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di-daynamic · 2 years ago

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Title: those who have never sought it Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe Pairings: None. Warnings: Canon level violence. Trauma. Flashbacks of a sort Prompt: @badthingshappenbingo - Killing in Self-Defense @whumpcember - The End is Nigh and Desperation

Peter had just—

He’d killed. He’d activated the Instant Kill Mode.

He remembered asking Mr. Stark exactly what that setting was supposed to do. He’d been going through Karen’s coding in the lab, adding what Ned and he’d figured out for a sort of explosive GPS. They’d thought it might help with the Queens Arsonist.

Mr. Stark had looked solemn. He’d put away the fabricator to come talk to him. “Kid,” he’d said. “I dragged you to Germany. It was wrong of me, incredibly so, but I did. That was … the big leagues. Your groundwork is important, but things like that – they could get you killed.”

Peter had swallowed. He was hardly unaware of mortality. If burying empty coffins for his parents at age six hadn’t driven that lesson in, holding Ben as he bled out on the asphalt certainly had.

But Mr. Stark’s heavy tone spoke to horrors even beyond those. It reminded Peter of trying to figure out a way to dig a bullet out of himself one of his first weeks Spider-Manning, of being helpless as the Vulture’s claws choked the breath out of him and his vision blurred, of the sad, grave look on May’s face when she lost someone from FEAST or at the hospital, of the dark circles under Ned’s eyes after Peter woke up post two days in a medically induced coma, of inhaling dirt and sobbing desperately as he tried to hold up the collapsed warehouse.

Mr. Stark had clapped a hand on his shoulder tightly. “Instant Kill’s a last resort. It’s ridiculously dangerous, and Karen’s programmed to reflect that. But I’d rather you have that if there’s even the slightest chance it might help you someday.”

And now it was.

And Peter loathed it.

He didn’t want to kill.

It wasn’t that Peter didn’t respect people who he knew had killed. He knew Mr. Stark had killed many terrorists and aliens and blah blah blah. He was an Avenger, and that wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. He knew Miss Potts had killed Obadiah Stane and The Mandarin. Daredevil didn’t pull his punches with his villains. Deadpool was a straight up mercenary.

But the whole concept behind Spider-Man was that he showed mercy. He’d sworn before Uncle Ben’s grave that he would never walk past a tragedy he could prevent again.

And killing was always a tragedy. What right did Peter, seventeen-year-old high schooler, have to be judge, jury and executioner? The Vulture was a villain, but he was also Liz’s dad. How many others were like that?

Yet Peter stood now, with the world’s most powerful collection of rocks in his hand, swinging desperately and leaving dead bodies in his wake.

They were aliens, but they were sentient beings. Peter’s animal rights sensibilities brain screamed every time he punched one and one of his pincers killed them.

It’s self-defense, he told himself firmly. I have to do it. Just incapacitating them isn’t enough – they’ll just get back up. I don’t know how quick or well aliens get rejuvenated.

And now that he’d killed once – several times, in fact – he knew the option of killing would never leave his brain. Every time this happened, he would hesitate lesser and lesser to kill.

And the line between hero and villain – especially vigilante and villain, according to certain police officers and newspapers – was very thin.

Overwhelmed by his thoughts and the unending stream of hostiles trying to take the gauntlet, he cried out for help. He had about two seconds to fanboy over Captain America being able to wield Mjolnir and having a nickname for him before chaos reigned once more.

Miss Potts saved his life, and a very nice woman on a Pegasus. Peter rolled over, gasping for breath, trying to hide himself from the enemies who wanted the gauntlet.

This is going to end soon, he told himself. From his perspective, he’d fought at Titan with Mr. Stark and Dr. Strange and the Guardians of the Galaxy just to end up on Earth continuing the fight.

Dr. Strange had said it’d been five years, but that hadn’t really processed until he saw the older, more ragged version of Mr. Stark staring at him like he was a miracle, cradling his face like he was something precious, holding him like he would never let go, showing emotion in a way he would’ve never allowed himself to just a day – five years ago.

It had to end soon.

Dr. Strange had said that there was only once chance out of 14000605 that they won. This had to be it.

Right?

Anxiety roped through his chest, making it hard to breathe. The stones glinted in the dull lighting and off the blood and dirt. Pretty, he thought absently.

The blue one was obviously the Tesseract – the Space Stone, Dr. Strange had called it. Anybody who had the internet would know that one, after the Battle of New York.

The sandy one – the Mind Stone - he was used to seeing on Vision’s face. He wondered how Thanos had gotten it in the end. It hadn’t been in the Gauntlet on Titan.

The orange one sent chills down his body. He hadn’t known what it was prior to being turned into dust, but he certainly did now. He didn’t know how the others had felt it, but he’d felt his body disintegrating, the Soul Stone pulling him into its void.

The screams around him were intense. As discomposed as he was right now, he could hear everything. Mr. Stark’s repulsors – or were they Miss Potts’ or Colonel Rhodes’ or Princess Shuri’s? The whoosh at Ant-Man expanding or shrinking in size. The whirring in the spaceship above them. The flapping of the Pegasus’ wings. Parts of the Compound still collapsing. Someone asking for the Gauntlet.

Peter gave a strangled laugh. This was what was being fought over. The glove in his hand was one of the most - if not the most powerful - weapons in the universe.

Absurdly, he was reminded of playing Passing-the-Parcel in Abe Brown’s birthday party in third grade. He’d prayed not to get out. He supposed the stakes were just a tad higher in this game.

He heard repulsors whir again, and felt his stomach tighten. What would Miss Potts do if Mr Stark died? What would T’Challa do if Shuri died? What would Mr Stark do if Miss Potts or Colonel Rhodes died?

What would he do if Mr Stark died?

This was going to end soon. It had to.

But how was it going to end? What would happen?

What if Thanos showed up right now and snatched the gauntlet from him? What if the Squidward-lookalike turned up again?

The spaceship above them clanked and tumbled. He heard guns and satellites being loaded in there. What were they aiming at? Was he going to be blown up into the bits of dust and dirt he liked to imagine Ben was still watching him from?

He could know, he realized suddenly. He had a foolproof way right in his hands.

He remembered the way Dr. Strange spasmed while invoking the Time Stone, how he’d looked at Mr Stark and said solemnly that it was the only way before dying. He remembered learning about paradoxes and how knowing the future can sometimes be worse than not. He remembered the gauntlet coming into his hands on Titan, victory slipping through his fingers like fine sand. He remembered begging Mr Stark to save him as he fell apart.

He looked back at the Stones. They glowed tantalizingly.

There was a plan, he thought. Something about a van and a time machine. How could he know better than so many experienced heroes?

But then. He remembered reading about Sokovia. He remembered kneeling in front of Ben as he gasped his dying breaths. He remembered sobbing with desperation and cleaning dirt encrusted blood off his arms later.

He remembered the choked cry the first alien he had killed had let out right before they stopped breathing.

Never again.

He dug out the green glowing Time Stone from the gauntlet, thankful for his super strength, and on an afterthought took the red and purple ones too.

He wanted to change reality, after all. And that would take a lot of power.

He wasn’t sure how to use the stones. Dr. Strange was the time keeper and Thanos had just waved his hand around to use them.

He felt the sheer power, the radiation eating away at his body and spirit. His Spider-sense rang like a bell.

Thoughts, memories, emotions swirled around him in a vortex.

I am never walking past another tragedy I can prevent.

I don’t want to ever kill again.

—And another Parker grave added to the set —

May. Ned. Mr Stark. MJ. They have to be okay.

—And Ben was dying again, his blood spilling over his hands and their clothes and the dirt —

What is going to happen?

—And May was saying “It’s just me and you” —

How do we win?

—And Ned and he were high-fiving as they opened their acceptance letters to Midtown —

W H A T D O I H A V E T O D O

— And Mr Stark was scolding him for being reckless while patching him up as he tried to convince him that building a lightsaber would be a great idea —

H O W D O I M A K E S U R E

—And Ned was screaming in excitement as he swung from the building and saved someone else from the fire —

I N E E D T O K N O W

—And he was brushing the spider off after the sudden sting, impatient and wanting to re-join the tour group—

D O I N E E D T O C H A N G E A N Y T H I N G

—And he’d just accidentally broken down a door and was staring at it in bewilderment—

G O O O D M U S T P R E V A I L

—And MJ was smirking at him right after driving Flash away and tossing him a drawing of him ‘in crisis’—

A H A P P Y E N D I N G?

He blinked his eyes open.

His eyelids felt unusually heavy.

“Peter Benjamin Parker,” A voice mused, and suddenly Peter knew who he was and what he was doing there.

“Son of Mary and Richard,” Another voice joined.

“Beloved of Maybelle and Benjamin and Anthony and Edward and Michelle and Morgan,” A third added.

“We hear your request,” All three chorused.

Peter stumbled to his feet, wrung out. He wasn’t sure where the hell he was. He wasn’t sure of anything – least of all how he felt after that rollercoaster of memories and sensations.

“So, you’re going to grant it--?” He asked awkwardly.

The view shook like it was an optical illusion. The part that didn’t was the cemetery – where his parents and Ben were laid to rest. One moment the three were humanoid figures. The next they were large rocks. They glowed the colour of the Infinty Stones.

Peter couldn’t feel his body or his Spidey Sense, but he could somehow tell the one which was speaking was faintly amused. “Why wouldn’t we?”

“It’s opposing the previous thing you did,” he pointed out. “Or – well, I don’t know if it counts because you’re from the past—”

“We are infinity, child,” one said indifferently. “What would that matter?”

“We merely perform the functions for which we were created,” the third said. “Which includes following the orders of the worthy. The Timekeeper – Stephen Strange – proved himself by showing perseverance, accepting the death of his mentor, and mastering the Mystic Arts. Thanos did by being powerful, determined and a leader enough to collect all of us despite the sacrifices and struggles he had to go through. Anthony Stark would have proven himself by being willing to give up everything, through his sheer will and love.”

Mr Stark would have what--?

“What would the nature of the command do to us?” The first one said idly, still sounding amused. “Whatever happens, whatever goes on in the universes – Time, Space, Mind, Power, Soul and Reality remain constant.”

“Though not so much in this case,” The third continued, “You do wish to mold reality, child?”

Peter felt his ghosts pressing into him. It was his mom and dad, teaching him to become who he was, Uncle Ben who handed over the most important lesson of his life, Aunt May who endured and loved, Ned who was steadfast, Mr Stark who understood and equipped. “Whatever it takes.”

They considered him. “So young,” they hissed as one. “To be carrying the burdens of so many.”

And then suddenly Peter wasn’t in that limbo – he was Carol Danvers who felt a smug sense of satisfaction at blowing up the ship and empathy for teenage superhero Peter Parker; he was Steve Rogers who became worthy of Mjolnir and fought to the bitter end and his happy ending; he was Tony Stark who looked over the compound and thought of his family and decided it was worth it; he was May Parker looming helplessly over her nephew as he grieved at the funeral of someone else he loved; he was Morgan Stark as she stared at the stars and grew up; he was Sam Wilson being handed a legacy; he was T’Challa learning to rule a kingdom he’d been absent from five years; he was Yelena Belova and screaming and raging at the unfairness of the world; he was America Chavez traversing one universe after another in search of something she couldn’t name; he was Ned Leeds discovering magic; he was May Parker reinforcing her husband’s lesson; he was Michelle Jones watching helplessly as the boy she loved disappeared from the world and her mind; he was Peter Parker deciding not to involve the people he loved in his mess; he was Johnny Storm agreeing lazily to a trip in space; he was Queen Shuri screaming her grief into the world and meeting T’Challa the second; he was Jane Foster hoping for a cancer treatment; he was Thor looking for life’s meaning again; he was Shang-Chi being sent on the mission that would change life forever; he was Captain Monica Rambeau getting sucked into the Scarlet Witch’s world; he was Jennifer Walters getting powers; he was Wanda Maximoff destroying Mount Wundagore – he was so many and no one at all at once.

He was Peter Parker crouched in the ditch in the battlefield in the Battle of Earth, Peter Parker at Tony Stark’s funeral, Peter Parker stumbling over his words to confess his feelings to MJ before she pointed out the drone, Peter Parker holding his aunt’s body begging her to wake up, Peter Parker meeting his dimensional counterparts and thinking family, Peter Parker at the Statue of Liberty, Peter Parker kissing Johnny Storm as the world ended, Peter Parker going out in a burst of explosions and glory against Kang. He was all of them and yet someone new.

Peter blinked. His eyelids were surprisingly heavy. His brain tried to reorganize itself from the scrambled mess it had become, hurriedly trying to incorporate the injected memories.

He’d asked what would happen.

He supposed he’d gotten his answer.

“I think you broke the boy,” The perpetually amused one said interestedly.

“I’m fine,” Peter said. He thought his throat would be dry if he could actually feel it. “I. . .”

In the end, it wasn’t all bad. Thanos would die. Kingpin would be defeated as the Vulture was. The Incursion would be prevented. Beyonder, Titania and the others of the alliance would fall. Kang’s reign would be ended. Humanity would push on as it always did, cockroaches in the fabric of reality.

But in the meantime. . . So much suffering. So much pain. So much tragedy that could be prevented.

But what could he do? He was just one person. Sure, he’d been and would be important in fights and confrontations that changed the world, but he couldn’t singlehandedly overturn every single disaster, much less ones of as epic proportions as Thanos and the Alliance and Infinity Ultron and Kang.

“A happy ending,” The apathetic one mulled over the words. “That was your wish. How would you propose that happen?”

“I guess I’ll go back and try to prevent some of the worse things from happening. . .?” Peter volunteered, entirely unenthused about the prospect. How was he supposed to stop Mr Stark from snapping? Or Wanda from going crazy with grief? Or Wilson Fisk from running the mafia?

What even qualified as bad things? Johnny getting his powers had been traumatic, but he’d later helped save the world multiple times and – Peter would’ve blushed if he could’ve. He thought the Human Torch had been happy by the end.

Peter suddenly felt sick and wished fervently he hadn’t done this. He had no idea what to do or how to resolve any of the numerous moral quandaries he needed to in order to progress. He'd killed. He'd taken life. Surely that should have gotten rid of some of his ethics?

“Would that give you your happy ending?” The third – the humane - one inquired. “Everyone you care for alive? The world saved?”

Peter was motionless and he felt his Spidey Sense give a long warble before curling down to settle.

If you expect disappointment, then you can never really get disappointed.

Everyone wants a happy ending, right?

Everything Spider-Man touches comes to ruin.

Okay, so let ‘em do their thing. You can go work on a fallback plan.

Strong enough to have it all, too weak to take it.

If you’re nothing without the suit, you shouldn’t have it.

You have a gift. You have power. And with great power, there must also come great responsibility.

“What do you want me to do?” He asked, resigned.

“’Want me to do’,” The amused one said, savouring each word. “Nothing, boy. But it was your wish to have your happy ending.”

“And that isn’t possible in this timeline,” the humane one continued.

Peter had to agree. He hated it, but he agreed. Even if he snapped right now instead of Mr Stark, EDITH existed and Quentin Beck would want it, the Multiverse would still break but instead of him some poor sorcerer apprentice would be caught up in it, without him around Fisk would be a lot more open with his general shadiness, Shuri would still lose everything, MJ and Ned would still get caught up in some nonsense because they were people with large hearts and a deep intelligence and he wouldn’t be there to save them, and without his sacrifice Kang might be able to get the edge on them.

Peter was one insignificant soul – but in the grand scale of things he did matter.

“So what do I do?”

“You picked up Time, Power and me,” The indifferent one – Reality, apparently – said. “What was your intention there?”

“Um,” Peter said dumbly. “Dr. Strange used the – Time to see the future, which is what I wanted to do. And I wanted to change it if I needed to so Reality – you.”

“And you thought I would be necessary to do that,” The amused one, Power, said.

“Which is fair enough,” Time, the humane one, said. “Since that is what allows us to do this.”

“Do what?” Peter asked, alarm stirring. His Sense gave a light buzz but didn’t tingle, which probably meant this wasn’t going to harm him.

“Peter Benjamin Parker,” Power thundered.

“Bearer of the gauntlet,” Time said.

“Holder of Infinity,” Reality announced.

“You will be sent back to your body on the date of May 23rd 2016,” Time glowed oddly at the words.

Peter was still stuck on the point. “Wait – time travel? Like Back to the Future? Or Peggy Sue got married?”

“You did agree that The Battle of the Earth is a point of no return for your happy ending,” Reality pointed out boredly. “The only logical conclusion is to therefore send you to sometime where you can work towards it.”

“Foster better relationships with the other Avengers and diplomacy with alien planets,” Power said, like he – she – they – it? Was ticking items off a list. “Take down Kingpin and Vulture sooner. Stabilize the multiverse.”

“You say that like it’s simple,” Peter said vaguely – but his mind was whirring.

There were so many things he could do better. So much he could make easier for Ned and Mr Stark and Dr. Strange and the Avengers.

The chance to have a do-over was something people would give anything for. Excitement and panic began to build up. Something occurred to him. “Why May 2016? Why – why not before?”

Ben, he thought longingly. Ben had died in January. He could go back. He could - he could save him, apologize to him, see him again—

“I’m afraid that’s not possible,” Time said gently. “The day you met Anthony Stark is the day you were set on this path. Your being bitten by the spider and Benjamin Parker’s death are universal constants. Them being changed would be too much too quick.”

Peter swallowed his bitterness and the stinging in his eyes. He supposed his parents’ and Ben’s survival would be too much to ask.

The world is unfair, he thought, remembering MJ telling him she loved him on Liberty Island, the blood and dirt and the light fading from the eyes of Ben and Mr Stark and May, Ned’s desolate eyes when he’d learned his dad’s fate, the way Shuri screamed when her mother died, Johnny’s final supernova, dying in pain and alone without knowing Kang had been defeated, but it’s ours. I have power. Power to change everything, to give us a happier ending. The end is close, but so is a new beginning. I have a responsibility to everyone who doesn’t have that power.

“Okay,” he said, taking a deep breath and steeling himself. “I’m doing this.”

“Excellent,” Reality said briskly. “Now—”

“You must choose your companions,” Power said, voice light. “Whom will you choose?”

“W-What do you mean?” Peter asked, thrown off.

“You may choose five companions,” Reality said.

“One for each of us,” Power said.

“I can choose?” he asked, bewildered.

“Your happy ending,” Reality reminded him brightly. “Your choice.”

His happy ending. That had been his final, most fervent wish when handling the Stones. No wonder they were harping on that so much.

Peter wished he could feel his corporeal body, because he really wanted to pinch himself. Aliens, space, Infinity Stones. . . It was hard to believe only a day ago to him he’d been on a field trip to MoMA listening to Flash moan about the horrid bus conditions.

But how the hell could he choose?

He needed people whom he trusted, but who would also be ready to give everything up to save the world.

Peter wasn’t unaware of what he was doing. He may be dazed, but he was a smart kid, as Mr Stark often told him. He was giving up his May, his Ned, his MJ, his Johnny, his Shuri, his Matt, his Wade, the life that would have been his – tragic, sure, but also filled with love and laughter and heroism.

He needed to find people who would have been worse off if this timeline continued.

One choice was instant. He ticked all the boxes, and he was one of the people Peter loved and trusted most in the world. “Mr Stark.”

The Stones gave no sign as to what their opinion of his choice was.

Mr Stark covered the Avengers, and earthly heroes. If he needed to build bridges with aliens and maintain the multiverse, he needed people experienced in that – “Dr. Strange.” He remembered the future he saw for Dr. Strange. He liked America Chavez, from what he’d seen of her, and hoped the doctor would be able to find her sooner.

Two safe ones. Now to shake the boat a bit.

Aliens were harder. He supposed one of the Guardians of the Galaxy would do, but he couldn’t think of how they might have any power over the entirety of space. He considered Thor – Thor, the strongest, the god of thunder, Peter’s bi reveal – but what he needed was someone subtler. Someone sneakier. Someone who practiced magic.

Controversial, but he’d died. Peter thought he could cut him some slack. “Loki.”

Avengers. Aliens. Multiverse. For the street level, though. . . . He needed someone with power on the business side of things. Someone who was strong, who had managed Stark Industries and its trade and resources with other planets and countries for years after becoming a widow. Someone without whom Morgan – Morgan, his beloved little sister – couldn’t exist. “Mrs. Potts.”

Peter suddenly realized he’d already filled four spots. He only had one left. He longed to say May or Ned. May and Ned, who had been there with him since his parents had died nearly a decade ago. May and Ned, the two people whom he loved most in the world. May and Ned, who were invaluable to him, but held no significant power when it came to changing the world.

Peter closed his eyes to prevent the rush of tears. It seemed his physicality could change when he felt devastation. With these words, he was losing his emotional support as he knew them. May would go back to being the fun aunt who had no idea he was Spider-Man. Ned would be the happy-go-lucky best friend, not the traumatized sorcerer and programmer who’d grown with him and faced multiversal dangers.

This is my power. This is my responsibility. The Green Goblin was wrong. I am Spider-Man.

“Shuri.” Shuri, his friend, who had lost everything the way Peter had. She deserved a chance for a do-over too. And she could help advance technology to the level it was in space, and help T’Challa and Mr Stark and Mrs Potts influence the UN and the wider world.

“Wise choices,” Reality said, for once sounding solemn.

“And you did not choose selfishly,” Power observed. “Very well, Peter Parker. The best of luck on your mission. We have fulfilled your desire to the best of our abilities.”

“Your happy ending, your future is now up to you,” Reality said, once more sounding entertained.

“Selflessness must be rewarded.” Time said. “And so as a final gift: knowledge of the Time Variance Authority. And Edward Leeds.”

Peter’s blood rushed through his head as more knowledge filled it, and simultaneously joy and relief sprung through him. Ned.

The world filled with the colours of infinity.

It looked like the Soul Stone’s realm.

The six people he’d chosen stood in front of him.

“Pete?” Mr Stark asked, sounding confused. “What’s going on?”

Peter straightened with glorious purpose.

My power. My responsibility.

My happy ending.

“We have a mission,” he began.

#bad things happen bingo #whumpcember #mcu peter parker #mcu fandom #peter parker #fanfiction #ao3 fic #canon divergent au #avengers endgame #irondad #infinity stones #time travel

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cloverthecuddlycactus · 2 years ago

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My Thoughts on Genshin Characters

Albedo

These will be broken up into thirds to help organize my thought process of: my general all around thoughts, what kind of relationship I would have with them if I was in the gi universe, and what I think of their character stories and background

My general scrambled thoughts

I didn't really care for Albedo tbh

He wasn't bad and I didn't dislike him he was just kind of meh?

But then I found out he was essentially a homunculus and adores Klee.

Like sure, you're so stoic and only care about research and yet you have all but adopted this arsonistic child (affectionately)

As well as his search for knowledge. I personally really understand this because I always have needed to learn about everything around me

I always felt on the outside of society and still do.

I wanted to pick peoples brains apart figuratively and literally

I always wanted to learn about nature and animals and still do

But I feel like him and I would get along in this sense that we both share this intense need for knowledge

And he only learns about things that interest him as well, I hate being forced to learn something I care nothing about and will promptly forget when it is no longer of use

I just think it would be neat to learn about some animals or plant species together

He's also an artist! I used to make art all the time but have since lost my passion for it

If I were in the genshin universe I would love to hang out with him. I feel like his main love language would be differing quality time. Like you're in the same area but aren't doing the same thing and just sharing space and everyone once in awhile looking over and asking "how's it going?" And no need for much more conversation

Or we would both be losing our minds over some new found species and we will not shut up about it, no inbetween

Also of I were in the genshin universe, all Characters under 20 would immediately become my children in some form or another whether I just visit and bring presents and spend a lil time before I'm off or they travel with me, they are all my kids.

And Albedo likes kids more than adults and I feel like it's because they don't see him as anything less than a person or don't hold these ridiculous expectations of him and expect him to be this genius all the time either

He's not stone cold tho, he has friends but I feel he has the same worries I do and that's they will leave eventually because we can't give them what they want so we keep ourselves away

He's said that he thinks keeping up friendships with adults is tiresome and yeah, it really is

But I do think it shows a very strong sense of maturity and wisdom that he has some friends in Mondstadt

Even if they don't know him super personally they are there, such as Kaeya and Jean, and they've expressed many times that they'll be there for him whenever he's ready to open up

I think something else that I admire about him aswell is that he's not super cranky or rude to people

Alot of people who have a lot of knowledge tend to forget that others do not know all of these things they know and look down on them bc they forget that they were once there too and lacked this knowledge

Albedo doesn't do that

He balances on a tightrope of secrecy, high intelligence, and never ending kindness. All of his dealings and interactions with other folks are in earnest. Which I respect him for bc I have a hard time being nice to people on certain topics bc I feel it should be common sense or blah blah blah blah

But ya know he never hesitates to lend a hand when someone needs it or asks for it bc he has the mindset of "I have you need it here ya go"

And he's so kind to his assistants Sucrose and Timaeus too

Not only that but alchemy is considered an ancient practice!! That must have been so hard and grueling for him to accomplish! As well as it's been stated that he has knowledge that not even scholars at the akademiya in Sumeru have

And he has such and important job among the ranks of the The Knights of Favonius as well

Just all around mad respect for the man honestly he's everything I want to be in life

In Universe Relationship

If I were just like Aether, Lumine, or Aloy and was a traveler from another world I feel we would get along and be pretty good friends

I would love to bring him pictures whether sketches I've made or actual Polaroid type photographs of me and the kid's adventures in the other lands of teyvat whenever we come back to visit Mondstadt.

I would love to go up into the mountains and ask about any of his findings while we were away and tell him about our adventures. Spend like a week at his research facility with him catching up.

He would be great with the kids too. He would be so helpful

The first kid I adopted was Razor (ill write about that later) and Albedo would be so understanding that Razor can't speak very good English yet and would help him out whenever we're around. And Albedo likes to look at the interactions of people around him so he would have a plethora of knowledge on how to act around people and I bet he would even make a book especially for Razor that has some social stuff in it.

Diona was the second and he would be so understanding of her views but I think he would help her break out of them, such as all people who drink are bad and how awful Mondstadt is for allowing her life to be this way. He would effortlessly help me help her with her anger at Mondstadt and shift it to determination do make her life better. She would no longer be a victim.

Of course Klee and how endearing he acts towards her and her destructive tendencies.

Albedo would be good with Bennett as well and probably ask Bennett to like heat up something for an experiment and help Bennett maybe learn to relax and trust himself that he can in fact control his Pyro vision.

Barbara would be great as well I think learning about so many new things would open up her mind GREATLY and she would probably end up pursuing a life of like science or healing outside of the church in some way and not be brainwashed into the Cult that the church in Mondstadt very obviously is. It would probably spark an interest for her to join us in traveling and learning about all the different things in the world .

Albedo would also be really good at listening to the kids when they talk about something exciting that happened while we were gone and be very kind in explaining anything to them that they wanted to learn about. I feel like he would be a great teacher.

I would also love to learn from him and hear him talk and explain things as well. I really look up to him so it would be very much of a mentor/mentee relationship but I'm like an old student of his that's grown up and we are on more equal terms ya know.

He sees me as like and adult and treats me like one and we're good freinds but he never stops teaching me

I also headcanon him as aromantic, he just never really thinks of romance and just thinks of caring about people and helping them out in general and having a general love for life and all the forms it takes

Character Story

What we know of his character so far is pretty neat actually.

So far he is the only non-organic person in genshin kinda???

He was made in a lab, he was a test tube baby so to speak ya know and I think that the fact that he is as emotionally intelligent as he is is amazing as well

He knows how to handle his emotions and how to take care of himself and what kind of relationships he can have with people and how many before he starts getting burnt out.

He also has ancient knowledge that no one else has and that's pretty neat.

I also like that the devs didn't go the route of him having no emotions at all and making him hateful and rude. I really like that they decided to make him so compassionate

#genshin impact #gi #genshin albedo #gi albedo #genshin impact albedo #albedo

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thewingedmuse · 2 years ago

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💭💌 )

dina, what would loki think abt me, ++ a long rant abt godzilla. FIRSTLY, godzilla would either step on you by accident ( and wouldnt even say “whoopsies!!! what a silly goofy mistakw teehee” like a CIVILIZED radioactive arsonist would ) or would spray his flaming hot cheeto breath all over you. im sorry but its true. unless youre mothra ( they were dating right ) bro will treat you like an average citizen in a burning city. if you proved yourself worthy enough hed probably just look at you and sorta give u mercy by walking away a bit BUT THATS UNREALISTIC and imo godzilla always looked like he had a lot of fun blowing up places. me too hinestly hashtag arson 4 life hashtag i love being a public menace hashtag skincare OK SORRY IM RUNNING ON 3 CUPS OF COFFEE RN THANK YOU AND BYE

Hello Dina, thank you for joining if only I've known you, and thank you for your exchange. That's very befitting of Godzilla's animal aspect, so it's pretty logical. And you are so funny xD thank you for giving me a good chuckle out of this! Now, onto your reading! 💚

Cards: Judgement (r), Ace of Wands (r)

Loki would love your wicked sense of humour! He would think you're a prankster just like him, and would love to see more of your antics (even participate in them). This energy he feels of you feels like an upside-down room, it is a very peculiar and intriguing energy. He thinks you're someone who thinks outside the box. Your eyes twinkle with mischief? There could be times you would be shy and try to behave like a normal person but those mischievous eyes betray you lol. He'd love to have you as a friend or maybe a partner-in-crime (if you could catch up, he says). He also thinks that you might have a hidden motive but doesn't everyone? He certainly isn't as innocent as a lamb himself, so whatever your aim is he does intend to stay to find out (and enjoy the fun in the process).

To him, you feel disorienting in a fun way like the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland. This vibe of yours sets you apart from other people. You could at times be pensive; sentimental he says. He'd frown when you frown in an attempt to mirror you and get you to feel in sync with him, therefore helping you open up to him, if not reach a common understanding.

I hope you enjoyed your reading. Feel free to let me know what you think. Have a nice day.

#asks #thewingedmuse:ifonly🍷

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linawritesocs · 2 years ago

Text

roland's birthday ssr vignette!

it's the gardener dad's birthday!! :D i almost forgot about his vignette actually

also.. tbh i think i'm gonna go back to actually drawing their birthday ssrs. because finding a picrew that fits all of my characters is way too hard, some most of them don't have things like different skin colors, freckles, moles, etc or simply don't have their energy (for example, maybe i want my oc to look more mature, but that picrew has a more cutesy art style). so yeah, more lina art!!

and yes ignore roland's eyepatch covering the wrong eye and his outfit looking like the nrc one.

[ part 1 ]

[ wisbene dorm lounge - birthday venue ]

seth: heyyy, roland-chan! happy birthday!

roland: oh, seth-kun, you're here too?

roland: i didn't expect a nrc student to show up for my birthday, haha.

seth: come on, you know me, i love hanging out with rsa students, y'all are my friends too!

seth: also, i'm one of the few nrc students who is loved by the rsa guys, so it's okay for me to be here!

seth: but wow, does this mean that you were worried about me? that's so cute~

roland: you're right, rsa students actually like you a lot.

seth: ohh, i love what you did with your hair!

roland: thank you. neige-kun was the one to help me with it, actually.

seth: oh, oh, are you two friends or something?

roland: u-um, i wouldn't say that we're friends.. but neige-kun is one of those rsa students who are very nice to me..

roland: and as you already know, i'm not that popular, haha..

roland: i have no idea why he's so nice to me though. maybe it's because we're from the same dorm.

seth: or maybe it's because neige-chan is just that type of guy. he's nice to literally everyone, i can imagine him wanting to become friends even with a mass murderer or an arsonist.

seth: that's why i like him so much, he's so sweet, he always forgives me for everything~

roland: .. did you just imply that you've actually done something bad?

seth: anyway, i think we should get started with your interview already.

roland: oh, you're right, sorry.

roland: i just noticed the microphone you have with you.

seth: you did? i'm so glad, isn't it, like, super pretty? i did such a good job!

roland: of course, you were the one who made it look like this. you really are creative, seth-kun.

seth: thank you, thank you~

seth: so, the first question.. oh, i don't like this one.

roland: really? why?

seth: i ask this question almost every single time, i'm getting tired of it.

roland: hm.. then maybe you should ask me something else?

roland: i'm okay with anything, you know, as long as you're having fun.

seth: you're so nice, roland-chan..

seth: okay! now, roland-chan, can you tell me a fun story from your childhood?

roland: .. o-oh.

seth: please don't tell me you have a tragic backstory too.

roland: n-no, it's just..

roland: well, i wasn't exactly a "good kid".

seth: oh, so you were in your "problematic era"?

roland: no, i was in my problematic era when i just started attending nrc.

seth: wait, you're right.

seth: it's okay if you don't want to talk about it though-

roland: no, no, it's fine. if i keep avoiding the topics that make me uncomfortable, i won't be able to answer any of your questions. *laughs*

roland: so.. i don't really have a "fun story", but i will tell you this. i loved to cause trouble back then. i was that kid who loved to prank everyone, even the old people.

seth: i see, i see..

roland: even the nice old people.

seth: oh no.

roland: my parents didn't really try to stop me, they actually kind of.. encouraged it.

roland: oh, i don't mean it in a "you go son, go and prank that poor old woman!" way, i mean it.. it's like they just pretended not to see it. they spoiled me a lot too, so i never got punished for my actions.

roland: maybe if they were more strict with me, i would become a better person..

seth: hey, don't think about it like that, okay? it just means that they loved you a lot.

roland: haha, maybe you're right.

roland: .. or maybe it just means that they were too scared to stop me.

[ part 2 ]

seth: okay, let's talk about something else then. what about your hobbies? you're into gardening, right?

seth: i mean, you obviously like it, you're the gardening club president, after all..

roland: well, actually, i'm not that good at it.

roland: most of my plants end up dying very quickly and i have no idea why.

roland: avery-kun just says that i'm too dumb to take care of them properly, haha. maybe he's right.

seth: okay, avery-chan is one of the cutest boys i've ever met, but i want to slap him for this.

seth: but hey, at least you find gardening fun, right?

roland: .. not really.

roland: no, don't get me wrong, i don't regret creating my club, but.. i've actually never been a fan of gardening.

seth: um, but why did you go for a club like that, then?

roland: i-i'd prefer not to say it.

seth: okay, fine, let's not talk about that.

seth: but why do you dislike gardening though? i always wanted to try it-

roland: because of the dirt. i hate getting my hands dirty.

seth: .. um, just wear gloves or something?

roland: but then my gloves will get dirty!

seth: but your hands will be fine??

roland: you don't get it, seth-kun, it's just.. so gross..

seth: what, are you scared of germs or something like that?

roland: i don't think so? maybe? i'm not really worried about getting sick, it's more about.. uh.. the texture?

seth: fine, fine, whatever.

seth: wow, you're much harder to interview than i expected.

roland: .. i'm sorry. i'm so sorry about that.

roland: i'll try to come up with something more interesting-

seth: hey, it's my job as an interviewer to come up with interesting questions!

seth: let's see.. how do you feel about birthdays in general? like, do you enjoy celebrating them? or do you hate them?

roland: well, i'm mostly okay with them. i'm not really a huge fan of birthdays, but it's not like i hate them.

roland: i prefer to celebrate other people's birthdays than mine, though. but it wasn't always like that, i was a very selfish kid in the past, haha.

roland: now i just.. don't really like being the center of attention, i guess.

seth: aww, are you shy?

roland: maybe. but it's more like.. i feel like i just don't deserve it.

seth: huh? what do you mean by that?

roland: next question, please.

seth: oh, um.. okay.

[ part 3 ]

seth: so, did anyone else wish you a happy birthday today?

seth: wait, is that a bad question too? i forgot about your reputation for a second-

roland: haha, don't worry, you're fine.

roland: as i mentioned before, neige-kun helped me out with my hairstyle and he also wished me a happy birthday and got me a gift too.

seth: oh, oh, what is it?

roland: he got me this really cute sweater, he knitted it himself.

roland: and he actually did a very good job with it.

seth: that's so cool! ugh, i'm jealous now. i wish i got a cute gift like that from neige-chan too..

roland: hey, it's okay. i'm sure he will get you something nice for your birthday too.

seth: but i don't wanna wait! why can't he get me a gift just for.. you know..

seth: i think i deserve a gift for being so cute!

roland: haha, you sure do.

roland: as for other students.. most of them didn't even look at me today.

roland: oh, but emile-kun wished me a happy birthday too!

roland: and i got a letter from lilia-kun earlier today, he got me a new eyepatch too, hehe~ it's heart-shaped, i think you will like it.

seth: and what about avery-chan?

roland: he texted me and said that he wants to meet up with me later, so i'm very excited to see him.

seth: i see! it's nice to hear that he still cares about you.

roland: by the way, is he doing alright? i'm so worried about him..

seth: he's fine~ with a prefect like me, nrc students don't have to worry about anything!

roland: but what about all those overblots-

seth: hey, is there a particular person that you'd like to receive a gift from?

seth: you know, like a crush or a friend who didn't get you anything yet?

roland: .. well, there is one. but i'm sure she didn't even remember about my birthday.

roland: it's fine though. i know she doesn't care about me that much, she only cares about that stupid dragon guy and i'm not talking about malleus-

seth: it's medi-chan, isn't it.

roland: .. yes.

seth: come on, man, you have to get over her! i agree, she's very pretty, but i'm sure you'll find someone even better than her one day!

roland: you know it's not just about her looks, right?

seth: i do, but i just have nothing else to say about her, we're not that close.

roland: y-you're quite an honest guy, aren't you..

seth: oh, actually, what's your type, roland-chan?

seth: maybe i can help you and match you up with someone!

roland: ...

roland: i'd rather not talk about it-

seth: don't be shy, i'm sure you have a type! oh, and i won't tell anyone about it, if you don't want to!

roland: well, uh..

roland: i just really want a kind and understanding girlfriend who won't judge me for my past.

roland: i know i'm probably asking too much and i don't deserve someone like that as my partner.

seth: *sobs*

roland: s-seth-kun, are you crying?

seth: it's just.. *keeps sobbing* you totally deserve someone like that, roland-chan! you totally do!

seth: and we're gonna find you someone like that! trust me, you're in good hands!

roland: you really don't have to help me with that..

seth: but i will help you simply because i want to! and you better be grateful!

seth: .. wait, you mentioned that you'd want a girlfriend like that, right.

roland: yes, is there something wrong?

seth: oh, nothing.

seth: *thinking* "i was about to say that neige-chan sounds a lot like his type.. oh well, i guess i still have a chance with neige-chan then~"

seth: okay, roland-chan, i think it's time for me to go. thank you so much for answering my questions!

roland: but.. i didn't really tell you anything interesting about myself.

roland: i just kept saying stuff like "oh, i'm uncomfortable with this topic" or "i don't want to talk about it".

seth: so what? it's not just about me having fun, i want you to enjoy this too.

seth: and if i found you boring, i would tell you that a long time ago, trust me.

seth: also, we can just say that being mysterious is a part of your charm.

roland: c-charm?..

seth: okay, that's it, bye-bye~ and once again, happy birthday, roland-chan!

#the gardening club leader: roland thorn #the isolated prince: seth #friends' ocs!

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slymewitch · 1 year ago

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@f4y3w00d5 you have been my closest friend on the site. I love rping with you and your morally ambiguous characters and just goofing around with you in general. And even outside of rp, you’re one of the coolest, nicest, and funnest people I’ve ever met. Thank you.

@the-gnomish-bastard if it werent for you I would never have even started talking to people. You allowed me to rp with you even though I was new. Thank you for your service as a bastard. I strive to be more bastardlike every day if it means being like you. Thank you.

@combustion-wizard you were my first wizard mentor. I would not have participated in wizardblr nearly as much if not for you. You made me feel truly welcomed into the community. Thank you.

@aileaxthevoidien I know we don’t talk all that much but every time we do is an absolute joy. You are a super nice and cool dude, and your OC is amazing. Thank you.

@monsterfucker-research-wizard not gonna lie I was scared of you for a while. But once I started talking to you, you were super nice and cool! I always knew you were cool of course don’t beg me wrong, but I felt like I wasn’t cool enough to hang out with you. But you were completely open and accepting of me when I want to do rp stuff and that means a lot. Thank you.

@villainessbian you are my newest mentor, and you’ve already taught me so much about tapping into my inner evilness, (/pos). Jokes aside, you have give amazing advice have legitimately taught me a lot. Also I lied, your puns are funny. And your glasses are amazing. Thank you.

@ashen-the-tiefling We didnt really talk that much until recently, but now that we are, you’re one of the chillest people I’ve talked to here. And I am honored that you chose my OC to date your OC. I still remember the recipe for gold you gave me. Thank you.

@thatgayforkcrow you always know what to say when Im feeling down, and you’re really great to talk to. Also you’re like, REALLY stylish. Thank you.

@evil-wild-lesbian-wizard you taught me how witchcraft works, you didn’t hex me (even though I kind of wanted to be for science), and you promised not to kill my friend when you invade Canada. Also you’re really chill and funny and I love talking to you. Thank you.

@lixorloveslicorice you are one of THE nicest and most supportive people Ive ever met. Ive said this before, but you are the reason I felt comfortable opening up here, and felt like I could overcome my anxiety long enough to make some friends. THANK YOU.

@drew-bard-for-hire Ive only really started talking to you recently, but you’re so amazingly supportive and nice and I like talking to you. Your character is so fun and cool and you’re just a cool person to talk to. You understand my problems and never judge me. Thank you.

@nebulaaaaaa I followed your blog for a while and thought you were really cool, and it turns out I was completely right, except you’re even cooler! In the span of 3 days you’ve become one of my closest friends here. And you’ve introduced me to so many other awesome friends. You are awesome and amazing. Thank you.

@tranny-physiccs Its getting hard to come up with different ways of saying “nice and awesome and cool and supportive” but you are nice and awesome and cool and supportive. And we’ve only known eachother for like a day! And in that time you’ve been an amazing friend already. Also you have based opinions on Adventure Time and birds. Thank you.

@gobodegoblin I am so excited to learn how to speak goblish. Your backstory is so cool and even though we’ve only hung out once I would love to again sometime. Thank you.

@transbian-arsonist I don’t know you very well at this point but you like sneks and thats important. I look forward to becoming good friends :3 thank you.

You have all made my short time (so far) on this hellsite amazing and the most fun Ive had in a very long time. And I look forward to the many many years I have yet to spend alongside you, and the many friends I have yet to meet. My mental health has gotten far better because of all of you. For the first time in years, I dont feel afraid to talk to people. And I owe it all to you.

From the bottom of my heart, Thank You.

I love you all <3

Mutuals Loving Hours

Okay this might be a sappy so...beware as I gush about my mutuals!!

I have so many things I want to say to everyone, so much I would love to tell you face to face. So many reassurances and encouraging words that I would have to write a list just to remember everything I want-- what I need to tell you. I would give anything to be able to make you laugh and enjoy your smile, admiring the way you light up. I'd make an ass out of myself just to watch your smile widen. If I could, I would grab those weights from your shoulders and throw them into the great lakes, never to be seen again. I would stand by your side as we watch them drown from their own weight, never to get that satisfaction of dragging you down with them.

You're a damn good person, whether you believe it or not. Your creations, the things your pour your heart and soul into are some of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I can feel the love and joy you used to intertwine those ideas together, I can see the excitement on your face as you share your creations.

You are one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I don't care if I haven't seen your actual face, or if I don't even know your real name. You are stunning. Stunning like a star that threats to burn your eyes the longer you look at it. But I'd be okay with loosing my sight, as long as you're the last thing I see. I know I'm just a stranger to a lot of you, but I still care! I will always care and you will never be a burden. Sometimes I might not be able to help you like you need, but I'll be damned if I don't try.

I love you, you made my void a little less empty.

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theragingthespian · 3 years ago

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arcane [spotify]

live like legends - ruelle

where do you run - the score

runaway kids - harbour

good to be alive - pvris

what’s wrong - half alive

it’ll all work out - phoebe bridgers

die for you - valorant, grabbitz

first thing to go - hayley williams

chlorine - twenty one pilots

i see you - missio

arsonist's lullabye- hozier

bad guy - billie eilish

july - sir chloe

lost my mind - finneas

jekyll & hide - bishop briggs

monsters - seafret

life goes on - oliver tree

darling - halsey

halley’s comet - billie eilish

love and truth - mother mother

death of me - saint phnx

leave it alone - hayley williams

favorite crime - olivia rodrigo

goodbye, my danish sweetheart - mitski

conspiracy of silence - the swoons

in the embers - sleeping at last

write-ups for why each song, under read more

live like legends - ruelle

I actually really like this one, and I think it fits for every character so I wanted it as an opening

where do you run - the score

nice little found family song from pov of Vander

runaway kids - harbour

super happy song for the team, it’s a little too happy but I wanted it to be a noticeable decline from how when they were kids talking about life being to short and hating the town and how they could be reckless, to then knowing that they died because of all that and how quickly it all went down

good to be alive - pvris

this songs for Vi. I wanted this to be about how bitter she is about the state of things. How she’s always looking for a fight. This is for more when she’s a child and there’s just a lot of anger about what her life is like in the underground

what’s wrong - half alive

i wanted a song for jayce more at the beginning, where him and viktor are both so optimistic about what this can do. “It’s not qutie done, but it’s time to fix what’s wrong,” but the beginning really foreshadows how it goes with “started with the right intentions but left them on the shelf,” becuase intially that just refers to going behind the academy’s back to do this, but eventually it’s so much more serious

it’ll all work out - phoebe bridgers

for when Vi decides to turn herself in. I think a lot of it is because she clearly feels like she’s failed powder (”she had eyes so blue like the weather, when she needed me I wasn’t around”) and that she has to be the one to take the fall to protect her for it. And I think it also foreshadows how she is gonna fail her again once she’s in prison because she won’t be there for her

die for you - valorant, grabbitz

Vander when he’s fighting to save them right before he dies, to the point where he even uses shimmer to do it. I think this mindset got picked up by Vi too

first thing to go - hayley williams

this is a song from vis perspective, after having lost her father figure, and not even having powder or knowing what happened to her. Mostly for her in prison, she’s scared to lose powder. “Why do memories glow the way real moments don’t? My altar is full of loves delusions” “I’m scared to lose what’s left and I should forget but I love what’s left” showing that even once she starts to hear things negative about powder she still is rooting for her no matter what

chlorine - twenty one pilots

This is one of the more filler songs, but I wanted kind of an underground sounding song that touches on people struggling with shimmer. And some of the lyrics vaguely fit especially for vi

i see you - missio

I wanted one cute song for jayce and viktor. They fr both stopped the other from KOing themselves before so I think this applies

arsonist's lullabye- hozier

so this is mostly a silco song and then jinx. The lyrics apply to him, but I also think it shows how he connects so well to jinx and how he raised her. Also I think it’s clever that he’s her father figure, she’s an arsonist ykty, and even how he “keeps her on a leash” in the way he tells her not to tame her demons but to leash them

bad guy - billie eilish

jinx wants a fun song, this is really to introduce jinx from how we knew her as powder

july - sir chloe

i wanted this to be a song where different lyrics correspond to different people, mostly revolving around Vi’s experiences. “If I did it could u be the only one who understood? If I say sorry would you tell me I did everything I could?” Is how jinx tells vi that she’s changed and vi keeps assuring her that it’s okay, and that she did what she had to. but you also have soldier girl drama going on at the same time, so we switch to “you’re prettier than anything I’ve seen in my whole life” yet later its ‘you said goodbye” from soldier girl. “Evil secret you’re the precious thing I hide” is like how vi is still trying to protect jinx but keeps it secret from soldier girl. And the lyric “I’d be foolish if I trusted you after everything you’ve done” really applies to all of them

lost my mind - finneas

this for mostly jayce, mostly how he’s with Mel but he still be thinking about vik. Also mentions Mel with “there was a different face beside me but i sent her away because you’re not here’ for how he left her when vik got sick

jekyll & hide - bishop briggs

so I think normally using references like this is a little cringy but for this song I think the reference just parallels the jinx versus powder thing, and since this is from the perspective of jinx it would make sense that it’s a little off and weird

monsters - seafret

vik to jayce when he start going a lil off the deep end

life goes on - oliver tree

I wanted a jinx and ekko song where ekko is kind of like “I lost you and you’re bad now but I have to move on” because ultimately ekko is one of the only ones that really moves on to make something better with all the crappy stuff that happened to him. Also their fight scene is just so sick

darling - halsey

parallel to good to be alive when she says “only you have shown me how to love being alive.” This is a love song between vi and caitlyn, how vi “never had a stable home.” I also think this fits because vi kind of only had caitlyn as something good since she became an adult

halley’s comet - billie eilish

caitlyn to vi

love and truth - mother mother

jinx with her lil unhinged self and voices in the background. Reminds me of how she becomes obsessed with thinking people lied to her

death of me - saint phnx

vik when he’s at this point knowing he’s gonna die and he’s using shimmer and trying to stay alive. “Poison in my veins” “I’m a dreamer I’m a man, doing whatever I can to make the bad things go away”

leave it alone - hayley williams

I wanted a song that kind of shows an inside look at why vi leaves caitlyn. Another parallel to vi’s other songs “cause now that I want to live everyone around me is dying.” This song for me shows that she can’t let go of powder, no matter what, and she can’t risk Caityln getting hurt or distracting her from that. “The truths a killer but I can’t leave it alone” and “you don’t remember my name some days or that we are related” towards powder (the name thing need to be taken reverse because powder/jinx, and then that powder sometimes insists she’s no longer vi’s sister)

favorite crime - olivia rodrigo

this is for when vi leaves caitlyn, because she really did go out of her normal life and the rules mostly for herself but for Vi too. I don’t want it to seem like it’s too toxic, just that caitlyn feels left behind and even says “I’d do it all again” (also don’t take this one too seriously, caitlyn had her own motivations aside from vi but I still think it fits)

goodbye, my danish sweetheart - mitski

very clearly jinx, she just wack tbh not much else needs to be said

conspiracy of silence - the swoons

this is kind of vik and jayces finale song for this playlist. Jayce to viktor: are you sick to the bone? Because you reap what you sow. Viktor: will you fight for your life or take a fools paradise? ... I think it is just mostly about how the council is cooked and looking at whether or not they’ll make a deal with silco “will you weapon your skin, feed the monster within, or put up a fight”

in the embers - sleeping at last

hopefully a good finale song. Partially choses because “in the embers” is the title lolol and I see this as play8ing while the council building is being blown up. But it also just fits with this narrative of living and dying and the legacy you leave behind

a playlist made by my sister

#she fr making the best playlists since 2018 #what better to listen to when writing #music #arcane #fanmix #league of legends #tbh we kinda ship #jayce x viktor #I don't know their ship name #but of course #piltover's finest #vi x caitlyn

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tippytopdays · 3 years ago

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Reason

-sips tea-

I wrote this instead of working on other things solely because i had an idea.

The thrilling third part to these two

Weak Tenacity

_____________________________________________________________

The metal bits between his fingers were so small he wasn’t really sure why he was trying. They clanged about whenever he made even the slightest twitch let alone actually pick them up to fiddle with them, to clean them like he was intending to.

He didn’t know why you’d remained. Why you hadn’t just bolted when the opportunity presented itself. You were just so damn weak, it was hilarious honestly. He could probably knock you over with a stiff breath on your neck. Yet here you were, resilient as a tumor.

And they said he was insane.

He wasn’t an idiot, nor so up himself that he wouldn’t hear what the other mercs would say behind his back. The rumors that would whisper down the halls about what he’d done, the acts of violence so petty and levels of brutality so intense that they’d send a seasoned MAG running.

They weren’t exactly wrong, per say, but he didn’t enjoy having others speak about him without his knowledge. Not that they’d ever know he was there, just outside the doors listening to their every word. He knew everything that went down in this base, after all. From the muttered rantings of that doctor to the sarcastic quips of the mildly entertaining smoker; there wasn’t a damn thing that went down in that base that he wasn’t at least aware about.

And then there was you. Simple, meek, pathetic you.

Why had he gone out of his way to just, bring you here? To save you? To help you? Maybe you just looked particularly pathetic that day and it was getting on his nerves?

The tool flipped in his hands, metal clinking as it loosened another screw.

No, he knew why. He just hated it.

Because you just had to be in that alley, just had to hold him, to comfort him when he was the weakest he’d been in years. Damn Agents got lucky.

A piece clicked free, the screws clattering on the table.

Never again.

After he’d hauled you in like the fresh corpse you were mere days from he’d gotten a rather nasty glare from the good doctor. Once he was satisfied you weren’t actually dead he’d turned on him, ready to snap at him for something or another but he’d simply turned his back, tromping up the stairs to his room.

Like Hell was he going to sit through another lecture. Or anything else he wanted to do to him. The blood wasn’t his anyway; or yours.

More screws undone, more pieces pulled apart. It was already quite a mess but he still had a lot to take out and separate before he could get to the meat of the matter.

Visiting Doc became your norm for several days. With how weak and malnourished you were the man didn’t seem to like the idea of you wandering around without some weight on your bones to steady you. Not to mention the mess you’d been made into from living in what he could only assume was an actual dumpster from how nasty you looked.

Now that he thought about it why did he carry you? You could walk, couldn’t you?

Whatever, he probably would have done it regardless of how bad you smelled. Not like he could trust you to actually be unarmed

The doctor’s plan to get your appearance into some kind of order wasn’t something he’d been privy to at the time. It was certainly something to get accustomed to at first. He didn’t even recognize you once Doc had finished cutting your hair, nearly slicing your throat the second he’d seen you again.

A twitch, the tool missed the mark and scraped across the metal. His brow twitched; odd, but nothing serious. No scratches at least.

He continued.

It only took a snippet of your voice to bring him to his senses. Granted it was also because he’d taken the time to actually look at you. Staring into his prey’s eyes as the life faded from them was something he’d relish, the fear and terror coating their black pits made it all the more satisfying to dispose of the freaks. But with yours it didn’t look right, didn’t sit well.

He’d stepped a bit too far away from you after that.

You’d been stuck wandering the base to pass the time once you’d been cleared, since there wasn’t anything that you could do anyways. No job was simple enough for your weak hands and nothing within the computers was for your eyes to see; you were completely useless to them honestly. Just another mouth to feed. More supplies to waste.

And yet, you were allowed to stay despite that.

The grip popped open along the seam, allowing better access to the mechanisms inside.

He hadn’t done much after dropping your ass off with Doc. There were better, more interesting things than some random woman he’d hauled off after all. However he’d still run across you on occasion. Sometimes you’d be in his presence, sometimes he’d be in yours. But there was no real interaction, not since he’d brought you here. Hell he’d never even spoken to you; not like you were worth the time of course but, it was something he’d noticed.

But he didn’t have any reason, no answer as to why he’d even brought you here. You were just some stray, a useless pain in the ass that he’d have to deal with.

More screws, more bits. He’d never really dug into one of these things but now that he had he could understand some of the mercs appall at how he treated them. It wasn’t enough to make him care, sure, but he could at least see why.

Maybe it was how your voice was soft enough he’d almost missed it.

“….Can I….ask you s-something…?”

Just the sound of your voice had snapped him out of whatever thoughts he’d had, the lenses of his goggles turning to face you.

You were shuffling on your sock clad feet, nearly shivering on the spot once his eyes landed on you standing there with the door at your back. Your hands fiddled with something, some small bit of rubbish you’d probably had on your person as you made to speak again, “…W-Why…Why did y-you bring me here?”

He’d sat there, staring at you for a good few moments while you shuddered under his gaze. And for the first time since he’d met you, he spoke.

“I have no fucking idea.”

It definitely wasn’t what you wanted to hear, if he wanted to judge from the furrow in your brow, but it was the truth. No point in lying about it anyways, not like you were worth it. What were you going to do anyways, stare at him disappointedly? No thanks, there was already enough slots taken in that thank you very much.

He couldn’t for the life of him remember what he’d been thinking about once you’d left, even if he’d thought it was important to ruminate on it for the past half hour.

Maybe it was because after that conversation you seemed more, prominent. For whatever personal reason you’d come up with.

Usually you ended up appearing somewhere nearby or at least entering the room at some point. For a few days he’d believed you were stalking him, until of course he’d payed slightly more attention to notice the way you jumped whenever you spotted him. How you flinched away each time he even did so much as glance in your direction. With how pathetic you were, of course it made little sense to stalk anyone, let alone him of all people.

He would have chased you off if you were, however. Stormed up to you and scared the living Hell out of you to keep you off his case.

The crunch between his fingers brought him out of his thoughts. It had snapped quite easily, the end of the tool hanging limply from the handle. Unusual but it didn’t hinder him much, he had extras; the mercs were good at one thing at least.

Not a good idea. Doc would have his balls again if he could judge by the sudden irritation in the man’s face—or whatever he could see of it—when he even mentioned you. He wanted to stay a man for a bit longer; not because he was scared of the doctor but because then he couldn’t piss off the grunts anymore.

Maybe it was the weakness in your hands. The tiny, useless little mitts that you had were so pathetically small that nothing could stay in them normally let alone any weapon you might have found. You couldn’t even grip a railing without slipping, which he found utterly hilarious.

He hadn’t moved so fast without intent to kill until you’d nearly fallen off the second story.

A sharp squeal broke that train of thought. The nice jagged scratch across the black steel glinted in the light. Hope that wasn’t too important.

Maybe it was how small you were. Granted, everyone was ridiculously dwarfed the second he entered a room. It was a habit now, to stare at them from so high above their heads. So small, so weak.

Easy prey.

But you were particularly tiny, almost mockingly so. Most of the mercs at least had some muscle to them but you still remained so fucking pathetic even after Doc’s so-called therapy. You’re shoulders were thin, your limbs even more so. Not even your face was spared by the lack of mass in your cheeks. You were just, far too small.

You wouldn’t survive at all if he’d left you out there by yourself for any longer.

Another click, the firing pin popping out with a clatter. He carefully scooted it to the side.

Maybe, when he thought about it, it was because you were nice.

Nice was the best way to put whatever it was you would do when others would be upset over something. It was odd how you would fret over Doc’s muttering fits, how you’d clutch at his arm and drag him back to his office. Just bizarre how the smoker would relax when you’d enter one of the training decks, water in hand and a smile on your face despite his presence there watching from the more obscured corners during the mandatory breaks he had to take. Unreal even when the arsonist would offer a friendly wave as you’d enter the cafeteria with your own lunch and offer a seat with you.

The solution stung his nose but he’d have to deal with it. So long as it cleaned, it was necessary. He just hoped he wasn’t cleaning the wrong thing.

He didn’t want to even start with why he’d allowed you into his room. It was inane, if he looked back on it; you’d just find something and get yourself hurt. Or worse, try to betray them—that is if you could even hold onto the weapon in the first place. He had plenty in there, sure, but most of them were supposed to be for someone his size, not a dainty little clump of flesh he’d dragged in.

It was also a mess so that probably had something to do with why you’d reacted the way you did. He had an order for things but you just had to put your own tiny mitts onto everything and make an even bigger mess out of it; organization may not be his style but it wasn’t like he didn’t know where everything was at the least. If he were honest he probably would have chased you out the moment he’d caught you organizing things.

The rag squeaked, nearly tearing when it ran over a particularly sharp bit of metal. Too much force, simple enough. Adjust and clean the parts that looked bad enough.

Maybe it was because when he’d entered again he found you there, face first into a pillow he’d snatched.

Another squeak was followed by a soft rip. Yep, that tore it. No matter, he had another.

You were small, it was hard to miss.

But there, in his room, on his bed, you were positively tiny. A mere fleck of meat on the massive slab that was the bed he’d pilfered at some point or another. It seemed at some point during your attempt at cleaning his room you’d tried to reach behind the head of his bedframe for something, your arm jammed down the crevice between the wall and mattress. How weak you were, then, to fall asleep in the middle of it.

Within the room of the worst predator of all, none the less.

He’d stalked up to you, making no effort to hide his steps and yet you resolutely slumbered on, unaware of his pursuit. Not even a twitch within your sleep as he stood over your body, the lenses of his goggles tinting your form in red.

How dare you, sleep in his bed? Treat his space like it wasn’t inhabited by a living killing machine? Act all nice and forgiving, despite everything? He’d tainted himself, killed thousands; just because he’d spared you didn’t mean you could just do whatever you wanted. He wasn’t your friend; he was barely teammates with anyone.

Slowly, he reached for you.

He’d toss you out, not even flinch if you cried. Threaten to strangle the life out of you the next time you met. Torment you if you kept it up.

Soft strands of your hair tangled in his fingers firmly.

He didn’t care about you. You were just some wretch he’d found, nothing more. He didn’t have friends. He had nobody.

Your head was still just as small in his hand as it was that day.

Yet another rip. Being careful was not his forte.

He should have woken you up, yanked you by your hair and dragged your miserable body off his bed.

But the longer he stared, the longer he let his hand soak in the sheer hear you were giving off, the weaker that desire became. More muddied and unclear.

What was he doing? Why did he come here?

The grip on your hair loosened, the strands trailing down his fingers like water. Heat radiated off of your skull, scorching the palm of his hand.

It was too much.

The cushion of his mattress was blissfully cold, a respite from the heat you’d given. A soft sigh rasped through his teeth.

It was sucked back in again as you shuffled with a soft moan, directly beneath him.

He was never one to startle, nothing surprised him. Freezing was another feeling he wasn’t accustomed to. In combat it was life or death, and while he didn’t fear death nor the Hell that awaited, he couldn’t fathom the idea of something being so terrifying that others would rather do nothing than act.

But when he found himself leaned over, hand braced into the padding of his mattress, towering over you, he had indeed frozen on the spot. If he’d thought you were small before, nothing could even prepare him for the image of you resting cozily on the blankets underneath his bulk. You were so meek, so utterly encompassed that he could simply lean over the bedside and cover you in just his shadow.

You’d vanish completely if he mounted you.

A particularly loud clang was surprising enough to refocus him on the piece he’d been scrubbing at. For far too long, apparently, if the abruptly dismantled barrel said anything.

Maybe it was something he’d done, some form of shuffle or further indenting of the mattress with how heavily he’d started to lean onto it. Whatever he or some other power committed had brought you to stir, a soft breath of air breaking your silence. It didn’t really matter why you were awake, only that you were shuffling as if to move.

There was no thought as he pounced on top of you.

Immediately you’d yelped, scrambling in his hold as he wrangled your limbs into order. What order didn’t matter as long as you stayed still. He’d wrapped his arms around your waist, your squirming body back against his stomach. Once he was hunched over gripping onto you like you were a prize, he stopped.

It burned. Any flicker of movement along his skin was like fire and if he didn’t know any better he’d assume you were some live grenade he’d caught in his hands, ready to explode at any moment from just how hot you were.

Not to mention the scent smothered against his sheets that could only be described as something purely you being smashed into his nose as he’d braced against the pillow you were just laying on.

You whimpered in his hold. He’d gripped harder.

Crushing you in his hands would be easy. Just a twist of a wrist and a pull on an arm and you’d crumple in his hold, spine shattered to bits. You’d die, you’d suffer.

You held onto his hands, your mitts barely able to wrap around his arms to reach them.

You’d leave. And take the heat with you.

Reassembling would be a pain he noticed. The pieces were everywhere, and half of them he’d completely forgotten where he’d even pulled them out from. But he’d figure it out, it’s what he did.

He’d barely noticed when you muttered, voice muffled under his chest. Nothing you said would matter even if you did, he wasn’t letting go. Wasn’t letting you leave.

It didn’t matter if it burned.

Somehow you’d found a footing from his grip on you. In your attempt to find stability or possibly escape you shuffled upwards, ass grinding against his crotch. But he shoved you right back down with a tight snarl forced out of his throat, hips snapping. Finally he’d taken a look, annoyed you’d even considered moving.

He had imagined you’d disappear under him, but the image he was granted was something else entirely. Your face was practically stuffed into the blankets with your ass held up high by his hold. All of your limbs had vanished without any hint that you were there at all aside from your wide eyes; even the edges of his coat had draped over you, free of the confines the harness he normally wore had. You had completely and utterly vanished; if anyone even dared to enter they wouldn’t be able to see a lick of your skin.

This sight, this heat, was his and his alone. A scorching treat for a cold beast.

A sharp huff hissed between his teeth as he ground against you.

What was he doing then?

A soft rumble rasped in his throat when his hold on you loosened.

Why did he let it happen?

Your gasp was so sweet, so delectable. And the heat rising to your cheeks was even more so.

There was nothing to gain from this. You had nothing he wanted. He should have just killed you. Punished you.

The softest of whimpers graced his ears as your head pushed against his chest in attempt to hide. It was so feeble it could have made him coo like you were an animal to tame. Another sharp hump to your backside pulled a squeal, to which he’d laughed. He couldn’t help it.

The slightest of grins tugged on his jaw.

There were many ways to punish. So many delightful and even more delicious ways. Maybe he could show you, teach you.

A dark rumble from his chest had you jolting in his hold, looking up at him. His jaws parted, mask stretching.

Claim you.

The trigger was missing.

He could swear he’d put it together properly; he’d even test triggered a few mechanisms to make sure it would still function. And yet the one piece it needed to actually work was absent. It wasn't even on the table.

A huff whispered through his jaw. Great. And after all he’d done. What a waste of time.

It clattered to the table as he tossed it aside. He’d just use another, nothing lost.

He never cleaned his guns anyways.

#suggestive #madness combat x reader #madness combat #hank j. wimbleton x reader #hank j. wimbleton #my writing

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spencers-renaissance · 3 years ago

Text

Emergency Contact

Summary: When Spencer ends up in the hospital again, his emergency contact — who happens to be his boyfriend, Luke Alvez — is called. Too bad he hasn't told the team about him yet...

Tags: whump, h/c, hurt spencer, broken ribs, coming out, relationship reveal, protective derek, team as family, fluff, au: different first meeting

Pairing: Luke Alvez x Spencer Reid // (heavy on the Derek & Spencer friendship, too)

Word Count: 2.6k

Masterlist // Read on AO3 // Bad Things Happen Bingo

Okay, so Emily was not in S11, but for this fic she is, because I wanted supportive Penemily and that's what I gave myself. Other than that, this fills the square "broken ribs" for my Bad Things Happen bingo card. Enjoy the whump mixed with fluff!

Spencer doesn’t mean to get hurt again, but he also isn’t exactly surprised when it happens. If anything, Hotch really needs to stop sending him out to scope places and suspects out by himself. Surely Tobias Hankel proved he’s a trouble magnet in that regard years ago.

The summerhouse the suspect rents is a nice enough place to lay incapacitated while he waits for back-up, he supposes, but he’s not exactly able to lie and enjoy the sunshine when his ribs have been smashed in with a metal baseball bat and he knows the suspect is currently hightailing it down the beach. Not to mention the fact that it’s worryingly difficult to breathe.

Still, it’s better than a dilapidated cabin in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere Georgia, pumped full of heroin while his feet are whipped. Small mercies.

“Goddamnit, Spencer, again?” Derek asks amusedly when he finally arrives and crouches down by his side, but the undercurrent of worry in his voice doesn’t elude him.

“Sorry,” he wheezes, still winded and in immense pain from the ambush. “I didn’t see him coming.”

Derek raises a brow, chuckling slightly. “Yeah, pretty boy, I figured that.” His hand goes to Spencer’s hair as his expression furrows in concern again. “Did you see where he went? I’ll send the others after him while I go with you to the hospital.”

Spencer smiles a little, relieved that he won’t be alone. It’s become a strange sort of tradition to sit in one another’s hospital rooms after the job kicks their ass, and he’s glad Derek isn’t about to break it now.

“I saw him turn right out of the backdoor, but that’s all,” he says breathlessly, before cringing at the effort and folding in on himself even more.

“Okay, Spencer,” Derek says soothingly. “Just relax. The ambulance will be here any second.”

He obeys and closes his eyes as he listens to Derek call Hotch on the radio and send the team in the right direction before coming back to sit next to him on the floor.

“This might be one of the nicer places one of our unsubs has owned, huh?”

Spencer nods, mirroring Derek’s morbid amusement. “Crime pays better than investigating it,” he manages, smiling up at his friend.

He snorts. “You can say that again. With the way the market’s turned in the last couple years it’s more like this is my hobby and my properties are my day job, rather than the other way round.”

Spencer tries to reply, but he moves involuntarily in amusement, and a fresh wave of pain has him wincing again, trying to will the tears away.

“You’re alright, Spence,” Derek says gently, his hand returning to his hair. “Help will be here soon, okay?”

Thankfully, the medics do show up in a semi-timely fashion, and both of them are loaded into the back of the ambulance as the EMTs check him over, Derek’s hand not leaving his person unless it absolutely has to.

“How many times were you hit, Dr Reid?”

He cringes. “Four.” It’s almost embarrassing that the unsub got four hits in, and the only reason there weren’t more is because he was fleeing the scene, not because Spencer was able to fight back. He tries to remind himself that there isn’t much you can do when caught-off guard by a furious arsonist armed with a steel baseball bat, but his ego is still bruised. Albeit not as badly as his poor ribs.

“I’m gonna fucking kill him,” Derek mutters under his breath, his grip tightening on Spencer’s shoulder minutely enough for him to know he isn’t doing it consciously.

Spencer smiles appreciatively, closing his eyes against the pain. The non-narcotic painkillers they’re feeding him through the IV really aren’t doing anything.

“I think you’ve managed to avoid internal bleeding,” the EMT says, all though he tacks on a pointed, “just. But I’m concerned about the possibility of a punctured lung. There’s a chance your trouble breathing is solely pain-induced, but I don’t like the way your chest sounds. The doctors will check everything out when we get to the hospital, and get you all patched up.”

“Hold in there,” Derek says urgently. “I really can’t have you dying on me, pretty boy.”

Spencer smiles as comfortingly as he can through the immense pain in his chest and his mangled breathing. “Trust me, I don’t intend on it.”

The x-ray reveals two broken ribs and confirms the paramedic’s suspicions of a punctured lung, although thankfully, minor enough to not require surgery. He’s set up with oxygen and regular nurse check-ups in a quiet room after the doctor is able to remove the excess air in his chest cavity.

“How are you doing, Spence?” Derek asks worriedly as he pulls up a chair next to Spencer’s bed as soon as he’s allowed to see him.

He pulls away his oxygen facemask to answer. “A bit better,” he says, but his voice is dry and raspy from the oxygen so he certainly doesn’t sound it. “The pain meds are actually working now.”

Derek’s tight, anxious expression relaxes slightly. “That’s at least something.”

Spencer nods tiredly, but before he can respond, a nurse is popping her head round the door. “Dr. Reid,” she says genially, “sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to let you know that we’ve managed to get a hold of your emergency contact, and they’re on their way.”

Spencer’s eyes widen. How could he have forgotten? Granted, he was a little preoccupied with the whole punctured lung, broken ribs thing, but how could he have let it slip his mind that this little accident would lead to the secret he’s been keeping under wraps getting out?

When he’d first met Luke at an FBI gala last year, he never could have foreseen the most intimate and special relationship of his life coming to fruition, but it had. They’d connected on so many different levels, and the chemistry between them felt like something out of one of the fantastical romance novels Penelope reads, and when he’d asked if it was okay for Spencer to put Luke down as his updated emergency contact, he’d been rewarded with a wide, beautiful grin and a firm, heartfelt kiss.

It was serious enough, sure, and they were coming up on having been together for a year, but besides Emily and Penelope — who’d met Luke and developed an amusing, playful rivalry with him — he hadn’t introduced him to anyone on the team.

“On their way?” Derek asks, raising an eyebrow in mild confusion. “Isn’t your contact Hotch? He already knows you’re in the hospital.”

Spencer just stares at him like a rabbit caught in the headlights, completely blanking on something to say. They’re working a local case, so it won’t be long before Luke is bursting into his hospital room armed with cuddles and comfort, and as much as he craves that, he’s too busy panicking about his team finding out to really look forward to it.

Eventually, after watching Derek’s face morph into even stronger, more suspicious confusion, he gives up. They’re going to find out anyway. “I’m dating someone.”

Derek’s face lights up. “Pretty boy!” he exclaims happily, playfully pushing his shoulder as gently as he can. “That’s amazing! Why didn’t you say something? What’s her name?”

Ah. That’s the primary reason he hadn’t told his team about Luke. He’s nowhere close to being ashamed about his sexuality, he accepted himself decades ago, but he’s still not worked up the courage to share that part of himself with his team. Excluding Penelope and Emily who have been together for years (he’s still baffled as to how the others haven’t caught on yet), everyone’s in the dark.

It had started as a basic survival tactic. He’d joined the FBI two years younger than the standard entry age in the early 2000s, and he was far too concerned with just getting by than living outwardly as a gay man. And then, as time went by and he knew his team was accepting and welcoming, he found it too awkward to try and correct people when they assumed he was straight. There just wasn’t ever the right time.

“I’m gay.”

Derek’s happy expression falls and for a split second, Spencer feels a flash of panic. Maybe Derek’s okay with gay people as long as they’re not his immediate friends, as long as he doesn’t playfully call them ‘pretty boy’ and play with their hair when they’re injured, maybe—

“Well, what’s his name, then?”

Spencer looks up from his panic, seeing Derek smiling again, eyes maybe even brighter than they were just seconds ago.

“Wait—”

“Spencer, if you think I’m gonna care that you’re gay — if you think any of us will care that you’re gay, then you have another thing coming,” Derek reassures him. “Wait, that isn’t why you didn’t tell us right?”

He suddenly looks distraught at the idea that Spencer might not have felt comfortable coming out to him, and Spencer rushes to correct him. “No! No, I know everyone would be fine with it, I just didn’t really know how to say it. Penelope and Emily know, but only by accident.”

Derek relaxes, chuckling a little. “I’m sure there’s quite a story there.”

Spencer blushes. “Maybe.”

“I’ll find out later,” he says confidently, winking at him, and something in Spencer loosens at the fact that Derek hasn’t changed his behaviour at all. “But I’m more interested in Mr. Sexy Emergency Contact Mystery Boyfriend Man right now.”

Spencer outright laughs at that, before wincing painfully as his ribs twinge, and he has to fit the oxygen mask around his face again and breathe deeply for a couple of breaths before the nasal cannula can suffice again.

“I met him around this time last year at an FBI gala actually,” Spencer manages. “Everyone on our team bailed except Penelope, Emily, and me. He’s called Luke and he works in the Fugitive Task Force. We just clicked as soon as we met, you know? We have this chemistry that I’ve never felt with anyone before, and we started dating pretty quickly. We actually moved in together last month when his lease was up, but we’re thinking of moving to a bigger, nicer place in Mount Pleasant. Luke’s actually had his eye on this one house that went up…”

He trails off when he notices Derek looking at him strangely, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “What?”

“Nothing,” Derek says gently. “You just look happy, pretty boy. When you started talking about Luke you got this happy, dopey smile on your face, and I’ve just never seen you like that. It’s nice.”

“Oh.” He blushes fiercely at the acknowledgement of just how soft he is for his boyfriend, but it’s not embarrassing, he’s just ridiculously happy and head over heels in love.

Still, feeling a little awkward at the attention, he raises the oxygen mask to his face just for something to do.

“Does he treat you well?” Derek asks seriously, suddenly looking like the FBI tough guy he really is.

Spencer grins and nods, pulling the mask away again. “So good. He’s one of those people that looks out for everyone before himself, you know? He listens to my rambles and tangents like he actually knows and cares about what I’m saying, and he insists on making me every meal we’re both home for. Every day off, he brings me breakfast in bed, and he’ll even suffer through my documentaries even though his favourite thing to watch is action movies. He’s the best boyfriend I could hope for.”

“Good,” Derek says fiercely, even though he’s smiling just a little at the thought of Spencer being taken care of. “But if anything ever changes, I won’t hesitate to—”

“Spencer?” Derek’s interrupted by the door flying over, and a very harried looking Luke Alvez rushing towards the bed, seemingly not noticing the man literally threatening his death right next to him. “Oh my God, Spencer, I was so worried, I thought—”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Spencer says, voice still a little weak. Can’t he at least sound convincing when he’s trying to tell these people that he’s fine? “I’m okay, I’ll be out of here before you know it.”

“Are you sure, baby? Do I need to get the doctor? Have they been looking after you, because I swear—”

“Luke,” he laughs, interrupting his worried tangent. “I’m fine, I promise.”

He watches amusedly as Luke sags with relief. “Oh thank God,” he breathes, and it’s then that he appears to notice Derek. “Oh, shit.”

He looks to Spencer with an alarmed look in his eyes, knowing full well that he isn’t out to his team yet, but before apologies can start dripping off his lips, he rushes to fill him in.

“It’s okay. I told him.”

Luke’s face brightens in an illuminating smile, his eyes wide and happy. “You did? I’m so proud of you, cariño.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Derek says, rising from his chair to shake Luke’s hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you in the last ten minutes.”

Luke grins. “All good things, I hope.”

Derek winks teasingly at Spencer. “Oh, better than good. Spencer here seems quite gone for you.”

He blushes again, but Luke just sits on the edge of his hospital bed and takes his face in his hand. “Well, I’m just as gone for him as he is for me. Probably even more so.”

“No way,” Spencer protests as vehemently as he can with an oxygen mask glued to his face again. “I definitely love you more.”

His words are half swallowed by the mask, and half muffled by the gaggle of FBI agents pouring into his room, all talking over one another loudly.

Luke jumps off the bed and stands to attention as they all quieten down, three of them in complete shock, one of them — Emily, recognising Luke — in anticipation of what’s about to happen.

“Uh,” Spencer starts unsurely, eyes flicking between his boyfriend and his team. “Meet my boyfriend?”

There’s a brief pause before everyone jumps into action again: Emily greeting him warmly, JJ introducing herself, and Hotch and Rossi giving him firm, threatening handshakes as a warning that no harm is to come to their pseudo-son.

Spencer knows they don’t have to worry about that, though, not with Luke, and they’re quickly shown that when he takes his rightful place sat on the edge of his hospital bed again, hands smoothing his hair gently.

“Thank you,” he says to Derek, voice soft and sincere as everyone’s sat leisurely around the room, doing their own thing now they’re calmed down after the initial meet and greet, “for taking care of him. I worry about him, you know, and it’s good to see that he has so many good people looking after him.”

“We all do,” Derek replies, looking over at Spencer fondly. “We’re all incredibly overprotective. Residual effects from him joining the team so young, probably.”

“I can see that,” Luke smiles, looking over at Hotch and Rossi, who still have their eyes trained on him, despite having warmed up to him quickly.

“Well between us all,” Emily interjects diplomatically, “I think we have Spencer covered. He has a lot of good people looking out for him.”

Spencer knows they all think he’s asleep, but he can’t help but say something. “I definitely do,” he slurs tiredly, causing Luke to quickly turn his attention to him, pressing a tender kiss to his forehead as he runs his fingers through his hair with the hand not intertwined with Spencer’s. “Love you.”

“I love you too, baby,” Luke murmurs. “And so does everybody in this room.”

Smiling softly and feeling safe as anything, Spencer finally gives into the heavy pull of tiredness, and lets himself drift off to sleep.

I'm such a sucker for coming out fics omg, I hope you didn't mind that element! But God, I've missed writing Ralvez fics. If anyone has any Ralvez prompts then please send them my way because I want to write them so badly but I really find it hard to find plot for them! <3

taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @hotchseyebrows @reidology @spencerspecifics @tobias-hankel @goobzoop @marsjareau @garcias-bitch @oliverbrnch @im-autistic @anxious-enby @kuolonsyoja @ropoto

#my writing #ralvez #criminal minds #cm #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #luke alvez #spencer reid #derek morgan #hurt spencer reid #spencer reid whump #luke alvez x spencer reid #spencer reid x luke alvez #spencer reid/luke alvez #luke alvez/spencer reid #ralvez fic #ralvez fanfic

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rywritten · 3 years ago

Note

how did you get into both dreamnap and dreamnoblade? where is the connect and the appeal, i really want to know.

ive answered a pretty similar question to this before (which you can read here) but since this is asking for both dreamnap and dreamnoblade, ill try to answer as best and as detailed as i can. please note that some parts will be a direct copy of my previous post, but all in all this is pretty much the entirety of my dsmp experience, meaning there's lots of new Ry lore™ to read about lmao

so, without further ado,

here's a real-time recap of my slow decent to madness pt. 2 (aka falling in love with Dreamnap and DNB, then starting a side blog dedicated to these two amazing ships™)

includes reaction memes for funsies and also to provide a visual for all of my recent emotions as i traverse the dsmp fandom firsthand

ok, let's gooooooooo

starting this off with how i got into dsmp in general. so i actually knew about dsmp way back when the fandom was just starting (bc who didn't? this fandom was the talk of the town (derogatory) given the hate most people gave it for being #cringe) ive seen the way other fandoms have clowned dsmp fans (mainly dream stans) and i for one, did not enjoy being clowned at, so yeah i dipped and did not look into the lore too much given the circumstances. at that time, i didn't really know anyone except for c!dream given that he was the one (1) character that piqued my interest, and he stuck to me bc of the smiley face mask and i really liked the fanarts i saw of him back then, even when i had no interest to join the fandom back then.

(narrator voice, ominous: she was in it for a surprise)

visual image of myself (back in December 2021, ignorant of what's to become of me later on)

so flashforward to the year 2022 where nothing is real except for the eraser shavings on my desk and the half finished wips collecting pixelated dust on my laptop for months and boom i was reintroduced to dsmp but this time there was interest bc this time around, i was reintroduced to c!dream via a really nice animation by sadist and since i had no other fandom to hyperfixate on during these trying time, my lizard brain was all like:

but as soon as i consumed every sadist dsmp animation known to man, i realized something very quickly, my love for c!dream is all encompassing, but there's still room in my heart for maybe two (2) more characters, which i why i was led to the simple conclusion of finding more characters to love and cherish along with dream, hence why i found sap and techno, my two other beloved.

so my love for dream, sapnap, and techno is rooted on the fact that i personally love all of their character designs, also i just find it quite fascinating how powerful and dangerous their characters are individually, and at that moment, my brain went decided to ask me a question that would change everything:

my brain 🧠: what would they be like together?

me 🤡: you mean like a team, right? platonically??

my brain 🧠, crackling: no.

[cue alarm bells ringing in my head]

so yeah, the possiblity of shipping c!dream with the two other characters ive come to know and love was now a very big possibility (mainly bc i want my fav boy (c!dream) to be loved and cherished, and who better to love and cherish c!dream than my two other favs???) <- sound logic, me thinks.

so after maybe two hours of looking for fanarts of the characters dubbed as a green teletubby, an arsonist, and the blood god (all in that order) ive found etcetera art's insta and twt account, full of amazing fanarts of all three of them, and i knew i was onto something when i wanted to see all three of them together...

(note that scavenging through twt for a dsmp fanart is a nightmare if you don't really care abt the other characters, bc let me tell you, you will end up finding more fanarts of that character than who you were looking for in the first place)

so a lot more digging around and i found out something very important about sap and techno when it comes to dream:

for sapnap: "And they're childhood friends in the lore. oh man, they're childhood friends in the lore???"

and for techno: "And they're rivals in the lore. oh man, they're rivals in the lore????"

i zoomed in on these two facts immediately and began my quest to look for more animatics, fanarts, and even fanfiction focusing on two things: dream and sap's dynamic AND dream and techno's dynamic. i looked for content regarding their rivalry and friendship and i even found the tags #rivalstwt / #rivalsduo (for dream and techno, which i initially thought was considered both platonic and romantic, so you could imagine the sheer devastation i felt after finding out on the same day that shipping them is not in fact considered "morally acceptable")

and for sap and dream, i found the tag #dreamnap (which, as it turns out is not as popular or as widely accepted as i thought it would be, surprising given that dreamnap oozes childhood friends to lovers so much, i thought everyone loved childhood friends to lovers???)

(me, as soon as i realized i was the only one in the c!technodreamnap agenda, i will not be stopped)

initially i was ok with the whole platonic rivalry (for techno and dream) and the friendship (for sap and dream), but the more i was fed this idea that shipping c!dream and c!techno is wrong, the more i felt compelled to like it. and the lack of fan works for dreamnap was getting to me, i was itching to make my own fics for these two ships the moment my two braincells connected and formed a critical thought.

plus, i already knew i was going to fall in love with BOTH dreamnap and dnb (bc dnf is just so boring and this ship never appealed to me even back then plus karlnapity isn't for me, i dont like q and k lmao) the moment i found out that they're the three strongest characters in the dsmp lore + the other canon events in the story like doomsday and the life debt dnb keep owing each other throughout each important event is enough fuel for me to keep this ship sailing, and the fact that despite how they only consider each other as business partners, c!techno still rescued c!dream from prison knowing the risk and c!dream still remembers the mountain where they first met (how am i not going to romanticize this? how??)

and then there's the fall of dremanap in the canon lore, the heavy implications, the angst, and the fact that no matter what happens, they are each other's downfall as much as they love and care for the other (that's some very fucked up trope that we all need in a childhood friends to enemies to lovers dynamic, imho)

so in conclusion, my love for dreamnap and dnb started from curiosity that led to shock and bitterness that fueled my spite and the burning need to consume and create content for the only two (2) ships that i actually find interesting in this entire fandom.

it's a crime that there's so little content for these two ship, a crime i tell you!

so yes, im BOTH a dreamnap and a dnb shipper and my entire side blog is dedicated to block men: 500k words, slow burn, childhood friends to enemies to lovers as well as rivals to rivals to lovers, pining, angst with a happy ending, doomsday husbands and chaos husbands 😌❤️💚🤍

this concludes my very long and unawaited part two of my slow decent to madness™ post. i hope my experience (as well as my suffering) was at least entertaining to read! and i hope i managed to answer you question, anon (and maybe get you to consider shipping this with me)

bc spreading the c!technodreamnap agenda is what this entire blog's about. 🎉

#ry.plies #anon #ry talks meta #dreamnap #dreamnoblade

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jilytho · 3 years ago

Text

strangers in a bar

Happy Jilytober!!!! "speaking of mothers, fancy becoming one?" cocky James meets Lily in a bar

Read below or on AO3

Longest day of work. Followed by the longest train ride. Followed by pushing through a throng of thousands of people seemingly with all the time in the world when she was already twenty five minutes late to meet Mary for a drink. All topped off with a venmo and message from Mary right as she was finally sitting down on a barstool ordering her wine.

Sorry love, just got a massive order, going to be here all night. Have a glass of vino on me!

Lily rejected the venmo immediately, of course. Mary’s bakery had just got off the ground and Lily knew how important orders were for her at that stage and there was no need to take her money. She’d drink her wine and get home in time for Bake Off reruns, not a bad day all in all. She signaled the bartender to close out her tab afterall and opened up Bumble. If she was going to sit here alone, might as well swipe on some potential matches.

“He’s a loser.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“He’s a loser.” the man repeated, shifting fully to face her, leaning his side against the bar. She hadn’t noticed him before but he must have been sitting somewhere along the bar.

“Who is?”

His glass was empty and even as his body was turned towards hers, his eyes remained focused on the bartender, signaling towards his glass and nodding towards her near empty one as well. It wasn’t until the bartender had nodded back to him and begun to grab bottles that he turned to look into her eyes. Dark hazel, thick tortoise frames, tousled hair, beautifully chiseled jaw.

“Whatever sorry tosser left you sitting here on a barstool all by your lonesome.”

“What exactly makes you think I’m here because of a boy? Can’t a girl just go get a drink by herself?” she wrapped her fingers around the newly filled wine glass and avoided eye contact, taking a sip.

“I’ll make you forget his name”

She spluttered into her drink and looked at him incredulously but he held her gaze steadfast, unwaveringly confident.

“You’re pretty presumptuous, aren’t you?”

“I prefer the term confident.”

“Mmmm a narcissist's favorite excuse.”

“You know what they say about narcissists,”

“That they’ll never love another more than they love themselves?”

He scoffed, “Sure, or that it typically doesn’t come unearned.”

“Not only is that literally not a saying but what I have heard is that lying to yourself can be even worse than narcissism. Causes premature wrinkles.”

“Please, look at us. Barely a wrinkle between the pair.”

“That’s because I’m honest. Never told a lie.”

“Now is that so?”

“Yep.” She punctuated the p sharply, smirk tugging at the corner of her lips as she leaned back in her chair.

“So now if I were to ask if you were attracted to me, you’d have no choice but to tell me the truth,” he leaned in closer, eyes sparkling down at her.

“Now see, I don’t lie,” she dropped her voice to a whisper and leaned in closer, “but my mother also taught me that if I don’t have anything nice to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. So perhaps it’s better if I bite my tongue on that one.”

He laughed earnestly, warmly, head thrown back in a way that filled her with immediate satisfaction, warmth spreading across her chest.

“Wow. Beautiful, clever, and cruel. You really were made for me, weren’t you? C’mon now, loosen that quick tongue for just a second. Tell me what you really think.”

She leaned back in her chair and made a show of looking him up and down, eyes slowly trailing his entire figure. He practically loomed over her as he remained standing, leaning closer and closer down over her seated figure. And damn if he wasn’t ridiculously fit. And exactly her type. Dark blue button down tight across his shoulders, sleeves sinfully rolled up to his elbows, seamlessly pressed grey trousers.

“Well, if I were to speak purely objectively,” he leaned in closer and nodded.

“You’re pretty fit.” His entire face lit up, pleased and smug, whole body shifting slightly closer to her as she leaned in closer. “Shame about the personality, though. Really ruins the whole vibe.”

He threw his hands over his heart and winced, “You wound me, deeply.”

“You asked! Don’t ask for the truth if you can’t take it, another lesson from my mother.”

“Well you can blame my mother for my inability to take criticism. While yours taught you sensible things like to only say the nicest and most truthful and deeply hurtful things, mine taught me that I had invented and then hung the moon and therefore the rest of the world existed because and for me.”

“Poor woman, she must have been deluded early on. A face only a mother could love and what not.”

“Prefer to think it’s the ‘what not’ part of it all. Speaking of mothers, fancy becoming one?”

She choked on her drink. He patted halfheartedly in between her shoulders - and no she did not notice how his hand was so big it spanned practically completely across her shoulders and why is that even attractive? - and passed her a napkin.

“I don’t mean tonight, of course, if that’s what you’ve stopped breathing over,” his pats turned to a light rub along her back. “I just thought maybe you’d like some additional practice.”

Her eyes narrowed as she regained control over her breathing and she twisted in her chair, forcing his hand to drop off her back, immediately missing the contact.

“I don’t go home with presumptuous and cocky boys.” Her words were biting, although traitorous butterflies were still running rampant in her stomach from their brief point of contact.

“Well, do you go to dinner with them?” His tone turned polite, mild even, as if they were discussing the weather and he hadn’t just offered to father a child with her. “Or maybe lunch or coffee? Coffee might be more the cocky guy from the bar date but really I’m partial to dinner.”

“Are you pleased with this turn of conversation?” she spat through gritted teeth, “Seriously, are you happy with how you’ve handled this?”

“I’m talking to you so I’m happy. And I’m happy I said whatever I said that gave you this lovely flush you have now,” his finger traced up from her neck to brush her cheek lightly as if tracing the blush, sending tingles shooting down her spine.

He caught her eye and her mouth went dry. Deep hazel, flickered with gold, filled with something that looked eerily close to hunger.

“I’m James, by the way. I feel like we might be on a first name basis now that I’ve asked you to join me for essentially every kind of meal.”

“Charmed, really,” she waved two fingers towards the bartender until he nodded in acknowledgement and moved to pour her another drink and ignored the traitorous conscience in the back of her brain screaming that she was only meant to be here for one.

“This is usually when you’d tell me your name, if you’re new to this,” he had leaned down to whisper the words in her ears, hot breath on her ear, one inch closer and his lips would be on her.

She chewed on her lip momentarily, hearing Mary’s voice screaming louder and louder in her head about letting loose as it spoke over the whispering voice of her mother reminding her that this was a strange man.

“Evans. Lily Evans,” she spoke into her drink and took a deep swig.

“Evans. I like it.”

She scoffed at him, eyes narrowing in on him instantly, “so glad you approve.”

“I do, really. Lily Evans. Rolls off the tongue, truly. But you know what might sound even better?”

He sat down on the barstool next to her now - finally, a voice in her head whispered as they were now perfectly aligned eye to eye - and tugged it closer to sit closer to her own. She tilted her head slightly, silently requesting he continue.

“Potter. Lily Potter.”

Her eyes narrowed instantly, “and I suppose Potter is what, the name of a good friend of yours?”

“I do consider my father a good friend so yes, I suppose in a way.”

“Dinner, a child, marriage. You’re really willing to commit to living a full life with a random girl in a bar. For all you know I could be a murderer. A serial killer. A lying, nefarious, arsonist with a family in three different counties wreaking havoc and crime along the countryside.” His eyes never wavered from hers as she ranted, crinkling in the corners, drinking her in and practically sparkling.

“What can I say, Miss. Evans, I trust my gut. And my gut says that if you truly are a lying, nefarious, philandering woman with likely multiple warrants out for her arrest, well then I guess I’ll be the Clyde to your Bonnie.”

Their heads were barely two inches apart, she could feel the warmth of his breath as his hand ghosted along to cover her own that rested on the bartop.

“Alright then, Clyde.” The words came out as a faint whisper, “You’ll probably be needing my number then. To organize our crime spree and what not.”

His grin overtook his face, eyes somehow turning more beautiful as they sparkled at her, “and what not, yes I think that’s for the best.”

She turned away from him and reached into her purse fishing out a pen, not allowing herself to think through her actions or words for another second, lest she hesitate. She scribbled her number on a paper coaster and stood up before turning to look at him, just barely taller than him for the first time that night. He sat there, perfectly patient, quieter than he had been all night.

She passed the coaster to him wordlessly, a fresh blush flaming up the back of her neck as his hand brushed hers to take the coaster and held her hand, not letting her pull back just yet. “It’s been a pleasure, Bonnie.”

“Likewise, Clyde.”

She squeezed his hand once before slipping away and out the door without another look, knowing that just seeing his face again would make her go back and go home with him that night instead of waiting for his call.

She had walked two doors down from the bar when her phone began to vibrate in her purse. She fished it out and pressed it against her ear while hailing a cab, assuming it was Mary checking in.

“Hello?”

“Go to dinner with me tomorrow night, Bonnie.” She almost dropped her phone in surprise at the deep voice that was decidedly not Mary.

“Don’t know,” She croaked out, “I thought coffee was the more appropriate meal for a cocky stranger in a bar.”

He chuckled lightly, “Maybe. But we’re not really strangers anymore are we? I even know your name now.”

“Alright then,” she breathed out as a cab pulled up, “dinner it is. It’s a date.”

She hung up without hearing his reply, swinging herself into the cab. She looked down at her phone’s call log, considering saving his contact when a Bumble alert came through with a match.

She didn’t hesitate, without looking at the match she deleted the app entirely.

#jily #jily au #jilytho #mywriting #james potter #lily evans #james is a cocky pos #happy jilytober #jilytober

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natromanxoff · 3 years ago

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12 - Nicknames...

Hello Playmates. Firstly a slap on the wrist for me. In the last thingy that I wrote I said that we were at Madison Square Gardens when John Bonham died. Well, according to someone in the good ol' U.S. of A. we were in Boston that night, so I was a day out. Also this very kind person, who "didn't want to burst my bubble," informed me that David Lee Roth said the same thing every night. I'm sure he did, I just said that I liked his onstage patter. There has to be some sort of joke about bursting bubbles and pricks, anybody know any?

Did we all get our Spring magazines? Credit to young Jacky and Val, they still do a great mag. In it were the answers to the last competition, and I have to be honest, I didn't have a clue about most of the questions. But here is a little bit of trivia. Q.8 (who, according to Roger, first suggested Another One Bites The Dust be released as a single) The actual very first people to suggest AOBTD be released as a single was The Royal Road Crew. We were lurking around at Musicland Studios while the fab ones were mixing, and I think it was Jobby who said it would be a huge hit. When we told the band they just glared at us and told us to mix some more cocktails. I suppose Mr Jackson saying it sounds more impressive than "Our pissed road crew said ..."

Q.10 (where did the "young man" who was stung on the knee by a wasp come from?) I had completely forgotten about "Two Sharp Pencils." The verses in that song, The young man from Dundee and The lady from Bude, were two stupid rhymes that I used to recite, and RT liked them and made a song out of it. I really hate to take to much credit (lying bastard) but 'Two Sharp Pencils' is also one of mine. It's very hard to explain, but the pencils are placed in a good looking girls ears, and whilst holding the pencils you can pull her head to .......... Enough said. Don't go all sexist on me, it was only a joke.

Q.20 (it was a question about who's nickname was who's) Nicknames. I did not know that Deaky's nickname of Birdman was common knowledge. Here's a little competition from your's truly. Does anyone out there know how he got it and when he got it, and anything else that goes with the story?????? Still on the subject of nicknames, some of you smarter people might have guessed that most of us had them, and that Crystal isn't my real name. It's actually Susan. When I started to travel with the band the first person to inherit my drum keys was a young guy, compared to the rest of us, who had worked with bands like the Thompson Twins. He wore stupid clothes like bondage pants, so Trip gave him the name - Mr. Modern, and it stuck. Whilst on tour in Japan, Mr M met a charming lady who we named Madam Butterfly, and this charming lady gave him his very first dose of the clap. By the end of the day Modern was getting very pissed off with us all, because every time he saw anyone, we would all clap him. I wrote on the gong flight case "Mr Modern has the Crap," and the last time I saw the case it was still on it. The last drum monkey we had, on his first day of rehearsals plugged a 110v keyboard into the 240v power supply and blew it up. British people here might remember a TV program called Auf Wiedesein(!), Pet. Ratty remembered the name of the arsonist in it, and so we had - Moxie. In-between these two wonderful people we did have someone else. We had a European tour coming up and Modern had moved on, so I interviewed a few people at Pembridge Road. I told one guy he had the job and asked him if he had anymore questions, and his first was "Who does Freddies gear?" He only knew me as Crystal, so I replied that Ratty did it. "Who looks after Brian?" Jobby. "Sound?" Trip. "Lights?" Idiot Boy. By this time he's looking a bit bewildered, and I said, "Obviously these are all nicknames and here's a little tip, you're gonna get one, and if you don't like it don't say anything otherwise it'll stick." Sound advice. A few weeks later we all turn up in good old Munich to start rehearsals. I'm in Rogers suite and said, "I suppose you should meet your new roadie at sometime." So I get on the phone and call his room, and when he answers the phone I said, "Hello Shag Nasty," and the dickhead said "I DON'T LIKE THAT." Welcome Shag.

We had to start how we meant to carry on, so we all headed to the Sugar Shack that evening. This could have been Spike's first day as well. Us old timers know how to pace ourselves, but dear old Shag has to drink himself into oblivion in the first hour, and proceed to pass out. A red rag to a bull. We pile him up with glasses, bottles, ashtrays and anything else we can find, and after a few hours Brian decides to head off, and being a nice guy said he would get Shag back to the hotel. We get him down to the limo and throw him in the back while Brian gets in the front, and on the way to the hotel he decides to decorate the limo with, amongst other things, diced carrots. So far this is not good job security. During sound checks Roger would spend forever tuning his kit, and during the show, with the heat of the lights and his pounding, would continue tuning during the show. On one occasion, sound check over and kit perfect, we head off until showtime. During the first number of the set RT is looking a bit put out, and after the first song starts frantically re-tuning the drums. This continues for quite a few songs until he starts to look relaxed. After the show Shag is summoned to the dressing room, and RT said, "Er Shag, after the soundcheck did you re-tune my kit? And the reply was, "Oh no Rog, I wouldn't do that, I just tightened up the loose ones." Back in Berlin and it's five minutes before show time, and Gerry comes up to me and says, "Look's like you've got your old job back for tonight." Why? I look round and Shag is being carted off on a stretcher, with an oxygen mask, drip and everything. What else can this clown get up to? For the last two million years Queen have finished the show with Rock You, then Champions, when the lights would come down, FM running around like a madman, RT standing up and hitting all his cymbals and playing just the bass drum with his right foot, BM playing the never ending power chord whilst keeping an eye on the drummer and JD wondering where we're going clubbing. As the lighting rig came to a standstill, Rog would sit down, and cue the rest of the band for the finish with two smacks on the snare drum and then an almighty crash of the cymbals, and it's over for another night. Play the tape. Shag had done this a couple of dozen times already, so you would think he knew. Wrong. On one night, Rogers doing his standing up bit and our beloved Shag thinks, "The stool is in the way." so he removes the offending stool. When Roger goes to sit down, there's nothing to sit on and he goes arse over tit off the back of the riser, and he's lying there winded. I tell Shag Nasty to hide for a while and try and get the drummer to his feet, and needless to say he's very pissed off. The lights have stopped and Brian has played the longest chord in the history of the universe. Roger finally gets back behind the kit, does the two hits and cymbal crash to finally finish the show, and then completely trashes his kit. I'm glad I didn't have to rebuild it. Needless to say, Shag did not last to long. Until next time.

Crystal

#queen #queen band #roger taylor #brian may #john deacon #crystal taylor #crystal's tales

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heyitssmiller · 4 years ago

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Clandestine: Chapter Four

The espionage boys go to Slytherin. Chaos ensues.

Content Warning: Some violence towards the end.

@lumosinlove

Clandestine Masterlist

Finn reached over the center console of the car to grab some M&Ms from the bag in Logan’s lap. Logan slapped his hand away playfully, not taking his eyes off the Slytherin police station they were parked down the road from. “Why don’t you eat your own snacks?”

“They’re salty and I wanted something sweet.” Finn said with a shrug, popping one of the candies into his mouth and grinning.

Leo sighed from the backseat, letting his head rest against the window with a thunk. He stared out at the full moon as a lonely cloud passed in front of it, moving fast. It was the most interesting thing he’d seen all night. “Why didn’t y’all tell me stakeouts were so boring? This is horrible.”

“But we’ve learned so much already!”

Finn got an arched blond eyebrow in response. “Have we?”

“We’re downtown, so we’re going to have to be extra careful about being seen. Shift change is at 6 pm, so we need to avoid that time frame as much as we can. There’s fewer people on the night shift, so our best bet is to wait until nighttime.” Logan rattled off, still not looking away from the building. “There’s a side door on the west side of the building, so that’ll be your best bet when you need to break in. I can see at least one security camera there, so Loops is going to need to help you out.”

Finn motioned to Logan dramatically. “That’s how you do it, Peanut Butter. Take notes.”

“I had lots of practice, keeping an eye out while you guys were off being bank robbers.” Logan grumbled good-naturedly, grabbing an M&M for himself.

Finn hummed thoughtfully. “Robbers is a bad way of putting it, don’t you think? You make us sound so evil.”

“I mean, you’re also technically an arsonist.”

“That was one time. And the other bank heist went off without a hitch.”

“Still doesn’t change the fact that you set a trash can on fire.” Leo piped up, giving Logan a high-five when he held his hand out.

“I knew I liked you for a reason, Nut.”

Leo really tried his best not to read into that statement. He grabbed the small lock in his pocket and fidgeted with the dial to distract himself. He didn’t mean it like Leo thought he did. Like he wanted him to. Besides, that would be so complicated, wouldn’t it? Being a spy was messy in and of itself. Dating two other spies - who were his partners - would be a whole other level of chaos.

But that didn’t make him want it any less.

Which was also ridiculous. He’d known them for, what? Maybe a month? Why did his heart always decide to move at such breakneck speeds?

“Do you two have to always gang up on me?” Finn asked with a sigh, snapping Leo back out of his thoughts. “What did I ever do to deserve it?”

“Don’t take it personal, O’Hara. You’re just so fun to tease.” Finn threw a barbecue-flavored chip at Logan, causing him to laugh and eat it.

“How long do stakeouts usually last?” Leo asked, desperate to change the subject to something - anything - less hazardous for his heart.

“Until we have all the information we need.”

“And how do we know when that is?”

Logan shrugged. “Depends on the case. I’d like to stay and see when the next shift change is, just to be safe.”

Leo groaned and settled back in to wait.

***

“So how are we doing this?” Finn asked the next morning as they all sat around the table in the briefing room, propping his chin in his hand. “Sneak Leo in through an air vent? Although you might be too tall for that, Nut. Blow a hole in the wall and steal the whole safe? Create a story like the bank heists?”

“It’ll have to be a distraction again.” Sirius said, looking to Loops for confirmation. “The longer we can fly under Riddle’s radar, the better. The other four drives are on Riddle, in his office, or with trusted gang members. If he starts getting suspicious now, he’ll go on lockdown and we don’t stand a chance at getting the rest of the drives.”

“He’s right.” Remus agreed. “Plus there’s way too many officers in the precinct at any given time. Since the safe is in the evidence room, we can’t risk anyone coming in there and catching Leo red-handed – they’d shoot you on sight, no questions asked.”

Logan watched the color drain from Leo’s face and turned to send Remus a glare. Of course this job was risky – if you didn’t think so, you were a naïve idiot. Getting caught or shot or killed was just a part of the job and as a spy, you had to learn to live with that. But that didn’t mean you had to scare rookies about it right before a big, high-risk mission.

Remus noticed his glare, but simply ignored it and looked away. “Here’s what I’m thinking. There’s another, smaller gang in Slytherin, right?” At Sirius’ nod, he continued. “If we can place an anonymous tip on their location, that all but guarantees a full holding cell inside the precinct. Plus it gets another gang off the streets, so it’s a win-win. Logan, if you can get yourself arrested for something small – public indecency or drunken disorderly or something – you’ll be put in that holding cell too.”

Logan leaned forwards, excitement coursing through him. “I like where this is going.”

“I don’t.” Finn stated plainly. It was his turn to glare at Loops.

“If you can start a fight in there, you can get a majority of the officers’ attentions. Especially if it’s at night when the staff is smaller and more likely to be tired. Leo can slip in the side door unnoticed, get into the evidence room, grab the flash drive, and get out.” Remus raked a hand through his hair, looking thoughtful. “It’s more complicated than the banks, but it should work just fine.”

“That’s the plan?” Leo asked dubiously. “Try to start a riot in a holding cell, hope that all the officers get distracted, steal the flash drive, and then just wait for Logan to be released in the morning? There’s so many things that could go wrong.”

He was right - there was a lot riding on nothing but chance. Sadly, that was part of the territory of working in espionage; it was one of the only things the James Bond movies got right. You had to take risks in order to get results sometimes. Leo’s job was all about planning and precision. He knew exactly how to execute his mission and there usually weren’t any hiccups as long as he had the right tools with him and enough time. Not much risk-taking involved in cracking safes. So he’d probably never been a part of a plan with so many aspects up in the air.

He’d also never seen Logan in action.

“Never doubt my ability to start a fight.” Logan said with a grin. “Man, I’m so excited to go on a mission where I’m not stuck in the car.”

“I want to go with you.” Finn said firmly, leaving no room for argument. His gaze was fierce and determined and if Logan didn’t know him already, he’d probably be just a little bit scared. It was kind of hot. “I don’t like you being in there by yourself.”

Remus looked at him, clearly surprised. “I thought you didn’t like fights.”

“I don’t. But I’m not leaving my partner in there to fend for himself. Hell no.”

Logan ignored the way his heart sped up and asked, “You don’t want to go with Leo? Be a lookout?”

“Normally I’d say yes, but if someone does end up seeing him, one person raises less suspicion than two.” Finn said with a shrug. “It’ll also be easier to start a fight with two people.”

“If you’re getting arrested in Slytherin, you’ll need disguises.” Remus said, looking the cubs over. “They’ll take mugshots of you at the station. We can’t risk it.”

“Ok, so who do we go to for that?”

“Ooh!” Leo piped up with a happy, unfairly adorable smile. “I actually know this one!”

***

When they entered the disguise office the following day a woman with long, blonde hair looked up at them from a rapidly moving sewing machine. Finn feared for her fingers as they inched closer to the bobbing needle, but she barely batted an eye as she took her foot off the pedal and smiled in delight when she spotted Leo. “Nutty! How’s it going?”

Leo smiled back and gave her a warm hug. He looked like he gave good hugs, Finn thought. All tall and long-limbed like that. “Hey, Nat. Good to see you.”

“Kasey told me you’re on a mission. Look at you, all official and taking down the Snakes!” She stood on her tiptoes to ruffle his hair. “So grown up!”

“Stop.” Leo laughed, taking a step back and dodging her hand. “Y’all treat me like I’m twelve.” He seemed to remember Logan and Finn were with him and his cheeks turned red as he looked over at them. “Uh, guys this is Natalie. Nat, these are my partners Finn and Logan.”

“Nice to meet you boys.” She said, shaking both their hands. “So you’re here for disguises?”

Finn nodded, then started explaining the premise of their op, watching Natalie a bit nervously as she looked him over thoroughly. It was a bit unnerving, even when he knew it was just to get a good idea of what she needed to do for a disguise. Her gaze was calculating, like she could figure out everything about them with a single look.

Maybe she could.

Finally, she spoke up. “We’ll have to change that hair. How do you feel about wash-out hair dye? Normally I’d just give you a wig, but if you’re getting in a fight it could get pulled off. And you.” She turned to Logan, taking a second to look him over. “I have so many ideas for you. I have a feeling you’re going to love it. Oh, and Nut?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve got a cop uniform that should fit you.”

He bit back disappointment. Finn was dyeing his hair, (which was a bit of a tragedy, really – Leo thought his hair was really pretty, especially out in the sun) Logan was doing who knows what, and all Leo got was a uniform? “Oh. Ok.” He looked over at his partners. “I’ll meet you back in the bullpen?”

“Sounds good.” Logan responded. As soon as Leo closed the door behind him, Natalie faced Logan again with a wicked smile.

“How do you feel about tattoos?”

***

Logan and Finn found Leo having a staring contest with a small, god-awful painted eagle paperweight on Finn’s desk.

“I see you’ve met Brad!” Finn said happily, giving the eagle a pat on the head and startling Leo in the process. He seemed to jump a foot in the air before he realized Finn wasn’t a threat.

“I’m pretty sure it’s haunted.” Leo said, looking away from it slowly. Those beady little eyes seemed like they were staring into his soul and finding it wanting. “I’m from New Orleans, I can tell- holy shit.” He said when he caught sight of his partners.

Finn’s hair was dark brown, his freckles tragically hidden from view. Natalie had also done some makeup magic to accentuate different lines of his face, changing his profile and making him barely recognizable. Logan’s hair was now a dirty blonde. Both of his arms and one collarbone were littered with dark, swooping ink in varying different shapes and patterns. They were both wearing more casual clothes than Leo had ever seen them in, looking soft and comfy instead of like polished, professional spies.

“If I wasn’t expecting it, I’m not sure I could recognize you.” Leo said slowly, trying to get his brain back up and running as he gently grabbed one of Logan’s arms and turned it this way and that, looking at the tattoos in awe. They looked so real.

Logan grinned. “Yeah, Nat’s a pro.” He followed Leo’s gaze down at his fake tattoos wistfully. “Sometimes I wish I wasn’t a spy, just so I could get tattoos.” He couldn’t have anything about him be easy to recognize as a covert operative – it would make him too easy to track down and get compromised. Tattoos unfortunately fell into that category. His eyes landed on the eagle paperweight Leo was staring down earlier. He laughed. “O’Hara, what the fuck is that?”

“It’s Brad! My brother is a spy, too – works out of Tampa. When I joined, we created this competition: whoever brought in the most criminals in a year got to keep Brad on their desk.” Finn preened, looking fondly at the creepy eagle. “Yours truly has the honor this year.”

Leo glared at it mistrustfully. “That thing needs to be burned. Or I could smoke it out with sage for you. I’ve got some from Marie Laveau’s House of Voodoo back home. That’ll get rid of the spirit for sure.”

Finn gasped in horror. “How dare you? Brad is a treasure and deserves to be protected at all costs.”

“I strongly disagree.”

“It is not haunted, it’s a symbol of being a winner-”

“As much as I’m loving this conversation,” Logan interrupted, looking amusedly between his partners. “We should probably get going if we want to get to Slytherin in time. Loops already placed the anonymous tip about the other gang, so we’re all set. Ready?”

“Ready.” Finn echoed, giving Brad one last loving pat for good luck before heading towards the door, Logan by his side. Leo picked up his pace to walk alongside the other two.

“Please don’t make me sit in the backseat again.”

“But you’re the rookie.”

“I’m also the tallest. You try being stuck with your knees to your chest for a several hour road trip. Not fun.”

***

Finn laughed as Logan stumbled during their “drunken meandering” in the park near the Slytherin precinct and threw an arm around his shoulder. He spotted a uniformed officer talking on his phone a few yards away, apparently on break. He knew Leo was also out there somewhere, keeping tabs on them and relaying information to Sirius and Loops. Since Finn and Logan were getting arrested, they didn’t want to be caught with mics and earpieces on them. That would really raise suspicions and get their cover blown for sure. So Leo was keeping an eye on them now and Loops would do the same via the security cameras once they were both inside the precinct.

“There’s an officer to our left.” Finn said, leaning close to Logan to murmur into his ear and knocking their heads clumsily together. He could just barely see the curve of Logan’s smile from that vantage point, almost taunting him with how easy it would be to press a kiss there. Just a slight movement of his chin and he could do it. Refraining took all of Finn’s willpower.

He moved away. “Now all we need to do is get his attention and get ourselves arrested.”

Logan leaned in close and eliminated all the space Finn had just put between them, green eyes bright and mischievous and luminous under the artificial light of a nearby streetlamp. “I’ve got an idea.”

Finn simply stared. “Huh?”

“You know how I hate the police?” The brunet-turned-blond asked, grabbing Finn’s hands and walking backwards. Finn followed the siren’s call without hesitation. If he crashed into the rocks and sank because of him – well. Drowning would be worth it.

He had to urge his brain to focus and vaguely remembered that conversation from New Year’s and the rant about abuse of power that came with it. Even drunk off his ass, Logan had made some very good points. “Yeah.” Finn glanced over Logan’s shoulder as they approached the parked police car.

“We’re really going to piss them off today. Go with it.” Were the last words out of Logan’s mouth as he backed himself up against the police car, pulled Finn flush against him, and crashed their lips together. Finn barely missed a beat before he was kissing back, moving a hand up to cradle the back of Logan’s head. On New Year’s – when Finn was convinced Logan was going to kiss him but didn’t – Finn imagined what kissing him would be like. He pictured it soft, tantalizing, and teasing, just like the rest of their night had been. It was somewhat like that, and yet Finn was still off by miles. This kiss was a lot of things – it was warm and feisty and absolutely addictive – but soft didn’t fit the description at all. Logan kissed enthusiastically, if not a little sloppily. Finn couldn’t really tell if that was part of the drunk ruse or not.

Fuck, this was a con. It wasn’t real. This was for the mission, and nothing else.

But then why did it feel so real?

Finn pushed the thoughts away as he angled his head and deepened the kiss, inhaling sharply through his nose as he only then remembered the necessity that was breathing. He might not get this opportunity again, so he was going to use this chance to make Logan weak in the knees. Finn’s brain knew it was a horrible idea, but he wanted Logan to remember this, to think about it before he went to bed that night and wonder what if. If they weren’t spies or partners or on the biggest operation of their entire careers, what if he could have this?

If this was the only time Finn would ever get to kiss Logan, he was also going to make sure he remembered every tiny detail: the way Logan’s breath hitched when he bit down on his bottom lip, the feel of cold hands slipping under his sweatshirt, the rise and fall of his chest against Finn’s.

“Hey now!” A gruff voice shouted, grabbing Finn’s shoulder and pulling the two apart. “Cut it out.”

Finn staggered back – which was not an act. He was just that off balance, mind reeling. The police officer was glaring at him sternly, looking very annoyed. Finn shrugged carelessly, letting his words slur. “I would say sorry, but I mean – come on. Look at him. Can you blame me?”

Leo watched from his vantage point on a nearby park bench, something twisting painfully in his chest.

He could admit he was jealous – that was the easy part. But he wasn’t jealous in a way that made any sense. He was jealous of both of them. He wanted both of them. And yeah, it was a con and they were just making out to get the officers’ attentions, but it sure looked genuine. There were some things you just couldn’t fake.

The way Logan was gazing at Finn was one of them.

Of all people, he had to catch feelings for spies. Not just one spy – two. Two spies who may or may not have feelings for each other.

Fuck.

This is what I get for letting myself speculate, I guess.

“Leo?” Remus’ voice asked through his earpiece. “What’s going on?”

Leo focused back on the mission at hand and forced his voice to stay even. “They’re, uh, making out against a cop car.”

Sirius laughed loudly, while Remus just sighed long-sufferingly. “That’s one way to do it, I guess.”

“They’re egging the cop on, now.” Leo said, watching as Logan’s shoulders tensed and he said something harsh to the cop. “Looks like it won’t be long.”

Sure enough, the cop whipped out his handcuffs and motioned for Leo’s partners to turn around and put their hands behind their backs. They were loaded into the back of the cop car, and Leo allowed his eyes to follow it as it drove off towards the precinct before getting to his feet and walking in the same direction. “They’re on their way. Let me know when all the action starts.”

“Copy that.”

The good thing about being on a mission was that Leo didn’t really have time to internally reflect or try and decipher his feelings. He had a job to do. He couldn’t afford to mess this up because he was too busy stuck in his own head.

He did, however, assume he had enough time to not rush his walk to the precinct. Finn and Logan still needed to be searched, booked, and put in the holding cell before they could even think of starting the riot. So he kept his gait slow and let himself get lost in the sound of the wind sweeping through the trees and the rustle of dead leaves as they danced across the sidewalk.

He shoved a hand in his pocket, finding the old, worn, familiar lock there and fiddled with the dial.

***

Things in the holding cell were… not exactly going to plan.

First of all, there were about half the number of gang members in the holding cell than they anticipated. This wasn’t great, but it wasn’t the end of the world either. It might be harder to get everyone in the precinct to pay attention, but Finn was still confident in their ability to cause a scene. Then it got stranger.

The gang members were absolutely delightful.

Three were sitting by Logan, sharing stories behind their numerous tattoos and rolling up their sleeves to show off more ink. Four more were in a cuddle puddle in one of the corners of the cell, trying to get some sleep. One was even sitting by Finn, although he had made no attempt to strike up a conversation or anything. Finn was usually pretty comfortable with his height – he was tall, by most people’s standards. But the guy sitting next to him was huge. He was at least three inches taller than Leo, and easily twice as broad. With an unreadable face made of stone, the guy was also practically impossible to get a read on. Finn figured he needed to do something to get the ball rolling. Poor Nutter Butter would be stuck outside all night at this rate.

So he braced himself, turned to the guy next to him, and said, “Hey.”

Not his best conversation starter.

The guy looked at him strangely. Finn decided to keep going. “I’m Finn.”

“Tanner.”

“How’s your night going, Tanner?”

Tanner seemed to think Finn was certifiably insane. “Well, seeing that I’m currently in jail, not great.”

“Right… right.” Finn trailed off, cringing internally. He was so off his game tonight. Of course, he knew why, but that didn’t make it any easier to snap out of it. All he could think of was pressing Logan against a cop car and how much he wanted to do it again. But it wasn’t that simple-

“Are you ok?” Finn looked back up at Tanner, who shrugged stiffly. “You seem a little stressed.”

Finn thought about it, then decided fuck it. He’d never see this guy again. And who would Tanner tell? He blurted out, “I kissed my coworker today.”

Tanner blinked, then leaned back against the wall. “Ok.”

“I don’t think he feels the same way.”

He didn’t even bat an eye and the whole being attracted to the same gender thing. His face still revealed nothing. Finn couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or not. “Did he kiss you back?”

“Well, yeah.” Finn said, glancing across the cell at Logan and thinking back on the feeling of those lips pressed against his, the texture of the soft curls beneath his fingertips.

“Then what the fuck is the holdup?”

Finn sighed, looking back at Tanner. “It’s not that simple.”

“Look. He either likes you or he doesn’t. What good does it do you to keep guessing when you could get a definitive answer by just asking him? Everyone seems to forget how simple things are when you break them down into components. It’s just simple communication, dude. That’s it.”

“But-” Finn stopped short, taking a second to think when he was struck with a realization. It wasn’t out of the blue, nor was it completely surprising. It still felt like getting hit by a fucking train, though.

Tanner let him stay silent for a second, then prodded curtly, “But?”

“I… I think I might have feelings for another of my friends, too.” Finn thought of sunny blond hair, kind blue eyes, and a warm, dimpled smile.

Shit.

“You know polyamorous relationships are a thing, right?” Tanner sat up straighter, looking at Finn eagerly. It was the first emotion Finn had seen on his face, and also strangely endearing. “I have a ton of articles I can send you if you’re interested.”

Finn couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face. “Thanks, man. I think I might have to wait it out, though. We all work together and it would get so complicated so fast. Maybe once we finish the project we’re working on together.”

Tanner followed his eyes across the cell to Logan. Finn hadn’t even realized he was staring at him again. “Is that the one you kissed or the other one?”

Finn arched an eyebrow, which the gang member snorted at. “You aren’t subtle, bud.”

“That’s the one I kissed. Well, he kissed me, if we’re being technical. But I don’t think he meant it. It was kind of a – a dare, I guess you could say.”

Tanner’s face turned stormy. “He did what now?”

Finn frantically started to backtrack. “It’s fine. I mean, I’m not mad or anything-”

Tanner stood up and pointed angrily at Logan. “You!” He bellowed, voice like thunder. “What the fuck is your problem?”

Logan looked from Tanner to Finn, then back to Tanner, brow knitting in confusion. “What?”

“Did no one teach you about consent you little piece of-”

And then Tanner drew back his fist and slammed it into Logan’s cheek in a brutal cross hit. Silence rang through the holding cell as Logan reeled backwards, raising a hand to his cheek, which was already red. When he looked up at Tanner again, his eyes were a combination of furious and excited.

It looked like they were getting their fight now.

Finn managed to get out the words “holy shit” before all hell broke loose.

Logan threw the next punch, aiming for the stomach first and then the temple when Tanner doubled over, knocking the breath out of him. One of the other gang members took offense to that on Tanner’s behalf and went after Logan, who dodged the first swing easily and collided his fist into the guy’s nose.

The three gang members who were talking about tattoos with Logan instantly jumped to back him up, while the four who were sleeping leapt to their feet and tried to make sense of the situation. There was a charged energy in the air, an undercurrent of adrenaline and anger mingling with it.

Finn hated fights. They were messy and ugly and painful. Plus he was a conman – if his face was all beat up and bruised, no one would trust him and he’d never get any of his jobs done. So he tried to avoid them as much as he could, but he didn’t think he was getting out of this one.

Logan turned his fiery gaze on Finn, making him take an aborted step backwards before he realized this was the plan. They were supposed to be starting a fight. Finn wasn’t sure he could fight his partner, though. Especially since he’d kissed the guy just shy of two hours ago. Luckily he didn’t have to think too hard about it, because Tanner was back on his feet and charging at Logan, along with two other gang members.

Logan moved like the ocean when he fought – smooth and fluid, but also unpredictable and dangerous and wild. He also clearly knew exactly what he was doing, how to exact the most damage on his opponents. He used his size to his advantage by punching upwards and using his leg muscles to land harder punches. With shorter limbs like that, his blows were quick, effective, and brutal. Logan also seemed to be a southpaw, delivering brutal body shots directly to the liver.

It was absolutely mesmerizing.

Unfortunately, Finn was too busy watching Logan to notice the guy coming towards him until he was tackled forcibly to the ground. His head smacked the concrete floor painfully, stunning him for a brief second. When the spots disappeared from his field of vision, he looked up at the guy standing over him.

“Fuck you, man.”

***

“Nut, you’re good to go.” Remus said as he watched cops swarm the holding cell. “I’ll keep an eye out for any stragglers that might catch you.”

“Thanks.” Leo said, and Remus watched the security footage of the side door as Leo crouched by it and began picking the lock. Sirius looked over his shoulder and whistled lowly.

“Damn, Tremblay’s got some moves.”

Remus briefly switched his gaze over to the footage of the holding cell before scanning the hallways for stray officers. “That’s kind of his thing. He gets sent into situations where things are dicey and people need some sense knocked into them.”

“Maybe he should teach O’Hara. He’s already on the ground.”

“What?” Leo asked, sounding concerned as he unlocked the door and slipped inside. “Is he ok?”

Remus watched Finn climb to his feet and face the guy who knocked him down, getting into an admittedly terrible fighting stance. “He’s fine. Head straight down that hallway. The evidence room is the last door on your left.”

“I hate not knowing what’s going on.” Leo muttered, creeping effortlessly down the hall. “Now I understand why Logan hated the bank missions so much.”

Sirius was watching the action in the holding cell eagerly. “I think this mission more than makes up for those. He’s having a blast. Look at him go! He’s a little ball of rage.”

Leo laughed under his breath as he broke into the evidence room seemingly effortlessly. “Ooh, you’d better not let him hear you say that.”

Remus frowned, watching the blond locate the safe and crouch in front of it. Something about him was… off. He’d seemed fine earlier, but now he seemed subdued. His voice was carefully controlled and even, a blank mask on his face.

So the question was: what had happened between 10 am and now that made him feel like he had to distance himself?

The safe opened within a few minutes. Leo switched out the flash drives and pocketed the real one, closing the safe again and rising to his feet. “Headed out now.”

“Coast is clear.” Remus said, looking back at the holding cell. The officers were pulling people apart and seemed to be getting things back under control. “Good timing – looks like the fight is wrapping up. Now all you’ve got to do is pay their bail after a little while and hit the road.”

“Perfect. That’s the easy part.”

Paying bail, it turned out, was not the easy part.

After what felt like the thirtieth time he’d signed a fake name on the forms and having to jump through countless hoops, Leo still had to wait over an hour until Finn and Logan were processed and released. So he sat in one of the uncomfortable chairs in the lobby and waited. And waited. And waited.

When his partners finally walked through the doors, Leo did a double-take. He knew they’d been in a fight, but good lord.

“Y’all look like shit.” He said, taking in Logan’s bruised cheek, the way Finn was cradling his left arm to his chest, and their overall rumpled appearances. He also noticed the way they were steadfastly refusing to look at each other.

Logan snorted. “Thanks, Peanut.”

Leo shrugged, holding his hands up defensively. “I’m just telling the truth here. Don’t kill the messenger.”

“Let’s go home.” Finn said wearily as he led the way outside and towards their car, limping slightly. “I think I might be allergic to this makeup. It’s starting to itch.”

Later that night, when they were all in their separate apartments scattered across the city, all three of them faced a restless night of staring up at their ceilings and wondering, in some variation or another, what if.

#lumosinlove #sweater weather #coast to coast #coops #sirius black #remus lupin #o'knutzy #finn o'hara #logan tremblay #leo knut #clandestine #cw: violence

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pyroclastic727 · 4 years ago

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Amity and forgiveness

Episode 15 showed Amity at the most expressive she’s ever been throughout this entire series. Above is a collage of a 11 expressions I’ve seen from her (there’s one accidental repeat but I didn’t save the document and I’m lazy), and in every single one of them, she is sad or scared. I love seeing Amity having an expression other than her Resting Blight Face, but I hate that that expression is a negative one.

A lot of the reason Amity was scared throughout this episode has to do with the fact that this is also the first time Amity messes up badly. I mean, she’s an arsonist now! And if that’s not bad enough, Luz is also going to see all the things she did to Willow, from Willow’s perspective: how she used Willow’s greatest insecurity to get rid of her friendship,

This begs the question: why does Amity care?

I mean, if I committed arson on someone’s mind, while living in a magical place, I would be a bit panicked. But if it were my parents’ fault that I ruined my friend’s life, I would be apt to blame them, rather than blame myself for it. (I would also tell my friend about the ban). And I would never try to erase myself from someone else’s memory; if they met me, then they’re stuck with all the experiences I’ve given them.

So why would Amity go so far as to burn herself away?

I mean, this proves a lot of stuff. Sure, Amity is an arsonist, which is really cute. But arson is only cute when it doesn’t hurt someone. Amity’s arson was designed to erase herself completely from someone’s life. This means that there’s a strong part of her that believes that Willow would be better off if she had never met Amity.

As someone who has gone through mental health issues, this is extremely concerning.

Amity doesn’t believe she is capable of being forgiven.

Let’s analyze this. First off, there’s the fact that she sees hers and Willow’s memory hanging up and looks terrified. I would say her face drains of color but she’d have to have color to begin with. Regardless of that, she literally sees a memory, hanging up alone in a classroom. No one is even close to it, yet she knows that if anyone sees that, she’s toast.

So then she decides to burn it?! As lovely as that is to mock, there is something deeply disturbing that she is more inclined to try to kill the memory of herself, and risk killing Willow. It’s practically self-h*rm symbolism, with how Amity intends to hurt herself but ends up emotionally scarring a bunch of other people.

Why did she do this? Because she doesn’t know forgiveness. All she knows is that, once Luz figures out, she’s going to be mad. She’s going to hate Amity. And she wasn’t wrong.

But in Amity’s life, that’s it. All she gets is mistake and punishment. Every time she slips up, whether that’s with having a friend like Willow, or the library incident, or bad grades, you bet that she gets punished for it. Otherwise, why would she be so apt to delete herself from Willow? She doesn’t think Willow or Luz will ever forgive her.

Now let’s flash forward a bit. Even in Willow’s brain, Amity still tries to hide stuff. The hopeful part of her sees this as a date. I mean, Amity thrives in places away from her parents (the library, the Knee, Willow’s brain), and that’s where she tends to have romantic breakthroughs with Luz. Not to mention that she is all over Luz--hugging her, blushing at her, grabbing her hand, throwing herself at her. Amity wants this to be quality time with Luz, away from the rest of the world.

Of course, there’s still a big part of her that is seeing what’s happening with Willow and wants to hide it. She does her best to stop Luz from seeing her memories, getting to the point where Luz literally holds Amity back by the face (which is my favorite Lumity moment). She seems perfectly fine with large parts of Willow’s memory being missing. Even when faced with immediate danger, she needs Luz to literally push her into a memory, because she personally would be okay with burning away in Willow’s mind.

You can see, throughout it, how often she’s scared. The only times she smiles in this episode is when Luz is doing something to cheer her up. As for the rest of it, she still thinks Luz is going to punish her.

It worsens at the end. When Amity has to face what she did to Willow, she’s terrified. She literally hides behind Luz, which would be extremely romantic if it weren’t for the fact that Amity was scared, and here on this blog we do not like when Amity is scared.

Furthermore, she lets Willow say her entire monologue before she refutes it. Amity is so used to punishment that it’s instinctual to let Willow reap her full emotional damage on Amity. And only then does she show that her parents made her do it, and she literally didn’t have another option. She was (mostly) innocent in this, and yet she still sat there and took the punishment. As someone who’s sought punishment for something I was innocent for, I can say that this was a force of habit, combined with some intense gaslighting on her part.

Then isn’t it so poetic that Luz comforts Amity? I mean, look at this!

Luz literally says “I’m not here to judge.” Has anyone ever said that to Amity before? As a part of the popular clique, you bet that Amity is subject to constant judgment. When she gets home, she gets even more judgment. Even Edric and Emira are always looking for ways to embarrass her. Amity is constantly shamed and ridiculed and punished for her mistakes. For Luz to offer no judgment, no hard feelings, nothing but kindness and acceptance? It’s enough to make Amity’s walls come crashing down.

Of course, her walls can’t crash down for too long. Sure, Amity gets to keep her tiny hand wrapped around Luz’s when they first pop out of Willow’s brain. But it doesn’t last long. And then Willow wakes up, and Luz goes crazy. Calling her “my girl,” hugging her so hard that Willow will never forget her again.

Meanwhile, look at Amity’s face! She’s devastated! This is the moment when she realizes: it doesn’t matter. Sure, Luz can say nice things. But in the end, it doesn’t matter. Luz doesn’t like her. She could hug Willow like she hugged Amity, with even more vigor than she gave to Amity. That’s because Amity will never be perfect, never be kind, never be enough for Luz.

Or so she thinks, until she waves, and Luz waves at her slyly. And then Willow offers forgiveness, meaning that those two can interact at school. Once again, Luz proves Amity wrong, that she can be forgiven, and she really has nothing to be sorry for, because she’s allowed to make mistakes.

#amity blight #amity blight analysis #the owl house #toh #owl house #the owl house analysis #toh analysis #the owl house meta #toh meta #owl house analysis #owl house meta #originalpost #lumity #amillow #lumillow #long post #totally worth reading

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