#also okay to message
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personal sperm donor soap x reader because IVF is expensive (craigslist ad. everyone else thought it some FBI scheme but you just want to start a family minus the male relationship) thank you but once the dick appt comes, it turns into ghoap cuz johnny just had to bring his boyfriend to donate sperm too. higher chance of a baby
#make it extra gross with simon shooting certified blanks#he got a vasectomy when he was still a private lol#but you don't know that#soooooo let's try for that baby yes??#also soap got super fucking lucky the ad was real#he definitely believes hot 60 milfs around his area wanna fuck and are sending him a message lolol#he's a genius at work okay he's allowed to have nothing but air whistling in his head when with his scary dog boyfriend
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Hey
is solar lunacy discontinued?
Nah I just stopped sharing the chapters publicly because people were being weirdly hostile about my update schedule, so rn the only people who's seen the updates is myself plus one other person. I'll prob continue to wait to share the writing tbh until I feel like its chilled out more
#so same thing that happened with ceatpeotw and the j/eremike collection and my old fnaf au if anyone remembers that#i still have the chapters just sitting there#i think my dst aus and fics were the only ones that i didnt recieve weird messages for updates for#and i think back on those series fondly#still would like to continue it#also its perfectly 100% okay to send me asks about iz or sl or dst stuff btw just because i am not updating the fic#does not mean i dont still have a love for it sdhgsldg
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Never gonna live that down.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan jingyi#jin ling#Surprise comic for today because this was cut from the previous comic.#And I'm so close to finishing season 2! I want to post my final comics and celebrate!#I imagine they (the juniors) hold the stabbing incident over Jin Ling's head for years. Akin to a funny typo in the group chat.#The stabbing is his Grink. Every time JL and WWX are seen interacting someone makes a teasing remark.#“I'm going to go ask Wei Wuxian what he thinks about our night hunt plans.” “Okay! Don't stab him ^-^.”#I also imagine WWX eventually leaning into it. A little bit of teasing to let it be known that there are no hard feelings.#LWJ (the funniest guy ever) would bide his time. Waiting for it to die down.#Then launch devastating blow as he joins in with “Wei Ying is in the courtyard. Please refrain from stabbing him today.”#Modern AU juniors would be brutal with the group chat lore. The pinned messages is a hall of fame and a hall of shame.#Nothing is forgotten. Nothing is sacred.#And poor jin ling is too reactionary. He is the ideal target because he flusters in a funny way.#I (the punchline friend) know my role well. I have been at the epicenter of many memorable typos and on-going bits.#You have to embrace it. Reverse it on them. Wield it as your power. Edit your messages to INCLUDE the typo.#(Fellow punchlines; I would *love* to hear your stories. Your jestery burdens. Your infamous typos. This is a safe space.)
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Cdiverse i love u unironically
#tloz#princess zelda#link#cdi zelda#faces of evil#wand of gamelon#art#my art#redesign#loz redesigns round 2#i cant explain the airpl-ine! bit you just have to understand the vibe#i had to decide between the crop top and the mini skirt and the mini skirt won out#but i added magic cloak so the cuntiness equals out#i am still counting the third cdi game as seperate but that one is wildly unfinished because i cant get their posing okay#also yes this is the link i refered to as gayer than a court jester in my discord message post from last year and i will not apologize#i mean look at him#if anybody has zeldas official royal dress in their closet its him
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tumblr when mental illness makes you withdraw from company: nobody has the right to expect anything of you! take care of yourself! if they don't forgive you and act like nothing happened when you come back into the world, it's on them, not you! it's so very kind of you if you deign to try and overcome this for the sake of those annoying, awful people, but you don't have to if you don't want to! poor lamb!
tumblr when mental illness makes you need reassurance that people don't hate you: you should work on that. you should learn to compromise. expecting anyone on the other side to expend even a little bit of effort to help you is selfish and horrible. maybe just die actually
(NOTE: THE POINT HERE IS THAT BOTH SIDES DESERVE A DEGREE OF GRACE FROM OTHERS AND BOTH SIDES SHOULD WORK ON THEIR ISSUES. I hate that I have to explain it, but this is the Piss on the Poor website, so...)
#mental illness#no people are not entitled to instant responses every time you're online! that is true!#but people are also not entitled to consequence-free extended periods of straight-up ignoring their friends#if I have to understand that you're dealing with something (and I will!) you should at least try to understand that I am too#I just saw this post that was like 'okay well could you quickly tell me if I message you and you don't feel up to talking then?'#and the response was 'UM NO THAT'S STILL DRAINING AND YOU NEED TO EXAMINE WHY YOU FEEL ENTITLED TO IT'#like holy shit. shot down a suggestion of compromise immediately there#so basically a 'you do Lots of Work and I do Zero Work on this problem' situation. got it
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The audience is 100% me :]
Left Sonic's design is from me and @cherbearsz's murder drones au Right Sonic's deisgn is from @eloaholiveira's murder drones au
MDAU Masterlist
Separate images under the cut
#starrway art#sonic#sonic fanart#sonic au#murder drones#sonic murder drones au#sonic md au#mdau#sonic the hedgehog#OKAY ELOAH I AM SO SERIOUS WHEN I SAY ID BE 100% DOWN TO TALK ABOUT OUR AUS SKDJFHSF#I am so so so intrigued by your placements so far and also we would both have placed Rouge as Lizzy hehehe#maybe if you don't read the tags I will just have to like take a leap of faith and idk like... message you about our aus
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I can't rewrite this season but if it was up to me, I'd still have the Umbrellas sacrificing themselves to save the timeline and at the end we see the Umbrellas still alive, but they're all living different lives and perhaps with varied ages to show that its not their existence that caused the timeline to get fucked up, but the marigold that started everything.
The Umbrellas were always meant to exist and live, but it was the marigold that caused the timeline getting muddled and disrupted their existence. Without it, the Umbrellas (and every other kids that were created by the marigold) were able to be born and live their lifes normally like they were always meant to.
Would it still have a lot of plotholes? Yes. Would it make sense? Perhaps not but at least its better than what they implied with the ending which is very upsetting and dangerous the longer you think about it.
#the umbrella academy#it was so weird because they had two scenes with abigail blatantly stating how it was her creating marigold that started all this problem#so why did the show say#with no argument#that it was the umbrellas fault???#it made no sense. what is it about them specifically that keeps causing things to be fucked up#they're dysfunctional? okay yeah so would anyone if they're raised by reginald hargreeves#that would imply its reginald thats the source of the problem#their powers? still not right cuz the marigold was the thing that gave them the powers#so it should be the marigold#logic aside its also just such a horribly toxic message#the more I think about it the more genuinely disturbed I am about it
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Irumeanie in the PASWG style !!
#I LIVE but not very much tho im#im on two hours of sleep help me#auggggggggg agony#feel freee to message me for thr exact screenshots i used from the show for the poses#hthe highlight in her hair is intended to be a bat wing#!! important!! to me#sorry i havent posted much#work. rueueuueueueuuueueuueueu#its okay… w the money i can buy iruma merch…..#had alot of fun w this it was a nice change of pace#my art#iruma suzuki#irumi chan#irumeanie#artists on tumblr#mairuma#panty and stocking style#idrk what to tag for that#also ididnt rly follow the style exactly i took a handful of creative liberties#tht fit my preferred style#welcome to demon school iruma kun
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I really appriciate how often Machete is depicted struggling and feeling like a burden, while still being loved and supported by Vasco. It gives the top tier angst of "i'm not good enough, I'm not worth it" but you frame it in such a way where it's clear that's just how he *feels* and is not how things really are, but also it's so nice to see someone who struggles quite often in a loving and unique relationship that suits them. The narrative of not being able to love or be loved unless you're consistently healthy is really tiring lol.
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#ah thank you! I'm so glad these themes come through the way I intended#this touches on something that I've been thinking a lot so sorry if this gets a bit ranty#but I have massive personal beef with the sentiment “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else/someone else can love you ”#I hate it with a passion#I know it's meant to encourage positive growth and I get that self-love and healthy self-image are something you should strive for#but it also sort of sends the message that people who struggle with these sort of issues don't deserve to be loved#not until they reach some external invisible standard of “okay I'm normal and well adjusted now”#“perhaps now I'm worthy of entering a relationship without the danger of dragging the other person down with me”#people who aren't in perfect health mentally or physically already feel like they're inconveniencing others with their mere existence#depriving them of the possibility or even the idea of loving and being loved won't make them better#it's just a stupid idiom it doesn't matter but to me it just comes across as unspeakably cruel way to think#and it rustles my jimmies#answered#anonymous
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I DESPISE the fanon that "I was nervous around you" meant that Edwin had a crush on Simon. Like, no, he was nervous because Simon called him slurs and snatched his clothes off. Bffr. That would kill any attraction immediately, IF it was there at all.
#sorry this is like my biggest bone to pick here#it bothers me a lot for some reason#i also really just do not forgive simon at all#like??? okay sucks that you had internalized homophobia but you're still a murderer#so that probably contributes to how much it annoys me#cool motive still murder in the words of jake peralta#but yeah#i must add gabriel did am amazing job though#and the scene w simon in hell is one of my faves in dbda#but i like it for edwin and for the message it sends about internalized homophobia#simon can rot#dead boy detectives#dbda
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Levi who has an untitled album in his phone and it’s all pictures of you. Most are candids in which you’re caught off guard. He’s talented at taking pictures without you noticing. There’s a picture of you sleeping, another of you snuggled up against his chest, one of you belly laughing, and more. However, his favorites are the ones that are the most ordinary, the ones that you personally don’t think are all that special. In these pictures you’re doing the most mundane things like laundry, washing the dishes, watching television, engaging in your favorite hobby, etc. He thinks you look beautiful in all of them. He doesn’t believe there needs to be a reason for him to take these pictures. You simply existing is reason enough for him.
#the headcanon that’s keeping me alive right now#he would never tell you about the album#it’s for his eyes only#you’re not going to see what he sees#one day when you’re both older he’ll make a collage of all the pictures and show you#but for now it’s his happy secret#also I know people have requested things and have sent messages I’m so sorry I haven’t answered I haven’t been okay for the longest#right now I’m just focused on dumb little headcanons like these makes me happy#anything and everything is overwhelming and tiring#would love to see me through his eyes#levi#levi ackerman#levi aot#levi x reader#levi x you#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackerman x you#levi x y/n#levi drabble#levi headcanons#levi hcs#manda writes
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#psychonauts#gristol malik#theodore malik#<-Yeah. Hes there#psychonauts 2 spoiler#nightmaretheater#time on canvas: 8 hours#also YES this is psychonauts fanart. I prommy. Iii prommy. its gristol when he was younger#rips my hair out rips my eyes out#Hi Ugly. Points at him#travel back in time and take him away from his parents Okay#you will get my message#as much as i hate him i feel he must be understood at some level.#im not saying we should excuse or forgive him. No. We need to understand why he turned out like that#(its his parents (he only knows propaganda))#i have so much to say on the topic . i have been consumed by thoughts of him#kind of upsetting how the one guy with a cluster b personality disorder gets No Understanding in the Understanding Mentally Ill People game#<-once again. Not excusing his actions#also yeah sorry i had to unleash the rendering demons oops
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quick question I missed the last class of school the other day for totally based and real reasons but the teachers would not accept them as valid. I've just gotten an email saying that I now have detention. is it ethical to go on rip.ie and find a person that has a funeral at that time and say that I was there because they were my mum's dear friend. or nah
#I have found a person who fits this exact purpose btw#also it was literally a 15 minute class after 2 hours of doing nothing. like I should not be getting detention for this but okay#I have been super respectful about it. I left a message of condolence on their page I don't think they would mind#also because it's a funeral I feel like they're not gonna pry and ask questions#anyway#ethical dilemma#I think I would get away with it#but is it right#is my question
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it's only water, it's only fire, it's only love
it's only slaughter, we're only liars, it's only blood
you're only dying, you're only crying, you're only dead
#aaaedit#agathaallalongedit#agatha all along#agatha harkness#rio vidal#agathario#vidarkness#agatha x rio#mine#okay so i never figured out why i kept getting warning messages last time whenever i tried to smart sharpen#because it literally did not even happen once this time#so i'm just going to go with everythings good and i won't have extremely blurry gifs anymore#also it's insane how much i've just forgotten how to do on photoshop and i didn't even know all that much in the first place#but as a take 2 this one is so much better than the one from the other day so progress
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visitors in the night
characters: kafka x dom!fem!reader
cw: use of strap, rough sex, mentions of somnophilia, reader might be like a robot or smth idk what’s going on with them
a/n: i have no clue what i was wafflin on about something about story setting i think i had a headache ok idk also sorry for any spelling / grammar / punctuation mistakes. even though reader is not actually gendered they just have a fem body, can be read as wlw, read it if u want to idk.
“kafka.”
you glanced up at the purple-haired woman from the book you were reading in bed, watching silently as she pushes it to the side, sidling into your lap.
she doesn’t speak a word, her body language telling you enough. the silk robe wrapped loosely around her body brushes against your skin, and out of your periphery you can see it falling to the sides of her thighs, exposing the milky white skin to you—surely all to get you to pay attention to her. but you can’t find it in yourself to entertain it, eyes boring into hers as you waited for her to explain the interruption.
kafka pouts when you seem unfazed by her advances, resting her arms around your shoulders and leaning in a little closer, “come on…”
she all but purrs into your ear, pressing her body against yours in yet another attempt to get a reaction out of you. to be perfectly honest, you weren’t expecting this out the her. sure, at one point, you played with and entertained her, thinking it’d be a one time thing and you’d both move on. but the enigmatic woman has come waltzing back to you just one too many times to be ‘just for fun’, clearly making herself at home in your residence. you sighed, this is going to be a long night.
and on your lap, kafka shivers. the thin material of her robe doing nothing to keep her warm from the cold air, and instead relying on the heat from your body. a jarring contrast from the iciness in your expression, the very same disinterest that first drew her in. with excitement beginning to swirl in her lower belly, kafka readjusts herself, loosening the knot that held her robe together and letting it slip lower on her shoulders.
“kafka,” you repeated, your eyes fall to the side as you reluctantly set down the half-read book to finally pay full attention to the woman on your lap. the sound of her name falling from your lips sent shivers down her spine, her back arching just a little.
“did you need something?”
she smiles; lips curling as her eyes scan over your face, tracing the curve of your jawline before finally resting on the neckline of your dress shirt, the top buttons unbuttoned with a clear view of your cleavage.
“don’t be like that, darling. i think we both know what i need from you,” she sounds almost breathless, her voice low as one hand reaches for the button that struggled to hold your blouse together, the soft cotton stretching tight over your chest. with a soft sigh, you put your hand over hers, effectively stopping any attempt to unbutton your top.
“i don’t believe i received any message from you about what you might need?” you tilted your head to the side, sitting up a little straighter as you slowly brought her hand to your lips, giving it a soft kiss before placing it where it was previously—wrapped around your shoulders.
“i’m sorry, should i have scheduled an appointment with you?”
“that would be ideal…” your voice trails off as you wrapped an arm around her waist, gently laying her on the bed as your other hand supported you. kafka smiles up at you, breathing deeply as your head dips down to kiss her neck, your arm wrapped securely around her waist; your slow, steady movements beginning to drive her mad.
“then i’ll have time to prepare,” you whispered, bringing your hand from around her waist to cup her breast, massaging it through the silk robe. you hear a soft sigh from the woman, her chest pushing against your hand as you thumb brushed over her nipple.
your lips traveled down her collarbone, pushing one side of the robe aside as you beginning to kiss around her breast, purposefully avoiding her sensitive bud that you know she likes to be touched. kafka’s breath quickens, feeling her back muscles tensed as you tease around it, her grip on your shirt tightening.
“prepare?” her voice was beginning to sound strained, breathing unevenly as you continued to kiss around her breast, everywhere except where she wants to feel your mouth the most, meanwhile the other side was left neglected and aching. kafka presses her head back into the mattress, her body begging for more but not wanting to push you for it. had it been anyone else, she might have just forced them into what she wants, take over their will to do her bidding. but for reasons unknown, that doesn’t work with you. which then begs the question of why she keeps coming back to you knowing you’d tease her like this. she doesn’t quite want to think about that yet, though, instead focusing on your hand that pushes apart her legs, fingers tracing along her thighs.
“to fuck you, of course.”
—
at this point, kafka wasn’t really sure how long it’s been, her hands gripping the soft sheets as you left get your strap. it actually hasn’t been that long yet, perhaps maybe a half hour had passed since she first sat on your lap. but in her lust-fuelled mind, it felt like hours considering you have yet to fuck her like promised.
instead, you spent the time kissing and caressing her body, massaging her chest and teasing her nipples. and you were so fucking good at that, licking and sucking on her sensitive buds until they felt raw and swollen. and even after you would continue to roll the buds between your fingers, until you drew out soft whimpers from her, shying away from your touch and yet her hips trembled with need.
“finally,” kafka mutters, watching from her spot on the bed as you came back with the toy, her purple eyes following your every move as you slipped it on and secured it in place. just the sight of it aroused her further, anticipating the feeling of your cock buried in her walls already.
her robe was a mess; the lower half pushed to the sides to expose her pretty pussy to you, glistening even in the dim lighting of the room. even so you stopped her from undoing the knot that held it together, “keep it on, i quite like it actually.”
kafka only smiles in response, holding your gaze as you crawled over to her once again, before hooking her legs over your forearms and pushing it up. now in this position, it was much more obvious how wet you’ve got her, pussy oozing with juices as it awaits your cock. her breathing gets heavier again as you continuing to toy with her, her walls clenching and unclenching. your fingers brushed along her entrance and watching as more fluid leaks out her, and an involuntary twitch of her hips.
“come on,” she groans, leaning her head back and wiggling her hips, urging you to do something already. you could only laugh in return, before lining up the tip of the dildo to her hole, and in one swift motion, pushed into her pussy completely.
“ah—!” the yelped that escaped her lips was uncharacteristic, and ‘surprise’ was not an emotion she could relate to, but the feeling of your cock buried fully inside her in one thrust was unexpected. instead she had expected you to take your time, fucking her slow and steady until she can no longer take it.
but now kafka could feel your cock in her belly, pushing against her insides so deeply that she could barely breathe. without even giving her time to adjust to the sudden stretch, you’ve already beginning moving your hips, pushing deep into her with every thrust and making sure your hipbones pressed against her ass every time.
you kept your breathing steady, and your movements sharp, pressing kafka’s thighs down until she was almost folded in half, forming a pretty V-shape as her legs hung limply. to you, it merely felt like a workout, the only pleasure you received from this was watching the woman below you gasp and moan out from your relentless thrusts. watching her normally collected composure crumble, and her eyes roll back with pleasure.
even as kafka started to squirt halfway through, her juices spraying out every time you pulled out, you kept up your brutal pace, pushing back in full force. her body bounced with your thrusts, and every movement caused her sensitive nipples to brush against the silk fabric which only amplified the sensations running through her body.
now, sounds of wet skin slapping against each other, and kafka’s gasps for air filled the room. her hands gripped your arms, nails digging into your skin but you barely noticed it, fully focused on the woman beneath, watching every rise of her chest and every twitch of her hips. you’ve done this enough to know, what her body likes the best.
kafka could barely take a full breath between each of your thrusts, and it didn’t matter how tightly her pussy walls clenched; not when you’re pulling out and forcing it back in like that. pleasure coiled in her lower belly, tightening until it was almost unbearable. she could feel her hips and thighs quivering, the muscles struggling against your grip. in and out and in and out, kafka feels her mind getting dizzier, your cock felt so good inside as her back arches, right on the verge of an orgasm before it all suddenly stops.
in an instant, all sensations was ripped from her and she could no longer feel your warmth. somewhere in her mind, she just barely registers the whine that leaves her throat, body aching for your touch, your cock, once again. so out of it that she doesn’t even notice you flipping her to her front, face buried in the sheets as you lift her hips off the bed. the moans that escaped her lips she can’t even care to muffle; high-pitched and needy when you pull her hips back onto your cock, the lewd sounds echoing through the room.
the orgasm that you had so cruelly ripped from her was quickly building again, this time much faster as the tip of your cock pressed against the swollen bundle of nerves within her with every thrust. pain and pleasure mixed together under your bruising pace, kafka was sure that she’d feel it in the morning, but she cannot complain. after all, this was what she wanted—what she needed from you.
this time, you don’t stop. even as her pussy ached from oversensitivity and the bed below has been completely drenched with her juices, your hips continues to fuck the cock into her. until nothing but shaky breathing could be heard from the woman below you, her body falling limply to the bed as you finally released her hips, imprints of your hands pressed into the milky skin.
—
thankfully, you still remembered the page you left off in the book you were reading, picking it up as you sat back in the spot you were in previously. having now showered and cleaned up, you were ready to resume your peaceful reading.
on the other side of the bed, kafka was still in the same position you had left her in. whether she had fallen asleep or passed out, you didn’t really care to know. and you could still see her body twitching occasionally; surely an after effect of your actions. well, it didn’t matter. you would finish your reading and go to sleep, and in the morning when you awoke again, she would already be gone.
—
when kafka awoke, the room was dark and you had long since fallen asleep. her body felt stiff and sore after what you did, but ultimately she can say gave her exactly what she needed. that you fucked her until she passed out was amazing in itself, but leaving her like that and going to sleep yourself was clinical. the coldness and disinterest from you that she can’t get enough of, her pussy throbbed as she observed your sleeping body, how easy it would be to use you to get off right now, rip off the damned clothes that hid your body from her hungry eyes.
instead she reels herself in; there was work to be done. biting down on her bottom lip, she drags her spent body off the bed, only now realising the huge stains left on the sheets. she assumes embarrassment is what she should be feeling now, but instead she finds a pen and some paper.
i’ll pay for the sheets. my apologies, you were just too good. ♡
as she leaves your residence, kafka pulls out her phone. thinking back to your words earlier, she smiles as she drafts a message scheduled to be sent to you.
‘i’ll be coming over again tomorrow night. don’t say i didn’t schedule an appointment with you.’
#you know that line that kafka has saying that because of the nature of her work she rarely sees the same person twice ??#YUP#down bad needy kafka i like it#hc that her body is more sensitive because of her lack of ability to feel emotions#ok she’s starting to grow on me okay#like her text messages are kinda cute OKAY WHATEVER#honkai star rail#kafka#kafka x reader#kafka smut#sub kafka#dom!reader#sub honkai star rail#honkai star rail kafka#also somno kafka ???? lowkey an idea ???#how come i only thought of it at the end#and yes i intentionally made their dynamic like that ok#bc kafka is probably used to people fawning over her#anything she wants she can just control#but not you#bc you’re y/n ofc you’re special#obviously LMAO#six.writes#anyway#YUP it got better tbh i really didn’t know what i was writing at the start#and if my writing is weird pls tell me i’ve honestly lost my touch it took me so long to get it together#be honest and actually give like constructive criticism
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i keep ghosting people bc in my head i'm sure i've already replied back to them?????????? i hear how fucking stupid that sounds like my god it's like the most pathetic excuse ever but i just.. it's happened multiple times now AND I DON'T EVEN REALIZE I'VE DONE IT BEFORE IT'S SO FUCKING LATE when they don't reply back i just think oh they might be busy or smth . only to realize that I'M the one who hasn't fucking said anything👍
#i'm just sorry#to everybody#if you're waiting for a reply#and i've just left you somewhere#send me ONE more message and i'll come over so you can bash my head in or smth#it's so stupid#i'm stupid#this post is also stupid this problem is fucking stupid#mayor of loserville#i feel like shit#no pity needed this is quite literally thee biggest me problem ever#it's like this with ppl i know irl too#my mom texted my brother to ask whether i'm okay#: DDDDD
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