#also it's throwing off my sense of touch which is interesting. it feels like i've stuck two fingers into superglue and let it dry

[acheronist]

so over the holidays i had to fight my brothers dog a little bit to stop her from choking on a shard of chicken bone that someone left in the park and Breaking News, sticking my hand in the mouth of a dog trying to quickly eat something she shouldn't have meant that i got bit, which is fine because i really did nawt want my family to spend christmas eve in the vet ER. but it's finally healed enough that i could take a bandage off my finger and damn the bite wound really is shaped like Exactly This Part⬇️ of a dog's jaw

[thissying]

Any max lore you wish fic writers knew about?

Hi! This turned out to be so much more and yet so much less than you probably wanted to know! If anyone feels like adding on or if you have specific questions, go ahead.

I'm not sure why you chose me for this but let me (finally) give it a go. I have to say though, that it's been ages since I've read fic (time issues and I've had my own one on my mind and I've deluded myself into thinking I will actually write it and I can't read fic because then I will lose the tiny bit of confidence and incentive I may have) so I'm not sure I know Max lore that is commonly missing from fic or that writers don't know about and should. So I'll just throw some things out there.

There are simple facts - favourite food, favourite music etc. - that can be found in most interviews (this one is 3 years old but covers that quite a bit). There's more in-depth Max lore in Whatever It Takes and Anatomy of a Champion (I don't know if you can find that subtitled anywhere though).

This is not so much lore but for young/early Max characterisation, I think if you're Dutch and you've managed to catch his early Peptalk interviews, it's obvious he's been outspoken but also has had a great sense of humour since very early on.

I don't know if it's interesting for writers but because sometimes people write Max as if he'd been a friendless loner until he met Daniel (or still is except for Daniel): he's been best friends with Stan Pex his entire life, the boy who he saw driving a kart when he was 4 years old which made him go: I want that, too. And then Jos and Stan's dad started working together and had 3 Pex kids and Max in their kart team. One of them, Jorrit, is now married to Max's aunt (Sophie's sister).

The one I found pretty shocking for a kid was that he was 11 years old when he saw a 19 year old fellow karter (Thomas Knopper) have an accident and pass away on the track.

On a brighter note. In the 'oh really, Max?' category. In the end of August 2017 episode of Peptalk, he was asked about hanging out with other drivers and Daniel in particular and he said that no, they don't hang out. He prefers hanging out with his oldest best friends. He sees him enough at the track already, you know? And then there's this picture from a few weeks before.

Max and Martin Garrix lore. In 2014 Max won the Young Talent Award that was supposed to be presented to him by Martijn but Max was in a taxi in England at the time and the live-feed kept disconnecting. They were in touch a bit after that and then they spontaneously ran into each other one time while on holiday at Ibiza and they hit it off right away ("he's also fairly normal, like me, no crazy stuff or situations.") - Formule1, 2023/2024 issue

And not just Max-specific lore but my pet peeve very important for all F1 fic writers to know: the FIA does doping testing, also during winter-break.

[outeremissary]

Longer than intended and one might read this as a Heinrix Hater Post though I swear it's not my intention, he's just become a character I have come to see interesting dynamics with in my ongoing playthroughs

I think it's funny that thanks to the two characters I've been playing in RT I have manifested into the game the Probably Not Intended Heinrix trait of "desperate to the point of depravity." Like there's something astounding about speedrunning to the high levels of heretic not seeming to impact the romance at all, so you bounce between scenes of him protesting or being shocked by the latest atrocity and him begging for attention and throwing himself at you. Makes it feel like he has absolutely no standards at the end of the day, like he'll tolerate fucking anything. I didn't start the romance on purpose and have been sustaining it by doing as little as possible on that file just to see Where The Line Is and it feels like there isn't one. You don't touch him and you're barely nice to him and you spit on everything he claims to stand for and fill the ship up with cages and flayed bodies and you have an entire actual relationship with Jae which is Extremely Public and you ask him for advice about and you fuck Marazhai and none of it even slows the dude down. Gale 2 but without any worry at all about the cheating.

And then on the OTHER hand on the other file he's chasing the much younger mutant psyker who has more in common with the Inquisition's victims than with him, someone who Very Much does not want him and barely even feels a sense of psyker solidarity. And it feels more than a little sleazy when only the precariously held position of Rogue Trader allows something like equal footing and he could so easily be their jailer rather than their companion. The guy voices open, violent contempt for mutants, callous indifference to the suffering of the disenfranchised, and easily glides along with the flow of all this hatred and cruelty and then turns around and goes "nooooo but you're different!" It provokes such an intense sense of disgust. The guy SUCKS. If he tries to pull the alpha het shit I saw post Commorragh (left behind, so sad) on my other file with Kas.... eugh. I had enough instances of "take your hands OFF of them! don't smile like that!" already.

At one point while playing through the end of Act 1 with Kas I'd made a joke about trying to shake the guy by accusing him of having a mutant fetish, but the more I thought about it the darker that felt. Here he is compelled towards people he ultimately holds the power of life and death over, shamelessly pressing on beyond any sense of boundary or decency. It inadvertently creates this disturbing undercurrent to the character, haha. Slimy!!!! Gross!!!! And while he's got this mopey thing about being bound by obligation and dehumanized, it's a hard thing of like. It's for him being a cop, man. It's for him being a cop. Even recognizing the unfairness of his position it's so hard to hold sympathy for him when he's such an active participant in atrocity and these Weird Dynamics just drive that discomfort further. His spicy forbidden loves and humanizing moments with people who have every reason to be fucking afraid of him- especially Kasander.

I find it all terribly compelling conceptually and also it means that I really have the least charitable read imaginable on the character lmao.

[spicy30]

Hellooo! 👋

I’m shy about sending an ask for the first time and I hope this isn’t too long but I just wanted to say that I’ve had a lot of fun binging your Modernness of the 1400s series. The meme compilations between chapters are great too lmao.

I hate modern aus but goddamnit I froth at the mouth for a modern person being dumped into Westeros. I think it makes me appreciate our world more, actually. Makes me think about all the things I take for granted and would miss! I’ve read a lot of stories with this premise before but you’ve given it an interesting new spin with the MC being this ambitious and trying so hard to advance society and make something of herself. She’s braver than me, I’d just spend all my time screaming, crying, throwing up in a field somewhere 🥲

Aegon singing California Love actually made me laugh out loud and I can’t get the image out of my head of Aemond trying on shades and being genuinely unsettled by them. I hope MC gets more Helaena time in the future. MC being confused and a bit scared off by Helaena’s ominous mumbling was a realistic reaction though. But being from the modern era, I think MC has the potential to be more understanding than most of the people around Helaena about things like touch aversion or sensory overload, even if she doesn’t fully understand the dreamer stuff.

Also very, very, very excited to see what you do with Winterfell, the North and Cregan Stark. Bring him to meee 👹 Aemond better watch himself - and his hands! The irony of him getting pissed at Aegon over the wife beater thing and then grabbing MC like that 😒

Oh yeah, I also love how you’ve been writing Criston. I know a lot of people hate Ser Criston so this might be a hot take but I think he’s a really interesting character and I always appreciate when writers actually give him the time of day. I’m enjoying Criston’s little POVs. His mistrust and jealousy of MC makes sense and is totally in character, his devotion to Alicent is there, and you just seem to have a deeper understanding of Criston’s perspective and character than most people are willing to give him. It’s a nice change from the straight up cartoonishly evil way he gets written sometimes (no hate to those writers, everyone’s got different takes). I could go on about Criston Cole forever so I’m going to move on —

Since the MC is going to Oldtown soon, I’ve gotta be impatient and ask, is Gwayne going to be in this story? Because he’s kind of a bitch and I love that about him. For some reason I feel like he’d just vibe with the MC in a “frenemies who flirt through insults but it’s not that serious” kind of way. Everyone else would hate that, it’d be hilarious

I’m just spitballing because I’m interested to see what’s next, but happy writing and thank you for sharing your story!

— 🌾💚🌾

Hi! OMG THIS IS SO SWEET! THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE LONG MESSAGES!

I'm so glad you are able to enjoy these chapters I've had a lot of writing them. AND I'm glad you like the memes. I usually only make them to get myself out of a writing block.

and about the modern AUs, ME TOO. It's just not my cup of tea. But I love, love, love crossovers. Be it from another show or our modern world. I LOVE IT. I love seeing interactions and inner thoughts. HEAVY on the 'makes me appreciate our world more.' Every time I think about being in old times, I just can't do it. I'm a germaphobe and I HATE being dirty. So being in old times where filth was rampant. NO THANK YOU! I read a lot of Modern!reader trying to get back home, but like if it were me? How would I do that? Like ending myself? I don't have the balls for that, so it's making the best outta nothing. But like making a whole water system is actually crazy. I wouldn't go as far as doing that, but like I wanted to write someone who is in it for glory and so they don't die or they continue to live a 'good' life (Or as good as life gets in the time period, which the life of the royals.)

As for Aegon singing, I was high while writing that and I was on the floor just thinking about it, then decided to add it in. It's just something I've been wanting to do for a while. (Mans would thrive in slutty cities.) Aemond putting on shade was so funny to me, because I was acting it out (I swear acting it out just allows you to writing it out better) and him being just so stoic with rectangular green sunglasses, again it was just so funny to me, so I added it in. If I'm gonna be honest, the only reason why reader isn't with Helaena as much, is one, yes she does creep out reader, but for the life of me, I cannot figure out how to write Helaena. (They don't give her enough screen time for me to break her down enough to give her a POV) I can definitely see reader understanding that shes on the spectrum, and I can also see her kinda be like 'Oh dear...shes schizophrenic.' and then be like floored later on in chapters when her prophecies come true then be like 'oh...she wasn't schizophrenic.' (While reader understands the concept that there are dragons, I don't think she really understands that there is like real magic, simply bc she hasn't seen it at all. In her mind, dragons are a twist of evolution. Very logical stance instead of like 'omg magic and witches and gods are real and can actively make their presence known.) When Viserys and Aemond mentioned dreamers, readers kinda like "yeah okay, so they lived on a volcano, not that hard to predict." She is unaware of the terrors Old Valyria holds.

YES, I AM VERY EXCITED TO WRITE FOR CREGAN (Even if I do struggle with it sometimes.) Winterfell will be a fun arc, a kind of either breaking point or something else, but a very important arc. As for the whole Aemond situation, it was only a matter of time. Def does not take kindly to be the last to know things about someone he's sleeping with, and with his ego, yeah. Also in my mind and from what I've seen, Aemond doesn't have any regard for human life, not after he crossed the line with Luke. But I feel like Aemond only rlly recognizes ppl that are in his standing, anyone else is like below him, and reader even so bc shes not even from Westeros. To him, I think he sees her like an exotic pet. Something that belongs to him bc he claimed it first (Though it was shattered when he saw the pictures of reader with a boyfriend and the "intimate" letters with Jace) so it led to him not knowing how to respond but with violence bc its all he knows. (Most likely an effect from Alicent's abusive tendencies to her own children) But with Helaena it's different bc one, its his sister, secondly, she is a Targ and has a higher position than him, so to see Aegon even entertain that idea is absurd to him. (everyone in team green is a hypocrite)

I LOVED writing that POV. I'm very happy with it and tbh I love MCrispin. He just can't over one heartbreak (Like middle school boys who get 'played' and can't get over it) but honestly, I'm in love with him. (I CAN CHANGE HIM, I WILL GO SELL ORANGES WITH HIM) But I don't think he ever loved Nrya. It's more so he's heartbroken bc he can't live an honest life bc he doesn't have the willpower to repent and there haven't been any real consequences. So in turn he became someone who fits the role his life has forced him to be a hypocrite. So seeing someone living in their truth so openly when he wasn't allowed to, it does drive the sense of jealousy and loathing which is just a projection of self-loathing. I don't vibe with the idea of just straight-up evil (Bc I can't understand it, and if I can't understand it, I can't write it well.) Also, there is ALWAYS more, whether it be a 'justified' reason or not, I crave a deeper understanding of characters. (Pls keep going, I love that man and I love writing for him)

If I'm gonna be honest, Gwayne has never graced my screen. (I haven't watched season two only clips to try and break down characters. (Rhaenys is still very much alive to me.) I've only seen the first two episodes) and I forgot about him 💀. Now that you mention it, he most likely will. But with his devotion to his sister, I doubt he'll get along well with her. (But who knows) I don't think reader's personality will shine through as much (Being playful and carefree) simply bc Aemond's actions have kinda like muted her in a way. (Domestic abuse and blackmail tends to have that effect on ppl.)

In any case, thank you for your ask! It was very sweet!

[red-umbrella-811]

Okay, so I wrote this on reddit to a depression doomer, but I want someone who might have an iota of openness to considering it to read it, so I'm posting it here. I assume there will be doomers here too, because depression is depressing. All of these things are things that I've tried, and all of them are things that have made my life better than it was before. All of them I have started in an incredibly janky way and they've still helped. If anyone is interested (or I receive the same combination of depression-based hostility and intense focus), I'll make separate posts on how to actually do the thing.

Things that might make a person's depression improve that don't involved going to a therapist:

Aerobic exercise 4x/week

Membership in a community/close relationships/human touch/human interaction. I'm bundling these together, because in a practical sense, you're making about the same decisions yourself, and the interactions with other people will follow. I recommend finding a "Third Place," such as a sports league or dance community (see exercise), game/knitting/metaphysical store, bar, cafe, meetup group, adult learning class, regular volunteering gig, music venue, RPG group, book club, brunch group...you get the idea. The best ones are open to the public if you're socially isolated or looking to date, because you'll meet a greater variety of people, but anywhere where the same amorphous or literal group of people shows up at a place and time will help you build relationships.

Omega 3 Fatty acids, Vitamin D, Vitamin B-complex, Magnesium: I'm not a doctor and this is not medical advice. They might give you energy and run your body more smoothly.

St. John's Wort: I'm giving this its own thing because the above are supplements that the body gets in its diet, this is a drug™, but you can purchase it over the counter. It inhibits the reuptake of serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine, for which there is some evidence that it helps depression on a chemical level. It has mad drug interactions and PLEASE do your research before taking it.

A lot of things in the cognitive behavioral therapy realm. Gratitude practices, affirmations, I'm sure there are CBT workbooks for depression that one could find. The idea is to reframe your thoughts to make sure they are a) true and b) priming you to feel emotions and take actions that will make your life suck less.

Going outside. Living in a suboptimal space is depressing, and so many of us do it. We do better when we see and hear trees. We do better when we see and feel the sun. We process things when our brains run electricity back and forth between the two sides, as happens when walking (drumming is also good for this, or bilateral stimulation from something else).

Accomplish things. I know. This, even more than the many difficult things I've listed, probably feels impossible, but I'm writing it anyway, because it really does help. If you have small tasks you've been putting off, try and get one done. Break up big tasks into accomplishable steps. Not like "Clean the house" to "Clean the bathroom," like "Clean the house" to "throw all the trash on the couch in the trash can" or "get out all the products to clean the bathroom" (the second kind doesn't vibe with me but some people like it)

You'll notice none of this is going to fix the world, except for the shitty little corner the person doing it is sitting in. That's the point. There is so much wrong with the world, and it asks a lot of us to fix it: our labor, yes, and also our joy. And also, our ability to get out of bed in the morning, our ability to send emails, our ability to check in on each other, our ability to keep ourselves out of entanglements with the state and other institutions. I'm not saying this because it's fair, I'm saying it because it's the way out I see in front of us.

[hadescabin]

why do you want to get rid of tigerdove instead of trying to fix it??? no shade or anything.

TW// GROOMING, MANIPULATION because quite honestly, there's nothing there to fix. it's just bad from the bottom down. i've seen really great rewrite aus that age tigerheart down to dovewing's age, so that they pursue each other as apprentices, which is something i considered doing since it doesn't really change much in terms of the story. however, i've come to the realization that the age gap isn't the only thing wrong with the relationship. That aside, Tigerheart is very manipulative and awful towards Dovewing, throughout the entirety of the time they've known each other, and even now that they have kits. Someone in my TigerDove is grooming post brought up a great example of how he even went out of his way to have a whole incel breakdown to Ivypool when she stood up for herself and cut off their relationship when he was trying to pressure her back in.

("Your sister who I've groomed since she was 13 put her friends and family over me" is a crazy thing to say and rage about btw. People like to say that bumbledove is worse for the incel stuff, have completely forgotten that Tigerheart, or many men in the series really, throw a fit when they don't get what they want. It's just worse when you keep in mind that he spends 4 books isolating and manipulating her into a relationship with him since the moment she was a child, and lovebombing her when she fights back. See: their argument about Dawnpelt in The Last Hope). People seem to have this misguided view that Tigerheartstar is this sweet himbo blorbo who loves his wife and kids, when in reality he's the complete opposite. Canon establishes him as someone who is very sneaky and great at manipulating the people around him to get what he wants. This isn't just an "Ivypool is biased" thing (though I do admit that she does hold some), it's just canonically established as the type of person tigerheart is.

(This actually isn't the first time someone points it out in the book, though I decided to stick with Squilf since she is a lot more reliable than someone like Bramblestar LOL). While it's certainly true that he cares a lot about his family, to the point where he selfishly puts them above everything else, it's also true that he just isn't the best father. Let's not forget how he actively victim blamed Shadowsight for being manipulated by Ashfur, and ordered him to constantly remain in close proximity to care for someone who took advantage of him. Between that and him kicking out nomads from their own territory, Tigerheartstar can be interesting in the way that he's consistently written as having these glaring flaws such as poor judgement and selfishness. Which, as much as I hate the guy, I do like that about him, and therefore wish to keep that in. However, I run into 2 problems. To start off, I don't feel comfortable writing a grooming relationship in my rewrite, it's not a subject I wish to touch. Second of all, even if I do age down Tigerheartstar, I really don't want Dovewing to be trapped in an abusive relationship, especially since her arc is about escaping that. It wouldn't make sense for her to escape to the same clan of the guy who manipulated her. It honestly makes more sense if they just remain good friends, not every forbidden meetup plot line needs to be romantic (like Firestar sneaking out to meet Princess). Maybe there will be a point in time where Tigerheart(or Goldenheart/paw in my rewrite) tricks Dovepaw for herbs or something, but it's established as awful on his part, and it very much nearly ends their friendship, which serves as a small wakeup call for him (Goldenheart is very spoiled in my rewrite so he's just used to doing whatever to get what he wants even at the expense of others). I don't know though, I still need to workshop it. TLDR: Outside of the massive age gap, similarly to relationships like BrambleSquirrel, TigerDove is unintentionally written to be too toxic (in this case it's grooming) for me to try and fix. "Fixing" TigerDove, would be "fixing" Tigerheartstar, which you really can't do, since him being awful is just his character. I really don't feel comfortable trying to pretty up a grooming relationship anyways, best to cut it out. edit: i decided the "evidence" i used with jayfeather wasn't exactly accurate in showing what I was trying to say, and that it would be best to cite from a more recent book. so i decided to replace it with an excerpt from Squirrelflight's Hope. dont get me wrong though it's still very much an example of him being antagonistic in the series even way back during OOTS.

[mdhwrites]

Going back through TOH's episodes, it strikes me how boring they are. Part of the problem seems to be how criminally unfunny the show is, generally speaking. I can count how many times I've laughed on one hand. In fact I can list them:

There was the "It's been my dream since I was a boy" guy pushing kids off cliffs (Moving Hassle), Luz's "He'll be fine" after throwing Hunter overboard - and then his subsequent re-entry (Hunting Palismen) - and lastly Luz tumbling offscreen in front of Amity after a spider crawls on her face (Grom). That's 3 scenes, 4 jokes if we're being charitable. And sure, maybe my sense of humour is just incompatible with TOH's and I'm being harsh.

But I can't deny that I just feel like there's no rewatch value in TOH? Like it's just... the jokes are so bad to the point it's not fun, it's not entertaining, it's a slog, I see no value in retreading the same ground. And I am a SERIAL rewatcher! This is coming from someone who spends maybe 85% of their time experiencing the same stories! I love seeing well-done media all over again, because even if I know what's going to happen or what they will say, a well-structured joke or a skillfully delivered line is still gonna engage me.

I can't even recommend the show to anyone because I HAVE in the past... and what ends up happening is they watch the first couple episodes, get bored, go "I recognize that you like this, but it's not my thing" and drop it. And I CAN'T BLAME THAT! Because that's how I reacted too when I got into the show! I only stuck with it because it seemed like it was going really interesting places. And it tried to, I think, and failed.

I'm also a very fandom-heavy person so TOH's boring episodes have made it increasingly harder for me to stay within it. Because I'm not rewatching anything, I can see myself in real time as I forget more and more of the plotlines, and even a lot of the characters. It's just... kind of disappointing. It's like I just had a gradual fizzling out of interest. I don't even hate the show, which might be better in some ways - instead I just can't muster enough shits to feel any type of way towards it.

I rambled a bit but I guess my ultimate ask here was: what are your thoughts on whether or not TOH manages to entertain new/old viewers?

So I like S1. I think the characters are what carry it and that they are at their most interesting, EASILY, in S1.

The vast majority of S1, in terms of concepts and executions for plots, is OKAY AT BEST.

This actually just comes down to a simple tonal decision of TOH and also just the fact that a boring world with boring magic creates little to do with bog standard plots and TOH actually has a LOT of bog standard plotting. It is a pretty classic story structurally and takes genuinely very few risks in the structure... Which is okay in theory.

There is nothing wrong with not reinventing the wheel and TOH talks a big game about subverting tropes but no. As a fantasy fan, I can tell you this is EXCEPTIONALLY normal. Like... Insultingly from how much it talks a big game. Especially because if you're going to do classic, you have three options: Shoot the moon, lean into the unique elements of your concept or do it VERY. VERY. WELL.

And remember: They did a body swap episode and it is one of the most hated episodes of the entire show. That's not a good sign.

But this touches on the second problem I brought up: This is a boring world with boring magic. Because TOH's fantasy world is so basic, has little magic and little flair with its magic, it inherently limits what it can do. Now, it doesn't have to be this way but the show made it this way with how little we see of it, how limited it is (like how plant magic is 99% vines), and how often it just blatantly makes one to one comparisons between it and our world with effectively NOTHING altered like how the covens are just jobs, right down to them being introduced through a job fair and a boring one at that.

So when we look at a classic episode concept like the body swap episode, the three plots are... Easily replicated elsewhere. One person gets in trouble in the swap's job because they don't know what they're doing (with the most unique twist of this actually landing them in prison), a classic animal plot where they're taken in by a place that seems cozy and then isn't with literally no changes, and finally... Teenager pisses off bullies and agrees to jump DEAD MAN'S GORGE! But instead of skateboards and people really building it up, its rat beasts.

None of these plots are actually bad, they're go tos for a reason, but... No one is bringing anything special to this. Luz is entirely ignored so her character may as well not matter, Eda is doing NOTHING to add to her plot and King... King is fun for about two minutes leading the bullies and otherwise is just any other character in this situation. It's not bad, I personally enjoy parts of the episode... But it's nothing special. From the second the thing that X character is going to do is revealed, you can guess every step of the plot and they don't even really throw in good jokes in the process. A couple jokes but nothing memorable because everything is weirdly subdued compared to how other shows would be, even in an episode that is definitely trying to be more over the top.

And this runs into the inherent tonal issue of TOH: It doesn't want to be an adventure comedy. Those are genres that are commonly really over the top. They hear jump the shark and go "How about a shark jumping ten other sharks in order to finish making a can of tuna for their fire giant overlord?" And the face of this fact, in that the genres it pitches itself as for the first two episodes!

TOH flatly refuses to be silly and over the top. It's characters are very... 'realistic'. I don't mean real, just that they're meant to feel more mature by being more in control. They don't let them interrupt each other for a joke, they don't let a character be potentially OOC for a one off gag like Hop Pop screaming "EAT THE RICH!" or Sprig asking "Have you ever killed a a man, Hop Pop," and I can only think of one time Luz got mad for the sake of a joke and honestly, yelling about the Rusty Smidge barely comes across as a joke because of how genuine the anger feels after a point. Otherwise, stuff that would normally get exaggerated frustration or the like to at least let you laugh at the reaction just... doesn't get one, like how Luz yells about Luzura being killed off but then... Just walks off and is passive aggressive mostly instead of even exasperated. For a drama or romance, this is not a bad approach but for even just an adventure kid's show... It's not great to put it mildly because people meet odd situations with weird levels of nonchalance. Not quite irony poisoned levels but getting there.

It's why TOH is mostly remembered for the romance and drama episodes. Not only do they allow some of the romance scenes to actually include melodrama, they also just fit how the characters act better. It's why Amity has some of the biggest emotions of the series and why Lumity have such great lines between each other because they're actually willing to lean into the sort of genre fiction that they're doing. This is also why S2 works better than S1 because a lot of the pretense of being a comedy adventure gets dropped but like... There's still plenty of boring in S2 with stuff like how Elsewhere Elsewhen takes time travel and includes a couple jokes at the beginning and then is just... horribly bland and barely qualifies as an adventure.

This lack of allowing people to be emotional and jokey also leads to the reliance on comic relief characters. People like Gus, King or Hooty, or S2 Lilith, who the characters can mock in someway, including the writers. Characters who can be the punchline even if it means a lot of people come off a lot meaner than they should, i.e. Luz absolutely rejecting Hooty for the vast majority of the series despite supposedly liking the weird and rejected. That also means that most of the time they're not on screen, either the scene starts getting pretty dry or you have a character suddenly warp to be comic relief, like how Eda gets in some S2 episodes like Elsewhere Elsewhen or Eclipse Lake where suddenly she's MUCH more of a joke than she normally is and also REALLY bad at it too and seeming potentially brain dead for it. Thanks to Them even does this to Amity even though she is probably the last person in the cast to make sense as a sudden clutz.

All of this stuff makes it so that if you go in wanting a kid's show, a fantasy show, ANYTHING that is pitched in the first episode... S1 is going to be just okay to you. I enjoyed it... But I also fell off when I first watched it. I thought the characters were good but none of it stuck with me as actually memorable and I watched until I think Adventure in the Elements. I never was never compelled to come back until Lumity animations (literally THE Little Miss Perfect animatic that is nowadays probably hard to find actually) made me go "I remember this show being neat." And Lumity was what kept me, not because I was generally laughing or calling these episodes something special. In fact, that sense of unsatisfaction is probably why I watched through it faster than Amphibia. No one episode of TOH is really great to watch on its own because... It's just kind of boring, or like half of it is boring because the B plots across the board are SO BLAND. S1 or 2 for that matter since Lumity starts getting boring B plots like with the archives or finding out the author of Azura. Both concepts btw that could have been really interesting setups and instead... If you're not into blushing Amity, get FUUUUUCKED.

That's without getting into REPETITION. Repetition kills comedy so King having one joke for S1 and also taking up like half of the B plots for the first ten episodes means you are going to be in agony eventually anytime someone talks to him because you know where it's going and you have DEFINITELY heard this joke before. And you know, he also gets three repetitive B plots which just hurts the joke even more, even as they try to make twists on it, and hurts the feeling that the show is doing... Anything..

It's just not good. Which is probably why once the characters and the 'subversive/unique' elements of the show both weakened, more and more people left because... Why would you keep watching this then? Those elements are what made up for boring plots with boring execution in a world that didn't allow for more interesting storytelling because it had few ideas and expanded on NONE OF THEM. So of course people pitch it using the elements that say "this isn't like other kids shows/fantasy shows" because if you pitch it to people who like those... They'll just be disappointed eventually and bored quickly. Like i think a lot of people did to be quite honest.

And a lack of creativity, and a lack of genre understanding, isn't something time could have ever fixed.

======+++++======

The short version of proving this point btw is going "Compare Bumi's introductory episode, which is a character giving three trials to prove another's worth, versus when the Bat Queen challenges Luz. One is exceptionally funny, interesting and has genuinely interesting twists while the other is... There. So very there. Painfully just... there. Not even bad, just... There.

Also, yes, comedy is extremely subjective which is why I tried to talk more about how a lot of these premises are boring because that can be a bit more objective.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past.

I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead.

If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[bnomiko]

Nocturne ramblings, with spoilers

(This is NOT a rant post. Nor specifically a spoiler post. I'm just making observations and babbling shit about some of the characters in Nocturne thus far.)

I did a spoiler-free ramble post, now time for the other side of the coin, just to let loose a bit...

**SPOILERS** ahoy for Castlevania: Nocturne, S1.

Vampires in general

I'm very happy to see some souped up vampires. Let's face it, the majority of them in the original animation weren't exactly impressive. They were basically people with pointy teeth and like 1 special ability. The fact that 2 1/2 humans could walk into a castle and just waste twenty or thirty of them without taking damage (other than Alucard taking a fist to the mug) felt a bit lackluster.

Oh, but there's a LOT of vampires touching sunlight that aren't going up in flames. You can't just hold a parasol over one and expect them not to combust : p

Olrox

I said it before, but seriously, give a raise to whoever did his character design. He's absolutely delicious. Those cheekbones! The dragon's eyes! I want to roll myself in his hair like a bug in a rug then slap those meaty thighs...

I've also watched all his interactions with Mizrak again. I don't understand how the two of them make so much more sense (given that they literally went from "You know my name, tell me yours" to fucking to "I don't love you" to … maybe I do…), than like, canon pairing Richter and Annette, who feel about as compelling as a piece of dry toast.

I truly hope he continues playing a little on both sides of the fence. It makes him so much more interesting than the majority of the characters who are simply on one side or the other.

Juste

I admit I got all excited thinking he was Alucard in a glamour at first, because when you first see his eyes, there's a gold gleam (of course the second he touched the whip I went, "Ahh, it's Juste.")

I'm sure it's more that his eyes appear to be a very light gray and catch any candle/firelight, but I'd rather think that the animators were being cheeky and hiding a reference to the fact that when HoD came out, some fans were convinced Juste was Alucard's son.

Talking about who looks like who's offspring, uh… I almost question if Maxim was doing some sneaking. Doesn't Julia look more like Maxim?? Since they threw out Vampire Killer clause #1, why not throw out the rest of it?

(I mean... really, who would you think was daddy?)

Also… I honestly do feel badly for Juste. He's always been one of the forgotten Belmonts, but maybe he was better off forgotten as I think most headcanons imagined him living a quiet retirement with his wife and their husband, surrounded by a massive stockpile of overly gaudy home furnishings, with little grandson Richter visiting and getting lost in all the furniture : )

Maria

I already made mention of the fact that she's all of 12 in game canon (and apparently 16 in Nocturne), which makes it all the more awkward that her future boyfriend's already made his appearance when she hasn't even hit her teens yet. I mean… how is that going to work?

(Sorry, can't resist reusing this, Richter's reaction is too funny.)

I feel ya, bro.

Tera

I was so young and naive when I read The Scarlet Letter that I didn't actually get what it was about at the time lol… actually took me years to figure it out. And… yeah, that's it. That's my comment.

Emmanuel (the abbot)

This guy will never get the death he actually deserves. It'll probably be something relatively quick, like falling into a pit of lava *shrug*

Drolta

Kind of a shame to off her so soon. Her latex collection was impressive.

Erzsebet

Carmilla?

And of course, Alucard

Okay, I get that he probably just woke up, but maybe a few strokes with a hairbrush before you run out the door, eh buddy?

Compare to Alucard in the mini artbook/manga for SotN (look at those crisp curls!) waking up after his 300 year nap:

I don't mind the "washed out" palette as much as others do. He was pretty much the textbook definition of pale in SotN anyhow.

Actually it would've been really damn funny if he'd showed up in his pajamas, screaming, "I hope I'm not too… wait, what year is it?" *looks at Maria* "Fuck I'm too early!"

[crazylittlejester]

DAILY BRAINROT

Disclaimer: If nothing I say makes sense, it's probably because I'm so stressed I almost set the microwave on fire.

I'm glad to see that the Warriors knits headcanon is alive and well. In fact, it is thriving. This brings me immense joy because I've been losing my mind over it for the past several months, and it looks like it's here to stay. :) The best part is when someone writes a scene where Legend is embroidering/sewing and Warriors is knitting, and they're BONDING OVER THEIR CRAFTS.

In other news, I am seriously considering making glowing Warriors' power and having it be kind of like those glow-in-the-dark stickers people put on the ceilings of their kids' bedrooms. Hear me out. He can be powered by the sun, like a solar panel, and store the extra energy to do Cool Superhero Stuff with. The unfortunate side effect being that he tends to burn off excess energy by glowing in the dark. This means he has been explicitly banned from working night shifts because his cover would be blown.

It also means that he's the perfect nightlight for kids with nightmares.

I'm really looking forward to writing up more of the first meeting stories now that I've gotten the one about Legend & Wild posted, but since I'm making myself wait until I get the next chapter of Hyrule's fic up I'm just going to ramble at you about it instead.

I haven't decided which one to do next, but I have thought about the one for the trio (I also need a better name to refer to them). Anyway, I'm thinking that Twilight and Warriors actually grew up knowing each other, but sort of lost touch for a little while. Twilight was busy with the Twili stuff and getting used to his new abilities, while Warriors was in the middle of the mess with Cia. Sometime after that, they get back in touch, and they've both decided that they want to move out. Twilight wants to leave Ordon because he feels uncomfortable there now, and Warriors wants to move to a different district in Castletown to avoid anything related to Cia. Right around the same time, Sky is looking for roommates because he doesn't want to go to college in Skyloft or something. Ghirahim probably has something to do with it because I kind of doubt that he'd be very chill about Sky killing his master... Regardless, they get introduced to each other and the rest is history.

Slightly related to that, Sky is going to be an interesting combination of ideas here and is quickly becoming a favorite of mine for this project. He's kind of similar to Time because he's an incredibly powerful individual that dropped off the radar. He showed up, kicked villain butt, and then vanished (curtesy of Sun). I'm poking him because I have a lot of ideas about that. Maybe he doesn't like thinking about it? Maybe he doesn't remember what he did? Maybe it wasn't actually him and he was just possessed or something? Could he maybe be the source material for the experiment that made Wild? Is he just like this or is it trauma or his power(s) or did someone else do this to him?

Gnawing on all these questions as if I don't have things due tonight.

IM SO SORRY DUDE. they call me the kitchen appliance killer, i think the only thing safe from me is the stove and the blender- but i’m also afraid of fire so like, i don’t go near the stove anyway lmao 🕺 but fr I really hope you feel less stressed :(

YES YES YES. I love the wars knits headcanon it’s everything to me, i’ve been tryin to find a good place to throw it in a fic. AND WARS AND LEGEND BONDING OVER CRAFTS IS JUST PEAK

DO IT. DO IT, TAKE MY FUCKING MONEY. /j SOLAR POWERED NIGHT LIGHT GLOWSTICK WARS IS EVERYTHING TO ME

ooooooh okay okay, i like it >:)

istg the ‘hero/vigilante’ type au turning sky into peoples favorites is a real thing, it happened to me writing FH9. He’s my FAVORITE character in that ENTIRE au 😭 im so excited to see what you do with him in this 👁️👁️

remember to take care of yourself 🫶 get some water and snacks if you need em

[mariyekos]

3, 5, and 14 for the fandom/fanfic asks!

Fandom/Fanfic Asks!

3. All-time favorite pairing?

Hmmm, good question. Probable Tidus/Yuna from FFX? I absolutely ADORE their relationship. It felt very natural, it was touching, and thinking about some of their scenes is giving me the chill. So often in media I feel like a relationship is rushed or stilted or like one of the characters is bent out of shape solely for the sake of romance, but not with them. They bring out the best in each other, and what I find so important is the fact that even though their love/relationship DOE make them reconsider some choices...they don't throw everything away for that. I think their relationship and interactions lead to cases in which their eyes are opened and they undergo some change, but what's important is that they're not changing for the other person. The other person gives them a new perspective that allows them to grow.

FFX is interesting to me because even though I don't know it like the back of my hand as I do with FFVII (or once did, it's been a while), so many of the scenes and messages have stuck with me a decade and a few playthroughs later. The Sending and this scene are some of my all time favorites in gaming. They're just so in love.

I know I'm being a bit vague, but I don't want to spoil anything for anyone who hasn't played FFX. Though if you haven't played FFX, DO NOT WATCH THAT VIDEO. The video has spoilers even if my commentary (hopefully) does not.

(Also, I'll have you know Estimeric is definitely up there as it's the pairing I've written the most for and one I've spent sooo much time thinking about, but Tidus/Yuna wins out because I think it's impacted me more as a person, or stuck with me longer. Estimeric is lovely, but Tidus/Yuna is precious. That may or may not make sense, but they occupy different spots in my brain, basically.)

5. Favorite platonic pairing?

Right now I'm super into Devil May Cry so I'm going to go with Dante/Lady. I feel like those two would do basically anything for the other, and I really enjoy when you can get a long term friendship between a male and female character that's just that. Sometimes I'll ship it and I've enjoyed ship content between the two, but I really prefer them as platonic partners. Or sometimes FWB without romantic attachment, which I clarify because I've always thought of "platonic" as meaning non-romantic but apparently it means non-sexual, which leads to some conversations about the conflation between romantic and sexual attraction but I digress. Usually I like them as just friends. The FWB is actually more like a HC of two people who slept with each other once (and only once) when they were young to see what it was like and then decided that nah, they're not really into that, they're better off as friends and they'll stay friends, no hard feelings, so they do.

14. Fandom you keep returning to?

Final Fantasy VII! I was absolutely obsessed with it when I was 13-14 (maybe up to 15), and every few years I go through a phase where I feel like that obsession has woken back up.

Funnily enough, I've never really shared anything I've made for the FFVII fandom. I've written so much fic over the years- the first fic I can remember writing was a 38k word time travel fic about FFVII when I was 14ish- but I've never posted any of it. I ran a FFVII blog for years, but it's on another email and eventually it got so inconvenient to access that I kind of let it die. The remake coming out has helped somewhat, but other times I'll just randomly feel like I want to play FFVII or want to read FFVII fic or look at FFIVI art or watch FFVII videos etc. and so I come crawling back.

Thank you so much for your asks! Fun to think about these things and what my favorites are. Honestly one of the biggest things this game has revealed is that I don't really have a lot of hard/firm feelings on things. I'm very indecisive and choosing favorites is hard, but it's nice to be reminded of all the things I love as I try to come up with my answers :)

[halfsizehellboy]

wilson being primarily sensory avoidant makes so much sense to me. He’s on the quieter side, I've mentioned light sensitivity before, and he is super tame compared to house, who is definitely sensory seeking in a lot of ways. We've seen both of them forgo crowded parties or social events, either together or separately. wilson can’t keep his mask that long, and house just doesn't get along with people. I also don't think wilson likes the complexity of noise that is dozens of conversations, eating noises, background music, and appliance electricity that makes up a social dinner event. He likes to attend the talks and lectures because then at least only one person is talking. He likes it to be quiet and dark when he’s tired, and it’s the one thing he’s been able to enforce in his and house’s apartment. I think wilson’s got that light-touch aversion, so if you bear hug him and slap him on the shoulder every once in a while he’s all good. He definitely owns a weighted blanket. 

Which makes poetic sense that house is sensory seeking— his nerves are fucked from surgery and vicodin, and he doesn’t always feel stuff like he used to, but he still looks for stimulation everywhere. He blasts his music, throws his ball around, and starts arguments because that’s a fun thing for him. Sex is sensory, and he seeks that out too. He drinks alcohol because it makes him feel more that he wants and a little less of his leg. Jumping off the balcony into the pool? Sensory seeking that adrenaline rush. He spends that entire episode trying to drown out his bad feelings with good feelings. 

Their apartment is insane, and it took a long time to balance it. Their bedroom is soundproofed for many reasons, and once they’ve organized it how they like it it rarely changes (sometimes wilson will feel insane and reorganize the kitchen or bathroom). Their bedroom has always stayed the same. Wilson has a home office in the other bedroom that is always supposed to be a quiet zone, and House doesn’t take home work. They have two wheely office chairs though, because sometimes house’s leg can’t be weight bearing and he still needs to get around the apartment. There’s a designated sensory sheet, which is for hiding under or dimming lights. 

They sleep in ways that accommodate house’s leg, but wilson usually smashes his face against house’s chest/neck/back. sometimes wilson scratches his scalp more as stimming/compulsion or a habit, but it can quickly get to be harmful because it’s so often a bad times thing. if they’re at home, house will replace wilson’s hands with his own and scratch more with his fingertips than his nails, or just pets his head for a while. At the hospital he just slaps at wilson’s hands because it’s funnier. 

wilson does not have many sensory toys/fidgets or external regulation things, if he needs one he’ll usually just borrow one of house’s (with permission bc house needs to know where things are all the time). But he does have two rubbery sensory brush things (I'm projecting they're called tactile tigers. I have cried over almost losing one and I will be buried with mine. I also have two because one stays in my room and one goes everywhere outside my room) that he adores. He doesn't need them all the time but he always has one. He rubs it on the back of his neck, in his hands, all over his arms, even on his face. He absolutely keeps stealing the shot blockers from the peds wing because they’re awesome for fidgeting, and sometimes he needs one for his patients too. 

Ok, hear me out on this: I usually get tired of cgi/ newer movies because they don't interest me a lot, and I can like. Tell whats computered and what’s real. there’s less joy in it for me to figure out how they did it. I think wilson is the same way. Older movies had less tech, so they had to get creative with how they make things: jurassic park’s giant animatronic t rex, chocolate syrup blood in black and white movies, and all those other practical effects that lower/mid budget movies used to use. It’s often so much more interesting to recognize the spray painted oven mitt slug or the tinsel-wrapped terrier, than it is to see a completely computer generated creature. I am not shitting on CGI or CGI artists!! It’s super cool tech and an awesome profession!! I just have eyes that fatigue very easily, and older movies aren’t as HD ergo not as hard on my eyes. And I like figuring out how they did practical effects and I think wilson would really like that too. 

I think next i’m gonna ramble about sexy things?? I feel insane

[tadpolesonalgae]

i've seen a lot of people saying they'd want cbmthy reader to end up in spring but i don't see it. reader only seems to have a bad relationship with az (and even that is not a harmful relationship per se, as much of an asshole as he's being i think he would protect her like he protects the rest of the ic and the night court) so going to spring makes no sense since 1. tamlin hurt her sister and 2. said sister damn near destroyed his court (actually kind of hate that she did that that way too but) and reader ending up there but still being on good terms with the night court just doesn't really make sense to me. also tamlin acts like a republican, he gave me the ick beyond repair, i know some people want a redemption (and i accept that) but id rather not have to read about him.

my personal feelings aside i think if reader really doesn't end up with azriel (which i think wouldn't make sense because then all the hurt would be for nothing) the best bets for her to move would be autumn with eris but only if eris is already high lord because subjecting her to beron would suck, the day court since helion is the closest to the night court and they trust him also she would love the libraries or she could replace lucien with vassa and jurian (or join him if he doesnt end up with elain or in the day court), the winter court maybe but only for the fact that it's tje other court that seems closer to the night court mostly because of vivianne. or my favorite which is just staying home lol her family is in the night court so even if her and az dont end up together she deserves to be able to stay there with her family as much as him. azriel loved mor for 500 years and knew she didnt love him back but they both still managed to act civil and be friends. even if az hurt reader more i hope it wouldn't be to the point of them not being able to be civil so they could just stay, and they live forever so she'd get over her feelings eventually and find someone new. moving a character away when something bad or a breakup happen is something i always disliked so maybe that's why im giving it so much thought but it really always feels off because what do u mean you can't both keep your family/friends? if nothing truly bad happens why does one character always have to leave? idk

before i finish i just wanna say im not trying to be mean or speak over anyone that has said they'd like her to be in spring. i just wanted to add my opinion but i know over writing like this we cant really convey much emotion so i dont want to sound mean or anything

First of all, I didn’t think you were being mean at all, but thank you for adding that clarification anyway :)

Secondly, to be fair, for me it’s not so much as where she goes rather that she simply needs some time elsewhere. Nothing permanent, but a shift in scene because she’s caught in stale waters and if nothing changes she won’t ever learn to step forward and progress. Also, while the idea of her going to the Spring Court is—I think—very fun, and would be like throwing a spanner in the works, I feel there are only really two places she could go that would make sense to the story, and neither of those are the Spring Court (as interesting as it could be)

Also, I am fully down for a Tam redemption arc 😭🤌

I don’t want to say who she’ll end up with because I think part of the fun is contained within not knowing? She might get with Bas for a bit but then move to the Autumn Court, might become happy by herself and content on her own, might get with Az only for a mating bond to pop up between her and Eris. Who knows? 👀

(I enjoy messing with you)

It might be fun for her and Helion to get in touch, even if it’s just her requesting a scroll or book from one of his libraries, but no promises about that 😭

And thank you for sending this in, it really helps guide me with future parts—helping me know what to emphasise or what I should try to expand upon if it’s been skated over in a previous chapter :) 🧡💛

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC Review: You, Again by Kate Goldbeck

4.25/5. Releases 9/12/2023.

Vibes: classic romcoms with a new spin, uptight anxiety man meets freewheeling lady rake, and friends to lovers the way it should be done.

When Josh and Ari meet, he's dating her roommate (the same roommate she's sleeping with). It's years before they're able to reconnect on the right foot, and only after major blows in their personal lives. As they grow into best friends, the inevitable tension between them turns into something totally different...

I'm really loving this string of contemporaries that take clear inspiration from God Tier romcoms. I don't think you need to be a When Harry Met Sally fan to enjoy this at all, but I do think that fans of that classic snark and feels sensibility will find this hard to resist.

Quick Takes:

--I do really want to touch on those WHMS comparisons, though. I'm a fan of the movie, and if you're a fan, there are certain lines and moments in this that will be clear, never-obnoxious nods. They're not lifting--it's definitely a tribute. However, I also think the book does some really interesting things by throwing a more contemporary spin on the story. Like I said, Ari and Josh meet in a love triangle of sorts--you know Ari is bi right off the bat. And that's always a thing that influences her journey and development. This is an m/f romance novel in which the heroine's bisexuality never feels fetishized or plugged in.

You also get a lot from Ari being the person who's okay with casual sex... only to have her heart crushed by love on more than occasion... while Josh is the one who seeks a solid relationship constantly, while never connecting with anyone on a deep emotional level. There's a gender flipping element that works really well here. The idea of Ari being a commitmentphobic snarker isn't something you see in many books. She's a truly "problematic heroine". She makes bad choices, she hurts people, she needs to grow the fuck up. At points, even I was a little frustrated with her. But the story is so much more satisfying in the end because Ari needed to work on herself.

--And of course, Josh is a great hero. I found him so................... much. He's big, he's shy and uptight, he just wants to settle down and be someone's someone. He could cook. Oh, and he can totally paddle your ass and call you a bad girl over the phone! Yes! (There is a moment over text in this book.... you're not ready.)

--There's a great sense of New York, New York in such an affectionate, romcom-y way? The setting is very lovingly done, and it adds to the sense that you're sort of stepping back in time.

--I've been very vocal about my antipathy towards friends to lovers. I'm not a big fan, generally speaking. I think it suggests a sluggishness and lack of desire and action from the hero and heroine. It often falls back on the idea that "I just didn't see you like that [for five years]" which is just hard for me to believe. But here, while Ari and Josh get to know each other over years, they're not truly friends for toooo long before the levee breaks. A good while, yes; but just enough for the tension to bubble through, never too much. Also, they clearly never see each other in a sexless way. You get so much longing, so much desire in this book, with neither Josh nor Ari ready to admit it.

--Another really nice thing about this book is that for the bulk of it, Josh is 34-35 and Ari is around 29-30. Neither one has their life totally figured out. They're both still stumbling through life and picking up and trying again. It's really nice to see, and fuck anyone who says this is New Adult. These people are adults, figuring their shit out, taking the time they need. That's normal.

The Sex Stuff:

I could have used maybe one or two more scenes, and one scene does cut off oddly early. However, when these two go off, they go OFF. I really liked the way they interacted through sex. It seemed like a kind of truly honest communication between them, and I found it really touching (and hot).

This book ends on a note I was delighted with--it really feel like I was watching an old school romcom come to a close. I had a great time.

Thanks to Netgalley and Dial Press for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

[stormyoceans]

Missing puentalay hours 🥲

I'VE NEVER RELATED MORE TO A SINGLE MESSAGE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE IT'S REALLY BEEN MISSING VICE VERSA AND PUENTALAY HOURS 24/7 SINCE OCTOBER AND IT'S NOT GETTING ANY BETTER

one would think that the thought of getting them back in our skyy 2 would ease the pain and it does BUT ALSO SOMEHOW MAKES IT WORSE WHAT DO YOU MEAN IM GONNA HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE TO THEM ALL OVER AGAIN IM IN THE TRENCHES FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE HERE

anyway.... [holds your hand] we're gonna get through this TOGETHER and to start just let me share two very brief very random thoughts i got today:

1) a previous ask brought up the pinching cheeks battle in episode 4 and it made me think that, albeit drunk, talay is actually the first one who starts this off in episode 2. i find it interesting because the two things talay does while drunk, which are pinching puen's cheek and kissing him, puen ends up doing them back to him in ep 4, AFTER he realizes he's in love with talay. like idk, it's midnight and im probably not making any sense, but knowing that puen has no experience with relationships and that he says himself that he is 'bad at love', it feels like he went 'well, talay pinched my cheek and kissed me and i was a goner, so SURELY if i do the same to him he's gonna fall in love with me as well, RIGHT????'

2) there are some recurring gestures that im pretty sure aren't really scripted but are just jimmysea acting and doing what feels natural as puen and talay and that i just absolutely ADORE, for example talay putting his hand on the small of puen's back (funny enough he does it the two times he pushes puen away, as if that small touch could lessen the blow for both of them, and by funny i mean im gonna throw myself into the ocean) and puen kinda stroking kinda scratching the back of talay's head (this description is how i know i need to sleep ;;;;;;)

[thedreadvampy]

I am. For some reason. Being haunted by guilt for this one fucking thing that happened when I was 17. It keeps floating up whenever I try to sleep the last couple of days, I think it's cause Sam's been ill. so I'm putting it here in an attempt to exorcise it. please tell me if this is a situation it makes sense to feel guilty about 13 years later.

Ok so I'm 17, right? I have this boyfriend. He's 18? 19? Not 100% sure on timings on this. and we've been together for about 9 months.

I'm still at school. He's not - he dropped out of sixth form twice, doesn't have a job and is on and off benefits. He's living in his mum's house but I think by this point she's up and moved to Ghana without much notice, leaving him alone with 4 cats and a dog (I'm not actually 100% sure she'd moved out yet at the time but I'm the interests of steelmanning the guilt let's assume she had. I think she had).

We live in different towns - he lives in the nearest Proper Town, the one with like a train station and shopping centre and cinema and clubs. I live 2 buses away - there's a 45 minute bus that takes me from his to the town I go to school in, which goes every 20 minutes 6am-11pm, and then the 20/40 min bus (it takes alternating routes) that I have to take from that town to my village, which goes every 80 minutes 7am-5pm.

My habit at the time is leaving school on Friday, getting the bus to his, spending every weekend there, then going to school from his on Monday and going home after school to spend the week at home. So we sort of half live together - I do a lot of the shopping and cleaning for his house while I'm there cause I work and get a £20/wk allowance from my parents and have no bills to pay, whereas he doesn't have any stable income and since his mum left he's gotta pay for the bills on this 2 person house as well as food and stuff for himself and the animals.

So that's the context this is happening in. He's feeling very abandoned and not really coping, and I've been trying to fill that gap but also I Am Seventeen.

Anyway it's Christmas time, and I've agreed that I'll spend the run-up to Christmas at his and then get the last bus home on Christmas Eve to spend actual Christmas with my family.

I wake up on Christmas Eve about 3am because it is BOILING. I reach over and touch his skin and it literally hurts to touch cause he's running such a high fever. When he wakes up I ask him if he's ok, if he needs me to call the doctor etc, he won't let me do that. I get him water and paracetamol and honey and lemon and a bucket in case he needs to throw up but by about 3pm I'm like I truly have to go bc this is the absolute latest I can leave to catch the last bus home before December 27th (no buses on Christmas or Boxing Day).

and he is crying and begging me not to leave him and calling me selfish and saying I don't love him. and I do everything I can to make sure he's going to be ok and has plenty of food and water in reach and then I go.

(I was very right about the urgency of leaving if I wanted to get home, btw, bc it was below zero and snowing heavily and I JUST got onto the last bus at a dead run. and then that broke down in the snow 2 miles away from home, it was like an hour of just me and the bus driver sitting in an unheated bus while the snow piled up and he called the depot trying to get someone to come out 30+ miles to pick him and the bus up last thing before Christmas. Poor guy. Eventually my mum managed to drive out and pick me up and bring the driver a thermos of tea and some heat packs to tide him over until the cavalry came. so yeah there wasn't a lot of wiggle room in that travel plan.)

anyway my memories of that Christmas Eve have always largely focused on the bus thing. but like. the last few days I'm really thinking about how scary and lonely that genuinely must have been for my ex. like. if I'm right in thinking this was after his mum left, this was probably his first Christmas alone and he spent it racked with flu, running a fever in his room and his girlfriend just went away and left him to it. and like. That must have felt awful

and I keep just thinking should I have done something different? tried to get him to my parents' for Christmas? stuck around until the 27th? maybe talked to my mum and seen whether she could come pick me up on Christmas Day?

or like. even if i didn't do anything wrong. does it make me a bad person that I was so desperate to get out of his house and so relieved once I was away? like I just did not want to deal with that?

like it's obviously all moot, it was half my life ago and anyway it's a snapshot of a much more substantive and complicated relationship. but like. It's just sitting on me at the moment. while I flop around feeling sorry for myself bc I'm running a fever.

[todayimgonnaplay]

Today I'm gonna play: Final Fantasy XIII-2

This is my first post! I don't have a format on how I'm going to discuss games, so I'm just going to rant out whatever comes to mind I guess! I'm putting an apostrophe for terms exclusive to the game and will detail them at the end.

I've recently finished FF13, which...wasn't the most enjoyable FF I've played. Although its level design was linear, and the characters can be a little tropey, I had more issues with the lack of party customization that only gets unlocked later on in the game, and the general difficulty as well as its expensive economy, it had some very impressive art direction and music that still holds up to this day! I've jumped on to its sequel to see how it fares.

I'm currently on episode 4, and I've seen some nice improvements so far! The Paradigm Shift* system is a lot faster and responsive, and the game allows you to do Preemptive Strikes* which gives you an advantage with the Stagger Bar*, as well as grant Haste* temporarily which is a nice tactical advantage. Your additional party members now consist of up to 3 monsters you capture and equip, who each have their own paradigm class. Overall this makes the combat very fun and customizable!

The first game also constantly focused on combat. This time, I'm seeing puzzle segments, which are somewhat confusing, and some options to dress up monsters you catch. Not perfect systems, but it's nice to see some downtime. I do find the Mog Throw* funny though.

Levels this time are larger and non-linear, giving more replayability as well as a sense of exploration. This exploration is linked to the main story too, so it doesn't feel too much like a chore. I'd say it's somewhat of an improvement.

The graphics are still the same, but I'm enjoying one area in particular for its futuristic aesthetic, so it still has some nice artistic direction going on. I would say the character designs are a hit or miss compared to the first game. Serah's outfit in XIII-2 seems...odd despite looking more battle-ready. Her gloves and weapon are the only pluses, but it looks like they're more keen on showing more skin for some reason (with her having a swimsuit outfit too apparently). Noel on the other hand has a more appealing design! His head gives me Squall Leonhart vibes but with the hair grown a little.

I also like the characterization more than the first game. Noel is really smart and capable, and even shows a side of impatience so he's not perfect. Serah is also interesting as she journeys from being a girl that couldn't do anything to being a courageous heroine. The duo's dynamics are more pleasing to watch compared to where the first game had a larger cast that was constantly at odds with each other but awkwardly come together at some point.

The story is also easier to follow as there's not a lot of weird terminology anymore that doesn't explain itself. Even though it's about time travel, I haven't seen anything crazy yet.

One detail I really like is that it reminds you of previous events. Every time you get back into the game, it has a ''story so far'' segment that pops up before entering a world to catch you up to speed, and for those that have not played 13, there's a whole summary section available in the menu. This may be annoying for people who have been continuously playing the game (like me) and don't need to be reminded, but there are times where we drop a game because life happens, or another game catches our attention and we wander off to playing that. But having a reminder is a nice touch for a positive experience. Perhaps this feature could have a toggled off option in the settings.

One detail I dislike is the pacing of the extra dialogue that plays in the overworld. The first game paced this well, but this sequel seems to have longer dialogue that could potentially pressure you to stop and listen if you want to hear the extra details, otherwise interacting with anything else risks you from skipping them. Grand Theft Auto also has this issue, when you're driving during a story mission and you cannot hit the destination marker yet because the characters are still talking. The only solution I can see to amending this would be to allow the player to see/hear the next dialogue by pressing a button. NEO: The World Ends With You has (non-voiced) dialogue pop up in the overworld, which you can interact with to see the rest of it while still on the go.

Overall, I'm looking forward to what the rest of the game has in store! The music is as great, if not even better than the first! I have listened to some of the tracks long before getting on this game, but I've heard some new ones that are absolute bangers! 13 made me a fan of Masashi Hamauzu, but 13-2 is now making me a fan of Naoshi Mizuta too! I'm gonna put a link to my current favourite track.

Terms exclusive to the game: Paradigm shift - Strategic set of roles your characters can have which you can switch around during combat. Preemptive strike - Allows you to strike an enemy first to gain an advantage. Similar to Player Advantage/Ambush in the Persona/Shin Megami Tensei games. Stagger bar - A gauge the player fillswhen fighting (best by casting magic) which allows the enemy to be vulernable to more damage Haste - An effect (or spell) common in FF games that makes you act faster Mog Throw - An ability that allows you to throw Mog (Moogle, a creature in FF games) to inaccessible/far places and give you treasure in return