#also jr looks off in this game idk why I think that

[blushroom20]

This scene from the new Mario & Luigi trailer has me wondering if they’re secretly giving us Bowser Jr’s Journey 2…

[drawbauchery]

mayro and loogi movie 2023 let’s-a arrive

MOTHERFUCKIN UUHHHHH

MARIO BROS MOVIE THOUGHTS

it’s long, i talk about luigi a lot. and there are spoilers 

THE NOT GREAT STUFF

not enough luigi

where was luigi in the whole like second act where WAS he

idk missed opportunity for some development while he was captured. he could’ve interacted more with the other prisoners. or kamek & bowser. i feel like kamek taunting him about how bowser’s gonna kill the hell out of mario or something would’ve raised the emotional stakes a bit, like instead of sitting there waiting to be rescued luigi could be wanting to rescue mario himself 

he kinda just didn’t have any lines after getting captured, too....gimme something, movie.......he talked back to spike so easily, a little bit of defiance at some point would’ve been neat ;-; 

i saw one brilliant take that was like, bowser should’ve kept luigi around and “consulted” him about who mario is, and they’d both get just the teensiest more development that way, with both airing out their own insecurities. bowser thinking (knowing) he’s not good enough for peach and luigi wanting to be more like the brother he’s always counting on

luigi making clear he wants to be brave for once->more impact when he shields mario at the end

i was hoping for a prison break i’m gonna be real

and don’t get me wrong i LOVE kidnapping stories but i HATE it when the kidnapped isn’t allowed to do anything. wish they’d given luigi more flexibility to at least TRY something instead of essentially throwing him aside, y’know?

idk man just more luigi. 

also, pacing not good. pacing iffy. maybe bad

coming off the heels of the perfect pacing and flawless balancing of an ensemble that was puss in boots, i think moving some stuff around could’ve made room for my boy. they coulda done it.

specifically, the pacing was WAY too fast. i love when movies let emotions really sink in. luigi’s little flashback scene was really nice, more stuff like that pls

did peach ever even tell mario her name i forgot

NOT the bowser musical number i DREAMT of. hilarious af but i wanted A SONG. A BANGER. A 90′s DISNEY VILLAIN BOP

not a fan of the played out peach/bowser forced marriage stuff but it’s mario what are you gonna do

no luigi power-ups what’s up with that

the freaking illumination dog design threw me off so badly i was almost brought out of the mario immersion. i was thinking nothing could be bad enough to make me not excited to be sitting in that theater and then the fucking dog showed up. straight out of secret life of pets. it also should’ve been a scarier big dog. (his nod of approval at the end was good though 100/10)

and look mario’s a cutie pie, a sweetheart, wanna squish his lil cheeks, i loved him being ABSOLUTELY terrified of bowser when they met because who the fuck wouldn’t be, but in the end luigi is still so much more interesting to me 8′D

NO BOWSER JR. CAMEO?????

why the FUCK didn’t bowser and luigi kiss

THE GREAT STUFF

luigi

luigi’s voice

luigi’s pathetic little meeps and yelps and being so squishable

luigi & mario

mario & luigi

THEY WERE SO GODDAMN SWEET AND CUTE AND GOOD

mario tearing through the alleys like a beast and just. instinctively opening gates and leaving pathways for luigi. not in a “hurry up and pull your weight” kind of way, but like. a doting, considerate way that showed he just wanted to make things easier for his brother. i was crying screaming they were just so soft

i did NOT expect to see their family. that’s the kind of grounding, humanizing scene i was hoping for

luigi trying to eat. let him eat

mario playing kid icarus. he’s besties with pit in subspace. pit/mario friendship real

the luma

luigi doing a mic drop with his phone and just going O-O when it breaks

all the poses. all the music cues. all the mario kart. i’m a relatively new fan of mario ok i didn’t grow up with any of the games besides luigi’s mansion--

KING BOO CAMEO BTW AAAAYYYY

--but even i was squealing at all the references. like, all the moves from the games are there. down to the way mario and luigi run. and all the power-ups, and the enemies, it’s ALL THERE

but especially that mario kart scene, that’s one game i play religiously so the part where they’re choosing what their karts look like TICKLED me gdfksld

DIDDY KONG DIDDY KONG DIDDY KONG

yo were mario and donkey kong kinda.....were they like.....*flips hand* y’know.....?

action scenes were all stellar. had no right to go that hard. 

blue shell being a relentless, vicious force of evil

peach power-ups

peach’s wedding dress

peach in general 

toad and his kart of choice

“lu”

“you can’t be scared all the time, luigi” “you’d be surprised”

“my dad thinks i’m a joke too” “well your dad is RIGHT”

a lot of people don’t want mario and peach to ever end up together, and as a rabid hater of zelda/link i COMPLETELY understand and could not be more sympathetic. but i do ship mario and peach so i personally really liked their little flirty moments 

luigi bringin mario some spaghetti 

nice little snippets of characters like bowser and dk having underlying problems. leaves lot open for sequels n spinoffs.........i’m sure that totally wasn’t their intention...........

me: “if mario doesn’t grab bowser by the tail, twirl him around and throw him, then i don’t wanna know about it”

movie: *has mario and luigi do this TOGETHER*

me: “a    h”

bringing the fight to brooklyn had me so excited and i don’t even know why

THE 80′S SONGS HELLO???

bowser’s castle looking like a rave like in the og games

nervous bowser

the 4 hour long sex scene between luigi and bowser was so tastefully done, i was impressed and moved 

memory bad but i WILL probably add MORE

[disastergenius]

my take on the casting for the RWRB movie that no one asked for and is coming very late in the game:

I don’t mind that they aged the characters up nor do I mind that the actors look older. 

Aging the characters up gives them a bit more credence to why they are able to do the things they do, besides just being in their positions. Yes, their “youth” is important to their characterization, a new generation of leaders etc, but aging them up a bit is not going to make that much of a difference. 

Looking older makes sense. Like yes I am aware both are described as young looking due to them being 21/22, but I also never really pictured them looking that young? Maybe that’s just me, but they’re young adults, and while some (me) young adults that age look like they could still be in high school, I don’t ever characterize Henry or Alex as looking like this. Alex in particular actually, and I think I made this characterization due to the fact that his goal is to be the youngest Congressperson ever elected. One doesn’t do that by looking like a high schooler, and looking a bit older than his age would likely get people to treat him more seriously. Thinking about all the youngest Congresspeople currently in Congress, they all look their age if not a bit older (ex: Maxwell Frost is 25 in the House, and looks his age). Also around the same time I first read RWRB, I watched Catch Me If You Can with Leonardo Di Caprio, who was much older than the character he was playing (a high schooler ~16, Di Caprio was late 20s and looked it), but one of the things that was noted about the real person the movie is based on, Frank Abagnale Jr, looked older than he was and that helped him get away with a lot of things he did. 

Henry I can give a bit more leeway to just because he’s the prince, I have less to say about what his age range looks like vs what it actually is. 

Idk I am pretty happy with the casting and I think a lot of people have come around on it, but I think a lot of people were thrown off because they’ve been viewing these characters with the typical awful internet gay stereotypes that they so badly want to assign each of these characters to be and I think that made the reactions worse. 

[tardytothesimspardy]

The Newbies

I don't know why their house looks like this

DISCLAIMER: For some reason I impulsively decided to change the duration of seasons from 14 days, to 28 days, so I have already played Winterfest, but then because I extended the seasons, I'm going to have to play it again. But I still wanted to save all the pictures from the first time, because Mags was pregnant, and although I could go back to all of that,, I just don't feel like it :/ so I won't :///

Now that Fatima and Vadim are married, I can go over to the Newbies, and actually start playing them as well.

Right off the bat, neither of them were particularly happy, so I had Mags whip up a plate of pancakes.

She also had some very exciting news for Robert, but I'm not really sure how he felt about it.

Despite the immediate lack of excitement on Robert's part, Mags was still excited, as Winterfest was almost around the corner. She dug through their box of decorations, just imagining the fun ways the house could be dressed up.

Mags' belly was like, immediately huge, like I swear her belly in her 2nd trimester was bigger than Fatima's ever was, which I just find interesting. But anyway yeah she's huge.

Later, Robert and Mags decorated the tree, and since Robert is a perfectionist, he was really finicky about the decorations, and so it was mostly just Mags watching him decorate, and occasionally flirting with him.

They even did a mistletoe kiss, which was really cute.

Later, they had an enjoyable Winterfest dinner, and opened their presents.

I think Mags got a painting, and Robert got a decorational coffee maker set.

The next morning, I went over to the Simovitch household, and Fatima ended up going into labor after eating breakfast.

When I saw this happening, I just imagined the interaction went like:

Fatima: Oh my god, it's time. Vadim: Yeah, it's time for breakfast :)

He swiftly did start freaking out, but idk it was pretty funny to me.

Then it was the usual shebang, and huzzah, Betty Simovitch has been born!

After that, I went back to the Newbies, and due to Robert's weird hours, he had a lot of free time, so he visited with some friends from work. He ended up spoiling a TV show to one friend, and she wasn't happy about that.

Within a few minutes of Robert coming home, Mags was sent home early, since she went into labor (only like 20 minutes early though).

This time, I made a set outfit for when Mags is in the hospital, because it bugs me how they switch into the hospital gown to have the baby, and then when they hold the baby, they switch into their everyday clothes, and then once the baby is spirited away back home, they put the gown on again. The game did not like that, but I wanted the good screenshots!!

It also bugs me that only the Sim that delivers the baby can hold the baby in the hospital, even if you bring other Sims with you. So, here's Robert holding his son too.

Welcome to the save, Betty Simovitch and Robert Newbie Jr.!!!

[millenial-net-utopia-2010]

https://www.reddit.com/r/GenZ/comments/1apcw62/wheres_the_genz_protests/

Anyways I find Zoomers seemingly large lack of protest to be both a good and bad sign. It's a good sign as I found most protests since the 80s to be large virtue signaling parties that rarely change anything, making it mostly a waste of time. On the other hand it may show that Zoomers have disconnected from the world to actually try to go out and make a change, no matter how worthless it may be.

View: https://www.tumblr.com/nando161mando/742242144533823488?source=share

this type of slacking… it seems new, from 2015-on… idk why. like, can imagine, but what is the (sudden) urge? they just said to themselves "this is over" and went like, "fuck it we will ruin it if we cant have it nice"? edit: also

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIILnDJHqRk

edit 2 inability to get past our past (1980s) - other one, Lwest has fallen" one

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itqsik7grQM&ab_channel=Jallomoth

and

View: https://youtu.be/D7Y7SX9QV0o

View: https://www.tumblr.com/ianmccowanfinearts/166990545991/oreet-ashery-subverting-neoliberalism-and-the-far?source=share

https://forum.agoraroad.com/index.php?threads/you-cant-stop-whats-coming.4417/post-101444

while i dont like ESG and incompetence, what other to do... (thats why out-of-loop*, out-of-life people shouldnt have decision say in these stuff) * old money, who at the same time try to support new money/neoliberalism, which they dont use if they are those at the top, mfw...

geez, one wonders why!!!

lost future / post-occupy nonsense world / boring dystopia

Saying ""GAYmer word"" on the computer and refusing to be a wageslave are truer protests than anything pre-zoomers did. Look how angry and upset it can make people. Yes I might have come back just to say that.

I mean I agree with the overarching sentiment contained within, but this is less readable than MapQuest directions stapled to my nuts while I am driving.

I teach jr high/highschool(highschool presently) and the state of affairs all around is bleak . I can see why most of genz is just completely numb; they have never had any time of real peace. Peace referring to both the state of global affairs and personal(internal)

Many of us grew up in a time were we could "shut off" or disconnect. You can barely get away with that these days and most do not bother to even try anymore.

The larger population is completely pacified and distracting themselves with whatever dopamine high they can chase, this is by design.

Hope has gone from this world, we were supposed to build a world we would be proud to raise children in. Instead most have realized we have created a world they would never wish for a child to grow up in.

Humans were not meant to live in the monolithic consumerist societies we have constructed.

... (https://forum.agoraroad.com/index.php?threads/young-people-%C2%B484-%C2%B414-and-on-giving-up-on-life-life-under-l-s-capitalism-where-is-my-jetpack-cancelled-futures.6412/post-101520)

(creator of @rollerwavegallery)

...

View: https://youtu.be/PPWeAe4_tkY related too, to

"Being able to use a computer mouse is not considered standard knowledge in education"

I don't know about stuff like domains and spiral abyss, since I pretty much treat this game as an exploration and climbing simulator. Well, that's exactly why I wanted a private server too. It even has infinite stamina. Thanks, man

 forum.agoraroad.com fits here (read comments) /r/mentalhealth/comments/1avm9q5/why_is_our_generation_so_fcked/ /r/GenZ/comments/1atzfkv/the_fatalism_in_our_generation_is_as_toxic_as_the/

...

Education has sucked for a very long time. I used to think it was a result of No Child Left Behind and forced standardized testing, but then my Gen X mentor told me his schooling experience was a ton of mentally checked-out teachers who barely taught shit (he recommended I watch Teachers (1984) for a comedic overview of the time). He didn't go to a bad school either, it was a nice upper-middle-class majority white school in a suburban neighborhood. I used to be fixated on NCLB being the end of good education but it was an attempt to fix a problem in our broken system.

It'd be hard to trace when and why it started sucking and it's definitely a contributing factor in generational downfall. One major factor (and this is coming from an employed mom) that the downfall started when women went fully into the workforce and there wasn't at least one fully-mentally-present parent to give a shit about a child's upbringing. Then neoliberalism exacerbated by driving american salaries down with offshoring, forcing parents to work more hours. Think about our current issues in education. Here it's a hot topic to have phones in the classroom, with parents saying "what if a school shooter came in the room and they needed to text me goodbyeee!!!". Would that still be an issue if they were more present with their kids to know they're addicted to Fortnite, TikTok is cancer, and their education would be better off without it? Parents spend most of their time after work trying to keep the house together or decompressing and not with their kids to really know them. Parents do whatever they can to appease their kids with shiny objects because they're genuinely too busy to have the free mental space to care (newest gen iPad parenting). And it's not the parents' fault either.

My point with the ramble is we've had a ton of issues, everywhere, for decades, and Gen Z is the latest and worst brand of it. I can't see it getting better with the generation after. It's not just education that needs an overhaul, it's everything. And it's difficult to re-engineer such a complicated and large system.

...

I don't fully agree, but a former agoran wrote a good explanation of what went wrong and why it's so bad.

album

...

...

other takes

Some_porcupine: KOSA rants: View: https://www.tumblr.com/nutzo0001/729070909202251776?source=share

5 minutes ago

Some_porcupine: media literacy:

View: https://www.tumblr.com/nutzo0001/736141929068265472/fake-or-real-how-to-self-check-the-news-and-get?source=share5 minutes ago

Some_porcupine: oldweb

View: https://www.tumblr.com/nutzo0001/721680502926589952/azspot-in-recent-months-the-signs-and-portents?source=share

overton window (50% it is fake yap, but still, interesting ideas, for the sake of thought experiment)

View: https://www.tumblr.com/nutzo0001/742217281137000448

GONNA REVAMP THIS BLOG... USED TO BE PR ADS, - NOW, IT IS PLACE FOR NEW AESTHETICS - "NET UTOPIA 2010" (TENTATIVE NAME)

[hchollym]

Sometimes I wonder how much of Percy’s desire to work for the ministry came from him wanting more stability then he grew up with.

Idk I always pegged him as a teacher 🤷

I definitely agree with this. I personally think Percy liked the idea of the Ministry more than the reality:

He wanted a stable job where he could make a decent amount of money, because he wanted to be able to support a family better than his father did (which is entirely understandable). He also wanted a job in a place where his hard work would paid off and he would get the respect that he’s always craved. We know that things are more complicated than that within the Ministry, but Percy didn’t; for him, the Ministry seemed like a reasonable choice. I’m also willing to bet that his mom played a part in pushing him in that direction because she saw it as an “acceptable” career. Plus, you also have to take into account that there are only so many jobs in the Wizarding World, and the Ministry is by far the biggest employer, so it seemed like a safe bet. 

However, even though Percy could/would excel at a job in the Ministry, I don’t think it would ever really make him happy. 

Ironically enough, we see that his interests don’t necessarily align to his career goals. When he was talking to Harry about which classes to choose in his 3rd year, he said: 

“It’s never too early to think about the future, so I’d recommend Divination. People say Muggle Studies is a soft option, but I personally think wizards should have a thorough understanding of the non-magical community, particularly if they’re thinking of working in close contact with them — look at my father, he has to deal with Muggle business all the time. My brother Charlie was always more of an outdoor type, so he went for Care of Magical Creatures. Play to your strengths, Harry.”

Divination? Yeah, he’s not using that at his Ministry job. It’s also a very interesting choice for Percy, but I won’t go into that right now. I also tend to think that Percy has a strong interest in Transfiguration as well, because he chose to use Human Transfiguration during his duel in the Battle of Hogwarts, and I don’t think many people would have even considered that as an option if it wasn’t something they thought about often. 

It would have been super interesting for Percy to become the Divination professor or the Transfiguration professor (when McGonagall took over as Headmistress) at Hogwarts. However, I also think Percy knew that he couldn’t go into teaching right away (even Tom Riddle Jr. - known as the most brilliant student to ever attend Hogwarts - was rejected for a teaching position right after graduation because he was considered too young), and that would have been a major deterrent for him.

Regardless, I think the Ministry would slowly suck the life out of him, because it’s not what he hoped for - you don’t just succeed because you work hard and try to do the right thing. There’s a lot of politics involved, including making connections (often with unfavorable people) and sometimes overlooking “minor” infractions, and even though Percy could (and clearly did) adapt to that, I don’t think he would want to. And no, I don’t believe for one second that the “reformed” Ministry after the war was suddenly devoid of all this. 🙄 Percy wants things to be fair, and in the government, they’re just not. It’s one of those situations where people like Percy would ideally make the government better, but in reality, they often get screwed in the process. 

I personally think he would be happier in a job where he could be organized, do research, share his findings, make changes to better his field (we see that theme several times throughout his story), and not have to deal with all the games that people play to get ahead. That’s why I think he would be a great Healer, but I do think he would be a great professor as well. 

Thanks for the ask! 😊

[alengmae]

Every Story Is Us (CH 5)

(AN: I was convinced by Jess to post this here. IDK why Jess but you work in mysterious ways. To read this in AO3 and my other drabbles, visit here.)

“What you seek is seeking you.”

~Rumi

Penelope choked on her the tiny sip of wine she took. She started coughing but her date carried on like nothing was amiss.

“Yeah, you remind me so much of her. You should meet Mother. I just know she will love you,” he gushed further. He gave her an expectant grin.

She gaped at him in astonishment. They literally just sat down not fifteen minutes ago, yet he was already talking about her meeting his mother on their first date. She knew it was a bad idea to trust Eloise and Fran’s idea. Tinder dates were really not her style. And, based on her first date, she felt vindicated.

She was about to set the record straight when the server came to their table and took their order. She opened her mouth to speak but her date was a lot faster.

“She’ll have the Steak Diane. You don’t mind me ordering for you, right?” he asked as he turned to her.

Penelope was too dumbfounded to respond. He was hitting all her red flags and he was completely oblivious to her irritation, which was awfully apparent since the server’s professional smile turned into a wince. She only raised her glass of wine to the server, who understood immediately her need for more booze. If the server were considerate, she would bring an entire bottle for her.

“Oh and separate bill,” he added before explaining to her with a hint of condescension, “I like to go Dutch on the first date. You don’t mind, do you? Of course you don’t!”

Honestly, she didn’t mind at all. If anything, she would have insisted on it. She felt that he was the type to lord it over after dinner, expecting for something in return. But the way he went on another tangent about his mother, she just knew she was not going to last the appetizer course.

She cursed Eloise and Fran heavily in her head. They insisted she try out the app and look where it got her. She should have followed Daphne’s instructions, to never get caught up in her younger sisters’ shenanigans. As she listened to her date drone on and on, one thing became clear in her mind. She needed new friends.

Nay, better friends.

She just moved from Ireland to London for work. And she met Eloise, a fellow teacher, not too long ago and they clicked immediately. Soon, she was invited to all their brunches and dinners. She fell in love with her family instantly, all eight of them. Although, there was a Bridgerton brother she has not met yet. Seemingly, that Bridgerton was off traveling the world and was on a lengthy tour this time around. And, if he was anything like his siblings, she knew she would come to love him too. But, right now, that love she felt for all things Bridgerton started to wane. She said she didn’t want a date but no, Eloise and Fran had to drag her kicking and screaming into one.

She was pulled out of her reverie when her date grasped her hand. He gently caressed her with his clammy hand and she nearly shivered from disgust because why was his hand so wet?

“I just knew as soon as I saw your picture you’d be the one. Even mother said you’d be a good wife with your wide-set hips,” he beamed at her.

“Oh my god,” she gasped out loud. She tugged her hand back and excused herself to the restroom. She needed to get out of this date. Never in her life had she felt so uncomfortable. She frantically dialed Eloise to come save her but there was no reception at all. Her annoyance reached an all-time high. Was there a fucking signal blocker installed in this facility? She lingered outside the restroom, hidden by the stately plants decorating the restaurant, and repeatedly scrolled through her phone for a miracle. She was close to screaming in frustration.

It was then she felt a finger lightly poke her back. She swiveled around and saw the most gorgeous man she had ever seen. He was exactly her type: tall, dark and handsome. He was incredibly fit, and wearing clothes that highlighted his muscular body. He had on a sympathetic smile and lips that were begging to be kissed. Well, hello there. Maybe his attractiveness short-circuited her brain because she just stood there gaping at him like an idiot.

“Sorry,” he modestly started, “I couldn’t help but notice. Are you alright?”

Penelope nodded, heat spreading on her cheeks. She must have looked like a mad woman, pacing to and fro in front of the restroom. She smiled weakly at him.

“Are you sure?” He glanced in the direction of her date and she grimaced. Her date was openly picking his nose in public at the moment. Penelope had to close her eyes in an effort not to shudder in repugnance. “Anne told me you might need saving.”

She perked up at the name of her server. She might have found her salvation after all. “I…actually, I might,” she bashfully admitted. “I need rescuing from my date. It’s a Tinder date.” She felt the need to explain why. Obviously, this handsome man in front of her probably think she was crazy for going on this date in the first place. And, just in case he might be interested, she wanted to make herself appear saner.

“No worries. I’m your guy,” he reassured her. When he grinned at her, she swore it went straight between her legs. The pull of her attraction to him was insanely intense. She had never felt anything like this before with other men.

“Colin, by the way,” he held out his hand, which she met coyly. “Penelope.”

She marveled at how long his fingers were compared to hers, how rough his skin was against hers and how dry his hands was compared to her date. Her mind started to wander to more wanton thoughts as he shook her hand. His fingers should be illegal, she mused. When he let go, she already mourned the loss of contact.

“Alright, Penelope. I’ll be your knight in shining armor tonight,” he stated excitedly.

Ugh, and he’s charming too? How the hell was he real?

He urged her back to her date without a game plan, only a wink. She got too pre-occupied with said wink to even ask about how he planned on rescuing her. She reluctantly sat down across her date again.

“You sure took your time there,” her date stated said evenly. “I hate waiting. Be more prudent next time.”

She almost threw the basket of breadsticks to his face. Colin better come right away or else, she will stab the man in front of her in the eye with a breadstick. Before she could openly berate him, Colin marched to their table purposefully. He stopped with a loud dramatic gasp.

“Penelope, how could you?” he bellowed scandalously. “After ten years of marriage, this is what you’re doing?”

“What the fuck…” she mumbled in shock at his theatrical display. Her date appeared to be equally confused at the scene in front of them.

“And you left Colin Jr at home by himself to meet up with this man?” Colin continued his melodrama without pausing. “What does he have that I don’t?”

“Wait, you have a kid?” her date’s furious question jerked her from her bewilderment.

“I-“

“I thought you were a virgin!” he cut her off, for the nth time this night.

“That’s where you draw the line? Me not being a virgin?” her incredulous voice was shrill in affront.

Even Colin stopped with his dramatics with a revolted, “Dude.”

Thankfully, this was the moment her date decided to storm out. “Mother was right, after all. Never trust anyone from the internet,” he spat at her before he left.

Penelope hissed back, “It goes both ways!” She clutched her wine glass and chugged the contents in one go.

Colin took her date’s seat and stared at her, eyes twinkling in amusement.

She glared at him. “And you, Colin Jr really?” she asked with a huff.

“I got carried away. You should have seen your face!” He laughed out loud. But she had a sneaking suspicion that he planned it all from the start. She supposed, once that her outrage had passed, it was hilarious. She started giggling with him.

He was about to stand when the food came out, along with a bottle of wine. Penelope stopped him from leaving. “It’s a shame to waste all these food I’d end up paying for. And really want to thank you for saving me from that horrible date.”

He appeared hesitate so she added further, “After ten years of marriage, this is the least I could do.”

He laughed out loud again. It definitely was her libido acting up because she felt herself swoon slightly to his baritone laughter. She found herself wondering if he had a Tinder account. He gestured for her to pick which plate was hers. She gratefully took her previous date’s salmon dish and pushed the steak towards him. They ate, happily chatting about everything under the sun. He regaled her with stories of his vast travels, one story similarly exciting as the next. She offered her childhood tales from her Irish motherland. He started talking about his work, and how he just came back from Morocco after missing his boisterous family. And she started opening up about her insecurity of being in an unfamiliar country all by herself. He held her hand in consolation as she admitted succumbing to homesickness sometimes. He comforted her by recounting comical anecdotes from his travels.

If she was awestruck by his good-looks, she was even more enamored by his wit and sense of humor. He made her laugh so hard but he also made her think. There was nothing sexier than a sharp intellect. He was becoming more dangerous to her as more times passed.

They stayed together until it was closing time. And she barely noticed the passage of time. It wasn’t until Anne cleared her throat in front of them that they noted that they were the only patrons in the restaurant left. She awkwardly asked for the cheque but Colin stopped her.

“This one’s on me, Anne.”

Their server nodded and bid them a good night before leaving.

“What? Wait, Anne!” She tried stopping her but her pleas fell on deaf ears. “I was supposed to treat you,” she grumbled lightly to Colin.

He shrugged. “How can I ask the mother of my child, Colin Jr, to pay for our date?”

She paused, blushing profusely. “Even if she dared to date someone else tonight?” she teased playfully.

He leaned in, whispering conspiratorially, “Even when she tried to date someone else tonight. And might I add, she looks absolutely lovely tonight.”

Smooth like fucking butter. Her face must be red as a tomato right now, she reckoned. “Well, Colin Jr’s dad is not bad looking either.”

He beamed at her. She wanted to look away because he was too beautiful, it’s just not right. But he gently grasped her hand and asked softly, “Can I have your number? I really liked our time together and I really like you.”

“I like you too,” she replied, breathless.

He started leaning towards her, eyes locked on her lips. She did the same, magnetically slanting her body closer to his. Just when they were a fraction of an inch away, the kitchen door busted open with Anne bustling out.

“Boss, do you want-oops! My bad!” She retreated as fast as she came.

Damn it, Anne! Her scowl must have been a sight since he started chortling. He kissed the back of her hand reverently after to assuage her.

“Wait, she said boss?”

It was his turn to be sheepish. “I own this place.”

She blinked. That explained his intervention. “I clearly chose the wrong place to cheat on Colin Jr’s father.”

“I don’t know. I thought you were at the perfect place and time. I think I’m plenty lucky tonight,” he said sincerely.

She didn’t think she should voice out that if he kept on being sweet like that, he will get even luckier tonight. She only replied, “I’m glad.”

She exchanged numbers with him eagerly before bidding him a good night. But before she could step out from the restaurant, he gathered her in his arms and crashed his lips against hers. And it was magic and satisfaction and bliss and release all rolled into one. She clung to him, desperate against the tide of overwhelming emotions. When his tongue slipped into her mouth, she was completely swept away. It felt as if she would come undone with just a flick of his tongue. When they broke apart, they were gasping for air and sporting giddy grins.

“Good night, Colin,” she called out sweetly.

“Good night, Penelope.”

She didn’t sleep at all that night. The butterflies in her stomach were too flighty. And her excitement could not be abated, even as she knew she was attending a Bridgerton brunch the next day. She was groggy when she came in but a smile could not seem to leave her face.

Eloise pulled her aside to interrogate her about her Tinder date last night but the flurry of excitement filled the room. Everyone was enthusiastic for some reason. “The long lost Bridgerton is finally coming home. The prodigal son has returned,” Eloise said wryly. But Penelope detected her friend’s delight beneath all the sarcasm.

“Oh, that’s good,” she could not help but mirror her friend’s pleasant demeanor. She was already riding the high from last night. Another cause for celebration was just the cherry on top.

“Yeah, apparently he came back yesterday from Morocco in secret so he could surprise us. But Hyacinth still can’t keep her trap shut, ruining the surprise.”

“Morocco?”

It was then that she heard a familiar voice bellow out his greetings. She whipped her head fast and her eyes met his across the room. It was cliché but she would swear to anyone who would listen that at that moment, time slowed down. When their eyes met, it felt like nothing else mattered. And her heart leapt in anticipation as he crossed the sea of people to meet her.

“Penelope?”

“Colin.”

“You two know each other?” Eloise asked, awed.

She smiled brightly, eyes locked onto Colin. “Of course! We’ve been married, what…ten years now?”

He snickered harder upon seeing everyone’s bewildered faces. “Colin Jr missed you last night.”

Eloise interrupted again, “Is he talking about his dick?”

Penelope chose to ignore her friend now that Colin intertwined his hand with hers. “Did he now? I should go visit him some time.”

“I’m sure he’ll be ecstatic with your visit.”

“So how does tonight sound?” she asked, playful in her inquiry but nervous with his answer.

He kissed the back of her hand sweetly. “Perfect. I know a place. They serve the best Steak Diane.”

She laughed.

[paintedlight]

Supernatural Season 15 & Sufjan Stevens' “The Ascension”

Teaser: there’s a song on this album called "Die Happy” where the lyrics are just “I want to die happy” for 5 minutes and 45 seconds. yeah. yeah.

Disclaimer: yes it’s all a stretch and I’m overthinking it but also… am I? (yes) 

long post time! know that reading ahead may hurt you and yes it does get worse the further down the track list you get 💕 have fun kids

So just to start off, I think it’s funny that something Sufjan’s discography & Supernatural have in common is the 15+ years of the internet arguing if it’s gay or not, and the answer ending up being yes. PLUS there’s the obvious connection of American mythos + mythology + calvinist themes (I am hissing) + religious trauma prevalent in both. 

If you’re a fan of both like I am, it’s easy to connect them— notable connections being songs like “John My Beloved” and “The Owl and the Tanager” or even “John Wayne Gacy Jr.”, but I’m going to focus on Sufjan's 2020 album, “The Ascension” since even the arc itself seems so connected to season 15 of Supernatural, specifically. 

At least in my head it does <3 enjoy 

MAKE ME AN OFFER I CANNOT REFUSE

When interviewed about the meaning of this track, Sufjan explains that this song is about asking God, “what do you have to say for humanity?” That it’s about desperation, creation, and devastation. It’s about frustration with divinity. Also the vibes are 10/10. Need I say more 

RUN AWAY WITH ME

This song is beautiful, it makes me want to sit in some grass and stare at the sky. 

Some lines that make me Dean/Cas crazy are the two lines in verse 1 and verse 2 that mirror each other by being in the same place melodically:

Verse 1: they will terrorize us / with new confusion / with the fear of life that seeks to bring despair within

Verse 2: I will bring you life / a new communion / with a paradise that brings the truth to light within

Yeahhh so the words “Despair” and “The Truth” were mirrored in this song yes it was coincidental yes I’m clinging to it. It fascinates me 

But this song is about begging someone to stay with you.

sweet falling remedy / come run away with me / you’re all I ever need

VIDEO GAME

My first thought when I heard this song was about how it was such a song for enneagram 4s. If you don’t know what that means, I think Dean is a 4 and wrote a post about it here. 

AND @trapperjohnmcintyre also made the connection between these lyrics and Dean in this post, and honestly I don’t need to say much more than that??

The song is about feeling paranoid and angry that God is controlling your every move and you can’t escape it (aka hating the doctrine of predestination). Of course it’s also about not wanting to follow societal scripts. 

You just want to have an easier life instead of the weight of good and evil resting on your back!!!

I don’t want to put the devil on a pedestal / I don’t want put the saints in chains / I just want to make my life a little easier / I don’t want to play your video game

Also these painful lines, as a treat: 

I don’t want to love you if you don’t receive it / I don’t want to save the world that way

Oh, I almost forgot, also. At the end, the narrator gives up. He’s like well I guess I can’t escape. Gotta follow the procedure. Gotta be a puppet.

I don’t want it to go down that way / but in a way you gotta follow the procedure / so go ahead and play your video game

  LAMENTATIONS

I don’t have much to say about this one but this line always makes my heart ache idk:

I was only thinking of human kindness

TELL ME YOU LOVE ME

Here we gooooooo. Y’all aren’t ready.

Thesis: Tell me you love me despite the primordial darkness about to overtake me. And even if you don’t, I’m going to love you. 

15x18 Despair anyone?? 

I want to just paste the whole song but, here—

DIE HAPPY

Yep, "Die Happy" immediately follows "Tell Me You Love Me." Yes, the lyrics are just “I want to die happy” over and over for almost 6 minutes. 

First of all, the repetition mirrors the end of the song Fourth of July, from Sufjan’s previous album Carrie & Lowell, where Sufjan sings “we’re all gonna die” over and over.

Parallels, baby.

But I noticed something else about this recently though— in Die Happy, if you are listening to it in your headphones, there’s this weird sound that sounds like a wasp flying around your head (it made me uncomfortable which is why I noticed it, haha). After I felt unnerved for a moment, I had a realization— that this could be referencing one of Sufjan’s most beloved songs, “The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades Is Out To Get Us!!” (yes that’s a real song title lol)

The Predatory Wasp is about how Sufjan fell in love with his best friend at the Bible Camp he went to as a teenager. The wasp is a metaphor for internalized homophobia and also his love and how he fears his love will hurt the boy he’s in love with. 

So, Die Happy references an iconic song from Illinois (2005) with these notable lines:

Tl;dr: 

I want to die happy vs. I can’t explain the state that I’m in / the state of my heart / he was my best friend

Here’s an Despair photoset with Predatory Wasp lyrics via @toneelspeelster. 

ATIVAN

So your best friend has just died happy by being in love with you. You feel like the primordial darkness is on YOU now:

I woke up in stereo—I spent the day in vertigo / I could not get the spirit off my back

You’re once again tossed in the waves of thinking that God is fucking with you. But either way you just want to be tranquilized at this point. 

Is it all for something? Is it all part of a plan / tranquilize me, sanitize me, Ativan

Is it all for nothing? Is it all part of a plan? / make my death wish, mind my business / do the best I can with what I am

Ativan asks, was the true leading woman all this time… substance abuse?? 

Ativan / my leading woman

Long story short, you’re drunk on communion wine, asking the shadows to come back.

fill me with the blood of Jesus / clean my plate 'til he receives us / separate the colors from the black / ... / tell the shadows near us to come back

 URSA MAJOR & LANDSLIDE

Not a lot to say about this (even though I love these songs) so I’m gonna skip mostly, but the narrator has decided he wants to love you, he can’t help it <3 

GILGAMESH

Oh boy. 

I mean you kinda know what’s coming because of the title. The Epic of Gilgamesh is the world’s oldest piece of epic world literature, and Gilgamesh was “the first hero of human history.” 

In the world’s oldest story, The Epic of Gilgamesh, Gilgamesh and Enkidu are “very close friends” (their relationship is very homoerotic and this is barely disputed). Gilgamesh calls Enkidu his brother, and they are mutually selfless towards each other but when Enkidu dies, indirectly because of Gilgamesh, Gilgamesh has a breakdown and mourns him like that of a spouse and then has to come to terms with his own mortality. 

The meta level of this is so obvious I’m not even going to go into it. Anyways… here are lyrics that make me want to scream! 

the repetition of “my heart”... the concept of singing a eulogy.... saying your heart is chained to Your Angel............ it hurts

DEATH STAR

Star Wars reference my beloved. Like many of these songs this has Fuck You God energy.

what you call the human race / expedite the judgement day / it’s your own damn head on that plate

vandalize what you create / ... / witness me resist your fate / it’s your own damn head on that plate

 GOODBYE TO ALL THAT

This song is a bop honestly 

When the lyrics were released a bunch of Sufjan fans contrasted Goodbye To All That’s here I am alone in my car / hopelessly infatuted / and I’m driving to wherever you are to Sufjan & Moses Sumney’s song, “Make Out in My Car”.

Yeah, I know, we’re all thinking of this:

Make Out in My Car is basically where Moses gave Sufjan a horny car guy chorus and told him to write the verses, and Sufjan proceeded to write the most liturgical shit ever (and we love him for it). ANYWAYS… Goodbye To All That also reminds me of Dean’s depression and the weirdness that started in 15x19 and goes into 15x20. For some reason he makes it seem more upbeat and happy than it is...

Despite this song being a bop, the lyrics are depressing. He’s alone in his car. He’s hopeless. He realizes it’s too late to have died a young man. 

He’s going to try to move on, even though nothing is left of him, he’s begging someone to turn around and show me his shadow.

He also references substance abuse again—

love me / and leave me / intoxicated

  SUGAR

The music video? Iconic. The mom of a family is making a pie, or she’s trying to. She ends up rubbing the filling all over her face, crushing the fruits, the oven catches on fire. 

But she does it! She makes the pie. 

Meanwhile the other family members are in their rooms, overindulging in sugar in all its forms. And then as she and her family eat around a dining table, occassionally being seemingly marrioetted by some unseen force, she looks angrily over her family, they all seem to kind of lose it, then the house starts to come apart until the chandelier falls on the dinner table. 

It’s the making pie + overindulgence in sugar + marionetted family metaphors for me ❤️ 

Ultimately, the song is about begging for affection, being desperate for domesticity, but you feel doomed, you feel like your defeat is predestined, that you can’t escape it.

You just don’t want to be heartbroken & you don’t want to be angry anymore!!!!

  THE ASCENSION

So you may be asking… does this guy get the domesticity he’s longing for?? Does he get his love back?? 

No. He dies. :/

The Ascension begins with just that. He’s dying.

THEN Sufjan decides to rhyme “confess” with “confess”, in two lines that mean almost opposite things:

When I am dead / and the light leaves my breast / nothing to be told / nothing to confess / let the record show / what I couldn’t quite confess

So does this guy have something to confess or not??? 👀

Moving on… 

He goes back to thinking about how his life was predestined all along, and now after all that, he’s dying. So he thinks about all the times he was kind of like this Mythological Icon. That he always had to be the one to show what was right, to lead by example. That that had been his entire identity. 

And he realizes he needs to answer for himself. 

Then he is frightened— realizing he was always asking what everything meant, what it all was for, but that all along he was just angry and depressed.

But even though he feels a like he should have just resigned himself to meaninglessness, that he only thought he could change the world for the better… it strengthened him to know the truth.

And even through the absolute shit of it all, and even though God & others did things from a place of so-called holiness and hopelessness...

He did everything out of love ❤️

So then he dies 🙃

AMERICA

So, as the end of The Ascension asked, what now? 

The album ends on this long track, which Sufjan describes as a protest against all that America has been and has become. 

It’s a protest against capitalism, of destroying humanity for the sake of some cold machinery. 

I have worshipped / I believed / I have broke your bread / for a splendor of machinery

And in true Sufjan fashion, he makes this song about protesting somehow both horny and religious, god bless

I have loved you / like a dream / I have kissed your lips / like a Judas in heat

I have worshipped / I have cried / I have put my hands in the wounds on your side / I have tasted of your blood / I have choked on the waters / I abated the flood / I am broken / I am beat / but I will find my way / like a Judas in heat

I am fortune / I am free / I’m like a fever of light / in the land of opportunity / don’t do to me / what you did to America / don’t do to me / what you do to yourself

  to finish out, here’s a DeanCas post by @eggcessive with lyrics from America ❤️ I HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY WEBWEAVING :)

[praphit]

“Project Power”- Add it to the list, Jamie :)

In these tense times of protests, economic woes, demon sperm,

and mad scientists giving us advice on how to stay safe

(Psssh, plus he’s a Nationals fan? Smh... that monster), 

it's natural for us to call out for a hero. 

I know that I'm first on your list (If you don’t know, get it together, I'm practically "Black Dynamite", especially since I haven't seen a barber in forever)

, and I'm flattered, but I'm a busy man. Much like common sense, I may not always be around to lend a hand.

You might want to turn to The Avengers, but 

- yeah. They're kinda done without a leader.

NEXT!

Batman? 

But is it the old, sad Ben Batman?

- or... 

... whatever the hell this is? Batman has got issues right now.

NEXT!

Politici... Ha! Sorry, I can't even... Ha! Just no.

NEXT!

Firefighters!

Sure, but unless your place is on fire or you're having a bachelorette party, they won't be of much use.

Somehow, next up is Jamie Foxx.

Yeah, I couldn't believe it either, but there he is - "Project Power".

Let's look at the official description of the movie shall we - 

"A former soldier teams up with a cop to find the source behind a dangerous pill that provides temporary superpowers."

Seems like it should be a fun, yet awful movie right??

I'm not even gonna bullshit you. This movie is awful, but not in the fun way. It's a Grade F, and that's that.

For starters, the trope-filled story never gets off the ground. I still don't know why or how it doesn't, but I was never invested in this flick. There's no depth to it. It's just those two, and a teenager, bypassing law enforcement to tackle the war on drugs.

This war starts with a character named "Newt", played by music artist (previously a rapper) / actor, Machine Gun Kelly. 

There are certain actors that consistently make poor choices for movies that they're in. It's to the point where if you see them in a trailer, you know that the movie is going to be bad. Now, he's not one of those actors, because you can't call what he does "acting". But, he is always one of the reasons why the movie he's in will be bad.

If you're unfamiliar with his bad choices, here's a brief recap:

*Making music *Beefing with Eminem

(this is not a pic of him from the movie, it's what happened to him once Em launched his diss track at MGK

 - goodbye "rap career")

*Dating Megan Fox

Even his character made poor decisions.

*Here's him drinking a big gulp, obnoxiously loud during a drug dealing meeting (I imagine Trump doing that in meetings).

*Then, his character has his own name written on his own door, WHEN THE COPS ARE LOOKING FOR HIM!

That's just amateur back-in-the-day cartoon villain stuff, right?? Back when they had giant evil lairs.

Plus, he can't be a very good dealer, being that we don't see all that many people using this drug. If this were real, I imagine that everyone would at least try it; especially the way our world is going right now. Granny would replace the hard candy in her jar with power pills.

I could go on and on, but I digress.

Joseph Gordon what's-his-face was good,

 but like most of the characters in this movie, he was one dimensional.

He's a renegade cop who will doing anything to get this ridiculous drug of the streets. Anything includes taking the drug himself to even the odds. The other cops know that he's doing it too! How do they see him doing something blatantly against the law that they serve and... oh wait.

Then, they've got the black teenage girl, who's facing real systemic racism, who focuses way too much on her rap skills rather than school work.

Whom adults also feel to need to take out of school and put her in life-threatening situations.

And Jamie Foxx... 

let's just review a few of the times in which he played an action role.

That’s him a lil behind Josh Lucas. Who’s that, you ask? - exactly.

Here he played a sick violinist... I think. It’s been a while. But, I remember him physically fighting with Robert Downey Jr (him in the back), so we’re adding to the action list:)

Here he is behind another white dude. And a another movie that we forgot about.

Here he is behind the white dude again... at least we know that white dude. 

Lemme look at the poster for “Project Power” again - 

aaaaah, see, now it makes sense to me why Gordon Joseph whatever-his-name-is looks so confused in the poster.

He’s like “Jamie, aren’t you supposed to be behind me?”

There are a few more, but we’ll end with this one...

Yeaaaaah... *sigh* Yeaaaaah. Let’s put that back in the vault.

Idk...

Somehow Tom Cruise, who's almost 60 and 5 foot 2 is so much more believable as an action star than Jamie Foxx.

Don't ask me how. It's one of the great mysteries of our time.

Oh right! - There WAS “Django Unchained”,

 but that had the absurdities of Quentin Tarantino and some comedy in it.

Maybe if they didn't take "Project Power" so seriously it would have worked.

I mean it's about drugs that give people temporary superpowers.  Drugs already give people powers (kinda):

1) Super Balance - idk about where y’all live, but here in Baltimore, there are leaners in every alley way exhibiting this power.

2) The ability to make your problems dis... well, not really disappear, but... you get the idea.

3) And loss of teeth! How about that one??! Pick them up, and use them as projectiles? YEAH!

But, these SUPER powers in the movie are more like speed, strength, fire, ice, all of the regulars.

The effects at times were good, 

but at other times it looked like a bad video game; with the dumbass boss fight as well.

Don't waste your time, people. I was hoping for Funny-Bad, but I got Sad-Bad. You know?? I kept thinking "*sigh* Oh, Jamie."

Have any of you seen "The Boys"? 

(a dark, but funny take on superheroes)

They could have done something like that. Jamie Foxx is hilarious, and that Gordon Joseph guy is pretty funny as well. Be creative. Be raw.

But, nope. They had to tell us a serious tale of a world where drug addicts have super powers, and comedians are our only hope for protection.

[avenging-fandoms]

idk why but graduating with spencer would be cute :( meeting in the first year of college, becoming best friends basically straight away, and almost spending every day with each other up to the day you graduated i'm :(((

you struggled to close your trunk with a bag on your shoulder and box in your head. a guy jogged over to you, closing it for you. “here, let me take that for you” he picked the box from your arms and you thanked him. “spencer reid”

“yn yln. what are you majoring?” 

“i’m going for my ph.d in mathematics, chemistry and engineering. i also want my b.a. in psychology and sociology” he replied. you raised your eyebrows, chuckling.

“wow, smart cookie. i’m going for my b.a. in psychology and sociology as well” you smile. “i wanna be in the fbi”

“no way me too!” he says and you both laugh. 

“this is my room” you open the door and he sets the box down on your bed. “i’m happy i got a single bed dorm. i don’t really.. do well with other people”

“you seem to do fine with me” he smiled, checking out your books. “must’ve been fate that we met, you and i seem very familiar” you smile, studying him. “do you have anymore boxes?” 

“uh.. no. nope, this is it. thank you, spencer. i’ll see you around?” he nodded, smiling. “do you need any help with anything?” you lean against the door, spencer turning around and pulling out his keys. he opened the door from across your room, making your laugh. he turns around, shaking his head. 

“no, my room’s all set. thank you though. i’ll see you around?” you bite your lip softly and nod, closing your door. you unpack your box and bag, hanging up your clothes and falling on your bed, pulling a soft throw blanket over your body and took a power nap.

you jolted awake to the sound of knocking on your door. “i’m taking you to dinner, i’ll be back in 30 minutes!” spencer spoke through the door and you smile, rubbing your eyes. you toss the blanket off and brush your hair out, wiping off your smudged make-up and re-applying your mascara. you change into a nicer shirt and jeans, slipping on your converse and playing a game while you waited for spencer. soon he knocked again and you opened your door. “ready?”

“are you really ready for this test tomorrow? because i’ve done the practice problems and got almost all of them wrong” you groan and fall backward against his pillow. spencer smiles, rubbing your legs that were stretched out next to his legs that were criss-crossed. “why am i asking you? you’re a genius with a photographic memory and can read at a light speed. you’re going to graduate and i’m still going to be here, re-taking the test”

spencer pulls your arms, making you sit up and look at him. he holds your chin, smiling at you. “i will not let that happen. you and i will graduate together, we will both get into the fbi super young, and be geniuses forever and have little genius babies!” he smiles then realizes what he says, smile dropping. “n-not together, we wouldn’t have baby geniuses together i-”

“let’s just study, you goon” he laughs softly and takes out your flashcards, one hand holding yours for support while the other holds the index cards. 

“you did it! you got it all right! see, i knew you were a genius!” you giggle, spencer’s fingers running through his hair. “alright, speed round”

you two study for another hour, before you fall asleep against his pillow, and spencer falling asleep on your stomach, the note cards falling out of his hand and scattering all around the floor. 

you and spencer both jolt awake at the sound of his alarm, your hands rubbing your eyes. you pay no attention to spencer sleeping on your stomach, it was actually comfortable. he sits up and sighs, getting up and picking the index cards up. “uh.. s-sorry for sleeping on you last night”

“spencer, it’s okay, i didn’t mind. i liked it” he smiles and nods, heading to the bathroom. 

“oh wait!” he went back over to you and held your hand, opening the door and walking you across the hall. you laugh and shake your head, unlocking your door and holding your arms out. “i just wanted to make sure you got to your dorm safe. i’ll see you in 30″ you nod and he shuts your door. you lock it and take a quick shower, throwing on sweatpants and a bra, realizing you had no clean shirts or sweatshirts. 

“shit!” you bite your lip, grabbing your bag and putting it over your chest, running quickly into spencer’s dorm. 

“woah woah! what are you do- did you run over here in your bra?! do you know how dangerous that is?” you giggle and raid his closet, looking through his hanging clothes. you turn around, spencer gulping as he quickly brings his eyes up, tightening the towel around his waist. 

“do you not own any sweatshirts? do you only wear sweater vests? i gotta take you shopping” you turn back around, looking around his small storage space. he stands behind you, his bare skin touching yours, making your breath hitch in your throat. he opens a drawer, showing a hidden stash of sweatshirts and sweatpants. 

“like a kid in a candy store” he chuckles and you laugh, taking out a plain black sweatshirt and throwing it on, happy and content. 

“how long until we have to take the test?”

“well it’s 7:39 right now and the class doesn’t start until 9:00, so, an hour and 21 minutes. and it takes about 8 minutes to get there”

“okay, great, wake me up in an hour and 5 minutes. i need more sleep” you lay on his bed and wrap your arms around yourself, closing your eyes as your face is towards the wall. spencer quickly gets dressed in jeans and a button up, leaving his sweat vest off. 

while you slept, spencer read a book he grabbed from the library. his finger traveled down the page, comprehending every word. soon his watch sounded his soft beeping, indicating he should wake you up. he closed the book and went over, softly shaking your shoulder. “hey sleepy bones, time to get moving, we have a test to take!” 

--

4 years later, you and spencer stood next to each other, diplomas in one hand as you held each other’s hands with the empty one, standing with your class as you looked at your families. 

you all threw your caps up, catching them and hugging each other. you head down the steps and unzip your gowns, folding them and putting it in the box of your clothes in your trunk. “here, let me get that for you”

your lip quivered a bit, spencer cooing and pulling you into him. his arms wrap around your neck and your arms around his waist, fingers holding his shirt. his hand pets the back of your hair, softly shushing you as you sob. “don’t cry, sweetheart, you’re never gonna lose me” you pull away and look at him, his thumbs wiping your tears. “i’ll come see you the first and last weekend of the month. you’ll never, ever lose me” 

“i’m just scared. i’m going to california and you’re in virginia. we’re on different sides of the country, reid” 

“no no, shh, not a problem, will never be a problem, okay? you’re too rare of a soul for any guy to lose, and i don’t want to be that guy. you will never lose me, dear” you smile and nod, spencer kissing your nose. “you wanna go get coffee before we.. go?” you wipe your cheeks and nod, spencer softly saying okay as you two climb into your cars. 

--

“reid, prentiss, morgan, conference room” aaron said and they all looked at each other confused, heading into the room. they all sit in their spots, rossi and garcia all head into the room as well. 

“what’s this about, hotch? i haven’t even had my morning coffee” derek complained and penelope smiled. 

“my sugar doesn’t get to his happy self until he has that coffee” she pats his shoulder and he smirks, shaking his head. 

“this isn’t about a case, yet. i wanted to inform you all that we’ll be having a new agent joining our team. she’s from the east coast, and we’re lucky to have her. she’s a reid jr” 

heels clicking down the hallway makes everyone perk up, and spencer’s eyes widen. you stop, locking eyes with spencer and your breath hitches in your throat. “spence”

“woah, woah, they know each other” emily smiles, finally happy that spencer has a girl in his life. 

“miss yln” you snap out of it, walking to the front with aaron. “miss yln has her b.a. in psychology and sociology, she studied with our beloved reid” everyone nodded, welcoming you into the BAU. your eyes always found spencer’s though. 

“i think we should step outside and let these two talk” rossi suggets and they all agree, basically running out. the door closes and spencer stands up, walking over to you. 

“hi sweetheart”

“hi reid”

[joe-hardys-cheeseburger]

MY BEST FRIEND NAMES/DESCRIBES ND CHARACTERS

(ABBY SIDERIS) this girl’s name is probably like dorothy or priscilla or something and she looks like a karen in the making idk. why is her nose so tiny compared to the rest of her face,, i dont think she knows how to dress herself and also what is her fringe bc thats kind of tragic. shed probably laugh at me if i fell into a ditch or something 3.5/10

(NICK FALCONE) okay his name is probably tristan or sm. this guy is probably the weird uncle that like comes to every family reunion to mooch off of other people’s money but any other time of the year he’s off the radar n he probably lives in a shed in the middle of nowhere with his dog. he definitely has some kind of junky convenience shop in order to make money but sells like really weird exotic food that no one likes. he probably wears the same shirt for like 3 days straight and then has five other shirts that he wears on rotation 4.26/10

(RED KNOTT) okay anyway this guy looks like a peter and he probably wandered off into the woods or something and now he’s lost and nancy drew has to save him or something idk. he looks like he collects really weird stuff like marbles or thumbtacks or something. he also probably mumbles when he speaks so u have absolutely no idea what hes saying half the time but u dont want him to repeat himself bc u feel bad so u just kind of go with it. he probably offers u candies but they’re old and expired and u have no clue where they came from 7/10

(HENRY BOLET JR) vicky or venula or something that starts with a v and she probably lives in a really old mansion which makes her go kind of senile but she looks like a cat lady and probably screams at you if you try to touch any of her cats. she has all of these weird antiques in her house as well but she never cleans them so they’re covered in dust but when you touch them she also screams at you. she also probably has some kind of thorn garden outside and when you go near it she screams at you. the house she lives in is probably musty and smelly and you’re always coughing up dust 4.99/10 (side note: I told her Henry was a man and she didn’t believe me)

(IZZY ROMERO) WAIT i saw her extremely briefly when u payed the school game but i forget her name i think it was izzy or isabelle or isabella or some kind of variation of that but she looks like a penelope. anywho she’s like the really weird receptionist/librarian or something and she always talks over you when trying to talk to her and she makes these frenzied hand movements when talking. she probably has a really nasal voice and is always cussing you our for something that you didn’t do and always tells you to “keep it down” (if she happens to be a librarian) when ur not even making noise. is also probably just a pain when ur trying to solve the case and always goes on these rambles about her roomate/so/parents/friends/whatever and u rly dont care but whatever 6/10

[normal-thoughts-official]

more malec livewatch, everyone! i decided to start making the posts separately instead of keeping reblogging the same one over and over because i don’t want to drive everyone crazy with that gigantic fucking post. you can read the first ones here and i’ll keep updating the posts to lead to the next ones i guess. also im tagging it malec livewatch for those who want to avoid this nonsense

so let’s brave pre-wedding episode 12 i guess

oh boy.... we’re gonna do it... we’re gonna experience the Maximum Cringe

the special effects are so BAD odaijsdoaj when he summons the wine into Alec’s hand it’s just...... god

“we never finished our conversation” i mean you were the one who finished it magnus so wtf are you going on about

“it’s about family, tradition, honor” yeah we get it zuko boi duoahsiudhdiusa

really tho like he’s so clearly just.... reciting it. taking some shit out off the top of his head about how it’s the right thing and it’s sad tbh

he clearly kinda already has a script too? like “you and I understand marriage very differently” he says it right off the bat, he’s been thinking it over and hghgghgh

magnus goes near alec and alec swallows immediately and magnus ain’t even making a move to touch him yet. just diuahsdah it’s so obvious how hard he’s trying to hold back here

“you’re confusing me” is like the only thing he says the whole scene that sounds genuine

he’s paying so much attention to magnus’ dumb little speech about what love feels like too like. he’s trying to hold back but he’s very clearly pulled in, and i don’t even think it’s by magnus specifically (i mean obviously cuz have you seen him) but because he... kind of wants to hear it, kind of wants magnus to give him some golden argument that will make his whole resolution shatter. except he doesn’t because he doesn’t know what he’ll do then, but he’s still hoping for something and it’s sad

like how magnus clearly pauses like he’s waiting for alec’s reaction too, like. alec makes to leave and magnus doesn’t go after him, but he speaks, and alec stops. only when alec stops he gets closer. only when alec looks at him, clearly waiting to hear more, does he begin to talk again. i dig that even if most of this scene is kinda ugh to me

i hate how he uses his magic tho like what’s the point?? like yes i know that magic “can’t create feelings” but still dauhdsa it kinds feels like he’s cheating or trying to manipulate alec or something and i’m.. not into how the whole thing is done

oof hate how alec says “this is all just a game to you, isn’t it?” like bitch you know damn well it’s not like he’s putting himself at risk and showing you so much vulnerability and i hate how he goes for the whole “oh magnus doesn’t care about anything he’s just a seductive lothario” narrative in here lowkey. like i know he’s just trying to distance himself and he doesn’t fully believe it but... aaaaa i hate it

and he’s so HURT by alec’s words too like the rejection doesn’t hurt him as much as hearing alec say that he just flirts and it means nothing to him does. he’s trying so fucking hard to be open and honest and taking such a RISK (psychological, emotional, even physical) and alec is just throwing all of that bullshit persona he’s actively trying not to hide behind in his face, belittling all his efforts and feelings, and aaa

like again i don’t really blame alec but he truly is so hurt

still wonder what alec was about to say when he turned around to talk to him and magnus wasn’t there anymore tbh like. probably something else to try and distance himself so it’s probably good magnus left and isn’t there to hear it and it kind of forces alec to really think it over to himself instead of trying to argue but...... i do wonder what he was going to say diahsiduahdisah

magnus doesn’t even answer the whole “this means nothing to you” veiled accusation which.... also hurts like idk if he’s trying to avoid a fight or derailing like alec clearly is trying to, or if he just is too tired to have this argument, or if he just doesn’t want to open up this much, but either way he doesn’t acknowledge it except for his hurt look and oof

no one cares about jace and clary talking or whatever’s happening here next

i had never noticed the way magnus winks at clary when he says “oh, it’s happy hour somewhere, my dear” daishdaiuh it’s kinda cute tbh

hodge is so uncomfortable like the way he talks to magnus and gets too close to him... in a way that he doesn’t with anyone else either like he’s clearly just lowkey despising him/getting into his space and magnus notices too and it gives me the heebie jeebies

diuhaiudsahduaishdai magnus’ IMMEDIATE reaction of “why is ragnor fell there, he’s not more powerful than me” asohdaiudha we stan bickering bffs i truly love them so much

“he’s older than you” “certainly not wiser” daiohsahda

i think he might also be lowkey trying to protect ragnor and take the clave’s attention away from him now that i think about it but still i love their bickering

nah that’s cancelled he immediately rats him out on having been jocelyn’s profesor lmaoo

“that’s why he hasn’t been responding to my fire messages” daoihdsaiohads someone needs to lick their wounds

he’s just like “oh ragnor is hiding in his specific safehouse outside of london” like daoiusduaihdasuda love how he just knows that off the top of his head when ragnor clearly didn’t actually tell him about it since he just fucked off and hasn’t been responding

“didn’t know you were here” “that was the point” doaiuhdasiouhdaiuhdas

like i know he’s talking about the marriage but also.... just mood in general tbh

again with the eye flickering. hes looking at magnus, no hes not, yeah he is, haha SIKE, oh there it is again, nope it’s gone..... kinda funny cuz like i know that alec’s eyes flicker a lot in general but afterwards when they are together every time he looks at magnus it’s just so pointed and intense and focused on him so the contrast of watching the s1 scenes and realizing how little his glances at magnus always lasted is... interesting and heartbreaking. like obviously he doesn’t want to be looking at any man for too long, doesn’t want to take that risk, keeps hyper aware of his attraction at all times, but he still can’t help the glances and then when he can look he just does it so unapologetically and intensely and you can tell that it’s just. intimate to him (to both of them really) right then, and wow

i know we talk a lot about alec’s Big Hands but magnus’ hands are so nice too in like a totally different way... anytime he holds anything it just looks like he’s treating it like it’s precious, it’s so delicate and careful and his hands are smooth and pretty and wow i love him so fucking much

wow can’t believe nothing heartbreaking at all happens when they go to ragnor’s house and that ragnor just winks at magnus like “haha yes i am ‘dead’” and magnus is like “yes, this is a lie and a ruse and also a plan. i am perfectly aware that ragnor is not dead at all”

ragnor says “my dear friend, i will always be here for you” with so much honesty and love and ugh i love them like they’re always little bitches to each other but they still have the room to be perfectly loving and honest with each other and i stan

ragnor looks at magnus with so much fucking hurt when magnus says “i prayed she would love me the same” like you can tell it destroys him to even remember it or think about it and aaa

“he was always so much better looking than you” and the way magnus purses his lips in what is clearly a smile like he just knows it’s the teasing and he loves ragnor and their dynamic and i just daouhdsauida also he’s so beautiful boy i die

the way ragnor says “someday, someone will come and will tear down those walls you put around you and around your heart” and magnus looks at him with so much. fucking PAIN in his eyes because someone did but it got nowhere and in the end alec just kind of acknowledged his walls again and went back to pretending that it never happened and that magnus didn’t progress or open up to it at all, that magnus was just lying, that it’s just a game and dauhdaiudha god he’s so HURT

again i owe harry shum jr my entire life like he might be seriously the best actor i’ve ever seen in any show, he’s so damn expressive and talented in every little motion he’s truly a pearl in the desert of shit that is this show

“even in death, you give the best advice” ugh love how this really cements that magnus is used to opening up to ragnor and even with their bickering there’s so much room for them to be emotionally honest like we stan

anyway sure wish this had any emotional continuity whatsoever but at least the cringefest is over. onto an actual good scene fucking finally

love every little detail about this scene as yall probably already know so i’ll try not to point every single one of them out yet again but who knows if i’ll succeed. i bet that i won’t tbh

love the contrast between alec looking so tense when lydia comes down the aisle and she’s like all smiles and shit

she’s before him and he can barely look at her like his eyes flicker a bit between her and the bouquet and he settles on the bouquet this whole thing is so... wrong so clearly, like i could show it to someone who doesn’t know shit about sh and they would be able to tell that nothing fits

even alec’s clothes are weird, like idk i don’t understand fashion but his look looks so disjointed, like the blazer doesn’t really match the pants, the bowtie looks weird and doesn’t match the buttons, and shit and nothing about him looks like it’s in the right place. and everyone else (except maybe izzy who also looks miserable lmao) looks like a perfect picture and he’s just.... idk there’s this aura of wrongness around him that’s subtle but really well done in the terms of costume and shit. the costume department really went off in this whole scene honestly like we stan. possibly the only ones other than the actors who knew what the fuck they were doing lmao

when lydia smiles at izzy and izzy barely moves up the corner of one of her lips dajdasnjdan she looks even more miserable than alec does and god i love the lightwood siblings so much like i truly do. she’s supporting him because she’s decided she’s not going to keep pushing him when it only leads to him not trusting her but she’s all broken that he’s broken, and she was willing to take his place and throw her life away even when that’s everything she’s always tried to avoid, just so he wouldn’t have to do this, and aaaaa

who cares about jace and clary looking at each other @directing team like seriously get over this

he turns in the direction of the silent brother in an almost kind of jerking motion like he completely forgot about where he was supposed to go or something, like again he’s just... not in it

they are holding hands in the WEIRDEST possible way too like there’s so much distance between them it’s almost funny ldaojsja

he tries to smile at lydia when she’s about to put the rune on his arm like he knows she knows that he’s hating this and he’s just bearing it and trying to not make her uncomfortable? like doajdsaoj

the way that magnus INTERRUPTS not just the wedding but also the chorus, you could tell there was a crescendo coming even if you’ve never heard the song, but magnus pushes the doors open and suddenly it stops and there’s this little bit and then the “tututututu” of tension as he comes into view and his steps perfectly match the three little beats that were already there before, but sound so much louder and more prominent like a heartbeat, like before they were muffled and now they’re real??? the poetic cinema bro

ill just never get over the way they used song here it sounds like an AMV like the song isn’t just giving the vibe, they are telling the story THROUGH the song and the whole scene is basically a coreography, and the song is the narrative, and holy shit i love it so much could you imagine if they had used this amount of thought and genius and clever storytelling the whole show?? i’d shit myself

ugh the DRAMA of magnus’ look again i KNOW i’ve been over this again and again and again and again and again and again but i just. i love how they used his makeup & costume to accentuate magnus’ 1- face, 2- eyes, 3- jaw, and 4- adam’s apple. the whole focus is on his face and eyes (which again so expressive we stan harry shum jr in this house), the fact that his eyes are his WARLOCK MARK (yeah they’re not out but like we’re still drawing attention to the part of magnus he tries to hide the most, and the part of him that marks what makes him disdainful to shadowhunters), the fact that his jaw and adam’s apple are so prominent. his whole face looks really sharp and masculine you know?? like the whole focus is on everything about him that’s supposed to be “wrong” and make malec “wrong” but he’s never looked more beautiful (IT’S SUCH AN UNDERRATED LOOK) and they didn’t sacrifice his gnc-ness for it either, on the contrary, they gave his hair the hot pink streak which. INSPIRED WE STAN, and the makeup is very clear (again esp around his eyes) which of course only adds to it because he’s not just a man, he’s a gnc man and that makes it “worse”, but also like, i like how they accentuated his masculinity in alec’s coming out scene, without sacrificing his identity and gender non conformness. again the costume department is the only one who genuinely knew what they were doing 100% of the time i hope they all got big fucking checks

alec just blinks and focuses on him and it’s the first time it looks like he’s really looking at something and i just wow

izzy is so happy to see magnus there :) she loves her brother so much :)

magnus holding up two fingers to get people to shut up... the way he snarls “maryse, this is between me and your son” with so much certainty and like no room for bullshit he’s so good at making shadowhunters too speechless to stop him and honestly im such a whore tbh if he did this to me id just nut on the spot. shut me up daddy. fuck who said that

like how they included the “i’ll leave if he asks me to” and how he really doesn’t say anything, he’s just standing there, like they made sure to make this scene respectful and i was kind of dreading it the first time because i’d HATE it if magnus had outed him or made this whole drama out of it but he didn’t and i like that so so much

“i thought we were doing the right thing, but... this isn’t it” always gets me and i can’t even put my finger on why. it just does like again this is not really about magnus or their relationship, it’s about how he feels about the whole thing, everything that he’s giving up and he barely knows what for anymore, and i justjfianfajf

again the BRILLIANCE of the song usage the way that he’s talking to lydia and the beat is so damn loud and overwhelming and then as soon as he turns to magnus everything just drowns out and there is one (1) piano note and it’s just him and magnus and it’s like everything silences??? he’s just so damn focused and it’s not the nervousness and loudness of everyone else and their whole audience (they don’t even show the audience anymore after alec turns to him for real and before the actual kiss i don’t think) and there’s just that sharp focus and certainty because alec’s made up his mind and there’s no sound anymore like mwaaahhh poetic cinEMA

and it’s just that moment of clarity as they both look at each other and the song begins again with the higher tempo again, but it feels more like, a march? than that overwhelming noise. and of course there’s the singing and it feels like everything has purpose and is just laser focused and it’s still intense but in a completely opposite way, not lost but found and wow im such a whORE for this scene it’s unbelievable

like how alec takes the first step towards magnus after he’s down the stairs exactly as the song goes “want” like mwaahhhhh brilliance amazing talented showstopping spectacular never been done before completely unique,

his “enough” is dajksdfahidasdhadusahuash again im a simple sub id nut

i was right they only really show the audience again after the kiss. except for maryse but even then it’s so quick, we see her going to alec and after alec says “enough” she literally doesn’t show anymore it’s like she’s not even there, she just disappears it’s so sexy we stan??? like again alec’s made up his mind and nothing else is there to stop him wow love that for him could you imagine thinking this man is shy and insecure? can’t relate

THEY ARE SKIGGNISNGG

FOREVER A WHORE FOR THE WAY MAGNUS CHASES AFTER HIM HOLY FUCKING SHIT. THE WAY HE’S SO LOST IN THE KISS, IN THE ELATION, AND HE JUST CAN’T HELP GOING FOR MORE BEFORE HE CAN STOP HIMSELF AND KEEP UP WITH HIS TIGHT COMPOSTURE (because magnus had barely moved once alec had seen him, he just stood there and waited like he was waiting for his cue, he was holding himself perfectly steadily and just had so many walls) LIKE HE JUST CAN’T HELP BUT WANT?? AND GO FOR MORE?? AND THEN HE REALIZES ALEC IS PULLING AWAY AND HE LOOKS AT HIM FOR A SECOND (and his eyes look so DIFFERENT, not like there’s a wall there, he looks relieved and happy and even kind of dazed and i just wow the difference is SO clear) AND ALEC LOOKS AT HIM AND HE TAKES JUST A FRACTION OF A SECOND BEFORE HE LEANS IN AGAIN, AND IT’S THE FIRST TIME THAT MAGNUS HAS ASKED FOR MORE AND ALEC’S GIVEN IT, BECAUSE ALEC HAS BEEN GIVING HIM SOME OPENINGS BUT EVERY TIME MAGNUS WANTED MORE HE TURNED AWAY, BUT THIS TIME HE FUCKING GIVES MAGNUS WHAT HE’S SILENTLY ASKING FOR, HE’S CHOOSING HIM FULLY AND NOT JUST ENOUGH FOR THEM TO BE ABLE TO BE TOGETHER, HE’S CHOOSING TO GO ALL IN AND KISS MAGNUS UNTIL HE’S SATISFIED AND HOLY SHIT THE POETIC CINEMA!! THE TALENT!!! THE BRILLIANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SHADOWHUNTERS CREW FOR PUTTING UP YOUR FIVE TOTAL BRAINCELLS TOGETHER TO MAKE THIS FANTASTIC THING HAPPEN HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS SCENE IS EVERYTHING TO ME 

a bitch needs to lie down i think that’s all for today

next part

[she-toadmask]

I’m kind of in a mood suddenly so below the cut there will be me just talking about fanfics I have read or am reading and why I like fanfic and stuff because I need to just

Fanfiction fucking rocks the basic part before all the stuff about it as the story just...it’s so easy to access and there’s so much and it’s just all there on the internet I don’t have to find a physical book

And on AO3 (where 90% of good currently-updating fic is afaik) there is TAGGING where you will know what you’re getting into (unless the author suddenly adds a sex scene and only then updates the tags but at least they give a warning at the start of the chapter but it doesn’t bother me as much as it did a couple years ago as long as I know it’s coming I know it’s a tool and it has its uses) with character drama and deaths and all that jazz not to mention how Ash being a badass has a specific tag and just other random things having tags that are important parts of the story

Like there are multiple fics I have found (not all of them are living fics sadly) of writing Ash’s journey in the beginning differently, like there was one I saw once that I kind of forgot to keep reading where he went to Sinnoh (and was still rivals with Paul and I think their ship tag was there?) and it said it was following game plot and then there’s one that I definitely don’t have open anymore because it didn’t update for some amount of time where he had a Joltik and then a Ferroseed and it’s really cool and a different one that’s still living and it’s called Pity of the World and Jesse + James (who is genderfluid in this fic) + Meowth are good people and stuff and just steal abused Pokemon and they run into Ash and they all end up being travel buddies and Ash understands Pokemon (not literally of course that’s not this fic) and also just knows what James’ gender is before they say anything and also in one chapter Zapdos is in Gringy City and says something about friendship being for mortals or something??? idk we’ll see and then there’s a different fic that I was reading and lost when switching devices and Ash was raised by Pokemon and literally can speak Pokemon and it was really neat but I haven’t tried to find where I left off because I’m too lazy for that tbh but it is still updating it’s Symbiosis or Symbiotic or something like that

Most things involving Ash that aren’t shippy or weird like that (ok there are some I’m not interested in but whapdfajaldjakjdf) end up being really cool because he’s a fucking legendary magnet which can either be played for laughs or deadly serious or just not be part of the fic if it isn’t relevant and so many fics use Aura it’s really cool (including Pity of the World I think he mega evolves Pidgeot (who evolves before leaving) when he fights Sabrina who does not have a doll in this fic) and there are different ways they do it and the thing I was mentioning about his connection with Pokemon like maybe it’s just a bit more than normal or it’s just yes he is everything and I kinda skipped out on gens 6 and 7 of the anime but I get enough to understand what they mean in chat fics and when referring to it in other fics it’s really cool

I think I mentioned Creepypasta and how there were two Harry Potter Creepypasta fics, one that was one and was slow to update if it wasn’t dead and one that was on the fourth one actually I was wrong about what number it was I think and updates every two weeks the first one is more lighthearted/written by a younger person like Slendy is a character and Harry x a lot of the ‘pastas I guess and it takes place starting before 4th year and the beginning is kinda meh with some weird dialogue and absurd levels of Dumbledore Ron and Hermione bashing but it does call out some of the other legitimate problems like how the lake trial in the tournament just kidnaps people which is very big because it was Ben who was kidnapped so big yikes there and honestly it’s not what you want to read if you want something really high-quality and serious like not that it doesn’t take itself seriously but it feels closer to something I would have read when I was in middle school than most of the Sanders Sides fics I read (just using that as comparison because the vast majority of that is well-written stuff). Then the other one!!!! For one it has a much more realistic/developed take on the Creepypastas’ existence like how the stories are how they exist with Slenderman being a cosmic horror being thing more than a character with character which is always really cool and Jeff kidnaps Harry as a baby (he is Boy when he is with the Creepypasta and Harry when at Hogwarts and there’s some really cool stuff about how they’re different) and, having lived with murderers, Harry gives zero fucks about things and kills Fluffy in the first book long before other stuff happens, Quirrel tries to use him to get the stone but gets annihilated at the mirror because family and then Voldemort is just a giant white snake for the rest of the series so far and also because he sucks Lockhart tries to exorcise Harry because Harry is fucking nuts and it’s great and also Harry is a Hufflepuff and there is probably more Gryffindor bashing than is necessary and pretty much all the adults get bashed for sucking (like in book 3 the boggart stuff is called out for being hella dangerous for them also Harry can’t cast the Patronus charm make of that what you will idk what) though Harry does make for quite the conversation topic among the teachers, Harry x Neville is the main ship and Neville eventually gets resorted into Hufflepuff because the Gryffindors are being massive dicks to him, also Harry flirts with Draco because Harry gives no fucks and it’s great (also both books give Luna lots of love, like the young one she’s a Seer like from Madame Macabre’s old webcomic that’s dead as it gets and the long one she’s just a good character and shit) and Harry makes these books to spread Slenderman’s legend throughout Britain/the Wizarding World and Draco may have gotten one and survived???? but now Neville has one during the summer months (and also through feeding Fanged Geraniums or whatever live stuff and blood instead of bonemeal he is creating Audrey II and straight-up says something about having to call it Harry Jr. but that’s probably just a little joke and isn’t going to stay beyond this but it’s just fun because Little Shop of Horrors slaps) and I have big fear about him doing the stuff and getting hurt and Harry/Boy conflict will be scary

There’s this other fic I found when trying to find good fics involving Ash and it’s kinda weird and seems to be written by a younger author but we’ll see where things go, like Harry got transported by Celebi to the world of Pokemon and Giovanni is Silver and Ash’s dad and they live with him and also Harry does too and he’s in a wheelchair and also is really smart and I wish we had gotten to spend a bit longer seeing their dynamics before when Harry is 14 the Goblet of Fire somehow spits his name out and Celebi helps with getting Harry (and also the other three because of course) safely there without dying because dimensional travel is hard and Celebi is friend and Luna gets to be important here too I think she’s shown up as a named student and guided them to a room and seems to know things about the castle and that’s kinda all there is so far there’s a bit more but it’s not got a lot yet I hope the author keeps going it’s a weird idea but I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes

Oh I forgot to talk about it but there’s this whump Ash fic that was being written under one title but it got dropped and now it’s being rewritten with the same concept but under a new title and going about a lot of things a different way it’s just the same starting premise and the fic is Helpless and Ash almost dies multiple times and there’s this theme of adults failing him and also Gary fucks a thing up and Ash needs support and therapy (a good number of fics have Ash needing therapy but given the shit he’s been through that is not surprising especially from my limited knowledge of Kalos holy shit Lysandre was doing some mad shit) and it’s just good but it is a lot of hospital and Ash being hurt and almost dying so be warned if that isn’t a safe read for you

The reason I don’t just outright block explicit anymore despite the horrors of trying to find safe Pokemon fic on AO3 amidst the consensual porn, incest porn, pokephilia porn, etc., is I randomly decided to try and find some Sonic fanfic on AO3 because a couple people on YouTube have been doing Sonic story stuff (Sonic What If has some good stuff that’s just... what-if scenarios and then there’s Sonic Rewritten which takes a game’s plot and then redoes it but good like the Deadly Six having personalities or Sonic 06 not having maybe bestiality or Generations being more than ‘oh past and present stages now have nostalgia’ and Robotnik and Eggman are significantly different people in that one and it’s really cool) and I thought maybe I would find some good stuff on AO3 (which I have but nothing that I want to ramble about specifically though there was one fic where Eggman does Tails clone and then his original body dies so he’s stuck looking like Tails and it’s kinda wild) and I found a fic that was marked explicit because torture and violence (honestly it wasn’t that bad) and I like it and don’t want to miss something that I might like by accidentally blocking it and now when I try to find Pokemon fic I have to see Leon x Hop and Pokemon x human smut.

There’s one Sanders Sides fic that I was reading and I don’t remember the name nor do I know if it’s updating I think I lost it but it started from the beginning of the series with the Dark Sides being a platonic poly family and when they weren’t in the episode they were talking about it/the Light Sides and it’s honestly really really good and the author just decided to have Deceit’s name be Janus and it was amazing when it turned out that was his real name it was just great but IDK if the fic has been abandoned, I think I lost it in the shift, but it was really good (but sympathetic dark sides and unsympathetic patton and roman and logan for a bit so do be warned if those aren’t comfortable for you)

Oh yeah I remembered another fic I can talk about there was this one Creepypasta fic and it’s completed and it is a Jeff x Reader but it kind of just stops being about the romance after a certain point and just goes way off the rails. It starts like ‘oh this will be a normal x reader with mansion and Slendy is dad and Zalgo is probably evil’ and then NOPE SLENDERMAN HAS BEEN RAISING FAMILIES THAT LOVE HIM TO TURN THEM INTO CRYSTALS TO MAKE HIM MORE POWERFUL AND ZALGO IS AGAINST THAT and it just is great like I never see Zalgo being good, like Slenderman being evil or whatever is plenty common (especially in the innumerable ARG fics I don’t read because I don’t have the attention span to learn what the fuck the source is) but never in tandem with Zalgo being anything but chaotic evil n shit it’s wild and it’s great and also Slenderman’s parents have faces I guess idk that was weird also there is one smut chapter but like the author said you can skip the smut and I did and didn’t feel like I missed any plot stuff so if that’s a no for you just keep an eye out for the author’s warning. It is by a younger writer, as demonstrated by its daily updates while it was being written, tiny chapters, and some general writing style stuff common to younger writers, but honestly I just love it for being something so wildly different, under the guise of a typical x Reader fic.

Speaking of ship stuff and Creepypasta the trilogy of Sans x Creepypasta fics are amazing. The writer definitely improves over time, the beginning of the first book kind of has the weird ‘then I knew I was in love’ stuff from a couple of the pastas (then again I’m ace and demiro so starting romance is just generally weird) but it is just a really good series. Sans ends up with seven kids in the third book and, while everyone else in the Undertale cast is bashed in the first two, Papyrus does seem to get some redemption in the third, so there is that. Also Murderer Sans is a fantastic tag, Gaster made a deal with Zalgo to create the skelebros and Sans is more demon than Papyrus by a lot and Zalgo is trying to kidnap Sans and Sans’ children so he has his family together to destroy the world and wander free and it’s wild and also Chara and Flowey show up and also LJ being an angel is mentioned and relevant to the plot for a bit so that’s neat and I don’t know all the details of how it ends because I lost it when I shifted and didn’t want to find where I was but it’s a great fic (albeit with a few things I can argue on) and the author has also been writing other Sans x Creepypasta stuff but I haven’t read it because idk

I really wish I had a good Minecraft fanfic to gush about but I really don’t it’s hard to find Minecraft fic that isn’t tuber-based, either Dream and friends (which occasionally I find a good one but so much is either Dream SMP which I have no interest in getting into, involves people I don’t know from Dream SMP, or just is shippy or straight-up doesn’t have a premise I’m interested in) or Hermitcraft (I fell behind so I have no idea what’s happening anymore) (but also like Mianite and Aphmau stuff but not as much as used to, but now Dream rules all so), and it just sucks. Like if some of it was Team Crafted fic I would be on board like hell yeah give me that nostalgia juice but it’s so much shit I just don’t know. I love the idea of Minecraft fanfic because there are so many options for the world and you can either make your own characters and you probably have to but then there’s just if you use Steve Alex Herobrine or Notch how they are written depends on the author and I live for that shit it’s a big part of why I read Creepypasta fic it’s because I like when there are different ways characters can be done (not unsympathetic or sympathetic like Patton so much like straight-up different characters) like Herobrine and Notch are the big ones like good vs evil, involved vs not, serious vs comedic, there are so many different ways to play them and I’m so disappointed AO3 doesn’t have much of it and so much of it is just Dream stuff and it usually just isn’t what I’m after in a fic.

The only other fics coming to mind right now are two wildly different fics involving Springtrap x Reader, one of them is being transferred from Wattpad for copy reasons, complete with tiny-ass chapters and that language that’s just so middle-school in the best way possible (like William and Springtrap are different consciousnesses and they way the author describes their struggle at one point is just so similar to a stupid thing I did and I have so much affection for it) and the other is legitimately really really good and the reader-insert has recently found out that Springtrap is William Afton and has murdered many children and they are currently dying multiple times to help his victims pass on because they can see ghosts and it’s actually really good and I have no idea where things are going, reader has currently met up with Michael Afton, currently all purple and dead and stuff, and has learned about remnant (weird-ass shit from modern FNAF lore) and it’s getting wild. I feel like there are two types of FNAF fic, ones in the style of FNAF 3/4 and earlier and ones from maybe 4 onward. Like ones where the lore was basically ‘bad man committed murder against children and they’re possessing the animatronics and that’s why they’re trying to kill you’ and then 4 starts having some more expansive lore ish and then after that it just goes everywhere with remnant and scooping and even more locations and also the books matter probably??? There is this one fic involving Glitchtrap that hasn’t updated in a bit and it’s fun, I like the idea of Glitchtrap and really wish I could read more fic just centered around FNAF VR. Then again, BEN was always one of my favorites and after I stopped being absolutely terrified of Herobrine I really liked his possibilities, maybe I just like the story utility and possible execution of characters with wide-ranging powers over technology and affecting the real world outside of it, IDK.

Ok I’m out of ramble energy, and also topics unless I go more in-depth about specific character options, but my energy is gone so I think that’s the end of it. I typed 3,000 words about fanfictions I’m reading and probably could have talked more about some of them if I wanted. This is my new hyperfixation. I guess. At least I know I have one, it’s reassuring to know for some reason, like for a while I missed how much Pokemon was my life in elementary school and Minecraft was in sixth grade, like it was nice just having something to focus on, though maybe that’s just the college and depression talking.

That was good, I’m glad I did that. Y’all are loved.

If you seriously read this entire thing... Wow. I really appreciate you digitally listening to me talking about random fanfic shit that I like. You’re really really cool.

[whenallelsefails-eatpie]

Finally Answering Questions for y’all

Q1: How tall or short do you wish you were?

I used to wish I was taller because I already am tall for an (AGAB)female (5′8 1/2) but then I learned about platforms so. 

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

Monkey Ball or Sonic Adventure Escape the City...I only had a Gamecube.

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

Warning: Uses humor as a defense mechanism but will quickly become extremely invested in you  and give you immense amounts of unending love if they vibe w you

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

Melancholic

9: Are you ticklish?

extremely, on my back and sides (use this information wisely. I take no responsibility for involuntarily punching anyone who tickles me)

10: Are you allergic to anything?

absolutely nothing, allergies are to weed out the weak. (jkjk no eugenics here sis you slay that epipen)

11: What’s your sexuality?

~ pansexual  ~ (prefer agab [not cis, those are two different things] females)

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?

tea, then coffee with cocoa. I don’t enjoy cocoa or coffee as much separately.

37: What is your eye color?

hazel/green 

38: Introvert or extrovert?

I’m ambiverted but lean toward introversion. 

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?

oh yeah absolutely, I personally just prefer that the tattoos aren’t on your face.  Or with piercings that they don’t take up so much of your face that I can’t see what you really look like.

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?

pink, red, or platinum 56: Something that calms you down?

reading, playing instruments, taking a bath, cooking or baking

57: Have any mental disorders?

yessir. ADD, anxiety. and I used to have really bad depression. Now my depression is simply manageable lol. 

73: What is your MBTI type?

INFP (enneagram 4)

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?

surprisingly yes, will I come close to passing out? Maybe. But I can.

87: Do your socks always match?

never, I hate matching my socks unless the socks are funky and need to match to give them the biggest bang for their buck. 

92: A store you hate?

Dick’s sporting goods. I have been dragged around that place for hours and absolutely nothing there interests me. (edit: I found a beanie that I liked but my previous opinion still stands)

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

start counting and never stop. If you mean in terms of actual measurements like cups/ounces, I can drink 20. What can I say I’m from New England.

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

Definitely fly because that might help lessen my fear of heights

95: Do you like to wear camo?

literally shoot me if you ever see me wearing camo. please, I beg you. that will be me at my lowest point 

96: Winter or summer?

Autumn. Next question.

97: How long can you hold your breath for?

3-4 minutes. It’s all that breath control from musical theatre.

99: Someone you look up to:

Jughead Jones. Yes I said that, fight me. He is completely himself and he allows the different facets of his personality to shine through to people that he loves and cares about. He is loyal and caring but also unique and resilient. Plus his fave food is burgers which is an instant win for me.

100: A store you love?

Hot Topic, Barnes and Nobles, Savers or any thriftstore 

102: Where do you live?

New England bb (; gettin that dark academia aesthetic straight from the source

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?

Amber

105: Do you drink milk?

You mean out of the glass? Like a psychopath? Like a serial killer? Absolutely not

106: Do you like bugs?

I do! Except for spiders and mosquitoes (although I’m warming up to spiders)

109: Can you draw:

Eh yeah ig, well enough. I draw realistically but I’m not great at animated style. 

111: A question you hate being asked?

“Are you a boy or a girl?” (like why? does it personally affect you? are you planning on boning me? if not then buzz off)

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?

Yes, but only at night when the beach is quiet. I’m not a huge fan of the beach during the day

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?

Rainy or sunny. Don’t go givin me the clouds with none of the drizzle.

119: Favorite thing about a person: 

Personality first and foremost. Humor and kindness. But physically; their smile and mannerisms. 

120: Fruits or vegetables?

Veggies (or berries i like berries)

121: Something you want to do right now:

Run away... ahah. But in all honesty I would love to go mushroom foraging rn, or possibly go on an adventure. Maybe go put on clothing meant for an entirely different time period and run around Target idk.

123: Sweet or sour foods?

Definitely not sour I hate sour. Spoonfeed me wasabi, that I can handle. But if you make me eat a Warheads I will cry. 

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?

I personally have a lot of problems with the funeral industry, so I would rather not take up space and rot preservation chemicals into the earth. But if I had an interim tombstone with no body underneath, it would read “Live Laugh Love” bc ~irony~

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?

that I’m very individualistic and stubborn

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

Yes absolutely, that’s what they’re there for.

134: Do you like roller coasters?

Do I like feeling like I’m about to full send through the crust of the earth and die? No. No I do not. (I am a simple person, I go to carnivals for the food and to feed off terror.) 139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

Cookie

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

OH YEAH absolutely, I am a repressed gen z homosexual raised in a homophobic religious atmosphere, I am practically born with a therapist assigned to me.

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

Definitely good -_- unfortunately. Catch me bein the mom friend.

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?

I prefer giving, but I am learning how to recieve. 

144: What makes you angry

People who live their lives in willful ignorance despite the endless resources available to them and let that ignorance hurt others.

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

All of em. Gimme em all. I don’t like boys as much currently but I would still probably lay my life on the line for some. 

147: Are you androgynous?

Yes. It’s more fluid than it is being in consistent limbo between masc and femme. Usually I’m androgynous but I often swing wildly between both ends of that socially perceived spectrum. 148: Favorite thing about yourself physically?

My hands or smile(product of bracesTM). But I have been told I have nice hands. 

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

I am a very strong blend of wise and class clown. I can do em both, I can do em well, and I can do em whenever. I also care a lot about others but I don’t change myself to be accepted by them. 

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

MLK Jr. --> I want to gain perspective on some of the current global issues. Jesus --> I’ve got a lot of questions for that dude. JRR Tolkien bc he’s incredible or Joan of Arc for the same reason

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

Ooh well, as a woman not many eras are desirable. But um probably either the 70s or Ancient Greece

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

YES. GIMME UR FINGERS > i meant that to sound much less threatening than it did but my statement still stands. 155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?

Yes it’s literally one of my favorite things to do. I hab empty lap. *pat pat* U may lay your head on it and watch Rilakkuma and Kaoru with me while I play with your hair. pls. 157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

Women..... That’s it. That’s the tweet.

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:

That I am not a member of the alphabet mafia. (It’s not currently safe for me to come out) Now tell me *shines light in your face* who are your contacts?

164: Do you have long or short hair?

I have medium hair. It’s around the length of a bisexual bob or a good mullet. 

165: Shortest/Longest your hair has ever been:

Shortest was a pixie cut, almost buzzed, amazing. Longest was to my butt and was literally the worst experience in existence. I shall to this day actively rebel against having hair like that again. 

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religion?

Organized religion can suck it. You can’t organize your relationship with God, nor can you stick it into a little manmade box and pretend that you have the ability to create a perfect faith which others have to either follow or perish. It’s arrogant and damaging and hurtful and not at all what Christianity is supposed to mean. 

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

I do. I think it’s important and something we need to think about. I do believe there is something after death, and I like to believe that my life has meaning. I think that questions of creation are important questions to ask and we can’t just ignore them.

168: Do you like to wear makeup?

Yes! It’s fun! Pretty colors!

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

Absolutely. And the ones I didn’t feel like answering I simply omitted.

[phoebehalliwell]

What do you think about Wyatt or the Elders somehow bequeathing Excalibur to Henry? Like I know Wyatt’s the Chosen OneTM but like (he very op) and I think it would be cool for Henry to be able to be like ‘Yeah I’m not magical but at least I’ve got this sword’ and think of the meme potential… Paige: what do you have? Henry Jr: Excalibur! >:D Paige: Noooooo

lmao read this as henry mitchell sr instead of jr the first time around but still included henry jr inheriting the sword from his dad so just consider this a very long backstory : )

honestly this would be soo good in canon bc like At Some Point in i think comics canon the elders do absolve wyatt of all destinies Meaning he is no longer tied to excalibur Meaning someone’s gonna have to go down there and tell piper she’s the lady of the lake again. and piper’s like So Not Game and she’s like no. absogoddamnlutely not. and the elders are just like i don’t know how to tell you this but it’s gotta be absogoddamnlutely yes. and so piper like barters with them and they’re like you’re not allowed to barter with destiny and she’s just like yes i am i’ve done it before and i’ll do it again if king arthur wants to come get this goddamn sword he’s gonna have to do it himself I Will Not Host Another Line full of everyone and their goddamn cousin in my attic this stays our secret. and the elders are like but- and piper’s like no if it’s fate the sword will find it’s rightful owner then it’s fate the sword will find it’s rightful owner. and the elders are like b- and piper’s like and if the word gets out excalibur is up for grabs in the halliwell manor i Will orb that thing into the nearest volcano and the elders definitely know she’s not bluffing so they’re just gonna have to let fate run it’s course.

and let’s say one day henry’s taking care of the twins and paige is out power of three-ing but then idk something happens the twins are hungry or kat bonked her head or something some reason henry might need paige and he’s like honey!!! hey can you come over here for like a couple seconds- and then is orbed into the attic where the sisters are working on some potion and paige is like yeah what’s up and henry’s like here’s a baby i don’t know like tamora’s really hungry or please heal kat’s head and so like paige takes a quick break and henry’s looking around the attic because well he hadn’t really been in there before. (with phoebe moved out i think paige would definitely also have that on her mind i think she probably moved in with henry after the wedding but like i would say like you know maybe two weeks before he even proposed paige was still spending a lot of nights there so much so that when she officially moved in with him a third of her stuff was already there. and then you know they started house hunter blah blah blah i have a Very specific vision of the layout of paige and henry’s apartment but the point i’m getting at is paige would go to the manor for witch stuff and henry would stay at home or be at work he’d never actually Seen the manor.) and he’s looking around like huh wow what’s this what’s that oh there’s the book paige’s paintings are in there and phoebe’s like paige. and paige just holds out one hand and phoebe pricks it with an athame and collects the blood drop to throw it in the potion and henry’s like what the fuck and he’s looking around and he’s like woah you guys have a sword in the stone? and piper’s like we have The sword in the stone. and phoebe’s like yeah piper’s the lady in the lake : ) and piper’s like yeah the world’s shittiest job don’t touch that! and henry’s like whoops sorry yeah but his finger still brushes the hilt and there’s a small breeze and a flash of sunlight through the window and henry’s looking at piper and phoebe like did i just fuck up and piper and phoebe are looking at paige like did you marry king arthur and and paige looks up like woah the vibe just changed did i miss something? and piper’s like henry? will you touch the sword again? and paige is like I Missed Something and so like henry lightly places a finger on the hilt and sunlight starts streaming in and a wind kicks up out of nowhere and henry’s like is it supposed to be doing this?? and phoebe’s like i thought the wielder had to be magical and piper’s like don’t ask me they didn’t leave me a frickin instruction manual on it and paige is like arthur doesn’t have magic in the legend and henry’s like woah wait Arthur???? and paige just sorta looks at him and flicks up her eyebrows and henry tries to pulls the sword out of the stone and bam baby that’s the once and future king and piper’s like god it’s about time i’ve been waiting to get that damn thing out of this attic and henry’s like what. does this mean? and piper’s like if a smooth talking brunet show up don’t trust him and uhh good luck! and henry’s looking at paige like what do i do and paige is like idk bro and piper finishes the potion like okay let’s rock n roll and paige is like sorry babe i have to go i love you uhh here’s the baby and she hands henry a twin and waves her hand and the sword orbs out of it and she’s like i put that on the dresser in our bedroom and i love you and we’ll talking about this later and henry’s like .. uh yeah cool love you too and paige sends him and the twins home and the first thing henry does when he gets home is google sword fighting lessons.

so henry starts training in sword fighting i think coop and leo definitely think this whole thing is like sick as fuck and henry’s like yeah lmao any idea what i’m supposed to do with this and leo’s like no that’s way before my time and they look at coop and coop’s like how old do you think i am?? and leo knows there are some books on arthurian mythology so he gives them to henry but also he’s a little intrigued so he starts reading them too but then coop also wants in so now the trophy husbands have a little book club going and they all meet at the manor and eat piper’s cooking and talk about henry and the sword and then it always devolves into them just shootin the shit but like (and henry would never say this out loud) it really means So Much to henry because he’s always felt just a little bit like the odd man out because he’s not magical and he knows that he’s a lot weaker than everyone else in the family but with the whole sword fighting and the king arthur stuff he can sorta shed those doubts because he feels like he’s no longer viewed as the soft weak spot (which to be fair no one ever viewed him like that but uhh a man’s got his insecurities y’know) and then everything Really comes to a head when they’re putting the twins to sleep and paige gets a sudden distress call from her charge and orbs out and then henry’s spider sense tingles and her turns around to find some masked demon about to hit him with an energy ball and he just instinctively moves for a block and finds excalibur somehow already in his hand and the demon’s super caught off guard by that that it doesn’t even have time to react before henry stabs it. and then paige immediately orbs home like henry it’s a trap we have to why are you holding excalibur and henry’s like i think i just vanquished my first demon and paige follows his eyes to the still smoking scorch marks on the carpet and she’s like !!!!

oh and henry definitely uses this like a party trick at the next charmed husbands book club meeting like guys guys check it out and excalibur appears in his hand and piper’s like no weaponry it the kitchen! and they’e like sorry!!! but those dudes are definitely geeking out about it and then later in the timeline i think henry would most definitely teach henry jr how to sword fight and maybe pass down the sword to him so henry jr can get sorta that same “fitting in” feeling around all his magical relatives like you know maybe the real confidence we gained was the sick sword fighting moves we learned along the way type of mood.

[bekahdoesnerdshit]

ask Two for the angst ones this time: 13 for raini, 5 (possibly will be pertinent come the end of this minicampaign) & 29 (she literally has Any Weapon w/ her pact so it's fititng) for ayen, 7 & 10 (hehe I know there's trauma in this one) for cog, and then mix and match 4, 17, 18 between Caspian, Ryker, and Brilliance bc I don't know them as well and I would Like To

My life is just below readmores now, I guess. Will I ever learn to shut the fuck up? No! And that is a promise 

Raini

13. What does it take to make your character cry? Oh boy. Raini definitely isn’t a big crier, because she a) doesn’t really let herself get to that point and b) hard pivots into “angry” over “upset” and she isn’t an angry crier. She’s cried twice in game so far, and probably not many times before that. In both in game cases -and likely the always alluded to but never seen “before times”- the catalyst for her crying was being overwhelmed. In a good way, bad way, whatever, but that’s the trigger. Just- Looking at something, not knowing what else to do but let yourself cry about it, and not seeing any reason to stop yourself.  (shfjsdjkfh the funny answer is: during sex. But can you IMAGINE jskdfskjdf)

Ayen

5. Would they ever turn on someone they just met in order to save themselves? Oh for sure. Without question. Not without guilt, in fairness, but without question. She’s pretty well adjusted, pretty “go with the flow”, but she did grow up in a pretty cutthroat world. She was spared from having to make those kinds of brutal decisions from a super young age by Shadow Mom, but she definitely saw the fallout of those choices and learned that, while it’s all well and good to do the “right” thing, it’s much more important to do the right thing for you. If that means condemning some stranger to die so you and yours don’t have to? So be it. Better people have done worse, because that’s sometimes just how things go.  I’ll be honest! This character decision was a completely on the fly one when we were having that debate in the library about what we should do with the information we learned in the library. But I stand by it. In character, Ayen 1000% sees whatever’s going on as Not Her Business. It’s fucked up, sure! But, you know. Not her monkeys, not her circus.  29. What is their weapon of choice, and what weapon do they dislike using the most? Bro I love that Ayen doesn’t have A Specific Weapon SO much. Especially because Pact of the Blade specifically makes it so that, whatever weapon she summons, she’s proficient in while wielding it. So she sees somebody using a weapon, goes “oh! cool!” and summons it herself, and then just. Intuitively knows how to use is. How fucking funny is that conceptually??  Her go to if things are serious or she doesn’t have time to pick something obscure is a longsword. Dad uses a greatsword, and a longsword is pretty close to that! Image how cool they looked fighting off assholes, back to back, with two bigass swords? Is that the only reason it’s her favorite? No of course not!!!! That would- that would be silly. And childish. Swords are just cool is all.  She hasn’t used any in game, but I think she honestly just doesn’t like any kind of polearm. It’s like, is it technically safer to be a little further from your enemy? Sure. Does it give you a small tactical advantage? Maybe so. But they’re so uglyyyy and they look weird and you have to use both hands and the balance is weird and >:( Spears can stay because you can throw them but you’re on thin fucking ice.

Cog

7. If your character was allowed to murder one person without any consequences, who would it be and why? Thank GOD Alex I wanted this one for Cog SO bad!!! Valentine WastelandGame! If you can read this! You’re a dead motherfucker!! This is for a variety of reasons including but not limited to: - Is responsible for the deaths of at least 3 separate world leaders! Uh oh!  - Asked for my blood one time! To do Science on! Not cool! - Ace doesn’t like him. Enough said.  - Called Ace “hotheaded” and “brutish” keep his NAME out of your MOUTH - Is fucking Maelo’s ex I think? Honestly I lost that plot on that one a little bit - Keeps taking Sunny on dates! We’re protective and Jealous?? Hard to say! We don’t have time to unpack this one let’s keep moving - Is convinced aliens exist? And are coming to attack the world? OKAY  - Talks in fucking circles about philosophy and the greater meaning of “good” and “evil” in the context of the world. Like, no sir! Good is when you help people and evil is when you kill them! Except unless it’s me killing you which is going to happen because I can cast Finger of Death now and you better believe that spell has your fucking name on it. Freak boy. - Just like. Eats straight raw steak. Not Evil but really weird and probably not great for you? - Overall just a very bad slimy manipulative and stinky dude. 0/10 I’m gonna put an arcane bullet in his skull. Like. Everything Valentine does, everything she learns about him, convinces Cog more and more that the world would be a better, safer place if he wasn’t allowed to exist in it anymore. She was kinda neutral on the guy until he gave his grand speech in Cormir about how the only way to save the world is to ‘conquer and subdue it’ and tried to talk her in circles enough that she had to agree with him or seem like a hypocrite. Since then, it’s been a slow creep from “I don’t trust this man and don’t want to work with him again, even if it makes our lives harder” to “he’s dangerous and needs to be stopped” to “...if given the opportunity, I would kill him myself”. And now that she has our new friend the Shadow Demon whispering in her ear, telling her that “the world will tremble and change before her” and that she should “stride boldly, and fear not the consequences that may follow” honestly? The next time we see Valentine, he might be in trouble!  10. What were the character’s parents like? What was the affect the parents had on the character? Oh, is there trauma in this one? Is there? Alex? Is there? Maybe so!! We’re gonna talk about Cog’s dad first, because he’s a) still alive and b) I KNOW you’re fishing for more mom angst. Cog’s dad name is Conrad Grace! He’s the head of Lafaroh’s town guard, whatever that means for a town of maybe a hundred people. I feel like his day to day really consists more of making rounds to check on people than dealing with criminals, although he likely has to break up the occasional disagreement or toss somebody in the drunk tank for the night. He’s also in charge of making sure the Guardians -the gods that live deep in the swamp outside Lafaroh and protect the town in exchange for food, building supplies, the occasional corpse, and other resources- get their offerings (This is Important, because he does Stop doing that soon). He married into he Grace family (that’s RIGHT he took his wife’s last name because it’s 2021 and he’s Woke not because her family like runs the town okay moving on), initially because I genuinely believe he fell in love! They were probably pretty young, because Lafaroh is very much a Deep South Swamp Town Analogue, but I don’t think it was just a social power move. The most important Conrad fact? He told Cog that he became disillusioned with the Church when she left home, because he couldn’t imagine continuing to support something he could now see had so clearly been hurting her. And I, Rebekah, a homosexual who has had Words with my Christian parents about the way their religion has hurt me? OH buddy we were a little bit of a mess about it. DM Ryan! Don’t you know I’m projecting!! Please be more careful! (Editor’s Note: This is the moment that made me realize I was projecting. Whoopso!!) Cog’s mom name is Charlotte Grace Sr. because, I guess, we’re freaks. I hate that this makes Cog technically a junior because the thought of anyone calling her Charlotte Jr. makes me break out in hives, but it is, technically, correct. The distinction while Cog was growing up was, instead, “Charlotte” and “Charlotte Olivia” because, again, we’re southern as hell. Charlotte Sr. is, unsurprisingly, the head of Lafaroh’s church, which means she very much has more actual power than her husband does. She did love Cog, I think, but in a way that very much more felt like someone guarding an investment than raising a child, especially when Cog became a teenager. She had high, exacting expectations, and grew more distant from Cog the older she got. Whether this was an unintentional side-effect of Charlotte Sr. becoming more engrossed in the preparations necessary to allow Cog to become the “Conduit”, or whether it was a purposeful decision because she knew she would lose her daughter and wanted the sacrifice to hurt less is unclear. Cog’s dad is kinda just a dude, but we KNOW this bitch has mommy issues. I also think an important distinction to draw between the two is that while I’m willing to give Conrad the benefit of the doubt and say that he may have just wanted Cog to stay in Lafaroh when they party returned because he was worried about his daughter and wanted her home, Charlotte Sr. wanted Cog there because it was Where She Was Supposed To Be, because she had a destiny to fulfill. More than that, when Charlotte Sr. found out that Conrad had stopped sending supplies to the Guardians when Cog left and had instead been selling them to Bandits to get money to rebuild the town, she was not nearly so understanding. She accused him of heresy, and ordered for him to be, uh. Flayed alive. Which wasn’t great. It’s what got her killed ultimately; Cog had to choose between her parents, and after watching her Mama summon a shadow demon that very nearly choked the life out of Sunny? It was a choice with only one possible outcome. 

Caspian

18. Would society call your character a good guy or a bad guy? What would they say they are? Caspian is. Caspian is Just a person. Like she is just out here doing her best, trying not to get killed by, idk. Pirates or ghosts or w/e. This is an endeavor that, statistically, could be going a lot better.  I think the more interesting angle to look at this question from is the fact that she’s a monk from a well known monastery, and that there’s Expectations on how she conducts herself in the world as a result of that. She is Just A Person, but that’s not good enough. Not when she’s running around wearing Pelor’s holy symbol, representing his monastery, reflecting on him. For a long time, I think Caspian resented the expectation that put on her! Why can’t she just be a kid? Just a person? She didn’t ask to be raised by these monks in this kind of life. But when she left home and realized how suddenly lonely she was, there were quiet, sad moments it was easy to soften with prayer. Rekindling her relationship with her god was her way of staying connected to home, and I think it also made her want to go from being Just a Person to actually wanting to take pride in being a Good Person.  And then her campaign lasted for two fucking seconds lmao so it didn’t even matter hahah! :)

Ryker

4. Has your character ever been hurt or betrayed by someone they thought they could depend on? What happened? YEAH BOY rye-bread got his SHIT handed to him lmaoooo His whole “why are you adventuring?” deal is that he fell in love with the noblewoman he was hired to escort across the country to her betrothed’s estate, and she played him like a fucking fiddle and convinced him -after her wedding, after she was pregnant with her husband’s first child and therefore heir- that she was in love with him too. But of course, because she was married, her husband would never let them be happy together. She talked Ryker into killing her husband, and promised to meet him the night he did it with horses and supplies for both of them. Anyone reading along at home with even a shred of common sense probably just said, “uh oh!” And uh oh indeed; she fully sold his ass out. There’s something emotionally devastating about slipping out of the bedroom of the man you just killed, his blood still on your hands, to find the woman you love standing between two enormous guards, but I can’t quite put my finger on what.  Ryker figured out her plan in the following days he spent in a cell, awaiting execution. She didn’t love her husband, but by playing the role of grieving widow and anxious mother-to-be she could ingratiate herself with his family enough to be allowed to take control of the estate while her son, the true heir, grew up to run it. It was cruel, and clean, and if Ryker hadn’t managed to escape it would have gone off without a hitch.

Brilliance 

17. Is your character afraid of death? Why/why not? Brilliance isn’t afraid of death, she’s afraid for what she’d leave behind. One of the songs on her playlist really leans into this (and I’m very excited to be posting her playlist soon! Stay tuned!), because she is terrified of what her death might do to Sienna. She never planned to become an adventurer, much less travel to the Hells to try and save an entire city. She was content, more than content, to guard Sune’s church, to help the people that came seeking her goddess’ blessing and guidance. When her city faced a sudden influx of refugees from Elturel after its destruction, she was even happy to volunteer to help the Flaming Fist keep order and root out would-be troublemakers. She never meant to get caught up in a job that would take her out of her home city, much less out of her home plane entirely. Every fight she got into in Hell, every time it seemed like she may be staring down something that might kill her, Brilliance had to swallow down the overwhelming guilt of knowing that if she died here Sienna would never know what happened to her. The image of Sienna, worried and pacing, looking toward the door to their apartment every time there was so much as a whisper in the hallway, desperate for any sign that Brilliance had come home-- It wasn’t delusions of self-importance or self-preservation that had Brilliance taking Glasya’s deal to save her from the narzugon’s clutches; it was the image of Sienna collapsing onto their bed and sobbing because she finally admitted to herself that Brilliance was never coming home. Still. Sienna needs her, but her party needs her too. They’re counting on her to be there for them, to take the big hits that they can’t handle. First one in, last one out; she doesn’t leave until everyone else is safe. She wants to survive, she wants to go home and marry the woman she loves, but she couldn’t live with herself if she did it at the cost of the life of someone who was depending on her. Brilliance isn’t afraid of death; she would die for her party members, even the ones she doesn’t particularly like. She just knows exactly what the cost of her death would be.