#also kinda meh tasting so enjoy I guess lol

[angrybatart]

(Reaches into your fridge and grabs a container at random.)

(Casually drinks all of your...Pomegranate juice?)

Goddamn, this shit is tart!

HEY.

*holding hand out expectantly* That shit's expensive. Pay up!

[wikiangela]

time for Lone star 4x01!

spoilers under the cut!

(some episode thoughts that got too long lmao)

aww I missed them so much

I agree with Paul, olives do ruin everything (like, fr, every single time there are olives I try one as if suddenly they tasted better, and every single time I wanna throw up lmao)

they're looking for wedding venues aaa I can't wait haha

not to be that bitch, but... oh my god Rob Lowe looks so good, the hair looks fantastic (like oh my god his hair 😍), and on a motorcycle?? wow, Owen has never been so hot 🥵

loving Carlos hanging out with his mama, and tbh this season all I want is to learn more about Carlos and his life outside of TK and the 126 (like, I've been wondering since at least s2 - does he have any friends outside of the 126, or Michelle in s1? like, does he hang out with his work colleagues, anyone else? what did he do before everyone moved there, aside from hanging with Michelle?? 😂 give me something 😂)

and here's Carlos!! the man I've been dying to see a whole 6 minutes since the episode started lol they could give him every single second of screen time and I'd be loving it tbh

tell TK what?? I'm so nervous lol but it can't be that bad if Andrea knows and isn't freaking out right? 😂

GRACE!!!! 😍 😍 😍 I got so excited when I saw her I heard and saw her I had to pause lmao - I missed her so much 😍

raining frogs... what the fuck is happening 😂

what in the apocalypse is this episode 😂

Carlos being married to Iris... I guess it might be an interesting storyline? not sure I like it though, and it doesn't make much sense in the context of s1, at least as far as I can remember 😂 (it kinda feels like they wanted drama for the sake of drama but weren't sure what to do with tarlos bc they can't break them up again, so they were like, fuck it, it doesn't have to make any sense) but whatever, let's look past this 😂

the frog in the throat is making me so uncomfortable I can't 😩🤢

well, I guess I'm happy that TK isn't mad or anything 😂 still, this came out of nowhere and it kinda doesn't fit to what we know - then again, we don't know much about Carlos🤷🏻‍♀️

that dude in the porta potty had some serious bad luck lmao on top of everything to land squarely in the tank of water lol

pls tell me that this season continues s3's Owen being just hilarious 😂 because I really enjoyed him last season, and I can't stop laughing at him now 😂 (also, he just looks so good? I'm sure it's the hair, something's changed idk 😂)

Carlos in that shirt with the necklace hanging out - oh my good he looks hot 🥵 that color looks so good on him fr 🥵🥵🔥

am i sensing something brewing between Tommy and Amenadiel from Lucifer? 👀😂 does that mean he's gonna stay? I kinda figured he wouldn't be a one off character when I recognized him tbh 😂

Iris looks so familiar and I'm not sure if I've seen this actress before or if she just looks similar to someone

not sure how I feel about her character yet, imma need more time to get to know her

what the fuck has Owen gotten himself into 😂 jfc that was..... lmao

so Catherine's gone? 😭 nooo, I love Amy Acker, I hoped she'd be back 😭

FBI?? now that's interesting - and where do I know this chick from??

sooooo, was that 1 tarlos scene supposed to be the "new fan favorite" like Ronen said? I'm kinda underwhelmed ngl😂

It was a great first episode, the calls really were something, and the personal drama is delicious though also confusing, I'm still not sure if I like the whole Iris storyline (not bc of tarlos, obvi, just in general it doesn't seem.... good? idk, maybe they hyped up the secret too much or smth but it's kinda meh - I've been waiting for more Carlos and his backstory since s1 so I'm kinda disappointed rn) can't wait for the wedding tho!

I hope Tommy will actually find love and happiness, and I wonder how this whole pastor thing will unfold

the most intriguing thing is probably Owen's thing right now and so far I'm not even mad 😂

well, those are my thoughts as I was watching, can't wait for the next one!

[coffee-in-that-nebula]

!Spoilers! Snowpiercer: S03E09: A Beacon for us All [my usual review]

So, the latest episode of “Snowpiercer” was the most interesting of this season so far and this only happened for one obvious reason: Melanie is back. But it’s not only that, it’s also Connelly’s energy and acting skills that kinda saved the day, so ty for that.

Well, the episode was better, but we cannot say it was perfect or even as good as the most episodes of the two previous seasons. The plot issues are still here and the characters... are still kinda off, you know.

First of all, Melanie’s rescue and return felt rushed to me and also I believe it happened kinda... quickly? I mean, season 3 is kinda slow and it’s been dragging a lot, like an entire episode was literally wasted on Layton’s dream - and I still can’t get over that btw. And yet, besides all that, Melanie was rescued quickly and with no drama by Josie. We also got a *very* quick flash-back, where we saw how Melanie survived for all these months. Everything was going fast at the time and the writers acted like they wanted to cover a possible plot-hole in the possible safest way. And that was the question we would all have: how did Melanie survive?

Still, I really wanted to know more about all the months that Melanie spent away from Snowpiercer. I wanted to know more about her thoughts, feelings and fears. I also didn’t want to see that “3 days later”. I wanted to know more about her condition whey they found her and I would enjoy to know about Alex and Ben’s first thoughts and feelings. I know that these are kinda a matter of taste (and I apologize if they seem unimportant, lol) but there was much dedicated time to Wilford’s hospitalization. I just would enjoy if Melanie’s rescue and healing process had more time.

I guess I know why that happened. It seems that Melanie came back only for one reason: to move the plot forward. Although, before I talk about that, I’d like to talk about some other things first.

- I enjoyed Layton and Ben’s interaction much more than I thought I would. I’m not seeing a brotp, but it was nice they had a moment after all the time they’ve spent together maintaining Snowpiercer’s engine and moving the train forward.

- I’m glad that Josie and Ben are not really a thing. I didn’t like it when it happened and yeah let’s say that the fact that it happened out of desperation and loneliness kinda makes sense. I’m still not entirely convinced that those characters would act like that (especially Josie) but oh well.

- Layton’s love confession was out of place. Entirely. Except he dies in the next episode, which won’t really happen, since season 3 proves that Snowpiercer = Layton. Layton confessed his love to Josie for typical reasons in this season: pretty much someone told him to, so he did it. It’s exactly the same thing as when WIlford informed Alex that Melanie is alive. It’s the same as when Wilford told Melanie about the plot-hole of New Eden. It’s just like when Layton told Asha to say to everyone that she saw New Eden and so she did! But oh damn, the writing of “Snowpiercer” used to be more complicated than that. To be fair, though, I enjoyed Josie giving Layton the cold shoulder.

- Bess x Audrey is a big MEH. I mean Bess has a kinda bad taste in women (Jinju wasn’t an angel either) but AUDREY? I don’t really get it. I know that Bess needs to heal, but I believe that she also knows what type of person Audrey is. I don’t believe she would fall for her, not at all, but like, *that* easily. That feels rushed too. There was some kind of build - up but I didn’t expect to see Bess enamored with Audrey like that. As for Audrey... I plainly don’t trust her. She’s a chameleon tho and she wants badly to survive. She got really disappointed by Wilford’s weakness too and I believe she’s been searching for some new kind of authority in her life or something.

And now about the whole Melanie situation:

Melanie starts going around on Snowpiercer only to find out that she’s missed a lot. Everyone has pretty much continued with their lives, Alex is too busy having some kind of social life, Ben stares at her like a puppy (at least that didn’t change), Layton is too busy being the leader of the train and everyone looks forward to going to New Eden. Nobody really cares that much about what Melanie went through and nobody really asks her much about that [which is also weird]. The one person who *really* talks to her is Wilford. He even looks at her.

What’s the conclusion of all this? Wilford played everyone like a puppet, he convinced the crew to save Melanie only to apparently use her for his plan. There are two things that really don’t make any sense here:

The first one is that Melanie didn’t really question him. Also from the promo of the next episode it seems like Melanie and Wilford will cooperate which also doesn’t convince me.

The second one is that Ben and Alex are so convinced about the existence of the New Eden. Where did their critical thing go? Oh, well...

At least, Melanie took over Snowpiercer in like 10 minutes, which is the most convincing thing of this episode.

So, for the season’s standards, it was a good episode. But season 3 is not a good season. The plot is questionable and there is very inconsistent character writing, which is the biggest problem with this season and of course it affects Melanie’s return too. 

[5uptic]

it genuinely freaks me out that people don't know steve from at least the sugar pine days. like there's so much there. so much cursed (and sometimes very wholesome) steve lore, but also it was a genuinely awesome webseries

meh, anon, i don't really know what to reply to this LOL. i only met steve through the morning lobby and i've never felt the need to rummage through his old content - i guess sp7 wouldn't be a thing i would enjoy, but i do like steve as a streamer. it's funny because, even going back to his first streams, it's obvious that he tried to bring his same sp7 energy into the stream, but it slowly changed overtime. and honestly, i'm happy it did. i know people say steve's prime is over and whatnot (even the man himself lol) and even if that was true, which i don't think it is, i genuinely enjoy steve as a streamer and he seems to enjoy this format as well. like, things change and move on. and we adapt through times. and that's FineTM.

i think a lot of older fans tend to feel that way about their long-time interests. hell, even i kinda feel that way about 5up given that i first started following his content around october. but i'm willing to bet a lot of new crewfu fans enjoy the streamer steve and aren't really interested in diving in the deep waters of steve's internet presence. but to me, whatever steve used to do before streaming is not something i'm curious or eager to look at and that's just a matter of taste.

[nyaheum]

My yearly list of Eurovision songs after the first impression (I mean, for like, half of them. I heard snippets of some songs.). Judged on music videos, because...if I only listen to the songs on Spotify, my eyes get bored. :’)

(oh, and don’t talk to me about iceland’s placement, I know this might be unpopular)

X. Belarus

Fuck Belarus, all my homies hate Belarus. Not even going to grace them with a rating.

Norway (TIX – Fallen Angel)

...no. :( And it’s not even because Keiino didn’t win, I just wholeheartetly hate this song. And I’m kinda sorry to TIX, because he seems like a cool dude and his stage outfit is absolutely hilarious, but oh my god do I hate this song with an absolute burning passion.

Poland (RAFAL – The Ride)

eye emoji mouth emoji eye emoji – well, this is a non-qualifier if I’ve ever seen one. Can we just...skip this?

Belgium (Hooverphonic – The Wrong Place)

Nap time! This song annoys me. I cannot explain it, but it gives me a headache and my whole body is revolting against this song. I am not kidding. Objectively, I don’t even hate it, but there’s just something about it...that makes me go...hnghgng…

North Macedonia (Vasil – Here I Stand)

eye emoji mouth emoji eye emoji ver. 2 – I am not trying to sound mean, but does North Macedonia do any music that is not dramatic power ballads? I’m serious. (And I don’t like it, sorry. :((...except for the high notes, I like them. When he can hit them live.)

Estonia (Uku Suviste – The Lucky One)

This (the music video)...is soft porn. I am slightly scared of Uku. I don’t know why. But, uh...this is better than last year’s song? Still, it wouldn’t qualify under my watch, whoops.

Georgia (Tornike Kipiani – You)

He stopped yelling angrily at the microphone. :((( Nah, but this isn’t my thing. It’s great that they are doing their own thing, it’s just not really my thing...it also reminds me of a song I know, damn.

Austria (Vincent Bueno - Amen)

He looks like a german youtuber. I don’t know hich one, but he looks like one. I also canot tell if he’s 18 or 38, lol. (For some reason he also reminds me of Alex Albon, which is even weirder.)...oh, uh, the song? Idk, I don’t care for I. It’s fine.

Spain (Blas Cantó – Voy A Querdarme)

Confession: I’m probably the only person who actually doesn’t like the sound of Spanish all that much. Whoops. Apart from that though, I’m not the biggest fan of this song. Can’t really say more about that. Meh.

The Netherlands (Jeangu Macrooy – Birth Of A New Age)

Listen: I really like the tone of this voice. It’s great. I am not a fan of the song. There’s something just very off about the loud percussions (?) in the background that make me go absolutely crazy when listening to this. My sensory-overload-prone ears hate it, and I’m sorry...the part before the last chorus on the other hand I love. The whole song could have sounded like that and I would have loved it. (...and I can’t unhear “You are my broccoli – You know my broccoli!” ;-;)

Azerbaijan (Efendi – Mata Hari) Whenever I see Efendi, my brain still goes “Cleopatrrrrra!”, oof. This song sounds like a song I know. Which...is super unprecice, but I genuinely don’t know which one. I do like that they kept the weird pre-chorus thing from Cleopatra (and reference the song later on), but I must say that I liked Cleopatra more...but it’s a party song, so I think it will be fun on stage!

Romania (ROXEN - Amnesia)

I didn’t like her song last year, I don’t enjoy this all too much and I’m kinda sorry but also...I don’t want to apologize for my taste in music, lmao. I want her hair though. Give me her hair.

Denkmark (Fyr & Flamme – Ove Os Pa Hinanden)

Ring ding ding, native language bonus. This is also way more fun than I thought it would be, hah. VERY retro, but I don’t hate that? :D (this and sweden really aren’t any different in terms of how much I like them)

Portugal (The Black Mama – Love Is On My Side)

I can appreciate this. I just wish it was in Portuguese, honestly. I don’t really know if I like the English for this song. That being said, I don’t know if you can make these very specific tones (you know what I mean) in portuguese without it sounding super off, so…

Ireland (Lesley Roy – Maps)

Okay, you do you Ireland. :D

Israel (Eden Alene – Set Me Free)

This exists. :D

Cyprus (Elena Tsagrinou – El Diablo)

Cyprus came to party, and I can’t be mad at that. I just don’t know why everybody in the YouTube comments loves this SO MUCH that they are sure that it will win if it gets the jury votes. I don’t think it’s as good as Fuego or She Got Me were, but maybe I just have no taste in party music. I don’t party. (Only if you got a 2000s playlist and some iced tea.)

France (Barbara Pravi – Voilà)

FRANCE sending a BALLAD? In MY Eurovision? It’s more likely than you think. It’s good, objectively. Personally, I don’t really care for it all that much and feel like I already know it.

United Kingdom (Embers – James Newman)

A good, modern song? In my british eurovision song? What happened on the Isles over quarantine? Are you guys okay? Did you find yourself? Have you taken your last breath (breath!) and looked at your past results? I’m impressed enough to put this relatively high, wow.

Serbia (Hurricane – LOCO LOCO)

*adore delano voice* party! Oh, and native language bonus...for a party song! I’m...impressed, actually. I cannot decide wheter I prefer this or Hasta La Vista, but I think it’s this one? The flows smoother, if that means literally anything.

Bulgaria (VICTORIA – Growing Up Is Getting Old)

*shrugs* I think a lot of people will like this. And I get that. I think I even understand it...yeah. I didn’t like her song last year either. It’s just personal preference, I think. I just want to have fun during Eurovision, hah.

Finland (Blind Channel – Dark Side)

Finland: FUCK YOU!!! Germany: Fuck you. <3

That’s all I’ll say, we know how the Finnish are, this is not surprising, lmao. (And I’m one of those children that grew up on Rammstein, so I legally cannot dislike this.)

Croatia (Albina - Tick-Tock)

Tick-tock, can you hear me go tick-tock? My heart is like a clock, I'm steady like a rock-...oh wait, wrong tick-tock! Still, really enjoy this song’s chorus – I actually enjoy it so much that it makes up for the utter loss of interest I experience once it’s over, chrm.

Sweden (Tusse – Voices)

I mean...let’s be honest, it’s a generic swedish pop song. It sounds like every other Swedish entry, and I think that bothers me. I know, that sounds kind of...weird, looking at my choices higher up in the list, but...meh. I think this will easily qualify for the Final and place high, and I am totally okay with that. It’s just not...what I wanted, I guess? :D (and i’m sorry but as a german-speaker I cannot get over the name “tusse”) (oh, and tusse seems to be super cool)

Albania (Anxhela Peristeri - Karma)

Oh, we’re going to war in 130 A.D.? Fine, let me just pack my spear and- oh, Albania has already sent a singer? Ah, well, might as well give up and just vibe.

Czech Republic (Benny Cristo - omaga)

This sounds fun. Not a winner or anything, but fun. I’ll probably still be on Twitter when he’s performing, whoops.

Slovenia (Ana Sklic - Amen)

Wait, there’s TWO songs called Amen? And why do I actually kinda like this? Oh well, might as well just accept it. (Her voice though...mhmmhmhm…yes please)

Iceland (Dadi og Gagnamagnid – 10 Years)

We just vibin’. I liked Think About Things more, but I’m very much biased here...because I’ve known that song for a year now. But this is still very good, and very on brand. (And I understand like...half of the lyrics, but I am okay with that.)

Australia (Montaigne - Technicolour)

not australia flexing at all of europe that they can hold big gatherings! D: oh, but I like this way more than last years song. I feel like Montaigne can show her GREAT voice way better in this song. (Even though her outfit and the sound of the song reminds me of the UK song that had...a dude run on the stage. I can’t think of the word for it right now.)

Malta (Destiny – Je Me Casse)

Destiny’s voice is just….wow. This is very different than All My Love, but it’s fun. The topic of the lyrics kinda remind me of Toy, and I like that…..I don’t really like the music video (especially the dancers in the colorful dresses? idk), but I’ll just ignore that.

Germany (I Don’t Feel Hate - Germany)

Confession time: I actually actively enjoy this song. Everybod is shitting on it, but it’s FUN and it has a good message, and Jendrik seems like the nicest dude ever and...it doesn’t deserve all the hate it’s getting? It’s completely self-produced and just fun. Stop being mean. :(

(...also someone on youtube said “pewdiepie” and I can’t unsee that now so fuck you >:((...no, no I don’t feel hate, just rethink your life choices)

Moldova (Natalia Gordienko - SUGAR)

What in the “Eis.de ist in der Kiste” is this music video? And I thought I would absolutely hate this song, but I actually don’t mind it all that much. It’s actually fun. Oh no, I’m splipping, someone catch me, aaaaaahhhhh….(and that poor cake dude. Is this song about cannibalism? Does she want to eat him?)

San Marino (Senhit – Adrenalina)

Catch me hum the chorus of this song at least once a day...but honestly, without any malicious intent: what the actual FUCK san marino? This is so much better than Freaky, and even though I do not believe for one second that this will win, the simple outragiousness of bringing Flo Rida to Eurovision deserves attention. (Bringing someone like Flo Rida to ESC sounds more like Scandinavia/Bulgaria, doesn’t it?)

Russia (Manizha – Russian Woman)

Not gonna lie, I miss Little Big, but at least they are sending something that’s at least as weird. I love that. Russian Rap is cool as fuck anyway, so I’m fully here for this...but I’m glas this song doesn’t have a music video, this just has to be a live performance. (Oh, and another strong woman!)

Ukraine (Go_A – SHUM)

I’m SO glad Go_A are back. But, let me be completely honest: I know why they had to change the lyrics, but I still liked the first version better. BUT I feel like the new one will grow and me and it will climb one or two places, because the Instrumental just slaps SO HARD. (Makes me feel like putting on a Cybergoth outfit and start dancing at a German industrial park, lmao.)

Latvia (Samanta Tina – The Moon Is Rising)

Does this count as my guilty pleasure this year? I loved her song last year, and this sounds similar, so...I like this too. It sounds modern as fuck (well, for Europe, you know) and I can definitely...”vibe” with that. I genuinely really enjoy this, and I don’t know why. (Even though I prefer last years drop.) A lot of “strong, independent women”-songs this year, and I’m not complaining.

Switzerland (Gjon’s Tears – Tout l’Univers)

Just so we’re clear, this and Italy share the exact same spot. I just cannot compare them at all. Gjon’s voice just takes me hostage throughout this whole song and won’t let me go. And everything that isn’t english/is in the countries offical language immediately gets plus points from me. As if this song needed them anyway.

Lithuania (The Roop – Discoteque)

Aaaaaand...dance break! Good, I just love them so much, it’s not even funny anymore. And I’ve been singing this song randomly since it came out. I can’t stop. It has burned itself into my brain. Let’s dis-co-teque right at my home! *waves arms around with no sign of coordination*

(and does anyone else feel like he’s serhat, just with a different alignment? Like, they are both chaotic, but serhat is chaotic neutral and he’s either chaotic good or chaotic bad, it really depends on the way he looks at the camera)

Italy (Maneskin – Zitti E Buoni)

Italy delivers, as they do every year. Not only do I really like this song (it is very much my genre), THIS is an aesthetic I can get behind! Knowing Eurovision, I doubt it will win, but damn if it won’t be super fun! (I am so glad this won Sanremo, hah.)

[dillydedalus]

april reading

oh yeah this is a thing. anyway in april i read about uhhh.... first contact (twice), murderers on skis & victorian church politics

the yield, tara june winch a novel about indigenous australian identity and history (now and throughout the 20th century) in three narrative strands. imo the narrative strand that consists of a grandfather writing a dictionary of his language (wiradjuri) in order to prove a claim to some land is by far the strongest, but overall i liked this quite a lot. 3/5

land of big numbers, te-ping chen a solid short story collection focused on modern china and young(ish) chinese people, both in china and the diaspora. i particularly liked the stories that had some slighty surreal or speculative elements, such as one about fruit that strongly evoke emotions when eaten and a group of people stuck in a train station for months as the train is delayed, which imo use their speculative aspects in effective (if not super subtle) ways to talk about society. 3/5

the pear field, nana ekvtimishvili (tr. from georgian by elizabeth heighway) international booker prize longlist! a short, fairly depressing read about a 18-year-old girl at a post-soviet school for developmentally disabled childred (but also orphans, abandoned children & other random kids) who is trying to get a younger boy adopted by an american couple. there seem to be a lot of novels set at post-soviet orphanages etc & imo this is a well-executed example of the microgenre, with the pear field full of pears that are never picked bc they don’t taste right as a strong central image. 3/5

the warden, anthony trollope (chronicles of barsetshire #1) ah yes, a 6-part victorian series about church politics in an english town, exactly the kind of thing i’m interested in. not sure why i committed to at least the first two entries of the series but here we are. despite this lack of interest (and disagreement with most of the politics on display here) i found this quite charming; trollope has a gift for an amusing turn of phrase & making fun of his characters in benevolent ways. 3/5

the lesson, cadwell turnbull first contact scifi novel set on the virgin islands, where an alien ship arrives one day. the aliens seem benevolent & share helpful technology, but also react with extreme violence to any aggression. they claim to be on earth to study.... something, but it’s never entirely clear what. the book makes some interesting choices (like immediately skipping over the actual first contact to a few years in the future, when the aliens are already established on the islands) but i thought much of it was kinda disjointed and confusing. 2/5

the heart is a lonely hunter, carson mccullers look, i get it, it’s all about the isolation & alienation (& dare i say loneliness) of 4 miserable characters projecting their issues on the central character singer, who is kind and patient and also deaf and mute, thus making him the perfect receptacle for their issues without really having to connect with him as a person and how that isolation hinders them socially, artistically, emotionally, politically, but like... i didn’t really like it. i didn’t hate it but i just felt very meh about it all. 2.5/5

acht tage im mai: die letzte woche des dritten reiches, volker ulrich fascinating history book about the last week(ish) of the third reich, starting with the day of hitler’s suicide and ending with the total surrender (but with plenty of flashbacks and forwards), and looking at military&political leadership (german and allied) as well as prisoners of war, forced laborers, concentration camp prisoners, and everyone else. very interesting look at what kästner described as the “gap between the not-anymore and the not-yet.” 3.5/5

firekeeper’s daughter, angeline boulley) i’ve been mostly off the YA train for the last few years, but this was a really good example of contemporary YA with a focus on ~social issues. ANYWAY. this is YA crime novel about daunis, a mixed-race unenrolled ojibwe girl close to finishing high school who is struggling with family problems, university plans, and feeling caught between her white and her native familiy when her best friend is shot in front of her and she decides to become a CI for an fbi investigation into meth production in the community. i really appreciated how hard this went both with the broader social issues (racism, addiction) and daunis’ personal struggles. there are a few bits that felt a bit didactic & on the nose (and the romance... oh well), but overall the themes of community, family, and the value of living indigenous culture are really well done & i teared up several times. 4/5

the magic toyshop, angela carter i love carter’s short stories but struggle with (while still liking) her novels so far. this one, a tale of melanie, suddenly orphaned after trying on her mother’s wedding dress in the garden, coming of age and awakening to womanhood or whatever. carter’s really into that. it’s well-written, sensual as carter always is, and the family melanie and her siblings are sent to, her tyrannical puppet-maker uncle, his mute wife and the wife’s two brothers, both fascinating and offputting (& dirty) make for an interesting cast of characters, but overall i just wish i was reading the bloody chamber again. 3/5

barchester towers, anthony trollope (chronicles of barsetshire #2) (audio) lol tbh i still don’t know why i am committing to this series about, again, church politics in 19th century rural england, but it’s just so chill & warm & funny (we love gently or not so gently - but always politely - mocking our characters) that i’m enjoying it as a nice little trip where people do some #crazyschemes to gain church positions or fight over whether there should be songs in church or whatever it is people in the 19th century fought about. it’s very relaxing. there also is a lot of love quadrangleyness going on and that’s also fun. trollope has weird ideas about women but like whatever, i for one wish mrs proudie much joy of her position as defacto bishop of barchester, she really girlbossed her way to the top. 3.5/5

semiosis, sue burke (semiosis #1) i love spinning the wheel on the “first contact with X weird alien species” & i guess this time we landed on plants! plant intelligence is interesting and the idea of plant warfare is really cool. i do like the structure, with different generations of human settlers on the planet pax providing a long-term view but this allows the author to skip over a lot of the development of the relationship between the settlers and the plant and locating the plot elsewhere, which i think is ultimately a mistake. i might continue w/ the series tho, depending on library availability. 2.5/5

one by one, ruth ware a bunch of start-up people go on a corporate retreat to a ski chalet in the alps, avalanche warning goes up, one of them disappears, presumably on a black piste, the rest get snowed in & completely cut off when the avalanche hits and then they get picked off *title drop* (altho really not that many of them). nice fluff when i had a miserable cold (not covid) but fails when it tries to go for deeper themes... like an attempt to address classism and entitlement sure... was made. also like what kind of luxury skiing chalet does not have emergency communication devices in case internet/phone lines are down...  i’d have sued just for that. 2/5

fake accounts, lauren oyler the microgenre of ‘alienated intellectual(ish) probably anglophone person has some sort of crisis, goes to berlin about it’ is my ultimate literary weakness - i almost never really like them, they mostly irritate me & yet i can never resist their siren call. this one is p strong on the irritation, altho at least the narrator does not ascribe much meaning to her decision to go to berlin after she a) discovers her boyf is an online conspiracy theorist (probably not sincerely) and b) gets a call that said boyf has died, it’s really just something to do to avoid doing anything else. but other than that it’s so BerlinExpat by the numbers, like she lives in kreuzkölln! put her somewhere else at least! there is one scene that elevates the BerlinExpat-ness of it all (narrator asks expatfriend for advice on visa applications, expatfriend assures her that it’s really easy for americans to get visa, adds “especially now” while literally, as the narrator remarks, gesturing at the falafel she’s eating) other than that, the novel is.... fine. it’s smart, but not really as smart as it thinks it is, which is a problem bc it thinks it’s just sooo incisive. whatever. 2/5

the tenant of wildfell hall, anne bronte this is reductive but: jane eyre: i could fix him // wuthering heights: i could make him worse // wildfell hall: lmao i’m gonna leave his ass anyway i enjoyed the part that is actually narrated by the titular tenant of wildfell hall, helen (which thankfully, i think, is most of it) because the perspective of a woman who runs away from her abusive alcoholic of a husband is genuinely interesting and engaging, while gilbert, the frame story narrator who falls in love with helen, is.... the worst. i mean he’s not the worst bc the abusive husband arthur is there and hard to beat in terms of worseness, but he’s pretty fucking bad. imagine if helen had found out that gilbert attacked her secret brother over a misunderstanding, severely injured him & LEFT HIM TO DIE & then (when dude survived & the misunderstanding got cleared up) apologised like well i guess i didn’t treat you quite right! she’d have to run away from her second husband as well! poor girl. 3/5

[upsetokaiba]

bc i need to write my thots abt that lowkey finale somewhere and twitter isnt a good place to write

OK SO

i think for the most part, i enjoyed parts of the loki series, but as a whole i found it kinda boring. i felt with the material they had, they had so much potential to have fun with it, but because its basically a limited series (even tho its been confirmed itd have two seasons for like a year now) they worked well enough with what time they had. but to ME, in my opinion, it was still not enough to make the series super fun and interesting for me (had this not been a show about loki, i wouldve honestly dropped it after like ep 3 or 4). i was always excited for episodes before they aired (it was about my favorite mcu character, of course id be smiley and excited for it !) but i kept finding myself on my phone looking at twitter bc a lot of it was boring and i was trying to find if it got fun later. this is not really the fault of the writers or show, its mostly just what happens when my tastes are too picky for things like this.

i did like the new characters in this show! i loved sylkie, mobius, hunter b-15 and renslayer a LOT! they were interesting and fun to follow along with their stories! i also really loved the other loki variants!!! (alligator loki supremacy) i especially loved how expressive and fun kang was in his reveal, need to see more of that tee bee heach!!! this loki on the other hand... i like the parts when he was having fun but the fact he went from genocidal “new york loki” to “retrospective, ‘tame’ and doting loki” so...quickly i guess??? made him boring to me! if they gave him a liiiiittle more time to get to that point, i dont think itd be as boring, but i also think he was boring to me like this BECAUSE everyone else around him was so fun. again, mostly the fault of my own picky tastes (and also i like to project and wanted to see an unhinged loki, so president loki and sylvie CALL ME!!!)

im not really gonna touch on the “rep” that the writers kept touting through interviews bc really....gnc and genderfluid people got burned on that one. i dont look at any mcu property for representation bc whether i like it or not, hollywood still isnt there with understanding these things, bc they dont WANT TO, nor do they really want to give voice to people who can do these things justice (this really couldve been solved and done better if they had...i dunno looked into what the fuck genderfluidity is a bit more or let a gnc/genderfluid writer write on the team. the comics really spoiled us in that department lol)

tldr; im a loki hater /s

it was okay, pretty meh imo and i was bored with the main title character bc everyone else around him was having so much more fun than him, wish the first season got more eps for HIS sake, to make him a little more fun in the end. i’d give it about a 7/10, will probably watch it again later bc there are parts i liked a lot.

here’s to season 2 being a little more entertaining to me and my impossible tastes!

[watch-grok-brainrot]

hey!! i'm back again with another ask! (god please tell me if i'm annoying? i just want to send you as many asks as i can but if i get too annoying, pls tell me off) my questions today are, what are your top 3 songs from the cql ost and what tea do you not like? like, is there a tea you don't like? also, is there a tea you like in particular? what cdramas have you watched besides cql?? - ❄🐇

hey snowbunny! you’re not annoying! i really appreciate you being so engaged with the mdzsnetcc event! :D 

cql ost fav songs: the characters songs for jiang cheng, lan xichen, and wei wuxian. they’re all so pretty and so sad. bu wang kinda  annoys me with the epic orchestra thing in the middle and wuji almost makes the cut but it’s just not as depressing as the others. though wei wuxian’s character song does lose points for the duet part that has a female voice and not yibo singing along... alas. 

i don’t like lipton? lol. so most ctc blends i’m meh on... but i don’t add milk and sugar to my tea for the most part so i need something that works well by itself and most ctc teas are made for british style drinking. 

i like many teas in particular. particularly their aroma and texture. some are light and airy and sweet. some are heavy and grounding. some are earthy and warming and smooth. i love so many teas for so many reasons. i can’t even begin to explain. i think high elevation taiwanese oolongs with crisp sweet and floral notes are a style that i will always love and always hold dear to my heart. 

i used to be really into BPAL (black phoenix alchemy lab) because i like the idea of smells carrying memories for people. and i like the idea of being able to differentiate smells and remember how things blend together to form flavors and then, in extension, feelings. so i got really into bpal -- which is an indie perfume company-- and started collecting samples (imps). in all of that i started getting better at picking out certain smell objects (e.g. rose or orange or honey etc) and really loving how bpal smells different wet in bottle, wet on me, dry on me, and dry at the end of a day. 

and then i realized tea has a lot of those qualities. it tastes different piping hot and kinda hot and warm and cooled. it has layers and dimensions. when you gongfu brew you can almost parse out the layers of flavors and really experience isolated snapshots of the tea as a whole. i liken it to chromatography for the chemistry folk. and in some ways tea became the merging of my nerdy science self and smell obsessed self and my gluttonous self. so it was a good fit. also booze. but booze is less.. socially acceptable to drink 24/7. :P

wow. that got long. oops. 

anyway, cdramas. omg. uh... a lot. i’m chinese so i grew up watching stuff... like i’ve been watching cdramas for a LONG time. (note: i went on a long ramble and i’m kinda sorry so don’t feel obligated to read all of this... ) i watched the mainland china’s version of journey to the west (made in 1986 i think.. go them on video tapes borrowed from idk where in the early 90s... the one episode i wanted to watch the most didn’t work. i was devastated).  and then a lot of wuxia shows -- mostly jin yong stuff. i remember i was 8 or 9 and watched a few eps of condor heroes. my parents finished the show without me. i was pissed. and at some point i watched dream of red mansion and romance of three kingdoms. both classics made into cdramas. and then i remember when zhao wei was in princess pearl. and i also watched 情深深雨蒙蒙 with basically the same cast... and a lot of other wuxia shows that came out around that time..uh.. early 2000s. i remember watching some show with zhou xun in it too around that time... and trying to find more stuff with zhang ziyi. man... zhou xun, zhao wei, and zhang ziyi were and are still all so pretty! and then i watched liu yifei (of live action mulan infamy) back in 2003(?) when she was in a few jin yong novel based show roles. and then um... i kinda got annoyed with the constant remake of those stories so i stopped watching them. but i did enjoy 天龙八部 and 笑傲江湖. seriously, i would watch the crap out of a 笑傲江湖 starring xiao zhan... but the novels were written in the 60s/70s and rather not LGBT friendly so i’m also fine with them never getting remakes... and then there was the meteor garden craze. i watched that, part of teh sequel (which wasn’t very good) and a few shows the actors were in... i really liked the MARS manga and was sad that the taiwanese adaptation of it as a show was meh. and around 2013-2014ish i started watching random crap... uh... like my first time seeing luo yunxi (who plays the white cat master aka chu wanning in hao yi xing / the erha live action) was in 何以笙箫默. and i was so confused by how weirdly they styled the poor man. he did not look good. the stying really emphasized his facial features to make his face look unbalanced. and i binged a few other shows while trying to write my thesis. i don’t remember them all. and then there was NiF and i also watched the Disguiser and some other random stuff as part of that rabbit hole. i thought “when a snail falls in love” was really cute even if the story wasn’t really that good. idk. i now put cdramas on in the bkgd while making gifs. so i’ve “watched” eternal love, ashes of love (DO NOT RECOMMEND. but skip around for luo yunxi being pretty i guess), love o2o. i’m currently seriously watcihng Ever Night. it’s so freaking good and king’s avatar (also on netflix) is my gif making bkgd. i have a soft spot for how pretty yang yang is... yeah. knowing the language helps me get through shows. lol. 

do you watch other cdramas snowbunny?

[brahkest-fr]

What the one thing thats cannon in FR that you hate or just dislike it for some reason?

That plague is baby town lol. But that’s a common sentiment I think. I wish it was a lil more gross and gnarly but what can you do.

Other than that, I guess the general setting/era of FR is kinda meh to me personally?

I guess what I’m saying is that whatever setting FR is tryna build just doesn’t work for me - this whole pseudo early 1900s era that has hunter gatherer knights and mages but also robots and steampunk. FR seems to lean into traditional fantasy a bit too much for my taste and I personally enjoy stuff that’s at least within the last century but I don’t mind a weird mix. So I like having my knights and wizards but they will also have razor scooters and shop at the dragon equivalent of Wal-Mart.

I like to compare my lore preference to like Final Fantasy XV or something. Where there’s demons and magic and crazy ass things happening but also you can just buy actual brand name Cup Noodles at a gas station next to the giant fuck off meteor being held up by god. The juxtaposition of fantasy next to something more down to earth and familiar is very wacky and I like it. I’m a real big fan of the recent tea set largely because it’s nice to get something “normal” for once instead of high fantasy which we already have quite a lot of. 

[adustierstar]

Lawblr Book Club

Hello naughty children, it’s time for Nissa’s Opinions

Coming in RIGHT under the wire for October book club, but still. I have read the reboggles I could find on T’s tag (bc tumblr search is what it is), and now it’s my turn.

General Questions:

1 - What did you like best / least?

I liked the worldbuilding a lot - I want to know more about the Reaches and the Travelers and why everything is made of wood in Kolonya?? Least... we will get to lol

2 - Would you read more by this author?

mmmmmmmmmmaybe. Like I want to know wtf happened, but I’m also still pretty mad about the ending. We shall see.

3 (a) - If this story followed a different character’s POV, who would you pick and why?

tbh the last thing this book needs is more POVs

3 (b) - Did you like how the three different sister’s POV was used to push the narrative forward? Did it make your reading experience more or less enjoyable?

idk, it was a little slow for my tastes. I did like that the girls all had different perspectives, but I wish they’d had more different personalities. Like Ren and Akeylah are the same person, just brought up with different abuse. And if Zofi has a personality beyond anger, she’s probably the same, too.

4 - What scene stuck with you the most?

I really liked the first time Ren and Zofi confronted Akeylah in the library - it was kinda “did we just become best friends?! YUP!” but also FINALLY gave them a team vibe and distinct specialties.

5 - What kind of lingering questions were you left with (besides the obvious cliffhanger WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO ME ELLEN)

literally what was the point of this being its own book if the single main conflict wasn’t actually resolved???

6 (a) - Could you relate to the characters & their story arcs?

Meh. I mean, a little bit? But overall I didn’t find them terribly relatable.

6 (b) - How do you feel about each character’s ending?

WHAT. ENDING.

7 - Were there times you disagreed with a character’s actions / would have done something different in their shoes?

YES MANY.

8 - Were you rooting for any character or pairing in particular?

I wanted to like Akeylah best bc she seems really sincere and genuine, BUT then suddenly all of her “I’m a secret genius” calculating stuff comes up and it’s a little tough to reconcile those things. I liked each of the girls okay, but I didn’t feel like there was a clear answer to who should rule (aside from Ren’s musing about all 3 of them, maybe).

9 - Do you picture any specific fancasts when reading the book?

The only one I have any clear idea what she looks like is Akeylah, but I can’t think of anyone who looks like that, you know? I think of Zofi as looking like an angry Ice Climber from Smash Bros. And like...idk maybe Letitia Wright for Ren? Maybe Lupita Nyong’o or Gugu Raw for Rozalind, unless she’s supposed to be the girls’ age, then somebody younger, I guess? Idk.

Story Specific Questions:

11 - Did you enjoy how each girl’s secret was teased out? Do you like when authors slow-roll this kind of information?

I do like a slow rollout (”who taught him ‘rollout’?!”), I think there’s a lot to be said for setting readers loose in medias res, BUT I also think it wasn’t handled amazingly here - idk maybe it’s just me, but I felt like it was sort of stage-whispering. Like “oh no I hope no one guesses my TERRIBLE SECRET!!! I would be in SO MUCH trouble!!” It just felt very obvious to me, although the secrets themselves weren’t obvious (the first time we learned about them).

12 - Do you think each character was fleshed out sufficiently, such that you had a sense of the different personality for each sister?

Not really? Kind of. An attempt was made with the girls, but basically no one else got any dimension whatsoever.

13 - Do you have guesses on who the blackmailer is?

Not really, bc this book broke every rule of how to write an engaging mystery. Like literally the only people who could POSSIBLY be it from the information we have are Rozalind, Vidal, and Andros, none of which really make sense given everything else, but like???? I guess Rozalind is my best guess bc she was acting kinda sus re: the acolyte etc. But I think that would be a bad choice unless a lot of other things change between now and that reveal.

14 - Was Yasmin a believable antagonist to you?

Like. I thought she was SCREAMINGLY obviously a red herring the entire book. She was brusque with the girls, and there was some weirdness in the first scene where the girls meet the king where I thought maybe she was possessing him, but that’s obviously just the weird mind link thing they did, and that’s it. Like being a bitch isn’t illegal.

15 - Do you think the daughters’ secrets were defensible actions?

Kinda? Like, definitely understandable, but like, is murder ever defensible? Ren had no reason to suspect her information would be used the way it was (whether or not Danton knew is something I’m not convinced on either way), Akeylah had no reason to believe she wasn’t cursing the man she fully expected to kill her (although MAYBE she should have paid closer attention during the cursing itself?? Like, the distance seems like it should have played a role in how hard it was to find “her father”), and Zofi perhaps overreacted, but used what seemed like appropriate force at the time in defense of another’s life (or rather she couldn’t/didn’t want to  think of a way to simply restrain or incapacitate Nicolen, so stabby stabby). Was it stupid? Yes, for all of them. But they’re children (are they 18? I forget how old they’re supposed to be. Also, why are they the same age, if they are? was that just Andros’s Good Fuckin Year?)

16 - How do you feel about this unique system of magic?

WEIRD. I NEED MORE INFORMATION. WHY does the blood have to be drawn? Where does it go? What is the scarring situation with these people? What about the SHARDS OF GLASS permanently embedded in Zofi’s legs? Speaking of which, how the FUCK are Travelers out here hand-blowing glass in a mobile way??? That’s not a pick-up-and-carry craft! What’s the cooldown period for tithing? Why is it CALLED tithing? Who are you tithing TO? What negative effects are there for tithing for too long? Zofi mentions that they exist, but this is never explained. I feel like after all her reading, Akeylah should be able to answer these questions for me. BUT SHE DIDN’T.

17 - Was the theme of racism sufficiently handled?

Handled..??? If by that you mean vaguely suggested as existing and occasionally seems to have affected some characters’ lives, sure. Like, the closest we got was “Vidal’s not as racist as some other people yay!”

18 - Do you have any theories about the poem found in the library?

tbh I don’t even remember a poem in the library, just the notes about the weird echo situation.

19 - How did you feel about the cliffhanger ending?

BAD. VERY BAD. It was like the ending of Cars in that it retroactively ruined a lot of the book for me. NOTHING was accomplished in this ENTIRE book WHY

[purplesurveys]

698

3 words that describe...

Your personality: (A bit) aloof, sensitive, and shy.

Your friends: Loud, laidback, cheeky.

Your family: Emotionally distant, (mostly) religious. I’m cheating so much on this looooool.

Your life: Right now? Put on hold. Thanks, coronavirus.

Your current mood: Hungry, and irritated eyes.

Your dreams/goals in life: Ok three words will be too short for this so I’ll just enumerate three whole phrases: I’d like to have a job that pays well, get a house that doesn’t have to be huge, but it has to come with features I’ve always wanted like cove lights and a yard for the kids and dog to play in, and get settled.

Your partner/boyfriend/girlfriend (if you have one): Funny, intelligent, courageous.

The person you last talked to: Brave, considerate, responsible.

The room that you are currently in: Comfortable, well-lit, homey.

The world in your perspective: Many stupid humans.

Yes/No questions...

Are you creative? Absolutely not. I like doing the logical/rational side of things... I let others take care of creative aspects, if they have to be present.

Do you like spending a sunny day outdoors? NO, unless I’m at the beach then sunny is the only way to go. Otherwise I’d rather be indoors or somewhere air-conditioned thx.

Do you get upset easily or over the littlest things? I can be. It’s usually when I’m already stressed/antsy enough, or if I’m on my period.

Do you dislike any of the people in charge of you (i.e: teachers, bosses)? I don’t particularly dislike my prof in my Rizal course but he sure teaches like he doesn’t want to be there. I just haven’t been getting the enthusiasm off of him, and that’s really important to me when it comes to being interested in my subjects. Oh but my PE coach this sem is a bitch - one time I forgot to wear the shirt color she demands us to follow and she ignored me for the entire period. Quickest way to make me feel shitty. So yeah. Probably her.

Do you like to read books/magazines/newspapers? I like books only if they’re non-fiction. I...don’t really read magazines anymore, and I kinda have to check into newspapers from time to time because I take up journalism.

Are you family-oriented? Towards my girlfriend’s family, yeah. I don’t really care about being family-oriented for my own.

Have you ever been friends with someone in the past out of sympathy? Yeah, this girl named MJ in Grade 7. She was a new-ish student then and no one was approaching her, so Gab and I tried to befriend her for a time. Didn’t really pan out that well - we just didn’t mesh - so we stopped talking not long after.

Do/did you ever get nervous around people you are/were crushing on? I still do.

Do you believe in global warming? Duh.

Are you happy with the way society/the world in general is? I’m typically pessimistic when it comes to people, so no not really. I just feel like the bad news always overweigh the good these days - and while good news can serve as rays of sunshine sometimes, I’d rather face reality than live in my own bubble and choose to be oblivious to all the shitstorms happening around me.

Do you ever question your own religion/beliefs? I did, as early as when I was 10. The Bible just didn’t make sense to me to my frustration, and I’ve always felt disgusted with my school guilt-tripping us to be good people because a man got crowned with thorns and nailed to a giant cross. I figured I can be good simply because I choose to, so I let go of my Catholic roots quickly after. Having no friends that time surely forced me to think hahahahahahaha jk 1/2

This/That...

Do you prefer today's trends/styles, or ones from the past? Both have awesome stuff, there’s no need to pick. I’m really into the mom jeans of the 90s, but I also like the yellow trend that’s been going on recently.

Being too cold or too hot? I’d rather be shivering but be comforted with a thick blanket, than sweat bullets and have absolutely no way to cool myself down.

Uploading music to your iPod, or buying CDs? Depends. I used to buy the CDs of my favorite artists then just download the other music I’m not as passionate about.

Fruits or vegitables? VEGETABLESSSSSSSSSSSS. I hate fruits.

Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate, for the most part. Vanilla tastes like nothing to me. Baseball or football? I don’t watch either and I probably won’t enjoy either either lmao, but I have a bias towards football because my girlfriend’s sisters play the sport. The mall with a bunch of little stores, or one single, big store? Malls kinda work differently here... they’re all one big building with a bunch of restaurants, clothing shops, sports shops, novelty stores, etc. Rap music or rock and roll? Not a big fan of either but I’d go with rock and roll I guess. I like some rap but none of them make me feel things, which rock can sometimes do for me. Roller skates or roller blades? I owned a pair of roller blades when I was 10 and had fun memories with it even though I never did learn how to do it properly. Horror movies that give you nightmares, or romance that makes you vomit? Horror for sure. I don’t even like romance-only movies; they have to be laced with a lot of comedy in between for me to enjoy them. Making more friends or making more money? Making more money sorry LMAOOOOOO Living it up and being stupid, or being safe and never pay the price? I’d always rather be safe. I hate getting reprimanded or caught doing something bad or being punished. Doing more of the talking, or more of the listening in a conversation? Listening, please. I don’t like having the attention on me for too long. Giving or receiving? Giving I guess? I always have a pretty good sense of what my loved ones need, and it’s always nice to see how good they feel when I give it to them. Cats or dogs? Dogs. Playing on the swingsets or the slides (as a kid)? Swings. I was traumatized by one slide when I was 6 because it was apparently blistering hot when I slid down from it, and it almost burned my butt off lmao.

Would you rather...

Bolding these because I’m lazy.

Live off of just food for 2 days, or just beverage for 2 days?

Tell a lie and be believable, or tell the truth and still be blamed?

Die at 65 with the love of your life, or live to 85 being single?

Fart and be heard from far away or fart and be smelled from far away?

Be tickled for an hour straight or be woken up by a bucket of cold water?

Have a cabel snap while bunjee jumping or have the bar go up on a coaster?

Have a deadly plague or a nuclear bomb hit your country? (Don't get ideas!) < This is a sick question to ask these days lol. I’m not answering.

Lick a frozen telephone pole or stick your hand in dry ice? Be rejected by your favorite celebrity or by someone you secretly admire? Give up your favorite food for eternity or eat a bowl of dead spiders? Make a lot of money at a job you hate or little money at a job you love? Jump off a bridge or from a moving car? < Another sick question.

Favorites...

Color(s): Pink, sky blue, off-white.

Song(s): I don’t have one at the moment. I haven’t listened to any music in a while, save for lo-fi.

Artist(s): Beyoncé if we’re talking solo, Paramore if you mean bands.

Music genre: I don’t have a favorite one; my taste is pretty scattered.

Movie: Two for the Road or Good Will Hunting

TV show: Breaking Bad, Friends, BoJack Horseman, Queer Eye

Actor and actress: Gregory Peck; Audrey Hepburn or Kristen Stewart

Movie/TV genre: Romantic comedy or drama lmao, I’m a sappy bitch. Suspense and psychological horror are also cool.

Restarant: Yabu, Mendokoro Ramenba, or Silantro

Food: Sushi

Dessert: Macarons

Hobby: Going to museums! Or reading about the history of anything.

Activity to do out of boredom: Scroll my social media feeds orrrrrr do surveys, or watch cooking videos on YouTube heh.

Type of weather: Bleak, rainy, and chilly.

Book: I don’t have a favorite.

Subject in school: History

Item that you own: My car hahahaha

Pastime: Eating out and window shopping. Maybe I’m just saying these because I haven’t been to a mall in a while :/

Site: Palawan

Tourist attraction: I’ve always wanted to go to those towers that lets you go to the top floor and the floor is just literal glass. If I’m gonna be a tourist-y tourist, that’s the first place I’d go to haha.

Random questions in your own words...

If you could have any desired superpower, what would it be?

The history nerd in me would take up time travel in an instant. And I won’t even be using it as a superpower lmao, it’d be like a research pastime for me.

What would be your dream job?

If I wasn’t such an introvert and if I were a lot better in handling crowds, I really would have wanted to be a pro wrestler.

Descibe your dream date:

Museum in the day, cute dinner at night.

What was the best day of your life like?

I don’t know if that has happened yet.

What was the worst day of your life like?

So far my worst day was when I wasn’t accepted into my school paper in high school and I spent like 18 hours crying my eyes out. I liked writing and was accepted for my portfolio, but people thought I was too shy to fit the group’s dynamic and ended up getting booted. There are quiet writers too, assholes.

If you ever have kids one day, what you you name them?

Too early for this lol I’ve only had name picked out - Olivia.

What's one thing that will bring you out of your worst mood no matter what?

My dog. FOR SURE.

Who's the most annoying person you've ever encountered?

Jem, someone from my college who thinks she’s close with me but I really do not like her at all.

If you could grow up to be like anybody, who would it be?

I don’t believe in having role models. I just want to be the best version of myself.

If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?

My mental health could be mental healthier.

What's your favorite inspirational/famous quote? I don’t depend on these either. Describe your dream ice cream sundae (unlimited toppings): Meh, I don’t like sundaes. Just scoops would be fine with me. What comes to mind first when you think of your favorite color? I have no idea why this is what I remember, but it was the day I went shopping for school supplies and got myself a pink clipboard, pink pencil case, pink expander, and pink highlighters. I think it’s because it was that day where I had to acknowledge that pink was in fact, unironically, my favorite color HAHAHA What's something in your life that you once hated but came to like? ^ The color pink. And chicken curry. What's something in your life that you once liked but came to hate? Cooked salmon. There was one phase my mom made it almost everyday and I just got sick of it. I refuse to eat salmon to this day unless it’s sashimi or in sushi. If you could stop any chaos/problem in our world today, what would it be? This fucking pandemic. 2020 CAN’T CONTINUE BECAUSE OF YOU. What would be the best way to die, in your opinion? Peacefully, in sleep, with no pain. What would be the worst way to die? Falling off a cliff (or anywhere high) and landing on a boulder EUGH I cringe at it. Also getting impaled. AND plane crashes. If you could give your room a free makeover, what would you do to it? I’d make it look spacier by moving the bed to the wall so there’s a lot of free space in the middle. I’d also add a desk, work chair, and a lamp so I can study there. If you could have an unlimited amount of anything, what would it be? The number of years my dog would live. What's one thing that you like that would probably surprise your friends? They know I like punk rock in general but I haven’t shared any of the music with them. It would definitely surprise them. Out of everything in the world, what holds the most meaning to you? Stability.

[locria-writes]

Do you mind posting a list of all the good otome games you've played or are really interested in? Or if that's too complicated, maybe a list of your top 10 favourites? I see you posting about them often and I've been wanting to try some of them because...hello hot guys galore...😱😱😱

you don’t know how much i love gushing about otome games and my harem of husbandos (also lmao i’ve outed my terrible tastes here)

pc games

steam prison // so so good, definitely recommend! my only complaint is that you can’t romance Good Boi finn (by proxy depriving us of that wonderful cyrus/sachsen banter), but i guess i can settle for adage lmao. hits a very good balance between humour and seriousness, but it’s a really long game to complete

nightshade // honestly, one of my absolute favourites ever. ost is kickass, sprites are gorgeous, and the plot is pretty good. they’re literally all such good beans ugh i love them all. depending on the play order you do, and whether you do the bad ends or not, it can be not-too-painful sad to wow-just-rip-my-heart-out-and-stomp-on-it sad. goemon is honestly the best though, just saying

hakuouki // i’d recommend both games, but if you can’t afford it, then get edo blossoms, since that’s where most of the romance is. also, they get their western uniforms in that one!!! hachiro is still my best boi (sorry okita, heisuke, harada, and everyone else). suuuuuper long to play through, i think it took me ~60 hrs to complete everything, but it’s a labour of love

amnesia // okay, i trashtalk this a lot, but it’s a solid game except for when they did my boi toma dirty >:c ikki is definitely best boi though. some routes are better than others (read: toma’s route is pretty meh while everyone else has pretty great ones), but ukyo arguably has the best and saddest one. i feel like this is almost an otome staple at this point lmao

nameless // another classic and favourite of mine! yandere galore, more than a little heartbreaking, and wow just wow overall. they’re all such sweet guys (yes, tei and ??? included), and the side characters are all fantastic and very memorable. it’s kinda long though, i think 50+ hrs to finish everything, but oh my god is it worth it. i teared up quite a few times

ozmafia!! // a controversial choice, but i loved all the characters in it, and in the end, the plot did pay off. it just feels like a very cramped and rushed game at times, but the characters make up for it, honestly. i’m just mad over how they did my boi hamelin so fricking dirty #JusticeForHamelin #HamelinDidNothingWrong yes i’m still salty about it

cinderella phenomenon // highly recommend this one since it’s free! it’s probably my favourite oelvn to date -- beautiful art, great storyline, and wonderful characters except when they did my boi varg so so dirty :c the last 2 routes are definitely more painful than the first 3, and way more important to the plot.

the rose of segunda //another oelvn i highly recommend! pretty, a great read, and lovable characters. there’s a secret romance too, and holy god it was so good! frederique and mc are so great together, and i honestly fell so hard for leopold because w o w  i love me an ambitious man like him

monochrome heaven* // i have so many feelings about this one, but i’ll still recommend it lol. it’s very...depressing and can get difficult to read at times. honestly, it says a lot when the worst boi turns out to be the best boi. i remember just feeling so hollow after finishing the game, but it was worth the hours i invested

‘till death do us part* // a very questionable addition to this list, but i really liked it. marcus and jack are probably the most ‘romantic’ of the bunch, but i guess it’s not really an otome game

boyfriend to death 1 & 2* // 2 more questionable choices a la the above, but i enjoyed them both. lawrence, damien, and strade were my favourite guys

mobile games

ikemen sengoku // l o o k, i’m a sucker for the sengoku era, beautiful art, and great casting choices for voices okay??? i like playing softer and more light-hearted games sometimes, and this is the perfect game for that. honestly, every single guy is likable and none of them treat mc terribly (yes, including the yandere, the snek, and the playboy).

ikemen revolution // honestly, the same as the above. a great light read, lovable cast, and beautiful art. also, super stoked for mousse atlas to get over here because i’ve already decided that i’m completely in love with him

ikemen vampire // yeah, i know this isn’t out yet in english, but from what i played of jpn and what i’ve read of translations, i love it already. kinda feels like fate meets otome, and i love all the character designs, voices, and concepts

samurai love ballad party // like ikemen sengoku, but angstier lmao. i don’t really like the art and the sprites, but the story and characters are great, so i don’t really mind. i just wish my faves would stop being such disasters (ieyasu, sakuya, nobuyuki, kotaro)

love and producer/mr love queen’s choice // HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT MY LORD AND SAVIOUR BAI QI/GAVIN???? if you’ve played love nikki, it’s the same kind of grind, but i don’t even care??? the cards are beautiful??? the bois are all so wonderful and cute and perfect (yes, even shady af scientist)???? have i told you how wonderful and perfect my husband bai gege is??? also, download the japanese voice pack, the eng dub is kinda crappy

mystic messenger // so time-consuming, but so addicting lol. very fun, surprisingly dark, and all the characters are great (except for rika, we all hate rika). 707 is my home boi, but saeran is fantastic and i demand a proper unknown route because i want to get terrified by this lovely edgy angsty kid

my last first kiss // i can sell this in 3 words -- childhood friend romance. like, that’s my jam right there. i love the guys and their relationships with mc (fussy ayato is so cute, and mako and taka are so so sweet with mc). super fun and sweet read

lust in terror manor* // an elusive horror otome! it’s too bad it never got properly completed, but i guess there’s some kind of closure? translation’s kinda crappy, but good enough to read. rui and naoto were kinda meh, but hayato was the best boi, sorry i don’t make the rules.

several shades of sadism* // okay i can explain -- i love trashmen, i love guys with serious emotional baggage, and i love guys with flaws that make them oh so very real. minato is my favourite trashbag and i actually almost cried during his route because even though he’s an asshole, he’s really trying his best

cinderella contract* // this is where you realize i have no taste/standards whatsoever. trashy, i know, but goddamn i’m so invested in this. yuri is the trashiest of them all, and therefore he’s my husband sorry i don’t make the rules

princess of the moon* // ah yes, the trashiest of the trashy and i’m so ashamed i read this, let alone enjoy it as much as i do. very very smutty but i’m disappointed my boi dean didn’t get released on the og app

(*) -- game contains dubcon/noncon and just very questionable content in general. not for the faint of heart at all

[fireeaglespirit]

@fireeaglespirit @viviane-lefay i do worry sometimes with the stories I write if things might be too much for you. To be fair I dont think in any fanfic Ive ever written anything too explicit but now Im so conscious of other people’s viewpoints and being inclusive that it is a concern. Ultimately I write what I want to/need to but I am aware it might not be for all tastes hence always trying to follow ratings etc.

Replying here so it doesn’t cause any problems with OP, etc..

Ohh. I’m sorry if this worried you.. tbh this was very random and I wasn’t even thinking about fiction when I rb this. This one reminded me of a few times I went out with friends and colleagues and I just felt starkly asexual, lmao

About my tolerance regarding sex and explicitly in fiction, I’ll be honest with you…

There’s hardly anything I could say I wouldn’t read about. I just don’t feel ‘triggers’ or anything of the sort, no hard feelings when it gets to fiction and I value your will to be conscious of other viewpoints but its practically impossible to cater to all tastes like you said, so don’t worry about it much… there’s always someone out there who will feel offended and others who will fiercely love it.

As for myself, I’m very tolerant to sexual content in fiction, idk? I don’t seek it out particularly but its not a deal breaker either.

I know some asexual people are less tolerant, I usually just get a ‘meh’ feeling whenever those subjects are touched in much detail, idk some works do get nasty and bothersome because of much detail involving sexual practices so I just give up on them or put them aside when they bring me no joy but I gladly consume material with sex on it as long as I like some aspects of it. Also, I’m good at ignoring or glossing over things I don’t like in fiction… when I read explicit scenes with intercourse it does nothing to me and my eyes focuses on the sentences I loved such as regarding the feelings between the characters and subtle interactions instead of the physical/carnal aspects of it, and this makes it all worthy it.

Even so, some works might become overwhelmingly depressive or repulsive so I might put them aside even if I enjoyed an aspect of it or I might just skip through them and this happened recently to a series of fantasy books I tried to read which were actually really good but they were so overwhelmingly and unnecessarily dark and had an horrid oppressive atmosphere towards women an sex so I just felt no joy reading them? Its not like I was traumatized by its tone but it felt like a chore and I couldn’t care about it further and no character inspired me whatsoever that the world could change for the better, so I dropped them.

But its not like I’m judging it, I just feel weirded out to some things and I just imagine the kind of mind that takes upon themselves the chore to write a whole series of book which has nothing but suffering and misery in them, especially concerning women, lol. We already had this shit in history and still have in some places in the world so I kinda feel like its not interesting for me to read about it in a fictional setting, especially if I don’t feel like the writer is going to challenge the setting.

But I’m aware most people are much more sensitive… these things can be horrid for those who are more sensitive, and perhaps my own asexuality protects me from feeling it fully as I don’t even think of myself as a being capable of partaking in this (weird, I know), so I have problem even projecting.

But I did felt really strongly for the way women were oppressed absurdly and had their agency completely obliterated, so that sparked a sort of empathy or kinship in me which made progress in such book a chore…

You got my point and this just illustrates a bit my relationship to fiction and things that irk me since you were interested in my opinion… I have another example of fantasy book with lots of sex in it:

I read asoiaf even thought its full of sexual stuff but I don’t feel joy at these parts, yet the work is so good on other themes that I ignore it for the most part… but even so, recently I’ve read F&B and it was kinda overwhelming on the sexist aspect with myriads of female characters turned into child brides and raped and dying at their childbirth repeatedly it just got very tiresome and repetitive near the end, because there where almost no counterpoints to it, unlike in the main series where the situation is dire for women but we have characters challenging it more often and idk. F&B just lacked on that front.

So, this shows a bit my sensitivity towards sex is more related to sexism and the feeling that women are confined to their reproductive aspects: motherhood, childbearing, marriage, sensuality, etc.. I don’t have a problem with sexual intercourse per se as you can see, but that’s from my unique point of view and I know some asexuals are more repulsed towards it, but you asked my opinion…

So, if its consensual sex: its not my cup of tea but I don’t feel like its a deal breaker…

Just to give you a positive sex example: when I see an OTP of mine getting to the point of having sex I think its pretty sweet, like when Jon and Dany consummated their love on that boat… I was happy for them, for all that it means, the symbolism between the union of ice and fire and just two characters which I love dearly, finding happiness and comfort in each other. What’s not to love about it??

This is a rare stance I can say I saw a pair I ship get to that point xD

I love shipping as you know, but its more about the psychological aspects and potential for character development and even when I’m reading fanfic about my OTPs I enjoy more the angst and symbolism than the ‘hot’ parts which usually just makes me go ‘meh’ (again).

So this makes me say: when sex is the focus of works I could feel like I’m too asexual for this, even if it regards an OTP, it just doesn’t have a very exciting effect on me or I’m not explicitly interested in this part of a relationship, when so many other things caught my eye… sometimes subtle interactions and dialogue and and gentle approximation (touches, caresses, kissing, etc..) is so much more exciting for me to read about than the ‘thing’ itself, lol.

To sum it up: when its there just for p*rn or even worse, shock value it just makes me go ‘meh’ or ‘ugh’ or ‘uhh why am I even reading this?’

This reminds me of Vivi’s take on the ‘hiero gamos’, in this case I just say I might even enjoy the theme as long as the scenes involving sex are meaningful and passionate and the aspect I value the most about them are sublime and platonic instead of carnal but I’m aware the carnal aspects are very important for the characters and the audience so I also worry when I get to show my stories people will think they lack sexual content ^^  I get you.

Now that you know my feelings towards sex in fiction, to a broader sense I just wanted to say..

There’s no way to guess people’s sensitives but it doesn’t mean you need to walk on eggshells afraid to trigger people all the time, hell no! I’m all for freedom of creation. At least around me there are no metaphorical ‘eggshells’.

Everyone has their own set of opinions which makes them unique, not just me, I mean…  even so I will let my snowflake syndrome show but I’m quite peculiar if you could say, so I sort of grew a strong ‘carapace’ towards the world as I deal with people with completely different views and values on a daily basis which might make me have inflamed political opinions while at the same time, I’m very flexible and forgiving when it comes to fiction in general.

I don’t expect much of the population to be like this so I’m also self conscious when it gets to writing my own stuff because I know people can feel very strongly about it and you’ve seen the way fandom reacts to minor things and bash creators when they perceive flaws in their work… I’m just not a judgmental person, its not in my nature. I just ignore things in fiction if I don’t like and I became even more relaxed over time in regards to this all, lol I nearly reached a ‘nirvana’ as I don’t even feel strongly negative feelings in regard to this.

Snarky and bitter comments from time to time? Yes… but no hard feelings. RL needs my hatred, lol so I don’t have it to spare with fiction any longer.

Anyway, on an unrelated sub note… as you might have noticed, I don’t feel comfortable about current fandom trends and specially policing, and with reason as this gets very serious and quick with literally ‘wave chain reactions’ of hatred sparked apparently from nowhere. I hope people could create more freely instead of the political correct police and restraining of creativity we have now. It was good for a while and I’m all for diversity and change in status quo (for the better), but I think this has gone too far and I perceive a lot of rigidity in fiction right now due to fear of fandom backlash we have creators afraid to make their thing and afraid it isn’t ‘inclusive or progressive’ enough… so they bend themselves endlessly until fandom ‘approves’ them, but even so someone is bound to scream and say the work is offensive and the cycle of hatred is restarted.

I know this reply was like a huge egocentric monologue and I strained with non related issues at the end, but you asked my thought on this so I tried to convey it with detail.. including things related to the perception we have concerning fictional themes and I just kinda had to vent at some parts of it.

etc…. This doesn’t mean I forbid judgment from others or criticism or that I forbid people from harshly criticizing works of fiction, just that sometimes it gets more harmful than beneficial and scare people off, and I felt like saying that.

Anyway,,, just want to say nonetheless I find it very sweet and considerate that you are taking different opinions in mind while writing, but you don’t need to worry at least from my part, and I don’t think you ever got even close to being explicit in your writings so there’s absolutely nothing to worry about.

[abyss-mal-blog1]

current mind-space//word vomit

it’s amazing how much can change in a few days, but it hasn’t been a week since my finals ended and i already felt so different. i have been doing f45 everyday this week (if not then some kind of workout, but i’ve really been into that recently). i am feeling so much better now without deadlines, sometimes i don’t know if i function better under pressure or not. i guess not, but then it’s amazing how much i can do and achieve under pressure. i need the right amount of pressure, and this semester it has been a little difficult for me to get around that. 

last friday was kinda my last day of finals, i just had an essay to submit, and i am disappointed in myself and my work ethic because i submitted it at 9pm, went to my cousin’s (disappointing) party, and then professor emailed me to say that she cannot read Pages format (seriously smh @ my tardiness!!!), only got back at 1am that night and sent my mediocre essay. i am a little sad about it because i know that is not my 100%. idk why but college so far has just been a series of 80% effort. this paper was an interesting one, on airbnb, on the sharing economy, it’s a performance studies paper where i analyze the hospitality platform in terms of host-user relationship, parasitism and (attempted) to talk about free online labor. it is a little too late now but i kinda want to work on it again and like, submit for feedback. maybe ill ask taylor. 

last saturday was kinda meh, i agreed to go to a *social* kinda event at a bar/club at chelsea, held for Asian-ivy-alumni-people that yanlin invited me too. it was at up&up and honestly a little...i didn’t enjoy it at all. the music sucked, the people were either too dorky or gross or old or weird, and the whole time i just kept saying to myself, “never again”. they said it was open bar but they only served absolut, which was shit. and then my friend’s two friends were...i feel sorry that this was their first clubbing experience. at the beginning my reaction was look at all these ivy alumni! get hitched with one of them for ~da connectsx~ (and nothing else) but no kidding i was actually interested in talking to them just to get to know what people who graduated from ivies are up to, and what are they doing at such events...and are they actually enjoying themselves because it was really kinda gross. met my friend’s friend who seemed like a really smart engineer (he asked for my number the next day lol), and a german dude at the bar who didn’t want to get me a drink. all i needed that night was a drink.....(i’m glad i didn’t drink tho because recently drinking has made me feel all kinds of bad)  we had ramen after at ramen-ya (most probably the worst ramen and charsiew i’ve had but what can we do at 3am and my friend wanted noodle and soup...)

on sunday i KNow i should have left my house earlier to workout but i didn’t. i was angry at myself that i didn’t. instead, i stayed at home and emotion-ate. i must have eaten more green bean soup than my stomach would have liked. what else...avocado? i remember..two bananas? god. this was the day i felt like i was n’s boyfriend because i had to do what she wanted to do. i know i had agreed on going, but at that point i really wanted to go thrifting or something. i mean when i got to central park it was fine and things were good but the whole day just felt like i was kinda pulled into doing something that wasn’t my first choice of plans, not that i didn’t enjoy myself lying under the sun at the park. it just felt like i was accompanying someone. i was half an hour late to meet her as well, and half heartedly got a burrito-wrap at newsbar. if you think about it it is really kinda funny, we’re just buying food and taking the subway to this grass patch 50 blocks away. we didn’t walk much, we literally only stayed at a little grassy slope overlooking the baseball pitch. anyway we went to a dance class after (the class was an hour long but i felt like n had asked me about when and what time we should book the classes for more than an hour by text so i just got really sick of it) i rushed home and got dinner with my uncle who’s in town for my cousin’s graduation. i was surprised that he chose the same japanese restaurant again, after dissing it half a year ago we ate here. the omakase was crazy and it cost 230 per person. (for the most expensive set) it was also kinda dumb because you aren’t allowed to order a different omakase set from anyone else - everyone on the table has to order the same - because of “timing”. i wonder if this is how it is in japanese omakase etiquette, but in any case it really earned them a hefty amount because my uncle decided to get 230 for all of us. qiyang didn’t like and said qiqi had bad taste, hahaha. the food wasn’t bad, i mean it’s japanese fusion, but the prices were way too steep for the taste. anyway enough about the food, during the dinner i think we talked about many things though. i kinda wanted to talk to my uncle individually because i think he is the only one who knows about ah gong, but he was sick, and i could tell he was exhausted. my aunt got a little impatient because i didn’t arrange plans to take their furniture and they were going to throw all of them away and it was actually the first time i’ve seen her get so worked up - but at the same time trying to control her emotions - because she was talking to me. i could tell she was annoyed though but i tried not to take it personally, and arranged it tomorrow. 

arranging the moving stuff was kinda last minute, i was walking to the library for work one day and i saw a truck that said MakeSpace. i assumed it was a kind of moving company and so i looked them up. they seemed to be pretty okay in terms of their services and so i decided to try them out. confirmation and setting up an appointment went pretty smoothly, except for the part where the guy i think his name was joseph, asked me to give my credit card details over the phone. idk why i did that! i stopped though, and asked him why, to which he replied he wanted to key in with the coupon code. this service has so much gimmicks within the first 2-3 minutes on the phone he was already telling me about how the first pick up is free, and that he will deduct 100$ off the first month...when people give you discounts too easily it just feels like a ploy and a thing they give to everyone, it’s not anything special and it’s probably calculated inside whatever we have to pay. anyway, i was just thinking it would be cheaper (assuming the maximum that i would have to pay is ~$500, as i confirmed with them on the phone yesterday), it’d still be cheaper than starting an apartment lease now and going through the trouble of finding two subletters. 

well. idk, it’s also easy to have things all moved in, i have to find a place to store my perishables!

moving is so much work, and storing things. this reminds me of my paper on airbnb and about the digital nomad lifestyle. it is interesting though, that this is what it has become. but the homogenized aesthetic is something i really cannot stand, in airbnb, in coffeeshops around the world..i am sure you know what i’m talking about. a new york times writer did something about this - he termed it “Airspace” - and apparently it originated from Brooklyn. I guess that’s where the art/avant-garde stuff started. well. keep a look out im gonna write a blogpost about that 

moving on 

nat came to sleepover on sunday night and a few days after because the school kicks you out of the dorms you pay so much for right after your final ends. i forgot if we did something fun but i probably just fell asleep. 

on monday i think i went to f45 and did cardio at Dumbo with Gi. he seems like a pretty nice trainer, the first time i went it was him and another girl Bertha (i think my first f45 was last tuesday) and i felt like i had two personal trainers with me - Gi was cheering me on and Bertha was doing it with me. it felt like such a good workout, one of the best ive had in a while. then work, where i arranged the movers stuff. i also realized i bought the wrong date for my flight ticket as my friends and had to buy one more...............

tuesday was the same f45 in the morning, and the bobst after. didn’t really get much work done at bobst. oh i also viewed a 3BR flex at 160. hella expensive and small, and dates didn’t work out anyway. also the broker who brought us to view the apartment was a very nice tall french man and his name was jean-francois which i couldn’t pronounce and asked nat but still called him jean as in jeen instead of john. this is why i have to learn french. you’re embarrassing. i also went to the itp/ima spring show with shubham which was super cool. there were many cool ideas, and i just wonder if i could create something like that. i didn’t get to see all of the exhibits which i regret, but i remember a few notable projects. one was an installation made with keyboards that randomly clicks, but when you hold your phone up it’ll stop. it’s made using 3d gestures. there’s also one at a gallery for surveillance, this team had a thing they call facebox, and it’s literally a box, that when you open it has a webcam that would capture your face, find you on facebook, and print out an invoice/receipt on how much you have earned for this giant tech company.  what else...an AR project that when you scan a food,  it shows you where the food comes from. nat said that she would love it if menus have something they could scan and then have pictures appear in ~holographic~ format, or maybe in the nearer future something on your phone that shows you a picture of the picture of the food. but isn’t it a surprise tho? sometimes the fun’s in the surprise, you read the description, you know what are the foods you’ll eat, leaving room to imagine or be surprised by how the chef puts it together! anyway, went for dinner with nat and jenny - got vegan shwarma (definitely wasn’t worth $14) and went to get crepes with will after. 

wednesday we were gonna go to the dmv but we weren’t prepared. nat also needed to get her passport and she was lazy. wow the number of times i mentioned her, it feels like she’s my boyfriend at this point. talked to famz, sister, and beatrix. am currently considering if i should even go to beijing or just go straight home. fuck. went to bobst for work but no one was there i was just really sleepy. viewed an apartment at 55 morton (it’s a nice quiet residential street that seems to be tucked away from the loud cars and bars and people) then i went to f45 again-varsity!!! cardio!!!, walked across brooklyn bridge (a little regret although i wanted to walk, but my bag was heavy and there were too many tourists to brisk walk) 

also the reason for this is that after my soba/miso/salad/shrimp dinner last night i was just watching a bunch of netflix shows and it was probably the caffeine from puerto rican roasting company - the barista made me a chai cappuccino with almond milk (3 SHOTS!!!)

me and nat couldn’t sleep, i really think i slept for an hour. i watched so many different shows, yoko and john’s documentary, while we were young, anthony bourdain, i was seriously flipping through all the shows and alternating between amazonprme and youtube and netflix and i even tried watching peaceful cuisine and making the brightness lower and had the sleep mode on and wow i just couldn’t sleep

so yeah the birth of this word vomit 

i am going to create more things

[kaaras-adaar-a]

*tosses Pelle for the character thing*

send me a character & I’ll answer the following about them!

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff - I think I’ve seen you mention he’s a Ravenclaw? >.> 

best quality: He’s really determined and I kinda like his stance on how he views his people. He’s not this devout Dalish who is like oh elfy things this and that, he actually sees where the problems lie in their culture, and he tries to make a difference out of it. It takes a strong person to do that and not just stay ignorant for the sake of their people. I really like that quality in him. I also like that he has a thing for qunari :P I can relate, haha.

worst quality: He’s stubborn (but I mean so is Kaaras lol XD). I think Pelle still has a little bit of growing up to do, but he’s also a really young muse, so that makes SENSE, and I like that he can be that way as well. Not every muse is this wise old man that has experience up their sleeves, I like that struggle, I like them learning and bettering themselves. But sometimes I forget he’s a muse that’s essentially been married. :’D 

ship them with: So long as Pelle is in a happy relationship, then it’s good to go :3 I don’t know a lot of Pelle’s ships, tho, so I can’t say ^^; 

brotp them with: No idea tbh haha. Who’s his fave companion? There we go XD

needs to stay away from: I feel like it would be beneficial for Pelle to actually stay away from his clan >.> 

misc. thoughts: I admit, I always feel a bit strange about younger Inquisitor’s in that role, but that’s probably because I’m an old fart, lol. I feel bad that they wouldn’t be able to handle the stresses of such a life, because it’s A LOT for someone who’s never dealt with any experience in that area, even for people who HAVE. So I always just feel bad for younger Inquisitor’s in that role.

As for a companion, tho, I really enjoy Pelle and think he’s a nerd XD He’s good at what he does, and I think he gets along with a lot of people which is really nice to see. I hate that he and Kaaras started on such a negative foot, because it’s so damn hard for Kaaras to change his mind on someone (stubborn arse lol), but I think they’re VERY SLOWLY getting friendlier - and it’s entirely on Kaaras being slow because it’s Kaaras and their different perspectives really just left a sour taste in his mouth -_-. *sigh* This is what I deal with XD 

[mazojo]

As always ranking the anime based on the first episode impressions for my entertainment asksjwj, didn’t include the movies and specials that haven’t come out only series:

Futsal boys - this was so disappointing askdjsjs sad that the things I look forward to end up being mediocre but this was super meh. Characters are kinda bland and animation super eHh and idk it seemed like it was rushing? Didn’t like it much unfortunately :(

Tribe nine - this was bad ASJDJS but it’s so ridiculously bad and over the top to such an abstract concept as deadly baseball that it kept me watching AMAKSKS I enjoyed the character design because uhhh danganronpa but so far very meh

Tokyo 24-ku - omg look!!! Cloverworks disappointing me yet again 🤩 love getting played by an anime studio constantly!! This was extremely mid as of the first ep. very bland, a lot of point plots introduced that were hard to keep up and idk, tbh the only saving grace here imo was red haired and green haired guy the rest very ehhh. I had a lot of hopes for this one so maybe that’s why I got more disapointed lel

Hakozume - the best part was when they were having a moment and locked eyes for like 10 seconds, the rest it was kinda like trying to be woke about cops and idk doesn’t really vibe with me tbh asdfghk it was okay I guess, animation super mediocre but we’ll see

Barou no Sourersu - this one is a big question mark for me because I don’t know if I liked it or it irritates me. I liked the moment Henry and Richard had, I love me my enemies to forbidden lovers or what not but I think there were so many characters and things happening at once I was left more confused than anything ?? Also not sure but I find it weird that the intersex associations they are making relate to the mc being a demon ? Idkidk seems sketch to me but we’ll see....

Akebi-chan no Sailor-fuku: this was cute. Like in a boring kind of way but still cute ya know?? SKSKSK I mean..... it’s very slice of life-y and it’s cute here and there but nothing really new or original but it was cute ig

Koroshi Ai - in theory this show sounds good and I hope it improves as the season goes on but I don’t know what it was about main guy that just rubbed me off the wrong way asksjwj it’s an alright concept I just hope it has substance because right now it was a bit mediocre ngl but i do enjoy my enemies to lovers so there’s that

Aot: The Final Season Part 2: aot is good I don’t think I can say much more on it aksksks not the biggest fan because it’s confusing to me but it’s still solid, I don’t think you need me to tell you to give it a try here lmaoo

Demon slayer - I mean we all know that demon slayer is solid, great animation, good characters, okay story,,,, I’ve talked about how burned out from Demon Slayer I got after finishing the manga so I cant enjoy it as much as I normally would have sadly but hey!!! Tanjiro is still best boy !!!!

Orient - idk man maybe I have bad taste because everyone is shitting on this but I actually enjoyed it lmao?? Like I know it’s an overused concept but I liked the animation, the characters and it seems solid? I liked it lol

The orbital children - it was good? I think? Like there were so many things happening at the same time it kinda over estimulares my smol brain but I like the concept enough even though there were a lot of texts and colors that kinda made me lost my track but it seems okay so far, am gonna binge it after writing this probs it’s only 6 eps and they were all released

Vanitas no Carte part 2 - I liked it a lot ASKSJSJS but I might be biased because this is one of my favorite arcs so ripp,,,,, Noe and Vanitas are as showstopping as ever and we got Jean Jacques and Chloe so I ain’t complaining. Not much to say other than yeah keep watching it if you watched part 1 lolll

Fabiniku - this wasn’t on my watchlist originally because I don’t like isekais but I..... I thought.... I thought the concept was..... SKSKKSK this is not good but it’s not bad and it’s actually kind of funny and ridiculous over the top of you don’t stop to think too deep into it and ASDNDJSJ I am..... I am not gonna say anything else

My dress up darling - adorable!!! I loved it! The animation was amazing and it seems like a cute story! I love seeing cosplayers so an anime about it should be fun and the two main characters are super cute we stan

Ryman’s Club - very tied with my dress up darling it was very good!!! I was honestly not expecting that much from it because I thought it would just be another sleeper but very good animation and characters from ep 1!!! Badminton gotta be my favorite simping sport ngL 😌

Sasaki to Miyano - omg bestie they are in love !!! I really liked it !! And I was surprised because I was a bit on edge because I never ended up reading the manga but it was super cute!! Love the animation and the dynamic is adorable so far, big fan of it ngll

Winter 2021 Anime Watchlist

Kimetsu no Yaiba: Yuukaku-hen - December 5

Hakozume: Kouban Joshi no Gyakushuu - January 5

Tokyo 24-ku - January 6

Baraou no Souretsu - January 9

Akebi-chan no Sailor-fuku - January 9

Futsal Boys!!!!! - January 9

Shingeki no Kyojin: The Final Season Part 2 - January 10

Sasaki to Miyano - January 10

Vanitas no Karte 2nd Season - January 15

Chikyuugai Shounen Shoujo - January 28

Sono Bisque Doll wa Koi wo Suru - January

Koroshi Ai - January

Orient - January

Tribe Nine - January

Ryman’s Club - January

Fruits Basket: Prelude - February 18

Goodbye, DonGlees! - February 18

Blue Thermal - March