#also janus has vitiligo

[parentsbesluts]

after a full month theyre finally done . these designs took a lot out of me to make but i really like how they all turned out. more design info for each under the cut

patton: black cis man, he/him, 6'0 (the tallest except for remus*). 4b hair. he has patches of skin that developed into frog skin following the events of svsr. its functionally similar to vitiligo, as it was caused by the high amounts of stress patton went through, but not the same. his shirt was a gift from janus that was suggested by remus. he has chronic back pain (not a part of the design but this is important to know). he wears the bff bracelet that roman made for him when they were young. he has stretch marks around his shoulders and chest.

roman: italian + latina bigender woman, she/he/star, 5'10. he dyes her own hair often but favors stars natural color with streaks of blond. her sword is longer than that when star actually uses it. i fucked up the proportions when drawing it and didn't have the strength to fix it. she had an entire royal cape but he opts not to wear it in most situations. similarly he owns a lot more jewelry than just the stuff stars wearing in the picture but its often not practical. her bff bracelet is in a drawer in his room right now.

logan: indigenous (specifically mayan) agender person, they/xe, 5'6 (the shortest except for remus*). xyr hair has gone gray from stress despite attempts to fix it, so they have accepted their fate and moved on. xe has a nose ring because virgil is a terrible influence on them. the heart on their cheek marks the first spot that virgil ever kissed xem. xe's been carrying around that orange book a lot recently for some reason. xe has stretch marks around their chest, shoulders, armpit, and hips.

virgil: irish (she makes their skin gray just because) genderfluid person, she/he/they, 5'8 ½. he took up smoking (though they prefer weed over cigs) to try and reduce her and thomas's anxiety. it's seemingly working but now their room smells like weed. her rat tails are 100% real. after accepting anxiety she cut off their jacket sleeves and jean shins to show off more of his body. we love body positivity. the scar on his face is remus's fault. they have many anxiety reducing habits such as can tab collecting and biting her nails. enrichment. the heart on his neck marks the first spot that logan ever kissed her. he changes hair color in accordance with shirt. she has stretch marks around their hip and armpits.

janus: french + spanish trans male, he/hiss/venom, 5'8. the cane is not optional. despite having the fashion sense of an upper class victorian man hi is actively socialist. ve claims he's "reclaiming the style". the tree patterns on hisses overcoat and gloves have absolutely no symbolism related to them whatsoever. the eye he wears around venoms neck is made from serpentine. the ring pattern on hisses gloves is solely because its hard to put rings on over gloves, even though it doesnt matter at all and ve could simply summon rings on hisses fingers if he wanted to. the snake pattern around venoms coat is not sentient.

remus: italian + latino unlabled person, he/it/that thing, height is incredibly unstable but averages to around 5'10 most days. it can see out of the eyes on his earrings and right sleeve. the spikes on that things clothing are indeed real teeth. it misses his friends. it wears some sort of weird lingerie under his uniform. that thing ended up getting the uncontrollable hair genes and it dyes its hair in shrimp colors. he wants to dye its hair with virgil again. the chain can be stored inside of the mace handle, allowing the mace to be used as a morningstar. the preportions on it are also bad sorry. that things shoes are sentient and want to kill you. it wishes janus wasn't so busy. he doesn't want to be alone.

[ho-ho-homosxual]

Sanders (A)Sides headcanons p2 because I finally got motivation

They have family game nights that are organized by Patton and Logan. The two get together once a week and plan out the game night. It usually takes place on weekends because it’s the least busy. Pattons always gets really excited about it because “We can finally play clue!” They used to only be able to play two player games (past Logan insisted it wasn’t helpful)

Janus has scales over his body (think of it like vitiligo). When snakes shed they have a thing called a blue stage (I think) and during that stage their eyes become blue and blind. That happens to Jan as well but only in one eye.

Also Janus’s sheds are treated like a period. The others help him out (ie. get him chocolate, talk to him, leave him alone when he wants them to, and have a drawer full of stress toys.)

because Remus encompasses all of Thomas’s intrusive thoughts sometimes he just randomly pops up and starts quietly singing a random ad jingle and slowly gets louder.

Roman totally has one of those fancy canopy bed things. And fairy lights that are all strung up around the room.

whenever Patton goes to lecture Thomas about something he calls him Tomathy.

Virgil used to be addicted to Monster Energy but once the others found out how it affected his sleep schedule they helped him slowly transition to sparkling water. His favorite flavor is blackberry.

Headcanons Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

[pencilpat]

I made intro pages for the dweebs from my college kids AU! I will actually be writing this out as a fic, but there's a lot of drama in this friend group that I'm excited to explore. Some design notes are inspired by various other fan designs that I love, so props to them for inspiration!

Also, just to say it, I'm psychotic myself, and I hardly ever see stories I like about psychotic characters. Remus in canon reminds me a lot of myself, so I chose him to explore my ideas with.

Roman & Remus have piebaldism and Janus has vitiligo, and while Roman and Jan tend to cover as much skin as they can, Remus is the opposite, usually in mesh clothes or tank tops.

[saintseed-family]

What are Laurel and Reed like when they grow up???

Aaaaah this is such a fun question!

Their growth is kinda non traditional in that they stay kids a little longer than you would expect due to their slow aging firbolg heritage, but eventually they do become adults!

Laurel goes through a mild rebellious phase (it’s so mild, she shaves her head in defiance of the firbolg tradition of long hair, as if Janus didn’t do the same thing when he was a kid but for gender conventions lol), learns a lot about her orc heritage with her dad as he rediscovers it, gets some piercings and has her tusks embellished, learns Druidic discipline from her Untiey Dale, and helps defend her village from monsters!

Reed’s vitiligo spreads a bit as he gets older and his face markings eventually touch and his hair starts to streak like Janus. He also has a HARD time with his teeth growing in, and ends up with overbite tusks (a common male orc occurrence) which don’t inhibit him but did take some getting used too. Reed takes an interest in the medical aspects of cleric magic and studies to be a village healer. Traditionally the oldest child is the one who becomes The Harvest Cleric, but Reed inherits the title from his papa instead of Laurel (something she’s more than happy about haha).

[wofdesignhub]

Maybe like mutations? Like oh this kitty has two faces or like idk somethin

mutations have been planned such as chimera, somatic, vitiligo. also minor ones like polydactilysm or folded ears, which can be passed onto their children (though rarely, now with a slightly higher chance)

stuff like cats with four ears or Janus cats I’m not sure but we’ll see

[fakeloveaskblog]

(Hi, me again. I didn’t even notice that Virgil’s section was twice the size of the other ones, that’s very on brand for me isn’t it. Also the different paths were really interesting to look at, thanks for sharing!)

I’m going to follow Janus and Logan to the café, but open up a little void portal so I can spy on the Rems and see when the wake up, so I can alert Logan and Janus.

Glow Eyes

Janus and Logan were sitting in a coffee shop a few streets away from the apartment. They were deep in the middle of a card game, their legs mindlessly rubbing against each other under the table.

"One of my vitiligo patches moved since yesterday" Janus said casually while putting a card out.

They had already finished their tea while their boyfriend still had most of his iced coffee left. The two of them had shared an angel cake as well.

"You don't mean overnight do you? I am aware that it's normal for them to move gradually" Logan replied.

"Overnight"

It made Logan set aside his cards and look at his partner up and down. Surely he would notice if any visible vitiligo patch would have moved that suddenly.

"Continue playing deary" Janus said while laying out another card.

"I can't remember ever reading about a phenomenon regarding patches moving overnight. Maybe you should go to the hospital? OR! We can do some experiments. maybe you can"

He trailed off into a long ramble about the possible research and experiments that could be done. Several time breaking out into annoyed rants about how little solid research had been done about vitiligo before continuing with-

"Checkmate darling!" Janus interrupted as they laid out their last card "I won"

Logan was caught of guard before letting up into a the slightest of smiles "Did you just lie to me about the vitiligo so you could win while I was distracted"

"It's within the rules!" They replied with a smug look.

He did a little congratulatory clap "Playing dirty I see. I suppose there is some valid strategy to that as well"

"What makes that the score then" Janus said while moving over so they were sitting in on Lo's lap with their arms around his shoulder "Surely I must be destroying you by now! It only makes sense!"

"It might take a while to calculate" Logan teased while leaning in for a kiss.

You interrupted them with your alert about Remus and Remy waking up. They gave each other a quick kiss before getting up to leave, iced coffee included.

--

Remy had their mouth filled with muesli as they opened the door "Hi Janny" They greeted "Why did you bring your dog with you?"

Janus opened his mouth to respond before closing it again and squinting over to his boyfriend "Hello...?"

Remus waved to them "HIYA J-ANUS! HELLO LOG! Janny why did you bring your boytoy top with you?"

"It's unscientific to make assumptions like that" Lo replied "If anyone is going to call me a top they must have used the empiric method of science to figure it out beforehand"

"You invited us over darling" Janus said while welcoming themself into the apartment while dragging their boyfriend along "Why are there oranges on your table?"

"We made art!!! SUper cool epic art!! OH!!! Want me to show you?? It's a mini movie I'll just load it up and-"

Remy leant over and whispered into Remus' ear which made him stop in the middle of getting his laptop. They didn't want anyone to see the movie unless they'd made sure they didn't look horrible in it first.

"We will- maybe- show you the movie after the council has reviewed it" He said instead.

Janus let up into a smile "I'm sure it's wonderful. Did you get so pulled into the movie you forgot you'd invited us to the karaoke night at the gay bar?"

"THE KARAOKE-" Remy face palmed themself before exclaiming "THAT'S WHY YOU LOOK SO TOTS FUCKING GOOD!!! That's why you're heeere!! Augh girl I get it now! I'd tots forgotten"

Logan smiled as he saw his partner lit up all red from blushing. "It's understandable if the two of you are too tired to go tonight" He said.

"Giiirrrl bestie bitch gal I ain't never saying no to getting fucked up at a bar kay. Gimme like 5 and I'll be ready"

As soon as Remy had left the room Janus moved closer to Remus and asked "You don't have to come if you don't want to. Lo isn't going drink anything since he's driving just so you know, but you still don't-"

"It's okay. I want to"

Remus leant his head against theirs in a sort of hug as their hands grasped for the others. One of the beads in Janus' hair knocked against his cheek which made him grin.

"I should get ready I think" He interrupted before anything could happen.

Remy was sitting on their now basically shared bed as he came into the bedroom. They had their underwear on and a pair of stockings as they crouched in front of a mirror, eyeliner pen in hand. They didn't look away from the make up, instead being too preoccupied by choosing between a purple or red eyeliner. Eventually they chose purple purely because they knew Janus liked purple better.

They heard a shaky breathe but didn't think much of it and choose a lipstick that would look good in low lightning before beginning to wonder what to wear.

"Uhm Beanie?" It was said so quiet Remy nearly didn't hear "Help?"

They turned to see Remus forcing his binder down just over his chest. It had curled up on the back making it almost impossible for him to pull it down on his own.

"'Course babe"

His hand was shaking a bit as he turned around to let them pull it down. For a moment Remy had to force back a wave of anger as they saw the light scars on his back after being pushed into a mirror. How the scaring had cut between light freckles and his shoulder blades sticking out. His obvious fear, the way his muscles tensed and his lips were ready to force back a scream only made them angrier.

(They wouldn't admit it but they felt a tinge of jelousy. Why couldn't they have gotten scars that showed that what they had gone through was real. Why did all of the markings of their abuse have to disappear while he still got to have his)

They were careful to only touch the fabric as they pulled the binder down. They mumbled out a quiet question if it fit good and he nodded.

"Thanks"

"No problem. Anytime girlie"

They wanted to press a kiss right between his shoulder blades or maybe against the top of his spine or maybe on every single scar, but they didn't want to make him uncomfortable. So instead they handed him the hoodie they knew he liked the best before going back to choosing between clothes. They'd found a mini mini skirt that looked good with their leather jacket, now they just had to choose which top looked best.

"DRUGS!" Remus suddenly yelled "THE DRUGS!"

He ran out of the room and returned with both of their daily medicines and two glasses of water.

"Drugs!" He repeated while holding out their pain meds.

"Yaaay drugs my fav"

He downed his antipsychotics before pointing at a pink tank top "I think that'll look good"

"Oh my gosh!! Girl!! I was just thinking that!!" They lied though they had been instantly convinced that it would look great "We're like tots on the same wavelenght"

"Hivemind! Hivemind! Hivemind!" He chanted as they got dressed.

"Do I look goooooddd?"

Remus straightened out their jacket and grinned "If a cannibal saw you they wouldn't be able to stop themself from eating ya!"

"Awww babbeey thanks!"

When they left the bedroom Janus was drinking straight from the wine bottle he had brought along while his boyfriend was peppering kisses along his shoulder.

"Are you two ready to leave?"

"Yes sir!"

"Yaas or whatever"

[bradyentzer]

Living with Vitiligo_ Tips for Managing Your Skin Condition - Dr. Brad Yentzer

Vitiligo is a long-term skin condition characterized by patches of the skin losing its pigment. The patches of skin affected become white and usually have sharp margins. This occurs when melanocytes, the cells responsible for producing the skin pigment melanin, die or stop functioning. This article aims to provide a comprehensive overview of vitiligo, debunk common misconceptions, explore diagnosis and treatment options, and offer practical tips for managing the condition. It's also a resource for additional support, aimed at fostering understanding and resilience among those living with vitiligo. Dr. Brad Yentzer

Vitiligo is a skin condition that results in the development of white patches on the skin, a consequence of the loss of melanocytes, the pigment-producing cells. The lack of melanocytes means that no melanin, the pigment that determines the colour of your skin, hair, and eyes, can be produced in these areas, causing them to turn white. These patches can appear anywhere on the body, often symmetrically, and are more noticeable on darker skin.

There are many misconceptions surrounding vitiligo. Some believe it's contagious or a result of poor hygiene, but these are untrue. Vitiligo is an autoimmune condition, meaning the immune system mistakenly attacks the body's cells - in this case, the melanocytes. It's not caused by an infection or poor hygiene and cannot be passed from person to person. Additionally, while vitiligo can cause patches of skin to lack pigment, it doesn't affect the health or function of the skin. It can, however, have a significant emotional can lead psychological impact. Despite these misconceptions, with the right understanding and management, those with vitiligo and normal and healthy lives.

The diagnosis of vitiligo often begins with a thorough medical history and physical examination. The condition can usually be confirmed by a visual examination by a dermatologist, but further tests may be conducted to rule out other skin conditions. These tests may include a skin biopsy, blood tests, or an eye examination. In certain cases, a Wood's lamp examination, where the skin is observed under ultraviolet light, may be used to highlight the contrast between vitiligo and normal skin.

Currently, there are several treatment options available for vitiligo. These may be categorized into medical, surgical, and adjunctive treatments. Medical treatments include topical corticosteroids and calcineurin inhibitors, psoralen plus ultraviolet A (PUVA) therapy, and narrowband ultraviolet B (NB-UVB) therapy. Surgical treatments such as melanocyte-keratinocyte transplantation can be considered for some patients. Adjunctive treatments like tattoos and makeup can be used to camouflage the depigmented areas. Brad Yentzer

The field of vitiligo treatment has seen significant advancements in recent years. Researchers are exploring new treatments like Janus kinase (JAK) inhibitors, which hold promise in depigmenting the skin. Gene therapy, stem cell therapy, and melanocyte transplantation are other areas of ongoing research. It's important to remember that while these treatments can help manage the condition and improve quality of life, there is currently no cure for vitiligo. Each patient's response to treatment can vary, and it's crucial to find a treatment plan that works best for the individual's needs and lifestyle.

Living with a skin condition like vitiligo requires a specialized skincare routine to help manage the symptoms and keep the skin looking its best. Here are some tips to incorporate into your daily routine:

Moisturize: Hydrated skin can help minimize the appearance of vitiligo patches and keeps your skin healthy. Look for a moisturizer that's kind to sensitive skin and free of potential irritants like fragrance.

Use Gentle Skincare Products: Choose soap, face wash, and other skincare products that are mild and free from harsh chemicals to avoid exacerbating your skin condition.

Sun Protection: Sun exposure can cause vitiligo patches to become more noticeable. Use a broad-spectrum sunscreen with an SPF of 30 or higher every day. When spending extended time outside, reapply your sunscreen every two hours and wear protective clothing and hats.

Cosmetics: Cosmetics can be used to cover vitiligo patches if desired. Use products that match your natural skin tone and are designed for sensitive skin.

Regular Check-ups: Regularly visiting a dermatologist can help monitor the progression of the condition and adjust treatments as necessary.

Dealing with social situations while having vitiligo can be challenging. It's essential to remember that everyone's journey with vitiligo is different. It's normal to feel self-conscious but remember that there's no need to hide your skin. Communicate openly about your condition if you feel comfortable doing so. Seek support from friends, family, or a vitiligo support group. Remember, you are not alone, and there are many resources and communities available to provide support and understanding.

Living with vitiligo can feel isolating, but remember that you are not alone. There are numerous support groups and communities available that can offer comfort, understanding, and practical advice.

Vitiligo Support International: This is a global community offering online forums where individuals with vitiligo can connect and support each other. They offer resources for coping with the emotional aspects of vitiligo, as well as information about the latest research and treatments.

American Vitiligo Research Foundation (AVRF): AVRF provides a safe and supportive environment for children and their families who are dealing with vitiligo. They also provide resources for education and research.

Vitiligo Friends: An online community where you can share your stories, connect with others, and learn more about Vitiligo management.

National Vitiligo Foundation, Inc: This foundation offers educational materials, resources for finding specialists, and information on ongoing clinical trials.

World Vitiligo Day: An annual event aimed at raising awareness about vitiligo. Participating can be a great way to connect with the larger vitiligo community and advocate for further research and understanding.

There are numerous treatment options available, and advancements in medical research bring hope for even more effective therapies in the future. By establishing a personalized skincare routine and utilizing the wealth of resources and support available, you can confidently navigate life with vitiligo. Remember, every person's experience with vitiligo is different, and it's okay to forge your path in managing this condition. Always consult with your doctor or a dermatologist for personalized advice, and reach out to support communities or loved ones when you need it. You are not alone in your journey, and your uniqueness is a testament to your strength.

[c-h-pictures]

So, I wanted to make Con artist AU Janus completely blind, but it’s just not working.

So now he’s blind in one eye and has no depth perception.

Because I still need the blind factor for storyline, but completely blind isn’t working.

[ravenhilarious]

Lesbian Loceit, in the rain

[serpentinesomebody]

Representations of Janus’ snake features in human AUs that I haven’t seen/would like to see more of:

Eczema

Acne

Psoriasis

Missing Eye and/or Nose

Facial Prosthetic

Treacher Collins Syndrome

Crouzon Syndrome

Lateral Cleft

Cleft Lip/Cleft Palate

Ptosis

Feel free to add!

[ts-janus-rp-blog]

@remy-sys

Logan’s been under Thomas’s care for a long time. But not nearly as long as he was forced to work and pull at a station- he has scars from the whips still. His horse half is a work breed, a Soviet heavy draft.

He never quite understood why Thomas didn’t let him work. He hated it, too. He was meant to work, wasn’t he-? Hours have passed since he wandered off away from Thomas and the other centaurs Thomas cared for. He had been wandering around in this field now for hours, in the beaming sun and blistering heat. His coat was soaked in sweat and his hooves covered in dirt. His body ached but in his hazy, sickened mind he was working again. Like he was meant to.

He was back at the ranch he worked at before Thomas purchased him. That’s what his eyes were showing at least. He was still wandering in that same circle, his hair a mess and tail laying limp against his horse cheeks. He stared forward silently and dizzily, the double nature of his vision both from the overwhelming heat and his glasses hanging half off his human face. His expression was blank and his eyes dull, and glossed over. He just kept trotting in that same circle.

Janus also has been rescued by Thomas. Before he was purchased Janus used to be a slave, a pet, for his last owner. Really, he was more like a butler as he was forced to do anything that his owner wanted. And if he showed any resistance or hesitation he was met with punishment. Cause of this Janus had numerous whip marks across his pelt, and one of his back legs was broken beyond repair. Now he is forced to hobble around, and some days he can't even stand up cause it hurts too much. Today he needed a brace so he won't fall over on himself. That's the main reason why his owner had sold him even though he was so loyal, he was broken. And a slave can't be broken.

Janus is considerably smaller than all the centaurs that Thomas has. The reason being is that Janus isn't part horse. He's actually part deer. A golden deer, specifically. He has white patches on his underbelly and legs, and shining white spots throughout his body. He was more of a darker golden color with pale skin and almost solid black hair. But, what was unique about him was that when his antlers grow in they are shining bright white color. Which is unique for his species since most of the time the antlers are rather dark in color compared to the rest of the body. And, his piercing golden eyes also made him unique. Even more, his human part has vitiligo. Because of this he constantly has to wear long sleeve shirts and a huge sunhat with a veil to protect his skin whenever he is outside. It's a pain, but he's gotten used to it. But, there were several reasons why his owner used him as a prize slave indeed... And why Thomas had to buy him at a high price. He was rather unique in many ways for his species.

In any case, he had noticed that Logan was missing first. Followed by the others. And he grew worried for the massive centaur. He knew that Logan could be...unstable mentally cause of his past. And he's worried that he could hurt himself and be stuck somewhere. So, against his screaming leg he broke off from the rest and went a different direction. As he was hell bent on finding Logan.

He walked and walked. It didn't take long for his screaming leg to now be incredibly painful. So painful that he was limping. And he could feel the sun rays beating on his back. Oh... He is most certainly going to get a horrible sunburn. Normally his fur protects him from the sun's rays, but if he stays out in the direct sunlight for too long...his fur can only do so much, after all. He's going to be in pain for several days, but he doesn't care. He has to find... Wait... Where those heavy hooves that he's hearing? Logan?!

He hobbled forward and turned a corner, only to gasp at the sight before him. "Oh... Logan..." He whispered quietly as he hobbled into the field. He took one look at his friend and his heart broke. Seeing his hazy eyes... His sweat covered body... Oh... Oh dear... Janus stepped forward and he simply hugged Logan the best he could. He was about half the size of the large centaur so it's hard to hug him, but he still tried. "Logan... Logan... I'm here. It's janus. Can you hear me? Logan?" He looked up and he tried to reach Logan's face the best he could. But, his bad knee gave out just as he was about to reach his cheek, and he fell hard to the ground. He yelped loudly in pain and he gripped onto his bad leg. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, fuck!"

[hannahdra-ws]

and now (you’re hyper paranoid)

Summary: 

hypochondria; n; abnormal anxiety about one's health, especially with an unwarranted fear that one has a serious disease.

(or: Janus has a very bad time.)

Romantic, established dukeceit

TWs: hypochondria, covid-19, panic attacks, unspecified eating disorder, coughing, crying

----------

Through the uneasy feeling, Janus knew he was being a little unrealistic.

He's perfectly healthy, he rarely gets sick. He hasn't even had the flu before. He's double vaccinated, and he wears his mask everywhere. He's certainly never gotten food poisoning before.

So he doesn't know why he's freaking out so much.

read on ao3

Janus stared at the plate in front of him, heart thumping so loudly he was almost sure the others at the table could hear it. It wasn't anything major, it was just meatloaf with a side of mashed potatoes and corn, and Patton and Logan (mostly Logan) spent a lot of time on it, so there's no reason he shouldn't eat it.

The others are enjoying it too, bantering and joking across the table without a care in the world. Roman was basically sitting in Logan's lap, and Four Idiots (as Janus and Remus dubbed them as) kept sending each other equally besotted expressions. Remus was next to him, gesturing animatedly while he talked with one hand and the other hand tightly gripped in Janus's own.

He felt off kilter and shaky, watching everyone eat their food. Janus knows he should be eating too, and logically he knows that there is a very small chance of him getting food poisoning. But that doesn't make the debilitating anxiety welling up inside him go away.

Oh God, he's going to get sick, somethings wrong with the meat he'll get sick and vo-

Ugh. Virgil's the one that has the anxiety problem, not him. Why did his brother have to give him his mental illness? Bitch.

Suddenly, a loud noise happened, forcefully dragging Janus out of his mind. It was Roman, coughing loudly. He kept hacking, and hacking, and Janus abruptly felt faint. 

The others were watching with concern, and Logan was patting Roman on the back to get whatever had lodged in his throat out. Eventually, he did clear his airways, after a long breath in and a particularly violent cough. 

Patton inquired if he was okay, and Roman nodded, face red and tears streaming down his face from coughing so much. "Sorry, I choked." His voice was scratchy from coughing. But he was smiling, and that should have been an indicator that he was okay, he just choked, he's fine-

Remus made some comment, and Virgil flipped him off while still looking worriedly in Roman's direction, but Janus suddenly couldn't hear through the ringing in his ears. Remus must have noticed either the way he abruptly went still, or the fact that he had barely eaten anything, because he squeezed his hand in question. Janus abruptly stood up from the table, almost knocking his chair down in the process.

Remus frowned, a small, confused thing, "Jaybird? You alright?"

"I'm sorry, if you'll excuse me," Janus managed to choke out, before quickly ripping his hand from Remus's and stumbling away, ignoring the protests and calls from the table behind him. 

He hopes no one noticed that he didn't finish his meal.

----

Janus stumbled to his room, heart beating out of his chest, thump, thump, thump. He quickly locked the door and slid his back down to the floor, digging his gloved hands in his hair and pulling.

Roman's dry hacking wouldn't leave his head, oh God he sounded sick, but he's not he just choked he's fine, he doesn't have covid none of you do you're all vaccinated, fuck-

Janus was acutely aware that he was crying, now, his chest tight and his throat sore from the tears. He was trembling, small and terrified against the back of his door, and he couldn't stop thinking.

Janus had to go back to school in a week. School, with its crowded areas and unvaccinated people and possible removal of masks. The very thought of it makes his heart jump into his throat, dizzy with terror.

What if one of them had covid, and we just didn't have any symptoms, what if the vaccine doesn't work against the variant, fuck, he's going to get it, maybe he already has it, he's going to die he's going to die he can't breathe-

He suddenly had the image of his own funeral in his head, his boyfriend and his friends and his brother at his own funeral, crying softly and holding each other. He envisioned himself in the afterlife, waiting for them, watching Remus suffer alone because he wasn't there-

And that horrifying image in his head is what turned his soft crying into desperate sobs, shaking and pulling his hair so tight it stung. 

And that's also when he finally registered the frantic knocking on the door, how long has that been going on? and Remus's panicked voice coming from the other side.

"Jan? Baby, I can hear you crying, fuck, are you hurt? If you want me to fuck off, tell me, but- Oh, Jay, please answer, even a knock, just let me know if you're alright-"

Janus reached with trembling hands to unlock the door, even as his mind went no don't he could be sick, and he quickly moved away from the door a little so Remus wouldn't smack him in the face with the door when he came bursting in.

And burst in he did. In a flurry of motion, Remus quickly came in and shut the door behind him, then sat on the floor with panicked, worried eyes looking at Janus.

"Janus? Can you- fuck, I'm not good at this- can I touch you?"

Somewhere, in the back behind the panic, Janus found his stumbling endearing.

Janus debated for half a second, social distance 6 feet apart you'll die you'll die you'll die, before crumbling to his desire to be held.

"Pl- Please, hold me, I- I can't-" Janus's voice came out absolutely pathetic, broken up in sobs and small and trembling, but Remus paid it no mind. He quickly scooped up Janus in his arms, and Janus held onto him for dear life, like he'll be swept away if he doesn't. He cries so hard he's almost heaving, shaking like a leaf in Remus's strong, tattooed arms.

Oh, Remus, make it go away, He thought, and then cried harder because what a childish thing to think.

"Shh, shh, you're alright, I've got you. Can you breathe with me, darling? In and out, you're okay," Remus's voice was calm and soothing, the panic deliberately gone from his voice, probably to not make him feel worse. He breathed in deeply, over exaggerating his breaths so that Janus could follow along.

Janus tried to follow the rhythm, hiccupping through his tears. He stumbled a few times, and it took a bit, but he eventually was able to settle his breathing. His tears had started to slow, and he suddenly felt overwhelmingly childish. 

He just had a breakdown over something so stupid. It's not like he's the only one affected by covid, they're in a fucking pandemic, and he has no right to panic when he's not even sick. He's fine. 

Janus and Remus had only been together for a few months, so Remus hadn't seen this side of Janus yet. This was sure to make him leave. Fuck, he's so stupid.

"There you are, baby," Remus crooned with a soothing voice, and Janus flushed despite himself. Remus wiped away one of his lingering tears, his palm cupping Janus's cheek, and Janus leaned into the warmth, suddenly exhausted. He felt boneless and hollowed out inside of Remus's arms, like his limbs were made of lead.

"I'm sorry," Janus croaked, and Remus was shushing him before he could get more words out.

"No, shut up, you're not allowed to apologize for having a panic attack. You have nothing to apologize for." Remus was strong and steady, and Janus opened his eyes that he didn't mean to close. For some reason, he wanted to deny that what just happened was a panic attack. "You're okay, love, we're okay."

Janus gave a small laugh in spite of himself, and Remus huffed, indignant. "What?"

"Nothing, just- you use a l- lot more cutesy nicknames when you're calming me down." Janus noted, and Remus puffed up like a peacock, but he was smiling. 

"Would you rather I use my normal names? J-anus? Two Dicks? Hot ass? Da-"

Janus cut him off with laughter and a smack to the arm, "Shut up, you awful man, that wasn't an invitation-" 

Remus was laughing too, grin blinding. When they both stopped laughing, they just sat there for a while in comfortable silence. Remus traced the vitiligo patches on Janus's back through the clothes (Janus flushed at the fact that Remus just knew where they were) and Janus traced the tattoos on Remus's brown skin.

After several long, quiet moments, Remus's quiet voice broke the silence. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Instantly, Janus went tense, before shaking his head no. He couldn't explain it without sounding stupid, and he didn't want Remus to leave.

Besides, there was nothing Remus could truly say that he hasn't heard before. 

Nothing will make it go away.

Remus nodded, content with not pushing. "Well, I say we move the cuddling to the bed and not the floor, how does that sound?"

Before Janus could respond, Remus just scooped him up, effortlessly in the air. Janus squeaked and held onto Remus before Remus just dumped him down unceremoniously onto the bed, bouncing a little on the springs. 

Remus laid down on his back, and Janus immediately crawled to him and curled up next to him, laying his head on Remus's chest and Remus wrapping an arm around him.

"Nap time," Janus mumbled into Remus's shirt. Janus felt more than heard him chuckle.

"Well, if the king says it's nap time, then I have no choice but to obey." Janus swatted at him lazily, and he couldn't see it, but he bet Remus grinned. Remus laid a quick kiss to his temple and his heart swelled.

The worry still pricked in the back of Janus's mind. He was sure that later, he was going to freak out over this moment, that the sudden contact made him contract an illness.

But right now, at this moment, he's fine. He's with his boyfriend, and his other friends and his brother are in the house somewhere too, no doubt worried about Janus. They're all vaccinated, healthy, and safe. 

I'm okay, he thought, the thought not panic induced this time, and fell asleep next to Remus, and dreamt of nothing but warmth.

[banana-lovesyou]

Hi I’ve been gone, have some eyes because it is all ik how to draw anymore

first three are sanders sides for a random merman au I made ages ago (Roman, deceit- or well Janus, and Virgil)

red boi is Shiloh, demon of the ring of Pride and best friend of nikolas, was trying new eyebrows with them and the next few- they look weird but oh well. he/they demisexual type that looks cool and suave, is lowkey a little anxious and approval seeking

Nikolas, demon of Pride and best friend of Shiloh, nicknames are koi and koi fish due to his vitiligo. he/him pansexual looks chill, is chill

June, a friends OC, human he/him gae looks like a sinnamon roll is a cinnamon roll (but also a sinnamon roll)

Percival, a prince with ice powers (cue the elsa jokes) he/him any/all questioning and has a bf. Went for a more realistic feel with these by drawing in the line art of the eyes with a blending brush like I do for the rest instead of hard lines and I added a blur effect to the eyelashes and eyebrows. Also he ended up with vitiligo because I’ve been on a kick for it and loved how Nikolas’s came out looks like a cinnamon roll is absolutely a cinnamon roll

[illusion-of-evil]

One Too Many: Chapter 12

Also on Ao3

One Too Many Masterlist

Summary:

Soulmates

That word didn’t feel so painful to think about anymore. It wasn’t so narrow and sharp, it wasn’t filled with cold and hate like it used to be. It’s no longer yelling and harsh lies and abandonment. It wasn’t shallow, but it wasn’t exactly full either, not yet.

Not… yet…

Author's note: We are reaching the end of One too Many! But don't worry, that doesn't mean I'm completely done with this series! I have so many more ideas that I want to add.

If anyone has any requests pertaining to this story or maybe questions you want me to answer, just let me know in the comments and I'll do my best to answer them in story format! My asks are open as well!

Be on the lookout for more being added to the Fate's little game series! Cause I plan on adding both short stories and a few more multichapter ones!

Pairings: DLAMPR, DRLAMP, LAMP. Along with background Emile/Remy. Romantic with platonic creativitwins.

Warnings: Violence, blood, manipulation and mind control. Remus being Remus. Self harm and suicidal thoughts. Also a forced relationship.

Word Count: 4709

----------------------------------------------------

A Soulmate's Worth

“Holy shit, you just… erased their memories!?”

“No, I persuaded them to ignore the fact that you were absent and to just pass the test and homework you missed. Mortal’s minds are easy to convince and they didn’t seem to particularly care about their respective assignments.”

Slapping his hand to his face, Virgil groans, shaking his head, staring at the disguised man in front of him. Janus was the tallest of the group according to Logan. He looked like a normal human right now, his skin brown, but not dark like her’s , immaculate with bright white patches of vitiligo across the left side of his face where his scales would normally be. His eyes were still multicolored, honey and green. When he smiled, his teeth lacked their usual fangs and deviance. Then there was the more obvious stuff, like how he had only two arms instead of six and no claws and normal legs instead of a long snake tail. Then there was the fact that he wasn’t wearing his normal black and gold cloak, bowler hat, and long-sleeved jacket, looking like an old fashion aristocrat. No, he had on a black hoodie and jeans with a beanie, still having his weird gold gloves on though. It was weird to see him like this, Virgil was only accustomed to seeing him in all his overdramatic glory! When he walked into the room, Virgil just excused him as another stranger, until the man spoke, his voice would be something he could never mistake.

Janus did say he was a shapeshifter, but Virgil doesn’t know if he knows who he’s looking at or not. It was a bit scary.

The two of them sat in the comic store, Virgil eating a burger for his quick dinner while Janus stared at the food with complete disdain, which is fair, greasy food was so gross sometimes, as a fae, he must not see the appeal. It was still bizarre to think about, seeing something so unnatural in his normal environment. He takes another bite of his food, glaring at the deceitful shapeshifter.

“You persuaded them? Is that what you’re deciding to call it?”

“What? You don’t believe that I'm charming enough to get away with it?”

“No, I think you don’t like people enough to do it the nice way. “

Janus shrugs, a smirk playing on his lips, making Virgil sigh and look away, face flushing deeply. After eating some fries he spoke again.

“Thank you, either way, I was worried about failing class.” With everything that happened, Virgil had missed out on more than a week's worth of classes because he was ‘convinced’ to hang out with… her. Then his soulmates forced him to rest and recover for nearly five more days after the cave incident. In other words, he missed enough work to be behind on two of his five classes and to be close to failing a 3rd one, plus Remy was freaking out that he just woke up and disappeared for two weeks. So, there was a lot to take care of. He kinda wished it didn’t take his -friends? Yeah, let's stick with friends for now-  to get him out of class shit. Then it took Logan and him explaining to Remy that he’s okay and they don’t need to go to the police. He refused to let Janus use his magic on Remy.

Life has been very eventful recently. 

“Of course, I don’t understand the whole ‘greater education’ thing, in my personal opinion it seems like a cash grab, but I’ll do anything for you.” 

“Ugh, don’t say sappy shit like that!” Virgil covered his face, his cheeks and ears starting to turn pink then red when he heard Janus hum, not having to look up to see the soft smile on his face turn into a devilish smirk.

“But it makes you flush just the most beautiful of red, darling.”

“Stoooop” Virgil poked him in the chest hard, causing the man to chuckle deeply. The way he said darling made a wave of flutters wash over him and it was stupid that Janus was so good at it. He took another bite out of his burger, looking up at the clock on the wall. “Where are those three?”

“Well, if we know them well enough, Roman got distracted with the upcoming play, Remus is trying to blow up the science lab and Logan is making sure he doesn’t” 

“Heh, yeah.” Virgil could hear the fondness in both of their voices. He thought about the cute matching smiles on the twins' faces and the exasperated loving look in Logan’s brown eyes. So many colors, all so important. Virgil glanced out the window, thinking to himself as he stared up at the sky, thinking of the one he has yet to meet. Wondering how they were.

Roman calls them padre, saying he’s like a fun dad, who loves puns way too much and baking and cooking in general even though he doesn’t need to eat. Remus said that he can be so boring sometimes, but other times when he uses his magic, he’s so cool and funny. Logan said that he’s very physically affectionate, very sweet, and caring and he tries to be understanding. He is also very emotional and sometimes common sense flies completely over his head, but he really tries his best for all of them. Janus said that he was also fae, almost as old as he is, with the powers of an empath and nature. 

They said he was adorable and small, so very huggable and squeezable. Someone who you can place in your lap and just hug like a teddy bear and he wouldn’t complain in the slightest.

Virgil wanted to meet him, but he was so nervous.

The others explained that Patton wanted him to choose when they met. It was his choice, only when he was ready. When that time came. When he was ready to make a choice of platonic or romantic. When Virgil felt ready, not any of them, or Fate or her or anyone. Just Virgil. Even if that time took 100 years or never. They were giving him the choice that he so desperately asked for before they all met. 

They didn’t seem to mind waiting either, even when Roman would look at him with the longing of a star crossed lover or Remus would lean really close to his face only to stop himself and pull back with a faltering manic grin, or when Logan would hug him tightly during whatever anxiety attack he was having, whispering random topics to keep him distracted. When he would start to get to know Janus, finding out how the dramatic man loved to make his face the same color of a tomato and brush his skin lightly, never doing anything more and stopping when it became too much. Then Patton, also the first to cuddle him in their shared dream, sending waves of relaxing energy through him along with bundles and bundles of ‘I love you’s, not afraid to hold back even without the verbal communication.

Virgil wanted it all but wasn’t sure when the right time was- if there would ever be one. He was making their lives harder, wasn’t he?

“The main course has arrived!” The door to the comic store opened and Roman stopped through as if waiting for the imaginary audience in his head to start applauding the grand entrance. Janus, the bastard, started to clap, slow and clearly sarcastic. A few of the people reading in the lounge area of the store gave the group an annoyed stare, but Virgil didn’t care enough to stop them.

“And the side snack is here,” Remus said, shoving Roman out the way, Logan following behind them with an eye roll.

“You are both the equivalent of a Lunchables.” He said, causing Virgil to cackle at princey’s offending noises. The three all grin at him, Logan moving forward, giving a disappointed look to the dinner Virgil was eating. The mouse shrugs, shoving the last bits of his burger into his mouth before sliding the fries to Remus, knowing the male will eat anything and everything. Speaking of Remus-

“Did you go to classes wearing that skirt?” 

The wild man grins and nods, spinning around so the sparkly pink skirt fluttered up, it was a few inches above his knee and Virgil already knew that the tall man probably bent over a few times just to piss off people behind him.

“He also got into a fight,” Logan said, sounding exasperated when Remus grinned even wider.

“Got to beat the fuck out of those queerphobes!”

“Nice.” Virgil high fives the raccoon, Logan sighing more audibly this time.

“I believe the fight was more because you randomly punched him.”

“After he said to my face that a guy shouldn’t be dressing like a chick!”

“Is your shift almost up? I wanna go home and work on lines.” Roman complained, glancing over comic books that he was barely interested in. Virgil smiled and checked the time.

“Think you can wait another hour, your highness?”

They laughed at the louder groan that followed.

After the hour passed and making sure that the twins didn’t mess up the store and Janus didn’t scare or charm his customers, they were all walking out at 10:15, the comic store closed up. Virgil listened to the banter between Logan and Roman, something about Hamilton. He hasn’t seen it and he was too afraid of saying that out loud, knowing Roman would force him to see it before he can do any semblance of homework, which wouldn’t be idle since he was already so far behind.

Joan waved him off and Virgil smiled thankfully at them, knowing that they were letting him off the hook with how rambunctious his friends were. He’ll have to get them something in return, maybe some donuts or something.

They continue down the street, getting out of view of everyone as Virgil texted Remy, telling them he was spending the night with Logan, ignoring the winky face that the insomniac sent him along with ‘Have fun~’ right after. He put his phone in his pocket, seeing the group approach a split in the path. Virgil noticed the twins start to walk off, already looking a bit pale in color.

“We’ll be back before one,” Roman promises, smiling a bit nervously while Remus grabs his arm, comforting him. The twins then start off, then they seem to disappear into flashes of green and red. Virgil turned back to the other two, smiling. 

“Let's continue back, yeah?” He asked, the others giving him off looks before bringing him down the street and into an alleyway. He appreciates them worrying about him and this whole magic thing, but he'll be fine. He'll have to get used to it after all.

Janus pressed his hand onto a random door there, probably leading into the apartment complex they were standing next to. The door glowed gold before it opened up into what looked nothing like the apartment. It leads into a comfortable-looking living room, a warm orange glow from the fireplace lighting the area. The floors were wooden and the couches there looked ridiculously comfortable. The walls were lined with shelves, tables, and paintings with windows that peered out a garden. They stepped inside the room, Virgil still in awe as the door behind them shimmered then faded like it was never there. Being replaced by a simple picture that slowly shifted and changed like a slow movie, this one seemed to be the story of Medusa and Perseus. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever get used to this place. 

Like it was lead, Virgil drops his bag onto the couch, plopping down next to it and stretching, hearing some of his bones popping in protest. He huffs and pulls out his laptop from his back, vaguely aware of Logan sitting at one of the tables and doing the exact same.

“I never understood why you would do work at class, go to work, only to return home and continue working. Is that just a college thing?” Janus asked, voice more smooth and hissy as his form returned to the lamia one he normally has, body slithering around the area and coiling on a large pillow that was near the couch circle so he wouldn’t be left out. 

“It is important to get work done so we have free time without worrying about whether or not assignments have been completed, it also gives time for breaks and extracurricular activity.” Logan explained, pulling up a document and starting to scan over it, not reacting when Janus fixed his slipping glasses. Virgil lets out a small hum of agreement, pulling up a PowerPoint and an essay that was paired with it meant for his biology class, thinking about how he could connect this to his drawing 2 class. The theme was nature and life, after all, maybe he could draw something and have Logan look it over for accuracy. 

A silence fell over the trio, Janus resigning to grabbing a book and starting to read it quietly, the cold-blooded male enjoying the warmth of the fire. The fire popped and crackled, typing and page-turning the only noise they were making. It was warm and peaceful, making a small smile lift onto his lips, unable to be held down. He always wanted something like this, he never thought he would get it here, in some fae garden with his soulmates.

Soulmates.

Soulmates

That word didn’t feel so painful to think about anymore. It wasn’t so narrow and sharp, it wasn’t filled with cold and hate like it used to be. It’s no longer yelling and harsh lies and abandonment. It wasn’t shallow, but it wasn’t exactly full either, not yet.

Not… yet…

But it will be, it will be comfortable, not too hot or cold. It will be soft, not just blunt. It will be solid, there, not lost and fragile. It’ll be open, not suffocating with anticipation and worry and questions. He’ll get it so thinking about soulmates brought more than just a nice feeling, he wanted it to bring peace.

Virgil just had to get there. That’s all he has to do. Be ready for his last soulmate in sky blue.

-

So much purple and white.

They never told him what happened to the dragon witch exactly. They said she left after “activating” Virgil and they decided to go after him and not her, but he knew they were holding something back, there was a crawling feeling up his arms when he mentioned her to Roman and Logan. Janus and Remus didn’t have it. He wasn’t sure what exactly that meant, but he knew they were keeping him out of the loop.

He is assuming it’s for a good reason, but it didn’t help him feel better when he’s by himself. On days where Janus had to do that secret job, Logan was stuck doing lab work after class, Roman was at rehearsal and Remus was crashing some frat party. Virgil was alone and working through his classes alone. He had Drawing I, English, and Biology, so wasn’t seeing anyone today. His eyes flash around, the only one there is Sky, walking by his side, but no longer trying to lead him. The Coyote knows to wait for him now, and it was so pure the understanding and trust the soul animal had for him.

Sky didn’t mind as Virgil ranted about how irritating his Biology teacher was, who posted a syllabus but barely followed it, who tries to give tests about things they haven’t gone over and assignments that require expensive, multiple, textbooks. The coyote listened through his whole rant, even as Virgil put his phone to his ear so it didn’t look like he was a psychopath. 

It was peaceful until Virgil started to see a purple and white frame over his vision. He froze and looked around quickly, immediately moving faster. 

“I’m being paranoid again.” He said to the Coyote who easily kept up with the new set pace. All they were doing was walking from the corner store, a bag of ramen, drinks, and snacks in his left hand and the phone in his right hand. It was mid-afternoon, they were just returning to his dorm. He shouldn’t feel so much dread filling his lungs, but before he knows it, he’s sprinting.

His feet trip over themselves and he stumbles, coughing and coughing into a wad of blood and saliva dripping down his lips on the ground. He drops his phone and leans against the wall, trying to catch his breath while Sky whimpers beside him.

“Fine, I’m fine.” He lied, trying to pull away from the wall, but not being able to as his hand sticks to it like glue. Virgil frowns in confusion and pulls, pulling and pulling until he rips away with lines of purple still connecting him to the brick. He gasps, backing away quickly and stumbling as he falls into the street. He flinches as a horn honks loudly in his ear and his vision is fully encased in purple.

NO, fuck, not again. Not again.

“Get the hell out the middle of the road!” 

Virgil hisses at them, baring his teeth before his eyes widen in realization. He scrambles forward, pulling his hood up quickly as he stumbles into the closest alleyway. 

His chest hurt and so did his back. He falls to his knees, dropping his bag. He hacks and coughs, more blood and saliva dripping onto the floor, making a puddle. He can feel his hands sticking again, trying to pull away but failing.

“Hey! Do you need help?”

No, please, stay away.

S t a y 

S T A Y

He didn’t want to hurt anyone, but he could feel that tingling up and down his skin again as the person seemed to walk forward.

“I can call 911!” They say, a hand dropping onto his shoulder. The purple completely blinded him and he turned quickly, jumping on top of them and hissing even louder. Purple webs stuck them to the ground and the person tried to scream, only for their mouth to be covered and filled with more webs.

Distantly, he could hear a familiar voice laughing at him, praising what he was doing as the area around them grew foggy once again. It must have been all in his mind, it had to be. He has to pull himself out of this.

Patton, Please, I need help, Patton!

Then the next thing he knew, he could see light blue glowing around his hands gently. He stared down at the scared person before standing up quickly, the webs dissolving into nothing but a black shadow on the ground. The person gets up and runs, screaming bloody murder while Virgil stumbles and leans against the wall. Blue was still there. Sky was still there, watching him with worry. Virgil stared too, before he leans down, grasping the Coyote’s slightly shaggy fur.

“P L E A S E.-”

“-L e a d-”

“-m e”

The coyote backs up and rushes out the alleyway, looking left and right before starting down the street. Virgil stumbles along, blood still dripping and his sight tinted like he was wearing purple sunglasses. His back hurt, his legs felt like there was jelly all in them. His bag, snacks, phone, all forgotten as he moved down the street with the Coyote leading the way. The soul animal would stop him and push him against walls as people walked by and cars came around corners. Virgil’s breath became more shallow as all he could think about was wrapping people up and killing them. He noticed he was leaving a trail of purple and red, his skin under and over his eyes obnoxiously itchy and a pinching pain in his back anytime he even tried to move. His nails- were they still nails?- ripped apart his hoodie and arms, the fabric now sticking to his fingertips. His clothes were uncomfortable and he wanted to take them off. They were suffocating, he needed to breathe but he couldn’t because he was in public and that’s not proper. The more he panics, the stronger the urges get and the more purple the world becomes.

The coyote leads faster and Virgil is able to keep up, barely recognizing the sound of skin tearing behind him. They’re going and going, moving past familiar landmarks before Virgil realizes where they are heading.

Pop-star Cafe read on top of the building in bold letters and many swirls. Pink, blue and yellow decorated the place, making it the most vibrant setting on the street. The windows were all glass and with a simple peek inside, he could see the place looked empty.

K e e p

Virgil pushes the door open, nearly falling flat on his face, but gripping the glass instead, leaving a purple handprint in its wake. The bell above the door jingles and Virgil hisses at it like it insulted him and his ancestors. He pushes forward, the Coyote nuzzling his leg as he makes it to the desk where the cashier usually sits. 

“Hi, How-”

Virgil’s head snapped up and he’s met with bright sky blue eyes. They stare at each other, Virgil’s mouth slowly opening, blood dribbling onto the counter. 

BLUE, B L U E

“P A T T O N”

The man’s round blue eyes stared at him through rounder glasses, his slightly chubby face darted with freckles. His hair was a curly strawberry blond, messy in a delicious way. He and Virgil were actually nearly the same height, Blue being just an inch or two shorter. He wasn’t boney like Virgil though, basically the opposite. He was filled out, chubby, and soft-looking. He had an apron with khakis on, hands currently having rubber gloves on. He looked startled for a split second before his face melted into love and happiness.

-

“Stories,”

“Audience or presenter, add scores of stories over time.”

“A slew of silly videos I shared online,”

“And journals full of narratives I wrote at age nine.”

Virgil presses his face into the skin in front of him, a shiver wracking through him as gentle hands rub his back, slowly coaxing the extra limbs from their confinement in his skin. It hurt, but with the gentle blue, the feeling was numb.

“And still,” 

“I continue to write because I have more dreams to fulfill.”

“Tales I hoped to tell when I was younger,”

Sluggishly, Virgil hisses, as the hand pulls away, giving room for the new 8 spider legs to stretch out then curl around the man holding him.

K e e p

M I N E

“Ideas that I haven't made yet, but I will,

“I'll find my way with my will.”

Admittedly, the singing wasn't that great. But it still worked to calm him. He smiled lightly, hugging Blue close with his new limbs, body now being engulfed by the soft blue glow.

“There's an ebb and a flow,”

“I grow, then I make changes.”

“There are rewrites, losses, gains, and rearrangements.”

“I'm so much more uncertain than I thought I would be,”

“Who knew there'd be so many ways to be me?”

The blue person sings lightly, petting through Virgil’s soft dyed purple hair, smiling down at him when his new black eyes raise up to him. Their eyes connect and Virgil lightly hisses, his tongue rubbing against the sharp teeth in his mouth. He felt calm, but not in control of anything right now, just his thoughts as they floated through the purple mist. 

“Eggs, You may laugh, and that's great,”

“Your smiles are what make my day.”

“My self-worth's fragile like an egg,”

“When it breaks it's tough to put together again.”

Virgil wasn’t sure how he got here, really. He ran into the store and he met his last one, his last love who took him into their arms and nuzzled his cheek, whispering soft reassurances into his ear as they moved into the back of the vibrant cafe. 

The thicker man did try to talk to him, but Virgil couldn’t respond like normal. He could hiss, growl, snarl, and even shriek, but he had no control over any of it- like there was someone else driving his body this time around. Luckily, Patton didn’t seem to mind as they made a comfortable spot on the floor of the kitchen near the heated oven, the heat making the purple-tinted male hum happily.

“And salt,”

“A pinch of salt in my wounds when my friends have had enough of me.”

“It doesn't help that I'm lacking subtlety,”

“When I drop hints that I crave their company." 

The dryad started to slowly speak, explaining how Virgil doesn’t have to worry about anything but relaxing and clearing his mind. Letting the magic flow and settle down with his anxiety, it’ll be easier to control then. Virgil’s brain couldn’t really comprehend what that meant, so he just lazily nodded along, clinging to Patton like he’ll fade away if he let go for a moment. 

He listened to the man explain how the others know he’s here and they’ll meet them here soon, but Virgil has to calm down first or his inner demon will lash out at either the twins or logan.

“Alone,”

“It's hard to console myself when I feel so alone.”

“I feel like I disappear, if I don't shout ‘I'm here!’"

“If I don't make my presence known.”

They quickly learn not to use the word demon when he’s in this state. There’s a large hole in the wall full of purple webs and many damaged desserts splattered on the floor, but Patton promised him it was okay, even when he growled out multiple attempts at apologies.

“And if people see me here,

And find my face unclear”

So after calming down the feral spider, they lay on the ground, quelling the creature who’s driving Virgil’s body without his consent. It felt like they’d been on the ground for days, but it’s only been one hour, maybe less. Virgil doesn’t know, he can’t read clocks right now and he’s not even sure when he got in here. It took him a bit to realize he couldn't read anything.

“Can I help them to see me better?”

“I know I can't foresee the weather,”

“So will they accept me now or ever?”

“Who knows-”

“I hope so…”

There’s a pregnant moment of silence before the fae looks down at him and pets gently over his pale cheek. His head tilts, curly blond falling a bit into his face.

“I see you can talk now.” He says with a smile.

“Yeah, that was... I can think now, thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, kiddo! You did the clearing, I just gave you a small push.”

“Yeah, but without that… I could have hurt someone.” Virgil gets a bit quiet, looking away, pointedly ignoring the odd weight and pain in his back, causing the normal muscles there to twitch and pull while the new ones pull and push before freezing. 

“Someone once told me that worrying about what could have happened won’t change the past, you can only accept what happened and move forward.” Patton leans down and pauses then nuzzles his forehead. “You didn’t hurt anyone, you came to me because you wanted to.”

Virgil stares at the other before smiling lightly, eyes heavy. He wasn’t worried about the spider legs or the purple vision or the fact that he totally left all his belongings in some alleyway blocks away from here. It must be the blue letting him stay this calm. Instead of dwelling on it, he closes his eyes and nods.

“Kiddo?”

“Hm?”

“I’m Patton.” Virgil opens his eyes and looks up at the fae with confusion written on his face. He knew Patton’s name… 

Patton brushes his hand over his cheek.

“My name is Patton.” He repeats. Virgil blinks slowly before realization paints across his features. He smiles a bit, embarrassed.

“Hi Patton, I’m Virgil… I’m your soulmate.”

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Virgil.”

[naminethewriter]

Side Story: After He Left

Loceit Week, Day 2 and I’m already behind! 🎉🙈 Anyway, I took this opportunity to give Logan and Janus a bit more screen time in my AU. You don’t need to read the others, as it’s a prequel 😉 @loceitweek2021

Here on Ao3

Masterpost | Loceit Week Masterpost | Remus and His Daughter Masterpost

Characters: Janus, Logan, other Sides are mentioned

Relationships: platonic Loceit

Rating: G

Words: 936

Summary:  Remus disappeared a while ago and Janus broke off contact after the others didn't seem concerned. Logan goes to check on him.

Logan knocked on the door of Janus’ dorm room. They hadn’t spoken since Janus’ outburst about the others uncaring attitude towards Remus’ disappearance. Of course they had the right to be mad, his attitude towards Patton had been horrible, Logan did agree with their discontent. However, Remus suddenly breaking off all contact, dropping out of college and moving out of his apartment, disappearing who knows where, is still a concerning development. Roman wishing his brother dead was certainly an overreaction, so Logan doesn’t blame Janus for yelling, storming out and leaving all their group chats. Logan suspected that he had also blocked their numbers though he hadn’t tried to establish contact through digital means. Even Logan understood that that approach was too impersonal to truly carry his sentiment. Having not yet received an answer, Logan knocked again.

“Who is it?” Even through the door, Logan could identify the annoyance in the others tone.

 “It’s Logan. I would like to talk to you about Remus.” There was a pause, then the door swung open, revealing Janus’ sceptic face.

 “Why? You all care so much about him.”

 “I understand your position. The others have demonstrated a lack of care; however I do not agree with them. While I am also upset about his treatment of Patton, I still do see Remus as a friend and would prefer to know he is alright.” Janus stared at him for a few moments, before sighing and letting Logan enter. He took a seat on the desk chair while Janus himself sat on his bed.

 “Go on.”

 “Right.” Logan took a deep breath. “I apologize for my lack of trying in helping you locate Remus earlier. I had multiple deadlines to consider and as I have stated, I did not agree with his treatment of Patton.”

 “It’s alright. I wasn’t truly worried either until I found out he vacated his apartment and dropped out. Disappearing for a few days is not unusual for him, we all know that.” Logan nodded.

 “You have gone with him on some of those occasions, however. Are there any connections during such times you made that could be helpful in this situation?”

 “No,” Janus said and shook his head. “I did ask around a bit but no one I trust enough to tell me the truth has seen him since. Neither do any of my other contacts. I’m pretty sure he left the city.”

 “I see.” They sat in silence for a bit, quietly reflecting on the situation. “Giving the current situation and the fact that Roman was the only relative Remus was still talking to, I do not think we have other options than doing nothing and waiting for him to come back or contact us or hiring a professional to track him down.”

 “Oh, yes, Remus would love having a detective on his heels,” Janus scoffed but sighed a moment later. “I suppose you’re right. There is nothing to do but wait.”

 “There isn’t,” Logan confirmed. “But I promise you, I will tell you if I receive any new information regarding Remus.” Janus nodded at him with a small smile.

 “Thank you.” He sighed again. “It’s going to be so weird not having him around. I mean, Remus isn’t annoying at all but he is still my best friend.”

 “You two have been close since elementary school, am I correct?”

 “You are. He was the only one in our class to not find my vitiligo appalling, so he was my only friend for a long while. It was us two against the world, then later Virgil joined us and then he left again.” Logan stood and moved to sit next to Janus instead.

 “Virgil hasn’t left, Janus. He is still a part of the same friend group; he is just not as close with you as he used to be.” Janus snorted humourlessly.

 “He hates me and we both know it. Especially now since I took Remus’ side over poor happy-peppy Patton.”

 “I do not think he hates you, necessarily,” Logan contemplated. “He is angry and will not want to speak to you for a while but I do not think your relationship is beyond repair.” Janus hummed and leaned against Logan, exhausted.

 “It doesn’t matter. I don’t feel up to talking with any of them now. I’m tired of the conflicts, the barely suppressed animosities. Maybe I should use this as a break, focus on getting my degree. Will be easier without Remus around, that’s for sure.” Logan put an arm around him in a loose side hug, not used to providing comfort but sensing its necessity.

 “While I understand and respect your decision, I do hope you will allow me at least to still keep in contact with you?”

 “Oh, no, I would hate that,” Janus huffed and rolled his eyes. Logan let out a short laugh and they fell into silence for a bit, until Janus spoke up again.

 “Thank you, Logan. For coming here, checking up on me. I… I guess I was relying on Remus’ presence more than I realised and I was feeling quite lonely without him. Having you here helps.” Logan swallowed heavily, having not suspected the sudden intimacy Janus trusted him with.

 “Of course,” he said, a little chocked up. “You are a dear friend, Janus. As is Remus. I’m sure he will return soon.” Janus hummed in agreement, hoping to whatever deities were out there that the sentiment would hold true. Sadly, he wasn’t heard and it would take five long years until Logan fulfilled his promise and called him about Remus return to the city.

[fakeloveaskblog]

Hi, me again. Awwwwww! Even amongst all the angst Janus and Remy still manage to be adorably cute. Also I’m not sure of a question to ask them so I’ll just watch them silently incase they need anything. (And because I’m nosy and want to know what happens next.)

Glow Eyes

"Girl am I like losing it or has that vitiligo patch like moved..??"

Remy and Janus were laying tangled up together in the bath. The mirror had been covered in steam from how warm they had the water. The enby was mindlessly looking at their partner's (!) hand while leaning against his chest.

"Possibly. I don't keep count of my patches" Janus raised their eyebrow "My darling, why have you kept check on it"

"Well girlie you see-" Remy let out a string of incomprehensible blubbering while their cheeks turned pink.

"Ah I understand now. Very logical" They snarked back to which Remy lightly smacked their shoulder.

Remy stretched their arms like an old cat and about 5000 bones in their body instantly made such intense cracking noises it sounded like an avalanche made of bones.

"Feeling any better now after the bath?" Janus asked.

"Think so. I mean like my stomach still feels like toooots fucked up but I'm feeling less like blegh y'know. More like present I guess"

He pressed a kiss to their boney shoulder, right by a bruise that had been left after a bitemark "I'm glad then"

--

Later on in the evening the twins worked together to make dinner. Remus got to hack everything up with a sharp knife while laughing maniacally and Rowan got to pretend like she was being controlled by a magical rat.

Remy tried their best to at least get some of the noddles the twins had fixed for them down but the food came up just a few minutes later. They stuck to just sipping juice with a spoon for the rest of the night.

The evening air was still warm when Rowan left to catch a flight to some french movie screening she was going to in the morning. The apartment lulled into a quiet piece as Janus read and Remus sketched down whatever outfit Remy told him to draw.

The notification sound rang out from Janus' phone and a relaxed grin spread over their lips as they read the messages "Logan is asking me to go grocery shopping with him. Should I tell him I plan on staying over at his place or do the two of you prefer if I come back here?"

"Depends girlie. Do you want to leave us long enough to give us time to like tots destroy your whole apartment like some coked up rockstars" Remy joked back.

"Or give me enough time to steal your Remington" Remus added while jokingly flexing his muscles.

"You are going to have to avoid my booby traps to do either of those things so I believe I can leave"

"Hehe boob"

"Why're you like looking so excited to like go buying shit with the Logie guy" Remy fake gasped while nudging Remus "You think grocery shopping is a codeword for some freaky shit?"

"Cannibalism!?" Remus exclaimed "OR! Illegal Graffiting!!"

"I am simply looking forward to spending time with my boyfriend. And darling Remy once you are feeling good enough to leave the apartment again I am sure I will get just as excited to go grocery shopping with you"

Janus leant in for a kiss but hesitated and was about to ask if he could kiss them. But before he could ask Remy had already smooshed his cheeks together with their hands and kissed him right on the lips.

As soon as he had left Remus casually moved his arm around Remy's shoulders "So are they good at it?"

"What? At kissing?"

Remus raised their eyebrows while nodding.

"Fucking great girlie!"

"Hell yeah!"

The two of them high fived.

"Wanna watch a horror movie-"

"Girl. Bestie. Sweetie. You've already showed me like 6 million. How many horror flicks can there be"

"I wasn't finished. Wanna watch a horror movie...with bimbos in it?"

"You got me!"

Remus cuddled up close to them before moving a blanket around them. Ms. Carl slithered up to the coach and made her long body comfortable over their laps as they watched the movie.

By now Remus knew how much gore Remy could take so he had tried to find a more spooky and less gory film. When he knew it would probably get too bad for them he simply moved his arm around them and let them press their face against the crook of his neck until the scene was over.

While they were watching the characters running around a bunch of dark hallways Remy lightly bonked their head against their crush's shoulder to get his attention.

"You ever been thinking of like transitioning in like other ways than socially" They asked, a bit unsure of their words "'Cause I've been like talking with Janie about me maybe like wanting to like I dunno go on a smaller dose of hormones"

Remus fully turned towards them. He had instantly forgotten about the film "You do?"

"Mhm"

"And Jan's been saying?"

"Ah he's all like chill 'bout it"

At almost the exact same time both of them let up into a half forced laugh before saying "My ex wasn't!"

They looked at each other before falling into genuine laughter. Remus steadied his hand against their wrist while continuing to talk.

"I have been thinking about it. I think I would wanna do a full dose though"

"The waiting lists tho. Girl they're-"

"Fucking rough. Like being ass fucked with a cactus"

"Yeah...."

The two of them sat back and sighed. Remus rolled his thumbs for a bit before shining up and slowly turning his head to one of the dark corners of the room.

"You don't think the like supernatural weirdos could magic up some hormones?" He asked with a toothy grin.

"Bestie. You're a genius! Tho I don't think I wanna take it with like a syringe. I think E comes in pills as well"

"Hehe and I will be committing illegal testosteron crimes hehe" Remus rubbed his hands together like a sleazy villain.

"Okay but like girlie even if we like get it from the creatures we should still like check in with like a doc first 'cause I don't want my super macho bestie bro to like suddenly die from too much macho y'know?"

"Good point beanie. Good point..." He thought for a bit "Didn't Logie get a doctor's degree in college?"

"I dunno. Jannie's the one who knows him mouth inside and out"

"I think so! I was gonna go check out spiders with him next week for one of my installation ideas anyway! You could come along so we can ask him about it?"

Remy leant against his side "I like that idea"

"Great! I think there's spiders at both the zoo and aquarium so which one you'd think be better?"

"Uh-uh bestie. I'm no good at doing decision. Let the flying magic dudes make that decision"