#also initially i only had until like. chapter 10 planned and a few vague ideas for the future chapters | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thatonesadending · 4 years ago

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After being set adrift as a sheep in the astral sea, and making it into this strange city that they had followed Lucien into, Caleb is left alone with his thoughts and suspicions on what's really going on in Lucien's head. Can he bring all of his friends safely home while not being able to use the magic that Lucien can so easily dispel.

Or in other words. How Caleb defeats Lucien with a kiss, and ends up with two magical purple men by his side. Oh and it was really Sprinkles that saved the day!

He liked being a sheep. It was almost peaceful, floating in the astral sea without a thought in his fuzzy head. The tumbling only made him a little dizzy, but other than the occasional shout of his companions, his mind was quiet. He would like it to stay that way, maybe.

But of course, that was not in his cards. Beau had grabbed him by the wool shortly after she had come through the gate, keeping him from straying too far. He didn't mind the rough yank from her, or even mini Veth clinging to him as they sailed towards the city. But Jester's aggressive petting once they reached their destination was a little much. He very much didn't like when she put Sprinkle/Artigone on his back and declared them "best furry friends", and the damn fey weasel began tunneling through his wool coat trying to tickle him. Essek had wordlessly picked up the small fey and handed it back to Jester, while stroking Caleb's woolen head, and apparently ignoring the others as they bickered about a plan.

Sheep are not very smart, so it took Caleb a very long time to realize Essek was petting him. And even longer to realize he was bleeding fairly heavily. Suddenly, whatever wild magic had changed his form evaporated and Caleb was himself again, on his hands and knees in this mysterious magical city, and Essek's hand midway through carding his hair.

"Oh, apologies." Essek snatched his hand back before Caleb could even process their positions. The movement had obviously hurt whatever injury the Dow was suffering through, but before he could comment on it, Jester was calling out to him.

"Oh good, you are back! You were really really cute as a sheep Caleb, but you couldn't cast the tower. Can you do that, and we can do the hero's feast, and rest, and -" Fjord cut her off.

"Jes, we might need to figure out where Lucien and Cree went first before we are safe taking a long rest."

Right. Lucien.

The whole reason that being a sheep had been initially a very nice experience. He could stop thinking about Lucien. And, well, what wasn't Lucien.

"You good?" Beau was in his head, and he turned his head to look for her and realize he was still on his hands and knees next to Essek. As the embarrassment crawled up his neck, and thump his ass to the ground and took a moment before responding.

"Is good even an option at the moment?"

"Fair. But like, right now, you are in check? That was pretty reckless teleporting like that."

Caleb found her standing 10 feet away, shifting uncomfortably and staring at him. Instead of answering he just nodded his head, he wasn't sure if it was a lie or not but Beau took it.

They had decided that the tower wouldn't be a good idea until they knew they were safe, and the dome and a short rest would have to do for now. They had set up their quick camp in between two of the unfamiliar buildings, thinking that to be safer than out in the open. The alley was only 15 feet wide, but opened out to two large streets that hopeful they could get away quickly if need be. Caleb was not really paying attention though, all of his swirling thoughts and overthinking came back. What they were facing was …. daunting. There were too many unknowns, questions, and possibilities to think through and make a plan. Lucien has proven to be incredibly powerful, but also impossibly confusing. None of them really knew what he wanted, or why he wanted them to be there to watch. Whatever it was, it could not be good.

Lucien said he wanted to make dreams come true through his reign, it was vague and threatening enough to send a chill through Caleb’s spiking hope. Caleb had only one dream at that moment, and that was that all of his friends made it safely home from Aeor alive. All of them. It was an impossible dream, especially since he wasn't sure how many friends he had here in this strange city.

A purple hand was resting on his knee as he sat in the dome, eating and tuning out the Mighty Nein’s arguing. Caducess had healed Essek as much as he was able, but the other wizard was still clearly very tired and out of his element. It was the second time that day Essek had reached out to Caleb, well if you could count petting him through his shock of the battle, while Caleb was numbly enjoying being a mindless sheep. Normally this would have caused a little rumble of warmth and pleasure in Caleb’s chest. They had been through so much as of late, and despite it all, Caleb would be lying if he said he wasn't beginning to feel more than just friendship for the other man. However, right now, the sight of those purple fingers touching him was causing his vision to become watery, and his chest tighten with anxiety.

They were reminding him of the one thought he didn't want to dwell on, the dangerous suspicion he had not said out loud yet to anyone. They reminded him of a very different friendship that, while short, had influenced almost every choice he had made in the last year or so. Had encouraged him to see himself as more than just the worthless scars of his past, worthy of love and caring from his friends, and to leave things better than when he found them. These dark purple hands brought back memories of lavender ones that were quick to help him up when he had fallen, slap him when he was lost, and to embrace him when he was lonely. A lavender that now was being worn by a man that did not deserve them, or the memories attached to them that he claimed not to have, but still seemed to affect him.

Caleb said nothing, not just for fear of how the others would react, but how it might be their undoing. He had tested this theory a few times now, with different degrees of success. The other’s had too, but he wasn't sure they had known what they could be doing at the time. Beau couldn't help annoying Lucien, it was just in her nature. And Jester, how for all the God’s she had pulled those cards was beyond him, but it had clearly had an effect. And now, despite having multiple opportunities, Lucien had not killed them, but rather invited them to the show. But what if ….

No, he couldn't think about that, he had to push it aside. If him and his found family were going to make it through this alive, he could not continue to entertain this dangerous thought. They - he - had to focus on the problem at hand, and that was what they were going to do next time -

“So you have paid for your ticket I see. Why don't you come see the preview of my show?”

You would have thought a spell had been cast to turn Caleb and Beau into stone, for how suddenly ridged they had gotten. It was too soon. They hadn't had any time to rest, plan, they could not survive another brutal confrontation. Essek’s hand tightened on Caleb’s knee, a silent quention, one that he didn't have an answer for. He slowly met Beau’s eyes from across the dome where she sat next to a very nervous Yasha.

“I promise, you all will make it to the main event, as long as you come and be a friend.”

“Beau, is it him? Is it - is it Lucien?” Yasha was strong, but her normally quiet voice that was now shaking was giving away how distressed she was. Caleb knew this had been all very hard for her, watching Lucian reak havoc on them while wearing the face of her oldest friend. It was part of why Beau, wanting so badly to comfort her new girlfriend, had been extremely cautious as of late, trying to minimize the damage when possible. However, she was clearly losing her cool at the moment. Beau was firmly holding on to Caleb’s attention as the now visible anger was tensing all of her muscles, causing her words to be more spat than spoken.

“The dick couldn’t even let us eat in piece before fucking around with us again.”

The dome was very quiet, as they all were incredibly aware how vulnerable they were, and how they couldnt even tuck tail and run if they wanted. They were not just tired, but not nearly healed enough, and so emotionally worn out from the excitement of the day that none of them were capable of a wise thought. Maybe that's why he did it.

Caleb dispelled the dome and stood. It's not like the dome provided safety to them from Lucien if he wanted their attention, he would just dispel the magic. Besides, he couldn't leave it in place and do what he was about to.

“I will go speak with him. You all can stay here, it would be safer.” He said. Beau had already led the way once today, and she was clearly too wrung out to be asked to do that again. Lucien had not said all of them needed to go, and for whatever his promise was worth, he claimed not to want to hurt him yet.

“Like hell you will.” Veth had since returned to her normal size, but her shrill voice cut through all of the tenuous silence of the others, unleashing a new wave of arguing. Caleb was tired of the back and forth, the fear, the unknown. He just wanted to get this over with, and if the Gods had any mercy left, would get Lucien to leave them alone long enough to get a bit of sleep. Hell, if he had to welcome Lucien back in his tower so that he could get some rest so that he could think through whatever upcoming plans Lucien had, he was just about ready to do that.

The only one who caught him walking about from the group in the dark was Essek, the others too busy rehashing old plans they already knew weren't going to work. “Where do you think you are going?” He hissed in the dark as Caleb followed Lucien’s mental pull.

“I am going to get some answers. Please go back with the others, you will be safer.”

“Do not pretend to care for my safety when you are carelessly abandoning yours.” Essek could have just replied with a thought, but he did not, choosing to let his commanding voice echo in the dark, bouncing off the alley walls, destroying any chance Caleb had to slip away from the others.

Veth and Jester were already on their way to drag him back when they all saw the familiar pair of red glowing eyes heading towards them in the direction Caleb had been heading.

“I thought I would continue to be a gracious host and meet you halfway.” Lucien said aloud, his gaze trained on Caleb.

“How thoughtful.” Caleb didn't even try to contain his sarcastic weariness. “Where is Cree?” He had just needed a couple more hours of not thinking about this man, what the future held, and the danger they were all in. Just a couple of hours and then maybe Caleb could have thought of a plan for survival. As it was, Lucien was making large confidant strides towards him, and Caleb felt himself stumbling back to the others.

“She is waiting for me, getting the show prepared.” He offered, as though it was the only natural answer.

“What the fuck do you want Lucien? We followed you through, we haven't tried to attack you, should that earn a fucking moment for ourselves before you drag through whatever stupid shit you have planned?” Caleb had been right, Beau was not in the right frame of mind to be talking to Lucien right now. Maybe that was what he wanted though, his usual annoyance at her was missing, and he was grinning a fang laced snarl at her.

“Now, I promise you I have no ‘stupid shit’ planned.” He said, with an amused condescension that Caleb was sure irritated Beau as much as it did him.

“Are you patronizing me, Lucien? That’s two promises you have made in the last five minutes that I doubt you plan on fucking keeping.” She snapped back. The tieflings smile disappeared, replaced with confusion. Genuine shock at something Beau had said, his guard only dropped for a moment, and Caleb could swear those red pupiless eyes flickered for a moment. He had twitched again, but it faded, and with it lost any good humor he had.

“No, was hoping that you’re going to patronize me. Would rather me reward your group's bravery in joining me here to witness the greatness magic you’ll ever experience, with simply killing you before you get the chance? It would not change any of my plans.” His words came as a growl, a threat. That voice had once been on their side, threatening violence to those that aimed to hurt the Mighty Nien, not directed at them.

“No,” Caleb sighed, trying to gain back a bit of control. “We have come as requested as friends, not foe, for the time being.” The silence was heavy for a moment, the tension thick as none of the Nien knew how to proceed. Jester eventually spoke up.

“So, are you gonna like … tell us what’s going on or like whatever. Because if not, we would really like to finish eating.” Jester was trying to sound cheery, motivating Lucien with her effortless charm to give him more information. However, Caleb’s mind was still lingering on that twitch he had seen, just a moment ago. His suspicion was full force now in the front of his mind, he couldn't shake it, no matter how foolish or unlikely. Maybe his exhaustion was making him soft, it was definitely clouding his judgement, but a plan was starting to form in his head. A foolish plan. More of an experiment, but if was all he had without magic. Caleb was suddenly grateful for his perfect memory, the one that allowed him to remember every word those purple lips had ever spoken to him or around him. All of seemingly wise words and quickly spun bullshit.

“Now Jester, you know his mother always told him to never give away a story for free.” Caleb interjected before Lucien could respond. His red eyes snapped to him, but almost as soon as they did they unfocused. They were surely going to argue with him, ask him why he was appearing to take Lucien’s side, so he quickly pressed on. “So friend,” he directed at the tiefling in front of him, unable to conceal more sarcasm in calling him friend, “ you clearly wanted us here for a reason. You wanted us to come make ourselves useful. Tell me, how can we be the chaos you want to see in the world.”

You would have thought Caleb had struck the blood hunter, his whole lavender form constricting for a moment. Tearror, fear, uncertainty, all flitting across his face before settling on anger. It didn't take Lucien more than two steps to reach Caleb, roughly pushing him back into the alley wall.

“Get the fuck out of my head Widogast.”

Caleb was paralyzed with fear, his half formed plan had had an effect, but now what. He couldn't raise his eyes to meet Lucien’s, knowing they were clear again, and staring him down with venom.

“I was not in your head. Whatever is there, whomever is there, is not of my own doing. I know you do not want to remember anything, do not want anybody else’s baggage in your head, their problems, thoughts, ideas.” Caleb was taking a gamble speaking to Lucien telapaically, but he wanted to make his appeal as deep as possible, take any ounce of luck he might have. Lucien froze again, his eyes impossibly wide with fear. He was too close to Caleb for him to get away, his grip strong on the shoulder that he shoved back against the wall, and pain was ripping through Caleb’s fear. Fire began to curl around his finger tip automatically, just in case this foolish plan went south. Before Caleb could continue though, he caught out of the corner of his eye, Essek preparing a spell, no doubt in effort to save Caleb. But Lucien simply removed his claws from Caleb’s shoulder for a moment, waving angrily to dispel any and all magic around him sending Essek flying backwards in force, and replaced his hand now around Caleb’s throat.

“If any of you so much as think a thought of magic, I will wring his throat until he is dead.” Lucien spat, but his eye still seemed to have lost their sheen, not that the others could see it. Caleb knew he had to act quickly, before Lucien fully came out of his daze that his words had left him in.

“Don't worry, the only thing magical here is you my friend.” Despite the pressure on his neck, and the searing pain in his shoulder, Caleb reached a hand up between them and pressed it lightly to Lucien’s lavender cheek. He stroked it ever so softly. The grip lightened, and the tiefling looked as though the ground had been pulled from under him. The rest of the Mighty Nien must have noticed the change, because they all went still and were watching the odd exchange, none of them knowing what Caleb was saying. The red eyes that had been nearly boiling with rage moment ago, almost looked like a dull pale ruddy marbles, not focused on anything but whatever was going on inside. Purple limbs were trembling around him, not backing away from Caleb, but unable to move other than to shake.

Caleb threw up a silent prayer to the Moonweaver. Hells, to the Wildmother, to the Luxon, to the Traveler. He was going to need any ounce of favor he could garner for what he was going to do next. Keeping his hand on Lucien’s cheek, he used his other hand to guide the now limp and trembling fingers away from his throat, and interlocked them with his. It had been so long since he had gotten to hold these hands, he had to force himself not to look down at them and try and take them all in. Instead, Caleb pushed himself away from the alley wall, closer to the dazed and confused blood hunter, and placed his lips to the man’s forehead.

He was just as warm as Caleb remembered. A curl falling in front of his face as he leaned in to Caleb’s kiss.

“Caleb!” The surprised voice rang through his head like a beautiful chime announcing the morning was here. There was no anger, no hint of condensation, just surprise and … joy. Caleb was failing in his attempt not to hope, his kiss lingered longer than it should, not wanting to face whatever ugly expression could be back on that handsome face. But when he pulled away, he got a smile. His knees nearly gave out in relief, but the free lavender hand was wrapping around him, keeping him upright and from pulling away farther.

“Caleb!” He was now speaking to him outloud, saying his name light a gasp. The smile dancing on his lips was light, it was sweetly mischievous, and not a lick of malice. Then in his head, “Caleb, darling, would you be so kind as to help me get this fucker out of my body.” It wasnt a demand, but a plea to a friend. Caleb felt an almost immediate draining of any will power that was keeping him from hoping, freeing his inhibition. He had no idea how to get Lucien out of this body, but he knew how to draw this voice closer. Closer to him, hopeful never to go again.

The hand that had been resting on a lavender cheek, now threaded through deep purple curls, pulling the tiefling as close as Caleb could get him, lips fitting together perfectly, if a bit desperately. He could hear Jester’s attempt to stifle a gasp, Beau non-attemp to yell “What the fuck!”, Fjord’s chuckle and then loud whisper at Veth to “Just hold on, give’em a minute”. But Caleb didn't care, not sure if he ever would. This kiss was bright, gentle, and held all these unexplored feelings he hadn't wanted to explore on his own. The ones he had just started to open up when death seemed to come and stop him, the ones of accepting love and forgetting guilt. And then there were ones he continued to explore on his own and with his friends, trying to make this world a better place.

Caleb let himself feel the joy in this moment, choosing not to care for now if it would last. The kiss was long, embarrassingly so, arms were still wrapped around him with no indication of release, so he just leaned into it. He didn't know how to banish Lucien, but he felt himself reach out in his mind, and gather up everything that wasnt that evil soul and pull it close. Every good memory, every hopeful moment, every bit of light he could find, he gathered together. Eventually he felt the tiefling chuckle against his lips. The laughter sent such a brilliant sensation of hope, Caleb had to pull away so he could see the face in front of him.

“Mr.Mollymauk Tealeaf?” He inquired, surprised at the hesitation the sent thought had.

“Ja, ja. The one and only Mr.Caleb.” It was no less cute the second time he heard Molly playfully mock his accent with his own barely there one. There was a long moment where the two simply rested their foreheads together, coming down from the incredibly high emotions from the last few minutes. Eventually it was Molly’s turn to pull away and look over Caleb.

“I mean I knew you could clean up pretty, but bless the Moonweaver, how the fuck did you get this handsome?” The easy flirting tone, the one Caleb hadn’t quite gotten used to until it was gone, filled him with more joy then he could possibly hold.

“And you my friend could use a bath and a change into old clothes.” Caleb spoke with a lightness he didn't know he was capable of, laughter lifting up every work. Molly looked down at himself, still water logged from Aeor and missing all of his color.

“You know, I think you are right. Gods this coat should be a sin, a capital offense.” There was no offense in his tone, just mirth. Caleb wanted to reach out and kiss him again, except suddenly Molly was holding him at arms length and looked worried.

“You know he is still in there right? Just … deeper? Like I was.” and the out loud, as though it was an afterthought “He is fighting for center stage. Like fuck I will give it to him with out a proper showdown though.” Even though his words were quite serious, Molly seemed not to let the situation take hold of him, optimism still shining through. Still smiling.

“Gods you two are making quite a show of this, and I really do hate the theater.” An exasperated voice cut through the shocked silence that had taken over the Mighty Nien, and a small wessel wormed its way off of Jester’s shoulder and over to Molly. Before he could say anything, the little quasi-deity of trickery and joy, jumped up to catch him by the wrist and bit down hard. Molly was jumping up and down rather undignified, swatting unsuccessfully at the fey creature but yelling quite a few obscenities. Yasha was the first to break from the Nien, striding over and removing the Traveler from Molly’s wrist without a word.

“What the fuck. Why did a talking rat just bite me Yash?!” Molly was holding his bleeding wrist, looking up at the familiar barbarian like he had never left.

“Excuse me, I would have you know that I am currently a wessel.” The traveler rebuked in what was probably more admonishment then he actually felt.

“Ok, well, whatever the fuck you currently are, why the fuck did you bite me?” But before an answer could be made, Molly was turning to the still stock still group of friends that were currently making no movements to understand all of the events that just happened. “Jester, love, you think you could heal this up? I would hate to make a mess of this lovely drab coat.”

Jester didn't move however, her mouth opened and gaping. Caduceus however was looking between Caleb and Mollymauk, and seemed to be the first to accept what was happening and walked over to Molly. Clasping both his hands the tieflings wrists, he said a prayer of healing without a word.

“Um, thanks. I don't think I have met you before. My name is Mollymauk, but my friends call me Molly.”

Caduceus, is regular form, laughed easily at the introduction. “I am Caduceus, and our friends - well, they call me lots of different names.” Their smiles were easy, that of a fast friendship.

“And the rat-wessel thing that bit me? Does it have a name?” Molly asked.

“Oh, um, that’s the Traveler. At least I think.” Cad spoke as though he was just giving the time of day.

“God’s, and I thought I was good at conning people. Jessie, you really got - oof” Jester slammed her full body weight into Molly, and impossibly, picked up the taller tiefling at the same time.

“If this is a trick, I will never forgive you, I don't care if you are dead Molly, I will really haunt you if you are pranking me!” Jester sounded on the edge of tears.

“Love, how would you haunt me if I was the one that was dead and you weren't?” Molly lovingly replied while stroking Jester's hair while she clung to him.

“Don't underestimate us, we would find a way!” Veth chimed in adding her arms to the hug, despite all she could reach was his thigh.

“Um, I feel like I should know you, but I am not really one to deny a hug.” Molly laughed through obvious confusion at the halfling clinging to his leg.

“It’s Nott you asshole.” she said, never letting go.

“Oh, ok. That makes perfect sense.”

They eventually let go for the others to see, leaving Fjord shaking his head in disbelief, Beau obviously wrestling with either punching or hugging the man, Essek standing back in confusion, and Yasha … arms crossed and distrusting.

“Prove it. Tell me something only he and I would know.” Molly looked a little hurt, but then a wide grin took over his face. The kind he had saved when he had a really great story to tell.

“Well, Yash, there was that time a couple weeks after you brought me to the circus, and I was really trying hard to save up the coin for my first tattoo. And well, I volunteered myself for that ‘after hours’ performance. You being the lovely dear that you are, volunteered with me thinking you would be gentler than the rest, and what was a little rubber and oil between friends. Only, you got me to use a safeword for the firs-” He was tackled for the second time that night, the rest of that story snuffed out by Yasha’s arms.

“I thought we agreed never to bring that up again?!” But she obviously wasnt mad.

Fjord and Beau both broke at the same time, gathering up Molly into a shared embrace. Of course, Beau had to end it with punching him in the shoulder and muttering “asshole” under her breath. Essek was still clinging to the shadows, obviously not wanting to be part of this reunion. Caleb didn’t know how to introduce the two just yet, so instead he clung to the familiar.

“Mollymauk, it seems like we might have a lot to talk about, -”

“Like how you two were KISSING!?” Jester interrupted excitedly.

“Um, well, ah - I meant more of where we are and what to do about Lucien.” Caleb replied.

“You don't have to worry about him anymore.” Sprinkles was once again on Jester’s shoulder, speaking much louder than a wessel should. “I have removed his soul and sent it to the Moonweaver to deal with it. She is a lot better with that kind of thing.”

“Um thanks?” Molly said, clearly still thrown off by the talking fey wessel.

“Not a problem. Besides, I am the only one around here who gets to strangle people until death.” That should have been a horrifying sentence, but Jester was just giggling along with it.

“Ok, before we talk about anything else, you lot wouldn't happen to have my coat? And a place to sleep, I feel like I haven't slept in a year!” Molly playfully whined. He did however look fairly tired. They could get the rest of their questions answered later, all that matter was right now. And right now, they had Molly back with them. Caleb had Molly back.

He couldn't help but shoot the tiefling silly grins as he summoned the tower, looking forward to every next moment Caleb could spend with Mollymauk Tealeaf. Even as he pushed back the guilt of still having Essek by his side.

#critical role #caleb widogast #caleb saves the world #mollymauk is fine #mollymauk tealeaf #i love molly #lucien is an asshole #shadowgast #its still totally a thing and eating caleb alive #mollymauk #i am hopelessly in love with mollymauk and caleb #circus man #its complicated #cr2e136 #cr fanfic #cr fandom

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detectivecarlosreyes · 4 years ago

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In Case of Emergency (Ch 9/10)

Ao3 | 2.9/18.5k | Buddie | Status: Incomplete

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Chapter 9: It’s about time In which Buck and Eddie try to disclose their relationship; if only calls didn’t keep getting in the way. Set in mid-3x18: What’s next.

Things were going well between them. After recovering mentally and physically from Eddie’s ordeal, they were closer than ever, with Buck spending most nights in the Diaz household than he ever was before. He was there for Chris’s first sleepover party, being an incredibly helpful chaperone to a bunch of hyperactive 9-year-olds. He was as much a parent as he was both a form of entertainment for the kids and was a welcome relief to the stresses of parenting such an event.

It was good, practically perfect really, having him home all the time, helping, basically being an integral part of the family. He was rarely in his own apartment anymore, only returning to collect his mail and restock on clothes really.

Buck was effectively living with them full time, his wardrobe slowly but surely integrating into his own and their relationship had progressed to the point that it was near almost impossible for them to keep it to themselves anymore, considering how intertwined their lives had become. So now, in their downtime between calls, nearly every recount of what they did on their time off involved the presence of the other.

They were pretty sure the others were finally catching on. It was hard to miss the side-eyed glances when he mentioned something involving Buck and Chris or when Buck did the same mentioning him and Chris. They were also noticing long considering looks coming from Bobby, especially when they were doing something together alone when at the station, but it was hard to say whether he knew but was waiting for them to come to him or if he just suspected something was going on.

In any case, they knew it was long overdue for them to officially be seen as a couple in the eyes of the team and the universe, except the problem was, anytime they tried to get Bobby alone for a chat or tried to bring it up when there was a dip in conversation, something else became more important.

Their most recent attempt was the closest they had ever gotten, having managed to catch Bobby alone in his office looking at them expectantly behind his desk.

Buck had just managed to utter, “Bobby, there’s something that Eddie and I have been wanting to tell you. We’re in a--”

He was cut off before he could finish the sentence, the call alarm blaring for their attention and distracting them all from the conversation at hand. It resulted in a rushed promise from Bobby that they would finish the chat when they returned after the call.

The call being the train derailment; bringing Eddie face to face with a person that he has only ever heard of.

Abby.

Buck’s ex-girlfriend.

As soon as Buck appeared by his side and said her name Eddie knew exactly who she was. How could he not? Buck had been living in her apartment in the first half of the year of him knowing the man and he remembered how long Buck carried a torch for her. How long he desperately held on to the idea that she was still his girlfriend until he finally let go and moved out of her apartment.

And now here she was, just showing up after all this time; no text, no call, no warning at all that she was coming back into town. Returning with a fiancé no less. He saw the way Buck reacted, how that revelation affected him. And then Buck, his kind-hearted, selfless boyfriend goes and promises her that he’d bring back her fiancé with the heavy implication that he would make sure they brought Sam back alive.

He didn’t understand. He didn’t understand why Buck would make that promise, she had ghosted him for months before he had finally given up on the hope that she’d return. It made him nervous because he knew exactly how far Buck would be willing to go for a promise, and that terrified him.

And he was right. Buck wouldn’t listen to reason, so focused on being able to deliver on his promise that he seemed willing to ignore rational thought. He was so hell-bent on trying to save Sam even though there was no feasible way of rescuing him and the girl, that he was willing to put his life on the line. It was maddening and enough to make him snap out of fear and frustration in a last-ditch attempt to make Buck see reason.

“Buck, stop! Alright, I know you made a promise.”

And then for him to see Buck to back-track and fail to divulge pertinent information to Cap as to why he was acting the way he was, well, it set his teeth on edge and it had him spitting out, “Abby! His fiancé is Abby.”

Unable to look at Buck as he continued to blatantly disregard his own safety for a promise he shouldn’t have made, he left Bobby to deal with him, hoping that maybe the Captain would have more sway in talking Buck down from his dangerous plan. But it seemed not even Bobby could talk Buck down, especially when, much to his chagrin, he was offering admittedly sound reasoning.

That didn’t stop him from worrying about the man the whole time he was out there, hanging off the side of this awfully unstable car. It was one thing to be on the inside if it destabilised and falls, it was another thing entirely to be attached to it on the outside with no way to protect one’s self from the fall.

Thankfully, it was a situation that didn’t eventuate, and for that Eddie was enormously relieved because he wasn’t sure his heart could take it if it did. In the end, he was left with Buck watching as the ambulance drove away and could only imagine how Buck was hurting from seeing Abby and Sam together. It was enough to dispel any residual feelings of frustration and anger that he might have felt about the situation.

In fact, the whole situation was enough to put things in perspective for Eddie. Reminding him of how far he and Buck’s relationship has progressed and how much he wanted it to keep progressing and take the next logical step. But first, they were going to have to deal with Bobby who seemed to have remembered their previous meeting, despite the exhausting call, as he muttered to the two of them to join him in his office once they returned back to the station and restocked the trucks.

“Now what was it that the two of you wanted to talk to me about? Don’t tell me it has something to do with the way you were both acting today in that train car,” Opened Bobby when they finally joined him, looking up from his paperwork with a tired sigh.

“Well, it does, and it doesn’t,” Eddie answered vaguely, causing Buck to shoot him a look as he closed the door and took a seat beside him.

“What’s that supposed to mean, Eddie?” asked Buck in a hushed tone, half-turning in his chair.

“Nothing. We can talk about it later,” he muttered back, not wanting to talk about it right this second.

“If this is about Abby, you know I had no idea that she was coming back.” Pressed Buck.

Before he had a chance to respond to Buck and say that yes it was about Abby but not it the way that he thinks, Bobby was clearing his throat, reminding them that he was in the room and waiting for an answer to his initial question.

“Right, sorry Cap. What Buck and I have been wanting to tell you is that we’re in a relationship.”

Bobby looked between them as if he were trying to gauge whether or not he was joking and must have come to a conclusion because his next question was simply, “How long has this been going on for?”

“Over eight months.” Buck jumped in, answering resolutely, “We wanted to be sure before we told anyone.”

“Well, that clears up a few things.” They heard him mutter under his breath as he pulled out a manila folder from his top desk drawer before addressing them again, “I had a feeling this might come up at some point, I’ve been waiting with the paperwork for the last couple of weeks.”

“You knew?”

“Well,” Bobby drew out as he slid across the relationship disclosure form, “I didn’t know for certain, but I have been suspecting that something was going on, so have Hen and Chim, just didn’t realise exactly how long it’s been going on for.”

He waited patiently after handing a pen to them to fill out the form and sign it before sliding it back to him.

“As your friend, I am happy for the two of you but as your boss let me make one thing clear. If your personal relationship starts to affect your work on the job, I won’t hesitate to transfer one of you to one of the other teams in the station. Understood.”

“Yes, sir.”

“We promise to be 100 percent professional at work just like we have been when you didn’t know about us-”

Bobby raises an eyebrow at that, giving them a pointed look.

“- but we will try to do better at controlling our emotions if and when one of us is in a dangerous situation?” Buck tacked on questioningly, assuming that was Bobby’s look was alluding to.

Bobby nodded in approval before adding in good humour, “I should hope so, however, I have a feeling we might have to revisit this conversation sometime in the future.”

Eddie chuckled as he stood up, “That is entirely possible, but we will do our best to avoid it.”

“Good.” Bobby said with a grin as he offered his hand to both of them, grasping each of their arms warmly with his free hand, “I really am happy for you both. Now go, tell the others.”

With a sigh of relief, they left the office feeling somewhat liberated over finally disclosing their relationship. Admittedly, one of the reasons for their hesitation was that they weren’t sure they would be allowed to continue working in the same team and they wanted to prolong the moment for as long as they could, not wanting to be separated. But it seemed they were worried for nothing and now they could bring Hen and Chim into the loop.

Funnily enough, they didn’t have to look far for their friends, finding them not so subtly loitering nearby. Feeling Buck’s fingers thread between his own as they move to greet the other two, Eddie found himself unable to keep the smile from his face, knowing that this was something they could now do freely in front of their friends.

They barely had to say anything, with Hen immediately zeroing in on their joined hands and crowed in delight over their announcement before a group hug was instigated by Chim, celebrating their news, and declaring how overjoyed they were.

“Can I just say you two are adorable,” Hen remarked when they relocated to the couches, causing him to blush over the comment, knowing that he and Buck had left little room between each other on the couch and had yet to relinquish the other’s hand. “And it’s nice to see that you guys are so comfortable about it after only a couple of months, I honestly thought you’d be more awkward about it.”

“Well,” Buck drew out in a contradictory higher register, “I’d say that’s because it’s been a bit longer than a couple of months.”

“Uhh, how long is ‘a bit longer’?” chimed in Chim, parroting the short phrase back at them.

Eddie looked at Buck who in turn looked at him, and they had a momentary silent conversation based on eyebrow movements and head tilts over who got to break the news. It ended with him sighing and turning back to the waiting pair, knowing what their reaction would be, “Some time since before Halloween last year.”

Their collective response to the admittance had him both wincing and trying to suppress the laughter that was bubbling in his chest over Chim and Hen’s affronted exclamations that they had waited so long to tell them.

“In our defence, we stopped actively trying to keep it a secret at the beginning of the year, we thought you’d figure it out sooner.”

“So, at all the gatherings this year, when you just happened to be dressed similarly and always also came in the same car together with Christopher and seemed to spend your days off together more often than not, that was you being a couple?”

“Yep!” Buck confirmed, popping the p as he relaxed further into the couch cushion and pressed himself more heavily into Eddie’s side.

“Oh my god, that makes so much sense. I can’t believe we didn’t see it.”

They watched as Hen and Chim withdrew into themselves re-evaluating all the moments together and realising what was so blatantly there. It was after a few more drawn-out minutes that Chim startled and stared Buck down.

“Wait, does Maddie know?”

Naturally just as Buck is about to respond, the call alarm sounded sending them all into a flurry to head down to the trucks. Chim however stopped at the bottom of the stairs and repeated his question more loudly. “Buck! Does Maddie know?”

Eddie watched out of the corner of his eye as Buck stopped mid-step and turned back to Chim gesturing for him to hurry up as he does so, “Yes Chim, Maddie was the first to know, now come on, we’ve got to go!”

This jump-started Chim back into action, “Right, yes, of course.” But that didn’t stop him from muttering that he couldn’t believe she didn’t tell him sooner.

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

It’s not until they make it back home, do they revisit the aborted conversation that started in Bobby’s office.

“So Eds,” Buck opened with from the bathroom doorway having just finished brushing his teeth, “it’s later. Want to tell me what you meant in Bobby’s office.”

He sighed, realising that he might have been a bit dramatic about the whole situation as he shucked on his bed shirt, “I didn’t really mean anything by it, honestly.”

“I feel like that sigh said otherwise,” Buck observed as he turned off the bathroom light and flipped back the covers, and slid into bed.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Buck! In that train car, I was just so worried about how far you’d go for that stupid promise. That’s all,” he ended up saying in hushed exasperation, turning on the bedside lamp and moved around the room to turn off the bedroom light before moving to climb into his side of the bed.

Buck wrapped an arm around his shoulder when he did and he let Buck pull him into his side, “I only said that because I was thrown. I haven’t seen or spoken to her in almost 2 years and she came back with a fiancé.”

He huffed at that and pushed his mild annoyance aside, relaxing into Buck’s embrace instead, “Okay, so maybe I was being a bit irrational too. But so were you promising to save him, you know that we’re not supposed to do that.”

“I know. And as much as I know I shouldn’t after the way things ended between us, I do still care about her, I didn’t want to be the reason she didn’t get to be happy.”

He repositioned his head to settle it more closely to Buck’s heart speaking softly, “I get it,” and then after a period of quiet as they listened to each other breathe he suggested, “You should go see her.”

The was a beat of hesitation from Buck, “…you sure?”

“Yeah, of course. I mean, I may resent her as your friend and boyfriend for what she did, but this is about you. You deserve to get the closure she owes you.”

There’s a long considering pause as Buck thought it over, long enough that Eddie actually thought he might have fallen asleep, so he shifted across Buck’s warm chest to turn off the lamp and resettle back onto his pillow.

“Eddie?” is spoken softly into the darkness, the sound of a head turning on a pillow.

Rolling back onto his side to face Buck even in the darkness, he places a hand on Buck’s bare chest, “Yeah Buck?”

“I just want you to know how much I love being part of your life. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I promise to do everything in my power to keep it that way for as long as you’ll have me.”

Smiling softly at the heartfelt declaration, he uttered immediately in response, “I love being part of your life too Buck and I know how seriously you take your promises." He pressed a kiss to the tip of Buck’s shoulder, "Don't worry, I don’t intend on letting you go anytime soon.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” He felt as Buck adjusted his position slightly to drop a kiss to the crown of his head with a contented sigh.

The conversation trailed off after that and he could feel Buck slowly drifting off beneath him. He wasn’t lying, after everything the day had brought and the months leading up to it, Eddie knew one thing for certain; he wanted to take the next natural progression in their relationship and have Buck move in properly, officially. Now he just needed the assistance of one Christopher Diaz to make it happen.

#jess writes #my fic #911 fic #buddie fic #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 on fox #buddie #911 fox #userkourt #userkimmy #userpauline #userjillian #eddiesdiaz #gracieli #useraninha #javachik #tuserjamie #buddie4ever20

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ka-za-ri · 4 years ago

Text

Prize Pt 2

Henlo! more commissioned smut? Heck yeah!! Uh... I suck at summaries, so please enjoy the Satan smut. I’m sorry, but also not really... ‘cause I will never apologize for slammin’ down some pr0nz your way. Enjoy! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

Chapter Index and Obey Me! Masterlist: here Ao3 Mirror: Here Pairing: Satan x Reader Genre: smut Wordcount: 6,200 ish Tags: Demon Sex, Rough Sex, Breeding Kink Summary: Now that you’ve pieced together what’s going on, it’s up to you to take control of this game.

Match Point

After your private ‘study session’ with Asmodeus, something changed among the brothers. Their attempts became much more candid. As if a seal had been broken, it was common now for one of them to make a scene at the table first thing in the morning to usurp your time after classes. Even if none of them had stated what their damn game was, it was clearly a competition to claim your body as theirs. Asmo’s brief mention of having children together only helped confirm the suspicion you had ever since the beginning.

Now that you had a better idea of what they were plotting, it became easier to predict their plans. Even if you knew what they were up to, it didn’t mean that you had the ability to avoid them until another breaking point like what happened with Asmo. Whether it was to stay late and do some ‘make up’ work with Lucifer or to have an innocent ‘movie night’ with Belphegor, you came to expect some level of intimacy with every one of your meetings with the brothers.

At least now with their plan mostly exposed, you knew who you wanted to be with if your hypothesis was true. Unfortunately for you, trying to get any sort of dedicated time with Satan was nearly impossible unless he initiated due to how his brothers were playing. Not only that, out of all of his brothers, he seemed to be the most detached from the game. His aloof, nonchalant strategy attracted you if only because he seemed much safer to be around.

As the days passed, it became more difficult to dodge their advances; and at some point, it was normal to find yourself whisked from one raunchy whirlwind fuck to another. Any spare time you had was essentially dedicated to avoiding them if you could. Whether it was due to luck or it was his game plan to the competition, Satan approached you with a deal.

“Study date?” he suggested, pointing in the direction of the library one day before breakfast. “There’s a test in Demon History later next week, and I know you were sleeping through it.”

You sighed in relief. A day without anyone accosting you seemed like a dream. The fact that Satan had specifically pointed out the library gave you enough security to feel like he wasn’t going to try any sort of funny business. Though there were lingering doubts about his intentions, a chance to just get away from it all was ideal; and it gave you the chance you were looking for to spend time with him.

Any attempts Mammon made at the table that day were quickly shot down with confidence. Your preapproved arrangements with Satan gave you the peace of mind that you’d be able to rest your body as well as get some actual studying done. You knew your notes weren’t the best; and with how studious he was, you were sure you could bribe Satan to let you copy his own.

“Thanks,” you mumbled once you met up with him at the library.

“For what?” he looked up from his book and cocked an eyebrow.

“For you know…getting me away from all that today. You know how chaotic it’s been. You’re a lifesaver.”

“I’m only making sure you pass that test,” he shrugged and went back to his book. “I’d hate for the average of the class to drop because you’re not doing well.”

Due to all the antics that ensued among the brothers, it was odd the most calming thing you could do was to actually knuckle down and study. You didn’t think fretting over your classes would be less stressful than finding a way to discreetly avoid everyone; yet there you were, copying notes and trying to make sense of the Demonic timeline. Things were only made worse when prominent members of Demonic society started to time travel.

“How do you even pass a test with all this information in it?” you lamented, idly flipping through the textbook. You understood the words on the pages separately; but when you tried to comprehend them together, it was practically a different language to you.

Satan put down his book and looked at the pages you were grumbling over. He shrugged and took back his notebook once he saw you were done copying everything down. “Memorize it. It doesn’t have to make sense if you just know everything.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You’ve only lived through half of this history.”

“Not really. Closer to maybe about 10% of it. The others? Maybe a quarter of it. History is very long, longer if you count all the time travel.”

“I don’t want to count all of the time travel.”

“It’s going to be on the test,” he warned.

“Ugh, fine. Just help me with how to make sense of this chart then,” you turned the textbook over to him on the page with an extensive, yet somehow it was still labeled ‘abbreviated,’ flowchart of Demonic history. “If I can memorize this, then maybe my grade won’t be too bad.”

He chuckled, looking over the page and pointing out the key events you would need to know. “A lot of this is just found in trivia games. The more important stuff is going to be underlined in red.”

You nodded, picking up your pen to start jotting down the important dates but then paused when you got a few lines in. “Wait. Almost everything is underlined in red.”

“Guess there’s a lot of important stuff in there.”

You huffed, realizing that you weren’t getting anymore help than he was willing to give. It was already a breakthrough for you that he was even willing to tolerate your presence alone for a longer period of time than necessary. The tranquil ambiance of the library seemed to bring out a more mellow side of him. Having a time and a place where none of the other brothers could bother you did wonders to your blood pressure and mentality.

Hours passed as you poured your heart into memorizing as much as you could before you were kicked out of the library. With how chaotic things were outside of that sacred quiet place, you didn’t know when the next time you would get any sort of quiet time to study would be. Your eyes ached, and your brain struggled to remember the last thing you read by the time Satan suggested leaving.

“Do you think you’ll do well?”

“Depends on how much of all of this is going to be retained,” you shrugged. “Hopefully it’ll be good enough to pass.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t let me down. I’d hate to see you be the reason the class average goes down,” he teased.

You pouted, even more determined to pass now more than ever. “Fine. Whatever, just help me study again next week. There’s an Advanced Sigils test soon, and I still don’t understand half of what’s going on.”

“Are you really having trouble in that class, or are you just trying to spend more time with me?” he raised a brow, curious as to how you would answer his inquiry.

“Is it not allowed to be both? If I’m studying with you it means I don’t get bombarded with requests to go out, and I get to actually do some schoolwork. Do you know how hard that is to do when Levi is rattling off TSL trivia in the middle of trying to do homework? At least you’re willing to do it in the library, and I’m guaranteed a few hours of real concentration time.”

Satan chuckled, his eyes crinkling in untold joy at your words, “Well then, let’s make it a regular thing then,” he suggested. “I will admit, it was nice to have you around for company.”

You broke out in a grin, feeling as though some progress was finally being made with him. Seeing him like this, unbothered by the presence of his brothers, softened the generally haughty nature he displayed when around others. You’d hold onto the precious softness he showed you for as long as you could, so asking for more study dates with him seemed to be the most logical thing to do.

“So, see you next week?”

“Same time, same place,” he confirmed.

Study dates with Satan were the thing you looked forward to the most during your week. Often, you found yourself daydreaming about the next peaceful date with him in the library. It gave you the sanity to survive the otherwise hectic life you lead. Having a predetermined break in your week also gave you time to figure out what to do the next week when it came to dodging as many advances as you could from the others.

You always felt safe with him. Perhaps it was because you always met with him in a public space, or perhaps it was just because he never overtly tried anything with you. The two of you stayed a respectable distance from one another with no pretenses or ulterior motives. With all the chaos that surrounded you, it was nice to actually have a dedicated time to get away from it all and focus on classes or daydream about times back in your realm. Satan didn’t seem bothered with your dozing off unless he knew there was a test looming near. Then, he would put some effort into pointing out the right books to pull from the library to aid your struggles. If he felt merciful, he would offer to tutor you, though that opportunity rarely presented itself. Even if Satan was in on the competition, at least it didn’t seem like he was intent on making his move during those peaceful moments.

So, when he abruptly disappeared in the middle of the week and refused to answer any of your messages, you quickly became worried about his well being. None of the others mentioned his condition, and they all carried on with their lives as if his disappearance was normal. You heard vague whispers, but nothing you could make out or really understand.

You didn’t admit it to anyone, but you missed Satan. Not just because of the quiet times you got to spend with him, but his overall aura and company kept you sane. To have that go missing without warning was a shock to your system, and you didn’t know how to handle it.

“Is Satan sick?” you brought up the topic finally during breakfast while the others went about their morning routines. “I haven’t seen him in a few days.”

“He’ll get over what he’s got in a day or two. It shouldn’t be much longer,” Lucifer answered calmly with a shrug, his eyes never leaving the article he was reading on his D.D.D.

“None of you are worried? I mean, he’s just gone for half a week, and you don’t question it?”

“Aww, you really don’t gotta worry yourself over him,” Mammon reassured with a pat on your shoulder. “All of us gotta go through it too. He’s just unlucky that he’s gotta go through it now while you’re around.”

“Wait. What?” you blinked, trying to understand what they were talking about. The way Mammon talked about it and how nonchalant everyone was made it seem like it was a normal occurrence. Your mind went through the notes you had taken during Demonic Culture Studies in an attempt to figure out if it was some sort of rite of passage for demons when they became a certain age. Nothing clicked.

It wasn’t until you heard Asmodeus skipping out of the room that you recalled what he had said weeks ago.

“Makes me wish I was rutting right now so I could breed you over and over again.”

Ah. Maybe, just maybe...

The term was vaguely familiar to you. You were sure you had heard it during a lecture at some point, but couldn’t remember which one. Luckily, after a quick search online, you were able to get an idea of what he might be going through. If your suspicions proved to be true, it would be an ideal opportunity for you to play the game in a way that would guarantee your favor. Running through your schedule and obligations, you cleared up the rest of your day, determined to get to the bottom of all of this.

“Are you alright? I haven’t seen you around in a few days,” you knocked on his door after classes, hoping to get some answers. Satan had been avoiding everyone; and though you had an inkling as to why, you needed to confirm it for yourself.

You didn’t dare to breathe while you waited for the door to open. You could hear him get up and move around. Just as you thought he would finally let you in, there was a long uncomfortable moment of silence. You could feel him hesitate before finally turning the handle and cracking the door open just a bit. “Sorry, I haven’t been feeling well…”

From what you could see through the tiny crack, he looked as if he hadn’t slept in days. His normally messy hair was even more unkempt than usual. It was clear he didn’t want to be anywhere near you, but disappearing for days on end without notice was concerning. The others seemed to know what was going on, but kept themselves mum about it all. It was frustrating to have to take things into your own hands and figure things out for yourself.

“I got notes from class for you,” you offered, reaching into your bag and pulling out your notebook. “I actually paid attention in class and started using the shorthand you showed me, and let me tell you, it’s definitely helped me out a lot the past week. The professor was talking so fast,” you started to ramble, just glad to see his face again. It felt like ages since you got to talk to him and having contact with him made you drop your guard in a heartbeat. “Did you want me to copy them for you? I can also help you with homework. I promise I haven’t slept through any of my classes lately.”

“It’s fine,” his reply came out strained and rather curt. “I already have notes, Levi dropped them off for me earlier.”

That was a lie, and both of you knew it. You knew better than to push your luck with him. Satan had a propensity to lash out, but something told you to persist. Jamming your foot into the door as he tried to close it, you ignored the pain and pushed through to gain access to his room. “I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s going on. This isn’t like you.” You stepped past the threshold of his room and looked around.

The piles of books he surrounded himself with didn’t seem to be in terrible disarray. It was the first time you had actually stepped foot in his private quarters, and you took a moment to look around. While you were distracted, Satan took the time to close the door and turn the lock to it. Now that you were in his space, the aura he had tried to suppress came out in full force. He stalked around you like a cat waiting to pounce. His eyes trained on your body as he circled around you, his footsteps light and quiet.

It didn’t take much for you to notice the slight change in his demeanor. One moment he was looking absolutely sickly and unwell, the next moment he was pacing around you. The way he watched your every move was unsettling, and you tried to offset the unease you felt by placing your arms over your chest. Huffing in annoyance that he was still being rather cryptic, you started to demand the answers no one was bothering to tell you. “So, are you going to tell me, or are you just going to walk around looking at me?”

“I’m not… well,” he said, the last vestiges slipping from his control now that you were so close to him. He didn’t want to break the tentative trust the two of you had built over the last few weeks. He wanted to think he was better than what his hormones were telling him to do with you; but since the opportunity presented itself so neatly to him, it was hard to pass up. While you tapped your foot impatiently for an answer, he let go of the last bit of control he had on his hormones; and an odd calm washed over him. A haze settled over his mind as he let himself be carried away by instinct. He would find time to apologize to you later, after he won.

“You don’t look that bad. Maybe a little sleep deprived...” You reached up to touch his forehead, checking for his temperature. He didn’t seem particularly warm, but you didn’t really have a very good frame of reference for what normal demon body temperature should be like. It wasn’t until you got a closer look at his complexion that you noticed how dark his eyes had become and how flushed his cheeks were. “Okay, maybe I take that back...”

You pulled your hand back just a second too late. He reached out and held onto your wrist firmly, the barest trace of a smirk played at the corner of his lips. He understood that you were saying things to him, the words were supposed to make sense; but in his addled state, it was hard for him to care about anything other than the hunger roiling within him. With just your slightest touch, you destroyed the little bit of control he worked so hard to maintain around you.

It didn’t matter anymore. You had squandered your last chance to leave when you touched him. He had you cornered in his own territory. The hunt was over, and he could finally play this damned game on his own terms. He had been so patient, biding his time and waiting for the right moment. His rut came upon him just as he was about to make his move, and he was sure he had missed his chance with you. However, you had chosen to walk into his room even knowing he wasn’t well. You had chosen to seek him out, almost as if you knew what he was going through. Maybe it’s fate…

With a strength he rarely showed, he pulled you to the bed tucked in the corner of his room and nearly threw you onto it. He exuded an aura that shot down any protests you might have had about his rough treatment of you.

He moved according to instinct, wedging his knee between your legs and pushing you down onto the soft covers of his bed. “I think you can understand how I’m not well. After all, from what I remember you saying, you passed that biology test with flying colors.”

“I…yes...” It was only a matter of time before you bedded him. It was the most fortunate of circumstances that it happened during a time when he was holing himself away due to a rut. You couldn’t have planned it any better. The rules had never been said out loud, but Asmodeus’ words held so much more weight and meaning to them than you could ever imagine. “Maybe I do know what I’m getting into.”

“Good girl. Then I won’t have to explain myself,” he purred, nuzzling your neck and ran his lips across your skin. His voice was pitched in a way that made you shiver. There was much more passion in the simple gesture than anything else he had ever shown you publicly. Your unique scent seemed to fill his whole head and made him dizzy. He pulled you closer with one arm around your waist and he took a deep breath to memorize just how you smelled right before he took you. The intimacy was strange, but not unwelcome. You wondered if he would be anything like this if his mind wasn’t so influenced by his hormones. His fingers found your chin, tilting it up to meet him eye to eye. “I’m sorry.”

Satan didn’t give you time to think about the oddly gentle apology before his lips found your own in a heated kiss. He claimed your mouth greedily, running his tongue across your lips just once as a forewarning before it delved into your mouth, tracing your teeth and swallowing your moans. One hand on your chin kept your head tilted just the way he wanted, his other hand laced itself into your hair and held you steady as he claimed you like he had already won.

He didn’t want his first time with you to be like this. It was supposed to be sweet, romantic and soft; not what a demon in heat was going to be like. Perhaps knowing that he wasn’t the first to get to you was what drove him to want to possess you even more. If anything, he at least knew that the state he was in granted him the best chance of victory over all his brothers. Perhaps they would call it cheating; but he considered it good luck with a hint of strategy that got him to where he was.

He pinned your arms above your head with one hand, keeping you firmly in place while his other hand swiftly slid under your skirt. Curling a finger, he pressed it against your heat. Even though the two of you had only kissed, he was pleasantly surprised to feel quite a bit of dampness between your legs through the fabric. It felt like after a couple of run-ins with his other brothers, your body seemed to be primed for the taking at any moment. His luck didn’t seem to be running out anytime soon.

Your gasp brought him out of the haze of lust for a brief moment only to have him redouble his efforts into making you squirm for him. He had the darkest, most wild look in his eyes as he watched your every movement. It pleased a deep part of him that out of all his brothers, he was the one who was able to get you to squirm and whimper like this. It wasn’t hard to hear how the others made you feel; they didn’t make much of an effort to hide what they were doing to you. It was a bit shameful for him to admit to himself just how he had memorized your breathy sighs late into the night.

What wasn’t shameful was just how different it sounded when you were so close to him, and there weren’t any walls to muffle the pretty noises you could make when you were given pleasure. His knuckle pressed against your heat a little harder; and out of instinct, your legs spread wide, giving him access to your body. He played you like he had studied you for decades. As if he knew which part of your body would make you sing the loudest for him.

Satan’s lips peppered kisses all over your heated skin as he worked you up to the peak of your arousal. He buried his head at the crook of your neck, taking time to lick and suck the sensitive skin there. He nipped you with his teeth in between his kisses. Nothing hard enough to break skin, yet enough to leave dark marks proving to anyone who saw where he had been.

Your fingers tingled from being pinned down so firmly, but all that felt negligible compared to how he was making you feel with just his lips and his finger against your clothed heat. You rolled your hips to meet his knuckle, encouraging him to keep going. “Ah…Satan...” you breathed, your eyelids fluttering when he pressed just right against your clit.

Outwardly, he didn’t show it; but his heart sang when he heard you call his name that way. There was nothing quite like the elation he felt when he realized just how much power he had over you. The instincts that guided him only egged him to go further to get even more sounds from you. His need to breed and fill you with his seed only grew the warmer you body became thanks to his ministrations. He didn’t care if you wouldn’t last much longer. No, now that you were in his territory, he owned you; and he had so many more plans to exact after one climax.

“Don’t you dare think about moving your hands from where they are,” he growled, loosening his grip on your hands momentarily. You flexed your fingers just to get circulation back into them, other than that, you complied to his demands without question. His hand now free to roam your body made quick work of your uniform. He had the decency to at least make an attempt to not rip apart everything, though in his haste, you swore you heard a seam tear at some point.

You laid bare, save for your panties, under him; and it was a sight he was going to remember for the rest of his life. There was an innate fear in your expression that made you irresistible to him. In one swift motion, he divested you from the last piece of clothing you had on. There was no denying just how aroused you were with the bit of resistance your underwear gave him as he pulled it away from you. He could clearly smell how excited you were from just the little bit of teasing you had done.

Swooping in to give you a torrid kiss, it was too easy for him to slide two fingers into your wet heat. Your moans were muffled by his lips as he worked his digits in and out of you. The pace was just enough to have you seeing stars and gasping for air anytime his lips left yours for a brief moment. In a moment when you had your eyes closed, when he curled his fingers just right inside of you, you heard an unfamiliar rustling sound. When you cracked open your eyes again, you saw grand, curling horns framing his face.

After his transformation, the pace changed once again. There was almost a malicious glint in his eyes as he watched your expression change the closer you got to your climax. He had dreamed of this moment so many times before. To see it happen in front of him was a wondrous sort of magic, a magic he had complete control over. “Remember to say my name when you cum,” he growled before using his thumb to rub your clit alongside what his fingers were doing to you.

You choked back a sob as your body shuddered in the wake of your orgasm. His name did leave your lips at that moment as he demanded. You were also sure anyone else in the building could also hear you as you called out for him while your inner walls clenched around his fingers, soaking the digits in your essence.

He pulled his fingers out of you and looked at just how coated they were with your juices. While you recovered from your climax, Satan took a moment to lick his fingers clean, his long tongue lapped up the slick mess on his fingers as he hummed in approval at your unique flavor. It would make claiming you much more special now that he knew how you tasted as well.

You only had the time it took for him to remove his clothes to recover from your orgasm before he took control once again. “Hands and knees,” he demanded and you scrambled onto your quaking limbs to comply with his needs.

You could see your faint reflection in the window in front of you.The outline of your body and his prepared you for what was to come next. You felt the bed dip with his added weight as he lined himself up behind you. There was no additional preamble before he sank his length into you and started a brutal pace that had you clutching onto the sheets below to prevent you from moving too much. Having already cum once, sliding into you was too easy; and with how tightly your walls were around him, it only made the first pass feel that much more rewarding. Even if you never got a chance to properly see the unique shape of his cock before he buried himself into you, you definitely felt every particular ridge and divot he had.

He lost himself the moment he entered you. Gone was any notion of soft loving and romance. All he had within him was the innate need to breed, to see you filled to the brim with his seed. The only thing that mattered was the feeling of finally fucking you and how he was going to continue to fuck you until both of you passed out from exhaustion.

“You have… No idea how long I’ve waited for this moment.” His nails dug into the flesh of your hips, helping you stay right where he wanted you. He couldn’t care less about being too rough with you, not when your moans were encouraging him. He could see your face scrunched up in pleasure whenever he glanced up at the faint reflection on the window. The scratches he left on your skin welted up so beautifully, it only drove him to dig his nails deeper into you until you bled. His need to mark you overpowered any common sense he had.

The pain and the pleasure you felt mixed into something so much more than you had ever experienced. He had given you no time to adjust to his girth and length before he started fucking you in earnest. Even if you didn’t get a chance to see it, you could feel the tip of a hard, bulbous knot press against your entrance with each hard thrust. You clung to the sheets underneath you for dear life, riding out the brutal pace. He didn’t moan as much as he growled whenever your walls clung to the ridges of his cock just right. Satan leaned over, biting your shoulder hard enough to where his canines broke skin. Seeing your blood well up in contrast to your complexion only had him craving for you even more. He licked at the wound he created while he continued to rail into you, your cries sending him into bliss.

He could tell you were close to another climax; and just when you thought you would crest over, he stopped his pace abruptly, pulling out of you without warning just to flip you over and reenter you. Satan grabbed onto your leg, propping it against his shoulder before he resumed fucking your abused hole. With the new angle he was granted, he took more measured strokes, letting you fully experience everything his cock had to offer you. Sweat beaded on his forehead from the exertion, but the high he was getting from ramming his length into you over and over was worth the exhaustion he would feel later once the brunt of his needs were sated.

He could feel you ramping up for yet another orgasm. It would be the last push he needed to fully embed himself inside of you. His thrusts slowed, if only to press his knot against your entrance, letting you feel the sting and burn of being stretched out to accommodate the last few inches of his length. You whined, feeling both the need to accept him but also a bit of fear, wondering if that was even a possibility.

He seemed to notice your trepidation and leaned in for a surprisingly soft kiss considering how roughly he had treated you thus far. “Soon,” he said, his voice hoarse and gravely. He pressed his hips forward again, and you forgot to breathe as you were pushed to your limits. Satan pulled back only to repeat the motion once more. “Soon...” he growled again, his cock twitched in anticipation, knowing what was to come.

Subconsciously, his tail wrapped around your leg, tightly squeezing it as if to reassure you it would all be alright. He showered your neck and collarbone with kisses before reaching in between your bodies and rubbing your clit. “I know you’re close. Cum for me, and accept all of me...”

The combination of his low voice so close to your ear and the stimulation of his fingers gave you all you needed to once again reach your climax. Your walls pulsed around him, pulling him further into you; and it gave him just the little extra push he needed to fully seat himself within you with a satisfying “pop” sensation. His breathing wavered as he relished in the feeling of being buried within you so intimately. Looking down, he could see your entrance throbbing around his length, the sight of being joined with you in such a way had his heart soaring. All the time he spent with you, keeping you at arms length for this moment was so worth it.

You on the other hand needed to contend with both the feeling of your orgasm as well as being filled far beyond anything you had ever experienced before. His knot kept him lodged within you for as long as it took for him to be properly satiated. He waited, feeling your walls clench tightly around him before feebly caressing his hard length once the most intense part of your orgasm passed.

“Good girl,” he purred. His expression was surprisingly soft and loving as he brushed your hair out of your face. Now came the part that he had been looking forward to the most, the part that his body had been craving ever since you willingly walked into his territory. He rocked his pelvis slowly, causing you to gasp and accommodate him. He didn’t have the freedom of movement to thrust into you as he did before, but the subtle jerking motion of his hips rocking against you gave you enough stimulation to have you seeing stars and gasping for air.

“Satan...” you whimpered, your eyelids fluttering as you struggled to get a hold of yourself above everything you were feeling.

The sound of your voice calling out for him only made him rock more insistently into you, pressing further and further, deeper until the tip of his cock pushed against your cervix. The fullness, the pain, the pleasure, it was all beyond anything you could ever imagine; and just when you thought you couldn’t take anymore, you felt him release inside of you, a guttural moan coming from his lips as he finally climaxed.

He buried his head at the crook of your neck, desperately sucking and nipping at your skin. The warmth of his seed filled your hot caverns and spilled out, coating your thighs and the sheets below you despite his knot still being crammed tightly into your entrance. The amount of cum he pumped into you felt unfathomable as he seemed to climax for an eternity, his body trembling above your own in the aftermath of such an intense release. “Good girl...” he purred again, kissing the dark marks he had left on your skin.

The haze of need dissipated from his eyes now that he finally let go of his pent up desires. When his heartbeat finally settled a bit, he coaxed you to lay on your side facing him while he was still connected to you. He sighed in content, brushing your hair from your face. His legs tangled up with yours while his tail lazily swished from side to side, grazing your calf lovingly from time to time.

As you basked in the afterglow, you finally had a chance to admire him in his true form. Your fingers idly played with his hair and traced the curves of his horns. He sighed softly, eyelids fluttering in the softness that came after such a rough session. It wasn’t what he expected out of you visiting him, but he was glad for the outcome.

“Well, you look like you’re much better now.”

“Maybe a little. But I think a few more rounds will be needed to really get me on the road to recovery.”

You paused everything you were doing, feeling your body react to the possibility of even more sex with him. Blinking you gave him a shaky laugh. “You’re kidding right? I’m already half dead after one round.”

“Well, I hope you’re ready to accept the consequences of seeing me when I’m unwell like this,” he purred, flexing his hips to remind you that he was very much still inside of you, “but for now, rest.” He pulled you close, kissing you on the forehead and pulling the sheets over the two of you. “I hope you don’t have anything else planned for the rest of the day.”

You giggled, snuggling up against his chest, settling for much needed comfort and a nap. “Well, taking care of an unwell friend is more important than anything else I had scheduled.”

“Hmm, Good answer.”

#Obey me! Fanfiction #Obey me! smut #Obey me Satan #Shall we date obey me Satan #shall we date satan #My writing #Commission Work #i'm trash you're trash we're all trash

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rigelmejo · 4 years ago

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march - just some thoughts

i have read more this month than any other month? and its not slowing down its only 3/12 so i have 2/3 of a month to go and i’ve read 26 chapters. even if these chapters are ‘short’ at 10 pages, if i wanna count by ‘20 page’ chunks i’ve still read 13 chunks so far. and i’ve still got more time in the month left. most other months i’ve managed to read ‘a lot’ i read 10-20 chapters. so i’m doing really good.

grammar is a weird thing? in reading i feel like its quite easy now to understand. when listening or watching - same. and yet if asked ‘why do i say/type X’ or ‘why is it written/spoken like X’ i have absolutely no explanation in my head. i could not explain the grammar if prompted. this puts me in a weird place and i feel like i SHOULD go over a grammar guide again just so i can WORD what i’m intuitively understanding.

this is a bit bizarre to me because within the first 6 months of study i DID read through an entire grammar guide just to get an idea of what i was about to look at, and it hardly made sense once actually reading/watching/listening. i understood the guide fine, but actually Seeing chinese i was still confused. i would reference AllSetLearning’s Chinese Wiki on some basic points, then after 6 months i just stopped. now its been what 1.5 years and - reading is so easy, listening is so easy, grammar wise. none of the grammar confuses me. but i no longer ‘explicitly’ have any idea what the fuck the grammar is. i used to. i studied it explicitly before trying to read/listen. and yet now that i can read/listen, i have no idea how to explain the grammar. i can listen to a podcast and i don’t think about what the grammar is i just get it. i read and just know what i’m looking at. its like english - i cannot fucking explain it. Which makes speaking/writing a bit hard. Because when i try to check if i’m right i have no fucking clue HOW anymore - i just say/write what comes to mind and HOPE it makes sense. i have no way to conciously check for errors except ‘does this feel right’? And that’s not good enough for me lol. So I definitely do need to eventually read a grammar guide for explicit explanations again.

Technically I think “English and Chinese Grammar Side By Side” grammar book would be an excellent one to use. Because i read the first 50 pages of it and it compared it to english (so it explained english too), and it was very easy to understand and started basic then got more involved.

I’m probably gonna use my very old Chinese Grammar Self Taught by Thimm book instead. Just because I really like that book. Then I guess use another after (probably Basic Chinese Sentence Patterns since its modern and perfect for ‘catch your own mistakes’ study and much shorter than Eng+Chinese Grammar side by side).

Anyway I’m in a very weird place right now lol. I know i’m understanding grammar that is stuff I never even studied initially in the grammar guide, but unable to explain what it is, and a lot of stuff i did explicitly study in a grammar guide i completely forgot the explanation for. My reading and listening is GREAT, because all my effort only has to go into learning new words lately! its relaxing! Its the only part i need to do! But my writing/speaking i am very concerned about because being able to check myself for mistakes is something i’d like the ability to do.

how grammar is presented really makes a difference in how well i get it. there is some serious benefit to ‘show simple first then build up what you know’ that text books tend to prefer. versus like grammar reference books that may start with some in depth stuff.

i tried to read a japanese grammar guide the other day and 1 it was great but 2 it covered some ADVANCED stuff i never learned in genki 1+2, and so it was Explicit grammar description of stuff i had literally years ago been immersing in japanese and Still not conciously known about. So i felt. Overwhelmed lol. I felt so confused. I feel like I might switch to Tae Kim’s grammar guide primarily just because its structured with basics covered first. and i feel like until the basics are again glued into my brain, seeing even more advanced stuff just confused me so much i had no idea how to remember it. which is funny because? my usual strategy with grammar guides is to just read it and let what sticks stick and what is confusing be moved on from, in the hope i will later see it again and understand it better. so like based on what i usually do i should’ve just been able to read through it (and i’m gonna try anyway lol). but truly japanese grammar just... my mind does not like wrapping around it and remembering it. (chinese grammar is so much easier for me... so much easier....;-; )

i have been tempted to just Restart Nukemarine’s LLJ (Lets Learn Japanese) memrise decks, because I KNOW they worked for me last time really really well. And they include Tae Kim grammar lessons. And I know if i did it then maybe i’d get back to where i was years ago pretty fast.

I tried Earthlingo app. Its a cool idea, I don’t think its worth it though unless you planned to get Rosetta Stone (since Earthlingo is FREE). Earthlingo features 1000 words per language, taught to you by exploring video game worlds as an alien. Its a cool concept, but since all words seem to be nouns then you aren’t even learning the most common verbs/adjectives. And 1000 words is not a lot. And you could learn 1000 quite fast if using srs flashcards like Memrise or Anki (think weeks if you push yourself, and a month or two months if going at a regular pace). Earthlingo you have to slowly explore the worlds so that eats time, you have to choose to test yourself (so you don’t review nearly as often as flashcard apps), and one test includes walking around the world clicking the object which you’re given the word for (takes time to find the right object). All this means a word that might take maybe 15 minutes to study over a few weeks, might instead take much longer to study and learn. I don’t use duolingo because it generally covers so few words (usually 2000-4000 i think which is good for a beginner resource but you have to do the WHOLE course to get to all those words and i take so long on duolingo that could take YEARS for me versus a month on a flashcard app or clozemaster). Duolingo I also don’t use because it very slowly paces learning material (it takes me months/years to get through 1000 words on duolingo - just personally i go so slow on it, i think faster people would find a use for it). Likewise Lingodeer takes me AGES to get through (and i think covers 2000 words nowadays? I’m shocked Duolingo has more words for the japanese course tbh). However, Lingodeer is by far the best ‘app’ for Japanese grammar lessons in app practice form. Even if basically all the apps feel pretty slow to me in how fast they give you new info. Earthlingo is cool that its free, and for learners 12 and under i think it would be super useful as a way to engage them and keep them studying (since what child likes flashcards? whereas as a child i would’ve loved this). But as an adult Earthlingo is sooooo slow on how fast you can learn words, and it does not even offer very many words (1000 is a nice bare minimum but without verbs/adjectives it can only be a supplementary learning tool for beginners at best).

Link about Lingodeer having 2000 words in a course. (Since its SO hard to lookup how much vocabulary lingodeer includes :c )

Nukemarine’s LLJ memrise decks (which I’m considering going through again but ToT agh flashcardssssss.... they sure do work though agh)

http://www.chinese-grammar.com/beginner/ - this is the site I read a chinese grammar guide on at like Month 3. I am rereading it now maybe it will help me remember wtf grammar explicitly is. ToT (A tip, read Beginner, Intermediate, Advanced sections). Last time I visited the site you just clicked a section, then saw each fully explained grammar point and clicked ‘next’ it was nice. Now its laid out a little less ideal for me, but its still got all the same nice info! (Also honestly if you are a beginner I really DO like this grammar guide... it introduces basic info first, gradually gets more complex, and i could follow its logic knowing like 200 hanzi and 100 words ToT. its very easy to understand even if it takes a while to apply that info).

im probably gonna read hanshe more today. i’m at the point where either i know enough vocab, or the writers style has just ‘clicked’ idk. but now i just am not getting bogged down by unknown words and am just. speeding through enjoying the plot. Also rip me this novel has 155 chapters and im only on chapter 30.

watching japanese lets plays is really fun! i feel like im 3 years old cause i just see nouns i can learn pretty easy in context cause i know the game well, and hear some vaguely familiar verbs, but its fun! also it helps i know kingdom hearts 2 like by heart so. a lot of it makes me instantly cheerful and nostalgic. roxas’s voice is so cute in the japanese version.

oh i almost forgot: I found a book recently for chinese that for it’s like 10 page grammar guide summary at the beginning ALONE i think is more than worth the 4 dollars it costs to get. It has a ton of compound words and its a reference book in mandarin and cantonese (it has pronunciation for both, all characters are in traditional). I got it initally because it as a bunch of compound words and I’d like to get better at knowing a lot of common ones. But the intro to the book has a page explaining sentence structures in chinese, then examples. Its so straightforward and to the point. I love it. The book is “Understanding Chinese: A Guide to the Usage of Chinese Characters” by Rita Mei-Wah Choy. (There is also a companion book for individual hanzi, which is nice but this book specifically I’m finding more useful).

what i really like about Listening-Reading method, and reading, as study activities: no matter how I do them it is only improvement. I have a tendency to ‘redo’ material i don’t feel i fully mastered, or refuse to move on. So when i have duolingo, flashcards (sometimes i can move on if i ignore reviews/make myself do new stuff), books, grammar guides, self guided classes - i have a tendency to redo the material. over and over. and not progress and challenge myself. whereas with reading - every time i look up a word its useful because its new or something i clearly Need to review (not something i’ve actually learned and can move past reviewing). so whether i reread material or read new stuff, as long as i run into things i find somewhat challenging (feel the desire to word look up), i know i am running into new material i can learn. Same with listening-reading method: whether i finish a book or just skip to random books, any new chapter i do will give me new words to learn/remember (until i’ve reached a point of perfect listening comprehension which is a WAYS away). There’s no way for me to mess it up. I can give up a book im bored with, i don’t have to stick to one resource to the end.

someone tell me why professionally made chinese audio books almost NEVER line up to the chapters???? whyyyyy ;-;

Even More Notes lol:

So I read so much in Pleco, which auto pronounces, I have COMPLETELY forgot. 得地 - for these two, when they’re attached after a description like 淡淡慢慢高兴 etc, when are they pronounced di versus de???? i’m pretty sure 得 is pronounced de when its an adjective like ‘-ly’. but for 地, i don’t remember if when part of a describer if its pronounced di or de????

#rant #march progress #march #everyone using ore in kh2 is hilarious a lil to me tho #u are all bishies u are all tiny kids WHy u acting so tough lol

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curewhimsy · 4 years ago

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Plans for “Sparkling Water!”

“Free! Iwatobi Swim Club But With College-Age WLW, Starring My OC Rhona Aequor.”

———

(The pools all across the area are initially closed because of a breakout of mysterious water-born bacteria in the area.) ———

The still water surrounds and envelopes my body... My heartbeat, in sync with the ripples... Secluded, within the vast blue yonder... I am once more in a sober repose, my quiet home beneath the waves... Rhona Aequor opened her eyes. She looked up from her notebook with a sigh that echoed off the walls. Immediately, she was plucked right out of her aquatic wonderland, and was now back in her cramped college dorm bathroom, in the tub, on a sweltering day in June. The nostalgic, summery sound of cicadas chirping from outside the window filled her ears... It was so utterly annoying. So far, her summer writing project was half-way done. All Rhona’s poems, however, were about the same thing. Something she yearned for, that she just couldn’t get off her mind lately... Water. Sitting in the narrow, shallow bathtub with her swimsuit on to remedy the fact that all the local pools were closed, Rhona wanted nothing more than to dive into a big pool and swim to her heart’s content, drowning all her troubles away in cold and slightly stale chlorine water... Rhona put her notebook aside, filled the bathtub with even more cool water—as high as it could go without spilling over the edges, and submerged herself in. It just wasn’t the same. Rhona brought her face out of the water to find her current roommate and friend since high school, Isabel, greeting her. She had a dark complexion, yet slightly lighter than Rhona’s, dark wavy hair, and a round face. She preferred to be called Isa. “Rhona, how long are you going to sulk in the bathtub?” Isabel said. “We only have one bathroom, you know!” Rhona didn’t answer. She was close enough with Isa to know that she knew what she was thinking. “You’re pretty funny, you know, Rhona?” Isa began to laugh. “You’re like a mermaid or something.” Rhona briskly shook her head, drops of cool water flinging off her short hair and onto her face and every surface. It was a sensation she loved. Beads of water splashed on Isa in the process. “Hey!” Isa said, her shirt now damp. “Well, how about this, Rhona? If you want water that badly, there’s supposedly a secret indoor diving well somewhere in the abandoned part of campus.” Rhona’s intense blue eyes grew double their size at Isabel’s words. “Rumor has it that it’s twenty feet deep, and very broad, for both diving and swimming laps. It would be perfect for you, Rhona, since you love to dive under!” Isa looked at Rhona, whose aqua eyes were now sparkling. She could tell how excited Rhona was about the vast 20-foot-deep secret pool. It amused her to see. “But there’s just one thing...” Isabel continued. “It’s said the diving well was closed down because it contains a curse!” Rhona cupped her hands in eagerness. “What sort of curse do you mean?” Rhona asked. “I don’t really know, but it sounds exciting, doesn’t it?” Isa exclaimed. “How about you get out of the tub and we’ll go and look for it together!” Rhona normally refused to follow along with Isabel’s outlandish and eccentric ideas of having fun. The ideas would range having a ketchup packet fight in McDonald’s at midnight while dressed in panda onesies and filming it, to simply buying twenty boxes of macaroni and cheese and leaving them in random places around campus (like in urinals.) But this was an idea that Rhona agreed with. A mysterious abandoned pool? To Rhona Aequor, a pool was a pool. And if it was a pool, she had to be in it. ——— (They meet Luana there alone, who claims the pool is her secret hangout...) (Luana challenges Rhona to a 10-lap swimming race using only freestyle... and whoever wins can swim there. Things get oddly intense.) (Luana had always thought she was the top swimmer on campus... until she witnesses Rhona, the mysterious low-profile expert of all things relating to water.) (Luana is impressed at Rhona’s swimming skill, her speed, and graceful form as she glides ahead of her. Luana gets flustered, but has to hide it to maintain her tough persona. Luana starts getting oddly competitive and showing off the power of her strokes.) (Rhona defeats Luana by several seconds. Isabel, who was watching, says Luana’s speed was impressive as well, but her form was suffering a bit. She may have been faster if it were more like Rhona’s.) (Luana officially declares Rhona as a rival... says some vague threatening cartoon-villain-like things and heads off, vowing to one day get revenge. Isabel comments on it as strange. Rhona says that Isabel shouldn’t be talking, considering how weird she can be herself.) (Meanwhile, Luana’s older sister Oliana finds out that Luana impulsively lost the secret hideout to some random girl named Rhona who allegedly “swam with the grace and power of an orca.” Oliana is in disbelief, she always thought her sister Luana was a fierce shark in the water, with the speed of a torpedo.) (Drama unfolds... slowly but surely.) (Chapter 2) (Rhona is working part-time as a lifeguard and saves a timid girl named Nagisa from drowning in an unexpectedly intense wave pool. Nagisa was accidentally by herself at the deep end.) (Nagisa Onda has always loved the ocean, but is scared of being in deep water. She is nervous, but signs and shows up for the club on a whim because she felt emotional that Rhona saved her and was inspired from watching Rhona’s graceful swimming form afterwards. She wants to learn to swim because it looks so liberating, like flying, and because she feels it could make her brave for once.) (Eventual chapters) (Rhona sets up the Swim Club, but the pool ground needs serious cleaning, and water from a different source, so that it won’t contain the bacteria. Rhona and her friends put in the work. Nagisa does her best to help and works really hard to clean the pool and bring clean water as well.) (Once Nagisa realizes how tough it is to start swimming lessons from nothing, she gets discouraged. But Rhona patiently offers to teach Nagisa how to swim and encourages her to do her best. This touches Nagisa deeply. Over time, she becomes a strong swimmer.) (Umiko joins the swim club to attempt to teach the members the “arcane profundity” of “artistic swimming.” Umiko is an artist who loves the aesthetic appearance of water, and swimming as an art form... but not as a competitive sport. She feels that speed-swimming competitively isn’t how swimming is meant to be, despite being a skilled swimmer herself. She is also a prolific high-diver. Umiko is pretentious and a bit snobby. She has a badly-hidden crush on Luana the slob, who also annoys her. They argue very often.) (Soon, Marina joins. Marina is a nerdy girl obsessed with sports-themed manga and light novels. She is a novelist who is deeply inspired by the fighting spirit, determination, and teamwork and friendship in many sports-themed works. She watches the Swim Club from afar and has a secret yet passionate crush on Rhona. However, Marina cannot swim at all, and is afraid of water. She is also ironically terrified of playing sports. One day, Marina slips an anonymous letter of admiration in Rhona’s locker... and gets caught by Luana! At this point, Luana isn’t a part of the swim club yet, but she encourages Marina to join... by threatening to tell Rhona about the letter if she doesn’t join! Just what are Luana’s intentions? Marina shows up to the next meeting and embarrasses herself... but surprisingly, everyone is very patient with her. She even starts crying out of happiness because of how for the first time, she’s actually feeling the emotions she’s only read and written about for so long. She decides to become a permanent member of the Swim Club, as she feels she’d be able to write a much better sports novel with first-hand experience.) ——— (Nagisa’s backstory with Amara unfolds. Nagisa and Amara were best friends growing up in Chile. Nagisa’s family eventually moved to the United States when Nagisa was 10 years old.) (Nagisa and Amara kept in touch. One day, Amara called Nagisa, telling she is going on a cruise. A few days later, there is news about a cruise ship wreck in the South Pacific with many casualties. After this period, the calls and texts from Amara stop coming. Every time Nagisa calls or texts Amara’s cell phone, she doesn’t answer. Nagisa and her family sadly conclude that Amara’s and her family must’ve died tragically in the wreck.) (However, the reason Amara and Nagisa lost touch is because Amara had lost many belongings in the shipwreck, including her cell phone. Amara and her family eventually move to Spain. She eventually receives a new cell phone with a new number, and knows Nagisa’s number by heart. She texts Nagisa to get back in touch with her. However, Nagisa got her own number changed as well recently. They could no longer call or message each other.) (Nagisa still believes Amara is dead, and that she succumbed to the depths of the sea. Ever since then, she has had a fear of water and the ocean.) ——— (Eventually, Rhona uses her skills in marine biology to identify the bacteria in the water, and the Swim Club to help clean pools and install filters using a solution Rhona made to kill the germs in the town’s pool water reserves. The other members of the swim club help her as well. They end up saving all the pools just in time for National Water Park day! All the kids are happy, thanks to Rhona and her friends’ love and perseverance. Even in a mundane way, Rhona and her friends helped save summer for everyone!) ———CHARACTERS——— The Swim Club- Rhona Aequor- Stoic and determined leader of the Swim Club. Though strong and mysterious, she has a kind and caring heart. She is very supportive of Nagisa, the newest member of the club who just learned how to swim, and encourages her to try her best. Aims to be an Olympic swimmer in a few years. Rhona also loves the ocean, is passionate and knowledgeable about it, and aspires to be a marine biologist and diver as well. Often scuba dives and snorkels. The ocean is her playground. Rhona however isn’t good at expressing her emotions, and can be very awkward. She becomes an Olympic swimmer in the future. The third or fourth-tallest girl in the club, tied with Oliana. Black/African-American. Signature stroke: Freestyle. Theme animals: Whale Shark, Surgeonfish Nagisa Onda- Can’t swim at first, shy and has low-self-esteem. Naive and sheepish. Meets Rhona and the others in college. Nagisa has always loved the ocean, but is scared of being in deep water. She signs up for the club on a whim because she was inspired by watching Rhona’s graceful swimming form as she saved Nagisa from drowning one day at a wave pool. Nagisa feels so inspired to be a swimmer. Once she realizes how tough it is to start from nothing, she gets discouraged. But Rhona patiently offers to teach Nagisa how to swim and encourages her to do her best. This touches Nagisa deeply. Over time, she becomes a strong swimmer. The second-shortest girl in the club. Japanese-Chilean. Signature stroke: Breaststroke. Theme animals: Spotted Seal, Spotted Jellyfish Isabel- Rhona’s childhood friend since high school. Isabel is energetic and bubbly. She is a track and field star who recently took up swimming because she wanted to be a triathlete, which requires a swimming skill. Isabel is often laid-back, though becomes passionate when it comes to her dream... and food. Becomes an Olympic triathlete in the future, but doesn’t do very well... Mexican (Latina.) Signature stroke: Backstroke. Theme animals: Dall’s Porpoise, Nudibranch Umiko Shinju- Loves painting, playing violin, and making art pieces inspired by the ocean. Can swim, but not too fond of it. Was coaxed into joining the club by Luana, her new friend in college. Kind of pretentious and dramatic. A nervous wreck who often makes herself look silly. Underneath her flaws is a very pure heart. Meets the others in college. She learns to love swimming with the others. Japanese. Signature stroke: Butterfly stroke. Theme animals: Bottlenose Dolphin, Sea butterfly Luana Kai- Wild and spontaneous. Very competitive. A very strong swimmer. She prides herself in being “the best” at freestyle swimming. When she sees Rhona, whose freestyle swimming technique rivals hers, she becomes aggressive and determined to out-swim Rhona. She claims Rhona is her rival and they often bicker. However they are very good friends deep down. Likes to talk like a pirate. Becomes an Olympic swimmer in the future. Tongan (Pacific Islander.) Signature stroke: Freestyle. Theme animals: Great White Shark, Parrotfish Oliana Kai- Joins the swim club a bit late, despite being an older student. Becomes an Olympic swimmer in the future, but doesn’t do very well... She also gets an injury early in her career. Luana’s older sister. The third or fourth-tallest girl in the club, tied with Rhona. Tongan (Pacific Islander.) Signature stroke: Backstroke. Theme animals: Orca Whale, Striped beakfish Marina- A nerdy, awkward girl obsessed with sports-themed manga and light novels. She is a novelist who is deeply inspired by the fighting spirit, determination, and teamwork and friendship in many sports-themed works. She watches the Swim Club from afar and has a secret yet passionate crush on Rhona. However, Marina cannot swim at all, and is afraid of water. She is also ironically terrified of playing sports. One day, Marina slips an anonymous letter of admiration in Rhona’s locker... and gets caught by Luana! At this point, Luana isn’t a part of the swim club yet, but she encourages Marina to join... by threatening to tell Rhona about the letter if she doesn’t join! Just what are Luana’s intentions? Marina shows up to the next meeting and embarrasses herself... but surprisingly, everyone is very patient with her. She even starts crying out of happiness because of how for the first time, she’s actually feeling the emotions she’s only read and written about for so long. She decides to become a permanent member of the Swim Club, as she feels she’d be able to write a much better sports novel with first-hand experience. The second-tallest girl in the club. Mixed, Black/African-American and Caucasian. Signature stroke: Butterfly stroke. Theme animals: Humpback whale, Coraline- The shortest girl in the club. English and French (Caucasian.) Signature stroke: Breaststroke. Theme animals: Sea lion, Clownfish Tanya- The biggest and tallest girl in the club. Northern European (Caucasian.) Signature stroke: Freestyle. Theme animals: Blue whale, Azura- Becomes an olympic swimmer in the future. Indian (Bengali.) Signature stroke: Butterfly stroke. Theme animals: Blue shark, Moon jellyfish Other characters- Amara Mendez- Nagisa’s long-lost friend. They reunite one day... ()- Amara’s friend. Sapphire- Established young olympic swimmer. Rhona’s idol. Emerald- Budding young olympic swimmer. Azura looks up to her. Carmine- Budding young olympic swimmer who Luana and Oliana look up to. Claudia- Swim Club coach. ()- Swim Club coach. ()- Swim Club coach. ()- Swim Club advisor. ()- Swim Club advisor. ———

Isabel: When you hit the water, what stroke do you start doing on instinct? Rhona: Freestyle. Coraline: Doggy paddle. Marina: A hemorrhagic stroke.

#sparkling water!#whimsica #rhona aequor #sea star #nagisa onda #luana kai #free!#sparkling water #swimming anime #my writing #life of pastell

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theastrophilearchitect · 4 years ago

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Reworking the plot & getting my hands dirty.

Writing journey #2.

Sat 06/03/2021 - Word Count: 28,150 19.38 So, a month ago, today, actually, I started writing a book. For context, I've sorted out scenes and planned my plot; I'm now simultaneously writing my first draft and outlining scenes in more detail - I'm just into act two of my draft and just into act three of the outline.

I included today in my first writing post, which you can find here, but, while outlining, I realised something that will result in a major plot change (even though I probably should wait until revisions, it sorts out the climax I'm currently incredibly vague on, and will help me actually be able to complete the draft), and felt it was time to start a different post, because the other one was long, and already had its own focus.

Previously, I've been setting mildly insane word count goals, and even though I'm sticking to vague targets, I'm going to drop that, because I need to do a major plot change, and that'll mean the word count isn't going up that much for a while.

So, I have my first and second acts good, but while outlining act three, I've realised the event at the start of act three would work better as a climax than the vague battle idea I have. It just seems more original, more effective, but it means I need to shift events around and re-figure the first block of act three. I'll begin tonight, but it's already 8pm, so I'll probably do most of it tomorrow.

Sun 07/03/2021 - Word Count: 28,365 08.24 I'm reworking act three, and I think I may just drop drafting for the moment and focus on incorporating the edits I have in mind, then start drafting over. I know all the advice says not to go back and edit, but this is a big change I can't wait to do, so it seems opportune to just make the others, too.

08.31 I've now finished reworking act three, and I'm much more satisfied with it than I was before. I do now need to go through the scenes again, however.

13.57 Still re-scening. This is frustrating, but I've decided when I'm back to drafting, I'm going to drop my daily minimum to just 500 words - even though I'll make very little progress at that pace, it's more realistic considering I'm about to be plunged back into the world of homework and commuting, and it's something I'll always be able to meet to help me keep in the habit of daily writing. Word count isn't applicable when I'm doing re-scening like today, though.

Something else I've noticed, when I'm writing literally anything, I'm just scribing the words I'm literally hearing in my head, which is a little bit of a problem because where I wrote 'meet' just now, I meant 'meet' but heard 'eat' in my head and wrote 'eat'.

17.07 I feel like I'm finally making some progress - I've been writing on-and-off all day. My word count has actually decreased a couple hundred words since yesterday, but Scrivener is convinced I've written 42,000 words today, which I obviously haven't. I've typed a lot of words, but not that many, not all of which added to that since deleting words takes words off that number. It thinks I've written so many, however, because I duplicated my act one folder twice (then deleted it, obviously, because I don't need three copies of the same act) but Scrivener doesn't take off the words when you delete the file, only when you literally hit backspace.

17.50 Sorting out my climax, I'm realising how bad it was before. Which I guess is good, because it shows internal criticism and growth...? Or something...?

21.04 I've totally planned out the majority of act three, but I haven't finished it because where I'm up to ends with my characters essentially making a game plan, and since I'm not yet sure what that game plan is, I can't outline the bit where they carry out the plan, but I'll do that later. I've incorporated some of the edits I wanted to make, though I've left a couple out because they're less drastic and I'm not sure whether or not to include them, so I'm going to sort that either during or after my first draft.

Since I've made quite a few changes that will affect the parts I've already drafted, I'm going to start my draft over, and reset my word count, but I'll do that tomorrow. For now, Scrivener thinks I've written 42,385 words today, which I absolutely have not, and my word count is currently 28,365, but I'm going to remove every outline and drafted piece I've done so I can start from zero for what I'm going to call draft #1.4, because I already wrote a version of about 40% of it.

God, my word count has gone back to 0 of my minimum 50,000. That hurts. It really hurts. My actual goal is more 70-90K, but 50K is my minimum, so that's what I'm going with for now.

Anyway, goodnight, and good luck me.

Mon 08/03/2021 - Word Count: 820 So, I wrote 820 words before school, then got home, attempted to do some homework and lost all motivation and will to do... anything. Which means I'm very glad I did over my 500 words this morning.

Tue 09/03/2021 - Word Count: 1,367 15.07 I called this a #1.4 draft, but it's more like a #1.3. Anyway, writing is so much less stressful when I'm working from something I've already written - with the first section, so far, at least, I'm basically just editing the writing itself rather than the events because I'm pretty happy, at least at the moment, with my first couple chapters. Very little thinking required.

Also, it's been over 30 hours since I've written because I did my writing before school yesterday, but haven't written yet today because I've got so much work to get done for school. It feels like it's been forever.

16.17 I've finished rewriting chapter one, and still have a lot of fuel in my tank (that's a hideous metaphor) but I think I'm going to cut off today at 547 words, just because I have quite a lot on my plate this week, and I'd like to invest some time in actually reading the book I started eight days ago, and am only 200 pages of the way through.

Wed 10/03/2021 - Word Count: 2,082 I could write significantly more than 500 words most days, but it really is easier to set a minimum that doesn't feel like a strain, so that's what I'm sticking with for now.

Thu 11/03/2021 - Word Count: 2,801

Fri 12/03/2021 - Word Count: 3,405

Sat 13/03/2021 - Word Count: 32,211 07.40 I've just had nothing extra to say the last couple days, which is ironic considering how much I wrote each day of the last post, which went up yesterday! Anyway, it's finally Saturday, and even though I have exactly zero motivation to do anything this morning, I've been awake for two hours already (I recently discovered I like mornings??) and I think it's time to get going. Still sticking to my 500 word minimum, but since it's Saturday, I'm going to invest most of the day in writing, so I should surpass that.

08.20 I don't think I've mentioned yet that I dubbed this WIP Bay Tree in this post. Sorry if I have, but I skimmed this post and can't find it. So, this is about to get messy. I'm basically just cleaning up my prose, but there's so little point doing that when I'm not certain each scene will stay. There's no point editing a chapter unless I know it's sticking around.

So we're reverting, and this is about to get messy. I didn't quite finish my initial draft of chapter seven, because I wasn't sure how exactly the event at the end of it would happen, but I think I'm just going to delve into it. I'm going to add everything, including outlines, back to my word count, finish writing chapter seven, then pick up where I left off in chapter nine. Okay. That's why my word count is jumping around.

And, just like that, I've gone from 4,074 to 28,864. Well, 500 words accomplished. Surpassed, in fact, by just 24,290.

I'm going to aim to just hit 30K by the end of this weekend. I can easily do 1,136 words in two days.

As I've mentioned before, I haven't outlined all the way to the end and through the climax--I have a fairly clear idea of how I want it to do go down, but I'm not sure what I want the characters' plan to actually be, so I currently have 21 chapters, but I'm projecting 23-26, which, at about 3,000 words each, is pretty damn good, especially when it'll just get longer as I redraft (she says optimistically).

Already feeling more motivated now my word count's higher.

09.54 Oh! Also, I logged onto Tumblr today to find someone reblogged my last writing post with a really positive, encouraging comment. It's nice to think I'm bringing someone else a little joy with this.

11.13 And we hit 30K! I'm not quite done for the day, but I do need to go pack. Also, I've been operating under the impression the minimum word count for a novel is 50K, but it's actually 40K, which, though I'm only about 40% of the way to my projected total word count, I'm officially 75% of the way to being able to say I've written a novel.

I'm so glad I've gotten as far as I have, and I just hope I can keep myself going to the end.

12.27 This post is going to look really strange to read - if you're only looking at the word counts, it looks like I've written nearly 27K words today. That makes sense.

Oh, and I finished chapter seven. Like an hour ago.

13.52 At this point, I have literally no idea what continuity things I've already established, so I'm just going by a let-my-future-self-suffer philosophy.

14.36 That's chapter nine done. That leaves chapters 10 to nobody-knows. I'm going to stop writing now, but I wrote nearly 4,000 words today (plus recounting about 20K) so I don't exactly think this cut-off will be detrimental.

Sun 14/03/2021 - Word Count: 35,548 07.58 I’ve written over a thousand words already, and it isn’t even 8am yet. Being a morning person is genuinely the best thing ever as an introvert--I’m asleep when people want to socialise, and awake when no-one else is. That makes me sound like a hermit. I love it anyway, and feel like I’m stacking up for a good writing day. 35K is probably a little overambitious, but what’s life without aspiration?

09.04 As I’m going, I’m realising my plot is actually coherent, and being surprised that I can actually make a story without plot holes (as of yet.)

09.21 And that makes the first eleven chapters drafted!

...And, Houston, we have a problem. Dammit. Eleven chapters, and I haven’t established one of the most important world-building points. Which is especially irritating because it needs to be established by chapter twelve. Unless I can establish it at the start of chapter twelve? We’ll go with that, so I don’t have to go back, then I’ll sort it out in edits or draft two or something.

I’ve just started writing chapter twelve, but I think, having written 2,600 words today already, I need a break. I have less than 500 words until I hit 35K, but I’m going to leave it for now, and come back this evening. I should be able to hit 40K this week.

18.19 And that makes 35K. Chapter twelve is only two scenes, and I’ve written one, but having written 3,000 words so far today, I’m going to leave it until tomorrow.

Mon 15/03/2021 - Word Count: 36,337 17.19 So there’s a crucial plot point just after my midpoint, and I’m not completely sure what to do. I mean, I know what I’m doing--I just wasn’t sure exactly how I wanted it to go, but now I know. The issue is other stuff needs to be pre-established, and I’ve worked out where it needs to go, but I don’t know whether or not I want to go back and write those bits now, or just make note of it and add it in draft two.

I think I’m just going to make note, plough ahead, and deal with it in draft two. I’m trying to figure out exactly how I’m going to operate after this draft: things generally say put it down for a few weeks, come back for edits, then go into your next draft, but I feel like I’m already going to have so many edits gathered by the time I reach the end of this draft, I should just go back into it, but time will probably be beneficial. Not that it actually matters now. I’m only just halfway through an under-draft (by that I mean it’s going to get a lot longer). I’m going to add new scenes in my next draft and generally fiddle with plot aspects, but as quite a linear writer, I think I’m more naturally inclined to just incorporate aspects in a draft rather than as edits. I’m not sure. Does that even make any sense?

Depending on when I finish this draft, I think I’ll plan to pick it back up May 1st, and just see how I’m feeling. But, again, this all depends on when I finish the draft, and how I’m feeling when that time comes.

Tue 16/03/2021 - Word Count: 37,025 I bought my Scrivener license today! Yay!

Wed 17/03/2021 - Word Count: 38,408 08.04 This is mostly irrelevant to my project, but I just wanted to mention the odd fact that I’m definitely a plotter when it comes to longer pieces, but when I do shorter pieces, creative or essays, for school, I hate planning, and just start immediately, then go back and edit. Huh.

Thu 18/03/2021 - Word Count: 38,950 I’m going to edit this, but writing the date just now I noticed I’ve put 2019 for the last three days. It’s absolutely not, and I know why I did that, but still.

14.31 Also, Oxford commas? Found out what they were. Granted, that was actually a few days ago.

Fri 19/03/2021 - Word Count: 40,139 06.55 Even though I wrote 500 words yesterday, I didn’t quite reach my goal of 39K, just because I had to stop writing 50 words off, and by the time I had the opportunity to go back, I just wanted to go to bed. So, today, my goal is to hit 40K words, and officially be able to say I’ve hit the minimum word count for a novel.

Honestly, I’m starting to lose my love for this project. I’m still enjoying working on it, don’t get me wrong, but I’m anticipating finishing it because I know exactly what I want to write next. I feel like I’m mostly still working on it as a lesson, and I know it’s not what I ultimately want to write--mostly because it’s not super high-concept, and high-concept stuff is what I want to be writing. I am still enjoying working on it, I’m just not sure I’ll get to the ‘final line-edits’ stage. But who knows?

10.19 And that marks 40K. We’re in novel terriority, people. And, yes, I could correct that spelling, but I’d like to draw attention to how bad I am at spelling when typing. I’m excellent at spelling in writing, and wrong spellings bother me, but when I’m typing, my fingers are just trying to keep up with my mind, which means I try to type a letter and the one after it at the same time, and often end up with letters in the wrong order and punctuation in the wrong place. Or I just hit halfway between two keys instead of the key I’m going for, and type a wrong letter. Anyway, that was meant to say territory. See? I can spel..

Or I just double the punctuation instead of the last letter.

So I’m definitely not meeting my old goal of 80K words or a finished draft by the end of the month--that’d be another 40K words in just 12 days--but I’m definitely on track to finish by the end of April.

Sat 20/03/2021 - Word Count: 40,692 15.30 God, second acts are hard. I hate being in the middle. At the start, you have novelty, and at the end (not that I would know from experience) you have the knowledge you’re near the end, that you’ve already written most of it.

I’m currently operating the reminder, ‘You’ve written an act before, why not again?’, in hopes that’ll eventually extend to, ‘You’ve finished a draft before, why not again?’ and ‘You’ve written an entire book before, why not again?’

I’ve literally written 243 words so far today, and I just don’t want to. Normally, I sit down, I slog through the first hundred or so words, then pick up momentum. Maybe it’s just because chapter 13 is a boring part to write. Ha. 13. Just my luck.

I’m being nice to myself because a lot has happened in my life over the last few days, but I still want to write a minimum of 500 words, even though most Saturdays I can write more like 3,000.

21.41 I’d like to be asleep. That sounds like fun. Today slipped through my grasp, and I haven’t even written 300 words, but I am going to try to at least hit 500. And then maybe write thousands and thousands tomorrow, but I’m also going to bake a cake, and I’m notorious for being able to make cooking and baking take at least three times as long as is necessary.

21.57 So I got just past 500. Relatively speaking, that’s not that impressive for me, but it’s more words than most people in the world added to their manuscripts today, so I have to give myself some credit. (I’m working on crediting myself for productivity rather than degrading myself for not being productive--I could go on for hours about how much it pisses me off that capitalism teaches us productivity=worth in everything, not just business, but I’m going off on a tangent.)

Sun 21/03/2021 - Word Count: 41,466 08.08 Cakes baked! And I’ve come to a conclusion about how irritating I am to myself--I didn’t fully outline the latter half of act two (by which I mean I have each scene and a purpose of each scene, but virtually no detail) which I can absolutely cope with, but it does slow me down. Anyway, I’m waiting for my cakes to cool, then I can ice them.

14.28 I wanted to write up to 42K this weekend, which I don’t think is going to happen. I’ve written 774 words, so passed my 500-word minimum, but haven’t yet reached 42K, and don’t think I’m going to this weekend. I just don’t have much motivation, which may just be because of the part I’m on, but I’d rather work through this part really slowly then pick up the pace when I get to the part I want to be writing, than force myself to write this section quickly and poorly, then not want to continue into act three. So, sticking to 500 words a day; I may do more later, but I’m leaving it for now.

Mon 22/03/2021 - Word Count: 42,006 17.56 God, I don’t want to write today. I’m going to anyway, because I haven’t yet failed 500 words. They can be a shitty 500 words, but they have to be 500 words. Also, the scene I wrote yesterday? Absolutely getting deleted. But I’m leaving it for now because I refuse to lose those 800 words.

I really enjoy putting edits at the bottom of scenes in brackets and making them unnecessarily wordy so Scrivener thinks I’ve written significantly more words than I actually have.

18.31 Yay, did it. I’m really hoping I can just work through this low spot and don’t have to take a break. I’m on the penultimate chapter of act two, and the first few chapters of act three are really exciting, so I’ll know if I need to take a break based on whether I get motivated when I get to that part.

Tue 23/03/2021 - Word Count: 42,124 16.37 GOD, I need a break. I don’t have motivation, even for 500 words. You know what? I’m just going to make a note of the scene idea I had earlier, and I’m going to take a week’s break. Unless I get antsy, in which case I may end it earlier, but, I’m not going to write again until Tuesday the 30th. Unless I get antsy. FUCK.

I’m just reminding myself breaks are good and important, but I still hate that I’m taking one without finishing my first draft. Tue 30/03/2021, I will be back! Though my word count may increase between now and then as I note down any ideas I have, which I will update with. Okay. Just leave it.

Sun 28/03/2021 - Word Count: 42,150 10.47 Since Tuesday, I’ve made some notes on my phone of little things I want to change, but haven’t added them to my project file, so the word count hasn’t gone up.

Last night, I was just thinking about how badly I wanted to get back to this project, but this morning, I just... don’t. I’ve been thinking it through, and I’m not ready to drop this project yet, but I’m just not happy with what I have at the moment. So, I’m going to add my notes to the file, and then leave it for a few weeks, so I can return with edits in mind, apply them, and then start what I guess will be like a 1.7 draft, because I didn’t finish this draft.

In the meantime, however, I do want to keep writing, so I’m going to start another project in the meantime, which I can work on a lot in the next few weeks because, in a few days, I get a couple weeks off, which won’t be completely free of work, but will give me a lot more time to dedicate to this.

I think I’m going to say I’ll return to Bay Tree (or at least review, if, say, I just want to dedicate a little more time to whatever phase of the new project before I move on) on May 10th, because that’s basically when I get to relax after my exams finish.

So I’ll add the notes I have so far, keep making notes on my phone, and return on May 10th.

Which wraps up this writing update--a new one will come with my new project!

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ravenwritesstuff · 5 years ago

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Best Laid Plans (10/?)

Fandom: Frozen (modern AU, no magic) Pairings: Helsa, established Kristanna, Rapunzel/Eugene, lotsa frohana Rating: T for now, M later almost for sure A/N: Fun fact about why it takes me so long to write stuff. I write everything out of order. The very first scene I wrote of this fiction is in this chapter.

She cannot help but be wary. She has seen what happens when Hans Westergaard shows what he wants and she is all too familiar with that heat and tension. Her body tightens in anticipation of what he means, and does her best to hide her apprehension behind professionalism.

"While I am sure we all are thrilled with the mystery of your offer, it really is critical that we establish exactly what you want as quickly as we can as our timeline is so limited."

She has never had a client be so withdrawn about their event or purpose before. Most clients could not wait to throw ideas and concepts and colors in her direction or instead all the things they didn’t want. So far she knows he liked the wedding because they danced and that he likes the ocean. She is in no way prepared for an event where that is the center. His lack of forthcoming throws her off balance and makes her irritable. She is not sure if it is just the Hans Westergaard way or if she is actually losing control of the situation. Whatever it is, she does not like it, but she hides her discomfort behind a Mona Lisa smile.

"Of course. Which is why I am going to show it to you as soon as I can. But it will require the wearing of swimsuits and the ability to swim. Are you all up to the occasion?” He is in full showman now, the elegant host, and while she feels more at ease when he is in this space she also likes it less. The conflict leaves her with feelings she promptly ignores and shoves down beneath the mental checklists ticking through her mind.

“Per your vague instructions I believe we are all prepared for a swim,” she looks around at her team to get their confirmation even though she knows they all packed accordingly. “But really we have so much to cover. I think it will be best if we work through a few more steps before we get distracted.”

“Oh this is not a distraction. I promise.” He peers out over the ocean, shielding his eyes to make out something. “We have ten minutes before we need to get suited up so let’s talk until then.” He leans back and sips his coffee. “I would love to hear more from the team personally. Why do you all do what you do? What part of the events you manage is your favorite?”

It is an unconventional question, but what other kind can she expect from Hans Westergaard?

She watches as the team all look at each other with puzzled expressions and she is glad that at least this time she is not the only one befuddled by what Hans Westergaard has to say.

“I mean - I guess my favorite thing is that I get to work with my family.” Anna chimes in first, smiling at Elsa and Kristoff. “We make a great team and I don’t know many families that can say that!” She turns to Rapunzel and Eugene as well. “And I’ve gained new family members I never knew before. So it is a win all around.”

“As someone deeply acquainted with the complications of family - I appreciate that Anna.”

It is strange to hear her sister’s name on his lips, to see him smile at her and smile in return.

Anna nudges Kristoff with her elbow and he grunts before offering:

“I get to work with my hands and make my wife happy. Not much better than that.” He chuckles when Anna throws her arm across his stomach and side hugs him. “Plus there is something awesome when a client sees you build the thing they wanted just like they wanted. Makes you feel like Santa or something.”

“The tables and altar at Eric’s weddings were incredible. You made those?”

Kristoff tilts his head, not one to enjoy outright praise, and then nods.

Hans returns his nod with a smile. “Excellent work. Truly. I have ideas for you.”

Elsa sees an opportunity and cuts in: “We would love to hear more about those ideas so we can really talk them over and -”

“Hold on,” Mister Westergaard holds up his hand and focuses on the petite brunette across from him. “What is your favorite part of planning events?”

“Oh. I love weddings and I know you aren’t planning a wedding, but they are my favorite.” Rapunzel’s eyes widen. “But my favorite part of my favorite weddings is the kiss. You can totally tell who is going to make it and who isn’t by the kiss. When the groom really kisses the bride - or bride kisses the bride - or groom and groom - oh you get it. When they kiss them in the way that you can almost feel it from the back row… yeah. That’s my favorite part because I know we did something to give them their happily ever after.”

Leave it to Rapunzel would say something fantastical. Never mind that it has absolutely nothing to do with her role in the company or what is at the heart of their events, but it is water under the bridge. Elsa sniffs.

“Is everything okay?” It is Mister Westergaard. He is arching his brow in the most annoying fashion because it makes her stomach flutter and her mouth go dry and she screwed up. She drew attention to herself at the worst time possible.

“Don’t mind her.” Rapunzel interjects before Elsa can even force a smile. “It’s just that Elsa has never really been kissed.” She smiles a little too broadly at her boss before looking at Eugene (who is honestly at a loss).

Elsa is flummoxed by the comment and she can practically see the mischief dancing across Rapunzel’s features. She is living for this, needling her like the second younger sister she never had. Anna is hiding laughter behind her strawberry lemonade where Kristoff’s eyes are wider than she has ever seen them.

She cannot even look at Hans Westergaard.

Eugene clears his throat and swoops in while Elsa’s mind sputters at Rapunzel’s brazenness.

“Well to be completely honest I had a bit of a rough start. I didn’t exactly use my super negotiation skills for good, but Elsa gave me an opportunity to do what I do in a productive way and that is what I enjoy the most. I like knowing I can con a deal for my client,” it is a joke and they all force a laugh. “Plus I like parties.”

Even Hans Westergaard manages a smirking chuckle without all of Eugene’s history. Chances are he has files on all them from some sort of private detective or something invasive like that anyway. There is no need for elaboration.

“So what about you, Hans?” Anna says, sipping her drink, deflecting from what was to inevitably be Elsa’s turn to share. “Why E&A Events? What do we bring to the table that you want for your event?”

Elsa could hug her sister for the segway.

Anything to focus past the horrendous mess Rapunzel insisted on introducing and keep Elsa from having to answer Hans’ time wasting question.

Hans looks at them all and smiles. It is wide and easy, like he has never had any other job besides smiling at them and his response makes her boil. She hates his smile, his calm, that he had somehow gotten her on this ship where her insides are being flipped and churned and turned upside down.

“I want you because you are unexpected,” he says matter-of-factly. “You aren’t what I thought I would want but somehow you are exactly, wholly, and perfectly what I need right now.”

Elsa does not need to look up from her tablet to know he is speaking directly to her. She can feel his gaze as sure as she can feel the hammering pulse in her throat. It takes her best efforts to take rein of her stampeding thoughts and draw a deep breath.

“That is very nice of you to say Mister Westergaard,” she pretends to be very busy taking notes on her tablet. “We are excited to dive into the particulars about why you chose us but right now I think the question we all have is just what exactly we are endeavoring to initiate.”

He nods and looks again at the horizon just as the ship’s pace slows dramatically. His smile spreads. He looks back at them.

“You’re about to find out. It is time to suit up.”

….

Elsa put on her incredibly conservative one piece in the stark privacy of a marble and gold bathroom. The couples were given other rooms and while she knows the lighting is not flattering all she can do is look at flaws in the mirror. The suit had been specifically chosen because it did not show any of her scars. The navy suit had no cut outs, barely scooped below her collarbones and shoulder blades. The suit is made out the same fabric that swim athletes use. It compresses every inch it encases but it covers everything and is not flashy in the slightest.

She had told Anna and Rapunzel to leave the bikinis at home.

She hopes they had or else her suit is going to look impossibly old fashioned.

She turns sidewise in the mirror and sucks in. She is not certain why. Her shape is her shape. There is little much she can do about that now. Her swim wrap is her saving grace. It looks much like any of the other dresses she might wear throughout the week though is slightly sheer. The almost black is burned out with floral patterns and wraps at the waist with a feminine sensibility she normally eschews, but she had nothing else that would serve on such short notice.

She looks at herself once more, feels her bare feet on the cool tile and breathes. This is fine. She is simply winning over a client that her company needs to impress. That is all.

She presses her hands against her stomach and breathes.

She does not tell herself it will be okay. She has not done that in years. Instead she tells herself it will all be managed. It will happen and she will handle it, whatever it is. This is a test and she intends on passing it.

There are risk to swimming with her condition, but she knows her team has her back. They will watch her. It will be okay.

She tosses her braid over her shoulder, makes sure her personal items and stacked tidily in the corner, forces herself out of the bathroom.

The rest of them are already waiting on the aft desk. She hopes she hadn’t taken too long, not wanting to raise suspicion by her lengthy change. She assesses everyone’s dress as she approaches. The expression of personalities under the instruction of ‘dress appropriately’ is not lost on her with Anna’s tankini beneath a loosely tied robe, Kristoff’s rash guard and the longest possible swimmers available. Eugene trends towards more fashionable Bermuda cuts and Rapunzel’s suit is a one piece that hardly qualifies with all of the crazy cut outs. That leaves Hans Westergaard who stands in shorts similar to Eugene’s and a plain white t-shirt that is too tight to be decent.

She tries to not notice the shape of his calves, the size and shape of his feet, but it is a lost cause. Her rebellious mind grabs onto these facts before she can convince it not to. He smiles as he sees her and it is the same earth shattering power that leaves her shaky and uncertain where the rest of the world went.

“Shall we?” he says to the group before leading them out of the shaded part of the deck out into the bright sun.

She squints and pulls her sunglasses down over her eyes as he leads them out past the infinity pool. There are wide steps beyond it railed with stainless steel grips and she clings to them as they descend to what appears to be a small launching platform.. At the base there is a large white space where three crew members wait. They demonstrate general snorkeling protocol that she vaguely remembers from when she was six, before this all began. They offer up equipment. They fit it to them. Then the worst comes.

Every swimmer must have one buddy. Pick your buddy and know you are responsible for them out in the water.

And the lines are so clearly drawn.

She stands fidgeting with her mask and flippers knowing she is now responsible for Hans Westergaard. Anna casts her a knowing glance, but Elsa knows that damage that would be done if she let Anna be her partner. The affront will be obvious, personal, and honestly this is the least of worst case scenarios.

It is just swimming. They won’t have to touch or speak. All she has to do is make sure that Hans Westergaard does not die. Easy peasy.

With a return glance she calms her sister’s concerns. It will be okay. This is okay. She is okay.

Then the crew is distributing sturdy plastic bottles to everyone named with only the words BODY and FACE This time though Mr Westergaard steps up to explain the reasons.

“This is just a little project I’ve been working on - a new line of sunblock. If you don’t mind using this instead of the kind you brought I would love to know what you think.”

Elsa holds both bottles in her hands thinking it is a bit strange, but she would rather have him be strange than charming. She had applied sunblock that morning in her apartment just in case, but the sun is bright and she is not interested in burning.

She opens the bottle labeled BODY and starts with her legs and feet. The scent and feel of a lotion is pleasing. The texture is not oily or rough but actually absorbs into the skin easily. The scent is not overwhelmingly tropical but instead has the essence of eucalyptus. It is refreshing. She hates to admit how much she enjoys it.

They are all standing fairly close together but the couples have sectioned off into their own little bubbles. She and Hans are on the outside, reasonably spaced. Anna has lost her robe as has Rapunzel. She is next and the idea of him seeing her in something so opposite of what she normally wears makes her heart race. What if he was cataloguing her traits the way she inadvertently was his? What if he liked what he saw? What if he didn’t?

She reprimands herself. None of that matters. This is a job just like any other job and she needs to stop losing her mind over things that don’t matter.

Her fingers work the tie at her side, thankful now more than ever that they all were wearing sunglasses. If he did look at her she wouldn’t know. She shrugs and the wrap falls to her elbows and then slips all the way to her hands. She carefully draws it in front of her and folds it neatly before setting it next to her snorkel gear and hopes it is bright enough that no one can tell she is blushing.

She retrieves her sunblock and works her way over all the parts she had missed before until she arrives at the exposed part of her back that she cannot reach. She is struggling to bend her arms to cover stubborn spots between her shoulder blades, head bent down, and a pair of feet comes into her field of vision. She looks up and Hans Westergaard stands there with his sanctioned sunblock in his hand. He looks at her with a smile that is nothing but warm, sincere, and if he wasn’t wearing sunglasses she is sure that his eyes would hold that defenseless, human look that always rattles her..

“Need some help?” He offers. “The back is always the first place to burn.”

Her decline is on the tip of her tongue but she hesitates. She can always just ask Anna for help but how will that look? No matter how infuriating and unsettling this man is he is still her client and she is trying to make a point. She can handle his flirting and still maintain a professional nature.

“Okay.” She gives a stiff nod.

He circles around her and that is worse. She is standing there in a garment that shows every lump, bump, and irregularity. It is not cut for flattery and she should be glad of that at this moment, but she finds herself wishing she has the more daring choices of her counterparts. Or at least something that doesn’t look like she is about to take a water aerobics class at senior citizens center.

No. She mentally reprimands herself. This is for the best. She is here to be professional, and he cannot create ideas about her interest in enticing him in any way when she is wearing the equivalent of a nuns habit in modern swimwear.

She hears him open the bottle, make the necessary squirt, and she waits then for the first touch. It takes longer than expected to come, but when it does her entire body stiffens.

She had expected cold but there is none of that. The lotion and his touch are warm. He spreads the cream over the available skin before he begins the process of massaging it in. She stays perfectly still, not daring to move, and does everything in her power to not consider that he is touching her, she is allowing it, and that the strength of his fingers is enjoyable.

His thumbs trace the fragile wings of her shoulder blades. The slick of the lotion gives his touch a silky glide as his hands work across her skin, tracing the delicate bulbs of her spine. He comes up to where her braid hangs across her neck and pushes it to the side before she can stop him.

She knows exactly when he sees it. She can sense it in his hesitation. The scar creeping from the base of her neck up under her hairline is a wide pink line, made wider and more noticeable with every cut, and is something she hides with low lying hairstyles and high collars but now…

She can practically hear his breath catch at the sight.

His thumbs run in tandem up along the length of her scar in impossible reverence. She is sure that he can feel the rapid rhythm of her heart against his fingertips where they rest on her throat before she pulls away.

“I'm sure that's good. Thank you.” she flips her braids back over her neck in an attempt to not rub the spot his thumbs had branded and looks at him with a dare to ask her.

It would be a relief in so many ways if he would just ask. If she could just tell him and scare him away before they get any further in this unnamed dance. Behind his sunglasses it is nearly impossible to tell what his intent is until a smile spreads over his face. Instead of probing he hands her the bottle of sunscreen.

“Return the favor?” It is a question as much as it isn't and she can hardly keep from blushing when he strips off his t-shirt. He winks as he turns his back to her and she recognizes a challenge when she sees one.

But that isn’t all she sees.

Her eyes trace the ropes of his muscles as they bunch and pull as he adjusts his posture to do his own application on the front of his torso. A wide smattering of freckles swaths his broad shoulders in frenetic clusters. Despite his fair complexion there is a tawny glow that speaks of his love of being outdoors.

For a long moment she stands there frozen just staring as he worked his hands down the length of his arms. She watches his hand slip over the enticingly sharp cuts and swells of his shoulder and then down lower. He turns his head a bit to cast a look in her direction with a smirking grin.

“If you need more lotion, just let me know.”

Then he is back to it. His short phrase jerks her out of whatever spell she had been under and now it feels like all eyes are on her. Is her sister watching, is Kristoff? Eugene definitely would be and Rapunzel probably was brokering some sort of wager about what is actually happening and what will happen.

She grits her teeth.

She knows if she looks to see if any of that is true she will not be able to do this, which is exactly why she doesn’t. She’s spent the better part of today convincing everyone that this is nothing more than a harmless flirtation and that she can handle it. Running away screaming because he needs help applying sunscreen is not going to do much for her case, but she knows she is going to hear about this later.

So she might as well put on a show.

She grabs a nearby bottle and squares her shoulders. The cap opens with a snap. She focuses on each motion as she squirts a generous amount into the palm of her opposite hand. It is too much, she knows, but it is the only shield she has. She rubs her hands together to coat them thoroughly and then, before she can lose her nerve, reaches out to touch.

Even with the thick creamy coat of sunblock she can feel the heat of him rising to her touch. The broad lines of his back are long with foreign trenches and cords of muscle telling their story of use. His body is not exaggerated in size like her brother-in-law’s, but it is well formed, athletically cut. There is a kind of feline grace about him and the way he moves, the way his calculating eyes watch her move in this game she can hardly remember starting.

She is more rough than she needs to be, pressing hard enough that she feels him brace. She does not take the care he did to make sure that every inch of skin is absolutely slathered and rubbed in. She works from the center of his back up over his shoulder blades and then down close to the line of his swim trunks.

She stares at her own hands moving across his skin and she tries to think of anything but the idea that she is just inches away from dangerous territory. As if this entire exercise isn’t dangerous territory. She lets out a breath she did not know she was holding and steps away.

"There. All set." She holds her hands down at her sides, palms still tingling with his heat.

He turns and faces her.

"So," he sets his sunscreen on the deck and straightens. "Snorkel buddies? What do you say?"

She has to respect that he is actually asking instead of just assuming. It gives her the opportunity to negotiate.

"We could always triple up. No sense in creating a superfluous twosome."

"There is no possible way that any group you are a part of could be superfluous," he grins. "But it's statistically safer in pairs. Trust me one we get out there you will have so much to see that I promise you will be glad you only have to keep track of one other person."

She is not going to ask for his source on those stats, but instead she asks: “What exactly are we going to look at?”

She had not thought it possible, but his smile grew three sizes at her question.

“My initiative,” he pulls off his sunglasses, puts them off to the side, and fits his mask over the top of his head. “Ready to see?”

She looks over to the others and they all have their gear ready to go and are watching them. How long had they been watching them? She looks back at Hans and nods.

He leads them to the edge of the platform. It is a few feet above the water with a plastic and metal ladder on the side. Hans sits, pulls his flippers onto his dangling feet, and then slides off into the blue water. He pops up only an instant later and swims back a few feet to look up at them.

“Water’s great!” He treads, powerful shoulder muscles rolling. “Come on in.”

They all follow suit. Elsa is the last to slip from the safe edge of the boat into the water below. It is cold, not freezing, but definitely not bathtub water. The temperature is jarring at first. Her body cramps and hesitates as she stays submerged, but she manages to kick to the surface. She pops up on a sputtering gasp, reorients herself, and swims to the others.

“We’re swimming to that buoy over there.” He points to a yellow speck a few hundred yards away. I recommend using one of these to help with the swim.” He raises his arm out of the water and gestures. Several life preserver belts fly over the edge from a helpful crew member and they all grab one. “Also once we are out there it is a strict look but don’t touch policy. Ready?”

“When will we know we are seeing what we are supposed to be seeing?” Rapunzel asks, her intrepid curiosity shining through.

“I have a feeling you will know.” He smiles and pulls his mask over his eyes. “Follow me!”

[ previous ]

#Best Laid Plans #Helsa #IceBurns #Kristanna #Eugene x Rapunzel #AU #Fanfiction #Raven Writes Stuff

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bngtanah · 4 years ago

Text

The Difference Between Boys & Girls | o7

summary: Sam & Erin are university students who share a cheap one bedroom apartment above a shitty takeaway restaurant. Due to the limited space, they’ve grown accustomed to sharing just about everything, including the occasional kiss.

pairing: Jung Hoseok (Samuel Park) feat. Park Jimin (Brian Yi) x Named OC characters: meet the cast.

genre: angst, smut, fluff word count: 3k chapters: o1| o2| o3| o4| o5| o6| o7| o8| o9| 10| 11| 12| 13| 14 warning: boyfriend!hoseok, jealous!hoseok, painter!jimin, friends to lovers trope, college au, angst, sexual themes, slow burn, arguing, pining

a/n: this ones a bit short, sorry!

Sammy stopped waiting for Erin to return long after the sun had set and the plates of food he'd set out for both of them grew cold and inedible. His intentions for the night were simple; treat Erin to a highly deserved meal prepared by someone who was not him, commend her for how hard she had been working lately in order to do as well as she could on her few remaining final exam and somehow during the night offhandedly mention the fact that he was in love with her and probably has been since the first time they met. Just to gauge her reaction. It was a simple plan that didn't require any extra factors to be accomplished but it definitely did require Erin to be present, which she was not.

A frown turned down the corners of Samuel's lips and created an expression that was rarely seen on his naturally bright and cheery face. With one final glance down at his cell phone that had been quiet all night, Sam huffed and pushed himself back from the coffee table then stood up. It was well after 12 and Erin hadn't called, texted or left any indication of where she might have been and what was taking her so long to come back home. He thought about calling her as he blew out the single candle that was placed in the middle of the coffee table, Samuel argued with himself the entire time he put away the extra food and ultimately decided that he shouldn't. He was worried about her but that didn't really give him ample reason to treat her like a child breaking curfew, especially since he had a vague idea of where could be at this hour.

Samuel knew that Erin wasn't exactly a party-going socialite so she couldn't have been out dancing; if she was staying late at the library or work she would have texted him or left a note for him somewhere when she came home. He had also taken note of the aftermath of clothing and makeup left behind by hurricane Erin all over her room which meant she went someplace where she wanted to look her best and there was only one reason Erin really dressed up these days.

Brian.

The image of that orange-haired punk putting his hands on Erin made Sammy grit his teeth and fling his body back against the couch. He was letting his imagination get the better of him but just thought of anyone but him comforting Erin after a long day at work, touching her or anything else made Samuel's blood boil. His feelings were irrational and childish and even if Samuel recognised that it wouldn't have stopped the anger that found root in his heart or the ache that pinged him after he allowed his agitation to settle down.

Erin was no longer just his.

She was content in finding happiness elsewhere and Samuel had to find a way to accept that. They were getting older and even though he would have loved to, Sam supposed they couldn't continue to simply play house for the rest of their lives. Eventually, they had to grow up and maybe that meant growing apart too.

Brian was normally a late riser. It was never unusual for him to still be in a deep sleep well after 12 in the afternoon but today was different. Today he was up with the sun and the scent of lingering arousal and a familiar gentle aroma of woman’s perfume filled his nose. The first thing he felt was something against his face, warm, soft brown and ticklish. A yawn forced his jaw to go slack as the sunlight shone through the window, brightening up his bedroom. A nest of brown hair rested below his nose, belonging to the naked feminine body that was cuddled up against him.

He swept a few strands of her hair away from Erin's slumbering face as a small, tender smile crept upon his lips. Her current expression was in such contrast to the one she was wearing just a few hours ago when she crying out with pleasure beneath him. Now she was so quiet. So calm. Brian wasn't sure which one he liked better. He pressed a kiss on her earlobe, then traveled down to her neck and brushed his lips gently against her skin until she stirred slightly and turned to her side, muttering something that sounded like 'Quit playing Sammy', but Brian couldn't be sure.

He ignored the doubt and peeled himself away from Erin's body, the cold air of his loft attacking his body the second he was no longer covered by the plush comforters. Brian pulled a pair of joggers on his lower body and decided that he might as well pick up the rest of the clothing that had randomly landed around the floor of his bedroom while he was at it. In a careful and lazy manner he retrieved most of Erin's clothes and placed them on the edge of the bed near where she lay, he grinned again when Erin rolled onto her back and spread her arms out at her side. Her jacket was in his hand and he was about to place on the bed with the rest of her clothes but something fell out of the pocket and gave him pause.

Brian knew the easy thing to do would have been to put the folded up sheet of paper back into the jacket pocket since it wasn't his and he didn't really have a reason to read it, but he was curious and figured it was probably just some leftover fax from work that Erin had forgotten to send out. It wouldn't hurt to read it.

So Brian unfolded the sheet of paper and instead of seeing figures and numbers or a schedule of some sort like he expected Brian found himself reading a handwritten note from Erin's roommate. There was nothing scandalous written, and it definitely seemed like a friendly gesture between friends but something about the way Samuel wrote 'Love, Sammy' with a silly little heart in place of the 'o' and the general tone of the note rubbed Brian the wrong way. It was all just so.... intimate. An innocent kind of intimacy but still an intimacy that Brain often didn't feel when he was alone with Erin. The paper crumpled in Brian's fist and he shoved it back into the pocket where it fell from and tossed the jacket onto the bed before swiftly moving out of the room.

It took another few minutes for Erin to wake up and realise that she was alone in bed in a bedroom that did not belong to her. The initial panic within her subsided when she remembered that she was still in Brian's loft and her arms stretched far above her head as she sat up and glanced around the empty room. Everything looked so different bathed in sunlight but Erin didn't allow herself to linger for too long, she was out of bed and dressed in a matter of seconds and quickly went to search for her boyfriend.

Erin smiled widely when she caught sight of him in the kitchen fumbling around with something she couldn't see. She wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and buried her face into the space between his shoulder blades, pressing her plush lips against his warm bare skin.

"You let me wake up alone, rude" She giggled and hardly noticed the way he tensed up when her lips made contact with his body.

"Sorry," Brian muttered in response but didn't turn around.

Erin was slightly put off by his curt response and her eyes squinted downward for a moment but she pushed on regardless, concluding that Brian just may not have been a morning person.

"So um, I was thinking that since I have my final final in a few hours and I can't really stay for too long today maybe we could meet up this afternoon? You promised to take me back that speakeasy pub last month and we still haven't been back."

Brian shrugged and gave Erin a halfhearted 'maybe' in response but when he stopped washing dishes and moved from the sink to the refrigerator like she wasn't even holding him his actions left her confused and honestly a little hurt. She didn't understand why he was acting like his, especially after last night.

"Are you okay Brian?" She asked gently, still hovering around the sink.

"I'm fine" he replied with his head hidden behind the door of the fridge.

Erin shuffled on the heels of her feet and bit down on her lip, he definitely didn't sound fine.

"Are you sure because you seem a little...upset? Is this about last night? Do you think we're moving too fast or something?" Erin paused and laced her fingers together "Do you regret sleeping with me?"

Her last question made Brian shut the door and look directly at her for the first time that morning, his expression soft and apologetic.

"What? No, of course I don't" he said in a whisper as he reached forward to pull her against his chest.

"Then why are you acting so weird?"

Brian pressed his lips together and rested his cheek against Erin's temple.

"It's silly..."

"I still wanna hear it"

"...fine. I found something this morning that made me a little upset that's all"

"Upset? With me?" Erin asked and pulled her head back to look up at her boyfriend.

"Yeah. I came across the little note that your roommate left you when I was picking up your clothes and I didn't like it."

"Wait a minute, you were snooping through my pockets while I slept? Do distrust me that much?"

Erin completely detached herself from Brian's body and put an ample amount of space between them. She could understand if he was upset about something that actually warranted a reaction but there was nothing written there to explain this kind of reaction.

"I wasn't snooping, it fell out!"

"That doesn't matter who are you to be rifling through my personal effects? That note wasn't addressed to you so you had no business reading it, and what the hell could have made you so damn vexed? Is no one else allowed to hope I have a good day but you?"

Brian exhaled deeply and girded his hips, he was doing his best to keep a level head but with Erin's voice raising slightly the more she spoke it was becoming harder for him to remain docile.

"It's not what was written on the paper but the tone of it all that bothered me."

"Because you can judge tone just by reading something?"

"No, but I can judge it based on past experience, I've seen the way he looks at you when you're not paying attention Erin. You've said that there's nothing going on between you two I not so convinced of that. I mean we can barely get through one date without you mentioning his name at least five times, trust me I've counted."

Erin gasped, her fingers raking through the front of her hair as she turned away from him for a few moments before turning back to face him with her features shrouded in anger.

"Are you fucking kidding me? If this has been bothering you for so long why are you just now bringing it up, you've had so many opportunities to ask me about this?"

"I didn't think it would be a problem before now, and look I don't want to keep bringing this up but can you honestly tell me that he doesn't feel anything for you? I'm not saying he's got to be in love with you but you can't live with someone and not-"

"Of course, we love each other!" Erin bellowed before Brian had a chance to finish his sentence, her gaze wild with anger as she stepped toward Brian who looked startled.

"We've known each other for over half the duration of our lives, we have shared every major moment in life since middle school. I know that Sammy loves me with every part of him that is capable of giving love but there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with them. He's not in love with me." Erin noticed the slight tremble in her voice when she spoke, the part of her that still wished Sammy felt some other way was still alive and ached when the reality of her words hit her.

"I-i'm sorry, I shouldn't have overreacted..." Brian stuttered and attempted to reach for her shoulder but Erin side stepped him and shook her head.

"I'm going to be late for my test."

It's well into the afternoon when Erin finally returns to her apartment and finds Sammy bundled up on his pullout bed watching something on Netflix that she didn't recognize. Silently she kicked off her shoes, dropped her bag and made a beeline straight for her roommate, forcing her way into his lap which made him sit up rigidly and peer down at her.

"Can you hold me?" were her only words and Samuel was quick to oblige her by wrapping his arms tightly around her body and holding Erin tight to his chest. He recognized the pained expression on her face and knew that she would probably need a minute before she felt like telling him what was wrong. So they both sat in a comfortable silence, the background noise from the television filling the void until Samuel finally looked down at Erin and ticked up one of his eyebrows.

"What's wrong, noona?"

Erin took a deep breath and relayed her entire day to Sam, the fight with Brian, her race to her university, the fact that she nearly missed her opportunity to take her final exam and the fact that she was so distracted from her argument with Brian she may have bombed her final. She was on the verge of tears by the time she was done speaking but Samuel calmed her in a way that only he could by pressing his soft lips against her temple and gently stroking the length of her hair, muttering gentle compliments against her skin the entire time.

"I am 100% sure you didn't fail that final, I've heard you reciting literary nonsense in your sleep for the past two weeks. Even if you were distracted there's no way you could have failed."

Erin pouted, she was glad for the reassurance but her gut was telling her otherwise.

"And about your fight with...your boyfriend,"

Erin clamped up the moment he mentioned the fight. In her haste to tell him what was bothering her she had completely forgotten to censor herself, she didn't mean to mention that he was the cause of their fight.

"You know he's wrong, right? I mean I love you, you know I do but...I-....you're family it'd be weird to think of you in any other way." Sammy managed to crack a playful smile even though he was dead inside, those words pained him to say more than he thought but he couldn't bring himself to say anything else. He didn't want to sway her heart, not like this when she was vulnerable and troubled. Erin sniffled and nodded quickly, pretending to be relieved when he said the exact opposite of what she wanted to hear.

"That's what I told him," She said softly and pulled back from and made and effort to get off his lap, "Sorry for bombarding you like this, I just needed a hug." Erin chuckled and stood to her feet.

"I'll always be here to give you one" Sam replied and then neither of them spoke for a few seconds, staring each other down and holding their gaze like they both wanted to say something but in the end no one spoke up and Erin found herself awkwardly waving and walking away.

She slumped to the ground the second she closed the door behind her and Erin buried head between her knees, she had been trying to hold in the tears since Samuel held her but hearing him admit what she already feared was the final straw to break the dam of her tears. What started as a gentle stream soon evolved into a silent sob as Erin pressed her head backwards against the door in a shallow attempt to stop herself from violently weeping like a teenager. She already had suspicions that Sammy didn't feel the same way so why did this hurt so much? A part of her wanted to go back out to the living room, grab her roommate by the collar of his thin white t-shirt and explain to him that she believed that they were soul mates and they belonged together she didn't care if he saw it or not. But what would that prove? It would shake the foundations of their friendship and Erin wasn't so sure their relationship could handle such a blow.

Instead of mustering up courage Erin dragged her body towards her bed and pushed herself underneath the mess of clothes and blankets, hoping that tomorrow would be a better day.

#btsnoonanet #houseofddaeng #j hope fanfic #jimin fanfic #bts fic #bts scenarios #bngtanah #dbbg

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exhaustedfander · 4 years ago

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First Comes Love: Chapter Ten

Word Count: 3,262

a03 link

Link to previous story in the series: When is Enough Enough?

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / ?

Remus was sure an elaborate plan was going to come upon him anytime now. He’d been counting on it, praying for it, honestly. He’d been so confident of the party idea, but surely, he’d be able to conjure up something even better.

Except, maybe not.

The idea of asking Logan for his hand, while something he wished he’d already done, filled him with more anxiety than he’d been subject to in years. Proposing in a public setting was a no-go after last time; there was no way he’d get through it in one piece. Something small and intimate seemed nice. Proposing over candlelit dinner was always a trope he’d rather enjoyed, or on a moonlit walk through the park. He needed something cliché, something romantic, something that’d make Logan swoon.

But every time he so much as thought about getting down on one-knee, Remus felt like he couldn’t breathe. It didn’t make sense; he wanted this more than he’d ever wanted anything else in his life! He was determined to make Logan his for the rest of their lives, it was all that’d been on his mind for a month. So, why did this have to be so fucking hard?

At first, he’d told himself that it’d be wrong to do it right after his and Roman’s visit with Patton, considering the emotional intensity of the situation. But now it’d been two weeks since then, Patton was on the road to healing with Janus and the rest of his friends by his side as always, and he still hadn’t done it!

Remus knew their friends were waiting with baited breaths for the joyous news, and yet it hadn’t come. Beforehand, Remus had been positive he could do this. But now? The imperfections of fractions of plans seemed glaringly obvious. Nothing was good enough for Logan, nothing could possibly be worthy.

For the most part, Remus had been convinced the tensions between them had lifted to a degree. Remus was still wound up as tight as ever, of course, contemplating a proposal in nearly every waking moment, filled with an unheard-of amount of self-doubt. Logan had his moments of strain too, when he seemed a little more on edge than usual, a little tighter in embraces, a tad more distant. But Remus chalked it up to his own insecurities washing over everything else in his life, including his partner.

Remus had come so close that night, yet it was out of his reach in an instance. He was sure Logan was picking up on his tensity; he’d have to be an idiot not to, and Logan was no idiot. Still, he’d chosen not to say anything about it.

Remus found himself losing sleep over everything, tossing and turning, desperate to get those four little words out. He found little solace in slumber, dreaming extensively of his and Logan’s wedding, honeymoon, and montages of their life as a married couple. He was fairly sure there had been a dog involved in one of the dreams and that just made his heart ache.

He knew he was torturing himself more with each passing day, continuing to drive the nail further in, but he didn’t know how to stop it. Not when everything felt so jumbled, so inconsistent and imperfect.

Remus was no stranger to insecurity, but this was a beast he’d never gone up against until now. He’d never doubted every idea that came to mind, never beaten down every idea, believing it to be nothing more than unforgivably unacceptable. He’d gone into the idea of marrying Logan so headstrong but now everything was twisted and wrong, like a nightmare that wouldn’t let up no matter how many times he tried to wake up.

“Remus?”

Remus was startled from his now-constant stream of anxiety by Logan’s soft voice. He glanced around the darkened living room, vaguely aware that they’d been watching a movie together, though he was having a hard time remembering which one. Looking at the characters on the screen offered him little help, further expressing just how out of it he was.

“What’s up?” He asked, hoping he sounded something close to not entirely spaced out.

“What’s up?” Logan parroted, though he sounded far more concerned than annoyed, “Remus, you’re eyes have been glazed over the entire time, leading me to believe you aren’t paying any attention to the film,” – well, he was certainly right about that –, “You’ve been incredibly rigid and you have responded to very few of the comments I’ve made. Something’s obviously the matter.” Remus averted his eyes, despite how much more incriminating that might’ve seemed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

With a sigh, Logan paused the movie and rose from the couch to turn the lights off, no longer allowing darkness to shroud Remus’s insecurities. He sat back down, eyeing Remus carefully, who shuffled under his gaze.

“Love, I don’t know what you’re playing at. You and I both know you’re not one to lie.” Remus bit his lip.

“I’m not lying about anything.”

“You’re not telling me the truth, either,” Logan said, pinching his temple, “I’m not trying to antagonize you, Remus, I’m merely… concerned.” “Concerned” didn’t even begin to cover it.

While Logan had been going through his own panic and self-doubt for the last several weeks, which was to say an incredible amount of panic, he’d also picked up on Remus’s odd behavior that was getting more perplexing by the day. Usually, Remus was such a carefree, do now think later kind of a person. He was impulsive and wild, and free. Except… he hadn’t been acting that way at all, not lately.

He seemed to want to shrink down, rather than take up as much space as possible. Logan had heard that wonderous, bold, and crackling laugh less and less, something that he considered near criminal. Even in an embrace, Remus was too stiff, too solid. Logan had been too distracted with his own failings and self-pitying to pick up the initial signs of something being amiss, but now it was so obtrusive, so in Logan’s face that he had no choice but to challenge it.

“What’s there to be concerned about?” Remus had never been all that good at playing dumb, and this was no exception. Logan exhaled sharply.

“You’ve been acting different lately. Ever since the party and I…, I want to understand what’s going on. I can’t see what’s happening in your head, and I’m not always the best at picking up cues. So, please,” Logan said in a voice that was edging on desperation, taking Remus hand and finally meeting his eyes fully, “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“You’ve been acting weird too, y’ know,” Remus said, perhaps in an attempt to derail the conversation, he wasn’t entirely sure. All he knew was this was heading in a bad direction fast and he needed to stop it. The comment floored Logan, who for a moment, went quiet though his hand didn’t release its grip.

“I have?” Remus scoffed.

“Now who’s lying? C’mon, you know you’ve been being weird lately. Since… well, since the party, I guess? I dunno, you were being weird before that, too.” Logan shook his head, feeling his pulse jump.

“We’re not talking about me right now. We’re talking about you.” “Well, why can’t we talk about you?”

“Remus –.” “Seriously. You’ve been all awkward and stiff and I didn’t know what to say so I guess I just fucking didn’t but –.”

“Remus,” Logan interrupted, his tone thick with exhaustion. Remus promptly shut his mouth and Logan took a steadying breath. “Clearly, this isn’t getting us anywhere.”

“Yeah, maybe not,” Remus grumbled irritably. Logan took a steadying breath, doing his best to remain patient.

“I… I’m sorry. If I’ve come off as upset with you. I’m not. I just don’t understand what’s going on. I don’t like it when things don’t make sense. Things have felt strange ever since… well, ever since you started to deliver that speech.” Remus’s heart clenched in his chest.

“What speech?” He couldn’t stop the gears from turning in Logan’s head if he tried, and damnit was trying.

“Just before Patton got the phone call,” Logan said, sounding surer of himself with each word, “You let go of my hand, and you told me there was something you needed to say. The look in your eye, it was so serious. As if… as if you had something incredibly important to say to me. I can’t believe I didn’t ask you about it when we got home, it was just such an exhausting night, and the timing didn’t feel right but –.”

“Whoa, hey, I’d hardly call that a speech,” Remus interrupted quickly, his voice wavering, “I barely got a few words out. I-it could’ve been anything, who the hell knows what I was going to say!”

“But you do know, don’t you?” Logan asked, seeing the panic flickering in his boyfriend’s eyes, “You know exactly what you were going to say. You remember.”

“I… maybe?” The look Logan gave him could’ve split him in two. “Okay, fine, yeah! I know.” Terrible silence settled over the couple for a moment, tension weighing them down to a point where both were afraid to disrupt the fragile quiet. Then, after what felt like an eternity, Logan spoke.

“Won’t you tell me?” he asked, his voice sounding so reserved, so small. Remus bit his lip, seeing the desperation written all over Logan’s face, the deep need to understand what in the world was going on between them. Remus’s mind was teeming with every bit of insecurity that had been building up for the last few weeks, thinking of every possible way that things could go wrong, every way that this wasn’t at all what he’d envisioned for this moment. Except… amongst the chaos his mind had produced, there was Logan. Beautiful, wonderful Logan who just wanted things to be okay. And how could Remus blame him for a thing like that?

“Do you really want to know?” He found himself asking, despite the hesitations that tried everything to convince himself to dig his heels into the dirt and keep wallowing, keep pitying himself for not just fucking doing it. In the end, though, Logan’s vehement nod is all it took to convince Remus he didn't have any other choice.

“Okay. Shit – okay, alright,” he said, only somewhat frantically as he stood up from the couch. Logan tilted his head in confusion, and Remus might’ve compared the motion to that of a puppy if he wasn’t being pumped with so much anxiety, he was beginning to feel quite a bit like Virgil. “Wait right here for just a second. I’ll – I’ll be right back.”

Remus all but scurried into their bedroom, leaving an already disquieted Logan to stew in his worry for a little bit longer. Remus felt himself tremble as he knelt on his hands and knees and reached under the nightstand, pulling the ring box from its hiding place.

As he stood back up and shoved the object in his pocket, Remus allowed himself one, terrible, sobering moment of complete and utter panic. This wasn’t how he wanted to go about things, not at all. He wanted this to be perfect for Logan, he wanted to give him everything and anything that his heart desired. But even so, this was how things had played out and there was little that could be done to stop it. Additionally, he wasn’t sure how much longer he was going to be able to torture himself, and this was certainly a way to cease that.

So, he took a deep breath, and then a few more before he walked back into the living room, praying for something close to confidence.

“What were you doing in the bedroom?” Logan asked, looking uneasy, “Remus, what’s going on?”

Remus walked back to the sofa and stood beside his boyfriend. For the briefest instance, he took in the world that Logan’s eyes contained. All of the fear, all of the confusion and uncertainty, all of the love. He was sure he could look into those eyes for every minute of the rest of his life and still keep finding new things to love about them. A cosmos all his own, glittering with all the treasures of the night sky, constellations he knew he would always get to see, no matter the time of day.

“You’re right,” Remus began, not daring to tear his gaze from Logan’s eyes and knowing that despite his nerves, despite the panic and lack of a concrete plan that this was exactly what he was meant to do, “I know exactly what I wanted to say that night. And… well, I hadn’t planned on saying it now, but what am I if not impulsive, right?” Remus tacked on a chuckle, hoping it did something to mask the fear that dwelled within him.

“I –,” Logan hesitated, having been thrust into a moment of intimacy he mustn’t have been expecting. “Alright. Go ahead, love. I’m listening,” he said after a pause, looking more than a little panicked himself. That panic escalated tenfold when Remus got down on one knee. “R-Remus?”

“Logan, Dragonfly… I love you more than I thought I’d ever be able to love somebody,” Remus professed, feeling the tears beginning to well behind his eyes and thinking, briefly, of a time when he hadn’t been so ruled by his emotions, and what a dreadful time that had been, “You’re the smartest, hottest, most amazing, best man I’ve ever known. You’ve made my life better the moment you were in it and – and I don’t ever want to let go of that if I don’t have to. You – you make me better, and fuck, I hope you think I make you better, too.

“Before you, I didn’t know what it felt like to be truly, genuinely happy, but you’ve given me that. you’ve given me anything and everything I could ever dream of having, just by being you.”

Logan clamped a hand over his mouth, watching as Remus bared his heart and soul.

“I know a year really isn’t that long,” Remus continued with a watery laugh, “And I know this might seem fucking insane. But... I’ve never been so sure of anything in my goddamn life. I love you, Dragonfly, with the entirety of the heart I didn’t know I had. And I want to promise you anything you want. I’d give you the moon, I’d give you all the stars in the sky if I could.

“I can’t give you those things, no matter how much I want to,” he said, tears near their tipping point as he took a shuddery breath as he took the box from his pocket and popped it open, revealing a silver band set with a Safire,

“But I can promise to be yours. I can promise you a f-future, and I promise I’ll keep loving you with every bit of my wrenched soul. You’re the love of my life, Logan Sanders, and I want to give you forever, i-if you want it too,” he said, eyes burning with sincerity, “So, will you do me the utmost pleasure of allowing me to keep bothering you every day for the rest of our lives?"

For a moment, Logan was quiet, tears slipping underneath his glasses as he shivered, watching his boyfriend on one-knee in their living room before a single word made its way through the cacophony of his mind: “No.”

Logan was near-certain he saw Remus’s heart shatter into a million pieces. The hopeful, buoyant expression he’d been wearing just seconds ago is replaced with sullen, bitter heartbreak. He shut the ring box, getting up off the carpet.

“R-right – yeah. Okay, yeah, it’s too soon. I-I get that,” and the chuckle that bellows from him is positively grief-stricken, “I’m probably a fucking idiot for asking so soon.” The tears are slipping down Remus’s face and it’s so clear he was excepting an exuberant “Yes!” Was praying for it, at the very least. And then, finally, Logan snapped out of it.

“N-no!” Logan repeated, standing up from the couch and scrubbing at his face, his eyes darting around the room, “I mean – not no.” Despite everything, Remus dared to look hopeful again, if only for a moment.

“Not… not no?”

“No. I – I mean – wait right there!” Logan said before running into their bedroom. The door slammed against the wall as he bustled to the closet, quickly grabbing what he’s looking for before swiftly making his way back into the living room and showing Remus the box. For a moment Remus couldn’t believe what he was seeing, confusing it with some fantastical dream but it was real. Logan was really here, with a ring of his own, crying just the same.

“Oh,” Remus said, eyes going from Logan to the ring box in his hand, to Logan again, “Oh you’ve – you’ve gotta be shitting me. There’s – there’s no fucking way that we-we that we both –.” But there is a way, because here they were, standing staring at each other like they’re all they’d ever needed.

“I love you,” Logan said, opening the box and revealing the gold ring with emerald stone, Remus’s favorite color, “I wanted – that is to say, I’d been planning on a more romantic way of professing this –.”

“Me too,” Remus interrupted with a laugh, light and airy, “Me too, Dragonfly. I was going to –.”

“At the party?” Logan cut in, and Remus nodded with another laugh. Logan couldn’t help but laugh, too. “Me as well. That night, I – I was going to –.”

“Did you torture yourself after that, too?” Remus asked, and Logan nodded once more. “God, we’re such a fucking mess, huh? Our friends must hate us – they’ve all got to know.”

“I – I asked Virgil to host the party, so I could propose that night,” Logan admitted, earning a cackle from Remus.

“And I asked Roman to host a party that night so I could propose to you!”

“We’re significantly stupid,” Logan said, before realizing they’d been inching closer and closer to one another as well as the lovesickness in Remus’s eyes.

“So… I’m gonna go off on a limb and assume that’s a yes?” Remus asked, gesturing to the ring. Logan nodded quickly, tears plastered to his face as he collapsed into Remus’s arms and pulled him into a bruising kiss. The embrace was broken only in desperation for air.

“That’s a yes,” Logan whispered against his lips, biting down just slightly, earning a quiet moan in response. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” Logan punctuated each statement with a kiss, each lingering more than the last. The pair stumbled to slide the rings on each other’s fingers, laughing at the absurdity of it all the while before Remus found himself pinned to the couch, his arms pinned behind his back, and Logan kissing him senseless.

Sometime later, he’d search for his senses. Later, the reality that they were really engaged, and that they’d both proposed, would dawn. Later, he’d fully realize how stupid they’d both been acting for weeks, dancing around each other, when everything they’d feared was fiction and everything they’d hoped for was right in front of them.

But for now, Remus savored. For now, Remus prayed to be devoured, to be poured over with love, and passion, and praise. For now, Remus would love the man he’d chosen to marry every way he knew how.

=+=

Ho Boy we finally got to the proposals! I hope you enjoyed it because I certainly enjoyed writing it! But the story's not quite over yet *cough cough* I've just set us up for a bit of smut in the next chapter *cough cough* and there'll, of course, be a wedding and probably an epilog, if I'm honest. I already know I'm going to have a hard time saying goodbye to this story; I've been having so much fun with it. Have an absolutely wonderful day/night, I'll see you in the next chapter!

#intrulogical #romantic intrulogical #sanders sides #Thomas sanders #human au #Logan Sanders #Remus Sanders #Remus the duke Sanders #fluff #angst #angst/fluff #A hell of a lot of fluff #These two share one brain cell and that braincell goes 90% to their love for one another #They are dumb and gay because I say so #exhaustedfander #exahustededfander writes

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sudoscience · 4 years ago

Text

New In Town: Plot Outlines

Click here for a version with working hyperlinks.

I think I actually followed these pretty closely, so most of the commentary I'll add is going to be in the "Later Stuff" section.

Also, even though the end result will probably be pretty different from what's written here, it does include my plans for what's next. So, consider this a spoiler warning in case I do end up finishing the story.

Navigation:

Chapter 1 (Probably)

Chapter 2 (Probably)

Later Stuff

Master Post

Chapter 1 (Probably)

Rudy arrives in Hometown, and starts to settle into Arsenia's apartment. Seeing how bare it is, he decides to visit the florist whose shop he passed. Maybe he can send some flowers to Remkis, too. Asgore shocks Rudy by mentioning his adopted child Kris; Rudy didn't realize he was actually the second human to live in Hometown. Asgore tells Rudy that Kris hasn't been themselves lately, and he hopes Rudy can help Kris, even though Rudy is at least 10 years Kris's senior. As the only human in a town full of monsters, Kris has never really fit in, and their problems have only gotten worse following Asgore and Toriel's separation, and Asriel moving away to college. Rudy obviously knows something about being an outcast. Maybe he'll see the parallel between his relationship to Remkis and Kris's relationship with Asriel, too. Kris comes in briefly, but doesn't say anything. It's not clear if they even notice Rudy. They quickly leave, but not before Asgore hands them a floral arrangement for Toriel. Kris knows Toriel will just throw the flowers away as always, but they don't have the heart to tell their father this, nor do they want to tell their father that every time they go through this routine, it brings up the bad memories of when Asgore and Toriel first separated. [I don't think this part made it into the published chapter, since it's kind of hard to convey that information from Rudy's perspective.]

Rudy realizes he'll need a job, and asks Asgore if he knows anyone who's hiring. Asgore, being the fuzzy pushover that he is, hires Rudy on the spot, even though Rudy doesn't know the first thing about horticulture. Rudy probably needs a bit of time to think about this. He hasn't met Sans yet, but he would also probably hire Rudy pretty quickly if it meant less work for himself. Rudy would also probably have an easier time working a grocery store than a flower shop, but who knows if that's actually what Sans is doing. Asgore is taken aback by Rudy's deferral, but realizes the hastiness of his decision, and says Rudy can take as much time as he needs. Rudy eventually ends up working for Asgore when he learns that his shop is about to be foreclosed on. [Sans doesn't appear, but Rudy implies that he's familiar enough with him to know that he's lazy and likes puns. Also, Rudy doesn't end up officially taking the job until Chapter 2, and doesn't learn the store is insolvent until after accepting the job.]

Chapter 2 (Probably)

After briefly considering working for Sans, but deciding the skeleton is too weird, Rudy agrees to work for Asgore. Rudy doesn't yet realize that Asgore is flat broke and won't be able to pay him. Rudy is on register. It's a slow day, as most days are, but they eventually get their first customer. Maybe it's Noelle buying flowers for her dad, or maybe for Susie. Or maybe it's Comedian Dad buying flowers for his wife's grave. Whoever it is [Comedian Dad], Rudy tries to ring them up, but he doesn't know what to charge; Asgore has not written prices on any of his arrangements ("I guess that means it's free."). Rudy calls out for Asgore, but nobody came. [I really hope I remembered to include that line.] He goes upstairs and sees the note from C. Rudy makes up a price, and the customer agrees, after some haggling.

Asgore returns from wherever he was, and Rudy tells him about the customer. They get into an argument. Asgore knows his business model is unsustainable, but he doesn't want to upset his customers by charging them. Rudy reminds him that he's here for a paycheck. Asgore relents, but he's doubtful he'll make enough money to pay both Rudy and C.

[This is the main part I'm unsure about when it comes to this chapter. I know he's supposed to be a big fuzzy pushover, but I feel like it's not interesting if it's too easy for Rudy to convince Asgore. I don't want Rudy to be a Marty Stu, if you know what I mean.]

At some point, Kris enters. They're surprised to see Rudy, and perhaps a little amused. They know their dad won't be able to pay Rudy. Rudy asks Kris if they have any ideas to help Asgore's business; maybe Kris can draw some advertisements. Kris is dismissive of the idea that they could help. Asriel's the perfect one, so Rudy should ask him and leave Kris alone. Rudy senses the tension, but decides not to press the matter any further. He'll ask Asgore about it later, though. [Narrator: He didn't.]

Rudy begins to reconsider whether he made the right call working for Asgore. Asgore needs his help, but Rudy is going to need money at some point. Maybe he could be a delivery driver instead and work for tips ("Here's a tip: stay in school." "I have a bachelor's.") He decides to stick with it for the time being.

Later Stuff

Rudy helps Asgore get his shop in order, but it's not quite enough. He needs to convince C to keep giving Asgore mercy. Kris and Rudy don't actually get along that well, but Rudy keeps trying because he wants to help Asgore. Meanwhile, Arsenia gets caught using magic in Twin Falls. Word of her disappearance gets back to Rudy, who now has to decide if he's willing to go back on his decision to leave. He's never met Arsenia, barely knows her name, and only has a vague idea of what she looks like, but he has been living in her apartment for a while, and she's his best friend's cousin. Maybe Remkis calls him, and somehow tips Rudy off to the fact that Arsenia was using magic. Maybe Kris helps. Asriel and Susie probably show up at some point, too. [So, this will probably have to change, because I'm pretty sure I wrote it before I wrote the new background information. Like, if Arsenia actually manages to use magic, it would legitimately be a big fucking deal, because practically no one believes magic really exists (AEU members notwithstanding).]

[Also, one of the ideas I had was that, despite their best efforts, Flower King still goes out of business. I don't know what comes after that. Hopefully, it's something good, because that would be kind of a downer if the story ended there.]

I don't know, I haven't actually thought the plot out that far. I kinda think we'll just see how it goes.

One of the problems Rudy initially encounters is that many of Asgore's "customers" are reluctant to pay for the flowers, having grown accustomed to receiving them for free. A few of them are also uncomfortable with the fact that a human is the one asking them to pay. [This is basically Chapter 2, but I'm pretty sure I wrote this before I'd even finished writing Chapter 1.]

#New In Town #story notes #plot outline #deltarune fanfic

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smolbeandrabbles · 6 years ago

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Sway Pt. 6 - Danny Rayburn x Reader (Bloodline)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Here / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10

Authors Note: ‘Better At Being Who I Am’ (Jason Aldean) Is angst theme GOALS. Whilst I always look for lyrics to suit the overall chapter theme, I also like looking for quotes. Two from Bloodline in particular hit me hard during season one; so not only is this part based on them… But I will also be using them during the part… It’s a pretty heavy part, I interspersed some lighter moments, because it’s not always all bad… even when things aren’t going great for our boy…

I wanted to note this chapter takes place over a period of years and is kinda like... the “Lowlights” of those years.

Disclaimer: Direct Quotes from Bloodline season 1 episode 6 & 11 used! Vaguely in context…! This is where I change Canon a little. He is no longer in jail when the resturant burns down... Because I had this idea before I found that out and I didn’t want to change it.

“Okay. Try this. I don’t care about you. You don’t mean anything to me. And if I mean something to you… You mean less than nothing to me.” Danny Rayburn, Season 1, Episode 6.

“I don’t hate you! I could never hate you! That’s my Fucking problem!” John Rayburn, Season 1, Episode 11.

Premise: Danny was known to go off the rails, you thought you’d seen it all. Until the day his restaurant burned down…

Word Count: 9492 (oh yeah. The long haul.)

Warnings: This part is pretty angsty. Essentially it details where in your relationship / pre-to-the-series that Danny’s life starts to fall apart. Drinking/Underage Drinking/Drug Mis-use/Swearing/

What doesn't destroy you Leaves you broken instead Got a hole in my soul growing deeper and deeper And I can't take One more moment of this silence The loneliness is haunting me And the weight of the worlds getting harder to hold up

I'm not OK and it's not all right Won't you drag the lake and bring me home again

Who will fix me now? Dive in when I'm down? Save me from myself Don't let me drown Who will make me fight? Drag me out alive? Save me from myself Don't let me drown

'Cause you know that I can't do this on my own…

Danny’s Apartment, Miami - PM

Whilst Danny had told you he’d move in (Although, it had taken him about five minutes to actually talk in complete sentences) he’d always wanted to keep that little bit of just in case independence for himself. He told you this one morning over breakfast like it wasn’t a big deal – he was simply moving from his apartment into a newer one. “Oh really? Need help?” “Well. As you know the majority is in boxes. But I’d appreciate another car… Yeah.” “So where are you moving?” “First floor, one floor. Detached. Lot bigger. I was just thinking for Nolan, y’know… If he ever wants to come and stay… It’s a little better.” “I totally get it. AND I think it’s a great idea.” You understood Danny’s hesitancy of introducing Nolan to the apartment you lived in, judging on Danny’s own initial reactions. “Do you want to see it first?” “Danny…” You sighed, shaking your head “It’s your apartment! You go for it.” “Well, I want to know if I’m making the right choice.” “…What does your heart say?” “My heart…?” He looked at you questioningly but then changed his mind “…Says yes…” “Then your decision is made. I’ll see it, when I help you move in!”

You actually had a hard job of moving his boxes. Because your first night together came flooding back at everything you saw and everything you touched. This would be the final time.

Danny clearly couldn't care less - he was always in between with this place - now where he was couldn’t be clearer to him. But you were slow and careful with everything, and it didn't escape his notice. "What?" he walked past you with another box "I dunno I just... This is the first impression I really got of you..." "Yeah. I'd rather not think on that. It was such a great impression you didn't call me for two days. Heck if you hadn't been persuaded into my restaurant I'd still be waiting...!" "...But I was right." "Owww...!" his voice echoed down the stairs, making you laugh as you followed "Having said that... We really should have had one last night here. For old times sake..." he gave a shrug "just have to christen the new place instead." "Do you ever stop!" "When I think about you?" he paused for effect, to pretend he was doing just that "No." He pushed his fingers to his lips "Not really." You smacked his arm, before walking back upstairs "C'mon baby! With a body like yours!?! How can I not!!! That would be injustice!!" "Danny SHUT UP!!" you knew he'd said it louder just to catch the attention of everyone that might be within earshot. His grin told you that too. He followed you; “It’s literally the second thing we ever did. And it was YOUR idea. I'm the innocent party in this." "You knew what you were doing..." you swung around the door, now the place was almost bare it had more space than Danny had ever made it look like it did. "Yeah, well you're still here... Can you imagine if I didn't! Oh, man..." Even he had to hesitate as he looked at the last box. You watched him as he picked it up carefully, but stood for a good thirty seconds, before turning to you like he wasn't so sure what to do. You sighed;" Alright, give this place the send-off it deserves... Take me dancing." He smiled "in Little Havana?" "That exact dance floor." "I still get to take you back to the new place?" "Depends what the new place is like. Don't it." he remembered you hadn't seen it yet. "You'll like it. I've already started on fixing it up, see!!! Your boyfriend is just THAT considerate!" he gave a wink "Whatever he says..." you threw an arm around him "…I didn't spend nearly enough time here..." "Oh come on. You won't miss it and neither will I..." he puffed his cheeks "... I'll give it this. We started here. I guess I just never would have expected it to work out. Not this well." he tapped the wall "guess I owe it more than I realised!"

His new apartment was much bigger. Ground floor and light, with distinct rooms. You were impressed. Or you WERE impressed until you started staring at his decor. It wasn't even like he was trying to make it unnoticeable. About 2ft square the canvas was the only thing on his living room wall. This was the statement piece. Which, you wouldn't have minded. Were you not staring at yourself.

You weren't looking at the camera, but it was taken on your balcony. A bright summers day, you had a glass in your hand. By the dress you were wearing it had to have been a date... And it was recent telling by the 'D' around your neck. "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?!" "That is you..." he was nonchalant You pointed at it "Daniel Rayburn you take it down right now!!!! You are NOT keeping that up!!!" You were turning your usual shade of red. "it's damn huge...!! I don't want it there!!!" He scoffed; "Tough. My apartment and I want you on my wall!" "When the heck did you take it!?" "I take photographs all the time! Did you NEVER realise!?" "NO!!!" you were horrified, but it only made him chuckle. "That's probably good, Candids are the best... You look beautiful up there, what's wrong with you!? You ALWAYS look beautiful I had trouble with choosing just one...!" "Well, now I gotta put you up on my wall." Eye-for-an-eye style. If that was the plan, it didn’t work. Instead you were treated to another cheeky wink. “Well, I was beginning to wonder why I wasn't..."

It’d been a few years since that day. And in those intervening years much had happened... Too much... Some of which you’d rather forget.

Beth’s Apartment, Miami - Late AM

You pulled your car up to Beth’s apartment and rested your head on the steering wheel for a moment. Danny, what the hell did you get yourself into!? What the hell did you get ME into!? Beth was nice and all – she’d called you to help Danny out more than once; which had quickly made you see why Danny didn’t want you at a lot of the parties he attended - but she didn’t particularly sound pleased with you. You knew whatever it was was Danny’s fault and she couldn’t tell you over the phone, but she was certainly angry and nothing would do other than you driving out here to pick him up. You hopped out of your car and ascended to her apartment. You barely got to knock before she wrenched it open – she certainly looked angry. And you, without context weren’t exactly sure how to react; “Hi Be-” “Do you have ANY idea what your JACKASS of a boyfriend has just put me through!?!” Oh dear… “No. What’s he done?” “I just had to BAIL him from JAIL. BAIL HIM. ME!!” You furrowed your eyebrows together “…And I can pay you back…Beth, I’m sorry I don’t know why he wouldn’t…” You fished your phone out of your bag in preparation to transfer her the amount “I DAMN WELL DO!!” She stopped yelling at the expression on your face and took a deep breath, still sounding angry, she put her hands to her head “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be yelling at you… I just…” she folded her arms; “He won’t list you, Ms.Ervin because if it gets back to your family or leaks to the press that the daughter of Jack Ervin is dating the guy that held up a drug store with a gun and then was caught selling and in possession of said drugs, he knows he’ll fuck everything up.” You knew your mouth was hanging open; “He WHAT!?” “That’s what they told me!” “God, Danny!!!” You placed a hand to your forehead “Geez… Beth, I’m sorry… How much do I owe you.” “…It’s not even about the money, Y/N… He better damn well pay you back.” She told you the figure and you shook your head “You didn’t have to do this…” You handed your phone over after typing out an almost eyewatering $8500 “…It’ll transfer instantly.” “I couldn’t just leave him there… He’d get stuck in the system… I mean, even I know he’s been through enough… Then what about you?” “Next time, just call me and I’ll go down.” “Well, we both better hope for his sake there isn’t a next time.” She took the phone from you apologetically as she typed her account in; “He’s still here?” “Yeah. I’m not letting him walk out there alone…” she opened her door, “C’mon.” Danny was sitting with his head between his legs and his hands over his face, Beth kicked his foot. “Time to go, Rayburn! Get out of my house.” He looked up to voice the obvious question, when he spotted you and his face almost went white. He turned to her again; “YOU CALLED HER!?!” “Of COURSE I called her!!” “I told you NOT to call her!!” “Well who else was going to come get you Danny!? Hmm? No way after that you are going home alone.” She pushed his back to get him to stand himself; “Now go home!” She wandered into the back of her apartment “Also! You owe your girlfriend the bail money she just paid me! Do not screw this one up!!!” He was silent as his eyes followed her and then he turned back to you. You weren’t intent on staying very long, standing in the doorway you flicked your head and walked outside. He scrambled to follow you; “Y/N! Y/N! It’s not what you…! God, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry..!” You stopped on the stairs and turned to him, you didn’t feel angry but knew you looked it at the way he stopped. “Danny. I don’t want to hear it. I just want to get you home.”

He slumped into the passenger seat and chewed his lip. You took a deep breath and started the engine. You didn’t like it when Danny got quiet – it meant he was calculating, it meant he was upset or worse... And you knew which one it was. “…Can I light up.” “NO.” “Y/N…” “NO! Danny, when has it ever been OKAY to smoke in my car!” “But I really need to-!” “NO. Don’t push it! Ok?!” He got quiet again and just stared out of the window. Fidgeting the whole way with the pack of cigarettes, he tapped his foot to a beat that wasn’t there... Truth was you weren’t exactly sure what to say to him – what he’d done was serious, and he clearly wasn’t blameless. You just wondered how in the hell he’d gotten himself into it. You wanted answers, but he was hurting, and that hurt you. You rolled the 4 x 4 into your parking spot after what felt like hours but was barely a 30-minute drive. You both sat in silence for a moment… You were staring out of your own window, before you took up the same position against your wheel again. Why? He noticed this and turned to you; “Y/N…” When you didn’t respond he tried again; “I know… I fucked up. Like I seriously fucked up. I get it… And I’m sorry… I’m really sorry… and you have, every, right to be mad at me… And I don’t… Well, I guess the problem is I DID know what I was thinking but I… I wanted to protect you from… This whole… God… I’m such a mess…” He sighed and opened his car door; “…Okay, you know what, you’re right. You don’t want to hear it and you don’t need this. Lemmie just call a cab, and I’ll get back to my apartment-” You moved, grabbing his hand as he was half way out of the vehicle; “You are NOT going anywhere. Danny Rayburn.” You shook your head “Yeah. You probably did fuck up. Considering what Beth told me. But don’t you DARE think about walking out of here.” You took his hand again and held it firmly upon exiting your vehicle. Pulling him through the security door and across the lobby to the lift bank; “If this ever happens again will you PLEASE call me?” “It wasn’t even supposed to go down like this…” The lift pinged and you both entered, as you pressed the button to your floor; “So you weren’t meant to get caught. Danny, that doesn’t make robbing the damn store in the first place alright!!!” “I know, and I’m sorry!” “You don’t have to say sorry to me. I’m not mad at you!!” Well, maybe you were a little “…I’m frustrated. You have Nolan, you have your restaurant, you have me!! You don’t need to do this!” “I told you, that restaurant does not pay all the bills.” He owed people, that’s what he was telling you, without saying it. “Danny, look at my family! LOOK at me!! TRUST me, you do not need to go anywhere else for money.” “NO! I can’t take it from you! Or your family!” “It’d be a loan, it’d be fine!” “NO.” He’d point blank refused to let you help out before, but honestly, if he was going to make money illegally you didn’t know why he was being so stubborn about this. Getting into debt with your parents, or you, would not be the same as falling in with bad people. You opened your apartment door and pointed to the balcony; “Now, you can light up… Just… give me a second…” He watched you go… then crossed your kitchen and living room, sliding open the balcony door – he pulled a cigarette from the pack and flicked the lighter taking a drag. Were you mad at him? You said you weren’t. But you looked mad, or maybe you looked hurt. Or maybe both… He could understand why you would be both. He was nearly two cigarettes down when you joined him outside. You pressed your hands into the metal railing and the wind played with your hair as you stared out towards the ocean. He took another drag of his cigarette before he turned to you… Then he stopped and squinted; “…Oh…Oh…Darlin’…” He closed the few steps between you “…Have you been cryin’?” You didn’t answer, so he reached out and turned your face towards him; “God… I’m so sorry…” Just how many times was he going to say that line? You shook your head, dipping from his line of sight, and pulled him close to you; “Do you have ANY idea what could have happened if it had gone wrong!? Danny… Don’t you EVER do something like this again…” “…I promise…” He whispered it softly, “Baby, I promise…” The last thing Danny Rayburn ever wanted was to make you cry… You squeezed him tighter to you, so you could feel that calm and steady heartbeat of his reverberate through your body, then you let him go, gently. Wiping your eyes, you looked into his. “I love you… Danny. I love you. But sometimes, the people you hang out with… some of the things you do. Baby, you scare me…” You shook your head gently, “Please… Stop…” He pondered your words for a moment, taking another drag from his cigarette, but he knew he wasn’t sure what to say. “I feel like I knew that….” And he was sure he did “…I’m sorry… I’m not thinkin’ and I think you know that… But, I’ma try… for you… and for Nolan. Ok?” You nodded, you knew Danny was better than this. But it was a long hard road for him – you just wanted to see him right on it. “Okay…” You leant up to kiss him, and he accepted by kissing you back. “I love you, too…” This time when he pressed his cigarette to his lips his look was sincere. And you knew he meant it. REALLY meant it.

Danny’s Apartment / Miami Coast Line - Noon/Late

You sung along to your radio all the way to Danny’s apartment. It wasn’t often he insisted staying in his own, he just still wasn’t ready to introduce Nolan to yours yet. It made sense, Nolan was a young impressionable teen… Danny was intent on making the best impression. You were dancing in the front seat, windows down, music blasting – shades on. It was nearly mid-day and the sun was high but the breeze off the water today was cool. You turned into the apartment complex and rolled to a stop. Even with the radio off you were still humming along as you stepped out of the car. And you realised you had until you walked up to Danny’s front door to decide on something for you all to do today… Well. There was always the boat… Maybe not the one you’d taken Danny on though… too many memories completely inappropriate to be reminded of around his teenage son. You shouldered your bag and pushed your shades into your hair. By the time you’d looked up you realised they were both already outside… Geez, give a girl a minute…! You began walking up the path, and opened your mouth to greet Nolan. Then stopped when you realised that he wasn’t smiling as he started down the path towards you; “Hey…You, okay?” He barely stopped “No.” “…Nolan!” “No, you know what it’s fine!” “Where are you--!?” “Anywhere else!” He yelled, taking off down the sidewalk. You looked on after him, for a few seconds before turning to Danny, who was standing in the door arms folded; you pointed behind you – “What…?” “It doesn’t matter.” “Doesn’t!?” You turned back to Nolan, now nearly half way down the street “DANNY! Did you guys have an argument?!” You checked your watch, “You can’t have been back from the restaurant 20 minutes! What happened!” “Y/N – It doesn’t matter.” “Of course it matters!” “Why?” He gave a nonchalant shrug, “He’s made it perfectly clear he doesn’t want to see me.” He closed the door behind him and shuffled down the path to you. You looked to him, “But we were gonna…” “Yeah, well. Not anymore. Just let him go.” “You don’t mean that…” You could see he was trying to keep his face from betraying him “…Danny… you don’t…” You turned back to Nolan, “Oh. Geez…! NOLAN WAIT!!” You ran back down the path; “What the hell are you doing!?” Danny called after you, making you turn back; “I won’t watch your son walk away from you Danny. I can’t…!” For one, you knew it would break your heart. You had to run to catch up with him; “Nolan! Nolan… wait up…” It was almost a surprise that he did in fact stop and turn as you jogged to a stop; “…I don’t need to know what it was about…” You held your hands up “Hell, I know – but equally I know I don’t know…!” Danny could be difficult, and you couldn’t fathom what his relationship with Nolan really was. Danny wanted to pour as much into Nolan as he did keep him at arm’s length. It hurt the teen more than Danny thought it did. “…Look, I wanted this to be a good day for you… So… If you want to do something… We can just… I’d just... Really appreciate it if you didn’t leave.” “…He doesn’t care.” “No, he only acts that way. And it’s a dumb way to act… He’s good at pushing people away when he cares… It’s a constant uphill battle. You shouldn’t have to fight it…” you threw your arms as if to say hell if you could ever understand Danny Rayburn “… The problem is having to accept we do. Look, I got a good plan going… And I’d like you to be part of it. But, only if you want to sweetie.” You really really liked Nolan. You weren’t about to watch Danny waste this. He huffed and folded his arms too, looking away from you and thinking on it for far longer than he had spent making up his mind; a typical teenager. “Does he have to come?” You laughed, “Just push him off the Yacht, you’ll feel better. Honest.” You turned back to unlock your car that Danny was now leaning against, watching you both shyly. “Sorry!? Did you just say Yacht!?” Nolan then jogged to keep up with you “You have a yacht!? Awesome!” And it almost sounded genuine. “Can I leave you two alone for five minutes without you wanting to walk all the way back. Because you will be walking from here…” Your question was more directed at Danny, and you only received a half nod. Neither of them had spoken more than about two words yet. You’d rectify that. You were determined to rectify that. You left the car, hopeful it might give them some time to cool off and apologise for whatever... But fully expecting to see your dad’s assistant greeting you with keys, you were surprised to discover that it was him. “Papa?!” “I’m only working on the waterfront,” He pointed in an unclear direction; “thought I’d come see your boys.” “I left them in the car!” You indicated behind you “but I’ll go get ‘em...” “I’ll meet you down there!” He was already walking down the pier. You shook your head, it was all men... you were pretty sure. ALL of them were like this! You wandered back to your 4x4; it still didn’t look like they were talking... “Okay, out you get. Dad is here. Best behaviour.” Today was obviously going to be like having two kids, rather than your boyfriend and his teenage son.

They walked apart down nearly the entire pier... you wondered if it was more a game of who could hold out the longest without apologising. Honestly! They both instantly changed their attitudes as your dad stepped off the smaller vessel. “Jack!” “Danny! A pleasure as always! Nolan!! Great to see you!” He gave Danny a firm handshake, but went for a full hug with Nolan. When you first told your parents about Nolan you were wondering what they would say. At that point you shouldn’t have been surprised by their surprise reaction. You guessed it might be because they had expected a man of Danny’s age to have been in a serious relationship, or married, before. Certainly the kind of relationship where children was plausible. Of course their first reaction was, how did you feel about that and then, seen as you were totally cool with it (obviously), when they would get to meet him. Since then, your parents had invited Danny and Nolan to dinner on numerous occasions, and included Nolan in any family event. If Danny was family to them, it was only natural that Nolan would be too.

You left them to chat with your dad as you checked the boat was ready to go. Considerably smaller than the yacht it was moored next to, your dad had already seen to nearly all preparations in the time it had taken you to walk here. Your dad turned back to you “Sure you’re okay with how fast this thing goes?!” Oh here we go... if he could get a dig in at the first few times you’d been out, when he was trying to teach you how to drive NO less!!, then he would. You wondered how it had factored into the conversation this time... “I’ll be okay. It’s been a while since...!” “I’m only saying you got a couple of strong men here... one of which can actually drive a boat.” You let out a sigh, and heard both Danny and Nolan laugh. “If I can steer the other one, this’ll be just fine.” “Yeah I’m glad I got her back in one piece.” “Guess you’ll be thanking Danny for that too, huh?” You and your father both folded your arms defiantly “Yeah. He’s a good man. I’m only worried about the speed.” “I know what I’m doing.” “My red tape mark says otherwise.” This was leaving the other two cracking up. “... Oh my god... you are kidding!!!” You turned around to check; sure enough, your father had taped back the little marker he used for the top speed you were allowed to go. Back in your teens. You were sure that was just for Danny and Nolan’s entertainment. “Now you boys take care of her alright, make sure she doesn’t go too fast! And not a shade over that line!” Still chuckling they both boarded; “Don’t worry Mr.Ervin we won’t!” “We’ll have her back with you this evening. Say 9?” “Woah. Danny... 8:30, don’t go getting ahead of yourself.” Finally you could laugh at someone else. “Estrellita, no staying at the houses of other men tonight!!” He winked “... You’re lucky I trust you with this one!” “I’m in good hands dad don’t worry!” “Oh I know! I wouldn’t trust just anyone with you!” He had a sincerity that you could tell hit both Danny AND Nolan hard. Your dad held out the keys, “So? Who is getting these.” You pointed to Danny “As you’re so confident in the Rayburn’s.” Danny opened his mouth to protest but missed his chance as Jack chucked him the keys. “Be careful with her!” “I’ll get it back in one piece, Sir...” Your father chuckled, unmooring the boat “Not what I meant...!”

Danny made sure the boat ran smoothly as he headed out across the stretch of water; “You just wanna head out anywhere...” He was clearly addressing you, as you watched the Miami skyline unfurl in front of you. Nolan was at the other end of the vessel running his hands through the sea. You stood and crossed to Danny “Uh... I didn’t have a place in mind... I wasn’t going to take him where we were last time, if that’s what you mean...” “Okay...” he checked the gauges; “I’ll take her a few more miles...” you were still looking to Nolan “I’ll do it.” “What?” He turned his attention to you “Why?” You nodded back towards his son; “I don’t care what happened, but one of you needs to be the bigger man.” “Me?!” “You’re his father, Danny, yes you!” He sighed and gave you something close to a pout; “So you think this is my fault?!” “NO! I didn’t say that. I’m trying to fix it. Go... Go on…” you pushed him gently “I got this. Just... talk to him!!”

You took the boat another few miles out and let her coast perpendicular to South Beach. When you turned back they were at least talking. Both of them hunched over the side and mumbling, looking back towards the city. You left them for a little while, going through what exactly your dad had decided to ‘get ready’... The cooler was a good indication of what he thought the day would entail. You opened it; breathing a sigh of relief when you realise that he remembered Nolan was underage. You guessed as it would just be an afternoon trip you didn’t need anything more than a few good drinks. You pulled one out and popped the top. The sound made both of them turn towards you. “Oh. I notice you heard that!” Danny pointed at you, “That better be alcohol!!” “NO! It’s soda! I don’t want to be the bad influence on this one!” You took a sip, indicating to Nolan; “Aw c’mon Y/N - you really think YOU’RE the bad influence here?!” Nolan looked between you and Danny a few times before Danny realised what he was doing; “Hey-!” You both laughed at that. “But there is alcohol in there, right?!” “Looks like...” “Excellente!” Danny stood and opened the cooler up; before you realised what was going on, he had handed Nolan a bottle. Nolan thanked his father, but you weren’t so keen “Uh! That better be Non-Alcoholic young man!” He hesitated, making Danny laugh; “Aw, C’mon! Like you didn’t do a little underage drinking!” “Yeah – My parents didn’t condone it!” “His mom’s not here!” Nolan took a sip with a laugh, making you cover your eyes “Oh God! I’m not seeing this!!” “Go into international waters! You’ll be fine!” “NO! That might get me in even MORE trouble!”

“Nolan you know how to drive one of these right?!” “What?!” He looked to you, “He doesn’t. But no time like the present.” Danny took a gulp of beer. “I was gonna say, my dad put that marker on as a joke but it’s a good little marker for beginners...” “Are you serious?!?” Nolan jumped out of his seat; “You got a good teacher. I’m not too bad either.” You laughed, realising Danny was referencing you. “Oh. No. Rayburn, he’s your son!!” “Yeah alright, Ervin. Then we’ll do this together...!” “He doesn’t need my bad habits!” “At least you admit you have them!” Danny beckoned Nolan over; “C’mon. I’m sure she’ll help get the basics down...!”

You observed the hysterical exchanges going on between Nolan and Danny the whole way back to port. Glad that now they were at least laughing in each other’s company. As you watched them, framed by the boat, the water, the Miami skyline, you knew perfectly well you could stay here forever. It might not have been that kind of family… But you were a family none the less… You loved them both. Truly, you knew what you already knew. This would be long haul. Ride or die. All or nothing.

Viva Caputa, Miami - PM

You wanted to be in that restaurant. When Danny told you he was doing this you wanted nothing more than to be there. He forbid it. You absolutely were NOT setting foot in that restaurant today under any circumstances. And you continued this back-and-forth until he pulled up outside; “You should let me.” “No. Absolutely not.” “Why?! Are you scared of what I’m going to say to him?!” “I kinda am. Yeah.” You folds your arms to prove your point “You don’t think I’m scared of what he’s gonna say to you?!” No dice though. So in the car you stayed.

This was the most nerve wreaking hour of your life. Part of you thought about defying Danny and just heading into the restaurant anyway... or sneaking in to listen to the conversation. But you knew you would be betraying Danny’s trust, and you knew Robert. If he said anything, no matter how small or veiled, you wouldn’t be able to contain yourself and then there would be problems.

Eventually, Nolan wandered out of the restaurant and to the car. You raised an eyebrow; “What’s going on?” Nolan shrugged; “He told me to wait in the car...” You tapped your fingernails on the dashboard “...Robert has NO idea I’m here does he.” “Nope.” You shook your head, staring back at the door from the window... “What did you think?” “Of Robert...? He’s uh... okay, I guess. I mean, I thanked him... He doesn’t need to send money every month.” You opened your mouth and then decided to hold your tongue. Nolan was right, you guessed, but he was also their Grandson... and if they knew about him they should have been doing a lot damn more than sending money each month. It was another while later that Danny and Robert exited the restaurant. They said goodbye like strangers, and went separate ways... you figured this couldn’t be good. Danny took a deep breath before he opened the car door; “Alright. Let’s go.” “Did it go okay?” “It went Ok.” But he didn’t look at you, and his voice was level. Something was clearly off, because of Danny had got what he wanted he’d be running his mouth. You let it go, if only for Nolan’s sake. Danny started the engine and turned back to Nolan “Thank you for doing this...” “No problem dad! It was kinda good to meet him.” You watched Danny carefully, but he was being just as careful not to show anything on his face... “Yeah... you’re right...” The drive back to Nolan and Eve’s was quiet. Each of you preoccupied with your own thoughts. You clearly desperate to say something and Danny swearing you to silence with his body language alone. Nolan hopefully none the wiser... but he was a smart kid, so he probably figured something was going on.

You only opened your mouth once Danny pulled away from the curb; “Tell me what happened.” He released the breath he’d been holding waiting for you to say it; “With Nolan he was actually quite amicable. Which I’m glad of... because the last thing I want is him to cause my kid any problems... with me? Well... You know my dad.” “Danny...” you shook your head “...So he said no?” “Not exactly.” “Baby it’s clear he didn’t say yes...” Danny shook his head “No. He made me chose.” “What?!” “Money for the restaurant. Or the money he provides for Nolan.” You were almost speechless. That money was hush money for a start, and seen as Danny had already confessed to you his parents tried to stop Nolan from ever happening, it made you even more angry. Robert was making Danny choose between arguably his greatest achievement and his dream. You weren’t having it. “And?” He gave a half laugh “I chose Nolan. No question.” You were grateful. But it was also clear Danny had no other choice. That didn’t stop you from being pissed that after all Danny’s hard work and what he had to show for it his family still treated him SO badly. It was horrific for you to think that after everything Danny still literally couldn’t do anything right in the eyes of his own family. And you damned every single one of them.

“Danny... that’s just... absolutely... your family, your parents, are just despicable...” He knew there was more to your statement than just this single event. Suddenly you realised this has nothing to do with Sarah, Sarah was an excuse. Sarah was long in the past… Danny had made mistakes (with no wonder WHY!!) and you’d seen them. But to tear him down when he’d done all this ALONE was the most heart-breaking thing. It was sick and to your horror you knew it’s never going to stop. It should have ended on his accomplishment with the restaurant alone. Danny had bet on himself and STILL... it was obvious to you now if it wasn’t clear before; HE was too good for them. He just gave a helpless shrug “What can I do about it?” He laughed “He actually asked me to go to my siblings! Can you believe that?! Meg and Kevin - I don’t think so... and John? He’s given me enough... he’s a better big brother than I am...” You folded your arms; “Screw it. Danny you don’t need them...” shaking your head you looked out the window again “You know I’m so angry that I don’t even know what to say but I just can’t shut up!!” He laughed; “Exactly why you being there would not have been a good idea...” “How are my parents friends with yours?!” “Oh yeah cuz this is the exterior my dad gives off...” he waved his hand “... what do your parents know.” “What I know is that my parents are better parents to you than your own.” He tipped his head “That’s not untrue... they certainly treat Nolan like family.” “Well then.” You ran your hands through you hair and breathed out “Danny I’m sorry.” “You keep sayin’ that... but you can’t change them. Or the past.” “If they continue to use what happened as an excuse... then I think it’s them that needs to change.” You placed your hand over his on the wheel “You’ve done enough. And you have so much more to show for it than them. And More importantly Danny. You’re a better person, and they can’t ever take that from you.” He lifted your hand to his lips and kissed your knuckles, mumbling against your skin “…That’s why I have you…”

Viva Caputa, Miami - AM Your phone rang in the middle of an important work meeting. Buzzing loudly against the table you picked it up so not to disturb your colleagues train of thought. Catching a glimpse of the caller, however, made you stop in your tracks. He barely ever called you when you were working. And never on your work phone. “Sorry. I have to take this!” Your boss waved you out, understanding, and you picked up on the final ring which clearly didn't help whatever the situation was; “Dan-” you barely got his name out, “Y/N..! Oh T-thank God-I- I...” He sounded panicked and he was most certainly in tears. “My God... Danny what's wrong??” “Just... G-Get down here. Please.” “To the restaurant? Danny are you okay?” “No... Just... Please hurry.” With that he hung up, and his panic transferred to you. But now was not a time to panic. You tapped on the door to beckon Rich over, “Is everything okay?” “No. Danny doesn't call at work and not on this number ever. Somethings going on... I need to go...” He smiled “Take all the time you need, take the rest of the day at home. We'll be fine.' “You sure?” “You know this back to front. Go...! If he needs you, go!”

You drove as fast as the limit and traffic conditions let you, but a few blocks out you could see the smoke rising. No, please God no... As you got even closer water was running all over the street from the fire trucks present. And you couldn't park up fast enough. When you found him he was sitting in the middle of the parking lot, his legs crossed. Staring at the restaurant but not seeing it. He had a pack of cigarettes and his lighter in front of him, but it was like he couldn't even bring himself to calm down yet. You ran across the lot then slowed as you reached him, without hesitation you crouched to his level and threw your arms around him. “I'm sorry... I'm so, so, so sorry” You were crying too now. This was Danny's life. And it'd just gone up in flames like everything else. Eventually he responded, winding his arms tightly around you as you both sat crying in the parking lot. He was broken enough, he didn't need this, and he certainly didn't need to say anything.

It was early, and there was no-one here yet. But as people turned up for their shifts you decided to start directing them back home. Only Javier and Jason stayed. They were clearly concerned for their friend, but you kept them down the other end of the lot; “Is he gonna be OK?” Jason peered around you. Danny was still sitting in the same position you'd left him in. “I don't think it's even registered yet...” You shook your head “he's in shock. God knows what I tell Nolan...” Javier frowned “Wasn’t this Danny's life? Geez after the remodel we just went through... I feel terrible.” He was right. And Danny still owed a lot of money for that loan. You turned to them both; “You better get off home… I got him… Thank you… For staying.” “If you need anything…” Jason put his hand on your shoulder, sincere “ANYTHING. Help with Danny or… CALL me. CALL us.” You nodded, grateful and thinking you might need it before the week was out. “Thank you. Both of you…”

“Danny...” You sank back down to the floor “Danny, sweetheart we need to go... we need to let them finish up here... Baby, there’s nothing we can do...” “Y/N! N-No-! Just-! Please!” You picked him up off the floor, and he was only a little reluctant to let you tug his arm around your shoulders. You gathered the cigarettes he still hadn’t touched; “Baby, please... let me take you home...” You almost had to drag him back to the car and help him into the front seat. He still wasn’t entirely in the moment and aware of the situation... You’d done all you could here and you couldn’t watch him sit there and suffer anymore. You placed his things in his lap and wandered back around to your side. Without daring to look back at the restaurant once, you started the engine and pulled away.

So as to keep Danny moving, you took the long scenic route back to your apartment. You wanted to keep him lucid, but knew half of what you were talking was nonsense. You were talking at him and not to him... He kept flicking his lighter, back and forth, staring hard at your dashboard... You guessed it was a blessing that he hadn’t told you to shut up yet, because you needed to talk... Eventually, you ran out of things to say but you were still driving. He was still playing with his Lighter... You sighed and slowed your car down... Leaning across him you wound down his window. Danny only moved to steady the wheel for you, you sat up, looking across to him. “If you’re gonna do it... Danny...” you nodded to the window, “Please do...” He looked back to you. Danny smoked sometimes to relieve tension. You’d seen him do it to stop himself arguing, as much as he did when he had finished an argument. Of course, he smoked a lot anyway but this was another one of his ticks... He pulled one out of the pack and held it delicately between his lips. Looking across to you again, his eyes gave his question for him. Signalling you could back out. You wouldn’t. This once, you wouldn’t. When you didn’t respond he flicked his lighter and lit up. It was a long drag, and the sigh he made when he breathed out was the unhappiest you’d heard Danny in a while. **

Your Apartment, Uptown Miami - AM

About a week past where nothing really happened. Danny became quiet, withdrawn and didn’t have much of an appetite to do anything. You guessed that was better than him going and getting himself thrown in jail again. Still, that didn’t stop you from worrying all day when you departed in the morning only to come back to find him in exactly the same place you’d left him – wondering if he’d moved at all during the day. Every time you tried to broach the subject of fronting any money for him to rebuild he wasn’t having it. And you stopped trying when he seemed to only get angry about it, rather than politely saying no.

This weekend was another when you would be seeing Nolan, though. And you thought it might cheer him up. Apparently no such luck, at least not this morning. You wrapped your arms around him and kissed his shoulder; “We’re meant to pick Nolan up… you know?” “…Hmm…” That was close enough to acknowledgement “…So…Are you coming?” “…No…” You guessed it was an actual word “Baby, why not?” “…NO…” You sighed; “Well, you’re gonna be alright when he gets here, right…?” You propped yourself up on your elbow to look at him properly, he just continued staring at the wall. And for once you’d give anything to know what was going on behind those eyes. “…Yeah…Go get him.” It didn’t sound at all convincing, but you knew it would be on Danny if no one turned up for his kid. Eve was pretty much always on the edge of ‘just had it’ with Danny as it was. Better not to make her that way with you too. You dressed and got ready quickly, turning as you went to shut the bedroom door behind you; “I’ll be back within the hour, okay?” “Ok…” “Danny…” “Yes?” “I love you.” “Hm.” You shook your head. If he wasn’t going to play ball you’d just have to do something with Nolan yourself. You closed the door behind you and ran to catch the lift down to the parking lot.

“Hey!” “…Where’s dad?” “Let’s not even go there…” You waved to Eve from your driver’s seat, she smiled and waved enthusiastically back. “…We will have to see when we get back to mine.” “Oh. Well. Shit.” Nolan opened the car door, and also waving to his mom, belting himself in as you pulled away from the curb. “That sums it up yeah…” “He’s really that bad!?” “…I dunno… He’s not really… Talking. That worries me only because he talks about everything…” “I can’t imagine that.” “Yeah…” You agreed with a laugh, “You’d think it’d be okay. It is, for the first hour.” You sighed “Anyway, plans for today?” “Won’t it depend on him?” “No! If he’s not gonna come out I’m determined to take you out somewhere…” “Surprise me.” “…Fine! How’d you feel about ice-cream?” “What?” He had an edge to his voice that let you know he thought you were treating him like 6 of his 16 years. “…That’s a clear No.” “I didn’t say that!” “There’s a great little homemade ice-cream bar I know down by South Beach… Puerto Rican… You can practice your Spanish on someone who isn’t me. I haven’t even taken Danny yet so…” “Yeah… sure…” You liked that he sounded at least curious. If Nolan was to give anyone any of his teenage attitude he never gave it to you. You unlocked the door to your apartment and stepped in. Within 5 seconds, and horrified, you attempted to usher Nolan out and close the door on him before he could walk in. In vain; the kid was strong. “…Is that…?” He didn’t dare voice it either. “Shit! Danny!!” Your alcohol cupboard was also open. A half-finished bottle of vodka stood on the counter. The bottle next to it, you couldn’t read the label of, was tipped on its side and clearly finished. Across your kitchen counter, however, was a line of white powder that you weren’t stupid enough to think was sugar. Drinking was one thing, illegal substances in your apartment was quite another. What do you even do about that!?! You placed your hands against your head trying to think quickly, until there was a crash from your bedroom. At least he hadn’t left. Nolan took a step forward but you pushed him back; “NO. No, no. I got this.” “Y/N..! Do you think that’s a good idea!?” He indicated to the counter. “…If he’s high and drinking then yeah, it is. Wait here.” You crept up the corridor, knocking gently on your bedroom door - your heart was racing. When you didn’t receive a response you opened it carefully. Danny was sitting on the end of your bed, head in his hands. Amazingly the room didn’t look out of place, until you glanced to the wall, whatever liquid was in the glass was now running down it, the remains of the tumbler was shattered and covered the floor. You kicked the door to with the back of your heel; “…Danny?” Dammit, you couldn’t have hated yourself more for the timid nature of your voice. He didn’t look up “…Danny.” You tried again, a little more confident “…Baby… What…?” He groaned “Just. Leave.” “What!?” This was your apartment. And you weren’t about to leave him alone with drink AND drugs “No- What?! I’m not just gonna leave!” He made a sound like he was angry and looked at you; “GO! GET OUT!” You weren’t sure you liked his tone of voice either. “I am NOT leaving you! Don’t you dare ask me to!” He stood and you backed yourself against the door “I am NOT ASKING.” Despite this you still tried; “Danny. You are high and god knows how much you’ve drunk. You need help. RIGHT now. And I can’t leave!” He took a step forward “WHY?! WHY THE HELL DO YOU EVEN CARE Y/N!? Look at me!” You were, and you didn’t like what you were seeing “I’m a fucking MESS!” “I care because I LOVE you.” Why was he being like this!? Well, you knew WHY… But that didn’t mean you understood. He shook his head and advanced on you, and it pained you that you could feel yourself shaking; “Okay. Try this. I don’t care about you. You don’t mean anything to me. And if I mean something to you… You mean less than nothing to me.” Owch. It was like being stabbed through the heart, and you hated even more that your vision blurred and tears started running. He laughed at that, hollow. Not the man you knew. “SEE!! SEE! This is so fucking perfect! THIS!! THIS IS ME!” You couldn’t believe that for a second. You wouldn’t and you knew you were right. But you couldn’t stop how much what he had just said was hurting you, he kept yelling, but you weren’t even registering what he was saying. Only he was getting closer and you didn’t like it. He was trying to push you away, you weren’t having that. “STOP IT!” You were loud enough to stop his tirade. You shook your head, tears still running, your voice trembled, but you would not raise it; not to Danny. Not now. That’s exactly what he wanted, he wanted you to scream at him, he wanted you to tell him to leave and slam that door behind you and never see him again. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of being right “…I don’t know who the hell you think you are Danny Rayburn. But don’t you EVER tell me I mean nothing to you. I don’t know what is wrong with you. But I know you’re high, and you’re drunk and you are going to regret EVERYTHING you just said to me.” You pulled your bedroom door open and slammed it behind you. You weren’t sure if you could stop Danny from leaving, but you could take every set of keys that was here to try. You walked back through into the kitchen trying to dry your eyes before you got back to Nolan. But he was standing there in shock. And you realised he’d heard everything. “He can’t talk to you like that…” You took a breath; “Nolan. Don’t.” “HE CAN’T!” It took everything you had to push him back “Leave it!! Nolan! Please! I beg you just leave it!” “You’re crying! How can you say that…!!” “Nolan… Please… For me. Don’t go in there…” “…Why?” “He is not himself…” “No shit! He’s drinking and has God knows how much cocaine in him!” “Please..! Can we just… go…” Nolan sighed, because you clearly weren’t giving this one up. “Okay…” He headed towards the front door and that’s when you noticed your kitchen counter was spotless, the cupboard was closed and the empty bottle was sat for recycling. “…Did you just do this…?” “Yeah.” “What did you do with the…?” “It doesn’t matter.” “Nolan!” “It’s not here anymore. That’s all that matters.” “Does he have anymore…” Nolan blatantly lied; “I’d say not. I think he did enough to finish it.” You didn’t question that Nolan had likely found the rest somewhere and had disposed of it, but if he wanted to keep that to himself you didn’t blame him.

***

You still weren’t sure what you were going to find when you opened the door. Inserting the key you leant your head against it. “Do you want me to go in first?” You took a deep breath “Nope…” If things were better, you needed to talk to his father first. If not you weren’t about to let Danny say something stupid. The lock clicked open to the apartment looking exactly how you had left it. “Danny?” You were still met with silence. “Could he have left?” “He wouldn’t get far. I’ve got all the keys…” You walked on through, there were no signs of him, and your bedroom door was still closed; “Just let me check…” “If he starts yelling again you can’t stop me!” You turned back to Nolan; “Yeah okay… Get settled!” You opened your bedroom door. No? He wasn’t clearly in your bedroom, you glanced to the wall. The glass had disappeared from the floor, and the bed looked half made. Surely he hadn’t actually walked out of your front door? You said you weren’t leaving so he did? Well, at least he could only go back to his apartment. Then you heard it, faint with the door closed your onsuite fan hummed almost inconspicuously. You placed your bag down on the bed, also noticing his mobile was still on the bedside table. You placed your hand on the cool metal handle but it took you a good minute to open it. He was sitting with his knees up, head back against the cool tiles of your shower cubicle. His eyes were closed and he had one hand against his forehead and one over his knees. The rise and fall of his chest let you know he was at least alive. “…Danny…?” “Ugh…” He laughed, again un-genuine, “…What are you doing back…? Can’t you go hate me somewhere else…?” You shook your head. His voice was dry and it cracked in places. He coughed and took a sip from the glass of what you hoped was water next to him. “It at least sounds like you might be sober?” “Maybe…” He breathed it “Everything hurts and I’ve more than paid for it…” That left you to guess he was in here because his stomach was now empty. “…I’m such an fucking jackass…” You stepped over to the wall opposite him. “This might be the one time I don’t disagree with you.” “…I can’t believe I…” He sighed “Go on… Just… tell me you’re done. Kick me out… I get it.” “...Look at me.” He didn’t. He dipped his head before he opened his eyes. “Danny. LOOK at me.” “So I can see how disappointed you are? Or how angry or… how…” he shook his head “Scared? I can’t get that LOOK out of my head.” “Look at me.” You repeated it again, and slowly he raised his eyes to meet yours, he looked incredibly guilty. You took a deep breath; “I’m not kicking you out. OR leaving you.” “Why?! I would! After saying that!? Even in my state that was TOO far!” “Yeah, I know what you said. I know what you wanted. Because it’s easier for you, isn’t it? To deal with something by not having to deal with anyone else. But you’re stuck with me. As for Nolan…” “SHIT!” “Yeah well, he heard everything, so I’d apologise to him first.” “I haven’t even got sorry out yet. I didn’t even… SEE! This is why you should just…” He stopped for a minute and you thought he might be sick. “You okay?” “Yeah… Yeah… I…” He placed his hands on his stomach “Oh… God…” “How much did you take?” “…I did three lines… and drank something like a bottle and a half…” “THREE lines!?” “I know I know… I shouldn’t even have it.” “NO. There’s that…” He placed his arms across his knees again and rested his head against them; “Y/N... I just lost... everything... there’s nothing left... except...” he waved in the general direction of the kitchen... you shook your head.

“Daniel Rayburn you’ve never been more wrong of anything in your entire life.” He lifted his eyes to look at you, you’d called him Daniel so, this was serious “I know... The restaurant is your life. A symbol of everything you built and everything you achieved... But it is material... Baby... You have me. More importantly than that you have Nolan... And that boy... He’s going to be a great man...” “In spite of me, not because of it.” “... You’re wrong. He is going to be a great man LIKE his father is. Self-made. Resourceful. Smart.” You couldn’t keep from laughing to yourself “One hell of a looker...” You leant on your hand for a second “That’s what I love about you Danny. Not your name, who you are. Not what you came from, what you have DONE. You don’t think I would want to stick around? You’re at a low point and I know it... And you know it... But, baby, I can’t wait to be around to see the bounce back...” He sighed and looked back to you, “…Please… I’m begging you to stop looking at me like that.” “Like what?” You weren’t aware that you were looking at him like anything “Like you love me.” “Well that’s unfortunate…” You slid down the wall to his level. “I DO love you.” “After what I just said…?” “You weren’t you. Half YOUR problem is you want to push people away… I understand why. But I don’t think you understand that not everyone wants to be pushed away…” “Don’t you hate me…? You must hate me a little…?” You smiled, shaking your head with a little laugh; “I don’t hate you… I could never hate you. That’s my Fucking problem...”

@stcphstrange - We made it!! All the way here! 4 to go! ❤

#danny rayburn x reader #Danny Rayburn #Ben Mendelsohn #Bloodline #Sway #Linzi Queues Things #Linzi Writes #danny rayburn x you #Better At Being Who I Am makes me cry every time I listen to it.#Liliana #Holy shit I lost the number somewhere-!#S C R E A M I N G

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clacolu95 · 6 years ago

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Don’t Want to Let You Go Chapter 9: Mixed Signals

Previous Chapter: Chapter 8: Chad Wellington

Next Chapter: Chapter 10: Newfound Resolution

“Why is your stuff packed in boxes?” The blond had asked her as he made his way to the kitchen after having curiously explored the girl’s house for some minutes. She tensed at the question, but still managed to look at him while she turned off the stove, the hurried pasta she had improvised already ready to be eaten.

“Oh…” She started speaking, not sure if she wanted to tell him about her plans of moving away from Alola just yet “...I’m moving to Ula’ula” She lied, biting her lip a little, not entirely sure why she had felt the sudden need to lie to the blond.

She never planned to end up cooking dinner at her house, but the press had been so crazy after the release of the magazine featuring their kiss as the cover that having a conversation with him at a regular restaurant was not really an option. They couldn’t eat at the mansion, as he had made clear he was avoiding Lusamine, so her house had ended up being the only possible place they could go to.

“Oh, I wouldn’t recommend you living where you work” He joked as he flashed one of his characteristic side grins “But that’s up to you…”

The girl laughed nervously as she served pasta in two plates and walked with them towards the table in the living room.

The pair sat down at the table, playing a little with the food before starting to eat it quietly, none of them brave enough to be the one to start the conversation.

“So why did you sabotage my date?” The kantonian girl asked vaguely after a few minutes, breaking the silence and trying to mask her intrigue with a perceivable careless tone. She bit her lip a little, her heart beating slightly faster than usual as she expectantly waited for an answer.

The blond looked at her directly, his body tensing as he forced himself to keep visual contact with her and his brain fiercely tried to find the right words to start a conversation.

“Are you telling me you actually wanted to go on that date?” He asked with a snarky tone as a side grin formed in his face, failing to answer seriously at the girl and instead choosing to evade the subject by teasing her, an easier way to go compared to answering her question and taking the topic as a serious matter.

The blond gave himself an internal punch as he saw the girl in front of him blush and get seemingly embarrassed. He was aware that after everything that had happened a real conversation between the two was needed, still, the only thing he could manage to do when he saw her was avoid any kind of real and uncomfortable question with evasive comments or redirecting the questions towards her. It wasn't something he was particularly proud of, but finding ways to avoid speaking about his personal business and feelings was a requirement for a figure as important as the president of the Aether Foundation.

Her question had been direct. Simple. And, because of his inaccurate answer, now followed by a very awkward silence that was hard to endure for both of them.

“Why don’t you ever answer a question?” She muttered with a barely audible tone after a few minutes of dead air. Her insistence in the subject made the boy freeze in his place, the hand that had been playing nervously with his pasta minutes ago now unable to move as he listened to her wary comment.

What was wrong with him?

He had asked her to spend some time with him in order to talk about their unresolved relationship, the same subject the champion had tried to avoid so many times, and now that she had finally given him the opportunity he was the one dodging her questions.

He turned his left hand that was well hidden below the table into a fist as he connected ideas, trying to come up with a real way to keep up with the conversation.

Maybe if he brought up the magazine?

… Or her confession?

… Or the party?

“I’m tired of your mixed signals…” He heard her say in a more confident tone as all of his ideas disappeared from his mind. He directed his gaze at her, not believing the determination in her eyes as his indecision transformed into irritation.

“Are you seriously implying that I am the one sending mixed signals?” He suddenly snapped at what he thought was a very ironic situation. He grinned again, challenging her to keep speaking with his piercing green eyes “I’m listening…” He spoke and crossed his arms on top of his chest as he waited for the girl to continue her, as he thought, unjustified claims.

“Well, I…” The Champion muttered nervously as she straightened up her body “You asked me to see you at the most romantic place at the Aether foundation and then rejected me” She grumbled as her face flushed gradually into a bright red. Gladion's eyebrow twitched a little at the memory, his heart sinking deep into his chest but his gaze still firm on her as he listened to what he knew she was inevitably going to say. He had prepared himself for this moment a long time ago, he had prepared himself to confront her, and he just wasn’t going to turn back now.

“You also ignored me for years” She added with her voice trembling and her hands slightly shaking “And then you suddenly and very unexpectedly spoke to me just days ago...” She looked down at the table, not able to stare at his penetrating gaze any longer, the pasta in both of their plates now completely forgotten about by the pair. “...How are those not contradictions? Mixed signals?”

He stared at her for a minute, waiting for her to speak again, to finish voicing her ideas, but no words came out from her anymore, her gaze was now firmly focused on the table, completely evading him as he recognized in her face what looked like worry.

He got up from his chair, managing to catch her attention again, though not her sight, or at least not yet. He walked a little towards her, evading the table and placing himself in front of her, but still leaving a considerable distance between them.

“You ignored me that day at the ferry but then you initiated a conversation with me at Lillie’s party…” He commented in a calm voice, even though inside he was actually freaking out. He looked at her, trying to catch her gaze again “You keep saying I’m contradicting myself, but what about your mixed signals?”

The champion snapped from her thoughts, her gaze slightly lifting from the table but still not able to lock with his “You’re the one that kissed me at that party…” She muttered in a low whisper, biting her lip a little in the process.

“What…?”

“I said you were the one who kissed me!” She screamed at him dramatically, her fists tightening as she continued “How is that not inconsistent?!”

The blond looked at her wide-eyed, grabbing the courage to take a step towards her, closing their distance a little more but still giving her the space he could tell she needed

“You kissed me back!” He replied loudly, already feeling exasperated at the realization that the girl was trying to blame everything on him. He felt like he was going to die at any moment, his heartbeat had grown exponentially since the start of the conversation and his thoughts were so messy it was troublesome to keep speaking.

He saw Moon take a step closer at him, her stare went from angry to surprised at his remark, though just for a second. She frowned at him again, now looking directly at his eyes, no sight of the embarrassment or the intimidation she had felt at the start anymore.

“Okay forget about that” She spoke with a slight pause that he could only interpret as hesitation. “Nothing that happened at the party counts. We were both drunk” She concluded, earning a frown from the now angry president.

“You can’t dismiss it like it didn’t happen!” He screamed

“I can!” She retorted.

He took a step towards her again, the distance between them now barely surpassing two feet. He took a long breath, trying to order his messy thoughts and dismissing her stubbornness.

“Let’s suppose for a moment the party never happened” He spoke a little bit calmer “Just for the sake of the argument”

The champion looked at him nervously, but still not wanting to move an inch from her position.

She was a competitive woman, never showing any weakness at his adversaries, but he was a man of science, of facts, and there was nothing that could stand against his arguments. Not even her obstinacy.

“That doesn’t change the fact that you went to my office the next day and confessed to me” He added with a grin, already knowing she wouldn’t be able to turn the situation back against him. “You keep running away and evading me, but that doesn't change the facts”.

One step. Two steps closer, he closed the distance until it was barely existing between the two.

“Y-you kissed me and sabotaged my date…” She stammered at him, clearly affected by the lack of personal space as the only thing she could see were his intense emerald eyes and his left eyebrow slightly twitching.

“And how are those mixed signals!?” He screamed, unable to control his messy feelings anymore. He needed her to get it, even if his heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. “I spoke to you first, I've chased you all these days, and I kissed you!... Twice!” He felt uneasy, exposed, but still strangely satisfied. The feelings he had been keeping for so long finally finding a way out of his troubled mind and aching chest. “I've been nothing but consistent ever since that day at the ferry!”

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#gladion x moon #lonashipping #mahinashipping #gladion #moon #protagonist #hau x lillie #snowlilyshipping #pokemon #pokemon sun and moon #pokemon fanfiction

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crossedbeams · 8 years ago

Text

Transitory - Trinity Ch.10

Genre: Casefile | Fandom: The X-Files x The Fall x Sreetcar | Rating: Mature | Setting: Circa 2012. Canon compliant | Chapters: 3/6 of Part 2

Trinity Part I

Chapter 1 - Perfume || Chapter 2 - Impression || Chapter 3 - Connection Chapter 4 - Delusion || Chapter 5- Confrontation || Chapter 6 - Post Mortem

Trinity Part I

Prologue - Purgatory || Chapter 1 - Animosity || Chapter 2 - History

This chapter is rated teen+ for a little sexual content. Also it’ angsty AF. sorry!

TRINITY: PART II CHAPTER III - TRANSITORY

Scully wakes up on hotel-crisp sheets after not nearly long enough. Her mind is racing but her body tells her it’s not morning yet. The clock is showing 11:15pm and she’s only been asleep for around four hours, the remains of a room-service salad drying out on the desk. Stella Gibson, with her brusquely dismissive, “You’ve been up at least 36 hours. Check yourself in, the Bureau will cover the bill, and we’ll discuss what happens next in the morning,” is staying two floors up.

The end of the afternoon had passed in a hurry of meetings and memorandums, an updated file arriving from the morgue complete with forms declaring that Scully’s late night examination had been totally by-the-book defusing Stanning’s fury from apoplectic to merely seething. He was biding his time, Scully could tell; smarting because Blanche Dubois had refused to speak to him when she’d finished with the sketch artist, affronted when Stella had gone straight to AD Gilmore to request approval to involve the Miami field office in their hunt for Jane Doe, his macho bravado growing louder with every small step the women of the taskforce took forward without his input. And it wasn’t that they sought to exclude him, Scully had realised as the day wore on, it was quite simply that he wasn’t willing to listen or participate until it suited his purpose.

When the police artist had come into the situation room with an e-fit sketch from Blanche’s description, Stanning had stood right next to them as Stella listed the databases she wanted it run against, he was well within earshot of Scully’s suggestion that they also check it against hospital staff records in the cities of interest. Short of profound deafness, there was no way he could have missed Scully’s subsequent explanation that most intravenous drugs capable of killing with the required speed and subtlety are controlled substances. and that access to such drugs makes it possible their perp is a medical professional of some sort. Scully could even have sworn that Agent Stanning had nodded his approval to extend their search parameters, but by the time they reached the last meeting of the day, Scully’s reiteration of those same suggestions to the gathered taskforce had been met with a unsubtle, definitely not under-the-breath, “Would be great if your little consultant would run this stuff past me before sharing with the room,” to Gibson, standing stonily at his side.

Scully suspects that Stanning’s hostility towards her has a lot more to do with Stella Gibson than Scully herself, but she hasn’t had a chance to ask what might be at the root of it. Things between her and the British detective have thawed as the day has worn on, the previous night’s unpleasantness put aside for now in the interest of furthering the case; Blanche’s clear preference for Scully has changed the landscape and they are both still adapting, Stella has made space for Scully’s ideas and investigative victories despite her instinct to hold all the cards. It’s imperfect but it is working.

Tomorrow will be another rebalancing, and in the honesty of midnight darkness Scully prays that she will be asked to stay, that Stella’s initial promise of partnership will be renewed and the day will carry her to the morgue to assist with processing, or to a crime scene, anywhere where she can work, help and be useful in the search for the truth. This case has burrowed its way into her mind and she feels that familiar itch of unfinished business, of injustice, her mind rejecting sleep in favour of going over the evidence. After all, the structure and strictures of investigation, of neatly typed reports and linked evidence is a much kinder and more familiar cause for insomnia than the choking misery of Mulder’s absence which has become her frequent bedfellow these last few months.

Trying not to count back the nights where she’s reached for him and found only a cold pillow, Scully flicks on the TV, hoping for some numbing background noise. Instead, she finds her own face.

The photograph is old, maybe as much as a decade. She vaguely remembers having it taken for a hospital ID on a day when her hair was at an awkward in-between stage after being on the run, and next to Stella’s pristine police portrait she looks like the scruffy younger sister. Clicking on the sound, she catches the end of a report identifying her as a possible consultant and speculating as to what could have brought two women from such wildly different backgrounds on to the suspected serial case. When they cut back to the anchor, Scully recognises one of the men from from outside the station, and she realises that, in absence of any official statement to the press, she and Stella are likely the closest thing anyone has to a story. She only hopes that- and then in a flash Mulder’s face is on screen, and it’s too late, the potted official history of their partnership laid out for the late-night news audience with the standard side order of ridicule and sensationalism. She feels a pang then, for the old days where they’d have laughed off the bad press over bad coffee, the marks on each of their bodies reassuring them that the truth they sought was valid and important, their scars an armour of proof that only the other could see or understand. It’s a fond memory, and it gives Scully the excise she has been pretending not to be waiting for. If her involvement has made the news, there is a chance it will make it to Mulder. She has to call. She pretends her heart isn’t racing at the thought of hearing his voice.

Scully calls their landline on autopilot. It’s the closest phone to Mulder’s desk and she knows that is likely where he will be. Late night calls are a staple of their relationship, or at least they had been back when they still talked, miles of telephone wire condensing to nothing under the magnetism of their connection, his voice in her ear more intimate than the touch of any man who had come before him. Even at the beginning, his sincerity, his fervour had stripped away her cynicism, if not her scepticism, and left her open and vulnerable to everything he was, everything that they became… everything they have lost.

He picks up on an inhale but says nothing, forcing her to break the silence. Again.

‘Mulder, it’s me.’

And she wishes she could see his face, because his ‘Scully?’ is a question she doesn’t know how to answer. It’s not a ‘Where the hell are you and why have you got my phone?’ It’s not a ‘Why haven’t you come home?’ It’s ‘Why are you calling me Scully?’ and she doesn’t know how to answer him.

She’d planned to tell him that she was assisting the FBI, not to worry and sorry she’d snuck out but he seemed busy. She’d thought perhaps she’d tempt him into the case, saying, ‘Please if you have any “Mulder hunches” call me because this guy is a sick fuck and I want to catch him’ and meaning, ‘I miss you. I miss us.’ But now frustration and loss and rage are fighting in her throat and, ‘Mulder I love you; why don’t you see me slipping away?’ is tangled up in, ‘Did you even notice I was gone?’ and ‘Why the hell haven’t you checked your phone in two days? I could have been dead in a ditch and you wouldn’t know, wouldn’t even care, you self-involved bastard!’

In the end, nothing comes out. And that’s what she tells him.

‘It’s nothing Mulder. I’m fine, I was just... Don’t worry.’

And he tells her goodbye and puts the phone down and Scully feels, just for a second, like she is nothing. That it has all been for nothing.

Mulder’s phone is heavy in her hand, one more thing of his he seems content to live without, and Scully lets it drop to the bed and get lost in the dark. He’d sworn they wouldn’t get lost in the dark, but it’s not the first promise he’s broken.

Determinedly swinging her legs out of bed, Scully drags workout clothes out of her luggage and pulls them on, transplanting the energy of her anger, the tension of her hurt into her muscles and as soon as her sneakers are laced she’s out of the door and headed for the health club. She skips the elevator, jogs down the ten flights of stairs and thanks God and whoever signs off Stella Gibson’s expenses for the Hilton and their 24/7 fitness centre.

The gym is empty and the music is off, but that suits Scully fine. She picks a treadmill by the window overlooking the pool for the distracting chlorine-fuelled fractals the water casts on the walls and ups the incline until she can feel her thighs start to burn. Mulder likes to run outside, to escape, but for Scully running has always been a form of punishment, penitence for that extra dinner roll, her legs pounding Hail Marys into the conveyor until her lungs burn and her mind empties. It’s not about getting anywhere or away from anything, it’s about staying the course. Tonight she will run until she forgets to feel hurt by what she’s left behind, until she forgets to be afraid of what comes next.

Ten minutes in and movement below catches the edge of her consciousness, figures intruding on the edge of her pool-rippled blank space. She keeps running, keeps gazing but they do not retreat, and Scully finds herself leaning in, observing the people below from her vantage point as if through a microscope.

There’s a familiarity to the arch of the woman’s back as she slips into the spa tub in a seal-black line. There’s a recognisable arrogance to the way she rises up on her knees and leans into her companion, to her dedication to her own pleasure as she slips the straps of her bathing suit down her shoulders in a public area, not caring who might be watching the sensuous skid of fingers down her now naked back. It’s not until the woman throws her head back, her lips tight with pleasure, that Scully realises why the stranger seems so familiar.

It’s Stella, her hair slicked back and dark from the pool. She seems as confident here, half naked and straddling someone in an empty jacuzzi, as she had in the boardroom. Scully hits the emergency stop on the treadmill, meaning to rush away, ashamed of her accidental voyeurism but as she is about to step back the scene below her changes. Stella rolls away from her partner to recline against the edge of the pool, and as she settles in a languid pose, somehow both soft and hard in one liquid pose, she looks up and notices her audience.

Scully freezes, still poised to run but now there’s a dare in Stella’s eyes, a wicked invitation to stay a little longer, to see how far things go, and Scully finds herself starting the treadmill again, a low setting, no incline, a feeble excuse to spectate Stella’s conquest.

Without relinquishing eye contact, Stella slides over to reclaim her partner, pulling them into her lap and arching her neck to give them access to the ivory swoop of her skin. A slight smile curves her lips when Scully eventually realises the body draped over her colleague is that of another woman. Scully is not surprised, there have been moments where Stella’s glance has skirted the edges of seductive, and remembering them now, wondering if she encouraged them, pins Scully more firmly in the sweet place between fight and flight. She runs harder, looking for another explanation for the heat rising in her cheeks and settling in places she will not acknowledge when Stella’s fingers dip playfully under the edges of the other woman’s bikini. She should leave. She doesn’t want this. Does she? Scully has never been a voyeur but the adrenaline coursing through her body from the exercise and the taboo of what she is watching is intoxicating. And so she keeps jogging, keeps making excuses and chalking up her shortness of breath to exertion.

A quarter mile later and the dark haired woman’s hands have vanished from view, the unfocused blue of Stella’s gaze giving Scully a pretty good idea of what they might be doing, though from her vantage point all she can see is bubbles. For a mad moment she considers going downstairs, some insidious voice in the back of her mind telling Scully that Stella wouldn’t mind, but even this much, even dragging her own lower lip into her mouth as Stella’s eyes finally snap shut and biting down to feel the corresponding tightness in her nipples and between her legs feels sinful. It’s a mix of sexy and sordid that without Stella’s gaze to hold her in place feels overwhelming, and as reason crashes in on this early hours insanity, Scully leaves. She doesn’t glance back to where deft fingers have now vanished inside bikini bottoms and definitely doesn’t acknowledge the ache between her own legs until she has reached the safety of her room.

Locking the door and dimming all the lights, as if that can hide the shameful desperation of her desire, Scully strips off and lets the shower head and her fingers finish what started ten floors down. It’s a technique she’s perfected in the months spent waiting for Mulder, a quick release so she can go to bed satisfied if not sated.

She remembers the first time, she’d put it off for weeks, unwilling to accept that yet another of their connections had failed, until her body was screaming to be touched, and then finally, desperately, Scully had crawled onto Mulder’s side of the bed, head deep in his pillow, and she’d touched herself pretending it was him. Afterwards she cried herself to sleep with loneliness of it, waking up alone with the evidence, before relocating to the shower where at least it felt more like an emotional ablution than a last resort. She tells herself the same thing now, that it’s a natural urge, a hormonal release, and has absolutely nothing to do with whatever devilish desire had kept her watching downstairs, and that the uncharacteristic act of watching has nothing to do with what is missing at home. Scully’s almost convinced herself of both lies by the time she crawls back into bed, and she drifts off to dreams of running, of following Mulder down a dark and endless tunnel, calling out for him to wait and then looking back to see Stella Gibson chasing behind, face bright with freedom and laughing as the gap begins to close.

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#txf #The Fall #Dana Scully #Fox Mulder #Stella Gibson #Tribity #My Writing #txf fanfic #crossover #red headed stepchild of my fic :p

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