#also one of the most romantic scenes ive ever watched in my life in a show was a breakup scene and ive been chasing that high

[sforzesco]

ANTONY cry 'havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war

earlier in my script (which is not Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar), Antony refers to Dolabella as one of his ‘dogs of war’ when talking to Cassius (which IS a reference to Shakespeare’s JC), and it comes back around after Cicero writes to Cassius and informs him of Trebonius’ fate

While these things were taking place at Rome, Cassius and Brutus were collecting troops and money, and Trebonius, governor of the province of Asia, was fortifying his towns for them. [...] Trebonius, who was captured in bed, told his captors to lead the way to Dolabella, saying that he was willing to follow them. One of the centurions answered him facetiously, "Go where you please, but you must leave your head behind here, for we are ordered to bring your head, not yourself." With these words the centurion immediately cut off his head, and early in the morning Dolabella ordered it to be displayed on the praetor's chair where Trebonius was accustomed to transact public business. Since Trebonius had participated in the murder of Caesar by detaining Antony in conversation at the door of the Senate-house while the others killed him, the soldiers and camp-followers fell upon the rest of his body with fury and treated it with every kind of indignity. They rolled his head from one to another in sport along the city pavements like a ball till it was completely crushed. This was the first of the murderers who received the meed of his crime, and thus vengeance overtook him.

App. Civil Wars III. 26

For Dolabella is in Syria, and, as you have foreseen in your prophetic soul and have foretold, Cassius will crush him while they are on their way. For Dolabella has had the gates of Antioch shut in his face and got a good beating in trying to storm it. Not trusting in any other city, he has betaken himself to Laodicea, on the sea-coast of Syria. There I hope he will speedily pay the penalty of his crime: for he has no place of refuge, nor will he much longer be able there to stand out against an army as large as that of Cassius. I even hope that Dolabella has by this time been overpowered and crushed.

Cic. Fam. 12.14

Place then before your eyes, O conscript fathers, that spectacle, miserable indeed, and tearful, but still indispensable to rouse your minds properly: the nocturnal attack upon the most beautiful city in Asia; the irruption of armed men into Trebonius’s house, when that unhappy man saw the swords of the robbers before he heard what was the matter; the entrance of Dolabella, raging,—his ill-omened voice, and infamous countenance,—the chains, the scourges, the rack, the armourer who was both torturer and executioner; all which they say that the unhappy Trebonius endured with great fortitude. A great praise, and in my opinion indeed the greatest of all, for it is the part of a wise man to resolve beforehand that whatever can happen to a brave man is to be endured with patience if it should happen.

Cicero, Philippic 11

Philippi and Perusia, Ronald Syme

ko-fi⭐ bsky ⭐ pixiv ⭐ pillowfort ⭐ cohost ⭐ cara.app

[floorpancakes]

there's smth so fucking wild abt 🏹 being like ride or die at first sight and determined to help 🐣 and 🐣 seeing 🏹 and being like no i am gonna randomly attempt to start a fight with you in the hallway in front of multiple people solely because you didn't pass the vibe check

[polyamorousmood]

Imma just vent a bit if you dont mind but also hearing your thoughts would be nice. So basically, theres this couple that i met a few months ago, and to put it bluntly, im very into them. I've only really been starting to get closer to them in the last few weeks and have been hanging out with them a lot lately. I have lots in common with them and I think they are both very attractive and I would like to date them.

But I dont know if they would be open to polyam. They have been together for a very long time, like theyve practically grown up together and they are very close. The last thing i would want to do in intrude on that or try to get between them or anything like that. So ive been thinking that I won't say anything about my feelings. I wouldn't want it to ruin a friendship I just started with them. If they ever approach me about, ofc i know what I'll say. But I think the smartest thing would be to enjoy the friendship i have with them and only change our relationship to a romantic one if they are the ones who ask me.

but mann is it rough out here lmao

I gotta break your heart here a little bit, sorry 💔knowing nothing else about them, they aren't likely to want to do a poly thing. Its just facts that its a pretty rare set-up. Maybe certain things about them make you think they're more likely than most. But even if we say people with X characteristic are several times more likely to be poly/open to poly, the odds still aren't in your favor. Which um. Been there, fucking sucks to be there. Hope I never go back, please do not bring me any souvenirs. 🔮(<pretend this is a snowglobe)

Having said that. Perspective like that is pretty much always going to be an outsider's perspective. While you're in it, things look pretty good. They both like you! They're both so cool, they could be poly! And if they are, isn't being their 🦄unicorn, like, every poly couple's dream? You would be doing them a favor! And anyway, isn't it at least worth a shot with how much you like them? I get it. So assuming that's where you're at, how do make moves without professing your undying love (risky! could ruin everything!!)

In my opinion? First step is talking about your own polyamorous tendencies and seeing if they're cool with it. How you do this is going to depend on how your personality and how you normally interact with these people. Maybe you can complain about the dating scene and how what you really want is poly, but that's hard to find. Maybe you talk about previous poly relationships. Maybe you formally Come Out™️. Whatever you feel is appropriate, idk your life.

If you've already done this recently, and they were polite but nothing more than polite: the dream is probably dead.

If you've done this recently, and they acted any level of uncomfortable: the dream is definitively dead.

If you did this recently and they acted excited or interested: start flirting for real immediately.

If you did this but its been awhile: bring it up again, start some plausibly deniable flirting, and/or drop hints that you'd like to date a couple and watch reactions closely.

Good luck out there🍀, and let us know if anything actually comes of it! I really wish you the best

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 1/9/2024

the BEAST (phil) has been SPAYED

listening

my sister ALSO, INDPENDENTLY, keeps tuesdayesqe lists in the back of her planner! which is what i used to do before these posts! You Got A Man by JAWNY is off her 2023 playlist. this philly artist's claim to fame seems to be that he dated doja cat for six months? the song is short, bratty, and fun indie/alt not-quite-rap. i have no knowledge of how much the man overlaps with the song. spotify

-

reading

ive never watched supernatural, except by osmosis bc i signed up for this website in 2011. this book is what i imagine people say when they say "what if supernatural was good?"

Rebecca Roanhorse's Trail of Lightning (her debut) and Storm of Locusts takes Maggie, a typical lone hero/monster hunter/horrible bitch of a woman (i say this approvingly) and says listen! you can do way sicker shit if you like. accept help and community and have a support system. it does not read like booktok found family or approach this in the typical fanfic way, which is refreshing. it points out that you will be a much longer lived and successful monster hunter this way. this is optimization, if you really look at it.

most postapoc stuff doesn’t contend with the fact (if it even acknowledges indigenous people at all) that indigenous people have already lived through several colonizing apocalypses. these books make a very sharp point that there is not a tremendous amount of difference between the reservation before the apocalypse and the reservation after the apocalypse. the worldbuilding in these is a interesting spin on sea levels plus the Energy Wars, to keep all of that at arms' length the Diné built a magical and physical wall, which i think is a funny spin on the trump border wall.

neither of them are really romance or kissing books, there is romantic interest but they are kept extremely busy not dying and admiring each other's competence. they are action and gore heavy. this is notable bc the books are fairly short (took me about two and a half hours each) and they have pretty fuckin good action scenes! the first book has an underground club and fight ring run by a cat god: club atmosphere was terrific (there's a bit about them having to drag in hastily camouflaged cheap walmart tables to handle some overflow and i instantly knew exactly the table), it had a dress up scene I was very weak to. i thought the series of events by which they ended up at the big boss battle post-club was kind of stupid but (forgivably) the big boss battle was quite enjoyable. figuring out what to do with your life next when you’re highly trained for a very specific thing but also not trained enough to be a serious danger and were set up to fail was extremely compelling to me, an astronomy major who cannot actually work in astronomy.

second book really hits its stride and (girl who has only played fallout voice) feels very fallout-y. desperate quest to save a loved one. girls' trip through a bunch of weird places with a bunch of weird guys. there's a lot of references that play with tone without ever going HEY REMEMBER THIS OTHER WORK YOU COULD GO LOOK AT RIGHT NOW? there’s a plane and a weird guy that made me think of mad max thunderdome, except the weird guy is his own character and has his own arc. there’s a weird grandpa on a boat who i don't think is a reference at all, except maybe to the timeless genre of weird grandpas on boats. there’s a sentient casino trapping people inside that reminded me of the new vegas dead money expansion, except Maggie barely steps inside bc she immediately gets caught up in a day-long battle of wits against the god of gambling. Maggie is a little more settled in her own skin now that she’s regularly talking to other people and has rejoined her community in her own small ways on her own terms and it HAS made her a much more successful monster hunter. the dialogue is snappier, the action scenes are more elaborate and smoothly choreographed. it's nice to watch an author grow so quickly (from this is serviceable to oh SHIT this is fun) over the course of a duology :) this feels like it was meant to be a trilogy but this book came out in 2019 so i am not holding my breath. it has a nice solid endpoint right here imo.

past sexual violence is sort of orbited around but no sexual violence is actually depicted, which i appreciate as a woman trying to enjoy postapoc.

libby has a very helpful Indigenous Voices category/reading guide/thing. thank u libby now i want to read everything else she's ever written

-

watching

saw a piece of fanart i cannot find now for the three minute short PUPARIA by Shingo Tamagawa.

Something is about to change drastically. We can only be witnesses to it.

it's a weird and stunningly beautiful little thing i am still worrying at like a dog with a peanut butter kong. if you have a thing about eyes or clusters of round shapes this is NOT the three minute short for you btw

-

playing

the free epic game was the Eidos Montreal Guardians of the Galaxy game, and since i am allergic to dead moms i will not be playing it. widely reviewed as "good writing, but not very much fun to actually play" so i don't feel like i'm missing out on too much.

i have no good story to tell about my time with genshin this week. we're aiming for "can i turn my brain off for forty minutes in the evening" and grinding a lot of one specific boss while listening to podcasts does seem to be enough to turn my brain off.

-

making

i have been frantically deep cleaning (including soaking the office in enzymatic cleaner [thanks phil]) bc my siblings are coming to town for a couple days and despite several setbacks (a completely different arrival time than the one they told me) and absolutely no sense of an itinerary we will be fine! we will all be fine and have fun! i will be SO fine and calm and chill and we will all have some fucking fun so help us god

ALSO also phil has finally been spayed and is now dealing with four separate issues: the giant wound still on her side, the spay incision, the necrotic abscess in her mouth from going too hard on a springy toy, and being underweight from trying to heal three things at once. we'll get there! we'll get there. it's just taking a while. we are going to have friday afternoon vet visits every week for the foreseeable future.

i love her so much and i'm glad she's feeling better but i genuinely think owning a horse would be cheaper than owning this one wonky cat. they shaved SO much of her tummy she looks even sillier than usual.

other than being Very Alert for the persistent little orange tomcat that keeps hopping up on my windowsill, mackie is doing fine. no concept of the fact that my siblings are going to pick her up more in two days than she gets picked up in a whole month. this is a girl that likes her feet on the ground thanks much

[inventedfangirling]

finished the gem that was 55:15 never too late :')

just finished 55:15 never too late and oh my god what a gem of a show!!! im so so so so glad i watched it.

i decided to give it a go just for nanon and khao but the show gave me so much more than them. idk why it took me till the last two episodes to get just how much emphasis the show was putting on the importance of friendships/ the platonic bonds in one's life, truly i can't think of the last time (probably heartstopper s2) where there was just so much beautiful expressions and forms of platonic bonds- the bonds between the 5 main leads (especially jaya and songphon, but also san and thep), songphon and mathee (from mathee's side it was platonic :3), songphon and his niece, jaruni and her father, jaruni's father and bomb, thep and his son, thep's son and san, thep and san, jaya and her manager -that you are my everything moment was really EVERYTHING to me.

as my usual practice of sharing my umpteen screenshots here's my most fav platonic moments from the last two episodes :')

who let him out of my pocket ughhhh songphon/paul one of my fav characters of all time now

one thing i've found it hard to come by in the shows i've been watching recently (bl dramas, mostly thai) is how there is next to no male interaction with women, and if there is, the bonds are very superficial or they stick to certain "acceptable" rules. so you could imagine my shock when i saw this scene of jaya sleeping soundly next to paul on the same bed. it is objectively a very normal/inane thing. but we just NEVER get representation of men and women simply being and existing as friends and doing friend things like sometimes sleeping in the same bed with the friend's pic on a frame that you're hugging (WHAT! ITS NORMAL), and so it really shook me. i love their bond so much :')

CUTIEEES.

also this moment...

as a person who genuinely believes that friendship >>>>>>>>>> every other relationship, seeing these words uttered between two lifelong friends made me tear up and HOW!! one of the most special things ive seen on media.

also not lost on me how my two most favourite platonic moments featured jaya who is the only character who isnt given a romantic storyline/sideplot/spouse. also point to note that jaya and paul are the only two characters who didn't get a traditional "romantic ending/closure" and they ended up getting such beautiful expressions of platonic love. LOVE that for them :')

that being said i cried at the part where phiphu read paul's letter and they put that montage of them laughing over it like HOW DARE THEY

i'm sorry but the mirroring in expressions drove me insane on first sight itself

eventho i found their love difficult to fully enjoy cos of the nature of it, this scene was just too beautiful not to love and im so glad paul got to express it

also khao looked so ADORABLE here i almost burst into tears not kidding!!!!

not to end the post without a nanon face appreciation pic- he was excellent throughout the show as expected and particularly in a fantastic scene in the finale episode that very few people could have pulled off like he did, what a frickin treasure he is.

bless his puppy eyes nose dimples cheek smile <3

to conclude what i wanna say, i wanna reiterate once again how i really REAAAAALLY enjoyed the show through and through

and while this mostly typo free post wont probably be making it obvious but im writing through tears, it was such a wonderful thing to experience. idk if and how much i would rewatch it but i think it's right up there with some of the best shows ive watched ever.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

[ladyryukyo]

Kyoya headcannons perhaps? Any random headcannons you think that suit him

anon tbh im actually so bad at headcanons lmao i really tried but i think i just ended up rambling about kyoya 💔

one thing i love about kyoya is how hes such a serious and stubborn character who is just so fun to uhm dumb down? what i mean by that is that when i think of kyoya, i think of him in battle, i think of his pride, of his unshakeable will, of his ambition and determination to succeed no matter what. its hard to imagine him in mundane situations, somewhere with no battles to be won, no hardships to overcome.

kyoya doing the laundry, going grocery shopping, watching tv, eating sweets. kyoya out with his friends, talking about the weather or traffic or clothes or whatever else. situations where he cant or would be unreasonable to react with anger and shouts and/or a tornado lol.

im pretty sure i touched on this a little in the kyoya/demure fic where demure is basically me every time he marvels at mundane, normal, ordinary human boy kyoya. theres something so charming about characters that seem larger than life being brought back down to earth, others realizing that these characters are not so different from themselves, learning to be unimpressed by their completely unremarkable behavior.

i need this realization to happen to every single love interest kyoya ever has in my fics. i have such a (metaphorical) boner for romantic partners seeing each other as equals in everything they are to each other. that includes kyoya - who has the worst case of main character syndrome ever - lifting his romantic partners up on that podium next to himself (or, for angst purposes, even higher). the mutual respect is just such good food.

as much as i love a good action scene, i love putting kyoya in the most mundane situations. lately, everything ive been able to write has been soft kyoya struggling to accept (maybe even embrace) his softness and learning to be soft with someone else. im hoping ill get a tsukyo fic out of it lol. also hoping kyoya doesnt turn tail when he inevitably scares himself with his capacity for softness.

i dont really know where else im going with this. kind of went on a tangent about kyoya being normal and his partners going feral over it (and then kyoyas partners being badass and kyoya going feral over it). thank you anyway for listening

[catharsis-in-a-bottle]

so i ummmmmm really liked andor. like, a lot. holy shit. i need to make a list of Things I Enjoyed

FINALLY, A STAR WARS SHOW WITH GOOD FUCKING DIALOGUE. THE WORDS FEEL LIKE WORDS REAL PEOPLE WOULD ACTUALLY SAY. CONGRATULATIONS.

ON THAT NOTE: a star wars show that DOESN'T try to cover up bad writing with cgi and nostalgia grabs!!!!! the writing is quite good and they didn't throw in fight scenes just for shits and giggles, they all had meaning!!! huzzah!!!

(like. i am floored that i have enjoyed a disney show. what can i say. i have been disappointed in the past because of their incessant desire to Churn Out Content which results in underpaid workers and Loads Of Hot Shit. i am slandering up in this house tonight)

alright let's talk about the SOUNDTRACK. upon my first listen of the main theme, i was like, huh, kind of boring... by my fifth listen i was like, This Theme Is Going To Kill Me, and So Is The Rest Of The Whole Damn Soundtrack. orchestral swells AND weird and fucked up electronic sounds!!!! they were not afraid of a little out-of-tune synth wobbling, and that i can RESPECT!!!!! also not to music theory on main but IV to VI chords in a minor key, which is in the theme, is just a fucking beautiful progression and i will always love it in any context except for pop music. OKAY MOVING ON

this is the first star wars media i've encountered that i felt had something actually substantial to say about imperialism. like a lot of the other shows and the movies themselves have felt idealistic about rebellion against fascism, and then andor walks in and is like, hey, you know how we fight imperialism? Armed Revolt!! you know what enables fascism! a lot of nuanced factors that we're going to delve into with some Rich Character Development!! and obviously the rebellion in all other star wars media is like, openly an armed revolt, but this show puts that into greater context w/ police brutality, prison systems, and colonization, which makes the politics not more obvious per se, but more impactful and in greater dialogue with its audience. in my opinion. okay moving on again:

let's talk about some characters baby!!! cassian andor was bound to join my blorbo library from the moment i began this show. i absolutely fucking love his development from passive victim of empire to "kill me, or take me in [to your violent rebellion]", AND i love his haircut, AND emotionally repressed characters will forever remain fixtures of my heart. he's so!!!!! you know!!!!! i swear to god the writers did SO well on this one

i am not going to pretend that i remembered most of the character's names. my family did not watch this with subtitles and my auditory processing is quirky and elusive. so anyway i really liked [insert name of Guy Behind Major Acts Of Rebellion - you know, stellan skarsgård] because of his take no shit, give all the fucks attitude, and gravelly voice, and stellan in general as an actor (i am totally not biased because of the chernobyl miniseries). GREAT fucking complicated character.

i did find the writing of vel and cinta so fucking hilarious though. like if you google "vel and cinta", there are questions about if they are a romantic pairing. i appreciate the effort here, and i appreciate the glimpse of an actual nuanced lesbian dynamic in a mainstream company, but star wars is still very wimpy about gay people on the surface. we still have the beneath the surface homoeroticism though so we're good

mon mothma and tay [insert last name] only straight people i can get behind

THE FUCKING PRISON. EVERYTHING ABOUT THE PRISON ARC. first of all: what a fucking physical and psychological horror show. i mean, my god, electrified floors, no escape, nobody ever leaves. all the rest of the horror comes directly from real life, of course - prison slave labor, unfair sentences, shit living conditions.... i don't know the name of andy serkis's character so i will just call him andy serkis. what an EXCELLENT turnaround! from complacent hopelessness to violent hopelessness, and we know which one is more useful!!! FUCK YEAH!!! ALSO: "ONE WAY OUT" OHHH MY GOD!!!! JUST WOW!!!!! and "i can't swim"........ at least he got to see the sunlight... god this is a side comment but i think it's a crime to have to be stuck somewhere where you can't see the fucking sun this INCLUDES places of work UM ANYWAY

i am Tired so i will now sculpt my concluding remarks: i am pleasantly surprised!! i am delighted, even!!! i have gained another character to rotate in my head!!! that is all good night/day/insert time here

[mariailoveyou-guerin]

they was having a Nolan marathon at the cinemas today N I cant believe he got me crying about the gays again plz they fit every me trope blonde x dark hair he fell first and he fell harder, them only been willing to risk their lives for each other or the world! fcvk u tenet Nolan

Nolan really has me crying about mf Neil and his protagonist boyfriend again in the mf year of 2023 when movie came out 2 years ago now in time it didn’t deserve to come out bc it didnt get the respect it deserved thanks to this stupid pandemic ruined it for us and me N my chance

If ever getting tenet 2 imagine Nolan waited and released tenet now the love and hype it would’ve gotten the same love and hype Oppenheimer is getting bc people can actually go to the cinemas now unlike during when tenet was released in era of a world pandemic which ruined it for

them and the blockbuster the cult following it will get some day soon but should’ve gotten from the first day it was released as it’s the greatest Nolan movie the script is insane deserved Oscar nominations for everything effects acting script the whole lot I’m so mad now being

reminded of what tenet could’ve gotten but didn’t get thanks to the pandemic and racism and stupid people not getting movies! I’m so 😡 it deserves so much better then what it got so much better so did all the actors they were amazing the movie was brilliant phenomenal incredible

like Neil like to say what’s happened has happened anyways tenet 2 Neil who’s also a protagonist and that’s what I think tenet 2 is about! Plz I need tenet 2 about how Neil feel in love with the protagonist which he wasnt supposed to mission wise yet he did from the start the joy

the mf love in his face when he saw the protagonist for the first time him remembering what he likes doesn’t plz he was always jealous about kat! asking if the protagonist was gonna go see her or watch over her from afar, plz they was crying for god sake him giving his piece of

most dangerous weapon to him just so he could go back to keep saving the protagonist because to him that’s more important! Fock you Nolan I’m not gonna watch Oppenheimer out of spite for making me feel this way again and again now I’m 2023 and until I get tenet 2 with Neil being

protagonist which people will love and call it his best work his best movie but as long as we get Neil and protagonist I don’t care as long it’s Pattison and John David! Please god I’m begging I need it now hope I get in 2-3 years which is Nolan script an filming new movie window

I did not just see people shipping Neil and Ives it’s always yt girls doing the most they didn’t even interact except at the last scene or the one scene when he called them please be for real like we get y’all obsessed and always pushing two white males together but stop especially here when Neil only knows and cares about the protagonist also I didn’t see protagonist x Neil not top most romantic real canon Nolan ship even tho it was the most real canon ship but ofc the one that top is a yt mlm ship and ofc article was written by a yt woman who said the movie tenet was Nolan most disappointing cold films yeah she’s insane she’s never watched a movie in her life let alone Nolan movie ever because then she would know this is Nolan greatest or top2-3 greatest movies he’s ever made and she clearly sounds like a yet woman who can’t understand epic good storytelling and plots sad really like please she can’t be for real ofc she said they cuz the lead wasn’t a yt man she finds attractive but a black man like who’s surprised shocked not me same old bullshitt always happening thanks to yt woman who are obsessed with yt mlm ship to a fetishising degree and only care about movies series anything especially ships if it includes 2 yt men

[sizhui]

hello angie :DD i am currently reading through your character study again! its very comprehensive so i hope to be able to get as much as I can out of it. also hehe ive noticed a pattern in what sorts of things you seem to enjoy writing about, from what ive read it seems wen kexing n ah xu (idk his name sorry) remind me somewhat of the mother n father from when she calls them down to dinner or perhaps wilfred (fogot) n his husband... but theres not so much erm downer here? anyways i like those things so im glad u can write about things so viscerally !! also i thoroughly enjoyed how u use settings, ghosts n hauntings to explore wen kexing's character. im not sure how much of these images are present in canon but from what i know of cn novels i wouldnt expect it to be too far from canon!

ill put the rest of my response under the cut !

it was very romantic i felt :) particularly the bits about like. letting go and becoming human, becoming properly tangible with ah xu. sort of accepting the incomprehensibility of their becoming if it makes sense? it was so very romantic to me.i particularly enjoyed the bit about gallows and ghosthood and houses? idk it was just so romantic it brought me to tears!! like it is about love!

i dont really know what the ghost or valley is but i enjoyed that u developed it overtime. also i enjoye dhow the story transitions, from wen kexing alone physically n w his thoughts to the ah xu entering his life, filling his memories n changing him. its good for the tone.

like i got the vibes that wen kexing is a ghostly gloomy man. he seems sorta cynical and forsaken but desiring deeply to be whole i think. the heaviness of his burden was conveyed well. from the visceral n shocking scene of eating his fathers corpse a complete inversion of natural order i guess and love . he feels very trapped, always struggling but not quite able to get there alone. i also found ig a struggle within him to just die lol or Not.

particularly i feel wen kexing's decision to cut down the forest in his heart, his perception of himself as a dying tree, among one of the ghosts (being haunted n himself haunting) rlly emphasise that he is stuck and this death looms ever forward

ALSO AAAAH PHYSICIALITY!!! i liked that how its used.. being able to be touched by others to confirm you are a living thing or believe you are but now

anuyways sorry this was long n rambly n nothing but really!! it felt like such a nice love story somehow!!

thumbs up i liked it !! :D r u watching anything next

HELLO DEAR LAB!!Thank you SO MUCH for such a long and thorough and beautiful analysis of my story, i let out a funny sound of joy like 10 times while reading it!!!!! Your perception of the story is pretty much exactly what I was trying to convey with it - i feel a little proud of both of us, and blessed to have a reader as wonderful as you!

In the novel there is a fraction of people called "ghosts" who live in that valley cast away from society, but it's never really explored what that status MEANS for them so this was my take on it - in a way it's canon compliant, but most of the ideas came from my crazy overthinking hehe, I'm really happy you enjoyed! I'm very happy you perceived this story as deeply romantic, because that was the goal - writing about painful things like suicidal ideation, haunting and eating your father's corpse (he does actually do that in the novel OUCH) and having it still be a love story... There is definitely a lot of struggle to Just Die in Wen Kexing. Like Ah Xu explicitly wants to die in the novel and everyone always talks about that, but i also perceived the same in Wen Kexing and felt that that was one of the reasons they were able to connect and wanted to write about it. I'm happy you were able to get such a good grip on his character from my writing alone! I also usually avoid writing about physicality so I'm glad it fit in well here and served the story well !

Please don't apologize for this being long because that made me very happy, and it's definitely not rambly and nothing, it's everything to me! Thank you, dear Lab, for reading my work with such care ♥️♥️♥️♥️

P. S. IT ALSO MADE ME HAPPY THAT U CONNECTED IT TO BSCTTD . EVERYTHING ALWAYS COMES BACK TO IT.

[temporalbystander]

So. I have, once again, come to the conclusion that the reason why we can't have the best in life is because people have copyrighted the good and refuse to let anyone make it better... This is gonna be a gaming ramble btw. A long one.

Anyway let's begin with what started the realisation this time. A few days back, probably prompted by my rebinge of TGSAnime's Yu-Gi-Oh videos, I was suggested to watch a couple videos of someone playing tag force. It was okay, not the greatest, but I liked how the character models of the duelists had an animation for everything from drawing, setting a card and activating a spell. It was cute.

Well about an hour ago I stumbled across a video title that REALLY caught my attention. One that was talking about the Tag Force series, which holy shit there's more than one game, while also calling them dating Sims. As a romantic (read, guy who really crushed on Alexis Rhodes when GX first came out) I decided this video needed a watch through and.... Well damn if it wasn't the most amazing game I've ever heard of. Not only do you get to go through Duel Academy, and all the events of the show, as your own original character. But you get to interact with the characters and bond with them! Then, in the sequel, you get your own little unique story lines with them after the show plot is over! And in the third and final one (final GX one I mean)? All that growth from the first two games carries over into the final season 4 plot along with you, feeling like your own complete character, graduating duel academy.

Obviously this sounded like the most amazing thing I had ever heard of in my life so, of course, I immediately started googling to see if anyone had taken this idea and pushed a little further with it. Made it into more of a fleshed out dating sim with unique interactions. The results? Not only do Yu-Gi-Oh and dating sim only bring you right back to Tag Force. But Yu-Gi-Oh and rpg seems to be just as barren a search. I'm sorry but I find it incredibly hard to believe that Im the only one who's interested in hearing about the characters of an anime interacting with you as you join them on their journeys. If Konami made a series out of it then clearly there's a target audience.

But nope. All I got were card game simulations. As if people no longer care about the characters and the stories. Bull. The card game sucks, it's beyond broken and the obsession with meta is garbage. It's the same thing that ruined competitive Pokemon for me, the top ten in every tournament using almost the exact same team of six (some of whom have even admitted to using hacked perfect IV and evs because they don't give a damn about the game and see if as an easy way to make money. I don't know if that's still the case but the fact a competitive scene could ever let it get to that point? Is disgusting.)

Anyway, my hatred of competition meta ruining fun games not withstanding, let's talk about this realisation. Konami clearly owns the rights to developing bonds as you interact and play alongside your favourite duelists. (I know that's not how copyright works but I swear it makes sense eventually.) Because of this? There is no chance of finding any other fanwork using this same premise but pushing it a bit further. Giving you minigames or other events you can spend with your partner beyond simple dueling or talking... Or giving them eggwhiches (my brain practically overloaded when I heard that was a feature.) Anything to develop the relationship further. Nope. The best we will ever get is Tag Force. Which, I mean, is still amazing and raises the possibility of Konami doing a remaster some day which I am all for. I just heard this existed and it's the best thing ever. I would die for a remaster.

But, as pointed out in my first paragraph, this isn't the first time I've come to the realisation that a system, which would be beyond amazing if manipulated a bit, will forever remain stuck with the original creators who don't care to improve on it. The other examples? Fire Emblem and Persona. Both of these series are God-tier. The social links and affinity systems are amazing! So, of course, you can imagine my severe disappointment when, after my first encounter with both these series, I saw nobody else had done anything like it. No social links that affect the story beyond a few optional scenes (though P5 using all the confidants to boost gameplay mechanics? *Chefs kiss* brilliance.) And no games where affinity rank ups are more than a few lines of dialogue that are almost exactly the same in spite of who the characters interacting are (most noticeable when dealing with the scenes between parents and children. The parent with the same class would get an incredibly detailed scene while the other parent just got the generic other parent scenes with maybe a line or two different. I don't even think there's anything special about siblings.)

Seriously. That is three separate series, with three separate mechanics that have so much potential. And nobody else is doing anything with them. How can we possibly still be getting inspired fangames based on the Gameboy Pokemon era graphics and yet nobody has touched these ideas? It could be so good. But it won't. Because the copyright holders don't care about improving it.

[xx-psych0-rabbit-xx]

episode 1 n 2 suck, theyre just generally super boring n stolas is one of the most unlikable characters ive ever seen? i would not mind if the show wasnt so insistent hes suddenly a cool guy, literally hed work perfectly if it wasnt constantly trying to convince you "we actually decided hes not bad anymore so feel bad for him" n his relationship w his daughter is also just.so bad.they want it to be "your dad fucks up sometimes" but literally weve had two episodes where shes in it at all n in both of them he fucks up so bad she runs off, it doesnt matter he was cute w her when she was a child octavias life is absolute misery bc both of her parents r insufferable get my girl OUT of there

episode 3 me n my friend watched by accident back when we were watching season 1 n its definitely miles better than the first two, ive noted this before but ignoring the super "eh" handling of SA in hazbin vivziepop is actually like.p good at depicting abuse.its uncomfortable in a "oh this is bad" way

episode 4 was.just a whole bunch of nothing.literally 20 minutes to establish nothing that cant be established in the future w a one liner.the definition of "what was any of that for".i dont even have anything to complain bc theres nothing worth the effort in it

episode 5 i will admit we skipped bc i commented i heard it was one of the most disliked ones n smth i heard abt second hand embarrassment humor in it n my friend Utterly Refused To Watch It so we just did a summary.if its actually a masterpiece of cinema im willing to take the blame for missing out for both of us

episode 6 was.actually i rly liked that one ! ignoring the insistence theres anything good between blitzo n stolas (bc yk.making a guy sleep w you so he wont lose his job n making unwanted advances for most of your screentime before the writer decided youre a good guy now is like.not an issue worth addressing if your childhood was sad n your wife hates you) it was just.it was nice it had heart blitzo n fizzs relationship was fun to watch improve n the action scenes had rly fun choreography, frankly not only the best helluva episode so far but also still one of the best episodes from HB n hazbin combined.just.i liked it! was such a good note to end our watch on

i had seen essentially everyone say the show loses its premise between seasons n yeah no it absolutely does.this isnt a show abt "smth happens while the funny demons r trying to kill someone" anymore its an intense romantic drama between two guys who should see the psychologist n stay 50 feet away from each other at all times n bc its so insistent that nooo its totally romantic !!! you dont even get like.some toxic yaoi tragedy stuff its just bad to watch

*lights up a cigarette* helluva season 2 is.i feel like im watching the rock bottom of the basement of the quality scale.

[floralseokjin]

⤑ made-up love song v (m).

Your first encounter with Kim Seokjin doesn’t go so well, nor your second, or your third… and maybe that’s because it shouldn’t work on paper. You’re an elementary school teacher, never left the country despite hitting the third decade of your life not so long ago, and you’re unable to remember the last time you dated. He’s the dad of one of your students, nearly a decade older than you and divorced. Oh yes, and just another minor detail – he’s a multimillionaire. 

Your lives are lightyears apart, yet somehow, your paths having now crossed, things just seem to fall into place…

pairing; kim seokjin x reader  au/genre/warnings; strangers to lovers, romance, eventual angst, single dad! seokjin, ceo! seokjin, elementary school teacher! oc, age gap (oc is 30, seokjin is 37), seokjin is a dilf, fluff, smut; a shit ton of kissing, oral (f), seokjin likes eye contact, slight overstimulation, he also seems to have a slight potty mouth when turned on, romantic sex, protected sex, shower scene, oral (m), this chapter is basically just sex, enjoy! (yes, the dilf dick is b i g) lingerie described found here for the visuals ~  words; 9,572

↪︎ chapter index

chapters; i • ii • iii • iv • v • vi • vii • viii • ix • x • epilogue (+ drabbles)

Saturday couldn’t come soon enough. You were like a little kid at the lead up to Christmas. You couldn’t remember the last time you were this excited for something. Actually, on second thoughts, you couldn’t think of a time you were this excited for anything, period. And all over the prospect of sleeping with Seokjin, and definitely not in the innocent way… He had in no way explicitly stated that you’d be having sex this week, but the insinuation was heavy in the air. Everything leading up to this moment was suggesting come Saturday night you would not be sat in front of Seokjin’s 75” television watching boxsets… 

On the morning of you decided to pack a few things in a small case. You definitely planned on returning home in the day if needed or bored while Seokjin was at work, but the essentials were required: underwear, pyjamas, a few outfits, toiletries and skincare, your iPad, miscellaneous chargers. Soojung on the other hand was acting like you were never coming back… 

“I’m going to miss you.” She whined, having been hovering around you as you packed. “Leaving me alone with smelly Tae.” 

In a bid not to be alone in the evenings she’d invited her smelly boyfriend over for the week, but although she sounded irked it was all just an act. God knows what they’d get up to while you were gone, you dreaded to think. On second thoughts, maybe it would be best to stay at Seokjin’s place all week… You had no clue what you’d walk in on in your own home.  

“I won’t be gone the whole week. Besides, we can meet up for lunch and stuff.” You often visited her at the department store, perusing the food court until it was time for her lunch break. You weren’t secluded from the whole world while away. What did she think was happening? 

She helped you fold your clothes in momentary silence, deep in thought it seemed. “What if you love it there and want to stay permanently Dilf mansion?” 

You scoffed immediately, taking the small pile of t-shirts from her to pack away. “Soo, way to jump the gun.” You’d been dating barely six weeks, hadn’t even had sex yet, moving in together was number 1 on the highly unlikely list. Although, sliding in a couple of pairs of flats into the top pocket of your case and zipping it up, you hummed in consideration. “Dilf mansion does have a ring to it though…” 

Soojung’s attention was on another pile of clothing now – one you would be wearing this evening to leave for Seokjin’s house. Her fingertips brushed along the delicate baby blue lace of your lingerie, sitting on top of the pile and she looked up at you and grinned wickedly. “You’re going to knock his socks off with this.” 

You and her had spent yesterday browsing the mall with a very important task. To decide on the most perfect lingerie set. Knowing Seokjin for a while know, you’d noticed he had an inclination for the colour blue, so your chosen piece had to be a winner – practically see-through, littered in beautiful lace flowers. You were well and truly prepared for tonight, you were a woman on a mission. 

“His Dilf socks,” you corrected your best friend, both of you instantly exploding into a fit of giggles. 

Arin had left with her grandparents this morning, and as much as Seokjin was eager to get this weekend started and see you immediately, he actually had a few things he needed to take care of at work. It wasn’t until around 5pm that you got into your car to make the short journey, Soo waving you off proudly like you were about to attend your graduation. You were honestly quite calm given the circumstances, although one look at Seokjin as he stepped out the front door to take your case and all inner composure was lost. You were one big ball of excitement, most of it flurrying around in the pit of your stomach. Yet you kept cool on the outside, grinning at the handsome man in front of you despite your lingerie burning marks into your skin. 

And handsome he was today, (as if he wasn’t every day), his dark hair parted in the centre of his forehead naturally, his eyes crinkling as he smiled and leaned in for a kiss. You tasted a hint of mango on his mouth, an obvious sheen to his plump lips, and you presumed he’d applied some chapstick before you’d arrived – the chapstick you’d bought him not too long ago after he’d complained of cracked lips to you on the phone one night. 

“Hey,” he greeted softly, his arms around your waist, body pressed snuggly into yours. 

“Hey yourself,” you murmured, wrapping your arms around his neck, gazing into one another’s eyes before you lightly teased him. “Are we going to stay out here all night?” 

Chuckling heartily, he reached behind you, lifting your case with ease. “Let’s go put this in my room.” 

You’d never once stepped foot onto the upper level of his house before, so you were very observant on your way to his bedroom, eyes catching art pieces (you noticed numerous of Arin’s) and photos along the walls, light fixtures, as well as the odd plant here and there. You had to walk two flights of stairs to get to your destination, one average in length, the other shorter, veering off to the left of the corridor to reach a landing leading into his bedroom. You remembered what he’d said about changing and designing his bedroom himself, so you were very curious as to what it looked like inside. Yet still, the sight of it stunned you to brief silence. 

His was the largest bedroom in the house, the master bedroom if you were being fancy, but in your opinion it was more like a mini home in itself. All it needed was a kitchen and you would be good to go. It smelt just like him – of his cologne and the recognisable vanilla scent his house seemed to waft of every time you visited. The walls were warm grey, décor similar with dashes of cream and gold. The bed matched the whole vibe of the room – insanely large, and you could already tell it was going to be the comfiest thing you’d ever slept on. Directly opposite, but a long way away, were a sofa and love seat sat around a TV hooked to the wall above a stunning fireplace. There were two sets of double windows, from the ceiling to the wooden floor, dark grey drapes open – not that it mattered. Seokjin’s house was out-of-the-way, no chance of being seen. All you were met with as you looked down, was a small patch of garden you hadn’t seen before, plain and simple, but very beautiful. Tranquil. 

To the left of the room a door opened into another, perhaps a quarter of the size – his closet, and you followed him inside, still pretty much lost for words. He said there was no point putting your belongings away tonight, you could do it tomorrow, but he’d saved a drawer for you and there was an empty section of hanging space you could use too. There was also a dressing table you could put to good use, because he sure didn’t, and then he whisked you away into the bathroom, which was probably the most beautiful room in the house. Everything was warm marble in colour. A separate bath and shower (both gigantic) and double sinks. 

“I got you a robe,” Seokjin pointed out, and you followed his gaze to behind the door, two fluffy white robes hooked to the wall. 

Oh, boy. You could get used to this. 

.

.

Seokjin ordered takeout for dinner – from an Indian restaurant Namjoon kept raving about apparently. With the amount he ordered you could have sworn he was feeding a whole party, not just the two of you. You were stuffed in no time, curling up on the sofa with a glass of red wine as Seokjin loaded the dishwasher. He still hadn’t cooked an actual meal for you, and when he joined you, of course you reminded him. This week he was preparing dinner for you one night, and that was final. You needed to see what Chef Kim had in him – even if he insisted his skills were long forgotten.  

You cuddled as you watched a movie, which more often than not meant you’d start to become sleepy – just ask Soojung – but tonight was different. You were wide awake and practically thrumming with excitement. You were begging for the movie credits an hour before they were due, and when they finally popped up your heart started to beat harder in anticipation. It was nearing 11pm. Your lingerie was still burning welts into your skin… 

Seokjin kissed the top of your head, your back pressed into his chest where you’d been snuggled into him, legs across the sofa, for the duration of the night. One of his arms was crossed around your front, the other free to drink his wine as he propped his feet up on the glass topped coffee table. You could really get used to this. 

“What did you think?” He hummed, reaching forward to place his glass on a coaster. You grabbed his hand, not wanting him to leave you and he chuckled, quickly resuming position to now loop both arms around your shoulders, pressing you further into the warmth of his body. 

“I enjoyed,” you replied with a small shrug. In all honesty it would’ve been a great movie if you hadn’t been so distracted. 

You felt him lower his head, breath hot against your ear as he spoke. “I’m glad you didn’t fall asleep on me.” You giggled as he started to kiss the column of your neck, his barely there presses of his lips tickling you. Yet still you pushed into his hold, letting your head fall back. He took the opportunity to suck your earlobe between his lips, eliciting a sweet sigh from you. “I really can’t wait to spend this entire week with you.”  He whispered. 

You tried to keep your voice as uninvolved as possible – which was a lot harder when he now had your earlobe between his teeth. “Eh. I’m so-so over it.” 

“Y/N!” He scolded playfully, groaning a laugh as he lifted his head away. “Stop. Now’s not the time for joking around.” 

“I’m sorry,” you giggled, latching onto his hands. 

“Face me,” he murmured almost suddenly. “Let me kiss you properly.” 

His kisses were gentle and loving, his hands cupping your face as you leaned into him, hands placed across his hard chest. He was wearing a simple white t-shirt tucked into some black pants, he’d looked irresistible all night. He pulled away slowly, lips upturned almost drunkenly. “What’s that grin for?” 

Seokjin’s gaze flicked from your lips to your eyes repeatedly as he replied, thumbs massaging circles into your cheeks. “I’m just very happy. Is that allowed?” 

Giggling, you pressed your mouth to his, wrapping your palms around his neck to pull him in closer. He hummed loudly – indulgently, and let you lick into his mouth, his own hands slipping down to your neck and down your torso, gripping your middle. Your chest was flush to his and you welcomed the heat of his body. You were happy too. It had been a long time since you’d last felt this content, and tonight you’d realised just how lovely it was to be able to lounge with Seokjin and be in his company so casually, so naturally like this. You would become spoiled this week, but you couldn’t feel too worried right now. 

Breaking away again, it seemed like he wanted to say something, but your mouth was a greedy thing, finding its way down his neck and across his throat as he leaned his head against the back of the sofa, his breathing shallow as he let you wonder. His fingers brushed up and down your back distractedly, until he seemed to remember what he wanted to tell you. “Hey,” he whispered, breath catching in his throat when you pinched your teeth into his Adam’s apple softly. “Hey, stop for a moment. There was something I wanted to say before…” He trailed off, unsure how to finish the very obvious direction of his sentence, and as much as you wanted to nosedive straight into that pool, you pulled back to look into his eyes, waiting patiently. 

He straightened his back and you eased off him a little, finding his fond smile contagious. “I’ve enjoyed these past few weeks so much.” He began, sincerity in his tone . “I know I’m not old old by any means but dating you has made me feel like I’m young again. I mean, grinding in the middle of a bar is something I didn’t even do back in my college days.” 

“I fail to believe that,” you laughed. 

“Really,” he insisted, looking amused. “I was a nerd. A handsome one, but a nerd nonetheless.” Before you could roll your eyes he was continuing. “What I’m trying to say is that, I really like you, Y/N.” His fingers played with the ends of your hair lovingly.  “You know that already. Shit, I’m crazy about you. Just hearing your voice makes my day better. No matter how short a time we spend together, even if it’s just on the phone to say goodnight, I feel happy – I feel relaxed.” He paused to take a breath before moving to cup your face with one hand. “No matter how stressed I am you make it better by just existing.” 

“…Seokjin,” you murmured, a little lost for words at his declaration. 

He chuckled warmly, tops of his cheeks tinged somewhat rosy. “Too cheesy?”

You shook your head adamantly, reaching for his face as well. “Not at all. I’m crazy about you too.” His face lit up instantly and you couldn’t help but kiss him. “I’m so happy we met,” you confessed against his mouth. “I don’t want this summer to be over.” 

“It’s not over yet,” he laughed. “We still have time to make it even better.” You wanted that more than anything. Finding it difficult to keep away from your lips, he practically had to tear himself away. He was out of breath. “I know saying this out loud is silly given everything, but… Let’s make this official.” 

Your heart started somersaulting. You felt like you were in high school again, over the moon because Kim Rowoon had asked you to prom. Only this was better than that – much, much better. Linking your arms around Seokjin’s neck you tilted your head to the side, a grin unable to keep off your face. “Are you asking me to be your girlfriend, Mr. Kim?” 

“What do you say?” He sounded hopeful and soft. 

You hummed out loud, thinking hard. “Can I get back to you? 3 to five business days seems about right.” You immediately squealed as you finished your sentence, Seokjin’s hands finding their way around your butt to tug you forward. You gripped onto his shoulders with the surprise. 

“Too bad because I’ve already been calling you my girlfriend at the office.” 

You didn’t have a chance to reply, the hard press of his lips against yours knocking you senseless. You found yourself in his lap not long after, fingers dragging through his hair as you clung to him, mouths moving in gradual urgency until you began to feel out of breath. Your tongues seemed to grow more daring, intent, as your soft moans mingled with his quiet groans. You hadn’t quite found yourself in this position before, usually moulded to the soft leather but this time you had Seokjin pinned tight, a heat that was quickly becoming unbearable burning between your bodies, and his hands running up and down your back didn’t help. 

Each brush of his fingertips had your skin prickling with warmth, dizzying your mind, and when you felt him brush against the curve of your left breast you leaned forward into his touch, desperate for more. Seokjin grunted, encouraged by your action as he cupped the soft flesh, his thumb grazing your nipple which hardened from the touch. Your kiss turned a lot more frenzied after that, Seokjin roaming your body with confidence, his unoccupied hand cupping your butt to rock you against his crotch. 

He was hard. You’d felt it stiffening ever since you’d climbed into his lap, but now he was solid, flesh pressing (probably painfully) against his pants, and feeling emboldened you lifted your hips, hovering over him for your hand to slot in between your bodies, cupping his erection firmly. He stiffened under your grasp, his breath hitching and you took that moment to drag your tongue along his, teasing him as you slowly started to stroke him above his slacks. He felt thick and rigid between your fingers, pulsing erratically against your hold, and he broke away from your mouth, head falling back as a loud, drawn-out groan slipped from his throat. You gazed at him – eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed, mouth parted as he breathed shallowly – and took a mental picture. You wanted to remember this moment forever. He looked gorgeous, basking in pleasure and you wanted to pleasure him more. It was an urge so strong you practically dived on him, mouth slamming into his. He soon gained his bearings, kissing you just as wildly as his hands groped your body. 

“Do you – mm, do you want – mm – to take this upstairs?” He asked against your lips, fingers currently digging into the soft flesh of your ass. The veins in his neck were visible, his desperation for you obvious, and you pulled away from the kiss to nod rapidly. If he didn’t get you upstairs soon you’d surely explode. 

You let out a little squeak as you suddenly found yourself in the air, safely held up by Seokjin. You immediately wrapped your arms around his neck, clinging to him as he began to make the brisk walk to the hallway and towards the staircase. “Oh, my god,” you muttered, laughing as you realised he was about to carry you bridal style all the way up the stairs. 

“What?” He laughed back, his eyes twinkling warmly. Your heart melted at the sight and you leaned in to kiss him, uncaring that you both may fall backwards and break your necks. 

“I may have forgotten about the amount of stairs in this goddamn house,” he panted lightly once you’d made it past the first set. 

“Put me down then,” you giggled. 

“Never,” he sang out, pecking you on the mouth sweetly. 

Once in his bedroom, he placed you down, closing the door behind you before caging you against it, kissing you like he hadn’t seen you for months. You keened into his touch, whole body hot and ready for him, but in the end you couldn’t keep up with his mouth. He’d never kissed you like this, he was a man possessed, you physically felt weak at the knees and you clung to him, moaning softly when his mouth fell to your neck. 

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this,” he confessed against the wet skin, fresh waves of arousal washing through your body. His voice was an octave lower, gruff and nothing like you’d heard before. “I can’t contain myself knowing we’re going to be alone for a whole week.” 

“What do you plan on doing to me?” You laughed weakly, but to be honest, the time for wisecracks were gone. You were hanging on by a thread, this close to begging him to tear your clothes off. 

Cupping your neck he pulled away to look you in the face. His pupils were blown out, more black than the warm brown you were used to. The tops of his cheeks were tinged red, his own arousal very evident, and when he replied he sounded as sincere as ever. “Anything you want me to.” 

Okay, if he carried on like this, he’d mess up your plan good and proper. He was rude. Very rude. And hot, and sexy, and yours. God, you really wanted him. Your body was screaming for him. You pressed a kiss to his mouth, and then another, and another, determined not to get yourself glued there no matter how much he tried to drag his tongue along the seam of your lips. “L-let me freshen up,” you managed to get out, voice shaky as you (with great difficultly) held him away at arm’s length.  

At your words, he slowly made sense of them, his eyes refocussing before he gave you a short nod and politely stepped back. “Ok.” 

Before you could be tempted by that mouth of his once more, you made a dash for his bathroom, closing the door behind you. Immediately you began to rush out of your clothes, not even bothering to fold them properly because you were in such a hurry. You’d had this planned all night, wanting him to be rendered speechless, and staring at your lingerie cladded self in the giant mirror he had hooked to the wall, you reminded yourself to take a breather. You were going to walk out there calmly, the epitome of composed as you sought out his reaction. With one last look at your reflection, you walked towards the door and opened it. 

Seokjin was sat on the edge of the bed, legs sinfully spread (but oh so casually, which just made it hotter), but he wasn’t looking your way, his eyes darting around the room a little as if he was desperately trying to find some patience. Knowing he was riled and aroused made your head even more dizzy, and stopping by the doorframe, you called out to him. 

He looked your way instantly, eyes bulging even quicker. Actually they practically popped out on storks as he took in the sight of you in the baby blue underwear. He seemed paralysed. 

“Hey,” you smiled, all of a sudden feeling a little shy as you waited for him to say something. 

It took another moment, but then he was swallowing hard, wetting his mouth as his lips parted. “Oh, shit.” 

You smiled victoriously, those simple two words satisfying you fully. 

He outstretched his hand, voice thick and raspy as he beckoned you forward. “Come here.”

You obeyed, closing the distance between you quickly and Seokjin wasted no time clasping his hands around your hips as you stood in front of him, between his legs. If felt so good to finally have his hands on your bare skin. His touch was warm, soothing, but most of all, electrifying. Goosebumps spread as he dragged his fingers up and down your sides, his eyes drowning at the sight of you. 

“Do you like it? It’s not too much?” You asked, looking down at him. You glowed under his gaze. 

He lifted his head up, arching an eyebrow. “Do I like it? Is that supposed to be a genuine question?” He sounded just as baffled as he looked and it made you giggle. His fingers started to play with the thin waistband of your panties before delicately outlining the lace flower petals on your ass. The sensation made you shiver, and a small smile grew on his face as he watched you. “You look gorgeous.” He leaned forward, beginning to place small, gentle kisses on your abdomen and your skin rippled, butterflies appearing. “You’re beautiful.” He murmured, hot puffs of air hitting you, heating you up even more. 

You curled your hand in his hair, needing something to latch on to as you watched him mouth even more kisses along your flesh. The point of his tongue dipped into your navel scandalously, and as you gasped he looked up with his eyes and smirked, tongue now swirling invisible patterns along your stomach. The sight sent you a little gooey, legs feeling weak again as your heart thrummed inside your chest. 

“However… I was looking forward to undressing you…” He teased.

You teased right back. “You still have the lingerie.” 

He couldn’t handle that, growling quietly against your stomach, his hands rounding your ass to mould the flesh in his palms firmly. He’d soon tear the panties if he kept that up. Obviously the idea of stripping you naked sent him feral – something you’d remember well for this week. You yelped when you felt him sink his teeth into your hip bone, pulling him closer to your body by his hair, desperate for more. It was when you looked behind him, did you notice the pillar candles aflame on the two nightstands that sat either side of his bed. They weren’t burning before you’d entered the bathroom. You were sure of it. 

“Seokjin, did you light candles?” You asked without realising, changing the atmosphere slightly, but you didn’t mind too much, not when the image of Seokjin rushing to burn candles for the ~ambience~ was too damn adorable. 

He lifted from your skin, looking up at you. “Um, yeah.” He sounded a little awkward before he chuckled softly. “I thought against the slow R&B music.” 

“Good choice,” you laughed, fingers rubbing small circles into the nape of his neck. That would’ve been hilarious. 

“I’m totally out of my depth here…” He admitted, nudging you backwards a little to stand in front of you. He kept his hands on your waist, ducking down to be eye level with you. “I haven’t done this in a while.” 

“Snap,” you grinned, rubbing your nose against his as you wrapped your arms around his neck to hold him close. You kissed him deeply, feeling happy and relaxed. There wasn’t a nerve in sight and despite his honest words you knew he was at ease too.  

Your hands slipped over his shoulders and down his toned chest, stopping just before the waistband of his pants to tug at his t-shirt, untucking him. “You have to get naked too.” You whined, detaching your mouths. “I’m feeling sorely underdressed.” 

He let out an airy chuckle, immediately reaching for the neck of his shirt to tug it over his head. Your hands greedily started to explore his torso, running your fingers along his faintly lined abs before trailing up his hard chest. He shivered as you brushed against his nipples, a tiny laugh slipping from his throat. 

“What?” You laughed. 

“’Tickles.” He mumbled, leaning in for another kiss. You wrapped your arms around him, loving the feeling of his bare chest against yours, but soon enough you got impatient again, hands reaching for the button of his pants. You popped it open and proceeded to unzip him, at least giving his poor erection some reprieve. It had been pressed up against your lower stomach for quite some time, still rigid but as patient as ever. 

He took over, stepping back to push them past his hips, his lips still attached to yours. “Mm–Bed.” He hummed, taking you by the hips to switch places. You pulled away and sat down, watching him kick his pants off his feet and your eyes zoned in on the curve of his erection, hidden by his Armani underwear – black with a red waistband. His thighs were perfectly toned, his skim glowing in the soft lighting. He looked good enough to eat and your heart skipped a couple of beats as he walked forward. 

You laid back against the mattress, instantly groaning at how soft it was. You practically sunk inside. “Oh, damn this is comfy.” Rolling onto your side as Seokjin climbed on the bed, you hid your smirk. “I could just go to sleep…” 

“I don’t think so,” he told you, hovering over you. His hand smacked you ass causing you to squeal, and you flipped onto your back as he took the moment to cage you under his large body. 

This time his mouth completely bypassed your lips to kiss your chest, pressing into the indents of your collarbones before slipping to the tops of your breasts. He kissed the fabric, wetting it as his tongue traced the delicate flower petals and you gripped onto his shoulders with a moan as he encased one nipple between his lips, sucking gently, soaking the lace a darker shade of blue. “You drive me crazy,” he quietly panted, his hands reaching behind your back, arched into the pleasure he was giving you. “May I?” He asked, fingers finding the clasp of your bra. You nodded hastily, moaning louder when he lifted his head to kiss your lips. His motions were firm, tight pleasure filled grunts leaving him as he freed you of your lingerie. 

Immediately he pulled away, dark eyes soaking in your bare chest like it was the most stunning thing he’d ever seen. Your back arched further when his warm palms cupped your breasts, spreading a heat down your spine that settled between your legs. “You’re beautiful,” he awed, looking into your eyes, causing a sweet moan to fall from your lips. 

He moulded the soft flesh gently, before brushing his thumbs over your hardened nipples. That had you moaning again, pleasure you hadn’t felt in a long time rocketing up your body. It felt amazing to be touched by him, and you were greedy for more. He was on the same page, his lips replacing his thumbs, his tongue flicking against the sensitive bud that had you sighing out his name, your fingers threaded in his hair. He hummed against you, squeezing your breasts and pressing his body into yours – once – his erection pressing into your thighs, before he pulled away, kissing down your sternum before licking into your navel, his hands rubbing up and down the outside of your thighs. 

His lips avoided your clothed heat, which was frustrating to say the least. You were so eager by now, unsure if you could take much more kissing before you exploded, but Seokjin was a man determined – determined on kissing every inch of your body it seemed. He made it down one thigh before moving onto the next and as he got towards your knee you couldn’t help but giggle – it was beginning to tickle, but he didn’t stop, lips pressing down your calf.  

“Seokjinn,” you whined. 

He chuckled as he made his way back up the other leg, bending you at the knee before gently getting you to spread out for him. “What?” He murmured. Although you were distracted now, realising how aroused you had become, your underwear clinging to you desperately. He was kissing the inside of your thigh now, fingers hooked under the waistband of your panties and he was so close to where you wanted him you were trembling. He nosed his way to the apex of your thigh, groaning as he smelt you and then he was hastily tugging the lace down your legs, the last of your covering. Now you were totally naked in front of him, and he looked like he wanted to eat you up. 

“What do you want me to do?” He asked, voice gruff. He sounded so sexy. His eyes were glued to your centre yet he didn’t touch. When you didn’t reply, they flickered to your face. “Y/N. Hm?” 

You mind was a blur, you couldn’t think what to say, mainly because you wanted him to do anything and everything to you. You startled when he nosed the inside of your thigh, his hands sliding down your hips to grip the flesh underneath. “Taste you? Is that what you want?” He whispered, sending your insides somersaulting. He looked up as you nodded, and grinned. “You have to say it out loud, honey.” 

The bastard. He was teasing you. Trying to get under your skin. Your forced yourself to speak. “Taste me.” He hummed in response, pressing his mouth to your hip bone. You raised your tone, more determined. “Seokjin. Taste me.” 

He dived in. Placing gentle kisses up your slit, his lips ever so slightly brushing your clitoris. You moaned quietly, letting your eyes close as you laid back against the softest pillows you had ever felt. Your fists clutched the sheets, hips raising up when you felt the first wash of his tongue. Your breath caught, warmth turning you gooey. “Taste so good,” he mumbled into you – so quietly you wondered if you’d imagined it. 

You enjoyed the sensation for a few moments, quietly moaning intermittently before you felt the urge to take a peek. Opening your eyes and looking down your body, you saw Seokjin watching you, his eyes hungry. You quickly looked away, the back of your hand coming up to cover your mouth as a groan left you, your legs falling wider apart. The scene had been erotic but in all honesty you were feeling a little shy. It had been a long time since you’d had sex, so the idea of someone watching you so intimately made you feel funny. 

Seokjin was there to reassure you though. “Don’t look away, Y/N,” he murmured, pulling back to get your attention. “I want to see your face.” You looked again, watching him kneel low as he ran a hand up your thigh. His lips shone with your arousal. He looked beautiful. 

You moaned lowly when you felt him rub a finger at your entrance, and he watched you intently as he pushed inside, feeling you squeeze around the intrusion. He slowly began to curve the digit, pressing against your inner walls. Committed to pleasuring you, he watched your every reaction and this time you didn’t look away. 

“Does it feel good?” He asked, in awe as you writhed around on the bed, chasing the feeling. 

You moaned as you replied yes, only to jerk upwards when his thumb began to rub tiny circles against your clit. “Seokjin!” 

He liked that. Hearing you cry his name. He wanted to hear it more, dropping low to replace his thumb with his lips. He sucked the sensitive bud of nerves between them, flicking the tip of his tongue against it rapidly, earning him another cry, and he moaned gruffly against you, the vibrations shooting up your body. His free hand moved to your lower stomach, palm hot against your skin as he applied gentle pressure, holding you down. 

Oh god, you were a mass of pleasure, mind addled, unable to think straight. Not when he was making you feel so good. He slipped a second finger inside of you, his eyes flicking up to yours and you made it your life’s mission not to look away, chest heaving up and down as you squeezed around his digits. Your orgasm was building, pressure below getting harder to control – harder to ignore. Seokjin guessed it, breaking eye contact to bury his face further into your heat. The image was almost crude, so were the noises, but the most beautiful kind of crude. A crude that had you desperate for more. You jerked into him, rolling into each snap of his wrist, the pads of his fingers grazing your g-spot. 

“Want to make you cum,” he rasped, before sucking your clit back into his mouth and sucking determinedly. You groaned, head flinging back into the pillow, eyes clenched closed, a hand coming out to grip the roots of your hair as you rolled your hips into his face, giving into the pleasure well and truly. This orgasm was going to blow your brains out – and it did. 

In the end you had you to clamp your legs around Seokjin’s head in a bid to get him to stop, pleasure still rolling through your body as you panted like crazy. He eased from your clit, tongue dragging down your folds instead, meeting his fingers that were almost locked inside of your pulsing walls. With a grunt, he removed himself, kissing your mound one last time before he stopped. With his hands on your thighs as he kneeled between them, he watched you adoringly. 

“Oh, my god,” you panted weakly. Unsure what else you could say to describe what you’d just experienced. Why had he not been doing that from the get-go? From as soon as he’d reversed into your car?! 

That was all he needed anyway, your simple vocalisation, because no sooner had the words exited your mouth, he dived on you, kissing your mouth, your cheeks, your eyes, your forehead – whatever he could reach. “You’re amazing,” he gushed, his lips and chin still glistening with your wetness. You could taste yourself on him. It was glorious. His hands roamed your body like it was all new to him. As if he hadn’t been it for the last forty minutes or so. “Fuck. I can’t stop touching you.”

Your stomach flipped around, the sound of him cursing sending you dizzy. You licked into his mouth, kissing him messily, your hands raking up and down his back, before they settled on his ass. You gave the meat a squeeze and he grunted, pushing his crotch into yours. He was painfully hard – and desperate. (You hadn’t missed the way he’d been rutting into the mattress while going down on you…)

“Seokjin,” you breathed, moving your head to the side to get your words out. His tongue carried on going, swirling across your cheek. You liked getting messy with him. You tugged at his underwear. “Get naked. Need you.” 

“You don’t need a minute?” He asked, tongue now in your ear. He gyrated his hips into yours, grunting as he did so. 

You shook your head. “Like hell I do.” 

He laughed at that – breathlessly, but it was something. He moved, rushing out of the last bit of clothing he had on, and your eyes drunk up the sight. The missing piece. His dick was long and thick – smooth and warm once you got your hands on him. Hovering over you, you ran your fist up and down him steadily, just enjoying getting to touch him. He dropped to your side, pecking your lips before he pulled back.  “I need to be inside you.” 

You continued to touch him, running your fingers along the rigid flesh as he stretched behind him to pull a box from the nightstand drawer. 

It caught your attention right away. You raised both eyebrows as you let go of his length. “A hundred condoms?” 

He chuckled, sounding a little sheepish. “Too enthusiastic?”

“Do you want to kill me?” Death by (Dilf) dick wasn’t how you’d expected to go, if you were being honest. 

“Not particularly,” he shrugged, pulling one of the packet. (Discarding the box to the floor.) He turned back to you with an impish grin. “That’s why I bought the bumper pack of condoms.”

You rolled your eyes, pushing at his chest, but he grabbed your hand and kissed you, distracting you successfully. “No, if I’m being truthful,” he continued, letting you steal another kiss. “They were better value for money. I’m partial to a bargain.” 

“You’re unbelievable,” you scoffed. 

“You should’ve seen me purchasing them, I have never been more embarrassed in my life.” 

“Seokjin, you’re a near 40 year old man,” you judged openly, however on second thoughts – “But yeah, I’d be embarrassed buying a 100 condoms too.” 

Seokjin shuddered, looking mortified. “Just the thought of the cashier knowing I was going to get lucky…” 

You arched an eyebrow. “Get lucky?”

He looked comically caught out, eyes wide for a second before he shook his head. “Less talking now…” And then he was kissing you again…

Between rushed mouths and eager hands, he managed to tear the condom packet, pulling out the latex to slip it over his erection. Kneeling over you, you could see perfectly when he attempted to roll it the wrong way up.  “Oh, shit. Ignore that,” he muttered, fixing it immediately. 

You stifled a laugh. “Ignored.” 

He gave himself a tug, making sure everything was secure and your mouth practically watered. “Just warning you now, this may be a three pumps and Bam! kinda thing,” he informed you as he laid over you, pressing a kiss to your lips. “I am so turned on.”

You giggled, wrapping your arms around his middle. “I don’t mind. Just want you.” 

“I want you more.” He rubbed his nose against yours. 

Hitting his ass, you shot him a look. “It’s not a competition.” 

“Isn’t it?” He asked, pretending to be confused. 

“Quit stalling,” you whined. “Let’s have sex.” 

“Let’s,” he agreed with a warm smile. You turned gooey instantly. 

Pressing his knees to the mattress, he hovered over you, wrapping his hand around his dick to direct it between your legs. He rubbed the length up and down your slit, flesh heavy and hot, coating himself in your arousal. The sensation was good for you, but for him it seemed to blow his mind, eyes practically rolling back into his skull as he grunted. He stopped at your entrance, looking up at you as he slowly pushed the head inside. 

You shifted under him, trying to stay patient. You wanted nothing more than to be stuffed full of him, but realistically you needed to take things slow. You held onto his shoulders, silently telling him to continue. He let out a strained groan as he slipped in deeper, your walls snug and hot around him, begging him for more. Inch by glorious inch, you kept on taking him, until you were filled up just right. 

“Shit,” you uttered, looking up at the ceiling as you adjusted to the sensation. 

“Was that a curse?” He asked, voice tight but greatly amused as he nosed your throat. 

“Hardly.” Your voice was barely there, desperate for him to move. 

“I’d still class it as swearing.” He was holding his breath, yet still felt the need to be a smarty-pants. You moved your hips practically a centimetre and he grunted. He didn’t want you to win though. “I want more. Maybe not tonight, but I will turn your mouth filthy by the end of the week…”

A moan tore from your throat uncontrollably, and you couldn’t look at his face because you knew you’d be met with a gloating smirk. You steeled yourself, nose in the air. “Game on.” 

Seokjin laughed obnoxiously, but couldn’t wait any longer, slowly dragging out of you and then pushing back in. His breath hitched – so did yours, and he carried on, propping himself up with one hand as he gained a steady rhythm. 

“You feel so fucking good,” he moaned, watching your face. 

“You too.” You clung to him, feeling your face heat up and ended up dropping your gaze. 

“Honey, don’t be shy,” he whined, reaching to cup your face, in the process pressing more of his body weight into you. You clutched him tighter, wanting him as close as ever. “I like watching you. Knowing I’m making you feel good.” His mouth on yours now, you sunk into the kiss, moaning softly as his thrusts got quicker. You met each one, rolling into him. 

It wasn’t long before he was on your throat, kissing and nipping the skin, his hands exploring the rest of your body. Your ran your fingers through his hair, sighing sweety when his mouth wrapped around one of your nipples, slipping the hard flesh into his mouth to suck. 

Face pressed against your chest, his movements became a little erratic, breathing heavy until he was panting. You moaned along, loving how he was making you feel. “You are honestly the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.” He awed, voice raspy. 

You let out a weak chuckle, running your fingers through the ends of his hair. “Of course you would say that with a face full of my boobs.” 

He laughed too, kissing his way back up your chest, his hands pressing into the pillow as he leaned in for your mouth. You stared at one another for a little while, your moans mingling together, and it was the most intimate moment you’d ever shared with anyone. 

“Good?” He asked. You were unsure if he was asking how you were or if you were enjoying yourself, but regardless, the answer was the same. 

“Really good,” you smiled, running your hand down his chest. 

His thrust were getting messier, less controlled, less strategic, so it was no surprise when he had a confession to tell you, kissing you once again. “I’m-I’m… close.” 

He’d exceeded the predicted three pumps at least… “Hey, you can go a little harder,” you whispered against his mouth. 

He grunted, slacking at your words but quickly got a hold of himself. Each snap of his hips got firmer and harsher, fucking – because there was no other way to describe it – you into the expensive bed. Your cries of pleasure came out stunted and unsteady, his own grunts louder now, gruffer as he chased his end. 

“Seokjin –!” Your hands fell to his ass, holding him tight as he pounded into you. “Don’t stop,” you encouraged, which seemed to tip him over the edge – quickly. 

“Fuck. Coming…”” His face fell into the crook of your neck, panting as he tried to keep moving, and then he froze, his body hot, partly sweaty, a long drawn-out groan sounding against your ear as he came. 

You wrapped your arms around him, keeping him to you because in all honesty, you didn’t want to let him go. You could feel his heart beating against your chest rapidly, even after he’d partially caught his breath, and you knew yours was beating just as fast. You kissed his shoulder when he kissed yours, and slowly he lifted his head, turning to give you a drunken smile. He sighed contently. “That honestly beats any orgasm I’ve ever given myself lately.” 

“I should hope so!” You burst out laughing, not quite expecting those to be his first words and he immediately joined you before hugging you tight. 

.

.

You awoke naturally, light from outside peeking through the loosely closed drapes. Seokjin had his arm around you, his body curved into yours, and you could tell by his breathing he was still very much sound asleep. Proving your point, he grunted softly, rolling onto his back, his grip on you loosening. Carefully, you turned around to face him, taking in the sight of his sleeping form. His lips seemed to be pouted, eyebrows furrowed slightly – of course he had an adorable sleeping face. Of fricking course. 

The bed sheets were pushed down, draped across his pelvis, one hip sticking out, while his broad chest and toned stomach laid bare. You found yourself smiling, insanely happy, wondering if you’d been a saint in a past lifetime – you had to have been. How else had you hit the jackpot? A kind-hearted, beautiful man with a banging body? You’d struck big. 

Wanting to leave him sleep longer, you got up quietly, needing to pee, not worrying that you were butt naked, and as you left the bathroom, you moved to the closet (room) to fish for your phone in your purse. You’d left it there all evening yesterday, not wanting to be interrupted, and low and behold you had a bunch of notifications waiting for you on the screen. You got back into bed, getting comfy before you scrolled through them. Most were unimportant, news updates and social media notifications. You had a text from your mom reminding you to call your grandmother soon, one reminder regarding your phone bill going out tomorrow and then, from half an hour ago, a text message from your best friend. Why the hell was she up so early on a Sunday?! 

Soojung (8:32am) Spill the details girl! How was Mr. Dilf 🥵👨🏻🍆💦 

You snorted, pretty loudly, couldn’t help it, and when you realised you shoved a hand over your mouth, hoping you hadn’t woken your boyfriend (yes, it felt so good to finally use that word) up. You glanced over, but his eyes were still shut, a peaceful look on his face, so with a relieved inner sigh, you went back to your phone, wondering how you should reply. You had quite a lot to say, messaging her “the details” wouldn’t work. Maybe you could give her a summary? Until tomorrow when you could call her while Seokjin was at work. Maybe you could meet her for lunch. And who knew, you’d probably have more to tell her come then –

“Good morning, beautiful.” 

You jumped when you heard Seokjin’s voice, his arm wrapping around you once more as he snuggled closer, encasing you in his body warmth. 

“Seokjin,” you greeted, instantly shoving your phone onto the nightstand, face down. “Good morning.” 

“Mmm.” He rubbed his face into the crook of your neck, burrowing his arm under the covers to touch your skin, hand cupping your waist. He was still sleepy, voice groggy. You settled into his hold, closing your eyes. With a kiss to the top of your shoulder, he spoke again.  “What were you snorting at?”

Your eyes immediately flew open. He’d heard that? “Nothing,” you tried to reply casually. 

He laughed, the throaty sound shooting up your body, leaving warmth in its wake. “Come on, something made you laugh.” He lifted his head, looking at you pointedly, plump lips pressed together, mouth curving up slightly. “You have to share, it’ll be rude not to.” 

It took you a second to give in. “Fine.” It was probably time to let him know anyway. Soojung might try to kill you, but she couldn’t get you if you were gated in at Seokjin’s home…  You reached for your phone and flashed the screen on, holding it out to him. “Soojung’s an idiot,” you sighed. 

He delicately held the back of your hand, steadying the device so he could read the messages. A second later he was deeply amused, lips quirking before he let out a little laugh. “Has that been my nickname the entire time?” 

“Maybe…” Amongst other things… They could wait till later though. 

He hummed, trying to keep his expression casual, but you could tell by his eyes how amused (and smug) he was. “The emojis add a nice touch.” 

You rolled your eyes, about to tell him to shut up, but immediately his lips were pressed against yours. He kissed you sweetly – which was all just an act. When he pulled away, he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, tone arrogant. “So… how was Mr. Dilf?”

“Seokjin!” You exclaimed. This couldn’t be happening. He was just as bad as Soo and Taehyung. 

Laughing loudly, he kissed you again, caging you under him smoothly. Your hands reached for his biceps, feeling them flex underneath you. “Was it good enough for a round two? Don’t expect me to keep my hands off you,” he told you, his fingers tickling your stomach as his face fell to your neck, kissing and biting the skin. 

You began to laugh, squirming under him, but no matter how much you tried to free yourself it was impossible. “Stop,” you whined. “Seokjin, you’re tickling me!” He eased off with the tickling but his mouth only seemed to ramp up, his tongue licking up your throat. “You’re so sexy,” he groaned, meeting your gaze, and instantly laughed. “I love embarrassing you.” 

You grumbled, realising you’d started to blush. “I’m not embarrassed,” you insisted. “I’m turned on.” Two could play at that game. Seokjin’s eyes widened comically, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. 

“Yeah?” He murmured, getting a hold of himself, mouth ghosting over yours. You nodded, dragging your hands down his back to settle on his ass. You could feel his dick rousing between your thighs. It was so easy to get him. He was like putty in your hands. 

“You’re okay though, mm?” He asked, tone softening as he stared into your eyes. “Did you enjoy last night?”

“I thought that was obvious,” you informed him, but his tenderness didn’t go ignored. God, you were really lucky. “I feel so happy,” you grinned, moving to clasp your arms around his neck. He grinned too, teeth on show, and then you couldn’t hold off any longer, kissing him eagerly.  

“Fuck,” he breathed, after you’d just licked a strip up his jaw line. His hands clung to hips. “I want you in so many ways.” 

You gave him a dangerous smirk. “We have all week, I’m sure you’ll be successful.” 

Groaning, he seemed beside himself, skin hot and sweaty, his hair dishevelled, falling into his eyes, cheeks patched red. Finally, he settled on a decision. “Would you like to shower with me?”

“Okay,” you replied instantly, your excitement already tenfold, and suddenly you were in his arms, rising off the bed to be carried (naked) bridle style to the bathroom. “Seokjin!” You squealed, clinging onto him tightly, but all he did was laugh. You could get used to this. 

His walk-in shower was grand, practically a separate wet room – two glass doors leading inside and a marbled tiled bench to the left with two panelled windows behind it. There were two showerheads – one large one attached to the ceiling and the other jutting out from the wall. Seokjin chose the centre one, knocking it on and enclosing you both in hot water. Warmth radiated from beneath your feet too – heated flooring, of course. 

You spent the next ten minutes wrapped together kissing, hands exploring one another’s soapy bodies. It wasn’t long before there was a very obvious erection bobbing against your stomach. “Someone says hello again,” Seokjin hummed against your mouth, nipping your bottom lip before he broke away and chuckled. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’ve been the cause of many an awkward boner.” 

You laughed, hooking one arm around his neck. “I noticed.” Your other hand wrapped around his dick, the wetness of his skin making it easy to glide your fist along the veiny shaft. You gazed up at him, admiring the way he’d pushed his wet hair above his forehead. He looked incredibly handsome – so handsome, you were finding it hard to control yourself. “Was this one of your ways?” You murmured. 

“Maybe,” he said with a smile, huffing out a little when your thumb grazed the sensitive slit across the head of his member. 

“I have a better idea…” You whispered, pushing a little at his chest. “Sit.” 

He obeyed, sitting on the bench while watching you wordlessly (but curiously), his eyes flashing when you moved to kneel in front of him. “Fuck,” he muttered, dick twitching in anticipation. You took him in your fist again, feeling oddly confident as you flicked out your tongue. It had been a long time since you’d sucked dick but you were more than ready. 

You washed your tongue across the head, hearing him grunt above you, and encouraged, you took him in your mouth, sucking firmly around the tip. His hands instantly reached for your head, fingers carding through your hair. He groaned lowly, thighs tense, but when you started to jerk your fist along his shaft, he relaxed into the pleasure, murmuring your name. 

“Okay, this idea seems better than mine,” he admitted, voice tight. 

You hummed in agreement, vibrations travelling up his length which made him groan, fingers in your hair tightening. Taking him deeper, you washed and swirled your tongue as best you could around the thick flesh. Seokjin’s length was impressive, but you had all week to grow accustomed to it, for now, you had your hand, continuing to stimulate him with both that and your mouth. The water from the shower hit your back and calves, the heat beneath you making sure you didn’t grow cold. 

“Should we go back to the bedroom?” Seokjin asked, sounding concerned, despite how good you were making him feel. A hand ran down your back soothingly. “Your knees will start aching.” 

Pulling off him, a string of saliva that attached you breaking apart, you shook your head and ran your palm all the way up his length, twisting against the tip. He bucked into your hold. “It’ll be worth it.” 

Seokjin let out a low growl, eyes dark. “Don’t say things like that.” 

You smirked, spreading your saliva up and down him slowly before speeding up, concentrating on the head. Seokjin’s mouth was open, his breathing shallow, chest littered with red blotches, making it painfully obvious how aroused he was. You wanted to run your hands all over the muscular torso, mouth too – but that could wait. First of all, you wanted to make him cum. 

“You have a pretty big dick. Has anyone ever told you that?” You purred, eyes flicking down to his crotch. 

Seokjin grinned confidently, the hand in his hair reaching to cup your cheek. “You seemed to handle it very well last night.” 

Oh. Heat exploded through your body, settling between your legs, and you took him back in your mouth, a hiss leaving his throat. He tapped your chin, gaining your attention. “Y/N, look at me,” he commanded softly. 

And you did. You watched every bit of pleasure that flitted across his face as you continued to suck his dick, never breaking eye contact, even when he did; eyelids closed, face scrunched up as he came down your throat a few minutes later…

Written 2020 - 2021. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021

[tethered-heartstrings]

Hiyaa, im curious about a something regardin episode "Dolce". If ever you've already had a similar question to this or have answered this question, please just redirect me to that post and im more than haooy to read it! Im new to this fandom, i literally just discovered hannibal and watched all seasons of it in one sitting because of a fanfiction of them (hannigram) i hyperfixated on ff before watching the actual show and i have a rough idealized version of hannigram before watching the show. A major part of that is will being hannibal's only exception in terms of murder to eventually cannibalism. I expected gaslighting, manipulation, everything but actually killing will. i dont know why it took me this long to actually find answer to the question thats been bugging my mind since ive finished the show maybe because i figured some ff will delve into this topic but nope so far they have not and that's why im here. You probably guessed what scene it is already but its the scene where hannibal literally but a sawing machine through will's skull in an attempt to kill him. I wanted to know what you think of that scene and your interpretation on why hannibal was willing to kill will despite already professing his love and have a generally good vibes reunion in the museum. I think hannibal's was just bitter at will because of the whole betrayal thing but i still didn't expect the killing will after all that. So this whole scene was just very confusing for me, magbe its because i have not enough braincells to math the math here.

There is a lot to unpack so hopefully I am able to hit all your inquiry points.

For one, Hannibal had not confessed his love to Will. He accepted the fact what he was feeling was truly love. It is a very different kind of love than what he had for his sister Mischa (obviously - familial vs romantic), but it was still love. And arguably, the only person he has truly loved since Mischa was Will. When he lost Mischa, Hannibal ate her. He loved her. What do you do to someone you love? You eat them. This was prompted by Bedelia, but I do think they saw it in very different ways. Bedelia saw the violence of it, and Hannibal saw the tenderness. Now, Hannibal did not lose Will as he lost Mischa; Will was still alive. But in a way, Will was still lost to him. Will had betrayed Hannibal, and Will was not next to him on the plane to Italy as he should have been. In a way, if Hannibal killed him, then he could control the permanent loss of Will and cannibalize him in the same act. He lost Mischa tragically, she was taken from him. But if Hannibal did the taking, then the loss might not hurt or linger quite as much. Hannibal likes to be in control. Also there is a bit “if I can’t have you, no one else can” and “I can be the only one to kill you” mentality. Killing Will would prevent any more betrayal, and Hannibal could do so in a way that best suited him and his future memories. Will would not be torn away but incorporated. 

Which brings me to the point of: why eat him at all? Cannibalism is a form of love. We see Hannibal also kill and eat people who are rude, but there is a difference. It is all about the intent. In a way, Hannibal doesn’t see the latter as cannibalism, because cannibalism requires the consumer and the meal to have been equals in life. Hannibal sees his victim as pigs, as livestock, best put to something useful such as food. But, Hannibal also consumes out of love. We see that with Mischa and we see an attempt of that with Will. Imagine incorporating someone you love into you? Their flesh, their life, becoming fuel for you. Their fats and proteins and carbohydrates broken down to give you ATP, energy for the next day? You can cook the, with care, one last gesture of tenderness. To make them into their favorite meal. You cannot be as physically close to someone as you are after eating them. They literally become a part of you. Eating Will would be the most honored meal Hannibal could have. He would not share it with anything. He would use every last piece he could. Savoring and remembering Will with every movement of his jaw, every swallow.

As far as the good vibes at Uffizi, there is a lot to unpack in that scene. It was a reunion and a final goodbye. Will went to to meet him there with a knife in his coat; he had plans to kill him before he even entered the building. He had plans to kill him back in Lithuania. he got shoved off a train because violence is what he knows. He still chose violence. At the same time, Hannibal had planned on eating him before then, too. They both had plans to end the other. So the feeling was gentle, like a calm before the storm. But it would not stay that way. It couldn’t. Hannibal got the upperhand, so his plan was initiated.

I made a post about why Hannibal chose his brain. But, Hannibal had spent so much of his time getting to know Will, figuratively dissecting his brain to get at the very core of him. It’s poetic to decide to eat his brain first. It’s the part that is the essence of who Will is. Every nerve connection makes up the personality and morals and memories of a person. The entirety of a person encased within the skull. The control for every movement and choice and action. Sure, Hannibal left his marks on Will’s body, but he left an impression in his mind, too. Hannibal lived in there and always would. He did not hear Will say they were blurred when he made the decision to eat his brain (I believe this was made before the Uffizi scene), but it’s a concept he already knew. Also, once you get past the skin and bone, the brain itself does not feel pain. It’s also one single organ you can eat piece by piece, deciding what functions to keep for the rest of the body, and really control how long they stay alive (to a point, sometimes biology just quits). Will tried to cut Hannibal from his life, so maybe Hannibal was cutting himself out for Will. Or maybe it’s because he is a psychiatrist and it’s fitting. He stopped being an ER surgeon to become a psychiatrist because he no longer needed to worry about his patients dying on him, and now he was implementing both professions. Or maybe it was symbolism for prion disease that lives within the brain. A small, misfolded, naughty little protein that takes over and causes madness; and diseases often associated with cannibalism. Will got inside him too, changing him as much as he changed Will. Something seemingly so simple yet so dangerous and complex.

[crossovereddie]

Actually, here is an alternative thing for you to occupy your time with, and a question I have been meaning to ask you for a while. I have finished 911 finally! So I'm ready for the new season. And I wonder, realistically, what do you think the roadmap would be for a buddie endgame?

I absolutely see how their story has been framed and filmed in a lot of parallels to how a romantic storyline would be set out. But there has been no outright mention of either of them being bi - although the conversation about Maddy setting Buck up with whassisface was very casual and could very easily have been an example of canonically bi Buck - and they are both at the end of season 4 in 'relationships' with women.

So, in your estimation, what's the timeline? What's the transition? How do they go about this and how long does it take? I wanna know your thoughts 👀

okay yes i have lots of thoughts on this and it's actually one of my fave questions i get asked. I've always watched a lot of tv shows so I'm just estimating on what I've seen before and what I would personally do. IMO this love story is a slow burn. We only have four seasons so far and only three of those seasons have Eddie in them. This unsurprisingly got long so ill put it under the cut.

So I'll go by seasons bc to me its important to look at everything that has happened so far by seasons and by love interests and not as a whole. Its the best way i can form a timeline that I think would make the most sense and why

S1: So we don't get any hints at Buck being anything other than straight and I think this is because he was supposed to be. They hadn't planned for Eddie yet and they definitely hadn't planned for the chemistry Oliver and Ryan were gonna have. S1 Buck was this reckless kid who didn't take anything serious. He was definitely super immature. Then he meets Abby and he starts to get serious about his job and his love life. I'm not gonna say "Abby changed him" because she didnt. He saw the person he was and the person he was becoming and decided on that change himself.

S2: Eddie!!!! So we get introduced to this army medic turned firefighter in the least heterosexual way. Then Buck is angry because Eddie is hot and really good at his job. they work together and Eddie compliments Buck and now they're smiley bffs. Seriously wtf was all that? Anyway this is all sus bc from what ive seen before in other shows when a main love interest leaves and a new main character replaces them, that means something. JLH replaced Connie Britton as far as big name actress but i really believe Eddie replaced Abby as far as importance in Buck's life. Do i think they brought him in with the intentions of turning him into a LI? No but they sure fueled the narrative from the get go. I think they saw fans reactions and started testing the waters.

Moving on to LIs in this season. We find out Eddie has a kid and the mother is not in the picture (eddie made sure buck knew that right away). Then later on we find out he's technically still married. shannon comes back and we get Eddie finally getting to confront this head on. He tries to get his family back together for the sake of his son. Its big for Eddie's character bc all he does and all he's ever done is for his son. Then Shannon asks for a divorce then she dies bringing this arc to an abrupt end and leaving eddie heartbroken.

meanwhile Buck is still waiting for Abby. Then he finally accepts that shes not coming back and decides to move on. He goes right back to being "Buck 1.0" with Taylor and feels bad about himself because that really isnt him anymore. He wants a real relationship. So then Ali calls and asks him on an actual date and he agrees. This is his first try at a relationship after a heartbreak. in tv these don't usually work out but are used to develop the main character's growth. We don't really see much of her but she breaks up with him so.

S3: This is Eddie finally dealing with his feelings/guilt season. This is also the season I think we really see how important Buck is to the Diaz boys. S2 had cute buckley-diaz family moments but those could still be interpreted as a best friend and his best friend's kid. This season though... after the tsunamic episode was when i really started to fully believe buddie was going canon. This season is solidifying their bond not only as Buck and Eddie but as Buck Eddie and Christpher. As I'm writing this I realized neither of them really has a love interest in this season do they? Ana is introduced but then is clearly presented as definitely NOT the right choice for eddie and especially for Chris. Then they counter that with Buck helping Eddie build a skateboard for Chris that he can use as opposed to Ana's ablest remarks about how he can't do it so just move on to something else. Then we get Buck's reaction in Eddie Begins. Buck has seen his team his friends his family get hurt on the job before but he has never reacted the way he did when it was Eddie in danger. Again solidifying just how much these two mean to each other. Don't even get me started on this season being when Eddie changes his will offscreen. Anyway we get Abby back and Buck finally gets the closure from that relationship that he needs to move forward into a serious relationship.

Now S4: jfc s4....IMO this is the only logical season to get the ball rolling on Buddie and they sure did that with 4x14 despite everything else. So i never thought they would be the first serious relationship for each other after the heart break theyve both experienced. It wouldn't be fair to their character developments. Buck tries dating Veronica and that clearly doesnt work but we know hes now open to dating again. We get Buck Begins where we see why Buck is the dare devil he is. The only way he got his parents attention as a kid was to put himself in danger. They bring back taylor and how to they ultimately get together after she friendzones him? She thinks hes in danger and suddenly wants him. As much as i hate it this is really gonna be a relationship where Buck finally stands up for himself and sees his own worth and realizes he deserves more. He deserves someone who sees him and loves him for who he is. He deserves to be chosen, something Abby Ali his parents dont do and what i think taylor wont end up doing. I feel like shes gonna choose her career over him. Maybe not in a "I'm breaking up with you" way but maybe she takes a new job and want to do LD (hes tried that twice and it didnt work for him. hes not gonna want that) or she could ask him to go with her but he wont. His family is in LA. His job is in LA. Eddie and Chris are in LA and he won't leave them. Then we have Eddie finally deciding to move on and try dating again so they bring back ana. To me it's not gonna work out so I'm not bothered at all lmao. It's interesting that they'd choose her though. Someone we already know Eddie doesn't trust with his son. There's also more buckley-diaz family scenes of them being coparents. The hildy episode, Chris running to Buck when hes mad at eddie, Buck being the one to tell Chris Eddie got hurt, then Buck staying with Chris and taking on the guardian role without him even knowing just how much that role really does belong to him. He didn't do it out of obligation. He didn't do it because he was asked to. He did it because he thought it would be best for Chris. Finally to 4x14. This is by far the biggest "Oh shit this is it. This is the beginning of buddie". We find out Eddie changed his will a year ago and has just been sitting on this info. I think Eddie knew back then what it meant but he wasn't in the right mindset to accept what it means so he kept it to himself. I think he finally started allowing himself to go there during treasure hunt. The man was jealous yall. Carla coming back and her comment about doing whats best for him and not chris is his oh shit moment. I think he wouldve broken up with Ana a few days after that if he had the time lol. He gets caught up in the mother/son sl then this poor mf gets shot by a sniper. The way that whole scene was filmed btw was not in a bff way. That was a lover watching his beloved almost die in front of him. Buck again puts himself down and Eddie decides this is the moment. He needs Buck to see how important he is. He wants buck to know how loved he is. So he sits there talking himself up to it and finally lets Buck know just how big of a part he is in Eddie's family. Buck's previous scene is him saying he wants someone who wants him back then here is Eddie saying he needs him...Chris needs him. wtf.

So with S5: I think Eddie knows and Buck has a feeling but he's not sure so what i would do is spend s5 with Eddie basically showing Buck his feelings but not exactly getting in the way of Buck's new relationship because Buck has to be the one to make that choice. Id also have chris feeling the different shift with buck having a gf like he did with Eddie. This newfound info wasnt just dropped on us for a "Aww so sweet" moment. This will business is gonna be a part of a bigger storyline. I'm hoping its with Eddie's family during maybe 5b.

So what I think would be the best timeline for canon buddie is 5a eddie already having either broken up with ana or is gonna break up with her, Buck choosing himself and ending things with Taylor by midseason finale, them bringing in Eddie's family in 5b and maybe then being when Eddie confesses his feelings for Buck. Then 6a we could get them walking on egg shells around each other not really knowing what to do bc this is all so new for both of them. This could bring just the right amount of comedy and angst especially them awkward and flustered around each other at work. A big blowup can happen between them for added angst (maybe an arguement before one of them or both of them is put in danger) then a midseason finale kiss. Then trying to find the balance between their personal relationship and their work relationship during 6b.

I don't know how long Fox shows last but procedurals can last a long time. I'm not sure thats gonna be the case for 911 especially with all the main cast staying that long so i think this would give us at least a whole season (S7) of canon buddie.

As far as then being presented as straight, there's been more seeds planted about buck being bi. A few i can remember off the top of my head: all of 2x1 lmao, maddie's comment about bucks boy crush on eddie, buck hinting at thinking eddie is cute when he thinks maddie is talking about him, the christmas elf, the comments on the instagram livestream, idk if youve watched it or not but TK's comment to Buck in the crossover episode, and like you mentioned Maddie's casual comment about setting him up with Josh. All we really know about Eddie's love life is he married Shannon when they were young and is trying with Ana so it could turn into a whole storyline for him.

I'm so sorry this is so long and took forever but i I hope i actually answered your question and didnt just get lost in rambles lmao.

[inventedfangirling]

Thai QL Favorites Tag Game

Tagged by @telomeke ! I was surprised when i saw the notification pop up but yaay I loved reading your answers and I'm very excited to try this out too. Thanks for tagging me🤗

Credit to the creator of this game @thatgirl4815 of the Thai BL Favorites Tag Game.

Fair warning, almost the entirety of this is going to be filled with Bad Buddy related responses and it's gonne be the opposite of concise *SURPRISE* so yes lezgo...

Favorite Thai QL: Bad Buddy. It was the second thai QL i have ever watched and THE ONLY reason i decided to actually consume more of thai QL content cos this show moved me in a way nothing i had ever seen until then had. It was queer, it was asian, it intentionally subverted so many tropes i hated, gave us inkpa AND patpran-one of the most beautiful and respectful love stories ive ever seen that culminated in an ending that is as happy as it is realistic and i am still in awe of p'aof and ohmnanon and the gem they made. But also. Just for episode 5. Perfection. Also, Episode 7 my beloved. And Episode 11 the love of my life. Bad Buddy you will always be my favourite <3

Favorite Pairing: OhmNanon -> PatPran ofc! I've never seen the appeal of childhood friends to lovers until i saw Patpran's childhood frenemies to adult frenemies to friends to lovers. Just the most organic growth of a bond whose seeds were sown even before they were born. But most importantly once they grew up and were confronted with obstacles and realities, they chose to love eo and kept on choosing eo. Their love, their regard for eo, the way they cared for eo, it's all so very precious and i just won't ever love a romantic pairing the way i do patpran, and it's half because of just how brilliant ohmnanon's chemistry worked, they are EVERYTHING to me.

I also LOVE First & Khaotung's chemistry. Great Stuff. Also Net & James.

Most underrated actor: I don't know if i have watched enough shows to comment on this since the actors i mention might actually be well appreciated and not strictly underrated but yes Fluke Gawin Caskey is on my list too. I feel that his drop dead gorgeous looks have somehow made his real acting chops appear like an afterthought when in reality it so isn't. Kinda have similar feelings about Net from Bed Friend as well.

I loved LOVE from bad buddy, and i can't wait to see her in 23.5 with Milk. Suar from You're My Sky & La Pluie, and Title also from La Pluie, War from Love Mechanics, First & Khaotung from Eclipse (i know they are well loved but still!) i REALLY enjoyed their performances.

Favorite Character: Pran Parakul my beloved. Pran is in so many ways so similar to me i immediately took a liking to him. I don't know how much my love for Pran is inextricably tied to how Nanon played the part but the pining and the love that was just on display but hidden oh so beautifully, my heart hadnt ached for a character in a romance story in so long. And then the love is reciprocated and then instead of the character doing a full 180 and being unrealistically happy we see him struggle to adjust, we see him learn and grow and finally accept the love he had been wanting all along, and along the way learning to be a better partner too, more gushing on pran here, cos i'm incorrigible.

Favorite Side Character: Pa from Bad Buddy. I love love love Pa and Pat's bond. I love how Pa is like Pat's compass pointing him in the right direction (more often than not) and Pat listens and actually follows up on what she says. And also "men are so boring, and are all men delusional like you" NO ONE DOES IT LIKE PA I SAY. Special mention to Ink & her "It's so gainful".

Also Tee from Gap The Series, Palm's mom from Never Let Me Go, the uncles from My Ride (they remind me of Patpran with all their bickering ahhh), Tien & Bow from La Pluie, Pharm & Manow from Between Us, Pear from Be My Favorite. Oh also everybody in Cher's friendgroup from A Boss and a Babe.

Favorite scene in a QL: I'm gonna cheat cos there is no way i can pick one, so here's 5, all from Bad Buddy: ep 5 rooftop Kiss, that whole scene in ep 7 where pat shows up as Riam and saves the play, the balcony phone call scene ep 8, ep 11 the scene that starts with Pat thanking Pran for "trying to make a silly guy like me happy" and also the scene where Pran follows "i wrote this song for him" up with singing the beautiful song that was "our song" SOBBBS.

But also Thun's coming out scene in He's Coming to Me is so so very special to me.

Okay maybe that's more than 5, but i already said i'd cheat so :333

Favorite line in a QL: So many lines from Bad Buddy I could just go on and on under this prompt BUT okay i'll be good this time if i had to pick one just rn then - "Together, we’ve been through a lot. We’ve experienced wonderful times a lot. We’ve had awful times a lot. We’ve looked out for each other a lot. We’ve been concerned about each other a lot. We’ve been thinking about each other a lot and we’ve been happier, a lot." will just have to be the winner. What a crown worthy answer, my baby Pran is right as usual.

Most Anticipated QL (& why): 23.5 degrees. GMMTV finally releasing a GL show after years and years of BL content. And also MilkLove together after Bad Buddy & INKPA NEED I SAY MORE!?!?

But also "Last Twilight" cos i cant wait to see what P'aof's been cooking.

Healthiest relationship in a QL: Patpran, again xD. This is extra special because they had all the obstacles that could have made this such a toxic relationship and yet they focused on respect and consent and healthy communication and caring for each other and understanding each other and becoming better versions of themselves because of and with each other and the prominent way consent is emphasized in all their intimate moments, it's just EVERYTHING to me.

Also Mork & Tawan from My Ride. Rarely do we get to see such an equally contributive and reciprocal and healthy relationship. It was a pleasure to watch.

Most toxic relationship in a QL: Maybe VeeMark from Love Mechanics. They were cute and shiz but just way too much back and forth and miscommunication just NO.

Guilty pleasure series: Bed Friend

Most underrated series: My Ride, He's Coming to Me, You're My Sky

Tagging @sharingfandoms, @aroceu, @thecriers, @midnightfreeway, @lovelyghostv, @fiercynn, @thegayneurodivergentagenda and whoever else who wants to try this, no compulsion &lt;3

[hmslusitania]

I see we're going ape over buddie and Choices tonight so

Yknow in 2.07, when Shannon comes back and her and Eddie have their first scene together? The argument at the end, after Eddie says it wouldn't be a good idea for her to see Christopher bc she left them, she says she needed him, she needed a husband and a co-parent - and "I needed someone to have my back!"

To which EDDIE says, "I always had your back"

*insert Incredibles "coincidence? I think NOT" gif here*

(Also side note, I do like that the show doesn't try to sugarcoat what Shannon did being messed up, and that Eddie's own actions weren't really the right thing either[thinking about his conversation with Buck where he says he got to pretend he left for a noble cause even tho he was running], and that it was just a sticky situation that neither of them were equipped to handle in any way, and snowballed. I do kind of wish we could've gotten post-divorce Shannon and Eddie and Christopher interactions, figuring out how they fit together, if at all, bc I like those intricate and messy situations but I could see how that might get too close to retreading old ground re: Michael and Athena's divorce. But I do hate how ive seen the fandom like. Seem to oversimplify things with Shannon sometimes? And make her the ultimate villain, and Eddie Did Nothing Wrong, Ever)

Hi Anon!

The decision to have Buck and Eddie's first bonding moment end with "You can have my back any day" and "or, y'know, you could have mine" only to then six episodes later find out that at least a contributing factor to Eddie's marriage dissolving was that he "didn't have her back" is like. Such a galaxy brain chaos move for them to take, honestly. Like?? They could've had the phrasing be literally anything in 2x07 but instead they had it directly echo Buck and Eddie in 2x01. What was the reason? Why did they do this?

As for the rest of your ask:

(gosh this got long and, uh, opinionated. It is Not Pretty below the cut)

One of the things I really liked about Eddie Begins is that we did get to see him at the beginning of his journey in being Chris's dad because it gives us an opportunity to appreciate how amazingly he's grown as a father. Like, he didn't start out as a perfect dad and he was definitely kind of lost in the woods at the beginning there when it came to the whole "how do I parent" thing. And before Eddie Begins, we'd only ever seen the end result of the growth he's gone through, where he really is a fantastic dad whose son is basically his entire reason for being. Before Eddie Begins, we get to hear him say things like "I left first" and "I've failed that kid more times than I can count but I love him enough to never stop trying" but we kinda have to take that on faith? Because we hadn't actually seen him be anything besides a good dad until we saw his Begins episode. (And even then in his begins it's like "area man in his early 20s unsure how to care for small child while also coping with PTSD and a toxic support system" which like. yeah. no shit. there's one hell of a learning curve there)

The thing about Eddie and Shannon as a couple and as parents that always gets to me is that they were so fucking young. We don't know exactly how old Eddie is in the show, but we can guesstimate pretty safely that he's around the same age as Ryan which would make him between 23 and 24 when Chris was born, and it seems reasonable to believe Shannon was around the same age. It's also a pretty common reading in the fandom -- although I'm not sure how much canon support there is for it because we really, really don't know anything about their relationship pre-Christopher unless I'm forgetting something -- that they got married because Shannon got pregnant and that was the Done Thing. And when you're 23-24, baby on the way, freshly married, that is just like. So much. It sure as hell ruined my parents' relationship when they did that exact thing, and then they disliked each other until they were 27 and then they got divorced, and no one was happier than me about it, I have to tell you.

Back to the show, I can only give you my impressions, obviously, but the impression I have always gotten from the whole "I left too" conversation and the context that goes into it and the different behaviours we see exhibited by the characters is that Eddie "left" first and it comes across to me that he was basically an early twenty-something kid running scared from the abstract concept of being a father in general, and then when he was forced home by an honourable discharge, and was confronted with the reality of Christopher, he managed to step the fuck up and become Christopher's dad. It's there in 2x02, right? "Oh, you've got a kid? I love kids!" "I love this one." Eddie doesn't strike me as a Swiss Army Knife all-purpose Dad(tm) the way Bobby is. Eddie is Christopher's dad. (and like, of course, he's obviously moved by kids when he's on a call, we've seen that enough times to know that if there's a child who can even glancingly remind him of Christopher, Eddie's sense of self-preservation goes out the window, and I love that about him as heart-stopping as it can be in practice)

Shannon, on the other hand, didn't run from the idea of being a mother -- at first. When she left, it wasn't from the abstract. She left Chris (and "gave up" on Eddie, thanks Helena). She was not running from a concept, she was running from a reality. I think Shannon is a fascinating character to include in a television show as a side character, because she really isn't a one note character. Like, she was unarguably a bad mother, and from what we saw, she was a questionable romantic partner to have (but as you said, anon, Eddie was also not 100% the best romantic partner when he was with Shannon either; their entire relationship so far as I can tell was built on sexual chemistry which, uh, super does not sustain a relationship), but she also seems to have been a devoted daughter? I mean, yeah, it's entirely possible that her mom being sick was a convenient excuse to bail -- and obviously she didn't come back after her mom died, and didn't, y'know, contact her son or husband in the interim, so yes, I can see that being a valid way to read the situation. I don't think she's the Ultimate Evil, because she strikes me as a very human character in all the ways that people are more often than not really fucking flawed.

But then we get back to the actual break-up scene. The first time I watched it (and second, and third; then the fourth time the person I was watching with was like "I mean, sure, but it could also be read in this light") her "I'm just learning how to be someone's mother" speech really bothered me? Partly because it was the abstraction of it, right? Eddie doesn't like kids, he likes Christopher, and Shannon sort of had the inverse journey there, I guess, where it went from she didn't know how to be Christopher's mother, to she didn't know how to be a mother. And that speech bothered me because it always sounded to me like she was bailing again. She begged Eddie to let her back into Christopher's life (guilt? I guess?) and like, straight up bribed him with sex which was sure a choice, and then decides -- for a second time -- that she's out. It sounded, to me, she was handing Eddie papers and maybe, in a few years, possibly, once she'd had "time" to "figure out how to be someone's mother" she would try again. Just like she had in the interim between leaving when Christopher was little and the time of season 2.

And like, that could totally be a misunderstanding of the scene and what she was saying. It's what I took away from it, but that could very well be influenced by the fact I was raised by divorced parents and my dad had custody and if you count up all the time I spent with either parent when I was a minor, I was predominantly raised by my father and have had an especially tempestuous relationship with my mother that is mostly (sometimes) repaired now that I'm in my late twenties and have not lived with her since I was sixteen.

Back to the show, and to your comment that the fandom tends to treat Shannon like the Ultimate Evil and act like Eddie Did Nothing Wrong, I mean. Yeah. Fandom as a rule tends to shirk nuance. We're all fools here on the internet sitting in our blue industrial waste container crying about a wee woo show. I personally believe a more nuanced take on that might be that Eddie has shown a great capacity to learn from his mistakes (sometimes to make fun, shiny, new ones, but for the most part, just like ends up doing better the next time) and Shannon did not show that capacity in the time we knew her.

I think, depending on what they did with it, there was potential for an interesting storyline if they'd played through the divorce. I don't think it would've been rehashing ground covered by Michael and Athena's divorce because I can't see Eddie and Shannon having reached a point of amicability and friendship. The only thing we know they had in common was Christopher, and frankly, when you boil it down, the ways they engaged with Christopher as a person were so disparate that -- to me -- it really didn't seem like they had Christopher in common when you get right down to it. But I wouldn't have wanted to see Christopher and Eddie dragged through an ugly divorce process. They deserve better than that.

There's also a conversation to be had about Shannon's blatant ableism towards her own son, but that is extremely not my lane since I am not disabled myself. But even from an outside perspective, basically their entire parking lot conversation in Haunted, uh, haunts me with it's repugnance and the fact that instead of calling her on any of it, Eddie "Chronically touch starved" Diaz's response was to kiss her? Gosh golly do I wish that was one of the mistakes he learned from properly instead of finding a new, shiny version.

ANYWAY this got long, tl;dr (although if you clicked on the read more, you probably read it) version is No, Shannon is not the Ultimate Evil, she's a shitty mom not a demon in a skin suit and a pretty yellow sundress; and No, Eddie is not a flawless human who's never done wrong in his life but holy fuck is he trying and he'd be the first person to tell you he's made mistakes (and often has been); and no, sorry, I don't want to see the divorce storyline play out because we probably would've had to see either Eddie Bashing, Shannon Redemption, or Shannon turning up again like a cardboard cut out of a cartoon villain the way Eva did and I want to be witness to exactly zero of those things.