#also really like how like. traumatized he got

[sexually-attracted-to-pans]

My drama so far is so much more lame. I'm about halfway through my Freshman year so you have a timeline for this.

Theater: So this couple that's in sophomore year, broke up after three years together. They were cast together as the main couple in our play Puffs this year, and on the night of the second show they had an argument. Now I'm a tech person so I didn't see anything go down but apparently this happened again the next day, the day of our final show. And that night at the cast party, one of the other actors was flirting to the girl from this relationship while she flirt back and that's how everyone found out they broke up. About 90% sure they got together. But anyway the guy was devastated no one saw or heard from him for weeks, we were all getting really worried and then he just showed back up one day and hooked up with one of the senior guys(yes he's bi its high school theater none of us are straight), and we found out he was quitting theater the same day.

(Bonus: I wrote fanfiction about 2 unrelated characters from the play and it was shared around the entire cast before a senior friend of mine read it out load in dramatic reading for one of the actors who played one of the characters that I wrote about. The fanfiction I wrote about to sad gay Hogwarts kids and the life of one of them after the other dies in the battle of Hogwarts. traumatized him. I feel sorry for the man but we have talked and luckily he only holds the grudge against the friends that read it to him, who later wrote smut fanfic about the characters on Wattpad(mine was ao3)).

BEN(before I start this one I want to say I did date him for a month in middle school but I hate him for being a manipulative gaslighting bitch): SO started with small lies last year about being extremely good at a card game he played called Battle Spirits, none of us though anything of it as it was just him being cocky and pretending to be cool.

Then this year, supposedly has 9 grandparents die in the same 2 weeks, is still going to school and claims he cared but never brings it up unless we are talking about something he doesn't know about. Then claims his mom got pregnant with his what 5th sibling, a little girl. We know he doesn't have a mom that he's in contact with as he was adopted and his father is gay(my friends dad is friends with Ben's dad that's how we found out). Then less then 5 months after he made up lies about her whole pregnancy he claims his "little sister" dies of a non-existent heart disease. Still going to school and doesn't even bother pretending to act sad. Claims to win a world wide contest for the card game in Japan, we don't even have proof of him going to Japan over the summer.

We are getting tired and kick him out of the group. You want to know how he tried to convince us to let him back in? Claim he got a girl(from our school who we know) pregnant. Only took a month for him to try and gaslight the school into believing that abortion wasn't a medical procedure which you need parental consent for so that he could lie and say they never told their parents.

He also tried to claim he had the rarest blood type in the world when our school did a blood drive. He was referring to Rh-null also called Golden Blood. "Rh-null aka “Golden Blood” is the rarest blood type in the world with fewer than 50 (43 to be exact) known cases ever reported. While there are only eight main/common blood types, there are an additional 61 possible antigens in the Rh system, which means that the eight main blood types can be subdivided into millions of different blood types. Rh-null occurs when a person’s blood lacks all of the 61 possible antigens." (I am quoting this from an article about blood types: https://rarest.org/people/blood-types).

Yep this man has done so many other small things like claiming to have 1000s of dollars in custom made costumes while showing us ai photos of them, and thousands of dollars in cards for the card game(which might be the only true one as his dad owns a card and game shop).

Now that I wrote that whole thing maybe my life is much worse then I thought...

where do TV shows get this idea that high school is constant drama, nothing even fucking happened to me in high school

[fortemelody]

okay so like… imma say something maybe perhaps perchance controversial and hot-takey relating to sonic. and i’ve wanted to say this for awhile but didnt wanna get canceled becus it’s something that’s sorta difficult to convey through text…

i remember seeing a year or two ago that quite a few people thought shadamy was wrong simply becus amy reminded shadow of maria in SA2. so basically implying that like if amy is reminiscent of maria, this “inherently” means that shadow thinks of her also as his sibling of sorts.

but i honestly think this way of thinking isn’t correct. if you think about this in any context rather than this fandom then my point will be simpler to understand. for example, you can think to yourself “wow my partner has similar traits to {insert person here} in my family” WITHOUT thinking of them as the same person. acknowledging a parallel in personality should not be off limits when comparing someone you share romantic love with and someone you share platonic love with in my opinion, unless you’re the one constantly choosing to say/act upon that fact in an intentionally weird way.

we also don’t really know *exactly* what shadow was thinking in this exact moment, other than the fact that amy’s kind words changed his perspective and motives, which was the main point of that cutscene overall. it could very well be possible that shadow is experiencing some form of underdeveloped love for amy in that moment, but even he doesn’t know what kinda of love that may be becus he’s spent his whole life just traumatized and not exposed to relationship and friendship status quo of the outside world.

and may i remind you that shadamy is not the only ship to do this… so that argument really doesn’t even work?!? sonadow, probably the most popular ship ever in sonic, does this too. that official japanese art/story with shadow looking at the blue shoes references the parallels between sonic and maria i believe, along with MANY fan works i see regularly.

i’m glad the shift in shadamy has become apparent after TMOSTH and the twitter takeovers. i honestly change my opinion quite frequently between seeing this ship as more platonic or more romantic, but i wanted to still defend it nonetheless becus i find it quite ridiculous how much backlash it got for the stupidest things.

and in case this wasn’t clear- I DONT SUPPORT INCEST AND THIS POST IS NOT TRYING TO EXCUSE INCEST IN ANY WAY. i really just think that characters can be more complex than some people initially interpret them and so to quickly shame others based on these conclusions feels very odd to me.

[writersblockiskillingme]

I NEED GI HUN X F! READER PLEASEEEEEE

There’s barely anything for him:((

It can be literally anything but rn I’m craving comfort so maybe Gi Hun comforts his girl when she starts crying and she can’t really explain what’s wrong

Comfort | Seong Gi-hun x reader

Pairing: Seong Gi-hun x fem!reader

Summary: You knew that hunting down the salesman was going to be difficult, but after everything that you've been through in the games alongside Gi-hun, sometimes everything feels like it's going to suffocate you. Luckily, he's always there for you.

Warning/s: angst, hurt/comfort, a little fluff, short fic, just two traumatized people trying to heal each other, PTSP (talking about the games), death, tears, sadness, depressed atmosphere, cigarette addiction, cursing (?), mourning, guns, hunting down the salesman, possible grammar and spelling mistakes

Author's note: So I finally got out of the writer's block, and I found some spare time, so I finally sat down to write. I gave it my best shot. I hope you like it! More to come.

Being his friend was easy. Being in love with him was even easier.

Once the games came around, everything became more complicated. I simply never thought that something like this was going to happen. Working in a job position that I did never brought me much money. Sure, it was enough to bring some food on my table and to cover the bills, but it wasn't anything big. However, once I found myself drowning in debt, I found myself in a horrific situation with no way out.

The money that I earned was not enough for respectable food, I couldn't pay my landlord for a few months, and I was a few weeks away from being kicked out on the streets. Not to mention the debt for which it seemed like I never paid enough to get out of. I thought moving back to Korea would somehow help me at least to escape the loan sharks and pay for necessary things, but I couldn't imagine how wrong I would be.

That's when I met him. The Salesman. Playing the ddakji with him for some money earned me some food for that night, but it also gave me an opportunity of a lifetime. It was an opportunity that I now know I would have never taken if I had known what was waiting for me out there once I called the number at the back of the card that he gave me.

Before the first game, I saw him. My old childhood friend Seong Gi-hun. Up until I saw him, I came to a realization about just how much I missed him.

Truth to be told, I have always felt something more than friendship for him ever since I was I kid. At first, I brushed it off, but when I entered my teenage years, I realized that I really loved him.

I had to move away when I was twenty years old. I haven't seen him ever since. I only heard a few snippets about his life during the years I spent away from Korea. I heard that he had a, now ex, wife, and a daughter.

It was his mother who called me. She used to watch over me sometimes when we were kids, and since I was her son's best friend back then, we kept in touch over the years. It was nice, to be honest. Up until the day that she called me for a regular check-up. I had just gotten off of work after a really bad day. I had just sat down by the kitchen counter when I heard my phone ringing. The entire time I was on a call with her, she sounded strange. Kind of nervous, maybe even a bit disappointed. After a while I couldn't take it anymore and when I asked her what was wrong she told me the joyful news.

"Gi-hun is getting married."

I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was suffocating. I somehow forced myself to finish the phone call, trying to sound as happy as I could, considering that the love of my life was marrying another. A few years later, he got a daughter, and I soon heard about the divorce. I tried calling him multiple times to check on him. He never answered.

We reconnected during the games. During the bloodshed. During the pain. During the tears. During the final game, where it was down to Sangwoo, him and I. After Sangwoo died, I knew I couldn't kill him. He couldn't either. After the stunt that we pulled, we survived. We were about to kill ourselves, we truly were, but then at the last second, just as the knife had scraped the surface of my neck, they announced two winners.

After that, I realized that I couldn't live without him. I didn't have a family, didn't have any friends. His mother died, and his daughter moved with her mother and stepfather to America he lost his family, too. We were everything to each other. We still are.

As the months, years, passed, we set ourselves on a mission of finding the salesman.

At first, we didn't touch the money covered with the invisible blood. We couldn't bring ourselves to do so, but when we realized that we may have a shot at taking down the games, we used the money only for that sole purpose.

The first thing we did was to pay off our debts. Then together we bought the love hotel called "Pink Motel" in Seoul. The sign outside was always tured off. We decided to buy it so we could live there and now we also use it as headquarters while tracking down the salesman. Which was always.

That was currently our only purpose in life right now.

After we figured out our plan, we started to work with the loan sharks that were chasing us because of our debts. We paid them to find the salesman, and they were searching relentlessly.

Our mental health hasn't been all that great either.

Both Gi-hun and I have developed a cigarette addiction. Sometimes all we did was breath in the intoxicating smoke instead of air. In a strange way it helped me breath. I wasn't so nervous anymore. My hands shook less.

Gi-hun has nightmares. Every single night. I have them, too, but not that frequently. He had a gun next to his nightstand. I had mine under the pillow. It brought a sense of comfort that was always short-lived.

The nightmares kept us up all night, and because of them, we couldn't find any rest even during the daytime. It was always the people we lost on that cured island. Sangwoo... Sae-byeok... Ali... The images of our friends dead never left my brain. And neither did Gi-hun's. Other times, we dreamt that we're still playing the games. Us dying. Each other dying. The Frotman. The salesman.

It was too much.

I was just monitoring the room where our most trusted men were practicing. I didn't realize when it had happened, but I fell asleep. I guess all those sleeping pills that Boss Kim gave to Gi-hun and me finally caught up to me.

I felt trapped. Gi-hun... he was dying in front of me during the squid game. I couldn't do anything about it. I held him, covered in his blood, crying, screaming, curing at the sky for the misfortune we had to live. Cursing the makers of the game. Cursing the Frontman. Cursing the pink guards that just stood there and did nothing. Cursing the world.

Hands.

They were shaking my shoulders.

My name.

It was uttered from the lips of the man that I would die for.

My eyes snapped open, meeting Gi-hun's worried ones. Once he realized that I was awake, his face visibly relaxed, relief washing over him as I heard him let out a sigh, his head and shoulders hung downwards.

"A nightmare again?" He asked me as he brought his hand up to my cheeks, whipping away the tears that I didn't know fell, but also wasn't surprised that they did.

"I-I can't-" I sobbed, unable to form a sentence as he quickly brought me in his arms, drowning me in his chest.

"Shhh..." He whispered as he ran his hand down my hair as I cried against his neck, drowning his black shirt with my tears, "I'm here. You're okay."

"Yo-You w-were-" I stuttered, tears streaming down my cheeks, "You were dying, and I-I couldn't s-save y-you."

For a moment, there was just quiet in the room. Neither spoke. The only thing breaking the silence of our bedroom were my cries.

"Do you know why I never answered your phone calls after you found out about the divorce?" He asked me, his voice low, but soft with comfort. His sudden question about that topic surprising me a bit, "Do you know why my mother told you about it instead of me? The wedding, the divorce?"

"No."

"It was because I didn't want to face the fact that I was the cause of your misery." He whispered, still softly running his hand through my hair, my cries slowly dying down as I listened to him speak.

"I have always loved you and I knew that I hurt you with my decision even though I never wanted that to happen. I just tried to forget about you, I never knew that I could actually be with you." He sighed, "I thought that it would be the best for you. I didn't deserve you, I'm not even sure I still do." He chuckled softly.

"But even though I may not deserve you, I will never stop fighting for you and your happiness. You are my everything, and I would be damned if I ever let you feel any sort of pain." He lifted my chin with his hand as he leaned down, pressing his forehead against mine, our lips almost meeting each other's, "We will find him and end this, but for now, how about I make you some tea and we get you to bed huh, my love? What do you say?"

-

-

-

@shadow-tumbler

[just-some-random-blogger]

LKAHSFL'H I CANT BELIEVE I HAVENT REBLOGGED THIS YET LAKSFHLKASHFL'HASFHASF ASF YOU MUST FORGIVE ME I DONT WANT TO CLOG THE DASH WITH A REBLOG OF THE SAME CHAPTER YA FEEL ILY ILY

first of all, almost crying during a nail appointment is honestly such iconic behavior HAHAHHAHAHHAH LOLOLOL. im kinda sad you stopped reading ): you should have cried during the nail appointment AHHAHAHAHAHAH LOLOLOL JK

CARGYLL TWIN SCREENTIME GO BRRRRRRRRRR RAHHHH. i would never take erryk or arryk for that matter from you <3 I WISH THEY HAD MORE SCREEN TIME IN THE SHOW FR THEY FUCKING KILLED THEM AND TRAUMATIZED ME AND FOR WHAT???????????

and viserys yeah 😬😬😬 T_T i love making people have sympathy for him even when hes disgusting 😁 because thats the whole point of this story (: i love my barbies. i wish him a very much rot

STARK OBESSION GO BRRR. tumblr notified me you posted something and I RAN COS I THOUGHT IT WAS AN UPDATE but it was just a reblog of your fic 🙄 WHICH IS FINE AND IM NOT PRESSURING YOU AT ALL TO UPDATE. job and robb are hot fr but i wanted benjen THEN THEY FUCKING OFFED HIM 🤬 also HE PROBABLY HAS ONE HAS ME GAGGED.

[...] Older me can now see Ned's appeal too. He probably has one, with how much Catelyn loved having his babies)

I WAS ABOUT TO ASK 'HAS WHAT' then i realized you mean APPEAL T_T he probably has APPEAL T_T CRYINNNGGGGGGGG. i cant help but think about all the boromir memes (cuz you know sean bean) and how his dad would react to this MY SON HAS APPEAL 🤬 HAHAHAHAH LMAO. honestly, i feel catelyn. if i was married to a stark id have 10000 babies too AHHAHA LOL

The scene where she lost the babies hurt me physically. I now get what you said and why you laughed when I hoped the baby was valyrian to spare her the pain, you cruel, cruel woman.

its ok i love you

DAEMON GROVEL ERA IS A NEED. dont worry about spam liking i love it when that happens

[...] making Viserys and Alicent's marriage be all about him [...]

YOU KNOW WHAT YOURE SO RIGHT. HE THINKS HES THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE FR OMLLL UGHHH EWW

HERES TO HIM BEING JEALOUS AND SUFFERING FOREVER FOR LIFE

ALSO MY GEORGE FIC WEEE I THINK IT WAS REALLY CUTE! i was honestly gagged that i struggled to write fluff 💀 all because of this series 😀 BUT THENI GOT MY GROOVE AND IM MAKING A GEORGE ANGST NOW BECAUSE IM INSANE HAHAHHA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

Tormented Spirit | 12

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

"Is it such a sin to stand up for yourself?" you mutter as tears blur your vision. The way he reacted was visceral, instinctive even. "You never have to stand up for yourself ever again," says Daemon, reaching a hand to you, "come."

Daemon Targaryen x Hightower!Reader | 6k+ | cw: fem!reader, reader has brown hair, wife!reader, twin!Gwayne, arranged/forced marriage, canon divergence, alternate universe, slow burn, DD:DNE, pregnancy, miscarriage, panic/anxiety attacks, suicidal ideation, attempted suicide, daddy issues/child abuse/family problems, mentions/depictions of mental/physical/psychosomatic illness, ye old misogyny, angst, typos, etc.

A/N: i would just like to bring everyone's attention to the fact this fic is called tormented spirit. BTW some of yall might wanna read my weasely twins fluff cuz 😀 yeah you should read some fluff! leave comments/reblogs ok!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS | cross posted on ao3

@arabellasleopardcoat @prettybiching @myllovellybones

Since your sister's wedding, there were two things you no longer did: speak to your sister and go to your father. Everyday, instead of having the Lord Hand accompany you to your maester, you were accompanied by one of your wards.

At first, you were apprehensive with the change. After all, they were your knights, but neither of them were the father to your babe, and even fathers were rarely involved with prenatal care. Though, the patience they extended is not unusual, you were surprised that Erryk and Arryk took time asking the maester additional information concerning things that might need their attention in the future.

Today, you walk to the maester's ward, one hand on your belly the other on Erryk's bicep. As he opens the door, you freeze when you hear the voices in the room.

"Daughter." "Sister."

These words are spoken at the same time. You clench your teeth and turn to Erryk, whose jaw is set. You take a breath and decide to simply come back later.

Alicent stands the cot she sat upon and raises a hand, "please! I'm finished. You can come now."

Finished? Why is she being examined by the maester?

Otto is angered by your persistence to ignore them. He scowls and glares at Erryk, "you remind your princess to practice some humility," he points a finger, "her actions are affecting the queen, who is now carrying an heir."

Your face drops as you turn to her.

She is already staring at you. You watch her pick her nails. You catch the redness of her cuticles.

Erryk is equally shocked. He stutters before nodding in regard, "congratulations, my queen."

Alicent shakes her head, forcing a smile, "t-thank you, ser."

Your father's eyes remain on you. He waits for you to offer the same sentiment, but his anger only intensifies at your continued silence. He scoffs, "will you not even congratulate your sister?"

You clutch your pronounced belly and turn to your maester, "may we please do the examination? I cannot bear to stand for long."

Otto and Alicent watch you move past them. The latter is resigned to your commitment of not speaking to her, the former seethes and laughs dryly. He offers his arm to the queen, "come, daughter. Let us pray that your sister's impertinence is merely as side effect of childbearing."

Your sister spares you a glassy glance before taking Otto's arm and leaving with him. You watch as they leave, feeling yourself grow hard of breathing.

The maester asks you to sit, but before you do, you snatch his arm, "is she truly with child?"

He looks at your teary face. He feels the tremble of your hand as he places his own atop of it. He carefully speaks "it is joyous news, is it not?"

You release a shaky breath as he helps you sit.

"Princess," the maester warily says, "breathe for me. We cannot proceed if you overcome by your affliction."

You place both your hands on your belly and take a couple deep breaths. You close your eyes and resist the sob that threatens to come. A couple of tears wet your cheeks, but you manage to remain intact. You wipe your face and mutter to yourself, "it's barely been a moon since they've wed."

Your maester hears it though and offers, "your sister is blessed with a fertile womb."

You wish he had not tried to comfort you with such an idea.

You try not to think of Alicent as you do your daily examination, but she is all you think of. You think of how frightened she must be. You think of how your father surely told her about your daily visits to the maester. You wonder if he would force her to do the same, just to get you to talk to her. She wouldn't need daily examinations like you; she is perfectly healthy, stronger than you, as she said herself.

You are so deep in thought, you don't even realize the maester was finished with you, up until he says something that demands your full attention.

"What?" you knit your brows at him.

"We will be more certain of it as the moons wax and wane, but considering you are a twin yourself, and, again, because of the rather rapid growth of your belly, chances are my deduction is correct."

He helps you up and Erryk is quick to take your arm. You mutter through a shaky breath, "I'm carrying twins?"

Your maester nods, "highly likely."

You turn to Erryk, who offers you a reassuring smile, "I... congratulate you, my princess."

You stare at him for a moment and blink rapidly.

"You might give birth to a boy and girl who will have the same devotion you and your brother have," Erryk says in an attempt to take away some of the fear written across your face.

It does actually. You recall your visit to Oldtown and find yourself nodding, "I... I must write a letter at once."

Many moons come and go, but across the sea, the sun shines. Daemon's day has just started. His mood is nothing but sour, as it always is. He is loathe to start his day, but he does, and with a grunt, and leaves his tent to break his fast.

We eats with the Velaryons, Corlys, Vaemond, and Laenor, and though he did not hold any particular fondness for them, there was something in the way they all spoke in nothing but High Valyrian that made mornings not completely unbearable.

"My prince," Corlys greets him in their mother tongue. He hands Daemon a plate, "duck."

Daemon raises his brow at it, "with salt?"

"And pepper," Leanor says with a half-amused expression.

"My," Daemon sits down with them, "I am spoiled."

Corlys waits for Daemon to have a few bites before continuing conversation. He clears his throat, "before the day passes, allow me, my brother, and my son-" he looks between the said people, earning furrowed brows from Laenor, "-to greet you, both on behalf of House Velaryon, and as your comrade in battle for you—"

"Oh, yes!" Leanor interjects once he remembers, "congratulations, my prince!"

This earns him a look from his father, and his uncle. Laenor, who had been grinning, slowly raises his brows, "a-... apologies for interrupting, father."

Corlys sighs, "as I was-"

"And have we won the war overnight?" the prince says, rather uninterested, both in small talk and in his duck.

Corlys is confused by this, "I... no." He slowly tilts his head, "does your lady wife not write to you?"

Daemon is immediately on edge at the mention of you, "and what of her?"

Corlys narrows his eyes. He puts him to the test, "... you are aware your brother, the king, has remarried?"

Daemon whips his head his direction.

"And that also he expects an heir to be delivered come spring?"

"Remarried?!" Daemon repeats in offence, "and which scheming cunt managed to tricked him into marriage?"

Corlys turns to Vaemond, who turns to Leanor, who turns back to Corlys. The latter clears his throat, "your bride's sister, my prince."

His eyes widen. He looks between the Velaryons, then scoffs dryly. He begins to laugh, "that roach of a Hand has Viserys's bollocks shoved down his fucking throat."

Their faces contort at the foul language. Vaemond, in particular, is so offended that he cannot help but ask, "doesn't the princess write to you every day?"

Daemon clenches his plate

"And she never mentioned thi—"

"WHAT USE HAVE I TO READ THE WEEPY WRITING OF MY WIFE?!" the prince snaps, coming to a stand as he chucks his plate to the ground.

Corlys understands then Daemon's initial shock. However, he is still confused, "have you not read any letters from your wife?"

"Would you rather I be distracted, Corlys?" he snaps again, hands now clenched into fists.

Corlys is not intimidated by Daemon's anger, but he is also unincited by the idea a fight. He raises his hands in surrender, "most men gladly welcome distractions in the heat of war."

Daemon chuckles dryly, "I am not most men," then storms all the way back to his tent.

"Jiōragon hen ñuha ñuhoso!" he snaps in High Valyrian still, shoving the unwitting soldier aside. Get out of my way!

He returns to his tent. Another unwitting victim is there. "My prince," he bows, "a letter from Lady H-" Daemon snags the letter from him and shoves him away with exceeding anger and force.

He enters his tent and immediately chucks the letter to the floor, as if it was a vase he intended to shatter into a million pieces. It doesn't, of course; the paper remains intact, along with its seal. He crushes it beneath his heel then grabs the sack containing all your unread letters. He empties it on the floor and violently begins to stomp all over them.

You were his. You were meant to be his! Yet here you were, a pawn in someone else's game. His lust and infatuation has blinded him from this truth. You and your sister were mere tools of your cunt father to manipulate the throne.

He continues to trample your letters until they are brown with the dirt. He catches a lone letter that managed to evade his violence. He picks the unscathed object and only now does he realize its red waxen seal had an imprint of a dragon with a long neck that resembled Caraxes. Daemon scoffs, even his dragon you covet.

He breaks the seal. The letter was sent nearly a moon ago.

𝔇𝔞𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔫, ℑ 𝔥𝔬𝔭𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔞𝔯𝔢 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔱𝔥𝔶 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔴𝔢𝔩𝔩. ℑ𝔱 𝔥𝔞𝔰 𝔟𝔢𝔢𝔫 𝔬𝔫𝔩𝔶 𝔱𝔥𝔯𝔢𝔢 𝔡𝔞𝔶𝔰 𝔰𝔦𝔫𝔠𝔢 𝔪𝔶 𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔦𝔳𝔞𝔩 𝔱𝔬 𝔒𝔩𝔡𝔱𝔬𝔴𝔫, 𝔟𝔲𝔱 ℑ 𝔣𝔢𝔢𝔩 𝔰𝔬 𝔪𝔲𝔠𝔥 𝔩𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔫𝔬𝔴. ℑ 𝔫𝔬 𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔯 𝔣𝔢𝔞𝔯 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔪𝔶 𝔥𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔱𝔥 𝔞𝔰 𝔪𝔲𝔠𝔥 𝔞𝔰 ℑ 𝔡𝔦𝔡 𝔴𝔥𝔦𝔩𝔰𝔱 𝔦𝔫 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤'𝔰 𝔏𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔦𝔫𝔤. ℑ𝔱 𝔦𝔰 𝔪𝔬𝔰𝔱 𝔟𝔢𝔞𝔲𝔱𝔦𝔣𝔲𝔩 𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢; ℑ 𝔡𝔦𝔡 𝔫𝔬𝔱 𝔞𝔭𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔦𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔦𝔱 𝔞𝔰 𝔞 𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔩𝔡. ℑ 𝔟𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔢𝔳𝔢 𝔦𝔱 𝔦𝔰 𝔞 𝔤𝔬𝔬𝔡 𝔭𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔢 𝔱𝔬 𝔯𝔞𝔦𝔰𝔢 𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔩𝔡𝔯𝔢𝔫. ℑ 𝔥𝔬𝔭𝔢, 𝔲𝔭𝔬𝔫 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔯𝔢𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔫, 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔬𝔴 𝔲𝔰 𝔱𝔬 𝔳𝔦𝔰𝔦𝔱 𝔒𝔩𝔡𝔱𝔬𝔴𝔫 𝔬𝔣𝔱𝔢𝔫, 𝔞𝔫𝔡 ℑ 𝔭𝔯𝔞𝔶 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔶 𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔫 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔢𝔳𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔯𝔢𝔱𝔲𝔯𝔫 𝔦𝔰 𝔰𝔬𝔬𝔫. 𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔢, 𝔜𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔴𝔦𝔣𝔢

A good place to raise children?! He scoffs and crumples the paper away. You fantasize of bearing his seed now? He laughs at the idea, chucking the paper across his tent. His amusement goes dry when he realizes it must be your father's ploy.

He's read enough.

Back in the Keep, you too receive a letter. It is from Gwayne, whose weekly response has finally arrived. You do not mind that he does not write to you daily as you did; you are grateful to receive a response at all.

You were set on reading his response, but as is was, you were experiencing terrible nausea and found yourself unable to sit or lie still. For some reason, the only thing that could combat this was walking around. You instead had your ward read your brother's words aloud for you.

Arryk's eyes trail back and forth you and your letter. He comes to your side when you gag, "princess."

You place a hand on your mouth, walking away from him. He watches as you circle your bed, "perhaps, I-"

"Please," you sigh, "do not make me beg you to read it."

Arryk stiffens and shakes his head, "my apologies, your grace." He turns to the parchment, "my twin."

" Louder," you grunt as you momentarily lean on your bed.

"My twin," Arryk repeats slightly louder, "I pray that your health is good, that you have been eating and sleeping as goodly as you did in the days of your visit here."

You take a deep breath and walk towards nothing in particular.

"While I confess a certain light has been lost in the halls of our Oldtown home since your leave, I..." your ward knits his brows, "disagree with your sentiments to return."

"What?" you gasp softly, turning to Arryk.

He looks at you and hesitates, "I... will not honey my words: you disappoint me with your coldness towards our youngest."

You clench your teeth as you feel another gag coming up, "fucking, Gwayne."

"She has written to me more than once to lament your severed relations since she's wed."

Your scoff makes Arryk pause. You look at him as you walk over, "do not stop."

He looks at you as you walk past him. He clears his throat, "I did not speak of it until now, for I believed you to be wiser than your betrayal."

"Ha!" you scoff, eyes immediately watering, "incorrigible pest," you grunt and rub your belly. You pace faster, "unyielding. Unfeeling."

Arryk watches you pace and takes a few steps back and forth so to remain arms reach of you.

"Continue!"

He stiffens, "I—," he turns back to your brother's words, "you've written you believe it will be better for you both that you away, lest your childbearing interlope with hers. I disagree. Consider me a fool-"

"He is," you scratch your eyes.

"-a man who knows nothing of childbirth, which I am, but I know my sisters— I know you at the very least." Arryk watches you as he says the next words, "leaving Alicent will haunt you, your satisfaction short-lived."

You stop in your tracks. You feel your dress tighten around you.

"Lay down your pride and allow yourself to reach for your sister who understands your struggle unlike anyone in the Seven Realms now more than ever."

You feel sick, sicker.

"Upon doing so, see then if you still wish to come to home."

You heave as you continue walking around.

"I offer many prayers to the Mother for both you and our sister. We are truly grown from the same womb, for I too share in your hope that you give birth to a twin boy and girl."

You rub your belly, as the thought softens you a fraction.

"Mostly, I speak thanks and praise for I am to be doubly an uncle. I pray your births come timely and smoothly, and I pray the Lord Hand has extended nothing but gentleness to you both," he folds the paper, "Your Twin."

"See now," you turn to Arryk, "even my twin betrays me, abandons me," you feel tears run down your cheek.

He slowly walks towards you, "that is not what he's done, my princess."

"Then what?!" you shake your hands, "am I not allowed even my anger now?!"

He is taken off guard when you shove him back.

"Even you are against me!"

Arryk steps back, though you barely mustered enough force for him to need to. You quickly pace around again. He feels the flesh beneath his steel you touched begin to push. His lips part "do not accuse me so harshly."

You whip your head back, glaring at him with red eyes, "SHE COULD HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO A LORD IN THE RIVERLANDS! OR HIGHGARDEN!" You throw your hand out, "ANYWHERE BUT HERE, BUT HERE SHE IS!"

His face falls when your rage makes you crumble. He gasp your name out as he catches you just before you fall.

"And for what?!" you wheeze as you are dragged to your bed. You rip at your collar as your chest tightens and tightens and tightens, "for me?"

"Princess," the knight's voice breaks with worry as he sits you down, "I beg you, ple-"

"Undress me," you mutter as you strugggle for air, "unlace my dress, I-"

He does not wait. He is quick to undo your bodice. He is so frantic, he nearly cuts your ties.

You moan as you feel a pressure leave you. You rip your dress off you, thinking of nothing else but catching your breath. Arryk helps you undress and you find it slightly easier to breath once you are left in nothing but your chemise.

Your ward struggles with himself; he does not wish to take advantage of this moment to ogle you, but he also cannot avert his gaze completely, lest you need his assistance. He clenches his jaw and lowers his gaze to his lap, muttering your name softly.

"Never mind my inadequacies, Arryk," you sigh in between deep breaths, "never mind that I will forever be second best to my father, who even wed me to his greatest enemy... who I am to make grandsire to not one but two Targaryen babes."

"Princess," he shakes his head, "I do not wish to-"

"I am used to his insistence of my dimness," you rub your chest, "of my capacity only for tears and succumbing to my own pain," your lips wobble, "but my sister—"

He stiffens and turns to you as lean into him. Your breath is too short and your head too heavy for you to keep yourself upright. Arryk calls our your name as he shifts, bringing his arm around to pull you upright.

"No," you wince, feeling a sharp pain in your belly, "hold me please."

He is immediately alarmed by how you clutch your side, "princess, are you-"

"Please," you rest your head on his armor, "hold me, even if you do not want to."

His hand twitches before, placing it your bare arm. He leans close, close enough to press his lips on your head, but he does not dare. He rubs your skin and whispers, "I want for nothing else."

You are too distracted by yourself that you do not hear him. Uncomfortable as the feel of his armor was, he lulls you into calmness.

When you feel well enough to realize how compromising it would be if someone were to witness you both, you pull away.

He says nothing, does nothing. He simply sit besides you, taking in your sad face.

You a tear drip from the tip of your nose. You rub it away before mumbling, "I had well-made plans for her... plans to shield her, to prosper her."

His eyes fall. He looks at the hand you had on your lap and dares to take it. It is cold and clammy, which is why he rubs it, eager to spread warmth.

The gesture makes goosebumps form on your arms. It makes your breath hitch, but not in a painful way. His gentleness encourages you to continue, "I once thought she looked up to me," you sniffle, "but when she said she was stronger than I," you lower your head.

He frowns.

"I knew then," you look back at him, "she sees only my weakness, along with the rest of the world."

He cannot help himself. He reaches for your cheek and wipes your tears.

You lean into his touch, "I can be strong, Arryk," you both his hands and squeeze them to prove a point, "can you not feel it?"

The gesture makes his heart break. He squeezes your hands in return, "you need not prove such a thing to me," he rubs your skin with his thumbs, "perhaps she does not want you to be strong... not for her."

You huff, "I am her older si-"

"But for your babe."

You are frozen by his words. You open your mouth but find nothing to say.

"Your brother," he gives you a solemn expression, "he says he prays the Lord Hand extends his gentleness to you, but I wonder if all that remained of his gentleness manifested into his daughters' beings."

The thought brings a tear from your eye, "Arryk."

"My princess."

"Should I speak to my sister come the morrow?"

He squeezes your hand again before slowly nodding.

The next day, you do everything in your power to do just that. You found Alicent breaking her fast, but you did not want to inadvertently ruin her appetite with your sudden appearance, for you knew how fickle it was in these times. Later, you found her in her chambers napping, but you didn't wish to interrupt her then either.

The rest of the day, you started feeling unwell, and you could not find it in you to leave your own chambers. When you finally did, the sun had set and Alicent was nowhere to be found. As a last resort, you ventured to the king's chambers.

Erryk announces you once you reach Viserys's door. You look at your knight with apprehension but he only returns a reassuring nod. There is a rather... sickly smell that assaults your senses when the door opens. The king himself answers, brows quirked in surprise.

"My king," you barely manage a curtsy. Erryk nods, "your grace."

Viserys regards you both then asks, "what brings you to my chambers at this hour?"

"I wanted to know if my sister was here," you absentmindedly rub your belly, "I wish to speak to her."

The king catches your belly, "oh, yes." He places a hand on your shoulder, "you are also with child," he chuckles, "I keep forgetting to congratulate you face to face."

You are taken aback by the half-hug he pulls you into.

Viserys chuckles as he pulls away, "well done, my dear. You have made the realm, and more importantly my brother, all the more richer for this."

You are rigid as he beckons you inside. Viserys motions to Erryk dismissively, and he nods. You wards gives you a silent look, and you know he'll wait for you outside.

Once you enter, you are assaulted by a scent that has clearly been attempted to be masked by fragrances. It makes you gag slightly, but it is not so bad that you cannot comport yourself.

You had expected to be lead to your sister, but instead, the king leads you to a massive diorama of what you could tell to be King's Landing.

"I am unsure where my wife is presently-"

His regard to your sister makes you clench your jaw.

"-but she visits me oft at this time of hour. Might as well show you my miniature figurines whilst waiting," he grins as he motions to the said object.

You feel an uncomfortable twinge in your stomach as you walk over to him.

Viserys immediately beams over his creation, recounting the trouble he had carving out the tower, exclaiming how much he enjoyed shaping the bridge. You have never seen him in such a light and it makes you wonder if this was his true self. Did he regard your husband this way? What were they like as children?

As he handed you two separate failed attempts of carving his fallen dragon, Balerion, you listen to him muse how the beast's skull was preserved in the basement bellow, and how he would gladly bring you there if you wanted to see. You groan and slightly lurch when another painful sensation ripples within you.

Viserys notices this. He quickly takes the figurines from you, "oh, where are my manners," he pulls a chair to your side, "sit, sit."

You gratefully take a seat and take a couple deep breathes as the king continues to drone about his diorama.

"You know, I used to make toy soldiers for Daemon growing up. I was aghast when he came back to me with severed heads."

You chuckle at his words, but instantly regret it when it adds to your pain.

"I still made him new ones, but this time, I put less effort and detail," Viserys speaks before noticing your reaction, "are you alright?"

"Mmm," you shake your head, "I think my babes are moving."

His brows quirk, "ah. That's right. You are expecting twins, are you not?"

You release a sigh when the uncomfortable sensations finally wane. You take a breath and offering a smile, "so says my maester. I hope it to be a boy and girl, like me and Gwayne."

He smiles, "it is quite fortunate that you and your sister are to have children at the same time," he looks over his miniature castle, "don't you think?"

"I think..." you turn to your belly, another groan leaving your lips, "Alicent is not ready to have children."

Viserys turns to you.

You look up at him and purse your lips, "nor am I."

He chuckles softly, "none of us are," he places a hand on your shoulder, "but I assure you, you learn as you go."

You find no comfort in his words.

"You know who has been ready though," he raises a finger, "Daemon."

The thought nearly makes you flinch.

He chuckles, "do not look so averted. There is gentleness in him," he turns back to his diorama, "do you not perceive it?"

You begin to feel sick.

"I tell you, when Rhaenyra was born, his face shone."

Your brows tighten at the smile the king offers you.

"I could tell as he held my child, he thought her the most precious thing in the worlds," Viserys face softens, "I could tell he wanted to have something precious to hold as his own," he absentmindedly examines a chisel, "the gods bless me with a wife who is going to birth me something precious," he turns to you, "and a good-sister who is going to birth my brother something doubly precious."

His words make your heart tinge. You are blindsided by how genuine, how vulnerable your conversation is. You wonder if Alicent saw this amidst the cruelty of the world and decided to settle for it rather than the uncertainty from another man. As he falls deeper into another fond tale of his brother, you feel a dull pain spread across your hips.

"That reminds me," he claps his hands, "do you have any names picked out yet?"

You shift uncomfortably in your chair, "well... I've-" you huff, "gone through some books that held Valyrian names," you inhale, "and found a few names for boys, namely Vaerus,—"

"Ah, Vaerus," Viserys repeats, "meaning genuine."

"Eadan—"

He grins and points, "little fire."

"—and Alaeric," you huff.

"Hmm," he turns to the ceiling in thought, "no, I don't know that one."

You are restless because of your pain. You groan as you stand, "I- mmm- prefer the last one the most because it is similar to my mother's name, and I should like to name my boy and girl after her."

He chuckles, "you seem quite set on a boy and a girl."

"Mmm," you hum uncomfortably, "I- I hope for it." You rub your belly, "I hope they have fondness for each other like me and mine own twin."

He knits his brows at your demeanor, "a son and a daughter would suit you well," he smiles fondly, "what was the name of your late mother again?"

"A-" you groan, "Alyrie."

Viserys finally reaches for you, "are you quite certain you're alright?"

You hum as you take the king's bicep, squeezing him tightly, "mmm, I should like to lie down now."

"Yes, of course," he shakes his head, leading you to the door.

Just before you can reach the entrance, a great pain forces you to lurch forward and yelp. You grip onto Viserys's arm for dear life and he grips you with hands. He thinks to grab the chair he pulled for you again, but as he looks back , his eyes widen at the trail of blood that leads to it. "GUARD! GUARD!"

You are in too much pain to react to the king's screams. You can only screw your eyes shut.

Erryk bursts through the doors, face white, heart racing.

"CALL THE MAESTER AT ONCE! SHE'S BLEEDING!"

Your eyes widen at the word, "bleeding?" You momentarily manage to gather enough wits to see what Viserys was speaking of.

Erryk does not linger in his horror. He bolts out and sprints down the halls, screaming for a maester as if his life depended on it because yours did.

The sight of your blood is mortifying. You lift your skirt as pain continues to seizes and a horrified noise leaves you when you find the red that pools by your foot.

It all happens at once after. An ache so great forces you to the floor. You are burning hot yet shivers run down your spine. You do not know if Viserys is speaking as you slowly crumple your knees but you do know that you are screaming loud.

Then it passes. Serenity ebbs and flows. You manage to sit on your but, but then it's back with a vengeance. You resist the squeal that morphs into to a shriek and then— you gasp, "no."

Viserys watches, the most powerful man in the Seven Kingdoms watches as you rip your skirt up and tear your ruined undergarments down, powerless.

Your scream makes his stomach curdle.

Your hands tremble as you reach for the two small bodies between your thighs. You bring them into your chest, uncaring of all else, how wet they are, how red stains you, how Viserys speaks your name. Your babes are are small; they are both far, far too small.

Anguish draws more noises from your throat. It doesn't take long until your voice is hoarse. You cannot keep your peace as you take in their tiny faces. You wipe them with your skirt, finding the silver of their brows and lashes. You also find the gods gave you a girl and a boy. You choke on a sob as you wipe the red away from their thin, white locks, "please wake for your mummy."

The words arrest Viserys. He recalls holding Baelon as life left him. He cherishes now more than ever that at least his boy gazed upon him once. He shares in your misery, yet does not know if how he should approach you; he does not know if he should. He does anyway, no matter how haunting the sound of your wails are.

You quiet momentarily as the man crouches beside you. Your lips wobble, "p-perhaps they'll wake up if you speak High Valyrian."

The thought is gutting.

You gently pull at one babe's eyelid, finding a violet eye looking back at you. Except it isn't looking at you at all and the thought makes you squall. You clutch your children tightly into your chest, rocking them back and forth, "forgive me, my loves. Forgive me for birthing you too soon."

Erryk finally arrives with the maesters. He is stunned in his spot whereas the maesters run to your side. He falls to his knees as lift your children up. They do not touch them, but instead look at each other before muttering something that makes you pull your twins back into your chest.

Your ward is ashamed to face you. He has failed you. Erryk comes to a stand and dares to come near you. You do not notice him. You do not care for anything or anyone else in this moment.

Crimson grief trails behind you as you make your way to the maester's ward. Erryk meant to carry you, but you refused, knowing the walk there would be the last time you'd ever get to hold your children. He silently walks beside you, eyeing your every move.

You freeze when you see your sister by the door. Erryk looks between the two of you, ready to give you space.

Alicent is distraught. Her eyes are nearly as red as yours and you can how her hands tremble even as she picks at them, "sister, I-"

"I wanted to talk to you earlier today."

Her face falls and she immediately runs up to you. She reaches for you but stops herself.

You frown at it, thinking it was because you had been cruel to her, "forgive me, sister."

She rapidly shakes her head, "do not even mention it."

A tear fog your vision, "very well," you sniffle as you lower your gaze, "would... would you like to see them?

She wordlessly agrees.

You step closer to her, "this is Alaeric... and Alyrie."

A hand comes to her mouth, "sister."

"They're perfect, are they not?"

She nods rapidly, "yes—" she shudders, "they are."

You sob with her as she brings her arms around you. Erryk cannot bare the sight. Hot tears run into his armor. Both him and Alicent stay with you as the maester's see to your health. They let you hold Alaeric and Alyrie until your examination commences, and then you confess that if they do not take them now, you will never let them be taken from you ever again.

You were exhausted as you lie in bed. Your body yearned for repose, but you could do nothing of the sort. You groggily stand and walk to your door.

Erryk starts. You caught him in the middle of scratching tears away from his eyes. You frown, "forgive me."

"No, princess," he shakes his head and turns to you, "how might I serve."

You bite your lip, hating yourself for what you were about to request, "I know it is terrible..." you sigh deeply, "I know it is inappropriate, and wrong, and an abuse of my power over you," you tremble, "but please you sleep with me."

"My princess, I-"

"Please," you raise a hand, "if it is too horrible, per- perhaps-" you hiccup, "you can drag the set— the settee beside my bed-"

He silences you by taking your raised hand. You continue to sob as he shakes his head, "I would do anything you ask of me."

You sob and throw your arms around him. Erryk embraces you back, though he was afraid his hard uniform might hurt you.

Otto sees this exchange from across the hall. He had not been moved to tears until this moment. He scratches his eyes before they fall and steels himself away as he walks off. He mentally takes note to observe the Cargyll brothers and to sternly remind them of their vows.

Erryk follows you to your bed. You crawl into your bed as he drags the settee from across the room beside you. You offer him a pillow and he gratefully take it. You knit your brows when he lies down. You sniffle, "will you not take your armor off?"

"I..." he start, about to explain it is inappropriate.

"Is it hard to remove by yourself?" you sit up, "I can help."

"I-" but his words go dry when you begin to undo his steel uniform with much ease.

All your years assisting Gwayne in and out of his armor has made the act come easy for you. You think nothing of it, but Erryk's heart races as you undo his chest plate. He sucks in a sharp breath as you put the metal down, then refuses your help, resigning to undo the rest himself.

You sink into your sheets as you watch your knight lay his armor down. It occurs to you in this moment that this was the first time you'd ever seen him without it. Even through his loose dress shirt, you can see his defined arms and torso. You even see a sliver of a scar from where his shirt opened on his chest and it makes you avert your gaze, knowing you've looked where you should not have.

Your lips begin to wobble as you think of Daemon and the scars he had on his skin. You feel pathetic as you begin to sob again.

Erryk hates the sound. He sits down on the settee and sniffles, "would you like me to sing for you?"

You wipe the snot on your philtrum as you look at him.

"I do not think I inherited her voice, but my mother used to sing to my brother and I when we were younger."

The word mother makes you feel sick, but you do not tell him that, and simply nod.

He clears his throat and takes a breath, "the fishes swim in seas of blue, and dragons breath fire so red. All the birds sing sweetly for you, so come rest ye darling wee head."

A chuckle is drawn amidst your tears as Erryk continues to sing.

"The apples grow up the trees, and flowers rise up from the ground. All the stars shine brightly for you, so come rest ye all safe and sound."

You ask him to repeat this song over and over and he humors you each time.

The day breaks and Arryk comes to your door for his shift. He holds a basket of flowers and a frown. He knocks on your door and announces himself. He is surprised when he hears footsteps approaching. His eyes widen when Erryk opens the door for him. His mouth falls at the messiness of his hair, then it clicks. Arryk nearly drops his basket as he grabs his twin by the collar, "what in seven hells have you done, you fool?"

Erryk is stoic as he responds, "my duty."

"Your-" he looks over his shoulder and pushes his brother into the room, closing the door behind him. Arryk makes sure to keep the silence and spares you a quick glance. The sight of your sleeping form makes him slightly soften, but he still manages to glare at his brother, "did you sleep here?"

Erryk turns to you, "she asked-"

"Did you sleep with her?" Arryk snaps.

The twins glare at each other. Erryk's face contorts in disgust, "I slept on the settee, brother. What do you take me fo-"

"I take you for a fool!" Arryk quips under his breath as he points an accusing finger.

Erryk scoffs, clenching his fist, "and you would have left?"

"I would have waited for her to sleep and resumed my post outsi-"

"Please."

The twins turn, finding you sitting on your bed, rubbing your puffy face. They both instinctively step forward and speak in unison, "princess."

"Please," you repeat, "I asked him to stay."

Arryk turns to Erryk.

"I do not want you to argue because-" you cannot continue because you begin to cry.

Both their faces fall, but Erryk wastes no time in coming to you. He kneels beside your bed and takes your hand, repeating the song he sang to you last night.

Arryk immediately recognizes the tune. His heart tightens as he watches the display. He mutters under his breath, "what have you done?" He walks over to him and watches the way you squeeze his brother's hand. He thinks of how you did the same for him just yesterday and clenches the basket's handle tightly. He begins to sing with his twin.

"The fishes swim in seas of blue, and dragons breath fire so red. All the birds sing sweetly for you, so come rest ye darling wee head.

The apples grow up the trees, and flowers rise up from the ground. All the stars shine brightly for you, so come rest ye all safe and sound."

These are the very words you sing to your sister's son.

Alicent was with child again, and you were giving her a much needed reprieve from her energetic boy who was now nearing his second name day. Aegon happily reached for flowers as you carried him through the gardens. He laughs with not a care in the world. It is strange how deeply happy and deeply sad the boy makes you feel.

Through it all, you smile as you sing. You bounce him in your hip once you finish, "right, shall we go back now?"

Aegon blissfully ignores you when his hand brushes against a flower. You pull him away before he can grab it, and push his hand down, "no, my love, we do not pick roses so carelessly."

Aegon cares little for your words and raises his hand again, "flower!"

You push his hand down and look at him, "you want the rose?" You adjust him in your arm, "you want to pick the rose for mummy?"

"Mummy?" Aegon repeats, turning to you to reach for your brown curls.

You chuckle when he tries to eat it and pull your hair away before he manages to, "silly boy. Shall we ask Ser Arryk to pick the flower for us?"

"Flower for mummy!" he bounces in your arms.

You bounce him back, making him giggle as you repeat, "flower for mummy!" You flip your hair back, "Ser Arryk, could you-"

Your mouth goes dry when you see Daemon staring back at you.

[devotion-disorder]

i have nothing to post but im itching to yap so here are random bits and pieces of DoL things™ and me yapping about them. ⚠️spoiler warning for kylar's manor and dog pound storylines⚠️ and also this is a longass post

so after 9000 years I finally got around to seeing the kylar's manor storyline because i heard there was real freaky cult shit going on (and also rare bailey content). I grinded the whitney alleyway encounters for so long (all of the events are apparently ordered so its not even rng) only to discover that I accepted the owl plushie so IT WASNT GOING TO WORK ANYWAYS

so i had to speedrun de-traumatizing robin then romancing them, which thankfully didnt take very long (sowwy wobin im usually too locked in on making money LMAO)

i think its just really funny that one of pc's method of escape is just. sending bailey an email. like can u fuckign imagine bailey getting an email thats like

Subject: EHLP Sender: [kylar's cringe email handle]

AUHXJKAUS HEEOLP BAILY IMSTUCK> IN SOME HAUNTED HOUOSE ON DABUBVE STREET I MADE MY KIDNAPPEDR MOW THE GRASS AND DANCE 4 ME BUT HES SO BAD HEELPPPP

and then he actually proceeded to believe the email and went to save pc im cryin.

i cannot believe he SNATCHED kylar mid-air LMAO????????

also,

WHAT THE FREAK JORDAN.........I WAS UNFAMILIAR WITH YOUR GAME.............................

i thought bailey would at least escort pc back home but he didnt(😔) but my pcs has already racked up so much stress i passed out immediately...which triggered the kylar's abduction event (💀💀💀💀) GOOD JOB BOZO

I also did the dog pound questline because im scavenging for any and all bits of bailey scenes, but atp my pc has S Skullduggery so i got in and got out of there in like. less than half a day

mainly i just wanna share this........oughhh what does it mean.............

speaking of bailey i also learnt that annoying him in his office is a great way to grind sadism so my pc has been waking up at 7am sharp every day to be a menace :)

I've been trying to unlock Mason's pond but I wasted most of the non-school days doing gacha for whitney alleyway events (see above) and ive never wanted there to be more rain than now

which also. I finally got one of whitney's favourite food recipes but IT JUST WONT RAIN SO I CANT GIVE IT TO HIM RAUGHHHHHH

I was going for both 'stressful challenge' feats so this has sadly been a very harperless run. though now that i think about it it's kind of a miracle i managed this despite the stimulant kidnapping questline.

i find that in late game when you inevitably accumulate more negative fame it gets kinda hard to get the 'stretcher to the hospital' outcome because noncon encounters will almost always "intercept" in a sense. i went 250 ish days without even seeing harper get mentioned lol

how did they make this flavor text even hotter.

[multifandom-nerds-blog]

Sakamoto Days 199!!!

They're so dumb and in sinc already. True father and son duo.

This page and the following panel. What does it all mean? That the JAA was already after Ando when Shin was a baby (and him?), before Ando dropped him of with Asakura? Although Shin does say that Ando is saying bullshit, we don't know what Shin means with that since we don't actually got to see what Ando was thinking about. (Except for trying to flee the country, which is already Andos plan.)

I do gotta add a theory I've had for a bit now. Which is that Shin was actually born with the powers, and that Asakuras chemistry simply activated them earlier than they would have otherwise. Don't know how likely that is though.

Ando points out the hypocrisy in telling someone who you can't kill while being an Assasin. Which is honestly fair, and Sakamoto doesn't even fight it, just asks where the bomb is. (And promptly goes to a straight attack.) And Shin does seem to know where the bomb is, like Taro points out later in the chap. Except maybe, could it be, that the bomb is just a bluff? Or Ando already figured out/knows that Shin can read minds after his reaction before (previous pic) and said something else? No idea. Again we are once not shown what Shin can read in Andos mind. Probably for a more emotional scene later, but who knows.

Sunglasses, Ikari, from the previous chapter attacks (with an anchor, of course, we are on a boat. Should have expected an anchor as a weapon, lmao.) And Taros instinct is already to just pick up Shin and run of with him in his arm. The fatherly instincts in him are to strong.

Meanwhile Shins trauma from being abandoned at a young age without any answers shines through strong. With, for now, the set believe that blood relation goes over anything. I can't tell if the panel of Taro is only him noticing Ikaris next attack, or if he's already thinking about what Shin is saying here. Never the less. He still immediately protects Shin, who at this point isn't a bystander, but still a kid and (for Taro at least) one that has got nothing to do with the job.

ALSO IKARI IS A CREEP. EWWWWW. GET AWAY FROM THE CHILD.

And while Taro is like constantly making sure that Shin doesn't die in all that chaos, ever since he meeting him, Ikari has no fucking issue to strangle (and assault because omg) a child. Just from the start of this flashback it's clear that Taro never liked killing when it wasn't neccesary, if at all. He saved him at first by just saying he would get rid of him infront of the thugs. He then keeps saving him over and over, even though Shin is a little shit and sends the shop owners after him. Telling him to either stay away from trouble in his way, "I'll be right back" - "don't get thrown overboard again" - from last chapter. (Even asking him if he's okay) I just really like this, seeing how despite the killing itself Taro always had something genuinly nice at him. Killing is work for him, nothing more. Not harming innocent bystanders isn't just a rule to follow, but something he deems right. Keeping a child safe in a fight, asking him "What's wrong?" and "you okay?" when the child looks sick? Even though he has obviously no idea how to act with a (traumatized) child?Just a natural instinct.

Between all that he even decides to apologise to Shin because he can't understand his feelings. He doesn't understand Shins internal struggles. However he's not just bursting out anymore that he's gonna kill Shins dad, because it made Shin upset before, and instead says that he's gonna keep the enemy busy and for Shin to escape. Again, telling him to get to safety. And In a way even telling him to just stay away from the underworld I think.

So in summary. Sakamoto Taro is an assassin here, killing is his job. But he so obviously believes that innocence exists. That other people are innocent. He also believes that you shouldn't harm children (after all children are supposed to be the most innocent). But Taro also doesn't see himself to ever be part of that. At least not yet I think.

[girl-lostconnection]

Now that I’m really thinking THOUGHTS on the clones idea, imagine the horror of being in your body except it ISN’T you. Every scar and injury you’ve ever taken, ever made yours is just gone now, your body lacks every bit of damage it’s ever taken so suddenly after you’ve gotten so adapted to your old appearance.

The body dysphoria of it all, especially if the clones are younger versions of you from when you first joined the helldivers. So not only do you lose the scars you worked so hard for, but also every bit of your age to the point where you look like a cadet again. Wouldn’t it be traumatic to see the person you once were? To see the version of you that’s so, SO, young and undamaged in every mirror/surface you pass instead of just occasionally seeing it in the cryo pods

Jesus, that’s some good horror right there. I read a post on here (can’t remember whose it was) that irl healing magic would be so fucking uncanny because you are a soldier with no scars. A soldier that looks so young but isn’t. A soldier who’s shiny and new and it even feels wrong because that’s not how it’s supposed to be.

Also, while writing previous snippet to your ask I thought about the Helldiver that approached 141, because yk I wrote that his fingers are scarred. So he does have scars. And then my mind came back to this ask of yours and I started to think about scars being kind of a sign of how old the Helldiver actually is? Because imagine if once in a while they need to make new copies of your body because command found out that apparently looking 18 again fucks too much with minds of Helldivers.

So what if every five years or so you’d need to make a new copy of the body you’ll be “reinforced” into? And this way at least some scars will get transferred.

So Helldivers are actually able to tell how old the Helldiver in front of them is if they can see the scars, kind of a professional thing for them. And yk the more scars Helldiver has the more it could signal to other divers that this one is not just old — they are good.

They survived each time, they got back without losing their body, without the need to get “reinforced” into their younger unscarred version.

[guzmawife]

1: he can definitely use chopsticks hes got some japanese background so ya

2: 😭 he probably has bug tracker apps or something. and regular phone games and socmed apps. he watches youtube a lot.

3: horror movies and animal documentaries

4:he sleeps on the right side but we switched for a little bit. he gets the right side bc when we lay together i cant see the tv comfortably if im on the right 😭😭 so i made him move.

5: mmmmeeeeeee….. ♡ (ɔˆз(ˆ⌣ˆc) ok and also food.

6: we be playing uno. he has a big ass family so uno gets hectic.

7: yes. he has a nice singing voice but he doesn’t do it often bc thats just not his thing. shrug emoji.

8: probably piss then check his phone. 😭 greet me (and the rest of his family) if im awake.

9: sometimes. he would try rlly hard to convince me and i don’t entertain his bs. like 🤦🏾 grown ass man. ultra wormhole done fucked him up.. idk exactly what he’d believe in but it’s probably something outlandish.

10: his fave dying. like FUCK cmon man you’re embarrassing me… mmcht… flips over popcorn bucket and makes a racket..

11: he likes baked goods smell. i hate food scent fragrances but he likes them. i use them just so they could finish faster. and bc he likes them… whatever.

12: he would say no when you ask him for things and two days later he comes and tosses it at you and leaves. guft giving.

13: his trophy from past trials, his partner pokemon but. thats not really a possession. jewelry ive given him. photos.

14: lots of energy drinks um um and he keeps a lot of water (for me). also some alcoholic drinks.

15: idk… i should ask him..

16: probably bragging to ppl about how he survived being in an ultra wormhole. even though that experience was traumatizing as shit for him but he jokes about it bc he can. or getting into fights and winning.

17: probably some stupid lingerie trying to entertain me. or if we’re talking about canon outfits probably his buzzwole special costume. its not that ridiculous to me i just think it looks a bit weird on his model.

18: yes 🙁 but theyre just trauma nightmares. my poor baby.. aug..

19: i think he likes battle royale or piers.

20: allergic to beans 👎🏾👎🏾👎🏾👎🏾😿😿😿

hyper specific f/o ask game !

🥢: can your f/o use chopsticks?

📱: what kind of apps does your f/o have on their phone?

📺: what does your f/o like to watch on cable television?

🛏: what side of the bed does your f/o sleep on?

☀️: what's something that instantly brightens your f/o's day?

🃏: does your f/o have favorite board game?

🚿: does your f/o sing in the shower?

🏠: what's the first thing your f/o does after waking up?

💵: does your f/o believe in conspiracy theories?

🎥: what would make your f/o walk out of a movie?

🌺: does your f/o favorite scent?

☕: how does your f/o show kindness to others?

🏆: does your f/o have any prized possessions?

🍆: what does your f/o's fridge typically look like?

🍀: if your f/o superstitious about anything?

📖: does your f/o have a favorite story about themselves?

👚: what is the most ridiculous outfit your f/o has even worn?

🌙: does your f/o have any reoccurring dreams?

📹: does your f/o ’stan' any celebrities?

🦠: does your f/o have any allergies?

remember to practice reblog karma everyone ⭐ !

proship DNI

[crescentmoonrider]

hakaba kitarou may be a horrible child, but he is my horrible child (gets dissolved in acid water)

[hanzajesthanza]

geralt is also a most real depiction of good quality fatherhood and great girldad representation because EVEN THOUGH witchers don’t even experience aging at the same rate as non-GMO humans, EVEN THOUGH it would be “biologically impossible,”

geralt having had been raising a pre-teen girl for maybe a few months to a year already “gave the impression of having aged,” his “face slashed by wrinkles.” the emotional toll on this man from raising she-devil ciri

and this is only the very beginning of the saga. BEFORE everything goes to shit. the wrinkles have set in

[al-luviec]

still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)

[quasi-normalcy]

Let's get into it:

I don't think we really know anything about the backstories of most of the TOS crew other than Kirk (genocide survivor; watched half his crew get killed by a Dikironium cloud creature), Spock (estranged from his family), and a tiny bit about McCoy (divorced, not that that's really "traumatic"). SNW later establishes that Uhura's parents died in a shuttle accident (I think they got that from the novels), but the rest of the crew is a blank slate in terms of backstory.

On TNG: Picard (shitty home life, abusive father, later elaborated on Picard's series into a literal gothic melodrama complete with suicidal mentally ill mom (ugh.)); Riker (mother died young, father was a dick, on his one from age 15); Data (planet destroyed by his brother; abandoned by creators; forgot his early life; went 26 years before he got his first friend. Not really traumatic though, on account no emotions); Worf (family annihilated by Romulans); Troi (domineering mother; dead father; dead older sister she never learned about until adulthood); Crusher (widow; parents killed in childhood; also that whole "generational alien sex ghost" thing we're not supposed to talk about). Geordi, though, explicitly had a good childhood (notwithstanding talk in the writers' room of retconning him to be a literal Rosemary's Baby)

On DS9: Sisko (watched his wife die at Wolf 359; that whole prophetic birth thing (ugh.)); Kira (child soldier during an attempted genocide); Bashir (basically rewritten by his own parents); Quark (everyone loves Moogie, but she is a pretty horrible mother); Odo (medical experiments); O'Brien (war-related PTSD); Dax (repressed serial killer memories); Garak (there's literally an entire novel about how shitty his childhood was)

On Voyager: Janeway (no trauma that I recall); Chakotay (ex-terrorist; I guess his home planet was taken over by Cardassians? They never really say); Torres (abandoned by her father; resentful of her mother; resentful of her own biology and cultural heritage); Paris (shitty father); Neelix (genocide survivor); Seven of Nine (holy shit, just everything that's ever happened to her). I can't recall Tuvok having had anything traumatic in his past, but I very much interpret "Meld" as showing that he's kind of a psychopath at heart and only a razor-thin veneer of logic prevents him from being a serial killer; Harry Kim had a happy childhood, notwithstanding an attempt to give him the "Rosemary's Baby" backstory that the writers had originally intended for Geordi (almost like even in the 90s, the writers couldn't think of how to develop characters without giving them trauma); Kes...had a childhood that lasted, like, a month or two, so it might not count

On Enterprise: Um...yeah, okay, I don't know this one as well. Archer's dad died before his ship could be built, which is...bad, I guess. T'Pol...um, I guess she went to that jazz club one time and it freaked her out. Reed's parents seemed awful in that very "upper-class British" way. Um... Yeah.

On DIS: Burnham's family was killed by Klingons, and then her school on Vulcan by blown up by terrorists, so, you know...trauma two-fer, I guess; Saru was from a species that was being systematically culled before puberty; Tilly's mom was neglectful; um. Book had an abusive dad; Adira saw their lover killed in front of their eyes; Owosekun was disowned by her luddite commune for joining Starfleet. Um. Airiam lost her husband and all her skin in a shuttle accident; Bryce (or maybe Rhys? I don't remember) was in a hurricane as a child; Rayner's planet was occupied by the Breen; probably some of the other bridge bunnies exposited trauma at some point during the fourth season, I don't remember

On Picard: Hoo-boy. Raffi was right about the attack on Mars, but lost her family and developed a drug problem because of her obsessive conspiracy theorizing; Rios had his father figure enact an illegal order and then kill himself in front of him; Elnor had his father figure abandon him (what the fuck, Jean-Luc); Soji's entire life was a lie, except her twin sister (who was killed); Jurati...actually seemed to have a pretty good childhood, but made up for it by having an incredibly traumatic present; Shaw has oodles of survivors guilt over Wolf 359; Jack Crusher, Jr....doesn't actually seem to have had anything particularly bad ever happen to him, but still acts entitled to run around with a giant chip on his shoulder (god I hate him); and then there's added trauma for established characters, like: Picard left Starfleet and bears the weight of the Romulan supernova; Troi and Riker lost their son because of the synth ban (and then, according to season 3, Troi telepathically suppressed Riker's ability to mourn (ugh.)); Seven of Nine was betrayed by her lover and had to mercy kill her adopted son; Crusher...got pregnant and randomly decided that her traumatic backstory was so overwhelming that she simply had no other choice but to keep her son from his father and ghost all of her friends (ugh! ugh! ugh!); something is implied to have happened to Worf, but they never said; Geordi...still doesn't really seem to have a lot of trauma, though the official tie-in materials say that he was in charge of Utopia Planitia when it got bombed. [Okay, so maybe there's a bit too much trauma on this series.]

Lower Decks: Mariner lost her best friend; Rutherford had his entire life deleted by an evil admiral; Shaxs has so much PTSD from the resistance that he'll go spare on anyone who even mentions Bajor; Billups has a shitty mother who keeps trying to trick him into have sex; um...that's kind of it.

Prodigy: They're all child slaves, first of all. On top of this, Dal was sold by his other mother figure (and doesn't even have parents); Rok (had to play the monster in an arena as a small child); Zero (separated from their hivemind; Jankom was an orphan sent off on a sleeper ship; and then woke up before everyone else and had to ditch the sleeper ship; Gwyn was raised to be a weapon by a cruel, domineering father. Murf seems to radiate peace, though.

Strange New Worlds: Pike knows his future is kind of crappy; Una lived her entire life hiding what she was; La'an was bullied for her family connections, and then had her family ate by Gorns; M'Benga, Chapel, and Ortegas have war trauma; and then there's the previously mentioned stuff with Spock and Uhura.

So yeah; going through it, I think that the only clear outliers in terms of trauma are Picard (way too much of it) and Enterprise (not enough).

#1214

Why lit of character in Star Trek Discovery and Star Trek Strange New World have mostly all a traumatic past? Next step: how to make an interesting character without a traumatic childhood or a traumatic past?

[runningatypufullspeed]

I AM BEING FORCED TO ROLEPLAY AS SCYTHE FUCKING GODDARD FOR MY SCHOOLA SISIGNMRNT CAN SOMEONE END ME PLEASE END ME NOW

[infizero]

the more i learn about pico's history the funnier his presence in fnf is to me. like he really is this iconic character, reincarnated in this game just to be bf's loser bad boy ex

[cosmicswritings]

while megatron is a natural carrier and has carried many times in his life, starscream isn't, has never carried and it's not something he can naturally do, even though he wants to do it. in a lot of my aus, esp my tfp aus, the two of them run into a lot of trouble when they get together regarding starscream and carrying. it's weird to him because seekers don't ever carry, they are great sires- he's carried with seekers before during the war and even a bit after. And like all seekers, megatron just realizes starscream can't carry naturally, but it's still a desire of his and while megatron has only ever carried, he doesn't mind siring for starscream just because of how close they are. or at least, attempting to. starscream has to get a lot of procedures done to do it, many failed and unsuccessful. It's a first for siring for megatron too but he wants to do it with starscream.

the point of this little fic and running au of mine is that, while starscream has so many difficulties carrying, megatron is there for him. with every failed procedure and how depressed starscream is, he tells starscream about his own experiences to make him feel better. starscream eventually asks about it, how it feels, what it's like, emergence, etc. and when things don't work for starscream the first few times, megatron is always there to encourage him, and he convinces starscream not to give up.

eventually, things do work out and starscream is able to carry multiple times, but starscream enjoys hearing a lot about megatron's experiences. Starscream also listens carefully to what Megatron says about his past. He had many relationships where he was happy with his partners, and he carried and he and those sparklings are in close contact, but there are some more somber stories, where Megatron's sparklings were taken away from him when he was in the mines, where he was only used as property to produce more miners and he's lost those sparklings. Or where shortly after he had his sparklings, his partners took them from him no trusting him to be a good carrier (during the war)

Obviously, Starscream takes it upon himself to track down megatron's missing children, the ones he's lost contact with, the ones he doesn't know, etc. This isn't something unique to my tfp stories, where this au started. In most of my fics, Starscream goes looking for all the children taken from Megatron while he was carrying.

But the gist of this is that, Starscream has a lot of issues and difficulties with carrying because seekers aren't built for it, but megatron is always there to help him and make him feel like less of a failure and also help him after his emergances, because it's incredibly difficult for starscream.

[scatterpatter]

I HAVEN'T DRAWN MY LIL EDGY BOY IN SO LONG... I MISSED HIM...

alt version with less effects under the cut!