#also lol imagine this is the book we actually get more than 5 pages worth of gedeon in

[eliotquillon]

HANNAH MATHEWSON BACK ON INSTAGRAM WITH VAGUE CAPTIONS ABOUT WRITING AGAIN…..PLEASEEEE IF THERE’S A GOD LET HER HAVE COME TO A DEAL FOR WITHERWARD BOOK 3

[mypoisonedvine]

Seeing Red | bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x reader (part 7)

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6)

series summary: bucky used to brag that he didn’t have a celebrity crush, or really care about famous people at all, which is what made him the perfect person to start working for a celebrity like yourself.  except, of course, it’s just his luck that he’d fall for you.  

word count: 2.5k

warnings: um just implied smut and fluff and a reference to bdsm I guess?? but it's pretty chill overall

Liked by starkcosmetics and others

y/n.y/l/n okay first of all, it takes an act of god to get a picture of this guy smiling, but it’s always worth it.  he really changed everything for me and I can’t thank him enough for that.  so happy ❤️ 

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caroldanvers 😍😍😍

flowercrowny/n oh my god this is so sweet i’m gonna cry

1 HOUR AGO

He smiled as he stared down at the post you’d made, remembering how much effort you’d put into finding the perfect picture (in your opinion; he thought he looked kinda dopey in it) as well as writing and re-writing your caption.

The speed at which your post gained likes and comments was inconceivable to him; even more impressive was the speed at which gossip rags were picking up the story.  Sure enough, his phone’s alerts to new headlines about you were not only going off like crazy, but had started to include news about himself as well.  

Y/N Y/L/N Shocks With Romantic Instagram Post, Confirms Dating Rumors

You’ll Never Guess Which Hollywood Starlet Is Dating Her Driver

Who is James Barnes?  Everything We Know About Y/N Y/L/N’s New Beau

Skimming one of the articles, he was impressed at how much information they’d managed to get without actually getting anything from you or him.  Born in Brooklyn, disabled Army veteran, worked a list of odd jobs before becoming your driver and bodyguard.  ‘No social media presence, prefers to keep a low profile’ one of them said; you can say that again, Bucky chuckled to himself when he read it.

He found another from People and didn’t particularly appreciate that it spent half the time going through all your past exes and rumored partners (turned out ‘rumored’ is a fancy word for ‘a bunch of fans deluded themselves so hard that it somehow turned into news without any proof necessary’).  But he still smiled when he got to the part that was actually about you and him.

‘The relationship is pretty new but they’re so happy together,’  a source close to the couple reported.  

Close indeed; that statement came from your publicist, who he’d never even meet.  

‘He’s a very private guy and she’s got this huge following, so they’re sort of an odd couple in that way, but she knows her fans are respectful and will let them have their own life outside of the spotlight.’ 

Bucky wasn’t sure that the respectfulness of fans was such a given here, but he hoped you were right.  To be fair, they’d been very sweet on your original post insofar. 

However, when he scrolled to the bottom of the celebrity magazine articles and realized they had their own comments section, he discovered that they were a little less forgiving than the ones on your Instagram.  

Is this the best she thinks she can do?  So sad tbh :(

a military guy…. yikes, she could get any guy she wants and she goes for a murderer. 

He looks like a hobo that found a coupon for a free haircut lol

I don’t buy it, I know she’ll always love Pietro!

Pietro being your former co-star that so many of your fans were convinced was actually your soulmate.  From what he’d heard from you, those speculations had made things so uncomfortable between the two of you that it killed your friendship.  Those were nothing, though, compared to the comments about someone you actually had dated.

she’s obviously not over sam… they were so good together

He’d better watch out for her ex, he still likes tweets about her and they have so much chemistry

Wait, she’s not still with Sam Wilson??  I could’ve sworn they’d been dating for, like, five years.

You were scrolling through your phone with a smile as you walked past where he was sitting on the couch, and he just couldn’t help himself from asking even though he knew it wasn’t the best idea.  “Do I need to worry about this Sam thing?” he blurted out, trying to play it cool and not sound too anxious.  “People are really obsessed with you two…”

“Sam and I…” you sighed, staring off into space for a second.  He made himself anxious imagining what you were thinking about in that moment.  “I haven’t talked to him in… years?  I think it’s just because our relationship was so public that people are still talking about it.  And it had a lot of gossip material— we did a movie together, people thought it was sweet that we got together during production, it was great promotion for the picture… and from the outside, we made a lot of sense for each other.  But he has his own problems.  I loved him, but… he wasn’t ever going to be a one-girl kinda guy.”

“But you’re not just any one girl.  You’re… you know, you,” he emphasized.

“You’ve been reading too many headlines,” you shook your head as you sat down beside him.  “Please don’t turn into one of those guys who thinks of me as a celebrity first.  Before that—” you pointed to your own name where it was bolded on his screen in the trending topics page of Twitter— “was popping up on movie posters and in gossip magazines, it was just my name.  And I’m not perfect.  Not even close.”

Bucky sighed and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into him and holding you tightly.  “And before I knew you were famous, or rich, or incredibly talented, I was totally obsessed with you just for who you are.”

“You’re too fucking amazing,” you sighed as you held his face and gave him a gentle kiss— the kind of kiss that instantly melted his heart and banished his worries.  When you pulled back and looked up at him with a smile, it was like everything else just… faded away.  “Don’t read the comments, okay?  None of them matter.”

He smiled and brushed his thumb over your cheek, overwhelmed by not only the softness of your skin but of your spirit as well.  In all his life he’d never been handled so… gently, with so much care.  “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” he mumbled, not even really realizing he’d said it aloud until you gave him a beaming smile.

“I can’t believe you’re my boyfriend,” you giggled pridefully.

“Seriously?  I can… very easily believe it,” he scoffed.

“I just mean… you’re so…” you searched for the words.  “You’re actually good to me, that’s the thing.  I’m not used to that.”

“You deserve the world,” he assured.  “I’m just gonna keep trying to give you as much of it as I can find.”

He watched his hand trail over your face, down your neck and to your chest where he played with the hem of your t-shirt.

"It's odd to know there are millions of people who are jealous of me,” he admitted quietly, remembering some aggressive comments from some very angry dudes who had apparently also watched your nude scene a few too many times.

"Do you like it?  Do you like how it feels to know you're making them angry every time you touch me?"

"Couldn't care less," he refuted.  "Nobody else matters when I'm touchin' you."

“Do you maybe wanna… touch me a little more about it?” you smirked, opening your legs slightly in invitation.

“Always.”

//

Bucky had, thankfully, not let the newfound fame get to his head.  In fact, he had demanded that the two of you hunker down in the house, since he feared that going out would lead to being recognized.  What he apparently hadn’t anticipated was that that might not be enough.

“Will you get that?” you requested when the gate buzzed, too wrapped up in the book you were reading to answer the intercom.

He hopped up and held down the button to communicate with the gate speaker.  “Who is it?” he asked.

“I’ve got a delivery from Anjappar Chettinad on 23rd?”

Bucky didn’t even reply before hitting the green button and granting access to the driveway.  BEEP BEEP BEEP! you heard the gate signal its opening, and the car pulling around up to the door.  Bucky didn’t open it until there was a knock, greeting the delivery guy with a smile and the necessary cash.

“I’ve got a lamb korma, hyderabadi mutton dum biryani and an order of— woah,” the man suddenly stopped, staring at Bucky’s face.  “Are you—?’

“Hungry?  Yes,” he frowned.

“You’re the guy dating— holy shit, congrats man,” he beamed, smacking Bucky on the shoulder pridefully before leaning in with a mischievous smirk.  “Say, is she a freak or what?”

“She is,” you piped up from the couch, making both men turn their heads; but one was chuckling while the other looked mortified.  “You better not have forgotten my paneer pakora or I’m gonna chain you up and whip you.”

“Uh, I— no, I got it right here,” he promised weakly, handing the bag over to Bucky and starting to dash away before Bucky grabbed his arm, making the smaller man whimper fearfully.

“You forgot the money,” Bucky reminded him gruffly, stuffing the bills into the driver’s front pocket.

Finally, he let go, and the delivery man instantly pulled away, rubbing his arm and looking a bit like a kicked puppy as he went back to his car and drove away.

“You didn’t need to scare him that bad,” Bucky chuckled.

“I could say the same to you!  Grabbing somebody with the metal arm like that will put the fear of God into them pretty fast.”

“I didn’t mean to grab him that hard,” he admitted, examining the prosthetic hand as he came back to the couch with the bag of food, handing it to you while he focused on watching his motorized fingers curl and uncurl.  “I think I need to get this thing recalibrated… it’s been bugging out lately.”

“I dunno, it was working just fine last night,” you smiled, remembering how delightfully cool those fingers felt inside you.

Bucky seemed to miss it entirely, though, as he stared off into space.  “I can’t believe I got… recognized.”

“You’re a star,” you winked.  “And not just with random delivery drivers.  I’ve had a lot of press requests, everybody wants to be the first one to get nice pictures of us together— we’ve had a dozen event invites as a couple.”

“Seriously?!” he scoffed, snapping back to reality slightly enough 

“Yeah, and look what came in same-day mail this morning!”  You leaned over to shuffle through the mail on the side table before finding and handing him a letter in a gold-embossed envelope, watching him read what you knew was inside.

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association extends an invitation to Y/N Y/L/N and James Barnes to the annual Grant Banquet in support of the Young Artists Fund.

“It seems like a good first event for us,” you explained.  “Relatively small and low stakes, it’s for a good cause…”

“Are you sure I’m ready to be, you know… seen?  By people?” 

You scoffed, hardly believing how insecure he could be sometimes.  “You look great, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Will I have to talk to anybody other than you?” he asked, grimacing as if that were a form of brutal torture.

“Probably,” you admitted.

His frown deepened.  “What if I say the wrong thing?”

“I’m not that worried about you,” you smirked.  “You’re a lot better at this stuff than you think you are.”

“I don’t have anything to wear…”

You smirked, a little too proud of yourself, when you remembered the email your publicist had forwarded to you just this morning.  “Hugo Boss will pay you $1500 to wear one of their suits on the carpet.”

“They’ll pay me to wear free clothes?” he repeated with wide eyes.

“Yeah, that’s one of the cooler things about fame,” you laughed.  “I make a grand every time I wear this watch outside!”

“I guess I should send them my measurements then…” he trailed off.  “Any chance I can get in on that watch deal?”

“No, but you can make $50 by getting papped at Jamba Juice.”

He paused for a moment, scratching the back of his neck as he thought.  “Is the smoothie comped?”

“I don’t know.  Do you want me to ask?”

“...kinda…” he admitted with a shy smile.  

“Well, I will, and I’ll RSVP to this invite saying we’ll be there next week,” you decided as you started to open up the food, but Bucky stopped you by reaching for your hands.

“Are we really doing this?” he asked.

“If you want to,” you mitigated.

“Of course I do.  I guess I have to accept that you’re actually willing to be seen with me,” he chuckled.  “It’s just sort of hard to believe.”

You leaned in and kissed him; it was meant to be a casual, reassuring peck but he held you closer and you melted into him, moaning softly at his touch as you started to climb into his lap.

“The food’s gonna get cold,” he reminded you with a mumble against your lips.

Unfortunately, your literal hunger was a bit too strong to ignore, even with the growing intensity of a metaphorical hunger for Bucky.  “Alright,” you relented, getting off of him and returning your attention to the meal on the table.  “Just know that I really, really want to be seen together, in public, just in case anybody missed the news about us already.  I’m not embarrassed by you or afraid you’re going to do something dumb.  I…”

One of those words that can’t be unsaid started to bubble up in your throat and you coughed, banishing the thought.

“I really like you.  I think we have something special.”

He smiled gently, giving you one more kiss on the cheek.  “I think so, too.”

//

Since this was slightly less of a big deal than a premiere or press tour, you had managed to convince your styling team to let you dress yourself, which was why he was laying on the bed and talking to you through the bathroom door while you put on your gown.

“Do you want me to hire a new driver?” you prompted him, voice muffled slightly as he imagined your head covered in the fabric, trying to navigate through the dress.  “I don’t want you to feel… I don’t know, like a servant?”

“A servant?  You’re still paying me,” he reminded you.  “You are still paying me, right?”

“Yes,” you laughed, “but still, I would hate it if you felt like staff.  You’re my boyfriend!”

(His heart still fluttered every time you said it.)

“No new driver,” he decided.  “I can drive just fine, and considering how things went between us… let’s not open the door for anybody else,” he smirked, making you laugh in that way you did when he made a stupid joke but you still liked it somehow.

“Okay, sure, but what about being my bodyguard?  Is that too weird?” you continued.

“God no,” he scoffed, “if anything I’m gonna be better at my job than ever.  As your boyfriend, keeping you safe is my job, but since keeping you safe was already my job… it’s, like, doubled-up now.”

He lost his train of thought when you opened the door.

“How do I look?” you asked as you stepped in and gave him a spin in your new dress.  Your whole body was draped in red silk, with the exception of your back which was almost entirely exposed, as if it were begging him to run his fingers down your spine.

“Like everything I ever wanted,” he blurted out before he could stop himself.

And it was so odd that you questioned his desire to drive you, because those moments where he could steer with one hand and rest the other on your thigh, when he could catch a glimpse of you looking out the window at the city rolling by, when he got to listen to you ramble about something to kill the time during a drive; those were his favorite moments, and he wouldn’t trade them for anything.

After a relatively brief trip, you arrived at the venue, and all of a sudden he was doing what he’d fantasized about more than he’d like to admit: escorting you down a red carpet.  It was almost overwhelming— yelling, chattering, reporters speaking into camera, flashes going off in every direction—

“Hey,” you whispered, bringing your hand up to his cheek and instantly taking all his attention.

“Hey,” he returned.

“Just follow my lead,” you instructed.

“That was the plan.”

[theroguequeenaniki]

Questions 2009 -> 2021

This is from my Facebook. It popped up on my memories page thing. I originally answered this in 2009 when I was 15, it’s now 2021 & and I am 27, so I’m gonna do it again. Leaving the original answers. Original answers will be italicized. Commentary on the original answers in parentheses & crossed out? Lol. (I’m not gonna tag anyone, but, like, I guess if you want to answer these random questions from Facebook 12 years ago, go ahead lol) 

Questions

Can you fill this out without lying? You've been tagged, so now you need to answer all the questions HONESTLY. At the end, choose people to tag. Don't forget to tag me so I can see your answers! To do this, copy this entire message, then go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, delete my answers, and type yours. Easy! Next, tag people that you think may enjoy this (in the right hand corner of the app). Click publish (at the bottom). Have fun! :) 1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth? My cup with my Big Red in it The straw to my Kate Spade tumbler to drink my HEB Cola Lol.

2.Where was your profile picture taken? I got it off the internet. it's a random anime girl. My bedroom. 3.Can you play Guitar Hero? Never played it. Probably wouldn't be good at it. Not to good at video games. But I am good at Mario Cart, both 64 and the Wii. plus I'm good at some Sonic games. Still never played it. Idk if I’m any good at Mario Cart or the Sonic games anymore, I haven’t played either in years lol

4.Name someone who made you laugh today? Doctor Who TikTok. My cats.

5.How late did you stay up last night and why? Umm, probably about 10:00 cause it took me forevor to get into bed. Uh..Past 4am. Lol. B/c my sleep schedule is fucked. I was in bed by 3am though, but I was playing games & watching TikToks on my phone. Lol.

6.If you could move somewhere else, would you? Yes. I'd move to either New York or Sweden. I don’t know. Part of me says yes. But part of me says no..b/c even though Texas has it’s faults (a LOT of them), I cannot imagine living anywhere else long-term..

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? HAHA. Yeah right. I've never even been kissed! Still nope. I have been kissed though. He just didn’t kiss me under the fireworks the one NYE we spent together...

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you? Um, I think R, but D might also. D is accross Stasney from me and R is a couple blocks down (I don’t talk to these people much anymore & I’m not going to share their names on Tumblr) Uh. I think Maybe Raven? B/c they’re the only one who lives in the same city still. But, Sarah might technically be closer distance wise? Hold on. Ok, yeah, Sarah’s closer, even though she doesn’t live in this city anymore.

9. Do you believe exes can be friends? It all depends on the situation.(I totally stold M's answer but it's true) (I don’t talk to this person anymore & I’m not gonna share their name on Tumblr) I mean, yeah. Two of my best friends are each others exes and they’re still friends. I haven’t stayed friend with my ex, but, uh, he ghosted me so? Lol.

10. How do you feel about Dr. Pepper? I love it. I still love it. Lol.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard? I can't remember. I don't think it was that long ago, I had a light cry on Saturday, but I don't remember the last time I cried really hard. When we got back from our trip in July. Had a full on breakdown that night. Overheated all weekend. Overwhelmed. Anxiety. It was not a very good vacation..I cry a lot though.

12. Who took your profile picture? I got it off of google. I did. 

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of? Umm, either myself, or one of my family members. Aside from myself. I think my dad, on his phone, b/c there was a cicada on his shoulder and he wanted to ask the family group chat if he could keep it. Lol. I take a LOT of pictures of cats though. Lol.

14. Was yesterday better than today? Hail yes! To much drama today! And I couldn't avoid it cause I was in the middle of it! (Oof, what drama was 15 yo Linda dealing with that she couldn’t avoid? Lol. I mean, I guess, Sophomore year was a bit full of drama lol) Anyway, I mean, they were pretty much the same. One wasn’t better than the other. One wasn’t worse than the other.

15. Can you live a day without TV? yeah. Now Music there is something I can't live without! Yep, Do it almost everyday. Sentiments about music remain the same. Lol.

16. Are you upset about anything? Yes. I'm annoyed about something and it's making me upset. (I assume this has something to do with the the drama mentioned earlier lol) Always. Anxiety & depression are a bitch. My rooms a mess & I can’t get myself to clean it. My shelves are still a mess.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? yeah. though i havent really had one yet. I mean, yeah. Even though I haven’t had one last, aside from friendships, but they’re worth it. 

18. Are you a bad influence? I hope not. If so, let me know.(again I took M's answer but it's true) Probably. Idk. Lol.

19. Night out or night in? Depends on what's going on and how I feel about it. Night in usually. I do like going out sometimes, but, like, to dinner. Maybe a movie or a show. But, you know, we’ve been in a panini press, the only thing I’ve been comfortable doing is going to dinner (fully vaxxed & masked). But I also prefer staying home anyway. (Like I usually just go to dinner with my family lol)

20. What items could you not go without during the day? my computer. my book. my journal and a pen. My phone. My journal (b/c I write in it every night, as a diary, 14yo Linda wrote stories). Uh. I didn’t take food or drinks into account in the og, so I won’t in those. But, yeah. My phone & journal. I can go a day without my laptop if I need to. (Went the whole trip in July without pulling it out, though maybe that’s not a good example since my anxiety on that trip was so high..) I want to say a book, but I’ve been in a massive reading slump so...I wish I read as much as 15yo Linda did..

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? I don't remember. I think it was myself.(if you want to know, ask me in person) I honestly don’t know. I don’t remember the last time I was in a hospital. 

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say? "Mrbobbybones:  wish ted would finally meet their mother already. geez. get to it. However, I see myself in that character more and more each episode." yeah. That's what it says. It's from Twitter. (Huh? and I can’t even go check b/c my inbox doesn’t go back to 2009 on Twitter?? (I haven’t had my account that long) Wait wait wait just remembered I used to get tweets to my phone as text messages lol)

Facebook messenger: “ Cool” From our group chat. Lol.

From actual text messages on my phone: “ heeey! Just put up the Tuesday PDS just for you  it’s a big one.” From Phillip Defranco’s text line Lol.

23. How do you feel about your life right now? I'm loving and hating it. but hey nobody gets out alive right? Uh..I mean. I’m alive. I have WiFi. Food. Family. I haven’t seen my friends in 2 years. (Minus Alex, b/c they were here in July to cat/house sit, but I saw them for like, one night..) There’s a lot that could be better. A lot that could be worse. 

24. Do you hate anyone? yes!!! Oof. I mean, kinda.

25. If we were to look in your Facebook Inbox, what would we find? some random conversations. most of my convos on her though have been in chat or through comments. Facebook Inbox is now Facebook Messenger. So you’ll find all my Facebook Messenger convos. Mostly our group chat. And side group chats for secret planning (birthdays & stuff). Plus other chats? Lol.

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? I better! (excuse me miss 15yo Linda you absolutely could have passed a drug test you ALSO didn’t drink or smoke or take any drugs lol) Yeah. Absolutely. I don’t drink or smoke or take any drugs so, yeah? Lol.

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? 

Yes. But I can't remember when... Yeah. Pretty sure. 

28. What song is stuck in your head? Gee by SNSD(Girls Generation) They're Korean. A few My Chemical Romance songs

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be? EDWARD CULLEN! Joke! lol. No I don't know. If it was Edward, I'd call the cops. whoever it is though better have an explaination or they are gonna get hit in the head with my Book of Shadows. (Maybe I wouldn’t mind Edward at my window though? Lol.) Uh. My friends? Lol. Idk if I want anyone knocking on my window at 2am.

30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50? I don't know....... Uh. No? Idk. Most likely not gonna happen. 

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow? I can't think of anything right now... Eat. Should probably clean my room.

32. Do you think too much or too little? Way to much! lol. Way way way too much

33. Do you smile a lot? i try to. I think I do. I get told that alot in Theater...

I think so

[queerbra-rian]

REVIEW ; ALL FOR THE GAME SERIE - By. NORA SAKAVIC

------

⚠ Trigger Warning : The book talk about lot of drug use, of overdosing, underage drinking, loss of a loved one, suicide, there's also mention of cutting, drugging someone, jokes about rape, physical abuse, talk of past parental abuse, ableist insults, homophobic slurs (the f word), and use of the r word. Be aware of this before reading. It’s also as spoiler free as it can be.

Genre: YA, Contemporary, sports, fiction, gangster, romance, mlm,

Pages:

1) 237 (book 1)

2) 423 (book 2)

3) 556 (book 3)

Rating: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

All for the Game is a 2013 book series by Nora Sakavic. The story revolves around the Palmetto State Foxes, an NCAA Exy team with the main plot being centered around Neil Josten, a kid on the run from his mob boss father. It is primarily a sports story and follows a storyline typical of the genre—with added drugs, violence, and gangsters.

Main character Neil Josten is in hiding, on the run from his mob boss father. He's a Consummate Liar who's just trying to lie low, but when he plays Exy for his latest high school, he somehow catches the attention of David Wymack, head coach of a Class I college team. He shouldn't say yes to the offer, but he does—and is instantly plunged into a world of tangled relationships, shady deals, lots of violence, and The Power of Friendship.

The series consists of three books:

The Foxhole Court

The Raven King

The King's Men

---

REVIEW:

Oh man. Where do I start with this. Probably with the beggining as to why do I read the all for the game serie, since its a 2013 novel ? Because well, I saw it plastered everywhere since day one on instagram. And the curious side of me wanted to dive deeper into it. At first, I wasn't sure about it and would gladly skip it, because gangster story and sports wasn't at all my thing (mind y'all that I now have 3 sports + lgbt YA book yet to read in my tbr since I've started TFC) but what a mistake ! I now consider myself a fox, even bought the paperback copies (lol I know) and I ship a lot of thing in that book. For this review though, i'll try and go as spoiler free as I can.

First of all, I love Exy. Even tho it doesn't make any sense at all, as a sport itself, I found myself imagining everything perfectly. Like imagine LaCrosse, but with hockey's violent part and that is amazing. That's how I pictured Exy and that's how I would play it. But let's put that aside in favor of talking about the cast. What I have to say first is that I didn't know you could put so much side story in a book without it being too much ! Every or so key character got their own moment of glory through the serie and that's amazing. You could believe the whole plot would be centered around Neil Josten, as the synopsis is implying, but no! it became from time to time more a snippet of the other of the team and man that is story telling and character developpement at its finest.

I won't lie, my first impression of the book would have been, as I saw a lot of fantastic fanart that would imply it, that Neil and Andrew would fall in love together in the cheekiest way possible and then they would be okay together and live happily ever after, but how I was wrong and how I ship it ! I want more story with a clingy but not so much relationship ! (But maybe not centered around abuse, because that suck).

Anyway, I will try to summarize everything in less than an actual book and start with the main plot. It's actually an awful start of a plot, since we talk about a runaway child being signed in the worst team of the Class I exy team. (And the fuck how they magically start to win everything after Neil arrival and despite everything that happen to them between the three books. How do they do that ?! ) then come into the equation the Edgar Allan's Raven. A whole team of archnemesis to the Foxes. Dun dun Duuunn !

For most part, Exy is useless for the main plot and just an unpleasant distraction from the important part, which is Riko Moriyama being an assbutt and Kevin Day a crybaby. Okay no. They are, but it's far more complicated than that. The more I wrote down that review, the more I realise that the plot is sh*t, but what makes this story interesting is the craving to know what the fuck is happening, from this constant need to believe that the love affair between Neil and Andrew is going to end in something completly different that the unholy thing it is in the first few half of the two first book. (We are far from this bullcrap of hater to lover rag, since it's more about Andrew and Neil’s relationship is based around physical expressions of affection and respect, as opposed to verbally lovey dovey stuff) to the need to know if one of them is going to get killed (hint; there is definitly some killing involved, this is a damn gangster story after all)

I gave it 5 stars because it got me hooked, not because that's the best story ever. Mind y'all, because AFTG serie is just like reading an AU fanfic, well kinda. But probably because of the character developement. As I said earlier in this exact review, I love how everyone has their part of the story, even Riko and Jean at some point, that are in the opposite team (the baddies). I also love how you unravel certain mystery through the books. It's not about a reckless teenager afraid of living, but about a whole group (team) being challenged by life and the weight that carry each of them.

Is it worth reading? I'd say yes, because it get better. Surprisingly, I want another book too. Just for the sake of knowing what would happen at court.

Notable quote:

“It's about second chances, Neil. Second, third, fourth, whatever, as long as you get at least one more than what anyone else wanted to give you.”

[diteach]

2020 in review

I was tagged by @apeironaxiomaton to look back at 2020 and pretty much to try and not hate it so much! Thank you!!

Also I’m stealing the idea of putting everything under a cut, which I have never done in my life (and probably should start doing) bc it makes things neat as heck. Almost none of these are in a particular order.

Top 5 movies I saw this year:

Volevo Nascondermi by Giorgio Diritti - this movie is REALLY good AND I have good memories tied to the protagonist for Reasons I’m gonna cry bye (a shame that I’ve only watched this other excellent movie starring Elio Germano tonight bc it should be on this list)

Emma (2020)

The King’s Speech

Spirited Away or Porco Rosso - I had watched the first before and never the second so I think the fairer choice would be Porco Rosso but I’m not entirely convinced of it

The Wolf of Wall Street - look, I simply have a weak spot for stories that are so absurd they can be nothing but real (see “the other Elio Germano movie”)

Top 5 TV shows I watched this year:

Murdoch Mysteries - it will stay engraved in the first place of EVERY chart in saecula saeculorum and NO nothing can take its place I don’t care

Peaky Blinders

Alias Grace - which I was sure was a movie? I was so shocked to discover it isn’t like was it really six hours long what the

The Queen’s Gambit

Suburra: Blood on Rome - “The series was developed by Daniele Cesarano and Barbara Petronio for Netflix, making it its first Italian-language original television series.” I’ll be honest, some bits were a little bit hmm-inducing. Not the best tv series I’ve ever seen, but it managed to be fun and easy to watch. Suspenseful even!

Top 5 Songs:

So there’s a reason why Spotify said I’m an octogenarian this year and for as much as I complain about it... it’s right... Spotify’s right. And it will only get worse, I’m afraid. All the songs are from the same playlist which was my most listened to (and is the most interesting to share imo). I swear I have listened to other, newer things as well.

Shake That Thing by The Abe Lyman’s California Orchestra

Night Hawk Blues by The Coon-Sander’s Nighthawk Original Orchestra

Where the Sweet Forget-Me-Nots Remember by Merle Johnston and His Ceco Couriers (I’ve loved these flowers since I was a kid it was so nice to find a song with them in the title!!)

Dew Dew Dewey Day by Nat Shilkret

The Panic is On by Mezz Mezzrow And His Swing Band

Top 5 Books I Read This Year:

so this is embarrassing,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I “bought” an insane amount of books and read a grand total of...like...t w o. It was actually like four and some short stories (which I hated and are therefore banished from the good boy list) so I’m gonna list my silly little titles and make my silly little comments about them all. From “””””best””””” to “worst” we have:

The Adventures of a Modest Man by Robert W. Chambers - I literally cannot shut up about this book and, yes, it is the one tied to this illustration, about which I equally cannot shut up about. It’s so horrible that it makes a 360 and comes back as good, but not before hitting you with a cardboard tube for a laugh and subsequently stabbing you in the kidneys just because it can. I think we can confidently state that we are in the “I didn’t say it was good, I said I liked it” realm. I have so many questions about this book. Why was it written? Was it taking itself seriously? Was it commissioned by someone? Why is it so gay but only if you know that the author is a man? Maybe it’s a parody? Was it an experiment made by the author to test his own skill? I know jack about literature, unfortunately, so grain of salt here but it made me feel strong feels. Not that I could identify any of them if you asked, but they’re definitely there.

Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats by T.S. Eliot - I’m counting this in bc what is a book if not a patchwork of silly little paragraphs anyway so yes, we have a collection of poems. Not only do I know jack about literature; as a matter of fact, I know jack about poetry as well! All I’m gonna say is: I like cute things, I like cats, the poems were cute AND about cats. I really liked it! I often find myself going back and reading again specific parts just for the delight it is to read them out loud! I also may or may not have named the cats you can adopt in Stardew Valley after some of Eliot’s cats. The movie Cats (2019) did one good thing: making me read this.

How You Can Keep Fit by Rudolph Valentino - Yes, that is correct. A book on fitness written (in English!) by silent movie superstar Rodolfo Valentino. It is less than 100 pages on real, actual exercises that the reader can replicate in the comfort of their own house with little to no equipment. With a sprinkle of old timey manly manner of speaking, a few anecdotes from the author’s childhood in ye merry Italian countryside, a dusting of precious advice against ice-cream, and a dash of genuine intrigue for these newly discovered “vitamins” everyone is talking about. Overall a fascinating read that I treasure dearly! Valentino also wrote a book of poems, which I am absolutely thrilled to read this year.

For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway - Hmm.. I have mixed feelings about this one. Whenever the original language of a book is English, I instinctively want to read it in that language. Because I can! And because that way I get to read exactly what the author wrote. If it was another language, I’d get a translation, make peace with the fact that selling my soul to acquire perfect knowledge of all things is morally questionable, and call it a day. Problem: I’m a sucker for old books. And old books I did find indeed. There were three books by Hemingway for sale, very pretty, and for an almost symbolic price too so I bought them. They are Italian translations from the late 50s and my plan was to go through one in Italian, one in English, and after that, decide in which language to read the last one. I believe it was a mistake for me to start with Italian in Hemingway’s case. He’s known for having a very, VERY peculiar style that is integral to how the novels are perceived and I feel like I've robbed myself of literal peace of mind. For as much as I found the story interesting, I could not ignore the voice in the back of my head that kept wondering “was it necessary to render it like this?”. It did make me feel feels and think thoughts, but honestly? It was partially for the wrong reasons imo. It’s one of those books you should read at least once in your life, I guess, so I’m definitely glad I did it! Surprisingly, it captured me more than I expected and trapped me into its little world. I could clearly imagine the scenes in my head, which hadn’t happened in years! I’m really excited to move on to the next two books and finally be able to say if I appreciate his style or not.

Top 5 positive things that happened to me in 2020:

Visited Rome and took a stroll around on my own (sort of) for the first time in my life. I had never seen it at night :) Right after that I celebrated my birthday and got some cute gifts, including sweets that were sent all the way from Australia!!

Managed to buy my mom a gift, which is possibly the only real Accomplishment of 2020.

Took a bizarre trip this summer (I know, guilty) and fell in love with Slovenia

Discovering I like textile arts kinda gave me hope for myself and for the future. I say kinda for I dare not think concretely of anything too positive lest it should be prematurely taken from me. I shan’t elaborate. It is what it is.

Therapy!!!

The last few months of 2020 really hit me hard whereas in the beginning nothing was too bad so it was nice to see the list growing and growing! So many tiny good things happened and it’s worth to cling onto them. I’m tagging @sonicysuchillydog, @nurmilintunen, @alfonzone and anyone else who’d like to participate!! “Tell them I sent you” lol. Guys.............if you don’t feel like going thru your 2020 feel free to ignore bc......I get it............................

[spearfeld]

So I just finished Love, Creekwood

Some spoiler-filled thoughts under the cut!

tl;dr 4/5, it was super cute but I was confused about some things and didn’t think everything worked

Overall, I liked it. It was cute as fuck, and it was nice getting to see the squad again. I have some good to say about it, some bad, and then just some...questions. Let’s start with the good:

Becky’s writing style is as cute and as charming as ever. There were multiple parts of the book that had me laughing out loud, even if maybe not as strongly as I did while reading Simon, Leah, and watching Love Simon and Victor. Drunk Simon makes a reappearance, and it is everything. EVERYTHING. I love that boy so much and he only gets more adorable when he drinks lol.

I love the whole theming of “save states” and wanting to keep moments forever and go back to them, and the idea of holding onto the past. That’s a really unique way of tackling an interesting topic, and I love it quite a bit.

And this isn’t really a bad thing, sort of just an observation, but when Plot Things started happening, it really shocked me, because I forgot that books are supposed to have a plot lmfao. Maybe it is a bit of a criticism, but the reason that surprised me so much is because up until conflict started arising, it really was feeling just like supplemental material, just some cute fluff, the kind of stuff I would go on ao3 to read fanfic about. That’s not necessarily a bad thing--it is very cute and very fluffy and very fun to read--but books do need conflict, even short 100-page novellas told entirely through e-mails.

That being said, the conflict is definitely an interesting one. Long-distance relationship stories are nothing new, of course, but this kind of conflict was teased at the end of Leah on the Offbeat, and I think it’s handled mostly well, narratively. I especially like the contrast between Simon and Bram’s relationship trying to manage long-distance, and Leah and Abby’s who are literally living together and could not be closer if they tried (except Abby does, lol, by suggesting they push their beds together, which, cute).

I’m not entirely sure the e-mail format entirely works for this story. It’s serviceable enough--Becky does a really good job at filling in blanks without spelling everything out for us, with a few exceptions that we’ll get to later--but the e-mails don’t lend themselves to enough character insight, and I found myself getting kind of lost through some of it.

For example, the main “plot” of Love, Creekwood is that Simon and Bram are struggling in their long-distance relationship (did Becky read The Whole Story, should I be pursuing legal action? /s), and that much is apparent through Simon’s e-mails with Bram, but when Simon e-mails Abby and Leah, it seems like he’s worked things out. But then Leah and Abby have their own correspondence where they’re like, “I’m worried about Simon.” And I was like...why? Oh I guess he was trying to make things seem better than they were? Okay, that didn’t super come across in the e-mail. So it was hard to tell what was actually going through the characters’ heads during the story at times. 

But trying to change the story from an e-mail format to a prose format with e-mails like the first Simon book would have taken more time and effort, and I know that Becky probably didn’t want to spend more effort than necessary on a project like this--she’s said on multiple occasions that Leah was the last book in the Simonverse and that she didn’t want to write any more books featuring Simon. I definitely think she was excited about writing this book and getting to spend time with these characters again, but I think digging them up for a full-length novel just wasn’t something she was interested in doing. I can’t blame her for this, either. She spent years in the Simonverse. Simon was her debut, and her next two books were directly related to it in some way--one being a sidestory featuring characters from Simon, and the other being a direct sequel. It’s easy to get burnt out on a world when you spend so much time involved in it, and I think Becky wanted to work on different things. So, for what it’s worth, I think this is probably the best form of this book that we could have gotten.

Also, very tiny nitpick but it was hard to see who was writing who sometimes, since all of the e-mail addresses tended to blur together sometimes, particularly in the group messages, and I think that if Becky wasn’t so dead-set on “e-mails are the thing it has to be e-mails!!” then she could have gotten away with making that an actual group chat/text and it would have read a lot cleaner.

Those are the only real negatives I can say about it, unless you count these questions I have as negatives, which, I kind of count them as half-negatives because they’re not inherently bad things, and I think ambiguity was the intent here, but it left me feeling a bit unsatisfied. Maybe this will change the more I think about the book, but regardles:

What actually happened between Simon and Bram? What’s going on with them? We spend a lot of their e-mails talking about how much they miss each other, and then there’s the whole weird Birthday/Marriage Proposal thing. And we never actually get a concrete answer as to what happened with them on the Ferris wheel. Apparently Simon said two words to Bram that “destroyed” him. And I can’t, for the life of me, figure out what those words are supposed to be.

He doesn’t seem to be upset by them, judging by how he wants to “keep that one,” so it has to be a good “destroyed.” But their emails seem to become a lot more strained after that point, and Simon has been neglecting messaging his friends, leaving Leah worried he’s spiraling. What could Simon have said to Bram that night that would change their relationship like that, and cause Simon to retreat the way he did? “Marry me?” “It’s you?” “Fuck Martin?” “Hello, lover?” Like I seriously don’t get what exactly he said there, but I get the impression that I was supposed to have inferred something, that there was something I should have picked up on to lead me to a conclusion, an answer to that question.

Did Simon ask Bram to marry him and he say no? That can’t be, because when Simon finally responds to Leah, he says that, while he does believe Bram is the one, he knows he’s not ready for it to happen right now, so I can’t imagine he would have gone through with proposing. Did he say, “It’s you,” in a callback to when their identities were first revealed? Maybe it’s supposed to be a callback to something from Simon vs that I just don’t remember, because it’s been a while since I’ve reread it.

Going back and rereading that section, it really seems like it’s a one-sided Simon thing at first, that he’s just figuring stuff out. So, if he said “it’s you” what else is there to figure out? Like, they’re still together, they’re spending their breaks together, Simon spends a whole two weeks and then some in New York with Bram, and then they hit that “This isn’t working” point. And so I’m wondering, did something happen when Simon was in New York? It’s never really said, though Abby and Leah do point out Washington Square Park and...I’m not entirely sure why?

Okay, and finally, the ending: I’m still really confused by it. Not Simon transferring to New York, that makes sense, but Bram’s reply to it doesn’t. I mean, it’s in-character and makes sense as his reaction, but I don’t understand it’s significance. What is he calling Simon about? Just, that he’s happy they’re going to be going to school together? To talk about his transfer? I don’t know, something about it just felt incomplete to me.

All of this being said, I did still enjoy this book. It was super cute and exactly the follow-up to this series that I didn’t know I needed haha. Don’t take any of my criticisms of the book as hate or anything. I love Becky, I love her writing style, and I love her characters. This book could have been fifty pages of Simon e-mailing Bram his interpretation of the themes to the Bee Movie and I’d have loved the living hell out of it. It just didn’t click all the right boxes for me, in ways I can’t entirely place my fingers on.

[oosteven-universe]

Vampire the Mas☥uerade: Winter’s Teeth #1

Vampire the Mas☥uerade: Winter’s Teeth #1 Vault Comics 2020 Written by Tim Seeley Illustrated by Devmalya Pramanik The Anarch Tales Written by Tini Howard & Blake Howard Illustrated by Nathan Gooden All Coloured by Addison Duke All Lettered by Andworld    When Cecily Baine, a courier for the Twin Cities Camarilla, takes a mysterious young vampire under her wing, she’s dragged into an insidious conspiracy. Will she be able to escape with her unlife and protect her aging, Alzheimer’s afflicted sister, or will she be yet another pawn sacrificed to the Masquerade? Meanwhile, an Anarch coterie investigates a vicious killing."    When Ralph Kramden would threaten to send Alice to the Moon we always knew what that really meant.  This book, we all knew was going to be good, but these guys actually sent us to the Moon with this.  I can’t believe I have referenced The Honeymooner’s lol.  Still that is one of the all time classic comedies and possibly the birth of comedy series as we know it and what does this have to do with the comic, well this, this is instantly a new epic classic story.  After just one issue that’s even more impressive.  I mean if you think it’s now worth reading cause it isn’t one of the big two then you aren’t a comics fan.      Before I get into this let me preface this by saying everything that follows applies to both stories, regardless of the writers or illustrators.  This book flows like it’s been done by one person which again is a feat of an accomplishment.  So everything I say is about everyone involved in this and not meant to be taken as one half or the other.     I adore the way that this is being told.  The story & plot development that we see through how the sequence of events unfold as well as how the reader learns information is presented extremely well.  We are introduced to the characters, learn enough about their roles to have the curiosity piqued perfectly and left with the desire to know more.  It’s too bad this wasn’t one of those double sized first issues.  The character development is positively exquisite!  Seeing them in action, interacting with one another and how they act and react to the situations and circumstances they face has a way of beautifully showing us more than they’d (the characters) would like.  The pacing is superb and as it takes us through the pages revealing the world to us we are able to see how all of this works together to create the story’s ebb & flow.      What I love about the interiors is that there is only the slightest variation between segments.  It feels like what someone would do when switching scenes and to me I find completely and utterly brilliant.  The linework throughout is astonishingly well laid down and how we see the varying weights and techniques utilised to showcase the detail in the work is superb!  If you didn’t know already I am very much a background supporter and what we see here is pretty amazing for a number of reasons.  Among them is how we see the panels themselves, whether or not backgrounds are utilised or not we see them filled in a way that makes sense and doesn’t leave a lot of blank space.  I feel crowded or creeped out depending on the situation and that says a lot.  The utilisation of the page layouts and how we see the angles and perspective in the panels shows such remarkable eyes for storytelling.  With Addison doing all the colour work we see such a stronger tie-in to the segments.  He’s also one of the modern masters of colouring and how he’s able to use the various techniques and how he can utilise the various hues and tones within any given colour to create the shading, highlights and shadow work is astonishing.  The creativity and imagination that we see from these folks leaves me gobsmacked at how mindbogglingly good what we see is. ​    There’s a reason Vault Comics is in my top 5 publishing houses and it’s books like this that showcase today’s best talent, brightest minds and willingness to put it out on the table for the reader.  You won’t find much that’s better than this.

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Abramazing Spider-Man #2 Thoughts

More crap.

Let’s deal out some of the minor positives I have.

The art continues to be nice.

Having a Spider-Man get into heroing via the influence of their love interest is something different for whatever that is worth.

Ben burning the suit only to then immediately regret it was a funny subersion of expectations. It made me chuckle.

The only thing I noted as derivative of older Spider-Man stories was the cliché burning of the costume in the backyard.

The recap page did a good job of catching up new readers. Yes. I’m praising the recap page. Let that sink in.

Okey dokey that’s enough now.

Whilst last issue initially made me vaguely interested before chatter surrounding me converted me into hating it, this issue was more bland and going by through the motions.

The thing is last issue so utterly tainted my (and everyone else’s) experience that I am struggling to look past the fact that this is obviously amateurish and actively deceptive of the readers.

That’s perhaps made me resentful to most of the things in the story, I know I’m probably not being fair and balanced in my approach to it.

But all I can say here is how I felt about the book and how I felt about it was supremely unimpressed.

I want to address some tiny points before diving deeper. So Peter is a super scientist but somehow he couldn’t find or design a camera that would work better for him as a one handed man?

Benny clearly never used the webshooters before and yet he’s swinging around with a degree of experience that doesn’t make sense when it’s literally his first try. Hell he’s even carrying someone while he’s at it.

I also don’t get the passage of time or the physics of the web swinging scene. So they are standing on the ground, he shoots a webline, smash cut to a splash page of them swinging, with the dialogue clearly conveying the latter clearly follows the former. Comic books are sequential storytelling. One scene or sequence should lead into another, in particular when conveying movement. Ron Frenz was a master at this, rarely if ever, were you questioning how characters moved from Position A to Position B. I don’t know if this was Pichelli’s fault or if it was Henry Abrams just wanting a cool shot but it sucks.

The recap page claims that Ben accidentally hit the bully from last issue harder than he meant to, and maybe I’m just forgetting something, but I did not get that impression. So good job telling me stuff about last issue that the story itself failed to convey.

Finally Faye Ito/Ito Faye/Asian Michelle Jones/Benny’s Manic Pixie Dream Girl stereotype collides face first mid swing into a billboard. But she’s fine. She’s not even scratched or banged up? What? Would that have made her less pretty or something? Also I guess that scene was a callback to Spider-Man 2002, but I’m not griping about that.

Let’s move on to the more significant problems with the comic book.

I’m not the first person to point this out, but I think it bears repeating, this comic book feels like a movie, and I mean that in a bad way.

The panelling feels like a fill storyboard more than a comic book, it’s not making great use of the things you can do with the medium or the space provided. You want a great example of the opposite check out the art in Absolute Carnage: Seperation Anxiety #1.

Tied in with this criticism is the idea that the Abrams (well Abrams the younger) have developed this story like a film.

I am going to slightly disagree here. I think it’s more as though they’ve designed this as a prestige TV mini-series with a Hollywood film budget. I say this because the way this issue starts and finishes feels like a Netflix episode more than the second half hour of a movie.

Part and parcel of that was the obnoxiously incremental advancement of the Cadaverous and Peter subplots. Cadaverous spewed random cryptic nonsense that existed more to remind us he existed than actually accomplish anything.

Peter’s job overseas...again, why is he not just a scientist if he’s retired altogether? He’s not even a science photographer, he’s basically a grizzled Jimmy Olsen or something. Peter became a shutterbug because it was convenient, he didn’t really want to do that long term as a career, his ambitions lay in science, a job that if anything would be far more accommodating for his disability than going to dangerous parts of the Middle East to awkwardly snap photos. It’s not even like being a scientist would preclude him from getting away from NYC or his son if that’s the idea. He could be travelling for conventions and conferences. I also don’t get why we needed as many scenes of Peter overseas as we got nor why it bothered to linger on the tragedies experienced by the people there. It wasn’t like it was a lot but it’s panel time that could be put to better use. At best it felt like a pretentious attempt at being deep, at worst it might be set up that plays into the story later. The thing is the Middle East doesn’t really make for great Spider-Man stories, nor indeed most international conflicts.

Getting into the meat of this issue...Faye...fuckign Faye.

She’s a cliché.

In fact lots of stuff in this story is cliché, it’s just that unlike last issue they aren’t cliches specifically drawing from older Spider-Man stories, they’re more general clichés.

The thing that really annoyed me with Faye and Benny’s interactions was that she was obviously being played up as a kind of remixed Black Cat/Catwoman due to her costume. Like she’s supposed to be a bad influence on him or something, exemplified by the fact that she shoots down and subverts Peter’s famous motto about responsibility. It didn’t even make sense. Having responsibility gives you power...what?????????????????????????

Benny himself continues to be bland and boring as a protagonist to follow. Like so much of this story thus far he feels like a typical film or TV protagonist having issues with their Dad and in that regard is just going through the motions. I dunno if I’d call him passive per se, but he’s not too far removed from being passive that’s for sure; but not as passive as Aunt May.

I mean blaming his Dad for abandoning being Spider-Man and his mother’s death. I practically predicted the dialogue from the moment that scene started up and whilst okay it’s never been done in Spider-Man before strictly speaking it’s so generic to countless other forms of media, including other superhero comic books, it’s just banal.

His belief that he is a freak is also questionable, specifically it brings into question the world building of this universe. Were this a world where only Spider-Man existed as a hero (more or less like the Raimi movies) then that’d be fine. Even in a world of mutants that’d also be fine, though you’d imagine mutant acceptance would’ve 10+ years removed from when Peter was active. But so far this version of the Marvel Universe feels very generalized in regards to the MCU.

It’s like the Spider-Man and MJ of this universe were generalized versions of the Raimi films iteration, jammed into a generalized version of the MCU where mutants do not exist and the 2012 Avengers are THE Avengers. But if that’s the world Benny grew up in, why would being born with powers make him jump to ‘freak’? He’s just a superhero, that’s cool in a world where there is no mutant stigma and where the Avengers are revered fallen heroes.*

My final criticism is in regards to the final sequence. It was just weird.

Benny and the civilian he was rescuing had dialogue that was far more casual than the situation demanded. Like dude, you’ve been blown up, buried alive and rescued by a bona fide superhero who’s not been seen in 10 years and now killer robots are surrounding you. Who is that chill in such a scenario? Who goes through all that and at the end basically says ‘lol classic Spidey lol’?????

The civilian also had odd dialogue where it was as though Henry was throwing shade at the premise of the book itself, about how lame an older, disabled Spider-Man with a beard and a kid would be.

But like Henry...YOU came up with that? If you think it’s lame why are you making 5 issues worth of it????????????????

My final point is that whilst the artwork is praiseworthy, it’s also far from Pichelli’s best work. It’s in fact noticeably lower quality than the work she was producing on the 2016 Miles Morales titles or even the debut of that character.

My recommendation?

Don’t read this. If you are truly curious wait for the trade to come out and then buy it as cheaply as possible?

As for me, I’m sticking this out to the end but I’m also going to be saving my money and reducing my order to just one copy and have cancelled my pre-order of the trade.

Ever since Spencer showed up I’ve made a concerted effort to support the spider titles I like and want to see more of (that’s code for the titles featuring MJ) and since last issue deceived me and this issue failed to impress, I don’t want more work like this from Marvel in the future.

*Also I’m going to be pissed if it turns out a chucklefuck like Cadaverous wound up taking out the Avengers somehow. Like really, this clown did them in?

[comicteaparty]

April 15th-April 21st, 2020 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from April 15th, 2020 to April 21st, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

If all webcomics everywhere suddenly costed money to read, how much would you be willing to pay to read them?

carcarchu

i've currently spent about 10 dollars reading paid webcomics and got about 60 chapters with that much. i'll be buying more webcomics in the future but if it's too pricy i'll be less inclined to buy

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

I buy the print volumes of my favourite webcomics, which is about £10-15 for around 100-200 pages? Depends on the comic. But I do get a book to leaf through, so dunno if that counts.

carcarchu

as an added note the app i use to buy webcomics has an interesting feature where u can purchase "food" to donate to the author directly without / in addition to buying the chapters themsevles(edited)

oh now that chalcara mentioned it i also buy the physical copies of webcomics as well and i've probably spent close to 100ish on that

also also that same app gives u daily login coins and u can also watch up to 5 video ads per day to gain extra coins which u can use to buy more chapters or donate directly to the author

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

I DID try a monthly subscription to a rather specific comic content webpage, but I don‘t like that comittment. Vastly prefer buy-once-keep-something-forever; even if it‘s just pdf.

Yeah, have bought pdf‘s of comics before because of shipping expenses.

So yeah, buy once, get something, yay! Subscription, boo.

carcarchu

i had to buy a monthly subscription thing for a webcomic once too but it was a completed comic and the app has a download button so i just downloaded all the chapters of it all at once. i could see the monthly payment being annoying if u had to keep paying it in perpetuity though

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i've paid for comics before

I'd probably pay to keep reading the comics I love

but I'd be reluctant to invest money to read a new comic i don't know is good or not

i'd need a good friend, person I follow, or well written review's recomendation first(edited)

Feather J. Fern

I will buy physical copies most of the time. I do like having the print in my hands. If it was like a site sub though, like you can put your comics on a site and everyone gets paid a share, then I wouldn't mind because you get options.

But if it is just one comic though, I would be worried,

For example, if people were paid to upload onto Webtoons, but you have to pay like 5 dollars for reading for 1 month, I wouldn't mind because I still can choose what to read

But if for example, my comic is five dollars to read monthly by itself, I don't htink people want it

Especially new readers

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah i think that I wouldnt want to have to spend money to try a comic. Im really very picky and I wouldnt want to risk basically just losing money because I dont like a comic. To continue reading the ones I like I think I'd spend money, but honestly I'd probably only do that once they're complete, too. A monthly payment/subscription for a service with many comics, though, I could see myself paying for

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Depends. I’m fine with paying it at once to read it in one go, but not necessarily per month

Also would pay if I got to see a preview first

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

As a reader, I also prefer to know what the comic is about first, before committing to pay to read it, like going in blind. I prefer the subscription option to read any comic but not per comic chapter. I like to support the authors if the story appeals to me or purchase their ebooks(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I would likely pay to keep reading the ones I'm already into. But I would be very reluctant to check out new ones if I had to pay to even check them out. The first few pages aren't enough in most cases. I also wouldn't be averse to the subscription idea, assuming the platform isn't like, catering to a genre that I'm not interested in. Physical volumes actually don't interest me in most cases. Storage is a huuuuuge issue for me.

DanitheCarutor

Depends on digital vs. physical, the amount of content and quality. Usually I prefer a physical copy since I like collecting indie comics and am willing to pay 10USD - 30USD, I'll even pay high price for hardcover collector editions if I really, really like the creator's work. Like, I actually have a section of my bookshelf dedicated to printed webcomics, which isn't very full yet but I plan on practically overcumbering it someday. Digital copies and subscriptions, I'm oddly a little more stingy about. I tend to forget about stuff like that very easily, so to save myself from wasting money I would have to be almost a mindless fanatic about the webcomic to buy it digitally or keep up with a weekly/monthly pay subscription. As far as price, if it's a subscription I can't afford a whole lot since I'll probably be trying to take on multiple comics, a digital copy I may pay around the same amount as with a physical book.

I'm not too picky about what I would buy, if it looks really good or interesting I'll maybe subscribe to give it a look through, or buy a chapter/volume if I can afford it. Worst that would happen is I didn't like it after all but supported an indie creator trying to get their work off the ground. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I actually have in fact read many pay-to-read webcomics, and my experience has been somewhere in the middle. I think the most important thing is that the webcomic in question has the first few chapters as free-to-read so that new readers can get a feel for the story, because I wouldn't pay for something I didn't know I would like. The other things is for comics to be affordable. I'm not very wealthy, so the price of a comic chapter needs to be pretty cheap for me to invest. $1 per chapter is the absolute highest limit, and the chapter has to be at least 10+ pages. I'm way more willing to spend more money on print comics because it is something physical that I can put on my shelf, and because I know printing costs can be expensive.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

No way I'd pay to read a comic without having at least the first chapter free. Even if people are recommending it to me, I still want to see it for myself first. But even then... I don't know if I would spend money on an online subscription - I'd probably wait to see what people are saying about it, save my money, and shell out a bit extra for a print edition (if that's in the cards for the comic). If a comic is free online, I feel even more like supporting it with a physical purchase. If a webcomic is locked behind a paywall... I get it, but it certainly discourages me as a reader.

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Same here really. I much prefer giving money to a Patreon or buying merch for something I love than pay to take a chance on something I might not like

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

I agree. I don't mind subscription if it's someone's work I enjoyed but I'm more inclined to buy physical copies or get my own digital pdf of the same thing tbh

Feather J. Fern

I wouldn't mind an idea of like, you get 1 page free a month (Slow I know) but you can buy the full thing now as an Ebook or something. That system would help the author get money (for people who want to support and love their comic from the slow post rate) and great for people who can't afford comic, and read them free at the library becuase they can't even afford computers at home.

I like the print comics too for libraries, gives comics more free access

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

ah imagine if we could check out print webcomics at the library now

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

there is a few libaries that are doin that

Feather J. Fern

Yes! Actually, a few librarians went to Vancaf as long as it has an ISBN it makes it easier (Well we hope there is a copy catalogue somewhere lol) And I know in the US there are a lot more librarians grabbing comics for their shelves

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

yesss which makes it super good

makes me wish I could go to my local libary but like everything else here, it's currently closed orz

Feather J. Fern

Hell, from a podcast I know there is a large interest in comics for libraries, and I know recently they are using comics to try to bring more literacy to people who don't want to read.

This might be off topic I will move it somewhere else

Eilidh (Lady Changeling)

Maybe when I get mine printed I'll go see if the local library would like a few

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

that is why I'm going to be a teacher. Get more people use comics for education lol

GuildmasterPhill

The tricky thing would be finding new comics to get into... how would you get exposed to them? And there are so many, how would you know which ones are worth whatever pricetag goes with them? It would certainly change the whole landscape of webcomics, to be sure.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

It would probably increase the demand for webcomic reviews.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

yeah

And again, the first few chapters being available as a sample would be really important.

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

Put in requests for webcomic print collections at your local library! They probably won't get bought during the lockdown, but at least your interest will be on record when the librarians get back.

Mine stocks some, although it's skewed toward really well-known ones -- Homestuck, Digger, Nimona, Cucumber Quest, Skin Horse, Penny Arcade, Gunnerkrigg Court (there's more, I just can't remember them off the top of my head).(edited)

Capitania do Azar

If I have to pay before I can know if I'll like the contents? I'd probably pass, unless there was some other big incentive for me to read it (like a friend's recommendation). Paywalls can be a big turnoff if you don't know what you're paying for, that's what I'm saying. However, if there were previews or free chapters, and then I had to pay to read the rest? I'd probably invest those €€€.

kayotics

I read Stand Still Stay Silent at the library, actually. That’s how I managed to actually get into it, I felt like it was a better experience. As for paying: I will sometimes buy a physical book of a comic I want to read but haven’t yet, just because reading on paper is easier on my eyes. So, sometimes I’ll pay money if I’m really interested in it. But it usually takes me a while to get to that point. If every webcomic went to a paid platform, I’d probably be less likely to read Webcomics.

Feather J. Fern

A thought occurred to me, if all webcomics are paid to read, how would the newbies, or highschoolers, get an audience at all if no one would buy to read their comic?

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

The under 18 creators does pose an interesting question -- are they allowed to make money at all? Would they have to get their parents to sign a thing for them?

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I believe so

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

As for small creators with no existing fans, I imagine they'd have to rely on subscription platforms where readers don't have to pay for their comic specifically.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Yeah, or just make no money like now

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

well, it would just also mean no readers because in this world, there isn't even an option to make no money in this world, the webcomic emperor has decreed that all webcomics must cost money to read, and you shall be thrown into The Pit if you make yours free

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Exactly

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

actually i guess you could kinda get around it by making your comic cost a penny

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

But yeah, you'd also not have readers and be unable to build a following

Basically the barrier to entry shifts and becomes more like traditional print publishing

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Slightly different from trad publishing since anybody CAN still post up their comic -- even if no one would read it X'D

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

TRUE

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

actually you know what it would kinda be like? steam like basically any game devs from the smallest indie devs to the massive corporations publish their PC games through steam. and to my knowledge, all games on steam cost at least some money so indie creators' only option to get eyes on their comic would be the same as indie devs getting eyes on their game. find someone popular willing to review it, and hope for some word of mouth.

Feather J. Fern

Odd take, hold a seminar or not really that but a group gathering where people pay like, 2 dollars, because money still needs to happen, so a bunch of newbie comic artists and pitch their first chapter or something

Oh wait I know what my brain was thinking

like comixlogy

If you can have like a section like "New comics starting out, you can read the whole first chapter for just 0.99" then I might scroll through and be like "You know what, I wouldn't mind some entertaiment"

I think also defintely reviews are really important with this situation

If someoene was like "This art is good, plot is good, grammar is good" I woudl be like "Yeah I would read the first three chapters"(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Steam sounds about accurate

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I definitely think that in this case, good reviews would be like gold

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Even Print comics do freebies to rustle up new audience. And steam has a pretty lenient „don‘t like this game? Get your money back“ policy.

RebelVampire

For me the answer here depends on a lot of factors. If it's a one time "bulk" purchase, I'd probably go from $5-$10 depending on amount of pages, time to read, and just overall quality. I'd of course have to be interested as well, but that's an aside point for me in terms of what I'd be willing to pay. Anything past $10 is just kind of too rich for my blood sort of thing, unless it's like a super volume or something. As a subscription, this would heavily depend on the service. How are they curating content? Do they add more content regularly? How much content do they have? How are they innovating to improve my experience as a reader and to be able to find content? How is the industry as a whole? Are there a few competitors making it an affordable option, or is it becoming like tv cable because everyone wants their slice of the pie? With this many questions, it's hard to put a price on a subscription service. Definitely no more than I pay for Hulu or Netflix. But honestly, with the state of the industry right now, I don't think the price would be justified if they made it even like $10/month. Cause as it stands none of the hosts really do anything to improve my experience as a reader and only make things harder for everyone.

Feather J. Fern

This topic makes me love webcomics more, people are giving it to us for free, and It is amazing the internet can give someone an outlet to do so. Thank you internet

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

If you can have like a section like "New comics starting out, you can read the whole first chapter for just 0.99" then I might scroll through and be like "You know what, I wouldn't mind some entertaiment"

@Feather J. Fern dang I would sign up so fast if there was a good subscription service like this. And same time it helps give something back to New creators!

Feather J. Fern

To be honest, if I had the money, and the power, and the programing skills I would. I would love to support creators like this. Becuase it also gives people confidence too.

[greensconnor]

TRR or ILB for the mc thing? (or both LOL)

i WILL do both but seriously ty all so much for these asks i had a rough day and this has calmed me down significantly shskshs

trr/trh mc: maya abernathy

how tall are they?

maya is really tall! she’s 5′11″ which is about an inch shorter than i imagine her husband to be but he’s a king so what does he have to worry about?

how do they tend to dress?

maya has always had a very classy style, even before she was queen of cordonia. she loves bright colours and floral patterns, and really adores light and breezy things. she does miss the functionality of jeans now that she’s a royal, but she makes do with some very classy pantsuits even though pixelberry are cowards and won’t give them to me.

do they like how they look?

yes! maya’s grandma always made sure that she got her self-worth from her actions and the way she treated people as opposed to how she looks, and maya is really proud of herself and doesn’t really care all that much about what other people think of her!

are they an only child or do they have any siblings?

maya’s an only child! i hate to think that her parents or family just don’t care enough to come to her wedding, so my headcanon for her is that her parents died in a car crash when she was young, and so she was cared for by her only surviving relative, her grandmother, until her death in maya’s first year of college. since she doesn’t have any living family that’s why no one was there like seriously what the fuck pixelberry

are they a morning person or night owl?

morning person! maya’s friends always joked that she had the soul of an 80 year old woman but she really does go to bed pretty early all the time and she likes to wake up to the sun! she loves sunshine and she loves hearing birds singing in the morning, which is her favourite part about being at duchy valtoria!

are they a cat person or a dog person?

maya’s a dog person! she likes cats, and she loved the last cat her grandmother had very much, but she’s always liked dogs a lot more by sheer virtue of being an outdoorsy kid who loves to be playing and getting muddy in the back yard, which was much easier to do with a dog than a cat.

got any favourite foods?

LOVES rogan josh and barbecue. anything spicy or smokey your home girl got it covered, but her favourite dessert is cheesecake!

how about favourite drinks?

maya loves traditional lemonade! she had a lemon tree in her back garden growing up, and her grandma taught her how to make lemonade from the fresh lemons. she also grew up drinking tea with her gran, but she isn’t really one for caffeine in general and much prefers hot chocolate since she has a sweet tooth.

what are their favourite movies/tv shows?

maya LOVES period dramas. laps that shit up. stans the jennifer ehle and colin firth pride and prejudice adaptation, could rewatch anna karenina time and time again and actually really liked the great gatsby movie, plus she tends to like shakespeare movies with kenneth branagh, or recordings of stage productions from the globe theatre which she has yet to visit, but as queen of cordonia she wants to see her favourite play (othello) put on there!

do they have any hidden talents?

maya is a really good singer! it’s only been busted out at karaoke, but she’s also an excellent mathematician and can do really complex equations in her head, which scares... pretty much all of her friends.

do they believe in love at first sight?

maya is a romantic at heart, and her grandma used to tell her stories about how she and her husband fell in love at first sight, so she’d like to believe it was true! it’s part of the reason that she decided to go to cordonia in the first place, because of the connection she felt with the then-prince.

who is their love interest?

,,,, hajime which is a renamed prince liam i know i’m sorry we don’t deserve rights that’s true but you don’t understand. the association with the name ‘liam’ is my gay cousin who came out after both me and his older brother came out, left to sweden and now lives in berlin djing gay leather clubs, doing drag and posting on his Very Public Facebook Page asking for recommendations for the best gay bdsm clubs in berlin so i really can’t unmarry that image and i had to change his name i just had to i couldn’t do it. anyway maya and hajime are very happy together

what are they afraid of?

maya isn’t afraid of water or the ocean, but she is afraid of sharks and jellyfish. she prefers to swim in fresh water or pools, but there was a period where she was terrified of crocodiles and alligators as well despite not living anywhere near crocodiles or alligators.

what are their guilty pleasures?

carrie underwood singalongs and those 80′s aerobics videos.... maxwell bought her a pair of legwarmers for her birthday because of it and she cherishes them

what was their dream job as a kid? is it still their dream?

maya wanted to be a vet when she was little, but when she got older she realized she was too squeamish for it ahskshs. it’s not really her dream anymore, but she’s happy with where she is in life!

have they ever broken a bone?

no, she was a very careful child!

have they ever been in trouble with the law?

not really no! she’s been involved in a few marches/protests that met skirmishes with law enforcement, but she’s never been arrested or charged with anything, except for like. the trouble in cordonia i guess.

+ three other random facts about them! 

it is my greatest heacanon that maya used the money she inherited from her grandma to get through college with a degree in communications, and before she was waitress-ing she’d been working pretty long-term for a business in PR but her boss was paying her unfair wages and refused to negotiate so she just quit and was looking for another job, so having justin/anton assigned as her PR ‘team’ was a grievous insult to her ahskshs. another fact is before the royal heir i already decided that maya and hajime have three kids: hollis (after maya’s dad), charlainne “charlie” (after her mum) and oliver, in that order, and the third fact is that her favourite colour is green!

ilb mc: leon vance

how tall are they?

leon is 6′5″ which makes him the tallest of the ilb gang, even taller than parker who is still so in awe that someone managed to be bigger than him

how do they tend to dress?

leon is a frat boy jock with the countenance of a golden retriever. he has an extensive snapback collection, but for the most part his outfit is pretty easy just jeans, t-shirts, sneakers, lots of hoodies, some shorts and those big low-cut singlets etc etc

do they like how they look?

yeah lmao... the one downside is that sometimes people think he’s straight which he’s not about but like. self-confidence is sexy and i don’t fear god so none of my ocs do too. if someone talks shit about him leon will just beat them up ahskshsjsls

are they an only child or do they have any siblings?

leon has elliot ofc, and i hc that his dad re-married and has two young daughters with his second wife, but leon doesn’t know them because he and his dad have virtually no relationship at all.

are they a morning person or night owl?

night owl! leon thinks the stillness of the night is really calming and he’s pretty energetic, but he’s also an early riser. he prefers nights but he also doesn’t sleep in very often since he likes to go for a run before the sun comes up while it’s still nice and cool, plus he usually gets to watch the sun rise on the way back!

are they a cat person or a dog person?

dog.... big, big fluffy dogs. it’s not really surprising when he’s basically just three golden retrievers and one kinda angry chihuahua in a human-shaped trenchcoat but tom gets a lot of no-context pictures of dogs all hours of the night.

got any favourite foods?

leon loves cajun wedges. he thinks there’s an art to making them and he’ll stand by that, but he’s also a bit of a pizza snob and he splurges on wood-fired pizza for him and elliot on uber eats nights whenever he can, although he can’t really do that in pine springs.

how about favourite drinks?

leon vance is the MASTER of keg stands and he’s learned to love shitty bears, but he tends to like dark lagers the best, and besides that he’s a big fan of peach drinks from the chinese grocer down the road from his apartment near campus.

what are their favourite movies/tv shows?

leon loooooves animated movies and elliot is a bit old for him to use as an excuse to go see them, but his favourites are mulan, brave and the quest for camelot which is pretty obscure but garrett was his first love... in terms of tv shows he really likes comedies and watches a lot of comedy specials on netflix too but he’ll also watch pretty much anything with steven yeun in it because he has.... a crush

do they have any hidden talents?

not many people get it initially but leon can actually draw really well! most people think he’s just kind of a meatheaded jock, but his degree is in software engineering and he wants to get into making video games, which is something he decided to do because he loved playing games so much with elliot and he wanted to make something for his brother! he cleans up on rhythm games, and he also plays the piano and the guitar and can sing! he’s very talented!

do they believe in love at first sight?

not really? he wants to believe in romantic things like that, and he definitely believes in attraction at first sight, but he’s a little cynical about the idea of being able to love somebody just from a glance.

who is their love interest?

tom! he & tom are really happy together and one of their favourite things to do is make pancakes on sunday mornings for elliot, and then tom will read his book while sitting on leon’s back while he does pushups. domestic co-existence ahskshs.

what are they afraid of?

leon has always been too bold for his own good, but he’s really not a fan of thunder or lightning and he gets really freaked out during storms.

what are their guilty pleasures?

loves playing roblox with the lads, also he was a gay kid growing up in the 2000′s, a bitch read homestuck and warrior cats and given the opportunity he WILL conduct full-scale discourses about it. yes this is me projecting. no i do not have the decency to be ashamed about it anyway stan vriska

what was their dream job as a kid? is it still their dream? 

initially, leon wanted to be an astronaut, but only so he could meet aliens. as he grew up he realized he didn’t really want to get involved in that field, especially since with his sports career he kind of looked like he had a set path anyway.

have they ever broken a bone?

he’s broken his nose a couple of times and his toe twice, but other than that he’s been very careful because he kind of needs his bones in order to like... do sport.... which is what his scholarship is for.

have they ever been in trouble with the law?

his frat has had noise control turn up a couple of times and once he got picked up for speeding home with medication for elliot’s cough because he was worried but other than that he’s squeaky clean aside from antagonizing chief kelly in pine springs ahsklshsjsh

+ three other random facts about them!

he’s quarterback on his university’s team and looking at prospects of an nfl draft, but he’s also a competitive swimmer and has competed in the junior olympics where he has a silver and a gold medal individually and a gold team medal. second fact is that he’d most like to travel to australia because he likes the accents, and the third is that his favourite animals are bears so he felt personally attacked by the bear lake monster attacking him and his friends

ask me about my choices mcs!

[anythingstephenking]

Time Traveling Swing Dancers/Teachers/Assassins

Welp, I did it y’all. I made it full circle to the book that started it all, 11/22/63. I read this brick of a book back in 2016, which lead me to The Stand, which led me to a journey towards 73 novels. Bless your heart, 11/22/63.

I just love this book. My first read through back in the day took me only a couple days; my second trip back in time took me almost a week, still a feat for the 800+ pages of book. Let’s go.

Another tale, like Under The Dome, that ruminated in King’s mind since the 70’s but came to fruition in the 21st century. Although the idea kicked around in King’s head for decades, he was daunted by the research that would be required to tell the story properly, so I think he waited until he was swimming in that sweet sweet money to hire a research team. Per usual, I am speculating.

But King did have a research assistant on this book, that much is true. He also consulted with the likes of Doris Kearns Goodwin, a treasure of American history, who gave King some real fun ideas about what might have happened if JFK had lived. The research was obviously thorough, and like it or not, you sure learn a lot about real-life Lee Harvey Oswald in this work of fiction. You’ll also squiggle in your seat through reminders of racism and hate that lived out loud in the 60s, different but also the same as we see today. History doesn’t change everything.

King has said that the extensive research and reading he did to prepare to write this story confirmed in his mind that Oswald acted alone. While it’s fun to imagine conspiracy theories of magic bullets and a second shooter, if King believes, I’m inclined to believe. If QAnon has taught us anything, it’s that Americans love a conspiracy theory. If Jack Ruby hadn’t shot Oswald in that parking garage, we may have learned what actually happened on November 22, 1963. If Oswald had gone to trial and had been placed under oath. If his last words weren’t about how he was a patsy. If, if if. Maybe Jake should have stopped worrying about stopping Oswald and stopped Ruby instead.

So, yeah, Jake Epping. Our hero of this tale. He’s a writer that teaches and lives in Maine. I mean, if I had a dollar for every time I started a book summary with that sentence, I’d have like $10 bucks and I probably go buy myself a fancy coffee of something.

Jake’s a teacher and loves hamburgers! Who doesn’t. He get’s them cheap at his favorite diner, from the proprietor named Al Templeton, who harbors a pretty rad secret that he’s gunna toss onto Jake. Now, why Jake? I mean, I don’t really know. Al doesn’t have any family and Jake is young and unattached? I suppose at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter, because Jake, like Frodo Baggins before him, is off on an adventure.

Because Al’s diner is actually a portal back in time. We all suspend some disbelief - it’s some version of a thinny (maybe?) that plops you from present day back to 1958. The rules are this: however long you spend in the past, you can return to the future just 2 minutes after you left. Al says there’s no impact on quick trips - Al’s been going back and forth for years buy ground beef for his cheap burgers - but when you do something that might change the future, the past will push back. We learn that Al is very, very wrong, but more on that later.

Al’s set out to save John Fitzgerald Kennedy from his head exploding, but the past gave him lung cancer and he didn’t make it to ’63. He’s back in the present and ready to tag Jake into the ring to get back to the fight for him. Jake hesitates but not NEARLY enough. Seriously, if some stranger told you had to go back in time, follow around a total assmunch for 5 years and live WITHOUT CELL PHONES OR NETFLIX?? I don’t care how delicious the root beer in 1958 is. Fuck that.

Jake goes. A couple times actually. He’s first interested in saving Harry, the high school janitor’s family from being murdered, which is a real noble cause. The past gives him diarrhea, and he wears a diaper to take out the bad man. He fails the first time (diarrhea), heads back home to “reset”, and back to 1958, succeeding the second time around. Sayonara douche.

We cross paths with Beverly and Beep Beep Ritchie in Derry, where Jake spends a fair amount of time in 1960. The town is dark, creepy and troubled, and Jake hates being there. Little interconnected web of the King-o-Verse is always there, and I love every second of it. 

Jake heads to Dallas to wait on Oswald, realizes he hates it (lol, fuck Dallas-Fort Worth), and moves out to the country instead. He gets a nice little job and meets a librarian, and our heroine, Sadie. Sadie’s got some real baggage in the form of a psychotic ex-husband (men are mostly the worst in this book) but her and Jakie fall in love anyways. She’s a well written, strong female lead and I haven’t loved a female King character this much since Lisey.

General consensus is that the mid-section of this book is that it drags a little bit, but I couldn’t disagree more. Sure, does Jake putting on a big theater production have literally anything to do with Lee Harvey Oswald? Nope. But I loved all Jake’s time in Jodie, Texas. He falls in love with Sadie, they are lovely and happy, and albeit doomed because of time travel, it’s a wonderful distraction from all the heaviness.

That said, PLEASE Stephen King, DON’T WRITE SEX SCENES LIKE THIS. ::Monkey with hands over eyes emoji:: The sex stuff is awful. There’s a lot of broad references to Jake and Sadie’s love life, like “She looked. Then she touched.” Gross.

Exhibit B:

She said, "Don't make me wait, I've had enough of that," and so I kissed the sweaty hollow of her temple and moved my hips forward ... She gasped, retreated a little, then raised her hips to meet me. "Sadie? All right?"

"Ohmygodyes," she said and I laughed. She opened her eyes and looked up at me with curiosity and hopefulness. "Is it over, or is there more?"

"A little more," I said. "I don't know how much. I haven't been with a woman in a long time."

It turned out there was quite a bit more … At the end she began to gasp. "Oh dear, oh my dear, oh my dear dear God, oh sugar!"

Guys, this passage was from Sadie’s FIRST TIME. She comes? And Jake notices there is blood on the sheets afterwards. But she orgasmed. Yeah ok, sure.

Other than poorly written Harlequin romance passages, the rest of the story clips along with lots of fun (and not so fun) bits, leading the the culmination of Jake (spoilers) killing Oswald. Sadie dies in the process and it is heart wrenching. But at least the world got saved?

WRONG. Another gripe is this; Jake goes back to 2007 and it’s a fucking post apocalyptic wasteland. Nuclear war has ruined the globe - Jake somehow crosses paths with Harry the janitor, who gives him a 5 minute synopsis of how everything went to hell. It is TOO SHORT. Why do we spend so little time here? I want more dystopian future.

We also get a brief bit about how each trip back isn’t a real “reset” - each one triggers a new “string” or parallel universe. Al’s diner isn’t the only passage, and anyone that has read the Dark Tower books gets it. Al was dumb and Jake was dumb, and at the end of the day Jake resets the past and saves this new string from nuclear fallout but you know those poor souls that were on that timeline are still fucked?

Anywho, the end is lovely and King changed what he originally planned (which was lame) at his son’s suggestion. Good job Joe Hill. Maybe I’ll read some of his books someday.

So that’s 11/22/63. This is the latest in King’s bibliography that I have already read, so I’m headed into the last 20 or so novels without any spoilers at all. I still haven’t even let myself watch The Outsider on HBO yet.

Speaking of adaptations, Lisey’s Story on Apple+ starts airing on Friday. Will be watching and hope that it is better than The Stand.

9/10

First Line: I had never been what you would call a crying man.

Last Line: Then the music takes us, the music rolls away the years, and we dance.

Adaptations:

A Hulu miniseries! They did 2 seasons of Castle Rock, so they’re a-ok in my book. Anything not produced by ABC is a-ok with me. I watched it when it aired and it was pretty decent IIRC. I’ve started rewatching, but only made it through the first episode so far. It’s a hard rewatch knowing what a creep James Franco is. And his fake goatee in the first 30 minutes is the actual worst.

The show takes its own liberties with the plot which is fine; Jake gets a partner in crime named Bill; without Bill we’d have a lot of internal Franco monologue I’d guess. The show is well cast and well acted, and has an 8.2 on IMDB, so it’s doing a lot better than most King projects.

James Franco channeling his inner Annie Wilkes.

[ask-svt-hearteu]

doctor! Wonwoo

Anon requested: “If you doing Requests can I have Wonwoo as a doctor? And y/n as a nurse there ❤️”

Genre: fluff

Word Count: 1189

tbh I see Wonwoo as a neurosurgeon

and can you imagine Wonwoo during medical school?

he’ll probs be studying in the library very often

to the point they have to tell him to leave sometimes lmao

always carries a book bag everywhere

and surprise surprise

always has a book to his face

cutie with his messy morning hair going to the cafe to get coffee

with his morning voice

and him in glasses!

you knew who Wonwoo was but you weren’t friends with him

but since you were a nursing student

you had a few classes with him sometimes

and wow he’s such a smartass

always answers all the questions right

and you’re just here like

???! Excuse me

nobody was surprised by the fact he graduated early

and sports science major Seungcheol was just like

“you���re younger than me stop”

 let’s get into doctor Wonwoo

 he got a new position at this hospital

 for their neurological expert

 and despite his cold looks

 he’s so caring towards his patients :’)

 also has a mini library in his office

 and when he’s not tending patients

 he’s reading books in his office

or playing with the kids awee

there’s this one grandma with a brain tumour

 that sees Wonwoo very often

 and she’s told him how her kids are all grown and too busy

 which makes him sad even though he doesn’t tell her

 but the grandma treats Wonwoo as if he’s her own grandson

and Wonwoo lends books from his library to her <3

you had just been transferred to a new hospital

and you were excited but at the same time scared

because you didn’t know anyone

but ended befriending a lot of the patients

like this one really nice old lady

 who always seems to have a book on her

 but you noticed she likes to dog ear the pages to bookmark them

 which annoys you a bit cause of your inner book worm

so you decided to make a bookmark for her <3

with her name and everything plus some other cute things

and your name at the bottom

the grandmas always tells you about this one cute doctor in her section

“I’m telling you, he’s such a cutie!!”

and when the grandma returns the book to Wonwoo

she forgets (deliberately) to take out the bookmark

so when Wonwoo opened the book he had noticed the bookmark

and how the pages weren’t folded on the top anymore

tbh the dog ears did bother him a bit but he didn’t have the heart to say anything to her

he decides to visit the grandma in her room

and you were in there sitting next to her and talking to each other before your next shift starts

“halmeonim! You left your bookmark”

and when Wonwoo notices you, he’s like

“Weren’t you from the same medical school as me?”

you’re just here like?? Jeon Wonwoo knows I exist¿

you couldn’t recognise him at first

because he wasn’t wearing his iconic glasses anymore :(

grandma was happily in her own world tho

because she’s happy her ship is starting to sail off lol

“you two kids will be so cute together!”

 from then on,

 you and Wonwoo were around each other pretty often

 and got to know each other despite being in the same school for years

 and he’s actually a pretty cool guy

 such a sweetheart too

 all the other nurses have crushes on him as well

which is honestly not a surprise

Also, Wonwoo’s mini library became yours as well

sometimes you both just sit and read together

in comfortable silence

 because somehow you two had gotten that close

 which makes you strike up a question

 “hey why don’t you wear your glasses anymore?”

 “idk I just don’t think they look good on me, I use contacts now”

 “lies, your glasses looked hella good on you”

 and the next day he comes in,

and he’s wearing his glasses!!

finally!!

you two banter a lot

with the occasional friendly flirting lmao

“hey Wonwoo”

“yeah?”

“Are you my appendix? Because I have a gut feeling I should take you out ;)”

“sure, you free on Saturday?”

and your just like wait what,,,

you meant it as a joke

but he took it seriously

but who would turn down a date with Wonwoo lmao

he picks you up and brings you to this museum

what an intellectual cutie awe

and you both just had fun wondering around the museum

learning new facts and just some more general knowledge

and reminiscing about the old school days

“I’m not sure if you were in my class, but do you remember when Seungcheol passed out?”

“Oh!! When we had to cut up the human body right?”

you never realised how great of a human being Wonwoo is

he’s so interesting and there’s so much more to him than what you expected

after finishing the museum date

you both spontaneously decided to go to an art gallery

and when you both arrived,

the art just awed both of y'all

but Wonwoo couldn’t really concentrate that much

because while you were admiring the art hung on the walls

he admired the artwork that was in front of him

which is you!!

because he thinks you’re the actual masterpiece :’)

and when you turned around to look at him

he thinks you’ve noticed him staring at you

and he just blushes up!

and just couldn’t get rid of this goofy grin on his face!!

and then he just asked you to be his girlfriend there and then

followed by taking a lot of cute couple pictures together

because you guys are gonna be that couple on instagram lmao

almost everyone in the hospital knows about your relationship with each other now

and jokes about how your relationship is a typical soap drama on tv lmao

but if anyone says anything bad about your relationship

grandma is ready to fight them

because she credits herself as why the two of you started dating lmao

your birthday was coming up

and Wonwoo wasn’t exactly sure what to get you

ends up going for a homemade gift

instead of something more materialistic

ends up making a book with all the moments you guys shared together!!

and when he gifts the book to you

you were speechless

you just couldn’t think of anything to say

even though you were ecstatic

“you don’t like it?”

“wHAT? No Wonwoo!! I love it so much!! I just can’t express myself well right now”

you were surprised by how much effort was put into it

with all the pictures of you two together and little captions written by him

followed by some pages with titles like

‘5 things I like about you’

‘I greatly appreciate you"

‘why I don’t deserve you’

and you just try to convince him that he was worth so much more than he thinks!

which really helps him and tbh he’s really thankful for your constant reassurance :’)))

“honestly, I didn’t think I could fill up this entire book. But I guess we were too occupied with having fun we didn’t realise we were making these amazing memories”

MASTERLIST

[bsinoranges]

In which it gets sappy

Tagged by the amazing @lethesomething!!

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

So uh. BS is actually short for bittersweet, but now it doubles as my in-joke for BS in whateverCourse -- hence the in. So BS in oranges.

Then it’s bittersweetoranges because i read this fic called bittersweet and it was damn good to me at the time. Also my favorite fruit is orange.

...I’m bot good at giving names nor titles. Haha.

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).

Hm. Overall, that would be my KuroYachi one-shot The Lights in the Sky are Stars. It was sort of my love letter to the KuroYachi ship, and so I’m not entirely sure if I’ll be able to add on to it.

For subscriptions that would be my still unfinished brofest piece, The Thief, the Witch, and the Fae. This one is my bid at making an interesting take on certain characters and dynamics in a dark fantasy setting. Futakuchi is the lead if only because @haruhi02 accidentally gave me his name when I asked for random characters.

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

A freezing link from Breath of the Wild. Well, why not? Haha. I love Link, I love Breath of the Wild, and when I resurfaced back on tumblr botw recently came out and also the free icons.

(the rest is under a cut because it’s long and sappy)

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

Well. I won’t name favorites. Frequent commenters tho... they’d be my friends from chat, so shoutout to @lethesomething and @haruhi02 because you guys are great.

To be fair, I don’t think I post frequently enough for people to keep their eyes peeled for me.

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

Boy, do I. Basically anything in my bookmarks are the things I regularly return to read. Quite notable, however is anything by bigspoonnoya. God. I love her work. From the HQ to the BNHA to the YOI.

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

I bookmark more than I subscribed. Buuuuuuuuut I’m subscribed to a grand total of 4 works, and I’ve bookmarked 62 fics.

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

Fantasy. Hands down. There’s three-ish urban ones, then there’s two full-on fantasy pieces. The rest are slice-of-life.

There’s just something about fantasy that makes me really happy. It might be the freedom to make, or that I like using fantasy as a substitute for when I want to comment on current events. But usually I like writing things that are fantastical.

Someday I want to make write a slice-of-life that makes the mundane fantastical, and then vice versa. If only because it’s the little things that steal my heart and imagination every single time.

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

Four wonderful people are subscribed to me, while 12 are subscribed to my stories. For bookmarks, I have a total of 24. ^^

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

Many of my topic matter don’t really make much, if any, waves -- at least that’s what I think. I’m only afraid I can’t do justice to my dark/fantasy elements, because that would be a real shame.

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

First it’s definitely finishing what I start. My multichaps aren’t incredibly long, but I worry a lot about continuation and future chapters that it spoils writing the present one, so I hope to work on that.

Next is my exposition and narration. I can only say “Name smiles.” so much before I think I write in a horribly stale matter.

... Does writing romance or any sort of sexual or romantic contact count? Cause, boy do I need practice.

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

Is YamaYachi popular? KuroYachi? I’m pretty sure they’re an okay and accepted ship. But in any case the rarest pair I’ve written is KuroYachi, and then KamaFuta. Because those pairs need more content, and I’m pretty willing to fill them.

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

I have 9 works in total. Five of which are completed oneshot, and the other four are unfinished multichaps. See the trend yet?

One of the finished oneshots is the longshot Nowhere in the Sea. It’s the first fic I finished in my whole 17 (at the time) years of living.

Of my unfinished things, one of them is an anthology (that I should probably close since I’m not planning on updating anytime soon) and then the three fantasy pieces that has a lot Worldbuilding™.

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

H A H A.

Hm. So, I switch between Google Docs, Sublime Text 3, and OneNote. But there’s a whooping 17 unwritten stories in various states of disrepair.

I’m most excited for the YamaYachi one, and also the sprawling ensemble cast one. :D

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

I mostly keep them in my head. So they flit in and out of my memory like deadlines. On the rare occasion that I’m possessed by the idea, I’l have written the idea down and then some on anything I find convenient at the time (laptop, phone, or paper.)

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

Yes. @haruhi02 was my partner for the hq fantasy fest thing. She was with me when I finished my first ever fic Nowhere in the Sea.

16. How did you discover AO3?

I was friends with this author back in FF.Net, and she had an AO3 account. Then, I branched off her fics to read the FE:A fics.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

LOL. Of course not. I can say, with confidence, that I am probably obscure.

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

Hm...

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

Fun fact, the first fan fic I wrote was an unfinished novelization of the Swan Princess (Nest Family Entertainment), and then an illustrated re-telling of Barbie’s Princess and the Nutracker. I started seriously pursuing writing around... the grade 5, when my bully of an English teacher said I had a talent for writing. If I had any it remains to be seen. But it was my friends back on FFnet. The likes of Mafi, and Tune, and Loke. They were there for me during my baby days writing for a fandom. We weren’t in the same fandom, but they inspired me so much.

Also I really like Philip Pullman and J.K. Rowling and thought it would be awesome to publish and write books.

Today though, it’s my friends in the chat who continue to inspire me everyday.

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

I don’t think I’m qualified. But if I should, it’d be to stay strong and welcome to addictive cycle of happiness and misery. Because there’s nothing like writing that one perfect scene -- it’s worth all the stress and the struggle.

Also. Writing is like wine, it get’s better with age, but it doesn’t mean that you like wine.

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

I plot a lot. Like a lot. But I throw out a lot through the window when push comes to shove. Sometimes I’ll outwrite what I’ve planned or plan something new and then I’ll get flung into a crisis. Haha. Fun.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

The worst comment I’ve had is spam on Nowhere in the Sea. I just wish I had more comments. #NoShame.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

Smut. A bit of action, but action is easier than doing the sexy.

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

I’m focusing all my energy on Amor Fati, which is my gift for the fantasy exchange. I need to finish that because it’d be sad if I didn’t. And, most importantly, I want to make my giftee proud.

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

The plan is to keep up with my plans. I have no shortage of plans. Hahaha. But I do plan on finishing up Amor Fati then finishing either Scales or The Thief, the Witch, and the Fae before moving on to other projects.

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

Nope. It would probably be better if I did, but acads just eats a lot of my time.

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

I think it’s arrogant to think that I did, but I guess I did. I was 13ish -- two years after fifth grade -- when I took writing more seriously... And looking back my writing style changed. ^^

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

I love all my stories for different reasons. To be honest tho, it’s what I haven’t written and am yet to write. I love The Thief, the Witch, and the Fae for it’s dark and heavy atmosphere. Scales for its hesitance and its secrecy. Amor Fati for the melancholy and for its world. Nowhere in the Sea for being my first in a lot of things (but also it’s magic system and world gdi). Lights in the Sky are Stars for it’s sweet fluff. Class Pizza for its tomfoolery. So on and so forth.

As much as I have a hard time looking at my writing, I won’t deny that I love them for the things that they are and could be.

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

... Probably my anthology? It reminds me of bad memories.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

Here, still suffering but instead out of school (hopefully) and knee deep in some sort of job.

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

The planning and the talking and the crying and the reading.

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

The writing. Or maybe that point between the first scene and the third. Something like that.

33. Why do you write?

Why don’t I? Writing is me. I’ve did things for the sake of reference, I’ve devoted a lot of myself to writing and the idea of writing. I love it. It’s an amazing way to express.

I wouldn’t give it up for the world.

Sooo. For tagging. @spacegaykj and @astersandstuffs and @slothesaurus if you guys don’t mind ^^. Feel free to ignore if you want. Thank you for the time.

Also double tagging @haruhi02 because I can.

[not-poignant]

So I got a private ask recently basically wanting to know how I got to be so ‘successful’ as a writer, and it’s had me thinking a lot about what success is (and how that’s not a static variable) and how rarely creative folks talk about their failures, if they’re not public. Like if you’re livestreaming your failures, that’s one thing, and I’m sure all of you have caught typos or other things - tiny failures that just annoy or are largely invisible or are like ‘oh u miss that.’ But otherwise we tend not to say ‘oh ha this story got rejected again’ or ‘this publisher actually hates my work.’

My metrics for success have changed as I’ve attained them, and I think I’ll make a separate post about that. To be clear, the first time at age 11 I filled an entire page with Courier text from a dodgy old printer in like 1992, I felt like a huge writerly success. Later, my metric for success was ‘the first comment I ever got on an LJ fanfic.’ Later still, my metric for success changed again. So you know. Shifting metrics. Stagnating measures for ‘success’ for me mean...well, stagnation.

But I wanted to sort of document what I perceive to be my many writing failures, because I’m so grateful for them, and because I’m only here today, considered maybe successful by some of you, because of them.

***

I wanted to go chronologically but like I know my life that well. So here’s just a sampling.

* Sent a standalone novel I was (and am still) really proud of to a local but prestigious publisher about 7 years ago. Got a form rejection letter.

* Sent another standalone novel I was (and am still) moderately proud of to a large-scale m/m publisher. Got extremely favourable feedback from the editor (i.e. of the ‘we will publish this if you make these changes we’re all rooting for you’ type), a list of minor changes to make to the story, made all the changes without complaint, and then didn’t hear back from them for 8 months, at which point they aggressively terminated interest in a fairly crushing manner. (Later discovered I was pretty fortunate to have this happen because of the...climate of that publishing house, but it was still pretty fucking crushing.)

* Have had more short stories rejected for anthologies than accepted. Usually while good friends whose stories I edited got accepted (which is its own kind of depressing lol).

* My worst university class was short-film writing. I am objectively terrible at it. While I never failed the class, it’s safe to say that I am not compatible with short format. I imagine everyone here is not at all surprised. (Weirdly though, I do well with short poems lol).

* My first published fanfiction under a different username got a lot of ‘YOU ARE WRITING A MARY SUE’ type messages. :D Back in the days where snarkily reading bad fanfiction was a thing, and writing a Mary Sue was like...sinning against the world of fanfiction.

* I genuinely thought the first fantasy story I ever wrote was a masterpiece. It was not. I was 14 when I started it. It did however give me the backbones for the characters Augus, and several others. I never finished it.

* I have had one story I’ve desperately wanted to write since I was a child. It failed in its first novel incarnation. It failed in its second novel incarnation. It failed its third graphic novel incarnation (yes, I have attempted a graphic novel! Be grateful your eyes have never had to lay upon it). It failed its ‘short story introductions to the complex world‘ incarnations (a good friend and my primary editor said: ‘too infodumpy.’) It failed its fourth novel incarnation after two years of research.

Currently awaiting a fifth attempt, lol.

* I have, without failure, failed a ‘write every day’ challenge if it’s lasted longer than about three weeks.

* I failed my first two NaNoWriMos.

* Wrote a whole lot of poetry I really adored for a very high level seminar with a poet I respected and admired and desperately wanted them to like my work lol and my first bout of feedback was: ‘80% of this is boring and unreadable. Trash it.’ (The rest was very nice, but given it set me back about 2 months in my development of the project, it hit...rather hard). This poet also gave me one of the most crushing but valuable pieces of advice I’ve ever gotten: ‘You’re not as good as you think you are.’

(Later, on a poem I didn’t like, they left a flippant remark: ‘this is better than you think it is. 10/10′)

* Wrote a YA novel about animal shifters, got about 100k through when I realised it was boring and unreadable. Shelved it.

* Wrote an adult paranormal erotica novel about vampires and shifters (oh how original) and got about 80k through it before I realised it was boring and profoundly inconsistent in tone (a problem I still have, but care less about). Shelved it.

* My ‘shelved novels’ folder has thirty different projects in it. This is not bunnies. This is not ‘ideas. This is ‘novels I’ve researched, written over 20k for and given up on.’ Amount of novels published? Currently zero. Currently a total failure of a novel writer, even if I think of myself as a novelist. More accurately, I am a patreon-supported serial fiction writer. Except the Patreon has been shut down for two years. (Hi, fear of success, thanks for making me think I don’t deserve any income for anything ever).

* My ‘shelved short stories’ folder has over eighty different projects in it. Given I’ve only ever published 4-5 short stories, and had more rejected, this is a terrible ‘failure to success’ rate.

* Don’t get me started on shelved poems, shelved scripts, etc.

***

There were times when varying things in this list made me want to give up writing or actually - temporarily - give up writing. There were times when different things in this list made me convinced I was the Worst Writer Ever, and when I look at The Ice Plague and measure my fears and insecurities against it, I know it’s not without considering that I have failed in the past. Huge projects. HUGE. Statistically, one day I’m going to write a serial and have to stop and go ‘you know what, it’s just not working.’ I have measured my self-worth and my validity and worthiness as a human being against my writing (and art) and then used those failures as tools to destroy myself.

And yet, after those periods of destruction, I have become grateful for the failures. (I’m not even including my art failures here, which is also a lengthy process of having my portfolio rejected for gallery submission repeatedly). Some of them have shaped me or pushed me in a direction that’s more fulfilling. Sometimes I’ve learned to ignore certain types of failure. No shame in shelving a book, I’ll just write a new one, and in that sense, I also can consider myself successful at getting words on a page.

Some things still hurt to think about. And I’m not going to say that I’m really resilient or whatever, because it was failing repeatedly in art that had me quit as a professional artist. Temporarily anyway. At least for 6 years lol.

I suppose the point is that everyone fails. Usually in a more grand way than you’re actually seeing on the surface. Yes, I have hit many success metrics over the years - from writing that first page as a child (that felt as good as winning a short story competition, better even) - but I’ve hit a lot of failure metrics too. More than I’ve listed here.

I kind of like that I have hit so many. It helps me consider whether the audience that hears me is the one that will be the most nourishing. Whether my words are reaching the right people. Whether this journey is towards the polestar, or if I lost my way again, distracted by shiny things as I so often am.

[briteboy]

stealing @bratsims format because i need a less ugly way to mass answer your messages which will hopefully motivate me to stay on top of this! at least i can say i tried

so if you sent me an anon message in the past...idk MONTH (i’m bad i know) it might be here. (older ones are near the bottom) if not, check my faq because it’s probably answered there. (and if you’re the person/people who sent the twin flame & 7th house asks, i plan to answer those separately because i have a LOT to say. get ready)

game of thrones, nuclear war, real life santis, lou theories, i’m evil, HERE WE GO!! i literally had to cut it off at the last one because it was just too much for now. i’ll try to answer some more later ok

we’re starting off on a great note

Anonymous said: gaddamn rooney's tiddies lookin' hella ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

STOP!!!!!!!!!!! THAT’S MY CHILD soaidfnjds she’s supposed to have like b/c cups (goals for me tbh, the big boob life is not fun) and sims 4 pregnancies just fuckin make them...NYOOM i’m mad you can’t edit sims’ bodies during pregnancy even with cas.fulleditmode on -___- so i let her live with her giant preggo tiddies for now

Ngl I want a kiss between Santi and Gianni (I'm sorry I'm literally trash)

then i’m here to satisfy your desires: they do kiss periodically because gianni is one of those people who’s like “why shouldn’t you kiss your friends?” free love 4 everyone

IM SCREAING AT UR YOUTUBE CHANNEL OK!!!! I LOVEEE IT, WOW

DON’T IT’S UGLY EXCEPT FOR LIKE TWO VIDEOS

hey this is kinda random but i thought joe seaward from glass animals looked kinda like santi? he has quite a weird face too lmao

oMG i actually love that, i know what you mean. that dude reminds me of a bull terrier lmao i actually saw glass animals like two weeks ago!! i didn’t really get a good look at the drummer but now i wish i did. missed connection

i just finished reading santi's story and ugh it almost had me in tears! beautiful, your story telling skills and editing skills are perfection!

ahhhhsdkgkds thank you so much ;____; that means the world to me <333

Unpopular opinion: im so done with game of thrones tbh. It's not even good anymore :/ I liked the first season but since then i've skipped through episodes because they are just sooo fucking boring and dragged out!

see like the first three seasons were pretty good because they stayed true to the books. (actually that’s a lie, littlefinger’s chaos speech in the s3 finale was real fuckin bad because guess what: it was original material LMAO) the fourth season was where it started to get messy and then the fifth season was a fucking shitshow because they completely IGNORED the fourth book and cherrypicked all the “good” parts out of it (read: the most action-y parts, while ignoring all the most important pieces of character development) and they botched the dorne storyline, oh and who could forget the iconic moment of throwing in a rape (THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN IN THE BOOKS) just for fun :) love it! but anyway if you think the show is boring i probably wouldn’t recommend the books, they’re even slower getting through them lmao. but it’s worth it in my opinion. there’s so much they don’t include in the show and it makes me Angery

Okay, game of thrones fan here, I haven't read the books (yet at least, I bought book 1) but I feel like dany is going to practically turn into her father, this season she is already showing traits like his.......

OH YEAH i definitely feel like they’re moving in that direction in the process of revealing jon as the “true” king of westeros and it’s so bad lmfao. the thing is, like...cersei is already mad king 2.0? why do we need another one?????? the entire point of dany’s arc is that she’s constantly trying to deviate AWAY from the way her father ruled, demonstrated by the fact that she freed the slaves (whereas all the targaryens before were slave owners), the fact that she’s not perpetuating the whole incest thing (LMAO GUESS AGAIN BECAUSE JONERYS HAS TO HAPPEN FOR SOME FCKING REASON), the fact that she has dragons which haven’t existed in how many years...like, if she ever ends up being like her father in the books, it’s NOT gonna fucking happen like this. but i don’t think she will anyway, george rr martin has been pretty clear about her trajectory thus far. anyway this show is so ugly, next question

rooney's eye are so BIG

just like her tiddies lmao i kno sometimes i forget how big they are and then she does one of those silly endearing animations and i’m like o ;-; hello big dumb baby cow eyes

Cows? Are you secretly Matthew Daddario?

WHO i had to google him lmao i was about to say “oh the teen wolf guy” but jk @ myself u idiot it’s shadowhunters damn i literally googled “matthew daddario cows” and

tru

I love how fragile Lou looks like but the truth is that she is strong af and you can't play with her bruh

SHE IS ;-; and that’s a huge theme in her story, i’m excited <3

ima leave ur blog and come bk and spam you so you will finally notice me

im part of this online forum of girls that talks about our period and weather or not one of us might be pregnant and once this girl posted saying that her husband invited his mom without telling her to thier honeymoon and she didnt find out until they arrived at the hotel and she was already there. the most recent part reminded me of it. but long story short, her dad moved all her stuff out of his house and her friend came to pick her up and they got a divorce.

OISOJDFAKNLJSD WHAT!!! i’m guessing you sent this because of that thing i said about the reddit post lmfaooo imagine your mom on your honeymoon. why. that’s soooooooooo good 4 her u know. u don’t need to be married to his mom as well

thanks 4 trusting my love santi. he's beautiful

thank u he thinks ur beautiful too 💘

do you have any tips for runing game in good quality and fast?

euhhhhh the only tips i have for you are to merge your cc, close all other programs while you play your game, maybe invest in a cooling pad uhhhhhh yeah idk any other tips you can probably find on google

You told that thing about unfollowing people and I thought you unfollowed me, but then I checked and you didn't and I'm crying omg

lmao omg ;-; i literally cut my following list in half, it was so chaotic and it was making me anxious. so if ever unfollow any of you please don’t take it personally (i know it’s a stupid thing to say, and it’s a lot easier said than done) it’s just my brain explodes when there’s too much going on at once and some content blends into others, i’m trying to only follow people who i’m genuinely interested in enough to keep up with their posts from now on

I haven't been able to sleep in over 72 hours thanks to the constant fear over the looming world war. I'm fine. Completely fine

Oh shit, have you noticed that the media has been putting out more 'what to do during a nuclear attack' kinda articles? This world is slowly going to shit, for real. I'm not even near any of the danger really, but it still absolutely terrifies me to see all of that bc it could very well go wrong and hit my place as well yknow? I have no idea why i send this to you but you seem chill and calm so thanks for reading my freakout askfjsls

YEP it’s pretty terrifying. but at the same time don’t let fear overwhelm you, fearmongering is an ugly, ugly thing and you don’t want to live your life constantly worrying. so just prepare yourself for what might come, but at the same time, just spend as much time with your loved ones as you can, do all the things you’ve ever wanted to do, and then if it doesn’t turn out as bad as we thought it would, you *tim mcgraw voice* lived like u were dyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyin’

@ Jesus anon: I really don't think it's the right time to complain about "using the lord name in vain" when there are people terrified of leaving their homes bc they are afraid to get killed (aka that poor, poor Jewish anon in charlottesville)

yeah idk like i want to respect everyone but it seemed to be in poor taste to bring that up at a time like that lmao. and also i’ve literally never in my entire life met someone who actually takes “don’t say the lord’s name in vain” seriously. 

I asked about the poses and HOLY CRAP THANK YOU SO MUCH! I finally have good poses to use for story telling. Thank you soo so so so sooooo much!

YAY i’m glad you found some good stuff <3 and honestly just going through lana’s blog you’ll find a ton of good poses, it’s a gold mine

Idk how much tv you watch, but have you've ever come across a tv show that used music from The Sim? Because once in a while I'll hear Sims 3 build/buy music on some random show and I'll get a lil shook because I find it so weird that the generic music they're using comes from a major game title.

OMG LMAO NO what i wish i’d come across that tho. one time i used sims 1 music in a video i made for school and someone recognized it

I love your stories gosh I check your page "it's everyday bro with femmesim flow" Lol sorry for that awkward Jake Paul "poop" ❤️

lmao thank u i had no idea who jake paul was until my friends started talking about him

yo, I also remember once in french class real life santi asked me what videos games I like to play. When I told him the sims, he looked at me for a while and shaked his head. He was like, "why do you want to watch your sims use the toilet?"

WHY DO YOU WANT TO WATCH YOUR SIMS USE THE TOILET SAME that’s all i care about when i play

that rooney face in the 5 facts is so iconic, its my fave picture of her. You should blow it up and frame it

i should tbh. i should print it out and put it in my wallet to show everyone because she is my child

sorry the bother you, merging cc makes your game smoother? can you explain to me please?

boop

hi i love you ♡ pass it on

I LOVE U

Can I say that hearing a MacBooks fans screaming for dear life as they try to cool down when playing the sims has actually started to haunt my nightmares

SAME my macbook is actually doing it right now for no reason. thanks laptop

Maybe Santi should go to therapy to talk out his issues.

maybe he should 🤔  but tbh he’s already talked out everything, there’s nothing really more to talk out. he just has to cope with it. he’s treated lou like his therapist thus far and that’s not okay

i love ur story and omg i totally get where lou is coming from with being tired of being compared to molly by santi, thatd hurt so much esp with how much she cares about him

thank youuu ;-; i’m glad you understand, this was a part i’d wanted to get out for a loooong time now, and i know you guys were always like “um why does she put up with this” lmao. she just loves him, that’s why. but you’re right, it does hurt.

My theory is very similar to the other anons in that Fiona's dad/Lou's ex had a mental illness (schizophrenia, depression, what have you) but he actually did kill himself and that's why she's not completely losing it on Santi because I feel like most people in that situation would have not handled it as well as Lou did

🤔 you’re right about the last part, and there’s a reason she has so much patience, das all i’m sayin

i started your story from the beginning last night and i am in awe. Its amazing. It inspired me to put a little more effort in learning to edit and write. It was like reading screen caps from a movie! I didn't want to stop reading. Anyway thing was a super sappy ask, but i appreciate your stuff. And i'm bad at putting my thoughts into words.

omg ;__________; when people tell me i inspired them it means the most to me, my brain just can’t process it lmao. so thank you so so much ;-; <333 THE MOVIE THING ESPECIALLY GOT ME IN THE HEART because i feel like that’s my aesthetic with most things i create because i’m such a film person lol. don’t worry i love super sappy, and you did a good job of wording everything because it got me right in the feels <33

Okay I've been snickering for about 43 minutes bc SANTI GOT THAT GRU CHINNN

WOT is that i googled it and the only thing that came up was the dad from despicable me lmfaosdkjfs but ok

Please, please do punk edits of your some of your characters! I'd die.

WHAT DOES THIS MEANNN do you mean like. those 2010 tumblr edits of punk disney characters and then the joker from suicide squad looked like one of them. do u want santi to be the joker. because my boyfriend already relates him to suicide squad joker because of his face tatt lmao

You love to make me cry

i do i’m sorry. if it makes you feel any better i love to make myself cry too. but my biceps grow stronger with every tear

I reeeally dont think those chancla comments were offensive??? Why would they be?? I'm hispanic (born and raised in the sunny Dominican Republic, received a fair amount of chancletazos myself) and I laughed out loud when i read them 😂😂

I JUST WANT U TO KNOW I SHOWED @ichosim THIS MESSAGE AND SHE LAUGHED FOR 12 HOURS AT “CHANCLETAZOS”

whATT my little brothers name is santiago n we call him santi for short!! guess it's not rly that uncommon but we live in a small country and he's also 4 so like,, no other santiagos!! idk why im saying this its completely irrelevant just kinda surprised me :'))

OMG wow hell yeah another real life santi...santi acts like a 4 yr old so he might as well be your brother

Just curious.. Do you play sims or just use it for storytelling? Sorry if thats weird haha

well my recent gameplay pics should answer your question lmao. i do like to play but i don’t have enough time to both play and pose scenes so i mostly just pose scenes for now. :[ i am gonna be off work for like two weeks tho so hell yeah gameplay here i come!!

I'm starting a Fiona appreciation movement because she is the real star of santis story RT and i love her and she is way underappreciated and I love her KThxBi

SHE IS THE REAL STAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’ve said this before but santi’s relationship with her is the most important to me, out of every relationship he has in this story. i’m so glad you love her so much, sorry about what’s about to come in the next few scenes tho

Oh my heart, Santi is alive, god exist

I have a pretty hard time understanding Santi's story mostly because I'm not English but I'm sure I'll figure it out:)

ahh oh no D: i’m sorry i wish i spoke every language in the world lmao. if you want, you can message me off anon and i’ll help you understand it!!

Lou is an angel honestly

“there are worse things than seeing an angel before you die”

what tablet do you use? or how do you draw hair? it looks so pretty.

omg haha i don’t have one! i wish i did tho. all of the brushes i got from deviantart, i’m trying to find the specific ones but they’re all elusive wtf. i’ll post them when i find them! for now, here’s a good guide to drawing hair, by airi <3

Nah nah I always knew you'd save him.....eheheeh.....THANK YOU FOR NOT KILLING BABBY SANTEEEEEEEEE DNDDNSKANW YOU WOULD HAVE HAD SO MUCH BLOOD ON UR HANDS AS ALL UR FOLLOWERS COLLECTIVELY DIE FROM A BROKEN HEART BUT DW WE DIDNT BECAUSE UR QN ANGEL....but I toooootally knew you'd save him... /sweats/

I’M GLAD U HAD FAITH <3 i know omfg i would’ve expected a mob at my house if i’d actually killed him. if i ever killed him i would just lay down somewhere and die. that’s it for me

Lou & molly almost always have teeth showing, do you draw them on each pic?x

no, only sometimes i’ve drawn them when i felt like their mouths weren’t matching the expression i wanted. but most of the time it’s just the pose.

is it too late to send 16k dollars to guarantee santi's inclusion in a loving home with loving friends

it is absolutely never too late to send me 16k i promise you that

I just bought school books for $550 who knew studying marine biology could be so fuckING EXPENSIVE

EWW WTF...i’ve been lucky and haven’t had to spend a ton on books in my college career (one time i even went to such lengths that i got access to free trial version of one of my school books in a pdf, screencapped EVERY SINGLE PAGE, which was more than 400 pages, just so i wouldn’t have to spend $70 on it. i love cheating the system)

waIT i never saw ur selfie where is it, must see

u could probably just search “selfie” on my blog and find it, or enjoy the ugly closeup drunk snap i posted last night

Hey guys I'm a happy trans man that has no mental illnesses. I'm fucking pissed about Trump's ban. And to any one that says it's logical FUCK YOU! I'm having flashbacks to don't ask, don't tell because this is the same fucking wacked up logic. I'm so angry, like I'm a human, yes I may require testosterone shots once a month but that's it, I even administer them to myself. I pay for them with my own god damn money so fuck you transphobic bigots who say this law is fair. It's not. WE ARE HUMAN TOO Also same anon that ranted. Sorry about that I'm just really pissed and I love and thank you for sticking up for the community. We love you and I love you. And you're right not all trans people transition. We all do what we want to. Some start on T or E and have the full surgery. Some just have top surgery. Some just do testosterone or estrogen. Some never do anything. We're all still trans and we're all valid.

YES ALL OF THIS, sorry i didn’t answer this when it was all happening. but askdkjfas thank you for this message, I LOVE YOU TOO, SO MUCH <333 and i’m glad you feel comfortable enough to voice this in my inbox. yes every trans person is valid no matter what they decide to do with their bodies <3

One of those old hot topic shirts that said " if Darryl dies we riot " but with santi instead of Darryl.

OMG LMAOOOOO NOW THAT’S A CONCEPT who’s making these i want one

your use of references and reaction pics and gifs fucken KILLS ME

Crystal anon here. I googled around my area to find there are none of those y'know, crystal, candle, incense, magic type shops. I have panic attacks when I go outside and I wanted to look into alternative stuff since I'm on meds and w/e. I wanted to know if you or friends had any experience or recommendations for buying crystals online like on etsy or amazon. How can you tell if they're real?x

ooooh ok. usually there are shops like those in cities or even in towns with like kitschy little promenades with independent shops. (i know there’s one around the town over from mine, which is so random lmao) i do have friends that have crystals but i think they mostly just collect them for the ~good vibez~ and don’t really look too far into the healing aspects of them. i would say first go with the one that coincides with your birth because those are the ones that are like specifically catered to you and strengthen your being. as for buying online, hmmmmm i mean i don’t really know any specific trustworthy sellers because i don’t have much experience with this, but definitely read the reviews! those will help you a lot <3

Hello could you please tell us how you edited the pic of rooney in that one post that the anon asked for the unedited version?

i honestly didn’t do much of anything that differs from my usual editing process! i made her eyes a bit bigger by using the clone tool, cloning the top of her eye and applying it a little bit farther up...if that makes sense. it’s hard to explain how to use that tool lmao. and i think i used the liquify tool to bring part of her eyebrow down to look more worried.

there's still a part of me that says she ain't dead and molly is just in a coma lmao end mE

OMFLDKGKJS yeah she’s not dead surprise. i WILL say there is still flashback stuff that will be revealed. well not “revealed” like molly’s death was revealed, like i just still have to showcase some things that happened afterward. because it doesn’t just end with molly’s death, there’s stuff after that as well :~}

I'm Mexican, have lived around Mexicans, have been to Mexico multiple times growing up, just came back from a family trip at practically the border between Mexico and Guatemala and never in my life have I ever heard the word "joder" i had to look it up xD (not hating or anything I just thought I'd mention it cuz I found it funny...lol) k bye...

OK NOT SURE IF the ppl you’ve been around just don’t curse or whatever but...joder is DEFINITELY something i’ve heard mexican people say before lmao

Okay so this is random, but i was telling my sister the name of one your characters in ur story (santi) and she kinda just starts singing his name, and she said "santi high, santi low, santi go." And im just sitting there, like woah.

LMFAO WHATKNJDSKJGD “woah” same

u gonna incorporate fis hat into a really like emotional sad thing in her story huh

oMG i wasn’t planning on it but hmm 🤔

Why no el chingo? NO ME GUSTA (I'm joking btw ily)

LMFAOOOO because i didn’t wanna have to defile my son by downloading the penis mod RIP

let santi grow out dem eyebrows 2kforever

omg he does let them grow out except for the little line he shaved in when he was 14 that never grew back RIP

in ur bio it says "kt" and i know why,, it means killing them as in killing off ur characters slowly i see u gurl

i bet this story was just an excuse for you to see the world burn. well done.

OMG i mean, that was definitely one of the side effects of it all. but really it was just that i NEEDED to get this story out after it had lived in my brain for so long.

ur dead 2 me

I... just.... can't... too much pain Y U DO DIS 2 UZ?!?!!!

[mynameismarines]

I read Handbook for Mortals

I had the truly, unironically #blessed opportunity to see the original Twitter investigation of Handbook for Mortals when it first appeared on the NYT Bestseller list. For a moment, Book Twitter came together, like the repressed Veronica Marses they are, and detected the shit out of the book no one had heard of that pushed (the amazing, worth the hype) The Hate U Give from its number one spot.

Since then, the case has only gotten stranger, partly because the author, Lani Sarem, seems to be completely unapologetic about what she’s done.

I have to admit that I was curious about the book from moment one. Snarking bad books is kind of a thing for me. Thus started the war within between ignoring her and hoping it would all go away and dragging the book because it had to be shit, right?

Right, well, here we are.

The first page starts with ms whoever saying she's NEVER had a "normal" day before. NEVER. Maybe brief normal moments. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines) September 16, 2017

I imagine those brief normal moments in her day are bathroom breaks? #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/vETrTwRWPI

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

oh, honey, have I got some news for you#snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/9GiHeG93ER

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

I'll never forget this one particular, super important day-- BUT FIRST, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE COLORS I DYE MY HAIR LOL. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

Bitch, we've all had windy days. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

Levi's jeans "ripped in all the right places": a guide by me#snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/oweamXam2N

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

Yes, she's really taking time to describe her outfit, and it includes jeans "ripped in all the right places." #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

She RARELY thinks about how she wants a photographer around to capture how awesome she looks. RARELY. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/oMWb4IJqfz

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

"Even when she was in a hurry, she never looked like she was rushing or running, but instead floating gingerly." #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/Wfyh5aiXYL

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

Anyone have guesses about how she'll describe herself? Does she know she's beautiful? Is that what makes her beautiful? #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

People say she's beautiful but... but... she doesn't have a thigh-gap! #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

The dialogue is awful. They keep glaring at each other. Her mom keeps asking questions that aren't really questions. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

"I edged myself closer and directed my words so closely she could feel my breath on her face." Awful. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/EoXCCJYVfU

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

Also, Zade and her mother have both ground their teeth during this argument? What is happening? #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/wXmMzKXmNr

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

Please, for a good time, try replicating this at home. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/sStONUjBqI

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

SHE PUTS THE LYRICS IN THE BOOK. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

I HAVE COME ALL THIS WAY FOR YOU, TACKY CARPET. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

You guys just have to read this for yourselves. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/hbPzbQvXwG

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

If I hadn't been so nervous, I would've paid more attention to him! Here's 5 more lines of me paying attention to him lol. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

"I ONCE READ AN ARTICLE THAT SAID YOU CAN TELL SOMEONE'S PERSONALITY BY HOW THEY WALK AND CARRY THEMSELVES." #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

You: He was confident. Zade, an intellectual: I once read an article about walking and now I notice that kind of thing. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

The magician's name is Charles Spellman. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

She mentions describing him as someone might describe Ford and then goes on and on about black clothes and cufflinks. WHAT. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

Says the girl that randomly wishes a photographer were around to capture her beauty in the wind. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/yqUaCBWW0f

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

Wow the beautiful woman is being bitchy what a plot twist, who saw this coming. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/4tA20P15ae

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

Hey little buddy comma. Whatcha doing there? #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/Kmwl7ZRMJk

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

NOT SWOLLEN AFTER A BEE STING LOOKING, GOT IT. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

This happened a lot in Grey by EL James and we just assumed all the italics were thoughts from Grey's dick. 💁🏽#snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

CASUALLY, 11 pages into chapter 1, still no nearer to her actual audition. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/MBmvupuS6q

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

All of these professional magic show people are trying to figure out how she did her trick and she's like RUH-ROH!. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

Not eavesdropping. Everyone is just standing around her, talking about her so she can hear. Because first person is hard. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

"Calm, collected, sweet, kind, and confident cascaded out of his being." *flips ahead to see if any editor is thanked* #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

"Even so, Riley's energy was youthful and energetic." HIS ENERGY WAS ENERGETIC YOU GUYS I CANNOT. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 16, 2017

Dear sweet mercy, I made it out of chapter one. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 17, 2017

Zade has already met and spoken with Beth, hence why she's waiting for her. That's not how first impressions work, girl. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/RA2wbuMu1z

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Ever hear that if you have to explain the joke, it's not funny? #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/WW5DX3WtnZ

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

I knew that sharing that quote with you all you would take as a joke. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

"I stood up slowly and calculated." #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/cJpAQblUPF

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

She's still 3 inches shorter? She still... has to look up...? #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/Je3sgNpOgC

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Sucks to be you average bitches. Zade is TALL which means she can look the menses in the eye. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

"I half smiled and slowly spoke..." DID ANYONE READ THIS BEFORE IT WAS PUBLISHED? #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

You know an argument is getting heated when a bad author whips out all the animal noises. Growling snarling hissing! Oh my!

#snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Zade describes Charles as someone who doesn't have compromise in his vocabulary. DID ANYONE READ THIS??? #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

He demands to know how she does her magic trick hiss growl snarl. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Charles, the magician Harrison Ford, steps in and says that Zade will tell only him her magical secrets. The end. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

It's like listening to my 5 year old niece tell a story, honestly. Check the repetition and errors. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/st37NDgjNG

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

This is CHAPTER 2. We sill don't know WTF is going on, but we do know about her HALLOWEEN COSTUME PREFERENCES. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/Dy38mjzHPH

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

If you are playing Terrible MC Bingo at home, Zade is currently ignoring everything another female character is saying! #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

You guys. There's just been an abrupt change in perspective, indicated by this large and in charge symbol? #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/K3RomEos4D

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Look at her describe how Mac makes a fist to knock on the door. SHE DESCRIBES HIS FIST-MAKING ACTION. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Remember when Zade was all, "I guess I'm okay looking but I'm not skinny wah." Clarification: her waist is SMALL. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

This character is going to be played by the author in a movie. She's an author stand in. I'M UNCOMFORTABLE. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Awww yeah, time for another round of Please I Beg You Try This At Home:#snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/4M1nFzX2Pp

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Mac spies on her while she's naked but he's not happy about it, okay? She's the ENEMY. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Zade literally runs into another hot guy named Jackson so I guess we have a love triangle now? #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

It's really more than just bad writing. She's so repetitive that I have to assume than she thinks we are all stupid. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/7BaH1xqyCh

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

I have no proof, but that's what I think 'cause I've learned enough in the past to kinda prove it.#snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Round 3 of please try this at home, scrunching twitching edition: #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/pIuw6wPCqP

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

"Each step was precise." All this time, I've been walking imprecisely. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

"I have long legs, but his are longer..." YEAH, WE REMEMBER ZADE. YOU ARE ALMOST AS TALL AS THE MENS. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Mac is back. Quiz time! What is Mac doing? a. singing beautifully b. whispering c. speaking normally d. snarling#snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Zade says two people are arguing and she doesn't stop to listen. Then goes on to tell us everything they are saying. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

That was her explaining why she was comforting someone who just drowned, by the way. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

SHE'S PLAYING A SONG THAT PERFECTLY MATCHES MAC AND THE LYRICS ARE PRINTED AGAIN. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

tiny tiny tiny tiniest#snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/DynWHBxjYZ

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

quoted at the beginning + now in chapter 4. #homage #inspo #deep #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/pBNpnLbVD9

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING THAT'S HAPPENED. #snarkformortals https://t.co/Lj3gd070rn

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

Her name is Scheherazade and she goes by Zade with a long a? I'm offended on so many levels. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

MAC'S REAL NAME IS CLARK KENT. You guys should see me DYING over here. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 18, 2017

She defines premonition and says how fuzzy it is like 17 times but I'll spare you. It's a vision and again-- it's fuzzy. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 19, 2017

Up on a platform, Sofia the beautiful bitch is refusing to wear her safety harness because of ~*reasons*~ #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 19, 2017

She pushes her with enough force that she misses the stage below and lands in the pool next to the stage? #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 19, 2017

Then everyone else stands around talking about the malfunction while Zade performs CPR on Sofia? No one is fussed. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 19, 2017

By the way, Zade used to spend her summers working as a lifeguard. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 19, 2017

Mac finds her outside and suddenly, they like each other and bond over Aimee Mann and motorcycles. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 19, 2017

What a gal. #snarkformortals

— Marines (@mynameismarines)

September 19, 2017

For the full thread, check out #snarkformortals on Twitter.