#also one of these days i am going to be so. so brave and put the country music ive been listening to on here that day is certainly not today
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iloveelliefanfics · 2 days ago
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um... wuhluhwuh? part 2
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a/n: heyy loveliest ellie fans thank you so much for loving the first part of this, i wanted to start by thanking you. here's the second part, if you haven't read part one here it is: part one, so yeah enjoy it and thank you for all the support!!
synopsis: it takes place a day right after, you ask her out to go to the Winter dance together :p (i saw a cute dellie edit and i thought I'd go with this)
proofread! wc: 1,6k
pairing: awkward ellie x reader
What the hell even happened yesterday? You question yourself at 2:13 am. You couldn't sleep. She was all over your mind, you tried to crush the imagination of her in your thoughts. Tried to get rid of how good you fit in her arms, how good it makes you feel hugging her. You can't even imagine how it would make you feel if she had the courage to kiss you yesterday. You thought to yourself "maybe I should've made the first move", there were a lot of maybe's and what if's. That didn't change anything even though you wished it would've. Does she sleep well? Does she even sleep? All you could think of was Ellie and the way she smiles at you, the way she makes you laugh, the way she makes you feel things you never thought was possible. You made the decision that you'll be brave. You'll ask her out. You'll ask if she'd like to go to the Winter dance. You knew she wasn't fond of these things but maybe spending time with you and being with you would make her want to go to that "stupid dance" as she liked to call it.
In the morning you woke up with four hours of sleep, tired but excited with a mixture of being nervous. You were excited for the dance but nervous of what Ellie would say. You did your morning routine, ready to go to Ellie's place to talk to her, -about the dance, about yesterday- you also had the feeling she wanted to talk to you. As you walked through town in the morning, greeting people, it reminded you how good it is to be a part of a community. Sometimes the days you spent outside and the feelings, the memories came back. You tried to think of something else on your way to your so-called friend. You wished those days never happened. You happened to have talked about those days to Ellie, in "exchange" she told you her story. You two were so similar it hurt. As all these thoughts were running through your mind, you arrived at Ellie's garage, hesitating before knocking. "C'mon Y/N, don't be a fucking coward, it's just a dance."
You knocked on the wooden door, with shaking hands, hearing loud footsteps from inside. As Ellie opened the door you noticed that she definitely had just woken up. Her hair was a mess, tiredness visible on her face that had come along with a big yawn. "Good morning Ellie!" You welcomed her with a big grin, trying to play off your nervousness.
"Morning Y/N." She said between yawns. You giggled at how sleepy she was. "Didn't sleep much last night huh?" You asked, mischievously.
"Couldn't sleep at all, but I'm guessing you didn't get much sleep either." She looked all over you, taking every inch of you. "Anyway come on in!" She stepped aside so you could walk through the door. "Yeah I... I couldn't either.." You mumbled while going inside. You sat down on her couch looking at the current comic she was reading. She sat down right next to you.
"So um, i kinda wanted to talk about something, specifically two things." You looked at her hoping she's willing to have the talk. "Yeah, Y/N, I'm all ears, wassup?" She asked and leaned closer to you, paying full attention to what you had to say.
"Basically just about yesterday... and today. I was actually wondering if you'd like to go to the dance with me... I know you said it's some stupid dance but i thought it would be great hanging out and y'know, ju-" You couldn't finish, she put her hand on your left thigh and gave you a reassuring smile.
"Of course I'd like to go with you" You looked at her tattooed arm that was resting on your thigh now, feeling flushed. "N-nice! Um... and about yesterday... uh, y'know the almost kiss..." It's like she can read your mind, she finished your sentence. "It didn't happen cause it wasn't the right time. I hesitated because i didn't know if you'd want it, if you'd want me. But now that you're bringing it up, I have a feeling you would've wanted it." She was now caressing your thigh. She never showed this side of hers. It was bold and just not that Ellie awkward who's all about her comics. What demon took her? You questioned.
"Okay first of all, when did you become so fucking bold and straightforward about kissing me or even wanting me? Second of all, of course I wanted it, third of all, what is happening??" It was like you panicked, she sensed how tense you were and placed her left hand on your face, forcing you to look at her.
"Hey, it'll happen when the right time comes. I want it to be special. I want it to be so fucking memorable because that's what you deserve." She was now caressing both your thigh and face, making you feel relaxed and safe.
"O-Okay... Um, so what do we do now?" You placed your hand on hers, pressing your cheek to her palm.
"Let's watch a movie, then we could find out later what we could do." She smirked at you, which made you flushed even more. But she seemed to be really smitten by you and her face was all red. It was adorable.
The two of you spent your time until the dance with watching movies, playing games, and Ellie made you read some comics with her. She was actually just explaining the lore of her current comic while you tried to read it. It's been a while since you laughed this much. You were glad it was with her. She always made you smile, and always made your day brighten up. You were so thankful that she is your friend. Or maybe soon to be girlfriend. You two now started flirting, and getting closer, the stolen glances lasted longer. It was really a matter of time now. Before the dance the two of you separated to get ready, both of you agreed to meet later on.
At the dance
You arrive to the dance feeling nauseous from how nervous you are. You walk in and see your friend Dina dancing around and Jesse and Ellie talking at the bar table. You wipe your hands in your jeans, and walk towards your friends.
"Hey guys, wassup?" You try to be casual, but can't stop grinning when Ellie looks at you and walks up to you to hug you.
"Heyyy Y/N" She hugs you tightly, taking your scent in. "I'm glad you're here" She pulls away from the hug, setting her drink down.
"I'll let you two talk." Jesse nods towards you and Ellie then winks at her, he walks away, leaving you two alone.
"Let's go dance!" You try to yell over the music that was playing and you pull Ellie towards the dance floor. She smiles at the way you intertwine your fingers with her. She puts her arms around your waist, pulling you closer to her. You put your arms around her neck and tuck a strand of her behind her ear.
"Sooo... did you miss me in those very long hours we spent separately?" You chuckle while asking it as a joke, but her expression doesn't soften, it hardens and her face turns from happy to serious.
"I very much missed your joking ass." Her tone is serious and tough but still has a hint of mischievousness. You were left speechless. As you dance with her it feels like it's the best night of your life. The memories you made together so far, and how far you've overcome your fears with her. So deciding it is the right time you lean closer to her face.
"I think this is the right time." You whisper and kiss her. At first she doesn't kiss you back, surprised by your sudden move but when she comes back to Earth she kisses you back.
Ellie's pov:
She thought to herself that she can't believe you wanted to go to this dance with her, She never thought you'd want to be with her.
"How the fuck did I win this gorgeous girl?" She mumbled as she put down her journal. You only ever lived in her journal, the sketches she made of you, the songs she's written about you.
"Maybe I could play one of them tonight after the dance if it goes well with her." She said to herself again, lost in thoughts.
"Okay Ellie you can't fuck this up, if you fuck up, you fuck up your friendship too." She mumbled to herself as she put on her outworn converse sneakers, ready to go to the dance.
At the dance; Ellie's pov:
She's at the bar with Jesse talking about you.
As the two of them were talking she sensed your presence, as she turned around she saw the biggest grin on your face that she could ever imagine. As she hugged you tightly she wished she could stay in this moment with you. You felt so good between her arms, your scent was the best thing she had ever taken in, you were mesmerizing. You invited her to dance, she was thinking whether or not would be the time to finally take matters into her hand and kiss you. She was so nervous but happy. Happy to be with the girl she's had a crush on from the very first day. You took the first step and kissed her, taking her off guard, but she kissed you back. After this you can be sure as hell that her journal pages will be dedicated to you even more, and a song will be played for you tonight.
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wizardnuke · 4 months ago
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bf says ive been going thru it and doing really well at that. bursts into tears.
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pancakehouse · 2 years ago
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kisses @serethereal ! five songs i’ve been listening to recently IT’S HOZIER WEEK BABY!!!!!!!!!
eat your young / hozier
all things end / hozier
through me (the flood) / hozier
angel of small death and the codeine scene / hozier
almost (sweet music) / hozier
tagging: @maybebabyplease @somerubberband @blackberry-sunset @moongays @thebloatedfrog xo
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pepprs · 2 years ago
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my mom isn’t letting my dad go back to his office bc him being out of the house stresses her out and makes her have a flare up and it’s like kind of insane. like i understand why the idea of him doing that would make her panicky and angry as someone who also struggles w separation anxiety and abandonment shit / has physical symptoms from that kind of stress (though not to the same degree ofc) but also he is a grown man. he should be allowed to go to his office and not have to shape his entire life around her needs. and she keeps guilt tripping him out of it and it’s impacting his quality of life a lot and the whole thing is kind of… hm
#purrs#delete later#also she’s guilt tripping me into coming to the stupid fucking potluck on sunday bc she needs the extra help and it’s like… what are you#gonna do when i move out. like i am a grown woman and i should be able to choose how i spend my two precious weekend days. and my dad is a#grown man and he should be able to choose where he works. like is that not a little bit insane. i get it but also….. i do think it s kind of#fucked ip that it’s her way or the highway and her needs take priority over all of ours and she’s asking us to bend to what she wants when#she wants it. like i get it bc she’s sick but it’s not fair for her to expect that from my dad especially. particularly when me and my#brother are back at work / school in more high risk environments than my dad who would be in a private office alll day. and the thing is no#one is brave enough to all her on it bc if we did it would be the END of the world. she even threw a fit on my dads bday and complained bc#the things he wanted to do were things she didn’t want to do like all the man wanted to do was go mini golfing and when that wasn’t good#enough he just wanted to go on a walk and my mom complained the whole time and also scoffed the movie he wanted to watch and said it was#boring and it’s like… wtf it’s HIS birthday??? but what do you expect from the woman who (and in fairness her friends got her these as gifts#but still) has TWO kitchen items that say some variation of ‘a marriage is when one is always right and the other is always the husband’ 💀#i look at that little plaque every night bc it’s in front of the sink when im doing dishes and it makes me so fucking angry. like my dad is#a whole fucking person and he can be right too and he deserves to make choices and be happy and not have his wife put him down all the time.#idk. and she puts down his family all the time too and complains when he wants to do the most reasonable things for his own enjoyment that#don’t align with hers and criticizes his interests all the time and it just sucks to see. he never shows hurt or anything so idk how he#feels about it but it makes me so angry and sad and when i tell her to stop she just lashes out at me so. 🤪. like how do we get her to stop#making her needs more important than everyone else’s bc… she may be our mom / his wife / whateger but that doesn’t make her queen. no one is#(andalso this has only gotten worse bc of covid / her being sick. like this has been a lifelong thing it’s just it’s a lot worse now bc the#circumstances gave her room / forced her to have to take up more space. and it’s just so frustrating. i get it. but none of us are pawns or#dolls or subordinates or anything. there’s 5 adults here and we should all be able to make choices and not be guilt tripped by her. lol#)
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badolmen · 6 months ago
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gorlie….
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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 10 months ago
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Heylo my maggotsies... I'm sorry to do this but I have a thing that I really, really need to do (thank you Ash for helping me realise that) but I'm terrified to. so well. I'm going to make one of the posts (Neil reblogged me a couple of days ago so I feel pretty safe making one now since he only lurks by once in two weeks so this is as good a time as it gets to make a post and not expect many notes, yes I'm an overthinker and I'm actually scared of this getting notes).
Sigh. Here goes.
...I'm scared of even typing it.
Nope okay I can do this let's go.
If this post gets 1k notes, I'll look up jobs in design and film making that don't need a college degree.
2k notes, I'll sign up for an Alliance Francaise course so I can have another language on my CV, and I'll find a course that teaches me how to use design software.
5k, I'll look up distance learning alternatives, because just talking about physical college yesterday made me spend the whole morning and afternoon today in and out of nightmares screaming. Fuck.
10k, I'll tell my mum that I can't do the offline college. She's been talking to me about it, but I've been dodging because I'm not well-off and I really need to be earning and idk how to do that without college and I feel so guilty.
15k, I'll officially back out from the college (does that count as dropping out, if it hasn't begun? maybe half. i am a college and a half dropout, my 11th grade self would hate me and my 10th grade self would refuse to believe it).
I don't know what I'll do then. I don't know how to live as trans here in India, I don't know how to earn enough to be able to help my family, I don't know what I'm good at and I'm so fucking terrified. But. I spoke to @random-doctor-on-the-internet last night (I love you Ash you're such a fucking amazing human) and they made me realise that well maybe landing in a hospital with steroids to relieve an allergy attack because of exam stress isn't normal and so.
Well. Here I am. I know I can't do it, but I'm scared to risk everything, it's just not something people do here, dropping out. But also (TW s**cide statistics mentioned below the cut)... And so I've just. Got to do it, got to save myself and say no to college (cue say no to school, kids joke). Somehow be brave enough. And yeah.
To quote a financial express article: "In an alarming situation, a total of 7,62,648 suicides were reported in India between 2018 to 2022, Of this student suicides account for 7.6% at 59,239". Maybe if more people did say fuck you to the system here, that wouldn't be the case. That number could have been 59,240 (aside from everyone who wasn't counted and hushed up), that could have been me, and I don't want to put myself in that situation again. You know? Yeah.
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alicentofhightower · 5 months ago
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being the targtower’s youngest sister would include…
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pairings: platonic!alicent hightower x daughter!reader, platonic!aegon targaryen x sister!reader, platonic!helaena targaryen x sister!reader, platonic!aemond targaryen x sister!reader
synopsis: what it’s like to be the youngest daughter of the green queen.
includes: reader being the only somewhat normal targtower, i went overboard on aegon’s are we surprised, might be ooc, sorry for how short alicent’s is i wasn’t feeling much inspo for her
a/n: one of my favorite things about alicent’s dynamic with her children is that they all represent a part of her: aegon, being used for politics, helaena, her innocence that she used to have, and aemond, her rage and thirst for power. so i decided to have reader represent alicent’s devotion to her family and her “duty”. hotd is so weird abt character ages so for my sanity aegon is 20, helaena is 18, aemond is 17, and reader is 16 in this. forget daeron pls
Alicent
Alicent has incredibly complicated relationships with her children. They are mirrors of her anguish, but her blood nonetheless. She will protect you and your siblings with her life, if necessary, but she also cannot look you in the eye without a pit of guilt settling in her stomach.
She feels nauseous when Viserys has you betrothed to a Lord from the Crownlands, but apart of her is satisfied with the match, though only because it means you will be allowed to stay in the Red Keep instead of leaving her.
She is just as gentle as she is with Helaena as she is with you. You are one of the only good things that have come from her. She cherishes you. When word of your pregnancy spreads through the Keep, Alicent orders an abundance of maternity gowns for you from Myr. She will always, without fail, offer you a guiding hand when going up large sets of stairs.
By all means, she is not a perfect mother, but she does what she can. She gifts you lots of her own accessories, like the hairnet she wore during Aegon’s second nameday celebration. Helaena is her “dearest love”, and you are her “sweetness.”
Trying to include you in her own private matters is one of the only ways she can spend time with you. She takes you to the Sept with her when she can, though her eyes are always averted from you.
That is one of the other strange things you’ve noticed about your mother; she can never make eye contact with you. Perhaps it is because you are with child just as she was at your age.
When the time comes, she cannot be by your side to hold your hand while you give birth. It’s improper. But she is overjoyed that both you and your son are healthy.
— “You have done well, my sweetness,” Your mother whispers, voice soft and melancholic and warm. Grand Maester Orwyle, bless him, had propped you up on great plush pillows after you’d finished your labors. He’d quietly congratulated you and helped you get comfortable in your bed, then had left you to rest.
She sits on the edge of your mattress, right by your side, thumb gingerly tracing your cheek. The forest green she’s clad in brings out the auburn of her hair. ��The babe is a beautiful one. A handsome son for the realm. I am… proud of you.”
Articulating her thoughts has never been her strong point. It is the hour of the owl now. The only sounds you can hear are the padding of raindrops against the tall windows in your chambers and the crackling of the hearth.
“Aegon’s birth came quick for me as well,” She mutters, almost to herself. Peculiarly, she clings to the little ways you are alike to one another; they are fading as the days pass by. Her brows furrow as her mind begins to race.
Your firstborn sons’ births had come with ease. You were both married off far too early in your lives. In girlhood, you had both favored naive stories of brave knights and pretty ladies and romance. You both committed yourself to duty to further the family—
She stops the list she’s making in her head there. Far more resolutely than before, as if putting a wall around herself again, she kisses your forehead and retracts into herself.
“I shall leave you be. Good night.”
Aegon
For Aegon, news of a new sibling is unsurprising. It’s the same old thing to see his mother waddling around the castle, belly swollen. He’s a little indifferent when you’re born.
As a teen, though, Aegon is certainly the type to smack you a bit too hard in the training yard and then shush you, begging for you to hit him just as hard before you wail too loud and one of your mother’s handmaidens hear and alert her of it.
It makes him feel shameful, the first time you see him drunk, stinking of the whores of Flea Bottom and sweat. You promise to not tell anyone of it, if he, in exchange, does not do it again. He still does. You still do not tell.
After the events of Driftmark, you are the one to cut his hair short. Seeing Aemond bloody and bruised had frightened you, caused you to weep in front of the crowd in the great hall, and you’d tearfully asked Aegon if you could sleep in his bed together that night. He forces you to help him trim his waves the next morning as “repayment”, though he did not actually mind it.
You grow closer as you become older. To Aegon, you are the only one who has a semblance of faith in him; your mother was constantly repulsed by him, as was your grandsire and own father. Aemond had given up on him a long, long time ago, and Helaena focused on the children far more.
On his better days, Aegon likes to fly on your dragons together. Seeing you windswept and almost free is strangely satisfying for him; he misses when you both hadn’t been burdened by what your parents had put on you. In the dead of night, he likes to imagine what life would have been like if he hadn’t been forced to marry Helaena, and you your “fat, old husband”, as he put it.
Speaking of, he’d made a great fuss at your wedding. That was the angriest he’d ever saw you; he’d drunk himself half to death at the celebration afterward, made a fool of himself when he got into a fist fight with one of your husband’s brothers. Even the bards had stopped singing to stare at the spectacle. You’d almost lost your voice that night from how loud you’d yelled at him, asking when he’d ever think of anyone but himself, cheeks flushed from deep embarrassment.
“You know of my apprehension when it comes to large events such as these, and yet you cannot steel yourself for one night for my sake? What will you do when Jaehaera is married? Light the castle aflame?”
(You do not know the reason he’d done such a thing was to make such a big scene your consummation ceremony would be an afterthought. That, and the fact he was drunk and angry.)
Some part of him feels guilty when you get pregnant. He knows, deep down, that he had no part in it, and he could not control your fate, no matter if his efforts were weak or strong. But he was still your elder brother, was he not?
One day, while you sit in a rocking chair and he plays with the twins in their nursery, you tell him, “I should like for my son to be like you.” Aegon says, quietly, that yours will be better than he ever was, with you as his mother. He vanishes back into the Street of Silk soon after that.
One of his best qualities is being able to make light of anything, and he does just that after your labors, laughing at how disheveled you are and kissing your forehead. It’s hard not to laugh with him.
Days later, at his coronation, you are the first he looks to for approval, after your mother. The subtle nod you give him makes him wonder how you would’ve reacted if he had been successful in running to Essos. He hopes neither Aemond or Cole told you of what he’d said.
After becoming king, Aegon grows to value your input more and more. On his council, he feels you are the only one to genuinely listen to his concerns and thoughts when it comes to winning the war, and so he ignores the disapproving looks the men around him give him when you come to the meetings.
He does not mention your dragon when discussing battle plans, almost seems to ignore it when Lord Jasper brings you up; your dragon is great and strong, and he knows he will have to utilize you one day, but he refuses to think of it until it’s absolutely necessary. His mind has already been spoiled by what he has seen in brothels and taverns, and he imagines it will only further be by the sights of war. Aegon will do everything he can to avoid what happened to him happening to you.
The assassins Daemon hired infiltrate the Red Keep. They kill his son, leave with his head in a sack. Aegon rages and drinks and rages. He will not allow even you to see his tears, but he cannot stop them from soaking the cloth of your dress when you hug him tenderly, as if afraid he’ll slip through your hands like sand.
Bile floods into his mouth when Otto suggests wheeling his son’s body through the city to secure the approval of the smallfolk. The image of you insisting on going instead of his mother is burned into his brain. “If you will force Helaena, then at least spare Mother and allow me to go,” You’d begged. It does nothing.
As foolish as he can be, Aegon is also not one to forget what others have done for him. You were the only one who’d taken his side against your grandfather. He is glad he was not forced to marry you, glad that he did not force you to a brothel as he did Aemond; he is glad that he has not ruined you.
Aegon’s visits to your child become less and less frequent. He loves the boy dearly, like he’s his own, but he cannot stand to look at him. It’s only a reminder of what happened to his little Jaehaerys.
Rook’s Rest destroys him. He does not even need to tell you that it was Aemond who did it, you just seem to know. There is no way for him to verbalize that he is listening to you while he is in his milk-of-the-poppy induced coma, but he does appreciate the stories you tell him while sitting at his bedside.
He specifically forbids you from looking at him while the Maesters change out his bandages, but he’ll allow you to sit on the other end of his bed with your back to him and hold his unburnt hand while they do so.
— “I feel a monster,” He admits to you one night while you light a candle on the stand next to his bed. You’re clad in a warm nightgown; many whisper that winter is coming, and it’s hard not to notice with how cold the breezes have been lately.
“Why is that?”
“You know why.”
You can’t even fight the scoff that comes from you, and you turn back to him with a frown etched deeply into your face. “You should not. You are king.”
Aegon rolls his eyes. “That did not stop our cunt of a brother from burning me like the Conqueror did Harrenhal.”
Huffing, you smooth out your dress, then walk to the other side of the bed and slowly crawl on. You’re careful not to move around too much, so as to not cause him any more injury, and sit next to him, back against the headboard. You bring your knees to your chest and wrap your arms around your legs. His eyes are slightly glossy when they meet yours.
He takes a sharp breath. “…If it had been my decision, I would have named you regent.”
You laugh incredulously at that, shaking your head. “They set aside Mother for Aemond. They would have forced you to do the same.”
Aegon raises his remaining silver brow. “I am not as feeble and weak-minded as Father. I speak truly. It is you I trust the most.”
Helaena
Helaena is perhaps the least expressive out of all of your siblings, but even she felt happy when Mother’s babe had come a girl.
She does genuinely appreciate that you do not judge her and make fun of her behind her back; she has never felt like she has been able to fit in with her ladies-in-waiting.
As mature as she is, Helaena does like to indulge girlishly sometimes; she enjoys matching her gowns with you, as well as hairstyles and (light, so as to not overstimulate her) jewelry.
Observant and introspective, Helaena also has a great memory. If you tell her you’ve had a fascination with direwolves as of late, or have particularly enjoyed reading about Valyrian history, suddenly the dresses she gifts you will subtly be embroidered with subtle little wolf icons or ancient Valyrian imagery. She is very thoughtful.
Unbeknownst to most, she also gives very good advice. There have only been a handful of times her council has not helped you. Wise and empathetic, she is, and she is always willing to listen to you explain your troubles while she plays with one of her bugs.
It pains her to see you inflicted with the same fate as she was; married off to a man you had no love for, forced to be his incubator. Just as it was during Aegon’s coronation, her head is bowed at your wedding. She does not want to look at your doom.
Despite this, she is perhaps the most supportive of you during your pregnancy; she likes suggesting names for the babe as well as crafting him little clothes for him to wear when he is born.
Although you do not understand her prophecies, it does quell her anxieties a bit that you at least listen to them instead of dismissing them like all else do.
When noise gets to be too much for her, you are the first to cover her ears with your hands, guiding her to the lush gardens of the Keep to breathe. You are the only person she has a likeness of boundaries with; when she does not want to be touched, you leave her be. It’s why you are the sibling she is fondest of.
Her hand immediately flies to grasp yours when Meleys erupts from the boards at Aegon’s coronation. The look on her face had confused you. She’d appeared fearful, but simultaneously also put at ease, as if she’d known that this was going to happen.
After Blood and Cheese, she cannot find rest at night. She takes to pacing about the Red Keep, almost looking like a ghost; pale and silver and paranoid. Despite the fact that it distracts you from your own slumber, you insist on her staying in your chambers with you. She still paces, never sleeps. Some nights you even walk with her around the castle.
— “This one will not live,” She blurts out randomly, interrupting you from one of your tangents, confusing you. She never interrupts you, always listens to whatever your qualms are for the day without complaint.
“What?”
You feel like you’re about to burst; partly from the grand lamb you had for your midday meal and from how heavy the babe in your belly feels. She seems surprised that the words had actually come out of her mouth.
She pushes her face closer to the fly she has somehow managed to capture in her palm, a perturbed glint in her eye. “I do not think this one will survive.”
You decide to indulge her, tilting your head to the side from where you sit across from her, lounging on a velvet sofa. “Why is that?”
“The art of the spider is subtle. It shall trap another in its web.”
(Later that day, you can only wonder if she was speaking of Lord Vaemond after he’d been beheaded by Prince Daemon from behind.)
Aemond
Aemond can barely remember the day you were born, much less the day a celebration had been held for Mother’s pregnancy.
Alike to his siblings, Aemond is not one to forget what you did for him when you were children; how you always offered to take him on rides on your dragon before he’d claimed Vhagar, how you were the only one uninvolved in the “pink dread” incident, how you cried for him after he lost his eye.
After the loss of his eye, Aemond begins to put a wall around himself. Unfortunately, that does include you. Before Driftmark, you were closest with him, but afterward, you had slowly drifted toward Aegon; nevertheless, he shows his affection for you in his own way.
However, he does keep the little gifts you’ve given him over the years safely hidden in his chambers, away from the eyes of curious maids and servants, like the eyepatch you’d embroidered a little Vhagar in in the weeks after his eye was cut out.
When Vaemond’s head is cut off, Aemond immediately places a hand on the pommel of his sword, lest Daemon himself attack you next. When he becomes regent, he is the one who orders you to be given a sworn protector. He is the one who’d help you learn Valyrian when you struggled, even after all your lessons.
Aemond never, never shows much affection to anyone in the family publicly, but he doesn’t mind it if you place a hand on his forearm or his own hand. He prefers it if you keep things like cheek or forehead kisses private in the sanctity of your or his own room.
In his immediate family, you are perhaps the most normal of all, which does make him seek out your company the most. The mornings after he seeks out Madame Sylvi’s assistance are the mornings he spends the most time with you. The shame of it all almost eats him alive, and you are a welcome distraction.
Additionally, the one-eyed prince does genuinely appreciate how you show your devotion to the family, though of course he’d never verbalize it. Almost every training yard session he has, you sit on the balcony, embroidering a dress or two while he swings his sword at Criston’s morningstar.
Your wedding to some old Crownlands lord was a memorable one, mostly because of when Aegon had pinned your new brother-by-law to a table and began beating him senselessly. Aemond was the one who had pried him off, mercilessly tugging him by the collar of his doublet away from the man.
You become pregnant quick. Aemond says that when your son is born, he will bring him to meet Vhagar himself, stating that a “new Targaryen babe should learn the ways of his predecessors”.
As the moons pass by, the Maesters order you to bedrest. Your elder brother likes to visit during his free time, sometimes bringing a book with him to read or nothing, just to converse with you quietly. You are the only “quiet” Aemond has ever known.
When Rhaenys bursts through the boards at Aegon’s coronation, Aemond’s palm finds your wrist, gently grasping it with his long fingers.
Just as your mother does, you begin to shun Aemond after Luke’s murder. It does not make him resent you as much as it does Alicent, but it does make him spiral a bit quicker.
Many a time have you slept in Aemond or Aegon’s bed because of nightmares. The only time he’s ever slept in yours was the night Aegon had found him in the brothel with Sylvi. You had not been awake when he’d crawled into bed with you, just laying beside you and shutting his eye. He makes sure to leave before you wake. Aemond does not know that you were quite aware of his presence, but had chosen not to say anything. If Aemond of all people had decided to find sleep in your bed, something awful must’ve happened. Why take that moment of respite from him?
He knows that you know he burned Aegon, but he does not ever bring it up in a conversation with you, much less acknowledge it. However, Aemond is observant. He notices the fearful glint in your eye when he is around you, now, but this is what he has always wanted, has he not? To rule?
— Aemond is with you the morn after Blood and Cheese, standing in one of the Red Keep’s balconies as you watch the wagon carrying your mother and Helaena depart. Your eyes are sunken in from crying, cheeks swollen; you wear a veil of mourning yourself, though there is no crown settled on your head. The way you lean over the railing to peer at the ground, the way your back is hunched, the way you grieve so openly.. it does not befit a princess. It does not befit someone from the Targaryen family, someone who is supposed to use honeyed words and cunning tricks to protect themself from the environment of King’s Landing.
You sniffle. “Where were you?”
Aemond’s eye goes wide. A deep pit was already settled in his stomach, but it only seems to get worse at your questioning. Even his throat seems to tighten up, make it impossible for him to even choke out an answer.
“When news of… the boy spread,” You begin, “I went to find you myself. But you were not in your chambers, nor in the library. Where were you?”
“Patrolling.” It’s an obvious lie. He regrets it the moment it comes out of his mouth, jaw clenching immediately. There was no use in patrolling at night, when he could barely see anything. His hand unconsciously squeezes the stone railing.
He’s ready to leave with haste when you nod to yourself, face blank and detached from reality. “…I won’t tell anyone,” You mutter, just loud enough for him to hear. “Wherever you were.”
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the-other-art-blog · 7 months ago
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Violet to Colin: "You're one of my most sensitive children."
The fandom: "How can she say that! Anthony, Benedict bla, bla bla..."
Colin is ONE of her most sensitive children. ONE, just ONE of them. And she's right.
ONE OF HER MOST SENSITIVE CHILDREN
He was the only one who indulged Violet and let her introduce him to debutantes in s1, while Anthony fucked his mistress and Ben went to orgies.
He was a complete gentleman with Marina. AND defended her when Anthony implied something about her.
And when he learned the truth, he confessed that he would have married her if she had told him the truth. 🥹
He danced with Pen after Cressida bullied her.
He wrote dozens of letters that his family of 8 could not care to respond to often. There are 8 of them!
He worried about Ben in s2 and supported him on his application to the Academy.
He learned the truth of Jack Featherington and instead of simply leaving, he did something about it. Not only did he help the Featherington family, but he saved other lords from being scammed.
He apologized to Will, explained why he acted rudely AND made amends to repair the damage by bringing men to Will's club.
He returned with gifts for everyone, but he seemed particularly thoughtful to his sisters and mother. A perfume for Hyacinth, music for Francesca, and a book for Eloise 🥹. Violet was so moved by his gift and here we have a lovely headcanon on the watch:
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Then with Pen...
He runs after Pen, despite other men wanting to know about his adventures.
He acknowledges his mistake and immediately tries to apologize to Pen in the Four Seasons Ball.
The next day, he comes back with a heartfelt apology.
Then, he offers her help, despite the risk of scandal and embarrassment for him. He knows Pen has no one else.
He goes to see Pen at night to make sure she's ok. And when she asks him for a kiss, he does it so sweetly.
He is brave enough to leave the men who just want to know about his sexual life.
HE WAS BRAVE ENOUGH TO ASK, as soon as he put himself together and understood his feelings. He didn't play jealousy games like others, he went and put his heart on the table. He didn't even know about Pen's feelings and he risked it!
Some extracts from Colin's journals show that his family is always in his thoughts.
You can see why Violet, as the good mother that she is, can tell how sensitive he is.
Colin travels during the summer and comes back during the season to be with his family. It angers me that people think he's selfish for this when Benedict also abandons the family to fuck.
And yet, both Colin and Ben are sensitive. BOTH OF THEM, Francesca too. I wouldn't call Hyacinth or Gregory sensitive right now, and before s3, I wouldn't include Eloise either.
Anyway, I needed to get this out because I am so fucking tired of Kanthonies and Benophies making tantrums about this line.
I'm sure when s4 comes, we are going to see a moment between Violet and Ben where she acknowledges how amazing he is and everything he has done for the family. But not now, because this is COLIN'S SEASON.
(NOTE: If you are thinking of reblogging this post with the tag #Colin is the most sensitive, kindly fuck off. I made this post to fight the Kanthonies and Benophie that are attacking Colin, not to validate your own need to make Colin superior to other characters. HE IS ONE OF THE MOST SENSITIVE CHILDREN, ONE)
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obguro · 5 months ago
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The Pretty Boy
A KNY x Male Reader —— !?
> Going back to Tanjiro’s trial, what if he had a brother?
> warnings; mentions of blood/stabbing, y/n is a cutie pie, hes also kagayas biggest fan, a tinkle of angst :3
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“Wake up! I said wake up!”
Tanjiro started to hear as he started to awaken. “Hey! Can you even hear me?!” A kakushi known as Goto, yelled as he started to get irritated with the boy laid on the ground. “Come on, get up! Are you going to sleep all day?!” Goto yelled once more. The burgundy haired boy jumped awake at the sound of the yells.
“I heard he was a demon slayer with a demon in tow, so I was expecting someone with more flair. Only for it to be just some ordinary-looking kid? Lame.”
“We must see that this boy is put on trial to be judged!”
“To think that he’s been protecting his siblings who has been turned into demons..What a brave and beautiful display of sibling love!!”
Tanjiro opened his mouth, preparing to speak before he felt his head being shoved into the rocks below him. “Don’t open your mouth until you’re told to do so! You are in the presence of the Hashira!”
Tanjiro opens his eyes to glance at the people who were introduced as The Hashira. “The Hashira.. What is that? Who are these people? Where am I?” Tanjiro’s mind raced with questions that were unanswered. Suddenly a lady with a butterfly hair piece started to speak. “This is the Demon Slayer headquarters. You’re here because you are to be put on trial. Before we start, why don’t you explain the crime you have been accused of-” The lady was then interrupted.
“There’s no need for a trial!”
Flame Hashira; Rengoku Kyojuro.
“Protecting not one, but two demons is a clear violation! We can deal with this on our own! We should end all three of them!” Rengoku stated in a loud tone, before another voice was heard.
“In that case, I’ll decapitate them with style!”
Sound Hashira; Uzui Tengen
“I’ll show you the most dramatic spray of blood you have ever seen!” Uzui stated before another voice was heard.
“No way! You’d really kill such an adorable child!”
Love Hashira; Kanroji Mitsuri
“Such a thought fills my heart with sorrow..” Mitsuri stated with a sad tone, before another voice was heard.
“Alas to see such a pitiful creature as this..”
Stone Hashira; Himejima Gyomei
“I grieve for him. Perhaps it would have been better if he hadn’t been born at all.” Gyomei stated as tears ran down his face, before another voice was heard.
“What was the shape of that cloud again?..”
Mist Hashira; Tokio Muichiro
“What was it called?.. I can’t remember.” Muichiro stated in a low tone while gazing up at the sky.
Tanjiro started to look around trying to spot the box which held his younger and older siblings. Goto noticed this and started to question him. “What are you looking at? Your focus should be on them. They’re the highest ranking swordsmen in the corps.” Tanjiro stared at the 6 people standing before him, before starting to look around again. “Nezuko! Y/N! Where did you take them?” Tanjiro asked out loud, sitting up from his position. He started to call out for his friends as well, before a voice from above was heard.
“Nevermind the boy, what will we do with Tomioka?”
Serpent Hashira; Obanai Iguro
“From what Kocho stated earlier, he is just as guilty for breaking the corps rules. Seeing him without restraints makes me feel ill. What do you have to say for yourself, Tomioka?” Obanai asked while pointed his finger at someone. He was met with silence.
“…”
Water Hashira; Tomioka Giyuu
As Giyuu stayed silent, another voice spoke up for him.
“I think it’s fine, he did come here without any resistance.”
Insect Hashira; Kocho Shinobu
“Let’s come up with a penalty later!” Shinobu stated cheerfully. “What I’m more interested in, is this boys story. He’s been traveling with demons, even as a demon slayer.. I want to hear why. What he did was unquestionably against corps rules!” She kept her gaze on Tanjiro, who then looked at her. Tanjiro let out a gasp of shock, not knowing this information. “Why are you traveling with demons despite being a demon slayer, Tanjiro Kamado? You can take your time, just answer the question.” Shinobu had asked in a confused tone, waiting for the boy to answer.
Tanjiro started to answer the question, only to realize he couldn’t due to the pain from his throat. Shinobu kneeled down in front of him a gourd of water, holding it out to him. “It looks like you need some water.” Tanjiro looked at it before grabbing it with his teeth and drinking it. “It seems you have injured your jaw so please be careful! I added an anesthetic to help with the pain.” Shinobu stated as he gulped down the water. Tanjiro finished the water in a few seconds, feeling some relief. Shinbou spoke up again, “Are you ready to tell us your story now?”
Y/N’s POV — Location: In The Box
As I woke up, I could hear some lady shouting at the person carrying the box Nezuko and I were in.
“Please Master Shinazugawa! I must ask you to put down that box!”
So his name is Shinazugawa?.. Pretty name.. I wonder where Tanjiro is..
I glanced at my younger sister, who was still asleep.
Nezuko.. You’re okay.. You had me worried when we were fighting that Lower Moon.. He was such a poor soul.. I hope he was able to meet his family in the afterlife.
I started to zone out, thinking back to the fight that occurred a while ago. I guess I got too distracted by my thoughts because the next thing I knew, I felt a sharp pain through my shoulder. I couldn’t help but let out a large muffled yelp from the sudden pain.
Glancing down, I noticed a green and black colored sword going through Nezuko’s and I’s shoulder. I looked at her with a worried expression basically asking, “are you alright?” She nodded a little bit, still wincing from the pain.
“Anyone who harms my siblings answers to me! I don’t give a fuck if you’re a hashira or not!”
Oh there you are Tanjiro.. I’m so glad you’re okay.
“Oh how very nice for you!” A deep voice says with a chuckle. The sword was then ripped out of the box completely. I let out a gasp as blood started to drip down my arm and chest, slowly regenerating.
“Cease this! The master will be arriving shortly!” Another voice shouted.
There was a loud sound before I could feel the box hitting the floor, accidentally hitting my head on the side of the box. I could hear a commotion from outside the box, consisting of multiple gasps and sweet sound of a giggle followed by a “pardon me.”
“If you can’t tell the difference between good demons and bad ones, then you shouldn’t be a hashira!” I heard Tanjiro yell from the box.
Tanjiro… I let out a smile. You’re still protecting us no matter what… You’re the best younger brother anyone could have.
“You little..I’ll destroy you!” The same deep voice that was holding the box earlier was heard. Before anything else could happen, a unfamiliar feminine voice spoke up, “The master of the mansion has returned.”
Master of the mansion? Where are we right now?..
A gentle, warming voice then spoke, “My beloved children, I thank you for coming here this day.” I could hear different pairs of feet walking, then the same voice spoke again, “Good morning to you all, the weather is strikingly nice today. Perhaps with a blue sky?”
His voice puts me at ease.. It’s so gentle and comforting.. I wonder who that is
“Finding ourselves here at the semiannual gathering with all the same faces, It brings me joy.” He spoke before the box was hit again. I then heard Shinazugawa speak up, “I’m pleased as well to see you in good health as well, master.”
I’m so sleepy.. Why am I so tired? It shouldn’t hurt to take a small nap… My thoughts faded as I started to doze off, falling into a dream.
Y/N’s POV — Location: In the Dream
I opened my eyes and looked around, noticing it was nothing but a black void. A voice spoke up behind me, “Y/N dear..”
I turned around to see a lady. A lady with black hair and purple eyes. My mother.
“Mother…” I let out in a soft tone. She smiled at me, holding her arms open. I knew what this meant. I would always give her hugs.
I then walked right into her arms, starting to tear up. Why wasn’t i the one who died?.. why couldn’t you be the one who lived?… She wrapped her arms around me, feeling the same as it used to. Warm. Comforting.
“My son, I am so proud of you. You protected your siblings.” She stated as she started to run her fingers through my (h/c) hair. “Please keep making me proud and continue to protect them..” I let of a nod against her shoulder.
“I promise I will.”
Y/N’S POV — Location: In the Box
I woke up from my dream immediately from the scent of blood.
Was someone hurt?
I open my eyes to see crimson blood dripping into the cracks of the box. I look over at Nezuko to see her starting to drool through her muzzle.
“Nezuko.. calm down.” I let out in soft whisper, hoping to calm her hunger.
“Hey demons! It’s time for your dinner!” I heard Shinazugawa shout from outside the box. Nezuko started to claw at the box and let out growls of hunger. “Don’t hold back. Show us your true colors.” Shinazugawa spoke again.
Another voice spoke up, this one unfamiliar. “It’s the daytime, no good doing this now. It will only show up in the shadows.”
I don’t like where this is going..
“Master, Please forgive me for the discourtesy I’m about to commit.” Shinazugawa spoke from the same spot. I could feel the box get lifted and slammed onto the ground once again. The same sword from earlier stabbed into the box again, going through the shoulder of Nezuko then out again.
I’m starting to get irritated.. He keeps injuring her… I look at Nezuko worried.
“Stop it!” I heard Tanjiro yell.
Suddenly, the door of the box was opened from the outside. Nezuko started to stand up, growing to her full size.
This is such a pain..
I look up from the box at who I assumed was Shinazugawa. White Hair. Violet Eyes. Scars Everywhere. I took in his appearance, not affected by his blood in the slightest.
I don’t have the desire to drink blood..but Nezuko can’t help it.. You got this, honey.
I heard Tanjiro yell out our younger sisters name. I look at Nezuko to see her stop struggling but had a lost look on her face. She stood there for a few seconds before turning away with a look of digust.
The comforting voice from earlier spoke up again, “Tell me what happened.” The unfamiliar feminine voice then explained.
“There it is, undeniable proof Nezuko won’t attack a human.” The soft voice explained to the other voices I heard prior to falling asleep I assume.
Nezuko looked down at me and I just let out a closed eyed smile at her. Then Shinazugawa spoke up, “What about you?! Huh?! You know you want it!” I look up at him to see him glaring down at me.
I guess it’s my turn.. I stood up, growing to my full size.
3rd Person POV
The other Hashiras shifted their focus to the other demon that started to come out of the box, taking in its appearance in shock. It was a male with (h/l) (h/c) hair tied up, (e/c) with slitted pupils, and he was dressed up in a black kimono. He was the definition of pretty. They noticed something different though, there was a gentle look in his eyes.
The (h/c) male looked at Shinazugawa, before reaching for his bamboo muzzle. The other hashiras reached for their swords just in case. They watched as the demon took the muzzle out of his mouth, letting it rest around his neck.
“Are you alright?.. You’re bleeding.” The males voice came out soft. Shinazugawa stared at the male in confusion and shock at the question. He then let out a growl of anger, “Why are you asking me that?! Why aren’t you affected by my blood?!” Y/N just simply smiled at him slightly before reaching into his kimono, pulling out a roll of gauze. “You shouldn’t injure yourself.” Y/N stated as he gently took the white haired males arm, starting to wrap the gauze around the open wound. Shinazugawa was too shocked to speak or move away from the male.
Y/N finished wrapping the olders arm, then he turned towards the others. The first thing he noticed was a man dressed in striped clothing was pinning down his younger brother to the floor with his elbow.
“Excuse me, the man with the snake.. Would you mind letting my brother go please? Neither Nezuko or I are not going to attack any of you.” Y/N asked in a soft tone to the other male.
Obanai scoffed and replied in a harsh tone, “No way, I’m not taking orders from a de-” He was interrupted by the tall male inside the house, known as Kagaya Ubuyashiki. “Obanai.. Please release the boy.” Obanai stared, wide eyed at his master but followed the orders given.
Y/N looked at the Master, noticing the sickness that was on his face. No matter, he still thought the male in front of him was gorgeous.
“Do tell me what happened with the other demon..” Kagaya spoke curiously. One of his daughters spoke up from next to her father, “The male demon smiled at Shinazugawa before wrapping his wounds for him, the blood seemingly not affecting him at all.”
“Well my children.. That proves that Y/N nor Nezuko will not harm humans.” Kagaya let out a soft smile towards his Hashiras. “I hope this will be accepted by all that these two demons will stay and work for the Demon Slayer corps. Tanjiro go out and defeat a Twelve Kizuki, do that and you’ll be accepted by all.”
Tanjiro sat up, looking at the master. “Alright! Me and my siblings will defeat Muzan Kibutsuji!” Y/N covered his face in embarrassment at his younger brothers bold claim, knowing well that they barely survived their last fight. “Let’s start with defeating a twelve kizuki first.” Kagaya said towards the boy with a slight chuckle.
The other hashiras let out some giggles as Tanjiro bows his head in embarrassment. “We have concluded our business with you, Tanjiro.” Kagaya stated. Shinobu then requested that the three siblings would stay at her estate, Kagaya agreeing.
Y/N walked over to the shared box, shrinking to fit in with his sister. Climbing in the box, Y/N shut the door behind him. The kakushi lifted the box, carrying it away towards The Butterfly Mansion, not before apologizing to the master for the intrusion.
Y/N held his sister close as he fell asleep with one thought in his mind.
“Everything will be okay, your big brother is here.”
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chastiefoul · 1 year ago
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giving them flowers ft. genshin characters
featuring: wriothesley, neuvilette, scara, xiao, kaveh tags: fluff random notes: wriothesley is my new obsession
wriothesley
“wrio,” you sang out as you took the last step of the stair leading up to his office, finding him at his usual spot; buried in paperwork with a cup of tea loyal on his desk. upon the sight of you, his face lit up a little. “now the guards just let you right in hm? well it’s no wonder, you’re quite the charmer after all,” he said, his tone playful. you approached him, rolling your eyes. “please, the moment the news spread that i am ‘involved’ with the duke no one was brave enough to mess with me.” wrio chuckled, not denying the fact, as he also did not forget to remind the guards that you have the freedom to do whatever you wanted within the premises.
wrio just hummed in approval, as you went and sit on his lap. “i noticed the pretty things on your hand there, who’s it for?” he asked as he put a hand around your waist, the gesture tickled you a little. “for you.” you smiled. “for me to give sigewinne? i’m pretty sure i’ve told you where she usually is,” he raised an eyebrow, the clueless expression was as clear as day. “silly, it’s for you. this flower is yours.”
he stared at the bouquet of aster flowers on your hand, taking it carefully. somehow for a moment his gaze seemed a bit distant, like seeing through a passing memory. “how lovely,” he smiled to himself, your heart squeezed a little. “indeed they are,” you said softly.
“and you, too.” the lingering gaze landed on you, his piercing icy-blue eyes that’s usually sharp was somehow warm and gentle. he continued, “the loveliest.”
--
“i was worried when i saw you with that flowers that i might have one of those things you often read and told me in your books, ‘love rival’ is that it?”
you laughed. “really? you, worried?”
“hmm well, i did say i could fight.”
neuvilette
“neuvi?” you called to him as you peeked your head from behind his office door. “(y/n)? such a pleasant surprise, what brings you here?” he smiled softly, leaving his desk to approach you. “i had sometime before work and i wanted to give you this.”
you revealed a bouquet of bluebells from your back.
neuvi’s eyes widened slightly at the object.
“do you like it?” you asked hesitantly after seeing his lack of reaction. neuvilette snapped out of it, noticing the restlessness on your feature as he said, “i love it, i will cherish it.” relief washed over you as you did not detect the sign of him lying about it as he gazed the bouquet with such tenderness. “although, to what do i owe the pleasure of receiving such nice gesture?”
“nothing at all, i happened to see it on the way here and seeing the petals just reminded me of you a little.” you said, keeping the true meaning of the flowers to yourself. “oh? how so?” neuvilette asked, genuinely curious but also enthusiastic over what you said. you quietly chuckled to yourself. “what more do you want me to say? obviously the flowers are so beautiful, very much like yourself.” you smiled teasingly, a little wide for it to be genuine.
the subtlest pink painted his cheek bone at your unexpected response. “only you would compliment me with such words, (y/n),” he shook his head in wonderment, his little smile betrayed his attempt in acting aloof. “you mean the only one that’s bold enough to say it directly to your face, if you refuse to believe it i could go right now and gather enough people to march in here to chant that the iudex of fountaine is so very beau-“
he coughed in bashfulness, the color on his cheeks became more apparent. “love.. it is also only you who’s so fond of teasing me. please perish that ridiculous idea from your head,” he said, his tone feeble and pleadful, something you knew he did only in front of you. you laughed lovingly at his reaction, “i’m sorry, i just couldn’t help it. but you truly are beautiful, neuvilette.”
“dear please.. no need for further flattery, you already have me.” he let out a sigh, shaking his head at your shameless flirting. “it’s not flattery, it’s the truth.  i am allowed to compliment my lover whenever i wanted, no?” you smiled. neuvilette once again sigh in defeat. “i suppose that’s alright, so long you let me do the same towards you.”
scara
“what is this..?” he stared at the sunflowers on his hand. “okay so when someone waters a seed and fertilize them-“
he scoffed, “you know what i meant.”
“it’s a gift.” you answered curtly, as if the whole thing doesn’t need a further explanation, and it really didn’t it’s just a certain grumpy gremlin demanded it. “did you do something wrong?” he eyed you suspiciously and you’d hit this man if he wasn’t so endearing. “god why are you saying it like i’m a bad person or something, you know what? i’m taking it back.” you said as you made no attempt of reaching out yet he shielded the flowers with his arms anyway.
“i never said i didn’t want it. also it’s mine now, have you no shame taking back what you’ve given?” he narrowed his eyes at you, and returned his attention to the object at hand.
“a ‘thank you’ still works just fine, you know?” you said, having a hard time holding back a grin by his hard attempt not to show that he liked the gift. his gaze rested on the flower for another minute, as if reminiscing something. “i just... no one really ever...” he said with a voice barely above a whisper; a moment of weakness where he sounded vulnerable.
“i’ll just have to give you many more of it then,” you smiled at him, for a second you swore he looked excited. “you don’t have to, i have no use of this.” he said, sounding like he didn’t mean a single word he said. you raised an eyebrow at him.
“although.. ᵗʰᵃⁿᵏ ʸᵒᵘ.”
xiao
“i didn’t bring your almond tofu today, but instead i wanted to give you this,” you said, handing him the iris flowers. “flowers..?” he tilted his head, wanting you to elaborate as to why you gave him that. what’s the occasion? where did you get them? why are you giving them to him?
“i just thought you’d like it, do you?” you smiled unsurely. “i.. don’t mind it however, such vibrant and lively things, it fits you more,” he said nonchalantly, as if what he just said didn’t make your heart do a backflip. “you’re looking at it the wrong way. even after surviving storms and rains, flowers stood tall proudly through it all—and that’s why i think it resembles you way more,” you said confidently.
xiao was quiet at your words, before letting out a rare soft smile. “if you feel that way so strongly, i have no choice but to believe it, then.”
kaveh
“for me!?” he asked excitedly at the bouquet of tulips. you nodded just as excited. “oh i love this so much, it would go so well on my desk after i put them on a vase,” he said, his eyes glistened with joy. “if i knew you’re going to be this excited i would’ve gotten them sooner.”
“no harm done my love, i am just beyond happy you thought of me.” he smiled, giving you a kiss on your cheek. “now, won’t you help me pick a container to put these flowers in?” he said, already taking your hand and leading you to his collection of things. “you say that but everytime we do this it’s always you picking different stuff up while you demand for my words of affirmation,”  you said, holding back a smile. “and?” kaveh raised an eyebrow, “and i love it, of course.” you laughed.
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strongheartneteyam · 1 year ago
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[ credits of the Neteyam pic go to cinetrix ]
Champagne Problems.
Pairing: Neteyam Sully x female!human!reader
CW: angsty, reader feeling her heart hurt, adeline being funny and shipping reader and neteyam, symptoms of PTSD (like a nightmare), sexual tension, confessions of love, angry neteyam, confused neteyam, yearning, crying, fluff, sexual content, neteyam loving reader's breasts, neteyam using his fangs on reader's body, p in v, territorial neteyam, needy and clingy neteyam, slight breeding kink, creampie
I almost cried writing this chapter and istg my pussy clenched hard while I was writing the smut part so… have a good read, I guess lol ps: I know I said I was gonna have a break from uploading my long fics (and I am!) but there was an itch in my hand to finish this story and I gave in and scratched it lol I kinda knew I eventually would. But I'm only gonna update the other fics next year. This one was an exception bc there was only one chapter left (this one lol)
Not proofread. I woke up in the middle of the night to write this, it's already morning outside and I'm sleepy and sick :(
Part 7: All I want is you
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It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you
You're a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town
And I just wanted you to know that this is me trying
this is me trying (Taylor Swift)
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In the morning, you woke up and realized you were no longer sitting on the floor, resting your back against the wall of Kiri's marui, but rather laying in your mat. You had a sharp headache but you didn't really know why. Maybe lack of enough sleep, maybe tension… Your eyes searched around for Neteyam but he was no longer there. You knew instantly that Neteyam had been the one to carry you to your mat. He was the only one awake other than you when you two were talking while it was eclipse and you knew it wasn't his nature to leave a girl sleeping while sitting down on the floor in a weird position and go home. No, he was too much of a gentleman for that.
The realization that you were about to go back to the lab in a few days and leave Neteyam behind again hit you like a train. The thought of being without him and having no guarantee that he wasn't gonna find a mate while you were gone and when you'd come back and see him again, he'd be happy with a beautiful na'vi girl by his side - perhaps even carrying his baby in her womb - broke you in a billion little pieces.
Your heart started to beat fast in your chest, like it was gonna escape from inside your body and come out through your throat. But there was also a big lump in your throat. Anxiety stinged your whole body like sharp, thin needles. 
You didn't want to lose Neteyam. Just imagining having to stare at a wall in your room at night, to see his sweet face in the crushing darkness and feel the tears rolling down your face, reminding you that you would never be able to hold him again, to feel his huge but gentle hands on your skin, to smell his comforting scent… and worse: to know he would be in some other girl's arms every night, letting her kiss him, having… God, having sex with her…
No. You couldn't let him go. It would rip your heart apart.
And if Neteyam didn't go for Munì like you thought he did, that meant that he didn't stop loving you… right? That's what you were desperately hoping for. You were almost sure you had seen him get slightly happy when you acted like an idiot and let him see how jealous you were of Munì last night. Maybe that meant he still felt something for you.
If you were right about Neteyam's feelings, you didn't quite know why he loved the mess of a girl that you were but… somehow he did, and he was sad because of you, because you refused to be his mate when that's all you truly wanted, in the first place. You had let fear hold you back once again. But not this time. You had to be brave. You had to at least try.
Putting the sheet that was once over you to the side, you uncovered your body and, in a rapid motion, you got up from your mat and got to your feet, feeling the slight coldness on the floor of the marui. Your feet walked slowly but surely among your two best human friends, trying hard not to step on or kick one of the girls as they were sleeping right next to your mat. 
You got startled by Adeline's voice echoing in the morning air as she whispered energetically to you.
"(y/n), where are you going?" Her voice was hoarse and slightly funny, because of slumber.
"I thought you were sleeping!" You whispered back as you looked at her sleepy and moody face while she laid down in her mat
"I was but I felt the need to pee and woke up. Answer my question, please!" She demanded
Your heart started beating fast and you spoke "I'm gonna try and make things right with Neteyam."
"Thank God." She dramatically grunted "I knew you liked him all along, I just wouldn't try and force you to mate with the guy, of course. But damn, I've known you since we were kids and I know when you're in love. I wanted to slap you when I saw you looking gloomy and I would ask you what was wrong and you would say that it was nothing but I just knew you were missing him and regretting refusing to be his mate. And Neteyam brought you back to your mat in his freaking arms! You can't let the guy go, you idiot! He loves you! Can't you see it? You both love each other! What was stopping you before from saying “Hey, I know I'm a bit crazy but I wanna be your mate!”?” She sighed, like she was tired of that whole situation
“How do you know Neteyam carried me back to my mat?” Surprise was all over your face
“I woke up at eclipse with your chatter, mamas.” She said nonchalantly 
“Oh…” You awkwardly spoke “So, you heard everything?” You cringed
“I heard a lot of it. Enough to know Neteyam is worth it. Now do what you gotta do. I gotta go relieve myself.” She demanded like a mother would
Your laughter echoed around. Adeline didn't realize how funny she was. You loved her. So, so much. That bitch was everything to you.
In only seconds you found yourself rushing out of the marui's door and your feet walking quickly through the warm Metkayina sand.
After a good while looking around and only seeing turquoise skinned tall Metkayina people, you finally found Neteyam. The sight of his broad, striped back did things to you. It made you remember how insanely good it felt when he was inside of you that rainy night on his hammock.
"Neteyam!" You yelled, sounding way more desperate than you had wanted to, and Neteyam rapidly turned around looked at you, his face covered with surprise
"I'm sorry! I do wanna be with you!" You spoke, breath a bit labored as you felt nervous and insecure about his reaction. The next thing you saw, you were breaking down in tears. 
"Why did you refuse me, then?" Neteyam asked,  slightly angry and utterly confused 
He did not understand why you had put you both through all that pain if you did love him too.
"I guess I was just afraid of finally having something beautiful in my life again, to feel safe again and then lose it. I couldn't bear to lose you. The truth is, I've had a crush on you since we first met too and I think I started to have deeper feelings for you at the party. Maybe we fell for each other at the same time" you chuckled wearily between tears, thinking that if it truly happened, it was beautiful and seemed like something out of a romantic movie
“Were you afraid that I was gonna leave you?” Neteyam asked, furrowing his hairless eyebrows 
“Yes…” You shamefully confirmed.
It seemed like you only ever thought the worst of Neteyam, even though he was known to be a good man and only proved you again and again how much he cared about you.
"Why would I ever leave you if I love you? It's as simple as that, tawtute." Neteyam stated
An amazed smile was born amidst your tears and your heart sped up as your brain processed those words.
"Are you saying you… love me?" It still seemed too good to be true.
"I'm saying I love you more than you will ever know, syulang." Neteyam walked closer to you and tried to touch your hand
You backed away slightly and he felt frustrated. Even as you declared your love for him you were still so guarded. Neteyam let out an impatient breath out of his feline nostrils.
“Tawtute, please, be my mate.” He asked you once again, his heart open to you once again.
“But what about tsaheylu? You can’t make it with me! What if you one day realize you regret missing out on this experience? It’s such an important thing to your people…” You let out a choked sob as you pronounced those words that felt like a stab in the heart
“Not again with the excuses…” Neteyam thought
“Listen” Neteyam asked for your attention “I do not care if you don’t have tendrils and we can’t make tsaheylu. What’s even the point of tsaheylu if I can’t make it with the girl I love? Tsaheylu is about sharing your affection, your devotion, your need with your mate and I don’t need or want anyone else but you, tawtute.”
You kept sobbing and just couldn't seem to stop.
Neteyam grabbed you and held you inside his strong, long arms, one of his hands on the back of your head, pressing it against his body and the other on your shoulder. His warm embrace felt reassuring.
"It's okay, oeyä tawtute. You are safe with me."
After a while holding you like that, he gently pushed you away from him and held your chin up so you could look at his face.
"I won't ever leave you. I promise you, with the Great Mother as my witness, I will never ever let you go. I'm yours forever. I have been yours for so long…" He gave you a calm smile and wiped your tears away
Your gleaming eyes gazed up at his face. He was so beautiful, his dark blue stripes forming intricate pattern on his forehead, a pattern unique to his body. His bioluminescent freckles adorned his big face and shone slightly even in the light of day. You were so damn lucky to have such a beautiful man be so deeply in love with you.
“So, what's it gonna be?” Neteyam's big thumb caressed your reddened face as his lips were curled in a gentle smile, showing no teeth “Can I finally get an “yes” from your beautiful lips?”
You chuckled and smiled big.
“Yes.” Neteyam's heart swelled with affection and relief “Yes, I'm gonna be your mate, Neteyam.”
“Nga yawne lu oer, oeyä tawtute.” (I love you, my human) Neteyam grabbed your face that was tiny inside his two big hands and kissed you eagerly, his lips pressing against yours like he had been needing that for so long.
Neteyam had been dreaming awake every night about how it would feel if he ever got to kiss your small mouth again. His tongue touched the slit of your mouth, deliciously warm and wet and you parted your lips so he could explore the insides of your mouth. Neteyam's large tongue licked your tongue and you moaned in delight at the sensation. You had missed his kisses so damn much… Neteyam tasted your mouth like you were the sweetest berry juice in the whole Universe.
“I missed your lips and your tongue, syulang. I was craving you.”  Neteyam said and softly placed a last peck in your lips 
“I missed you too. A lot.” You smiled at him, still tasting him on your tongue "I love you too." Neteyam smiled at you when hearing those words he was dying to hear for so long.
“Come, have lunch with me, oeyä hì'i muntxate.” (my small mate)
You agreed and Neteyam took your hand inside his much bigger one, taking you to the place where the na'vi were handling food to each other.
Many curious blue eyes looked at the both of you as Neteyam possessively held you by your waist and talked to you gently.
“I'm gonna get some fish and herbs for us, okay?” He smiled happily at you, like he either didn't notice or didn't care about how all the Metkayina at that part of the reef seemed to be watching yours and Neteyam's every move.
Quickly he grabbed the fish and took you to some rocks away from everyone else, what made you let out a relieved silent breath.
You two ate your fish, that had been prepared on a bonfire - it tasted delicious, by the way. Slightly spicy but also with fresh notes of something that reminded you of peppermint. Alien food was better than you had ever anticipated while you prepared on Earth to travel to Pandora.
"By the way, I'm sorry about your arm. I bet it hurt a lot…" You brought it up, after swallowing a mouthful of fish
"Not that much. I'm strong." He played around but Neteyam truly wanted you to see him as a strong na'vi male. He knew it was boyish but he did it anyway.
He won a quick joyful chuckle from you.
"I was gonna tell you that yesterday but I guess I got too nervous and then too emotional and I ended up forgetting to. I'm sorry, I think I tend to seem self-centered sometimes…" You spoke
"Don't worry about it. You do seem aloof and a little self-centered" You scoffed in a joking manner at his bluntness but you actually said “Ouch!” on the inside.
Damn, Neteyam truly knew how to humble someone...
“But I know that's not who you really are. People just have to take enough time to get to know you and they'll see what I see." 
"And what do you see?" Your eyes shone with wonder and your voice was playful 
"I see a smart, strong, sensitive and amazingly beautiful girl."
Your cheeks turned red. You weren't expecting so much praise.
“Ok, stop… I'm not all that.” You awkwardly stated, avoiding his gaze
“Of course you are. I don't know why you can't see it, tawtute.”
Maybe because you hadn't heard that a lot throughout your life…
To be fair, you had been called beautiful and smart many times but not the other two. Kate and Adeline would tell you that you were strong when you needed to hear it but you always wondered if they perhaps just said that because they were your closest, best friends and they only wanted to make you feel better.
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After lunch, Neteyam sneaked out with you and took you to a private place on the beach where his hammock was hanging, somewhere more secluded, where the both of you could be alone. You knew just what he wanted and you could not lie and say that you were not craving the exact same thing.
Neteyam took you in his arms, winning a squeaky laugh from you as he lift you off your feet. 
Neteyam sat you on his big hammock, your legs hanging in the air and not touching the clear sand. He knelt in front of you and before you knew it, he was kissing you. Neteyam eagerly took your lower lip between his soft, full lips, suckling on it ever so slightly and then pressing his mouth against yours. Neteyam's huge blue hands cupped both your breasts over your white cropped top and you whimpered in pleasure.
"Oeyä tawtute…" he cried out "Let me see these titties" his mouth hanged slightly open with anticipation and desire
Once you let him take your bra off, Neteyam groaned in an animalistic, primal way.
"These perfect soft titties are mine now, oeyä muntxate. Only mine."
"Yours, Neteyam." You breathed, so taken by him and the moment. Your panties were slick with your juices, so much he turned you on.
Neteyam laid you down gently but eagerly on his hammock. He wasted no time and quickly brought his lips to your breasts. He had been dreaming of that ever since the first time he saw your breasts jiggle under your shirt when you were walking fast, troubled with your scientist work. Your boobs were just so different from the na'vi females ones and it made Neteyam daydream about how it would feel to have your small buds inside his mouth.
Neteyam sucked on your nipples like he was hungry and desperate to taste your skin. He licked your sensitive buds swiftly, leaving them hard and wet with his saliva. All you could do was look down at his mesmerizing blue face, staring at his bioluminescent little freckles and moan loud. You started to worry if people could hear but you decided it was not important if they did or not and you just did not care. That intimate, raw moment you were having with your Neteyam was much more important than anything else in the Universe.
He started using his fangs to tease your breasts slowly and you whimpered at the sting but also enjoyed the bittersweet pleasure it gave you. 
“If you want me to stop, just say it, oeyä tawtute.”
“No. Keep doing it, please” You asked
Neteyam bit your right breast harder this time and you moaned loud again. The acute feeling of his sharp fangs harassing your sensitive skin made you feel an incredible sensation that lied somewhere between discomfort and delight but that ended up just being incredibly addictive. Your folds were even more soaked by now.
“Neteyam, please, fuck me, baby” you begged “I need you.”
“Fuck, muntxate, you're so needy for me. It's so hot, yawne…” Neteyam's heavy breath collided with your skin, sending shivers all over your body
Neteyam undressed you quickly and took his loincloth off just as rapidly, his cock hard and proud, slightly curved to the side.
Neteyam took his cock in his hand and rubbed his swollen tip on your glistening clit, making your body tremble.
“Neteyam… please.” You protested
“Say you want it.” He looked into your eyes, his big golden irises shining with the sight of you in front of him, his mouth in a teasing smirk. His accent drove you insane.
“Please, fuck me…” Your face showed him how desperate you were to feel him
“Do you want me to fill you up with my cock, tawtute?” He dig for more
“Yes, Neteyam, I need your big cock inside of my pussy, please, please…” It's like you couldn't take it anymore. Your cunt felt so empty without him.
After hearing those enticing words, Neteyam swiftly placed his large blue cock at your soaked entrance and pushed it all in at once, making you moan loudly in sheer, raw pleasure. 
"Eywa, how I missed this pussy! Your ekxìn pussy feels so fucking good, my little tanhì." (star) Neteyam murmured as he thrusted hungrily into you, his big, girthy cock stretching your insides and filling you up completely.
Neteyam's feelings for you were just so strong that he felt like no words would ever be enough to express his emotions so, he was trying to show you how he felt about you by loving your body instead, pouring out all his yearning for you through his kisses, his desperate caresses, his thrusts…
"Tawtute" Neteyam cried out as he thrusted roughly into you "Oeyä muntxate." (my mate) "Mine. All mine, yawntu…" (loved one) He whimpered in your ear, melancholic and driven wild by his desire and ardent affection for you "Nga yawne lu oer." (I love you) "So, so much."
Neteyam's breath was heavy and irregular as he pounded himself into you as hard as he could. He needed you so much, he felt like he would die if he could not have all of you, if he could not claim you once and for all. It was so good that he didn't last long and came inside of you, his thick warm seed shooting strongly towards your womb. He hoped to breed you but he didn't know you were taking birth control pills. Neteyam's load of cum was so big that it leaked out of your cunt even as he was still inside of you. That was so dirty and sexy that your pussy clenched around his cock as you felt his warm liquid leaking out of your stretched entrance.
After cuddling for a while, when you were looking to find your bra that Neteyam had thrown somewhere in the sand, he looked at your breasts, the two of them full of his bite marks and a big beautiful smile adorned his full lips, followed by a joyful chuckle.
“I marked you well, syulang. Now everybody can see that you're mine. Oeyä muntxate. Mine forever.” He leaned in for a kiss, pressing his soft lips on yours, so needy. Neteyam tasted so sweet but so unique at the same time. He tasted like himself. Nothing else could compare.
You chuckled. “You're so pervy.”
“But you love it.” He smiled at you, his sharp fangs more charming than ever
“Hey! Just because I'm your mate now it doesn't mean you get to be all cocky again.” You teased, pretending to be angry, as you pushed his arm away with your hand
Neteyam only smiled wider. He was over the moon that you were now finally his. All his. Until the end of time.
Neteyam yawned, body still in full bliss because of the powerful orgasm you had given him.
“I'm sleepy, oeyä tawtute. Take a nap with me.” He was already grabbing you in his big striped arms and laying you back on the hammock with him.
“You're not giving me a choice, anyway.” You chuckled and yawned too.
Soon your tired eyes fell shut, as you felt his warm breath on your skin.
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In the middle of the afternoon, you woke up crying, desperately breathing gasping for air. Neteyam woke up startled with your panicking state. Another nightmare... One of those that left your heart aching and your mind confused for long after you woke up, wondering if it had been reality or not.
“What's wrong, yawntu?” (loved one) 
When you realized Neteyam was by your side, still holding you against his warm body, you felt relieved but only seemed to cry more. You buried your head on his soft chest and he just let you cry there, petting your head softly with his hand, his slender fingers running through your locks of hair every now and then, trying to comfort you.
Eventually you stopped crying, sniffing one last time. You placed a kiss on Neteyam's chest, your lips lingering on his skin for longer than they normally would, as if to try and make sure that he was really there with you, that he was real and was not going away.
“Wanna tell me what happened now, oeyä muntxate?” (my mate)
You looked up at his face, eyes reddish.
“I had a terrible nightmare…” just the reminder made your heart ache again “I dreamt you left me. You got tired of me and found a better mate.”
“Tawtute… that's never gonna happen.”
“You promise?” You needed to hear him promise…
“I promise.” He tried to kiss you but you backed away a bit 
“What if your parents don't approve of us? Will you leave me then?” You hated how clingy and annoying you were sounding 
Neteyam started thinking that he would have to have an endless amount of patience with you. Your fear controlled you way too often. He would have to teach you how to be a little more free. But he would do it gladly.
"Listen, yawntutsyìp" (little loved one) Neteyam held your small face inside of both his huge blue hands "We will fight whatever we have to, whatever comes our way, and we will stay together forever, okay? I'm not letting anything separate me from you. Nothing, you hear me? Nothing." He promised you.
You breathed in and decided you had to try and believe him, otherwise you would end up sabotaging your relationship with Neteyam, you would end up contributing to what you feared the most: him leaving you. What you did not know was that there was actually nothing you could do to drive Neteyam away. He had been chasing you for way too long, he had fought for you like he had fought in the war against the Sky People. Neteyam was too much of a good warrior and too proud to let you go after all that. And damn, he could not imagine a life without you. Not a life where he would be happy and fulfilled, at least. He needed you to see the morning air as fresh, to hear the song of the birds as lively, to see the light of the stars as a guide.
“Okay. I trust you, Neteyam.” You stated, utterly sure of your words this time.
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♡ Epilogue ♡
You felt safe for the first time in so long while Neteyam held you inside his big arms, his body heat spreading all over you. It felt so cozy and just so… right. Like you had finally found what you needed, what you were unconsciously looking for all along.
Safety, trust, shelter… love.
Funny how sometimes when we need love the most is when we push it away the most, hurt the people who are trying to give it to us the most because we're so terrified to get hurt again, to finally trust and be let down again that we would rather keep drowning in our pain and in our loneliness. Pain can feel comfortable, as crazy as it sounds.
Turn a curse into a kiss
You could have never seen it coming, you could have never imagined back on your Earth days that your safe place to fall would be in the arms of an alien in an exoplanet, outside of your home solar system. What a weird happy ending. But it doesn't matter. There's still much more to come. This isn't the end, it's just the beginning.
𓇼
Change the meaning of your world
Love makes no sense, love has no name
Love drowns you in tears and it sets your heart on fire
Love has no fear, love has no reason
So infinitely vast and we're standing at the edge
Take my hand, erase the past forever
Love Exists (Amy Lee)
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This is the end, guys 🥲🤍 Feels so good to give Teyam and Reader a beautiful happy ending. Thank you all so much for reading my story 💕
Taglist:
@iman-lu
@leaveitbythewave
@creepytoes88
@live-laugh-neteyam
@swaggygurlbae
@neteluvr
@layla2-49
@a-blog-name-2003
@lala-1516
@jakesullyfatjuicypeen
@yeosxxx
@iaratezaewa
@somekindofastupidjoke
@fadedpetal
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comicaurora · 6 months ago
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I'm not a writer whatsoever and am currently listening to the OSPod Publishing special, and was really intruiged by your description of your character-driven stories as being similar to a DnD campaign. Could you please elaborate a bit on what you mean by "it's good when the characters surprise you"? It's likely an obvious writer thing, but I would've thought that an author wouldn't be surprised by where their story or characters go since, well, they're the one writing it. Regardless the comic is amazing so however confusing your process may be to me personally it's clearly effective
It's a little bit difficult to explain!
A lot of the writing process is just sitting down and writing it - laying out the setpieces, describing what the characters do, writing and tweaking the dialogue for impact. But in my experience, the vast majority of the REAL writing process happens internally, and large chunks of it are out of conscious reach of the writer. This unreachable space is where new ideas form, and why no writer has ever been able to answer the question "where do you get your ideas from?"
This is why a writer can beat their head against writers block for weeks at a time, then wake up one day with a solution and the entire next chunk of storyline fully formed. My dad calls this phenomenon "the better writer in the back of your head." A lot of the creative process doesn't happen in the front of your mind, where your ego and your inner voice live. Most of it is deeper down. This is how your mind is capable of surprising you in any context, including dreams or unexpected emotional reactions - your mind is a lot larger than just the parts you can consciously feel.
When I put a character in a situation, I can make a conscious decision for what they'll do and then execute it, but I can also listen for ideas bubbling out of that inaccessible region of my mind. Most character ideas start out as a small set of conscious decisions on the part of the writer - "I'll make him a classical hero with a strong sense of justice" or "she'll be a strong but weary leader putting on a brave face" or "I'm playing an edgy rogue with a dark past" etc etc, quick and basic elevator pitches. But the characters come alive when they're allowed to grow down into the inaccessible parts of the mind, where consciousness gives way to emotions bubbling up from even deeper processes. Once the characters are allowed to start feeling things about their story - like "maybe that classical hero doesn't actually feel great about the lord they serve" or "the weary leader has an endless wellspring of vengeful rage to keep her going when she falters," more creative ideas for their next move start bubbling up. Things that don't flow logically from their elevator pitch, but make sense for the character that grows out of that pitch as they're allowed to engage with the world and story around them.
The way I build characters puts a focus on how they're feeling in any given situation, which is completely separate from what I, the writer of the plot, need them to do to move the plot in the direction I was planning. So sometimes I'll be writing something, and a little bubble of inspiration will pop up and let me know that, unexpectedly, this situation is really getting to one of the characters. And I can choose to keep them on track, or I can let their internal compass take over and see what makes the most sense to them at that moment of the story.
Characters are not real people, and they aren't as large or complex as a human mind, but in my experience, if you build a character solidly enough and give yourself room to play, they will grow down into your subconscious wellspring of creativity, and your mind will volunteer ideas to you using their voice. You don't need to use them, but it's very useful to cultivate them, because sometimes those ideas are better than anything you could consciously stick together in the public-spacing front of your mind.
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deeplyshalllow · 15 days ago
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An In Depth Study of Fiyero and Elphaba's interactions in the Dancing Through Life/Ozdust Scene in Wicked the Movie
As a follow on from the post I made the other day analysing the Fiyeraba movie meeting scene, I wanted to do an analysis on the movie’s take on the other Fiyero and Elphaba interactions.
I am writing an analysis of the Lion Cub scene too, but it’s over 1000 words and they’re still only on their bikes. So I thought I’d split this up and post the DTL/Ozdust Fiyeraba analysis. It’s a small one, give Fiyero and Elphaba don’t speak to each other during this scene, but there’s some interesting things to note.
The moment where Fiyero waves at Elphaba, while Elphaba rolls her eyes at him is a good way to confirm both of their feelings about each other in this moment. Fiyero has no hard feelings about Elphaba from the day before (and he’s certainly not taken his cue from how the rest of the student body treats her). If anything, she’s interested him and it’s made him more determined to befriend her and prove he’s got nothing against her. Elphaba, however, still thinks he’s like everyone else and is mocking her for her skin, and him playing up the dumb playboy act even louder, now he has an audience, is not helping at all, and she leaves mid scene. While we see Elphaba’s views of Fiyero at this stage in the musical with this line “It's absurd! This silly, rich boy appears and everyone's off to worship him at some cultish social gathering!” getting Fiyero’s feelings for Elphaba here is new and is a nice addition to his character.
The second important moment is Fiyero’s line in the Ozdust about Elphaba, “Well I���ll say this much, she doesn’t give a twig what anyone thinks.” It is a line taken directly from the musical but it hits slightly differently here. In the musical this line is said because Fiyero cares so much about what everyone else thinks that he rewrites his entire personality and he envies Elphaba for apparently not doing the same. The thing is, with the meeting scene in the movie where Fiyero calls out Elphaba’s defensiveness, we know that Fiyero has already sussed out Elphaba uses aggression as a defence mechanism, he knows she cares what other people think and puts on an act too – so instead this line can be read as Fiyero going “I’m impressed she’s brave enough to do what she wants despite knowing people will judge her for it” which has a nice link to him admiring what she does in Defying Gravity at the beginning of Act 2, “You know who could [resist being popular for doing what is right]. Who has.” As well as foreshadowing his act 2 character development when he too gives up the love of the people to do what is right.
We also get a few shots of Fiyero dancing along enthusiastically and looking admiringly at Galinda and Elphaba together through the Gelphie dance scene. It’s actually toned down from in the musical where he’s the first to go over and talk to Elphaba and Galinda when everyone starts joining in, (which I get – he doesn’t really need to be in this important Gelphie moment), but I think what it does imply is finally a change in Elphaba’s attitude towards him. She’s given Galinda a second chance, Galinda joining in has allowed her to let her guard down and Fiyero, as always is nothing but supportive of her. It’s very easy from this scene to see that, logically, Elphaba will be happy to start afresh with her perception of Fiyero too.
Analysis of Fiyeraba interactions in the Lion Cub Scene in the movie
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trans-axolotl · 6 months ago
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"One of the things about being born with genitals that challenge what is considered normal, is that no one ever tells you that there is anyone like you. You feel completely and utterly alone. Even today, young children are never put in touch with others who are going through the same thing. You are purposely isolated, your difference covered up — and it is horrible.
One day, I met with my writing teacher at her house. Next to my place at the table was a newsletter. Hermaphrodites with Attitude was written across the top. Upon seeing that word, which still had the power to terrify me, written so bold, so proud, I became suddenly unable to speak, even to breathe. Reading the text, I found my story in other people’s words. People I did not even know existed. It was as if my whole life had been lived to reach just this one moment. I took the newsletter home, and for days and days would pick it up in disbelief and hold it to my chest like a talisman.
And so it started, the strength that comes from finding those like you. The words that used to frighten me, make my skin crawl, like gender and hermaphrodite, roll off my tongue easier now. They are beginning to belong to me. I will never find the words of my six-year old self, and that is fitting. Today I have the reasoned and educated voice of a grown woman who knows harm when she sees it and is increasingly growing strong enough to name it and try to stop it. Saying this does not mean I am always brave, because I’m not. Speaking out as an intersexual, as a hermaphrodite, I go forward, but I also still retreat to protect myself. At one moment I may tell a friend my story, talk knowledgeably about it on the phone with a stranger. But then the subject comes up in a room full of people, and I speak in generalities, as if it were something that happens to other people. And I feel that silence between my legs, the place that sets me and my past apart from most other women. But I’m kind to myself when I can’t quite tell the whole truth, as all intersexuals should be. We have lifetimes of shame to overcome and, for most of us, this has been a secret that we have guarded with our lives and at great expense. Coming out as a hermaphrodite has its own precious timing. You can’t peel the chrysalis off a butterfly and expect it to survive any more than we can speak out, or even face our own truth, before we are ready.
If you are intersexed, listen to your heart — slowly you will emerge. It takes commitment and courage, it is frightening, but not nearly as frightening as that monster you created all those years out of your own sweet body. As you tell your story, and tell it again and again, a sort of transformation takes place. You start to speak for all intersex people who have ever lived and are yet to be born. Your intensely personal story drops into the background, and what comes forward is your story as myth, as a kind of transcendent truth. Try to love yourself enough to free your hermaphroditic voice, so we can all claim our lives, and the bodies we deserve to celebrate."
-Finding the Words, Martha Coventry, Chrysalis #12, 1998.
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nurse-floyd · 7 months ago
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Broken Promises
Anon request: "Max x Leclerc reader . In which its readers bday and it’s her bday party and charles doesn’t show up for the 3rd year after like promising he would for sure show up and she doesn’t like even want a bday anymore. I swear i don’t hate charles LOL."
Summary: It’s your birthday, and once again, your brother Charles has fails to show up despite his promise.
Max Verstappen x Leclerc!reader
Warnings: none. Poor use of Google Translate for language.
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You’d planned everything perfectly and exactly how you’d wanted. The decorations were perfect, and you had streamers, balloons, and fairy lights hung around your spacious living room. Max had helped, getting caterers in and the best birthday cake you could ask for.
However, your excitement quickly turned to disappointment as your phone lit up with a text from your older brother, Charles.
Charlie: Sœurette… I’m sorry, I cannot make the party. I promise I’ll make it up to you.
You threw the phone down angrily on the counter, not caring if the screen was broken or not. You cursed a few words in French as you let out your frustration.
“Tête de bite! Stupide imbécile!” you screamed.
Max came running as he heard the loud bang followed by your shouting.
“He promised, Max! He said he’d be here. He missed my last two fucking birthdays!”
Max stood there, letting you let out your anger but also feeling his own anger bubbling inside. Charles had promised; he was there when you were excitedly bouncing as you told Charles about the music, the decorations, and the food—how excited you were to celebrate with your whole family again when no one had races or interviews or promotions to film.
“I know, schatje… I’m sorry,” he comforted as he pulled you into his arms. He knew how excited you’d been and how much it meant for all your older brothers to be there.
You pulled away and wiped your tears as you tried to put on a brave face, tried to push through your emotions and finish setting up the place for your guests. Arthur and Lorenzo were still coming, and you just wanted Charles to be there for once. He’d missed the last two years, and he’d promised he’d be there this time.
As your guests arrived, you kissed their cheeks, hugged them, and took pictures, but your heart just wasn’t in it. The party was in full swing with music, food, and enjoyment, but you felt like an outsider in your own house. You watched as everyone else danced, laughed, and had fun, but you just couldn’t feel that joy yourself. You knew it was stupid, but you sat in the corner and watched the door, hoping it was just a joke your brothers were playing on you, hoping with everything that he’d walk through the door with that goofy smile and pull you into one of his hugs that you loved so much. But the door stayed closed, and your brother never came.
Max mingled with your guests and his friends, but he saw the way your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes, how withdrawn you were, and how you kept checking your phone for any updates from your brother. He came to your side and took the seat next to yours, putting his arm around you as he pulled you into his side. “Are you okay?”
You sighed, determined not to let the tears that had been threatening to spill over fall. “I just don’t get it, Max. Why does he keep making promises he can’t keep? He hasn’t come to my last three birthdays now. Do I not matter to him?”
Max’s grip tightened around you. “I’m sorry, liefde. I know it hurts, but your birthday does matter, and so do you. You matter to me and to all the people here tonight.”
You buried your face in his shoulder as the tears you’d tried to keep in all night started to fall. “I don’t even want a birthday anymore. It hurts too much.”
Max gently shifted, lifting your chin slightly so he could look at you. “Don’t say that. Today is your day, and I’m going to make it special. Your brother might not be here, but I am, and so are your friends. Let’s not let him ruin another birthday, hmm?”
You nodded, knowing he was right and so grateful for the support. You sniffed and wiped away your tears. “Okay… but I don’t feel like being around everyone right now. Can we go for a walk? Get some fresh air?”
Max smiled and got up, holding his hand out for you. “Sure. Let’s go.”
You sent a text to Arthur to come up with an excuse in case anyone noticed you and Max were gone before you both managed to quietly slip out of the house. The cool air of the evening was a welcome relief from the crowded apartment. You and Max walked in a comforting silence, your hand in his as the lights of the city twinkled around you.
Max led you to a little bench on the beachfront and sat down, gesturing for you to join him. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you in close once more. You closed your eyes, just enjoying the moment with you and him alone.
“You know, I hated my birthday too when I was younger. There was so much pressure to make it the perfect day, and it never was, and my dad wasn’t exactly parent of the year when it came to birthdays; he missed more than I can count.”
“You shouldn’t have had to go through that, Max,” you leaned in closer to him.
“Now I’m older, all that matters is I get to celebrate another year of life and I’ve got you by my side.”
“You’re right. It’s just hard when someone you love lets you down.”
“I know,” Max replied as he pressed a kiss to your temple, “but you’re not alone. You’ve got me, and I’m not going anywhere; no more broken promises.”
A smile tugged at your lips. “Thanks, Max, for everything. Sorry I ruined the party.”
“Shut up,” he grinned playfully. “You’ve not ruined anything. Besides, you saved me from your brothers. Anyway, I didn’t get to give you your present yet.”
You leaned away from him, your curiosity piqued. “What present?”
He reached into the pocket of the Red Bull jacket he’d thrown on before he left and pulled out a sleek black box, beautifully wrapped with a silver bow. “Happy birthday, schat.”
You took the box and carefully unwrapped it to reveal a rose gold necklace with four pendants, each with a letter on it: an M, J, S, and your initial.
“Now you can always carry us with you. You’ll always have me, Jimmy, and Sassy, and there’s room to add more,” he explained.
“It’s beautiful. Thank you,” you whispered, your voice laced with emotion.
You turned around and let him fasten it around your neck before turning back and leaning in to kiss him. “Thank you, love, for making today special despite everything.”
“Anything for you, schatje. Happy birthday.”
Although you knew you couldn’t get over your disappointment with Charles that easily, sitting there with Max, you knew that it didn’t matter who wasn’t there but who was, and with Max by your side, you’d be okay.
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dilemmaontwolegs · 9 months ago
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Hi, how are you? Hope everything's peachy. I've been waiting for your requests to be open since probably December. I figured, maybe I could leave you my thoughts and you'll decide what to do with them. Is that fine? 😅 You can throw it straight to the trash if you'd like.
So that now every F1 Team have a girl driver in F1 Academy, I thought maybe they want to promote the Academy more and includes it in DTS series. So the reader is a driver for Ferrari. They assign her to Carlos and they've to film a Training camp before the season. Carlos sort of being her PT. Plot twist: they HATE each other. But their combined fury can easily catch on fire and lead them to other type of sport, more sensual one. So it's like enemies but/to lovers sort of thing. A lot of arguing, angst but also a bunch of steamy sex
The Uphill Battle || CS55
Warnings: Smut, angst, name calling WC: 1.8k
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Pre-season Training - Dolomites This had to be the worst PR disaster in the making. Whoever thought it would be a great idea to pair you up with Jr Sainz needed to fall right off this mountainside. To make matters worse, they had a TV crew following you around all day and you were fairly sure your suite was bugged like Big Brother.
“Hurry up, I want to make it back in time for dinner,” Carlos growled as he stopped to look back at you. 
You narrowed your eyes, not that he could see them beneath the snow goggles, and sarcastically replied, “Oh no, baby boy can’t go to bed without his supper.”
He stabbed his sticks into the snow and pulled his googles up over his beanie. “You think I want to be out here babysitting a spoiled little brat? I am crawling just so you don’t get left behind and lost up here. Pick. Up. The. Pace.”
“Fuck you,” you spat as you pushed harder, your calves protesting the hardship you were putting them through to prove a point. You overtook the Spaniard and made sure to only just miss his foot from the piercing pike on your ski stick. “Keep up, Junior.”
You were both panting by the time you arrived back at the luxury accommodation in the resort town at the base of the mountain. You were starving but you were also damp with sweat beneath the layers of cashmere and feather-stuffed coats so you went straight to the private pool. You figured after the whining Carlos had done about his dinner you wouldn’t be disturbed in the heated outdoor pool, but you were wrong.
Carlos curled a brow at the trail of clothes that led from the twin penthouse suites to the rooftop pool they shared, each layer getting thinner until it ended with a sports bra and panties. Snow littered the ground and he shivered in his bathrobe as he watched you float on the surface of the steaming water with your eyes closed. You looked relaxed, peaceful. It was a look he rarely saw on your face and it immediately washed away when you opened your eyes and caught him watching.
“Dirty perv,” you hissed as you slipped back beneath the water up to your neck and covered your breasts. 
“I’m not the one going for a skinny dip. You’re just looking for attention.”
“I don’t have to look for attention, it comes looking for me,” you said as you eyed up the goosebumps on his legs below the robe. “I figured you were too busy stuffing your face.”
“The Netflix crew were in the dining hall,” he admitted quietly.
“Ah, so you are not nearly as comfortable in front of them as you act. Could have fooled me.”
“I don’t think that would be hard.”
“I hope your balls get frostbite.”
Carlos winced at the idea and took a step closer to the water's edge and the warmth it promised. 
“If you get in here with me we are going to have a problem,” you warned, swimming closer to defend your territory. “There’s no cameras around to keep you safe.”
Carlo snickered and dipped his foot in. “I’ve seen your training in the ring, I think I can handle it.”
“Brave words when you are all the way over there.”
Your blood could have heated the water to boiling point as he slipped his robe off and tossed it over the rail before taking another step in, then another. You watched the water disappear over his skin tight trunks and darken the happy trail before rising over his abs. The team at Ferrari at least assigned you someone who was taking their PT position seriously, you could see from his physique that he kept his own routine solid and you could learn a thing or two - if he wasn’t such an asshole.
“Take a picture, malcriada,” he said with a wink when your eyes finally reached his face.
“Such a shame,” you murmured wistfully.
“What?”
You dragged your eyes back over his body before sighing. “That a body that fine has a personality like yours.”
A wave splashed over you as he dove into the water and you lost sight of him in the dark. You should have put the underwater lights on but hadn’t wanted to light the water up when you hadn’t bothered to even change into a bikini. 
A large hand grabbed your ankle and you barely had time to inhale a breath before you were pulled under. Just as quickly as he grabbed you, he was gone again and you spluttered to the surface, wiping the water from your eyes. “Asshole!” 
“Is that the best you can do?” he laughed from the edge he was leisurely reclining against. 
“Come here and find out.”
He slipped beneath the water but this time you were prepared and met him halfway. Your bodies collided, twisting and turning trying to fathom some kind of dominance until your legs wrapped around his waist and he sank to the bottom with you on top. His hands found your thighs and dug into the soft skin until your lips parted with a sudden thought and the last of your air bubbled to the surface. 
“Not the attack I was expecting,” he taunted as he rose to the surface behind you. The water falling from his hair cooled as it dropped to your shoulder and his hand traced the curve of your neck. “Someone plays dirty.”
“I’m not playing.” Your voice wasn’t the cold detached sound you had hoped it would be, but a needy sigh. Your legs pressed together and you were suddenly reminded of how very naked you were. 
“Is that another invitation? You almost won that time.”
You turned around with a glare to find his smirk growing as wide as his pupils as he looked down at your body. “It’s not a fair fight anyway. I am naked and vulnerable.”
He chuckled at that. “I don’t think anyone could mistake you as vulnerable, malcriada, not with that prickly attitude and sharp tongue. But, if it would make you feel better about losing again…” his hands brushed over his hips and pushed his trunks down his thighs before he tossed them out of the pool. “Happy now?”
“I’m certainly something,” you murmured before realising you spoke aloud. Anger flushed your body again at the distraction he caused and you shoved your hand across the surface, spraying him in the face with the water. His momentary surprise was only that, momentary, and he leapt into your personal space with his own attack.
You weren’t quite sure how it happened, or how it started. Maybe the tension that had been brimming all week finally reached its breaking point and it was a mutual decision. One moment you were writhing to escape from his attack, your hands trying to find purchase on his body as you wriggled in his arms, the next you were writhing for an entirely different reason. 
His chest brushed over your sensitive peaks and your nails scraped down his back. Your legs tightened around his waist and felt the large length pressed between your stomachs. Your heads broke the surface but the gasp had nothing to do with the need for air when his palms squeezed your ass to hold you still. 
“What are you doing?” you moaned as you clit pressed to his shaft and every little movement rode you over the rigid veins. 
“I’m not doing anything,” he rasped, his voice dropping as he felt the heat of your core on him. “I’m trying to not fuck you right now.”
“Right, because you hate me,” you laughed humorlessly as you tried to wriggle out of his grasp but you both moaned at the feeling.
“No, because you hate me.”
It had been a while since you last had sex, that was the excuse you gave for being so needy and wanting to be filled right at that moment. “I can hate you and still want to fuck.”
Carlos stared into your eyes and saw the desire in them, felt the desire that had your nipples hard and begging for his mouth. “Fuck it,” he decided aloud. “I can hate you and still make you come.”
“Bold words.”
He didn’t give you a response, at least not in words. His strong hands lifted you higher and pulled you back down on his cock. Your teeth clamped around the muscle where his shoulder met his neck and he groaned at the pain and your muffled cry. 
“Fuck, you’re tight.”
“You’re too big,” you whispered as he slowly speared you down his shaft until you looked down your body expecting to see a bugle at your belly button. Easing you back up, he set a slow rhythm as your body adjusted to his size and walked you both to the edge of the pool.
“You can take it,” he promised as your legs untangled from around him and you found yourself facing the mountain you had climbed earlier. His hips snapped forward and buried himself back in you from behind and your cry echoed out into the night. “That’s it, make an avalanche, malcriada.”
You didn’t care that he called you brat. You didn’t care if you brought the mountain down on the whole town. You only cared about reaching your own high and you chased it with your hips, pushing back to meet him stroke for stroke. Waves rippled out across the water and soon turned to splashes as your core tightened and those ripples began to make their way down your spine.
“I can feel you shaking,” he teased in your ear, his hand snaking over your hip to find your clit. “Let go, dulce, let me feel you come.”
Your eyes slammed shut as waves of pleasure rocked through you and his name tumbled from your lips, betraying yourself with the reverent tone it held. His pleasure grew at the sound and he slammed himself as deep as he could in your cunt, letting your tight walls milk him as he came. There should have been anger at the idea of being filled with his seed, but you took delight in the liquid warmth pooling inside you. You had made him come undone, it was a win of sorts in your mind.
Satisfied for the moment, you pushed his body back and walked up the steps, into the biting cold night. Carlos was still high from his release and he didn't realise until it was too late. You were already halfway to the suites when he noticed his robe was missing, a quick scan of the snow confirmed his trunks had found the same fate.
“Brat!” he called out as you disappeared inside.
“Asshole.”
Click here for part two.
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