#also in Russian my name has double l in the and | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

arcticdementor · 1 year ago

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I rather enjoyed Code Geass despite its many, many, many flaws, to a great extent because it's the only work I can really think of that takes the "Magneto side" of the Professor-X-vs-Magneto dynamic; and that the "change the system peacefully from within" guy knows, at some unconscious level, that his cause is hopeless and he's only sticking to it so strongly in hopes of fulfilling his deep-seated death wish.

That said, this also provides me the chance to mention something I've been meaning to post: the "Western names" bit. Code Geass is pretty bad on this front, but far from the worst, particularly when you note that a number of the odd given names are in fact real surnames, like Lelouch, Nunnally, and Rivalz — and there are plenty of Mackenzies, Kennedys, and Madisons out there. (There's no excuse for Schneizel, though.)

Gundam has some real weird ones — but then it has the whole "future sci-fi names" thing going (plus Casval's Obviously Fake Pseudonyms). The Nasuverse gets even weirder, but almost all of them are wizards, belonging to their own insular wizard culture (which apparently thinks names like "Sola-Ui Nuada-Re Sophia-Ri," "Darnic Prestone Yggdmillennia," "Marisbury Animusphere" and "Jubstacheit von Einzbern" are perfectly reasonable). But it's hard to top monikers like Freezing's Satellizer L. Bridget, or Baccano's Jacuzzi Splot.

Off and on for over a year now, I've been manually scraping various fandom wikis gathering a big list of "Western character names" from anime and manga (plus a couple of Chinese mobile games). I used to try feeding this list into a Markov chain (an order-3 character-by-character one) that I wrote up in javascript years ago. (Only, now the method I used to load the content of a text file into a javascript string variable is no longer supported in current browsers for security reasons, and I haven't figured out the modern replacement yet.)

While the results were a lot of gibberish, or else just names from the list recreated, I did occasionally get some notable results, the top examples of which I have saved, and will now present here for your amusement (with some commentary in square brackets):

Aenola von Zeppendelg [very much in keeping with the common pseudo-German pseudo-nobility thing]

Albridge Kiddenburg

Arcia di Raine

Argriffon O'Land

Arslina S. Drostor

Barth Bazilvato

Beatt Shake [And here's the "random English words as name" entry]

Bennia Rodriscogne

Britz Shaftman [The Engrish is strong with this one]

Charcia Harony

Cony Blandoba

Dance Octus ["random English word as name" take two]

Donova B. Kylenberg

Eleary von Jose [presumably pronounced, in the German manner, as /ˈjoː.zə/, not Spanish /xoˈse/]

Elith Gassenbereson

Elynn Breelson [I can easily see someone spelling "Ellen" that way]

Elysitra C. Shamburg

Emillenda Framón

Esmelia Rotobine

Eugraclavia A. Irew ["Eugraclavia" is so very an anime character name]

Fairention Ohank-Albareaux [And just where on Earth — or what other planet — would this name be from?]

Fleur Gascard [Some of them are quite normal and reasonable, occasionally]

Gadokie Pickle [This remains my absolute favorite]

Grunessa Orvestat

Harlette Walkenzeed

Henry Cygnallia

Ingarune la Celyn

Jando Abengau

Judiadonne Winneström

Juliya Kriegor [Not quite Russian, not quite German…]

Kate Clockmorster [I can totally see "Clockmorster" as a surname descended from some obscure Medieval profession.]

Kihamerica Nöll

Larastra Beeferrie

Larcia Armondick

Lelotte von Bolivia [Interestingly, "Bolivia" does not appear in the source text — it looks to be composed via overlapping substrings from "Bolic" and "Olivia"]

Levy Kravendy [This one's fun to say out loud]

Locket Squit ["random English word" take 3, with added Jacuzzi Splot-level silliness]

Lucy Donatalis

Makia J. Grave

Marinico Fordy

Maristephiez Twift

Maxwelle Frantallia [I can totally see someone using "Maxwelle" as a feminine form of Maxwell]

Melo Mirulyne-Krugelweizer [What even is that double surname?]

Nemaillia Folkwyb

Neodylan Vladivlad [My second favorite; should totally be a Gundam character]

Orgo MacNear

Pronch Dorelet

Redis Schrönn

Riddy Mirard

Roberg Asberg

Roston Knutmight [Put "Knutmight" up there with "Clockmorster"]

Sephild Waldarl

Shakira Öswell [Not only is "Shakira" not in the original list, it looks to have required substrings from three different names to produce]

Sharlee Albertoilenda

Sila Medrini

Solenno Bastarosa

Susie Gloristophilia [The juxtaposition of the perfectly normal given name with ridiculously-implausible surname]

Syda Barters

Sylpha Martlee

Tequille Richenhein [Like "tequila" crossed with "Shaquille"]

Thorna Fiorrevík

Timmy Squimpton

Uriam Sisguy

Vans Torris ["random English word" take 4]

Wulf Lavenicoda

Yagelas Lusilovsky

Ziske Oxforton [Would this supposedly be British?]

Will we ever get anything quite like Code Geass again?

I don't think it's possible.

Code Geass is Japanese nationalist propaganda disguised as a global political drama, disguised as a military mecha show, disguised as yaoibait, disguised as a teen melodrama, disguised as a high school romcom, disguised as a Pizza Hut commercial...

...except those layers aren't layers at all, but are instead comingled in a giant snake ball of insanity.

The lead writer, Ichirō Ōkouchi, only ever worked as an episode writer for other shows prior to Code Geass, and never took the helm of an anime series ever again. And it shows.

The minute-to-minute pacing is impeccable from a mechanical standpoint, with tension and stakes rising to ever-higher peaks, balanced out by the slow simmers of the b-plot and c-plot. It keeps the viewer on the edge of their seat at all times. Meanwhile, the large-scale plot is the most off-the-wall middle school nonsense I've ever seen, continually surprising the viewer by pulling twists too dumb to have ever have been on their radar—and therefore more effective in terms of raw shock value.

"Greenlight it!" was the mantra of this anime's production. It must have been. It has, in no particular order, all of the following:

Character designs from CLAMP, the foremost yaoi/BL group in Japan at the time—for characters who are only queer insofar as they can bait the audience, and only straight insofar as they can be more misogynist to the female cast.

Speaking of the female cast, hoo boy the fanservice. We've all seen anime girls breast boobily, with many cases more egregious than Code Geass, but there's something special about it happening immediately after—or sometimes in the middle of!—scenes of military conflict and ethnic cleansing.

Pizza Hut product placement everywhere, in every conceivable situation. High-speed chases, light slice-of-life scenes, intimate character moments, all of it. Gotta have Pizza Hut.

The anime-only Pizza Hut mascot, Cheese-kun. He wears a fedora.

The most hilarious approximations of European names—which I would love to see more often, frankly. Names like, I dunno, "Count Schnitzelgrübe zi Blanquezzio."

A depiction of China that is wholly removed from any modern reality, with red-and-gold pagodas, ornamental robes, scheming eunuchs, and a brainwashed child empress. There's a character named General Tsao, like the chicken.

Inappropriate free-form jazz in the soundtrack, intruding at the most unexpected times.

A secret cabal not unlike the Illuminati, run by an immortal shota with magic powers, holding influence all across the world, at the highest levels of government. They matter for approximately three episodes.

An unexpected insert scene of a schoolgirl using the corner of a table to masturbate. She's doing it to thoughts of her crush, the princess Euphemia—because she believes Euphemia to be as racist as she herself is, and that gets her off. This interrupts an unrelated scene of our protagonist faction planning their next move, which then resumes as if uninterrupted.

Said schoolgirl, in a fit of hysteria, threatens to detonate a worse-than-nuclear bomb in the middle of her school. She then goes on to develop an even more destructive version of that bomb, and become a war criminal, in a chain of cause-and-effect stemming from the moment she finds out that Euphemia wasn't actually that racist.

A character called "the Earl of Pudding."

A premise that asks us to believe that the name Lelouch is normal enough that he didn't need to change it when he went into hiding as an ordinary civilian. "No, that's not Prince Strimbleford von Vanquish! That's our classmate, Strimbleford Smith."

The collective unconscious, a la Carl Jung, within which the protagonist fights his villainous father for control over the fate of humankind. After this is over, the anime just keeps going for about ten more episodes.

An episode in which a mech tosses a giant pizza.

A gay yandere sleeper agent who can manipulate the perception of time.

Chess being played very badly, even to the untrained eye. Lelouch frequently checkmates his opponent by moving his king. This goes hand-in-hand with the anime's crock of bad chess symbolism.

A fictional drug that can most succinctly be described as "nostalgia heroin."

Roller-skating mecha in knightly armor, and some of the most sickass mecha fight choreography that I've seen.

I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. This anime is what the average Westerner in 2006 thought anime was, and it was made in a confluence of factors that cannot be replicated. I've never had so much fun watching something that I found so... insulting. Repugnant. Ridiculous. Baffling. I love it sincerely.

Catch me cosplaying Lloyd Asplund at a con sometime, or maybe even the big gay loser himself, Lelouch vi Britannia.

#anime #markov chain #names #random text generator #silly

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yesokaythatsfine69 · 4 years ago

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Moments in-between

Description: HC's of aot characters that are all kinda madly in love with y/n, if only just in different ways. Aspects of Modern au.

Character(s): Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Marco, Sasha, Connie, Historia, Ymir, Annie, Reiner, Bertholdt, Levi, Erwin, Hanje

POV: 2nd, 3rd

Warning(s):

A/n: I know I said that I was ending my aot works but after the last episode's intense trauma I need some home groan therapy. Also please don't make fun of me for misspelling both Bertolt and Hange's names continually. Enjoy

Word Count: x

Song: lmao listen to everywhere I go by Hollywood undead.

*none of the gifs used are mine, full credit goes to the maker.

Y/n invites the AOT gang to a party.

You looked around for your friends, having foolish lost track of the chaotic group after you paused to hang your coat up. You warned them all to remain close, these college parties tended to get a little wild for your liking, but of course, they were all too stubborn.

"Hey you! I already said that we weren't playing Lady Gaga here!" Your ears prickled, and you turned, seeing Hanje at the DJ's box. You quirked a brow but made a mental note of where she was for later.

You moved on, searching for the rest of your friends. You opened the door to a bathroom, finding several girls hunched over, puking into the toilet, sink, and tub. Erwin was standing in the midst of the chaos, holding their hair as they drunkenly emptied their guts.

"Erwin? We've been here five minutes!" Erwin looked up at your newfound appearance. "Y/n! Quick, I think something in their drinks made them sick, you need to warn the other people at this party!" You met his blue eyes, "What?" He made a motion with his right hand, accidentally tugging on a girl's hair and bobbing her head. "Hey!" She squeaked before puking again. "Hurry, Y/l/n! They may not have much time left."

You rolled your eyes. "Erwin, they're drunk, not suffering from food poisoning." He looked down at the girls. "Really?" You sighed.

Later, you came upon Levi, who had been keeping a practiced eye on Hanje and other various members of your friend group. He had designated himself the designated driver of the group, which was admirable but you made sure not too drink too much either, knowing that there was no way Levi could possibly deal with all of you being wasted.

Reiner had challenged Annie to a drinking game, and was in the midst of losing miserably, whilst Bertholdt silently cleaned up the mess that Reiner and Annie created with their squashed beer cans.

You also found ymir and Historia cheerfully dancing to Poker face, and you marveled at the way the two seemed to be in their own world. You smiled, at the red that dusted ymir's cheeks and at Historia's hand on her cheek. A crash from the kitchen behind you caused you to cringe and jump slightly, before you rushed in.

Not unsurprisingly you found Connie and Sasha at the epicenter of the chaos. Neither were drunk but both were still idiots. A broken dish and what had been cheese fries was on the floor at their feet. "Hey! What'd I say about getting into their food?" You pointed threateningly at the duo. "If we do it don't get caught?" Sasha had a fry in her mouth and big eyes. "Clean this up, I'll go get Levi." "Oh, no don't get Levi!" Connie whined, waving his hands dramatically. "I'm getting him!"

Marco and Armin had found a old monopoly game and had sat down to play it in the dinning room of the house. You found it especially funny at the amount of girls the two had unwittingly attracted, who sat down to play with them.

"Y/n!" You perked up and turned, careful to not spill your drink. Jean smiled at you, his eyes the tiniest bit lidded. "Care for a dance?" You had actually been expecting this, since Jean's flirtiness doubled with the mix of alcohol. "You look hot, y/n!" He gently wrapped his hands around you as the two of you slid onto the dance floor. You laughed, enjoying Jean's wild dance moves. Finally he popped into a Russian dig, "hype me up best friend!" He called, and you whooped until he ran right into Eren.

"You drunk idiot! Hello, Y/n!" Eren glared at Jean, but smiled at you. "Look at this drink I made! It was clear but now it's brown!" Before you could respond, Jean hopped up. "y/n doesn't care about your shit drink!" You sighed as the two began arguing, which slowly developed into a tense dance battle between the two men.

Mikasa had been with Eren, you guessed most likely protectively watching over him. She watched with you, before you smirked and outstretched your hand. Mikasa took it, a blush creeping onto her cheeks.

In the soft glow of a living room, you and Mikasa danced together to an old 80's tune, the rest of your friends giving elsewhere. It was a nice party.

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Y/n wears a skimpy outfit

You smiled at yourself in the mirror, tugging gently on your new top. Oftentimes you found it hard to truly appreciate your body, but the corseted top made you feel like a definite hot girl. You wore long black shoes, tight leather pants, dark jewelry. You just looked ready to step on some bitches.

You exited your room, and grabbed your purse, ready to head out with your girls. Eren was sitting on your coach, playing some video game. "Hey we'll be heading out soon so I left some numbers to order pizza for when you get hungry." You turned, digging in your purse for your keys. "Y/n, I'm not a child! I can take care of- holy shit, y/n!" You turned, Eren had dropped his controller, no longer focused on his game. "You can't go out like that! There are men out there!" You smiled and pulled out ur taser, flashing it a couple times. "I know."

Mikasa exited her room from the same hall, entering the living room. "Y/n, you look nice." You smiled and put your taser up. "thanks Mikasa!" "Wait, Mikasa you're going out too?" Eren stood up. "it's girls night out, Eren." You rolled your eyes. "but I wanna go too!" Mikasa opened her mouth but you beat her to it. "No."

The front door opened and Armin entered, his blonde hair flittering in his eyes. "Hey; Eren, Mikasa, and..." A blush erupted onto his cheeks. "Y/n!" His blues casted panicked glances around the room as if he wasn't sure he should make direct eye contact with you.

Eren pointed to his flustered friend. "See!" Again you rolled your eyes. "You look v-very nice, y/n." Armin mumbled before he sat down. "Thanks, sweetie." Armin's face reddened.

Suddenly the front door to the apartment flung open, allowing Jean, Marco, and Connie to enter. They were in the midst of conversation, laughing at a joke Connie had said. "Hey bitch-" Jean's words caught somewhere in the back of his throat as he saw you. His cheeks erupted into fire and he stopped, causing Connie and Marco to slam into him. "Hey!" Connie looked past Jean's frozen position, and smiled knowingly. "Bark, Bark, Bark! Y/n you look a sexy grim reaper!" Jean blinked as you laughed. Connie slid past Jean and made his way to the kitchen, giving the others a greeting as he did so.

Marco smiled at your outfit. "You look so pretty y/n!" Your cheeks were beginning to hurt from happiness and you wondered if you should wear this stuff more often and not just in your dreams. Jean seemed to snap out of it. "You...you...nice, y/n." He managed to get out, not right before Eren made fun of his stuttering.

Sasha exited her room, and to the delight of everyone gave a twirl in her little dress. "y/n! You look very nice!" She may or not have said whilst grabbing your boob. Historia admitted to helping you pick out the fit, and ymir made everyone thank her for her service.

"you should wear this more often, y/n. Or at least less more often." Annie nudged you from behind. You were amazed at her sauveness but also the blush that dusted the tips of her ears.

Reiner and Bertholdt came through the fire escape (because Reiner has been on a "parkour!" Kick recently. But Reiner made sure to call you hot, (effectively pissing off both Jean and Eren.) And Bertholdt simply blushed, quickly agreeing with Reiner.

Finally Hanje, Erwin, and Levi arrived, Levi bringing leftovers from his tea shop. Hanje had squealed and called you "hot!" Erwin was certain you were only wearing a bra and refused to look at you, whilst Levi couldn't take his eyes off of you, but said nothing all the same.

"Well ladies, I hope you all are ready!" Hanje smirked. "Who's riding with me?"

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Y/n gets a tattoo

"So...what do you think?" You stood in front of Hanje, Annie, and Ymir, your shirt raised to your underboob. Hanje clapped excitedly. "It looks great, y/n!" "I like the view." Annie said dryly. Ymir nodded. "yeah it's nice, just don't show Historia."

"Don't show me what?" Historia entered the living room via the kitchen. Immediately her eyes found your tattoo, and she smiled. "lovely!"

The others found the tattoo under different circumstances however.

Sasha had known first, since she went with you to get it originally, having helped you pick out the design. By that I mean, she mainly just agreed with whatever you said but helped you out none the less. Mikasa found out before you were training together, (she thought it looked cool).

Eren found out because he walked in on you in the shower. "Shit! Wait is that a tattoo!?" He would've told you he liked it had you not kicked the shit out of him and lectured him about coming over to your apartment constantly, blah, blah, blah.

Armin found out because you showed him, (and he promptly died a bit) but he also really liked it and you invited him to come get another one with you some time. Maybe, just maybe you had a weak spot for the blonde.

Jean and Connie found out because you sent Marco a snap of it, and they looked at it from over his shoulder. Connie laughed at Jean's sharp in take of breathe and Jean tackled Connie. Meanwhile as they fought in the background Marco sent you a video snap of his response.

Reiner found out via a training session, much like Mikasa. "Why, y/n I never knew what a sly devil you could be!"

Bertholdt knew because Reiner made sure to describe it to him in great detail, knowing that the tall fellow would get flustered.

Erwin was probably told at some point but forgot so anytime he sees in you in a bikini or something skimpy he gets his mind blown.

Levi found out because, you may or may not have sent him a snap (with much different intentions then the one you had sent Marco.) Levi thought it was badass, though.

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Y/n kisses the AOT gang

Yes, you had kissed each member of the gang. For any of these bitches, they could get it, let's be real.

You had given Eren forehead kisses many a time between he and you. This had been pretty random but regardless, it was something the two of you did often.

You often kissed Armin on the cheek, pinching them together whilst you smushed his face and pulled him in for hugs. Really, you loved Armin.

You kissed Jean on several occasions, partially because you weren't one to refuse an offer from an attractive man and also it was the quickest way to fluster the boy. He has the king of talking the talk but never actually walking the walk.

You give Marco and Connie platonic cheek kisses everytime you see each other. They also give you cheek kisses back. Marco also gives hugs!

You blow Reiner kisses all the time because that's exactly what your friendship is.

You give Bertholdt sweet little cheek kisses and he's always a blushing mess afterwards.

You give Erwin goodbye kisses and he always returns them.

You've made out with Levi. His tongue's been in your mouth. Yes, you kiss.

You give Hanje cheek kisses all the time. You seriously love this woman.

You've made out with Annie too. You also give her kisses on her neck just to hear her giggle.

You and ymir don't usually kiss, but you and Historia kiss each other's cheek.

You've kissed Sasha smack on the lips before, and you two cuddle all da time.

You give Mikasa forehead kisses because touch isn't necessarily her love language but you know when she needs it.

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Y/n gets into a fight

You don't get in trouble, like ever. You're reliable, kind, level headed. However sometimes you come across a Titan of an issue and need your friends to rally behind you.

Historia will get into an argument for you, but she isn't scary at all, nor is she very powerful when it comes to muscle might.

Mikasa will kill a bitch for you. Straight up. She may not always show it outright but she loves you.

Ymir would video tape the ass whooping of whoever dares to cross you until they tried to come after Historia. Then she's seeing red.

Annie would laugh at whoever is trying to fight you. She won't step into the fray directly until you need her though, she trusts you do take care of it.

Eren doesn't care if they haven't even thrown a punch if they even say a damn thing that he doesn't feel you deserve he will start the fight. He has no self control. He's an aries.

Jean will also fight for you. He'd be a hundred percent more levelheaded about the problem but he won't let you take shit.

Connie will at first be confused and then pull his signature "bruh" face. He'll be the one that takes the phone from Ymir after Historia gets involved.

Sasha will try to protect you the best she can. She doesn't want you hurt so she'll probably grab a spoon as a weapon and charge.

Reiner is just trying to vibe and then suddenly he's pulled into an all out war. Sigh. But at least it's for you.

Hange will find this all very funny, but she'll help out in between snorts.

Erwin will just stand there looking at your antagonist dead in the eye with the slightest raise of his brow. That's the end of it all.

Armin will go all manipulative bestie on however is bothering you.

Levi merely get in between you. He may be short but nothing scare him and he's literally willing to kick some ass if need be.

Bertolt would just take you somewhere else. Yes he's super annoyed and upset at this person, but he has better things to do with his time.

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Y/n gets a dog

To be honest, you'd wanted a pet for a long long time. Living closely with seven other women- and essentially nine men, had made that prospect rather slim, until one day approximately four months ago when you dropped the question.

The response was rather positive, so you carefully crafted a schedule and supplies.

The little puppy had been the runt of the litter, but that didn't bother you one bit (your not so secret infatuation of a certain 5'2" raven haired fellow solidified that.)

You were the first person to arrive home that day, and when you did you hurried to get the house puppified.

Bertolt came by early that day and was the first to see the puppy. At first he wasn't so sure about the little rascal. It seemed so hyper, a little too hyper, actually. But then, it licked him and he fell in love. He actually completely forgot you were even there he was so enthralled.

Levi came by with takeout, and much like Bertolt he wasn't sure about this creature. He'd always been more of a cat person, but even then he wasn't exactly an animal person. Just too messy. But for your sake he pat the pup on the head. (And to both your and bertolt's shock the puppy began to follow Levi around.

Armin loved the puppy. He immediately scooped it up and sang to it. You had never seen the blonde so happy as he cooed over the little Beasty. He raised it up into the air and swung it until Levi yelled at him for waving the animal over the takeout.

Erwin seemed a bit indifferent to the dog, almost as if the animal had just always been there. He did make sure however to share his food with it.

Hange tickled the poor animal savagely, vowing to buy it a sweater for the winter. You told them they didn't have to, but they refused. "What's a godparent for?"

Sasha vowed to help feed it and promised it that she would only buy it the best food possible.

Marco adored the tiny thing. "have you named him yet?" He had asked while lovingly scratching behind it's ears. "he looks like a sugar...or a Coco?"

Connie immediately sat down and started playing with newly named Sugar. "Connie! You're getting Sugar too riled up." Levi warned, but right then Connie was attacked by the tiny pup, and despite the small size of the dog the sheer force almost knocked Connie over. "Tch, idiot."

Jean was the first to take Sugar for a walk and you joined him. Together the two of you laughed at how cute Sugar looked as he bounced around in the grass. You made sure to have Jean clean up after him though, don't worry.

Sugar immediately fell asleep on Eren who threatened anyone that would dare touch or wake up him. Eren was extremely content with this little ball of joy.

Annie wasn't really excited for the puppy but she did promise to train Sugar when it was time, so there's that.

Ymir tried to act similar to Annie but Ymir is a total dog person, and after a bit she scoped up Sugar and put the sleeping pup on her own lap.

Mikasa was just happy everyone else seemed happy. She did sit by ymir though so she could get a few good pats in.

Later that night Historia grabbed the puppy and took him into her room, which she shared with Ymir. Really this puppy wasn't yours, it was everyone's.

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The AOT gang goes to a concert

You pulled into Eren's hand practically dragging him through the crowd. "That's the last time I'm letting you lead us anywhere, Eren!" He groaned behind you. "I thought the sign said Row one, it was an honest mistake!" You shot him a dangerous glare. "It was a sign for the bathroom!"

Finally you met up with your friends, who were all already comfortably seated, waiting for the concert to begin. "Hey guys sorry we're late, we had some...sign trouble."

You and Eren found your seats, "Good news is if anyone wants to know where the bathrooms are.." you elbowed your brunette friend.

When the concert began, it was immediately pretty damn hype. You and Jean clasped hands and danced together, shouting out the lyrics to the first song at the top of your lungs.

At the second song and Sasha took orders for food, and grabbed some grub. As you waited in the unnecessarily long line you pulled her into a hug and took a quick picture.

When you returned you stood by Reiner, but some big headed bastard had moved in front of your spot. So you climbed into Reiner's shoulders and screamed at the stage from your pretty impressive view.

Connie dared you to throw your bra on stage, but didn't actually think you'd do it. His face, and literally everyone around you, was priceless. In fact, you got a round of applause.

Hanje was video tapping about 90% of it, but they often drapped a hand around your shoulders and pulled you into the video, the two of you singing along to the musicians voice.

You and Levi held hands when a soft song came on, him pulling you into his chest at just the right note. You dipped your head into the chin, enjoying the soft thud of his heartbeat against the deep bass of the speakers. It was nice.

You face timed Bertolt, who unfortunately couldn't attend because he had "work". He enjoyed the concert better from that angle anyways.

You and Historia took a ton of pictures! So many! Some weren't even in focus! But you two didn't care!

Marco grabbed his phone light every chance he got and kept accidentally flashing it in people's eyes. He got you like seven times.

Erwin kept complaining that it was too loud, but you literally saw him full on do the sprinkler because he was vibing so hard.

You and Mikasa went to the bathroom together, and you forced her to take a picture with you. You also got lost on the way back but Mikasa helped guide you back. What would you do without her?

When you returned you ran into ymir and Historia dancing together, laughing and giggling. Damn them and their happiness.

After the show you and Armin went and met the people you watched and got a picture with them. They kept referring to Armin as your boyfriend so in the photo he looks like a tomato. He swore you to secrecy.

On the way back to the apartment you switched riders with Hanje so that she could take Eren home and you could just take Annie back to the apartment you shared. The whole way back you just let loose in the car. Annie could be very loud when with people she trusts entirely.

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Y/n flirts with the AOT gang

Unfortunately for you y/n you're not the sad drunk, clumsy drunk, dancer drunk, you're the flirty drunk. I guess there are worse things, though. These are the times when drunk you has flirted with your friends and their reactions.

One time you got blasted at a work party and Eren had to come drive you home. He was shocked at first, but he truly does care about you and is also the most oblivious person ever so he was just like "okay."

Annie was super confused at first, but she actually really liked the attention. She'd never admit that to you though. So she just kinda bumped shoulders with you and almost knocked you down, had she not caught you.

Jean actually almost shit himself your flirting flustered him so bad. But he realized that you were drunk and immediately lifted you up and took you home.

Armin blushed, squeaked, and giggled. He knew you were drunk but he just couldn't help it. He helped you to bed and you fell asleep next to each other.

Sasha took you out to eat immediately after you said you wanted to go on a date with a hot babe like her, because she just needs one reason to go get something to munch on. It helped sober you up and when you puked she held your hair. Besties.

You did have a line though and you never actually flirted with Historia or Ymir but Ymir always took videos of you drunk and Historia always made sure to help you to bed. Those two were your constant watch dogs though when you were having fun.

Reiner "pretends" to go along with your flirting. He really just likes it because your hawt. "oh really? Tell me more about my eyes." He does however makes sure no one messes with you and always makes sure you get home safely.

When you get drunk around Mikasa the Ackerman always just pats you on the head. Sometimes though she makes fun of you.

Whenever you flirt with Connie hes also drunk so he flirts back. The two of you are the most chaotic drunk duo though and always end up breaking shit.

Erwin tells you to stop. "Stop that y/n, it's weird." But he's always blushing when he says that and he acts like a parent. "No, no more tequila!"

Hange will literally just have fun with drunk you. She'd vibe and even give you her glasses.

Marco would think it's really funny, but he'd stick with you for as long as he needs to to make sure you're okay and then he'll take you home.

Levi will look so annoyed and so done but he'll blush and wrap his fingers with yours. Much like Jean, he'll try to take you home as soon as possible. He gets jealous way too easily for this and often he'll stay the night with you.

Bertolt's brain literally melts. Reiner has to drag him away from you. You've broken the poor man.

--------------------------------------------------

They walk in on you changing

Annie- She opened the door and come in without even paying attention, realized you were essentially naked when you squealed. She rolls her eyes, and mutters "look the door next time," but that's a mental image she'll be keeping for a while.

Armin- he doesn't even allow himself a second peak, immediately putting his hand over his eyes. "Oh! I'm so sorry y/n! I-i-yeah!" He practically runs out of there faster than lightening.

Bertolt- He freezes, and you have to push him out. His brain dies and he stands outside your door for several minutes still trying to process.

Connie- he doesn't even notice you, but when you yell at him he simply turns and farts at you.

Eren- "If you were changing why didn't you lock the door?"

Erwin- "I'm sorry I thought this was the bathroom. Did you get a new book shelf?"

Hanje- She comes in, sees that your changing and puts a hand over her eyes, continuing to tell you what she wanted.

Jean- he puts his hands on his hips and smiles, "you knew I was coming, didn't you?"

Levi- he doesn't really care and neither do you (nothing he hasn't seen before) but he doesn't make sure to shut the door and wrap you on the head. "you have a lock, brat, use it."

Marco- opens door. "Whoops." Closes door. "Sorry y/n!"

Mikasa- "hey y/n," just continues.

Sasha had half a donut in her mouth when she walked in on you and then immediately it fell from her mouth when she turned and saw your body. she blinked and quickly bent over, grabbing her donut and covered her eyes, but only partially.

Reiner- "Hey, y/n I- Woah! Nice ra-" you effectively cut him off by throwing a shoe at his face.

Historia- "Oh! Sorry sweetie, you're so pretty, oh my goodness!"

Ymir- after storming in she proclaims, "Historia saw you naked, I have to kill you now."

--------------------------------------------------

They find you crying

We all have those days, and this is when they find you having one.

Ymir found you in the your bedroom, completely bundled in blankets with the lights shut off. She notices that you've been crying because your sniffing loudly, but says nothing about it. "Hey, Y/n, do you have the wifi password?"

She'd leave, but tell Historia, knowing Historia is better suited to check on and deal with helping you. Historia will walk in and raise her hands, in an open hug. You'll wordlessly scootch over and allow her to slide in beside you and gently pull you into her grasp.

Sasha heard you crying and grabbed her comfort snacks, a blanket, and the puppy. All of which she carried into your bedroom. The two of you would sit, eat, and watch some comfort shows. "it's the best medicine!"

Reiner saw your car parked outside the apartments and thought he'd knock on your car window. When he got up to your window though, he noticed the tears that were streaking down your face. He'd immediately climb into the other side of the car, hopping into the passenger seat. You're shocked, having not even noticed him hanging outside your car to begin with. "Uh, Reiner?" "So," he buckles up. "Who did it?"

Mikasa could hear you crying when she was up late at night, (your door had been open a crack.) So she grabbed some ice cream and two spoons, and wordlessly walked into your room. She said nothing and didn't press you for information, and the two of you shared Sasha's favorite ice cream.

Marco witnessed you go full on break down mode after a ROUGH day and immediately gave you the greatest pep talk known to man. You were so amazed at his genuinely kind words you stopped crying, but Marco had become so touched that he had started.

You had actually went to Levi's apartment, and sat with him. He made you tea and listened silently as you told him about what had happened and how sad you felt. He didn't press any advice on you or dry your tears with grandiose words, but he genuinely listened and acknowledged your feelings. Then you cuddled, and it was more than enough.

Jean said something flirty to you and for one reason or another it set you off and tears were aflowing. At first he panicked because he thought he made you cry. When he realized it wasn't him, he gently brought you into him and held you as you cried into his shirt. Finally you looked up at him and he wiggled his eyebrows mischievously, "Would sex make you feel better?"

You called Hanje and told what happened after a particularly rough day, so she and moblit went and grabbed you some takeout and spent the day with you. They even took you to egg the offenders house. Revenge is sweet.

Erwin thought you were sick, so he left after finding you crying in your room, bought you soup, made it and just acted like you were sick. You didn't have the heart to tell him the truth.

Eren saw you crying and then flicked you in the head and promptly left. You were stunned, but also found it funny and confusing, so you stopped crying.

Connie facetimed you and by the end you weren't crying because you were sad, but because Connie's really fucking stupid.

Bertolt noticed you were in your room for a while so he checked on you. He gave you a hug and then asked you very nicely to "stop crying."

Armin literally sat his ass down and stayed with you until the two of you fell asleep. He's a top tier friend who cares deeply about your emotional health so he does everything he can to sort you out. He holds your hand, nods, listens, gives you advice, and agrees with you.

Annie calls you a crybaby but she sits down beside you none the less. She doesn't press nor did she speak. But she wants you to know that's she's here in her own special Annie way.

--------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading! Remember, requests are open!

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arcticdementor · 3 years ago

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I was talking to Sarah yesterday and I had a revelation I think is worth sharing.

Let’s begin at the beginning. About a month ago, Instapundit posted this.

Now, I’ve been thinking of the rise and fall of civilizations lately. I can’t think why it’s been on my mind. It’s a tale as old as time—a civilization emerges, establishes a new worthwhile order, the good things brought forth by said order soften up the people maintaining it, the softening turns to decadence, and the decadence gives way to the barbarians, who clean the slate. Where would you say things are lately?

…

In short—the federal government of the United States of America has become impotent at almost all good things.

Expanded out—There is no start to its talents. It cannot maintain its borders. Since the “election” it doesn’t even try. No surprise there. It cannot maintain friendly relationships with allies—as our recent screwing of Britain on our way out of Afghanistan shows. The “leader” of the “free world” could not be bothered to pick up the phone for our closest ally. Speaking of Afghanistan, it can’t win a war. It can’t even lose gracefully. In fact it fucked up leaving so badly some people are entertaining that it intended to fuck it up, because how the fuck does somebody above the age of six not notice that pulling the military out first and the civilians out second is not even a remotely workable strategy? Resulting in leaving millions of dollars of equipment—and—excuse me, what? Millions of dollars of dollars in the desert? Fantastic.

It makes self sabotaging and idiotic choices to stymie its own domestic oil industry, while accepting a pipeline not from Canada, but one that’s a joint Russian-German venture instead. Which means the problem, contrary to any environmentalist whining, isn’t the pipeline—it’s the pipeline with a friendly country. Big surprise— its only true interest in the environment lies in international agreements that hamstring us while doing nothing to China, the world’s largest polluter. It either can’t be trusted on energy production and the environment, or is trying to get it wrong.

It can’t manage its economy. What could have been a “V” shaped recovery has been turned into an “L” shaped one. What could be contributing? Paying people to do nothing? Rampant inflation? Meanwhile all the dumbasses running the country can think of is spending several billion more dollars that don’t exist. The country has infrastructure problems for a fact, but they’ll only acknowledge that to the extent of cynically plastering the word on an “infrastructure” bill which is in fact just a far Left wishlist that largely ignores actual infrastructure, in the hopes people will be dumb enough to support it because it has the right label.

And on.

What aptitudes does it have besides taking money, trampling civil liberties, and ignoring constitutional laws at gunpoint? News flash, dummies: We don’t need peaceful protestors incarcerated without a trial. We don’t need the weight of the federal government turned to the problem of violating states rights because Texas passed a law Biden doesn’t like. We need military egresses that look like they weren’t planned by Bozo the clown and an economic plan better than something China would design for us as an attempt to permanently sink the country. Is there anyone at all in DC who can provide that? If not, is there anything useful they can do? I’ll wait.

…

This is what decadence looks like. When the government stops even attempting competence because nothing and nobody that currently exists can replace or displace them so who cares about results? When comfort and plenty have become so common, been taken for granted for so long, that the question of utility or even basic sanity isn’t even distantly considered. When it’s assumed that self-harming policies that will obviously damage the country won’t really matter because nobody has ever known a world without America and fundamentally has no idea how the present day came to be. When the country’s most educated start chasing bizarre and unimaginably stupid ideas on economics that boil down to “inflation won’t happen if you double the monetary supply by printing money, if only you just believe hard enough”. In fact, when education stops being a means to greater insight, more useful abilities, and a better life, and becomes a cult devoted to the kind of idiocy that can survive only with strenuous censorship, the tenets of the cult being treated by the indoctrinated as a collection of sacred mysteries and deeply-thought paradoxes— while to those not similarly trained it is self-obviously a collection of contradictory and self-serving lies.

Verily, decadence is here. We can infer that what comes next is the barbarians. And we have options. Mexican illegals? A heady mixture of poverty-stricken Marxists who have never known a system that wasn’t corrupt, functionally lawless, and devoted to the tenets of voting oneself rich; and outright criminals with lives like “a demon’s resumé”? Perhaps radical Muslims? By sheer numbers worldwide they’re the most likely option. The Taliban just got a huge infusion of cash and a big boost in morale. In a few short days we’ll know whether they’ve arranged a thank you gift for Zho Bi-Xen and his kleptocrat marching band to commemorate his intended pull-out date. But even if, and God I hope, they have not, we can expect an uptick in terrorism and quite shortly. Or perhaps China? The Middle Kingdom would laugh at being called barbarians, but I call genocidal communists like I see them. Mao was morally three steps below a pig and Xi has enough power to aspire to greater depths. As is I wouldn’t dream of feeding a pig Mu Shu Xi due to the great risk of poisoning the pig.

But there is a barbarian group not considered. Us.

Hang on. Before you balk, listen. Look again at what these idiots are selling as the fruits of civilization. Defenses of pedophilia and urinals as art. And more, too—sterilization and disfigurement of teenagers in the form of sex changes. Black supremacy as a panacea to made up threats of white supremacy. Books nobody reads, movies nobody watches, paintings that exist only to launder money—even the ones not made by Hunter Biden.

What good person would not be proud to be considered a barbarian by these miserable, over-decorated Faberge people? I’d be mortified if they agreed with me! So they think I’m a sexist or a racist or whatever. Fine. They do not use these words to mean the same things I mean, so it’s a pointless argument, and they are now officially beneath my explaining myself to them. When the people who are calling me names are so morally opaque that the Taliban can make devastating critiques of them just by referencing the foundational works of their own gender studies programs, I’m done caring about the names. Fine. I’m what you think is a racist. I’m what you think is a sexist. But you think a lot of very stupid things, and as the curtain continues to draw back on the carnival of madness that’s been behind the scenes the entire time it’s occurring to me that what you think and reality overlap so seldom that the only time not to ignore you is when I can ridicule you. If that is your civilization, someone hand me a pointy horned helmet.

…

Yes, this is a moment of peril, but also opportunity. See in your country what every hostile group listed above sees in it—the makings of great civilization, along other, less stupid lines. All of it guarded by weak, fat, stupid people with no will and no self-belief. Take that mindset and go forth.

Get involved in your local systems. There is an old prayer for God to make ones enemies ridiculous. Congratulations to whomever was still praying it. Your prayers have been answered. Will you tell me that you cannot defeat these people? People who lose casual debates to terrorists not on principle but on basic facts?

…

You can’t reason with them so don’t bother. Recent events have made it clear you may as well try to talk sense into a three-day-old mackerel. Just confront them with their own stupidity so that people who see the inevitable video understand what this is about, and don’t feel that you are too good to shout them out of the room. You’re the barbarian, remember? Not like the nice civilized people with their gender-queer Tik-Tokers pushing vaccine propaganda. That means you’re excused from conversations with morons. Don’t bother trying to find common ground. Look at where they’re standing! Do you want to try to find the midpoint between that and reality? Silly. Pointless. Send them back to their walled online gardens to whine to their equally stupid friends about the barbarians.

Can we take it back from the ground up? I don’t know. But hey, it’s got to be worth a shot. Join the fun! Find some friends and locate a low-hanging political event to raid. When was the last time you went to a town hall for your town? Isn’t just a part of you curious to know whether your local county commissioner starts by declaring her pronouns? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to see someone like that made very uncomfortable? You can make that happen. You can probably do it within the next month. Bring a few friends! Or a few dozen. Some of the people reading this probably were afraid to do that kind of thing for fear of losing their job. The Biden economy might have freed up some of your time. What have you got to lose now? More importantly, the way things are going, are you going to lose it anyway if things continue as they are? Think on it.

#thomas kendall #sarah a hoyt

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fortuitous-juxtapositions · 5 years ago

Text

Art of Deception Part 2 (Orlo x Reader)

Summary: An Orlo x Reader slow burn. You and your uncle have just arrived in Peter III's court from the Colonies. You uncle has warned you of the debauchery of the court and devises a plan to keep you safe, but the Emperor has other ideas. You find yourself thrown to the wolves and you must keep your secret while while fighting the growing feelings you have for the one person in court you who you would tell the secrets of the universe to if he would only ask.

Note: Anything in Italics indicates the characters are speaking English as opposed to Russian

Also available to read on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25566277/chapters/62224174

“Dimitri, you old bastard!” A man dressed in military finery boomed as he slapped your uncle roughly on the shoulder. “Where the fuck have you been hiding?”

“Velementov, who are you calling old you ancient fuck?” Your uncle laughed good naturedly and the man shrugged.

“Takes one to know one.”

“How goes the war with Sweden?”

Velementov’s shoulders sagged as if the weight of the world was laid upon them and, in his eyes, a faraway look as if his mind lay somewhere else entirely. He finally shrugged and tossed his glass of vodka back in one go, his body swaying in a way that told you he had started drinking long before you arrived.

“Ah, that well my friend?” You uncle looked on sympathetically. The other man made a ‘what can you do’ gesture and gave a humorless laugh.

“Russia’s sends her boys to war so that they may die men.” The tone in Velementov’s voice was one that made you believe he was convincing himself more than anything. He exhaled and his eyes flittered over to you. “But enough about war, we are in the presence of a lady, and they do not wish to hear of such things!”

His hand came out in greeting and you curtsied as you took it.

“General Velementov, commander of the Russian army. And you are?” He raised your hand to his lips and placed a chased kiss on your knuckles.

“My niece, (y/n).” Your uncle broke in. “She does not speak Russian, I am afraid.”

Velementov balked.

“Does not speak Russian? What are you teaching her over there in that wild new world?”

“It is just not practical. Near to no one speaks our mother tongue over there. They all speak either English or French. Though there are quite a few different tribal languages of the natives who live there. Fascinating people whom her father often traded with.”

“God rest his soul,” Velementov lamented as he grabbed another glass of vodka and downed it like water. He smiled at you kindly before his attention was drawn away from you and towards the doors that had just been flung open. In stepped the Emperor dressed in the finest golden silks, accompanying him was a woman who was slender in statue and dressed in clothes that rivaled all other women in attendance.

“The Empress,” Velementov’s voice was reverent as he gazed at her through glassy, drunk eyes. The Emperor and his bride made their way to the head of the tables as all in attendance bowed and curtsied to them. When they reached their table, they turned to look at you and your uncle, both standing in the center as is customary when joining the court, waiting for the Emperor to welcome you.

“Velementov, you fat cunt, fuck off back to your seat!” The Emperor yelled and you noticed for the first time that the General was still stood next to your uncle. His mouth stumbled over an apology that had the Emperor rolling his eyes before stepping around your uncle. You watched the man go in concern for his wellbeing as he drunkenly tripped over his own feet. He fell forward slamming his hip into the corner of the table and you hissed in sympathy. The Emperor roared with laughter and continued to belittle him while the rest of the court joined in.

Your uncle growled and reached for you when you dropped your death grip on him and made you way over to the man who stood doubled over in pain. You grabbed his arm and help him straighten himself up.

Before you could maneuver him around the table another pair of hands gripped his opposite shoulder. You looked up to find the man from earlier, Orlo, looking at you before quickly shooting his eyes over to the General.

“For fuck sake, Orlo. Get him to his seat before I rip his and your cock off with my fucking fork.” The Emperor yelled, silencing all in the hall.

“I’ve got him,” Orlo whispered to you, gesturing with his head for you to return to your uncle whose hand gently wrapped around your bicep.

“Let him go,” he hissed into your ear and you obeyed as your uncle pulled you back to the center of the room. You watched Orlo quickly and efficiently guide Velementov to his chair without further incident and you knew that it was not the first time such a thing had occurred.

When you looked back to the head of the table you noticed four blue eyes regarding you curiously and the grip your uncle had on you tightened.

“Right, I’m fucking starving. Let’s get this over with,” the Emperor gestured to you and your uncle. “Count (L/N) has returned for the Colonies with his niece…” He looked around at all members of the court who were in attendance. “Well, fuck me that was fast. Sit down and lets eat this fucking pig.”

Your uncle escorted you to your seat before taking his own. As soon as the Emperor tore into the suckling pig the court followed suite. You sat back, horror struck as you watched them feast like starved wolves on the array of food, enough to feed a small army. You wrinkled your nose as you half expected to start hearing snorts and grunts coming from the men and women around you. A quick glance over to your uncle saw a similar expression on his own face. You picked at the potatoes that sat cooling on your plate, all traces of hunger gone and a heavy feeling of exhaust settled of you.

“You’re a pretty little thing,” you raised your head up to see a woman with large hair and a wildness about her standing in front of you. “You have such pretty, soft hair.”

She tugged a strand free and gently twisted it around her finger. She sent you a kindly smile, but there was something vicious that lurked just beyond.

“Lady Elizabeth,” your uncle greeted. “You look more and more radiant each time I see you.”

“This is your niece, is it?” she grinned again. “Not very talkative.”

“No, she does not speak Russian, so it is difficult for her to communicate.” He patted your shoulder in affection, but you could feel the warning coming from his touch.

“No? Pity. She is very pretty. I am sure that she will have many of the man in court tripping over themselves to get to her…” her grin turned sly. “And many of the women as well.”

“Yes, well” your uncle cleared his throat uncomfortably. “We do not intend on staying here more than a few days. Business at the estate and all.”

“Yes, I heard about the death of your cousin. A shame… he was quite a glorious lover.”

You were glad you had not yet brought the glass of water in your hand to your lips, for certain you would have choked on it and revealed your secret. Instead you cast your eyes around the room in hope that the strange woman would soon leave you and find someone else who could entertain her. You raised the glass to your lips and took a sip, the cold water doing little to chase away the drowsiness as the day’s traveling and events started to catch up with you.

Your eyes wondered to Valementov, seeing him sway in his chair as if he were aboard a ship. He loudly exclaimed something before slamming his fist into the table. The sound made the man to his left jump and your sight narrowed in on him. Orlo leaned into the general, his lips moved quickly as if he were scolding the man and you fought to contain a smile. Orlo finished his oration and his eyes immediately glanced up and locked with your own. You did smile at the man but he quickly jerked his head to the left, his eyes fixed on something of interest on the ceiling. You frowned and raised an eyebrow but turned back to the conversation between your uncle and the strange woman. Her eyes locked with you and in contrast to Orlo, she held your gaze with confidence.

“Elizabeth is Peter’s aunt.” You uncle clarified for you.

“Ah,” you smiled at the woman “it is a pleasure to meet you, Elizabeth.”

Your uncle started to translate what you said but Elizabeth cut him off and exclaimed loudly,

“What a lovely language!” You could feel the eyes of the court turn towards you as a hush fell over the room. “I do love the way my name sounds on your tongue.”

Guffaws were heard from many a table and you looked to your uncle, a silent plea for comfort in your eyes as your face conveyed confusion to the court.

“I say, Aunt Elizabeth!” Peter exclaimed from his table, standing up so that all eyes turned to him. “What is this about her lovely tongue?”

You fought a blush and instead took another drink of the cold water to help calm the raising heat while clutching your uncle’s hand under the table.

“The way it caresses my name, nephew!” She exclaimed, her eyes finally turning from your face to speak directly to her nephew.

The Emperor stood up and grabbed his glass of vodka before making his way over to you. You gulped nervously and looked around the room once more. This time all eyes were on you, glittering with humor, desire and jealousy. As you cast your eyes about the room, they once more locked with Orlo. He did not look away this time, enraptured by the sight before him. But unlike the rest of court, his eyes darkened as a nervous energy seemed to pulse from them.

Peter stepped in front of you, blocking your gaze from Orlo and everyone else in the dinning hall. You looked up as his tall frame towered over you.

“Say my name.” He commanded. You scrunched your face into a mask of confusion. “I SAID, SAY MY NAME!” He slammed his hand on the table and you jumped.

“S-sir, please,” A voice pleaded to his left at the same time your uncle started to apologize.

Orlo stood next to the Emperor, his body twisting such as to try and bring the Emperor’s focus to him, but his icy blue eyes remained trained on you.

“She does not speak Russian” Orlo reminded as your uncle clutched your hand tighter. The Emperor sniffed in angered amusement and turned to your uncle.

“Tell her to say my name,” he commanded.

“It’s okay, dearest. Just do as he says.” The was a slight quiver in your uncle’s voice. You nodded and your eyes focused on the table.

“Emperor Peter” you said quietly.

A hand gripped your chin painfully and brutally jerked your head upward. You met the cruel eyes of the Emperor as silence filled the room. No one dared to speak let alone breathe in fear his wrath my be directed towards them.

“Say. It. Again.” He commanded. Your uncle translated in English.

“Emperor Peter.”

“Again!”

“Emperor Peter.” His grip on your chin tightened and you knew it would be bruised come the morning.

“Tell her to say it louder.” He growled. Your uncle translated.

“Emperor Peter.”

“Louder!” he shook your head.

“Emperor Peter!”

“LOUDER!” He brought his face closer to yours and yelled.

“EMPEROR PETER!” You near sobbed as you yelled it at him. He grinned maliciously, finally satisfied with your obedience.

“You’re right, Aunt. Her lovely tongue does caress my name.” He shoved your face away and you could not help the small squeal of pain that escaped from you throat. His grin grew more satisfied at the noise and he straightened himself to his full height. “But her inability to speak Russian will not do.”

He thought for a moment, fingers caressing his chin. You could physically see the change when the idea came to his head, his eyebrows raising in delight.

“Orlo, you virgin cuck, where are you!” He yelled and twisted to look over his shoulder to where the man usually sat.

“R-right here, Emperor,” Orlo instead answered from his left where he had remained.

“Jesus fuck, do I need to put a fucking bell on you?” He glared down at the man.

“I’m so-“

“Never fucking mind,” he cut Orlo off. “I have a job for you.”

“Sir?” Orlo gulped.

“You’re going to teach this bitch how to speak Russian.” Out of the corner of your eye you could see your uncle’s jaw clench, his eyes alight with fire yet he remained still and quiet.

“I-” Orlo started to protest but it was cut off as the Emperor grabbed a knife from the table and brandished it towards the man. He held up his hands in surrender and eyed the weapon. “I-I would be ha-happy to.”

“Good,” the Emperor stabbed the knife down into the table in front of you and you jumped. He smirked triumphantly and downed his vodka before turning to the rest of the hall.

“Huzzah!” He threw the glass against the wall behind you and you flinched as you felt shards hitting your head and the back of your neck. The rest of the hall followed suit, drinking their Vodka and throwing the glass to the floor before echoing the Emperor.

“HUZZAH!”

The Emperor smirked at you once more before making his way back to his seat, smiling at the Empress ashe did so. You took a deep, shakey breath and looked up to find Orlo still standing in the same spot, dark eyes staring down at you. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came.

“Orlo, you fucking virgin! Do not try and guilt her into letting you stick your limp cock inside her!” The hall erupted in laughter and Orlo’s cheeks turned a bright crimson. Without a word, he turned on his heel and quickly scurried back to his chair. You could feel his eyes on you after he sat down, but you were too numb to do anything about it.

Elizabeth walked back over and stood in front of you. Your eyes remained fixed and staring, not really seeing anything but inwardly focusing on your breathing.

“He has a temper, my nephew.” She said as she gently touched one of the bright red marks on your chin. You flinched away and finally focused on her face. She smiled at you as if the past few minutes had never happened.

“Just think about how great life here will be once you learn Russian.” Her eyes were wide. “And I think Peter has taken a liking to you,” her smile faltered at her own words.

She gently brushed away the glass from your hair and forced another smile to her face. Her fingers traced the piece of hair she had freed earlier and then brushed down your cheek before she turned and glided over to the Empress.

You stayed silent and still as the band was brought into the hall. After a quick warm up they started to play, and the court yelled in rapture. Multitudes of colors swam in your vison as men and women jumped from the seats and took to dancing around the hall.

You finally brought yourself back to the present and felt the soft brush of your uncle’s thumb across your joined hands. You slowly released his hand, your joints stiff and aching from the pressure of holding so tightly to him.

“Sorry” you mumbled as you saw the how pale his hand had gone from constricted blood flow and the small crescents where your nails had dug into his skin.

“No need for apologies, my dearest.” He kissed the crown of your head. “I will not ask you if you are alright, I know you are not.”

You fought back a sob and it got stuck in your throat.

“I think I will retire for the night,” you croaked and took a drink of water.

“Yes, I think that is a good idea.” He looked up to where the Emperor had a woman who was not the Empress on his lap. “I unfortunately must stay... Will you be okay to find your way back?”

The worry was evident on his face and you knew he wanted nothing more escort you back to the apartments, but he could not yet leave the event as he was required to speak with the Emperor.

“I know the way back; I will be alright.” You looked up to the Emperor, “the scariest thing in this palace is otherwise occupied at the moment.”

“There are other monsters that lurk in the dark crevasses of this place,”

“I will be alright; I will go directly from here to the apartments. I promise.” He looked troubled but agreed. You kissed him on the cheek and quietly stood from you chair, no one seemed to notice as you weaved your way through the crowd.

You stepped out of the hall and immediately felt the chill air fill your lungs. The room had been suffocatingly warm and smelled strongly of the combination of food and they scented oils the members of court wore. Now out in the hall you felt like you could properly breath for the first time all night. You nodded to the silent guards who stood watch outside the doors and made your way down the corridor.

The music and shouting started to fade as you made your towards the apartments. Soon it was ghostly quiet and all you could hear was the clacking of your shoes and the sound of you heart beating in your ears. It took everything in your power not to take off your shoes and sprint as fast as you could to the relative safety of your room.

You were so focused on telling your body not to bolt that you did not hear the sound of rushing footsteps until it was too late to run.

Taglist: @startrekingaroundasgard

#orlo #orlo x reader #count orlo x reader #sacha dhawan #the great #orlo/reader #count orlo #count orlo/reader #long fic #slow burn

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nobodies-png · 6 years ago

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If each member was a language, what language would they be and why?

I’m assuming you mean from the OrgXIII so here you go ! This was an interesting question lolol - I had to look up and read a lot of articles on wikipedia to make sure I didn’t end up saying bad or weird shit bUT IT WAS SUPER FUN

Xemnas :

Greek, probably ? The language and culture that rivaled Latin and Rome throughout history and despite it’s age, it MANAGES to still be a living language (if you think I overthink too much about metaphors and shit just wait till you read the rest of answers). It also fits all Scala Ad Caelum’s aesthetic inspired by Greece and all the shenanigans with the Norts !

Xigbar :

LEET Speak just to give every homestucker a heart attack. Maybe just surfer speak, if it counts. Xigbar would fit Latin perfectly - it’s a dead language and the source of many other languages just like Xigbar is the fucking source of many things that go down in KH. Cryptic and old, like him ! And considering his ties with the KHux Foretellers and such, it makes sense for him to be Latin, right ?

Xaldin :

I literally have no idea why but I think of Portuguese when I think of Xaldin. I havE LIKE NO ARGUMENTS OR EXPLANATIONS, IT’S JUST A THING (tm) SO YOU’RE FREE TO ADD TO THIS. Or give him a different language to be w h e e z e.

Vexen :

You know when old people try to be hip and come up with shit like How o You Do Fellow Kids / I’ll Krump With You Sweetie ? Yeah that’s him Okay but honestly, when I was a kid I really liked the idea of Vexen just screaming shit in Latin whenever his experiments went wrong. Now that i’m older, I like to imagine the same thing except now he speaks a Slavic language. I wouldn’t be able to tell you e x a c t l y which one, though. But I guess also a language from north Europe would work, like Finnish or Swedish - mostly because the countries remind me of cold weather lol

Lexaeus :

Nghhhh, I wanna say either ASL/Sign Language or Braille - but i’ll go with Braille ! Lexaeus is a quiet man of a few words, so I think it suits him just fine to be a language that doesn’t need to be spoken. And we know he’s tactful and gentle, considering he does a lot of puzzles in his free time, so Braille seems perfect for him ! While he might not actually need Braille, Lexaeus would be that kind of guy who just teaches others how to read and tries to normalize the use of Braille !

Zexion :

A lot of people might give me shit for not making Zexion Latin bUT LIKE LISTEN. THIS SMART BOY WOULD BE SOMETHING LIKE CHINESE/MANDARIN. Think about it, we’re talking about a super flexible language whose entonation can change the meaning of a sentence completely - yes, i’m talking about that one poem that only has ONE word and it still manages to be a fully fledged story. Like, i’m an artist, not a literary major but I still think that’s super smart and dope and i’ll gladly compare that to magic anytime. In retrospect, it matches Zexion’s illusion motif and complex character !

Saix :

Uhhhh, i’d say either Japanese or Russian. Cause both are languages with strong accents and pronunciations which suit Saix’s strong and firm character - and also because Russian reminds me of NASA and space for some reason and Japanese makes me think of that one tale about the rabbit on the moon. Also Japan puts a lot of emphasis in discipline, honor and loyalty too, traits that Saix shares.

Axel :

Axel is definitely Spanish. Not to be confused with the latino dialects from South America ! I’m talking Spain’s spanish ! And no, I didn’t choose this one because it’s an “exotic sexy firey language”, tRUST ME IT’S MY FIRST LANGUAGE AND IT’S ANYTHING BUT THAT - I chose spanish because it’s an abrasive and brash language. Most words (and the insults specially) give the feeling you’re about to spit on someone’s face and be a cocky disrespectful brat OR you’re just a super friendly and extroverted fella - it suits Axel’s previous ruthless mercenary personality with his current and contrasting kind, outgoing self. 50/50.

Demyx :

Okay hear me out, it’s been like 45 minutes since I went researching to write Demyx’s answer and I still don’t know if I have a proper one. I wanted to say a language from India, since it’s where his signature sitar originates from and what else can accompany a sitar better than the language of the place it was pretty much created in ? So researched Ravi Shankar, the Sitar Maestro and a super important figure in indian classical music. But I know barely nothing about that side of Asia, so i’m NOT exactly sure what language he spoke or used in his music ! Like I looked for his songs and they’re in Gujarati, but HMMMM, NOT SURE CHIEF.

So if anyone feels like educating me on this subject, please go ahead. Otherwise I have to give Demyx the way us millennials talk and oH boy.

Luxord :

I’ll go with the obvious choice here : English. Like, back in the day, most people just HC’d Luxord as a britishman because of his mannerisms and etc etc - but like, it works for him ! He’s closely tied to Alice and Wonderland in both the game and the manga, as well as Pirates of the Caribbean like come on it’s rIGHT there. Also imo, british English just sounds like super polite and elegant, the way Luxord acts most of the time.

Marluxia :

Either German or the language of flowers. German because it’s That Type Of Language™ that seems to have a word for every specific thing, action and feeling no matter how obscure - which kinda seems to suit him somehow ? A language with a rough appearance, intimidating to most people due to the hard sounds but eloquent, deep and extensive ! The other option is pretty obvious, considering his power with nature and stuff - Marluxia is definitely the time to give bouquets and flowers as gifts with double edged meanings and intentions.

Larxene :

The only one that comes to mind is French. Just cause I think Larxene reads french literature in the 358Days manga - but like, dark and smart stuff only Intellectuals™ can understand. And also because it’s a tricky language to speak properly (LISTEN I TOOK 5 YEARS OF FRENCH AND I STILL DIE WITH ALL THE VOWELS). There’s just something about the way it’s spoken that screams her name. It’s fast paced, coquettish, sounds mature, there’s a lot of sharp sounds. Y’know !

Roxas :

Not specifically a language, but Roxas reminds me of the mix every bilingual person speaks sometime when they can’t remember a specific way of saying or explaining something. Or when your group of friends is mostly bilingual too and y’all just mix both languages and it’s a fucking mess for outsiders ? ( Like “Me cago en la fucking madre que te parió” o “I swear to god pOR QUE ERES ASI” are examples from the groupchat I am, wheeze). So probably Spanish and English !

Xion :

I’m torN AGAIN between ASL/Sign Language and Braille. But I think i’ll go with sign language ! Not to get Deep and Philosophical, but Sign Language seems to fit Xion, someone whose voice was silenced by those around her. We know she’s timid and quiet, but she’s also young and energetic, quick and witty around her friends - so unlike Lexaeus who’d calmly read using Braille, Xion is the type who’d sign at the speed of sound when excited or panicking and she’d enjoy sending secret messages to her friends.

#kh headcanons #organization xiii #Anonymous #xemnas #xigbar #xaldin #vexen #lexaeus #zexion #saix #axel #demyx #luxord #marluxia #larxene #roxas #xion

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bountyofbeads · 5 years ago

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Top Diplomat Described ‘Crazy’ Plan to Withhold Aid From Ukraine https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/03/us/politics/kurt-volker-impeachment.html

🚨🚨BREAKING NEWS ALERT 🚨 🚨

Ukraine to Review Criminal Case of Firm Linked to Biden’s Son

By Andrew E. Kramer | Published Oct. 4, 2019 Updated 8:20 a.m. ET | New York Times | Posted October 4, 2019 9:10 AM ET |

KIEV, Ukraine — Ukraine’s top prosecutor said on Friday that he would review several important cases previously handled by his predecessors, including a criminal case involving the owner of a natural gas company that employed a son of former Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr.

The development came amid an impeachment inquiry against President Trump connected to a request he made to the Ukrainian president asking him to investigate Mr. Biden, a Democratic presidential candidate, and his son’s work in Ukraine.

It raises questions of whether Ukraine was, in effect, bowing to public and private pressure from the president of the United States, on which it has depended on for millions of dollars in aid.

The prosecutor general, Ruslan Ryaboshapka, said he intended to review 15 cases in all, and mentioned several high-profile investigations of wealthy Ukrainians, including the owner of the natural gas company, Burisma Holdings, where Mr. Biden’s son Hunter served on the board until earlier this year.

He said no foreign or domestic officials tried to influence his decisions on specific criminal proceedings, or in regards to the Bidens or the Burisma case.

Mr. Ryaboshapka told journalists at a briefing in Kiev on Friday: “The prosecution service is beyond politics. We are conducting an audit of all cases, including those which were investigated by the previous leadership of the prosecutor’s office.”

If laws were violated, he added, “we will react accordingly.”

Mr. Trump’s repeated public requests that the Ukrainian government investigate a case touching on a likely opponent in next year’s election — what he described in a phone call with President Volodymyr Zelensky of Ukraine in July as a “favor” — is central to the formal House committee impeachment inquiry called by Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

The inquiry is examining whether Mr. Trump betrayed his oath of office and the nation’s security by seeking to enlist the aid of a foreign power to tarnish a political rival. Mr. Trump has vigorously denied doing anything wrong, calling his phone call with Mr. Zelensky “perfect.”

No evidence of wrongdoing by Mr. Biden or his son has emerged, and the elder Mr. Biden has denied the accusations. But Mr. Trump has doubled down, urging China to investigate the Bidens and charging that the country lavished $1.5 billion on Hunter Biden in order to influence his father and win favorable trade deals with the United States.

Mr. Ryaboshapka’s comments on Friday were the first indication of how Ukrainian criminal justice officials were handling one of the two investigations that Mr. Trump raised in the call.

On the call, Mr. Zelensky of Ukraine suggested that he would assist with an investigation of the firm, according to White House reconstructed notes of the phone call. The Ukrainian president said that a new prosecutor general would soon be appointed who would be “100 percent my person” and would “look into the situation.”

Mr. Ryaboshapka did not say how long his audit of those cases would last. His review is needed before a decision on any further action could be taken.

Texts From Top Diplomat Described ‘Crazy’ Plan to Keep Aid From Ukraine

A text exchange given to Congress as impeachment investigators questioned their first witness shows an internal dispute over whether the president was seeking a quid pro quo from Ukraine.

By Nicholas Fandos, Julian E. Barnes and Peter Baker |Published Oct. 3, 2019 Updated Oct. 4, 2019, 5:53 a.m. ET | New York Times | Posted October 4, 2019 9:10 AM ET |

WASHINGTON — A top American diplomat in Ukraine repeatedly raised concerns with colleagues about the White House’s decision to withhold $391 million in security aid from Ukraine, describing it as a “crazy” plan to withhold security assistance “for help with a political campaign,” according to texts released Thursday as part of the impeachment inquiry into President Trump.

The texts, which were turned over to Congress by Kurt D. Volker, the State Department’s former special envoy for Ukraine, come from a series of early September exchanges. They appear to show a dispute among American diplomats over whether the president was trying to use security aid or a White House meeting with the country’s new leader as leverage to pressure Ukraine to dig up dirt on a leading political rival — a charge at the heart of the impeachment investigation.

One message, written by William B. Taylor Jr., the top American diplomat in Ukraine, suggested that Mr. Trump was holding back the package of military aid to Ukraine as a bargaining chip to influence the country’s president to do his political bidding.

“As I said on the phone, I think it’s crazy to withhold security assistance for help with a political campaign,” Mr. Taylor wrote on Sept. 9 to Mr. Volker and Gordon D. Sondland, the United States ambassador to the European Union.

Mr. Sondland replied that he believed he had “identified the best path forward” for unfreezing the assistance. But he also took issue that there is any sort of direct agreement, writing in response, “The President has been crystal clear: no quid pro quo’s of any kind.” He then suggested the conversation move to phone rather than text.

That exchange and others emerged as congressional investigators met privately for more than nine hours on Capitol Hill with Mr. Volker, who is the first witness in their growing impeachment inquiry into whether Mr. Trump tried to bend American policy for his own political benefit by pressuring President Volodymyr Zelensky of Ukraine to dig up dirt on former Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. and other Democrats.

While the president has openly admitted that he wanted Mr. Zelensky to investigate Mr. Biden and his son Hunter Biden, a crucial question has been whether Mr. Trump tried to use the security aid or a meeting at the White House as leverage. The money was delayed until the Trump administration released it last month amid a bipartisan outcry from lawmakers.

In his text, Mr. Sondland added, “The President is trying to evaluate whether Ukraine is truly going to adopt the transparency and reforms that President Zelensky promised during his campaign.”

It was not immediately clear what led Mr. Taylor to conclude that Mr. Trump was withholding aid as leverage over Ukraine. When the texts were sent, news reports about the delay in releasing the aid, and about attempts by Mr. Trump’s personal lawyer Rudolph W. Giuliani to pressure Ukraine into investigating Mr. Biden and other Democrats, had already prompted public speculation that Mr. Trump was engaging in a quid pro quo.

But his concerns persisted. Roughly a week earlier, on Sept. 1, Mr. Taylor had asked Mr. Sondland, “Are we now saying that security assistance and WH meeting are conditioned on investigations?”

Mr. Sondland replied simply, “Call me.”

The next day, Mr. Taylor described a “nightmare” situation in which the Ukrainians announced they would conduct the investigations Mr. Trump wanted and still not receive the security assistance. “The Russians love it,” he wrote of that potential outcome. “(And I quit.)”

Mr. Taylor could not be reached for comment on Thursday. The texts thrust him into the center of the blossoming controversy, and he is now almost certain to be called to testify by lawmakers.

Democrats leading the investigation said the messages “reflect serious concerns raised by a State Department official about the detrimental effects of withholding critical military assistance from Ukraine, and the importance of setting up a meeting between President Trump and the Ukrainian president without further delay.”

Republicans demanded a full transcript of Mr. Volker’s interview be released. “The facts we learned today undercut the salacious narrative that Adam Schiff is using to sell his impeachment ambitions,” wrote Representatives Jim Jordan and Devin Nunes, the top Republicans on the Oversight and Reform and Intelligence committees, referring to the chairman of the intelligence panel.

When the Trump administration forced out Marie L. Yovanovitch, the former ambassador, before her term was up, Mr. Taylor was sent to be the chargé d’affaires, the No. 2 post in an embassy, and acting ambassador. Mr. Taylor was a former ambassador in Ukraine, serving from 2006 to 2009.

The texts among Mr. Volker, Mr. Sondland and Mr. Taylor portray Mr. Taylor as a diplomat deeply skeptical of the Trump administration’s approach to Ukraine, flabbergasted that the military assistance had been cut off — and firmly believing that the White House was asking for Ukraine to begin political investigations in return for the aid being released.

In one text, he worried about how the hold would affect Ukrainians’ view of the United States and if it would have “shaken their faith in us."

The texts also suggest that Mr. Volker, a former ambassador to NATO, was deeply intertwined in efforts by the president and Mr. Giuliani to press the Ukrainians into action.

Mr. Volker’s name appears several times in an anonymous C.I.A. whistle-blower complaint that set off the impeachment inquiry, and Mr. Giuliani has said publicly he briefed Mr. Volker on his efforts. The complaint centers on a July call Mr. Trump had with Mr. Zelensky, in which he pressed him to investigate Mr. Biden, and asserts that Mr. Volker advised the Ukrainians on how to “navigate” Mr. Trump’s demands.

In his session with investigators, Mr. Volker presented himself as a diplomat caught in the middle “trying to solve a problem” and help Ukraine, but as someone who was not “fully in the loop” on the president’s campaign to pressure Ukraine to investigate his rivals, according to a person briefed on his testimony.

Mr. Volker told investigators that even as he agreed to set up a meeting between Mr. Giuliani and Mr. Zelensky’s top aide, he warned Mr. Giuliani that he believed the conspiracy theories Mr. Giuliani was pursuing were unfounded. While there may have been Ukrainians interested in influencing the United States government, Mr. Volker told investigators that he thought it was implausible that Mr. Biden or the Hillary Clinton campaign did anything wrong.

Mr. Volker told the committee staff that he was never informed that Mr. Trump raised Mr. Biden or the 2016 election during the July 25 phone call, nor was he shown the rough transcript afterward. He was in Ukraine at the time and met the next day with Mr. Zelensky, who he said raised no concerns about the call with him.

In his testimony, Mr. Volker told investigators he believed Mr. Taylor was a diplomat of high integrity. But he also said he did not see the freezing of the assistance as directly linked to Mr. Trump’s interest in beginning a new Ukraine investigation as Mr. Taylor did, according to a person familiar with the testimony.

Mr. Taylor concluded that the assistance was linked to Mr. Trump’s desire for new investigations in Ukraine based on news reports, Mr. Volker testified, according to the person. While Mr. Taylor feared the aid would never come, Mr. Volker told House investigators he was sure that Congress or the Pentagon would force the administration to release the assistance and the issue would be resolved. Mr. Volker believed if he could persuade Mr. Trump that Mr. Zelensky was trustworthy, he could push the relationship to a better place, he said in his testimony.

Mr. Volker told the committee that he did not act at Mr. Pompeo’s behest but briefed the secretary of state who approved of his actions. He also said he kept John R. Bolton, then the national security adviser, informed.

The interview, which Mr. Volker participated in voluntarily, took place out of public view. The text exchange was part of a trove of more than 60 pages of documents, many of them texts, that Mr. Volker provided before he arrived.

Mr. Volker resigned on Friday from his part-time, unpaid State Department post without public explanation. A person familiar with his thinking said the longtime diplomat concluded he could no longer be effective in the post in light of the unfolding scandal. But the resignation also freed him to appear before the House investigators without restrictions, according to people familiar with his account.

Democrats are pushing their impeachment investigation forward with haste, issuing near-daily requests or subpoenas for documentary evidence and witness testimony.

The session with Mr. Volker was the first in what is expected to be a fast-paced series of interviews in the coming weeks, when Democrats aim to bring a parade of witnesses behind closed doors for questioning. Ms. Yovanovitch is expected to appear next week.

Other State Department diplomats, including Mr. Sondland, and associates of Mr. Giuliani’s are scheduled to participate, as well, but it remains to be seen whether they will appear voluntarily. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo told the committee this week that its requests were inappropriately aggressive and untenable.

Maggie Haberman contributed reporting from New York, and Lara Jakes from Washington.

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saltyfilmmajor · 6 years ago

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FROM RECKLESS MEN TO EMOTIONAL DISASTERS

AN ANALYTICAL EVALUATION OF THE AESTHETIC QUALITIES OF A FEW FAMOUS TOM CRUSE CHARACTERS

To start off, yes, I’m doing another essay on this. (Mel, this doesn’t change the fact that we are fighting because you know I’m right. So, write a paper or admit that I’m right.) This was requested by @sweetbouquetartisane because she wants to hear my thoughts on why I find Mr. Tom Cruise attractive, on a physical level anyway. And I am very inclined to write this first in the series of essays that will come out soon. But I digress, the main point is that Tom Cruise is a very good-looking man and that characters he plays from movie to movie bring out very different responses from me. So let’s dive head first on the characters of Barry Seal, Jack Harper, Ethan Hunt, and Danny Kaffee. This order corresponds from least favorite to most favorite. I don’t hate any of these characters. In fact, I love them. A little too much. But l Digress.

American Made, for me as a film, was something I wished to watch for the historical nature of it, given that it sort of documents the situation surrounding the Iran-Contra affair (look forward to that essay soon). And so when I watched it the very first time this week, I was excited. I had never watched a film that directly talks about this stuff, especially with such a big-name star like Tom Cruise. He plays Barry Seal, a very crazy man irl who worked for the CIA and The Medellín Cartel and ultimately died before the Iran Contra Scandal went public. Now I’m supposed to hate this character very much cause of his involvement with said cartel and CIA, but from his very first words, he grabbed my heart and never let go. GOD, he’s so fucking charming it is insane. He speaks in a slight southern accent, he flies like a mad man. HE SPEAKS FUCKIN SPANISH, I JUST.

So, a bit of context about why that is important. Before I watched this film I was away in Guatemala visiting family for two weeks. Because of that, I was limited to Spanish only conversation. It got me thinking. Mel and I had a discussion on this about how great it would be if Ethan Hunt would speak Spanish on screen. We never get to hear it in a movie, and it was a very fun conversation. So I watched American Made the day I returned home, not knowing that Tom would be speaking Spanish. I FUCKIN LOST MY SHIT. I just couldn’t FUNCTION. And he starts off with very limited Spanish and over the course of the movie he gets a bit better. MEL AND I JUST LOST IT. I showed it to her the second time I watched (but she does not like Barry, she likes Schafer and she hasn’t watched to the end of the film.)

The outfits they put Barry in this movie, like in every scene almost, he has the Sleeves™ and Mel and I LOVE THE SLEEVES. Tom Cruise with rolled up sleeves, very good yes. Also, Mel, I know you appreciate when Tom is wearing a uniform and he wears a pilot uniform for a good portion of the beginning of the movie.

HE LOVES HIS WIFE SO DAMN MUCH. AND WHEN SHIT HITS THE FAN THAT’S THE ONLY THING HE CARES ABOUT, HIS FAMILY’S WELLBEING. THE VOICE KINK IS STRONG IN THIS MOVIE FOR ME. (yes Tumblr I have a voice kink, the least Extra™ of any kink I’ve ever admitted to, shut up. Well, that and the Sleeves™.) Also, he fucks his wife in a plane and it just stresses me the fuck out but also makes me feel things. I’m very conflicted about it.

Jack Harper, The Softest™ Man. I can’t thirst over him, it breaks my heart too much. BUT THAT WON’T STOP ME. Look, he just wants to live a peaceful life away from this bullshit. And HE JUST LOVES THE EARTH SO FUCKIN MUCH. AND VIKA IS JUST A STICKLER FOR THE RULES. LET HIM KEEP HIS FLOWER FOR FUCK’S SAKE. PLEASE DON’T HURT HIM HE JUST WANTS TO BE HAPPY AND LIVE LIFE ON EARTH. (also, he does have that scene where he’s restrained and its…. fuck)

Ethan Hunt. Ethan Fucking Hunt. THIS MAN DRINKS RESPECT WOMEN JUICE FOR BREAKFAST LUNCH AND DINNER. He is such a badass and he cares so much about his loved ones it’s crazy. He just wants to protect the world and he fights his government to do the greater good. He clings of a plane, free climbs the side of mountains, marries Julia in the hospital before the mission (and then proceed to fuck in the medical supplies…JULIA YOU ARE A NURSE WHAT THE FUCK.) He looks damn good wearing a tux and riding a bike. He has the sleeves in fallout. I just love him a lot.

Like ok look, not to go too in depth about Ethan’s character (Look forward to that essay as well) but he is an Extra Spy who cares too much and risks his life because ultimately he cannot let anyone die. He won’t allow it. The mission is all he has left, he has no life outside of that because he learned early on that the risk is too much for his loved ones. He’s always ready to die for the sake of a mission, and he speaks French and Russian. So, in turn, he dedicates himself to being the best agent, not for the sake of his government, however, (because the government is shown to be very sketchy.) It’s the embodiment of the thesis posited by James Bond in Skyfall. In Skyfall, when Bond is meeting Q for the first time they have this conversation of Technology vs Old-school Tradecraft

Bond: Oh, so why do you need me?

Q: Every now and then a trigger has to be pulled.

Bond: Or not pulled. It's hard to know which in your pajamas.

Ethan Hunt is the embodiment of the critical thinking in the espionage trade. By that I mean, after his first mission gone wrong, he thinks about the decisions he makes. And it’s nice that people consider the consequences of their actions and don’t go shooting everyone who crosses their path. Ethan Hunt Certified Badass and Respecter of women. (also he has the scene in with the pole). He has an engineering degree and he was in the army. He DOUBLE MAJORED IN ENGINEERING AND INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS! HE’S A SMART BOI AND I LOVE AND RESPECT HIM VERY MUCH! JUST LET HIM LIVE A HAPPY AND NORMAL LIFE. (also he has those scenes...)

And lastly our last candidate for evaluation. You know who it is, THAT’S RIGHT. LT. DANIEL ALLISTER KAFFEE SMARTEST SMARTASS TO EVER SMARTASS IN THE HISTORY OF SMARTASSERY. (Did I ever mention I have a thing for lawyers?) This is different from all the others I’ve mentioned here. Like Kaffee is not the Tom Cruise Action Hero™ he is a quietly intense drama boi. He’s insecure and masks it with a layer of cockiness because he is afraid of the shadow of his father’s legacy. It’s just so sad. He’s a very smart Boi who doesn’t apply himself because he understands that litigation is an artwork to itself and he’s trying to make sure his clients get the best deal possible. He knows that if his case goes to trial he cannot control the outcome, he can present his case but at the end of the day, it is up to the jury to decide whether his clients are guilty or not. I could discuss Kaffee, my actual husband, all day. He has some certifiable looks in this movie.

HE HAS HIS REGULAR NAVY UNIFORM.

HIS SOFTBALL OUTFIT

THE JOCK OUTFIT

THE WHITE NAVY UNIFORM

And my absolute favorite HIS CLASS A UNIFORM.

HE HAS EVERYTHING I LIKE. ROLLED UP SLEEVES? CHECK! TOM CRUISE IN JEANS? CHECK! SMARTASSERY? DOUBLE CHECK! UNIFORMS? CHECK FROM HERE TO COLOMBIA! ISSUES WITH AUTHORITY? CHECKAMUNDO! (also his reluctantly subbish tendencies, but not everyone is into that. BUT FUCK YOU MEL, I’M RIGHT JUST ADMIT IT)

LOOK MY ACTUAL HUSBAND DANIEL KAFFEE

This man is such a disaster, he doesn’t know how to eat apples, he gets sick on boats (Jesus Christ Kaffee, You’re in the Navy.) All he has in his house is Yoohoo and Coco Puffs, He has a baseball bat fetish (not the sexual definition, the witchcraft one.) He fuckin walked in the rain drunk af and then proceeded to drive a few blocks looking for Joanne, while still drunk (Sam WHAT THE FUCK, WHY DID YOU LET HIM DRIVE???) When he tells Jessup to return to the stand and he drinks water, he’s fuckin shaking. He swears when he’s frustrated. His voice, oh my fuck, HIS VOICE. He gesticulates a lot in court as well (I’m thinking about his cross-examination of the doctor specifically) I don’t know why but I find that endearing. The way he speaks in court is so smart, and when he whispers, It just. IT’S Like ASMR but I like it instead of being creeped out. He just, GOD HIS VOICE. I LOVE IT. He never has a pen on his person, like Danny, sweetheart, please. He just. GOD I THINK I’M IN LOVE.

So that’s essentially my Deep Dive™ on Tom Cruise characters that I’ve watched this week. He’s just so charming in all these roles and they all have something different to offer. All are distinct people: Barry Seal, the most fucking reckless man ever. Jack Harper, the softest soul who just loves earth please just let him keep his flower. Ethan Hunt, the most badass Extra™ spy who consumes gallons of respect women juice. Daniel Kaffee, my Harvard educated smartass who is very fucking stupid. Each of them just provides me with a very different experience emotionally, but they all have their merits and I love them all.

(Mel, fuck you. I’m Right.)

#tom cruise #a few good men #tom thirst #or Tomrst™#ethan hunt #american made #jack harper #deep dives #supergeekytoon #essays #my essays

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team-science-mega-nerds · 6 years ago

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30 Miles East: Chapter Two

One night, instead of drinking, Alex gets the brilliant idea to cut her hair. She’s bored, and Kara’s busy saving the world as a journalist for a change, so she just kinda goes for it. Her brain short circuits into panic when she sees what she’s done, and she is a second away from drowning herself in booze when she gets the bright idea to actually be an active participant in her own life.

Vasquez arrives about an hour later with hair clippers. But she refuses to actually do anything about Alex’s hair until she gets some quality cuddle time with Xena, and at least five minutes to laugh at Alex’s attempt at living out her teenage angst. Despite being so annoying, Vasquez is really good at doing hair, and as she’s clipping away, she kind of chuckles to herself. “You’re gonna look so gay.” Alex rolls her eyes, but when she turns around she’s actually stunned.

Vasquez has given her an undercut, and trimmed the rest of her hair just enough to give it a nice flow at the top of her head. “You like it, right?” Alex loves it. She loves it so much that she volunteers to cat sit for Vasquez next weekend, while she goes to some Con in Metropolis.

Her confidence is boosted when she stops by L-Corp, and hears someone shout “Damn!” through a conference room. When she turns around Lena is racing after her with a grin. “Alex, you look amazing.” They head toward her office where Jess actually drops her mug when she sees Alex. “Jess...you’re a hot mess,” Lena says before rushing over to help her clean up.

“Didn’t mean to cause an uproar,” Alex jokes. Jess blushes, and Lena looks between them laughing. When things have settled, Alex finds herself sitting out on Lena’s balcony munching on her lunch across from Lena.

This is...weird, Alex thinks. Mostly because a year ago she would never think that she’d be spending any time with Lena, let alone going out of her way to do so. But they both love Kara, and that gave them an actual avenue to connect, and their brains pretty much did the rest. Alex likes the way Lena’s always up for a challenge. She enjoys the hint of defiance that always colors their conversations. It’s actually nice to have a friend who isn’t constantly hovering around the subject of Maggie as if Alex will break if her name gets mentioned.

Because Alex did break, and she is broken, but that doesn’t mean she won’t find a way to keep existing. “Why didn’t you tell anyone that you were getting a haircut? You know Kara’s going to be upset about not getting to do fun before and after pictures.”

“I just kinda did it. Vasquez helped me look presentable, at least.” Alex runs her fingers through her hair, still loving the way it feels.

“Well, it’s so you,” Lena adds. “So, enough about you. I have a new project I’m working on,” Lena starts. “It’s basically an attachment for your bike.”

“It’s Ducati specific?”

“It’s Alex specific.” Lena says jabbing at Alex’s hand. “Kara has been worried about you, so why not make you safer?”

“She’s always worried,” Alex reminds Lena who shrugs, and goes into the details of a really kick ass attachment. Alex is just about to ask how soon she can check out the prototype, when Sam sticks her head out of the balcony door.

“Lena, the Russians are on the line, and-.” Sam stops suddenly when she sees Alex. Her eyes going a little wide. “Oh, hey Alex, I didn’t know you were here.”

“Are they asking about the merger?” Lena questions.

“Yes, and they think you’re going over their heads on the public park.”

“It’s a park. Parks have green space, right Alex?” Alex isn’t sure if she’s actually supposed to answer Lena, so she just kind of nods. She checks her watch, and sees that she should be going anyway.

“I should get back to work,” Alex says, standing up, “Don’t forget about the prototype,” She reminds Lena. “Oh, and be nice to the Russians, if I have to stop a nuke I’m gonna be really pissed off.” Lena waves her off.

As Alex walks past Sam, she gives her a smile. Simple, noncommittal, but nice enough. “I made brownies,” Sam sort of whispers to Alex.

“Brownies?”

“For the meeting tonight. They’re double fudge if...you’re interested.” Sam glances over her shoulder at Lena who obviously can’t hear them, but is studying the interaction through the window anyway.

“Okay.” Alex thinks Sam has a funny way of trying to get her to show up, but she admires the try. She also admires Sam’s sleek black blazer, black pants, and fitted white button up. The heels are a nice touch, and they make Sam’s legs look kind of amazing. Sam waves as Alex leaves, and Alex debates hugging her before she goes. She doesn't.

Jess blushes again, when Alex says bye, and Alex feels a little more confident during the rest of her day at the DEO.

Alex does go to the AA meeting. She surprises herself when she speeds past her apartment, and keeps going until she’s back at that stupid little church. She gives Kara a call and tells her that Xena needs her aunt for a few hours, and the sudden gust of wind she hears over the phone, tells her that Kara is already on her way to Alex’s apartment.

Catherine hugs her when she sees her this time. She says long time no see , but it doesn’t make Alex feel ashamed, just welcome. Sam is setting up the food table as Alex steps further into the room. “You showed.”

“There was food involved.” Alex knows it’s a bit of a push, and Sam knows that too, but she cuts a giant brownie out for Alex and hands it to her anyway.

Alex does actually talk a little this time. Her hands kind of shake when she admits that she is an alcoholic, but she finds her rhythm talking about Kara, and how supportive she was during some of the tougher years. She realizes about halfway through that she isn’t even really talking about herself or alcohol, just that she feels like she doesn’t know how to be the person everyone needs her to be. That really seems to resonate with Sam, because Alex can see the tears welling up in her eyes.

Andre makes a really big deal about a barbecue that he’s hosting the following weekend. It’s open to everyone, and their families, but everyone needs to bring something to the party. Catherine literally shouts “no alcohol though”, and Alex and Sam laugh in unison while they try and find a way to split up the remaining brownies.

Alex has fun, and it makes her feel like actual garbage knowing that she’s going to go home, and have to lie to Kara. Sam must sense Alex’s uneasiness, so when they’re walking to the parking lot, “My kid’s at scout camp this weekend. Do you wanna go get ice cream or something?”

“You’re trying to give me a sugar overdose,” Alex says with a smile. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“I know a place.”

“Fine, but I won’t be caught dead in a minivan until I have a kid of my own. You’re coming with me.” Alex reaches into the pack sitting on the back of her bike, and pulls out a helmet.

“You’re kidding.”

“Don’t worry, I’m pretty good at this.” It isn’t all that convincing considering Sam knows that Alex has driven the bike drunk, but she still reaches out, and takes the helmet anyway. They bundle the brownies, and put them into the bike storage, before they slide on. “You have to actually hold on.” Sam wraps her arms around Alex’s waist, and they head to a dainty little mom and pop ice cream parlor just a few miles away.

Sam gets a vanilla scoop, which Alex almost laughs at until Sam piles on chocolate chips, sprinkles, hot fudge, and strawberry sauce. Alex goes for the chocolate chip cookie dough, and puts on some marshmallows and extra chocolate chips. They find themselves sitting at a booth in the corner of the shop. “So do you want kids?”

“Huh?”

“You said that you wouldn’t be caught dead in a minivan until you had kids. Do you want them?” Sam repeats.

“Yeah, I guess. I mean...yes.” Alex looks down at her spoon. “My ex-fiance didn’t so hence the downward spiral.”

“Why didn’t he want kids?” That almost makes Alex laugh. “He”. She really was going to have to come out to every single person she ever met.

“ She had a rough childhood. Her parents kicked her out because she was gay, and I think...I think she just finally wanted a life for herself.” Alex sounded rehearsed, because she never quite understood Maggie’s reason fully. Sam was proof that a person could be successful and have a kid - apparently be an alcoholic too - all while having a pretty decent life. “I like taking care of people.” Alex eats another bite of ice cream. “Hilarious, I know.”

“It’s actually really...charming.” Sam says with a smile.

“So, what’s the deal with you being all secretive and shit?” Alex asks out of the blue. She knows it’s out of the blue because Sam looks totally baffled when the words leave her mouth. “You keep saying “my kid”. No names.”

“They train you well at the FBI, don’t they?”

“Yep.”

“Well, Ruby is very special to me. I just want to protect her.” Sam says it so directly, that Alex knows that’s all there is to it.

“Is there another parent in the picture?” That’s a sore subject, so Alex goes in to deflect for Sam. “Sorry, that was way too personal.”

“It’s okay. Ruby’s father really hasn’t been a part of my life for awhile now. He never really was,” Sam explains. “Fuck him.” Sam shakes her head at that thought. And Alex knows that feeling. Maybe not exactly, but when she’s not in a full on depression about Maggie, she’s angry at her. “Sorry.”

“Nah, you deserve to have some fire. It suits you.” Sam blushes, and Alex realizes that she really loves making women blush. She never really had the opportunity before, because Maggie was the one making her flustered. But now? New hair, new person, Alex thought.

“Your haircut suits you.”

“Oh yeah? You don’t really know me though.”

“What makes you think that Lena hasn’t told me absolutely everything about you?” Good point. “Not that she has, or actually would.” Better point . “She actually kept me very up to date on her life. I knew about everything and everyone except...you.”

“Funny, I could say the same about you.”

They go on like that for awhile. Sam holding things back, Alex doing the same, but it’s fun. Sam has a great laugh, so Alex lets some of her goofy side show just to hear it some more. They’ve breached casual by the time they’ve finished their ice cream, and on the way back to Alex’s bike, Sam seems to be kind of tiptoeing around something, and Alex starts to get impatient. She climbs onto the bike with Sam close behind her, but she doesn’t give Sam her helmet just yet. “You’ve gotten very quiet.”

“I’m thinking.”

“About…?”

“Your hair.” Sam lets out a breath against Alex’s neck, it sounds like a laugh. “Can I touch your hair?” It comes across playfully, but Alex briefly considers how bad it’ll be for her ego when she melts under Sam’s touch. Which of course she does as soon as Sam’s long fingers trail against her scalp. Luckily Sam is behind her, so she doesn’t notice how fucking embarrassingly touch starved Alex is. “It’s so soft.” Sam runs her fingers through the rest of her hair, as if she’s trying to find an imperfection, some tangled spots, but it’s smooth because Vasquez had insisted on her actually taking care of her hair at least.

“You sound surprised.”

“You put on a tough front, but you’re a softy. I can tell.”

When Alex goes home that night she convinces herself that she’ll actually try and go to another AA meeting that week. Assuming there isn’t a massive alien attack, she doesn’t fold under the pressure of lying to Kara, and game night doesn’t have her favorite whiskey.

For now, Alex can only manage small promises to herself. But it’s something.

Kara had been suspicious of Alex for a week now. Alex figured maybe a week and two days, but Kara usually didn’t sit on things for that long. (Besides not telling the entire world that she’s Supergirl, of course). But this was actually rather surprising. Alex found out that Kara had been asking a few questions behind her back, which didn’t mean much, except Vasquez seemed to think that Kara was worried about Alex’s romantic life.

Apparently, spending more than two days a week having a private life was way too much for Kara to comprehend, so Kara was certain that Alex was dating again. Not to mention the new haircut. All roads pointed to love, and Kara had been scavenging everyone in a desperate attempt at finding out the truth.

Everyone except Alex.

So Alex cornered Kara, and asked her if she wanted to spar, and Kara quickly jumped at the opportunity. When they got into the room, Alex turned on the Kryptonite inhibitors, and they both walked into the ring. Alex thought it was funny that Kara insisted on changing her clothes. Alex reminded her that training is to prepare for the field, and unless Supergirl was going to be running around wearing unicorn leggings and a tank top, Kara should actually keep on her uniform.

Kara ignored her, which Alex probably should’ve expected.

“We haven’t done this in awhile.” Kara says as they start circling each other. That makes Alex feel a little sad. She had been very wrapped up in Maggie, Kara had been wrapped up with Mon-el too, but still. They didn’t get to spend enough time with each other ever. It occurs to Alex as Kara is trying to sweep her legs out from under her, that Kara does actually look older. Saving the world has taken a toll on her, and so has loss. Instead of punching Kara right now, she just wants to hug her, and Kara notices the change in Alex’s demeanor. “What?”

“Nothing, keep going.” Kara’s gotten slower. You would think that after three years of training and fighting and learning, that she would’ve gotten faster or at least more precise. But Alex makes easy work of Kara, flipping her over her shoulders, and hovering over her. Kara was more free years ago. She didn’t have so much strain, all this pressure.

“I’ve noticed that lately your fights have been more rushed. You go for big knockout punches, and that’s it.” Alex helps Kara back up to her feet.

“Less risk that way.”

“Less risk for everyone else maybe, not for you.” Alex stares at Kara for a long moment before looking away. “You’re too afraid to make mistakes.”

“Are you saying I should fail more?”

“Yes, actually.” They start sparring again. Kara acts like she has something to prove, but her kicks are late, and Alex could be doing this with her eyes closed. “Clark’s a perfectionist. You never were, your emotions are what make you stronger.”

“Yes, sensei,” Kara says with a chuckle.

“You’re so weird.”

“Speaking of weird, Lena said that you and Sam were talking.” Kara tries to cover up the obvious prying by throwing an uppercut, but Alex blocks her, and kicks her in the side. “Okay, time out! Ow.” Kara holds her side, and Alex rests her hands on her hips, and laughs.

“Talking? As in saying two words as I was leaving Lena’s office?”

“Kinda. Maybe? She said it was more than two,” Kara looks at Alex pointedly. “She seems nice.”

“Sure.”

“And she’s really...tall?”

“Kara.”

“Yes.” Kara bites her nails, watching as Alex slumps back against the wall. “Sorry, I’m not trying to say anything more. I literally just think that you two could be friends. She’s new here, and Lena says that she’s kinda a museum buff, and you love museums. Plus she’s Lena’s friend, so she’s gotta be awesome, right? And it’s good to have friends, and Lena is sooo busy with work, so if she spends all her time hanging out with Sam, then I’ll like barely see her-”

“Wait, are you seriously trying to force me to be friends with some rando so you can hang out with Lena?” Of course, she was. Because this was Kara, and she had to always find the nicest way to get what she wanted.

“Kinda. I...wait, what did you think I was trying to do? Oh.” Kara frowned. “ Oh. Sorry, Alex, I don’t think Sam’s…”

“I’m heartbroken,” Alex deadpanned. “Why don’t you just, oh I don’t know, talk to Lena. Tell her that you miss hanging out.”

“I don’t want to bother her.”

“She’s your best friend. You can’t bother a best friend, or a sister.” Alex gives Kara a reassuring smile. “I’m here for you too. Whether you wanna spar or talk, don’t be afraid to ask.”

If Alex had actually known that Kara asking her to come over and “hang out” actually meant that they would be repainting her walls and fixing her window, then she would’ve definitely continued her X-Files marathon with Xena. And by they , Alex - of fucking course - means Kara, Lena, and Sam. Thankfully, Alex left Xena with Winn who was apparently building something special that was top secret, but he was very happy to have the company.

Kara threw a tank top at Alex’s face when she walked through the door, and told her to put it on. Lena and Kara were on window duty, which apparently consisted of them creating some kind of DIY stain glass effect, while Sam was taping down painter’s tape around the edges of the wall. This was the first time Alex had seen Sam dressed down, and her light grey joggers and black t-shirt made her look like some kind of dressed down gymnast, while Alex was sure that she looked like someone who was ready to fall asleep on a couch. Which was what she was planning on doing an hour ago.

Alex yanked off her shirt, and threw on the tank-top that Kara had given her. When she approached Sam, she had a sort of half smile emerging, and Alex thought it was really a good look for her. Alex peered down at the paint, and saw that Kara was going with a pastel yellow, and before Alex could say a thing, “It’s so the sun will reflect off it, and make the room really bright.”

“I figured.” Alex helped Sam climb onto a ladder, so that she could finish protecting the ceiling. It baffled her, how easily Kara could get people to do anything. Lena was obviously in love with Kara and Alex was forced to love her out of sisterly obligation, but what the hell was Sam’s excuse? Sam didn’t even know her, and here she was painting her walls. Didn’t she have a kid? Alex wondered what Ruby thought of all this.

“She’s really adventurous. She wants to try everything and right now it’s Girl Scouts. They are rushing to get their badges now because they want to outsell this other troop later in the year. Their leaders really discourage parents from being overbearing, which is something I’m actually trying to adhere to. I pick her up tomorrow morning at Three Rivers.” Sam starts pouring the paint into the paint tray, and grabbing a roller. She pushes another roller into Alex’s hands, “I’m not doing all this alone.”

“How did you know…?”

“People have always given me that look. They either think I’ve ruined my life by having a kid or that I’m ruining my kids life by having a life of my own.”

“I don’t think that.” Alex immediately regrets starting at the center of the wall because she knows that the corners are gonna be a pain in the ass later. “I admire the things you do. I’m sure Ruby does too.” Alex knows what it’s like to be judged, and she certainly won’t put Sam through that. “I don’t do free labor by the way, Kara.”

Kara gasps dramatically, and she and Lena say in unison we know . Kara assures Alex that there will be food, and lots of it in a few minutes. “Better be.”

“For two people who are so obsessed with food, you wouldn’t know it by looking at you.” Sam says making a point by nodding at Alex and Kara’s arms. “What regiment are you on? Steroids?”

“Boxing. And kickboxing. All kinds of boxing really.” Alex honestly hates having to listen to Kara lie because she’s so terrible at it.

“Is that how you hurt your arm?” Sam asks, looking at the fading scar on Alex’s forearm.

“Something like that.” Sam’s comfortable enough to just let it go. “What about you? I mean, I know Lena gets her exercise by metaphorically curb stomping men, but what do you do?” Lena lets out a “hey!” from across the room, but Alex ignores her.

“I do yoga with my daughter in the morning sometimes. I go on the occasional run too.” Sam shrugs a little, like she’s embarrassed to be put on the spot.

“Well, it seems to be working for you,” Alex says, and she can hear Lena shushing Kara so she can listen in. Alex likes the distance between them though, and she likes the way Sam pushes her hair back behind her ear. She is undoubtedly attracted to Sam, but she knew that the moment she saw her, now it’s just a matter of quelling that attraction for the sake of her own sanity.

For starters, Sam is really not interested in Alex. She knows this because Sam obviously thinks ( knows ) that Alex is a mess. She also knows this because Sam knows about all the baggage that’s weighing Alex down, and Alex could never imagine a reality where that would be attractive to anyone. Alex also suspects that Sam said something to Lena who then said something to Kara, and that was why Kara seemed rather certain about Sam’s sexuality.

Alex shouldn’t even be thinking about this. She supposed to be painting. “Thanks.” Alex finally hears Kara and Lena getting into their usual scream fests over whatever hot journalism topic is relevant this week, and they’re far enough away to not listen in. Alex chances a glance over at Sam, who glances back with a smile. “You’re staring.” Sam whispers.

“I’m thinking about Andre.”

“Ooooh, he’s like seventy. Kinky.” Alex nudges Sam’s side.

“I meant...the barbecue. I might go.” Alex looks over at Sam hopefully, “Now’s the time that you say that you might go too.”

“I am going. Ruby and I made these cheesy potatoes that will probably give everyone a heart attack.”

“You’re bringing your kid? I mean...she knows that you’re…”

“Yeah,” Sam seems very content with that fact. “I like being honest with her. I need to be.” Alex knows that Sam isn’t judging her, but with Kara and Lena in the room, Alex considers how easy it would be just to have some honesty for a change. “You should come, but you have to bring something, or Andre will do that thing with his face.” Alex has only been to six meetings and she knows exactly what Sam is talking about. “Do you know where his house is?”

“I still don’t really get this AA thing. I mean, shouldn’t we be not fraternizing.”

“What’s the point if you’re alone in the fight?” Sam says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “This is different, but I love it. Sometimes we have to be reminded that we’re people, don’t you think? It’s better than being alone ‘cause that’s pretty much what got me in trouble in the first place.” Sam eyeballs her work, before asking to switch angles with Alex. “Give me your number.”

“Okay. Why?”

“So I can text you Andre’s address.” Alex immediately starts regretting the choice to give Sam her number, when she reconsiders the fact that she used to have a very bad habit of drunk dialing people. And it’s not like she was sober queen of the world, she just hadn’t had a drink in three days, and she was pretty certain that wouldn’t last because she knew that Maggie’s birthday was coming up, and they had this whole trip planned to go to Niagara Falls.

The food arrives, and Alex has to remind Kara - twice - that there are other people here who might actually want to eat too. Alex and Sam sit on the couch while Kara and Lena throw pillows on the floor, and half lay down. Halfway through another one of Lena’s work stories, Sam’s feet end up on Alex’s lap. She gives her a look that asks “is this okay?” and Alex nods because Sam is warm, and she looks comfortable, and she doesn’t want to make a big deal about anything.

Kara can’t resist the urge to make everyone uncomfortable so she ends up making a comment about how cute Sam and Alex look sitting there with paint all over themselves.

When they’re leaving Sam is the one that gives everyone hugs. She hangs on to Alex for a second longer just to say, “I’ll text you”, and of course Kara cocks her head to the side because she would be using her super hearing. Alex doesn’t have the energy to make up an excuse, so she just lets Kara make fun of her while they’re cleaning up the mess they made.

Driving home feels very freeing, but cold. Alex misses having someone to come home to. She misses warmth during the night. And as she’s falling asleep, Alex thinks about the barbecue, and Sam. She imagines that Sam will hug her, and she will be content, and Alex will finally be warm again.

Alex wakes up at four in the morning. She doesn’t mean to, but it gives her exactly seven hours to figure out what she’s going to bring to the barbecue. Alex isn’t used to bringing anything but booze to a party, so she wants this to actually be good. She doesn’t know how to bake, but she does know how to look on the internet, and pretend like she has some idea about what to do. She tries, and fails miserably.

It’s now six in the morning.

She could just grab something from the store, but for some reason she has some serious motivation this morning, and isn’t ready to give up. Alex calls Lena and isn’t surprised that she’s up, but is surprised that Lena offers to come over and help. Lena tells Alex that they’re going to make a pie, and as they set out the ingredients, Alex is certain that this is going to fail too. “I do know how to cook, in case you were wondering. I spent like half of my youth watching the Food Network .” And she’s right. Alex does all the easy stuff like cut apples and heat up the oven. Lena makes the crust, and a lattice top with practiced ease.

“Why are you making a pie?” Lena says it like the thought only occurred to her now, and Alex is comforted by the fact that Lena considers her such a good friend that she didn’t even question Alex’s motives before.

“If I told you then you’d have to lie to Kara.” Alex watches Lena’s face fall. “Exactly.”

“I can, you know. I just don’t like to.” Lena sticks the pie in the oven, and crosses her arms over her chest. “Are you in grave danger?”

“Grave danger that involves pie?”

“It’s been known to happen.”

“No.” Alex begins making a pot of coffee, while Lena sits on the counter. “And I will tell Kara eventually, so please don’t worry.”

“Okay.”

Lena will worry, and eventually being the cause of that will force Alex to admit what’s been going on. But for now, Alex is perfectly happy listening to music, and hearing Lena talk shit about how James buys all his shirts one size too small so that he’ll look as strong as Superman. They get a bit lost in talking about their relationship insecurities, and Alex has to hold back on her advice because she knows she’s bound to tell Lena that she and Kara are perfect for each other. When the pie is finally done, Alex says that she just needs to change her clothes really quick, but Lena is welcome to go through her stuff, and find an embarrassing picture of Kara or something.

When Alex reemerges from her room, Lena is flailing around on a stool, laughing, and trying not to shoot her coffee out of her nose. Alex walks over and sees that Lena has found a picture of Alex at prom. With a boy. In between giggles, Lena slides Alex’s phone towards her, and says that she got a text.

It’s from Sam, and Alex suspects that Lena already knows that.

[SAM]: Let me know when you get here, I have like 30 things to warn you about before you actually come inside

Alex is both disturbed and intrigued, but she mostly just wonders why Sam is there so damn early. Lena is chugging water, and complaining about how she laughed so hard that no oxygen got to her head for like five minutes. “A brain dead CEO, like we don’t have enough leaders like that as it is,” Alex mumbles. That throws Lena into another fit of laughter, which gives Alex enough time to respond to Sam.

[ALEX]: Why are you there early? I know Andre is basically our leader, but do we get extra sobriety coins if we show up early?

[SAM]: I hope so, otherwise I’m totally wasting my time.

[SAM]: I’ll see you soon? Drive safe.

Alex smiles a little at her phone, and Lena clears her throat loudly, before standing, taking a bow and heading for the door. “My secret pie making mission is done. I’ll see you tomorrow at game night?”

“Oh, yeah, I’ll see you then.”

“It’s at my house.” Lena looks very proud saying it. Alex is happy she took her advice. “Don’t be late.” As Lena leaves, and Alex begins packing up the pie to take to a fucking AA barbecue, Alex thinks that this is as weird as her life has ever been.

And she really really likes it.

And if you enjoyed reading or re-reading, here’s my Kofi

#danvarias #agentreign #supergirl #alex danvers #sam arias #lena luthor

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dreadhaus-literature · 6 years ago

Text

{January Collection} #18

I really just had some fun with this; it’s already late, I have to leave early for an airport run, and I can’t spend hours writing another smutty piece so I went with a more...light-hearted take on obsession. It’s not as wordy, meant to be fast-paced and sweep Monica right off her feet in the process.

Used this for inspiration.

Hometown

Friday’s Theme: Surveys

The census is boring; make up your own!

“I can’t believe how easy this is!”

Monica looked over at her full-time bestie and 24 hour on-call girlfriend, who was gesturing with one arm out in a wide arc, the other cradling a cup of coffee from their favorite shop. The shorter woman laughed good-naturedly, nodding as she switched the sheets of paper on her clipboard to a blank survey page.

“Normally I’d argue, we’re having to talk to strangers but...today hasn’t been too bad.”

Dot slung that free arm around her girlfriend’s waist. “I told you making up these ridiculous questions was the way to go. No need for us to be the only ones uncomfortable through this whole process.”

“True,” Monica adjusted her glasses, “but I don’t see how asking people about their weirdest dream is going to count as a census for our stats class.”

“The census is for nerds,” Dot took a sip of her coffee with a scowl. “This isn’t 1955, if you wanna know how many people are in the world google it. This is the heart and soul of the population! Which is way more important in my opinion.”

Monica just shook her head; she’d let her emotional half take the lead on this particular project for their mutual college class and she was only mildly worried about their project grade. When she got back to their apartment she may have to double check just what the percentage of this project counts toward their final grade...but as long as Dot as having fun, Monica wasn’t going to complain. She’d hated the idea of having to go door to door in New York City, of all places, but this professor of theirs was real old school and wanted an accurate picture of their hometown so door to door was the assigned task. The subject of the survey that students were supposed to ask about was at their own discretion--which was exactly what Dot was wanting to hear. She volunteered to put together a questionnaire that was “guaranteed to make the recipients just as uncomfortable answering the questions as we are asking them!” Monica didn’t know...how she felt about that, but in the end at least asking silly questions made up for the annoying and oftentimes ugly participants as they navigated down another street.

“How many more of these do we have?” Dot tilted her head down, watching Monica count the slips.

“Twelve, so not too bad!” She responded, almost missing Dot’s grimace.

“Seriously? We’ve been at this all damn day, I thought we’d be closer to done.”

“Weren’t you just saying how easy this is?”

Dot poked Monica’s nose with an audible, “Boop,” before continuing. “I said it was easy, not quick, which it isn’t. Gimme six of those, we can split up for the last dozen and get ‘em done faster.”

Monica raised both brows, drawing to a stop on the sidewalk. “You wanna talk to people alone?”

“It’ll make me all the more appreciative when I get to talk to you, alone,” Dot answered with a wry grin, before putting on a pout. “Come on, angel, the new issue of Super-Spider and Deadman comes out tonight and you promised you’d read it to me.”

“i still don’t get why you ask me to read it to you, it’s got pictures.”

“It also has words and your reading voice is the best.”

“I sound like R. Kelly.”

“Who is a gross bag of limp dicks but also has several platinum selling records for having a bomb ass voice so what is your argument again, sweet peach?” Dot fluttered her eyelashes, which earned her a swat to the face with her half of the surveys.

“Fine, fine. Split up and leave your girlfriend all by herself--”

“That fuss isn’t going to work on me, I know last week you got that cute barista’s number because I wasn’t sucking your face in the coffee line,” Dot snatched up the surveys, leaning down to give Monica’s Crentist face a kiss. “Which, by the way, you should text him? He’s gonna think you’re not interested since he’s already text you three times.”

“I-I’m not!”

“Not interested? Reaaaally,” Dot put on her best Kevin Hart voice as she started further down the sidewalk. “He’s Russian and broods when he’s not serving up lattes like a champ. Tell me he’s not your type with a straight face?”

“You’re going to get hit by a car walking backward and I’m not going to help you if that happens!” Monica shot after her.

Dot took a swig of her coffee, in the process of facing forward with a point. “No, you won’t, because you’re going to go--wow, you’re going to go knock on that castle’s front door.”

Monica was so distracted by the word castle she momentarily forgot the argument she was having with Dot about the barista that she...absolutely did find attractive and was too shy to text back because she saw him almost every day thanks to Dot’s coffee addiction. What if she said something lame? ...And when did their hometown get a castle? Monica adjusted her glasses with her free hand, amending her thoughts after another moment or two of staring. This place wasn’t a castle but it definitely did not fit in with the rest of New York’s ever modernizing architecture and Monica definitely did not remember this building always being here. It was stone, several stories high, and seemed like it would be better suited somewhere in Europe than on a bustling city block. Monica glanced a little up the street and saw Dot was already knocking on the door of the next building and it...really was up to her to go ring this doorbell, huh?

This was the last time Dot was in charge of a college project.

“Gonna go knock on this door and greet some ugly motherfucker with a lazy eye and droopy skin because he’s 600 years old,” Monica grumbled, tucking her clipboard closer as she started up the walkway toward what was very likely a haunted mansion. “And he’ll curse me to steal my beauty and then where will I be? Ugly, too, just like him, that’s where.”

The stone steps leading up to the intimidating double front door gave Monica enough time to rethink her decision, but her knuckles had barely tapped against the wood before the door swung open and revealed an...unfairly attractive middle-aged man who immediately locked eyes with her.

“Yes?”

Monica’s voice failed her; she’d been prepared for some frog-looking cretin but she was not prepared for handsome billionaire behind door number one. “I--A-Ah...”

Dr. Stephen Strange lifted his dark brows at the adorable little girl stammering on his front step, but he didn’t interrupt, content to listen to her flounder if only to hear her speak. How long had he been waiting? A glance at the otherwordly watch on the wrist holding the door open told him he’d been waiting nearly 6 weeks for her to arrive, but then that was what he got for using the Eye of Agamotto to peer into the future and ruin things for himself. It was just...he’d never had a fortune so intriguing before.

A beautiful, dark-haired stranger will arrive on your doorstep, asking questions you’ll struggle to answer--not because they are difficult, Strange, but because your heart will be too loud for you to hear them.

Ask her name, bind her as only you know to do, and take the gift the universe has bestowed upon the Sorcerer Supreme.

For weeks, the doorbell had Stephen’s heart racing but it had been nothing but false alarms--but surely, this had to be his stranger. She was stunning. Simply looking at her had the Sorcerer Supreme rethinking his policy on love spells--something he’d staunchly denied even existed because Tony Stark insists that’s the only way he’ll ever find a girlfriend.

Honestly, what does an idiot in a tin can know about magic? Or fashion sense, for that matter?

“I-I am...l-looking for the...A-Are you the...” Monica gripped the clipboard to steady herself, holding in front of her chest like a shield. “Is t-this your home, sir?”

“It is,” Stephen’s regal features softened and he offered Monica a smile, taking his hand off the door frame to offer to her. “Dr. Stephen Strange.”

Monica glanced down at his hand before gingerly putting hers in his. “N-Nice to meet you, Dr. Strange.”

Stephen closed his hand around hers, bending his spine to press a kiss to the back even as his gaze remained riveted to hers. It was an Old World greeting, a call to European roots, and it was a thousand percent an excuse to touch her, and he took it a step further and urged her past the threshold of the Sanctum Sanctorum. He had a better hope of keeping her if she was already inside his ever-changing magical home, after all.

“Stephen, please, my dear.” Stephen swept his free hand around the small of her back as the door closed behind her. “And you are?”

“M-Monica.”

“Monica...what a beautiful name.” Stephen’s long legs drew her deeper into the Sanctorum with a smile she couldn’t help to decode. “Tell me, dear, what are your thoughts on magicians?”

#{theme} : for monica #{collection} : january 2019 #{character} : stephen strange #{ i wanna pick this apart and keep writing because I don't know when to quit }#{ but this was supposed to be written this way }#{ it's...idk what this is }#{ a new style maybe? }#{ whatever i'm not gonna nitpick this to death }

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oneofthosecrazycatladies · 7 years ago

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Arrowverse Re-Watch: Arrow season 1, episode 1 “Pilot”

***Disclaimer: I recommend you read the tags before digging in to this review.

So I’m doing my annual Arrowverse re-watch (where I go back and watch all the Arrowverse shows in chronological order) and this year, I decided I would make these reviews/commentaries about each episode as I re-watch them.

So here goes... WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

Oliver: The name of the island they found me on is Lian Yu. It’s Mandarin for Purgatory. I’ve been stranded here for 5 years.

Okay, don’t get me wrong, the main reason I love Arrow is because the characters are great and real and the stories are so interesting. And Stephen Amell is a fantastic actor, definitely one of the best in the Arrowverse...but hot damn just look at that body

I really don’t like objectifying anyone (of any gender), but art deserves to be appreciated and this body right here is art.

Okay I literally couldn’t find a gif of it anywhere, but that shot of Oliver looking into the mirror and the lightning flashes and you see him in the hood for like a split second...that shot...yeah I love that shot. Ugh it’s so amazing and just chilling.

Okay so apparently a lot of people hated the flashbacks...which I don’t understand??? But I loved the flashbacks. Mostly because I just love flashbacks in general. I mean, they weren’t always super interesting and a lot of the time the flashback storyline wasn’t really as interesting as the main storyline, but I still really liked the flashbacks. I actually kinda miss them sometimes.

TOMMY!

Like basically everyone else in the Arrow fandom, I miss Tommy sooo much. And I know, I know Colin has Chicago Med now, but I gotta be honest...I still haven’t quite gotten over that Tommy (any Earth version) wasn’t Vigilante. Like honestly, what was even the point of making him Vince (or Vinny they literally changed his nickname). God season 6 was such a fucking mess...but more of that later.

Okay so I have a bone to pick with this little moment where Oliver speaks Russian to Raisa. So like I guess it was supposed to demonstrate how Oliver has changed and all that...but like, Oliver’s not stupid. He wouldn’t be so careless as to speak Russian in front of his family and friends when he knows that they know he didn’t speak Russian before the island (thus revealing something about his time away when he’s usually so careful not to let things about that time slip).

I just don’t really like that moment because it seems a bit out of character for him.

Oliver: I didn’t realize you wanted to sleep with my mother, Walter.

Tommy: Have you noticed how hot your sister’s gotten?

It does kinda make me cringe a little though tbh. Although, full disclosure, the first time I ever watched this show, I did kinda ship them. I thought they had great chemistry. Better chemistry than Tommy and L*urel (but we’ll get to that later).

Tommy: So what’d you miss the most; steaks at the Palm, drinks at the station, meaningless sex?

Oliver: L*urel

Oh god here we go with this bullshit...can we just skip to the part where the writers realized that L*uriver was awful and they all jumped on the Olicity train?

Oh look it’s L*urel L*nce, the Queen Bitch of Starling City.

Okay that was an exaggeration...and I don’t actually hate LL, well at least, I don’t hate the idea of her. (Alright, strap yourselves in.)

I feel like LL was only the “real” LL in the first like 3 episodes of season 1 and then like the last 2 episodes before she dies. Every episode in between those she was like the off-brand version of LL. In the first couple episodes, she’s a pretty great character. She genuinely wants to help innocent people, she’s independent, she fights for what she believes in. Other than her being a totally soulless, cold-hearted bitch to Oliver, I actually liked her. But the whole Oliver drama really ruined her. And I blame the writers for that (namely the notorious misogynists Kreisberg and Guggenheim).

So first, they thought that “you cheated on me with my sister” was a great beginning to an epic love story. And then they made her totally cold to Oliver. Like look, as much as I dislike LL, I will always take her side on this issue. Playboy Ollie was a grade A fuckboy jackass and LL has every right to be pissed at him. But...then he spent five years in literal hell. Whatever mistakes he made before the island, he paid for them and then some. Now I know LL doesn’t know all the particulars of what went on in those 5 years, but she must’ve at least seen the movie Cast Away, right? I mean, from her perspective, Oliver spent 5 years completely alone on a deserted island. In that situation he would’ve had to teach himself to hunt and kill animals for food, he would’ve had to learn how to build shelters, he would’ve had literally no one to talk to or interact with for five years. She would’ve had to know that he probably has PTSD...and he comes back and she says “I’d hoped you’d rot in hell a whole lot longer than five years.” Like, are you fucking kidding me?! Why in the fuck would the writers think anyone would ship them with this kind of beginning? How are we supposed to have any sympathy for LL when she won’t even let Oliver try to apologize? And saying that he deserved what happened to him on the island? Jesus fucking Christ. God I couldn’t be more anti-L*uriver if I tried.

I get what (I think) they were trying to go for with LL, but they completely fucked up the execution.

LL: ‘Cause her body was at the bottom of the ocean where you left her. It should’ve been you.

“It should’ve been you.”

Okay bitch let’s go. No one talks to post-island Oliver that way. Ever. Oliver Jonas Queen is a gift to the world and I don’t care what dumbass Ollie Queen did you do not get to say that to Oliver. He has lost and suffered so much, too much. JFC where the fuck is Oliver’s unconditionally loving and supportive wifey when he needs her? Don’t worry bb, only two more episodes and you’re home free.

Mercenary Dude: What did he tell you, Mr. Queen?

Oliver: He told me I’m gonna kill you.

God yes where has this Oliver been the past couple years? Not the kill-happy Oliver, just the intimidating hardcore Oliver that can take down half a dozen guys single-handedly. That’s one of the things I hated about season 6 was how they wrote him so out of character just for plot. Ever since they introduced the newbies in season 5 they’ve written Oliver like he literally can’t even function without having like 5 other people out in the field with him. I don’t mind having a team (I love Roy and Dinah for example) but the team is just too big. (I’ll talk about that in much more detail when we get to seasons 5 and 6 [and that bullshit “civil war”])

Mercenary Dude: You’re delusional. You’re zip-cuffed to that chair.

Oliver: Not anymore.

*shivers*

God the MUSIC! Ugh I love the music in this scene when he’s taking down the kidnappers.

Oh yeah...and this incredible stunt...

And I love that you can tell that Stephen did all these stunts himself. But I especially love the above stunt because it’s so incredible, but like he just does it and it’s as if it’s no big deal because he’s just that physically fit.

QUENTIN!!!

With hair!!!

Oh Quentin deserved so much better than all that nonsense the writers put him through in season 6. But I’m getting ahead of myself here.

I’m just so happy to see him! And to see the journey that he took in the first 4 seasons. (Seasons 5 and 6 [especially 6] weren’t the real Quentin. It had to’ve been one of his doppelgängers because the real Quentin is smarter than to be fooled by BS’ bs).

Ahh did you see what I did there?!

I love Raisa and I’m so happy they brought her back for season 6! I hope she returns again in season 7! I love the way she takes care of the Queen boys!

John Thomas Diggle is in the building ladies and gentlemen! This man is a gift and honestly I sometimes think we don’t deserve him.

Okay I kinda miss seeing Oliver in regular clothes. It seems like, ever since he became mayor, the only civilian clothes we ever see him in are suits. Don’t get me wrong, that man can fill out a suit, he looks delectable...especially when he’s just wearing a button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up (those arms!)

But I also kinda miss just seeing him in like jeans and a t-shirt. Maybe once he gets out of prison we’ll see more of that (since he won’t be mayor).

The whole workout/training sequence is just...

We were completely deprived of shirtless Oliver in season 6 and I just cannot stand for that. We better get like double the amount of shirtless Oliver in season 7 to make up for it.

Tommy: Now, by my rough estimate, you have not had sex in 1,839 days.

Yeah except for Shado and who knows? maybe Sara or even some random girl in Russia.

LL: I’m sorry about saying that you should’ve been the one who died. That was wrong.

Nice apology, LL (this is the real LL I was talking about earlier), but you’re gonna change your mind in like 2 episodes. @jbuffyangel calls this phenomenon “as the Lances turn” (referring to the crazy inconsistencies in how the Lances [especially LL] are written). And I love that phrase I’m totally gonna steal it because it’s so true, but I’ll discuss that more when it flares up in later episodes.

John: I would believe you, Mr. Queen, if you weren’t so full of crap.

John Diggle, ladies and gentlemen, taking none of Oliver’s shit since 2012.

Please, someone, give this man a medal.

Okay but did John and Oliver ever talk about Oliver putting John in that hold and knocking him unconscious? I don’t know why, but I kinda have this headcanon that they never actually did talk about it until like years later (probably after Oliver and Felicity returned from Ivy Town and Oliver and John made up) that John was just like “remember when you knocked me unconscious at your welcome home party”.

Okay I know that it’s Yao Fei’s hood, but I kinda wonder why Oliver didn’t get it lined with Kevlar from the get-go. I mean it’s not like he trained in medieval times and then time-traveled to the 21st century to start his crusade, like he’s aware that guns exist and that a lot of the people he planned to take down would use guns. I mean, he could’ve just gotten Anatoly or someone else in the Bratva, I’m sure they know people who know how to do that.

But at the same time, I guess it kinda fits with his whole persona and his plan. When he first starts out he’s not really waging a full-on war against all crime in the city, he’s just trying to take down the corrupt one-percenters and once he does that he hangs up the hood and moves on with his life. So it makes more sense that his suit is more “raw” because he’s more raw. He doesn’t have a team, doesn’t consider himself a hero. It’s just him and his bow and his list.

So I’m watching the scene where Robert kills himself and it makes me think of the scene in season 5 when Oliver is watching the video that Robert left him and Felicity comes along and is like “wow no prssure” and I’m like yeah! I mean, what a crazy and horrible burden to put on your child. I mean, there they are, Robert’s made all these mistakes, but instead of trying to fix these mistakes himself he’s like “nah I think I’m just gonna tell my son to right my wrongs and then blow my brains out right in front of him leaving him traumatized and completely alone”.

This is Robert:

Like jfc, no wonder Oliver’s so screwed up.

I just don’t get what Tommy sees in LL. I mean, throughout the season they just go on and on about how much Tommy and LL love each other, but I just don’t see anything between them. I mean what did they even have in common besides losing Oliver? I mean the only thing I kind of get about their relationship is LL encouraging Tommy to be a better person. Once again, it’s the idea of LL, but it didn’t really work out that way in execution.

And honestly, you know what the worst part about M*rlance was? Knowing that they only did it to create even more drama between Oliver and LL, but then the fact that the writers ended up dropping L*uriver in favor of Olicity made all that drama pointless. Now obviously I know that the writers didn’t know that L*uriver would be a total bust (though they should’ve) or what Felicity and Olicity would become at the time, but still...hindsight is 20/20 I guess.

Ah Moira, being shady af.

I miss her. I always loved her character and Susanna Thompson is such an amazing actress.

I miss her pretty much for the same reason I miss Tommy: the potential. Both Tommy and Moira never really got to see Oliver become the true hero that he is today. They never got to see Oliver fall in love and have his own family. I feel the same way about Quentin. They could’ve done some great things with him. I always wanted the writers to explore his relationship with Felicity more. They had a great father-daughter kind of relationship in season 2. And especially knowing that Felicity’s father abandoned her and Quentin had lost his daughter, I thought it made so much sense that they sorta would’ve adopted each other as a surrogate family. But no. Instead, the writers went with that BS bs (hehe I did it again). And now Quentin is dead; another great character wasted.

Anyway, that’s all for me about this episode. I hope you enjoyed my ranting and I’ll see you later for episode 2.

#arrow #arrow season 1 #arrow 1x01 #oliver queen #stephen amell #tommy merlyn #thea queen #anti laurel lance #anti merlance #anti lauriver #olicity #felicity smoak #raisa #john diggle #robert queen #moira queen #quentin lance #fandomlife-universe

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jeonsolar · 7 years ago

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Miraculous Ladybug 2x16 Troublemaker *Commentary*

I’ve done this five? times. And some people like it. But I’m doing this simply because I find myself funny. And I need to empty my brain. So, I hope you guys enjoy my brain dump.

Ok. To start off, Thanks so much to @wild-mare-of-prosecution for giving me a link to this episode. Second, The Incredibles was awesome. 😊

Disney in Spanish? FB page is Russian? Episode in English? Wow, so multicultural.

21 minutes and two of those will be intro and credits? Sigh.

Who’s the villain again? Cuz this white dude seems like every villain in every movie ever.

Why is the mayor supervising the hotel? See? This is why the city is crumbling!

I don’t pity her because she signed up for that job. EVERYONE knows that’s how shity it is.

How French with all the kissing and lack of personal space.

Yo. Those posters make Jagged look more Jagged. That black shirt thing makes him look hot. Stop it with the 80’s clothes. Go simple and awesome.

I wish I had subtitles.

This show is about finding wives, right?

Fill my shoes?! What? That’s an entirely different show, and a bad name.

Only because he likes his adopted niece, Marinette. Also, those lace gloves are. . . (doesn’t want to say but can’t help it) delicately feminine.

I agree Sabine. I agree.

Every homemade show like this that has real like people, they always look and sound completely out of their element. That’s how you know they’re not actors. Also, Marinette, stop being such a fangirl.

She uses the same stress reliever I do. It’s pretty annoying during exams. It annoys even me. But it also calms me down.

When. . . when did he make … the guitar? And … how? He . . . sucks … at … baking….

There’s signal.

Also, I know Asian people can be smaller than average, but this is a joke.

Holy FUCK! I thought they were going to put on Careless Whisper for a second there!!!!

Sabine knows, Penny does the same shit as Marinette.

Who is Adrien excited to see? Jagged, or the croissants?

MARINETTE? NOOO. No way. Adrien -Just a friend- Agreste, did not just say that…

*sings* Juuuustt aaaa . . . . friiiiiieeeeeeennnnddddd!

TOM HAS GREEN EYES? Girls really do go for their fathers.

I paused, and fucking shit, that hair on Tom looks so real -the beard-.

Marinette’s clumsiness deserves an award. That was impressive. Minimal effort too. 9/10

Upstairs and vague? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

… What’s with her screen saver? Did she have her computer recording Adrien while they were playing video games? That background is her room. I know someone else said it, but these are badly recycled screencaps. That could have at least made plain backdrops and they would have been believable.

If Marinette spent as much time finding where HawkMoth is as she does with collecting Adrien, Paris would be safe.

Play “Spot Random Pictures of Nino”, is fun. Which brings the question, they made random pics of Nino and they couldn’t do that with Adrien?

Adrien is dabbing in one of them.

After a throughout analysis of the pictures in Mari’s room I’m making the theory that Snapchat exists in their world and Mari just screenshots and prints Adrien’s feed.

Penny is so uncomfortable …. So am I. I don’t want to press play.

Plagg, you little shit.

Wait, how big is that house?

HOW BIG IS THAT HOUSE, THAT THEY HAVE TO REUSE THE STAIR ANIMATION?

ANOTHER FLOOR?

It would have been hilarious if Jagged had been dressed in the dress he’s holding. “Here I am modeling a Marinette original. Am I better than this model boy? I am a better model, aren’t I?”

R E S P E C T. ‘You heard the lady.” Well done Penny.

At least no one made a comment about her period. Also, is completely fair and about time she fucking put them in their place.

HOW DOES GABRIEL RUN A COMPANY IF HE SPENDS MOST OF HIS TIME WAITING IN THAT ROOM FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN, SO HE CAN DRAMATICALLY OPEN HIS WINDOW AND BE BAD?

Anime background again. Attack on titan?

I hate to admit, but I would have had the same panic attack. Social media is a bitch.

From that angle her hairstyle looked completely different and Mari looked more Asian.

What a strange lighting, it changes her eye color drastically.

“Plus, its too late already. The show’s live.” *marinette panics and looks at the camera* SOMEONE MAKE A GIF OF THAT AND SEND IT TO ME, ASAP! THIS WILL BE ALL I TEXT FROM NOW ON.

Sabine is a tiger mom and I L O V E IT! Also, Tom appears to be slightly intimidated by the tiny tiger mom.

Sabine is the best mom in the world. Tiger mom, kung fu mom. Caring mom. What else? Ultimately the most B A D A S S MOM IN THE WORLD.

Does… all of Paris have that same security system from Gabriel’s mansion? If so, why was Gabriel so confused by Chat knowing that that mansion had a security system?

What are you talking about? It’s perfect. You are already at the scene of the crime.

Adrien… that was lame.

What if Plagg only likes croissants because it reminds him of Tikki cuz she lives there… I’ll leave that one there for you guys.

Chat… You’re lucky you’re cute.

NO WAY HE LANDED LIKE THAT.

Sometimes I forget he does call her Bugaboo, and that’s not a head cannon.

No. I love Bugabo-

…. What if that was Astruc asking the fans to stop calling her Bugaboo?

Huh? My cat senses are tingling!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Why is Ladybug offering Chat Noir a tour of Marinette’s room? Why is Ladybug so uncomfortable of anyone seeing the pictures? Shouldn’t that arouse Adrien’s suspicion?

When teens hide pictures under their bed is because they do a solo bow-chick-a-bow-wow with them. Marinette has hit puberty. I don’t judge.

*Double checks Mari’s ‘porn’ stash* Adrien boxes?

JESUS CHRIST! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PICTURES? AND WHY ARE THEY HIDDEN?

Nope. Concussion.

No way she’s that fast. Is ladybug frozen?

*Careless whispers plays in the background as LB and CN hold hands*Fun fact, I actually sang it as it was happening. I don’t kid when I say these are things I say outloud as I watch them.

This is a cool shot. I like it. The focus thing? I like it.

How does he dream it? Does Adrien also write fanfiction about how it will happen? Is Adrien hidden amongst our fanfiction writers?

Are you kitten me, Chat? You are gonna judge her?

Hahahaha, Like a gun. That’s funny.

What detective movies do they watch?

So they glued her to Ladybug…. And they earrings too? Does that mean Marinette can never take them off now? Wouldn’t it be smart to also do that to Chat?

Penny: “What… what happened? Where’s Jagged?”

Ladybug: “What happened? You fucked up my room, my life, and almost my secret identity! That’s what happened?”

Chat and Penny: O.O

Ladybug: “…. I mean…. You’re always so helpful…~”

How… she… she’s gotta stay. A…. and he gotta go….

Chat: “You’re the girl of my dreams.”

Ladybug: . . . . fuck off *pushes him off the balcony*

Smooth LB, smooth.

He’s British right?

Now that! That sounds like real Paris. I like that background sound.

NILYA!

…. This . . .. this looks a lot like that little joke I wrote a few months back…..

Also, Adrien, your sneaky chat is showing.

Adrien looked mad at Mari interrupting him. Adrien, your chat is showing.

Ok. The animation of their eyebrows was soooo exaggerated that they looked angry when they are supposed to be like …. Concentrated, or confused. Make those eyebrows smaller.

THIS IS INTENSE! ADRIEN IS GETTING SMART . . . AND SASSY!!

JUST A FRIEND MY ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHA 8D I AM SO NOT PANICKING AT ALL!!! HAHAHAHAH -Marinette

Adrien your douche is showing.

Also, Adrien, shut up Chat noir. Adrien doesn’t know she hides them under her bed and sofa.

J U S T A F R I E N D

Mari’s boobs got bigger. Yes. I did notice. And if there is continuation to that I’ll accept it. She is in puberty.

Isn’t… isn’t that a parallel to another scene? It feels similar to the umbrella scene. The angles.

Tikki did us a favor of reminding us that Marinette is getting better at talking to Adrien. Thanks Tikki.

I just now realized the page I’m in is not facebook. But it looks like it.

----

I.... really like this episode. Ok , so here’s the deal. My brother got a microphone. If you guys want I can record these. Truth is, a lot of my commentary gets lost because of typing. I’m fast, but not THAT fast. I could try and do it like cinema sins. And it could help bring back the timestamps. Your call. :)

Thanks for reading.

#ml commentary #ml spoilers #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug and chat noir #marichat #marinette cheng #marinette and tikki #adrien #adrienette #ladrien #adrien x marinette #adrien agreste #chat noir #ladybug and chat noir #adventures of ladybug and chat noir #ladybug #LadyNoir

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solsarin · 4 years ago

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how much alcohol is in smirnoff ice red white and berry

Hello dear friends, thank you for choosing us. In this post on the solsarin site, we will talk about “ how much alcohol is in smirnoff ice red white and berry “. Stay with us. Thank you for your choice.

How much alcohol is in Smirnoff Red White and Berry?

Smirnoff Red, White & Berry is decorated in the season’s patriotic colors. Now available on shelves nationwide, Smirnoff Red, White & Berry has a recommended retail price of

$12.99

for a 750-ml. bottle and contains 30 percent alcohol by volume (ABV).Keeping this in view, is Red White and Berry Smirnoff seasonal?

SMIRNOFF™ Red, White & Berry is decorated in the season’s best colors and captures the All-American spirit. It’s the ultimate party accessory for responsible drinking during patriotic summer occasions and is something we can all agree on this election season.

Likewise, how much alcohol is in Smirnoff Ice?

71: Smirnoff Ice Triple Filtered malt beverage, 5.6% (4% in some locations) ABV. 72: Smirnoff Ice, 5% ABV. In the United States, it is a malt beverage; elsewhere it is vodka-based.

Also to know, is Smirnoff red white and berry good?

United States- Smirnoff Red, White & Berry has the cooling taste of Cherry, Citrus, and Sweet Blue Raspberry flavors all combined for a refreshingly delicious taste of freedom. Perfect chill and mixed in your favorite summer cocktails. 97 reviews with 5 star rating. 12 reviews with 4 star rating.

Is Smirnoff red white and berry vodka?

Smirnoff Red, White & Berry is our go-to #drinkofthesummer. Infused with cherry, citrus, and blue raspberry flavors, this spirit is a crowd pleaser. Smirnoff Red, White & Berry is Kosher Certified and gluten free.

Can a Smirnoff get you drunk?Likewise, Smirnoff Ice also has an alcohol content of just over five percent, with some areas including only four percent alcohol in their bottles. Due to the similar alcohol contents, it’s likely that one could get drunk by drinking the same number of Smirnoff Ice that they would beers.Is there sugar in Smirnoff Flavored Vodka?So the new Smirnoff line has no sugar added to the flavored vodka, but if calories are the concern, there is more savings from its low ABV of 30% alcohol than there is from its low sugar content.Which Smirnoff vodka flavor is the best?“Best Flavored Smirnoff Vodka” Smirnoff Green Apple. (179) USA – Triple distilled for a clean taste. Smirnoff Passion Fruit. (174) Smirnoff Lime Vodka. (78) Smirnoff Peppermint Twist. (58) Smirnoff Sourced Pineapple. (54) Smirnoff Kissed Caramel. (24) Smirnoff Iced Cake. (1) Smirnoff Wild Honey. United States, Honey.What is the biggest bottle of svedka?Svedka Big Bottles 1.5 L+ (8) Liter (1) Standard Size 750 ml (10)How much alcohol is in Smirnoff red white and blue?Now available on shelves nationwide, Smirnoff Red, White & Berry has a recommended retail price of $12.99 for a 750-ml. bottle and contains 30 percent alcohol by volume (ABV).What is malt drink?A malt drink is a fermented drink in which the primary ingredient is the grain, or seed, of the barley plant, which has been allowed to sprout slightly in a traditional way called “malting” before it is processed. A low alcohol level drink brewed in this fashion is technically identical to “non-alcoholic beer”.

How much is a 6 pack of Smirnoff?Smirnoff Ice Prices Type Size Price Smirnoff Ice Raspberry Malt 6 Pack $7.99 Smirnoff Ice Screwdriver Malt 6 Pack $7.99 Walmart Smirnoff Ice Original Malt 6 Pack $7.47Do Smirnoff Flavored vodkas have carbs?*Smirnoff Zero Sugar Infusions Flavor Variants Average Analysis per 1.5oz serving: Calories 72; Carbohydrates 0 G; Fat 0 G; Sugar 0 G.What is red white and blue Smirnoff?Product description. Smirnoff Red, White & Berry has the cooling taste of Cherry, Citrus and Sweet Blue Raspberry flavors all combined for a refreshingly delicious taste of freedom. Perfect as a chilled shot or mixed in your favorite summer cocktails.Is Smirnoff Ice gluten free?Smirnoff vodka. However, watch out for Smirnoff Ice beverages (the kind that comes in six-packs) — they are malt-based and not gluten-free (see my article Gluten-Free Ciders and Beer Alternatives for more information).How many calories are in Smirnoff red white and berry vodka?ABV: 4.5% IBU: 0 CAL: 0 Limited Release Summer – Sorry, this beer is not available right now. Smirnoff Red, White & Berry has the cooling taste of cherry, citrus and sweet blue raspberry flavors all combined for a refreshingly delicious taste of freedom.Do they still make Smirnoff Ice?Smirnoff Ice, the citrus-flavored malt beverage first popularized in the United States in the early 2000s, isn’t the sort of alcoholic beverage people brag about keeping in their fridge. Nor, one would think, should be drinking Smirnoff Ice anymore. And yet, surprisingly, people around the world still do.Will 4.5 alcohol get you drunk?Well that depends on you. If you have not drank very much alcohol before and you plan to drink it all in one night, yes most likely you will get drunk or at least very “buzzed”. Even on 4.5 % alcohol, you will still have plenty enough on hand to become at least mildly intoxicated.Is Mike’s Hard Lemonade a girly drink?Mike’s Hard Lemonade is definitely a girl’s drink. And no, I’ve never had the urge to drink something girly because chick’s drinks taste like crap. That’s dumb. Mikes is far from a girls drink and I see plenty of men drink it.Random Posts

how much alcohol is in budweiser nitro reserve gold

what percent of the world’s water is in the pacific ocean

What kind of alcohol is in Smirnoff Ice Red White and Berry?

Smirnoff Ice Red White

Berry

has a 4.5% ABV. One of the most popular malt beverages in the nation,

Smirnoff Ice

has been a staple of get-togethers and parties since 1999.How much alcohol is in Smirnoff Ice?Malt beverages.

72:

Smirnoff Ice

, 5%

ABV

. In the United States, it is a malt beverage; elsewhere it is vodka-based.Does Red White and Berry have alcohol?With its crisp taste and bubbly finish, Smirnoff Ice

Red White

Berry is

a patriotic

drink

, featuring a blend of tart cherry, citrus overtones and blue

raspberry

flavors, perfect for backyard barbecues and summer parties. Enjoy chilled and

drink

responsibly. Smirnoff Ice

Red White

Berry has

a 4.5% ABV.Is Smirnoff Red White and Blue seasonal?When summer rolls around, though, we get a limited-time flavor fusion called

red

white

, and berry, and it’s already hitting shelves. … The limited-edition flavor blends

blue

raspberry (IMO, one of the most

seasonal

-yet-universal flavors), cherry, and citrus.

How long does Smirnoff Red White and Berry last?You can expect your drink to still be great for at least 3 months after the date on that bottle. Once those 3 months have passed, your

Smirnoff Ice

may still be good. You don’t have to just toss it out. Take that cap off and taste it to see if the quality is still up to par for your needs and preferences.Since the 1990s

During the 1990s, one of Pyotr Smirnov’s descendants started producing Smirnov (Смирновъ) vodka in Russia, claiming to be “The Only Real Smirnov.”[7] After a number of lawsuits, Smirnoff successfully reclaimed its trademark, while in 2006 Diageo concluded a joint venture deal with the Smirnov company.[8]

The Smirnoff company had the naming rights to the Smirnoff Music Centre, a concert amphitheater in Dallas, Texas from 2000-08.[9] It also sponsored the Smirnoff Underbelly, a major venue at the Edinburgh Fringe.

In the late-1990s, Smirnoff introduced a series of new products onto the UK and later the European and North American market, which quickly became popular among young people, especially within the club scene (see “Alcopops“).

There are two different products by the name of Smirnoff Ice: one, sold in France and the United States, is a citrus-flavoured malt beverage (5.0% ABV) with variants in “Original”, and “Triple Black”. The other, sold in Europe (excluding France), Latin America, Australia and Canada, is a premixed vodka drink. It also has variants in “Original” and “Black Ice” (or in some markets, “Triple Black” or “Double Black”), ranging from 4.5% in the UK, to 7% ABV in different markets.

The Smirnoff Ice marketed in the United States contains no vodka, according to the official Smirnoff website.[10] It is more similar to beer than to vodka, primarily because it is brewed. However outside of the US and countries who receive US manufactured vodka it does contain Smirnoff Vodka No. 21.

History of smirnoff

Pyotr Arsenyevitch Smirnov (9 January 1831 – 29 November 1898) founded his vodka distillery in Moscow under the trade name PA Smirnov in 1864, pioneered charcoal filtration in the 1870s, and by 1886 had captured two-thirds of the market in Moscow by virtue of the first use of newspaper advertising while suppressing clerical calls for temperance by generously contributing to the clergy. Russian royalty reportedly regarded Smirnov as a favorite. When Pyotr died, his third son Vladimir succeeded him. The company flourished and produced more than four million cases of vodka per year.

resource: wikipedia

0 notes

stone-man-warrior · 4 years ago

Text

January 17: 2021: 11:52 am:

From Bing Internet Search Results:

“Air Jordan

American Brand

Air Jordan is an American brand of basketball shoes, athletic, casual, and style clothing produced by Nike. It was created for Hall of Fame basketball player and six-time NBA Finals MVP Michael Jordan. The original Air Jordan sneakers were produced exclusively for Michael Jordan in late 1984, and released to the public on April 1, 1985. The shoes were designed for Nike by Peter Moore, Tinker Hatfield, and Bruce Kilgore.“

Ok, professional basketball player invents shoes with air bubbles inside the soul.

The game of basketball was invented by a Canadian.

The Canadian’s take great pride in the fact that the game was invented by one of their countrymen.

The Canadians are all trained terror pirates, by order of the HMS Queen Elizabeth Windsor.

Elizabeth Windsor owns 90% of the land in Canada. Chances are high, the she is the LandLord of most Canadians.

All of the Canadian terror pirates use rectally holstered tanks of nitrous oxide as their primary weapon for pirating under British rule.

My guess is Mr. Jordan, and all of the professional basketball players, learn of the truth about what is explained above.

If so, with that knowledge, by default, comes the knowledge that the Christian religion is a lie, and is a basis only meant to serve the advance of the pirates.

With that knowledge comes the basis on which the Christian terror pirate ship is propelled, with use of captured children, “Jesus” all over the place.

Then, of course, the Christian pedophilia takes on a more clearly viewable darkness, ugly truth, the kind that no one is comfortable speaking of, even with(out) being silenced with physical harm... no one wants to address the Christians who rape the babies.

So, air bubbles in the souls of basketball shoes, when endorsed by a professional, take on new level of understanding potential, if only there were some people willing to watch the baby, not just keep an eye on the baby, watch the baby, always.

There are no such people though.

Do the math on this on your own, and, if you won‘t protect Micheal Jordan after I post this, be prepared to ship a sympathy card to his family when SAG sends the One Hour Martinizer and a extra large size body bag to his house as a result of what all of that means in the real world.

=========================================

12:22 pm:

If you do not find this offensive, there is something seriously wrong with your judgement, or, perhaps are naive, don‘t give a flying fuck, are Jesus... I suppose naive gets a pass, but we need to rebrand “naive” as “dangerously stupid, a threat to themselves and those around them”.

That is a full size crucifix, is not rosary beads.

There is only one use for that.

It’s a mast, waiting for Jesus to (be) found, to nail to the mast, to power the boat, and move the Christian pirate ship forward. Those who are nailed to the mast, are sails in the wind. Those who “Find Jesus”, or “Accept Jesus” are people who have agreed to go around looking for victims. The mast crucifix may or may not be a symbolic gesture, that man has one, it’s looks fully functional to me.

This happened at my home about seven years ago:

Some people came through the woods out the back yard of my home with an 8 year old boy nailed to a crucifix just like that one. The people were armed with staffs, gas, blades... strange looking weaponry.

The boy was dying on the crucifix as the group rushed my back door.

I grabbed my long bow, and ran upstairs, opened the window and sent some arrows into the group. They retreated back over the fence where (they) had carried that crucifix through the woods, at least from the nearby church about a half mile away.

The group came back with a ladder to the window upstairs later on. They were quiet this time. I saw the shadows of them at the window, ran upstairs, and one of them was already in the house, had pried the window open.

I tossed that one back outside, there was another on the ladder, who poked me in the mouth with a sword as I was pushing the ladder away from the house.

The ladder fell, the person on (it) was killed, fell on the sword that I was poked with. It was a woman, about 70 years old on the ladder who poked me with the sword, a neighbor.

I had a nasty wound in my mouth for a long time. “Skin Flap” on the roof of my mouth. It all healed, no signs of any injury since then.

I suspect that boy died. He was nailed with what looked like railroad spikes through his hands and feet. A man by the name of Don Wills and his wife were the leaders among a group of about ten Christian terror pirates who used the shock of seeing someone, a young boy, nailed to (a) cross, as way to weaken me before they killed me.

But I fight back.

I don‘t play fairy tale games with pirates.

===============================

1:08 pm:

This looks personal, directed at my house in retaliation for two people who were injured and/or killed at my front entry way on June 15 last year. One of them is suspected to have been Donald Trump, the other is suspected to have been Juseph Myers of 560 Jackpine. One lost a foot at the shin. the other was ran through with the same sword they brought in after kicking my front door open.

The two left, I shut the door, leaned against it in relief, and to keep the bastards from returning through the door since they had knocked out the jamb when the door was busted through. That is when 6 sheriff deputies came busting in, tackled me, twisted my leg, injured my knee, kneeled on my neck. hand cuffed me, and took me to the jail, where the following day, Lars Ulrich, Paul Reed Smith, John Mayer, and Zakk Wylde came into the jail with swords and rope to kill me inside the jail.

But I fight back. I don‘t play fairy tale games with rock stars at jail, and now all four are presumed dead as a result of that. (I saw someone who looks like Paul Reed Smith at the Walgreen‘s two weeks ago, he may not have died)

Beruse Sparacino was also killed in the jail that day by Zakk Wylde, who had a three blade sword they call a “Trident”.

The “G7 leaders″ = Gnosis Heaven Leaders = That group of dead rock stars, and others like them.

Cornish = My former spouse, who was with the group of rock stars that day at the jail.

Resort = My house

June Summit = Revenge

The BBC news selection of Johnson’s photo w/hand gesture seems to have double meaning, that means there are three ways to read the photo.

1 = Big Boobs = Federal Officers

2 = Rise up

3 = Make like a brazier, lift & separate = divide & conquer

=====

1:34 pm:

In conclusion assessment of the BBC Tweet, it seems appearant the recent pressure placed on Britain from this account has caused much heartache, loss of income, pressure from neighboring European countries on Britain, slowed the pirating, spoiled Brexit completely, and more, including massive devaluation of the Pound Sterling.

not bad for an old disabled guy with a hijacked internet connection, no help, and held captive in is house by surrounding Vatican terror pirates for the past ten years.

Plan: Maintain pressure on Britain, focus on I O Downing, find all of the House of Lords members and apply pressure there. Seek out the “Unicorns” such as Amazon, Tesla, Lyft, Uber, Google...

Google needs more creative means of pressure, it must be taken into custody of “The Free People of the World” and maintained.

Destroy Twitter.

That will do for the time being.

Request assistance from European nations who are the fodder of the Brexit Offensive.

Encourage the Scot’s and Irish to retaliate against Corona Virus bullshit.

USA Congressional pressure and exposure of the faslehood of their positions at House and Senate is necessary on a grandly embarrassing scale, of organized pedophilia beyond “Pizza Gate” and into the realm of millions of captive children held as sex slaves, then trained as terror soldiers.

Pressure on all fifty US Governor shills to resign.

Find and account for each and every Boeing airplane made since 1997. Search, inspect, look for stowing capability beyond the overhead compartment, and down into the area beneath the floors of the cabins.... all over and under, and inside every inch of every airplane. Use caution. Be prepared for Mustard Gas.

Pressure news media in creative ways.

Pressure SAG Card Holders of all kinds.

Body search every one of them, special attention to Musicians.

Bring Ian Anderson to my house.

Take all of the Virgin Atlantic Holdings into custody, inspect, change name to:

“Old Maid Holdings”

Close all Walmart’s permanently.

Acquire Kroger Foods, break-up into parts, auction parts to free people.

It gets complicated after that.

Have to find a way to reduce US “Departments” to much smaller, more manageable size, easy to regulate and monitor, no more duplicate departments. The right hand must always know what the left hand is doing, and vice-verse.

Massive global public education campaign to tell of the Christian lie, by telling the truth:

Christianity started 2021 years ago, when some asshole by the name of Marcus wanted to sleep with this other guys Ol’ Lady, Jesus’ Ol’ Lady. We don‘t even know her name, and Marcus turned her into a Whore, and lies were told, to get more men to come to sleep the with Whore, so that other Christian Pirates could Rush them in the hay stack, where they were having sex, to kill the men. We only know that she became “The Russian Mother of all Hoaxes”.

They stole time, to control time better, by putting two extra months on the calendar, which used to be ten months, about 36 days in each month.

They changed all of that, and put the extra months on the wrong end of the calendar year... should have been put at the beginning of time, not the end of time if they wanted the equinox to count, and make spring a thing for planting, and autumn a colorful special time of year for harvesting.

Since that time, they have told the lie, about Jesus and God. The truth is that Jesus is you, and me, and we are to be used up, used all up in every way, in order to get control of the world, they lure us to church to lie to us about Jesus, and they feed us little tiny clues about the truth, that Jesus is a sail catching wind to move the Christian pirated ship forward, by collecting all of the Jesus’, and nailing them to the mast of the ship, to move the boat forward, while using the Jesus’ as bait, to catch more Jesus’. We learn the truth on our own, with the clues they feed us. Then, once we know, and are soooo scared, that is when they give us one chance, to “Accept Jesus”, and continue to help to move the Christian pirate ship forward, by “Finding Jesus” where every we are able to see a victim who is ripe to become a sail on a pirate ship, to move the boat forward. And that is why there is a “God”, in order to provide that there is an all powerful being that will kill you, unless you accept Jesus’, to go find more Jesus’, with the “Fear of God” in your own, personal sail, to move your own personal boat forward, while searching for more Jesus’. Each pirate family is expected to capture and keep at least one “Person Jesus” for training as a disposable terror soldier, to do the dangerous pirate work, so that none of the pirate family boats will suffer a personal loss, it’s only Jesus who is killed, or hurt, so, the mother ship can stay afloat better, when the crew is in good spirits, and no family members are hurt or killed while the Christian Pirates are searching for Land, Riches, Slaves, and Power... the treasures of the world.

That is the kind of campaign that is necessary to educate the free people who remain free, so that do not become a sail on a pirate ship.

Personal Jesus is a slave child in training as a disposable terror soldier, for those hard to reach places.

The Pope’s flying V guitar rig is a two channel, 100 watt, tube driven amplifier. It’s cuts through stacks of Marshall’s, leaves them as chum for catching more Jesus’.

Clean Channel:

(summer)

youtube

Dirty, high gain channel:

Personal Jesus:

(winter)

youtube

{1-18-2021: 11:22 am: Don‘t pass judgement on the man by the name of Marilyn Manson until you have seen an interview or two, then, as I did, you may come away smarter than you were before you watched the interview, and, as I did, you may also see that Donald Trump, Joe Biden, or any of the candidates could never survive a debate against Marilyn Manson. Maybe Barack Obama could give Mr. Manson some competition at a presidential debate, maybe)

There are two more additional channels, Crunch, and duplicate Clean, for dialing in custom cleanliness with two faces, Comedy and Tragedy on prime time TV, are optional. Are the “Equinox” additions to the calendar, for planting on a Spring day, and harvesting when it’s nice and colorful outside in Autumn (fall).

Clean.

Duplicate Clean.

Crunch.

High Gain.

Tons of effects for custom tailoring are available.

=====================================

3:12 pm:

I am going go ahead and say that the person who is seemingly named Marilyn Manson, is a victim of Christian Slave upbringing, and is trying to get some attention to the ideas expressed here on this tumblr post.

======================================

3:21 pm:

Skip a head to the 1:25 minute mark here, but do study this whole short video as a Christian Cult Ceremonial Event:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygXKUkutGEo&t=85s

youtube

Speculation is dark, and is complicated to fully explain. There are more complete explanations of Christian goals of surgically alterred slave population, ergonomically designed humans, for moving the pirate ship forward on this account elsewhere, is extremely dangerous knowledge to posses, use caution when sharing information about “Partners”, “Companions”, “Side-Kicks”.

The speculation is that the gavel was presented to Ms. Pelosi as a test. I speculate that she had ordered a custom made, surgical altered slave being, a US Citizen Kidnapped Victim at some point about five years prior to recieving the gavel. The “test” is her public reaction to the gavel, knowing that it represents a notice that “Her partner is ready for pick-up”. So, the idea for the test, is for all involved to feel confident that she is ready to really accept a human surgically altered slave child. Her reaction to the gavel as the reality sets in at a public event, will be what is used for a decision by the “Choir Masters” for a go ahead, or a refusal to deliver based on how she reacts in public to the gavel a symbolic slave child, surgically altered, personal Jesus.

Only is speculation.

The existence of the surgically altered custom ordered slave victims is not speculation. Is fact. Is dangerous to know about. Be careful.

There is a custom human order sheet, I have seen them. Anything from specific arm and leg amputation length, to replacement of hands and feet, and in which particular direction, frontwards, backwards, left on right, right on left hands and feet, can be ordered, as well as optional equipment. I have seen a “partner” who was completely surgically covered in breasts... about 72 of them is my guess, large and small.

Hands attached at the shoulder are called “flippers”, and are specified on a Partner ordering sheet.

The purpose for the existence of “Partners”, is for experimental considerations.

Government officials, movie and TV stars, producers, musicians, SAG... are offered a chance to order a human configured the way they want it, it takes many years for delivery of the finished product.

That way, the surgeons who do the forced surgeries, are able to experiment, to see what works, and what does not work. The rock stars and movie stars can get very creative with a human Partner order sheet, and the surgeons are challenged that way, to come up with ways that a human can be altered as is necessary or desired, in effort to prepare the surgeon’s knowledge, and advance the skills, and provide necessary technology as demands for special circumstance are encountered on the order sheets.

I speculate that Ms. Pelosi was granted acceptance, barely, of her Partner.

She would need to show to the “Choir Masters” that she is equipped with a suitable place for her partner to reside, and a plan to hide the Partner in emergency, with extreme concealment methods.

You won‘t learn this kind of real terrorism from news media, they are the people who supply the raw materials for “Partner Production“.

Some things to consider for doing your own research:

Look around where you are at the people in your town, at the Walmart for instance. Make some assessments of the people’s body shapes. The SDA terror soldiers use fruit and vegetables to say a body shape:

Pear shape

Apple shape

Carrot shape

String Bean shape people.

There are “Specimens” discussions.

A very strong and healthy male is often a “V” shape.

Such as US Military are, or were.

The Partner surgeries are so brutal, that only the strongest, most healthy individuals are able to live through them.

So, when making your “people of Walmart” assessment, ask yourself, the same as the Christian terror pirates do, “Are there any V shapes here?”. Then decide, are there?

Lots of apples, pears, some carrots, string beans... I don’t see anymore V shape at my local Walmart any more.

now you understand.

Only the healthiest, strongest are going to survive the experimental surgeries.

At Oregon Health Science University in Portland Oregon, there is a “Dornbecker Children’s Hospital”, a “Shriner’s Hospital”, and a “Veterans Administration Hospital”.

nine floors beneath the VA Hospital, are healing experimental surgical US Military.... been there healing one after the other for more than twenty years.

There is no one watching the baby.

The baby is on fire.

The same conditions are suspected nation wide.

Loma Linda Hospital University may be a place where the surgeons are trained. Please be careful when going to speak with Dr. Wolf Kirsch there. He is a Brain and Spinal surgeon, said to be second best in the world, only outdone by a colleague in New York somewhere, as of 1995 or so, as the story is told.

And that is what happened to many of the US Military and national guard service men and women.

V shape is a specimen grade. High grade.

You can find many references to V Shaped Recovery on Twitter, where this news is common knowledge. The only ones who do not know these kinds of truths is the US national security fools, who insist on being fooled all of the time and refuse to do their own research, while allowing that the Christian terror pirates do the research for them. In this way, the US Security personnel, are weaponized against the people they are sworn to protect from terrorists.

There is no more US national guard. They were all killed more than twenty years ago on the entire west coast of USA. Some may be in Hollywood, in a basement, as a partner for a rock star somewhere, or, I am certain there are partners at the White House. There has to be to fulfill Trinity rules.

“Welcome to Jamaica, Have a nice day”

===============================

4:10 pm

If I were President of USA, I could stop 90% of all of the terrorism on earth permanently, while restoring freedom, strengthening families, and small business, and I would find a way to provide real, quality health care, and education for the citizens.

The problems I would face are two major ones. The news media and entertainment industry are one big fucking problem.

The other problem, is that I would have absolutely no military to protect USA.

The government would be all rearranged, somehow differently, much smaller. There would be some argument about some things I would try to accomplish, such as making the electric power a national system, not a private system, power would be subsidized with some kind of way to provide free power up to some limitations, and then, you could pay for extra if you need it.

There would be argument about elimination and outlaw of Blue Tooth technology.

There would be cellular phones that work to reach the people you need to reach, privately.

911 Emergency Phone would be taken out to sea, and dropped overboard, in favor of more diverse ways of reaching some help.

I could see where something like this tumblr social media could be expanded, made to actually work, and used also as a emergency report portal. It’s not like terrorists would spam the place if it was truly secure and get away with it.

Money. It needs to be truly defined. The money is only as good, as the place that issues it is strong and productive. I see the money does seem to be worth much as it stands, and the transactions are in astronomical figures from WH news about spending. Some there would be some kind of measure that works better, based on manufacture, and productivity of the nation as unit. I see news where the fast food workers are wanting to form a union and are demanding $15 hourly. I am sorry, but that is not going to fly. Fast Food is not a career choice. It’s a place to learn how to be productive, then move on.

I would encourage diesel power, discourage electric power personal transportation.

There would be some kind of form to fill out to come to USA, something better than a wall on one side and wide open on the other has to be done.

The way USA is positioned among itself, is a situation that is a result of more than fifty years of organized division tactics, all of them successful. The states are too divided, they need some glue. A more united, United States is something that needs to happen, is complex, many invisible problems exist, nothing can be done until all is seen more clearly.

Make Twitter go away. That is the very first step to solving the worlds problems.

There would be a effort to encourage engineering as a career choice, some school refocusing away from “Ivy League” and towards a mechanical, structural, tangible student body, more doctors, more smart people. USA is purposefully producing stupid people, actually are victims of the Christian/Britain “British Still” education tactics. It’s not like the people are choosing to be less than what they are capable of, it’s that they are not encouraged to believe they are capable. So, I recommend big changes in education, lots of access, lots of encouragement to be what you and who you want to be, when you want to be it.

That Marylin Manson video shows the outcome of British Still education. The whole Transgender subject is another way of saying “British Still”, there is very little information available anywhere to learn about what the British Still is. Look at a video by XTC here:

youtube

The Nigel’s are being educated with upside down and reversed backwards education. They are the children of murdered US Citizens, and from other places around the world.

Seriously, from a young age, the children are taught that “up” is “down“. “yes” means “no”, airplanes are boats. The ocean is a lake, and other dangerous learning, where in an emergency, a question like “do you need help?” is answered with “no”. But that person is a slave, needs help.

“Please Drop the Gun!“

“no” Ivanka reaches to put the gun down. Gets shot.

British Still.

It’s beyond what I can effectively explain.

For considering the XTC video, be open minded, place Ivanka Trump in the Nigel position at age 5, and keep educating her with specially designed learning, complex beyond comprehension learning, then, when she’s fully cooked, turn Ivanka loose. Point her towards Washington DC, and offer lots of support services for her and her handlers. Do that with ten thousand maniacs.

You can see that problems can occur such that reasoning is out the window for understanding what is happening. It’s as if the people are speaking Mandarin English, and you only speak English, it works enough to pass through while saying hello, and some pleasantries about the weather, and that’s the extent of the conversation possibilities. Ivanka Nigel would need to move on after passing by an English only speaking person, with some pleasantries as she goes by, so no one will notice that the language and behavior are custom tailored with a British Still. The handlers help to get her into the desired positions for reaching specific goals.

Two Ivanka Nigel’s can have a personal conversation in a public place about mass murder and all that will be overheard is talk of large pop-corn w/buttery sauce and a movie size ju-ju bee’s.

I don‘t understand it, I know that the “Partners” are educated bassackwards. Up is down, yes is no... and more.

See that the XTC video was filmed in 1979, and there are Three Dee computer augmenting glasses in the video.

Practical use of a Nigel when performed by global pirates with experience and a proven success rate and tactics, goes like this:

Ivanka is disposable. Many Ivanka’s were trained, there is an endless supply of Ivanka’s.

Terror army needs to get inside of the Kremlin. They stage Ivanka out front, arrange a Universal Studios style demonstration is happening, down the street a mile or two. Ivanka is not on camera, they are all down the street. She is out front of the Kremlin, told to pull out a gun, is fooled by her handlers, speaks backwards, and is there, The door opens, and the shot is fired by Kremlin security, and in all of the confusion there is enough nitrous oxide coming down wind from the demonstration that the Kremlin security makes some mistakes. The door is open, and the terrorists can go inside in the confusion and gas fog. Maybe it does nor (not) work the first time, so, they perfect their ways, maybe vehicles are used in some way on the next try, but Ivanka Nigel is a backwards speaking person who is set up to fall, in order to get inside one way or another way. She is disposable, a Christian Sacrificial Lamb. There are thousands more in the Still being cooked and prepared for the next course of the meal, where the food is the goal. They are pirates. The ones who do the teaching of the Ivanka’s are not like regular people.

SAG does variations of that same basic idea, “Save the Princess” would be “Hot Chick With a Puppy”. Could be Ivanka is the offender, or, is the Princess, either way, the gun is the Puppy, and on more important goals, a sacrifice is present to take the fall, make giant distraction long enough to reach the goal, in a fog of invisible nitrous gas.

Addition of Medazolam (Versed) gas to the nitrous makes unavailable unbelievable circumstance. A situation of Perfect Storm is present with that mixture, The Versed prevents any one nearby from remembering what they saw at an event, even the offenders are not able to remember that they killed anyone. If they are caught and questioned, it’s not possible for those people to say details of what happened.

The name of the drug is suspicious. “Versed” has a “Vatican Choir Texture” to it, and the generic Medazolam, has a built in sacrificial “lam”. Research of it’s origin is warranted.

The use for Medazolam, will be explained by a surgeon or anesthesiologist as:

“Sometimes, we need to wake the patient during the midst of the surgical procedure to ask them if they are able to move their limbs, so that we know that the connections at the nerves are correct. We really don‘t want for the patient to suffer of nightmares associated with having been awakened during the procedure, so, we take the precaution and go ahead and administer a moderate dose of Medazolam to prevent unpleasant dreams post surgery”

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7:17 pm:

This post started in a tumblr text box just like the one shown below:

7:27 pm:

Tumblr is presenting me with two different kinds of text box to write in, that one above is very difficult to obtain, takes special skills and determination to get a text box like that one above.

This one below with colorful icons, on the other hand, is very simple to get. I can write in a text box like the one below from many ways of different places within Tumblr where the one below is available, is cheap, is easy, like a Russian Whore, they are everywhere, you cannot get away from them, but that one above is almost impossible to get. This post with the Air Jordan at the top part, and the Medazolam Bullshit Ivanka Russian British Still Whore Princess at the bottom is somehow being throttled, made very difficult to obtain, is almost Unobtainium and is the kind I started with on this post, which will not recreate by copy & paste to try to make assessment of why there are two kinds of text box experiment.

I tried to recreate this post in the colorful kind of text box just now, and found that it is not possible to copy and paste the contents from this tumblr entry into a text box with colorful icons.

I did not try that in the reverse though, I need to start a post in the colorful kind of text box, and see if it will copy and paste into a text box that has only the gray color icons and fewer control features later on.

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9:36 pm:

Let’s go back to applying pressure, where to apply it, and what brand of pressure to put on Joe Biden.

Ok, here’s the scoop:

You could go with Time Warp Terror, pressure Biden and Harris both about time and a lot space between the time. Any way to emphasis that it’s no longer a secret that Beta Twitter included the entire Democrat debates with all of the players, all of the exact same footage presented in 2008 and was filmed way before that.

Harris, Warren, Sanders, O’Rourke, Bloomberg and all of the others too.

Pressure Biden about Mike Bloomberg is Ronnie James Dio, because Ronnie James Dio portrayed Micheal Bloomberg for the phony debates.

Also, Kamala Harris’s daughter may have been the “Homeliest Walmart Terror Representative” that I was saying was in the men’s underwear department doing the Dickie’s Longjohn Shuffle, but I am not certain, it could have been Harrison Ford’s daughter, and I misunderstood was I was told about how she introduced herself there at the Fruit of the Loom’s department. So, the information I have is that at the Walmart the other day, either Kamala Harris’ Daughter or Harrison Ford’s Daughter was at the Walmart to kill me.

But there is more. The gal at the banana department said she was Lars Ulrich’s Daughter, as you may recall, he was killed in defense at the Josephine County Jail on June 16, 2020 along with John Mayer, Zakk Wylde, and perhaps Paul Reed Smith who it turns out maybe was only injured, healed, and then came back to take another wack at me at the Walgreen’s last two weeks ago or so. If it could be shown that Kamala Harris’ Daughter was the one in the Fruit of the Looms Department, then, we could really do some Chinese Laundry the American way, where the Chinese people are happy to do the laundry as long as they get paid for the work they do at the Chinese Laundry, It’s all One Hour Martinizing now, and that simply is not working.

Either way about Ms. Harris’ Daughter, the big ammunition is with the Time Warp Terror Pressure Campaign, and some sugar on that with Mike Bloomberg and Ronnie James Dio are the same guy, and that is FM at the Inauguration live broadcast presentation on major network TV news programs, and the Syndicated ones too.

That banana girl got hurt real bad as I recall when either a sword, or an arrow came through he [the] produce department there nearby where the Honey Dew Mellons are at, at the Walmart that day, so the pressure is that if Ms. Harris’ Daughter was the Fruit of the Loom girl, then that means she was like, a plan B, for trying to kill me there, and was working along with Lars Ulrich’s Daughter.

Maybe some autographed Bongo’s, from Jamaica, says Babaloo on them, and a signature on there from some special drummer, maybe Phil Collins would sign some Jamaican Bongo’s, Cuban one’s would be even better for live TV. Make them “Extra Lars Size” with a camel painted on them, and a small gift from Nepal Gift shop as “Welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day” Presidential gift, and a lollipop.

Pressure does not have to be expensive.

The pressure would not be complete without something for Boris Johnson, or, House of Lords members, or all of them. I am thinking about a replica of the Queen’s Hat, she is dead you know, to start with. A autographed picture from Mitt Romney could go a long way. Maybe some Khashoggies printed like Euro’s could help... $3 ones... if those were signed by some European leaders, that is some magic that will surely save the nhs, from themselves.

Modi needs some pressure too, don’t forget about the Indians. Some Cheeseburgers, lots of Cheeseburgers to India, and a compass.

I think it would appropriate to supply some commemorative sympathy cards for the Republican Congress. Outgoing sympathy of some kind, and also for the department heads, Ben Carson, Alex Azar, Elaine Chao...all of the usual suspects could use some extra sympathy as their leader steps away from the alter. I am thinking in terms of a Where’s Waldo theme... something fun that everyone can enjoy.

We should pay close attention to who went to Obrador’s inauguration in Mexico, and compare which of them attends the Biden inauguration, I think that is interesting statistical information, could be useful.

Maybe Justin Trudeau will attend, who knows? Anything could happen.

One thing is for sure, the Bergoglio cannot be there, he was killed at the Grants Pass Walmart when he walked into a giant guillotine at the front entrance there last month. He is part of a terror cell called “The Green’s of Old Three Ply”. The name comes from Gibson Guitars, the old style pick guards are made of three ply plastic. For real... “Green‘s of Old Three Ply” is Vatican Choir top high command terror Christian pirate captain level. Top level Green Jello terror cell.

They use this Aerosmith song as a theme song:

You have to change the lyrics to this for Gnosis Rules:

“♫♪ Green‘s of old three ply ♫♪”

youtube

(my account is hijacked again)

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1-18-2021: 1:05 am:

Local Update:

A walk to the mail boxes was cold.

It’s 31 degrees, and is very dark out there.

There was nothing in the mailbox again.

I have received very little mail this month, I can only recall one piece of advertising mail for a automotive warranty protection program insurance this month in the mail so far. There has been none of the usual mail in the USPS mailbox with my address on it. Usually, there is a typical mail sort of formula that is used by the mail carriers of “The Stork” terror cell. I am not a terror soldier, so I only know what is considered normal, and what is not normal, but there is more to the mail than that. normal is three pieces of mail, two letter size, and one larger 5 x 7 ish that makes it so you have to fold that one piece of mail to put it in your pocket, otherwise those letter size fit in a pocket. I am sure that plan is to make it such that I will not put the mail in my pocket, but instead will hold the mail in my hand, and in that way, my hands are not free to defend myself on the walk back to the house. The terror bastards really do get that detailed. I always fold that odd piece of mail while at the mail box, to put all of it in my pocket to keep my hands free for the sword fight on the way back to the house. Even if i get magazine size thing, or phone book, that goes in the pants to keep my hands free for defending, There is no other way to survive a walk to the mailbox on Jackpine Drive. So, three pieces, in a two + one arrangement is typical. Wednesdays used to be coupon mailer days, but that is hit or miss of late, inconsistent Wednesday mail. There is a newsprint advertising mailer called “Sneak Peak”, is bad news in every way. It’s extension of the Grants Pass Chamber of Commerce, where all of the advertisers local terror cells who belong to the Chamber of Commerce, and to Club Northwest Gym. Merchant Mailer I think is the name of another newsprint style multi-fold advertising mailer. I used to use them to get (the) wood stove burning, back in the day when i could stay outside long enough to cut some firewood without being shot at by the neighbors. The Sneak Peak’s usually arrive once per month, maybe the Merchant Mailer is a quarterly, it does not arrive every month, is hit or miss, seems inconsistent.

I have a implanted microphone transmitter in my jaw, I can’t turn it off, it’s been broadcasting every sound my body makes since 2011, so, if I say the words “Sneak Peak” while at the mailbox when I get one of those, it’s really bad for me, the terror bastards record every word I say over at the Offensive Monroe Surveillance Travel Trailer, so, I have to refrain from mumbling out loud about everything. It all gets used for fooling federal fools who insist on being fooled all of the time, and refuse to do their own research, by trusting the local authorities, who are all terror soldiers, and are fooling the federal fools, all of the time. The recordings of my voice talking to my cat have been entertaining the federal fools for about ten years. They listen to my coughing fits from the poison gasses, and are told I have COVID 19, and the fools believe everything they are told, as they are watching reruns of The Golden Girls on the syndicated channels.

Other than that, the noisy water well pump at Monroe’s turned on as I passed by that camera that is pointing at my driveway, as it has been doing when I step over that way for about two years. They usually hide the camera, but now it’s sitting on top of the log about five feet away from the fence, and can only see my driveway. They have a pond there that could be nice to look at on camera, but they choose to be Offensive terror bastards instead.

Earlier short walks outside were such that I did not feel it was safe to go to the mailbox, the Monroe’s were using a series of bright lights turning on and off to signal other terror soldier who was hiding in the pole barn, either launched away of nitrous ignition, or it was a gunshot spark that I saw there at about a little after dark. I did not hear any noise, just saw a quick flash after those other bright signaling electric lights in a chicken coup were used to signal that other terror bastard, that I was on a walk outside, and in range.

They read every word I write, so the challenge is that they make the situation so confusing that it cannot be described in a satisfactory way necessary to express the exact kind of threatening activity. Ten different kinds of electric lights, all inside of chicken coups, pole barn, shed, trailer, other stuff all flashing on and off as I take a walk to get my mail, and then there is a gunshot of light also in the mix sometimes, and/or nitrous gas ignition, as i am being poisoned and primed for some other asshole to run me over on a shark maneuver at the mailbox. It’s been some time since there was a shark maneuver, about one week, when Wesely Crowel swerved towards me to run me down at the culvert railing. he and the mail carrier were working with, Chartrands, a Bekins moving truck, Sparacino’s and Monroe’s that day, with Safari terror and African Lions on the loose.

But that’s just a Monday, could happen on a Wednesday, it’s all the same, for twenty years and no one will send any help.

Train came by at 12:03 am. Federal fools will be told I mentioned that for selling some cocaine.

There were no airplane flyovers today to my recollection.

That’s all. Dark and cold with strange mail conditions.

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perfectirishgifts · 4 years ago

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A Conflicted Land Produces Consistently High-Quality Wine

New Post has been published on https://perfectirishgifts.com/a-conflicted-land-produces-consistently-high-quality-wine-2/

A Conflicted Land Produces Consistently High-Quality Wine

Santa Lucia Highlands is “America’s Salad Bowl”

Nestled between Northern California’s Santa Lucia Mountain Range and coastal Big Sur sits a conflicted land. The warm Pacific sun and maritime climate ushers abundance into the quiet farming community. Yet, each afternoon merciless winds driven by the powerful ocean, disrupt the landscape’s serenity. This is the Santa Lucia Highlands.

Native son John Steinbeck pinned in a 1933 letter to George Albee, “I think I would like to write the story of this whole valley, of all the little towns and all the farms and the ranches in the wilder hills. I can see how I would like to do it so that it would be the valley of the world.”

Although the region has yet to achieve “valley of the world” status, it’s abundant agricultural production dating back to the 1800’s earned it the name: “America’s Salad Bowl.”

In Santa Lucia Highlands, vineyards dot the undulating benchlands and mesas, rising above the … [] surrounding arroyos like fingers.

Today, vineyards join small family agricultural farms in this untamed coastal region, with many families engaged in both enterprises. Adam Lee, owner and winemaker of Clarice Wine Company, sees topographical similarities between the highlands and Burgundy. And yet, it is the highland’s topography that prevents its commercial growth. Vineyards dot the undulating bench lands and mesas, rising above the surrounding arroyos like fingers.

Earning American Viticulture Appellation status in 1991, this small region of 50 individually owned vineyards, comprising 5.900 acres, is heralded for Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, and Syrah. “Santa Lucia Highlands is underrated. It is not as much a wine community as it is a farming community, and I like this aspect of it,” shares Lee.

Talbott Vineyards opened a tasting room earlier this year in Carmel-By-The-Sea. Make a reservation … [] to enjoy a flight of their Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, or a mix of both.

Adding to the region’s conflict is the fact there are limited wine tasting venues and accommodations. “What I love about the region is almost it’s Achilles heel,” explains Kerith Overstreet, owner and winemaker of Bruliam Wines. “It’s lack of hospitality makes it an authentic ag/grape-growing region.”

In an effort to reach visiting consumers, some wineries have opened tasting rooms in neighboring Monterey and Carmel-By-The-Sea. While this solution offers access to tasting the wines, the beauty of Santa Lucia Highlands remains inaccessible for many consumers in a first-hand experience.

Overstreet was attracted to the region many years ago through a bottle of Miner Family Wines Gary’s Vineyard Pinot Noir. Upon tasting she exclaimed, “This is delicious. I love this!” Four year’s later, when deciding to make her first barrel of wine, based on the bottle of Miner, she made Pinot Noir from the Santa Lucia Highlands. “The Pinot stole my heart and I’ve been with it ever since.”

Sunset over the Pacific Ocean seen from the Nacimiento-Fergusson road through the Santa Lucia Range … [] in California

The conflict between nurturing sun and wrathful wind add distinction to the highland’s wines. In this coastal region, the winds, driven by the icy cold Monterey Bay, start ramping up between 1:30 – 2:00 pm each afternoon.

Steve McIntyre, owner and winemaker of McIntyre Vineyards believes the wind is key because it pulls in cool maritime air, drying out the area and modulating high temperatures. “Wind, fog and temperature are our terroir,” he explains. “I have never been to a wine region where the warmest time of the day is at one o’clock in the afternoon,” laughs Lee.

Furthermore, afternoon winds regulate the grape’s sugar accumulation while also maximizing hang time, allowing the natural acidity to reach its full potential. “Santa Lucia Highlands creates intellectual wines. The Pinot Noir is savory, plush, and layered, with broad shoulders,” explains Overstreet.

As the former owner and winemaker of Siduri Vineyards, Adam Lee has crafted Pinot Noir from vineyards up and down the west coast. After selling Siduri, Lee could have chosen any region to launch his next chapter. He chose Santa Lucia Highlands.

Consistency and value are two reasons Lee believes the highlands should be on consumer’s radar. It is not as well known as Sonoma’s Russian River Valley or Santa Barbara’s Santa Rita Hills, both cool climate region—Santa Lucia Highlands is a hidden gem.

The true secret weapon of the highlands, and why Lee chose it for his next project, is the people. Lee’s multi-decade relationship with Gary Pisoni, and his son Mark, who manages the vineyards, and Gary Franscioni, and their Gary’s Vineyard and Rosella’s Vineyard, respectively, is a “friendship built on trust. I have great faith in what they area doing.”

Santa Lucia Highlands is best known for its high-quality Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, and Syrah.

2017 Bruliam Soberanes Vineyard Pinot Noir ($55) demonstrates thoughtful complexity. Opening with dark berries, Rooibos chia tea, Luxardo syrup, and dried savory herbs. The palate is lean and focused – smooth with depth, elegance, and lively acidity.

2017 Cattleya Wines ‘The Initiation’ Syrah is a brooding wine with a nod to Northern Rhone. Notes of dark fruit, cassis, cured bacon, smoke, olive tapenade and crushed violets make the mouth water, while each sip fulfills the expectation of a bold, rich wine with a crushed velvet mouth-feel and a long, voluptuous finish.

2018 Clarice Wine Company Rosella’s Vineyard Pinot Noir ($85) opens with ample dark fruit, warm baking spice, and crushed roses, with elements of forest floor and a hint of venison jerky. Balance is the key here – structure, tannins, complexity, and acidity. Smooth yet bold, lively yet restrained, depth yet lifted. Pleasing all around.

2016 Hahn SLH ‘Orchestral’ Pinot Noir ($90) delivers tart red fruit, holiday potpourri, pomegranate tea, and damp underbrush dazzle the senses. The palate is vibrant, layered, complex, and structured with a long finish.

2018 Lucia Vineyards Soberanes Chardonnay opens with a bounty of fruit leaping from the glass, quickly joined by preserved oranges, toasted graham cracker, and warm spices. Tension exists on the palate between its richness and crushed stone minerality. A complex and elegant wine that delivers across the board.

2017 McIntyre Estate Vineyard Pinot Noir ($48) is sustainably farmed and made in a low-intervention style. It opens with fresh blue and red fruit, baking spice, white tea, and violets. Taffeta mouth-feel with balanced acidity and a long, elegant finish.

2017 Miner Family Wines Gary’s Vineyard Pinot Noir represents the bolder side of the region. Dark berries, holiday spice box, dried black tea take the lead. The palate offers a crushed velvet mouth-feel with a rich, long finish.

2019 Morgan Double L Vineyard Riesling ($24) is crafted in a German Kabinett style. Citrus, melon, stone fruit and honey suckle leap from the glass. The palate offers a kiss of sweetness with a balanced, dry finish.

2018 Roar Rosella’s Vineyard Pinot Noir ($62) quintessential highland’s Pinot Noir in that it walks a line between light and fruity juxtaposed with deep and earthy. Layers of complexity create a thought-provoking wine.

2017 Scheid Vineyards Reserve Escolle Road Vineyard Chardonnay ($45) offers tension between freshness and creamy elegance. Orchard fruit and floral notes lift off the palate while restrained oak treatment and lees stirring adds depth and texture.

2017 Talbott Vineyard Sleepy Hollow Chardonnay ($42) offers layers of orchard and stone fruit, white flowers, and butterscotch in a creamy, texture with a mid-palate mineral-driven lift and long finish.

2017 Wrath KW Ranch Syrah ($39) is bold, rich, powerful. Dark fruit, smoked charcuterie, worn leather and black pepper envelope the senses. Texturally smooth and elegant with a long finish.

From Food & Drink in Perfectirishgifts

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