#also it forces my body to do the stuff i have to do but i feel like i need a break

[jillsandwhichs]

Forced to love you

Chapter 11 to Joel Miller x Reader Smutshot Collection

Masterlist

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: You've been forced into an arranged marriage with Mr. Miller, a rich businessman, also known for being a bit cold and straight forward. Neither of you wanted this but you suppose you two will make it work somehow

Status of your guy's relationship in this one shot: Married

WC: 4.0k

Type: NSFW

Warnings: Smut - Making out, Dirty talk, Oral (Both receive), Overstimulation, Spanking, Protected P in V, Doggy style, Hair pulling, Choking, Clit rubbing, You both finish, Slight aftercare

A/n: Hi! Hope you all enjoy. Please check out my masterlist, there's a lot of stuff there. You can get to know me, you can see the rules of my blog and then you can see all of my fanfictions. You'll be able to find the previous chapters to this fic and upcoming ones. You'll also be able to find my Wattpad & AO3. Comments, reblogs & likes are appreciated. Thank you

Placing your purse down on the marble counter, you took in the large cliff side mansion you're inside of right now. The large window panels all along the kitchen wall display the beautiful bodies of water and all of the colorful homes surrounding it. Greece is really such a beautiful place - you just wish you weren't here on these terms. The terms of a honeymoon you didn't even want.

Oh but father & mother dearest know best, right? At least they think they do. Having you merge with another wealthy family is just their way of further building their empire. Of course, you have received the short end of the stick, again, being forced to marry Joel Miller - a wealthy business man with a broody attitude about him.

Speaking of, you turned around to see him carrying in your suitcases. He set them down and looked up at you. You looked away, gazing back out at the water, admiring how it glistened and called out to you. "Your father called me while I was outside, he wants to know how you're doing, so I suggest you call him soon." "Will do." "We are also to have dinner tonight, your father made us reservations in town, so dress up and look pretty."

You scoffed and looked down at what you're already wearing. It's a peachy pink flowy dress that goes down to just above your ankles. It pair with it, you're wearing sandals that your mother gifted you for your birthday a few months back. "Do I not look pretty right now." You couldn't care less if he finds you attractive or not, but seriously? This outfit is it. "You do. My apologies. Wear that then." Joel stated.

Admittedly, you blushed a little bit.

You didn't want to marry Joel, hell, you want to divorce him this instant, but he isn't the worst man. Earlier today, before the ceremony, Joel had told you he'd respect you and be there for you, which came as a surprise. Everyone told you he was an asshole who was all about work & money. Maybe he is, but he's been decent to you so far. It better remain that way.

"What time are the reservations?" "For six until seven. It's as a restaurant in the city, it's beautiful so don't worry, it'll be to your taste." "Do you think I'm some spoiled brat or something?" "Yeah." The audacity! You rolled your eyes and he smirked. "Don't roll your eyes at me." "Or what?" "You'll find out if you do it again." "Whatever." You turned back to face the windows. "I'm going to unpack my things, I advise you do the same soon." Joel said before walking off into the bedroom of the mansion - the singular one there is.

-

It's late now. Nearly 7:30 at night. You two had dinner and it was nice. Your father had made the reservations in hopes of you and Joel getting to know one another better - and you did. He does seemingly care about his work and his money but it surely isn't his life. Still, you're keeping him at bay. You're sure the two of you will be cheating on each other and despising one another in no time!

Joel is currently in the shower, you're in the room just outside of it. The bedroom is nice, it came with complimentary essentials and honestly anything you'd need for a week in Greece. You're originally from the U.S, Joel too, but your mother had you pick between either going to Spain or Greece and of course, Greece it was. That was literally the only thing you had say in when it came to your wedding, sadly.

Looking through the nighttime attire your mother packed for you to wear, you soon came to realize a theme. Literally everything is revealing. You scoffed and groaned loudly, all of the city could probably hear it. The most modest piece of attire that was packed is a short lenghted silky nightgown. The base color is pink with a lacy white trim. It's cute, but your mother obviously wants you and Joel to connect in more ways than one.

You have to work with what you have though.

You took off the clothes you were currently wearing and threw them into the basket on the other side of the room. Of course, you kept your panties on but removed your bralette - you shouldn't wear those to bed. The nightgown is comfortable. Soft & cozy. Glancing in the mirror, you smiled. You feel pretty. The sound of the shower turning off was heard and you sighed softly. Guess that's all the alone time you'll be getting.

Joel isn't a bad guy. You two just... Aren't made for one another. This is truly depressing.

Climbing into bed, you tucked yourself beneath the covers and grabbed the remote off of the bedside table. You told your father that if anything, you'll need a suite with a TV - it'll take your mind off of things. You doom scrolled through different channels until you settled on one with a cooking show. Not the best option, but it is distracting enough. As your eyes were casted upon the television, Joel walked out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel around his waist.

You were quick to look away. Admittedly, you felt wrong when looking. However, your brain is totally working against you. There's no denying he's an attractive man, because he is. You even said that to him. Attraction isn't the point though. He grabbed a pair of pajamas and began to change but in a way so you couldn't see, thank the Lord. At least he has decency!

When he was done, Joel ambled back into the room and over to the bed, where you were lying down. "Want me to take a different room? I'm sure the couch is comfortable enough." He said softly, just trying to get this ordeal done and over with. That's harsh. You won't do that to him. "No Joel, that's alright. If we're to be married for life, we better get used to this lifestyle." You snorted with sarcasm, scooching over on the bed to provide him with some room.

He nodded and sat down, running his hand through his damp hair. You couldn't help yourself - you gazed at him. Wow, he cleans up nicely. Too bad this marriage was an arranged one. You sighed deeply and he noticed. "You good?" "I'm fine. Just tired." You said softly, nestling your head against the pillows. He nodded in agreement. "Yeah, me too." He laid back and shut his lamp off, but you left yours on.

"Going to bed already?" "Trying to." He said in a deep voice, "Mind turning that TV off?" Ugh. "Not at all." You shut it off and laid back just as he did. Well, this is awkward. You're laying in bed with a man you met today, married and had dinner with. What a fucking shit show. You rolled over to face him and his eyes were already on you. Behind the bed frame is a large window, the moonlight casted down onto you two, specifically you & your face. It's pleasant, honestly.

Joel sighed deeply before clearing his throat. "You know, for what it is worth," he looked into your eyes, "I don't think you're half bad." He chuckled and looked down. You giggled and nodded. "Everyone said you were an asshole, I'll admit, I was nervous to meet you." "Eh, I definitely am an ass but to my now wife, I won't be. I can't be." He mumbled and looked back up at you, his eyes stark & piercing, making you feel a certain type of way.

That made you smile. This man isn't so bad after all. You know he'll make a good friend. Hopefully you two can sort out being with other people later, it'll be for the best. You sighed softly and viewed into his eyes once again, this time they were more gentle and kind. How sweet. "Is everything okay?" You whispered, biting your lower lip. "Of course." He nodded. "By the way," Joel smirked and looked you up and down, "that nightgown suits you well." He murmured.

That made you blush, truly. How kind of him to say. You thought the same thing. "Doesn't it? I like it a lot... Yeah, unfortunately, mother dearest only packed me... Sexual attire... So..." You snorted. "Well, that ain't so bad..." Joel said in his normal voice. "What do you mean?" "Uh," he chuckled and broke eye contact, "Nothing sweetheart, ignore me."

Sweetheart? He's calling you names now? It made your stomach heat up. You slowly nudged closer to him without even realizing it. "Sweetheart? Admittedly, I like that." You giggled and you were now closer to him, so close you could feel the warmth emitting from his jacked build. "Hah," Joel laughed, "Figured you would." His laugh is... Adorable. That laugh coming from a big burly man is the cutest thing.

Maybe you could learn to... You don't know, care for this man in more ways than one?

Joel gandered back up at you, his gaze back to that starkish glaring one but this time, there was something more in those brown eyes of his. Something of adrenaline and/or ecstasy. It made you get slightly shy, really. "Joel?-" you were instantly cut off by his lips pressing to yours in a manner you didn't expect. You moaned immediately and encased your arms around his neck, Joel quickly rushing to get on top of you.

His hands pinned yours above your head and his lips rapidly moved with yours. This escalated so fast. You can't even think straight. "Wait, wait," you kissed him back and smiled, his hands holding your wrists firmly. "Hmm?" He muttered out, beginning to kiss your neck side crazily, his lips all over, leaving marks and presses. "This is totally shocking, are we gonna?-" "Am I going to fuck you? Only if you want me to."

God damnit, why did him saying that turn you on? You're a virgin. The most you've done is suck a guy off and it was terribly embarrassing. "So, do you want me to?" Joel added, stopping his kisses and awaiting an answer. Do you? This man is your husband, yes, but only as of today. You feel nervous. "I..." "Yes or no? I won't be upset." He whispered softly, his lips so soft against your neck.

"Yes."

It came out so smoothly & simply, as if this was meant to happen. "That'a girl." Joel smirked against your neck before kissing your lips again and slipping his tongue into your mouth, allowing it to intertwine with yours. It felt good. He makes you feel good. Unfortunately, this is a battle of Lust vs Love and lust is heavily taking over. Either way though, you're too deep now to back out and really, you don't even want to. You want him to take your purity - he is your life long partner now.

As the two of you kissed, it was a heated one. You haven't kissed someone in such a long time, you forgot how exciting it is. His hand trailed down to his shirt before he took it off, throwing it on the floor beside the bed. You took your chance to feel up on him, touching his chest and his lower abdomen area. You felt his V line and it is so prominent - that really turns you on. Joel is sexy. Maybe him railing you won't be so bad...

He smiled as you felt him. You touched all over his torso area. He's built and he's built well. "Can you do something for me?" He whispered into your small ear before kissing it gently. "Mhm." You whimpered out. "Have you ever given a man a blowjob before." He pulled away and smirked. Oh, you know where this is going. "A long time ago, yes." "Hmm," Joel smiled and kissed your forehead. "Wanna do that for me?" He asked you, so kindly. "I do." You nodded. You do.

Joel nodded and adjusted his seating position. Now he was sitting on the bed, his back against the headboard. Perfect positioning for you to make him all sorts of dumb. You smiled and pulled your hair back, ensuring it won't get in the way. He is wearing a light pair of sweatpants, some that'll come off rather easily. The imprinting of his hard cock is noticeable. You're practically drooling at this point.

You pulled him out of his pants, a slight bit of pre cum lies right on his tip. So hot. So sexy. You bit your lower lip before wettenening them, overall just preparing yourself. "You'll do so good baby." Baby... Oh fuck, that's so hot. You smiled and leaned down before quickly wrapping your lips around the head of his dick, just testing the waters. Joel was haste to seeth and let out a faint grunt. "Oh yeah, this is gonna be good." He murmured to himself.

Then and there, you started to suck his cock. He's hard, rock hard. The first guy you ever blew wasn't like this. In a way, you're glad Joel is this turned on, it shows that maybe this isn't just a lustful thing for him. But what do you know? It probably is. I mean, you two will eventually have sex, especially if he doesn't agree to the affair orders. Enough of that though, you just wanna focus on pleasuring him right now.

You swirled your tongue all along his cock, from the base to the tip, all over. Joel simply watched you in awe. There's no denying your beauty and watching you of all people give him a blowjob, he's under your spell. You used your hand to jerk the spots you weren't focusing on as you licked his tip. His pre cum was slightly thick and it had a sweet taste to it. God, you want to swallow his semen terribly.

You closed your eyes as you moved your head faster, suckling his cock as quickly and perfectly as you could. "Fuck, that feels so good." Joel moaned and his hand now rested on the back of your head. "Good girl, fuck." He closed his eyes and tilted his head back. You're like a witch, winding him under your seduction. He pushed your head down slightly, forcing you to take his dick deeper into your mouth.

After a little while longer, he twitched in your mouth and that's how you knew he was just about to finish. You took the opportunity to shove your head all the way down, his tip hitting your throat and your eyes as watery as ever - and it worked. "Christ, oh fuck." Joel gasped out as he came deep into your throat, his sweet cum seeping into your mouth until you swallowed it all. Joel snickered and gazed at you in surprise.

"Holy fuck, you got a mouth on you." You giggled at his words. "So I've been told." You smiled. "Yeah? Come here." He grabbed your hips and pulled you onto his lap. You laughed and kissed him, your lips locking with his. He breathed in deeply as you kissed him. Your kisses are full of ecstasy and need. "I want you to ride my face." He stated in between kisses. God. That's just what you need.

Once again, he fixed his seating position and this time, laid all the way back until his head was on the pillow. "I've never done this before." "You don't got anything to worry about, I'll be doing all the work. You just sit on my face and relax." The way he talks is so attractive, really. You snorted and rolled your eyes. "Okay then." You took off your panties and threw them on the ground beside his shirt from earlier. "Now c'mere."

Listening, you climbed over his body and over to his face. His hands held onto your thighs and he pulled you down. You felt the slight prickle from his beard on your area and you sighed deeply. You know Joel will take good care of you. "Just take it baby." Was all he said before he then began to feast upon you. This isn't how you expected it to feel. It feels amazing. Joel really knows what he's doing. "Oh Jesus Christ." Your head was already tossed back.

His tounge was clearly all over your pussy, your so very wet pussy. You moaned loudly and held onto the headboard. It definitely feels a bit awkward & unhinged but fuck, Joel is just going at it, how can you not just allow it? "That feels so fucking amazing." You laughed and looked down. His eyes were closed. He's in the moment. All he wants to do is please you and to taste you and God, you taste heavenly.

Gripping the bedframe, you began to slowly grind your cunt against his face. You can't help yourself, it feels too good. "Oh Joel." You moaned softly, your body shaking faintly. His hands held onto your thighs, he was literally gripping them with force. His tongue protruded at your hole, sticking it in and out of it quickly before going back to suckling on your pulsing clit. You're so wet. You're so fucking horny.

This is not how you expected tonight to go.

"I feel like..." God, you haven't felt this in a good bit. It's only when you're touching yourself that you do. "Cum for me sweetheart." He detached from your pussy only for a moment and just to say that. "Oh fuck!" Your body shook and your eyes squeezed shut as you came. Joel didn't stop. He sucked and licked all over as you came. It was so overstimulating. "Oh, fuck, stop, stop!" You yelled out and he was detached just like that.

You got off of his face and giggled loudly, looking at him as you caught your breath. "That was great." You snickered and layed back. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." He smiled and leaned over, kissing your cheek, then your pretty pink lips. "I still want you." You swathed your arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. He smiled into the kiss and nodded. "Here." He pulled away from the kiss and flipped you over, landing you on your stomach and pulling your ass up.

Doggy style, hmm, okay.

You giggled and rubbed your rear along his manhood, causing him to get hard all over again. "Dirty girl." He murmured before spanking you, causing you to moan loudly. You didn't expect that. You guess this man is kinky. "Are you a virgin?" He whispered into your ear before kissing behind it. "I am." "Okay baby, I'll be gentle." He said in a soft tone before pulling back behind you. He pulled his pants down, then lifted your nightgown up, revealing your bare ass to him.

Joel reached over and grabbed a condom from the drawer. There were some in the bathroom too. Honeymoon suites do not mess around. He slipped it over his hard cock and looked back down at you. "If it hurts at all, just tell me." "Okay." You nodded and smiled, looking straight ahead as you waited for him. Within that minute, he stuck himself inside of you, slowly and passionately. You moaned and felt your insides tighten at the sudden feeling.

"Loosen up baby, it'll feel better." You had to calm yourself down. You're suddenly nervous and a bit on edge. "Want me to stop?" "No, please no." You said softly, holding onto the bedsheets below you. "Just be gentle." "Of course." Joel responded. He began to move but his strokes were subtle and gentle. He doesn't want to hurt you. "You feel so good." He said in a deep voice, pushing himself in and out of you.

It's a whole new sensation. It feels like a delicacy. Goodness, it's great. "It does feel nice." You giggled and nuzzled your head against the bed, just letting loose and allowing Joel to make the most out of this expirence. "You're so beautiful." He whispered before his movements picked up, but barely. He just wants you to be okay. "Just like that." You moaned out and closed your eyes, now just relishing in the feeling of him within you.

A little bit after you entirely adjusted to him, his hips rocked against your ass a bit quicker now. The feeling was exquisite. You've never felt this way before. "So fucking tight, Jesus Christ." Joel grunted as he fucked you, his dick going into you at a pace in which was perfect, it was magnificent. "Joel!" You moaned and attempted to lift your head up and as you tried, he shoved you back down, his hand going to the back of your neck to keep you in place.

Oh, you liked that. It was sudden but very arousing.

As he slammed into you now, his pace not gentle as it was, all you could do was take it. Like this, it is even better, you just needed a minute to adjust. "Maybe this marriage won't be so bad." You giggled out to Joel and he smiled, though you couldn't see it. "That's what I like to hear." He spanked you again and this time, your back arched even more. This is amazing. You really didn't think this would happen but wow, what an outcome it is.

Joel's hand trailed up into your hair and somehow, you knew what he'd do because before you knew it, he was pulling on it. Your head was being pulled back roughly but the pain mixed with the pleasure was perfect. You moaned loudly and held your breath as he fucked you, hard. Him pulling on your hair, fucking you and talking to you all at once was too much.

"I'm gonna cum again." You moaned out, closing your eyes. "Cum for me sweetheart." He whispered before reaching over and holding onto not only your hair, but now your neck. He lifted you up until your back was against his front. His hand was now around your neck and his other around your stomach, holding you close. This is it. You moaned softly as you felt his plunge into you a few more times until he ultimately came first, which then caused your undoing.

As you came, he caressed your clit with haste and your body shook, even more than it did with your first orgasm. "God, you take it so well." Joel grunted as he kissed behind your ear whilst rubbing your nub and pushing himself into you. There were so many feelings all at once, it was amazing. You giggled and bit your lip, closing your eyes and simply intaking the enjoyable & pleasurable moment.

Coming down from your high and snapping back into reality, Joel pulled out of you with a chuckle and you two laid down on the bed together. He took off the condom and set it on the table; He can throw it away later. "So..." You began with a faint giggle and Joel bellowed. "You were amazing." He leaned over and kissed your forehead. "Are you okay? Did I break ya?" He joked. You nodded. "Yes to both." He laughed at your sentence.

"I feel so..." "Hmm?" "Good." You giggled and spun over to face him. "Let's do it again!" You climbed on top of him and he laughed out, holding your hips. "Let's do it then."

[evenyvn]

Full of Love

himeko, welt, pom-pom x gn!reader [platonic]

summary : people always say you're so full of love, especially for the astral express family.

cw : gn!reader, sfw, fluff, found family troupe, reader is a nameless, mention of ptsd, reader have bad past before joining astral express, word vomit tbh.

i really adore astral express family, they're my roman empire. i might write for the trailblazer trio + sunday after this. also fyi i rarely write for platonic relationship so please don't expect me to write more platonic stuff 🙏

masterlist

Many people say that you're a person full of love, especially for the Astral Express family. And you never deny it—because they're not wrong. The Express has been your haven, your safe place, a place you call home.

Before you boarded the Express, life had always been hard on your 'home' planet. In fact, you're not even sure if you could call that hellhole of a place a home. Not once did you feel safe since the day you were born.

But now, that's all in the past. You've healed, you've made peace with yourself and your past, and all you can do is share your love with the other crew members.

Starting with Himeko. The red haired navigator has been your savior—since the day she welcomed you with open arms, guided you out of your darkest times, and became the first person you could truly trust.

Her gentle smile makes your heart flutter with happiness that you couldn't explain. Her presence makes you feel safe. She always stands by your side, supporting your decisions with an open mind.

You're always grateful for her, and you can tell she's grateful for you too.

"You're a blessing that not even an Aeon can give,"

She once said on a night when your body trembled from the weight of nightmares from the past. She held you in her arms, her hands running soothingly along your back as she whispered soft words of comfort. She handled you with pure kindness—never she treats you like you were some kind of a scared animal, but as an equal. She treated you like a human being.

People always say you're full of love for Himeko, and it's true. Every morning, you never failed to brew her a cup of coffee just the way she likes it, even if her preferences were odd, even if you dislike the strong smell of the coffee beans. You do it for her. And every time, she never failed to send you a grateful smile and a few words of praise as she takes a sip. You wouldn't trade the world for the smile she gives you.

You're always full of love for Welt, the man who mysteriously boarded the Express one day. At first, you were skeptical of him. Before he arrived, it had always been just you, Himeko, and Pom-Pom. Your skepticism were justified, and Welt never took offense.

He was patient. He earned your trust slowly but surely.

At night when the nightmares became too much to bear, when sleep felt impossible, you'd wander the halls of the Express. Some nights, you didn't have the heart to wake Himeko, even though you knew she wouldn't mind comforting you like always.

You'd drift through the dimly lit corridors before finding yourself in the Parlor Car. There, you’d often spot Welt, sitting on the red couch in front of one of the tables. He would acknowledge your presence with a small glance before a slight smile pulled at his lips.

"Having trouble sleeping too?"

He never pried, never forced you to talk. He simply welcomed you to sit beside him, allowing you both to exist in silence as you gazed at the endless stars through the glass panels. And so, your little habit began.

Some nights, when neither of you could sleep, you'd sit together in comfortable silence. Other nights, one of you would open up, little by little. Welt would tell you stories of his late home, and in return, you'd share yours. It became a quiet, unspoken secret between the two of you.

People say you're full of love for Welt, and it’s evident in the way you'll sketch countless pictures of his characters from the animations he’s shown you before.

In fact, he's the one who taught you how to draw, sharing his little joys with you as you eagerly followed his lessons. You'll proudly show him your sketches, even when the lines were wobbly and imperfect. But no matter what, he always praises you.

His little smile says it all. He’s proud of you and it's evident in the way he secretly pins your sketches above his monitor. so he can look at them fondly while he animates.

You're full of love for Pom-Pom too.

The fluffy conductor’s constant scolding has become one of your favorite things. It might sound odd, but you find comfort in their slightly agitated voice whenever they reprimand you for forgetting your cleaning duties. Your punishment is always the same—scrubbing down the entire Express for the day.

"Pom-Pom is only doing this because Pom-Pom is worried about you!"

Yet, at the end of the day, when you're exhausted and wiping the sweat off your forehead, you always find a plate of your favorite food waiting for you in your room. When you ask Pom-Pom about it, they avoid eye contact, flustered, before lying and running away.

Everyone on the Express knows the truth—Pom-Pom has a soft spot for you. And you have a soft spot for them too. It's an open secret that you're their favorite passenger, even if they deny it every time.

You will always be full of love for the Astral Express, your family.

And you will never stop giving them your love.

divider by @.adornedwithlight | likes, reblogs and comments are very appreciated ♡

[eosofspades]

i have to do everything myself around here (/hj)

analyzing what it is about these little guys that makes them so good. as a character designer, visual artist, obsessive art analysist, and someone who just happens to be insane about ghosts in particular, i feel i have some authority to try my hand at the matter.

(under read more because this is a long one. with pictures!)

my claim is: multiple factors combined make the Peak Video Game Companion Form, and that these factors are...

SMALL. perfect size for holding, perfect size for tucking into your hood and snuggling, also makes you more likely to find them cute and feel protective over them because they are so small and vulnerable. (even spiky or extra-protective shells don't really fully dissuade this because the size of them remains the same)

NO limbs. ghosts are VERY expressive but because they lack hands and limbs they have to rely entirely on full-body movement & voice to convey this, which actually makes their gestures seem more exaggerated & obvious. (and of course the voice actors are just always knocking it out of the park; this is absolutely a big part of it) (nolan north especially like ghost's voice is CRAZY emotionally versatile)

and yet! despite their expressiveness! - NO features. an incredibly bold move by the designers to make the most lovable character & your full-time companion a guy with no features except one (1) IMPLIED eye. it's not even a real eye; it's a little image OF a ghost on a screen. this goes back to the previous point; that they're forced to be overly-expressive because they have no features like a mouth or eyebrows to convey something like a grin or scowl. (this ALSO creates a feeling of affection in the player, i think, because when they ARE expressing themselves it's always cute - again in large part because of how small they are & that their ONE feature is a LARGE eye (compared to the rest of their body). when they're happy they twirl their whole shell around, a particular favorite of mine is when ghost is angry and lowers his whole shell so that his eye is half-covered in such a manner it LOOKS like he's glaring. that's absolutely hilarious & adorable.)

entirely digital! i love that they're robots and i honestly think some of the appeal of them would be lost if they were creatures, like, a race of alien or something instead of a type of small robot. i think that what makes this such a good feature is that it creates a sort of distance in one way between the player and the ghost - we're not the same Thing, this is a robot and not a person, and so when they BEHAVE like a person (emotional! expressive! full of love and whimsy!!) it kind of bolsters the affection you have for them because it's New and unique; not, like, a pre-existing thing (like well yeah naturally they've got instincts and emotions and subjective reactions, they're an animal/person - vs., OH, they've got instincts and emotions and subjective reactions because even though they're a robot, they're still complex like a person!!)

also i can't not mention the overall shape language & design. there is an absolutely crazy amount of stuff going on in a design so simple. the symmetry is great, for starters - sometimes symmetry CAN be used to create unease by feeling artificial/unnatural, but in this case, the symmetry of the design connotates something easily-understood, reliable, safe, etc that puts us at ease. (this is also in correlation with the previous endearing factors such as size & expressiveness.)

continuing this, the shapes. the ghost is so satisfying to look at because it's made of shapes we find visually comforting & reliable - even when those shapes aren't actually there!

let me ask you this: the shell fins are triangular, right? nope! very few ACTUAL triangles on this guy! but the body is segmented in a way that makes it appear so. (this goes into actual shape language in the way our brains read it - we like odd numbers, because it feels more natural than even-ness and symmetry and perfect balance. part of the reason i think the ghost's symmetry is so appealing is because it is paired with these more "natural" shapes. (the fins LOOK like triangles, and they're actually 5-sided.) here, i even made diagrams:

also included in this one is the natural positioning. the design would be a little more disconcerting if the fins were positioned in an x instead of a +, and they almost are from the side, BUT even from the side, the middle fins still center a + shape to break it up.

last little detail regarding actual literal design is color. this one isn't AS big of a deal, especially because the shells are SO customizable, but i think it's worth mentioning that they look bright and shiny and smooth, BUT the particular white color of the shell is a scuffed, warm white, which again feels more natural and inviting. pairing it with the brownish-orange freckle (did you know the top and bottom tips of the shell are canonically called freckles??) makes it feel natural and familiar.

i also think it's worth looking at what is NOT a good ghost example. i found these pieces of concept art, including ghosts with their guardians, and what i believe is an early concept of the spider.

oh i am so glad these remained concept art. aren't you so glad that these remained concept art.

don't get me wrong, this is absolutely a viable character design, but FOR ghosts - for your lifelong platonic soulmate in the face of encroaching darkness?? for your silly sweet little guy??? absolutely not NEARLY as good as what we've been blessed with now. two eyes and a little mouth looking thing?? WRONG!! perfectly orbular shape?? WRONG!! that's not my guy!! (the perfectly round shells you can customize with ARE fine because you already KNOW the generalist design, and the one big eye stays the same.) and from this we can glean that the fins ARE important because they SUBSTITUTE as limbs, but this little circle body is just automatically less visually endearing and immediately seems like it would be less expressive. much to learn!)

SO. what now.

the main goal of me writing this whole thing is mostly to figure out what the guidelines here are so they can be adapted to other character designs - i have a similar concept to a ghost in an original project i'm working on, but invoking the same kind of loveability in them has proven insanely difficult. and of course, the context IS extremely relevant - a huge part of why we love ghosts so much IS dependent on the story, their role as a player companion, the significance of their connection to the player/player character (platonic soulmateism my beloved), and how they complement and contrast the setting of destiny. (part of the reason their symmetry and mechanical-ity(?) is so comforting because the rest of the world, especially the place where you first wake up, is so chaotic, broken-down & overgrown.)

also a quick but significant side note is that the fins are so much better than the ghost being small and round like a servitor (as the concept art seems to suggest) because it ALSO distances them from the traveler; despite being of it, they're not the same thing; they're their own beings who don't know everything it knows or even understand what exactly its history is. that round core and the white color draws that connection to the traveler, but the shapes and fins make them clearly their own things.

also, i genuinely think the name "ghost" is a part of this. categorically not what a ghost IS, but using such a simple word matches their vibe (& it feels white and cool and clean), and the word has an ethereal quality to it - i'd go so far as to say the connotation of it is sort of a longing or distance, invoking a kind of loss, which just ties everything about their lore together. (i LOVE when a simple, seemingly out-of-place word is used for things like this. phenomenal trope.)

so, we've got size, expressiveness, lack of limbs/features, and robotness. we got shape language and a very specific balance between artificial and natural. we've got name connotation. was this helpful? i don't know. if i had to list what to take AWAY from these categories to recreate the Ghost Effect, i would say...

size: keep them small. this one is not malleable, this is an integral part of the design.

expressiveness: over-expression GOOD, but works best when paired with a body/form that lacks things to express with (like features)

robotness: ???? maybe i'm mistaken and you could pull this off with a creature!! it kind of depends on the setting. if you wanted to try something like this in high fantasy instead of scifi, i would say the throughline should be something that you wouldn't expect to behave like a human; or something you would expect to be perfectly logical/calculated/efficient, so that that humanity & emotionality & personality really hits.

shape language: what is both distinct enough to clearly be its own thing, with shapes and patterns (symmetry counts as a pattern) that we find comforting but not overly-familiar? (also "distinct enough to be its own thing" is just a good rule of thumb for creature design in general - the silhouette should be clearly identifiable for maximum effect!)

artificial and natural: this ties into the previous item. unique & distinct but with some kind of sense of familiarity maintained

name: i think i've found my thesis, honestly, because this is, again, what is FAMILIAR but unique? what does it connotate? i think simplicity is an integral aspect of this, also.

THESIS/TL;DR/CONCLUSION: the Ghost's design is perfect because it is the ideal blend of something that is unique and distinct (and endearing) while also centering elements that are familiar to us in a comforting way.

thank you for coming to my TED talk remember to kiss your ghost

what is it abt ghosts that gives them the best character design ever, i'm not even talking about the wild customizable shells or anything i mean like the base design, what IS it that makes it so lovable. it's something to do with the simplicity and symmetry, but also they're so expressive and adorable that even though they're entirely robotic they seem so human and endearing. how does one recreate this effect or at least clearly outline how to achieve such a thing

[love-and-death-s]

re: making Emmrich a Lich

OK so I've heard a lot of people engaging with Emmrich's questline stating that choosing Lichdom doesn't have him directly address his fear of dying. I've even heard that Lich!Emmrich is his BAD ending (and people equate it to Gale choosing godhood in BG3, which full disclosure: I personally think this is a major stretch).

But I disagree. Emmrich literally tells Rook that the thing holding HIMSELF back from fully pursuing Lichdom is that he can just die. Like, another Watcher would kill him (Vorgoth), and the process would insert his soul back into his body and that is how he would be granted immortality, but there's also a chance he'd die and not come back at all. So, with that, it would mean that choosing Lichdom DOES force Emmrich to come to terms with the fact that he may die, because that's how becoming a Lich works.

People also say that Emmrich's fear of dying is transferred to a romanced Rook when he states he is afraid he'll have to mourn them forever. I can see where that's coming from, but it's more of a new fear he has. Cause he's already lost Manfred, and he's making his own peace with the sacrifice of losing him to gain Lichdom. (Yes, he cries in his room but like, that's what grief is? It's a journey to acceptance, and even then grief can be complicated. Like, it's sad do not get me wrong and I love Manfred dearly, but I would be MORE concerned if Lich!Emmrich was NOT crying or mourning Manfred's death).

AND even if you do save Manfred, the fight before Ghilan'nain is STILL Emmrich showing this fear that he'll die and that he'll die before Rook will, and their age difference. So, with either choice, Emmrich either faces death and then becomes a Lich, or he lives his life having to make peace with the fact that he's going to die eventually. Either choice is hard to do, but both still fulfill the need for him to face his fears IMO?

IDK I'm probably not the only person to bring this up, but like I genuinely want to hear people's thoughts on Lich!Emmrich (outside of the bone daddy stuff LOLLL) because for my fic, I'm GENUINELY torn as to what to do with keeping him mortal or making him a Lich.

[jjslvt]

my thoughts on this character. pls tell me someone understands lol (long af like a fanfic. sry 😭 i went on a rant for him bruh)

(TW: topics about drug addiction, mental health issues)

a little scared to post this… ngl lmao

i haven’t seen a post on this yet but i haven’t dug deep into tags at all and am sorta new ish so! others have probs talked about this? i struggle finding stuff. searching is my weak point lol.

anyways — when i watched obx, the character that suffered the most was undoubtedly jj maybank (fight me). and i can write a novel analyzing it (like many of us can). esp since he is the character, i and others can relate to. but this won’t be about him.

there’s another character that suffered also… it was so overlooked and it’s complicated af. because jj is a good ish person overall and this character… is questionable because he does make serious mistakes. he harms the pogues. he commits crimes that i cannot excuse… but i think he deserves a chance at redemption?

rafe cameron.

something that is highly overlooked is rafe’s childhood neglect and drug addiction. pls hear me out a lil? 🙂‍↕️

i hated him so damn much seasons one thru three. so this is coming from someone who thought would never change the stance on that. rafe and ward drove me up the wall! ask my dad cos i was yelling at the tv stressed af when those two were doing shit. but season four had me start to slowly see something else. that he had some humanity still? the hug between him & sarah actually hit me…

i’m an open minded person. i’m open to rethinking things and i have. it’s not just cos i like drew starkey now. i am becoming a fan of him as well. & yeah, he’s another obx hottie. i get it but i have really thought hard about this.

back to the point, rafe actually needed help.

why is this never thought of?

a child is showing signs… and not a single person did anything. granted, what can i expect from the parents of obx? ward had a favorite which was sarah. obviously (also wheezie? hello? another one to be neglected by everyone?). which starts rafe’s desperate need for validation and approval especially from his father.

that is a very difficult thing to work around. desperation causes for a lot of shit to happen and it does take a toll on you. combined with a child who already had a problem early on… then gets into drugs later in life.

rafe could have been helped early but no shit was given. just ignored the kid’s needs. kids need guidance. what the hell can a ten year old child understand about that? sometimes, i think… what would have happened to rafe if he wasn’t neglected? for some reason, i feel like he would be a good person… i feel like he just never got the chance??

lemme get to drug addiction- & unless you know what a drug addiction is like, don’t talk. don’t judge. don’t even try me because sadly, i can relate to rafe here a little… 🫠 something i didn’t think would happen but fuck, i can. i’ve been through it.

i think drugs amplified whatever mental health issue he might have had since childhood. i feel like it does play a big role in why he did bad things. drugs are no fucking joke… the effects are damaging. it mentally and physically wrecks your body, the more you do. in some cases, many won’t even realize they have an addiction. the tolerance you develop and the way it hooks you is strong. society judges this… i find it sad. we should help people. some people get to a point where they think there is no way out and drugs will help! btw, my experience… my doctor caused it, i didn’t originally seek it. (yeah, got a fucked up past story there when i really got fucked over by people but i won that battle).

next, it is very hard to train your brain… it gets harder the older you get. so child rafe having possible neglected mental health issues going into adulthood? yikes! it’s really not as easy to fix as you might think! i learned from past (forced) therapy, REWIRING YOUR BRAIN is extremely difficult, especially for people like this!!

i feel like… he had cries for help and nobody listened. so, he went down a dark path unfortunately. it was wrong af. i do know that.

when ward left… he started changing, slowly. i noticed that. his father’s influence held a strong hold on him. our parents and how they raise us do shape us in ways.

this is one recent edit that killed me. cos i understand.

i know he’s old enough to know right from wrong, etc. but when your brain is… in a place like this? i just… as fucked as it is, it’s hard. he should have gotten help is all i’m saying overall! and he committed literal crimes, he should get reprimanded, of course i think that! but can he reform? should he be given a chance? honestly, i say yes. if he really means it and put work into… he’s got a lot to make up for and i know what he did (murder) shouldn’t really be forgiven but… idk 😭 would it have happened if he wasn’t neglected, used drugs, etc? that question lingers too much on my mind which makes me think all this…

am i rafe apologist, am i crazy?

[skunkes]

old drawings i found and enjoyed while looking for something else

[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

[innocentcurse]

Floyd smiled at Copper’s words, genuinely touched by the sentiment. It was easy to forget, sometimes, how much Copper had been a constant in his life, particularly as the two had been separated time and time again, not overly close for very long bouts at one time. "I get that, I get what you mean," Floyd said, his voice quiet but filled with warmth. "Enough with the mushy stuff, huh?" he teased lightly, his grin widening. "Oh Cops, you've already gone way into mushy territory, it's far too late," he laughed. "But I suppose I can let it slide. Only 'cause you're being such a good host."

Floyd’s smile softened as they continued talking, especially when Copper asked him if he missed the circus. The question brought a mix of nostalgia and sadness to his chest, the sadness in particular radiating through his entire body like the buzzing of a bee. "I do miss it," Floyd admitted, his gaze dropping to his beer for a second before his eyes returned to meet Copper’s. "It was my whole world for so long… I guess not everything can last forever, but I don't know," he shrugged his shoulders as he thought of what next to say. "I guess I'm still just trying to figure out who I am without it, where my place is here, and my parents..." Floyd felt such immense guilt over making them lose their livelihood, not that that was a detail that any of them spoke of freely. "I think they miss it too, but they also seem to have settled in here better than I have."

"I'd like to see some sort of carnival or circus here, yeah, I think it'd totally be a hit," he chuckled as he thought of the scene, though he couldn't deny the fact that the thought also had him feeling a certain amount of dread, too. "If there were to be one brought here, though, as much I'd love to work it, I don't think I'd fully take on the same jobs, the same roles. I don't know, maybe I shouldn't work there at all - not that it's anything more than hypothetical now. Maybe there was a reason for me to have to move on from it, though, you know?"

"Thank you," he laughed and blushed through all of Copper's compliments. "It's all so complicated, though. It's more than looks, more than personality, even. I know I'm not the only one with baggage, with differences, but sometimes I feel like... a robot, or something, compared to other people, like I'm some sort of alien, even..." Floyd's words trailed off, his mind swirling with sad thoughts. Thankfully after only a moment, Floyd caught himself, coming back to reality. "Sorry, don't know why I got so... well, real I guess."

"Oh yeah?" Floyd's face lifted with an intrigued brightness as Copper began to tell him of his own love life; he found himself much more excited for his friend than what he would have thought he'd be. "Well just like you said to me, there's no rush. Take things at your own pace, let yourself feel terrified, and go with what feels right," Floyd didn't feel overly qualified to give advice, but still, he was going to try his hardest. "I think you'll feel it when you're ready, I think even if it's still scary, you'll just know. Love is one of those mysterious things, you know? One of those things that just... feel like a whole other force, unlike any other that we know."

Being with Floyd like this was just easy. That was what Copper kept thinking once his friend had arrived at his house, the two of them talking like they’d been hanging out like this so many times before. To an outside observer, it probably would have been a shock to know the full details of their friendship and how it had come to be. They talked and laughed, and yes, Copper felt a little thrill at the prospect of sharing a bed with his friend, but that was just because he was a man who liked other men, and Floyd was…well, hot. If he saw the man at the bar, he’d probably make a move, but right now it felt so good to just have someone he could confide in. “You know,” he said, “you’re the only person in town I can say has known me a long time. Everyone else here…they’re new. But not you, and that’s more comforting than I expected.” Once more, Copper smiled at Floyd, and then he laughed, saying, “Alright, I know, enough with the mushy stuff.”

“I’m sure I’ll get top marks then,” Copper retorted, “though I’m not above bribery - not that my pizza needs it though.” It really was the best, at least in Copper’s extremely fair and unbiased opinion. Upon seeing Floyd’s reaction, Copper smiled in satisfaction. “Damn right it does,” he shot back. “It’s perfect, just admit it. It’s possible I put a little extra into this one for you.” That was actually true: Copper had spent a long time getting the toppings perfectly proportional, and he was pleased with his work. With the pizza still cooling, Copper took a sip of his beer and listened to Floyd talk about how things had been here for him. “Yeah, that’s for sure,” Copper laughed. “This town is…well, peculiar, but I like that. Seemed like a good place for me to start over.” He thought about how far Floyd had come, how much things had changed, and as he began to cut the pizza into slices, he asked, “Do you ever miss the circus? It was such a huge part of your life for so long. I bet it would have been a big hit here.” And that was when Copper realized something: “This is kind of the place for the strange ones, the ones who don’t quite fit in most of the time, you know?” he commented. 

The way that Floyd laughed at Copper’s question was so adorable; Copper liked seeing that shyness inside of him. It was sweet. “There’s no rush of course, but for real, Floyd. Take it from a gay man: you’re super hot. So whenever you’re ready, you’re going to be beating them off with a stick.” Now it was Copper’s turn to be shy, grinning at his friend as Floyd turned the question back on him. “I’ve been enjoying the men of Cardinal Hill a bit,” Copper admitted, and then it all hit him, the very different circumstances for his single life, and his smile fell right off of his face. His voice noticeably more reserved, Copper went on, “I like talking with guys, like taking them to bed, even like friends with benefits. But I haven’t dated anyone. I don’t know if I’m ready for that.” Copper didn’t think he would have to explain why; he figured Floyd understand. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m getting close,” he admitted, thinking of someone in particular, “but it’s kind of terrifying.”

[ceramicbeetle]

actually first ep of Voyager where Janeway talks to Tuvok about how his family misses him is that when she says they Worry about him Tuvok contradicts her and claims that Vulcans don't do that but when she corrects and says they Miss him he accepts this and admits he misses them too; implying perhaps a pedantic difference between 'Vulcans do not Feel Emotions' (false) and 'Vulcans do not Act Out of Emotion' (accurate) -> 'Miss/Longing' is an emotion, but 'Worry' is an action one does out of emotion -> one Vulcans do; one Vulcans do not.

[keeps-ache]

think this is funny. anyway. the Thoughts are back at it again

[seventh-district]

so uh. that 2.2 Special Program, huh

[arcane-clown]

Why is getting ready in the morning so difficult does anyone know anything about excessive daytime sleepiness / narcolepsy and have like tips and tricks for forcing the body to move when it literally cant but ive got stuff to do like literally just walk down the hall to go to the bathroom (and like i have more than just that to do but mornings suck so much)

[immortalsins]

not to keep muaythaiblogging but im so proud of myself i could cry

[bisexualmaedhros]

transfem furries hornyposting online about the relatively niche/"out there" things they're into have inadvertently helped me accept myself more than the body positivity movement of the 2010s ever did

[izzy-b-hands]

why couldn't the rain have waited until AFTER Housemate was at work to start pouring like this