#also side note but while i was looking up images. WHO WAS GONNA TELL ME THAT THERE WAS A ZATCH NENDOROID

[d4rk-x-w0lf-17]

actually sobbing as i rewatch the second zatch bell movie again for the billionth time and realize that the vulcan robot throughout the movie is speaking with kiyo's voice while speaking and learning about friendship and togetherness, something that zatch helped kiyo with and learn throughout the series, which in turn made kiyo make vulcan for zatch

they're fucking peak siblings and peak found family

[dilf-docs]

Hand To Heart (I'm Gonna Stay Faithful)

bfd!joel miller x younger!reader

summary: a pregnancy scare makes you realize just how deep you are in this.

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap, smut, p. in v., pregnancy scare, fingering (WE GET IT U LIKE IT), bit of praise kink, humilliation kink, breeding kink (they're stupid and insane acc), dacryphilia, sex thru the looking glass (there's a mirror in reader's dorm), ANGST in capital, they're starting to catch the feels™ ur honor, hurt/comfort, plot thiccens, this people are clearly NOT in a good headspace btw idk we listen read and don't judge.

word count: 4,757 words

side note: everyone calling this joel nasty but thirsting after him too? was going to hold a trial over my citizens but yk... what the hell, sure! i too want nasty bfd!joel to ruin me: he can be my baby daddy who doesn't pay for child support of our 4 kids and we'd make way to bed for our 5th LET'S GO also spam time! but i also happen to write in wattpad, and got a pedro pascal social media fic going on :) it's on spanish tho, but if u speak the language and would like to tune in, u can read it here

part: prev | masterlist | next

It's a regular Tuesday when his phone rings at ten in the morning.

"Dad"

Joel gets up from his desk in a brash move, immediately picking up his daughter's worried tone. Tommy bursts inside, telling him to calm down, but all Joel can hear is the anxious beat in his chest.

"What's it, babygirl? You okay?" his throat tightens. "Talk to me"

There's silence before she answers, as if she's unsure to continue.

"It's not me" he feels his muscles relaxing, but then Sarah drops the bomb. "It's y/n"

Joel's heart beats with a different type of worry.

"What's wrong with her?" voice firm but emotionless.

It's almost summer again, and he's still seeing you. In a way, you had carved a space for yourself in his cold heart, so naturally, fear settles in. He'd never admit this things out loud, though.

"I don't know, dad" his daughter starts to rush the words out, panic evident on her voice. "She has locked herself in the bathroom and won't stop crying. I-I didn't know who else to call"

"Don't worry" but it sounds like he's trying to convince himself. "M' comin'. S'anyone else in there?"

There's a pause on the line before she answers.

"No"

He thinks of you. He'd seen you cry before, of course, but it'd been over silly childish stuff, like getting sent to bed early or not getting what you wanted for Christmas.

He thinks of you. Images of your pretty face, etched in pain, make his stomach drop. It isn't fair: your face was one destined to be happy for eternity, your smile so contagious Joel would sometimes find himself surrendering to your juvenile joy, his crow feet a little more notorious since you entered his life and carved your space on it by force; a light in the dark.

He just couldn't bear to see a mirror of his dullness on your face. It wasn't right.

"Stay put. I'll be there"

He tries not to think about your eyes drained of life. He tries not to think he's the cause. And then, he hangs.

As soon as Joel enters your dorm, your perfume is up his nostrils, providing him with a sense of relief he didn't know he needed. It was comforting and familiar, words that used to be hollow now carrying a knowing feeling that stung right on his chest.

"Dad" Sarah calls out, going for a hug. Joel embraces his daughter tightly while caressing her hair. "I'm so glad that you're here. I didn't know what to do"

"Breath in, babygirl. S'alright" he looks at your door, closed. Broken sobs can be heard, and his wounded heart feels like a heavy burden on his chest.

"My class starts in ten" Sarah speaks against the fabric of his flannel, "but I just couldn't leave her like this"

His daughter has a good heart. At least one of them did, anyway.

"Go to your class" he's commanding before he can fully process what he said.

Sarah breaks the hug, looking at him with a look he can't quite place.

"What? But, dad-" she tries to protest, concerned for your wellbeing.

"I'll take care of it. Always do, haven't I?" he sees her hesitation, and afraid of where her doubts would take her, Joel adds a small joke in there. "Y'know those classes ain't free, kid. Go ahead"

"Okay" she gives up. "Just... tell me if anything happens, yes?"

"F'course. Trust me"

"I trust you"

He still remembers when Sarah's kindergarten teacher handed him that drawing: Joel was wearing a cape, and she said his little girl had told everyone in class his dad was a superhero because there was nothing he couldn't do. That same admiration and faith is there in her eyes, even as the small naive kid slips from his fingers and turns into the woman that stands before him. He's not the devil, but the worst father in the world, and that is pretty much the same to him.

When Sarah is out of your dorm, he's trapped inside the small room with your heavy crying on the other side of the door. He looks at the small place, thinking about all the times he's sneaked inside during the night, hiding like a criminal as you wait for him behind the door full of scrapped stickers, ready to capture his lips with an eagerness that gnaws his chest.

Now it's just him and your sobs, his terrified reflection displayed in the mirror in front of your bed, mockingly staring back.

What are you doing? it questions, and Joel, always ready to answer, has suddenly lost the ability to speak.

Forcing himself out of such a pitiful state, he approaches the door, knocking softly.

"Sarah" your hoarse voice speaks up, and just then, he realizes how much he loves hearing your voice, no matter how it sounds. "Don't you have classes to go to? Leave me, please. I promise I'm good, I-"

Joel hears your distress, so he interrupts what looks like the start of a nervous rambling wreck. Huh, doesn't he know you so well?

"Sarah's gone" a beat, "It's me, Joel"

As if you wouldn't recognize that deep voice even if you were deaf.

There's silence before the door flings open, surprising Joel, who takes a step back, barely noticeable to the rest, but obvious to you, who has spent hours admiring him and all his small movements, he who you could draw by memory and built in your head as real as he who was standing before you, his eyes circling with a whirlwind of emotions you can't quite place, yet make your heart race.

Joel takes in the sight of you, deciding it's unfair how good you look, despite your disheveled hair, run mascara and red-rimmed eyes: you are still the prettiest sight he's ever seen, and now he doesn't know what scares him the most.

"You're wearing my shirt" he says out loud his latest discovery. It's all he manages to say: not an are you okay? nor an what's wrong?

No, Joel just happens to be very stupid(ly in love).

"Sarah didn't see me" you hug the fabric that makes your frame look smaller, or maybe it's your tired composture that makes it seem that way, avoiding Joel from enjoying the way his shirt looks on you. "If that's what you wanted to know. Been inside there for hours, already was when she came by"

The fact that you rather explain and assure him of his supposed possible worries instead of sharing your own, makes his stomach tie on a knot. Were you too kind or perhaps selfless? Maybe just stupid(ly in love).

Joel grunts, and you're not sure if it's his way of dissmissing your comment (maybe he thinks you're lying), chastising you in a shallow manner or the fact that you're poorly trying to avoid the elephant in the room. Maybe he thinks you're still a foolish careless child who can't comprehend the weight of whatever it is you're doing by being with your bestfriend's dad behind everyone's back.

"Tell me" he gets closer to you, fingers on your cheeks, but they don't dig the skin, instead, his roughness hiding a surprising tenderness to them. "What happened, y/n?"

The rawness in his voice takes you by surprise. Joel Miller, who seemed a man impossible to waver, now stood before you, wrapped in a gloom that left you at loss for words, something akin to hope planting it's seed on your heart.

"Tell me" he demands, yet his pupils move as unsteady as your heart. There's no power for command in his voice, only what you could allude to helplessness.

Was it because you were putting up walls like he did?

Was it because the consequences of being with you are starting to dawn upon him?

Whatever it is, you don't like it.

"What's wrong?" he's pushing for an answer softly, such a contrasting image to that of him in bed. "Please, talk to me"

Please.

The words slip past his trembling lips, defenses crumbling.

Joel Miller hasn't pleaded since Sarah's mother packed her bags and walked out of their shared home. He promised himself he would never be vulnerable again, never at the feet of a loved one, beggin to be seen.

To be heard. To not be hurt. To be loved.

But here you were, red eyes blown wide at a confession spoken through other words.

Please.

Your chest feels heavy, breath constricted.

"Joel..." you utter his name like a prayer. As something to believe in; something to hold.

He rushes to your side, strong arms caging around you as your labored cries fill the tiny room.

"S'alright" he whispers against your ear, burying his face on your shaking shoulder. "M' right'ere, doll"

Your hold turns more desperate, practically clinging as if your life depended on it.

"Take your time, y/n" your name so soft, you feel like crying more. "I ain't goin' anywhere"

"Promise me" you whimper, holding tightly.

"I won't go" he assures. There it is, the same unwavering strength you know. It's for you, he thinks.

"Joel" you call out again, tone terrified. "I think I'm pregnant"

It takes him at least a minute to speak. Even to breathe.

"...What?"

He feels your erratic pulse against his chest.

"Joel. Look at me"

He doesn't feel your heartbeat anymore. Just then he realizes he's backed down, embrace letting go of yours. Joel takes in your eyes, shimmering with new tears and fears.

"Joel?"

"I'm here" his voice sounds like it belongs to someone else, and the reminder like it's for himself.

"I know" your small voice speaks up, "but, just- please, look at me"

Joel holds your gaze, and it's like your air supply as been cut.

We don't want this.

"Are you sure?" Joel asks cautiously, as if you were a small animal he's afraid to scare.

"No" you breath in. "I bought the test, but I couldn't take it... I was, for the very first time in my life, scared. But there's always a first, isn't it? That's when Sarah found me"

There's always a first. You weren't afraid when he pounced you next to his sleeping daughter, neither when you didn't stop coming and he let you in everytime, and absolutely not when he obscenely ate you out while Sarah was on the phone. No, you were brave―brave enough to stand defiant when his conflicting gaze pierced through you, daring you to be the first to leave this mess and forget about him. But you were brave because you stayed, despite it all.

That had to mean something, right?

"You said you wouldn't leave me" it comes out in a shaky breath; a threat. Your voice seethes with a quiet rage. "You promised, Joel"

Like the word promise was a dagger twisting on his insides, not a sacred oath.

So he forces himself to be that hero Sarah still thinks he is. After all, he promised her he's going to solve this, didn't he?

"I did" he runs a hand through his hair. "Got the test with you?" You slowly nod. "Take it, then. I'll wait here"

You don't move from your spot, chest still moving uneven under your labored breaths.

"When you come out, I'll promise I'll still be here"

He can't promise you more. The world? It's what you deserve but not what he can give; Joel can only give so much.

"Okay" your tone is clipped, and that's all you say before entering the bathroom and closing the door behind you.

The room feels smaller than it is, the small plastic stick feeling heavier in your fingers than it actually is. You hear the clock's tick, Joel's frantic pace and your own irrational beat. It feels like a bomb: ready to explode and destroy everything within it's range.

Time drags like a cigarette, walls closing over your shaking pale frame. Your phone has a timer going on, yet for some reason, it feels an end to your beginning. You hug your body, wishing it was Joel's arms doing so.

But you saw it: fear, hesitation. It was on his eyes, auburn cracking like wood under fire. He was weak, and so were you. All of this... it starts to loose it's meaning. What started as a summer fling now falls upon you like a second skin you can't quite wash off, and it's suffocating as much as the enclosed space where a stupid line could change the rest of your life forever.

Joel outside isn't doing much better. He's aware his walking probably set you on edge, so now he's sat at the small bed that dips under his weight. He takes one deep breath, two―then looses count.

How could he be so careless? For a brief moment, why did he let himself believe it could be?

For God's sake: you were his daughter's friend. He had seen you and Sarah play on his house, laughing on his porch, gossiping on her bedroom. Growing up.

He wanted you, a desire so consuming it sometimes kept him up at night, thoughts confusing with something else. Probably fear, probably acceptance.

Joel is aware you changed his life. You, with your wild spirit and obnoxious laugh. You whom he couldn't tear his gaze away when standing in the same room, a magnetic force making the world around you drawn to you and that dangerous allure you had that made it impossible to resist you. To forget you. To live without you.

He feels dirty. A monster. A wolf with an insatiable hunger, sinking his canine teeth on your soft flesh. He'd drink your blood, to always keep a part of you with him; to be one. Like a lamb sent to the slaughter: but you wanted it. You had placed your head inside his jaw; trusting. As if knowing he could devour you, yet he'd never hurt you. Daring, almost.

Show me you can love me. Take a bite. Take me as yours. Mark me. Ruin me for anyone else. My blood, it belongs to you. This isn't a sacrifice―this is love.

When you exit the bathroom, hand holding the pregnancy test, it's all clear to him.

For a moment even, Joel forgets there's a world outside and sees a small baby: they have your smile, your eyes―and nothing of him, because you're the sun of his moon, the light of his darkness, and that baby is a mirror of you and your beauty. You and your warmth, devoid of his cold and far from where his filth can taint it. They have to look like you, because you are the most beautiful person in the world, and suddenly, the idea one more of you is possible, makes it feel like just you isn't enough.

"It's negative"

For the second time in the day, Joel is rendered speechless. His gaze is trained on the floor, lost in thought. Besides his lack of an answer, whatever he's thinking makes you nervous.

"Joel, are you okay?" you call out.

He swallows the lump on his throat, pose awkward before he moves next to your bed.

"M' fine, baby. C'mere" he sits over it again, motioning with his hand the empty spot next to him. Joel's embrace is warm, like it shields you from the cold harsh truth.

"Are you upset?" you ask over the comfortable silence, the underlying tension stretching like a rubber band.

"No" his answer comes quick, "but I won't lie to ya', doll. Thought for a sec and ol' man like me could give a pretty girl like yourself a baby as beautiful as their mamma"

A treacherous pink dusts your cheeks. Had you lost all your common sense? Seconds ago, your life hung by a fragile thread, and now all your body can think is to go for the same risk again. Fuck it.

"Did you? I thought you were too busy freaking out"

Joel lets out a nervous laugh. "M' a busy man, doll. Learned how to do two things at once"

A fire settles in your stomach when his touch lingers over your soft flat belly, longing.

"Hmm, I see" your fingers move from his hold to his collarbone, as they play with the buttons he hasn't wore.

"Y/n" he warns. You stop for a moment, not because you're unsure, but because when you look up, his eyes don't shine with that glint of danger and hunger that gives you the thrills. Instead, they look at you with a fondness he doesn't seem to even realize―the one that gives you the hope of it all.

"I want this" you speak up, voice confident.

"I don't think that's a good idea, doll. What'ya need is-"

"You" your face gets close to his, cutting his words and breath. Joel's adam's apple bobs, your throbbing pussy going through a Pavlovian response, such action an indicator he's surrendered to you, mouth watering at just the thought. "You said you could do two things at the same time, right? The comfort me in the only way you know"

There's hesitation on his eyes, and while you think it's because he's still hung up on the idea this isn't what you need, Joel's mind is stuck in the fact you think he can only warm your bed but not your heart. It's stupid, indeed. It can't affect him that much. Ashamed, he cuts the space hanging between your lips and traps them in a heated kiss.

"Hmh, Joel" your voice barely audible as Joel's fingers grip on your hair, his sleazy tongue sliding it's way into your mouth until you can feel it in your teeth. "Please..."

He chuckles at your neediness. "Please, what?"

"Please" you whimper, feeling your back heat with droplets of sweat under Joel's shirt, the sticky feeling akin to that starting to pool in between your thighs. "Please, make me feel good"

Joel smiles adoringly, moving your body until your legs are up his shoulders. Sure, his knees covered by his dirty worn-out jeans are ruining your fresh laundry, and his joints may crack here and there, but you don't pay mind to this little things: all you care is how he's kissing your bare thighs, his salt and pepper stubble tickling skin that feels more sensitive than ever; burning almost.

"Gon' touch 'tis pretty pussy 'til you forget y'r name, doll" he breathes out. "Will ya' let me?"

You nod eagerly as he helps you get out of your panties, throwing them somewhere around the room. You smack his arm playfully at his rough manners, but then he's pressing his lips with wet ticklish kisses on your legs and laughter bubbles at the tingles it's causing.

"S-stop, Joel!" you beg, legs shaking. Your giggles are contagious, and soon the foreign feeling lifts the corners of his scowl into a smile, a concept becoming more familiar with time.

"I ain't stopping" his fingers then graze your clit, tauntingly. You whine, as Joel doesn't let up on your clit, his calloused digits coated in your arousal. "'Tis what you asked for, baby. So 'm gonna make you feel good. So good until you can't speak nothin' that ain't my name"

The threat feels like a delicious promise, so you tell him you'll behave.

"I wanna try somethin', doll. Wait" you whine at the loss of his fingers inside of you, and then he's moving your body until he's against the wall and you're on the border of the bed. With your eyes, you follow his line of view. "So needy, ain't ya'? Cockhungry slut. Jus' scared the shit out of me and now you want me inside?" he tsks. "Sick fella"

"Joel..." you breath out, desire pooling into your orbs.

"Wanna see you, doll" you see your reflection in the mirror as Joel lowers his head to whisper on your ear, eliciting goosebumps on your skin. "Want you to see yourself, too. How you'll be beggin' for me"

His middle and ring finger dip between your folds as he continues the minstrations, fingers pumping in and out as they graze your moist cunt. They start to go in circles, and even if it's not exactly next to your bed, you can see the mirror begin to fog, whines condensed in the heavy air.

His shirt clings uncomfortably to your body, but you don't care. In a way, he feels even closer to you, as if he was an extension of yourself.

Joel's body radiates heat on it's own, making the room's temperature skyrocket.

You lean your head back onto the mattress, moaning.

"Need ya' to use that pretty mouth of y'rs, doll. Say it" his fingers linger on the dip of your hips, waiting for an answer with a smirk and daring manner. "Say what ya' want; that's if you can"

It takes you a while to speak up, the slippery sound of Joel's coated fingers the only sound to be heard on your dorm.

"I... I need" you whine through labored pants, "I need you, Joel"

I need you, Joel. It's in the heat of the moment, really, yet on that very instant, he makes a silent vow that hangs unspoken in the air.

"Good girl" he bites your earlobe, making a chill run down your spine.

His fingers fuck into you just how you like it: swirling to explore your inner tight walls.

"Fuck. Love how your pussy takes me, doll. 'S mine, isn't it? Say it, say who this pussy belongs to. Who's the only man allowed to have it"

You close your eyes, but the answer comes clear. "You, Joel. Just you"

You whine, feeling him go harder in a new-found confidence. Your nails dig on his biceps, but he doesn't flich, still busy burying his fingers inside your clit as his mouth continues spilling filthy shit you barely can comprehend, mind starting to go numb.

Normally, Joel would make you cum on his fingers, always making sure to lick it after, claiming it was bad manners to leave to waste. But today, the clock ticking in your wall, he knows he must hurry.

"Eager, eh?" you taunt back, seeing how quickly he's pulling down his underwear, guiding the tip of his cock to your entrance.

Your dripping cunt welcomes his cock, tip teasing your entrance.

"Don't" he seethes.

"Don't?" you laugh. "Don't what, laugh?"

His fingers grab your jaw tightly, forcing you to look behind you.

"Don't stop lookin', doll"

Joel slips the tip of his cock into you, his hands grabbing your waist to steady you. He looks at you through the mirror, seeing your dazed eyes, waiting as you bite your lip.

"That's it, good girl" he praises, purring against your ear. You see his face go down and lick the side of your neck before sinking his teeth in it. "Gonna reward you for'at"

Your mouth falls agape when he fully pushes his cock inside of you, burying himself to the limit in the first thrust. You moan, stretch wet pussy trying to adjust to his girth. He groans, his hips moving back and forth with yours, to meet his thrusts.

"R-right there" you whimper, feeling eyes starting to water. It had been a long day, and with his cock buried deep inside you, you can't think of anything else: just him―like this, for the rest of your life; you don't need more. "Fuck, don't stop"

His thumb rubs across your cheekbone, capturing a tear that had slipped past your foggy mind in a brittle moment of vulnerability, brown eyes flickering with something else. It could be.

We could be.

"Fuck, you cryin' over this cock, doll? What'a fuckin' slut" he laughs incredulously, but there's a hidden fondness to it. "S' that how good 'm makin' you feel?"

You can only moan, his dick harder now, his infatuation with your fucked-out state evident in the way his movements become more hectic.

"Can't even speak? What'a dirty minx inside 'tis sexy little body"

"Mhm" you blabber, tears running hot down your cheeks, landing on the mattress in fat droplets, noticeable through the reflection even. Joel stares back at your puffy eyes, devotion pouring at your glossy gaze, coated in a faint red tint, more pronounced from your earlier cries. Fuck. Never did he think your lambent eyes and sniffle sounds could turn him on this much. Something about him being the cause of it has his head spinning.

"New rule" he growls, "you keep those pretty red eyes lookin' at me when you cum"

You whimper at his words, the powerful aura they carry pushing your orgasm closer to the edge. You feel your tight folds clenching around his cock, hands holding to his back while your nails dig in it. You feel yourself approaching your release, multiple tears escaping down your cheekbone. In an obscene gesture, it isn't his thumb but his tongue what removes the wet stream from your body, feeling the salty drops on his tastebuds.

You were already so worked up, it was a matter of seconds before you could cum at any moment. Your walls clench around his length, and before you can process, Joel pulls your body up, caging your tits until they're pressed against his soft chest. You face the white paint of your wall, and Joel can see your back in the mirror as he's still buried inside of you. You gasp at the change in position, all of the sudden, a painfull delicious sensation flooding your senses.

"You're gonna cum, aren't ya', doll?" Joel's asking, hot breath nestled in your neck.

"Hmh" you barely manage to blurt as he fucks into you harder, your arms clutching onto him. You were being so loud now that you were sure you'd get at least one noise complain, hoping it stays there; if they found out not only had you been fucking, but with a fourty year old man who happpened to be the father of your bestfriend, you'd probably get expelled. "So close..."

"You know?" he whispers, voice fragile over the sound of your pants and worked up breaths. "I was scared, ealier. M' sorry you had to see that" your body trembles, making you close your eyes. "But I need ya' to know, for'a moment, I did think about having a kid with you"

Your forehead drips with sweat, mixing with the sodium of your tears.

"Maybe in 'nother life, huh?"

Your heart feels like it's about to burst when he sloppily kisses you, as to prevent any words come out of your mouth―humilliating or full of regret, avoiding the heart ache of a rejection. Joel, for a moment, lets his heart wander off to territories he shouldn't, thinking of things he should leave to be. Joel digs his hole deeper, but he doesn't care: he just wants to be the best grave in your cementery.

"Maybe" you answer, but it sounds like a possibility, the promise of a foolish mind betraying the guarded hidden hope.

"Fuck, Joel" you bury your face against his soft pecs, your orgasm crashing over you. Your whine comes our rather loud, trying to drown the sound against his body. He doesn't stop holding you on his arms, firm; you'd probably fallen if he didn't.

"Wait for me, doll. 'M close"

"Please" you plead, kissing his jaw. "Need you. Want to feel you, Joel"

Not daddy, but his name. I want you. I need you. Want to feel you; for you to fill me. He groans, rhythm sloppy as he crashes his lips into yours. he should stop, especially after today's events, but God, his traitorous head is filled with images of you, belly round with his child, one carved to be the spitting image of you.

Do it.

You moan inside his mouth when you feel him finish inside of you, thick, your fingers running through his dark greying hair damp with sweat.

"M' right here" he says his words from earlier, and you feel yourself hugging him to keep his body next to yours even as he pulls out.

"I know" you hum, arms around his neck. "Thank you for coming"

"What of both?"

You let out a laugh.

"Jesus, Joel" but your tone is devoid of malice, adquiring that layer to it, just like his own. There's a shift in the air, and if you felt it before, now you know there's no point of return. "You sure are something else"

dts: @ann-gell; angél de mi corazón, tkm mucho, gracias por llegar a mi vida, ah.

[kimstills]

i can see you

pairing: aaron hotchner x f!reader summary: "here i was thinking that i was special because you would only look at me with that desperate look on your face, but i see that you give any old man that look, right?” content warnings: jealous!hotch, reader is a panther (aren't we all), bathroom sex, mirror sex, p in v, sexual tension, unprotected sex (r mentions being on birth control but wrap it before you tap it!), rough sex, dirty talk, size kink if u squint, spanking, hair pulling, choking, dom!hotch, sub!reader. word count: 3.9k (y’all this was not supposed to be this long lmao) notes: day 18 of @hotchfiles marchhotchness 'self-image' but also HEAVILY inspired by this post from @softhairedhotch because it made me go FERAL and i love jealous hotch (but pls lmk if taking inspo was okay!!) this is also my first hotch fic ever so pls lmk ur thoughts or any other feedback <333

aaron hotchner was not a jealous man.

he had no right to be jealous over something that technically did not exist or someone that technically was not his.

and although he only had himself to blame for that, he really did wish that you were his. and as much as he was telling himself not to be, he was jealous.

but it wasn’t the typical jealous where he watched you be approached by someone much younger than him—someone your own age instead of his—and by someone who already had him beat in reciprocating that flirtatious energy you often used on aaron himself.

no, this type of jealousy was one that was boosting his ego and making him feel lightweight, albeit the fact that it still made him see red.

it was a typical night out with the rest of the team, all of you having agreed that the eight of you were in need of a couple of drinks after some long weeks of paperwork and back and forth cases.

you were all engrossed in the conversation, but you had left the table to get yourself another refill on your drink and had taken far too long than it normally would have, the rest of the younger members—all besides reid—having decided on hitting up the dance floor throughout the time you hadn’t returned to your seat.

it was practically natural for aaron to look for you in a crowd, but what he hadn’t expected to find was you, sitting in a bar stool on the right side of the bar, being hit up by a man who had to have been a couple of years older than aaron himself.

the front hairs of the man’s head were peeking of several grey hairs, paired with a matching grey beard and an overall radiance that screamed of that older man type that you were apparently into.

the sudden revelation made aaron feel dizzy, the confirmation of your attraction towards older men making his pants tighten as he watched the way you stared up at the man with that sultry look of yours—the one where you were somehow able to perfectly mix mischief and innocence seamlessly together.

while you had used that look on aaron countless times before, times where it had been only you and him alone in his office, way past working hours, he had never done anything about it. but, god, as he watched you do it to someone else, out on the open, there was nothing he was currently regretting more.

aaron’s train of thought was interrupted as he felt someone kick him from underneath the table he sat at, whipping his head to the person in front of him only to find rossi staring at him with a smug look on his face.

he cleared his throat, “what?”

aaron mentally cringed at the way his voice wavered.

“you gonna be done being jealous anytime soon and make a move or are you just gonna sit there throwing daggers at the guy?” dave asked, brows raised.

he took a long sip from his drink, trying to avoid the question for as long as he could as he tried to compose himself, “i don’t know what you’re talking about,”

rossi rolled his eyes, “oh, please, aaron. you don’t have to be a profiler to notice the way you can cut the tension that’s between the both of you with a butter knife,”

aaron’s brows furrowed.

“you have all the confirmation you need right there,” dave pointed his thumb behind him, signaling at you and the man, “if that’s not enough for you, then i’m declaring you helpless at this point,” he let out a sigh, standing from his seat, “i’m going to get another drink and if i find you still sitting here, wallowing in your thoughts after getting my refill, i’ll go up to them and encourage her to go home with the man.”

aaron’s fists clenched at the thought. at the thought of you sprawled on the bed of another man, wearing that same look you had on just now and staring up at him as you—

his body acted faster than his brain did, and before he even had the chance to process what he was doing, he stood from his own stool, not allowing for another moment to pass by as he stormed over to where you and the man were sitting.

from your side of the room, you can see aaron make his way over to you through the peripheral of your vision, the excitement of finally getting a reaction out of him making your heart skip and your thighs press together as you took into count the way his fists clenched and unclenched at his sides.

the pressure you put on your thighs didn’t do anything to relieve the ache you felt in your core as he reached where you sat, coming to stand behind—was his name michael? although the stranger you had began talking to was definitely older than him, aaron was a good several inches taller, towering over the both of you.

he cleared his throat, cutting michael off from whatever he had been talking to you about as he turned around with a raised brow. aaron’s expression didn’t falter, not sparing a single glance at the man as his eyes landed on you, “y/n, can i speak to you for a moment?”

you mentally rolled your eyes. ever the formal one.

michael scoffed from in front of him, angling his body so that he was able to properly glare daggers at your boss, “we were in the middle of a conversation here, if you don’t mind?”

although your attraction for aaron skyrocketed in comparison to the man you had just met, you were thriving off of the jealousy radiating off of the one you wanted the most, the ache in your stomach only growing.

before aaron had the chance to shoot out a reply, you set your hand on michael’s forearm, giving him a small, but sad smile, “i’m sorry, michael,” you butted in, jumping off of the bar stool, “i’ll be right back, okay?”

another scoff comes from michael’s direction, “whatever,” he grabs his drink and rolls his eyes, “don’t even bother coming back,”

ew.

this time you actually rolled your eyes, grabbing at your drink and drowning the rest of it. you shrug, “older men are always a hit or miss,” you mumble, setting the glass down.

aaron’s hand comes to wrap around your wrist, a firm but gentle grip on it as he pulls you close to him, “let’s go,” he seethes in your ear.

you hide a smirk as you follow behind him, letting your body practically flail as you struggle to keep up with him. when he notices your staggered pace, he matches his footsteps with yours, moving his hand from your wrist to your waist as he guides you through the crowd and towards the hallway that lead towards the bar’s restrooms.

the both of you gave a silent thanks at the fact that there was no line, the hallway scarce and dimly lit with the exception of a few people standing together against the walls, either flirting or talking.

“what are you doing?” you ask, standing behind him as he knocks on one of the doors, his grip on your waist still very much present.

“you’ll see,” he mumbles, yanking the door open by the knob after no one replies and pulling the both of you inside before slamming the door shut behind him.

you try to take a good look at the interior of the bathroom, trying to guess if it was a good enough place to do whatever the two of you were about to do.

a faint gasp escapes your lips as you feel something hard press into your ass, immediately melting as one of aaron’s big hands comes to rub at the side of your leg, right below your hip. his whole body comes up behind yours, his other free hand coming to your stomach to press you into him.

“aaron—” you try to speak but get cut off as you let out another gasp, one almost like a sigh, as the hand that was rubbing at your leg sneaks further up and wraps itself around your hip, aaron’s thick fingers digging into your skin despite the material of your shorts that blocked his hand.

aaron dips his head so that his mouth is right next to your ear, his breath and the faint touch of his lips against the lower part of your jawline sending shivers down your spine.

“is this okay?” he asks softly, a total contrast from the vice grip he had on both your front and hip.

you nod quickly, your hand coming up to your right where he held your hip to wrap around his own.

“use your words, honey,”

the pet name makes you whimper and your thighs clench in spite of the fact that you were standing up. you let out a ragged breath as he awaits for your answer, the hand that was pressed to your stomach furthering down until it was right above your pelvis but below your tummy, pushing you further back until you could feel how hard he actually was.

you whine, your other hand coming to wrap around that one, too, “yes,” you sigh, “it’s okay,”

aaron presses his lips into that same spot below your jaw, gently and lovingly before whipping you around so that you were facing him and pushing you up against the counter.

not even giving you a chance to process what he had just done, his lips crash onto yours roughly, making you moan directly into his mouth. your bring your arms up around his neck, running your fingers through his hair and tugging.

aaron hisses, slapping at your thigh in a firm way that had you let out another moan.

“aaron,” you whine, pushing up into his chest out of desperation.

he hums, “do you want my attention now?” he asks through the kiss, “don’t wanna go back and talk to that guy you were all over just a couple of minutes ago?”

“no,” you mumble, huffing as he breaks away from you to wrap his fingers around your chin.

he chuckles as your lips form into a puffy pout, “here i was thinking that i was special because you would only look at me with that desperate look on your face, but i see that you give any old man that look, right?”

“no!” you whine again, your arms dropping from around his neck to wrap around his bicep, squeezing at the muscle to try and pull him closer to you, “just you!”

his confidence was beyond what it normally was, feeling you squirm from against him yet still wanting his touch, “really? so you weren’t planning on going home with that man? all those times you touched his shoulder or the times he would touch your thigh meant nothing?”

“yes, they didn’t mean anything!” you huff, “you’re the one i want to go home with all the time!”

aaron’s heart clenched at your confession, knowing that deep down you really did mean all the time. he had just never been sure if you truly were interested in living a joint life with him. up until now, that is.

he brings his hands to your back, right by your shoulder blades as he connects your lips once more. your shoulders relax and you lean into him with earnest, squeezing at the muscle from his bicep.

you hum, satisfied as he begins to run his hands up and down, resulting in the fabric of your shirt lifting with every time he went up, eventually ending up in nothing but rolled up fabric under his palm. he breaks the kiss once more to toss your shirt over your head and near the sink’s counter, leaving you in only your shorts.

aaron stared at your bare breasts, not expecting you to have not been wearing a bra despite the tight shirt you just had on.

you shiver under his gaze, opening your mouth to say something before he lowered himself and quickly attached a mouth to one of your breasts, the other one coming up to grab and squeeze at it. you moan, gripping onto the marble counter for support as he presses sloppy and wet kisses to each breast.

his fingers come to undo the button of your shorts, hooking them inside your panties before shoving both articles of clothing down your legs, signaling you to kick them off of you. you toed your shoes off as well, leaving you completely naked and bare for him while he remained fully clothed.

he turns you around gently, bringing you face to face with the sight of you completely stripped in the mirror, the image making you clench your thighs together once more as you stabilized yourself on the sink.

aaron’s hands soothed all around your body, a whimper leaving you at the feeling of his calloused hands groping at your breasts before moving down to your soaking pussy.

as if on instinct, you spread your legs open for him, practically inviting him to dip his fingers into your folds and inside your entrance. the thickness of both his index and middle fingers stretching you out. you knew you had always loved his hands for a reason.

a moan bounced off the walls as he pumped his fingers in and out of you, moving torturously slow before he began to pick up the pace. you could feel your slick drip onto the floor and probably onto the rest of his hand, but all you could focus on was shamelessly bucking your hips into your hand and spreading your legs for even more access.

“you’re soaking, honey,” aaron says, hand coming back around to squeeze at your breast again, leaving you gasping as he pinched your nipples.

you whimpered, “just for you,”

“‘just for me?’” he repeats, “not for anyone else, right?”

you shake your head no, pussy clenching around his fingers, “j-just for you, aaron,”

his hand left your breast to smack at your ass, making you jump, “good girl,”

with that, he takes his fingers out of you, a throaty whine leaving your lips at the empty feeling. you arched your back into him, but immediately stilled at the sound of him removing his belt filled the room. you watched from the mirror in front of you as he undid his pants button, reaching past his boxers to pull out his cock.

oh shit.

your mouth dropped at the sight of his dick spring out from where it had been confined, your slick hole clenching at nothing at how big he was. you knew that aaron hotchner was definition of big dick energy, always wondered what he was secretly packing, but now you wondered if you were going to be able to take it all.

he was thick, veiny all around with girth too thick that it hurt just looking at him. as much as you could tell you wouldn’t be able to walk after this, it excited you far too much.

you gulped, meeting his eyes in the mirror, landing on his hungry gaze, “is it going to fit?” you ask quietly, trying to bring your legs back together.

“we’ll make it fit,” he says, sounding confident of himself, a hand coming to stop you from closing your legs, “will you let me know if it’s too much?”

you take another look at his cock before giving him a determined look, “i will,” you nod.

he nods back, angling your head with his hand so he could press a kiss to your mouth.

you give into him easily, arching into him until you feel the tip of his cock slip through your wet folds and line up with your entrance. you had taken dick before, but never this big, so as he gave you one last look, you took a deep breath before feeling him sink into you.

you gasp, already feeling full by just the tip, though the slickness of your pussy helping you in adjust.

“still good, honey?”

you nod again, too busy focusing on how his length was stretching you out further than his fingers had.

smack!

aaron’s hand landed another spank on your ass, making you snap your heads toward him with a confused, dumbfounded expression. he glared, “use your words.”

you huffed, doing your best to not roll your eyes, “still good,” you replied, going back to focusing on how full your pussy already felt, “is it in yet?”

“almost, baby,” you whined again, pushing your ass back onto him and earning yourself another inch inside.

humming in delight, you felt aaron begin to move, setting a slow pace as he inched himself in and out to get you used to the length that was already inside you.

“aaron,” you sighed, “give it all to me,” you pleaded at him through the mirror, “i can take it,”

he studied your expression, all needy and flushed as you tried to buck your hips further back to fill yourself up more, “let me know if it’s too much,” he warned.

you nodded eagerly but didn’t get a chance to reply as he shoved the rest of his length inside, the tip immediately hitting that one spot. you gasped loudly, the feeling of his whole cock inside you awakening a hunger inside of you, “fuck,” you moaned, dropping your hands so that you were resting with your elbows on the counter, “please, aaron. move,”

he hesitated for another moment, and just as you were about to look behind you, you felt him begin to move, pistoling his hips into your ass roughly.

you let out a shriek, your hands grabbing at anything you could reach in order to stabilize yourself as he began to mercilessly pound into you from behind. he slipped his dick in and out of you each time, your pussy hugging the veiny length each time he did.

the sounds your juices made due to you being soaked vibrated against the room each time his hips hit your ass roughly, and it only edged you on further.

“a-aaron,” you moan, breasts jiggling against the cold sink as the girth of his cock stretched you out, “aaron! oh, fuck!”

you thought you had felt good getting his attention when you were back flirting with the guy, but nothing could have prepared you for the feeling of his dick slamming into you.

from above, aaron grunted and groaned, fingers and nails digging into your hips harshly as he pounded into your perfect pussy. he loved the way you clenched around him, taking it back perfectly each time he slipped back in.

his hand reached for your hair, wrapping his hand around it and pulling you back until you were flush against him with your back still perfectly arched. he dropped his hand from your head to wrap around your neck, fingers digging into the sides.

you gasped, not having a choice as you looked at him through the now foggy mirror, the image of your body rocking with every smack against your body only adding onto the sensation.

“such a perfect pussy,” aaron grumbled into your ear, “this pussy was made for me, wasn’t it sweetheart?”

you did your best to nod regardless of how weak your body felt, of the way you could feel your slick drip down to your thighs or the way you were drooling from your open mouth, “belongs to you, aaron,” you mumble, surprisingly coherently despite the way he was choking you.

“yeah, it does,” he grunts, free hand coming to grab at your stomach again before pushing against the spot where his cock was evidently sliding in and out of you, making you squirm, “this greedy pussy belongs to me. not to that bastard you were flirting with, right, honey?”

you nod again, eyes stuck on the tummy bulge you currently displayed, your hole clenching at aaron’s cock even tighter at the way the indent disappeared when he slipped out versus when it reappeared when slipping back in.

“feels so good, aaron,” you mumble, saliva dropping from your lips and onto your pointy, practically rock hard nipples that jiggled with each thrust.

“yeah?” he asks, breath hot against your ear, “taking it so well for me, such a good girl,” he praises, hand leaving from your stomach to slither down to where your bodies connected.

you let out a squeal as his middle finger slipped through your finger and his index began to rub furiously at your swollen clit, the feeling making the knot in your stomach tighten and tighten.

you babbled aaron’s name like a loose mantra, bodies rocking together as he quickened his pace after realizing that you were close to orgasming, hand tightening around your neck and finger rubbing even faster than before.

“c’mon, honey, come for me,” he encouraged, “come all over my cock, pretty girl,”

it was all the confirmation you need to let yourself go, body shaking and aaron’s name being repeated as you chased the high, glad that he was holding you up with his hands as your whole body stuttered.

the feeling of your pussy clenching and unclenching around him violently made aaron groan, sweat dripping down his body as he began to reach his own high just from the way your body reacted to orgasming from his dick. from the way he was fucking you and from the way he was naming you as his own.

you could feel his pace falter from behind you, lazily meeting his pace as you tried to encourage him to finish, “come in me, aaron, please,” you whined, needing to feel him fill you up to the point where his come would leak out of you, “fill up my pussy, aaron,”

he gave you a look of unsureness through the mirror before you nodded at him, “i’m on the pill. it’s okay. please,”

that had been all the confirmation he need for him to finish inside you, his cock twitching inside you as his seed filled you up, making you moan as you rode out your own orgasm, still clenching tightly around him.

you giggled at the way his body practically toppled onto yours as he tried to catch himself, bodies pressed together as he held onto the counter with his dick still inside you.

he snaked his hand around the side of your face as his breath evened, pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek and shutting up your whines as he pulled out from inside you with a kiss to your mouth.

“jack’s at a sleepover today,” he says after a few moments of silence.

you inch an eyebrow at him, watching as he leaned over to grab some toilet paper, snatching some off the holder before wiping himself clean of you and wincing at the sensitivity as he wiped gently at your own folds and thighs, “is he now?”

he hums, tucking himself back into his boxers and quickly buttoning his pants to help you put your own clothes on, “he is,” he grabbed your discarded shorts and parties from the floor and signaled you to lift your legs, “we can go home and i’ll wake you up with breakfast in bed and ask you to be go on an official date with me in the morning,”

your heart pulls as he buttons up your shorts for you, reaching for your shirt, too, “i’ll only say yes if we keep going when we get home,” you admit, making him freeze in his movements.

he pinched your nipple.

[kaeddehara]

DIRTY PICTURES AT WORK — NSFW

[ tighnari + cyno + al haitham ]

♱ warnings — cursing + mild nsfw + bondage

♱ notes — minus kaveh :(( ; lowkey rushed because school is kicking my ass right now

| TIGHNARI |

tighnari is almost even on his phone even after working hours. he doesn’t see a need for it but nevertheless still keeps it on him. sometimes he’ll receive messages or emails and chooses to ignore them when he doesn’t even know who they’re from yet. but there are occasions when he does have a break and he’ll look to see if anything is urgent or needs his attention. but when he sees messages from you or specifically pictures, he can’t help but wonder what that could mean. he hastily opens up your messages only a reveal a couple pictures of you on his bed only covered with some very thin fabric he could only assume was a new set of lingerie you’d gotten to wear.

“i know you don’t check your phone much at work so we can have an even better time when you get home <3”

he’s more than happy he’s alone not only so he wouldn’t get caught, but also to cover the obvious blush lining his face. his long, pointed ears are probably flushed at the point too. his eyes scan the images you sent again and he can’t ignore the way his cock is hardening at the sight of your pretty body. he made sure to send you a message quickly complimenting you, already so anxious for your response. he made sure to save those pictures to his phone so he could go get rid of the problem you gave him in the restroom. trying to hard to keep his embarrassing, pathetic sounds to himself while stroking his pretty cock to the sight of you. all the while, he’s mumbling to himself about how he’s gonna treat you when he gets home <3.

| CYNO |

cyno actually doesn’t even use his phone. he won’t look at it unless you or someone else tells him to. chances are, he can’t even work it that well because of how often he’s not on it. so you when decide to send him some pictures of your cute tits only being cupped by a thin piece of fabric with a sweet message about how you miss him, he has no idea about it until you mention it. you’re all excited when he gets home and ask cyno how his day was and all those little questions you always do. it’s only until you ask if he saw the pictures you sent earlier that he gets confused and shakes his head no. you huff in annoyance but the second he goes to check right in front of you, you can’t help but smile at the shock on his face. he scans those pictures and message so hard you’d think he brain had stopped working for a minute or something. it isn’t too long before he throws his phone to the side and pushed you down against the nearest piece of furniture to have his way with you. making sure to cup your pretty tits while humming apologies and also some questions about why you’d send him that during work unless you’re just asking for it.

“you can’t even wait till i’m home is that it? you want me to get hard at work just so i can punish you?”

and you want nothing more than to being just a smile in that moment with cyno pressing his lips right against yours to keep you from responding so he can have you right now and make up for what he missed.

| AL-HAITHAM |

al haitham is always pretty tedious about how he goes about most things. work or just mundane acts he always does with precision and focus. when he does have some downtime however, most of it is actually spent messaging you or responding to emails that he may have gotten while on the job. hes very good about keeping his business personal and too himself and that makes no difference when you send him certain messages. at first, al haitham doesn’t know how to react whatsoever. he’s practically in awe of the dirty messages you sent along with those pictures of you freshly out of the shower in whatever sort of sensual position you want him to see you in.

“keep working hard and you’ll have a reward when you get home <3”

he deeply exhaled and tried to cover the blushing mess that was his face. it wasn’t long before his break was soon over and he had to get back to work. all the while, his mind would not stop thinking and imagining all the things he would do to you when he got home. maybe some punishment was due just because you thought sending him pictures like that when you knew he was working. he decided to respond to your message as to not leave you hanging, waiting for his answer.

“you’d look better with some rope wrapped around those wrists and thighs”

he knew he sounded so serious but also considered how much you enjoyed his serious tone he’d use when he meant something.

“why not show me when you get home kay?”

he had to turn his phone over at all the perverted thoughts filling his mind every second. all because you wanted to send him those pictures in the middle of his working ours WHILE there were others around. you were in for such a harsh punishment when he got home.

[youreobsessedwithtoomanyfandoms]

Love Thorns All Over This Rose

Words: 2577

Warnings: angst, talks of a miscarriage, body image, talks of difficulty staying pregnant, mention of what is technically a still-birth, depression, suicidal thoughts, self-medicating, accidental suicide attempt (this is will make sense if you read it), probably poor writing and OOC characters but whatever

DC Masterlist Main Masterlist Join My Taglist

IF THERE IS A WANT FOR A PART 2, I WILL DO ONE, IF NOT, THEN THIS STAYS AS A ONE-SHOT!

I mention Y/N goes to a church to pray, it is described more as a Christian or Catholic one (I really don't know the difference and I apologize) as she lights a candle before she prays. If you wish to skip that part, it starts with "Y/N hurried up the steps of the Cathedral." and ends with "Y/N nodded silently before turning and walking out.". I do also mention that the reader themselves aren't very religious (but grew up with it so reverted back to old practices to see if it helped)

Alfred is also dead in this (don't ask why he just is) so that's why he isn't here!

The POV here isn't really consistent. It jumps between being with the Batkids, Bruce, and Y/N's. I tried to make it flow though so hopefully that works!

 I feel like I should mention:

Bruce and Y/N's ages don't matter (I'm not in the mood to deal with that) but; Dick is 31 (and married to Kori but that's not too important), Jason is 25, Tim is 22, Damian is 15, Cass is 24, and Steph is 23

I also am not too familiar with Duke, so that is why he isn't there much. Mostly just mentioned

Anywho, enjoy

Love Z <3

7:25 AM

The kids watched as Y/N was silent as she put the plate down in front of Bruce's empty seat. They all noted how fake her smile looked as she looked up at them. "Alright, I will see you kids later!"

They all watched as she walked out of the dining room and once they knew she was out of earshot, they started talking.

"Did she eat anything?"

It was Jason, he had been the last down (well...outside of Tim) so he only saw her putting the plates down and ushering them to eat.

Dick shook his head, he had seen her the entire time she made breakfast. Fully clothed, which was unusual as she usually just made breakfast in her pajamas with her hair occasionally brushed. But not today. Today her hair was done, makeup was on, she was dressed as if she was working.

But everyone in that house knew she was still off after what happened, even though it had been 3 months since the incident.

Damian flicked at his food, "Ummi was supposed to take me to school today."

Dick smiled at Damian, "I can, Dami. Mom is just...preoccupied."

Damian hmphed and continued to play with his food. Dick was concerned for his younger brother. He knew that while he himself was close with the woman he had allowed to become his mother, Damian was so much more as she was really the only person who never got mad at him or made fun of him when he didn't understand something.

Jason abruptly stood, "Since mom isn't here, I'm just gonna go."

Dick raised a brow, "Really Jason? You're just gonna leave after--"

"Hey, we've been over this before Dick. I come because mom asks me to." He shrugged as he put his jacket on, "Plus, I'm going to follow her."

Stephanie snorted, "She'll kill you when she catches you."

"If she catches me. If."

Steph hummed, "My bets are on she will. Y/N is always on the lookout, especially after..." She faded and looked down, regret piling up inside her as she thought of what she was about to say.

"Either way, tell us what you find Jason."

He nodded to Dick's request before heading out the side door in the kitchen. Dick tapped his hand on the table for a minute before speaking; "I'm gonna go check on dad, Damian go get everything ready and I'll meet you at the entryway, alright?"

The eldest stood, placing a gentle hand on the youngest shoulder before heading to the stairs. Dick was concerned. He had never seen his mother so...shut off. Pretending like everything was alright even though everyone who saw her could tell that she was so close to jumping off of a bridge.

The closest that he had seen her to this was back when Jason died and she broke up with Bruce. But even then, she didn't avoid things that she had already planned. Even then, she stayed committed to things.

Plus, Dick knew she had no plans today. Well...no plans except for the fact that beforehand this would have been her due date. And he knew that that was most likely what had off-set her so badly.

Dick didn't even knock before opening the door to Bruce's study. He was even speaking before his father even looked up from his computer. "Have you talked to mom?"

Bruce raised a brow, "What?"

"Mom." Dick crossed his arms, "When was the last time you and her had a real conversation?"

Bruce shrugged, "I'm not sure." He looked at Dick oddly, "What are you going on about?"

Dick let out a hard sigh, "You two are married, it is your job to take care of her. Goddammit Bruce!" He threw his hands up in anger, "You know what? Nevermind, I'm not...I'm not even going to try."

He angrily turned and walked out of the room. He didn't even understand why he even thought that talking to Bruce would help. He just walked down the stairs and remembered his promise to get Damian to school. Trying to hide the anxiety he had that he didn't know what exactly his mom was doing.

--------

9:09 AM

Jason watched Y/N walk out of the convenience store all the way in Blüdhaven. From where he was, he couldn't see what she had bought, but the moment he saw her go into the store, he had messaged Tim to watch her bank account. To watch what she was purchasing. Something felt...off as he watched her.

Jason knew that after the...accident, Y/N had been hard to reach. To talk to. He knew that she and Bruce hadn't been sleeping in the same bed since that argument he had accidently heard them having around 3 weeks after everything happened. So 4 weeks ago.

Granted...from what he had heard, it wasn't even a fight that they had had. Mostly just words being thrown at the other. Words that Jason never thought that he would hear either one say to the other. Words that he never told any of his siblings that he heard. All out of fear that one of them would panic. And while sure, he had a disdain for Tim and Damian, that didn't mean he would ever let either of them know what he had heard.

Jason wasn't sure how long he had been watching her just sit in the car before Tim finally texted him a list of what Y/N had bought in the past week. And considering Jason had seen her previous bank records for a week, it was a sure red mark with how short it was.

Tim

In the past week she's gotten a lot of sleeping pills. That's basically all that she has gotten. That plus energy and pain pills. Duke is thinking she's self-medicating again

Jason sighed as he pocketed his phone when he saw his mom driving out of the parking lot. He kept a safe distance behind her as he followed her on her drive back to Gotham.

--------

12:15 PM

Y/N hurried up the steps of the Cathedral. Trying not to make a misstep and fall as well as trying not to draw attention to herself. She closed the umbrella over her head as she walked in. Placing it in the small holder, she brushed the front of her outfit as her heels clicked on the ground when she walked down the long hall.

Last time she was there was for her mothers funeral last year. Last time she had walked up and grabbed the larger candle to dip down and light the smaller one. Her heart pounded in her chest as she kneeled, words swimming through her head and mumbling off her lips.

She herself was never very religious, but having grown up that way, she wondered if praying like she did as a child would work. Praying that things would get better and that she would get better.

She shakily did the cross on her before standing and wiping the tears that had silently fallen away from her cheeks. She turned and started to make her way out of the church when she heard a voice call out her name:

"Mrs. Wayne! We were not expecting you here today, is everything alright?"

Y/N slowly turned to face one of the Nuns, a small, fake, smile on her face. "Oh yes, everything is alright Sister. Just came here to pray for a moment. I haven't in such a long time."

The nun nodded, "Very well, I hope the Good Lord hears your prayer and makes it happen."

Y/N nodded silently before turning and walking out. She grabbed her umbrella before opening the door and walking out. She practically ran back to her car, wanting to get in before anyone saw her out.

But Cass and Steph did. They watched her speed back to her car as they sat in the cafe across the way. Stephanie shook her head, "She never goes there. Especially not since her mothers deaths."

Cass nodded as Steph continued; "Something is seriously going on with Y/N. Maybe something else has happened that we don't know."

"She's been deteriorating for the past 4 weeks."

Steph raised a bow and inquired, "4 weeks?" Cass nodded, "Huh...weird, that's around a week after she came home from the hospital." She grabbed her phone and started typing in the groupchat that only held the kids (Damian not included):

Steph

when did Bruce disappear for a few days after Y/N came home?"

It didn't take long for Tim to respond

logs say he left 35 hours after she got home and came back 83 hours later why?

Cass

She's been slowly getting worse sense then

Jason

I overheard them arguing around 3 weeks after everything happened and I know they haven't been sleeping in the same room since then. And I'm not sure how important this is; but Tim checked her bank account and she bought different pills so me, him, and Duke think she's medicating again. Or that she's going to start again.

Cass and Steph looked at each other, concern and worry was on their faces as they read Jason's last message. Something started unnerving them as they thought of the things she could possibly do if she was going to start medicating again.

----

3:25 PM

Y/N looked at her body in the mirror. Her hands came to lay on her stomach. Just like she did before. Tears brimmed in her eyes as she stared at her flatter stomach. She breathed shakily as her hands fell down to her sides.

Why?

Was all she ever asked.

Why me? Why did this happen to me?

She was so confused. She had always been good. Done everything to be a good person. But yet she still had that happen to her. Was she just not meant to be a mother?

Of course...she was one. She was a mother to 4 amazing boys and 1 beautiful girl. But still...it was different. Yes, those 5 children were hers, but that one. That singular one that she had carried for nearly 7 months had meant so much to her. Especially after being told time and time again it wouldn't happen.

It wasn't even the first time it had happened. She had had miscarriages before...but that wasn't what it was this time. The kidnapping. Bruce and the kids had found her after 2 days. The emergency c-section to save the baby.

But she knew. Of course she knew. She knew it had died.

Her baby girl. She had died before she even got the chance to live.

Y/N shakily breathed as she grabbed one of the bottles from the counter. She had thought it was the pain medication. But it hadn't been.

Sleeping meds.

Ever since it happened she had hardly been able to sleep. Nightmares of what happened still plagued her mind. Bruce yelling at her still echoed in her brain. Those...twisted words he said echoed inside of her.

She had popped a few in her mouth before dry-swallowing them and getting into the bath she had started earlier. The hot water felt like it was searing her skin, but she didn't care. She wondered if maybe she did this enough, whoever was above would forgive her of her sins and let her keep a pregnancy.

She wasn't sure how long she had stayed in the water before it became difficult to keep her head above water. Her body just felt so heavy. She wondered what pain meds she had grabbed at the store. She couldn’t remember them making her feel this way before. After a few moments of struggling to keep her head up, she felt her body sink down and under the water. But even as she felt water rush into her nose and fill her lungs, she couldn't bring herself to move and get out.

She just accepted her fate.

----

3:30 PM

Bruce sat in his office, a bad feeling settling in his stomach. Something was telling him to check on Y/N. See if she was alright. He knew she had returned around 20 minutes ago, the security cameras had caught her walking in.

He carefully stood from his desk and walked out of his office. He walked down the oddly quiet halls of the manor. A small feeling of pain and guilt started to eat at him as he got closer to the guest room she had been staying in. He knew she was struggling. He knew that she needed him today. But he just...couldn't.

He was selfish. He knew this.

He knew he was so goddamn selfish. Caring about his own feelings rather than helping his wife. She had been the one to physically go through everything. She had been the one to bear that trauma.

He had been so incredibly selfish since she had come home from the hospital. He had even begun to wonder why she even stayed in the manor.

But as he opened the door to the guest room, unrest settled inside him as he saw she wasn't there but the bathroom door was open. It was silent. He had known his wife long enough to know she never was silent in the bathroom. She almost always had music playing.

He pushed the bedroom door further open as he walked further in. Anxiety started to reach a breaking point as he walked into the bathroom.

And time felt like it moved in slow-motion as he saw her state. Her knees bent out of the water, her head under. He saw the three bottles of pills on the counter. He saw the open one read sleep on them. He ran over to the tub, grabbing under her arms and pulling her out.

He bent down, trying to listen for a heartbeat. He felt like his own heart stopped as he heard nothing. Not even a faint thump of one. He quickly moved to her side and started CPR.

Everything still felt like it was moving slower than it was as he pushed down on her sternum. Tears gathered in his eyes as he repeatedly slammed down onto her. As he breathed into her mouth. He didn't stop. He couldn't stop.

It felt like an eternity had passed by the time he finally had gotten the CPR to work. She began to cough profusely, water spluttering everywhere. He sobbed as he heard her shallow breaths break through the air.

He heard the noise of Dick's voice breaking. "Mom?"

He looked at him, seeing both him and Damian staring at the scene in front of them. Staring as their father held their mother in his arms. As tears fell from his eyes, he pleaded for them to call 911.

It was with shaky hands that Dick did it. His words sounded choked back, he kept stuttering. Trying to say what he was supposed to but his mind was running at a million miles and and half a mile a second at the same time. Everything felt fuzzy and he had no idea what he was supposed to do. All that he knew was that he walked in on his dad doing CPR on his mom.

That was all he knew.

That was all Dick knew.

[carmyberzattosjournal]

S2 Entry 4: Gleeful Harassment

Image credit: Pinterest

Summary: Carmy’s girlfriend (who he calls Darling) tempts him with pink lace again while he’s attending a conference, and it makes him feral. (2094 Words) SMUT.

Warnings: Swearing, fem reader/lass who is a trauma surgeon, she/her pronouns, oral sex (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), Darling is a brat, sugar mama!Darling (sort of?), dword use, sir kink, feral Carmy, this man is pathetic

Notes: Thank you for reading and sharing! This is a work in CB Journals Season 2 and will be tagged with #cb journals s2.

Sideblog for commentary and social stuff: @m-z-shoroi

Prompt: Fireplace

Darling sometimes scares me.

New York again. Chef conference. Again. This time, Darling scheduled some time off at work to come with, which was nice, because when our hotel (different one, never trusted the first again) fucked up our booking again, it meant that instead of cramming Syd and me into a room together and telling us to figure it out, the staff had to listen to Nat and a pissed off Darling read them the Riot Act. I had to admit, it was wildly entertaining—not to watch the poor desk clerk scramble around with all the grace of a gazelle that’d been shot in the leg; that was uncomfortable—but watching Syd and Richie back away from the desk inch by inch as Darling’s voice got friendlier and friendlier, as she cracked jokes at the sweating clerk? As she then giggled at the manager on site who looked much too concerned about nothing to be bothered by some rando Chicagoan fucks who also, to be fair to him, looked like they’d rather be anywhere else?

Cinema.

Half an hour of gleeful harassment later, it was sorted. Three rooms, two suites so Nat’s snoring didn’t keep Syd awake.

“The fuck is a Presidential Suite?” I asked Darling after Richie had shuffled off the elevator onto his floor.

She smiled. Stroked my cheek as the elevator door closed. “Consider it a treat for starting therapy.”

A presidential suite, it turns out, is an entire fucking penthouse. Living room, fireplace, kitchen, bedroom, bathroom with a big tub, balcony (which was useless in December). For once on these stupid fucking conferences, I slept well.

Having Darling to snuggle up with probably helped.

Anyway.

I’m an hour into a panel of some asshat full-of-themselves chefs on day one, right—and I’m so ready to leave, okay? Like I’m ready to just get up and walk because I fucking can’t with this bullshit anymore. I’m tired, my head is killing me, my eyes are stinging, my back might as well have fucking knives in it from under my shoulder blades all the way to my tailbone, I’m boiling in my fucking suit. You don’t understand; I’m going to be cooked to death if I need to be here another ten minutes. I’m gonna fucking hurl or something. This day has been a million years long, and Darling had to leave in a rush because one of her patients had an emergency and she needed to get on a conference call right that second or the poor man was gonna die or explode or melt or whatever the fuck. Fuck me, I just need to get out of this room. There are too many people, I’m sardine canned in a corner between Richie and Nat, the doors are clear on the other side of the hall, and I can’t get out without walking across the front, and I’m Carmen fucking Berzatto—people are gonna notice if I get up and walk out. That’ll bite me in the ass.

My phone buzzed in my pocket.

I reached for it, but Sug nudged me in the elbow. Don’t get distracted.

It buzzed again.

I grabbed it anyway. Two text messages from Darling.

Darling: Patient is stable.

Darling: You okay?

Me: I’m dying.

Darling: Can you step out and take a break?

Nat nudged me again.

Fuck you, everyone here understands that sometimes you have important shit come up. Besides, how much of a fuck should I be giving to a bunch of self-centered sons of bitches big on social media who think their Cajun-inspired take of a Biryani even needs to exist, let alone is some revolutionary new frontier in food? Do your fucking fundamentals well. Do something actually inspiring.

Wait, that actually sounds pretty good.

Fuck.

Photo from Darling. Selfie. She’s lying on her stomach in the bed and has her lip caught between her teeth. She’d been pulling shit like that since yesterday; lip bite, lipstick print on my neck that I had to wipe off before the wider public saw it (turns out I’m still a shy bitch, who would’ve guessed), ghosting her fingers up the inside of my forearm, hugging my arm, wearing those fucking pink fucking heels and that fucking short pink dress, this bright, cheerful color exactly the hue of a split ripe guava, that I didn’t even know I liked until she dared to send me the one photo of her in the pink lacy panties on the one night I got compulsively stuck at the restaurant.

I went back to pretending to pay attention to the panel. Something about leadership in a kitchen. It would’ve been useful for me to hear if I wasn’t getting distracted repeatedly by my phone buzzing.

Darling: You look so good in a suit, Carm.

Darling: I want to bite you.

Darling: I need to buy you nice jewelry, Carm. You’d look like a daydream and a half with a couple more necklaces and a bracelet.

My face flooded hot. Fuck. Fuck me. Shit. How the shit was I supposed to focus now? And since when did Darling want to buy me jewelry?

Me: You’re acting like a brat again.

Darling: You said the panel wasn’t important!

That was true. I did say that. I’m an asshole, though, so I suppose we should keep that in mind.

Darling: Sweetheart?

Darling: Baby, I can’t stop thinking about you.

Me: You keep acting like a fucking brat, and I’m gonna fuck your day up, you understand me?

And I didn’t want to be there at all. But like half the people here know who the fuck I am, and I need to at least keep up the appearance of giving a shit if I’m gonna not be a minnow in this fucking shark tank, okay? My career was hanging on by a thread, my restaurant failed to get a star, my reviews were mostly good but had some glaring bad ones thrown in, my relationship with the kitchen staff was in some perilous fucking limbo, it was damn-near 5 pm on a random fucking Tuesday in Fuck-Off, New York, and my head was fucking killing me and I was being cooked to death.

Another photo from her, this one showing off a pink lace bra that matched those panties I almost tore off her the last time. Even more heat pooled in the pit of my stomach, flooded my face. She doesn’t know when to fucking quit, does she? Is she trying to kill me?

Darling: Well, maybe you should fuck my day up then, sir.

…..

“Carmy, please,” she whined, wriggled, tugged my hair. “Please, sir…”

I tightened my grip on her thighs to stop her squirming and spoke into her cunt. “You did this to yourself, baby girl.”

“But you-you’re being mean, Daddy.” She didn’t even have teeth behind that one.

She was a gorgeous mess. Unruly hair, smudged lipstick, swollen lips, red and purple blooms all over her neck and chest, teeth marks on her breast, just under her nipple. Fuck me, she was stunning. She was fucking delicious lying under me, whimpering as I worked her over, begging for release.

She could wait until I got my fill.

I found her after the panel (which I survived by biting the inside of my cheek until I tasted copper) lounging in front of the fireplace in nothing but that pink lingerie and her fuzzy night robe, glass of champagne in hand, pager and laptop discarded on the coffee table nearby. Orange-yellow glow lit up her legs and the curve of her breasts like ethereal things. I should’ve taken a photo of her. I don’t think about this kind of shit; I don’t think through the screen, I wrap myself around them (or maybe I wrap them around me?), absorb them, fight through the fog to plant them in my memory, take in every little detail with my own eyeballs in real time. Maybe it made me a better cook, made me better at picking up details.

At least it made me better at picking up her details.

Her eyeliner was smudged, and she looked exhausted. She looked the kind of exhausted that I did when I had a long day of fighting Richie or Syd at the restaurant. The kind of tired that can’t find words or form coherent thoughts, that responds to everything with “I’m tired” because that’s the truth of all matters. It’s this fucking exhaustion that drapes over you like a wet blanket, that makes a coma seem like it might be a vacation. I know I should’ve asked her how she was doing. Having a patient take a downturn like that usually fucks her up pretty bad, but I was screaming in my head to get at her. I needed to sink my teeth into her skin, lick the bite better, suck a hickey onto her pulse, delve my tongue into the wet heat of her mouth, the soft, wet sweetness of her cunt.

Not that she complained.

Well, now she was complaining.

“Yeah? Whose fault is that, hm?”

She whined again.

“You had to go acting like a fuckin’ brat, baby girl.”

“’m sorry. Please, Carmy. Please, Daddy, I’ll be good for the rest of the trip...”

“You better be,” I murmured, tossed her leg over my shoulder, “because I haven’t even started with you.”

“Lemme cum, please…”

“You can wait,” I growled.

She huffed and arched her back, tried to rock against my mouth to get any more friction, but I tightened my grip on her to hold her still. You got yourself into this situation, pretty thing, you’re gonna have to deal with the consequences. I’m going to eat you out, I’m going to make a fucking meal out of you, and you’re gonna lay there and take it. You’re gonna take it and beg me for more, do you understand? Do you understand what you do to me? Do you even know how bad you fuck me up? Do you know how hard you make it to think under normal circumstances? And you had to tempt me with pink lace? Again? Play stupid games, win stupid prizes; is that how the phrase goes?

Her fingertips ghosted along my neck, curled down to pet a line up my throat, hook under my chain.

“Let-let me buy you something nice, Daddy.”

I glanced up at her from between her legs and gave her clit a particularly aggressive suck. She swore and bucked against me. We really doing this? You want to try throwing me off? You want to challenge me? I’ll admit, it almost got me. I don’t get things from people. Gift-giving was something of an artifice in my family, it was a thinly veiled assertion of favors, alignments of loyalties, negotiation tactics. Gifts were weapons of war. Some bitchy part of me that I wanted to crush under my boot-heel wanted to fire back with “why?” Why do you want to get something nice for me? What do you want from me? What are your ulterior motives?

She swept that hand through my hair. Wicked twinkle in her eye. Maybe it was reflections from the fireplace. Maybe I’m getting better at figuring her out. When did she turn into a brat? When did I start to like it?

I responded by pressing two fingers into her cunt, and she rewarded me with the prettiest moan I’ve ever heard. Fuck, it went straight to the pit of my stomach, coiled this sweltering heat into an unforgiving pressure that threatened to turn me inside out. Her cunt was so wet and hot, offered no resistance, welcomed my fingers. One hand seized my hair in a vice grip; the other shot up and kneaded her breast, afforded me a glorious sight of her in the throes of pleasure, back arched, nipple pinched between her fingers, firelight bathing half her form in flickering yellows and oranges, while the other half of her form receded under the ink of winter nightfall, twinkles around her neck from her gold necklace catching the light, and flashes of white, pink, blue, and green from her mother of pearl necklace shifting through its hues. She’s not human, I swear to you. She’s a mythological creature. Not of this realm. A fairy, a spirit, an angel—something distant from the grit and grime that is humanity, another plane of beautiful that escapes the grips of this disastrous world.

I revise my statement on God.

Sometimes he gets it right.

Tags: @carmenberzattosgf @jess248 @catharticconsolation @persymons @morgthemagpie @glitch0o0 @nox-is-thename @forgechildofheph @leminjelly @fridavacado @lumoslemon @cyarskj1899

[strawberri-elixir]

Sleepless nights

╰⇢ 9. Good shit

Warnings: just yuta being in denial again?? (no surprise tho)

note: THERE’S WRITING AFTER THE FIRST 10 IMAGES you don’t wanna miss it :] also thank you for all the support?! i never thought there would be many people who would want to read this series. but i’m thankful for all of you <3

“Alright. So how about we all split up into pairs while we go around the mall?” Nobara took a sip of her drink as you all began leaving the food court.

“That would probably be easier.” Yuta nodded.

“But there’s seven of us.” You added.

“You guys will just have to be in a group of three.” Maki slung her arm over Nobara’s shoulder, giving a sly grin to the black haired boy.

“I don’t think-” Yuta tried to protest.

“Perfect! Inumaki, you’ll come with us!” You interjected, taking a hold of the boy’s hand.

Maki watched with an amused look as Yuta glared at her. He knew exactly what she was trying to do, but it’s not like he could do anything about it.

“Let’s go then!” You began dragging the two boys away.

The three of you then began strolling through the mall, pointing at windows and looking inside the stores. You did most of the dragging, pulling Yuta and Inumaki into whatever store caught your eye.

“Look at this!” You smack Yuta’s arm to get his attention. The three of you were currently stationed at the front counter of an antique shop, looking at all the various trinkets that were displayed behind the glass barrier.

In this case, you were focused in on a simple silver ring. The obviously well-loved wedding band sat in a velvet box, practically begging for attention. You couldn’t help but stare at it.

Small engravings ran through the material, creating intricate designs across the entire surface. A truly beautiful piece of jewelry. It almost drew you in, in some way. Like a magnet.

“I’m almost scared to ask how much that is.” Yuta chuckled.

“It can’t be as bad as you think.” You smile. “How much is this ring?” You ask the old lady behind the counter, pointing at the silver ring.

“That one? It’s 50 dollars. But for a young one like yourself, I’ll let you have it for 40.” She smiled.

As much as you appreciated the kindness, you politely declined. Not because you felt bad, but because you simply couldn’t afford it. It was times like this when you really wished you had a job.

“I can pay for it.” Yuta offered.

“No way! I’d actually feel bad if you payed for this. 40 bucks is a lot even for you!” You immediately shut him down.

It’s true, 40 dollars is a lot for broke high school students, even if they have jobs. You couldn’t allow Yuta to spend that kind of money on you.

“You sure? You’ve been eyeing that ring for a solid 15 minutes while we looked around the store.”

“Positive.” You gave the ring one more glance before forcing yourself to leave the store. “Let’s go. Any more staring and I’ll regret not having enough money.”

“Alright, I just want to look at some of those old journals before we go, just wait outside for me.” Yuta shooed you away.

You roll your eyes with a smile, turning your attention to Inumaki as the two of you walked out. “I bet he’s gonna take a long time.”

The two of you found a bench to wait for Yuta, sitting down side by side, the two of you sat in silence. It wasn’t long before Inumaki pulled out his phone, swiping to a game and started playing.

“What are you playing?” You lean over and watch the boy tap away on his screen. He angled his phone to you, displaying a familiar game layout. “Oh! You play Genshin?”

The boy gives you a simple not. It was obvious he wasn’t much of a talker, but that didn’t bother you.

“That’s cool. I don’t really play but I really like watching this one streamer play.” You started going on about the game. “If I’m annoying you, just tell me, okay?”

“You’re not bothering me. Keep going.” He mumbled.

It was the first time you ever heard him actually speak to you. His voice was low, lower than Yuta’s at least. A little husky from the lack of use. But soft at the same time.

You couldn’t help but smile. It was like the next step in your already growing friendship. You continued to watch the boy play, leaning on his shoulder as time went on.

Masterlist | Next

fun facts:

— even though she’s all for the chaos, maki does genuinely want yuta to be happy and confess his feelings

— inumaki has his phone always on do not disturb because of the amount of notifications he gets

— the original monster energy drink is yuta’s favourite because he rarely drinks them (you try to get him to try different flavours but he just doesn’t like them)

taglist:

@sur-i-ki @aespaforlifersyall @camilo-uwu @butterflyqueen234 @shinsukeee @tanchosanke @emii4evr @lees-chaotic-brain @you-always-made-me-blush @jayathelostdragon @chilichopsticks @polarbvnny @instantmusico @sad-darksoul @hellyyy06 @rosieandthethorns @zellwa @iluv-ace @h3xi2g0n3 @morgyyyyyyy @bellaabee082

Bold means I for some reason can’t tag you! I don’t know why :[

[can-ya-guess-my-curent-obsession]

since you did the clingy 2d and reader one, i think its only fair theres a clingy murdoc and clingy reader one

Clingy Murdoc with a clingy GN!S/O

Author note: Well, the logic checks out to me, soooo-

[Extra note: I think I enjoyed writing the little scenario to much, I think I'm gonna take it and write a longer ending and turn it into a one shot later... ]

Requests: Open

Edited: no

Pairing: Murdoc x GN!reader

Phase: Any phase after plastic beach

TW: Clinginess, trauma from plastic beach, attachment issues, lack of communication, Murdocs inflated ego?, lack of boundaries, Murdocs a bit of an ass?, I dunno tell me anything I missed.

Remember how I called Clingy 2D and Clingy S/O two peas in a pod, well you two are just two peas in hell

If you had noticed, I had placed the phase as any time after plastic beach, because that's when Murdoc would become the most clingy, especially right after plastic beach

You see, plastic beach was a very traumatic event for him

Being isolated from the outside world, he lost most of the comforts he had become accustomed to

And while it wasn't entirely visible by just looking at him or his actions

I could see him developing attachment issues, paranoia, and maybe even some fomo(fear of missing out)

As he's scared to lose it all again

And its most visible in his relationship

Clingy Murdoc is just kinda terrified you'll leave him at any time as he's come to the realization of how fleeting everything he has in is his life is and that he could loose everything and anything at any moment and that scares him

And it's not like he communicates any of this to you, no

So clingy S/O is left blissfully unaware as to why their boyfriend wants to keep them within eye range constantly

And he'll gladly accept being loved up on

well first because it inflates his ego, and because he's scared if he says no you'll be just that much closer to leaving him

He gets very clingy when hung over, but if you're clingy when he's hung over, he gets weird

Murdoc likes to be in control of situations and if S/o's clingy to no end he feels a bit like he doesn't have control over the situation and it makes him feel vulnerable, and we all know how he feels about being vulnerable

He also has an issue with if his S/O is to clingy in public or infront of the camera

Side note Mudz refuses to be clingy much when in public or infront of a camera

He has a reputation to uphold

He doesn't want to be seen as soft or week

And I'm a fucking broken record when I say this, but

Murdzy thinks showing love and real emotions is weak

And so if Murdoc feels his S/O being too clingy in a situation where he thinks it reflects on him in a way that makes him look soft, he will start getting pissy

And may start pushing S/O away

And than S/O gets upset because Murdoc doesn't communicate why he's pushing them away, and than it becomes a fight

So there needs to be some boundaries please

But it's a different story for the most part when at home

And none of the band members are around

Because then he's a clingy little shit who whines like a little bitch if you do as much as get up to go piss

And you can't image how hard it is to get out of bed it is with his clingy ass

You shift around in bed, trying to ignore your blasting alarm. All you can do is groan as you try to get up but are unable as the weight of your boyfriend holds you down. Sighing you crane your stiff neck to look at the green man as he lays atop of you seemingly unbothered by your alarm, though all you can see is a mop of greasy black hair as his face is lodged in-between your shoulder and neck, this was accompanied by the sound of his snoring, which the second loudest thing in the room besides your alarm. It's amazing he could sleep through it, really, but you sure as hell couldn't. So, with a sigh, you tried gently moving Murdoc off you so as not to wake him because you idoticly left your phone just out of reach. You were doing well with getting Mudz off you, you could hear his snoring up until his back connected with the mattress, then you heard a husky groan, a chilling sound curtesy of your boyfriends morning voice. "Shit, sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up..." You apologize as you sit up. Without opening his eyes, Murdoc roled over onto his side and threw his arm over your waist, his hand landing on the other side of your hip. "Where ya go'in..." he said more like a statement than a question. "Can you not hear the alarm?" You say as you run your hand through his hair, enjoying the contact. "Juz, throw something at it....." Murdoc answers as he shoves his face into your side and breaths you in. "Murdoc, I have to get up," "nooo, no, you don't." "y-yea, I do," "noo.." This back and forth would continue, with the alarm screeching angerly in the background, and you truth be told didn't really want to leave the embrace of your boyfriend, so you stayed there for two hours, till you actually really needed to get out of bed, like seriously.

I mean good thing S/O's clingy to because his behavior can be straight up intrusive at times

Like, privacy? who's that?

Type of guy to walk in while you use the bathroom to brush his teeth

If you take a shower, than he's taking a shower, and I don't mean that entirely inappropriately, he just enjoys showering with his S/O

He has a need to be in your vicinity constantly

Not to mention how touchy this fuck is

Physically can not keep his hands to himself

And his S/O fucking loves in

Which inflates his already inflated ego

S/O soaks up his attention like a sponge, and he can't get enough of it

Also while may be a bit sadistic

He enjoys seeing is S/O mourn not being being close to him while he's away

Because again it inflates his ego

Watching you love him cling to him or generally just crave being around him brings him much joy at just the thought

[jenchan-writingmultis]

Redirected (Zayne x Rafayel)

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦ Synopsis:

Betrayed was the word that described what Rafayel felt when he realized that despite waiting for 800 years for the girl he loved, she fell for another man just like that, he was foolish to think that she would love him. However, it was odd how he started to feel something similar to a guy who also loved her.

Seriously? Is he really gonna give me a chance to love again? Especially when that man is a stone-faced, asshole who's a smartass and way too blunt for his own good. This is the opposite of what he likes! but that doesn't stop his feelings from falling through. Unfortunately. ✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Genre: Fluff/Angst (Slow burn) + Unrequited love Pairing: (Main Pairing): Zayne x Rafayel (Side Pairing): Mc x Xavier

Notes: Hear me out on Zaynel/Rafayne please omg, It's just so good cause they're artist/doctor, and many more, give a chance to this ship. The first chapter, Zayne and Rafayel are still smitten by Mc! This will be cut into chapters, I'll post more soon! Warning: Mc can be seen as a self insert/reader however that is not the main pairing, so instead of using You/Yourself I'm using She/her. If you do not like MLM please do not read it! The main pairing is already stated as Zayne x Rafayel! As the story progresses there is a possibility of adding extra warnings, I'll do that in each chapter. If you decide to continue reading. enjoy and please tell me your thoughts about it if you'd like! I'm the only one beta-reading my work!

Credits: Images came from the official website of Love and deepspace, while the banner is created by me. Masterlist

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

I do not consent to stealing, translating, or putting my work in AI.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

This is insane.

The audacity of his crush to invite someone else to their date was not only insane, but it was also borderline cruel! How could she?

Rafayel grumbled to himself, looking at the food he was eating before shoving it in his mouth and chewing it angrily, they’re currently in Meow café, it all started when Rafayel decided to ask Mc out if she wanted to come by and pick him up to go to the meow café, and she seemed reluctant at first, but he insisted. 

“Come on Mc, it’ll be a good date, promise! It’s on me if you agree” he whined, he was bored without her, she was the only reason he’d go out often and he kept complaining to Thomas about the lack of inspiration, which was due to the fact that his bodyguard had been way too busy for his liking, even if he visited their headquarters, he wasn’t allowed inside, and when he asked where she was, they’d tell him that she wasn’t even on duty, so if she wasn’t around where was she going? She wasn’t answering his calls either that day.

If it weren’t for her friend, he would have stayed there under the scorching heat till she came around. “Oh! Mr. Rafayel?” Tara walked to him, holding an ice cream that probably came from the company’s cafeteria. “Who are you?” He tilted his head, looking down at the woman, “My name’s Tara, you must be looking for Mc, right?” He nodded, crossing his arms before he looked at the time “Is she there? Her colleagues told me that she was out, but they didn’t know where” he sighed, it was really hot today, what’s the sun’s deal? Does it want him to die out here? 

“Oh, it’s cause Mc got an injury on her hand, it’s not that bad but she needed to get some rest for it cause she can’t use any type of gun or anything that can strain her hand for the time being,” Tara said, licking the ice cream she was eating looking unbothered while Rafayel here looked outright terrified “What?!” he screeched causing Tara to jolt in surprise.

“She’s fine! She called me earlier to check on her things. If you want, I can give you her coordinates, although I was sure she gave you that already, I always see you around with her! And well Doctor Zayne and Xavier!” she shared, for some reason, Rafayel felt like she was doing this on purpose to get him riled up; which worked of course. 

“Can I have her coordinates?” he almost looked pitiful in Tara’s eyes before she smiled “Yeah sure, I trust you enough! Mc talks about you frequently!” she grinned, showing him a QR code which he scanned immediately, although hearing what she said made his heartbeat faster. “She talked about me?” He murmured, scratching his cheek “What did she say?” 

“Well,” she puts her finger on her lips before going into deep thought, “she said you’re always complaining and asking for her attention, it was frustrating sometimes” and that made Rafayel huff, so she’s been backstabbing him in front of her friends? 

“But she does sound fond of you when she says those things though, kind of like a best friend” Tara finishes, putting her phone back into her pocket “It’s rare for her to talk about someone like that ever since you know, that happened” she was referencing about the death of Caleb and her grandmother which made Rafayel frown, she couldn’t be reached during those times and he went to visit her, she was staying in a temporary apartment, and it was a mess. Reminiscing about that made his heart clench, out of everything he disliked, seeing Mc hurt like that destroyed him. He went to at least try to cook something for her, but all he could do was soup, so he decided to just order takeout from a restaurant that specializes in customizable meals. 

 “I should go now; you can visit her in Akso Hospital! I visited her yesterday and she’s doing great!” Tara snapped Rafayel out of his thoughts before he nodded “Alright, I’ll see you around, thank you Tara” he waved goodbye to her before looking at his phone which pinpointed the location of Mc. “No problem, go get your girl Loverboy,” she said, waving goodbye as Rafayel stood there cheeks up to his ears red. “Jeez.” 

During those times he never actually saw who Doctor Zayne was, cause when he visited, it was just Mc being there, and the nurse informing Zayne that there was a visitor, but that guy didn’t bother showing up, well he was busy apparently, which is great for Rafayel! He can spend some time with Mc. 

“Mc” Rafayel called out to her, pouting as he went to sit down beside her, who looked alright, she didn’t have anything stabbing her arms, and it seemed like she was about to be released soon. “Rafayel! How did you get here?” she asked, surprised while Rafayel frowned, his face looking sour, “I got your coordinates from Tara, why didn’t you even call me?” he huffed, crossing his arms “Do you plan to hurt yourself without informing me when you get to the hospital? What happened to being punctual with me? What if I needed you for a job and suddenly you can’t cause you got your hand hurt?” he scolded her, and she looked down “Yeah, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize my phone cracked when I was in n109 zone” She explained, playing with her fingers, “I couldn’t reach anyone except for Zayne and Xavier. I’m sorry” 

Rafayel felt bad for scolding her before he sighed, gently caressing Mc’s hand before he held it. “It’s fine, I was more worried for you than angry about it.” He placed her uninjured hand to his cheek, nuzzling it and Mc looked taken aback before she smiled, rubbing his cheeks “Thank you Rafayel”  He could get used to this to be fair. He liked the attention, the gentleness of his crush, however…

“By the way” he hummed, looking at Mc with an indescribable look, “Tara told me something” he continued, gripping on Mc’s hand a bit before giving her palm a bite, “She said you spent so much time with other people, Doctor Zayne and someone named Xavier?” Mc’s eyes widened before she started giggling “Are you jealous?” she said before Rafayel pouted, letting her hand go. “No! Why would I? You’d pick me either way!” he said, crossing his arms. Seriously, he was super confident during that time, and now look what happened. He didn’t expect that when he asked Mc out on a date, she was already in one with this Doctor Zayne! He was emitting a bad aura which made Mc sigh.

“I told you that I was busy, and I was with someone, but you complained if they’re much more important than you” She was feeling a headache coming to her, and It amused Zayne, considering she was usually the one causing the headache for him, this is interesting. Zayne was expecting a simple hangout with Mc when she got a call from an unknown caller, he didn’t expect it would be the guy that visited her and caused a lot of noise in the hospital back then was now sitting down eating his food angrily, Zayne kept a poker face before he went to eat his portion of the meal. “Nice to meet you, Rafayel” he stated, looking at Rafayel who glared at him “My name is Zayne, you were the one that a nurse informed me visited Mc during non-visitation hours?” 

Rafayel sat up straight from that, pointing the fork at Zayne “Excuse you! Nobody stopped me!” Zayne didn’t bother to look at him anymore before he gave Mc some of his vegetables “Eat” he whispered to her, she was going to whine but if she did, it’d be two whiners in one area, no way she was going to do that, so she accepted her fate and begrudgingly takes the vegetables. 

“Hey!” Rafayel pouted, looking at both of them, honestly, they looked like a couple, and it made his heart ache. “The reason why they didn’t stop you was because you rushed inside without stopping, the majority of nurses are women and what happens If a fully grown adult man came rushing into the room of a patient?” the audacity of this guy! He’s making it sound like he’s going to physically assault the nurses! “Luckily enough Mc here told the nurses not to call the guards, and to just inform me that someone broke the protocol. You should thank her that you weren’t thrown out.” Zayne stated, finishing the conversation before Rafayel could even say anything.

Rafayel continued to glare at Zayne, honestly now that he sees his fault, it was immature of him to just barge inside, but can you blame him? He was upset and worried for Mc! “I’m sorry,” He said, relaxing himself, and Zayne stared at him “Apology accepted, please don’t do that again." And that was it, end of conversation again, he was expecting retaliation from the guy, but he guessed he was the nonchalant type. Mc doesn’t seem bothered by it, as a matter of fact, she seems to like the silence while she eats. “It seems like you two would get along well!” she said as if the shenanigans that happened just a few minutes ago didn’t happen, “Doctor Zayne already introduced himself, why don’t you introduce yourself too?”  Mc went to get a drink before gulping it down, and Zayne was looking at her again. Why aren’t they paying attention to Rafayel much? This hurts his ego.

“I was thinking that Doctor Zayne already knows about me,” he chided, wanting to tease this prick of a doctor, crossing his arms. “Your name was repeated multiple times, and you almost got framed for murder, yes?” Zayne said, wiping the tissue on his lips, elegant asshole. “What? Where did you even hear that from?” He looked confused, isn’t Zayne an outsider? 

“Mc and I went to investigate that matter before, so I know about the case” He answered, as if reading Rafayel’s thoughts, it was easy to read the guy, he was like an open book because of his reactions, like Mc. Rafayel looked away awkwardly “Case solved! You don’t need to bring that up,” he grumbled, just how much did Mc spend time with this guy? He heard a chuckle from Zayne, “From what I heard you’re quite a disaster, always attracting trouble, or creating trouble for yourself” he said and Rafayel’s cheeks turned beet red from embarrassment “Shut up!”

 “See,” the banter was stopped when Mc giggled “you two do get along!”  

“No we don’t,” Rafayel glared at her, words coming out harshly and firmly “I find teasing him entertaining, it is nice to finally put a face to the name, Rafayel, some of my acquaintances are fans of your works” Zayne looked at him, stone-faced, unlike Rafayel, this guy wasn’t easy to understand, everything he says, he states it in a monotone voice, his face remaining neutral, the perfect doctor face or whatever, It’s the polar opposite of him. It makes him worried that Mc doesn’t like him because of his expressions, maybe she likes a guy like Zayne. 

Then a phone started ringing, it was a girly ringtone which surprised Mc, looking at her phone she noticed it was Xavier, making her smile unknowingly, “I gotta take this, give me a second” She looked at Zayne who nodded, while she just waved at Rafayel who looked like he was ready to whine about it. Leaving him with this guy? Especially in a café where lovers are usually around? Call him dramatic but this is definitely not something he wants to stay in, when he was about to stand up when Zayne suddenly talked.

 “Where do you think you’re going?” he asked, drinking the coffee he ordered, Rafayel flinched before sitting back down “I was going to get water, it’s self-serving here you know.” Rafayel lied, looking away, why is he even avoiding eye contact? This guy has nothing on him. “Mc would be sad if you suddenly left just because she got a phone call.” He hummed, fixing their table cleaning it out of the empty dishes, and asking the waiter to clean it. It made Rafayel confused, but he stayed sat as told. “How about we play kitty cards while we wait?” he smiled.  ✦•······················•✦•······················•✦ Word Count: 2,105

[tenebraevesper]

Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic Prime, Character Analysis - Part 5)

Welcome to Part 5 of my Shadow and Sonic character analysis! This one will be covering the first half of Episode 17: Grim Tidings, being another Sonic and Shadow-centric episode that gives us a lot of content, with the occasional focus on Nine. The reason I'm only covering one half is because once again Tumblr won't allow me to post more than 30 images (or gifs), which is annoying because there is so much to point out.

So, let's dive in!

So, in the previous episode, we left off with Nine taking all of the Shards, with Shadow witnessing all of this and Sonic being left devastated.

Now, before I get into the episode proper, I wanted to talk about the fandom's ideas of what Shadow's reaction would be to Nine betraying Sonic. Many of them believed that Shadow would blame Sonic for trusting Nine and, in the worst case scenario, take his anger out on him. I will admit, while I had also though that Shadow would be frustrated with Sonic, my mind didn't go into him trying to punch the latter, but focus more on trying to find a way to fix this mess.

Now that I think back to it, I think we all misunderstood Prime!Shadow's character and the development he went through. I had just written several posts detailing Shadow's journey in Sonic Prime, gaining a better understanding of his character, and if there's one thing that became clear, he is not the same person now that he was at the start of the story, especially when it comes to his relationship with Sonic. This episode serves to drive the final nail in the coffin that Shadow has really changed as a character.

''Any chance at bringing Green Hill back is gone. How could Nine betray us?'' ''It's destabilizing. Sonic, I told you Nine couldn't be trusted. Whatever he's up to, it's causing this world to fracture.'' ''I don't understand. Why would he-?'' ''Pull yourself together! This mountain is decaying and it's gonna take us with it. We have to run!''

After Nine goes full Elsa by creating a citadel in The Grim with the help of the Paradox Prism, Shadow is the first to realize that Ghost Hill is falling apart, while Sonic is still grieving the loss he just experienced. Now, pay close attention to how both of them act during this scene.

Sonic is clearly hurt over Nine's betrayal, not noticing what is going around him until Shadow tells him about Ghost Hill falling apart. Shadow, in turn, is very firm with Sonic, but he isn't angry at him nor does he yell at him. He does indeed point out to Sonic that he was right about not trusting Nine, but then focuses on getting Sonic to escape the fracturing Ghost Hill, grabbing him by the hand and dragging him out of the cave.

What needs to be pointed out that Shadow never blames Sonic for Nine's betrayal, aside the factual statement above, focusing instead on keeping Sonic safe as they try to escape Ghost Hill.

''Jump!'' *leaps off the decaying mountain, looks back* ''We have to leave this world.'' ''You don't have to tell me twice.''

Note how both Sonic and Shadow notice the mountain falling apart, but it is Shadow that grabs Sonic and tosses him off of it, clearly fearing that Sonic wouldn't be fast enough to get away.

As they land, Shadow turns to Sonic, clearly to check on him, who then gives him a thumbs up and they look back at what the mountain fracturing, before Sonic, now very serious, agrees with Shadow that they need to leave.

Something very noticeable about this episode is Sonic's subtle change in character. He becomes more serious, even briefly surprising Shadow, who over the course of the episode shows a trait that we haven't seen much from him in the mainstream media - his protective side.

During their escape from Ghost Hill, Shadow takes on the role of the leader, pointing out how they need to gain speed to get out and to get to higher ground and we see him and Sonic working together to get out. He helps Sonic to get to higher ground, telling him to go faster.

Unfortunately, they get knocked back by the shattering crystals, with Sonic spotting the Ghost Variants of his friends, approaching them. He is clearly grief-stricken, still wanting to find a way to save his friends.

Now, observe how Shadow acts during this scene.

''I thought we went over this. They're not real.'' ''Maybe I can save them. I have to try.''

As Sonic observes the Ghost Variants of his friends in grief, Shadow approaches him, reminding him that they're not real, while Sonic insists on trying to save them. Shadow's voice has no harshness in it, but in fact, he sounds quite gentle, even reaching out for Sonic to comfort him, only to pull his hand back when Sonic turns to him.

Shadow here doesn't just show his protective side, but is also willing to comfort Sonic, clearly understanding the loss and grief the blue hedgehog is going through. As a matter of fact, if any character understands how it feels to lose something important, it's Shadow.

''No! They can't be saved. Think about your real friends, the ones who still have a chance. If you wanna help them, we need to get out of here.''

Take note of how just animated Shadow is (animated as in alert). He stops Sonic in his tracks, reminding Sonic that they cannot be saved and reminding him that he still has friends that need his help, which I assume to be the Shatterverse Variants. He is very firm with Sonic, who tries to look past him at the Ghost Variants, only for Shadow to keep Sonic's attention on him.

I think that this is a good moment to say that Shadow may have feared that Sonic would give into his grief. They are in real danger and they need to get going and he doesn't want Sonic to stay at Ghost Hill any longer than they have to, fearing that he would lose Sonic as well. Shadow doesn't even try to leave on his own, making sure that Sonic comes with him.

Notice that Sonic also gets, if not angry, then at least annoyed with Shadow for a moment, pushing him back as he approaches his friends. I'm certain that he understands Shadow's fears, but he still needs a moment to process his grief.

''Tails... I'll see you again little buddy.'' *wipes off tears, turns to Shadow* ''Let's get outta here.''

This time, Shadow lets Sonic have his moment, having understood that Sonic needs this. Fortunately, Sonic knows that he needs to hurry up, so after saying his good-byes, he wipes his tears and tells Shadow that they should get out of this place. Honestly, it is quite heartbreaking, as this has hit Sonic really hard, and he is lucky that he has Shadow by his side.

As they escape, we can literally see them working at sync, at times not even needing words to understand what the other wants or thinks, just a look and a nod and they're already on their next move, pinballing out into The Void as Ghost Hill shatters into nothing.

When Ghost Hill literally exploded and they got hit by the debris, I actually thought Shadow was about to fall off that crystal, but fortunately, he manages to hang on and they climb up.

Not gonna lie, this shot of them is really cute.

''Nine betrayed you and left us to die, and he will pay for it.''

Pay attention to Shadow's words here. Even though he brings up Nine's betrayal, he says ''Nine betrayed you''. He points out to Sonic that Nine betrayed him specifically, not blaming the blue hedgehog at all for what happened.

In fact, Shadow is ready to get his revenge on Nine, and I think it's not only because Nine left them to die and their world to decay, but because Nine hurt Sonic. I believe that this moment was Shadow's own way of comforting Sonic and showing his support for him, something Sonic quietly acknowledges.

''Ghost Hill is gone! The Shards are gone!'' ''If knowing you has taught me anything, there is always another way.'' ''Wait, was that a compliment?'' *gives Sonic a 'Don't push it' look*

The little conversation we have here is genuinely heartwarming. Sonic is frustrated that both Ghost Hill and the Shards are gone, and then Shadow actually cheers him up by reminding him how there is always another way, something Sonic looks excited about, as Shadow basically gave him a compliment. Shadow, of course, shuts it down with a 'Don't push it' look.

Honestly, it is amazing to see how far they have come, with both Sonic and Shadow being comfortable enough in each other's presence to open up a little (Sonic showing grief for his friends and Shadow acknowledging Sonic's infinite optimism).

Shadow is essentially Sonic's rock here, as Sonic is still processing his loss and currently not in the right state of mind to focus on anything. He manages to cheer Sonic up, giving him hope that there is still a chance for their reality to be saved.

When Shadow points out how Nine is still out there, hiding in one of the Shatterspaces, Sonic suddenly remembers The Grim and the fifth Shard, before avoiding a floating crystal that causes him to fall over. Shadow is relieved to hear that, realizing that this is why Nine was unable to restore Ghost Hill.

''Can you remember where the gateway is?'' ''Of course! Nine brought me there in a Shattercraft. It's, uh, this way! Wait, no, no, uh, right! It's totally this way! Com'n!''

Why did I decide to show you this scene? Pay attention to Shadow's body language when Sonic tries to remember where The Grim was, because it's kind of hilarious.

When Sonic thinks that The Grim is on one side, only to realize that he was mistaken, Shadow gives him that exasperated ''Sonic!'' look, and when Sonic finally remembers, Shadow just shakes his head, figuring this is just Sonic being Sonic, and probably also figuring that he needs to keep an eye on him. As I had said before, Sonic is still not in the right headspace, but he has to keep moving.

''Watch out!'' ''Huh! Thanks buddy!'' ''Don't get used to it.''

Fortunately, he has Shadow, who looks out for him. Also, Shadow's response is kind of hilarious considering what follows next. I think that this is more of a case where Shadow has to be the one to get used to saving Sonic rather than vice versa.

They eventually reach The Grim, with Shadow reminding Sonic that he cannot pass through, but Sonic points out how there is always another way, so they get inside through a rift in the gate. This also where I will end this Part of the analysis.

As we had seen here, Shadow finally shows his protective side, keeping Sonic safe and comforting him whenever possible. I may be repeating myself with this, but given how we haven't seen Shadow like this, I want to savor every single moment of it.

I think that it was a good idea to pair Sonic up with Shadow out of all people. Shadow can keep Sonic focused and he will oppose Sonic when necessary. However, he also shows deep respect for Sonic, and Sonic respects Shadow as well, with both having reached a deeper understanding of each other during their adventure.

Nevertheless, even if there are some changes to how they interact, their core personalities remain the same, but this time, they resonate with each other, their bond having grown stronger than ever.

#Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic Prime, Character Analysis - Part 4)

#Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic Prime, Character Analysis - Part 6)

#Sonic the Hedgehog Analyzer (Masterlist)

[soleil-in-the-sky]

Are you trying to give your OCs something to wear but feel that all you do has no style? Have you scoured the internet for clothing design tutorials and still cant come up with anything you like? Many years ago, I had this problem. I now know that while I knew the basics of clothing design, I did not know how to IMPLEMENT them because I had zero fashion vocabulary! I finally solved this by creating........

My clothing design inspiration board! It has a bunch of different types of clothes, accessories, patterns, and the like!

As a bonus, below the read more are some clothing/costume design advice primarily for character design purposes!

These are (sorta) recreations of notes—made for the general ideas section—which are currently impossible to find (though the advice below has more thoughts.) never mind guys i found them so now this post is gonna be a bit disjointed cause im just gonna slap in any unique advice from there. on top of the fact this has been sitting in my drafts for 3 thousand years. so, if this is hard to understand tell me and i will make a new version with a more unified and serious writing style.

first two-and-a-half advice were written yesterday who knows how long ago on pinterest, thats why they sound so informal. actually the whole post is so informal wow

Varied wardrobe:

[Title: Varied wardrobe]. If you have the time, give your characters different outfits! That can tell us so much more! (Not part of OG notes, but giving OCs different outfits for different situations can reveal stuff about different sides or layers of their personalities/headspaces! You can also just give them a wardrobe of different clothes. Either way, you can have different outfits have similar silhouettes and/or shapes, or have them be completely different, which could be used for a purpose like what I talked about above.)

Layers:

[Title: Layers]. Layers........... layeersssss....... yes.......... uhhh, yea I love layers (this is def not what i sounded like in the OG note) So layers! They make your outfits more interesting! They're really cool and, in my opinion, they make outfits feel more real. Also they give you an excuse to go crazy go stupid with clothing designs hahahahahaha brb im gonna go put 5 shirts on my OC plus 50 scarves and 2 hats (DEF not what I said in the OG notes its been a while and i have a lot more thoughts about this now)

ok and some thoughts from the original notes: Layering can tell us a lot about your character. You can even merge different clothing items! Think about it: short sleeves on long sleeves can make for a unique touch on an otherwise boring shirt. Go ham on the combinations!

Research (this one's important):

[Title: Research (this one's important)]. Research is cool! Look at all those buttons [, click: here: for link], no wonder there was a button shortage. Also obviously you have to research stuff before writing about another culture otherwise its gonna be some inaccurate crap. a well researched portrayal will be way more interesting and research (at least for me) can be rewarding in general. But you can also do research on time periods, jobs, and more! Research can be intimidating, but sometimes, you just gotta do it. And as I said about well-researched portrayals being more interesting, researching can give you ideas you would've never thought about [, click: here: for link to source]. Told ya research makes stuff more interesting. (really realizing these are more than just recaps, wow. im even citing crap.) So yeah, research is important for many aspects of storytelling, including costuming, and even if it's scary, your future self will thank you.

Imagery:

[Title: Imagery]. This is where you unleash your inner English teacher. You slap some object's shape, pattern, image, etc. somewhere to represent something. It could represent some deep-seated secret of the character, but it doesn't even have to be deep. It may just be a simple reference to a personality trait. Where you put the symbolism can also mean different things, like for example, hearts on a character are usually positive symbolism, but a heart on the sole of a shoe can, if you so desire, mean the character crushes others dreams.

Clothing variations:

[Title: Clothing variations]. Just look at this [, click: here: for link to an image of variations of vests]. Details. You can change them. All the details. Play around with them. Go even further, change the details no one notices. Have you ever seen a denim shirt? No? Make it happen. Make all those weird things happen. Yeah, that's it really.

Details:

[Title: Details]. (literally just copy-pasting the original note apart from maybe one awkward word replaced) Simple details like buttons, hemlines, lace or pleats can make your outfit feel all the more real. The possibilities are endless for such small add-ons.

Don't limit yourself to one type of anything, it's why I made this board! (Other than my own lack of ideas.) For example, learning to draw pockets is cool and all, but are you sure that's all you can do? I have a whole section for them!

So yeah that's it. I am tired and this post is very disjointed.

[kanmom51]

Thanks for all your work this past week! I was thinking that Letter really is the song that Jimin said he would want to sing to his love when he answered the question back in 2016. We've always thought of Serendipity and that's certainly a good one, but Letter is so real and personal, I think Serendipity is now the preface and Letter is the forever.

On that note, I've been wondering if the Jimin we see today - confident and so sexy - would have existed if the relationship with JK didn't happen. JK always told/tells him how beautiful, cute, handsome he is, and has beautiful eyes etc. Plus the confidence a great physical relationship can give someone doesn't hurt lol.

One other side note, do you remember that concert when JK said he didn't sleep the night before because he was nervous about something he was going to do? I can't find it but it felt like something really big, like a proposal? Sorry if I missed the answer somewhere.

Thanks again and I love your page, it's my encyclopedia.

Took me a while but I got to you @ftmom1060, lol.

Will start from the end. I think you mean JK said he was nervous so he didn't sleep, not that he was nervous about something he was going to do? What I do remember are these:

I love your take on Letter, as in:

"Serendipity is now the preface and Letter is the forever."

Love this!!

As for your thoughts about JM and who he is today. I think it's easy to assume that JM without being part of BTS since 2012 (pre-debut), and most definitely without having JK by his side ever since, would not have turned out the same as the JM we know today.

It's a given. The people in our lives as we are growing up and maturing have a profound impact on who we become, to go or to bad. And besides JK we also had other people around him with influence that impacted who JM is today.

As for JK, we have his early years at times hurtful teasing (not only JK's for that matter), and we have JK since 2015 doing everything he can to erase all the damage and uplift JM with compliments and kind words and support and defending him and speaking up for him with the others as well.

I am positive that JK's love, adoration, has a lot to do with JM's confidence today, but we do need to remember that our self image comes from within, and even when our loved ones flood us with compliments, if we don't believe this on the inside, it helps, but it's not enough to repair our own self image. So, yes, it obviously helped, I mean, who of us wouldn't want to be complimented constantly, in front of the whole world. Of course it had an effect on him. All I'm saying is that it had to be an internal process as well.

And of course, finding happiness, finding someone you love to bits and adores you right back, being loved by someone like that, it also gives you a sense of confidence.

It definitely helps to know you are loved. It definitley helps to be showered with constant compliments. It helps you build up your confidence, but the initial work has to come from within.

We heard from JM how he struggled through the pandemic. JK was by his side to love him and support him. But at the end of the day it's an internal process he had to go through to get out of the place he was in. I like to look at the lyrics of Like crazy:

This will break me This is gonna break me (Break me) No, don’t you wake me (Wake me) I wanna stay in this dream, don't save me Don't you try to save me (Save me) I need a way we (Way we) I need a way we can dream on (On, on, on)

That part there. It says it all. It's about being lost but not wanting the help offered by others to be found, not when you are not yet ready for it yourself. Once you are ready for it, that is when you will accept that help and help yourself as well.

So yes, JM most likely wouldn't be who he is today if not JK and what they are and mean to each other. But in saying that, let's not underestimate the work that JM has done on himself, how far he has come to be the confident mature young man that he is today.

[space-writes]

SPACE, HI. How are you? I hope you're doing well!!!

I feel like you would appreciate my latest fucked-up dnd character and his backstory, and I need to tell someone or else I'm gonna explode, so here I am, adjakdjs.

For a little context, my Friday DM just went back to college after taking a couple of gap years, and he knows some weeks he won't be able to play bc homework and stuff, and one of our players really wants to DM something, so she decided to run Dungeons of Drakkenheim for us. (If you don't know anything about that setting, tl;dr is there was a magical meteor that destroyed the capital of a country 15 years ago. The whole city is now a horrible corrupted ruin. Something called the Haze covers the whole city and you can't take any long rests in it. The fragments of the meteor contain a mineral called Delirium that is exceptionally powerful for magic, but also causes horrible corruption and mutations. There's 5 factions fighting for control of the ruins, as well as what to do about Delirium.)

So anyways, my character is named Carrion Vice, and while he looks mostly like a tiefling (canonically he was born one and then changed) he's mechanically a Beasthide Shifter. He's also a Path of the Fractured Barbarian (from the Grim Hollow Player's guide. It's an unarmed strike-based barb subclass that literally says when you rage you transform so that you are unrecognizable.)

And basically, Carrion's birth name was Reverence, he was born to a very devout family living in Drakkenheim. When the city was destroyed, he was trapped under rubble for a while. While he was rescued before too long, it was enough to grant him a strange mutation, unlike the "normal" ones from Delirium exposure.

After being rescued and fleeing, he joined up with the Knights of the Silver Order, a group of devout paladins who are sworn to purge the land of "unnatural" things. However, over the years, as his mutation became evident, they grew fearful of it. They came to see him as a monster, and his incurable mutation as a threat to the world.

So one day, while traveling, they decided to get rid of him. But seeing as he had been a member of their band for years at this point, and he saw them as family, they found themselves (most of them, anyways) hard-pressed to run him through themselves. So they tied him up and left him by the side of the remote, rarely-traveled road they were on.

The last interaction Reverence had with them was the Knight-Commander, who had been like a father to him, telling him "Soon you will be nothing but carrion."

He was luckily rescued, a couple of days later, but his faith in both the church, and the Order had been lost. He's determined to kill the Knight-Commander, and bring about the end of the Order that betrayed him. He calls himself Carrion now, so that he can prove the Knight-Commander both right and wrong when he kills him: he maybe be Carrion, but he is far from nothing.

It won't let me send images with anon asks on, but I can show you the picrew I made of this silly little man if you're interested.

hi anon! i’m doing not too bad!!

i am rubbing my hands together i love fucked up dnd characters hell yeah. yo drakkenheim sounds cool as shit what the hell. how have i never heard of this.

CARRION VICE IS A BALLER NAME NO NOTES 10/10

holy shit that’s an excellent fucked up backstory. i hope carrion gets the knight-commander’s ass

absolutely i want to see the picrew. show me the boy!!

[crispy0nion]

takes a deep breath. ik it hasn't even been a day but we need to talk about the umbrella academy season 4. obviously spoilers ahead. and a long, long fucking post full of complaints.

this season got me shinji chairing so hard. what the fuck. six episodes that last barely an hour each and all for THAT ending? don't get me wrong, the ending itself is... not the worst possible outcome, ig, but like. plot holes so big i can fit five's ego in there and still have spare space.

yeah, let's start from there. what the fuck was that? a half-assed five/lila romance was the last thing we needed. call me a hater, tell me i don't know how to appreciate complex stories, idc. that sucked ass. not only is it creepy in so many ways, but it also brought absolutely NOTHING to the story. "oh but if that didn't happen then five wouldn't have accidentally wandered into the station's coffee shop and met himself" I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!!!! IT COULD'VE HAPPENED IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS!!!!!! AND FIVE KNOWS BETTER THAN TO THROW HANDS WITH HIS BROTHER OVER A GIRL WHILE THE REST OF THEIR SIBLINGS ARE FIGHTING THE DAMN BLOB OF DEATH!!!

moving on ig. i don't like how allison's past actions seemed to be simply forgotten. i know they acknowledge it a couple times and that it's been six years, but lord almighty she assaulted luther, got him killed, and betrayed her entire family for a father that never cared about any of them. i don't think i could forgive that so easily (i'm looking at you klaus).

about the plot holes. first off, i would've appreciated even just a slight explanation of what the fuck reginald and abigail are? are they aliens? are they robots? are they alien robots? also, side note, what the fuck did reginald even do to grace atp? did he create a robot in the image of a human lady or did he turn the human lady into a robot???? and back to abigail for a moment: ?????????? and also the obsidian hotel????? AMERICA EXPLAIN. EXPLAIN

more plot holes: the solution to the cleanse problem. five said that the only way to fix the timelines is to let the cleanse happen, aka absorb them, so that the marigold inside them is destroyed since that's what split the timelines, no? and they made a big deal out of lila leaving because they needed all of the marigold holders to partake in this. except that YOU EIGHT IDIOTS ARE NOT ALL THE OCTOBER 1ST KIDS IN THE WORLD. THERE'S MORE, THAT WAS LIKE 43 WOMEN WHO GAVE BIRTH YOU DUMB FUCKING CUNTS. WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER 35 KIDS. uhm. sorry about that. moving on.

did not like how jennifer's character was treated at all. no time to develop, no time to get us to know her. straight to the blob of death without even explaining what was going on. how did the durango end up in her body? who even created that anyways? how did she end up in a damn fucking giant squid? why was she talking about the cleanse? what the fuck? listen im sure the comics explain this and ik this show is supposed to be a bit... confusing and nonsensical, but this is info you can't just leave out. feels like lazy writing.

and how the fuck did the cleanse cult even know that this nonesense that a kid coming out of a squid was blabbering about was connected to them having dreams of other timelines? how the fuck did jean and gene know? what?

yk what, im also gonna throw in some more personal points of view in here. i did not understand a single thing about the timeline/universe/whatever they ended up in at the end of s3. is it a new universe? if so, why is everything the same and WHY is the timeline still fucked? and where's the academy in this timeline? does it not exist? why? why and how is abigail still alive? was she even dead in s1, on the moon? or was that a cryo capsule? if so, why keep her there?

and there's more folks! why did the timeline train not stop at lila and five's stop? that was random and never explained, and feels like lazy writing, again. or like an excuse to get a specific two people to mingle just to create an unnecessary and unwanted love triangle? perchance?

lastly, how can claire and lila and diego's children still exist if their parents were erased from existence? and since they still exist but their parents never did, how does it work? do lila's parents just look after these random kids? without reason? wouldn't not having existing parents at all create legal problems?

overall, i have a lot of issues with this season. it feels extremely rushed, and honestly quite boring in comparison to the other three. and the lack of explanations makes it so hard to enjoy because i'm busy being confused. im not so mad about the ending, i kinda saw it coming (my choice was between they all die or they get stuck in a loop), and I don't think it's necessarily a bad ending for a story like this one. i am a bit sad, yes, and i will miss these characters and regret the fact that they didn't get the lives they deserved, but i think it's an ok ending. not the best, but ok. but the rest of the season? ass. yet another show absolutely ruined by netflix's inability to see past money and actually produce a good ending instead of rushing things. peace ✌️

[mosthuggableffxiv]

"Didn't Quite Make It" Poll

Propaganda (including the Estinien rant I alluded to a while back, which is probably the outside edge of allowable propaganda) and images below.

Erik: "talks down to the wol constantly, assumes they're an unintelligent musclehead, preaches to his fellow ala mhigans about the 'correct' way to rebel against garlemald in a similar tone, generally kind of a massive dickhead through the majority of the questline"

Estinien: "I HATE HIS STUPID GUTS. “OHHHH IM THE AZURE DRAGOON. THE ONLY AZURE DRAGOON!” BITCH NIDHOGG’S EYEBALL COULDNT RESIST ME AND MADE ME THE SECOND AZURE DRAGOON. BUT DO YOU TELL ISHGARD? DO YOU EVEN TELL YOUR BESTIE AYMERIC? NO. I BEAT YOUR ASS AND THEN YOU HAVE THE GALL TO CASUALLY BRING UP THE TIME YOU TRIED TO KILL ME LIKE ITS A FUNNY HAHA MEMORY. AND THEN LIKE SOME DUMBASS YOU CONVENIENTLY FORGET THAT NIDHOGG POSSESSED YOU ALREADY AND GET YOUR HANDS ON BOTH OF HIS JUICY EYEBALLS. YOU DIDN’T EVEN THINK OF OFFERING ONE TO ME! ME! THE SECOND AZURE DRAGOON WHO IS CONVENIENTLY HERE AND COULD HAVE PREVENTED YOU GETTING POSSESSED. AND ON TOP OF THAT YOU STOLE ALPHINAUD FROM ME. I WAS THERE ALONGSIDE HIM WHEN ALL OF UL’DAH WAS AGAINST US BUT INSTEAD HE LOOKS UP TO YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU TAUGHT HIM TO COLLECT FIREWOOD. THIS ISNT EVEN ALL OF WHY I HATE HIM. FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT PISS RAT WHO CAN’T EVEN DEAL WITH MOOGLES FOR A FEW MINUTES WHILE IM BUSTING MY ASS DOING FETCH QUESTS FOR A STUPID MINION LOCKED BEHIND TRIBAL QUESTS."

G'raha Tia: "He was an annoying little shit (I love him now though. I’m so sorry G’Raha T^T)" (Note: the submitter specified that this was just for his appearance in the Crystal Tower raids and not later on)

Hancock: "Just look. At his face. He is a smug little capitalist bastard who just happens to be on our side."

Khloe: "the myth of three lines"

Krile: "Spends her first interactions clowning on Alphinaud pretty harshly and while he usually deserves it he is also my baby and I want to kick her ass for it"

Lue-Reeq: "Brags about having so much money, gives out pocket change he mooched from his parents. Whines when the WoL has a poorly-timed Echo. Prevented me from having quality time with the Bard Boys in ShB."

Radlia: "I’m gonna be honest her facial expressions are fun to imagine socking her to but I’m mostly submitting her because I feel bad for ranting about my personal vendetta against est*nien earlier. She’s a lovely heel character! Very punchable." (Note: this was the same submitter as the above Estinien rant)

Rhitahtyn: "Poor bastard. I'd say beating him isn't even fun anymore but the new solo duty is actually very cool."

The Warrior of Light: "Cause it's us"

[aprillikesthings]

It's Fridayyyyy

TIME FOR MORE SHE-RA

s1 ep11 Promise

oh shit I remember this one it's a heartbreaker

(good stuff for my fic though)

Hey remember when I swore up and down I wasn't going to liveblog my entire rewatch? Good times.

Part of me is like: I would get through these so much faster if I didn't insist on screenshotting them and commenting and making jokes

But the rest of me knows damn well I probably just wouldn't bother watching them?? This way feels a bit like watching it *with* someone, which I always prefer to watching things alone.

Also tbh if I did just marathon them while knitting or something I wouldn't remember anything!! Which would defeat the point!! So here I am.

If you're new to these posts: I am doing a rewatch of She-Ra with the specific purpose of taking notes for a fic I'm working on--but because this is me we're talking about, I also post a ton of screenshots with the purposes of commentary, squeeing at specific scenes, and making jokes. Because it's a rewatch, I don't comment on every plot point and I often mention things that happen later in the show--in other words, these might be confusing if you haven't seen the show yet.

EDIT: yeah this was another one where I hit the image limit, will have to reblog to finish it

I know people have figured out the "alphabet" of the first ones what does this sayyyyy

I mean wouldn't they all be portable in some sense? The one that recharges Glimmer could be taken down and moved somewhere, couldn't it? We know the one from Scorpia's kingdom was taken and moved to the Fright Zone, for instance.

"Query not recognized."

Adora's frustration here is exactly why I don't use Siri, like, ever.

Light Hope reminds me of a specific model? actress? from the 1980's but I can never remember who and it drives me CRAZY

*does some googling*

GRACE JONES I AM THINKING OF GRACE JONES

TELL ME I'M WRONG

Grace Jones also did disco music, TIL

back to cartoon lesbians

yeah that couldn't have been important for anything no worries it's fine

you didn't notice anyone else there until She-Ra destroyed something lolol

ehehehehehehh

Look I know it's the point of the whole show but I grin every time they're supposed to be on opposite sides and one saves the other's life (Does Adora do it more than Catra does? surely someone kept count)

don't mind me

little shit

🎵BUT YOU DID IT ANYWAYYYYYY🎶

"how many times are you going to make that joke" well how many times does Catra say it lolll

"where are your friends?" "you mean the ones you KIDNAPPED and CURSED???" "uh, yeah?"

lol

I just like the art style here

Okay so I can't screenshot audio, but that little moment of Catra saying "Adora? Adora???" where the tone goes from "hey look at this" to that almost-panic and then she turns around and it's kid!Catra is just so, SO well done.

ugh these scenes are such a punch in the gut

I'm not getting emotional at cartoon characters remembering the happier bits of their shitty traumatic childhood together, YOU ARE

;_;

man this shot is just good, ugh, you can see so much of their characters on display: Adora's self-righteousness vs Catra's sullen defensiveness

anyway they should've made out

lol

they're 1:1 so far this episode

(even though this cliff probably isn't even real)

"Did you really think I'd just let Shadow Weaver erase your memory like that?" oh so she DID know

Adora: "I don't know, probably" I mean I thought she would

I've been CALLED OUT lol

Adora: "Can you blame me? Catra: "*scoffs* Not really"

😏

John Cena.gif

BABIES (okay a little older like maybe 13)

(still babies)

I mean, true

I'VE HIT THE IMAGE LIMIT FOR THIS POST lol I knew I would

gonna post and reblog