#also kinda interesting seeing like . how i draw myself vs how i actually look .

[justablah56]

recently drew a new pfp for my aro sideblog and I'm deciding to post it on here bcs I can <3

anyways Aether self portrait bcs why not 👍

[eyeris-moni]

are jeff and raz.. kissboys..???!?!

This ask's wording had me DYING HELP

Forever adding that to my mental dictionary HAHAHA

I have to be completely honest with you, I myself have no hecking clue what their relationship is.

And I HAVE TRIED TO FIGURE OUT OK OTL

The TLDR is that I don't know!! and that you're welcome to HC and see them how you want as of now.

My own reins are loose and I just draw what feels in character (:

Thought-vomit below in case you want to hear my thoughts on it. It's long because i cannot for the life of me remember how much I've talked about before--

__________________

Most of the time I'm more focused on exploring the intricate, intimate feelings of their dynamic (something I just can't do justice with a couple of doodles here and there aughh).

Like--

Let's talk about the almost infantilized elements of Raz's repressed nature.

(Btw, this is not an issue to me - don't feel bad if you genuinely, or even on a meme level, refer to him as a baby. From Raz's perspective, that's how you're meant to, and in turn, that's the narrative I often draw. I draw him cute - he is cute!)

Every character, viewer included, is invited to see Raz as 'babi OwO', because that's a part of Raz's wants. When he feels threatening, he will literally make himself smaller, visually plead for you to see him that way.

Not because he is a tiny baby, but because he has learnt that doing so makes people nicer to him. He doesn't actually ever become a child. Instead he will look the part to spark care in others, and adapt a very simplistic worldview when needed. Not because he cannot grasp anything more complicated, but because it's too distressing to do so!

Like imagine how you might start thinking politics in term of simple 'bad' vs. 'good'. Not because there isn't nuance, but because it's stressful and exhausting and takes away your ability to be happy.

Sometimes Raz does that, but instead of it being politics, it's everything!

And I think it's genuinely interesting how Jeff kind of knows this and once he gets an idea of how it works, he doesn't coddle or treat Raz like a child.

In part because he's a stubborn asshole and kind of refuses to infantilize Raz beyond what is 'healthy'.

He learns to treat Raz as an adult, but obviously simplifies and helps out when Raz is overwhelmed. Example:

The rest of the times he and EJ do their best to help Raz learn how to be responsible and build healthier relationship. How to be self-sufficient.

And it's important because it's Jeff that's pushing for Slender to let him into the mansion, arguing that Raz isn't just a kid, but an adult that can take responsibility for his actions. He's pushing and arguing for Raz to be viewed the same way Jeff knows he can be, capable and responsible.

THAT IS ALL TO SAY I find it genuinely interesting and endearing how Jeff is able to connect with Raz (by being a stubborn asshole) and in turn helps Raz by holding him accountable. To see the glimpses of Ezca before they ever truly met, and how he shuts down Raz's unhealthy habits of making himself smaller, while idolizing everyone around him.

It's cool and I do think it makes their specific relationship special.

I mostly talked about Jeff's influence on Raz, but I could also talk for hours about how my version of Jeff slowly learns to be more patient and more emotional from Raz being around. (I imagine he lost a lot of his ability to be emotional ever since he entered a pact with Slenderman.)

I think their friendship is really cool and complicated and full of little intricate parts and having to label that is HARD GKDNDN

I wouldn't know if there's anything romantic in there - I've never drawn anything with that explicitly in mind?

But I draw them very close! Raz enjoys physical touch and closeness, and as they learn to work together, (especially post roadtrip together,) Jeff is kinda chill having Raz just laying/hanging/sitting around and on him.

Really the one concerned should be Raz because lord knows when Jeff last has showered and washed his clothes but i guess that's a benefit of being non-human NFKDNSJS

_________

I'm so sorry for the insanely long rambly answers!

I've been walking around with these characters in my head for years and it's HARD EXPLAINING STUFF

Also yall keep asking genuinely interesting question about them and the fan/nerd in me desires to make sure I cover my bases-

[clambuoyance]

I really like your style. Was it intentionally designed, or did you just sort of fall into it over time?

I wouldnt say I intentionally designed it, as in I haven't sat down and Engineered a specific style, and instead it was more of me finding what I liked and wanted to incorporate into my style.

You could probably trace my style back to its influences. I used to draw really round shapes (I still do but like they were just ovals and circles...I guess i just like that shape) until I started watching How to Draw Anime tutorials in middleschool T-T (shoutout to Mark Crilley lol)

But when I first joined social media back in 2016, I found all these crazy artists with really unique styles that really influenced me. I was drawn towards artists like star_bite/prince_canary and rawrgyle/grassflu who have very dynamic expressions and character poses :0 (also they ended up working on a Batman and Superman project respectively and how wild is it that my icons from forever ago now work on projects aligned with my current interests!!!) And as you get exposed to different artists you get exposed to the many ways you can Draw things and along with your natural affinities towards certain things (such as me being attracted to Bright and Bold colors and Shaped styles) you kind of naturally build a style.

And part of that is also just having fun Trying things out? Sometimes I wouldnt even try to emulate their style as much as I tried to just...do what they were doing? As in making my ocs and putting them in fun poses, and doing color palette trends and such etc.

I hope that helped! If you're curious I can break down some of my style checkpoints over the years. As you can see there was still some major anime influence in my style back then when I first joined social media around 2015/2016

Around that time, I also discovered the fandom around the Cartoons popular at the time, so I drifted away from anime and drew things like gravity falls/steven universe/otgw etc etc so it got Rounder I guess. I really liked how stylized characters looked and got obsessed with Shape Language and assigning characters distinct Shapes (box vs triangle vs circle etc). I also read a lot of webcomics and stuff like that so those played a part I guess

And then around 2019 I saw more artists drawing anime fanart with really sharp angles, which was completely different but so cool to look at so I tried to incorporate more angles into my art. I still had that very cartoony style but tried to push the Sharpness a tad bit more if you can tell. (I think the name of the artist I liked was jeluto?)

I think around this time I also focused a lot more on color as well and did a lot of paintings then and whenever I did more Painterly stuff I tended to switch Styles into something Less Cartoony T-T

Then by 2020, I revamped my ocs, actually tried to break down and study my own style and how I would draw them, and my style kinda fell into a mix of round vs sharp edges I guess. I tried to give myself Rules which I would follow when stylizing a character to keep it more consistent and intentional.

Then in 2021 some of that Fun Part of stylizing characters into something more Cartoony kind of took a backseat as I focused more on Pose Work and Body Expression instead which I think helped a lot :0

And here's some recent stuff from the past year! Still very cartoony, but less so than 2016 I'd say, and still using really bold colors!! Still love my Soft Vs Hard angles B]

And overall have stronger pose work :) I'm sure my style will evolve as I learn more and experiment more, because one thing I want to focus on is backgrounds and environments :0

[cheriboms]

BTTF Year-End Tag Game!

Thank you to both @bttf-dork and @future-boi for tagging me in this ;w; also pika ur comments about my art WAHHHH ILYSM <33 oTL

This year:

How many times would you guess you watched the first back to the future movie?

Since I only hopped on this time train towards the final third of the year lol: fully all the way through, at least 4! Otherwise I've jumped around a lot while looking for clips and references and stuff. So if I stitch all those together, then we'll say approx 5ish :) The first movie is my favorite one!

Did you get any sweet bttf merch? If so, what?

Noooo, I don't really have any merch for things I like, actually... it gives me too much anxiety to publicly show my interests ;w;

How many cans of Pepsi Free did you chug this year?

None LOL I don't really drink soda to begin with, but if I do, I prefer white (lemon lime) soda anyway :P

What was a favorite bttf fanfic you read this year?

I'm going to be honest, I... don't read fanfic very much. 🫣 I usually end up creating my own stuff (art/writing) when I have free time vs looking at other people's, which ik I need to get better at T_T So I don't have a loooot to rec... that being said I MUST shout out "Emmett's first weather expirement." by @alex-a-fans !!! <3 It is my greatest treasure of the year <333

I also really liked "incredible" by @penny-anna, which I read before I officially entered le fandom ;w; lone pine doc and baby marty my beloveds !!!!!

Finally, like basically all of the Doctober prompts from @doctorbrown *O* Days 8, 22, and 30 are some of my favorites, but I really recommend them all oTL theyre SOOO GOOOOOD !!!!!

A favorite bttf fanart you saw this year? (please give us a link, not a screencap/repost!)

See: everything I reblogged. Jk but fr, everyone is so so talented it's really hard to choose :'0 Here's a bunch of some of my faves in no particular order!!

[x] from @hearts-for-winona | [x] from @maxintime | [x] from @future-boi | [x] from @bttf-dork | [x] from @synthsays and @daryfromthefuture | [x] from @therobotwig | [x] from @22194isbestboy | [x] from @mythical-bookworm | [x] from @mkayeatsspaghetii | [x] from @tobytost / @tobytost-star

Did you create any bttf fanart or fanfic? If you did, what one(s) are you proudest of?

Yes I did !!! It is actually the most fan content I've ever made for a fandom since I was in... maybe junior high? So like YUH. Tbh, it's very difficult for me to find what you would call 'pride' in my art so ehh >_>; that being said, I do think that I had a lot of good IDEAS for Doctober (esp days 19 and 28), but my execution wasnt really the best. I would have liked to draw days 17 and 24 (+ time travel day) a little more properly too; like, I'm not as disappointed at how they turned out, but I still wish they were better and/or I could have given them more time. The ones I most actually-tried-and-dont-mind are days 7, 9, and 21 + under the sea dance day. (So many links was probably cheating but tbf I've kinda bent the rules for the past few questions so... whatevs lol). I've ALSOOO still been working on my godforsaken essay, it is 40 pages rn but even tho it's not done, I'm INSANELY proud of it Q_Q

How many times were you late for school this year?

None! B) For one thing I'm graduated lol, but also I'm typically early gang. I'm that person who'd sit in the classroom by myself for like 5 minutes before everyone else would show up LMBO ^^;

Did you watch any other movies/tv shows with BTTF actors in them?

Yess I did!! A... lot actually :0 Most of them were by chance/pre bttf era, but still :P Here is my list as well as I could find, sorry it is soooo long, but what are ya gonna do:

Star Wars/The Mandalorian; The Addams Family (1991); The Tale of Desperaux (2008); Cyberchase; & Clue (1985) -- Christopher Lloyd, havent rewatched the latter 3 since I was a kid and literally went :0 to learn he apparently was in them. Also Kings Quest (2015) which isn't a movie/show but I think it counts uwu

Stuart Little (1999) -- Michael J. Fox, which also rocked my world to discover O_O like hearing it now I'm like "yeah thats him alright" but as a kid I would never have been able to tell you that was the same guy from that time travel movie, despite watching both way too much LMBO

Elf (2003) & Last Vegas (2013) -- Mary Steenburgen, nothing much to say except that she slayed ^_^

Love at the Christmas Table (2012) -- Lea Thompson, I didn't care for it and was shouting "LEA GET OUT OF THIS MOVIE, UR BETTER THAN THIS" like the whole time lol.

Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (2002) & Curious George (2006) -- apparently these have Donald Fullilove (Goldie Wilson) in them? Same w Jason Scott Lee (Whitey) in Lilo & Stitch (2002)??? And Star Wars/Kenobi show apparently had Flea (Needles)????? ...HUH.

I binged both the entirety of Law and Order: SVU as well as Seinfeld this year w my sister; apparently Mary Steenburgen, Lea Thompson, & Casey Siemaszko (3-D) are in at least one episode of the former, while Elsa Raven (Clocktower Lady) and Ricky Dean Logan (Data) are apparently in a random episode of Seinfeld each. So like, technically I saw them, tho I don't distinctly remember it :'D Also, I have been making my way through Little House on the Prairie recently, which has Matt Clark (Chester the Bartender) in a few episodes !

Finally finally finally, I watched I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore (2017), as well as the LOTR trilogy like. Twice? And they all have Elijah Wood of course >:3c

Was there a memorable moment you heard a Huey Lewis song this year?

None in the wild, no :P But I did end up being in the top 0.1% of listeners for Huey Lewis this year... so UHHHHH take that as u will LMBO

How many times did you fall down this year?

Hmmm idk?? Probably at least 1 I would think ???

Did you get to see BTTF: The Musical? What was your experience like!

Nooo, I didn't even know it existed until like October !!! It looks super fun but atm/last I checked it doesn't come to where I live so :( I should listen to the soundtrack soon!

How many times did your mom retell the story of how she and your father met?

At least three times, and then probably a few times I'm forgetting :P

If you could describe your year in a BTTF quote, which one would it be?

The year in general is definitely "Oh great, the atrocity channel!" LMBO (but when hasn't it been since like... 2020? 2016???). For me personally, I think it's either "I don't know if I could take that kind of rejection." or "Don't talk to anyone, don't touch anything, don't do anything, don't interact with anyone, and try not to look at anything." ^^;

⚡️LIGHTNING ROUND⚡️ Did you get to: go on any trains, skate on a skateboard, ride a horse, drive a Delorean, run in the rain, go to a dance, hang up a clock, play the guitar, pull an all-nighter, read science fiction, or drive thru Burger King this year?

Your future is whatever you make it! So what are you going to make of this coming year?

I think I'm going to try to post more of the things I make, like my art and especially my writing ;w; Most of the time I'm quite George-ish and am too scared to put any of my stuff out there, for fear that no one will like it, so... I need to get better about that. Also I'd LIKE to get a full-time job and my own place some time next year, but we will see !!!

Idrk who to tag :0 ik @brinkle-brackle @mythical-bookworm and @alex-a-fans have already been tagged but havent technically done it yet... maybe also @backintime @tobytost @ectojester @stillpreoccupiedwith1985 @itsthemorph @doctorbrown @knickynoo and @fourth-dimensional-thinker :) but no pressure to do it, just didnt catch if youd been tagged or not!

[otakween]

Digimon Tamers - Episode 8

Hmm this episode was just okay. There were some really nice animation moments, but it kinda felt like there was a lot of drawn out fluff. I still enjoyed myself, but I spaced out a couple times so I guess it didn't have me super gripped.

Notes:

Impmon was a fun little asshole in this episode. It's funny how he doesn't ever really get the reactions he wants. Renamon just kinda ignored him and Guilmon is too innocent to realize he's being trolled. Love a goofy villain who's bad at being evil. (I'm sure he'll get something darker to do eventually tho)

Terriermon has such an interesting personality. You would think such a cute little guy would be nice and affectionate but instead he's very blunt and says whatever's on his mind without much care for other's feelings. The way he inappropriately reacts to things yet seems to have a sort of wisdom...neurodivergent digi? (he does kinda look like autism creature lol)

The fact that Guilmon has a hobby of burying and digging up his food makes me think of enrichment for a caged zoo animal...at least he can technically leave

This episode did a really good job of making big digimon actually big! Adventure struggled with that at times (Greymon's size in the movie vs. the anime for example). I feel like showing off the hugeness of digimon and making them feel intimidating is all about the angles/perspectives they're "shot" at. Devidramon and Growmon felt properly intimidating in this.

Asanuma-sensei's JP voice is very monotone. She kinda sounds dead inside. She also barely reacted to a giant goth dragon flying inches from her head lol. I'd be screaming and peeing my pants and she was just like "what was that...?"

It's hard for me to not read "Grow" as grow...I get that it's from "growl," but that romanization is confusing out of context...

Takato being sucky at strategizing with his cards felt relatable to me lol. I'm bad at strategy games...

Seeing Guilmon digivolve for the first time was exciting and I look forward to seeing more Growmon in the next episode. I'm not super bothered that his design didn't change much. It's just annoying that digivolution is so inconsistent and sometimes they look completely different and other times its more gradual. Also, wait...when he was born Takato's digivice had to scan the drawing of Guilmon but this time it just kinda happened. Hope we get an explanation for all this eventually...

Speaking of unexplained mysteries, Culumon randomly shows up right as Guilmon is digivolving and his head lights up. The timing was suspicious, but I have no idea what the connection is yet.

I don't really get why Renamon and Terriermon couldn't have helped Guilmon with his fight. Renamon was like "that's Guilmon's prey..." which sure, makes sense with Ruki and Renamon's style of battling for power, but what was holding Jian and Terriermon back exactly?

[illadvisedselfships]

I come into your inbox bearing one free ticket 🎫 to gush over any f/o of choice :3 (or all of them if you prefer as well~)

I ACTUALLY HAVE L I S T S. ON MY NOTES APP XD LET ME JUST GO AND REFRESH MYSELF XD Haha. Gushing commences down below XD

Cruella De Vil (SPECIFCALLY 1996)- The only person real or fictional I would ever marry!

First of all I just love the way she talks! She uses words like 'squander' and 'sycophant' and aghh I love it. And this quote??- 'More good women have been lost to marriage then to war, famine, disease and disaster'. This is the line that first got me interested in her. Like... its extreme (Of course women can be married and still be powerful and amazing as hell) but there is truth to it and I love a mean old woman who's not afraid at all to say it.

Her HAIR. Its just perfect!! It looks so soft and fluffy and? the colour and the volume?? How??? It is iconic and I love drawing it, looking at it, thinking about playing with it... XD Its just great, alright?

How sorry she was about Anita's pregnancy 😅😅😅 Babe same. I've said it before and I'll say it again, if I got pregnant I would want people to respond the same way 😅😅😅 That's just personal thing, of course, I know most people would be happy to be with baby and wish to be congratulated but hey- that's why she's my f/o XD

I'm oddly obsessed with the sound her teeth make on her cigarette stick??? XDD Its just- I don't know. One of those things that's kinda satisfying for me ! 😂

Red. Lipstick.

She doesn't pull punches and I love writing for characters like that ^^ You get what you see with her.

Jim Bickerman- My main F/O!!

Alright first of all- I just feel like he's a perfect combination of all the kinds of characters I like! XD 1. Sleaze, 2. Crazy old man 3. Antagonist.

The f l a n n e l s. I-

Its just-

They look so good that's all I'm gonna say XD

A small detail I noticed that I like?? He has band aids on his fingers in Final Chapter. And I just wonder if, behind the scenes, the costume designer decided Jim was accident prone and constantly covered in band aids or if that was an Englund add XD Either way I just think its neat for a low budget campy creature feature sequel XD

Messy beard.

OKAY BUT?? HIS TALKING?? The line 'Come to Daddy you little bitch'?? That wry chuckle and 'Heh, whadaya mean?' all-too-innocent after someone asks him where the hell he's taking them?? Using 'clicks' as a measurement of distance? 💙 The fact that he calls himself a 'greedy old fart' as well as a 'cripple'? 😅

HE HAS REDEEMABLE QUALITIES. WHICH IS A NEW ONE FOR ME XD He respects his mother ('Mrs Bickerman wasnt a very good housekeeper' // 'Hey. That's no way to talk about the dead, son'), he is apparently against stealing (When a woman in Vs Anaconda suggests they take a boat he's very serious in telling her that doesn't belong to us), yes he was very creepy with that one girl in Final Chapter but he did not go to touch her at all which I think is pretty good compared to some other Englund characters 😅 as well as other F/O's of mine (Past or present), he was semi-nice to Max, etc.

His reaction to getting a gun pulled on him will never not be my favourite XD Like 'oh for gods sake, this again?'. And- you can see- he is almost laughing!

Also- I BET he could build a campfire. And that?? I don't know why but??? That is TOP TIER for me. I just-... oooffffffffffffffffffffff. Just 👌 Haha XD Where did my underwear go??-

Otis B Driftwood: I dunno, he's just... very comforting to me??? Ahhhhhhh.

I think its been very well established by now I love characters that don't hold back. They're brutally honest- usually in a mean, cruel way. Cruella De Vil is one, Slenderman is another, and Otis is one too. Maybe I just like that I always have that option?; not the killing or being mean obviously, but that just being grumpy instead of forcing a smile on is there as choice if I need it. I used to go into a 'Slenderman persona' when I had an oral presentation in school?? 😂😂😂 Which just means I was able to be still. I wasn't worried about what anyone else thought cuz who cares what they think, 'I hate them all anyway' (Which was of course not true, it was just apart of the 'persona' 😅). Otis is a riff off of that time in my life, I think XD 😅 When I'm having a bad day nowadays and I'm still forced to be out and about I might start thinking a bit snarky like him 😅😅😅 I know, I have some off defense mechanisms.

ANYWAY- he's absolutely rot incarnate and that is why you watch the movies XD He's a like a train wreck. You cant look away.

HIS SPEECHES!! Oh my lord. I love that that's how we were introduced to him- with him ranting to some kidnapped teenagers about a 'conformist world' and 'this culture of mechanical reproductions'. Ohhhhh boy XD

Somehow?? He seems to get... healthier?? With age??? What is this Benjamin Button nonsense?? XDD He has definitely made a deal with the devil.

He looks so cuddly in his overalls in the 3rd movie 😂😂😂 And he has no right!-

Just the fact that when one guy, Virgil, was worried if he went and broke Otis' sister out of prison as per Otis demand then she would kill him (Virgil), Otis was like *sigh* 'okay, I'll write you a note.'. Like a parent saying his kid doesn't have to do P.E today??? XDD

Professor Callahan (SPECIFICALLY THEMICHAEL RUPERT MUSICAL VERSION.):

He. SINGS. Whoever said musical theatre kids aren't hot have clearly not seen what they can turn into. Goddamn.

His voice in general ahhhhhhhhh. I wanted him to degrade me at first, admittedly XDD But now I want praise. And degradation actually. BOTH! And its not the actors real voice, either, I saw a video on Tik Tok of Rupert and he was talking completely different- then at the end abruptly PUT ON HIS CALLAHAN VOICE FOR A LAST LINE and ohhh BOY I was finished. XD

Oh my goodness, he yanked my dormant teacher/professor kink back to life by its ankles!-

That was my first kink and honestly I'm pleased to see it back 😂😂

The fact that they made the character so much worse in the musical??? Like in the movie (Victor Garber ver.) he's kind of likeable at the start, making a joke or two to release the tension in his classroom- but THIS version is like crush grandma so we can get laid IMMEDIATELY!! G o d. I love villains. And he is a classic case of no-holds-barred, black and white, Disney Villain-esque, walks-off-chuckling bastardry and I love it.

'Or is that unfair?- OH WAIT, I don't care'.

Ahhh!, his face after he sniffs Elle's resume!! Its so cute I love it XD

This outfit:

[freebooter4ever]

Are the lines on your drawings stylistic choices or are they measurement/guiding lines? Either way, they are cool, but just wondered. I dont understand drawing at all, might as well be a magic spell to me. I was looking at the pencil (?) sketch of Malkin with the cheesecutter hat on.

i, uh, definitely did not google 'cheesecutter hat' until after i saved out these images. :/ sorry about that. if you'd like the other one broken down, i can do that too lol. my reading comprehension when im tired is kinda lazy i just saw 'cheese' and imediately thought 'omelette'. SO here's the 1) initial sketch, 2) 'clean' sketch, and 3) final lines for the omelette boy drawing instead:

also i have had a cumulative of about 9 ish hrs of sleep total for the past two days so keep that in mind for if this explanation makes no sense, its not my fault. :( anyway! the way i draw definitely has changed over the years but currently im really trying to focus on the line i "see" rather than the one that is actually "there". i've been applying this to my writing for years (story vs happening truth) and you know it never occurred to me that i could do it in my drawings too till like...a few years ago. in general these lines seem to form the planes of the subject. if you google 'stanford bunny' you can find an easy example of a 3D surface turned into triangles. I do this too - see things in relative triangle proportions, except i've been doing it long before i knew how computers worked. i cant begin to tell you how long d*sney and cartooning's obsession with round building blocks of anatomical structure fucked with my brain until i finally decided i could cast that teaching aside completely.

ANYWAY sorry off subject again. so we have these sketchy under lines, and usually as im trying to find the proportions and form of the subject these lines end up being where the light/shadow hits. here i saved out the 1) 'flat colors', 2) the 'light', and 3) the 'shadow' parts on their own (i lightened the background for the 'shadow' so its easier to see):

the light is like four or five 'overlay' layers of pale yellow/orange. you can see how each of these layers follow one of those sketchy lines i did initially. and the same with the shadow but instead its a dark red color set to 'multiply' for each layer. and when you combine everything together you get:

some bullshit :). anyway you know that anniversary edition of beauty and the beast that featured the version previewed to nyc audiences in 1990 with the glen ke*ne sketchy keyframe animation of the beast's transformation? i watched that - must have been sometime after i graduated college - and i felt robbed that THAT version was never presented as a final piece. the 'unclean' drawings had so much more life and movement and intensity to them. tldr i like the messy lines, i hate 'inking' with a passion (HATE. IT.), and when i finally allowed myself to stop giving a fuck drawing became way more interesting. but my art is shit and i will never be glen k*ane so i dont really feel like the best advocate for this "style". alas. there was this one artist on tumblr who i fucking loved whose sketches were SPECTACULAR but the asshole racists in the m*c*ha*nz*o fandom bullied her off tumblr and ive never been able to find her art anywhere else since. she was also very negative about her 'unclean' sketches and it made me so sad. there was also this other artist whose sketches were awe inspiring but all she drew was p*rn and well...we all know what happened on tumblr in december 2018.

also i 100% stole the lighting scheme from The Bear which is currently one of the most gorgeous shows on television right now in my opinion

im really really sorry if this makes no sense, if im feeling motivated maybe i'll try again when my brain is fully functioning but with the actual 'cheesecutter hat' doodle ^_^

[tenelkadjowrites]

just wanted to say your reasoning behind writing almost exclusively for hwa is very relatable. i don't write, but i can't bring myself to read a fic about any other member. in the past i reviewed a few skz fics for a friend, and sometimes still do it for atz, but it's less for pleasure and more because i just wanna help people or someone asked for my opinion. i just don't see any other member or any other idol actually that way. hwa just hits different lol. i recently started a really good fic a lot of people recommended (it was a bts one), because it sounded very interesting, but i kept imagining seonghwa and it felt strange, but my brain just autoreplaced the member with hwa.

i remember reading we ransacked the city, i really enjoy that one, but ngl it was a bit hard to read smut with hongjoong, he's a pretty and hot guy and my other bias in atz, but i'm just not into him the way i'm into seonghwa, y'know? i'm barely into men anyways, so maybe that's why jkcjckvkcdnjddjshdjv.

i don't write but i do art and honestly whenever i start drawing i end up with seonghwa, it's a bit annoying sometimes, because i plan on drawing someone else, but the final product is SEONGHWA 😅 he's my muse as well. the chokehold he has on us, istg, what a guuuuuuy.

i started writing these fics just on the cusp of my bias switching from hongjoong to seonghwa which you can kinda see in the masterlist especially when hwa appears in best friend's code which i hadn't really planned nor intended but he was wiggling into my head.

we ransacked the city felt kinda like the last breath before converting fully to losing my mind to hwa. (sidenote: it also is probably the ateez fic i am least pleased with. it didn't turn out the way i wanted, i don't think i nailed the vibe i was looking for, and i experienced burnout in writing it so it also mentally marks a different turning point in writing these fics.)

i think a lot of ppl are surprised when i say that even though i got into ateez at debut, hwa didn't become my bias until around fireworks/kingdom era. i originally assumed that after a few months i would be burnt out on writing about him (due to my adhd) but instead, it has just steadily grown with each passing month with no sign of stopping. seeing him irl at the concert only stoked the flames.

i'm bisexual and my attraction to men really ebbs and flows. for awhile now, it has been at a pretty low point minus seonghwa who is always just able to drive me absolutely insane lmao. while every member of ateez is stunning (mingi hit me hard live as i think he did the entire crowd honestly) something about seonghwa just...impacts me differently.

so yeah, you absolutely understand what it is like to sit down and want to create a piece and then it ends up being seonghwa AGAIN. i decided not to fight it and write what i want and if that means every single fic i write is hwa then so be it. if that means sometimes i write another member but i include hwa, that's just how it'll be. i've made my peace with it. the way i feel writing someone else vs hwa is night and day and i believe it reflects as such in the work because i've gotten a lot of comments and remarks on how the work feels when it is about hwa.

thank you for sending in such a wonderful ask! <3

[crescentfool]

Hey crescent!!

I was so busy during new year that i only had the time to look at your art journey now, and I have to confess i actually saved a bit of yours on my phone uwu

I look forward to your art next year! (Pls feed my p3 demons), and if it isn’t too much to ask, is there any tips to getting gud at drawing? Id like to draw myself but im not sure where to start TwT

Anyways, happy belated new year! Hope to see you more this year! :3

hi bkza555! thank you so much for the kind words, and happy new year to you! i'm really happy that my p3 arts could keep you fed throughout 2022, ryomina and p3 brainrot is too strong! 💛💙

re: wanting to draw, i'd say go for it! 🙌💪 i think that it can be a fun skill to develop, and i'd recommend starting with things that YOU want to draw / see art of (because making yourself happy w/self-indulgent things is great!).

drawing advice under the read more, because this kinda got long oops 🥴

i would say that being resourceful and patient make for good qualities to have in your learning journey (among many other things)! art can be a rollercoaster with how we feel towards our own work ("WOAH I DREW THAT" vs "NOO WHY DO IT LOOK LIKE THAT").

so basically: striving to have a good mindset + drawing something that interests you will keep art as a sustainable practice!

if you're looking to get better at art- i highly recommend finding some kind of visual reference and trying to recreate them / understand them! i wouldn't be where i am without them 😭

i usually focus on photo references but i also look at drawn references + 3d models sometimes (mostly for likeness purposes).

for photo references, i like to look through pinterest + stock photo sites + google as a starting point! or you can set up a tripod with a camera and pose in front of it if searching the web doesn't exactly have what you want...

and if you want to draw persona characters, i think i've seen their 3d models for both miku miku dance (MMD) + xnalara which can be helpful if you want to see them from all sorts of angles (when official artwork doesn't suffice). hell i have to regularly look at manga panels of ryoji sometimes because i forget how to draw his hair every time LMFAO ITS SO DIFFICULT... 😭

honestly, trying to provide any concise art advice within an ask is difficult since the practice of breaking down references can be hard to convey over text. so i'll link to my art summary from 2021, which has a list of resources that you could check out!

it might be helpful to watch videos/streams of drawing too! or any tutorials that walk you through the basic shapes.

AND I SWEAR i am almost done talking BUT! the most important part is to have fun and focus on getting what you personally want of the art process. i hope that the list of resources can help if you want to find some guides on How To Do Things.... if u need any clarification feel free to leave a reply or come by the inbox again!

thank you again for your kind words! may 2023 be kind to you, and see you some other time! 👋

[tumblerislovetumblerislife]

well olly you know i'm obsessed with these so unforch you leave me no choice *cracks knuckles*

overall impression: very lovely and moody and spooky!! i kinda expected more blood-reds from devlin house but i should've known better, you wouldn't go for something that cliché. as always the shots you chose are SO good, love the combo of very dramatic shots with way more subtle ones!

gif 1: cindy my beloved!! oh my god i need to see edwin laughing like that. i need CHARLES to see edwin laughing like that! and niko is so precious, i love her and her green coat. speaking of! love the way she moves past the colour blocks and almost adds contrast to them until she reaches the green and basically blends in?? SUCH a cool effect. and i love the colours themselves, the green + goldish vibe is everything. the green in the shot is so dramatic that it's like a fun little puzzle to find the rest of the colours! and then you realise, oh wait, that's the majority of the picture. ceiling, chairs, cabinet, niko and cindy's hair. and cindy being represented by the colour palette, drawing her undeniably into the picture because she can actually be seen by everyone around her, the opposite of ghostly, is SO cool. and then the contrast of the bright (blueish?) white?? the way it contrasts so much with niko's coat that at first i couldn't see where you got it from, only when niko moves back it blends perfectly into the window in the background?? olly you are a GENIUS

gif 2: JENNY JENNY JENNY! this is a wild one because it's such a mundane part of the scene and yet i can't stop looking at the dramatic colouring. SHE!!! also the colours you chose feel very similar to the jenny gif from ep1, which, to be clear, i mean SO positively. i love that it ties them together! also something something jenny in her black clothes being surrounded by so much colour as symbolism to what crystal and niko bring to her life. brb crying

gif 3: HI SPOOKY SHOT OF ALL TIME 😍😍😍 one of those dramatic ones i NEVER want to look away from. loveeeeeee the red-orange reflections on them, the purple of crystal's coat, the blue of edwin's shirt. also getting into the symbolism again but the way most of the colours are drawn from crystal and the background (even the blue is present in her grey shirt/jacket/whatever that is) and it makes the boys feel even more ghostly. ESPECIALLY CHARLES?? WHO ONLY RECEIVES RED BACKLIGHTING?? AND SPENDS THE EP GRAPPLING WITH HIS OWN HELPLESSNESS?? THE ONLY ONE UNTOUCHED BY BLUE (AKA SYMBOLIC OF HEAVEN)?? I'M MAKING MYSELF SICK WITH THIS OH GOD

gif 4: SUCH a lovely little shot! the blues from edwin's outfit, the greenish-gray i'm guessing from the stripes (very nice and subtle, love the choice to emphasise them!), the white from his shirt. and then BAM, gold for the bracelet of homosexuality. but even then it's a very subtle colour choice for it, i can see some of the background is the same colour, even the darker parts of edwin's shirt cuffs. it's like you, via the palette, are helping him hide the bracelet and. i'm just in love

gif 5: monty!! the return of niko's green coat!! love the cool (ha!) colours, mixed in with the warmer browns. the blue is so subtle in monty's plaid shirt (and the port townsend sign if i'm not mistaken?) the brown/burgundy in monty's scarf and shirt and the trees in the background really draws it all together! plus the green in both niko's coat and the trees' leaves! also interesting to see here the colours you didn't choose for the palette, like the white of niko's hair and monty's books. not to get too deep into it but it feels like a sign that it's not niko monty's trying to connect to, even though edwin isn't even in the frame! and the darker brown feels sort of similar to edwin's coat but that might just be grasping at straws lmao

gif 6: OH DEVLIN HOUSE WE'RE REALLY IN IT NOW. obsessed with the way you subverted expectations with the devlin house being so blue and monotone, vs how we tend to read it as this dramatic high-stakes situation with so much blood spilled. again with the symbolism but it feels like it speaks so much more to the nature of the thirty-year (!!!) loop and how to the victims of it it's not dramatic but just the same cycle they can't get out of. over and over and over. and crystal and charles' expressions in this one OUGH. crystal trying immediately to find a way to help, to free these women, and charles is seeing his worst nightmare and trying desperately to suppress it. again, charles' helplessness represented by none of his colours making it onto the palette, even though his shirt is still pretty red. his hero colour is represented only as its worst in this house

gif 7: can i just say. obsessed with the parallels of the last two gifs, showing the pre- and post-devlin house feelings? at first i thought this one was from the end of ep3, after gif 8, but just from seeing charles and crystal's interaction it's obviously not OUGH. love the wide shot of them (and the cinematography lessons!! the focus falloff at the top. i am Looking), the greens of the trees and the brown of the leaves and the purple of crystal's coat (ooh and the sign!). some of the purple even seems to come across in charles' jacket! and the blue of the statue also being in edwin and charles' socks and crystal's shirt. it ties them all together in a way that contrasts so much with the effect devlin house has in breaking them apart. forever emotional about ittttt

gif 8: AND FINAL SHOT. devlin house is over (or is it??) the colours nearly blending in with the background and then contrasted against charles' coat. i'd say SYMBOLISM but i'm sure you're sick of hearing it by now lmaooo. the bright lights in the background are SO striking. and the green??? the way it reflects so dramatically against the orange specifically on edwin's face??? i know that's not death's light shining on them but it sure is interesting how often edwin is the one bathed in that colour of light.......... also this might be a reach but the way crystal's jacket/hoodie/whatever seems to be a similar shade of green-grey, tying her and edwin together as having found common ground in the devlin house, vs charles again being the least represented by the colour palette -- devlin house might be over but he still feels helpless. i'm sure nothing bad will come of that!

i'd say i can never be normal about this but you already know that. love this, love you, thank you forever for blessing us with your gorgeous gifs!!!

Dead Boy Detectives (2024) 1.03 — The Case of the Devlin House (insp)

[darkcircles4lyfe]

retrospective & predictions

Since we're on a hiatus week (between 320 and 321) I feel like waxing poetic about the depth and growth of bkdk for a bit. Especially because it seems like we’re right on the edge of their biggest development yet, I’m getting the urge to lay all my perspectives and insights I’ve picked up from others out on the table. This is ultimately only my subjective interpretation of subtextual material in canon, though. If you’ve never quite understood what people see in their dynamic and you’re actually open to hearing me out, maybe from this you can at least see where we’re coming from. And if you don’t like my takes after all, well, we’ll see who’s right in the coming chapters, won’t we? What I have to say can be taken platonically or romantically; I appreciate both. 

putting it under the cut, since it’ll be long:

At the risk of projecting, I want to start by examining a couple things based partly on personal experience.

From many different directions, I often hear people expressing that Deku’s persistent attachment and admiration for Bakugou is baffling at best. Despite the bullying, despite Bakugou’s loud, rude, and uncompromising personality, he still puts effort into their relationship and frequently describes him as amazing. It seems like Deku himself is aware of this as he’s said things along the lines of how he’s difficult, BUT... etc. Although I don’t think it’s exactly that Deku finds Bakugou’s personality hard to be around, but that he’s deliberately expressing patience for Bakugou’s emotional turmoil. 

I have to say I know what this sort of patience is like, as I went through it with someone I love. I only chose to put up with their behavior because I decided the possibility of what our relationship could be was worth it. I wasn’t blind or submissive to how they treated me, and I wasn’t coerced. I simply expressed myself and established my boundaries while still allowing them the opportunity to join me in my world once they got over their own hangups. And guess what? It worked out in the end. That doesn’t mean there aren’t circumstances where it’s better to cut ties, but I want to stress that true reconciliation is possible sometimes. I used to worry that other people around me thought I was delusional for seeking it, but what really helped was my therapist reminding me that I’m smart and strong. So I think Deku deserves to feel the same. In a way this is his whole mission in life, his approach to being a hero as well as his personal relationships.

Let me also be clear though that I don’t mean Deku is only tolerating Bakugou’s personality, his mannerisms, the parts of him that will likely never change. I’m drawing a line between those things and his emotional state (they so rarely align anyway, but I’ll get to that later). In fact, I think Bakugou’s general attitude is part of what Deku admires. This is gonna be hard to explain without inserting personal experience too, sorry. As a writer myself I’ve noticed I’m drawn to writing characters that are brazen and bold and don't mind telling people off. Really it’s because I operate in the world in the polar opposite way. I try not to draw attention to myself, I’m quiet, and I’m a people-pleaser. People who project confidence, especially in an impolite sort of way, fascinate me. It’s good to take cultural context into account, too: I've heard people who’d know better than me that part of the reason Bakugou is the most popular character in the Japanese fandom is likely because he contradicts a lot of their social norms. His disregard is refreshing and cathartic. I can speculate that Deku has a similar point of view based on what he thinks but does not admit about Bakugou being his image of victory and how this sometimes makes him mimic Bakugou’s speech and mannerisms: 

There’s also the bit in this fight where Deku realizes he's the only one able to receive Bakugou’s emotions. This is because he’s the most intimately familiar with him and his situation, but I think there’s another layer. Deku, as we know, has a self-sacrificing tendency, and in the current chapters we’re seeing the worst side of that. But let’s also not forget that to an extent, it can be a positive trait: resilience. When it comes to Bakugou, he has an almost comical ability to dodge the potential fallout of his outbursts. The example we all jump to (and fight about..) is how in ch1, apart from the initial shock of Bakugou suggesting he jump off the roof, the most he reacts is to criticize him for saying such a ridiculous thing. However, I think their interaction post- sludge villain is a lot more interesting:

Note two things: 1, in his head, Deku is practically making fun of how Bakugou’s acting as he stomps away without waiting for a reply. It doesn’t faze him. 2, Deku thinks, optimistically, that he can now focus on a different career choice. This is astonishing really. Up to this point, none of Bakugou’s attempts to put him down have worked; he just kept pursuing his dream. The only reason Deku concedes in this moment it because for the first time, he has been shown that he really couldn't do anything in a fight against a villain. All Might told him he couldn't be a hero (although he’s literally about to take that back in the next few pages lol) and the other heroes at the scene gave him a lecture about it too. It was those experiences, and not Bakugou’s words, that truly affected him. And when All Might tells Deku he can be a hero after all, it’s not thinking of Bakugou’s bullying that makes him sob and fall to his knees, it’s the memory of his own mom never telling him those words he so desperately needed to hear. Having spent most of their lives together, Deku must have been aware all this time that Baukgou was influenced by larger societal forces rather than a core judgement, so he didn’t take it personally. He separated the person from the action, and because he’s resilient and patient, he is thus equipped to handle Bakugou’s emotions. It’s a testament to his maturity and emotional intelligence, really. 

But I can almost hear some of you saying, “that doesn’t mean Deku should have to be the bigger person here!” Correct! Just because Deku is perfectly alright bearing all of that, doesn’t mean atonement-era Bakugou sees it this way. We can track his awareness of Deku’s care and selflessness as follows-

The bridge scene, when they’re little kids: Bakugou conflates Deku’s heroism with pity, and subsequently thinks Deku is looking down on him because Bakugou’s own insecurity makes him defensive.

The Sludge Villain, and also Deku vs. Kacchan Part 1: Bakugou witnesses first-hand how easily Deku jumps to risk his own life, but still thinks he’s being looked down on. 

The Sports Festival: Bakugou fights Uraraka and recognizes her endurance strategy and refusal to give up as very Deku-like. He’s half right. He thinks Deku advised her in the fight, when in reality she just mimicked Deku because she admired him. I want to draw attention to his very sober comment about her not being frail. It’s a great endearment of Uraraka’s character and Bakugou’s respect for her when others didn’t take “fighting a girl” seriously, but it also reflects on his opinion of Deku. Deku isn’t weak either. He never was.

Deku vs. Kacchan Part 2: Deku finally corrects him about the whole looking-down-on-him thing, and Bakugou is informed that Deku’s selflessness is in fact the reason All Might chose him. Since Bakugou had been in search of what he himself was “doing wrong” for All Might to favor Deku over him, he now has to reconcile the fact that selflessness is a heroic trait, and moreover something he lacks. This is also possibly the first time Bakugou is able to see his past actions toward Deku as bullying since he previously thought it was more mutual. Additionally, Bakugou can now link Deku’s selfless behavior to what he perceived as pity/contempt, and realize that Deku has been giving him A LOT of grace. Maybe too much. Maybe more than Bakugou deserves, and definitely more than Deku should have to. Holy heck- now Bakugou has to figure out how to live up to all the faith that’s been placed in him. 

Subtextually, we can see Bakugou’s feelings about atonement reflected in the Todoroki family:

1, Shouto is another example of Deku growing a friendship using his selflessness (since their fight in the sports festival) and their relationship is being acknowledged here where it hasn’t been in Bakugou’s situation. Perhaps Bakugou is wishing it could be so simple for him, to be able to thank him for being his friend like that. Deku saying the pleasure is all his also probably calls to mind how a mere apology from Bakugou would probably be dismissed because that’s just the kind of accommodating person Deku is. Bakugou has to operate more quietly in order to actually make up for their past. I personally don’t interpret this scene as Bakugou being jealous of Deku and Shouto’s friendship, exactly, just the lack of emotional baggage. Side note, Deku and Fuyumi are kinda similar in their desire to repair relationships. I like that she’s the one to give him some credit. 

2, With the common terminology, this can be interpreted as Bakugou receiving a model for atonement, one that is about action, and nothing to do with receiving favor or forgiveness. It’s a sense of duty. 

Many of the above sentiments are repeated in the flashback conversation between All Might and Bakugou right before Bakugou’s sacrifice. 

Bakugou acknowledges his bullying and that it happened because of his own insecurities, but aside from that, it’s interesting he neither confirms nor denies All Might’s suggestion that he’s trying to atone, or that Deku doesn’t see it that way. All Might is a bit of an unreliable mentor sometimes, but I don’t think he’s misreading here. Rather, Bakugou is displaying his tendency to hold back when talking about things that would make him really emotional. Besides, admitting to what he’s doing kind of defeats the purpose. He isn’t seeking acknowledgement. All Might has gotten to the crux of the issue here when pointing out that Deku doesn’t recognize the atonement, likely because Deku doesn't think Bakugou even needs to atone. Am I reading into it too much to say Bakugou looks wistful at this? It’s kinda frustrating sometimes trying to interpret Bakugou’s actions because he’s so paradoxical. Loud and in your face, but also extremely reserved. Sometimes I feel like I’m grasping at thin air, but hey, being hard to figure out is part of his intrigue as a character. The simplest way to look at him is to assume that unless he’s really showing vulnerability, he’s probably deflecting and hiding something.

Speaking of Bakugou’s tendency to to hold back emotional stuff, there’s his apparent lack of issue with Deku calling him Kacchan. Maybe to begin with, in his warped perception of things where he thought they hated each other, Bakugou saw it as Deku’s way of getting back at him for calling him “useless,” and didn't dare give any indication that it actually bothered him. However... consider how betrayed Bakugou has appeared when he was noticeably thinking Deku was looking down on him- the bridge scene, and the beginning of their first year at UA when he thought Deku was hiding a quirk all along. He looks shocked and hurt. That kind of emotion couldn’t be invoked by someone Bakugou didn’t actually care about his relationship with. “Kacchan” comes from a long time ago, before their relationship was strained, so it’s connotations are pure. Maybe somewhere deep down, Bakugou has always been hoping that Deku’s continued use of the nickname was not simply a matter of habit or teasing, but a vestige of friendship they’re both clinging to, and Bakugou himself was too afraid to admit to himself that he felt this way about it, so he mostly ignored it. (These are not original thoughts I am having here lol, this is a common interpretation. I’m just laying everything out like I said.) 

And now we turn to the current situation. Personally, I’ve been looking frantically back and forth between them wondering who’s going to break down first (Deku vs. Kacchan Part 3, this time it’s just a fight to get the other person to cry? ha.) Both have looked like they’re approaching a breaking point for some time. Also, I’ve addressed this before, but I think it’s significant that Bakugou is no longer wearing his mask with his hero costume, in contrast to Deku recently donning his own. It feels symbolic of Bakugou about to be upfront about how he feels.

The question is, what is it going to take to get Deku to accept help? If you ask me, Deku has dug himself so deeply into the I’m-doing-this-for-everyone-else’s-safety-and-smiles hole, no common sense argument can possibly reach him. By the end of 320, Deku’s mask is off, and we can see how desperate he truly is. But he has not cried, yet. I predict we’re going to see a bit more of his defiance, this time on full display on his face as the remaining class members and his other friends take their turns. But then I think Bakugou has to be the one to break down so Deku can witness his actions having the opposite effect he intended. People have been pointing out that Deku is currently ignoring Bakugou, and oof, that’s gotta be intentional. Regardless of what Bakugou says, it’s going to be wrapped up not only in his understanding of Deku’s self-sacrifice, but also the betrayal Bakugou feels at being ignored/left behind that ironically echoes his previous perception of being looked down on, as well as a need to express how much he cares about Deku before it’s too late. He must show that the two of them are inseparable because they both act to save each other without thinking, and both feel like losing the other would be like dying themselves. All Might may have been right when he told them they could learn from each other after Deku vs. Kacchan Part 2, but he didn’t fully realize that idea by making sure they stuck by each other for support and balance. 

I can’t wait to see what it’ll be like when they do finally get to that point, totally in synch and in tune with each other. They’ll be a powerful force no one is quite prepared for. Who knows when that will be, or even which chapter will be their big showdown, but I know the day is coming.

To speculate even further, I think the 2nd user is going to be really important really soon. And no I don’t mean to suggest that the 2nd user is Bakugou. But I do think their resemblance is key. Okay this is gonna be convoluted...

See how 2nd is the only one still standing? I think that’s symbolic of him withholding his quirk. Deku may not even know what it is at this point, let alone have unlocked it. Given that 2nd approves of Deku’s strategy at this point, it seems odd for him to withhold his quirk based on lack of faith. I think if his quirk was something that would help Deku in combat, he would have shown it to him already like the others did. So what if those gauntlets of his are support items that are meant to make up for his lack of a combat-oriented quirk, rather than to augment it? Mind you, I still have no idea what his mysterious power might be, but I’m dead set on it not being explosion-y. Regardless, I think 2nd looking like Bakugou is more about aiding some grand visual parallel, so! You know how 2nd and 3rd were probably intending to do away with Yoichi but 2nd changed his mind as soon as they made eye contact? This is really a long shot, but I wonder if 2nd’s quirk has something to do with that exchange. Maybe it’s something psychological, or some 6th sense about people he meets. So... in that way 2nd’s quirk could play a role in bkdk reaching a deeper understanding? Idk! But it could be significant at least that 2nd left Yoichi’s question about why he reached out to him unanswered. 

One more thing- while I was gathering screenshots I found this. I think “you’re the last one I’m telling” might be foreshadowing for Bakugou revealing his hero name to Deku and it being a Big Deal:

As for other lingering threads in the overall plot right now, such as the UA traitor, Stain, whatever Tsuyu is apparently about to do, All Might’s car maybe in the background of the last page of 320... man I have no idea. All I know is there’s literally 320 chapters’ worth of build-up to this confrontation that can’t be interrupted. 

See you next week <3

[serpenteve]

So I ship Darklina, but I actually...don't hate Mal? Sure, he was a dick sometimes (so is the Darkling, in different ways), but he was also like 17 or 18 right? And, to me, he'd changed by Ruin and Rising. He went through a lot of character growth. He's not my favorite character by any means. He's probably one of my least favorite, simply because of how boring he is, and I think him and Alina would have been better off as friends or siblings for a platonic familial type thing. But he's also a teenager. That doesn't give him an excuse for being a dick but I feel like from what I've seen from Darklina stans (and what I myself have done in the past) is we hold him to such a high standard but we excuse everything the Darkling does. Yes, he's the villain, but he's also a love interest, which means he does need to be somewhat held accountable. I love the Darkling, he's my boy, and he makes Mal look like a piece of cardboard in comparison, but if we're able to love a centuries old villain and forgive his mistakes, shouldn't Mal at least get some grace? Heroes are allowed to mess up, especially teenage ones. Hell, when I was 17 I was a wreck. It just feels weird to write off everything a centuries old man does but tear apart everything a teenager does, you know?

But I also understand the Mal hate and I don't expect people to love him (I don't even love him lmao). I just wanted to see if some Darklinas are more open towards Mal because I understand most Darklinas hate his guts (understandably so).

Sorry for the long ask. What are your thoughts on Mal?

I don't think all Darklinas hate Mal but a lot of people who hated a number of things in the books happen to be Darklinas. If you hate the book romance, then you're more likely to criticize other aspects of the storytelling like the plot and writing choices.

I definitely think people's perception of Mal hinges on whether they feel like he redeemed himself in Ruin & Rising and/or whether or not they were exposed to the fandom discourse and reactions surrounding the characters. For example, if you read the Grisha trilogy after seeing people endlessly simp for the Darkling and talk about Mal like he's the Worst Character Ever™️, then probably you will think book!Mal really isn't that bad and people excuse the Darkling's actions despite him like.........destroying an entire town for funsies and terrorizing Alina across the country 😂

The whole Mal vs Darkling debate originally arose out of audience expectations. Mal was presented as a heroic love interest while the Darkling was basically a false romantic lead turned villain who Alina kinda still had the hots for but had to heroically resist lest she become seduced to the dark side. The Darkling wants to control and exploit Alina and will stop at nothing to do so. Therefore, we expect Mal to embody the opposite of this: support Alina in doing what she wants and not treat her like a trophy he's entitled to. Instead, Bardugo---perhaps unintentionally---set the opposite in motion.

I actually really don't mind Mal in Shadow & Bone. Yeah, he was kind of an ass to Alina at parts, but he apologized and helped her get the stag and most of his faults can be overlooked as dumb teenage boy things. The problem arose in Siege & Storm when Mal grew entitled, possessive and emasculated because Alina had this power he did not and Alina had this great destiny that didn't revolve around him. Regardless of what Bardugo intended with this lover's quarrel, many readers interpreted this as Mal wanting Alina to be weak and dependent on him. And now, when readers look back at his more annoying traits in Shadow & Bone that initially didn't bother us that much, it holds more sinister implications. It wasn't that Mal and Alina were drifting apart, it was that Mal doesn't care about Alina until someone else cares about her and then he realizes "oh shit! my biggest fangirl that i took for granted has been taken away and has a life of her own??? unacceptable!!11". This combined with the Grisha being coded as any marginalized group and Mal's bigotry towards Alina and then her ending where she lost her powers so the author could pair her with Mal also left some.................IMPLICATIONS 👀

And listen, it would be one thing if I was the *only* reader who was whining about how Mal's character drives me up the wall......but like literally 3/4 of the fandom hated his ass because Bardugo accidentally made him toxic in a very *familiar* way that the Darkling's toxicity is not---at least for that part of the fandom. And this clash between reader expectations and what was actually on the page is what gave rise to a lot of Mal hate. You mentioned that readers hold Mal to a higher standard than the Darkling and that's true. But it's also because Mal is supposed to be a hero, not a villain. The expectations we had for the Darkling were literally on the floor after he decided to randomly massacre Novokribrisk. Whereas Mal being toxic in exactly the same way a chauvinistic garbage IRL man would be toxic was way too much for some readers and we just ended up shipping Alina with the Darkling out of pure spite. Especially when said villain is saying things like "I've seen what you truly are and I've never turned away? Can he stay the same?" or "He’s otkazat’sya. He can never hope to understand your power, and if he did, he’d only come to fear you."

ALSO, I'm a big believer that the reason the Darklina shippers grew in number is directly because the Darkling and Alina are never in a romantic relationship. The failed and wasted potential was indeed a huge draw, but the fact that we never got to see what their canon relationship would be like allowed us to fantasize about an ideal situation in which the Darkling comes to the error of his ways and learns to treat Alina as an equal. The quotes I mentioned above are up for interpretation. He says he will never turn away and that he would be able to understand Alina's power...........but he also proved that he isn't above using her as a weapon without regard for what she wants. Because we never get to see the Darkling and Alina in a real romantic relationship, we can now choose to interpret that line seriously in fanworks, regardless of whatever the hell Bardugo intended with it.

[luxites]

do you have advice for finding manufacturers for charms n zines please

hi! honestly I just kinda look around twitter and various searches to see what people bring up! (etc. searching [manu name] and setting the twitter search to only people I follow, since a lot of them make merch)

I want to know if their experiences were good or bad, or if there's a kind of manu I should avoid. The How To Be A Con Artist tumblr is also good at having charm reviews and info on other merch.

I'm putting everything else under a read more just so it doesn't get too long on someone's dash!

I went with Vograce for my first charm experience tho cuz

EDIT 2/3/2022: I tried out another manu and actually liked them a lot better than Vograce (especially for my art style), so I'm using them from this point forward. I could do a post comparing the two manus I tried if people are interested and my reasons why?

but whoops all of the info below this cut are kinda out of date! but the color advice still stands!

it was a manu name I already knew about since I followed artists who used it

I had a couple of friends who were able to vouch for their quality and use them regularly

the good experiences I found outnumbered the bad

They appealed to me cuz of the discounts for quantity

I liked how they offered the clasps/straps as well (So, I didn't have to worry about finding and ordering those accessories and attaching them myself.)

NOTE THO: it's based in China, so shipping is kinda pricey depending on how much you get, and it'll take a while for them to get to you. Here's the notes I kept for my first test run

Vograce has a lot of options (to make things easier too, here's the tumblr post of a pic I took of the first charms I made) I really liked how they came out, just keep CMYK in mind and how printing will always be kinda darker (or lead to some colors being more saturated)

The charm looks a lil off shape wise cuz oops I took this pic an angle- but you can see how much darker his hair and clothes came out on the charm, so I colored the chibi with that in mind. It's good to test printing at home on just regular printer paper in color if it's possible. I printed and cut them out on the sizes I was thinking about ordering for them, and it really helped me decide.

(Anyway yes I love Vograce so far.... I just need to finish drawing more chibis to do a bigger order and hopefully set up a store/find audience....)

I know that ZapCreatives and Inkit Labs are other popular options for people. I've been in zines that have used either Zap or Vograce (or both depending on the kind of charm they want!). There's also people who go on Alibaba to find manufacturers, and while I know at least two manufacturers people use there, the process seems kinda intimidating and confusing to me. I also can't vouch for the quality of those manufacturers or know anyone personally who used them and liked it- so it'd be pretty weird for me to name them! (Vograce used to be only on Alibaba, but I think them having their own website now makes everything easier)

FOR ZINES-

I've only had experience as a participant and not a moderator, but I've been in zines that have used Lulu, Mixam, or PrintNinja. I know there's a few others, but their names slip my mind rn. I really like PrintNinja's quality btw, but they require a minimum of 250 so that's a lot..... It's also very expensive, so I really only see them used for collaborative zines with multiple artists/writers VS an individual

Lulu is....... lol it's fine. I use it to buy hardcover copies of my senior thesis. It's alright, but I'd like to try other places since Lulu didn't have a lot of paper options from what I remember. I usually don't know the kind of zine manufacturers the zines I've been have specifically used aside from a few (it's not something really brought up in the servers). I think their perfect bound and saddle-stitched bound books are good! I'm just not really a fan of how their hardcover feels.

I also know people that had a really bad experience through Mixam and had to switch to another manufacturer, even though I've seen others have good experiences with them. So it all depends...... I do need to look more into zine printing eventually....

I'm sorry I couldn't provide more info for the zine part of your question! but thank u for asking me and I hope that I at least said a few helpful things for you!

[composeregg]

@lunar-fey tagged:

#ohhhh#okay so for context im only familiar with p4 and somewhat p5 myself (technically only got to futaba but have read spoilers for events after)#but iirc its something of a Plot Point that yu/p4 protag has kind of a blank slate personality.#so even beyond the like rank bonus mechanic it would be REALLY cool to see various influences on him#bc they might be a bit more. idk obvious than in joker who already has a relatively strong personality#id see joker as more having specific aspects exaggerated. whereas w yu theres not much TO exaggerate#so one day he just walks up like. ya. im really into uhhh like magic tricks now. or something.#im working at half brain rn and not really able to come up with traits that would match a specific persona or arcana but yeah#hope that makes sense fhsjhdnd#anyway would LOVE to hear your plurality related thoughts :3

YOU UNDERSTAND ME

Like, I don't know much abt all the intricacies of Yu, but he is SUCH a blank slate of a person! When he takes on persona, it would be more like a spark of intensity where there usually is none!!! With Joker, it's about like. Like you said, exaggeration!

It's like, let's look at the Justice as an arcana as a whole.

The two Justice social links here are Nanako and Akechi. Strong morals of right and wrong (and before anyone points stuff out abt our fave here, Akechi does have strong moral beliefs, he just also BREAKS THEM KNOWINGLY). But beyond that, there's a bit of childishness at play, too. Nanako, obvs, is a child. Akechi has this sense of heroism, despite estranging himself from being it. His weapon is basically a lightsaber, his gun is a laser gun!

So for Joker, I could see it drawing out more of that sense of right vs wrong (very thematic all around!) but also like! More of an interest in shows like featherman, or things like that. For Yu, it could show similarly, but it isn't the same, because he's so BLANK that suddenly he is showing those thought patterns and interest where there was none before!

But lets look at Magician in contrast

Magician is about initiative, learning the tools you need to carry out your goals. Change and finding the ideal self! From what I understand it is generally associated with crafts as well. Which, for Joker, being a bit more energetic and focused on making thieves tools isn't too unusual, but it picks up. Meanwhile, for Yu.... I don't actually know what he does to prep for missions, but I'm sure there's making things somewhere in there? And being a bit more experimental! But all the persona seem to have more of an inhuman vibe to them, or like.... You have Pixie, you have Jack Frost, Sandman, Nekomata. All very playful!

I'd say Fool is probably closest to the "base" personality, infinite potential, start of the journey. With their original personas being their hearts, in a way. The most freedom.

So Yu just shows up sometimes and is like "I learned how to cook this complicated meal last night, want some?" or "I am now an expert on featherman lore" which is kinda odd and random! Joker doing this is like "yep, that's curry" or "ah, you've been spending time with futaba or akechi, I see" (not necessarily wrong) so it seems less out of place even if it's the same effect because there's more base to work with

and,,,,, plurality related thoughts coming soon to a new post near u and it will b like all p5 because. well. u will see

The personas you have equipped should impact the dialogue choices you have

(Note: I have experience with p5, and somewhat p4, none of the others)

But I just think it would be neat if personas actually.... had an impact on social links, on the protagonist's personality. The name of the series is Persona, and while they are clearly a centrally important part of the games, it feels like there's a divide that keeps them relegated mostly to gameplay mechanic

They are described as facets of the self, as aspects of personality given form. So if the protagonist has certain persona, it would make sense for them to alter the dialogue options

Mostly I see this being feasible with social links. The persona of the matching arcana unlocks a bonus dialogue option that can give the high +++ points for ranking those up.

It shows that aspect of the self resonating with the person you're talking with more, by providing an answer you wouldn't otherwise give, because that's not a part of you at the time.

It would add DEPTH!!

[izzynero]

ART ASKS!!!!! 4, 5, 7, 10, 11, 14, 21, 27, 29

Hello KT, beloved pal!!

4. Fave character/subject that's a bitch to draw

Don't have anyone in particular in mind rn but the hardest face type to draw when I do portraits is always people with softer rounder faces or very subtle or like idk indistinct(?, basically shit like button noses or something) features. Resemblance is 1000xs harder when you dont have defined lines, angles, or very distinct features to rely on to "trick" the eye into seeing resemblance. Also hate doing landscapes despite how much I like looking at them, I'm god awful at stuff like that, especially when it's a background which why your art absolutely rules to me lol

5. Estimate how much of your art you post online vs. keep to yourself

I actually post most of my finished pieces, like probably 90% lol plus I don't draw as much as i used to so it's like why not post this? The only ones I keep to myself are commissions that the commissioner hasn't given me the ok to post, work I think turned out bad/badly proportioned, or just things I don't find particularly interesting enough to look at

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

Oh absolutely print makers or like wood work! Especially people that work on wood block prints. I find that absolutely awesome, I've been interested in it cause of my love and the influence from Ukiyo-e but I dont dare try cause I'm god awful with sharp objects hahaha

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

Hehehe I dont really draw much clothes when I've done work outside of my usual busts or figure studies but I really love drawing things like sweaters or leather jackets but ESPECIALLY jewelry. Something about making shit look like metal and sparkly gems is sooo satisfying to me.

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what?

Oh absolutely. When I'm drawing a particular character or person I try to find music I think matches that person/character's personality or vibe and it's a huge help and motivator. If not I just go to my kind of like old reliable playlists like this one or this one

14. Any favorite motifs?

Hmmmm I wouldn't say theres like a figurative motif in my work per say but I like to think the thing that i hope shows in terms of a thematic motif in my work is my love of the human body/face and how humanizing and bonding it is that we all have a special look to us, and that look regardless of its variety or social conceptions, is absolutely worthy of love and poeticism. It is hard to be a person, and it's hard to have a physical body sometimes but isnt it wild that we exist in them anyway, and we survive in them anyway? Why not make every face I draw a love letter of sorts you know? Lol Like I hope it is apparent that I romanticize the shit out of the human face and body and thats what I hope people enjoy about my work.

21. Art styles nothing like your own but like anyway

There's tons but I love when people have very like idk grungey, grimy, imperfect sense of linework. They see the beauty in like not trying to make shit so crisp and perfect and use it to lends such a phenomenal sense of character and life to their work (like Q Hayashida's Dorohedoro). I also looove people who play with the textures of their medium instead of keeping things smooth or flat.

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what do you draw to warm up?

Uuuhhh no, which is terrible LMAO or maybe I KINDA do? Like when I'm going to do a portrait I'll occasionally sort through references I have and draw quick lil sketches of OTHER people and it gets me in the mood to work on the main portrait i wanted to. But like legitimate warm up exercises? Nope.

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically?

I don't think there is one?? Like I do genuinely find something to inspire me out of anything from all kinds of media in art that I see, listen to, or watch even if I loved it or its stuff I may not particularly like all that much as a whole piece/one that doesn't speak to me. I try to carry something of the things I've seen in art in some way. I usually end up finding one thing I do like about it, say like, the technique or texture used and figure out how that could be useful in my own work. Or I end up finding something I can connect with a little bit to make me go "oh ok I see why you did that" and think about how I would've tried to express something similar. Of course there are form of art and media that are like morally gross or heinous meant to offend or hurt vulnerable people that I DO think can get tossed into wood chipper along with its creator but like why give that shit any acknowledgement? But in terms of the thing I DO love I absolutely find something to inspire and takeaway with me in some format.

Thanks KT!!! 🥰🥰

[cross-d-a]

Pass the happy!💖 When you get this, reply with 5 things that make you happy and send this to the last 10 people in your notifications!

(I have decided that Discord notifs count because I love you dearly and wanna hear what makes you happy)

HELLO!!!! I love you and I kinda really needed this and I think you know that so thank you!!!!! I love and appreciate you SO MUCH!!

Also I've literally been thinking about this post for two hours and so I'm not gonna stick to just five- I'm gonna list MORE than that because I wanna remind myself that there are many wonderful things in the world to be happy about and also PICS!! I'm adding PICS bc I CAN!!!!!!!!!

under the cut bc it gets LONG! :)

1) YOU make me happy, Sierra!!!!!!! Also @s1utspeare and @vishcount and of course my bff @haru-tl !!! You guys are so fucking incredible and talented and AMAZING!!!! I love you all SO MUCH!!! You always make my day!!! And all the dmbj peeps!!! I am so lucky to know so many wonderful people!!!!

2) as long as we're on the subject of people- I absolutely can't leave out my coworkers!!! Literally some of the best people I've ever met in my life. I have so much fun with them. I can always count on them making me laugh.

Like today, we were talking about this reptile house a few towns away and my manager was telling us about their cool anaconda exhibit where you can crawl under the glass tank and watch them eat and she mentioned their teeth being scary. So I googled Anaconda Teeth and went WOAH THEY'RE COOL and our Resident Snake Expert came over and went actually that pic is from the movie Anaconda. And then he helped me find Real Pics and the teeth were even COOLER. I left the Google search up on the work computer and a couple hours when I was on lunch I heard Mike exclaim: "I had NO idea that ANACONDAS had TEETH!!!!!!" Which?? MIKE?? WHAT??? Hahaha everyone burst into laughter :)

3) my cat BOOTS makes me happy!! He's always asking for belly scritches and he drools when he's happy. Here's a pic bc I adore him:

4) my new baby boy So Mun from The Uncanny Counter makes me VERY happy!!!!! He's just- the Sweetest Boy to have ever Baby'd!!! I adore his little crinkly-eyed smile and curly hair!!! He's just so GOOD it makes me cry!! Also!! Disabled rep!!!!! LOVE HIM!!!!! Look at his lil' FACE:

and bc he is Unfortunately Very Hot in his mourning outfit:

adding this too bc LOOK AT THAT ADORABLE SMILE I wanna SCREAM

5) my Pangzi necklace makes me happy!!! I have an Iron Triangle matching set, but the Pangzi one I first put on bc of Brigid's Pangzi chapter for Swiftly Tilting and then I kinda just- never took it off haha. It's just so pretty and makes me feel like I've got a bit of Pangzi with me at all times. I love that man SO much and if I can be even a fraction of how wonderful he is, then I can die happy

6) the smell of the sea makes me happy!!! It makes me feel refreshed and relaxed! I live by Puget Sound and on very lucky days I can smell it at my house! Tonight was a lucky night! I came home and it smelled like the seashore, so I kept my window open as I folded laundry :)

7) my new collection of Kpop CDs makes me happy!! It's entirely bc of Vish's influence and I LOVE her for it!!! The packaging is just so pretty and I always love being able to hold things that give me Good Feelings in my hands :)

8) since we're on the subject of COLLECTIONS, I love to collect things!! And one collection of things that makes me happy are my books!! I have- too many. Working in a bookstore makes it too easy to buy them! But seeing the bright spines on my shelves gives me delight. I particularly really like my queer manga collection!! I've got four whole shelves of it! :) I'd offer a pic but I'm too tired to go upstairs, haha but I love the art and the representation 🌈

9) I ALSO really love all the figures I collect! Seeing characters that I love on a daily basis makes me happy. I usually decorate my bookshelves with them. One set that makes me particularly happy are my Pingxie ones. They look like they're getting married and it delights me:

10) another purchase that is entirely bc of Vish (I ADORE you!!) is my Chimmy blanket!! He's just so adorable and bright and coming home every day to see him waiting on my bed makes me very happy

11) yet another bright yellow thing that makes me happy is my dmbj Xiao Ge coaster!! It's so sparkly and fun AND it's a friendship coaster I share with Sierra!! We've got a matching set, babe!! I love you!! Let's just shake them around and be distracted by the sparkles forever!!

12) coming back to work from my weekend to find a bunch of manga to shelve always makes me very happy!!! Buying/pricing/shelving manga is my favourite thing to do at work! I love seeing familiar and new titles!

And it's interesting to see how prices can change if it goes out of print! Sometimes every single book in a series but ONE is the same price. Like last month we had a series where like/ volume 8 was worth $250 vs the regular $7.99 for the rest of them. And someone BOUGHT IT!! Things like that can happen randomly. It can be bc it was a smaller printing for that particular volume. OR something special happens in it (new character appearance/fan favourite story arc/BOOBS), so more ppl want to keep it which means it's harder to come by (and then sellers raise their prices BC it's difficult to come by). You usually see the collectible value go up for out of print BL or older series like Aria or Lupin III. Not everything that's out of print is collectible, but it's always interesting when it is :)

13) DAY6's The Book of Us: Gravity has graciously given me a big serotonin boost the last couple days!! It's just- I dunno! Uplifting! Catchy! Full of energy! :)

14) similarly, I've been listening to Close Your Eyes by Isaac Hong almost exclusively for like- five days now! It's from The Uncanny Counter and it makes me very happy! It's very emotional and just reminds me of my baby boy So Mun :)

15) sunshine makes me happy!! I'm at that point in the year where I don't want rain anymore, just sun! So it's always nice having my windows open at home with the sun shining through. Or the back doors at work propped open while we go about our day. It's almost impossible to feel sad when you get to bask in the warmth of the sun and smell the nice fresh air

16) finding weird random books at work makes me happy! It's so fun seeing the kinds of things people read! And sometimes you find cool ephemera in the things people sell to us that they don't want back. Like- look at this pic from an older fortune-telling birthday book I found. She is 1000% Drowning Him and I love that for her :)

17) reading manga makes me happy. There are just so many wonderful and ridiculous series out there. There really is nothing "too weird to publish" in the manga world. I was reminded of this the other day when I discovered a series about a girl who timetravels and finds out that her soulmate is a Neanderthal. You can literally find a series about ANYTHING in the manga world and I love that about it. There's no limit to the imagination and there's something for everyone :)

18) when I'm in the mood, writing and drawing make me happy. There's just something about creating that really just- fills the soul :)

19) making playlists makes me happy!! I love having playlists for characters and relationships and fics and even specific fic chapters or moods or going to sleep! (And rec playlists! Like Vish's :) ) It's just- so satisfying having the Perfect Playlist on hand! Plus it's fun actually making them- like figuring out the mood/lyrics and what they fit into :) I listen to music almost constantly, so this is essential! :)

So thank you Sierra!! It was nice to remind myself about a lot of different things that bring joy to my life!! I love and adore you SO MUCH 💖💖💖