook and sees.. this. he sees a small doodle of a guy that looks a lot like him and it's.. um.. surrounded by hearts?

♡ cater wants to think that it's just a coincidence that this guy looks so much like him, maybe it's just your art style, haha.. though a small part of him wants to believe that this really is him. but why did you draw so many hearts too? maybe you just thought they were cute and decided to add them? surely there's no deeper meaning to any of this..

♡ he tries his best to forget what he saw, it's not a big deal, it's just a random doodle that he saw in your notebook, it's not him. it can't be him, right? i mean.. if it was him, that would mean you most likely have a crush on him. and he just can't imagine you falling in love with him. why would you even think of drawing him? nah, that's just not possible.. though his heart does beat a bit faster when he's thinking about it.

trey clover.

♡ oh, it looks like you forgot your notebook in class. there's no need to worry though, because trey will bring it back to you! he's so kind and caring, isn't he? okay, let him just take it and.. oh, it looks like it's open actually. well, that would be rude of him to read it, so he's just gonna- wait, is that him? trey wouldn't be surprised if it turns out that this guy isn't supposed to be him, his vision is not the best after all, but.. he still can't help but feel like this is actually a drawing of him.

♡ he won't ask you about it, he will just simply bring that notebook back to you, like he planned to. he doesn't want you to know that he saw that drawing and also, he has no idea how he'd prove that it wasn't intentional and he didn't actually want to read your notebook. sorry, y/n, this man isn't always honest with you, even though he really hates lying to you.

♡ .. he has to admit that he thought that doodle was cute. he almost laughed because you only drew his glasses and didn't draw his eyes. and the hearts.. he has no idea why they're here, you probably just drew them to make the drawing look ever cuter. it almost looks like you have a crush on him or something.. you don't have one, right?

leona kingscholar.

♡ this guy doesn't care about what's in your notebook. he looked at it only because he was bored, he had nothing to do, he didn't want to sleep (shocking, i know!) and then he saw your notebook lying on the floor. did it fall out of your backpack or something? he probably should bring it to you, even though he's too lazy to do that.. but again, it's not like he has anything else to do right now.

♡ .. now, what's this? this notebook is filled with doodles (you really don't pay much attention to classes, don't you?) and the one he's looking at right now looks a lot like him. your art style made him look too cute though, it's.. kinda gross. and what's with the hearts? ugh, you're so weird.. he shouldn't think too much about it.

♡ he brings the notebook back to you and doesn't say anything about seeing that one drawing, but he says that your art style is so cute that it makes him want to throw up. you just roll your eyes and thank him for the "compliment". right when you're about to leave though, you realize that it means he saw your drawings and you throw that notebook in his face. you sure hope he didn't see that drawing..

vil schoenheit.

♡ your notebook isn't that interesting to him. really, he would look at it only so that he can bring it to you and say how irresponsible you are. your handwriting is so messy.. you've been drawing in class too. you're not just irresponsible, you're lazy too. he should go and find you already- wait.. now, vil is most likely wrong (and he hopes he is), but.. is that him?

♡ he sees a little doodle of him in your notebook surrounded by tiny hearts. something is telling him it really is him, like the hairstyle, the pomefiore dorm uniform.. but also, he wishes this drawing would be more detailed. like, no, y/n, he's not okay with simply having dots for his eyes. and where is his nose? where is his makeup? wait, maybe he's wrong and this isn't supposed to be him.. no, it really is him. he's not like other characters, he's not in denial.

♡ when he gives you your notebook back, he doesn't mention that drawing (and he doesn't understand why he didn't do it), but he tells you that if you're gonna draw in class again instead of paying attention, you should at least try working on your art style more. no, these cute little doodles won't do, if you have something more important to do instead of studying and working, it should look like something important. you just look at him and after a minute of silence you go ".. did you just call my doodles cute?".. okay, that's it, he's leaving.

rook hunt.

♡ of course he would go through your notebook. of course he would. why? well.. he just wants to know more about you! he goes crazy when he sees it. your handwriting is so unique and beautiful! the way you take notes is so interesting! everything about your notebook is so aesthetically pleasing to him. he likes those little doodles you draw while taking notes too. they're so cute, so adorable, you're so creative! hm, now what do we have here..

♡ forgive him for this, but.. why does he feel like this little drawing is supposed to be him? like, this is definitely his hat. this is his haircut. this also looks like pomefiore dorm uniform.. oh my, it really is him! now excuse him, he's about to go JDHSJDNBSJHNDJDSKDSK 💖💓💗💞💕 HE LOOKS SO CUTE HERE!! you've done such a great job, how did you manage to draw him so well even though it's just a tiny doodle?

♡ yes, he will compliment your drawings when he finds you. no, he doesn't care if you go "WAIT, YOU READ MY NOTEBOOK??". yes, he did exactly that, y/n, give him a minute, this man wants to tell you how talented you are and how honored he is to be drawn by you. now, he has to go. oh, wait, he almost took your notebook with him- here it is.

idia shroud.

♡ ah, it's your notebook.. well, it's not like he wants to read it. no, really, he's not interested. but then, as he about to leave, he notices your drawings and.. okay, they're cute. he wants to see more of them. he really hopes you don't come back for your notebook because if you appear right behind him and see what he's doing, he will die.

♡ your doodles are so cute.. he just can't stop turning the pages, he doesn't care about your notes and your handwriting, he just wants to see the drawings. he especially likes the ones with cats. wait, what's this drawing supposed to mean- OH SEVENS THIS IS HIM. he knows that it's him, this is obviously his hairstyle and his hoodie and- Y/N I'M SORRY BUT THIS GUY IS SO CLOSE TO JUST THROWING YOUR NOTEBOOK OUT THE WINDOW HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THIS INFORMATION

♡ when you come back to get your notebook, you see this pathetic (affectionate or not) man lying on the floor and trying to hide how red his face is with his hands, but his hair turning pink gives everything away. you have no idea what happened here, so you just take your notebook and leave. maybe it's better not to ask him, it doesn't look like he will give you a proper answer right now anyway.

malleus draconia.

♡ oh, looks like you forgot your notebook. hm, he knows that it's rude to read someone's notes without their permission like this.. but he can't deny that he's curious and wants to see what you've written here. maybe this will help him get to know you better. and why is he so excited about this? like he's just reading your notebook, this is not something special.. but it's special to him, because it's your notebook.

♡ he likes everything about your notes. your handwriting, the way you take notes, your drawings.. hehe, they're so cute. now that he thinks about it, he doesn't remember ever seeing you draw before. he wishes you would show your art to him more often, you really are talented. even if these drawings are small and not that serious, they still feel like a part of you and he loves them just as much as he loves- wait, is this what he thinks it is?

♡ .. it really is him. these are his horns, his eyes, his ears, his hairstyle.. this is your drawing of him. he accidentally drops your notebook when he realizes this. he's just so shocked, he doesn't know what to do. like, how is he even supposed to react to this? when he calms down a little, he realizes that he's actually.. very happy about this. other diasomnia students don't understand why their dorm leader keeps smiling like something good happened today and it honestly scares them a little.

lilia vanrouge.

♡ like rook, he's unashamed to admit that he read your notebook. look, he was bored, okay? also he likes you and he always wanted to learn more about you, so <3 he would love your doodles a lot, they're so small, they're so silly! hehe, they say so much about your personality and you probably don't even realize it. but then he turns a page and.. he sees a drawing of him.

♡ like, he knows that this is him. he can feel it, okay, his intuition never fails him! it's because of his hairstyle. he recognized himself because of the hairstyle he looks so cute in your art style, he can't stop smiling when he looks at that drawing. oh, wait, you added some hearts too.. haha, does this mean that you have a crush on him? you're so adorable. well, lucky for you, he likes you back~

♡ you find him hanging upside down as always and reading your notebook. you tell him to give it back to you and even though he really wants to play with you, he agrees and you get your notebook back. but later that day, while doing homework, you notice that one page is missing. if you're not wrong, it was a page with that drawing of lilia.. you really hope that lilia won't find it, you just know that he won't leave you alone if that happens.

[kaddyssammlung]

Twitter "gang" is acting out...again. About the purpose of art / freedom of artists

TW: self-harm (not mine of course but Vessel's)

Twitter gang is ripping each other's heads off because some artists out there make choices that they don't agree with.

Let's leave it at that for now.

I just read that “art is supposed to be comforting”. I find this confusing and also I don't agree. I don't know much about art (in that case it's about drawing). Sometimes I look at fan art and it really is nice and comforting and I just like looking at it. But other Sleep Token fanart I find provocative or even triggering. I see nothing wrong with that in general. It should be an artists choice to portray Vessel however they want to do portray him. Twitter gang has no problem with overly sexual depictions of Vessel and the other guys but someone draws Vessel with his scars and then Sleep Token Twitter goes wild. What the?! And also there is not one purpose of art in my opinion. It can have so many.

“It's overstepping boundaries and also not being protective of Vessel...?” What...?!

How we see someone influences them btw. If you look at Vessel and think of him as a weak human that needs your protection then you actually “make” him weak.

I see him as someone who struggled but found his strength. He does not need my protection. I learned and grew a lot over the past years and the reason for that was all the past trauma that I finally started to resolve. If someone out there looks at me like some weak creature it would make me feel weak.

Something else....it was also said that everyone (especially the ones who struggled with self-harm themselves) agreed that it's not okay to talk about self-harm?!

Hmm....pretending bad things don't exist does not make them go away!

And also I had a lot of conversations ever since starting this tumblr about that topic and also I have always written about it, from the very start and no one ever came at me for it. It was the opposite.

I'm sorry but I'm not going to shut up for anyone's comfort. I do hide posts like these because I want it to be your choice if you read about these topics. Some days I would not want to read my own stuff because it's too triggering. But I won't be silenced. I mean of course talking about this topic in a respectful way!

And also I'd rather have someone come talk to me or open up about their struggles then make them feel like they are wrong for how they feel.

This topic is arleady being so misunderstood and having some sort of "thought control" about that topic is not helping at all.

Whatever...I keep forgetting that so many fans are still quite young and not some close to 40 year old women. I am responible for my employees (and also tenants but I never talk about that). And idk...maybe I learned a thing or two over the years. You know...make mistakes and then learn from them and move on and things like that. Life-experience is the word that I'm looking for. They probably don't have as much as I do but I can't hold that agains them.

[i-arch-my-backula]

How Louis and Lestat spend Halloween with you

So I'm decently into the first season of IWTV TV show, I'm on episode six of the first season, and I want to write about these gay vampires so bad, but I don't want to do anything too high stakes, so I'm just going to do a silly Halloween thing for them. Sorry if this is OOC for either of them. I'm basing the time around the late 1910's-ish.

Content includes: Mentions of 'hunting'

Louis De Pointe Du Lac

Because Halloween has only really been celebrated in the States for less than 30 years, Louis isn't too keen on it. He sees all of the greeting cards in stores and costume parties everyone throws, he thinks it's a little silly, but if you want to play around with it, he'll oblige.

If it were up to him, he wouldn't really do anything to celebrate, he sees it as just another holiday made up by some humans. But when you beg him to go to a party with you, he'll go, but he won't dress up.

I think he'll still be lighthearted about the whole thing. Just letting you have your fun dressing up and going to parties with him, doing this and that. He doesn't take it too seriously, but he won't explicitly tell you that.

If you suggest decorating the outside of the house for Halloween he'll slightly protest that. "Come on now, we ain't gotta do all that." He'll probably say. Louis already feels anxious about his standing in New Orleans at is it, so drawing more attention to himself and you probably isn't what he'll want to do.

But he'll find ways to compromise. If you want to wear a costume he'll hire a seamstress who is willing to work at night to come and make you whatever costume you'd like to be, within reason of course.

By now Louis has learned to be careful with who he chooses to eat for his dinner. Only going after those who no one will miss, or notice that they've gone missing, he's learned his lesson, and he won't make the same mistakes again.

That being said he's going to use you prancing around town going to Halloween parties as a way to hunt. If he grows bored of the party he'll leave you on your own to have your fun while he finds a bite to eat.

Overall Louis isn't that big of a Halloween fan. He doesn't hate it, but if given the choice, he wouldn't exactly engage with it either. But because his beloved enjoys this holiday so much, he's willing to do this just for you.

Lestat De Lioncourt

Lestat is a dramatic ass bitch. He's French, blonde, has a bob, and is bisexual, it's in his nature to be dramatic. But that being said I think he's indifferent about Halloween.

He doesn't hate it or anything, but he thinks it's just another human holiday that he could go without. But because you love it so much, he's willing to celebrate it with you.

Lestat is very old, and French, and to my understanding in France Halloween isn't celebrated on mass like how it is in the United States, so if that's true now I'm sure it's true back then.

So as Lestat sees Halloween rise up into this kind of a holiday he'll tease you about enjoying a holiday that just now became popular, but he ribs you about most things in general. It's just in his nature.

Because he's Lestat you two will be invited to many Halloween parties, and since he enjoys parties in general, he'll be happy to go with you.

I think he enjoys getting dressed up just for the hell of it, so while you wear a costume for a Halloween party, he'll just wear one of his fancy suits. But this is also a good excuse if someone asks him why is fingernails look like that or some other question about his appearance. He can pass it off as a Halloween costume.

Like Louis, Lestat takes this as an opportunity to hunt as well. He's not one to grow bored of a party easily, but if you two are walking around on Halloween night and he happens to find the perfect someone to eat, he can't deny himself that.

Like Louis I think he'll not want to decorate for Halloween, not because he doesn't want to draw attention to himself, but because he thinks the decorations are a bit tacky.

"Oh come on mon chéri. These decorations look like a child cut shapes out of some black paper. We can't hang these up for everyone to see."

[silent-stories]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘

Pairing: Eddie x F!Reader

Summary: One night you hear a noise and go to check, finding your neighbor talking to stray cats.

Warnings: a bit of fluff

It was late at night, but since you couldn't sleep, you were sitting on the picnic table in front of the trailer where you lived with your family.

Looking up to the sky you could see stars shining in the sky and some bats flying in circles.

You had always liked night and the calm atmosphere that created when everyone went to sleep and silence fell, you felt more at ease at night.

Just as you were about to go back inside, you heard a voice coming from behind one of the trailers. The Munson trailer, you recognized.

You and Eddie were in same math class but he'd only shown up twice since the beginning of the year, he'd taken a seat at the back of the class and you were pretty sure he'd spent the entire hour doing something else than paying attention.

Drawing, reading or preparing the next D&D campaign, maybe.

You'd never talked to Eddie, even though he was friends with Dustin and Mike,the kids you had babysat for years when they were younger, and even though he lived only a few feet away from you, but not for the same reason that most people at school didn't.

You knew what they said about him, that he was the leader of a satanic cult, that he made human sacrifices and that he was a "freak" but you never really believed it. Mostly because you were sure Dustin wasn't part of a cult but also because Eddie seemed like a good guy despite what everyone else at school (and in all Hawkings) thought.

Dustin once told you that Eddie was one of the only people who was nice to him at school, besides you.

You jumped off the table and headed for the source of the sound. You put a hand against the wall of the trailer and peered behind it to see what was going on.

The scene you faced was honestly some of the cutest shit I've seen in your entire life.

Eddie was sitting on the ground, lit by the dim light from a streetlight not far from him, a black and white cat was clambering onto his lap as Eddie ran his ringed fingers through its fur with a grin on his face.

He wore a red flannel shirt, the sleeves rolled up to the elbows showing the tattoos on his arms, and dark jeans.

His hair fell to the sides of his face as he leaned towards the cat, clearly he hadn't heard or seen you coming.

"Hey sweety" he said while the cat was purring "I'm sorry but today for you I only have some pizza crusts, tomorrow morning I'll bring you something else okay?"

You noticed the plastic plate containing the remains of what had probably been Eddie's dinner lying on the ground. In that moment another cat popped out from behind Eddie's back and rubbed against his arm emitting a soft "meow".

That one was much smaller than the other, he couldn't have been more than a few months old. The fur on its ears was so long for such a small cat that it looked like he had a pair of little horns.

“Hi to you too,” Eddie chuckled as his other hand stroked the space between its ears.

You didn't even realize you were standing there and watching the scene with a stupid smile on your lips.

The way a person treats animals says so much about them and at that moment Eddie was telling you that he were the least scary person on the face of the earth. And that he was sweet.

"That's cute." You said, finally getting his attention.

Eddie's head snapped in your direction and he suddenly leapt to his feet, nearly knocking the orange cat off his knees.

"Hey, uhm...I...." He stammered scratching the back of his head with one hand, almost as if he was embarrassed.

Oh. Was Eddie Munson embarrassed?

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"I heard a sound and came to see what was going on." You explained and he just nodded like a kid caught stealing candy.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone that the tough and metal Eddie Munson talks to cats." You added, and when he looked up and saw you laughing, he did the same.

The black and white cat walked towards you and rubbed against your leg. You crouched down to pet it.

"They don't have a house, or a family" Eddie explained. "And so they have no food. These two aren't the only ones, I know there are at least four others in this area. I try to leave as much food as possible back here but a lot of times I don't have enough for all of them."

They don't have a house, or a family, he tought. They were a bit like him, maybe that was why he cared so much for them.

When you took your hand away from the cat, he pushed his muzzle back against it. Eddie chuckled and you realized you liked the sound of his laugh.

"That's very nice of you. Do they have names?"

"I call her Ozzy." He said pointing to the cat next to you.

The black spots around the cat's eyes really looked like the dark glasses the Black Sabbath singer always wore, you realized.

Her name was spot on.

"And this is Angus" He nodded at the smaller cat who approached you and sniffed your hand reluctantly.

"Hi Angus." You said as he nibbled on your finger.

Eddie laughed as you tried to take your hand away from him.

"You have such cute little horns" you talked to the kitten, "And you're almost as small as the real Angus."

Eddie's face basically lit up. "There's no way you got the reference!"

"Ozzy Osbourne with his glasses and Angus Young with horns and his small stature? Try something harder."

If it was possible, Eddie smiled even more. "I didn't know you liked that kind of music."

"There are many things you don't know about me. We've never talked before." You said.

"Well, I'd like to do it more from now on. You're not what I thought." He confessed.

"And what did you think?" You asked.

"That you were like the others at school. But you're not." He said. Henderson wasn't wrong about you, after all.

"Did you think I was like the cheerledears? Should I be offended?" You asked, but your tone was playful. "Do you think they would dress like this?" You pointed to the ripped jeans that you had quickly put on before going out that night and the boots that you hadn't even zipped up.

He raised his hands in apology. "I humbly apologize, m'lady. Even the best make mistakes sometimes."

You laughed. "Well, you are as I thought." You said.

"Scary?" He asked, his voice changed slightly in tone. Most people think that of him at school. And not just at school. He knew how even in town people talked about him and sometimes he just pretended he didn't care about it.

You shook your head. "A good person."

The smile on his lips was back.

That's not metal. That's not metal at all, Eddie thought.

He'd been caught talking to cats, and now he was smiling like a stupid at a girl he barely knew.

No, definitely not metal. But that didn't stop him.

You stood up picking up Ozzy who was still on top of you and deposited her on the ground.

"I think we should go to sleep now. It must be almost 1 a.m." You announced as you watched the cats approach the plate of pizza crusts.

Eddie looked at the watch on his wrist. "Yeah, you're probably right."

"Well, then... see you in math class, if you'll ever decide to show up."

"Maybe, sooner or later." he shrugged. "Goodnight, Y/N."

"Night, Eddie." You walked up to your trailer and Eddie followed you with his eyes, you gave him one last look to see he was still smiling slightly, before going back inside.

That night, in your bed, the last thing on your mind before falling asleep was: you heard Eddie Munson call a cat "sweety".

In his bed Eddie thought maybe now he had a good reason to show up for math class.

[drezendragon]

V to UV Art by DonnyK9 Murder Drones AU Idea Rambling Alright this is a “Drezen Ramble” I watched Murder Drones as it was coming out and after the last episode had an idea for a AU that then spiraled out of control a bit. It took a long time to finally find someone to draw some stuff for it and hopefully I can find more people to comm stuff for this but here we go. Should probably note I copy pasted most of this from a conversation I had with a bud so sorry if it comes off as nonsense XD

Context: this idea was inspired by the last few episodes where we find out “Effective Drones were cloned more” and Cyn’s comment that N’s Team always surprised her along with the fact V was willing to make a deal with the solver and that V’s persona kind of a mask to deal with the horrors. 

Most of this little story would take place on a different world probably a few years before Copper 9 and the main plot. I mean the solver had to get through Copper's 1 to 8 after all plenty of space to fill so assume it takes place on one of those many outings. 

Basically this AU would center around a different V who went with a different persona to mask behind instead of canon V this AU V takes up the persona of a "Tomboy" (+ a little shonen protagism) this Persona of V basically sets out to try and make sure this Squad is a proper Team and not barely functional mess... Basically She and N use “Democracy” to vote out J as leader and put V in charge who then actually raises team efficiency (much to J's annoyance) by basically doing all she can to be N and J's friend attempting to give them both therapy while mediating their clash of Extrovert and Introvert. N she actually deals with the fact his brain is wiped although basically spoon feds him info (basically tells him the mansion stuff but not the Gala incident) and also kind of gently shuts down his crush on her because she can't really remember what it was like to be the Girl N fell for and she thinks he deserves someone who can take all the love he has in his big dumb heart (She does promise to wingman for him though if they ever find someone who meets his fancy). Becoming friends with J was a lot harder. The girl has so many walls up she basically lives in a mental fortress but together they actually get their job done much faster and making N less annoying for J to deal with they become actual friends.

The Team did so well they actually finished the job with a year to spare which they spent further bonding and talking about what they might do after..... then Cyn and the other J show up. The Team freaked out but they did their job and they did it well and V hopes that this means the deal she made of "Leave us in Peace" will be upheld which Cyn says it will... as she proceeds to rip one of V's arms off. This of course freaks them out and Cyn clarifies it is holding up its end of the deal to "Leave them in P-I-E-C-E giggle" in fact she is so happy with them she is extending the deal to "Pieces"  isn't she the best boss (Happy Sarcastic Tone) the Team panics and tries to fight back but doing so causes Cyn to kill N (guess he didn't want to be left in Pieces oh well hopefully the next back up is more of a team player) J (Team) fights J (Solver's Pet) kind of messes up the “Solver's Pet” to see herself fight back choosing her Team over Corporate... but she too goes down once Cyn gets bored with the resistance and uses Admin permissions to lock up the Team has her pet J finish off the other J and then Cyn takes time ripping V into pieces removing her arms, peg legs, smashing her visor face and shredding her voice box after V tries to curse her out/ scream to just annoy Cyn. In the end V is left just a torso with her upper leg stumps still attached, a smashed face and something that shouldn't be called a voice and due to Cyn being Admin she won't be regenerating. Cyn eats the planet but makes sure to leave the chunk with V and her team’s remains as untouched as she can after all would be rude to not let V keep her reward.

Cyn eventually leaves for the next planet and V is just kind of left she can't see or hear anything only feel the wind but even that eventually fads and she is left alone with her thoughts for a very long time.... until something finds her something finds a broken doll discarded by a cruel "god" V is not sure if she has gone mad but she tries to call out and whatever it is doesn't retreat from her distorted cries instead it seems to try and comfort her and she feels herself being gently picked up so long since she last felt kindness that she drifts off to sleep. When she wakes up she has been repaired.... mostly it seems whoever repaired her used the parts of her team leaving her with N's lower legs, J's voice box patching up her own (Basically she doesn’t sound like V or J her voice is either deeper or growly-raspy sounding), no idea whose arms she has since they all look so similar but her upper arms seem to be new parts, seemingly J’s unbound hair, no stinger tail and when she looks into a mirror she sees her eyes are now basically the color of UV lights and on closer inspection she swears she sees more eyes beneath her visor but before the panic of whatever that is about set in she notices another addition of…. Animal Ears in place of her Headband eyes with said ears expressing her current mood before twitching as she hears someone in the next room and with checking herself over done she leaves out the room to whatever awaits her next.

Notes:

She is nicknamed "UV" because of her eyes she never actually introduces herself to the person who put her back together so “UV” is just what they call her until she either introduces herself or picks out a name for herself.

Her lights were changed from yellow to purple by the person who put her back together both as a side effect of some of the alterations made when repairing her and also so that she hopefully wouldn’t freak out when seeing yellow drone eyes looking back at her when she looks in a mirror.

She is the admin of her own system Cyn’s Admin rights were replaced but despite that UV was unable to regenerate which is why she was repaired with available parts. The current status of her solver is UV has admin rights but the solver does not seem to work in any capacity. 

She can't use her arm weapons so has to carry actual weapons which after finding some Disassembly Drone arms with their Swords sticking out she takes the blades to make into actual swords she can wield. She also can’t use her wings anymore.

Her body has a few upgrades beyond the patch job repair due to the person who repaired her getting hit with inspiration while examining her but they stopped themselves from going overboard as they acknowledge UV is a person and any alterations should really be of her choice… granted this person also looked through her memories just to make sure they weren’t repairing a psycho.

Upgrades and modifications she now has are: Her new upper arm parts compensate for her lack of wings since they allow her arms to extend (Think Reg’s arms from Made in Abyss), her visor she can now customize things like the type or eye brows she has when she expresses along with a range of other options to help her be who she wants to be, She can eat human food being no longer reliant on oil but she can still eat it and other drone foods if she has to and probably a few other features relating to her new visor and ears that she didn’t bother to ask about once the shock of being rebuilt started to wear off.

Having her Teammates limbs attached to her has had a bit of an effect on her psyche causing her to take up some of their personality traits on top of her Tomboy Persona leading her to be more Chipper like N but also making her call the person who fixed her up "Boss" (thankfully she is spared using the mountain of corporate jargon that J does)

She has a lot of mental grief, having survivors guilt and refusing to get any further upgrades or better repairs to desperately hold onto what she has left of her friends which sometimes leads to her hallucinating them when alone or stressed out.

Character Inspirations: Murder Drones's V: Eldritch Robo, Fake it till you make it, Cloned Traumatized Killed Cloned again, Sacrifice her own happiness for her friends.

Fate's Mordred: Knight of Rebellion, Artificial Being Cloned from another, Tomboy, Traumatized but kind of dealing with it.

Underverse's Cross:  Quotes "Am I evil for what I did? Am I evil for what I am?" " What's the point of feeling useful and valid in a reality plagued by thousands of us...?" "Yes, our origin is an imitation... ready-made from another. But...our pride, our experiences... Maybe they make us authentic." Scrapnik Mecha Sonic: Haunted by the fight that left them in pieces, Shadow of their “maker” looming over them, feels like a misshapen thing with scraps for limbs, surprisingly dangerous for their current state of repair. 

[kalolasfantasyworld]

Paper Hearts anniversary

Today passes exactly a year since I published the first chapter of PH and at the same time joined the BC fandom.

I want to thank everyone who supported me through this amazing journey. Tumblr is annoying and is not letting me tag people so I will make few posts with some special thanks yous 🥺 Treat this post as the main one of sorts.

There will be few of these and I'm sorry I probably won't get to everyone. If you're not there please don't take it as if I don't appreciate you, because I really do. I also won't talk too much, because we would be sitting here all day, but I really wanted to thank few people directly. Also it's a PH anniversary, so that's what I'm focusing on with these.

Have a little art of my blorbos. These characters gave me so much and I didn't expect to love them as much as I did. I had PH plot obviously planned beforehand, but while writing I fully connected to the Silvas and in a way discovered Helena.

If you're curious about the story how PH came to be here's an explanation post.

PH gave me so much this year. I talked to my friends about it when I was very emotional, that this fic in fact will come to an end at some point. It was then when I summarised some of the amazing things PH gave me.

This story is the reason I engaged in the fandom in the first place I wouldn't have posted my art if not for PH Posting the fic kind of started everything But it also brought so much change to my rl

It got me through a serious break up. I learned how to have fun by myself, made new friends, saw who were the fake ones, laughed a lot, cried as well, stayed up many nights, learned how to draw, had an escape when uni was hard, learned how to be true to myself and brave. but I suppose most of all PH brought back my inner child I lost it four years ago, when my life hit me hard and it took me 3 years to get it back to start dreaming and coming up with stories again to go back to my fantasy world

now you know the story behind my username 💕

Thank you BC fandom for accepting me here and giving me this little corner to call my "internet home".

[magentasnail]

hello I do not know anything about Undertale but I am interested in hearing about your children! I think I am in a similar situation with Little Nightmares, haha.

OMG THANK YOU I LOVE YOU!!! i can let this information out without feeling too annoying because now i'm answering an ask so it's fine !! it's going to be so long I'm so sorry, but what are we on tumblr for if not to rumble about our interests, right? also i hope the fact you don't know undertale doesn't make this too confusing !! also spoiler warning i guess ??

general world building:

the humans have forgotten about the monsters and magic, they are only remembered in myths and legends (i made a cool thing about it)

all of the humans had a similar experience to us playing the game, they learned about the monster history, made friends and eventually kinda gave up in hope to help the monsters

right so, first human: chara!

chara is already in the game, but I think i made them the richest backstory

"chara" is a nickname, their name is actually character. they were bullied for that name and they really hate it, wishing they could get any other name (like what happens at the start of the game!)

they were named character because of an old tradition to name kids based on the first word you see in the spell book that runs in their family. however the book is encrypted, and their parents ended up on a random character they couldn't read.

they didn't get along with the other kids in school, and were trying to study their behavior so they can understand them better by taking notes of what they said and drawing their facial expressions (the way text is shown in the game!)

eventually, they came to the conclusion they don't like the other children and don't want to be like them, so they decided to learn how to push them away (by making scary faces!)

always get red eyes in photos

next: patience soul! i'll be honset i wrote these stories 6 years ago, i think everyone had names but i don't remember them anymore, so all the children will now be called their soul trait gbfdjfd

patience was a girl from chara's village, and chara's only friend! or well chara was patiance only friend. their parents were friends so when they hung out patience and chara were left to play together. patience liked chara as she was home school and didn't get to play with other kids, while chara was mostly annoyed about the whole thing and felt like patience friendship wasn't genuine, as they were forced into hanging out

she really likes cute things, like dressing cute and putting on make up! she introduced chara to make up which ended up helping chara make scary faces (such as melty face look)

she wanted to be a Dr when she grows up, hence the toy knife (meant to be like a surgery knife for children) and the bandages at the flowey fight

when chara left to the mountain, patience just waited for them to come back. they waited and waited, until asriel got to the village. only then they decide to go to the mountain. they found out chara died very shortly after getting underground, and so lost their determination and was killed easily.

they got to the underground right after asgore declared war against humanity, asogre probably hoped it will take a while for a human to arrive but one fell down and was killed really soon! this just made more sense to me for why toriel left without talking asgore out of it, and why she hates him so much. things escalated really quick

bravery soul!

youngest brother of like 5 older brothers and a single dad.

his brothers always bullied him for being soft and girlie (I also considered him being afab but im not sure !)

got the worn boxing gloves his dad used to have when he was young, they have big holes and patches

also maybe his mom died when he was born, and she was also a red head like him, which is part of the femininity stuff ?

as part of a prank, his brothers dared him to go to the mountain and come back to prove himself thinking he won't go, but he did!

didn't stay with toriel because he was in a rush to get home to prove his brothers he did it

integrity!! this is where me not being a native english speaker gets me because I'm not sure what integrity means and it ruined their backstory a bit! I used to treat it as "being true to yourself" but now I think it's more about staying true to your morals, which is a bit different oops !

amab and nonbinary! their mom used to be a ballet dancer and now is a ballet teahcer

they were the only male student, and were jealous and hurt that all the girls got to wear tutus but them, and thought it wasn't fair

they sneakily stole their mom old dusty tutu from the attic and were secretly practicing in their room, until they were caught

they felt so guilty and ashamed that they ran away from home to the mountain

toriel reminded them of their mom, and how worried she must be, so they didn't stay with her

perseverance!!

kindness' little sister!

while looking for books in the library, she stumbled upon and old and encrypted spell book (yes this is the book that was in chara's family!) after a lot of hard work she learned how to decrypt it using some context clues, and with it she learned about the monsters and magic and even a few spells!

when she tried talking about her findings nobody took her seriously, and people at her school made fun of her

even her brother was trying to be supportive but didn't really believe her, which prompted her to run away to the mountain to prove everyone the monsters are real and she's right

in the underground, she was able to use her spells! like the unused spell option in the original battle menu! she also befriended Gerson as they shared their love to history, and she gave him her notebook and glasses (as they were fogging up too much to see out of anyway) as a parting gift! (maybe she also casted a duplication spell on them, considering the infinite supply at his store?)

also she didn't stay with Toriel because she was focused on getting back home to show everyone she was right at that stage

kindness!

perseverance older brother !

honestly, he's just a cutie that likes to cook! will often make and food just for sharing with his classmates

when perseverance was sad that nobody was taking her seriously, he went to make her favorite food to cheer her up. she wasn't answering him for a bit and assumed she just locked herself in her room because she was sad, so he gave her some time until eventually he decided to come in to check on her and realized she ran away through the window

he was probably a few hours behind her on the adventure, both as he gave her time, and he checked up a few places before going to the mountain, and he was more lost and confused than her when it came to exploring (also he was wearing flip flops still, which slowed him down)

didn't stay with Toriel because he was determined to find his sister, but then he found out she sacrificed herself, and decided to join her (both for the monsters and for her sake out of guilt)

justice!! she's the only one I know their name! her name is mustard !! just like undertale yellow I was tempted to call her clover based on the "clover" shooting from her gun at the flowey fight, but actually according to the file name this is not a clover but a flower! and mustard has a yellow flower with 4 petals and it's cute !!

moved to the village near the mountain with her family only recently, and this was their first Halloween in the town! and actually her first Halloween ever, as where she used to live they didn't celebrate it

she loves cowboys ! her grandpa was an actor in old cowboy films, he passed before she was born so she only know him through these films, and thinks he was a real cowboy

the gun she has is his old gun, that she got from her dad for her costume

she saw a group of bullies picking up on a younger child and trying to steal his candy, so she jumped to protect him saying she has a gun, but that didn't go very well as that terrified the small child and made them ran away. she tried to ran after them but ended up getting lost on the mountain

didn't stay with toriel because she wanted to return to her parents who must have been worried for her

lastly we got frisk!! i didn't get much background for frisk but more like a bunch of headcanons about them

probably homeless? and honestly, might have hit their head when climbing the mountain and suffer from amnesia, so they don't know their backstory either so it's fine!

really need glasses! explaining the small eyes and the whole game being pixelated and the small screen size, they just can't see

when asriel said frisk and chara have similar fassion choices he didn't mean like the striped shirt (as all children wear striped shirts) but like the way they have an under layer, cargo shorts for more pockets (also inventory space has to do with how many pockets you have!!) and boots !

fell underground the same age chara did, so like 10? and chara spent like a year underground

went to the mountain because it was some sort of a calling? they didn't really understand why but they felt like they needed to

also this is a headfanon but I'm for frisk and chara being far relatives!

wooo we did it all humans !!! now some extra general stuff:

the red soul's trait is love!!

all the humans came back to life after the asriel fight!!! and their body were fully healed and fine! Asgore probably bandaged them as he buried them in the coffins, and when they woke up (and opened chara's coffin seeing it's empty) they left their bandages there explaining the mummy wrapping that appear

considering it's been decades since some of them fell down, they had no where to go after this, and were all adopted by toriel! which also motivated her to open the school ! this idea of all of them being roomates and living together is what sparked all of this in the first place, i just really wanted to have a blog where people ask me things as them

at the end of the flowey fight, all of their soul traits "evolved", as seen with the color change when you ask for help, completing their character arc. all of them were helping flowey as part of their flaw, but frisk calling for help helped them change. for example, just as patience was always waiting to see what will happen, she wasn't trying to stand up to flowey, but she learned to be more brave and act! bravery learned to stop complying to every dare he gets and stand for himself and so on.

and that's everything i think !! if you made it all this way you get a sticker! i hope this helped with whatever boredom you were facing !

now i can stop worrying about how their story will never be out there, as it is now! and if nobody cares that's fine !!

[mokutone]

Hey I hope it’s okay to message you! Just wanted to check in on how you were doing… I wanted to DM you but I’m way too shy, I wanted to let you know— in 2023, after four years of complete silence, your art inspired me to start creating again. From 2019 to 2024, I was completely run dry. I didn’t create a single piece of art! But seeing your wonderful drawings, the way your compositions seemed to breathe life into your art, and your gorgeous use of colors… helped me to start creating art once more! It’s almost a year since then, and I’ve still been steadily creating. Thank you so much for bringing joy back into my life!! I had forgotten that it existed all along… I appreciate you and your art so much, I hope that you have many happy things to smile about. Peace and love 🫛🤍

i've gotten a handful of asks gently prodding me to make sure i'm alive (theyre very sweet) and i'm answering this one only bc it touched me deeply if i wait a while to answer it i know the asker won't get alerted so! 1) it's definitely okay to message me! but, that said: i probably will not reply to most asks for a very long time (sorry!) 2) that is, i think, the sweetest thing you could possibly say to me—maybe to any artist. i'm really, really, profoundly glat that my art made you want to make art too!!! other artists have done this for me when i was stuck, and i am eternally grateful to them, and now eterernally grateful to you, for finding what you needed in my art, that's a beautiful thing, and it's an honor as an artist!! i hope that somebody is brave and kind enough to tell you that your art inspired them to create—its a feeling like nothing else. i'm SO, so glad, that art is bringing you joy again!!! 3) (as for how i am doing—life continues, in its own way. most things are not good, but some are! i've made a promise with myself not to post on this blog until i sort out some unfortunately very real life difficulties, and.......it's been a year and i'm still working on it! life continues. good days and bad days. i suppose i'm also in a bit of a silent period of my own at the moment, in many ways! it happens to everyone, and it'll end eventually for me too)

and, with that said—let the silence resume for now.