#also pretty certain leonard would love it

[muirmarie]

spock with memory loss but not emotional memory loss. he can't remember anything since he left vulcan, but he looks at jim's and leonard's faces and he's like. hmm. i appear to be in love with both of these men. fascinating.

except. y'know. they are absolutely NOT together.

[hi hey have some absolute crack underneath the readmore]

mccoy being a ridiculous mother hen in sickbay and kirk running down from the bridge every hour on the hour all "UPDATE, BONES????" is not. is not helping spock's assumptions.

mccoy GRUDGINGLY allowing spock out of sickbay because lord knows there's some big thing happening and they need the beds, and spock doesn't need immediate medical attention, he just needs, y'know, a cure for the weird memory loss disease he's picked up. you heard me, this isn't amnesia, this is a weird space memory loss disease that mccoy is going to CURE, thank you very much.

he only allows spock out of sickbay if kirk keeps an eye on him. spock's like =/ when will you be joining us, doctor? and mccoy, not nearly as suspicious as he should be because he's so delighted that there's for ONCE a version of spock who actually appears to not be running away from medical, is like !!!!! once i'm sure everyone in sickbay is stable i'll come down to check on you!!!! i'll check on jim too!!! i'll run my scanner over everyone who will allow me to make sure they're okay!!!!! (jim: >=| i did not consent to this. bones: shut up idc i'm already scanning you.)

kirk takes spock back to kirk's quarters figuring they'll bunk together so he can keep an eye on him/make sure the space forgetfulness disease doesn't make him forget anything else.

spock's like. hmm. is this where we live? why don't we keep it warmer for me =/

kirk, oblivious doll that he is, is like yeah, all the quarters are like this, this is indeed where we live! isn't the enterprise the most beautiful ship there is!! also i am so sorry let's crank this place up to a sauna asap

meanwhile spock is sleepy what with the space forgetty sickness but he's like. determined to wait until their bf joins them so they can sleep in a cuddle pile. it seems polite. he's pretty sure he'd be a polite bf. amanda would definitely want him to be a polite bf. plus he feels certain that he needs to make sure the doctor gets some sleep after working non-stop in sickbay. like. that feels like that should somehow be his and jim's responsibility. that feels right.

bones shows up two hours later with his tricorder and even darker circles under his eyes than normal, and is like all right, time to check on my favorite patient <3 (he's still not used to spock not snarking back at him, and is more than a little =/ when spock just sparkles a bit instead of slamming him with an insult, tbh)

spock and jim get a clean bill of health (beyond, y'know, the space-nesia), and mccoy's like, all rightie, i'll be back in the morning to check on you!!! tell me immediately if anything changes!! i should go back to sickbay and check on things

spock: =( what.

mccoy: i need to keep an eye on everything in sickbay

kirk: no he's right you need to get some rest, bones. the on-duty staff will keep an eye on everything, but you've been going non-stop between spock and this new thing

mccoy: i'll grab a nap in my office don't worry

spock: =(((((((

mccoy: ...spock why are you holding onto my wrist. spock why are you - spock why are you dragging me over to the bed. spock - jim why are you laughing

kirk: i mean it is an effective solution

spock: i have the space forgetties and i can't even sleep with my boyfriends????? illogical.

mccoy: ......

kirk: hmm.

mccoy: ????? hmm???? HMMM???? IS THAT ALL YOU GOT????

kirk: i mean, it does sound illogical when he puts it like that

mccoy: ????? i don't know what the two of you have going on on the downlow, but i'm not dating spock. spock, i'm not dating you.

spock: no, no i definitely love you both, so it would be extremely illogical for us not to be dating, and i am, above all else, logical, so ipso facto we must be dating. it's far more likely you just don't want to say we're dating because you'd feel like it would be a shock to my blank slate brain. occam's razor.

mccoy: we're - we're definitely not dating

spock: hmmm jim i am worried that leonard may also have the space forgetty disease.

kirk: bones, just sleep here tonight, it's not a big deal

mccoy, slightly strangled, because he is extremely in love with these two men and this is a bizarre situation even for them: JIM, I -

spock, aggressively laying in the center of the bed and then trapping mccoy next to him by sheer strength and mccoy's surprise, and unfortunately, having pegged mccoy within 5 minutes of meeting him again, saying: what if the space forgetty disease makes me worse during the night and my doctor bf isn't even here to help me =/

kirk: [unhelpfully giggling]

mccoy: gdi why would you say that now you know i can't leave - this isn't you winning this is me GRACEFULLY changing my mind and we are NOT dating and if you use this forced snuggling against me when i ONCE MORE SAVE THE DAY and figure out a CURE to FIX your STUPID VULCAN MIND then i will -

kirk: [leaning over and kissing bones' forehead to shut him up and then walking around the other side of the bed and getting in next to spock] you forgot the key word, there, bones

mccoy, visibly restraining himself from frothing with rage: what.

kirk: yet, bones. we're not dating yet.

[horseforeplay]

So I’m very autistic about music and I loved how succession made Kendall’s music taste have so much character and be so accurate to who he is and who he thinks he is, which made me start thinking about the other siblings listening to music. I just cannot imagine it. I can’t imagine Roman putting on his little AirPod and opening up a Spotify playlist or putting on posters in his room for a certain thing. The idea of shiv being into drill and grime is extremely funny to me. I think connor tells Alexa to put on slow old Spanish ballads blasting (at an appropriate volume) through every floor of his desert house and Willa wears noise cancelling headphones constantly. I just can’t decide if Roman has an obscenely normal man music taste (like what plays in gyms) or if he actually cares about music. And then I listened to horse foreplay again and I need to make a playlist for it so basically: what do you think Roman would listen to?

incredible message. oh man. for one, connor genuinely seems like a music lover because that’s in line with his situation being the only sibling to genuinely enjoy the spoils of wealth and just stuff generally. he also has that fleetwood mac line at tom’s bachelor party, and famously karaokes a fucking leonard cohen song. love him.

kendall’s music taste is central to his character, we all know what ken’s taste is (or at least i think we do, i have seen some very funny “ken listens to this” mixes. they should resemble the intern-curated obama end-of-year picks LOL). shiv i have no idea about, but i wouldn’t be surprised if she had some appreciation for whatever dad liked if dad ever bothered to point something out. i don’t think she listens to florence + the machine though be serious you guys just see a girl with red hair…………….

my personal read on roman’s whole Deal is that he has the least “life of his own” of the siblings. even his reputation / the rumors about him (that he’s a playboy who loves coke) are the least accurate to his actual behavior and preferences (esp when contrasted with ken’s public takedowns which hurt his feelings precisely Because they’re often true). it’s difficult for me to imagine roman having strong personal taste in….. pretty much anything, even when he sees his choices symbolically (“i want steak” speech in america decides). in the end, roman is most interested in cultivating an image of himself that is going to be the most protective of his true desire for authenticity and connection, but we know that he has no idea what to do with himself when he is confronted with an opportunity to actually “express himself”.

all this to say, it is very difficult for me to imagine roman sincerely enjoying music/art without a level of detachment, irony, or jokey judgement. if he likes certain sounds, i couldn’t see him singing along like kendall in the backseat. maybe a handful of songs are nostalgic for him, maybe some post-hardcore (…. fugazi….. honestly……) or even MAYBE some britpop or eurodance from the european half of his childhood. he wouldn’t allow himself true sentimentality with it though. he certainly knows all of the lyrics to a few songs bc he’s very In the World, esp culturally impactful songs, but he just seems like a guy who fucking hates bohemian raphsody. he knows who the pinball wizard is but i can viscerally feel his frown at hearing the baba o’reilly opener in a shop. he simply would never admit to loving a band, let alone buy a t-shirt! (i think i get a little annoyed generally with assumptions about roman that cast him as even a little bit twee just because he’s silly. look at how he actually dresses. this man would not paint his nails or have a charm on his phone. you’re thinking of kieran culkin!)

anyway this is my fav horse foreplay fanmix by @gotouda just bc it’s bursting with songs that are simply About Romtom. full of stuff me a young millennial gay person listens to so i play it a lot lol. there’s also an unsettled/upsetting undercurrent to some of these choices that matches the tone of the fic PRECISELY!!!! i have no idea how someone would go about building a mix based on romtom AND character taste just bc it is nigh impossible for me to picture roman roy listening to a song BECAUSE it reminds him of tom.

tom on the other hand…………….. that’s elton john, that’s ABBA, that’s broadway original cast recording, that’s george michael, that’s adele. ok

[reslari]

Alright, gonna take a stab at making sense of Certain SOTE things, because like it or not, this is the lore we have, so we gotta figure out what pieces fit where.

Assumption: Miquella speaking of the "vow" in plural, and the item from Freyja's questline pretty well contextualize that it was a mutual agreement. Miquella proposed it, Radahn agreed initially.

Lore Question: Why did Radahn agree in the first place?

Hypothesis: What we know about Radahn is characterized by a love of battle, an admiration of Godfrey and Radagon, and an allegience to the Golden Order. He is a quintessential warrior character - a warlord, even. Yet, there is more nuance to that: An affinity for gravity magic implies a sharp mind so he is not all brawn and no brain, and going to the lengths he went to preserve Leonard implies a nurturing side.

I think the former points are why he would agree to be consort, and the latter are why Miquella asked in the first place, and I think that schism brought up conflict.

If Miquella was poised to be the God-Heir Apparent of the Lands Between, then by becoming his Consort, Radahn would be poised to end up just like the two men he admired most in the world: The Elden Lord. Why wouldn't someone want that sort of position of honor? More than that, it seems like he was asked - he didn't even need to pursue such a goal - so saying a "yes" was fairly easy. No mind control required.

In Radahn, Miquella saw that nurturing side; things that likely reminded him of Radagon. Considering Miquella had a good relationship with Radagon, at least for some time, and Radagon was Miquella's frame of reference for what a "king" should be, it's sort of natural that the places where Radahn and Radagon overlap would catch the younger Miquella's attention. Even if it was partially because Radagon was also Radahn's father.

Now, it seems like this promise was made in secret. If many people knew about it, then I doubt Freyja would've had to go searching so hard for it, and it probably would've come up way more often in lore. An arranged marriage between demigods (and with an Empyrean) would be kind of a big deal; it would be the talk of Leyndell. Yet, it would also probably threaten Queen Marika, and what her vengeful self would do if she caught wind that Miquella was going through the preliminary steps to become a god would be Bad, so not mentioning it to anyone is honestly probably for the best, actually.

What's a little secret between brothers?

Lore Question 2: Why did Radahn back out?

I have a few thoughts for this:

1) Miquella does not age or mature. Because he is kept in a sort of youthful, unchanging stasis, maybe it started to look like he would never really "grow into" becoming a god. It was a non-starter because he could never actually mature into anything than the child he was. If your god doesn't become a god, then you don't become Elden Lord, and that was all a waste of time. (Radahn holding the stars back also likely contributed to the stagnation, but he wasn't going to give that up.)

2) Miquella abandoned the Golden Order. We know Radahn's campaign against the stars was done partially on orders from the Golden Order. We know he was a loyalist. Miquella abandoning it meant that when he became a god, it wasn't because he was going to be the heir of the Golden Order, nor was he going to make Golden Order 2.0: he was going to make his own thing, and that wasn't appealing to Radahn, who just wanted to live within the Golden Order.

3) Miquella wanted to build a "kind world" or a "kinder world". A world in which everyone is forced to get along isn't one in which a career soldier can thrive: No conflict, no war. No chance for honor and glory on the battlefield. Radahn can't live up to Radagon's legend, let alone Godfrey's, if there isn't anything for him to battle. And maybe, in that obsolescence, he'd be cast out, the same as Godfrey. He probably doesn't want to be THAT much like Godfrey - he wants to live the good parts of the legend, not the bad.

So yeah, I can see those, and maybe other reasons I'm not thinking of coalescing together and painting a picture for why Radahn didn't actually want to go through with it. Radahn is, of course, well within his rights to say actually, this isn't going to get me what I want, so I'm not going to do it.

Yet Miquella, a young prodigy with an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex didn't want to let him go so easily. Miquella, who famously has not actually fixed anything ever in his own life, decided he wanted to try to fix this.

Instead, Radahn walked out.

Miquella must have felt devastated, desperate, heartbroken. You PROMISED, Radahn! You promised!!

Lore Question: So what was the Battle of Aeonia?

Let me preface this: Malenia is the Blade of Miquella. I don't think enough people read enough low fantasy to take this seriously: When someone is the "blade" of someone else, they are calling themselves a tool. An object. A thing to be used to enact their masters' will. They sublimate their own feelings, opinions, and wants, in service to another. The only agency they have - and sometimes even that is questionable - is in whether they choose to serve someone. To that end: It does not actually matter if Malenia was mind controlled by Miquella. She would have been oath and honor-bound to enact his will, no matter what she thought of it. No matter how dangerous it was for her. No matter what she had to do.

Now, death in the Lands Between seems to work in one of two ways: Death where the souls and bodies are just recycled through the Erdtree and spit back out, and Destined Death, which is a one-and-done sort of deal. The former means the person is salvagable and will resurrect eventually, the other puts them beyond the reach of the Erdtree and any known systems at all. This relates to one reason Godwyn was never actually a viable option: but put a pin in that, and I'll come back to it.

But the resurrection form of death isn't really called death in the Lands Between. At least, it's not associated with that much gravitas. In Dark Souls, the humans do a similar thing: Since they're functionally immortal, they can, for instance, turn a wedding ceremony into a ritual sacrifice. Y'know, the whole Anri thing.

So killing Radahn isn't that serious of a thing, as long as Destined Death isn't involved. He'll be back. I don't know if it was the original intention to kill him, but I don't actually think it was. I think that came later.

Maybe by being defeated in combat, he would start to take Miquella seriously. Or maybe Miquella did want the chance to get the mind control hooks into him, but that seems too straightforward for a FromSoft game. I want to explore the former option:

Except Malenia, who is an extension of Miquella's will REGARDLESS of any paranormal influence Miquella might have had on her, was unable to beat Radahn. She was unable to get him to back down, submit, and/or actually uphold his part of the vow. So she cast aside her pride (quite literally, I love you Millicent), and gave into her own god's power. She is under orders; Miquella wanted Radahn, and she will deliver him in whatever form she can. If he dies, then his soul can be pulled out of the Erdtree, no harm, no foul.

This SHOULD have killed Radahn, but, again, not a Destined Death-death, so he would come back. And, having been killed (and thus defeated), could be told he was honor-bound to uphold his end of the vow upon his revival. Maybe with some newfound respect: Miquella is enough to become a god. He has the love of his men, a powerful blade, and a will to become the ruler he was born to be. If he still refused, well, Miquella still has that compulsion to him. He can still force it.

But Radahn's great rune saved him. Or, to be most precise, it cursed him to a fate worse than death. His rune is burning, after all, trying to stave off the rot. So instead of a... messy but functional death, he has to suffer a slow, painful degradation of his mind and body that leaves him naught but a howling animal in the dunes. Very much alive, and very much too incoherent to uphold any kind of vow.

Now this seems to be happening at about the same time that Miquella decides to put himself in the womb of the Haligtree. He seems, with this, to be trying to mature into an adult. This makes the plan simple: Prove to Radahn that he is going to be a mighty god, AND age himself to show that he is capable of growing up into a god.

Yet with the battle concluded, Miquella has failed yet again. And with Malenia out of commission, he has nothing and nobody to try to further Plan B. The leftover Cleanrot Knights can't beat Radahn, the Haligtree soldiers can't beat Radahn, Radahn's own men can't beat Radahn, he's just this ridiculously powerful being that's basically now untouchable. Until the Tarnished comes along, but that's in the future; there's no way for Miquella to know when or even if Marika's going to call the Tarnished back.

So Miquella needs another plan. Or at least to enact a backup plan. Enter, an Omen with a thirst for power, and a desire to build his own dynasty - a castaway yearning for love and acceptance for who - and what - he is. Who made contact with an outer god, but since he was not an Empyrean, could not be the vessel for it. He just needs a little... push. To turn that ambition into obsession.

Sorry, Mohg, but the Empyreans are playing on another field entirely. What's one cast-away son no one knows existed otherwise? Minor sacrifices must be made, as the doubts in Miquella's heart begin to fester, and push him in increasingly desperate directions. He's running out of options.

He just needs to become God, and he can fix all of this, he says, with the simplistic resolve of a child playing with dolls. All the world's problems are so easy to solve, he just needs the power to do it.

Lore Question: So why not Godwyn?

Hypothesis: This isn't even subtext, this is just plain obvious from the game. Maybe in an earlier iteration of the story it might be possible, but as soon as they wrote Godwyn into being the Prince of Death, it was over.

First of all: The statues in the Haligtree being Godwyn are based on entirely speculation. It's a popular fan theory, but only that. There are no references to them in items, nothing internally or externally in the game to tell you what they are. FromSoft put them in the game, and giggled softly as they made the "zippering shut" motion over their lips.

The popular theory of it being Godwyn mostly comes from the fact that Miquella refers positively to Godwyn, and was even willing to go to great lengths to help him out. This is the best theory we had at the time, but that's as solid as it gets. But if "Miquella speaks of the person in high regard" is the only basis for what the statues are, then we might as well say the statues are just as likely to be Radagon, protecting and loving his children. Someone on twitter even posited that it was Ranni, the raised arm and robe "shielding" her younger Empyrean siblings from the horrors of being an Empyrean in the first place, since she knows well how awful it is.

Now that we have the DLC, those statues could very easily now be Radahn. Not as Radahn is, but the ideal Radahn that Miquella saw and made a vow with.

No one but FromSoft knows what they were meant to represent; but what they are not is unambiguously Godwyn.

So remember the discussion about death vs. Destined Death? We know when Ranni perpetrated the Night of the Black Knives, she killed her body, and Godwyn's soul. That means both of those things are Dead-dead. Temporal incursion dead. Basically, so far out of reach of resurrection that it's impossible, so they functionally might as well not exist. But it was just her BODY, and Godwyn's SOUL.

Her soul lives.

And so does Godwyn's body.

Godwyn is functionally a tumor. I believe the Japanese descriptions of the Prince of Death's cyst and pustule both make direct references to cancer, in fact. Cancer is cell growth with damaged DNA that no longer has a termination peptide in it, and no limit to replication anymore. Immortal cells, basically, that rapidly reproduce. Fall down a wiki hole sometime about how cancer metastasises, and it will give you the creepiest, uncanny feeling that cancer actually has a will of its own.

But even without knowing the weird ways cancer can grow and spread, just knowing that it does spread explains a lot about Godwyn, and the Deathroot, and even why it would show up somewhere like Farum Azula. Because you only need a little bit of the cancer cells to "break away" or... be transported... from one place to another in order for a second tumor to start to grow. All that's needed afterward is a source of vitality. Since the broken-away tumor also has the DNA of the original tumor, as well, it is. Well. The same being. A clone at worst, but literally a shucked-off part of the body that keeps living, and is still its root being at the same time it is separate from it.

Kinda like Trina and Radagon, now that I think about it.

Still, every time you see the giant clam-face, every time you see the deathroots, those are all Godwyn. So Godwyn's body is not just the giant, unmoving merman thing in Deeproot Depths, it is functionally in every corner of the Lands Between, and a few places outside it. And it's still growing, still living, still replicating.

Now, try to put Radahn's soul into that.

Where would you even begin?

More than that, could you do it? Since Godwyn's body is still alive? And if you did... what's to say that it wouldn't just be Radahn in a giant, immobile fish body, genetically glued into the roots of the Erdtree, and spreading everywhere else? How could he be a King, how could he be a warrior if he's immobile, and buried?

Miquella wants a functional king. If he's modeling it off what he knows, then Radagon was able to mingle among the people, to fight wars, to be present in the lives of the court. He wouldn't get that with Godwyn's body, even if it was as simple as sticking a new soul in a still-living body that spans the entirety of the Lands Between, which I sincerely doubt it is.

No, Godwyn was never an option.

But a more normal dead body? One whose soul has only recently fled? That was otherwise whole and hale? That could be useful.

"What are you doing? This is not right," says St. Trina inside Miquella's head. She's starting to get annoying. Doesn't she understand he just needs to get this one thing done?

Oh, and look at that.

The Tarnished have returned.

Conclusion: I like it. I think it's kind of funny, actually. It's not what I was expecting - I do agree that at least like. One. Item in the base game could have legitimately alluded to some connection here, because I absolutely can see how this feels like a sucker punch to people who had two years to set their lore assumptions in stone. But as it's presented in the DLC... it's fine. I can make sense of it. It's sufficiently doomed and tragic: Miquella didn't become the god he could have, he became the god Radahn wanted. And becoming god at all required a sacrifice that removed all the reasons he would've been a good god to begin with.

My biggest qualm with the ending is this: I think if you get your heart stolen by Miquella, it should trigger an ending. Thus, most players will probably get the "bad end" where you end up a subordinate of Miquella's reign, forcing them to use either the Great Rune he cast aside, or to just not get grabbed to get the "good" ending. Please, FromSoft, it was a perfect opportunity!!!

Now this doesn't account for absolutely everything, and maybe an item will be discovered somewhere in the DLC that bucks all of it, but this makes the most sense to me, and based on some other readings, it seems to align with other people. Miquella is far from a perfectly innocent being in all of this, but he's not some purely evil mastermind either. He's a kid, trying to fix a deeply broken world like he's playing with dolls, without the capability of regard for how real lives are affected in a nuanced way.

Just trust him! He'll become a god, and- and all of this will be better!

("No," whispers Saint Trina, sleepily, where she was cast off. Now, where Miquella cannot hear her. "No, godhood will be your prison.")

[unpopularvivian]

My Ttte Designs (Toby):

Headcanons:

Shy, gentle, nervous but wise and extremely caring towards others. Is one of Sodor's oldest but finest engines.

He and Henrietta are married for 30 years while he and Edward are married for 10 years.

Disrespect one of his loved ones, especially if it's Henrietta, and he'll sent you to your grave.

Has a super close bond with the humans of Sodor and sees them as this one, big, loving family.

Even though he's prone to panic in certain situations, he has the patience of a god and is very good at handling emotional problems. His compassion and empathy makes him very popular with engines and Sudrians.

Loves jazz, romantic music and electro swing.

Is the Harold Hutchins to Gordon's George Beard and they're best friends because I said so. He acts like the heart of the duo while Gordon acts like the brains. These two will do anything from becoming wingmen for each other to trying to figure how to use the internet.

He doesn't have too many people that he hates but if you manage to be one of those people; Then congrats! You're officially one of the worst people to ever live on earth!

Bisexual and transgender (Ftm). Has top surgery and his scars are kinda faded. Scars are double incision and are curved. (I swear, if ya'll are ever drawing him shirtless and you incorrectly draw his top surgery scars, I am going to break into your house and break all of your limbs-)

Street-stupid as fuck and doesn't understand modern society that well.

Has PTSD, depression and separation anxiety. Extremely fast-moving water, great heights and loud sounds all give him shivers down to his spine because they're all part of events that he used to be in. Sometimes, he feels disconnected to the rest of the world and doesn't have any motivation to do anything. And about his separation anxiety? Try separating Henrietta from him and he'll be missing her instantly.

Loves to bake and cook food. Is a god at it. (Unlike Edward-)

Has 4 adopted children: Mavis, Percy, Phillip and Pluto.

I like to imagine that he used to have a stupid long ahoge that he unfortunately lost during his younger years. It hasn't grown back ever since. RIP random ahoge, we'll miss you. 😞

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair-"

PRIVATE HE'S AFRAID OF COCKROACHES!!!!!

(USING SHE/HER AND THE NAME "TABITHA" FOR THE NEXT FEW HEADCANONS. TW: MENTIONS OF DEADNAMING, TRANSPHOBIA, HOMOPHOBIA AND DEATH)

When Tabitha was first built, she was devilish, tomboyish daredevil who took over the quaint little world that she lived in by storm. She had two older brothers who she bonded quickly. Tom, who was the middle child and was fun-loving and Leonard, who was the oldest and acted as the voice of reason and discipline.

In her old tramway that was located nearby on a pretty little coastline, Tabitha met two tramway coaches named Henrietta and Hannah. She got along quite well with Hannah due to their chaotic personalities but butted heads with Henrietta because of her more reserved demeanor. (What Tabitha doesn't know that she's going to get married to Henrietta someday hehehoho)

However, Roger, a very bratty and absolutely shit tram engine bullied the two all lot. (Ya'll probably who I'm talking about) And not only was he spoiled and jerkish, he was also extremely transphobic and homophobic towards Tabitha, often calling her many slurs and derogatory nicknames. But the haughty steam tram would soon meet his end when he was crushed to death. What the others didn't know that things would be way worse....

During a cheerful and calm day, Tabitha was working with her two brothers as usual along with Henrietta. Out of nowhere, a large boom filled the air with terror and doom as an disheveled old man, wearing shattered goggles, was driving a gigantic tank as cannons were blasting everywhere, destroying trucks and houses. Leonard immediately took his then-sister's hand and started sprinting towards the other direction with Tom and Henrietta following in hot pursuit.

Bullets sliced through the smoky air as the screams of dying people and engines filled the atmosphere with dread and hopelessness and just as the crazy old man was about to shoot Tabitha, Tom suddenly went in front of her, surprising the lunatic and causing him to miss and have the bullet hit the ground instead. But, the bullet ended up ricocheting a piece of shrapnel straight towards Tom's face and pierced straight through his eye, killing him instantly.

And went the young tram thought that the worse has been over, a shriek of pain echoed through the sky as Henrietta dragged Tabitha to a safe place. Turns out that Leonard had acid poured on his face by the old driver for refusing to let him kill Tabitha.

The next day was the funeral for Tom and Leonard, the sky was a cloudy grey as rain poured onto the ground like bricks hitting pavement. Nobody make a sound except for the anguished cries of Tabitha for she just lost the people that she loved the most. Ever since, the poor tram hasn't been the same.

(TOBY, IN HIS AWKWARD TRANSITONAL PHASE)

Started using he/him and the name "Tobias" that Leonard give to him. Shortened it to "Toby" because he didn't like being called by his full name.

Wore awkward brown suspenders, a white buttoned up shirt and had shiny black loafers. (Man, he was really wearing the loser fit wasn't he) Later got a fuzzy homemade oak-colored sweater made by Henrietta for him as a gift when he worked on his own little tramway.

Easily scared, very jumpy, frightened and extremely shy toward others. Only communicated in whispers. (Not too unlike to his wimpy CGI persona!)

Was pretty neutral on liking flowers but ended up loving one of them, roses, after Henrietta put one on his head during one of their dates.

You thought that Edward was his bisexual awakening? Ha! Edward was only his bisexual REAWAKENING. His actual first bisexual awakening was when he met a fellow blue lorry whose name was Alec. Unlike the rest of the lorries and trucks that were assholes, Alec was mild-mannered and polite and had a pleasant conversation with Toby, who the latter caught feelings for him. However, because homophobia was at a dangerously high stake during that time, Toby had extreme feelings of internalized homophobia and avoided Alec when ever he could. (Poor him, it looks that Toby couldn't catch a break)

Toby and Henrietta literally got married when Toby tried to propose her but failed horribly, only to find out that Henrietta was also going to propose to him as well.

His bond between his driver and firewoman started to grow since the two were a couple themselves and would give relationship advice to Toby whenever he had trouble with Henrietta.

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Vetinari for the character ask game? :)

ahhhh everyone's favourite dictator.

First impression

I read Hogfather first, and so I didn't think much of him at all. Downey left way more of an impression on me, obviously. Then I read Guards! Guards! and I thought him mildly entertaining, though perhaps a bit boring and predictable.

Overall, I think my takeaway was: What a stupid nerd, love that for him, but he should be more of a weird freak.

(Do I have Downey's approach to Vetinari? Possibly.)

Impression now

I'm not sure my impression has changed too much. While Vetinari does change a bit as a character over the series (though in the last few books he's pretty OOC, in my opinion), it's not distinct enough of an arc for me to really alter my opinions on him.

(tbf I do stop accepting canon at a certain point, because there are some books of Pratchett's that shouldn't have been published because they weren't up to standards due to the whole mental decline. Let him write all he wants, just don't publish them. Jesus.)

Like, Pratchett doesn't write deep characters for the most part. Vimes and Granny have depth to them - but they're POV characters so I would hope they have depth. But side characters, not so much. Which is reasonable, you know. Pratchett was writing satire and pretty basic political commentary, he wasn't doing character studies or deep literary explorations.

So, I think Vetinari is a fun spoofing of the stereotypical villainous dictator wherein he's still a dictator but he's not terrible. He's sort-of benevolent. (He still has a scorpion pit and has Problem People assassinated and locks away others who he likes but doesn't want out in the open for various reasons i.e., Leonard. Still very much a tyrant - don't get on his bad side or you'll disappear. But he's nicer than Snapcase and Winder. Low bar but he crosses it.)

I like that he's very weird and has an idiosyncratic sense of humour. That delights me. Also his fastidiousness and clear foibles and ticks are charming. That he refuses to leave treats on Wuffles' grave that Wuffles didn't like in real life is a nice detail on some of the innter softness that is in him.

That said, he can be a hard one to get into the interiority of his head because he's so...untouchable, in a certain way? He always has a trick, he always has an answer, he is always able to turn a situation to his advantage no matter what to an implausible degree, etc.

Like, Vimes I understand. I can get into his head. Same for Angua or Carrot or Downey or Sybil. But Vetinari is on the harder side. I can do it, but it's not as easy as it is for others.

It's the perfection, I think, because TP needed Vetinari to never not be in power therefore he has to be impenetrable and able to always maintain control, or reclaim control in a Cool Fashion should it have been wrested from him in some manner.

We also just don't spend much time with him, compared to others. (Barring Downey, but Downey is disastrously human so I get him.)

Favorite moment

Probably most of his vacationing with Colon and Nobby during Jingo. That was all rather entertaining.

Idea for a story

I feel like I've written all the stuff I want to with Vetinari? I'm not sure I have something off hand that I can think of.

Unpopular opinion

He ain't the woke leader fandom sometimes weirdly projects him as. He is High Tory who does progressive changes only when he thinks it will best suit him to maintain stability within the city, overt control of Ankh-Morpork as a whole, and/or to ensure the city's broader hegemony within the region.

In Night Watch he isn't written like a sixteen/seventeen-year-old and I wish he had been.

Favorite relationship

Downey lol. I mean, come on - those two have history and it's going to be Stupid and Ridiculous.

I also like him and Madam and wish we saw more of that, especially in present day as an adult.

Favorite headcanon

Other than Madam being his mother? His leg wound is an actual disability and will steadily get worse with age and Vetinari's seeming lack of a lot of physical activity.

Pratchett sort of writes it off as a whatever/funny point/something that isn't an actual problem for Vetinari (because Vetinari can't have real problems due to the need for him to be perfect so he never has to write political changeover in the city in the present day) - and I always found this annoying.

So yeah, the leg wound is a real problem and his cane is an actual mobility device and not some "aha, you thought I was weak but I'm actually not!" gimmick.

----

Thank you! <3

[fullyvisible]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love

Ooohh, I love this!!! Here we go:

Stay (Glee, Sebastian Smythe/Dave Karofsky) - this was my first-ever fanfic, written more than a decade ago, and I still have a lot of love for it!! Would I change things if I wrote it now? Sure! But I'm still damn proud of it.

Thank You for the Flowers (Legends of Tomorrow/The Flash, Barry Allen/Leonard Snart) - my first non-Glee/Smythofsky fic (... but still involving a character played by Grant Gustin lol)! It was my first time participating in a Big Bang, too, and there's lovely accompanying art by @oriley42 :)

We Deserve It (Legendborn, Bree Matthews/Nick Davis/Selwyn Kane) - you know that feeling when the characters won't get out of your head? This fic emerged from one of those times! Also, my first time writing an OT3! I'm very proud of the way I got into the heads of a new set of characters and let myself play with a world that wasn't fully built.

Secrets and Honesty (All for the Game, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard) - this is my first REAL multi-chapter fic, and it's by FAR my most popular fic to date (seriously, it's an order of magnitude ahead of anything else I've written by pretty much whichever stat you look at). And I love it! Minyard-Josten Rivalry! Top tier Kevin Day friendship! A nice helping of Jerejean on the side, plus some Renison! I wrote EXACTLY what I wanted to read and, as a bonus, other people wanted to read it, too.

To Be Certain We'll Be Tall Again (All for the Game, Kevin Day/Jean Moreau/Jeremy Knox) - this is my longest [posted] fic so far, and, while this list is just in chronological order and while picking favorite fics is like picking favorite children ... if I had to pick just one, it might be this one. I love Kevin Day and I love angst with a happy ending and I turned all of that up to 11 in this one!! AND it helped inspire A Falling Star, the INCREDIBLE series by @knickknacksandallthat <3 So that in and of itself is enough to make this one of my favorites :)

[eflen-n-reegee]

Caregiver Leonard Brocht Headcanons (Knock at the Cabin)

Heads up: this film contains discussion and instances of homophobia and the main plot involves a pretty heavy ethical debate.

Leonard is an incredibly attentive caregiver. He always tries to includes you in all conversations - even if you’re a nonspeaking regressor without a consistent means of communicating, he’ll still try to get your input however you’re able to give it.

He is also constantly checking in with you to see if anything is bothering you or making you uncomfortable.

He has tremendous patience, and can keep his cool no matter how extreme a tantrum may get. He has several calming methods he’ll try to help you use, but he also understands that sometimes the only way to get rid of negative feelings is to throw a fit.

Leonard doesn’t care what gender you are or how you present, and he will do everything he can to remind you how special you are. If you’re trans, he’ll give you frequent compliments on your clothes and call you a pretty girl or a handsome boy. If you’re gender nonconforming or non-binary, he’ll give non-gendered compliments (“Wow, that’s a pretty great green shirt - you always pick such awesome clothes!”). If you’re gender-fluid, he’ll start each day with a little game to both validate your gender and verify your current pronouns.

He’s very careful about the media you consume; while you’re regressed, he prefers you to stick to programs that are educational, or which teach good life lessons.

(And if you love horror movies, he’ll spend the entire film watching your face and pausing it if you seen truly scared. It’s a little annoying, but you know he’s just trying to help.)

Leonard loves being outside and he teaches you some great tricks for catching grasshoppers.

He always encourages you to be polite, but honest. If you don’t want something, if something makes you uncomfortable, if you just want to be alone - he’d much rather you tell the truth than hide your feelings.

Likewise, he tried to be as honest as possible with you. He never states something as a fact unless he’s certain, and although he’ll try to protect you from certain harsh truths, he won’t actively lie about them.

Leonard would do anything - anything at all - to protect you.

[harrison-abbott]

some chaps in a bar

Molly walked in with sexy boots.

Leonard was a bit in love with Molly, still, because they made out one night eight years ago.

Dave was a bit angry with Leonard because Molly used to be his girlfriend, although he kept his thoughts and passions inwardly and was largely a lazy and nice guy.

Molly didn’t speak to either of them, as she hadn’t seen them yet.

Instead she walked up to Rose, who was one of her oldest mates and who had the prettiest snow yellow hair; and they hugged and kissed and bought some drinks.

From Noel, the bartender, who wasn’t in to either of the pretty ladies because he was homosexual and himself was wary and bashed by the world because he still loved his old boyfriend who he hadn’t seen in years and who he’d moved town to get away from, and this was why he was working miserable jobs with lots of alcohol involved.

Noel was a nice guy, though. Real nice chap. And his friend Fred was an okay dude also.

Fred was drinking rum with ice. He was new to booze and wanted to be a musician. Was heavily influenced by lyricists and he wrote his own stuff and recorded lo fi material on his phone and the rum made him feel like his songwriting had any credence and yet he wasn’t quite sure whether being an artist had any strong merit because most of the time it seemed like racing too fast or being totally paralysed or rather suspended on the knifepoint of self doubt. But Fred was just chill with people. Nice boy.

Not so nice was Bill the Bouncer. Who stood outside on the doors. Some Bouncers are actually decent folk and only in it for a pay slip, whereas others, like Bill, were only in it for physical violence. Several people he had attacked. Without any police intervention. [If indeed one could argue that police officers weren’t filled with the same human material.]

Bill the Bouncer said hello to Anna when he came inside to take a pee.

Anna was from Polska and had come here for money, for a better financial life. And she’d gotten a decent salary, to her, working as a waitress. But she missed her homeland. The high rises on the horizon and the snow in winter, gaudy heat by summer. Missed the sound of trams, which weren’t in this city, and the storks that would build their nests on the electricity poles on the fields outside of town where she used to go bike rides with her sisters.

Anna liked Paul. Who was grey haired and funny called her Annabelle and spoke a little Polish in this clumsy accent and he was the type of man who didn’t care he was stupid with certain things.

Paul liked Anna too but he was too old for her and had long given up with women. It was a calmer thing to simply make people laugh now and then.

He had a dark history with woman. As lots of men do. Meh. But he could sure tell a story. Not many people disliked Paul. Not even the dark historian women.

[lowcharismaparty]

I sometimes reflect on what Star Wars was, in Lucas’ concept, in the early days, before the industry of success got ahold of it, and I sometimes can’t stop thinking about the tiny glimpses we get of what could have been. Like I’m very confident that the stuff in the Leonard Maltin interview about “I have twelve movies planned” is all bullshit (maybe he had several drafts of ways the story could have gone, but there was no grand plan beyond the one film in 1977). And I’m also very confident that Darth Vader was just the scary, mostly soulless, dark knight that guarded the castle where the princess was being held. That Obi Wan was not obfuscating the truth when he explained that Darth had been a Jedi who had turned and killed Luke’s real, normal, blandly heroic father. And don’t get me wrong, once the box office came in, and a sequel was inevitable, it’s super smart to decide to get into what the deal with Vader really is. And it’s inspired to make that evil monster the actual person that Luke so desperately wants to meet—nay, become. Leading a protag up to a door they’ve been desperately wanting to their entire lives and then opening that door to reveal the worst possible nightmare they could see... that’s just good storytelling, friends! (Which is why is was so smart to have Rey’s parents be nobodies, but I digress.) Still, there’s something magical about that early, untouched moment, when the Star Wars universe could be a million different things, and I honestly think Lucas was still intending to make it a kind of mildly dark universe, with some touches dystopia in it. I think the Clone Wars was originally a much cooler, nigh apocalyptic conflict, where illegal and horrifying cloning technology had been invented and no one could tell if you were you or a clone of you. You never knew if you were fighting beside brother or secret replacement spy and the very privilege of individuality was under threat. Heck, maybe the rise of the Empire was due to society being on the precipice of hellish chaos. The public was scared shitless, and an authoritarian regime with the power to actually prevent the threat had a certain “lesser of two evils” appeal. Lucas had just completed THX 1138, so it’s not much of a leap to think his mind was still in that zone a little bit, and while Star Wars was more of a rollicking adventure, it’s a very rich world that can have swashbuckling adventure in the foreground but hints of bleakness in the deep background. Anyway, I’ve been thinking about the extremely weird and inconsistent way the franchise has treated droids and droid ownership over the years and it occurred to me that this moment in the beginning of the Cantina scene really stood out. For the rest of this movie, droids are helpers. Tools. Some have the idea that maybe they could be more, but that’s considered silly, since that’s obviously just a byproduct of their programmed behaviors. They act sort of like people, so they sometimes forget they aren’t actually capable of being people. I imagine there being a scene where Han could have said “Fine, C-3PO, you be in charge. What would you have us all do?” and 3PO just stares in silence, completely unprepared, and indeed unable, to live as an organic, sapient being; making choices beyond the simple behaviors installed into them at the factory. I can completely understand that this way of depicting them is also pretty troubling, but it’s a lot more understandable (and honestly realistic) than the way the franchise has it, where they very clearly are sentient / sapient, and there is no way something like a restraining bolt ISN’T slavery. Going back to the surly Cantina bartender, if droids *are* just tools, why does he care if they’re there? You could posit a number of things (and I’m sure many have, and good on them): maybe droids are known to be listening devices, and he wants to protect the lovely little hive of scum and villainy he’s fostered. Maybe droids are clumsy (they are) and he’s sick of them stepping on his patrons’ squishy alien feet or knocking over drinks. Maybe the fact that droids can easily pick out every word of every conversation at the same time results, not in spooky spying, but in the droid being unable to help themselves from butting into any conversation they feel they could add some value. Greedo’s just finishing his many uses of the classic phrase “mclunky” when R2 beeps and whirs that “mclunky” is actually a malapropism based on a mis-translation of a rhodian phrase that technically means the opposite of how it’s commonly used today. Droids are super smart but also completely dumb, so of course they’d “um actually” without warning. Or maybe the grumpy bartender has an anti-droid rule because modern technology has just gotten too ubiquitous and this old hipster misses the days when people were actually present, instead of always on their phones—I mean, uh, droids. But all of these are logical reasons. Story reasons. And I’ve become weary of such technicalities. Maybe as I’ve gotten older (read: old) I’ve become much more interested in the logic of character behavior. The response feels emotional, and it’s immediate. To me, his reaction reads as fear. As if droids represent a real threat. I wonder if the specter of the Clone Wars still lingers in a lot of people’s memories and the idea of creatures that act like trustworthy people but are in fact made by a corporation with their own goals and agenda is too much to bear. What if the clones were originally created as a way to replace labor or monotonous tasks (think Calvin and his duplication machine). When most normal people were horrified at this use of biological beings, droids were created to do all the things people didn’t want to. So to many, droids are just metallic clones. Like the uncanny valley (where most of the effects in the prequels live) come to life. Or with the recent ever-presence of the Empire, maybe droids just feel too close to storm troopers and, more generally, the machinery of fascism. There’s rumors that storm troopers actually are droids. That’s how there’s so many. This bartender just wants his little cantina to be a respite from the slow rot of the once-simple world outside. It’s also striking that no one else is taken aback by the quickness and firmness of him laying down the law in his bar. This is a no droids establishment, and that’s apparently not an uncommon sentiment. And while there’s a whole other essay about how that’s truly the first instance of the franchise having a super yikesey way of approaching the droids’ rights issue, I can’t help but feel there’s a darker element that Lucas was toying with, but ended up dropping when it became clear that Star Wars meant a lot of money from kids and their families, and hinting at darkness in your universe is the enemy of money. Okay thanks bye.

[notasapleasure]

Anna B Savage - Chelsea Hotel #3 (A Common Turn, 2021)

Sorry, he says Propped on his elbows looking at me Well don't stop now I say, but he's rubbing his jaw I was distracted Try and finish myself And think of Tim Curry in lingerie... Or...holding her heavy breast...or... Y Tu Mamá También...

[god-is-a-dyke]

Epidemiology Is The Best Episode Of Community And Here Is Why

I should have posted this around Halloween, but let’s be honest Epidemiology transcends time of year. It is and always will be the most episode of all time.

Yes, I recognize this is a bold statement considering some other pretty amazing episodes (Remedial Chaos Theory being the most obvious contender here). I will say I’m biased in a few different ways. However, i have 9 pages of notes about this episode and goddamnit if I’m not going to share them.

(i’ll put this under a cut because it will get long and i’m not sorry but i do respect people’s scrolling pleasure)

As someone growing up in the early 2000s/2010s, I was not immune to the craze of zombie entertainment. I watched The Walking Dead, Zombieland, and 28 Days Later. I played Left4Dead and the Telltale Walking Dead games. I read zombie apocalypse survival guides for fun.

However, let’s take a second to understand the risk Community undertook here. This is a sitcom that follows the day to day life of these characters we know and love. To drop them into an apocalyptic world requires finesse. There have to be real stakes, but we don’t want to lose too much. The writers have crafted this story that doesn’t rely on “it was a dream” or other tacky fake outs. So, let’s see how they do this.

1. THE LORE  

pt 1 Infection

- “A rabies related pathogen causing hyperaggression”

A logical explanation for an illogical occurrence. With this one phrase, Rich grounds us in a reality where a disease like this could actually occur. All it would take is the right mutation of a certain virus strain.

A systemic infection must be transferred to a host and then spread throughout the body. A zombie bite does this by infecting the tissue and bloodstream. But, viruses can also spread through things such as our gastrointestinal tract. The bite is going to spread to the bloodstream much faster, hence the shorter incubation time; the early cases are due to the consumption of the tainted “army rations”.

Now what makes this infection so special? The other key to making this work in universe is maintaining a sliver of humanity in our zombies. They are who they were -- Annie studying, Jeff texting no body, Chang trying to kiss Shirley, and even Leonard turning away from Shirley after she intimidates him. The important thing is there’s still something to come back to. These aren’t rotting bodies of the undead, they’re still our favorite characters who hold their personalities, but now they’re just uninhibited (and crave human flesh).

pt 2 The Army

The events at Greendale on Halloween night are kept contained, by no accident. But it’s the extent to which it’s contained is unsettling to say the least.

- The Army Knew About The Taco Meat

This whole thing was supposed to be contained from the beginning, hence the warning label. But it begs the question, why was it available at the Army Surplus Store? How was the Dean able to to buy it in the first place?

- “The army’s gonna be here in 6 hours”

So here’s where it get’s fucked up. Rich says because of the fevers caused by the virus within 3 hours the infected will suffer brain damage and in another 3 they’ll be dead. Add it up and what do you get?

The army intends for everyone to infect each other and die off, and to simply come in clean up the remains of Greendale Community College. The Dean locks everyone in the school. They restrict the phone lines so nobody can call local emergency responders. At 6 hours on the dot, the army arrives and -- if you watch very carefully before they discover uninfected -- the man behind the leader of the response starts to pull a gun on the Dean: “The Only Witness”.

Once the uninfected are discovered they move to “Plan B” which is staging a mass roofie and wiping everyone’s memories of that night. Their initial plan is to just let everyone die. And I think most of us who have lived the past couple years in America will agree that this is..... quite on brand for the American Government.

All of this grounds the episode in our established world. A world of chaos, yet grounded in reality. This makes the episode possible. It changes the game of the zombie apocalypse media, perfect for a one off episode in a sitcom.

But I’m only getting started.

2. Character Progression/Dynamics

Despite the Special Episode vibes, this episode still moves the story along and stays true to the characters. 

- Pierce and Starburns

Yeah uh... duh. There’s no other way a zombie apocalypse would start.

- Jeff and Britta

It’s later revealed that they’re secretly hooking up at this point, so their banter at the beginning of the episode establishes a flashback point. It’s also a point of stasis. We’re used to seeing Jeff and Britta poke around at each other, so we have this sense of familiarity to begin before the world literally falls apart.

- Rich and Britta

If there’s anyone in the group deluded enough to think they’d be the exception to getting the virus, it’s these two.

Rich is the most knowledgeable on the virus, without him they would all fail. Therefore, he thinks this knowledge makes him immune. He’s already served his purpose, however, so he no longer gets this immunity.

Britta... This doesn’t need much explaining. She puts up a façade. She thinks she can do more than she can. She thinks she is doing more than she is. But deep down, she’s lost and scared. She’s going to lose herself if she continues this hubris. This is just another example of this.

- Shirley and Chang

This could only happen during the end of days.

They find their common ground in the face of death. This sets up the arc for the rest of the season. Another roadblock for Shirley and Andre, conflict between Troy and Pierce, and more of Chang’s story.

- Annie

Listen man, Annie does the best she can to help, and is taken out through no fault of her own. But hey at least she gets the best shot in the episode. That window shot gets me every time.

Her nursing furthers her whole crush on Rich thing, and also is a smaller version of the healthcare role she plays again during the Pillows and Blankets war.

- Jeff

He tries to take up the leadership position in the basement, but ultimately that falls to Troy. Jeff claims to be so successful in life because he suppresses himself and focuses on outwards appearance. His obsession with his appearance leads to his demise. He opens the door because he doesn’t want to dirty his suit. He complains about Banana Rich stretching out his suit jacket as he’s dying. He refuses to engage in the “nerdy” end of the world antics. He’s still living in reality, but the apocalypse requires some degree of accepting the insanity and leaning into it.

Again, we have to remember these are the characters we know and love. We have to know they’ll be safe, but still worry about them. The show has to continue from here; even though their memories get wiped, this had to mean something.

But, wait. Someone is missing...

3. The Troy And Abed Of It All

Okay, so let’s just acknowledge right off the bat that these two are in love. Cool? Now we can move on.

Without Troy and Abed, this episode doesn’t work.

- This Is The Culmination Of Troy’s Early Character Development

This is Troy finally letting go of his jock persona, finally not worrying about how others view him. This parallel’s Jeff’s journey in this episode, which is why there’s such an emphasis on Jeff’s $600 suit and his texting. Troy has to see that in the face of death none of that is going to matter or save him. After this, Troy stops worrying as much: we get the blanket fort, the trampoline, his 21st birthday. He goes from a nerd to a jock and back to a nerd again.

He uses his jock persona as a safety blanket. He has come a long way since the pilot, but his anxieties and insecurities are so deeply rooted that they come out kicking sometimes.

- Trying To Ground Abed In Reality

Abed is the exact opposite of Jeff, Troy stands between them.

Abed is focused on the idea of saving the world by lowering the thermostat. He relinquishes power, and lets Jeff convince him that it won’t work. And hey, maybe if they had tried it then it wouldn’t have. Ultimately, he was right and the unreality was key, but the next 5 minutes are pivotal to Jeff and Troy’s story.

- Troy’s Voice After Leaving Abed

Look, I know we already set aside their love for each other but we can’t just fucking ignore this. It breaks me. He’s so broken. He just left behind his best friend. They just had a fight and then Abed sacrificed himself for Troy. Because no matter what he’s never going to not believe in Troy. 

- Abed Is The Only One Who Can Get Troy To Be A Nerd Once And For All

When Abed gives up the illusion of the fantasy and focuses on escaping, Troy takes up that torch. He follows through with Abed’s plan, but Abed’s plan only works if you don’t bind yourself to the laws of reality.

- If Abed Was With Him, Troy Wouldn’t Have Gone Back In

This might be a stretch. Maybe they would have come up with another plan. Or found out the army’s plan.

But seeing Abed sacrifice himself for Troy after everything, Troy has nothing more to lose. That’s his other half, and he has to at least try to save him (and everyone else)

- Confronting The Zombies

The costume does help slow the zombies down to some extent, but it’s impractical and eventually given up. Troy has to give into the fantasy, but he can’t stray too far from reality. He needs both to survive.

Troy punches every single one of his friends. Except Abed. The only person who could get him there was the only person who could stand in the way of his success.

He still pushes through. Acknowledging Jeff once more. Both Abed and Jeff pulling him to their extremes in one way or another. But combined, they give him the push to complete his journey. Troy truly has the Heart of a Hero.

- Aftermath

There’s so much in the way they look at each other after being bandaged up. Troy and Abed know something is different. They might not know exactly what happened, but they know it was big. Something has changed. They have changed. But what’s important is they’re together. They survive when they work together.

This is Troy finally letting go and being the person he truly is inside. Thanks to Abed.

CONCLUSION

Maybe I’m biased. Maybe I’ve rambled on for hours. Maybe no one will ever read this.

Maybe I just prefer episodes that focus on Troy and Abed.

Maybe I just had an intense love for zombie stories as a kid and it’s bleeding into adulthood.

BUT

This episode is just so special to me for so many reasons. I really do think it’s one other the best episodes of Community and honestly of a lot of tv shows I’ve ever watched.

It’s an action filled episode with an ABBA Soundtrack. What more could you want?!

And most important of all........ the cat in the basement.

[whatdoyoumeanitsnotcanon]

Hi! Your blog has become one of my absolute favorites super quickly! I love how much thought you put into your work whenever you post, it’s wonderful! You’ve even gotten me into characters I hadn’t even put much thought into previously, and it’s been a joy to explore your interpretations of them.

With that being said, I’d love to know if you have any hcs for what marriage and “official consort” life would be like with Radahn and Morgott, and anyone else if this happens to resonate with you for other characters.

Anyways, thank you for your time, and I hope you have a lovely rest of your night!

Morning, anon, and thank you so very much for your kind words. I try my best and I'm truly glad you enjoy my blog!

Now, without further ado:

Regarding Morgott:

Morgott never thought he'd get married. In fact, he was certain he'd remain alone for the rest of his life.

So when he actually does get married, not only is he shocked (despite proposing and his consort saying yes, quite happily might I add) during the engagement period, but maintains his disbelief even after the vows have been said and the ink is dry. Even years after the wedding, I can see him having moments where he's like, "By the Erdtree, I am married." Yes, Morgott, you are married.

It's an adjustment period for both parties. Morgott because he's so used to being alone and his days filled with relative silence. It was deafening, really. Now he's never known a livelier household. For his consort, I'd imagine the idea of being Lord/Lady of Leyndell is so daunting. What if they don't make a good consort? What if they never connect to the people? WHY ARE THERE SO MANY STEPS? Not to fear, however, their lovely King is there to help them.

The day-to-day affairs can be (read: are) boring, though. Even Morgott admits to that, but his consort spends the first couple of years getting to know the logistics and responsibilities of co-ruling and Morgott is there every step of the way.

Eventually, they become confident enough to voice their own opinions regarding certain legislation. I can see his consort being particularly vocal when it comes to the treatment of Omens and the Shunning Grounds.

Morgott is the Brains and his consort is the Heart. They make a pretty effective team.

They also teach Morgott the value of self-care and adequate sleep.

Their mornings and nights will always be spent with each other.

Making out in the throne room is pretty hot, too.

Regarding Radahn: (Spoiler alert: my next Radahn x Reader fic is actually about him proposing.)

WHOOO, boy, he's like a kid in a candy shop.

His loved ones have never seen him so excited before. He may get a bit too excited sometimes because random objects in his vicinity start gravitating in midair.

One of the best damn days in his life was his wedding. He may or may not have cried.

Radahn is so damn honored that his consort said yes. He promises to make them the happiest spouse in the Lands Between. And he will make do on that promise.

Actually, both parties promise each other that and given how Radagon and Rennala's marriage ended, they hold each other to it.

Nothing really changes in their relationship other than Radahn becoming more protective even if they know how to defend themselves. And he continues to spoil the shit out of his consort. Wherever he goes, they will be at his side. Or in his arms. Hell, their feet would never touch the ground if he had his way.

Double the attention for Leonard.

Double the kisses and laughter for the couple.

If they argue, of course, it'll never last long.

Now his men have another parent. One who also blesses them with horrible dad humor.

Radahn has something to truly fight for. He fights with all the ferocity in the world so he can come back to his consort's arms once again.

I also like to think that it was also during his engagement that he had one of the most open conversations with Radagon since marrying Marika. Of course, he doesn't get the whole story though I think Radagon would have alluded to it. Radahn leaves the conversation with renewed conviction and Radagon silently prays their marriage is a loving one. But then he remembers how determined his son is and knows he has nothing to worry about. Radahn carries his lovely mother's spirit after all...

[lorddeath]

we are back at it again, boyos - i know i posted something about this like, two years ago, but times have changed and so have my hyperfixations. : - ) 

hellooo. my name is katie, i’m 21+ yo, i work a fulltime job and i have five cats and a dog with my partner in crime and girlfriend. i do have 12 years of experience in the rp community both on and off tumblr (christ), and while i have tried to find a platform that suits my needs, i have come to the conclusion that tumblr is really the only place to find people like me, so i am opening up a ... roleplay partner call. 

looking for:

someone to write ships/etc. with

someone who is willing to be friends outside of rp!

a buddy to throw hcs and ideas back and forth with all night rather than sleep (last part is kind of a joke but also isn’t 👀)

someone that is okay with/encourages playlists or pinterest boards for ships, characters, etc. and enjoys character development 

putting preferences and fandom specifications under a read more! 

my preferences:

i write in third person and tend to create para/novella style responses. fluent in english. no *action* writing, please.

smut’s cool. i enjoy writing it and do not need to fade to black, so if partners can be 18+, that would be fab.

i prefer to write over discord. willing to give my discord out to people who respond.

i am most comfortable writing canon/canon ships, however i do have a slew of ocs that i would not mind a) creating aus for and b) writing with other ocs or canon characters.

needing someone that is patient with replies - i am mentally ill af and my creative motivation waxes and wanes. i need as much room as possible to make sure that i can write a decent response to any active roleplays, and sometimes i can crank them out in minutes or days. it really just depends. 

things/tropes that i want to write:

give me things like vampires, witches, werewolves - fantasy is HUGE for me right now!

friends to lovers

enemies to lovers

f/f, m/m, f/m !!

platonic love 

doesn’t have to be fandom related, could just be oc/oc!

fandoms:

star wars (BIG HYPERFIXATION RN) - i am a huge prequels fan but i am willing to write pretty much any stage of the saga

characters i am willing to write: anakin skywalker, obi-wan kenobi, satine kryze, padme amidala, leia organa, han solo, poe dameron, myriad of different ocs. others upon request. 

ships: obikin, obitine (!! a big one for me right now!) anidala, obidala, finnpoe, canon/oc. 

dragon age - i have played all three games and am eagerly awaiting the next

characters i am willing to write: anders, solas, cullen rutherford, possibly alistair if i am in a certain mood, myriad of different ocs, others upon request. 

ships: solavellan, anders/hawke (male or female), canon/oc. 

mass effect - i have played the first two games, and i am 3/4s of the way through the 3rd

characters i am willing to write: garrus, thane, kaidan, liara, femshep, maleshep upon request, ocs. 

ships: garrus/shepard, garrus/tali, thane/shepard, kaidan/shepard, liara/shepard.... y’know, any of the companions/shepard tbh. 

fallout - i have played fallout new vegas, 4, and 76.

characters i am willing to write: this one is a bit of a smaller list but hancock is a favorite of mine. ocs are a thing here, too. i can try to write other canon characters upon request. 

ships: available for discussion. 

star trek - i have seen all of the nu!trek movies and most of the original series.

characters i am willing to write: leonard mccoy, montgomery scott, spock, ocs. 

ships: spock/jim, jim/bones, spock/bones, canon/oc. 

tertiary fandoms/series that i am well-versed in: 

psycho pass

castlevania

netflix’s the witcher

good omens

example of my writing and shameless plug: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18647398?view_adult=true

if you have made it this far... COOL BEANS. thanks for being here! feel free to message me here on tungle dot hell if you are interested in any of the above. i am always willing to clarify or answer any questions. 

thanks!

[maybeamultiverse]

My Personal Headcanon in Regards to Vulcan Reproduction & Conception

(DISCLAIMER: Firstly, I'm genuinely sorry this rant is just about reproduction and is through a very cis-heterosexual perspective for the sake of generalization... but I do want to write about queer Vulcans soon as well in the future, inshallah. Also, this little mini-essay includes mentions of SA.)

So, of course, we all know Spock. Everyone loves Spock. Of course. Duh. Why do you think you're here?

Now, according to the information and references we've gathered from Gene Roddenberry, Mark Lenard, Leonard Nimoy, and probably some other show writers I can't think off of the top of my head... is that Spock's conception was definitely the result of scientific interference. This difficulty to naturally conceive a Vulcan/human hybrid is also explored a bit in Enterprise with the birth/creation of Elizabeth (ENT S4EP20,21), though she's a binary clone planted by a terrorist organization, so it is a little bit different... buuuuuuut that's beside the point.

While it would make sense that conceiving alien hybrids in the Star Trek pseudo-utopian future might not be so straightforward given the extensive genetic differences, there are, nonetheless, two separate instances of hybrids between Romulans and other species that stand out in contrast to Spock's clinical origin story. Namely, Sela, the infamous daughter of Tasha Yar and Volskiar (TOS novel Vulcan's Heart), as well as Ba'el, the half-Klingon half-Romulan woman living in a prison camp on Carraya IV (TNG S6EP16,17).

Romulans are, obviously, close biological cousins to Vulcans with a dramatic story of separation and the ensuing war. However, what sets Romulans apart is their willingness to express their emotions and their lack of refined telepathic abilities. Additionally, from what fans and creators have loosely pieced together, Romulans also lack pon farr entirely.

Now, I think it's obvious that Tasha Yar absolutely would never consent to have a child with a Romulan General. Volskiar kidnapped her and presumably killed or imprisoned all members of the USS Enterprise-C, including Tasha's romantic interest, Lieutenant Richard Castillo (TNG S3EP15). It's a pretty heavy-handed subtextual implication that Tasha was assaulted as an exchange for her life.

Alternately, Ba'el's mother, Gi'ral, was imprisoned under her Romulan father Toketh's jurisdiction after the Massacre of Khitomer in 2346. While Toketh changed his perspective on Klingons and 'fell in love' with one, I still call dubious consent, even if Toketh tried to establish a peaceful colony and was rejected by other Romulans and subsequently forced into a lifetime of secrecy and seclusion.

Why am I bringing up Romulans, then? Well, to me, it's clear that Sela and Ba'el were not conceived through any medical intervention. There are numerous instances of other hybrids that aren't really given such a delicate backstory as Spock... Worf and K'Ehleyr had Alexander (even if his mother was still half Klingon), B'Elanna Torres also exists, Deanna Troi is out here vibing, and Tora Ziyal is DEFINITELY not the product of a happy, intentional, meaningful, and consensual exchange (not gonna go into Cardassian/Bajoran discourse atm)... so why are Vulcans notably considered almost impossible to conceive offspring with others, not of their own species?

I think it has everything to do with pon farr and their unique telepathy, as I alluded to earlier. Humans, for example, don't have a 'mating cycle,' and healthy females within a certain age range ovulate every month, more or less... I hope you know about all that. Now, does that mean that Vulcan females have a period every seven years? That sounds kinda nice? And, well, this is the point where this narrative begins to spiral into my own personal headcanon.

I don't think Vulcan females undergo pon farr unless they are telepathically linked to a male in some way, and if they're never married or bonded to someone, they just won't get a period. Slay.

I have come to the conclusion, through my most incredible, loser powers of sci-fi franchise deduction, that Vulcan females will literally not ovulate until they are telepathically bound to a partner because, after all, Vulcan telepathy is everything to them. It is the hallmark of their anatomical function, it is how they resolve the plak tow, it's how they forge deep connections with others, et cetera.

I also kind of like the idea that Vulcan siblings all vary in age by roughly seven years because... you know (wink wink).

So, a Vulcan male can forge a telepathic connection with a human female, for example, but the bond itself won't really be the same, no matter the 'love' (Vulcans hate that word because they're edgelords 'oh I cherish thee' shut the f*ck up) between the couple. A human brain is literally incapable of the kind of telepathy considered average among Vulcans (not counting Dr. Miranda Jones from TOS S3EP7). This would, in turn, make natural conception difficult and require medical intervention like what Sarek and Amanda canonically chose to do.

So, therefore, this would make having a Vulcan mother and a human father (rip Trip x T'Pol) incredibly difficult scientifically, and it could only happen under exceptionally freakish, unusual and highly unlikely circumstances.

A Vulcan female's ovulation, in this little fictional digital bubble of a heterosexual reproductive hypothetical scenario, has to be triggered through the instigation of a telepathic bond as a result of a Vulcan male's pon farr.

However... what if a Vulcan female, who was bonded to a Vulcan male, began to undergo the physiological effects of pon farr but did not have physical access to her mate? What if there was a human 'surrogate' nearby? Could there be conception since the female would be ovulating? (insert my fan fiction plug here)

These are the thoughts I ponder at 2AM while neglecting my Ph.D. work.

Anyways, Vulcans have to go about everything in the most complex, annoying way possible and are absolutely ravenous silly horn dogs that are so ridiculous. Truly. The end.

[d-criss-news]

Nine Songs: Darren Criss

When Disney, Phantom Planet and Mr Hudson collide: Glee star, Emmy and Golden Globe winner and musician Darren Criss talks Andrew Wright through the pivotal songs in his life and the unexpected ways they found him.

“When we are younger, our gateway drugs to a lot of popular things don’t come from the sexiest of places. It’s up to you how proactive you want to be with your curiosity from there, and how far down the rabbit hole you want to go, if you go down at all.”

Choosing the songs that define you is a tricky business to say the least, especially when the power of song has provided an ongoing soundtrack to your life. “When you’re as avid a music consumer as musical artists are, trying to pin down Nine Songs is difficult,” Darren Criss laughs. So much so, his final choices only really crystallise as our conversation draws to its close. “It’s hard for me not to see the value and joy in literally everything,” he explains. “The curse of the creative person is that your ideas and your interests always move way faster than your body can execute.”

Criss is a creative par excellence. As well as his Emmy and Golden Globe winning performance in The Assassination of Gianni Versace, where he played serial killer Andrew Cunanan, to his upcoming role in Muppets Haunted Mansion Halloween special as The Caretaker, he’s also a prolific musician. Criss enjoyed a decadent musical consumption since childhood, so “this was a bit of an archaeological dig,” he admits. As such, everything from jazz standards, to 808s, punk rock, ‘90s teen pop, and musical numbers are excavated in the course of our extemporaneous journey through the music he loves.

Equally on his mind is how to go about approaching the task of creating his Nine Songs, full stop. “The interesting social experiment is: Are my answers going to be songs that actually shaped my life and were formative to me as an artist? Are they songs that were formative to me as a human being? Or am I picking songs that I think represent who I am to people that do not know me? All three of those things aren’t necessarily the same thing.”

He reaches a conclusion of sorts. “For the purposes of making some kind of decision, I’m gonna lean less into trying to look cool to your very cool readership, and more into the literal, ‘What made me think about music in a different way? And hit me in a very emotional way?’ I think that’s probably the healthiest route.”

Embracing the accessibility that characterises Criss’ picks - or at times the initial touchpoints that led him to them - are something he vacillates over during our chat. “I’ve seen a lot of other people’s Nine Songs and they’re super cool. It’s like Leonard Cohen B-sides and old opera records and stuff. I’m gonna be pretty honest with the pop culture zeitgeist of how I grew up but explain why there is so much value in those moments.” His contemplation continues into the next day, Criss’s publicist passes on his regrets at being tentative to admit how he encountered one of his song choices via the Shrek soundtrack.

A yearning to reinterpret accessibility and the value attached to it drives Criss, however. He tells me that a festival performance that applied the anarchic verve of punk rock to a more refined Great American Songbook number remoulded his perception of music entirely. His love of the fusion of these two genres in particular symbolises the salient musical backdrops of his childhood - the guitar bands he played in with friends, and his musical theatre endeavours that led him to Broadway and multiple Ryan Murphy juggernauts, including his breakthrough playing Blaine Anderson in Glee.

Criss employs these contrasting musical lexicons, and other areas in between, on Masquerade, his new EP. Comprising five stand-alone “character-driven” singles, it sees Criss donning different musical personas. “I’m leaning into people that might know me as an actor,” he explains. “Because if actors can do Shakespeare, romantic comedy, and then do a horror movie and wear a prosthetic nose and a wig, I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just do that with music.” The song “walk of shame” draws on jazz-standard chords interlaced with hip-hop production, “i can’t dance” looks to new-wave, and “for a night like this” is the product of Criss’ goal to create the ultimate end-of-the-night crowd-pleaser for a new-year bash, wedding or bar mitzvah. “This is all of the parts of me as a lifelong fan of these genres, trying my hand at servicing the pieces of them that I love.”

“I really love all styles of music and understanding what makes them unique and special and what makes them really pop. There are so many things that really make things sing - for lack of a better verb - and I like acknowledging those things and celebrating those things.”

“So, let’s begin. I have runners up and shit, and I have artists, I don’t just have the songs, so we might have to pick them as we go.”

“Part of Your World” by Jodi Benson

“When people read this, they’ll go ‘That’s cute, he likes Disney songs’, but it’s more profound than that. Some of the most formative pieces of music to hit me at a very early age would have been any of the songs that were coming from ‘The Disney renaissance.’ The early-mid ‘90s explosion of The Little Mermaid, Aladdin and Beauty and The Beast.

"One of the through lines between the three of those musicals was Howard Ashman, who is one of my all-time heroes. Dramaturg, songwriter - he really was the voice behind what made those songs great. I have always loved Howard’s lyrical sensibility and also Alan Menken, his partner who wrote these songs with him. There was a musical structure to a lot of the songs which I would unconsciously pick up in my own songwriting, not just musically, but the idea that not only did somebody make these songs, but they wrote them for a story.

“There’s a clip of Howard Ashman vocal directing Jodi Benson, who was the original voice of Ariel. It’s a wonderful example of his genius, where not only was he songwriting but he was storytelling in the way he would tell her how to perform it, and you can really see the song coming to life in that clip. That’s when you cross the street from ‘It’s a song’ to ‘This is an experience.’

"There are certain ingredients that are required to elevate music that goes beyond just a nice melody, a beautiful orchestration and a good voice. There are things that are required to really give a performance a characterisation, context and a vulnerability, that he architects in real-time with Jodi Benson. You see that what he’s doing is what makes the record so special, and that’s something that’s always been inspiring to me.”

“MMMBop” by Hanson

“I think my love of Hanson was because some people didn’t like it, so I was like ‘Fuck you, I like this, how do you feel about it?’ But this is difficult for me, because you know, I’m speaking to The Line of Best Fit and we’re trying to be cool! Although, do you know what’s cool? Being accessible! Writing a pop hit when you are 10 years old. Being in a band with your brothers and you’re all below the age of 15, you have a record contract where you are writing, producing and performing songs that are doing well.

“I was 10 years old when their first album Middle of Nowhere came out, and I remember reading somewhere that there were these kids that had a record. At the time, I was playing guitar and I was writing songs, but in my mind I was a kid, and that was it. I couldn’t be on the radio; you had to be a grown up to do this.

"This was the first time where I realised ‘Holy shit, kids can do stuff!’ It’s the value of seeing yourself in the media - that’s a whole other conversation to talk about - but there’s an immense value in feeling like there’s a piece of you out in the zeitgeist and doing well because it’s encouraging. You go, ‘Holy shit, maybe I can do this as well.'

“When you see children doing things, you’re ‘Wow, this is so cute and fabulous’, but then when you actually look at it you go, ‘This is miles above what most people in this age group are capable of,’ and that’s all I saw, because I was in the same age group and I was so inspired by that. This whole album was really a turning point for me, where I was like, ‘I can do this, I can do music too, because these guys can.'

“Ooh La La” by Faces

“This song really blew my mind. It became my own theme. It’s that ‘Make your heart sing’, nostalgic moment when you’re a teenager, driving in the car listening to it, playing guitar with your friends and you’re singing “I wish that I knew what I know now / When I was younger.” You’re like, ‘because I’m an adult now, I’m 15-years-old. If I only knew what I know now.’

“I was doing theatre from a young age and I was part of a young conservatory called A.C.T. in San Francisco. By way of somebody who knew somebody, I had an audition for a movie. As a kid not being near New York or Los Angeles it was really exciting, and this audition was for a film called ‘Max Fischer’, which would become the movie Rushmore, which would become one of my favourite movies of all time by the now very distinguished Wes Anderson.

“Separate from my own objective love of Wes Anderson, when this movie came out I was just around the age of getting into my own sort of identity with music, but also movies - indie movies - and trying to assert who I was. So, I see this movie Rushmore and I love it. I love the soundtrack, I love it so much, it’s one of my favourite albums ever. This song is the end sequence, and the way it made me feel - the vocals on it, I could play it on guitar and it was part of a cool movie - it really represented a lot in my life.

“And because of the acting thing, and Rushmore being great - it’s about this kid in high-school who's misunderstood but has his own agenda - everything about it was just so fucking cool to me. To this day, I cite that song as one of my favourite records of all time.”

“Recently Distressed” by Phantom Planet

“A guy that really formed the way I would sing and write songs is Alex Greenwald, the frontman of Phantom Planet. I went to see Phantom Planet because I loved Rushmore and I found out that Jason Schwartzman [who had been cast as Max Fischer] was also the drummer for a band called Phantom Planet.

"So, when I saw their name on the bill I went, but I didn't know their music. I was barely 14, but their set blew my mind. It was Rock and Roll, but I loved Alex Greenwald’s voice. I loved everything, and I would follow their career from there. I always tell people that my voice is a combination of me trying to be Alex Greenwald, Paul McCartney and Rufus Wainwright, but failing. Alex was incredibly formative for me.

“One of their biggest records was a little while after I first saw them, which was the song for The O.C., "California." That was more of an Elvis Costello thing, and they employed a lot of stuff that sounded to me like The Beatles and a lot of ‘60s mod/pop-rock. But later they would employ things from Fugazi, Radiohead and harder shit, and that eclecticism, again, only accelerated my love for Phantom Planet.

“Recently Distressed” is from their 1998 album Phantom Planet Is Missing. This was a cool rock song that employed these George [Harrison] and Paul [McCartney] background vocals and included all of the things that I loved. It was harder but melodic and employed minor 4th chords and more complicated chords than I was used to. I had grown up with power chords - which are very Gregorian - on a lot of alt. punk rock, like Green Day or Nirvana, and if Kurt Cobain was using power chords then that’s how I was playing guitar. Hearing this music was like ‘Oh, I’m using full chords, not sevenths, minor 4th chords, diminished chords’, shit that I would learn to use more and more.

“When you haven’t experienced much, anything that gives a hint towards possibility, even though it’s probably always been there, you’re like, ‘I like this, I’ve always kind of liked this, but it’s very encouraging to hear somebody else do it and it’s gonna make me reconsider my possibilities.’ That was literally the moment that my power chords turned into full barre chords.”

“Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk” by Rufus Wainwright

“I forgot the other day how I got into Rufus Wainwright, because all of this stuff I was getting into quite young. It’s like when I talk to 11-13 year olds, it’s funny to think that this was when I was really starting to build my musical identity. But then I remembered, and I didn’t want to say because I didn’t want to sound uncool, because he is such a revered artist who exists in a much cooler place than what I’m about to say.

“I loved soundtracks and I would always buy soundtracks for movies that had cool playlists. I had the Shrek soundtrack, and there’s a cover of Leonard Cohen’s seminal “Hallelujah” that Rufus does and he smashes it, and I’m like, ‘Who the fuck is Rufus Wainwright? What a beautiful voice.’ Then I saw that he was going to be at the Virgin Megastore in San Francisco one week, so I go and he’s there promoting his new album Poses. I remember I didn’t have enough money to buy the album that day, so I had him sign my sneaker and I saved that shoe.

“The first song on Poses was “Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk”, which is a very dark and reflective song about his own battles with addiction, but he’s singing it over this really beautiful, whimsical song that has a lot of really great wordplay. I always love when artists, especially lyricists, can encapsulate an idea with not exactly what they’re talking about. The song’s called “Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk”, it’s not called “Addiction”. Its talking about things that he craved and how that’s representative of other things that he’s gone through. There was a sophistication and elegance to that that I really gravitated towards, that I didn’t possess but wanted to shoot for. So when I saw him, that was a big one for me and he would also continue to influence me later in my life.

“I’ve become friends with Rufus since. I’ve performed with him and we’ve made records together, which is crazy. His songwriting was very complex and punk-rock, but he had this classic cabaret voice, the kind of voice that I don’t have. I was fascinated that there was somebody that could write this really dark material but have such elegance on top of it. He was virtuosic on the piano, which I thought was very cool because musicianship is always the thing that gets me going the most about artists.

“You know what? People say, ‘Don’t meet your heroes.' I completely disagree. Chase the living fuck out of your heroes. I’ve spent a lifetime doing so, it’s made me a better artist, and I’ve sometimes got to meet them and work with them. I’ve worked on music with Alex Greenwald of Phantom Planet. I’ve performed with Hanson. I’ve performed those Disney songs with Alan Menken at The Hollywood Bowl.

"This is all because there are people that I love who I have put on my vision board, and the things that they have done are the things that are bringing me to them. So it is nuts, but at the same time you’re like, ‘Well, what else did you think would happen?’ They did stuff that some part of me connected with, so obviously there’s a magnetic pull towards that person.

“Rufus Wainwright is one of my absolute favourite artists of all time and like I said, me trying to sing like him and failing is a big part of my own journey as an artist.”

“3x5” by John Mayer

“John Mayer’s another guy that came around when I was 15. I heard a song of his on a middle-of-the-night, singer/songwriter college radio show. This is where I used to get music. You would listen to these carefully curated playlists that you wouldn’t be able to hear anywhere else, and the host played “No Such Thing”, a new song by this young kid who had just dropped out of Berklee College of Music - John Mayer.

“I’m listening to this song and I’m like, ‘Not only is this guitar playing really interesting, but the lyrical value and everything that is going on here ticks all the boxes.' It was jazz, but it was pop. And he did something that all these other guys and girls I’ve mentioned did. They made something very unique and very accessible.

“I immediately went out to buy this album, Room For Squares, and I listened to it over and over again. It was an album that was really formative for me. "3x5” is a really beautiful song that employs a lot of chord structures and melodies that blew my fucking mind at the time, and it made me wish that I could write songs like that.

“That album was a huge turning point in the way I played the guitar, because it was the first time in my life where I would look up tabs. Up until this point in my life, if I heard a song I could play it instantly. It was like a party trick, I would get how it worked if I heard it, because most of the songs I would hear on the radio - especially those that involved a guitar - were [centred around] power chords. And now I’m hearing all of these ninth chords and thirteenths, and I’m like, ‘What the fuck is this?’ So I’d have to look up tabs.

“I think any young artist can attest to this - when you try and learn other people’s shit, it’s the best tool for educating yourself. Playing other people’s music really helps you lock in what your own style is. Trying to learn these songs - and sometimes pulling it off and sometimes not - really changed the way that my hands moved around the guitar and considered chords and voicings that I’d never really thought of.

“There’s another tie to musical theatre here, where I remember seeing Audra McDonald, who is a very venerated theatre actor, and she did a cabaret. If you’re familiar with cabaret culture, it’s more about performing the story of the songs – ‘Life is a cabaret’. She did a John Mayer song because she thought it was from a musical theatre show, and I was so tickled by this, because I was like ‘Yeah, if you really think about it, I don’t think he knows this and I don’t think his fan base even thinks about this, but there’s a number of his songs that feel very theatrical in the way that the lyrics play with each other and the way the chords move’.

"When I saw this I thought, ‘That is why I like John Mayer’, because yes, he’s an amazing guitar player, but he’s also a really strong songwriter.”

“Cabaret” by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes

“Also, around this time growing up in San Francisco, as a guitar player playing music with your buddies, the number one thing that you play is punk rock. There are different parts of the spectrum of punk rock, there's the NOFX, Swingin’ Utters, like real punk, punk. And then there’s the pop-punk thing that was happening at the same time, which was also equally influential - blink-182 and Green Day.

“Fat Mike was the frontman of NOFX. I loved NOFX, and Me First and the Gimme Gimmes were a supergroup of different members from different punk bands, of which Fat Mike was one of the main architects. They would cover songs and turn them into punk rock songs. They have an album of hits from the ‘60s, and they also have an album called Me First and the Gimme Gimmes: Are a Drag, and that record is just a tonne of musical theatre covers that are done through punk rock.

“That was completely in line with everything I loved at this time of my life but didn’t really know how to articulate. I loved punk rock but I also really loved musical theatre. Not only the performative element of it, but there was a real musicality to musical theatre that wasn’t as present in some of the other shit that was popular at the time, just harmonically, or where chords would go. There was a sophistication I loved that seemed to not exist in punk rock.

“Then hearing Fat Mike at The Warped Tour going ‘Alright, which one of you Motherfuckers loves Julie Andrews?’ and hearing a mixed bag of reactions, because people were ‘What? I was not expecting that from you, sir?’ And then they start playing “My Favourite Things”, a classic Rodgers and Hammerstein song which is very accessible, but sophisticated nonetheless. And I am just living. I’m like, ‘This has got the attitude and simplicity of punk rock, but the sophistication of a beautiful song.’

“That was the first time in my life where I went, ‘It’s just all music. All these categories and boxes are completely arbitrary.’ So I thought, ‘I can do that.' I was playing power chords in punk bands but I realised that you can take chords and make them into other rhythms and voicings and have the same song. I could take a punk song and make it jazz. I could take a jazz song and make it country. So, quite providentially, I would end up on Glee, where they took popular songs and would sometimes do their own versions.

“By that point, I had been doing this my whole life. The first time this ever became a possibility for me was seeing Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, and that way of thinking about music and genre. I’ve put that into Masquerade, and it’s all born from that moment of ‘Oh my God, nothing has to be one thing. It’s just about how you look at it.'

“Cabaret” is from a pretty famous musical that I would’ve probably heard about later in life, but I first heard that song as a punk song and then I went back and heard the original. It doesn’t matter how these things happen, the inspiration happens and then you can go from there. But Me First and The Gimme Gimmes were a huge gateway drug and I play “Cabaret” now every year at my festival. That’s why the festival is called Elsie Fest, because it covers the song.”

“Modern Nature” by Sondre Lerche

“One of the great joys of being a younger brother is that you get to inherit the music of your elders. My brother and I were both really proactive consumers of music, so we would share stuff with each other all the time. But then he would come home from college, which is like coming home from a music festival essentially, right? He was in a new time zone with new people, so he’d bring home these mix CDs that he’d made from people that he’d heard about, and he brings home this guy named Sondre Lerche.

“Hearing this guy blew my mind, because he also was using jazz chords and drawing on musical theatre. Musical theatre’s a massive category, so I can’t just say that musical theatre sounds like one thing, but when I say this, I’m referring to The American Songbook, the jazz standard songbook. “Modern Nature” was a duet that I would go on to play many times with one of my oldest musical collaborators, Charlene Kaye. When we got to college and we both found out that we loved this guy.

“There was a much more whimsical way to how he wrote these songs. And what’s crazy is that loving this guy meant that we also loved Rufus Wainwright, that we also loved these other artists. But Sondre was the first time I considered that I loved that type of music, but I didn’t know that you could be a singer/songwriter and put out music that sounded like it.

“I don’t know if ‘twee’ is the right word to use, but with “Modern Nature” there was a playfulness about it, and again, a musicality that I really gravitated towards. There is a through line - there was a sophistication that was accessible, and me trying to learn those songs did make me rethink the way that I was writing music. The structures were weird and different and I liked that.

“To this day, I find myself writing songs that I think might be difficult for people to ingest, because they’re a little too left of centre, and I realise that I’m trying to write like Sondre Lerche, or I’m unconsciously just copying him.”

“Everything Happens to Me” by Mr Hudson & The Library

“I was in an H&M in Stockholm when I was 21, and I heard this really cool groove and the lyric was “Why must I always play the clown?” It was sung with a really thick British accent, had an 808 feel on it, and lyrically it had an attitude. Who would say something that sounds so like you’re in a Gilbert & Sullivan musical, but it feels hard? It was cool.

“I went home and looked this up and it was off the record A Tale of Two Cities by Mr Hudson and the Library, which would really, really fuck me up. I bought the album immediately because I loved this song. I had to order it on the internet because I couldn’t find it. It was doing well in England and he was on the festival circuit in the early-mid 2000s, but the first song on the album was a musical theatre cover with 808s.

“It was a pared-down, sort of a hip-hop version of “On The Street Where You Live” from My Fair Lady, and I’m like ‘No fucking way, this guy gets where my head is.’ I’d thought about punk rock musical theatre, but I never thought about 808s and 909s scoring these beautiful songs. I go down the track list and he has “Everything Happens to Me”, which is another very famous standard, and he had this really cool, what we would now call chill-hop, ‘study beats’ version of this song. I was like, ‘This is it. This guy gets that good music is good music and you can reinterpret it to offer it as a new song.’

“I would later become great friends with Mr Hudson. I got to meet him years later when I was with Columbia Records, and they said to me ‘Who do you want to meet?’ He was at the top of my list. I went to London and we’ve been friends ever since and have created all kinds of music together.

“He told me a story where Tyler the Creator went up to him once at Coachella and said, ‘Oh man, “Everything Happens To Me”, that’s like my song.’ We both wondered if Tyler the Creator knew that it was a Chet Baker cover. And we were thinking how cool it is that you can offer these songs to a new audience through a different lens. Tyler’s a smart guy, he’s very cultured, and I’m sure he did know. But it’s more the idea that if someone experienced this song and didn’t know that it was a cover, and this is like the first time they ever get to experience it.

“Mr Hudson would go on to do his own thing with Kanye and was on 808s & Heartbreak and has had his own career. I think “Supernova” was a hit in the UK, it didn’t really cross over here to The States, but before that moment for him, that Mr Hudson and The Library album changed my life. People use that phrase willy-nilly, but this literally was a turning point in my life. It all had to do with the same thing that happened with these other songs, where I saw someone do what I always wanted to do but didn’t really know how to pull off. Where he had this fusing of old songs delivered through a contemporary lens, but also laced it with his own original material that also employed the things that made that old songwriting interesting.

“It’s like changing the font of a great essay but finding the font and figuring out that that font is its own art form. He really displayed that marvellously on this.”

The Masquerade EP is out now

[rubykgrant]

As promised, I finally finished all my RVB pin-ups! (these are honestly pretty tame, mostly just cutesy poses and anatomy practice. I’m putting the full image under a cut below). I spent a couple of weeks drawing these, sometimes trying multiple poses until finally they looked right, and then I had to travel to scan the pictures... and the scanner was really wonky. It washed out certain colors, while over-saturating others. It was just really weird. So, the only solution was to try to edit and fix the scanned images on my computer, and since I only have MS Paint with no layers, this was a challenge. I basically had to add the colors, then go over my lines so they would be clear, and finally erase around the edges. It took another few days to fix them all, but I did it!

First up, is Leonard Church~

He gave me the most trouble... and why wouldn’t he? This CHURCH, after all. He lives to be difficult. I knew I wanted him to have the “mud-flap babe pose”, but I kept messing up his face, and didn’t realize how bad I messed up until after I inked and colored it in... at one point, I tried to re-draw the face and cut out the one that didn’t work, and paste the two pieces of paper together. It wasn’t worker, so I finally just traced over my own lines, did the face all over again, and he looked half-way decent. SO, I’m done with Church! Look at that smug expression, he knows he’s a jerk. Seriously though, I love how he turned out!

When it comes to his design, I have my whole RVB story-line with a scenario in which Church and Tex get to come back with synthetic human bodies (specifically, when the Epsilon AI was deconstructed, all of the data from his memories WENT somewhere; it was downloaded back into the original AI units, which weren’t “dead” after the EMP, just deactivated. revived by Epsilon’s data, all the AI were able to reactivate, including Alpha! now HE is the one who is carrying on with the memories another part of him left behind... whoops, that’s sad, but don’t worry! he now also has the chance to feel better~). His was based on the DNA of the Director, but he’s not a clone, exactly. There’s a similarity for sure, but they’d probably look more like brothers. Church is considerably shorter, and even when he was “fresh out of the oven”, he’s more chunky too. As time goes on and he’s able to eat REAL FOOD, Church gets nice and chubby. He also wanted to be strong enough to actually pick Tex up, so that was his whole motivation for muscles. He has fairly long hair at first, and later cuts and styles it to this (imagine it feels like a silky-soft hedgehog). He wound up with some face-fuzz, and wasn’t sure of he should keep it or not... he doesn’t want to seem like he intentionally looks like the Director, but also? If he tries to avoid looking like him on purpose, he’s still letting that dude influence his decisions. Church finally asked Carolina (only fair, because she has to look at him), and she said it kinda suits him, especially since he has a squared jaw. So, the face-fuzz stayed~