#also michael's still here. i think he's funny
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Una O'Connor (The Adventures of Robin Hood, The Invisible Man, The Bride of Frankenstein)—One of my favorite character actresses! While many people know her as the shrieking innkeeper's wife in The Invisible Man, I've always loved when she played a character who was a little more grounded (though that scream of hers is pretty iconic.) Her character of Bess is warm and loving towards Marian, but also tough and takes no prisoners. When they are captured in the forest, she comes forward to protect Marian with so much ferocity that Sir Guy (the villain) moves out of the way so quickly because even he doesn't want to feel Bess' wrath. She could switch from hilariously over-the-top to gently and sweet in the blink of an eye and she deserves a little more recognition! Also her hats in Robin Hood are ridiculous and I love them.
Zero Mostel (A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, The Producers)—Archetypal. Comedian of all time. The worst combover in cinematic history, probably. Could make more laughter with one muscle in a singular eyebrow than 98% of all men across the face of the earth. Hardcore Committer to the Bit. Man of all time, and also told HUAC directly where they could shove it, which is a primally appealing and scrungly quality.
This is round 2 of the contest. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. If you’re confused on what a scrungle is, or any of the rules of the contest, click here.
[additional submitted propaganda + scrungly videos under the cut]
Una O'Connor:
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she eats this:
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The things this woman does with her face when she sees Frankenstein's creature. Your fave could never.
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Zero Mostel:
"The chase scene in FORUM is just. it's fucking iconic. It's one of the funniest pieces of cinema I've ever seen in any context, everything about it is genius, and the heart and soul of it is Zero Mostel as Pseudolus. Casting him alongside a young Michael Crawford (of later Phantom of the Opera fame) really highlights the differences between the young romantic lead and the older, sensible, and yet entirely scrungly middle aged man (Mostel was 55 at the time) somehow manages to come off as even more desirable. He has no shit together, not very good plans, is panicked for most of the story, and the charisma of a champ. His flailing, helpless attempts at fighting the gladiator is so... he's so scrungly. "
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"He's not fancy, he's not pretty, he's not good at much of anything, but he is Genius despite that."
"There is a magic to Zero Mostel that he manages to bring to roles where he is simultaneously the worst person ever, and also, compelling in every possible way. He had his biggest period of fame in middle age after he got taken off the Hollywood blacklist, and being a fat middle aged man with thinning hair is what gives every single bit of his characters power. As the original Max Bialystock he would eat the entirety of The Producers except that Gene Wilder as Leo Bloom is a genius casting decision, as Mostel's intensity against Wilder's deep discomfort ends up being the right chemistry. In many ways he reminds me of Buster Keaton, the pinnacle of hot scrungly little guy—a unique and expressive face, an instinctive understanding of comedy, active at the same time, and also they were both in FORUM together. Mostel came from an Orthodox Jewish family, was a trained painter with a degree in art, spoke four languages, and when he was blacklisted during the Red Scare and brought before the HUAC, he didn't just refuse to name names, he made fun of the senators. He was disabled after an accident, and still did dancing in movies and things like stunts in FORUM. He did a ton of work on Broadway too, including originating Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof, making the musical more Jewish as he did so. Frankly, I don't think any of those roles (or the eventual later film versions of Fiddler/musical version of the Producers) would work with anyone else. It had to be a fat balding middle aged leftist Jew from Brooklyn. The scrungly is essential.
"the scrungle factor of max in every version of the producers is through the roof but nathan lane does it as suave scrungle. zero mostel does not do suave scrungle. he does old jewish man getting into an argument with the rabbi at the full synagogue passover seder about how much wine has to be in the glass for it to count as "one cup" scrungle; he does old jewish man whose entire fridge is full of pickled herring scrungle. it's offputting in all the ways that make it genius."
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my current project: jump forever!
this is the first of those scheduled posts i mentioned earlier!!! i figured i would start by talking about my current project - that way i can start posting updates about it without confusing you, Michael. The next post is gonna be about the beginning of this whole Godot thing i've been on, and then i'm thinking about maybe doing a Before Godot post as a bonus once i've talked about all my godot stuff (i love saying this as if anybody cares (besides you, Michael)). setting all that aside, though: this one's gonna need some backstory, so you should buckle in.
around this time last year, me and my little cousin (he's still in high school, but we've always been pretty close) got really competitive about a little game called Jump Forever. it's a side minigame from WarioWare Mega Microgames (the GBA one) where you just jump over a little rope until you fuck up. it's really fucking fun as an addictive little mobile game, and with a quick lil emulator it was one. thus, the addiction began.
truth be told, the phase last year didn't even last that long, but i had a long bus ride a couple of weeks ago and found myself opening the GBA emulator on my phone to pass the time. that led to a little bit of playing at home, which led to beating my cousin's score, which led to getting even more into the game than i was before. as our scores get higher, we've turned to better controllers than a phone touch screen for serious record attempts - i use a ds lite i had lying around (that i reshelled! it was very fun) and he emulates on pc with a controller (i think). this got me thinking about a potential "definitive edition" of the game - probably still on mobile, but with controller support, better touch controls (the game only needs <-, ->, and A!), faster resets, selectable skins, and maybe even unlockable skins? of course, when i finished my work on fnaf (ooh foreshadowing), my sights were immediately set on a Jump Forever remake.
with all that said, welcome to the game as it currently stands! at the moment, i've got wario, the rope swingers, and the score all just about set up, with one exception; the characters have collision, the rope swings (at varying speeds, even!), and wario's speed and physics feel very accurate - but i'm still working on the ai (if you can call it that) of the rope guys as they walk back and forth. i want it to work exactly the same way as it does in the original but i always overthink random mechanics like this. hopefully the next update i give will be about how i cracked it! even if the implementation ends up jank, though, it wouldn't be the first: the rope guys check if wario is too close to them to make it over the rope with an Area2D that just checks for wario when the rope hits the ground. it works! i could just like check wario's position in the code (and it'd probably be way more efficient), but this way just... works.
i still have a buncha crap i still gotta implement before the game's even really playable - the walking ai, the title screen, the little "Ready?" animation, etc. - but that's only the beginning of my work. firstly, i'm probably gonna enlist chloe (oooh foreshadowing) to help me out by drawing some new assets (if she's free, it is finals season), and then changing the game's native resolution from 240x160 (the GBA screen) to something not fucking insane. i've got "reworking all the sprites into easy to read spritesheets" on my to-do list, and after that, making the new assets (and then maybe the skins?) will be as easy as drag & drop. once it's got the new assets and all the polish that needs to come with a shiny new resolution, i'm gonna transition into the next phase - researching how to release a game!!!
[hi, not to ruin my own amazing transition but: it's 5am and i'm running back to edit this because i completely forgot to mention that i have currently implemented a 2 frame input delay on all inputs, because that's how the emulator appears to behave when i go frame by frame. every single day i rethink this decision more and more. surely there's no way that's how it's supposed to be, right? but i feel so weird changing it now!!! i definitely fucking have to though. next time i work on it. ok anyways]
now. i've posted games to itch.io before. but even then, i kind of fucked it up (i could never get the resolution of my web games to work right???) - so it's no surprise i've always been completely daunted by the idea of "releasing a game". when you post it on real stores, that's when it becomes... real. i'm excited about the new challenges it'll pose, though! now, a mobile release means a couple of things - bite sized fun, simple progression, and fun customization. i've already got the first part nailed down, and i figured i could nail the other 2 at once with a currency system based on how many points you get (or maybe even an xp system? that goes up 1 for each jump? maybe even both???) and skins (purchasable with said currency) that let you customize the player, rope swingers, background, and maybe even the rope itself.
pictured above is my stupid ass skins mockup (i literally just made this). the rope is rainbow, the background has a snow effect and a bunch of snow on the trees/ground (isn't it great?), wario is a lil version of the rope guys, and the rope guys have santa hats. i'm not sure how many different ropes you could really make with how i'm planning the rope to move, so i'll probably end up prototyping the graphics with chloe to figure out how to lay out the sprite sheets, and if they should actually have a seperate hand-grabbing-the-rope sprite for skin purposes. it'll definitely make things really confusing, but if i go for a mobile release i don't want to run ads, and so a currency you can buy with real money (and maybe one or two goofy supporter skins that cost real money, like a solid gold guy or something, as a form of donation) is a good way to make a lil bit of money from people who like the game.
all of this is fun to think about, but it's important to remember that the next thing i have to do is that walking ai. i've gotta Make The Fucking Game before i can do all this crazy other bullshit. i'm sure the ui design for all this is gonna be soooo fun, but i need a game to attach it to first :p
this went on reeeally long but i figure if this is a dev diary or w/e it's gonna end up running long no matter what, and the more info, the more i have to look back on fondly and say "oh shit, i know exactly when this was!", which is kind of the end goal of the project. of course, these incredibly long posts about shit that only matters to me are also incredible content for you, Michael, so i'm sure you're just eating this shit up. enjoy, you weird little man.
#game dev#jump forever#godot#yeah yeah i got some real tags too. just in case i actually need em.#also michael's still here. i think he's funny#it's only been like an hour for me soooo#remember when i said it was 1am in my first post? it's 4am now lol#i looove tags i love rambling under my post where people don't feel obligated to read it#nobody ask me why i have the stickmen swinging the rope instead of kat/ana like it is after you beat them#(he said as if anybody would've noticed)#i think the stickmen are so much more awesome and the fact that you can't get them back is SO FUCKED UP#and lowkey one of the things that got me thinking about Jump Forever Definitive Edition#kat and ana are awesome the stickmen just resonate with me deep in my soul#i'm not proofreading this i'm just hoping it sounds good. really putting the “diary” in “dev diary”#man. im so glad michael is the hypothetical ideal viewer. because that means he's reading all the tags too#hi michael! ur the best :)#scheduling this for saturday at noon (it is currently friday at 4:30 am)#i hope i get the chance to write the next one (about that 2D platformer tutorial!) before like. monday.#god knows i'm not doing my homework lmaooo#when's my next therapy appointment?#that's crazy deep lore we can't get into that on post 2 (honestly post 1)#but it's okay because nobody reads the tags#and that's not even considering that nobody is ever gonna read this post. ever.#besides michael.#but michael knows all about that ;)#or maybe he doesn't... and it's a sexy mystery?#my my i am such an enigma#okay fuck i can't keep adding tags i need to sleep#i really hope tags are collapsed by default or michael's timeline is gonna be in shambles
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btw funniest option for reverseverse archangel siblings is that lucifer & michael are the twowith the dead mom killed by a demon, and gabriel and raphael are accidents that happened along the way that chuck kidnapped
#they are all still related their family situation is just a freakshow#gabriel and raphael’s moms ARE alive. they just were kidnapped a little bit kind of#this is actually very angsty if you look at it too long and ends up with a lot of turmoil from each of them because michael & lucifer like.#This Is Their Family Mission. avenge their mom. who is. Undecided Character At This Time. because im not one of those losers who makes#becky a dead wife. but someone’s gotta be the dead wife around here you know?#but anyway my point was. this is Everything to them. but its. not at all the same for raphael and gabriel.#like at this point yes they want in because those are their brothers and their grief is shared grief but at the same time. they have moms.#they haven’t been allowed to see their moms but theyre out there.#this is getting too angsty. i said this was the funny option specifically because i think it would be hilarious if chuck’s condom broke 2x#and then he had to take care of even more babies (read: hand them off to michael)#this would also mean that raphael & gabriel are significantly younger circa s1 of reverseverse. like adam-aged#i think chuck does just leave them somewhere and fuck off to do his own thing. maybe with michael but maybe just in a motel room somewhere#they’re like 15-16 and just completely abandoned. i think that does fuck them up a little. even more than it does michael & lucifer.
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personally i think t.ma michael should piss off “elias bouchard” enough to get clocked
#i say this as an aside to the thought that like. as much as i love chaotic avatar michael#i also think it would be fun to be at the institute somehow. domestication arc#except it’s not really domestication because he’s still off his hinges . which leads to my point here LMAO#yes he’s committed atrocities yes he’s feeding an entity that thrives on destruction but he’s still majorly hurting under there-#i just think it would be funny if he somehow had to stay on a leash around the institute for whatever reason SKDJFK#⁂ ・゚: i was looking for a job��� and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc
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why write Bad. like why do that.
#i was worried that my i initial interpretation and resulting loss of my mind was just#well i was worried i interpreted it through a very white perspective. sorry. sorry about that#but idk... i'm continuing to think about his perspective and see it more in context#and while i can now more readily see that he was in fact bad and in what ways he was bad#it still reads as funny to me.... right? whether he means it or not it's funny RIGHT? im BAD (^BAD BAD^) im BAD (^REALLY REALLY BAD^)#well i know i'm not crazy#Prince saying i'm not singing 'your butt is mine' to you and you're certainly not singing it to me'#like it's way overdone and ridiculous#....RIGHT?#and i get like. he was trying to rebrand the word 'bad.' the peter pan of pop is STILL the peter pan of pop but he wears buckles now#it still means rebellion! but in kind of the other direction#i have no linear point i'm making here i'm just ruminating ig#trying to figure out if i overshot before. when i first freaked out#i don't think so#i think actually. michael jackson was a really interesting and multi-faceted and shrewd artist#he doesn't let you know how much He knows. yknow?#like. looking more feminine than ever he dons the leather and buckles and says he's bad.#(which... badass. tbh)#there's no acknowledgement or engagement with THAT side of things ok his part#and it's like. so........ wh. how intentional was that? he's more aware than he lets on...#it's like if a stupid simple little song were soooooo complicated#bro these tags are riddled with typos also i'm embarrassed to talk about my ignorance#luckily this is my private little journal. that anyone can see
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Russell was one of the few people in Hurricane who didn’t believe that Michael died when he disappeared, even Amelia and Cory thought Michael died
Russell never gave up looking for him, even when leads would dry up for years. He was the one in charge of reviewing people’s applications for the Security Postion for Fazbear Frights and he recognized Michael’s handwriting
(Michael was not prepared for a reunion and almost cried when Russell hugged him)
#my favorite part about my au is how I decided to combine retro tech with new tech - i no longer have to think if somethings time period-#-appriate because the technology co-exists together#yes people are still using rotary phones in 2030 here yes they also have a smartphone in their pocket#I think it’s funny how my Michael thought he could pretend to be someone else to the masked bullies - like bro. they know you better then-#-anyone else
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one major flaw with this web weave is it severely downplays the significance of the nylander sisters which is horrible and tragic but i need y’all to know that i am keenly aware their importance okay. just because they’re not centred in this specific narrative doesn’t mean i don’t Perceive and Understand the wider story!!
urge to post this damn web weave and be free of it vs the need to wait for leafs admin to drop the nylander brothers pregame picture to complete The Narrative
#this is not a web weave about the Nylander Clan specifically because otherwise i’d be here forever#but willy has FOUR (4) sisters!! and he clearly adores them and you can see the influence of them on him imo….#there’s this one photo that i cut because the vibes weren’t quite right but it’s willy carrying one of his sisters in his arms bridal style#down a street while alex takes a selfie and it’s SO sweet… the clips that came out from his youngest sisters graduation kill me genuinely#also we need to talk about willy having four younger siblings but also an older sister#wild.#ALSO if i /was/ going to make a nylander clan web weave please know i Would be pointing out how it’s interesting that#both of michael’s SONS play professional hockey but NONE of his FOUR DAUGHTERS do!! they all played tennis like their mom instead!!#in one article jacky says they used to play hockey in their driveway as kids but the reporter just? doesn’t follow up on that?#and i guess it’s just really interesting to think about… i don’t want to Imply anything because they seem like a very tight knit family but#you had four daughters and not one of them went on to play even minor league hockey? okay michael. whatever you say.#(also for the RECORD you can come from a close knit loving family and still have. issues lol. believe me i speak from EXPERIENCE.)#m speaks#…… guys i think i need to clock out from the nylander sickos association it’s not funny anymore
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Trying to take care of drunk reader (Part 1)
Featuring: Yoichi Isagi, Meguru Bachira, Rin Itoshi and Michael Kaiser
Here's the masterlist!
A/n:- Don't know why I did this. thought it would be funny.
~ISAGI YOICHI~
• Poor guy was just concerned for your life when he saw you chugging that third glass of wine with flushed cheeks.
• Isagi dosen't say anything though and thinks to let you enjoy yourself for today, sipping up his non-alcoholic drinks calmly.
• However, he draws the line with it when he sees sees going you not being able to walk in a straight line.
• Regrets for not saying anything before. A lot. Like really.
• "HEYYY BRO, WHAT'S THE PLAN FOR TONIGHT BRO??"
"I'm your boyfriend y/n, please stop calling me your bro 😭"
• Never, ever again, he thinks. Yes, he always wanted a sister but you're his girlfriend! Stop calling him that!
• But we all know, this guy is the responsible one. Of course he'd take care of your drunken self well.
• A bit annoyed by the situation, yes but also intrigued if you happen to utter out stuff and secrets your sober self would never.
• Is literally goggling stuff like "Do's and don'ts with a drunk person" , "How to make somehow sober as soon as possible" while you're clinging on his back like a koala.
• Please don't laugh at him later for doing that, he is an athelete who never dealt with a drunk individual.
• Gently urges you to sleep, as soon as you guys get home, because lord knows he just wants you to get back to your usual self.
• Because Isagi doesn't think he can survive being called 'bro' again by you. :')
~Meguru Bachira~
• Bachira's definitely laughing at your funny, silly actions all the time. Not like in a "You're such an idiot" way, but in a "That's so cute!" type of way actually.
• Takes this as an opportunity to be the more responsible one in this relationship for once which obviously never happens.
• And by "responsible" I meant playfully scolding you, trying to imitate the way you scold him sometimes when he gets out of line sometimes.
• "Y/n, you can't take that money plant home~!"
"BUT IT'S MONEY PLANT! IT CAN GROW MONEY!"
"OMG LET'S TRY IT THEN!"
• ...Yeah. I guess you already knew he fails miserably at that.
• Very good at handling your mindless ramblings , like you could tell him every thought of yours which came from your overthinking process.
• And believe me sweetheart, he would have the perfect reply to match your vibe, somehow. Lord knows whow he does it every time because I don't.
• "Meguru...when you say forward and backward your lips moves in those directions."
"WAIT IT'S THE SAME WITH 'YOU' AND 'ME'!"
"OMG NEW DISCOVERY!"
• But jokes aside Bachira encourages you to drink a lots and lots of water to help you get better. :D
• Long story short, perfect companion to get crazy with!!
~Rin Itoshi~
• Was geuninely dreading the possibility of being the babysitter of your drunk self when he accidentally came late to your little 'outing' with your friends.
• still managed to look all cool and unbothered while coming. What in the actual hell is up with this guy?
• Needless to say, his fears came true. I mean this guy can't even handle having teenagers his age around sometimes.
• So how is he supposed to handle an individual who has lost their sense of coordination because of these shitty drinks?
• Anyway.
• Tries his best not to glare or be too harsh on you in this state, but y'know his nature. Definitely made you cry over the most stupid shit ever.
• "CAN WE TAKE THIS KITTY AT OUR HOME??? I'LL FEED IT- TAKE IT TO A WALK EVERY DAY-"
"No we can't. I have enough of taking care of your stupid ass already."
"YOU'RE SUCH A MEANIE!!!! 😭"
• ...and from that Rin already mentally decided to never EVER let you get this much drunk. Because let's be honest here, his way of communication is 90% of the times with insults.
• Despite his tough exterior, is worried as hell though, like what if you got alcohol poisoning? Please someone remind this guy that three glasses in years doesn't get you that.
• That's why, if you need to throw up or anything, he suprisingly doesn't give you any snarky remarks. Just calmly rubbing your back.
• Kinda knows that he is a screwup when it comes to words, so tries his best with his actions.
~MICHAEL KAISER~
• I'm sorry but Kaiser is another one who laughes at your drunk antics. And definitely in that "you're such an idiot" type of way 😭
• This bastard see what I did there haha I'm so funny, please don't block me🙏🏻 is certainly enjoying this way too much than he should.
• Messes around with you by saying the most random shit, for the sake of his own entertainment.
• Like. You accidentally hit a mail box and then you were apologising to that non-living thing y'know with the bowing all.
• And Michael was like, "Y/n you know this guy here has gotten very hurt because of your hitting?"
"I'M SO SORRY SIR IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN!!!
• When he does all this bullshit in front of Ness, and that guy suggests to just leave ya alone and they their way.
• Kaiser looked at him like he was speaking some kind of sin or something, and like. two hundred percent offended before shooing Ness away.
• Ex-fucking-cuse him, but does he look like the type to leave his girlfriend just like that? Sure he is an asshole, has many mental issues...but not that.
• In case you're wondering, those are the author's words, ya really think he would think all that of himself hm?
• Oh by the way, he read once about the intoxicated state of humans so he's not that hopeless about your situation then as he appears to be.
• Get lots of water, gentle with his movements with you, tries you to get to sleep....yeah. he's not that bad for you.
A/n: The author promises sincerely that she is not high on anything. What in the actual fuck I wrote even I don't know 😭
#blue lock#bllk#bllk x reader#blue lock x reader#bachira meguru#bachira x reader#isagi yoichi#itoshi rin#isagi yoichi x reader#rin itoshi x reader#michael kaiser#michael kaiser x reader
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i think this shot from episode 1 is criminally underrated. the comedic cut to michael and the alarm ringing in heaven is incredibly funny but it also distracts from it a lot. this is about to be some more unhinged rambling that probably wildly overestimates the meaning this scene holds but it's fun so here we go.
the first thing i find interesting is that the way aziraphale suggests it, it sounds like this is not the first time they have done half a miracle each. not with these stakes and with someone in the middle, but potentially as part of their arrangement or to hide the two of them from their respective head offices.
secondly, although aziraphale is the one to suggest it, it's crowley who checks if it took, which falls in line with the protector role he likes to take (and his probably unhealthy, trauma-based paranoia).
thirdly, and what i find incredibly intriguing, is the fact that the entire thing happens on the circle rug, which covers aziraphale's chalk/summoning circle. i do not think that positioning is accidental, and i still subscribe to the idea that part of why the miracle is visible from heaven (and as far as we know, hell does NOT notice on their own) is due to the fact that the circle + gabriel broadcast it like a signal. a signal that goes only up since the circle is only intended for communicate with heaven.
tying back to point two, there's just something incredibly symbolic about crowley being the one to quite literally reach up towards heaven and i can't help but be reminded of the scene in season 1 where he talks to god.
the angle is similar, a shot from above with crowley right at the center, and him looking up. the first scene is honestly quite heartbreaking and he does not get any answer from god, as expected. while he attempts to talk to god, it is aziraphale who actually, if accidentally, goes to heaven. he does not get any answers either, but he is still 'above' crowley and can get closer to god (at least in spirit), though i think ultimately this is me being clinically insane and probably does not hold any significance. it does for me though.
we also get the line "you shouldn't test them (humanity) to destruction", which is EXACTLY what happened with crowley and aziraphale.
crowley reached for heaven but it was aziraphale who actually went, and they got tested to destruction. now they need to put themselves and each other back together.
#alex talks good omens#good omens#ineffable husbands#crowley#aziraphale#good omens season 2#go2#aziracrow#crowley x aziraphale#good omens meta
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"I'm gong to put 'being a WAG' on my CV" part 2
Authors note: The part 2 of this to celebrate Maxie winning the Brazil GP! Sorry it took so long, your girl is a STEM student, life got busy. Also now you know the inspo for the TechCEO!Reader.....
Summary: You come with Max to the Brazil GP to see many things: a win, an engineer.... and to have a long chat about Alexa....
Warnings: English isn't my first language, no use of Y/N, female reader, famous reader, swearing, also slight jabs at Max's dad and a few others...
Word count: 2.9k
It was the first race you had come to watch in a while. You desperately wanted to attend the one in Austin, but you got stuck in New York for work. But here you are, in Brazil, being driven to the paddock at 6:30 am for a delayed qualifying session that was probably going to be in the rain. You were worried about many things: the fans, your looks, the fact that Max's dad was going to be there, and the possibility that Max's ex-girlfriend might also be there, although Max reassured you that they were on friendly enough terms where it wouldn't be a problem.
Also, Max winning. He hasn't won since, like, April. He's been doing better recently, but he still hasn't won. And Norris was getting closer and closer to that number one spot. It was an incredibly chaotic morning. In that pre-qualifying session, Max was doing everything to avoid a repeat of the weekend before. On top of that, he was trying to end a months-long winless streak.
Great.
"Well, at least I brushed my hair today..." you mumble, looking at yourself in the phone camera. You still didn't know how to dress like a WAG. You were wearing jeans, the Red Bull jacket Max got you a while ago, some boots for the rain, and your hair down and brushed, which for you is a big thing. You also put on concealer. Miracle.
You were incredibly sexy to Max, though. Unfortunately, you both knew his father and the fashion police on social media might disagree. He didn’t mind, though. He actually preferred you didn’t wear a high-fashion, tight dress. It would have just been a distraction, not to mention, he wouldn’t see you in anything but a hoodie and a pair of sweatpants in the flat anyway.
"Did you know," you say, trying to make conversation to distract from the anxiety, "that your engineer Michael and I went to college together?"
"Really?" he asks, genuinely surprised. If he was honest, he had no idea what the engineers were like outside of their job. The rain was coming down harder, hitting like stones against the windshield.
"Yeah. So, if he got into MIT, he must be good."
Max chuckles, nodding as he looks at the road in front of him for a bit. His engineer was good, but then again, Red Bull didn’t hire anyone but the best and the brightest from the top of the class. He needed people who could handle the race and perform well under pressure. Suddenly, Max turns to you.
"Remind me again, who graduated top of the class at MIT?"
"Allen Chen..." you say, confused.
He laughs loudly before turning back to the road, his eyes fixed ahead once more. He was impressed that you didn’t even have to think for a second before listing them. That was very much like you.
"God, you’re a nerd..." he mutters affectionately with a smile.
"Says you," you laugh. "It's really raining, huh?"
Seeing your reaction to his little joke made him feel all warm inside. Knowing your sense of humor, you had absolutely no idea what you were doing to him. It was also making Max forget about the race, but at this point, he knew it was a rain delay anyway. "Yeah. Feels like we're in a carwash."
"Well, as a big enjoyer of the laws of physics, the best advice I can give you is to go slow on the turns but speed up when going uphill... There is an uphill, right?"
Max actually paused and turned back to you with a grin. It’s funny how you can switch him from hot to cold so swiftly. He still wasn’t convinced you weren’t doing it on purpose. But he couldn’t help but be amused and also impressed. "There are two hill sections, yeah. You sure you never thought of becoming a race engineer instead of becoming a nerdy billionaire?"
"I was gonna be one, but I had to drop out of college, you know, to run the company."
"You had to?" he said with an amused smirk. Max was well aware of the fact that you could buy out the entire campus if you wanted to. But he’d be lying if he said your workaholic tendencies didn’t slightly concern him.
"I tried, but it was really hard. And also, I had to move to New York—"
"Babe, you can run your business in every country imaginable and you’re telling me attending one university was too much?" Max knew he was being a smartass about it. This was more than just the workaholic in you, though. You were also a very stubborn creature, to say the least.
"Okay, I just went to college to get the visa, there, I said it. You happy?"
He chuckles, the car coming to a halt as you arrive at the paddock. The rain is hitting the sides of the car loudly. Max turns to you with a playful smirk. "See, was that so hard? But I’m happy if you’re happy, babe."
You walk out, people with umbrellas waiting for you. There were people taking your pictures as you walk into the Red Bull garage. You introduce yourself to everyone new, and a few of the engineers want pictures with you.
"Hey, we went to MIT together," you say to Michael.
"You remember?" he says, shocked.
"Of course I do," you say before Max pulls you to walk back to the driver’s area.
Max had been watching you talk to the engineer and the others with a faint smile on his face. You had been able to charm all of them within 30 seconds. It wasn’t particularly surprising, but he was still amused. He didn’t think many people realized just how captivating you were.
When you’re done talking to Michael, Max takes you to the Red Bull garage.
"That was easy. How did you make friends with my mechanics so fast?" he asks with a small chuckle.
"You might be a legend to regular people, but I'm a legend to nerds."
"Do I want to know how that happened?" he asks, amused. He knew you had always been incredibly smart and talented, but he had no idea you actually had a bit of a nerd fandom attached to you.
"I’m running a billion-dollar tech company," you say, shrugging.
He looks at you for a moment, his eyes wide. He always somehow keeps forgetting that you’re a goddamn genius. Because whenever he looks at you, he can only think how goddamn beautiful you are.
And yet you say stuff like that as if it’s normal.
You kiss his cheek. "I'll leave you to go ride fast. I'm gonna see if Michael will let me sit with them during quali." Max smirks as you say it before you kiss his cheek. He’d always found your ability to go from incredibly sexy to super nerdy to be insanely attractive. It was one of the things that made him fall in love with you in the first place.
"Sure thing, nerd. Have fun." Max jokes before giving you a kiss on the forehead.
You stayed with the engineers during quali, both because it was super interesting and also to avoid Max's dad in the front of the garage.
And then the rain fucked it all up.
All up.
Max was out of Q2.
He was 17th.
You all saw him and his dad raging in the front of the garage.
The whole quali was a mess, with so many crashes, slips, and generally poor driving in the heavy rain and fog.
As Max got out of the car, soaked and drenched from the rain, he slams the door shut in sheer anger. This whole quali was a shitshow from start to finish. So many poor decisions, so much poor driving. He wasn’t even the worst offender. And he was still only P17. In the garage, he could still hear his dad going on a rage, but he just couldn’t. Max was too annoyed and frustrated to listen.
"Well, that was shit," you say, turning around to Max from where you were sitting.
He didn’t even notice you were nearby until he heard your voice. He turned around to look at you, his hair and shirt completely soaked from rain and sweat. But he couldn’t help but smile at your comment.
“That’s putting it lightly…”
"They definitely fucked you all up with that delayed yellow flag," you say, taking off the headphones and walking over to him slowly. "Save my seat for the race, guys."
He’s about to open his mouth to answer when he finally notices the headphones around your neck and realizes you had actually been in the garage the whole time. Despite how bad the day had been so far, he’s still very impressed that you’re here in the garage and not in some skybox with champagne in your glass. As you come closer, Max can’t help but wrap his arms around your waist and pull you close, not caring how soaked he is.
You hug him back. "It's fine. At least you didn't crash like some of them. Take a breather and then you'll do great at the race later." You take a Snickers out of your pocket. "Calm down now. You're not yourself when you're hungry. Here, eat a Snickers."
He raises an eyebrow as he sees you take out a Snickers from your pocket. It wasn’t the most normal thing to have in a pocket, but somehow it wasn’t surprising at all. It was definitely very you. He also couldn’t help but think that you were probably the type of person to carry emergency snacks around in case anyone was hungry.
“How many of those do you have on you?”
"A few. They're for you if you want them. You know I'm a Mars person," you say, showing him the inner pocket of the Red Bull jacket he got you.
He smirked slightly. The fact that you were so casually admitting to carrying around a little bag of Snickers for him was hilarious. But knowing how much you care and how much you want to make sure he’s doing okay, it wasn’t actually that surprising at the same time.
“Of course you are… Can I have another one?”
He unwraps the second one and pops it into his mouth, chewing on it slowly as he looks at you. Max takes a seat in the chair behind him, his legs spread wide as he leans back, exhausted.
“…come here…” he says, pulling you to sit on his lap. You blink as you realize what he wanted.
He looks at you with a pleading look in his eyes. He usually wouldn’t ask for something like this because he knows you weren’t the type for public displays of affection in the slightest. But for some reason, he was feeling particularly needy, and he knew you would most likely not refuse if he looked at you this way.
He’s surprised at how easy it was to convince you, but it probably has to do with how terrible this weekend has been and how miserable he looks. Or maybe you’re just extra nice today. Who knows…
As you sit on his lap, the other engineers laugh.
"That's right. I know how to code and I get laid," you say, making them all laugh. "You should go have lunch and then be ready for the race."
He hums in agreement. He knew you were right, but he was still very reluctant to let go of you now that he’d finally gotten you to sit with him. He’s well aware that the others are probably still watching you.
“One kiss, please?”
You roll your eyes and give him a quick kiss. You ruffle his helmet hair as you stand up. "Go."
“See you after the race?”
You nod and wink. Max’s heart skips a beat as you wink at him, and he gives you a small smirk in response. There was something insanely attractive about your confidence and how well you handled yourself in this environment.
Before the race, you came to the front of the garage to wish Max good luck. You saw him talking to his dad in Dutch. "Hey, just wanted to say good luck," you say from the door.
His dad noticed you first as you came in from behind Max. Both Max and his dad turn to look at you, Max’s features immediately softening as he sees you. He had to hold himself back from just immediately coming up and giving you a hug… his dad was standing literally next to him… He takes a deep breath, his voice still sounding a bit tense and nervous as he looks at you with a forced smile. “Thanks, babe… Thanks for coming…”
"I'll be with the engineers. Just be calm; it's gonna be a good race regardless."
Jos, Max's dad, nods at you politely. You smile at them both and then leave.
Max watches you leave, his smile turning much more genuine right after. He really did get lucky, being able to be with such an amazing person. Even his dad seemed to acknowledge it with a respectful nod in your direction.
Max looks at his dad, taking a breath as he can somehow feel a lecture coming.
".....Ik denk dat als je het uit moet maken met de dochter van een drievoudig wereldkampioen... Je hebt haar in ieder geval vervangen door iemand die heel rijk is...." his dad said.
Max looks at Jos, his face already turning into a frown as he starts his little speech. He already had his suspicions as to where this is going, but he knew he won’t be able to stop him anyway, so he just listens.
"...... Ze is een beetje raar. Maar... Niet de slechtste die je hebt uitgekozen..... Denk je dat zij mij kan helpen met het installeren van het volledige camera-AI-systeem op mijn nieuwe plek?"
The question takes him off guard a bit. He didn’t expect his dad to actually say something like that at all. He looks at him for a moment, his expression conflicted. On one hand, he didn’t like the idea that his dad wants to ask you something like this. On the other hand, he’s well aware that you would excel at something like that… “I wouldn’t be surprised…”
Max won the race. After a red flag and on-and-off rain, Max was the winner of the Brazil GP after a 10-race no-win streak. You run to the barrier with Christian, the Red Bull team principal, cheering with the team as Max comes into the garage. Max parks the car in the garage, exhausted by the long and hard race, but elated by the victory. He gets out of the car, helmet in hand, as he walks up to the rest of the Red Bull team, adrenaline still running through his veins. He looks around at everyone, giving them all some high-fives and handshakes as he walks through the garage. But he’s most excited to see you, standing by the side, cheering together with Christian.
Max immediately makes his way towards you and Christian. He gives the team principal a high-five, but his main focus is on you, of course. He looks at you with a tired but joyful smile as he finally comes up to you.
“Hey there…”
"Whoooo! That was one hell of a race!
He wraps his arms around your waist, hugging you tightly, not even caring that he got you all drenched with rain and sweat. “That it was…” He gives you a quick kiss before going to do the post-match interview and then into the cooldown room.
As he stood on the podium, you cheered loudly from the bottom.
"Hey there champ," you say, coming through the door of the trailer a bit later. "We were thinking of dinner? And by we I mean your dad and I.... He has an Alexa?" you say, confused.
Max looks up from his phone, his face brightening almost instantly as he saw you in the doorway. His eyebrows raise in surprise at the mention of his father. Though he supposed it wasn’t really a surprise, the two of them were supposed to go out to dinner together after all.
“An Alexa?” Max asks, a look of bewilderment on his face.
"He asked me if I could set him up an AI house helper, and I was like, 'an Alexa?'"
Max nods and shakes his head, amused, a little chuckle leaving his lips at the thought of his father coming up to you with those kinds of requests.
“You’re gonna have to be careful, he’ll be asking you to install a whole AI security system in his house next…”
"....he does know my corporation is a partial owner of Ring cameras, right?"
“Maybe we should keep that little fun fact secret from him for now…”
You hug him tightly, more intimately as he stands up. He hugs you back, his arms sneaking around your waist to hold you tight against his body.
“Could you do me a favor?”
"What do you need? An Alexa?"
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My Michael Afton throughout the years! ft. his own little doodles. I'll try to be brief about the timeline and how my Michael was without saying too much since it'll be explored in the Hidden Hands AU fic's chapters anyway so I won't say all the details. Feel free to read if you guys like! I have a lot to say about him.
1983 (FNAF 4) - Michael was 12 or 13-ish when the Bite happened. Very reckless yet adventurous kid. Didn't really hate Evan (William, as much as he had a soft spot for Evan, still loved Michael all the same), just had really bad friends and influence (his friends were mostly bullies) - and didn't really like that he's being told to parent a little brother he had no idea how to take care of. It didn't help that Evan tended to be a tattle-tail sometimes about the trouble he was getting into. Michael also, deep down, got scared of what the bullies would do to him if he dared stand up for his brother or spoke out against them, so he ends up going along with what they did for his own sake. After the Bite, Michael was still deeply guilty about what he did to Evan, and it haunts him every night, knowing he had no good excuse but irresponsibility for what he did to his brother, because after all, it wasn't like William wasn't giving him enough attention. Michael just knew that he deserved anything unfortunate coming to him, but is genuinely surprised that his father kept telling him he loved him all the same. From this point on, he becomes easily troubled, tends to stay close to his dad. Makes sure he follows the rules and doesn't do trouble. Just wants to do a complete personality shift, and is deeply ashamed of who he was before. 1985 (Charlie's death, Fredbear's Family Diner shuts down) - Michael was 15 here. Over the years, he slowly isolated himself from most of the people in his life since he gets worried about his past scars coming back to haunt him. Mostly a recluse and reserved. He's not handling things well after Charlie's death and a family divorce - not to mention the non-existent social life he had. Just prefers to be left alone, but he's nice if you get to know him. Doesn't really have a good relationship with Elizabeth, but is actually pretty close with William. Feels extremely guilty and hates himself/blames himself for Charlie's death. He gets paranoid easily, as he thinks whoever took Charlie is now after him, but his father tells him to not worry too much about it. 1987 (FNAF 2) - (17) Slowly having a good relationship with Elizabeth. Starts to get into stuff like the supernatural and becomes superstitious to a degree over the years. In public, he's mostly polite and nice, but his actual personality shows through whenever he's with his father or Elizabeth - he's sarcastic, and has quite a dark sense of humor, can be a bit of a rebel, he's just more subtle about it. A bit of an over-thinker - he gets lost in his imagination/head easily. Has a (surprisingly) good relationship with his dad, as he's not really afraid to be himself around him - sometimes gifts him funny things or something he knows his dad would love/would use (he gifts William a rabbit's foot - for good luck, he says). He also helped William build the Fun-Times with blueprints and other technicalities (He's not really aware of the questionable features they had, unfortunately). He couldn't really come with his father and Elizabeth on Circus Baby's Pizza World opening due to things he had to catch up with his home-schooling, he had been skipping classes to work on the Fun-Times, but he really wanted to graduate highschool with a bang, so he's giving everything his all, here. Then Elizabeth suddenly goes missing all of a sudden, and, well... I would say more, but my fic sort of takes a canon-divergence route around FNAF 2/SL-FNAF 1 so that would spoil half of the stuff I've been working/writing about! Reference-sheet wise, I just wanted to show how he progresses from a rebellious, happy and adventurous kid into a more reclused, anxious and soft-spoken adult. Sorry for the long post! I've just been wanting to talk about him for some time now. There's a looot more that I've left out but yeah that's because there will be more in the fic!
#yeah in this au my michael and william actually have a decent father-son relationship even after the bite. even after all that will's done.#michael just... isn't aware of what his dad did yet for the meantime.#ik william isn't a great father at ALL in canon but let me WRITE my AU the way i want okay?#hidden hands au#fnaf au#five nights at freddy's#fnaf#fnaf fanart#michael afton#mike afton#fnaf michael afton#fnaf mike afton#long post#my art
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Dumb & Poetic
Michael Berzatto x F!Reader
Summary: Michael and you cannot communicate anymore without screaming at each other, but you've managed to keep that out of the workplace. Except for today. Your argument reaches a boiling point, and you have a big blowout in the kitchen in front of everyone. You end up apologizing to each other at the end of the day in the only way you know how to.
CW: +18, explicit, heavy angst, complicated relationships in the workplace, smut, vaginal sex, hate sex, making out, misogynistic comments.
Word Count: 2,2k
— Links: AO3 // Michael Masterlist
The kitchen is on fire, and it's not because everyone is working their asses off. It's only because of the heated argument you're having with Michael.
If your hands weren’t busy with the sandwich you’re making, you would definitely close your fist and sock him in the face. You don’t condone violence, but right now, he's earning himself a good punch. Breaking his nose could be the only thing that would stop him from relentlessly nagging at you while you work. There's fire in your knuckles already, itching to hit something. Anger is really starting to fester in your stomach as he keeps yapping in your ear about nonsense. You give him one more minute before you either swing your fist or quit altogether. It'd be pretty funny to leave him in the lurch with the show full of people anxiously waiting for their food. You're understaffed, overworked, and lacking better management. He knows it, you know it, everyone and their mother in the neighborhood knows it. And yet, Michael refuses to listen to reason. The only thing he loves listening to is himself talking.
If you had other options, you’d certainly drop what you’re doing and walk right out the door. It'd take you to be as much of an asshole as he is to just leave him stranded today. Unfortunately, you can’t afford the luxury of quitting this job.
Turning heads on your way, you yell at each other, going back and forth between everyone working tiredly on the tight kitchen space. It's not unusual for you to fight, but today there's a time bomb ticking that holds something inside more complicated than any of you can understand.
You knew mixing business and pleasure was a mistake. Yet you jumped, eyes closed. It serves you right, you're hitting your head against the bottom of the pool for not following your gut. You knew Michael was trouble, also your boss, and that didn't stop you from getting into bed with him.
Now everything is a mess. You can't communicate without screaming at each other. All the back and forth between being together and apart has burned the last bridge between you and Michael, and there's nothing you can do to fix it when he's not willing to do his part in helping you.
“Orders are piling up. You either move out of the way, or join the party. So help me God, Michael.” You throw your knife with disdain into the sink before you do something you might regret.
“You still haven’t answered my question. Why did you change the menu without telling me?”
“I tried! I called you ten times, and you never picked up. And I didn’t change the menu. I just added a special for the weekend to try it out. See, it’s working.” You use your hand to point at the kitchen window crowded by heads on the other side. “You said you were leaving for two days, and you were gone for over a week. You think that’s normal, to go on a bender and leave us to fend for ourselves? You got orders, bills, vendors to deal with… You're being fucking irresponsible. Has anyone told you that? ”
“Give me a damn break. You have no idea what I have to deal with. You've been working here two days and act like they own the place. Who the fuck you think you are?”
“I've been here two years, Michael! Two fucking years carrying your sorry ass around. You’ll be lost without me, asshole!”
“I'd be lost without you? That's rich.” He scoffs loudly. “I taught you everything you know.”
Now it's your time to snort. “You showed me how to make your stupid sandwiches. It's not like you taught me how to cure cancer. You should be grateful I care enough to do something about it.”
“It wasn’t your place! You added chicken to my menu. Beef. We serve beef.” He points at the logo on the shirt he's wearing. “Can't you read, sweetheart? If we start serving chicken, people are gonna get confused.”
You roll your eyes intently.
“I told you, it's just for the weekend, Mr. Beef.” You have to hold yourself back from throwing the wrapped sandwich in your hands at him.
“Yo, cousin, since when we do chicken specials.” Richie walks in, protesting, from the front of the shop.
“Ask the smartass here. Thinks she knows better than all of us.”
“Well, I don't know about smart, but she certainly has a good ass.” Richie laughs.
“Oh, look at your other half agreeing with you. What a surprise! That's sexual harassment, by the way, Richard. And you're late, as usual.”
“Take it to the police, sweetheart.”
You feel like you're the one who's taking this place more seriously than both of them. Perhaps you shouldn't even try anymore. If Michael doesn't care enough to make this place better, why should you? You're sick of busting your ass for nothing. You should just take a step back and let him drive this hole further into the ground.
Done with arguing with someone who doesn't even listen, you turn around and go start on the next order.
“Hey, I'm not done talking to you.” He, of course, follows behind you.
“Well, I am. Stop wasting my fucking time.”
“Not until you apologize for going over my head and changing things around without consulting me.”
You almost burst into laughter.
“The only one who needs to issue an apology is you, Michael. Not me. I've done nothing but bringing life into this fucking dark hole you've created. You're just too obtuse to see that.”
“You've got some fucking nerve. And who do you think is paying for all the chicken you ordered? Did you get a new vendor?”
“I know a guy. He got me a discount on the first order.”
“Really? Vendors I know don't usually do that. Did you have to suck his dick or something? Cause that's the only—”
He can't finish his sentence because before you know it, the back of your hand is swiftly flying across his face. All that vitriol that was boiling inside, begging to get out, ends plastered on his cheek that quickly turns red. Your knuckles hurt from hitting his jaw, but it was worth it.
Suddenly, you notice almost everyone in the kitchen is looking at the two of you, caught in the middle of the space in a standoff.
It takes him a second to tell everyone to go back to work. You can see him fuming, but he doesn't respond or retaliate to your aggression.
As much as he deserved it, you almost regret it immediately. At least you got him to shut up for the time being. You take a ten-minute break and finish the rest of your shift without more altercations or Michael pestering you, thankfully. You're not sure if you want to come back tomorrow. You're done with his shit. It's not worth it anymore. You'll have figured out something else, cause this is never going to get better, and today was proof of that.
Almost everyone is gone when you decide to have a word with Michael after closing.
“Hey,” you say, standing by the open door to his office as he looks up from the pile of papers on his desk. “I'm going to take a couple of days off from my vacation days.”
“Yeah, I think that'd be best.” He agrees.
“Are you going to fire me?”
“It has crossed my mind.”
“Well, are you?”
“Sit down” He motions at the empty chair while he stands up to close the door behind you.
“I'm not sitting down. I'm tired of arguing with you and I wanna go home. Just tell me, Michael. No hard feelings. We'll go our separate ways, and you'll never have to deal with me again. ”
“I'm not firing you, okay? Please sit. I have something to say.”
Begrudgingly, you sigh and sit in the chair with your arms crossed while he leans on the edge of the desk.
“Look, today got out of hand, and I'm sorry for my part. I shouldn't have said that.”
“It was way out the line. But I shouldn't have slapped you, either.”
“Did it feel good to slap me?” his lips pull up at the corners.
“Maybe a little.”
You both smile for a moment, but you know there's more to say.
“I appreciate you helping here, but you can't make decisions like that when I'm gone. You should have told me first.”
“You never listen, Michael. This isn't something new. I've been telling you for months. This place needs to change, or you're going to lose it. I thought it meant something to you, but hell, what do I know? But don't worry, I'm butting out from now on. It's your business, do what you want with it.”
“I highly doubt you can do that, sweetheart. You and I both know you won’t be able to stay out of it. You just love being a pain in my ass too much.”
No, you're done for sure. If he can't at least meet you halfway, you're done trying. You can't fix this place cause you can't fix him. And that's the main issue here.
“Believe what you want, Michael.” You stand up to leave, but he's surely not even close to being done with you.
“Wait, there's something else I gotta say.”
“What?”
He steps closer in your direction, and you almost flinch when he brings his hand up to touch your face. Sighing, you let him cup your face while he leans in to kiss your mouth. It's so puzzling the effect he has on you. It’s dumb and poetic. He keeps fucking with your head like it’s some kind of fetish, and you keep letting him for no reason other than you can’t help but caring for him. You wish you didn’t, but you do love him more than you’d like to admit.
“Your lips are moving, but I don't hear any talking,” you mumble against his kiss.
“Hm, I wasn't done yet,” he licks his lips and then the tip of his tongue traces the shape of your mouth before sliding past your lips to do his talking. You don't give in so easily to his dirty antics. He's going to have to earn it.
It takes you a moment to respond to the bidding of his tongue that moves slowly against yours, begging you to kiss him back.
You should know better by now that this won't end well. This is a path you've walked many times before, and every time you end up regretting ever stepping onto it. You should duck, run, kick him in the balls, but you’re far too deep into the mind-numbing rhythm of his tongue that casts an impossible spell on you to do anything but argue with your tongue. As the heat rises, the hunger of your lips locking becomes unbearably hot to handle. You can barely breathe when you notice his hands roaming all over your body, claiming it as if it was his.
“God, I hate you so much,” you grunt into the kiss, pulling slightly from his mouth to see the vicious red that has plumbed his lips.
“I hate you more, baby,” he huffs, sucking your bottom lip between his teeth as he presses his crotch between your legs. “That’s how much I despise you.”
“Not as much as I do.” You undo the buttons of your jeans before grabbing his hand and shoving it into your panties to make him feel how soaked you are already.
Dark eyes lock with yours as he viciously massages your whole pussy. Before you know, you’re turning your back on him, and bending over his desk, pulling your pants and underwear down so he can fuck you from behind.
There’s no time wasted, as you brace your elbows to the table, he smoothly buries his cock in your opening, collecting all your juices. He’s hard, and you're soft in all the right places for him to thrust firmly without hurting you. His hands grip your ass while the pace of his hips quickly drive you out of your mind. You feel every stroke and thrust rippling through your body, kindling a fire within your core. You glance over your shoulder to see him darkly staring at you before smacking your ass with his palm.
“How do you like that now, huh?” He snarls, slapping your ass a second time harder, earning a moan out of you. “Yeah, I know that’s how you like it, sweetheart.”
You then hang your head and let him drive you closer to the edge. You can feel his cock twitching inside you as you send one of your hands between your legs to touch your clit.
“What? You got nothing to say now?” He leans forwards to grunt in your ear. “Good. You look prettier with your mouth shut.”
“Fuck you, asshole,” you moan as his hand follow the path of yours to helps you take care of your clit as you both nearly touch that last final line.
With the help of his fingers, and those final firm erratic thrusts, you quickly come undone, letting your walls flutter around him, bringing him down with you. He spills himself inside, holding on to you as you and him are momentarily taken by that jolt of bliss that ripples from his body to yours and vice versa.
— credits: divider by @bernardsbendystraws
#bernthirst tv tribute#michael berzatto#michael berzatto x reader#the bear#the bear fanfiction#mikey berzatto x read#jon bernthal#jonbernthal fanfiction#fanfiction#angst#smut#darlingwrites
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Hello! A question: How would the Slashers react to seeing that their partner prepared a dessert with a somewhat sadistic theme? (Context: I saw a video where there is a person who makes a cake with details of a face, and when you cut it juice comes out of the red fruit, he also makes cookies with eyes [Clearly they are not real])
Sorry if my spelling is wrong, but it's because I don't know many English
Slashers Reaction to their S/O Decorative Baking.
A/N: I got inspiration from 3 different tiktoks here. A bit sillier and fluffier than I wanted it to be. Michael's is a bit steamy
Thomas Hewitt
Luda Mae's kitchen is about ten degrees hotter than it usually was. You had dusted off her old gas stove and set it alight, going to town on the limited ingredients the off-the-grid household had collected throughout all the victims. Usually you put together small desserts, cookies, cake, but today you had really thought of an idea. You molded together the dough you had in your hands- pulling at the substance until it slightly resembled the nose bridge of a victim.
The pie was cherry today, tomorrow it could be something else but today it would be cherry. You giggle to yourself, the facial features of an uncanny valley freak of nature decorating your pie crust.
A light tapping breaks you out of your daze, you blink away the concentration to look at your husband. He gives you a concerned look. "I want you to feel like... I'm taking an interest in your hobbies." He turns away for a moment, but he looks back quicker than you would've thought. You wonder what he' s thinking but not for long before he's waiting at the table for you to finish.
Thomas has always wanted a family, a wife, someone to take care of. He forgets the improbabilities when he comes in from a long day of work and he smells your creations.
He thinks you're funny. He watches from behind sometimes; you're focused and locked in on some facepies. You shape each and every nose with love, and he turns his head away from Luda Mae when she briefly questions if maybe- he traumatized her a little bit.
Jason Voorhees
"Jason!" You called him from the other room, ecstatic with your new creation. You shift back and forth on both feet until he finally drags himself into the kitchen area for you to show him your treat. He blinks down at the Pyrex pan you are holding towards him, the red drip of- blood? rolling down- what would seem to be intestines? You still don't have his attention; this is a day job for him. "They're cinnamon rolls!" You beam at him, and that's what gets his attention. He nods with approval, and you begin to make him a plate.
As the two of you settle onto a water-logged, oak dining room set, he lift's his mask and eats at your snack slowly. You watch intently, proud of yourself for the decorating skills- and - for taking care of your boyfriend so well. He finishes up, looking back up at you and never mentioning that he hasn't tasted anything in a few decades.
His mom used to bake for him, she didn't use such... expressive techniques... but you're still appreciated.
Will eat everything you bake, he has no aversion to your decorating, but they don't affect him either way. He's got larger fish to be afraid of, like underage drinking.
Michael Myers
You sit at the dining room table, eyes trained on the wall clock in front of you. 3:17am. Your eyelids droop and you debate throwing in the towel and taking it upstairs for a moment before you finally hear the soft click of your screen door shutting. Michael makes his way into the kitchen, head tilting at the display on your kitchen table. Doll head covered apples? He reaches forward and grabs one off the table. The white chocolate crumbles underneath his fingertips, he looks at it for a moment. You know better than to say anything to him if you actually want him to try it.
He hikes the bottom half of his mask over his mouth, bringing the apple forward to take a bite. You watch, half lidded as he chews and swallows. His mouth upturns slightly and you feel your chest burn with pride. You had spent all day trying to get these right and he liked them. You reached onto the plate and grabbed one for your own, taking a bite and leaning your head back with a pleased moan. "I really outdid myself this time, didn't I?" He takes another bite, licking his lips of the white chocolate specks.
The two of you finish, looking hungrier than before. "What do you want me to make for you next time?" His eyes narrow, pulling the mask back down onto his face. "Maybe a tart?" Your eyes drag down. "Something glazed?"
Biggest sweet tooth ever! This skill of yours has saved you from the blunt edge of a knife quite a few times. There's nothing that keeps him coming home more than the edible arrangement of his favorite body parts you have made up for him.
He relishes in the attention, carefully examining each treat you create for him with precision. You watch him take down whatever you throw at him with such adoration, he tells himself that he only comes back for the food, but he can't help but anticipate the look on your face when you see him enjoy your gifts.
#slasher x reader#horror x reader#fluff#Slasher x reader fluff#horror x reader fluff#Michael Myers x reader#Jason Voorhees x reader#Thomas Hewitt x reader#Michael Myers x reader fluff#Jason Voorhees x reader fluff#Thomas Hewitt x reader fluff
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The shirt headcannon was great, but what if the slashers had matching shirts with their S/O reader? Also if ya in one of the snowy storm states stay safe! ❄ 🧊 ⛸
Slashers React to Couple's T-Shirts
Slashers x Reader (Separate)
Feat. Freddy, Michael, Jason, Thomas, Bubba, Brahms, Norman, Billy, & Stu
You can find the OG T-Shirt request here.
A/N: Such a cute request! And yes, those dealing with the crazy weather, please stay safe! (Also, I couldn't find a better GIF option so I just went with the same one again)
Freddy Krueger
Yep, he wears it over his sweater
Can you expect anything less from Freddy though?
He really enjoys matching with you
He even let out some chuckles when you showed them to him for the first time
"I'm gonna need to make myself a closet if you keep up with this"
He definitely finds the shirts a tad bit cheesy, but he's not complaining
He happily wears the shirt with pride
He becomes a bit upset if you show up not wearing it though
Michael Myers
What even is this?
The first shirt was already bad enough, but this?
He doesn't even like cats
Just gives you a deadpan look
Will let you put yours on, but absolutely refuses to wear his
Barely even wants to touch it to be honest
You quite literally have to force it over his head
And even then, he just complains the whole time
Embrace the moment while you have it, because there's absolutely no way you're going to get that shirt on him again
Jason Voorhees
He smiles wide at these
One of the things he loves is the size difference between you two
It makes him feel like a protector
So you gifting him MATCHING shirts just makes him feel all giddy inside
The fact that they point out the size difference is a plus
He arguably likes this one more than the last (since he actually understands what it means)
He only wears the shirt when you wear yours though
If your washing it or don't have it on, don't expect Jason to be wearing his
Thomas Hewitt
Thomas absolutely fell in love with Beauty and the Beast when you first showed it to him
He didn't think he'd ever find someone like you, but here you were, and that made him relate to the Beast quite a bit
So when you showed him these, he was ecstatic
Immediately puts it on and refuses to take it off for a couple days
Even in the blistering heat of Texas, he wears it
Will always give you a hug when he sees you wearing yours
By the end of the week however, his shirt is noticeably much dirtier than yours
They barely match anymore, but the meaning is still there
Bubba Sawyer
Bubba is all giddy when he sees these
He just thinks the dinosaurs are absolutely adorable
And he honestly gets the joke pretty quickly!
Will insist you both put them on at the exact same time, doing a little spin for each other
He's clapping his hands and bouncing up and down
Will become pretty protective of the garment though
If anyone besides you gets a little too close to him, he puts his arms out as if saying "don't touch the shirt"
He truly finds the shirts a symbol of your relationship, so if any stain or tear occurs, he will literally have a meltdown
Brahms Heelshire
He doesn't find them as funny as you do
But he likes the idea of you matching together, so he allows it
Will try to put your shirt on instead in hopes you don't notice
You do
He thinks you look cute, but he won't admit it
He's still mad that you think you're the boss
I mean, who makes the literal rules around here??
But the moment you baby him and tell him just how good the shirt looks on him, he gives in and accepts his fate
He does wear the cardigan over it, however
Norman Bates
You know Norman isn't one for loud garments
So you thought something simplistic and meaningful would be the best bet
When he first sees the shirts, he smiles and says they look extra comfy for you two
But when he sees your anniversary on the sleeves, he melts
Thinks it's super romantic and gives you a sweet kiss as a thank you
He wears the shirt all the time
Under his button ups, going to bed, lounging around
And you can tell he becomes extra happy when you have yours on too
It's just like having a cute reminder of your love for each other
And Norman is all about that
Billy Loomis
Billy had been talking about getting a new sweatshirt for forever now
So when you came across these, you knew you had to get them
Billy isn't usually one for cheesy things, but he can't stop the small smile that forms on his face
"You're a lifesaver, babe"
Will try it on and practically melt into it
Doesn't specifically ask, but he'll give you a look basically telling you to put yours on too
When he sees you both matching, he can't even lie that he likes it
Will snuggle up with you and thank you
Stu Macher
Stu immediately lets out a big laugh when he sees them
His amusement is quickly deflated when he fully reads the shirts
"Hey!"
You know he's just joking though, since he still has that huge grin on his face
"You're clearly the stupid one, right?"
You just give him a joking slap to the arm
Will make you put yours on with him and pulls out his camera
Takes a million pictures with you and the shirts, finding them hilarious
He definitely insists on wearing them in public since it makes it even more obvious that you're his
He just doesn't want to wear them around Billy
He'll make fun of him
#slashers x reader#slasher preference#slashers headcanon#slashers preference#slashers#michael myers headcanons#michael myers x reader#michael myers#halloween#halloween movie#jason voorhees headcanons#jason voorhees x reader#jason voorhees#friday the 13th#friday the thirteenth#thomas hewitt#thomas hewitt x reader#texas chainsaw massacre#the texas chainsaw massacre#brahms heelshire x reader#brahms heelshire#brahms heelshire headcanon#the boy 2016#billy loomis x reader#billy loomis headcanon#billy loomis#stu macher x reader#stu macher#stu macher headcanons#scream movie
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Simeon has always been one of the most interesting characters in Obey me moreso because he doesn't seem like what he shows on the surface. (Spoilers ahead)
He was originally demoted to an Archangel after being a Seraph alongside Lucifer.
(This whole conversation between them was just sooo good, the mutual agony and the need to comfort each other)
He always talks openly about things he disagrees with even if he knows it opposes his higher ups, he (seemingly) did it after the war and he did so when Raphael announced Lucifer's judgement at Cocytus. All of this despite him genuinely being scared of God (it honestly seems like that is about the only thing that scares this man).
It's very melancholic how Simeon talks about the bonds the brothers have and how he is close to them but never had a chance at being 'a part of them' per say. He yearns for that kind of closeness and love and bonding and it's almost heartbreaking to think someone who often masks his emotions and how he feels had to deal with losing people so close to him so publicly.
And the fact that he didn't want it to happen again, (in this case Lucifer and MC) so he 'borrowed' the ring of light from Michael because he knew he would not be able to get it if he asked directly, all because he strongly believed that's the right thing to do. He does what he feels is right, no matter what and always speaks his truth.
He knew there would be consequences to him doing what he did, but he did it regardless and owned up to the consequences and blamed no one for it.
Here's some of my other favourite things about his character;
1. His relationship with Lucifer
His dynamic with 'Lucy' is genuinely so heartwarming. They seem to know each other too well and feel very comfortable around each other. They know how the other thinks and always seek each other out for advice or chats. It's always fun to see how cheeky Lucifer gets with Simeon and the other way round, both of whom don't show this side of themselves easily. The way Lucifer tries to act all indifferent but was probably the most concerned alongside Solomon when Simeon lost his powers.
2. Nobody can tell what he's thinking; he masks his emotions really well
Diavolo himself talks about how he thinks Simeon is hard to read and in fact difficult to talk to. It's an interesting dynamic in itself because Simeon's the kind of person who has no enemies but there is some level of discomfort distinctly visible amongst the two.
He also has wrath as his attribute, an emotion he does not openly show as often. It's actually quite funny because while he's running his cafe we see time and time again his anger is something everyone is terrified of.
Even in the latest chapter he's struggling but when asked is like nah I'm good. He's very playful in his demeanor, and although immensely kind and patient, he still lacks certain 'angelic' qualities considering he has also been selfish and deceptive.
3. Simeon is a source of comfort to everyone
He's a source of comfort to both Luke and MC and has time and time again been the source of advice and a confidant to MC.
He also made Solomon feel like he has a place to call home and people who care for him (filling some part of one of the issues at the core of Solomon) He goes out of his way to look after this whole grown ass adult.
As Lucifer put it, his ability to get the brothers to calm down with his kindness and quick thinking is something very unique to him.
Lucifer also talks about Simeon really being the only 'normal' one and someone he can talk to in the celestial realm.
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All in all I feel like there's a lot more I could talk about him, but feel free to add more to this. Man needs all the love he can get right now with all that's happening to him. :)
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Hi Neil!
I don't want to sound like a killjoy, but I'm concerned about David Tennant's family being involved in the second season of Good Omens (or Michael Sheen's partner Anna Lundberg in a future season three). I absolutely have nothing against them, I loved Staged just like everyone else, but this is exactly the matter for me: casting them in the series would automatically make me think about Staged or something else while I'm watching GO, and it would distract me from the plot and the magic of it. It would feel somehow like a family reunion, no matter how talented they are as actors (not to mention that there would be nepotism accusations, above all against David. I hope this won't affect the popularity rating, since season three is still hypothetical). I'm not the only one who thinks this might be an issue, from what I read on blogs here on Tumblr (and on the Internet in general) but I feel like there's a sort of tension, like people are scared to say it out loud, because some fans get the wrong idea and accuse them of hating Georgia or Anna or Ty (and that's why I'm asking this anonymously, I don't want to start a fight). I hope you get what I'm saying, it only felt fair to me to let you know whatever concerns some fans might have, and maybe even give you a perspective you weren't considering? Of course you have the last word on this, and if you think this is not a big deal, I trust your judgement.
I wish you a fantastic day! (And sorry for my English, I'm not native, I tried my best!)
Yeah. So, I find that a little creepy, not very creepy, but definitely a bit.
I thought we were lucky to get Peter Davison in Good Omens 2. (He didn't audition. We offered him the part, as I've been a fan of his since 1978, and All Creatures Great and Small. He crushes it, and is heartbreaking, funny, and still somehow the moral compass of the episode he's in.) Ty Tennant auditioned, along with a number of other actors, and got the part because he did it best. (I didn't know who his family was when we cast him. I just liked the audition tape.)
If you're hunting down family connections, David's mother-in-law, Ty's grandmother, Sandra Dickinson, is in the Audible Sandman, too, as one of the Three Witches/Fates/Eumenides etc. And she was cast in it two years before David Tennant (although probably around the same time Michael Sheen was asked to be Lucifer). (I've been a fan of Sandra's since she was Trillian in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in 1981.)
Anyway, I'm sorry you're worried about Peter and Ty's performances, although I promise you have nothing to worry about, and I'm sorry that you worry that our possibly casting Georgia and Anna in a hypothetical and not-yet actually a real thing Season 3 might make people think of Staged and make them not able to enjoy Good Omens any longer. (Had I known people were this easily shaken I wouldn't have appeared in Staged either, in case my name at the front of Good Omens shattered the fragile illusion and revealed to people that the David Tennant and Michael Sheen who play Crowley and Aziraphale are actors.)
Starting in 2017 I was the recipient of mind-mangling quantities of Tumblr abuse for casting David Tennant and Michael Sheen as Aziraphale and Crowley, which was, many people made very clear to me, the worst casting in the whole entire utter history of casting, and something that Good Omens would never recover from, because for a start neither of them looked like the versions in people's heads, and I'd also miscast them badly because everyone knew that if you had to cast Sheen and Tennant, Michael had to play Crowley and David had to put on some weight and play Aziraphale. (It wasn't until May 2019 that people stopped grumbling.) So people worrying I'm going to cast Anna and Georgia in a season that hasn't even been commissioned in parts that haven't been written just makes me smile.
I hope this helps.
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