#also not sure if anyone this is applicable to will read this far but
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exopelagic · 5 months ago
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why do applications feel like your soul is being lightly roasted at 180C
#I’m applying for. a thing that is very much a once in a lifetime opportunity. and I don’t know if I want to do it.#like I cannot overstate how huge this could actually be#the problem is I don’t know if I actually wanna do it. and I can’t tell if that’s for good or bad reasons#the worst part is I actually have a decent shot. it’s far from certain this is gonna be competitive as hell but I can Do This. theoretically#and on top of that my current boss and HIS boss have connections there that they said they would talk to. I didn’t ask. and I feel like I’m#gonna wither away into a tiny little ball and float off#i know that almost everything is gotten by connections now and I’m only HERE on the fucking poor kids scholarship already that’s why I have#this internship in the first place but oh my god. oh my god.#it’s a three year long thing. that’s so much time. and it’s so much work. it’s work I can do in theory and they’d help me but#god I don’t know how to feel abt this#it’s also a field which I’m definitely interested in but in a way where I’m not sure if I’m That interested yknow. but I think I also am?#I’m terrified that I won’t like it and I realise I don’t want it but get offered it and cannot turn it down bc of how big it is#genuinely the worst part of this is I have a shot. my boss’ boss recommended it to me and she’s fucking insane#I have the draft ideas for what I think is a decent application I just gotta write it but again. it feels like I’m dying.#but I gotta do it by Thursday and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#I’m terrified and I think it’s also something I can’t not put an application in for or I’ll regret it. so I’m going to do it scared.#I’m going to do it sososososo scared. like. literally had to stave off a panic attack at work after talking to my boss abt it today.#I haven’t had one of those in a while#if any of you are reading this and have the space to talk abt this rn pls text me i know I’m allowed but I didn’t wanna bug anyone rn#okay. it’s 10:30. I think I can let myself do this tomorrow. and I’m working from home so I will do it on the clock <3#for now I’m allowing myself to think abt dnd.#luke.txt
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ms-demeanor · 19 days ago
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Hi, I share your strong pro-medicine, pro-vaccines, anti-woo beliefs. I also have chronic digestive issues and insurance that won’t cover the useful specialists. The gastroenterologists I’ve encountered are helpful for making sure my insides look okay but they don’t seem to have much training around nutrition and food science. Nutritionists are unlicensed and I find them about as trustworthy as chiropractors, and I can’t get insurance to cover a registered dietician. The internet is saturated with pseudoscience junk and “miracle cures”, and in moments of desperation I’ve fallen for some of them. Luckily I haven’t been harmed by anything so far, but I don’t think they helped much either.
I was wondering if you or your followers have any resources on IBS and/or GERD that are scientifically sound and written for a general audience? Or advice for identifying when pop-sci-style “food science” articles are a scam?
I deeply regret to inform you that I was so annoyed by this exact problem that I literally went back to school to start working on getting a degree in nutrition and got two and a half years into a second bachelor's degree before realizing I wouldn't be able to get into any programs in my area that I could afford because the local state schools aren't accepting second bachelor's applicants. (Cal State Chico, I love you and you are too far away, it's not meant to be)
Nutrition information online is completely infested with woo and I am hesitant to point people toward one of the good resources I used to reference because it is politically batshit.
If you are looking at a food science article on the internet and are trying to figure out if it's a scam the big red flags to look out for are:
anything claiming to be a silver bullet; there are no silver bullets, no magical treatments, no one weird food that will fix the problem or one weird supplement that will make everything better.
Over-emphasis on a specific type of diet (diet as in "all the food that a person consumes" not as in "weight loss tool") for a general population. It's irresponsible to recommend a rigorous, restricted diet to a wide variety of people because people are so different that one diet that works for one person (say a vegan diet) might be unhealthy or difficult to manage for another person who would thrive on a different diet (low fat, low carb).
Anyone who tells you to cut out an entire food group or macronutrient is a liar who is trying to get your money. Unless it is your personal medical doctor who is saying "you need to stop eating grains" you do not need to stop eating grains and should not stop eating grains. You also do not need to stop eating fat, or eat only protein, or cut all fruit out of your diet. (caveat: there are some conditions that require a very low fiber diet, but even on that diet there are some fruits you can eat)
Beyond that, what you can do to make sure you're getting the best information possible is:
look up the author of any article you're looking at and see what else they've written; check what their qualifications are. See the people they interact with or have collaborated with. If they work heavily with people who are, say, antivax or proponents of raw milk, you should not trust their work.
If you see something that claims to treat your condition or help with nutrition, search "[subject] research study" or "[subject] scholarly research" and see what comes up. Read at least a few papers on the subject and see if there's a consensus or if there are broad disagreements. Get into the habit of looking up the impact scores of journals and researching the history of the journals.
Learn to recognize the woo keywords with your particular illness. For celiac that's "leaky gut," and any article I come across that discusses "leaky gut" gets extra scrutiny because sometimes there are legitimate reasons to describe a "leaky gut" but more often there are woo nonsense reasons. One really good way to figure out what the woo keywords for your illness are is to search "[your illness] + [woo huckster]", so "celiac + joseph mercola" or "celiac + the food babe." (those are good starting places to see what woo is popular around anything nutrition based, really; nothing those two say is trustworthy) you can also try "[your condition] + [specific type of medical woo]" with, like, "chiropractic" and "homeopathic" and "holistic" in the second box.
Be wary of positive assertions without evidence. If someone is making an affirmative statement and they aren't providing a citation, be suspicious.
Anyway. Good luck. It sucks out there.
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cupidkenji · 7 months ago
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If you think I'm pretty
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Now playing: if u think i'm pretty - Artemas won't you give that shit a rest? Pairing: Homelander x afab!reader CW: fingering, praise, slightly OOC homie, threats of captivity (he says hes gonna keep reader in the penthouse that's it I promise it's not genuine), cursing, sub!reader, porn without plot (I think this is applicable), they're in a relationship before this, reader says 'John' cause moaning homelander is funny as fuck Summary: Being a perfectionist, you're unsatisfied with a recent test score. Homelander has a cure for that. Disclaimer: reader is always thought to be chubby/fat but there are no physical descriptors here, just an FYI WC: 1,955 Genuinely idk I'd like to apologize for this. I fell out of my Criminal Minds hyperfixation like months ago and haven't written since so I'm really rusty. This is 100% a self-insert but reader is gn and not described other than the fact that they're AFAB. Also this was only proof read once so please point out typos if you see them <3
Your mother used to scold you for being too hard on yourself. Her face is virtually the only thing you can picture as your screen burns your eyes a bit. It’s too early for the high brightness of the device, having woken up before the sun could reintroduce your eyes to light. You’d set yourself up to wake slightly after midnight, intending to check the score of a huge test you’d taken months ago and simply go back to sleep in a matter of minutes. A rather stupid plan, in hindsight. You were questioning now if you knew yourself at all. Your phone had nearly been in your hand when you felt the cold burn of anxiety in your lungs. This test was a huge fucking deal. You were a hardcore perfectionist on top of that, trying with countless futile attempts to surrender your idea of the model score. You just needed to pass, not get your professor to memorialize you in marble for your pure genius. You’d gotten up instead of turning on your phone, brushing your teeth and making your bed before pacing the room slightly while you thought. Essentially, you were just allowing the mantra of ‘cope’ to bound back and forth between your ears for a couple minutes. You weren’t sure if you wanted to cope with the disappointment of a lesser score, or you were telling yourself to come down a couple pegs and be happy with getting by. The repetition of the word soothed that icy-hot feeling that had festered from your lungs to your fingertips, and you checked.
You were fine. Not the score you wanted, but you were fine. 
Mentally you writhed against the slump of your shoulders, but the weight of this self-inflicted shortcoming hit harder than you were capable of defending yourself from. The long sigh you let out was all frost as the tension left your airways. How underwhelming. You laid down on the bed you’d made not ten minutes ago, hearing the window slide open a few seconds into your pity party. You normally left it unlocked for him, knowing if anyone else attempted to enter your home, he wasn’t far. He told you himself that he seemed to have tuned into you specifically; swearing he’d be able to hear you on the other side of the city if you needed him.
“It’s way too early for you to already be having a bad day. The sun’s not even up.” He was closer now, fully sealed into your space and approaching you with comfortable footsteps. You never fully got over the irony of seeing America’s greatest hero flying through your window in sweatpants. “What’s wrong?” You always noticed the subtle way he changed how he spoke around you. In every interview or interaction you’d ever witnessed of his, he’d spoken like a character. For a man who hated having his words scripted, he spoke the same as every cookie-cutter movie he’d starred in. He didn’t talk that way with you, something you hoped was subconscious. A demonstration of the safety he felt around you.
You shrugged in response to the question. You acknowledged the trivial nature of your feelings, knowing you probably reeked of sadness to him but attempting to downplay it anyways. “Bad test score.”
He sat down next to you on the edge of the bed, allowing you the space to remain sprawled out. “Doubtful.” He laughed slightly as he said it, shaking his head and smiling. He looked at you, his eyebrows furrowing minorly. “What’d you get?”
“A four.”
“What were you hoping to get?”
Your voice was barely audible as you spoke, knowing he would pick it up but also trying to spare yourself the rush of immaturity hearing yourself speak would bring. “A five.”
He sighed - a sigh full of endearment that his eyes reflected as he looked at you. You told him once that his eyes were the first thing you’d noticed. It was sunny the day you’d met, and they looked practically ethereal. You’d seen such chaos reflected in them even from day one. The masses called him ‘soulless’ often, but you couldn’t understand such an accusation from anyone who had ever seen him. His eyes were practically overflowing with soul, every time you looked at him it was all you saw. They were capable of incredibly dangerous things but they were so entrancing. He was so fucking enticing. 
You broke the eye contact, but he nudged your leg and moved his head to try and follow your eyes. “Hey-” He called for your attention, so you looked back at him. “You know that’s a good score, right?”
You smiled small at him. “No- I know. I’m just…I don’t know- strict with myself.” You found it hard to put into words. You knew you’d done well, but the ability to feel pride felt withheld from you. Like your eyes bore into it but your mind refused to distribute the feeling it brought to something tangible.
“I think you’re just too much of a fucking perfectionist.” His hand was splayed across your upper thigh from where he sat. No matter which part of you he touched, he had a grip that made your head spin. He was so sure of himself, the strength demonstrated from such an unassuming form never lost the novelty that it’d held when you met him. “Can’t let yourself admit when you did good.”
You tried to be dismissive, but it was hard to fake anything with a man like him. “As if you aren’t, John.” His jaw got the slightest bit tighter at the use of his name. Such a miniscule action that easily dodges the eyes of people who aren’t looking. You couldn’t really imagine not looking at him.
“I’m serious.” His face was still relaxed, but the expression in his eyes had shifted. His pupils dilated and his full attention was on you. “You did good.”
The only con of being with somebody with abilities such as his was the lack of secrecy. You used to laugh with your friends about how grateful you were for the discrete nature of arousal when living without certain body parts. That went out the window when you started seeing him. He knew the second anything shifted within you. He had every perversion you’d ever dreamt about practically categorized by the time your two month anniversary had rolled around. One of his favorite pastimes was casually working a turn-on into conversation and just watching you squirm.
You fought the urge to pull away from his hand, feeling your stomach drop slightly at a declaration like that. “Thank you.” You looked away from him again. Something you knew he didn’t really like but choosing to try and save face over anything else. 
“Yeah…I don’t know.” You could see his focus on the topic increasing by the second. His disposition was happy, but he held serious and almost threatening undertones. He tightened his grip on your thigh and you looked at back to him, hesitantly following the silent command to keep your eyes up. “I think you should say it.”
“John-” His assertiveness was starting to get to you, it always did. You sat up on your forearms to be a little more level with him but he moved his hand from your thigh to your stomach and pushed you back down. The thought of having to lay there and explicitly state that you did well on your test felt like a kid having to write in repetition on a chalkboard in detention. 
He was looking down at you, the eye contact making you slightly dizzy. His face was kind, it almost always was when he was around you, but the conversation was derailing. “I just think it’s important that you understand this.” He was so good at making you want what he thought was best.
You inhaled, swallowing your pride and licking your lips. “What do you want me to say?”
That familiar, condescending smile was starting to creep onto his lips. “Just tell the truth.” His eyebrows raised slightly in a silent prompt. “Say you did good.”
His hand was descending from your stomach, making it’s way to the hemline of your underwear. You hadn’t bothered to change out of what you were sleeping in, only now realizing the vulnerability of it. You held your tongue for a moment, breathing out a quiet “I did good.” 
He tore the only fabric between his hand and you off your body as easily as ripping a sheet of paper and leaned in a little more. “Say it again.”
“John-” You said it as barely an exhale as he skimmed his hand over you. You hadn’t even registered just how sensitive or how wet you’d gotten in the few minutes you were talking to him.
“I don’t know why you act so fucking noble. You should be running Ashleys around in circles or giving interns your coffee order. Not any of this testing bullshit that you’re too good for anyway.” His tone elevated to that mocking, cocky tone that swept into the most shame filled crevices of your mind and tugged the most deprived parts into the driver seat. He thumbed at your clit while he spoke, increasing and decreasing the pressure whenever he felt like it and effectively snatching any remaining ability to form coherent thought from your grabbing hands. “You’ve been chosen by a God, honey. You can do anything, I can give you anything.” He got breathier as he spoke, seemingly soaking up the desperation you were excreting and matching it in a tenfold.
You felt two of his fingers enter you effortlessly and you couldn’t stop yourself from gripping his arm. You always felt the power imbalance most in times like these. A feeling like pulling an angel away from heaven just for yourself, combing through it’s wings with your fingers or trying to lap up a fraction of that status in a wildly inappropriate disregard for the natural roles of nature. He was so much more than you, but he just wanted you to feel good. You swore under your breath as he started circles on your clit. He never got hand cramps, never got tired. He would go until you couldn’t anymore.
“That’s it.” He had barely said it, more just exhaled the assurance under his breath. You were close, you’re sure he could feel it. “Gonna move you to my penthouse. Keep you braindead and needy.”
 It shouldn’t have hit you the way it did. Considering who he was, he could easily fulfill that promise with nobody at Vought even thinking twice. It was the way he said it, the way he acts. Always needing control and always right. The most powerful man alive spent his time fantasizing about control over you, and your stomach twisted in disgust at how badly it got you off.
He slowed his movements as your high declined. He was breathing heavy, but your heart was beating like a drum. He had the smallest smile on his face like the sound gave him a sense of satisfaction. You rose to your forearms, this time with no protest from him, and watched him stand up. He held the back of your head with the hand that wasn’t nearly dripping and kissed the top of your head. It was chaste and quick, but the domesticity of it made your throat ache. He uttered something about getting a towel to clean up, stating he’d be right back before exiting the room. 
You rushed the words out before he could leave. “But you didn’t-”
“Next time.” He just waved you off. “I just thought you deserved a little reward.”
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brynn-lear · 17 days ago
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Put Another "X" On The Calendar [Yandere Angel of Death!Sunday/Reader]
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Unreliable Synopsis: To be rejected by the angel of death himself… you must be heaven's favorite chew toy if he won’t let you die as intended. But this year will be the last time you'd play with his games. [5.6k words]
CW/Tags: gn reader, explicit and detailed suicidal themes, alcohol, very soft yandere angel!Sunday, dead dove: do not eat. Please prioritize your mental health first; you matter more than you think. This is first and foremost an expression/vent of real struggles, not a romanticization of the tags mentioned nor does it promote it as a solution.
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𝟒��,𝟖𝟐𝟒 𝐒𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐌 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐔𝐑𝐄. Nostalgia has grown unfamiliar for the past days— you can’t even fathom having the same bitter acknowledgement you had years prior. Someone once said a person shall always remain a stranger to themselves, and you dearly wish you still recall who that was so you could ask if it is in the same degree you feel now. Too often does the mind ask the necessity to get up every morning, until mornings become noons— and finally, evenings. Minimizing your waking hours as much as possible to avoid confronting the state of your own mind and body.
Today is Saturday. Or was it Sunday? You can’t remember. You only remember dates when there’s a deadline. And here you are, with another late submission.
Barely dressed for the snow, you leaned against the cold door.
“You’re here again? Why do I keep finding you here?”
The man turned around.
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𝗖𝗢𝗟𝗨𝗠𝗕𝗜𝗔 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗧𝗢𝗖𝗢𝗟 (𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗠)
I have read and understood this consent form, and I consent to the processing of my personal data. I agree to the inclusion of my anonymized data in research publications and understand I can withdraw my consent at any time. I acknowledge that confidentiality may be breached in cases of high self-harm or suicide risk to ensure my safety, which may involve sharing information with relevant professionals. I also understand that my consent does not affect other lawful grounds for data processing or waive my rights under the Data Privacy Act of ████ and applicable laws.
Client ID: ████████████
1) In the past month, have you wished you were dead or wished you could go to sleep and not wake up?
🟥 YES
⬛ NO
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It’s him again. The man that keeps hanging around your university’s Architecture Building rooftop. 
He smiled softly. “I could say the same to you.”
Despite the coldness of December, you came here with nothing to shield from it but the blazer your mom bought years ago for her office presentation. This stranger was almost as terrible as you were, in an opposing sense. He was draped all over, but his style seemed almost more overprepared for fall when it’s winter.
You let out a soft noise. 
Sometimes, you look forward to seeing this stranger on the rooftop. 
Trudging towards him, you asked plainly. “Who are you even waiting for?”
“I usually tell people that it’s my sister.”
You decided to ignore his strange phrasing.
“Can’t you two meet elsewhere?” You spat, unable to hide the disdain. Your voice made you cringe. More than anyone, you know how vile and cynical you truly are, but to let it be known now is counterintuitive. “I’m sure there are better meeting spots. Dreamjolt Cafe’s just around the corner.”
The stranger looked down, his eyes almost fluttering shut with a tense gulp. “I suppose there are more convenient locations. But…”
“But?”
He stared at you. His bright golden eyes that many complimented in your view looked as dull as the snow. No doubt he’s beyond human. This handsome stranger has no right to exist. He only serves to remind you how much you lacked while also blocking the sweet release you’ve been chasing.
Sometimes, you wish he was as lonely as you.
“But to leave is to take away far more than just promise,” he whispered but no breath painted the air. “To leave is to let someone down. Somehow, I feel as though I do not need to explain this to you.”
“You don’t have to.” You said out of disinterest.
“Other than that, I enjoy coming here and staring at the sky. The sight here reminds me of my purpose.” He stared at you intensely. “There's always a paradise that needs to be built. That vow is like the sun in the sky— perhaps I'll melt and fall before reaching it... But some hardships I must endure."
He took off his scarf and reached it out to you.
You blinked, raising a hand in protest. “No need.”
“I need it the least. Take it. You’re cold.”
Most days, you wish you could make him as lonely as you. 
“I don’t feel anything and I don’t like owing anyone anything.” The words slip out of you easily.
You don’t want to extend your time here for a random stranger.
“I know.” He muttered. “But still, take it. If I’m not careful, it may just be the only physical thing I can leave behind.”
For a moment, the sun and earth were silenced. You took the scarf, circling the soft fabric with your fingers. It was azure with speckled star patterns, ranging from complex to the most simple X-s and dots. You didn’t say another word. It was understood from then on that you both might’ve come here for the same reason. The rooftop was the haven for when the physical conditions that existence brings are met with crushing defeat. If he asked you the same question you had moments prior, you’d have but one reply:
It’s the tallest building on campus; I came here for the view.
With dissipating reluctance, he approached you and wrapped the scarf around your neck. His gloved fingers were shaking, but you made no comment. As you stare up, you’re greeted with the sight of his flushed cheeks and pursed lips. Yet, you’ve no motivation to return the scarf. 
Maybe the frostbite makes him feel a little more alive too.
As if to affirm your suspicions, he took off his own gloves. The act made the skin he hid with the long sleeves of his jacket visible. It was not your intent to be nosy, yet you saw the bandages wrapped around him. Gauze pads in places you’d expect it to be. The sight must’ve distracted you long enough, since the moment you looked at your own hands— it wore the black gloves he donned.
You’re wearing his scarf and gloves— he has nothing. No fur, no anything. Just him and a black coat, white shirt, and pants. Yet his limbs did not tremble. The temperature had no effect on him.
Finally, he gave you his name. 
“You can call me… Sunday. And you?”
Sunday.
You blinked. “Like the day after Saturday?”
He chuckled humorlessly. “Exactly like the day after Saturday.”
With that, you decided you do not like him.
Call it competitiveness, call it frustration— name the emotion for whatever is convenient— but there’s no pleasant note to describe him. Objectively and instinctively, Sunday is predictably a good man. But the maggots that crawl inside you scream just how much he has no place in your life. They writhe behind your eyelids, burning with an unspoken illness that wanted him miserable.
“(Y/n). (Y/n) (L/n).” You answered. “Realbrook Dorms. Room 404.”
To die beautifully and meaningfully. You don’t have that privilege.
Sunday’s eyebrows furrowed. “Why did you tell me that?”
The dorm may just be the only physical thing you can leave behind.
“I don’t know.” You laughed, averting your gaze.
“Just in case you want your scarf back, I suppose.”
And you know what?
You’re sure he knows that you’re broken, too.
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2) In the past month, have you actually had any thoughts about killing yourself?
🟥 YES
⬛ NO
3) Have you been thinking about how you might do this?
🟥 YES
⬛ NO
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𝐀𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧— but the higher beings routing out pest control. Entering the classroom filled with those bright and beautiful, those who were born to be who their program says they are, has patted you with the crown of envy.
No amount of pomodoros, no higher statistic in your Focus Plant app, can make you even a fraction of their genius. Depressing, but true. 
How can you even compete with a room of intellectual gatekeepers?
You’d ask a question, hoping to learn, and all they hand out is a vague response. Not an explanation, but enough for them to say “oh, but I replied, haven’t I?”
These Penaconian Science High School graduates surely are the cream of the crop, and they won’t spare other people’s hopes and dreams to get what they want. 
It’s fine, you tell yourself. This is a highly competitive university. You expected this. It has a name. Your tuition is free. Everyone is a scholar. You just have to hold your breath and live through this. For the future you promised your loved ones.
Of course, assuming you can exhale after 3 more years. Assuming you still have a beating heart inside.
You bought another notebook today after you lost your previous one. The old one’s probably hidden under your “organized mess”. 
But at least you can force yourself to write good things again.
𝟷𝟸.𝟶𝟿.𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟺
𝙸 𝚝𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚊 𝟼𝚔 𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚙 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚔.
Walking, not running or jogging, is the only healthy hobby you have. Writing consumes you while art reminds you of your worthlessness. It’s a short sentence, but that’s fine. That’s why you bought a pocket sized notebook in the first place. 
Having that as a first entry is 3 miles better than a detailed plan of which sea you’ll last disappear to.
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4) Have you had these thoughts and had some intention of acting on them?
🟥 YES
⬛ NO
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𝐀𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐲. You opened your dorm room. Thankfully, as it was the only stroke of luck you had that day, none of your roommates were around. You let your bag slid from your shoulders down with a loud thud.
For a few minutes, you squandered it salting the hard boiled eggs you bought with your own tears.On the floor no one was industrious enough to sweep, you sat. You had no energy to climb up your bed. It was just you and awkward silence. 
It’s Christmas season.
You have no good memories of it. You barely left your room.
Maybe you should’ve known that every December would compete for which year was the worst. The best December had to be the year when you’d receive terrible exchange gift presents like cheap junk food while you and your mother chipped in to buy a great gun toy. Then the worst was your first christmas without that family member you were closest to. When you’re reminded how deeply grief can cut through while everyone’s in good cheer.
There’s a knock on your door. 
Quickly, you put your jacket back on and wiped your nose. You twisted the doorknob open, already feeling terrible for the housekeepers. They often report to your parents when they decide to visit. So you’ll just slip in your excuse in the middle of the conversation.
“Hi, sorry Miss Rena, I’m sick right now— cold, really. Did I accidentally leave my water bottle on the study hall again—”
“Good evening, (Y/n). May I trouble you for a moment?”
You flinched at the familiar but oddly placed sound.
“Sunday?” Your eyebrows furrowed. “How did you— oh, right, I did tell you what my dorm was.”
Here he was again. You had half the mind to think he would only spawn on the rooftop, but you were wrong.
“It’s rather reckless of you, and I hope you will refrain from doing that to other men.” 
There was a dark tilt in his tone and his gaze matched it perfectly. Years ago, that could’ve put shivers down your spine. But you no longer care for most things.
You can only mimic a nervous laugh. Mimicking what you would’ve sounded if you still cared for your own safety.
Sunday offered you a small smile.
“How many times do you walk per day this month?”
“Huh?”
What a strange question.
He looked at the window. “Let’s walk outside. You haven't done ten thousand steps in a day for quite a while now.”
“What a rude assumption.” You scoffed.
“Was I wrong?” He asked, but the innocent tone made you second guess the teasing nature of his words.
If you two were close, your roommate’s unsuspecting pillows would’ve hit him square on the face. Sunday opened your wardrobe and grabbed the scarf you gave him.
…Why does he know where you kept it?
He opened the door wider.
“Come on,” he replied. “Let’s take a walk.”
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You don’t know why, but your guard is always down when you’re with him.
Maybe you no longer have any sense of self-preservation. Which makes sense, given your real goal. However, unlike most, you do not love being loved. Being cared for ultimately turns into a debt to be repaid in your eyes. Yet, you couldn’t stop Sunday when he wrapped the scarf snugly around your neck. 
The two of you walked around the area. Sometimes, he’d talk about the people, animals, and objects of nature that piqued both your interest. Despite being nearly strangers, he was oddly calming to be around. 
Sunday held your hand as you both walked, like it was a matter of time till it crumbled. His eyes had this persistent pleading you refused to acknowledge. Even in silence, it was asking you the worst request.
To stay alive.
“Why did I cross your mind?” You asked him. “Why did you suddenly visit my dorm?”
He stopped walking.
“... Instinct.”
“Instinct?”
“Just a feeling, that something might…” He muttered a word nearly inaudible. “If I was away. Humans are not perfect individuals. Quite the contrary, their hearts are filled with contradictions at every moment.”
Sunday’s gaze softened, hurt.
“Which is why, even if you tell me you are doing fine, I am inclined to believe that the opposite is the case.”
“...I see.”
You subtly tried to get out of his hold, but he didn’t let you go.
“Why do you care?” You continued walking, and he resumed too. He always matched your walking speed. That in itself felt nice. That someone would adjust for you, that is. 
“I believe it’s… human nature to care.” Sunday hummed. “Listening has always been my job.”
You laughed. “I guess so.”
Quietly, you took note of that.
“Here.” Sunday pointed at the benches.”Let’s take a rest.”
The university nearby— not yours— just installed more carved wooden benches. When he sat down, it felt like it was made for him. Quietly, you sat down beside him. He sits up straight, unlike you. You’re hunched back, fiddling with your hands as though there was an invisible toy that stole your attention.
Sunday sighed softly. "The evening light does tend to settle the heart, does it not? A quiet reminder that even the longest days must come to their end."
You looked at the sky.
"I guess. The day ends, but what comes after doesn’t feel much different.” You chuckled. “Same old suffering.”
“Perhaps there is something in the simple act of continuing. Something... precious in that.” He said. “We all walk our own paths. Though it may be lonely, as long as we keep moving forward, we won't forget each other.”
"Sure, if you're feeling masochistic enough in waiting for something that never comes." You huffed. "I've grown past that phase. Multiple times."
“Life has a way of leading humans in circles, only to place us where they are meant to be, even if they cannot yet see it."
“And spoiler alert, I’m not meant much for anything.” You looked up to meet his gaze. 
“But thank you, anyway. It’s nice to have a brief respite, even if it comes from the man I keep spotting on the rooftop.”
“And I’ll continue to materialize there if you refuse to have a truce with yourself.” He half-chided, half-teased. “I am the only one who truly understands you, who knows the depth of your heart, even when you can’t bear to look at it yourself. And until you no longer go to the roof to see the view from up there, I’ll continue to linger.”
There’s a blank expression on your face. An expression no human should be able to read.
But he can.
“(Y/n), if you need anything. I’ll be there. As I always have.” Sunday looked back at the winter sky. 
“And I’ll remind you of that everyday if I have to. Because that is what I choose to do. If I’m forced to take you, I—” Sunday closed his eyes. “I don’t know what I’d do.”
You’re not smart, but you understood what this was about.
You’re his.
You may not "know" him, but you’re his reason. His only reason.
And wishing for death threatens all his plans.
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5) Have you started to work out or worked out the details of how to kill yourself? Did you intend to carry out this plan?
🟥 YES
⬛ NO
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𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 just as you were making weak attempts to tug the sleep you’ve been missing for 5 years. There’s supposed to be an Engineering BINGO event today. You skipped it and thanked the campus for once that there’s no classes. Your rough, useless hand frantically attempted to hang up as if it’s no different from snoozing an alarm. But it was Hailee. The only person who ever regularly talks to you.
You answered, voice groggy at 3 PM.
“Heyyy (Y/n), where are you?”
“Hail—” you muttered. “Just sleeping.”
“You’re not coming? Cocona just won an IPad!”
“Good for her, good for her.” You didn’t really register what she said. “Since there’s no class I figured I’d just sleep in, you know?”
“Ah, yeah, I get that. I lowkey wanna go home too, but Max is having fun.”
“Yeah.” You yawned. 
“Hey, kinda random, but I just passed by Madeleine earlier.”
“Yeah well she’s always everywhere all at once.”
“Sure, but she was at the registrar.” Hailee paused. “She’s getting a transcript of records, I think.”
“What for?”
“I think she wants to transfer.”
You sat up.
“Really? Well, shit. I want in, too.”
“Yeah, same.” Hailee’s tone turned serious. “I want out of this hellhole too.”
“Hey Hailee?”
“Yuh?”
“I’ll call you back.”
“Oh, okay, sur—”
You messaged Madeleine.
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You paused.
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Why are you telling her this.
You and her barely talked.
You and Madeleine messaged each other more for a while. Each notif was a half-hearted argument against going through both plans. Words of how neither of you should go through it leaning as a suggestion rather than a real conviction. You'd agree, but you both know it’s just words. 
She didn’t mention her reasons outside academics, and you didn’t mention yours.
The hesitation lingers, but you both danced around it, sending stickers of people hugging, pretending you'll back out, even though you know you both know you won’t. Neither of you is truly convinced, and yet, the conversation went on a seemingly positive note.
It’s fine.
At least now, you know, that you aren’t the only one who tried their hardest with nothing to return to.
But there’s a voice in your head telling you no. 
It doesn’t belong to you. It is not your voice.
Yet it begged and begged.
Please, don’t do it.
And for now, you’ll pretend you’ll listen to him too.
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6) Have you engaged in, attempted, or planned any actions with the intention of ending your life? Examples: Taking pills, attempting to shoot yourself, self-harm (e.g., cutting), attempting hanging, taking pills but not swallowing, holding a gun but changing your mind or having it taken away, going to a high place but not jumping, gathering pills, acquiring a weapon, giving away belongings, writing a will or suicide note, etc.
🟥 YES
⬛ NO
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𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠. No one asked you to draw, but you figured since the man on the chair heavily recommended you get back to your old hobbies, you’d draw the people who consider you as a friend. So, you strayed from sketching topics that lead the mind wandering. 
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You stared at the screen blankly.
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Genuinely, you were caught off guard.
Careful. Don’t fool yourself that a small “thank you” means they would be there for you. You’ve been here before. Don’t be a pushover.
You closed your eyes.
No, thank you, Monica.
“Just a few more.” You muttered. “Just a few more portraits. Just one more holiday greeting. Just one more late video animatic birthday gift for Alex that I didn’t give weeks ago. And then—”
You can finally pardon yourself with the right to die.
Don’t.
Please don’t.
pleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon'tpleasedon't-
Your messenger app crashed.
You turned off your phone.
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7) If yes, was this within the past 3 months?
🟥 YES
⬛ NO
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You blinked.
A hand. A hand reaching out that isn’t “Sunday”?
Really?
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You laughed.
You laughed so loudly, you’d be glad if you remembered the fact that no one was around. 
It just feels so inhumane.
It is inhumane. 
So inhumane, that you felt offended for the last shred of humanity you thought you no longer had.
You cackled, feeling a drop on the back of your wrist.
The one time someone actually noticed you did not feel well. 
And they worry about someone else. 
You are such a fucking joke.
Your body shook, laughing at this unintentional cruelty. Air-like bile rises up your throat— your eyes burning. A few more laughter escaped your turtle lipped mouth. You couldn’t tear your pained gaze away from the screen. You wiped your eyes.
The funniest bit?
Crying won’t change a damn thing.
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It’s nearly 2025, and no good thought crossed your mind.
Just like your father said: everything is evil, it’s only a question of how much you’ll let the devil consume you.
Today is Tuesday. Or was it Wednesday? The man doesn't care to remember. He only remembers dates when there’s a deadline. And here he was, arriving at 11:59 pm. Just in time to stop another would-be tragedy. 
Barely dressed for the snow, “Sunday” leaned against the cold door, almost out of breath.
“You're here. Why must I keep finding you here…”
His purpose turned around.
It’s you. His ward that keeps hanging around the university’s Architecture Building rooftop… Now standing on top of your parents’ roof. 
You frowned deeply, tipping your weight slightly. “I could say the same to you.”
Before Sunday could utter a word, your phone buzzed. 
You grimaced as you saw the alarm. “Won't you look at thaaaat?! It's already 2 am. I'm so fucking stupid. I must've thought I set an alarm for 12 instead of 2.”
“Yes… Happy New Year, (Y/n). I hope your 2025 will be blessed.” Sunday spoke softly. His heart raced as he made slow movements to approach you. The man hoped he'd be close enough to pull you away from the edge.
“How much did you drink?”
You cackled.
“Weren't you already supposed to know the answer to that,” you slurred. “Septimus? THE Bronze Melodia?”
That was the exact moment… when your former guardian angel learned what it felt like for blood to run cold.
Once a guardian angel alongside his sister, Septimus was a protector of humanity, driven by a belief that he alone could heal the world’s ills. His perceived purpose blinded him of what was humanity’s true will, until the heavens cast him out for overstepping. Stripped of his former glory, he became the Angel of Death, his once-bright feathers now hidden in bandages. With each soul he reaped, the haunting melody of his fall lingers, a reminder of a savior who couldn't save himself.
And so, he only hoped that he could save you.
His one and lonely human.
Stirred awake were your memories when you first saw him on that rooftop. Even then, you knew who he was. It was the same fledgeling who kept you company in your silent home. The boy who listened to you talk for hours while everyone else “felt” a ghost. 
No matter how much he tried to look like the image of comfort, he would never be the character you used to love, in the same vein you can never return to the bright cheer you used to have.
“(Y/n), please…” Sunday begged. “Get off the roof.”
“My parents are asleep.” You hummed. “It’s 2 am. I’m on liquid courage. This is the only chance I won’t chicken out.”
“H-How did you know?” He asked. “Who I am?”
“I’m smart when it comes to things that don’t matter,” you cackled. “But ask me how to draw up a diagram for a unit process and I got absolutely nothing.”
You took a step back, which made Sunday take one harsh step forward. “DON’T.”
“Septimus, is it true?” You laughed again. “That you’re an angel of death?”
Slowly, he nodded.
“Yes.”
“Why haven’t you taken me yet? Does God have other plans?”
“T… Truth is, you should’ve died long ago.”
You’re not surprised.
“When I tried to open my guts with scissors, or when I tried to hang myself?” You huffed.
“Longer than that. I had to always snatch you away from your fate so you could have the chance to live on.” The angel spoke, voice weary. “I want to see you live another day. It’s what stripped me out of your guardianship in the first place.”
Once again, you’re not surprised.
“So it’s you…”
The anger in your voice was almost tangible. 
“So you’re the reason why I’m alive.” Your eyes twitched. “It’s you who kept stopping me.”
Sunday raised a hand. “I-I just, I want you to live long enough to see that a paradise can still be built—”
“My paradise is the ocean I want to drown myself in.” You spat. “Don’t talk about paradise when you know I can’t reach it.”
Sunday’s eyebrows furrowed. “That is not true—”
“Who else?”
“Who… else?” 
He’s taking ragged breaths. 
You knew it. Your hypothesis was right.
Keeping you alive is turning the angel of death human.
Many say angels do not have free will.
But this is what he chose to do.
Suddenly, his words on the roof made sense. Why he desperately wanted you to keep his scarf. Maybe there’s truth to it. Angels do not lie. Perhaps if he failed, he would’ve turned into ash and not human. 
Most days, you wished you could make him as lonely as you. 
Looks like in the end, you got what you wanted.
“Who else wants (Y/n) (L/n) to live to see another day?” You asked.
“Plen— some.” Septimus corrected his lie. “Some will want you to keep pushing forward.”
“Will, not would. Will is too late for anything.”
“Will because you don’t give them a chance to show they care.” He argued.
“They’d rather see me in a coffin than put in any real effort.”
“Why,” his voice croaked. “Why do you only assume the worst in people?”
“You know why. You know every ‘why’ there is.”
He inhaled sharply. They say to translate your thoughts and dreams into a creativity worth plagiarizing. Yet, when you’re one foot on the roof and one foot out the metaphorical door, you didn’t give a shit on becoming artistically verbose.
“No wonder I’ve never broken a bone.” You laughed. “And damn, I’d rather take a broken bone than whatever hell you’re putting me through.”
Sunday was close enough to touch you.
“Because despite everything, you are still you.” Sunday cooed, trapping you in his arms. “And as the being who loves you more than anyone—- who knows you when you are a stranger to your own self— I would know this.”
He pulled you closer by tugging your scarf. The same scarf he gave you.
And pushed you until you’re away from the edge.
“There is no sufficient reason enough for you to take your life.”
Sinfully, Sunday leaned your faces closer to once another. You smelled like wine. Sleep deprivation has made a lightweight out of you.
You shook, your voice taking a tone unfamiliar to you. Raw. Loud. There was frustration in it, which was the most harrowing emotion of all. 
“And so what? My problems aren’t bad enough— that I’m just a fucking loser who can’t get their shit together like EVERYONE ELSE? THAT MY OWN BODY GIVES UP ON ME?! TO THE POINT I FIND MYSELF PASSED OUT SLEEPING ON THE DIRTY FLOOR OF OUR UNIVERSITY’S FUCKING DRAWING ROOM?!”
“I—”
“I know what you’re thinking, it’s either one of two things. If you’re anyone else, you think I’ve matured too early, too fast, and if you’re just like my father, then I haven’t matured fast enough for you— isn’t that right?! I know what the FUCK that look is!”
You grabbed the collar of his shirt. 
“No one— NO ONE— fucking truly cares for me. No one PRAYS for me. You know the only people that I talk to nowadays?! Pixels. Fucking. PIXELS!!! So called people with faces I’ve never seen, just texts I have to imagine— just voices I have to convince myself are real. A human connection but not quite. And you know the amount of fucks they actually give?!”
It’s only then that you noticed your hands shaking, but that awareness only tightened your hold. 
“I can paint them a portrait as many as they want. I can greet them, make them laugh a bunch, but at the end of the day I’m hanging out where I don’t b-belong.” White knuckles. Short breaths. “I can listen, I can give people the time of day, but if you ask them what I’m going through, they don’t know jack shit. And there's my campus life, or lack thereof. Where do I even begin with that?!”
“I’ve sacrificed…” Your grip loosened. “I’ve sacrificed true friends, I’ve sacrificed time with family, sacrificed the remaining time I could’ve spent next to a dying loved one. I sacrificed my time, my literal blood, sweat, tears, and most importantly time— for a dream I was never meant to reach. Every morning I could’ve slept, every 6 hours I should’ve rested, there’s nothing. Nothing for a program I shouldn't have taken. And now they’re gone. One is even six feet under.”
You dropped your hold on him.
43,826 system hours.
“Let me through.”
Sunday breathed in shakily. “No.”
“Let me fucking through, Septimus.”
“Do you remember what I told you when we first had a proper conversion?” He retorted, breathless. “To leave is to let someone down, and I meant it literally. I shall not allow this. (Y/n), you just need someone to talk to.”
“And it’s not going to be you!” You laughed at his face. “Or anyone! There is NO ONE who can reach me, Septimus, there’s nothing that can fix THIS anymore.”
“Please, just hold on to me.” Sunday knew you were no longer hearing him. He knew there was nothing to be done. But he clung to your clothes— clawed your back— rested his face on your shoulder. “I have nothing to offer you but myself.”
“Let me destroy myself.” Palms clamming up. Heart racing. “Let me end this.”
“Please, just… █████ █.” He leaned in to a degree you can’t feel anything but inches of his skin. “Just give me till █████ █ to prove to you that each day is worth living. Don’t take your life away for me.”
Sunday cried. His tears were warm, normal. 
“I-I would much rather be human than an angel of death, so I could take care of you.” He wept, holding you closer— back in his embrace. “For I love you with all I have. No other had made me feel this way.”
You fell silent.
“Until █████ █?”
With closed eyes and thin lips, he nodded reluctantly. 
“Until █████ █.”
Your shoulders relaxed, and with a heavy chest, you felt like you regained the ability to cry again.
Thud… Thud… Thud...
Faint, but even faint is enough.
“(Y/n).” Sunday— Septimus called out with a voice that finally reached you. With trembling lips, he cupped your cheeks. His golden eyes blocked the shade of the dullest moon. In that moment, he was the only light you cling to, and it will remain so until the date he has given. “Let me be your north star, your steady hand. Let me take care of you if you cannot take care of yourself.”
Wonderful, if true. But the maggots gnaw deep in your skin. Whatever affection he has for you must be unreal and unfounded. A dove catching a worm underneath its pointed claws when it was to crawl to the nearest cliff. There’s a glimmer so conflicted in his eyes. A lucid thought running in a path that circles both his ego and conscience. A truth he doesn’t speak aloud.
He’s selfish.
Sunday doesn’t want you alive for the sake of living. The still surface of the water should’ve moved if so. There would’ve been another angel— another song singing praises of life to lift you up. But it was only him. Always him. 
He wants you to live for him.
He wants (Y/n) (L/n) to live for the angel of Death. 
Selfish.
Selfish. Selfish. Selfish. Selfish.
But Sunday— Septimus— whatever this foul beast was— he knew that he’s wrong. He knows that what he has done has crossed another heavenly line. He knew that you were past your date. He knew he takes too much pleasure in seeing you alive because he allowed it.
Yet the heavens would rather see you suffer than have you take your life again. 
(Y/n)...
He loves you. More than everyone in the world.
But even he doesn't PRAY for you.
You laughed again.
“█████ █.”
You leaned against his chest.
“You've set the date, and I'll patiently wait.” You replied. “By █████ █, you'll do the work, that was your promise. Septimus, I'm tired of taking my own life, so do your job.”
“I'm sorry. I'm sorry…” Sunday mumbled. His shaky breath was more human than you could ever be. “I won't prolong your suffering anymore. I'm sorry. I’ll hold your breath, just as the heavens intended.”
“It's fine.” 
You've had your solace. The answer you've been looking for since you were young.
43,826 system hours.
And just 1,512 bit more.
“Cause every X on the calendar would make me feel a bit more okay.”
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ask-codeearasure · 2 months ago
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So... About that shitty Cross take that one person made....
If you've been following certain creators, even this account, I'm sure you've spotted a specific idiot going around complaining about Cross being Trans-Coded and using Republican talking points to say that it's "forced" or "doesn't make sense" and whatever other bullshit that shouldn't even be looked at let alone acknowledged. HOWEVER, instead, we are gonna sit down and talk about how the Trans Experience is so versatile and why Cross (and similar characters) being Trans-Coded is actually extremely important.
Gender nonconformity is fucking terrifying to Republicans, this is why it's been one of this generation's favorite punching bags.
If you look at the women who are tied to the Republican Party, you see a lot of hyperfemininity, so much so it's easy to tell that Barbie is considering suing them for stealing all her plastic.
Jokes aside, gender affirming care is gender affirming care and they are using the same gender affirming care that trans people have been using for years. This isn't only about nail products and cosmetic surgery, but also breast reduction or implant surgeries.
Gender affirming care however, is demonized by the right because they don't get it nor do they acknowledge that there is a range to it.
I once read a story about how one person had realized they were trans because a friend of theirs pointed out that when they had the option of choosing the gender of their playable characters in gaming, they always went with the gender they were not assigned at a birth. Example being an AFAB person constantly choosing male characters.
Though I have not finished watching Underverse this is applicable of XFrisk and XChara shoving the name "Cross" onto... Cross. They are pointing out he is not Sans despite being assigned that name since creation. Their true intentions here had cruelty in mind, but Cross made the name his own.
He is in denial about it which is applicable to how a LOT of trans people are in denial about it sometimes. Hell I remember a Right Wing talking head on Twitter who had tried to transition, detransistioned due to pressure from their family and then stayed at their assigned gender because of it and falling for the Republican propaganda.
Denial isn't just a river. It never has been.
Some people are in denial about their gender identities and sexual orientation and with the coming presidency we are going to see a rampant uptick in that statistic. With that coming, characters like Cross are needed far more.
Cross's story, as far as I've seen, is rough and follows a lot of self-acceptance and self-advocating storylines. Even when it comes to the biggest things that anyone from the LGBTQIA+ has to face, one of these struggles being the fear of rejection and/or being rejected by one's peers.
From what I've seen when it comes to spoilers is that Cross does end up being rejected by those he was close to before meeting Ink, and thus has to come full circle and accept himself by saying "I am Cross". He has to deny the name he went by in the past. He has to because if he doesn't, he'd be giving in to living in denial of who he truly is and thus be living a life of suffering for no reason than to keep others comfortable, setting himself on fire to keep people who couldn't give a damn about him warm.
A lot of Trans people have to show their rejection of their past or even the acceptance of that past to come to terms with themselves. Each person is different when it comes down to finding who they are and accepting that. It depends on the individual.
Some treat their past and their deadname as though they're a completely different person or someone who died so they could live. Think of a phoenix rising from the ashes.
Others treat it like their past self was the caterpillar where their new and true self is the butterfly.
Is it perfect?
No.
Is Jakei a perfect writer?
No. Neither are a lot of my favorite writers and franchises (I'm looking at you Riot Games and your shitty centrist takes on the worst of human history's sins).
But some of the things that imperfect writers make are beautiful and Cross is one of them. He is one of the few characters that speaks for the writer when it comes to saying "I see you, I see your pain. I see your suffering. You are not alone. You deserve to live your life the way you want to. You are valid."
But there are a few questions that the more clueless of people are going to ask.
Why bring Politics into this? And why do Republicans like the media made by progressives?
The answers are FASCINATING.
I bring Politics into this because Republicans, specifically Cishet white people, have made everything political since the beginning of time. Everything they don't like, everything different from them, everything they don't understand, and everything that directly rebels against their patriarchal idea of "paradise" is now considered "Political".
I remember a Republican had argued the dumbest thing once, and I was so dumbfounded I had to take a step back because holy shit.
Their argument was that black people enslaved each other which made their enslavement by white people their own fault.
Now if your jaw is on the floor, you already know where the problem is. If you don't get where the problem, is let me ask you something.
If that is the case, who was the one who made it all about skin color?
I'll tell you.
It was the white people (who were Democrats before the massive party switch, which makes them modern day Republicans).
Who were the ones who made having jobs all about gender? It was the Cishet white men (99% of whom are Republicans).
Who constantly demonized the LGBTQIA+ community during the Stonewall Riots? Mostly Cishet White Republicans.
Who are demonizing Trans people right the fuck now? Republicans and Pick-Me Gay people who vote for Republicans and side with Republicans thinking that the Republicans will finally accept them when they know Republicans won't fucking do it.
Being LGBTQIA+, making non-white characters, making a character a woman, it makes that character "Political", and "Political" characters are always the ones put on the spot for accusations of "forced diversity" and "perversion" where anyone with a working sense of conscience will understand this is a talking point butthurt Republicans or those warped by Republicans pulled out of their assholes looking for a problem where there isn't one.
All art, be it animation, digital art, traditional art, singing, writing, is political. They've always been political.
Do you want to know why Republicans are always bitching about coffee orders? It's because the Enlightenment era thus leading to the Romantic Era of literature was started because of coffee shops it was where all the best writers hung out. The moment they met each other and started talking to each other, the Enlightenment and Romantic Eras started taking off in full force.
It is because of the Enlightenment and Romantic Era writers we don't have Child Labor anymore. A lot of their writing brought talks of nature and the horrors of Child Labor into question. You can't talk about the history of Child Labor without talking about William Blake's Chimney Sweeper and Elizabeth Barrett Browning's Cry of the Children. You fucking can't. Without Blake and Browning we'd still have children in mines and on rooftops risking their lives to clean your fucking chimney.
And here is where we get to the why. Why Republicans LOVE progressive media.
Here is a little secret.
All shows and media made by Republicans are shit because it is all Propaganda.
I know. Shocker.
Look around.
Mr. Birchum, New Norm, Leo and Layla, it's all propaganda. It's all the same Republican talking points that they never shut up about and even then they don't know what they're talking about.
Ask a Republican what "intersex" means. Do it, I dare you.
They won't fucking know but they'll tell you that it's Satanic and shouldn't be allowed near children.
They'd never guess that it's a spectrum of natural gender nonconformity and mixed sexual/hormonal characteristics such as having PCOS or being AMAB and still having a functioning uterus. They don't care that their delusions about there only being "male" and "female" for reproductive sex options has led to medical malpractice, social abuse, murder, and erasure of intersex individuals, and the ones that do know about intersexuality diagnose it as a "Differential Sexual Development Disorder" as if just being born intersex makes someone's existence inherently wrong with an inherent need for surgical and hormonal "correcting".
Republicans like progressive media because it knows how to say something and still be well written. This is why Republicans LOVE Star Trek, Star Wars, My Little Pony Friendship is Magic, and Arcane.
It's all progressive media but it all knows how to build a world and say something. Good writers are progressive and know how to write.
Don't get me wrong there is a LOT of fucking garbage that tries to be progressive but that is a small outlier that Republicans LOVE to bring out and bash on to say that we're the ones who ruin media. They make false equivalences to try to make you stop thinking. They need stop-thinking clichés and talking points because it's all they have. But they are so fucking terrified of anything different from what is in their stupid bubble that saying "Oh yeah the champion Taliya is trans" will send them screaming and crying.
Yeah, Riot Games danced around the fact that one of their characters is Trans because they knew she'd scare off the entirety of the Republican player base. They had to hide it and use her magical girl skin to gently hint at it with "Yeah when I'm in this outfit I feel more like myself!" and the entire multi hour long Star Guardian album animation having the Trans Flag being the main pallet on everything.
I honestly wonder how many Republicans ran off when they saw THAT CaitVi scene in Arcane.
Republicans just hate anything that isn't Cis, isn't Hetero, isn't a man, and isn't white. This is why it's not uncommon to find that cishet white men are always found at Klan rallies or the modern Klan rallies which are called "Trump Rallies" these days.
This is why a lot of exhausted Democrats, Liberals, and BIPOC, Feminists, and LGBTQIA+ people have been laughing their asses off at the Pick-Mes who are getting fucked over now that they realize that surprise surprise, Project 2025 was the plan! We fucking told you so, dipshit!
This is what you asked for dumbass! We tried to warn you. You didn't listen. LESSON FUCKIN LEARNT!
Republicans like progressive shit because we make good media.
Republicans HATE anything that isn't CISHET and WHITE.
Now, am I saying all this to claim the person who made that anti-trans Cross post is a Republican, an abuser, or anything else that contributed to this systematic nonsense? Absolutely fucking not. That's an extreme statement to make and they're most likely just a very mislead kid who may or may not have been influenced by a couple of these problems, and them acting out the way they did is perhaps a reflection of how important it is to acknowledge these things even if our community is just fandom and the point is to have fun, to have a distraction from all the bad powers at play.
Either way, their actions pissed me off. Hope they learn.
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Get the fuck out.
-- Ouija
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peachyscenes · 2 months ago
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nine to five | office workers!enhypen x fem!reader
notes: SMUT!! so mdni and proceed with caution/at your own risk! porn with some plot. you 🫵, my dear reader are in fact the same person for the rest of this piece/mini-series (not sorry lol). enhypen are pervs! like freaky pervs! decelis corp is lowkey highkey a sex service company lol. you must really need this job but it's ok because same. not required, but i encourage you all to read part one to give it love 🫶🫶
a/n: i apologize for how short this might be, i've been busy with school and work, but i really wanted to get this part out. i'm happy with how it turned out, but if anyone has any suggestions, don't hesitate to reach out to me. happy first of the month!!
taglist!: @vixialuvs @chubbypeach2111 @jungwoosbaey
reblogs are appreciated!!
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Welcome to Decelis Corporation! As the new member of the creative department, you're tasked with developing new ideas to help promote the company and bring in new investors! Though the creative department is not as big as the other departments, you and your seven teammates are just as capable and incredibly skilled! Though, no one told you just how skilled they were... And unfortunately you made the mistake of not reading the fine print when signing the contract...
All members are welcome to explore the services provided by Decelis! By signing this contract, you are consenting to every and all services at your own expense (refer to the employee handbook for the list of services)! Please note that services outside of office hours will not count as overtime unless a request has been submitted by the team leader!
Thank you for joining Decelis Corporation! We hope to have you for a while!
Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII
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Part II: Jay, Administrative Assistant
You're on your way to your lunch break when Jay calls you to his desk. Sunoo, who's ready to clock out with you for the hour, looks just as confused as you are. Not because this isn't the first time that you've been called to Jay's desk, but because he always sends someone else to have you at his desk.
"Your report is terrible."
You grimaced at his tone, your shoulders coming up to your ears at how blatantly annoyed he is at you.
It's no secret that Jay does not like you.
You have no idea why. You try not to bother anyone at the office, going to Heeseung for any and all questions. You also meet your deadlines, even going as far as submitting them early. As for your reports, they're almost always viewed by Heeseung before showing the higher-ups.
But Heeseung is out for the week, meaning that Jay was stepping in for him.
"I'll review it after my break, Jay-"
"Jongseong."
"Right, sorry."
You internally cringe at forgetting the most important thing. He absolutely hates when you call him Jay. He made sure to tell you on your first meeting.
You were excited about working at Decelis. After multiple applications and what felt like hundreds of interviews with no results, you finally got a call back, and after a quick 10 minute interview, you were hired on the spot. You had came into the office the following day, dressed to impress and ready to take on anything that came your way.
You didn't expect to quite literally crash into him. His coffee had spilled all over his clothes and the files he was holding.
Jongseong had never been so pissed and while you were busy apologizing profusely, he made sure to tell you exactly what was up.
"If you want to keep your job, I suggest you take your head out of the clouds."
"I really am sorry... I'll pay for your dry cleaning," you look at his I.D. card. "Jay-"
"It's Jongseong to you."
Heeseung had to step in, apologizing to you on his colleague's behalf before immediately taking you away from the man.
You take back your report from his desk, avoiding eye contact as you hurriedly make your way back to Sunoo. He offers you a small awkward smile. He doesn't say anything, but his eyes tell you that he wants to know what happened.
"I just don't get it Sunny. I don't really bother him, y'know?"
You pick at your food, appetite lost after your interaction with Jay. Sunoo can only offer you a squeeze of his hand for comfort.
"I wish I could help you, but he kind of scares me when he's mad." You let out a huff, already dreading to go back to the office. And right you were. You expected Jay to be snappy with you, but you didn't expect him to be harsher than usual.
"I need that report by 5pm today."
"Can you please work more silently?"
"Stop congregating and get back to your desk."
"It's still terrible, revise it again."
Over and over, Jay would bark at you. Whether it's about your report or because you got up to fill your water bottle, he was on you. Your last straw was when you had tripped over his foot. Jake had given you some documents to scan in the printing room. Jay saw you when you were making your way, you didn't pay any mind to it until it happened. You scuffed a bit of his dress shoe, but it could be easily cleaned. Apparently, Jay didn't think so.
"You're such a klutz. You should watch where you're going-"
"You stuck your foot out on purpose." You cut him off. You've had it with him. "You saw me coming and stuck your foot out. If you wanted to pick a fight or get at me for the tiniest shit, then at least admit it instead of doing petty shit like this."
"Watch your tone. I didn't-"
"Stop with your bullshit Jay." You raised your voice at him. "I can't wait until Heeseung comes back." You angrily stomp out of the office to the printing room. As you were scanning through the sheets. You hear the door open. You expected it to be anyone else. You didn't expect Jay to follow you into the printing room.
"You've got some nerve talking to me like that in front of everyone."
You roll your eyes at him and return your attention back to the scanner. You're about to insert another sheet when he harshly takes the stack from your hands.
"What the hell is your problem-!"
What you also didn't expect, was for Jay to kiss you. His grip on your hips was harsh, likely enough to leave a bruise, but the juxtaposition between that and his lips made you dizzy. They were soft, tender on your own. You felt your breath being taken. He kisses you as if he needs you. His pace is slow enough for you to keep up. He sucks your bottom lip between his teeth and nibbles on it.
Jay kisses you differently than Heeseung, and admittedly you like kissing Jay more between the two.
He pulls away after what feels like forever. You finally catch your breath. It's shaky, and your hands have a tight grip on his dress shirt. Your lips are swollen, but you feel good. There's a buzz throughout your body, and Jay is there to soothe you as his hands massage your hips.
"You're such a brat, Baby. I know what you and Heeseung did."
Your breath hitches. You try to get away from Jay to avoid the embarrassment but he keeps you in place, between him and the scanner. He smirks down at you before leaning in.
"I don't appreciate your behavior from earlier. How about I teach you a lesson on respect, hm?"
Jay spins you around and starts to grope your ass. You moan lowly, liking the way he handles you body.
"Heeseung said you were a good girl, but you're so bad with me. Why is that?" His hands begin to ghost over the hem of your pencil skirt, groping your outer thighs. "I'm harsh on you because I want you to do better. You're always slacking off Sweetheart."
"Sometimes you're too mean..." you close your eyes, his hands are so warm. You find yourself relaxing and giving into his touches. "You tripped me on purpose earlier-!" You gasp when he smacks your ass. Your skirt stood between his hand and your skin, but you felt it. Your ass burns at his hit, and it's in that moment that you realize just how strong Jay is. You've seen him move things around the office on his own, and you grow wet thinking of how he'd maneuver you.
"I wanted to see if you'd pay attention. Now stay still and take your punishment like a good girl."
He lifts your skirt up and bunches it up around your waist. His hands skim over your pantyhose clad legs and ass and pulls at the material.
"These fucking tights. They make your legs look so sexy baby, but they're kinda in the way right now." You hear a rip, and gasp when his fingers trace your pussy lips from outside your panties. "So wet, do I make you this wet?"
You meekly nod, hissing out when he moves your panties to the side and immediately inserts two fingers into your sopping cunt. You grip onto the edge of the scanner, ignoring its little melody that signals to you that it's done scanning the document. Jay's fingers are thick, while not as long as Heeseung's, they fill your pussy up good. You mewl out when you feel his thumb tease your other hole. You feel a glob of spit land before he takes it and uses it as lube, teasing the tight ring of your ass before pushing it in. You tense up at the intrusion, but Jay shushes you and places a hand on your back to calm you. He pushes his fingers inside of your two holes in and out, double stimulating you.
"Jongseong! Fuck, your fingers feel so good." You feel yourself begin to move your hips in tune with his fingers, helping him reach deeper into you.
Your moans grow higher in pitch, not caring about where you are right now. Besides, you took the time to finally read the employee handbook after your encounter with Heeseung.
"F-faster Jongseong! Please! Wanna come!"
"You wanna come on my fingers baby? But I thought you said you couldn't wait until Heeseung got here." He fakes a pout as he rests his head on your shoulder.
"N-no! You! Want you to make me come." You throw your head back onto his own shoulder, tongue almost out from how good his fingers were.
"Who's better at filling up your cunt, me or Heeseung?"
You let out a whine, too embarrassed to answer because both men make you feel so good. Jay sees your hesitation as your mushed brain tries to come up with an answer. His free hand rounds your body to push past the band on your pantyhose and underwear, reaching your clit and pinching it harshly. You let out a cry at his ministrations.
"Answer me Baby. Or... is it something else?"
You nod, hoping he'd understand you, but Jay once again pinched your clit hard.
"Words, Sweetheart. Use your big girl words."
You grip his forearm, before finally breaking. Tears run down your face, you're not sure if it's from pleasure or embarrassment.
"B-both! You both fill up my pussy so good!" You turn your head towards Jay, and your eyes widen at how predatory he looks. He smirks at you, before moving is fingers at a faster pace. You moan out, head hanging as you feel the buildup of your orgasm.
"Gonna come! I'm gonna come Jongseong!"
And before you could, he stops his fingers and removes them from your holes, ripping you away from your orgasm. You let out a whine.
"No! I was gonna come!"
Instead, Jongseong gently pulls your skirt down back into place, turning you around to face him before placing a kiss on your forehead.
"Brats don't get to come until they apologize."
You stare at him, dumbfounded. He simply winks at you as he turns to leave, throwing a message behind him as he walks toward the door.
"I like when you call me Jongseong, especially when you're moaning."
You look away, feeling too shy to look at him. And just as he's about to leave, he leaves you with a final message.
"I'll be sure to inform Heeseung of your little... confession." You look up, confused by his words, when you see it. On his phone, a voice recording of everything that went down.
You feel yourself getting wet at the implications of Jongseong's words.
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tarragonthedragon · 9 months ago
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so I'm in the office when I hear it. the EIC, in the corner, my manager's manager, lights up the batsignal and voices a cry for aid:
"is anyone here who speaks Welsh?"
immediately, all heads turn to Charles' desk. Charles is Welsh. Charles takes several days to recover from the shock every time someone on a National Trust podcast mispronounces Llanidloes. surely Charles will answer the call.
Charles, the bloody nerve of him, is on Annual Leave to spend the Easter holidays with his son.
at this point I realise that several heads, including my manager's, are turning to me.
I do not speak Welsh.
I was brought up by a Welsh speaker, my grandmother, but given that we live in London and noone else in the family speaks Welsh, I only really picked up the most basic of family pleasantries. I can say cheers and goodnight, I can offer and order hot beverages, and I can answer the six questions people immediately ask when they find out you speak even a little bit of Welsh (the answer to all of these is as far as I can tell, yes but nobody says that. yes but it's baby talk. yes but it was a marketing scam. you know the ones)
I also have a master's degree in, amongst other things, medieval Welsh. as attention turns to me, I weigh up the possibility that the EIC needs someone to urgently translate Culhwch ac Olwen into modern English.
it seems unlikely. however, my CV says I have basic Welsh, and I need this job, so I head to the EICs desk with the thudding tread of someone bound for the gallows
further context-- 90% of my job is combing through business documents for aside phrases indicating business changes. this takes a lot of cross-referencing and close reading. I find this hard in my native language. I find it extremely hard in languages I'm fluent in. the idea of doing it in Welsh, a language where my conversation options are limited to "good morrow sir! the English advance on our left flank!" or "Mr fishy likes to swim", fills me with fathomless dread. in my head, I am writing my application to the next job.
the EIC turns a page around on the desk. "how do you pronounce this?"
I look at the word, relief beginning to sink in. Welsh is phonetic. even if I don't know this word, I can read it.
I do a double take. "Dai?"
"are you sure?" the EIC asks. "should I call Charles on his holidays just to check?"
"it's Dai," I repeat.
"it's not different if it's Welsh?"
I have absolutely no idea what she thinks the Welsh are doing to innocent vowel sounds that the English are not already doing. "it's Dai. like Dai Llewellyn."
"it's the same every time?"
"... yes"
"oh good." the EIC puts away her sheet and lets me go back to my desk.
as I sit down, the news editor at the next desk looks up. "so," he asks. "is it true that the Welsh for jellyfish is
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minkyungseokie · 10 months ago
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第一章| Getting the Job
warnings; age gap love(R: 23, S:39, T: 50), gxg, throuple, controversial age gaps, random German and Scottish pet names,
note; first chapter! Idk how many chapters this’ll have. I know it’ll include moodboards, smaus, blurbs, and specials that you guys can request!
note2; I don't really like Bianca, so she won't be appearing a lot in this series. I don't hate her, but I don't like her either. If you have an issue, don't complain, just stop reading ❤️
Taglist is open, but only for 19 more people
note3; I decided to give her cochlear implants because I want too. She’s deaf now
fc; imleslie(on a Chinese Instagram app called Xiaohongshu)
Come Talk to Me
Driven by Destiny Masterlist | Next
Autosports Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Toto Masterlist |
I do not give anyone permission to change, copy, or put my work on any other platform. It will only be on top, so if you see it, please report it. Or let me know.
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Susie huffed, looking down at the sheer amount of paperwork she had on her desk. She wanted to grab a bite to eat, but she had so much to do and she needed a lot more help than what the employees around her can provide. She pulled out her phone and texted her husband, Toto, for some advice. She was a strong independent woman, but even strong independent women need a bit of advice from their spouses sometimes.
And what she got from him was beyond helpful.
A personal assistant.
She was going to hire a personal assistant to help her around the Academy. The list of requirements wasn't long, but it was specific and the requirements that were listed were important for the assistant to have or they wouldn't work well together. Susie typed out the application furiously, making sure that all her requirements were stated clearly and made sure that whoever was filling out the application knew what they were getting into. She made sure they knew what they would be doing, an estimate about the schedule, and what she expected of whoever applied.
Susie finished up and posted it to the F1 Academy website. She also made a Instagram post about it that was a joint post with the official F1 account and the FIA account. With a sigh and a satisfied smile, Susie closed her laptop and put it in her bag.
Now all she had to do was wait for the applications to roll in. She didn’t expect too many since a lot of people were only interested in watching F1 or were, since the fans were mostly men, protesting against the F1 Academy.
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Y/n looked at the link that her sister, Rachel, had sent her. Y/n had told her that she needed a new job after finishing college and Rachel had sent her a bunch of applications to different jobs. They were all just random jobs she had found on the internet, which led to where she was now.
She was staring at an application to be a personal assistant to some billionaire's wife who was the leader of some academy for girls who like driving glorified go-karts. It paid more than any of the other jobs that Rachel had sent applications for. Y/n mumbled on her thumbnail, pondering whether she should aim high and apply for the PA job or should she just go for what she knows that she would be able to get.
Y/n was deep in thought when she was startled by the loud sound of her FaceTime ringtone, which happened to be one the songs from her brother's group. "Ah, shit!" Y/n yelled, nearly falling out of her chair, "Who the fuck?!" The dark haired girl growled, grabbing the phone off the table. "Hello?" Y/n answered, "Hey, Y/n. What are you up to?" The deep voice of her younger brother exited the phone as she set it up so he could see her.
"Ah, baby brother! How are you? Loving the new comeback." Y/n said, standing up to grab a bottle of water from her fridge. "I'm great. The comeback has been good so far. Have you heard the entire album?" Felix asked, "Yeah, of course." Y/n answered, sitting at the table once more. The two of them sat and talked about her brother's most recent comeback before the conversation turned to her.
"So, what've you been up to?" Felix asked, shoving what seemed like a chip into his mouth, "When did you get those?" Y/n questioned, pointing to the box of fried potato sticks. "Ah, Chan bright them to me a bit ago." Felix answered, shoving another one in his mouth, "Well, I was thinking..."
"Uh oh."
"Shut up, Lix. Anyway, I was thinking that now I finished University, I should get a new job. One that fits my expertise better, you know? So I asked Rach to help and she sent me some applications she found online..." Y/n said, looking at the open webpage. "Yeah?" Felix spoke, urging her to continue her words, "She sent me one for some F1 Academy. It pays well and I fit the requirements, but..."
"But what?" Felix urged, "I don't know what the F1 academy is and it's in Monaco." Y/n sighed. "Where's that?" Felix questioned, "It's, like, right beside Italy, I think." Y/n answered, "Okay, so what's the issue? It sounds like a good opportunity." Felix said. "I don't want to move away from our parents and sisters." Y/n set her head on her hand, using it as a way to keep her head up, "I don't think mum and dad would want you to hold back for them. Neither would Rachel and Olivia. They would want you to go. They wanted me to go." Felix spoke up.
"Felix, that's because it was your dream. Your dream was to be an idol, so of course they weren't going to hold you back from doing it." Y/n groaned. "Y/n it doesn't matter whether it's your dream or not. It's a better job opportunity for you until you're able to start modeling the way you want." Felix suggested.
Y/n thought about it. It would be nice to make money until she finds a modeling agency that wants to sign her because waiting around for something to happen won't make her any money. She needed to pay rent and keep herself fed, plus, from what she researched about Monaco, they did not collect personal income tax or capital gains taxes. There were no property taxes in Monaco, but rental properties were taxed at 1% of the annual rent plus other applicable charges.
Monaco sounded like a dream. She really didn't think that places like that existed, but knowing that she'd keep every penny of her hard earned money sealed the deal. Y/n applied for the PA position and closed her laptop, "Okay, now to wait." Y/n let out a breath as she looked around her house.
There was no way she wouldn’t be getting the job. She was once an extremely popular Formula Two driver before she ended up quitting. She had met the likes of so many old Formula One drivers who were excited to see her race alongside them when she was ready, but she unfortunately couldn’t continue due to her mother not having enough money for her to have a seat and unfortunately no sponsers wanted to sponsor her.
Y/n stood up and threw her water bottle away. She hadn’t kept up with Formula One since she had left Formula Two and she was kind of curious how her friends from karting and F2 were doing. They were obviously doing better than her since they refused to keep in contact with her, but it’s alright. She could barely remember anything about them anyway so it didn’t matter. It did when she was younger though.
After she left and they stopped talking to her, she felt like everything was falling apart for her. She was living in the UK at the time, but decided to come back to Australia to be near her half siblings and step mother and start her career in modeling or something in the industry. Of course, her plans to model next to the likes of the Hadid sisters or other popular models, had fallen through and she had only become famous as the half sister of Felix Yongbok Lee, the freckled cutie with a deep voice of the famous Korean pop group, Stray Kids.
Y/n pulled out her phone and ordered some food, hoping that it wasn't a bad decision to put in only one application for a job that might be out of reach for her. 
Oh well.
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It had been a week since Y/n had sent in the application and she had been waiting for the call back. She was sitting on her couch, staring at the large flat screen TV that was playing a Sidemen Reacts video that popped up on her feed while shoveling hwachae* into her mouth when the sound of another song from her brother's band rang through the air. Y/n picked up her phone with the spoon hanging from her lips and looked at the screen.
It was an unknown number. Y/n didn't usually answer the calls of numbers she didn't know, but something within her told her to answer it, so she did. After pausing the video, Y/n hit the green button on the screen and put the up to her ear, "Uh, hello?" Y/n answered, accent thick. "Uh, hello. Is this Miss Y/n L/n?" A sweet feminine voice that was paired with a Scottish accent, asked, "Uhm, yes. This is her. How may I help you?" Y/n asked, setting the bowl onto the table and sitting up straight. "Yes, this is about the application you put in for the PA position at the Formula One Academy." The woman said.
Y/n sat there for a hot minute before her eyes widened, "Oh! Yes, ma'am. What about it?" Y/n asked, "I wanted to call and let you know that we are interested in having you in the position, but first we need to schedule an interview. Is there a specific time that you're available?" The woman asked.
"Uh, I'm currently living in Australia and not moving to Monaco until a next month." Y/n said. Truthfully, she didn't want to being that up, but she knew that it would be suspicious if she scheduled the meeting so far away. She knew that the fact she was living in Australia could possibly ruin her chances of securing such a good job, but she just didn't have it in her to lie to the very sweet sounding woman.
"Okay, um, I'll be right back. Hang on tight." The lady said, "Okay, ma'am." Y/n said. Once the woman put her on hold, Y/n put the phone on speaker, muted herself, and continued to watch her video until she heard something from the woman on the other line. 
"Uh, hello?" The woman's voice spoke up. Y/n paused her video and quickly unmuted herself, "I'm here." Y/n spoke up. "Okay, so, we usually wouldn't do this, but we really think you'd be a good fit for the position, so I'll tell you what. Save this number. My name is Susie Wolff. Once you're moved into Monaco and finally settled down, give me a call." The woman, Susie, said. "Okay, thank you, Mrs. Wolff. I'll call you once I'm in Monaco." Y/n said, "Alright. See you then. Bye." Susie said before hanging up.
Y/n looked down at her phone with wide eyes before jumping up and onto her couch with a large smile, "I got it! I got it!" Y/n cheered loudly, jumping up and down as if she was a child on a super bouncy bed. "Holy shit, I have to let Felix know." Y/n said, jumping down from the couch and grabbing her phone, which fell out of her hand after she jumped up onto the couch. Instead of calling him, she texted him since she never knew his schedule.
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누나- Noona? 아, 누구세요?- Oh? Who are you? 현진- Hyunjin 릭시에게 전화기 좀 주실래요?- Can you give Lixie the phone please
⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎… ⋙
Y/n quickly went to the room that held the boxes that she would use to pack away her things and smiled. It was never too early to begin packing.
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Susie cheered. She had finally found the person she was looking for after a week. She was super lucky that she had decided to continue searching through the online applications rather than giving up on looking at the mediocre applications and deciding to hold a hiring fair or something.
Not only was Y/n L/n the most perfect candidate for the PA position, but she had the most relaxing and attractive voice Susie had ever heard other than her husband's.
Susie cleared her throat and looked at the work she had on her computer. She had never been as excited as she was now other than the time when she found out she was pregnant, had Jack, and started the Academy. Okay, she had been this excited before, but this is different. She can tell that she was going to be good friends with Y/n and shoe couldn't wait to work with the younger woman.
This was going to be fun
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↳ ❝ [Taglist] ¡!❞
@evie-119 @exotic-iris13 @alliwantisadonut @cheyxfu @xoscar03 @sunnylikesfrogs
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hyperpotamianarch · 28 days ago
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Hello. Today, I'd like to make some random anecdotes about Rabbi Avraham Ibn Ezra - poet, commentator, linguist, mathmatician, probably not too bad at chess and cursed to be poor for the entirety of his life.
After a cursory look at his wikipedia page, I must admit I didn't really know much about his life: only that he was born and raised in Spain, went travelling, had terrible luck with everything, wrote his commentaries on the Torah for money (which I think didn't help with the "cursed to be poor" thing), befriended Rabbenu Tam in France, possibly married the daughter of Rabbi Yehudah HaLevi and promptly died... somewhere... oh, and also wrote lots of poetry in the middle.
Historically speaking, he lived at the end of the Golden Age of Judaism in Spain, around the 11th-12th centuries CE. This puts him right after Rashi - which allows him to snark at everything he thinks Rashi was wrong about, but before Rambam - which means he doesn't get to snark at everything Rambam got wrong. His commentary on the Torah leans a little towards the linguistic side, though he has a couple of other things going on as well, like roasting people he disagrees with (Ben Zuta is the only friend a bull has, anyone?) and dancing around verses he thinks were added later to the Torah, like every time it says "to this very day".
He also wrote one of the first math books in Hebrew - Sefer HaMispar, he wrote a poem about chess, one about how whatever he'll work at he won't get enough money. And generally, he wrote poems. Quite a lot.
I suppose at this point I should mention something: Hebrew linguists were, at the middle ages, predominantly Sepharadi. I mean, sure, there could be a non-Jewish Hebrew linguist, but for some reason I don't hear much about those. And there probably were Ashkenazi linguists, but there weren't many of them. Rashi does deal with linguistics - but half the time he does, it's using the books of two famous Sepharadi linguists. The Sepharadim, living in Muslim lands as they were, simply had a better background with learning Hebrew, since they were surrounded by speakers of a closely related language - Arabic. And Ibn Ezra's deep understanding of Hebrew led to him loving linguistic riddles, which I can never figure out - and I was reading an eddition with footnotes! Though maybe I didn't make enough effort or something.
But no, the reason I wanted to talk about Ibn Ezra was the impossible standards for poetry, as set by Sepharadi poets. You see, Jews were always influenced by their surroundings, in multiple facets. and poetry is definitely one of them. So, the influence from Arab poets includes strict rules for rhythm and - and this is what I actually wanted to talk about - rhyming.
The rythm thing is bad enough. Only once in my life have I tried keeping up with that. It was very, very hard. It's probably because I'm not used to this, but no song I write can keep a consistent rhythm and meter, and that's without trying to apply the standard Sepharadic rules. So trying to have such a strict meter... didn't work well for me. I guess I'm the frenchman from
וּמִי הֵבִיא לְצָרְפַתִּי בְּבֵית שִׁיר,
וְעָבַר זָר מְקוֹם קֹדֶשׁ וְרָמָס;
וְלוּ שִׁיר יַעֲקֹב יִמְתַּק כְּמוֹ מָן,
אֲנִי שֶׁמֶשׁ, וְחַם שִׁמְשִׁי וְנָמָס.
which was actually written about Rabenu Tam, but I'm a distant relative of his so this might still be applicable. Besides, as far as you know my name is Ya'akov, just like Rabenu Tam! (Sorry for not providing a translation, the gist is "how dare a frenchman trample all over poetry?!")
But rhymes. Oh, the Ibn Ezraic rhyming standards.
According to Ibn Ezra, one must always rhyme with the entire syllable. So no, just the last sound isn't enough. In Ibn Ezra's book, rhyme and dime don't actually rhyme - though I don't think he'd care about English at all. For the Ibn Ezra, shor and ḥamor can't be rhymed with each other; shor can rhyme with Mishor, and ḥamor can rhyme with har hamor, but you can't rhyme any other pair of those with each other. And I can't stay up to this challenge. It's nearly always impossible for me to find proper words to rhyme even without the extra demand for the rhyme to be the entire syllable. With English I don't think I even bothered or ever will. You have too many weird syllables for me. But with Hebrew... I do try with Hebrew, really. But I can't keep this up. And the most frustrating thing? It doesn't appear other Ashkenazi writers had this problem.
Now we get to the interesting part. I have been trying lately a new possible format for my very-anticipated-and-definitely-not-only-I-want-it Jewsade fanfic: introduction, preface and Haskamot to books. I just really enjoy reading prefaces for books, and one of my recent favourite pieces of writing is the conclusion piece of the Vilna edition of the Babylonian Talmud. If you're interested - it can be found in most editions of the Talmud at the very end of Masechet Nidah. The piece describes the trouble they went through to publish this edition of the Talmud and it's very interesting. Another favourite piece of mine is the preface of the Levush, a slightly obscure Halachic book from the time of the Shulchan Aruch. If you've ever seen me talk about the race to Halacha - this is my source for that, because the poor author was upstaged about three to four times by other people doing exactly what he planned on doing. I highly recommend this piece as well, though I don't know how easy it is to find. And the Levush - Rabbi Mordechai Yeffe - is a nice Ashkenazi guy. So he must be more lenient with his rhymes, right?
Well, I guess I didn't establish that part. Yes, the preface to the Levush starts with a poem. It's fun. It's great. It's also up to the Ibn Ezraic standard, while my attempt to write an equivalent is... not.
Huh. This post is oddly rambly. Ah well, maybe someone will like it. Anyway, the preface portion that really takes the cake is actually one from a fairly recent obscure book - like, this one was written barely a century ago. I only found it because one of my favourite singers, Aharon Razel, made a song out of it, but the song doesn't really capture the hilarity of the piece. Do ask me if you want to hear more, this one's great.
Signing off with a "darn you, Ibn Ezra! Why must you set such high standards!"
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petalruesimblr · 9 months ago
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Hello everyone! This project was meant to be for my own personal use but I decided to share with the community. I'm not sure if anyone would find it useful but I mainly created this as a stepping stone to quickly advance in either the Inventor, Painter or Sculptor careers as well as complete the Descendant of da Vinci lifetime wish.
This is for Sims who wants to pursue their passion for the arts (sculpting, inventing and painting) but does not have enough funds to kickstart all three at the same time.
With this part-time, they get shorter working hours and a weekly stipend of at least §360‬/week, which can help with the bills at the start and improve the quality of their work as they increase their skills to sell their creations at a higher price.
If you are interested, click on ’Keep Reading’ below for more information and pictures of the YCA Program Educator Part-Time Career.
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YCA Program Educator (Young Creative Artisans Program)
Download Link: Sim File Share |
🔔Updated on 05/03/2024 - added code to remove ’Retire’ option
Job Offer:
Join the Young Creative Artisans Program (YCA Program) and inspire the next generation of artistic minds! Whether you're an expert painter, a skilled sculptor, an inventive genius or just passionate about the arts, we welcome all applicants to be a part of our dynamic team. From fresh graduates to retired Sims, everyone has something valuable to contribute. Apply now and let your passion for creativity shine bright in the halls of our afterschool club!
Career Details:
Career Type: Part-Time Available for: Young Adults, Adults and Elders Available Languages: English Levels: 3 Rabbit Hole: School Work Days: M, T, W, F Work Hours: 1 - 4 PM Does it have Carpool? Yes Does it have Uniforms? Yes (same uniforms used for the Political career; Business casual, refer to pictures above) Version: 1.42 Packs Needed: The Sims 3, Ambitions (Sculpting and Inventing Skill) File Type: Package
Career Features:
The YCA Program was initially planned as a workshop hosted by the school and scheduled for weekends but it was changed to resemble more of an afterschool club. The active Sim will teach students and this change allows you to earn more during weekdays compared to the previous setup.
You don't need the Generations expansion pack; I have only set the time to coincide with the Afterschool Club, which usually starts at 2-4 PM but the Ambitions expansion pack is required for this to work.
I have created only three levels: Lecturer, Instructor and Coordinator, and also nine custom tones that focus on increasing all three skills in each level. All descriptions for the levels, tones and metrics as well as skills required, salary, uniforms and other details are provided on the pictures above.
Please note that the Gives Lecture tone in this career is different from the Education career and I already tried using the same tone EA used but I never received any bonus of §200/lecture when I tested it so it may not work for part-times.
📣This career was made with patch 1.42 and it should work for higher patches as long as you have the latest version of NRAAS Careers Mod. Please be advised that you will need NRAAS Careers Mod for this career to show up in the game, click here.
I’m not fluent in any other languages to translate so if anyone is interested in translating this career, please don’t hesitate to send me a message here or comment on this post and will let you know the details.
I have tested this career in my game, so far it is working and all scripts are showing up. All feedback is very welcome to help me learn and improve my skills so please let me know if you experience any problems on your end and I’ll do my best to sort it as soon as possible.
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gorgeouslypink · 2 years ago
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hii pink. i'm a little scared to post this publicly but honestly what's the worst that could happen LMAO.
anyways,, i'm in a little bit of a rough spot w the void. i've reached the point where i can confidently say that i've had enough epiphanies to know that i'm doing everything absolutely right— i know that i'm the operant power and that there's nothing beyond or above me. every morning before my 'attempts' i pep talk myself/subconscious and basically remind myself that i have no limits and there's nothing i can't achieve and all i need to do is decide. i go in so confident and completely convinced that this is 'the one',, i affirm to keep my mind focused and place my awareness on being one w myself. i see the void as a state like any other. everything about my physical body and realm is a product of my assumptions so i know i don't have to jump through hoops to separate myself from my own creations. i could go a little more into this but honestly my mindset is perfect as far as i'm concerned.
i've been like this for a few days now ?? i'm not sure how many exactly but i know it's been long enough to completely purge the old story as i never walk away from an attempt discouraged and immediately revise it. i do have a small amount of opposing thoughts from time to time but they're really weak and i shut down them down immediately with a "these thoughts are not mine and have nothing to do with me".
i'm sorry this is a lot but i just wanted to give insight on my situation before i ask why i haven't 100% tapped in yet. i completely understand if you don't have any advice for me,, i'll keep persisting no matter what.
also to anyone else who might see this; it might not mean much but please don't be discouraged by my situation !!! you and i are totally different beings so my lack of complete success has absolutely nothing to do with you,, keep pushing and don't mind me :)
Hi love! I honestly stay away from LOA asks because I didn't use LOA during my own void journey and I have not researched it enough to be at a degree of giving others advice on it, as well as my opinion that the law is very reliant of interpretation, meaning it might be understood and utilized by everyone in a different way. However, I just thought that your ask was so sweet so I'll try my best to answer. I'll start off with this quote:
"If, having read this book, having a thorough knowledge of the application and working of the law of assumption, you faithfully apply it in an effort to attain some intense desire and fail, what is the reason? If, to the question "Did you persist enough?", you can answer "Yes" – and still the attainment of your desire was not realized, what is the reason for failure?
The answer to this is the most important factor in the successful use of the law of assumption.
The time it takes your assumption to become fact, your desire to be fulfilled, is directly proportionate to the naturalness of your feeling of already being what you want to be – of already having what you desire."
-Neville Goddard, The Power of Awareness
During my own void journey, I struggled with the law. There are a few things that I manifested but others, I struggled with, including the void and I ended up entering without LOA. However, now as I've helped others on their void journeys, and have read more posts from all the amazing bloggers here as well Neville's work itself, I've realized that the thing that I was missing from my manifestation equation was exactly this: feeling my desire to be natural.
And how do you feel your desire to be natural?
"The essential feeling of naturalness can be achieved by persistently filling your consciousness with imagination – imagining yourself being what you want to be or having what you desire."
-Neville Goddard, The Power of Awareness
So the key things to take away so far is that for our desire to come into fruition, we ourselves must rest easy in the feeling of naturalness (It needs to seem natural to you). How do you do this? Be persistently imagining yourself with your desire, imagine and feel it until it feels natural to you.
This is kind of like when you keep practicing something, like a presentation over and over, pretending like you're acctually presenting. At first, you kind of forget words here and there and it just feels unnatural but as you keep practicing, doesn't it feel way more natural and eventually it is just natural and you know youre going to wing it? Same thing applies to the void. You need to keep imagining that you've already entered, with whatever scenario that may be, over and over so that entering the void and succeeding feels natural to you.
This is why I personally vouch for SATS. In SATS, you turn to your imagination and feel yourself in the feeling of the wish fufilled and keep repeating until you fall asleep, so that you fall asleep in the state of the wish fufilled, allowing for you to attain a feeling of naturalness that will guarantee your desire.
You have to understand that the basis of the law is that an assumption, though false, if persisted in, will harden into fact. Anything you can assume and create with your imagination can come true, but the way to bring your desire into fruition is by attaining the feeling of naturalness and the method I personally interpret as the best way to do do is SATS, so I recommend looking into this and this post.
I hope this helps! 💗
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nessataleweaver · 26 days ago
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FIC: 12 days of HellCheer: Day One
So busy trying to get my new fanfic project up on AO3, I forgot to put it up on tumblr!
Welcome to my Christmas project; I'm finally pulling the trigger and writing some HellCheer.
Much like my last Christmas project, this will be written by the seat of my pants and very probably run late.  Here's hoping I can finish it by the time ST5 premieres; the last project took  a year to finish, and it was only five parts!
Technical note:  'the Twelve days of Christmas' is actually meant to begin on December 25; the last day of Christmas is January 6, which is why you used to occasionally hear about 'Twelfth Night' parties to finish off the holiday season.  January 6 is also known as 'Ephiphany', and is supposed to be when the Three Magi arrived with the first Christmas presents for baby Jesus. Given that none of the presents were able to be used by the baby in question for twenty-odd years (and in the case of the myrhh, until he died) I personally think they maybe should have gone with baby LEGO.  Or a nice mobile made out of stars and heavenly clouds.  But that's just me. 
Warning; these will all be AU's, mostly inspired by anything I've recently finished watching or reading.  If anyone has any suggestions/requests, leave them in the comments!
You can read it on AO3 here
DAY ONE: ...And a bird-headed guy in a VRMMO
INSPIRATION: the anime Shangri-La Frontier. You can watch it on crunchyroll.  Don't skip through the intro because all their opening songs are absolute bangers.  If you have seen it, you'll know who I'm basing Chrissy on in particular.
It is the present day.
All currently available video games are now played on Virtual Reality Headsets, giving players an unparalleled sensory experience.  By far the most popular game in the world is 'Shangri-La Frontier', known far and wide as a 'god-tier game', with 30 million players world-wide.Eddie Munson, a devoted player of 'trash-pile' games, has now begun playing SLF. What adventures await him there?
The town square of Fourfolkshire was bustling as always, as it was also the main thoroughfare for the market district. 
In one corner, however, there was a peculiar hush. 
A distinct gap in the crowd spread around a tall metallic figure, a literal knight in shining armour, the sunlight glinting off the impeccably polished magi-steel.
<i>"That's Psyger-0!"
"The Attack Master? Isn't he part of the MindScape Clan?  The first ones to take down the Level Twenty Boss?"
"Yeah. Wonder what he's doing here?"</i>
Inside the armour, a five foot three teenage girl cast her gaze around nervously, hidden by her impressive helmet.  Her Clan Headquarters was in Eighthold; normally Chrissy, aka Psyger-0, wouldn't be caught dead in such a low game level.  But her Clan was about to start a major campaign in the Castle of Lost Souls on level Twelve, and Fourfolkshire had items to turn undead considerably cheaper than anywhere else in SLF.  She'd lost the dice roll to make the trek down to pick up the order.
It was just her luck to have to come down today; Jason had mentioned at lunch that he, Andy and Chance were going grinding.
Chrissy wasn't sure she'd ever forgive her stupid little brother for mentioning to Jason that she played SLF after her boyfriend received a VR headset for a birthday present. Jason had immediately demanded she join a party with him, so 'he could protect her' (i.e. making sure he was completely informed about every single aspect of her life). Matty had lessened his chances of being maimed beyond repair by immediately pointing out that Chrissy wouldn't be able to level-up or do anything fun in the game that way, which was the entire point.  Chrissy had carefully hidden her pleasure in informing Jason she'd been part of a Clan for over a year, and they didn't take applicants.  When Jason had wanted her to force them to make an exception for him, she'd gotten a genuine thrill out of telling him the Clan Leader, who she had no influence with, didn't even open the door for players under level 20, and a very low threshold for newbies harassing her. She'd reported ten such players to the moderators this year alone.
All of which was true, except for the lack of influence part. As a current top-500 player and the War Leader of MindScape, she had a great deal of influence in the Clan.
SLF, and specifically Psyger-0, was her release and escape from the pressure cooker of her real life. No one cast judgement on her weight, her appearance, or whether she was doing something her mother or boyfriend considered appropriate. She said what she wanted, did what she wanted, and no one ever made crude sexual comments about her.  If that ever happened, she didn't have to wait for her boyfriend to censure them (even though he never did, just laughed and grabbed her possessively to better show off his prize) she could just draw her broadsword and cut them in half.
In her head, Chrissy knew the chances of running into Jason here were almost literally one in a million.  Right from the start, Chrissy had invoked every privacy setting offered on the VR headset and in SLF to protect her identity, including an anonymous email address. The day after Matty spilled the beans, she'd blocked contact from anyone who wasn't already on her friends list. And Andy had been complaining at lunch that he, Jason and Chance (because God forbid Jason do something without an in-built audience to praise him) were still stuck in Diremarsh Waste on level two.  Even if Jason walked right past her, he was too hidebound to connect his tiny, pretty, cheerleader trophy-girlfriend to a six and a half foot tall walking suit of armour, famed for their aggressive style of play that laid waste to every opponent in their path and had once solo-killed every floor boss in the first ten levels in a single day on a bet.
But her instinct, her fears of losing the only place she wasn't constantly under scrutiny and being questioned and judged, was another story.
Then a head of sky-blue feathers crossed her eyeline, and her nerves calmed even as her heart-rate increased.
The player raising their hand in a friendly wave was clearly a male build; the fact he wore nothing but a bird-head luchador mask, loose shorts in a matching blue, and a set of intimidating scars over his torso and legs made that clear.  He was muscled like a gymnast, due to his hit and run style of play, and Chrissy had wondered more than once just how much Sunraku's character build matched his real life body.
Because Chrissy was one of the very few people in SLF who knew who the man under the bird mask was.
Eddie Munson.  Founder of Hawkins High's VR gaming club, and still the President.
When Chrissy had bought her first VR headset from Family DVD and Games, the clerks Robin and Steve had been having a lively debate about Eddie, and just how many games he'd played, mastered, and returned for re-sale.  Apparently Eddie found most elite games boring, and specialised in 'trash-piles', games that were issued with bugs or badly-thought out plotting or world building that only an experienced gamer could master or even complete.  During that conversation (Chrissy had waited a good five minutes for them to notice her standing there) Robin had mentioned that Eddie always used the same character name, and what it was.
Chrissy had tried out a half-dozen games before SLF.  In every one she'd immediately searched for 'Sunraku'.
From her very first day of high school, Chrissy had been utterly fascinated by Eddie Munson.  Not because he was very good-looking once you looked past the chronically uncombed hair, gaming / heavy metal themed Tshirts and mocking expression - even though he was.  But because Eddie Munson was thoroughly, unapologetically himself.  He went his own way, said what he thought and gave absolutely no fucks what anyone outside his small circle of friends thought about him. He didn't let toxic masculinity ideals stop him from being unfailingly kind to his friends and 'sheepies', or anyone else who needed some help. He treated everyone on their own merits, and how they treated him. He didn't care about reputation or community status. Anyone who tried to judge him was flipped off with a wide grin.
Chrissy craved Eddie Munson's sense of self and way of life like a flower craved the sun and rain, though the closest she could get was to bask in his presence.  But Gossip Girl (original or reboot) had nothing on a small town's grapevine; the only place safe for Chrissy to spend time with Eddie was online.  Thus her hunting Sunraku through a daisy-chain of games.
She'd spent a year in SLF, growing her character and building her rep, before Eddie finally showed up. She'd agonized over how to introduce herself in-game, then found out he was being hunted. He'd somehow stumbled into an incredibly rare quest, and a player too inexperienced to know better had put up a screen-shot of him in the forums. Chrissy had figured out his route, and showed up just in time to prevent him getting player-killed.
Sunraku and Psyger-0 had been on each other's friends list ever since.
"Hey, Zero-Rei!  What brings you down to the single-digits?" Sunraku asked.
"Picking up equipment for a raid.  What about you?"
"Something similar," Sunraku looked around in a way that was probably meant to be casual, but screamed 'I'm up to something.'  Somehow, the full-head mask wore the exact same expression as Eddie did in the real world when he was trying to talk Ms O'Donnell into letting him do a paper on comparing the Iron Maiden and Coleridge versions of 'The Rime of the Ancient Mariner'.
"Uh huh," Chrissy let scepticism enter her voice.  She could actually express a dissenting opinion without getting criticised in SLF.
Sunraku's eyes widened, as he gave an exaggerated shrug, his arms bent to show his empty palms at shoulder level. "Whaaatt?"
Chrissy just tilted her head at him.  She'd become very good at emoting without words in SLF.
Sunraku sighed. "I'm powerless against your fiendish interrogation techniques.  Yeah, a couple of friends I've played with in other games are on SLF, and we're teaming up for a mission.  Small team only, so I can't give you details until after the fact."
"When are you making your move?"
"Sorry," Sunraku mimed zipping his beak. "Timing's a big part of it, so no can do.  I should be done by next weekend, so if I don't have to re-grind levels we can do a side quest together? Maybe something in the Garden of Singing Flowers?" 
"I could use some crystallized pollen." Chrissy conceded. "DM me once you're done?  This mission must be something news-worthy if you're this secretive.  I'll keep quiet on any info worth trading."
Sunraku gave a cheerful wave as he scurried off.
Chrissy sighed.  How could five minutes with Eddie online put her in a better mood than an hour with anyone else in her offline life?
< NOW OFFLINE >
canon images from Shangri-La Frontier:
Psyger-0
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Sunraku
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tcwmatchmakingau · 2 years ago
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Third Time’s the Charm
Captain Rex x Gen!Reader One-Shot
Summary: The war is over, and the Republic has won. Rex signed up for a matchmaking service and you’re meeting for a third date. Basically just Rex fluff and him being nervous and awkward lol.
Rating/Warnings: SFW with kissing, making out, slight suggestiveness.
Word count: 1800-2000ish
Author’s Note: This is a two in one, baby! Not only is it a submission the the Clone Matchmaking AU @tcwmatchmakingau (pls read the other fics that have been submitted!) but also a prompt from @freesia-writes ! The prompt: “kiss me again, but- mphh" from the kissing prompts list. Idk how I feel about this one but I gotta get it out of my drafts.
Please enjoy and reblogs/comments are always appreciated. I just want to kiss Rex, okay? 💕
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Rex was pacing, his nerves almost completely shot. He checked the time every few seconds, subtly breathing into his palm to make sure his breath didn’t stink. He smoothed out his civvies, hoping they weren’t too wrinkly.
Shockingly to Rex, you had agreed to meet for a third date.
He was excited, yes. But also incredibly nervous.
Rex liked you.
A lot.
Rex never thought he’d get this far.
He didn’t know what to expect when he reluctantly accepted the first date match from Right to Love Matchmaking Service.
Rex had heard about it from some of his brothers but wasn’t sure it was for him.
Who would want a washed-up soldier? He also knew nothing about dating. Sure, he’s had a few quick flings and stolen kisses in the back of 79s when he was a cadet. But now, the thought of putting himself out there, looking for something serious while having strangers match him with another stranger… sounded like a recipe for disaster.
On the other hand, now that the war was over, companionship did sound nice. And a few of his brothers have had success with the service…
He continuously tossed around the idea, a few times half-filling out the Holonet application before deleting it, the fear of the unknown getting the best of him.
Rex even walked by the building once, Right to Love flashing in neon lights, almost stepping inside before his nerves sent him in the other direction.
It wasn’t until a few weeks ago, when Fives and Echo invited him to a “boy's night out” for drinks, that he was convinced.
Or more like the alcohol did the convincing for him.
One drink turned into two, then three, and somehow the conversation switched to the matchmaking service.
Both Fives and Echo had girlfriends now, having met through Right to Love.
Rex has met them a few times, and they did seem like good partners, and Fives and Echo were happier than he’d ever seen them.
He was proud of them for moving on from the war and finding happiness. Rex couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy sometimes, wondering if he’ll ever get to experience that, too.
Rex mentioned how he’s been thinking about signing up for Right to Love, and that’s how they persuaded him to fill out the digital application right there with them at the bar.
“Aw c’mon Rex!” Fives clapped Rex’s shoulder. “You should try it out. Anyone is lucky to have you!”
Fives took a large swig of beer, slammed it down, and pulled out his datapad.
“The application is easy. I don’t know how they do it, but they work some kind of magic. My girl is perfect, the woman of my dreams. I don’t think I would have ever found someone like her without them!” Fives shoved his datapad over to Rex, wiggling his eyebrows. “You don’t even have to go in person. Let us help you, vod!”
A few more sips of liquid courage later, Rex was pressing submit on his application while Fives and Echo cheered him on.
The rowdy night continued, and Rex quickly forgot all about it.
Rex didn’t remember he followed through until the next morning when a notification chimed on his terminal.
He woke from his deep sleep, still recovering from the night before, reading the message with blurry eyes and a headache.
Dear Rex,
Thank you for choosing Right to Love Matchmaking Service, where everyone deserves the right to companionship!
We have received your application and are processing your submission.
A matchmaking representative will be reaching out to you shortly. Have a wonderful day!
Rex’s brain almost short-circuited, the hazy memory of Fives and Echo helping him fill out the form coming back to him.
Those kriffing di’kuts!
Rex panicked momentarily, not sure if he was ready for this. But he thought of how happy his brothers were, and maybe it was finally time for him to step out of his comfort zone.
Rex commanded battalions alongside Jedi in life-or-death situations, and yet here he was, afraid to go on one singular date.
To Rex’s surprise, the whole process was easier than expected. The representative that reached out to him was nice, eased some of his worries, and answered all the questions he had. At the end of the conversation, the representative said they already had a match for him.
You.
To his even greater surprise, your first date went fine.
Fantastic, even.
Rex was an anxious mess leading up to meeting you in person, but you were kind, patient, compassionate, everything he would want in a partner.
It was almost like this matchmaking service did its job.
The next morning after your first date, you comm’d him asking to meet again, saying you had a good time.
Rex responded immediately with a resounding yes, hoping he wasn’t coming off as too desperate.
Your second date was even better than the first, learning more about one another, and you talked for hours.
You both hadn’t realized how late it had gotten and completely lost track of time. The restaurant you met at for lunch was now finishing up the dinner rush, you two the last ones in the eatery.
Rex walked you back to your apartment, and you hugged him as you said good night.
Maker, he couldn’t stop thinking about the hug. How warm and soft you felt against him. How he could smell the faint floral aroma of your shampoo. How your eyes shined as you whispered good night. He couldn’t stop thinking about you, Rex was completely smitten.
He was feeling the pressure now, waiting for you to meet him in front of the Coruscant Botanical Gardens where you planned to meet for your date.
Rex was low-key fretting about what came next. Another hug? Maybe holding your hand? A kiss?
Rex swallowed thickly.
He wanted to take things slow and didn’t want you to feel pressured into anything.
If a quick hug from you made him feel this good, he couldn’t even imagine what a kiss would be like.
He could feel his palms begin to sweat. Before he could spiral anymore, he heard his name.
You were walking toward him, a large smile on your face.
“Hey, Rex!” You waved, stepping up to him. You stopped, hesitating for a moment. Little did Rex know, you were having the same thoughts. Maker, he’s so handsome, I want to kiss him! I hope he wasn’t weirded out by the hug from a few nights ago…but he agreed to meet me again so I guess I didn’t scare him off…
“I’ve lived on Coruscant my whole life, and never been to the gardens. Funny how that happens sometimes.” You laughed.
Rex nodded stiffly.
“I’ve never been here, either. But I’m glad we can experience it for the first time together.”
You blushed at his words, Rex’s ears feeling hot at his admission.
You smiled again. “Me too, Rex. Shall we?”
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The gardens were huge and seemingly endless, growing flora from hundreds of planets. Rex was able to point out some, recognizing them from the war. He was well-traveled because of it.
You enjoyed hearing him speak of his past, his brothers, and the sometimes downright insane feats he was involved with during the war.
Your conversation was always easy, like you’ve known one another for years. You couldn’t believe how perfect he was and how comfortable you felt around him.
Was it too good to be true, though?
You wandered for a while, keeping up conversation. You eventually sat on a bench in a massive greenhouse, admiring the lush greenery around you.
You were silent for a few moments, Rex wondering if this was his chance.
He wanted to kiss you. He was going to ask you. He was a soldier, no, a Captain, dammit! He should have the courage to do this!
Rex took in a breath, knowing he had to get over his anxiety and just take the leap. It was now or never.
You heard Rex’s inhale and you felt worry stir in your gut. Here we go, he’s going to tell me he doesn’t want to meet again. The classic “it has been really fun but…”
“I’ve…enjoyed our dates.” Rex turned to you. “And I’ve enjoyed getting to know you. So, thank you.”
You raised your eyebrows, meeting his gaze, surprised at his comment.
“Rex, you don’t have to thank me. I’ve been enjoying them too. I like you a lot.” You fidgeted a little, blushing. Maybe I didn’t screw things up!
You took your own breath, continuing.
“I didn’t know what to expect when I signed up for the dating service…I went on some bad dates a while back and was kind of fed up with it all, you know? But I’m glad I took the chance on you.”
Rex felt some confidence rush through his veins. “Really?” He asked.
“You’re easy to talk to, kind, a good listener. Not to mention a complete gentlemen. It’s hard to find that.” Your cheeks were hot at your own words, suddenly too embarrassed to look him in the eye.
“I like you a lot, too.” Rex’s voice was low, and you felt something brush against your hand on the bench, looking down, and saw Rex’s hand barely touching yours.
You moved your hand closer, and Rex took your hand in his. You thought your heart might leap straight out of your chest. His hand was calloused, yet warm. Comforting.
“You’re brilliant, remarkable. Not to mention the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. I…I’m so happy I met you.”
“Oh, Rex…you mean that?” You’ve never had a man say those words to you with such sincerity.
“More than anything in my life. Can…can I ask you something?” Rex was almost whispering. You nodded, eyes wide, wondering what he wanted to say next.
“Can I kiss you?” Rex was gazing right at you, his heart pounding in his ears.
Warmth blossomed in your chest, entwining your fingers with his. You couldn’t keep the grin from spreading on your face, and Rex saw how your features lit up like the Tattooine suns.
“Yes…Rex. I thought you’d never ask.”
Rex could see the colors of the bright flowers that surrounded you in your eyes as he leaned toward you.
Rex stopped centimeters from your lips, bringing his free hand to tenderly cup the side of your face. Your breath hitched at the gentle gesture, your eyes fluttering closed in bliss as he shyly brushed his lips against yours.
For Rex, the world melted away. Did he die and go to heaven? Because that’s how he felt when your hand moved to his shoulder, your unbelievably soft lips pressing back into his in a chaste kiss.
All of his anxieties dissipated, forgetting why was so nervous about this date in the first place, all he could think about was you and how lucky he was in this moment.
You pulled away after what could have been hours, your eyes hooded, looking up at him, smiling, realizing you were still holding hands.
“Rex…” The way his name fell from your lips, husky and almost sensual, ignited a fire in him. He wanted to hear it again and again.
Rex released his hand from yours, bringing it to your other cheek, cradling your head with both his hands now with such reverence you thought you might faint.
“Was…was that ok?” He murmured, wanting more, but didn’t want to push your boundaries in any way.
“Yes…kiss me again, Rex. Pleas-mph!” Rex quickly slid his mouth against yours, still cradling your head as your arms wrapped around him, your words cut short by his lips.
The kiss was deep, passionate, just like him. You sighed against his mouth, Rex using the opportunity to sweetly lick your bottom lip, politely asking for entrance.
You eagerly obliged, excited by his newfound confidence. His tongue entered your mouth, eliciting another satisfied sigh from you and a groan from Rex. Your body to trembled against his in fervor, feeling his muscles flex under your hands.
Your lungs began to burn, needing oxygen but not wanting this kiss to end.
Your mouths moved as one, gripping one another like you were the last two people in the Galaxy.
You let out a small whine as Rex pulled away, both your lips swollen from the intensity, your faces flushed and your bodies on fire.
“Wow…” was all you could mutter, as Rex’s hands fell from your flushed face. “That was…”
“Incredible?” He mumbled. You nodded in agreement, leaning into him. Rex wrapped his arm around you, still seated on the bench.
“I’ve been wanting to do this since we first met,” Rex admitted, his thumb slowly caressing your arm.
You were quickly turning into mush seeing this new, romantic side of Rex emerge.
“Me too.” You couldn’t help but giggle, giddy at what had just taken place.
Rex brought you into him, embracing you in a hug, silently thanking his brothers for making him take the plunge and sign up for this dating service.
“I think we’ve seen enough plants for one day. Want to come back to my place?” You asked, nuzzling against his chest. “We could make dinner and watch a Holomovie?”
“I’d love to,” Rex answered as you looked up at him. “I’d really love to.” Rex hasn’t been sure about much since the war ended, trying to find purpose and meaning in a new Galaxy.
He was sure about one thing now, and it was you.
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Taglist: @pb-jellybeans @dukeoftheblackstar @king-chaos-world @523rdrebel @wanderer-six @the-cantina
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leumasme · 1 year ago
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You can now get an Ad-Free, Tumblr-Live-Free version of the Tumblr Android app
I've been writing some Patches for the Tumblr app in the ReVanced framework, and they just got released in the ReVanced patches Pack, so you can install them too! No computer is needed, and everything is open source, meaning anyone can look at the code and verify that it's not malicious.
Patches
Disable Dashboard Ads (Currently not perfect - doesn't block blazed and doesn't block Tumblr's own "Sponsored" posts that aren't real ads, like the ones that are just a cat sitting in front of a Tumblr logo)
Disable Tumblr Live (Fully and forever!)
Disable "Enable notifications when this person posts" popup
Disable "You can send gifts to people" bubble
Disable the update checker (Tumblr annoys you to update if you're on an old version, who knew?)
Maybe more to come. Please suggest new ones!
Installation
I'm not good at writing beginner-friendly guides, so this one might be hard to understand if you're not a somewhat experienced user - there's already a bunch of guides for ReVanced, and they have a support discord where you can ask for help. I encourage anyone to write a better guide for this.
First we need to download and install the ReVanced Manager. You can get it here: https://revanced.app/ Just download and install the APK.
Just like with any android app download that doesn't use the Google play store (or similar stores), you'll get some warnings that the file could be dangerous (since it's an app installer package), and you'll likely have to give your browser or File explorer permissions to install apps.
Next, we'll need a Tumblr APK to patch it. We usually can't use your already installed Tumblr since it's a Split-APK, and ReVanced doesn't really support those. Get one from APKMirror (preferred) or alternatively from APKPure (often doesn't have all app versions). Make sure you're selecting the download to a normal APK, not a Split-APK/XAPK. Also probably don't download a version that has alpha or beta in the name.
If you downloaded the Tumblr apk, don't install it. Open the ReVanced Manager we installed earlier, click Patcher->Select an Application->Storage (bottom right)->Pick the Tumblr APK you just downloaded.
Now you can de-select patches if you want, but the default is fine, it includes all patches made for Tumblr. Then click Patch in the bottom right and wait for it to finish. Before you install the patched Tumblr, you'll have to uninstall the old Tumblr since they have the same package name but our patched one isn't signed by the Google Play Store. So uninstall the Tumblr app now (and probably save/reblog this post if you're on your phone right now so you don't lose it), then switch back to the Manager and click Install to install the patched app.
Yay, now you have patched Tumblr. Everything should work as normal otherwise. If you're reading this in the (far) future and Tumblr ever updated the app and broke the patches and no one updated them to work with newer versions, you can use an old Tumblr APK and it should keep working forever. Right now, I am using v31.5.0.110 and everything is working fine.
Tell me (asks/dms/rbs) if anything is broken or you have more ideas for patches I could add. I have like 10 followers so no one is gonna see this without reblogs. Oki bye!
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calciumdeficientt · 5 months ago
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BUCKY HCS
BUCKY OH MY GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHD. IF BUCKY HAS NO FANS IM DEAD I LOVE THAT WHITE BOY. I cried while writing these. Idk what that says about me but it definitely says something.
BUCKY PASTEUR HCS
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Starting off on a very strong foot, I’m gonna explain the ‘Bucky incident’ that I mentioned in my Thad hcs post (go read that btw). So basically the nerds were playing Star Wars on the steps outside the library, with those very sturdy, screen accurate lightsabers that all the cosplayers have, and poor Bucky, bless his little heart, got far too invested in the game, lunged forwards with his lightsaber, slipped on a piece of wet moss on the steps and fell. His lightsaber broke his fall and he sort of half-impaled himself on the tip of it. He didn’t break any skin or anything, but the sturdy PVC plastic broke two of his ribs and ruptured his appendix. Poor kid.
Head builder and painter of the G&G mini figures, in his free time you can usually find him underneath Dragon’s Wing in their little lair, with one of those magnifying headset things on, painting away. He has a keen eye for detail, and it really shows. He takes great care in studying his friends character sheets and making sure the paining is reflective of their personalities, even down to the bases. He’s got great technique, from dry-brushing for shading, to colour theory and palette matching, down to hand sculpting pieces when official G&G merchandise doesn’t suffice. Sometimes he goes upstairs to get guidance from Zack but nine times out of ten its his own handiwork.
Very happy go lucky despite being beaten within an inch of his life every day. That insane amount of bullying is enough to make anyone a nihilist, but I think Bucky always finds a way to put a positive spin on everything and. That is just… so commendable. He’s a stronger man than I I’ll tell you that. He’s such a sweet kid, how could you want to pick on him when Earnest is RIGHT THERE.
Speaking of Earnest, he really really hated the whole concept of the Paparazzi mission, especially publicly showing those indecent images of Mandy. He couldn’t even fathom the idea of showing the small ones off as blackmail. He hates the jocks just as much as the next nerd, and the way Mandy treats Beatrice isn’t exactly tasteful, but he’s emotionally mature enough to know that not only was plastering those posters all over town fucking creepy, it was also a CRIME.
Does super well in Hattrick’s math class but absolutely DESPISES his way of teaching it. Hattrick has a very black and white view of maths. It’s either right or wrong, and the only way to solve problems is it do it is his way, any other solution is blatantly wrong. Bucky thinks it’s such a boring and narrow way to look at a subject that’s just bursting with possibilities. In his free time he researches pure mathematics, he thinks its such a wonderful show of the fact that maths isn’t just about practical application, but the beauty of figuring out the logical consequences of basic mathematic principles when applied to abstract objects. He finds it so wonderfully interesting.
He loves his granny so much dude (I may or may not be sobbing over this right now he’s such a fucking cutie patootie.) he goes over to her house on the weekends and has tea. She doesn’t understand half of what her grandson says but she’s happy to know that he’s growing up into a nice polite young man, and is doing well at school. He’s also kind enough to help her around the house with all the chores she has trouble doing during the week. Taking her trash out, cleaning her kitchen surfaces and vacuuming up. He’s her helpful little chipmunk, even if he’s nowhere near as chubby as he used to be when he was a baby.
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laikaflash · 1 month ago
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Newish lioden player. What's up w the rumble marking drama?
I've been playing since 2018, so I'll set the scene. Strap in.
Before we had the Rumble markings, there were some new features added to the May event in 2019. This was a huge month for updates, the relevant ones here being a "Reputation Shop" for both of the storyline NPCs where you can get Brawl and Inverted Brawl marking applicators. These were the first app markings made for this event, and you can see in the responses to this announcement post that they got a fairly warm reception at the time.
Note that Brawl has a very busy and squiggly look to it. Put a pin in that. (I swear I've seen similar textures on foam gym mats. I'm not sure if that's what they were going for, though.)
Then came May 2020. Among other things, the Rumble marking applicator was introduced to the game. It has a similar look to Brawl, but with a somewhat jagged look. A few days in, there's a rash of threads in the forums about Rumble, the most serious thing mentioned in them by far was that the marking was a potential seizure risk. Some players brought it up in the announcement thread a few days into the event.
How is that possible, you may ask. Well, let me make this clear: I am not a neurologist and I've never had a seizure in my life. I'm not the person to ask about photosensitive epilepsy (or any other type); I'm just describing things as best as I understand them. From what I can find, there is ongoing research into why high contrasting patterns in still images may trigger seizures in some people with PSE. (Medical News Today has more technical info here.)
In any case, the seizure concerns got the admins' attention. On May 4 that year, the Rumble marking was hidden from view and the applicator removed from the shop. Forum threads about the marking were locked and players advised to refrain from making any more about it. (Source) The next day, the admins made a statement:
Today, we sought legal clarification over the marking. We have been advised that we are compliant and meet all legal requirements and there is no reason that the marking should be removed from the game or that any additional warning notice needs to be given out. Additionally, the marking itself was not flagged as a typical risk. [...] We must ask that if you have noticed any adverse effects while accessing Lioden at any point, to discontinue use of the site immediately and seek medical help from a physician.
(Bolding theirs! Excerpts from Rumble Marking Clarification)
With that, Rumble was reinstated with some faded effects added presumably to make it less harsh on a contrasting base. Lioden operates in the UK, so I think these are the guidelines they're trying to adhere to. However, those are mostly about video content and the May event doesn't have any animations as of yet. (And for the ones that do, you can toggle the animations off.)
But that wasn't enough for some people. Some of the players had already telephone-gamed the whole thing into "DANGEROUS MARKING AT ANY OPACITY" with the growing vibe of "If you have Rumble/Brawl lions, you're evil". Note the reminder of the section of the game's TOS against threatening, harassment; etc. in that same clarification post. This shit was nasty enough that I thought I could get dogpiled just for selling the applicators, so I buried them for a time. (You have no idea how relieved I was to find anyone this December with this marking app on their wishlist.)
You are reading this right: a year after Brawl was introduced, it got lumped in with Rumble. If memory serves, one of the game's artists was also scapegoated because of course that happened.
Finally, on May 8, the marking censor was added as part of a development update. (Announcement here.) This setting allows players to hide any marking they wish from their view without affecting gameplay for anyone else. That should do it, right?
Even then, the hostility didn't completely end there. Short of the entire art team leaving, I don't know what some of these people really wanted here. On a game that has around 2000 players online most of the day, I can't ascertain how many were adversely affected by the Rumble marking that week, but under the circumstances, I think the admins did the best they could. I wouldn't put this incident on the same level of Cyber Soldier Porygon. It was a shock at the time, but ye gods did some people take it too far.
And that's why I grit my teeth every time I see a "RUMBLE/BRAWL FREE DEN" message after having seen loads of garish customized den designs after all this time. Fortunately, you can toggle those off too.
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