#also im sorry she mentally called him a freak i am fucking laughing

[sodibun]

It is not entirely uncommon to find a glass of something expensive and alcoholic close to Nenni's lips. Curling decorate nails around the slender cup, she takes gentle sips of a new drink, a Fibonacci Sunrise, testing the flavours. Of course she can brew her own drinks as well as any potion, but it's so much easier to pose upon a barstool and have it delivered to your hands in a moment. Thus she orders a second and strikes up a match to light her first cigarette of the eve.

Perhaps this is the most friendly you will ever find her; not casting daggers at those around her but instead musing their presence, allowing them to remain relaxed and unguarded. Like a vicious cat bathing in the sun undisturbed, Nenni remains quiet and unaggressive for now. The seat beside her is free until a man, a true freak of a man ( she thinks ) towering beside her akin to a great oak against a wilting rose, takes it with the familiarity of the place with which Nenni does not posses.

" Is this place always so crowded? " She exhales the words along with a puff of silver smoke. Whether she refers to the bar, the ward or the island itself - it's safe to assume it's everything. " I'll never get used to the noise of this place. "

@amoirsetpacis

[ii-viixx]

tw: venting, self-harm/sh, blood mentions, mommy issues ranting (if that’s an actually trigger, sorryyyy), family issues, ect

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sorry for this long ahh vent or wtvr the fck i wrote was. also idk i jst started to add other stuff to it, i got bored & jst wanted to vent even more. sorry if it doesn't make much sense, its 4 in da morning

/////

Why’d I let him do that. Did it even happen.. ?? Every day that I don’t speak about it,, or when I do it feels like guilt swallowing me whole. Was it real? Was it real? Was it real? Was it real? FUCK…. Or is it another of my little ass stories. Fuck, I’m so stupid. So very stupid. FUCKKKK !!!! UGHHHH. Why’d I let him touch me,,,, he touched me he touched me he touched me he touched me… Maybe??? IDK,, I wanna rip the skin off my flesh & cry.. fuxking start laughing like the fucking Joker when I do. Did it even happen? Did it? Did it? Did it? Did it? Was it real Was it real was it real was it real… I lwk be feeling like that one line, it went smth like: “pretty enough to be sexualized, but not pretty enough to be loved” 🤯 Lmfaooo (am I going crazy???? idk am i am i am i am i am. no im not… right? maybe i do need mental help, maybe I really do…). I get stared often. It’s strange but I sometimes like the attention. I sometimes think that I’m not worthy of love. It’s weird being horny almost all the damn time? is it cuz i’m a teen or did my constant exposure & most likely SA experience fuck me so bad that I became hyper sexual???

.. Gosh, I feel like a freak whenever I think of myself in that way… yk that reminds me.. when I was younger, around 7,,, I was taking pictures or jst plain staring at my budding chest… Even though I wasn’t deflowered, I still felt like my petals fell anytime I was stared at by older men or getting touched by him,,, Him him him.. Him. Did he did he did he did he? I need answers. Maybe I’m just sick in the head for thinking he touched me,,, did he? Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. In the end we were jst kids. Enough abt that. Let’s go onto how I became who I am today. I grew up to a single mother. Typical. My dad left us before I was even born (rude but whatevs). We moved at least 3 times before settling down. Whoo… She was a fucking mess my mom was a mess. A pretty heavy drinker & smoker. I was surrounded by it from her, her boyfriend (now ex), his lil friends & maybe hers? idk. She used to kick me out & lock me out the door, I got used to it but I got lucky if her ex decided to open it for me. She was abusive, physically, maybe ? idk but i’m pretty sure she did. I blocked out a ton of shit from my childhood 💀 growing up she used to call me names & hit me even tho i didn’t do nothing. wrong. She’d talk to me abt her feelings & venting. (Wow way to do a number to a fucking 3yo). She’d vent abt her troubles. I had to learn how to feed $ dress myself when she didn’t want to. I don’t think she likes me as a person but she definitely loves as a daughter. So hypocritical, but sometimes so am I. Ive come to realize that I’m almost like an exact copy of her. from her face, hair, personality, the way we present, ourselves, up to the way we fucking talk. My family even says so. But as much as I hate to admit, I can see the almost uncanny resemblance, well obviously i’m aware of the whole: ’YoU’Re boUnd to LooK liKE YOur MoTHer, yoU cAME fROm hER’ ik that but it’s annoying to hear it almost every fucking day, I live & breathe. It’s annoying as shit. But that’s also why I was piercing & highlights. Jst to have at least some type of different between us, jst so I can’t hear other ‘OMG!!! U look *jst* like ur mother! Like a little mini-her’. It was cute the first 3 or 7 times, but after what.. almost two decades of hearing that sentence. It gets pretty annoying. What I despise equally as much is when ppl say ‘Dang you looked jst like her sister’ (towards my mom). She looks pretty young yea, but it’s annoying too. Though in the end. I love her, I’m proud of her. She’s really trying to better herself, and whatnot. But fuck, please for the love of god; go to therapy woman. U need it, I need it, even nana (grandma) needs it. Almost everyone in my family needs ts. We’re all fucked up in a way. more shit cuz y not.. i started self-harming/sh around the age of 3-5. It was jst simple: hitting myself, hair pulling, scratching, bruising. I did it when I got stressed w home life, when I was angry, sad or jst felt like it. I stopped for a bit, but then it was a whole cycle once more. On & off typa things. Though,, one summer after going crazy abt whether to cut or not. My friend showed her twt feed, I saw video after video of ppl cutting, slicing, bleeding, ect. I was skhakjng, basically tweaking out like how Tweek from SP/South Park does (not exactly but similarly). I bit my tongue. After the skool yr was over, the first official night of summer, I decided to grab a pencil sharpener, unscrew the blade & I gently swiped it across my thighs. No blood, it stung like crazy doe. i barely even cut the skin. That’s when I started to go a bit deeper, jst out of the blue. That’s when I hit blood, no styro tho. Something went over me & I went deeper, pushing the blade onto my arms. I checked the wound. My first styro, my heart was racing, pounding. I was excited. I did even more styros, some a bit deeper than others. I still have every scar to show it. Even the little 4 straight-ish ones that look like little slopes or rows of corn.

[c03xistentw01]

ight i have a lot on my mind i gotta write it all up real good real fast before i forget.

last night i went to some random ass town called Gorizia on the border with slovania for work. The whole region was so slovanian that even in the market where we worked the signs and shit they were all bilingual in italian and slovanian.

slovanian lowkey gives off turkish vibes.

not so many of us came from padova so we just hoped on a black van and left. the driver who gave off strong leonardo vibes was playing twenty one pilots for the good portion of the time. i liked him kinda. i was lowkey admiring his long neck the entire time of the trip when i was sitting behind him liKE A FUCKING PERV YES IKR.

i didn't get to have much convo with him. i actually got none. except for the time when after legit 6 hours of work in the market he saw me and was like "lets go lets go lets go" without even looking at me for a sec thinking well since I'm speaking english the lil bitch is supposed to I'm talking to her ight?

there was this other guy from pd who i legit got to have a convo in italian with which felt nice and ... weird? cuz I'm never mentally prepared to speak italian?

and oh my god I'll never forget 'Vlad'. My team leader there.

he would see me across the hall miles away and shout my name "Paaaaaaaria" with theatrical eye rollings. And then see my work and be like "Maaaaarvelous. If you ever need any assistance (except for of course boyfriend material stuff) just call me. I'm used to be called with any consonant".

he once moved some stuff which made a loud noise i looked at him he was like im sorry i didnt mean to be this much dramatic *followed by yet another theatrical eye roll".

basta. when i got home and to my bed i was so tired i couldn't even sleep. i woke up at 11 am tho. went to mensa. got anxious. felt short (about that i was walking in portello some other day with hilal when a tall girl was walking towards us with her friend i heard her say "bassa" looking at me and the other "si sente" and looking down.

yes.

ladies and gentlemen. this happened. people are mean dead-inside assholes. They say whatever shit they want, making more space in your mind to wonder whether other people have always thought the same but never mentioned it.

although the pain the bitch inflicted was soon oddly compensated when hilal said "but girl you are average".

later that night when we were already drunk we decided to go to hilal's house and get more booze on the way because why not and also because hilal left italy to turkey on the following day.

we got there got more drunk. ade joined. we got high. I started speaking italian ade was like wtf you're at least B1.

before that hilal was talking about berfin and sometimes i get this feeling when other people are opening up to me deeply that okay but why do i not do that with them? like why do i find it so freaking difficult to open up about something that happened to me and was way more brutal but there my friends. is exactly where you start losing friends. so you keep your mouth shut.

but anyway. that night i realized it's different with hilal. when she opens up mi sento piu leggere invece.

i saw fatima today at mensa after a longass time cuz she was in cividale and i was just ... busy surviving the shitwave of shit of which I've had nothing but recently. She told me about this weirdass roomie of her who according to her has been hacked by some creepy dude for the past 12 fucking years. the dude even deleted his thesis and stuff. Fatima said i even once asked her to share her internet with me through hotspot and she was like no this is how my sister got hacked as well i dont recommend u do the same. i mean the whole fucking situation is so fucking creepily stupid we all dont know whether to feel pity whether to laugh cuz shit looks so fucking um .... surreal? or to call the police asap cuz i mean cmon.

[toxiic-wastee]

hey buddy, I’ve got a request

how does the duwang gang (+Hazamada and Mikitaka and maybe even Yukako 😳😳) react to reader sending dumb shit at 3 AM? like memes or what happened in their dream. modern AU kinda because of textin and all, also gender neutral preferred.

sorry if you’re working on something else, thank you buddyyyyyy 🐎🐎🐎

IM WORKING ON DIFFERENT 7 SMUT REQUESTS BUT THIS IS BETTER. THIS IS FAR MORE IMPORTANT IT IS 3:12 PM AND IM IN THE SHOWER WHILE WRITING THIS ON A TUESDAY SO LETS SEE HOW FAST I CAN WRITE THIS WOOOOOO. Idk who you count as the Duwang but Ik who I count so. Can be read as romantic or platonic (except for Koichi it’s romantic for him)

Josuke

-you remind him of Okuyasu tbh, the memes, the stupid ass dreams, the rants and you being sleepy and dumb.

-it’s so funny to him though.

-Tomoko took away his video game console for 2 weeks because she caught him talking to you at 4am.

-you told him about what happened in your dream and he mentally face Palmed, he gave you a resting bitch face picture once and you saw his hair all messy and you laughed at him so much. (Even going as far to threaten to leak the photo)

-there’s probably a group chat if you and Josuke and Okuyasu and Josuke just has to put up with your guys’ bullshit lmao.

Okuyasu

-what makes you think he isn’t doing the exact same thing to you??

-you guys get no fucking sleep I swear. you both constantly text, and the fact you're just as weird as him makes him so happy, youre his 1st best bud, mans dont even care about Josuke anymore.

-he wakes up early so he can go to your house and walk to school together so instead of texting you abt his dream he can yell it at you.

-he probably sends you old vines.

Koichi

-Ayana found him asleep with his phone buzzing due to you spamming him at 3am.

-he isn’t awake very late, he goes to sleep early. So when you first start spamming him he adjusts his sleep schedule to be able to text you. He probably gets caught talking to you a couple times by Mrs. Hirose, she’s so nice and sweet though. she gives him a warning and invites you over to spend the night and makes you guys food. But Ayana eavesdrops and reports to her mother about your guys’ conversations..

-he genuinely thinks the stuff you send him is funny and he giggles silently at all the stupid shit you send him.

Rohan Kishibabe

-he is so fucking pissed.

-“Y/N why would you interrupt me for your childish stories?”

-he probably blocks you :/ (he unblocks you later tho,, only to block you again the next night, it’s an endless cycle.)

-After a while he enjoys your goofy stories about your dreams, he may smile at your memes sometimes but never to go as far to actually laugh.

-you guys probably call often, Rohan is good at multitasking and can call while drawing his manga.

-as long as you don’t tell anybody your calling him during work hours he doesn’t care. (He doesn’t want the gang calling him while he’s at work, ur the exception)

-if he is up late and texts you it’s probably him giving you a list of shampoo, soaps and cleaning products because he says you stink.

Yukako Yamagashi

-As seen in most of Yukakos episodes she doesn’t enjoy people goofing off a lot, she’s strict and focused. Which is so beautiful I love her-

-She doesn’t mind you going off task and not sleeping though. Mainly because you spend the time texting her. She adores you and the stuff you find funny. She isn’t one for memes but I can see her liking memes after you spam them.

-whenever you tell Yukako about your dreams she always laughs and chuckles, she sends back long detailed paragraphs in response but if she’s too tired she send small paragraphs with poor grammar.

-She probably sends you pictures of herself at night, mainly her getting ready for bed with a smile, to remind you to “Go to sleep, we have a long day ahead of us! ❤️”

Hazamada

-he’s the type to send cursed images, you can expect horrifying shit to look at, I kinda feel like he would send pictures of dead animals with the words “Pablo dead” over them?? If this stuff freaks you out it’s gonna be a fictional animal, probably from a manga he likes.

-he tells you about his dreams too, he usually has nightmares but telling you helps him laugh it off.

-sometimes Surface steals Toshikazu’s phone and texts you, and if he does it means Hazamada is asleep. Toshikazu will take a picture of the sleeping Hazamada and send it to you saying “bitch fell asleep at 9pm.”

Mikitaka

-he doesn’t have a phone, you’d probably have to buy him one. Or he’ll steal one. Either works 🤪

-he is amused by your ranting, he finds it very enjoyable.

-he doesn’t understand many of your memes but he always laughs.

[please-buckme]

The View From The Fire Escape. (3/3)

Bucky Barnes x gn!reader

Words: 1.6k

Warnings: angst, fluff

A/n: WOW, keeping this gn!reader was so hard, especially when he talks to his therapist! :/ I hope you guys enjoyed it and I’d love your feed back on it! I also wrote this with a headache, so if it sucks im so sorry. Love you guys <3 thank you for the support.

Part 1 // Part 2

The days dragged on, your body aching from head to toe. Mostly from your job, you’d been working doubles to avoid any sort of interaction with Bucky. Only your lower back was sore from the ‘incident’, physically. Mentally you were hurt and confused.

Hurt because you didn’t understand. Why would he do such a thing? If there was something wrong, why didn’t he tell you before it got too far? And if he didn’t want you in that way, why lead you on like a fool? Some many questions ran through your mind that you wanted answers to. The problem was, you were sort of scared of Bucky now.

And you were confused because he never really made an effort to apologize. He said it on his way out of your apartment, but since then.. nothing. No call or a text, even though a text would’ve set you off; how cowardly. You find yourself daydreaming of him coming to your door, getting on his knees and begging for forgiveness. He hadn’t though. He smiles at you through his window kind of like he’s asking you to come to the fire escape, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it.

You liked Bucky, you really did. After it happened, though, you realized you knew nothing about him. Sure, you know little things like his favorite beer and how self conscious he is sometimes, or how he changes the subject when you two start reminiscing on old times. The only thing you knew about his past is, he was a momma's boy, outgoing and he loved his best friend; he talked about him all the time.

That was it though. You felt like an open book to him and got nothing in return. You still didn’t know what happened to his arm; he wasn’t just born with a freaking metal arm. And you still had no idea why he lashed out at you.

The more you thought about it, though, the less you wanted to speak or even seen him again. You just wanted to become strangers to each other again, as if you aren’t already.

//

“Tell me what happened.” Bucky’s therapist was calm, even with all the tension coming from Bucky.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Then why are you here?” She raised an eyebrow in question.

“Because I have to be.” He answered bluntly.

“Is it the nightmares?” She asked with a sigh, getting tired of the game they play every time he has a session; it’s like pulling teeth trying to get him to talk.

“Not really. I mean, they’re part of it but no.”

His therapist leans in slowly, worry spreading across her face, “Tell me what’s going on, Bucky.”

Bucky groans, “I think- I think I’m falling for someone.” He readjusts, now feeling exposed and a little vulnerable.

“That’s good, isn't it?”

“It was.. until I fucked it all up.” He runs both hands through his hair. “That’s all I’m good at, fucking up every good thing that comes my way.”

“Breathe and tell me what happened.” She clicks her pen and settles into her chair as she waits for Bucky to speak.

“The notebook? Come on, I’m cooperating.”

“I’m just going to write down their name and anything that may come off alarming. It’s your first relationship since the 1940’s and since being the Winter Soldier. I’m hoping what you’re going to tell me isn’t as bad as I think it is.” She sighs again, flipping open the notebook now. “Did you hurt them?”

“No.. well-“

“Well?” She asks. Bucky hears her breath hitch and he hates it. She knows he’s a killer. She knows he can kill someone with his bare hands and not even flinch, because he has. He isn’t that guy anymore, though and he wants to prove it. Has to prove it. If not to her or y/n then to himself.

“We were.. ya know, well not exactly. I mean we were about to and I might have, accidentally, lashed out. It’s all a blur now. All I know is, one minute they were there on top of me and then on the floor. I guess I have a trigger when someone holds me down.”

“So you had a panic attack?” She’s now writing.

“Yeah..”

“And then what happened?”

“Could you stop writing, please. I can hear the scribbling as if you’re etching something into my skull. It’s very annoying.”

“Stay on topic. What’d you do after saying them on the floor?”

“I left, okay? I apologized and I left.” He stands from his seated position and paces the floors of her office.

“When did all this happen?”

“Two weeks ago today.” He runs his hands over his face in frustration and exhaustion. Since that day the nightmares were on overdrive. As if his mind stores special, horrible memories just to torcher him.

He sees y/n time to time through their windows but that’s it. No more friendly chats to help him through his darkest nights. No more y/n and that heavenly smile even on a long day's night.

Everything is just as it was before. Just Bucky and his thoughts, a dangerous combination. His eyes well up with tears, the feeling of loneliness taking over his entire body.

“Earth to Bucky?” The therapist shouts, snapping her fingers.

“Huh?”

“I asked if you’d seen this person since that day.” She reiterated.

“Oh.. uh, no. I mean, yes. I see them but we haven’t spoken.”

“Well, what are you waiting for?”

“I’m scared. I don’t want them to look at me like I’m a monster. I’m not who I used to be I- I’m good now. I just want them to see that.” A tear threatens to fall before he wipes it away on the back of his gloved hand. “I want to be a good person.”

The woman sighs and stands from her chair. She walks over to Bucky, tapping him on the shoulder until he turns around.

“If you really like this person, talk to them. It’s the only way to get through this. If they really like you, they’ll be patient and understanding. You’ll never know how they truly feel until you talk to them face-to-face. Our times up. Go.”

//

It was Thursday and it just so happens to be your first day off in two weeks. You’d plan to do nothing but sleep and watch awful rom coms in between the sleeping portion of the day. It was around 5pm. The sun was setting and you were on rom com number three; ‘Definitely, maybe’. You were close to tears when the doorbell rang. “Who is it?” You holler from the couch.

“It’s.. uh, it’s me, Bucky.” He could hear your heart pounding in your chest. This was a mistake. You were already frightened and you hadn’t even opened the door yet.

“Oh, I don’t think-“

“You don’t have to let me in,” he assured you. “Just.. listen or don’t. It’s totally up to you.” He waited for a response, but when you said nothing he took that as a ‘I’m listening’ and continued, “I fucked up, y/n. I know I fucked up and I’m sorry. I can’t take back what I did, but I swear to god if I could I would. I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me for the rest of your life, but you gotta know something. I really like you. I’m over the moon for you. I can’t stop thinking about you and your beautiful smile or how gentle and patient you are with people and not just me.

“You’ve never asked me about my past or where I come from. You’ve always liked me for me, who I am right now. I’ll never find anyone who sees me for me the way you do and I’ll do anything. Anything. To get your trust back. Just give me another chance, please.”

You stared at the door, speechless. The desperation in his voice is tearing you apart. He hadn’t explained what actually happened, but you know in time he will. There were many things you needed to talk about, but for right now all you wanted was him.

He stood at your door leaning his forehead against it in defeat. He knows you're still there but couldn’t be sure if you were actually listening or if you were still nervous with his presents in your doorway. He bit his lip as he waited for any sort of movement or noise, other than your heart beat.

He sighs in defeat, “okay, I’ll go.”

“Bucky wait..” you say, seeing him halfway down the hall. “I hear what you’re saying and you’re right, I do like you for who you are. But I need to know about your past and why in the world you have a metal arm.” You huff out a laugh, “You can’t hide who you were just because you’re ashamed. I want to be your rock, I want to be the person you come to after every nightmare. I want all of you, including your past.”

“I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.” Bucky’s inches away from you now, taking your right hand into his metal one. “I want you to be my future and if that means showing you my past, so be it.”

You smile up at him and let out a sigh of relief, “god, I missed you.”

Bucky kisses you gently, running his flesh hand through your hair. “I missed you too.” He said, never leaving your lips. “I was also the Winter Soldier.”

“WHAT?”

Fin

//

Masterlist

Taglist: @haydens-moles @valkyrieofthehighfae @aurora-sweet @hoeforcuteguyswithcharmingsmiles @sebbystanlover-vk @youre-a-wallflower-charlie @nebulastarr @meegggoooo @skylerrae-solo @wintersoldiersthings @blondekel77 @gogolucky13 @buckysm3talarm @heavenlyseb @writersbuck @badassbuchanan @buckyownsmylife @buckysdolls @notwithoutbarnes @cherryblossomskye @ladyfallonavenger @drinkfantasy @tonystankschild @tfandtws @osterfieldshollandgirl

[khaleesiofalicante]

bestie do you really think it's funny to make me cry?

OK WHERE DO I START AUJHUJHDSDUJHFV

deep bre-INCOHERENT SCREAMING

That's it. that's all I have to say.

THEY PASSED THE CHILD PROTECTION BILL I'M GONNA BE CRYING IN A CORNER IF ANYONE NEEDS ME

All those shadowhunters who ran back to Idris I hope you starve to death there. have fun!

Anjali is so awesome OH MY GOD I LOVE HER ALREADY

Rafael is THAT kid I see...it suits him so well.

It had been two very long years stuck in this small office room. But every time Alec saw the way David giggled when Lexi called her father Jalapeno poppers or some other equally ridiculous name, Alec knew it was worth all the trouble.

THIS OMG I'M NOT OK

Alec wondered if that’s why so many leaders before him had been awful. It was easy to be a bad leader. But it took effort to be a good one.

This is so true...I'm so proud of him...

Dani...bestie THAT IMMORTALITY CRISIS WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME. I know it's gonna happen but I was having a very good day. why do you hurt me in such ways... (I'm pretty sure my family thinks I'm mentally unstable after the way I screamed reading)

“Anjali,” Diego sighed. “What have I told you about doors?”

“Knock them down?”

“I said knock on them!” Diego corrected, shaking his head. “Not knock them down!”

I'm in love.

HUHYUHKSDYKFVYUFVYU ALEC'S CONSUL VOICE I'M SCREAMING

SIMON BESTEST!! HIM SORTING THE STUDENTS INTO THESE GROUPS I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! AND ANJALI BESTIE GOOD LUCK AT BEATING THE SEELIES!! (good luck with stealing the weapons)

well, Rafael do you perhaps have a little crush? (Grammarly ik I'm writing in lowercase stfu)

ok ok I know this is pretty sad but every time someone gives Magnus or Alec the "you haven't talked to him yet?" look I start laughing-

ALEC'S SO CLUELESS ABOUT MAX AND DAVID I CANT-

“So, you are just going to leave me here and go to York then?” Max demanded now; all puppy dog eyes. “Like my mom left me at the academy?”

Yeah. He took the news a little too well.

MAX PLAYING THE ADOPTED CARD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

“Is it because you don’t like me?” Max pouted again. “Like my mom…Who left me all alone.”

“You can’t play the adopted card with me, you lil shit,” Rafael laughed. “I’m adopted too.”

I'M SO IN LOVE LEAVE ME ALONE

AWW MAX SEEING THE INSTITUTE AND IMMEDIATELY GOING "David would love this" ISTG THIS KID I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

“Weren’t you listening to a podcast on Mayan Civilization during breakfast?” Alec raised an eyebrow.

“Bapak said it’s historically accurate!” Rafe argued.

“Bapak is not that old!” Alec countered.

“Maybe he is,” Max said, analyzing the paintings on the walls. “Maybe you don’t know it.”

“Excuse me, I know how old my husband is,” Alec said indignantly.

“Then where are the receipts dad?” Max asked. “Show us the receipts!”

Where are the receipts, Alec? EXACTLY!

THANK GOD SOMEONE ELSE HAS CAUGHT ON TO MAX'S VERY OBVIOUS CRUSH

“I think he likes David,” Rafe whispered.

“Of course he does,” Alec whispered back. Why were they whispering? “David is a sweet boy.”

“No. I think he ‘likes him’ likes him,” Rafael giggled.

Alec looked at his son sharply. “But-He is..Da..They are children!”

“You’ve never heard a childhood crush?” Rafe grinned.

“No, I was too busy…studying,” Alec sniffed.

“That’s not what I heard,” Rafael bit his lip. “I heard you had a thing for boys in motorcycle jackets.”

“Okay that’s it! You are not allowed to hang out at Hotel Dumort anymore,” Alec said.

Really Alec? Studying? REALLY???

MAX AND RAFE RACING TO THE TRAINING ROOM!!!

the reference to the infernal devices...I'M GONNA KILL THE ALREADY DEAD STARKWEATHERS! I'M ABOUT TO DO SOME NECROMANCY SHIT TO BRING THOSE FUCKERS BACK JUST TO KILL THEM SLOWLY

Hugs max it's gonna be ok buddy.

In that moment, Alec remembered all the talks.

He remembered how his mother had lectured Izzy about not going out alone late at night, but she hadn’t said anything to Jace or Alec.

He remembered the way Jem spoken quietly to Mina in soft Mandarin about how people might call her names, but he hadn’t said anything to Kit.

He remembered the way Julian had told Ty to be careful about kissing his boyfriend in public, but he hadn’t said anything to Dru.

I hate this so damn much. I hate it. It sucks how there will always be people who will be targeted for being born the way they are. Whether it be skin color, sexuality, body type, or anything, people will always fucking talk and make the world unsafe for certain people just because they aren't generic male cishets. If you're a girl you're in danger. If you're a POC you're in danger, If you're neurodivergent you're in danger. If you're a member of the LGBTQ community you're in danger. If you're disabled you're in danger. If you're part of any minority you're in danger. If you dare to be different you're in danger. Fuck people. I'm a queer POC female and it's scary. I don't want to be always checking my surroundings when I'm out. I shouldn't have to feel this scared walking out of my own house but I do and it sucks. Ok, I feel like I'm derailing from the main point here.

Sorry for that just got really heated for a second there.

NO NOT THE NIGHTMARE. BABY NO

DAVID MY CHILD!! OMG, HE'S GONNA TAKE UP ARCHERY SOMEONE HOLD ME WHILE I CRY!

“This is who you are,” David said, his voice oddly soft now. Softer than usual. “And you’re beautiful.”

Alec blinked at that.

“Blue,” David said quickly. “I meant you’re blue. Uh, yes.”

BESTIE I SAW WHAT YOU SAID THERE. WE ALL DID

Also, alec sitting outside max's room...IM GONNA-

“David is in there,” Alec whispered. “I just wanted to…check…if everything was okay.”

“Alexander, are you spying on our child?” Magnus demanded. “Without me???”

“What? No! I-”

“Move over!” Magnus sank down next to him. “What are they saying? Are they kissing?”

“WHAT? They are not kissing!” Alec said in alarm. “Wait. Are they???”

He couldn’t hear anything now. Alec panicked.

“I haven’t talk to the kids about kissing yet,” Magnus pointed out. “We can’t talk to Max without talking to Rafael first.”

“Wait. Is Rafael kissing people???”

“Rafael is not kissing people,” Rafael replied as he walked past them to the kitchen. “Also, you guys are shit at whispering.”

Alec rolled his eyes at him and turned to Magnus. “It’s stressful enough that we need to talk about racism in the shadow world. Now we need to talk about kissing??”

“And other stuff,” Magnus chuckled.

Alec groaned into Magnus’ shoulder. “By the angel. Fine. We’ll just tell them there is no kissing. Until they are 30.”

“Hypocrite,” Rafael coughed into his hand as he walked back to the table with a bag of chips.

THIS WHOLE SCENE OH MY GOD.

And srsly alec? 30? really? whips out the extract "kissed" from cassie's website According to my files here-

“And David?”

“Yes, sir?”

“The bedroom door stays open from now on.”

David blinked, his cheeks pink. “I…What?”

“Door stays open,” Alec said, lowering his voice, just a register. “Is that understood?”

AYY ALEC DAD MODE YUCDUHDFHFUHJIUHC THIS IS SO AMAZING IM GONNA SCREAM

Alec advising David with the bow is so close to my heart...IDK WHY IT JUST IS

That conversation...PEOPLE FUCKING SUCK I HOPE HUMANS GO EXTINCT BECAUSE I SURE AM READY TO DIE SO LET'S TAKE THE EARTH DOWN-

“Why don’t shadowhunters have acne?”

"What?" Alec blinked.

“Their skin is like so freaking perfect and smooth and they can just freaking go through puberty without a one freaking pimple and don’t even get me started on the freaking dimples and then-”

Magnus started laughing. Alec felt a little confused.

EXACTLY MY THOUGHTS !!!!! THAT DAMN ANGEL BLOOD

That part about how we normalize these little things which are actually hurtful...I didn't realize that. I guess we really do, huh? This just made me want to be more careful with others and if I feel others do this with me, to stop them and correct them.

I loved this chapter so much. You're such a great writer.

I wanted to share something of my own now!! I FINALLY GOT MY COPY FOR RWARB!!!! I told my parents it was a thriller about how the first son and the prince forge a friendship and discover secrets about the government and the monarchy-

The place I bought it from sent me a very cute bookmark. It's a pride bookmark and it's just my first ever pride merch and I'm close to tears. Let's just say my family isn't the most accepting so this bookmark's really precious to me

Sorry, the quality isn't the best. I was in a hurry. It's almost 4 am now I'm gonna try and sleep (I'm gonna reorganize my bookshelf). See you on Tuesday!!

Thank you so much. I love reading your comments. They are so honest and full of life. You are going to LOVE rwrb. It's such a good book and it's so romantic and raw and perfect. Lmao about your parents. What they don't know can't hurt them ;) And I loooooooooove your bookmark. Be gay. Do crime.

PS -

"It sucks how there will always be people who will be targeted for being born the way they are. Whether it be skin color, sexuality, body type, or anything, people will always fucking talk and make the world unsafe for certain people just because they aren't generic male cishets. If you're a girl you're in danger. If you're a POC you're in danger, If you're neurodivergent you're in danger. If you're a member of the LGBTQ community you're in danger. If you're disabled you're in danger. If you're part of any minority you're in danger. If you dare to be different you're in danger. Fuck people. I'm a queer POC female and it's scary. I don't want to be always checking my surroundings when I'm out. I shouldn't have to feel this scared walking out of my own house but I do and it sucks. Ok, I feel like I'm derailing from the main point here."

THIS IS THE MAIN POINT. YOU GOT IT. SO CONGRATS <3

[ladynoirelf]

Dark Crystal Tik-Tok challenge: Calling s/o the wrong name.

Deet to Rian:

Deet was writing up her midterm paper comparing Stonewood and Grottons weapons for her elective history class. Thanks to Rian and Ordon, Deet had tons of research material to work with thanks to Ordon’s collection and Rian’s expertise. Though she was having a bit of trouble remembering what a specific sword was used for. She also made a mental note to call up Amri and see if he could send her a picture of his family’s old bombs that they used. She called to her boyfriend:

“Amri! I-I mean Rian”!

“Amri”!?

Oh crud.

Rian walked out in robe, pink facial mask on and his hair tucked under a towel.

“Of all the names to call, you call Amri? Your EX”?!

“Im so sorry”.

“Amr-Does Amri sounds like Rian? D-Do I look like an egotistical grottan with a bad haircut who makes horrible fashion choices ”?

“Hey”!

“Oh don't defend him Deethra, short or long just pick man”!

Deet stifled the growing lump of a laugh in her throat. “He was on my mind, I meant to call your name-”.

“Why was he on your mind? Why are you thinking about your ex-boyfriend when you have all this”?! Rian circled his hand around himself.

“I need help with my paper”. Deet giggled, finding humor in her boyfriend’s reaction.

“No you know what, get an F”.

“Huh”?!

“Yeah, you want to hurt your boyfriend’s feelings, you get privileges taken away. No more help, no more access to the family weaponry, you want help you get Amri”. With a final humph and quick tightening of his robe, he left Deet alone cackling on the bed.

 Rian to Deet:

After a successful date, Deet recommended that they grab some burgers and fries from Wimpy. 

Deet was driving despite Rian’s gentle protest, but the young Grottan loved using the car since it took to roads so well compared to a Grottan vehicle that was more suited for the paved sirt of her hometown. The problem was that Deets turns were quite harsh and sharp as if she was still trying to trek through the caves roads.

Rian held on to the coat handle for dear life as Deet skidded the car into the parking lot, nearly knocking over one of the trashcans by the outdoor seatings.

“For the love of Thra! Mira you're gonna kill us”! Rian screeched just as Deet spiraled to park perfectly.

“Who”? Deet put the car in park, brows raised in question.

“Huh”?

“D-Did you just call me by your ex-girlfriend's name”?

Did he? He was too terrified for his life to even comprehend what he was saying.

“Did I”?

“Yeah, did my driving make you think of her”? Deet grinned leaning in close to a flustered Rian, who was clutching his thumping heart. 

“Probably, she drove crazy like you. Though she didn't have an excuse she just liked giving me a scare”.

“Awww, you’re still going to introduce me to her right? She sounds fun”. Grinned Deet, grabbing her purse from the back seat.

“Oh yeah, she’ll love you”. Rian breathed, shakingly getting out of the car. 

His legs were so wobbly Deet had to help him inside the restaurant.

 Brea to Kylan:

Brea was on her phone while Kylan was at the foot of the bed folding their laundry. 

As she scrolled through her phone, she got an email from her friendly ex, Rek’yr. Apparently, he had tickets to a museum benefactor gala. He was going to go with his plus one but apparently, they had to cancel. So Rek’yr decided to offer the two tickets for her and Kylan to use. Delighted by an evening out, Brea immediately accepted the offer.

“Rek’yr what are you doing on Friday”?

“...”

“...”

“A-Are you...Were you addressing me”?

Brea slowly looked up from her phone, mortified as she realized her error. Kylan looked at her, a mix of confusion and hurt on his face.

“... I am so sorry”.

“I-Its fine, i guess. I mean...It was a mistake right”?

“Yeah”. Brea’s lips quivered, tear bubbles forming in the corner of her eyes. Kylan cooed, pulling her into his arms he rubbed her back as she began to cry.

“Shhh, it's okay Brea, I know it was a mistake”.

“I-I-Im so sorry”. She wailed, clutching Kylan’s snotty shirt.

“There is nothing to be sorry for Princess”. Kylan sweetly assured, kissing her temple as she continued to cry in shame.

Completely forgetting about the tickets.

 Kylan to Brea:

As much as Kylan was getting used to Brea’s family members randomly coming over to their apartment, It was a hassle when one of her sisters just came over randomly. The latest ‘visitor’ was Brea’s second older sister, Tavra.  Who apparently stopped by to drop off some leftovers she thought he and Brea might like then left in a hurry. 

So when he heard the door open, he assumed it was Tavra coming back for something.

“Did you forget something Katavra”?

“Excuse me, Ka-who”?

Kylan looked from his book to his girlfriend's confused frown. Brea pushed her sunglasses over her eyes, hands on her hip and amber eyes narrowed.

“Who is Katavra”?

“W-Wha”?

“You heard me”. Brea sauntered over, her intimidating demeanor forcing Kylan to scramble to the side of the couch. “Who is Katavara”?

“Is this a trick question or are you having fun with me”?

“Kylan, do I look like I'm having fun with you”. Brea leaned over, caging Kylan with her petite body. “I'll ask again.Who.Is.Katavra”?

“...Your sister”. Kylan warily answered.

Brea blinked, irritation morphing into realization. Her mouth opened in an “oh”.

“You mean Tavra”?

“Did you forget your sister’s name”?

“Well I mean, no one calls her Katavra so...Yeah I forgot her name. Sorry larva”.

“For the love of Thra woman”.

 Mothria to Gurjin:

The best thing about being chosen to dance in the Sog community’s up-and-coming festival was that Mothria had an excuse to ditch Pop-Pa’s excruciating farmwork. To replace it with an excruciating hour of practice, though it's not all bad. It was nice to spend time with Naia, as both of them were partnered up to dance the part of the maiden. Although, having your ex-boyfriend as the head director can be quite awkward. Thankfully, Geal was very professional and only talked to her when needed.

Unfortunately, when Mothria got home after a long rehearsal her greeting was a little off.

“Geal I'm home, wanna get take out”?

“The FUCK you just call”?

Mothria stiffened as Gurjin stomped over to the foyer, arms crossed and eyes burning with anger.

“Did I call you Gael by accident”?

“Yeah, you did”.

“I messed up bad huh”?

“Mm-hm”.

“Couch tonight”?

“I'll get it set up for you”.

Mothria didn't move as Gurjin’s locs hit her snout as he swiftly turned to march to the linen closet.

“I love you”. She called.

“Love you too, but you're still on the couch tonight”.

 Gurjin to Mothria:

If there was one thing Gurjin liked doing, it was messing with Mothria when was in a pissed mood. Not to pissed that would kick him out the loft, but pissed enough to at least get kicked out of the room for thirty minutes to an hour.

And he cooked up the perfect way to agitate his love moth even more.

His ‘victim’ was sitting at the kitchen island on her phone probably venting to his twin. With natural born charm, Gurjin slid to Mothria’s side wrapping a comforting arm around her shoulders.

“Hey, Lovemoth, why so sad”?

“Oh, just dealing with family drama Gur-Gur”. She sighed, leaning into his touch “Not to be a brat but can you cuddle me later. We can watch whatever I just want snuggles”.

“Of course, Resha”.

Gurjin bursted out laughing as he was roughly shoved on his rump.

“I freaking hate you”! Mothria growled, stomping their shared bedroom after gently punching Gurjin below the belt.

“OOF”! Gurjin guffawed as he clutched his gentiles “M-Mothy what about cuddles and movies”? “You're banned from cuddles and movies! I'm going over to Naia’s”!

“Can I come”?

“NOOOOO, people who call me by ‘Resha’ don't get my love”!

The fuming Mothria stepped over her still laughing boyfriend who was now rolling on the floor. Grabbing her purse and keys.

“Love you”! Gurjin wheezed, tears in his eyes.

“Eat sog”! Screamed Mothria, slamming the apartment door. Leaving a chukaling Gurjin on his own for the next few hours.

[hopeless-starry-kingdom]

You are the Cause of my Euphoria │Draco  Malfoy

Draco Malfoy x Reader

Summary:Draco is the cause of your Euphoria but to get to your euphoria there is heartbreak

tw:toxic relationship,cursing,and mentions of sexual acts

!!!!!!I AM NOT ROMANTICIZING TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS.I AM TAKING A SCENE FROM EUPHORIA AND TURNING IT INTO MY OWN LITTE REMAKE.PLEASE DONT THINK THAT I AM ROMANTICIZING THIS FORM OF RELATIONSHIP!!!!!!!!

“First of all, ew. Second of all, ew.”You said as you watched Draco grope Pansy Parkinson from her ass as they danced. He was taunting you. Playing his little game he always did when you two get into a fight. Letting Pansy hang all over him but this time it was more extreme. The Yule Ball lights danced off you and the platinum blond as you stared each other down. It seemed you were the only two in the room full of wizards and witches.

The argument in question took place a week ago when Draco seen Cedric Diggory walking you to Potions. Cedric was a good friend and also sat next to you in class. He was asking for help on one of the recent assignments and since you were so good at Potions, you of course helped him. Draco had always been the jealous type. He didn’t like the stares you got from boys in all houses when you walked down the halls together. He’d pull you extra close. He didn’t like that some of them were bold enough to float a note or two asking you out or telling you how pretty you looked that day.

So when Ron, knowing Draco’s jealous tendencies and wanted to piss him off, called out to you. He told you how gorgeous you looked in a skirt. This sent Draco into a rage and turned the poor red head into a Weasel. You yelled at Draco and told him to turn him back and that it wasn’t necessary.

But you also had a small green monster in you. You didn’t mind when Draco got attention from the other girls. It only irked you when Pansy couldn’t keep her slimy hands off him and wouldn’t stop praising the ground he walked on. So you set her robes on fire when you and Draco had gotten into another one of your “splittings”. That’s what everyone at school called it. The splitting happened after every argument and one of you would end up walking away and saying how done you were with the others antics and it was over.

Sometimes the fights were over small things. Like the way Draco would kiss you hungrily when he knew people were looking. And sometimes big things, like the way Draco’s father would treat him and your guys’ relationship.

But that was the thing about your relationship, you loved each other to the ends of the earth, you would say. In an argument with you mother to defend him when you brought him over for Christmas, you told her that you’d kill for him and he’d do the same for you. And it was true.

There was no one else that you could picture the rest of your life with. It will always be Draco. Sure your friends and others would say its a bit toxic, with all the arguments and plotting against each other. Maybe it was just the Slytherin in both of you. But after your screaming match about what happened last week with Cedric, you knew he was in the wrong for getting wrongfully jealous and the way he was dancing with Parkinson, all you saw was red.

You glared are the couple as Pansy danced with him and he sent you a sly look.

“Y/N..” You friend warned at the table your group sat at. None of you had dates. Sure people asked you once they heard about yours and Draco’s splitting (because no one dared to ask you while you were actually with him. They were all scared). But you didn’t want to go around prancing with a new guy like you usually did. You actually wanted to solve the problem this time. But Draco had another idea.

Draco smirked at you as your death glare continued.

“Y/N, don’t.” Another friend warned as you got the same look of revenge on your face. What set you off was the way Draco had turned her and began to run his hands along her stomach “Y/N, don’t do—”

“Fuck this.” You snapped before Hermione could finish and stood up, looking to find someone to dance with. You seen Blaise sitting with his friends and approached.

“Do you know how to dance?” You asked and Blaise looked at you ,surprised. Him and Draco were friends and you knew that it would piss him off, royally. When he stared behind you, you knew he was looking at Draco. You huffed when you knew he was going to deny your request so you left to find Cedric.

Which wasn’t hard becuase he was always surrounded by people. You grabbed his hand and said “Let’s dance.” Thats all that it took for him as his friends gave him wolf whistles as you dragged him deeper into the dance floor and past Draco. He had stopped his dancing as he stared at Cedric gripping your hips and swaying with you. You turned and started to rub your back onto his front while rubbing your hands down your dress clad body. Draco glared at you and you only tilted your lips up before taking your hands and rubbing them up Cedric’s side of his head.

“I guarantee you Y/N and Draco are going to get married.” Hermione said as she sat down at the table and watched the scene unfold “They’ll probably divorce like three times and in some strange way live a pretty happy life.” Your friend added.

“Yeah.” Harry agreed, then Ron, and then everyone at your table was nodding their head.

Back on the dance floor, the music was becoming more upbeat and you upped your antics. Your moves becoming more sultry and seductive and it had Cedric blushing but had Draco fuming. He tried to match your heated moves but eventually gave up once he seen Cedric whisper something in your ear and you smirked. He dropped his hands from Pansy and marched outside for a breather. You saw that he was now gone and Pansy was left confused, alone, and quite embarrassed in the middle of the dance floor.

You rolled your eyes and turned to Cedric, “Nice moves. I’m going to go sit down now.” You gave him a smile but before you could leave he caught your arm.

“Do I have a chance with you? Or is it always going to be Malfoy?” You sighed as a lump formed in your throat. You truly didn’t want to lead Cedric on, he was a good guy with a kind soul. But he was right, it was always going to be Draco.

“I never wanted to mislead you,Ced. Honestly. It’s just me and Dray—”

“It’s complicated and you have history. It’s fine. I understand. My advice?Stop trying to one up one another. It’s not healthy and frankly not good for either of your mental health.” You laughed because of course Cedric would be giving you life advice in the middle of a school dance.

“Thank you,Ced. I’ll try.” You smiled at him before walking back to your table.

“Well that was quite a show. Is it my turn?” Everyone glared at Ron and Hermione punched him in the shoulder “Ow!”

“Whatever. I just want to go back to our dorms. Tonight was absolute shit.” Everyone sighed and agreed but then Harry spoke,

“Uh, Malfoy’s heading this way.” Everyone but you straightened out as he approached.

“What do you—”

“Shove it,Weasel.” Draco cut Ron off and you glared at him. Draco always found it a mystery how you managed to become friends with the Golden Trio, considering they were from a different house and different status. You had taught him that though they may be different from him and you, they weren’t different at all. Houses shouldn’t matter, the blood that ran through their veins shouldn’t matter. It did take him awhile to realize where you were coming from and what you meant but you were right, and he realized his mistakes and apologized to them. But that didn’t mean they still didn’t irk him to a certain extent.

“Y/N get up.” He demanded and you rolled your eyes with a scoff “No.” You didn’t like how he spoke to you sometimes either. Like his father to his mother.

“Just get up.”

“Why?”

“Can you stop being so bloody difficult and come dance with me?” He hissed and everyone looked around the table at eachother.

“Why would I dance with you?”

“Becuase it’s a fucking slow song.Come on get up.”

“Piss off, Malfoy.She doesn’t want to go with you. End of story.” Harry stood and tried to defend you and you smiled at him but looked back at Draco.

“You’re despicable. But fine i’ll dance with you.” You gave in and stood. Grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the other teens who were slow dancing.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close to him. Your hands snaked around his waist as well and you layed your head on his chest as the song played.

“Sometimes I hate you.” You whispered

“I know.” He replied

“You’re cruel, psychotic, and a jealous freak. And sometimes I don’t like the way you make me feel.” You admitted and your voice cracked as tears began to well in your eyes and cause your throat to tighten. The same thing happened with Draco.

He was trying to get better at this. He didn’t want you to fell like there was no love in the relationship. He did love you. You were the light of his life. You were his patronus. He didn’t mean to get overly jealous or possessive but he just wanted you to himself and he couldn’t bare the thought of someone else being with you the way he is. It physically hurt to watch you walk away from the numerous breaks you two had. He didn’t want this anymore. He didn’t want to break your heart anymore than he already has. He wanted to give you unconditional love all the time, no more jealous kisses or possessive grabs. He swore to himself that after seeing you with Cedric.

You sniffled, “It’s not good for us.”

“I know.”And just as he was about to apologize and swear to you, one last time you spoke “And I know that I’m not the best girlfriend either and Im sorry but maybe we shouldn’t be together.” You hiccuped and Draco shook his head at the thought of you not being in his life. He gently pulled back and intertwined your hands “I love you.”

“Me too...But I don't want to hurt you anymore. I don't want to feel like this anymore. We both deserve better.” You replied and everyone was unaware of the conversation going on, they payed no mine to the couple and the relationship being torn down.

“I don't want anyone else, Y/N. Im sorry, we’ll fix this. We always do, darling.”He cupped the side of your face and rested his forehead against yours. You raised your hands and gripped the back of his platinum locks and brought his lips to yours. You knew that fixing the issue would only lead back to where you stood now. So you pulled back from his lips, him chasing yours as you stared up at him with teary eyes

“I’ll see you around,Dray.” And then you walked away. Away from the boy you loved but also away from constant heartbreak.

[cottoncandy-jester]

Lie down darling it's time for a dream

Bakusquad with a bara crybaby S/O

You may ask yourself"proxy what's this?!"

To answer youe question I have no idea I just want to indulge okay?!

Plus come on, a big buff reader being a bottom for their shorter lover is just amazing how could I not?!

Katsuki bakugo

Honestly he was the reason you cried the first time you guys met

He finds you to be both annoying and adorable

The way you hide behind him though despite you being taller makes his ego puff up

He is very soft around you and tries not to make you cry but sometimes he cant help himself

If he's the one who made you cry he was just aggressively kiss you while mentally screaming at himself for being so dumb

Anyone who makes you cry is dying

Even if you flinch cause of someone they are dying

Your soft behavior calms him down though if he's amped up though

Your tallness does irritate him though like who TF said you could be tall!

Is constantly yanking you down to kiss you

If anyone teases him about being the shorter one he goes boom

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! JUST CAUSE IM SHORTER DOESNT MEAN SHIT"

Let's everyone know that he's top dog between you two by biting your neck everytime you make out so others could see it

Speaking of make outs..when you cry during making out it makes him FERAL!

"look at the little baby, you're crying cause it feels so good eh? You want more kisses? Heh. Whatever"

You sniffle softly as bakugo run his fingers through your hair while straddling your waist. Today was a hard day during class and thw stress made you break down, you had to fight against bakugo and of course you going easy on him pissed him off so he snapped at you.

The two of you now sat in the dorm lounge while bakugo tried to stop your blubbering by kissing your tears away. A feeling of guilt weighted his chest down as he petted your hair and let you nuzzle your face in his chest if you wanted.

"come on [y/n] I said I was sorry, I didn't fucking mean it..so stop. I love you"

His soft whispers in your ear made you start to settle down and he smiled at the soft kisses he felt against his chest and neck. He simply sighs softly before picking his head up only to see deku and mina staring at the two of you with a crazy look. Bakugo growled loudly but looked at you before holding his anger since he didn't want you to cry again.. he'll kill them later for now you were the most important thing on his mind.

Eijirou Kirishima

This boy is crazy about you!

Like you are perfect in his eyes and he is constantly praising you til you are super red

He liked your height cause it's fun to hug you from behind or compare hand sizes

He gets pouty when he tries to kiss you but you are too tall like lean down so he can kiss your perfect face

He finds your fragile behavior super cute like you're shyness makes him smile

He will punch anyone who makes you cry like he almost got into a fight with bakugo when he made you cry

He gets annoyed if anyone calls you scary looking or asks if you're some delinquent cause you're tall

"please don't talk about him that way! He's really sweet and that is gonna hurt his feelings!"

Honestly cuddles for days

Your chest make him drool

If your hero costume has any part of your chest or even shirtless he is gonna stare

Work out dates together are to be expected

Seeing you get fit makes his knees weak

"i-i can't do sit up when y-you kiss me like that"

Your shaky voice made the redhead hold back a laugh as he sat infront of you holding your feet. He kissed you everytime you came up and after ten of those you were flustered and too shy to go on. Kirishima found your behavior so adorable that he just couldn't help but wrap his arms around you and kiss your cheek

"can't help it! My manly man is just so cute!"

You whined softly at his praise before you found yourself shyly nuzzling your face in the male's neck

"kiriii~ you're embarrassing me"

"oh? Can you not handle my compliments? What if I call you manly and handsome? What about cute oh and sweet! Not to mention you are just perfect..so perfect"

The praise was too much for you and you started to feel dizzy. You fell limp in the male's arms which made him panic so he pulled your face back from his neck to look at you only to see you were all red and freaking out

"k-kiri..called..me.. perfect-"

Your muttering made Kirishima laugh nervously before he kissed your head softly.

"okay tall guy let's cool you off before you explode"

Denki kaminari

If you thought Kirishima was bad with the praise denki is worse!

All his pervy energy is poured onto you and you can't handle it

Like constant praise and affection

Also..chest...man boobies is his weakness

His face is in-between your chest 90% of the time when you're together

Not only that but constant groping your chest

"[y/n]..your chest is like a girl but better! Sooo soft!"

As far as your crying he is the one to make you laugh when you're stressed or panicked

Will get hella pissed if someone were to make you cry

If he catches you crying best believe is will smother you with kisses and love to the point where you are flustered and laughing

As far as your height he is totally jumping on your back or asking if you can pick him up every once in a while

Will brag about you to everyone..like everyone

"[y/n] is so cool! They are so strong! plus their muscles are so sexy!"

Will say pervy this about tour chest to other people as well..like he has no shame!

"heh. During training his hero outfit ripped and i saw his yummy boobs!"

"y'know [y/n] is a dude rig-"

"gahhh! I'm so lucky! His cup size is like triple some of the girl sizes!"

You let out a shaky sigh as you heard a muffled groan from the male sitting in your lap with his face buried in your chest, well at least he was alive.

You were on your bed playing animal crossing while denki had his head buried in your shirtless chest. He requested you to be shirtless and you agreed since he's seen your shirtless before but this was getting kinda worrying

"h-hey denki, are you okay? You've been pressed against my chest like this for an hour..can you breathe?"

When you got no response you panicked before pulling denki back slightly only to see his face which was filled with bliss and joy, his eyes sparkled and his face flustered with the lack of air while blood dripped down his nose

"you're bleeding!"

You felt tears brim in your eyes as you tried to move to get a towel but denki simply latched onto you and nuzzled his face into your chest.

"I'm fine! I just- really like your warm chest"

You shivered lightly when denki gazed up at you with a sly grin

"you are too cute I can't help but cling to you like this y'know? My cute guy with such a cute body"

Before you could speak you winced at the feeling of a bite on your nipple

"d-denki!!"

"heh oops-"

Sero hanta

TEACH HIM YOUR WAYS

he wants to know how you got so big and buff like huh?!

Honestly when you two first met he was scared of you

Now he just loves you lots and lots!

He isn't about huge PDA like denki and Kirishima but he will hold your hand and even kiss it from time to time

Best believe he will tape someone's mouth shut if they make you cry

He finds your fragile behavior really cute and you have gained the nickname bunny cause of it

He loves touching your muscles and just cuddling with you

If he's the reason you ever cry expect him to do everything in his power to cheer you up

Sero looked at your weeping form curling up in the bed, you two got into a simple argument that left you in tears. He can't even remember what you two were fighting over but it was all stupid now, the male gulped thickly as he reached out and touched your hair before crawling up next to you so he could see your crying face.

"hey..bunny, look at me babe"

With a slight hesitance you faced him and felt him a kiss your tears away while holding tour hand tightly in his

"whose the best boyfriend in the world?"

You didn't speak but only whined lowly as soft sniffles escaped you but you were starting to smile so that was good. Sero simply kissed along your cheek and your lips very softly

"come on, who is it?"

"m-me.."

"yeah it's you, I'm sorry"

His voice sounded shaky as you two locked eyes before you hug sero close and mumbled out a soft I love you which he returned before you two cuddle close enjoying the other's warmth.

Mina ashido

Soft boy lover #1

Like she is so in love with how soft you are it's ridiculous

She adores hugging you and clinging onto you even if it makes you super flustered

She likes showing you off and bragging about you whenever she can

"[y/n] is so cute when he gets all flustered! He is just the cutest thing ever!"

Please let her give you many kisses

Will go protective mode if she sees you crying

"who did it! I'll fight them! No one makes my cutie cry!"

She wants to train with you as much as she can cause you are strong and she wants to get stronger

Loves to sit in your lap all the time

You have a bad habit of looming over her when you want something and it scares everyone

They don't know if you wanna kiss her of kill her

You found yourself standing over the girl while she was innocently chatting with jirou, you were as quiet as a mouse so she didn't notice you but it was clear you wanted something. You really wanted attention but wasn't sure how to get Mina's attention

Would it be rude if you were to hug her from behind? What about if you tao her shoulder to gain her attention? You stood there thinking but to anyone else you looked absolutely bloodthirsty.

"uh- hey mina, I think your boyfriend doesn't like me talking to you..so creepy"

You snapped out if it and winced at the insult, creepy?

You let out a hush sniffle as mins turned to face you only to wrap her arms around you and hug you tightly, she noticed your tears and shot jirou a quick glare if annoyance.

"a-am I creepy, mina?"

"oh, sweetie no! Of course not! You're my teddy bear, lean down"

You did as she said and leaned down before feeling her grab your face and cover it with kisses upon kisses. You felt your face flush as you whined lowly

"minaaa p-people are staring!"

"let them stare! They can all see how much i love you!"

You hugged the girl close as she kissed your face and you shyly returned the attention though you felt like dying from how flustered it made you.

[jean----ralphio]

IT’S BoB LIVEBLOG TIME

Episode 1 is under the cut!

Warning, I swear a lot... and am very in love with RSJ so a lot of this was just me pointing at the screen and screaming RICH and then remembering you can’t see me so writing it down...

Episode 1: Curahee! Curaahhee? Curraahhee? I can’t spell so I’m renaming it Ross is a punk bitch

Buckle up my babies, this will be a carcrash!

00:01 Here we fucking go aw yis

00:11 Aw who’s this? I wish they named the gentlemen at the start of the episodes, I wanna know who is who :s

00:25 Shifty, is that you my angel son?

00:41 OMG you guys… these men are breaking my heart </3

01:06 Lord, men were committing suicide because they couldn’t go to fight? That mentality… man. Oh my God, you angels. Babies.

01:36 No jokes allowed, every man is <3

01:40 Now that I’m humbled and we’re all well and truly miserable…the credits, ugh, my heart. The score is amaziiiing. Some of the footage is actual war-time footage, I read, which is a brilliant touch.

02:01 DICK <3

02:13 DICK’S HUSBAND <3

02:18 RSJ’S NAAAAAME

02:27 JFC this music makes me so emotional. Look there’s Matthew Settle’s face. That makes me emotional too

02:48 Ah it’s Roe <3

03:48 I’m trying to pick them all out in the line-up but I can’t tell who is who. Are we supposed to be able to? There’s a short one in the middle, is that Harry?

03:49 I’m not drunk enough to handle this

04:10 Upottery? Ah it’s so English I love it. That’s not a name! Wtf is up with English place-names, you guys have the weirdest names. Upottery? Seriously? Is it only potters that live there? I’m so confused

04:22 Close up of Roe! Perfect. I approve.

04:32 Is that the guy from Line of Duty? I think it is

04:39 Lip <3

04:44 Ew. GTFO Cobb. He doesn’t even go here

04:47 IS THAT RICH? RICH. ILY. ILY RICH. Please note that 94% of this will be a Rich-watch

04:53 Lieb stop. I am sure you are not a certified hairdresser

04:56 RICH. SMOKING. SMOKING RICH. More like smoking hot do you see what I did there?

05:20 I can categorically say that I love Joe Toye. I do. I love him. But every time I see Kirk Acevedo, all I think of is Charlie my baby from Fringe (awesome show, please watch it). And I just. Charlieee <3

05:39 Aw. They’re so sad

05:55 They’re so despondent. Guys. It’s fine

06:05 Fassy?? FASSY!!

06:18 God Damien is pretty

06:25 Nix that’s not how you flirt

06:57 Lol at Dick noting its happy hour. Thinking about taking Nix on a date, are we? I bet you are. Now THAT is how you flirt!

07:24 OMG the fucking flirting! GUYS. “And give up all this?” NIX SAYS AS HE CHECKS HIM OUT

07:37 Yeah, Nix, you’ll take him ‘to Chicago’ huh? Is that what they call it nowadays.

07:44 Do you want to be that cigarette? ‘Cos there is nothing heterosexual about that lingering look, Dick

08:18 ‘Murica time

08:25 Ross, fuck off. Nice jacket though. “You PEOPLE are at the position of attention” ugh GTFO. Dick’s sideye tho lol

08:52 NGL Ross does a great job at being super unlikeable

09:05 Noooo you don’t want it with Johnny Martin. You wont win. Yeah, walk away Ross

09:15 Careful around Lip too, or Speirs will materialize out of thin air and snap your neck

09:33 RICH. Don’t be scared of that douchebag, baby

09:43 What kind of question is that, there is nothing Lieb wants more!

09:50 It’s weird hearing Ross swear tho

10:26 Don’t argue with Johnny, baby. Also Roe OMG <3 Shane is freaking fit

10:43 Wow Lip is ripped

10:48 Oh no, poor baby. Lip leave him be ☹ </3

11:10 LOL I just noticed the drum by the door. It says ‘butts’ and it took me a seconds to realise it was for cigarettes. I am an adult (31-year-old married woman). I’ll laugh at the word butts if I want.

11:11 RICH

11:18 Lieb omg lol

11:39 RICH BABY NO! FUCK OFF ROSS! LEAVE HIM ALONE OR I WILL HAVE SPEIRS CUT YOU

11:52 I can’t take Ross seriously in those shorts. Hi-ho GTFO

12:07 Ew fuck off running up that, I’d just nope out like nah babe imma go chill with that sweet baby back in the butts cabin

12:18 Aw Dick <3 The juxtaposition of Dick as a leader compared to Sobel who sure he might be honing them into something formidable and skilled but he’s an asshole. He’s not a leader. He’s a bullying, abusive scumbag. Dick is an actual leader who protects them and supports them and encourages them and IHAVEALOTOFFEELINGSOK

12:43 You don’t deserve that sick jacket, Ross. Seriously. That is a boss jacket, I want it

13:04 Have they not stopped fucking working out all this time? Ugh

13:23 Oh good, Dick gets a boss jacket too. He deserves it.

13:30 I wish people had to ask me for permission to speak.

13:53 I just. He. I can’t with Dick Winters, you guys. I cannot. I have lost the ability to can. Like they’re so upset and tired and low and just with that little joke he boosts their morale back up from where Sobel fucking beat it down into the mud and makes everything lighter and they laugh and are less tense and I just. Fucking love you, Dick.

14:00 Is that my angel son? I see you Shifty, love you baby

14:03 RICH. DON’T TOUCH MY RICH.

14:07 Oh my God, address them yourself you weirdo, Ross. They’re right there, you’re right there! I had a colleague that used to do the same, would get me to speak to my employees for her when they were right there in front of her like… ‘can you tell x to do y for me pls…’ … I was like wtf you know you CAN talk to them… you won’t catch poor just by speaking to people lower down the pecking order

14:22 Fassy! Wtf they’re not supposed to drink? Dehydration is legit one of the most dangerous things, how tf can you turn them into high-key supersoldiers if they’re dehydrated? How is this man so dumb? The guy in front of Fassy tho omg. I bet Fassy’s boss wife Alicia Vikander won’t like her husband being treated that way… she’s so badass tho right?

14:26 He’s so dramatic! Ugh

15:11 Piss off omg

15:24 oh my DVD flipped its shit here, only picked back up at 16:30 don’t @ me

16:52 RICH WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO YOU RICH

17:21 Shifty my angel son

17:46 so sweet

18:04 Sink, babe, no he is the worst, stop

18:20 LOL no, he’s jel as fuck babe

18:32 NO FUN ALLOWED. Im sorry, that tie is so ugly

18:44 Simon Pegg??!!

18:51 Ross is so dramatic God shut up. it’s not a conspiracy, weirdo

19:10 “It’s a can of peaces, sir.” Iconic.

19:11 Dick’s tiny smile is equally iconic.

19:17 SHUT UP ROSS

19:44 He wants to be punched, I think, like he’s goading them. The sick fuck.

20:47 DON’T TRUST HIM, DICK!

21:02 ROE <3

21:31 Hoobler, aw <3

21:37 I warned you not to trust him, boys

21:54 Ah boys, oh no

22:04 RICH. Kick him, baby

22:17 Bull, punch him, seriously

22:24 Oh Luz <3

22:26 Yeah GTFO, suck it, bitch

23:06 Who is this? Fella’s hot

23:40 RICH. FASSY. WEB. TAB.

24:19 Suck it, Ross

24:30 Real footage?

24:41 Lol you suck Ross

25:23 RICH. SMOKING RICH.

25:26 Bill omg

25:45 Perco, baby, no. don’t talk to Johnny Martin. Don’t look at Johnny Martin. Don’t so much as think about Johnny Martin. He will fuck you up with his gaze alone, baby

25:56 Ah Luz

26:06 OK. That’s hot. Joe/Charlie don’t be hot. It confuses me

26:42 Winnix being husbands in the corner

27:42 YOU’RE in the wrong position, dumbass, it’s no one else’s fault

27:46 Dick’s come to save the day

27:56 Ross knows nothing omg

28:05 RICH. Even my Rich is confused, Ross, you dweeb

28:20 Lol at Dick dropping down ready for a fight

28:36 Fassy isn’t happy. That means Alicia Vikander is coming for you. Joe/Charlie is definitely not happy. Lip is upset. Think about your life, Ross, think about your choices. You know you’ve failed when Roe is judging you

28:57 Nix is like lol where tf is the alcohol tho

28:59 Harry! Harry is here! But yes, baby, you’re interrupting the husband’s foreplay, leave immediately

30:00 Lol at the Nix vs Ross staredown. Nix won

30:17 RICH. GUYS IT’S RICH

30:33 Do it, Lieb. Drop the grenade. Just don’t upset my angel son Shifty

30:40 He is a literal angel. Don’t corrupt him Lieb

30:59 Nix is having another crack at flirting. “Going my way” so suave omg. Omg stop. No wait don’t

31:09 “I’m not the intelligence officer.” Neither is Nix half the time babe let’s be fair

31:14 “If I told you I’d have to kill you.” Nix is getting better at flirting! He’s been attending flirting 101 classes it seems

31:40 They’re legit such husbands prove me wrong

32:00 He’s not joking, Dick

32:06 Harry’s like oh yay yes please

32:11 Lol Nix

33:03 Ugh. Men. I feel like that hold smells so bad.

33:09 RICH. Naw, Rich is sad he’s missing out on the flamingos.

33:32 Joe/Charlie you deserve a day to commemorate you tbh. I love you.

33:46 “My brother’s in North Africa, he says it’s hot.” Bill is iconic.

34:34 Lieb, honey, don’t, please

34:49 I feel you, random hot guy. Tipper?

35:05 Eyyy this place is nice, let’s all move there.

35:17 Shifty, my angel son, my baby <3

35:26 Yay, Harry gets a boss jacket too!

36:22 Mum and Dad of Easy. I’m low-key living for Lip’s little worried faces.

36:33 THAT JACKET IS SICK AS FUCK I WANT 20

36:38 The fence is there, Ross, because you’re so fucking dumb

36:51 Guys, look, cows

37:06 He’s fucking useless. Hi Simon Pegg.

37:22 RICH

37:25 This whole scene gives me life and waters my crop

37:31 RICH <3. YOU GUYS. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. RICH RICH RICCCCHHHH

37:42 Poor Tip is so done

37:58 Simon Pegg is so confused

38:04 Good job, Tipper, I’m proud of you and your pretty face

38:10 Iconic

38:15 Keep it together Tip

38:54 The hand signals, no, I’d be like BABY. WHAT. I CAN’T UNDERSTAND YOU WTF. I’d last like a millisecond in the military lmao. Does my country even have one? Tbh probably not. Us Kiwis are too chill, cbf’ed with anything. Too busy watching rugby, drinking, and sulking that we can’t afford houses cos our housing market is fucked. But at least we beat Covid *shrugs*

39:06 ILY, old guy. You are the best thing in this episode, aside from Rich

39:22 But wait, there’s more weird Americans hopping out yo’ bushes

39:26 “Bloody hell!” Mood

39:47 “You’ve done it now, yanks, you’ve captured me!” He is such a mood. I love him.

39:54 FUCK OFF ROSS. “Would that be the enemy?” “As a matter of fact, yes.” DICK IS SO VALID I LOVE HIM THIS IS ICONIC.

40:25 Be free, moo-cows

40:40 LAMO GET WRECKED

41:00 Guys imma be straight with you. I’m on my third whiskey lmao.

41:10 Simon Pegg, please refrain from being a douchebag. Leave Dick and his husband to flirt in peace.

41:23 I love how Nix is like instantly suspicious. He knows.

41:39 Worried husband

41:45 “Misspelled court-marital.” Iconic

42:14 Ross, why you lying? So threatened and jel that you gotta lie omg.

42:50 God Damien is freaking hot. Guys.

42:57 Punk bitch Ross.

43:22 Dick is so BDE. It’s fucking hot.

43:30 Ross is shooketh tbh. Punk bitch.

43:36 AH! IT IS HIM! THE GUY FROM LINE OF DUTY S5!

43:50 That underbite must have hurt FJH a lot omg so committed.

44:02 Hey Lip <3

44:09 Johnny Martin has absolute BDE

44:22 God they’re willing to be killed just to not follow Ross. Same tbh.

44:57 This whole scene is BDE.

46:00 But Sink has the most BDE let’s be honest

46:44 The respect for Dick. Even after what they just went through. I AM EMOTIONAL.

46:58 He’s so worried like omg what have my troublesome sons done now

47:09 ROSS WHY YOU ALWAYS LYING??

48:09 Weak

48:24 Yeah, fuck off back to ‘Murica

48:34 Legit, can we acknowledge Ross did a great job (the actor). Really really well done, one of the best performances on the series tbh.

49:48 LMAO GET WRECKED PUNK BITCH

50:06 Dick just wanders about a lot on his own, huh?

50:50 What? What? I understand nothing of what the cockney guy is saying.

50:55 Me too, Hoob, the fuck.

51:00 RICH I SAW YOU

52:19 “Never put yourself in a position where you can take from these men.” Don’t omg I can’t, Dick, I’m weak, I can’t deal with these fucking feelings.

52:36 DAFUQ

52:40 OHHHH I get it. Right. Dick, you’re so smart. It’s a little sad they have to do all that just to get some answers and guidance but tbh it’s probably fair? Gotta be top secret so punk bitches like Ross can’t screw things up.

53:30 Hey Nix. Speak French to me any day.

53:48 Unf.

54:08 LMAO Lieb, how many cigarettes do you need!

54:10 NGL I paused here for a little while.

55:05 We could ALL use some brass knuckles, Joe/Charlie. Mood.

55:25 LOL Lieb is so nosy.

56:15 Oh no

57:00 Luz LMAO

57:10 Oh babies

57:13 Bill LMAO that’s not ice cream, yuck it looks like soup

57:28 God. All that effort. Not just logistically but emotionally, mentally, psychologically, to prepare, just to have it put off. Fuck.

57:38 That movie again. Poor boys.

57:47 That’s actually a really smart move, Johnny.

58:41 Oh no. I would lose it completely. Oh Bill </3

59:11 Naw, Dick dawdling around again

59:49 RICH I SEE YOU

1:00:08 AAAHHHH IT’S TOO CONFRONTING DON’T

1:00:48 NOOO I CAN’T aw Bill

1:01:09 Naww

1:01:16 RIIIIICH

1:01:20 It’s like they’re kiddies on a field trip and Dick is the teacher wrangling them lol

1:01:47 Lol their crap is so heavy Dick has to help pull them up. That’s actually really sweet.

1:01:51 I wish I could hold Rich’s hand

1:02:08 Oh God. I can’t. Like he’s helping them up BUT IT’S ALSO HIS WAY OF SAYING GOOD LUCK AND GOODBYE AND HAVING LIKE A MOMENT TO CONNECT WITH EACH OF THEM I CAN’T LIKE THE EYE CONTACT NO DICK STOP

1:02:19 LMAO at them having to shove each other into the plane

1:02:23 That look between him and Roe. Ugh. Like. You two gotta take care of your boys together. Brotp

1:03:22 Can someone explain the block on that guy’s helmet to me?

1:03:55 I’m sad. And scared. This series is so confronting. I’ve watched in annually since I was like 16 and I’m still so nervous for them.

1:05:37 Rich, I see you! I recognized his chin lmao

1:06:16 God, Dick be careful

1:10:00 This show. The feels. Every time.

[damienthepious]

okay at least one of y’all guessed Scattered so CONGRATULATION, FRIENDO. also. jesus fuck i’m sorry i keep doing this. ONE more chapter. ONE more. I think.

Scattered On My Shore (chapter 18)

[Ch 1] [Ch 2] [Ch 3] [Ch 4] [Ch 5] [Ch 6] [Ch 7] [Ch 8] [Ch 9] [Ch 10] [Ch 11] [Ch 12] [Ch 13] [Ch 14] [Ch 15] [Ch 16] [Ch 17] [ao3] [Ch 19]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla, Sir Damien/Rilla, Lord Arum & The Keep

Characters: Rilla, Lord Arum, Sir Damien, The Keep

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin’ Tuesday, Pre-Relationship, (for the three of them. it’s established r/d), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Injury, Injury Recovery, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, (this will also be), Enemies to Lovers, (for damien and arum eventually lol), Mutual Pining, canon typical Arum ignoring feelings

Fic Summary: Strange things wash up out of the lake near Rilla’s hut, on occasion. But this monster… this monster is certainly the strangest.

Chapter Summary: The Lord of the Swamp has returned home! An exciting event for all who live there, certainly. Arum's humans want some assurance that he will still be safe, when they leave him to return to their own home.

Chapter Notes: There's some discussion of mental health, depression, and suicidal ideation in this chapter, mostly dealing with past events in the fic. Take care of yourselves! I love you! aaaaaa kinda freaking out we're so close to the end now aaaaaaaa im. not ready

~

They stay an extra day. Just to be certain that the Keep's influence and healing are truly going to stick, Amaryllis says, but none of them are fooled.

Arum does not feel as if their time together is passing correctly; every moment feels distinctly present, his awareness heightened by their closeness and by the Keep's consciousness at his edges again, but time rushes past with the speed of a hunted hare. Arum does not know how to dig his claws into this day and make it stay, if only for a moment or so longer.

When they pull themselves from embrace in the late morning, they eat together again (as close by his side as the night previous, and Arum feels warm from his core). After, they explore the greenhouse more deeply, and Damien recites something that bounces such with clever rhyme that Arum can hardly keep up with the content rather than the form.

He takes them outside, then, because they are curious about the swamp itself, and because Arum cannot seem to deny them their curiosities. He cannot seem to, he does not want to- the fact that they wish to know his home is so intoxicating a realization that he can hardly prevent himself from gripping their hands and rushing to show them every single thing that they could possibly have an interest in.

The Keep opens the way, letting them out at the front, near one of the wider ponds, and-

And the noise strikes Arum first. Instinctively he spreads his arms, pressing Amaryllis and Damien behind himself, safe between his back and the Keep, and then he blinks and realizes what, precisely, he hears. What he sees.

His denizens. The assembled masses of the swamp, flocks and families all gathered on the water and among the low foliage and up in the branches, the venomous monkeys interspersed with brightly colored birds, egrets and lynxfish at the edge of the water, frogs and snakes and chittering rodents, every single beast with a touch of his Keep at its heart-

They have amassed here, outside his home, and their rustling feathers and trilling peeps and croaks and squawks, their hooting and scuffling all slowly die off as each one of them turns their gaze upon him.

And then, after that pause, that silence, the crowd erupts.

It is a decidedly cheerful eruption, but Arum still takes a step backward at the sudden noise, pressing the humans back with him as the denizens of his swamp give one enormous, celebratory noise.

Arum can feel the Keep behind him, all smugness and delight, and as the cheering begins to subside, a suspiciously familiar bird alights at to his left, its head tilted to fix him with bright, beady eyes.

"A-ah." Arum stares at the heron, and he hears Amaryllis give a stunned, breathy laugh behind him. "You- ah. What did I say… spread the word if you must," he mutters. "I see you took that instruction quite to heart, yes?"

The heron chuffs, and then preens as if distracted, and Arum laughs as well as the crowd fades back to silence entirely, staring up at him with obvious expectation.

"Er- they seem," Damien laughs nervously when Arum glances over his shoulder to meet the poet's eyes. "Rather- rather exuberant, I should say."

"I mean, yeah, but can you blame them?" Amaryllis adds.

"No, not at all, it is simply- I was not expecting-" Damien laughs again, and this time when Arum glances to check his expression the poet looks almost shy. "It is simply that… I am quite glad to know that you are so beloved, Arum."

Arum blinks, and then he glances back towards the creatures amassed, surrounding. He sighs, but- he cannot quite bury the wry smile that curls his mouth as he steps forward again, allowing his cape to billow behind him.

He waits for a moment, allowing the excited tittering to die back down after his movement, and then he straightens his spine.

"I suppose the lot of you were eager to see proof with your own eyes, rather than rumor on wing." He shoots a glance towards the heron, who makes an admirable show of puffing up its feathers with pride. "Well," he says slowly. "You may lay your fears to rest. I was separated from my purpose by treachery, kept distant by injury, but-" his voice fails, an unexpected hitch in his throat, and he shakes his head quickly. "But I- I am home. I have come home, and I will not be parted from it again. I- I apologize, for the length of my absence-"

He hears the humans behind him make simultaneous disapproving noises, and he shakes his head again.

"It was never my intention to be kept away for so long." He grits his teeth. "It was never my intention to be away at all. Though-"

He can feel the slight tickle of heat, the radiant warmth of the humans behind him, the safety of their presence at his back.

"Though I will admit that the distance has given me a rather inarguable dose of perspective . The Swamp of Titan's Blooms will be reassessing certain alliances and enmities in the near future," he says in a growl, "but- for the moment, it is sufficient that I am home. I will not be torn away again."

The heron cries out, and Arum attempts not to appear startled when the assembly of his denizens takes up the cheer in response. He manages, barely, not to allow his frill to flare. It ruffles at his neck instead, and he grumbles as the noise fades off again. The heron squawks a question as he is opening his mouth to continue, a pointed inquiry, and Arum bristles, but-

Well. The question is a fair one. Arum himself barely understands how this particular arrangement is even possible.

"These- they are-" Arum pauses. He swallows, and then he half turns to glance back towards the humans, and then he quickly turns his attention back to the front as the looks on their faces break through his control, causing his frill to flare partway. The assembled beasts shuffle, slightly, but they do not chitter or call through his brief silence, and he squares his shoulders. "Amaryllis and- and Sir Damien," he says. At the edge of his vision Amaryllis waves, the absurd, charming creature, and he feels Damien stiffen at the further attention. He inhales, and then he- he reaches back, opening his palms without looking behind himself again, and before he can harbor even a moment of doubt he feels their fingers twine with his own, and they step up beside him properly.

Where they belong, he thinks.

"They are… they are my… consorts," he tries, eying the pair of them, and Amaryllis raises an eyebrow with a wide grin. Damien flushes dark, which- is interesting. Worth revisiting at a later time. They do not seem… bothered, that he would claim them as his, however, so he exhales slowly and turns his gaze back towards the assembled creatures. "They are honored guests, under my protection. It was their efforts which allowed me to return to you as quickly as I have. It was their efforts which allowed me to return to you at all."

He pauses again, and the creatures titter with varying levels of excitement and confusion and enthusiasm, and Arum sticks his snout in the air.

"That will be all, then," he snaps quickly, turning as the Keep dutifully reopens a portal for the three of them. "This has taken rather enough of your time- and mine. This absence will not be repeated. Return to your homes and lives and all will be taken care of henceforth, good day."

Amaryllis and Sir Damien laugh rather enthusiastically in his direction once they are safely hidden within the Keep again. Arum attempts to maintain a dignified level of fury, but-

Wretched creatures. Amaryllis snorts into her hand and nearly doubles in half, and Damien makes a noise that approaches a squeak, and Arum cannot help but fall to laughter of his own as he gathers them into his arms.

~

Amaryllis' expression begins to cloud over with concern partway through dinner, and Arum is wary from the moment he notices the change to the moment when she finally opens her mouth after the meal is done.

"So," she begins, and Arum attempts to stifle his instinct to bolt. "I wanted to… to talk to you about what happens after we leave," she says.

Arum ducks his head slightly, sighing.

"There is no cause for concern, Amaryllis," he murmurs. "I can apply some salves well enough on my own, and obviously you need not fear harm to your species from my hand, either. Provided no knights come traipsing through my swamp, that is," he says, gesturing lazily. "I have no interest whatsoever in returning to the same work that nearly killed me. As far as I am concerned, this war did kill me. I will not be dragged into it again."

Amaryllis winces. Damien's lips press tight together, and he squeezes Amaryllis' hand for a moment before she releases her grip on him, and shifts closer to Arum's seat instead. "That- that's kind of exactly what I wanted to talk about. Arum, I… I need you to tell me you're going to take care of yourself. That you're not-"

"I said, not moments ago, that I am perfectly capable of-"

"Not the injuries, Arum," she says quickly, and he pauses, narrowing his eyes. "I need to know that- that you're not going to hurt yourself if we're not here with you," she manages, and Arum feels his breath go shallow.

"Amaryllis," he says. "Don't- don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not," she says. "I'm worried about you."

"Absurd," he hisses, looking away. "I am home, entirely thanks to the pair of you. I should be the one worrying over you, going back into the wilds. I could not possibly be safer."

"From yourself?" Amaryllis says, her brow furrowed with worry. "Look, I- I know this is uncomfortable, Arum, but- but I know that you've tried to get Damien to- to-"

"What? Wh-what did you tell her?" Arum says, turning towards Damien, and he means to snap but his tone sounds more hurt than furious. Damien only sits, his hands clasped in his lap, his lips pressed tight together. "What did you say, knight?"

"He didn't tell me anything, Arum." She shakes her head, angling her body a bit more between them, leaning closer. "Nothing specific, at least, but I'm not stupid. I heard you goading him plenty of times, and he said you told him about your- your work before we left, and he said that if he killed you then, it wouldn't have been a slaying and really there's only one way to interpret that evidence-" she pauses, cringes, bites her lip. "You tried to get Damien to kill you."

Arum freezes, his mouth going dry.

"I don't know if it was because of guilt or- or depression or panic about the trip or what, but- but I already told you, Arum. I didn't put in all this hard work just for you to die. Just for you to throw all of it away-"

"I am home, Amaryllis," he manages in a whisper. "You brought me home. There will certainly be no reason for me to- to endanger myself now."

"No?" she says weakly. "There wasn't any reason for you to try to goad Damien into killing you back in the hut, either, Arum, but you did it anyway."

"I-" Arum glances away again, his hand flexing, but she reaches out and takes one of his hands, squeezing tight. His eyes flick to Sir Damien, sitting quiet though his worried eyes are fixed on the pair of them. "I- that was- different-"

"Different how, Arum?"

"I did not want you to endanger yourself for me, Amaryllis," he hisses, turning towards her with his tail thrashing. "You- you make the world less cruel, by your actions, your choices, your existence. The both of you. You try, if nothing else, and for you to leap to action and danger for my sake is- was-"

She stares up into his eyes, her hand clasped tight around his wrist, and he clenches his teeth and pretends that his throat is not aching.

"If helping me destroyed you, it would be the worst of cruelties I have inflicted upon this world. And I, Amaryllis, have inflicted more than my share of cruelties already."

"So you try to take yourself out of the picture instead? Arum-"

"The little knight did not bite when provoked regardless, so I hardly see how it matters," Arum growls, and in his periphery he sees Damien flinch, his head ducking.

Amaryllis' grip on his wrist tightens. "You do know that's not comforting, right? It matters because I- because we love you, and because if you die, Arum, you'll be dead. Even if you were trying to protect us in some roundabout way-"

Arum flinches, and she pauses, pressing her lips together for a moment as she visibly chooses a different phrasing.

"If you had managed to convince Damien to do it, it'd be cruel, first of all. He doesn't deserve that kind of guilt weighing on him. And second, again, you would be dead, Arum. You implied that you and the Keep exist in a symbiosis- what good would you be to it if-"

"Another would come after me," Arum hisses. "I am not the first, and I will not be the last. The Keep will always have a familiar, no matter my own mortal status."

"That-" Amaryllis makes a noise, small and uncertain. "I- okay. Okay, explain that. If you dropped dead right now, would the Keep just- generate a new familiar instantly? Would I be talking to your replacement in a minute flat?"

Arum flicks his eyes away again. "No. Don't be foolish, it doesn't work like that."

"Explain it to me, then," Amaryllis repeats. "Of course I don't know how it works, Arum. So explain to me why you would think that your death would be in any way an acceptable option."

"It- another familiar would be created, yes. They would require- time to grow, however. The Keep nurtures us from infancy. It would have a hatchling-"

"So," she says calmly, "obviously this is the preferred option. You can protect your home better than an infant could."

"But-"

"Would the Keep want you to die?"

Arum flinches again, twisting his body away from Amaryllis though he still will not pull his wrist from her grasp. The Keep gives a sharp, swift reply of its own, near discordant in its vehemence, and Arum ducks his head with a hiss. "N-no."

"I can tell you love the Keep, Arum," she says, more quietly. "I have to imagine that it loves you too."

"It-" Arum inhales, sharp and panicked, then exhales something like a laugh. "I-"

The Keep trills again, and then it reaches with gentle vines to grip a wrist on his other side, echoing the way Amaryllis is holding him. The contact is too gentle, and the feeling of the Keep's affection in his mind is too raw, too close, after so long missing the feeling. He closes his eyes, clenches his teeth together, and pretends not to feel his eyes heating, his throat constricting.

"Yes," he says in a whisper so low he is not confident that Amaryllis' ears will be able to discern it. "Yes, my Keep loves me." He swallows, then lifts another hand to grip the vine the Keep is holding him with. "It loves me," he repeats, a little more steadily, and if he refuses to open his eyes, then perhaps he need not acknowledge the wetness on his cheeks at all. "The Keep loves me, just as I love it."

Amaryllis makes a soft sort of noise, and Arum feels her hand- feels her thumb on his cheek, feels her gentle away the evidence of his ridiculous surplus of emotion. He waits until her hand retreats, and then he opens his eyes again with a sigh.

"You can protect the Keep and care about yourself too, Arum," she says quietly, and her own eyes are bright. "I just- I need to know you're going to be safe. I can't just leave, not knowing if I'm going to see you again-"

"If we are going to see you again," Damien adds gently, moving closer at last, arranging himself behind Amaryllis and reaching to brush his fingers down Arum's arm. "I know, Arum, that it is not so easy as to simply decide that the demons of one's own mind are conquered. It is not a matter of willpower alone- that is why we wish to speak of it."

"We want to help," Amaryllis says, her voice wobbling very slightly. "We want to understand what you're feeling, and we want you to know that we're here, and we care about you, and you matter to us. Even when we leave, even when we're away from you- you matter to us and it's important to us that you know that you matter, that you're not- you're not replaceable. Not to us."

Arum attempts to ignore the way his heart is racing, the way his eyes still feel too hot, and he finds himself failing when the Keep hums, vines embracing him as it echoes the sentiment firmly.

"I- I have- surely you understand that I have precisely zero intention of harming myself," he breathes, quick and harsh. "I do not want to die-"

It is only that sometimes, in the past, when he was exhausted past his means or when the creeping gray of his mind clouded him… it would have been so much easier. Only the Keep would mourn, and soon enough even it would be drawn past that grief by his replacement. Arum very rarely considered those thoughts, outside of those moments of darkness.

They are watching him, watching whatever must be playing out in his expression, patient and fond and worried, and Arum exhales very slowly.

"I do not want to die," he repeats, his voice coming steadier. "I… I can understand…" he sighs, ducking his head. "It is not unreasonable for you to… to concern yourselves. But I have been- I have been speaking with my Keep, since my return, and- and we will not be parted again, least of all by my own hand. I meant what I said, this afternoon, when I spoke to my subjects. If nothing else, my recent proximity to death has given me a rather jarring dose of perspective. I wish to live, to protect my home, to-"

Arum snaps his teeth together, stifling the words that wish to come next, but then-

His shoulders relax, and he allows a smile to curl his mouth. He need not hide such words. Not anymore.

"I wish to live," he repeats. "I refuse to die before I have loved the both of you as well as you deserve, and I imagine that will take rather a long time."

"Oh," Damien breathes, clinging to Amaryllis as she gives a watery sort of smile. "Oh, Arum- oh, my lily-"

Arum's breath catches, and Damien freezes, his jaw snapping shut in obvious mortification.

"Er- rather, that is- that was- rather presumptuous of me, of course-"

Arum presses forward, draping himself over Amaryllis as she yelps and cackles a laugh, pressing her back so that she and Damien both are trapped between Arum's chest and the cushions below, and then he nuzzles Amaryllis' neck, nuzzles past to press his snout into Damien's ear, nipping gently as he crowds closer, closer, warm and safe as he remembers again that they will not push him away, they will not scorn him.

By all the incomprehensibility of the Universe, they will claim him.

"My honeysuckle," he hisses into the crook of Damien's neck, and Damien gasps. "Mine- my love-"

It is wild, it is absurd, maddening, the things he is allowed- what they allow him-

Amaryllis laughs even harder, her hair falling into her face as she unconvincingly pushes at his shoulders. "You- you are such a-"

"I love you, my Amaryllis," he growls, and his heart swells as her breath catches too.

They have given him so, so much. They have given him everything.

He knows precisely the gift he intends to give them in return.\

~

The next morning dawns bittersweet, though the resplendent peach-and-gold of the sunrise does not appear to have been informed. The light pours warm through the portal when the Keep pulls it open to the very edge of the swamp, and Arum does not know how, precisely, to feel as he watches Amaryllis' posture stiffen and Damien's shoulders sag, when the reality of the parting strikes the three of them in the same moment.

The Keep presses wrapped packages into the humans's hands, bundles of supplies that should more than keep them fed until they reach some semblance of human civilization again. Arum suspects, but has not pried such to confirm, that the Keep has also stealthily added in portions of sweets, as well as other small gifts and trinkets, possibly some bunches of local herbs that it observed Amaryllis taking a particular interest in.

They tuck the new gifts into their packs, and Damien presses his lips together tight, flicking his eyes to draw down Arum's face, rather obviously committing his sight to memory.

"I don't…" Amaryllis sighs, and he and Damien turn their attention towards her. "I don't know how long it'll be before we can manage another trip like this," she says, frowning, and Damien presses a hand to her shoulder, his own expression going mournful.

Arum forces his expression flat, burying his nerves and his hope both. "It may not be so difficult as you think, to see each other again."

He's gratified when Amaryllis' eyes dart to him, surprise and skepticism on her raised brows.

"You better not be threatening what I think you are," she warns. "Magic healing or no, I do not wanna find out that you decided to take a big solo trip so soon after recovering, even if it means we get to-"

"I do not intend any such thing," he says mildly, suppressing the urge to grin, and he nudges the Keep in his mind to fetch his surprise. "Do you… trust me, Amaryllis?"

"Stupid question, Arum."

"Even if what I tell you will sound impossible?"

"Most of what you say sounds impossible," she hedges, narrowing her eyes.

"We love you," Damien says, a little tearfully, and Arum struggles to maintain his composure as the poet takes his hand, lifting it to press a kiss to his knuckles. "Of course we trust you."

Arum squeezes Damien's hand, and he knows his voice will tremble if he attempts to answer that, so he simply nods before he tugs Damien's hand to his own mouth to echo the gesture as Amaryllis rolls her eyes at the both of them.

"Good," he says eventually, when he knows his voice will come steady. "Good. Then- I have something for you."

"A present?" Damien smiles. "Oh, Arum-"

"I suppose you could call it that," Arum rumbles, looking away for a moment as the Keep deposits the bundle into his free arms. "Though, it is a rather self-serving gift, if anything," he adds in a murmur. "Here."

He hands Amaryllis the linen-wrapped ball of roots and soil, watching as she carefully cradles it, her eyes bright as she tilts her head to better see the dark brown sapling with the shining green and purple leaves sprouting small and fragile from the bundle.

"Arum, what-"

"Trust me," he says, and she shoots him a look, scowling though he knows- he knows that she will bury her curiosity for his sake. It will be worth it, he thinks, for the surprise. "Bring the plant home with you. Ensure that the soil is not lost- it is just as important as the flora itself. Place it somewhere it will be safe-" he pauses, breathes a laugh. "Perhaps you could find some room beside the Jungle Flame, out of sight of the kitchen window. If you can bear to clear the stack of notes cluttering the corner there-"

"Watch it," Amaryllis grumbles, and Arum laughs again.

"Give it a home," he says quietly. "Mix the soil provided with some from your own garden. Not too much- no more than half again. It will bloom quickly, when it is settled, and when it does-"

She tilts her head, calculation in her eyes as she commits his instruction to memory.

"When it does," he murmurs, "if you wish to see me again, all you need do is ask."

"If," Amaryllis snorts, and Arum ducks his head. "Yeah, dummy, if we wanna see you again- Saints you're ridiculous-"

"Oh, Arum," Damien murmurs, and then he- goes up on his toes and flings his arms around Arum's shoulders, embracing him tightly and pressing his face against Arum's neck. "Oh, I can safely assure you that my heart will ache with your absence the very moment we are parted, oh my lily-"

Arum returns the embrace, squeezing tight and lifting Damien fully off the ground, though he growls and glares at Amaryllis over the knight's shoulder. "And you call me ridiculous."

"You both are," she says, utterly fond. "I've got a type."

Arum laughs, and clings more tightly, and when Amaryllis steps close enough to grip his arm and kiss his cheek, it takes more strength than Arum knew he possessed to release the both of them from his grasp.

He does let them go, eventually, murmuring his affection close against their skin until they can no longer justify delay. He watches them leave, smiling despite the ache in his heart, despite the utter strangeness of being parted, at last, after so long beside them. He smiles, willing the Universe to grant them swiftness and safety.

The sooner they are home, the sooner he will see them again.

[->]

[gevejsbvdj]

Pt. 2

the continuation of what inspired my leave beneath the cut

I have a friend, who I got along with really well because we are both Afro Latinas (only she can speak Spanish. I don’t, not really) and we are black kids who had an interest in unconventional topics. I messaged her before disappearing about the ending of the server. I was keeping her updated all throughout, but after telling her the ending, I left her on read

I won’t disclose what I got up to during my absence. But again, don’t think that I had a breakdown because of the server ONLY. It was the final straw. I had so much going on in my life and I couldn’t take it anymore. 

Anyways, she took it upon herself to send hateful messages to Ley’s account and thought it was something to be proud of and told me. I...wasn’t impressed. But I still didn’t respond to our chats. Then she (her name is Rex. I’m gonna call her that) dmed Ley and was actually pretty aggressive towards her in an attempt to get answers. Again, not impressed but it was enough for me to actually come online. I feel like that’s why she acted out, to get me online. I don’t think she cared about me and used my pain to hurt others.

I had extremely brief, passing conversations with people who weren’t involved with the situation at all right before I messaged Rex. 

Ley was special to me before her message. I was always very defensive and protective of her like I was everyone else, but her especially because I thought she was nice. And I remembered when people were being mean to me, she reached out. And I still appreciate her for doing that. 

Which was why it was so confusing when Rex told me that they were all mad at me because I ACCUSED JOANE OF GROOMING PEOPLE. They wanted a reason to make me the villain so badly that they made shit up.

Notice how here, she says that I called Joane a FUCKING PEDO. Not even just a groomer but an outright PEDOPHILE. 

I’ve been raped. I’ve been sexually assaulted, groomed, all of that. I don’t say shit. I never say anything. I’ve even been accused- yes, ACTUALLY ACCUSED unlike Joane- to being a paedophile. I’m 19. Not even just that but I’m freshly 19. I got accused when I was 17. But I would never just- ughhhh moving on I don’t wanna get into it. 

When Rex asked for proof, this is way Ley sent her:

In this screenshot, I’m literally discussing how Joane’s childish behaviour could get her killed. I was concerned. Again, where’s the bullying?

Rex told me that Ley said she was wrong for not having proof, and I understand. Ley wasn’t present when it all went down

But really Ley? 

I heard a quote from someone that said something like “if someone believed a lie about you without checking up on you first to see if there was proof, then they were already looking for something to destroy you with to begin with” or SOMETHING like that. So I thought back to that quote and felt awful. I always suspected that they didn’t really like me, but always marked it up to my depression talking nonsense. But after all of this...maybe it was true. Why did I come out the most damage? Why were they making up lies about me? Me, out of all of them. Why was I consistently being seen as the bad guy overall? No really tell me. 

Anyways, this was Ley’s justification to believe that I would say such an awful thing:

Okay. Let’s just say that- Joane WAS a groomer. That she actually is a paedophile and I commented on it. She’s obviously not but I’m pulling a Ben Shapiro here. Everything else is the same only Joane is a paedophile. 

That motherfucking “it’s weird that he only spoke up when they were arguing” argument, and other arguments like that are so fucking toxic. As well as “well it wasn’t a problem that never came up before” so??? That’s what the fucking #metoo movement was all about. Timing means NOTHING when it comes to that. It doesn’t matter if it’s Joane or fucking Bill Cosby. The fact that thought came to Ley’s head is so fucking upsetting and DISGUSTING.THAT mentality is why people never want to believe victims of assault. Same goes for “they could have said that privately” guys she’s talking about that user who said they were uncomfortable with Joane coming onto him. Privately? It was private to him. In that server, we’ve made it known that it’s a very homey and comfortable environment. And who the fuck are you to tell someone where and when they can speak up about something like that???

Also, she accused me of calling her a pedo again. Good for me right? I’m a bully and I’m someone who just blindly calls people paedophiles. Good for me, damn. 

No, you shouldn’t believe someone right away when they call someone a groomer. God don’t I know that. But you definitely don’t say THAT what the fucking fuck. 

Jesus. Okay, moving on. 

Rex aggressively messaged Mel who had something similar to say:

uggh, you WERE the toxic environment i wanted to flee from,.

It hurts. It hurts a lot to see another friend you looked up to call you a bully. And that they just say that you called someone a groomer when you didn’t. 

Mel couldn’t provide proof either. 

Mel also tagged her post with someone kinda ignorant. 

Imagine if (thinking of someone I and others don’t always agree with) someone like James Charles made a post broadcasting all the homophobia he dealt with during his career, and I or some other asshole said something “while I don’t always agree with James…” like now isn’t the time. Now isn’t the time to let people you know you disagree with me ESPECIALLY on a post where you agree with me 100%??? What is the point then? You agreed with me, so agree with me. There. No one is saying that you have to agree with everything I say lord fucking knows I don’t always agree with you guys. fucking DUH. It makes me think you just wanted to put that in to lesson me and my words, even only slightly. Why? That hurts a lot, Mel. It really fucking does bruh.

When Rex called her out on it, she deleted the reblog. Not just the meagre little tag but the whole post. If she couldn’t be slick with me, then she wasn’t going to support me at all. It isn’t worth it if she can’t be shady. That’s the message I got from that. Tells me a lot. 

I am not friends with Rex anymore. She’s always been really aggressive and drama craving and I can’t take it. It’s impacting me negatively as well. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t somewhat happy with the screenshots she gave me. Told me a lot about these people I was still willing to talk to. 

Now? I won’t even waste their time.

After all of that. I made the post. The big announcement post. It was too much. I can’t escape the racism in my hometown or in the country in general, but I can leave and distance myself from the fandom. 

I was talking to someone today, and she, as a white woman, admitted that white people act so shitty when it’s implied that they’re racist. Which is so true. 

As I said, people make mistakes. No white person EVER is 0% racist or biased. I’m sorry but it’s not true unless you’re a baby or something. Same goes for other races, but mainly white people who have always had the upper hand, the privilege, the money, the chances, the power, all of that. 

Listen to me. 

When a person of color tells you that you are being microaggressive, biased, ignorant, or prejudice, or straight up RACIST, YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM. Why do you guys get so AGGRESSIVE AND MAD?? That is so fucking WEIRD. 

And yes. I’m talking to you Vulture. 

I really had no ill feelings towards you prior to your comments.

Or your posts. 

peep that clumsily used aave. never fucking talked like that to anyone but me. either way, you sound dumb.

Why?

Why so...mad?

You felt guilty? Why did you feel guilty? 

...I’m gonna let you answer that. 

Moving on. I know that not everything has to be about race. I hate making things about my race. I do, even when I should! But you can be racist unintentionally. Does that mean you’re racist? No! I have yet to receive a genuine apology from any of you, meanwhile, I’ve been over here grovelling and hoping that you like me again. God. Why is it so hard for you to apologize and move on??

No, in that same fucking server, someone sent a racist meme after joking about slavery all day:

And yes, the people in the chat at the time laughed at it... 

I told them that WASNT funny and they freaked out all “WHY CANT I TALK TO PEOPLE IM SO FUCKING STUPID I SUCK” like oh...my god. You guys make it so awkward being black oh my GOD. I- like it makes me never want to say ANYTHING but I know I have to but god what the hell guys???

I wouldn’t really think that the members of the server chat were racially biased if they just accepted the fact that they were micro aggressive and didn’t flip out about it. Not really, at least. That reaction is so- well it’s sus as fuck. People who aren’t prejudiced will apologize, correct themselves and move on. Not dismiss me constantly and DEFINITELY not freak the fuck out. 

I also wouldn’t assume they were racially biased if this SAME EXACT SITUATION DIDNT HAPPEN TO ME BEFORE. 

Yep! On the Beatles Amino, I was called a bully and was reported by the LEADERS. Why? Because I told a curator she was inconsistent with her rules… that’s it. And that was back when I was sugary sweet all the time and was deemed to be a cinnamon roll. Nah. They knew I was black and I got told that people were scared of me and that I was bullying people. Yeah okay. Messaging ONE curator about her rules is the same thing as bullying people. Chile I can’t. And it only happens in the Beatles fandom. But no when someone calls John Lennon a racist it’s all “Zach! Zach! Tell them they’re wrong.” Ugh...

So that’s that on that. I have nothing else to say. Don’t message me about this post if you didn’t read all of this. I’m an idiot and I’m honestly still willing you hear you all out but don’t expect me to ever want to have anything to do with you. Out of the what- 50 people from that server, only two stood up for me? And two separate people APOLOGIZED TO ME. AND THEY HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING. That’s a shame. Thank you Johnny, Lenny, Laurie, and Remy. All of your names rhyme and you didn’t make me feel like I was CRAZY, unlike those I mentioned. There’s so much shit going on in the world rn, especially to do with racism. I know that you guys know. But some posts really....really tried me. oh well. I’m black. I like The Beatles. And I’m a victim of microaggressions, false accusations, gas lighting. I’m also out. bye.

black lives matter resources

[swearronchanel]

9.08

wow i cant even think too busy crying

Reggie and Fred 🥰

Ok but is setting all this shit on fire in the middle of the street not some barbaric ass move or is it just me LMAO?

Trixie looks great as always, I still want the white hoops

NURSE CRANE AND THE WRESTLING LMAOAOAO GET OUT LOVE IT

that’s a pretty veil

Shot gun wedding time

This guy is hella familiar ?? Was he on Downton or something?

Poor Elsie

Val giving me sailor vibes lol

Phyllis gives me the vibe of older lady’s who chug beer and yell from the nosebleed seats at baseball games aka me in 40 years

How dare you say Nonnatus’ is unimportant mr tight vest LMAO

I love that Phyllis is making him a sweater LMAO why is it so funny to me

DISCOTECH, Sister Hilda is deff the “cool” nun

You’re telling me that poplar will throw a fundraiser/charity sale thing  for anything BUT to save their building??

Sister J’s voice breaking 😢

SAVE NONNATUS 1k65

THEY NEED RENT MONEY

Oh noo they’re gonna kill Elsie off today huh

I forgot Phyllis is a vegetarian, good on her I could never lmao

“Don’t go crying, not in all that eye black” 😭

Throwing up blood oh shit not good

Omg cancer of the esophagus? Jesus

WAIT HE HAS TWO BABY MOMMAS??? BIG YIKESS

SISTER HILDA SHOWING MCNULTY HOW TO DANCE LMAOAOAOA why do I love this?

SISTER PJ’s PAMPHLET “HOW TO DANCE SOCIALLy” LMAOO

“No one wears plimsoles to the discotech” 😂 plimsoles are like white sneakers right?

you really have to be an addict to wanna play with needles and inject yourself all the time 🥴 Issa no from me

The midwife with the curly perm 🤣

Ok I agree sister Hilda deff has a soothing voice. Her accent is very velvet-y

Poor Val this is so heartbreaking 💔Let me call my grandmas after this

Wow there goes my stream 🤬🙄

ok I’m back

“Every land mark I ever knew seems to be falling down” 💔

Sister J and Lucille comforting Val ugh this is too many feels

I can’t wait till this cheating ass mf gets caught LMAO

OFC Phyllis would be the one to notice the missing drogas

Fred checking his watch is a mood like he does not have the time for this shit LMAO

Councilor Buckle you better step it up LMAO

TELL HER PHYLLIS!

Sister Hilda’s voice is actually calming me rn LMAO ((my laptop has been stressing me out all day))

LMAO THIS IS IT OMG

HE CAUGHT

SMACK HIM UP MOMMA!!!!

HE DESERVES MORE THAN A HANDBAG TO THE HEAD HE NEEDA CATCH THESE MF HANDS LMAOAOOA

Phyllis is like what the fuck is going on here today??🤦🏼‍♀️😂

Elsie coming home 😢my freaking heart

Now they’re both gonna be in the maternity home OFC

Ugh I cant deal this hits too close

LET TRIXIE SPEAK

ALSO LET ME SIGN THE PETITION

“Oh no” LMAO ofc they’re put next to each other

NOW EDDIE SHOWS UP OMG GET OUT LMAO

“You’re loving her. That’s the only medicine she wants” stop omg my heart 💔😭

CTM don’t you dare make me feel bad for this guy lmaoo

Sister MJ 🥺 angel on earth

“The good stuff” is that not suspicious to anyone who doesn’t already know?

“She was here the night you were born. I recollect her” Ok I’m hysterical bye

Sister Hilda is underrated and I’ll keep saying it lol

Eddie with the 2 bouquets 😂

“I grew up arching women brawling in the street...but I’m not gonna fight you for him.” Remember the brawl from the pilot ep

YES TRIXIE YOU SPEAK!!!

“They gritted their teeth and that’s just what I’m doing now” ugh this is too much

I won’t ever have a baby bc Phyllis Crane can’t be my midwife so why bother LMAOO jkkk

poor Petra tho :((

“A memory like a firework exploded in my mind”

GRATITUDE LETTERS 🥺

GOD D*MN IT SISTER MJ HAS DONE IT AGAIN

“I was never more proud of you when I saw you wearing that [nonnatus uniform]” 😭😭😭

I am in actual tears and I can not deal

And McNulty is down

GOD SISTER FRANCES WHERE IS THAT VOW OF SILENCE BC UR NOT HELPING LMAO

The community rallying for Nonnatus we STAN 

ARE THEY SAYING “PISS OFF OF OUR MIDWIFES” LMAOO I CANT HEAR AND HAVE NO SUBTITLES RIP

“I prefer to be referred to as NURSE Franklin in a professional setting” YES MY QUEEN !!! TELL HIM

NURSE BEATRIX FRANKLIN SAID DOWN WITH THE PATRIARCHY!!

THIS IS THE MOMENT I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR !!!

“YOU HAVE NEVER ONCE CALLED US BY OUR NAME!! BUT DO NOT THINK WE WILL NOT BE MISSED IF YOU WIPE US OUT COMPLETELY” YOU FUCKING GOO BEATRIX OMGG WHAT A DAMN GOOD SPEECH!!!

BUDGET FUCKING RESTORED HELL YEA

for 12 months is that catch but you know SCREW YOUR CATCH, Nonnatus will go on somehow as long as NURSE Franklin has a say!!!

I mean at least for series 11 they have to make do somehow? We’ll see

NOOO OMG ELSIE CAN’T DIE WHILE VAL ISN’T THERE

I’m literally drowning in my own tears Oh my god

now they’re singing Amazing Grace might as well just rip my heart out with your bare hands 💔😭😭😭😭

Val with the ice cream cone ugh 😢it’s so sad

Reminds me of how I missed my abuelo passing by literally 7 mins. After a 5 hour drive, legit 7 mins late...

They tried to make McNulty go to rehab but he said no, no, noooooo

IM SORRY I NEED TO MAKE MYSELF LAUGH BC IM LITERALLY A SOBBING MESS

I wonder why they never bring up Patrick’s mental health anymore?  like he wan’t magically cured for life 

the “for now” sign on Nonnatus omg

LMDOAOAOA THE FIREWORK OMGGG

FRED THANKS FOR EVERY LAUGH

TRIXIE LOOKS GREAT AND HAD THE RIGHT IDEA LMAO

“I love you Nurse Anderson” MY HEART MAY BE REPAIRED, GIVE ME A WEDDING

Petra lost the baby aww poor gal

wow i’m emo but they all look happy during the bonfire 🥺

Poor Val is breaking but at least she’s got her gals

“Welcome the darkness, embrace it as a canopy from which the stars can hang, for there are always stars when we are where we ought to be...The darkness is beautiful for how else can we shine?”✨✨😭😭😭

She said more that I loved but couldn’t hear it all over the sound of my UGLY CryING

This reminds me of what Sister Hilda said a few eps back ugh I’m having too many feelings let me log off until Christmas 

[littlebitoffanfic]

Secrets part 2

Fandom: IT Characters: Reg, Vic, Henry, Patrick Relationship: Reg/reader Request: Awwww, this was cute. Stupid (reg, you're an idiot) but cute. A couple spelling/grammar issues but not enough to really RUIN the flow, just a couple hiccups. I'd love a "part two" where we actually see them walk into school holding hands+reg introducing you to the group. Oooooo... I kinda, also, wanna see how it all went down too! Like, the boys showed up and reader got shoved out the back. Reg said that Patrick went upstairs and discovered reader's clothes. I kinda wanna see Reg's thoughts from the kitchen scene onwards. Like he realizes the boys are here, kicks her out the back, he thinks everything's good, then Patrick goes upstairs and finds her underwear, Reg mentally freaks out before he explains, then the boys all "congratulate him on getting laid" and tell him they wanna meet her xP ... I just got waaaay too into this xD AN: part 1: http://littlebitoffanfic.tumblr.com/post/183504437734/secrets “You’re beautiful. “ He mumbled as he buried his face into your neck, enjoying the smell mixture of sex and him on your skin. The soft giggle that left your lips made his heart race. Not matter how many times he managed to make you laugh, he still took some form of pride in it. When you twisted in his arms to kiss him, it made his whole body tense up. He couldn’t even begin to count how many times you had kiss him but he cherished every one. Forcing himself to relax so he could kiss you back, enjoying how the kiss seemed to be a little more lazy and laid back than normal. It was normally a good sign that you were satisfied and happy. IN a moment, his world was perfect. But then he heard them. He snapped back from the kiss. They had never been quiet people. He could heard Patricks cracking from a mile away. Shit. His mind began to race as he froze up. He fought so hard to keep you away from the guys, but he never thought they would come to his house tonight. He didn’t tell them his mother was away and it was late. There was no real reason for them to come for him. He knew there was no point try to figure out why they were here when he heard your voice, pulling him back into the room. “Baby?” but then you froze, hearing what he had heard. Reg’s eyes fell on your appearance. Your flushed cheeks, the soft bite marks on your neck and shoulders that would have been gone by school, his shirt which draped off your shoulder and only really covered the bare minimum. He needed to get you out of here. Henry and Vic would be bad enough, but Patrick was something completely different. If they came in, saw you and even if they left straight away, he was sure the news would get around the school quickly. Sure, he would be fine, just getting a pat on the back, but you would probably be branded a slut. It was the way things worked at school. The guys gets the glory and the girls gets degraded unless theres already a relationship there and everyone knew about it. You were sweet and soft, popular to the point that you slipped under the radar of the gang for not being a loser but not popular enough for everyone to pay attention to you. And that’s how you liked it. He didn’t want to cause you any issues or to hurt your reputation. Reg did the only thing he could think off as he moved across the kitchen, away from you to grab some clothes. “You have to go.” Reg told you, not meaning to snap but he couldn’t take it back now. “w-what?” You gasped at him and he felt your eyes burning a hole in the back of his head. “Its dark and the middle of winter. It was fucking snowing yesterday. And im only wearing this!” You gestured to the top you wore as Reg started to pull on some of the clothes. “im sorry, I really am. But-“ He was cut off when the sound of the front door opening and Patrick called into the house. “Belch!” Fear flooded through Regs body as he did the only thing that made any sense in that moment. He moved quickly to you, grabbed your wrists and shoved you out the back door. Guilt flooded through his body when he saw the shocked and hurt in your eyes. he couldn’t take it, pulling the curtain across the door. It was partly so the guys wouldn’t see you, but also so he couldn’t. Maybe, if he had had more time, he might have been able to devise a better plan. But this was the best he could do. Before he could give any more thought to it, Patrick, Henry and Vic came into the kitchen. “We shouted on you.” Henry partly scolded but Reg understood why they were here. Henry had a new and particularly nasty bruise on his forehead and leading down to his eye which was blackened. His father had kicked him out again. “You want some ice?” Reg offered and Henry gave a single nod. If anyone else had been around, henry would have refused. Reg went to his freezer and pulled out a bag of ice. He grabbed a clean towel and took a handful of the ice, placing it in the centre of the towel. He wrapped it up and gave the cold bundle to Henry. He took it with a small nod of appreciation. “You’re mom not in?” Vic asked, glancing around. “No, she had to go away.” Reg shook his head. There was no point in lying. They would have seen her car wasn’t in the driveway. “Why didn’t you tell us?” Patrick whined, looking for any excuse to throw a house party even if it wasn’t his house. “She only decided to go today.” Reg lied. They didn’t need to know that he had known for a little over a week. “well then, I’ll go take a slash in the fancy toilet.” Patrick smirked, head to the stairs as Reg rolled his eyes. The downstairs toilet was small, having been fitted in an old cupboard. The upstairs bathroom, however, was big with both a walk in shower and a bath. Regs mom didn’t like people going to the upstairs one if she was in simply because it was right by the bedrooms and she didn’t want them sticking their heads in to her room. Reg leaned against the side while Vic told him about how Henry had nearly broken his window throwing stones to get his attention. the story caused some laugher from both Reg and Henry but then Reg heard that soft cackle from Patrick which he had learned to hate. Looking at the door to the kitchen, he saw Patrick was back with his hands behind his back. “You’ll never guess what I found?” Patrick looked at Henry and Vic with a raised eyebrow and smirk on his lips. “Belch’s mums pants?” Henry smirked as he joked. Reg rolled his eyes, flipping Henry off. It was a common thing between the group. no matter whos house they were at, it was vics mums dildo, Patricks mums vibrator ect. It was just a joke. “Well, I don’t think they are his moms.” Patrick pulled your pink, lace underwear and matching bra from behind his back. Regs face fell as he felt his heart sink. Patrick was right, they couldn’t possibly be his moms because you were so much smaller than his mom. They had also been on the floor in his room. The kitchen fell silent as all eyes moved to Reg. “Holy shit, dude.” Vic exclaimed, his voice showing shock and admiration. “Who is she?” “Fuck who she is. Where is she?” Henry asked, raising an eyebrow as his eyes darted to the kitchen table. “She left.” Reg chocked out, only because he knew they would tear the house apart to find you. “Without her clothes?” Patrick winked at him and Reg frowned. “No, she had a spare. Had to leave for an emergency.” Reg growled a little, angry and frustrated with Patrick who instantly picked up on it. “I just walked past your room and saw her clothes thrown on the floor. Not my fault you left the door open.” Patrick shrugged and Reg moved from the side to grab your underwear out of Patricks hands. “Congrats on getting laid!” Vic playfully punches Reg in the arm with a smile. “yeah, especially by whoever wears those.” Henry smirks, bringing the pack away from his eye to look at the underwear in his hand. “Thanks.” Reg couldn’t help but smile a little, however wrong it was. He was suddenly bombarded with questions from the group. “Who is she?” “Do we know her?” “Does she go to our school?” “Have you fucked her before?” “was she any good?” “When will you see her again?” “Can we meet her?” “Stop!” Reg demanded as he walked into the living room. They followed him and saw the small bag that was sitting beside the sofa. You had left it there when you had dragged Reg upstairs. He pushed the pieces of clothing into the bag and made a mental note to get the clothes you had left upstairs as well. When he straightened up, he knew he had to answer some of their questions. He considered lying, but then he remembered the day before. you had asked him if he would ever tell his friends about you. You wanted people to know you were dating him because you were proud of the relationship. You didn’t mind sneak about, but it would be nice to go into town together and go to the movies without having to go in separate. He knew you would be angry, but he decided that it would be easier to tell them now. “You know [y/n] from school?” Reg asks, glancing over his shoulder at his friends before turning to them. “the [h/c] girl? The one in your history class?” Vic asks, surprising Reg a little. Vic had always been the most perceptive of the group. “Yeah, its her.” Reg tell him, hoping the others knew who Vic was going on about. “Wait, [y/n]? Shes sleeping with you?” Henry raises an eyebrow and Reg understands what he means. You were hot, and no one would have put you and Reg together. You were the type that would end up with the football players. “Yeah, for a while now.” Reg nodded. “Why didn’t you tell us?” Vic protested, seeming insulted. “Because I know what you guys are like. Shes real sweet and I didn’t want you guys to scare her off.” Reg tell them and Vic give a few nods, apparently agreeing with him. “Well, can we meet her now?” Vic asks. “Shes not here.” Reg frowns, thinking Vic has missed the moments in the kitchen. “No, at school? She can start hanging out with us, if you’s two are a thing.” Vic looks to Henry and Patrick who nod a little. Reg didn’t like the smile that Patrick had, but he knew the others were genuine and would want to meet you. “I don’t know. If things are fine between me and her, sure.” He nods, and the group seems to know that whatever he meant, they probably wouldn’t find out tonight. He would go round to yours in the morning, try and sort things out. He just hoped you would be able to forgive him. -----------time skip (after part 1) --------------- Everyone’s eyes fell on the girl who had stepped out of Regs car. It was almost like you were some celebrity who had just stepped foot in the school. Many of the students knew you, but never would have expected this. Reg walked round the car, a soft smile on his lips. “You okay?” He asks, still unsure if you should be back at school just yet, but you nodded. “Yeah, never better.” You smile. News got around that you had been sick, but no one had put your sickness and Regs absents together. Until they saw you walking hand in hand with Reg into the school. Your heart was hammering in your chest and eyes followed you in shock. But as you looked up at Reg, you noticed he had a new sense of pride in the way he walked iwhrt you by his side. before you even knew what was happening, Reg stopped in front of a group. It took you a moment to realize you were standing in front of the infamous Bowers gang. You had walked past them many times, but normally your eyes were drawn to Reg who would smile a little when he saw you. You never really had to look at the rest of them. now you felt like you were standing in front of the firing squad. “This is [y/n].” Reg took charge of the introduction which you were more than grateful for. “[y/n], that’s Henry, Patrick and Vic.” He pointed to each one respectively as he spoke. “I guess we’ll be seeing a lot of you then.” Vic smiles at you with a nod. “I mean, you guys saw my underwear. There isn’t much more to see.” You shrug, glancing over your shoulder just to make sure no one was listening too closely. But you were drawn back when the group laughed, finding your sarcasm humorous. You took a spot between Vic and Reg and slipped into the group with ease after that with no more secrets.

[kim-seungmine]

i am you

title: i am you

characters: reader x seo changbin of stray kids

genre: slice-of-life, fluff, bad boy!Changbin, (sort of) enemies to lovers au, high school au

warnings: language, slight violence (fighting scene)

word count: 2839 words

a/n: I wrote this after reading an article of what I Am You is mostly about! The actual song may turn out different, but I really wanted to write this. Hope you guys enjoy, and don’t worry, you’re not alone. 

-

Seo Changbin liked to think of himself as a bad boy. However, not many people shared the same thought. To them, he was just an annoying ass. To you, he was just an incredibly annoying ass. Both of you attended the same music academy when you were in elementary school and your mothers had tried so hard to make you friends… to no avail.

You just couldn’t stand him and his antics; he really had a gift to piss people off. Your juniors at school really feared him, but you and your friends knew he was nowhere near lethal. At first you tried to befriend him (as per your Mom’s request), but you had long given up. Past experiences taught you it was easier not to deal with him.

Your classmate Yoo Jeongyeon tapped your shoulder, causing you to turn around. “Y/N, will you stay for study session tonight? We’re planning to skip,” she asked while pointing at Im Nayeon and Kim Yugyeom behind her.

Before you could find a way to refuse politely, Changbin rushed to your side, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “Y/N wants to study tonight, that’s so freaking obvious. Why are you trying to drag them to the dark side, Yoo Jeongyeon?” he sneered.

“Because Y/N is our friend, Seo Changbin. This has nothing to do with you,” Jeongyeon retorted. You glared at Changbin as you removed his arm from your shoulder. “You’re such a prick,” you hissed before turning back to Jeongyeon. “Sure, I’ve wanted to skip since months ago. Where are we going tonight?”

 -

You were packing up your things, preparing to leave before the teacher came. You started to regret your decision. Suneung* was just a few months away and you shouldn’t be wasting your time like this. As usual, Changbin always managed to embarrass you in public, and you always tried to defy him any chance you got.

“Y/N? Ms. Park is asking for you.” Yang Jeongin, your junior, stood by the door. Your eyes met Yugyeom’s, who was already cursing your homeroom teacher off. “Do you know why she needs me, Jeongin?” you asked.

“She wants you to help her with something. I don’t really know,” he answered, causing you to sigh. “I guess no escape for me today, guys. I’ll see you tomorrow,” you said, following Jeongin out. When you saw him heading to the rooftop, you began to feel suspicious.

As soon as you spotted Changbin at the rooftop, you could feel yourself exploding. “Ah. Thank you, Jeongin. I told you Y/N would take the bait. They’re such a teacher’s pet,” he stated, smirking towards you.

“Don’t you have anything better to do?” you scolded, knocking his head with your hand. It was something you tried to stop doing to him, but annoyance and rage always beat you whenever you had to deal with Changbin. Jeongin whispered a soft goodbye before running off, and you stared at his back with pity.

“Stop threatening that boy, he’s a good kid. And he looks up to you,” you added. Changbin raised his eyebrows at your statement. “You’re telling me he looks up to me?”

You sat beside him, wondering what possibly made him like this. “He does. You write good lyrics, you sing well, and you’re a rap god. Jeongin wants to be a singer.”

Changbin scoffed, “Now you’re acknowledging my ability?”

You started to blush, but you meant what you said. If there was anything good about Changbin, it was his musical ability. Well, he did well at school too, and he achieved that without really studying. How lucky.

“Okay, back to our original topic. Why did you trick me like this? Do you hate me that much? You don’t want me to have fun just a little bit?” you continued, avoiding his eyes. Changbin shrugged, standing up as the bell rang. “I did it for you. You didn’t want to skip, right?”

You rolled your eyes, hating how he could read you like an open book. “As if,” you snorted.

-

“Finish your worksheets, we’ll check them tomorrow. Class dismissed.”

Everyone in the class let out a relieved sigh. You glanced at your watch, mentally crying when you realized that you had to pull an all-nighter. Chemistry was your biggest weakness, which meant you had to spend all night long to finish all the worksheets.

“Y/N?” your teacher called. “Tell Im Nayeon, Kim Yugyeom, and Yoo Jeongyeon to come to my office tomorrow,” he said. You nodded, feeling Changbin chuckle beside you.

“See? I saved your ass,” Changbin said after your teacher went out. “Don’t be so proud of yourself. You skip study sessions like, 3 times a week,” you quipped, shoving all the papers scattered on your table.

“You know what Y/N,” he laughed, not taking your glare seriously. “I’m going to save your ass twice more.”

Changbin took out your Chemistry worksheets before shoving them inside his own bag. “First, I’m going to take you home. Second, I’ll do these for you so you can sleep.”

You gaped at him in disbelief. Changbin never spent time with you; the last time you went home together was during middle school. Now he just casually offered to take you home like you were best friends.

“Save it, Changbin. I don’t need your help.”

Ten minutes later, however, you were seating on Changbin’s motorcycle. “Will you stop smirking like that and just drive home?” you protested, circling your arm around his waist awkwardly. Changbin lifted his hands in defeat before starting the engine.

He turned back to look at you, securing your grip on his waist. “So feisty. Hold on tight, please. I don’t want your Mom to kill me if you get hurt.”

You pouted and decided to do what Changbin said. You expected him to tease you during the entire ride, but he was silent. He didn’t turn back even once, and honestly, it made you feel a bit lonely.

“We’re here,” he said when you arrived at your house. He helped you take your helmet off, smiling when he finally saw your eyes. You realized that he was also holding your hand, but your heart told you not to yank it away. There was something about this moment, about Changbin, that made you feel at ease. Things were always messy and upsetting whenever he was around, but not tonight. Not in this moment.

“Don’t cram tonight, I’ll do your homework anyways,” he said, the softness in his voice completely shocked you. You could only nod, walking absentmindedly inside. You looked back once again to see him waving at you.

-

The next morning, your heart nearly jumped out of your ribcage when you saw empty Chemistry worksheets on your table. You were ready to lash out on the sleeping Changbin when you spotted a sticky note on top of another stack of papers.

“Copy them. I’ll tell you how to solve these problems later,” it read. You stared at Changbin’s work in awe. He never did homework although he was more than capable to do that. To be honest, you woke up with so much regret this morning, not knowing why you decided to trust Changbin with your worksheets.

You made a mental note to properly thank Changbin later, hoping that he wouldn’t get too cocky about it.

 -

“Seo Changbin, wake up.” You kicked his table. Yugyeom looked up from the detention reflection he was writing. “Did he mess around with you?” he asked. You shook your head as you shook Changbin’s shoulder.

“Yugyeom you’re so slow! I want to go to that new ice cream parlor before it gets crowded,” Nayeon whined beside him then turned to you. “Why are you waking him up anyways?” she wondered, and you just shrugged.  

Your friends were now watching you and Changbin with concern in their eyes. “He’s not blackmailing you, right?” Jeongyeon added. “Changbin’s not like that,” you answered, causing both Jeongyeon and Nayeon to gasp.

“Y/N… are you… into him?” Nayeon whispered. “Of course not,” you trailed off as Yugyeom laughed out loud. “He’s just an attention whore, why would Y/N—”

BRAAKKK!

Changbin slammed the table with his fist, causing your eyes to widen. He bored his eyes into yours before grabbing his bag and left, bumping into your shoulder in the process. “What the fuck is your problem, man?!” Yugyeom shouted, only getting a middle finger as a response.

“What is wrong with you all?” you half-yelled. Jeongyeon cocked her head towards you. “What do you mean? He was the one being rude and all,” she said. You sighed, deciding that you had had enough of your friends’ behavior.

“You guys don’t have to be so mean,” you snapped, not giving them a chance to speak as you went after Changbin.

-

“Y/N!” Jeongin shouted. You were about to ask him who beat him up when he grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the school’s gate. “Please help me. Changbin hyung is fighting Bang Chan, and I think he’s going to die.”

“Who’s he?” you questioned, trying to catch up with Jeongin’s fast steps.

“Bang Chan,” the boy answered, and you immediately quickened your pace. He took you to an alley near your school, and Jeongin wasn’t lying when he said Bang Chan (whoever that was) was dying.

“Seo Changbin!”

Changbin stopped at the mention of his name, and Chan didn’t waste his time as he kicked Changbin in his stomach. “You think you’re such a hotshot, huh?” he hissed, throwing another punch to his jaw.

“Stop!” you yelled, telling Jeongin with your eyes to help Changbin stand up. “I don’t know who you are, but my friend isn’t in his normal state and I’m sorry. Will you… drop this? For once? I swear if he messes around with you again, you’re free to end him,” you said, staring boldly into Chan’s eyes although you wanted to cry out of fear.

He snorted, eyeing you from head to toe. “Don’t look at them like that you bas—” 

“Shut up, Changbin!” you hissed. Chan contemplated your idea, walking towards Changbin as he grabbed his bag. “Just this once,” he warned. “See you around, Jeongin! Don’t forget to bring more cash next time, asshole!”

Changbin let out a string of curses after Chan left, making you more furious than you already were. “I guess you really want to get expelled,” you remarked, lifting his arm so you could help him walk. He shook his head, shrugging himself out of your and Jeongin’s grip.

“I told you to run away, Jeongin, not to bring them here,” Changbin said to the younger boy. Jeongin fidgeted with his fingers, his head hung low. “Sorry, but you could’ve killed Chan,” he mumbled.

You shot a glare at Changbin for the nth time today, but all of you got was a weak smirk. “You can’t fight for shit, Y/N. Don’t do that again. You hate me, remember?”

His words made your heart clench. You never hated Changbin. Sure, he did annoy you a lot, but you never hated him. You bit your bottom lip; the awkward silence caused Jeongin to slow his pace so he walked behind the two of you.

“Jeongin, you can drive, right?” Changbin suddenly asked, throwing his key at him. Jeongin caught it in a trance. “Bring my motorcycle home. You can borrow it for today, but you’re dead if you dent it.”

Jeongin took it as a cue to leave, so he bid goodbye at you before running towards the school’s parking lot. Changbin shifted his gaze to you, his cold eyes made you shudder. “Go back to your little posse. You don’t want them to think that you’re into me, do you?” he said while trying to walk faster.

You ran up to him, wrapping your arm around his waist to hoist him up. “I’ll never hate you, Changbin. Now shut up and let me take care of your bruises first before your Mom buries you alive.”

He didn’t say anything, but you caught him staring you with a small smile on his face. For now, that was enough.

-

You sat Changbin down on your sofa, realizing that it had been years since he last went inside your house. He laughed at a photo of you two holding trophies. “I can’t believe you still have that,” he commented, looking incredibly amused.

“The only piano competition I’ve ever won, of course my Mom would frame that photo,” you responded while handing him an ice pack for his bruises.

“Y/N, let’s get to the point. Do you like me? Or do you despise me? Because one minute I can feel you melt at my every word, then the next minute you’re ready to butcher me. It confuses the hell out me,” Changbin confessed. You could only stare at him, thinking about the possibility of you liking him for the first time.

“I… don’t know. You sure are annoying, you get on my nerves. Well, you get on everybody’s nerves,” you rambled, playing with the hem of your uniform. “But it feels so nice when you’re not being so hard to deal with.”

Changbin tugged at your wrist, pulling you down to sit beside him. He intertwined your hands together. “Are you okay with me doing this?” he asked, and you nodded. “What if Yugyeom does this?” he continued.

You shook your head. “That would be awkward,” you answered.

“When I took you home last night, how did it feel?”

Ah. That moment. Now you slowly remembered the other times when you felt like that with Changbin. Comfortable. Safe. Happy. He had been around you for years, and while not every moment you two shared was pleasant, many beautiful things happened when you were with him.

But those things were buried with your bickering and small fights, with Changbin’s brash attitude.

“It felt… amazing. I was a little sad when you didn’t talk to me at all during the ride though,” you muttered. Changbin nodded, lifting his arm to wrap it around your shoulder. He tucked your head in the crook of his neck, and you immediately relaxed.

“That means you like me, idiot. For a smart person, you’re really stupid. No wonder you suck at Chemistry,” he exclaimed. Your ears grew red at his honest statement, and he ruffled your hair softly.

“I’m afraid of so many things, Y/N. I didn’t mean to be such a pain in the ass, but I don’t know how else I can hide this. I just don’t want to be weak,” he continued. You had this urge to place a kiss on his chin, but you refrained yourself. Instead, you snuggled closer to him. “Afraid of what?” you asked.

Changbin seemed to think of how much he should reveal to you. “Everything?  My future, my Mom’s future, my Dad’s future. My dream, my responsibilities… I guess the list is endless.”

“I feel less afraid with you, though. Much less,” he said, and this time you decided not to hold back. You pecked his chin, and then his lips when he didn’t push you away. “I’m afraid too, Changbin. We are all,” you assured him.

“At the end of the day, I guess we’re all the same. We’re all struggling and wondering when we can be happy,” you continued, trying not to blush when he brushed away your bangs as you spoke. “I am you, Changbin. So you don’t need to hide your worries. I understand.”

Changbin let out a very relieved sigh, and you felt bad for not being able to sense his struggle sooner when he could tell how you felt in a glance. “So, are you sure you want to give us a chance? You can still back out, you know,” he questioned, sounding unsure for the first time.

“Why would I back out?”

“Nobody likes me, remember? Your friends treat me like a virus, Bang Chan wants to end me, and the whole class hates my guts. All I have is freaking Yang Jeongin.”

You chuckled, cradling his face with your hands before pulling him for a kiss. You smiled as he yelped in pain when he wanted to deepen the kiss. “Your lip is bleeding. Let me get you another ice pack,” you giggled, pulling away to wipe the cut. Changbin shook his head, his grip on your shoulder only grew tighter. “If I say something silly like, ‘Kiss the pain away, Y/N,’ would you hate me?”

You ignored his request, but proceeding to pepper other parts of his face with kisses. “No, but if you keep being clingy like that, I’ll break up with you,” you joked, hugging him closer to you so you could hear his steady heartbeat.

“Changbin-ie is sad! Y/N you’re bad!”

“Stop it, Changbin.”

“As you wish, Princess.”

“I said stop!”

Changbin’s giggles and sweet laugh conquered your hearing, and while you didn’t know what the future held for both of you, you were ready. As long as this man beside you stayed by your side.

-

*Suneung: Korean CSAT

masterlist

[sevi007]

THE VALENTINE BROTHERS SEVI. I DIDNT THINK THAT JAN WAS SO /gestures/ THAT IN THE REAL SERIES BUT HE IS AND IM DYING. The freaking, Konami code. I'm so happy. And WALTER, BEING A BADASS YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Poor Seras tho..... Her bed ;u; give the girl her bed back.... (This has turned into a spam live blogging I'm so sorry;;)

Okay so I’m on episode 5 since ive been binging so hard and I am a concern its all gone to hell Sevi. London is fucked and i am worried about walter hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. vanwinke was really great tho. Also why does the scythe wielding person have to be a Nazi they’re so hot /sobs/             

HOLY CRAP THE MASSIVELY UNIMPRESSED LOOK ON INTEGRA’S FACE AS ANDERSON AND HIS CREW GO NUTS HAS ME SOBBING. Integra for biggest bamf alive holy he’ll. They’re a going nuts and shes just ‘having fun there I’m guessing?’ With the most bored and unimpressed expression. What a legend

Okay so has Maxwell always been this insane. Like. He’s literally starting a new crusade to murder all the people ever like. Im. The only one around him with any sanity is the little bowl cut kid that give him the papers. Alucard on that ship has me mentally singing back in black. He’s coming back to start a party. Also Integra giving zero fucks has me living. The cigar scene is so hilarious. They fear her power, too strong. And JFC ANDERSON, SAVAGELY BURNED YOUR OWN PEOPLE HOLY CRAP.     

Holy only did the scythe person invest all their skill points in illusion magic or something omg. And my girl Seras being the biggest BADASS!!!            

I now rescind what I said aboud the scythe person. No longer hot and I’m no longer sad that theyre a naiz. Rest in hell you sack of garbage. Stupid ass hand magic. You did my girl, and pip dirty. Also also, me @ this series in general: go to hell you did not need to do that to my soul. Why did you make me love these mercs and then do this to me. Why. Pip…. Why are you so loveable… I am also even more concerned about walter (I’m on ep 7 btw)      

Yep scythe person opinion is infinity rescinded. Gonna stab them personally.   

I am not okay. PIP YOU ASSHOLE WHAT THE HELL WHY. YOU JUST HAD TO GO FOR THE KISS TO MAKE THINGS EVEN MORE PAINFUL   

Oh wow Seras has a berserker rage mode holy shit and FUCKING DAMMIT PIP YOU GOOD MAN I HATE AND LOVE YOU YOU DEUS EX LAST SECOND AAAAAGGGGRRRRAASSSGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS SERIES IS KILLING ME                

 Maxwell is really just murdering everyone eh? While the major stand like a conductor on his blimp. I cannot wait until our home group turns them into mulch.                            

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DID THEY DO TO WALTER WHAT DID THEY DO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA        

Holy shit one million respect points to Anderson for calling Maxwell out on his shit. What the hell I love Anderson so much he’s such a good. ALSO THE BOY IS BACK IN TOWN THE BOY IS BACK IN TOWN /guitar solo/ It’s all gone insanse and im having the best and worst time hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhb       

Oh man shits getting real Alucard is about to to absolutely beast mode I can feel it. He’s saying the bird of Hermes stuff             

OH BABY HE HAS PEOPLE BACK FROM THE DEAD WHAT HOT DAMN IT’S ALL GONE INSANSE ALUCARD HAS EATEN SO MANY PEOPLE OMG. WHAT THE SHIT HES SO HOT NOW. You know I should have seen this twist coming, his real identity and all but like. They’re so different wtf. This has gone off the rails in the best of ways                 

Wow Maxwell’s death… Almost hurt????? Damn dude. Also Anderson is just. Really good. I love him so much now.    

Damn this fight between alucard and Anderson is so good holy shit and they’re having such fun it looks like??? This is so fun I’m loving it. Anderson has gone a bit nuts tho. And I have a bad feeling          

I MUST REITERATE, WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO WALTER. WHAT THE FUCK. NO.    

They should rename Anderson to the human slap chop at this rate. He’s so determined it’s incredible. AND HIS BACKUP STAYED AWWWWWWWWWW Aannnd I think they’re naruto running I am sobbing over this. Also i wanna punch the major in the face. Make him eat my fist.         

What the actual fuck is happening I don’t. I’m so confused and upset Sevi. Why did this have to happen. (Okay one episode to go I think)    

Everything has gone incredibly wrong and I don’t like it. Alucard and Seras are on fire and Anderson has just done whatever the fuck he did???? AND NOW ALUCARD HAS JUST GONE BEAST MODE??? I CAN’T. THIS SERIES NEEDS TO CALM DOWN.    

NO ALUCARD IS SOBBING NOW WHY BOO. DAMMIT ANDERSON WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THIS. ALUCARD IS A DEPRESSED ASSHOLE ANDERSON STOP TAUNTING HIM. THIS SERIES NEEDS TO STOP HURTING ME                             

WHAT THE FUCK WHY ANDERSON STOP THIS YOU’RE HURTING ME       

I am in pain     

WALTER WHAT THE FUCK       

FUCKING NAZIS BRAINWASHED WALTER OR WHATEVER I’M SO MAD

JFC WALTER WHAT KIND OF ATTITUDE ARE YOU COPPING NOW YOU BITCH   

WALTER WHAT THE SHIT ARE YOU DOING, WHY HAVE YOU TURNED INTO AN EDGY MURDRY EMO          

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW    

 Man Integra and Seras are a pair of badasses. I’m so set for them to kill the major. Also the high coat guy intrigues me. I wanna know what his deal is. Is he a werewolf. I feel like he is. Also what’s up with that long ass pistol. That can’t be practical. YEP HE IS A WOLF THINGY I WAS RIGHT. Alucard is just summoning a tsunami of blood now. Alrighty then. And now I am worried since the major is happy about that.

Oh damn the captain guy is a big ass wolf. And also, I am very concern about Alucard. PIP YOU BACK FROM THE DEAD AGAIN JACKASS I LOVE YOU GO BEST TAG TEAM EVER!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

THE CAPTAIN IS HELPING HIS FOES WHAT. THIS WOLF MAN IS SO STRANGE I LIKE HIM

PIP MANIFESTED????? THE FUCK???? IM???? AND THE WOLF GUY WAS HAPPY TO DIE????? IM???????? SHIT?????? THIS HURTS?????

Wow cheating asshole major with his glass box. I want him to die. AND HE’S GONNA DO WHAT?????? OH FUCK THE CAT GUY I AM A FRIGHTEN

I am so worried and don’t like this.

Wow now I feel kinda bad for Walter. I mean, I’m still mad at him but. I want to major to die. Can I stab him. Please

OH BOY I DON’T LIKE THIS

Oh no he’s stuck in different realities now isn’t he fuck

Oh no    

HAH AT LEAST THE DOCTOR DIED. GET FUCKED. Fuck did they desecrate a woman’s bones I am so lost now. I am too tired for this. DAMMIT WALTER STOP MAKING ME FEEL THINGS YOU ASS. I need to lay down this hurts too much. Everyone’s dead and I am in pain. And kinda nauseous from it. OH SHIT THAT ONE VATICAN PERSON WHO WAS SHOT DIDN’T DIE. SJDJDJSJSISUD INTEGRA LYING TO PENWOODS GRANDSON IM DYING. Fuck I am in pain. And-FUCKER IS HE BACK. STOP TOYING WITH ME SERIES. STOP THIS. I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD                                                                                                                                                             

Okay, so, for people wondering: That were 41 asks right there. Quick apology to mobile users, but I had to collect all these, this, this is awesome. Ti, you mad person, did you freaking watch all of the series in one sitting?! XD I love you dude. I just had the time of my life reading through this.

To point a few things out in answer to this:

1) Integra is the most badass in this entire series, you got that absolutely right

2) Walter was NOT brainwashed, a fact he was very adamant about. He decided on his very own that he wanted to betray Hellsing so that he would get a fair chance in fighting Alucard (something he had wanted to do for fifty years) since he’s a vampire hunter and Alucard is THE vampire, and Walter just… misses the battlefield? After staying a simple Butler for all this time. Millenium merely gave him vampire powers so he could revert to younger years so that he may have a chance fighting Alucard.

3) Yes you may stab the Major, go for it

4) The captain wanted to die, so he helped Seras and Pip out by giving them silver (kills werewolves) and laughing in his death. It seems as if he was immortal otherwise and had little chance to disobey Millenium, so he took the only way out he had.

5) The woman’s bones you see there in the end is Mina Harker, a character from Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Apart from Seras, she’s the only known woman Alucard ever turned into a vampire - also important to note that he loved her, to whatever degree he is able to. Because she drank his blood (which stayed active inside of her even after her friends somehow managed to turn her human again), it’s the only DNA of Dracula / Alucard that Millenium could get their hands on. They used that Alucard-DNA to make copies and clones of Alucard (all the vampire / ghoul soldiers you saw) and to enhance their other fighters (Rip van Winkle, the scythe guy, even Walter himself).

Ti I absolutely love you, this was such a rollercoaster from start to finish. XD Increasing amount of Caps Lock means you reached the end of the series. *nod*