#also michaels toxic masculinity is something in the first half too

[angel-archivist]

Sniff sniff i’m sick <]:-[ 

[justjenah]

Cowboyification as Harm Reduction

I find Michael’s cowboyification to be fascinating.

It would be incredibly easy to reduce his choice to embrace being a cowboy as simple machismo or toxic masculinity. But I would argue it’s much closer to a form of harm reduction.

When it comes to accusations of machismo or toxic masculinity, Michael’s own actions repeatedly seems to defy those claims.

When we see Michael and Mike in Latvia, in seasons four and five especially, Michael is incredibly open with Mike about the fact that he struggled and likely engaged in self harm.

See episode 58 for example:

Mike: This afternoon you mean. Why are we eating breakfast at 1 in the afternoon?

Michael: Because I waited for you, dipshit. Yes, I am always in pain, and I self-destructed just like you did and that’s how I know that it’s pointless. You can see the scars on my chest it’s not like I’m coverin’ ‘em up. Yes, I’m in pain, but I also grew the fuck up. You can look into the darkness, you have to it’s healthy to look, but you can’t stay there. There is no home there. There is only wilderness. My advice is come inside ‘cuz people are waiting for you there.

He doesn’t tell Mike to bury his feelings or to get over it. He tells him that it’s dangerous to live in your regret.

Michael is honest about the fact that he too felt crushed under the weight of the violence and tragedy he experienced. He’s perfectly willing to talk about it and willing to share his experiences.

There is an argument to be made that Michael’s cowboyification is harmful as it feeds into his tendency to be self sacrificial to protect those people he considers “his”. And while I think there’s some truth there I think it glosses over the fact that this is a trait that already existed.

An episode 46 Mikey runs into tier 2 without a second thought upon seeing a picture of Edgar’s corpse.

In episode 49, The Princess Daffodil Experiment, we learned that he is planning to be the first human at Base to be consolidated with the calculators and is later upset when he realizes that it will be Edgar who ends up testing that aspect of the technology on himself out of necessity.

I think in actuality, what the Cowboy identity does is give Michael focus, and helps him remember he has people to live for and to work in service of.

If we look at the Michael iteration from the 101 timeline, we find a Michael who is mostly unable to function. He sleeps most of the day, drinks to excess, and is overall deeply unhappy. He has very few if any enjoyment in his day to day except perhaps drinking with Boris. Mike makes reference to the fact that he half expects to find Michael dead, not from time travel murder shenanigans, but from excessive drinking. This is not a moral judgement of him but an observation that this looks like another form of self harm.

Given Mike experiences a similar period of heavy drinking and deep emotional distress that impairs his ability to function in seasons 4 and 5, it doesn’t feel like a stretch to assume that without his cowboy persona Michael likely would not be able to handle the demands of being alive, never mind corrections and unraveling time travel mysteries.

In fact Cowboyfication brings with it some real net positives. Michael may have a self sacrificial streak like all Mikes Walters (species) but as a cowboy he allows himself some selfish pleasures. He learns to hunt and goes out boar hunting with Boris. He learns how to cure meat and seems to take some pleasure in cooking. He cultivates a relationship with the neighborhood crows, and takes joy is developing a sartorial identity. He even allows himself to fall in love again, something that is difficult to imagine him doing for himself without becoming a cowboy. Loving Sly openly is a real act of self love and a recognition that he too deserves something in his life that is in service to no one but himself.

Cowboyification brings with it an ability for Michael to enjoy life while still acknowledging the hardships and tragedies that befall him.

It isn’t perfect by any means but in issues of mental health, it is often more important to find strategies that improve quality of life and reduce harm. Expecting a cure is not just unrealistic but often actively harmful.

When comparing 101 Michael to the cowboy we all know and love it feels clear that this is a great example of what harm reduction looks like: imperfect but meaningfully better than the alternative.

[dorizardthewizard]

HSM (2006) rewatch pt 3

3. Getcha head in the game!

Half of these students just don’t have backpacks huh, meanwhile Taylor has a wholeass suitcase

Gabriella: I can't believe you live here. I looked for you at the lodge on New Year's Day, but... Troy: I know, we had to leave first thing.

One thing I don’t get is did the new year’s party at the lodge end right after midnight? Lame. Also if they didn’t see each other, why didn’t they text or call each other as Troy said he would?

The way Troy whispers “the singing thing” pffft this movie really is a queer allegory huh

It’s kind of funny they show Sharpay being “into” Troy in the first movie because that really isn’t relevant at all, she drops that and tries to sabotage him immediately after the audition. But I guess it makes her advances on Troy not seem out of the blue in the second movie.

Troy and Gabriella's reactions to Sharpay in this scene are a wholeass mood, Gabriella's like "you seeing this shit?". Also Gabriella is usually seen as super bubbly and nice all the time but she's been through multiple schools, she knows what's up and what kind of person Sharpay likely is. That grin when she makes the "nice penmanship!" remark? Totally a subtle dig, I love it.

Also random country flags in the background – I didn’t know Americans knew that many national flags! (I’m joking I’m joking I'm kidding)

Alright basketball time! I'm just gonna comment on this whole bit - I like how they show Troy start to consider the singing thing but from a distance, mentioning how you could extra credit for auditioning first. Like he’s testing the waters. Going with the queer allegory, this is like when you offhandedly mention something lgbt+ related in the news or whatever, just to see how the other person would react, but you could also relate to this to a lot of things. By the end of the scene, we see Troy backpedaling on the musical thing and saying it would just be “a good laugh” when it becomes apparent Chad doesn’t approve. The next thing he says is a comment on Sharpay being cute, we know from his reaction to her earlier that he doesn’t like her but he still says that here, as if he suddenly feels the need to defend his masculinity and heterosexuality. Or as a last excuse for why he might be interested in the musical.

Chad's comment about LeBron and Shaq is so funny considering the kind of guy LeBron is. Also, Chad, Michael Jordan was in a movie with the Looney Tunes years before this movie so anything goes! Still, he's definitely buying into the toxic masculinity culture and literally shudders at the idea of show tunes and costumes and makeup and anything unmanly – let’s put a pin in that ok?

Anyway he likes rock apparently, which. Hm, is this already kind of breaking a stereotype? Either way, it’s 2006 so what kind of rock does Chad listen to? Older stuff or is he blasting In the End? I NEED TO KNOW

Okayyy Getcha Head in the Game is iconic, the first “Troy is conflicted” song of the series. I love the use of the basketball sounds, and it’s just so catchy! Little break in the diegesis there when Troy hits a note a bit too musically and the others stare at him until he realises what he just did. A tier methinks.

Just keep your head in the gay. No honestly I can’t unhear that now.

Who is “J”?

Wow dicks, they didn’t put the basketballs away

[kinnoth]

AVENGERS INFINITY WAR MEGATHREAD

-really doubt i'm gonna be able to finish this movie so we'll just see where i get to

- we already know how i feel about loki and thor, we don't need to revisit this

- ok but if i were going to revisit this, i mean come on, who wants to talk about "hela draws her power from asgard, same as you" cos i wanna talk about that

like what if that's the reason thor, god of thunder, king to a civilisation of warriors, was unable to fend off like, 4 dudes and a big purple dinosaur? the royal family of asgard draws its power from asgard, and without it, they are weak, they are mortal. maybe that's why heimdall is unable to just, you know, bifrost everybody off the fucking ship the minute it comes under attack. maybe that's why loki can't fucking conjure up a swarm of fucking microscopic knives to fillet the invaders from the inside out. MAYBE THAT'S WHY LOKI TRIES TO KILL THANOS WITH A FUCKING DAGGER. BECAUSE TAKE AWAY HIS POWER, TAKE AWAY HIS GODHOOD, WHAT DOES HE HAVE LEFT OTHER THAN HIS WILE, HIS TRICKS AND HIS BROTHER

WHAT IF IN SAVING THE UNIVERSE AND DESTROYING ASGARD, THEY'VE LOST EVERYTHING INCLUDING WHAT MAKES THEM GODS

somebody talk about this

- etc etc what if the reason loki is unable to attack the purple dinosaur with magic is because when he tackled thor earlier, he used whatever magic he had left to spare in order to heal him

checks out cos thor goes from flat on his face to swinging his fists in the space of like 30 seconds and the only thing to happen to him in between is said bit about loki tackling him

- why does heimdall save hulk? i mean, i could understand it if he were trying to aim the bifrost at thor and somebody somehow knocked off his aim and he accidentally saves hulk, but like, we've established that heimdall's loyalty is to the royal seat of asgard upon whom sits thor's mighty ass. thor who, in this scene, has just been incapacitated by a metal eggshell(?) and is at the mercy of their assailants. given heimdall's priorities, it is baffling to the point of inconceivability that he would preferentially save fucking HULK over his own king.

- if this next scene isn't the guardians of the galaxy coming across thor clutching loki's dead fucking body floating through space then i don't know why any of us are even here

- "he sent loki! the attack on new york was thanos!" makes no sense? like, if loki's scepter had the mind stone in it, which we established it did in the last movie when we broke it open to retrieve vision, then.....why didn't thanos just....take the mind stone in the first place? cos rock collecting is and has always been his goal?

what, do you think that just because you assert a thing makes us forget all the shit that happened before?

- i.....am actually with tony stark. why don't they just destroy the stones they have so that thanos can't get to them? oh, you made a promise? well promises change and circumstances change! you tell him tony! you tell that stupid fucker --

oh my god i'm gonna be ill

- i think the only person whose ego can match tony stark's is probably a neurosurgeon so 👍 i guess

-i love how we immediately went back to the "so dark can't see shit" aesthetic after ragnorak because ensuring that one's audience can SEE what is HAPPENING IN YOUR MOVIE is apparently for radical directors like taika waititi

- cannot believe that tony stark staring at captain america's phone number is being played with the same emotional intensity as thor losing his soulmate entire people

- honestly how many times is the mcu gonna invoke 9/11 imagery til someone calls them out for being terrorists

- lmao i know i said this before but peter's spidey senses tingling AFTER the giant alien anus has already started sucking up new york and it is right outside his window is fucking hilarious. that's just called using your eyeballs peter

- "friday notify first responders about the giant alien anus sucking up new york" lol like the first thing somebody did when the alien anus showed up wasn't to fucking call 911 GREAT IDEA TONY

- still can't believe that they let failed neurosurgeon dr strange do more magic than god of tricks and sorcery loki lol

- i know i rag on dr strange a lot about the fact that he's a neurosurgeon it's just that he sucks.

as a neurosurgeon eyy.

- i hate that peter parker has to be here!!!!! leave him alone!!!!!

- tony stark should not be allowed within 100 feet of children or minorities

- it is very weird to me that steve "brooklyn" rogers has an area code from georgia

- since when was hela a half-sister? ODIN'S DAUGHTER AND THOR'S BLOODED SIBLINGS OR BUST YOU FUCKING COWARDS

- i am very disappointed that thor is going to go get another weapon after we spent the whole last movie talking about how he is not the god of hammers

- i just need thor to have much more PTSD than he has right now. fucking hulk has ptsd. maybe they're saving the ptsd for later. one can only hope.

- i am glad that they are letting him be cleverer though

- THEY ARE LETTING VISION DATE A TEENAGER WHY

GOD. FUCKING GROSS.

- wait when did vision turn into a white man again? did i miss that movie?

- i am disappointed that vision the computer techno robot apparently has a penis. like what a stupid limitation to give your computer techno robot, gender. 🙄

- i think that the mass destruction of infrastructure and architecture in the MCU is because of the pg13 no blood limitation that disney has set? like there's no way to show destruction to the body, so one may only show the exponential destruction to one's surroundings. like imagine how much more dramatic intensity you could wring out of a regular fight scene would be if people were allowed to bleed?

- cannot believe that a computer techno robot and a witch are having a punch up with the bad guys. of all people to fight with something not their fists, it's these two

- wanda has no enhanced strength or durability? she's a regular teenager who's a bit witchy. the first time she got thrown through a glass door should have shattered her vertebrae. again i don't understand why we insist that everybody must have the same powers and capabilities when it's clear they don't. think about how much more interesting it would be if some avengers were more fragile than others and had to be given accommodations as such

- IT IS INCONCEIVABLE TO ME THAT FUCKING BLACK WIDOW (regular human), CAPTAIN AMERICA (enhanced human), AND FALCON (regular human with wings) CAN DEFEAT THE CHILDREN OF THANOS WHEN THOR COULDN'T UNLESS THOR (god of fucking thunder carved of steel and stone) WAS NERFED

- still don't understand how we'll lend aliens afro features but not afro hair, like, seriously? you're gonna dream up green aliens with gills who look like black people but imagining them with black hair is a step too far?

- the gap of commentary in this liveblog is simply because i do not care at all for the galaxy defenders

- "earth just lost her best defender" who? who does captain america consider earth's best defender? it's not thor; he doesn't know thor's presumed dead. it's not tony; he doesn't know tony's on an alien anus. who else has died so far?

- love how exhausted bucky looks. have always loved how exhausted bucky looks. love bucky.

- i forgot that tony was with peter parker. god i hate that.

- "i'm peter btw"

"dr strange"

"oh you're using the made up names then. i'm spider man"

ok that was cute, but peter's cute, we knew that already

- i want to fling both strange and stark into space and i'm having a hard time deciding which one to push first

- "you went to bed hungry, scraping for scraps" oohhhh thanos is just anti-poor people, he would literally rather poor people be dead than struggle, i get it nowww

this is on brand for mcu

- oh my god thanos gets 2/6 stones by torturing siblings in front of other siblings, seriously? you couldn't come up with 6 different ways to find his stupid rocks you had to reuse one twice?

- which one of thor's friends was stabbed through the heart....? fandral??

- "if i don't get my vengeance what more could i lose" more like what else is there eh? what else is there for a king of no people but their vengeance?

- CANNOT BELIEVE THEY GAVE HIM BACK AN EYEBALL JESUS CHRIST IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE THOR RAGNORAK JUST SAY SO YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO FUCKING

VEHICLE FOR AUTHORITARIANISM, NOTHING IS ALLOWED TO CHANGE, FUCK YOUR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT I GOT MINE

FUCK

- i do enjoy that thor is now science fiction rather than fantasy, i don't think anybody knew what to do with fantasy cos fantasy is again, ultimately about conservatism and the status quo. so i do like that we're embracing the new and boundless for whatever that's worth.

- marvel is a cesspool of toxic masculinity. at no point are characters allowed to actually feel anything because weakness is uncool i guess and therefore unmanful. like thor lost ALL OF HIS PEOPLE. fucking ALL of them. he watched his brother die in order to save him. he is not allowed a single fucking response of mourning. i don't care if he's pushing it back because revenge or whatever, this is the sort of grief that rules you, which will bring all your load bearing structures down to heel, and they let him do nothing; he does not even rage. perfect control. smooth witticisms. why. why aren't we allowed to see his sadness?

- yo i can't believe red skull is a scifi villain now lol space nazis for real

- OH MY GOD THEY WASHED BUCKY'S WIG AND IT LOOKS SO BAD

- michael b jordan was right btw wakanda is complicit in africa's exploitation

- i do LIKE black panther i guess in the way you technically like that cousin you met once when you were like 9 and never saw again?

i like how we have here in wakanda the sears tower (chicago), the batman building (nashville), and the gherkin (london)

- ok but like, presumably not a death cult super technologically advanced wakandans who are deffo made of human flesh and human blood still arm their people with spears

i mean unless wakanda is also a death cult

why is this chicks entire fucking face cgi'd she looks like a fucking cut scene video game character

- oh ok they have LASER spears, ok

so then why did they give bucky a fucking gun

- what is bucky supposed to be able to contribute here exactly, like fucking, again, he's spycraft isn't he? he's a one man, dead of night, operation go loud and then immediately silent kinda operation. why do they have him on the front lines of a fucking lock-step formation battle??

- "it will be the noblest ending in history" WHAT, FIRST COUNTRY TO EVER BE OVERUN BY ALIEN JACKALS??

- stormbreaker is just leviathan axe, somebody's said this already right

- omfg i'm so glad they're finally acknowledging that thor is OP as fuck and does not belong amongst the fucking squabbles of earth

-"titan was like most planets, too many mouths to feed not enough to go around, so i proposed a plan, dispassionate to rich and poor alike" JUST SAY YOU HATE POOR PEOPLE MCU. YOU CANNOT HAVE RICH AND POOR, YOU CANNOT HAVE DISPARITY, YOU CANNOT HAVE SOME WITH TOO MUCH AND OTHERS WITH NOT ENOUGH AND CALL IT EXTINCTION. THAT IS NOT A QUESTION OF OVERTAXED RESOURCES THAT IS A QUESTION OF RESOURCE FUCKING MANAGEMENT. IT IS AN ARTIFICIAL CRISIS IF THERE EXISTS ENOUGH TO GO AROUND BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST HOARDING IT THAT'S WHEN YOU KILL THOSE PEOPLE AND TAKE THEIR SHARE. KILLING HALF THE PEOPLE IS THE KIND OF FUCKING SOLUTION TO INEQUALITY THAT RICH PEOPLE COME UP WITH

GOD. ITS LIKE NONE OF YOU EVER READ

-you've got the big fucking boss in an ambush AND YOU ATTACK HIM WITH A MAGIC SWORD STEVEN STRANGE?????

THIS FRANCHISE HAS NO IDEA HOW TO UTILISE MAGIC USERS FUCKING HELL

- when will somebody please utilise ironman like the one man artillery he fucking is WHY IS HE FIGHTING WITH HIS STUPID FISTS HE IS LITERALLY ONE CONTINUOUS CARPET BOMB JUST USE HIM THAT WAY

cut of his arm CUT OFF HIS ARM YOU BLOODLESS SPINELESS USELESS FUCKING CUNTS . this is a manufactured crisis, KIND OF LIKE THE ONES THANOS LIKES I GUESS LOL

- dr strange could have very easily prevented or stopped quill from punching thanos but he didn't cos i guess even the movie forgets steven strange exists sometimes

- i like that the shield around wakanda has the same weakness as a poorly constructed chicken coop -- you always build into the ground a couple feet to stop the diggers man, come on, what is this, your first energy shield?

- oh disgusting, a girl boss moment. whatever you're all fascists.

- nobody adores martial might like fascists do fucking change my mind

- " avengers: not one person in this fucking cast is able to stomach ANY AMOUNT of personal sacrifice" more like

- "why did you give away the time stone?" "we are in the endgame" THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER THAT'S A FUCKING MOVIE TEASER FUCK YOU

- why didn't strange just trap thanos in a timeloop again? we've already established that is a perfectly acceptable way to deal with planetary annihilation. IS IT POSSIBLY BECAUSE NOBODY ON THIS WRITING STAFF KNOWS HOW TO DEAL WITH MAGIC

- THOR OP BLIZZARD PLS NERF

-CAPTAIN MARVEL SERIOUSLY THAT'S WHO YOU'RE GONNA SEND YOUR LAST PAGE TO JESUS FUCKING DISGUSTING

[sevensoulmates]

different anon here. I read that Ana will appear in season 4.. so I still think that although there was no development in their relationship this season does not mean that something does not happen between them in the next season

hi! yes idk if I've read it from an official source or if it was just from the actress posting (somewhat vaguely) about season 4 with the implication of coming back next season. I too also took it to mean she would be coming back in some capacity. Do I think they could somehow develop an off screen relationship between them during the gap? Yeah it's a possibility. I'm less convinced that will happen if "quarantine" is something they're going to explore during the time skip. Doesn't seem like a good time to develop a relationship if y'all literally can't be near each other because of quarantine, especially since Eddie would be considered an essential worker. To be honest, the last thing I want is a quarantine storyline (even during a gap) but it seems the show is going to address it in SOME way even minutely. Or if they don't start them off established in season 4 beginning, they might have her pop up again later which is fine. That's exactly what they did with Ali. I don't actually mind if they make Eddie enter into a relationship with her because ultimately I don't think it would last. I think it's going to be very difficult to insert Ana into an important role in the Diaz family given how much trust is needed to be built up to even get Ana anywhere near a good fit for the Diaz family. For Eddie especially. I think their second meeting solidifies that despite Eddie's first impression of her (dreamy, she's perfect and pretty) they wouldn't be the right fit for each other. And I think Eddie also wouldn't be a good partner for her either, even from the little we know about her. I think Eddie has some real issues he needs to work through and I don’t see him doing that in a healthy way with Ana. 

Ultimately I think we'll see Ana on a similar level to Lena Bosko. Someone Eddie latches onto to to fill a void he thinks he has (and a lop-sided relationship where it is mostly focused on Eddie rather than EddieAndAna as a unit). I think Eddie might try to fill the void of "mother" for Christopher, but ultimately come to find he's trying to fit a square into a circle and that he has all he needs in terms of completing his family and he doesn't need to give Chris a replacement "Mother", or him a replacement Shannon/wife.

one thing I've really come to like about this show is its focus on found families and also on non-nuclear families.

some examples:

-Athena and Michael divorce because he's gay but he is still an active member of the family who participates in raising the kids and has a good relationship with the mother of his kids

-Hen and Karen, a lesbian couple who adopt

-Step-father to Athena's kids Bobby, co-parent to them alongside Athena and Michael, and found father to Buck

-Chimneys family is his late best friend’s family, his half brother and now maddie, his girlfriend with whom they are having a baby while not being married (which is totally fine but definitely not within the nuclear family concept of love, marriage, kids in that order)

-bucks family being his sister, his found father, his team, and now his best friend and his son. Buck himself a surrogate father in his own right to Christopher

-Eddie as a single father raising his son with motor disabilities on his own, learning to accept help from the people around him to help raise his kid (and very pointedly NOT from his blood family) (I also firmly believe that if Shannon was still alive we could've seen an example of non married non romantic non living together co-parents raising a child similar to Athena/Michael).

This show does such a good job of presenting family in unique and beautiful ways and I feel like they should continue with that path. I would love to see Eddie's journey continue with him learning that what he may think society tells him is best for Christopher in terms of family, may not always be what he actually needs. Eddie is learning to be more open and emotionally vulnerable for Chris. A big part of his storyline seemed to be unlearning violence and shutting away feelings (examples of toxic masculinity) in order to be a better example for his son. Who's to say, someone like Buck who wears his emotions on his sleeve, who's nurturing by nature, who's gentle and non-aggressive, and who cares for others unconditionally (all descriptions we might normally desire in a typical "mother figure" character), wouldn't be a perfect parental foil for Eddie and be exactly the type of coparental figure that Christopher needs?

Anyway, long tangent aside, even with Ana coming back, we don't know how big a role she'll play. I think we could gain a lot from her character if she has a relationship with Eddie. I think it could be extremely revealing for both Eddie and Buck, and I wouldn’t mind seeing it.

[cosmicclownboy]

"Not that I don't mind our little bonding one to ones but may I ask why we are doing this again?" "So you know that my toxic masculinity bro days are over. Me and Rosa did a quiz today and turns out blue is my spirit colour so let's get to it, Manes". 

Excitedly clapping and inspecting the bottle with his fingers Kyle looks at peace so who is Alex to object to it. He can't say teen Alex expected this friendship to flourish again let alone be sitting in Kyle's apartment with a bottle of red painting Kyle's nails with a shade called Sultry Sapphire. But Alex knows more than anyone that adaptability is a huge part of life. Change is inevitable. And this is a change that he's glad for. It doesn't feel weird or out of place. It feels almost like he's slowly refinding everything he once lost. Jenga tournaments as kids turned into drinking games and poker and fishing turned into going to the same gym. Eventually, Isobel fishes out which gym and excitedly exclaims gym buddies. It's actually really fun even if he has to witness his training on her Instagram feed. Being in an alien exist clubhouse is difficult him and Kyle have pretty heavy-duty careers and having the most practical sense vs the people in said group who would prod a bear simply to see how it would react well their friendship blossomed. Finishing the last touches he goes for the wine in a latte mug.

"Right this will dry in a couple of minutes. Then it's my turn, Manes. I hope you're ready for iridescent fantasy 69". He almost groans at the choice in colour with swirls of blues, pinks and purples Alex is immediately taken to the pieces in Michael's bunker all shiny and beautiful. Judging by the smirk he gets the Ortecho Valenti sibling team-up happened behind the scenes. "Seriously where did Rosa get these from? there are two women on the front having sex" "Someone she met in rehab - don't ask"

"So....hows things in the dating universe?" "Forest and Liz signed me to Grindr without my permission.....and there's only so many times I can open up a message to see literal junk mail. I also went out on a date with a man who's fetish was sucking toes he seemed unnaturally interested in the prospect of banging a man with only the one foot. Four times. Four times I've been set up with someone with the oddest fetish". This seems to gage a reaction out of Kyle who rolls a little around the floor with a chuckle holding the brush from the nail polish close to his chest trying his best not to sour the rug. "Alex you've spent the last ten years fucking an alien. You have a rain fetish dude and don't even try it Liz told me about your rain scented angst candle sessions" Oh, he is going to have words with Liz. "Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I got pegged behind a target" Alex groans heavily.

Liz feigns ignorance when Alex corners her in the Crashdown and she, of course, tries to bat her eyelashes at him thinking it'd affect him. He's a man of stone. He will not be immediately forgiving by a kind smile.Nope.Not happening. It at least has to include a free hug and the first round of drinks which occurs a week later dressed in his tightest jeans and Kyle moping because Steph left had him. Liz and Kyle made it to Planet 7 a place Kyle thrives in. "Look it's glitter night Kyle you love glitter night the shots are half off".Liz is doing her best to brighten the mood despite her own romantic failings anytime the name Max is spoken she looks haunted. And hey who is he gonna judge he knows how easy it is to get an alien under your skin he's hitting 12 years in a month and he's wondering what it would be in anniversary terms. Google tells him it's silk he almost laughs at the idea of giving Michael any clothing in that fabric the man was rugged jeans and t-shirts. When his phone is stolen by Liz who pushes a shot in his direction he remembers why he's here. Have fun with his friends. Solidarity in suffering. The drinks flow easily to the booth he's had a pina colada some other fruity drinks and a bunch of shots. At first, he didn't feel anything, not even a buzz but after twenty minutes he feels sluggish and slow. Everything moving at a different rate then it did before. You should call Michael" Liz is shouting it off from the dancefloor of which she's tripped twice on and yet somehow she's beaming. Everything just kind of blurs together after that doesn't even realise he's on his bed until his hands are grasping the pillow. And faintly he feels a kiss on his head.

Drinking is a fun idea until the Hangover hits. He's starting to remember why he doesn't usually drink. His head is just throbbing he's trying his best to turn on soldier mode darting his eyes around trying to survey the room. Okay, the only clothes by the bed are his that's good. That's great one thing he doesn't have to worry about. There are a couple of pills on a plate by a glass of water with the box to show him what it is. And he's pretty sure there's a bin by the bed and end table... Someone took care of him. Who? He takes a very long shower water hits his skin until he feels anew or at least a little more bearable. It's only when he's drying off and hearing a faint hum of music that he remembers. Oh god.

"Guerin, it's me, Alex ... shoul-should of probably said Alex first how can you know it's me it's unspecific. Can you come home now my beds all big and fluffy and I want your fluffy hair in it.I miss your hair it's soft. Can you come save me Kyle keeps waving me over to dance with a drag queen and a stripper and I don't want to- "MIKEY WE'RE AT PLANET 7 COME DANCE WITH US" He really can't catch a break. "You know every minute you stay in there is a minute longer the pancakes get cold. And you should know I make a mean stack of chocolate chip pancakes"

He doesn't know what he's expecting when he first leaves his bedroom. He's nervous. After the song, he promised himself he would not make the first move. If Michael wants him he's going to have to say it in words to his face and communicate it to him. He's tired of metaphors and unspoken words. Trust drunk Alex to immediately ignore what he wants and skip right to the stroking Michael's hair part. Which yes he wants to do all the time. He finds Michael in the kitchen using a metal utensil as a mirror checking his teeth, his hair before straightening his shirt and patting his jeans down. He's nervous too. His heart stutters a little at the thought. Michael places the table settings and looks up with a small smile. "Hi" "Hi" He gestures to the table. "It's not much I had to run to the store you have the cupboard of an 18-year-old student" Even hungover and tired he can't fight the smile on his face. "Between my work hours and alien scooby sleuthing don't always have the time or energy" "I'm sor "If you apologise I will steal all your pancakes, Guerin" Despite his head throbbing and his leg killing him it's probably the best morning he'd had in a long time. A bird is flying past the window. His dog is sleeping soundly in his bed. The smell of flowers from the vase in the middle of the table is melding with the smell of warm chocolate. And if he dares a glance from his plate he sees the man he loves chewing on pancakes slowly with a small smile on his face. It's peaceful like something out of a movie.

"I don't know if you remember the voicemail you gave me you were pretty wasted. I gave all of you guys a ride home. Valenti threw up on my sneakers I uh was glad I wasn't wearing my good boots" Michael looks the most vulnerable he's seen him in years moving his fork around the pancake in front of him. He drops his fork and squeakily moves his chair closer and reaches for both his hands. "I'm so sorry for everything. This past year especially" Michael is trying his best to hold back his tears sniffing trying to get whatever words he wants to get out - out. "You know I've uh been seeing a therapist the last couple of months and she's great you know she calls me out on my victim complex crap and gives me all kinds of homework that sometimes bugs me but it's been helping. She asked me to write a list of things I wanted and at first, I couldn't do it for weeks I just stared at the page and couldn't I didn't think I deserved to write one. Eventually, I did. Can I read it to you?"

He squeezes his hands briefly before bringing his hands to his cheeks softly stroking in encouragement.

"Number 1, Don't be angry anymore it doesn't make you happy it hurts you and it's hurt the people that you love. Number 2, Spend more time with Max and Isobel as a family. Number 3, Remember you are loved and wanted by Isobel, Max, Sanders and Alex make sure to let them know that they are your family. Number 4, tell Alex that you stole his guitar on purpose that day you heard him play at work once and you just wanted to know him. Number 5, tell Alex that stealing his guitar and falling in love with him was the best thing that ever happened to me. You can read the rest if you want" The list is the closest thing to a love letter he's ever gotten off of Michael and everything he reads is everything he wants for Michael. He wants Michael to be happy to love himself to know he's wanted and love. Even seeing minor things like I want to hold Alex's hand makes him emotional. He wants all those things too. He wants a life with Michael. He wants Michael. And everything he reads and hears as Michael reads out the lines without the paper has his heart racing.

There no longer are metaphors in the air it's words pure and simple.

He supposes he should kiss Michael but he chooses a different kind of embrace one he wanted to do for a while he wraps Michael in a hug it's warm and tight he hopes he knows in this hug how much he loves him. And if he doesn't know he can say he'll say it every day until Michael understands it. "Want to watch a bad movie on the couch and cuddle?" Michael's grip on his shirt lessons and a muffled chuckle and a nod is conveyed against his chest. Armed with coffee and a bag of chips they make their way on the sofa. The question of big spoon is gone straight away when Michael makes grabby motions with his hands. His head is pressed into his chest and Alex feels at home and at peace. They flick through the channels. "Have you seen this one?" "Have I seen a film about a flesh-eating octopus fighting a giant shark? no, can't say I have". The movie is terrible as expected laughably so but the thing that makes it one of his favourites is Michael's anger towards the films plot. "So the giant shark was actually a robot designed by a bored rich kid who wanted to prod fish which caused the flesh-eating octopus to become feral and murder a bunch of people? They didn't explain anything about the flesh-eating octopus the whole plot doesn't make any sense" Rubbing his stomach in low circles and dotting a kiss to his collarbone he smirks at Michael's investment. "And another thing -mmph" He leans back. Michael's eyes are closed his lips are puckered he pouts when he realises he hasn't come back up to kiss him "You were saying?" "I'm shutting up now....hey come back up here and kiss me"

[amwritingmeta]

15x01: Belphegor, Spells and Symbology - Oh My!

So, my chickadees, we’re one TFW 2.0 member short. Yeah, such a bummer, right? The kid who’s so damnnn symbolic of change overall has bit the big one (courtesy of granddad) (like what?!) and is now in the big black Emptiness in the sky where all angels go when they bite it. (but what is the Empty symbolic of though?) (yessss indeed) (the unconscious where all self-liberation commences)

Okay, Jack be gone, but in his stead we now have this new kid on the block, yeah, and this new kid on the block is taking the place of the linchpin for Team Free Will’s push towards self-actualisation and it’s no wonder, then, that this new kid on the block is a speaker of truth! See what I’m getting at here?

Basically it’s just that Alexander Calvert - darling and dearling - is still playing a character pushing our boys towards Good Positive Change. Or so I believe. I mean, obviously we shall see, but the setup of Belphegor isn’t saying anything else. 

Oh, he can’t be trusted. Absolutely not. Night and day to Jack in that regard. Or, perhaps, I might go so far as to say that he’s Jack’s shadow manifested. *shrug* But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s Speaking Truths That No One Else Is Speaking. 

Man! Still not off the high from that episode, swear to God I would french Andrew Dabb in a heartbeat.

Okay, reeling it in.

So, three things -->

Thing the First: Truths

He calls Cas an abomination in that stupid, dumb trench coat. This goes to the very core of Cas’ internal struggle with his identity, so this calling out of it, threading back through Cas’ journey, feels weighty af. 

He speaks candidly of having worshipped a giant rock shaped like a penis as a human and is, unabashedly, checking out men and women alike (shouldn’t actually ascribe bisexual as his choice sexuality but he is clearly not straight), and then he subtly flirts with Dean, which skeeves Dean out since Jack was kinda his kid, so yeah, stop that immediately, Belphegor. (but hey if he jumps vessel then all bets are off) (just saying) 

*rubs hands together because oh my god I really want there to be textual flirtation that doesn’t go anywhere obviously because Belphegor is already picking up on the tension between two certain someones*

Belphegor also brings up Hell and Alastair and Dean breaking and torturing souls! Like what?!! The callbacks to end all callbacks. To the beginning of it ALL. Like, yeah, we’re in the final stretch here and Dabb is not kidding around.

And yes, Belphegor calls the moment Dean and Cas share at the end of the episode what it is, which is awkward, and then tries to prod Cas to talk about it. Albeit ironically (of course Cas won’t open up to him) he’s still doing it because he just doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him and this is precisely the sort of character these two need to poke and prod at their inability to fucking communicate openly.

Hot damn! 

But. We shall see what we get. :P

It’s interesting that he barely interacts with Sam. Sam is his own man this episode in very many ways and I very much like it. 

Thing the Second: Spells

Graveyard Dirt and Angel Blood

Naturally most of us, I’m sure, immediately thought of the “I’m always happy to bleed for the Winchesters” moment in S7. Here, Cas isn’t so happy. He’s suspicious, and rightly so, of this new player on the scene. Still, he complies.

Now, there are things to take from this scene that have to do with life vs death, mortality vs immortality or even Earth vs (or if you’d rather) combined with Heaven. 

Cas’ strong reaction to Belphegor defiling Jack and Belphegor predominantly having a personal interaction with Cas through calling out the trench coat (symbolic of duty/humanity and at this point that space Cas occupies between) puts the focus on them here. Add to that the need of angel blood and it’s even more heavily linked to Cas symbolically, right?

What exactly does the symbology mean? Honestly, beats me. It feels like a foreshadowing that won’t be clear to us until further down the line (hopefully), but it excites me to think that for a character who has battled for his entire progression with the question of where he belongs, we get a spell that literally combines dirt or earth with the blood of Heaven.

Does that mean that there’s a choice to be made - mortal man or immortal wavelength? - or does it mean that Cas is already a bit of both and just has to accept himself as he is and continue on wearing that stupid, dumb trench coat proudly, the same way he has for a good while now, eh? 

Well, that is the real question, isn’t it?

But then again, I’m a bit biased. :)

Mound of Salt and Human Heart

This one’s very interesting as it’s tied more directly to both Dean and Sam. Cas is a part of it too, as he’s with Sam when the spell is cast and they run for the safety of it together, but Sam is the one most affected by it, and I’m curious to see what effect it will have on Dean as well. 

Why?

Because what does salt mean on this show?

It means protection. The spell is, literally, a protection spell, right? A magic ring of salt a mile wide - no ghosts in and no ghosts out. For characters who have always been incredibly haunted by their past, though in subtext, the external hauntings are being salt-circled away from them, while the human heart of the spell could symbolise the brothers’ hearts actually entering a safe space as well.

Again, why?

Because of what Sam does the moment he passes the perimeters of the spell.

He turns around and he faces a fear that has been very pronounced on the show - his fear of clowns (or, as I’d argue, his fear of people wearing masks, not showing their true face) - and he tells that fear to shut up.

Mind. So. Blown.

What a moment for him! *goddamn fist-pumping the air for him*

The heart is at the centre here, and the heart symbology has always been extremely strong with Dean, but in 13x12 it was Sam’s heart on the line and now both of them are linked to the beating heart on that mound of salt linked to a sense of safety, of protection, of trust. The potential, peeps. The potential of a deeper exploration of what the want in their heart of hearts. Yeah? 

Not just in the coming few episodes within that mile wide magical ring of protective salt, because Lord knows how long that’ll last, but through the symbology of it. I mean, what a way to instil hope that this is what they’ll all be pushed to explore during the coming season. *fingers crossed*

Thing the Third: Motivation

Or possible motivation for Belphegor. 

Given his speech in the crypt about wanting Hell to stay as it always has, it’s intriguing that he’s an opposite mirror of Anael. She had a boring, repetitive job and she couldn’t wait to get out of Heaven. She chose to make a life for herself on Earth because she actually wanted to help people (if that statement sticks) (I’d love for her to come back this season and then all bets are off) while Belphegor wants to help the Winchesters restore Hell to its recent glories so that he can go back to punching that clock. And, you know, torturing souls.

Too simple?

Yeah, maybe. 

Of course he knows who the brothers are (love that there are newspapers in Hell) and this feels like a possible plant for him actually seeking them out specifically. Might not be, but it’s an interesting plant if so. Because of how Lucifer tried to make Nick resurrect him, for one, but also because of the Heaven/Hell dichotomy overall and who’s vying for what and who’s on the side of whom. *curious af*

Here we finally have a character who might have some personal stakes in driving a wedge between these men, and what better way to drive a wedge than to dredge out truths no one’s speaking, thinking it’ll break them apart when we know it’ll actually only serve to open their eyes to their own blindness and will end up making them stronger, individually and, through that, as a group.

*gah*

Could Belphegor not be Belphegor? 

Yeah, but I don’t see why he would be. 

I think he’s Belphegor the demon, but his stated motivations might just be a half-truth. Perhaps he’s even linked to Michael. darkest!Michael would be something tbh. After all, Michael was always, even if God held the ultimate reins, the shadow along the edges of the brothers’ fate. And after a few lifetimes in that cage, I do wonder exactly what might emerge. *goosebumps* 

That said, Michael is a pale representative for toxic masculinity when the Almighty himself has stepped into those shoes, so symbolically it might be more fitting that we get something entirely different. Time will tell!

[dietraumerei]

On Good Omens, and love

...well I keep wanting to write a kind of year-end wrap-up and meditation on finding Good Omens and how it’s transformed my heart and my relationship to fanfiction and why and how I write fanfic, but I don’t know if it’s coming? We’ll find out together.

I posted my first GO fic on July 14th, and counting today’s updates to Advent, I’ve, uh, posted 201,327 words. 17 fics. Honestly, I don’t know how you all put up with me, reading that over. That is half a year of output. No wonder I feel sort of like I’ve eaten too many sweeties. By comparison, in 2018 I wrote 74,753 words. (2016 was the last time I hit > 100k words in a year, I think. Because of how AO3 totals word counts, that might be a little fuzzy.)

So it’s obvious that this story chimes with something in me. That Aziraphale, especially, chimes with something in me. But also, I can’t help but contrast Good Omens to Marvel, which ended(ish) with a very damp splat. With a clear signal that for all their money, they didn’t really care about these stories, not anymore, if they ever had. I wrote about this some a few months ago and it’s still with me. I know fandom and fanfic can definitely exist to fill in the cracks and make meaning out of something that’s a blatant cash grab. I mean, I took a lot of joy out of subverting toxic masculinity and body image and things like that. But I think it says a huge amount that I was writing almost exclusively AU’s, especially in the last few years.

So I don’t want to say that fanworks that fix a story are bad, because they aren’t. They’re powerful and beautiful, but I feel like...Good Omens is special, because the love pours out of it. Like Aziraphale and Tadfield, you can feel it. Michael and David are so careful with their characters, because they love them and know we love them. Neil made this story because Terry wanted him to, and there is so much of that love -- for the story, but also for Terry -- in this. Douglas wanted to make a beautiful story that everyone would love, and tell this story with affection. It is transformative, to work within a framework that is valued and loved, where everyone wanted to tell the story of an angel and a demon who are best friends, and who sort of save the world, kind of? Well, they have something to do with it. And the angel changes who he is and how he sees the world in a beautiful, sad, wonderful journey. And the demon helps him. (And, also, they are played by men facing down middle age and neither the angel nor the demon actually have a gender or a sexuality although Aziraphale is pretty much culturally gay and is fucking proud of it.)

So the story chimed with something in my heart, and was a thing I needed this year. That’s wonderful, but isn’t different; I find the stories I need over time. But what I hope means that this will stay my story is that -- it was made with so much love. And the fandom feels that love and responds to it and we feed each other with joy, and the tree keeps dreaming itself.

(And also, while we’re here, I did not plan on getting this...ace-lesbian-parasocial-whatever-it-is crush on Michael Sheen, but HERE WE ARE. I couldn’t have picked a better person, at least. It has been a delight, let me tell you.)

[a-man-for-hire-and-his-archives]

HEATHER GRAHAM SENDS UP HOLLYWOOD’S TOXIC MASCULINITY IN HER DIRECTORIAL DEBUT

written by: Jacob Oller

Heather Graham has been a mainstay in both indies and comedies since License to Drive and Drugstore Cowboy in the late ‘80s. Her performances, especially her lauded turn as Rollergirl in Boogie Nights [1997], were often sex-positive and presented with an agency and enthusiasm rare from others cast in similar roles.

Her intense fascination with sexuality is as deeply felt in her performances as the roles themselves—as sex workers or other objects of the male gaze—position her for a thoughtlessness stereotypical in the film industry. Reclaiming these roles and using her position as a decades-long sex symbol, Graham has written and directed her first movie, Half Magic.

Half Magic, a romantic comedy about sexism in the film industry (and the world at large), focuses on women sick of being mistreated by men, leaving Graham’s character Honey to negotiate her position in Hollywood and her relationships to men and sex. Honey, along with friends played by Stephanie Beatriz and Angela Kinsey, tackle their love lives, their friendships, and sexually harassing bosses with a bit of witchery a la The Craft [1996]—only their magic is mostly hope and good intentions.

This is all perfectly positioned in the wake of the #MeToo movement disrupting the predatory status quo of the entertainment world. When I sat down with Graham to discuss her directorial debut, she was eager to talk about the shifting ideals of the film world.

JACOB OLLER: I know you’ve been shopping this script around since 2014, so this has been on your mind a while—how was the experience getting this to the public?

HEATHER GRAHAM: It was hard getting the financing. We have a friend named Michael Nickles, who’s a producer on the movie, and I was writing the script during a breakup. I wanted to find a way to laugh at all the things in life that had really upset me, and Michael said “You should direct this.” He helped me find these financiers and we went into pre-production, then they told us they didn’t have the rest of the money. We had to shut down the film and it was devastating. So stressful. Then I met Bill Sheinberg who told me “if you get the rights back and all your legal stuff is kosher, I’ll make the movie.” We had to get this quitclaim [deed], we got the rights back, and finally we made the movie. It was a long road and, luckily, it’s coming out at a time when people are open to the subject matter in a way they’ve never been before.

OLLER: It really feels like Chris D’Elia’s film executive character in the film grew out of these Harvey Weinstein allegations, but you had this written years ago.

GRAHAM: Of course guys have been acting this way for a long time. Finally America decided “this isn’t cool anymore.” Hopefully that makes people more open to my story, which is about sexism, sexual harassment, and all that specifically in the entertainment business.

OLLER: As someone switching to a new side of the business, I know you’ve said that as an actor playing a part, it’s your job to be on your character’s side, so you have to see it all from that perspective—how does that job change when you’re also the director?

GRAHAM: An actor could be playing a person who’s crazy or a person who’s mean, a person whose point of view you don’t agree with but have to find their point of view. When you make a movie you can tell a story from your own perspective and tell the story you want to tell. I wanted to inspire and empower women, and men too, by opening up a conversation about sexism, relationships, and sexuality. I think women in our culture are presented with a mixed message. On one hand we’re told “your looks are the most important thing and you have to look sexy” while we’re also told “don’t be too sexy or we’re gonna judge you harshly.”

OLLER: One of my favorite lines from the film is during a script discussion where your character says “I like sluts, why do they all have to die?” which is a funny way of summarizing these sex-positive values.

GRAHAM: I did want to be sex-positive because our culture is sexist. If you see a male hero and he’s James Bond and having sex with all these people, everyone thinks he’s so cool. If you watch, for example, a horror film, and you see a girl that has sex with a guy, you know she’s gonna die. In film and in life, women are punished for things that men are celebrated for.

OLLER: In terms of your direction, did you try to subvert this?

GRAHAM: I mean I made the women the protagonists. Most movies have men protagonists with women as the objects. Mine has female protagonists and men that are…maybe “objects” is the wrong word..

OLLER: I think there’s definitely some fun objectification done with something like Luke Arnold’s dancing, especially since the way you film sex scenes and physical comedy feels very linked.

GRAHAM: I’m glad you said that because his whole character actually happened to me. I met this guy who, I didn’t realize it at the time, but he was doing a lot of drugs. He was all “I make up my own exercises” and stuff, but he was so cute! So later I thought “that’s kind of crazy” but he was so handsome I let it slide. I was definitely making fun of not seeing red flags. A guy that breaks up with you by telling you he wants to go climb a mountain but he really wants to go do drugs? At the time it was devastating, but in retrospect it’s so obvious.

OLLER: Wait, the mountain stuff is real?

GRAHAM: Everything in that breakup scene is real. Everything the guy says to her is real. “I have wars to fight, I have mountains to climb…” Someone actually said that to me.

OLLER: Were any other lines from the script taken from your life?

GRAHAM: A lot. When she’s at work and her boss tells her “If you want to get a movie made, write about a man. Nobody cares about women stories.” I was developing stories for years that I wanted to act in and produce, and a lot of people would tell me that exact thing.

OLLER: Wow.

GRAHAM: For anyone outside the industry it sounds crazy, right? The hardest part of doing this movie was getting someone to give me the money. People are scared to take a chance [on a female filmmaker].

OLLER: Do you think that will change in the wake of the #MeToo movement?

GRAHAM: Hopefully. I think people want to be on the right side of this issue, so they’re doing some affirmative action. But if you look at the percentages of women directing film, it’s still around 7 percent.

OLLER: Does establishing a directorial foothold with Half Magic mean you’ll be pursuing more in the future?

GRAHAM: I’m working on two stories right now, one called Chosen Family about a woman’s dysfunctional family and how it repeats itself in her romantic relationships, and another one about cancer. They say they want to cure cancer but it’s such a big business that…do they really want to cure it? That’s the idea, anyways [laughs].

OLLER: Changing directions after that, when you direct the sex scenes you also star in, you use this really interesting superimposed shot of you and a sort of mystical outer space. Where did that idea come from?

GRAHAM: I put that in because I experienced something that felt like that. I grew up religious and was told I would go to Hell for having premarital sex. So I was having sex at one point and had this spiritual moment where I felt like the universe was telling me that sex is a beautiful, divine thing. Feel good about it! For the movie I went, “how do I express this?” So I figured, I’ll just do what I saw. This starry sky and this voice that talked to me. I actually got my yoga teacher to do the voice in the film. It’s a trippy part in a comedy movie, but it’s my personal experience around sexuality.

OLLER: Did any of that come from your interest in transcendental meditation? I heard you got into that after working with David Lynch.

GRAHAM: So I was in the original Twin Peaks when I met David and David’s really into it. He’d meditate every day at lunch. I was like 20, which is a hard age when you’ve left your parents and want to become your own person. I definitely had a bit of angst and talked to him about that. He said I should really try meditating and I figured, what do I have to lose? I’ve been doing it ever since then. It helped me break a lot of bad habits, like I used to eat a ton of junk food. 

- Interview Magazine

[mswyrr]

michael and the heroine’s journey

So, caveat that I am by no means an expert in this; this is just my happy procrastination from things I should be doing lol. But I think there’s something neat in Micheal’s story that fits with “the heroine’s journey.” It’s an idea framed in Maureen Murdock’s book of the same title. The book was first published in 1990, which means it’s a product of the 1980s. And it bears the marks of that; it’s also intended to be a very psychological and personal account of her experiences in her own growth and as a therapist.

But what she does which is really useful is articulate a vision of internal conflict from women’s lives in patriarchy that is applicable to a heroine - that is, that success/achievement is articulated in masculine terms, so women (and men and nonbinary/genderqueer/agender people, I’d add in) are encouraged to shunt aside and suppress their feminine qualities and empower their masculine qualities as the most important things.

The heroine’s journey can apply to someone of any gender, since the idea that achievement requires you to lean into only the sides of yourself that fit with what culture defines as the “masculine” is something everyone is pushed into. See: toxic masculinity, the whole thing where we’re killing our only biosphere, the “patriarchy hurts men too” thing and the complex ways people who express femininity are mistreated, exploited, and disdained.

However, specific to a heroine, it’s about having to confront and cope with your own feminine (both the dark and light sides of it) and incorporate it, rather than rejecting it.

I think that it works really well for Michael because, despite the Federation being gender egalitarian, she was raised with a human mother and Vulcan father. In this way the disdain for emotion/intuition/etc becomes about the species of her mother rather than about gender. She’s raised desperately trying to cut off half of her heart in order to please her father and achieve on his rigidly logical/masculine readable terms.

She confronts and relates to the positive feminine in Prime!Philippa and Amanda (And Tilly and Ash to an extent) and to the dark/negative feminine in Mu!Philippa - who represents how dangerous and attachment and feeling can be. How much the desire to create and nourish your people naturally comes along with the power/desire to destroy.

Michael reaching a failure point at the start of S1, where her Vulcan/father values lead her to despair and failure, and then having to climb her way out definitely fits with the Illusion of Success turning into The Descent part of the pattern:

They’re not following it precisely; it’s not the sort of thing that’s supposed to be followed precisely and they’re doing a multi-season version of it. But I definitely think this sort of thing is influencing their thinking. And, as I rambled about here, I think that’s why Mu!Philippa is so important: Michael has accepted that she has a right to her feelings, she’s reconciled with Amanda at the end of S1, demanded respect for that for her father (and for him to recognize her as his daughter on her own terms), but she’s still figuring out the dark sides of her feelings and what to do with them.

IMO this ties into Spock - he was “her little shadow.” When someone relies on you/is one of your people that gives you the power to protect, but it also gives you the power to destroy. You cannot have one without the other: if you desire people to be yours, you also desire to have the power to destroy them. (And wanting to protect the people you love means wanting to destroy those who would threaten them - even if you control it well, it’s *there*. This is something Mu!Philippa senses in Michael and loves.) Even if you would never want to use it, it is a necessary byproduct of your wish to be someone others rely upon. And you might use it by accident.

All of this is why I have the suspicion that Mu!Philippa is going to offer Michael some kind of temptation - well, all of this plus the blatant snake/apple imagery lol. And why I think Spock’s pov on what Michael did is going to be very important once we meet up with him.

My suspicion is that Michael has overblown/pathologized her own negative impact on Spock because she fears the dark side of her own desire to possess/protect other people.

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

Wonky preliminary thoughts

I watched the episode once this morning then I’ve been various degrees of busy and sickly so the episode is sort of nebulous in my mind but I want to throw down the thoughts I remember thinking this morning... on a second watch I could change my mind. Honestly I don’t even know yet what this post is going to be like. I’m gonna make it up as I go. Let’s find out together.

- It’s a finale baby

Okay I haven’t touched my dash but I know my chickens and I know there’s gonna be wank, because people forget that every year when the finale comes out no one likes it. That’s it, that’s the finale, expectations are high because finales are supposed to be epic so people end up disappointed, some things were predicted 8 weeks prior and people complain that they were too obvious, some things were unexpected and people complain they came out of the blue, some people say Cas wasn’t in it enough some people write down explanations why his part was actually meaningful, you know the drill. This has been a typical finale: Dean makes The Sacrificial Decision (having Death kill him, become the soul bomb...) and things don’t just work the way he expected them to (sometimes positively like with Amara, sometimes negatively like with Michael).

I personally expected Dean to let Michael (although until recently I supposed it could be the original version of him) in since 13x15 (the showrunner’s own meta manifesto relatively to the ‘reverse season 5/reverse Swan Song’ nature of the final part of the season) and that it would be about shouldering himself the task of getting Lucifer killed since 13x20 (where he goes after Loki himself and is not enthusiastic about Sam’s revenge intents against Lucifer), and heck the ‘I let you in but you provide the power but I’m behind the wheel’ kind of speech was something I pictured in a thousand scenarios, so I didn’t get any shocks from that part of the episode’s plot, but I still enjoyed how we got there. And then, Lucifer is dead! *celebration noise coming from the fandom*

- Um okay let’s say you did your best

Okay, the impression I got from my first watch: the script worked, but the episode got wonky in its execution. Not even the special effects (insert a wonky gold star for the trying) but I remember being unimpressed by the sound/music? Is it just me? Like, sometimes the sound choices were too over the top? There were also overdramatic zooms but that’s Supernatural, and Supernatural without overdramatic zooms is like Supernatural without the Winchesters.

I liked the recap montage a lot (what do you think came first, Rowena’s line about the music or the idea of having that line inside the season to use it for the finale recap?). I got a bit sad because there was a lot of Wayward Sisters in it, and it would have been better if the finale came in a moment of celebration for it happening rather than anger and bitterness for the CW’s choices. Something I felt missing from the last portion of the season was Jody, but I was obviously okay with it because she was missing in preparation of her role in the spin-off. If we can’t change the network’s decision, I hope next season is packed with those characters.

Anyway, back to the episode - it was weird at times, you all know what times, let’s just run with it and make jokes.

- But in season 5 they said--

No, the act itself of Michael killing Lucifer wasn’t what was going to kill half the planet’s population. It was that act inside the large picture of that spell-like orchestration that was the apocalypse (seals, horsemen, omens, stuff like that). I would argue the large-scale damage that was expected wasn’t an accidental consequence, but kind of the whole point of the apocalypse. I hate myself for bringing it up, but you know Thanos killing half the people to ~save the universe~ or whatever dangerously ambiguous nazi crap that dumbasses have actually fallen for because Marvel is just that bad and dangerously ambiguously conservative? I think that the archangels kind of were similar to that mindset, making a huge sacrifice of humans to bring ~paradise~ because they were tired or whatever. You know, I know some people don’t think Supernatural is particularly progressive, but in the current media climate not framing the mass-murderous, abusive characters with nazi-coded intents as the actual heroes is apparently too progressive for some, so kudos to Supernatural for not making Lucifer or Michael the hero of the story but to stick to common sense and decency. (I know, this part is not about Supernatural but just me being salty at Marvel, but let me, please.)

- So while we’re talking about this...

I can say that what Supernatural did with Lucifer in season 13, in my opinion, has been really good. I’ve never been afraid they were going to ‘redeem’ him, so I wasn’t worried or bothered by the story throwing the tools of redemption at him. Because not only he didn’t pick them up, he couldn’t see them even if they hit him in the face. He didn’t understand what redemption even means. He kept seeing himself as the misunderstood victim, so instead of bettering himself he just felt sorry for himself, and completely missed the point of a ‘second chance’ or whatever he claimed he was after. So, eventually, it was all a lie. I think Lucifer’s “I’ve changed” attitude was partly a schemed lie (because he’s not that clueless), partly something he was convinced of himself, because he has his head up his ass enough to actually believe he was a poor victim. I think this narrative hits the nail on the head - white male fragility works like that, the men wrapped in toxic masculinity and male entitlement think they’re the victims of a big bad oppression from women and queer people and non-white people. But they’re just pathetic, and when the bubble bursts, all they can do is scream in rage and their ‘nice guy’ persona disappears. Lucifer’s 180° change of attitude towards Jack reminded me of the nice guys who start throwing all sorts of disgusting invectives against women after being rejected. So yeah, I think that Lucifer’s arc this season was sort of relevant, if you want to interpret it like this.

Either way, Supernatural, unlike some other pieces of media, doesn’t actually try to make you sympathize with abusive, violent, misogynistic men (unless they actually show to be self-aware and to seek change, and again you aren’t meant to sympathize with their bad side! Toxic masculinity is supposed to be bad, and slaughtering billions of innocents not justified for any reason, and especially does not make you the hero and the ones fighting to save the people the actual villains! *gasp*). There was even a clear dig at Trump, and I am pretty sure that’s Dabb’s answer to accusations of not being clear enough on the subject...

So yeah, I think this season’s big bad was an allegory for white male entitlement and the ‘nice guy’ victim complex, and Dean stabbed him (I’d say with the help of a Black man, sure it’s actually Michael another villain but momentary symbolism, I guess? Or maybe that just isn’t supposed to be relevant.) I felt someone cheer that was still bitter that Sam killed Alastair. You just know someone out there was still bitter about it. I mean it was teamwork, of course, but Dean provided the power and the stab. Oh, Dean letting Michael in to acquire the power to kill Lucifer (who killed Cas and Sam) as a parallel for Sam’s demon blood usage to acquire the power to kill Lilith (who killed Dean) *insert lengthy reflection here*

- Speaking of parallels--

Someone was irked at the apparent belief across fandom that Dean leaving Sam to the vampires in the cave was ~the codepencency being broken~? (I am not a fan of analyzing the show in these terms that have become so simplified, in case you’re wondering.) And of course now we see that that wasn’t so simple, because Dean makes the same face when Sam disappears with Lucifer and Jack, and Cas tries to stop him, but Dean decides to do the sacrificial decision (did he really expect Michael to keep the deal, really really?). But! (I wasn’t saying that things are still stuck in the 10x23 mud puddle, don’t misunderstand me!) This time it’s not just about Sam, it’s about Lucifer being set on really breaking dad’s toys on a large scale this time. Dean Winchester gives up his humanity to save humanity, because that’s his middle name, and not just to save his brother at the cost of harming the universe. Of course Michael is still on the loose and with a stronger vessel now, but hey, one threat at a time... But I also think there’s something significant with the fact that the last sequence of the episode shows Michael on earth, looking in his element and satisfied about it - to stop Lucifer, Sam, with Lucifer inside, went to hell; to stop Lucifer, Dean, with Michael inside... is on earth. Of course, next season he’ll probably be involved with heaven and whatnot, but I think there’s something significant there, but I’d wait to make much meta about Michael-in-Dean when we actually are shown more about it.

- So, overall?

Overall it was a good finale! Satisfying to have Jack discover Lucifer’s true nature and the nice guy lie shatter, emotional the Jack stuff, powerful that we didn’t see Dean actually getting possessed and Cas seeing it but only Cas being fraught about it, just there, kind of like the narrative was telling us, what do you even expect Cas’ face while losing Dean to Michael to look like? Now, this post is long enough and I’ll need a rewatch and some health points more to analyze the details, but I am sure that I’m going to enjoy analyzing them.

- And what now?

Oh, I expect a lot of fanworks of Charlie and Rowena during the hiatus. It’s probably already started...

Alright, more coherent and hopefully meaningful thoughts coming shortly (...maybe) to your screens ^-^

[hufflepuff-ravenclaw-reviews]

Review of Wynonna Earp Season 1

I've been aware of Wynonna Earp for a while now, but it had never really crossed my mind to watch it. That is, until somebody told me that Michael Eklund was in it.

...Don't pretend like half of my reviews on here aren't because of some hot actor.

Anyway, the premise of the show is thus: back in the day, there was a man of Wyatt Earp. (Look him up, kiddos. Does the O.K. Corral ring any bells?) Well the thing that often gets left out of history is that those who walked away from the shoot-out... went on to lead exciting lives. (No, seriously. All of their stories are really interesting, and if you love western documentaries, I'd recommend looking it up. There's no need for any of that Hollywood bullshit... Their lives were so fucking wild.)

But anyway, somewhere along the way, Wyatt Earp was cursed. And this curse carried on to his children, his grandchildren... And you guessed it. Wynonna Earp is Wyatt's something-great granddaughter.

When Wyatt was still alive, he killed all of these people. As one does when you're a sheriff living in the “wild west”. However, the curse causes all of the people he killed to come back to life. And they can only be killed with his gun, Peacemaker, which has some sort of... carvings all over it. It is the only thing that can send the revenants back to hell... where they will remain until the next Earp heir shows up in a generation.

Now, because this is a TV show and we can't have a young woman with just a normal upbringing: here comes the childhood trauma! Wynonna wasn't the original heir; she was originally the middle of three daughters. But when she was a child, the revenants kidnapped and murdered her older sister, Willa, and tried to take off with their father. In her panic, Wynonna grabbed Peacemaker in order to shoot the revenants who were trying to take her father... and shot her father.

As you might imagine, this was the turning point in her life. Nobody took her seriously, and constantly treated her like a criminal. And, since she was being treated so poorly, Wynonna herself started to act like one, too.

The series starts with Wynonna returning to Purgatory, where the entire show takes place. It's where she grew up... but eventually left. She's forced to retrieve Peacemaker from where she dropped it down an old, dry well... But upon doing so, accidentally releases somebody else who was also stuck at the bottom of the well: Doc Holliday. Yes, that Doc Holliday.

He was made immortal by a witch when he was sick and dying. Because... You know what? In a world that's plague by undead demons, why not immortal Doc Holliday?

Wynonna is quickly scooped up by a man who's in town to try and rid the world of the revenants, from a secret government organization called Black Badge. She's then deputized... Much to everybody's displeasure. However, Xavier Dolls is pretty much the only one who's been solidly on Wynonna's side... If only because she's the only one who can use Peacemaker.

Almost right off the bat, there's a lot of sexual tension between Xavier and Wynonna. But also between Wynonna and Doc. Things finally come to a head when Doc convinces Wynonna to sleep with him... and again. And a few more times for good measure. However, Doc constantly feels like he's blowing in the wind when it comes to Wynonna, especially since anybody with eyes can see that Wynonna clearly has feelings for Xavier.

Oh, but the love triangle between them isn't even the best romance. (Well, who actually likes love triangles anyway?) There is a lesbian relationship.

I REPEAT, THERE IS A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP.

Waverly, Wynonna's younger sister, catches the eye of a new officer in town, Nicole Haught (pronounced like “Hot”). However, even though Waverly is a little bit interested, she also has a boyfriend. Until she doesn't, because let's face it: he's a small town loser who was lucky to have a catch like Waverly.

But after Waverly finally tells him to get lost, she and Nicole are suddenly very hot and heavy. Probably a lot of repressed sexual urges in a narrow-minded small town.

Anyway, the first half of the season was a pretty standard “baddie of the day” set up. There would be a revenant that needed to be killed... Waverly would provide Xavier and Wynonna background on the guy that she'd uncovered over the years. Xavier and Wynonna (sometimes joined by Doc) would go out and put a stop to whatever nonsense was happening.

And while it was good, and a refreshing twist on a show like Supernatural that was a total sausage fest... It did start to drag a little bit.

Up until the point where Wynonna and Xavier stumbled across a cult in the middle of the forest and discovered that Willa was still alive!

The revenants hadn't actually killed her, as it turned out. They'd only just used the witch who'd given Doc his immortality to erase Willa's memories, and put her in the cult for safe keeping. Willa at first didn't remember much, but then, she started to remember more and more.

And both Wynonna and Waverly were happy to have their sister back. But as time went on, Waverly was clearly more than a little uneasy about the entire thing. And Wynonna started to get a little uneasy when it was clear that she was no longer the heir, and Peacemaker stopped working for her.

However, things finally came to a head when the head of the revenants, a man named Bobo Del Ray (Real name of Robert Svane) reveals his hand: it was he who led Willa away all those years ago, he was the one who stopped the revnants from killing Willa, and he was the one who arranged for her memory to be erased.

Why you ask? Because of some prophesy where the “lead” would take the revenants out of Purgatory. The lead is the Earp heir, and it has to be done willingly. So... he basically groomed a thirteen year old so that she would do this for him.

Only, when it came down to the time, Willa was more than willing to leave Bobo behind, if only to destroy the rest of the town. However, the end of the world that was predicted ended up being some sort of... tentacle snake thing? It's straight out of some horror movie. Wynonna ended up killing her own sister in order to save her. That can't possibly be good for her already fragile ego.

The entire season, there was a build up of a secondary evil: Black Badge. Oh, but don't worry. Our boy Xavier isn't actually evil himself. He is, however, some sort of weird... werewolf-y thing? He takes medication to suppress the transformation, however, Black Badge cut him off, so he starts to go through withdrawls and such until he got his hands on more.

But, his bosses also don't believe him about the “demons”, and they want proof... But not that kind of proof. Basically, the lady who's in charge hates Xavier for vague yet menacing reasons that seem less to do with Xavier and more because she has anger issues at something that sounds like it was out of everybody's control.

And while Black Badge was building up, I felt like things really came to a head with them at the very end of the last episode, only to be left dangling as what will likely be an important plot point in season two.

Overall, if you enjoy Supernatural, but wish that there was less toxic masculinity and more girl power (or just regular female characters, full stop), then Wynonna Earp is the exact show for you. I know that I'm probably going to start season two as soon as I can.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #173: Threshold of Oblivion!

July, 1978

What the heck is up with Hercules’ shoes.

Oh also I guess Yellowjacket, Black Widow and Hercules are going to get kirby krackled? Maybe to death but considering the recent trend, its more likely that they’re going to get disappeared.

And though he has vanished, stern Vision is still with us in our hearts and also in the logo and in a picture in the background.

So last time: quite a bit of things. We’re in the middle of a saga so plot points are piling up. The Avengers met up with the future raccoon-less Guardians of the Galaxy who were afraid a cyborg named Korvac was going to kill Vance Astro when he was just a kid. So they’ve set up shop watching him. Meanwhile, Korvac has far grander plans like marrying a supermodel and chilling in short shorts in Forest Hills. He still killed but then resurrected Starhawk when the one who knows found him.

The Avengers have also been dealing with some disappearances. At first it was just people nobody would miss like Two-Gun Kid and Quicksilver but then beloved characters like Vision, Captain America, and Jocasta have vanished as well.

On top of all that nonsense Peter Henry Gyrich has taken away the Avengers priority status with the US government because of their shitty security. When it rains, it pours. And then it floods because you have consistently failed to plan for flooding in one-hundred and seventy-two issues of precipitation. Which is to say that in a large way the Avengers brought this on themselves and needed this kick in the ass.

But the most immediate threat is the vanishing Avengers so that’s where we start. With Iron Man assembling the best of the what’s left to try to figure this out.

And by best I mean the Whizzer, Captain Marvel, and Black Panther. Two out of three ain’t bad.

But more help is on the way. Black Widow and Hercules arrive in New York via commercial airline (did they not repair the Champscraft after Iron Man broke it?). Black Widow and Hercules are Avengers adjacent characters so were called in by Yellowjacket and the Wasp.

Hercules is being an ass, flirting with a crowd of admiring women instead of disembarking, so Black Widow demonstrates the leadership skills that put her in charge despite being the non-powered person on a team with Hercules, Ghost Rider, Angel, and Iceman.

She shoots Hercules in the head.

That’s her leadership style.

Hercules then shows why he’s not in charge of anything when he tears through the plane rather than go around the terminal and then smashes a helicopter when the pilot refuses to give them a ride since the Avengers priority status has been revoked.

That pilot is now destitute and will starve in the streets without his livelihood.

Anyway.

Hercules and Black Widow arrive at Avengers Mansion and join Iron Man’s round table from the opening splash page.

Iron Man still has no clue what technology might be behind the disappearances so he decides to work with SHIELD scientists to figure it- oh, nope.

Avengers are no longer authorized to contact SHIELD.

So Iron Man decides to do something perhaps a little sketchy and go over SHIELD’s head and contact Nick Fury directly using super secret emergency frequencies that he knows as Tony Stark.

But Nick Fury isn’t any help either (and Tony Stark is probably going to get an angry call in his future for sharing the frequencies (with himself)).

Nick Fury: “I don’t know how ya wormed this frequency outta Stark, Shellhead -- but it won’t do ya any good! As long as Agent Gyrich considers the Avengers a security risk, SHIELD is severin’ all ties! Nick Fury -- out!”

Dang.

Even Nick Fury won’t help them. And he’s as amoral and screw the rules as you can reasonably expect from the boss of an international spy organization. And this whole saga started off with them saving his satellite from a bigger satellite that was no threat to it.

No gratitude.

Anyway, in Forest Hills, Korvac spies on the Avengers.

Perhaps he’s bored.

Or rather, its part of an overall observation to make sure nobody is onto him, as he tells Carina when she comes in to offer him some cocoa.

And by the way, he turns her down. HE CAN JUST MANIFEST COCOA FROM NOTHINGNESS so screw your kind offer.

Kind of rude, Korvac.

Anyway, he also spies on the Guardians of the Galaxy, showing Karina through a kirby krackle viewing hole that they’re fully invested in guarding young Vance Astrovik with no thought to any other possible course of action.

Korvac: “And none even suspect that they are acting on my will, as one of the myriad adjustments I must make in the cosmos to prepare it for my... proprietorship!”

I also want to note that its an incredibly bad idea for Nikki Gold to hide in a tree. Her hair is made of fire and trees are flammable.

But back to spying.

There are others that Korvac must spy on who are slighly less oblivious than the Avengers and Guardians so Korvac tells Carina to gtfo because he needs all his manly concentration and with none of her womanly distractions. Presumably.

So she leaves to go to her bedroom and cries because of Korvac’s cold indifference. Or perhaps because she’s secretly a spy and must now betray Korvac’s trust.

But as she goes to do... something? all with the crackling of energies, she stops.

Carina: “No! I - I can’t do it! I can’t! Michael may be mad to think he’s a god, that he’s the rightful owner of the universe! But father help me -- i’m starting to believe him!”

It is perhaps my more modern sensibilities that has a problem with this. Korvac and Carina’s relationship has been almost entirely off-panel and in suggestion. One of the few times we’ve seen them relaxing together and he’s callously dismissive of her presence and her cocoa offer.

And yet their relationship and love for one another is a key facet of events going forward. So we have to take it on faith that these two love each other enough to motivate actions to come.

Even though Korvac is a typical example of emotionally unavailable take take take no give toxic masculinity.

So for this among other reasons, I will disagree with Korvac that he’s the rightful owner of the universe.

Mankind ills needs a savior such as him.

Anyway. I’m venting, somewhat. Hopefully this will make more sense to you later.

So. Korvac.

Using his PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER he reaches out and watches the unbeknowst Watcher, peeps on Odin and Zeus, and spies on Mephisto’s brunch.

And satisfied that those great powers remain unaware of his schemey plans, he checks on Eternity. The big space weirdo that is actually the entire universe. Because comics are weird and so are Stan Lee and Steve Ditko.

Korvac: “It is good! None yet guess that I even exist! But there still remains the most important entity to be observed! The celestial vastness of -- ETERNITY HIMSELF! Eternity! He who is the universe personified... within whom all the stuff of this reality exists. He’s so confident, so serene in his omnipotence! He would pay little heed to a mote such as I, even had I not shielded myself from his sight! But one day -- one day soon -- I will take what is rightfully mine!”

Korvac, you’re such an anime villain in so many ways. Scheming to usurp the universe and all...

However, with his senses outstretched or however you describe senses - like trying to hear harder? Senses are weird - Korvac feels something. A ripple in the cosmic fabric.

Coming from disturbingly nearby.

And he marches to Carina’s bedroom, slams the door open, and confronts her over her treachery.

But as he’s physically manhandling her, he looks into her eyes and sees only love.

Remember: this is a love story.

Of sorts.

Anyway, back to the titular characters and their problems.

Captain Marvel flies off from Avengers Mansion to scour the world with his cosmic senses.

And since there’s nothing that Black Widow and Hercules can actually do at the moment (not even using her spy connections? Geez, Natasha. Geez), they go off to get their luggage from the airport.

On their way to the airport, Natasha and Hercules have Real Talk which is probably more relevant to the Champions book.

Basically Hercules says that since mortals live only a wink in the eye of a god “‘tis of little import how long one lives -- how well is what really matters!”

Which makes Natasha realize a thing or two about how Hercules sees her.

Anyway, back at the mansion again, Whizzer declines to help. After the Count Nefaria fiasco where his Old Man Nihilism helped save the day, he’s realized that he’s too old for this line of work.

And Hawkeye is not an ass for once. Instead he uses his bouquet of flowers arrow to try to cheer Scarlet Witch up. But with Vision and Quicksilver among the missing, she’s feeling some young woman nihilism. A simple trick arrow won’t be cheering her up.

Although ‘simple’ is underselling it. How did he fit a bouquet of flowers in an arrow? WHAT ARROW SORCERY IS THIS?

I mean, he also invented anti-gravity to make an anti-gravity arrow that one time. Its possible that Hawkeye is actually a scientific genius who also happens to be a garbage fire. Or an actual arrow wizard. Who also happens to be a garbage fire.

Also, a Russian steamer slowly approaches New York carrying a weird old man who carves a doll of Scarlet Witch and is just reeking of foreshadowing. What is this guy’s deal? You’ll have to wait and see. Or just google it. Up to you.

Meanwhile Thor returns from one of his Thor trips. But weirdly he doesn’t recognize Wonder Man. Or remember the battles against Graviton or Count Nefaria.

Something weird is going on, Thor-wise. He doesn’t even accept half of Wonder Man’s sandwich.

Although the sandwich wasn’t cut in half before Wonder Man started eating it so its kind of a weird offer.

Meanwhile, in the Avengers laboratory. Yellowjacket is starting to feel like a character in an Agatha Christie novel. Perhaps like a giant bee alien that has been programmed to follow murder mysteries in times of stress.

The Avengers’ equipment isn’t sensitive enough to track the disappearances and none of the people they’ve reached out to have been willing to help them because of Peter Henry Gyrich taking away their priority status.

I have to wonder why they didn’t reach out to the Fantastic Four, honestly. Not even a call that ends with ‘sorry we have our own troubles.’ They just didn’t even try. Nor the X-Men nor the Defenders and their magic guy Mr. Weird.

Although in fairness, the Defenders are dicks. But why not the Fantastic Four?

Oh shared universe, sometimes you’re not so shared after all.

But Black Panther hits upon an obvious idea.

They’re in good with the Guardians of the Galaxy, right? And their Drydock space station is just hanging around not doing anything, right? With technology a thousand years in advance of the Avengers’? Why not just get in touch with them and get them to sort it out?

This idea is so good that Black Panther and Yellowjacket spontaneously cease to exist.

Or maybe they’ve been disappeared by the mysterious adversary.

And Scarlet Witch and Wonder Man were also taken, as Hawkeye and Thor run in to report.

Is it targeted? Or opportunistic?

Black Panther just came up with a good idea and Yellowjacket was about to put it into action when they were vanished. But nothing stops the non-disappeared members from just doing what Black Panther suggested.

And they do do that. Iron Man contacts Vance Astro aboard Drydock and he tells them that he has traced a radiation trail to an object three cubic meters in size orbiting Earth. Which Astro directly compares to the size of a phone box.

Curious and also more curious.

Was Doctor Who the villain all along?

Probably... probably...

Anyway, now that they know where has been causing this trouble, Iron Man asks Astro to teleport the Avengers to it.

He questions the sense of squeezing so many people into a phone box (he would have hated the 50s) but goes ahead and does it anyway.

Inside the bigger on the inside phone box shaped object with a function that allows it to go unnoticed, a chameleon circuit if you will, the mysterious shadowy foe from the end of last issue is gloating over his collection of Avengers in tubes.

Mysterious shadowy foe from the end of last issue: “It is fortunate that his attention was focused elsewhere. Otherwise, I would have been forced to continue acquiring Avengers in the same sporadic manner as before -- in order to avoid detection!”

We also see that in addition to the ones explicitly yoinked (Wonder Man, Yellowjacket, Scarlet Witch, Black Panther) the mysterious shadowy foe from the end of last issue also snagged Black Widow, Hercules, and Captain Marvel.

Geez. Letting them go off unsupervised really didn’t pay off.

Anyway, the four remaining Avengers (Iron Man, Thor, Hawkeye, and the Wasp) loudly announce their presence instead of trying to keep the element of surprise. And by that I mean it was all on Hawkeye.

But the mysterious shadowy foe from the end of last issue isn’t upset to see the Avengers storming his not-TARDIS. In fact, he’s thrilled

The Collector: “‘Cowering’? But my dear fellows, I’m absolutely delighted you’re here! After all, you’ve just saved me the considerable bother of fetching you! For I am -- THE COLLECTOR! And you, my hapless friends, have just completed my collection! Ah hah ha ha ha ha!”

Oh hey its this nerd again!

Good twist, good surprise villain! I love the Collector. Always with the attempted collecting of the Avengers for reasons. Always with being a huge nerd.

And this time he actually managed a scheme that wasn’t dumb. Instead of pretending to be Tom Fagan, he just kidnapped the Avengers with teleportation while invisibly hiding out in orbit in a not-TARDIS. And he would have and might still get away with it if it weren’t for that meddling Vance Astro!

Of course, this isn’t a typical the Collector story. Its part of the Korvac Saga and that leaves open the question of why. We have to assume that the distracted ‘he’ the Collector spoke of was Korvac and his inattentiveness scanning the great powers and yelling at his wife was what allowed the Collector to step up his kidnapping game.

But why? I guess we’ll find out

Next: Captured by the Collector!

Please follow @essential-avengers if you like these posts. Or even if you’re benevolently indifferent.

[douxreviews]

The Good Place - ‘Most Improved Player’ Review

“There is no award for most improved player, Chidi.” “Well, maybe there should be.”

Possibly my least favorite episode of the season.

It starts out promising enough, with a mirror image of the series premiere, and definitely finishes strong with the discovery of a second Eleanor Shellstrop. I mean what??!?! But unfortunately the middle is taken up largely by a series of flashbacks to the dress bitch saga. They go on far too long and only serve to prove something we already knew: Eleanor was trash on Earth. It’s actually made worse because Michael keeps interrupting to say “Wait there’s more?” which both points out how long the story is and actually elongates the story. Now. I don’t know if I feel this way because I’ve watched and rewatched the season so many times or if it’s genuinely not funny. I’d love to hear from some first time watchers in the comments.

Aside from the flashbacks, we get some character progression. Tahani is furious that Eleanor lied to her and is hurt, seriously doubting if the bond she shared with Eleanor was real or just a fabrication. Her pride is wounded as well, because she never picked up on Eleanor’s less than Good Place material side. The end of the episode sees her getting over herself enough to (somewhat grudgingly?) farewell Eleanor with Jason (who, remember, she still thinks is Jianyu) in tow.

Chidi really grabs the reigns of the whole situation when he, possibly taking a cue from Eleanor, confesses that he’s been helping her all along and declares that she is becoming a better person and shouldn’t be shuffled off to the Bad Place. It’s by far the most decisive we’ve seen Chidi. And his face when Eleanor referenced Kant in their discussion over what he should or should not tell Michael was beyond precious. Anyone shipping them?

Humor-wise, we rely mostly on Janet, who is still rebooting, and her cacti confusion. I love how the number of cacti rises offscreen so every time we reenter Michael’s office, there are more. The cactus bit gets a little wearing if you’ve seen it enough times, however. There was also a strong introduction to Trevor and his crew of demons. Trevor’s a big fan of Eleanor’s, a sexual harasser, and a die-hard fan of The Bachelor. We learned during Michael’s quiz that those emotionally invested in The Bachelor are in for the Bad Place. And of course any man who tells a woman she should smile more has to be a demon. I love that sexual harassment was listed as a major crime by Michael along with murder and arson. Take that, toxic masculinity! TGP said Time’s Up!

With the train stopped, hopefully that means Trevor is going to be staying a while. Adam Scott playing the polar opposite of Ben Wyatt is amusing as hell (no pun intended).

Ethical Bits

How did Trevor know that Chidi was trying to improve Eleanor before Michael did? Continuity error?

The Good Quotes

Michael: “Janet, if you hand me a cactus, I swear I will lose my mind.”

two and a half out of four dress bitch shirts

--

sunbunny

[awed-frog]

Stuck in the Middle (with You)/Like A Virgin

“Gay subtext always makes every movie better.” – Quentin Tarantino

Note: this is me squealing about Tarantino. For the actual meta about the Supernatural episode, Stuck in the Middle (with You), click here. 

One: if you haven’t seen Reservoir Dogs, stop reading. This post is going to be full of spoilers, and this movie is a masterpiece and deserves to be seen without knowing in advance what’s going to happen. And two: if you’re under the age of seventeen, and/or uncomfortable with a certain degree of profanity and violence, maybe wait a few years before giving this movie a chance. It’s rated R for a reason.

I’m a big fan of Tarantino and I love Reservoir Dogs - in some ways, I like it even more than Pulp Fiction, simply because it’s so miraculous - it’s his first film, and he wrote the script in three weeks, and he was hellbent on filiming it with 30K before Harvey Keitel basically gave him a million dollar, and even then Tarantino shot the entire thing in a month - seriously, I don’t even understand exactly how much work goes into making a movie, but everything about this just blows me away. I also have a weakness for huis-clos movies, and this is as close as you can get to huis-clos by respecting Tarantino’s unusual filming style, so, seriously - I’m in awe of it all.

And let’s be fair: there probably was no malicious intent (or very little malicious intent) in picking this movie as inspiration for a Supernatural episode. Tarantino is a great director, his movies always tell compelling, brutal stories about fully fleshed-out characters, and the Supernatural people love to play around and pay homage to various bits of cinematic and television history - this is part of what makes the show so interesting to watch. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to be a little shit and point out that Reservoir Dogs is a freaking Bible of gay subtext. The thing is in every other scene, and it’s so obvious you can see it from the damn moon. And, sure, probably those people who’ve never heard about subtext started to blink a bit too fast when the big reunion between Mr Blonde and Nice Guy Eddie went down, but let’s be honest - the movie actually opens with the sentence, “Let me tell you what [this] is about. It's all about a girl who digs a guy with a big dick. Τhe entire song - it's a metaphor for big dicks.” - so that’s it and we’re all set. Weirdly enough, they’re actually discussing Madonna’s Like A Virgin (she made a point of sending a copy to Tarantino and signed it, To Quentin. It's not about dick, it's about love), which is hilarious right from the start, because remember that scene? The first scene of what we thought would be a serious and violent heist movie - of what, as it turns out, is a serious and violent heist movie - and yet here are these career criminals, discussing Madonna songs. And that’s your first piece of gay subtext and queer coding, right in the first five minutes. So, I apologize for the mess, let’s do this right, Buzzfeed style and all -

The Five Most in-Your-Face Moments of Gay Subtext in Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs (a love letter by me)

[Just as a reminder: Larry is Mr White (Harvey Keitel), Freddie is Mr Orange (Tim Roth) and Vic is Mr Blonde (Michael Madsen)]

1) The song

As I said, that entire first scene, not only because it’s unusual in itself that men like these would be discussing the subtext of a pop song, and not only because the main characters are actively telling you, in the fucking opening scene, that subtext is important and worthy of discussion, not only because the character telling you that is played by the actual director and writer of the movie, and not only because Madonna is, like, the gayest idol of all times - but mostly for the fact that that conversation is actually about the movie itself. Is Reservoir Dogs about big dicks, or is it, as Vic says, about a girl who's very vulnerable, who’s been fucked over a few times and then she meets a guy who's very sensitive and it’s like being in love for the first time all over again? Hold that thought - we’ll find out.

(Let’s just note, for fun, that as Mr Brown, aka Tarantino, is relaying the story, the camera moves from Larry to Freddie, and it’s immediately clear not only that this is about them but how comfortable they are with each other.)

2) The mirrors

In theory, Reservoir Dogs is about six characters plus two (we’ve got six thieves and two bosses), but the reality is, this movie is about two distinct couples who play off each other, a Greek chorus, and three random extras.

(I say that just because I’m in a hurry, by the way - I don’t mean to imply Mr Brown, Mr Blue and Joe Cabot are not important - I’m just skipping ahead because this meta’s not about them.)

Mr Pink (Steve Buscemi) is the outsider. He doesn’t know anyone, doesn’t bond with anyone, doesn’t tip and is generally the voice of reason (a weird, skewered reason, but still). As he says several times in the course of the movie, he’s a professional. His problem is that he’s got to work with a lot of unprofessional people - namely, Larry and Freddie on one side (Mr White and Mr Orange) and Vic and Eddie on the other (Mr Blonde and Joe’s son). All of these men are unprofessional because they don’t stick to the rules, and they don’t stick to the rules because they’re way too close to each other.

To me, Vic and Eddie are a bundle of negative stereotypes and toxic masculinity. Their dynamic reminds me of that other toxic thing going on between Nikolai and Kirill in Eastern Promises (an absolute favourite of mine, but, again, R rated, so proceed with caution): Eddie is the boss’ son, and Vic works for his dad, but at the same time it’s clear that Vic’s the one with the upperhand. There is some sense of loyalty between them, but, again, it’s out of balance. Vic’s loyalty is to Eddie’s father, and Eddie clearly feels like he can’t keep up with Vic’s efficiency and brutality - but he’s just as clearly determined to, and the way he shoots that cop - without thinking and repeatedly - is a beautiful way of showing what his entire character is about. You’ll remember that Vic was in prison, and when they see each other again, they engage in banter which is full of homosexual overtones while at the same time being the very opposite of what every relationship is about: their conversation is always half a step away from becoming a real fist fight, they make barbed remarks about rape and who gets to top, and they constantly try to put each other down. 

(And let’s not mention those elephant tusks which are, uhm, rather strategically placed.)

At one point, Vic says Eddie wouldn’t be good enough even for a dog, and we, the audience, get a definite feeling that this is what Vic actually thinks - because, like Larry and Freddie, we have no emotional connection to Vic, and we can actually accept he’s a dangerous psychopath - but there’s something in Eddie that prevents him from coming to the same conclusion himself. In fact, even after Larry describes the disastrous shoot-out at the bank, Eddie leaves Vic in charge of the captured cop, thereby sealing everyone’s destiny.

(Compare and contrast Larry and Freddie’s relationship, which develops naturally and is based on respect, mutual trust and shared jokes.)

3) M/M, Archive Warning: Non-Con

In fact, Vic is not only a psychopath, but presents all the characteristics of deranged alpha males everywhere, the chief one being the absolute need of being in control and the obsession of being disobeyed and disrespected. I mean, this is not subtext. It’s text. We’re flat-out told that the reason this experienced criminal, someone who had enough self-control to serve a long prison sentence while staying focused on his eventual release, completely flipped his shit and opened fire in a busy bank was - people not doing what he’d told them to. According to Vic himself, he warned the bank’s employees not to sound the alarm, and yet someone did - and from the way he tells the story, he clearly feels that was directed at him - was an unforgivable lack of respect towards him - which is why he killed five innocent people and put his accomplices in danger. Add in the way he acts around Eddie and the whole episode with the cop (who, in this movie without women, assumes the traditionally feminine role of damsel in distress and hostage and murder victim) and the building of this fascinating character is pretty much done. His taunting of the man he’s just tortured, which is also very openly sexual and a clear rape metaphor (“Was it as good for you as it was for me?”) is just the icing on the cake. 

4) “Would you please hold me?”

We don’t know what, if anything, went down between Larry and Freddie. What we do know, however, is that they weren’t supposed to get close - Larry’s on a job and he knows from experience things get dangerous when he’s involved with a partner, and Freddie’s actually a cop and his goal here is to lock all those people up - and yet they do. In fact, by the time of the bank heist, the two characters are prioritizing each other over their respective missions. Freddie doesn’t intervene when Larry kills two cops who were closing in on them, and Larry defends Freddie to the hilt in front of his accomplices, choosing a man he’s known for a few weeks even over Joe Cabot, whom he clearly sees as a mentor of sorts. Still, this is a tragedy, not a romance, so what intimacy we see between them is desperate and bloody: the fil rouge of the movie, giving it urgency and momentum, is Larry’s distress and anger, and Larry taking care of Freddie after Freddie’s been shot. This is a traditional way of showing queer subtext in those testosterone-fuelled movies where queer text isn’t allowed at all, and those moments (death, pain, high risk and illness) are, sadly, also the only moments when most men feel it’s appropriate to get close to other men at all (physically or emotionally) - but still - there is a peculiar tenderness in those scenes between Larry and Freddie which makes it very hard to read their relationship as completely platonic. The ones which resonated the most with me were probably the very ending and the heartbreaking moment when Freddie asked Larry to hold him.

(Rewatching it now, it also reminds me of that stupid scene in Merlin, but let’s not go there.)

5) The song - yes, again

Remember that song thing? Like A Virgin? According to Tarantino Mr Brown, it’s about this girl who’s been fooled before, someone unlucky in love, who finally finds someone who can make her feel like it’s the first time all over again. And, sure, the whole thing’s framed really crudely, but the metaphor’s not very subtle: Mr Brown’s talking about love here, not sex. And Larry - Larry fits the profile just right. We know he’s done time, we know he’s been tricked by undercover cops before, and we know he used to work with a woman who was (most likely) also his lover but that things didn’t end well between them. So, well - Larry knows very well he shouldn’t trust again. This is probably why he’s taken this job in the first place: so he won’t need to get to know a new partner, someone who can break his freaking heart, again - no, this is a clean thing, in and out and nobody will ever know his name. 

Except that’s not what happens, because Freddie is there, and in the space of a few weeks, the two men become close - way too close, because this was never the deal - and the whole thing goes from heist movie to Romeo and Juliet.

And, whatever - it’s called subtext because you need to read between the lines to read it, but in this case, the lines aren’t blurry at all. When Freddie gets shot and asks Larry to hold him - you know how that Madonna song ends, right? 

Feels so good inside 

When you hold me, and your heart beats, and you love me.

(Sigh.

Anyway - this was just a silly little post. You can read a wonderful analysis of Freddie and Larry’s relationship in Reservoir Dogs here and an in-depth piece about the general queer coding of the movie here.)

BONUS - The whispered sweet nothing Larry uses to make Freddie laugh when hs’ hurt can’t be heard clearly in the original version of the movie, but that scene was so obviously intimate, even sexual, that every single dubber around the world just said Fuck it and put in a random innuendo (according to IMDb, in the French release of the film he says "You don't want a blow job by the way?", in the Italian dubbed version he says "Do you want me to give you a hand job, too?", and in the Spanish dubbed version he says "I'll comb your hair so you look handsome").

[sage-nebula]

I wasn’t tagged, but I saw @ryttu3k do this meme earlier and I want to do something right now, so this is something that’s getting done.

Name: Scrawlers.

Nicknames: Scrawlers. =P

Gender: Female.

Sexual orientation: Biromantic asexual.

Star sign: Taurus (30 April).

Height: 5′0″, even.

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor and proud of it.

Favourite colours: This shade of blue, and this shade of green. 

Favourite animals: If we’re talking about domesticated animals, then dogs all the way. It’s not that I don’t like other animals---I do!---but I have a special fondness for dogs and probably always will. In particular, my favorite breeds are:

Shelties (shetland sheepdogs), even though seeing pictures of them splinters my heart into a billion pieces due to how achingly I still miss Shiloh.  I can still identify shelties on sight after spending fifteen years with one, and I honestly start to cry every single time I do. So like, basically, I think shelties are the best breed of dog, but so much as seeing a picture of one will make me cry, and god forbid I’m in the presence of one, because just the texture of their fur makes me break. (Seriously, my friend’s sheltie kept coming over to me for petting and I just lost it all over him. Crying all over the place. I was a mess.)

That said, I have a fondness for sheepdogs in general, specifically the aforementioned shelties and border collies. I also like regular collies, too.

German shepherds

Huskies

Whatever breeds came together to make Morgan. (The rescue said border collie and beagle, and I can tell that she has some sort of terrier in her as well. That said, I’m not sure of her exact breed, and it doesn’t matter, tbh. I adore her just the way she is. To quite Chris Traeger, she is half-amazing, half-terrific. Well, okay, probably more like half-terrific, half-impish, but still. =P)

As far as wild animals go, my favorite animals have been wolves since childhood. While I do have other animals that I like a lot (e.g. red-tailed hawks, foxes), wolves have been my favorite for the longest time and I don’t see that changing. And then, as far as mythical creatures go, well . . . I feel like it should come as a surprise to absolutely no one when I say that I have a distinct fondness for dragons. 

Average hours of sleep: Like . . . maybe four on a weeknight, and then closer to ten if it’s Saturday or Sunday. :/ So that would be . . . about 40 hours of sleep per week? When I’m supposed to be getting 63? Yikes.

Favourite fictional characters: I’ll choose one from each of my current active fandoms, though they’re in no particular order aside from the first one.

Alan from Pokémon is my all-time favorite fictional character for a lot of reasons, but one of the primary ones is dear gods I have never related to a fictional character more. Like there are characters where I can say, “Yeah, I feel them/relate to their struggles” in some way, because they were written to be relatable, but none come even close to how much I relate to Alan in a lot of ways which I needed a character like him to relate to (without even realizing that I needed that!). He is my valiant dragon son and he is so, so important to me---again, for a lot of reasons, but also because he’s helping me work through some things that I probably should have worked through a decade ago, but, uh, better late than never. Anyway, I love him. He is my ultimate fave. Mess with him and you mess with me, et cetera.

Okumura Rin from Blue Exorcist is one of the best characters to ever be created, because despite being the literal spawn of Satan he is immensely pure of heart, brave, snarky, protective, and downright adorable. This boy loves his brother, his friends, his (demon) cat, gets in fights to protect wild pigeons, loves to cook and is damn good at it, and is just . . . I love him. Rin is wonderful. And if you’re reading this and you’re familiar with YGO, then know that if you love Jounouchi then you will love Rin, because Rin has a lot in common with Jounouchi, sans the toxic masculinity Jounouchi was saddled with at the start of the series, and SPEAKING OF WHICH . . .

Jounouchi Katsuya from Yu-Gi-Oh! is still my darling boy and I still love him to pieces as well. He’s definitely up there in terms of favorites for me. ♥ (And truth be told I’m not very active in YGO at the moment, but Jounouchi still deserves a mention because I love him that much, so.)

I can’t choose just one character from The Office, so it’s a toss-up between Jim Halpert, Pam Beesly-Halpert, Ryan Howard (in seasons 1-3, and here and there from 5-onward), Dwight Schrute, Karen Filipelli, Stanley Hudson, and Oscar Martinez. Oh, and of course Michael Scott has his moments.

A toss-up between Kinomoto Sakura, Li Syaoran, and Kinomoto Touya for Cardcaptor Sakura. Oh, and Kero-chan. Gotta love Kero-chan. ♥

And I think that’s it for current fandoms, but give this another month and it’ll be time for Breath of the Wild, so . . . x) I also think RttE is coming back soon, which would bring back Dreamworks Dragons (and we all know how much I love Hiccup), but I’m not sure of the exact date on that.

Wow, this is long. Fill it out if you want!