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ordinaryschmuck · 2 years

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Why do I love Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse?

Aside from the fact that it's about my favorite superhero of all time? Let me count the ways...

The animation. I already know I'm not blowing any minds here, but good word, the animation is SPECTACULAR! By blending CGI models with hand-drawn elements, this is the only experience in a superhero movie that made me feel like a comic book has been brought to life. You might say that "it's not live-action," but that's beside the point. 90% of most MCU movies are practically animated, aside from the 10% that have actual humans on screen. So you should have no qualms when this beautiful masterpiece of a film manages to make you feel like you're watching a comic in motion, to the point where you could pause any frame of animation and turn it into a comic panel. Sidenote, if they make this movie into a graphic novel, I would absolutely buy it. I don't care if it's pointless when I could just watch the movie. Give me that graphic novel version of this gorgeous film.

The opening logos are unironically jaw-dropping. They flash through the many variations each insignia could have/has gone through, giving you a taste of the insanity of what this movie will bring. It also plays into what happens to the characters, meaning that while the story hasn't started yet, we're still given a heavy dose of foreshadowing.

The CCA stamp doesn't get enough credit. For those who don't know, back in the day, comics had to adhere to the Comics Code Authority's regulations, sticking their CCA stamp onto every cover to ensure parents that what was inside was kid friendly. It got to the point where no one took it seriously anymore, and the stamp became an irrelevant system that almost always failed to point out the age demographic for comics. The fact that Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is rated PG makes the callback even funnier.

The opening narration. It introduces us to this universe's version of Peter Parker, who's basically the every-man in the Spider-Man universe (The every-Spider-Man?). He features the highest highs and lowest lows of Spider-Man, showcasing his history and origins in a way that fans will adore while making something entertaining for the 1% of people who somehow never heard of Spider-Man.

Miles' introduction is close to perfection. Making him an artist already earns some relatability points from yours truly but having him jam out to music while doing it turns him into one of my favorite characters that I see myself in. I can't count the number of times I'm drawing something, and I get lost in the music playing in my headphones. I've known this character for less than a minute, and I already see a lot of myself in him. The fact that he procrastinated getting ready and did it all in a rush is just the cherry on top. And given how I look whiter than the snow on a Christmas day and Miles looks...very much not that, I already feel like the writers are doing something right if I see myself in someone like him. Most writers go the route of making a character's race or ethnicity their only character trait. There are some good intentions in that somewhere, but writers forget that without things like personalities, interests, and desires, the character's race does not matter. They're still going to be boring. Give me more Miles Morales, less of the hollowed shells called human beings that you find on the CW.

The one-take of Miles walking through his neighborhood mirroring/contrasting with his walk through school does well to visually explain the disconnect he feels about being in a new school and an unfamiliar environment.

I love Miles' dad. I'll get more to the emotional stuff later, but Jefferson Davis starts out great as someone strict but still trying hard to connect with Miles. It's genuinely heartwarming to see. Plus, that "I love you, Dad" scene…I mean, come on!

The montage of Miles' first day does well in showcasing the pressure the character is feeling. Maybe I'm still relating so much to Miles, but I felt how hard his day was for him.

The video of Olivia Octavius is some solid foreshadowing of the multiversal madness ahead and even better foreshadowing of who Olivia is, considering that Miles JUST blocks her last name. This scene also introduces us to Gwen while subtly hinting at who she is by Miles briefly saying, "I've never seen you around here before.”

Community is playing on Uncle Aaron's TV...That's it. I watched all of Community last year and grew to appreciate seeing a reference or two about it showing up.

Miles' moment with Uncle Aaron is sweet. It shows how things are easy between them, and Miles can rant about anything to the laid-back person his uncle is, in contrast to the eggshells Miles seems to dance around when dealing with his dad. Plus, Aaron showing off the shoulder touch pays off for two great scenes in the future. Not to mention his "hey" sends this bisexual a little...haywire.

Miles spray painting the wall is touching for two reasons. For one, it proves how much sweeter this universe's Aaron is. In other iterations, he manipulates Miles, searching for ulterior motives, primarily for Aaron's selfish gain. Here, it's clear he genuinely cares about his nephew, wanting to share this moment with Miles and have fun in a way the two should. It's also touching to see Miles express himself. We got a taste of his phenomenal talent near the beginning, but to see him make that masterpiece that he made proves how much of an artist he really is. It really is the best way to make this Miles not only unique but also engaging.

The spray paint getting sprayed on the corner of the screen is also a nice touch. They didn’t have to do it, but they did, and I love it.

The Spider bite. The thing that fundamentally changes Miles' life, and the lives of other Spider-People before him, for now, and forever...and he swats it like it was nothing. That's...incredible.

Miles reacting to his spider bite, however, leads to a collection of great moments that are awkward as they are hilarious.

By the way, have I mentioned that this movie is funny? And not in your face with it like other Marvel movies. I mean that Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is naturally funny, having great jokes that work well within the situation while never stealing away from the moment. I won't go over all the humorous moments, but I'll definitely talk about my favorites.

Like Miles' interaction with Gwen post-spider bite. It's awkward in all the right ways, and his facial expression as he stiffly places his hand on her shoulder cracks me up every time.

The "Who's Morales?" bit is iconic. I told you, this movie is just naturally funny!

Using the Amazing Fantasy comic cover as a reference is great. It's the comic that gave us the best superhero ever made, so it's nice of the animators to throw that in as a callback, honoring the contribution it made to humanity.

By the way, it used to bother me how Peter Parker allowed a comic to detail his backstory, but it just now occurred to me that the Peter Parker in the comic looks vastly different from the one in that universe. That, coupled with the knowledge that he has licensed merch, proves that he allowed this comic as long as the artists made sure his identity remained secret. Just another little detail that makes this movie amazing.

Speaking of small details, I love that Miles has a lot of contacts on his phone. Both his contacts and that one-take in the beginning show that he's a social kid instead of an outcast like Peter, which is nice. It’s for the best that this movie shows that Miles is his own person than a mixed-race Spider-Man

Another fact is that his comic creators are in there too. That's a cute thing to include.

The visual explanation for Miles' spider sense is remarkable. I always get chills with the words "LOOK OUT," illustrating that it's silently screaming in his brain. Gah, such a good scene! Can you marry a scene? Because I want to marry this scene. It's easily my favorite in anything Spider-Man-related.

Peter's fight with Green Goblin is INSANE! Admittingly, when I first watched this movie, it was a little hard to tell what was going on due to so much happening all at once. But, after seeing it for the fiftieth time, I can certainly say that I appreciate how off-the-wall Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse gets with its action, especially with this first fight scene. It's only a taste of what's to come, and I'm glad the film slowly eases you into the more insane scenes by prepping you with a moment like this.

Peter Parker’s introduction to Miles is perfect. The writers do everything right, starting with Peter breaking the ice with a joke, attempting to cool Miles off from his first near-death experience, only to get serious once Peter realizes what Miles is exactly. And I adore how Peter calmly approaches the situation, reassuring Miles that while things will change whether he likes it or not, Peter will be there to help him. Peter doesn't even hesitate when he volunteers to mentor Miles. You get the sense that Peter's excited about it, and, gosh dang it, these writers really did a great job in making him the Every-Spider-Man.

Miles recording Peter's fight with Prowler...Because of f**king course, he does. Wouldn't you?

Kingpin's the villain! This is cool because, while he's mostly remembered as a Daredevil villain nowadays, it's great that this movie recognizes that he started off as a member of Spider-Man's rouge's gallery. And, sure, he lacks the depth that Vincent D'Onofrio had in Daredevil. But he's still pretty threatening and even terrifying, being the character that allows this movie to earn its PG rating.

Plus, his motivation is...good enough. It's not the best thing in the world, but it works just enough to be believable for this character, all while explaining why he's working hard to, you know, break the universe. So, yeah, a solid villain for one of the best superhero movies of all time.

The fact that it's Peter Parker that technically caused the other Spider-People to show up is amazing to me. It proves that without meaning to, he still manages to find a way to save the day. Even if that means pulling other Spider-People from their dimensions...which is ultimately killing them. Yeah, isn't that just classic Peter Parker bad luck for ya?

Also, heh, you can see Peter B. Parker and the others fly away from the explosion. That's funny.

Peter's last words to Miles...Wow. It's one of those moments you know that he knows that he's not going to make it out this time. So, in his last moments, Peter offers as much advice as he can to Miles, telling him what needs to be done and how to do it. What I love most is the fact that he still cracks jokes and still gives Miles the false hope that he'll "catch up," showing that, above all else, Peter cares about making people feel safe and secure. Again, he really is the Every-Spider-Man...Or was, at least.

Peter's eye-roll at Prowler. Even at death, he's still making us laugh.

Miles is a coward...It feels weird to say that's something I love about this film, but it's true. Miles starting off as someone who runs and hides instead of trying to help Peter Parker does the job to make it even more satisfying when Miles eventually does find courage and confidence in being a Spider-Man.

Also, his guilt seems more reasonable here than it does in the comics. Miles' guilt in the comics stems from not being there to help Ultimate Peter Parker, even though there's not really anything Miles could have done to help, and Peter was already as good as dead before Miles knew he could help. Here, while it's a lot more likely Miles could die, I do understand his guilt as he's right there and able to do something rather than nothing. So not only does Miles' cowardice set up a great character arc, but it also does its job in making him feel better guilt than his comic counterpart. So, nice job all around.

This version of The Prowler is amazing. His motif, his outfit, his silent badassery. It’s just so perfect.

Miles runs home to his family and not to the school...because his family is where he feels the safest. That just hit me--GAH, THIS MOVIE'S GREAT!

Miles' mom is so sweet. She's mostly remembered for one line, reassuring Miles that their family doesn't run away from things, but that one line proves to you all what you need to know: She's there to tell Miles what he needs to hear, even though she doesn't entirely know how much he needed to hear it. Such a great mom.

New York's reaction to Spider-Man's death. You feel it in everybody, literally everybody. Just the number of people showing up to his funeral proves how much he earned the title of "Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man."

Best. Stan Lee cameo. Ever. This movie came out a month after Stan Lee passed away, and I feel like Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse did the best job of honoring him. Spider-Man really is Stan's greatest co-creation (with help from Steve Ditko, of course), and the best Spider-Man movie being one of the last he made an appearance in really hits hard. RIP, Stan. Thank you and Steve Ditko for the hero that is loved by all.

It's also neat that Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse has a better reason why Miles is wearing a Halloween costume when dressing up as Spider-Man. It was done in the comics to make him easily hide his identity, but it's also in poor taste, to the point where even the characters in the comics point out how it's poor taste. Here, Miles buys the costume in tribute to Spider-Man when going to Peter Parker's funeral, like a lot of people have done. And, well, he already has it, so he might as well continue to use it. Man, this movie really is trying to make Miles' origin story better than it was in the comics, huh?

This movie manages to do the "Jump/Pussy" scene from Venom, and not only is it funnier, but it's also done better. At first, you're laughing at Miles giving up despite the music epically building up about how he's about to jump. But then, after he gives up the first time, he tries again, using a smaller building because he thinks it'll be easier. This movie took a funny scene, then twisted it to visually tell us how determined Miles is to do the right thing! You see, Venom? This is how you actually make a good movie!

Peter B. Parker's narration does a great job of underlining the contrast between him and Peter Parker (also, for consistency, I'll be calling him Peter B. for the rest of the review. It's simpler). While Peter's narration reveals to us his success and zeal for the life he has, Peter B.'s is all about his failures and how much he's given up on life. Already, it's a quick and easy way of proving how different both Peters are, and I don't mind it. Primarily because each narration works well for the film's main running joke and because Peter B.'s is the funniest because what he says clashing with what is shown. I still laugh at that hard cut of him crying in the shower, as mean as that sounds.

The seahorse bit. I mean, come on. The fact that he gets choked up about seahorses mating for life always gets to me.

While Peter B. is getting sucked into the portal, knowing there's no stopping it, his first priority is to get his mask. That tells me that despite how far life beat him with the bad luck stick, he still knows the number one rule of being Spider-Man: Always bring your mask.

Also, he tries to save the pizza...which makes me chuckle. I won't lie.

Peter B. and Miles getting pulled/dragged through the city is the best type of chaos. It's great knowing that while the animation is perfect for some epic fight scenes, it also has some impeccable slapstick.

Peter B. is the Spider-Man that rejects the code: With great power comes great responsibility. That part of Peter B. always intrigues me, and it makes sense. He was beaten down because of great responsibility, so even though it was the last words of his Uncle Ben, he'd rather live without them. Yet that doesn't mean he's done with being a good person. He's tired and burnt out, sure. But he still helps Miles once realizing that he can't just walk away from someone that needs him. It presents an interesting dynamic, for while Peter B. has to teach Miles how to be Spider-Man, Miles is there to help Peter B. remember how to be Spider-Man. Not a lot of people bring that up, and it's what I admire about their relationship.

I don't know about you all, but the diner scene always makes me want burgers and fries, without fail. It just makes the food look so good! Too bad it comes from a restaurant with a C-grade health code...Oh, so that's why it closed down six years ago in Peter B.'s universe.

Aside from their narrations, Peter B.'s advice also clashes with Peter's. Peter B. always offers more practical stuff, telling Miles what to do so he won't lose his mind while being Spider-Man. It works with Peter B.'s character and, once again, proves how he couldn't be further different from Peter Parker. With that said, Peter B. still offers great advice from time to time. Granted, it's when things are actually serious and during danger, but, hey, at least he tries.

Peter B. and Miles thinking is perfect and earned being a meme.

Peter B. coming up with the plan. It proves that he's both intuitive for coming up with it so quickly and simple-minded in thinking it would be that easy. Plus, Miles' interjections offer great humor.

Peter B. saying teenagers are the worst always gets a chuckle out of me because of the fact that Spider-Man is the superhero widely remembered for being a teenager.

Olivia Octavius. GOOD! GOLLY! MISS MOLLY, what a twist! Now, there are a few minuscule hints making it more obvious in hindsight, like the octagon decorating surrounding her and what looks like an arm prototype behind Peter B. With that said, however, I WAS SHOCKED IN THEATERS! This kooky lady who, at first, seems ecstatic to see Peter B. turns out to be an alternate version of one of his worst enemies and was actually fascinated by how he got there and how to kill him. Such a good scene that never fails to give me chills!

And the fight that comes after it is equally intense, fun, and epic.

The funniest moment in the movie is the monitor gag. That is all.

BAGEL! By the way, someone actually cosplayed as that scientist who got BAGELED! Not really a fun fact about the movie, but it is a fun fact about life.

Gwen's narration is probably the most beneficial. Nearly everybody knows about Peter Parker, and I think enough people know about Miles, but I'm not sure how well-known Spider-Gwen was before the movie (and, yes, I know she's called Spider-Woman or Ghost Spider. It's just that Spider-Gwen's more fun to say. Leave me alone). People might know of her but not so much about her whole deal and origins. So, it helps that the movie flies by her origins, telling newcomers what they need to know and leaving them to learn the rest from her comics.

Also, Gwen, come on. Miles is the reason you got that dope haircut in the first place. Let him compliment it.

ALSO also, Gwen's a pretty fun character. I have some problems with how she's in the story, but I do love her punk-rock personality and how she's basically the only Spider-Person with a functioning brain cell...Except for that Gwanda bit, but we don't talk about that. Despite some flaws, Gwen's a character with a lot of humor and solid character interactions, especially with Miles.

Gwen and Miles are adorable together. Have I mentioned that? Because it's true. They don't have much time to develop their relationship (that's for future movies to do), but the time they do have is still pretty darn cute.

Kingpin's flashback is beautifully animated while also paying homage to the art style of the comic his design is based on. It's pretty cool that this already brilliantly animated movie still manages to find different ways to look gorgeous.

This movie has the best Aunt May. Don't argue, Raimi nerds! You know it's true! She kicks ass, accepting of Peter's secret, looks old, and has some pretty snappy one-liners. You see this woman and understand how Peter Parker came to be the man he is--Er, was. If you have a problem with this Aunt May, you can take it up with the baseball bat she used to beat Tombstone. Tombstone! How can you hate an old woman who can do that?!

As for May's interaction with Peter B., it's--Say it with me now--perfect. They're both basically meeting ghosts of people they loved, and May and Peter B. interact the same as if it was the version of each other they've always known. There is genuine heartbreak and love in each of their voices, and you feel every bit of it. Even the jokes about Peter B. being fat and wearing sweatpants doesn't spoil the moment but add to it, showing May's distaste over a version of her nephew letting himself go. It's snark, but snark from the love of a woman who's basically his mother. What did you expect?

The Spider-Cave is awesome! Little weird that Peter Parker, a character known for being as poor as dirt in the comics, has this, but then you remember something: The merchandise. This was a Peter who whored himself out with cereal, Christmas albums, and so-so popsicles. Heck, even the Spider-Buggy, also from the comics, was promotional material. This means that Peter Parker made BANK on the stuff he made, so much so that he was able to afford a cave that would make Batman jealous. It might not be one-for-one the exact explanation for how he has it, but the movie offers enough information to make it a reasonable conclusion anyway.

I want a Spider-Noir movie. I don't care if it's animated or not. I want a gosh dang Spider-Noir movie. And it has to be played by Nicholas Cage. It wouldn't be right if it wasn't because he’s the reason that Spider-Noir is the funniest character in the movie.

I love that every single Spider-Person is totally on board with staying behind and leaving their homes forever if it's the only way to get the others back to where they belong. They're definitely Spider-People, alright. Nobel sacrifices like that are all a part of the DNA.

The scene where the others put a lot of pressure on Miles results in complicated feelings. On the one hand, it's not cool for them to do this. On the other, you understand why. This isn't the typical stopping a mugger or fighting a c-lister. This is a fight to save the multiverse with dozens of people who will make the mission all the more dangerous. The pressure they're making Miles feel is close to what they'll be dealing with in the fight with Kingpin, so what they're doing is somewhat validated through the current circumstances. I may not like it, but I do understand it.

And I've got to give Peter B. credit for being both Miles' hype man and telling the other Spider-People to cool it with the pressure. Out of all of them, he understands Miles a little better and wants to keep the poor boy sane. It's pretty sweet.

Jefferson reaching out to Aaron is also pretty dang heartwarming. You can tell there's some definite tension between the two, but they're still brothers. Family loves family, no matter the mistakes (unless your family is reasonably toxic, in which case, you cut them out yesterday). Jefferson reaching out is a testament to that...Even if Aaron might not have deserved it--Yeah, let's get into that.

The reveal of Aaron being the Prowler...Where do I even begin? Fellow comic nerds already knew this was coming, but that doesn't stop this reveal from hurting. The part that gets me is the score. It expertly portrays the amount of fear and betrayal Miles is feeling at this moment, to the point where you don't even need to see what's happening to understand something tragic is going down.

The chase scene that follows is also pretty intense, added with the red sky and the several moments where Miles barely gets away. It's...You know what it is. It's f**king perfect.

Scorpion looks cool. A little weird, sure, but still pretty badass and intimidating.

My favorite fight in the movie might just be the Spider-People battling the...Fearsome Fivesome? Alright, whatever they're called, they're part of a fun and chaotic fight scene, with playing keep away with the Goober being what adds much-needed tension.

Uncle Aaron's death. I love that they let Aaron die a good man, willing to back down so Miles could go free. It's definitive proof that he actually cared for his nephew, to the point where the first thing Aaron felt upon realizing it was Miles was pure fear. Like, "Oh, crap! Not only did I almost kill my brother's son, but this boy is now in some deep s**t! I gotta help him!" And I appreciate that the writers made Aaron a decent human being rather than a diabolical scumbag who wanted to take advantage of Miles or a coward who tried to kill him because he was too scared to fail Kingpin. Even when Aaron's dying, the first thing he does is apologize for letting Miles down, a sentiment that's as sweet as it is tragic. Aaron may not have been a perfect man, but he died wanting to protect Miles, the love for his nephew overshadowing his greed. And I think that redemption is worth everything.

And, MAN, is his death a gut punch! The writers certainly succeeded in giving Miles his Uncle Ben Moment, with Aaron's last words being motivational in telling Miles to "keep going" and how he's the best of them. It's a bittersweet moment, and Miles' dad mistaking Miles to be Aaron's killer doesn't make things any better.

What is sweet, though, is how all the Spider-People are there for Miles, sharing the tragedy they all went through and confirming that the hardest part about being Spider-Man is losing the people you love. And the biggest miracle is that THE CARTOON PIG DOESN'T RUIN THIS MOMENT! Seriously, what does it say about this movie where the character who's practically a Looney Tune manages to keep the emotional weight of the scene going?

Peter B. being tough with Miles...Ouch. It was necessary. Peter B. was doing it as one final test, giving Miles one last chance that he could come through when it matters. The others were even right outside his window, ready and hoping to let Miles join them. But it wasn't meant to be, and it stings to see Miles at this low point. Thankfully, he has someone to pull him out of this funk.

Jefferson's talk with Miles...Told you I'd get to the emotional stuff. But joking aside, this scene...left my eyes a little steamy this time around. Jefferson visually meets Miles halfway and pours his heart out, sharing the feelings Jefferson usually kept guarded except for a moment when it mattered. Sure, Jefferson doesn't know all the facts about the current tragedy he and Miles are going through, but the words he provides give Miles the spark he needs. The spark that Jefferson has always seen in Miles. And the spark that Miles uses to free himself to take that one last step to being Spider-Man. Or, rather, one last leap.

The "What's Up Danger" scene. Do I really need to explain what makes this scene incredible? I know I keep saying the word perfect a lot with this review, but that's really the best way to describe so much of this movie, especially with this moment. The visuals of Miles rising instead of falling and swinging through the city in succession are awe-inspiring. The score mixing in Miles' hero motif with "What's Up Danger," resulting in a moment that's as pleasant on the ears as it is on the eyes. All of it culminates together for a scene that delivers all of the hype, creating a moment where Miles is no longer Miles Morales. He's f**king Spider-Man. And he earned that title.

Also, a small thing, I love that Miles' suit is one of Peter Parker's, but spray-painted black with Miles' interpretation of the Spider-Man logo. It shows Miles stepping into Peter Parker's shoes but doing it in his own style. It's just a great little detail that not a lot of people mention.

Did Kingpin seriously throw a memorial service for the guy he killed? What a filthy, disgusting man...I love him!

The bread scene is hilarious. It involves a pointless character, but I can't help but crack up at how Peter B.'s attempt to find closure with MJ is through him apologizing about not getting her table bread. Peter B. saying, "I want to fill this room up with bread," is just the cherry on top this hilarious sundae.

I really dig Olivia saying, "Goodbye, Peter Parker." You can tell by the way she said it that she wanted to be the one to kill Spider-Man.

Miles coming in to deliver that punch at Doc Ock is a laptop background in the making.

I love how in a situation where the universe is crumbling apart around them, and bad guys are shooting at them all, THAT is the moment when Peter B. realizes that he wants kids. I'm telling you, most of the time, this movie is just naturally funny.

As for the situation they're in, the collider fight is, without a doubt, the most insane final battle in a Spider-Man movie. All the universes merging and tearing the place apart forces the characters to fight as the environment morphs and forms around them, making it a battle where anything could go down. It results in a pretty fun climax, and I love how the colors match the light tone this fight is going for...remember that. It's gonna come back later.

Spider-Ham DESTROYING Scorpion after he dissed cartoons is an exact representation of what the animation community wants to do when someone calls animation kids' stuff or silly. Let it be known that we'd wreck your shop too if we could.

I love how Miles swinging up to the top of the collider incorporates lessons from both Peter Parkers. Obviously, there's the way Miles copied his universe's Peter moves to get up there, but stealing away the Goober by throwing back Peter B.'s "don't watch the mouth, watch the hands" motto adds a little extra that I appreciate.

Miles' goodbye to Peter B. is a culmination of their arcs, where Miles, the student, finally becomes the master, being the one to trip up Peter B. (with the same move he used on Miles, no less) and tells him to get his s**t together and go home. Peter B. taught Miles a lot, letting him see the importance of Spider-Man, the pressure he has to go through, and the faith he must have. And here comes Miles spitting all that back at Peter B., adding more to how they teach each other how to be their better selves. And I relish that!

Remember how I said the colors were bright in the collider, matching the fun of the climax? Well, the second it's just Miles and Kingpin, the colors become darker and more intense, matching the tone of this final battle between good and evil. It makes things way more cinematic and visually pleasing, so kudos...to whoever I give kudos to in this case. There are SO MANY people responsible for animating a single second--Literally, a single second of animation that it's hard to tell who deserves more credit half the time.

As for the fight itself, IT'S AS INTENSE AS THE COLORS IMPLY IT IS! You feel the beating Kingpin gives Miles, but despite how violent it is, there were always these small glimmers of hope that Miles might get the upper hand. That hope gets beaten down by Kingpin's cartoonishly big fist, but there is still hope nonetheless. And it would grow through the most unexpected places.

Is it a little ludicrous that Jefferson is right there to give the most essential words any Spider-Man needs to learn? Oh, absolutely. Without a doubt. But is it still heartwarming that Jefferson still tells Spider-Man to get up despite thinking he killed Aaron, further proofing how Jefferson's always there to tell Miles what he needs to hear when it's important? You'd better gosh dang believe it.

Miles using the shoulder touch on Kingpin is the best. In a way, that lets Miles and Aaron get revenge.

Seeing into the Spider-verse (ha!) is a gorgeous sight to behold, both for the audience and for Miles.

DID THEY HAND DRAW THAT EXPLOSION?! Gosh DANG IT, this movie is insane!

Dang, Jefferson allowing Miles to throw up his art on the wall warms the heart to the fullest it's ever been when watching this movie. He really wants to do better in reaching out to Miles, even if Jefferson still lays down the ground rules for how Miles should express himself.

And Spider-Man hugging Jefferson is equal parts touching and hilarious.

I'm noticing a pattern. My favorite Spider-Man movies are ones where Spidey webs up the big bad for the police to pick up. Instead of, you know...killing them. I loved it in Spider-Man: Homecoming, and I especially adore it here.

The one-take of Miles walking through the streets as Spider-Man mirrors how he did it at the beginning of the movie and contrasts the one-take at his school. It illustrates that he regained his confidence because how could he not after all the s**t he went through. I'd feel pretty big about myself too.

Miles' final narration does well in tying everything together, recapping events, showing how everyone else is doing, and stating the big lesson of the movie. A lesson that Stan Lee himself believed in, as he always thought that what makes Spider-Man amazing is that anyone, anyone at all, could be under that mask. No matter who they are or what they look like, anybody has the potential to represent the ideals of Spider-Man. And while I'm not a fan of movies spelling out their messages to the audience...It's a Spider-Man movie. Narrating to the audience is as essential for the ending as the final swing is, and this one has both! All around, a good ending...with a tease for more.

Though I will admit, it's not every day when I say that a movie's credits are as visually pleasing as the rest of the film.

And while Stan Lee's cameo is a great final tribute to him, ending the movie with one of his quotes is just as spectacular. Again, rest in peace, Stan.

By the way, I adore "Spider-Bells." Not only does it crack me up that Peter has a mental breakdown halfway through singing it, but it also means this movie is a Christmas movie...Because if people can call Die Hard a Christmas movie, then I can call Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse a Christmas movie too. Leave me alone.

As for final teasers, Spider-Man 2099 looks dope and I cannot wait to see him tear Miles apart in Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse...That felt weird to say, but let the record show that I said with love!

And they got the pointing meme in. Yup, I adore this movie!

So, a pretty flawless film, right?

…Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell–

Ok, I want to make it clear that while there are problems to be had, they don't spoil the movie. Most of them are just nitpicks that always bothered me personally, so don't take them too seriously. With that said...

Where did the spider come from? It's the thing that fundamentally changes Miles' life, and we never really got an answer for that.

Why did Gwen double back on revealing her name? Gwen's a pretty common name to have. And, odds are, the one in this universe looks vastly different to her. We already know Peter B. Parker is different from Miles' Peter Parker, so it's not too much of a stretch. Plus, even if Gwen looks the same, the Gwen we know within this movie is already risking a lot by being out as herself, so why change the name? I know it's a small thing, but like I said, it always bothered me.

And while we're on the topic of Gwen, I'm not a fan of her backstory. Not her origin story, that's fine. But the fact that she was in Miles' universe for a whole week and her spider-sense told her to go to his school is...confusing? If being in Miles' universe is literally killing her, how is she not dead already? And how does spider-sense tell her to go to a new school? As far as I can tell, spider-sense is an alarm system that gives a Spider-Person total awareness of everything around them. Not to act as an instruction manual of what to do in life. I take it that this is an excuse to get her and Miles to interact more and form more of a romantic bond, which I'm fine with because they're adorable together. It's just that I wish this was done in a way that made more sense because, as is, it's making my brain hurt.

Kingpin's design...is laughable. Apparently, it's paying homage to a Daredevil comic's artist interpretation of the character, which I guess it's cool...but he looks ridiculous. And don't get me wrong, I love it when superhero animation goes for a more stylistic approach with heroes and villains instead of a realistic one. It's why Spectacular Spider-Man is my favorite Spider-Man show as opposed to others, because every character looks unique from one another, especially the villains. And while Kingpin certainly looks unique...it's a little too much, and it's the one thing I never take seriously with this film.

Green Goblin! One of the most important and influential villains in Spider-Man's line-up...is wasted as canon fodder, dying just as fast as he's introduced. Kind of disappointing.

Spider-Noir, Peni Parker, and Spider-Ham are great characters. They're each animated in great styles that perfectly convey they're from another universe, have some great jokes, and are overall a good time. The problem? They're...not necessary. You can cut these three out of the movie, and nothing will change. I wouldn't mind if they were characters who were there to add fluff and nothing else, but they're there to also add emotional weight to the story. Take Peni's sadness about SP/dr getting destroyed or the characters all saying goodbye to Miles. I can tell that they're all meant to be heart wrenching moments, but we hardly spend time with these characters to feel like it's earned. Miles barely got time to spend with them, so that, right there, takes the punch out of their sad farewells. Again, they're great characters, and I do love that they're a part of this movie. The only problem is that they're in too short of a film to really deserve the emotional beats.

The Spider-People hiding from Miles' roommate might be the ONE joke that fits the more "In your face" style like other Marvel movies. It spoiled the serious momentum before it, and I feel like they kept it in for the sake of a trailer clip.

Hey! Mary Jane Watson is the worst part of a Spider-Man movie! Yeah, go figure. She's an essential part of Peter's life, but there's no personality to either version of the character we see in this movie. Calling her an over-glorified plot device would be generous. Sorry, MJ, but a Spider-Man movie has, once again, done you dirty. But at least you're pretty good in the MCU...Don't give me that look. You know it's true.

I don't mind Kingpin failing to kill Miles. Villains will stupidly allow the heroes to gain the second wind, and you just need to accept that in superhero media...BUT HOW THE ACTUAL HELL DID MILES, HIS DAD AND ALL THE OTHER NORMAL LIVING PEOPLE SURVIVE THAT EXPLOSION! Look at it! It was massive!

But, seriously, that’s all I have.

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is the best Spider-Man movie. Nerds and losers debate about which of the live-action films are better but note how rarely anyone denies Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse being on top. Can you blame them? With game-changing animation, amazing characters, and a story showcasing everything that's to love about Spider-Man, you cannot get better than this. I look forward to the rest of this trilogy, but I have already accepted that Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse will forever remain at the best that there is, and it'll take actual flawless perfection to change my mind.

#spider-man into the spider-verse #spider man #miles morales #peter parker #peter b parker #gwen stacy #spider gwen #spider noir #spider ham #peni parker #kingpin #aaron davis #jefferson davis #what i thought about

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poodle-anon · 1 year

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☔️ for the ask? I love hearing about concepts! Especially the ones that’ll never hit the paper.

-miniscrew

OH BOY this took a minute to think on but I think I got one @miniscrew-anon

For the life of me I can’t figure out how to write it, but I really really want to explore Wild’s relationship with his dysphoria/lack thereof. I’ve genuinely tried putting it to paper more than once, but each time I can’t seem to get the vibe quite down in a way that resonates with what I enjoy about it in my head

Under a read more because it’s long, and has to do with HRT, gender dysphoria, panic attacks, discussion of needles, and trans!Wild having an overall Bad Time for a day within a 99.99% positive experience being trans otherwise.

As a disclaimer upfront, I am transmasculine nonbinary myself, and feel that I have a right to depict explorations of that experience in combination with binary ftm experiences. Also, this is NOT a story about detransitioning or “forced feminization,” do NOT get it fucking twisted or I will hunt you down. I will find you. This is about euphoria and dysphoria and happiness with one's body but clothing/presentation causing issues.

So for background, in my headcanons, I’m pretty convinced that Wild normally doesn’t experience dysphoria at all - something that very much separates him from Champion, whom is a very binary trans man. Wild woke up in a very masculine post-transition non-op body, Champion had been very satisfied with himself and his transition, having begun it as a teen with access to puberty blockers prior to hrt, so he never went through estrogen puberty. Wild is at first pretty bad at keeping track of and administering his hrt shots, something that Champion was very strict about and pretty much never failed to keep up with. At first, the other guard boys had to help him with them when he did remember because the anticipation of a shot is TERRIBLE for wanting to get it done when you have adhd and it’s something you don’t really think matters in your own personal upkeep. Eventually, Wild just kinda gives up on it with a happy shrug and carries on his merry way in his very androgynous body, transness usually being a fun afterthought for him. Even when he starts retaining fat differently, and growing breast tissue through lazy estrogen puberty, he’s having fun with this new experience! Heck yeah more gender fuckery, he’s having a great time being a man while doing it. Nobody in his life invalidates his gender over it. Period.

However.

There is an idea that I must credit to Stormy for sparking but has been making me lose my mind (/pos) over ever since, wherein at some point Wild goes to the mall with one of the other boys (possibly Hyrule, possibly Wars and Sky, never been able to figure that one out) to shop for higher end lingerie. (I see this fic as separate from and kinda irrelevant to the second puberty concept, so disregard that point for now and play with me in this space.) And he picks out some really cute finds! He's very happy with some lacy little numbers that he knows will go well with his eyes or whatever, but you know how they make lingerie that comes in pairs with bras that are equally as cute? Well, he goes to try one on, and standing there in the changing room, looking in the mirror, the world kinda stops.

There’s this overwhelming sense of badwrongbad while looking at himself in a bra. He doesn’t recognize the person in the mirror, he doesn’t like that person, and has no real way of articulating it to himself why.

Now, bear in mind, Wild very technically is a dissociative fugue state initially brought on by a severe concussion, which is a WHOLE OTHER can of worms I hope to explore one day. As thorough of a personality change there is though, he’s not as stable of an existence as I think he presents

So something about how he feels about seeing this sets off a dissociative panic attack that is probably the closest thing that he’s ever come to Champion surfacing into active memory, bearing some resemblance to the one in The Brave that was set off by Time playing the ocarina.

But is the bra too small? The wrong material? Who knows. Doesn’t matter. He’s suffocating. His skin itches like hell. He needs this thing off now.

Once he exits, the guys he’s with immediately notice a shift. He’s uncharacteristically serious for a beat or two, maybe even recognizable if he’s with the guard boys, but if he’s not nonverbally putting stuff on the reject rack, Wild laughs it off as nothing being wrong. Either Wild or someone else points out they can go get a smoothie after Wild decides he’s not buying any clothes, and his day gets a little better. The temperature of it maybe makes his nipples a little hard and Wild doesn’t know why he’s so aware and uncomfortable with that right now, but the others might also notice that he’s still periodically itching where the band and straps were until they get home.

By the time they leave the mall, he’s more or less fine and all of the Overwhelming Dread has passed. That night though, he puts a blanket over the mirror in his room. And when he curls up in bed, there’s this shuddering sigh that leaves him. That kind where you're just on the edge of crying but don't.

Anyway thanks for coming to my TED talk :)

#POODLE ANON ANGST REAL???#For the record digital footprint has champ as cis because that was before it was retconned in stormy fics #townhouse au #hsh wild #hsh champion #st0rmyverse #cw dysphoria #cw needles #cw panic attack #cw dissociation #poodle barks #ask game #DAMN this got long #hope it makes a lick of sense and is actually enjoyable to read lol #shit i forgot to tag miniscrew srry #the twilight bark

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deansbaby1967 · 1 year

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Supernatural Imagine

Name: Quinn

Nickname: Q

Age: irrelevant lol

Yesterday we got home from a hunt, a damn witch, they suck. But as soon as we all got home we showered and went to sleep, being exhausted from being thrown around by the bitch. That given, Sam wasn’t surprised when Dean and I slept in. I was woken up early afternoon by the urge to pee, groaning I get out of bed. Rubbing my eyes, half asleep I get to the bathroom and sit down when I notice something off while using the bathroom.

I look down and cannot believe what I see, my heart starts racing in fear. I hurry up and stand, quickly looking into the mirror, seeing one of the hunters I live with, looking back at me, I put a hand on his face, in shock I mutter “holy shit” I quickly slap his or more like my face a few times and splash cold water on me. Okay, not a dream. What the hell happened?

I rush out of the room, briefly noticing it was really Deans. I run into the kitchen where I assumed Sam was, and like always he was on his computer sipping some coffee. He looks up when he hears the ruckus, “What’s goin on Dean, you look like you’ve seen a ghost” I breath out loudly after holding my breath for a moment for no particular reason, maybe just hoping I was going crazy and seeing things. That I wasn’t actually in Deans body.

“Sammy, it’s not Dean” he furrows his brows in confusion, but replies “God Dean how much did you have to drink last night?” He looks back at what he was doing. I was about to explain, which not sure how I planned on doing that because I don’t even know what’s going on. We hear another fast set of footsteps, this time a bit quieter.

I turn around and gasp when I see myself. Do I really look like that every morning? Thank god I shower and make myself somewhat presentable before I come out here most mornings. I also notice the jiggle in my thighs and breasts when Dean comes to a halt at the doorway.

“Holy shit” we both say in unison, which gets Sam’s attention.

“What the hell is going on guys?”

Dean and I look at each other, both of us trying to find the right words to hopefully explain what’s going on, but before I can think of how to say it Dean does. “That’s not me in my body Sammy, that’s Q” he points at me. At this point we are both facing Sam and he has his full attention on us both.

“Huh? You guys are telling me you swapped bodies?” He sounds so confused as he asks. Dean being himself, raises his arms up in exasperation “Yeah dude, we just got parent trapped, now figure this out before I have to pee or something because I have no idea how to do that.”

I chuckle, “Good luck with the chaffing and boob sweat Dean-O” I smile at him while he gives and incredulous look. Which Sam chuckles at.

“Alright, I’ll get you back in no time” he said turning back to the computer. And when he said no time he meant it. I was glad to be back in my own body, even if I hate it half the time. I rather be in my own skin than Deans because holy shit I have terrible aim. But afterwards Dean, real him, comes up to me. “You were right about the chaffing and boob sweat. Terrible” and I just laugh in agreement.

#supernatural #fanfic #sam winchester #dean winchester #jensen ackles #jared padalecki #writing

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user00142 · 5 days

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September 15, 2024 9:50PM

I’m so tired of this never ending cycle, these old repeating thoughts, and self-sabotaging behaviors. At this point, I no longer hold the same hope that I used to. I’m barely keeping myself afloat. I hate what I see in the mirror. I waste each day by being on my phone or maladaptive daydreaming the entire day. I’m hung up on my ex who only talks about sex with me. I’m not who I want to be. I’m nowhere near where I want to be. I’m miserable all the time and I constantly feel like I also make the energy in the room miserable just because I’m in it. I feel like the people who know me dislike me because I’m not a great communicator, nor am I friendly. I say words that I don’t mean. I’ve ruined my friendships because I don’t maintain the relationships I have. When I was a child, I imagined my older years to be full of life. Now, all I do is sleep and daydream. I wasted my youth daydreaming of a perfect world. I’m so fucking sick of myself. I’m everything I despise. I want to fix myself, reinvent myself, kill this version of me and wake up anew. These days I feel like I’m too far gone to ever truly be whole again which is so fucking dramatic btw because I have it easy in comparison to other people who actually have real problems. I’m privileged to be able to go to college, to get an education without having to work while studying, I don’t gotta worry about my tuition, my meals, etc. I am able-bodied, I am fortunate, I am young and I have so much ahead of me. So, why do I feel so black and white? Perhaps it’s because I’m constantly giving attention — power, to all this negativity. Sure, I struggled a lot with social anxiety as a kid; I have low-self esteem, I got bullied for being ugly, I felt unpopular and irrelevant because I only had small circle of friends while my friends had other friends. But I’m not there anymore. I’m not 13 anymore. I don’t feel as socially anxious to the point that I couldn’t talk to people, even my own family. I’m not 14 anymore, I’m not in the classroom sitting with my friends as they tell me about my flaws and pick me apart with their words that were like daggers to my skin. I’m not 15 anymore — 15, when my dad went to his hometown saying he was going to start a business there, but he didn’t come back and ended up having a child with another woman. I’m not 16 anymore, I don’t feel as scared to tell my mom that I love a boy. I’m no longer 17 — no longer at that time when I didn’t want to break up with my boyfriend but I felt like it needed to be done because my mom losing her job made me realize how poor we actually were and it made me feel like I shouldn’t have that much fun in life, that I needed to stop having my head in the clouds. I’m no longer 18 and definitely not 19. I’m 20 now and I don’t want all those negative experiences to define my 20s because this is the time when I should have fun, when I should live my life to the fullest and make each day count. I just wanna let go of this heaviness here, burn it all down and scatter its ashes in the wind because I’m 20 now, and at 20, I should rise like the fucking phoenix.

#thoughts

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jcmarchi · 7 months

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I'm Learning How To Drive And Pacific Drive Is Helping

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/im-learning-how-to-drive-and-pacific-drive-is-helping/

I'm Learning How To Drive And Pacific Drive Is Helping

Pacific Drive is a game about one’s relationship with their car. As you navigate a reality-bending doomsday loop, your vehicle is the only thing keeping you from impending death – if you’re good enough at driving it. I’ve had fun in this world speeding through the forest and grabbing glowing yellow orbs, but the car is one of the most interesting parts to me for one reason: I don’t have a driver’s license yet.

After years of procrastination and two expired temporary permits, I’ve finally started learning to drive in earnest. I spent years of adulthood in the dark, and it’s been fascinating to open my eyes to something that is an everyday experience for millions of people. And as much as it’s opened my eyes to a new side of the real world, it’s making me see video game driving in a different light, and Pacific Drive is the first instance of that.

For starters, you drive in first person, which is something I’ve never tried in a game before. I typically swap to a third-person perspective as quickly as possible because it gives me a better sense of what’s going on around me. The thing is, when I do that, I’m basically playing as the car, not the person driving the car. Mirrors are irrelevant when you have a camera floating around to get perspective, and all you need to do to start the engine is press the gas button.

In Pacific Drive, you play from the driver’s seat, and you have to familiarize yourself with the space. Starting the car is more than the tap of a button – you have to aim at the ignition and insert the key to start the engine, then aim at the gear shift to put the car from park into drive. You’re free to exit the car at will as well, but if you leave the car on, you’ll waste gas, and if you don’t put it in park, it will roll down a hill. While driving, you have to physically turn your character’s head to look in the mirrors to see what’s behind you – I just wish it had the backup camera in my partner’s Honda Accord.

I also have a more basic appreciation for the anatomy of a car. Granted, Pacific Drive does simplify things (I don’t need a license to know a hatchback trunk door and a driver’s side door don’t have the same crafting recipe in real life [or a crafting recipe at all, for that matter]), but by forcing me to repair and upgrade the car by looking at its individual parts, I have a deeper understanding than I otherwise would.

For example, an early goal has the player craft a handbrake. In order to actually put it in the car, you need to open the hood, at which point you can see a translucent image of where the handbrake will actually go once it’s in the car. Seeing it highlighted at the base of the vehicle with lines connecting to each wheel was a surprise to me, partially because I had never considered how a handbrake actually works and partially because I was impressed the developers took the steps to actually illustrate the entire mechanism. It would have been much easier to just have the handbrake exist as an upgrade on a menu, but seeing where it’s supposed to go and putting it there myself gave me ownership over the whole thing.

I’m not suggesting Pacific Drive is some kind of groundbreaking car simulator, but it is more of a car simulator than I thought it would be, and now that I’m learning to drive, I have a very real appreciation for the way the developers spent time to add some realism to the car and its upgrades. Going the (pun intended) extra mile in areas like this really makes Pacific Drive stand out, and it’s made me far more invested in the game – and my car – than I would have been otherwise.

My partner walked past me as I played the other day, crafting upgrades in the garage. I pointed to the rusted sedan on the screen and proudly said, “You see this? This is my car. I installed the handbrake myself.”

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inner--islands · 11 months

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Interview with Braden McKenna (May 2016)

1. What are some recent inspirations?

Dark Souls. I had avoided the series for a long time because of it’s difficulty, but finally decided to give it a chance. It has became a pretty consuming thing for me, and I’m currently working my way through the third entry in the series. The world Dark Souls sets up is so compelling and the attention the game requires of the player gets me into a very meditative focused head space that has been very rewarding. I have Sun Ra on as I answer these questions. He’s always inspiring. Always in awe at the range of sounds he crafted over his lengthy career. Also really taken back by how much content he created. Sun Ra situates his politics with his art in such an engaging seamless way. Truly a mystery.

2. Do you think all music is inherently political? Do you feel aware of that to different degrees when doing work as braeyden jae and softest? Or is that beside the point?

Short answer yes. Our lives are so deeply affected by politics whether we direct our intention and focus towards that or not. So it’s pretty irrelevant to me if an artist feels political or not,the artistic work is being created and displayed in a deeply political climate. My personal politics are very much on my mind while working as braeyden jae, not so much while working on softest, but that doesn’t really change the conditions that have lead me to be able to make and share art. So ya, it’s all political.

3. You’ve just started a new label – Heavy Mess. What is your vision for that project? What do you think has changed for you since the impetus to start Inner Islands back in 2010?

I really just want to be able to share sounds that interest me. Inner Islands had a very specific vibe and eventually it became harder for me to authentically curate new releases. Heavy Mess can be a lot of things, my listening habits lean more towards instrumental music, but I’d be happy to put out a pop album or whatever on the label. I’m mainly interested in working with good folks who are sharing sincere art in a sincere way. In that sense, maybe it’s not all that different than Inner Islands. Also, a month into the first two releases I’ve become painfully aware that I’m still shit at getting press. Feeling determined though.

4. I know in general you work pretty swiftly and prolificly on projects these days. How would you describe your scope when approaching a new project?

I’ve recorded a lot of two track albums as braeyden jae. Conceptually those aren’t as time consuming and the execution of those albums is pretty free, which allows for a lot of output. But my more proper albums like Heaven House, Turnings, Memory Chain, and Fog Mirror take a lot more time. The ideas reveal themselves more gradually and the execution is more labored. I’m always working on several albums at a time though. I’ve been maybe too prolific that past two years, I’ve still got a few things coming out this year that are finished, but I’m staring to shift into a slower zone with my work. Planning a few more labor intensive albums. Excited to see what happens.

5. I feel like I can trace a line between some of your projects, specifically WYLD WYZRDZ to Kaliska to softest. It seems like there is an evolution of a particular vibe. Does that ring true at all? How do you experience that chain?

All three of those projects come form a very similar place to me, all from a more gentle part of me. I guess the difference to me with those projects lies more in my interpretation of what my place in the world is and how I am currently trying to navigate myself as a changing human in a changing landscape.

6. How was it touring late last year as braeyden jae after taking a break from touring for 4 years?

Touring was great. I’m such a introvert that when I’m at home it’s easy for me to just keep to myself. So tour, while challenging for me, is a nice way to interact with folks. I’m hitting the road for my second braeyden jae tour in a few weeks. Looking forward to that.

7. How was it translating the softest project live nearly 2 years ago in June, 2014? Is that something that you consider doing again?

I’d be open to playing live as softest again. I had a good time while doing it. It’s not a zone I feel ready for most the time though. I think if I tried to play a set as softest while not feeling very soft, that it would end up loosing it’s appeal for me.

8. What’s your favorite Jim Henson-related film or series?

Dark Crystal runs super deep for me. I re-watch that film a lot. The world it presents is very real to me. The pacing is slow and reflective, an easy film to zone on. Brian Froud’s involvement in that film is also key. But I also gotta give respect to Sesame Street. I grew up on that, and still pull up clips of Burt and Ernie, and Grover when I need a laugh.

9. Dream collaboration with someone from an older generation?

Out of folks who are no longer with us, it would be Sonny Sharrock or Albert Ayler. From the living it would have to be Pharoah Sanders. All three are huge influences on my work as braeyden jae.

10. Words of wisdom you like to recall in times of need?

Rahsaan Roland Kirk has this awesome monologue on his record Bright Moments that I listen to a lot. Helps me stay positive about continuing to prioritize my time for creating new art.

Braden McKenna currently works as braeyden jae and softest. He also runs Heavy Mess and founded Inner Islands. He released his most recent softest album, six wishes, in February on Inner Islands.

#dialogue

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alhysl · 3 years

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Cornelia Funke Interview

I had, back in 2013 or so, a literary blog I'd post book reviews on. I was a teenager, with two or three people actually following my reviews, but I loved reading so it was pretty fun nevertheless.

Then one day, I thought, why not ask one of my favourite authors, Cornelia Funke, whether I could interview her for an article?

I was 14, with zero background in journalism, but I'd been reading her for a while and I was absolutely passionate about her work. So, without much hope, I contacted her via her website and she actually, and very kindly, accepted to answer some of my questions.

While I deleted the literary blog I'm talking about, I did keep the interview in my e-mails and I think it's a shame to not share it with other people again (especially the Inkworld fandom here which is small but wonderful) since Cornelia was really sweet and took the time to give very elaborate and enlightening answers.

Now, this is old, from June 2013, so a lot of the information given is outdated and irrelevant by now, but there's so much that's still fascinating and that I love about what Cornelia said.

I'd also like to point out that some sentences have been edited for clarity.

So, have fun reading it, and feel free to react and ask me questions about the interview and my experience conducting it!

[Interview done on 19.06.13 via e-mail]

Q: I know that you are currently working on Book 3 of MirrorWorld. Do you have any other project going on ?

Cornelia Funke: As this series seems to be growing into at least five books the research is so intense that I stay away from any other bigger project. I'm doing short stories though, for younger readers, as they may otherwise think I forgot them behind the Mirror. I'm also working on several Apps ( though I prefer to call them Breathing Books :) ) for my worlds, as I was not very happy with the visual interpretations the movies did so far. MirrorWorld is done, Dragonrider is next, and we'll also soon start with Inkworld.

Q: What is the last book that you've read and loved ?

C.F.: I am mostly reading research for MirrorWorld. I just read the most enchanting Canadian Folk Tales and several books on Russia. As for fiction, I have just been through all the Sherlock Holmes stories as I had to write one myself for an Anthology and I got completely addicted. Then I read R.L. Stevenson on writing and travelling and ....as you see, I am a bookeater with piles everywhere in the house :)

Q: The classic question: what are the 3 books that you would take with you on an island ?

C.F.: The Once and Future King, by T.H.White

The Princess Bride, by William Goldman

The Rain King, by Saul Bellow (though of course I could name a hundred other titles here and I would feel each time that I forgot a favourite one)

Q: Did you want to be a writer when you were a child? If not, what was your dream job back then ?

C.F.: No, I wanted to be an astronaut. Quite seriously – until I realized I needed to get military training for that. It was the time of the moon landing and Star Trek after all :) I think I was also quite disappointed by the space ships they had come up with so far. An echo of this childhood passion is probably my addiction to Dr Who and the TARDIS in my Writing House.

Q: Who are the authors that inspired you ?

C.F.: Every author I ever read, both the good and the bad ones. Sometimes the bad ones teach you even more what you want to achieve as a writer. Among my favourite writers are Dickens, Kipling, Tolkien (though I like T.H.White better), Somerset Maugham, Maupassant, Astrid Lindgren, Toni Morrison, Michael Ondaatje, Graham Greene, Heinrich Heine, Ted Hughes, R.L.Stevenson, Mark Twain, Neil Gaiman, David Almond, Margaret Atwood, Annie Proux etc etc etc as you see I like many and very different printed dishes.

Q: In what circumstances do you prefer to write ?

C.F.: I can write everywhere by now, at airports, train stations, in hotel rooms, cafés, restaurants, waiting for a friend on a park bench....I always have a notebook and a pen with me and all my friends know that I love them to be late as these minutes give me the best ideas. But there are three places especially dear to me: my Writing House in Los Angeles, my daughter's apartment in London and....the Getty high up on the hill in LA.

Q: When you're writing a novel, do you know exactly how it's going to end, or is it also a surprise for you ?

C.F.: No, I need and want the surprise! Otherwise I get very bored!

Q: In which of the worlds you created would you prefer to live ?

C.F.: MirrorWorld. For at least ten lives :)

Q: Who is your favorite character from your books? Who is the one with whom you identify the most?

C.F.: Hmm... now they are all listening and they will all be terribly sad if I don't mention their name. Therefore, allow me to name a few (and tell the others that the selection is quite random): Prosper from Thief Lord, Dustfinger and Elinor from Inkworld, Twigleg from Dragonrider, Longespee from Ghostknight, and then of course Jacob (I can't get enough of him, maybe because he reminds me of my son Ben). As for whom I identify the most with, that is easy – Fox. And sometimes, the Dark Fairy :)

Q: I literally fell in love with the Inkworld saga and Dustfinger has to be my favourite character. How did he come to you?

C.F.: He just stepped into my mind, with the marten on his shoulder. I was not sure about his profession though, until I saw some fire eaters on a medieval market in Germany. He also brought his name. I never had to wonder what he looks like or who he is. He was just there – one of the easiest characters I ever wrote about, and always very close to my heart.

Q: Why did you choose Venice as a setting in The Thief Lord? What does that city represent to you ?

C.F.: I had the idea for the book in Venice and I thought it would make the most perfect setting because it is such a perfect place for children – no traffic to watch for, a labyrinth of alleyways to get lost in, a time machine built from water and stone. I love to set books in a real place to enable my readers to follow the story and literally touch it. There is so much magic in reality. It all comes from there. I did a similar thing with Ghostknight, which I set in Salisbury, England.

Q: Your books inspired many movies and plays. How do you feel about your stories getting adapted?

C.F.: For many years I allowed every kind of adaptation just because I felt it was such an honour to be interpreted by other artists. I feel slightly different by now. So often the interpretation was so different from what I had seen in my mind. So often all the work I had put into a book was shrunk down, simplified or simply changed. All this made me develop my version of MirrorWorld last year and it was the very first time I had the blissful feeling that other artists made me see my world even more clearly. As a friend of mine said when she saw the MirrorWorld App: "But this is more you than you!" After this experience I will be much stricter with adaptations as I now know how good they can be!

Q: If another movie was made based on one of your novels, which one would you like it to be? And would you like Brendan Fraser to take the lead once more? (I, personally, would like that very much)

C.F.: :) Brendan is still the most brilliant SilverTongue who ever read my books on tape, but for MirrorWorld and Jacob Reckless he would definitely be the wrong cast. I have no actor in mind for Jacob so at the moment I couldn't imagine a movie for this world. As for the other InkBooks – I am not sure I would allow an adaptation. The first movie taught me how much can go wrong although everyone is passionate about the project and although so many brilliant actors and artists were involved, it doesn't show at all what I saw when I wrote the books.

Q: Words are of great importance in your books. Do you see them more as tools you can use to create your stories or would you also say that they have a life of their own?

C.F.: A brilliant painter is nothing without paint. A brilliant carpenter is nothing without wood. The words are what I weave the carpet from and only if I choose the right one will the carpet fly! And yes, they for sure have a life of their own! As does the story!

Q: Is there any advice you can give to aspiring authors like me?

Always carry a notebook and a pen with you. Grab the ideas when they show themselves, as they will hide again. Never tell a story where to go. Let the story tell you – though sometimes you may have to fight with it about the direction. Always be curious about everything – inside and outside :)

I am impatiently waiting for your answers,

Yours truly,

Alice

Love from one bookeater to the other from LA,

Cornelia

#cornelia funke #inkworld #inkheart #inkspell #inkdeath #inkworld trilogy #mirrorworld #interview #mine #writing

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convenientalias · 3 years

Text

Just rewatched episode two of My Country the New Age with my mom.

It didn't really re-traumatize me the way I expected it to--perhaps because a lot of the pain of the first time around was pure shock at how things Just Kept Getting Worse. The military exam in itself is a tough watch: the harsh transition from triumphant battle music to silence in the background as Hwi and Seon-ho begin to fight, Seon-ho's arm beginning to bleed and Hwi wanting to back off and Seon-ho telling him not to go easy bc Seon-ho sure won't, the way the camera begins to swoop and waver the way Hwi and Seon-ho are beginning to stumble, and of course that final awful hit from Seon-ho... it's fucking terrible. And it was still terrible but I knew what to expect, so it hurt a bit less. Similarly, all the awfulness with Seung-gye in the woods is a bit less excruciating (it's somehow embarrassing and grim at the same time) when you know how it's going to go and how the relationship between Seung-gye and Seon-ho will eventually evolve to mirror this dynamic right now of Seung-gye handing Seon-ho dirty work. But it's still awful to watch how Seon-ho's hands shake right until the minute he goes cold.

My mom and I had a long discussion of Seon-ho's choices and his motivations, and I of course was very defensive of him... at first. We agreed he can't really be blamed for anything that happened at the military exam. We agreed he had Hwi drafted to save him. But....

While at first I was defensive of Seon-ho shooting the military examiner at Seung-gye's command--he has to in order to save his and his father's lives, and the examiner is kind of an awful person to begin with--I found myself arguing against my mom when she said it was understandable bc Seon-ho acted out of fear in the moment. Clearly Seon-ho is afraid. At first his hands are shaking. At first he's in shock and can't bring himself to lift the bow. But in the moment he does shoot, he's cold and clean, and he turns to Seung-gye with a perfect rejoinder to the monologuing Seung-gye's been doing about cutting knots and taking responsibility, a monologue that it's honestly a bit surprising he was able to process. In that moment, I think Seon-ho doesn't act out of fear, but out of necessity and bravery and even a little ambition; not political ambition exactly (well, not not political ambition) but a desire to be something more than a cornered, intimidated adolescent. He's stepping into a role he wants: The role of a person who is able to do the necessary thing, the role of a person with power and agency, the role of a person that General Yi Seung-gye himself could trust. In this role, a sense of guilt in killing becomes only squeamishness. In this role, the question of whether Seon-ho wants to kill and equally the question of whether Seung-gye is just in saying the military exam disaster is Seon-ho's fault both become irrelevant: what matters is being the person Seung-gye wants him to be. Seon-ho isn't panicking. He's stepping up to the plate, and deliberately embracing a worse but more capable, more empowered version of himself.

(but it also must very much be said that his father had a sword pointed at him and they both would have died if he didn't do it. these things can both be true!)

Anyway. What else. Love that exchange between Seon-ho and Nam Jeon when Nam Jeon reminds Seon-ho to threaten, not yell, and Seon-ho proceeds to threaten him with a sick grin on his face. Iconic. Yes Seon-ho, shoot arrows for your own sake! keep it up! Also I'd forgotten how much of the first couple episodes are Just a Simple Romcom lols. Hwi and Hui-jae have chemistry for about ten seconds when she's bandaging his head but mostly I simply can't ship them, oh well. It can't be helped. Also, my mom said to me that she thought my fave in this show was Hwi??? I was like. Hm. I don't really see how you got that impression. Great guy tho, 10/10, and I like him even more as the show goes on, but Seon-ho is life.

#my country the new age #nam seon ho #my rewatch continues at a slow pace

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adorethedistance · 4 years

Text

Errand Boy - Luke Patterson x Artist!Reader

JATP masterlist

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of injury (accidentally cutting hand with glass)

Words: 2549 (this is literally an unproofed stream of consciousness piece)

Summary: Luke is just as much of a deadweight shopping buddy as he is a helpful set of hands.

A/n: two fics? in one day? What the fuck is up y’all? I finished the bulk of my supplemental apps and now I’m churning out like three complete paintings a week. It's redonkulous. This seems irrelevant BUT based on my experiences this week, I got the inspiration for another artist reader so here we go again with the fluffy shit.

“We have a few important things that need to get done today. Do you think you can handle that?”

“No,” Luke answers while laying on my routinely made bed. He’s got my throw blanket over his whole body, curled up in the center of the mattress like a millionaire widow’s cat.

“I appreciate the honesty, but unfortunately for you, that is not an option,” I state without looking at him. I’m focused on the mirror in front of me where I’m adjusting my hair to the best of my liking. My concentration is broken by Luke rolling off my bed, grumbling nonsense before pressing his cheek on my shoulder, wrapping both arms around my waist to hug as much of me as possible.

“It won’t be that bad.”

“Promise?” He fake pouts, looking at me in the mirror.

“Promise. And we can come home and watch movies after.”

“Which movies?” Luke asks as if it’ll make a difference in his decisions.

“I don’t know. You can pick one and I’ll pick one.” He then pretends to think over the decision, but I can see the mischievous glint in his eyes that indicates he’s game.

“Fine, I’ll come with you.”

“I knew you’d come around. You have everything?”

“Have what?”

“Fair point. I’m ready to go when you are.” I grab my bag from it’s hook on the wall and beckon Luke over to finally exit my bedroom. Sliding his hands over the bulk of my hips, he sensually pulls me close to lean down and whisper over my lips,

“How about we make the most of the time we have without your parents in the house?”

“Nice try. I’m already violating their trust by letting you in while I got ready, so we gotta leave before they even know you were here.”

“Fine then. Be that way!” Luke jokingly complains.

“If you behave... maybe I’ll brave asking my parents if you can spend the night.” Luke’s smile practically lights up the room; lacing his fingers in mine, I tug him out of my bedroom and quickly out of the house.

The car ride is brief but entertaining as I watched Luke rap the entire section of Determinate from Lemonade Mouth. It ended all too soon when I put the car into park.

“Lowe’s?” He asks once I turn the engine off and begin gathering all of my stuff.

“Yes, Lowe’s. Come on.” His energy level has improved since we left the house. The rebound time is somewhat impressive for how strongly Luke will be in his emotions. It’s endearing if anything to watch him express himself in any way he can.

I gasp once I’m blasted by the cold air blowing through the frame of the automatic sliding doors. Luke bumps into me on accident as I was tugging him behind me slightly, and stopped abruptly in my tracks. I did so to survey the layout of the store in front of me. Grills, paint, refrigerators, garden, lumber, and finally out doors! I’ve spotted my destination and wordlessly tug Luke back into motion. He knows from prior… incidents… that breaking my concentration is just generally not a good idea, and he comfortably follows where I lead.

That’s another thing I love about Luke. His emotional intelligence is above average, and he’s very in tune with his emotions. He’s also in tune with my emotions even when my mind is so clouded I’m not in tune with them myself. It’s funny that he’s sort of an extension of my brain whilst simultaneously being air headed enough to leave his phone in the fridge for an hour.

I bring us both to a stop, confused after having lost my way. Sensing my hesitation, Luke then takes the opportunity to speak up.

“What are we here to get.”

“I need to find where they cut glass panes so I can ask for a scrap.” I don’t look at him while I speak, continuing to survey my surroundings, but I can sense he’s taken aback by my answer.

“Can I ask what for?”

“Oil paint gets absorbed into wood and plastic, so I need a small piece of glass to use as a palette. I figured asking for a piece of what they’ll throw away anyway is cheaper than ordering online.” Luke pauses for a moment before squeezing my hand twice to signify his intention, and we walk over to the corner where a woman a bit older than us sits behind a tall desk.

“Excuse me,” Luke speaks up. He’s leaning forward, resting his right forearm on the surface of the desk, and holding my hand in his left. And that’s another thing I love about my boyfriend. His nonchalant, ‘too cool for school’ demeanor frees him from any anxiety around talking to strangers. If I were alone I would’ve had to take five minutes just to think of what to say and build up the confidence to ask. Riding with Luke is a different ball game.

“What can I help you with, hun?”

“Do you guys have scraps from cutting glass?”

“...I’m sorry?” The service lady asks which ignites my anxiety that was previously alleviated by Luke’s presence.

“My girlfriend here is an artist and she was wondering if you had scrap pieces of glass that you cut for customers that she could use as a paint palette. She said something about how plastic absorbs oil paint.”

“I haven’t heard of that before, but I’m sure we have some pieces laying around that you can have.”

“I just need one,” I add softly to ensure she doesn’t bring me fifteen panes that I can’t take home. She nods and smiles before standing from her desk and going into the ‘employees only’ work area.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” He asks, prompting me to think for a moment.

“Being you, I guess.” Luke smiles. He’s fondly staring into my eyes, holding my right hand in both of his. He then laughs and brings my hand up to kiss the back of my hand. A gesture I’ve grown to like throughout the course of our relationship.

“You’re such a dork.” Then the service desk woman is coming back through the door she left from, and is carrying two different glass panes.

“Will either of these work?” Surveying my options, I choose the smaller piece in her right hand. In addition to her beneficiary efforts, she offers to wrap the piece for us so we can carry it out and not slice our hands off. I cordially noted that she didn’t need to, but judging by the fact that two eighteen year olds just walked into her store asking for glass, I figured I’d give her the peace of mind.

Once the piece is wrapped, I thank the woman profusely for all her help. Luke takes the glass from her and pretends to offer to carry it for me. In reality, I know he wouldn’t let me carry it if I said I could take it. I guess chivalry isn’t dead.

“Okay. Stop two is just a couple minutes down the road,” I say more to myself than to Luke. “Just set it back here,” I allocate space in my car for Luke to set the glass down gently, ensuring it won’t break.

On the way to the second location, Luke plays the newly recorded Sunset curve demo and asks for my opinions, sonically speaking.

“I don’t think my opinions hold much weight here. I just make the album art.”

“Is there any part of it that sort of jumps out as odd, or cool, or strange?”

“No, I think it all blends together really well. Although, you know me and how I’ll always advocate for a bigger boost on the bass.”

“Did you like my guitar solo?” Luke asks as we slide out of my card and into the craft store I brought us to.

“That was you? I thought that was Bobby.”

“Is that good or bad?”

“No, it’s really good,” I lead us to the very back corner of the store where the painting materials are, “I just didn’t think it was you.”

“You think whenever it’s really good it’s Bobby?”

“No, I just didn’t realize.” I then opt for a change in subject to distract Luke from the topic at hand. “Okay, I need your help finding two things. I’m gonna look for some paint colors, and you’re gonna grab me a fan brush and a round brush okay?”

“Okay! What does that mean?” Luke’s enthusiasm is never one to disappoint which makes me laugh.

“Fan brush is sort of self explanatory, the bristles are splayed out like so,” I gesture with my hands. “And a round brush is kind of but not really tear drop shaped. So the bristles will be the same diameter as the brush, but then it’ll come to a really fine point at the end. I need a small fan brush and a medium round, got it?” He nods, determined to retrieve the right items.

“Oh, and the different displays will have the skill levels on the side. Get the ones in the experienced/intermediate section, the professionals are a rip off.”

I then leave Luke to his own devices as I scout the various oil paints for ultramarine blue and silver. In roughly a minute, Luke is back with five brushes in his hands.

“Okay so you said medium but there’s like, ten different mediums, so I brought the ones that seemed the mediumest,” he holds them out so I can survey the different widths of the tools. I consider the size for a moment and consider the final product I’m searching for.

“That one.” I finally choose, slipping the object from between his fingers. Luke nods before heading back to the brush section to locate the ‘perfect’ fan brush, and return the rejected rounds. I return to my search and subsequently locate the correct blue and silver. Now finished, I quickly spin around to go join Luke in the brush aisle. When I turn the corner, Luke and I smack into each other abruptly.

“You okay?” I ask, hoping I didn’t impale my boyfriend with a paint brush. He nods and then a lazy smirk appears across his features.

“Come here often?” I shake my head at his goofiness and then take the brush from him so I can pay for it. The entire way to the register, Luke is reciting different pick-up lines at me and all I can do is roll my eyes.

“Do you have an extra heart? Because mine was just stolen.”

“That’s your worst one yet.” I redirect my attention to the cashier, “Just these.” After scanning the items, she reads me my total, and Luke continues to rattle off bad pickup lines.

“Do you know CPR? Because you take my breath away.”

“I’m sorry about him,” I say to the cashier as she hands me the small bag of our items.

“Men,” She sighs in both wonder and contempt. Mood. Grabbing his hand, I forcibly drag Luke out of the store before he can think of another pick up line. Once in the parking lot, he digs his heels into the ground, stopping in his tracks, and using the momentum of my walking forward to pull me back.

“You’re such an idiot, you know that?” I ask as he wraps his arms around my waist to pull my body against his.

“I love you.” Incapable of refusing his stupid smile, I roll my eyes playfully.

“I love you, too, Luke. Now get in the car you dork.” Swiftly pressing a kiss to my cheek, Luke releases me from his grasp and practically skips around the car to climb into the passenger seat.

On the way to our last stop, Luke and I land on the topic of weddings and proposals. He said his mom had a collage book the size of a sears catalogue for her wedding before she and his dad even started dating. The idea of young Emily with a giant wedding binder at age fifteen is so sweet to me.

“Funny how girls don’t really change but just evolve over time.”

“What do you mean?”

“My mom had a wedding binder too. Now, every girl has a pinterest board for their dream wedding.” Luke is stunned by my statement and stares at me with a slack jaw.

“Every girl has a pinterest board?”

“Yeah. All of my friends do at least.” A brief moment of silence settles in the car, and then,

“Do you... have one?... Pinterest board?”

“I do…” I was hesitant to respond, unsure of whether or not Luke would be freaked out.

“What sort of things do you put on the board?”

“Everything you care about really. Like, everyone has a section for things like dress, ring, and cake. But anything else is dependent on the person. My friend is super into choosing her food displays and charcuterie type stuff, but I have a section for just floral arrangements.”

“Weird.” Luke sits back against his seat. He’s not freaked out persay, but somewhat in awe.

When we pull up to the last location, Luke seems rightfully confused. We’re in a nice neighborhood in L.A. that neither of us have been to before.

“This is mostly the reason I wanted you to come with me today. I bought a standing easel off Craigslist and I didn’t wanna get abducted so I brought you with me.”

“So we could both get abducted. Nice.”

“You’re like, hella ripped and you never wear sleeves so you’re here for show mostly.”

“I feel so loved.”

“Come on.”

Thankfully, the transaction was smooth and no one was in need of a missing person’s report. Luke, being the muscle I didn’t feel like using, offered/practically begged to carry the item to the car and set it down with the glass.

As I turn on the engine to head home, Luke looks at me as if humbly expecting something.

“What?”

“You said if I behaved you’d ask your parents if I could stay the night.”

“You want me to ask now?” He nods dumbly and leans in to kiss me before I call home. My mom answers on the third ring, connected to the speaker of my car.

“Hello?”

“Mom.”

“Yes?”

“I did everything I needed to today, and Luke and I are on our way home.”

“Okay.”

“We’re probably gonna watch a few movies…” Moment of truth, “Can Luke stay the night?”

The line goes quiet for a moment before she speaks again.

“Not in your room.”

“We’d set up on the couches.” I offer the solution, sharing a look with my antsy boyfriend.

“...If Mitch and Emily are okay with it.”

“We haven’t called them yet.” I glance to my right to see if Luke had already texted.

“Emily is okay with it,” he yells to make sure my mom hears over the ambience of the car.

“Don’t disrespect your mother like that.” The two of us laugh at her comment before confirming our ETA, and with that, she hangs up on us.

“You’re lucky I’m the favorite kid,” I tell Luke without taking my eyes off the road.

“And you’re unlucky I’m the only kid.”

***

A/n: this is a disaster mess messity mess but get it out of my WIPS please god.

Taglist: @thesweetestsinner @imsydneywalker @lovesanimals @thebloodthirstyvampress @bumbleberry-pie @losers-club6 @curlybrownhairedboys @caitsymichelle13 @kaitlyn2907 @itz-jas @crybabyddl @kcd15 @kinda-really-lost @calamitykaty @morganayennefertyrell @n0wornever @yikesgillespie @dream-a-little-bigger-x @mrstodorooki @vicesvsvirturesfanfic @curlybrownhairedboys @amazinggracy @kaitieskidmore1 @asdfghjkl-fanfics @ghostlygreenbean

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mage-and-the-tantrums · 3 years

Text

The Courage of Letting Go

My project had crashed yet again. My laptop is telling me in all the possible languages that my hard drive is dying, and that I need to replace it soon. Yet I still ask +10 hours out of it daily. All I have left to do is reboot, see all of my data get wiped out, reinstall, reconfigure, wait and hope for the best. Again, again, again, until the green lines in my console numb my already half-asleep brain.

5:45AM. Early morning breeze is refreshing, birds are chirping annoyingly, I try to remember the last time I was able to really breath-in a morning, when I had a proper sleep schedule. I carefully navigate the labyrinths of what they might think or say, and plan accordingly. I realize that simplicity is the ultimate sophistication, and that silence is indeed a divine language that I gladly speak.

25 imaginary conversations, one rant to my mom and 2 of my other friends, 3 weeks of self-inflicted isolation, and yet it still does feel right, in every possible aspect. I feel as if a burden had been cast from my back. I feel very light, and kind of excited for the unknown that would fill the void of what has been there. That huge chunk I orbited around for so long had finally pushed me a little bit too hard, into an open space suspension. In fact, it has been pushing me away for quite some time, but only equal to my desire to stay. Those forces eventually negated each other, and I stayed in inertia, comfortably numb, orbiting around a ruined star I thought was one of my riches.

We are creatures of habit. We are always afraid of change, and we prefer it would be inevitable and outside of our control. If change was inevitable, we would let it come to us rather than seeking it, even when we desperately need it. The human brain always sides with the known, within the confines of the familiar. We cling into relationships, belongings, countries, jobs, that are hurting us more than we could ever imagine. And yet we fail to realize that we are suffering directly because of those. And so letting go seems like a funny, extremely dark thought that one should never act upon it. Letting go does not even cross our minds for most of the time.

But some things do not require change. We value longevity, we identify with rituals and we appreciate sanctuaries. Places or people we go to regularly, and come running back towards when the world is unfair. Friends, family, romantic relationships, motherland, hometown. In fact these should not change at all costs, naturally and ideally, as they join to form our identity.

However, these deeply rooted landmarks should be questioned regularly. It's not because that one cannot change or disregard their family that we should put up with their toxicity for example. One should be brave enough to seek change in the forbidden "longevity" department I was talking about earlier, if change is required. One should take the leap of faith, and have the courage to break their own heart. One should listen to the deep voice within when it tells them to leave.

In my case, I had been among this gang of friends for 8 years or so now. We have been through a lot, and I thought I had a safe haven in which I could be simply me, and still feel loved and cared for. Being with my gang always meant recharge and safety, for quite some time.

As I went abroad for education, our relationships suffered heavily from the stress-test of distance. It was very clear to me that I mean nothing to them, and that they see nothing past the things I could offer: rides, professional advice, help with writing a CV, help with a university course, and so on. I soon discovered that they go out without me, systematically and on so many occasions, that I am kept away from their lives and that my struggles mean nothing but something to make fun of, collectively (yes, they mocked me openly once for falling in love with someone who later decided to marry someone else).

The thing that kept me going back to them is them being part of home, being part of something I achingly longed for when I was expatriated, and so I never thought twice before running back to them. My expectations surely lowered to rock-bottom, but I still invested my time and energy unto the gang.

Being back home once again has cast a very big light unto everything in my life. Now I can see very clearly that I am a mere decor, and that people call me only for my car or just to fill the space and not be completely alone. When they ask about some detail in my life, their questions hit me as mixed with a little bit of spite and envy. Maybe I am wrong on this last point, but I would not be surprised. It's no longer a serene sanctuary, it is a toxic tar pit.

The courage of letting go is a mystical force that descends, and suddenly everything is clear. Being honest with yourself is crucial for you to feel this. Once you open your gates, the voice of your gut that has been muffled for years is now a limpid, comforting sound. The courage of letting go is a force that once armed, should not be disregarded. The courage of letting go is another form of acceptance, a blessing.

You should not put up with a toxic friend or relative. You should not do something that does not make you feel good just because you're afraid what else is there for you. What if I cut loose my friends ? what will happen then ? No one knows, and quite frankly, it is exciting to get that space filled up by literally anything else.

This is not a piece of writing that would end with "maybe I am wrong after all". I have given every benefit; of doubt, of love, of affection, of temporary loss of interest, of casual indifference, of good intention. Not once, not twice. It has been years. And maybe it was not like this all the time. Maybe we changed. But I know for sure that I am better off without all of them. I know now that I had been exploited for the past years, and I know I represent nothing for all of them. I am not dumb to not realize when I am shoved away and made fun off systematically by people who are not necessarily better than me in any aspect. This feels like an echo of my early teenage years when I was bullied. That period also ended when I decided to stand up for myself because no one else did. I wrote a big-ass message and I cut all my ties with them. How ironically and sometimes stupidly history repeats itself.

I am glad I now have a wider perspective, and that now I accept the sight of you in my rear-view mirror getting further and further until you're an infinitesimal, irrelevant dot. A sight that has been silently hurting me for years. I always put that under the tab of my over-sensitivity as you would say, you being the expert know-it-all-even-psychoanalysis. I lowered my expectations, I doubted myself, I made myself believe what you thought of me, I asked less and less of you, while you took more and more. Time, effort, attention, consideration, ...

Now you're yesterday news, and I wish for you all the best on your journey, and for our paths to untangle and never ever cross again. Thanks for the memories, and thanks for the pain.

"Joy might visit us unexpectedly, set up the candles it might pass by us spray the way with tears Oh, my heart, where is your sorrow? I hid it away from the joy's path you keep whining you wail with tears of a distressed But this is a mere illusion, too high in heavens Take care not not shout sorrowfully, as sorrow can be heard." - Aziz Al-Samawi (sung by Ilham Al-Madfai : Khuttar)

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texanredrose · 4 years

Note

Camellia Monochrome for an old friend?

Blake entered the throne room hurriedly, Weiss hardly two steps behind, and she only became more unnerved by what she saw. When the summons arrived, the faunus princess knew that it was important; her parents rarely sent an official messenger to find her and had never before specifically requested Weiss’ presence as well. It had to be something far outside the norm to prompt such and the full legion of royal guards flanking the throne room, decked out in full armor with their weapons on display. At the end of the hall on the dais, her parents sat on their thrones in full regalia, her father’s expression severe with his crown sitting low across furrowed brows while her mother appeared only slightly more at ease, her feline ears standing tall and far too still to be natural.

“Mom? Dad? What’s wrong?”

“Blake,” her father said, a heaviness to his tone. “We’ve received trouble news that may be... upsetting to hear but we believe it to be true.”

“We have diligently searched for any potential indication that there might be misinformation or falsehoods but there are none.” Her mother tilted her head slightly. “We have done our due diligence. You must listen to what we have to say.”

“Of course,” she replied, confused and uneasy.

With a heavy sigh, her father spoke again. “Your knight attendant was sent here to kill you. She’s an assassin, Blake.”

Although it probably shouldn’t, the accusation prompted relief and she couldn’t help but say the first thing that came to mind because of it. “I know that.”

In the silence that followed, one could hear a pin drop, if any dared to break it.

“You... know,” her mother finally said deliberately, ears twitching. “How long have you known?”

“Since a month after I arrived,” Weiss answered, waving off Blake’s attempt to do the talking. “I told Blake about my mission to assassinate the entire royal family when I realized I wouldn’t- and couldn’t- complete it.”

The royal guards surrounding them shifted uneasily, a few inching closer, looking to their king and queen for any sign that they should attack.

But the order didn’t come, even as her father’s expression became even more severe. “You’re bold to admit to such so openly.”

The woman shook her head. “No, for the same reason I can’t complete the mission I was charged with; it takes no courage to admit such here.” Then, she gave them a small, sad smile, the same one Blake had become rather familiar with during their time together. “All three of you... are kind, to a fault one might say. A hundred knights you have, this great show of force... but you would’ve had every right to arrest or execute me without so much as a word as to why. You didn’t do that. Because that’s not your way; you will defend yourselves but never take that first strike, even if it might save you from pain. So here we are, all truths laid bare, and a implicit understanding that if I raise my hand, your knights will react... but not a moment before.”

The King pressed his lips into a thin line. “Then, you must realize you will be banished from the kingdom-”

“Banished? For what?” Blake stepped forward, hands balling into fists. “She’s done nothing to warrant a banishment.”

“She’s literally an assassin, honey,” her mother gently said.

“A very poor one!” A pause as she turned her head. “No offense.”

“None taken,” Weiss wryly replied. “But they have a point. I’m a liability.”

“That’s not true.” Blake looked to her parents. “She told me the truth months ago; it was my decision to not tell either of you. Weiss has done nothing wrong.”

“Be that as it may, she did come here with the intent to kill us. That she’s changed her mind is... irrelevant.” Even as he said the word, she could tell her father didn’t like it and didn’t agree with the sentiment. It didn’t sit well with any of them, not when they spent so much time preaching and practicing forgiveness where applicable. “She’s an enemy of the crown.”

“I refuse to believe that.” She could feel her anger rising up, taking a step forward. “Does she not deserve a chance to redeem herself in your eyes?”

“Blake.”

With reluctance, she looked back, recognizing that tone of voice. It was the same one Weiss used whenever disagreeing so staunchly that no amount of discussion could sway her. Although a rarity nowadays, it came out whenever Blake suggested anything along the lines of reaching out to the woman’s family. Her refusal to complete the mission she’d been given had made her an enemy of her home kingdom and she could never return. There was no going back. “Weiss...”

Without responding, the woman strode forward towards the dais, stopping when the assembled knights began to fidget. Then, she knelt down and bowed her head. “I willingly submit myself to the judgment of the crown. My destiny is in your hands, Your Majesties.”

Her father shifted uncomfortably; it was always easier to enforce harsh penalties on the unrepentant because then it felt justified. Those who accepted their judgments with grace and dignity tugged at his desire to show mercy.

Her mother, however, seemed intrigued. “Your destiny? Not your fate?”

“There’s a difference?” The King muttered.

“Destiny is a function of choice; fate is beyond one’s individual control,” she replied. “And I believe you’re well read enough to know the difference.”

“I am, Your Majesty.” Weiss lifted her head and spoke with such a certainty that it made Blake hold her breath. “From the moment I met your daughter, I realized I was fated to love her and to be in love with her. My heart belongs to her completely and there’s nothing I can do to change that... nor would I want to, frankly. It is also my fate, then, to protect her from any harm; my very soul demands it.” A brief pause. “Whether or not I remain by her side... is a choice I can make. I could choose to defy your judgment and remain beside her but that would be the selfish option. Instead, I make the choice to continue loving her no matter what, no matter where I am, no matter if I ever see her again, and dedicate myself to keeping her safe from afar. If it is your decree that I am exiled, I choose to accept that destiny.”

Tears stung Blake’s eyes at the sincerity in the woman’s voice. While she’d lived all her life on the receiving end of unwavering, unconditional love, she knew Weiss hadn’t. For the woman to love so deeply- love her so deeply- touched her to the very core.

And she refused to let the declaration go unacknowledged.

Drawing her sword, Blake marched forward and walking around until she stood before Weiss, with her back to her parents. Blue eyes looked up at her questioningly but she didn’t hesitate, kneeling down and flipping the blade around, the tip of her it digging into the stone beneath them. “Draw your sword.”

“Blake-”

“Draw your sword,” she said again more forcefully, ignoring her parents’ warning.

Weiss did as asked and mirrored her position, their knuckles pressed against each other. From her forearm, Blake drew her ribbon and began winding it, entwining them together in a rite as old as her kingdom’s written history. Like marriage but more intricate, carrying more symbolism; the ribbon bound them in a way that escaped articulation but went beyond a mere promise of fidelity and support. If Weiss was fated to love her, then she would bind their souls together.

The various knights murmured their surprise but none dared interfere. Although her off hand struggled at points, the woman wordlessly offered her assistance, and together they completed the pattern.

“No matter where you are, in this world or the next, we are bound,” she said, resolute in her decision. “I love you, Weiss.”

“And I love you, Blake.” Weiss fought to keep her voice steady but failed as tears gathered in her eyes. “No matter what.”

Leaning forward, she caught the woman in a kiss. A thousand things they wanted to say had to be conveyed in the meeting of lips, for fear they might not get another chance, and when they pulled away, Blake could see so many emotions swirling in blue eyes. Despite how calmly she’d spoken before, Weiss was in pain at the thought of them being apart, just as much as her.

The King spoke, choosing his words carefully. “Have you protected her thus far from anyone aside yourself, Ser Knight?”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” Weiss replied. “I’ve killed seventeen assassins thus far.”

The Queen, once again, seemed keen on clarifying. “Are you counting the courtier from last week? The one who mysteriously disappeared after the feast?”

“My apologies, Your Majesty, that would be eighteen-” Then, Weiss’ eyes went wide, and Blake joined her in her surprise. Just as the woman’s mission to assassinate the royal family had been a secret, so too had Weiss’ actions to keep the royal family safe. Even Blake didn’t know the full extent of the things the woman did to take care of any threats.

“Stand down, guards, and return to your posts.”

Then, her mother appeared, a small smile on her lips as her ears relaxed. “We, perhaps, were a touch misleading earlier. We’ve known about your mission for a bit longer than Blake has.”

“You... have...”

“Mom?”

“You’ve never been shy about reminding us that you can take care of yourself,” she explained with a chuckle. “And we could tell from meeting her that she lacked the soul of an assassin. She isn’t the first sent to try and kill us, after all.”

Her father sighed in relief. “We thought you would’ve mentioned it to us; we didn’t want to bring it up first and potentially cause an argument.”

“But now that everything’s out in the open.” The Queen reached out and set her hand on theirs. “The crown recognizes your bond... and we welcome you to the family, Princess Weiss. Would you like a proper wedding as well or will the bond suffice?”

They both looked at each other as a moment of silence stretched, the situation sinking in until Weiss finally smiled widely.

“I would,” she said, a tear slipping from her eye and rolling down her cheek, the meaning of it changed entirely in a very short amount of time. “I would like nothing more than another chance to tell everyone how much I love you, Blake.”

That prompted a laugh to bubble up from her chest as it finally sunk in, relief flooding through her body. “I rather like the sound of that as well.”

---

AN: kinda a continuation from the other ask, but works well enough on its own I guess, idk, hope you enjoyed.

#TRR asks #Monochrome

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inkandpen22 · 4 years

Text

Somewhere (3/?)

Pairing: Sirius Black x Female!Reader

Warnings: None

Part Summary: After the dramatics at the disco, Y/N is left gloomy. Then, she receives a miraculous visit with a gift.

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Reader

Not soon after Sirius and his friends got kicked out, we left. I pleaded to stay, considering it’s still my birthday. Brady, Jay, and the rest of the boys were in a bad mood, they still are. We all came back to the house and they gathered around the kitchen table discussing the evening. I excused myself upstairs, tired, and gloomy from the whole experience. I’ve never dealt with the conflict between us and the wizards like my brother. He and Jay deal with it daily in politics, especially lately with the tensions growing.

As I remove my makeup, I see Brady appear in the doorway of the bathroom out of my peripheral vision. He knocks on the frame, “can I come in?”

“I suppose,” I mumble while I remove my makeup from the evening. He moves to sit on the edge of my counter. “Is everyone alright?” I ask, genuinely worried. He hums, nodding his head slowly.

“You know, I didn’t want to ruin your evening and I’m sorry if that’s what I did,” Brady apologizes. “And I’m saying this now so that you understand. I just… I just couldn’t stand seeing that wizard-freak near you! They’re not good people, Y/N. They can’t even keep their own sort in line, despite having all the magic in the world! Now, they wish to live amongst us and spread their problems to us!”

Despite Brady’s educated opinion, I can’t imagine Sirius doing any of that. He didn’t appear threatening or anything else Brady can describe his kind as being. He looked like any other boy, who just happens to be a wizard. He just so happens to be more remarkable than anyone I’ve ever met.

Brady hops down from the counter and plants a kiss on my temple. “Good night, you should get some rest.”

“How long will everyone be here?” I question, knowing how loud they can get.

“Lauren is staying over,” he informs me casually. Lauren is over here half the time anyway. “Everyone else should be heading out soon.”

That really means they’ll still be here when I go down for breakfast. They’ll all be crashing in the living room. I suppose that’s a benefit of not having parents and being the legal guardian, no rules.

“Good night,” Brady nods, turning to leave my room.

“Night,” I mumble absentmindedly.

I hear my door click behind Brady and I relax, no longer being under his watchful eye. Looking into my eyes in the mirror, I find myself wondering where Sirius is at this moment. What is doing right now? Will I ever see him again? I can’t begin to imagine how riveting it must be to be a wizard. I mean, the limits are nonexistent! All the world is at his feet, all he has to do is reach out and touch it. Maybe I am a little crazy to be so interested in it. I just don’t understand how a world that is so remarkable could possibly be as dangerous as the others claim. I should be content with what I have and what I am, but I’m certain I’m destined for more. The human way of things is so boring and lacks luster. Wizards and witches, they can do anything, be anything! What I would give for one day, just one day experiencing their world. I would ask them a million questions and learn as much as I could. They look like us, speak like us, other than magic, what makes us different?

Deep inside my own thoughts, I prepare for bed, changing into shorts and an old concert t-shirt. I hope I dream of Sirius and the wizarding world tonight, it’s all I’ve been thinking about for hours. I hear my floor creak as I shut my closet door and I’m guessing it’s Brady checking on me again. It could also be Lauren peeking in to say ‘good night.’ Suddenly, I feel a warm hand glide over my shoulder and down my arm. Hot breath brushes against my neck. I jump, spinning around swiftly in a panic. My sight lands on jet black eyes, Sirius.

I gleam, “Siri-”

He covers my mouth, holding a finger over his lips as he listens for any movement downstairs. When there’s no sign of anyone hearing me, he releases me with a sigh of relief.

“What are you doing here?” I whisper, practically bursting. “How did you find me?”

“I used a tracking spell,” he explains simply, leaving me in awe.

“How did you get in?” I ask next.

“Apparated,” he shrugs, as though I know exactly what that is.

Taking my hand, he guides me over to sit on the bed. “So, you’re happy to see me?”

Look at him as if he has three heads. Why wouldn’t I be excited? He’s here, that’s all I wanted! “Of course!” I gush, giving his hands a comforting squeeze.

“I wasn’t sure after what happened if… if you hated me now,” he stammers, a gloomy expression plaguing his features. He glancing away from my eyes at the floor, clearly, a thought troubling him.

Slowly, I reach up and caress his cheek. Subtly, he leans into my touch as his eyes fall shut. He’s so beautiful, the sight of him nearly makes my eyes well with tears. In my chest, a strong urge to protect and comfort him swallows me up. Leaning forward, I rest my forehead against his shoulder. Sirius’s hand rests against my knee, his thumb rubbing across my skin softly.

“I saw you and everything else became irrelevant somehow,” I describe quietly, remembering the moment as if I were experiencing it now.

His touch makes me feel so safe and warm. I can’t help but yearn for us to be closer if that’s even possible. I’ve never felt this way for anyone. I can’t imagine a life without him now.

“I knew the moment my eyes landed on you that we were meant to meet tonight,” Sirius mutters. His hand tucks under my chin, leading me to look him in the eye. His gazes pour into me, reaching every depth of my soul. “You are my world now, Y/N,” he confesses, making my heart stop.

A breathless laugh escapes me, I can’t believe it. Everything is too good to be true. “And you’re mine. From now on, I’m yours, always.”

“Forever,” he nods, taking my hands in his longing. “Y/N, I wish to never be parted from you.”

“But, my brother, your friends-”

“None of them matter,” he claims, pretending to wave them away. “All that matters is you and me.”

“If only there were a way we could get out of here, run away, even for a little while!” I wish, wanting nothing more than there to be just us. There would be no outside forces trying to keep us apart.

“Let’s do it!” Sirius declares as enthused than me, if not more. He leaps up from the bed beside me. Taking my hands, he brings me along with him. “We can go anywhere! We can see the world!”

I giggle, he sounds like a child. These sorts of things don’t just happen, especially for an ordinary human like me.

“There’s a whole world out there, Y/N! It’s just waiting for us!” He illustrates the most incredible visions for me with a bright smile.

“It’s a lovely dream,” I express, not fully convinced we could do it. There are so many factors we have to consider. “But it’s impossible…”

He narrows his eyes with a mischievous smirk, “you forget a very important point.”

I snicker, “And what is that?”

“You’re talking to a wizard,” he reminds ever so confidently. His hand gestures up to my bedroom ceiling with a subtle wave of the wrist. “Look,” he instructs, flicking his attention to my ceiling.

When I peer up toward my ceiling, I’m met with a clear starry sky. My jaw drops, how is this possible? It’s as though there’s no ceiling at all!

Sirius leans over my shoulder, “it’s an enchantment. It’ll appear every night, so when you go to sleep you’ll be sleeping under the stars.” Amazed, I can’t pry my eyes away from it.

“Let me give you anything you desire, everything and anything,” Sirius whispers in my ear, wrapping his arms around me as I feel his chest against my back. I rest my head back against his chest, admiring the stars. “I can take you far from here, far beyond anywhere you could ever imagine, to the heavens! Everything you would ever wish for I could give to you. Every day will be filled with extraordinary things and each day will better than the last!”

I turn in his arms, resting my arms around his neck. “I want to see the universe with you, Sirius! Spend every minute from now on in your arms.”

The edge of his lips rises to a smirk as his hand cups my face. His eyes flicker between my eyes and my lips. He leans down and I reach up to kiss him. Then, there’s a sudden knock at my door before we have the chance. Sirius and I jump apart, staring at the door anxiously

“Y/N?” I hear Lauren in the hallway. “Are you awake?”

I look to Sirius worriedly, “you have to go!”

He takes my hands in his, “but when will I see you again?!”

I press my lips together. I hardly have any alone time. Brady will be suspicious if I disappear for a while. “Brady and the others are spending the day at the park tomorrow. Come by here around one o’clock!”

“Okay,” he grins, caressing my cheek softly as he towers over me. “I’ll be counting down the hours.

“And appear or whatever you call it like you did tonight!” I instruct urgently. “In case they don’t leave on time!”

He snickers at me, “yes, alright. I will apparate.” There’s a pause for a moment and his face falls. “I don’t want to leave you…”

“I don’t want you to leave,” I confess sorrowfully.

“Y/N?” Lauren knocks again.

“But you have to!” I urge Sirius along swiftly.

“Yes right,” he peers at the door, his eyes wide with anxiety.

Meeting my gaze, he starts backing away from me. Sirius holds onto my hands for as long as possible until I’m too far out of reach. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he assures me. Then, in a blink, he whips away into thin air. Flashes of colors weaving through air, I’ve never seen anything like it.

The door to my bedroom creaks open slowly and I whip my head in its direction. Lauren appears in the doorway, the lights from the hall pour into my otherwise dark room. My attention briefly flickers up to my ceiling, the stars lingering above us. Oh dear, I pray to God she doesn’t notice. Lauren leans against the doorframe, wrapping herself with her sweater, having changed into her pajamas.

“I just wanted to say goodnight and a happy birthday one last time,” she explains with a soft smile.

“Oh uh… thank you!” I stammer nervously.

“I know your brother can be… well, a hard-ass sometimes,” she laughs at Brady’s expense. “But he means well. He absolutely adores you, I hope you know that.”

I nod, hoping I don’t appear frantic. “I do! Yes, I know!”

She hums, nodding her head slowly. Visibly, she doesn’t appear suspicious and I start to think I’ll get away with this without a problem. “Are you joining us tomorrow at the park?”

I shake my head, “No uh, no I don’t so.” I struggle to come up with an excuse, then one pops into my head. “I have to return the dress from tonight. Yeah, Brady won’t let me keep it so…”

She sighs in understanding, pushing off the doorframe, “oh well, alright. I’ll see you at breakfast. Goodnight, sleep well,” she waves before reaching for the door handle.

“Goodnight!” I rush outright as the door clicks.

Once I’m in the safe zone, I fall back onto my bed with a sigh of relief. My heart pounds in my chest as though I just ran a mile. I doubt I’ll get much sleep tonight. Then again, if I dream I may dream of Sirius and the hours will go by faster. I stare up at the starry sky Sirius conjured for me. My heart gleams at the sight. Then, I notice it, the Sirius star placed ever so perfectly right above my bed. I giggle lightly, he certainly did that on purpose. It’s utterly perfect, just like Sirius himself. The two best birthday presents in my life.

____________________________

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