#also oh em gee steve
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sceletaflores · 2 months ago
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come on and show me a little bit of spine!
pair: logan howlett x mutant!fem!reader
wc: 5.5k
contains: 18+ SMUT MDNI, swearing, drinking, smoking, p in v, rough sex, unprotected sex, public sex (alleyway hehe), biting, blood but not blood play, pain kink, scent kink, a special guest (!!!), jealous logan muahahaha, emotional constipation but like wtf is new, nat probably blatantly ignoring canon, probably ooc logan and friends sorry i'm just a girl, porn w/ plot (a little???), no use of y/n.
author’s note: HAHA BACK ON MY LOGAN BULLSHIT! who’s laughing? not me. i can’t stop writing for him it’s insane and selfish i know i know i’m sorry. bee tee dubs this is part two to all’s fair in love and viscera cus i couldn't get them out of my head so...kisses!
five x-men walk into a bar, only three walk out…
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All men are the same. X-gene or no x-gene, they're all immature pigs.
You've come to find that it's more than just skin deep. If you took a knife to every man in this bar, you'd surely find the exact same little metaphorical mass of arrogance ingrained in every single one of them once all the layers are peeled back far enough.
And that's what Logan is, a man.
A stubborn, arrogant, mind-numbingly frustrating man who's convinced he could never be wrong just because he's had a little more time than normal to perfect the art of being completely insufferable.
No adamantium skeleton or foot long claws of death can change that.
You could set him on fire, drown him, watch him regenerate from a single cell, and nothing would change.
So, in hindsight, you really should have seen this coming.
It was Ororo's idea to go out, insisting the team needed it. A casual night at the bar across town to raise bravado after a few close call missions.
It sounded fun at the time, and for the first thirty minutes it was.
Getting to shed your hero skin for a few hours every so often is always nice, and you love your team. Love getting to just sit and live with them. You hardly get nights like this anymore, filled with playing pool and darts like people do.
That being said, you were reaching the top of your limit. Fast.
It started at the bartop, with Logan sauntering up next to you for the first time tonight. 
He slid into the empty seat to your left, leaned against the bar casually, glancing at you from the corner of his eye. His lips tugged into that half-smirk he wore that night in the training room.
“You avoiding me?” he asks, voice low, bent down just enough to speak directly into your ear. "Haven't seen you all night."
You almost scoffed, almost turned to face him so he could see the look of irate disbelief on your face. Almost, but you didn't want to give him the extra attention.
"I could ask you the same thing."
You didn't miss how things had changed between the two of you after your night in the training room. Something shifted, and not in the romantic 'so...what are we now?' territory.
It shifted into Logan disappearing, closing himself off. He didn't go out of his way to avoid you, didn't even go as far as ignoring your existence entirely. He didn't need to, you knew it was different.
He refused to talk about it, refused to even acknowledge it, completely shutting you down the one time you tried bringing it up.
It stung. The feeling of rejection, especially after that night. You felt like you bared a part of your soul to Logan on that dark blue training mat. You swore you saw something different in his eyes too, a subtle shift, something that said this ran deeper than just a messy fuck between friends.
It played on your mind like a loop, every detail. You nitpicked almost every single thing you did, searched your mind for what you could have done that scared him off.
It has to be you, it always is.
It took a week to get over it. A week to wash away the feeling of Logan's hands on your body, of his lips on yours, of his cock carving a space for itself in your cunt, of his blood sliding down your throat and slicking the palms of your hands.
Eventually, that sadness gave way to self-reflection. Self-reflection gave way to anger, and now you're just plain pissed.
This has nothing to do with you.
Logan is a grown man, not a goddamn baby. He should know how to communicate by now, should take the stick out of his ass and drop the whole 'I'm no good for you baby' martyr cross he's carried around for over a century and talk to you.
But if he wants to be alone to sulk in self pity and sorrow for two hundred more years, you'll let him.
Logan's smirk falters, his expression falling with a heavy sigh. He leans back, one boot moving to rest on the rung of your stool. "You really want to do this here?"
"You came up to me," you shrug, finally turning to face him. The warm glow of the bar lights catch the edges of your frustration. "If you’re here to talk, then talk."
Logan doesn't respond, just meets your gaze with a raised brow. His eyes scan over your face slowly, taking in the pinch between your brows and the stern look in your eyes.
"Trouble in paradise?"
Scott's voice pierces through the tense air between you. His tone is casual in a way that's undermined by the smug smile turning the corner of his mouth up. It's too knowing, like he'd been listening in before.
Logan's brows pinch together in irritation the same way they always do when Scott talks, but he holds your gaze. His silence is infuriating because it's the same old routine—he just stares, brooding, like he’s waiting for the problem to magically solve itself without ever opening his damn mouth.
It makes your blood simmer just under the surface, the tips of your fingers burning with it.
You grind your teeth, balling your hands into fists where they sit on the bar. "Scott," you say, not breaking eye contact with Logan, "go play fetch or something."
Scott raises his hands in mock surrender, but you know he won’t leave without a parting shot. “Just looking out for you, you know. Can’t afford you two tearing each other apart over a little lovers spat before the night’s even over.”
As he saunters off, you turn your full attention back to Logan, who’s still studying you with that infuriating intensity. It’s as if he’s trying to decode some secret language written across your face.
You almost want to laugh at how predictable he is, how he thinks he can just sit there, unbothered, while you’re ready to explode.
“Are you really just going to sit there?” you challenge, leaning closer, daring him to respond. “You can’t keep dodging this forever, Logan. You think I’m the only one feeling this? We were both there that night."
His jaw tightens, and for a moment, you think you see the flicker of vulnerability beneath the gruff exterior. But then it’s gone, replaced by that stubborn wall he always puts up.
“I don’t need to talk about it,” he mutters, his voice low, but there’s an edge of desperation that catches your attention. “What’s done is done.”
“‘What’s done is done’?” You can’t help the incredulous laugh that escapes you. “Is that your new catch phrase? They gonna start printing that on the front of your action figure's box?"
Logan's brows furrow deeper, his mouth turning down in a hard frown. "Watch it," he warns tersely, the edge of a snarl on his lips.
You lean forward, desperate to get anything out of him. "Or what?"
The bar buzzes around you, laughter and music blending into a distant hum, but all you can focus on is him—the way his eyes flare with that familiar spark of rebellion, how handsome he looks under the bar's dim lights, the way his smell is starting to warm your insides despite how mad you are.
You raise your brow, waiting, hoping. He stays silent.
That's it.
You stand abruptly, causing your stool to scrape against the floor loudly. Logan straightens, eyes narrowing as he watches you, but you’re more than done with all of this. You've had enough.
"I'm going for some air,” you say evenly, slipping your jacket off the back of your chair. "Don't follow me."
You turn and walk away before Logan can answer, heading in the direction of the bar's alley door.
You try your best to ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach, the first tendrils of dread wrapping themselves around you tighter with every step. Your eyes burn embarrassingly each time you blink, but you refuse to cry.
You’re emotionally spiraling a couple feet from the door when someone suddenly steps in front of you, and you crash into them.
“So sorry, ma��am,” A familiar voice says from somewhere in front of you as two strong hands grip your waist to steady you. “Completely my fault, I wasn’t watching where I was going.”
You crane your head up, eyes dragging from the blue gingham button down stretched over impressive muscle until they land on a pair of blue eyes and blonde head of hair you recognize.
“Steve?” 
Steve Rogers smiles down at you, his hands still lightly resting on your waist. His expression is soft, apologetic, and a little surprised. Your name falls from his lips in a warm greeting, his hands lingering for a second longer before he drops them and takes a small step back.
“I’m surprised you still remember me. It’s been a while,” he says with the same boyish charm you remember, like he hadn’t just watched you nearly barge through the door like it owed you money. “How’ve you been?”
You blink up at Steve, the frustration from your situation with Logan still fresh, swirling through your system like a storm.
How’ve you been?
What a loaded question.
“Better,” you answer with a tight smile, barely convincing yourself. “Just tired. We’ve been so busy recently, you know how it is.”
Steve gives you a searching look, his eyes skimming your face with the kind of care that makes you want to shrink into yourself. His brow furrows slightly, concern flickering in those crystal-clear eyes of his as he studies your face. 
"Are you okay?" he asks, genuinely, like he’s already picked up on the fact that something’s off. 
How could you forget, he’s got the emotional radar of a saint. Lucky you.
"Yeah, sure," you lie, adjusting your jacket and pointedly avoiding the obvious upset that’s probably plastered across your face. You force a smile, hoping he buys it. "Just needed some air. This place is packed."
The furrow of Steve’s brows deepen, his lips pressing into a thin line like he doesn’t believe you. You feel worse under the intense pressure of his knowing stare, like a bug trapped under a magnifying glass.
You’re about to say something—anything—to fill the awkward silence, but then you feel it. That heavy, unmistakable presence at your back.
Of course he didn’t listen.
Steve’s eyes flick over your shoulder, and you don’t even have to turn around to know Logan’s right there, brooding like a dark cloud about to burst. You can practically feel the tension rolling off him in waves as one strong arm slides underneath the thick denim of your jacket and around your waist.
“Cap,” Logan’s clipped voice greets from somewhere behind you, laced with barely concealed irritation as his fingers dig into the cotton of your shirt, staking some sort of unspoken claim.
Steve gives Logan a respectful nod, though his expression remains calm, measured, the same quiet authority he always carries. “Logan,” he greets, smile faltering for the second it takes him to drop his eyes to Logan’s arm. “Nice to see you doing well.”
Logan hums noncommittally, you feel the rumble of it against your back. “Didn’t think this was your scene,” he says to Steve, brow cocked in suspicion.
Steve shakes his head, a small laugh falling from his lips. “It’s not, usually. I got strong armed into joining a few friends.”
“Right,” Logan replies, tone flat like Steve would have a reason to lie.
You can almost see the tension thickening in the air, an electric pulse that shoots straight through you. Logan’s grip tightens subtly, an instinctive reaction to Steve’s presence, but you can feel the subtle heat rising, the way your heart races under his touch despite yourself.
“Steve and I worked together, a base infiltration in Albany a few years ago.” You cut in, shooting Logan a look over your shoulder, like a sharp glare alone could get him to calm down, if only for a second. But he just meets your gaze with that familiar stubbornness, eyes dark and unyielding. 
It’s infuriating, and for a moment, you’re tempted to dive right into it, to unearth the chaos lurking beneath that chiseled exterior. But then you remember where you are—how public it is, how many eyes are on you.
“Feels like a lifetime ago,” Steve says, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
And it does. 
You think of Kevlar squeezed around your ribs, of explosions and buildings falling and the smell of gunpowder.
"Yeah, it does," you reply, ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach and forcing a smile.
“God, you look…” His gaze rakes over you like he can’t help it, the bright blue of his eyes trailing from your face down your legs and back up all over again. You can feel Logan bristle next to you. 
”You look amazing,” Steve finishes with a small shake of his head, million dollar smile still pulling up the corners of his mouth. “Buy you a drink?”
“We were just leavin’, Cap,” Logan cuts in tersely, his arm tightening around your waist even more. His grip is possessive, but it’s not affectionate—it’s an unsaid challenge, a warning. “Calling it an early night.”
You whip your head around, confusion evident on your face. "We?" you parrot back, the word hanging in the air like a challenge of its own. “We haven’t decided anything.”
Logan’s jaw tightens, that familiar stubbornness rearing its head again. His hand splays flat over the span of your lower back, pushing just enough for you to feel the power behind it but not enough to really move you. “Let’s go.”
You look at Steve, then Logan, then the crowded bar, then the door to the alley, and repeat. 
It should be an easy answer, an easy way out of going in circles with Logan even more than you already have.
But you find yourself stuck, feet rooted to the floor as your mind races with a hundred different thoughts in the span of a second.
Your lips part, and you’re not even sure what you’re going to say, when Steve beats you to the punch. 
"She can decide for herself," he says evenly, though there's a subtle shift in his tone. It’s calm, but there’s a steely edge to it, like a well-honed blade concealed beneath all the politeness. He’s still smiling, but it’s less soft now, more hardened around the edges.
Logan’s grip on your waist tightens, his fingers digging in like he's daring Steve to push the envelope any further. “Yeah? Don’t think she needs you speakin’ for her, either.”
"Enough," you snap, stepping out of Logan’s hold with a sharp turn, your voice cutting through the growing storm between them. You turn to him with a hard look, brows pinched in anger. "Fine, let's go."
Your smile feels strained, the edges sharp and jagged as you face Steve, the weight of Logan’s presence at your back heavy and suffocating. “It was great seeing you, Steve. Really.”
Your voice sounds strained even to your own ears.
“We’ll have to catch up some other time,” you add, though the words taste bittersweet on your tongue. 
You can tell he wants to say something, his smile completely dropping as his eyes flit between you and Logan a few times. You give him a pleading look, a reassuring nod that you’ve got this. 
Steve hesitates, you can see the gears turning in his mind, weighing the situation and trying to gauge the tension in the air. But ultimately, he nods, offering you one last smile that’s laced with concern.
“Absolutely,” he says, his voice warm despite the tension hanging in the air. “I’d love to. Just let me know when.”
With one last nod to Logan, he turns and walks away to meld into the crowd until you can’t make out the blue of his shirt anymore.
You don’t turn to Logan as you finally walk out the door. The clunk of his boots follow you the whole way out.
As soon as you’re outside, all the anger sets in at once, burning hot in your stomach as you spin around to face him. The fresh air hits your face like a slap, cool and bracing, but it does nothing to quell the fire simmering inside you.
"You really can't leave well enough alone, can you?" You snap, folding your arms defensively. “You just had to go and stake your territory?”
Logan’s face hardens, his eyes dark under the dim streetlight. “What do you expect me to do? Let you walk away and get buttered up by Rogers while I sit at the bar with my dick in my hand?”
“Steve wasn’t doing anything!” You exclaim, frustration seeping into your every word. “He was just being nice, we’re friends.”
Logan lets out a disbelieving snort, shaking his head hard enough that his hair sways with it. “Nothin’ about that was friendly, kid. You’d have to be fuckin’ blind to not see that.”
You huff, turning your eyes to the sky in exasperation. “Why do you care?” you fire back, heart racing at the challenge. “We’re not together! You’ve made that more than clear!”
Now that the seal is broken, it’s like you can’t stop. Words fall out of your mouth faster than your mind can keep up, all the pent up frustration you’ve felt over the past few weeks boiling over.
“You’re the one that’s acting like nothing happened!” You throw your hands up in exasperation, your voice rising with every word. “You’re the one who disappeared, who’s been avoiding this whole thing like it didn’t mean anything!”
He growls, stepping closer, his presence looming. "You think I don’t know that, kid? You think I haven’t been dealing with this shit—with us?"
"Well, you sure as hell don’t act like it! You don’t talk about it. You don’t even try! You just stand there and expect me to what? Read your mind?”
For a split second, Logan’s expression falters, his shoulders stiffening as if your words struck a nerve. But just as quickly, the mask falls back into place. "I’m no good for you, kid. And you know it. I’m doing you a favor."
"There it is again!" You bark out a bitter laugh, shaking your head. "The martyr complex. You’ve been alive for over a century, Logan. You’ve got time on your side, and you still can’t figure out how to be a decent human being in a relationship?”
He flinches slightly, but his eyes remain locked on yours, anger and frustration swirling behind them. "It’s not that simple."
“Of course it is!" You step forward, closing the gap between you. "You just don’t want to do the hard work. You don’t want to open up, to be vulnerable, because then you’d actually have to face yourself. And God forbid Wolverine confronts something he can’t claw his way out of.”
Logan’s jaw clenches, his eyes blazing, and for a long beat, the two of you stand in a tense, electrified silence. The world around you seems to fall away—no bar, no missions, no X-Men—just the two of you, standing in the alley, raw and exposed.
You don’t know who moves first, you or Logan, before you can register it, the distance between you disappears, swallowed by the pull of all that unresolved tension.
His lips claim yours, fierce and urgent, as if this was the only language he’s fluent in—raw emotion, violent passion. His hands find your waist again, gripping tight, pulling you flush against him.
The kiss is messy, desperate, a collision of teeth and tongues, but it’s exactly what you expected. It’s how you and Logan have always been—no finesse, just fire and stubborn intensity. It’s the only way he knows how to communicate, the only way he can let go, even for a second.
Your hands slide up into his hair, yanking roughly as a guttural growl vibrates from his chest into your mouth. You feel the heat of his skin, the coiled tension in his muscles, and it ignites something wild inside you.
The anger hasn’t left—it’s just morphed into something darker, something hungrier.
The kiss is nothing like the ones from that night in the training room. This one is full of anger and frustration, all the emotions that have been simmering between you two finally bubbling over in an explosive release. His lips are hard, demanding, and the taste of whiskey lingers faintly on his breath, mixing with the metallic scent of the alley.
You push back just as fiercely, your hands tangled in his hair as you try to pour all of your hurt, your confusion, and your pent-up rage into that single kiss. For a moment, it’s all- consuming—hot, reckless, like trying to catch fire in your hands.
“You’re such a fuckin’ punk,” he grates against your lips, kneading the meat of your hips roughly like he’s trying to anchor himself to you. His teeth scrape your bottom lip, his growl vibrating through you like a warning shot, but it only spurs you on.
"You’re one to talk,” you bite back, the heat between you both as volatile as ever.
You drop your hands to his chest, gripping the leather of his jacket in your fists and yanking him closer until there's no space left, until it's hard to tell where the anger ends and the need begins.
Logan growls, the sound reverberating deep in his chest, as his hands move up your back, possessive and rough. “You keep pushin' me, kid. You really wanna see how far I’ll go?"
"Maybe I do," you shoot back, biting down lightly on his lower lip. You taste the blood—his blood—and something primal stirs in you. His healing factor kicks in almost instantly, but the heat between you spikes with the sharp tang of it. It always does.
Logan hisses sharply, tongue swiping over the blood still dotted along his lip before he’s pushing you backwards.
You have no choice but to move with him, blindly stumbling back a few steps until your shoulders hit the wall of the bar. His lips attached to your neck the whole way, teeth nipping at the rapid flutter of your pulse.
It’s like a wildfire spreading between you, all heat and destruction, and the alley around you seems to fade into the background, leaving nothing but the chaotic mess of you and Logan.
You consider the risks of fucking Logan in an alleyway for all of two seconds, every single warning bell in your mind going silent when his hands tighten their hold on your hips to spin your around, pushing you up against the brick roughly.
“Fine,” he concedes, yanking the fabric of your skirt up hard enough you hear a tiny rip. “I’ll give you what you want, princess.”
The sound of his zipper being tugged down might as well be a gunshot with how loudly it reverberates through your mind. Your thighs slide together slickly, aching cunt clenching in anticipation.
The soft sound of Logan pushing his jeans down is the only warning you get before the thick head of his cock is sliding over the wetness staining the fabric of your panties.
“This what you wanted?” he asks, hooking his fingers into the lace to tug it aside and slip the length of himself through your slick folds. “You need a cock in your hungry pussy to feel better?” He lines himself up with your fluttering entrance, pushing gently until the very tip slips in.
Your lips fall open, brow furrowing as he starts feeding you his length one infuriating inch at a time.
Anger still warms your gut, but you find yourself nodding wordlessly. Tiny, desperate sounds escaping your throat the deeper he sinks in.
The stretch of him is almost too much, like he’s splitting you in two. It’s the kind of sting that just barely toes the line of pain and pleasure in the best way. It has you crying out when he finally bottoms out, pressing your forehead against the brick to try and ground yourself.
Logan’s considerate enough to keep still, thumbs rubbing soothing circles over the skin of your hips as you adjust.
“God,” you groan, shifting your hips enough to feel the way his cock rubs along your walls. The burn starts to melt away into pure pleasure with every grind.
“That’s it, baby,” Logan goads, hands still planted on your hips as you start to bounce on his cock in earnest. “Write your name on this cock, tell everyone who it belongs to.”
His words just spur you on, a high whine falling from your lips as you set a steady rhythm. The slap of skin on skin getting louder, echoing around you lewdly. 
“Mm, feels good huh?” he hums, pressing a sweet kiss to your shoulder.
You barely choke out a garbled ‘yes’, thighs starting to shake with the effort of thrusting yourself back. 
“Sorry,” he says, gripping the meat of your hips to pull you back against his cock roughly. “What was that?”
“Yes!” you mewl, cheeks burning. The anger steadily drains from your body the closer you get to come, until it's an afterthought just present enough in your mind to still matter. “Feels so good, please Logan…”
Logan groans under his breath, pulling his hips back back back until he’s reaming forward. He thrusts once, twice, three times before he’s taking over. Big hands anchored to your hips to drag you back on every snap of his hips. 
Your entire body lights up, the pathetic noises passing through slack your lips barely register over the white noise rushing through your ears. Logan’s fucking you like he wants to break you, heavy hips pounding into the meat of your ass like an animal. The slap of it stinging your skin only for him to pull out and leave you empty before filling you again.
You go pliant in his grip, a high moan escaping you as he expertly hits that spongy spot inside of you that has heat pooling in your gut.
“God, I missed this,” he admits into your hair, one hand sliding around to press against your lower stomach. Logan’s hand is massive and blisteringly hot over your skin, cupping and feeling where he punches up into you with every thrust from the outside.
“Fuck, baby,” he growls, pressing his forehead to your back desperately. “Do you feel that? Feel how deep I am inside of you? Gonna fuckin’ fill you up, stuff you so full you’ll be leaking for weeks.”
“Logan,” you gasp, heat coiling in your belly. 
“I know,” he breathes, hips speeding up impossibly faster. “I got you, honey.”
You turn your head, the skin of your cheek scraping over the rough bring with every hard snap of his hips. The thick muscle of his forearm fills your eye line, strong and tan where it cages you to the bar. You swear you can see the blood pumping through his veins. Your stomach jerks with need, your mind buzzing.
Without thinking, you lean forward and bury your teeth in the muscle there. The coppery tang of blood on your tongue sends you reeling, a deep groan rumbling through your chest.
“Fuck!” Logan exclaims, giving one last thrust before he’s burying himself as far as he can. His cock throbs, pulsing as he unloads inside you. Rope after rope of come paints the shaking walls of your cunt, slicking the thrust of his that much more.
Pleasure goes off in sparks all up your spine, lighting up every vertebrae until the fireworks go off in your brain. Your hands claw at the wall desperately, eyes screwing shut as you fly over the edge.
Your mouth falls open in a silent scream as you come, hands digging into the brick hard enough that it cracks and crumbles beneath them, falling to your feet in little rock’s.
Everything around you fizzles out into nothing, just a dull hum cocooning you in this moment, and for just a second it’s like you're floating. 
The heave of Logan’s chest against your back and his lips on your neck only add to that far away feeling, nice enough that has you leaning into the warmth of his body. 
A car horn blaring somewhere in the distance jerks you out of any warm, fuzzy feelings and deposits you back in the real world. Your eyes refocus on the building in front of you, and a displeased groan rips from your chest.
“I made a mess,” you murmur quietly, looking at the two matching dents in the bar's wall and the same red powder staining your hands.
Logan huffs into the sweaty skin of your neck, an amused noise. “That’s alright,” he says, barely out of breath. He pulls out just enough to let his come start leaking out around his dick, sliding down the length of him in thick rivers of white. “So I did.”
You scoff, shaking your head in disgust as he steps away with a snort. Your voice is breathy and small when you speak, “You’re disgusting.”
It's quiet for a long time, both you and Logan dressing yourselves in silence. The thrum of traffic around you mixed with the muffled music bleeding through the wall is the only noise filling the space.
You drag your eyes to him, watching as he yanks up his jean’s zipper while you smooth your skirt down.
“I told you not to follow me. When we were back inside,” you say, voice steadier than before but just as breathless.
Logan meets your eyes, and there’s a pause. For a second, you think maybe he’ll turn around and leave, run away to try and forget this too. Instead, you hear his boots scrape against the gravel as he steps closer.
"I don't take orders well, remember?" His voice is gravelly, like he’s chewing on the words before spitting them out.
"Obviously," you huff under your breath, a humorless laugh shaking your shoulders slightly.
Logan’s lips quirk into a tiny, almost imperceptible smile, but it fades just as quickly.
He takes another step closer, close enough now that you can feel the warmth radiating off him again, his presence as heavy as ever. But this time, there’s something different.
He looks drained. Not physically, but emotionally. Worn down in a way you’ve never seen.
“I’m not good at this,” he admits quietly, his voice tired. “You know that.”
You raise an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue. He hesitates, rubbing the back of his neck in that rare, almost vulnerable way he does when he’s out of his element. Finally, he meets your gaze.
“I’m…" he trails off, mouth pulling into a wince like it physically pains him to apologize. "I’m sorry…”
“Wow,” you say slowly, head tilting to the side as you study him. “That was the worst apology I’ve ever gotten.”
Logan narrows his eyes at you, a mix of irritation and reluctant amusement flickering across his face. “You gonna let me talk?” he asks curtly, but there’s no real bite to it.
You sigh, nodding your head for him to continue.
He shifts his weight, a heavy sigh falling from his lips. “I know I’ve been a stubborn ass. I’m used to keeping everyone at arm’s length. It’s safer that way. I’ve lost too many people to just let someone in without a fight.”
His voice drops, laced with a vulnerability you rarely see. “I thought if I just stayed away, it would make things easier for you. I’m not relationship material, kid. I can’t be that guy for you. I don’t want you to get hurt.” 
He shakes his head, his shoulders slumping in more as he talks. “I’m a damn mess, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. I do. A lot. It just scares the hell out of me.”
For a moment, you’re unsure how to respond. Part of you wants to lash out more, to keep the anger burning because it feels safer than the vulnerability you’re feeling now.
On the other hand, for the first time tonight, you see the man behind the adamantium, behind the claws and the gruff exterior. The man behind the Wolverine.
You only see Logan, who’s lived through centuries of loss and pain, who’s learned to build walls so thick even he can’t break through them sometimes.
And damn it, you hate how much you still care. You hate that, even after everything, Logan is the one person who can make you feel like this—angry, frustrated, and vulnerable all at once. But you can’t deny the truth any longer.
Because underneath all the anger and hurt, there’s still that spark. That stupid, stubborn spark that refuses to go out.
You take a step closer, your hand gently reaching for his. “You don’t have to be anything, Logan. You just have to try. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
He nods, a slow, deliberate movement. Taking a slow set closer to you, he takes your cheek in his hand. The bright red rawness of your skin is slowly draining, tiny cuts knitting themselves together. “I can do that.”
He slides his thumb across your cheekbone and somehow, you believe him.
It’s not perfect. It’s not a promise that everything’s going to magically be okay. But it’s a start.
Maybe that’s enough.
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cashmoneyyysstuff · 4 months ago
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𓏲 ࣪₊♡ what i think katsuki n’ shouto would listen to !♡𓏲 ࣪₊
a/n : so I had this ready..but Tumblr fuckin ate the og ask..so anon if ur still sticking around (this was sent to me before I want on my break :(() ily !! and I hope you enjoy ! and all of y'all too off ! 3K WE UP !!
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katsuki ♡
for some reason, i cannot get the image of katsuki listening to nobody by skindred out of my head LMFAOOO
(maybe bc ive been listening to it non stop)
so anyways i think you can tell that i'm feeling very metal for him,, nu metal, heavy metal, groove metal he's all for it ! i don't see him being particularly picky about it.
i think he'd listen to deftones, slipknot, skindred and korn ! i think he also has other similar bands in his playlist but i see these as most of his mains !
katsuki's a renowned little shit, so he'll share his earbuds with you, have you thinking he's on some cute shit only for him to hide his phone screen from you to jumpscare with a hyper loud song so he can snicker about it like a mountain troll💀
so yeah he's extremely irritating. of course if ur into it yall jam out together !!
buuuut on the other hand he definitely is a rap/hip hop and r&b typa guy !
i can definitely see him listening to some mf doom, tupac and DEFINITELY kendrick lamar oh em gee
pls don't get me started on r&b,,,i know he'd love him some brent faiyaz..teehehehe <3
i feel like he'd really like frank ocean and tyler the creator ! i feel like he wouldn't be a hyper fan, but he has a lot of songs in his playlist !
don't ask me why yall,,,but tell me why i see him listening to fugees and erykah badu...dreamy sigh
so yeah he'll jumpscare the shit outta you with his loud music, but most of the time when he's not being a nuisance he'll happily share his earbud with you and put on some sappy soul song to subtly tell you he love you cus hes shy lolol
a lot of the songs he listens to he relates to so,, if he plays the intro of all mine by brent faiyaz.. KNOW ITS ABOUT YOUUU!!!
shouto♡
now shouto's a lil trickier for me..i feel like he likes to experiment w new music genres sometimes, but he has his lil favourites yaknow??
i like thinking he'd listen to steve lacy and frank ocean ! he has a few select songs that he likes the most ! he gives me infrunami n' mercury typa vibes
it feels the best for me to say he'd listen to indie rock/pop (sorry if these aren't the right terms yall it's googles fault if they aint😭)
i feel like he fucks w the smiths HEAVY. i also see him listening to the cure ! he also gives me smells like teen spirit by nirvana !
like i said i feel like he likes to experiment cus lemme be honest i feel he's messy😭 like his playlist is a clusterfuck
there is no sad playlist or casual playlist like everything is in one playlist LMFAOOO
but no yeah he doesn't care much, which is why i think if you put him on the good shit you might see some pink pantheress n some laufey in there LMFAOO
if you recommend a song to him it's probably in there before you can blink lololol
shouto also starts copying your playlist after a while lolol soon you'll start thinking you have your phone when you scroll thru his playlist but nah💀
i also see him listening to mitski..need i say more ?
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this was such a cute ask and it was rlly fun to do !! if you guys have any questions like these PLEAASSEEE feel free to ask me !!! tysm for the ask anon n' m'sorry it took me so long to respond ! i'm gettin' to all your asks one at a time, so please be patient with me <3 !!!
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mypoisonedvine · 4 months ago
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Oh em gee 23 with Bucky!!!!!
23: "It's hard to get used to." "What?" "Being someone that someone cares for..."
not me writing the most wholesome shit like i'm not gonna sandwich this with some nasty as hell requests lmaoooo
warnings: touch starved bucky, hurt/comfort, description of injuries, doctor!reader (but very vague), way too fucking fluffy tbh like who am i?
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The silence was comfortable; you were getting more familiar with it, at least. You couldn't be friends, or coworkers, with someone like Bucky without being alright with very long stretches of quiet.
But you weren't totally sure if you were friends or coworkers-- sort of both, sort of neither. Technically, he was your patient, but this was hardly a traditional clinical environment; first of all, you were dressing his wounds while sitting on his bed, like you always did. For obvious but unspoken reasons, he didn't react well to a sterile medical environment with those cold metal tables and bright lights...
Second of all, you were at least friendly with each other, and talked outside of those times where he needed attention (uh, medical attention that is), even if you weren't sure if you were close enough to call him a friend. You wanted to know more about him, but he was pretty cagey, and you didn't want to be overwhelming; but you also didn't take it too personally, it wasn't like he was very close with anyone that you could tell, outside of Steve.
And third of all, your heart was racing as your eyes scanned the muscles of his back, but you know... that was sort of inevitable. Of course you felt guilty for ogling him a little bit, but technically the Hippocratic oath never said anything about... admiring.
He winced a little when you pressed the gauze against one of his scrapes; "Sorry," you mumbled, breaking the long silence finally.
"It's okay," he replied quickly.
And then the quiet again; the next time you broke it, it was because you noticed him shaking slightly. You narrowed your eyes, ignoring it at first (maybe he was just shivering because he was cold with no shirt on?), but it got more obvious a second later... he was tense, like he was trying to suppress it, and you frowned. "Is everything okay?"
He only nodded, saying nothing, and you tried to lean around him to see his face-- but he looked away, keeping the back of his head towards you.
"Bucky, I need to know if you're okay," you insisted.
"M'fine," he whispered quickly, but his voice was breaking-- maybe it was a little aggressive, but you grabbed his face and turned his head towards you, finding his eyes red and tears on his face.
"Oh my god! Are you in that much pain?" you yelped. "Where is it hurting? Why didn't you tell me!?"
"N-no, I'm fine," he insisted again, "it's not-- I can hardly feel it, stop worrying."
"How can I not worry?" you laughed nervously, tilting your head. "And how can you not feel that? You took some serious hits... but that's not the point! Can you tell me what's going on?"
He sighed a little, looking up at you tenderly. "You just... you take such good care of me."
You wanted to answer, it's my job, but that would've been a lie. Well, it would've been technically true, but not really accurate, if that makes sense. Then you wanted to answer I care about you, but that would've been a little too accurate.
You didn't say anything, you were too stunned by the way he was looking at you. "It's hard to get used to."
"What?"
"Just... being someone that... someone cares for..."
Your heart sank-- actually, your whole body seemed to, as you slumped a little bit and sat lower on the bed to be at eye-level with him again. "Oh, Bucky..." you trailed off as you sighed, reaching up to wipe away one of his tears.
He quickly pushed your hand away-- not hard or anything, but immediate-- and frowned a little. "Don't," he mumbled. "It's not-- we aren't..."
"What?" you asked again gently. He looked down and shook his head. "Bucky, please talk to me."
"Don't touch me like that," he continued again, quieter, "if I can't... if it doesn't mean anything."
You blinked quickly, trying not to hope for too much just because of your own feelings. "Okay," you breathed. "I won't. Not if it doesn't mean anything."
He looked at you again; and you slowly reached up, and wiped the other cheek with your hand.
You were only so brave because of how he pressed against your touch, how he shut his eyes and leaned into it and took a deep breath in through his nose; only because he looked so relieved by it did you have the guts to move closer to him, straddling your legs around his lap.
He opened his eyes, of course, when you did that, and looked up at you with the most beautiful expression-- surprise, sure, but thankfully not discomfort or shock as you'd feared. Your other hand came back to his other cheek so you could hold his face gently; both his hands came up and braced yours, keeping them there. Relief was an understatement-- you felt so much at once, and even though your heart broke for him, it was so amazing knowing you could actually help him. Knowing maybe you could treat more than just the wounds that you could see.
He hugged you a little suddenly, a little tightly, as he buried his head against your chest; you sighed slightly and wrapped your arms around him, too, letting yourself fully relax on top of him.
You did bring one hand up to brush lazily through his hair, you weren't sure why but it just felt natural to do. You felt more of his tears wet your shirt, and one of his hands clutch a little tighter at your back.
"It's okay," you promised under your breath. "You're okay..."
This was the longest silence yet, it was impossible to say how long you two stayed like that. It felt like forever, yet it went by quickly.
"I can't be here all night," you finally found the courage to mumble to him at some point. "I have to go, you know, eventually-- other people are injured--"
"I-I know," he sniffled weakly, pulling his reddened face back from your chest. "I know, but... will you come back?"
You'd never heard him sound so... small? You smiled and tilted your head. "Of course," you offered, brushing some hair away from his face and tucking it behind his ear. "I'll always come back."
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grimoireofhayley · 1 year ago
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Of Friends and Horror
Stu Macher x Fem!Reader x Billy Loomis
WARNINGS: Graphic content, eventual Smut (MINORS DNI), Language, Talks of SA (rape), Cheating, Obsessiveness, Gore, 18+ content, Stalking, Jealousy, Angst, Possessiveness, (let me know if there’s more that needs to be added!)
Word Count: 1.02k
Tag List: @ev3ningrain @nerdytif @m-the-little-witch
A/N: Ah, I hope y’all feel lucky. Two chapters in one day! I hope you enjoy this one as much as I enjoyed writing it. I hope I captured Randy, Billy, and Stu’s personality correctly. Thank you so much for reading! I’m hoping I’d get an update out tomorrow, but if not, it should be up later on this week at some point so keep an eye open. I also wrote this on my iPad, so I apologize if there’s any grammatical errors. I’ll proofread again tomorrow and put out an updated version. Oh, again, if you wanna be added to the tag list, just comment down below. Thank you :)
All chapter links! 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻
OF&H Masterlist
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Chapter 3
“Remember, your principal loves you, and I want you to be safe. All students are encouraged to return to their homes promptly from school grounds…” The principal spoke over the PA, “Avoid strangers, walk in twos and threes—“
You pinched the bridge of your nose, visibly stressed from all the questioning. You haven’t a clue why you were so upset about everything, you weren’t the killer, but for some reason it felt like you were. Maybe you should’ve lied? Twisted the story a bit so you didn’t reveal you were a mistress at some point in your life.
“I am a slut..” You mumbled, dragging your fingers down your face, causing your eyes to droop. “Now Brooke is definitely going to find out, how am I to confront her on that?” You asked no one in particular.
You stared at the vibrant blue sky, squinting when the sun flashed your eyes. “Have mercy on me, please?” You begged the man upstairs, not expecting an answer in return.
“What kind of questions did they ask you, Sid?” You heard Tatum’s voice in the distance.
You blew a raspberry, putting your brave face on and sauntered over to your friend group at the fountain.
“They asked if I knew Casey…” Sidney’s voice soon followed.
“Hi, guys!” You chirped, sitting in front of Stu, Billy, Tatum and Sidney, unintentionally stopping their conversation.
“Hello, Sweetcheeks!” Stu blurted, eyes glazing over you, a small smirk planted on his lips. “What took you so long?” He groaned, “It’s always so boring when you aren’t here!” He frowned, tossing his head back.
“Gee, thanks Stu..” Tatum snipped, causing you to giggle.
You looked over to Billy, seeing Sidney leaning against his legs, your face contorting in disgust as jealousy was creeping up on you. You mentally slapped yourself, looking away and back at Stu.
“Uh, they had me stay longer for questioning…” You admitted, leaning back against your bag, stretching out your legs.
“Huh? Why?” Billy asked, curiously.
“Yeah, why’s that?” Sidney mumbled.
You swallowed the lump that formed in your throat.
“Just reasons, I guess.”
“Speaking of questioning, did they ask if you like to hunt?” Stu looked at Billy and Randy who seemed to have shown up out of nowhere.
“Yeah, they did. Did they ask you?” Billy answered and probed, Randy nodded in agreement.
“Hunt? Why would they ask you if you liked to hunt?” Tatum voiced.
“Because their bodies were gutted.” Randy spoke up, shoving a peanut in his mouth.
“They didn’t ask me if I liked to hunt…” both Sidney and Tatum declared.
Stu looked around, but his eyes always seemed to land on you, which caused you to blush, and chew on your fingernail.
“‘Cause there’s no way a girl could’ve killed ‘em..” Stu laughed.
“That’s bullshit. The killer could easily be female, basic instinct.”
“That was an ice pick. Not exactly the same thing…” Randy butted in.
“Yeah, Casey and Steve were completely hollowed out. And the fact is, it takes a man to do something like that.” Stu grinned, still staring at you without realizing it.
You leaned in, placing your chin on the palm of your hand. “Really now? If that’s so, then why did they ask me if I liked to hunt, Stu?” You smirked, catching all of them off guard. “Like Tatum said, the killer could easily be a girl. Though, with how they were killed it was clearly a man. They’re all the same, messy. They like to play with their prey. A woman on the other hand, knows how to get things done, swiftly and cleanly. Why do you think they don’t get caught as easily?” You finished your statement. Drumming your fingers across your lap in triumph.
“That was— I was not expecting that.” Stu laughed loudly, bewilderment lingering around him like an aroma of some sorts. Billy was just as shocked, but more amused.
However, Sidney wasn’t having it. “How… How do you gut someone?” She asked.
“You take a knife—“ Stu started and Billy looked up from his lunch. “And you slit ‘em from the groin to the sternum..”
“Hey.” Billy cut Stu off, glaring at him. “It’s called tact, you fuckrag.”
You sighed, shaking your head.
“Hey, (Y/n)..” Sidney asked, ignoring Billy and Stu’s former conversation.
Your ears perked and you looked at her confused.
“Didn’t you used to date Steve Orth?”
‘Now how in the fuck could she have possibly known that…’ You thought, your ears turning red from anger and you clenched your fist.
“Yeah, for like a couple of months..”
“Hold up, did I miss a chapter or something? When the hell did you date him?” Billy asked, looking somewhat pissed.
“Uh, yeah, I have to agree with Billy here.. when the hell did that happen?” Tatum’s eyes widened, she felt betrayed.
“Jesus, guys, it was only a couple of months, I don’t even know how Sidney found out.” You started, shooting Sidney a glare.
“Can we change the subject, please?”
“Did you sleep with him?” Stu mumbled, starting to get irritated as well.
“All of you, please just shut up. It is not a big deal.” You demanded.
“Are the police aware that you dated the victim?” Randy asked, ignoring your pleas.
“Hey, what are you saying? That I killed both Casey and Steve?” Your mouth gaped at the accusation.
“It just makes sense, ex-girlfriend not over the relationship, gets jealous seeing her lover with someone else… You know, the scorned ex who kills for revenge!” Randy shouted, earning a few stares in the process from passersby’s.
“(Y/n) was with me last night, okay?” Billy spoke, winking at you from behind Sidney.
“Yeah, I was…” You stated, catching Sidney’s eyes darting your way.
“Was that before or after you sliced them up?”
“Hold on, you went to (Y/n)‘s after you came by my place? You said you were going to Stu’s!” Sidney flared her nostrils, anger bubbling to the surface.
“Oh, brother…” You whispered, face-palming. Seeing Sidney hurriedly packing up her things, she didn’t give neither you or Billy time to explain...
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pouringmyheartoutforpaper · 2 years ago
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how do we think you and steve fall asleep? like what snuggle position? i personally am a sleep on my side with something between my legs girly. i need that something to be steve. but i also need him to hold me and hear him softly breathing. and i just know that he’s a fucking furnace. personally i’m always cold so i will b needing steve to b my personal heated teddy.
oh em gee i have thoughts
steve is an avid cuddler
like rabid
will grab u in his sleep
you wake up and hes just pulling you into him like youre a teddy bear while being DEAD ASLEEP
also is generally big spoon except for on bad days where he wants to be held
but he likes being the masculine one it makes him feel good about himself
also will wrap his arms around your waist and fall asleep with his face in your tits like all the time
to him they are pillows
also he is LITERALLY A FURNACE
when its cold youre snuggled up onto him like a sloth and hes so happy about it
when its hot youre both sprawled across the bed but still holding hands or touching in some way bc he needs it
also will grab your boobs when hes big spoon not even for anything sexual he just likes holding onto them
if youre on the couch he will pull u into his lap and snuggle his face in your neck
just loves hugs. he wasnt hugged enough as a kid.
also hes turned on by emotional intimacy which is why he cant be mean to you if you ask him
he just is a teddy bear. he just wants to hold you. he just wants a cuddle.
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cosmal · 2 years ago
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boygenius — send me a character and a concept and i’ll write some headcanons!
ok so like … this is kind of vague but thoughts on jealous!eddie? he’s def the gets-jealous-easily type I feel. (also pls ignore this or any of my other asks if u want to. I know u probably have lots to get through!! love u <3)
I feel like a lot of it comes from his own insecurity.
because he's definitely capable of it.
eddie munson? it's canon that he's not liked. he's total charmer idc but he's not lucky with the men and women </3
until you!!!!! god he's so in love with you its not even funny. you're caring and sweet and you put up with his antics. you tell him all the time he isn't anything to put up with but still, he's always doubting himself.
at first, he doesn't even notice it. he's not overprotective with it, or overbearing, but there's always that nagging on the back of his head.
when you go out, he'd be stupid not to notice if anyone else is looking at you. men that might try to talk you up. you're mostly oblivious about it. dancing away or chatting his ear off, ignoring the other guy that's at your side.
"you want another drink, teds?"
eddie stops staring at the guy eyeing you down. "yeah, baby. wanna dance as well?"
at the end of the night when he realises you don't care about other guys who he thinks are better than him, after you spend the whole night dancing with him and hanging off his side, giggling about how much you like him, he forgets about it all.
then, there's steve. steve who you've known forever, who he's sure you belong with. he's sure you're perfect for each other.
steve makes you laugh, he's sure harder than he ever has. he knows things about you that eddie doesn't. things he thinks he should, not him.
one day, when he's feeling down, he asks you about it. "hey, you and steve....you guys ever...y'know, been together?"
you almost spit out the milkshake he's just bought you. "me...me and steve? what? no!"
"oh, you guys just seem so close. he's so nice to you."
"we've been through a lot, eds. we're best friends. that's all."
"okay."
"promise."
"sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
"no, it's okay. only you, eddie."
eddie feels a lot, a lot better after that conversation. still, eddie is eddie and he can't help the jealousy, insecurity that claws at his throat.
he makes sure it doesn't affect your relationship, you deserve better than that, but he can't help it.
he's definitely always got a hand on you. your waist. wrist. elbow. thigh, if he's lucky.
you're none the wiser, you think he's just super touchy. because he is, he loves to feel you all the time. it's just much worse when you're around other people.
AND!!!!!! if someone actually does try to make a move on you and it's quite noticeable, he makes sure everyone definitely knows you're his.
will kiss you, probably too roughly, a lot more tongue than necessary, hands in places that you're definitely too shy for. hips, ass, the underside of your boob oh em gee.
you pull away dizzy, breathless. a little confused at his sudden show of over-affection. "everything okay?"
"yeah, yeahyeahyeah. you just looked really pretty. had to kiss ya."
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andvys · 7 months ago
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Oh em gee I saw your soft dom Steve headcannon would you be able to do sub! DWOHT Steve??? I luv him sososos much
18+, minors don't interact!
Sub!Steve would be so whiny and needy for you -- especially if you were teasing him all day already, with subtle touches and dirty whispers. The moment you get on your knees for him, this man is gone. If you started off with kisses on the tip of his dick and started to move down his length, teasing him like that for the longest time, he would start begging with whines. He would tug at your hair, look at you with his big puppy eyes and ask you to stop teasing through his whimpers.
He loves being in control, but he also loves it when you are in control -- especially when you're on top of him, riding him slowly, blessing him with praises and kisses. Steve can't do anything but look at you in awe and touch you softly, grab at your waist and your chest.
I think he would be a sucker for makeout sessions. Just imagine being on top of him, you're both still fully clothed, your skirt riding up as you grind against him. You are both so lost in the kiss, both moaning and tugging each other closer and closer. Your hands are in his hair, his are on your waist, and when you pull away to catch your breath, he chases after your lips, and you can't help but giggle when you see the state he is in -- his hair is a mess, his lips are not only puffy but they are also stained by your lipstick, his eyes are filled with nothing but need and lust, "don't stop," he'd beg as he softly pulls you back into another kiss.
You'd show up at work just to tease him in the backroom, kiss his neck and mark him up, maybe even give him a handjob -- and Steve is all there for it, he hides his face in the crook of your neck, whimpers and soft moans fall from his lips while your hand jerks him off -- "please please please" he'd whimper against your neck.
I could go on and on aaahh
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headkiss · 8 months ago
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honestly, the way you write Steve is amazing, you get his characterization so well... I'll read anything you write, but just the way you wrote spidey!Steve... I still think about him! I'd love to see how you do childhood friends to evential lovers with him, but I'll read anything you post (I'm a big fan of your writing honestly <3) Hope you never have a day of writers block ever <3
-cax
oh 😭 em 😭 gee 😭 thank you so so much!!! actually cannot express how much that means to me <333 spidey!steve is also a special one to me and i miiiiight have a blurb for him in my drafts right now :D i am very very lucky to have u reading lovely!! thank u so much <3333
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eddywoww · 1 year ago
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omgg latest blood sport chapter!!! whatatatatat!!:!:!’sdnsns its literally so good omg wtf??!!??!?!? and uhh hello?? the way eddie acted when he found the cut on steve’s thigh??? and the way steve got him to calm down and stop freaking out about it oh em gee😨😨😨 also THE DRAMAAA where is steve going off to at night?? does eddie find out who’s bothering carol??? omg give us a teeny tiny small silly little spoiler for the angst PLEASEEE.
(in all seriousness i LOVED the recent chapter! It was so hot and funny and ugh *mwah* perfection 🤌🏽)
🤫 that’s me keeping my secrets lmao
Thank you! I love a little obsessed overly protective Eddie who knows he’s Being That Way but can’t stop. Thank you for liking it 💕💕
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newagesispage · 6 years ago
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                                                          FEBRUARY           2019
 PAGE  RIB
***** I am over the moon at the suggestion of a biopic of Dave Letterman starring Michael Shannon. Will somebody think about really putting this into production??? Please??
***** Criminal Minds will wrap it up after this next and 15th season. The season 14 finale on Feb.6 will have Rossi’s wedding. They will spend the last season chasing after ‘a worthy adversary’ rumored to be played by Harold Perrineau as they jump ahead in time.
***** I am so touched by shows like Grace and Frankie and Schitt’s Creek that look right past the usually discussed issues for interracial and same sex couples .  Gee, just think, it’s like we are all the same.
***** If you haven’t seen Michael Bennet and his senate floor speech about Ted Cruz, government shutdowns and Trump, run to C-span and catch it. These things make me proud to be in a DEMOCRACY!
***** Can this be true?? The constitution of Texas states that one can’t hold public office unless they believe in a supreme being??
***** Julian Castro is running for President.
***** Kamala Harris is running for President.
***** Cory Booker is running for President.
***** HGTV is apparently working on a huge publicity stunt and ratings grabber. They have purchased the home whose exterior was used in the Brady Bunch. A show will reunite the cast, bring in some famous fane and remodel the inside to look like the Brady set. At the end they may give the house away.
***** Michael Shannon and Audra McDonald will team up to revive Frankie and Johnny in the Clair de Lune on Broadway.
***** Rashida Jones and Bill Murray will star in Sofia Coppola’s’ On the Rocks.’
***** Why isn’t extreme ironing a bigger sport by now??** And can we make Petanque a bigger thing while we’re at it?
***** Craig Ferguson is selling his LA compound.
***** China has landed on the far side of the moon!!!
***** NASA’s New Horizons has went further than anyone has gone before for our first image of Ultima Thule.
***** Kentucky has introduced a bill to ban abortion in the state.
***** Told to a reporter: “It’s your job to speak truthfully and precisely, not mine.” –Kellyanne Conway** The new book, Team of Vipers, suggests that The Conways are working in concert.  It is thought that she is valuable to Trump because she has no qualms about saying anything.
***** Super bowl LIII will host Maroon 5, Travis Scott and Big Boi. They will have no pre- concert interview. It is said that many artists turned down the gig because of the controversy. Maroon 5 has gotten some shit for performing but they caution us to just watch.** Roger Waters has asked Maroon 5 to take a knee during the show.
***** Natasha Lyonne is getting raves for her new show, Russian Doll.
***** Tom Sizemore was arrested for drug possession.
***** 6 NFL coaches were fired in one week!!!
***** Pentagon chief of staff, rear admiral Kevin Sweeney is out.
***** Rod Rosenstein is on the way out.
***** Jaymo’s, a Peoria company is suing Wendy’s over the use of their S’Awesome sauce.
***** We should enact the stop the stupidity act.
***** Why does it seem every other show on the air is sort of an entire season of a Twilight Zone episode?
***** There are more people in the Kremlin than in Washington who know what Trump said to Putin. – Tom Nichols
***** Members of congress can retire at full pay after 1 term. Children of congress members don’t have to pay back student loans. Is that true?? Can this be right??
***** Dupont is laying off workers.
***** Check out love your brain.com.
***** The Golden Globes were held and were hosted by Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh.  My best dressed was Isla Fisher, Elizabeth Moss. Danai Gurira, Julia Roberts, Carol Burnett, Emily Blunt, Lupita Nyong’o, Patricia Clarkson, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jameela Jamil, Rosamund Pike, Jim Carrey, Alison Brie, Gemma Chan and Bradley Cooper. Worst dressed goes to Rachel Weisz, Julianne Moore, Layra Dern, Anne Hathaway, Maya Rudolph, Rami Mlek, Molly Sims and Heidi Klum. I was so happy for winners like The Americans (highlight of the evening!!!), Regina King, Lady Gaga, Mahershala Ali, Patricia Clarkson, Darren Criss, Bohemian Rhapsody, Rami Malek, Olivia Colman and Green Book.  The Cecil B. DeMille award went to Jeff Bridges. The new Carol Burnett award started off with Carol herself. I was saddened that Bill Hader, Henry Winkler, Kieran Culkin, Keri Russell and Sacha Baron Cohen went home empty handed. The Fiji water girl got most of the press and gave much free advertising to her product.  Some of the stars did not like her getting in their shots to push a product without their knowledge, both a clever and sad state of affairs.
***** The Kominsky Method will be back for season 2.
***** The Sag awards had their big night and gave the lifetime achievement to Alan Alda. Winners included Emily Blunt, Darren Criss, Black Panther, Rami Malek and Glenn Close. I was especially thrilled with some love goingto Jason Bateman and Patricia Arquette. Best dressed were Amy Adams, Yara Shahidi, Brian Tyree Henry, Sydelle Noel, Eddie Griffin, Holly Taylor, Sofia Hubitz, Emma Stone, Emily Blunt, Darren Criss, Laverne Cox, Timothee Chalamet, Robin Wright, Lily Tomlin, Chadwick Boseman, Matthew Rhys, Keri Russell, and Catherine Zeta Jones. The WTF award goes to Alison Brie.
***** The Oscar race is on. Best picture could go to Blank Panther, Blackkklansman, Roma, The Favourite, Green Book, Vice, Bohemian Rhapsody and A Star is born. Black Panther also got some love for music and costume design.  Fingers crossed for Isle of Dogs in the animated category. Actor nods had a few surprises. Willem Dafoe and Rami Malek , Lady Gaga and Melissa McCarthy are up for leads and supporting mentions are for Mahershala Ali, Regina King, Adam Driver and Sam Elliott. I am so hopeful for Spike Lee and I want to hear that speech.
***** If you haven’t seen Trigger Warning with Killer Mike, you gotta check it out. He and Sarah Silverman should go on a tour of teaching acceptance for their fellow man.
***** So.. Fox news said that Ruth Bader Ginsberg was dead??
***** In sexual harassment news: Harvey Weinstein is hiring new lawyers.** Les Moonves is seeking arbitration with CBS.
***** Cher has sold her Beverly Hills cottage.
***** Cindy Crawford and Randy Gerber’s daughter, Presley was arrested for DUI.
***** CBS news has named its first female President, Susan Zirinsky.
***** What is happening to the butterflies?
***** Illinois has refused a concert permit to R Kelly and Sony has dropped him. The pressure is finally starting to pay off??
***** Get ready for biopics about Harriet Tubman, Elton John and Ted Bundy.
*****  NY mayor Bill De Blasio has given healthcare to every resident of NY city.
***** 25% of Russians do not have indoor toilets. Putin and his buddies have about $1trillion tucked away from London to Miami.
***** Days alert: I wonder if Leo’s real name ‘Matthew Cooper’ is a nod to out actor Chad Allen from Dr. Quinn??!! It is also fun to see Judith Chapman take on the role of Leo’s Mama, Diana. The pair played Mother and son previously on The Young and the Restless. Is she really Diana Colville from John’s past??** So Stefan has been played by Tyler Christopher who asked for some time off and a sub was put in place who will take over in March. Since Christopher left, he has since decided that he will leave permanently so things are up in the air. Will Stefan and Gabi hook up? Days has been renewed for season 55. HOORAY!!!! Ratings are up 4%. **Loved the line when Chloe told Rex he should wear a cup. **Leo and Xander’s playful “lust” was so sassy!!
***** Happy Valentine’s Day!
***** Steve Buscemi will play God on tv’s Miracle Workers.
***** So, the new Conan format has ups and downs. I miss the band and the desk but I am Loving the fade in and fade out at commercials. I have always hated the, “We’ll be right back “ nonsense. I was sad to lose a half hour at first but Conan and Andy do seem refreshed.
***** Still waiting for the release of Apple Seed which is written, directed and starring Michael Worth. It is one of the final films of Rance Howard who stars with his son, Clint, Adrienne Barbeau and the other Father and son team of Robby and Zephyr Benson.
***** The January Bob Segar concert in Illinois at the Peoria Civic Center is the top selling concert ever at this venue. Old rock acts take note.
***** Bob Costas is out at NBC after 40 years.
***** Trial and Error has been cancelled. BOO!!!
***** Steve Carell will star in Space Force which he is co-creating with The Office showrunner Greg Daniels.
***** Despite some people I admire that are giving Alexandria Ocasio Cortez a talking to like she’s a child, I say ‘Give ‘em Hell!’  She could well be President so fight girl!!
***** Word is that Karen Pence is now teaching at the Immanuel School in Virginia. The school refuses admission to students who participate in or condone homosexual activity. The application for the school states that misconduct includes heterosexual activity outside of marriage, homosexual activity, polygamy, transgender identity and use of pornographic websites. The application goes on to state that ‘a wife must submit to her husband’ and a pledge must be signed to that effect.
***** There is controversy over the bill to give people a day off for Election Day. Many people will still have to work, the country never completely shuts down. How many fucking times do I have to say it: VOTE BY MAIL!!!!!!!!!!!
***** So, Scary clown told us Mexico would pay for ‘the wall’. During the campaign he gave actual ideas for that like Mexico giving us a one time payout or else he would not allow Mexican immigrants to western union money back to Mexico. Another idea was that there would be a great ta on that Western union money. It does not seem like they tried any of that and just decided we would pay for the stupid ‘wall.’ How about the money he makes off Trump merch which his website and hotels still sell to pay for it?? How about the $35 million that Trump sold in real estate in 2018? The ‘Wall’ go fund me did not reach its $1billion goal so the $20 million they did collect is being offered for refunds. Some of those people still want that money to go for its purpose so Trump is creating a non- profit. Can’t we use that money to help the border patrol agents and get the backlog in immigration court moving?? That we are still talking about this ridiculous wall and that it had a go fund me page is enough to boggle the normal brain.** I think Kimmel said it best when he suggested that Trump just tell the red hats that the wall has been built.  They believe everything he says so why wouldn’t they believe that??  It would save the country a lot of headaches. ** What the Hell is with his new “wheels and walls” mantra??** Russia caused Brexit too? Putin is a menace.** Another sink hole appeared the White House. WTF?
***** The congressional budget office says the shut down cost the U.S. 11 billion
***** Trump is talking to Herman Cain about a job on the Federal Reserve Board.
***** The GOP is selling fake bricks that cost about 50 cents for $20 each to send to Senate Dems. Some have said that the Dems should sign them and sell them and give the money to government workers. ** Why are Russian jets fucking around on the North American coastline??
***** Roger Stone has been indicted on 5 counts of false statements, 1 count of obstruction and 1 count of witness tampering. The FBI officers who arrested him were part of the shut down and they still did their job!!  He publically and privately claimed to have communicated with Russia. Predictions are that many more indictments are coming down the pike that involve many familiar faces.** Roger Stone has a Nixon tattoo on his back. I feel sorry for his cell mate.-Bill Maher
***** Bill Maher got some flak for comments after Stan Lee died. He wasn’t slamming Lee, but wondered about comic book fans putting away childish things. I suppose that could include weed but point taken.
***** Jared Kushner along with 30 other White House staff was denied top secret clearance but Trump advisor Carl Kline overruled that decision and gave it to them anyway. This has never been done before, this is a job for intelligent agencies.
***** Empire star Jussie Smollett was attacked in Chicago in what cops are saying was a possible hate crime. The attackers were yelling that this was MAGA country, poured bleach on him and put a rope around his neck.  The actor was previously sent a letter full of homophobic and racist slurs which he FBI had been looking into.
***** Ellen page gave us some memorable, powerful words to chew on with her appearance on Stephen Colbert. I am sure she gave courage to many who suffer because of our hate filled administration.
***** Gwyneth Paltrow is being sued from a 2016 ski incident for 3 mil.
***** I gain more and more respect for Seth Meyers. I did not really understand the choice of him as host in the beginning. His notice of local stations, choice of guests and revolving drummers makes for a great show.
***** A Dutch company may have invented a small device that converts heat into cold and Forbes is saying, ‘it could save the planet.’
***** So looking forward to Ryan Murphy’s The Politician which will star Jessica Lange, Gwyneth Paltrow and January Jones.
***** I know that is has happened little by little and we go thru times in our history when things get worse and then things get better but… When did this country get so fucking corrupt?? I mean seriously.. Why is Brendan Dassey still in prison and why is there no real justice for Teresa Halbach? ** Why is Trump still in the White House?**Why are government workers being told to work for nothing?? Why is R Kelly still living it up?? Why are some states going backward in time when it comes to women’s health?? Why do many corporations care more about their own pockets than the children of their employees or the environment around them??** Why does our justice system so often punish big for small infractions and allow the powerful to do anything they want?? **Why is a wall a better idea than infrastructure or warm beds for the homeless or food for our children and why are so many children in cages??
***** How can it be that we are still in a world where people are not allowed to reach their full potential?? Why do so many selfish humans actually fight to live in a world where they actively hold others back? Shouldn’t we all be concerned about the greater good?  We should all be allowed to see a Doctor when we are ill. We should all be able to excel in education if we choose .We should all be able to get a job to fit our skills and work ethic.  Opportunities and the pursuit of happiness should be available to all. Why is this so fucking hard for so many to grasp in this world? Imagine!
***** Sundance premiered the new flick, Big time adolescence with Griffin Gluck and Pete Davidson. Pete has since made no bones about filming in Syracuse. He hated it.
***** Jeff Flake will join CBS news as a contributor.
***** Tom Brokaw is in a bit of trouble for saying Hispanics should work harder at assimilation.
***** The Tom Hanks/ Matthew Rhys film, A beautiful day in the neighborhood has pushed back its release date to Nov. 22.
***** People are illogical and self- centered. Love them anyway. -Hedy Lemarr
*****R.I.P. Bob Einstein, Millie Wiesehan, victims of the Torrance. Ca. bowling alley shooting, Captain Darryl Dragon, Jo Andres, Lamin Sanneh, Carol Channing, Sandra Harmon, Bradley Bolke, the victims of Mediterranean shipwreck, Lorna Doom, victims of the Florida bank shooting, Kaye Ballard, Willie York , Barbara Claman , victims of the mining dam collapse in Brazil and James Frawley.
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donutloverxo · 3 years ago
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Oh em gee!!! I thought this was gonna be a smutty dark fic but it turned out more like a classical tale of forbidden love😍😍 Your writing is just so fricking fantastic as always!! Some favorite gems from this -
“Would faith allow you to love freely? Is love really love when it is caged?”
How could he feel the love of whom he couldn’t see but not feel yours that you lay at his feet?
The love and need they have for each other makes my heart hurt. I know it may not be possible but I hope Steve does give up the collar for her some day🥺
Also yessss love at first sight is my biggest kink😭😭
Since Steve is so righteous, I can't help but imagine how would Priest!Steve be if he falls for a woman. I love a good scandal 😍
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Title: At His Alter
Pairing: Priest!Steve x Reader
Summary: You fell in love with a man already belonging to someone else.
Words: 1.5k
Warning: Priest Steve ( I have very limited knowledge about Christianity and the Church, no offense is meant to the religion), the reader is non-religious, angsty I guess. No smut but still 18+
A/N: This is my entry for the absolutely charming @wiypt-writes CATFA 10th Anniversary Challenge. I chose the prompt "Faith, huh?" . Thank you so much for hosting sweetie and letting me enter on such short notice!
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The sun was merging with the horizon in the distance, casting long rays that hit the stained glass and spilled its rainbow on the floor. You had always loved how the incense lingers in the air and seemed to stick to the pews. The musky scent of the candles and the wood had always calmed you, more so than the figure hanging on the cross did.
You waited behind for a while in the empty church, eyes fixed on his kneeling figure. Only a slight murmur of the words he whispered in secrecy to the Lord reached you, and you stepped back into the shadows to give him a little more privacy. His divine romance was one you wouldn’t interrupt.
“Join me.” His voice called, always even and smooth. He always knew when you were around. Your heels made sharp clicks as you walked and you stopped beside him, kneeling. Without looking at you, he handed you a candle and lit it with his own before closing his eyes and praying in silence. You looked at his face, the beauty that was etched in every line of it and memorized it to perfection. God was lucky to have such a beautiful servant.
He placed his candle at the alter and you did the same, taking the hand he offered you and standing. Even in heels he was taller than you, his shadow never-ending behind him.
“For someone who isn’t a believer, you are here an awful lot.” He teased, his blue eyes glittering in the light of the candles. You bashfully grinned, tucking your hair behind your ear and shrugging.
“I am a believer. Just not in this.” You said, pointing at the cross on the alter. He smiled bright, no offense in his gaze. He gestured to the pew and you followed him there, sitting beside him.
“What do you believe in then?” He asked, raising a brow at you. You looked him in the eyes, letting your gaze linger on his lips before dropping to the collar on his neck. His eyes met your again and yours turned misty.
“In love.” You whispered.
Father Rogers blinked at you before blushing, nodding his head slightly. Licking his lips, he opened his mouth and closed it again, clenching and unclenching his fists.
“Faith is love.” He said at last, and the sun sank outside. The only light inside was of sputtering candles and you couldn’t look away from their shadows that danced on his face.
“Faith, huh?” You said softly, placing your palm in the space between you both and inching it towards him. “Would faith allow you to love freely? Is love really love when it is caged?”
His eyes were on your hand that was almost brushing his cassock and his own fingers twitched. He cleared his throat before tearing his eyes away from you, focusing on the figure of Christ on the cross as if reminding himself of who he was.
“It was not Him who said to bound our love. Man decided that and blamed it on Him. He loves us equally.” Father Rogers said, and your heart started beating erratically. How could he feel the love of whom he couldn’t see but not feel yours that you lay at his feet?
“Would He allow us to love too?” You asked him, crossing the last few inches between you both and placing your hand on his. He was cold to touch, and he jerked as if he’d take his hand away from underneath yours, but it stayed. He gulped audibly before looking at you again, eyes troubled and sad, and yet the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen.
“You must not judge Him for the choices I made.” He said. “I took the collar knowing what it would entail. I am His, and I cannot belong to anyone else.”
A tear slipped from the corner of your eye and slid down your cheek, his thumb coming to catch it quickly. You sniffled because it was unfair that you loved him so much. If God existed, why did he make you fall for a man who could never return those feelings? Why did God make love hurt so much?
“If god was a woman, this shit wouldn’t happen.” You said, voice heavy with feeling. A laugh bubbled in his throat at that, reverberating through the church.
He leaned towards you as if telling you a secret and you couldn’t help but mirror him, coming in closer to him than you thought to be ever possible. “Don’t tell anyone I said this, but I think God is both.”
If love was an ocean, you drowned a little deeper. His hand moved under yours until it flipped, his fingers curving over yours, holding you with the same reverence with which he held his rosary. You instinctively squeezed tight, breath coming out sharply as you held his hand for the first time.
“When I first met you, I thought I was being tested.” He started, running a thumb over your knuckles. “I knew you weren’t here by choice. But you didn’t sneer at us. You respectfully went through the whole service. I was hoping you’d have gotten something fruitful because I never expected to see you again.”
You remembered that day, being brought here by your friends against your wishes. Religion and you didn’t mix, but you humored them that day.
“You were the most gorgeous priest I had ever seen.” You said, giggling a little. “My first thought on seeing you was ‘what a waste’.”
“Is that why you came back? Because I am gorgeous?” He asked.
“No. It was because I fell in love with you.”
Love at first sight didn’t exist, at least that is what you thought. But then you saw him. Cloaked in black and standing tall, you wondered if people worship him or their Lord. He spoke softly to everyone, talking to children and adults alike, smiling. When you followed your friends to him, he had talked to you as if he knew you since forever. You believed that. You believed that time hadn’t brought you together for the first time. His soul was familiar.
He was silent at your admission, this one confession weighing heavier on his soul than all others he heard in the booth. This was the first you had voiced it, but he knew. You didn’t try to hide it from your eyes and he read them like an open book.
“I was lost. Years ago, I fell in love and got my heart broken. It was then the Lord came to me. He loved unconditionally. There would be no heartbreak.” He said, looking into space.
“Did she cheat on you?” You asked, clutching his hand harder. His blue eyes met yours with past pain still lingering and you wondered if it could ever be washed.
“He died in battle and left me alone.”
Your lips parted at his words and your heart broke for him. Abandoning propriety, you shifted until his thigh touched yours and you could feel his side burning into you. Cupping his face you made sure he could look into your very soul, see your sorrow for him as well as the love you held.
“I am so sorry.” You whispered, lips centimeters away.
His eyes dropped to your lips and back to yours, a breath catching in his throat. He placed his palm over yours, pushing his face into your touch and savoring it.
“He would have approved of you. Bucky was always more popular with the ladies.” He said, sadly smiling.
You shook your head, always knowing that you would choose him over anyone. With one word from him, you would have laid on the sacred alter and let him ruin you with no remorse. He owned all of you without even trying.
“Will you ever love again?” You asked, heart stuttering in fear of his answer.
The night was falling fast and shrouded in the dark, his hand took yours and placed it on his heart. You felt it beating steadily below your palm and you wished to capture its rhythm and play it over and over as you sleep so every breath of yours was in sync with his.
“I already do.” He confessed, coming closer. “Father Rogers belongs to Him, and – and Steve belongs to you. I am sorry if all I can give you is the promise of the fact that my heart beats for you.”
Your tears fell swift, caught in his shoulder as he hugged you tight. There would be no nights spent in his embrace, though you had made love to him a million times over in your dreams. There would be no ring on your finger, only the collar on his throat. But as you wept on him, in his arms, you felt at peace. Love hurt so much, but it was a hurt like the sting of love bites left by a lover. Love hurt like the hug squeezed too tight. Love hurt like a mother’s womb expanding for its child. Love hurt like it did now.
“It will be enough.” You said, trembling as he pressed a kiss on your forehead. “My love for you doesn’t need the warmth of your body. Just the company of your soul.”
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expfcultragreen · 5 years ago
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Its my opinion that "when a boy picks on you" its because he has internalized a traditionalist value set premised on sexual subjugation (of women and people who are categorized with women on the basis that they fuck men*), and the right of men to enforce this subordinate role
[I realize that there are "boys" who pick on people because their life experience is that they are The underdog and everyone else is gaslighting them and deserves to be knocked down from being on high for this whenever possible, as opposed to held down by someone from on high, which the next "boy" in the same walk of life IS consciously engaged in][i realize i am describing myself to a certain extent. A fuller extent than it should describe me anyway. I do however always have that dan harmon argument with myself about "you dont have to side with the split" which i think is some shrink jargon he picked up from sessions, which indicates to me that his shrink thinks he has bpd. Or that bpd is made up and its specifically-masked ptsd, but the language of bpd is still a good toolkit? Anyway when "the split" is super intense i dont have any alternative to blowing up other than distancing, turns out im a really bad communicator irl]
And its my opinion that parents who disregard or applaud that aspect of gendered bullying, are bad caregivers who are screwing up all the kids' future relationships and ability to function prosocially, or socially at all in the case of people such as myself who would rather be alone than around people who think all this is fine (and might even be said to frequently be something of a lunatic fringe anti-patriarchy vendettaist, or something, which is apparently quite tedious for everyone who doesnt understand what we're robbing ourselves of by butterfingersing all this. It could be paradise out here. We could all be eating hydroponic grapes at the big drop-in orgy at the grownups only town hall for godssake).
Try to see the big picture and then explain it in as much detail to the kids as possible, dont just be like "oh dont you worry, by the time he's 13 he'll be simping for your bookstack, this is a phase". Its not a phase, its society. Until we as a society apply ourselves to adjustments, anyway; and .........i dont mean badgering your kids for not being perfect according to "the rulebook of oh gee we gotta shift society" because that just teaches that same anxious behavior, which precludes some useful childhood allyships from forming that you should encourage instead, AND sets the kids up with these heightened stakes about ethical mistakes that might make them hypervigilant and avoidant of or reactive to anyone they might offend.......yeah i dont mean to do that, thats kind of 90s based on my understanding of pc 90s life. What i mean is being graceful and teaching gracefulness, think tai chi vibe parental guidance, not rock em sock em shoutbots; flexibility over rigidity = strength rather than fragility. Learning to say "I'll have to think about whether youre right" is one thing, if you want kids to have something on the hip to go for besides "nuh uhhhh my mom said kids cant be sexually predatory/hateful/racist etc, so, im not"..."i hadn't thought of that/didnt know that but it fits with everything else i know about the subject so im entirely willing and able to take your word for it" is another generally useful sentiment. People might not have the patience for any of that if theyre trying to get you to be immediately accountable to them by being hostile about the criticism, but thats also something you can just, bend with, relax about... understand, even, in the moment its happening, even if youre not sure of where you stand or what the situation is exactly.
Just....
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*this gender-policing of people who fuck men is pretty common but, steve harvey saying "im talking about real men" comes to mind. Its also related to the thing in various cultures where youre not gay if youre an exclusive top and/or bottoming makes you a woman, but those systems arent as totalizing as "if youre not doing the male assigned stuff like procreating youre worth less than other male assigned people in much the way a female assigned person is worth less"
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donutloverxo · 4 years ago
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Gxjdnsndjjsk AHHHHHHHHH
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That ending OH EM GEE!!
And Bucky being cryptic!!
You're making me fall for Clark girl. He's such a cutie. Also imagine having shower fun with him UGH! 🥵🥵
CLARK>>>>STEVE
Can't wait for more girl😳😳
Not Your Forever - Chapter 3
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Reader, Clark Kent/Reader
Word Count: 2,403
Summary: Steve Rogers made a choice…and it wasn’t you.
Chapter Summary: A brief chat leaves you with some questions. No Steve in this chapter, lovelies. Sorry! This is not beta read and any and all mistakes are my own.
Please let me know if you’d like to be added (or removed) from tags!  Divider by @whimsicalrogers​ .
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“Rise and shine,” you heard as you opened your eyes. The smell of chocolate chip cookies hit you, which put a smile on your face as you remembered how you met Clark.
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eliniei · 6 years ago
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Those Hard Days - Chapter 9
Summary: Rae’s brother always made sure she was tough as nails. But when her father flips her world upside down, will she find that there’s a limit on how strong she can be?
Warnings: Rape/Non-con (non-graphic, fade-to-black), child abuse, underage drinking, underage smoking, drug use, violence, major character death
A/N: this is kind of a weird chapter? I dunno if it makes much sense, but you meet another key player in the story and it sets in motion a lot of the rest of the story so I didn’t want to get rid of it. As usual, I hope you love it!
AO3: here Fanfiction.net: here
Masterlist
Previous Chapter |  Next Chapter
Chapter 9 - Note
When Rae came to, first thing she saw was the swirls of Steve's hair. He was sitting on the floor of the Curtis’s front room, leaning his back against the couch, watching some late-night show. Her eyes shifted to the clock, but the room was too dark, even with the light of the television.
She shifted, trying to sit up on one of her elbows. Steve must have felt her movement, because he was turned in an instant, forcing her to lay back down.
“Nuh uh- don’t move.”
“What happened?” she croaked, her throat dry. “How’d I end up here?” Pain flared in her head and she winced. She lifted her hand to feel her temple, but he grabbed her hand and laid it back across her stomach. Really, with as much abuse as her head has taken lately, she’d be surprised if there wasn’t some kinda damage.
“Don’t touch. What do you remember?”
“Not much.” She didn’t want to think. “Losin’ my cool earlier. Punchin’ a wall.”
“You ran off. We thought you just needed to let off some steam, but you never came back. Soda got ahold of Darry and he said we’d meet here after work and look around town.” She made to sit up again, the pounding in her head making her feel like she might hurl. “Please don’t sit up.”
"No. I'm alright." He didn’t look convinced, but he helped her into a sitting position. “And then?”
“We got here and Dally had found you. Someone had knocked you out cold, reopened the wound where your father had...Anyway, we got you cleaned up and here we are.”
“Dally was here?”
“Oh yeah, still is. We made ‘im take a break and sleep in Soda’s old room.”
“And what time is it?” Steve turned and squinted to see the clock.
“‘Round two in the mornin’.” He yawned.
“Don’t you got work?”
“It’s okay, you’re worth it.” Rae felt a warmth spread through her body that she hadn’t felt in a long while. She also felt an overwhelming need to hug him.
“I’m sorry about earlier,” she said, her voice muffled against his neck.
"None of that, kid," he said, wrapping his arms around her back. "You asked me to stop and I didn’t. I shouldn’t have pushed ya.” He released her and took on an air of authority. “Now, go back to sleep." She obeyed her friend and fell back onto the couch.
When Rae woke again, daylight had started streaming in through the windows and Steve was gone. Slowly, she sat up. The throbbing in her head was still there- but it was reduced to a dull roar. Dally walked in from the kitchen without a shirt, holding a steaming mug and still looking drowsy. When he saw his sister, he seemed to snap awake, instantly.
“Hey kid,” he greeted her. She made a repulsed face.
“Put a shirt on, man. No one wants to see that.” He smirked, set the mug down on the coffee table and knelt in front of her.
“Nice to see your sense of humour ain’t gone. Let me see.” He motioned towards her head. She obediently turned around and could feel his hands in her hair. It made a chill run up her back. “Looks okay now. It was bleedin’ like hell yesterday.” When Dally was finished, she turned back around to face him. He tugged on the pink lump still stuck in her hair. “How’d you manage this?”
“Some Soc gettin’ back at me for the spitballs,” she answered him as he picked up his coffee again and sat down next to her.
“Never gets old, does it?”
“I’ll get ‘em back good soon. So, where’d you find me?”
“You were near Shepard territory, actually, in that little middle class area,” he started. “Tim an’ I were out drinkin’ and liftin’ some ‘caps when we found you sittin’ against the wall in an alley. You were barely awake, and said your head hurt.” Rae narrowed her eyes, thinking back to the day before. She couldn’t recall any of it.
“I don’t remember ever goin’ out to that part of town yesterday. Maybe I was headed to see Curly?” Dally shrugged and took a long drink.
“No idea. We loaded ya into Tim’s truck and brought ya here. You sure were bloodied up real good. Looks like whoever did it tried breakin’ your nose but they didn’t hit ya hard enough. They probably heard us comin’ and scrammed. You always did have a mighty hard head. Sure do look like hell, though.”  She sighed through her nose.
“Gee, thanks. Can’t we go one day without anythin’ happenin’?” Rae complained. He leaned back and stretched his arm out behind her.
“Nah, then it’d be too boring.” She shrugged, took the mug from his hand, and took a large swallow. The liquid was hot and seared her throat on the way down. Once she’d handed it back, she leaned into his side.
“I should probably get a shower.” Neither of them moved. They both watched as Darry walked into the kitchen, seemingly unaware that they were sitting on his couch. He made a few sounds as he prepared to make his brothers breakfast, but came out holding the mostly-full glass carafe. He looked at them, confused.
“Dally, did you make coffee?” he asked, bewildered. The three of them looked at each other for a few seconds and broke out into soft laughter.
After breakfast, Rae sat on the edge of the bathtub while Soda helped her wash the blood and gum out of her hair. His hands were gentle on her head and she closed her eyes, relishing the feeling.
“What happened to Steve?” she asked as he massaged her scalp.
“Found him passed out in my bed when I went to my room to get some clothes. Dally must’ve switched places with ‘im. Alright, all done.” He handed her a towel and she went to work drying her hair. “I’d better go wake him up, anyway.” He stepped out of the bathroom so she could finish up.
She pulled a clean t-shirt over her head. It wasn’t her normal style, but it was either wear a shirt borrowed from Ponyboy or wear one with blood all down the front. Whatever- she could wear her jacket all day, anyway. When she looked in the mirror, her nose was an angry red, and there was a bruise coming in under her eyes. She caught herself staring at her face and her chest swelled. A little progress.
Rae put her hair up so it wouldn't sway around and aggravate the wound on the back of her head and left the bathroom. Ponyboy was standing in the front room, trying to dust off her jacket. He handed it to her and she examined it. There was dirt all over it, and the collar had a bit of dried blood stained on it. Nothing they could do about it now. She slipped it on, hand catching on the fraying cuffs, and left for school with a quick wave to her brother.
Two-Bit met them in the hall and handed over her backpack.
“Glad to see you’re feeling better,” he observed, elbowing her softly. “You still look like hell, though.” She rolled her eyes.
“You an’ Dally sure know how to compliment a girl.” A balled up piece of paper hit her right on the forehead. She looked up towards the person who threw it.
"That dirt looks good on you, grease," a Soc boy laughed, trying to provoke her. She frowned, but didn’t rise to the occasion. Two-Bit shoved him along.
“Oh, get outta here,” her friend commanded. The kid went on his way, still snickering to his friends. From there, the trio started heading to their classes.
"So, do you remember who did it?" Ponyboy asked as the walked down the hallway
.
"No, I-," she started. "I don’t remember much. I thought I heard a girl’s voice but I really ain’t sure.”
"Man, I’da been scared to death if it’d happened to me," Ponyboy confessed.
"I didn’t really have the chance to be scared, I guess. Whoever it was made sure I was knocked out before they fuckin’ punched me in the nose. Coward.” Rae went to touch her swollen nose, but recoiled and hissed from the pain. She really regretted not popping a couple of Aspirins before she left this morning. “But, someone told me that I can’t let it drag me down, so I’m going to give it my all." Pony nodded, watching her out of the corner of his eye. She stopped outside an open door. "This is me. See ya’ll later." He and Two-Bit said their goodbyes to her and quickly went to find their own classrooms before the bell rang. She turned on her heels and walked into the room.
When she reached her seat, a small girl with dirty-blonde hair pulled back in a bun was sitting on her desk, facing away from her. With a playful smile, Rae dropped her bag on the floor under her desk and got up real close to the girl.
“I see you made it back alive,” she breathed, right into the girl’s ear. To her credit, the other girl didn’t jump, but a visible shiver went up her spine. She turned and a wide smile broke out onto her face.
“Rae!” She jumped up and excitedly wrapped her arms around her friend. Rae winced a little, but let it happen.
“How ya been, Carrie?”
“Oh, alright. Wasn’t much of a vacation, really, just a good ol’ visit to see the grandparents. Buck said it was gonna be borin’ and didn’t wanna be away from the bar and the rodeo for that long so it was- What happened to your nose?” She opened her mouth to answer but their teacher walked in the room. As they both sat down, Rae motioned with her pencil. Carried nodded.
As the teacher started class, Rae started passing notes to her friend. She’d started from the beginning, with everything Carrie had missed out on while she was gone. As the story went on, the notes from the girl in front of her came back angrier and angrier.
"Miss Winston?," the teacher drawled, three quarters of the way through class. She looked up from her note to find him standing at her desk. He held out his hand. "Give it to me." Rae looked around. Everyone was staring at her. She debated tearing the damn thing up, shoving it in her mouth- anything. He must have realized what she was thinking because he reached out and grabbed it before she could act. She cursed herself. The teacher read the note to himself, then looked down at her. "Out in the hall. Now," he ordered. She glared up at him, but left the room.
Rae leaned against the lockers on the other side of the hall and stuffed her hands in her back pockets, silently summoning the spirit of her brother to possess her. A few minutes later, her teacher came out, holding the note in one hand.
"Anything else you'd like to tell me?" he asked. She shrugged.
"Stay out of it," she said, nonchalantly, keeping her voice even.
"I'd say that I'm pretty involved, now," he said, holding up the note. "I’m going to have to tell the principal about this. The police will most likely be informed as well." She gave him her best tuff, wild Dally smile.
"Don't get involved," Rae repeated. "Or you’ll be sorry." She saw movement behind him and watched as Carrie snuck out the door and snatched the paper out of his hand. “Ain’t nothin’ to a hood, right?” Her friend handed it to her. She ripped the note up and put the pieces in the back pocket of her jeans to dispose of somewhere else. A few seconds later, the bell rang. Students started piling out of the room, dodging their dazed teacher. Rae gave him another dark smile as another greaser girl handed over her backpack.
“Thanks, Chrissy.”
“No prob,” she answered with a red-lipped smile. With a wave and a pop of the gum in her mouth, she headed for the cafeteria to find her boyfriend, large hoops swinging from her ears as she turned.
At lunch, Rae told the boys what happened.
"This is bad," Soda stated. “Can you see if you can get moved to another class?”
"If your teacher tells the fuzz, they could take you away," Steve noted, as if she didn’t already know. "They could take you far away."
"I know. I wasn’t thinkin’,” she groaned.
“Well, that’s obvious,” Steve said, flatly. Soda elbowed him. “What? It’s true.”
“You don’t need to be so blunt.”
“What, you think she wants to be babied?”
“Well, no, but-”
"I been thinkin’ of swiping some foster parent paperwork. Ya know, in case it happens. Mom would take you," Two-Bit announced, his mouth full of candy. At least, that’s what she thought he said.
"Don’t you think you should ask her first?” Rae wondered out loud, unable to help the giggle that came out of her mouth.
"Nah, it don’t matter. She wouldn’t say no to you."
"Anyway,” Soda interjected, serious written all over his face. “We'll talk to Darry and Dally when we get home," Soda said. “They’ll have some ideas.” Well, that sure wiped the smile right off her face.
“Dally’s gonna kill me,” Rae sighed.
“Better to get a good yellin’ than not tell ‘im and get taken away,” Steve concluded.
"Alright, alright," Two-bit said. "We gotta get going. Lunch is almost over."
Rae stared out the window of the passenger seat on the drive back. Johnny, sitting in the seat behind her, placed a hand on her shoulder.
“It’ll be fine. We’ll get it worked out, yeah?” She placed a hand on top of his and squeezed.
“Thanks, Johnny.” She appreciated the sentiment but she wasn’t sure she felt any better.
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haravath0t · 4 years ago
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A Christmas Heist - Epilogue
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: fluff, word count, fluffy Bucky!
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Hi guys! Here it is! The official last part of A Christmas Heist! I wanted to include an Epilogue to offer a nice little ending to this mini series! I’m a bit hesitant to let go of Bucky in his elf costume, but alas, he has been in the costume for too long for his liking! I cannot thank @hailhydra920​ enough for being able to request such a lovely idea! Just gonna do a peep on the aftermath of the heist! As always, enjoy reading!
Main Masterlist
A Christmas Heist Masterlist
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One downside of working alongside Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes is the fact that they recover much quicker than you do after missions. Although Steve was pretty beaten up when you all showed up in the med bay of the Avengers Compound, he recovered quick enough so that he didn’t need dire medical assistance. It was not the case for you sadly, being thrown and fought by Rumlow and his goons did not make you come out of this mission unscathed. 
“Yeah… she had a few broken ribs, she also got a deep gash on her side that we stitched up, some bruises… I think the blood loss from her cuts must be why she got unconscious on the way here... and I am sure when she wakes up, she’ll have a horrible headache. She’s gonna have to be on bed rest for a good 5 weeks or so. I am going to send the medication for these in a few,” Bruce remarks, looking up at the two super soldiers, still in their Apple Store clothes and an elf costume. “Well, she’s had worse… but I bet it’s painful. Thanks for taking care of her, Banner.” Steve responds, nodding in understanding as Bruce makes his leave. Steve looks over at Bucky, whose eyes had never left your unconscious form on the hospital bed. 
“You seriously care for her, don’t you, jerk?” 
“Huh?” Bucky asks, quickly turning his head to Steve as he hears Steve let out a chuckle. “You care for her,” Steve repeats. “Who wouldn’t, Steve?” Bucky responds, as he goes back to patching up Steve’s cuts on his own seat. “I know, but it’s cute, seeing you get all frantic about her.” He chuckles, shaking his head as he fidgets with the hard drive. “And that’s the last of em, punk. You’re all patched up.” Bucky remarks, smiling a bit at his work before his best friend stands up. “Thanks, Buck. I’m gonna go ahead and return this to Fury, gonna go ahead and start on the report for this mission. Need anything?” Steve asks, turning back to Bucky. “Y/N’s blanket and mine please. That big Disney one, her speaker thingy, and water please.” Is Bucky’s simple request. Steve only nods before he strides away from the med bay. Bucky turned to your resting form, smiling a bit as he looked for your nurse, asking her to teach him how to find songs on his phone. The nurse was more than willing to help him out, laughing when the metal-armed super soldier grins when he sees the title of his familiar songs, thanking her as she walks away.
It wasn’t long till Steve came back with what he asked for before meeting with Fury. Bucky managed to connect his phone with your bluetooth speaker in 7 minutes, a record for him. He had to tell you later. He didn’t dilly dally at all to play some Glenn Miller faintly on the bluetooth speaker, reaching out for your hand to hold it and kiss it gently. “Hey, sweetheart.” He whispers into your hand, smiling a bit before getting your blanket and laying it across your body comfortably. “You did great on your first undercover mission, you know.” He whispers, taking his seat. “Did such a great job.. When you wake up we are going to have the most relaxing holiday, you’ll see,” he whispers with a smile, waiting for your eyes to open. 
It did not take long for you to slowly open your eyes, you winced at the bright light that was shining above you, groaning softly at the sight. Bucky perked up when he heard you, smiling wide. “Great, you’re awake.” He whispers softly, making you smile as you felt his lips press themselves gently onto your forehead. “Buck,” you whisper hoarsely, trying your best to ignore the shooting pains that you feel all over your body. You let your eyes blink slowly a few times to get adjusted to the light before turning to your left to see your boyfriend, laughing quietly as you see his elf hat drooping as well as his Buddy costume getting dirtied. Your boyfriend smiles at this, shaking his head. “Oh stop laughing at me.” “It’s just so cute that’s all. It was funny to see you and Rumlow fighting too… if it weren’t for the predicament we were in, I would have laughed my head off.” You whisper softly, thinking about the time where a similar situation had occurred in the Elf movie. Bucky only shakes his head, letting out a chuckle before he calls the nurse that you’re awake. “Hold on, sweetheart, I’m gonna get our change of clothes, okay?”
“Can you stay?” 
“Huh?”
You only pout, a blush forming. “I...I was hoping if you could stay… maybe hop on the bed and then we can change when I’m fully ready to be discharged?” you offer, smiling when Bucky agrees, putting down the railing of the bed and gently adjusting the IVs so he can gently embrace you. It was warm. It was comforting. It was wonderful. You lazily kiss his cheek and nuzzle into his neck and chuckle softly. “Shameful.” You whisper. “What’s shameful?” Bucky asks. You couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. “I’ve had worse scenarios. I shouldn’t be in here, right now. Should be in our room.” You reply as you shake your head, “It’s embarrassing that I’m in med bay after an undercover mission.” 
“It’s your first one, Y/N, it wouldn’t be completely perfect. You handled it perfectly, without the help of a super soldier strength too. You should be proud.” He replies, running his hands through your hair. You couldn’t even gather enough energy to fight him. You didn’t have energy to even doubt his words. You knew that he meant it. You knew he believed in you, and that made all the difference. So, you just simply take it. 
“Mmm… how about the current status of the scene? How is the mall?” 
“I’ve been told they blocked off the area for the day, the agents and Rumlow are taken into custody, and our things from the apartment we’ll get tomorrow. Fury has the hard drive now, Steve will do the report on it. But, the specialists managed to get a hold of the hard drive’s information, and in short, we are fine.” He responds. “Thank goodness,” You huff in relief, closing your eyes much nicer knowing that the job is done. 
“And the diagnosis of my injuries?” 
“Few broken ribs, a deep gash on the side, and bruises. You’re gonna have to be on bed rest for 5 weeks.” “Dang, the whole holiday?” You ask in shock, carefully tracing where they had operated on your rib. You feel Bucky nod above you. “Yes, ma’am. But don’t worry, I think I have a few ideas on how to make those the most relaxing 5 weeks you’ve had.” He says with confidence. “You always know how to make it fun, Buck.” You smile. 
“It’s cuz it’s always fun with you, sweetheart. I’ll bring you dinner, okay? Then after, we can find the way to kill time.” 
To say the least, you were more than happy with the outlook of this, and you never wanted anything more than to spend it with the man in the elf costume.
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kneekeyta · 7 years ago
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Hey! How was the concert? I love Fleetwood Mac and Journey!
Hi lovely!! OH EM GEE!! It was an effing blast!!!! Ughghhh! Journey was AMAZING (even without Steve Perry hehe) it was a really good show! The energy was insane! And they dedicated "Lights" to Steve so that was nice!And then of course Fleetwood Mac was just 😱😱😱😱😭😭😭😭 seriously so magical! They put on an epic performance! After "Landslide" Stevie said it was dedicated to Glenn Frey, which everybody was emotional over! And omg Lindsey Buckingham killed it on the guitar! His finger picking skills are insane!!!!! I was in complete awe! Just yeah the entire night was epic! And I really loved how involved everyone was, like the audience! Singing so loud! You could feel the intensity, it was vibrating! It was an absolute blast! I don't even know what else to say, lol! I should also mention Earth, Wind and Fire were pretty fantastic as well!Everyone put on an amazing show really! 😆😆xxThanks for the ask, m'dear!
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