#also infuriating that we live in a time where even talking about this is considered ‘misogynistic’ somehow

[hag-lad]

I’ve vented about this before, but it really does bother me when women who wear makeup on a regular basis try to make it sound like it’s some kind of non-negotiable requirement of everyday life. “We HAVE to wear makeup or we’re not taken seriously!” “Every time I go without makeup, someone tells me I look tired!” “Didn’t you hear about that one woman who didn’t get the job because she wasn’t wearing makeup at the interview?”

Like.

Do these women even realize how many of us go without makeup literally every single day??? How many women are employed, happy, healthy, and taken as seriously as we can be under patriarchy, without having to paint a face on top of our face? Lmao.

Here’s the thing: I understand this is more complicated for trans women, I understand that some industries actually literally do require their employees to wear makeup, I understand some people just enjoy it artistically, I understand all of that shit. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about women who are afraid of looking “ugly” or “less presentable,” women who reinforce beauty standards rather than rejecting them, women who pretend that their personal fear of judgement is the same thing as systemic non-negotiable requirement. I think that’s an amazingly cowardly way to pretend to be radical while interrogating NOTHING about your participation in and collaboration with the values you were spoonfed from birth.

Rubs me the wrong way.

[lastoneout]

Something I've noticed that is like...concerning but also just really annoying about online discussions about basically any topic these days is something that probably already has a name but that for now I'ma call "death of nuance via strict binary thinking" which leads a lot of people to get very angry over the idea that two things can be true at once, or that bringing up someone else's problems does not overshadow or invalidate your own, or that you can uplift a group of people without tearing down another.

Because like, I've had this happen on several of my posts now, where I say a generally harmless, factual statement, and several people rush in to either outright accuse me of saying a different, more extreme statement or annoyingly "correct" me to fix the supposed ~dangerous implications~ of my words, which I'm not gonna lie is as infuriating as it is confusing.

I can't make a post about how sugar is one of the main things the human body runs on and thus trying to remove it entirely from your diet is dangerous and harmful without people showing up to be like "are you saying it's okay to eat an entire bag of sugar by the spoonful??" and "well if you ate nothing but oreoes and ice cream that would make you sick" even though that doesn't contradict or really have anything?? to do?? with my original statement??

I can't make a post talking about the issues men(trans or cis) face under the patriarchy without people showing up and getting mad at me for "making feminism about men" despite the fact that the majority of my feminist activism DOES center women and taking a moment to explore the ways the patriarchy harms us all in no way harms women. And I can't make a post pointing out that marginalized men, especially black, disabled, and fat men often have malice read into their very existence and maybe that's bad without people showing up to get mad at me for saying marginalized men are incapable of harm which is not what I said at all.

And this one is a bit different but still one I see a lot, which is an over-correction seeped in the idea that we can only uplift one group at a time, or if x group is good y group must be bad. Like I am all for pointing out that there's nothing wrong with not wearing makeup and having body hair and not wearing deodorant, and women who live like that are fine and valid and can still be seen as sexy and desirable, and yes there ARE things to critique about the beauty industry for sure...but then that manifests into thinking women who do shave and wear makeup and deodorant are ugly or weird or brainwashed and should be mocked, which..no? Or when the dialog shifted to talking about fat people being hot suddenly we had a lot of people acting like skinny women were ugly and weird when that actually doesn't help with fat liberation AT ALL.

(Also just to clarify I think the occasional joke about these topics is okay given how much mockery fat, hairy, and non-feminine women get BUT there is a point when you go to far and some groups of people are racing over the line.)

And like yeah you could say the internet has always been this way but there's been a real noticeable uptick in progressive leftists coming at complex issues with this kind of no-nuance thinking, when it used to be something I really only saw from conservatives. I'd see stuff like "well feminism is bad because men also have problems" and "oh black lives matter? are you saying other lives don't??" and "oh you think drug addicts aren't inherently dangerous well what about the ones who DO hurt people" or "we can't talk about trans women's issues that would take away from talking about cis women's problems" and "we can't have a fat character that's glorifying ob*sity" and we used to MOCK them for that shit. This was seen as RIDICULOUS and was generally considered a conversation ender because it's clear the people doing it aren't actually interested in having a conversation they just want to yell at you for something you didn't say or pull a huge "I am uncomfortable when we are not about me" which just...ough please stop.

So seeing like actual progressive people pull this shit is really weird and it happens so often I legit can't ignore it anymore. I don't really have a solution, but I just feel like some of us really need to wrap our heads around the idea that just because someone said one thing doesn't mean they're saying this other thing too. Which, when you put it like that, sounds like the kind of thing you learn in kindergarten but I digress. Someone saying it's okay to eat sugar, your body actually needs it, isn't necessarily saying it's okay to eat so many oreoes you get sick(or excluding diabetics or being a corn lobby apologist or whatever the hell else people on that post are accusing me of). Someone bringing up the ways the patriarchy hurts people who aren't women isn't making feminism about men or saying women don't have problems. Trans men talking about their issues isn't implying anything about trans women just like bisexuals or asexuals talking about their issues isn't taking space away from allo gay people. Someone talking about how assuming marginalized men are threats when they're just existing is bad and gets innocent people killed isn't saying OJ Simpson did nothing wrong.

Two things can be true at the same time. Nuance is important and making space to talk about one thing isn't taking away from someone else. There's no contest, no slippery slope so dangerous we can't even state facts, no pie you have to fight over. Oppression isn't a math problem where whatever you do to one side of the equation must be done to the other or a scale that can't be balanced. This kind of thought process isn't productive and will not lead to a better, more equal world. Just one where someone else is wearing the boot.

Just...idk please just stop coming onto posts assuming the worst, doing bad faith readings and then getting pissed about something the person didn't say, assuming someone else getting a seat at the table means yours is in danger, being so desperate to be a good ally that you start doing lateral violence and calling it punching up, and just full on stealing conservative talking points and argument styles and trying to make them progressive.

We're supposed to be better than this. That's all I've got really, we're just supposed to be better than this. And while I don't always engage with people like this for obvious reasons, I'd like to think they aren't beyond saving and maybe this post can change a few minds. You guys aren't wrong to be angry and want to help and protect people who need it, but this is not the way to go about it and it never will be.

[welp-back-on-my-bs]

Ikesen Morgan Relationships:

Oda:

Mai: "Honestly, I think she is amazing! She is doing so well with being here in the past. I may not have been there, but in the 'sibling meetings', it was brought up. She is also very talented, and I try to help her sometimes if I gave the time"

Nobunaga: "he is on top of the food chain. We have a weekly game night where we play a differnt game each night. It's a lot of fun and it wasn't what I was expecting when he called me to his room. He did mention the little uh... thing from town... heh... we shared some candy for that!"

Hideyoshi: "he honestly is very overprotective. I mean- come on. But I don't exactly blame him for that because of how we met... he is the first person i go to if I can't sleep at night either. He manages to help me relax easily, so it's nice honestly-"

Mitsuhide: "dad number 2. He helped me with survival because and I quote,'You have the survival instincts of a Pidgon.' I mean- I do. But now I'm able to have a better chance to live here on my own. Outside of the other stuff-"

Mitsunari: "Just one of the sweetest people in the Oda. He has treated me extremely well, and I've decided to help him with getting to sleep and eating. After all, how else is he going to keep going on with his passions and live on into a world of peace?"

Ieyasu: "... honestly- he is so indirect about things that get infuriating. Tell me how you ACTIALLY feel dude. But, I do have respect for him for his medicines, and he has taught me more efficient ways to make mine as well."

Masamune: "bitch thinks he can beat me and Moonlight. He has lost most of the races we have done. He is a skilled cook. I'll give him that, and I'll at least try what he makes."

Ramaru: "he often talks to me about feeling guilty. He doesn't share why, but he asks why I don't also feel guilty, too? Those discussions can be quite hard, honestly. But the other times we hang out are nice and peaceful. It's weird..."

Keji: havent met yet

Usui-Takada:

Kenshin: "he took me into his care first. I'll always respect him for that. When I asked him why, he told me that 'You looked lost and frightened. But you held your ground and made a bloody battleground into a peaceful graveyard, respecting each of the men. Someone like that should survive any battle that faces them.'"

Shingen: "Yuki warned me about how flirtatious he could be, so i often stayed away from him. But we ended up bonding over sweets and seeing each other on a more even ground than oh look a 'woman' time to flirt"

Sauske: "I feel lucky to have landed in the same spot ad him. He is sp smart and caring about those he considers friends. I'm glad to be ND glasses buds with him. He may have won out in our training- but that's ok. It just pushed me to work harder!"

Yukimura: "absolute best person to tease. Its so easy and fun too. Along with speaking with Ama and Sauske around him, he gets so lost, but he has picked up on some things. Which is even better!"

Yoshimoto: "People have said that he is a fierce warrior on the battlefield not to be trifled with. But I never met that version of him. The one I met actually taught me the language, and we bonded over the arts. I do wish some of his vessels would stop with the whole die for honor... but that is of this period... and it is horrible..."

Kantesugu: "I dont get along with him as well as I do Mitsunari, we inky met in passing and didn't really interact. When we did, he was direct and straight to the point which I appreciated"

Other:

Kicho: "I met up with him by accident one day. I didn't realize at the time that he was technically an enemy. But... what he told me and what we talked about... heh... couldn't help but relate. I'm glad he is able to be himself now. His true self. I also hope that I can help him whenever he needs me... he even offered to help me funnily enough-"

Motanari: "bitchass mother fucker"

Kennyo: "he is dragging others into his pit of dispair and grief. It's destroying everything around him. At least he knows it... he would definitely refuse me helping him if I were to ever offer. 'Oda rat' or something like that is probably what he would call me..."

Siblings/Mother

Amaryllis:( @silkkorchid ) "Ama is quite fun to be around, literally just- the non biological child of Mitsuhide and Hideyoshi. She helped me get out of my shell a bit and managed to get me out- so I really appreciate her"

Rubia ( @rubia8 ): "Sweet sis, getting dragged into Ama's chaos... we play with strays often that she hides in her room"

Hydrangeas ( @colourless-hydrangeas ): "singlehandedly brought peace via split custody? She is really quite well spoken, and I have a lot of respect for her hand in ending the bloodshed."

Kiyomi ( @just-a-little-silly ): "aparantly- lord Nobunaga has a sister- who has my dad's around her pinky finger. She was honestly what sealed me staying with the Oda. She helped me get a job as a stable hand. If I ever need peace and quiet, we normally just go somewhere together. She honestly treats me, so well..."

[frozenjokes]

CuteGuy Would Prefer Greatly If HotGuy Never Ever Had Any Nice Things, But Especially Not His Good Friend And Roommate Cubfan135 (1/3)

I absolutely refuse to go through an add italics to the tumblr versions of my fics but grian is so angry all of the time it was necessary in this case

next

“So let me get this straight.” Grian, well, CuteGuy stood over HotGuy, the hero’s head pinned under his own boot. It was times like these that Grian considered ditching the boots altogether; wrapping his talons around any hero’s face like this would be an absolute sight, but alas, he wasn’t trying to get painful calluses all over his feet. Grian was sure HotGuy could escape this if he wanted to; he’d just have to roll to knock Grian off, but he stayed still, staring up at Grian with those big, pathetic eyes. “You want my help with your romantic endeavors. You want to pretend fight so you can pretend win, yeah? Impress that special someone?”

Grian knew who it was, of course. Not because HotGuy announced it or because it was on the news, no, but because this certified idiot had set his sights on Cub. Cub! His roommate Cub. What could HotGuy even want from a guy like Cub- just a guy! A human, not even a conventionally attractive human, who hardly knew anything about heroes and villains other than their names! Cub, who worked a shitty job with a shitty manager, who basically did nothing but go on little walks and hang out at home- there was nothing about Cub that stood out, so why in the fuck was HotGuy so- Grian hissed, pressing a little harder on HotGuy’s head, who grunted. HotGuy didn’t get to have Cub. Cub wasn’t- HotGuy didn’t even know him! He didn’t get to take Cub- his Cub- and turn him into some kind of hero worshiper!

“Stop looking at me like that!” Grian’s anger reached its boiling point, though HotGuy didn’t flinch, looking more disappointed than anything.

To his credit, he did look away, pursing his lips, “So I take it you’re not a fan of the idea.” The infuriating amicable lilt to his voice stayed even despite his face being crushed against the pavement, and Grian wanted nothing more than to choke it out of him.

“What gave you that idea?” Grian snarled, and HotGuy shrugged.

“When you’re really pissed off you start drooling, and honestly, it’s quite gross. Are you stressed? Have you considered Xanax? Does wonders for me on bad days.”

“My insurance won’t renew my prescription and my doctor fucking sucks.”

“Ah, I feel you buddy. I mean, I basically live in a hospital, but sometimes I need some more benign stuff and it just feels like the whole system is out to get you! Don’t even get me started on before I got into the hero business, gosh. Well, if it makes you feel any better, you were far from my first choice. I asked The Goat, but he told me that would be a monumental waste of his time, Mumbo told me he wouldn’t be convincing enough and also to stop calling him he’s retired, I haven’t seen Worm Man for years but I’m still looking-“

“How many people did you ask before me?” Grian tried not to be offended, but honestly, he was very offended- HotGuy has the gall to ask favors then admit Grian wasn’t his first choice? Why not? He knew why. But why not???

“Anyone I could find, really. I mean, heroes are easy enough to track down, but a lot of them are busy and also don’t give a fuck, but villains kinda just wander around and cause problems wherever. Though, I figured if I stood here long enough you’d jump me like you did last time. Hey, by the way, if you see Poultry Man, will you tell him I’d like to talk?”

Grian seethed; he had seen HotGuy up on the apartment complex where they had fought last and assumed he was looking for Cub- was Grian really that predictable?

“The last thing Poultry Man would want to do is help you impress some guy you don’t even know- what’s the deal anyway? Don’t answer that, I don’t care.”

“Hey! I know Cub plenty! We had such a nice walk the night you broke my visor and then a lovely lunch date the next day! Well- maybe not a date. I don’t know, I never asked what he thought. I kind of don’t want to know, though. And I wasn’t going to ask Poultry Man to help me do anything, I just wanted to talk to him about all the chickens he released into the poor woman’s home- it’s not important-“

“Poor woman? She’s a fucking asshole.”

“It’s not important,” Scar strained, and Grian felt the tiniest bit vindicated, “All I meant to say is that I would feel bad beating the shit out of Poultry Man, even if it was just pretend. He’s just a misguided guy in a chicken costume.

“Misguided?” Grian’s hiss cracked into a higher pitch, “Poultry Man is EVIL. Poultry Man could CRUSH YOU. What makes you think you’re any match against him, huh? Really.”

“I mean, his costume looks a bit bulky, not great for maneuvering. I doubt he can see very well out of the mask, too. I don’t know, maybe he��s like, secretly ripped or something, but I still don’t think he could do much damage.”

“You’ll regret underestimating him when you’re taking your last breaths under his claws.”

“Oh, I hope not! I just wanted to chat about where he got those chickens, but you’re nice for standing up for him! You’re a good friend, CuteGuy.”

“I-“ Grian felt his body short circuit for a moment, everything replaced with the type of fury that can only be released by picking someone up and violently shaking them. HotGuy was perfectly polite about it, enduring Grian’s fit of rage before hanging somewhat limply in his arms, not even using his own legs to stand after Grian was done. HotGuy stared. Grian stared back.

“You’re strong.”

“Fuck you.” Grian dropped HotGuy, who just collapsed, wholly unready to support his own weight. Fine. Good. With a few strong beats of his wings, Grian took off, leaving HotGuy firmly in the dust. Flying was good and the evening breeze was good and if shaking someone annoying wasn’t enough to make them stop being annoying, then it was time to let it go. Something Grian was famously bad at.

When he looked back HotGuy was still just laying there, INFURIATINGLY, just staring at the sky! He wasn’t even looking at Grian, he was just completely zoned out-! What was his damn problem?

Grian’s boots cracked against the cement on either side of HotGuy’s waist, and HotGuy screamed, so genuinely frightened, Grian was pretty sure the noise would color his memory for the rest of his life. “Where are you meeting him?”

“What?” HotGuy squeaked, and the sound was just as beautiful.

“Where do you want me to be for your stunt?”

“I-I was going to meet Cub at the City Park-“

“Are you crazy? Are you trying to get me arrested? You’ll meet here, in the parking lot across the street at 9:00. And I don’t do play fights, but if you shoot me I’ll rip you a new one. And I want $500.”

“That’s- a lot of money-“

“You won’t miss it. You and your piece of shit rich friends spend that kind of change like it’s nothing on designer clothes and cocaine. And I want to see your sorry face when you’re forced to cough it up after I flatten your ass then steal your man.”

“You- why are you so mean to me? Hey- you are not allowed to-“ Grian didn’t let him finish, beating his wings hard enough to batter HotGuy’s face before taking off, definitively this time.

Perfect. This was going to be fun.

[susandsnell]

the armand is alice theory is so infuriating for many reasons, but yeah the misogyny + biphobia at work to erase daniel's past romantic relationships... it never made sense to me especially bc one of the ways through which an older daniel comes to sympathise w/ louis is through his own failed relationships to his wives and daughters

welcome, companion in haterism!!!! I try to make it a point to avoid IWTV discourse for the most part but I cannot and will not countenance this fuckass theory, I do not respect it, and I will not shut up about it until the show proves me right and we see it dead in the ground. It is so stupid. It is so fucking stupid.

I fully agree - whether you read Daniel as bi or gay (and there's sufficient argument for both, though I def have my own theories - and the latter doesn't imo at all lessen the importance of his relationships to his wives), how circa 2008 misogynistic yaoi no-girls-allowed livejournal do you have to be to try to erase women from existence that we haven't even seen yet. This show is already a sausagefest with so few women to spare.

Likewise, as you point out, it would also be godawful writing that completely undercuts what they've done so far with Old Maniel, which imo is one of the highlights of the show. Through his life experiences of two failed marriages + two daughters who are no-contact (parallel to Louis with Lestat, Armand, Claudia and Madeleine), he's much better equipped to empathize with and reach a better conclusion with Louis in 2022 than in 1973, offering insights that help them both grow as people. As well, it would completely cheapen and frankly ruin one of the most important emotional beats of the entire show up until this point -- Louis' rescue of Daniel. This was what allowed him to have One Mortal Life, Fully Lived Out, given shape and meaning by the good and the bad, the triumphs and the failures, the heights of his career success and the nadirs of his personal life. It's incredibly important to both characters - this is literally 70% of Daniel's entire existence we're talking about here, and where Louis is concerned, Louis, the walking moral crisis, in the depths of despair and suicidal depression, was able to see that the vampire could do a good deed and have a positive impact. What he tried and failed to do with Claudia time and again, he succeeded with here, and there was an even broader impact when you consider all the people Daniel was able to live on to help, and all the lives he touched. What would any of that even mean if it's Oops! All Armand?

And finally, it cheapens Devil's Minion itself. It dumbs down the promised future we have of their dynamic to "There's Literally No One Important In Daniel's Life Except Armand And Never Has Been", and Daniel can apparently only ever have one relationship, and no others to have learned from, compared it to, or used as a frame of reference (whereas Armand has had several, too). I hate soul-mate stories as a narrative crutch, and I aggressively do not care to learn that Daniel's demonstrated emotional intelligence, growth, happy memories and deep failings as a husband and father were, to borrow his parlance, "based on a seismic lie". On the other side of things, it would completely wreck the narrative buildup that Armand alone is enough for Daniel after every other relationship for him has been performance and manipulation; Daniel seeing him for who and what he is when nobody else ever has is so crucial to their show dynamic as it exists currently. It would be cheap, soapy, and frankly, reminiscent of TJLC.

Past Devil's Minion could have very well happened and I'm not entirely against the possibility, but for the love of God, can we not do it at the expense of women and oh, I don't know, Daniel's entire character as he exists on the show?

[pro-logue-epi-logue]

Hey, just wanna drop in to say that I love your will & alex hate, hahahaha! I'm glad i found someone who's as infuriated of will as i did. He's so fucking annoying. Nightfall really ruined his character for me. He used to be my fav horsemen, but after nightfall, the only male characters i like are micah and rory. Don't even get me started with alex. She's like a whole different character in nightfall, and i hate how pd turned her character an OWD (other women drama). She was great before nightfall, why did pd had to ruin her character like that?

I was also pissed when people kept on mentioning how emory was jealous of other women with will, but these same people never mentioned how will always treated emmy badly when HE was the one who had to deal with his jealousy of seeing emmy with other men? Like the hypocrisy? 🙄 i love dark romances, but overall, i think this series just aint for me because i like no main male characters here, and that's literally the opposite goal of a romance story.

I don't find Will romantic enough because his words and actions are just so icky. Just because he went to jail for his crimes that are related to defending emmy, and kept on having loving thoughts of Emmy in his head, doesnt mean it excuses every other hurtful things he's ever said or done towards her, you know. And that's the thing, i'm aware that emmy was not fully innocent either, but at least we saw in her pov that she wasn't delusional about her bad treatment towards will, unlike will towards emmy? And his admission was only near the end, and it was so short and dismissive too? It was so unsatisying, I need a big grovelling.

How do you like the series so far though? Have you found characters that you like better now? Or worse? Do you already have a ranking in mind, or are you the kind that decides it at the end of the series? Do you think you'll like will by the end of the series? Hahaha!

Hi 👋

😅 yeah i kind of hate those two idiots (not adorably) but i technically LOATH alex and just want will to use his brain and i am fine.

1 thing is for sure WILL too deserves hate just because he loved emory that didn't erase that he was awful to her at times.

And honestly i hate all the horsemen, none of them are my favorite.

I the entire series the males whom i loved are my precious MICAH and RORY. There is nothing they did that made me hate them, they were in blackchurch where they were put by their families to suffer but guess what they found someone they lived and thought "hey lets just chill".then they saw emory and was like "now i am intrigued, why exactly is she here?".

I just love these two cuties, they are the definition of the word pookies (i honestly hate this word)

But yes I LOVE THEM, and i want emmy to adopt them.

She probably has, they are her brothers.

Now coming to Alex, i don't think she is a different person in Nightfall, its just we get to see more of her, the real her in nightfall. A bitch who just cant understand her position.

She was not the other woman in nightfall, she was the other woman ALWAYS! thats what her character is. Let me explain.

I conclave she explains how she met aydin.

He was someone else's FIANCE!!!!. and she was thet girls BEST FRIEND.

Imagine your best friend and fiance backstabbing you so bad. I am pretty sure she has a life time trauma because of these 2 *insert a bad word her of your choice*.

And in nightfall Alex always ALWAYS interrupted and meddled in between when will and wm are talking, a thing they barely did..

Honestly she was playing a long game to marry will, considering how she wanted will to put that necklace on her.

So when she realized "hey, em is here will wants her, and aydin is not even looking at me. Then what happens to me??"

For me she was not great before nightfall either, for me she was barely there.

She took banks to shopping not because she wanted to help her but because kai PAID her, and she will do anything for money.

She took winter to fare because will asked her and she never left him alone.

She was with winter when damon was not because damon asked her and she is afraid of her.

So yeah she never was a girls girl to me.

Emmy was jealous yes but its obvious she will feel that way because she loved will hey atleast she never behaved as rudely and childish as alex.

I hated will in present chapter, i get it you want to get revenge, as idiotic your reason is but hey have some spine and just say something.

In past he was like "i will do anything for you, depend on me, i won't let anyone touch you."

In present he was like "yes so what alex slapped her even though i know she was abused for years. Who cares? Fuck this bitch."

"I know you know how to take a beating"

So yes present chapters are the reason i say EMORY deserves better than someone like will who would choose anyone be it alex, damon over emmy.

I just know if martin had been there and hit her in present chapter se would have done nothing.

So yeah thats why i never hate aydin for hitting will.

In this series i hate all the man, just like you.

But the thing is i LOVED kai at first, then he showed why i shouldn't.

So yeah they all can die.

Pd did a poor than poor job writing willemmy, okay so the fandom wants alex, let me write her for half the book,

The fandom wants damon and rika, like me, here we have 4 or 5 chapters for them

O willemmy? Its their book right? Yeah well no one said that they want to read them to me. Duh... i will ignore them, what other option do i have?.

I think will is romantic, i think he is the most romantic of all the horsemen, and i can never forget how he danced in front of the entire cafeteria to make emmy smile when he thought she was sad.

Its just we don't get to see it, we all have to accept the fact that pd don't love kaibanks and willemmy and we are never getting anything about them. If only someone stops thinking about rika,damon and alex in all scenarios this series would have been amazing and not grated on my nerves.

YES! Emmy is not innocent either but atleast we know from her pov what she feels, Will's pov were all him acting like a little bitch. And that short admission of his was so weird.

I have this feeling pd went out of their way to make thing infuriating in this book on purpose. How can you compare alex to emmy.

Will was a let down but only in present.

I don't need groveling, all i need is 3 or 4 chapters of will being true to his feelings, telling em straight forward that he loves em not alex he don't want her. Treat em right for once.

Even aydin treated em better than will and he was not her love interest, will was.

All throughout nightfall i was waiting for that 1 chapter of willemmy alone and in disgustingly in love. But we didn't.

As for this series, pd did not do good with backgrounds and plotline, there were soooooooo many loopholes.

And it was soooooo obvious who their favorite character are.

Favoritism is what killed this series.

I liked reading these books the curious factor was there but why would you write a book if you clearly hate both the fmc and mmc is beyond me.

So yeah it is great but not for me, i hope others like it.

I am here just because i can't get willemmy out of mind 😭😅.

The characters i like-

Banks, Emmy,Micah,Rory, Emmy's college roommate ( she was the true girls girl)

Worse characters-

Alex wins the crown, i definitely see a divorce

Aydin

The horsemen

Rika, its just because of favoritism.

She had 5 books for her while others barely hat 0.5.

Okay my ranking-

The horsemen (some is holding a gun at my head, i am joking obviously)

Daddy issues- kai

Will

Damon

Michael

The girls, i refuse to call them cowgirls

1. EMMY( she is my baby)

2. Banks

3. Winter, because i have neutral feelings towards her

4. Rika

In hell burning- Alex, who never told a girl about rapist

As for Will, i like the past will, i like the will in fire night. But the present will can die.

Even the past will is going to judge present will.

That's all from me, thanks for this ask, feel free to send more 😊 if you want.

[brighterdaysarebeforeus]

And now…the escape!

(Also we say yes to magic because it’s an important part of the story anyway but no to any other powers)

@hobiesgender @royallydivinelesbian

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Two weeks in, and Miles felt like he was going crazy.

There were so many people in the castle. So many more than he was used to. The hallways were filled with constant talking, laughing, even explosions, inexplicably, and Miles couldn’t even manage to get a moment to himself at all. He still attended both weekly meetings when they happened, but the rest of the time, he felt like he was stretched too thin.

There was Kate, and William (who preferred Billy), but there was also Thomas Shepard (who went by Tommy, and they were somehow related but not? Miles couldn’t tell, despite them looking exactly alike), Theodore Altman (Teddy), America Chavez, Elijah Bradley, David Alleyne, and several other people Miles couldn’t remember. It was actual insanity in the castle, and Miles couldn’t even tell Pavitr about it because he hadn’t had a chance to see his friend for more than ten minutes at a time at any given moment. The rest of his time was spent with everyone else, who were actually trying to marry him.

He and Kate usually were outside together, because archery was her true pride and passion; Miles…was not the best at it, unfortunately, and a lot of their time together was spent with Kate trying to hide her laughter behind her hand at his absolutely dismal performances. Billy had magic, which infuriated Miguel because he’d technically brought in a weapon with his staff during that first meeting; he showed off his magic a lot to Miles, but Miles felt he was more interested in Teddy, who seemed to reciprocate that interest as subtly as he could, considering.

America had a younger sister she talked about constantly, and she always seemed to be narrowly avoiding mentioning her own parents, and she and Elijah were constantly grappling in the courtyard. Actually, for the most part they all congregated in the courtyard, and Miles spent his time moving between groups to talk and spend time with everyone.

Tommy was very overconfident in himself, and very quick on his feet, and Miles watched as he showed off every so often for David, who seemed to appreciate the attention; both of them seemed to have to remember at times that they were here for Miles, though Miles honestly didn’t care all that much because, again, it’s not like it was his idea for him to get married.

And all that energy followed them into the dining hall when they had dinner, and the sitting rooms, and the library, and the —

The point was, Miles was going insane.

He waited until dark one night, listening at his door after what felt like another day of nothing but chaos, and waited until he was certain everyone was asleep before creeping out of his room. It was actually nice to be walking around the empty hallways with nothing but silence, and Miles let himself wander them serenely; every so often, he ducked into the shadows to hide from the patrolling guards, knowing they would report to Miguel and Miguel would tell his parents and then Miles would get in trouble. Perks of living in the castle his entire life meant that Miles knew each rotation of the guard, each routine they went through, everything like that. Made it easy for nights like tonight, where he was restless and aimless in his wandering.

Aimless, that is, until he passed by the open door that led to the back courtyard, where everyone congregated. Miles paused, staring out at the dark blue sky for a long moment before he made his way outside. The night was dark and cool, stars dotting the sky but just a sliver of a moon out to shine any sort of light. Miles closed his eyes, standing in the middle of the courtyard for a moment to just…soak in the peace. Then he pressed onwards, walking through the gardens that surrounded the courtyard and trailing his fingers over the flowers; it felt like nobody wanted to walk through the gardens with him, and Miles missed it fiercely. The silence was still soothing, all the way up until he hit the end of the garden and realized he was at the wall.

Miles pressed his fingers to the smooth stone, staring up at the top of it with wide eyes. He’d never been outside of the castle walls before; his parents had always insisted it was too dangerous, and Miguel reinforced that belief of theirs. Miles didn’t think he’d even seen the city beyond the walls from the castle, and he was suddenly hit with a fierce curiosity. Glancing around, he saw a tree that looked like it might give a good view over the wall, and Miles didn’t even think twice before he climbed up it. He didn’t stop until he was able to see over the wall, and he let out a breath once he actually did.

The city looked so far away, he thought, and it was late enough that there weren’t even any lights on. The weak moonlight meant that Miles could just barely make out the buildings that towered over other ones, and he wasn’t sure how long he’d stared at it from behind the palace walls before he noticed that the branch he was on was both sturdier than he’d realized…and much, much longer than he’d thought.

It went out over the top of the wall, and Miles stared at it with wide eyes. His heart racing in his throat, Miles turned to look behind him, staring at the unlit castle for a long moment before making an impulsive decision. He crawled forwards, not stopping until he got to the top of the wall, and sat on the cool stone. The drop down it was further than he’d expected, which disappointed him much more than he’d thought possible, until he glanced to the left and realized there was a medium sized building that didn’t look too far down.

Miles scooted carefully along the wall until he was able to line up with it better and, after another moment of hesitation, slid forward off the wall and dropped down onto it. There was a muffled ‘thud’ as he landed on the sturdy wooden rooftop, and he waited a few moments to see if anyone would come out. When nobody did, he crawled to the edge of the roof and peered over it, trying to gauge the distance down.

That didn’t look too bad either, and so he slide off the side of the building and huddled against the wall. Miles looked up, staring with wide eyes as he realized…

He did it. He was out of the castle, unaccompanied and on his own, for the first time in his life. Unable to help himself, Miles let out a quiet laugh before turning his sights towards the city again. It didn’t look any closer, but Miles was suddenly very eager to get there, and very full of energy. Without a second glance back at the wall, he started walking forwards.

[malachiexists13]

4. "Less terrible than I imagined"

//tw: none

Notes: again, very rushed. Im sorry <3 Also ignore that it says "Lives in the UK" lmao

After rushing to get dressed, Y/n raced out of their dorm (with weird looks from Venti, ofc) and got to the library as quickly as they could. Yet they could not see Alhaitham anywhere? So, they decided to text him again.

Y/n turned off their phone, choosing to just leave him on read. How infuriating. They quickly made their way to where he had said he was, and of course, there he was. Sitting at the table nonchalantly with a book in hand. “You know, fuck you,” they said as they approached. “I believe you already said that to me once today.” “And I’m saying it again. Couldn’t have given me a warning ahead of time?” 

Alhaitham narrowed his teal gaze at them, “What? Going to say you were doing something of greater importance than this project?” Y/n startled, and took a seat next to him, “Well… no. But it would’ve been nice to have some warning.” “I’ll take that into consideration. Now, we have a project to focus on, do we not?” Y/n rolled their eyes, but grabbed out their supplies. The sooner this was over with, the sooner they’d never have to speak with him again. 

Time seemed to fly by as Y/n and Alhaitham became engrossed into the project, and soon, it was much later than originally anticipated. The clock read 7pm, and the sun had already set. The library was scheduled to close within the next 30 minutes. Alhaitham glanced out the nearby window and sighed, before packing up his stuff. “Come on, I’ll walk you home.” he told them. But Y/n was quick to shake their head, “No need. I’ll be fine.” “I forced you to come out so late. It’s the least I can do as whatever apology you’re after.” 

Seeing that arguing was futile, Y/n agreed. An uncomfortable silence infiltrated and polluted the air as the two walked side by side back to Y/n’s apartment building. Alhaitham didn’t seem to be one for small talk, nor did Y/n have any interest in conversing with him. But even so, things still felt awkward. But suddenly-- “You know, Y/n.. You’re more knowledgeable than I gave you credit for. Infact, I look forward to completing our project.” 

Y/n stiffened, “Did… Did you just compliment me?” “..Is it so strange for me to do so? I was only acknowledging your intelligence.” He questioned, confusion etched ever so lightly across his features. “I suppose I just didn’t expect it.. I’d always heard about how rude you are.” “Rude? I’m not being rude, I’m being honest. If that is considered ‘rude’ then I suppose some people are too emotionally fragile.” “Anddd there’s the Alhaitham we all know.” 

Despite his attitude and quick mood changes, perhaps Alhaitham wasn’t so bad to be around. Perhaps once one got used to his incredible “uniqueness.” 

As Y/n walked into their room, their phone buzzed. Turning it back on, there was a text from Scaramouche.

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Taglist: @chosomybeloved @swivy123 @ayanokomu @ghostlysyntaxed @deathkat657 @hey-comrade-hold-stil @caffeine-mess

[trans-axolotl]

Sorry that this topic is heavy, but your posts are always very well thought out and I value your insight and antipsych perspective. What are your thoughts on some countries (now possibly including canada) allowing medically-assisted euthanasia for young mentally ill people if they request it? There was a story recently about a belgian terror attack victim being euthanized at 23 at her request. I personally believe that committing suicide is a right that every person should have because I think that punishing suicide attempters is the worst thing you can do for them, and ultimately, it’s their life and they deserve ultimate autonomy over it. Not that I think suicide should be encouraged, either, and having a specific government-endorsed suicide program seems sort of bad…? Like euthanizing young people comes with a lot of ethical complications — but I don’t know how to express why it feels weird given my personal beliefs about suicide being a right. (additionally, it feels even weirder because I do support these types of programs for the elderly (although i know what an ethical minefield those are too)). What are your thoughts?

Hey, anon. Thanks for bringing this up!

I have a lot of mixed thoughts about MAID (Medical assistance in dying) and also about what it means to consider suicide a right and in what ways I think that should play into mad organizing.

Firstly, I think the way that Canada's bill C-7 was written and the way it's being put into practice is just blatant eugenics. The rhetoric while legislators were debating and passing the bill made it clear the way they saw disabled lives as unworthy. In a context where many disabled people are forced to live in poverty, where treatment is often impossible to reach, where accessible affordable housing is often nonexistent, where the medical system is filled with ableism and stigma--it is incredibly fucked up to add suicide as an option on the table when there are so many coercive factors at play. Instead of working to make society more accessible and do things that improve the quality of life of disabled people of any age, the government and doctors are using MAID as a way to completely ignore structural ableism and spread narratives that disabled lives are not worth living. I am incredibly, incredibly infuriated about the way MAID was expanded in Canada. I would recommend that people check out the amazing work of the Disability Fillibuster to learn more about MAID in Canada.

Although I don't think every instance of MAID is inherently unethical, I am VERY wary of any bills that expand MAID like Bill C7 because I think that in the context of an ableist society that already doesn't consider disabled lives worth living and tells marginalized people every day millions of reasons why they wish we were dead, MAID bills will come with dangerous levels of coercion that cannot be safeguarded against. For example, the American medical system, with a long history of eugenic sterilization, medical experimentation on Black Americans, and widespread institutionalization, is not a system I ever trust to be able to handle the power of MAID without treating marginalized people's lives as disposable. (Link to read more about the history of medical experimentation: content warning for antiblack racism, sexual exploitation, slavery, and medical abuse of many types. )

At the same time, I am deeply invested in noncarceral approaches to suicide, and I believe that in order to effectively fight against psychiatric incarceration, we have to expand our understanding of the right to autonomy. The psych system, like many institutions of total control, weaponizes a fake concept of safety to justify depriving people of autonomy. In the context of prison abolition, Mariame Kaba and Andrea J. Ritchie use the phrase "carceral safety" to talk about the ways that police use the rhetoric of "safety" to continue perpetuating a violent system of incarceration:

"The state’s carceral safety robs our communities of the conditions and nutrients that would allow true safety to grow, forcing us into the position of constantly reaching for more security from the very institutions that make us collectively less safe." (from Reclaiming Safety, August 2022).

Similarly to police and prisons, the psych system wants us as mentally ill people to believe that the only way safety and suicide prevention can occur is within institutions where autonomy is deprioritized and any kind of abuse is acceptable if it can be explained as a "life-saving" measure. So part of noncarceral suicide prevention involves rethinking the way we think about autonomy, and prioritizing autonomy and freedom as inherent rights, regardless if people are making risky or harmful choices about their own wellbeing. Suicide should never be criminalized and I think that a step towards decarcerating suicide requires us to embrace the importance of autonomy.

Rethinking autonomy to include the right to harm ourselves is something that I think is an important topic to grapple with in noncarceral suicide prevention, but I think it's one we also have to be careful with and approach with a lot of nuance when talking about it publically. Approaching suicide prevention with a bodily autonomy framework does not mean that we need to support government-sanctioned suicide, does not mean we need to advocate for eugenic policies, does not mean that we should advocate suicide for marginalized people who are already so used to being told that the world wants them dead. Suicide prevention is incredibly important to me, and it will never feel liberatory to me if I'm using my understanding of bodily autonomy to promote suicide in any way. Liberatory suicide prevention includes more than just noncarceral crisis response and helping people map through their distress. It also includes advocating for the material conditions we need to survive in our everyday life, and in my mind, that includes things like advocating for disabled people to have our basic needs met so that we don't have to live in poverty, inaccessible housing, and aren't coerced into suicide through eugenicist bills like Bill C7 in Canada.

Definitely think there is a LOT more to say on this topic and that my opinion is not the only way of looking at this, so I absolutely encourage followers to jump into the discussion.

[nctjpeg]

ok one more thing i swear I SWEAR and then i’m probably done talking about this I think

but UGHHHH when everything was going to hell i remember multiple of their friends being like “please don’t let this make you feel like you aren’t enough” and i’m so fucking angry because I KNOW i’m enough, and despite my deep personal flaws I’m actually rad as hell. I have 2 college degrees, a salaried job in the field I studied in college that people say is “so cool” whenever I talk about it, a decently decorated apartment that I live in and pay for on my own, I have a fantastic group of friends, I am constantly showered in compliments about my looks, fashion, dance moves, and makeup, my second language is Japanese (even though I suck at it) and I’ve been there twice, I’m funny, charming, incredibly intelligent, kind to a fault (until you piss me off), creative, strong, hardworking, considerate, and not to mention beautiful enough to reportedly make people nervous when they look at me.

What makes me so infuriated is HOWWWWW can I be all of these things and still be treated as disposable? HOW MUCH MORE do I, or ANY PERSON, need to be before it’s finally enough for motherfuckers like the one who broke my fucking heart on Saturday. WHYYYYY did they do all that shit they did if they were just going to throw me away in the end and WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK do they feel they’re entitled to? Deep down I don’t think they had malicious intent, but it feels so fucking evil to me how they met me not even a month after my breakup, I told them about what I had been through with my ex-boyfriend and my ex-best friend, communicated to them about my fears surrounding the mere concept of letting them into my life as a friend, and yet they still ended up treating me like that.

I can’t say I don’t know where I went wrong, because I knew if I didn’t get my emotions under control and stop asking them constantly for reassurance that it would ultimately drive them away as i’m sure it made me more trouble than I was really worth. I’m also really sad because when we first met and started hanging out I LOVED the vibe we shared and how our personalities played off of each other. I noticed similarities we had in our lives and related to the struggles they had been through. I had so much fun being with them and I was so excited for us to build and create a deep and meaningful friendship. I wanted fun adventures, I wanted us to watch our favorite movies together, I wanted us to have a silly girly slumber party because I don’t think they had ever had one before, I wanted us to craft our own inside jokes and make more silly memes of ourselves and our cats to send each other, I wanted them to tell me more about their culture, I wanted us to hang out and practice dance moves to bust out at the goth club, I wanted them to INCLUDE ME in their anime convention shenanigans, I wanted to go to walmart with them and pal around while running errands the same way the do with their bros, but in the blink of an eye it went from “let’s hang out multiple times a week and I can’t wait for us to do all of this stuff together!” to hardly seeing them, watching them flirt with other girls, and them really only messaging me to keep our snap streak going.

yeah I wanted to date them once upon a time, and i’m sure everyone thinks i’m hurting solely because of that, but in reality romantic relationships really mean dick to me. I’ve only had 3 significant others and 2 of those were in my life for a month or so. I didn’t start dating until I was 20, and all of my significant personality-defining relational trauma came from friendships, not lovers. In my mind, friendship can involve far more emotional depth and commitment than dating someone. If we had just stayed casual sex partners (which is what I was looking for initially) or maybe dated for a few months and then it not work out, that’s whatever. But for them to tell me “I consider you one of my closest friends” and then Not Fucking Treat Me Like It? That’s a goddamn war crime level offense in my eyes.

[thestalwartheart]

For the fic reader ask meme, would love to have your thoughts on 2 and 15 if you feel so moved! 💜

From the fic reader ask meme.

Hi @aniron48! Thanks for jumping into my asks! These are great questions. 💜💜💜

2. what is your favorite ship dynamic? do you have a type?

Where's that post that says the best ship dynamic is Character A who shuts themselves off from everyone and thinks they're unlovable and Character B, who takes one look at them and thinks "Regrettably, that one. That's the one I want."

It's all about finding someone who helps you see your own self worth, and loves you even when you have no sense of it.

Unparalleled. Perfect. Even better if they're both like that.

15. what rarepair you think has a lot of potential

Bond x Moneypenny, and how it's a rarepair baffles me. The angst potential from Skyfall and Spectre alone is incredible.

She kills him, then pulls him back into life in Macau. That there is a story.

I've always thought that after That Scene, she wanted him to realise the value of his own life, and to live it in a way that didn't destroy him. But there's only so long you can wait around for a man who is so busy running off with other women that he never notices you, and there's only so long you can try to help someone who doesn't want to be helped. So she moves on and starts dating again, at which point he gets petulant and nosy about it (see the car chase scene in Spectre), which !!!!! Infuriating! Delicious! Give me all of it.

(Also, think about it from his perspective - just as he's starting to tackle thoughts about his last mission and retirement, the one woman who has been a constant for him in a really rough time - and who got out of the game with her soul in tact - moves on with someone else).

And we always talk about the delicious 00Q angst at the end of Spectre, but has anyone considered Moneypenny? The woman who has been there professionally and personally for Bond when no-one else has. The woman who has been trying to get him to take care of himself since she went to Macau. And in the end, despite him being weird about her dating men other than him, she has to watch him run off for good with Madeleine Swann, who he's known about three days*

The potential is off the charts.

Thanks again for the ask!

*probably longer but, you know, we're on Bond time. Also, no shade to Madeleine, it's not her fault Bond is an impulsive bastard.

[sorrengailherondale]

I personally absolutely loved fourth wing. Spoilers ahead

Violet had Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, and it is something that is written very well into the book (though at some points it's sort of ignored, though, I think that's actually good.) As someone who has egelrs Danlos syndrome, the struggles of the disease are so clearly written by someone who gets it. Violets talk with Mira with the premise of "nothing will really fix me" is so relatable I nearly cried, and that with her insecurity "what if underneath all the frail joints and brittle bones, was just more weakness" again **chefs kiss** The author even manages to play in with mobility aids in the context of a dragon riding college with Violets saddle, and Tairn telling her that she's worked harder than anybody else, and just because her body is different doesn't mean she should reap the benefits of hard work. This is what originally drew me to this book, and makes violet easily the most relatable character I've ever read, "You look all frail and breakable, but you're a violent little thing" could be my motto for life.

"should I call the wing leader" is one of my favorite lines, and Dragon sass and mockery is a staple. In much of the fanfic, it's the key reason to read

Did I see Brennan being alive coming? Yes. Did I see Dain's betrayal coming? Yes. Did I see Liam's death? Yes. None of this makes the book less compelling. The only thing that concerns me is the length of this series-- Vi and Xaden are basically already together and Dain has already shown his true colors? Why not drag it out some more? (Though personally more dragging if the Xaden and vi may have killed me) It's like showing your hand too early, though maybe this is all just the tip of the iceberg

Lilith Sorrengail was trying to kill her daughter with the rain on that parapet, maybe it was bc of the book, maybe something else, but the fact that Violet doesn't catch into that is infuriating, considering how observant and resourceful she is

On that note... I wanted Xaden to seem more awful. Like maybe not show his true intentions so much until the end of the book... But writing worlds like this takes time

Also-- I don't know why people are so flipped out about their modern behaviours despite a non-modern setting... Who cares? Personally, I find the modern things like (sometimes unnecessary) swearing, mocking each other's sex lives, and common phrases make fantasy books easier to deal with, the old timey stuff drives me up the fricking wall.

I hope we get more of the political climate and manipulation in the next books, it's also very obvious that violet will be going back to Basgiath, probably lying to everyone and keeping Dain fucking Aetos from touching her at all costs. What I want out of that off the bat is more character development for Rhiannon (I don't think the lack of this was accidental, leaving more page space for it in the next book,) a big falling out with Dain where hopefully violet can control her lightning and he realizes she is a true threat, and another falling out with her mother, I NEED more Mira, the Mira-Brennan- Violet-Lilkith angle is one Im dying to see. How will Mira react? How will Lillith- knowing her son is not only alive, but left her and her husband to join a rebellion that supposedly killed his and (is implied to have) caused the heart failure of her husband? I want Mira in the rebellion too, Mira realizes the reality of who her mother is, but there should be pushback

[hudbannonarchive]

it’s insane and more than a little infuriating that we can so easily identify when a male director or some other ~auteur~ is exploiting the people who work under him, specifically the women, yet we’re never allowed to have any real conversation around it because we know that they’re going to continue to receive carte blanche so long as whatever product they’re making is successful and, more importantly for the purposes of this post, the defense of separating the art from the artist is always going to be used to choke any and all reasonable criticism. you hear this a lot when men talk about stanley kubrick, shelley duvall, and the shining. “well she agreed to do the movie”/“he’s a genius”/“it’s one of the most important horror movies of all time.” like you’d be very hard pressed to get even the faintest acknowledgment that kubrick’s film (which, yes, is a masterpiece) is the result of her human suffering just as much as it’s a result of his genius, if not more.

but anyway i was thinking about this more specifically with sam levinson, who is by now well known for his fascination with seeing young women being exploited. there are a lot of reasons why young girls are attracted to his work, it’s very trendy, but i also think for a lot of us there is an impulse to see the exploitation we face in real life and the traumas that come with it exist in a space outside of our own minds. seeing it on screen makes it tangible, it’s an acknowledgment that our suffering is real and it’s horrifying. so as bad as it might sound, i’m not actually against depicting women’s suffering on film even thought i know what a slippery slope it can be. this is one of the reasons i’m so drawn to david lynch, and a reason so many other women are, too. he has the same interest in exploring how young women are taken advantage of by the society that they live in but he’s coming at it from a much more empathetic place. twin peaks is about a young woman suffering under an unrelenting torrent of trauma and abuse, yet very rarely are we shown that abuse. lynch is less preoccupied with the events themselves and much more interested in what comes later. how do the women in these stories cope with what’s been done to them, how does the world around them shift and distort as they become increasingly aware that there’s no way to escape the horror, how does the society they live in turn a blind eye to, or facilitate, their misery? and in the rare moments that he is willing to show the abuse it’s raised to a level of pure horror. the scene where maddy is killed, or the scene where bob crawls over laura’s body while she’s sleeping in bed are both gut wrenching and so so hard to watch, you feel just as out of control and helpless as those women do.

but sam levinson isn’t interested in these emotions, he doesn’t even seem to have a larger idea beyond some superficial “we live in a society” nonsense. it’s honestly a little embarrassing to consider how much praise he’s gotten when he attacks every social issue he tries to address in his work with all the subtlety of an episode of glee. and the worst part of all of this to me is that his obsession with seeing women degraded translates to the very real exploitation of his employees who cannot publicly speak out against him without being written off as difficult or unreasonable or not understanding the artistic process. his actresses are subjected to an excessive degree of nudity, asked to give intense and difficult performances for characters who aren’t three dimensional enough to warrant the work, and even beyond that he exploits his employees through the unprofessional environment he creates on set where he refuses to adequately plan and prepare for the shooting and production of his projects. workers on his sets are completely at the whim of his artistic impulses, which means long hours shooting scenes over and over and over again and being denied the most basic protections, like bathroom and meal breaks.

and even when you do see criticism of sam levinson it very rarely touches on the core of the issue: the exploitation, and more specifically the exploitation of women. it’s actually kind of crazy to see how people hover around the issue, usually coming to the conclusion that he’s just an asshole and control freak rather than someone who’s actually causing real harm to the people in his employ. and the reason they refuse to acknowledge this is because if they did they would have to acknowledge how often it happens elsewhere in the industry, and eventually come to the conclusion that it’s a systemic issue rotting them from the inside out.

[sevicia]

Idk if I ever mentioned but I started listening to Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata yesterday and finished it today. It's very short, exactly 3 hrs 22 mins, and I really really liked it

My favorite part of the book was how Keiko behaved and spoke and thought, because it felt really familiar. Stuff like mimicking others' behavior to "fit in" (speech patterns, fashion choices, etc.), and of finding ?comfort? in a set environment such as the convenience store. I don't know if it can be accurately called "comfort", because while it IS a set routine, something to base her entire life around, it is, at the same time, oppressive in the way that it becomes her whole world and dictates everything from her eating habits to her speech patterns.

Keiko says a lot that, in the convenience store, they are only convenience store workers. Not men or women or any other identifiable quality, just workers, and I found that an interesting way to view it because when it gets broken near the end of the book, she is very upset about it. Being upset when something you convinced yourself of (with basis, yes, but still not 100% true in practice), is broken, is very understandable, but the way that she became so agitated, didn't understand why everyone had changed, and kept insisting on following the convenience store routine, made the thought of her being autistic really solidify in my head.

Because she mimicks other people, doesn't understand most social cues (the ones she understands, she has been taught), and also doesn't understand the reason behind people's attitudes when they change suddenly, not to mention her apparent lack of empathy at the beginning of the book (towards the bird and her classmates) and throughout it. She's autistic as fuck imo but I could be wrong.

Also, on the topic of sexuality, she is 100% aroace, like there is no room for doubt there. This results in trouble for her, being a single woman living in Japan in her thirties, since all of her friends and her sister pressure her to get married or at least date somebody. This is obviously fucked up, but Keiko just sort of goes with it in hopes of becoming "normal".

There's also a lot of talk of Keiko being "cured" throughout the book, which, while already messed up, is even worse when you read her as having autism. We all know why.

On the topic of Shiraha, I fucking hated the guy (as anyone with half a braincell would). Literally an incel droning on and on about the stone age, about being the victim and about women not wanting him because they go for (basically) alpha men (he doesn't phrase it like this, but c'mon). He also berates Keiko time and time again, which she doesn't care about at all, but as a reader / listener, it's really infuriating, especially since the two things he shames her for are:

1. Being a single woman in her thirties

2. Working at a convenience store while in her thirties

Which is obviously misogynistic, and ageist, and I don't know if it's the right term, but also classist. He views convenience store workers, and most definitely all retail / "lower end" workers, as trash that will never get anywhere (as if HE'S going anywhere), and he also speaks frequently of how he is looked down upon for being a virgin at his age and then proceeds to do the same to Keiko. He's such a hypocrite it's unreal.

Another thing, the way that Keiko's friends consider her an outsider until she lies about having a boyfriend is really painful to read about when you're similar to her. I have this fear of forever being an "other", and this made me feel queasy.

While I couldn't relate to Keiko at 100%, I still could relate to her quite a bit, so it really hit close to home whenever she was told she was a nobody, that she would go nowhere in life, and other horrible things. Keiko herself doesn't seem to care about this, but I do.

A lot of people call this book disturbing while others call it funny. I don't know where I fall, but it's definitely not funny.

I think my only major gripe with the book was, for some reason, the way the title was translated. The original title (as said at the end of the audiobook), is "Konbini Ningen". Which if I'm not wrong, translates literally to "Convenience Store Human". I like this better since it ties in with Keiko's view of herself as nothing but a convenience store worker, if not a "convenience store animal", as she says towards the end. However, "Convenience Store Human" doesn't have the same appeal as "Convenience Store Woman", so I can see why they went with that instead.

Anyways, I really enjoyed it. It felt oddly familiar, and was fun to listen to. I gave it 4.75 🌟 on Storygraph, because (I don't know why) it wasn't QUITE there for me. It might change in the future though idk.

If you read this whole thing:

1. you're insane a little bit

2. thank you

3. I love you. Here's your reward..... :

booboo wheel

[purplesurveys]

1604 - hi from 2023!

This past year...

who were your favorite singers, musicians, or bands? This just reminds me of how much my Spotify Wrapped struggled because the only thing they could recap for me is how much I listened to BTS and the boys’ 2022 solo ventures hahaha. But now that I think about it, there was also Beyoncé’s Renaissance. Other faves were Seventeen and NewJeans; and new discoveries I would say were Tiger JK, Paul Blanco, and SE SO NEON.

what were some of your favorite foods? If there was also a Food Delivery Wrapped, I’m so confident chicken and waffles would top my list lol. Apart from that, what I’m gonna say is gonna sound so basic lol but I think I ordered McDonald’s more times in 2022 than in my entire life overall; then for the last, it goes without saying but there was also sushi/sashimi.

what was your favorite dessert? Didn’t have many dessert discoveries this year although I did follow a ton of local bakeries that I just didn’t have the time to order from in 2022. In any case, my ‘favorite’ for the year would probably just be Starbucks’ chocolate chip macadamia cookie.

what was the best thing that happened to you? I’d say all the growth and experience I’ve gained from being a manager. I’ve talked about it before but my promotion was as premature as it gets – I was called to step up to the plate because nobody else was capable at such a critical time; nobody in the company gets promoted within a year. But I didn’t want to leave the group more shorthanded than we already were, so I took up the challenge and it’s only opened more doors and opportunities since then. 

Apart from that, finally being able to afford trips/vacations even if just out-of-town was also significant for me. I’ve gone to Zambales twice with friends this year, and first weekend of 2023 I am also taking my family to this quaint little place in Tanay for a quick weekend getaway, all out of my pocket. It feels great, not gonna lie!

what was the worst thing that happened to you? Kimi passing away. I couldn’t grieve him the way I would have wanted to because of work reasons that I am still and will always be infuriated about; though I made sure he got the farewell he deserved thanks to this superb pet cremation company that helped us out, even picking him up at 3 AM. That sweet, sweet boy...14 years by my side. I’m forever grateful.

how have you grown as a person? So much. I think 2021 me would be very shocked to find out how extroverted I became in the last 12 months.

what have you learned? That everybody puts their pants one leg at the time. Considering I used to be extremely shy at work (to the point where I was wondering why the fuck I wanted to be in PR), this was my most significant and most helpful learning for the year. I went from running away from clients and hiding behind my manager to being the first to argue with a client if I didn’t like what they were saying lol.

how old did you turn? 24.

what did you do for your birthday? On the day of, I rested at home and took my family out to a ramen dinner. That same weekend, my friends and I drove off to Zambales to get some lovely vitamin sea. Then I sprained my ankle heh.

what did you accomplish? Successfully held major events, bought a new phone, dyed my hair for the first time, DID NOT QUIT MY JOB(!!!), worked even more towards happiness. 2022 was definitely more of a business-as-usual year compared to 2021 but there were lots of good things that came out of it too. 

where did you live? Still at the same home I’ve lived in for 14 years.

who was your best friend? Angela, Reena, Andi.

This past year, have you....

made a new friend? Other than co-workers I’ve formed bonds with, not really.

lost a friend?

made a new best friend? I’d say Reena got ‘promoted’ to best friend status this year, haha. 2021 was largely a year of getting to know one another and just fangirling over the boys; but as I got more settled into the fandom, we were able to connect beyond BTS in 2022.

lost someone close to you? I lost a great-uncle this year. Was not necessarily close with him bond-wise as our blood relationship is already quite distant (he was a cousin of my late great-grandma), but he was family nonetheless.

attended a funeral?

attended a wedding?

gave birth to a child? 🤰

"came out of the closet"? More like threw out the closet, lol. I don’t give much thought to my orientation but I think I identify as asexual with straight tendencies now.

traveled? Little bit! Few out-of-town trips here and there.

felt depressed? 😔 I hit a low point sometime in June-July, same time as when Kimi passed. I was dissatisfied with my job which seemed to never cease giving me major things to work on all while forcing me to go overtime multiple times a week, and I didn’t have my best friend anymore. It really felt like drowning/suffocating at the time, but the difference I made this year is to ensure I was doing things to address the sadness instead of wallowing in it.

felt suicidal? 😔

felt happy? 😃 At many points throughout the year. I’m largely healed now which is great.

felt at peace? 😊 When I’m happy, I’m at peace.

felt overjoyed? 💃 Sure, I’m easy to please haha.

felt blessed? 😇

felt amazed? 🤩 ^ Samesies, I’m easy to impress.

fallen in love? 😍

had your heart broken? 💔 Kimi’s death.

got a new car? 🚗

graduated? 👩‍🎓

experienced something miraculous? ✨

had a better year than last year?

had a worse year than last year?

been to see the doctor? 👨‍⚕️ If the dentist counts, I went twice. Once to get a general cleaning done and the next was to get a wisdom tooth extracted.

been to the hospital? 🏥 To visit my mom after her breast surgery.

had a severe allergic reaction? 🤧

had COVID? 🦠

found out someone you knew had COVID? 🦠 A few people here and there.

used an epi pen? 💉

had a fever? 🥵

had a migraine? 🧠 Numerous times before clocking out of work. 8 hours of continuous screentime (sometimes more) can take such a toll on your head. Even threw up a handful of times.

gone on a date? 🌹

written in a journal or diary? 📔 This blog stayed updated, that’s for sure.

given someone a hug? 🤗 I love hugs.

cut your hair? 💇‍♀️ At a salon, yeah. I’d never touch my own hair lol.

danced around your living room? 💃 Just about every time there was a live online BTS concert.

prayed? 🙏

worshiped Jesus?

read the Bible? 📖

discovered a new favorite book? 📕

gone to church? ⛪️ We started going back to church i.e. face-to-face, this year.

went for a walk in the fall? 🍁

set up and decorated a Christmas tree? 🎄 Always do every year. We record the entire process in timelapse too because my mom likes posting it on Facebook.

threw up? 🤮 From both alcohol and work-induced stress/exhaustion, yep.

almost threw up? 🤢 From work, yes.

discovered a new music artist you really liked? 🎤 I’d say either Paul Blanco or SE SO NEON were my favorite discoveries of the year.

discovered a new song you really liked? 🎶 NewJeans’ Attention is crazy good.

seen snow? ⛄️

seen beautiful fall foliage? 🍁

gone to the beach? 🏝 Yesss, I went multiple times. 

rode a bike? 🚴

rode a horse? 🐎

swam? 👙 Every time I went to the beach.

worn makeup? 💄 For events and parties, yeah.

done a craft project? I started a paint-by-number this month.

made a scrapbook page?

written an essay? 📝 Many personal essays as I’m prone to letting out brainfarts about things I’m passionate about on social media. I’ve also penned a few articles for work.

painted something? 🎨 I painted the walls of my room a couple of days ago, and then there’s also the paint-by-number I mentioned.

drawn something? ✍️

sketched in a sketchbook?

written someone a letter? 📝 I always write short letters to people I give Christmas presents to.

been to a concert? 👩‍🎤 Not face to face ones, but I paid to see virtual concerts.

driven a car? 🚘 To get to just about anywhere, lol.

kayaked? 🛶

gone on a cruise? 🚢

made a big purchase? My phone.

moved to a new home? 🏡

got a new pet? We got Agi in April.

lost a pet? Kimi on June 10. Proof day; that’s why the album will always be bittersweet for me in many ways – the context behind it already is to begin with.

gotten a tattoo?

gotten a new piercing?

started a new hobby?

worn a mask? 😷 Every time I leave the house.

felt afraid to leave your house? Like I said in a previous survey, the one time I felt this way was when I learned about the shooting in Ateneo.

celebrated your birthday alone?

celebrated Christmas alone?

went for a long walk through the neighborhood? With the dogs, yeah.

Favorites of this Year (Pick one for each.)

Song: Run BTS, by BTS. I fought for that damn song the moment it came out when everybody else was paying attention to Yet to Come/For Youth and I feel fucking proud about it lol.

Book: I didn’t have one.

TV show: Our Beloved Summer was the one series I watched this year and I didn’t even finish it, lmao. It’s good though!

Youtube channel: Bangtantv saved my sanity at many points throughout 2022. I loved Josh and Ollie from Korean Englishman too.

Food: I was obsessed with chicken and waffles. Also got to try Panda Express for the first time and I’d say it’s definitely at least a top 10 placer when it comes to fave food this year.

Dessert: From this point onwards I’m taking this survey from 2023! Lmao I didn’t expect to be so busy on NYE. I didn’t have too many new sweets in 2022.

Drink: Water and peach soju.

Friend: Angela, always.

Thing you did: Trips with friends. Also that ‘talk’ I had with Kimi the night before he died – I knew he was fading away and knew he had less than 24 hours. So when everyone was asleep I got him alone in the living room and just talked, and talked and talked and talked to him. I knew I wouldn’t have wanted to say all my thanks the following day when my entire family would’ve already been there to count down the seconds before he went.

Place you went: San Felipe in Zambales. Best little hidden gem we accidentally discovered.

Person you spend time with: Myself.

Thing you did for your birthday: Went to the beach.

Celebrity: BTS.

Website: Spent so much time on YouTube and Twitter.

Emojis: The smiling with a single tear one is a good reaction for pretty much anything.

Colors: Purple.

Restaurant: The Swiss restaurant we dined at plus the rooftop restaurant/bar where my mom works were equally fantastic.

Tea flavor ☕️: I don’t drink tea.

Final Questions!

Would you say this past year has been a good year overall? It was great! But I also think I could have done more. I focused way too much on my promotion and not fucking up and trying to meet everyone at work’s expectations that I unwittingly sacrificed many things in my personal life and sometimes at the expense of my well-being too. It’s something I started to address and change by the end of the year, and something I’ll be even more aggressive about in 2023.

What are your goals for the new year? Actually have a financial goal, explore more new restaurants instead of going to the same places and ordering the same favorites, lesser inclinations to buy merch especially since the boys are on break. And update my closet!

How old will you turn next year? I’ll be 25! Did you make any big mistakes this past year? I was still really bad at saving. Do you have any big changes coming? I’ll have to see if this is the year I’ll be resigning.

How will you be celebrating New Year's Eve this year? That was last night - we hosted dinner for extended family, I skipped out on the 12 AM fireworks to be downstairs with the dogs and to serenade them with karaoke LOL, and I drank lots and lots of soju. What was the best day of this year for you, and why? October 15, enjoyed the Busan show with a group bigger than our usual.  What did you spend the most time doing this year? If not sleeping, working.

[theclaravita]

This problem is particularly prevalent in group homes and foster care.

I've had mental and physical health problems my entire life that people just kinda... Ignore? I'd love accommodation and assistance, but people refusing to acknowledge it is better than what happened when I was a kid.

As an adult, people generally won't look at you like "YOU FUCKED UP. YOU IDIOT. BETRAYAL!" because there's a non-zero chance you could just knock their fucking teeth out. Adults are scary to confront because they're... Adults.

But nobody is afraid of yelling at a child.

Why do we hold children to this standard of "you should know better" and yet adults get a pass like "eh whatever".

In the foster homes I grew up in, I couldn't ever tell the staff members that I had an accident in my pants or threw up in the bathroom or couldn't sleep.

If I had an accident it was CLEARLY because I was lazy or refused to go to the bathroom... Even though I've had a health condition my entire life where I have accidents on the reg.

If I threw up it was CLEARLY because I overate or was sneaking late-night snacks... Even though I was forced to be on medications I was allergic to and that wasn't even something the MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS WHO PRESCRIBED THE MEDS thought of.

If I couldn't sleep it was CLEARLY because I was staying up all night reading or playing GameBoy... Even though I was constantly having panic attacks, paranoid hallucinations, and various physical symptoms that made me unable to sleep more than an hour at a time.

I was blamed for every bad thing that happened to me, regardless of circumstance.

So now, as an adult with responsibilities and bills to pay, I don't talk to ANYONE about troubles I'm having. I just nut up and shut up, like I was TAUGHT BY MY ELDERS AS A CHILD.

"You can tell me anything!" ...translated to... "If you say the wrong words to me I will yell at you and take your privileges away and lock you in your room for three days."

Here's a list of things that my closest friends don't even know, and that comic has made me fucking infuriated I've never shared. I will also include why I've never shared them with anyone.

CONTENT WARNINGS rape | sexual, emotional, and physical abuse | suicide | life crises

I was held hostage in my own home in 2014 by a group of homeless drug sellers who beat me, dislocated my shoulder, tied me up, and raped me repeatedly. I've always been told that I was lying whenever I've talked about any of the crazy/bad things that have happened to me.

I was raped by my best friend in 2015 after he attempted suicide in my bed. Everyone in my friend group in California turned this around on me and blamed me for his suicide attempts before and after I fled the state. The concept that he'd raped me was never even considered a possibility; he was CLEARLY the victim, not me. I was just a "narcissistic liar" who abused him to kill himself.

My mother stole money from me my grandfather regularly committed Social Security fraud, both to keep me from becoming independent. If I were to tell my remaining family that they'd done this, they'd refuse to believe me and call me a liar.

I've funneled an asston of money into my stepdad's bank account in order to help pay the bills, even going so far as to overdraft to make sure I paid my portion of the bills. If I were to claim this, my family would call me a liar and blame me for our financial issues.

I've put in place measures to make sure my family and I aren't utterly fucked over when the money runs out in about two years. If my family found out, they'd claim that I have plans to abandon them and take everything for myself.

I have severe heart issues and likely won't live past 45 without a full transplant that I might not be eligible for. Clearly I'm a hypochondriac, despite the decade of medical records confirming my issues.

It's undiagnosed, but I might also have fibro myalgia. I'm always in constant pain almost all over my body. Constant burning and twinging just under my skin. Everyone is always in pain, right? So I should shut up and not make everything about myself, yeah? And I don't SEEM like I'm always in pain, so CLEARLY I'm lying.

I'm extremely sexually active, own multiple sex toys, and have been using masturbation to reclaim sexuality from my past abuse. The general mentality is that only degenerate pieces of shit look at porn and masturbate. You're a pig if you jack off and sex toys are only used by deviants, pedophiles, and rapists.

I've had feelings that I was transgender my entire life; I didn't just suddenly realize it last year. I've had a concept of "girl trapped in a boy's body" for most of my life, I just didn't have a word to describe it. I regularly lamented that I wished I was a girl as early as six years old. I've been called a queerbaiter and straight-presenting by almost everyone I've ever expressed this to, and that I'm only claiming to be trans to fit in and spite right-wingers.

I fully died for a few minutes when I was 22 because I had a heart attack. My housemate's friend was a practicing nurse and confirmed that I'd stopped breathing and I had no pulse. He saved my life with CPR. If he hadn't been asleep on the couch when I stumbled out of my room and collapsed in the living room, I would've absolutely died for good. I didn't even go to the hospital because I was worried that a 22-year-old having a heart attack would just be too unlikely and I would be turned away anyway... Even though it turns out that I've had severe heart problems my entire life.

I sold a ton of stuff on eBay that belonged to my dead family members in 2020 in order to pay our bills and keep our food stocks up when we had no income and all the moneymaking members of our household were either in the hospital or dead. I'm super afraid that my stepdad would throw hands at me if he found out, since some of the things I sold were my mom's collectibles that she absolutely adored. I have no evidence that he would actually even care, but the fear is still there.

its not funny but i do think about it a lot