#things are just kinda strained atm

[mokutone]

Hey I hope it’s okay to message you! Just wanted to check in on how you were doing… I wanted to DM you but I’m way too shy, I wanted to let you know— in 2023, after four years of complete silence, your art inspired me to start creating again. From 2019 to 2024, I was completely run dry. I didn’t create a single piece of art! But seeing your wonderful drawings, the way your compositions seemed to breathe life into your art, and your gorgeous use of colors… helped me to start creating art once more! It’s almost a year since then, and I’ve still been steadily creating. Thank you so much for bringing joy back into my life!! I had forgotten that it existed all along… I appreciate you and your art so much, I hope that you have many happy things to smile about. Peace and love 🫛🤍

i've gotten a handful of asks gently prodding me to make sure i'm alive (theyre very sweet) and i'm answering this one only bc it touched me deeply if i wait a while to answer it i know the asker won't get alerted so! 1) it's definitely okay to message me! but, that said: i probably will not reply to most asks for a very long time (sorry!) 2) that is, i think, the sweetest thing you could possibly say to me—maybe to any artist. i'm really, really, profoundly glat that my art made you want to make art too!!! other artists have done this for me when i was stuck, and i am eternally grateful to them, and now eterernally grateful to you, for finding what you needed in my art, that's a beautiful thing, and it's an honor as an artist!! i hope that somebody is brave and kind enough to tell you that your art inspired them to create—its a feeling like nothing else. i'm SO, so glad, that art is bringing you joy again!!! 3) (as for how i am doing—life continues, in its own way. most things are not good, but some are! i've made a promise with myself not to post on this blog until i sort out some unfortunately very real life difficulties, and.......it's been a year and i'm still working on it! life continues. good days and bad days. i suppose i'm also in a bit of a silent period of my own at the moment, in many ways! it happens to everyone, and it'll end eventually for me too)

and, with that said—let the silence resume for now.

[twistedchatterbox]

you > work

“summary: how would they act around you during work? ft.Azul and Floyd (seperately) tags. GN Reader, Fluff, This is basically my first ever “fic” reformatted, No Spoilers, yes I am biased as fuck mind your business, the fish mafia acts like an actual fish mafia, loveels, domestic Azul, Floyd is a lover for you and a danger for literally everything else, Jade makes a cameo, the fish are all so lovesick oh my god, no beta we overblot like men; i am kinda busy atm so please just accept these crumbs while i work on many things at once lol,, enjoy.

Wordcount; 700+ | Masterlist & Taglist

They’ll treat you the way they always have; adoringly and lovingly. As unpredictable as they can be, for you, they’re simply smitten. Lovesick fish. It’s adorable, really. The way... The way Azul’s eyes light up into a look of excitement upon seeing your contact light up on the screen of his phone would have been contagious.. had his witnesses not been thoroughly terrified and possibly beaten out of their wits to even think or consider commenting on it. He quickly gathers himself, though, and asks his clients if they’d mind waiting a moment as he casts a spell; pointing his pen and channeling the spell directly against their throat, effectively ridding the poor unfortunate souls of their voices.  Elegantly rising up from his chair in a well-practiced manner, he grabs his phone and heads towards privacy, where his own voice turns sweeter than honey as it fills to the gills with affection for you. Azul chuckles as he whispers a “Hi”, sighing as your voice brought him the fresh breather he’s yearned for all day. “Hi darling, has everything been alright?” he asks, softening with not only his voice but his smile as it turns genuine for you; which only intensifies as you explain you just called him to ask what he’d like for dinner, since you remembered the two of you forgot to assign kitchen duty today and you arrived home early. Azul’s eyes crinkle and he finds himself indulging in a closed-eyed smile, fondly shaking his head as if you could see it. “Ah, is that so?” Azul teases with no edge to his tone, “You just wanted to ask me what I’d like for dinner? My, my, aren’t you so benevolent today~?” he playfully murmurs, enjoying himself. But he can’t take too much time, since he does have a real answer for you. Sighing, he says so, “You truly are the sweetest thing...Can you please make my favourites today?”, feeling proud of himself when you pick up on it and ask if today has been exceptional, nodding as if you could tell. Azul feels sad that the call cannot last forever, yet he knows a way to remedy it so he gently murmurs his response, “Yes, today was great, thank you darling, i’ll see you at home. I love you.” Feeling more refreshed than ever compared to earlier, Azul re-corrects his posture and draws a breather, determined to quickly finish his leftover work early so that he can join as you soon as possible. Plus, getting home early and being able to wrap his arms around you while you navigated the kitchen just sounded perfect.

Now, visiting Floyd during work was Russian roulette with all chambers rigged for most people, meanwhile you could only describe it as a game of hide and seek. To say he adored you and was biased for you is an understatement.  Wearing a warm, fluffy on the inside winter coat, you walked alongside Jade as you neared the place Floyd was supposed to be at around this time- according to Jade, at least. And today, that hunch seemed correct. In your sights was Floyd Leech in the flesh, humming a cheerful tune as he dragged a trash bag alongside the floor with a carefree smile that turned strained whenever the contents seemed to move around- or at least tried to. The way Floyd’s entire figure is engulfed in an excited and thrilled way is a familiar and endearing sight to you; making you smile when he notices you in the middle of his previously assigned task, looking directly at you as soon as you entered his line of sight. Smiling from eye to eye, unable to suppress the trill of sheer joy your surprise visit brought him. You couldn’t help but notice how his clothes were clean as of now, which meant- “Shrimpyy~~!! Gimme a hug~!” Floyd’s laughs with a lovestruck grin, showcasing his sharp, white teeth as he opens his arms for you. And his smile only grew happier as you ran upto him, jumping into his ready arms; he hugs you securely as he twirls you around- he has always been so careful of his strength when it came to you, protective of you, far more gentle towards you than anyone else has been, or ever cared to be. And as his right foot pressed down cruelly onto the tie of the suspicious body bag that finally stopped squirming, the none-existent audience was his witness. This gentleness would only ever be reserved for you.

[the-heart-of-a-monster]

HOPPING ON HERE AGAIN FOR ANOTHER SUPER LONG THEORY POST BOYSSSSS

Hello THOAM people! How are you all doing today? Good? Great? Did you just have one of the best days in your entire life and you are certain that nothing could possibly ruin it for you now??

WELL YOU ARE WRONG. /j I AM HERE TO RUIN IT ALL.

that is very much a joke I’m sorry I’m very high on adrenaline right now becAUSE THE NEW COVERS FOR ISSUE 9 JUST DROPPED AS I’M WRITING THIS OUT AND I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT AND I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS. So why don’t I just cut the dilly-dallying and get right on with it?

———

So, first thing I wanna mention is Sonic’s current state and his relationship status. (You may take that as out of context as you want lol) Sonic is currently in an internal state of panic mixed in with exhaustion. MAJOR exhaustion! Bro had to rush to Omega’s aid right after fighting Shadow in a cave full of ice. If that’s not draining as heck then I have no idea what isn’t. And on top of all that, he not only almost killed Omega, but he also knows now that his friends have known what was going on with him for a while! Probably ever since the scene where him, Tails, and Knuckles went out for breakfast and he passed out at the table. (I can’t remember which issue that was atm. I think issue 3…?) In short, Sonic is experiencing a whole rollercoaster of emotions right now, and he isn’t even awake yet! As soon as he wakes up I theorize he’s gonna be asking everyone a lot of questions, and will then ask for elaborations on top of all the answers he receives! I also don’t think he will be as trusting of others anymore, since his friends all knew of his biggest kept secret for a long while now and nobody said or did anything about it!

Now combine that with the guilt he must feel for Omega… The last thing Sonic witnessed before passing out was him going on a rampage and almost killing the robot. He must not feel great about that…! 🫢 And his relationship with Team Dark will be relatively strained as well. I mean, aside from Rouge probably. She loves Omega, but knows the context behind the situation and doesn’t blame Sonic much for what happened, so I think she won’t change much around the Blue Blur. Though his relationship with Shadow was already strained before all that, so… Yeah.

ALRIGHT TIME TO TALK ABOUT CHIP WOOHOOOOOOOO

We all know now that Chip has finally experienced what I’m calling, “✨God Puberty✨”

(Imagine there are pretty pink sparkles floating around the name. Kinda like the classic “You’re watching Disney Channel” thing)

This ✨God Puberty✨ has essentially opened Chip’s eyes, and changes the game completely! Now we not only have a god on our side but also a god who has context! I believe Chip will try and guide Dark Gaia back to its sleeping state to restore balance like they usually do, as explained in the comic, but the attempt will backfire seeing as Dark Gaia was awoken prematurely by Dr. Eggman. (More on him in a second) Chip will keep trying, because they’re a big floofy funny god that just wants food and just went through ✨God Puberty✨ so they’ll naturally wanna keep this going at a peaceful rate. Because despite all of his power, Chip is still Chip. Just a smol bitty guy who wants ice cream. With the addition of being a god. Sonic will then of course have to step in, leading to him getting his Gaia energy taken away and him being free of this curse, and then the events of the game finale play out as normal. Probably. It’s getting late now and I’m getting tired so my brain energy is wavering so idk exactly if that’s what will happen but it’s some food for thought I suppose.

NOW WE CAN FINALLY TALK ABOUT EGGMAN OH MY GOSH YES LET’S TALK ABOUT THE PATHETIC EGG-SHAPED SCIENTIST THAT WE CALL A MAN MADE OUT OF EGGS

To keep this short and simple, I’ll discuss Eggman within the context we have based solely on the new covers alone. Meaning the only speculation I’ll be doing is based off of those and the last few times we’ve seen the guy in the comic. Which actually was… A long time ago, actually. If I’m remembering correctly, that is. I could be wrong. ANYWHIZZLE LEMME STOP JABBERING AND LET’S GET ON WITH THE THEORIZING-

So the first cover shows a new, most likely final form of Sonic’s, encasing Eggman in a cracked eggshell while using his claws. Or more specifically, there is Eggman, acting as an egg yolk, sitting in a puddle of egg whites with the shell on each side of him, while Sonic’s Gaia claws slowly close in on him in the back. Sonic is staring at him menacingly, his anger and frustration reaching a boiling point due to all the stress he’s most likely experiencing combined with the Dark Gaia energy within him. This cover makes me assume that this issue is gonna act as the final battle against Eggman, a final “Screw you!” To the fat man in red. Obviously, Eggy ain’t going down without a fight, as shown in the next cover, but we’ll get to that in a minute.

The first cover suggests that Eggman is gonna be the main role of the issue, and that he’s gonna get his ass kicked. Sonic is gonna confront him, fully transform into his final Werehog form due to anger and stress, and we’ll then move onto the next issue probably. Again, I’m getting tired so this theory is getting pretty sloppy.

Now onto cover numero dos! I love this cover honestly, and it’s literally only because Knuckles and Tails are seen defending a transforming Sonic from Eggman. They are literally using themselves as like. A meat shield. Normally I’d be like “Oh no what happened????” But right now all I can think is “Omg ✨Brothers✨ 🤩”

———

AGAIN IM GETTING VERY TIRED NOW SO I WILL UNFORTUNATELY END THIS HERE AND WILL NOW GO BRUSH MY TEETH BUT HOPEFULLY I WILL REMEMBER TO COME BACK AND ELABORATE TOMORROW IF I HAVE THE TIME. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING, IT MEANS A TON THAT YOU TOOK THE TIME OUT OF THE DAY TO DO THAT.

oki ima go sleeb now thank you bai

The art for the covers was great btw I just wanted to let you know it’s absolutely wonderful I could look at it all day

you're gonna love what's gonna happent his issue, i can tell!!!!!!

only um. i think you were wayyy too tired so you confused sonic with metal sonic. either that ur ur just very polite to metals insistance that he is the real sonic.

[cynningly]

TW: body horror and eye strain (glitching)

rewatching tribetwelve atm so take this gif i made!! It’s mostly just an excuse to make my own headcanon Firebrand design. It was originally just gonna be a doodle of him but i spiraled lmao

still might change Firebrand’s design. I love body horror stuff and i wanna play with the idea that he becomes visibly more monster looking when he defects from the collective and his powers aren’t being held back by Slendy anymore. Especially with his “Rogue God” thing and creatures like angels and stuff being absolutely horrifying to look at in religious canon.

However, as much as I think the burn scars look cool (i hope you can tell they’re burn scars), they’re a such a pain in the ass to draw. So are the teeth, the teeth might actually be worse. I wanted to make it look like his cheeks and lips got like burnt off (Noah’s house got burnt down when he was a kid so i like to think this Firebrand is from a session where Noah didn’t make it out in time) so his teeth are exposed and that’s what kinda gives him his uncanny smile.

But he kinda barely looks like Noah anymore. I kinda wanna see what I can do balancing his horror with becoming a monster while giving him a design that still looks like his past self (cause the horror of seeing the fucked up creature you’ll become while also being able to recognize yourself in it is just *chefs kiss*) and is maybe just a bit easier to draw lmao

Adam Rosner apologists dni or i swear to god i will beat you away with a stick

also quick psa about how I draw Noah cause i do plan to draw and post more t12 stuff:

tldr at the bottom cause this turned out long, sorry

I know a lot of people have been shifting their Noah designs cause Adam is disgusting, and that’s a perfectly fine and more than respectable thing to do. however, i plan to continue to draw Noah as he is. before all this came out, t12 was a massive part of my childhood and Noah was definitely always one of my fav characters. I simply cannot separate t12 from Noah in my own head.

I can, however, separate t12 from Adam.

I rarely ever saw oog tribetwelve stuff, so I will always associate that face with Noah first and Adam second. I will continue to see Adam as a horrible excuse of a human and Noah as a character who suffered because of their actor and writer. In my own humble opinion, Noah can still be a good character even while taking his actor’s deeds into consideration. I believe that you can enjoy t12 while also hating and not supporting Adam. Separating the art from the artist, as some say. Again, if you don’t like drawing Noah as he was in the series and you don’t like seeing the image of a man who did absolutely horrible things that should have put him behind bars, that’s completely understandable and ok.

tldr,

So yeah, i’m gonna draw Noah as he is, but i get people’s desire to change his design to further distance the awesome series of tribetwelve from its awful creator. I just won’t be doing that. I just wanted to explain my reasoning for how I draw him in hopes that 1: y’all can understand how I see this situation and more importantly 2: so you don’t think I support Adam just because I draw Noah canon to how he was in the series. I do not and will not ever under any circumstances support Adam Rosner.

[estbela]

ur my hero fr…. can u maybe tell me more about serbro + bul’s dynamic 🥺

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

Noooo, you are my hero!!!!!

OFC!!!!

(Tho this post is kind of a mess sorry)

You see, Ro & Bul are very good friends, and so are Serb & Ro, but Bul & Serb have had...rather tumultous relations over the years, sometimes being friends & allies, sometimes rivals, sometimes even enemies(also had some wars in the middle ages and probably modern era too I think), and they probably met when they were kinda young children, which in nationverse would be the (early) Middle Ages.

Anyway RoBul date for some time(like. Hundreds of years), then break up, for a bunch of reasons, one of the reasons for this being Serbia in a way?(well they argued bcs of him sometimes). Its way more complicated than that tho

Tbh sometimes Bul was basically the third wheel in his own relationship as Serb & Ro got closer over the years and his relationship with Ro got more strained.

Anyway tho I'm gonna talk less about history and more about their general dynamic! (Mostly cause I dont feel like constantly checking every historical fact i say atm)

Imagine. That couple that is so annnoyingly affectionate and also really chaotic (they might have commited several felonies together) and the most depressed pathetic guy with the soul of an old man who complains all the time yet keeps hanging out with them.

And the guy is kind of their ex too!

That is them!!

Even if he complains at every turn they keep Bul with them cause he has that pathetic whimsy and can be just as chaotic as them.

And Bul keeps hanging out with them cause next to Serb & Ro he appears Normal. And cuz he still loves Ro and might like Serb too

cue him being kinda sad and just,,,,,,thinking about the fact the Ro has moved on while he has trouble doing so right as idk. Serbro is doing fun couple stuff (although what they consider fun couple stuff might involve setting someone's house on fire)

Tbh Ro doesn't like the fact that Serb & Bul don't always get along but he knows he can't like. Force them.

An in a perfect world he'd never have to choose between them. In the past, thought, he would have chosen Bul, bcs of how close they were and how much they shared.

But as time went on, he grew unsure of his relationship with Bul and in the end, he sort of choose Serb, or at least, that's how it felt for Bul.

So there's that too.

There are probably more things I could say about them but my brain isn't cooperating at the moment 😔😔😔

Anyway 10/10 dynamic I think they could be so fun but I honestly don't think about them a lot like this kfjddjdkd (in most of my stories all 3 of them are in some weird dysfunctional polycule or robul is officially dating but both of them have some thing going on with Serb more or less lmao) but just serbro dating and Bul also being there is so interesting to think about thank you lili for asking me this!!!!

[megamanrecut]

I was rereading season 1, which has been very fun, lots of details that stand out more with more context, but there's this one bit with Proto man that shows up more than once that's interesting.

In the first episode, Proto man tells Mega man that "Doc never got around to naming [him]... Too busy with his other inventions." Which is followed up a little during the Mega Pinocchio episode, with Proto man saying he's always been Proto (although not actually saying Dr. Light named him that, which turns out to be true), and when Mega man comments on that sounding a little cold, comments that Dr. Light is "Oblivious to details... I like Proto. It's better than Paaasd or something" (which lol)

Now that I've read the season 0 episode, it caught my eye that the name thing doesn't really get talked about there! Proto names himself very quickly, with no thought or fanfare behind it. Very fitting, but paired with the season 1 lines, I'm trying to puzzle out the incongruity of it (Proto you lying bastard why can't you be easier to understand!!!)

On one hand, if the subtle but present implication that Proto might feel bitter about his name is a retcon, it's one that I wouldn't have spotted if I hadn't reread season 0 recently. It's also just as likely that I'm reading into a set of lines that were just meant to be snarky, he definitely does that a lot too lol.

But I am curious if there's some level of truth to that sort of bitter undertone that I thought was implied! Proto man is a difficult character to understand, especially in season 1, and in general when trying to understand his feelings towards Dr. Light. Their relationship is so interesting to me, so sorry if I really did just read way too deep into it haha!

There was a slight perhaps retcon! (sorry this took awhile, limited internet access atm, also this is long/rambly lol)

I wrote season 0 waaay after season 1 (between Master of Disaster Part 2 and 3 to be exact) and in original s0 drafts, the naming thing didn’t happen as early, but when I finally began editing it that seemed unnecessarily weird/creepy for Dr. Light. So, instead the name thing came up on Proto’s activation day. Some of the emphasis around Proto’s name in S1 (particularly E1) was for dramatic irony.

So for character analysis:

Outside of that, still same deal with Dr. Light/Proto, just more focused on char divisions over specific, resolvable drama. The whole dynamic between Dr. Light and Proto has always been strained at best to total estrangement at its core, and sometimes painful to write. Dr. Light was never really in the wrong, Proto just developed into his own person that wanted nothing to do with ‘domestic human life’ or to have any type of authority figure. Its a huge philosophical difference, but its also a son who feels smothered and hopeless rejecting his loving father who tried his best to understand but could never make it work in time. That dynamic still exists, unsolved, in the good!Proto AUs (Master of Disaster Part 3, Become the Night)

Still, Proto isn’t really bitter by Dr. Light’s actions per se, he was just bitter about living under his roof where he was bored and under stimulated. Even Mega was surprised by this at first. In Mega-Pinocchio he was expecting a specific drama lead to Proto’s defection then was surprised when Proto also denied that Dr. Light really did anything wrong, and even reassured the naming thing didn’t bother him (I had already written the ‘naming’ scene in season 0, which remained unchanged, just happened earlier) It wasn’t until Future Shock when he began understanding Proto a little.

Either way tho, Proto wasn’t really bitter about his name (at least there was never intended bitter subtext there, but can be interpreted however!) I think in a way even if Dr. Light *had* given him a name (like Blues?) he would have been quick to drop that when he became Proto Man (kinda like how he thinks ‘Break Man’ is cringy in Become the Night or how Elec Man calling him ‘Light’ drives him nuts). He doesn’t really like the connection, and would prefer to have no name or a generic one over one picked for him by Dr. Light.

[ambalambs]

Don't think I didn't see your tags about Miko's Azem. I need to know all about them! Do you have a name for them? What kind of personality do they have? How do they get along with Hades, Hythlodaeus, Venat, Hermes, Themis, et al. How would they get along with Miko and how are they similar and how are they different?

Oh geeze the cats out of the bag, I do have an azem concept for Miko xD his name is Dionysus! Or Dio for short to his friends. I see him being a pretty energetic guy who strives to live for excitement and fun and just loves being around people. You'd just rarely find him alone or not busy with something.

Im gonna put the rest under a break just in case I get carried away here lol

So basically he's a super cheery and approachable guy but he is definitely someone you wouldn't want to get on his bad side. He has a habit of coming up with unorthodox ideas and if someone decides to hurt him or someone he cares about he will take joy in making them suffer lol but he's usually a sweetheart otherwise! But yeah just he's got of a bit of a deranged quirk to him like I mentioned about the butterfly concepts in those tags you clearly saw xD but most of the time it's harmless ideas. For example he'd probably ask if he could give a caterpillar concept two heads, and when asked why he'd even want to do that he'd reply with something like "so it wouldn't feel lonely 🥺". And just in general I kinda see him being a little creature at times like there's no doubt Hades has had to pluck a few leaves or twigs out of his hair before they go into a meeting. Boy is a free spirit lol

As for relationships he is closest to hythlodaeus. I feel like during the whole final days stuff when he learns of hyth's sacrifice it was most likely the final straw to break him. Just based on canon tho he'd of course also be friends with Hades. He'd take immeasurable joy in pestering him lol but he'd know the limit and only push his buttons on a good day. Themis would be like a little brother to him and possibly an awful influence in most of the other convocation member's eyes lol as for Venat he would've definitely looked up to her as a mentor and since she was a kindred spirit when it came to relations with the people and exploring he felt extremely comfortable with her. He'd always talk her ear off about his wild ideas or things he'd see/experience on his travels. Im not sure if he'd have ever had a deeper relationship with hermes tho beyond just "this is a guy I work with and he seems sad so im gonna chat him up when I see him, maybe show him a cool bird concept ive been cooking up. He seems to like birds." Lol

I do have this idea, or theory I guess, that venat told azem about the whole future stuff with hydaelyn and zodiark and the final days at some point. And this would've been devastating for him to learn and hard to accept and why he left the convocation and everything behind. He'd have been angry having to sit aside and let fate play out as it must so I think that really strained his relationship with Venat and of course Hades. I could go on deeper about all that probably but idk how atm lol but it does play into how I feel like he'd feel about miko.

Like if they were to meet i feel like there would be a deep sadness and resentment for miko. Dio would just take one look at him and wonder "why you?". But there'd also be respect. That something so small, just a piece of himself, could continue on and accomplish all that miko has. And to witness all the love and compassion and hope and courage in this little shard would eventually sway him and Dio would come to love miko, not as a piece of himself but as his own person. Ngl I'd love an azem vs wol battle to test their worth or something xD I feel like thatd be fun. But yeah I mean there are small similarities between them if one knew where to look. They both have that joyous nature and are good with people. Their ability with song. Dio is just more unhinged than Miko is in like Miko doesn't take joy in fighting or hurting others even if they've wronged him and he's more chill than Dio is in general I think lol if that all makes sense.

Also im gonna be bold and share a basic concept doodle I did of him just cuz I needed to get an idea out of what he'd even kinda look like. So this is all subject to change but I do see him at least having long hair with this color and silver eyes.

[rogutts]

i saw your recent post regardding bersubbles...just curious but do you have any dynamic in specific for them?

HMM i rlly only have kinda baseline stuff for them atm but ive been trying a few different things out for them and just generally feeling out what i like for them hehe

i feel like berserk is someone who isn’t really used to hearing many compliments, she has her sisters of course, but i like to think their relationship is a little strained. so when she meets someone like bubbles, who is this super kind girl, i think she’s kinda lovestruck!! i think though when berserk first gains this crush on bubbles, she overthinks a lot of her interactions with her. like if bubbles is just being nice i think berserk would be all “does she like me???” but i think that’s kinda a normal reaction when you like someone.

i haven’t rlly thought about it much past this but im still working on it!! i like to also think they’re both 2 weirdos who flock together lmaoxjs

[sapphicautistic]

My incisions are all across like my lower belly around my belly button and I'd expected some to be up like near or on my ribs so I had an inaccurate picture about which muscles I'd need to avoid using too much for awhile.

But I'm finding the advice I solicited on my big blog (about which of my mobility aids will strain my incision sites) is still really helpful. My rollator has been invaluable esp since walking at all seems to strain my incision sites but I need to do it for circulation etc reasons.

Walking with the rollator actually feels like it's straining the sites less than when I tried walking with the cane? And esp compared to the few steps I've taken unassisted. Not sure why that would be so though.

I think I could self propel my clunker wheelchair on hard floors rn but I don't have to go far rn fortunately so the walker is sufficient atm and moving my torso at all while sitting is very painful/feels like it's pulling on things so I'm glad I have the option of not using it!

I haven't fallen down once since surgery!! (close call at the hospital but I landed on the bed and wasn't injured so it doesn't count) which my gf has been very concerned about cuz I am a fall risk in general, and I'm high as balls on the pain meds so even clumsier and a fall now could reopen my incisions.

I had to eat soup and take meds after my gf's p usual bedtime last night and she got out of bed and heated up my soup and hung out with me while I ate it 😭 she was worried I'd hurt myself, she's been really sweet taking care of me!!

I do think she was right and I maybe overdid it yesterday walking around (w rollator) in an attempt to improve circulation/ work out the air they blew into me to have more working space around my organs. Bedtime last night was kind of brutal on the same dose that felt like overkill earlier in the day.

I had actually emailed my doc to see if I could take half a pill instead of the 1-2 pills prescribed, like if it's safe to cut these in half, bc in the afternoon I was just super high on one and my pain was totally ignorable when not moving. But yeah at bedtime I seriously debated taking a second one cuz my pain was not controlled.

It eventually calmed down enough that I got to sleep though and managed to avoid taking more and even skipped a dose in the night cuz I fell asleep 20 minutes before I could've taken it and wasn't aware of any pain so that ended up being ok.

But this morning I woke up way too early just to pee and after getting up and moving the pain was awful so I took another dose in hopes I'd go back to sleep.

I'd been hoping to wait till my normal breakfast time but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯maybe tomorrow it'll work! Or the next day lol

I think my schedule is gonna be kinda fucked up for awhile!

[ouroborosman]

brainrot ideas brainrot ideas

Sound the alarm, fellas.

The Wally actor AU is consuming my life atm so here's some ideas for my self insert~

~Actor Wally and Jay ideas!~

Just general lore, Jay isn’t actually regularly employed by the Welcome Home company(?). She covers for people when they call in, usually tasked with prop creation, costume designing, etc. Craftier things like that.

It embarrasses the hell out of Jay, but she tears up when getting yelled at, no matter what. It makes the already hectic work environment on set worse for her

Wally would probably end up seeing this and go off on the person.

Jay’s grateful, but is like ‘hey can you not do that again it just draws more attention to me that I don’t want ;w;”

And wally’s like >:I

(Jay and Wally already in a relationship at this point, he sees her dinky little apartment for the first time)

Wally, forcing a smile, “it’s so…”

Flashback to his mansion, then back to Jay’s apartment in front of him

“...quaint?”

Jay probably gradually developed a crush on Wally as she worked at the studio, and was pretty excited when Poppy asked about setting Wally up on a blind date with her

Somehow she finds his weird behavior during their date, and lack of relationship experience cute and kinda endearing 

As they get closer and Wally becomes ‘hot and cold’ towards her, it probably puts a strain on their friendship. The days that he’s sweet toward her are nice, but Jay is terrible at reading between the lines in situations and genuinely thinks he doesn’t like her.

If it went on for too long, she would probably eventually confront him like, “What the hell, why do you ignore me sometimes? Do you hate me? If you’ve only been pretending to be my friend, please don’t bother anymore”

Does Wally admit his feelings to her? Does he double down and sever their friendship? OOooh who knows~?

(In a relationship) With as much as he has to do everyday, Wally is used to getting up around 5am to get started on things

Jay, with unreliable employment and frequent late nights to meet work deadlines, has a terrible sleep schedule

Jay wakes up in Wally’s bed (or in her own room in his house idk) to the sound of him coming home. He walks into the room she’s in to grab something.

Jay: “Oh hey, are you getting ready to leave for work?”

Wally: “Uh, no. I just came by to grab something, it’s 12pm. Are you just waking up?” Jay:”...”

Jay:”no..” rolls over and goes back to sleep

[evintide]

✧.   get to know the author !

name : zeta

pronouns : she / her

preference of communication : im’s via tumblr atm! i’m on discord but i am EXTREMELY shy so that is currently saved for mutuals at the moment.

most active muse ( s ) : as of right now midna is my main gal! though i’ve been feeling very tempted to pick up lumine since it’s been awhile. i have a few other muses that are burning a hole in my pocket (along with an oc or two) but they’re either a) a passing fancy or b) i feel... way too embarrassed to even think about offering them to anyone. LOL.

experience / how many years : as if i didn’t feel old enough turning 30 in June LMAO... i would wager at LEAST twenty or so years at this point, but i’ve had a lot of irl things that took me away from writing for stretches at a time during all of that.

best experience : hooo this is hard... probably back when i was writing in my original fandom and i found a writing partner with an awesome au that i just clicked with really with. we don’t talk much any more but i still care for them deeply, and i loved working off their ideas. we even had a single thread that continued for MONTHS. wild to think that i had the mental stamina for that! also i was in a group chat (same muse) and someone mentioned that our thread (albeit a short one) felt very in character and i was just. beyond touched at the time. small things like getting asks and stuff were always a big treat too! (and still are!!)

rp pet peeves : when people don’t give me anything to work off of. rp is a two way street, and while i know not every reply has to be a novel or move the characters in a certain way every time, if i’m left carrying the scene on my own it dries up my interest very quickly. also, not fully rp related but over complicated blog themes. i love themes! coding is absolute wizardry to me and people who can make and/or edit stuff beautifully are magic! but if i have to highlight the page to try and see where links are or have to copy/paste text onto a text document due to eye straining colors? nah dog. i’m outtie.

plots or memes : i ADORE plotting! not every detail has to be hashed out but getting a feel for the direction for the rp or if there’s some sort of idea you’d like to talk about and experiment through writing? LET’S GOOOOO!! though that can also easily be brought up or be inspired by memes so! kinda both? is that an acceptable answer?? i’m admittedly prone to getting super hyped to talk about plots and then... have my mind go blank from a stage fright response, LMAO. so having memes to work off of can be INCREDIBLY handy for me. the two more or less go hand in hand in my book!

are you like your muse ( s ) : yes and no? IT’S A BIT HARD TO EXPLAIN. but at  least one thing midna and i share is that we care very deeply but expressing it, especially through words is. very difficult. or we make it more difficult than it should be. :,D at the very least i know for a fact ALL of them would disown me the minute i started spitting puns (which is very, VERY often.)

tagged by. @hyruin thank you friend! ♥

tagging. @riwrite @twilitae @cyclebound @legendryhero @silenthime @calamight and anyone else that reads this! >:D

[merfy-official]

Cactus, edelweiss, ivy, and papyrus for the ask game? :O <3

Ooooo good picks!! Also thanks for the ask Bun! You’re so sweet! <3

For Cactus: I am (in school) learning about weaving and knitting!! It’s a cool art project my teacher put together for me and the class! I’m not done with mine but I will be soon!

For Edelweiss: My user? Well in all honesty, it’s for something special I haven’t started on yet. I wanted to write a big giant 100,000K+ blah blah blah word story about my (somewhat toxic, yanderish, crazy, impulsive, self-indulgent—) OCs and their ‘love lives’. Moogus is the protag, and for easy recognition as the creator, I put it as my user! <3 (feel free to dm for more details, I wrote some drabbles on them and I wanted feedback without posting them on a broad platform)

For ivy: Oh my tells huh?? Good one. I like to try and be easy to read, (or not, depends on the mindset atm) so if I’m happy, I’m not exactly smiling, but my mouth isn’t downturned a light tone of voice accompanied by upturned eyes and a genuine response to anything that goes on. If I’m annoyed, it’s usually the opposite. Cut eyes, (itchy hair too, might I add.) small grimace, twitchy fingers, and usually a snark or snap in response to anything, especially if I’d consider it a ‘waste of time’ (i.e how ya doin? Sup? Whatcha doin? What’s on yer mind? Etc.) Annoyed and upset differ only slightly. When I’m upset, there’s the sauntering, and dragging of feet, avoidance of light and people, and glaring daggers into your back. (Bottom line, bad mood, do not approach.) When I’m tired I sleep lol. (Guess you didn’t really specify which emotions, so I just did the four from the prompt! I hope you have a general idea of what I tend to act like now.)

For papyrus: Hmmm haven’t tried that yet, —quickly boots up laptop and shuffles— ok so the first one that came up was ‘My Ordinary Life’ by The Living Tombstone. I like the fact that I relate to it so much… for like the longest time I’ve been the best at everything I do, mainly academics. And because of that, my own success has me in a chokehold kind of. I don’t make a lot of friends, and I’m always straining to be polite, staying one my toes. It’s weird, like I’m so great in my one little area, when there are three things that make it seem kinda worthless. A: it’s clearly easy for me to lose that (demonstrated by my peers) B: no value in the real world (who actually uses algebraic theories and quadratics unless that’s your job or something) C: it’s such a small confined area lol. And while the song may only reflect this shallowly, I think it means a lot. Because it’s really, really, just kinda calling me out lol.

(Very, very sorry if this is tmi… didn’t wanna make a trauma dump out of an ask game…)

[brick-a-doodle-do]

Well thank you!

How come you're gonna attack my ask box? 👀

I'mma use this to give you a short paragraph now:

Idk if you really got what I was asking completely but I'm gonna do what I meant regardless

(btw your thing being in light mode is a curse to my eyes when I see the screenshots lmao)

Paragraph:

This game had been going on for a while now. The two had been trying to get at each other for similar reasons. Except now night had fallen and the larger was asleep for once, prompting the smaller to sneak grab their sharpened, blade like needle, and head out there. They ran across the floor and expertly got onto the table. Only after jumping the gap to the bed did they start to sneak, being as quiet as possible. Once to the target, the back of the neck, they raised the needle and swung it down to plunge it into the skin...but it never happened. A hand reached around and grabbed them in a loose fist, the larger's crimson eyes staring up after they rolled into their back, holding the smaller above their face. The chilling, cold voice calmly enthused, "Seems I won our little game." Whelp. Guess this was karma for trying a sneak attack.

—

I will stop there but I fully combined both of what you mentioned mwahahaha

I love combing two things into one

It could be an au of my original idea...but I mainly didn't mean both the borrower and human being vampires, only one. I don't really think vampires could feed off each other very well. Maybe as a fill in for not having human blood? Hope you like the paragraph I gave you tho...you can do with it what you wish, and yes, I purposely didn't go to the noms part, suffer

(Not rly I just didn't want to put the first attempt in a random paragraph I didn't really intend to continue atm)

Enjoy the paragraph of a story that I didn't detail as much as I could have :P sneak peak of how I write books

yes of course! and i meant i'd attack your askbox with any ideas i had. so like in a /pos way :D

ooooh treated immediately :0 a treat!!

oh my godddd light mode. i have so much to say about this, so just bear with me,,,

i have tried SO many different modes on computer. i LOVE goth rave and could DEFINITELY get used to it, but the activity box! it's so bright!! i have to strain my eyes to even see text 😭 and dark mode i have the same problem with, also it's too dark. low contrast mode looks like it's fucking underwater, cement is WAY too bright, cybernetic is kinda cool but again the activity box sucks and pfps don't go well with the colors (and that pisses me off), canary is blinding, ghost is worse, vampire is cute but the ACTIVITY BOX MY EYES IT'S SO GREY WTF, pumpkin is alr but the orange is overpowering and THE ACTIVITY BOX!!!!!!, snow bright sucks, and pride is just way too wild. so true blue for the win! i will sit with goth rave and see if i can live with it, but for now i'm sticking with light mode as painful as it is (fyi i don't have light mode for ANYTHING else if that eases the pain <3)

OKAY now that that's out of the way!

OHHHHH 3D I LOVE THIS! I LOVE HOW YOU MIXED BOTH PROMPTS TOGETHER AND AJDSJFJ I AM BEGGING FOR MORE SOON! JUST A CRUMB! FEED THE POOR!!!!

ohh okay sorry i totally misinterpreted that :') oh my god totally i didn't even think of that i am stupid for not realizing that would just NOT work DSJFGFJSD

i do love it!!! i'm already hype for more :D

and mmm creative process sneak peak!! fun fun :> and no hard feelings for not wanting to waste your first nom writing on a paragraph that'll be showcased on my blog AAJFD i totally get that lmao

[timmymyluv]

rosie updates

hi all! ik its been a hot minute since I’ve posted any fics/soc med aus in part of my recovery from my surgery. ty for all the well wishes i have been healing well with round the clock meds and most of my day sleeping in. 

with my bandages off now at the tenth day, they’re a little sore atm but your kindness and companionship during these times have given me much strength. ive been trying to write but also putting boundaries with myself to put my health first, understanding writing is a respite and escape for me to relax/enjoy but also not straining myself. 

 point blank, ive been having a hard time finding writing inspo (just been focusing on saturating my mind manifestation wise, dw if ur not into that kinda thing but yeah) so i figured out i’ll do more reading to bide my time and i think it’ll help me find inspo again once i return back to my drafts/wip. 

love you all and miss you guys. my inbox is always open (i take time to get to ur requests as i am a recovering perfectionist lol but i will get to it i promise and i always make sure to deliver quality and wont publish things half heartedly)

[pertinax--loculos]

Find the Word Tag

Poking my head back in here momentarily, because I got this tag the other day and I do really love this game. ^_^ @thegreatobsesso​ tagged me to find free, freeze, friend, front and frame.

Because this gets a little long, up here I’m gonna tag back @thegreatobsesso​, and also @spacetimewraithwrites​, @kd-holloman​, @dontjudgemeimawriter​, @inkovert​, and @oh-no-another-idea​ to find the words believe, bargain, betray, blind and bristle.

Now cuz I’m kinda between projects I’ve pulled these from a variety of sources, so let’s have a look...

Free (MTG)

Kain parries the blow with a conservation of energy that makes it look like he hardly moves, and then he has a grip on Travers's wrist and a hand wrapped in the front of his shirt and they're nose-to-nose, Travers's free arm flailing but not coming close to making contact.

"You ever turn your back on me like that again," Kain says, in a silky whisper Sheila has to strain to hear, "It'll be the last thing you fucking do."

Travers sneers as he struggles, but whatever Kain's doing to his wrist is still stopping him from properly lashing out. "Get over yourself. I'm not scared of you."

Kain smiles, and it's an ice-cold promise wrapped in soulless eyes and too-sharp teeth. "You should be."

Freez(ing) (CASCADE -- though technically this is from a prequel-ish scene, I’m just on a Flint/TJ kick atm)

“Teej,” [Natasha] breathed near his ear. “We gotta do something or we’re gonna end up like his first Handlers.”

The reaction was instinctual; TJ’s heart skipped a beat, and the spike of anxiety made him reach for the Orn, unthinking, automatic. It wasn’t like the location of his flow would be any help in this situation, but with Moran teetering on the edge of an explosion, he had to try something. Everything, if necessary. So he reached for the Orn, took hold of a thread, and pushed it towards Moran.

He gasped like he’d been hit, freezing for only half a second this time before he swayed. TJ blinked, thrown.

“Oh god,” Moran said, breathless, toneless.

TJ risked a glance over his shoulder to Natasha, who looked just as bewildered as he felt. He sensed Moran’s movement and with his hand already in the Orn threw another thread towards him as he turned back, again more out of instinct than intent.

Moran swayed again, a weird sort of sound that wasn’t quite a chuckle breaking up out of his chest as he tipped forward, bracing himself on his knees. TJ could see his shoulders move as he sucked in air as if he’d been drowning.

“Moran?” he said carefully. “You good?”

Friend (CASCADE, proper, though still on the aforementioned kick)

As he’d assured Natasha – which apparently was the wrong thing to do, but what the fuck else was new – Flint hadn’t gone too far. He’d stopped at the mouth of the alley, standing with his shoulder propped against the concrete wall, looking out onto the street proper.

TJ glanced over his shoulder to check the others were still following at a much slower pace, and then moved up beside him cautiously. He was very careful to stay out of Flint’s range.

Unnecessarily careful, if he was honest with himself.

“Your boyfriend’s a dick.”

Flint’s voice was utterly without inflection, but TJ only just managed to hide his wince.

“He’s not—” He cut himself off with an effort, sucked in a deep breath, waited a beat. The ache behind his eye started right on schedule. “What the fuck was that?”

“You ask me that a lot,” Flint said, still toneless.

TJ started to raise his hand, caught himself too late. He hesitated then pressed the heel of his palm into his eye anyway. No use trying to hide it. “You do a lot of things that beg the question.”

“So do you.”

Front (MTG)

Ethos shudders under the weight of it. He loses himself, briefly, in the specifics; he sees faces tear-streaked and blurred, he sees begging and crying and resolute stoicism. He sees bargaining and pleading and curses spat at the feet of the executioner. He sees a stay rewarded for information but the future doesn't change; the line simply extends a little further before it snaps abruptly not too long after. It's impossible to tell why. The condemned doesn't know.

This is a room full of the walking dead. And none of the decisions they have at hand can change it.

"Ethos," Casimir says, and Ethos thinks it's probably not the first time he's said his name.

He tries to pull himself back, away from the heady visceral taste of death. He twists his hands in front of him and focuses on the scratch of the rope against his wrists. It pulls him back far enough that he sees Casimir standing, once again, with his hand on the elevator door.

God. How is he ever going to sleep with this racket in his head?

Frame (from TSII, which is one of the new projects I’m flirting with. From the first scene, which incidentally is one of the two whole scenes I’ve written for this ahaha. :D)

“Shut up.” I spun around to stare down the fire escape again. It led down to a spit of an alley running between the tall redbrick buildings, not even wide enough for a car to get down. Some sort of old access path. Rust flaked from the railing and stairs and metal grate of a landing directly below the window, and the entire structure shook as Caden apparently jumped a few steps a couple of floors below us. “He’s getting away.”

Ilya sighed again. “I suppose you want me to follow him down the death trap of an exit strategy?”

I turned back to him. Gave him a gratuitous sweep with my eyes, head to toe, taking in the paraphernalia festooned across his utility belt, the muscles cording his arms beneath the skintight black shirt, the black beanie stamped with a gym logo mostly covering his dirty blonde hair. Made sure to crane my neck when I looked at that, to emphasise that I had to look up to see the top of his head.

“Yes,” I said. “Yes I do.”

Ilya grinned, slammed the knife home into its spot on his belt, and practically shoved me out of the way as he climbed out the window. He hesitated most of the way out, one leg still hitched over the sill, fingers wrapped around the frame. He said, “It’s an alley. It has two ends.”

I rolled my eyes and started for the door.

[southern--downpour]

in other news i got the body of the first octokitten prototype done! gonna do the ears & tentacles tomorrow when hopefully im not tired and my back doesnt hurt like a bitch lmao