#also not happy with the graphic but i really wanted to get this posted today so

[sflow-er]

"I think we who 'fit the norms' have a responsibility to understand those who live their lives differently. We need to know how to listen." Axel Åhman, Efter nio, 2020

One of the great things about discovering KAJ is that I have also fallen a tiny bit in love with Axel Åhman outside of the group. I mean, I haven't even had the chance to read his books yet, but the kinds of things I've seen him discuss in his writer and journalist role have already really endeared him to me.

It started with his documentary show Utanför boxen. Most specifically, episode 4, in which Axel talked to a nonbinary ace person, a sexologist, and two poly people (one of whom may have also been bi) about allonormativity, amatonormativity, and gender normativity. Even if those terms weren't used in the episode itself.

It's hard to even explain how happy it made me to see asexuality discussed in such an affirmative way on Finnish TV. Axel had even deduced on his own that the estimate of 1% of the world's population being ace was probably an understatement, which the sexologist and ace person confirmed for him. As someone who only discovered my aceness in my thirties, I really appreciated that being covered.

But perhaps even more than the ace side of things, I loved how Axel genuinely seemed to listen to his guests and wanted to learn from them.

"I'm starting to see how privileged I actually am as a straight man. Nobody questions me. Life is an open motorway before me. All I need to do is drive on; I won't be stopped at any red lights. Eri for example has to explain themself in several respects, basically every day. It's strong [of them] to be up to having that discussion every time."

This lesson on privilege clearly wasn't one Axel just learned for the show and forgot. He also repeated it in interviews conducted after his first book came out, such as the Efter nio clip linked at the top of this post and an interview with his alma mater's student paper.

Speaking of his first book, it's a short story collection with masculinity as the overarching theme. It's titled Klein; a dialectal variant of the word klen (meaning frail, weak, feeble or delicate), used to disparage men who don't conform to normative masculinity.

The interview in the student paper is by far not the only one where Axel has talked about how strict social norms weigh people down and how it should be okay for a man to be kle(i)n, but these snippets from said interview are still pretty illustrative.

In his stories, he examines behaviours connected to masculinity. Competition, rivalry and lifting oneself up by putting others down are some of the things Åhman highlights as problematic. [--] Åhman thinks there are definitely problematic sides to masculinity, and that a certain culture of machismo is still alive today.

"I think confidence has a lot to do with being a man. We are taught that we are allowed to take space, and nobody questions us when we do. We men are allowed to be more visible and audible." Åhman says he wasn't particularly good at playing instruments or singing when he first got on stage, but he still had the nerve to get up there and perform. He believes the bar is higher for girls to make it on to the stage than it is for boys. "It's stupid to raise a child into a specific gender role. I hope increased awareness can help solve that problem in the future."

When asked what he thinks of the phrase 'Boys will be boys', he says he finds it incredibly problematic. Boys are more seldom held accountable for their actions, and society makes excuses for them.

This thread of highlighting problematic aspects of masculinity doesn't end with Axel's book authorship, either. It even extends to the workplace comedy series Halln, which he wrote with Joel Rönn (and in which Jakob from KAJ starred alongside Joel).

The two guys vying for power at the company are both sexist in their own ways. Joel's character (Mikael) acts very overtly and anciently sexist, often treats graphic designer Emilia like his personal assistant, has even put up a "girl calendar" in the break room.

Next to Mikael, Jakob's character (Jona) seems like a very sweet and modern man, which he in many ways is! Yet he still doesn't listen to Emilia after asking her impressions on what could be improved at the company. He latches on to her mention of a ping pong table because he used to be a ping pong champion, but he completely disregards her wishes. When a romance develops between them, he decides that they will move together to his father's villa in Spain - and when she asks what she's supposed to do there, he says she can just chill by the pool until he comes home from work (!).

"Let me ask you this: where do you see yourself in five years?" "I don't know." "Exactly. You don't know. Do you know where I see you?" "Well?" "In Spain, with me."

There is simply no way Axel didn't have a hand in writing Jona like this. I can't wait to see what happens and whether the character experiences any growth if the show gets a second season.

And although I said at the start that this would be about Axel in other roles, I do have to end this appreciation post on a KAJ note. Namely, I watched an interview today that I hadn't seen before, where the host asked Axel, what message would KAJ stand for if they had to get political?

Axel answered that they already sort of did that with Gambämark. They started writing it in 2017, when a musical about a conservative village that walls itself off from the world felt very topical and political. They wanted to advocate for a more open [inclusive] society and "letting all the flowers bloom", so to speak.

To the question "are you feminists?", he replied, "Yes, I think so. We think so, even as we are three men and sometimes wonder if we would have got the same opportunities if we were three women."

[desertfangs]

Delicate Desires [AO3] Louis/Lestat - Explicit - 3,212 words

I know, I know, I don't really write Louis/Lestat these days but they were my first VC ship (and honestly one of my first fandom ships ever!) and I love them so much. So I hope I did them justice. (I promise I will get back to writing Devil's Minion soon, LOL!)

I really wanted to write something with them for Lestat's birthday and the Rue Royale Era is one of my favorites. I definitely think Louis left some spicy stuff out of the interview (or Daniel cut it out later, I don't know.) This is pretty mild for the explicit rating and it's canon compliant action but I feel like if there's any question, always go for the higher rating, you know?

This was also written for @vampirefest's Lestat Birthday Bingo - for the "Rue Royale Era" square.

Excerpt:

Louis’ door finally opened, startling him. Lestat adjusted himself on the chair, making sure he looked disinterested and bored. He glanced up only briefly when Louis came into the room. 

“Finally, he emerges,” Lestat said, keeping his tone droll. “What is it that you do in there?” 

Louis looked faintly abashed, turning his head. So delicious to watch him writhe under the most mundane questioning. “I was getting dressed.” 

“Certainly took you long enough.” 

Lestat looked him up and down with exaggerated purpose as if evaluating his efforts, but in truth, he had to admire how Louis looked. The black brocade vest hugged his narrow waist and cinched the billowing white shirt he wore beneath it. The silver buttons gleamed. His long black hair was neatly tied back with a ribbon, though a strand had already escaped and dropped delicately over his pale white face. His beauty always took Lestat’s breath away.

“I suppose your effort is passable.” 

Louis clenched his jaw tight in irritation. Lestat loved how easy it was to rile him up and get a reaction. 

Louis looked around the room, no doubt searching for signs of Claudia.

“She went out on her own. She can do it herself now.” He tried to mask his bitterness.

Louis sighed, his shoulders sinking. “I suppose it was bound to happen eventually.” That frustration, at least, was something they shared. 

Lestat stood. “Let us go out together instead.” 

Louis frowned. They did not hunt together. Louis did so alone, wandering around like a directionless vagrant until some unfortunate crossed his path. Every so often when she insisted, he would take Claudia with him, but mostly she went with Lestat—or now, by herself. Louis was a solo hunter, phantom death lurking alone in dark alleys.

“I prefer to go alone,” Louis said stiffly, tugging at the bottom of his vest. “Have a good evening.” 

Lestat moved in front of him, blocking the door and grinning wickedly. “I intend to.”

Read the Rest on AO3

[writingwisterias]

Okay so hear me out ( hello first, where are my manners )

but rly hear me out : Leon and the reader, the reader is pregnant, and the baby is born on September 30th. Like I can’t be the only one who thought about it ? Anyway, please don’t die I love your stories.

stay hydrated folks

Hello!

I actually love this, I could feel the angst and fluff. I will try not to die 🫡 I hope you enjoy and have a good day! And everyone that sees this is your reminder to drink water or anything please (Not proof Read I'm sorry it posted before I got the chance!)

I'm so sorry for how late this is please forgive me! I wanted to flesh it out a bit

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Pregnancy, Child birth (Not graphic), PTSD, Establsihed Relationship

ID!Leon Kennedy x AFAB!Reader

The red circle on the calendar was just a constant reminder to him. Not only because of the impending arrival of his child. But also of that one fateful night -- the day that changed his life. He would spend the entire year trying to forget about it and think of anything other than this. It was the devil's work he swore in that doctor's office when the date was announced. He watched you freeze, a fake smile now replacing the real one you had when you entered the office. Leon hated that one date could still have so much effect on the two of you. 

You grasped his hand during the rest of the appointment, and you watched as he sunk into himself, his eyes turning hazy as he dissociated. Your fingers squeezing his desperately trying to get him to come back. You would never blame him, the horrors he had been through were enough to break a thousand men and he was still here. You had asked him years ago to explain everything to allow the secret he had kept so long to be heard by someone he trusted to help him heal. Since then the pregnancy had turned into a nine-month countdown to the date. The small kicks he felt every night fought desperately against the feeling, the reminder. The life you were carrying to involve him in a never-ending circle of happiness was already trying to heal their dad. Leon was too good of a man to let this affect the relationship with the child, besides due dates can be wrong all the time. Sometimes the baby will come later, he might be lucky.

You watched him become nervous as the countdown began as you were in the final weeks of the pregnancy. It became a routine for Leon to stare at the red circle every morning as he made breakfast and coffee. Only getting worse since the date was only a few days away at this point. The nursery was completely decorated with things you had both collected yourselves and had been given in the baby shower. All of the baby grows were washed and put away, a large stockpile of diapers in the changing table ready to be used up. You were both just waiting on the baby. 

“Good morning” You spoke softly as you entered the room. Your voice is now the only thing taking his attention away from the calendar. Leon smiled at you, his oversized shirt draped over your body. “Morning” He mumbled, hand instantly smoothing the fabric smiling at the little kicks that greeted him. It wasn’t unusual for him to be awake early, his military timer being one of the things that never left him. Despite your attempts to train it out of him in favour for a few more hours in bed. “What’s for breakfast today? It smells good” You hummed sweetly looking over at the hob. 

You tried to hide it, you really did but Leon didn’t miss the twinge of pain in your face. The small adjustment you gave yourself as pain washed over you. “Are you alright?” He asked ignoring your previous question entirely. His touch was gentle a simple reminder of his support. You nodded muttering a small ‘yes’ despite your features clenched together displaying otherwise. His hand moved gently on your lower back, the movements distracting you from the pain. You knew what the date was but you also knew what the pain meant. You just didn’t have the heart to tell him yet. After spending the whole night hoping that maybe it was just a Braxton hix and they would fade away eventually. However, the world wasn’t that kind. “Love, please don’t lie to me. Not when you are this close” 

“The date-”

“I know the date…I don’t care not right now. Tell me what’s happening” 

You turned to him, finally able to stand up straighter now the pain had subsided. Leon knew what you were getting at, he’d read all the books and leaflets the doctor recommended. All to be able to recognise the signs. Leon ensured that he was as prepared as he could be but now it was happening he froze. Panic rose in his system as you had yet another contraction in front of him. The timings were too close together, you had waited for hours as he slept. Hoping it won’t fall on this date. For his sake. 

“Do we need to leave?” He asked, his voice catching in his throat. You nodded a soft chuckle leaving your lips as you held onto him, fingers digging in his arm as you let the pain subside. To his credit he worked quickly, gathering the bag and items you had prepared and putting them into the car. He was careful as he led you towards the car. One eye on the road and the other on you, pride swelling in his chest at how well you were handling yourself. He thought he would be more lost today, that the date would distract him from being present with you. It did occasionally, every time someone would remind you both of the fact the baby was arriving on your due date he would go silent. Get lost in his mind again. Only to be brought back by a softer comment from you or your touch. The same way you would normally bring him back after spending years with him.  

When getting himself coffee or ice chips for you; he would make sure to avoid the ER, the screams triggering his flashbacks. You were proud of him, he never let it show. Despite the circumstances, you knew he would be the best partner you could get in this situation. 

You tried to hold back from making any sound but the more you needed to push the louder you got. He didn’t blame you, he could see that you were trying for his sake. The hospital was already proving to be challenging with all of the other mothers throughout the day going through the same process just a few rooms down. Leon could feel your attempts to be silent in the way you gripped his hand. You saw Leon wince at every moan and flinch at every scream you made. It didn’t help the baby was progressing slowly meaning the process was dragged out. It seemed like the entire day was attempting to make this harder for him. 

Yet despite everything he still helped you through it, complimenting your progress and how well you were doing. “You can do it, You are doing so good” He whispered in your hair, placing kisses not caring for the sweat that coated your skin. His kisses were cold and welcomed against your sweaty skin. You shook your head exhaustion lingering in the corner ready to take over. The final moments were the hardest for him. Leon tried so hard not to let it affect him but the room was suddenly too loud as it now filled with the baby’s cries, the nurses praising you as you also cried. The wails reminded him of all the distant ones he heard as he ran around the police station, of all the people he couldn’t save as he was trapped inside. Your deeper groans of pain sounded similar to Marvin’s as he spoke helping Leon out of the station. 

You felt his presence, but he wasn’t there, his eyes watching over you with that hazed look again. You wouldn’t hold it against him; it was enough that he was here physically. You knew he hated the hospital, the sounds of everyone injured and in pain. You’ve spent countless times trying to force him to get his sickness checked out by doctors instead of googling the symptoms. However, you knew that once the noise reduced, he would come back, and he would enjoy the moment. 

Guilt washed over him as he held the baby the small bundle watching him with curious eyes. You were asleep, having some well-deserved rest. The machines beeped around him, the noise of the hospital fading as he looked back into those blue eyes. They were so small in his arms, their head cradled perfectly in the palm of his hand. This is what he endured and fought for that night, the chance to have a life at the end of it. To have happiness and love surround him in even the smallest ways. Leon didn’t know he was going to be tracked down and blacked mailed by the government for just surviving the events of Raccoon City. Neither did he know that he was going to have to sign his life away putting what he assumed as pure luck into training. He had just watched you champion this for 9 months, endure days of morning sickness, all of the growing pains without a complaint. Looking forward to the future when you can finally hold the baby. He supposed in his own long-winded way he did the same. 

All the nightmares suddenly didn’t matter anymore, not when a positive thing overtook them. Soon to be interrupted by softer cries in the night. The small bundle he held in his arms wasn’t just a new birthday to celebrate for them but for him as well. For the new Leon that wouldn’t let that one night dictate the rest of his life, haunt him forever. It was his chance at a rebirth, at a new beginning. Not only as a husband and father but just as himself. 

[castlekriegler]

Hello everybody! :D

Master Eckhardt, I have a confession! xD For the past two weeks I've been trying to get used to the remastered Kurtis. His new looks has been bothering me. Yes, me, one of the most obsessed people with Lartis and AOD. :( :( :( It makes me feel sad and confused. I was not sure if to write anything because I didn't want to be spoiling the ongoing party! Plus I didn't want to criticize in public too much because that would feel like back-stabbing all the people involved…

Luckily yesterday I realized that with some minor adjustments and rather small changes made here and there, he could be close to perfection and way closer to the original. ;D

Just to make myself clear: I have NEVER meant to bother or attack the creators and/or fans of the remastered version of Kurtis. I'm happy that many people love the new Kurtis' face. And I'm glad, grateful, excited and enthusiastic that TRAOD has got another chance to shine. (Even though we all know that there have been some quality and other issues mostly caused by the lack of time - which is unforgivable! by the people who caused it - AOD has always deserved more and seems to be cursed by the time restrains…)

Anyway I wasn't sure what exactly was bothering me about the new face in Kurtis' case, but something was definitely off to me. I couldn't put my finger on where the problem was, but yesterday I figured it out. At least I think. ;) I made these rough edits last week and et voilà - Welcome back, Kurtis Trent! :D (Sorry for the bad quality. I had only a very simple rectangular selection tool at hand, but you get the picture - I'm planning to make 'clean' versions as well when I have more time.)

(The pictures on the right are the edited ones.)

(The original picture posted by @angel-in-shadow: https://angel-in-shadow.tumblr.com/post/776308000718716928/soooooo-i-might-have-some-remastered-kuris-mesh)

The jaw and chin

The bony face shape from some angles (not visible here) makes him look much younger and even a little bit starving. xD But more importantly, PLS, get rid of the protruding (hag's xD) chin. It doesn't suit him IMHO. It changes a face a lot; it's completely different type of chin. I have a problem with the fact that the original face didn't have even a tiny hint of that face trait. Also his upper lip is does not stick out anymore and the lips are not so uneven now.

(The original picture posted by @minis-gaming: https://minis-gaming.tumblr.com/post/776146302680596480/the-demon-hunter)

The hair and his lips

I'd personally prefer his hair a little bit darker (not visible in the dark pictures in general) and the front hair shorter. I would also add more hair to the front - like overgrown bangs of a sort - more of it getting into his eyes (and covering his forehead more). I also flattened his hair on the top of his head. It looked almost like backcombed xD. Also the strand of hair thrown into the back the remastered Kurtis has - I have no idea how it could stay in place like that. xD The fringe-like haircut seems to be more practical and 'free' and without a need of adjusting it every minute. xD

The shape of his upper lip looks really weird in some angles. I made the upper lip narrower in the second pic. That was it. But to me the difference is HUGE. (The model seems to be okay though, so I guess it's more like a matter of textures or something… Sorry, I'm not very familiar with the 3D terminology.)

(Again the right picture is the edited one - I only made the original on the left lighter.)

I can recognize him now. I wonder if anyone agrees with me?

Of course, the original graphics (lacking in some ways for today standards) was leaving more space for imagination, so I admit we all could see the characters a little bit differently. ;)

Do I like the new remastered face? Yes - with some reservations. All in all, he has always been more than just a pretty face. ;) His appearance is important to me of course, but I especially LOVE his character. On the other hand, like seriously, look at the difference the edited pics make… *drolls* :D AWWW!!!!!! *crazyfangirling* I NEED THESE CHANGES! :P :D :D :D

Many people won't probably agree with me on several points in this post (PLEASE LET ME STILL JOIN THE PARTY!), but I'm just sharing some of my thoughts here. And wondering about your opinions. ;) And I'm also writing this to let the fans of the original model of Kurtis know that they are not alone. ;) :P Either way, the original is still here, so we all can be happy. A WIN-WIN situation, isn't it? ;D

PHEW! I have SO needed to get these thoughts out! You have no idea… I guess I'm too much into the issue; well, it's been a while since my obsession with AOD started, so please have patience and bear with me. xD We have spent a really long time with the original game… ;)

[ritzylate]

@saradika-graphics made the lovely dividers and also taught me what dividers were.

This is from a huge fic I'm writing and I'm posting entirely out of order. I plan on posting the whole thing on a different AO3 eventually. this is just the start of just one part of the story. I cut out the worst of the NSFW content. I'm saving that for AO3. Kinda wanna feel out the crowd to see if my writing is something people would enjoy reading.

"Caught" A Harvey x reader fic - NSFW

NSFW 18+ MDNI MDNI MDNI MDNI I literally cannot say this enough. This is not for you.

Super dialog heavy.

Content warnings: Past relationship trauma, trauma and sadness in general, established relationship, adult entertainment, getting off. You get the idea.

AFAB!reader.

Word count: 3200 ish

I have trouble with tenses so I'm sorry if this is ass to read. I tried.

“So you're staying at Harvey’s then?” Robin asked.

“Yeah,” you say, slinging your bag over your shoulder.

“That's great,” she says with a smile. “How are things going between you two? Good then?”

“Yeah,” you say with a little more conviction. “It's going really well, actually.” 

You feel a smile spread across your face.

You hide your embarrassment by staring intently down at the pebble under the toe of your boot.

“That's so great!” Robin cheers. “Harvey is such a great guy, and he's not too bad to look at either,” she says with a wink.

You let yourself get lost in the thought of him for a moment before clearing your throat.

“I best be off,” you say. “I don’t want to get there too late. I don’t want to keep him from opening shop too late.”

Robin laughs to herself.

“Of course. Well, have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.”

“Robin, you're too young to lecture me on what to do,” you joke. 

Robin throws her head back in a laugh and waves goodbye.

The short drive to Harvey’s place allows you time enough to think of how you want to thank him. A few obvious ideas cross your mind, but you shake them free, wanting to offer something special and more thoughtful than just that.

“Hey!” Harvey stands out front of his office, the morning sun bright and beaming.

You hop out and sling your arms around his shoulders.

“How are you doing darling?” he asks, holding you in a tight warm hug. The fall air smells of sweet leaves and honey.

“I’m good,” you smile. “Robin’s started on the renovations. Should be done in a few days. It really means a lot to me that you wanted me to stay.”

Harvey chuckles. 

“Are you kidding? Of course I want you to stay. I’ve been waiting for today all week.”

Harvey leads you inside and up the stairs to his flat. 

“You can put your bag anywhere. Make yourself comfortable. I’ll make us some coffee.”

As nice as a good breakfast or coffee sounded, you had to get back to work. 

“You’re so sweet,” you say. “But I need to get to work, I have a long day ahead of me.”

“You need to eat,” Harvey said, flatly. “You can’t work if you don’t have enough energy. So sit. I have some pancake mix. I bought it just for today so if you don’t have any I’ll be sad.” 

Harvey tosses you a sarcastic smile as he reaches into the cupboard.

“Okay, okay,” you say reluctantly, sliding onto the bar stool at the counter.

“So,” Harvey starts. “What do you have planned today?”

You sigh. 

“A lot. I have some weeding to do, probably cut some trees down. Could use the firewood.”

Harvey nods as he listens to you spell out your mundane day.

“What about you?” you ask him over the rim of your coffee mug.

“Not much, honestly,” he says. “I have a few patients. But nothing big.”

A timer dings signifying the pancakes are ready. 

“Here you are, dear,” he said, sliding the pancakes onto a plate. 

“Thank you, Harvey,” you say earnestly. Your stomach rumbles at the idea of a pancake breakfast.

Harvey takes your plate and throws it in the sink as you finish your last bite.

“I’ll get to it later,” he says with a shrug.

“That was really kind of you,” you say shyly. It was hard for you to accept such kindness.

“Happy to do it.” Harvey watches you for a moment before drawing his attention to the clock.

“I better get down there,” he said with a heavy sigh. “Or Maru is going to tear me to shreds.”

You wipe the syrup off your lips with the back of your hand.

“Breakfast was lovely, Harvey, thank you,” you say again. You feel like there isn’t enough thanks in the world to express how much his gestures meant to you. 

Harvey places his hand on the small of your back.

“Don’t work too hard today,” he says as he nudges you, giving you a kiss on your cheek. 

When you arrive back at the farm, Robin is knee deep in her project. It’d only take three days, she said, but you have trouble imagining how such work could be done so quick.

You set to work at the farm. Your cows needed milking, your chickens needed feeding, there were new fruits found in the cave. But your mind wandered. 

Wonder what Harvey is doing right now?

If Robin was paying any attention to you, she’d laugh at how blissfully unaware you were of your surroundings. 

The sun sits high in the sky when you lean down to start plucking at the weeds biting at the base of your crops.

You yank at the greenery when you feel a tightening in your calf, followed by a sharp, sudden pain.

The pain catches you off guard, and you reach down to grasp at your leg. 

You fight to stay on your feet, but before you know it you fall to the dirt.

“Are you okay??” Robin calls out. You hear her boots hitting the metal on her ladder. 

“Oh what happened?”

“I don't know,” you say honestly. “I think I pulled something. I stood wrong or something. I'm fine.”

“Well. It's a good thing you're fucking the doctor, huh?”

You try to laugh, but the grimaced pain on your face won't go away. 

Robin rubs your back. 

“I'm sorry, I shouldn't joke. When a farmer stops working because of pain, you know it's serious.”

“It's not serious,” you say. “I'm fine. But…maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to stop early.”

Robin wraps an arm under you and lifts you up. You hobble to your car, Robin helping you open the door to shuffle you in.

“I can drive you,” she offers.

“No no, I'm fine, I can make it. It's all good.”

Robin looks after you with a worried, motherly look on her face as you wave to her through your open window.  

You pull up to Harvey’s clinic. The windows darkened except for a distant light shining through the hallway door leading to the stairs. . 

The pain comes and goes, but either way, you really weren't getting that much work done. And you’re already here. No sense in returning only to have the pain spike again. You might as well call it a night.

You push the front door open into a near silent office. The only sound being a slight hum from the heater.

“Harvey?” But no one answers. 

You close the door quietly, locking it behind you. 

There are slight sounds emanating from beyond the stairs but nothing too distinct. Just enough to let you know he's home. 

You climb the stairs, holding onto the wall for extra support. 

The handle to Harvey’s flat sticks slightly, but gives way to a click with enough force. 

“Harvey?” you ask again.

You move to peer round the door, not wanting to spook him. You press your knuckle to the door to give it a knock, but take pause when your brain catches up to what you're hearing.  

Heavy breathing, soft moaning, the creak of Harvey’s leather chair.

You peek your head around the door just long enough to see Harvey at his desk. His laptop opened, the screen obscured by his bare chest.

Harvey’s head rests on the back of his chair, knees barely visible on either side of him. 

“Oh fuck,” he breathes.

Your eyes widen from the shock. From this angle, you can't see much, but you still feel your cheeks flush.

You can see enough to watch him bring a hand to his forehead, running his fingers through his hair. He grabs a fistfull of his auburn locks, tightening them into a fist.

You shut your eyes, turning from the door. But the sounds of Harvey still wash over you like a wave. 

You feel breathless yourself. What do you do? Do you say something? Interrupt? Do you turn and leave? And even then, what next? Wait a few minutes, then come back? Do you pretend you only just arrived, give him a shout up the stairs to give him warning? Do you lie and pretend you didn't see anything?

You decide that leaving would offer the most ideal situation for him. Leave, wait downstairs for a little bit, then come back up. He doesn’t have to know you were here. You pull the door towards you to slowly shut the door. As it swings shut, your boot catches the edge, causing the door to bounce off the rubber. The hollow squeak sounded louder than church bells in the current situation. 

Harvey’s head whips around, his eyes widening in horror.

“Oh Yoba!” Harvey shouts, fumbling with his laptop screen. His hurried, frightened movements cause him to trip over himself, nearly knocking over the bookcase and all of its contents. 

“I- it- oh my- I can't believe, I-” Harvey’s panicked voice rushing over his words.

“Hey, hey, it's okay!! Harvey, it's fine!” Your race to issue as much reassurance as you can through the half closed door. 

“I wasn't, I mean, I was but, shit this is so embarrassing oh Yoba I don’t know what to say.”

You close the door over and hide even further behind it, teetering on the edge of the stairs.

You can barely make out Harvey's figure as he fumbles to pull his pants up around his hips before the door shuts completely. You hold onto the handle with one hand, your knuckles turning white from sheer panic.

“Harvey, really, you're fine! It's okay!!” you call through the door. “I'm so sorry I didn't mean to walk in on you, this is my fault, I'm so sorry.”

“You're just here earlier than I expected, I’m so sorry, I can’t believe-” Harvey pulls the door open, looking at you with a beet red face. You stumble over your feet to catch your footing. 

 Harvey narrows his eyes. 

“Are you okay?” The panic in his voice fading immediately. 

You don't say anything, feeling your own embarrassment sneak in. 

“Your leg? What happened?” Harvey's voice shifts from anxious to concerned medical professional immediately. 

You didn't realize you were still rubbing your calf.

“What?” You almost forgot. “No, I'm fine, I think I just strained it or maybe a charley horse, I'm fine. I thought maybe it was my sign to come back a little early. I should have texted you, I'm sorry.”

“Yes you should have!” 

You feel a wash of shame at his voice being raised. This was all your fault, none of this had to happen if you had just been responsible and texted him first. 

“You shouldn't have walked on it, I could have come and gotten you. That's what I'm here for. To help you.”

His words softened and by the end his voice was soft like satin.

“No, no, I’m sorry. I shouldn't have just let myself in. There’s nothing wrong really. I can go,” you offer.

You stand up straight, putting your weight mostly on the other leg. 

The pain fades into a dull ache that feels more like a memory of an injury.

Harvey walks to you, placing a finger under your chin. He pulls your eyes to meet his.

“Hey, no, stay here. You don't have to leave. Let's get you off your feet.”

Reluctantly you follow Harvey into his flat, feeling a flush of panic and shame for having created such an uncomfortable situation. 

“You don't have to do everything yourself, you know,” Harvey said. 

You laugh to yourself, thinking of all the times you were really injured, and probably should have called upon him for help, but didn't. Of all injuries this was hardly the one you'd bother him with.

“I've been through so much worse,” you say, before realizing that was probably the last thing Harvey wanted to hear you say. 

“It's just a muscle cramp. Really.” 

You try your best to assure him, but the worry still sticks to his face.

Harvey runs his hand down your arm.

“Why don't we get you some water, sit down, relax a bit. If you're getting Charley horses you might be dehydrated. Or you're overworking yourself, but either way, water isn't a bad idea.”

You feel yourself blushing at how Harvey rushes to take care of you.

You don't say anything out loud at first; you just take a seat on your favorite stool.

“It seems we're both not used to having someone else fuss over us.”

Harvey reaches for a glass, his pj's riding down on his hip slightly. 

“Whatever would give you that idea?” Harvey jokes. 

Harvey’s voice returned to normal, but his eyes still held worry. His brows stitched together in concern. Concern for which one of tonight's events was a toss up. Probably both, realistically speaking. 

As much as you hated to admit it, taking a load off felt nice.

The two of you fixate your gazes on the tap filling the glass. You wondered which one of you would break the silence first. 

Harvey turns the tap off and leans over the counter to slide you your drink.

“Thank you,” you say quietly. You take a modest sip trying to draw out the silence until one of you finds the strength to speak.

To your surprise,  it’s Harvey.

“Listen,” Harvey starts.  “I-I would feel better if we just…forgot about what you saw. I honestly-I can honestly say I have never been more embarrassed by anything in my entire life.” 

Harvey fixes his gaze on the floor, wearing away at an already thread barren towel sitting on the sink.

“Harvey.” You try to soften your voice as much as you can without sounding like you're patronizing him. You want to tell him you’ll forget all about it. You want to tell him there’s nothing to be embarrassed about, but you know that won’t help the situation.

“I've always felt this weird, I don't know, shame? About that." Harvey makes a wide motion with his hands towards the corner of his room with his desk. 

“I know all the facts, I know it's not weird and it’s common for a lot of people.  I hear the shame and fear from patients myself, all the time! And I reassure them that, scientifically, it's not only safe but healthy. And if that doesn’t help and they still have concerns, I’ll suggest a therapist I know out of town, and they’ll come back to me telling me how much it’s helped them. I know all that. But…” Harvey trails off, tracing a finger along the edge of the counter. 

“I find myself feeling weird about it too. Like, I don't…” Harvey shifts from foot to foot. 

“Like you don't what?” You reach out, taking his hand in yours. 

“I feel like I don't deserve it. I feel like, okay, sex, at least someone else is getting something. I'm serving a purpose. But by myself it's just me, and I struggle with the idea that I deserve it.”

You sit in silence, letting Harvey take his time and say whatever he feels comfortable saying. 

“I'm sorry,” he said. “I don't know why I'm telling you all this. This just made this even more embarrassing.” 

You take a beat before speaking again.

“Thank you for telling me. You can always tell me whatever you want, and I want you to know how much I appreciate you sharing that with me. I know it can be hard.”

You reach a hand towards him, inviting him to your touch. He obliges, leaning into your cupped hand. You gently stroke his cheek, feeling the flush of his skin. 

“But we don't have to ever talk about this again if you don’t want to. You have my word. I will speak of it no more.”

Harvey went quiet for several minutes. The only sounds coming from the ticking grandfather clock and the hum from the radiator. 

You don't look away, keeping a soft gaze on his face. 

“You don't think I'm weird for it?” Harvey’s voice was small, almost weak. 

“Yoba no!” You exclaim. “I'd be a hypocrite if I did. My vibrator gets more use than my farm tools. My bottom drawer is as colorful as a rainbow.”

You offer him a lighthearted smile as your eyes search his face. 

Harvey closed his eyes and nervously tapped his foot against the linoleum floor. 

“That's really a relief to hear,” he says with a nervous chuckle. “My biggest fear was that you’d be upset.”

“Upset?” You tilted your head to the side. Upset? Upset about what? The very idea would never have crossed your mind. 

“Yeah,” Harvey drawls. “One of my past partners felt a certain way about it. Certainly didn't help me with my own hang ups.”

“I'm really sorry to hear that.”

“Eh,” Harvey shrugged. “We were young. I wasn't exactly the most reasonable person either. It was just a bad time.”

You nod. We've all been there you want to say. 

But instead you say, “just know that I’m here to listen. And if you want to stop, we stop. But I’m here to listen for as long as you want.”

This time Harvey is the one to nod. You can practically see his thoughts racing behind his eyes. 

“It’s okay. We can keep talking. This is good.”

You settle into your seat and take a breath in. You open your mouth to speak, but just offer a smile, a nod, and a small squeeze of his hand instead.

“So you don’t think it’s weird?” he asks again, continuing to nervously shift around.

“I think it's hot,” you say with a shrug.

“Really?” Harvey’s surprise both visible and audible. 

“Yeah,” you chuckle. “I would have been open to watching if that had been something you wanted. I panicked, and I didn't know whether to say something, leave and come back, pretend I didn't see anything and call out like I had only just arrived…”

“I would have picked the last one if you gave me the option,” Harvey said, putting his head down laughing.

“I'm so sorry,” you plead. “I was turning to leave, but I made too much noise. I’m truly sorry, I wasn't there for more than 5 seconds, I swear. I wasn't even sure what I was seeing at first, it was that quick a glace. If that helps.”

Harvey inhaled deeply. 

“That actually does help,” Harvey chuckled. 

“But-” he stuttered. “I'm kinda glad you didn't. Leave, that is. I'm kinda glad we're talking about this. Really glad, actually. Not just to clear the air, but because this feels like a really good conversation for us to have.”

Your heart beats out of your chest, you feel so warm and fuzzy.

“I really like you,” he says softly. Harvey looks up at you over the rim of his glasses. 

“I like you a lot, so, this feels like something I should share with someone who I really, really like.”

“Oh Harvey,” you say, placing your hand over your heart. You had a million things you would have liked to say. But all you could do was sit there, staring at the man you were falling in love with, thinking about all the ways you wanted to kiss him.

“This is, I guess, my first real, mature, established relationship since college. And even then, I don't know if I can call any of those relationships mature or real.”

“I'm really honored to hear you say that,” you say in a voice closer to a whisper. You can barely hear him over the sound of your heartbeat in your ears. 

Harvey closed his eyes and took in another deep breath. 

“I guess that's the plus side of dating in your 30s, huh?  We're all a little experienced.”

“A little traumatized,” you add. You sound like you're joking, and even though you both throw your heads back in a laugh, you both know you're right. 

There's some more silence between you, but the air feels lighter. 

Harvey rounds the corner of the counter and wraps his arms around you. He holds you in a tight hug. His heart sounded like a war drum.

“Thank you,” he says. His voice deep and echoing in his chest.

“You deserve to be happy, Harvey.” you say, absentmindedly running your fingertips down his back. 

“I’m starting to believe that, now,” he said, pressing his lips to your forehead. 

[cozy-cinnamon-roll]

Stitches (Part II)

(Read Part I Here! used to be We Interrupt This Broadcast... changed the name because I feel like this fits better 😅)

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Pairing: Ler!Rosie, Ler!OC, Lee!Alastor (strictly platonic)

Content/Trigger Warnings: tickling, very brief blood mention, medical themes (non-graphic & painless). And again, this is set right after Alastor gets his ass handed to him by Adam, so you can expect some angst (don't worry, he gets better).

If there are any trigger warnings you'd like me to add in the future (and/or to this fic), PLEASE let me know! I am always happy to oblige. 💕

This is a ticklefic! If that's not your cup of tea, kindly move along.

"Almost ready" I said. "Basically finished" I said. Sorry y'all, the Chronic Illness Fairy struck. 😅 I will say this was my favorite part to write, but also the one I'm most uncertain about... bit more angst in this installment and I'm not much of an angst writer lol... but with Rosie in the mix (especially as a ler), angst never lasts long. 🥰

Also I changed the title. Hopefully it's not confusing that way... cuz without Part 1 this fic makes zero sense 😅

One last thing... I'm so happy y'all like Trudy! Was thinking about posting a lil sketch of her at some point (I need a new insomnia project now that this fic is done 😅). I've been having a truly awful few weeks on the anxiety front, so all the positive feedback on Part I has been quite literally making my days 💕

Hope you enjoy!!

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"Ooh, you stubborn little bastard. You're still gonna refuse to laugh?" Rosie mutters.

Alastor doesn't dare try to speak. All he can manage is a defiant shake of his head.

"Look, my friend. If you 'don't mind a little tickling,' and getting all giggly is your specialty…" Rosie tweaks his bottom rib, eliciting a noise that comes just short of a squeak. "What, exactly, is the problem here?"

"I'm supposed to be in control!" he grinds out through his twitching grin.

"You are in control, sir." Trudy abruptly withdraws her hands, holding them up innocently. "You can tell me to stop at any time."

Alastor cringes. He was sorta hoping no one would point that out.

"Which is why I find it so fascinating that you haven't yet." A sly smirk creeps across Rosie's face.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

"I- I'm humoring you!"

"Humoring me?" Rosie tilts her head. "My dear, I hope you're not doing this just for my sake. If you don't want Trudy to check for further injury-"

"No, I do! O-on my terms!"

"This is on your terms."

"Yes, but-"

"In fact, you insisted."

He stumbles again, before mumbling another meager, "…to humor you!"

Trudy shoots her boss a disoriented look - but Rosie, as usual, is hearing her friend loud and clear.

"Alastor." Rosie rolls her eyes, gestures for Trudy to step aside, and scoots over to place a hand on his knee. "Adam is dead. Everyone in hell thinks you're either succumbing to your wounds in some remote gutter or hiding in whatever alternate dimension you just spent the last seven years. You're not even 'on air'." She leans in. "You can drop the act for a moment, if it's what you need."

That certainly hits the mark. For the first time, Alastor's smile falters - not completely dropping, but certainly losing much of the strained quality it's had since he arrived.

"I wish I could, my dear."

Encouraged, Rosie continues. "Well, what's stopping ya? As much as I love spending time with Alastor the Radio Demon… if you wanna take this opportunity to let out whoever's underneath that effervescent grin of yours, you know we wouldn't mind."

Alastor swallows - and for the first time in a decades, Rosie finds his expression difficult to read. "Rosie, I'm afraid I can't really..."

"I mean, you've been holding that same silly show-host-smile for years! Don't tell me you've never gotten tired of it!"

"It's sewn on, Rosie."

"…What?"

He hesitates. "Let's just say today wasn't the first time I've been, ah... stitched up." As he speaks, he gestures to his toothy grin. And for once, there's not a trace of distortion in his voice.

Rosie's dark eyes go wide when she realizes what he means. The cannibal overlord just stands there for a beat, in an uncharacteristic moment of shock.

But, being Rosie, she quickly recovers. "Well, so what?"

"I'm just saying, I'm afraid I can't really drop the act."

"Nonsense! Since when has your act had anything to do with your face?" Rosie flicks her hand, as if brushing the thought aside. "Who cares if you can't show genuine Alastor. I wanna hear him."

"But my microphone..."

"You're doing just fine without it."

Once again, this attempt at reassurance only makes Alastor look more disturbed. "Th-this can't be me!"

"...Well, no. This right here sure isn't the Alastor I know. But…"

Alastor is barely listening to her anymore. His broadcast persona has been his sole identity since he was alive. Now his radio tower has been reduced to rubble, his microphone snapped clean in half, even his carefully-styled clothing left in tatters…

If this is the Genuine Alastor he's now stuck with - panicked, stuttering, weak - he can't imagine how he'll ever be able to face the rest of hell…

But these racing thoughts are once again interrupted by nails tracing up his sides. A sharp yelp cuts the air as poor Alastor just about jumps out of his skin.

"…Perhaps I can offer a little help?" Rosie suggests gently, once she has his undivided (and adorably flustered) attention. "On your terms, of course?"

Alastor just gazes back at her for a long moment. "What do you have in mind?"

"I happen to know something about you that even you can't fake."

The radio demon hesitates… before heaving a sigh and, to Rosie's surprise, giving a small nod of consent.

She breaks into a brilliant (and frankly terrifying) smile.

Before Alastor can brace himself, Rosie's hands have both found his sides and begun working into his waist. Having just watched him squirm around under Trudy's thorough probing twice (and adored every second of it), she already has a pretty good idea of where his worst spots are.

Which is made abundantly clear by Alastor's reaction. Within seconds he's gone from still trying to hold it all in by habit, to giggling into his hands, to cackling hysterically.

And it's the kind of laughter she's spent the last seven years missing. This isn't the confident, taunting chuckle he brings out for battles or brushing off rivals; this is bright, helpless, occasionally hiccuping laughter, the kind that is nearly impossible for him to stop once he starts - and the kind she only has the privilege of hearing when something truly amuses him.

"You can't sew your laughter on," Rosie reminds him. "This is all yours."

Rosie's fingers creep up under his shirt to scribble on bare tummy, adding a couple new sweet spots to her mental catalogue. This technique brings out even more of her favorite little quirks: the way he bats playfully (and completely ineffectually) at her wrists; his repeated attempts to speak around his laughter that only result in frantic spurts of incomprehensible, giggle-laced gibberish.

As she traces her nails across his lower belly she also finds a tiiiny layer of unexpected pudge. Which probably shouldn't surprise her - he's been out of the battle scene for seven years, after all. All those deer carcasses have to go somewhere.

Regardless, she finds it terribly endearing for some reason... and the surge of affection translates into a corresponding surge in the intensity of Rosie's tickles.

"AHaha! Ro- Rosie!" he blurts, his voice jumping a full octave higher than normal. "Stop!!"

Rosie removes her hands immediately. "Stop?"

"Aha- ah- well- I mean, er…" He stumbles breathlessly, and gives a sheepish cough.

"You didn't really want me to stop, did you?"

Rosie resumes with a chuckle, reeling herself in just a little. "How 'bout we say... oh... 'enough,' if you really want me to quit?"

Of course, she has to go and say it out loud.

"M-more of a reflehex..." he admits reluctantly.

Alastor tosses a shaky thumbs-up at her, already too lost in his own giggles to manage a verbal reply.

And he's gotta admit… Rosie was absolutely right. He wouldn't stop her right now for all the souls in hell. There's a reason Alastor has the most recognizable evil cackle of any other overlord. He can't help but find dissolving into laughter as cathartic and exhilarating as always - even if this time, it's not at some poor soul's misfortune. It's a result of his best friend's affection for her darling deer demon.

"As fun as getting your soft little belly is," Rosie muses, pausing to let Alastor catch his breath for a moment, "I can't help but wonder if you're ticklish anywhere else…"

Alastor may be off the air, but Rosie can practically hear the screech of microphone feedback just by the look on his face. "….I plead the fifth."

"Have you considered his ears?" Trudy pipes up shyly. While she'd managed to restrain herself behind an impeccably professional bedside manner earlier, it had taken everything in her power not to stroke Alastor's ears when she'd been close enough to do so. They were just. so. fluffy.

"Ohhh, heavens…" Alastor, for his part, curls in on himself at the mere suggestion.

Rosie grins. "Hey, 'no' is always an option."

A long pause. Alastor can't believe he's considering this. But the sensation of being tickled, as unbearable as it is, does feel awfully pleasant… and it's been so long since anyone has dared to touch him…

And what else does he have to lose at this point, anyway?

"I suppose if you're… very gentle…"

"Are you aware that your ears are the softest thing in the nine circles?"

This stipulation ends up backfiring. When it comes to his ears, gentle is worse. So, so much worse.

Poor Alastor is too busy clutching his stomach and snickering madly into his sleeve to reply.

"I should know, I work in retail. These right here-" Rosie traces her fingers down the feathery-soft edges, sending the radio demon into a new round of hysterics. "-Would fetch a pretty penny."

"They're nohot for saHA-ale!!"

"Nooo, I should say not." Rosie's hapless victim lurches back into the cushions as her fingers find the fluffy region at the base of his ears. Even without the microphone, his cackles have no problem filling the room. "You're the only demon classy enough to wear them."

"And don' you - GAHaha! - f-forget it!" He's so drunk on laughter now that he's beginning to slur his words. His careful elocution has gone the same place as his steady tone, and lack of stutter.

Luckily, he's also far too drunk on laughter to care.

...Right about there, Rosie notices that the faint hum of radio static in the air is no longer just in her head.

He is laughing his heart out for the first time in weeks. Genuinely laughing for the first time in decades. And laughing completely for himself, for his own enjoyment, without need for intimidation or control or image or audience, for the first time since long before he died.

While Trudy typically can't say much for her self-preservation instinct, she's got enough of one to feel hesitant joining her boss in tickling the most powerful overlord in hell (outside the pretense of medical intervention, at least). So she just stands back, watching fondly as The Most Dangerous Overlord This Side of the Pentagram utterly destroys the deer demon.

...At least, until she notices a flicker of green light out of the corner of her eye. Lying forgotten on the end table, the splintered ends of Alastor's microphone are sparking and crackling like live wires.

The surgeon creeps over for a closer look, staring in fascination. And then - just as Rosie gets poor Alastor behind the ears and delivers a scribble to his tummy at the same time - she ever-so-gently nudges the fractured ends closer to one another.

To her surprise, a bright green spark arcs clear across the gap. For a fraction of a second, the whole staff radiates a flash of a familiar green glow.

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Keep him laughing, Rosie," Trudy murmurs over her shoulder. It appears the Radio Demon's downfall will be nothing more than an intermission.

Thanks for being so patient with me y'all! Hope it was worth the wait 💕

💜- Cozy

[the---hermit]

17|05|2024

I have not been regular as I would like in my posting, but to be honest I am in a mental place where every small task feels like too much. Lately I have been struggling severly with anxiety and I always feel like I feel things way more strongly than they are, which is very very tiring. I also saw my therapist today who suggested I try writing or drawing my feelings to let them out or make sense of them and I don't know if I'll get something out of it, but I want to try. I do have good news, and that is that I have finally started actively writing my English lit paper. Yesterday I read a couple more articles, and then I worked on the "skeleton" of my paper to make the writing process smoother. Today I finally started writing and I have already written three whole pages, which means I will be writing way more than I am supposed to, but that's okay. Honestly I don't know if I'll get bonus points for it, but the real goal here is to write something I am happy and proud of. I feel much more motivated now that I got to the writing part. In the end I decided to write it in Italian because it's much faster, and I wouldn't have time to do otherwise, the sooner I am done with this thing the better. I don't think I'll be able to finish the first draft by tomorrow, since I'll have a friend over in the afternoon, but I'll do as much work as I can in the morning. I should also figure out a topic for my history paper because time is running out and I really want to take the exam in June. Finally this morning I finished reading The Southern Book Club's Guide To Slaying Vampires and I can say it really pulled me out of that weird reading slump I was into. I really needed a fast paced horror novel, and now I have a graphic novel I am very much looking forward to reading.

[haecien]

Birthday Wishes X.MG

A/n - this fic is for my baby @mirxzii <33 HAPPY BIRTHDAAAYY !!!! I literally love u sm I'll try to get this out on march 20th or the start of march ! Also we are both march babies and your birthday is 6 days ahead of mine<33 (we are literally twins atp) I HOPE U ENJOY THE FIC <33 Also happy birthday to everyone else who is celebrating their birthdays on march mwa <3 (divider creds @/cafekitsune & @/saradika-graphics)

Also babka looks so good👁

Synopsis - Being an idol is tough, especially with your strict diet. You wanted to celebrate your birthday in peace but your company thought otherwise, but here comes your boyfriend to the rescue.

Genre/s - Idol!Minghao x idol!reader, fluff, secret relationship, tried to make this gender neutral so y/n is in a split group (kard situation just imagine whatever gender you wish to be! <3), also a mix between smau + written!

Warnings - Mentions of food, Strict(ish) diets mentioned, Cursing, Body shaming(?), use of petnames, If you find more warnings I should add lmk! <3

Wc - est 700 words?

You just got back from a fan meeting, you're so tired and exhausted from it. You were annoyed from how many aegyo requests you got today though.... but you're atleast happy you got tons of gifts from your fans.

" My God... this is a mountain of gifts, so many jewelry this time tho! — "

One of your bandmates butted in " Well... you did mention on a weverse post you been wanting to buy new jewelry, and it is your birthday soon anyways— " Oh, my, God.

Did you really just forget your own birthday? Your OWN birthday?

" I— I JUST FORGOT MY OWN BIRTHDAY. MAKES SENSE WHY I RECIVED SO MANY GIFTS I WHAA- " you again got cutted off but this time by your manager.

" Listen up, we have a busy schedule today and the next few days. And I know y/n its your birthday in a few days, we'll host a weverse live and all that— " " Will there be cake? "

" What? " " You heard me, will there be cake? "

If there was one way to describe you, its that you love your sweets very much. There are numerous compilations of just you eating and adoring sweets as your fans found your sweet tooth the most cutest thing ever.

" Y/n please tell me you're being serious right now— Some netizens are noticing you're putting on some weight. That's a risk to your image! " Your manager scolded you, leaving you and your band members to be silent for a bit.

Your bright smile quickly faded into a slight frown, you were about to say something but quickly closed your mouth.

The leader of your group stepped up and tried to break the tension, " Thank you manager-nim, let's talk a bit later since the members are tired from the fan meeting— I'll see you in the afternoon. "

Your leader bowed down, as the manager left, " Y/n, I know you're a bit upset but you need to know hes trying to look out for you. If they say you need to limit on the cake then you need too. "

You nodded, looking upset.

The leader sighed and looked at you, reaching for there wallet. " Lets buy some Babka, you said you were craving that right? " suddenly you wernt feeling sad, your eyes lightened up. You quickly nodded your head, the leader giggled at your expression and your band headed out of the building to buy foods and treats.

That was your boyfriend for you, the one and only Xu minghao. The public doesn't know you two are dating besides mutual friends and members. Really you both didn't expect you'd be dating each other, your first meeting of each other was scuffed.

It was just when you newly debuted a year after seventeens debut, you were both at a music show award and they won their first award. You rarely knew these guys but you felt so happy for them.

Later after the awardings you saw the same band backstage, you wanting to be friendly approached them. " Hi! I'm y/n from (group name) , I just wanted to congratulate you guys for your first win! " the member who was closest to you looked a bit confused but just gave you a polite smile and a simple thank you, it was a bit awkward so one of the other members from seventeen came forward.

"Thank you y/n, oh I'm seungkwan! That was the8, hes a bit shy and he is still learning Korean and English so bare with him please... " you laughed it off and said it was fine.

After that it felt like the universe just wanted to make you go together at every award show at this point, it was like you couldn't escape them.

So naturally you both expected to always see each other during award shows and sometimes even variety shows. Some of your fans started to notice it and made a little fun inside joke which you all talked about with each other.

When one group is absent the other gets confused, usually after the show you'd be frantically texting each other bombarding everyone with "WHERE ARE YOU" texts. Because of these interactions your groups were very close behind the cameras, so its expected the whole fan base would be shocked to see a picture of you and minghao walking together, alone.

The company cleared it up by saying how it wasn't really them, obviously that didn't work... but the issue died down and no one really remembers it. Non the less after all of that you both still managed to have one of the most best relationships you both have.

But, telling the members the news of you guys dating sent them absolutely going bat shit crazy. After that some members slipped in a little joke or hint about you two, though the fans suprisingly didn't notice.

Time skip — The day of your birthday.

The day has started and you open your weverse notifications and you were bombarded with happy birthday messages, all of your colleagues, members, friends, family all greeted you a happy birthday.

Your birthday live was canceled due to conflicting schedules and you not having the energy but you assured your fans about it saying how you'll do a live as quickly as possible.

Your birthday was great, it was still missing one key thing. Ofcourse the cake, you and your members had a little private party and your company strictly told your members to NOT give you any sweets or anything that might make you gain weight, all you could eat was stupid salads and like one cupcake.

What a killjoy.

You saw everyone else eating whatever they wanted, you envied how much some people didn't care about their weight. It made you feel sick over how people were just eating and stuffing their faces with all kinds of sweets, on your own fucking birthday.

After your little party you went back to your dorm, you were surprised to see your door unlocked though.

You swore it was locked an hour ago, what if someone went in? Shit worse a fan went inside and maybe installed cameras inside?

Or left a creepy note with cameras! Your heart was beating while you slowly entered your dorm, closing and locking the door. You heard a metal sound, its sounds like something fell from the kitchen.

Scared, you grabbed a umbrella that was beside your door and held onto it tightly. You ran towards the kitchen and just started swinging the umbrella around trying to hit whoever or whatever was there.

You heard a thud and looked up, " Fuck— HAO? "

Minghao rubbed his head and looked down at you, " Happy birthday? " he had cake frosting all over his face and hands, and chocolate on his lips.

You dropped the umbrella " Oh baby I'm so sorry for hitting you oh my— you look fucking messy by the way." Minghao rolled his eyes at you.

" Thank you genius. "

Minghao pulled you in his arms and gave you a little peck on the cheek, " Now your face is covered in chocolate too. "

" Ew, the chocolate tastes good but ew... "

"Oh boo hoo, I know you're happy to see me. "

Yeah, he was right. Of course you're happy to see him. The only thing that could cheer you up after having a shitty day was your boyfriend.

Even if sometimes your schedules are packed for the week you still both secretly met up on breaks, hey what can I say your companies are close.

You peaked behind minghao and saw a glimpse of a beautiful wrapped box before he blocked your view again, " Aha, not now love. Later you'll see what I have prepared for you. "

"Come on, you love me right? Can't I have a little peak? " you cupped his cheeks in your hands, shaking his head a bit. " Nope, that doesn't work on me. Even if it's your birthday. "

" It will ruin the surprise ! "

Minghao convinced you to go into your living room and put on your favorite show to keep you distracted for a bit.

— After awhile Minghao covered your eyes and lead you back into the kitchen again.

" Happy birthday my dearest, y/n. "

Your kitchen was beautifully decorated, the balloons in your favorite color, the smell of the candle filling the room. The snacks on the counter, freshly made just for you and him.

And most importantly, the strawberry cake on the table.

Your reaction made Minghao giggle, " I'm assuming you like it baby? " you felt like you were about to tear up, " Hao, I love it so much, its better than the party my members did. "

" Im glad you like it, I'm sorry if I don't have much for your gifts but here. "

He gave you an envelope, labeled " To my dearest, y/n "

You opened it to see a letter. You quickly read the letter ;

" My dearest, y/n.

No matter how old you're turning today, I wish I'd spend all of my lives seeing you. I want to grow old with you and stay by your side, I want you to be my first and last, the person I'd marry and have my future with.

I know things haven't been the most easiest but I'm so glad you're still with me til this day. You have dealt with me for so long, you helped me when I was at my lowest. I wish to repay you back with every cent I have.

But if I cant repay you with money then I shall repay you with my life.

Happiest of birthdays to you my love. "

TAGLIST — @slytherinshua , @weird-bookworm , @woozvc , @bangantokchy , @mayashu , @mirxzii , @glosskirt , @amxlia-stars , @addicsvt , @isabellah29 , @hrts4hanniehae

[kittybroker]

I wanted to submit my cat Ombra, and his sister Serafina.

Unfortunately, Ombra passed away a day or two before new years last year, after struggling with kidney disease.

As a PSA (nothing graphic but it is sad), I want everyone to know that kidney disease is a common cause of death among cats, however it’s not always fatal if you catch it early enough, so they can be on the look out for it. The instant you notice them having strange bodily emissions (runny when it should be solid, etc.), and drinking water in desperate amounts, among other symptoms, you should get them to a vet as quickly as possible. But if the cat has already stopped eating, it’s probably too late. Treatment would be prohibitively expensive, and extremely painful and stressful for the cat, with a very very low success rate (if they do live longer because of it, it won’t be a happy life).

Unfortunately, we didn’t realise in time, and he passed away.

Serafina is very healthy today, however, and while she misses her brother, she makes up for it by spending even more time with us.

Anyway, Serafina is a silly goose who likes putting herself directly in your path (and the path of moving furniture [it hasn’t hit her ever, so why should she bother moving?]), everytime she yawns she emits a burst of fishy cat breath, and as soon as my father starts speaking in his low voice she immediately needs to sit on his lap. And Heaven forBID you not let her in when she screams and scratches at your door!

Ombra was not so great at bathing himself, but Serafina loved to do it for him, and in return he ate more than his fair share of the food and took up way more space than needed, often splaying and wiggling around into silly positions and nearly pushing her off whatever they were sitting on, though Serafina would promptly sit on him instead. He aslo had a terrible love for crashing into the backs of people’s legs to really get them worked up just before the person you were calling picked up the phone, while Serafina only recently learned to use the scratching posts instead of the couch! Ombra was a very loud purrer, my friend could hear his motorcycle rumble through the landline. He also had a broken tail from before they were rescued from the streets, meaning the very tip was crooked.

So how much for my kitties?

(I hope the picture loads properly)

Ombra and Serafina the perfect pair! Ombra may only be here in spirit, but that's enough to sell! Get these two kitties for only $47.62!

[daegudrama]

Title: Route 613

Pairing: Reader/Namjoon, Reader/Yoongi, Reader/Vmin

Summary: Reader wants to be the very best Pokémon trainer there ever was. Her first stop in that journey is Paldea University home to a myriad of higher education. Still working to get over her ex boyfriend, Yoongi, reader forms new connections while making a few questionable decisions along the way. Each battle bringing her closer to the glory she's always dreamed of. Will she succeed in becoming champion or will outside forces stop her from achieving her goal?

Word Count: 6.1K

Disclaimer: Real life ages mean nothing in this fic. Refer here for ages and my shitty graphics

cross posted to ao3 here

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

a/n: i know it's been waaaaaaaay to long but today is my dearest friend @melancholy-of-nadia birthday and she's the main supporter of this fic so i thought i HAVE to release something for her special day. anyways hope you all enjoy and every wish nei a happy birthday. also check out her fics they are amazing <3

Chapter 11

Your heart sinks a little, the memory of his warmth and the way he held you close last night still fresh in your mind. You run a hand across the sheets, almost like you are still searching for a trace of him, but all you find is the faint indentation from where he slept. The quiet, peaceful moment of the night before feels a little further away without him here. Maybe you imagined the whole thing. 

Sitting up, you glance around the room. His jacket is gone, and upon further inspection you see the door is slightly ajar, letting a sliver of light into your room. Maybe he’s just stepped out for a moment. You rub your eyes, trying to shake off the grogginess from sleep, but the empty bed feels more pronounced with each passing second.

A note on the nightstand catches your eye. With a flutter of hope, you reach for it, your fingers trembling just slighting as you unfold the small piece of paper. His handwriting is familiar, messy with the slight hurried tilt you’ve come to recognize. 

Had to head out early. Dewey is on a very strict schedule. Didn’t want to wake you. You looked too peaceful. Let’s talk later, okay? I really enjoyed the time I spent with you last night. —Namjoon

Of course his Budew would be the reason he left you alone. Your heart softens as you read his words, the knot of worry in your chest unraveling slightly. He hadn’t just disappeared without a word. Maybe he’s really giving you time to think. Kissing him definitely left you with more thoughts than you had before. 

But the ache of missing him lingers. You glance back at the empty bed, remembering how safe you’d felt in his arms, how easy it had been to fall asleep. The memory of his lips, the way he’d pulled back despite the heat between you. The same care he showed in pulling away is evident in his note now. 

You sit back, holding the note to your chest, a soft smile tugging at the corners of your lips. As much as you wish he were still here, you know this is Namjoon. He’s giving you time to process, time to think, to make sure you’re okay with everything, just like he promised. And it only makes you appreciate him more.

You take a deep breath and slide out of bed, pulling on a sweater before padding softly across the room. You pause at the window, looking out at the world waking up outside, feeling the warmth of the morning sun against your skin.

This seems like the perfect time to battle. For the first time since coming back to school you venture outside the walls of Mesagoza. The city stands quiet and dignified behind you, but out here, the path is alive with wild Pokemon scattered across the fields. You reach for a few Pokeballs, a habit more than anything else, tossing one gently to release Sriracha. They chirps up at you, tail flame bright against the soft dawn. 

After a few rounds of training, where Spark and Mac work up a sweat battling Pokemon, you hear laughter echoing from behind a tree. The laughter comes before you see them, loud and mocking, breaking through the morning quiet. You tense, looking around, and then two figures step out from behind a tree. They wear matching black uniforms with a bright red "R" emblazoned on their chests, signaling trouble. Team Rocket.

The taller one, with a smug, relaxed grin, crosses his arms and gives you an appraising look. “Well, well, look who’s wandering around all alone,” he says. “Looks like we got lucky this morning.”

“Yeah, talk about a jackpot,” adds the shorter one flashing an equally smug grin. “Oh, by the way, let us introduce ourselves. The name’s Wooyoung.”

“And I’m San,” the taller one adds with a dramatic bow. “Remember those names, because you’re about to regret crossing us.”

You raise an eyebrow, sizing them up with a smirk. These are not the top of the line of Team Rocket. That’s for sure. “So…Team Rocket, huh? Here to ‘liberate’ me of my Pokemon?”

San chuckles darkly, brushing off your sarcasm. “Oh, no. We’re here for something a little more interesting.”

Wooyoung steps closer, crossing his arms again with a look of feigned pity. “We’ve heard a lot about you. Yoongi’s ex, right? YN? Couldn’t keep up?”

“Yeah, it must sting,” San taunts, smirking. “Now’s your chance to prove you’re not as weak as he said.”

You keep your composure, a calm smile flickering on your face. Internally, you spiral for the slightest second before assuring yourself he wouldn’t say that about you. “If you think you’re intimidating me, you’re dead wrong. If it’s a battle you want, I’m ready.”

Wooyoung rolls his eyes, sending out a Meowth and a Lickitung. San follows suit, releasing a Gyarados and a Dustox never letting his cocky smirk falter. 

You release Spark and Bones, and the battle ignites. Your Luxio dashes in, targeting Meowth with a charged spark, while Bones shrugs off the Gyarados’s attacks, hitting back with mud shot. Wooyoung and San exchange frustrated glances as you keep the upper hand, countering each move with ease. 

With quick, efficient switches, you send out your Sneasel to freeze Dustox mid-air with an ice shard, while Mac lands a decisive karate chop on Lickitung. Even Gyarados, their prized pokemon, falls to Bones’ final mud shot. 

San calls back his fainted Pokemon, visibly irritated. “Enjoy your little win. Next time, it’ll be different.”

Wooyoung’s expression is a mix of irritation and forced smugness. “Yeah, don’t get too comfortable. This is just a warm up. We will be back.”

With one last glare, they retreat into the woods, leaving you with the satisfaction of a hard earned victory. You can’t believe the first time you step outside the city limits you run into Yoongi’s father’s goons. Not wanting to risk anymore run-ins like that one you rush back to campus, footsteps quickening with each thought of Wooyoung and San’s smug faces. Without realizing it, your feet lead you straight to Yoongi’s dorm.

Before you know it, you’re pounding on the door. “Yoongi! Open up!”

A moment later, the door swings open, and there he is, looking surprised to see you. But you don’t wait for a reaction, brushing past him and already launching into your story. “I was training in the woods, and then two of your—”

You freeze mid-sentence. There, sitting on Yoongi’s bed with messy hair and an equally startled look, is Jungkook. The sight of Jungkook sitting there throws you off completely. You’re at a loss, words freezing in your throat as you look between the two of them. He glances from you to Yoongi, clearly wondering what’s going on. Silence fills the room, a tense beat of awkwardness hanging in the air. 

Yoongi clears his throat, a hint of irritation in his eyes as he looks at you. “Hey, I’m sorry,” he says, his voice calm but pointed, as if he’s trying to smooth over the tension. “I really need to…deal with this. I’ll see you later, okay?”

​​Jungkook’s face twists with confusion, but he rises from the bed without a word, sparing Yoongi a questioning glance before leaving, brushing past you on his way out. The door clicks shut behind him, leaving a tense silence in his wake. 

You cross your arms, turning to Yoongi with a raised eyebrow. “What was that about? Jungkook hanging out in your room?”

Yoongi sighs, running a hand through his hair. “That’s none of your business.”

You scoff. “None of my business? You can't just tell me that after I walk in and see him here, Yoongi. It looked…weird.”

He quirks an eyebrow, almost amused. “Why? Are you jealous, beautiful?”

“No,” you say quickly, folding your arms tighter, though something about the question makes your stomach flip. “Just…curious. Didn’t know he was the ‘stay-over’ type for you.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes, clearly not interested in discussing Jungkook further. “This doesn’t have anything to do with you, alright?”

You frown, a hint of irritation flaring up. “Fine. You want to know why I came here, then?”

His expression shifts, his attention finally snapping back to you with a slight frown. “Yeah, I’d love to know. So what happened?”

You exhale, finally ready to get to the point. “I was training outside Mesagoza and two of your father’s goons showed up—Team Rocket. They somehow knew who I was and started trash-talking.”

Yoongi’s eyes narrow. “Team Rocket? Here? And they knew who you were?”

“Yeah and they pushed for a battle. So I wiped the floor with them. They left, but it was unsettling.”

He falls quiet, jaw tightening as he processes everything. “I don’t like this,” he says finally, his voice low. “They shouldn’t be here, and if they’re using you to get to me…I’ll deal with it.”

For a moment, you see a flicker of something serious, almost protective, in his expression.

“They also told me you said I was weak and can’t keep up with you.”

“YN,” Yoongi says softly. Even as he’s trying to hide it you can see the hurt in his eyes that you would believe what strangers say. “I would never say that about you. I couldn’t even…”

“Couldn’t even what?” you ask, locking eyes with him.

He lets out a sigh, his shoulders sagging slightly. “I couldn’t even…kiss Jungkook without thinking of you.” The admission hangs in the air, the weight of it surprising even him, judging by the way his gaze flickers down, avoiding yours. 

You blink, caught off guard. “You—wait, what?”

Yoongi runs a hand through his hair, looking away as though admitting it aloud was harder than he expected. “Yeah. I thought maybe if I tried with someone else, it would…help me move on. But it didn't. Not even close. All I could think about was you, and it drove me insane. I don’t want anyone else, YN. I want you.”

The intensity in his voice throws you off balance. You feel your heart thudding in your chest, caught between disbelief and the undeniable truth in his eyes. “Then why even try with Jungkook?” you ask, voice barely above a whisper.

Yoongi's gaze drops to the floor, his voice softer now. “I guess I thought I could force myself to get over you. That maybe if I kissed someone else…if I convinced myself you didn’t want me anymore, I’d finally stop feeling this way. But it was a waste of time.” He meets your eyes again, unwavering. "Because I don’t want to move on.”

“We can’t go back to how things were before.” You say sitting on the edge of his bed. “I already grieved our relationship.”

“Things don’t need to be like how they were before.” he says with more confidence seeping into his tone. “I don’t want you to run to me to run away from your feelings for other people, but if I can have you, even just a little…”

Your heart pounds, and before you know it, the words you should definitely not be telling him slip out of your mouth. “I kissed Namjoon last night.”

A flicker of something—surprise, maybe even hurt—crosses Yoongi’s face, but he recovers quickly. The way he pivots so quickly confuses you. “Yeah?” he asks, his tone casual, though there’s a slight edge. “So, who kisses better?”

Throwing caution to the wind, as you are doing too often these days, you let out a small laugh. You know that what you are doing is insane but the tension between you is electric. “Maybe I need a refresher.”

Yoongi raises an eyebrow, his smirk slowly returning. Without another word, he closes the gap between you, his hand reaching to cup your cheek as he leans in. The kiss is soft at first, almost testing, before he deepens it, fingers tangling in your hair as if he’s been waiting forever for this moment. The familiar warmth and intensity spark through you, and it’s all too easy to lose yourself in it, just like before. He stands in front of you lightly pushing you back onto his bed until he is hovering over you, never breaking the kiss. 

Yoongi’s kiss is everything you remember—familiar yet charged, his touch possessive yet cautious, as if he’s both reminding you of what you shared and discovering it all over again. His hand trails from your cheek to your waist, fingers pressing gently as he draws you closer, his intensity somehow both grounding and setting you adrift. You can feel his breath catch, his heartbeat racing in time with yours as his lips trail from your mouth to the edge of your jaw, and a soft gasp escapes you.

The way he looks at you when he pulls back—eyes dark and searching, lips slightly parted—sends a jolt through you. It’s a look that speaks of all the unsaid words between you, all the times he tried to let you go and failed. And somehow, you know he’s feeling the same, torn between the desire to hold onto this moment and the awareness that there’s no going back.

“Still need that refresher?” he murmurs, his voice rough around the edges, a hint of a smirk dancing on his lips.

You manage a breathless laugh, fingers tangling in the fabric of his shirt as you look up at him. “I think I remember now,” you reply, voice barely more than a whisper. “But I wouldn’t mind a few more reminders.”

His smirk deepens, but there’s a gentleness in his gaze that makes your heart ache. Leaning in, he brushes his nose against yours, his hand cradling your face as his thumb traces light circles on your cheek. “As many as you need,” he says softly, and it feels like a promise.

Yoongi’s lips find yours again, slower this time, savoring each moment like it’s something he never thought he’d have again. After several minutes you feel his cock pressing against your leg. Your hand trails slowly from his shoulder to his crotch where you grasp his length in your hand. 

His breath hitches, his hand stilling as he leans his forehead against yours, eyes fluttering shut for a moment. He lets out a low chuckle, almost as if he’s surprised by his own reaction, but he doesn’t pull away. Instead, his fingers find yours, stopping you gently, and guiding your hand to rest on his chest, where you can feel the steady, quickened beat of his heart. 

“Are you mad at me for what I said yesterday?” He asks, avoiding eye contact.

“I kind of forgot about it when I started kissing Namjoon.” you say hoping to flare his jealousy.

“Do I need to make you forget about him again?”

You can’t help but smirk at the challenge in his voice. “You might have to work hard for it,” you tease, leaning back slightly, gauging his reaction.

His expression shifts, a mix of determination and mischief lighting up his features. “I think I’m up for it. Just know that I won’t hold back this time,” he replies, a playful glint in his eyes.

You roll your eyes, your heart racing at the implications. “What makes you think you can just erase him like that?” you ask, trying to keep the mood light, though you can feel the tension building between you.

Yoongi’s hand tightens around your waist, pulling you closer. “Because we have history. I know what we had, and I know what we could have again. It’s different with you and me,” he says, his voice low and earnest. “You feel it too, don’t you?”

You tilt your head to the side shrugging. He pulls you back in for another heated kiss. Yoongi takes your hand and returns it to his crotch. You wrap your fingers around him again, this time with a more deliberate movement, feeling him harden under your touch. He lets out a soft groan, leaning back slightly to look into your eyes.

“Fuck, that feels good,” he admits, his cheeks flushing. The mix of vulnerability and arousal in his gaze makes your pulse quicken even more. Yoongi’s gaze darkens, a mix of desire and curiosity swirling in his eyes. “Did you touch Namjoon like this?” he asks, his voice low and slightly strained, sending a thrill through you.

You pause, feeling the weight of his question hang in the air. Instead of answering, you lean in closer, teasingly pressing your body against him, your lips just inches away from his. The tension is palpable, and you can see the frustration flickering in his expression, yet you keep your lips sealed, enjoying the moment of control.

Your hand dips into the waistband of his jeans stroking his cock while you keep him waiting. He is squirming under your touch and it makes you feel powerful. His fingers creep up the bottom of your shirt heading towards your bra strap. He unhooks it with one hand and you pull away just enough to undress your top half. Yoongi gazes at your breasts while he unbuttons your pants and slides them off leaving you in just your panties. His fingers quickly find your most sensitive area, teasingly brushing against the fabric of your panties. The sensation sends a shiver down your spine, and you can’t help but arch your back into his touch, your breath hitching in your throat. 

Yoongi watches you, a satisfied smirk forming on his lips. “You like that, don’t you?” he murmurs, his fingers moving in slow circles, testing your response. You nod, feeling your cheeks flush as he leans closer, his breath warm against your ear.

“Tell me,” he whispers, his voice husky and commanding. “Did you touch Namjoon like this?”

You bite your lip, caught between the desire to tease him further and the truth you know he wants. Instead of answering, you reach down, your fingers working on the waistband of his jeans, tugging them down just enough to free him. The sight of him, hard and ready, makes your heart race. You wrap your hand around him again, feeling the heat of his skin against yours.

“Do you want to know what I did with him?” you ask, your voice low as you pump your hand slowly, your thumb brushing over the sensitive tip. Yoongi’s breath hitches, a desperate gasp escaping him as his grip tightens on your waist.

“Damn it,” he growls, clearly frustrated but unable to resist the pleasure you’re giving him. “Just tell me already.”

“Okay,” you say, leaning in to kiss him softly, your lips ghosting over his before you pull back, making him chase your mouth. “We kissed, but it wasn’t like this. He didn’t want to go further.”

Yoongi’s expression shifts, a mix of relief and possessiveness washing over him. “Good,” he murmurs, his voice low and gravelly. “Because I don’t want anyone else touching you like this.” He kisses you deeply, his hands roaming over your body, mapping every curve as if to stake his claim.

“But I want him to.” You reply taunting him. 

Yoongi's eyes darken, a mix of surprise and anger flickering across his features. The tension in the air shifts, turning palpable as he processes your words. “What do you mean you want him to?” he asks, his voice sharp but laced with something deeper—an insecurity he rarely shows.

You can’t help but smirk at the reaction you're provoking in him. “Maybe I want to know what it’s like to be kissed by someone else,” you tease, leaning in closer to whisper in his ear. “Maybe I want to see if he could make me feel half as good as you do.”

His grip tightens on your waist, pulling you closer as he presses his forehead against yours. “You’re playing with fire,” he warns, but the way he says it, breathless and strained, only fuels your desire to push him further.

“Am I?” you challenge, your voice dripping with mischief as you let your hand wander back down to his cock, stroking him deliberately, feeling the tension coiling within him. “Or maybe I just want to make sure you know what you’re up against.”

“Trust me, I know,” he growls, his eyes flickering with both lust and frustration. “But you can’t go teasing me like this and expect me not to react.” He catches your wrist, pulling your hand away from him, but not before you notice the way he’s breathing heavier, the urgency in his gaze only intensifying.

“Then show me,” you say boldly, your heart racing with excitement. “Show me how much you want me.”

His hands move to do as you’ve asked when your phone starts blaring with the sound of a video call. You both freeze as your phone continues to ring, the sudden noise slicing through the charged atmosphere. Yoongi glances at the phone, and you realize it’s Hiyyih calling. Panic surges through you because you have to answer, or she’ll know something is up. 

You scramble to sit up, hurriedly pulling on your clothes, glancing at Yoongi as he watches you with that same smirk, equal parts amused and annoyed. You finally hit the answer button, plastering on a smile to mask the chaos in your head. 

“Hey, Hiyyih!” you greet, maybe a bit too cherrily. 

She raises a brow, immediately suspicious. “Where are you? That doesn’t look like your room…”

“Uh, yeah,” you stammer, casting a quick glance around. “I’m just…at a friend’s. Studying!” You almost wince at how forced it sounds. 

Hiyyih’s eyes narrow. “Right,” she says, clearly not buying it. Before you can think of a better excuse, you hear a voice behind you, smooth and unmistakable. “Hi, Hiyyih,” Yoongi says, leaning into the frame with a smug grin. 

Hiyyih’s jaw drops, her face flashing from shock to barely contained outrage. “You dumb bitch!” she exclaims, clearly trying to hold back a laugh. “Get over here. Now.”

You feel a heat rising in your cheeks as you shove Yoongi’s shoulder, muttering, “Thanks a lot.” He just shrugs, looking far too pleased with himself as you sigh, returning to the call. “Fine, I’ll be there soon.”

Without another word to Yoongi you leave, making a detour to grab Hiyyih’s favorite coffee. When you finally arrive, you find her waiting with crossed arms and a gleam in her eye. She immediately drags you inside, pulling you down onto the couch as she demands the full story. 

Taking a deep breath, you start spilling everything you haven’t told her. You start with telling her how you went to Yoongi’s after Namjoon confessed and everything that has happened since then. She listens intently, only interrupting for clarification and a few times to scold you. 

“During the Kanto trip,” you begin, voice softening, “I kept telling myself that Namjoon is just some guy I met a few months ago, you know? I kept thinking I can’t let him distract me from my future.”

Hiyyih nods, listening as she sips her coffee, waiting for you to continue. 

“But…he’s not just some guy,” you say, feeling a warmth spread through your chest as you think of Namjoon. “He’s a beam of light in my life, Hiyyih. He helps me do better at everything I love. He’s just…there, steady. He’s always there to help me when I need it.”

You pause, letting the words sink in as you remember the quiet moments, the way Namjoon’s presence calms you like nothing else. “I could tell him anything, and he’d always find a way to understand. No one’s ever been that patient with me before.”

She reaches over, squeezing your hand. “I think you deserve to let yourself have something good,” she says gently. “Namjoon sounds like he could be exactly that for you. And maybe Yoongi too… just in a different way.”

You sigh, running a hand through your hair, struggling to sort through everything. “That’s the other thing,” you murmur. “Just when things started getting more serious, Namjoon pulled back. Not because he didn’t feel anything, but because he… he said he wanted to take things slow. He wants me to be more sure of what I feel for him.”

Hiyyih’s brow furrows in thought. “He actually said that?”

You nod, feeling a twist in your chest. “Yeah. He said he wanted it to feel right for both of us. That he’d wait as long as I needed to figure things out.”

Her expression softens, and she gives you an encouraging look. “You know, that sounds like a good guy who really cares. He’s putting your feelings first, even if it means holding back.”

You nod, even though the ache from his words still lingers. “I know he’s right. It’s just… hard, you know? It made me question if I really am ready, or if he thinks I’m not serious about him. Which maybe that’s fair because I have no idea how serious I am about him. And then there’s Yoongi.” You take a deep breath, admitting something you haven’t said aloud. “Yoongi’s so different. With him, everything feels intense, immediate. Every time I’m near him it’s like a horny little demon overtakes my body. He pushes my buttons, keeps me on edge.”

Hiyyih chuckles knowingly, rolling her eyes. “That sounds exactly like Yoongi.”

You can’t help but laugh, feeling some of the tension lift. “Exactly. It’s exciting, but with Namjoon, it’s different. He’s steady, grounded. He makes me feel safe, and he brings out the best in me. But he also… I don’t know. He makes me want to be sure of everything.”

Hiyyih reaches over and gives your hand a squeeze, her expression understanding. “I get it. Yoongi’s like a spark, a rush. Namjoon’s that calm, steady light you can always count on. Maybe you’re drawn to both because they each give you something you need right now.”

You nod slowly, letting her words sink in. “I just don’t know how to deal with this without hurting anyone—or myself. Sometimes, I think it’d be easier to just step back entirely.”

She shakes her head firmly. “Don’t do that. This is part of figuring out what you really want. You’re allowed to take your time with this. You don’t have to make a choice right now.”

You look at her, feeling a small weight lift. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I just need to trust that things will make sense eventually.”

She smiles warmly, squeezing your hand again. “And no matter how complicated things get, I’ll be here, ready to listen whenever you need.”

You squeeze her hand back, grateful for her support. “Thanks, Hiyyih. I really don’t know what I’d do without you.”

═════════∘◦❀◦∘══════════

After leaving Hiyyih’s dorm you make a quick stop at your own dorm before heading to the library. Maybe focusing on your academics will ease your mind. The library is almost completely abandoned. This is typical for a weekend. You head up to the third floor all the way to the corner where you like to study. The soft hum of the library fades into the background as you spot Namjoon sitting in your seat. His nose is buried in a textbook. He looks up as you approach, a warm smile breaking across his face. 

Before you can say a word, he stands up and wraps you in a hug. The gesture startles you, and for a second, you freeze. This is kind of unlike Namjoon, but he holds you close, his embrace warm yet with a hint of something you can’t quite place. 

When he finally pulls back, he studies your face, his expression shifting from fondness to curiosity. “What have you done today?” he asks, his voice soft but still probing. 

Caught off guard, you stumble over your words. “Oh, ummm…just talked to Hiyyih, about a few things…” Namjoon raises an eyebrow, his gaze unwavering. “Yoongi,” he says quietly, the single word laced with meaning. 

Your eyes widen, and before you can think of a way around it, the truth slips out…well, most of it. “I…I went to Yoongi’s room because I needed to tell him something.”

Namjoon’s jaw tenses, and he glances away briefly before meeting your gaze again, a strange mix of emotions in his eyes. “Maybe I shouldn’t have left so early this morning.” he murmurs almost like he doesn’t want you to hear. “Maybe that could’ve been me making you feel good instead.”

The words hit you like a spark, and you feel your cheeks warm. You manage a small smile, tilting your head to the side as you reply, “You stopped me, remember?”

His eyes flicker with something unreadable, his expression taut. 

“So, you went to Yoongi?”

You bit your lip, feeling a sudden need to explain yourself. “I didn’t go with that intention, Joon. It just happened, and Hiyyih interrupted before anything really happened.” Namjoon sighs, the tension easing slightly as he looks at you with his familiar, thoughtful gaze. You feel the lingering spark between you two, a quiet urge to close the space between you. “We could…go back to my room if you want.”

Namjoon’s eyebrows lift, a small, surprised smile tugging at his lips before he leans closer, eyes glinting with amusement. “Oh yeah?” He takes a half step back, raising a hand to his nose playfully. “But you smell like another man.”

You close the distance between the two of you, stretching onto your toes to whisper in his ear.

“You could always wash the smell off of me.” 

Namjoon’s breath catches, and for a second, he just stares, his surprised smile fading into something deeper. His fingers brush your arm, lingering for a moment as he tilts his head closer, his gaze locked with yours. 

“You’re making it really hard to say no, you know that?” He murmurs, his voice low and rough. 

You can’t help the smile that tugs at your lips as you lean even closer, your fingers toying with the collar of his shirt. “Then don’t.”

Namjoon chuckles softly, his eyes filling with warmth and something unspoken, his thumb tracing a light circle on your arm. But then he sighs, breaking the spell with a reluctant smile. “As much as I’d love to…I really do need to study,” he says, voice gentle but firm.

You let out a playful sigh, rolling your eyes. “Fine. Always so responsible.”

He grins, squeezing your hand as he steps back just slightly. “I have to keep you waiting somehow, right?” His smile softens, and he tugs you close for one last moment, his voice quiet. “But how about a walk after dinner?”

A spark of excitement flickers in your chest, and you nod, “It’s a date.” 

Namjoon’s eyes linger on yours, his smile warm and easy. “Can’t wait.”

With those plans you walk to a different part of the library to not be distracted by Namjoon. For a few hours you actually get some studying done, but that only lasts so long. You decide to head back to your dorm for a nice long shower. 

Back in the quiet of your dorm, you kick off your shoes and let out a long sigh. The shower is calling your name, and after the day you’ve had, a little time to unwind feels perfect. You gather your things and step under the warm water, letting the tension melt away as the steam fills the small bathroom. With every minute, you feel yourself relaxing, clearing your mind and enjoying the peace.

After your shower, you wrap yourself in a cozy towel, moving to your closet to pick out a fresh outfit. You settle on something comfortable, a soft sweater that falls just right, and a pair of leggings. You run a brush through your hair, add a touch of your favorite fragrance, and feel ready to face the evening.

With some time to spare, you sink into your bed, scrolling absentmindedly on your phone and enjoying the rare quiet. Eventually, you meet up with Jimin and Taehyung for dinner, their usual laughter and easy banter filling the space around you. They pick up on your good mood immediately, exchanging teasing glances.

“Looks like someone’s looking extra nice tonight,” Jimin says with a knowing smirk.

Taehyung nudges him, grinning. “You meeting someone after this?”

You roll your eyes but can’t hide your smile. “Just a walk with Namjoon.”

Jimin and Taehyung exchange exaggerated looks, both of them clearly enjoying the hint of excitement in your voice. They don’t press you for details, though, and soon the conversation shifts back to their usual antics.

After dinner, you say your goodbyes and make your way to Namjoon’s building. The campus is quiet as the sun dips below the horizon, casting a soft glow across the buildings. You spot Namjoon waiting near the entrance, hands in his pockets, his gaze drifting as he notices you approaching.

His face lights up as you get closer, his smile warm and inviting. “Hey,” he says, his voice soft but filled with that familiar affection. His eyes scan over you briefly, and you catch the hint of appreciation there.

“Ready?” you ask, feeling a little thrill run through you.

He nods, offering his arm in a playful, gentlemanly gesture. “Shall we?”

You laugh, slipping your arm through his as the two of you start down the quiet path together, the evening settling comfortably around you. The campus feels different at this hour, quieter, like it’s just the two of you in your own little world.

As you and Namjoon walk, the chill in the air seems to intensify, biting through your sweater and making you shiver slightly. Hugging your arms closer to your body, you glance over at him with a sheepish smile.

“Why did I think this was a good idea?” you laugh, a bit embarrassed. “It’s way too cold.”

Namjoon grins, noticing your shiver. “Then let’s go to my room. We can hang out there where it’s warm.”

You nod, grateful, and the two of you head toward his building, slipping through the halls and up the stairs until you reach his door. When you step inside, a wave of warmth greets you, along with the unmistakable scent of fresh greenery.

Namjoon’s room is earthy and welcoming, a cozy space filled with a mix of plants in all shapes and sizes. There’s a large monstera in one corner, its big green leaves sprawling out, casting gentle shadows on the wall. By the window, smaller succulents and pots of herbs line the sill, all carefully tended to. A string of trailing vines hangs from a hook above his bed, which is covered in a soft, dark green comforter that matches the room’s natural vibe. Soft yellow fairy lights are strung around the room, casting a warm, ambient glow that makes everything feel even more inviting.

You settle onto his bed, sinking into the plush comforter as Namjoon grabs a blanket and drapes it over your shoulders, smiling warmly before sitting across from you. The two of you talk easily, sharing bits and pieces of your day, your voices quiet in the cozy space. Namjoon leans forward, resting one hand on your thigh, his touch gentle and grounding.

After a while, you find yourself studying his face, noticing the way his eyes light up as he listens to you, how his lips curve with a slight smile. Your heart beats a little faster, and you can’t help but feel a pull to close the space between you.

You take a breath, your voice coming out a little softer than you expected. “I really liked kissing you last night,” you say, glancing at him shyly. “And…I kind of want to do it again.”

Namjoon’s eyes flicker with surprise and something warmer, his smile widening. He shifts a little closer, his hand still warm on your leg as he leans in, his gaze fixed on yours.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” he murmurs, his voice low and filled with a quiet sincerity. Then, without another word, he closes the gap, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that’s soft but filled with a quiet intensity. It’s like he’s savoring every second, his hand sliding up to your waist, pulling you a little closer as you melt into him.

The kiss lingers, slow and warm, his hand resting gently on your waist, pulling you close in a way that feels both comforting and electric. Eventually, though, you both pull back, breathless but grinning, the atmosphere around you settling back into something cozy and easy.

For a moment, you simply look at each other, the quiet stretch of the room filling the spaces where words would usually be. Maybe taking things slow is the best idea, especially with all that is happening and about to happen in your life. 

[hkthatgffan]

Well, today's the day! Hilda comes to an end. I figured now more than ever is time I make this post on just…how I feel about this incredible show ending and why it means so much to me…and why I'm grateful to Luke Pearson and the whole Hilda team. So, long post below ahead!

I found Hilda in 2018 via a post on the Gravity Falls sub of the trailer. Right from the start, something felt special about this show. And like many, I tuned in to watch it when it began. I didn't know what would be in store as I began it, but I was excited. This was at the end of the summer as GF hype for Lost Legends and the box set died down. So, getting in to a new show seemed like the best idea. It took literally hearing that theme song for me to instantly fall in love with Hilda. There was something so familiar and wholesome just bursting out of that opening. It was a feeling hard to really explain. By episode 3 and specifically the ending of it…I knew I had my next favourite show.

Everything about Hilda just felt perfect to me. The animation was incredible, Hilda as a character was enjoyable and full of life, the story felt fresh even if the core concept seemed familiar and all in all, I just loved the atmosphere this show radiated. It also made me so happy to see Canada have a part in Hilda. The Canadian animation industry is one I love given how much of a part of my childhood it was. And so to see it have a hand in this incredible show just made me so happy. Mercury Filmworks did amazing with Hilda. And I think that's how I began to understand why Hilda feels so familiar; it reminds me of those old cartoons I grew up on. Those Canadian Nelvana shows that were so wholesome & yet so fun to watch…while also not afraid to be bold. Hilda was that kind of show for a new generation!

I also didn't shy away from poking some nods to Gravity Falls. It was a great way to help spread Hilda's existence to more people and to this day I get messages from people who tell me they found Hilda because of my tweets, or videos or more. That means the world and I am grateful to have helped you discover this show. And like any show I fell in love with, I also bough the books and other merch for it. The Hilda graphic novels were amazing to read and see how the show grew from them, the figurine still just fits in my shelf, and the tie in books and more are always fun to collect. I'll miss it. Not to mention the memes…of which I made a few. The Hilda fandom is insane, yet so funny. Like all fandoms it has its ups and downs but I've met some amazing people because of Hilda and some who I remain great friends with. You know who you are <3

Hilda's conclusion means that the last of my holy trinity shows is now over…and with that, the end of an era. Truthfully, IDK what my plans are post Hilda. It was the last show still airing that I truly was 110% passionate about. That's not to say there aren't other shows, But there will never be another Hilda for me. Hilda is a show unlike any other I have seen. Yeah, perhaps it's not the most popular or the biggest or the best cartoon out there. But OMG, no other show since ever made me as happy and passionate as Hilda did. It's one of a kind!

I said in 2018 that Hilda is everything out of a cartoon that I wanted. I still believe that.

No cartoon is perfect and our definition of perfection is our own. If you ask me though…Hilda is the closest cartoon I have ever come across to my definition of perfection!

With that, while I am heartbroken to bid farewell to Hilda…I am happy I got to experience this show as it aired. I'm grateful for all the memories I made in the 5 years I had it. I'm grateful for the adventure and above all else…I'm grateful to have seen Hilda! ❤️

2018-2023

[sebastianstanisahotmf]

Alpine- Part 1

Bucky Barnes x fem!reader x Alpine

A/N Hey guys I'm re-posting all my fics. Also all mistakes are my own and comments, likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated xoxo

Summary You and Bucky decide to get a cat.

DO NOT REPOST ON ANY OTHER APPS/SITES. THE ONLY PLACE THIS FIC IS ON IS TUMBLR.

Warnings fluff

Today was the day. You and Bucky had decided to get a cat. It didn’t take long for you two to make the decision but it was still a pretty big one since any pet is a big commitment.

“you ready doll?” Bucky asked with a grin on his face.

“let me get my phone and I’ll be ready babe.” You replied with the same excitement as Bucky.

You both had wanted a cat since the start of your relationship but had decided to wait until you moved in together to get one. Today marked 1 year of living with Bucky which seemed perfect. You both walked hand-in-hand to the nearest animal shelter. Once you got there, you went to the desk where a kind-looking woman with short red hair was typing on her computer. She was wearing jeans and a graphic t-shirt.

“Hi, me and my girlfriend are looking to adopt a cat so I was wondering if you could tell us where the cats are here.” Bucky said with a toothy grin.

The woman looked up from her computer and gave you both a smile “sounds good” the woman replied whilst looking back at her computer. “if you give me one moment I’ll get one of my colleagues to take you there.”

“thanks.” Bucky responded, squeezing your hand in excitement.

You saw a tall woman with long blonde hair and what looked like an abundance of tattoos come around the corner with a smile on her face. “hi, I’m Rebecca and I’m going to be showing you all the cats and kittens we have in the hopes that you will be able to give one a home.”

“great!” you replied excitedly.

“good, Follow me please.”

Rebecca lead you and Bucky through a few corridors before you reached a door with a cartoon drawing of a cat on it. You could also hear the meows of a few cats.

“here you are. You can look at any cats and if you want to get in with any of the cats just shout me over and I can open the door.”

“ok, thanks.” You said.

You and Bucky had been looking for about 15 minutes when you both heard a really loud meow from behind you. You both turned around and saw a pure white cat clawing at the door. You both went over to it and crouched down. The cat was still meowing and trying to get to you.

“you stay here doll and I’ll get the lady to let us in.” Bucky said before kissing your head and going over to Rebecca to ask her to open the door.

Rebecca came over with a key in her hand and unlocked the door. “here you go guys. I’ll wait outside here but if you need any help or information I’m happy to give it to you.”

“Ok. thank you so much” you responded.

Rebecca smiled in response. You and Bucky sat down on the floor and started to call the cat over. It first came over to you so you outstretched your hand so it could sniff it and decide whether it wanted to let you pet it. Once it had sniffed your hand the cat licked it and nudged your hand so you could stroke it.

“wow I’m surprised he let you do that.” Rebecca genuinely sounded surprised. “he usually doesn’t like people and other cats. That’s why he has his own space.”

The cat then went over to Bucky who had took one glove off and outstretched his flesh hand. However, the cat went to Bucky’s metal hand which was still concealed in the black leather glove.

Bucky hesitated so you leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “it’s ok babe. You’re not gonna hurt him. You’re not him anymore”

“o-ok” Bucky replied and took off the glove what was covering his metal hand.

The cat sniffed then licked Bucky’s hand before nudging it and purring loudly when Bucky started to stroke it. All of the previous doubt on Bucky’s face had dissipated and turned into awe at the white fur ball that was now playing with his metal hand.

Then, Bucky looked at you and smiled. You leaned over to press a chassed kiss on his lips.

“I think this is the one” Bucky said looking at you with hopeful eyes.

“I think it is”

Rebecca had a big grin on her face while watching yours and Bucky’s interaction with each other. “great! If you want I can get the paperwork ready and find out the price.”

“ok. Umm just one thing though. What is his name?” Bucky questioned.

“his name is Alpine but feel free to change his name of you want to. He was named by the staff here since he was brought in by a person on the street who saw him roaming around with a large wound on his back.”

You looked at Bucky and he nodded. “I think we’re gonna keep the name Alpine it suits him. And it’s very unique”

“very well then. I’ll get the paperwork while you two continue to play with Alpine.” Rebecca walked away to get the paperwork for you and Bucky to sign.

Bucky looked at you with adoration in his eyes and leaned in to kiss you again. “thank you doll. I love you so much.”

However, the moment was interrupted by Alpine who had decided he wasn’t getting enough attention so he crawled up Bucky’s metal arm and head-butted his cheek.

You looked at Bucky and you both started to laugh. “I love you too Bucky”

Taglist: @buckys-wintersoldier @nicoline1998enilocin

[twomanyfandomshelp]

I’m rewatching Heartstopper because I literally cannot wait until October 3rd and I need more of this show pumped directly into my veins. It comes out two days after my seventeenth birthday, which is kinda exciting. But I digress.

I literally watched the whole first season today, which is quite impressive considering I actually did a lot of other things and didn’t start watching it until about two in the afternoon. And I finished it at like 10 pm, so it’s not like I stayed up super late to finish it either.

Rewatching this show I was giggling and kicking my feet and also yelling at the screen because sometimes the characters make kinda dumb choices and even though I already know how everything ends I still get way too invested. I just love this show so much, it’s such a comfort show for me.

My friend got me into the graphic novels right after season one released on Netflix, and after reading the whole series in two days (at the time there were four books, and soon after I found the WEBTOON and sped through that as well), I binged the entire show that day.

Heartstopper is such a pure show, and it just shows that representation is so important. I’ve heard so many stories of people realizing their sexuality (ME!) or finding the courage to come out to their parents or their friends or at school, and I think there’s just something so magical about this show.

Minor spoiler here, but Issac’s arc in season two was one of the things that kinda helped me realize that I was aroace because when I was watching the show and watching how he interacted with James and romance it made me think “huh, that’s kinda how I feel” and then I did some research (mostly comprised of scrolling the aromantic and asexual tags on tumblr, but a bit of googling as well) and realized that I’m aroace. So this show, that I already absolutely adored, suddenly became the catalyst for realizing my sexuality, and it just has such a special place in my heart. Whenever I’m sad I always rewatch the show or reread parts of the WEBTOON because it never fails to make me smile. To give me hope that there are others out there who are like me, even though all of my friends are straight and cis. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, I love my friends, and they were all very supportive when I came out to them, but they just don’t understand sometimes. They don’t really understand what it’s like to be a part of the LGBTQIA+ community. To be different. It’s not like I’m out publicly, only a few of my close friends know, but it’s still hard sometimes not having anyone to talk to about all this (besides all my wonderful aspec moots of course). My irl friends just don’t understand that sometimes I feel broken, or like there’s something wrong with me. Because, even though I’m very comfortable with my sexuality, I’m in high school, and romance and sex are such a big thing, and it can sometimes be a little overwhelming or isolating when you don’t feel those forms of attraction. Especially when two of your best friends have boyfriends. And I’m very happy for them, but sometimes it stings a little knowing that I can never have that. Obviously queer platonic relationships exist, and that’s definitely something that I want for myself in the future, but it’s just different.

My mom watched the first season with me after I wouldn’t shut up about it, and then again when season two came out we watched it together (it was like my third watch through both times lol). Once season three comes out, and we see more of Issac’s arc of self discovery and figuring out his sexuality, I might end up using it as a bit of a starting point to come out to her, but I don’t know. I know that she and my dad are very supportive of the LGBTQIA+ community, but it’s just so different and scary. Any advice?

P. S. I did not mean to write this much, if you read this whole post, thank you. Thanks for taking the time out of your day to read about my ramblings.

[ehh-is-the-name]

II 18 AM I RIGHT FOLKS????

OH MY FCJING GODD, I didn't visit this site for like 4 days just to not get spoiled and that was THE CORRECT DECISION!!!

WE STAY WINNING!!!! TAKE MY VIDEO AND GIFS!!!!

First of all, let's just all take a minute to appreciate the best part <3

There was the pg line later, and I really don't blame them. I mean... come on now this felt graphic. It's literally like if someones guts was splayed across the ground after an explosion. I love it but holy shit. Anyway my favourite gif on my PC:

Him getting his comeuppance is what I needed. I can die peacefully now <3

At the same time, I really can't get over this-

I mean, just look at the way he's staring- He definitely wants a bite.

= - - =

Now that I got that out of my system let me start from the top.

I can't be the only one to think that he might've been thinking about... Ya know. Let's just say season 1 finale-ing it again once he realised that Cobs wasn't holding him. Though that might be projection, he was probably just looking at everything truly being gone.

THIS SCENE ACTUALLY GAVE ME CHILLS. MePhone was so silent for every part up to this, hearing him sound absolutely petrified to the cut to the stabbing is ACTUALLY terrifying. God, it was like the suitcase being torn in half scene except real-

The abusive alcoholic father memes were right.

^ Quite literally my reaction to the first half of the ep today. Literally guess he's really good at hitting. Cobs can't swing a sword (thank god) but apparently, he can hit hard enough to fucking shatter glass in one hit.

This one too... Bro's cared about them so much and I can't with this shit man- I FUCKING CAN'T!!! LITERALLY MAKING SURE NOBODY COULD DIE OVER THIS SHIT AGAIN-

I actually can't y'all. I finished this ep like 4 hours ago and I still can't unhear or unsee these scenes.

"I made you so I can unmake you"??? "I desurve this"????? "You wanted my approval but I didn't care if you lived or died"!!! HOLY FUCKIN SHIT-

Sure, I could pull a book outta Cobs' and be like "lol he's dead who cares about a dead man" but DAWGS I can't stop thinking about the layers of trauma literally everyone's going to deal with specifically mephone because I'm a mephone head, sorry not sorry at all. In the span of a day, he watched everyone he cared about die, come back to life, his brother die, his abuser die, and move on from the reminder of his abuser (inanimate insanity). Like that's a lot to happen in a day guys. That's A FUCKTON to happen in a day. BOX IS ALIVE TOO- LIKE C'MON THiS IS CUFKCING CRASZY.

I don't even know what to say about this scene, I just really like it. Maybe it's 'cause he pulled out his kernels. Moving on.

This scene fuckin' gets me- His fuckin' "THEY'RE STILL ALIVE????" Will always get me. Maybe it's 'cause of all the talk of them being dead it just gets me that he got to know that they weren't, and that they didn't die <3

Top 10 scenes that make me glad Cobs exploded. I can't believe he fucking died for our sins (I'm still coping).

THE WAY HE WAS WITH MEPAD BEFORE HE WOKE UP </3 I can't believe they fucking killed him after showing this in the beginning.

That transition from early s2 to late s2 style was phenomenal, but just look at the scene- MePhone essentially talking to a brick wall about the show is killing me. MePhone probably felt more close to MePad than MePad did about him. I say that but I'm not saying MePad didn't care about him on some level. But y'all know. Also not overlooking the "Enhancing Obedience Emulation" installation either. I guess that's what makes him dying for our sins more meaningful. I can't believe he's fucking dead,.

Close to lastly 'cause I'm runing out of imgs in this post and I want to look through the tag now, I'M SO HAPPY TOILET'S ALIVE!!! ANd apparently not made by Mephone? Like MePad was talking about toilet when he showed up and idk- maybe I gotta watch that scene over again- Idon't know y'all. I'm feeling so many things this series finale.

OH OH AND THE SCENE WITH BOT'S LEGS AND FAN GOING "This is gonna be a whole thing, isn't it" WITH BOW IN THE FOREGROUND. IT FUCKING BETTER BE!!!! I NEED THEM TO TALK!!! PLEASE!

Oh and actual last thing, I actually SCREAMED when 3gs came on screen here.

Everything about this scene. There were many objects being mirrored, like Box and Suitcase, but 3gs and Mephone being face to face with breaks made the title click. They've always been mirrors of each other and I didn't even realise it. They're both free and it's genuinely beautiful. I hope the demolish Meeple as an act of freeing everyone there. I want the metags free, I want mecintosh free, everyone. Very glad 4s still exists inside of Mephone, it was so nice to see him, but I really want everyone to be free. Can't believe Mepad fuckin' died for our sins.... Everyone grew in someway or another, I think.

All in all, I'm just glad the corn man's dead <3

I didn't make popcorn but he did burn!!

Happy inanimate insanity y'all! We've made it to the end of an era <3

[the---hermit]

19|02|2024

I am once again here to complain about being exhausted. My motivation is still nowhere to be seen. When I was in class today it was okay, this professor is enjoyable to listen to (though I fear my notes will be chaos because she has the terribke tendency of jumping from one subject to another), but the mental and physical effort of getting up super early and commute is really a lot now. Moreover I should be trying to recover from my burnout but I don't feel like I am. I am also struggling a bit with anxiety and feeling guilty about not studying at the moment (aside from going to lectures I haven't done anything since my last exam at the beginning of the month). I think that writing down a brain dump of my to dos will help with these feelings, so that shall be my only goal for tomorrow. To finish my complaining fest this morning I woke up with a sore throath, again. I don't know what it is with my health in the past six months or so but I am weak as fuck. I started to take supplements again, so hopefully that will help me a little bit with getting back on my feet. Since I don't want this to be solely a complaint post here are some happy things of the day: I managed to read quite a bit at the bus stop and during my commute, I worked in the afternoon so I stayed active and I got a bit of money that I want to use to get a graphic novel since I have been in the mood for one lately, cuddles with my blåhaj while listening to the books unbound podcast, which is peak relax time for me.

Calm hobbit winter activities and productivity:

4.40 morning routine

2 hour history of Sabaudian states lecture

Read Notes On Camp by Susan Sontag (and loved it!)

Daily Irish practice on duolingo

Did a tarot reading for a friend

Worked in the afternoon

Prepared everything I could to make life easier tomorrow morning

Took my supplements

Relaxing time for my brain with bookish podcast

[fenimores-book-nook]

Books (again) and other things

10.22.24 ~ Tuesday

Welcome back to the Book Nook! First things first: HAPPY ASEXUAL AWARENESS WEEK! I want to do something special for every day of Ace week (I have yet to decide what) and today it's going to be a drawing of a frog with an Ace flag that I found on Pinterest. Maybe that's what will happen every day, I guess you'll have to tune to find out this week. ;) I'm also aware that Asexuality Awareness week started two days ago, on the twentieth and it is in fact, October 22nd. Tuesdays usually feel like the "actual" start of the week to me since it's the first day of work for me. So...it makes sense to me.

I will also be going on a trip to Arizona on Thursday, so you best believe Imma be rocking some Ace and Aro pride while I'm there. ;) I wanted to try to wear something Ace or AroAce every day but I might've forgotten today. BUT I have made AroAce bracelets to sell in the shop I work at, so we got one of those on. Plus, I got my nails done recently and they've got purple ombre, so I think that counts as well.

Something I did for Aromantic Awareness week is make a bunch of Aro colored bracelets and had them out for free, so I want to do that again for Ace week! But I am low on those bracelets, so I'm gonna be a bracelet making machine when I get home today. Besides, better late than never. ;)

One of the main things I wanted today's blog post to be about is a book series that I really love. The Baby-Sitters Club (the graphic novels) books based on the original BSC books by Ann M. Martin. The illustrators/authors have changed as more books have come out but I love looking at all the different art and writing styles.

This is probably the main book series that I will always get new releases for, no matter how old I get, no matter what age the books are for. (Quick side note on that topic: it literally does not matter how old the books you read are intended for and it does not matter how old you are. Heck, I'm twenty and I regularly read middle grade books. Because I like them. And that's all that matters. I'm someone who has had a bit of trouble with not feeling embarrassed with reading some of the books I read but I shouldn't feel embarrassed! No one should. READ WHAT YOU WANT TO READ, WHO CARES WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK.) Okay. Side note over.

I never really got into the original Baby-Sitters Club books, though I've read a few of them. I love the graphic novels a lot, I feel like the art adds so much more to the story. So far, there's 16 of the graphic novel adaptations out. (And yes, I have all of them, hehe.) I know they've skipped some of the original books, probably because they felt they didn't add enough to the Baby-Sitters Club universe. (Or not, I don't know.) But the ones they have made, I love. And of course, we're going to talk about my favorites.

These are three of my favorites out of the BSC! I'm sure if I re-read all of them, I'd include a few others, but we'll talk about these for now.

Good-bye Stacey, Good-bye is book number 11 in the series. Lemme just preface by saying, Stacey is probably my favorite BSC character's point of view to read from. She and Claudia are probably my favorite BSC members, honestly.

I love this one because it's Stacey moving back to New York City and while her leaving Stoneybrook is sad, the way she looks at moving back, I really like. Also, I've always wanted to go to New York City and explore, so I'm gonna love any of the books that have to do with it. As well with Stacey and Claudia's friendship, I love it so much. In this one it's shown quite a bit, their dedication and care for each other. The art style in this is one of my favorites. It was a bit of a change to get used to when Raina Telgemeier stopped illustrating them (I love her own books as well), but I think I kind of prefer this style more. I love them all, but this one just scratches my brain right.

Jessi's Secret Language, book 12. As a CODA (Child Of Deaf Adults), I really, really love when authors include deaf representation. There needs to be more representation, but over the last few years I've really noticed deaf characters being more included in books. As well as deaf representation, I'd love to see more normalized LGBTQIA+ representation. Seriously! But we're getting on a tangent now.

I love book 12 because of the things I've already stated, but also it's such a sweet book too. Jessi's love for dancing and how the kids and other BSC members show their support; I love it all.

And the last Baby-Sitters Club book we'll talk about today: Stacey's Mistake, book 14. Like I said about Good-bye Stacey, Good-bye, I love all the New York City vibes in this one too. But I'm also drawn to it because of the friend issues that happen. I haven't read this one in a bit, but I remember something in my brain going, "oh wow, I feel seen." I love books that make you feel like that. The way everything ends up okay-like every BSC book but that's partly why I love them so much-makes my heart smile.

I love all of the Baby-Sitters Club books and I will probably revisit talking about them in the future. They just give me this comfort and peak my interest every time I read them. And I'll also add: this is probably the only series that I've felt a real interest in writing fanfic and/or creating fanart for. But fanfic in the sense that I cast some of the characters as AroAce in my head. Honestly, it's kinda a lot of fun; I can see why people like creating an alternate story line to original stories in this way. :)

That is all for now, have the best day ever, and never stop reading what makes you happy.

All my love,

Thalia <3