#also learnt many new words today

[another-miracle]

Had to conduct an ADHD assessment interview with my case’s parents today and oops they came in not knowing how to speak English. Thank God for my supervisor who could field the questions. I kept telling them 我不会讲，会听 (I can’t speak, but I can listen). It was on the spot translation to fill in my interview form.

[inkdrinkerworld]

Hiii i just saw your post prision Spencer post with sunshine reader and im soooo in love with it (and in love with him too tbh) could you please do a pt2? Have a nice day💕

spencer and sunshine!reader have set routines on office days and spencer likes flirting pt 1 of their story 🤭

“Spencer Reid, prepare to have your mind blown!” You announce as you walk into the bullpen, your Mary Janes clacking against the tiles. You’re in a skirt today, Spencer supposes it’s because it’s a designated office day- there’s only three a month, but every time there is one, you come in an outfit Spencer would never even dream of. 

Today you’re channelling your inner Elle Woods. He knows about her from Resse Witherspoon, but also from your innate love of the film and the fact that you forced him to watch it on the jet once. 

You’re wearing a pretty black skirt, a grey top and a baby pink blazer that matches the pink socks you’re wearing and your eyeshadow that he just about makes out behind your glasses. 

“With what?” He’s on his way back from the kitchen, your prized orca mug in one hand and his mug in the other.

This is your new routine; you and Spencer have coffee in the morning while you both work through your crosswords and then get started on filing away reports for the many serial killers you’ve either interviewed with Tara or put away with the team. It’s fun, and it’s always something to look forward to, especially on designated office days. 

These specific mornings, you have time for a game you’ve fondly named, ‘Making Spencer Try International Desserts.’

Spencer can smell your perfume, you smell like you always do- orange blossom, coffee and lavender. It’s intoxicating, the way the scent just floats into him with every move you make. 

“The season calls for it, so  I got pavlova. It’s a New Zealand dessert and I got it with raspberries, strawberries and a passion fruit syrup situation to go on top.” 

Spencer knows the informational side to everything in the world but he’s never tried some of it out, as you’d learnt on a night out for drinks, so you’d started the game as a way to help him get real world knowledge of fun things- the operative word being up for debate but he hadn’t objected yet. 

He clears his desk, making space for the two little boxes you have in your hand. “They’re a little sweet for breakfast, but you only live once.” You open up the boxes and Spencer is shocked to see the mini pavlovas and the fruit sitting beside it in a clear container. 

“Do you like these?” He asks, handing over your coffee to you and pulling his box towards him. 

“I do, but they’re more of a picnic food to share in my opinion. Like you need to be having a bar-b-que or a garden party to have the full effect of these.” Spencer isn’t surprised by your enthusiasm for the dessert- your little stories about every one you’ve shared with him is enthusiastic for how and when to eat them. 

You sneak into the kitchen and return with two spoons. “Okay, try to get a bit of everything on your spoon.” 

Spencer does as you say, a bit of the berries, the passion fruit and the shell of the pavlova on his spoon as he takes his first bite. You sit in anticipation, watching him chew and swallow like it’s the most fascinating thing a person could do. 

You try not to focus on the way his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows or the way his tongue pokes out to lick away some of the meringue at the corner of his mouth. Spencer catches the way your eyes widen at the action and suppresses a smile. 

“What do you think?” You busy yourself with setting up your own perfect bite, willing your body not to give away any of your fluster at being caught looking at him. 

“It was really nice, I like the different textures.” Spencer compliments, watching you take your own bite and letting himself smile when some of the passion fruit syrup and meringue stain your bottom lip. 

Without really thinking, his thumb comes to your face, wiping away the stain easily. Your breath hitches and Spencer feels it, his smile widening even more. There’s a moment where you both just stare at each other, your breathing filling the silence- you’re fighting the urge to lean in and kiss Spencer and he’s fighting the urge to lick his thumb. 

“You only pretend to be this coy man, don’t you Doctor Reid?” you ask finally, leaning back in the chair you’re in and crossing your legs. Spencer’s sure his brain short circuits for a moment, your thighs have been a source of his torture for months now, especially when you wear skirts and dresses. 

“You know you only call me ‘Doctor Reid’ when you’re flustered?” he tries changing the subject, leaning forward a bit to get a little closer to you. 

“You have a knack for topic evasion, Spencer.” he laughs, a soft, sweet sound and he shakes his head. 

“I have a knack for you,” you can feel your heart pounding in your ears, more so when Spencer’s fingers wrap around the arm of your chair and pull you closer to his desk. “Where’s your crossword?”

[finelinefae]

rose [tattooH x innocenty/n]

synopsis: Harry's a tattoo artist who can't figure out the best way to say how in love he is with the flower shop owner next door

word count: 10.5k

content warnings: smut (first time oral f recieving, daddy kink, praise kink, virgin Y/N), brief mentions of violence

read part 1 here

this is a lot !! like a lot happens !! also everyone smiles a lot,, i can't help it they're happy

. . .

Harry had come to the conclusion that of all the things he had had to do in his twenty-six years of life - all the things he had to do and say to get where he was today - saying I love you to his girlfriend was proving to be one of the most intricate tasks he had encountered.

And it wasn't because he didn't love her. From the moment she stepped into his tattoo shop with determination and fear all intertwined into one expression right up until now, he was pretty sure his relationship with Y/N was the physical embodiment of what it meant to be loved and to love in return.

He had learnt so much about the sweet, pretty girl next door. From her little habits and small quirks that she didn't think he ever noticed.

Y/N loved wearing Harry's clothes. He had bought a new band tee from an online shop one of his friends had recommended to him. When the parcel hadn't arrived on time, he wondered if it had gotten lost in transit or they'd delivered it to the wrong address. He had emailed them once or twice to see its whereabouts only to find the Fleetwood Mac t-shirt on the body of his girlfriend asleep on his sofa when he came home from work. "But Harry, they're so soft and comfy!" She argued when he accused her the next morning. "Know that baby but I need clothes to wear." He was trying not to smile and pinch her cheeks when he caught a glimpse of her pouty lips. "But Harry-" He couldn't help but interrupt her with a quick kiss to her lips, "Can use some of my old shirts flower, y' can pick them out. C'mon sweet girl," He led her to his wardrobe and let her scramble through the box of his old shirts.

She loved being praised. Harry thought it was the cutest thing ever when he'd compliment her or tell her how good she was for him and her cheeks would turn a dusky pink colour. He'd often find himself kissing the crescent moon-shaped dimples on her cheeks whenever she'd beam up at him after he mumbled sweet praises into her ear, "M' good girl," He'd say, "Best girl, m' favourite flower."

She loved physical touch from him and him only. His favourite time of day was coming home after a busy day of working and finding his darling girl sitting up in bed, either reading or watching TV, waiting for him in his favourite soft, satin pyjamas she wears (he loved the feel of them under his hands whenever he held her). She'd make grabby hands for him as soon as she saw him walk through the door of her bedroom, wanting to touch him almost immediately. He'd kiss her a few times, run his fingers through her hair, stroke her cheek and brush his fingers over her arm. Even when they were walking through the streets of the town, Y/N would often cling to Harry - feeling anxious being around too many people. He'd comfort her with soothing touches, rubbing circles on the pulse point on her wrist to make sure she was okay.

There were so many things Harry had come to adore about his favourite girl in the entire world. From the way she'd look at him with big rounded eyes as though he hung up the moon and stars in the sky or knew the answer to everything she asked, to the way she'd melt under his touch whenever they'd do something even slightly intimate. He was so in love... He just didn't know how to tell her that.

Harry had never been in a serious relationship before so the idea of love didn't come easy to him. He had spent the majority of his life believing he was destined to be lonely, finding himself in one-night stands and never getting past the first date for lack of connection. He didn't know what romantic love looked like, felt like or even if it existed at all until he met his favourite flower. 

Moments would crop up where he could feel the first syllable spike the tip of his tongue but invisible hands wrapped themself around his neck as he tried to let the words out. Y/N would sit patiently, waiting for him to continue speaking, but he'd just end up kissing her, hoping he could communicate his words without saying them.

He wasn't quite sure what he was expecting when it came to saying those three simple words, words that carried so much weight between them. Maybe it was because he wanted the moment to be special and memorable for her, so he waited for the perfect opportunity to confess. But the anticipation was driving him a bit crazy.

It was very early Wednesday morning. Y/N was cutting up sheets of tissue paper since it was nearing winter and people would be out buying gifts soon for their loved ones. She had ordered a bunch of new seed packets and planned to make little gift sets to sell.

Harry was sitting at the workshop table in the middle of the shop. He was wearing his shorts and a black hoodie with the hood pulled over his head. He wore his worn-out, white Vans as if they were slippers, with the left shoe dangling precariously from his toes, threatening to slide off at any moment. His tired eyes tried to remain focused on counting the coins for Y/N's till since she always miscalculated and would have to go visit him for more money even though his shop was cashless which he reminded her every time as he slipped her a five-pound note from his own back pocket.

The shop was silent in the early hours of the morning as the two worked separately. Y/N enjoyed that she didn't constantly have to make conversation with her boyfriend for him to be interested. They were happy to just be in each other's company for as long as possible.

"Baby," Harry's raspy voice broke the comfortable silence between them. Y/N's head lifted naturally in response, "C'mere." He opened his arm out but his eyes were still trained on counting the coins.

Y/N smiled tiredly and walked over to him, tucking herself into his side and holding onto the arm that wrapped around her. He kissed the top of her head, "Didn't get to hold y' this morning, left me cold." He murmured against her.

"M sorry, H. It's always stressful when the season changes." She sighed, thinking about all the work she still had yet to do before autumn passed.

"S okay, just missed you is all." He hummed. Y/N turned herself so she was pressed against the worktop and looking up at him. She loved every version of Harry at all times of day but something about Harry in the morning made her swoon. He was so soft and cuddly, needy and grabby, she'd always have to pry his hands off of her in the morning so she could get to work on time.

Y/N grinned and leaned her head forward, past the hood of his sweatshirt, to kiss him. "Wanted to ask you if y’ would come on a date with me this Saturday.” He whispered, eyes still closed from kissing her.

Every eight weeks, Y/N’s shop would close for the entire weekend. Since her shop was open most days, she wanted to give herself at least some time off to look forward to. Harry knew that particular weekend was coming up because of how much she was looking forward to it so he made sure to free up his weekend too so he could take her out for the day. 

They had been on dinner dates and done a few other things here and there but there was only so much they could do in their small town. So as soon as he thought of the idea, he booked train tickets to take Y/N to the coast for the day. 

“Hmmm,” Y/N sighed, reaching into his hood to wrap her arms around his neck, his skin warm against her touch. “Where would we go?”

“S a surprise,” He whispered into her ear, his breath warm. 

“I’d love to go on a date with you Harry,” She replied, voice soft. 

“Yeah? It’ll be cold so you’ll need to wear a sweater.” He told her. 

"I only own sweaters," She rolled her eyes, pushing away from him so she could get back to work.

"Yeah, my sweaters." Harry teased.

Y/N narrowed her eyes, "Get back to counting those coins or you'll be fired."

"Yes ma'am," He couldn't stop smiling to himself as he carried on counting each penny.

. . .

The small train was busy on the way to the coast on Saturday morning but luckily they had managed to grab two seats next to each other by the window. Y/N insisted that they listened to one of the very many playlists she had curated for them both to listen to. It wasn’t long into their relationship that Harry had come to realise that music was one of Y/N’s love languages. 

He remembered when he first moved in and heard her music through the walls of her apartment as he bought his food shopping up the stairs his first night. The music played well into the night and he had planned to knock on her door and ask her to turn it down like she had done to him the day they had first met, but his ears caught onto her singing. He pressed his ear up against the door and listened as she sang to herself whilst dishes clinked together. She wasn’t the best singer he had ever heard but something about her soft voice soothed him, so he turned around and went about his night with the girl singing next door. 

Y/N pulled out her wired earbuds not long after they’d sat down and gave one of them to Harry. After Hours by The Velvet Underground started playing and Harry smiled to himself as he watched Y/N gaze out the window of the train. He reached for her hand which was covered by her fingerless gloves she had crocheted herself and intertwined their fingers together. 

The train pulled into the final station an hour later. Harry held tightly onto Y/N as people bustled to get on and off the train at the same time. The weather wasn’t perfect when they had arrived - slightly overcast and grey - but it didn’t stop Y/N from gasping at the sight of the ocean in front of her. 

“Harry look!” She pointed as the waves rolled into the shore. She looked adorable in her white hat and earmuffs, her white puffer coat made her look like a giant marshmallow. She was almost matching Harry, in his black puffer coat and green bobble hat. 

“Y/N! Slow down baby,” He called for her as he ran to catch up with her. 

They walked down the steps and onto the beach which was practically void of any people other than a few dog walkers. He was thankful he had told her to wear a thick coat since the wind was bitter and cold. Harry’s smile was so wide, that his dimples pierced each one of his cheeks as he watched her run around in her UGG boots and leggings. 

“Beautiful,” Harry whispered, hoping the words would get caught in the wind and blow straight to her so she could hear them. 

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen the sea,” She closed her eyes and inhaled the fresh sea air. Harry came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. 

They walked side by side with each other. Harry held Y/N’s hand inside the pocket of his coat and every once in a while, she would stop to pick up a shell which she would pass to him to put in his other coat pocket. At some point, it started to drizzle down with rain but they carried on walking and talking along the beach. 

Harry would watch as Y/N ran up to the sea to pick up bits of sea glass and try to not get caught by the water. She looked adorable as she ran up the beach looking back at him with her woolly hat and giant coat swamping her. Strands of hair stuck to her damp, rosy cheeks as rain dripped from her coat since they had been out so long. He pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of her as she crouched down to look at something she’d found in the sand. He made a mental note to share it on everything he possibly could so everyone in his life would know how much he loved her, even if she didn’t know just yet. 

Harry swore he was going to tell her he was in love with her right there and then but his heart fell out of his chest when he watched her trip and stumble back onto the sand. “Y/N,” He rushed over, immediately wanting to check if she was okay, only to be met with her giggling and laying back on the sand like a starfish on land. 

“Lay here with me,” She patted the spot next to her. 

The last thing Harry wanted to do was get his new black trousers wet and dirty from the sand but he would do anything and everything she asked him to do so he fell onto the sand and laid right next to her. 

His pinky finger hooked with hers as they both looked up at the sky, “Are you happy flower?” He asked.

“I think this is the happiest I’ve ever been in my life,” She confesses and the words make Harry’s heart grow ten times the size. “I think spending time with you is when I’m the happiest Harry.”

When it reached past midday, Harry took Y/N to grab something to eat before they had to take the train home again. Their coats were dripping when they stepped inside the small cafe Harry had picked out for them. The kind owner had even offered to dry them both for them before they had to leave again. 

“Harry,” She gasped, “They do blueberry pancakes!” 

Harry smirked, not wanting to tell her that he had picked this cafe specifically because they made one of Y/N’s favourite foods, “Really? Tha’s your favourite right baby?”

She nods, “I’m gonna get that- ooo it even comes with the option of honey or syrup!” Y/N beams. 

By the time their food had arrived, they were well invested in conversation, “Was thinking of getting my ear pierced next weekend. One of my mates has free space and thought it would be fun to get a hoop or something.” Harry tells her. 

Y/N paused on chewing her pancake as she pictured her boyfriend with a hoop earring. She swallowed down her food before getting out, “That would be hot.”

Harry laughs at her bluntness, “Yeah?” He smirked, “You think so?” Y/N nodded, her cheeks tinged pink. 

Although they kissed and made out at any spare moment they could, they hadn’t really branched out from the time Harry had touched her for the first time. Y/N knew Harry was trying to be patient about it - he was a gentleman like that - but she was going crazy not having his ring-clad hands touching her skin, providing that ecstasy he had given her a glimpse of for the first time.  

“Y alright there flower?” Harry crooned, “Anything on your mind you’d care to share.”

Y/N shook her head, ridding them of her dirty thoughts, “M okay, H.” 

“Alright,” His eyes twinkled as he smiled at her, “You look beautiful by the way.”

“Thank you, Harry,” Her eyes softened, “And thank you for bringing me here today, I’ve loved being here with you.”

Harry parted his lips as if to respond, but found himself speechless, the words trapped somewhere in his throat. Y/N looked at him expectantly, her eyes silently urging him to express whatever was on his mind. With a sigh, his shoulders slumped, and he finally spoke, "I've loved being here with you too. I love every moment I get to be with you." Y/N beamed as Harry inwardly cursed himself for being unable to articulate the depth of his feelings. Yet, as he saw the radiant smile spread across Y/N's face, he couldn't help but feel a surge of warmth and contentment wash over him, knowing that his words were enough to reach her for now. 

After the train journey home, which took slightly longer than anticipated, Harry carried Y/N up to her apartment and into her bedroom where he slumped her down on her bed. Y/N hummed at the feeling of her warm, cosy sheets beneath her. “Comfy m’love?” He grinned, tugging the sleeves of his coat off so he was just in his white t-shirt and black trousers. 

“I’m so sleepy,” Y/N sighed, eyes closed whilst Harry tugged her shoes off as her feet dangled over the edge of the bed.

“Cause you’ve been running around all day huh? Could barely keep up with you half the time.” Harry briefly massages the souls of her feet after taking both her shoes off, knowing they were probably aching from running on the beach all day.

“But it was sooo much fun,” Y/N whined, her tired eyes peering down at Harry.

“Yeah, yeah, I know that lovie. Need to get y’ out of these clothes so I can put them in the wash.” He tugs on her leggings.

“Can you do it?” Y/N asks, “M too tired.”

Harry pauses, “Y’ sure baby? Don’t want y’ to be uncomfortable.” 

“M sure Harry, I trust you.” She tells him.

He smiles to himself as her words settle in the space between them. A smile curves his lips almost involuntarily, reflecting the quiet gratitude he feels towards her trust.  “Alright, lift y’ hips for me, flower.” He instructs and Y/N does as she’s told, lifting her hips so he can pull down her leggings leaving her in her pink lacey panties. 

Harry swallows as he sees the apex of her thighs. He hadn’t seen this much of her before and he could already feel himself harden in his jeans at the sight of her. “Think y’ can sit up for me flower? Jus’ so I can’t take your sweater off?” He tries to stop staring at her bare legs but he can’t seem to take his eyes away.

Y/N groans but does as she’s told, sitting up and putting her arms up so Harry can remove the sweater from her torso. Her eyes are still shut and Harry gently pulls the soft sweater over her head. 

When her eyes open, the first thing Y/N sees is Harry standing above her with his gaze fixed on her figure and she realizes this is the most he's ever seen of her yet. She had nothing but a vest and underwear to cover her body. Y/N was pretty sure he could see the curve of her breasts and the outline of her nipples through the thin, white material. 

“Harry…” she whispers, suddenly realising what was happening, how the temperature in the room had suddenly shifted.

Y/N shivered as Harry cupped her cheek and bent forward to kiss her. She leaned backwards onto the bed, resting on her elbows as Harry kept his hold on her cheek, using his other hand to place on her hip as he crawled on top of her. His hand was warm and big and his fingertips pressed into her skin sending a joint of electricity down through her body. 

They kissed and Harry groaned as Y/N uncontrollably rolled her hips into him, “Harry,” Y/N repeated, placing her hands on his chest.

“What baby?” He asks.

“I-I feel strange,” She confesses, not really knowing how to go about telling him what was on her mind.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, “What’s wrong?”

Y/N shook her head immediately, “N-no nothing’s wrong. It’s just… Remember last time? When you…” she couldn’t seem to finish her sentence, too embarrassed to describe what Harry had done when he taught her how to touch herself.

“What about it?” He wonders, patience and curiosity on his face.

“I-I want to do it again but different.” She cringed at her words, “I mean, I want to try something new. L-like I want you to show me something new I mean.” 

Harry’s features softened, “Yeah? You want me to take care of you huh?”

Y/N nodded, relieved he understood what she was hinting at without her having to admit it herself, “Yes.”

“What do you want me to do baby?” He kisses down the side of her neck, Y/N’s head rolling to the side to give him more room to explore her skin.

“I-I don’t know,” 

“Oh I think you do flower otherwise you wouldn’t be asking for something new to try would you?” He sucks on the skin of her neck and she whines at the feeling. His green eyes meet hers as he lifts his head up, “C’mon sweet girl, tell daddy what you want from him.” 

Her mouth fell open and her heart beat erratically in her chest, “I-I need you down there daddy.” 

“Yeah? You want daddy to touch you down there baby?” 

“Y-yes daddy please.”

“Still so polite.” Y/N seemed to melt as he crawled down her placid form, he could do anything to her and she wouldn't mind as long as he was touching her in some way.

She suddenly gasped when she felt him blow warm air onto her nipple beneath her vest. “Can I lift your vest baby? Can you let daddy see these cute tits?” 

“Mhm,” She hummed, her body vibrating with excitement and nerves. Harry’s fingertips brushed the skin of her tummy as he pulled her vest up to reveal her breasts. 

“Fuck baby,” Harry groaned. “You’re so beautiful.” 

“Your shirt too!” Y/N insisted, feeling a little insecure as Harry was still in his white shirt.

Harry was quick to pull off his shirt to reveal his tattooed torso that Y/N had traced and slept on almost every night since they had met. Her hands were immediately on his warm skin as he kissed down the swell of her breasts. Y/N gasped as Harry gently pressed a kiss to her left nipple, sliding his other hand up to cup her other one, “See that? Y’ were made for daddy.” He said as her breast fit perfectly in his hand. 

“Daddy I need you,” Y/N whispered.

“Such a greedy girl.” He tuts, “Trying to worship you ‘n you’re just begging me to make you cum.” 

“N-no-” Y/N wanted to argue but Harry quickly kissed her lips before moving down her body. 

“Look at these pretty panties. Can already see you’re all soaked through them.” Y/N could practically hear the smile on his face. “Can I see baby?” 

“Y-Yes, daddy.” She swallowed back her nerves, even though Harry had already seen her down there, it was her first time experiencing someone be so up close. Y/N felt his fingers hook around the waistband of her panties until they were halfway down her thighs and waited for him to react.

“Fuck me,” Harry hisses. “Won’t ever get over the sight of this pretty pussy. Always manage to live up to y’ nickname, don’t y’ flower?” 

Y/N’s cheeks heat but before she has time to protest Harry leans forward and presses a kiss to her throbbing pussy. She snaps her thighs shut tightly and gasps, “W-what-“

“Shhh flower,” Harry kisses her knee and then gently hooks both her legs over either of his shoulders so she can’t close her thighs to hide away from him, “Daddy’s gonna take the ache away okay? Know you’ve been feeling all needy for daddy. Gonna do something that’ll help and put you right to sleep m’kay?”

Y/N swallows harshly and fists the fabric of the blanket beneath her. Her heart was racing and her belly was swirling with need and desire as she waited for Harry to do something.

He kissed the inside of her thighs, “You trust me?” He asked, waiting for her approval, “Because I’ll stop as soon as you say so, promise y’ that.” 

“Yes, daddy.” She said because she did trust him, wholeheartedly, “I trust you.”

“That’s m’ girl.” Y/N waited until she felt his warm breath blow over her pussy. His mouth pressed another kiss to her before she felt his tongue swipe across her slit. Y/N gasped at the unfamiliarity of it as he flicked his tongue softly over her to get her accustomed to it. His eyes looked up to see Y/N’s reaction at the first touch of his mouth. He smirked to himself as her breasts heaved cutely and her cheeks were flushed pink. 

“Harry,” she whimpered.

“S not my name flower.” He murmured against her. 

She tried to close her thighs but Harry’s head lay buried between them, licking and stroking his tongue against her. He wrapped both his tattooed hands around her thighs to keep them open, pressing his fingertips into her plushy skin. “Daddy,” she whined.

He licks up her wet cunt once more until he finds her clit. Y/N jolts at the sudden attention to her sensitive bundle of nerves. His lips pucker against her tiny, pink clit glistening with arousal, a whimper eliciting from Y/N’s lip. He moves his tongue in circles around it before gently sucking on the small bud.

Y/N’s a writhing, whimpering mess beneath him as he licks and sucks on her clit, her wetness coating his chin. She bucks her hips against his mouth and quickly removes one hand from the bed to weave into his hair. Harry groans as she tugs on his curls, his cock leaking precum in his trousers, the vibrations going straight to Y/N’s clit. 

“Daddy, f-feels so good,” She mewls, continuing to tug on his hair. Harry ruts his hips against the mattress, in hopes he could get some relief as he continues his assault on her pussy. 

“Y' so fucking sexy Y/N.” He grumbled, unable to stop his attention from her weeping, little cunt.

Her thighs began to tremble as she felt the coil tighten in her belly. Harry’s hand removed itself from her thigh and slid up the bed to reach for her hand that wasn’t already in his hair. He intertwined their fingers as if comforting her without saying anything. 

He paused his assault on her clit, Y/N whimpering at the sudden loss. Instead, he flattened his tongue against her once more before dipping his tongue into her hole a little as if testing the waters to see whether she’d like it. Y/N’s back arched and Harry’s hand left hers to place itself flat against her tummy to hold her still, the cool metal of his rings made her shiver as they touched her skin. His tongue delved in and out of her, using his other hand to rub circles on her clit with his thumb.

Y/N’s mouth fell open, her head fell back and her legs turned to jelly. “Y close angel girl?” Harry murmured, peeking up at her to see her blissfully zoned out from his touch. 

“Feels s’ good daddy, s-so so so good,” She babbled her head lolling from side to side. 

“Wanna cum baby? Wanna make a mess on daddy?” He urged her, feeling her core clench. 

She jerkily nodded, “Mhmmm,” She hummed. 

“Lemme have it, baby, daddy worked so hard, lemme taste y’ cum.” He hastened his movements on her clit and continued to lick and suck at her pussy, “Cum f’ me baby.” He coaxed. "Can't wait to feel y' round my cock someday, practically begging to feel y' tight, little hole. 'm gonna be the first and only one to fill y' up, isn't that right? Gonna let daddy stretch you out and fill y' up. You're all mine, 'm favourite flower."

His filthy words set Y/N alight. She felt the coil snap as pleasure rushed through her entire body and filled all of her senses. Harry groaned, continuing to press himself up against the bed until he felt his own orgasm building too, his lips staying on Y/N as she came. He lapped up her juices, riding her through her orgasm and tasting all she had to offer for the first time. “That’s my girl baby, so good.” He cooed. 

Harry’s eyes rolled back as his cock released inside of his boxers, his head falling to the side and resting on the inside of her thigh as he breathed heavily, “Fuck,” He groaned, eyes rolling to the ceiling. 

The room was quiet other than the sounds of them trying to catch their breath. Harry kissed the inside of Y/N’s thigh and worked his way up her body, placing soft, spongy kisses on her bare skin until he was face-to-face with her. 

Harry grinned lazily, his eyes tired as he brushed the hair off her face. His heart stuttered; he felt himself losing his breath all over again despite having just come down from the high of his release as he looked down at his girlfriend. Her cheeks were flushed and her skin was glowing from the afterglow, tendrils of baby hairs framed her face and her eyes were hazy and soft as she looked into his own. 

“Thank you daddy,” She whispered to him. 

Harry pressed a kiss to her lips. Her legs hooked around his waist as he circled his arms around her to pull her in tighter, “You okay? Was that good? Not too much?” He wanted to make sure she was okay before anything else. He’d hate himself if he did something she didn’t like or didn’t want to do. 

“M okay,” She smiled, her voice tired. He kissed her once more knowing she could probably taste herself on his lips. “It felt good.” 

“Y’ made me cum,” He admits, feeling the discomfort of his own release in his boxers. 

“I did?” Y/N’s eyes widened, her lips parting in surprise. 

“Yeah, flower. That was so fucking sexy.” Y/N whined and tried to hide herself behind her hands. Harry chuckled at her reaction, grabbing her wrists to move her hand away and kissing her forehead before lifting himself from her. “Let’s get y’cleaned up.” 

Harry walked over to Y/N’s dresser to grab himself some clean boxers from the drawer he had curated from the nights he had spent with her. He also grabbed her some clean underwear and one of his shirts to wear to bed. 

In the bathroom, he got himself cleaned up and grabbed a cloth dampening it under the running water in the sink for his love who was waiting for him in bed. Harry paused at the door when he entered her room after he was met with a sight he longed to treasure in his mind forever. Y/N was lying completely bare on her bed. Her eyes were shut, her chest moving up and down and her hair was sprawled out around her. He didn’t know how he got so lucky with her, she was a living angel.

“C’mere flower,” He murmured, spreading her legs apart slightly and trying not to react to the sticky, glistening mess between her thighs. He placed the dampened cloth against her and calmed her down as she jolted beneath his touch from how sensitive she was. 

Once they were all cleaned up, Harry climbed under the blankets with Y/N half asleep against his chest. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and ran a finger up and down the length of her spine beneath her shirt.  "Sleep now, flower," he whispered his voice a gentle caress in the quiet of the night. The warmth of his presence soothed Y/N to fall asleep. 

In the hazy blur of her consciousness, she murmured, words slipping from her lips without thought. "Love you," she breathed, the three words escaping her lips as effortlessly as a sigh, yet she remained unaware of what they meant. 

Harry stilled, his breath catching in his throat, “W-what?” But Y/N didn’t reply, instead, soft snores left her lips as she fell asleep beside him. 

. . .

It was the Friday after Harry had taken Y/N to the beach. Fridays were always busy at the tattoo shop so Harry was working away until the late hours of the evening. Y/N sat on a chair, her legs swinging backwards and forward as she played a game on Harry's phone. The sound of the tattoo gun hummed in the air whilst a bossa nova played over the Bluetooth speaker. Harry was still working despite the fact it was nearly time for Y/N to go to bed (She had a strict regime before bed which gave her exactly eight hours of sleep each night). He had promised her this would be his last customer as she waltzed into his tattoo shop, ready to go to his apartment together.

Harry hadn't mentioned to Y/N what she had unknowingly said in her sleep. When they woke up the next morning, he gently broached the subject, asking, "Hey, do you remember anything you said last night while you were asleep?"

Y/N, still rubbing the sleep from her eyes, just shrugged in response. "Not really," she mumbled, her voice heavy with drowsiness. "Did I say something strange?"

"No, not at all," Harry assured her, though inwardly, he couldn't shake off the weight of her words. "Just thought you might've had a dream or something." But even as he spoke, he couldn't shake off the lingering memory of her whispered confession, playing over and over in his mind like a sweet melody. 

"Y' holding up okay there m'love?" Harry checked in, working on the final few finishing touches of the tattoo he had been working on.

"Mhm," She smiled but Harry could tell she was getting sleepy from the way he'd caught her eyes fluttering shut when he glanced over at her.

"Can go sleep on the couch out front if you're feeling sleepy." He offered, wanting to make sure his girl was okay before he finished off the tattoo for his customer. He knew first-hand how grouchy she got when she didn't get her sleep.

"M okay here Harry," She insisted, thinking she was lying to him well enough over how tired she was. "Can I watch?" She strained her neck to get a better look at what Harry was doing.

"Course flower, c'mere," Harry pushed his chair forward to give Y/N space to stand behind him so she could watch over his shoulder. He pushed down on the peddle and continued the tattoo as Y/N watched over him.

"Does it hurt?" She wondered, watching the needle press ink into the customer's skin.

"Jus' a little sting but when you've had so many it's not so bad," Harry replied.

Y/N watched in fascination. She was not only impressed by the design Harry had drawn out and tattooed to the customer so effortlessly but also how brave people must be to have such a permanent mark on their skin. She tilted her head to the side, "I want one," She mumbled.

Harry paused, "What?"

"Nothing," She replied, quickly.

Harry had heard what she said but decided he'd bring it up when there wasn't another person in the room, knowing how shy she got around people she didn't know.

After completing the tattoo, he wrapped it up and chatted with the customer for a little bit. Meanwhile, Y/N browsed through his tattoo design sketchbook with a furrowed brow. Once the conversation was done, he shut the door behind the customer and turned the sign to 'closed.'

He walked over to his seemingly overthinking flower and kissed the top of her head, "Wha's wrong m'love?" He smiled softly, wrapping both arms around her and pulling her into his chest.

"Jus' looking H," She tilted her head back to look up at him, kissing his chin in the process.

"Didn't know we were telling fibs tonight flower," He teased, spinning her around in his embrace.

"M not lying," She hid her face in his chest because he always knew when she was lying and she was most definitely lying.

"Can you look up f'me baby just f' a sec," He murmured and looked down to see the prettiest eyes he'd ever seen, round and sparkling under the blue lights of his shop. "Woah," He whispered to himself.

"What's wrong?" A crease appeared in between her brows.

"Nothin' just...you're so pretty," She whined, nuzzling her face into his neck to hide her very red face. Even though it was hard to tell under the blue lights, he knew she was blushing. "Hey, no, can I have a kiss please?" He cupped the back of her head and pulled her away from the comfortable spot in his neck.

Y/N stood on her toes to kiss him, tasting the tinge of eucalyptus lip balm she had given him when he had complained of having sore lips from kissing her too much in the colder weather. "So y' want a tattoo?" He murmured against her lips.

Y/N pulled away, "I-I was just thinking but-"

"You're not sure?" She nods. "Don't have to get a tattoo today m'love, especially if you're not sure." Harry comforted her, seeing the uncertainty on her face. He kissed the crease between her eyebrows but her eyes were fixed on a tattoo on his upper arm.

"Where'd you get that?" She asked, her fingers skimming over the small design. It was a fine line drawing of a pair of angel wings with a flower in the centre between each wing. Harry had designed it not long after meeting Y/N and had only tattooed the design onto himself a few days ago.

"Jus' a little something I drew 's all." He shrugged, "Reminded me of you."

Y/N's lips parted like she couldn't believe what he had just said, "For me?"

He nods, "Wanted to have you somewhere on me at all times."

Y/N goes quiet and Harry gives her the time to think as he packs away his things to head upstairs. By the time he's finished, Y/N's tugging on his sleeve and looking up at him with rounded eyes, "I think I'd like a tattoo, Harry."

Harry bit back a smile, "You do?"

"Mhm," She nodded, seeming sure of herself, "But I want you to do it."

"Wouldn't let anyone else do it anyways flower." He pulled out the kit he had just put away, not feeling annoyed in the slightest because he loved this girl and would set up his equipment all over again even if she decided she no longer wanted the tattoo anymore.

Y/N shimmied up onto the chair and glanced over at him, "What are you wanting on you baby?" He asked.

"I want the same one as you please Harry," She says, referring to the tattoo of the angel wings.

He smiles, "Wanna match with me, sweet girl?" He kisses her lips quickly.

Y/N nods, beaming up at him, "Yes please."

"So polite," He taps her cheek before going to his worktop and drawing out a stencil with a careful hand.  Y/N sat in the chair with her feet hovering above the ground. She was fiddling with her fingers in her lap as she glanced around at the designs she had admired many times before when she'd sit and wait for Harry whilst he worked.

"M'kay lovie, where'd you want it?" Harry asked.

"Oh," She pursed her lips, "I didn't think that far."

"Didn't think that far?" Harry chortled, "How about on your arm?” He squeezed her arm softly above the crease of her elbow, "Won't hurt too bad if we do it here."

"Okay Harry," She nodded, trusting him implicitly. Harry wanted to smother her in kisses with the way she was looking at him like she would do anything he said without even questioning it.

Harry prepped everything, making sure he had all he needed to start the tattoo. He went a little slower than he normally would, wanting to give her enough time to make sure she was certain about getting the tattoo. He mixed up the ink and switched on the tattoo gun as Y/N lay back against the leather chair.

"Y' okay flower?" Harry checked again, expecting to get the same answer he had already gotten only for her to chew on her lip and scrunch up the fabric of the skirt she was wearing.

"M a little nervous," She admitted, blushing.

"Hey it's okay to be nervous," He cooed, dropping the equipment and rolling over to her on his chair. He leaned against the seat she was lying in so his face was up close to hers, he brushed a few strands of hair from her face and the feeling of his hands calmed the nerves Y/N was feeling. "It'll hurt a little bit. Some people say it feels like a little like a tiny scratch but you get used to the feeling."

"But what if you start and then I don't want it anymore because it hurts?" She realises she should have asked these questions before they had gotten this far.

"Tha's why you need to be sure you want it sweet girl. Don't wanna see you in pain either but it's a small tattoo so won't take long and it's on your arm which means it hurts a little bit less." Harry explained.

"Okay," She nodded, "B-but can you distract me a little? It'll help if you distract me."

Harry smiled, kissing her lips, "Can distract you any way you want, baby. Here," He removed the dog tag necklace he wore all the time without failure and handed it to her, "Can fiddle with this while I draw on you."

Y/N felt her shoulders relax a little as she felt the cool metal in her hands, "Okay Harry." His lips pressed against her forehead, "Okay Y/N." He grinned.

Harry pulled on some gloves and got the tattoo gun running. Y/N went stiff as the humming sound filled the room but she reminded herself of Harry's words and continued to play with his necklace. "Okay, ready baby?" He gave her one last kiss for comfort and then, when she nodded her head, the needle made contact with her skin.

She gasped as the tiny needle pricked at her skin. It wasn't as painful as she thought it was going to be but it wasn't comfortable either. She tried to relax but her muscles were all tensed up.

Harry tried to comfort her as best as she could. Whispering words of encouragement, "So good baby, y' so brave." He'd say and tell her it would be over in a moment even though a moment felt like an eternity in her mind.

"Is it over yet?" She was starting to feel the discomfort and was already waiting for it to finish.

"Almost angel," He cooed and finished up the final lines of the drawing. "There we go, all finished."

Y/N let out a long breath she didn't know she was holding and immediately her eyes flickered down to the tattoo Harry had drawn on her. She was in awe of how beautiful and intricate the design was and how quickly Harry had managed to draw it so perfectly. It was a perfect size on her arm, the angel wings matched exactly the same as the ones Harry had done on himself. She almost squealed with how happy she was with her first ever tattoo and how it was a permanent reminder of her sweet and loving boyfriend.

Harry grinned as he watched her face light up when she saw the tattoo, "'Y like it?" He asked, preparing the cream and wrap to put on it before she did something that would get it infected - they both knew she would do that if he wasn't careful.

"I love it, Harry!" She grinned, her smile lighting up the whole room.

Harry laughed at her happiness, "You're welcome baby." He applied the cream and wrapped it up before she could move anywhere. Instead of leaping out of the chair, she wrapped her arms around Harry and pressed her lips to his. He hummed, "Best tip I've ever gotten." He murmured.

"I kinda want another one," She couldn't stop looking down at her tattoo and taking in how pretty it was.

"Woah, slow down there flower, think you should wait a while until the next one." He repressed a smile. "But I'll happily draw up another one f'you."

"Okay Harry," She said, not really paying much attention to him.

"Alright c'mon, le's go upstairs. Wanna kiss you in bed if tha's okay." He quickly put all of his equipment away as Y/N gawked at her tattoo.

"I think I'd love that more than the tattoo," She sighed. Harry decided not to pull her up on the fact she was probably telling another fib. 

. . .

"Y/N is that a tattoo!" One of her friends, Shakira, spoke out.

It had been two weeks since Y/N had gotten her first tattoo and she still wasn't over how pretty it was. Every morning she'd wake up and look at her arm and tell Harry how good of a job he did.

"No wonder you're a tattoo artist Harry!" She'd say, to which he'd just smile and sit patiently as she rambled about how much she loved her tattoo and how she wanted him to draw her another one.

"Oh yes!" Y/N rolled up the sleeve of her pyjama shirt so her friends could get a better look, "Harry did it. Isn't it pretty?" She sighed, thinking of her boyfriend who she hadn't seen since this morning.

Y/N had planned a slumber party at her place a few weeks ago since she hadn't seen her two friends, Shakira and Layla, in forever. She'd known them since high school and were the only two friends she really had other than Harry who was also her best friend. 

Harry had promised he'd stay away and give her some much needed girly time. Although Y/N didn't like the idea of being away from Harry, she knew it was needed. He had some things he needed to do anyway and she wanted to give him space to do that too.

"Do you think he could do one for me?" Layla asked, her arm already littered with small tattoos.

"I can ask him for you if you'd like," Y/N offered, receiving a nod from Layla.

"What's it like being in a relationship?" Shakira asked, "I mean Harry seems the complete opposite of you, I'd never have pictured you together."

Y/N smiles, thinking back to their first interaction and how intimidated she was by him. Now she couldn't get enough of him, wanting to be with him and touch him whenever she could. "I know but Harry's... I don't know, he's not like how people assume. He's kind, caring and lovable. We have a lot more in common than most people think and even the things we don't have in common, Harry always listens to the things I have to say even when he doesn't completely understand."

"Awwww!" Y/N blushed when she realised she had been rambling too much again.

"You're so cute Y/N," Layla grinned. "And we're so happy for you. Harry seems like a great guy."

"He is," Y/N agreed, shyly.

"Have you said I love you yet?" Shakira smirked.

Y/N's smile faltered, "N-not yet..." She looked away from their gazes, "But I think I'm just waiting for the right time. Harry always has these moments where I think he's going to say it but he never does and part of me thinks he's still questioning it." Y/N admits.

Layla offers her a sympathetic gaze, "I'm sure he's just waiting for the perfect moment to tell you Y/N. Saying I love you can be a pretty big deal for some people."

"I know," Y/N nods in agreement, "And I'll wait for him, however long it takes."

Y/N spent the remainder of the evening gossiping and watching movies with her two best friends. Now and then, she would look down at her phone just in case Harry had sent her anything but nothing appeared other than a blank screen. She couldn't help but feel a little bit deflated that he hadn't checked in on her like he usually would but she quickly pushed the feeling away. Harry had other things he was doing, she'd see him later.

"Thank you for having us Y/N! It was so good to see you, we need to do it again sometime," Y/N stood at the door to say goodbye to her friends. It was nearing midnight and she wondered if Harry was in his apartment waiting for her.

"Thank you for coming! I missed you guys," Y/N chirped, she really did miss having her girlfriends around. She was so busy with work and spending time with Harry, that she rarely had time outside of those things. But after today, she was going to make it a priority to see her friends again.

"See you later Y/N!" Her friends waved as they walked down the steps from her apartment. Y/N smiled and waved until they were out of sight. She planned on calling Harry to check in on him and see if he was alright but a crash from his apartment halted her steps.

She paused, stilling herself so she could hear a little better. Another thud came from his apartment followed by a string of curses and something that sounded like a clutter of things falling on the floor.

"Harry?" Y/N called through the door but received no response. "Harry, are you okay? It's me, it's Y/N."

"Y/N," Harry's voice murmured through the door. Y/N relaxed a little at the sound of his voice but she was still worried about him. It wasn't normal for him to keep his distance from her like this.

"Harry, are you okay?" She rested her hand on the doorknob, preparing to open it so she could see him with her own eyes.

"I-I'm fine baby. Go t' sleep m'love. I'll be there in a little while," Y/N frowned when she heard him wheezing a little as he breathed between words. He spoke much too slowly compared to his usual drawl as though it was too much work for him to speak.

"Harry please, jus' wanna see you." She tries again, hoping he'll open the door.

"Promise I'll be there t' give you your kisses baby but I jus' need... a moment," Y/N's face fell.

"H-Harry you're scaring me," She said, quietly.

Harry was on the other side of the door, clutching onto his side. He was already hurting but hearing his angel begging to come in was killing him. He couldn't leave her out there. She looked the perfect remedy to his currently aching body when he looked through the peephole of his door and saw her already in her pyjamas, looking all snuggly and cute.

"Not tryin' t' scare you, dove. Please I'll be out in a minute." He hoped she would listen like she normally would. He needed enough time to clean up as best as he could so he could return to her- looking like the Harry she knew- but she wasn't having it, reminding him of just how stubborn she could be when she wanted to. 

"Harry, I-I'm gonna open the d-door. I have to see if you're okay," She spoke, clearly and carefully.

Harry looked down as the doorknob twisted. He wanted to twist the key and lock it to keep her out but he lost control of his own mind as he stepped back and allowed her to push the front door open.

He stood under the dim light of his living room. He had been meaning to get the lightbulb fixed but he'd been spending too much time at Y/N's apartment to remember.

Her eyes went from his feet all the way up to meet his face. Her lips parted and her eyes started to water, his heart ached at the sight. "No baby," He stepped forward, pulling her into him and holding her to his chest even though it ached to do so.

"H-Harry," She whispered, her voice cracking, "What happened?"

She pulled back and cupped one of his cheeks in her small hand. Harry's eyes fluttered shut at the sensation, he could have sworn every ounce of pain lifted from her touch alone. "Was out with a friend, you know, the one who deals," He explained, referring to Mike who Y/N had met. He didn't want to hide from her and she already knew he smoked weed regularly so it was no surprise to her when he told her he'd been smoking, "We pulled over so he could drop something off but I guess the customer got a little aggressive. He was probably on something but he was refusing to pay I think Mike said. I was in the car and all I saw was this guy trying to swing at him. I ran out to help him and we managed to get away before he had the chance to do anything worse but he obviously managed to get a good few hits in before."

Harry hadn’t remembered the last time he had gotten into a fight other than when he was a teenager just after his parents got divorced. He had managed to get a few punches in, making his knuckles all red and cut up, but he'd also been the victim of a few hits too. He had a black eye, a busted lip and a pounding headache from the impact of the punch he had received.

"Harry," Y/N choked on a sob, "Y-you could have been seriously h-hurt,"

"I know baby, I know." He cradled her head in his arms as she wrapped her arms around him, not squeezing too tight because she knew he was in pain. "But 'm here now."

Her eyes were red-rimmed as she looked at him, "You were helping Mike?" She asked.

"'s all I was doing baby, promise." He hated how worried she looked so he was willing to do anything to comfort her until she knew he was okay.

She pulled away, "W-where are you hurting?" She looks down as if checking him for any more bruising. He could see her visibly starting to panic, her hands shaking and her chest moving up and down rapidly.

"Hey, c'mere, c'mon now." He picked her up and brought her over to the couch, "M okay sweet girl, nothing to worry about anymore. Calm down f' me, please. Hate seeing you in a panic." He uttered to her, rocking her back and forth with her face buried in his neck. 

"You're all b-bruised," She whimpered, "Y-you must be in so much pain."

"Not anymore my love. Hmmm, my flower is here, takin' all m' pain away aren't you dove?" He kissed her shoulder.

"C-can I help you?" She whispered, eyes blotchy and red from crying a little.

"Wanna patch up m' bruises love?" She nods as if there was nothing else she'd rather do than be there for him. "Alright, le's go to the bathroom and y' can help me." He carried her to the bathroom and placed her on the counter near the sink. He grabbed a first aid kit from the cabinet under the sink and handed it to her. "Didn't know m' girlfriend was a little nurse." He smirked, a blush covering her cheeks.

Harry stood between her legs with his hands on the counter on either side of her. He watched her as she cleaned the cuts and treated the bruise covering his eye. He smiled when the tip of her tongue stuck out between her lips, "Be careful, I'll bite that tongue." He teased.

Y/N squeaked hiding her tongue away, but quickly composed herself, "You're not getting anywhere near my tongue mister." She sasses and Harry grins so wide, his cheeks hurt.

"No? You don't think I deserve a kiss baby? M in so much pain." He hides his face in her neck and presses spongy kisses on her soft skin.

Y/N giggles at the ticklish sensation, trying to push him away, "No, you can't, not until I patch you up and you stop getting into fights."

"Actin' like I get into fights every other weekend baby," He smirks, "Only f' you."

Her mouth opens and closes as she tries to figure out what to say in such a flustered state from his words. He takes the opportunity to kiss her, their lips pressing together under the low light of the bathroom. He hadn't seen her since this morning and had been missing her all day but knew she needed some time with her girlfriends without him smothering her. It didn't stop him from glancing at his phone now and then to see if she'd called him, just like she had done.

The small time they spent away from each other during the day made him all the more desperate to kiss her. He cradled both her cheeks in his hand, brushing his thumb over her cheekbones. She wrapped her arms around his neck and played with the baby strands of hair on the nape of his neck. "Missed you," She murmured when their lips parted.

"Missed y' too flower." He hummed, "Don't know what's wrong w' me to want you this bad." His hands travelled down her arms, his fingers brushing over her tattoo as he slid past it before he intertwined their fingers together. “Think m just a teeny bit in love with y’ to be honest.” He confessed. 

And suddenly they were both existing outside of their own bodies.

"W-what?" Y/N's eyes glazed over.

“Oh shit.” Harry cusses, squeezing his eyes shut, his face scrunching in frustration, “Wasn’t meant to be this way flower.” 

“Y-you love me?” Her bottom lip quivered, her brain not quite believing what she was hearing. 

Harry's heart was racing as he looked her in the eyes, "I love you." The words left his mouth and had never felt so right or so freeing. He couldn't understand why now of all moments was the time to finally say it but a piece of himself felt whole and all the pain from his body had left as he told her the three words that had been trapped in his throat for so long.

Y/N's mind whirred as she processed Harry's words. The air seemed to thicken around them, and for a moment, time hung suspended. She searched his eyes for any sign of hesitation, but all she found was sincerity and vulnerability. "You do?" She whimpered.

"Oh no flower, don't cry. Hate seeing tears in those pretty eyes," He began to wipe them away as soon as they fell from her eyes.

"I'm sorry," She blubbered, "I never imagined... I never imagined someone could feel this way about me," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Never thought I'd be in love either but here we are," He chuckled, "Love you so much, m'favourite flower." He rubbed their noses together.

Y/N's pouty lips sprouted into a beautiful smile, "I love you too Harry, more than anyone in the whole world."

"Y’ already told me that once before." He smiled, a mixture of adoration and a touch of amusement dancing in his eyes. 

“I did?” She frowned. 

“Mhm,” Harry nodded, “Before you fell asleep, you mumbled it and told me you loved me and when you woke up y’ didn’t remember.” 

“Really?” She couldn’t help but feel embarrassed knowing she admitted something so big in her sleep.

“Honestly,” Harry told her, “Think y’ were probably dreaming or something.”

“Is this a dream? Feels like it,” Y/N whispers. 

“S most certainly not a dream m’love.” Harry kissed her quickly, “Gonna love you forever I think.” 

She leant forward, running her fingers through his hair as his head fell back. He hummed at the feeling, biting on his lip to stop himself from smiling so much before burying his face in the crook of her neck - in the place he loved so much. "Promise." He whispered, lips ghosting her skin.

Their fingers traced lazy patterns on each other's skin, a silent communication between them. The room was filled with the hushed whispers of their love, as if time had slowed down so they could savour the sweetness of this very moment.

Y/N yawned which made the corner of Harry's lips turn upwards, "Y' done fixing me up now? Wanna go t' bed love?" She nodded, wrapping herself around him. He reminded himself to clean away the first aid kit in the morning, his priority was getting his girl some much-needed sleep.

She curled into him when they lay in his small bed, her head resting on his chest right where her heart was. She played with his hair and he ran a hand up and down her bare back underneath her pyjama shirt, "I love you," She murmured into the quiet.

He hoped she could hear his heart beat a little faster at her words, "I love you s' much, flower. With everything in me, gonna be mine forever y'are." He mumbled the words into her ear. 

Harry cupped the side of her face as her tired, glossy eyes looked at him with so much love and adoration, that he didn’t know what to do with it all. In the dimly lit room, they leaned in close, their breath mingling as their lips met in a gentle, passionate kiss. His hands found her waist, pulling her closer, while hers tangled in his hair. They explored each other's mouths, lost in the heat of the moment, their bodies pressed together. Each kiss was filled with longing and desire, igniting a fire between them that burned brighter with every touch.

“I’ve never loved anyone before,” Y/N whispered to him. 

“Really?” Harry smiled. 

“You’re my first love.” Y/N has to bite her lip to stop herself from smiling so wildly but Harry tugs her lip with his thumb and suddenly her smile is so wide her cheeks turn pink.

“You’re my first and only love.” He murmured. 

She liked that and she loved him. 

This was exactly where they were both meant to be —with the person who had become not only their first love but their forever love too. 

A flower tattooed to his heart.

[spitefulverse]

Pollito / Miguel O’hara

Summary: Your learning a bit of Spanish for Miguel, sure you aren’t great, but you find a new word and you just have to tell him.

Warnings: pure fluff, cussing, established relationship. NOT PROOFREAD, just a blurb, like not even a fic. Please bear with me for the first couple of paragraphs I promise I know what pollito means

When you were learning some more Spanish today, you didn’t expect one of the things you would see would be the word for little chickie, pollito, and immediately, you had to tell Miguel how adorable that is.

You were quick to run to his room, past various Spider-Man. The second you reached his door, you banged on it, however didn’t give him a second to answer, just walking in. “Miggy!”

“Holy shit- you cannot just barge in-“ he stood in the centre of the room, almost seeming ready to attack, you simply grabbed his arm, smiling.

“Yeah yeah, you know during my Spanish lesson, well I learnt some new stuff, like important stuff, but guess what!” You bounced excitedly, squeezing his bicep.

“What? Muneca” He sighed, reluctant to even know, his eyes half lidded, looking very unimpressed.

“There’s a word for little chickie!” You grinned, leaning your head on his arm and he sighed, shaking his head.

“Yeah, I know ‘pollito’ but it also just means chick, sometimes we use it to talk about like attractive people or mothers call their children it, and it’s very similar to ‘pollo’ which is just chicken- what- why is this exciting?” He asks, his other hand tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear as you huffed. His eyes flickering over your face, smiling at your reactions.

“Because it’s adorable, duh, your raining on my thunder” you poked his arm “I just thought it was cute”

“But it’s the same as chick-“

“So!!”

“Okay!! Okay, mami its adorable, I appreciate you learning Spanish so very much” he kissed your nose “but, we have a lot of words”

“Yeah yeah..mi pollito” you mumbled under your breath. Turning away from him, letting go of his arm. “What did you just call me? That’s not funny, nor is it cute” He crosses his arms.

“You heard me.. mi pollito” you smiled mischievously and he snickered, rolling his eyes playfully. “No way, I am not allowing that, if anything your mi pollito” he argued.

“Oh so you agree, it’s an adorable pet name”

“No- it just can be used as a term of endearment..fine okay baby it’s kind of cute but mostly, it’s just a common word that can mean many things, tone of voice preciosa ” he sighed, taking your hand, pulling you back to him and pressing his lips to yours for a second before looking at you.

“Now stop barging in here and go learn some Spanish, mi pollito” he nudged you towards the door, playfully smacking your ass as you walked by him.

“You wouldn’t do that to your little chickie!”

“It means chick!” He yelled back but you had already slammed the door, skipping off to god knows where.

[askinkiskarma]

thinking of this

but also thinking of a somewhat hilarious scenario of neteyam faintly remembering jake awkwardly teaching him and lo'ak the many ways humans can pleasure a woman and so neteyam asks if he can put it into practice (oral, f receiving) and eventhough he's a bit awkward at first he gets spurred on by the praises (neteyam 100% has a praise kink) he's getting, so like the overachiever that he is, he pays attention to the reader's advice and teaching but also the smallest signs from her body that he's doing good

and staying true to his golden boy title, he's actually fucking good at it in first try

maybe this scenario dump can be.. the next part of the series? 👀 all up to you bae <3 ily

part II of my inexperienced neteyam series x

part I (x)

..because the gift of reciprocation can not only be learnt, but returned... many times fold. ;)

wc: 1.6k words

warnings: 18+, minors dni (smut, oral - f receiving, fingering), cursing, strong language

It is a very well known fact among the clan, among his family, and among everyone who knew him, that Neteyam was the best at anything he put his mind to. Not because he was necessarily intrinsically good at everything, but because he always gave every challange a good college try. So after your first... lesson, one which blew Neteyam's mind and soul out of his body, that left him panting and whimpering and desperately needing more, he knew he wanted to be the best at this, too. The best. Your best.

This new all-consuming desire brought back memories, of being a little younger and more innocent, and having to sit through his father's sex ed lessons that he dreaded then, but now came to have a certain... appreciation for. He remembers faintly his father telling him how women have something called a clitoris, and how, if properly stimulated, can allow a girl to experiences unsurmoutable waves of pleasure, and that the best way to do it... is by putting your money where your mouth is... or in this case, putting your mouth where the jackpot is.

It was a sunny and calming day as you were basking in the sun rays that were peering in between the branches of the tall trees surrounding you, and you hummed quietly to yourself in muted contentment, Neteyam laying peacefully in your lap. He loved these moments, between friends who weren't quite friends, the undefined mystery of your relationship one he was dying to solve with every little clue that presented itself to him. The clue today was the soft, flowery scent that you emanated, that flooded his nostrils and his entire being, that begged to be smelled and felt, to be tasted and enjoyed like a ripe fruit on a summer's day.

"I want to learn." he blurts out, having to readjust his head a little as you rose from your position on the grass, your upper body now propped on your elbows, a taunting eyebrow raised and a small smirk blossoming on your face.

"Oh, yeah? And what would you like to learn, Neteyam?"

Ever since that first lesson, you struggled a little, keeping your composure around your friend. Somehow, your dynamic didn't really change, which you were thankful for, but you didn't want to push your luck, so you've waited... waited for him to make the first move, waited for him to decide whether your earlier... lapse in judgement was just that, or something more, something worth repeating. But it's been tough, knowing what you knew now, knowing what hid under his loincloth, knowing you could be showing him all the ways that he could fuck you dumb, the way you wanted, the way you needed... the way you craved. It's been particularly hard today, as his head was rested on your lap, the pressure on your groin leaving you a inadvertent flustered, wet mess. So while his words took you by surprise, it was a welcome surprise, one that you would make sure to enjoy every second of.

"You showed me... how good it can feel, how good you can make me feel. I want to learn... how good I can make you feel." he turned around, so his face was now facing your loincloth, and he pressed a small kiss over it, in between your thighs. You felt yourself clench around nothing and it took everything out of you not to moan at the gesture. You were surprised that he knew enough to ask for this, but excited to learn yourself what other secrets... and skills Neteyam was keeping from you.

"Alright. Let's see. Women, we... enjoy the build-up, the moments leading up to an orgasm maybe just as much as the actual act itself. So start slow... take your time, with caresses and gentle touc-... argh, fuck!" the feel of his tongue on your inner thigh tingled and burned, sending shocks through your system at the unfamiliar feeling, at the way he didn't even let you finish before he tried it for himself, before he already did something right. He positioned himself in between your legs, his head dangerously close to the area you most wanted him in, that he most wanted to be in. He was eager, so eager, and you were happy, as you always were that Neteyam was a dutiful student and masterful learner.

"Like this?" his soft caresses up and down your thighs, accompanied by small, peppered kisses on your lower abdomen were enough to make you pant in anticipation, enough to make the words hushed and breathy, enough to make you want to arch your back to give him better access to your body.

"Y-yes. Like that. Take off my tewng, Teyam. I don't think I'll need it anymore."

He did as he was told, skilled hands hooking in the fabric and undoing it until it was just a mess on the ground, like you hoping you would be soon. His breath hitched in his throat at your sight, at your plump, soaked folds, so soft, so new, so enticing... just like a ripened fruit on a warm summer's day. He only had one thought that reigned above all others, an unadulterated desire to taste you, to lap at the juices that smelled like all his best, wildest dreams come true, so that's what he did. And he realised quickly he must be doing something right when you moaned, your head pushed backwards and chest heaving erratically.

You tasted as good as you smelled, and Neteyam knew instantly he would not be able to live without this feeling, the feeling of your sweetness coating his tongue, of seeing your eyes roll in the back of your head, of the power that came with knowing only he got to see you like this, only he got to have his head in between your thighs and hear the sounds you made when he did.

"Imagine you're kissing someone's lips. Imagine you were kissing me, and it was amazing, and it felt intimate, and good, imagine you want to deepen the kiss, you want to make it last. Imagine that, and then do the same. Kiss me like you mean it, Teyam. Kiss me like you love me. Slowly, gently at first, wild and untamed later."

He let out a growl at your words, and how primal the way his body reacted to them was. He was hard now, rock hard, and he started slowly grinding on the ground to relief some of the overbearing pressure he was feeling. Once again, he was obediently attentive to your words, egged on by the filthy, nasty, beautiful sounds coming out of your pretty mouth, that he couldn't wait give the same treatment to, because fuck, he did mean it, and he did love you. And he would show you in any and every way he knew how, in any and every way he would soon learn, in any way you were willing to show him.

To say you were impressed with your friend would be the understatement of the century, as you were struggling to see straight with the way his tongue glided over your folds, the way he kissed and licked and sucked exactly in the way you wanted and needed, like he had a direct influx to your thoughts, to your body, like he knew it instinctively, like he was born to do this, born to know how to fuck you.

"I need you in me, Teyam. Fuck! I need -.. I need your fingers."

"My fingers?"

"Y-yeah, please! Two fingers, please, Teyam!"

This was no longer a lesson for him, you realised faintly, as it was a desperate attempt to give yourself the release that was so close you can practically touch it, see it, taste it. You didn't expect to cum today, or not for a while, as you taught him the convoluted and often contradictory ways of pleasuring a woman, but here you were, a writhing mess, grinding on his face, begging for more, to be filled by something else than the cock you dreamt about, that you knew you would get drunk on, that you were saving for a different lesson.

The stretch of his long, slender fingers was delicious and oh, so needed, and you squirmed under him at the added stimulation. You were close, and he could tell.

"You can slowly pump your fingers in and out of me... just like that, fuck!"

"Do I make you feel good, tìyawn?" you couldn't tell anymore if he was genuinely asking as a curiosity or because he knew that it would drive you crazy, but right now, you didn't care.

"Do I make you feel as good as you make me feel? Fuck, thinking of your pretty mouth around my cock, how well you felt as you sucked me dry, I just want to make you feel the same way."

"Y-yes, yes, shit! It feels so good, Teyam!"

Your hand found his hair that you entangled with your fingers, pushing his face down until it made contact with your clit, and he smirked as he circled it and sucked on it, continuing to move in and out of you and when, whether out of pure luck or inherent knowledge, he curled his fingers in exactly the right spot, you came, a loud, violent crash of current washing over you, electrifying your every nerve, rippling through your whole body, leaving you a limp, deeply satisfied mess on the ground, just like you wanted to be, like you hoped you would one day be.

"I'm definitely doing that again." he says with a smile, your slick covering his mouth, nose and chin, and you laughed, the insanity of the situation not lost on you, even in your state.

As you were laying on his chest, peering up at the sun once more, you realise you both learned something today. Neteyam learned how to give you head, and you learned that some things can't be taught, and that he really was indeed, good at everything.

taglist: @fanboyluvr @theycallmesia

[heartfeltcierra]

Kid X Insecure Plus Sized Female (Tomboy) reader

Request-Hey Cierra! I wanted to say I love your insecure plus sized reader stories!!!!! I want to request Kid with a insecure plus sized reader who is more on the tom boyish side. Maybe she tries to impress him and it backfires or something to that extent! Thank you

AN-I have been dying to write for this man! Thank you so much I absolutely loved this idea. I really liked the way reader comes across, she is honestly a badass and I love her. Thank you @seafoamxshayde for helping me edit.

Masterlist

Word count- 8.1k

Readers thoughts are in bold and italics

Other Characters- Killer, Heat and Wire

! Contents/Warnings!

Very suggestive themes towards the end(͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖), Violence, Mentions of a burning building, Mentions of weapons, Reader is a weapons specialist, Yelling, Cussing, insecurities regarding femininity and being plus sized, Reader gets humiliated in front of a crowd, Mentions of alcohol consumption, Destructive thoughts.

ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ Enjoy! -Love, Cierra

 “Get up Y/N we're about to port!” Heat shook your body, but you didn’t move a muscle. “Please wake up!”

 “Nooo, I’m sleepy~.” Your groan in your semi awake state. “Gimme five more minutes.” 

 “But you told me to wake you up no matter what.” He gives you a few more nudges. “You said you had something very important you needed to do today, remember?” 

 “I’M UP.” The sleepiness you felt moments ago was replaced by a sense of urgency. Today was the day!  “Thank you, Heat. You're so reliable.”

 “You're welcome.” You see a small blush paint his face. “Killer said to come see him in the kitchen first.” 

 “Gottcha.” Heat leaves your bedroom so you can get ready.

 You throw some comfy clothes on and walk over to your “closet”, but you just call it your mini arsenal.Instead of clothes it's filled with everything from throwing knives, swords, polearms, guns, grenades, bombs and even a few bazookas.

 “Where are you?” Your eyes scan over the insane amount of artillery. “There you are!” You smile and grab the old dagger you’ve deemed your favorite. It was also your first ever weapon. Your crush since childhood and current captain Kid gave it to you years ago saying “You need to defend yourself in case I’m not around.” And you took that to heart. You learnt everything you could about defending yourself. Gradually you dabbled into different weapons, thus creating your obsession.

 But when there is obsession, there is also vast knowledge. You are second to none when it comes to weaponry and you know how to wield just about anything like a pro. Enemies undermine you due to being a bigger girl, but your quick to show them badass comes in many different shapes and sizes.

 You can even do minor repairs to weapons with the help of your captain. He is actually the one who recently redone the handle on your beloved dagger. Kid put so much thought into the fine details. He etched your initials into the side of the handle along with his Jolly Roger, made the hand guard in the shape of a star and to top it off, made a new holster for it. Everytime you look at it reminds you why you're so in love with him. He may be a grouch, but he is your grouch. Well he’s not technically yours, yet. 

 You’ve kept your feelings for him locked away thanks to all of your insecurities. As a fighter you're confident, but as a woman..not so much. You recall a newspaper article titled “New world beauty standards.” According to it most men sailing the Grandline preferred women with hourglass bodies, petite structures, and next to no body fat besides boobs and ass. It also mentioned they preferred women who were cute and in touch with their femininity. You may not be able to change your body size or shape, but the rest of it you can learn.

 “I hope you're ready, Eustass Kid.” You holster the dagger around your thigh and head to the kitchen.

~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

 “Good morning.” You walk into the kitchen to see Killer frying up something. “Whatcha making?”

 “Pancakes, your favorite.” You watch as he flips the pan like a pro. “I figured you’d want to start your day off right considering you're finally fessin up to Kid. That is if you haven’t chickened out...” Killer lays a plate of pancakes in front of you. 

 “I’m not backing down this time, as a matter of fact I'm doing it at tonight's party.” You stab your fork into the pancakes and take a big bite. “Heat told me we would be porting soon. Once we do I’m going to head into town. I need to pick a few things up….. But.”

 “First of all don’t talk with your mouth full and let me guess Y/N.” Killer crosses his arms. “You're broke.”

 “How did you know?” You furrow your brows. 

 “I’ve known you long enough to know your bad spending habits. But I hate to break it to you.” Killer sat down before breaking the bad news. “I’ve got to restock on food and other supplies, meaning I have no extra. Sorry.” Looks like I’ll have to use my back up plan.

 “That’s okay Killer.” You stuff the last bit of pancake in your mouth. “I’ll figure something out.”

 “So what exactly are you going to get anyways?” Killers' questions cause your cheeks to heat up.

 “Well I’m not really sure, but I want to do something special. I figured I’d get a makeover or something in town.” You may not have a master plan, but you're a good improviser.

 “I see. So how are you going to get the money to do that?” The masked man questions, little did he know…..

 “You're not my only piggy bank Killer.” A devious smile forms on your face. “I’ve got a red one too.”

 “What the hell did you just call me?” He may wear a mask, but you didn't need to see his face to know he was pissed. 

 “Uh.. Nothing. Hey look at the time. Gotta got. Thanks for the food!” You jump up from your chair and speed walk out of the kitchen only to run into something hard. 

 “Dammit Y/N!” You look up and see your said red piggy bank and captain giving you a not so nice look. “Watch where you're going.”

 “Oops.” You fight back the urge to snap right back at him, instead you back away and look him up and down. Admiring the view~ “Wow captain, your muscles keep getting bigger and bigger every time I see you. If I’m not careful I'll run into you one day and get sent flying overboard!” You don’t know how to flirt all that well, but you know how to butter Kid up and all it took was a simple compliment. 

 “Shut up.” He snaps his head away from your prying eyes. But judging from the red on the tips of his ears, it worked. “Anyways we are going to be dropping anchor soon. Do you have money?” No but I’m about to~

 “So funny story…” Kid rolls his eyes as you make up an excuse for your lack of cash. “And that’s why I am broke.” 

 “I should have known.” He shoots you a wicked smirk before bending down to your eye level. “You know what Y/N? You keep getting broker and broker every time I run into you.” His metallic hand grabs yours before his flesh hand drops a leather pouch in your palm. “I heard this island has some good weapons shops.” He trails off. “Just don’t go buying something stupid, got it?” 

 “Me, buy something stupid? Never!” A smile forms on your face. Maybe I should call him a ‘Kiddy Bank’. “Thank you.” 

 “Hey captain, we're dropping anchor!” You hear Wire call from the deck. 

 “Okay everyone listen up.” Kid’s voice booms. After giving the crew different tasks Kid dismisses you. Operation doll up Y/N was officially on.

~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

 In town

 After managing to sneak away from the crew you reach the city. It was pretty large and filled with restaurants, bars and plenty of places to shop. You wander around with no rhyme or reason while trying to think of what to get or do. Out of the corner of your eye you spot a newspaper and magazine stand. 

 You look over all of the magazines until one catches your attention. The girl on the front was holding a perfume bottle with big bold letters above it that said “The Granline Beauty Insider.” You open the magazine and skim through it. It was mostly ads for different cosmetics, but it did have some helpful pointers like, “Speak softly and have good posture.” “Wear red, it’s sexy.” “Walk slowly and sway your hips; it drives guys crazy!” “Wear a pair of high heels.” “Buy lingerie.” You slam the magazine shut out of embarrassment. I doubt I’ll need that.

 After walking around and brainstorming you come up with a plan. First thing on your agenda- Buy and learn how to use makeup. You ask a local and they point you towards a cosmetics shop.

~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

 At the cosmetics shop

 “Hello there!” The worker greets you with a wide smile. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

 “Umm yeah actually.” You look around at the overwhelming amount of makeup products. “I’ve never really worn makeup and I don’t know a thing about it.”

 “Oh I see. Well don’t worry!” The worker grabs your hand. “First things first let's find the correct foundation shade you need. Also what color theme are you going for?”

 “Red please.” 

 She ran you all over the store while giving you pointers on how to apply everything she was giving you. You made mental notes on all of the techniques she uses to make a ‘Flawless look’. 

 “I think that’s got all the basics. I’ll take this up to the register and let you look around some more!” You thank the clerk and explore the store on your own.

 A pleasant smell invades your nostrils. You follow said smell until you end up in the perfume section of the store. They have the bottle of perfume the girl on the magazine cover was holding. Apparently it was called ‘Grandline Goddess’. You spray a little on your wrist and get sent straight to heaven. According to the box the notes were flowery orchard, tropical fruit with a hint of musk. You're coming with me.

 “Is this all for you?” You nod at the clerk. “Alright, your total is 7,000 berries.” HUH?!

 “Here you go.” You hand over the cash while holding back a scream. 

 “Thank you! I hope my crash course lesson was helpful!” The clerk hands you the bag.

 “It was. Thank you so much for your help.” She waves you out as you  leave the store. “Holy crap that was expensive!” Lucky for you the pouch Kid gave you was filled to the brim, so you still have quite a bit left.

~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

 The next mission was to find something to wear and a pair of shoes. Most of your closet consisted of sleep clothes, tactical gear and clothes that give you max mobility for fighting. And as far as shoes go you had either boots or sneakers.  

 You window shop trying to find a shop that carries your size. So far most of the shops that had anything cute didn’t carry plus sizes which was a bummer. But when you were at wits end you found a plus sized boutique and the clothes looked cute and stylish. Jackpot.

~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

In the boutique

 “Welcome! If you need any help let me know!” You smile at the clerk before exploring the store. It was amazing how many colors and variations of dresses they have. But one particular dress caught your attention. The shade of red matches perfectly with the makeup you bought and it was in your size. 

 “Can I try this one on?” You hold the dress up, grabbing the clerks attention.

 “Certainly, I’ll show you the fitting rooms. Right this way please.”

 ~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ 

In the fitting rooms

“I’ll be right outside, please let me know if you need help.” The clerk steps out, leaving you alone.

 You do your best to avoid looking in the mirror while undressing. It's sad how taking one look at your body could destroy everything.Your confidence, your mood and self worth could be taken away at a single glance. With a deep sigh you zip the dress up with the help of a hanger. Your fingers smooth the fabric to your body as your face the mirror. You’ve never really thought anything looked good on you, but the dress isn’t half bad. It fits just right and the magazine wasn’t lying when it said red was sexy. 

 “That dress was made for you! You look absolutely marvelous!” The clerk beams the moment you step out of the dressing room. “Do a spin for me!” You smile and spin around in circles and feel something fall off you in the process. “Oh my.” You stop and see your dagger had fallen off and into the floor. Oh crap.

 “My bad haha.” You and the clerk share an awkward laugh. “You know us girls gotta protect ourselves.” You trail off and strap the dagger back to your thigh.

 “Yeah, you're right.” The clerk relaxes. “Anyways I think I have a pair of heels that would look good with the dress. What is your shoe size?” You tell her and she disappears into the store before coming back with a box. She laid the heels in front of you. You put them on, but did not take a step out of fear. You look in the mirror and see she was right, they really tie the outfit together. But the real question was can you walk in them and not kill yourself? For better or worse you trust you can learn. 

 “I’ll take both please!”

~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

 By the time you got done shopping the sun was starting to set. Blue and pink hues fill the sky. You recall Kid mentioning when the sky looks like this at sunset, it was a good omen for smooth sailing. Hopefully that means tonight will go smoothly too.

 “I better head back to the Victoria.” You took a few steps before your mini transponder snail began to ring. “Hello, you have the pleasure of speaking to the one and only Y/N.” 

 “Wow, I’m honored.” Killer voice deadpans. “So change of plans. No party on the ship tonight.” Your jaw almost hits the ground at his words. “Instead Kid wants everyone to meet at the bar near the end of the town in an hour.”

 “Sounds good. I’ll see ya there.” Click. You release a heavy sigh. It was good that there would still be some form of celebration, but you hoped it would be on the ship for the sake of privacy. “It’s going to be okay. You’ve got this Y/N.” You mentally pat yourself on the back. No backing out.

~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

You rush back to the ship and start getting ready. You lay out all of the makeup you bought and start applying it. Despite never having used makeup before, you do a damn good job. Everything was blended well, your eyeshadow was symmetrical and the whole look was overall decent.

 The dress smooths over your body once more. You walk over to the full length mirror by your bathroom and check yourself out. Despite your initial worry, you feel confident and even a little sexy. But something was missing… Jewelry. You dig around in your room until you find the jewelry box you stole from an enemy ship a while back. It of course was filled with stolen jewelry. You go through it until you find something to match your outfit. A golden necklace with a red heart charm catches your eyes. Perfect.

 You put the necklace and earrings on and finish off with a few sprays of perfume. But now comes the hard part. The heels. Thankfully the heel wasn’t crazy high off the ground, but it was enough for you to feel off balance. You nearly face plant a couple times but after doing a few circles around your room you feel confident enough to walk in them.

 You almost walk out the door but remember something important. A weapon. Hopefully tonight you don’t have to use one, but with Kid and the rest of the crew, you never know what is going to happen. 

 “Let’s see. I need something to match.” You search once again and spot the perfect one. 

~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

 You were the first one to show up at the bar, much to your surprise. You figured you’d walk in to see Kid throwing back drinks and scaring people away. But neither him or the rest of the crew has shown up. You find a vacant table and wait for everyone else. A wave of nervousness crashes over you when you think about Kid. Will he like how I look? As if on cue the bar doors burst open, revealing the man of the hour. 

 Kid walks in like he owns the place with Killer following behind. The pair spot you and start to walk your way. Your heartbeat picks up when a pair of orange eyes land on you. With a few heavy steps, Kid was standing right in front of you. His eyes look you up and down before they stall on your face. 

 “Hey Kid, there is something I need to tell you.” You spoke in a softer tone and straightened your back up. For a moment he just stares at you. “Kid I lo-” Your cut off by Kid’s howling laughter.

 “Why are you talking like that and what the hell is all over your face?” You were absolutely floored by his reaction. “And when did you start wearing dresses? It doesn't suit you at all.” His words make your heart drop.  He let out one last laugh before going up to the bar,completely throwing you off. You clench your teeth and blink a few tears away.

 “Y/N…” Killer’s voice snaps you from your thoughts. 

 “It's fine.” You cringe at the way your voice cracks. Hold it together Y/N, you're strong.

 “Killer get over here!” Kid’s voice booms against the walls of the bar.

 “You better go before he starts trouble.” You give the masked man a fake smile. He nods before joining Kid at the bar. Part of you wants to leave so you can cry, while the other part wants to waltz up to Kid and knock his lights out for laughing at you. Crying would only destroy your makeup and punching Kid wouldn't change a damn thing. I guess I’ll stay and see how things play out.

 Heat, wire and the rest of the crew came filing in one by one. The music in the bar was loud and energetic as people hit the dance floor. Everyone not dancing was laughing and enjoying their drinks, while you sat alone, sulking like a kicked puppy. 

 “I need to find a girl to dance with.” The men sitting at the table next to you look around the room for possible takers.

 “There’s you one.” You can feel their judgmental eyes study your body as they laugh.

 “Hell no man.” You clench your fist knowing they are making fun of you. It’s most definitely not the first time it’s happened, but right now you were in no mood.

 “I have ears, you jackasses.” You shoot the men a nasty glare. 

 “No wonder you're all by yourself. Not only are you fat, but you're a bitch too.” You only smirk at the man's comment.

 “You forgot one thing.” You slowly bring the skirt of your dress up to reveal the red and gold flintlock gun strapped to your thigh. “I’m also packing.” You point your finger to each man at the table. “I have three bullets, one for each of you, with the name 'asshole' written on them.” The men look taken back, just the reaction you wanted. “And if you're wanting to find a partner so badly I can send you straight to hell, I heard the devil really knows how to dance~” Your eyes stare into their fear stricken ones as you slowly pull the gun from the holster. One by one they ran out of the bar with their tails tucked between their legs. “That’s what I thought.” You bring your dress back down. “Cowards.”

 You take a deep breath and try to not let their comments bother you, but what they said stung a little. I need a distraction. Your eyes land on the dance floor, you notice some of the crew getting down and dirty. They had gorgeous girls grinding up against them. At this rate you doubt any of them will be coming back to the ship tonight.

 “You look like you could use this.” Killer walks up and sits a drink in front of you. You murmur a thanks before chugging the whole thing down. “I’m sorry tonight didn’t go how you planned and if it's any consolation, I think you look great.”

 “Thanks Killer. And it’s okay.” You lie. It’s really not okay and you're not okay at all. You're putting up a good front at least. “I should have known, I mean it is Kid after all…” 

 “Still..” The blonde taps his fingers against the table. 

 “You know what.” You clench your fist in frustration. I need to do something. “I think I want to have a little chat with him.”

 “Okay, but I’m going with you.” You and Killer stand up from the table and walk towards the bar.

  You trail right behind Killer as he navigates the crowd. From time to time you’ve had to grab the back of his shirt thanks to the unfamiliar shoes you wore. You think of what you're going to tell Kid, how you should word it and if you’ll actually say anything at all. You're pulled away from your thoughts as you ram right into Killer’s back.

 “Is something wrong Killer? Why did you stop?” His whole body was tensing up. You tug the bag of his shirt demanding an answer. “Helllooo? Earth to Killer?”

 “Y/N, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” You could hear his voice waiver over the music. He’s hiding something.

 “Killer what’s wrong?” He didn’t answer. “Killer let me see.”

 “No Y/N, let’s just leave.” Killer turns around and tries to get you to go back, but you slip past him. “Y/N wait, don’t!” It was too late.

 Your eyes land on Kid and the two harlots in his laps. You’ve always heard the phrase “It felt like my world fell apart.” and now you finally know what the feeling behind that was. Your mouth goes dry. The world starts spinning. Shit, I did all of this for nothing.

  The stinging in your eyes was becoming unbearable. They were so beautiful, feminine, and thin. Everything you were not and everything you wanted to be. The skimpy outfits they had on showed off their perfect figures. You could already imagine the laughs you’d get if you ever wore anything like that. They were the embodiment of sexy. Something you tried to achieve tonight but failed. You were crazy to think you’d turn heads when this was your competition. But at the end of that day that's how it’s always been. You were so jealous, so full of rage and at the same time your heart was shattering. The iron wall you put up masking how you truly feel was breaking at the hinges. You finally look away, unable to handle it a second longer. 

 “Killer, I'm going back to the ship.” You feel your lip quiver as tears form in your eyes. “I don’t feel good.” You try to run from him but he grabs your wrist.

 “Y/N, wait.” You try to shake out of his firm grip.

 “Killer I can’t watch that a second longer. I just can’t.” The last part comes out as a sob. “I don’t want to be here, for fucks sake let me go!” 

 “At Least let me walk you back.” You shake your head, company is the last thing you need.

 “No, please just leave me alone.” You pull away from Killer and run towards the door.

 You struggle to fight the crowd with tears blurring your vision. A heavy feeling was conjuring in your chest with each unsteady step you took. That was supposed to be me with him. 

 I need to get out of here. Your steps become sloppy as you try to hurry, causing you to lose your footing. You hit the wooden floor below you face first.  The crowd of people around you fell silent. You rise up on your knees and realize something was wrong. Looking down you see a trail of red fabric wrapped around a loose nail on the bar's floor. That red trail of fabric led up to your stomach that was now showing. You try to cover yourself with your hands, but nothing you could do would make their prying eyes leave your body.

  Your eyes widen in horror as the people around you start to laugh. You try to stand up but your shoe slips, sending you right back to the floor. Fingers point at you like you were a circus animal performing a trick. It was absolutely mortifying. 

 Their laughter, their shushed insults swirl in your head with the booming music. The room around you seemed to be getting larger and larger, or maybe you were getting smaller. It was all too much.

 “Here Y/N. I’ll help you get up.” You see Killer holding his hand out, but you smack it away. 

 “I don’t need pity from you!” Your yell causes the crowd to go silent. You stand up on your own and head towards the bar's exit. “I’m going back to the ship. And don’t you dare follow me.” You sling your heels off and use them to cover as much of your bare stomach as you can. You walk out of the bar barefoot and humiliated.

~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•

 You board the ship and head straight to the safety of your room. You throw your heels to the floor and walk in front of your mirror. The mascara left trails of black down your tear soaked face. Your makeup you worked so hard on perfecting was destroyed, along with the torn dress. The brief moment feeling pretty and confident was gone and replaced by humiliation and disgust. Your hand wraps around the necklace's gold chain before yanking it off.. I’m worthless. You let the torn dress fall to the floor. I’m nothing. You look at your naked body in the mirror. I’m just a joke. 

 “Why can’t I lose weight? Why can’t I be pretty? Why can’t I be someone else?” You yell at your reflection while clenching your fist, fighting the urge to punch the mirror. “Goddammit, I can't even stand to look at myself!” 

  The overwhelming emotions coursing through you causes your knees to give out. You slide to the floor with hands gripping your hair. Swirls of laughter entwined with your destructive thoughts. I hate you, I hate you so much.

 Purururu~Purururu~

 You hesitate for a moment, but your trembling hand reaches over and grabs the ringing transponder snail.

 “Hello?” You try to sound as calm as possible.

 “Y/N have you made it back to the ship?” You feel a pang of guilt hearing Killer’s voice remembering what you did to him.

 “I made it back, but Killer.. I-I’m.” Hot tears roll down your face. “I’m sorry for yelling at you and smacking your hand. You were just trying to help me..” 

 “It’s okay Y/N.” Killer tries to reassure you, but it doesn't work.

 “It is not okay!” Your body shook trying to fight back wails. Get a grip dammit. “I’m so sorry,I- I’m being emotional. It’s just.. I  thought Kid would have liked how I looked ya know.” You wipe your nose with the back of your hand. “I tried so hard but I wasn’t good enough. I never am.” 

 “That’s not true.” Killer growls. “Don’t say shit like that.”

 “Yes it is Killer. You saw how everyone laughed at me like I was some kind of freak. All because of my stomach showing. Did you see how many girls in the bar were walking around wearing bikinis with their stomachs out?  No one was laughing at them and you want to know why? Because they are beautiful and I am not.” Killer went quiet as if he was unable to find words to comfort you. “I’m sorry I’m having a melt down on you. This was supposed to be a fun night and I ruined it all because I wanted to tell Kid I love him.” But the love is unrequited. It’s something only you will hold near and dear to your heart, but you're also the sole bearer of its pain. “Killer, don't worry about me, go back into the bar and enjoy yourself. A hot shower should fix me right up. Goodnight.” You hang up before Killer could protest any further and head into the bathroom.

~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

 Steam from the shower fills your small bathroom. The hot water wraps around your body in a blanket like comfort. The warmth brings back the fond memory between you and Kid.  It was when you all first set sail years ago. The ship had to be docked on a Winter Island for emergency repairs. You were used to the South Blue’s mild and warm weather. It only took 1 day of the harsh cold for you to fall ill. No matter how many layers of clothes you had on, no matter how many blankets you wrapped around your body, nothing could warm you. 

~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~

 “Here Y/N, I made you some hot chocolate.” Killer handed you a big mug. “Be careful, don’t get burnt.”

 “Thank you.” Your voice was dry and raspy from coughing. “I haven’t heard Kid yelling or rampaging recently. Is he okay?” You blew the beverage to cool it, before taking a sip. Killer’s laugh reverberated in the room.

 “Yeah he’s okay. He’s been cooped up in his workshop. Last time I checked on him he said he was about done with whatever it is he’s working on.” Killer sat on the small wooden chair by your bed.

 “Probably something to do with the ship. Hopefully we get out of here soon or I might turn into a Y/N popsicle.” You drank all of the hot cocoa down before letting out a pleased sigh.

 “We should be done soon, just rest up for now.” Killer ruffled your hair, something he always did when he was worried about you.”If you need anything let me know.”

 “Okay.” You handed the empty mug to him before he walked out of the room. 

 When you woke up next it was already dark outside. The temperature in the room had dropped even more. You couldn't wait to get the hell away from the snowy hellhole. Your ears perked up when you heard heavy footsteps approaching. You recognized the pattern immediately. The door handle turned and the door opened to reveal a very tired looking Eustass Kid.

 “Hey captain.” You gave the red head a weak smile. He didn’t say anything as he shut the door behind him. You noticed he was carrying something in his hands. He stood beside the bed and unrolled what appeared to be a blanket. 

 “Here.” He pulled the covers off of your body and placed the blanket onto your body. The fuzzy fur that lined it felt so good against your shivering form. “If you click this button it warms up.” He clicked the button and you immediately started to feel the warmth radiate from it. So this is what he’s been working on all this time.

 “Thank you Kid.” You snuggled into the blanket.  

 “Yeah, whatever.” You watched a pink blush decorate his cheeks. You opened your mouth to tease him, but started to cough instead. The force from the coughs caused your body to quake.  You pointed at the glass of water on your nightstand. Kid frantically grabbed it and held it against your lips. You gulped the water down and pulled away to take a breath.

 “I’m sorry you have to see me like this.” You never liked showing any kind of weakness, especially around Kid. 

 “It’s okay, you can’t help it.” Kid started to walk over to your bedroom door. You frowned knowing he was going to leave. But to your surprise he didn’t, instead you heard the lock on your door get turned. He kicked his boots off beside the door before he walked back over to the bed. “Move over.” 

 “Huh?” Your heart hammered in your chest as you watched him remove his jacket, followed by his shirt. 

 “Don’t make it weird. Just shut up and do what I say.” His non existent eyebrow twitched. Make it weird? You nodded your head and moved over in bed. The bed creaked as Kid’s massive body crawled beside you. Your eyes were glued to his every move as he got comfortable. He was so close that you could feel his body heat. You covered the blankets over your face to hide your giddy expression. But who could blame you, your longtime crush laid shirtless right beside you. “What the hell are you looking at!?” Kid growled out, causing you to turn away from him in the bed. I guess I made it weird.. Oops.

 “I’m sorry.” It was embarrassing as hell getting caught checking him out, but it was well worth it. 

 “Sure you are.” The hairs on your neck stood up hearing how close he was. The bed shifted as he moved until his chest was pressed against your back. He draped a muscular arm around your plush midsection and placed his head on top of yours. Your mind went blank processing what was going on, Eustass Kid was cuddling you. It was strange how small and safe you felt in that moment, like nothing big and bad in the world could get you. It was the most wonderful feeling ever and you never wanted it to end. “Now go to sleep.” You relaxed into his protective hold.

 “Roger that captain.” You yawned as you spoke. Between Kid’s warmth and the heated blanket, you were getting coxed right into sleep. You were almost there when you felt Kid gently tighten his grip on you.

 “You're okay…… You’re gonna be okay Y/N.” Kid’s voice was barely above a wispear. Your eyes shot open realizing he was saying that to reassure not you, but himself. He must think I’m asleep. “I’ll keep you warm. No matter what.” He may be terrible at showing emotions, but the words he spoke conveyed how much he cared and how worried he was about you. 

 ~~~~Flashback end~~~~

  But the warmth from that night was long gone. 

 “Why not me?” You keep replaying the scene over and over in your head. The way the girls giggled as they traced his biceps. The way they laid against his chest while giving him bedroom eyes. You could only hope he wasn’t going to bring them back to the ship, the last thing you need to hear is him screwing them all night. You feel a throb in your chest just thinking about it. You were sabotaging yourself with no end in sight. The warm shower water was long gone at this point and replaced by the cold. 

 “I thought you said you would keep me warm? What a fucking liar.” 

~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

 Meanwhile at the bar..

 “I would but the bar is on fir.” *Click* Well she hung up.” Killer put the teary eyed snail back into his pocket. “You catch all of that Kid?”

 “Yeah, I did.” Kid stood right beside Killer in front of the bar that is now burning to the ground . “What should I do?”

 “Well Kid.. I think you should apologize to her. She was so excited about tonight and it went up in smoke.Literally” The bar behind them crashes to the ground. “You love her too, don’t you?”

 “I’m no good for her Killer.” Kid clenches his fist. “I hurt her and she is crying because of me. I don’t deserve her. Not one bit.” 

 “That’s not for you to decide. At the end of the day she wants you Kid.” Killer sighs and places an arm on Kid’s shoulder. “Yes you hurt Y/N, yes she is crying. That’s why you need to go fix it and make sure it never happens again. Now go to her.” Kid contemplated for a moment before making up his mind.

 “Killer, you're in charge, take the crew to a different bar.” A scream comes from the pile of burning bar. Kid smirks hearing it. “Seems like one of the lousy fucks that laughed at Y/N didn’t die after I got done with em. But they won’t survive getting burned alive.”

 “You technically laughed at her too.” Guilt fills Kid even more.

 “I know, shut up.” Kid turns away from his friend. “I just wasn’t used to her looking like that and I didn’t know how to react. It’s not that I didn’t like it or anything..”

 “Enough talking.” Killer gave Kid a push before walking away with the rest of the crew. “Go make things right kid. and try to be gentle doing so.”

 Kid ran down the empty streets, straight towards the Victoria. He made a few stops, stealing a few things that he hopes would bring a smile back to your face.

 ~~~~ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ

 Your body shivers when you step out of the shower. You shouldn’t have stood under the cold water for that long, but you were numb. Physically and mentally. You dry yourself off with a fluffy towel before changing into your night clothes. It felt good to be free of makeup and free of that dress, but it still hurt knowing it was all for nothing. You step out of the bathroom and throw the wet towel in a basket.

 “Can we talk?” Your body tenses up ready to fight the intruder until you realize who it was. Kid sat at the edge of your bed, holding a huge bouquet of flowers and a sword.

 “Why are you here Kid? Why did you leave the bar?” You shoot him a confused look. 

 “I burnt that lame ass bar to the ground.” His crazy smile fills his face but goes away in an instant. “More importantly, why did you walk home by yourself? It’s dangerous for a woman. I know you were upset, but I would have came and-”

 “Don’t be a sexist pig, besides you looked preoccupied.” The tension in the room was becoming thick and unbearable. “Besides, a woman that looks like me has nothing to worry about.”

 “What the hell does that mean Y/N?” Kid’s voice booms against the walls of your room. You could feel your blood boil at his outburst, all the pent up anger and sadness was about to pop.

 “What it means is exactly what you think it means, Eustass.” Your brows furrow in anger. “Don’t pretend like you give a shit all of a sudden. You sure didn’t care back at the bar.” 

 “That’s not true Y/N.” You slam your foot down in frustration at his words. Liar.

 “Bullshit Kid! I got my makeup done, dressed pretty, and I tried to be cute just for you and you didn't even care. You only laughed in my face.” At this point you didn’t care what came out of your mouth. “I was going to tell you how I’ve loved you for years. But seeing those girls in your lap reminded me why I keep my feelings secret all this time. Because I knew this is how it would turn out. With all the gorgeous women out there, why the hell would anyone want me. I don’t even want me. You know what I'd give up to look like one of those girls? The envy I feel towards them is down right suffocating..” Your hands come up to cradle your face. “I can’t stand this and I can’t stand you Kid so get out.”

 Kid didn’t move. He didn’t speak. Your angry voice fills his ears and your tears reflect in his eyes. At this moment he realizes just how much damage he caused. He is unsure what to do or how to make you feel better. Was there even anything that could? “Go make things right kid. and try to be gentle doing so.”

 “Come here Y/N.” He held his flesh hand out. “You're shaking.” 

 “My shower got cold, but I’ll be fine. Just go away..”  Kid stood up, causing you to take a few steps back to create some distance. “I said go away!”

 “I’m sorry Y/N.”  You're frozen in shock, he has never said sorry to anyone a day in his life. “This is my fault. Truth is I love you too, but I just can’t help but think you deserve someone better. Someone who doesn't get pissy at the drop of a hat, someone who isn’t a huge asshole like I am. Someone more stable. I’m not going to make anymore excuses, just know I do love you. So please come here.”

 “I won’t.” Your back was now flush against your bedroom door. Kid turns around and picks up the sword he brought with him.

 “Look at what I got~.” He waves the sword as if to bribe you. “I’ll give it to you if you come here~”

 “Leave Kid.” You cross your arms and turn away. “And take that lames ass sword and tacky bouquet with you.” The floor vibrates as Kid walks right up to you.

 “Oh yeah?” He slams his hands on either side of your head.  He was trying to intimidate you but you had no plans on backing down. Your sharp eyes never waiver from his and you stand your ground firmly. “That’s my girl.” His comment caught you so off guard your mind went blank. Kid took advantage of that by wrapping his flesh arm around your back to pull you against him.

 “Don’t play with me Kid.” You try to get out of his grasp but his metallic hand comes around your back, completely caging you against his chest. “You just wait Eustass Kid, once I wiggle my way out yo-” You stall the moment you see the gentle look on his face. His smile wasn’t crazy big or sinister. It was pleasant, calm, and very unlike him.

 “Want to know something?” He pulls your body away from him a little before his flesh hand cups your tear soaked cheek. “I thought you looked damn good tonight. If I didn’t laugh my jaw would have fallen clean to the floor. But I was right when I said it didn’t suit you.” You raise your brow. So he liked how you looked but it somehow didn’t suit you? “You don’t need dresses or make up to impress me. You do that everyday just being yourself. You don’t have to be thin, feminine or none of that crap. I don’t want you to be anyone else but you. I love everything about you Y/N.  I love that excited look you get when you find a really cool weapon or how your eyes get crazy when that said weapon blows something up. I love how you stay close to me when we are fighting, and I know it’s not because you're scared or need my protection which you will always have no matter what. You stay beside me to protect me from my own recklessness.”

 “Kid…” Crap, I’m crying again.

 “I’m not done yet. I love how you're always broke and bumming money from me. As annoying as it is, I find it cute. I always keep a pouch in my pocket just for you. I bet ya didn’t notice how it has your name engraved on it.” 

 “Really?” His arms let you go so you could see for yourself. You run over and grab the pouch. You flip it around and see the engraving, but it’s not your name. “Kid, my name is not ‘The reason Eustass Kid is broke’.” You threw the empty pouch at him. 

 “I’m pretty sure that’s you sweetheart.” Kid fell onto the bed laughing his head off at your pouty expression. “But I truly wouldn't have it any other way. So come here and that’s captain's orders.” 

 “Fine. I’m tired of arguing.” You mosey your way to him, he spread his legs apart so you could stand in between them. “Just so you know I’m still mad at you.”

 “I know. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it right.” His head came down to rest on your plush stomach. The affection he was giving you felt good, but it didn’t change the fact he was a jerk to you earlier. 

 “So Captain, you said you would do anything to make things right, is that correct?” You reach down and pull his goggles back before letting them go so they smacked against his skin.

 “Ow what the hell was that for?” He rubs the sore spot left from your little assault.

 “Consider yourself lucky, that's all I do. Now If you want to make things right, listen up.” Kid’s eyes sharpen at your words. He was getting serious. 

 “I never want to see anyone in your lap that isn’t me.”

 “The throne is all yours.” 

 “It better be, next I want you to be open to me about your feelings the best you can. And I’ll do the same.”

 “Of course.”

 “I also want that empty room next to Killers room, I need more room for my weapons.” 

 “Done, it’s yours”

 “One last thing, I want a new money pouch. A much bigger one~”

 “I'll think about it, you greedy little woman.”

 Giggles erupt from your throat as Kid pulls you down with him on the bed. You smile and nuzzle into his chest, taking in the comforting smell of oil and rum. You know there is alot you and him still need to talk about, but for now you just want to enjoy this moment with him.

“You know I did like the red lipstick you had on, but I think a different shade would have looked better…” 

 “And what shade did you have in mind?” You lift off of his chest and notice his sinister smirk was back.

 “Mine.” Before you could question any further he flips your body underneath his and crashes his red lips against yours. The kiss is rough and fueled by years of pent up passion for one another. His hand snakes down your side to give your thick hip a rough squeeze before your lips detach. “Looks like I was right. I bet it would look good here too, even better here, and here.” His lips begin to trail down your neck. Kid pulls back and stares at your flustered face. “Pretty girl, I think I’ll just paint your whole body red.”

 And he did just that.

~~~~~~~Bonus~~~~~~~~

 You woke up to see Kid sleeping peacefully as he held you against his chest. But by peacefully you mean he was snoring loudly and drooling like a wild animal. Carefully you wiggle your sore body out of his hold. The heat creeps back onto your cheeks thinking how it got sore to begin with.

 You wrap a spare blanket around your nude body and crawl out of the bed. The red beast beside of you thankfully didn’t wake up. I need to wash up. On your way over to the bathroom you stop in front of the mirror and let the blanket fall to the floor. Every spot on your body you hated or felt insecure about was covered in Kid’s red kiss marks. Although the marks got fainter and fainter as they went down your body, they were still there nonetheless. 

  A smile forms on your lips when Kid appears behind you in the mirror. His flesh arm came around your body as he buried his head in the crook of your neck. He planted a soft kiss behind your ear before looking at you in the mirror. You hold back a laugh seeing how wild his hair looked.

 “Good morning Captain bedhead.” You give Kid’s bicep a kiss before resting your head against it.

 “And who is that thanks to.” His sleep laced voice grumbles in your ear. “You sure held on to it tight and made it a mess while I ate yo-”

 “SHUT IT.” You turn around and hide your face in his chest. “You're one to talk anyways. I look like a piece of abstract art.”

 “You do and I’m one hell of an artist.” His hand runs up and down your side. “But I’m nowhere close to being done with you.”

 “Huh?” You didn’t have the chance to blink before you were slung back onto the bed. “Kid what are you doing?” 

 He didn’t answer, instead he walks over to your dresser and grabs the tube of red lipstick out of your pile of makeup. 

 “This will have to do for now.” He bit down on the cap and spit it out before applying the lipstick. “Seems like I missed a spot. I can’t leave my masterpiece unfinished, now can I?” 

~End~

[strawwiibernyy]

By The Sea - Nishimura R.

_____________________

[Riki x Fem!Reader]

warnings! angst, cursing, suggestive-lime (for a very brief moment), mentions of smut (don't worry I haven't written smut for him), abuse, alcohol, family issues, smoking.

words: 6,5k

╰┈➤ When you moved from Tokyo to the seaside, you didn’t expect to fall in love. Riki was strange and had a lot of faces. In a way, he reminded you of the sea. It can be stormy, but also calm. And very, very beautiful. [Inspo from the jmovie: Drowning Love 2016]

_____________________

"Mmh, I can already smell the ocean!" Your father said, taking a big sniff of the air around. His hands were gripping hard the wheel, turning from here and there. From how many turns this road had, you felt like throwing up.

However, you didn't say anything. You kept your headphones plugged to your ears, trying to forget.

Forget that from your perfect Tokyo life, they are forcing you to move to a small sea village. You lost your house, friends, and money. Now your everyday life wouldn't include parties, but your dad teaching you fishing.

"It's very beautiful here! Right, Y/N?" Your mother asked, but you didn't hear her. Or actually you did, yet pretended not to. Your gaze was out of the window, and you had to admit the scenery was unique.

After a while, you arrived at your grandfather's house. He was living alone all these years. Your grandmother left this world at a young age. You felt bad for your grandfather, your heart clenching at the elder's happiness to have you here.

"Oh, you grow up so much! You got taller than your mother!" He said, throwing his hands around you. A smile went up your lips, which was rare after you learnt the news.

"I missed you, grandpa."

"Oh, and the little one!" His eyes went on to your little brother, who was currently eating a cup of vanilla ice cream. Your grandfather went towards him, taking the young boy in his hands. "Come inside! I have already prepared the beds."

You began walking towards the small house, and your mother went next to you. She smiled, before whispering to you something. "After lunch, how about we take a walk around the village? Just us."

To be honest, you were thinking of going for a walk alone. You would rather to have your own peace and quiet while exploring the place, but you couldn't decline your mother. It would be safer with her too.

"Alright."

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．*Time Skip*

The smell of fish hit your nose as soon as you got out. It was windy today, and the ocean waves were rabid against the rocks surrounding it. All the houses around were small, most of them painted in white. Kids ran around, and people on their bicycles instead of cars.

You were wearing a white maxi skirt, along with a warm red tea, which was matching with your red bag. Back in Tokyo, you looked a lot into fashion. Here, everyone dressed with whatever they had in their closet.

"You will love it here. I am sure about it." Your mother said, walking with her hands crossed behind her back. You shrugged, focusing on the view instead of her.

"I always preferred towns over villages."

"Yes, because you had never visited a village." Her reply made you shut your mouth quickly, avoiding her eye contact.

You walked with your mother miles and miles until you stopped at a market. Your nose scratched from the strong seance of fish, but you didn't show your disgust to her.

"I need to buy some groceries. Can you wait for a couple of minutes?" She said, pulling out from her pocket some coins. You nodded at her, and she disappeared into the market.

Now you finally had the peace and quiet you needed. Thoughts filled your head on how the first grade of high school will go here. Your middle school life was perfect, and you could live an even better high school one there.

Yet now you weren't in Tokyo, and you had to realize it.

While you were looking around, letting your eyes explore the village, a boy caught your attention. He was tall with dyed blonde hair. You furrowed, wondering why he was allowed to dye them.

He seemed around your age, and the school didn't allow it. Or the schools here differ from how they were in Tokyo? You were watching him walking around with his hands in his pockets. He was going near the low stone wall which separated the sea and the village.

Suddenly, his eyes met yours. They were dark brown, but the sunlight turned them into honey-like. Now you saw his entire face, and he was more handsome than ever. Plump lips and clear skin decorated by a few moles.

Your eyes got wide once he pointed with his head the sea. His hands left his pockets and his legs rushed towards the stairs. It was now that you noticed the stairs that were leading to the sea. It sparkled your curiosity.

'I can go down too. Mom is at the market anyway.'

You clenched the handles of the bag, walking towards the stair. A doubt was still hidden in your chest. That boy could be dangerous. However, his eyes seemed innocent.

Small steps till down the last one. Your white ballerina shoes found the tiny stones. The ocean didn't have sand as you thought. The tiny stones got into your shoes as you began looking for the boy. It annoyed you.

Taking your ballerinas, you placed them near the stairs. Now your feet hurt even more, but you brushed it off.

And as the wind was hitting hard your face, even with narrowed eyes, you saw the boy. He was at the edge of a huge rock, looking down at the water.

He wore nothing but a simple white shirt and some baggy jeans. His shoes were down at the rocks, while his gaze remained firmly on the ocean under him.

'Don't tell me.'

The boy looked at you before jumping into the sea. Taking a big dive into the crystal waters. You jumped in your spot, furrowing your eyebrows at him. By the time passing, the waves were becoming more and more powerful. So why had he jumped?

Your legs moved on its own, running towards the rock. Too busy with the weird boy, you didn't even hear your phone ringing.

The rocks created like a stair that drove you in that same spot the boy was standing. However, you still needed to do some climbing. Standing there, you were battling with yourself to go or not.

Yes won, and your fingers wrapped around the rocks. You congratulated yourself for taking off your shoes, because you would slip otherwise. Deep breaths and trembling hands. You could easily fall off any second.

"Ah!" The edge of your skirt got stuck into some rocks, and the material got torn. You considered it as one of the most important items in your closet, and you tore it down.

All that for that boy.

At the edge of the rock, a chilly wind went by. You could see everything from up here. Where the ocean began and where it stopped. The numerous fishes swimming around the water. And the boy's face.

He wouldn't look at you, even if he was the one to take you here. His eyes were closed as he enjoyed the cold water tickling his skin. A smile was on his lips, feeling the chills of the thrill.

"Get out! It's dangerous!" The boy looked up once he heard your voice. Seeing you in that state excited him. Dirty clothes that were stuck on your body, your skirt torn at the edges, and your hair a mess. The cute high ponytail you had done was falling low against your shoulder.

He didn't reply. Instead, he gave you a smile, enjoying the water. You scoffed at how he ignored you, anger building up in your core.

You had to leave. But now you felt scared. The road till here seemed easier than going it down. Sitting down, you began dragging yourself towards the exit.

One foot, another one. You were doing good. Till you felt your right arm giving up. In seconds, you had lost all your balance. The thousand thoughts you had made now had disappeared, and your heart beat had raised high.

It was either you die, or have serious injuries. Why did you follow him? You shouldn't have followed that boy. Now you would walk back home with your mother, safe from everything else.

This village and its people were weird.

And as you were ready to hit into the rocks, a hand wrapped around your waist. It stopped your movement, raising you up on your feet instead. God didn't want you to die after all.

Or maybe, that boy in front of you was the one who wanted you alive.

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．*Time Skip*

A week had passed since the incident. After the boy saved you, he went and jumped back into the sea. You tried to once again call out for him. Shouting warnings that he ignored.

When you returned home, you saw your upset parents running around. They were looking for you.

"Don't ever leave like that!" Your mother yelled, punching lightly your left arm. You excused your state, saying you went to see the sea. Not a single mention of the strange boy.

Today was your first day in high school.

You shared texts with your old friends, which you dreamed this day with. Even to them, you didn't talk about that crazy boy. After that day, you never saw him again.

Till today at least.

He was sitting in the back of the classroom, right next to the window. He was the only one with dyed hair, and you wondered why would he be the expectation. Was he something important?

"We also have a student that came from Tokyo. It is Y/L Y/N, right?" The teacher asked, and you raised your hand. You hated him for that. Starting your year here, you wanted to blend in with the others. But the teacher had made sure to divert you.

"From Tokyo?" — "I have heard people from Tokyo are very snob." — "Yes, she probably thinks she is better than us." — "But she is cute tho. How many days do you give me till I kiss her?"

Whispers from here and there. Some being hateful comments and some other from stupid boys who think they can have a change with you. Everyone was looking at you. All the attention was on you.

Expect from that boy's.

"Riki, don't you think she is pretty?" The boy who was sitting in front of him asked. Riki was still looking out of the window, not caring about your presence here.

You were anxious, thinking he might reveal your first meet with him. He finally turned his gaze away from the window, looking at his friend. You swallowed a hard knot down your neck, still waiting.

Your eyes met, and yours turned at the front. However, you didn't lose the smirk he gave you. "Nah, she is average. It's just that she is new here. Wait one week and none will remember her."

"Woah, there." His friend was left big-eyed by his harsh words. He turned towards you, giggling awkwardly. He hoped you hadn't heard Riki's words, but you had. And your heart dropped, messing up your mood for the rest of the day.

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．*Time Skip*

The bell rang, indicating it was time for lunch. Placing your pink lunch box on your desk, your eyes wondered around. You didn't want to eat alone. Back in Tokyo, you had tons of friends to accompany you.

Now, none was glancing in your direction. They think you are prideful and rude because you come from Tokyo. But that wasn't true.

You wanted to meet everyone. Every single one of them. Even Nishimura Riki.

"Y/L, want to sit with us?" A girl patted your shoulder, and you turned around. She was a very petite girl, with short brown hair. You looked at where her finger was pointing to see another girl waving at you.

Those two girls were kind enough to accept you. Giving them a smile, you nodded eagerly your head. Their desk was at the back of the class, next to Riki's one.

While walking there, you noticed Riki didn't have food with him. He continued looking out of the window, pushing everyone who tried to talk to him. Like he did to you.

Your smile dropped, feeling pity for the blonde boy. Even if his behaviour was rude, you felt a thrill for him. A thrill where you hadn't even felt in Tokyo.

"Woah, Y/N! You eat very little." One of them said, her eyes wide while looking at your lunch box. People here were different. They didn't care about their appearance as much as in Tokyo. And honestly, you felt safer here.

"It's a lip gloss that has gone very viral, but I can't remember the brand."

"Oh, I want that too! But shops here for sure won't have it."

"I wish I lived in Tokyo instead, like Y/L. There I could find it everywhere and cheaper." The two girls began talking, the major topic of their conversation a lip gloss.

You couldn't even hear them as they explored the new trends in make-up. Your attention was on Riki. The boy had stood up, his gaze leaving the window. Then he looked at you before he ran out of the classroom.

It was just like one week ago at the sea. He had given you the same long gaze before disappearing. However, he always waited for you to catch up to him.

The same thing happened today. You soon found yourself chasing after him. The girls behind you were frozen in place, confused about where you were going. They probably wouldn't talk to you again after that. Yet you had to follow Riki.

He was standing outside of the classroom's door, waiting for you. When he heard your panting, he began running again. And you both ran and ran among the other students. Till he arrived at his destination.

There was a lake. Hidden between the wide leaves of the trees, just behind the school. Riki sat in front of the lake. His legs crossed against his chest, and then he placed his hands on his knees. You copied his position, sitting next to him.

It was peaceful. The waters flowed very fast, but they were calm. Small red fishes swam around, splashing a few drops of water on you. Giggles left your mouth, and Riki turned to look at you.

You didn't look back, even if you could feel his eyes on you. Instead, you leaned forward to splash water on the fishes. More giggles left your mouth when the fishes quickly swam away, scared of the human hand.

"You really are weird." Riki whispered, his eyebrows furrowed. Your smile didn't drop at his mean remark. You turned towards him, and your head went to rest on your hands.

"Well, aren't you also?" Riki's stone cold expression stayed the same. Expect of his parted lips, taking in your beautiful futures. He licked them, coating them with his glittering saliva.

"You don't get to call me weird, Tokyo girl."

"My name is Y/N Y/L, not Tokyo girl."

"Alright Tokyo girl." You puffed your cheeks at him, while he seemed to enjoy angering you. A small smirk sat on his face, and your expression changed. Your cheeks started heating up, and you turned your head to the other side.

"You are seriously annoying."

"Not as much as you."

"Shut up!" You replied, and you both started laughing. And the sound of his laugh was everything you needed. It sent shivers down your spine, and you felt his laugh in every inch of your skin.

You were already falling in love with him.

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．*Time Skip*

One month in the village and you had forgotten about Tokyo. Because Tokyo didn't have Riki.

"Wait, Riki!" You shouted, trying to run as fast as you could with your sandals. On the other hand, the boy was laughing at you. He was landing from rock to rock, while your road to catch up to him was still too long.

The destination was that sea, where you and Riki met for the first time. The air had still the same smell of salt and fish. It was like you could see that day replaying in your mind.

"Come and catch me, Tokyo girl!" He was at the edge of the rock, his back turned to the sea. Your eyes got big, predicting his next move. You didn't want to dive into the sea. It scared you.

"Riki, I am not going in!" You informed him, and he giggled. He was waiting for you instead of jumping. His hands opened wide, and a smirk on his face.

"Riki?" You whispered, finally standing in front of him. One month here and your style had changed. In Tokyo, you only wore skirts. Now your legs were covered in blue shorts.

When Riki saw your shorts, he smirked wide. Nothing had prepared you for his next words. "Better now, the other times with those skirts of yours, I could see your panties. Not that I am complaining-"

"Riki!" You shouted, becoming red from embarrassed. He was at the edge of the rock, and you found your change for revenge. Your hands pushed his chest as hard as they could, throwing him in the water.

However, your plan failed when his open arms wrapped around your body. A scream left your mouth, falling in the water along with the boy. You were afraid of the sea, but his strong hug comforted you.

"Ah, h-help." Riki was deep in the water, while your head had come to the surface. In such deep waters, you couldn't swim. You thew your hands here and there, but the water dragged you down.

"R-riki!" Your mouth had filled with water, and Riki was still underneath the waves. Your heart beat raised and your hands became numb. You had reached your limit.

Until Riki finally appeared. Wrapping his hands around your waist, he pushed your body up along with him. Your hands flew to his shoulders and repeated coughs escaped your lips.

Riki even noticed your red eyes. Probably tears of fear. How could you be so dump? He was just joking. But he admitted that he didn't know you couldn't swim.

"Stop laughing!" You cried out at the laughing boy, hitting his shoulders. "I hate you!"

"Huh?" Riki smirked, perceiving your words as a challenge. You stopped moving, noticing Riki's eyes falling on your lips. It was now that you realized how close your faces were. Your eyes got wide, and a pink shade painted your fluffy cheeks.

"I bet you do, Tokyo girl." Riki crashed his lips on yours. Salt mixing with his and your saliva. You had imagined so many times how his lips would feel. They always looked so plump and moist. Each time he licked them, sinful thoughts crossed your head.

And now they were becoming reality. His hands brought you closer and your lips parted in surprise. When he found the change, he tried to slip his tongue in. However, you wouldn't allow this that soon.

"R-riki!" Your hands pushed on his chest, breaking the kiss. His hands were still around your waist, worried to let you go. But he would never admit this, not even to himself.

Because he didn't deserve to be loved by a person like you.

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．*Time Skip*

"You are a monster!" The drunk man yelled, throwing a bottle right at his child's trembling body. Fortunately, Riki was able to dodge it. However, the tiny pieces of glass that exploded when it fell on the floor went back to him.

A scream left the young boy's mouth. Looking at his skeleton-like arm, a piece had pierced his skin, blood running down his white clothes. The words from his father's mouth replayed in his mind.

'You are a monster. You are a monster. You are a monster.'

He was a monster.

"You killed my wife! Now I am alone because of you!" He had drank a lot. The smell of alcohol from his breath was enough strong to hit Riki's nose, who was meters away from him.

He was talking nonsense. His mother died right after she birthed Riki. The child knew deep down that it wasn't his fault, but his father's words were too powerful.

He was trying to think instead his grandmother's words. She had taken him for the first four years of his life because of his father's depression and alcoholism. However, after she died, the kid was left alone.

Not having any other relative alive, he ended up with his father. None knew the man's true face. Neither cared to learn it, since he was sitting all the time in his home.

"Ah, that's it. Go away, now!" He placed his hand on his chest, panting. He had gotten tired, but Riki whished he would die instead. The kid was only five when he began praying for his father's death. Maybe after that, there would be good people who would adopt him.

Anything to get away from him.

Yet now he is sixteen, and the man is still alive. Riki returns home at midnight, when his father is sleeping. Until then, he wonders around. School or not, he always stands up early.

He wanted friends. He really wanted some. But who in their right mind would want a monster like him?

Oh, he had forgotten about you.

"Riki!" You shouted, your usual dumb smile decorating yourself. He was sitting on a road near your house. It was rare to see him out of the sea, but you didn't mind. You liked the sea only because it reminded you of Riki.

"Again you."

"Yes." You said, showing off your teeth. However, the smile dropped when you noticed what he was holding. "Wait, you smoke?"

"Sometimes. But don't tell anyone. Let it be our secret, alright?" Riki smirked, leaning closer to your face. But, you pushed yourself away once you saw the smoke exiting his mouth.

"I, um, I have to ask you something." Suddenly, your cheeks became red. You looked down at your lap, playing with your fingers. Riki could sense what was coming, and he smirked at your nervousness.

"Um, are we dating?"

"No." He replied, leaving you wide-eyed. The cigarette touched again his skin, and his mouth wrapped around it. Taking a big sip, he left the grey smoke to fill his lungs.

"Then why did you kiss me?" You asked, dragging yourself closer to him to make him face you. His eyes watched the endless road, not caring about your flustered state.

"Because I felt like it."

"And what? You kiss any girl with whom you feel you like it?!" Riki threw his cigarette down. Then the same hand which held his cigarette gripped the right side of your face. Now he was finally facing you. But his face was too close, like the time he had kissed you.

"What does it matter? Do you like me?" His words left you frozen in place. This boy had no shame. Your eyes left his, locking down on the road again. "Reply to me."

"And If I did, then what?" You replied, puffing your cheeks. A giggle escaped from Riki's mouth at your cuteness. No, he shouldn't. You were a caring and a sensitive girl. He was a monster.

"Then you should stop because nothing will happen." He said, turning back to the front. Images of what your face could look like right now filled his mind. He was trying to shake them away, but he couldn't.

His eyes popped wide open when he heard your silent sobs.

You were crying. Because of him. Because he rejected you. It was the first time someone was crying for him, and Riki felt happy. He was ignoring you, being mean to you, so why would you?

"Are you dumb?" His one hand went again on your face, and his finger squeezed your cheeks together. You were crying, and he was enjoying it. It was the first time you had seen him smirk that wide.

"Leave me alone!" You tried to push Riki's wrist away, but his hand stayed firm on your face. His eyes went to your hand that was wrapped around his. He grew to like your touch.

"Riki! I said take your hand away-" His hug cut you off. Riki brought your face to his chest, and before you could leave, his hands wrapped around you. "W-what?" You whispered, his hands bringing you closer to him.

"Only for a minute." He said when you went to pull away. "Only for little." Riki repeated, and your hands hesitantly wrapped around his figure. He was saying all those things to you before, and now he was acting so affectionately.

This wasn't the Riki you had met. This was the real one. The real Nishimura Riki.

You both stayed like this for longer than a minute. The roads were empty, and the sun was going down. It felt like it was only the two of you in this world.

Riki and you. But this wouldn't last for long.

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．*Time Skip*

It was afternoon. Riki had promised to wait for you by the sea, but he wasn't there. You had even packed snacks for him, because he didn't eat a lot. You wondered why his mother didn't pack lunch for him. Yet it doesn't matter, he has you.

You knocked on his door. It was embarrassing for you to go around and ask where the Nishimuras lived, but you did. And now you were standing outside of Riki's door. None was answering, and you didn't have his contact too.

"Y-yes?" Finally, someone opened the door. It was a man, most likely his father. He was extremely skinny with facial hair. His voice was deep, like he had just woken up.

Maybe after all, it was a bad idea for you to come here.

"I am sorry if I am annoying you, but is Riki here?" From the moment he opened the door, he seemed out of it. His eyes were barely open, and his thin legs were too weak to hold up his body. However, when he heard his son's name, something woke up in him.

"That damn kid. Why would anyone want to see that kid?!" He suddenly started yelling, making you jump in fear. You took some steps back, but he walked closer to you either way.

"I am sorry, I am going now-"

"He is a monster! None loves him!" The man grabbed your right shoulder, his nails digging into your skin. It was the first time you felt that frightened. That man couldn't be his father.

But this also explained a lot. Why he never missed school, and why he never had lunch. And why he never went home.

And as he was about to hit you, a hand stopped him.

"Riki?" The blonde boy grabbed his father's hand, pushing him behind. His weak body fell on the floor, and Riki went to sit on top of him. He landed punches on him. On his father.

"Riki stop! Riki!" After you saw the sensitive Riki, now you were seeing the violent Riki. He had gotten so mad, his eyes were glittering. The punches wouldn't stop. He was getting out of hand.

"I said stop!" You rushed in between them. Riki had turned into an animal, into a real monster. Until he stopped when he locked eyes with you. His hand, which was first shaped into a punch, fell to his side.

And then, he grabbed your wrist. He left his father behind, screaming at you and Riki to come back. However, you had already run fast enough for his voice to fade.

Riki took you to the most special place, the sea. You didn't know why none came here to swim in such crystal waters. It was always you and Riki. Like this place was an imaginary one to your minds.

That day, he cried on your shoulder. He cried because he wasn't able to protect you; he cried that he was born into a family like that. He cried because whatever he did, he can never protect you.

And not protect you from his father, but from him.

Riki kissed you, and his tears sat on your lips. They were hot and salty, mixing with your own ones. At times like this, you needed each other's touch. It was your only comfort.

He took you to his storage. It was a small room in Riki's garden. There were gardening tools, but because none had used them in a while, they were covered in dust.

Your eyebrows frowned when you saw a small bed. You looked at Riki, whose eyes hadn't left you all this time you were looking around. "That's where you sleep?"

"Yes." He simply replied, stepping closer to you. Riki came so close that you could feel his hot breath hitting your neck. It tickled you, and you took some steps back.

"It's nice." You said, trying to break the ice. Your cheeks had started to heat up and your hands were sweaty. Riki came closer and closer. Until he pushed you into the bed.

Riki began kissing you roughly, slipping his tongue in your mouth. You felt something new build up in your body. Something good and warm, but it bothered you.

"I think I can help you with that." Riki smirked, marking your collarbone with his teeth. A sigh left your mouth at the new feeling, and your eyes closed.

That night, Riki drowned you in hugs and kisses. He kissed every little inch of your body, every scar and curve. It made you feel good and loved. You wanted to feel that thrill that Riki gave you every day. From head to toe.

After you finished, you adjusted your clothes and you exited the storage room. Riki had offered to walk you home, and a smile creeped your lips. He was so sweet. And only with you.

Yet, Riki was different when he got you home. You had both stopped at the front door, and he wouldn't let you leave. Every time you would try to walk away, he grabbed your wrist to pull you back.

"Riki, what has gotten into you?" He placed some strands of your hair behind your ear, and his lips went to your lips. He had given you all the love he had left inside his heart. But now, he was empty.

"Y/N, thank you." He said, and you furrowed.

"W-what do you mean?" You shuttered, noticing the emotion behind his eyes. He was sad. Was that because of what had happened with his father? Though seconds ago he was fine.

"Promise me you won't let that cheesy smile of yours fade?" His hand was caressing softly your cheek, and you felt like crying.

"W-why do you say all those things suddenly?"

"Just promise me." A sigh left your mouth, giggling.

"I promise." Riki smiled, and his hand pulled you into yet another kiss. This one was soft and long compared to his usual ones.

"Goodnight Riki!" You jumped away from his hands, walking back into your house.

"Goodbye, Y/N."

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．*Time Skip*

The next day, Riki did not attend school. You watched the class' door, waiting for him to enter. But he never did.

"Do you know where Riki is?" You asked the boy who was sitting in front of him. You knew Riki didn't have friends, but the cheerful boy seemed to talk to him from time to time.

"You haven't heard? His father died at midnight. None knows where he is. He is probably grieving." Your eyes popped open at the news. Riki had told you that his father was not good, but he didn't mention that he actually had serious health problems.

"W-what? None knows where he is?"

"No." The boy replied, scratching the back of his neck. "The only thing we know is that his father motorbike misses. Now, I don't know if Riki was the one to take it."

The boy continued talking about nonsense you couldn't even hear. Your ears were ringing, thinking about yesterday. All those kisses, and all those promises. He knew.

He knew his father was going to die soon, and he was planning his escape.

Without you.

You started to run outside of the school. The teacher was yelling at you to come back, but his voice soon faded. Rushing towards the exit, you made your way outside. There were still a few students left talking about the same topic.

"I heard his son knew he would die and didn't ask for a doctor."

"He let his father die? How cruel."

"If I was his father, I would have drowned him at the cursed sea." The group of students started laughing. They were laughing at Riki's imaginary death.

They didn't know. None of them did. How his father abused him every day, and he was forced to sleep in a small storage. He hardly had a meal per day, and he was always wondering on the roads.

Wait, cursed sea? You went towards the group, joining them.

"What do you mean by cursed sea?" You gripped one of the male's shoulder. The students got surprised, seeing a crying girl suddenly join them like that.

"Um, you don't know? Everyone knows in our village that the Gods cursed the sea under the fish market. None swims there."

None expect Riki. And you. It wasn't fair; you had no idea. Riki knew about the cursed sea, but he didn't believe in things like that. Yet in a moment like this, it sounded true in your ears.

"Riki is innocent!" You blurted out, tears running down your cheeks like a river. "You have no idea how his father was, so why do you judge him?! He deserved to die, Riki deserves to live!"

The group was left with open mouths at your break down. Your mascara had dripped down your eyes, but the tears were so many that they cleared the stains. You felt like you couldn't breathe, and you clenched the cloth which was protecting your heart.

"Riki is good. You don't get to judge him! Get him out of your shitty mouths!" And after that, you ran and ran at the cursed sea.

It was the sea's fault. If you and Riki hadn't swum there, now you could be in his arms. He would trail kisses down your neck. And then, you would talk to him about your life in Tokyo, and he would listen. He always did.

You rushed down the stairs, but fell down on the last step. Your chin started bleeding, and your uniform teared. Maybe he is here. You were sure that he was swimming right now, forgetting his worries.

"Riki!" You screamed at the top of your lungs. Now he would come and save you. The tiny rocks underneath pierced your skin, and your blood painted some of them red.

You had to stand up. Go find him. He was here. You were sure he was here.

"Riki!" You screamed once again, hoping he will appear. The tears couldn't stop, all the memories coming like light in your mind. Your hands got shaped into fists, pushing on the hard ground.

'Why can't I stand up?'

"Why I can't fucking stand up?!" A female worker from the market heard your voice and walked down the stairs. Her jaw fell open when she saw you laying on the ground.

"Miss, are you alright?" She rushed down and leaned on your level. Putting her knees on the ground, she came face to face with you. That's when she noticed your red eyes, crying for your lover.

"No." You choked on your sob. "No, I am not."

After that she took you to the hospital. You had fallen unconscious from how much you were crying. They put you in the room ten, and you stayed there for a day.

Your mom was worried, your dad was worried. Everyone was worried. Yet your mind could only think of Riki. He had left you alone to chase his dream.

You didn't belong in his dream. But he belonged to yours.

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．*One year later*

"It's summer. Do you think Riki might visit?" The brown-haired girl asked, sipping her orange juice. It was lunchtime, and you were sitting with her outside of school. There were some stone stairs next to the sinks. None was sitting there.

After Riki left, you wouldn't leave your bed. You were in a serious state, and when you returned to school, you were sure none would want to talk to you. None but the girl next to you. Your only friend after Riki.

"No, I don't think so." You replied, a smile creeping your lips. Every time someone mentioned Riki's name, you couldn't help the smile on your lips. A sad one, but still a smile. A better reaction than the one you had a year ago, at least.

"And? Are you happy about it?" She asked when she noticed your smile. At first she hesitated to talk to you about him, now though she had grown courage.

You weren't over him. You will never be. But at least you remembered him as a beautiful memory and not a painful one. Giggles left your mouth when you heard her question. The respond too obvious.

"Of course not. He was my first love, after all." Your legs were swinging back and forth, the smile never leaving your lips. "You know, he had told me a lot of times how much he wanted to leave. I thought he would get me too, but it's alright."

"Maybe it's better that way." You blurted out your deepest thoughts. She was the first person to hear them. "If he had taken me with him, it would be way harder for him to move on. I couldn't heal him, so I hope he can heal by himself."

"One last question." She said, biting her lower lip. "Why do you always sit by the sea? You know it's cursed, right?"

Your smile got wider, eager to reply to her last question. A laugh escaped your mouth at the thought of Riki hearing this. Oh, he would laugh at her face.

"Because he did. He loved sitting by the sea. If he returns, this will be the first place he will visit."

"And what if he never does?"

He won't come. You knew that. You had thought about such a day for this entire year, but it was only a fantasy.

"Then I will go find him."

_____________________

A/N: I kinda wanted to end this with Riki coming back to get her. But I left it like this for more angst.

© all rights reserved to me — i do not allow anyone to copy, translate, or repost my works. all my stories are purerly fictional.

[mapileonxputellas]

Hola (Alexia Putellas x Reader)

Request found here. Yes! Yes! Yes! Love this! So I contemplated making this a bit more saucy but then I wasn't too sure so this is like just sexual tension! 3.5k words x

If your friends and family had to describe you using one word, it would be confident. You learnt from a young age confidence is everything in sport, especially being a striker, without that you would never be where you are today. That confidence was needed to take you on your next journey and led you to Barcelona. Having spent your whole career at Arsenal, from the academy to a regular player, when it came to renewing your contract you felt that now was the right time to make the change, at the age of 25 you were ready for a new challenge. Having made a name for yourself in the WSL and in the Euro’s, when Barcelona approached you it seemed like the perfect fit. Having Lucy and Keira also making the move was a massive help to you, settling into the city together and having someone you could speak English to with your very basic Spanish knowledge.

What you would say was definitely your best season to date was rewarded with a Ballon d’Or nomination, though you knew it was already staying in the arms of your current teammate. A teammate who you were yet to meet. Though you’d been in Barcelona for over two months now and were loving your new life and teammates, it seemed like fate didn’t want you and Alexia to meet. Even though she was injured she still attended the odd training session but you never seemed to be in the same place.

You knew that would change today as you arrived at the pick-up point to head to the airport, you would be heading off with the men’s team and staying overnight before making your way back to Barcelona tomorrow. Asisat, Lucy and Frida had already arrived by the time you got on the coach, sitting at a table to yourself, but you were just missing the final leading lady.

You could hear the commotion at the front as she arrived, greeting the men’s players before joining your group at the back and the first thing you noticed was how attractive she was in real life. Of course she was attractive on photos but in real life she definitely hit another level.

“Hola,” She finally came around to greeting you with a little smile as she took the seat opposite you. “I can’t believe this is the first time we’ve met.”

“I was beginning to think we never would, it’s like you’ve been avoiding me.” You replied, which received a wink in return. “Are you excited?”

“Si, if not just to spend the night with you.”

“Always the charmer Putellas.”

“Always.”

If this was any other situation you would be the first to spark up the conversation but for some reason the girl in front of you was making you nervous, the odd look shared between the two of you but for the most part the conversation was initiated by the others in the group.

Not much changed on the short plane journey either though Lucy did bring up an awkward topic on the group after you’d all moved around one table on the private jet, Alexia to one side of you as Lucy was opposite you with Frida and Asisat.

“So how’s Ana?” Lucy tried to tease you with that cunning look in her eye that you knew so well.

“I mean I think she’s fine, why’d you ask me?”

“Oh come on we can all see it, you two are like always together.”

Whilst that may have been true and you had made a good friend in Ana, there was nothing more than that to it but before you could reply Alexia made her feelings known. “Wow and you say I have good charm.”

“I never said mine isn’t better but just to confirm we’re friends, I can’t just spend my whole time third wheeling you and Keira.”

“That makes a change.”

…..

The rest of the journey carried on in the same vain, mostly just a lot of you and Lucy teasing each other and the other girls joining in. You kind of wished you would have had a bit of time to get to know Alexia, of course you were going to be teammates at some point but the girl next to you intrigued you. You were alike in many ways in that you exuded confidence on the pitch but you wanted to know about the other side to her.

Arriving at the hotel, the club had organised a make up artist for each individual player in their rooms and all was going well until you realised once she had left you had no-one to help you get ready. If there’s one thing you were known for other than football it was your quite bold fashion statements and this time you had chosen a cream suit with a lacy bralette showing underneath attached to a chocker made of pearls. You’d barely even got through the first piece without encountering an issue and that came in the form of your bra which had a set of hook and eyes leading up to the neck. You tried with all your might but you just could not get them to do up properly, which left you with only one choice and that was to go and get some help. The problem was that you hadn’t taken enough notice of who was in the rooms around you and you knew the girls probably wouldn’t answer their phones.

Taking a deep breath you fixed the bathroom robe over the loose garment and went out into the hallway and with no idea who’s it was, knocked on the door across from your own.

Things could not get much more awkward as the girl you only met today opened the door, already in her own dress. “Hola, are you not going to get ready?” You barely heard the question as you took her whole outfit in, from the slick back ponytail to the incredible dress, she looked amazing. “Y/N!”

“Sorry, I was hoping you could help me, it’s got a fiddly fastening.”

“You better come in then.”

“Thank you.” You walked further into the room, noticing the stark contrast in her organised room compared the chaos behind your door. “You look good by the way, more than good, incredible actually….”

“I’d return the compliment but I don’t think you’re going in that bath robe.”

“No this is for your eyes only.”

“I’m honoured.”

Turning your back to her, your first instinct was to just drop the bath robe completely but you only realised once it was too late that doing so left you stood in someone else’s room in only a see-through bra and matching thong, quickly bending down to secure it round your waist. “Sorry.”

“No don’t apologise for that.” Her cold hands left shivers down your spine as she lightly made contact with your back whilst doing up the fasteners, continuing to work her way up until she reached the final one. “Cold? You’ve got goosebumps, I thought it was pretty warm in here.”

“Something like that.” You quickly muttered before pulling your robe back up. “I’ll see you later.”

“I look forward to it.” Just as you went to open the door a hand on your back stopped you. “You look great too by the way, breath-taking.”

“Smooth talker Putellas.”

“Like you said, I’m a charmer.”

You quickly escaped the room before your cheeks became anymore red, completing the outfit with your matching suit and killer heels that your stylist had forced you to wear. Forgoing a bag, you stuffed your phone into the inner pocket before rushing down to meet the others, knowing you were already slightly behind schedule.

“Here she is.” Lucy announced your arrival as you walked into the entrance hall, all eyes on you as you grabbed a quick glass of water before the photos started.

As Alexia and yourself were the highest in contention for the main award, you took your places in the middle of the group photos, Alexia to your left and Gavi to your right. “I was right, you look incredible.” Alexia whispered in your ear as everyone settled around you, her arm wrapped around your waist much like your own onto hers. “Fucking incredible.”

“Can’t let down La Reina over here”

It felt like you were stood there for hours taking photos, different combinations of people with the president coming in for some and the managers joining for others, but finally you were loaded off into the cars to the venue.

“Now I can’t get rid of you.” Alexia joked as she joined you in the car for just the two of you, a healthy amount of distance between you both as the car started though you could still feel her eyes trailing up and down your body. “Do you have a stylist for events?”

“They offer suggestions and then I have the final choice, this was my suggestion though. I don’t know suits kind of make me feel powerful, in control. Some might say dominant.” Now it was your time to turn on the charm as you could see her slightly moving in her seat. “What do you think?”

“You definitely look dominant right now.”

“Good.”

“Do you enjoy evenings like this? The paparazzi are always crazy at anything like this.”

“I like that we’re finally getting the chance to have some praise for our achievements. Interviews and all that don’t bother me, it’s just the initial photos. I don’t know sometimes the bright lights panic me, I know it’s stupid because we play in front of thousands every week but just standing there….”

“It’s not stupid.” She reassured you, gently placing her hand over your own on the middle seat, lightly tracing her finger over your hand. “No-one is the same on that field and with our family and friends as we are with the media.”

“What about you, you must be getting used to this all now?”

“I’m still not comfortable with it but I just know that tonight I’ll just be getting questions on the whole Spain situation and the injury. Like if I win, no-one will even be talking about the football.” She was obviously trying to be conservative but everyone knew Alexia would be the one taking the award home tonight.

“You’ve just got to remember you’ve had an amazing season and you got voted to be in this position, no-one can say you don’t deserve it.”

“I won’t say it was a positive because it was a shit time all round but this injury did mean that I got to watch a lot of you at the Euro’s and you deserved the player of the tournament. If anyone should win tonight it’s you.”

“Thank you.”

….

All too soon you arrived at the venue, the red carpet lined with photographers up to the interviewer at the end. You could feel the panic in your chest when you all stood for the photos but the ever-present hand on your back from Alexia grounded you. Every few minutes she would check you were fine before the both of you conducted a joint interview.

“Alexia how does it feel to be nominated tonight for your second Ballon d’Or in a row? You’ve got stiff competition this year.” The woman asked.

“It feels incredible to be here tonight, celebrating football and how it can be enjoyed by everyone regardless of their gender. The competition this year just shows how competitive the women’s game is and I’m in awe of every single player nominated tonight, including Y/N.”

“Y/N this is your first Ballon d’Or, you had an incredible summer but would winning tonight top it all off? Is this awkward trying to steal Alexia’s crown?”

“It was an incredible summer and of course it was nice being nominated but I know what incredible season’s everyone on that list had. In terms of Alexia, she’s an incredible player and she deserves this award, I’m just glad I can spend more time with her this season and I’ll see if she can give me any tips.”

“Good luck tonight girls.”

“Thank you.”

Both Alexia and yourself were shortlisted into the top 5 players and had managed to be seated next to each other as you awaited the final results and for the winner to be announced. Before the camera panned to yourselves you leaned over in the seat to whisper into her ear. “Good luck making the speech if you get nervous just picture me earlier. You know the effect you had on me, I wanted to be powerful tonight and you made me want to get on my knees for you.”

“And the winner of the Ballon d’Or is… Alexia Putellas.”

You thought she would just send you a smile before walking onto the stage but she leaned over to pull you in for a hug instead her arms low on your waist, taking the chance to whisper in your ear. “You don’t understand how much self-control it took to not rip that off you.” Thankfully she managed to compose herself, quickly making her way up to the stage, you watched on almost in awe as she nailed the speech, thanking her teammates and her family and friends before she looked your way. “I also want to applaud and congratulate my fellow nominees, I for one cannot wait to see you all thrive this year, especially those at Barca, we all have so much to show one another and the world. Thank you.”

@yourusername: Ballon d'Or 2022.

Comments:

@/alexiaputellas: 🔥🔥 photo creds?

↪️ @yourusername: always ❤️

…..

That night felt like months ago though in reality it was only a few weeks, the only negative being that straight after the awards Alexia was whisked away and didn’t even travel back with you all. The most disappointing thing for you came in the lack of contact between the two of you, she’d probably forgotten all about you once the night was over. It’s fair to say you hadn’t though, you could remember all the tension you felt between you both, the spark you felt when her hands touched your skin. Everything. You’d kept an eye out for her during the training sessions but you never spotted the girl who was in your thoughts all the time.

Two weeks had passed since the ceremony and you were celebrating a 2-1 win over Levante having scored both of the goals.

“Y/N I’ll pick you up tonight.” Ana shouted just as you were about to leave the changing room. “9 alright with you?”

“I’ll be ready, thanks.”

The team had organised to celebrate with a few drinks at an exclusive bar, come club, that had recently opened. With it being an evening kick off you only had a few hours to get ready and into the outfit you had chosen, a black silk shirt and skirt combo which you left open at the front.

“You look great.” Ana said as I got into her car that night. “Out to impress anyone?”

“Only myself.” Through spending a lot of time with Ana you’d told her vaguely about what happened that night, she tried to persuade you to just message Alexia but your nerves of getting rejected pushed you back each time.

“Good for you.”

“How’s your girl been?” Ana had also confided in you that she had been dating someone but didn’t want to make it public just yet.

“Really good, I have officially have a girlfriend now.”

“Shut up! I’m really happy for you Ana.”

“Thank you, now we just need to get you one.”

Arriving at the club you spotted all the girls in a private section, stopping at the bar for a shot to take the edge off and a drink for yourself and Ana as a thank you. After the initial welcomes, you took your spot on the dance floor, messing around with a few of the girls, letting your hair down and forgetting about the pressures of being a footballer.

That came tumbling down when you spotted the brunette in the corner of the room, her eyes trailed on you as she nursed her drink. Your eyes locked together, neither managing to turn away as you continued to dance with Ingrid and she tried to vaguely listen to what Mapi was saying.

“Are you even listening to me?” Mapi asked, noticing Alexia was barely even focusing on their chat anymore. Following her eyes she was met with you dancing with her girlfriend, your eyes though only meeting the girl next to her. “Wow I didn’t know you two even knew each other.”

“We don’t… not really anyway.”

“But you find her attractive.”

“Of course I do, I mean have you seen the girl.”

“Follow her.” Mapi almost pushed the Ballon d’Or winner out of her seat noticing your retreating figure. “Go.”

“I’m going.”

“Don’t come back without her.”

You didn’t know how long you could take the tension out there, even across the room it felt like she was invading all your senses. Retreating into the bathroom you took a deep breath, giving yourself a silent peptalk in the mirror.

“Hey.” Your thoughts were interrupted as Alexia walked into the bathroom, leaning on the counter next to you. “I thought you’d forgotten who I was.”

“I thought you’d forgotten about me.”

“I’m sorry about that night, I really wanted to spend the night with you girls, especially you, but then the media duties took over and I had to spend an extra night in Paris.” She admitted, her hand coming up to stroke down your face as you lent into her touch. “I thought I must have read the signals wrong when you didn’t message me.”

“I was waiting for you to message me.” You admitted. “I thought I misread the signals. I guess we both got the situation wrong.”

“Where’s little miss confident gone?”

“What can I say? You make me nervous, even tonight I would usually be the first to go over but you just paralysed me.”

“I saw you arriving with Ana and I didn’t want to make a fool of myself by approaching you.”

Before you had the time to reply you could feel footstep approaching and grabbed Alexia’s hand to lock yourselves in a cubicle, a mere few inches between you both that were immediately removed as you backed her into the wall behind her.

“I thought I told you there was nothing going on there.” Every inch of your bodies was touching as you left no room between you both, your lips grazing her ear as you tried to whisper. “She’s not the one I think about in bed, she’s not the one who’s hands I can feel on my back when I’m alone.” You traced your hands up her sides in the cut out of her dress, you could feel both your hearts racing as her leg wrapped around your thigh.  “She doesn’t drive me crazy after one meeting.”

“I’m guessing she doesn’t do this then.”

Before you even had the chance to reply she’d propelled you backwards, your legs instinctively wrapping around her waist as her lips crashed down onto yours. You’d never felt like this just from a kiss before as her tongue battled with your own, one hand holding you up whilst the other knotted itself in your hair. You own hands wrapping around her neck. She definitely had the smoothest lips you’d ever felt as her lips detached from your own only to trail down your neck, sucking on your sweet spot.

“Stop.” You whispered before crashing your lips together once again, not wanting her to leave a mark.

This time when you separated you stayed in close proximity, your forehead resting on her own as she let you get down. “Did you not have anyone to help you today? You seem to be missing something.” From her position she could see your lack of clothing underneath your shirt.

“I should have asked Ana.”

“Say that again.”

“Maybe Ana might not want to help.” Even though you knew that was a complete lie you couldn’t help but tease the other woman as her anger began to show. “Especially if we lose contact again.”

“I’m not sure that would be a good idea when I’m the one you’re thinking about.” You should have known she would use that against you. “Let me take you out on a proper date, maybe you can tell me about these dreams you’ve been having.”

“I’d like that.” You admitted. “About the date.”

“Of course.”

Taking one final glance at you, she pecked your lips once more and gave your behind a pat to move out of the cubicle. Only there you were met with Mapi and Ingrid washing their hands at the sink, your cheeks blushing as your eyes locked with their smirks.

“Good night?”

“You have no idea.”

[viburnt]

Heyyy loved your Izuku story, made me want to request one with the prompt "How could I do that to him/her?" Maybe someone is flirting with adult Izuku but he already has a partner and is very loyal OR maybe having an interview where the host makes a joke/insinuation he should go and take advantage that he is famous to meet many more people

Whatever you prefer 💖thank you

I hope I managed to convey the feelings you expected, Anon! Have some loyal dog Izuku *smooch* Also Pro-hero!Izuku is a smart crowd pleaser, he knows how to play his cards and outsmart malicious people. Also you didn't specify any gender so I went with gender neutral.

-Viburnt

𝐈𝐳𝐮𝐤𝐮 𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐲𝐚 || 𝐓.𝐕 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐬

— Welcome, everyone! Today, we're here with Japan's latest big shot and number one pro-hero, Deku! We are so excited that you were able to have some time for us, darling.— The model serving as a hostess said, her body language exaggerated, and her outfit provocative to gauge higher ratings for the show.

Izuku hadn't really planned to participate in the program, but after you convinced him to do so, he agreed; you'd always supported his career, so you encouraged him to engage with his fans often.

Izuku just wished it had been with a less slimy host, feeling uncomfortable with the frequent lascivious looks the model would throw at him.

—Thank you for having me.— The man said with his classic charming smile. —It's a pleasure to be here with you guys.

—Say, Deku, you've become quite an icon lately. Your popularity is almost as high as mine!— The woman joked, eliciting a slight laugh from the live public. —Have you grown used to being a groundbreaker?

Midoriya bashfully looked at her, feeling her eyes checking him out from head to toe as she spoke.

—Well, the hero life is a difficult path, I have to admit that.— He started, trying to formulate an answer that would suffice. —But it's something I love, and I'm trying to be the best at it.

The model nodded in understanding, allowing her hand to roam to the muscles of his arm.

—Absolutely! We are very alike in that aspect, you know?— She commented, giving a slight squeeze to his biceps. It was getting on Izuku's nerves. —It wouldn't be too far-fetched to be together as a couple.— He heard her say with a wink, the audience having mixed reactions to her blatant flirting.

—Don't you think we'd make a picture-perfect power couple?

Midoriya felt disgust towards the hostess, feeling overwhelmed by her constant indecency. "Talk about basking in reflected glory," he thought, wishing he could get away from her.

—Haha, well, I appreciate your interest, but I'm afraid I'm not available.— He answered with an unfaltering grin; even if it hadn't been long since he had first debuted as a pro-hero, he'd learnt a thing or two about managing his looks while facing the public eye.

The model pouted, pressing the matter even more.

— Just think of the headlines! We could be an 'it' couple.— She added to her desperate attempt to convince him. —Besides, wouldn't you prefer to change your old partner for a brand new model? You'd be the envy of your colleagues.

The public awkwardly laughed at the hostess' behavior. It was funny the first time, they'd guessed, but after a while, it just felt uncomfortable– Even they could sense the uneasiness in Izuku through his charismatic facade.

—How could I do that to them?— Midoriya answered, shaking his head. —I love my partner; they are the best. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.

A loud wave of clapping and cheering soared after his answer, moved by the vulnerability and sweetness behind those words. Izuku swore he'd heard a man scream "I love you" at him.

—Hey, baby, if you are watching the show like you promised, wait for me for dinner.— Izuku said to one of the cameras, referring to you as he took his leave from the scene.

For a few weeks, the whole interview fiasco had spread on every social media platform, but every single post had one thing in common: they all agreed that Izuku was loyal to you.

[turtleboyo22]

Cyno is not known for his capacity for joy. Whether cracking jokes or saving lives, Cyno never displays even an ounce of emotion on his face. For this, the General Mahamatra commands fear and respect across all of Sumeru. After all, it's hard not to cower away from a man whose expression lends nothing of itself to anyone.

As for Cyno himself, he is not ignorant enough not to have noticed how those around him act when he's there. He's hyper aware of the effect his entrance will inevitably have on a room, tense silence sucking the air from everyone else's lungs. Though this can be useful for a great many of Cyno's duties, he can't help but feel somewhat resentful of the reputation he has cultivated.

In spite of what the majority of people may believe, though, Cyno spends most of his free time quite content, joking around and enjoying life's leisures. Still, those who witness him outside of work from a far may assume that he's as serious as ever due to his perpetually neutral expression. It is only those who truly know Cyno that understand that the man does not lack emotions, but rather he merely displays his in an abnormal way. In fact, for the people who know Cyno, his joy especially is not only obvious, but also exceedingly common.

The only problem is when Cyno's job requires him to comfort those who don't know him. His expressionless face and toneless voice aren't the most soothing, and his blunt way of speaking certainly doesn't help the issue. Even his jokes can't save him, as most people just stare at him blankly afterwards. This is also what made it so difficult when the general rescued a young girl; he had no idea how to make her feel less scared of him.

When Cyno first brought Collei back to Sumeru, the young girl couldn't help but fear him. After all, ever since she was a young child she had been surrounded by people who wanted nothing more than to harm her. She underwent experiment after excruciating experiment day after day for the first 10 years of her life, all while battling a life-long illness and finding out her parents had died. When Cyno had found her, Collei was still adjusting to the idea of people treating her with kindness. Her past combined with Cyno's stern disposition compounded into Collei being afraid of the man who was trying to save her. She thought it was silly, looking back.

Collei first saw Cyno happy a week after she was brought to Sumeru. Cyno had come to visit her and Tighnari to see how she was settling in and Collei found herself playing card games at a too small dinner table with her newfound guardians. Cyno had been telling puns throughout the evening, a past time of the man's that Collei had yet to become accustomed to, but Tighnari's defeated expression told her it was commonplace.

In any case, one joke in particular caught Collei's attention: "I don't think we should play poker today," Cyno said. "Why not, Cyno? You usually jump at the opportunity to beat me at everything," Tighnari snarked, making Collei smile. She'd adjusted to her new master's occasional sass over the past week, meaning she'd learnt there was no malice behind his words. "Well Collei has already been through so much, I wouldn't want to hurt her more."

A beat of silence.

"Do you not understand the joke? You see, poker sounds like poke her. As in I'd be poking Collei, harming her further. But also it's the game's name," Cyno explained.

Another beat.

"Cyno," Tighnari groaned, covering his frustration with a hand over his face. "I thought it was funny," Cyno said, stoney tone and twin expression both very much still intact. "It was insensitive to Collei," Tighnari argued, "you can't just say things like that."

"But why not? All three of us know that she's had to endure a lot of pain in the past. It's not a secret," Cyno argued back.

And as their bickering continued, Collei found herself smiling. She was fond of them, she realised, fond of the men who had rescued her and fond of their playful arguing. Her smile grew until a small laugh escaped her mouth, more and more following until she was giggling. She couldn't remember the last time she laughed.

Cyno and Tighnari immediately shut up, snapping round to look at Collei in shock. She'd barely spoken since she arrived at Tighnari's hut, and now she was giggling. "Told you it was funny," Cyno gloated and Collei couldn't help it. She was full on laughing now, arms wrapped around her torso as her cheeks ached with joy.

Tighnari started to chuckle a bit then, so endeared by Collei's antics. Cyno just watched the two. From afar, anyone would've thought it cold but typical of the general mahamatra. He did not smile nor did he laugh. In fact, he was so expressionless that he seemed almost detached. But Tighnari knew better, and Collei was starting to as well.

Cyno's shoulders had relaxed, Collei noted, not realising they were ever tense until they weren't anymore. As her laughter died down, she also noticed how Cyno's eyebrows were less bunched up now, highlighting the newfound pink of his cheeks and red of his ears.

"Proud of yourself?" Tighnari teased the man, but there was no bite to his words. It was clear Tighnari had noticed Cyno's sudden change in demeanor, attempting to prolong Cyno's (and Collei's) joy for as long as possible by jabbing further. The softness of Cyno's movements as his hand found its place upon Tighnari's put Collei at ease. Perhaps she could find a home here with these two afterall. After all, this was the safest she'd felt in years.

[tillthelandslide]

Same For You (9): Our Secret

Series Warnings: slow burn romance, eventual smut, age gap, complicated relationship (low-key unhealthy dynamics), eventual love...

Series Masterlist

(8) Studio Sessions

Taglist: @scooby-doodoo @thereisaplaceintheheart @theoriginalwhatsername @eaglestar31 @thefrontofmymind @fallingforel @partoftheairforce @procrastinatinglikeapro @poisonmedaddy13 @xthe1975 @all-things-fic @jstbeeingme @rossgirly @juliardk @you-muppet @moodyyyychickx (add yourself using the link in my bio 😊)

The band are cramped into the small corridor which was considered "back stage", she was pacing up and down what little room she had. They did this gig every week, the band were a contracted performer, they did an hour every single Saturday but today was different. She was nervous and unbelievably so. She was worried she'd forget the lyrics, or she'd mess up on the guitar and throw the whole band off.

Matty and Jamie had invited so many people, too many. The pairs friends, some of whom worked within the industry filled out the room, there was barely any space for incomers, but she didn't mind, knowing the guys who were now her friends, would be smiling up at her on that stage. She knew they'd be at the same table they were sat at that first night. It had been four weeks since then, she had spent most days with them since that day, but so much had changed. They were her friends now, that felt odd to admit but they were her friends. She knew they had her back but she was still unbelievably anxious.

The small door creaks open and her head snaps far too quickly to the noise, almost giving herself whiplash. Her nerves settle somewhat when she sees the curly haired man smiling widely at her. He was clad in black suit trousers, white shirt tucked in, the sleeves slightly rolled up. She couldn't deny, he looked good. She's instantly reminded of the still fairly new revelation that she did indeed fancy him, liked him even.

"There she is, woman of the hour" he says, stepping towards her, hugging her before she got the chance to deny him. He smells like cigarettes but his scent peeks through too, something comparable to cedar wood, or sandal wood, she wasn't sure. A spicy undertone lingers and something earthy too. She learnt that, the scent was the perfume he chose to wear, but through all that, through the cigarettes and the perfume, there was him: he smelt musky and warm but also sweet, he smelt, like Matty.

"I hate you" she breathes out, voice barely coming out. His eyes widen and he releases a puff of air through his noise, silently laughing at her words. The confession doesn't surprise him (even though it wasn't true) Matty was half expecting this day to come, the day where she hated him, he thought most people ended up hating him eventually. Not with her though, she knew no matter what he did, no matter how harsh or unjustified, she'd always be there, wanting him in her life, unable to hate him, for he was her... in some ways.

"What have I done now?" He asks, half joking, pulling back to look at her.

"There's so many people out there Matty!" She says, lightly hitting his chest.

"Hey!" He says, gently grasping her wrist which landed against his chest, his thumb grazes the skin, back and forth twice before he lets go "you'll be fine. I know you will" he says and she can't help but believe him.

"You can't be back here Healy' they hear Clara say, both turning towards her. Of course she's joking but Matty still raises his arms up in surrender, slowly backing up to leave through the door he came in.

"You'll be fine okay? You've got this" he says and she nods. He thinks about telling her how good she looked, but ultimately decides not to. Ross.

As soon as he leaves her nerves are back and she's pacing again. She does a total of four lengths of the corridor, her bandmates doing their own rituals. Jay drumming a beat on his leg, Clara smoking a joint, Abbie with her eyes shut, thinking of something completely unknown to Y/n. Four lengths and the door is creaking back open, she turns again seeing Ross. Her already laboured breath almost stops completely as she sees him. He stopped her world from spinning momentarily, until it's only her and him and them, together. Until its spinning again, faster than it does with anyone else. She knew no matter how hard she tried to describe her feelings towards him, she would fall short. He was everything, since the first day and every day since.

His hair is up in a neat bun and his beard looks as if it's been freshly groomed. His smell invades her senses and her eyes rake down his body quickly, trying not to make her desire or attraction too obvious.

He was dressed in black suit trousers and a white shirt, almost identical to Matty. His sleeves aren't rolled and sit properly against his wrists, but her eyes fall to his chest, revealed by undone buttons at the top of his shirt. The first two are undone but the third is loose and she feels a need to pluck it undone, revealing more of him. She notices the necklace around his neck, a simple chain and her knees almost buckle at the sight.

Images flash through her head, images where she tugs against the chain, sending his lips against hers, sending him forward, into her. She wills the thoughts away, forcing a smile onto her lips.

"Hi" he smiles, taking in her outfit now, she wears an outfit consisting of all black, black trousers that flare slightly but hug her tightly, extenuating her thighs and bum. Her top is a soft cotton like material but is a corset style, the middle dips fairly low and Ross actively has to stop himself looking at the swell of her breasts. The fabric stops at her waist, curved in a v, the middle piece hitting the top of her belly button, meaning a small slither of skin was revealed and he almost swears when he sees the shimmer of a piercing. They shouldn't be thinking these thoughts, having these feelings, wanting what they so desperately wanted. They knew that more than anything else, fully aquatinted with the idea now.

"Hi" he forces out, his voice gravelly and it sends thrills through her body. He apprehensively steps forward,not wanting to break the bubble that surrounded them. But he wanted to be closer to her. So he pushes his desire down, his features turning softer as he smiles at her.

"Matty invited a lot of people" her voice shakes slightly and he immediately knows she's nervous. His hands find her hips, lightly pulling her closer.

"And Jamie..." Ross says and he feels her nod.

Her arms weave around his back, resting against his shoulder blades as she tucks her head into his lower chest, she nuzzles there, smelling him secretly as she does. She feels the muscles contract under her touch as his own arms wander up from her hips, seizing her small waist, squeezing the flesh once before his grasp loosens.

She feels the ghost of his lips against her head.

"You're going to smash it" he says and she leans back to look at him.

"What if I forget the words... Or mess up on the guitar and throw off the others?" her voice is rushed and Ross breathes deeply, a silent reminder that she should too. She mimics his actions, her shoulders slumping as she does, a weight lifted almost immediately. She was surprised by how quickly he grounded her.

"You won't... And if you do, just laugh it off... Breathe and carry on okay? We all mess up sometimes... I still do to this day" he says, his words making her feel better.

"Okay..."

"And I'll be there okay? Just look at me if you need to" he offers and she nods, hugging him one last time before he's walking backwards to leave.

His back meets the door and he begins pushing it slightly, not before a smirk settles on his lips.

"Look good by the way" he says, eyes dancing across her figure, slow and torturous, and then he's gone.

"Jesus Christ" she murmurs, clutching her thighs and shaking her head, reminding herself to get her head out of the clouds, out of the gutter.

"He wants you so bad" she feels a hand on her shoulder and she turns, Abbie staring down at her and smirking.

"Stop... You know we can't"

"doesn't mean you don't want to... And I don't blame you, he's hot" she stares at the door that he left through.

"Need I remind you, you're gay Abbie?" She asks and Abbie laughs, shrugging.

"Exactly... I'm gay and that man is still fucking fine" y/n laughs at that, before she lets Abbie lead her to the rest of the band. They form a circle, arms wrapping around each other's shoulders.

"Let's go out there and show them what we've got aye?" Jay asks and Clara and Abbie nod. Their eyes all fall on her and Jay raises his eyebrows.

"You're fucking amazing. Remember that. You've got this" Jay says and she nods.

"Yeah. yeah!" She says, they're all then letting out howls and barks like a bunch of maniacs, something they always did to make each other laugh before a show, to ease the tension. The band make their way onto the stage before she does but she pokes her head around the side, spotting the boys and Jamie, all smiling as the band take their places, she watches as they cheer, George placing his fingers in his mouth and blowing out a loud whistle.

She then walks on and everyone's cheers grow louder making her smile and laugh, shaking her head as she looks out. She smiles and waves at the small group of people who attend every week, they cheer for her.

"Damn there really is a lot of you here tonight" she hears Clara say and she smiles, hands grasping her own microphone, adjusting it slightly.

"We're 'The Love Of Thieves' and we're going to perform some covers... but also some original songs tonight... This is one we wrote with some friends of ours" her eyes flick to the back of the venue, spotting the boys, all of whom smile widely at her, Matty putting his thumbs up at her.

They begin playing one of the songs they had recorded with the guys, a track titled "Feel It Coming"

"can see it in your eyes, I can feel your body shake, I look at you and see myself , A broken mirror that tears and breaks, A victim of my own reflection, Staring down the barrel of a loaded gun" she sings, her voice is slightly shaky but it's not overly obvious. Her eyes land on Ross who mouths a "breathe", she does and instantly feels better.

They all join in on the chorus, harmonies sounding perfect and the crowd really love it. She can see Jamie filming them on his phone and she smiles, flashing him a toothy grin, knowing it would probably end up on his story with a plea to join Dirty Hit. She also sees Matty filming, and she smiles at him too, he holds a thumb up at her again.

"I can feel it coming, feel it coming, feel it coming, Can't you see it in my eyes, I can see the truth inside, I can feel it coming, feel it coming, I can feel it!" They continue pushing until the song ends and everyone cheers.

"Thank you!" She says, smiling across at the people, scanning the crowd once over.

"This is really cool... Thanks for coming everyone, we do this show every Saturday, but tonight feels very special" she says, eyes landing on the boys at the back of her venue again, blushing slightly when they smile back widely at her.

"This next one is one of my favourites..." she says, beginning to play "The Chain" by Fleetwood Mac.

"If they come on tour with us... they're playing this" Jamie says, turning to the boys, all of whom nod.

"She's amazing..." Ross says, eyes trained on her. Adam, George, Jamie and Matty all look at him, all sensing the same thing. He was obsessed.

"Damn you're so whipped and she's not even your girl" George says, making the other guys laugh (Matty's is forced)

"Shut up" Ross mumbles. Matty's eyes never leave the man, sighing to himself. He deserved her, Ross was good and so was she, he had to remind himself of that.

They perform some more songs and a cover or two, eventually finishing their set and thanking everyone for coming again. Ross is on his feet before she's even stepped a foot off the stage and he meets her there, grasping her waist in his hand and swinging her around as he hugs her.

"You're fucking amazing" he says, placing her down as the rest of the group join them.

"Killing it love" Matty says making her smile.

"you really are" she hears Jamie say and she smiles, stepping forward to hug him.

"Good to see you again old man" she jokes and he smiles widely, giving her a side hug, they speak briefly, Jamie checking in on how the band were feeling about the deal, she asks to speak to him privately later.

Before she can say another word her name is being called from behind her and she frowns before she excuses herself.

She finds Abbie who is calling her, her girlfriend Olivia wanting to say hello to her. Ross watches as the two girls hug, he watches as y/n smiles widely, she watches as she laughs with the other two girls, he watches as she turns, eyes not finding his but finding Matty's.

"Matty!" She calls "come here for a second please" and Ross feels jealousy pang in his chest.

Ross watches as Matty comes to stand at her side, hand flat against her lower back, touching the slither of skin that's revealed.

"Matty this is Olivia... Abbie's girlfriend, she's a bit obsessed with you" y/n says making the girl blush.

"Is that so?' Matty says, raising his eyebrows, eyes not leaving hers, despite the other two women staring at him. His eyes eventually leave hers and he smiles at the girl.

"Lovely to meet you" he says kindly, they all continue their conversation and Ross sighs, watching as they laughed, watching as Matty began running his hand down her back slowly.

George notices him staring and states "nothings going on there you know?" He asks And Ross sighs.

"You know I kept telling myself the same thing... Now I'm not sure" he says. The truth is he had no right to be jealous, he knew that, they weren't together, she wouldn't allow that, they were - in her words - just them. He reminded himself daily that she was not his, that she was doing the right thing for her band and for herself, but he couldn't help but want her. It was almost like a basic human need, like water and sleep and food. He needed her like she was air. He knew she was figuring things out with Matty, she was open with him about that, but he couldn't help but feel jealous looking at the pair.

'Figuring things out' left a lot to be imagined, was she figuring out if she liked him? That he could handle, Ross knew Matty better than anyone, knew the guy he truly was, through the 'Truman Black' façade he put across, he also wasn't blind, he knew he was a good looking guy, he knew most people fancied him, hell he was pretty sure he even fancied him to a certain extent. He also knew what Matty was like, truly, he was a true and fierce friend, he was loving and determined and he would die for the ones he loved. He could deal with her figuring out whether she just thought he was hot, he could even deal with the idea of her fancying him a little bit. But her figuring out whether she wanted to be with him instead of Ross? That thought destroyed him.

"They just get each other, they're just friends though" George says, making Ross shake his head in disbelief, but then she's turning to him, smiling widely. She turns back and he frowns, thinking that's it, she sees her say something to the group, but then she's facing him again and walking toward him.

She's at his side next, brushing against him as she talks to the group, listening to their compliments, blushing deeply. Matty is still talking to her band members and she realises Jamie has joined him, but she didn't mind, she had Ross.

She noticed him looking down at her from the corner of her eye and she looks up at him when the conversation shifts way from her.

"Want to go outside for a bit?" He asks and she nods, allowing him to weave his hand into hers and letting him lead them outside. A few people are smoking so he continues around a corner, where no one is standing, not letting her hand go when they stop.

He towers over her and she cranes her head to look up at them. They have two silly happy smiles on their faces and their cheeks begin to hurt with how much they're smiling.

"You're really amazing you know that?" He says and she smiles. Something has shifted between them, it was obvious. Something was present in the air between them... something different, something more.

"You might've mentioned it once or twice" she says, making him chuckle and squeeze her hand. A silence falls between them and she watches as he looks over her, his features slowly falling. She can almost see the wheels turning in his mind and she frowns, knowing something is up.

"What did the girls want to say to Matty?" He asks and the pin drops. Of course this was about Matty.

"Oh nothing really" she laughs "Olivia - Ab's girlfriend, she's low key obsessed with him, it's kind of a big joke between the band, so I was just introducing them" she explains and Ross shakes his head. He was so stupid.

Oh he thinks.

"Oh" he says, feeling like a fool for even thinking it was something else.

"I told you nothing's happening there.... just figuring it out" she says, words trailing off as she looks up at him.

"nothing can happen... With either of you" she says and he frowns, his hand is still holding hers but her words make him feel like he should let go.

"Oh' he repeats sadly.

"It's not a good idea Ross... We're working together now" she says and he realises she has never once said she doesn't want this.

"Come on... You feel this..." He gestures between them "you feel what I feel... Who are we to deny that?' he says, she must admit, he makes a good argument. But she forces herself to shake her head. She couldn't... Not just because they were working together. She just couldn't.

"We can't" she says and he frowns.

"Why?", please don't say Matty he thinks.

"We're working together Ross, we can't be doing this" her words don't sound as convincing anymore and so she lets him step closer, only taking a small step backwards, not really putting that much space between them. She lets his hands run the bare skin of her sides, she lets his large hands clamp around her waist. She lets him step in between her opening thighs, lets him press her against the concrete of the wall.

He lowers his face slowly, eyes flicking from her eyes to her lips, stopping when they were centimetres away, their lips nearly grazing when he speaks.

"I really want to kiss you... I've wanted to kiss you since G's... since the start..." he admits, his breathing is laboured like hers, deep and heavy sighs falling from the other.

"Ross... We shouldn't" but she inches closer to him, tasting the Guinness he had been drinking on his breath. She wanted it too, since the very first time they met and especially since the dinner at George and Charli's.

"We shouldn't" he confirms, making her nod, her bottom lip bumping against his slightly as her head moved up and then down. He's enthralled by the way it bounces slightly and he watches as her tongue runs along it, trying to taste him, despite them barely touching for more than a split second.

"I shouldn't be holding you like his" he says, hands gripping her waist slightly harsher and he has to hold back a grunt at the way her breath hitches.

"I shouldn't be able to feel your skin against mine right now" he says, curling his hand slightly, fingertips moving against the bottom of her top, against her stomach, she feels the knuckles graze her belly button and she gasps.

"I shouldn't be hearing those pretty little noises come from you and I definitely shouldn't be wanting to kiss you' he says and she nods again, lips grazing his again. Except this time she slows when her head moves back down, lips properly grazing his now.

"Stop me..." He demands but she can't.

"Please y/n stop me... Because if I kiss you I'm afraid I won't be able to stop" he says, lips touching hers with every word, yet they still hadn't properly kissed.

"No" she gasps and he's suddenly pushing forwards, lips firmly pressed against hers. He sighs against her mouth and feels her sigh against his. Its like her dream, expect its not a dream, its real this time. He's really there in front of her, with his plump lips that taste like stout and him, moving against hers. He's tangible, she can really touch him and she is, her hands are flying to his chest, feeling the way the muscles contracted under her touch. He was so reactive to her and she loved it.

Her lips are soft against his and he sighs deeply again. His hand is placed against her jaw, thumb moving against her cheek, it's sweet and gentle. He's addicted but he needs more. He's worried more than anything, that she will change her mind, so before that happens he gently runs his tongue across her bottom lip, asking for access which she gladly gives him.

His tongue is warm and possessive when it meets hers, she feels him everywhere and the sensation has her hands drifting up, clinging onto his shoulders harder, making him grunt into her mouth. The sound does something to her, awakens something inside her. She moans and pushes forward, meeting his tongue with equal force and fervour as his. She had never been kissed like this before, she didn't even think kisses could feel like this. This intense... This powerful.

When his tongue pushes more harshly against hers she moans loudly and Ross has to pull back from the kiss to collect himself. His forehead falls against her chest, eyes shutting, hands clamping around her waist before they loosen and sooth against the skin, afraid he's hurt her.

"One sec love..." He says, making her giggle. One hand weaves its way up his back, landing on the nape of his neck, toying with the strands that have slipped from his bun. He hums against her. His head moves upwards, leaning his forehead against hers and his eyes open at the noise, his dark eyes which are ridden with lust, soften and he smiles. A cute, huge one which makes her heart flutter again.

"That was..." His words trail off, for he can't come up with a word adequate to describe that kiss. She nods, understanding what he means. His brown orbs flick between her eyes and lips again, sighing, his hand grasps her face in his hold again, thumb trailing down across her cheek until he's grazing her bottom lip which is more swollen than usual. His eyes follow the movement of his thumb, watching the way her mouth dips open slightly, before pursing slightly, kissing the pad of his thumb. That has his eyes snapping upwards to hers, they smile in sync, perfectly timed.

"Sorry love. I just need one more" he says, pressing his mouth to hers again. She takes what he gives, needing it now, she knew this shouldn't be happening, but now she had it, she wouldn't be able to stop. His mouth envelops her bottom lip, tugging it slightly, mouth opening, head turning, lips moving against each other so naturally it's like they've done it a thousand times before. Kissing her is like playing bass, it feels natural, it feels right and he is convinced it was what he was born to do.

"Ross" she murmurs, pulling away slightly.

"We can't tell anyone about this..." She says, feeling bad that she even needed to say it. She didn't want to force him to hide anything from Matty and the rest but he too thought it was probably best.

"Of course" he says.

"Our secret" she says and he smiles again at that, liking, no, loving the sound of it. Something that was just there's.

"I like that' he says, smiling widely down at her. She sighs and mumbles a "fuck it" grabbing his chain and tugging him towards her once again, their lips already open when they meet, tongues and teeth clashing. He grunts into her mouth, moaning at the way she just tugged at his chain, feeling the metal lightly dig into the back of his neck, not that he minded, not one bit.

When one of his large hands leaves her waist, trailing down and curving at the last instance to grab a handful of her arse, she moans into his open mouth, having to pull away to stop herself from begging him to take her home.

"We should stop" she says as his lips try to move against hers again. He sighs. But it's a content one.

"We should" another kiss shared. "Ross" he pulls away. He sighs. It's too hard. Its too hard to stop when he needs her more than he needs oxygen.

"You're a good kisser" she admits, smiling up at him. Her words stroke his ego and he can't help but smirk. The smirk only making her want to smear her mouth to his again. So she does.

"So are you..." he says against her mouth making her moan into his.

"Jesus christ" he says, making her giggle before their lips reconnect.

They eventually return to the rest of the group, and Ross feels sad when Matty tugs her away from him and the group as soon as he gets the chance. Her heart longs to be at Ross' side, but she still allows Matty to lead her away, insisting she met some friends of his.

She can't help but feel slightly zoned out during the conversations she has with Matty's friends, eyes constantly searching the room to find Ross', vision always narrowing when she sees him, eyes landing on his lips, which curve into a smirk when he catches her looking.

She blushes, turning away, finding him staring not that long after. It continues like that for the rest of the night, one catching the other looking, one smirking or blushing after being caught. She eventually gets to return to the group, gets to return to Ross, and the way he holds her thigh under the table, just like that night at Charli and George's, has her head spinning.

This time she doesn't stop him, she doesn't get annoyed and doesn't stand abruptly. She allows the pad of his thumb to graze her thigh, allows him to grip the covered flesh, practically massaging it under his touch. Her eyes flick back and forth to him, taking in the way he smirked as he raised his drink to his mouth, the head of his beer coating his moustache, his tongue peeking out to remove it, teasing her. Constantly teasing her.

This was wrong. She knew that. But she couldn't help herself. If it was wrong, why did it feel so right?

She catches Jamie at one point during the night, heading back from the rest room, she's smiling widely when she sees him and he knows something is up.

"We'll do it, we'll sign the contract" she says excitedly, when Jamie doesn't reply she wonders why, she realises that he's looking behind her, a wide, huge smile resting on his lips. She turns and sees him. Curls falling in front of his face, lips red from the wine he's been drinking, lips pulled taut in a huge smile, eyes sparkling.

He's with her in two steps then, tugging her upwards, picking her up, forcing her legs around his hips just so she doesn't fall. He spins them, she feels dizzy but she feels free, alive, high.

"Knew you'd say yes!" he says, face tucked into her neck.

Ultimately, Matty raised her up, he made her feel high, on life and on him. But she knew when he would tumble down he would drag her with him. Perhaps they were too similar, too alike to work fully. 

Ross grounded her, but he set her soul ablaze too, she soared with him, flew, high on life and him, but the string that attached them was strong, never breaking or wearing away, she was safe with him. Her heart was safe.

Her thoughts and feelings were clearer now, but somehow it complicated things. She liked Ross, really really liked him, he was everything, the air she needed to breathe, the passion coursing through her body, the blood in her veins, the music she loved, everything.

But she still couldn't deny that she liked Matty, she liked the way they were kindred spirits, forever searching for that person who understood them without trying. She found that with Matty, he healed parts of her, but she couldn't help but worry that he also had that power to completely destroy her.

She was worried more than anything, that she'd listen to her heart, and lose them both.

© all lyrics are written and owned by yours truly (let's ignore the fact they're not that good but yeah) no stealing hehe

(10) Dylan

[mikazuki1709]

Squall | Ratiorine Fic

Fandom: Honkai Star Rail

Ship: Dr. Ratio/Aventurine, Ratiorine

Rating: G

Words: 4.634

Tags: Insomnia, Nightmares, Memories, Trauma, Panic Attacks, Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Aventurine needs a hug, Aventurine has issues, Soft Dr. Ratio, Protective Dr. Ratio, Lack of communication, Rain, Thunderstorms, Sleeping together, Hugs, Trust issues

Summary: There are things Aventurine isn't able to talk about with anyone, not even Ratio, and there are things Ratio wants to know about Aventurine but is afraid to ask. On a stormy night, they both work hard in their own ways to reduce the unwanted distance between them.

Preview:

The moment the first lightning cuts through the darkness of the night and illuminates the bedroom is also the moment Aventurine finally abandons his last hope of finding any sleep.

He has been lying on his bed for hours now, with his eyes wide open, constantly staring at the ceiling without actually seeing anything at all. 

It feels a little unfair. He really has tried everything to exhaust himself. Has spent half of his day with tedious paperwork he usually leaves to his subordinates. Has even taken it upon him to actually write those stupid reports instead of dictating them to his phone like he usually does, fully aware that he is the slowest writer around. Ratio once told him that it is because he learnt how to write pretty late and that he only needs some more practice, but most of the time he is just too busy to make time for this. Or maybe too lazy, like the doctor blames him to be. Anyway, it is nothing he does voluntarily on a normal day. 

Today, however, is not a normal day, and since even ten pages of reports were not enough to bring him closer to the prospect of sleep, he also tried the opposite approach and went to the gym where he trained until every fibre of his body cried in pain. It only helped to make him feel hungry and miserable, but there was no way he was gonna grant himself the nutrients necessary to build up new energy afterwards. No - after all, the plan was to go home and turn dead to the world the moment his head hit the pillow.

Of course it didn’t work, and he should have known this. Even with his muscles shaking, his stomach growling and his head spinning from the way he maltreated himself, Aventurine just could not bring himself to close his eyes. The moment he tried to do it, the pictures in his head started to go crazy, leaving him unsure if sleep was something to desire or to dread. The moment he heard the first drops of rain hitting his window, the scales tipped into the direction of ‘dread’. The moment he saw the lightning, he knew it was over. 

There it was, his ‘blessing’, Aventurine thought bitterly. Gaiathra Triclops had graced his people with a heavy downpour not unlike this one the day he was born, making him and his good fortune a ray of hope for their suppressed and ill-fated tribe. Even now, so many years later, in nights like this, Aventurine cannot find a single positive thing this blessing ever brought him.

[...]

Read the full fic on ao3

[srbachchan]

DAY 5605

Jalsa, Mumbai                   June 22,  2023                   Thu 11:25 PM    

🪔 .. June 23 .. birthday greetings to Ef Anish Morarji Tataria .. yo from your Ef Family 😁✌🏽 .. 

And .. to dear Ef Moses Sapir .. your wedding anniversary on June 23 .. our good wishes always ..

Birthday - EF - Anish Morarji Tataria Friday, 23 June .. and our wishes for this special day of yours .. love from the Ef family ..

Does it dawn .. dawn in the recognised morn of the day .. the day doth announce its presence .. or about its presence .. and the World of writing and writers hurriedly adopts the ‘dawn’ to their world .. 

‘ it be the dawn of a new world’ ..  they say .. or words to that effect .. effective , poetic and composite .. whether the dawn turns to the sun lit day or not irrespective .. or sets into another quiet unknown night for another dawn to re appear .. 

amusingly , when the film ‘DON’ was announced with me .. many in the world of Hindi cinema were quite unaware of the word don .. 

what they were familiar with was a product known as DAWN .. the  DAWN banyaan .. vests .. 

And the market was very skeptical and annoyed with the makers as to why a film title should be about undergarments .. !!

many still are .. 🤣

... but on another note .. Ef remembers Babuji and his translated auto biography and puts it all down .. I feel it deserves mention here :

And .. before Music Day ends .. I feel having the honor of sharing few words from Babuji about his journey with music from his autobiography .. but , then , indeed , every day is music day .. love .. ❤️🙏🏻

Quoting babuji : 🙏🏻

“ [...] ..

Pratap Narayan [my Father] was duly betrothed to the daughter of Munshi Ishwari Prasad, a resident of Katra Mohalla in Allahabad. Her name was Sursati, and she was to become my Mother. The name 'Sursati' is clearly derived from 'Saraswati', and when I felt the first stirrings of a desire to be a poet or writer, I derived much self-confidence from the fact that I was the son of the goddess of learning and of art and music.

[And in mentioning music] ..

Professor Khushhalkar, was our music teacher, he was a Maharashtrian and a pupil of Pandit V.D. Pulaskar. His Hindi was of the Bombay variety, but when he taught us devotional songs, his pronunciation of every syllable was crystal-clear; he would make us do voice practice to the harmonium, then teach us bhajans such as Tulsi's Gaiye Ganapati Jagabandara, which I can still sing from memory today. He also showed us how to sing while picking out the notes on the harmonium: he would pump the bellows with one hand while the fingers of the other would run lightly over the keys, his own voice blending with that of the instrument in such a way as to achieve a sublime harmony of the inanimate with the animate: evoking a tingling emotional response. Professor Khushhalkar sowed the seeds of music in me, but regrettably I was never able to grow the plant that should have sprung from them. Still, my slight study of music was helpful in the reciting of poetry, and a little knowledge of tala helped me compose songs in the folk genre. I can also tap out a rhythm on a drum, but that was learnt from my mother and sisters. ” ~

Dr. Harivansh Rai Bachchan's Autobiography: In The Afternoon Of Time .. Chapter: Things to Forget, Things to Remember .. Pages: 56, 112 ..

.. and in time .. hopefully there shall an introduction to the music that this untrained novice who has had no musical training at all .. just been in the company of listening and present to the sounds of music that has remained with me .. and the legacy of Babuji , if nothing else shall prevail .. yet again .. 

In quiet love and affection to the Ef ..

Amitabh Bachchan

[denimbex1986]

'Writer and poet Benjamin Zephaniah has died aged 65, after being diagnosed with a brain tumour eight weeks ago.

A statement posted on his Instagram account confirmed he died in the early hours of Thursday.

The statement said Zephaniah's wife "was with him throughout and was by his side when he passed".

"We shared him with the world and we know many will be shocked and saddened by this news," it added.

Zephaniah was born and raised in Handsworth, Birmingham, the son of a Barbadian postman and a Jamaican nurse. He was dyslexic and left school aged 13, unable to read or write.

He moved to London aged 22 and published his first book, Pen Rhythm.

His early work used dub poetry, a Jamaican style of work that has evolved into the music genre of the same name, and he would also perform with the group The Benjamin Zephaniah Band.

As Zephaniah's profile grew, he became a familiar face on television and was credited with bringing Dub Poetry into British living rooms.

He also wrote five novels as well as poetry for children, and his first book for younger readers, Talking Turkeys, was a huge success upon its publication in 1994.

On top of his writing work, Zephaniah was an actor and appeared in the BBC drama series Peaky Blinders between 2013 and 2022.

He played Jeremiah "Jimmy" Jesus, appearing in 14 episodes across the six series.

Zephaniah famously rejected an OBE in 2003 due to the association of such an honour with the British Empire and its history of slavery.

"I've been fighting against empire all my life, fighting against slavery and colonialism all my life," he told The Big Narstie Show in 2020.

"I've been writing to connect with people, not to impress governments and monarchy. So I could I then accept an honour that puts the word Empire on to my name? That would be hypocritical.

He often spoke out about issues such as racial abuse and education.

When he was younger, Zephaniah served a prison sentence for burglary and received a criminal record.

In 1982, Zephaniah released an album called Rasta, which featured the Wailers' first recording since the death of Bob Marley.

It also included a tribute to the then-political prisoner Nelson Mandela, who would later become South African president.

In an interview in 2005, Zephaniah said growing up in a violent household led to him assuming that was the norm.

He recalled: "I once asked a friend of mine, 'What do you do when your dad beats your mum?' And he went: 'He doesn't.'

"I said, 'Ah, you come from one of those, like, feminist houses. So, what do you do when your mum beats your dad?'"

In 2012, he was chosen to guest edit an edition of BBC Radio 4's Today programme.

Zephaniah was nominated for autobiography of the year at the National Book Awards for his work, The Life And Rhymes Of Benjamin Zephaniah, which was also shortlisted for the Costa Book Award in 2018.

During a Covid-19 lockdown, Zephaniah recited one of his poems in a video for the Hay Festival.

"Benjamin was a true pioneer and innovator. He gave the world so much," the statement announcing his death said.

"Through an amazing career including a huge body of poems, literature, music, television and radio, Benjamin leaves us with a joyful and fantastic legacy."

A statement from the Black Writers' guild, which Zephaniah helped establish, said: "Our family of writers is in mourning at the loss of a deeply valued friend and a titan of British literature. Benjamin was a man of integrity and an example of how to live your values."

Others paying tribute included author Michael Rosen, who said: "I'm devastated. I admired him, respected him, learnt from him, loved him. Love and condolences to the family and to all who loved him too."

Actress Adjoa Andoh posted: "We have lost a Titan today. Benjamin Zephaniah. Beautiful Poet, Professor, Advocate for love and humanity in all things. Heartbroken. Rest In Your Power - our brother."

Peaky Blinders actor Cillian Murphy said in a statement: "Benjamin was a truly gifted and beautiful human being.

"A generational poet, writer, musician and activist. A proud Brummie and a Peaky Blinder. I'm so saddened by this news."

Broadcaster Trevor Nelson said: "So sad to hear about the passing of Benjamin Zephaniah. Too young, too soon, he had a lot more to give. He was a unique talent."

Singer-songwriter and musician Billy Bragg added: "Very sorry to hear this news. Benjamin Zephaniah was our radical poet laureate. Rest in power, my friend."

Comedian, actor and writer Lenny Henry said: "I was saddened to learn of the passing of my friend Benjamin Zephaniah. His passion for poetry, his advocacy for education for all was tireless."

Writer Nels Abbey said: "To call this crushing news is a massive understatement. He was far too young, far too brilliant and still had so much to offer. A loss we'll never recover from."

The X/Twitter account for Premier League football club Aston Villa, whom Zephaniah supported said everyone at the club was "deeply saddened" by the news.

"Named as one of Britain's top 50 post-war writers in 2008, Benjamin was a lifelong Aston Villa fan and had served as an ambassador for the AVFCFoundation. Our thoughts are with his family and friends at this time."'

[mostlymarvelgirl]

Forever & Infinity (Erik Lehnsherr)

WARNING(S): Angst, self harm intentions, sadness, losing control of powers, erased memory, nearly break up....

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@groot-the-tree-writes I'm sorry.. thus wasn't how it was supposed to go. But my mind wandered, and this is what cane out. Thank you for the idea

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IMPORTANT PLZ READ TO UNDERSTAND THE FIC: The reader here has some personality issues and suffers from bipolar disorder.

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" I used to walk into a room full of people and wonder if they liked me. Now I look around and wonder if I like them."

That's what she said. Raven. It sounded very different when it came from her. A girl who once I remembered was no longer who I thought she was or she would be. I knew this one day would come.

People change, like the intricate design revolving in a kaleidoscope, never changing to the same pattern ever again yet, maintaining the old forms hidden but not gone. Perhaps, that's where it clicked.

I've always felt and also been told that to be like others and how they want to be. But I didn't quite listen to that. And no one should. I learnt this from someone. Yes. The one and only Erik Lehnsherr.

That man had an aplomb aura around him. The way he carried himself, it was something that most kids needed in this school. His way of talking, being precise about his decisions, having his things under his control and what not. He's my role model. And also my husband.

This is what everyone thought. And so did I at some point. His demeanor served as an allegory to society. But, knowing him for a long time, I knew he wasn't always like this all the time.

We all have our moments, where we face our rawest emotions at the highest degree. No one would believe me if I said that Erik Lehnsherr or Magneto could cry and feel guilt and disappointment. Well, Charles is an exception.

The reason for this entire thought is because of what I did. Erik never really showed his emotions to other people or outside. Which I can very well relate to. Because neither did I.

But being in a relationship meant that you were supposed to be there for the other person at all times. Well, I've clearly failed my duty and broken my promise.

He's been awfully quiet. Well, actually dead silent. His answers to me are short. Not just me, even Charles and the other first class xmen.

*FLASHBACK*

"This isn't how it's supposed to be, Charlie. The ending was too happy and very Disney type.", I said.

"Well, Y/n, not everyone and everytime has or have a sad ending. This is-", Charles was interrupted by the door opening.

The door opens. Erik walks in.

"What are you both arguing about?", Erik asked would raising his eyebrow knowing it was one of those silly debates on TV shows.

"Erik, just go away. You're interrupting our debate.", I replied casually.

"Please, not today, Erik.", Charles said.

*FLASHBACK END*

He left with no word. That was once. And it went on for days. Ignorance was not new to me. But, I never wanted someone to feel something bad like I did. He promised me that when we got married. And he tried many times to talk to me about my behavior. I just kept snapping back and ignoring him.

Slowly, day after day, I started noticing changes bit by bit. My mood was becoming worse, and I kept on harsh with him. Then it soon started to go to others.

I realized that I had become like them. Like everybody else. And it was just too late. He had left already. Without a word. And I deserved it. I was a pathetic person.

1 cut.

Maybe it'll help. For atleast a while.

I felt heat rushing to my wrist. I looked down in horror and realized what I had done. But....... it felt good. I deserved it.

2 cut.

The bathroom lights started to flicker. My powers were reacting. My body was telling me to stop. I could start seeing some black dots start to blur my vision.

Last thing I wanted was for Erik to hate me. Feel the way I used to feel during my younger years.

I could feel myself falling and heard a distant scream and a help. I was mentally awake, but my physical body was just paralyzed. I could everyone's voices. Hank, Charles, Jean, Raven and... Erik.

"I don't know if you can hear me or not, but this is too dramatic and selfish of you to do this to yourself. Remember? You said yourself. Now just hold on, you'll be alright.", Erik said while breathing heavily. I could feel the concern, sadness, and anger in his statement. Then I lost my mental consciousness.

*A few days later*

I felt cold. And numb. And my lips were dry and stuck with the other one. My arms felt cold and sort of thread like texture. My toes were freezing and fingertips as well. I could feel someone sitting beside me. I could feel their breath. They were sleeping. Their hand was near my ear. It was Erik.

I opened my eyes slowly. I was getting used to light, even though it was dim. The smell of sanitizer was abundant. And quite disgusting. I was in the mansion's basement. I tried to move my body, but it was somewhat paralyzed. I couldn't move it. At all. I tried talking, but all that came out was a light voice. Not words. It felt soo hard and rough. My throat was dry, and it hurt.

All I could slightly move was neck and my eyelids. I turned slightly towards Erik, who quickly got up, feeling the slight movement.

"Hey", He said in a low voice. He palmer my cheek, to which I leaned in, feeling the warmth of his hand.

I tried to talk, but all that came out were tears. And a light moan. I started to cry. After a long time, it felt as if weight was going out my body.

Erik pulled himself close over my body and ran his fingertips under my eyes to wipe my tears.

"Sshhh, It's okay... let it all out... it's not your fault.... just come back to me...it's alright.", his deep soothed me into loud cry.

My body immediately got up and fell over him. I couldn't handle my weight since I wasn't able to control my physical body. He just held tightly and rubbed my back holding me from falling back.

"Im-im-mm-so-sor-sor-rry Erik..', I said finally being able to speak.

"It's alright, I won't ever leave you again.. just stay with me... okay?", he said while holding my face and wiping my tears.

I probably looked horrible. But it didn't seem to bother him. He knew about my disorder. But it felt like it was my fault, and I did it with my intentions. No matter how much I tried, he just made me feel like it was never my fault, and he would always come back to tell me that.

"You did the same for me many years ago, many times. I made a vow to do the same for as long as I live. Forever and infinity?", he said while a tear escaped his eye and our foreheads touched. It may have looked cringe, but that's just who we are. And who we will be. No matter what. We will never part our ways. Together, we were everything.

"Forever and infinity."

[bangjiazheng]

Today afternoon (08.09.2024 ) (09.09.2024 00.28 ) I logged into 【tumblr】 in the afternoon(5th)

Today afternoon (08.09.2024 ) (09.09.2024 00.28 ) I logged into 【tumblr】 in the afternoon(5th) This is today's my 5th log into【tumblr】(Nearly this time(almost at the same time),I also login in facebook too.)

This morning,noon,afternoon,night,I learning Czech language Very Serious,Very Happy!!!! I am learning【B1 textbook】【Lesson 10】texts,words declesions,Very Serious,Very Happy!!!!

The theme of 【Lesson 10】 is (sports and games), which is a theme I like very much. Learning Czech language is Very Happy!!!!!! Very Happy Very Happy!!!!!!

Tonight, I studing Czech language with all my physical energy, And I am Very Happy!!!! Originally, I thought I could finish learning the last bit content of【B1 textbook】【Lesson 10】tonight. However, because I forgot some words I had learned, and have to learn some new words, and the【declension】of words and sentences structures logics are so difficult to learn(Note: Words:????,sentences structures logics:????………………Meow~????????……………………), I unstopped studing them for a long time(Note: Happing~,Happing~………………), and I was unable to finish this lesson tonight. I used up a lot of physical energy. Now,After serious recording,I must listen Czech language sleep,Recover my physical energy……………………

The air is hot and humid, which also affects my efficiency in learning Czech language. In addition, learning Czech in a naturally ventilated environment ,I often sweat and often wipe my body, which also affects my efficiency. I will think new learning method for these situations………………(Note:????………………Meow~??????………………Happy Happy!!!!!!!!!!……………………)

I am Absolutely Serious And Absolutely Happy in learning Czech!!!! Learning Czech Language,Very Happy Very Happy!!!!!!

I hope I can finish【Lesson 10】tomorrow…………Then I can start learning 【Lesson 11】……………… Half of 【B1 textbook】is learnt(Still not remember many words,Because I learn grammar first,After learning grammar,then remember many things,including declension tables,and thousands of words of A1,A2,B1,And make sentences myslef,For learning Czech language……………………) Declension is too difficult, Now I am some dizzy after studying, But I am Very Happy!!!! Very Happy Very Happy!!!!!! Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy!!!!!! Learning Czech language is Very Happy, I not afraid of being tired, Very Happy Very Happy!!!!!!!!!!!……………………Happing~ Happing~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…………………………

This afternoon,I supplied about 2 hours sleeping,recovered my physical energy. Now,I got up,continue learning Czech language,Very Happy!!!!

Now,The sun is going to down,The air temperature is decreasing. I using an big electric fan blowing wind,learning Czech language,many O2,Some comfortable,Happy Happy!!!! Learning Czech Language,Happy Happy!!!!!!

I Love Czech Language!!!! I Love Learning Czech Language!!!!!!Very Happy Vey Happy!!!!!!!!!!Very Very Happy Happy!!!!!!!!!!!…………Happing~,Happing~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…………………… Learning Czech Language, Very Seriously And Very Happily!!!!!!!,Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy!!!!!!!!!!………………Happing~ Happing~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!……………………………………

I am learning Czech language Very Seriously,Very Happy!!!! Learning Czech Language,The Happiest The Happiest!!!!!!

Now,I am learning Czech language,Very Happy,Very Happy!!!! The happnesses of my learning Czech language couldn't describe in any words,Because Too Happy!!!!!! Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy!!!!!!!!!!Happing~,Happing~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!………………………………Happy Meowing~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!………………………………………………………………(Note: As Happy As A Middle-Aged Big Good Meow,Happy Happy!!!!)………………………………………………

After serious recording,I will go to bed,listening Czech language sleeping Happily.Very Happy!!!! I learning Czech language Very Seriously,Using up a lot of physical energy………………

Now,I seriously and carefully set 2 alarm clocks all at 05.45.Happy Happy!!!! Tomorrow morning(Note:Today morning…………),I will get up on time,Continue learning Czech language Seriously And Happily!!!! Learning Czech Language,Very Happy Very Happy!!!!!! After serious recording,I will continue learning Czech language Very Serious Very Happy!!!!Very Happy Very Happy!!!!!!

Bangjia Zheng I Learning Czech Language,Very Happy Very Happy!!!!!!!!!!

09.09.2024 00.28