#also im still cringe as fuck

[viscerasmoothie]

its that anon- sorry for the confusion 😭 i also have audhd so i get it. its fine its not really private. my user is/was FazbearFright_Lover if that makes any difference? but yeah i hope you’re doing good

WAIT HUH

I don't even know what to say LMAO my brain is exploding

I expected someone whos username I never heard of but no it's you but in a good way wHAT

/lh for literally everything above this cus I'm insecure and irrationally afraid of upsetting people

[dansemacabre]

i’ve been thinking about “sixer, it would eat you alive” since i read it and. man. every layer you peel back makes it worse. im not a bill apologist but. shit

if you (1) take it at face value, it paints bill as an apologetic murderer in his single (and maybe sole) open moment of regret. he doesn’t let his walls down often- only with ford do we even get to see the remnant of his galaxy, see the “actual remorse” ford describes, get just a hint of his origins. but he does it, because he thinks ford should know.

if you (2) take it from ford’s point of view, as something he committed to journal three, like. wow. imagine being so committed to a being that you’d hunt down and kill the monster that destroyed his home, only to (assumably) figure out later that that being was the monster. the small moments of trust, the “good times”, are so key to manipulation. how long did ford hold onto that one shred of vulnerability? no wonder ford stayed for as long as he did. in his eyes, bill was a survivor. ford wanted to survive too.

(slight tw below for unreality- any time i mention our reality, i mean “our reality” as a narrative device used in the book of bill as a proxy for the idea of bill being in our reality, since he can’t actually be in our reality. all of this is a fictional theory about a show/book with fictional contents!)

but if you (3) remember that “even his lies are lies” and absolutely Nothing bill says should be trusted. Whoo boy. if i read tbob right the book itself is being created in the theraprism (even tho it shows up with the ciphertologists at some point? idk that’s a whole other post). it’s meant to show what the reader wants to see; it manifests in our reality as what the collective fandom wants to see. so if we want to see truth, if we want to see where bill ended up and who he actually is, there’s a non-zero chance that the whole interaction was a complete fabrication.

imagine bill, stuck in the actively harmful, probably earth-illegal theraprism, once again being forced to be “fixed” and molded into something more palatable, being forced to conform no matter how much it hurts. (i know natural uncontrollable mutation ≠ just so much murder and destruction and chaos, but. you can’t ignore the similarities. bill has obviously been thinking about those silly straws.)

he looks back on everything that went wrong, back on his relationship with ford, back through every dimension where he wins. would that one moment, that one truth amid centuries of lies, have saved him from purgatory? if he had just been open? shown his damage? maybe he did think of his parents, or his henchmaniacs (especially the oracle). people who he might have once opened up to. maybe he just wanted to open up to someone again.

so in his own weird way, stuck in a cell, he reshaped reality again. in this reality, for this fleeting moment, he had been someone worth believing. and ford had listened, hell, ford had wanted to help. looking back, knowing how he treated ford, knowing how ford ended up because of it, maybe bill would have said the most honest thing he’d ever told ford: i am the monster, i am not worth your time or belief, and i will eat you alive.

[nulllray]

rid15 star practice ft. a glimpse into my twisted mind

[art-from-the-juice-box]

gen loss dump part 2 :]

i have a gen loss playlist so the last two was me hitting randomize and drawing a pic based on the song before it finished. the second one technically isn’t that cause charlie’s inferno isn’t on apple music cause they hate me so it’s way more of the song out of spite because they wouldn’t give it to me.

[j4y-k4y]

percy and ares beef is too funny

[sunnybunnybabs]

*Trips and falls and drops my stuff, my drawings spilling everywhere* oh god oh fuck-

Okay but in seriousness uhhh I made a Murder Drones OC!!!! Their name is Kint and they're a cringe fail loser girl (gender neutral) and is like a scene kid with a sparkle dog oc idk I kinda just made them up on the spot

Also uhfhh self ship,,, I like N,,, I like to think they bond over drawing,,

[trashvampiree]

Long awaited...maybe? The Lost Boys Memes Part 4!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!! !!

These are worse quality than before OOPS :( so sorry

(if you care enough to read the tags,,,im hiding stuff in there) (standing in front of you like a deer in headlights)

Let me know which one made you laugh more cause thats what a mf (me) is here for (stares at you with my huge eyes)

[skunkes]

ok posting it here bc im not sure if its going to stay in the doodle page

[dragonji]

guys I cant keep lying by omission I do Have to say . it's not that I dont ship qyz with anyone its literally just that I do Nawt like seeing him with yy to be so honest with you

[butterflieswhisper]

hiiii ^^ beastlife fishie analysis. spoilers ahead. etc etc

okay so. the main point of this is simple. I don't think the salmon head cursed c!fishie. Explaining that is the harder part I think. also i'm going to refer to the salmon head thing in e5 as "the incident" from here on out because frankly i think it's funny

Let's start with the incident. The big day. etc. What happened? Why did it happen? Obligatory third questioning statement? Well. She was gifted the salmon head for her birthday by kiwi(or like. someone in the kiwibird system. -bird system. the birds). Immediately upon receiving it she relives parts of season one and fishie herself doesn't really acknowledge it. The other players definitely notice but im not caught up enough in any other pov yet to like have thoughts on that I'll come back to that point someday. Fishie seems shaken, sure, but she moves on so quickly, especially considering what happened just there. 37 seconds of standing frozen, unresponsive. she recovers in 5 seconds. And seeing how she reacts later on to realizing the memory situation--if she was aware that happened, she would probably be concerned by it. She puts it on for a brief second at the end of the party and takes it off immediately. She's otherwise normal -- well. as normal as she is otherwise up to that point. Because that is also how she acts with pretty much any salmon head, even just kiwi herself.

I raise: Episode one, about 8:20 in. The slow zoom on kiwi as the static overtakes every other noise. This is the *exact* same behavior displayed when fishie receives the salmon head, albeit without actual concrete old video footage style flashbacks. In episode two (28:55ish) the same thing happens when she looks at the salmon head in moch's house, but this time there is technically a flashback -- kiwis grave. Fishie moves on immediately and doesn't acknowledge her behavior at all, and, seeing as it is fishie, im inclined to believe that means she does not know she is doing it. Fishie (when alone) will discuss all of her problems in immense, and usually misguided detail (bestie i promise kiwi doesn't hate you???) to the audience and/or herself. I mean she's not alone in episode one, and it is technically presession, and i guess getting struck by lightning is a decent distraction from your problems, but in episode two? She is completely alone. There is nobody with her. She went looking for moch and moch is not there. She still doesn't acknowledge the fiveish seconds she is completely frozen. This happens again and again with kiwi and salmon heads.

And then that leads you to e5. The incident. She's. well. she's doing worse. 0:50. "This will distract me if i leave it up." This is the first mention from fishie herself about how fucking weird she's being, and even then she doesn't seem concerned. I think she does not realize she's being so so incredibly weird about it. If the static and freezing is what's referred to as "distraction" then keeping it in her inventory makes it worse actually so it wouldn't really make sense unless the way it is distracting her is NOT the. well. whatever the fuck is wrong with her (affectionate). After she puts the head on there's the static all the time but for a short brief amount of time she's like significantly more normal and i don't really know if that means anything i just think it's really funny.

And then we all know what goes on during the incident i'm not analyzing this video frame by frame. um. i could. but i am not going to right now. And then she has the conversation on the table with kiwi where she like is normal for 5 minutes. Like genuinely the most. i guess stable? fishie's thought process is is like in the moments directly after the incident. She is immediately understanding with the antikiwi situation, they come to an agreement that they're like. okay now. "thank you for everything and im so sorry i couldnt do more" / "it was short, but it was nice" "i knew what i was getting into when i married you" etc etc and then they kind of rush it at the end because people won't stop dying. But then fishie is fishie and takes it in the complete opposite extreme (from. um. whatever was wrong up until now. to "oh kiwibird must secretly hate me because" and then there's no real good reason she's just like that) and it's also an issue. And i think the season two memory thing is also a part of that but this is so long already and so i'm not going to get into it rn. So bringing all of this back to my original point: the salmon head was not the cause of the curse(?) because she's been so weird all the time forever and the salmon head thing was just like. an effect. of whatever went Wrong(tm) in the season transition. like the head was a vessel to Be Worse about it but i feel like it would have worked with any salmon head she got her hands on and that it happened to be kiwico was a coincidence and also that the head wasn't cursed at all there's just something deeply wrong with fishie s3 in general and uh yeah 👍

I'm so sorry this is so disjointed i had a thesis statement and everything. alas

[art-from-the-juice-box]

annnnnnnnd qsmp mostly purgatory cause i was doodiling through every charlie slimecicle vod for those as i caught up lmao

[menlove]

rlly highly considering a personalized plate to go w all my beatles stickers so i can be the most annoying car in town

[no-tengo-ojos]

I want to DRAW but I am in a PUBLIC library and people would SEE what I’m DRAWING and that makes me SCARED

[difty-dift]

Back in middle school, I sat there suuuuuper insecure hearing all the boys talking about the super mature shooty shoots and sports and racing games on their Xbox 360s and PS3s, not even daring to mention our Wii.

And now, years later, I stand with two coworkers my age as they chat about the various Pokemon games they're playing. And I dunno, sometimes small things make me happy for silly reasons

[mikuhats]

misha fact: when i was like 16-17 i was rly into enstars but SPECIFICALLY arashi narukami (shes like the only girl of the ensemble of characters) (shes trans) (and yes they dont have a good track record with her writing) and one of her best friends is mika kagehira and theyyy were Straightbaiting me in a Yaoibait game . They were so cute . Mika is one of the first characters to call her Naru-chan . They love each other sm . And i loved THEM together so much . U can look in my art archive . i drew them quite often . THEN . the game kind of got a "sequel" but not rly cus it was all the same game but the 3rd yrs graduated and the story continued and new characters were introduced and ect. And i remember waiting like a Fool for new stories where they interacted . They barely got anything . Then eventually i lost interest . And then sometime this year i find out....... THEY MADE MIKA AND SHU (some other fucking guy who cares) CANON? dont piss me off . the one time in my life i think Yaoi should LOSE to Het romance . God. Narumika you were bigger than the whole sky and they couldnt fucking see it

[im-smart-i-swear]

drops this at your feet and disappears for two weeks