#also screw Starbucks they suck

[lifeisstrange-incorrectquotes]

Victoria, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with uhhh, seven espresso shots?

Rachel, next in line: Jesus Christ, just do cocaine.

[fortunately-bi]

Saw your target tags and yeah I worked in their Starbucks as a seasonal (first job) they were in the process of raising wages to $15.25 for employees and talked about how proud they were that they own their starbucks and aren't affiliated with stand alone stores. Then told me they're paying me $9/hr because that's what starbucks paid (2015). Then scheduled me to be a target cashier the Saturday before Xmas eve with no training on anything other than lattes. While continuing to pay me $9/hr because I was a barista.

I worked at the Starbucks as well at my location and I gotta say, the audacity of that company is astounding. They pride themselves on things like being the LGBT+ friendly store, and treating their employees so well and whatever but when I was there I was treated like garbage. I had a manager who would aggressively misgender me and even use my dead name despite having name tags with my pronouns on them and she only found my dead name through paperwork. We would frequently hear about people going on "extended leave" which became code word for quitting but they're got involved in something they shouldn't but we're trying to keep a lid on it. There was crazy amounts of homophobia and transphobia from management despite frequent outcry about it from employees, usually in my defense. I'm not gonna get into my other experiences because they go into what target would call a "conflict of interest" instead of just downright abuse. I remember one of my last shifts was me crying in the back room all by myself after having to work several days in a row all by myself during holiday season during night shifts and a nice older woman asked if she could have some water and saw me crying. She told me to leave, she told me no job was worth crying that hard over, and that she could see in my eyes that I knew what I needed to do. A few days later I got in a fight with my manager after she cornered me and I had a breakdown and I was fired for saying ✨fuck✨ while I was crying in the back room.

Anyways, Targets are well known for overworking their staff, cross training them so they can throw people around the store to do whatever (usually fulfillment) and never end up being consistent, and honestly just about everything in the book of what a retailer shouldn't do. Fulfillment alone is a position at Target that workers have been demanding better conditions for because the apps allow customers to abuse the system and order a ton of items then send workers on a crazy run with the most minimal time possible to do it. For those who don't know the devices (Zebras) you use to scan items track your progress and let you know when a customer has arrived. Have you ever walked into a Target and wondered why you keep hearing car beeps around the store? That's those things going off telling you that you have an order to fill or that the customer has arrived, now imagine how many times you hear that sound, and notice how few people you see running around with the carts filling orders. Its the position with the highest turnover rate because it's overworked with zero protections from customers, I've even heard of employees getting hit by cars while delivering an order. Target acts like they're the most ethical company to shop at but they're honestly just like the rest of them, only difference is they put a lot of money into making their stores look cleaner then they actually are.

In conclusion

Target needs to fuckin unionize.

[jewish-culture-is]

Jewish culture is feeling embarrassed specifying at Starbucks that you need the drink to be made with oatmilk (or a different non-dairy milk of your choice) because you know all the boomer-y jokes about "this generation with their stupid plant milk back in my day we drank real milk" and also you don't want to make a hassle for the barista but also if you consume caffeine with dairy you will not have a very good rest of your day. and then half the time starbucks screws it up and you end up with real milk in your coffee and spend the rest of the day with stomach pain and gas so foul it could kill someone. lactose + caffeine = hell

I too am lactose intolerant and it sucks so hard

[lesbianrobin]

howdy em, any advice for focusing on studies instead of my hobbies? I love my fandom blurbs so much but sometimes it’s to my downfall xp

babes i appreciate your high opinion of me but i am SO not the bitch to ask. i'm literally terrible at time management and focusing on boring shit FKVJDJD but here's some stuff that sorta works for me. sorta.

incorporate your interests into your schoolwork whenever possible. obviously this is gonna be a task of varying difficulty depending on the assignment and what you're studying, but if you Can write your paper about stranger things or create a fun visual project in photoshop to display your data or whatever, you're gonna be more motivated to work.

sorta on that note you know that thing where you read a fanfic and it's like so incredibly obvious that the author works in a specific field or has expertise with a specific thing? you could be that author. if you can't incorporate your interests into your work, try incorporating your work into your interests! idk about you but i definitely have more fun and feel more motivated when i'm researching for a fic than i do when i'm just doing a random assigned reading. as you study, you might keep a list in the back of your mind of ways that this could potentially benefit a future fic or whatever to keep you engaged.

i personally once made a stranger things gifset to explain the history of color in film to procrastinate studying for my film history final and guess what! i was actually just studying for my film history final! in a weird ass nerd way!!

be flexible with your studies. i typically write at least 50% of any given assignment on my phone, because i'll get ideas at random moments or seize small pieces of downtime throughout the day to get work done. it can be helpful to designate certain times and spaces for schoolwork, but in my own personal experience, sometimes that can make the whole thing feel much more intimidating, and i won't get any more work done than i would have while typing on my phone in bed. i also find that restricting schoolwork to a specific time/place makes me view it as more of an obligation, when the truth is that i love what i study! i love to learn! so, i try to treat my studies as a hobby whenever possible. my fic and paper writing processes are nearly identical, and i think that helps in easing some of the pressure and dread that might accompany the thought of Writing A Paper.

this one is boring but just. reward yourself when you do focus on your studies! when i used to pull late nights in undergrad to get my work done on time, i would often take a trip to sonic when i was around halfway through with my work, for both a brain reset and a little reward. the first time i did it, i just didn't have any food for dinner in my apartment, but it quickly became a ritual that made me look forward to getting work done.

study in public when possible. this one sounds so stupid but literally the power of knowing that anybody around you in the starbucks or library or whatever could see you on tumblr/ao3/etc is NOT to be underestimated! i am a very insecure and self conscious person and i use this to my advantage. would you rather that cool-looking girl at the table next to you see you thoughtfully annotating marx or scrolling aimlessly through ao3? think about it.

ok that's like most of it i guess! but in all honestly i am still figuring it out myself. i think the key is just to keep on trying. it takes time to figure out what works for you and what doesn't, and there are gonna be times when you screw up and make a poor choice that backfires. instead of thinking about how much you suck, or writing it off entirely, look at these instances as opportunities to learn and consider how you might set yourself up to make better choices in the future.

anyway i'll get off my high horse and shut up now LMAO thank you for like thinking i am smart enough to come to with such a question. good luck!

[strapskinkstories]

Mar 29 2024 - Where’s the content? WHERES THE FUNDING! WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF FUNDING!

theres been no new content because there’s a funding crisis. Provisional talks are in progress with an angel funder who might save strappyskinks from going belly up due to lack of funding.

That all said. One angel investor can’t float me forever.

See this? You can actually donate towards my clothing food electric internet phone and other things eligible to be paid from my disability trust account.

Before you ask: can gear come from the trust account?

Answer:YES! - Gear is classified either as clothing not otherwise specified or sensory therapy equipment not otherwise specified.

Ultimate dream is for this trust account to explode one day. How is it findoms can get a damn Lamborghini and have people constantly fill its tank and get them sushi and Starbucks when I can’t even complete one of my basic life goals Pay off the house so me and my caregiver can live in peace without worrying about busting ourselves or ending up out of runway to run the business. StrappysKinks is very much technically a business. Even though the product is free. I create content, written video and photographic as well as AI generated entertainment art.

All that content has *intrinsic value* that intrinsic value so you are all aware. Per video. The intrinsic value of an approximately 50 minute bondage video of Amateur/ProAm (I consider myself ProAm at the actual gear stuff. Still kinda amateur on the camera work cut me some slack, I’m working on zero funding right now! Read: out of pocket funding from my already paltry social security) costs pay per view $20.99 YOU PEOPLE HAVE OVER 50 OF SUCH VIDEOS FREE! That’s over $2,500 OF VIDEO CONTENT PER PERSON THAT IS FREE! 100 views would usually = $2,099 if I were running hard core PAY PER VIEW.

I don’t. Because I think paysites suck. And I also think JFF onlyfans all that sucks.

But let me continue. Then there’s my thousands of stories and now my anesthesia stories. Per document a story typically is about $1-$5 let’s just assume I’ve written 5000 stories and documents to keep shit simple. That is again $5000 of content PER PERSON THAT IS FREELY AVAILABLE. AS FREE AS GATDAMN LINUX! Now let’s talk about my image library. It’s on Flickr and spans 14,000 images. Typically a photo set in a paysite is like $10.99 so a little division aaaand the math comes out to… 466 image sets or a value of $4,660 PER PERSON FREELY ACCESSIBLE. It’s late. I can’t math right now. I’m too upset but when I just smash those numbers together and total them up you get. As a single viewer. If you access all of my social medias and my Flickr and use my XHamster. $15,000 of content FOR FREE!!!

I cannot continue as the American economy shoots disabled people in the foot and also screws over low income LGBTQ folks to produce content for free. Something has to change.

Either I have to shut down production. Whoa. Holy fuck.

I didn’t expect the outcry to be so intense. It wasn’t even outcry on Twitter.

The telegram group members went into total open outcry status.

Ok. So. Shutting down production is not an option.

Sustaining production at current funding levels is impossible. Especially considering I just lost $120 per month of government funds thanks to reckless cuts on food stamps and the affordable connectivity program being recklessly ended by a Congress that I can only politely describe as a pile of diarrhea dung from a deathly ill cow with mad cow disease.

So. This is not a tribute me. This isn’t a fucking pay up call.

This is a do me a favor.

Look at yourself in the mirror.

Think about how many times you’ve probably jacked off looking at my videos or photos. Then think about how much time money and gear it takes to make that entertainment material go from here to your screen. I want my 3000 something followers (as I am carbon copying this onto Twitter Etc as well) Do the following

1. Self reflect on your consumption of my media. You owe it to chip a dollar or two in if you’ve done so much as listened to a minute or two of my video. An average street musician gets a hundred dollars a day if they are in a good area. If you’ve watched my videos and you’ve done nothing not even liked them retweeted them or thought about donating them. Are you really being a sustainable consumer? Sustainable consumers support the creators who provide them content. If they can’t give financial support at the least hit the goddamned retweet button. It is not hard! One tap or click ffs!

2. ITS TAX DEDUCTIBLE! (Not sure if you can deduct for 2023 still. But you can deduct it on your 2024 taxes.) So instead of sending money to the fat cats at some national charity where the executives take multimillion dollar paychecks IM LOOKING AT YOU YA MOTHERFUCKERS AUTISM SPEAKS. WE DONT WANT A CURE RESEARCHED AND WE DONT NEED YOUR DAMN BIG HONKY TONK GALAS ON TV EITHER.

3. Realize that if funding doesn’t change in the next 20 days. Immediate cutbacks will begin and by 2026 StrapsKinks will entirely stop filming, photographing, producing AI art, and writing stories as all funding will be exhausted and instead of engaging in kink I’ll have to start selling off gear and computer equipment as we do last ditch efforts to make ends meet before ending up in a shitty apartment rental again or worse homeless. So yeah. Thanks everyone. Thanks for almost a decade of consume consume consume. All without giving back a damn dime. Hopefully this makes things start changing and before the first April 21 cutoff. If funding doesn’t increase by April 21 Twitter stories will permanently cease and the StrappysKinks website will be slated for destruction. If funding doesn’t increase by June gear purchases from Bronco and other planned vendors will be postponed and or canceled If by December funding does not increase there will likely be no further new gear acquisitions and if equipment breaks it won’t be replaced. If by January 2025 nothing changes. All Twitter accounts and the Tumblr will be deleted. The Flickr account will be deleted. The website will be erased in preparation for the October 2025 termination of the StrappysKinks services. At that time anyone who has my contact details will know me and those left in the community simply won’t. At that point I’ll just disappear off of social media and take all my stuff down.

Because guess what.

I’m not leaving $15,000 of content available for free if I go bankrupt. So sit down. Think about what you people are doing to small creators especially those with disabilities and think. Do you want to see StrapsKinks go bankrupt.

The fate rests in your hands folks. This is a publicly funded venture technically. Public funding from the federal and private……. Yeah that’s the problem. Nobody done fuckin stepped up to actually do the funding. Let’s hope this funder that is on the lines actually comes through because if he does his single round could set us back onto at least able to sustain current production even if it does mean slowing down gear purchases. That said. If new funding lines are not received by January 2025 *STRAPPYSKINKS WILL GO BANKRUPT*

[isamabella]

I should really stop using this as personal diary but I feel like only writing my issues in a book isn’t helpful. basically ive been varying levels of depressed for the last 2 weeks. im not someone to cry often but ive been on the verge of tears for weeks now. ive overspent insane amounts of money. im lucky it didn't impact me much because ive been saving most of it for student loan payments. to put it in perspective, I spent amount $200 at barnes and noble in the last week. not including the Starbucks, dutch bros, and general treats. I bought so much bath stuff in the last 2 weeks. i think that was also about $200 which I used after pay or whichever one it was. 

for the last week my brain hasn't stopped or slowed down. im wanting to do everything and anything I never had the chance to do before. im wanting to do theater again after almost 10 years, I want to learn the cello or viola despite not knowing a single thing about music, I want to skate more than there are times available even though I truly suck at it. I cant pick just one thing and it's upsetting because I really feel like I need to do it all. I want to call out of work in 3 hours but we’re so short staffed I would screw everyone over. I also have 2 of the busiest doctors to work for so im clearly excited.

I want my sleep to be better but it's either im sad or too distracted depending on the day to even lie down. I want for my life to go the way I wanted, but the anxiety has only worsened as I get older.

[einno-arko]

Moon Boys and their Starbucks orders

Steven goes to Starbucks the most because 1.) It's convenient for him to do so, especially when he's constantly running late and 2.) He enjoys the simpler things in life. Plus the barista is always nice to him (she remembers his orders and his name, spells it right too). He likes the refreshers, specifically the colored drinks (Pink Drink or the Dragon Drink), but he mostly likes the White Mocha or the Caramel Macchiato. When it's holiday season, he'll get the Pumpkin Spice (Fall) and the Toasted White Mocha (Winter). He won't ever ask for too many customizations though because he doesn't want to feel like too much of a nuisance. He likes to get them warm, and he prefers blonde shots with either Almond milk or Oat Milk.

Marc used to go with Layla from time to time, and when he did, he would either get a cup of drip or an americano. He was never a big fan of overly sweet drinks with too much creme, black coffee, burnt or perfect, gets the job done. However, after Steven and him grew closer, Steven somehow managed to get Marc into the regular Mocha. He'll drink that on rare occasions (because the regular mocha isn't that sweet either). Jake also got Marc into cold brews, he actually really likes the nitro because it's both super caffinated and it's creamier than the regular (while having no cream in it)

Jake really enjoys his coffee. He doesn't enjoy many things in life, but a good cup of coffee is a guilty pleasure of his. He could explain to someone the intricacies of coffee making, from the way beans are processed and how that affects the taste and texture, to how long milk should be steamed for. He prefers plain Lattes, Flat Whites or Macchiatos. If he's in a hurry, he'll go for a Dark Roast (he enjoys the chocolate notes of the blend) or he'll spice it up and get a French Vanilla Latte (if he's really feeling one). He doesn't typically go to Starbucks though, he thinks their espresso sucks and he'll wind up going to a small, local Cafe instead (plus, screw Starbucks? Respectfully, of course. And their shots do suck)

(Post inspired by @darlinglittlemeg)

[dittolicous]

I'm literally at my wits end with my job and it's been leaving me SO drained lately. Let me just set the scene.

We are a grocery store in Texas that sits on the sea front. Literally. We're right on the Sea wall. It's normally hot as balls. And we're a tourist destination, with cruise ships dotting the horizon. But again, GROCERY STORE.

Here's a list of things we're not allowed:

Only baggers can wear shorts. The rest of us have to do JEANS or BLACK PANTS. I literally was told if they can see my ankle, it's too short. I was wearing jean capris that just barely showed off my socks and was told they weren't acceptable. I stand about 5 to 10 feet from open doors at any given point. =)

We're not allowed to have ANY personal items with us on the floor. This includes lunchpacks that only have drinks in them. (And COATS that we're not wearing).

We're not allowed to buy stuff on the clock. Including drinks. (Do you see an issues?)

There are no water fountains. Only baggers get free water bottles.

Starbucks will give us free cups of ice water! ....You have to wait in line. =) (DO YOU SEE AN ISSUE?)

We are not allowed to have any 'loose' personal items..... IN OUR BREAK ROOM. No backpacks, no jackets, no umbrellas, nada. It must all be kept in our tini tiny lockers. Backpack doesn't fit? SUCKS. (We can't even set them ON TOP of the lockers ffs). There are NO COAT RACKS. LOCKER. THAT'S ALL.

So literally. I, who can hardly find time to go the restroom, cannot have a pack to keep cold drinks on me while I work next to open doors to a beachfront, in JEANS or BLACK PANTS, nor am I allowed to buy one and or have time to wait in the Starbucks line. I have to find someone to watch my station so I can RUN TO OUR BREAK ROOM. To open my lunchpack with cold drinks.

And the manager had the GALL to tell me to just stick an extra into our ice machine cooler which 1) I was told I wasn't allowed numerous times and 2) had THREE DRINKS STOLEN because I did just that.

Plus, I got all fails in my 'observation' today because I wasn't 'talking to the customers' after have basically 5 customers bitch at me in a row because they wouldn't listen to me and management bitching at me for daring to stand at my station when I had ZERO CUSTOMERS and I wasn't cleaning the crevices of the checkout stations (aka the inbetween parts that cut up my hand last time I tried because they're two small and right next to screws and sharp corners). I've NEVER gotten all fails, not once.

Meanwhile they can't keep workers FOR SHIT. We're literally short everyday, every shift, because people are constantly calling in or quitting, and they want to bitch that no one wants to work. (Yet I've been wanting to work in our help desk, something the help desk workers agree I'd be good at, and have told no less than 5 SUPERVISORS AND A MANAGER in the past 2 years who also 'agree' but guess who still hasn't been trained while they continue to say they don't have the manpower to fill the position =))))) )

I almost starting crying at work out of anger because literally every time I turned around nothing I was doing was good enough for ANYONE. I hate my job, I fucking hate it so much, I'm tired all the time, they treat us like shit, talk down to us, and go 'we're just doing what corporate wants' all while we're all miserable as shit and those of us that have been there for more than a year all hate it and only hang on because we have no other options.

I hate it I hate it. And to top it all off, I'm 90% sure I have a light cold and that's why I've been so out of it this week.

[roseprincessarts]

5 X ShadowSilver -- Bonding

Here's a romantic sketch I made of 5 and my OC ShadowSilver having a bond together 😍. Isn't this ship romantic and beautiful? 💞

Get this: I bought Blender on my computer, and I tried to figure out how it works.:/ Hopefully someone who knows Blender and give me tips how to do it or watch tutorials. I downloaded one model, but I couldn't get that model into the frame:/. Also, I tried DeviantArt Moro painting on the computer, but it turned out difficult to draw on the computer. I might practice more lol.

Also, I rewatched 9 on my DVD last night with my Starbucks marshmallow hot cocoa, and I thought of watching the short film of 9 either before or after the film, but I changed my mind and said "Eh, screw it. I'll watch it some other time when I get my own TV.

Oh! Speaking of TV, months ago when I got a new large TV from the small one (the small one I had sucked ass:(), the HDMI2 was busted. I was like "Ah shit >:("). So my mom suggested to get the one that hooks up to the wall.

So yeah....

Anyways, this drawing turned out pretty well😊. I liked how ShadowSilver's hair turned out, though I added lines to make it like she had curls (even though it might not look like it 😅), and added a rose crown for her:3. As for 5, he is not that bad, but his fingers were horribly not the way I wanted:/. But hey, what y'all think?❤️❤️❤️

5 and 9 ©Shane Acker, Tim Burton, Timur Bekmambetov and Focus Features

ShadowSilver ©SuperShadowSilver

[dreamescapeswriting]

Pink Drink Of Death ~ MYG [Request]

↱↱↱Word Count: 957

↱↱↱Genre: Fluffy, with crack?

↱↱↱Pairing: Min yoongi x reader

↱↱↱A/N: I hope this is alright for you love I’m sorry it’s short!!

Having a 24 hour Starbucks open near was one of the best things to happen to you, one of, the other was being able to date one of the most incredible men you'd ever had the pleasure of meeting. Mr Min Yoongi. Who had been locked away in his studio for the last two nights, it was starting to get to you. Normally you wouldn't mind but you'd missed him and he had only just gotten back from tour.

"Thank you, enjoy your night." You said to the Starbucks worker as you took your drink and Yoongi's out towards your car if he was going to lock himself away in his tall tower you were going to have to be the Flynn Ryder of the relationship and rescue him...Also, pray that he didn't hit you with an 8lbs skillet...Come to think of it how was Flynn even alive you shook your head at how easily distracted you were and got into the car to start driving to the BigHit building.

"Hi Kirk," You greeted as you walked past one of the night security who'd known you years,

"Evening!" He called back and you smiled getting into the lift while holding your drinks, you sucked on your teeth while you waited to ascend to the top floor. You were dressed in nothing but a pair of sweatpants and one of Yoongi's shirts so you were glad it was the middle of the night instead of the day time where everyone could see you like this.

You hit your anniversary date into the keypad - whoever said he wasn't romantic, such a cutie pie - and walked into the studio to see Yoongi hunched over at the desk with a pair of large headphones over his ears. You walked over to him and started rubbing his shoulders,

"Mmm, Hi." He greeted taking off the headphones and smiling up at you, you kissed his lips like in the scene from spiderman only less wet and less gross.

"Hi, I brought you a coffee. Metal straws?" He gestured over into the corner of the room where his shelves were and you walked over to them, finding the straws you'd gotten him in a pen pot.

"I really want to reorganise your studio," You groaned, always joking to him that he was so unorganised that if he didn't have his head screwed on tight enough he would lose it in there. The place itself was tidy but the way he had things organised just annoyed you,

"Here," You handed him the straws and began rearranging the pen pots, moving pens in with real pens and moving metal straws and chopsticks into their own pot to be together. You'd spent an entire night once organising every single CD he had in there, putting everything into the right CD case before putting them in alphabetical order only for Jungkook to mess it all up again months later.

"I thought I told you-"

"Ah what the fuck?" You span around thinking he'd hurt himself by the sound of his voice, he sounded as though someone had just punched him in the face or had badly insulted him but when you turned around he had your drink in his hand and his face was screwed up. You bit on your lip to suppress the giggle that was trying to explode out of you, he began smacking his lips together as if that would somehow get the taste out of his mouth but it only made it harder for you not to laugh.

"What is that?!" He yelled wiping his mouth and then reaching for his own black coffee.

"A pink drink," You giggled, he knew you'd never been a fan of coffee because it was a bitter taste for you but he never thought you'd drink something so sweet it tasted like straight sugar.

"The pink drink of death! How do you drink that? It tastes like rainbows and puppies."

"You know what rainbows and puppies taste like?" You raised your eyebrow at him and he groaned at you, glancing at the time then back to your face,

"It's 3 in the morning what are you even doing here? Or are you too hyped up on that thing?" You shrugged your shoulders and sat down on the cool leather sofa at the back of his studio,

"I can't sleep without you and it's not even that bad, it just has acai berry tea, white grape juice, boiling water, coconut milk, strawberries and agave nectar."  He stared at you while you listed out the ingredients,

"I'm going to be really disturbed if I find out you can make that at home..."

"Then I will keep my mouth shut," He chuckled softly at you and locked up his computer, he got up from his chair and held out his hand for you.

"Come on, we're going home." You smiled and took his hand in yours, it wasn't the mission to get him to come home. You would have stayed there all night if he wanted to keep working but you were glad he wanted to go home and get some rest.

"It's still the pink drink of death." He mumbled as you got into the elevator together, you stared at him and took a large sip of the drink.

"Tastes better than the black iced coffee you always order." You playfully started bickering back and forth until he kissed your lips to stop you from arguing back with him.

"Ugh even your lips taste like it," You smirked as you stepped out of the elevator,

"I will convert you to my pink drink ways." You teased as you dragged him out to where you had parked the car.

Tagline: 

@writingdreamsnottragedies @yoongisdumplingcheeks @snowy-meowl @lynnthevirgo @jooniesdarlingdimples @lyoongx @fan-ati--c @mitzwinchester​ @callingmyangel​ @rjsmochii​ @btsiguess-kpop​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @taestannie​

[trashyswitch]

The Strange Twin Brother

Remus was known as the strange, impulsive brother who liked causing havoc wherever he could. Here are some stories of times he traumatized people, worried people and teased people through his charmingly grotesque ways.

I'm dedicating this fanfic to a couple of my friends who LOVE dark humor.

This fanfic has some SUPER dark humor. Animal death and a couple subtle dirty jokes added in. A little bit of bondage is used as well. So read at your own risk, and enjoy the dark humor!

It was always known that Roman was the preppy, clean one of the twins while Remus was the weird, stinky twin. Roman was known for play productions, being the ultimate feminine gay and for bursting out in song randomly, while Remus was known for pulling pranks, being a less hairy Grinch and for reading smut out loud to the entire room.

But Remus was also known for just being strange in general. There have been some disturbing moments where Remus was seen covered in blood while eating a raw rabbit, some annoying moments where Remus would shout out truths about certain origins behind Disney movies, and strangely amusing moments where Remus would bring a skunk home, give it a collar and keep it as a pet despite Logan’s demands to let it loose.

And yet, Roman often chalked all these strange behaviours down to just ‘Remus being Remus’ and wouldn’t question his already screwed up inner thoughts.

Doesn’t mean things were all sunshine and rainbows...Roman would be super worried for Remus if that were the case!

One day, Roman and Patton were looking at scrapbooks of old times with the family. They were looking at Thomas’s public school wins when the front door had closed. Roman turned around, knowing that would be Remus.

“Hi Remus! Any luck?” Roman asked.

Suddenly, Remus jumped out into the living room with his bow and arrow, a blood bag and-

WAS THAT WOLF FUR?!

SHIT! PATTON’S THERE!

Roman yelped and quickly shoved Patton’s face into the scrapbook to keep the innocent boy from looking. “OW! ROMAN! WHAT’S WRONG?!” Patton shouted.

“Uuuuuh...Animal...Hide.” Roman replied.

“ANIMAL?” Patton reacted with a big smile as he tried to lift his head back up. “What kind of animal is it? Let go, Ro! I wanna see the animal!” Patton asked excitedly.

Roman bit his lip and sat himself in front of Patton’s view. “It’s dead, Pat! You don’t wanna see it!” Roman let him know.

Remus just laughed at that. “So seeing a dead wolf carcass is off limits, but seeing TONS of Roman ass is fine?” Remus teased.

Roman rolled his eyes at that. “My ass is covered, unlike that devastated wolf face you’re wearing as a hood.” Roman shot back as he continued to keep Patton’s face hidden from the still-bloody hide. “Whaaat are you gonna do with the hide?” Roman asked.

Remus hummed and tilted his head to the side, causing the animal head hood to follow to the side. “I’m thinking a coat! Or a bathrobe!” Remus declared excitedly.

“Why not both?” Roman asked.

Remus gasped and ran up to Roman, tackle-hugging him to the ground. “YOU’RE A GENIUS!” Remus shouted.

Roman flopped onto his back, a good 3 feet away from Patton. Pat lifted his head up, and quickly screamed and covered his eyes. It really was a wolf carcass! A still-bloody carcass at that! Patton picked up the scrapbook and covered up his own field of view with it.

Roman giggled and looked at the jaw-dropped wolf face that was still slightly bleeding. “Are you gonna remove the teeth and feed them through a thread?” Roman asked, pointing at the set of sharp wolf teeth.

“Probably, yeah.” Remus replied.

Remus smirked. “You should dip the ends of the teeth into some red paint to make it look like bloody teeth that just caught their meal.” Roman suggested.

“Hmmm...Paint? Or bloooood?” Remus asked.

Roman chuckled and shook his head. “Whatever you feel looks better.” Roman replied.

Remus hummed as he thought about how to do it. Suddenly, Remus snapped his bloody fingers! “How about I mix some blood INTO the paint! So it looks realistic AND sticks properly!” Remus declared.

Remus shrugged his shoulders. “You can try it. You have a closet full of craft stuff you can use.” Roman mentioned.

Remus gave Roman one last bloody, slightly furry hug. “Thank you Roman! You’re the best!” Remus declared happily before getting up and running to his room.

Roman chuckled and shook his head. What a nutjob. He looked over at Patton, who was sloooowly uncovering his face with the scrapbook. The poor guy looked traumatized beyond belief.

Logan was hanging out with Remus at a nearby park. Remus was casually sitting on a park bench with a stroller filled with a litter of tuxedo kittens. On the cup holder of the stroller was an extra large iced coffee and an abandoned knife and fork. While the kittens were left sleeping in the stroller with a cover over them, Remus was completely devouring a full rotisserie chicken with his bare, greasy hands.

Logan was sitting beside him, holding a fork and taking little bits of the chicken. Though Logan was growing slightly disgusted by Remus’s feral behaviour, Logan was able to maintain a calm, casual facial expression. Though people were staring at Remus with worry and disgust, Logan just smiled and waved at the people as they walked by them.

It was like seeing a polite englishman sitting beside a New Jerseyan! Complete opposites.

When the two of them were mostly alone, Logan slowly leaned over to Remus. “You’re creating quite the reputation here.” Logan whispered.

“I knothw!!” Remus replied proudly, his face fully stuffed with just chicken. The man didn’t even have anything to wash it down besides his iced coffee! Soon, Remus got up, moved the plate of cooked chicken carcass onto the bench, and picked up his Starbucks coffee with his dominant hand. He happily slurped down some of the ice-filled coffee and smiled with his cheeks all bunched up like a chipmunk.

“Imagine Patton seeing you right now. He would lose it.” Logan mentioned.

Remus let out a muffled giggle at that. “Gooth thin’ he’th noth!” Remus reacted, a slight bit of coffee sliding down his chin.

Logan just laughed at that and ate another piece of the chicken. It didn’t take long for Remus to resume scarfing down his chicken while taking sips of iced coffee in between. It was the perfect combination for a protein & caffeine diet.

Eventually, a guy with a black jacket, sunglasses and a large iced coffee of his own, started walking by. “What the fuck is that creature?! And WHY do I WANT ONE?!” they declared to their vest-wearing friend with a red tie.

Remus choked on his iced coffee and bursted out laughing. Logan smirked in amusement and looked up at the jacket boy. “This is Remus. He’s...definitely a strange one.” Logan introduced. “Also single.” Logan muttered.

The jacketed guy smirked and drank more of the iced coffee. “Come here often?” he asked the both of them.

Logan chuckled at that. “Quite often, yes.” he replied.

“Ith’ my ffffavorithe thpot-th!” Remus declared happily.

“Do you two have names?” Logan asked.

The jacket guy nodded. “I’m Remy. And this, my special loving beanie baby over here, is Emile.” they introduced.

“KITTENS!” Emile shouted excitedly, staring at the stroller.

Remus smiled and looked at Emile. “Yup! It’s a stroller filled with kittens.” Remus said proudly.

Emile picked up one of the tuxedo kittens and hugged it close. “It’s soooo CUUUTE!” Emile cooed.

Logan looked at Remus and raised an eyebrow. Remus looked at Logan back and nodded his head. “Would you like to keep it?” Logan asked.

Emile gasped and beamed at them. “REALLY?!” But Emile quickly composed himself. “I-I mean- Are you sure? I didn’t know they were for sale.” Emile admitted.

“They weren’t. But you look very happy with it!” Remus added. “That one’s a boy.” Remus added.

Emile looked at Remus again, still not sure if he should be taking a cat home. Remus nodded his head with an innocent smile. “I insist!” Remus replied.

Emile looked at Logan. “If you’re wondering, they have all been vaccinated from 8 weeks old till their age which is 5 weeks old.” Logan told Emile. “If you would like, we could cover your vaccination costs up until he reaches 4 months old.” Logan offered.

“Oh my gosh that offer sounds lovely! But I can pay for it myself. But could we meet at the veterinary clinic you take them to, so I can meet their vet and sign the adoption papers?” Emile asked.

Logan nodded. “Of course! I’ll give you the address.” Logan replied.

While Logan was doing that, Remus was looking at all the kittens and growing curious. But he was quickly interrupted by a wave in his direction. Remus and Emile’s locked long enough for Emile to mouth the words ‘thank you’ to him. Remus smiled and nodded back. But then: Remus picked up one of the kittens…

Remus just started staring dead into Emile’s eyes, and shoved the cat’s head into his own mouth. Still staring at Emile, he bit down on the cat, killing it instantly and swallowed it whole. Emile’s excitement for the cat quickly faded away and a big, terrified chill ran down Emile’s spine. It was here that Emile realized that Remus was most likely not in the right mind. Emile quickly patted Logan’s shoulder and pointed to Remus. “He- j-j-just- ateacat…” Emile said, struggling to even talk.

Logan looked over at Remus and immediately noticed the hanging tail that was sticking out of Remus’s mouth. Logan sighed. “How in the world are you still hungry after all that chicken?” Logan asked.

Remus laughed. “I just am!”

Emile hesitantly kept the cat they had just been given, and made a mental note to never let Remus hold their cat. EVER.

A good while later, Patton and Janus were cleaning the house while Remus and Roman were coloring in the kitchen. They both had a cup of water each, and one pack of markers laying in front of them at the table to share. Though only Remus was using all the colors due to the boy’s...strange habit of bleaching them and sucking on them.

Remus was currently drawing a blender filled with green gunk mixed with what he assumed to be blood, and something white. Whether it was milk, bone bits, drugs or...something else; no one but Remus could tell you. All they knew was that some of the green gunk was spilling out the top corners of the blender lid.

Meanwhile, Roman was drawing a completely white picture of a gigantic dog surrounding a bunch of tiny people. But the dog was not like Clifford the Big Red Dog. It was a fluffy white pomeranian! And the pomeranian had a...saxophone? It even had the word *Bork* written beside the mouth.

Wait, was that Gabe the Dog?

Remus giggled at the picture of Gabe the dog, and made a little high-pitched ‘BORK’ sound. Roman bursted out laughing at that and made an evil old hag cackle. Remus wheezed at the cackle while Patton was giggling and shaking his head at the two.

Soon, Logan walked into the room with a smirk. “Why do I hear dogs and evil witches in here?” Logan asked.

Remus and Roman both had to stop their coloring and drawing to lean back and laugh their heads off.

Logan sat down at the table as well and continued to read the astronomy book he had walked out with. But Logan quickly closed it as he cringed at the strong smell of bleach in the kitchen. “Patton, you need to stop using so much bleach.” Logan told him.

Patton turned around. “Come on, Logan, it’s not that bad. I didn’t even clean over there!” Patton reacted.

Logan tilted his head. “Are you sure you didn’t? Because It smells like you cleaned the table with it.” Logan told him.

Patton huffed and put his cloth-covered hand on his own hip. “I’m positive, Logan.”

Logan rolled his eyes and tried to ignore the bleachy smell. But it was not easy. Soon, Logan rubbed his finger on the table and smelled it.

Nope. No bleach.

He rubbed his finger on the windows and discovered that there was no bleach used there either. So, Logan looked around. “Where is that bleach smell coming from?” Logan asked as he followed his nose like a composed dog. Logan followed it till he looked down at the cups and markers. Logan sighed. “You weren’t using bleach on the markers again, I hope…” Logan asked Remus.

“Nope! Not today!” Remus replied proudly.

Logan looked at the cups and lifted them up. He smelled Roman’s cup first -much to Roman’s dismay- and placed it down.

Just water.

But then Logan lifted up Remus’s cup and smelled it:

Logan pulled his head back and coughed violently. Then he widened his eyes when he realized that half the water was already drunk!

Logan slammed the cup onto the table. “Remus.” Logan asked calmly.

Remus looked up at Logan with his teeth showing widely. “Yeeeessss?”

Logan cleared his throat. “Do you remember what we taught you about what bleach does to your digestive system?” Logan asked.

Patton gasped and threw his cloth onto the ground. “REMUS!”

Remus stifled a laugh. “Yes. I don’t remember exactly what happens, but I do remember you mentioning...death?” Remus replied.

Logan sighed and rubbed the top of his nose...only for him to quickly move his fingers away from his face out of fear of getting bleach droplets into his eyes. Then, Logan took the cup and dumped the bleach down the sink. “No more drinking bleach, Remus. It is disgusting and it can easily kill you.” Logan ordered.

Remus slowly lifted up a silver flask. “One new thing to learn about!”

Roman widened his eyes. “PATTON! REMUS HAS A FLASK!” Roman shouted.

Patton sprinted to the rescue and took the flask. “What have we told you about alcohol?! Alcohol for you, is strictly off limits! Remember what happened the last time you drank?” Patton ordered.

“The best experience of my LIFETIME?!” Remus declared excitedly.

Logan dumped the cup of water into the sink. “May the orphan children rest in peace.”

Remus bursted out in evil, proud cackles. Patton brought the flask to the sink and dumped out what he assumed to be alcohol. But much to his surprise: it was clear!

...and reeked of bleach.

Logan pulled out a baby bottle, dumped some milk into it and shoved the baby bottle into Remus’s mouth. “Drink up. Flush the bleach out of your system before your stomach and intestines burn.” Logan ordered.

Remus whined and pouted. Roman giggled at the look of a baby bottle in his grown brother’s mouth, and continued to outline the saxophone. “I’m done!” Roman declared, showing off his picture to Patton and Janus.

Remus pulled the baby bottle out of his mouth and showed off his picture as well. “I’m done as well!”

Both Patton, Janus and Logan enjoyed seeing the pictures they drew, and updated the fridge drawings. Patton would eventually scrapbook those pictures and show them off to Thomas.

One day around Halloween time, Roman was looking around for Remus in his room. But he was nowhere to be found. But things soon became more clear once he found a lined page with a creepy-looking drawing on it. Roman giggled and looked around. “Very funny, Remus! I know what your costume is now!” Roman teased.

Roman received no response. So, Roman turned the page around and continued looking around. “Remus, quit being secretive.” Roman ordered. Like he guessed though, Remus didn’t come out.

So, Roman followed the page’s advice and put the page into his pocket. Roman opened a drawer in the room that held a flashlight. He pulled it out, turned it on and started looking around. So far, there was nothing.

He looked around for another page or another clue to Remus’s location. Little did he realize that all he had to do...was look behind him…

Roman suddenly SCREAMED and threw the flashlight into the air! Something had wrapped around his feet and was now lifting him up! Roman shouted and grabbed at any surfaces he could, to get away. “AAAAAH! REMUS?! LET GO!” Roman shouted.

A static noise started filling Roman’s ears and a static-y image of Slenderman started getting closer and closer to Roman. Roman’s fear grew as the faceless being suddenly grew a mouth and teeth, and GROWLED loudly at him.

Next, another pair of tentacles grabbed Roman’s arms and waist, and lifted him upright. Roman gulped and pulled on the restraints, with no avail. He was utterly and truly, fucked.

Quickly, more tentacles summoned themselves from out of nowhere, and started wiggling and fluttering on his armpits, feet and lower back. Roman jumped, squeezed his eyes shut and tried to move away from the tickly tentacles as a wobbly smile grew onto his face. The tentacles wiggled and teased his armpits the most, taking advantage of just how vulnerable they were in this moment.

Roman took one desperate look at the tickling tentacles and threw his head back as the tentacles at the feet, suddenly found his toes! “Hehehehehehehey! Quihihihihit ihihihit Rehehehemuhuhuhus!” Roman giggled.

The tentacles at his lower back, started drawing up and down his spine. This caused Roman to arch and wiggle his back more. But things got even worse the moment four tentacles started tickling both his armpits! Roman squealed loudly and squeezed his fists as laughter and snorts started leaving his mouth! He couldn’t even try to cover up his mouth in any way because his hands were tied! Literally!

Then, everything quickly hit the fan the moment Remus’s tongue reached his ear. Roman guffawed and snorted at that! Roman squealed with laughter! One one hand, all Roman could think was just how disgusting and slimy it felt to have a tongue fluttering and ‘licking’ his ear! But HOLY HECK did it work! It was so much more ticklish than his toes and armpits combined!

Roman snorted again. “LEHEHEHET MEHEHEHEHE GOOOHOHOHO!” Roman begged.

The single tentacle that tickled Roman’s back, started writing letters on his lower back!

[Tickle tickle tickle]

Roman whined and shook his head. How DARE!

[Coochy coochy coo coochy coochy coo]

Roman widened his eyes and tried to tug on his restraints one more time. Of course, he was unsuccessful. “STAHAHAHAHAHAP!” Roman begged loudly.

[No]

Roman shook his head. “COHOHOME OHOHOHOHON MAHAHAHAN!” Roman pleaded.

[Fine]

Roman let out a breath of relief as the tickling tentacles lessened dramatically. But unfortunately, the black tentacle that was writing on Roman’s back, was not gone.

[Wet willy time]

Roman widened his eyes. “W-WAIT-” Roman was interrupted by the evil tongue tickling his ear once again! Roman shrieked loudly and threw his head back with laughs, snorts and the occasional cackles! All the while, the messenger on his lower back was still writing messages to him!

[Surprise!]

Roman shook his head. “IHIHI THOHOHOUGHT YOHOHOU WEHEHEHERE DOHOHONE!” Roman yelled.

[Im not done.] It wrote. [More tickles for Roman]

Roman squeezed his eyes shut and just gave up on trying to get out. There was just no trying to save himself from the clutches of Remus the slenderman tickle monster!

[Tickle tickle Roman]

[Tickle tickle brother]

[sit back. Accept your fate]

Here’s the fanart! 

Remus:

Roman:

(Drawn by a friend of mine)

[sunlightdances]

Light a Flame (College!Steve Rogers x Reader)

Author: Katie @sunlightdances​ Title: Light a Flame Pairing: College AU Steve Rogers x Fem Reader Rating: PG-13 (for language) Summary: Big, sweet, blonde idiot Steve and slightly idiot reader. Our faves! You’re paired with Steve Rogers for a project. Captain of the debate team, track and field star, and actual intelligent man… which just made you more furious. It would be one thing if he was an idiot. But he wasn’t, and you needed an A in this class to get through the rest of the year unscathed. Disclaimer: I don’t own Steve Rogers, or Marvel. Please don’t repost my work on any other sites without my permission! Author’s Note: Special thanks to @lipstickandvibranium​ for reading this over for me! If you like this, please reblog and give me some feedback! Also check out my masterlist for other pairings and stories.

As a general rule, you tried not to dislike people, or hold grudges.

It didn’t do any good, even if at the time your reason for being upset was completely justified. You were considering changing your stance after meeting Steve Rogers, however.

He seemed perfect - perfect hair, perfect eyes, perfect teeth -- but you got a glimpse at the real person under the mask when you were paired together for a politics project.

He was-- you couldn’t even put it into words.

Smug.

Self righteous.

A pain in the ass.

(Also the most attractive person you’ve seen up close, with his sharp jaw and deep blue eyes, and the way he laughed--)

Okay, maybe you could put it into words. Still, it did nothing to help your situation, because you were stuck with him for the semester. Him and his know-it-all attitude.

Steve Rogers. Captain of the debate team, track and field star, and actual intelligent man… which just made you more furious. It would be one thing if he was an idiot. But he wasn’t, and you needed an A in this class to get through the rest of the year unscathed.

You stew silently as you sit in the library and wait for him. He’s almost an hour late, and you’re thinking of a million witty retorts for when he finally shows up, but it all flies right out of your head when he comes jogging into the library, eyes a little wild and hair windswept.

He spots you, and his shoulders slump. He gets to you in a few long strides.

“I’m sorry--”

“I took off work to be here today--” you start, angrily.

“I know, and I didn’t mean to be late, but I got caught up--”

“It’s common decency to be on time! Especially when one person has already rearranged their schedule--”

He almost collapses into the chair across from you, wiping his hand down his face. “I said I was sorry. It won’t happen again.”

He sounds genuinely upset, and for the first time, you’re not sure how to respond. “... Are you okay?”

He waves a hand dismissively. “Fine. Let’s just get to work.”

The two of you debate for what feels like hours. Steve wants to present a moral argument on an issue, you want to present a logical argument on the same issue… honestly, you wonder if Professor Coulson realized what he was doing when he paired you together.

After an especially long yawn from Steve, you feel your patience wearing thin. “You know what? I’m calling it. Don’t want to bore you to death.”

He looks taken aback. “Sorry?”

“You haven’t done anything but act bored and like you’d rather be anywhere else since you got here. So I’ll save you the trouble and finish the rest of the presentation myself.”

Angrily, he stands, mirroring you. “We haven’t decided on anything yet.”

“I don’t need your input.”

“Look, I don’t know what I did to piss you off so much--”

“Besides your general…” You gesture vaguely in his direction, immediately regretting it when his eyes go cold and a bitter smile shows up on his face.

He nods. “Okay. Well, I won’t keep you.”

You had visions of leaving him there, sitting there alone like he had done to you, but instead the door clicks with a kind of finality that you weren’t expecting to feel so guilty about as he leaves, and you’re alone again.

.

.

.

It starts raining while Steve is walking back to his apartment, but he barely notices. He’s surprised there isn’t steam coming off of him with how hot with anger and embarrassment he feels after his encounter with you.

He doesn’t understand why he lets you get under his skin this way.

He wishes you would just see him for once.

You and he have had classes together for years, but have never really been in the same social circles, or been paired up on anything together.

It doesn’t mean he’s never noticed you before.

He remembers the first time he ever saw you vividly. And he kinda hates himself for it, because while he remembers every detail of that moment, he doubts you do.

He sticks his foot in his mouth every time you come within five feet of him, and now you hate him.

He gets to his apartment and is literally dripping wet, Bucky pulling open the door before he can put his key into the lock, eyes widening.

“What the hell happened?”

“She hates me.” He hangs his sodden jacket on a hook by the door, tossing his keys into the bowl on the small table. “I was late, and I tried to apologize—”

“Jesus. How you’ve managed to mess this up so spectacularly, I have no idea.”

“Fuck off,” Steve groans, heading to his bedroom to change out of his wet clothes, seething the entire time.

“All I’m saying,” Bucky’s voice drifts through the closed door, “Is that you finally have the chance to get to know the girl, and now you can’t even get that right?”

Steve grits his teeth. “Remind me why we’re friends again?”

He opens the door to see Bucky’s grinning face.

“Because no one else would put up with your dramatic ass for their entire lives.” He follows Steve to the kitchen, sitting at one of the bar stools while Steve pulls out a bowl and some cereal.

“She wouldn’t even let me explain why I was late, and I apologized straight away… she’s impossible. We’re both going to fail this project because she hates me so much she’d rather take a failing grade than work with me.”

Bucky looks skeptical. “Why were you late?”

Steve sighs, knowing he’s going to get shit for this no matter how hard he defends himself. “I was talking to Sharon—”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Bucky exclaims, face twisted in exasperation. “For what? For the final nail in your coffin? Jesus, dude—”

“She asked me to call her! I thought something was wrong.”

Bucky puts a hand on his shoulder, “I say this with the most love a best friend can say this with: you really have to get a grip. You and Sharon broke up months ago.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“It is when you have feelings for someone else!”

Steve groans, letting his forehead hit the counter top. “You know, she wasn’t the nicest person in the world either, but I don’t think she’s getting chewed out by her best friend right now.”

Bucky snorts. “Yeah, well. She doesn’t have me for a best friend, does she?”

.

.

.

MJ and Peter stare at you in disbelief.

“You said what?” Peter asks, eyes wide.

“He was late! By a lot!”

MJ shakes her head. “You told him his general existence is why you don’t like him? Girl.”

You feel your cheeks reddening. “I know, I know. I just— I got so angry, and it just came out.” You bury your face in your hands. “I’m the worst.”

“You’re not the worst,” Peter assures you. “You just suck at having a crush on someone.”

You glare at him.

You have no idea how you let it get this far. You tend to be standoffish when you like someone, because you’re afraid of the inevitable, that they won’t like you back and that you’ll be stuck pining after someone.

But the truth? The truth is that Steve Rogers has a way of pushing your buttons like no one else, while simultaneously being the nicest, most attractive person you know.

“I should apologize.” You mutter, so quiet Peter and MJ actually lean closer to hear you.

“What?”

“I said I should apologize.” You groan. “I’m never going to live this down. He’s just--”

“Super hot?” MJ finishes, eyebrow raised.

You groan again, and try to tune out the laughter of your friends.

Hours later, in the quiet dark of your apartment, glasses perched on your nose, you open a blank email.

To: sgrogers@nyu.edu From: reader@nyu.edu Subject: Sorry

Steve,

Sorry for bailing on our project planning session today. I’m also sorry I was a huge jerk. I had a bad day and took it out on you.

Can we meet another day this week to finish up?

Sorry again.

You hit send before you can second guess it, and hope that you didn’t screw up as monumentally as you think you might have.

An hour later, a ping from your computer wakes you up, and with bleary eyes, you read:

To: reader@nyu.edu From: sgrogers@nyu.edu Subject: Re: Sorry

I’m sorry too, for being late. And for arguing so much. I’m free tomorrow after 1pm if that works for you.

You’re surprised, but relief takes over you as you finally fall asleep.

.

.

.

Steve is fidgety, and he doesn’t do fidgety. He’s usually calm and collected, but he knows he was a jerk the night before, and it doesn’t sit well with him.

He’s also a little worried that you’re going to yell at him again, which-- fair, but not really what he wants to deal with.

He sees you come into the Starbucks and waves from the table he’s claimed towards the back, hoping that being in a more public place will deter you from any violence. Not that he thinks you’d resort to that. But who knows, at this point.

“Hey.” You say quietly when you get closer, dumping your bag on the empty chair across from him.

“Hi.”

An uncomfortable silence settles over the two of you.

“Look, we already emailed about it, so can we skip the awkward apologies and just get to work?”

Relief floods him. “Yeah. Absolutely.”

“Great. I’m going to order a coffee.”

You’re back in a few minutes, and start digging out notebooks and color-coded spreadsheets, and he has a minute to be impressed before you meet his eyes, arching your eyebrows.

“So this is what I’ve done over the last three weeks. I’ve got all the info here, but we need to make it look presentable. Lucky for us, you’re the art major.”

“Art history--”

You wave a hand, “You can draw. I’ve seen you doodle.”

He snorts. “Okay.”

You look at him again, “If you don’t want to, we can make it digital, but I just thought it would be better--”

Steve runs a hand over his jaw, “No, you’re right. It would look more authentic. It’s the least I can do, too. You know. To make up for yesterday.”

Steve feels you staring at him, and he fidgets again. He has no idea what you’re looking for, but he can imagine what you see. The circles under his eyes, the stubble from the few days he hasn’t shaved… he’s a mess. And you got caught up in it just by the bad luck of being his partner on this project.

“Why were you late yesterday, anyway?” You ask finally.

Steve busies himself tearing the label off the side of his coffee cup. “My ex called.”

He watches you go rigid, and for a horrifying moment, he thinks maybe he got this all wrong. Maybe you do see him the way he sees you, and now he’s just admitted that he was late to meet you because of his ex, and--

“We were together for a long time and she has an aunt that’s sick, when she called I--”

“I get it. You don’t have to explain yourself.” The spark he’s used to seeing in your eyes - especially when bantering with him -- is completely gone. He almost wishes Bucky was here to kick his ass.

You go back to organizing your notes, and the moment is gone.

He can’t help but think he’s managed to fuck this up again.

.

.

You don’t know why you’re acting like this.

So Steve still keeps in touch with his ex, so what. Why do you care so much? He said it himself, she’s got a sick aunt, and maybe the breakup was amicable, because Steve Rogers is totally that type of guy.

It’s impossible not to like him, as you’re slowly discovering.

You’re annoyed that when he admitted why he was late, it felt like getting doused in cold water. But then-- the look on his face when he saw you deflate a little… what was that about? His eyes were pleading… for what? Understanding?

Your head hurts.

You haven’t even been here for a half hour and Steve is already so far under your skin you’ll be amazed if you get out of this project unscathed.

Steve draws up some quick drafts of the posters for your project and you give him some input here and there, but the conversation is minimal and quiet.

Every now and then you can feel his eyes on you. Those big, sad, blue eyes… you’re just so confused by him. He normally seems so put together, so sure of himself, but now it’s the opposite. You can’t believe that you have something to do with it.

Because you’re no one special, or at least that’s what you think.

You have no idea that Steve would disagree.

.

.

.

A few days go by without any word from Steve.

A quick email is sent to check in on his progress, but that’s it. You don’t know why you feel so gloomy about it.

“What are you thinking about? Steve?” MJ asks, tossing a pillow at you from the bed across from yours.

“What?”

“You know. Tall, blonde, handsome?”

You roll your eyes. “I’m not thinking about him.”

She chuckles. “Wow. You suck at lying.”

“He’s probably busy.”

MJ narrows her eyes. “And that doesn’t bother you at all?”

You set your chemistry textbook down with a thump. “Is there a point to this?”

“You like him. You’re both idiots. You should just tell him already and put him out of his misery. Maybe then you can actually get a good grade on this project instead of trying to tiptoe around it.”

“You know what? I’m hungry. I’m going to go to the dining hall.”

You shove on some boots and a jacket and leave before MJ can say anything else that you’re not ready to hear.

On your way, your head is spinning. There’s just no way that Steve likes you. And there’s no way you like him either! You-- you barely tolerate him. You’re from two different worlds… there’s no way it would work.

Besides, it sounds like things are weird with his ex. You have no desire to get in the middle of anything like that.

So lost in your thoughts, you round a corner, and run straight into an absolute brick wall of a man. You almost fall, but your yelp startles him into action and he grabs your arm, yanking you upright.

“Shit,” he curses, “Are you okay?”

“Fine!” You squeak.

“Oh,” He says, “I know you. You’re Steve’s project partner.”

You blink up at him before you recognize him as Steve’s friend, Bucky. “Hi. Sorry about that.”

“No problem.” He frowns. “Aren’t you supposed to be working on that thing with Steve right now?”

It’s your turn to frown. “What are you talking about? I haven’t heard from him all week.” You think the hurt at Steve being basically off the grid after you thought you’d had a breakthrough shows on your face.

Bucky sighs, eyes closing, tipping his head back like the weight of the universe is suddenly on his shoulders. “What an idiot.”

“Excuse me?!”

His eyes fly open. “Not you! Him. Definitely him. Listen, I gotta go.” He takes two steps before turning back to you, his voice suddenly much more serious. “Do me a favor and don’t give up on him, okay?”

“Uh-- okay,” you say, still not really sure what he’s talking about.

He leaves and you go grab some dinner, wondering when the hell your life got this confusing.

.

.

.

The door bursts open and Bucky comes through it, eyes flashing. “You know, I could just strangle you right now.”

Steve glances up from his seat on the couch, thumbing through a paperback he’s already read four times. “What?”

“Tell me why I just, quite literally, ran into your project partner at the dining hall when she’s supposed to be at the library working with you, like you’ve been telling me for the last three days.”

Steve sighs. Bucky continues.

“Also tell me why she looked like someone kicked her puppy when she said she hasn’t heard from you at all this week.”

Steve clenches his jaw. No matter what he does, he keeps fucking this up. He’s not trying to hurt you, or avoid you, it’s the last thing he wants. But he has to get his shit straight before he even thinks about telling you how he feels.

“You’ve been telling me for days that you were going to study with her and finally tell her that you’re crazy about her.” Bucky sits down next to Steve, actually looking a bit angry, and not just amused like he has all the other times before. “Why do you keep doing this to yourself?”

“I had to-- I saw Sharon today.”

Bucky’s eyes darken, “You absolute--”

“I told her I can’t keep seeing her.” When it appears like Bucky is going to hold off on his tirade for now, Steve plows on, “I told her I wanted to be her friend, that I’d be there for her if her Aunt Peggy gets worse, but that’s it. I can’t meet up for coffee, I can’t text her every day like she wants. I ended it, for good this time.”

Bucky still looks suspicious. “She was fine with that?”

“I think she realized that we were still acting like we’re a couple without actually being together.”

“What are you going to do now?”

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose. “I think I have some serious groveling to do. I just didn’t want to say anything without talking to Sharon first. It wouldn’t have been fair to either of them.”

Bucky lays a heavy hand on Steve’s shoulder. “You’re a better person than you give yourself credit for, you know.” A beat. “Sorry for saying I wanted to strangle you.”

Steve laughs.

.

.

.

A knock on the door brings you out of your thoughts, but you make no move to get up. MJ is on her feet anyway, so she pulls open the door and you hear a few murmured words before she turns to you.

“Your friend is here.”

She moves and you see him, looking sheepish as he hovers in the doorway.

“I just remembered I have to meet Peter. To talk about the thing. Be back later.” MJ says, the traitor, and leaves you alone with Steve, who looks a bit lost as he shuts the door behind him and steps inside.

“I can go if you’re busy…” He says quietly.

You shrug. “Didn’t expect to see you tonight.”

Steve’s shoulders slump. “I know. I’m sorry.” He takes a few tentative steps towards you. “Can I sit?”

You shrug again. It figures, now that he’s actually here, you’re unable to string two words together.

“Can I tell you something?” He doesn’t wait for a response. “I was really happy when I saw we were paired together for this project. I-- I thought you hated me, and I like you, so you can imagine how much that sucked.” He hears your quick intake of breath and smiles, but keeps going. “I thought this was my chance. To get to know you, for you to get to know me. But I keep fucking it up.”

You can’t really believe what you’re hearing. Despite yourself, your heart rate picks up.

“I know I-- people think whatever they think about me. That I’m some-- some hero, some perfect person, and I…” he shakes his head, “I’ve never known how to live up to that. But when I actually wanted to be that person around you, I just turned into the biggest asshole on the face of the Earth.”

“Steve, wait.” You interrupt him, unable to handle the look on his face for another second. “We’re both idiots, okay?” Out of instinct, you reach for his hand, your decision solidified when he grips yours right back, no hesitation. “I wasn’t very nice to you either. I didn’t even try to ask if you had something else going on.”

“I’m a control freak and too competitive.” He arches his eyebrows, almost like he’s daring you to contradict him.

“I’m too sarcastic and overreact.”

“I can’t stand the thought of people hating me, so I try to make everyone happy even when it’s impossible.” He says quietly, looking down at your joined hands.

“Your ex?”

“That’s done.” Steve says, and you feel the conviction in his words, giving you the courage you need to meet his eyes again. “It doesn’t make up for the fact that I let my outside stuff influence me enough to be a jerk to you. But it won’t happen again.”

Suddenly, with more confidence than you feel, you stand, tugging Steve to his feet. “Come on, I have an idea.”

.

.

.

Steve follows you in a daze, his brain rapidly trying to process everything that just happened. He apologized, like he should have done weeks ago. He cleared the air with Sharon, like he should have done weeks ago.

He told you he likes you.

You didn’t really respond, but he almost doesn’t care. Because the negative tension that used to be in the air between you is gone, and you’re still holding his hand, tugging him with you to God knows where.

A stop at the coffee cart, and then you’re pulling him into the library. He looks down at you, and you smirk.

“Time to pay up, Rogers. We’re getting an A on this project if it kills us.”

Your voice is decidedly flirty, and Steve sort of feels like he’s been hit over the head with something heavy. That smile aimed at him? Designed to kill.

“Yeah, yeah. Okay.” He agrees, chuckling.

You don’t leave the library until very late.

He holds your hand again on the walk back.

Four days later, you do your presentation with Steve, and even your professor looks amazed at how it goes off without a hitch. The original artwork Steve did to help illustrate your points had people coming up to get a closer look afterwards, and if Steve preens a little at the proud look in your eyes as you glance at him, well who could blame him?

“Let’s get coffee,” he says afterwards, pulling you off to one side. He can’t get over the soft way you’re looking at him, and would do just about anything to spend more time with you today.

He’s still half worried that now that the project is done, you’ll go back to acting like he doesn’t exist.

The coffee shop just off campus is quiet when you get there, and even though you roll your eyes, you agree to let Steve buy your coffee. As he waits for your order, he watches you out of the corner of your eye as you pick a table by the window, the sun hitting your profile, and for a minute he’s totally dumbstruck.

Sitting down across from you, your fingers graze his when he hands you your cup, and he’s about to ask you out, for real this time, when you beat him to the punch.

“I never really responded to what you told me the other night.”

Steve swallows hard, trying to act nonchalant. “Oh?”

You roll your eyes. “I-- god. Stop looking at me like that!”

He can’t help it, he grins. “Like what?”

“Smug. Like you already know what I’m going to say. Do you look at all the girls like that?”

His smile softens. “No. Not all of them.”

Something warm unfurls in Steve’s chest as he watches you take in his words, your entire demeanor turning shy.

“Anyway, like I was saying--” You say, “You told me you liked me.”

Steve feels like his palms are going to start sweating. “I did.”

“I never said anything.”

“No,” he agrees, “You didn’t.”

You shift a little bit, and it sort of makes him hopeful that you seem nervous, even though the last thing he wants is for you to be uncomfortable. “I guess I-- I sort of like you too.”

Steve laughs, “Oh, you guess you sort of like me - my, oh my. How will I ever recover from this romantic confession?” He presses his hand to his heart.

“I take it back - I hate you.” You say, crossing your arms over your chest.

“No, you don’t.” He says, smug. “I think my plan worked.” He leans a little farther over the tabletop so he can grab your hand again.

You snort. “Oh yeah, your plan absolutely worked and definitely didn’t backfire at all.”

“You’re here, aren’t you?” Steve says, absolutely in awe of the feeling coursing through him right now. Is this what being smitten is like? It’s probably an old-fashioned thought, but he doesn’t care.

He tugs a little bit on your hand so you’re leaning forward too, and then he’s pressing the gentlest of kisses to your lips, holding your hand while his other hand reaches up to cradle your jaw. He thinks if he opened his eyes he would see literal sparks, and sighs when you melt into him.

“There.” He says, voice husky, as you pull apart. “Does that convince you?”

“You’re still a pain in the ass, Steve Rogers.”

“Back at you, honey.”

End

[spidercakes]

Starker AU in which all Peter’s friends are really confused about what his ‘new job’ is.

*

“I’ve got it,” Peter says, sparing his friends trying to figure out what the pizza bill will be split four ways. They all frown at him but he goes down to the first floor of the library anyway and pays for the pizza before he brings it back up. Mostly he’s just happy that they can study with food because nothing is worse than trying to balance equations on an empty stomach. Ned, Liz, and MJ frown when they see the boxes because they didn’t watch him order it online so they had no idea he just got them all their own pizzas. If nothing else they’ll have left overs for tomorrow.

“Dude, how the hell can you afford that?” Ned asks.

He can’t, technically, but Tony gave him access to all his accounts and Peter figures if he’s got access he might as well treat his friends. But he can’t tell them that because their relationship isn’t public and there’s like a million reasons why Tony might want to keep it that way and Peter likes the anonymity also so he hasn’t said anything. “Um. I got a new job,” he lies. Actually he quit his job because if he never has to work at McDonald’s again it’ll be too soon. And he’d been so frustrated with shitty customers and his asshole boss that he accidentally told him to mcfuck himself before just walking out. He’d felt instantly bad but also he’s never going back there. Like ever. And thanks to Tony he doesn’t need to.

“Where and are they hiring?” Liz asks, digging through the pizzas to find hers and snatching it. Ned and MJ take that as an invitation to do the same, leaving Peter’s in front of him.

“Oh um. Probably no where you want to work,” he says and changes the subject to their upcoming sociology quiz and they all groan. It’d been the only elective that they could all take together and they all hated it with a passion.

*

Ned watches as Peter all but flees the table at top speeds and yeah, none of them want to study but its still weird behavior. MJ squints as they all look at him, half turned towards the stacks blushing of all things as he talks to whoever on the phone. “Does he even answer the phone for May?” Liz asks and Ned shakes his head.

“Nope. He declines her calls and tells her to text.”

“So who the hell is that?” MJ asks and Ned’s thoughts exactly.

Liz slams her hand on the table, earning a bunch of looks from the people around them and wincing. “Sorry,” she says to no one in particular. “Guys!” she hisses at him and MJ. “He got a new job, suddenly seems flush with cash, is on the phone despite the fact that no one our age talks on the phone, works somewhere I wouldn’t want to. He’s totally a sugar baby!”

Ned and MJ look over at him giggling softly into the phone, cheeks still red and oh my god. “Oh my god he’s a fucking sugar baby. Do you think he sucks old man balls?” he asks, wrinkling his nose.

“Well, he’s on the phone and this dude must have a ton of cash because he’s paid for us to go out for like, the last two months. Boomer for sure,” MJ says.

Liz wrinkles her nose too. “You know what, better him than us,” she says, pulling a slice of pizza from the box and taking a bite. They nod in agreement as Peter comes back over looking weirdly happy considering being a sugar baby has to suck.

“I’ve got to go soon,” he says. “So we should probably make this quick.”

Ned gives him a gentle pat on the shoulder because he appreciates Peter taking one for the team. Peter looks confused, but they’ll let him tell them about being a sugar baby on his own terms.

*

Peter walks in the door and he’s so tired but Tony just got back from Malibu and he’s missed him so he agreed to go over anyway. Tony’s on the couch looking as tired as Peter feels but he reaches out for him anyway, pulling Peter into his lap so he’s straddling him. “Missed you,” Peter murmurs, wrapping his arms around Tony’s neck.

“Missed you too, baby,” he murmurs, hands settling on Peter’s hips as he leans in to kiss Peter. They stay there like that for a few minutes, kissing softly as Peter curls his fingers through Tony’s hair.

Tony pulls back after a moment, grinning. “By the way you’re such a college student. Do you actually spend money on things that aren’t pizza and clubbing?” he asks, dark eyes glittering in amusement.

“Ok first of all we go to pubs because we have taste, okay? And pizza is good. And filling. And its like a nice treat after a long day of studying or classes, leave me be. What’d you expect me to get, a sports car?” he asks and he’s joking but Tony shrugs.

“Kind of, yeah. But I guess with access to more money than you can fathom you end up addicted to Starbucks,” he says like Starbucks isn’t really expensive and a total treat to him normally.

“I like Starbucks,” he says in his own defense. “And the planet is dying, I’m not going to get a car when public transportation is fine,” he says.

“There are environmentally friendly options,” Tony points out and Peter wrinkles his nose.

“I swear to god if you mention Tesla like Elon Musk isn’t like that I will have to go through his Twitter feed to pull receipts on why he’s a shit bag who shouldn’t be supported,” he says and Tony laughs.

“Can’t say I care for Musk. Frankly I’m a little annoyed with people comparing us because first of all my name isn’t you know... fucking heinous. And also if I’m going to be compared to celebrities I always thought I was a bit more like Paris Hilton,” he says and Peter snorts.

“Totally misread but actually pretty nice and surprisingly passionate about the things you care about? Yeah, you guys are comparable,” he says.

“I meant that we’re hot but you know, that too,” Tony says. “But since you insist on mostly gorging yourself on pizza I took the liberty of making sure you’re taken care of and got you an apartment. Something closer to here and school so its less of a travel,” he murmurs.

Peter is grateful, really, but MJ, Liz, and Ned are about to be fucked for rent. “Um,” he says, unsure how to bring that up but Tony’s got a knowing look on his face.

“Want to go see it?” he asks and Peter doesn’t know how to back out so he just nods.

*

Peter almost shits when he sees the place because its fucking gorgeous but that’s more surprising is Liz, Ned, and MJ fighting over who gets the lemon chicken in the fridge. They all turn to face him and their eyes go wide, presumably, because Tony is standing there with his arm around Peter’s waist. “Um,” he says intelligently.

MJ drops the lemon chicken and Liz immediately snatches it off the ground, still safe in its container. Ned just looks stunned. “Your sugar daddy is Tony Stark?” he asks, voice going up.

He swears he can feel Tony’s anger even if he knows Tony isn’t showing it. “I didn’t tell them you were my sugar daddy! I don’t even know where they got that impression!” he says honestly.

Liz squints, “dude, you went from dirt poor and crying about money every other day to funding all our outings, buying us food all the time, and after like two months of avoiding giving us answers you told us you got a new job. It seemed pretty obvious that you’re a sugar baby. No judgement,” she throws out there.

“A job?” Tony asks and Peter lets out a squeak.

“You make money at jobs, I panicked!” he says in his defense.

“Why not just tell them the truth?” Tony asks, raising an eyebrow.

“I didn’t think you wanted to deal with the press and stuff and I get that so I kept it to myself,” Peter says and Tony frowns.

“So... you haven’t said anything because you thought I didn’t want people to know?” he asks.

Peter shrugs, “more or less and I get it, its okay. People will probably say some really nasty things and I can see why you wouldn’t want to-” his words are cut off as Tony draws him in for a kiss. He goes, making a surprised noise but happily leaning into it.

“Baby I thought you didn’t want people to know and I couldn’t figure out why. God, we’re dumb,” he mumbles.

“Does this mean we get to live here now? Because now that I have seen how rich people live I don’t want to go back,” Ned says, earning a snort from Liz. She’s the only one of them that grew up not dirt poor so this probably isn’t that big of a step up for her.

“Obviously. If Peter wasn’t paying his portion of the rent something tells me you wouldn’t be able to afford the place you had,” Tony says and Peter relaxes.

“Oh thank god! I didn’t want to be rude and say no to this place but I wasn’t about to screw my friends over either,” he says, realizing too late that there must have been a reason for them being here. Then he frowns, “wait, how did you guys get here?” he asks.

“Subway,” Ned tells him and MJ rolls her eyes.

“There was a note on the table from a T.S with this address and we assumed it was for you and we all wanted to see what being a sugar baby would get us so we decided to snoop and hope we didn’t find you fucking some old as tits boomer,” MJ says bluntly.

“Also if this was a job its a damn lie that I wouldn’t want a job where I get to sleep with Tony Stark,” Liz tells him.

“I’m so glad I don’t need to feel guilty for the free stuff,” Ned says, hand pressed to his chest. “I was wondering if maybe you decided fuck it and were maxing out a line of credit or something.”

Peter nods. “Hm. Makes sense. So now I’m sexiling all of you because I don’t want to have to worry about being quiet. Get you lemon chicken and go,” Peter tells them.

Ned wrinkles his nose. “Gross, dude.”

MJ snorts, “like you wouldn’t sleep with Tony Stark. Not like that’s a hardship. We might as well pack our shit at home,” she points out.

“Uh huh, whatever you guys need to do. Now out so I can get fucked through my mattress,” he says, grabbing Tony’s hand and dragging him off through the kitchen before he pauses. “Wait, where’s my room?” he asks and Tony laughs.

“Follow me, baby. Glad you liked it,” he murmurs as he pulls Peter along.

[emgkheadcannons]

Headcannons about Kells having a sweetooth and Em using that to his advantage a little?

Yes, Em uses Kelly’s sweet tooth to his advantage, but he is also a bit of a health nut and wants the kid to eat better, so it can be tricky. Ever since Em’s overdose in 2007, he has been very health conscious, and Kelly has bad eating habits. He’s getting better but unless he is looking after Cassie or on a movie set where the food is catered, he eats like a child. Like drive thrus and junk food. Also Em wants to take care of Kelly so it’s more of making sure the kid remembers to eat.

Fruit:

So have you noticed how much fruit Kelly snacks on, he has a music video with a fridge overflowing with it. The man loves fruit. He would eat it all the time. He keeps a bowl of fruit on his tour bus.

Em has noticed Kelly’s love of fruit and he uses that. He always keeps some of Kelly’s favorites around, like apples, Halo oranges or cuties, but when Em knows Kelly is staying over he stocks up on mangoes, bananas, papaya, strawberries, and whatever else he thinks Kelly would enjoy. He also keeps dehydrated fruit in his office.

Kelly also drinks a lot of juice. He has two gallons of orange juice in his fridge. One is for mixed drinks, the other is his for drinking. His friends know only Cassie gets to drink from his personal gallon of OJ. It has evolved to the kitchen fridge having normal drinking juices, and a mini fridge, next to the energy drink fridge, for mixers. Kelly also drinks a lot of lemonade or lemonade variations during the summer. Em has gotten him hooked on fresh squeezed juice.

Breakfast:

Kelly has a thing for breakfast food. From sugary cereal, to eggs, to pancakes and waffles, he loves breakfast. In his opinion anything can be breakfast.

They no longer have breakfast in bed. After a few spilled trays, and broken dishes, from a stray arm or leg hitting it, or the bed rocking too hard. The mess is annoying to clean up, especially when they want to enjoy the after glow of sex, and they can’t leave it for someone else to clean up because both of their the cleaning services come once a week.

Kelly loves sugary cereal for breakfast but Em refuses to buy Cookie Crisp, or lucky charms, but honey nut cereal, raisin bran or Life cereal is okay. Em also has granola, and oatmeal, and yeah Kelly gives him a lot of shit for eating like an old man. When Em comes to visit Kelly does get him a box of boring old man cereal.

Em will make Kelly yogurt parfaits, with plain yogurt, and lots of fruit. If it’s cold outside maybe oatmeal, with cinnamon, and bananas, or berries. Sometimes, they will down fruit and protein shakes, when they have a busy day. CHocolate, strawberry and banana for Kelly of course.

Kelly loves pancakes, and waffles. They are so customizable. He makes them with his daughter and with his friends. Em finds out about this love of pancakes and waffles, and when he wants to spoil his boy, he will wake up early and will make him a stack. He also makes Kelly pancakes or waffles when he has screwed up. One of the most memorable times was when he gave Kelly a nasty beard burn.

Drinks:

Em uses Kelly’s sweet tooth the most with drinks.

As much as Eminem loves diet coke, Coleson loves coffee, the man is opening a coffee shop for heaven’s sake. When Kelly is in a pissy mood, Em will pick up a large caramel thingy from Starbucks. (He is now a gold member thanks to Kelly). Eminem will also scope out fussy (or boutique as Kelly says) coffee shops for dates. The pastries are also great to feed Kelly in a pinch. Em also has an espresso machine and all the accessories so Kelly can have his fussy drinks at home. He doesn’t mind the new coffee paraphernalia because it means more time with Kelly.

Even though Eminem doesn’t drink anymore Kelly does, but he has cut back a lot since they started dating. When Kelly has too much to drink, Em will start swapping out his alcoholic for super fruity, and sugary drinks like pina coladas, cosmopolitans, and strawberry daiquiris. Kelly can’t taste the difference without alcohol, and doesn’t mind that EM does it. Eminem also brings him waters between drinks to keep the younger rapper hydrated.

Snacks:

EM keeps a lot of healthy, sweet snacks around for Kelly. Kelly has a bad habit of forgetting to eat when he gets caught up in something. Em was the same way so now, being a workaholic so he has expanded his snack stashes, and added snacks that Kelly prefers.

First snack bars are so hand and easy to carry around. Em keeps a few kind bars everywhere, his office, his car, all over his home, including his bedside table, and sometimes he will keep a mini bar or two in his pocket.

Eminem now keeps a small bowl of candy on his desk. It has trail-mix in it, so peanuts, chocolate, raisins, and whatnot. Kelly will absentmindedly grab a handful and eat it. Em also enjoys it.

Peanut butter is a god send. It has saved EM many times when Kelly has gotten hangry. A quick peanut butter sandwich, or apple slices with a side of peanut butter are fast and easy.

Pastries and Baked Goods:

Kelly loves pastries and baked goods, especially when he is having coffee. Danishes, bear claws, turnovers, cake, and pie, oh my.

Kelly can eat an entire apple pie by himself. He loves Thanksgiving because of the amount of pie he has access to. Em was horrified, but also impressed because where does it go.

Candy:

Kelly likes hard candy and chocolate, but he really didn’t have a favorite until he saw Em’s reaction to him eating a lollipop. He just stopped what he was doing, eyes focused on Kelly’s lips, watching him suck on sucker. Kelly decided to give home a bit of a show, taking the sucker out of his mouth and licking it lewdly, before wrapping his tongue around it, and sucking it back in between his lips. This went on for a few minutes, with a few moans thrown in. When Kelly finally finished his lollipop, Em was flushed, and you could see his dick straining in his pants.

“Looks like I finished my sucker, with I had something else to fill my mouth.”

[wuxian-vs-wangji]

As someone who works in tv do you have any tips or tricks you could share? Just about like being on tv and such?

Well, I can give some tips, but I work on crew, I actively avoid being turned into Cast (yet somehow I’ve been on air more than the crew members who WANT to be on tv). Here’s what I can give, but it’s probably not what you were looking for:

If you’re being interviewed in any situation, try to answer questions in complete sentences. For example if you’re asked about your favorite color say “My favorite color is _________”, not just the color itself.

This gives them the option of cutting out the interviewer in edits, and just overall makes it easier on the producer and editor to use the footage as they need. Generally speaking like 85% of what you say will be cut anyways.

Unless it’s a live interview, don’t hesitate to stop yourself and re-state something in a different way. Editors will want you to sound good, so they’ll help you a lot.

I once spent a solid month editing audio for an interview with a Buddhist monk because he kept sucking his teeth and it made a weird sound. The length of the piece kept changing (2 min, 5 min, 4 min, 7 min, 9 min, 4 min) so I had to just edit the audio on the raw interview so I could make each individual edit faster.

Makeup isn’t as complicated as people think. The blunt truth is that TV lights makes E V E R Y O N E ‘ S skin look greasy and oily, no exceptions. Still, you can buy a $3 compact of what looks like white powder (Probably called HD or Photo-Ready). Don’t spend a lot of money on it, don’t let Revlon convince you you need their $12 version. It’s all just talcum powder.

The powder breaks up the light so your skin looks like skin on TV and not a swamp monster thing.

Any makeup beyond that is what we call “beauty makeup”. That’s like if you contour, put on lipstick, eyeliner, etc. Do all that as you wish, then put the HD/Photo-ready powder on top. 

Especially focus on forehead (double-especially at hairline), beneath your eyes, nose (double-especially the tip), upper lip, and chin. Cheeks as needed, but that area tends to see less direct light and so it doesn’t look as oily.

In general, unless you’re reading off a teleprompter directly into a camera, just pretend it isn’t there.

This goes for news interviews, general interviews, etc. 

As we say at the station “Keep calm and don’t look at the camera- look anywhere but the camera.”

If you DO NOT want to be on camera (if a crew is grabbing general shots on the street or something)—

Just go up to the camera man, patiently wait while he finished his shot, and then say ‘Excuse me, I’m going to be over there, can you please try to avoid getting me in the shot?”

99% of the time they’ll just say “Oh, yeah, sure, that’s fine” and even if they do get you in the shot, it’ll be super wide so there are a ton of people and you aren’t featured. Or if they’re also editing the piece (like news cameramen), they’ll cut around footage of you.

OR if confrontation makes you uneasy, just stare dead-eyed directly into the camera (bonus points for not blinking). If you make them uncomfortable, they won’t use the footage.

OR go up and tell them you DEFINITELY want to be on camera (or behave in a way that suggests it). If someone is too eager for attention they’ll specifically cut you out of the shot.

You can also just hold up a branded item (like a Starbucks cup or shopping bag) and prominently feature it along with your person. Unless that company is one of the sponsors of what they’re shooting, the camera guys will avoid it.

If a microphone is being put on you (properly), the crew is going to be all up in your space.

My general policy (since I’m the one who mics everyone) is that I will talk someone through exactly what I’m doing as I’m doing it so they don’t feel uncomfortable.

I ask them to please put the microphone up under their shirt and out through the neck, then say “Alright, now I’m just going to clip this right here and then pull the cord a little bit to get some of the slack out… And we’re done!”

If the lady has a dress on I warn her I’m going to be clipping the mic to her neckline, then pushing the cord down into her collar and around to her back, where I will use a little bit of (gaffers) tape to pin it in place.

I’ve trained the guys I work with to also speak like that rather than just grabbing people’s shirts and moving stuff around, if the person putting a mic on you just reaches for you ask them to please let you know what they’re doing at each step.

Just a note– don’t wear clunky necklaces that sit at the neckline, you’re an audio person’s worst nightmare.

If the mic is put on WELL, it will go under a layer of clothing to hide the cord. If the program is more lax or the audio person is lazy, the cord will just be left hanging out (which looks sloppy).

If you are putting a mic on a dress that has multiple layers/textures, clip the mic to the most fabric-esque of those layers.

I had to mic Natalie Cole (daughter of Nat King Cole) for an interview and while I went for the fabric of her dress, the other camera crew clipped onto a plastic petal she had. Their mic fell off 4 times because of the slippery material and the final time she snapped at them and then (nicely) asked me to fix the mic since mine hadn’t fallen off.

Natalie Cole was such a nice lady.

Celebrities aren’t as scary as they’re made out to be, UNLESS–

Generally it’s their manager who is a dick (so they don’t have to be because Image).

As long as you are professional, most celebs are normal people. Don’t ask for autographs or photos if you’re there to work (why I don’t have pics with most people I’ve worked with ), don’t shirk duties to stare at them. 

Job first. Ogling second. All celebs respect that.

They tend to have pretty packed schedules, so if you’re delaying them you are directly screwing up their day.

That being said, most still understand accidents on set happen with audio or video and won’t bite your face off if there’s a slip-up.

The meaner a celebrity is, the lower-level they are.

I’ve worked with sports stars, television stars, even an ex-President of the United States (Jimmy Carter, who I DID get a selfie with because he offered), yet the absolute WORST ‘celebs’ I’ve ever worked with are the ones you’ve never heard of with niche or tiny fan-bases.

Generally speaking, Celebrities didn’t get their status by being dicks (I mean legit celebs, not reality tv people). As long as you’re professional and treat them with basic respect, they’ll be cool. If they were impossible to work with they wouldn’t make it so far.

They also tend to be very well behaved when cameras are around.

That was probably both way too much info and not at all what you wanted to know, but I’m a camera woman, audio director, field director/producer, and now graphics operator. I’ve been on TV often but never intentionally~~~

[mindwideopen]

I am, a born again giver. I’ve taken for waaaayyy too long. Hoarding, keeping, covetous behavior. Believe me, I’ve done it. But I’ve decided, I have been needy, and a taker. I have kept things, in my house, that I don’t use, that is energy that others could be using, for a long time. I’ve also withheld my love, to people in my relationships. I’m being honest, because it feels better to do it, and because, I’ve decided that it’s time for a change, for the whole of me.

The fact is, I’ve hidden, and withheld, my love from people I love, that I feel I’ve been hurt by. The hurt, is what caused, and causes my behavior in those cases. Ask anyone who knows me. I’m, a jerk. Well, that’s how I feel they feel. And I see that a lot, in my daily life. Jerk... asshole... fuckers... all of them. Well, the fact is, none of them, are that. I saw, what I felt. And that’s how it works. Fear vs. love, is a real thing. All emotions break down to either fear or love, and love, ain’t that.

Deciding to love, is not a job for the weak. Love gets a bad rap sometimes. “I love you”. Pussy... love is for chicks with dicks. You can’t possibly love. You’re a man. You have to be strong, and powerful, and show dominance over all others. Well, I have, and quite frankly, I hate having that kind of a penis.

Love is not a pussy action. It takes balls upon balls, to love. Or, as Betty white says, balls are weak, why not love like a pussy, cause it takes a good pounding. I’m paraphrasing, but that was the gist. Love, isn’t the dick move, it’s the best move you can make, and here’s why; love envelopes you, in power. The power of love, moves people to be, who they are. It allows the contrast to fade, and the love out shines all hate, and fear. Fear, is what holds us back from achieving the life we all desire. The lives all look different, cause what floats one of us may not do it for another, but ultimately the very same effect occurs. Happiness.

Happiness is relative, but the result of your feeling good, affects the whole of us all. The people who are happy, are more likely to love others, and treat people with respect and kindness. Seems pretty obvious, but we don’t tend to concentrate on creating that in our lives deliberately sometimes. The deliberate attention to loving ourselves, starts the chain of how the collective consciousness feels and acts, and how we feel and behave towards others, is the result. The fact is, only love, can save us all.

But love, is a lofty goal. It is. Love! Pft! So general. So stupid. Ok, I’ll love. Yeah, right. That will “save the world”. Whatever. Yep. That’s where it starts. With our perception toward love. So let’s try to define it. What is love to you? Maybe love is fast cars and hot women. Maybe love is a badass motorcycle on an empty highway going 88 mph. Or maybe love is a kitten, who cares? The point is, love, is a personal thing. But whatever does it for you, do that more often. Cause it will aid, in how we all treat one another, and feel about ourselves in the process. The 2 go hand in hand, really. The love, we feel, we give, and the love we see, we acknowledge to ourselves, as our own self worth.

Well, now I’m in the soup. Cause my son was trying to talk to me, and I got mad cause I was trying to type this post, and he wanted to talk. A lot. So, the loving thing to do? Whatever you feel, is good. So, are you feeling guilty like I am? If you are, go back and acknowledge your misstep. If not, continue your anger, the rest of the day pointed at him. Or, decide to let it all go, and act normally next time. All of these options, vaiid, but what feels the best? Well, I’m peeing right now as I type, but eventually, I’ll go back and apologize, and be cool with my boy, cause he’s pretty neat, and I dig having an open, and good relationship with him. Please hold, as I wipe, and do that. I’ll let you know how it turns out. Ok, the wiping went as expected, and my son and I, are cool. I apologized. Cause he comes first to me. That’s the way I choose to love, not for anyone else, but myself. Because loving my son, is my top priority, sometimes. And sometimes, all the time, I’m human. And I get aggravated that I’m not where I want to be in my life, and I’m not the best mom, but we try to stay vigilant as humans that are trying their best to be good parents and people to everyone in our lives. It’s a process, and we have our lives, to practice.

Life isn’t always the easiest to navigate. But, that’s a belief I have to overcome. It can be easy, if I think it is. My beliefs, dictate how I feel about things like that, myself, and others. The actions I decide to take are ruled by me. My moods, my emotions, who cut me off on the road, who screwed me over years ago, who talked shit about me and I found out about it. A lot of things in life affect the moods of us all. And when we interact, all is accounted for. “Oh yeah? Well I’m not taking your shit ever again! Fuck off!” “Fine! Oh, and I’ll take back my Pink Floyd album with David gilmour on there, and he’s hot, even though he’s in his mid 70s... whatever!” “Yeah, and give me back my copy of Aerosmith’s pump, cause you and I both know that steven Tyler had sex in an elevator, a lot, the whole band probably has!” “Oh yeah? Well I want my copy of peter Gabriel’s “I love to be loved” back, cause I do, and I don’t love you!” “Great, and ll take back my Nazareth’s love hurts, cause it fuckin does!” “Well, the indigo girls write about that love shit all the time, so it’s all mine now!” “Whatever, rem says “I am the everything” so I am, and “everybody hurts” so you can suck it, cause you hurt me! Asshole...” “Uh huh, right! I’m over this shit! So I’m gonna take back all of “the cure” on out of here, by deleting your ass, that is big, like sir mix a lots big butt song! I’m out!” (Other person sticks tongue out) scene.

Why am I an asshole, to myself? Why do I choose my “right tight assness” over loving someone and getting over my own shit? Cause of hurt. Cause of pain, cause of not being heard or appreciated for being myself. Well, all that is also valid, but who is in charge of how I feel? No one, but me. So how do I stop myself from being insulted by everyone’s ass behavior? By changing my perception of it. Well, I can’t. Cause it hurt, and really pissed me off. So wait a minute... I’m in charge of that shit! Right, so now what? Well, I decide to focus on something else for a bit, until I feel a little better. Yeah, but I still am thinking about that ass move! What a douche! Right, I’m right back to where I started. Thinking about the ass. So, now what? Well, be accepting in the moment. “Fuck them! Yeah! Jerks...” how is that energy working for you? Not at all. Right. Focus, is everything.

Is it easy at first? Fuck no! It’s terrible! It hurts and I’m mad and I hate and it’s everyone’s fault and they are all against me, and they’re happy and I’m not and the world isn’t fair and the gas prices are high and the taxes are too and I’m gonna get high or drink to numb and make myself balance out a bit. THAT’S how it starts. And that’s not where it ends. It ends, with everyone, losing their g. d. minds with misery and upset.

We are all interconnected. There is not one person, that isn’t in some way connected to another. Even the hermit in the forest by themselves, is connected to nature, which is connected to themselves, and everyone else. Our shared humanity, is what brings us together, whether we like it, or not. So why not become one? Because fear, rocks that boat, and HARD!

I’m not like them! They have NO F’N CLUE what I’ve been through, or the experiences I’ve had, or the love I’ve been denied! They’re this, or that, or not into what I’m into, or a different race, or gender, or socioeconomic class, or whatever, just NOT like me, so they can’t say SHIT! Yes, well, do you like pumpkin spice lattes? Wtf?! Pumpkin spice lattes? I’m talking to you about your uneducated ass talking to me about me, ok? And now you’re talking about pumpkin spice lattes. You’re stupid! Yes, I am, but do you like them? I don’t know... the hell with this conversation... ok. Well, if you do, here’s a Starbucks gift card for one. Maybe we can discuss how you feel over one. Um, no, cause you’ll never get me. I’m too different from you. Got it. Then which latte do you like, cause there’s a lot to choose from..

There’s a commonality between people that were missing in society today. Similarities run rampant around the world, but we seem to blow right past it sometimes, without a bat of an eyelash. The similarity, is love. We all need it. We all crave it; understanding, care, compassion, empathy. But do we give it freely? And do we give it, to ourselves?

Here’s how I give love to myself the best I can, and mind you, I’m no expert. Just sharing some observations here. I mean, I’m not educated. I’m still technically in my junior year of college. I only have an associates degree in liberal arts, not psychology. I’m not a very good example of what you would call, “a success” or even employed. So what do I know? THAT, is what I used to say to myself, in my head, a lot. Now, my internal monologue, all be it not perfect, is different. It’s, “hey Kari. Let’s do our best to love today. Oh shit, all I see that I’m getting from people is more hate. Ok, recognized and reconsidered. I don’t have to stay in this place in my mind, seeing all that hate. What can I do to jar myself out of it, and perceive more positively? Think the next best thought I can believe, fully. Ok, what’s that? How about, I’m a good person who does her best? I mean, it’s true. I try. Yes, cool. What can you do to take care of you today? Deodorant! Yes! How about a shower? Better! Ok.” and so on and so forth.

Love, is not always a grand gesture. And it’s a word we throw away often. Love is the small things we do, to get to the bigger things. That’s how energy works. Incrementally. We can’t go and sustain a surge of energy. I’m better! I’m healed! From feeling like shit? Really? Yes! All better! I’ll never feel that way again, Thank fuck, cause that way was ass! I mean, I was feeling like ass, but now, I’m better, cause those people are douches, and I’m not, so I feel better cause they’re out, and I’m alone without they’re energy... um, yeah. Well, I was feeling good until I triggered myself back with the thoughts of how they were douches, and mad... yes, im back in ass gulch again in my head. And I’ve been stuck in this line with the mask on at the Trader Joe’s now, (a store I usually love with a shit ton of friendly good people both working and shopping there but I can’t see that perception today, cause I’m mad, and I feel like shit) for way too long! We see, what we want to see. We experience, what we expect and believe. That’s the truth. Whether it’s true or not is irrelevant. The choices we make on how to feel about things, are. The choice to think the thoughts we think, about everything, every day is life.

Life is not all easy n shit. My belief. It’s hard to get money. Another belief. My cat pissed on my face this morning, so my life is over, not a belief I hold, as I don’t have a cat, cause allergic. But I do know, that I can piss on myself with my thoughts, and have the same effect. Affect, effect? The same in this case. What affects us, is the effects of us all.

Being human, just is. What we make of our collective human experience and how we treat others? Our choice completely. Decisions are based on our beliefs, and our beliefs are based on either love or fear. I have to go now, as my son is hungry. But I’ll leave you with this; I love you. I stand with you in love. Choose hate, which is fear, and I won’t. My son is listening to the song, “stand by me”. My promise to you is that I will stand by you, in love, if I decide to. Love is an emotion that I’m still working on too. I fall in and out of it. But the choice, is always to hop back on the love train, cause it’s taking me places I want to go. To happyville. ❤️