#also if u saw me fuck up the posting of this the 1st time no you didnt

[airborneice]

saw this post and felt inspired

[otherone12]

Oh, Baby... You're Mine (part 3)

Vampire!Gerard Way x Reader

-> Masterlist

A/N: Hey!! Finally the 3rd part of "Oh, Baby... You're Mine" yayyy. I thought I might take more time to write, but I interrupted the other fic I was writing because I was extremely excited to do this one lol. Anyway, I hope you're all well <3

(If u have some suggestion, idea, or request, just drop it! What if i post fics with Teacher x Student dynamic? Also, do you want me to post headcanons?)

if u didn't read, here's the part1 & part2,

Summary: You finally started to succumb, and truly fall in love with him. Could this be the beginning of a beautiful romance?

- Word Count: 1.510

- Warnings: She/her pronouns. Kidnap, stockholm syndrome! AFAB SMUT! (probably a bit cringe, sorry)

IF YOU DON'T LIKE THIS KIND OF CONTENT, DON'T READ!!!! YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONTENT YOU CONSUME.

- Ps: I'll not use y/n…

- Ps2: Sorry for the smut, i'm not used to write this, i'm still learning already. (:

- Ps3: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language... sorry if i wrote something wrong.

___________________________________________

1st Person POV

I can't explain in words how it feels. I'm again in his arms, but this time seems just right… he's cozy, and the sensation of our skin together while I rest my head on his chest made me forget the urge to go away from this man who kidnaped me. 

I think Gerard became more confident in me, ‘cause he untied me, even though that only passed some days after he decided to turn me into a vampire. Of course I can't go out of the old room, but still. 

His arms softly around me, caressing my shoulder. The atmosphere that was once heavy now seemed calm and loving… And I'm getting used to my fangs ether.

My head laid on his shirtless chest, not able to sleep, just cuddling to the sound of a muffled record playing on the old record player at the back of the room. My hand rested on his torso, Gerard was smiling with certain pride and a genuine love.

Our synchronized breath was interrupted by the sound of his sweet voice. 

-Baby… I'll need to leave for a while - I'm not gonna lie, I felt a bit sad about it… I was comfortable with him. I let out a disappointed hum. - I know, sugar… I'm gonna miss you too.

I didn't say anything, just got up on him, giving him space to move out of the bed. I looked at him from top to bottom and damn, he's hot. 

-I'll be back soon… - He said, dressing up and walking to the door. In a warning tone, he said - Be good, darling. 

I heard the door being locked and I felt empty, laying down again looking at the beautiful chandelier that was hanging from the ceiling. Hours after Gerard leaves, I started to get worried… worried about a fucking vampire, who fucked up my life. 

*** time skip ***

I got excited when I heard the noise of the key unlocking the door and got up wearing only underwear - cause that was the only thing I had there to wear. 

-Looks like someone missed me hm - he said with a smirk when he opened the door and saw me waiting for him on the side of the bed. - Come here, baby!

He made a sign with his hand, indicating for me to come closer. Slowly, I walked through the room in my bare feet, making a little noise because of the wooden floor.  I stopped in front of him, making eye contact with his beautiful hazel eyes.

-I bought something for you, darling… 

He was holding a bag, which he opened and took a package from the inside. Gerard gave that to me, still smiling while I opened. Behind all the wrapping, that I let fall to the floor, there was a dress. A black dress with a cut that flattered all the positive aspects of my body

I exchanged glances with Gerard quickly, looking down at the dress in my hands and back at him again. 

-Thank you! - I exclaimed, smiling ear to ear for him  - I- I love it! 

-I'm glad you liked it, princess - That was the first time I saw him blushing… how cute. - There's another thing in the bag…

I took a close look at the bag and saw a little box on the bottom of it. Opening the box, which was wrapped in a red bow, I could see a thin ring, with a small red diamond on the top.

-That’s beautiful! - I instantly put the ring on my finger, bringing another smile to Gerards face. - But why did you buy me this?

-’Cause a gorgeous girl needs pretty clothes. And you're mine… - He held my hand and kissed the ring softly. I felt like we were Gomez and Morticia. - So you need a reminder of that, darling

He put a hand on my waist, and the other let go from mine and got up on my cheek, pulling me close for a kiss that I didn't deny. A slow kiss, which broke when he noticed I was kissing him back. 

-Better late than never, darling 

My face turned light red, ‘cause of the mocking tone he was using and the eye contact he was keeping. 

-You look so pretty when you get shy like this. - Smiling and keeping looking at me, he rolled his thumb on my cheek - You look so pretty always, princess 

I melted by his voice, and when his hazel eyes glow, I couldn’t help but return the compliment 

-So do you… 

-Aw… We're complimenting now, hun? 

Leaving no time for me to answer, he kissed me again, roughly, but I could feel how much passion he was putting there. His kiss was getting down my neck, and my body was getting even closer to him, making me wrap my arms around his neck.

-I swear…- he hummed on my neck, and I felt my skin tumbled under his voice  -  I could bite this beautiful neck again. 

My fingers runned his black hair, and I let out an involuntary moan. 

-Really? Already in that state, darling?

He backed his attention to my mouth, catching my lips and intertwining our tongues. He held my hips tight and led me to the bed, without breaking the kiss. 

His hands touched all my torso pressing all the right spots. When the kiss slowly ended, he looked at my eyes again, smiling with the pretty fangs.

- I… I think… - Swallowing my pride, in a dizzy voice and being a hundred percent honest - I think I'm in love with you.

-You ‘think’? - He chuckled, approaching my face again and almost whispering the next sentence - I'm sure you do, princess. 

-If you say so…

I smiled in his lips, kissing him. Yeah, I kissed this time. His lips slipped down in my neck, and his hands passed through my body, stopping on my back and opening my bra.

-Again? - I asked, panting but not pulling him away.

-Yeah… but this time you want it as much as I - still up on me, he moved away a little, just enough to take off his black shirt - Am I right, darling?

He batted an eye playfully, I giggled and Gerard went to me again, mouthing one of my breasts while moving his hand to the other. 

I moaned, pulling his hair and feeling his tongue on my nipple. He just knows what to do with my body, I don't know how, but he seems like Gerard knows me like the back of his hand. 

He murmured some praise, and got off of me, keeping eye contact with me, undoing his belt and unbuttoning his black jeans. The bulge on his boxers was clearly visible, and made me want him even more.

He laid his hands on my tight. Fast he swiped his hand between my legs, teasing me through the fabric of my panties. 

-D'don't tease… - I grunted, arching my back a little.

-So impatient… - He said, in a low voice, still moving his fingers in circles on my clit.

Not taking too long, he stopped, holding now the waistband of my panties, pulling it down. He opened my legs even more and held my hips tight

-Gee…

-Shh…you're gonna like it, princess.

Before I could have a chance to protest, I felt his mouth on me. I pulled his hair, letting myself be carried away by the feeling of the way he was sucking me.

My orgasm washed over me before I could warn him, but he already knew that happened. 

He returned to my face, making a point of running his hands over every inch of my body, kissing me deeply again, so I could taste myself.

-I told you that you're going to like it. 

With his mouth close to mine he dropped some kisses between the words.

-You were right… - I said, holding his face and smiling lightly - like you apparently always are

-So you're finally realizing it, baby? 

He murmured on my neck not letting go of me. I runned my hands from his face to his boxers, groping his hard member. Hear him growls is like music to my ears.

Not wanting to tease, I pulled his boxers down in moves that looked like a dance.  He slammed into me, without violence this time, he was being, at some point, affectionate and caring, anyways, I screamed in pleasure.

being with him has become less and less weird. The longer our bodies stay together, the more it seems like we are perfect for each other. 

Faste, after he thrusted on me a couple of times, I felt his cum inside of me, followed by another growl.

Gerard laid his head on my chest, arranging our position and cuddling on the bed. I caressed his wet hair and he almost purred on my skin. 

-Sugar… - he said in a soft voice, blinking his eyes with a cute, innocent-looking smile.  - You said you thought that you were in love with me...

- Y’know? - I gave him a smirk- I guess I'm sure now.

___________________________________________

~ So… That 's it! Lemme know if u liked, idk if i write a part 4… you want it? (:

PART 4!

[momotonescreaming]

Trying my hand at something different based off of a silly text post I made about a 90s/00s chatfic au. Not 100% sure if I'll continue it yet, so please let me know what you think! 💜❤️

Eddie couldn’t lie to himself that his heart skipped a beat when he got the notification. When he saw who the notification was for. The familiar bloop noise and the little pop up at the corner of the screen.

KingSteve85 is Online

Finally. Steve had moved away for college almost two weeks ago now, and Eddie had barely heard from him. Logically he knows that he and Robin needed the time to drive up, and set up in their cramped little dorms, and do other fancy college orientation things. But he missed them. Now that he had them, people who weren’t scared of him, people who weren’t afraid to call him out on his shit, people who got it. They talked almost every day after… everything.

Eddie would log on to the shitty old computer he and Wayne had fixed up and wedged in the corner of the trailer, scroll the internet, listen to music — and chat with Steve. He was a good fucking guy. And funny. And hot. And now it felt weird not chatting to him every day. Not logging on after a shift at Thatcher Tyre to find the little green Online dot next to his username. Not logging on at 2am after a nightmare to find Steve also online.

But Steve’s at college now, and his PC is currently boxed up in Robin’s childhood bedroom. Didn’t trust his new roommate, he said. Or his parents, after he moved out.

Without hesitating, ignoring the flip of his stomach and beat of his heart — he sends Steve a message.

c0rr0d3d_3dd13: soooooo how was ur 1st wk of college? :D

Steve replies immediately.

KingSteve85: so crazy haha KingSteve85: sorry i haven’t been online haha c0rr0d3d_3dd13: lol allgud. i know ur a big college boy now C0rr0d3d_3dd13: don’t have time 4 me anymor lol ;_;

Eddie cringes as soon as he says it, as soon as he hears the click of the enter key sending the message. Recoiling into a ball, hands over his face, curling up on the wheeled office chair, he lets himself spin as he watches the screen. Waits for the KingSteve85 is typing… message to pop up. God, Steve’s barely left and Eddie’s already a needy, self deprecating, mess.

Fuck his life. Crushes are stupid.

Because that’s what that is. He can admit that to himself now. Now that Steve’s left. He’s got a big, fat, gay crush on Steve Harrington. Him and all the other repressed queer kids at Hawkins High. What a cliché.

The computer pings with a new message, and his gaze is ripped towards the screen.

KingSteve85: never! there was just a lot of events and stuff this first week KingSteve85: did not have time to go to the library and log on lol KingSteve85: haven’t even called Dustin yet c0rr0d3d_3dd13: ur messaging me b4 dusty? Ur gonna make a girl blush harrington

Hunched over on the office chair with the broken wheel, at the computer he helped fix, with the shoddy speakers him and Wayne haven’t gotten around to yet — Eddie felt special. Dustin was Steve’s brother, one of his best friends. And yet Steve chose to message him first.

He tries to humble himself, hold back the blush with the knowledge that if Robin went to a different college than Steve (which was highly unlikely), he would have messaged her first. But Robin isn’t at a different college. And Eddie got the message first.

c0rr0d3d_3dd13: wot sort of events were there? music and drinking? Rotfl KingSteve85: literally yes haha KingSteve85: during the day there were like,,, tours and stalls advertising clubs and stuff KingSteve85: but as soon as it was night it all popped off haha c0rr0d3d_3dd13: u go 2 any? KingSteve85: some! not a lot haha. Robs wasn’t super excited and i didn’t want to leave her alone

It warmed his cynical heart, how much Steve cared for Robin. And how much she cared for him in return. They cared, and they love each other so much. Eddie thinks they’d still be close, even without all the debilitating trauma that glued them together. Robin had mentioned wanting to merge her and Steve into one being before, so they could always be close and balance each other out. Steve had immediately agreed.

Eddie had friends in the Corroded Coffin boys, but he wasn’t sure if they were at the ‘merge into one mega being’ stage of their friendship yet. Maybe Jeff. Jeff had gone off to college this year with Frank — to a different place than Steve and Robin — and Eddie had already received a postcard from him. It was nice to not be forgotten. A part of him wondered if he would be, when everyone went off to college.

But Jeff didn’t. Steve didn’t.

c0rr0d3d_3dd13: wot a gentleman lol c0rr0d3d_3dd13: wots ur timetable lik now? KingSteve85: fucking crazy dude KingSteve85: got lectures & tutorials & work & been thinking about doing a sport again c0rr0d3d_3dd13: which sport lol? u’ve got like… 3 to pick from c0rr0d3d_3dd13: ALSO DAMN DUDE THATS BUSY KingSteve85: i guess haha KingSteve85: been thinking either basketball or swimming. maybe baseball lol KingSteve85: which’ll add practices and meets and games and stuff haha

Before he left, Steve had quietly admitted that he wasn’t sure if he’d try out for a sport or not. During his senior year Billy Hargrove gave him a concussion so bad it benched him for months, and he’d spent ages trying to work back up to it again. So he could play without wanting to puke. And then he didn’t get into college when he applied to the fancy schools his dad made him apply for, and he missed out on any possible scholarships he would’ve gotten.

And he would’ve gotten them. Eddie’s not much of a sports guy, but he knows Steve was good. Great. One of the best.

Eddie quietly believed in Steve. He wouldn’t be himself unless he was exercising or playing a sport. You could see it in his face when he watched a game with Robin, when he played pick-up basketball with Lucas. It made him happy. So Eddie wanted Steve to try out. He was at the sappy stage where the thought of Steve being happy made his heart swell. He was happy he was happy.

(A part of Eddie just wondered if maybe Steve could be happy with him.)

c0rr0d3d_3dd13: do it!! i’ll cheer 4 u from here c0rr0d3d_3dd13: but leave som time free lol or u’ll go mad KingSteve85: enough free time i can chat w you? Haha

His hear clenches at the fact that it was Steve who bought it up. Their chatting. Maybe he thinks of it as often as Eddie does.

c0rr0d3d_3dd13: obvs??? c0rr0d3d_3dd13: if u 4get ab me im gonna cry dude KingSteve85: of course i won’t haha KingSteve85: gotta chat w you so you won’t go crazy back in Hawkins c0rr0d3d_3dd13: and i’ll make sure u don’t go crazy over there with your full ass schedule KingSteve85: its not that bad haha KingSteve85: but thank u c0rr0d3d_3dd13: i’d argue it *is* that bad c0rr0d3d_3dd13: i hav a full time job and the thought of ur schedule makes me cry

Wayne had managed to get him a job at Thatcher Tyre, through a few mutual acquaintances and a favour he had yet to cash in. It made him feel like one of those rich shit kids who go to college on daddy’s money and get a job in his company without having to work for it. The type of kid Steve was.

But Eddie can’t be picky now, and he and Wayne need the money. He’s good at cars, doesn’t completely hate it, and it pays. So he bit his lip, and now he has a full time job with a schedule of his own.

It is not as busy as Steve’s. He knows if he asks Robin, hers will be the same. Filled with band practices and sports games. Birds of a feather.

KingSteve85: i’m used to it haha KingSteve85: at least i’m only planning on one sport and not two lol c0rr0d3d_3dd13: u better stick to that harrington c0rr0d3d_3dd13: or i’ll drive up there and kick ur ass until you take care of urself

There’s a pause. The KingSteve85 is typing… message flickered on the screen, loading whatever message Steve was typing.

It eventually came through.

KingSteve85: i promise. but maybe i should break that rule so you can come visit c0rr0d3d_3dd13: u dont have 2 con me into visiting stevie. just say the word

Another pause.

KingSteve85: i will

[6okuto]

HI THIS IS THE ANON WHO SAID SHE LOVED UR POST AND i just realised u also write for cove holden ilysm do u have any romance visual novel recs?? so far i've only done cove's one & two demo ones (a celtic mythology one whose name i cannot remember & touchstarved the loml)

have the bestest day and thNk u

was the celtic one the good people (na daoine maithe) because i played that one too 👩🏻‍💻🫶 RLLY GOOD in typical nia fashion when my Type type isn't there i'm going 4 keagan and flannan

i saw u say error 143 in ur other ask UR REAL!!! ofc i must recommend blooming panic if u haven't played. xyx and toasty r genuinely just. Funny. i rlly liked toasty's va they did a great job. FIRST TIME I HEARD HIS LAUGH I WAS LIKE WOAH. i rlly liked how nightowl's route went w. Anger. u don't see it a lot and i appreciate it i was like WOWWW? AT ME? he's real. robo has answered a Lot of asks on tumblr so u can get loads of content after u finish!

https://gbpatch.itch.io/our-life-nf ... :) No words. Demo. i will build the audience for the 2nd game myself.

DEMO obscura is also vry good,, i haven't played in a Long time but i keep up w reading tumblr asks abt the LIs LOL. love the art and vibes. he isn't my type but iirc cirrus offers a rlly interesting dark romance route + aftercare/safe word system :)

DEMO online @ the perfect time is just,, i love the vibes and concept so far I LOVE WHEN CHARAS R FUNNY. HAVE MY HUMOR. rlly excited to see where it goes it's quite short so far BUT I WANT PPL TO PAY ATTENTION 4 THE FUTURE. PLEASE!

cryptid coffeehouse IS SOOO CUTE I LOVE ARTEMIS ☹️☹️ queer slowburn coffee shop romance BE SERIOUS no one fucking TALKS ABOUT MY ARTEMIS. WHY. so so many cute moments i was kicking my feet and giggling like WOWW

3 seasons is also VRY vry cute i don't usually play games w an mc visual but ivy is so pretty so IDC!!! u can play all the routes pretty easily they're all lovely like... it isn't super often i come out liking all the LIs pretty much on the same lvl. mamma mia!

....the persona 5 vn. IMCRYING I'm so fucking serious like. the characterization is REAL it's super well made. i'd like to say u could enjoy without playing p5 but um. probably not to the full extent. i played out of principle as a p5 enjoyer and for goro bc he's one of summer's fav charas ever and his route was so awesome actually. Epic Major Spoilers obvi. akira slayed also (my good ending completionist side..☹️)i won't say much abt him bc i'll ramble on and on but summer after finding out i had a crush on him yrs ago was like Yeah that makes a lot of sense he is so loz link.. like man

$30 gilded shadows (free demo) which i need to play again I WAS SUPPOSED TO FINISH ARI'S ROUTE MONTHS AGO rika said he was so my type and i trust them fundamentally. caissa my beloved. like the world building + charas it's just,, well done y'know

$12 when the night comes haven't played but rika rlly likes it so i'm putting it here anyways. LOL

NOT VNs. they are IFs...like there's Literally no visuals. read in browser. but i stand by the night market (1st book finished!) which i've rb'ed a bit + speaker . both fantasy,, love both casts i love everything they're doing i'm genuinely so so excited to see where they go!!! PLEASE!!!

YANDERE DEMOS separated for if they aren't ur thing which is obvi Valid. i erm. went down a bit of a rabbit hole. pls read their warnings! always read game warnings. but like. ok anyways

DEMO 14 days with you yeah. ren. i like when mc notes that smth is Off abt him. lots of asks answered on the tumblr! I can fix him.

DEMO something's wrong with sunny day jack jesus Christ . some of the best vn va work i have ever come across like Genuinely wtf. and the concept is rlly cool. was put off for a long time bc of.. jack's appearance.. sowwy. but wow it is just. really well done.

bitter/sweet blythe orange masc blythe va ?? did such a good job?? like srsly what. sorry wow that's the main thing i just rlly wanted to applaud them a bit. also I LOVE THE PARTIAL OST??? i want it so bad i was humming it for a couple hours after like

DEMO our dollhouse I'm so serious when i say i didn't realize it was for yanjam so when i came to my own realization of Oh Shit He's Sus and checked i was like FUCKCKDJ 😭😭 OBVIOUSLY... but srsly love the art and i'm excited to see how mc figures it out and what happens. did a good job at making a pretty Understandably oblivious(??) mc. like yeah i can see why u wouldn't expect him.

DEMO favor Z Intrigues Me. had to try so hard for the secret ending but now i am more intrigued like OKAYYY WHAT HAPPENED BROTHER 🤨 i like the tail animation also. also when u say u like possession horrors woah hey. hey. pal

[godisg4y]

yesss!! pls start posting again omg!! i love ur work, u dont understand. and i would LOOOVE if u wrote a pt 2 to the chifuyu S.I.M.P fic where they actually speak or sumth idk im not creative lmaoooo i just need ur content in my life auuuggghhhhh (no pressure ofc <3)

Ask and you shall receive my love! also i re-edited part 1 so make to check it out if you'd like! sorry if this took a while

♡S.I.M.P!I want you to worship me♡

Chifuyu x Reader part 2!

part 1 here

Note: can be read as a stan alone fic!

highschool au, cursing, sub!chifuyu, smut, 3rd person pov to 1st person pov

The library was Y/n's only safe space, She would always go there to finally breathe, she didn't have to keep up the performance. She could just bury herself in her silly little mangas and escape reality. But one time she stumbled upon the nsfw mangas in the bookshelf, she questioned it at first. She was the student council member she should bring attention to the fact that there's nsfw books in the library right??. Then Y/n realized that the anime club she belonged too probably snuck them in along with the regular ones and the librarian probably doesn't give enough fucks to actually check them which is why it's here. As she mentally fought with herself her eyes caught a glance at a hentai manga she's read before, one of her favorites at that. It was about a shy nerdy boy and a popular girl who bullied him...

Then there was one day she accidentally reached for the same manga as chifuyu, the pretty delinquent boyof the school. (Thankfully it wasn't hentai) Y/n was startled as a hand touched hers, she quickly turned to her side and her eyes widened in surprise. It was chifuyu, had she ever noticed him in the library before?..As he raised his head and looked to the side, he froze for a second. Emeral green eyes widening in panic as he stared at her. Y/n noticed his surprised expression, she would never have expected to see an expression like that on a boy like him...he looked almost fearful, like deer caught in headlights. Y/n studied his face, His fluffy blonde hair fell perfectly with his bangs covering parts of his forhead, She was almost compelled to reach out and touch it. His green eyes were wide open and and a soft pink blush dusted over his cheeks, his lips pressed together awkwardly in athin line. Like this he looked adorable, not at all like the rude delinquent all the other students were afraid to talk to. He quickly pulled his hand back and brought it up to the back of his neck with a sheepish smile on his face "Oh im sorry!" His voiced was rushed and panicked "Uhm, you can have it i dont mind" His words were rushed and flustered. It was surprising to see but honestly she couldn't help but it cute. Truth be told Y/n never really paid much attention to the blonde boy, sure she thought about how cool it was that he defied the teachers but that was in jealousy, wishing she could do the same. Other than that she never really paid him any real attention, until this very moment where she can't help but find him attractive..His soft jawline and smooth cheeks dusted in pink..his soft baby pink lips and his big green eyes still full of anxiety... Chifuyu swiftly spun on his heel and turned around to hurry away from Y/n but as he tried to leave her voice called out, "Chifuyu?" much more soft than when she usually talks to her classmates. His heart beat immediately sped up, his throat ran dry and he gulped but willed himself to turn around nonetheless. She saw his questioning look and responded before he could speak "uhm, well it's just.. if we're both interested in it, maybe we can just look at it together"

About A week passed since Chifuyu started talking to his crush. Everytime she saw him in the library she would come sit by him and strike up a conversation about whatever manga they were both into at the moment. Like right now. She's sitting so close to him he can barely process what she's saying. He tries so hard to will his brain to listen but all he could focus on was Y/n's skirt riding up her plush thighs the more she leans into his personal space. Her pretty face leaning closer to his, soft lips, shiny with her peach chapstick moving as she talked and her pretty e/c eyes staring into his, batting her eyelashes at him. Fuck he swears she's doing this on purpose to make him nervous and it was working and Judging from the feeling of his pants tightening it was working a little too good. His body was getting hotter and hotter, the soft pink that dusted over his flushed skin at his crushe's close proximity was getting harder to hide. Suddenly he was broken from his chain of thoughts when he heard her call his name "chifyuy? did you hear me?" His startled eyes were brought up to look into her concerned ones. "I asked if you were feeling okay, you look bothered" Before the boy could muster up a reply she stretched her hand out, shifting it under his bangs to against his forhead to check his temperature. Her face only inches away from his. "Oh my god chifuyu, you're burning-" Before Y/n could finish he cut her off "im okay! im just really warm- will you excuse me for a second!" Chifuyu quickly excused himself and scurried off towards to toilets. Oh fuck. He looked down at his pants and noticeable enough there was a buldge. He looked up questioning his life. Why was god doing this to him? Then he made accidental eye contact with his own pitiful reflection in the mirror, leading him to question his life even more. Without much options at his disposal he locked himself inside one of the stalls and made a quick mental note that after he rubbed out a quick one he'd go buy a gun to fucking shoot himself with.

You stood quietly outside his stall listening to his heavy panting before hearing him breathe a small "oh fuck" followed by a whisper of your name. Chifuyu stood inside the stall trying to be as quiet as possible as his hand wrapped around his aching cock. He swears he's never been this hard before, pumping gently a few times and then picking up the pace. You couldn't help but rub your thighs together under your skirt at his cute little whimpers and moans. God it was so hot, everytime he breathed out your name you felt your insides tighten and slick pooled inside your panties. That's it you couldn't control yourself anymore. You needed something inside you so badly. "Chifuyu?~" you called out, feigning a worried voice but the slutry undertone could still be heard and knocking on the door "you okay in here?". A smirk played on your glossed lips as you heard him panic "Wha- uh- uhm yea-YEAH! IM FINE!" An array of rushed incoherent stutters left him in response. "Y/n this is the boys washroom! you can't be in her-" Before he could finish his rushed and panicked sentence his door flew open. Chifuyu was stood frozen in horror, throbbing cock still in his grip as he was met face to face with the girl. You had kicked the door in! His mouth was agape but no words came out, he looked so scared and ashamed, Fuck it was so cute.

Chifuyu stood there frozen in place, his hand still around his cock. You carefully stepped inside the cramped stall, closing the door behind your back before pushing off it and stepping towards him. He can barely process what's happening right now before your hands are on him and your mouth crashes on his, nipping at his lips and sliding your tongue into his mouth. His eyes flutter shut as he kisses back, groaning into your mouth. His hard cock is pressed into your lower stomach, he can't help but grind it against your body chasing the much craved for friction. Your hands move from the sides of his face down towards his shirt. Fingers moving quickly to undo all of his buttons but your mouth is still pressed to his, tongue shoved down his throat. Moaning into him. He can barely register what the fuck is going on but he feels so good right now. When you finish unbutton his shirt you pull away from his mouth moving to leave a trail of kisses down his jaw to his neck. He whines when you do but it turns into a gasp as you stop to bite and suck at his sensitive skin, marking him as you please. He's such a sweet boy for you, whining and moans in your ear. "Y-y/n" he breathes your name out in a silent plea yet he doesn't even know what he's asking for. You press a few more kisses onto his chest and neck and one last kiss on the corner of his mouth before wordlessly sliding to your knees. His leaking cock right at your eye level as you look up him through your eyelashes. Without saying anything you take his cock in your soft hands.You could feel it pulsating, see the pretty veins throbbing on the underside of it. so much pre-cum was already leaking out of his thick baby pink mushroom tip and down his slender shaft, he was about 7 inches thick, 3 inches wide and holy fuck was it so pretty, just like him, matching his sweet little flushed face. God he looked so hot like this, Zipper undone, His shirt left open, showing of his lean torso and soft stomach. His pretty face flushed pink twisted in pleasure in such a lewd way, eyebrows furrowed, with his cherry pink lips caught between his teeth so hard it was bruising, bleeding. His now dark green eyes droopy, clouded with lust and his blonde hair now drenched and stuck flat to his forhead by beads of sweat. Fuck he was so cute like this. Chifuyu's eyes were clouded with lust, staring down at you in awe. Your pretty face only a few breaths away from his cock. He watched as you took him in your soft hands and opened your pretty mouth, breathing on it as your eyes looked up him, fluttering with that slutry look. He couldn't help but groan, head thrown back against the wall.You drag your tongue from the bottom of his shaft up to his tip before wrapping your lips around it. Immediately he let's out a porn worthy groan with his head thrown back against the wall. Both of your hands wrap around the base of his cock strocking him while your mouth suctioned around his sensitive tip, swirling your tongue around and running it across his slit. He hissed and bit the back of his hand to keep himself quiet, the other hand curled at his side in a fist, almost as if he was still scared to touch you.

[screampied]

i had an idea of a talk show between you and me, called “two horny bitches telling each other exactly” and i imagined you with fairy lights all over your body (vegas) and me with, hm, extremely amount of while liquid hiding my face. moving along.

hiii vegas. today i had a busy day, went to work, washed the kitchen because my dog killed a pigeon (he had a funeral, by the way) and i posted something on my profile. it’s been days since i did this, and i’m scared, but my friends here were hyping me up, cute. i really like them.

ok, so officially i am a squirtling!!!! for once in my life.

RIGHT? he always looked weird to me, i couldn’t see pass the gambling and parental issues, but when he came through megumi’s domain in shibuya i was hooked, i was bamboozled, there was nothing in this world that could stop me from the head i was trying to give that man. by the way, after our little chats about him, i got pretty inspired and added him on my work that i posted today. so it will be my little secret that for him to be there it was inspired by you.

no, vegas, the worm isn’t cute!! i could only relate and tolerate that when it called geto mommy. i hate worms and stuff, but i love snakes. small snakes, because if they are too big i’ll fucking die on the spot. i once held a corn snake, and it’s my dream to have once since then, her name would probably be seraphina. no names for males.

well, you can always experiment it. life kinda sucks when you wait for the right moment, you know? i would be your biggest supporter if you randomly decided to wear glittery suits and sing abba all day because that’s funny. you know i have so many regrets with that, waiting, i mean. i lost many chances, so don’t do that. dress how you want!!

do it again!! vegas saying “welcome to vegas” special tickets for your suite to dearest toji and his worm goes to the garbage, please. maybe toji wouldn’t get well in vegas…actually, thinking about it.

time does get by quick, but it’s really cute. one year and many more, please. and yes, i’ll try to put your print on the cake, i think i’ll be funny and cute.

ALSO, WHY VASELINE?

i would probably not bring anything because i am petrified of zombies, so i would just, you know, stop existing. specially tlof zombies, ain’t no way my messy ass is surviving the clickers. zombieland? maybe, because they can be slow, but on the second movie they’ve had a “glow up” (forgot the world) and i would, again, stop existing.

question for today is how many languages do you speak or would like to speak?

nut anon.

HEYYOU 🫵

bye this is so cute stop sign me up. hehe me with fairy lights kekw.

hiiiii lovieee. omg you have a dog? what breed? A PIGEON ????? i remember my dog caught a mouse it his mouth and tried to give it to me like it was a toy pls i screamed. i love dogs 🙂‍↕️. AWWW GOOD FOR U N UR FRIENDS. as you should !!!!!

real omg. tbh the broke jokes are getting old. they’ve been old, but it is kinda funny sometimes. i only call him broke sometimes bc im his wife (ahaha) but in my mind toji’s always rich with pockets swollen 🤗. RESAAALLY I INSPIRED YOU ???? ough ur edging me i wish i could read it but unfortunately i have to wait until oct. 1st to know who you are ….. which is in like ….. twenty days

stop wormyguro is adorable :((((. i wanna squish it so bad. i saw a plushie for the worm on amazon and im so tempted to by it bye. IT LOOKS SO SOFT. pls when it called geto mommy i cried 😭 geto’s face always kills me. SNAKESSSS I LOVE SNAKES. i used to have one named pork chop, he was a kingsnake ough i miss him. seraphina’s such a pretty name !!!!!!

LMAOOODONT TEMPT ME OMG. not the worm going to the garbage that’s so mean :((((. bye imagine toji in vegas that’s actually hilarious.

vaseline bc i don’t want chapped lips while im trying to survive ✋🏽 also vaseline can help with ermmmm wounds yes. gotta stay cute even while on the brink of death ya know

i speak four languages !!! 💓🙂‍↕️ lingala, french, papiamento and kiswahili—english too now, so i guess that would be fiveeee.

[effervescentdragon]

hi! i wanted to ask, would you ever consider writing carlando? i think you'd do a great job of it, and theyre my favorite pairing, so i thought to ask!

anon, im so, so sorry about this. i couldnt get it out of my mind ever since i woke up and came to this hellsite and saw whats happening. the NARRATIVE is too compelling. oops <3

He posts the story. It's for the best. He knows what's going to happen when the news break, and he loves her too much not to do something about the mayhem of some of his "fans" and the inevitable invasion of privacy that will follow. Lando owes her that much, and he doesn't mind. He just wishes there was more he could do.

There is something niggling in his brain when he looks at his lock screen, displaying the date and the time over a picture. It's a sunset on a golf course. It used to be -something different, but he's changed it when his relationship ended. (The time before that, it was also because - a relationship ended. He doesn't think about it.) He checks the clock. Enough time to make it to his first interview.

His notifications start blowing up the moment after. He closes Instagram, and opens the messages with his brother.

god ur stupid

lan wtf

did u even think this through for a second

Lando frowns. His brother knows everything that's been happening, and he's been supportive of his decisions and there for Lando when he was unsure what to do, so the words take Lando by surprise.

wut? mate u know what happened

i dont get it

The reply comes instantly.

tell me, whats the fucking date u idiot

Lando is still frowning. It's September 1st, what is Ollie getting at -

"Oh. Oh. Shit. Shit!"

His eyes widen and he scrambles for his phone. He opens Insta, refreshing it, and the first post that comes up is the official Ferrari post wishing Carlos a happy birthday. Which Lando still hasn't done.

Unless you count anouncing my breaking up with my girlfriend on his birthday as a present, the thought sneaks in, and Lando blanches. He's calling Oliver before he even realizes he's doing it.

'Yes, you stupid fuck,' Oliver answers, and Lando whines.

"I don't - that's not - it's not like that, Ollie, fuck," he says, and his brother laughs at him. "I didn't - I forgot -"

'Hmm,' his brother hums. He can hear the baby doing the baby-speak in the background. 'Did you now?'

"Yes!" Lando tugs on his hair. "I knew today was something - like, I knew it was an important day somehow, thats why I wanted to post this today, but like, I couldn't fucking remember what it was," he whines. "Oh God, they're all gonna - fuck, the PR is going to kill me, fuck!" He starts panicking a bit, he won't lie. "Fuck, they're gonna - I'm so stupid," he moans and concentrates on not having a panic attack.

'Lando,' his brother says with fucking - meaningful emphasis. 'Would seeing the baby help you calm down and not have a complete mental breakdown about being in love with your best friend and former teammate?'

"I'm not," he tries to say, then huffs when Ollie outright snorts at him. He can hear the baby repeating the snort and then giggling. He leans his head on the wall. "It might," he says sullenly, and Ollie laughs and turns his camera on, and Lando spends the next fifteen minutes waving at a semi-interested baby and avoiding his brother's knowing gaze.

It calms him down enough not to die of embarrasment when his PR officer bursts into his room and takes his phone away without another word, typing on it furiously and then pocketing it. He swallows down any protest he might have head when they look at him like they'll stomp on him if he dares speak another word. It's probably for the best, really.

McLaren should really hire better PR people, he thinks. At least Charlotte knew what she was doing. Oh wait, they probably won't have money after they pay out Danny, he thinks, and then makes himself not think about anything, because it's time for his interview, and he has to concentrate not to be a complete and utter disaster. As if that ship hasn't sailed a long time ago, his mind supplies. Fuck.

***

He avoids the invasive questions as best as possible. His friends on the grid already knew about it, so he's spared any sympathetic talk. (All knew, except one, and Lando refuses to think about that.) He compliments George's outfit, and spends some time talking to Danny. He is so tired of the drama and the fuckery. He's tired in general, and they're not even like, halfway through the triple fucking header.

"Hola, Landito," comes the voice from behind him, and his stupid, silly heart speeds up, like it always fucking does. "And hello, Daniel."

Lando turns around, and there Carlos is, looking like a fucking Disney prince, with his perfect hair gleaming in the sunlight and the stupid Ferrari shirt tight over his perfect shoulders and his perfect fucking forearms.

"Hi, Carlos," he manages to say in a completely normal tone. "How are you?"

Danny takes one look at Lando, then laughs out loud and fist-bumps Carlos.

"Hey man, happy birthday, I gotta run, catch you guys later," Danny says, and Lando kinda wants to punch him a bit. Then he's gone, and it's just Lando and Carlos. Stupid, perfect, handsome Carlos, who has a birthday today which Lando completely forgot about.

"So, happy -"

"I'm sorry -"

They speak at the same time, and break off simultaneously. Lando hates how nice Carlos' smile is. He looks around, not even noticing the surrounding, so that he wouldn't like, get lost in Carlos' eyes or something. Carlos waves his hand, indicating Lando should go first.

"Happy birthday," Lando says. "I'm sorry I forgot your present."

Carlos hums and reaches for Lando's cap. He flicks it, and smiles wide, and Lando can feel his cheeks flush. Fucking Carlos. (He would. He doesn't dare think it properly, but fuck, he would.)

"Did you forget it?" Carlos asks, and his accent is familiar, and so hot to Lando, the careful intent with which he speaks every word. "I thought I got my present this morning," he says, and Lando can feel himself blush. "It was quite a surprise, since I didn't know about it," he goes on, and there is an undercurrent of hurt in his words, and fuck, Lando should've told him before, or something. "But I liked it despite everything," Carlos says, and steps only a tiny bit closer. "I only wonder, if it hurts you, then I will not like it, nor will I mention it again."

Lando looks into Carlos' eyes; really looks. Who the fuck says 'nor' and doesn't sound like an asshole, he thinks. Carlos, that's who. Carlos, who is Lando's best friend, but not quite. Carlos, who is always patient with Lando, and always kind to Lando, and always there to listen to Lando when he needs it.

Carlos, who Lando has been in love with probably since he was nineteen years old.

Lando swallows heavily around a lump in his throat. His eyes flicker away from Carlos', and he sees his PR manager waving him over. Fuck. They don't have time.

"I'll - I'm sorry for not telling you," he says quickly. "I need to go, but, we can, fuck, I don't know," he huffs in frustration, because he has no idea what his plans are, and Carlos probably has his own plans.

"Lando," Carlos says calmly, and steps closer, and hugs Lando. It takes Lando a second to catch up, but then he smells Carlos, same as always, steady, wonderful Carlos, and he hugs him back, and his heart races but his mind quiets down, and he clutches at Carlos' shirt.

"We can have dinner tonight," Carlos says, and it's not quite a question, but it's also not a statement. Lando inhales the scent from Carlos' neck, and nods against the material of his shirt, not daring to touch his skin, because he knows he won't be able to stop. "And we can - we can talk."

"Yeah," he says. "Yeah, Carlos, yeah."

When they separate, Carlos' smile is blinding in the Holland sun. Lando can't help but smile back, and think that maybe, maybe, it may all turn out alright.

Maybe, he isn't an utter and complete disaster.

***

"We have a long future ahead of us (...) relationships change (...)"

"If anything, I feel like my relationship with Lando has improved (...) we can openly speak more about (...) feelings."

***

[littlefreya]

The Kitten & the Bear - Part 1

Intro: This story is a collab and was written by both @wolvesandhoundshowltogether​ and I. It was born out of a fun role play we have going on. We ended up having so much a fun with this particular idea that we thought we should post it as a 3 part story and share it with the rest!

| Read Part 2  | Read Part 3 |

Summary: After a night of drinking in town get Walter’s bratty wife ends up with pure chaos and the overprotective grumpy husband is having none of her shenanigans. 

Pairing: Detective Walter Marshall x OFC (first person pov) 

Word count: 3k

Warnings: Bratty behaviour, vandalism, dominant overprotectiveness, BDE, husband stalking his wife, sexual innuendo, dirty inappropriate talks, mentions of sex and oral, weed and alcohol usage. Sex in the next parts :D Walter is a Boomer. 

A/N: We didn’t beta it and did transform it from 2nd to 1st person POV, really hoping you guys will enjoy it as we did. Feel free to share your thoughts. 

Title: The Kitten & the Bear

Nothing chilled my heart more than waking up in an empty bed. Walter was already gone, leaving his side of the mattress cold and abandoned. A heavy sigh broke from my lips, I stroked the ghost of the kiss that still tingled on my cheek, knowing he planted it there before heading to work. 

Sadness seeped into my heart as I realised I won't see him today. Our work scheduled conflicted and I have scheduled a "date night" with my girls in the evening. Picking up my phone, I texted him a pouty emoji and then headed to get my day started.

Walter left me on read, which just fuelled the brat in me. When he called during his lunch break, he was taciturn as usual, and most of the call was about his disapproval of us girls going out without at least one male friend or a boyfriend to chaperone.

"Oh my god, Walter, this is not the 50s! Women can leave their house without a husband tagging along!" I grunted and berated him, "stop acting like someone is going to kidnap me!!! I'm an adult woman!" I snapped at him while sitting at the cafe. People sitting around stared quietly as I hung up the phone, and stormed out.

~~~

Walter looked at his mobile phone, shocked. He couldn't even remember the last time someone hung up on him, let along his wife.

"Fucking brat," he muttered as he pocketed it. 

After lunch, he went into the precinct. Since it was flu season and they were having a shortage of uniformed officers, he volunteered to patrol tonight. Assuming he might even be able to check up on me wherever I get to town. Just to keep me safe. That's right. Not from jealousy. Not because I'll be all dolled up and tipsy and every man in the vicinity will ogle me.

~~~

As the evening loomed, I was in dire need of letting loose. Walter had left me incredibly frustrated, acting like a police officer from hell rather than my husband. Going through my closet, I stumbled upon the most outrageous piece of wardrobe: a black strappy thing with corset details at the front. The same one I've worn for our first date which of course ended up with Walter and I dry humping like two horny teenagers at the back of his truck and him eating me out until I came all over his beard 4 times. 

I slapped a dark red lipstick and put on a pair of red "fuck me" pumps before leaving to meet the gals in a new night club that had just opened. I might or might not have a rolled-up joint in my purse.

~~~

Walter was sitting in a patrol vehicle on the opposite side of the street from the new fancy club with translucent walls. We were all sitting beside the window at a small table full of cocktail glasses, but the girls were gesturing toward the dance floor. Walter chose a dark spot on the street to park the car and was wearing a beanie. 

But he didn't need it. He knew I was oblivious to him and also to the men staring at me from 3 different tables. He ground his teeth frustrated when he first noticed that I was wearing that dress. His blood boiled as I was slowly sipping a cocktail with a sexy little pout around the long straw.

"Let's dance!!! I wanna dance!!!" I whined at my friend Keylah, grabbing her wrist and dragging her with me. My posture was slightly unstable after two cocktails and probably not enough food to pad my belly. She followed me to the dance floor while Stephanie remained in her seat, talking to some guy just for the sake of trolling. He'd been hitting on each one of us unsuccessfully. 

After an hour of dancing with Keylah, swaying my ass in ways that didn't leave any imagination to the men lurking, I remembered the little treat I had in my purse and decided we should take a small break to breathe some fresh air. 

I grabbed the girls, and we walked outside.

"Okay, don't you dare mention this to Walter," I warned them as I took the joint out from my purse.

"Daddy Magnum gonna punish you?" Steph teased while I lit the weed. 

"Oh, you have no idea, he gave me shit about seeing you tonight without a male chaperone, like this is Mad Man or something." 

"Woah! Walter is a boomer!!!" Keylah teased, and we all laughed hysterically. 

~~~

Unbeknownst to me, Walter was watching us dance from his patrol car, getting more and more frustrated by the hour. He observed as I gathered both girls and came out on the street, walking a couple of meters away from the entrance. A frown fell on his face as he saw me taking a lighter out from my purse.

"She doesn't even smoke, what the hell?" he fumed. 

His eyes widened when he saw the telltale shape of a joint between my fingers. His mouth was agape as I lit it up and started smoking and passing it around. "What the fuck? Where did she get that?" he muttered incredulously.

'It's fucking illegal in Minnesota, what the fuck? A cop's wife at that!' He thought, rage simmering in his gut.  

The police radio suddenly began buzzing, the sergeant calling on the line. 

"Hey Marshall, Toby came in for the night shift after all. Do you want him to keep you company?" 

'And see Walter's wife going to town on a spliff? No fucking way.' 

"No, Sarge, thanks. It's uh... calm tonight." He frowned from afar. "Nothing but law-abiding citizens," he replied, hoping his sarcasm didn't go through while he was watching the wife of a respected detective drunk and smoking weed in the great outdoors.

"All right" the sarge concluded and cut the line, and Walter put back the radio.

‘Un-fucking-believable.'

~~~

The girls and I fell into a fit of wild giggles, thoroughly buzzed and high at the same time. My skirt rode up my thighs, and I didn't even bother fixing it as the combination of drugs and alcohol made me frivolous and careless. 

"Is Walter such a nerd in bed too? Is he one of those guys who won't even make a sound because they are ashamed of it?" Stephanie asked to which I immediately snorted.

"Walter fucks like a beast from hell," I answered and put off the remains of the joint against the heel of my shoe. 

"I had to go to the gyno at least four times in the past because he was too violent, and trust me, the noise he makes, luckily no one called the police yet…" 

"Jennifer, your husband is the police!" Keylah answered, and we burst into another fit of giggles which then gradually died down. 

The same man who bugged us from before followed us outside, giving us some stares and making a suckling voice with his lips. I snorted at him and told him to fuck off before putting my arms around my girls. 

"This place sucks, let's go grab something to eat from the store, if Walter sees me like this I will NEVER hear the end of it".

~~~

Walter was watching us walk away, still furious about my illicit behaviour. He promised himself that he'd have a serious conversation with me about this tomorrow. He gave us two blocks of a head start and then ignited the engine of the car and made a U-turn, slowly he rolled towards the store and saw us enter. He made another U-turn in front of the store to park across the street. He just hoped that we'll buy some nachos and a coke and then call it a night, and call a cab to go home.

~~~

It was close to 1am. We barged into the store, marching through as if we owned the place. Keylah stopped by the condoms section and threw a bottle of lube in my direction. "Here you go, Jennifer, you gonna need it".

I laughed and threw it back at her, grabbing a bag of chips and a bottle of water. 

"Better fuck his brains before he starts asking where you've been tonight," Stephanie added. 

"Can you girls please behave?" The clerk-lady requested politely, giving us a prudent look. I rolled my eyes at her and then stopped short as I saw a large stuffed grizzly bear that reminded me of Walter. I grabbed it and hugged it tightly just as I got the sudden urge to misbehave.

"Girls…" I whispered, making them come closer, "bet you a 20 I can sneak this out without paying!"

~~~

Walter's shoulders slumped, and he let out an irritated groan when he saw one of the girls throwing things inside the store. Though, he sighed in relief when I paused this stupid game, and a small smile tugged the edge of his mouth when I hugged a huge stuffed bear that reached down to my thighs and was high above the top of my head as I squeezed it to my torso. 

The way I looked at the bear reminded him of the loving looks I always gave him. But a sense of foreboding assaulted him as we started whispering and pointed at the door.

~~~

"Okay, okay… shush!" I whispered way too obvious and held the stuffed animal behind my back.

"Hey Keylah, can you pay for my chips?" I asked and backed away toward the door, nearly stumbling on my heels and holding the laughter in my gut. 

Noticing my attempt, the old woman cleared her throat, giving me a glare, "You are going to have to pay for that or I will call the police…"

"Her husb…"

"Shut up, Stephanie!" Keylah shouted and threw a bottle of lube in her direction, accidently hitting my shoulder, which made me drop the bear on the floor. 

"Key, you fucking bitch!!!" I answered and picked up the bottle, throwing it back at her. 

"Hey stop that!!!!" The clerk demanded and walked back behind the counter, picking up her phone. 

We ignored her, laughing like schoolgirls and throwing the bottle back and forth between us. Boxes of tampons and condoms fell to the floor as we moved through the hygiene section shouting playfully. 

As Keylah threw the bottle at me for the 12th time, I lifted it and threw it so hard it hit the window and broke it, causing the store's alarm to go off immediately.

"Oh… fu……..ck" I uttered.

~~~

"Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no," Walter panicked as he saw us vandalising the store. He was immediately ready to jump out of the car, but then it would be obvious he'd been keeping an eye on me. He had to wait for the call. 

He wasn't even hoping that the clerk would not involve the police in the matter. She has to. ‘Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck.’ 

When he saw the lady picking up the phone, he buried his face in his palms and rubbed it tiredly.

"Stupid, fucking bitches" he sighed, not believing his wife being so reckless. 

He picked up the buzzing radio and said, "Marshall. I'm here. On it." 

Without delay, he took the beanie off and got out of the car with his badge and gun ready.

~~~

Fingers dug into my hair, I stared wide-eyed at the broken window, immediately regretting all my decisions in the last couple of hours. 

'Walter was going to fucking kill me'. 

"I am soooooooo……." I began to say, turning to the clerk slowly while Keylah and Steph held their hands over their mouths. "So sorry." I stretched out while the alarm continued ringing in my ears. 

Then just like out of a nightmare, stepping through shards of broken glass with his big black boots, I saw Walter walking in, his brows knit together, his badge and his gun held out but kept low. He was enormous and menacing, yet the sight of him comforted me.

"Oh thank god, it's you!" I call out relieved.

~~~

The glass cracked beneath his steps as he walked in. He looked around and checked the store for cameras. 'Fuck, there were CCTVs'. 

He hoped to snatch me away and take care of the situation without involving... well himself but now that there was evidence it wasn't possible anymore. I was looking at him like a frightened little girl, but he couldn't help me, and frankly, he didn't feel like it either.

He looked at the clerk, showed her his badge and said in a neutral tone "MPD. What seems to be the problem?" 

~~~

My breath hitched at his "cop voice" and the way he asked the clerk. 

Stepping back and standing in the middle of the group, the three of us gaped at him with utter dumbfoundedness. Both my heart and gut dropped to the messy floor out of fear, and the way he carried himself, looking so menacing and authoritative made my panties drenched with arousal. 

"Officer, thank god you arrived! These three tried to steal a stuffed animal and started wreaking havoc in the store, throwing stuff around like children and speaking offensively!" The old woman explained and stood in the middle of the mess, looking helpless. 

My eyes rounded with false innocence, and I nibbled my bottom lip, giving Walter a vulnerable look. 

Walter was patiently listening to the clerk. Not a muscle flinched on his face as if he'd known everything. He took his notebook and a report form out and took care of the paperwork. 

The old lady eyed the three of us nervously while Walter was scribbling, and she hesitantly asked, "I'm sorry, Officer, but shouldn't you handcuff them? They might run."

Walter's curly head lifted, and he flashed the lady a small smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Don't worry, ma'am. They won't run."

"Is he serious?" Steph whispered, and I elbowed her, giving Walter a rather pissed off smile as he pretended not to know us at all and treated me like any other criminal.

Was it that just for show? Probably. We were going to have a serious talk about boundaries once we'd get home.

Walter finished writing his report and made the lady sign it before turning to look at the three of us, clenching his jaw. 

After a long, stern silence, I finally spoke, "Can I still get the teddy bear?"

Walter's nostrils flared as he dug into his pocket, pulled out a 20-dollar bill, slammed it on the counter and said to the clerk "For the bear."

At first, the lady was dumbfounded, then she blurted out outraged "Why are you buying a gift for a criminal?"

Walter didn't even spare her a look. He picked up the bear and looked at me with unflinching, stern eyes that made all three of us take a step backwards.

"Because she's my fucking wife."

The tone of his voice made the three of us startle, and I released a small gasp, seeing the look on his face. Walter made a gesture with his hand singling us to walk out of the store in order, and we did as he commanded. At the same time, my eyes gave him a mischievous smirk, mistaking this behaviour for a show.

Walter left the store last and immediately commanded, "To the car".

When we got there on the opposite side of the street, he opened the car and shoved the teddy bear on the passenger seat, then turned back, crossed his hands on his chest, and looked at all three of us. 

"Here's how it's gonna happen. We go in the precinct, fill out the forms, you stay the night, and most likely will be charged with a misdemeanour. Although the weed might be more problematic." He glared at me pointedly. 

The girls and I collectively gasped. 

"Now get in the back seat, all of you."

With shuddering legs, Keylah and Steph obediently entered the patrol car. I stared at Walter as he stood there towering over me, his massive arms crossed around his broad chest.

Still intoxicated, I looked at him with disbelief, realising two things: he arrived at the scene in less than two minutes after the lady called the police, which is impossible. And two, he couldn't possibly know I had weed on me unless… 

"Were you stalking me?!" I called out, ignoring the police officer and speaking to my husband. My hands went to my hips, my face sulking. 

"Oh my god, Walter! You were! Weren't you?" I frowned and shook my head, grunting with disgust.

"You are in no position to reproach me for anything right now", Walter said, seemingly calm. "But if you wanna know, I was patrolling in the neighbourhood and decided to check up on you. I saw the way you were shaking your ass for strangers" he spat, but he let his eyes roam the tight dress, and the way he subtly licked his lips made me sure he remembered exactly which dress it was.

"Do as you're fucking told and get in the car or you're gonna find yourself in even bigger trouble." 

"Oh my god, Walter!!! Are you fucking kidding me?!" I yelled at him and stepped back, throwing my hands in the air furiously.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!! MY OWN HUSBAND STALKING ME?! What's next Walter? You gonna put an ankle bracelet thingy on me, so I don't get to leave the house without your fucking permission?!"

I got so angry, my hands pushed at his chest, to which he didn't even budge, and only his jaw tightened.

"I am NOT getting into that car, and you are going to let Keylah and Steph go before you are going to be in trouble!"

Keylah and Steph were both watching with utter fascination as they saw the growing tension in Walter's posture.

Once Keylah and Steph were inside the car, they felt like the immediate danger was over. Their drunkenness and high made them reckless again and they started cheering me in the verbal fight with my husband.

Walter was on the verge of bursting, it was evident from his face. He took a menacing step towards me and despite my anger, a pang of arousal shot in my core.

"Get. in the. fucking. car" he growled in a barely audible voice. He gave me one last chance to voluntarily obey him.

I moved closer toward him, my head tilting up to meet his menacing gaze, my breasts ghostly brushing against his hard torso.

"I am not going anywhere with you," I answered unflinchingly. "Keep this attitude up, and the whole town will get to enjoy me swaying this ass long before you do." I teasingly slapped my own ass and then smirked arrogantly as I heard the girls cheering at the backseat

"That's it."

Quick as lightning, Walter's hands uncrossed and shot out. He grabbed my arms, turned me around with dizzying speed and slammed my torso down on the hood of the police car.

"Jennifer Marshall, you are under arrest for destruction of property, public intoxication and obstruction of a law enforcement officer."

I gasped incredulously as I felt the metal handcuffs closing on my wrists while Walter was performing his duty automatically and methodically. I'd never seen him make an arrest, let alone manhandle me like this.

With my cheek pressed against the cold metal, I could see both Keylah and Steph gape at us, eyes and mouth wide with daze. 

Still intoxicated, I hissed as a shiver of fear and sexual arousal shot through my spine, creeping all the way down to my throbbing core. 

"What the fuck are you doing?!" I cried out in protest. "I am your wife!"

My attempt to stand up brought my ass to collide with his crotch, where I felt the unmistakable throb of his blood circulating down to his groin. 

"Are you also getting the feeling that they're gonna fuck?" Steph whispered to Keylah, loud enough for us to hear.

"Shush!" she answered and stared, licking her lips. 

"Let me go, you fucking pig!" I screamed and squirmed on the hood helplessly. 

"Anything you say will be held against you in the court of law" Walter continued in his deep cop voice as if I hadn't even spoken.

"Say his dick, girl!" Keylah shouted, and Steph wooed, but they quickly shut up and resorted to concealed giggling as Walter shot angry eyes at them. He stepped closer to secure his hold on the handcuffs, and I felt the warm coarse material of his jeans at the back of my thighs.

"If you don't want to add resisting arrest and possession of narcotics to your offences, shut the fuck up and stop squirming."

"Fuck” I hissed, which didn't go unnoticed by Walter. My ass naturally shifted against his hardening bulge, and I moaned gently, not loud enough for the girls to hear but definitely heard by Walter, who had his hand around my cuffed wrists.

"You're enjoying this, big guy?" I spit out sardonically, "controlling your wife like you always want to, hmm?"

With the alcohol flushing through my veins, mingled with the sheer exhilaration of anger, I became more daring than ever.

"I think you are just scared because we both know you are never going to tame me."

[otherone12]

Why Me?

Gerard Way × Reader

-> Masterlist

A/N: Hey!! Does anyone really read this?? Well, now I'm not on vacation anymore, so I'll end up posting less frequently. I didn't like this one, but... hope u enjoy it (Ray x Reader fic coming soon <3) 

Summary: You finally get the chance to meet your favorite comic artist, you just didn't know that he would end up finding your nervousness cute enough to ask you to go out with him.

- Word Count: 1.310

- Warnings: none :)

- Ps: I'll not use y/n…

- Ps2: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language ... sorry if i wrote something wrong.

___________________________________________

1st Person POV:

I’ve waited for so long to finally meet the man who inspired me. I've been into his work since I was a teenager and everytime i wasn’t feeling well, his comics made my day better. Also, he’s really pretty and in all the interviews I've seen of him, he looks so cute.

I’m actually spending all my savings just to go to that event and don’t even know how I'm gonna act when I see him, I mean, I will probably laugh like crazy, stutter some compliments or fall unconscious on the floor. 

However, I convinced my best friend to go with me, so I won't be so embarrassed, or at least not alone if I do something weird.

- You’re sure you’re ready? - My friend asked me when we’re in the row. - ‘Cause you look like you’re about to explode. 

They chuckled and I got a bit more nervous than I already was, the feeling of being that transparent made me uncomfortable. 

- I’m fine… - I said, swallowing hard and breathing deeply. - I just don’t know what to say 

Looking around, I saw that the line was moving quickly and soon it would be our turn to get an autograph and take a picture. 

- To him? 

Wasn’t that the most obvious question in the world?

- Yeah, who else? 

- I don’t know, I mean, you’ve been obsessed with him since you’re like fifteen, right? - They said it in a normal voice tone, but it seems like they’re screaming, so i immediately turned red - And don’t know what to tell him?

A week ago I started to practice in front of the mirror of my room, trying to imagine possible scenes with Gerard, but I will never never told anyone about it. 

- Shut up! -I hit my elbow on their shoulder in desperation and fear that someone had heard, even though he was too far away to hear anything. - I’m not obsessed with him, I admire him a lot. Just that.

- Sure… - The sarcasm made me want to respond, but the cut with the next sentence took my focus away from our conversation. - Look, we’re next

 Even when the person in front of us was taking the photo with Gerard, I looked ahead and I could see him. I swear he looked at me at the same time and my reaction was look away and widen my eyes at my friend

- Holy shit… WHAT SHOULD I SAY?

- Try something like “hi, i'm your fan” - this contrast between us was very strange, on the one hand I was freaking out, but on the other, they was acting as if Gerard Fucking Way was just any guy. - And act normal, please.

In less than a second I felt my body heat up, the closer I got, the more tense I became. I tried unsuccessfully to look into his eyes, but I couldn't maintain my focus for long. 

My stomach filled with butterflies when I heard his voice. Even though I've heard it on the radio several times, it's a totally different experience.

- Hey! 

It took me a few seconds to try to open my mouth, but my brain stopped working. A short awkward moment that felt like hours was cut away.

- Hi! - My friend, who apparently didn’t see Gerard as a celebrity said. without thinking about what i wanted them to say - They're huge fan of you! Like, they don't stop to talk about you for at least a second

- HEY! - I gasped with fright when they finished speaking -T-that’s not true! I mean, I'm your fan, but it’s not like I’m weird or something. 

My scream turned into an almost whisper, which was almost drowned out by the sounds of the environment. 

- That's okay. - He said with a chuckle. - You want a picture?

His sweet and inviting look made me want to hug him, and when he extended his arm towards me I couldn't help but blush even more.

- Sure! 

He wrapped his arms around my body and my friend took a picture of us. My heart was racing and the smell of coffee that he was emitting wasn’t helping me to calm down. 

- So…- He took my comic to sign it, and when he looked at me again, to my surprise, he noticed my Star Wars shirt. - i like your shirt 

- Thanks!

-This will probably sound weird, but… are you free after the event?

I gave him a shy smile and heard my friend giggling by my side. I thought that was my imagination, but i blinked twice and had the clue that Gerard Was has a light blush on his face.

It was a little embarrassing when we exchanged glances, but even stranger than that was the question that came next.

He reached out to hand me the comic and I looked him straight in the eyes.

- I-I am… why?

I took the comic and put it in my purse, without breaking eye contact. 

- Maybe… if you don’t mind… we could go out for a coffee? 

Standing in front of him, I froze. It's not like I don't love the idea, but I know myself well enough to know that I'm definitely going to say something stupid without thinking.

- THEY’RE SUPER IN!

My friend responded before I had the chance. His gaze passed from my friend to me, and his smile grew worried as he seemed to think about the truth of the statement.

- Really? - I asked, still in disbelief that Gerard Way asked me out. 

- If you're up for that… - He put his hand behind his neck, looking at the floor and sounding a little more shy than he had moments before. - Look, if you don’t want to…

- Of course I'm in! 

I tried hard to keep my posture, but the shine in his eyes hit my heart so hard and I smiled, feeling my face burn again.

- We met at the front door in three hours? 

- I’ll be there…

*** time skip ***

After a large amount of people left the place, i finally saw gerard at the door, he was looking around, i assumed that he was looking for me, cause when his eyes meet mine, a tiny smile forms in his lips.

I approached him, avoiding one or another person who appeared on the way.

- You came!

He said, with a relieved sight.

- Yeah! - He opened the door and we started to move to the coffee shop - I mean, It's not often that your idol asks you out, right?

There were few people on the street and the atmosphere was pleasant. Walking next to him was very strange, because at the same time it was something incredible that I had always dreamed of, but on the other hand, it didn't seem real. It was like I was going to wake up at any moment.

- I don’t know… sounds like the perfect one to describe you, in my vision.

- “Idol” is a strong word, don’t you think?

He chuckled a little and I tried not to look like I was fawning over him.

- Why me? - His confused gaze made me explain even more what i was talking about - There were like, a lot of people, why me?

- If you say so…

After a few minutes of walking, we arrived at the coffee shop and, like a gentleman, he opened the door. my heart started to jump in my chest when he chose a table with two seats, facing each other, next to the window.

A friendly girl took our orders and I asked him a question that had been on my mind since the moment Gerard asked me to have coffee with him.

- To be honest… You’re so pretty and looked so nervous, I found it really attractive.

___________________________________________

- Damn i feel like those awful tiktok POVs

We laughed, really loud, and it feels like we knew each other for a century.

~Well, that's it... hope you liked :)

[heffrondriving]

I'm sorry if this is a little assholely but after seeing your vent post I went looking for where you said to not tag names and the only place I saw it was at the end of your very long tags,, so assuming i didnt miss another more obvious place...? Have you thought of just putting that in the post itself? Because anyone who's seeing it second hand (as in seeing it after someone else rebloged it) won't see that tag + not everyone reads tags, you know :( sorry that it makes you uncomfortable but if you put it somewhere more visible, like in the body of the post, then at least people def will see it. Sending love either way 💕

nahhh nothing to be sorry for issall totally cool and encouraged and you are very kind,, tbh i was lowkey waiting around for something like this and i'm kinda glad for it and also surprised it's not at least fifty times worse??? in all honesty i think i am in dire need and deserving of the hardest dose of criticism at this point for all the stupid messy personal posts i make on a sleep-deprived whim, as i am fully aware that this is not the place for it, and i am and should never be exempt from getting my necessary comeuppance should it arise. and like i said, this quandary was completely of my own fault. i have made my stance on personal comfort posts clear numerous times before and only put them in subtler places like the end of my annoying-ass rambly tags because i really don't wanna bother people with something that sounds so trivially inconsequential, and it makes me incredibly anxious to add them in the post itself (as i reckon it just outright ruins the whole content and that's such a selfish and gross thing for me to do personally,, like who tf am i to ask anything of anyone ech :-/). but this is still my sole responsibility to properly handle and conduct myself online, and i'm so sorry if i came across like i'm attempting to pass the blame for my own self-implicated neglect, as no one else should be subject to dealing with my mistakes. (like no joke i screamed aloud when i read that you looked through my posts or tags??? PLS LICHRALLY NEVER DO THAT EVER THAT'S A VV BAD IDEA ACTUAL ONLINE EQUIVALENT OF DUMPSTER DIVING VIBES EXCEPT THE DUMPSTER'S ON FIRE AND CAUSES MAJOR BRAINROTOFFISITIS!!!!! (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`))

i've had a well-needed rest hrk composed myself, deleted my prev post (i'm also thinking of removing the post that spurred it just to be sure, t'was super terrible anyway lmao), and muted my notifs for the time being, so please do feel free to tag anything however you wish at this point—i know i'm making an absolute fool out of myself for this full 180 departure (just in time for april 1st tho so swings and roundabouts-) but yeah that's completely fine idk, and if my walnut brain has anything otherwise to say abt it they will be catching These Hands according to the Fists Of Fury Code!!!!! ᕦ(ò皿óᕦ) but in all seriousness, emotional dysregulation is the absolute worst but i understand that maybe i can't really set boundaries for something fully well out of my control, so i just give up the ghost on this bc what else is there to do. c'est la vie if it sucks for me, tough shit @ self tough it out bebs u asked for this :^) though i hopefully can, however, keep everything else out of sight and out of mind so that i don't have to deal with the self-imposed repercussions by willingly setting my triggers off and lashing out incessantly. like mmm that's toxic shit girlie no one wants that here bls get u some therapy pare *whaps myself with an abaniko fan*. it's 100% on me if i choose to expand the tags on my notifs, and what happens in other ppl's blogs should be none of my fucking business and i'm just a super nosy lurker goblin sometimes ig exhibit a: this is what being a chronic cave hermit does to the human psyche. irreversible damage u.......*steven he voice* EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!!!!! my sincerest apologies again for all the trouble and i really hope this answer doesn't come off as too sardonic or acerbic or anything of the sort, i know i goof a lot but i really do mean all of it, even if trying to convey appropriate tone indication in text form is so whack 😩

also i'm really sorry for this mf ten-volume novel series of an answer (i really hope no one's insane enough to actually read this....whatever the hell this is .-.). thank you so much for your patience and understanding, and please keep the love and give it to another funky cool blog who's worthy of it and not deserving of getting squished like a pestilent vermin under your steel-toed bootheel!! /lh ~(இ௰இ~) anywayyy let's ignore (slash unfollow hardblock permanent dni etc. etc....very good ideas, those, bc if i could block myself i would without hesitation smh get this chernobyl elephant's foot outta my feed) this and my other inane bullshittery and let bygones be bygones and go back to our silly manband content, shall we??? this blog is for no-braincell shits and pure dumbassery first and foremost i promise......also i have more poorly-made sh!tposts and kendall's pretty grampa face stuff which i wanna plague the btr tag with if that's still allowed pls ¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯

(^^^ i can't believe i actually got to use this gif for something sdjsfjksd)

[vtforpedro]

LONG POST, medical update. ptsd, suicide TW: I’m really tired. I feel like I’ve been saying that for a year but I am exhausted. mind, body and soul exhausted my head got better after I lost the water weight my chemo pill was packing on (I was 15lbs lighter than the three weeks previously. so it was pretty bad lol) but now it’s getting bad again. it never gets to the point of relief, but it gets manageable and now it’s becoming unmanageable again. it’s not water weight but it might be cause I’ve put on a couple pounds over the holidays (just barely a couple pounds, I’m eating much lighter in general) anyway I don’t see the point of being scared to name what it is my neurosurgeon and I believe this is anymore. my psychiatrist thinks it makes sense, my pcp, even the ER doctor I saw on dec. 2nd lol but I am 99.9% sure this is what I have and it does makes sense but every fucking time I think about it for a while it makes me so angry. so so so angry y’all. I wish I could sit every single medical professional I interacted with over the last year or so who didn’t believe me and tell them it’s all been real, they failed me to such a degree I have ptsd and anger problems that I’m going to need therapy for, and tell them to learn how to be better providers. blegh so I saw my neurosurgeon (one of the best in the country) for the first time in april. his thoughts? anxiety with muscle tension in my back and neck that led to tension in my head. as in the muscles around my bones, not inside of my skull. didn’t listen to me or believe me, thought all my crazy symptoms were just anxiety and possibly the chiari malformation but there’s no treatment for that beyond surgery and mine is so mild no one wants to go that route (me most of all lmao) I put off seeing him again because I saw different neurologists and my PCP over the months who basically all said the same thing. like my PCP believed me and gave me referrals to the neuros, but one told me to ‘stop worrying about this and just enjoy life’ and the other sat with me for an hour, the first half of which she was all on board the ‘anxiety is fucking with you, none of this is real’ train until I had to tell her to LISTEN TO MY SYMPTOMS firmly enough that she did. she went the opposite way then and said yeah ok something ‘mechanical’ is happening, you need to go back to a neurosurgeon. turned out she loves the neurosurgeon I saw in april (worship the ground he walks on, were her words) but told me maybe I still needed a second opinion. she did also mention that I’ve been living with this for so long that I’m ‘married to it now’ which still implies I’m making it worse than it actually is but :) whatever, she couldn’t think of what it could be decided to just go back to that neurosurgeon and tell him the physical therapy he prescribed in april I had to stop because it made things worse. his PA tried to prescribe me more PT on the phone before I firmly told her I needed to SPEAK with him face to face because my quality of life is gone, because I get close to killing myself weekly because of how bad this is and nothing has improved since april. only gotten worse. so I had my appt with him in late October I think? I explained all of my symptoms (again) and told him how nothing has changed, things have gotten worse, when I do x y z I have an episode, etc etc. he said he still doesn’t think it’s the chiari but he said it *might* be IIH idiopathic intracranial hypertension first time I’ve ever heard of it and even though it was over 11 months into this, it might just save my life now that I have idiopathic = we don’t fucking know why this happens, intracranial = HAPPENING IN MY SKULL AND BRAIN, hypertension = technically high blood pressure, but for here just high pressure cause my BP is good it is rare, it is unknown why people get it and why others don’t, it is most common in women of child bearing age who are obese. the thought is that the weight on the body causes the brain to very slightly inflate, decreasing spinal fluid flow and increasing pressure in the brain, sometimes CAUSING a chiari malformation to appear, which can cause other symptoms on top of IIH it used to be called pseudotumor cerebri because IIH makes the brain behave like it has a tumor while no tumor is actually present (which means normal MRI/CT scans and the main reason everyone told me I was faking it) I gained 80lbs in less than two years due to severe depression and ptsd. I’ve been at the same weight for almost two years now and was at that weight in Feb 2019 before things started happening in Dec 2019. sometimes it does just come on one day. it can be chronic, it can randomly go into remission and come back, and they have no idea why it even happens. it’s rare enough that no neurologist I saw could even think of it. rare enough that one of the best neurosurgeons in the country didn’t think of it until he decided he believed me lol he leans even more heavily into this because I gained weight so quickly (one of the hallmarks of getting IIH) and I had not a single symptom like it before the weight gain I don’t trust anything or anyone right now and I am extremely pessimistic and have no hope. but the one thing that’s given me a little hope, that’s made me believe this is what I have, is the fucking wikipedia page on IIH. it lists one specific symptom that I’ve seen nowhere else (and is EXTREMELY specific lmao) that I have and that everyone thought I was crazy explaining. beyond destroying your quality of life, the one thing IIH can do is cause permanent blindness. I’ve had a fuck ton of problems with my vision since this all started happening. one of the worst is that if I’m in the middle of an episode and I look up or to the left, it makes it h u r t and makes the episode worse. which is on the wikipedia page! which explains why I couldn’t fucking do EMDR therapy which involves rapid eye movement from side to side :) :) :) even my therapist was thinking this was all in my head and I was just letting my anxiety tell me EMDR would send my head into an episode instead of it actually happening lmaaaao god I am so angry y’all my mom and my uncle The Doctor wanted to commit me in March/April. I had an entire ER nurses station mock me for ten minutes for coming in repeatedly and having bizarre symptoms that, because they were unexplained, they thought I was faking. they belittled me when talking to me. one put the tv remote (no tv in the room) instead of the call button in my hand when I was too out of it to notice. the ER doctor that day told me I was making up a story, none of this was real, and to continue seeing my psychiatrist. I went home that day, told my mom I was fine for her to go back to work (she was angry with me and wanted me to go to a psychiatric hospital), took a shower and planned on swallowing a bottle of pills. I was in agony, utter agony, every single day multiple times a day I thought I was going to die, and it was being made clear to me that no one, not even my mom, believed me. I told my best friend and she talked me out of it, but I came very close and I will forever be heartbroken and angry beyond belief about this (my mom came around not long after this after seeing that this wasn’t going away and has thoroughly apologized for wanting to commit me. she has been helping me every single day since this started even tho she thought it was anxiety. I’m angry but I don’t hold it against her, not after the incredible sacrifices she’s made for me for a year) so yeah. every bizarre symptom, every agonizing thing I go through, the weird discomfort, pain and burning, vision problems, etc etc, all explained by IIH. the very specific ‘looking in a certain direction makes it worse’ has been there since day one. it’s because pressure has increased on the nerve behind my eyes so looking in a certain way aggravates the affected nerve further gaining all that water weight and having my head get so so so severe, enough to send me to the ER again, made me also think this was a real possibility and the ER doc agreed that the fluid retention was making pressure in my brain even more severe and it did ease quite a lot once that was all gone, another reason I believe this is IIH if you read up on IIH or read stories by people with it, it is life altering, debilitating, and agonizing to live with. most people will also have the same story of doctors not believing them and saying it was anxiety before getting this diagnosis the good thing? there’s a cure and while some people may need additional help later on, it works for most people. and it is, very simply, losing weight. 10-20% of body weight (some places say relief can start at just 3%) seems to completely cure it for most people because the brain is no longer inflated and because of that, any chiari malformation (cerebral tonsils sitting in the spinal cord opening) will actually go away, because it makes room in the skull for the tonsils to go back to their normal place I have some trouble knowing that I am partially at fault for gaining weight like I did, but my mom keeps telling me it’s so rare and how could I have possibly known and it was after severe trauma so. trying to deal with that too lol but yeah! weight loss journey. my chemo pill, if you read my last update, completely fucked me up for a while (including the fuckin weight gain despite a low calorie, low fat diet since like nov 1st) so it’s made it hard to lose weight. but now that I’m off of that pill, I’m down 7lbs and I will continue to lose. I have never been more motivated in my life to lose weight lmao and I’ve successfully done it before! I can’t exercise but my neurosurgeon said as the weight comes off and my symptoms start getting better, I will probably be able to incorporate more movement in my life. I can’t even walk around my apt for too long right now cause it builds pressure in my brain. it fucking sucks because this is something they don’t understand, it’s really only diagnosed if everything else has been ruled out (and with a lumbar puncture, but I am too fucking traumatized to have that done. but if I showed high pressure with no reason for it, it would be an ‘official’ IIH diagnosis). but I’m choosing not to do the LP because if I start to have my symptoms relieved as I lose weight, it’s pretty obvious that’s what this has been from the start my brain thinks it has a brain tumor and is going absolutely batshit insane and no matter how much I tried to get people to believe me, it took 11 months to get there. I will carry this with me for the rest of my life and once covid eases, I’m finding a good trauma therapist and working through this if my symptoms DON’T ease, we’ll talk brain surgery. but I think this is what I have and I think I’ll be okay when I lose enough weight (and I’ll feel better all around lol) anyway I’ve had an extremely bad couple of months and I wanted to get this off my chest, sorry it’s so long. if you can please, please, please cross your fingers for me and wish me luck that this is what it is and that over the next handful of months I lose the weight and get my life back, I will appreciate it more than I can say I’m going to thank all of you ahead of time because I lack spoons to reply right now and I also want to thank you all for your support over this last year and never doubting me. for always offering me words of encouragement and for being angry on my behalf. thank you thank you thank you I love you all <3

[animensfw-smut]

Mirio Togata x Fem! Reader

This was requested by @Mins000 on Wattpad.

WARNINGS: None.

Reader was meant to be based off of a character in SAO, but I’ve not watched it yet, so I’ve changed it up.

Reader’s quirk: Spells. 

Last name: Sasaki.

Hero name: Mother Rosario.

Known as: Undefeated hero of pro-heroes.

Reader is in Class 1-A. Reader has an illness that was incurable at first.

Also, there’s gonna be some major time skips in this. I don’t really remember what happens in the Overhaul Arc of BNHA some I’m gonna kinda make it a bit different from the original.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*(y/n)’s pov*

My eyes sparkled as i watched his form, plowing through the sports festival. 

“He’s so cuteee....!” I squealed out loud unintentionally. The other people gave me weird looks before they focused their attention back on the festival.

Well, as for me, i was still paying attention to none other than Mirio Togata of Class 3-A. Today was the Class 3-A festival. The Class 1-A festival was yesterday and i had taken 1st place. I decided to work for Sir Nighteye’s agency as that was where Mirio worked~

That was the first time i saw Mirio. 

Time skip~ Class 1-A meets the Big three~

A smile lit up my face as the big three introduced themselves. I was happy since i was able to see Mirio again. 

“Mirio!” I called out as they were walking round. I had already changed into my pe uniform since we were going against Mirio. He turned around with a bright smile,

“(y/n), right?” I nodded.

“If i beat you, you have to give me your phone number. Deal?” Mirio looked surprised, but then nodded with a smirk,

“Bring it on.”

After everyone was done changing, we all stood in front of Mirio who had started stating the rules. As soon as the battle began, i closed my eyes, focusing on his presence. The others started screaming as he had phased through his clothes. He seemed to have a tendency to appear behind people... Concentrating, I ran with my eyes closed, sensing his presence beneath me. He shot out from under the ground and i jumped up, twisting to punch him. Mirio grabbed my fist, hurling me over his shoulder, mid-air. I turned back around, keeping a firm grip on his arm, and threw him over me. From there, we hit the ground, with me pinning him down. I smirked leaning down to his ear,

“I win. Tell me your number after we change?” He chuckled,

“Sure. How about you let me put on some pants first then?” I blushed brightly, getting off of him as he went to put on his pants. 

Everyone looked at me in awe, and Kirishima piped up with a bright grin,

“She’s not the ‘undefeated hero of pro-heroes’ for nothing!” i giggled as i walked to the changing rooms.

After changing, Mirio was outside waiting for me. 

“Wow. Didn’t really expect you to stay...”

“Who do you take me for? A deal is a deal.” He laughed, handing me a slip of paper.

“You’re so damn cute!!!” I squealed, hugging him. Mirio chuckled nervously, awkwardly placing his hands on my back.

“Are you going to Sir Nighteye’s agency?”

“Mhm.” I nodded, enjoying the sweet embrace.

“I’ll walk you back to your dorm.” 

The walk to the dorm was silent as we enjoyed each other’s company.

“Good night, (y/n).” He pressed a kiss to my forehead before walking to his dorm building. I stood there, shocked. My cheeks heated up as i processed everything whilst closing my door.

“AHHHH! HE KISSED MEEE!!!” I screamed with a bright grin.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU EXTRA!”

“Sorry, sorry.” I apologised through the wall.

A few days had passed and we texted each other a lot. It seemed like we had a chance of getting together, but then i was hit with the harsh reality. I suddenly started feeling pain all over my body, and decided to go to the hospital to check it out.

“I’m sorry (l/n)-san. Your illness is incurable. I’m afraid you only have weeks to live.” Everything froze. I still had a whole life to live, and it’s getting cut short?

That was yesterday. Today i was walking with Izuku to Sir Nighteye’s agency. We were meeting him for the first time. Mirio greeted us at the entrance with a smile,

“You guys are here early!” I smiled slightly,

“Yeah. We didn’t want to be late on our first day after all.”

Sir Nighteye was kind to me, but not to Izuku. We ended up having to leave Sir Nighteye and Izuku in the room. 

We sat on the sofa, and Mirio took my hands in his,

“Hey, you okay?” I bit my lip before smiling,

“Yeah, I’m fine. What about you? I didn’t see you at school yesterday.”

“I was finishing up some paperwork for Sir Nighteye. You know you can talk to me if something’s wrong, right?”

“Yeah... I know. Well... The truth is, i... Don’t have long to live.” His smile was wiped off his face,

“What do you mean?”

“I went to the doctors’ yesterday because my whole body hurt. They said i had an illness that was incurable... And that i only have weeks to live.”

Mirio wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me to his chest as he rested his chin on my head,

“Hey, don’t cry. I’ll be with you every step of the way.” My fingers wiped the liquid off my face. I was crying? I didn’t even notice. 

I closed my eyes, hugging him tightly. 

Time skip~ Overhaul incident~

I panted as u ran down the corridors to where Mirio and Eri were. As soon as i arrived, i noticed Overhaul about to throw a needle at Mirio. Quickly, i chanted my spell,

“Ek skýt fjórir ískaldur ör!” (I shoot four glacial arrows???)

I shot my ice arrows to deflect the needle coming to him. 

“Tch, annoying.” He spoke, glaring at me with hatred. 

The fight lasted for a long time, Sir Nighteye and Izuku joining us later on. I held my breath, reciting another spell,

“Þeír slíta fimm grœnn vindr!” (Tear them, five green winds.)

The wind blades deflected the spikes going towards Sir Nighteye. If they weren’t deflected, he would’ve died...

Time skip~ After the fight~

I closed my eyes as i lay on the ground of the battle. I couldn’t bring myself to move as every bone in my body hurt. I feel like I’m reaching my limit.

“(y/n)!” I weakly lifted my hand to show i was alive.

“H-Hey Mirio...” 

“(y/n)!!! Are you okay?!”

“Mm, i th-think I’m a-alright...” He picked me up bridal style, running towards recovery girl. After that, i blacked out. 

I woke up with a start before i slowly relaxed. I was in a hospital bed. I tried to my my hand but it felt heavy,

“Hah...” I smiled as i saw Mirio at my side. He really is so cute...

I placed my hand on top of his head, playing with his blonde strands of hair. His eyes fluttered open, and a grin found its way on his face as he saw me awake,

“You’re awake!” He glomped me with so much affection, i nearly suffocated. Laughing, I patted his back,

“Yes, i am...”

“(y/n)... I like you... I really like you...” Mirio whispered. I closed my eyes with a satisfied smile,

“I really like you too Mirio.”

He kissed my forehead before taking my hands,

“Recovery girl managed to cure your illness. Apparently, another country had just developed a new medicine for it. Anyway, mind getting dressed? I’m taking you somewhere.” Mirio gave me a bright smile as i nodded enthusiastically. 

I was blindfolded after i got changed not knowing where we were going. 

As soon as we arrived, Mirio took my hand before taking the cloth from my eyes.

“Remember the UA festival?”

“Oh yeah!” 

“Weren’t you in the special effects team?” My eyes widened,

“Damn, i forgot...” He chuckled,

“Of course, you did. But you can stay here with me, and watch... If you want, or you can join your class?”

“No, I’ll stay with you.” I gave a bright smile to him as he hugged me from behind. 

The show started, and it was as amazing as i expected it to be. At the end of the show, Mirio lifted my chin up, connecting his lips with mine...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N

I hope i did well on this???

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this!!! The next request will be another fluff:

Class 1-A + The big three + Eri x Male! Reader. This will be posted sometime next week.

[rigelmejo]

thank u @meichenxi for ur absolutely gorgeous amazing in depth shadowing answer when i asked.

u can ignore the rest of this post its just gonna be me ranting ToT.

i tried the most tiny form of shadowing and. i think i should try doing it more ;-;. I tried doing what you said - listening to the stress in the sentence, chunking how i say it back if i can’t say the whole sentence (like saying the last phrase, getting that right, then trying to say the last 2 phrases in the sentence, etc). And I realized how BAD i am at doing that beyond literally 1 word chunks or short 2 word chunks like 你知道. Obviously plenty of phrases which are just 4-6 hanzi, but i would mess up with even just those! I could read it, and I could read a sentence aloud one word at a time. But I could not shadow without a ton of errors when I tried repeating lol. 

I also took your advice (or maybe the konglongmandarin advice? or both?? i can’t remember who said to do this) of trying to shadow without looking at the text. While i looked at it the first time to read over the sentence, when i actually tried to shadow i just focused on what i HEARD and repeating it AS IT SOUNDS (not as the pinyin look, not looking at the words so i know the tone). just literally listening, then only using the audio to practice saying it out loud myself. and that takes WAY MORE ACTIVE LISTENING SKILLS then i apparently have lol! I could only do this again with 1-2 word chunks! Anything longer and my brain would forget what tones it heard, forget some of the words, and my mouth would forget to say ‘xie’ right even though i would have JUST saw the character and just heard it correctly and i CAN pronounce it... but on the spot, with no aid but ‘hear the sound, now replicate it’ i just kept messing it up! Lol!

I am sure trying to shadow more will improve my actual listening ability, because i had to focus so MUCH on listening in order to shadow. I had to focus even more then in a show or listening to an audiobook - because i had to do more than just recognize words, i had to say them myself and attempt to say them correctly. so... i will definitely be working up to bigger phrases and sentences, since literally this is so difficult lol ToT (the suggestion to phrase chunk and try first just one, then build up to a full sentence, if u can’t remember or do the whole thing, is helpful - also i think its what Pimsleur kind of does). 

I was listening so much harder because i was not looking at the text, and since i was focusing so much on replicating HOW it sounded i didn’t have time to think ‘ok what is this word, what is its pinyin, what is its tone, what tone changes do i do if it’s 3 3rd tone hanzi in a row’... whereas when im speaking to someone, or myself, i can think all of that first (tho it slows down my speech). but since shadowing the point is to replicate and learn from imitating correct pronunciations (instead of seeing pronunciations on paper), it required a lot more active listening. and i think its probably very good training for speaking skills, speaking ease, and again active listening. maybe also for ingraining tones in words and phrases... i know the tones with words, but i constantly CONSTANTLY have to think about it when i’m speaking like ‘did i say the right one? did i change it when i was supposed to? if i say this phrase what part do i change?’ and even if i know what i’m talking about and know the words i just slow down a lot. so maybe more shadowing will help make more of this a bit more instinctive?

anyway. super hard lol.

i tried with some sentences in Chinese Spoonfed Audio files i have, just because its simple learner material, and already has a built in pause to repeat. And i still fumbled brutally over my words lol! doing this from a show sounds even horrifically harder! So... catch me trying to do it eventually, sometime much sooner than i feel ready for it! 

I remember i used to do it just months into learning chinese, but it was just for simple stuff since those were easy words to pick up: 该死，你知道吗 没事吧， 你怎么了，你放心，别担心，明白了吗？，好名字，他死了，没问题，我没事，太好了，行了，行不行，是不是，还有，我喜欢你，什么东西，天的，漂亮 etc. After stuff got more complicated i basically stopped trying to repeat after shows, i felt i made so many tone mistakes etc constantly i decided it was too hard and i might be reinforcing bad habits if i don’t look at pinyin with tones marked ToT (when i say ‘do shadowing’ i do not mean recording myself or doing anything nearly as impressive and structured as you described lol ToT i mean literally just repeating the character whenever they said something i could say easily after - and those kinds of phrases above i heard enough to do that and were short enough to).

while i think yeah that stunted my speaking a lot? i also am not sure if the judgement call i made was kind of solid to be fair. i was very confused by tones until about a year in when i had a language exchange partner for a while - i had been pronouncing 3rd tone like the 2nd tone, had been rising my 3rd tone too often, and was told basically GO LOWER - LOWEERRRRRR. Until i finally grasped ‘ok 3rd tone is more like just the LOW’ tone. and if you pronounce it fully like in an elongated wo... wo bu zhidao, then yeah you will hear it dip then go up. And if its before another 3rd tone its a 2nd tone. but if you just hear it, you’re generally hearing ‘low’ without really much rise, and starting lower than the 4th tone drop (so the drop in 3rd tone isn’t as clear). And until someone TOLD ME 3rd tone was so low i just had no idea, i could NOT even hear it right. And that’s why i still have some fears about shadowing... if i do NOT know a language feature? I have a decent chance of literally being UNABLE to hear it. Unable to hear it correctly, unable to notice it. For me i literally could NOT tell how my 3rd tone sounded wrong. I had to be told to notice ‘THIS IS HOW LOW IT GOES’ and ‘GO LOWER’ constantly until i got it. With 1st tone, i kept accidentally doing 2nd tone because i could NOT hear that i was raising my voice at the end. It took someone repeatedly telling me its not so much ‘high’ as it is ‘completely level’. 1st tone u do not raise or lower ur pitch! i did not even hear myself doing it until i got called out and constantly tried to consciously notice if i was keeping it the same exact level or not. 

And now i get the same issues with ‘c’ and ‘sh’ and ‘b’ and ‘q’ noise in chinese... i use the app 普通话学习 to practice pronunciation (it grades you). And no matter what i can RARELY hear how i do ‘c’ and ‘sh’ and ‘b’ wrong. I have listened to examples, i’ve repeated them, i’ve read different books way of describing the sounds. In the app i try to repeat the hanzi that start with those over and over, and whether i get ‘perfect’ or ‘wtf did you say’ is literally luck. i cannot tell at all how i am mistakenly pronouncing them, when i say them wrong. i can’t hear my mistake at all, i can’t hear any difference between my pronunciation and the examples. (Same with ‘eng’ and ‘en’ endings... but i think i might.. maybe hear a difference in my pronunciation to theirs... still though i have no idea). 

So a big reason i didn’t shadow much, ESPECIALLY trying to shadow without pinyin to look at and DOUBLE check i know the correct tone etc, is because i worry i will keep reinforcing bad pronunciation i can’t even HEAR in my own voice. I will go ‘ok yes finally! i imitated the audio right!’ and then not realize i fucked up 4 things i just cannot hear properly. I just cannot tell i’m even doing wrong. I worry about that significantly less now, since i generally always get my tones right if i know them... so i’m guessing i have a solid enough sense of how they’re supposed to ‘correctly’ sound now that if i hear them in audio without text, i will have enough in my brain to instinctively recognize its a part of the sound that exists and replicate it as i’m hearing it. (though i am still constantly afraid i’ll hear a tone wrong, replicate wrong, and not even fucking notice i’m making a mistake). Now most of the fear is just with those couple initials and finals i just... fuck up half the time and CANNOT hear why they’re wrong. i can’t hear the difference at all. but i’ve been consistently messing them up for like 4 months now so... if i haven’t improved them in this long, i might as well still do some practice like with shadowing. i’ve been using that pronunciation app, and even with all of it doing its best to tell me ‘it sounds WRONG’ i can’t tell. so i could call using that app ‘reinforcing bad habits’ at that point just as much as shadowing, maybe. i get the sounds right half the time, wrong all the time, cannot hear the difference. so i don’t think shadowing is gonna hurt me much more than i’m already hurting myself here... since its pretty clear unless i get someone to explain, i’m unable to fix these bits. 

anyway that is the tldr for why i didn’t shadow much at all. and maybe... maybe my tones are decent enough now... i might try a bit more. although when i tried yesterday, i was literally so afraid i fucked up the tones that i went to look up the sentences to double check i hadn’t. and i still could not ‘name’ the tones i was saying as i repeated them in shadowing. i was too busy speaking, i had no idea IF i was doing tones or WHICH ones i was just focusing EVERYTHING on trying to remember the sounds i heard and repeat. not the meaning, not the words specifically, not the tones lol. yes i am a mess lol ToT

[moonchildstyles]

moonchildstyles patreon launch!!!

hi guys!!! This is something I’ve been thinking about doing for a couple of months now and I think I’ve found the right time and right pieces to share!! Details about the launch will be put under the cut including pricing, whats included, and what the first piece to start off is!!

So I’ve decided to keep my patreon really simple, with only one tier priced at $5! I might expand in the future but as for right now, I’m keeping things simple for everyone including myself owkkssk

My patreon is going to include first access to new pieces including my new series, blurbs for existing pieces, and extended sneak peeks of pieces in progress. Those pieces will later be posted to tumblr, either a couple weeks to a month after being posted to patreon depending on the piece. There will also be exclusive blurbs that can be requested by patrons that will not be posted to tumblr. 

As we all have noticed, I take a good bit of time in between pieces to outline them and write out everything, so there will be months that are paused and no new content will be posted, but no one will be charged for those months.

This is not at all obligatory as I know not everyone can afford to pay for fic owmskskd and I don’t want people who aren’t able to afford it to feel left out so unless it’s a patreon exclusive, all pieces posted to the patreon will be posted to tumblr following a stretch of a couple of weeks to a month.

My official start date will be March 1st, so everyone only gets charged once to start off. The first piece posted will actually be part one to my new series, which I want to keep as a surprise for everyone!! The new series will later be posted to tumblr a few weeks after patreon. once the patreon is up on march 1st, i will make another post with the link to the page!

Below I’ll leave a sneak peek to the piece to see if you guys like it!!

—————

(Y/N)'s broke. Like, really fucking broke.

Rationally, she knew that life as a fresh college graduate wasn't going to immediately fall into place, but she thought—maybe—the new credentials might actually help. But she's three months out, and no one has bothered to even give her a call back about any applications she's sent out and she's so broke. Just to add to the stress, her roommate—Charlotte—had broke the news to her the other day that she was planning on moving in with her boyfriend. (Y/N) could barely afford the apartment with the double income, but she knew she definitely couldn't afford it now. She does admit it was kind of dumb to have prematurely quit her job the weekend after graduation, but she was so excited to start her life, really start it. Now, with less than a hundred dollars in her bank account, a flat she was fully responsible for, and no job offers, she's panicking. She spent all her time on indeed and other sites trying to find any kind of listing she qualified for and applying to anything she might even have the slightest shot at.

It wasn't until her fifth day in a row looking nonstop, during the late night hours (early morning at this point) did she find a listing that she actually got excited for. It definitely wasn't her field, but the benefits were everything she was looking for. The listing called for a "Housekeeper/Sitter For Sprawling Manor". It seemed easy enough, with pretty good pay for the work, and it was a live-in position so she wouldn't have to worry about rent. The owner of the manor was rarely ever home, as the listing quoted, so it would be like being paid to live alone. It also helped that whoever wrote the listing seemed to have high energy, an affinity towards exclamation points, and pointed out more than once that no experience was needed just "enthusiasm and the willingness to learn!!"

Googling the manor—Styles Manor—brought up artistic shots of a truly sprawling mansion. The building separated into two wings, converging in the center with a rounded bulb making the roof. It was beautiful, and definitely not the kind of Gothic, decrepit castle she was expecting when reading through of the owner's "eccentric taste" in decor. With no hesitation, she filled out the automated application and attached her resume before pressing submit. She sent out all the good vibes and prayers and anything that could possibly manifest for her to get this job. Then, she proceeded to fall asleep in the blink of an eye.

She didn't even realize how long her "nap" was until she woke up at 3:30 in the afternoon from the buzzing of her phone. She didn't bother to look at the caller ID, tapping the green button and rolling over before pressing the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" she said groggily into the receiver. She fought to keep her eyes open as they kept sliding shut from exhaustion.

"Hi! Is this (Y/N)?" an excited Irish accent sounded through the phone, "My name is Niall from Styles Manor."

Shit.

She bolted upright, now fully awake. "Oh, hi! Yes it is! Uh—Thank you so much for getting back to me so soon!"

"Of course." She could hear his smile through the speaker, infecting her as giddy nerves passed through her body. "I saw your application this morning, and I was wondering if you could come in for an interview tomorrow?"

"Yes! I mean of course, what time were you thinking?" She basically bounced off the bed, pacing her room to let out the energy in her body.

They ironed out the rest of the details, (Y/N) agreeing to any of his suggestions. Once bidding their goodbyes, (Y/N) can't help but prance around her apartment. Finally—finally—someone got back to her, and it wasn't an degrading, minimum wage, retail job! Niall sounded so nice, she couldn't imagine any problems she could have working for him. She sent out the same good vibes and prayers as she had before (they seemed quite effective at this point), then proceeded to stress about what to wear tomorrow.

Not only did she need this job, she actually wanted it. She had a really good feeling about this one.

—————

if u have any questions u can send them here!!

[beabaseball]

this is a delirious 11pm post for Adults Only guys

Leave this space, child!

...

...

...

...y’all teenagers are going to be tweaked out of their goddamn minds.

Like, not necessarily in the drugged way, though some maybe yes in the drugged way, but like. Specifically in the non-drug way, they’re going to be snippy, and inattentive, and self centered. And that’s probably fine.

Like. Of course teens are self-centered, their bodies are doing weird shit for the first time and people keep making jokes they don’t understand yet, and some of these fuckers haven’t been given sex ed so they don’t even know what’s coming.

The younger teens have just emerged from the child form that has only just started being able to comprehend a larger world. In elementary school, sure I was reading time magazine for kids and we prayed for people who were being reported (religious school; recent tsunami, it happens) and when I was in 1st or 2nd grade we heard rumors that once upon a time women weren’t allowed to do the same stuff as men, but like— you can feel those things, but it’s not really something that you comprehend unless it’s right then a part of your life. I remember the first time I really ‘got’ sexism was in ninth grade in a gym class of 24 boys to 3 + me girls, and I wrote bad poetry about it in my phone for like three months trying to process it.

When I was like 16 our car broke down midway to school and we had to call my dorm parent to come drive me the next 5 mins, and so he’s in a bad mood bc he has to pick me up, and mom is in a bad mood bc car she gets a feeling dorm parent didn’t believe her when she said the car broke down, and it’s like 80 out but more importantly the humidity is a swamp, and I just remember being in his car driving the rest of the way to school and he’s complaining about sunburns bc he’s super pale and Irish, but he’s trying to talk so I kind of say “huh well i’ve never gotten a sunburn. I tan real fast and then go inside and I’m white again.”

and even in the moment I remember being like “that’s not really what he wanted to hear” and I think he even made a face, but I was too out of it and hot and tired to really do anything passed that. And I do feel kind of bad about it? Like, I did not mean to demean his pain of sunburns and I know also that at the time he was having A Rough Time with his marriage, to the point where he had us doing religious plays about parenthood for three seasons straight.

But also, I was a teenager. And looking back I can’t exactly blame my past self for just kinda... saying some words and feeling bad the rest of the car ride but also too tired to care. Theater teacher man wasn’t a bad guy; we were definitely not good at reading each other and he thought musicals sucked, but he also was the one who comforted me out of a panic attack when we had a tornado warning and I ended up convinced my daystudent friend was going to die.

Because that’s what I cared about at the time. Me-related things. Yes, tornado, but I am worried about one (1) person, and that mattered to me. I stayed behind when we got an actual sex-ed person in 7th grade because I was scared that reading yaoi would send me to hell. I had a breakdown in front of my history professor because one of my friends was discovering her gender identity and I was scared I was ‘losing her’ (you know the words!)

Now, someone comes out to me or someone doesn’t understand a term and I’m over here like “yea which definition u wanna use” but back then I was a kid and I had never experienced anything like this before, my hormones were wild—which didn’t mean I was horny and wanted boyfriend, it meant I was in constant fear of bleeding through things and every now and then I would wake up and my body would be in surprise unknowable pain (aka I was finally big enough to cut off my own circulation in my sleep and also growing pains)

Now, I’ve got a lot of that under control. When I wake up with a body in pain I usually know why and probably it is my fault actually. I know a bit better how to get through days when I’m too hot, or too groggy, or just dissociation or mad. (The trick is: say aloud, “sorry if I’m not responding much, I’m just really hot/groggy/out of it/still upset about that.” )

That’s not something a lot of teens have down yet. I saw a kid with a naruto shirt on at work once and I said “hey naruto” and he looked at me like he’d seen the face of god, he was so surprised someone knew what naruto was. To someone even MILDLY in my age range, the idea of not knowing who Naruto is is preposterous. But this was like, 12-15 year old at the most. Not hit his growth spurt yet. Just absolutely blindsided that there was an outside world which recognized something he liked, which I’m gonna wildly guess his parents probably aren’t into or don’t talk about it with him, because the thought of talking Naruto with your kid is horrifying.

Obviously, thinking other people don’t know about naruto is a similar kind of self-centered thought along the lines of “I bet thigh chick isn’t a REAL fan of x” or “EVERYONE has an opinion on me and there is no in between” where like the world... sort of revolves around you.

And like, once that person grows up if they keep that sort of self-focus, that’s usually the time you start trying to ditch them, but even older teens are still just coming out of that larval childhood state. They know a lot more about the world than we probably did at their age—I know a lot of them aren’t having the same existential crisis over their friends’ gender like I did, which is a big ol step— but there are still days that it’s going to be too much new shit to deal with, plus whatever else is happening inside them personally. And it’ll take a while to learn how to handle that.

In the meantime, they might be snappish, or out of it, or just kind of give up and have a ‘fuck it’ attitude sometimes, and it drives a lot of adults just goddamn insane it seems, according to all the mildly aggressive parents at work, trying to get kids who don’t want to be there to give the right reactions. It’s probably not even anything personal to the event that’s making them unhappy. One time I talked to a kid who was crying, and when I got her to tell me what was bothering her, it turned out that some people on her family reunion were mean to her. Nothing about the immediate ‘now’, just a lot of emotion that needed to go somewhere, and that somewhere ended up being crying, and it was not at all about respect or disrespect or anything related to us. Probably most of what was needed was to talk about it (success) and take a long nap.

The first time I remember having a meltdown with a ‘trigger’ like that, I was in 5th grade and my first assignment was something like “what did you do over summer” so I lost my entire shit and cried on the couch for an hour. Passed out, slept til 7, woke up and was fed soup, and have no idea if I finished that paper but presumably I did because I remember a nap and food working.

I would keep having these homework meltdowns periodically, and I don’t know when they stopped, but I had at least one, maybe two, in my first year of college.

And eventually I’ve just kinda.... stopped having them. Stress about a big project wasn’t something that bothered me anymore. You just did it one step at a time, and when you started thinking “maybe I’ll do it in the morning”, you immediately go to bed because you’ve already lost the fight and even if you don’t do it in the morning at least you won’t face it sleep deprived.

It takes time and living to get these experiences, and while one kid might not have the same issues with school work I had, maybe something else just knocks them on their ass every time (same) and it is just. Literally something you need to live through a couple times before you know how to deal with it. You can provide Blank Slate Alien Person with all the mental health tips and anecdotal advice and chamomile tea as you want, but the first couple times they face stress, none of those tips help if they don’t know how to implement them.

If you’ve ever assembled something by instructions and ended up building it upside down—it’s easier to build it again once you’ve gotten mad and undone it and started again. Because you’ve practiced. You already had the instructions, but now you have the experience of building it already, even if the result wasn’t the one you wanted.

Teens are learning a) how to read instructions, and b) that their assembly is probably upside down. and in the meantime, the world is also bonkers wild right now.

When they have that moment of rage, or giving up, or aloofness upon finding shit got built upside down— just. Let them.

You don’t have to ‘fix’ it or ‘fix’ them for having these emotions, or lack of them.

These are normal reactions. They make sense. All I’m asking is that we understand it’s going to happen. These emotions are going to happen.

Don’t let yourself justify being mean to kids and teens by telling yourself they’re being disrespectful. The world and their lives and emotions also don’t revolve around you. It’s not always a rebellion or reason to fight when things get too high strung to hold total control of.

That doesn’t mean ignore them. I was maybe 12 or 13, and it was 90 on a metal ship, and i was wearing an under shirt because i didn’t have a bra, so two layers of clothes on a hot metal ship, on my period— and all I remember is asking my dad to let us sit down and eat some lunch, because i was dizzy and dehydrated, and all he just kept saying we would do it once he saw the tour. I have no idea how long it was but I probably could’ve cried and been called moody or uncooperative.

Life is difficult. Especially for people who aren’t yet in control of their situations. Who are still bursting out with emotions they can’t otherwise articulate.

Be kind to that.

[isa-ghost]

I’ll Get To The Bottom Of This Notes

NOTE: Gonna mention some things I saw from @dumbthinmint​, @rogue-of-broken-time​, @lilakennedy​ and a few other people so if I forget to credit them for the discovery, I’M SORRY, but I’m late to the party here so anything in these notes is stuff we already been knew courtesy of other JSE Theorists.

SO ANYWAY, THE BULLSHIT(tm):

I stopped pegging this as suspicious not too long ago, but during Mayhem A LOT of the most fire-inducing videos only had a title written by Sean or a game name, not both like we usually see (ie: Dark Silence, Try To Fall Asleep, etc...). Today’s title is “I’ll Get To The Bottom Of This...” which obviously has no game name in it, not even an “x games, 1 video” thing. Not to mention that title in itself is highkey giving me “He’s hinting/talking to us through the titles again, just like October 2016″ vibes.

0:09 - “Look at it just sitting there, staring!” As Lila pointed out in this post, that has the same energy as what Anti said in PAX 2017. And “it” was referring to us, just as Anti was...

10:09 - Lights suddenly turn off and everything goes black. This reminds me of the door opening on its own behind him during Stories Untold...

10:14 - Voice says “Thank you for your contribution to this video”  forwards, but if you reverse the audio it sounds like it says “Thank you for contributing to his [???]” and none of us can tell if it says says “death" or something else. (Some of us are convinced it says one thing, and others are convinced it says another, we honestly need Sean to confirm what it is himself). You can listen to the audio here thanks to Rogue, and as Emily brought up in the post, if it DOES say death, it could possibly be a reference to the April Charity Stream Ego Poll, in which Henrik (1st place) or Marvin (last place) could very well be in danger if the poll results are used for something in the future. ALSO, this all hugely reminds me of “I will return when you least expect it.” from Eggs For Bart.

I for the life of me cannot hear any of the ideas we’ve thought of so far. I can only kind of hear “video” when the audio plays normally, and I vaguely hear “death” when the audio is reversed, but still don’t think that’s what it is. Someone PLEASE clean up the audio to make it clearer, post it and tag me?

10:19 - Facecam glitch. Frame by frame shots by @the-jackiebear​ here! I don’t actually think this glitch is an Anti Glitch because it looks different, but I’m noting it just in case, especially since it happened right after the voice.

10:21 - “Oh thank god you’re here, I thought I was lost, I thought I was all alone! I was in that darkness for 14 years!” Okay, first of all, the KJSE/Exiles siren is playing in the background during this. Big Oh Shit(tm) right there. Secondly, I get slapped with two different energies at the same time here-- I get Panicked Chase energy, like the “darkness” is a reference to Dark Silence, but I also get Jack Finding Us energy, like after he was “EXPLORING AN ABANDONED HOSPITAL” like the video title says in Exiles, while the Exiles siren is playing in the background, he finally found us, like if we were some kind of Y/N in this whole story... I can’t decide which energy I get out of that moment more, and even while I’m getting those two energies I still feel like the entire thing could just be an innocent goofy bit like Sean does with each intro to a new game in these kinds of videos... REALLY wish he’d start giving us little nods somehow so we know when we’re right or if we’re over-analyzing something. :u

11:58 - “Hello? It’s me, Jacksepticeye, the guy who doesn’t do too well with silence! It reminds me of my relationship with my dad!” Alright there’s a lot to unpack here and we can’t afford to throw away the whole suitcase so here goes nothing-- So, first off, “Hello? It’s me Jacksepticeye!” is EXACTLY something he said in Exiles (*gestures to the siren playing earlier*). Secondly, I’m trying not to imagine Chase calling himself Jack to keep his facade up while also mentioning he doesn’t do well with silence bc Dark Silence. But I’m also fully aware he could be making a “I’m loud and never shut up” joke. Thirdly, “dad” jokes are suspicious bc Mayhem was fucking full of them, but once again we should keep in mind Sean also at some point said smth about him not being close with his dad. Bottom line here is, this line was Big Suspicious(tm) to me but could very well be innocent to a degree.

We all know the gauges aren’t Anti-only anymore but he has the big ones in that he wore during KJSE and I am Big Nervous(tm). Normally he wears smaller ones I’m pretty sure,,, I’m paranoid,,,

23:50 - “Be extra vigilant, for there are always secrets and clues lying around.” I looked really hard at that magnifying glass reflection and for a split second I thought it was the table from Say Goodbye with the bookshelf behind it but I’m positive it isn’t (so please don’t say it was, haha) and I’m just paranoid because the very next second it looked like it was just Sean’s computer in front of him or something, I dunno but *squints*