#also not trying to make anyone feel bad for encouraging me to publish for that isn't the goal.

[fawnprincessblog]

Hi everyone, guess who's back.

After 2 months of absence i've decided to bring myself back on here and explain some things that have happened.

💗

After publishing a post a while back regarding incest, i had recieved a lot of hate since then. When i posted it I had no idea how much hate I was bound to receive from all of you once you guys saw it, and honestly i didn't think it would get that much attention. After realising it was clearly causing so much hate I posted an apology, which all you also thought was total shit, so I deleted that too.

And right after, I was bombarded with an ungodly amount of death threats through my inbox, people asking me to kill myself and end it. It was a whole lot, and I really didn't think that one measly post would set you guys off so fast. And honestly I was surprised to see how much there was. My inbox was full of them, and I couldn't handle it all.

Soon enough as expected one person had gone anonymous, sending inbox messages to my followers to report the 'heinous crime' I've committed by posting one silly thing, which by the way, put out a lot of false information. The person was over exaggerating, putting shitty words in my mouth. And I'm here now to talk about all the accusations the person has made. To the people who recieved the inbox message, here's your real explanation from the blogger who made the damn posts.

1. I 'nonchalantly' wrote twincest about Tom and Bill.

First of all, I have never in my life intended to ship the damn twins. If you have checked tumblr well enough, you should be aware there's tons of threesome sex fics about Tom and Bill, where they both fucked the reader at once. And if you fucking bothered to read my fic properly and not jump to conclusions to try so damn hard and cancel me, you'd know damn well Tom and Bill never even touched eachother in the fic that I wrote. They didn't have sex with eachother, they didn't DIRTY TALK eachother, and they did NOT do anything that would have come across as incest.

They both simply fucked the reader and talked to the reader, having nothing to do with each other in the fic. Get your damn facts right b4 you try to sound like a fucking smartass.

2. I want to be 'chained up and used.'

Kinks and fantasies everyone, c'mon. People have FUCKING KINKS. And mind you, this is tumblr. If you srsly see shit like this and start acting out because it makes you sad then clearly it's not for you so like just scroll? You have a damn finger, don't you? Unless, y'know, you cut the damn thing off.

Anyway, I think it's pathetic you're acting all petty over it cause you wanna cancel someone so bad and be the fucking hero of the day. Nobody cares, cunt.

3. I wanted to 'abuse' Bill.

To clarify this one, I do agree that the term 'abuse' was too strong. I don't intend to fucking abuse the poor guy, I just had no idea how to fucking word my sentence and how I was trying to get the damn message out. I've already edited my post on this one. So, chill out.

4. I'm 'anti-lgbt'?

This shitty one has been going around a LOT ever since I posted something regarding how annoying Bill was in the Kaulitz & Kaulitz series, where he talked alot about his sexuality.

First of all I'm not fucking homophobic. To let you guys know I am a Catholic Christian, (ik, not a very holy one) and supporting the lgbt community is definitely not on the list. And even if so, I do not disrespect anyone who's part of it. We aren't told to treat you guys any less. And for me, although I never encouraged the idea, I don't look lower on the person. Even I myself catch myself in a 'lesbian-feeling' situation sometimes.

And if you've seen the comments on the post I made about that Bill thing, all the comments agree with my anyway. We all collectively agree he went a little overboard but so what? I'm just saying. Suck on that, stupid hoe!

5. I support pedophilia.

Babe, check the post again and see how many people were totally okay with the damn post in the first place. I have never agreed ever that pedophilia was okay, and there's tons of older Tom fics with this age gap. Please, istg, do your research before crying over spilled milk to save yourself the embarrassment.

And, to let y'know, who ever sent these inbox messages, one of the friends that you sent these to—I think her name was 'pain of l0ve' or smtg—was totally one of the biggest supporters on that post asking for a full blown fic of older tom and the 17 year old girl. She uses to be my follower too. Dw, I have a screenshot before she blocked me and tried to act all shocked and surprised that I post those malicious things you said! ^^

mm...that really pissed me off ngl 🤷‍♀️

Anyway, that concludes it. Hope this answers your questions about all this misinformation that this person has spread in attempt to cancel me.

I also just want to put it out there that I'm really sorry for posting something like that, and now looking at it I do agree that it was weird. I apologise for anyone who got uncomfortable. All the death threats I've received weren't necessary though. I don't ever think it's right to go that far on anyone. Please be mindful sometimes. Other than that, I'm really sorry.

And I also wanna thank @itsangelll for being there for me when I couldn't answer all the haters myself. Girl you really helped me out, standing up for me and explaining the situation. Ilysm always 💗💗

But for the cunt that sent out all the inbox messages, I hope you had fun doing so anyways :3 I really do appreciate all the stalking and effort you put in just for me so you could cancel me and be heard! 🥺 Seriously the hero of the day! You really read through all my stuff so you could dig out the littlest things! Talk about dedication!! Quite obsessed I must say.

Kisses, love ya! 💋💋💗

[thefiery-phoenix]

YANDERE ERASERMIC X READER

It's been over a month since Hizashi and Shouta kidnapped you and you were going crazy out of boredom and with nothing to do. They assured you that living with them wouldn't be THAT bad since they could take care of your every need and you would never have to work again. 

To top it all, you were also quirkless but having a smart brain didn't exactly help either since hizashi and Shouta made sure to destroy all possible means of escape for you. They rarely ever punished you and most of the times, punishments included leaving you isolated for a few days and having your favorite things take away from you (YES, even the CAT!) but to be honest, life with them wasn't ALL bad... they were nice and caring towards you, in a sickly manner of course that sometimes made you want to barf

You were sitting on the bed that you shared with your captors and you were watching a movie on Netflix on your laptop. You were bored out of your skull and weren't focused on the movie. You missed your old life dearly and you've always wanted to be an author and get your work published. Suddenly, an idea popped into your head and you immediately started typing away on your laptop

After a few days, you finally decided to post your work online on Wattpad since you had a Wattpad account and you were an author there (Lol, I feel like I'm breaking the 4th wall). It had asked you to log in but failed even after you entered your password repeatedly. You decided to check your email to see if there was something wrong and when you entered your email id, you couldn't log into THAT too

''Hizashi, why am I not able to access my email?'' you screeched from the couch that you were sitting on while Aizawa and Mic were making breakfast for you. They came out of the kitchen sat next to you, cuddled you and Aizawa said, ''Now now kitty cat, don't tell me you don't know WHY we disabled your email now do you?'' 

''You. did. what?!'' you asked in a steely calm manner since you knew it would be pointless to waste your voice against them. ''Aww.. come on little songbird, don't be like that. We did it for a very good reason and it's for your safety. Who knows WHAT sort of emails you'll be getting from WHAT sort of people. They could try stealing you away and you would be in GRAVE danger without us and that's why you need ONLY us'' Hizashi chirped like he was explaining why he couldn't play with you 

''But.... I just need it for something. I swear I won't try contacting anyone! You guys can even be next to me if you want'' you pleaded with them as they traded curious and worried looks. ''Kitten, do you have a fever?'' Aizawa asked placing his hand on top of your forehead. ''Leave me alone, I'm fine'' you said grumpily

''What do you even need an email for anyway?'' asked Hizashi all curious like. ''Well, I've written a story and I want to publish it online so people can read it'' you said. Silence. That was NOT a good sign

After a few seconds, you heard Hizashi laugh and say, ''Oh you mean that action story which you wrote? It was quite good and amazing. Shouta and me liked it but tone down the violence all right baby? We don't want our precious little darling getting all violent thoughts now do we'' and started cooing

''Wait.... how did you guys even read it?'' you asked them confused as Aizawa said, ''From your laptop of course. You can't hide anything from us you know kitty cat'' and pet your head 

''So.... is it a yes?'' you asked them slowly. ''NO'' they both said in unison as you looked at them with sadness in your eyes and asked ''WHY NOT!?'' They hated seeing you sad. It broke and shattered their hearts into a million pieces, but they had to be firm with you

''We won't stop you from writing your stories and books. In fact, we'll encourage it but why do you want to share with the other underserving SCUMBAGS and filth who don't deserve to read your beautiful work?'' asked Aizawa. ''That's true and besides the internet is getting to be dangerous place nowadays so I think we'll have to limit your time of use on your laptop. We don't want to affect your health and it's all for your safety of course'' chirped Yamada enthusiastically as you leaned back in Aizawa's touch, silently crying as Hizashi wiped your tears away 

You were 100 percent sure that now they would CERTAINLY change the laptop password or make you use the laptop under their supervision for a limited time or not even LET you use it... but what could you do? You were helpless and powerless against these so-called pro heroes who wanted to save you from all the ''dangers'' in the society and you couldn't do anything but follow their rules and abide their conditions 

''Now come on and have some breakfast'' chirped Yamada and dragged you towards the kitchen as you saw Aizawa eyeing the laptop suspiciously. You knew you weren't going to use it any time soon, that was for SURE......

[wikifuck]

Writeblr intro

Hello! I'm KAKi, I go by he/him and I write original fiction (I suppose if I were to find a fandom I liked I would write fanfiction too)

About my writing:

I like writing character-based stories, so my main genre is romance, but I love learning and branching out. I like having a "gimmick" in my work, so I often write fantasy because magic gives more variety.

I like writing short stories and novellas that usually turn into series. I want my work to be easy to jump into and satisfying to put down once you are done reading. This is probably a bad marketing tactic, but I don't mind being unmarketable.

I generally strive to write stuff I would myself want to read. This means grounded, soft and cosy stuff where most conflict comes from the world and not from the relationships. I don't really care for melodrama. I had a traumatic childhood, so I like seeing the characters I like happy and thriving. I also try to keep my casts of characters diverse and nuanced, feeling more like real people than characters. Is this an impossible task? Maybe, but I like having a goal to work toward.

You can find my Wattpad and my first book here. I have so far published a fantasy romance novella, a collection of fantasy short stories and some standalone horror short stories.

My WIPs:

You can find the post containing my WIPs here

Genres:

-Fluffy Romance

-Fantasy

About me:

I was born in 2002 and I live in Finland

I started writing regularly in 2020, but I have been a storyteller all my life. I lost quite a few friends as a kid due to info dumping to them about my stories too much ^^'

I'm neurodivergent and part of the lgbta+ community

I have a fascination with psychology and families/family trees, and I incorporate both into my writing

I would like to be a director of my own show one day

Why am I here?

I started this blog in hopes of finding new friends, finding mentors and peers who like reading/writing and getting feedback on my writing and how to improve the way I write characters from different groups and backgrounds.

I would like to encourage constructive feedback on this page as much as possible. As an autistic person, I find the lack of feedback in my normal life frustrating.

Suggest me things, ask me things, infodump to me about the shit you like, introduce me to your fav Thing and get me to make it my whole personality for a week!

When it comes to beta and alpha reading, I'm of course always looking for new ones as my projects move forward, and I will also do it for you in bite-sized chunks.

For anyone worried about spam liking/reblogging/commenting, don't be. Give me all of it. And feel free to tag me in any games, tho maybe DM me how they work first in case I'm too chickenshit to ask.

[monstersinthecosmos]

I don't want to publish that anon bc naming names feels sketchy to me but can you fucking imagine showing your entire ass like that and the only person on your side is like a known drama starter who really shouldnt be fucking talking lmfao and can you imagine being so loudly & proudly wrong about something and doubling down on it instead of listening to well-reasoned and friendly objections ! what a horse to bet on !!!

Like I do think that behavior like this is probably coming from a deep need for attention, and I think sometimes people pick fights and act unpleasant because they come to (even subliminally) desire the adrenaline/dopamine of causing an argument or being confronted. That's why I think engaging in drama (aside from generally being a waste of time lol) can be really unproductive. Like, sometimes when you take the bait you're actually enabling this person in something destructive, and maybe it's more morally appropriate to ignore it (thus taking their toys away) while also being sort of like, petty and funnier to know that they're floundering and desperate for a response. 😳 I mean is there any bigger fuck you than to ignore anon hate and know that this jackass is refreshing your page 80 times a day waiting for a response? LOL.

And like I'm human like anyone else, I do say these things and try to be principled and there are days I really just lose it and can't shut the fuck up LOL. I think personally I get very upset when someone ELSE is being harassed, or like, when bad behavior affects the entire fandom. So I apologize for any time I came in and acted immature or vagued anyone because I really do my best to be direct and speak to people directly! But sometimes they delete your comments so like fuckit man I tried lol.

In general I'm a big believer in like, writing what you want to read, and that extends to creating a fandom you actually want to be in. So I try not to engage in drama or share discourse (even when I agree with the talking points!) because I think of my blog like a little scrapbook of things that make me feel happy and creative and I want to protect that. I want that to be my contribution in a fandom, to share things that encourage creativity ! But now and then when someone is being a real fuckin twat you also have to stand up for each other and protect the space in that way, too.

What we're not gonna do is shame creators and chase them out!!!! If you don't like someone's work, keep that in your group chat! Don't be a fucking twat!

[oddmawd]

Hello! I just wanted some clarification as to why earning some income off of fanfiction is this horrible unethical act.

Do fanarts and zines also apply under this copyright infringement and if so, why are those works allowed to make some profits but not fanfiction? To me it seems like a double standard, especially because I seriously doubt anyone making either fanart or fanfic are claiming that the characters and story are their own original works. Blatant plagiarism and profiting from it is one thing but receiving some income because someone really likes a fan work is another.

I understand that in extreme cases, authors can sue, like you mentioned Anne Rice but in most cases, the authors tend to be chill with fanworks? They know it encourages engagement and hell, some of those big scary publishing companies that you seem to be wary of actually scout fan artists and writers to bring on board for their next projects.

And it's not brought up often in these arguments but Anne Rice herself became lenient towards fanfics of her original work in the last couple years before her death, even apologizing for her behavior then.

So while I understand the concern for lawsuits, I just don't see how writers and artists are "late stage capitalist dicks" for earning an income off fanworks that are clearly stated and implied to be the original works of the author and not their own.

typically i'm a "never assume malice where ignorance can serve as an explanation" kinda person, but YEESH, it's hard not to perceive hostility in this one boys, here's why:

1) i never called writers and artists "late stage capitalist dicks," and putting that phrase in quotes to make it seem like i did tells me you're not here for productive communication...that intentional misquote showcases either a blatant attempt at weaponizing intellectual dishonesty OR a lack of reading comprehension on your part, one i doubt i can correct through anonymous tumblr asks

2) "why are fanzines allowed but fanfics are not?" presupposes what you think my position on the matter must be, but i haven't expressed my opinion on fanzines, let alone voiced a double standard in favor of them...this is (once again) a blatant attempt at putting words in my mouth and/or a complete misread, intentional or otherwise, of what i actually stated...and in fact i said in a comment that fanart ALSO exists in a legal gray area, so you didn't do your research very thoroughly if those are the words you're trying to put in my mouth (solid attempt tho, 6/10)

3) i ALSO didn't call anything unethical, as you claimed in your comically hyperbolic opening line...i called selling fanwork illegal. morality and legality are not the same thing, so whether your mistake regarding the differences between legality and morality is the product of ignorance or malice, the fact remains that it's yet another blatant misread of what i said, good job there buddy, you're batting a thousand

i could dig further into the bad-faith rhetoric oozing from that ask (the sheer hyperbole and melodrama of it + the litany of loaded questions are an immediate sign it wasn't sent in good faith), but i think i've made my point LMAOOOOOO...but to sum up, i have very little interest in engaging with you when you're talking in SUCH bad faith and with such an antagonistic tone...you're misrepresenting SO MUCH so blatantly and with such confidence, it gives me zero confidence in your desire to actually learn or explore these very interesting issues...you just wanna argue and twist my words, and i'm not gonna enable that bad behavior by giving you more to twist

but look bruh, i get it: you're feeling insecure and defensive over a comment about being careful about monetizing your fanwork, and you took a post about the concept of capitalism and its impact on the arts so personally you confused comments made about capitalism itself for comments about you as a person...but this hostility is NOT a commensurate reaction to what i said and i'm shocked you think otherwise, and if you want to have this conversation, we can...but only once you learn to argue respectfully

TL;DR: i doubt your ability to engage in good faith so i'm not going to respond earnestly, as it'll be a waste of my time...reread my posts after you've had time to release this defensive energy...engage with what i said, not with what you THINK i said...have a nice night and best of luck to you

[destinygoldenstar]

☀️ AnalyzGolden's Reactions To Disventure Camp Season 1: All Eliminations, Plot Twists, Etc. *Merge COMPILATION* ☀️

This Post is compilation of my reactions to Disventure Camp's Eliminations, Plot Twists, & Overall Big Moments.

For those of my followers who don't know, Disventure Camp is an independent animated YouTube show by OddNation Cartoons, that originated as a Total Drama fanfiction.

But due to legal stuff (Fresh TV HATES it when fan stuff of their shows get attention), they found a way around it by changing up the show to make it original, with completely original characters and settings. Because of this, they remade the first season after Season 2 was already done and published, and the remake (which is the version I watched) is the one that is canon to the show's story.

Btw, the original Season 1 that they made before this drama is now considered the 'beta' version, and it's not canon to the show's story. So you don't HAVE to watch the beta to understand anything, but it's there. (maybe one day I'll react to that too)

Obviously, BIG SPOILERS for this show.

So if you haven't watched it yet, I encourage you to watch it first and then check out these posts from me. The show is free on YouTube. They have it both in English and Spanish.

Check Out This Post For A Fast Travel To My Full Reactions To The Season

I AM planning on making more posts about this show, so look forward to those. (Including A Tier List post, compilations of the more funnier bits, etc)

With the exception of a couple of meme bits, THIS COMPILATION POST WON'T CONTAIN THE SCREENSHOTS. Tumblr has an image limit of 30 images per post.

So if you want the screenshots, see my episode reactions.

I also had to split this into two parts (again) because it got too big and Tumblr wouldn't allow it.

<< Premerge Compilation

Without further ado, let's get right into the CHAOS that ensued with this!

Tom's Termination

Why is Tom depressed?

"Can we speak?"

"I'm trying to wallow in the darkness in my heart."

"Shortly before I came here, I ended a relationship that was very toxic and I got hurt."

Oh he's telling Tom this. Okay. I approve. He deserves to know.

How many people have he told this to? Miriam, Ellie, now Tom?

"HEY GUYS, DO YOU THINK JAKE WAS IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP?! I CAN'T TELL!"

I'm not annoyed by it, I'm cracking a bad joke

"These aren't excuses for how I've been treating you, but I want you to know I feel terrible."

You yelled at him ONCE. And you apologized for it three times now.

I wouldn't count that as "I've treated you terribly this entire time".

I'm glad he's making this clear though. He knows when to take accountability.

"I said I was sowwy, pwease fowgive me!"

"I have a hard time trusting people, Tom, I just... talking to you makes me forget sometimes how shitty life can be. I don't want to lose that."

This is actually good on Jake's end. He's explaining his situation to Tom, not excusing it, and trying to be open and honest.

"After all this is over, I would love if... you and I... we... continue-"

"Jake."

Why is Tom so pissy? He wasn't like this last episode.

"I got a call last night... I got fired."

😨

WHAT?!?!?!?!

HE GOT FIRED?!?!?!?!?!?

WH-WH-HOW?!?! HOW-?!

*Golden.exe has stopped working*

OH MY GOD...

I DID NOT EXPECT THAT BEING WHERE THIS STORY WAS HEADING.

SO HIS MISSION FAILED?!

Maybe he'll explain it. I'll keep listening.

"A video in which YOU mentioned my work was uploaded to the Internet and my boss saw it."

OH...

*covered mouth* Oh my god...

JAKE, YOU FUCKED UP BEYOND REPAIR

THERE IS NO REPAIRING THIS

You got your crush fired, now you suffer significant consequences for the rest of your days.

Well Tom is DEFINATELY not gonna want to be around you ever again.

"I'm so sorry-"

"Not now."

"Tom, if you need anyone to-"

"I SAID NOT NOW."

*storms off*

GOD...

I can't imagine how that makes Tom feel though. Getting fired because of a guy you liked...

OH WAIT CAUSE I PUT TOM IN THE HEADING LAST EPISODE. SHIT. I CAUSED THIS.

I THOUGHT I DIDN'T JINX ANYONE LAST EPISODE.

Episode 8 Elimination + Gabby/Ellie Kiss

"Tonight, we won't just be reading the votes..."

OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH MY GOD IT'S A TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND REFERENCE

THEY DID THIS SAME THING ON THEIR FIRST MERGE COUNCIL TOO

'GABBY'

YEAH YEAH WE KNOW...

OH GOD I'M SCARED NOW...

IT'S EITHER GABBY OR JAKE AND BOTH ARE GONNA HURT

'GABBY'

"This is for getting me out of today's challenge."

BEEF.

'GABBY'

And then it's gonna be all the Jake votes piling up.

'TOM'

OH WAIT THEY'RE VOTING TOM. WAIT A MINUTE.

NO IT'S TOM THAT'S GOING.

I mean I'm not saying that's a bad move, it's a good move, but...

'TOM'

OH I'M SORRY TOM. THIS IS IT FOR YOU.

'GABBY'

WAIT WHAT??!?!?!?!

NOOOOOO!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?!??!?!

SHE'S ON YOUR SIDE!!!!

"Now without Gabby, Ellie will have no choice but to return with us to her old alliance."

SHE WAS ALREADY WITH YOU, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT!

THAT RUINS YOUR CHANCES TO ALLY WITH HER!!!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!??!!

'GABBY'

OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

NO COME ON THAT'S BULLSHIT

THAT'S A BULLSHIT GAME MOVE!!

DON'T DO THIS!!!!

'GABBY'

😨

"Gabby. That's six votes. You're out."

GABBY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I'm actually HURT

I'm actually DEVASTATED...

OMG GABBY NOOOOOOOOOO

Okay, I'm calming down...

GOD I'M MAD. I'M SO MAD.

"I knew something was wrong."

HUH, at least now Ellie KNOWS who to trust, right?!

At least Jake came CLEAN about who his alliance was voting for! Fiore's DIDN'T.

HUH, I WONDER WHICH ALLIANCE I SHOULD SIDE WITH

That's a nail in the coffin. Ellie is NEVER siding with the villains.

I hope that gameplay was sounded smart on your ends.

Okay no I'll talk about this later.

"They ruined my plans."

OH YEAH NOW SHE'S OUTTED.

Fiore, you fucked up your entire game.

"You can make fun and celebrate all you want, but it won't last long! The three of you are still outnumbered."

OOF. And she just flat out said it.

"I am NOT working with you after this! You can't make me!"

"If you still had your totem, you could've saved yourself."

Yeah... should've kept that idol.

OH WAIT I PUT GABBY IN THE HEADING, I JINXED HER ELIMINATION, GODDAMMIT!!!

NO, I CAUSED THIS!!!

I SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT HER IN THE HEADING!!!

"I'm happy I saved you. You're the only person here who has ever taken me seriously, and possibly the only person I've ever met who has made me feel... valid."

💗

"Because you are! There's nothing wrong with you."

YOU BET THERE'S NOT. YOU'RE WONDERFUL, GABBY.

"I hope we'll keep talking when this is all over."

"We will."

*Kiss*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

YEEEESSSS!!!

*I got a 'Speak No Evil' trailer ad*

WOW. TONAL WHIPLASH THERE.

Tom Face Reveal + Tom/Jake Kiss

"Any update about your job?"

He got FIRED. I don't think you get an update after that.

"Anyway, I haven't been sure for awhile if this is what I really want..."

Oh?

You didn't want to be a spy?

"...or if I'm even good at it..."

Uh...

Yeah, you weren't, I'm gonna be brutally honest.

You can find a new job. One that you love. One where you can work AND maintain relationships.

"You think you weren't meant to be a spy?"

"I don't know. But it's not like I have a choice anymore."

Yeah... that's a hard situation. I can relate to that.

AH-!

OH MY GOD.

I DIDN'T-OH MY GOD...

"I don't work there anymore... I don't need this..."

So he WAS wearing that for his job! So he's ditching his career?!

OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH...

Oh THAT'S why...

I was thinking awhile it would be that he had a scarred face, but I wasn't sure. AND I was joking about it this whole time. God I feel awful now...

I'm trying to look at this properly. What happened? Was he in a fire or something? I can't tell cause it's a cartoon, but that MIGHT be burn scars?????

I don't know, maybe he's gonna explain it.

"My first job was a couple months ago. I was sloppy and I got found out. Things went wrong, and my captors... gave me this..."

😨

OH MY GOD, HE WAS TORTURED?!?!?!

HOLY-I DIDN'T THINK THEY WERE GONNA GO THAT DARK WITH IT.

Holy god, I can't even imagine. I don't want to imagine Tom getting tortured like that.

"The boss wasn't happy. I was tasked to come onto this show as a contestant to investigate it. This job was my last chance, and I blew it."

Ouch...

"Were you using that mask to hide your identity or... were you...?"

"That's just an excuse. The truth is I... I felt ashamed..."

Aw...😢

"But you look good, Tom."

Awwwwww...💗

*Kiss*

...wwwwAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH

OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH MYY GOD!!!!

*I got out of my chair and paced around for a minute*

AAAAAAAHHHH💗

*I'm giddy and out of breath*

I didn't expect them to kiss today... oh my god...

YEEESSS!!! I FEEL VALIDATED!!!!!

Oh my god, Tom Face Reveal. AND... ship name kiss, IN THE SAME SCENE. That's too much for the feels.

Jam. It's Jam isn't it? I don't have jam on me right now.

I actually don't like eating jam. I'm not a jelly person.

Okay okay okay, I'm sorry. I'll keep going.

"...I'm not."

Aw 💗

"Attention campers! Challenge time!"

Oh screw you!

They're good for each other. They're actually good for each other.

I HAD MY DOUBTS. But they do work.

*I had to get water* (Y'all keep your dirty jokes about that)

Ellie Gets 'Disarmed & Killed' (BLOOD TW)

"What happened with your mask?"

Oh yeah they don't know...

God it's SO WEIRD seeing Tom without the mask now.

OH SHIT-

UM, HELLO?!?!?!

IM SORRY, WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!?!

“What the hell is that?!”

My thoughts exactly Ellie!

DID THEY WAKE UP IN THE FUTURE?! WHAT'S HAPPENING?!?!

I'M WATCHING A TOTAL DRAMA FANFICTION, RIGHT?!?!

"It looks like a-a-a person..."

"Like a dead person?!"

Tom, you killed a guy!

OH GOOD LORD-

YEAH WE'RE NOT WATCHING DISVENTURE CAMP ANYMORE

If you asked me what my predictions were for this show: "Let's make a PLOT TWIST in the middle of the show and turn it into a zombie apocalypse 'The Walking Dead' show" Would NEVER be on my list.

WHAT THE HELL

I mean if you know me, you know I like death game stories...

But surprisingly, I don't actually like zombie apocalypse stories. It's not just my cup of tea.

Because zombie apocalypse stories are just so bloody hopeless and there's absolutely no way out of inevitable fate. It's just "This is hell, wait till it's your turn to die."

And I just naturally find that less compelling than stuff like Hunger Games, Squid Game, and Danganronpa, where there IS a possibility to escape your fate, even if it's really small.

With these kinds of stories, I'm just waiting for everyone to die. So I get less attached.

That's just my opinion.

"Did you hear that?!"

"Sounded like gunshots!"

"Don't worry guys! It's just Tom killing a man! It's fine!"

"I KISSSED A SERIAL KILLER?!?!"

I mean, I WOULD say this is all a stage show. Like these are just people wearing makeup.

BUT YOU CAN'T FAKE TOM KILLING A GUY.

UNLESS YOU'RE A PSYCHOPATH WORSE THAN CHRIS MCLEAN

XD

"I don't care if he's a serial killer! HE'S MY LOVE! WE'RE LETTING HIM IN. WHAT'S THE WORSE THAT COULD HAPPEN?!"

"What's going on?!"

"Ellie why do you have ketchup splashed all over your face?"

"They looked like people, but they're not!"

"I would never kill a man! I swear!!"

"What if it was a woman?"

"...shit!!"

"Is that... a bite?"

OH SHIT

They're not gonna KILL Ellie, right?!

Cut off her arm, and she might be saved!

"...well, one step closer to winning."

GRETT. WTF?! YOU"RE A PSYCHOPATH!!!

I mean I'm not surprised. BUT WTF?!

"I think we... have to... cut off your arm."

NO I WAS JUST JOKING, YOU'RE ACTUALLY GONNA DO IT?!?!?!?!?

"GOLDEN IS OUR OVERLORD AND SHE TOLD ME TO SAVE YOU BY CUTTING OFF YOUR ARM!!!"

"Isn't this just a silly challenge?!"

GOD I HOPE SO

CAUSE THIS IS FUCKED UP

OH MY GOD THEY'RE ACTUALLY DOING IT...

I'M SORRY ELLIE!!!

"So... this ISN'T a challenge?"

YOU THINK?!?!!!

NOW YOU REGRET IT?!?!

"I think I'm gonna faint."

I WOULD TOO.

ELLIE NOOOOOOOO

Alec & Miriam 'Die' (BLOOD TW)

Tom is probably the most equipped for surviving this.

OH GOD-

YOU CAN'T JUST HOLD A CHILD AT GUNPOINT, TOM

YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT.

"I'll put one right between your eyes."

Tom, you're done.

OKAY, RIP ALEC

Tom is NOT fucking around!

"Tom! Are you okay?"

"No worries. I got a body count in the double digits now. Cool, huh?"

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

MIRIAM NOOOOOOOO

WHAT?!! THAT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE!!

"Miriam, stay with me!!"

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO...

NOT THE GRANDMA

"Don't leave me!!"

AWWWW JAKE NOOO😢

He's losing another grandma! 😭

"Coming to this camp was worth it... I didn't think my last days would end like this... but I'm happy they were with you... you are the grandchildren I never had."

😭💗

HE'S YOUR GRANDSON. DON'T LEAVE HIM.

NOOOOOOO

"Not again!!" *cries*

AWWW JAKE, HONEY NOOOOOO 😭

Don't Make Jake Suffer Challenge. Level: Impossible.

Yeah lets just cut to a six year old driving a bus. Why not?

I'M STILL MOURNING

Fiore Murders Everyone Else (BLOOD TW)

"I don't know... I don't think this will ever end..."

Can we give Jake a hug? PLEASE?

"Hey... at least we have each other."

THANK YOU💗

THEY LOVE EACH OTHER💗

NO GODDAMMIT

FIORE WHYYYYYYYY

“Hey guys! I got another trick I wanna show you. It’s called: ‘BURY YOUR GAYS’”

*Jake gets killed too*

Goddammit...

NOT A SIX YEAR OLD MURDERING MY BOYS

HOW DID WE GET HERE?!?!??!

"I'm sorry Grett, but I need this immunity."

Wait what-

*Murders Grett*

WELP.

This is how we got here.

A six year old is celebrating among her victims.

"WHOO HOOO!!! I KILLED EVERYBODY!!!!"

WHY IS TOM IN THE FAMILY GUY POSE?!?!?!?!?

"See that's my secret Golden. My mask protects me from getting killed, so I'm just faking my death."

"...oh wait I'm not wearing my mask anymore. SHIT-"

It Was All VR

...

WAIT WHAT THE FUCK?!

IT WAS ALL VR?!

I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.

HOW DID WE GET HERE?!??!?!?!?!

"Oh my gosh, my arm! I have my arm!"

"Oh my gosh, I've been in a coma for a MONTH! Cause I died on the first day!"

"Victory is mine! MIIIIINNNNEEE!!!"

All Fiore cares about is winning.

When a six year old is an even worse psychopath than Grett.

"Am-am-am I dead?!"

Jake. Honey.

EVERYONE is going to need SERIOUS THERAPY after this.

HOLY SHIT THAT IS TRAUMATIZING.

I can't even blame Jake one bit. He watched his friend get turned into a zombie and die. He watched his surrogate grandma die. He watched his boyfriend die. He watched HIMSELF die. AND IT WAS IN THE SPAN OF A MONTH

...nah, therapy ain't fixing him.

"A few hours ago, you fell asleep, and we put you through our hyper realistic VR simulator."

You guys are fucked up.

Even Chris McLean is saying that's fucked up.

"I'm just glad I have both my arms again."

Ellie's just done.

"Yeah TOM! Don't cut a woman's arm off! I'M VOTING YOU TONIGHT."

Watch it actually be Tom that's going and that's Ellie's reason.

I feel like Tom's story is done anyway.

"The challenge was to survive the zombie apocalypse."

You can't survive a zombie apocalypse. Either you DIE, or you DIE.

"Wait, so you KILLED ME to get immunity?!"

YEAH.

If THAT doesn't prove to you that Fiore is FUCKED UP BEYOND REPAIR, idk what does.

"Weren't we in an alliance?"

"We were. But we got exposed last round."

ARE YOU DITCHING GRETT?!

YOU NEED HER FOR NUMBERS.

Idk why I'm asking at this point. These villains plans have been stupid these past two episodes.

I mean, it's not THAT bad here because there was no other option after they killed Tom & Jake. So...

I won't rant this time.

"You'll be distorted for a few more hours, adjusting back to our time, getting back to your body, all that kind of stuff."

"And you'll probably need YEARS of therapy."

Episode 9 Elimination

"What do we do? We have to decide between Alec or Grett."

Yeah, obviously.

At least Ellie doesn't hold beef about the arm thing.

*Grett Voted Alec*

Aaaaannnndd the villains are turning on each other.

Idiots.

*Fiore Voted Grett*

Wait what are you doing?

"That game is the closest I'll ever get to legally shooting someone in the face."

Fiore you are a psycho.

*Alec Voted Grett*

"Now that we're exposed, we don't need you anymore."

Welp. Grett's gone.

Unless the heroes voted Alec...

'ALEC'

We know.

'GRETT'

'ALEC'

OH THEY DID VOTE ALEC. WAIT A MINUTE.

'GRETT'

THE HEROES VOTED ALEC. WHERE ELSE WOULD THAT COME FROM?

'GRETT'

...wait what?

'GRETT'

Wow. Didn't even need to read all the votes.

Who threw their vote on Alec then?

*thinks about it*

Jake, why'd you do that? There's no reason.

"I might be thinking about turning on the heroes, you know?"

*sigh* Queen's time to go.

"Fiore, Alec, even though you betrayed me, I won't lie. I had a good time with you."

At least she's taking this well.

"It will be difficult, but I'll try and take what you said to heart. I'll stop trying to prove anything to anyone. In fact... that includes you."

"FUCK ALL OF YOU. PEACE OUT!!"

😂👏

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS

Queen Queen Queen Queen QUEEEEENNNNN

👑

SHE SLAYED TILL THE END

...LITERALLY

Immunity Idol Found (x2)

"I found the clue to the location of an immunity totem. It should be right here."

NO WHY WOULD YOU TELL HER THAT-

Okay he doesn't know of her thinking about flipping, to be fair. But still.

"I sure hope no one STEALS this idol or anything!"

They're gonna steal it.

Ellie's gonna tell Fiore & Alec, "Hey guys, I know how to save you guys. Tom has an idol. Steal it from him and use it for the council."

That's definitely a plan!

CAN YOU TELL I'M PARANOID SINCE THE START OF THIS EPISODE?

"This is Golden speaking in your head. There are impersonal ways to play this game and save yourselves. You DON'T have to hurt Jake that way. DON'T YOU DARE. I WILL give him slay pass and I WILL torment you the rest of this season!"

"COME ON! Why Jake?! What did he ever do to you?!"

"This is not good. That totem gives Tom more power than he already has."

THEN STEAL IT.

PROBLEM SOLVED.

A Compilation Of 'STEAL THE IDOL'

"I sure hope no one STEALS the idol or anything!"

They're gonna steal it.

Steal it from him and use it for the council.

THEN STEAL IT.

steal the idol from Tom when he isn't looking

OR STEAL THE IDOL.

JUST STEAL THE IDOL.

"But how would they steal the idol?"

And when they're gone, STEAL THE IDOL.

JUST STEAL THE IDOL FROM TOM AND FLIP

Okay. Steal it.

NO YOU DON'T. STEAL IT.

STEAL THE FUCKING IDOL.

You could've just stole the idol.

😭Just steal the goddamn idol...😭

AND THEN. STEAL. THE. MOTHERFUCKING. IDOL.

STEAL. THE. FUCKING. IDOL.

So if you STEAL it

and steal the idol.

YOU COULD'VE JUST STOLE THE FUCKING IDOL.

She could've just stolen that motherfucking idol and all her problems would've been solved.

But you could've just stolen that godforsaken idol from Tom and you wouldn't have had to destroy anyone.

ME AND THIS IDOL HAVE BEEF, IF YOU CAN'T TELL

Episode 10 Elimination

Elimination already? Damn...

This is gonna be UGLY...

"I did my part. Now who are we going to vote for?"

You know what the weird part is? I don't even know how this benefits you guys.

Tom has an idol.

You didn't even have to gaslight Jake. You could've just stole the idol.

I'm pretty sure the game NEVER said that the person who got the idol was the only one who could play it.

😭Just steal the goddamn idol...😭

"Vote for Jake."

What?

Oh my god, what are you doing??

Why gaslight him then?!?!?!

"Jake, we need to talk."

"Fine. I guess I should give you a chance to explain yourself."

PLEASE. PLEASE TALK.

NOOOOO DAMMIT

Don't break them up, please... 😭🙏

"I don't know what's wrong with Jake this time, but I'm sure it was your fault."

YES. YES IT WAS.

So they are voting Jake...

So they're gonna keep their mouths shut and not worry about the idol?

I mean if they don't know Jake's in danger, they can't play the idol, right?

I THINK that's what they're doing.

"Wait. I have something to say to Tom."

...what are you doing?

"It's about Jake and all the drama surrounding him."

What are you doing? I thought you were gonna keep your mouth shut.

What's your plan? You WANT Tom to realize you're using Jake?

"Oh wait, shit! It wasn't Jake's fault this time! Welp, guess our alliance is back!"

But they already voted, so... goddammit...

"I care because it was all a lie."

"Ellie told Jake that Tom has a boyfriend and he was cheating on him. She kept them from speaking to each other all day."

WHAT IS YOUR PLAN HERE?!?!?!?

WHAT WAS THE POINT OF GASLIGHTING JAKE THEN?!?!?!?!

"Wait, what?! Is this true?!"

Oh shit now he realizes.

"Goddammit Jake, you promised you would talk to me this time!"

DID YOU NOT HEAR HER?! ELLIE WAS PREVENTING HIM FROM DOING THAT!!!!

IF HE COULD, HE WOULD HAVE.

WHY ARE YOU GETTING MAD AT JAKE?!?!

"Tom, I didn't know! I tried to talk to you, but Ellie told me not to!! Please you have to believe me!!!"

HONEY NO...

"Why are you listening to her?!"

"I thought I could trust her. I'm sorry Tom..."

"And you didn't think you could trust me?! After everything we've been through?!"

💔

I mean, okay, that is valid. That is on Jake.

"Children, children, stop fighting please!!"

Aw Miriam 💔😢

"Wait, this doesn't end here."

OH MY GOD WHAT NOW?!?!?

"Tom, we know about your totem."

WHAT IS YOUR PLAN HERE?!?!?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

DO YOU WANT TO GET ELIMINATED?!?!?

"Alec, Ellie, and I voted for Jake. So if you don't use your totem to save your little dumb boyfriend, he's gone tonight."

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?

SO YOU'RE ASKING TOM TO USE THE IDOL. WHY?!???!! THAT SCREWS YOU OVER.

Unless she's lying and she and Alec flipped...

But THAT WOULD BE EVEN WORSE.

You betray Ellie, YET AGAIN. You LOSE HER as an ally.

Unless you're trying to boot her and have her be 5th place. BUT THEN YOU HAVE JAKE AND MIRIAM AS AN ALLIANCE TO WORRY ABOUT.

YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THIS. YOU DON'T NEED TO GASLIGHT JAKE. YOU DON'T NEED TO SAY ANY OF THIS SHIT.

Just convince Ellie to be on your side to get her to flip, vote for who you want out, convince Tom & Jake to go do something that forces Tom to leave the idol behind...

AND THEN. STEAL. THE. MOTHERFUCKING. IDOL.

THAT IS THE EASIEST AND CLEANEST SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR DAMN PROBLEMS.

AND YET YOU CHOOSE TO DESTROY THESE PEOPLE INSTEAD AND MAKE THINGS TOO BLOODY COMPLICATED.

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!?!?!?

"I'm sorry, I just can't leave here 4th place. I know if I stuck with you guys, I'd never make the finals."

"And you decided you'd mess with my personal trauma just to get further in the game?!"

YESS!! BE PISSED!!!!!!! CALL HER OUT!!!!!

"You're screwed up Ellie. You need help!"

"Actually... yes."

*snicker* Okay, that was good.

"I don't ever want to talk to you again!"

"No need to yell like that."

UM, LET'S BE HONEST. I THINK JAKE DESERVES TO BE VOCAL HERE. HE WAS GASLIT BY YOU GUYS.

"Times running out Tom. What'll it be?"

Don't play it Tom.

They're tricking you. Don't play it.

Though that's kinda bad on his end, cause that'd be him saying "Nah, fuck you Jake. Go to the bus and drive it to hell."

"Tom, please, I know I've been bad, but I promise, if you save me, we can talk tomorrow and work things out!!"

I don't think that's gonna happen...

He's begging so bad here 😭

You screwed up Jake. You screwed up...

"What's stopping you from believing another lie they tell you tomorrow?"

Insert my rant before here.

"Tom, I get that you're mad at Jake, but if he goes, you and I will go right after."

No I don't think that's how it's gonna work...

My heart is HURTING right now btw. I'm actually shaking.

"Why are you so relaxed?! If Tom plays the idol on Jake, we're screwed!"

EXACTLY. WHAT'S YOUR PLAN HERE?!??!?!?! IT MAKES NO SENSE.

"Can I please read the votes people?!"

The host is just done with it...

"I'm going to use my totem to save Jake."

Aw....

Even after everything he loves you... 😭

No...

They flipped. They HAD to have flipped...

'JAKE' *DOESN'T COUNT*

Oh no...

*I'm burying my face in my hands to hold back wet eyes*

'FIORE'

They flipped.

She's so unbothered. They flipped.

'FIORE'

They flipped.

*DREAD* THEY FLIPPED.

Is the next one Tom?

'TOM'

I KNEW IT

I KNEW IT OH NOOOOOOO...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO😭

'TOM'

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

I have a bad feeling... Jake voted Tom cause he was mad.

He was trying to throw his vote on Tom to save the trouble, AND IT BACKFIRED HORRIBLY.

'TOM'

*Buries face in hands again*

I can't... I can't... no...

"I wonder whose fault that was."

Yeah...

"Tom, I'm sorry, please, you have to forgive me-"

"SHUT UP."

"YOU AND I ARE DONE. DON'T EVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN."

💔😭💔

Oh my god...

Oh my god no...

No...

Oh god...

So... I'm not welling up bawling or anything...

But I am SHAKING.

I am SCREAMING.

I am on the verge of CRYING.

I fell nauseous, so add THROWING UP on that list too.

I'm so upset.

I mean I get it, villains gotta villain, but holy shit...

They were doing so well too. They could've been so great together!

THEY COULD'VE GOTTEN CHINESE TOGETHER LIKE THEY WANTED

GODDAMMIT...

This is some shit Heather would do.

And did.

I mean... compare that episode to this episode as much as you'd like. I don't really care.

My heart is actually sunken right now.

That hurt.

I think this elimination broke me.

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH?!

Is Jake pissed? He's gotta be.

The Host's Crimes

OH HEY!

I thought you guys were eliminated! What are you doing here?

OH SHIT...

Um...

I didn't think we'd be dealing with MURDERERS...

Holy shit this just got a lot darker.

"When I found out at the hotel that Derek and Trevor were exterminating the animals in the forest, I was about to take justice into my own hands! But I remembered that the last time I tried, things didn't end well..."

"And how did you know it was them?"

"I may or may not have threatened the hotel receptionists so they would tell me the truth."

Oh my god Gabby, I love you XD

"I did all your spy work for you! You're welcome! Torture always works!"

(No it doesn't)

"I wanted to call the police! But with my record, I knew they wouldn't listen to me, so I remembered that you're a cop."

So Gabby's a delinquent...

Honestly I'm not surprised.

Also Tom was a spy, where'd you get this from?

"Then what are you? A ninja?"

XD

THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS ENTIRE TIME.

Me Getting Enraged Over Ellie Hurting Jake

Oh they made it. Cool.

Who gets the immunity though?

Talk it out? Please?

"Only one of us can win..."

"If you give this to me, maybe I'll forgive you."

Yeah, he does need it.

The opportunity is open, Ellie! Redeem yourself!

COME HOME. COME TO THE LIGHT. GET YOUR FRIENDS BACK.

"You know what? You can eat shit and die."

WHAT?!?!?! ELLIE NOOOO

NO YOU WERE DOING GOOD

WHY?!?!?!?!

"And 'BOO HOO, AWWW, I GOT CHEATED ON'. GROW THE HELL UP JAKE."

WHAT THE FUCK?! 😠

"You say you're a victim, but you're really just a sponge for drama. You feed off the smallest setbacks, acting as if the world's against you."

😠

"Tom probably saw it too."

DON'T YOU DARE DO THAT TO HIM.

"You have no right to shame me."

YOU HURT HIM. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!

"After you voted out Gabby, I never pulled this on you, cause I have some sense to not be a dick."

BULL. SHIT. 😡 THAT WAS FIORE AND ALEC.

"Maybe if you weren't so annoying, your boyfriend wouldn't have cheated on you."

*Paused the Episode on this frame*

...

So, this is being written TEN MINUTES after I paused the episode in that frame.

What happened in between that ten minutes was that I PAUSED the episode, got out of my seat paced around my room in rage, SCREAMED THE F WORD, I'm lucky my family isn't home at the moment so they can't hear me, and I left the room and paced around in my kitchen to calm down because I felt SICK, HURT, TRIGGERED, and ATTACKED.

Not the writer's fault. They don't know. But... OMG

YOU. YOOOOOUUUUUU

YOU CANNOT DO THAT

I am VERY EMOTIONAL in this segment if you can't tell.

YOU CANNOT SAY THAT TO PEOPLE.

YOU CANNOT SAY THAT TO PEOPLE.

Maybe in a separate post, when I cooled my head, I'll talk about WHY this scene hurt me so much.

But my reason is not actually based off the characters. Roles swapped, I think I'd still react this way.

Bottom line is, remember when I said earlier that Miriam was calling Ellie out to help her?

THIS ISN'T THAT. THIS IS NOT 'ELLIE CALLING JAKE OUT ON HIS BULLSHIT', THIS IS NOT 'ELLIE GIRLBOSS MOMENT'. THIS IS SHAMING.

This is SHAMING someone with serious mental problems that need help.

This is not 'Oh, Ellie's ROASTING Jake right now, what a powerful moment for her! Hell ya, he deserved it!'

THIS TRIGGERED ME.

I actually KNEW this scene existed before I watched the show. But I had no context, didn't know what episode it was, didn't know when it showed up, and I didn't remember the exact dialogue. But it was in a clip of a reaction that was cheering for Ellie doing this.

I won't give names, I won't throw hands, that's not their fault if they see it that way. This is just VERY PERSONAL FOR ME.

I won't give massive details, because it's so personal, but why it triggered me? I HAVE BEEN THERE IN MY LIFE.

I HAVE BEEN THERE YEARS AGO, MULTIPLE TIMES, WITH MULTIPLE PEOPLE DOING THIS SHIT TO ME. Acting JUST LIKE how Ellie does here, towards me.

It caused me a lot of problems growing up. My family AGREED with the people doing that, so that was not fun. They said 'I needed to hear this. I deserved it.'

So I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. This shit does no favors to the person you're 'roasting'. If anything, this makes the behavior you're calling out WORSE. They act even MORE like this whiny bratty type as a way to cope with the thought that everyone hates them!

ELLIE. YOU CAN'T DO THIS.

THAT HURTS PEOPLE.

I DON'T CARE IF IT'S JAKE. I DON'T CARE IF YOU HATE JAKE. THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

YOU CAN'T SAY THAT TO PEOPLE.

I'm not saying Jake is innocent and doesn't deserve calling out. BUT, THAT'S NOW HOW YOU DO IT

EVERYTHING Ellie said in that was just... ANGERED ME. IT ANGERED ME.

I gotta calm down. I'm sorry. I gotta calm down. Peace.

Episode 11 Elimination

Oooooooohh god...

I'm actually feeling kinda hopeless.

I think I know who it is.

'JAKE'

Yeah...

'ELLIE'

Should've went for the gold.

'ELLIE'

'JAKE'

Aaaaaaaannnnnd I know Fiore's handwriting at this point.

It's over.

'JAKE'

*Long Depressed Sigh*

...I knew it.

We didn't get revenge. Goddammit.

"Whatever. I don't care."

"Spoken like a man who cares."

"Miriam, I'm so sorry to be leaving you. Maybe if I had taken things differently, none of this would've happened."

Yeah...

"Thank you so much for supporting me. Everything from my grandmother to Tom..."

Oh come on, don't make this sad for me.

"Don't fret, kid. I thought I wouldn't open up to anyone here. But you were patient with me, and taught me that I shouldn't judge people so quickly."

Yeah. He's chaotic like that.

"You may be down, but you're not out. Play your butt off Miriam. We'll see each other when this is all over, okay?"

Yes. Win for them, Miriam.

Awwwwwwww💗

...damn. I'm gonna miss that trainwreck.

Episode 12 Elimination

"You and I can also work together to become the final two after that."

GODDAMN. MIRIAM, YOU'RE COLD.

Okay, this is DEFINATELY a Survivor thing.

"You cannot grab the top with your hands and your feet must be on the line."

Oh. Okay. I was gonna say 'just wrap your feet around the pole' but you can't do that.

"Sounds easy."

"For you, yes, cause you're small."

But she's a child, wouldn't that make her less capable of endurance than Ellie and Alec?

How are you already slipping? We just started!

I say that like I would do better. I probably wouldn't.

NO MIRIAM

"You're much lighter than me. Do you think you can last longer?"

Oh you're not slipping and trusting Ellie, are you?

You're a dumbass.

"But unfortunately, I can't have us winning this."

YOU DUMBASS.

Does Ellie have my forgiveness for this???

Um...

That's a debate. First you apologize for the death threat. THEN we'll talk.

"What if they can't agree?"

"In that case, you and Ellie would go to one last challenge to decide who gets eliminated."

Oh really?

Is that what we're gonna do?

...or is Fiore gonna ditch Alec's ass? Did I call it?

"I choose Ellie. And I won't change my mind."

Okay.

"Well... I..."

Moment of truth.

She's gonna ditch him.

"Alec... I really liked you, and that's dangerous, because feelings are for weak people."

OH.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH.

"I vote to take Ellie to the final."

I. FUCKING. CALLED IT.

😂

GET FUCKED, ALEC!!!!! GET! FUCKED!!!!!

"But after all I've done?! I protected you this whole game! I helped you win the zombie apocalypse challenge, saved your life in the cave, covered up your plans so no one would suspect you're a PSYCHOPATH, and you STILL eliminate me?!"

THAT'S ON YOU, YOU DUMBASS.

WHY WOULD YOU TRUST HER?!?! SHE'S A PSYCHOPATH! YOU KNEW THIS. YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN IT COMING.

"Yes, thanks for all that, but I don't need you anymore."

👏😂👏

SHE DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU.

WHAT DID I SAY?!

Yeah, she cares about literally nobody.

She WILL ditch these guys on the bus the moment she has the chance.

And she's gonna show no remorse doing it.

And when that happens I'm gonna be HOWLING.

WELL HERE I AM.

SHE DITCHED HIM, NO REMORSE, AND I AM HOWLING.

AWOOOOOOOOOOOO

I CALLED THIS.

"Oh come on Alec, out of everybody, you're the last one who should be talking about feeling betrayed."

GET. HIS. ASS.

"This doesn't concern you. Keep it to yourself, Ellie."

You betrayed her three times. She DOES get a right to say that!

See, THIS is a good moment of Ellie ROASTING someone who fucking DESERVES IT.

"Your parents were right about you. You are a mistake."

"Oh. I know. And I don't care. Oh, and I bet you'd know a lot about making mistakes."

AWOOOOOOOOOOOO

I do not feel bad for Alec at all. Let's be real. HE DESERVED THIS.

YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE PUT YOUR FATE IN THE HANDS OF THIS PSYCHOPATHIC CHILD. THAT IS ON YOU.

GOODBYE, SIR.

3rd Place

Oh yay, the demon child wins...

This is where Miriam goes.

YEAH THIS IS WHERE MIRIAM GOES

THEY'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT

AW, I'M SORRY MIRIAM. I WAS ROUTING FOR YOU.

"Tom... I... I can't go any..."

NO DON'T GIVE UP

"Wait... I need help!"

Wait what's happening?

"Oh... my heart..."

OH NO. WHAT?!??!

WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT?!?!

NO

OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

YOU'RE GONNA KILL HER?!??!?!

NO THAT'S SICK. OH MY GOD. NO.

NOOOOOOOOOOO

DON'T KILL HER OFF, I LOVE HER. NOOOOO

NOOOOOOOO MIRIAM, NOOOOOOOO

CPR. DO CPR TOM. PLEASE.

"What's wrong with her? Is she okay?"

LADY, YOU THINK?!?!?! SHE'S DYING.

"I can smell that million bucks calling to me."

OH

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD WHAT

😲

I... I...

*AnalyzGolden.exe has stopped working*

...

... ... ...

So... let me get this straight...

She FAKED A HEART ATTACK TO WIN?!

... ... ...

😂👏

OMG THAT GOT ME

OMG MIRIAM YOU ARE INSANE

AND ELLIE'S OUT

😂👏

You KNOW this was done as revenge for Tom and Jake

KARMA IS A BITCH, ELLIE!!!!!!

Miriam used the slay pass! SHE ACTUALLY USED IT. I HAVE HER SLAY PASS AND SHE USED IT.

😂👏

THAT WAS SO GOOD

"What the hell was that?! After everything that has happened in this game, I lose a chance of fixing my life because of THAT?!"

I want to feel bad for Ellie, but I just DON'T.

OH MY GOD...

*struggling to calm down*

And the Winner Is...

COME ON MIRIAM

"NO NO NO! I WILL NOT LOSE HERE!! NOT AFTER EVERYTHING!!! MOVE YOU STUPID-"

OH GEEZ

UM....

IS SHE ALIVE?!

I don't necessarily care about Fiore's well being, I just don't want Tom to go to jail for child murder.

DON'T TELL ME THIS BLOW GETS HER TO PASS MIRIAM AND WIN

IS THIS A VILLAIN WIN?!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

OH THANK GOD.

...

I MEAN, IT'S BAD THAT SHE CRASHED IN FIRE, BUT THANK GOD SHE DIDN'T CROSS THE FINISH LINE...

God, I'm gonna have the police at my door now.

MIRIAM WON!!🎉

Deserved, honestly. That's a winner I can get behind.

The Hosts Get Arrested

*sirens*

Oh no XD

"TOM, YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR ATTEMPTED CHILD MURDER"

"Vladimir Jensen, Trevor Mcgregor, and Derek Johnson. You are al under arrest for wildlife damage, destruction of protected property, and illegal deforestation."

OH.

OH I FORGOT ABOUT THAT.

THE COPS ARE DOING THEIR JOB.

"Well they really took their time, didn't they?"

I bet Tom is the kind of guy to say "COPS SUCK. OMG THEY'RE SO IMPOSSIBLE."

OH SHIT-

OH SHIT HE'S GOT A GUN

WELL THIS ESCALATED QUICKLY

"This is for killing the animals!"

😨

GABBY YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT-

😂

YES QUEEN!!! SLAY!!!!!!

NOOOO COME ON!!!!

COME ON DON'T PULL A HEATHER TO MIRIAM!

OH TOM'S GOING AFTER THEM HE'S GOT A HOOK IDK WHERE HE GOT THAT FROM THINGS ARE HAPPENING SO FAST RIGHT NOW-

OH GOD HE'S FIGHTING

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING ANYMORE

TOM DON'T DIE

OH NO

WAIT DID THEY DIE?!?!?!?!

OH MY GOD...

PLEASE DON'T TELL ME TOM DIED.

*cuts to black*

OH MY GOD...

What just happened?!?!

DID TOM DIE?!?!?!

New Host Reveal

Who are you???

"What happened to Jensen?"

"No one knows. They never found a body."

So he's not dead???

"How'd they let you run another season after this?"

Oh wait cause the old hosts got arrested, this is the new host. GOTCHA.

"What selection?"

"For the next season, duh."

Bring on the Season 2 cast.

"We need to decide the participants for All Stars."

Wait what? What about Season 2?

Does this take place AFTER Season 2??? Huh??? I am confusion.

[thepeachyouhadtopick]

Hi! I thought the parts in your fic where Johnny and Ell were sneaking around and dating in secret was so cute. I noticed you take requests and I wanted to ask if you'd write a headcanon about them sneaking? I know you're past it in your fic now but I just feel hungry for more because it was so adorable LOL! TIA

i'm sorry this took me so long to publish! i just wanted to be sure it was right before i posted it i hope it's ok!!

johnny and ell dating in secret headcanon

blowing kisses to each other across the set when nobody’s looking

texting each other dirty messages during work or in the van

hugging each other for just a moment longer in the morning and at night

and like before they dated it would just be a friendly arms thrown round each other, a pat on the back or whatever

but now they’re dating Ell hugs him with her arms around his waist and Johnny with his arms like under her armpits idk I hope that makes sense?? just so they can hold each other extra close

and honestly it amazes them that nobody notices that they hug tighter and for longer

notes under the motel doors even though they can text each other

and they both keep each note obviously but neither of them tell the other that they’ve been keeping them

holding hands under the table at dinner whenever they get the chance

and accidentally falling asleep on each other in the van

but sometimes not even falling asleep just allowing themselves to enjoy the contact for a minute

steve-o and stephanie always giving them the heads up in case anyone is about to catch them being all mushy together

but at the same time also making steve and steph wanna puke with how sickly sweet they are during the time they actually get to spend together

sharing food on set omg

like if Johnny’s eating a nice snack he offers Ell some just so they can have another interaction (i feel like he would’ve done this before he knew she liked him too???)

yanking each other behind a wall or a van just to steal a kiss

and giggling about it

his lil nervous hands whenever they talked on set normally (ofc he was like this before they got together too because she made him flustered without even trying)

like in the first few weeks he would just stumble over his words n be extra considerate of everything he said and did

Ell would wanna make sure she looked good for him at first, but not like she made too much effort

she would just consider her outfits a little more each morning

and maybe remember to wash her hair a little more often

eventually she realises that PJ couldn’t give a fuck how she dressed because he was down so bad for her

Rick or Dimitry or someone else took a casual / off-guard behind-the-scenes photo of them together just hanging out or waiting around to shoot and they’re desperate to see it because it’s their first couple picture together

like they’re literally just stood next to each other but they need to see it

if they were all out at a bar and everyone was drunk Johnny would take the opportunity to leave lingering touches on the small of Ell’s back as they walked through the crowded room because everyone was less likely to notice

and he would always offer to get her a drink from the bar

or a snack from the shop if they stopped somewhere during travelling

OH and if he injured himself during a stunt every so often he’d ask if Ell had any more bandages in her bag (the ones she usually brought along for Steve-O) just so he could enjoy the feeling of Ell taking care of him and they could share a quiet moment together, holding their gazes and smiling as Ell cleaned him up so carefully even though there was a medic on site

quiet and slow make out sessions when Ell got to sneak into Johnny’s motel room

lottttttts of touching because they’ve both spent an entire day entirely touch-starved for each other

the thrill of getting caught encouraging them a little too much

Johnny gently playing with Ell’s clit and/or fingering her with his free hand covering her mouth to muffle any sounds she might make

both of them giggling at the sound of Ell’s muffled whines

similarly Johnny would totally be biting down on his hand so he didn’t moan when Ell gave him head

Johnny would always be wearing his Aviators so he could just stare at Ell without anyone noticing

he’d get a little jealous of the other guys flirting with Ell but he trusted her and he knew that they wouldn’t do it if they knew about their relationship

tbh he loved seeing her get along with the other guys so well and acting dumb with them all

occasionally a pet name will slip through like ‘doll’ or ‘sweetheart’/‘sweetie’ and Johnny just tries to style it out which Ell finds very cute

when he’s alone in his hotel room every so often secretly he’ll listen to Ell’s music or watch her music videos or read interviews with her on his laptop just bc he misses her face or her voice and wants to know more about her even though she’s literally in the room next door

like he’s secretly a massive fan of her music ever since they first met

they’re always talking about music in general or their favourite movies or books

like it’s clear to everyone that they have a lot of common interests but nobody really thinks anything of it because they both let the others join in their conversations too

it PAINS them both to be sneaking around because they both just wanna show off how they feel about each other

so it’s actually a blessing in disguise when they finally get caught out by everyone

honestly it amazes them both that nobody clocked anything before steve-o accidentally let it slip

and ofc they are so happy that everyone approves of them

link to the fic if any of you haven't read it before!

[margridarnauds]

Sleepover ask time! I give you permission to rant about shit on main

That's an ungodly amount of power to give me, let's go.

This is going to be unpopular with some people, and I totally get why, but...every once in a while on this site, there's a lot of furor raised over "You CAN'T call the Aeneid/The Divine Comedy/Arthuriana fanfic, you don't UNDERSTAND, they're MEDITATIONS on fate/divine will/mortality, they're DEEP." Many outraged posts made, blood spilled, lives lost on Tumblr as the most unlikeable people that you know on both sides write bad faith thinkpieces that wildly miss the point. And...I get it. I do. I emphasize that I get it. These texts are, overwhelmingly, being manufactured in a time before copyright protections, as we know them, existed. (Though Cervantes, in the 17th century, provided an early example of an author...very firmly asserting his own exclusive ownership of the characters.) These works, rather than being fanfiction in and of themselves, are part of a cultural tradition of transformative borrowing and exchange that fanfiction is ALSO a part of.

...but that being said. Lads. Lighten up.

People who actually work with stuff day in, day out don't care as much as randos on Tumblr, or self proclaimed English Majors™ who couldn't hack grad school and have decided that, in retribution, they're going to subject us to complaining about YA, fanfic, pick your poison here (mandatory "Education =/= intelligence or critical thinking skills, especially given the RIDICULOUS cost of a degree in the States, but if you're going to promote yourself as an English Major™, and play into that hierarchical system, I reserve the right to call you on it and pull rank.) I've sat at tables filled with medievalists who will gleefully call Arthuriana fanfic (we also had a lovely discussion on MPreg, Omegaverse, and protecting curious senior scholars from the former two when they go on their regular sojourns across the internet.) I've read articles from respected medievalists that will adopt a transformative approach towards reading texts, arguing that they are, essentially, fanfiction. (Matthieu Boyd's paper on Mesca Ulaid, for the interested.) I've talked to tenured Ivy League professors who will compare respected medieval literary traditions to fanfic. (Three, actually.) As a soon to be published Arthurian scholar myself, *I* don't care, and I'd like to think that, at this point, I've earned my laurels enough to have an opinion.

Like, I just think we have to consider what our goal is here -- is it to educate people on the way that pre-modern literary cultures worked, or is it to make ourselves feel superior? Is it because we want to clarify that our own situation re: copyright is the exception rather than the norm historically, or is it because we feel somehow threatened by the comparison between something that we hold to be significant to something that we hold insignificant, especially since the latter is something that is something that can be written by anyone as opposed to a specific literary elite that overwhelmingly consisted of men? When we're here, in our capacity as ambassadors for our fields, are we doing more harm than good by trying to puff ourselves up? Are we actually ENCOURAGING people to engage with this stuff, or are we making them think that we're all Like That?

When I was younger, 17-18, I was terrified of interacting with people who did this sort of thing specifically because there was one person on here, back in the day, who was SUCH a prickly asshole that I was scared. And if I hadn't, I wouldn't have entered grad school for this, I never would've gotten my MA, I wouldn't have gotten into my PhD program. God knows how many other people might have had similar experiences. That matters more to me than whether Arthuriana technically counts as fic.

...also this is the funny meme website. The reason why a lot of people aren't giving the most nuanced takes on medieval literary networks is specifically because, besides being laypeople...this is the funny meme website. None of us are making any of this into a conference paper, it isn't going on our CVs, so I'm not going to focus on getting all the nuances down right because. This is the funny meme website. I go here. To make funny memes. And to escape my program. And if you have enough time and energy to get angry, wonderful, fight the good fight, but, ala the Cervantes example above, you might find yourself tilting at windmills that you've mainly created.

[thefudge]

Maybe some people get their utmost thinking and feeling from things that you would think are trash. I appreciated most of your response but some of it is borderline concern troll-y. Most adults only have so much time in the day, why should they devote that time to your or anyone else's idea of "beautiful things"? It's fine to try to guide people if you think they need guidance or if they ask for it, but I think if it's clear they aren't gonna change, it's cool to just let them be trash baskets and keep it moving. Especially when the "problem" is ships and romance novels.

fair enough. i think i tend to come off as concern trolly- because i'm a teacher in real life so that's my knee-jerk reaction sometimes.

"maybe some people get their utmost thinking and feeling from things that you would think are trash." - i hope they do, and if they do that's great. my concern here is that some material will make them turn against actual bold and interesting stuff. a lot of bad trash in romance is actually very bland and safe . ironically, when those readers are faced with smth less mainstream "dark" but more uncomfortable and challenging, they might shrink from it. and that's also fine. i'm not *that* worried about it, but i'm not indifferent to it either. because it's these readers/consumers that play a big part in what gets published or not, what trends are popular, what is tolerated etc. as a side note, i worry less about trash and more about very bland stuff that is being sold as "trash" but is actually completely numb and smooths out human emotion.

"Most adults only have so much time in the day, why should they devote that time to your or anyone else's idea of "beautiful things" - true. and yet, i don't entirely agree. yes, adults don't have time and they work all day. but i think capitalism encourages us to have this exact attitude. it makes us think we don't have time for anything other than the most effective form of escapism. and idk man. something rubs me the wrong way about this. as if we're conceding that we'll never have time for beautiful or difficult things.

i do think you're right that no one should chase my idea of beautiful things. but they should chase their idea, at least from time to time, and not always settle. i know i sound like a pretentious twat, and you can call me that, but the idealist in me says we should strive anyway.

that being said, "it's cool to just let them be trash baskets and keep it moving" is a pretty good way of putting it. i've raised my points, but yeah, ultimately, everyone is free to do as they like, and i'm cool with that. i may be over-exaggerating my concern here. it's the internet after all lol

(and i once again want to stress that i am a trash basket too. yall have known me for a while now, you know i'm a trash auntie. but as a senior lady, i just sometimes worry about the "youths")

[wolfpants]

If you’re still doing the writing asks, I’d like to ask!

🌿how does creating make you feel?

I am, yes! Sorry for the slowness 😅 Thank you for the question 💖

This is going to sound so pathetic, but creating makes me feel like I'm worth something.

I've never felt like I've been great at anything (but not for lack of trying! and I do think that is the most important thing!) - I was a poor to average student (bad attention span, apparently spent too much time daydreaming about my special interests rather than focusing on things like maths and science and apparently the things that matter, according to my teachers), and all the hobbies/crafts I picked up over the years I'd start and then let go of before I could master them (I used to be really into art and drawing when I was younger, and I think I could have been good at it if I stuck it out for longer, I also used to play instruments but I never had the patience for learning them "properly", and did much better at self-teaching than being instructed).

Even when I started writing as a teenager I let my lack of focus get the better of me and I just didn't allow myself to see things through. And as I got older, I felt like I couldn't share anything I did (writing wise) with the world because it all felt a bit half done.

Then the pandemic happened.

I've always excelled at consuming. I was a film student, I watched films like it was my job (and for a while, it kind of was), listened to music like it was my job (same thing), read loads and loads of books and absolutely consumed every piece of queer lit I could get my hands on. Including fanfic.

When lockdown started I found myself with time, and with a narrowed focus. I read more fic and I got really into Wolfstar - after primarily being a Drarry reader - and decided I wanted to try writing something of my own and publishing it. I didn't expect it to go anywhere. I had the support of a best friend (who I happened to meet on Harry Potter livejournal back in the day and is now one of my closest friends) who encouraged me to keep going with it, so I did, and it gained a little traction, and the positive feedback on that encouraged me to keep going and the more I went the more joy I got out of creating and realising that - making my own stories, writing the fic I want to read, is a really joyous, fulfilling thing. And it finally allowed me to finish something and feel like yes, I achieved that, I did something exactly the way I want, I completed something on my own terms.

And the more I create, the less I feel a need to do it for anyone's approval other than my own, and that I've found is the secret to a rewarding, joyous creative output.

So, when I create, I feel purpose, within myself. I feel joy.

... sorry for the essay 😂

Anyway, if anyone else wants to hear my jumbled assortment of thoughts, go ahead! Fanfic writer ask game &lt;3

[starsandspicedpeaches]

Starsandspicedpeaches ao3 wrapped [writers edition]

Well guys, I told you I was going to do it! I wanted to make a brief summary of the content I’ve created this year based on this post (https://starsandspicedpeaches.tumblr.com/post/737795154739707904/floydsin-ao3-wrapped-writers-edition-how-many) and take a moment to appreciate what I managed to do, even if it wasn’t much. Below I’ve answered all the questions for the ao3 wrapped, and I made sure to link all my fics so if you see one that interests you, you can just click it and don’t have to hunt it down. I hope you all had a happy holiday and look forward to new content in the new year! 

How many words have you written this year?

Only 11,733, but for someone in college full-time that’s not too bad. 

How many works did you publish this year?

4 works, all Resident Evil. 

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

I think I’m proudest of The Blue Eyed Bunny and the Green Eyed Monster oddly enough. It was my least popular work but I experimented a lot with emotion, timing, and subjects I wasn’t used to. I think that story is where I put a lot of my growth. 

What work of yours has the most hits?

Alphas, Omegas, and Workplace Etiquette by a long shot. It is also one of the only s/muts I wrote this year though I think and so that may play into its popularity. 

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

Again, Alphas, Omegas, and Workplace Etiquette. I’m still not used to writing s/mut and I have never practiced A/B/O dynamics, I only did it for a prompt, so I was extremely surprised by how into it people seemed to be. It also features trans omega Wesker because that’s just what I personally like, so I thought by inserting my headcanons I was ensuring the story would be a flop. I was shocked and thrilled that so many people were willing to read content that not only may have gone outside their personal preferences but also features a trans character. It has definitely encouraged me to just write what I want how I want and work on making things for myself, not just others.

Favorite title you used

I liked the title The Blue Eyed Bunny and the Green Eyed Monster just because I feel like it was creative and was one of those titles that you aren’t exactly sure what it means until you read the story (or at least the description and tags I guess). 

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most?

I don’t think I used any song lyrics this year. I generally don’t, just not my cup of tea. Maybe I should try it next year!

Pairing you wrote the most for this year?

Chrisker (Chris Redfield x Albert Wesker) was the only ship I wrote this year, lmao. 

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

Chrisker again, only thing I wrote, but I don’t regret it, it’s a top-tier ship. 

What work was the quickest to write?

No Questions, when I was writing it I still didn’t really have a community to work with so I did everything myself on my own time. I was able to get it out fast because I did all the writing and editing and didn’t have to wait on anyone, but that also meant I had no feedback before posting, and that probably lessened the quality. 

What work took you the longest to write?

Alphas, Omegas, and Workplace Etiquette. Not only was it my longest word count, but I had also never written A/B/O before so I really had to mess with it, edit it, and play with it a lot. Additionally, my biggest criticism with A/B/O is that it can often time feel really rape-y and I didn’t want to create a tone where it felt like Chris was taking advantage of Wesker, that’s not how I understood Chris’s character in this fic. I was really just taking a lot of time to reread and edit it into something where it felt in character and like something I could be proud of. 

How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

Right now I only have one WIP, but I have more than twenty ideas written down. Typically I never have more than one or two WIPs in progress at a time because if I start to do more I never get any projects done. 

What’s your longest work of the year?

Alphas, Omegas, and Workplace Etiquette with nearly 5,000 words.

What’s your shortest work of the year?

The Alternate Approach with less than 2,000. 

What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

Well don’t look ahead if you want to be surprised, but last year I started a little smut piece where Uroborous messes with Wesker while he’s still working on creating it. I started on it but then I found out about Chrisker week and made that my priority. I certainly don’t plan on abandoning that project though so hopefully you’ll see it before 2025. 

What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag?

Lmfao it’s a tie between trans Albert Wesker, vaginal fingering, and vaginal sex. I don’t even know what to say. 

Your favorite character to write this year?

Honestly, she only shows up in one fic but probably Rebecca. I love her character and think she deserves all the love in the world. Plus, she’s just a good person trying to take care of others so it felt nice to write. 

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

I think Chris was the hardest, which I think is funny since I wrote from his perspective so much. I think it’s easy to make Chris a little shallow and one note since he’s typically the protagonist in the games, and so he needs to be just a bit blank slate-y for the player to connect to the world through him. That means that as a writer I have more free reign to interpret his thoughts and motivations how I want, but that room for creativity is scary, especially when you know that there will be people who interpret him differently. 

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

I do want to play around with a little Albert x Sergei because 1. I love toxic yaoi and want those cunts to be nasty to each other, and 2. old man pretty. 

Which work of yours have you reread the most?

Once I publish my works I almost never reread them because I know that I’ll just hate everything and never stop thinking about how I should have done this or changed that. Taking that into consideration, most likely Alphas, Omegas, and Workplace Etiquette just because I edited it so much and kept going over it for flaws again and again.  

How many kudos in total did you get this year?

255 kudos, thank you all so much!

Which work has the most comments?

The Alternate Approach, I was certainly surprised by this but those who read it seemed to really like it. Thank you all for letting me know your thoughts!

Did you do any collaborative works this year?

Nope. I really have no clue where to start with collaborative works and I’ve never done it before. If I ever did one it would probably be just for fun, not super professional. 

Did you write any gifts this year?

No, I’m only just starting to find communities and friends to fit in with in fandom, and I tend to really struggle with socializing so making a friend in the first place has been tricky lol. That’s why I’m always telling you all to reach out, if you want me to be your friend just claim me, I’ll let you know if it’s ever too much. 

Did you receive any gifts this year?

No, most likely for the same reasons as above. 

What’s your most common category?

Not entirely sure what categories are on AO3 but Chris Redfield/Albert Wesker I think? 

What do you listen to while writing?

Usually nothing, I get super sucked into music so I can’t really listen to much. Sometimes I’ll play soundtracks if it’s a good attention day. If that’s the case I’ll listen to the soundtracks from Midsommar, Hereditary, Coraline, and Squid Game. 

Favorite work you wrote this year?

The Blue Eyed Bunny and the Green Eyed Monster, Wesker is just such a fucking cunt in this one and I loved getting to see him mind-game Chris into bad behavior too. Exploring the issues with their relationship while simultaneously seeing it prevail, especially as a prequel to the events of the first game where the reader knows just how much worse Wesker gets was so much fun. Plus, I got to write the STARS team who we don’t see a ton in the game, and bring them back to life for a little bit. See them be people with flaws, loves, and passions, not just cannon fodder for the monsters in the mansion. 

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

Probably this excerpt from The Blue Eyed Bunny and the Green Eyed Monster (spoilers ahead): 

“Are you upset about me showing up to Barry’s Party in this outfit?” He asked, pulling the jacket off the reveal that Chris had indeed been right, he still had the costume on.

“Yeah, I am upset, and I think you know that.”

“Hmm, and why does me showing up to a party with all your friends and coworkers dressed like this upset you, Chris?” Albert purred, slowly stepping closer.

“What do you want from me, Albert?” Chris blurted out, “Don’t you think I’ve dealt with enough bullshit tonight?”

Albert stepped forward and took Chris’s chin in his hand, pushing his head up to make eye contact. Chris didn’t know why but he let him.

“Just tell me. Chris, why did it upset you?”

“Because I’m jealous. I’m jealous I’ve every person who gets near you, every person who gets to touch you, everyone who gets to enjoy looking you up and down like that because I want it only to be me.”

I liked the push and pull in the moment, Wesker forcing information out of Chris and just playing him. It shows Wesker finding Chris’s flaws and forcing them out into the light for his own pleasure. 

Biggest surprise while writing this year?

I think I was surprised by the communities that formed around writing. Like I said, I tend to struggle with socializing and just understanding people in general so I wasn’t expecting myself to find people who consistently interacted within fanfic. There were readers who came back and commented on the works I make regularly, the Chrisker Week server has evolved into a new server where people still talk about the ship and work on content together, and I just kind of notice the same people milling about offering kind words and inspiration when most needed. It’s been really beautiful

Thank you all again so much for following me and interacting so kindly when I do put work out. This year has been a delight and an opportunity for a lot of growth in my writing which will hopefully go into making next year even better! Take care everyone and I'm sending you the best on this new adventure!

[if-confessions]

Hey :) aspiring author here… or hopefully some day. So i posted a demoless intro before i really started writing and the reception has been really nonexistent. I don’t get any asks and i’m sadly a person that needs at least a little validation for motivation. But i have been writing even though there’s not much encouragement but it’s been a slog to get through. I just wanted to ask, do you think once my demo is out i’ll be able to get more people interested or excited? Kind of like a catapult? I’ve been really annoyed at myself for posting this intro cause maybe more people would have been interested if i structured it differently. I hope this doesn’t sound conceited or anything but it’s really affecting me seeing all these other demoless intros blow up with 1000< likes and constant interaction and asks. I’m getting sad just thinking about it right now… I know i can’t force anyone to like my stuff and maybe my story is just bad i don’t know… It just feels like everyone is starting their wip at a massive advantage with an audience that’s already there and excited and i’m right at the bottom looking up. Was this how it used to be a few years ago? Did everyone start at the bottom? I’m trying to tell myself once people see my world they’ll fall in love with it just like me but seeing new intros come out left right and centre, all achieving things within days that i’ve been trying to do for many months makes me want to cry.

Hey Anon,

I don't want to give you any false hope or promise you that when you do publish your demo your blog will be catapulted into stardom. It could, but it also might not... Honestly, I really don't know what combo of action makes a popular project (see demo/no demo debate). Maybe your intro post is the issue, maybe it is not. Maybe your story is bad, or maybe it's just fine and the people who would click with it just hasn't seen it yet. I tried listing things that could affect a project becoming popular (and it's not even an exhaustive list), but even then it doesn't ensure results. There really are a lot of factors at play... and luck and timing.

I'm not even sure whether it was easier a few years ago or if everyone started at the bottom. There were less people working on/starting massive/epic IF projects, so it was easier to stand out from the crowd. But there were also less people in the community, so less readers, which might mean less interaction overall compared to now. But maybe it was the same as now, with a few project blowing up overnight and many staying at the bottoms for a while, and the difference is much striking than it used to be. Also, the IF Tumblr Scene in the early 2010s looked very different to now... But to get a clear answer on that, it would be easier to ask long-term IF creators whether they've seen stark differences. I wonder if COG creators opening Tumblr blogs had an effect on this too...

So what now?

Well, you really are not alone feeling this way (author tag).

But I don't also have a magic answer either to wash away those worries (if I did, I would probably be also in the super popular group of author). Here are some options?

Join a writer's group or an IF author one

Interact with other authors outside of those groups (asks, comments, regular conversation...)

Post your project on directory blogs and IF communities (discorgs, forums, other social media)

Join jams and competitions to get your name out there and receive some feedbacks

Or my favourite one that's been working for me personally:

Write for yourself, because it's fun as a hobby by itself; find the reason why you are doing this (it was learning new stuff for me); stop putting the numbers centre stage (because they are meaningless); take breaks from the internet...

That one is not easy. You are kind of forced to look inward for motivation and pushing yourself to continue. Do I slip up sometimes? Yeah, I get a but envious of other creators getting more attention that me, and I still check my stats often. I still get frustrated when only one person react to an update I worked so hard on, or even get absolutely nothing about the stuff I really enjoyed doing (sorry Detective Rye...).

But it's been less frustrating and stressful overall. I get to share the stuff I want to share when I want, and have grown a lot more over the past 6-8months than I did since I started working on it*. I feel like I've done my best writing because I'm just having fun. *I did start with an I don't care attitude when I got into IF, but when CRWL got some momentum, that didn't last...

Sidenote: the massive advantage of getting a lot of notes/followers also often comes with a lot of expectations and pressure.

[mlemedt]

Fake Dates & Mooncakes- Sher Lee

💛💛💛🤍🤍 (3/5)

I was first recommended this book in Waterstones Pride Collection, so I suppose I'm a bit late reading this. I'm usually up for anything Pride since the representation is just heartwarming, and encouraging the normalisation of marginalised groups is always a plus.

🥮

The novel follows the perspective of Dylan Tang, a 16 year-old helping out with his Aunts small takeout, and his romantic exploits with Theo Somers. However, it did very much feel like I was simply following him. Dylan was one of those characters were things sort of just happen to them, rather than him making active decisions. This wasn't the case all the time, it was just quite noticeable after coming off 'The Virgin Suicides' where the entire story is an active decision. It wasn't a huge problem but it stunted Lee's ability to show off his personality, so at times I wasn't entirely sure what his aspirations were.

---------------------------------Commentary------------------------------

I felt, surprisingly, there wasn't actually much commentary within this novel, which, as I said in my review of 'Psyche & Eros,' is not always a bad thing. A novel can simply entertain you and in this case warm you up a bit. I was just expecting at least some discussion on their sexuality and perhaps how that has impacted them, especially Theo being a part of such a high profile family, but alas there was not. I read 'Red White & Royal Blue' last year, which was fun and warming, but still had, granted a small discussion of how scary it can be to come out and be perceived fully, especially in high profile positions. It's an interesting decision to write a romance like this, and that not be a discussion point. It just would've added an extra layer, and also help make the characters feel more real. However, I suppose Lee may prefer passive representation, which is just as valid. Simply having more gay characters out there can do a lot for the publishing industry and society's perception of them too.

However, I loved Lee's exploration into Chinese and Singaporean culture and what it's like to be mixed race, in a home away from home. I honestly wasn't expecting it but I can tell a lot of effort went into bringing Lee's culture to life. Furthermore, the detail of writing in the cooking scenes, actually made me hungry, and could encourage anyone to go out an try a new dish.

🥮

-----------------------------------Criticisms--------------------------------

I feel horrible critiquing a book like this because it was genuinely soothing and fun to read, but however at times it didn't read fantastically. For instance the two hit a major bump in their relationship, but their confrontation only lasts around a page, before they suddenly realised what has actually happened. The pacing was just a bit funny at times, the chapter begins with a major point but it sizzles out by the next page. Some instances also had quite unbelievable characters. I hate to make this comparison, but at points it felt like a Wattpad.

To be fair, I wasn't looking for anything high profile and it did it's job making me happy for them and bringing a smile to my soul. Anyway, I can't comment on the quality of writing when I am not a writer myself, I'm just noting some observations. Perhaps others felt different.

🥮

----------------------------------Conclusions------------------------------

This is one of my shorter reviews apparently, because it was simply fun to read and I don't have much to complain about. Perhaps not perfectly executed regarding character and literary detail, but fun nevertheless. And anyway, no piece of writing can be perfect anyway.

♥♥♥

-Gaia

⚠Content Warnings⚠

-Mild and Infrequent swearing

[bacchicly]

"If you’re a skinny writer, do not write books about fat characters being fat."

-direct quote from Sarah Hollowell's article you posted 3 months ago

Any advice that is "do not make art about (blank)" is not good advice. Even if you're afraid the art can be harmful or misrepresenting, even if you "know" the art will be bad.

That is a good question. Thank you so much for asking. The fact that you are? For me that gives you permission to write just about anything...because likely you will do it from a place of curiosity and willingness to grow. Story by story. Sentence by sentence.

Frankly, I had a long conversation with the screen of my phone about exactly that part of the article. And it was partly why I ended up writing "my own damn post"

I do not wholly agree with Sarah for the pure reason that I am an advocate of people doing their own research and us sharing around the emotional labour of telling stories. So for me...telling anyone "they can't/shouldn't write x" is bad advice - or at least incomplete advice. Now Howell's advice is meant to be interpreted quite narrowly - and I understand what she was trying to say (which - if I remembering correctly - forgive me for not rechecking...i am trying to get at least a preliminary answer out before work - but I believe her point was that she would prefer we encourage fat people to tell their own stories about weight loss or attempting weight loss - because she felt that line of storytelling was already overdone and hard to get right)....BUT for me - especially in non-professional spaces I really don't think we should shackle people that way.

Now onto your "bad art" part of the question... Ok I have been publicly on the side of imperfect art for a long time. I am more interested in the conversation and transformation generated by works than their actual "perfect form" - whether that conversation or transformation be that of the artist or the reader/gazer/audience. I also believe strongly - based on years of experience and observation -that while "near perfect art" can be extremely transformational - it often does not generate the degree or complexity of conversation as "less perfect art" - and purely "bad art" - I.e. boring, redundant, uncourageous, inauthentic, overly pandering, etc art - is typically short lived and rarely particularly impactful. I mean it's hard enough to get higher quality art to really insert itself into the cultural zeitgeist...so I am not sure there is a lot of need to be fretting quite so much as people do about whether something is good or bad art. I would rather ask artists...why are you spending time doing this? Why are you interested in this? Why does spending time on this story or character matter to you? (And traditionally non noble answers like it's fun and I want to are totally valid - again - especially in amateur spheres)...

Now do I believe there are harmful things people can put out there? Yes. Do I wish I could magically erase certain beliefs and practices that I believe to my core are harmful could be eradicated? Sure do!

But... I also believe that it's better if people bring their ideas into the light. I believe in what I characterise as "good" is both innately logical and true...so I would rather those who believe in hate or harm or intolerance bring those ideas out so we can examine them and argue them and yes when necessary fight them... And maybe...just maybe understand something about why those people believe the opposite of me and what kernel of truth I might learn from.

I would also say ..if you are afraid they will do harm...if you are curious about trying it and have a reason that matters to you for why you feel it is important in some way to explore any story... Do it. Writing does not always equate publishing...that is a seperate step and you can decide if you publish or edit some more or drop the project... But if...you never write that wiggly tooth of a story out... How can you make that assessment? How can you send it to someone like me and ask if it reflects my experience and my thoughts on it? So be brave and write the stories of the people in your head. Your work will not be perfect... But it might be important or transformative to you...and even if noone reads it...that is worthwhile...then if one other person reads it...and you talk about it...that is worthwhile.

Now do I have some maybe higher standards for commercial writing? For journalism? For pop culture that already has a wide audience? Yes. But that seems fair... and also necessary.

But even there the "mistakes" can be powerful mechanisms for good .. Monica's aggregious fat suit on Friends meant hours of discussion between me and my peers and me and my mom discussing why it was potentially harmful .. do I know if it saved more lives than harmed? No. But I also know those things are hard to predict.

Did that suit lead to some of the healthier kinder more diverse representation of fatness we now see? Honnestly I believe it did.

Art is for a lot of reasons. But bad art is better than no art. And I believe in people. I believe that humanity can recognize nuance and is trying it's best (even though we are sometimes very shitty at it). So for me "you can't or shouldn't write x" is bad advice because it lacks nuance. I think you need to trust yourself...be curious...write the damn thing and see where it goes. Honour your imagination and your curiosity. And yes...I hope you work towards less harm...and I hope our definitions generally line up...but even if they don't I would rather you write the story...give it your best... Enjoy the process and let yourself feel and think and grow...

[eazy-group]

Carley lost 85 pounds

New Post has been published on https://eazydiet.net/carley-lost-85-pounds/

Carley lost 85 pounds

Transformation of the Day: Carley shares how she lost 85 pounds. Her journey started after she experienced a severe panic attack. She began to explore the link between what she was consuming and her mental health, leading her to find a mix of healthy eating habits that worked for her. She also committed to working out.

Social Media: Instagram: @fitwithcarl TikTok: @Carleylauren_

What was your motivation? What inspired you to keep going, even when you wanted to give up? My journey started when I was on a plane ride back from a beautiful tropical vacation. My anxiety had gotten the best of me, and I had a severe panic attack on the flight. It was so bad my smart watch recorded it as a zone 3 cardio workout for 4 hours. My therapist encouraged me to explore the link between what I was consuming and my mental health. I knew I never wanted to feel like that again, and I would do anything I could to prevent that. My journey didn’t start out as a desire to change my body. I was trying to change my mind. 

Once I started eating well and moving more, I realized how much better I felt. My mental health improved dramatically. My relationships with those around me became stronger. I was able to take care of myself in a way I previously wasn’t. I don’t often think about giving up now. The idea of giving up is realizing I would go back to feeling horrible. I’d much rather suffer through a workout for an hour than suffer through life. 

How did you change your eating habits? My dietary changes happened around the same time as C*VID ramped up. I started early on in my journey eating a keto-based diet. Keto was the hot new diet, and it was accessible. I could get meats and veggies sustainably from the market (unlike toilet paper)! Now, I try to eat a higher protein diet to support my exercise. I do include intermittent fasting in my routine. I no longer cut out food groups. I have food freedom and eat whatever I want without guilt. 

What is your workout routine? I focus mainly on strength training, and I have one designated cardio day a week. I enjoy all forms of movement. My most logged exercise is outdoor walks! 

How often did you work out? 3 to 6 days days a week. 

What was your starting weight? What is your current weight? My starting weight was 250 pounds, and now I’m down to 165 pounds.

What is your height? 5’9″

When did you start your journey? How long did your transformation take? I started my journey in December of 2019. My transformation has been ongoing for four years. 

Is weight loss surgery part of your journey? No surgery. 

What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned so far? Discipline and patience. Before this journey, I was not a disciplined person. If the results weren’t instant, I didn’t want them. Nothing about this journey has been easy or quick. I’ve learned how to follow through on the commitments I’ve made to myself. I understand the value now in honoring those commitments. 

What advice do you have for women who want to lose weight? Find people that you can be in community with, online or in person. Make your goals small. It’s softer on your mind to set a goal of 1lb/week rather than to try and tackle 100 lbs at once. Don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s. Learn to fall in love with the process. Take pictures. Celebrate every milestone.

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[defsoullr]

i wanna post but idk what to post so i will make a compilation of my recent Thoughts

people never follow my advice so i may as well stop giving any.

seriously i need to be paid for the amount of advice i try to give (that people dont even FOLLOW)

if it hasn't been done yet, an app made for writing that works like whatsapp would actually be good. sort of mirroring that feeling when you're roleplaying or simply delivering crazy stories to your friend. each new text is a story part. this may encourage me to write more since i'm breaking it up into less daunting, smaller texts. i'm even considering making a groupchat with just myself so i can really give it a try. the only problem is that i wouldn't be able to edit the previous texts i sent.

the day i learned about that one book that's designed to make you fall asleep- it's an entire- thick- book that is sold to make you sleep. it has a page full of words about sleep and their definitions, a page full of swirling text that makes your eyes tired- it's full of good stuff. now, some perspective comes in right here: to be honest, this is so far from what i get in mind when i think about publishing a book. but, like, it is a book. a book is not just a story, not just a study- it can be that simple, it can be about anything, i can write about anything. relevance is so wildly subjective... on that note, it is simply cruel to sit here and think to myself "i'd love to publish a book but i probably can't because it takes too much time." because that's a bit of a restrictive way of thinking, isn't it? a book can be anything, really. lighten up on that regard.

geniuses are severely outnumbered by regular people, and this keeps me up at night. if this world is being managed by anyone, i'd like the geniuses to be doing it. not the oligarchical power monopolies claiming to be something else (democracy... totally "elected" by democracy).

everything going on inside my head is true- just, at different time intervals. love life, peace all around, chaotic absurdism? yes, when i'm on That Phase of my cycle. everything is wrong, we need to burn society and rebuild it, i wanna run off into the woods? also yes, when i'm on That Other Phase of my cycle. i'm not either of these ideologies, i have both of them within me. not all answers need to be clear and easy.

i constantly get this ridiculous craving where i want to have 20 years of experience in something but i'm not even 20 yet.

every bad outcome starts with a habit, and i could be forming one of those habits at any given day. for something like excessive depression, weight or overall health issues- any day could be my day 1. looming anxiety and fear...

but also, every good outcome starts with a habit! today could be the day 1 of something i'll be so grateful for in the future. it's all good! here comes the train of optimism and hope

now why is there a rise in... anti intellectualism. i just can't stand the suddenly common distaste over long text. how about we start treating academics a little better? what is with this surge of people saying they hate reading long text, hate reading anything at all, hate deeper dives into any concept ever; how are people confidently- with their whole chest- saying that they hate intellectual conversations? why is being (proudly) dumb becoming a... a trend? an actual trend? it even has a name! what i said in the beginning, anti intellectualism, is what it is called- it's relevant enough to be named! oh DEAR i am losing my marbles

yes i had to open google translate a couple of times while typing this thread because english sure is a language, and i also had the dictionary open because i don't trust my brain sometimes. it's usually saying things. i'd like to spew minimum nonsense if i can

i wonder how many rants i have in me in this given moment. ngl, 12 is an impressive number. not impressive if we consider the amount of argumentative thoughts i actually have on a daily basis, but impressive considering how forgetful i can be.

i think this is a good number to finish on. also, i am starting another busy period in college tomorrow and i am super not ready. i need to pull out an actual journal and write some stuff just to ease my nerves. find solid ground again, because i feel like i'm just drifting to places at this point. let's not let life run its course, or at least pretend to intervene, because i need to feel in control again. having some faint idea on how the next week will look like, definitely helps.

won't read and edit this lol, imagine actually reading this again. i ain't reading all that (!)