#also if you have a favorite of mine i want to know what it is!!
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mae, congratulations on 8k and happy holidays ahhh!!! if you have the time, i could totally see something fun with tasm! peter and the prompt office christmas party. like coworkers to friends to pining and confessions? basically it’s giving jim and pam teapot, BUT i would love to see where your brain takes it
Thank you for requesting! Happy holidays :)
cw: jokes are made about Peter's appearance, but they're very, very sarcastic
coworker!(tasm)Peter Parker x fem!reader ♡ 639 words
You never usually wear red. It’s not like it’s one of Peter’s favorite colors anyway—he only really wears it for one thing, even if that’s pretty much every day—but he feels suddenly robbed having never seen it on you before. As if you’re not eye-catching enough already, your holiday sweater makes you the brightest thing in the room.
Peter goes to it like a moth to a flame. Though, in fairness, that’s your usual effect on him, sweater or no.
“Oh, wow, you lucked out,” he says, raising his eyebrows at your white elephant gift.
You look up from your desk, grinning when you see Peter. “I know, right?” You hold your prize up enthusiastically, like they’re the keys to your new car and not slippers designed to look like giant man feet with a bow slapped on top of them. “Can you believe I started with a bluetooth shower speaker and worked my way up to these? I mean, Christmas is over at this point. Everyone else can go home.”
“Those will probably be the best give you’ll ever get,” Peter agrees. He leans against your desk, careful not to disturb the pens lined up neatly by your laptop. “You really managed to land on a personalized one, too. Did you already know they made slippers that match your feet, or did you just find out today?”
Your shoulders hitch with a laugh, pretty eyes sparkling. Peter feels a warm tug in his gut. Any day he can make you smile is a good one.
“What did you get?” you ask him.
“Oh, mine came from the boss man himself.” Peter reaches into his small gift bag, pulling out his prize. “Check this baby out.”
Your smile stays in place, but you look genuinely perplexed. “A toothbrush?”
“Not just any toothbrush.” He presses a button on the side, watching your face as a song begins to play from a small speaker. Baby, baby, baby, ohhhh…
Your mouth actually drops open before you cover it with a hand, giggles muffled into your palm. “Okay, wait, wait. I actually want that one now.”
Peter hisses through his teeth, shrugging remorsefully. “Sorry, but I don’t think I can part with it. It’s too important to me. Anyway, you’ve got your slippers, and they suit you so well…”
“Right, but” —You school your expression into solemnity. Peter has to work hard to suppress his own grin, thinking to himself that you look like a contestant on that Shark Tank show— “have you considered the potential of these slippers in your love life? I mean, I’ve already basically got it covered with my feet, but Peter…” You hold the slippers up, letting them dangle from a single finger. “These could be a real babe magnet.”
Peter lets out a long exhale, pretending to consider it. “That’s true. I could use a little help on the dating front…”
“You could,” you say sympathetically.
“I mean, my looks on their own are hardly doing the job.”
“It’s not your fault we weren’t all born naturally attractive.”
“I am pretty plain…”
“Homely, even. But that’s alright.” You hold the slippers out again. “That’s where these come in.”
“Okay.” Peter feigns reluctance, handing over the toothbrush. “You’ve got a deal.”
“Yes!” Every hair on his leg stands at attention when you put your hand on his knee, squeezing. You’re smiling beatifically. “Thank you, Peter. This means the world.”
“Yeah, well, you’re doing me a favor too.” He sets his hand on top of yours, squeezing also. “Pleasure doing business with you.”
Your eyes drop to your hand as if realizing where it is for the first time, and Peter pretends not to notice when your eyes flicker up to his, the teasing in them giving way momentarily to bashfulness. He got the best gift today, for sure.
#mae's 8k#tasm!peter parker#tasm!peter parker x reader#tasm!peter parker x fem!reader#tasm!peter parker x y/n#tasm!peter parker x you#tasm!peter parker x self insert#tasm peter parker#tasm spiderman#tasm!spiderman#tasm!peter parker fanfiction#tasm!peter parker fanfic#tasm!peter parker fic#tasm!peter parker fluff#tasm!peter parker imagine#tasm!peter parker scenario#tasm!peter parker drabble#tasm!peter parker blurb#tasm!peter parker one shot#tasm!peter parker oneshot#tasm#tasmania#the amazing spiderman fandom#the amazing spiderman fanfiction#the amazing spiderman#tasm x reader#the amazing spiderman x reader
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Constant Companions Closeup #9: OBJECT OF AFFECTION
(also on spotify!)
O, wayward soul, I beg of thee an ear; Companionship, a Constant of desire, is all too fleeting. Would thee quell this fire? My love, do you know what you want to hear?
Welcome back to the Constant Companions Closeups - a series of in-depth dives into the songs off of my latest album, Constant Companions! Yesterday was some gay shit (Liaison) and today is some more gay shit (Object of Affection)
---
I'm usually pretty good about letting go of the things I make and letting them live imperfectly, but there is exactly one released song of mine that I've ever been actively unhappy with the final product of, that I haven't been able to let go of my displeasure with.
Honor Majesty, off of Autumn Every Day.
It's not that it's a bad song, or that it didn't have good ideas! In fact, I genuinely think it shares more with the music I make now than a lot of my older work does. Rather, it was incredibly rushed and full of uninspired choices I made for the sake of completing the song rather than making it the best version of itself, and it ultimately ended up falling incredibly flat relative to what I wanted it to be!
I really like the intersection of synthpop/electropop and fantasy. One of my favorite musicians ever is Baths, whose album Romaplasm is chock full of this exact thematic and sonic intersection, and it's so deeply inspiring to me that it still gets put on whenever I want to dream things up. I've always wanted to make things like that! Bubbly and fantastical, brimming with a sense of magic so pervasive it makes even the mundane seem mystic.
...Also I'm just a fantasy dork okay. I like wizards and shit. Sue me
I've been wanting to make a grandiose and fantastical story song for years, and my single attempt to do so felt like it missed the mark entirely. I did touch on fantasy a couple times on Bittersweet, but ultimately, when I started working on this album, I knew exactly what I wanted to take a second crack at.
---
The intended story in question here is fairly vague, but to sum it up as literally as possible:
A rebellious, disobedient, gender-questioning prince has mildly inconvenienced "his" royal lineage one too many times. Their solution is to invoke magicks widely regarded as heretical - what's a fantasy monarchy without some hypocrisy - to seal their "son's" soul within an automaton body, rendering "him" a perfect, subservient doll.
This doll is promptly spirited away under cover of darkness by a mage, and is granted free will once again. She experiences the crushing weight of newfound self-awareness and nearly spirals out of control, before realizing the mage who saved her is the same - a doll. It turns out being a magical-mechanical construct has its perks if you are TRANSGENDER. then they overthrow the monarchy and fuck nasty or whatever idk this is where the story gives way to things like "metaphor"
this is a song about artifice and being transgender
Seriously, though, I know that being an electronic-music-producing transgender lesbian with a thing about dolls or robots or whatever is a major endless-store-shelves-of-identical-buzz-lightyear-action-figures moment on my part, but dammit, I own a copy of Logic Pro and a genuine leather wizard hat, I inject estrogen into my stomach fat every Wednesday, and I think ball joints are cute. I'm posting this on Tumblr, for gods sake, I am unconcerned as an active choice
---
With the exception of Liaison, the entirety of Constant Companions utilizes only three unique vocal synth characters - ANRI, Gumi, and Teto. This trifecta was born organically from simply being the vocal synths I enjoy using the most, and in this song, I wanted to use all three of them almost like one single singer, freely shifting intonation based on the context. I messed with this idea before on Ballroom, my voice meshing and melting into Gumi V3's voice, but it felt especially appropriate for this context; Plus, I feel like there aren't a lot of examples of vocal synths being used/recontextualized in this way, and that's a shame in my opinion!!
I really want to do more story-driven songwriting like this in the future as well. Now that I'm a bonafide VocaloP I've been floating the idea of doing a song series with this trio... I'm mostly just worried I'll want to get too ambitious with it.
Off the top of my head, Object of Affection references at least eight other songs of mine - Honor Majesty is an obvious one, but it also directly samples parts of Autumn Every Day, and lyrically references genuinely just a bunch of things. I'm probably forgetting some, even!
I know I'm the Leitmotif Lover, but it's a lot even by my standards. However, this song's entire existence already served to satisfy a fairly self-indulgent desire, and these days, I don't deal in half measures. I think the final product serves as a lovely little look back at where I've come from, though, and perhaps even a little glimpse into the future!
That all being said, Object of Affection in some sense is also a love letter to a beloved part of my creative process - the voice memo. A lot of the audio I've provided with these posts have been recordings off my phone for good reason! Not only are the chops at the beginning of the song entirely comprised of edited recordings I got on my phone, but the sample at the very end happens to be from a particularly legendary recording, never before heard by the public...
Until now. I present to you an excerpt from "the worst beat on planet earth", featuring none other than unit.0.
That's about it for today!! If you have any questions, I'll gladly answer them below, but otherwise, I'll be back here tomorrow to talk about this album's title track laid askew - My Darling, My Companion!
#music#jamie paige#Bandcamp#constant companions#behind da scenes#im not good at writing iambic pentameter
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ditsy!reader with player!chris and matt with adhd!reader double date fic? 🫣🫣
It was supposed to be a simple night out — dinner at a local Italian spot followed by mini-golf. Chris had suggested it on a whim, wanting an excuse to hang out with Matt after not being able to see him for so long. Both of the brothers always being busy with with own things — but also being busy with their own girls.
But neither Chris nor Matt were prepared for the chaos that was going to unfold once the four of them were together. The minute angel and star met, it was as if the world around them didn’t exist whatsoever — everything, including Chris and Matt, had been drowned out. The girls being sucked into their own little world with just them.
“Oh my gosh, I love your nails!” angel squealed with excitement, grabbing stars hand to inspect her bright, multicolored manicure that was slightly chipping away at a few of her fingers.
“Thanks! I did them last night because I got bored, but now I can’t stop picking at them,” she replied, holding up her other hand to show a chipped thumbnail. “I do the same thing!” angel gasped. “Like, the second one nail chips, I just have to take them all off. It’s so bad.” and star quickly nodded her head in agreement.
Matt and Chris exchanged a glance as the two of them launched into a full-blown conversation about nail polish, fidget toys, and a completely unrelated tangent about their favorite snacks. The boys heads shaking as grins tugged at their lips — this was going to be a long night.
Later at dinner, angel and star kept their conversations going. Talking about random topics, or ping ponging off of one another as they each said something. Though, when the waitress had approached the table — Chris had to get angels attention.
He nudged her arm. “You’re up,” Chris said, nodding toward the server who had arrived to take their orders when angels attention turned to him.
“Oh! Uh, can I get the, um…” angel trailed off, squinting at the menu like it was written in a foreign language. “Wait, what’s a caprese salad? Is that the one with cheese?” you gasped.
“Yes,” the server replied, looking mildly amused. “Oh, I love cheese! I’ll take that, please,” angel decided, handing the menu over.
Then star clapped her hands. “Oh, if you’re getting that, then I’ll get the spaghetti! Wait, no, the lasagna — no, wait, the spaghetti!” She paused, looking at Matt in a panic. “Which one do you think I’d like more?” and Matt just chuckled softly. “The spaghetti, babe. You always steal mine when I get it.” he stated softly.
“You’re so right. Spaghetti it is!” she announced triumphantly, handing her menu over to the server as well. Chris pinched the bridge of his nose, but there was a tiny smirk playing on his lips. “You good, angel?” he asked her, his voice teasing.
“Yep! Oh, wait! Do they have garlic bread?” she asked, flipping the menu back open even though the server had already walked away. “They’ll bring it,” Chris reassured her, leaning back in his chair. “Don’t worry, I got you.”
When the food had finally arrived, it was hard for either boy to think or focus on their food as the pair of girls continued to talk.
Chris poked at his lasagna, watching as angel animatedly recounted a story about the time she accidentally put dish soap in the dishwasher. Matt was equally quiet, a fond smile tugging at his lips as he listened to star explain how she once stayed up until 3 AM organizing her bookshelf by color, only to rearrange it by genre the next day.
By the time the dessert arrived, angel and star had bonded over everything from their mutual fear of spiders to the oddly specific way they both folded your socks.
Chris’ eyes flicked over to Matt. “Do you think they even know we’re here?” he muttered, leaning toward him slowly. Matt shook his head, laughing under his breath. “Probably not. But, honestly? It’s kind of nice seeing them so happy.”
Chris glanced at angel, the way her eyes sparkled as she giggled at something star had said. His smirk softened into something more genuine. “Yeah,” he admitted. “It is.”
Later, at mini-golf, angel and star proved to be just as chaotic as they were at dinner. Instead of competing, they decided to work together to make the “ultimate trick shot,” which mostly involved them both giggling uncontrollably as their golf balls ricocheted off every obstacle.
“Okay, okay, this time I’m gonna hit it super hard, and it’s totally gonna go in,” angel said, lining up her shot. Star had quickly stopped her, “Wait! Let me record it!” she said, fumbling with her phone. “This is gonna go viral, I swear.” she joked as she bounced on the balls of her feet.
Chris and Matt stood off to the side, arms crossed as they watched the spectacle unfold. “Should we help them, or…?” Matt asked, his question trailing off as he just watched the curiously.
Chris chuckled, watching the same scene unfold in front of him. “Nah,” he replied, shaking his head. “Let them do their thing.”
As the two of them finally managed to sink the ball — on the 14th try — Chris couldn’t help but laugh at the way angel high-fived star like they’d just won the Olympics.
“Alright, angel, let’s see if you can do that again on the next hole,” Chris teased, pulling her into his side as she walked to the next course. “Challenge accepted!” she declared, grinning up at him.
Matt glanced at star, who was already distractedly trying to read the mini-golf rulebook like it was the most fascinating thing in the world — when really it wasn’t, it just gave her something to do besides talking to angel.
Matt walked beside Chris, leaning into him a little as he kept his gaze on star. “Think they’ll ever run out of things to talk about?” he asked Chris.
Chris smirked, watching angel skip up toward star, shaking his head. “Not a chance.”
© strnilolover
#ᯓ★ strnilolover#ᯓ★ strnilolover player!chris#ᯓ★ strnilolover ditsy!reader au#ᯓ★ strnilolover adhd!reader au#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo imagine
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P.AI.nter is SUCH an interesting character to me... he's probably become one of my all time favorites, as I haven't fixated on a character this hard since since...TMC. It physically hurts to think about it in the best way possible-
That being said, I have SO MANY THOUGHTS to say about 'em... so I'm going to dump them here.
First and formost, it's so interesting that P.AI.nter has such a wide array of emotions when it comes to attacking and interacting with the Expendables. At first it's strange, like "WTF?? You're trying to kill me and you just yelled how I was boring, wdym you're sorry??" But... knowing his lore and backstory, it makes so much sense.
P.AI.nters creator was gunned down on accident by Urbanshade, which upon the discovery of P.AI.nter, then decided to trap him in a harddrive and make it mine whats essenically crypto at the Hadal Site- For years, it's stuck mining for the company unwillingly, unable to draw the lanscapes it loved. For fucks sake, P.AI.nter tried to FRY HIS CIRCUTS just to get out. He's desprate, miserable and lonely, and just wants to escape- Any way possible.
And so when Sebastian comes reeks his havoc on the site and finds it, P.AI.nter is incredibly trusting of him to get them both out. Maybe alittle too trusting, but whats he got left to loose? They've both been used by the company and want nothing more to leave, leave and never return. So when Sebastian connects it to the servers- to the Navi-Path & Turrets and tells him to stop the Expendables, P.AI.nter does.
However.
This is self preservation down here. P.AI.nter of course, is rightfully angry at times. I mean- The same company that killed it's creator before his very (nonexistant) eyes, trapped it down here, and even sucked the joy he has from creating art away is now actively getting in the way of the freedom he yearns for. But at the same time... this isn't something done that it entirely wants to be doing. Like I said. This is self preservation. And his actions, and even your deaths weigh heavy. Theres a voiceline, and its delievered so well- Of P.AI.nter pleading for the player to wake up and apologizing profusely if it kills you.
That line sparked this whole theory in the first place.
Your death, reminds it of his creator.
Isn't it ironic how it's now manning the very same weapon that killed the one who brought him sentience in the first place? That he's now the one at fault? Thats gotta be on the back of his mind each and every time it leads an expendable to their demise.
This isn't personal.
He doesn't know who you are.
But it still hurts.
It really annoys me when people in the community call P.AI.nter two faced, or god forbid, do the shitty thing of saying in a derogatory manner that he's bipolar or such as a "joke". Thats just disrespectful to both the character and folks who do have it. It's just plain rude. People do something similar for Sebastian, saying that oh, they're ruining his character by making him mean and snarky and whatnot. I know this happens in every fandom out there, and that this rant is fruitless, but... people need to understand that characters like P.AI.nter and Sebastian have reasons behind their actions and have existing trauma that if you take a moment to look at, you can go "Wowie! Thats a complex character! Everything makes so much sense now, like a puzzle peice I can see traces of in their character in almost every aspect!" Rather than doing awful things like I brought up at the start. But... I digress. I know this rant wont change much so. I hope y'all enjoyed my mini character analysis
Anyway this video has all of P.AI.nters voicelines if 'ya wanna go have a listen after this :] also I got plenty more thoughts about P.AI.nter and Sebastian if anyone wants to know!
youtube
#pressure#roblox pressure#p.ai.nter pressure#P.ai.nter#Rant#character analysis#sebastian solace#<- ? I guess because the rant mentioned him lol but.#Youtube
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──── ୨ৎ THE BOOK CLUB — GRAYSON HAWTHORNE + READER ‧₊˚
a/n: pt two here we are!!! do i have any idea where this plot is going??? no. but you're along for the ride bitches so enjoy!! also if this is shit its bc im sleep deprived :)
[part one] i'm a fan
"it all happened so fast. everyone was happy... and then something happened... and now... now he's dead!" alya sobs from her spot on the couch.
"did you just spoil the book we're all reading together??" kira shrieks from her position on the mattress.
"i think the bitch actually just spoiled the entire book," pheobe rolls her eyes from underneath her blanket on the mattress next to kira's.
"oh come on you knew something like this was gonna happen!"
"yeah but i wasn't expecting it to be screamed aloud while i'm halfway through," kira says exasperated. "i mean please its not even five thirty yet, we got here an hour ago, how are you already finished?"
"alya, this is why we don't come over anymore," pheobe groans. "none of us were expecting that and now you've spoiled it."
"oh cry about it, i'm moving onto my next book anyway, does anyone want some snacks while i'm in the kitchen?" alya smiles nodding her head when kira requests some food and a bottle of water.
"so we're clearly never having a book club sleepover again guys," you say looking at the camera.
"no we're gonna have another," pheobe says shuffling over into the frame. "alya's just not invited."
────
yn.books
liked by alya.green, maxine.liu.loo, pheobethereader, kirasbooknook, graysonhawthorne and 672, 983 others
yn.books the book girlies unite!! for a sleepover a trip and a readathon (alya will not be invited back) stay tuned for the yt video!
tagged: alya.green, pheobethereader, kirasbooknook
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alya.green I AM OFFENDED
kirasbooknook good
pheobethereader had a lovely time with you girls can't wait to do it again (except for you alya)
alya.green u guys are so mean wtf
user1 im desperate to know why alya's in trouble lmaooo
user2 and im desperate to know why grayson is still in the likes
user3 THE GIRLIES ARE IN TEXAS I SAW THEN TODAY AND ASKED FOR A PHOTO!!!!
user4 they're in texas you say 😏😏
user5 divine rivals crushed me oh my goshhhh
graysonhawthorne divine rivals was a enticing read, thank you for the recommendation.
user6 ok so i died-
user7 OH OH OK SO WTF WHO WAS GONNA TELL ME GRAYSON IS HERE???
maxine.liu.loo the book girlies are together again!!! (invite me next time)
yn.books already done ;)
────
"they're mine," max's voice snips through the quiet of the room. she's staring directly at grayson and clearly referring to the book girls she watches.
"i'm not trying to steal anyone," grayson tries to reassure her.
"you're obsessed with my favorite one! why couldn't you have gone for pheobe or kira?" max huffs, you were her favorite. grayson had no right to become - rightfully - infatuated with you, and no matter how much he tries to deny it everyone can see he likes you. its painfully obvious.
"again i'm not stealing anyone, i've interacted like three times with-"
"grayson! the girl you're obsessed with posted another youtube video," jameson's extremely loud voice cuts through the room and emits a groan from grayson.
"i'm not obsessed with anyone," he says rising from his spot on the couch and picking up ruthless vows, which by the way he definitely went out and bought after he read divine rivals. what? he wanted to know what happened.
"oh my gosh they're in texas!!!" max screeches clearly watching the video. "they're in texas for a red carpet that they've been invited to!" she pauses watching for more conext. "they been invited to ask the people on the red carpet about books! oh my god- XANDER. we have to go to this event oh my gosh please?"
"sure and you can bring grayson along so he can officially join the book club, and meet his new idol," jameson smirks from the doorway
grayson responds by flipping him off.
────
graysonhawthorne
liked by thehawthorneheiress, ticking.time.bomb, yn.books, kirasbooknook and 4, 892, 647 others
graysonhawthorne a nice day out
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user1 i need him religiously
user2 NO BOOK THIS TIME???
user3 oh he is scrumptious isn't he
ticking.time.bomb i saw you obsessing over what photos to choose in case a certain someone saw this gray.....
user4 PLS TELL ME ITS WHO I THINK IT IS
thexanderhawthorne oh it is...
user4 OH MY GODDDD
user5 IN THE LIKES LOOK WHOS IN THE LIKES!!!!!!
user6 they're so into each other
alya.green we gotta catch up and talk about this whole situation buddy boy
user7 ALYA 😭💀
user8 i need him to go to the red carpet so they can meet!!!
────
maybe grayson should go to that red carpet... i mean he was invited. whats the worst that could happen?
𐔌 . ⋮ 🏷️ tags .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱
@arqbella, @midiosaamor, @maybxlle @reminiscentreader, @sweetreveriee
@elysianwayy77 @tornqdowarnings, @catapparently, @zenikswaffleshop, @thelov3lybookworm
#ems writes ᯓ★#the inheritance games#the hawthorne legacy#the final gambit#the brothers hawthorne#the grandest game#grayson hawthorne#grayson davenport hawthorne#grayson hawthorne x fem!reader#grayson hawthorne x y/n#grayson hawthorne x you#grayson hawthorne x reader#grayson x reader#tig#thl#tfg#tbh#tgg
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miserable (you & me) | h. hyunjin <3
a/n: i have had these blurbs in my drafts FOREVER. "miserable (you & me)" is a song i've had on repeat since it dropped. i'm also a sucker for angst, so please enjoy these self-indulgent posts (they all have happy endings, i promise!) there will be one for each member, so stay tuned <3 pics not mine~
content: angst, happy ending | wc: 1k | warnings: none really! | pairing: hyunjin x gn!reader | requests:open
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
난 가망이 없는 미래에 손을 뻗어 날 부었네 / “i stretched out my hand towards a hopeless future and poured myself out”
of course it would be raining right now. the day’s weather had been normal, a smattering of clouds above and an overcast glow hinting that the weather might take a turn for the worse, but nothing was set in stone. that turned out to be true in a more literal sense, hyunjin realized, while watching people mill about on the street below with freshly opened umbrellas. he scoffed. what did you think would happen? what did you think would change?
the answer was nothing. but i had no choice.
you and hyunjin met up for your usual weekend get-together, returning to a favorite drink spot of yours after a few weekends of schedules keeping you apart. he had missed you so dearly, something that became achingly clear when his whole body lit up from seeing your face peek through the entrance. you noticed the buzz in his body when he greeted you, a sweet laugh escaping your lips. hyunjin’s heart melted at the sound, collapsing even more into endearment when you said, “i missed you a ton, too.”
a moderate number of people took up the tables and seats in the building, so there was a comfortable hum of casual conversation surrounding you. hyunjin, as always, was so closely tuned into the sound of your voice, he would’ve believed you if you said the place was completely empty. it was clichéd for sure, but he was enraptured by every single thing you said. he loved listening to all your thoughts, stories, jokes, anecdotes; whatever you were willing to share with hyunjin, he’d accept with open and grateful hands. you both laughed as you finished telling him an embarrassing story your friend shared with you the other day, and, so you could take a sip of your drink, you asked hyunjin, “how are you?”
without skipping a beat, hyunjin answered, “i’ve liked you for the longest time.”
seeing as that was quite the unexpected answer to your question, you froze. your brain buffered, face showing barely any expression, except maybe shock or confusion. hyunjin, perhaps realizing what just occurred, reacted with wide eyes and frantic apologies. if his confession hadn’t stopped you so sharply in your tracks, the endless refrain of i’m so sorry! i don’t know why i did that. i’m so stupid! would have drowned out the words he spoke so naturally. you didn’t have time to process, but you tried to protest against hyunjin’s incessant apologies. this, it seemed, was fruitless.
hyunjin, with shaking legs and fumbling hands, gathered his things.
“hyunjin, what’re you–”
“i should go, y/n,” he responded quickly, too quickly for him to mean it.
your heart broke at the way his voice cracked when he said your name, “no, just stay for a minute. please, i–”
his chest tightened when please fell from your lips, but he couldn’t bear the idea of you begging him to stay, only to tell him you didn’t feel the same. yes, it was immature, and, sure, it was probably selfish. yet all hyunjin could think to do was leave. so he did, his goodbye all staggered breaths and darting eyes.
you turned in your chair, barely catching his gaze as he raced to who knows where, “hyunjin?”
his eyes caught yours, and he ripped them away before he lost his foolish resolve. he hoped he offered you a soft smile, something to say i’m sorry for this. i just want you to be happy, and i guess this is me trying to make sure you stay that way. the adrenaline rush meant he couldn’t feel his face, though. he had no way of knowing what he looked like when he looked back at you.
hyunjin’s whole trip home consisted of pleas for his legs to move faster. if his steps hit the ground hard enough, he could ignore all the scolding voices inside his head until he was safe in his room. if he were honest with himself, he was outrunning the look of shock on your face, and the way your voice fell when you asked him to stay. hyunjin, as he caught his breath in his room, realized that running away from you meant he ended up in front of his window, facing a future of heartbreak. a sardonic laugh broke free from his lips. maybe if you did it the right way, at the right moment, you’d be looking at them instead. maybe you’d be thinking of something other than angsty plotlines for the strangers passing by on the street below.
“or maybe i could be hurt much worse,” he whispered to himself.
that was the last sound that shared space with hyunjin in the room. he sat, mind racing and leg bouncing, completely silent. until someone knocked on the door.
hyunjin shuffled to the entryway, instinctively opening it at a familiar knock, only coming to when he saw you standing before him. of course, no matter how hard he tried, his body would always end up right in front of you.
ignoring the way his deflated figure twisted your chest up in all the worst ways, you chided, “you know it’s rude to confess to someone and leave immediately after, right? you didn’t give me a chance to respond.”
you huffed as you spoke. hyunjin couldn’t help the endeared smile that graced his face when he watched your frustrated, furrowed brow turn into a cute, unintentional pout.
he thought, they are more precious to me than they’ll ever know, and he admitted, “you’re right. it was very rude of me. while i may not deserve to hear it after the way i acted, would you mind telling me what you were going to say?”
your shoulders relaxed as the familiar shine in hyunjin’s eyes returned. his beautiful smile came back too, as he watched your face light up with a reply he’d only ever dreamed of before.
“i like you too, hyunjin. i have for the longest time.”as though his hands weren’t shaking from anxiety a mere five minutes before this moment, hyunjin reached out to you, pulling you into his home and into his arms. when you accepted his invitation and melted into his embrace, hyunjin thought, i’ll pour my heart out to them again and again, if it means we’ll always end up right here, together.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
#hyunjin x reader#hwang hyunjin x reader#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#stray kids angst#skz angst#hyunjin angst#hwang hyunjin angst#stray kids blurbs#skz blurbs#stray kids hyunjin#skz hyunjin#stray kids imagines#skz imagines#stray kids scenarios#skz scenarios#stray kids fanfic#skz fanfic#hyunjin imagines#sweetkpopmusings
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A little speculation of mine regarding shifting
Disclaimer: Everything I say in this post is only what I think might be blocking some of us in shifting to not-parallels. Take it as you wish but don’t come for me because I warned you.
So, shifting.
We already know social media is an issue, lots of people talked about it before. But I kinda want to dive a little deeper.
Because yeah, social media(including Tumblr) does affect you, but why?(and also a few secondary causes)
Burnout
Usually(me personally) I spend a lot of time doomscrolling on Tiktok or here on Tumblr and looking at things about my s/o or my cc or a friend there or the likes. While it’s not exactly a bad thing to look for ‘motivation’ per se, it kills some intention to shift to that reality because you have a small substitute for it here.
2. AI chatbots
Remember, your subconscious can’t tell the difference between what you see and what you tell it you see. Same goes for conversations or movies or books. Maybe even dreams. It doesn’t differentiate between a real conversation and one with a chatbot, so again, some of that intention is killed.
3. Daydreaming/‘roleplaying’
Am I saying either of those are bad things? No. Am I saying they are absolutely terrible for you if you want to shift? No again. What I’m saying is if you do it too much it might also affect your intention and/or motivation to shift. If you need an example, I’ll give one. I like to listen to music a lot, because it’s a coping mechanism and an escape from ‘the real world’. Usually many of these songs are accompanied by scenes I make up in my head and most of the ones I personally have are related to who I am in one DR but talking to some characters from a different place. Like a crossover of the sorts. There is not a single day where I haven’t listened to at least one song.
4. Looking at other shifters for help
So many shifters have said it before and by god am I tired of saying it too, but shifting is a path of self discovery. Like a puzzle. You’re given the pieces and the final image, but you’re the one who has to put them together, not someone else for you. You already have all you need, wasting time looking for answers to questions like ‘why am I not shifting’ or ‘what else do I have to do to shift’ can become hurtful. Sure, advice from time to time is helpful, but constantly doing it won’t get you anywhere.
Your mom didn’t spoon feed you your entire life, did she? She showed you how to do it yourself when you were old enough to learn, and you had to practice on your own and build up strength in your little toddler hands how to hold a spoon properly so you can eat.
So what do all these have in common and to do with shifting?
Simple: Intention and Motivation. Your will to get there.
Now I’m not saying to stop them all together, but I am saying that they should be cut off— rationed if you will— significantly if it means those of us with said issue want to get rid of it.
Again, it kills the intention to shift. Your conscious can’t tell the difference between what’s real and what’s fake, so it always thinks seeing an edit of your favorite person is really similar to seeing them IRL. From my point of view(mine personally), intention isn’t always there.
Let’s give another example and pretend intention is sugar. Sweetness in general. If you have it sometimes, you’re fine. Maybe you want more, but it’s okay. If you take it in big quantities though, it can become an addiction and lead to diabetes or an insulinic shock.
Now pretend all those things I counted out above as the sugar. You take too much and you might end up hurting yourself at some point or just staying at the same level. Spending all day doomscrolling, looking at other peoole for help, chatting with ais and so on, all while having the ‘it’ll help me shift tonight’ mindset won’t get you too far because you’re just exhausting yourself.
And no one’s saying the change has to be instant. You can’t stop an addiction immediately because it’ll just hurt you more, but you can slowly lessen the dose until it’s minimal or nonexistent. At the end of the day you’re only helping yourself, and what’s a thousand years to an eternity of bliss?
I know this is long, but I feel it needs to be put out there. This feels like important information/advice/take it as you will, and let me know if you have questions and I’ll make sure to answer/clarify them.
Happy shifting and take a break if you need to.
#reality shifting#shifting#shifting community#shiftblr#anti shifters dni#shifting realities#shifting mindset#law of assumption#loa#shifting motivation#shifting advice#you are the god of your own reality#but even gods need rest
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what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]
a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious
i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me
as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy
#snap chats#may you forgive me anon i always feel awkward explaining things AVELKJEAKLJ#i feel esp awkward cause i haven't read toooo much of the comics yet- like ive read. an ok amount so far krakoa wise#can you guys tell im fighting god himself to Not write a fuckin. NOVEL#im so sorry i have an over-explaining problem my mom was mean to me growing up but anyways#i definitely want to read more and more outside krakoa. the more i read the more im fascinated by these two and their history#but to continue my prattling. as if the three paragraphs above arent enough This Is Not A Thesis RELAX#i think a. 'poignant' moment i think adds to what i like about charles too is that soliloquy where he recognizes people dont like him#yet he could always be worse- like if he's bad now to others imagine if he really just said Fuck It All#it's simple but so am i whaddyagonnadoboutit. i mean that point itself could be discussed but i'm trying to keep this brief bear with me#i so bad want to know what issue that's from tho all i know is that it's from krakoa but i neeeed the whole context#i think like. an additional bullet point to charles i also like is his loneliness#and i say this cause- I Say From My Amateur-Psychology Armchair- it's a component of why he's so earnest to help#but im keeping this point in the tags until i can confidently verify that with myself after some more reading#Unfortunately a favorite pass time of mine is psychoanalyzing characters like why else you think i major in psychology smh#im going to force myself to cap the post here because i ended up typing like 20 more tags just rambling#and as i said id like to keep this simple and clean !!!!! i have sat here for like four hours answering this ngl#ignore the fact half that time was spent getting distracted by solitaire and riffling cards ok I Am Very Easily Distracted#but fr when it comes to charles and erik- charles esp imo#i feel like i need to write a whole paper just so i can mention the nuances of the characters and like. EVERYTHING#because again six decades is A Lot of time for writing decisions to be made and for their characters to change over time#im a glazer but i wanna be a nuanced glazer yk. is that glazing at that point-- w/e anyway#its a lot. so today you will have to tolerate a very Blah answer from me which i must apologize for#down the line once ive read a comfortable amount more varying from multiple eras maybe ill revisit this question more in depth#as of right now tho .... chat i wanna get legion of x so bad i skimmed it and hhhhhhhhim gonna throw UP#i need to shake charles like a ragdoll BUT ANYWAY. bye bye for now lovelies !!!!!!!#please forgive me if i didnt answer your question efficiently ..#here i am saying i wanted to keep the tag count brief and yet !!! jesus christ. shut up My God I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT
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you've done a lot of my requests, anon and not, I would like to draw something for you for a change- it won't be good or pretty but maybe you would still want a doodle?
🥺 that's so sweet actually.
I would like a doodle of your favorite character(s) just being happy. That's all. (Also don't say your art isn't pretty or good, I'll find you 👁)
#don't feel like you have to draw anything for me tho. only do it if you want to#but yeah a doodle of your favorite character(s) should do it :) (what can I say I love knowing other people's favorite characters)#ask#not anon#not art#text#I also love seeing other people's art no matter what#♡#something to consider. it doesn't matter if your art doesn't meet everyone's standards. you show it to them for free#I think it's pretty brave to share your art online (personally it took me years before I ws confident enough to share mine)
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Me: Hehe I'm so excited for all these charm designs I'm working on for my shop launch!
My brain: Yes but you have to finish them
Me: W. What
My brain: You have to actually put in the work and draw them you can't just sit and daydream about them
Me: B. But :(((((
#Why can't they just magically manifest in my hands. Right now.#Shima speaks#I'D BE LAUNCHING MY SHOP TOMORROW IF IT WERE THAT EASY. SIGH#It's coming along tho. I'm getting through them. DOING MY BESTEST#I'm also trying to see what art pieces of mine I could make into prints 🤔#Charms are my main focus but prints......hmhm....there's some stuff I could definitely sell#(If you guys have like. A favorite artwork of mine you'd want on your wall. Lemme know 👀)
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I mean this in the nicest way possible: I wish I was a better friend.
#delete later#I know I’m not a good friend#but i think it’s trauma related#and I know that’s not an excuse#but a reason#and I’m just… also tired of people leaving me#I don’t strike up conversations anymore cause I was the friend who always did so#I was always the one making the effort to be in other peoples lives#and it sucks. ya know.#and sometimes I say dumb things that then like….. makes people not want to be around me I fear#and like…. yeah…. that’s part of life#but I’m just so tired of being alone#I want friends. I want people to send post cards and letters too#and I wanna hang out with people#and I want them to tell me things I want them to tell me how they are feeling#like. online friends are great!!#don’t get me wrong!!#but I know I’m not a great online friend either.#and when I try to be I fear I come off as flirting. like sometimes I am. don’t get me wrong#but I wish I could just… go to a friends house and sit with them and hold their hand when they are having a bad day and have the same done#for me!!!#I am always giving…. I am always giving parts of myself to people who don’t give themselves back#I still know my ex-best friends favorite color but I doubt she knows what mine was when we where friends#if you read this far just…. ignore it oof.#it’s just a rant#sometimes I rant in a tumblr post cause reading rants back in old journals is. bad. for my mental health#my adhd just picks the emotions right back up and then I go through it again. so it’s best to tumblr rant#I’ve also been having complicated gender emotions again#I don’t hate the idea of being a woman/girl as much as I used to. and it’s throwing me off a bit#I mean it’s right on time really… I have a gender crisis almost every four years…
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The truth.
#babylon 5#john sheridan#elizabeth lochley#m: babylon 5#mine: edits#you know i never bought that they were actually married#like over 20 years ago?#but this was actually a nice moment between them#also:#i wanted to include the shot where john says 'the truth'#but the quality was so shitty#i mean#i'm grateful for what we currently have quality wise#but still#i'm going to complain because i'm french and complaining is our favorite pasttime
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How about that Ogerpon
Please read the tags!
#Hi its me! mod dox here#I wanna say that Im really sorry for the sudden disappearance of this blog#i promise we dont want to drop it (or at least. i dont want to)#we havent been back for 2 major reasons:#1. ive been Very burnt out. I just got a job and its made doing art a little difficult#plus post artfight burnout (plus i got SEVERELY injured during artfight)#and so ive been having to slowly train myself back into drawing so! thats why we got an ogerpon#2. i havent heard from mod tracker in almost a month and a half. i dont know where they are or what theyre doing#and i cant run the blog alone. so im sorry!#if worse comes to worst ill try to draw up the next update myself but im hoping mod tracker is ok! so. yea#ill be around if youd like to send an ask or what not#my main is doxilline-alien and my discord is doxillinealien so!#feel free to come over and talk to me. but ill also answer asks on this blog if you wanna send something here! i just cant update the story#so sorry about how informal this post is tracker is gonna kill me for fucking up the tag system/j#mod dox#ooc#lairmadness#ogerpon#teal mask dlc#side note i think ogerpon is one of my favorite pokemon now. little child. mine is name Mint
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any hopes for kiwami 3? like things u wanna see added or changed stuff like that
if they dont keep kiryu's goofy walk stance and the hoof-like walk sounds i dont wanna play it
#snap chats#no one understands how much i love that from y3 and y4 its genuinely one of my favorite things about the game#oh but i guess i have to give an actual answer now. HMPH.#id scream if they revived kanda calling mine limp wristed. homophobia in 4k#OK BUT TO BE SERIOUS uhhhh i dont know. im a real simple guy i think#my only like. If This Isnt There Im Leaving deal is mine's palette and im so serious#rgg's scaring me with all the black-hair/purple-suit mine stuff as of late and i cant stress how hard ill vomit if thats in the final#HYPOTHETICAL final anyways. yk3 isnt coming out for. IDK A WHILE#i wanna say i hope they highlight daigo and mine's relationship more but i dont know how theyd do that#i really like how mine's handled in y3 as is so i dont think i want scenes injected like what they did with yk1 and nishiki#someone said a Mine Saga after the game and... hm ... sounds too unrealistic for me to hope for it#like im REALLY trying to think how they could possibly reference the rggo stories in y3 since those are EXCELLENT but#i think . MAYBE. you could reference the story where richardson calls mine as he's driving to the hospital#the only thing you'd have to exclude though is mine stopping by the bar- like JUST keep the phone conversation maybe#cause in that scene that subordinate does question mine if he can really kill daigo and i think thatd be neat. in my opinion.#yeah i dont know. in regards to rggo its hard to think of what i want without intervening things i already like about y3#its a real head scratcher ...#a really good epilogue addition would be adapting that RGGO bit where daigo ruminates on mine. that's a fair ending for him i think#it also fulfills the need to see how daigo saw mine even if its just a little#and to non-rggo readers it could start to answer 'how does daigo feel about everything that happened'#im still so curious as to if daigo was briefed on EVERYTHING that happened but .... anyways....#sorry all my hopes for y3 are just mine/minedai centric fLVKELKA BUT LIKE. i really am content with everything else with y3 surprisingly#idk. i want kiryu fucking up that curry in high definition tho. thats important to me#THEY HAVE TO KEEP THE QTES DURING THE RICHARDSON FIGHT ILL BE PISSED#i need the fight to be AS CAMPY and unnecessary as it was in the og. INCLUDING richardson's voice acting i need it wack as hell#is it weird i actually appreciate the Diet Building Loredumping being like. in replayable-cutscene form#i thought id prefer just One Long cutscene but im glad theres the option to skip those segments#BUT being able to get a refresher in case you missed something somehow#im running out of tags jesus christ i shouldve put this in the main text but vjALjlagj those are all my thoughts for now bYE
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You ever think about how a major theme of Gargoyles is revenge, and how Demona's pursuit of it leads her to lose everything and live a live being hunted, betraying and being betrayed, while Goliath's split-second decision to save a life instead of getting revenge on his clan's betrayer ultimately saves not only his own life but the lives of a generation of gargoyles, cuz I do
#yunmusings#gargoyles#I love this show#and Demona is a favorite villain of mine#partially because I am fond of Marina Sirtis because of her role on TNG#but also because Demona is so self-destructive it's sad and fascinating#the way she's in denial about her role in her clan's destruction but deep down she knows#“what have I--what have THEY done to you?”#part of me wants to write an essay on this
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THE EMU 5 LEAKS THE CARDSSS
#obligatory long ass tags so people can avoid spoilers. hi how are you. did you know sharks as a species are older than Saturns rings#and that Saturns rings will eventually dissapear despite that being the defining Saturn feature to us#isn’t that neat? is that long enough to hide other tags.#no emunene it’s ok gang we’ll get ‘em next time#don’t care for the posing but everything else makes up for it#my long abandoned au of alien emukasa and normal human ruinene who have to deal with them when they crash land on earth#will remain abandoned. but I was fed.#(lying I might flesh it out a lil)#tsukasa’s card is unfortunately my favorite out of the set. hate him.#what the fuck is he doing in his untrained it’s so funny. cryinggg why’s he doing football training shit.#rui + emu untraineds are also so good. god damn I really can’t pull for cpdb can I.#pull for pandemonium -> ohe -> wxs WL -> emu5 maybe.#the song is also cute…#colopale this is ur chance to make it an emunene centered event I know you want to#it’s physical training or something let emu train nene please please please#mine
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