#also if this has been posted already ignore me đ
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i thought this was very important to share with the community today
#this is from shawn vs bret vs sycho sid#i wanna say this was early 97?#bret eyeing down shawn in the ring#shawn doing his little dance to take off his chap in bretâs direction#them sizing each other up#why they got sid third wheeling đ#GET A ROOM!!!#hartbreak#shawn michaels#bret hart#bret hitman hart#vids#also if this has been posted already ignore me đ#i also failed to mention that shawn looked good asf here#he looks so good with a beard
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im new here- is dean abusive?
imo yeah. smarter people than me have written dissections of the way he treats sam & others (heâs also Awful to his psuedo-son jack, but i havenât gotten to that season yet), iâve probably reblogged a bunch of them.
he certainly doesnât mean to be & i donât say it to condemn him as a person or as a character & iâm still very attached to him & he loves sam very much (not that that makes a difference in whether u abuse someone or not) - but the way he treats sam a lot/some of the time is emotionally abusive and sam is clearly badly impacted. s4 and s8 come to mind as his worst moments also ofc moc era - after that thereâs less interpersonal conflict (up to where i am at least) but thatâs because sam mostly stops disagreeing with dean not because dean actually gets much better <3 spn is cycles of abuse show after all. family is hell. deanâs learnt pretty much everything about how to behave from his abusive father and as a result. well. cycle continues
#anon i wonder which way ur approaching this from - having not considered that dean treats sam badly or having never thought of it as Abusiv#mutuals pls feel free to chime in with ur opinions#wrote a bunch of more detailed responses to this but none of them felt right so i was just like. eh#narrative portrays dean as right like All Of The Time bc the shows morality is deans morality its fucked up so that makes it harder for#fandom to see how awful he is sometimes#but i think a lot of people see his awful behaviour but just wouldnât call it abusive and rather toxic etc because abusive#is such a âstrong wordâ and people have a lot of personal connotations with it#i donât often even actually use the word abusive to describe him. but he is! and iâve been watching s4 and heâs just So awful and itâs been#reminding me hugely#dean crit#<- i guess#spn#oliver talks#asks#itâs more than just like. being awful sometimes. bc itâs this systemic pattern of eradicating samâs sense of identity outside of him#and punishing sam for âdisobeyingâ him (like s4/8)#dean winchester#supernatural#Also when you start recognising dean as abusive the show becomes a legitimate horror story because fucking hell!!!!#narrative just. sides with him most of the time!!!!#if u wanna think abt it for urself id say make sure u know what abuse actually Is and how it can present & then look at a lot of sam and#dean conflicts. do they seem equal? r both parties being as awful to each other? whats the context?#look away from the view the show is trying to get you to take via like. ending shots and closeups. and look at what theyre actually saying#to each other and what has actually happened#<- i feel like this sounds patronising i dont mean to beđ#if u already think sam&dean r fucked up and had just never defined it as abusive before then feel free to ignore me#there r probably posts in my dean winchester tag much better than this#<- okay apparently i had a lot to say actually. sorry for doing it in the tags
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i'll love you forever
pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader
summary: you were sunghoon's first everything; first friend, first love, and first heartbreak. after years of quietly crushing on you, he was finally ready to confess. so ready to confess, that he told his parents the two of you were already dating! it was an easy enough lie to keep up and he kept it up for months, what could possibly go wrong? he thought. little did he know, you would have a falling out and stop talking for months.. and then, you'd both get invited to spend a week at home with his parents, who still believe you're his girlfriend.
genre: smut, fluff, angst, college au, childhood best friends to lovers, fake dating
warnings: minors dni, fake dating is pretty mild (sorry), she kinda doesnât rate him at the start, these two kind of exist in a vacuum a little bit idk i had a self-enforced word count to stick to and broke it.. (im within the 10% allowance !), sunghoon in a vest, sunghoon arms, sunghoon
word count: 21,858
playlist: click here.. (for my non-spotify babes, the main song is light by wave to earth (which for some reason i put last.. whatever))
author's note: for silly @asahicore. happy birthday pooks i hope it's amazing and that u enjoy reading this when u have the time !!! LOL (lots of love) also im never writing without telling you things again this was so absurd.
to everyone else.. ok happy reading also emma did not beta read this so im sure it's missing its charm .. anyway it's for emma not you đ anyway i hope u enjoy regardless and lmk ur thoughts! omg this is the first fic im nervous about posting.......... please enjoy or else.
In the three years since Park Sunghoon moved away for university, heâd been doing a pretty good job of going home to see his parents. Theyâd welcome their baby back to the nest with open arms and wide grins. With a rehearsed level of indifference, his younger sister, Yeji, would say, âOh, I didnât know you were coming home this weekend.â when she saw him at the dinner table. Sunghoon pretended to only be marginally hurt by this.Â
In the last three months, he hasnât so much as sent a text to his parents.Â
Or to you.Â
Ignoring texts from his mother is devastating. Between classes, he watches as, âHi, sweetie, I love you đ,â turns into, âMissing you, honey, know you must be busy but spare some time for your old mummy, no?â which turns into, âGetting really worried now, are you doing okay? Has something happened with YN? Talk to me, I love you, my baby boy!âÂ
Ignoring texts from you is easy because texts from you never come.Â
Sitting at the end of his bed, Sunghoon rereads a text his mother sent a few minutes ago: Please talk to me, son. Really worried and YN isnât answering calls either. Whatâs going on with you two?
When he leaves his room, he finds Jake lying on the couch, and with his keys in hand, Sunghoon says, âIâm going home.âÂ
And the drive is great! At least, he tells his mum it is. In truth, the drive home without you was nearly impossible. Your ever-expanding home time playlist buzzed through the speakers in his car, but without you there to screech along to the songs, it wasnât the same. He felt your absence the most when he stopped to get petrol and you werenât there behind him struggling to carry enough snacks to feed a small family without offering to pay.Â
The look of worry on his mumâs face stirs a pit in his stomach. âWhy are you so quiet these days? God, you look so tired,â she says, frowning. âIs it school? Or something with YN? Itâs not like her not to text back.â Her brows crease as she whispers the word unless. She pulls him into a hug, her chin resting perfectly on his shoulder, and her comforting hand strokes the hair on the back of his head. âBreakups are never easy, honey. Iâm so sorry, I know how much you love her.âÂ
Breakups are never easy. The sentence hangs heavy over his head.Â
Whether she knows it or not, sheâs handed him a get-out-of-jail-free card, the opportunity to set things straight, to end this mess once and for all. No further questions, and most importantly, no more lies.Â
For the first time since he left your flat three months ago, Sunghoon lets himself cry. Heâd imagined this moment countless times, his first cry since you ended things. In his mind, it was always intense. Today, as it happens, only a few salty tears leak from his eyes, spilling onto the cuff of his sleeve, darkening the blue cotton in tiny indigo splotches.Â
âWe didnât break up,â he says in a small voiceâfor some reason. âIâm just having a hard time.â Neither statement is technically untrue, but the words taste rotten in his mouth.
The tightening grip of his mumâs arms around his body is what brings on the harsh, shoulder-racking sobs heâd been anticipating. For a while, they stand like this, Sunghoon weeping into his mumâs cardigan until she sends him upstairs to lie down, promising a cup of tea that never comes.Â
His childhood bedroom is chilly, so he changes into clothes he left behind and climbs into bed, pulling his duvet up to his chin. He turns his head to look at the walls and the room around him, everything is exactly where he left it in the summer. It should be comforting, but itâs weird to be home without you.Â
There are photos of you and him everywhere, growing up and around each other through different stages of life. The two of you together during the summer your family moved in next door, you wore glasses back then and were the first friend heâd made in his life. Sunbathing and sharing earphones at the beach, listening to music together on your iPod classic. Sunghoon in thick glasses with a stiff smile and your arm around him on the first day of high school. Wide grins at the start of this summer, the last time things were okay between you.Â
Overwhelmed, he stares up at the ceiling, only realising heâs crying when a hot tear slips from his eyes to tickle his ear. Because Sunghoon likes to upset himself, he screws his eyes shut and thinks about the night before you stopped talking.Â
Though he didnât know it at the time, youâd left Yeonjunâs place to sit with him in a tiny restaurant on campus, the one youâd only visit to toast to each otherâs heartbreaks. It had become a ritual â ever since your first year boyfriend dumped you after two weeks â to cry as much as you wanted and drink as much soju as your bodies could handle before stumbling back to your apartments.Â
Having spent years suffering from an unrequited crush on his best friend, Sunghoon was always the one to comfort you. But that night was different; you were there to comfort him. It was easy enough to play the part of âboy whose crush likes someone elseâ because he spent your entire friendship in that role. Heâd had no problem accepting his fate, but his composure started to slip when you met Yeonjun. It was the first time youâd dated someone who Sunghoon had reason to be jealous of. In every way, Yeonjun was better than himâtaller, funnier, hotter. Sunghoon knew he didnât stand a chance. He took it personally, you liking Yeonjun instead of him, and let his jealousy consume him from the inside out.Â
This jealousy led him to start telling you about Minjeongâlying to you about Minjeong, and his feelings for her. She was a girl from a college out of town that he saw on his Instagram Explore page. He followed her by accident, and by some stroke of luck, she followed back. Sunghoon didnât really have feelings for her â he didnât even know her â but she was a girl that you didnât know, so you wouldnât be able to meddle.Â
It only took a few weeks for Sunghoon to become so upset about your relationship that he couldnât hide his emotions anymore. So, in a fit of tears, he told you over the phone that things ended badly with Minjeong, and he was in urgent need of a soju ceremony.Â
But the night was missing its usual comforts.
It was strange to be the one crying, to see you looking put together and ordering the food. To see you pouring the drinks and raising your glass to propose a toast to âHoonieâs first heartbreakâ. You were driving that night, so you only had a tiny sip of soju and let him drink as much as he needed, the way he always did for you, at the same table, in the same restaurant for years.Â
Hours later, in your car, you entertained his drunken rambles, though he remembers how your lips were set into a frown that he wanted to kiss away while you gripped the steering wheel like you thought it would run from you. Sunghoon was more drunk than heâd been in a while, drunk enough to let you sling his arm over your shoulders and keep him upright until you reached his flat.Â
The voices coming from Yejiâs room disrupt the memory. Heâs thankful.
âYour brotherâs going through something, so be nice to him this weekend.â His motherâs voice is her version of hushedâa loud whisper.Â
Yejiâs response is harder to make out, but he doesnât miss the way their mum says, âI mean it, missy.âÂ
A dramatic sigh rumbles through Yeji as she barges into his room without knocking. Sunghoon sits up, feeling an ache in his back and crossing his legs.Â
âMum told me to lay off you today, which is fine, but before I do, I need to tell you something.âÂ
Yeji pushes the door shut behind her, and the open window makes it slam, both of them flinching from the sudden noise. She pulls her hair out of a silk scrunchie and throws herself on the floor. A pang of irritation forms in his chest, knowing that he could immediately find the empty hanger in his wardrobe where the shirt sheâs wearing used to live.Â
âI hate you and your perfect golden boy image, Hoon. Would it kill you to fail a class for once? I donât know how Iâm supposed to carry on your legacy.â Sheâs looking up at him, her chin in her hands and irritation written in the crease between her thick brows.Â
Itâs impossible to know if itâs because of Yejiâs complete lack of boundaries or the fact that her âperfect, golden boyâ big brother is on track to fail three out of three classes and get cut from the hockey team, but Sunghoon immediately bursts into tears.Â
âOh, uh.. Iâm sorry?â Yeji offers. âI was kidding if that helps.âÂ
âIâm alright, itâs okay.â The tears donât stop stinging his eyes. âWhy do you want me to change everything about myself?âÂ
With a frown, Yeji pours out her frustration and mild resentment. She doesnât understand how Sunghoon effortlessly conquers every aspect of life while she struggles. Neither do their parents, who had been baffled by her plummeting grades since she moved to boarding school, especially when Sunghoonâs academic performance has only soared since he left for university. The weight of this perceived injustice pulls Sunghoonâs shoulders down with guilt as she talks about the expectations he has inadvertently set for her.Â
âBut other than that, Iâm good.â She shrugs, sitting with her legs out, and leaning back on her palms. âHowâs YN?â she asks. Itâs clear from the brightness in her voice that she thinks sheâs helping.Â
Sunghoon cries again.Â
Back on campus, heâs trying to scrape together whatâs left of his academic career with the help of two of the smartest guys he knows, and their friend Jay. Though the word âfriendâ feels a little strong at the moment given the way Jayâs goading him.Â
Sunghoon rolls his eyes, sitting back in his seat. âThereâs nothing you can do that I canât,â he says, meaning every word.Â
Jay scoffs, shrugging and raising his brow in a way that, over the years, Sunghoon knows to interpret as his âabout to say something ridiculousâ look. âPretty sure I could call YN right now, and sheâd answer.âÂ
Thereâs a pit in Sunghoonâs stomach as Heeseung turns his head in the other direction like heâs been slapped, trembling with stifled laughter. At least Jake doesnât hide his amusement, throwing his head back in a fit of giggles that draw nasty looks from the other students in the library. Sunghoon doesnât waste his energy trying to argue because Jayâs right.
Now composed, Heeseung turns back to the table, flipping through some of Sunghoonâs course materials to find whatever his class was doing in class that week. The English Literature class heâs taking â The Modernist Movement: Joyce, Woolf, and Hemingway â is the same class he had to send a million emails over the summer to get enrolled in, but itâs the same one Heeseung aced two years ago. Lucky for him none of the boys seem to be in the mood to make fun of him for trying so hard to have a class in common with you, and then practically failing out of it before the term had started properly.
âThis class is, like, beyond easy, dude.â Heeseung pauses to sniffle and twist the stud in his ear. âEveryone in my class aced it. How are you doing so badly already?âÂ
âI only took it because YN thought itâd be fun if we had a class together, but.. I kind of havenât been going since we stopped talking.â Sunghoon shrugs, pretending to be unaffected.Â
As if the mere mention of your name has some sort of summoning power, like saying Biggie Smalls in the mirror three times, you appear in his eye line, rounding the corner with a furious stride. Your demeanour crumbles when Jay waves at you, and you grin, waving back, but as soon as you look Sunghoon in the eye again, the rage comes back, and you smack a hand on the table when you reach it, leaning over to him.Â
âSunghoon, a word?â you ask.
He thinks youâre asking, but itâs hard to tell with the way you set your jaw afterwards, and the way the warmth of your signature vanilla scent hits him hard. Dazed, Sunghoon lifts a hand, pointing at himself. âMe?âÂ
âDoes anyone else at the table answer to Sunghoon?âÂ
âOkay,â he says, somewhat pathetically, nudging Jay for laughing at him.Â
As slowly as possible, Sunghoon pushes his chair from the table and stands up, following you to the corner of the references section where only anthropology students in scratchy thrift store knits, and Jay, come to check out encyclopaedias by volume. You look good, save for the rage written all over your faceâwhich, honestly, Sunghoon thinks he likes.
Sunghoon isnât sure what to expect, so he says, âHey.â Heâs being cautious, waiting a moment to gauge your reaction. âWhatâs gooooood?â His cheeks burn as soon as he closes his mouth around the vowel, but you laugh. You laugh, and itâs beautiful and happy, and youâre laughing because of himâor at him, but heâs glad either way.Â
Annoyance quickly clears all traces of amusement on your face. âWere you ever going to tell me weâre spending next week at Mum and Dadâs?â you ask.Â
Sunghoon gasps dramatically, clicking his fingers. âI knew there was something Iâve been meaning to do.âÂ
His attempt at lightening the mood falls flat, and you only nudge his shoulder gently, sighing. âCan you be serious? For once in your life, even for a second, can you please think about how the things you say affect me?â Youâre frowning, crossing your arms over your chest and looking at your feet. âItâs not fair, Sunghoon. For you to keep saying thingsâmaking plans involving me and then acting like Iâm the bad guy when I turn you down.âÂ
âI donât think youâre the bad guy at all,â Sunghoon admits. âIf anyone is in the wrong, itâs me, I guess.â
You scoff, looking at him like you hate him. âYou guess? Are you serious?â You look furious, but you sound hurt and Sunghoon hates it. Hates himself. âI canât have this conversation with you right now. Tell mum Iâm sick, and itâs contagious.â You roll your eyes and walk away, leaving Sunghoon alone with his thoughts and judgemental stares from students in crochet scarves so long they graze the floor.Â
He sighs, slumping against the wall. How does he keep getting it wrong with you?Â
Back at the table, Sunghoon manages to act like heâs not falling apart and makes some serious headway on his missing assignments with Heeseungâs help before they call it a day as the sun starts to set.Â
When he gets home, he lies down on his bedroom floor, spending hours poring over the conversation you had. Over the minute changes in your facial expression, the tone of your voice, and the endless list of things he should have done, rather than watch you walk away.Â
The moment feels familiar, both identical to and worlds apart from what happened after you left three months ago. When he managed to scrape the last shreds of his dignity from the kitchen table, he dragged his feet to his room and lay down like he is now, face to the rug. That day, he left his door open and lay so still that Jake thought he was dead. Sunghoon remembers wishing he had been.Â
For once in your life, even for a second, can you please think about how the things you say affect me? The words run on a loop in his mind, over and over, until he canât remember the order of the sentence or where you put emphasis. Theyâre cutting all the same.Â
Sunghoon sighs into the itchy fibres of his black rug before rolling onto his back. In the diminishing purple light of the setting sun. he looks at the walls of his room. At the Fleetwood Mac poster, he stole from Jay when they moved out of their first year dorm, that curls away from the wall towards the ceilingâa diagonal strip of shiny tape being the only indication of the otherwise invisible tear through the face of Stevie Nicks.Â
Heâs glad when his phone rings, cutting through the quiet, though the sight of your name and the anatomical heart emoji next to it only dampens his spirit. Reluctantly, Sunghoon answers the phone, holding it to his ear.Â
âI just got off the phone with Dad..â You trail off. Tangible silence follows, so thick it weighs on his chest. âIâll go home with you.âÂ
âYou will?âÂ
âYes. Goodbye.âÂ
Sunghoon reaches your flat at five in the evening. You donât smile when you open the door for him, nor do you invite him in. Instead, you dump your bag at your feet and he cringes, looking from the floor to you. Youâre aggressively beautiful and cosy-looking as you pull a jacket over the sweater you wore that night. Sunghoonâs heart aches in his chest and he wonders if you even realise. Suddenly, the memory of the last thing you said the morning after hits him like a truck: Then letâs not be friends at all.Â
A familiar weight lands on his shoulderâyour hand. Concern lines your eyes as you ask if heâs okay.Â
With a lump in his throat, Sunghoon nods.Â
In the discomfort of his car, the two of you sit in silence while he starts the drive home.Â
âHowâs Yeonjun,â he asks, eyes flicking towards you but regretting it immediately when he sees how you clench your jaw.Â
âNo,â you say simply, shaking your head. âYou donât get to ask me about him.âÂ
These are the only words you exchange until Sunghoon stops for petrol. He has enough fuel for the rest of the journey, but he feels like dying and thinks the fresh air might quell his thoughts of running his car off the road. Like always, the two of you get out and head into the kiosk, where he follows you wordlessly through the aisles, watching you debate on snack choices before settling on the same things you always get. Sunghoon pays for your snacks and you roll your eyes but donât protest, mumbling thanks as you take them into your arms, leading the way back outside.
He knows he needs to tell you before you reach the house, but heâs not entirely sure how to say itâso he just does. âMy, uh.. my parents think weâre dating.â
You stop so suddenly in front of him that he almost bumps into you. Stepping around you, Sunghoon keeps walking.Â
Over the top of his car, he watches your face cycle through all five stages of grief until anger comes back around in the loop as you scoff. âWhy do they think that?â Your face is devoid of expression now, the blankness over your features dragging a sharp chill over his spine.Â
He stares blankly at you, processing. âBecause I told them weâre dating,â he mumbles.Â
âWhy did you.. do that?â You tilt your head, eyes pressing shut in a long blink. âWhat are you even talking about? Why did you.. What?âÂ
A thin layer of sweat coats his palms despite the cold. Why did he do that? âWe can stage a breakup during the trip or say we broke up right now,â Sunghoon offers. âJust one night, YN, please.âÂ
The wind whistles by, ruffling your hair and jacket that you hug tightly to your chest. Behind you, Sunghoon takes note of the group of girls standing by the pumps, all five of them jerking their heads abruptly when they notice him watching, suddenly finding interest in the scattered litter and flickering halogen bulbs in the steel canopy over their heads.Â
Youâre staring when he looks back at you, nostrils twitching with a sniffle before you sigh. âOr we could say that youâre a liar and end things there,â you say. âOr better yet, you go down there on your own and tell them the truth.â
Sunghoonâs gaze drops, his thoughts racing in his mind. He knows youâre right. At some point, his parents will have to find out, and itâd be better for them to find out now. Sunghoon sighs, nodding. âAlright,â he concedes. âIâll take you back.â
An angry laugh comes out of you as you shake your head. âNo need, Iâll walk.âÂ
The station youâre at is neatly nestled in the middle of nowhere, on a road so narrow heâs not even sure it has a pavement. Youâre halfway through the three-hour drive, so thereâs no telling how long the walk would be, never mind the fact that the sun is already setting and itâs deep enough into October for the wind to sting.Â
âFrom here?â he asks, incredulous.Â
âYes, open the boot so I can get my bag.âÂ
Sunghoon can only bring himself to say your name, a desperate whisper.Â
âOpen the boot.â
He repeats your name as if itâll make a difference, heâs pleading with you, beggingâthough he doesnât know for what.Â
You go to the back of his car where Sunghoon joins you, a pit in his stomach when you step away. With misty eyes, you look up at him and his heart breaks. âPlease.â
Sunghoon knows you well enough to know that youâre not actually going to attempt the walk home but also knows that you wonât back down if he keeps challenging you. He nods, opening the boot for you and getting into the driverâs seatâyour move.Â
You stand there, unmoving, and long enough passes that he thinks youâll actually leave. The boot closes softly and you join him in the passenger seat. You sigh, buckling your seatbelt. âLetâs just get this over with.âÂ
For the rest of the journey, you sit in silence as Sunghoon briefs you on the relationship, fighting a smile as he thinks about being your boyfriendâeven if only for a night. You scoff when he âremindsâ you that youâve been together for four months now and the only reason you havenât been able to come home recently is that your schedules donât match up very well anymoreâwhich couldnât be further from the truth as, before term started, you went out to celebrate the fact that your class schedules couldnât be more suited for seeing each other.Â
Finally, at Sunghoonâs childhood home, the two of you smile and laugh for his parents before going to bed. Your relationship has only made his mother more averse to the idea of you sharing a room under her roof than she had been when you were younger. Heâs relieved about this, and in the solitude of his bedroom, he lies on the duvet of his twin bed, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about the last few hours.Â
With his parents, youâd sat up in the living room watching TV. They sat on the couch together, his mum nestled in his dadâs side, while you two sat on the couch opposite, mirroring their position. If your complete stiffness was anything to go by, you were less than comfortable with his arm around you and Sunghoon felt terrible for begging you to go along with this. It was after midnight when you all went upstairs and you let him kiss your forehead before all but slamming the door to the guest room in his face. His heart twirled and his mum beamed at him before saying goodnight again.Â
Now, at 3 a.m. he canât sleep. Flinching at the knock on his door, he furrows his brows and goes to open it. Itâs you. Standing there with your hair scraped away from your face in one of his t-shirts. Your eyes are red, brimmed with tears as you step into his room and sit on his bed.Â
He closes the door softly, heart aching at the sight of you so upset, and when he sits next to you, his heart tears apart because you move over, putting a distance between you. It falls out of his chest onto the floor when he realises youâre not wearing your necklace.Â
Sunghoon suspected you might have stopped wearing it, it only made sense that if you didnât want him, you wouldnât want the necklace he bought for you either, but at least earlier, your sweatshirt sat so high he couldnât see if you had it on or not.Â
It was a gift for your sixteenth birthday, after your first heartbreak. He was so upset and angry that you let some loser hurt you that way, upset and angry that someone could be loved by you and fuck it up. Sunghoon was inspired by Jay, whoâd gotten a pretty necklace for his girlfriend, and talked about her cute reaction for weeks, how happy she was to have a piece of him with her all the time. It was a locket, with a picture of Jay in one side and a picture of her in the other so the pictures would kiss when she wore it.Â
While at the jewellers with Jake, Sunghoon thought something like that might be a bit much for the two of you and eventually picked out an equally pretty piece with his first initial on it. He wrote a corny note to put in the box, something about how âboys come and go but Sunghoon is foreverâ and gave it to you with trembling hands a few nights laterâit was the first time he ever made you cry. Immediately, he thought heâd done something wrong and was ready to snatch the box and run back to the jewellers (even though he trashed the receipt). You hugged him and told him you loved him. Sunghoonâs been riding that high ever since.Â
Until tonight at least.Â
âAre you okay?â he whispers.Â
âIâll do it, Hoon.â Your eyes lift from the floor to meet his gaze. âFor as long as you need me to, Iâll pretend.â
As soon as the words leave your mouth, Sunghoon feels lighter, an unbearable weight slipping from his shoulders. You havenât called him âHoonâ in ages, and he canât tell if youâve said it out of vulnerability, or even noticed that youâve said it at all, but it warms his heart nonetheless. However, heâs not fully at ease, still curious about your sudden change of heart and why youâre crying.Â
âWhat happened?â
You pull him into a hug, and his eyes bulge out of his head. âIt doesnât matter,â you say, the words muffled by the skin at the base of his neck.Â
For as long as heâs known you, youâve smelled like vanilla, a sweet warmth that grounds him. Yet itâs only after these months apart that heâs able to put a name to the sensation: home. The realisation of how much heâs missed this feeling, missed you, floods him with a rush of emotion so overwhelming he canât find the words to press the issue. A moment passes before he remembers to hug you back, his arms finally wrapping around you, pulling you close, and you sink into his hold. Months ago, he would have kissed the top of your head and mumbled reassurance into your hair, but tonight, Sunghoon settles for stroking the back of your head and hopes itâs enough.Â
âYou can talk to me, you know? You can always talk to me.â
A heavy silence follows, sharp as a daggerâscraping his skin, making the hair on the back of his neck stand on edge and lodging itself between his shoulder blades. Sunghoonâs breath hitches in his throat when you cling onto him even tighter, shifting so close youâve had to settle in his lap. His heart races in his chest, pounding a rhythm so loud it fills the room.Â
Finally, you speak, assuring him that you know and that youâre okay. At this, Sunghoon holds you as tight as he can, and neither of you speaks for the rest of the night. You fall asleep like this, in his arms, so deeply that you donât even stir when he lies down.Â
Rubbing your back, he watches the clock on his nightstand, the piercing green LED digits cycling through two whole hours right before his stinging eyes until you wake up. Sunghoon presses his eyes shut, pretending to be asleep when you kiss his cheek and leave his room.Â
For the entire morning, you stay in your room, and although Sunghoon is concerned, he decides not to bother you. In the afternoon, he sits at the dining table with his mum, listening as she talks about work. When she asks him, he gets up to make a cup of tea for her. Itâs at that moment when you finally come downstairs, looking so effortlessly pretty. Your hair is still damp from the shower, and youâre bundled up in one of his old sweatshirts. Thereâs a bright grin on your face that leaves his heart thudding.Â
âBaby!â you squeal when you see him, charging towards him and wrapping your arms around him from behind. âGood morning.â Your words are muffled against the back of his t-shirt, and the four-letter word, and the sugar coating it, make his cheeks burn.Â
âItâs great to see you too, YN,â his mum says with a smile. âMy night was amazing; I slept very well and had no dreams.âÂ
You let go of Sunghoon and walk over to the table, kissing his mum on the cheek and wishing her a good morning as well. âSorry, mum, how are you?âÂ
His mother doesnât seem to have the heart to correct you either, allowing your 3 p.m. âgood morningâ to go unnoticed.Â
Sunghoon carefully fills both mugs to the brim and, with extra caution, carries them to the table. He places a steaming cup of peppermint tea in front of his mum and a milky coffee in front of you. A warm smile spreads across your face as you mouth a âthank youâ, and his knees turn to jelly.Â
The next day, after eating an early dinner with his parents at the table, the four of you go out on a walk along the bike path you used to take for school. His parents have gone ahead, not intentionally, but because Sunghoon canât stop you from dragging your feet.Â
As with most things in the town where you grew up, nothing about the trail has changed. The leaves are yellowing in standard form for the season, and crunching under his feet with each step he takes. The only foreign experience is the silence that youâre determined to uphold. Everything Sunghoon says to you is met with either a hum, a nod, or no acknowledgement at all. At this point, he feels like he could drop dead at your side and the most youâd do is step over his body like a fallen branch.Â
After letting you go ahead, the weathered slats of the wooden footbridge sag in the middle under his tread. Itâs been like this for as long as he can remember and he wonders how nothing has been done about it. The stream rushes under it, loud and unruly, the smell of wet grass both comforting and suffocating as you look over the railing. Itâs like something from a postcard, the low-hanging branches sweeping back and forth under the breeze, the grass lush and green around the path, murky water thrashing against the mud and rocks underneath with you in the middle of the frame, peering over the edge.
You keep walking when Sunghoon approaches, leaving him alone on the creaky bridge with nothing but the ache in his chest. He looks up, staring at the grey clouds in the sky through the gaps in the leaves, and sighs.Â
Eventually, he catches up with you, grabbing your hand and locking his fingers with yours when his parents slow down. You stiffen, looking up at him with cut eyes and a creased brow. âWhat are you doing?â
Sunghoon matches your clipped tone. âHolding my girlfriendâs hand.âÂ
âNo oneâs looking, boyfriend.â
âYou think my parents arenât going to wonder why weâre lagging behind?âÂ
A scoffâyour fingers remain defiantly stiff. âDo you think your parents are going to care whether or not weâre holding hands?âÂ
âMy mum might after the show you put on yesterday afternoon, baby.â Bitterness covers the word like a blanket, a stark departure from how you said it.Â
A long sigh rumbles its way out of you before you fix your lips into a strained grin. âSorry, sweetheart, this is my first time pretending to be in love.âÂ
As your words hang in the air, Sunghoonâs emotions brew like a storm within him. Frustration gnaws at his patience. All hopes for a smooth week are dashed, though determination simmers in his chest with a strong resolve to make this work, to fix your relationship. It doesnât stop the sharp pang of hurt piercing his stomachâhe knows you donât feel the same way, he knows youâre faking, but the word âpretendingâ hits him like a truck anyway.Â
âWe held hands all the time when we were friends,â he points out.
Your smile drops immediately, hurt flashing behind your eyes. âYeah, and now weâre not.âÂ
If there was a competition for who could hurt Sunghoonâs feelings the most, youâd be a shoo-in for first place. With distinction.Â
âExactly!â he says, feeling the sting of his own words. âBecause now weâre dating.â
At the sight of his mum turning around, you switch up in an instant. Lock your fingers with his, wrapping an arm around his bicep, leaning into him, giggling. Itâs forced but his parents are far enough away that all that matters is the curve of your lips.
âYou two okay back there?â she asks.Â
âPerfect! I feel like a kid again!â you call back, beaming up at Sunghoon in a way that makes his stomach flutter even though it doesnât meet your eyes.Â
The two of you donât talk at all when you get home, with you hugging his parents goodnight and running up the stairs.Â
âSheâs not feeling too well,â he explains, nodding when his dad tells him to make you some tea.Â
His parents spend the whole day at work, and you spend the whole day following him around like a shadow until the evening when they return. He doesnât pretend not to like it.
Sunghoon helps you make dinner, turning leftover rice into fried rice with the help of some eggs and vegetables. Itâs nice moving around the kitchen with you, watching you scramble eggs in his t-shirt and bump his hip with a playful frown when he eats some of the peppers youâre chopping.Â
His parents watch from the table, cooing over the two of you and he does his best to fight the blush forming on his cheeks and neck. Embarrassed, he hugs you from behind, hiding his face in your neckâthe scent of your coconut conditioner mixing with your vanilla perfume doesnât do anything to stop the flush.Â
Over a bottle of wine, the four of you eat together at the table, swapping stories about your days. Sunghoon tries to hide his surprise as you lie about the time you spent at the play park by your primary school, competing for height on the swings and spinning on the roundabout until you couldnât stand up. You grin at him, and it meets your eyes as you hold his hand under the table, and kiss his cheek.
After eating, his parents head upstairs, leaving to clean up together. You hum a song heâs never heard as you load the dishwasher, carefully placing the plates and cutlery in the rack, shaking your head when he hands you the glasses youâd used.Â
âLeave ours,â you say. âIf you want.âÂ
Sunghoon nods, putting them back on the table, where you sit in the seat across from the one he was sitting in. He sits too, staying quiet rather than saying the wrong thing. You donât speak either. Itâs reminiscent of the pastâthe hours youâd spend in the same room, only speaking to share a funny post youâd come across or to ask if you were hungry.Â
His eyes track your movementsâreaching for the half-empty bottle on the table to pour yourself another glass, filling it to the brim. Before putting it down, you offer him some, filling his glass too when he nods. The three glasses of wine heâs already had must be the reason he wants to reach across the table and hold your hand, run his thumb over the soft skin on the back of it.Â
Sunghoon doesnât know why youâve been so nice to him all day or why it makes his chest hurt.Â
âYou know you donât have to be nice to me when weâre alone, right?â The words come out before he can stop them.
Over the top of your glass, your brows knit together. A sound of confusion, a low hum, comes from your throat as you try to finish your sip. âWhat?â you ask finally.Â
âI only asked you to do this because of my parents, you know? You donât have to sit or talk with me when theyâre not around.âÂ
Sunghoonâs known you long enough to recognise the look that flashes across your face. The way your eyes narrow and your brows tug together, the little pout that sets on your lips before you speak; youâre hurt.
âWhy canât I just be nice to you because itâs the right thing to do?âÂ
Because it hurts, is what he wants to say. He wants to cry, to beg you to forget everything he said that day. âBecause I donât want to make you any more uncomfortable than I already have.â Is what he settles for.Â
Your face softens. âI donât feel uncomfortable around you, Hoon. We were best friends for ages, I donât think you could ever make me uncomfortable.â You pause to take a gulp of wine. âWhy canât I just want to be nice to you?âÂ
Sunghoon has to chew on his cheek to distract himself from how much your word choice stings. The implications of were and all of your past tense. âIâm sorry,â he says.Â
âWhat for?âÂ
âEverything.âÂ
Thereâs a sadness in the way you run your fingers on the base of your glass. The way you chew on your lip, how your hair falls when you tilt your head and how it moves when you shake it. âItâs not your fault,â you say. âI donât know anyone who would choose to have unrequited feelings for their best friend.âÂ
Wow, he thinks. Youâre on a roll. Sunghoon wonders if youâre meticulously choosing your phrasing to upset him. Wonders why you feel the need to remind him that his feelings arenât reciprocated as if he didnât live through and spend hours reliving the day he confessed.Â
âBut I didnât have to tell you about it. It was unfair of me to spring that on you when I knew about Yeonjun.âÂ
âDid you.. did you think I was going to leave him for you?âÂ
âMaybe?â Sunghoon chews on his lipâhe has no idea what he thought would happen. âI think I thought I loved you enough for both of us, that you might play the part for fun or out of curiosity, and.. I donât know, just learn to love me.â
âHoon,â you whisper, frowning. âHow could you even think about settling for something like that?âÂ
Sunghoon shrugs. âItâs not settling if itâs you.âÂ
Silence takes a seat at the table after he speaks, interrupted only by the ticking clock on the wallâa glittery mess of scrapbooking paper and washi tape layered over each other that Yeji had decorated at summer camp years ago. Youâre picking at your fingernails, letting flecks of black polish fall to the table, stark against the varnished oak.Â
âI know itâs not my place to ask,â Sunghoon starts after a while, hesitant and only continuing when you nod. âBut what did Yeonjun say when you told him? About.. everything?âÂ
You take a long sip from your glass and sit quietly for so long that he thinks youâre not going to answer himâhe doesnât blame you.Â
âI didnât.âÂ
He waits for you to elaborate. You donât.Â
Sunghoon nods slowly, deciding not to ask any follow-up questions. Instead, he takes another drink, scrunching his nose at the bitter taste. âHe didnât ask why we stopped hanging out?â he blurts out.
âI told him we fell out but I didnât say why.â You shrug, but your posture is stiff.Â
âWhere did you tell him you were going to be this week?â He knows itâs not his business at all, that heâs pushing your boundaries, but he canât help his curiosity.
âNowhere.âÂ
âYou told him you were staying on campus?âÂ
âI didnât tell him anything.â Your gaze shifts, avoiding his as you toy with the stem of your glass. You drum your nails against it, letting the dull clink ring out.Â
âSo you just left?âÂ
âDoes it make a difference to you?âÂ
Sunghoon nods.
For a while, you tug at the drawstrings on your hoodie, pursing your lips to the side, considering this. âYeonjun and I arenât together anymore.â Your admission is so shocking that Sunghoonâs jaw drops. He tries to cover his surprise by coughing, his tongue sticking out like a small child. âI didnât want to say anything because I didnât want you to think it was because of you.âÂ
Sunghoonâs thoughts move at lightspeed, too fast for him to catch onto any of them and process this information. His emotions compete with each otherâdisbelief, guilt, and a painful glimmer of hope he hadnât dared to acknowledge until now all at the forefront.Â
âWas it?â he asks. âBecause of me?âÂ
You scoffâan incredulous sound that doesnât match the sad look on your face. âI donât know, Sunghoon. Do you think my boyfriend used me to make his ex jealous because of you?â
Heâs not sure what he expected you to say, but this is.. Complete disbelief eclipses him as his heart sinks in his chest, shock, and guilt bubbling in his stomach.Â
âIâm sorry,â he says after too long. âThat I wasnât there. That I havenât been there.âÂ
âYou didnât know,â you say, gaze softening as you look up at him.Â
âBut I made you feel like you couldnât talk to me about it.âÂ
You shake your head. âI made me feel like I couldnât talk to you about it. All you did was change the friendship, Iâm the one who ended it.â
âI still shouldâve been there.âÂ
âYouâre here now, right?âÂ
Sunghoon nods, earnestly. âAlways.âÂ
Only one thing comes to mind when you repeat the word âalwaysâ before taking a sip from your glass, downing its contents. Sunghoon gets up and crosses the room with wobbly steps to open the fridge, where he pulls out as many bottles of soju as he can hold in his hands and puts them down on the table. He goes back to collect some glasses from the cabinet, puts some of the leftover fried rice from dinner into the microwave, and brings it all over when itâs done, with bowls and utensils. You watch him with a fond smile as he opens a bottle and he hopes you think the flush on his cheeks is from all the drinking youâve been doing.Â
âIs it bad that Iâve missed doing this?â Youâre grinning now.
Sunghoon shakes his head, raising his glass. âTo YNâs fifteenth heartbreak.âÂ
You grin, clinking the rim of your glass against his. âTo YNâs fifteenth heartbreak,â you repeat.Â
Both of you down the glasses, and Sunghoon refills them, pouring the soju with an oddly steady hand. As you eat spoonfuls of rice and sip your drinks, silence settles over the room. The soft glow of the kitchen lights forms a warm ambience, a cosy familiarity that brings up simple memoriesâdoing homework together at the table while gossiping about your classmates, the first New Year after you were both eighteen and had your first drink with his parents.Â
For at least an hour, the only sounds are the occasional clinks of forks against bowls, glasses hitting the table, the faint hum of the refrigerator and the steady tick of Yejiâs clock. Sunghoonâs eyes meet yours, and he canât help but notice the slight change in your expression when they do.Â
You clear your throat, running a hand through your hair. âThis is my sixteenth, actually.âÂ
âWhat?âÂ
You take a small sip of soju, staring down at the table. âMy fifteenth heartbreak was losing you. Yeonjun is my sixteenth.â
In the two days since your soju ceremony, Sunghoon finds himself sinking into the role of your boyfriend like a hot bath. But thereâs no use pretending it doesnât hurt. Pretending it doesnât hurt when you kiss his cheek before bed, or when you reach out to push the hair out of his face or snuggle into his side on the couch; because it does hurtâa lot. It hurts to think that in three days when you put your bags in the boot of his car, youâll sit in silence all the way home. When he drops you off at your flat, youâll close the door in his face and stop talking to him again. These realisations are harder to confront when heâs alone in his room, like now.Â
About an hour ago, you asked if you could borrow his car, saying there was something you needed to do on your own. It seemed important, so he handed over his keys with no question. Sighing, Sunghoon gets up from his bed and heads to the shower, where he jerks off to clear his mind. On his way back to his room, he notices the light leaking from the open kitchen door that illuminates the landing.Â
He hears the lock on the front door clicking, and stands at the top of the stairs, dripping water onto the carpet while listening attentively. His ears perk up when he hears a gaspâhis mother.Â
âWhatâs this for?â she asks.Â
âI just..â You trail off. âI know itâs not much, but I wanted to thank you both for always looking after me.â You pause, and Sunghoon holds his breath, waiting. Your voice trembles as you continue. âItâs been hard since my parents went back home, and I guess it was still hard when they were here, but you both supported me. I donât think I couldâve managed without you guys. I want to make you guys proud, you know? And Iâm trying, really, so this is me saying thank you. Iâm sorry it took me so long.âÂ
He grips the railing by the landing, digging his nails into the wood until they start hurtingâan ache in his fingertips that makes him wince.Â
An odd feeling settles in his stomach, a bittersweetness tinged in his fondness for you, and the gentle shock of realising how much his parents have done for you. Growing up, you became an honorary member of Sunghoonâs family. His parents showered you with gifts during holidays and birthdays, which you often celebrated with them rather than your own family.Â
The memory of your parentsâ sudden decision to move across the country still lingers, and Sunghoon vividly recalls the tearful conversation he overheard at the top of the stairs. Your parents understood the enormity of their request but had earnestly asked if Sunghoonâs parents could continue looking after you.Â
His chest tightens when you start crying.Â
âYou donât have to thank us for anything, sweetie. Just you being here and taking care of our boy is more than enough thanks. You never forget our birthdays, and you always come and visit when you can. Youâre doing a great job, and you should give yourself some credit,â his dad says, a little choked up. âWeâve always been proud of you.âÂ
Sunghoonâs eyes sting with tears and his skin gets dry in the spots where the water from the shower is evaporating. He presses his fingers to his closed eyes, forcing a few tears to fall and walks the rest of the way to his room with his eyes shut. He canât hear anything through his closed bedroom door, which he decides is a good thing as he coats himself in moisturiser and swipes deodorant under his arms with intention to spend the whole night alone. Once heâs dressed, he gets into bed and pretends not to be bothered by the way his wet hair dampens his pillow. Under the duvet, he tosses and turns before sighing and heading to Yejiâs room.
In her absence, the roomâs subtle transformation is stark. The sage green-painted walls, once a backdrop to the A3 faces of Wave to Earth and Beabadoobee, now bear the faint imprints of those missing posters. Tiny, shadowy rectangles are the only remnants of the 6x4-sized pictures of her and her friends, of her and Sunghoon, that she took away with her to school.
Her hairdryer is still on her desk where sheâd left it for him to use and he sits in her stiff wooden chair, plugging it in. The airflow starts immediately, hot and loud, humming throughout the space as he runs his fingers through his wet hair, feeling cosy under the heat. His shampoo is fresh and soapy scented under his nose, and his reflection watches him in Yejiâs mirror, eyes red and concerned while his hair blows around his head. Sunghoon closes his eyes and finishes his hair, sighing as he lets his worries slip under the whir of the fan.Â
Finished, he shuts off the dryer and opens his eyes, flinching at your reflection in the doorway behind him with a soft smile on your face. âMum and Dad are going to open a bottle of wine if you want to join,â you say, meeting his eyes in the mirror.Â
Sunghoon canât find it in himself to speak, only nodding in response. You smile wider but donât move. He unplugs the hairdryer and leaves it on the desk where he found it before crossing the room. Without giving himself a chance to think about it, he pulls you into a hug and kisses the top of your head, smiling into your hair when you wrap your arms around his waist, holding him closer.Â
Youâre sitting on the edge of the bathtub, mumbling sleepily that youâre never going to drink again, and Sunghoon leans over the sink brushing his teeth, heâs glad you have the decency to cover your mouth as you speak.Â
âBrush your teeth and go back to sleep then,â he mumbles around his toothbrush.Â
You donât respond.Â
Sunghoon sighs through his nose, spitting foamy toothpaste into the sink, leaving bubbly, blue splatters on the porcelain. âAnd quit staring at me, I can feel your beady little eyes on the back of my neck and itâs freaking me out.âÂ
âBut youâre so pretty,â you coo.Â
Thereâs a flutter in his stomach and he rinses off the sink and his mouth, buying himself some time. With a hand on the Listerine, he lifts his gaze to meet yours in the mirror and stops short. Youâre still staring at him, features soft and glowing under the afternoon light. You look like an angel; a gentle smile spreading over your lips, and a sleepy glint sparkling in your eyes, wide and gorgeous as you watch him. Sunghoon gulps, mumbling his thanks and looking back at himself. He hopes you canât see the flush on his cheeks.Â
âGo back to sleep,â he says.Â
âWill you come and lie down with me if I do?â Your voice is a sleepy drawl, coming out in a slow, high-pitched slur, and your eyes are closing on themselves.Â
Lying down doesnât sound like a terrible idea, especially not if itâs with you, so he nods. âIf you brush your teeth, then yeah, baby, Iâll lie down with you.âÂ
You chuckle softly at Sunghoonâs agreement, the sound carrying a mix of exhaustion and genuine amusement, showing no repulsion to him calling you the B-word. He didnât mean to, itâs been a confusing few days. You nod, saluting to him and getting up to join him by the sink, using your hip to bump him out of the way, but he feels like heâs glued to the spot.Â
âMove, baby,â you mumble sleepily, reaching for your toothbrush. âWe can cuddle in my bed,â you suggest, to which Sunghoon only nods, taking your words as a cue to unstick his feet from the floor and go to your room, playing the word âbabyâ on a loop in his head.Â
He stands in the doorway staring at your bed, the duvet is all crumpled in the middle, and the pillows are in an L shape at the top corner. He sighs, he canât go on like this, canât stand around hoping even a tiny part of you called him âbabyâ and it meant something for you as it did for him. Itâs not fair for him to project his feelings on you like this, but he canât help it. Youâre already pretending for his parents, so would it be so bad to pretend for his sake as well? Even if only until the day after tomorrow when you leave?Â
The sound of the bathroom door shutting behind you snaps him out of his thoughts, your bright smile making his heart race when you tug him by the sleeve to your bed where the mattress dips underneath you as you curl into his form, resting your head on his chest and falling asleep. Youâve shared the bed before, countless times, but he knows youâve only asked him because youâre tired. Because your brain is foggy with drowsiness that clouds your judgement, not because you want him there, not because you miss him when heâs two doors down the hall, tossing and turning at night thinking about you. He wonders absently if you can feel his aching heart beating through his chest, a painful, yet all too familiar rhythm that pulls his own eyes shut, plunging him into a deep sleep too.
Itâs dark in the room when he wakes up, the sun already down behind the curtains and the soft yellow of the bedside lamp casting a glow around the space. Youâre staring up at him, smiling and you donât look away when he catches you. âWhat is it?â he asks, voice thick with sleep.Â
âNothing,â you mumble. âI just missed you.â Sunghoon has no time to respond or even register what you said before you clear your throat, speaking again. âCome on, dadâs cooking tonight, heâll need help.âÂ
Helping Sunghoonâs dad with dinner always looks an awful lot like Sunghoon eating snacks on the kitchen counter and staring at you as you help his dad cook. Tonight is no exception, heâs sitting on the island, and his snack of choice is a family pack of Chilli Heatwave Doritos his mum bought for Yeji. Heâll have to remember to replace them before leaving seeing as heâs reaching the halfway point.Â
You go back and forth with his dad about measurements, with you rummaging through the drawers for measuring cups while his dad says itâs best to trust your gut. Reluctantly, you nod, chewing the inside of your cheek as you watch him eyeball the seasoning.Â
The gas stove turns the kitchen into an oven, and you complain about it while opening a window, pulling your hoodie over your head and leaving it in Sunghoonâs lap. Time stops when you grin at him, the light from the stove hood illuminating the necklace youâre wearing, his initial resting on your chest and glowing under the light. He chokes around a crisp when he sees it, catching your attention with his coughing.Â
âYouâll spoil your dinner, snacking like that, baby,â you scold, using a hand to push his knee. âWeâre almost done, I swear.âÂ
All he can do is nod, cheeks burning as he folds the crisp packet over before putting it back in the bread bin where he found it.Â
âWow,â his dad says, resting his hands on his hips and shaking his head in amusement. âBeing in love looks good on him, heâd never have listened if I said that.âÂ
Itâs already your last day when Sunghoon picks up Yeji from school. She grumbles for the entire half-hour drive and all the way to the front door about why the two of you couldnât have started the trip today instead of ending it, but all of her irritation dissolves when she sees you in the hallway, leaving the front door wide open to fling her arms around you. You and Yeji exchange compliments for a while â You look so pretty. No, you look so pretty. I love your hair. I love your hair. â as Sunghoon locks the door and watches with a smile.
âGod.â Yeji sighs, holding you by the waist and craning her neck up to look at you, as you push some of her hair from her face, pinning back her wispy bangs with the palm of your hand. Yeji giggles. âIâm so happy you two are together, even though I have no idea what a girl like you sees in my loser brother.âÂ
Sunghoon rolls his eyes, leaning back against the wall. Despite his mild irritation at Yejiâs words, he finds the sight of you with her so adorable his stomach flutters. Over the top of Yejiâs head, you look at him with a fond smile. âHeâs not so bad.âÂ
It doesnât sound like a compliment, but Sunghoon takes it to heart.Â
Like always, Yeji manages to capture your undivided attention and the two of you giggle and whisper with each other all afternoon while Sunghoon watches, too enamoured by the sight to care about being left out. An hour or so passes like this, until his parents get home from work, excited to see Yeji after a few weeks, and you leave her side, coming to cuddle with Sunghoon instead.Â
Itâs nice being home with everyone, laughing and sharing a meal before his family walks the two of you to his car with at least a monthâs worth of cooked food for you to share at university. Yeji makes you pinky promise that she can visit you and waves with a pout on her face until the car is out of view.
Contrary to what heâd been expecting, the drive back is nice. Your playlist is on, and youâre telling him about all the new songs you added, catching him up on things with Chaewon and Yunjin, and all the things you got up to in the time you spent apart. You tell him about a new cafĂ© that opened up near your place and how youâll have to go together when he has the time, and Sunghoon bites his tongue before telling you that he always has time for you. The first half of the trip goes on like this but you start dozing off around the halfway mark, your sentences becoming few and far between, eventually turning into half-mumbled thoughts that end prematurely.Â
Youâre still asleep when he reaches your flat, head propped up against the window with your soft lips parted, looking too pretty and cosy to wake up. Instead, he drives in circles around your block, deciding to wait for you to wake up on your own. It only takes a half-hour but you blink your eyes open, stretching your neck before looking around and out the car window, recognising the street. You donât say anything, only smiling when you look at him, a small curve of your lips that makes his heart race.
He gets out of the car with you, opening the boot to get your bag before pulling you into his chest for a hug, liking the way your arms settle around his waist. âThank you,â he mumbles into your hair.Â
Sunghoon doesnât follow you when you take your bag from him, only watching from the back of his car. You donât notice until you reach the main door, looking over your shoulder and frowning at him. âArenât you going to walk me up?âÂ
The two of you walk in silence up four flights of stairs as the lift in your building is out of order. Your bag feels much heavier in his hand now than it did outside. At your door, he watches you dig around for your keys, sighing with relief when you find them.Â
âDo you want to come in?â you ask from your open doorway.
âIâuhâI have training in the morning and Iâm already pretty tired, so..â He trails off.
Unfazed, you nod. âRight, of course. I had fun this week.âÂ
âYeah, me too.âÂ
You smile at him, sweet and sincere. âText me when you get home, yeah?âÂ
Sunghoon nods, saying goodbye. Out of habit, he doesnât leave your doorstep until he hears the lock click shut, and walks back to his car with his head down.Â
True to his word, he sends you a text to let you know he got back to his place safely and you read it immediately but donât reply. Itâs empty in the apartment, Jake is out with his football team and the space is larger than usual in his absence. Far too tired to even consider going out and joining him, Sunghoon goes through his night routine, putting his phone on the charger and stepping into the shower where he spends entirely too long wishing he could live in this week forever as he scrubs his body. With brushed teeth and damp hair, he goes back into his room where his phone lights up with a notification; a text, from you.
YNđ«: iâm glad you got home okay, i just got into bed :) i donât want to make you uncomfortable or overstep or anything and you can say no (obviously).. iâve been missing you so much and didnât know how to reach out or if you wanted me to but i had soooo much fun this week and spending time with you again made me happy, so iâd like it if we could keep hanging out, like before yk? ik itâs a long shot ahahaha but just say youâll think about it?Â
hoonie: Youâre not overstepping at all, Iâve missed you too, so bad. I had soooo much fun this week as well and Iâd like it a lot if we kept hanging out, thank you for agreeing and coming along đ If youâre free after Lit tmrw you could come over? Or we could go out and do something, whatever you prefer
hoonie: I missed you so much..Â
hoonie: đ€
The texts greet you as the first rays of Monday morning light filter into your room, instantly lifting your mood. Your bright smile doesnât escape Chaewonâs notice as you find her in the kitchen, bathed in the soft light seeping through the sheer curtains. The kettle is boiling with a loud rumble that fills the whole room and leaves her yelling as she speaks to you.Â
âGood trip?â she asks, coming over and hugging you. âNever leave me for that long again,â she mumbles into your shirt.Â
âIt was a week, Wonie,â you say, rolling your eyes even though you missed her too.Â
She leans away, looking at you with knitted brows. âIt was nine days.âÂ
âThe longest of my life.âÂ
Chaewon pulls air through her teeth, tilting her head and releasing you. âThat bad, huh?â she asks, walking back to her seat at your tiny square table and shooting you a look that tells you to join her.Â
During your trip, you gave her nightly updates over text, so you know she knows how much you enjoyed yourself, but you elaborate anyway, sitting across from her.Â
âNo, not at all,â you say, shaking your head and trying to fight a smile. âI had fun.â As soon as the words leave your mouth, you have to bite your bottom lip to stop the grin curving them; it doesnât work.Â
Chaewon raises a suggestive brow, crossing her arms over her chest. âHow much fun?âÂ
âYouâre disgusting.âÂ
âI didnât even say anything!â she defends, holding her hands up. âI made an implication. It was only a matter of time, you two have that whole.. lifelong best friends to lifelong lovers thing going on, and itâs hot.âÂ
âShut up.âÂ
âYouâre telling me, you spent nine days playing lovers with Sunghoon and you still donât want him? Youâre a lost cause, people would kill for that chance,â she says, tilting her head. âI think I would kill for that chance.âÂ
âDonât touch him.â
âOh?âÂ
âJesus, Chaewon, itâs not like that. Hoonâs too sensitive for your roster.âÂ
âI never said it was like anything, youâre the one whoâs dangling me over the ledge for saying I want to fuck your hot best friend.âÂ
âSunghoon isnât hot; heâs..â You find yourself at a loss for words, unsure how to continue your lie. Of course, Sunghoon is hot, youâve known since you were seventeen and spent the summer at your grandparentsâ house, only to come back to find your previously scrawny best friend having ditched his LEGOs for dumbbells. You sigh. âJust leave him alone.â
Chaewon grins, eyes sparkling as she leaves the table. âOkay,â she says in a singsong voice, leaving you and the irritation in your stomach alone in the kitchen.
You sigh, pressing your eyes shut and trying to will away your discomfort. Itâs not like Chaewon would actually try anything with Sunghoon. Right? Even if she did, it wouldnât bother you, nor would it be any of your business. Theyâre grownups and reserve the right to explore their options. Still, thereâs a nagging feeling you canât shake, an uninvited guest in the back of your mind.Â
When you check your phone, you realise you have half an hour before you need to head to campus, so you leave to get ready and text Sunghoon back on the way to your room.
you: sounds good, see u later đ€
After showering, you stand in front of your wardrobe, towel hanging from your body as you pick an outfit. For some reason, you feel under pressure, picking a pair of jeans that do the most for your ass and a low-cut top that Sunghoon once â drunkenly â said he loved on you.
You have the residual sting of mouthwash on your tongue, and one foot out the door when your phone vibrates in your hand.Â
hoonie: Do you want to head to class together?Â
you: sure! iâm omw out, where should i get you?Â
hoonie: .. Iâm outside your building :DÂ
Breathing a laugh through your nose, you donât fight the giddy smile on your face as you make your way downstairs to meet Sunghoon. Through the glass in the main door, heâs standing at the edge of the pavement and kicking a stone between his feet. The top of his puffer jacket covers the bottom half of his face, and the draught nips your skin when the door opens. Two girls you vaguely recognise stumble in with smudged makeup and heels in their hands, smiling at you while holding the door to let you out.
âHey!â you call out, jogging over to him.Â
Sunghoon turns around, his head poking out of his jacket to grin at you, holding a travel cup and an abundance of tinfoil in your direction.Â
âI wasnât sure if youâd have eaten anything yet, you donât normally in the morning,â he says, a sheepish smile spreading over his lips when you take it. âMatcha. Ham and cheese toastie.âÂ
âDid you make these?â you ask, inspecting the familiar cup and appreciating the warmth it provides.Â
He hums, nodding his head.
You ignore the heat spreading over your cheeks and thank him with a hug, grinning when he offers to hold your drink while you eat on the walk. The toastie is still hot, the cheese coming close to burning your tongue as you chew, but you appreciate it wholeheartedly, humming contently with each bite. When youâre done, you shove the foil into your pocket, taking your drink from him and smiling around the sweet taste of a matcha latte as he tells you about his schedule for the day.Â
âIâm meeting with Coach after class to talk about my grades, but Iâm all yours after that.âÂ
âTalk about your grades? Whatâs wrong with your grades?âÂ
Sunghoon groans, head falling back and highlighting the bump of his Adamâs apple. âMy grades are.. I failed my coursework this month, so I have resubmissions during finals, and I think heâll bench me if I fail again.âÂ
He sounds like heâs being serious, and if the look on his face is anything to go by, he is. The news creases your brows because for as long as you remember, Sunghoonâs grades were your parentsâ favourite point of comparison.
âReally?â you ask. He nods. âWhatâs up? Is something the matter?âÂ
A humourless laugh slips out of him before he pulls air through his teeth. âYeah, my best friend didnât talk to me for three months.âÂ
âOh..â Guilt stirs your stomach as you look up at him. âIâm sorry.â
âIâm not blaming you, itâs not like I was trying to talk and you ignored me.â He nudges your arm with his elbow, giving you a warm smile. âBut if you feel as guilty about it as you look, you can tutor me for Lit.âÂ
âDeal.âÂ
Sunghoon grins, wrapping his arm over your shoulders and holding you close; the action itself isnât unusual, but the increased heart rate it brings about is. âYouâre too good to me,â he says, holding onto you for the rest of the walk to class.
At his request, you sit with Sunghoon in the back row, watching as the lecture hall gradually fills up in front of you. He seems well-prepared, with his laptop and a small notepad and pen neatly arranged on the desk in front of him.
Throughout the class, your eyes inadvertently track his every move. He diligently types up colour-coded notes, occasionally pausing to write things in his notepad before continuing to type or stopping entirely to listen. Thereâs something melodic about his actions and the way his fingers run over the keyboard.Â
During a five-minute break, you glance at his screen. What you find is more than just lecture content; itâs a document adorned with Sunghoonâs own musings about Hemingwayâs style and carefully analysed quotations that go beyond the class discussion.
âHow are your notes so good?âÂ
âI picked up the book over the summer when you mentioned it,â Sunghoon replies with a shrug, a shy smile playing on his lips as he leans back in his seat. ïżœïżœI liked it.âÂ
A slow nod is your response, though your thoughts swirl like autumn leaves in a breeze. The last time Sunghoon read for leisure, you were in primary school, buddy reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid. But thisâthis is different. You canât help but stare at him, awestruck as you take him in. His eyes are wide, shining amber in the sunlight as he pushes some of his hair from his face, frowning when it falls back where it was.Â
âDonât look at me like that,â he mumbles.Â
Sunghoon takes a new line in his document and points at the screen where you watch the cursor move through the words heâs typing: I wouldâve read and annotated the Bible if you wanted me to..
Thereâs no time to digest what he wrote or the funny feeling in your chest as you reread it before he deletes the whole sentence, pressing his lips together and looking out the window. Speechless, you stare at his side profile, willing your heart rate to slip back to normal. Steep-sloping nose, plump lips flattened into a line, two points of the triangular mole constellation on his face. Analysis worsens your condition, breath hitching in your throat before stopping entirely. Warmth and trepidation blend within you, fuzzy enough at the edges to seem like one thingâa single force that makes your palm itch with desire, desperation, to reach out and run a finger over his features, feel the bump of the mole on his nose â the most prominent â against your skin.Â
You remain this way â silent, watching â even when your lecturer resumes the lesson, and Sunghoon starts typing, writing, and listening again. Polite enough to pretend he doesnât notice your gaze searing into his face.
After class, and his meeting with Coach, you let Sunghoon lead the conversation and the way to your flat, where you find Chaewon and Yunjin sitting on the couch, whispering to themselves while the two of you study at the coffee table. Itâs uncomfortable, an awkward height, too high for the way youâre sitting but you feel calm under the supervision of Chaewon and Yunjinâyou wonât do anything to merit teasing in front of them, no matter how badly you want to feel Sunghoonâs face in your hands or stroke his cheekbones with your thumbs.Â
To the best of your ability, you answer the questions he has for youâheâd written a ton in his tiny notepad during class, his own concerns clear with each neatly-penned iteration of: How to see actions/dialogue for what they are and not what I want them to be? written in the margins and you try not to feel heartbroken for him.
Three hours have passed by when you walk him to the door, the two of you wrapped up in a bubble so secure youâre surprised to find Chaewon and Yunjin still sitting on the couch. They donât say anything about Sunghoon in his absence, or the fact heâd given you his sweater when he noticed you were cold. Youâre not sure why their silence disappoints you.
Instead, Yunjin asks you about trivial things like dinner while Chaewon sits in silence.Â
âWhat flavour for ice cream?â Yunjin asks, rolling her eyes when you tug on the blanket but not complaining. âAnd donât say something ridiculous like mint chocolate, YN.âÂ
âThat happened once! And it was three years ago.. How was I supposed to know you hate fun?âÂ
Chaewon leans into you, letting you curl your limbs around her from behind as you rest your chin on her shoulder, liking the way her clean scent tickles your nose.Â
âMint-cho isnât that bad,â she starts. âItâs a little jarring, sure, but itâs kind of sweet. Like watching people come to terms with their feelings for each other.âÂ
You nod your head, humming in understanding and furrowing your brows when Yunjin scoffs, staring straight at you. Her tone is equal parts cutting and loving, so you know sheâs not trying to insult you, but donât know what she means when she says, âIt must be so nice to be as oblivious as you.âÂ
Yunjin never elaborates, and you never ask, actually feeling the statementâs journey in through one of your ears and out the other when dinner arrives. The three of you share pizza, ice cream, and secrets â the three pillars of 20-something-teenage-girlhood â at the kitchen table, with Chaewon sitting in your lap and picking pepperoni from your slices.Â
Itâs only hours after Yunijnâs gone home, that her words circle back to you, the statement and all of its weight perching on your chest with all the debilitation and persistence of a sleep paralysis demon.
âI think Iâm getting sick,â you say as soon as she opens her door. âItâs been coming on for a while now, at least a week, maybe more.âÂ
Unimpressed and exhausted, Yunjin looks down at you through half-closed eyes. âDo you..â She pinches the bridge of her nose, sighing. âDo you have any idea what time it is right now?âÂ
âYes. Itâs three a.m.âÂ
âExactly. See a doctor if youâre sick, Iâm going back to sleep.â
âThis is an emergenââ Yunjin cuts you off by pinching your lips together. âItâs three in the morning,â she reminds you. âYou canât yell like that in my hallway, come in.âÂ
You nod, crossing the threshold and taking off your shoes next to hers. âSorry,â you whisper when the door is closed.Â
Using her hand, Yunjin lifts your chin, squinting as her eyes adjust to the light when she flips the switch to inspect your face. âYou donât look or sound sick,â she mutters, flicking the light back off and going to her room. âWhat are your symptoms? And why did you come here?âÂ
You donât have an answer for her last question so you ignore it, following her and tripping over a pair of her shoes in the process. âMy cheeks start burning like crazy and my heart races, sometimes it gets hard to breathe.â
âYou seem fine to me.âÂ
A shoulder-slumping sigh slips from your lips. âThatâs the thing. Iâll be fine and then Sunghoon shows up with his pretty smile and perfect hair and I feel like Iâve run a marathon.â You know how it sounds, choosing your wording meticulously to let Yunjin be the one to say the words out loud instead of youâitâll be easier to confront that way.Â
From the doorway, you watch as she arches a brow, her interest piqued. âOh?âÂ
âI know.â You nod, head bobbing rapidly in furious agreement. âItâs only a matter of time before I cough up a lung and die in his bedroom.â
At your words, Yunjin doesn't reply, only lifting her duvet and getting cosy underneath. You feel like youâre glued to the spot, waiting for her to say something, anything, but nothing comes. All she does is pat the empty spot in her bed.Â
âWhat are you smirking for?â you ask, entering the room properly and closing the door.Â
Her response only comes after youâve taken your jacket and hoodie off, sitting next to her under the covers. âItâs nothing,â she says, laughing.Â
âTell me.âÂ
Yunjin sighs, resting a hand gently on your shoulder. You think itâs meant to be comforting but itâs the opposite. âYouâll be fine, I promise. Lovesickness isnât deadly.âÂ
Feeling the weight of her reassurance, you settle down properly and sigh when your head hits the pillow. Lovesickness. Hmm.Â
Closing your eyes, you try to sleep but canât help tossing and turning as Yunjin snores behind you. You pat blindly around the end table for your phone, grabbing it and wincing at the brightness of your screen. Chewing on your lip, you open Google, looking up âlovesicknessâ and frowning immediately at the results. Endless negativity fills the screen, terrifying words like âunrequited loveâ forming a pit in your stomach. Thereâs nothing negative about what you feel for Sunghoon, nothing unrequitedâyou think.Â
It was obvious during the trip, painfully so. In the way heâd tuck your hair behind your ear when his parents werenât there to see, or how he slipped up and called you âbabyâ in the bathroom, blushing when you said it back. You canât fake something like that.. Can you?
Yeonjun did.
Shaking your head, you open Instagram to distract yourself. Jakeâs story comes up first; heâs at a party where Jay is losing a game of beer pong, and at the other end of the table is Sunghoon grinning with a bright red lipstick kiss on his cheek. You lock your phone, using your hands to press on your belly to stop the stirring.Â
Oh, you think. Lovesickness.Â
When you wake up, the first thing you do is check Jakeâs story again. The video is still there and that terrible stir in your stomach churns on, burrowing deeply into a pit of canyon-like proportionâso vast thereâs a safety railing lining its edges.Â
You eat breakfast in silence with Yunjin, zoning out mid-chew to figure out the origin of these feelings and how to handle them. Suddenly, the moment hits you clear as day, vivid like youâre watching it on a screenâit was your third night at his parentsâ house, after your walk.Â
You felt bad about how you acted, and what you said, so went straight up to your room. With nothing but the bedside lamp turned on, it was dimly lit, shadows cast on the walls as you sulked, replaying everything in your head. Guilt wrapped its long arms around your body, making you feel sick as you thought about it all. About the hurt etched over his face with every word you said, and the frown that stuck around for the rest of the walk as his hand clung limply to yours.Â
There was a knock at the door, so gentle you almost missed it, and Sunghoon was standing there when you pulled it open, chewing on his lip with a mug in his hand. Steam skated over the opening, a rich chocolatey smell hitting your nose but the real kicker was the mug itself. In its place on Jake and Sunghoonâs mug tree, it was unassuming, a regular white mug, but upon meeting hot water, the face of young Sunghoon appeared, grinning with his tiny glasses on. It was a gift from one of his old coaches and though he never used it, it was your absolute favourite cup in the world.Â
You felt soft around the edges when you looked up at him, his eyes wide and unsure as you met his gazeâhe brought that mug three hours across the country so you could use it again. The thought shifted your heart into a comfortable position, settling in your chest with overwhelming warmth and an increased rate.Â
âHi,â you said, clearing your throat.Â
âHi,â he repeated, holding the mug out for you to take. âItâs still hot so be careful.âÂ
Nodding, you covered your hands with your sleeves, taking the cup from him and asking if he wanted to come in. Sunghoon nodded, shutting the door behind him and standing by the bed, watching you set the hot chocolate on the bedside table as you sat down. The two of you stayed like that for a while, with him only moving when you patted the spot next to you on the duvet. Your train of thought escaped you as soon as he sat down, the warmth of his familiar fresh, citrusy scent taking over and becoming the only thing you could register. The smell of summers with him, long days at the beach and short nights spent on the couch at random parties, cuddled into his side with his arm over your shoulders. The smell youâd come to associate with comfort and homeâwith Sunghoon.Â
âItâs not fair for me to treat you like shit just because Iâm annoyed, I shouldnât have spoken to you like that earlier. Iâm sorry.âÂ
A crease ran over Sunghoonâs thick brows as they tugged together, he shook his head. âYou donât have to apologise. I roped you into this whole thing and didnât even try to think about how you would feel. Iâm sorry.â His eyes carried a mix of regret and sincerity, mirroring the weight of his words.
âAnyway, I only came to bring you that,â he said, pointing at the cup. âAnd to check up on you, Iâll get out of your hair for tonight.â Sunghoon wiped his palms on his pants before standing up, reaching behind him to pick up the cloth he brought. For a moment, he stood there, staring down at it in his hand while you thought about telling him to stay, telling him that you wanted him in your hairâwhatever that meant. But he spoke before you had the chance. âYou left this, at mine, after.. well, you know. Iâm sure you left it intentionally, I mean it was folded up perfectly on the end of my bed, so I know you did, but it didnât feel right keeping it, you always wore it more than me.âÂ
Sunghoon extended his hand, holding it out to you and you knew exactly what it was as soon as the fabric touched your skin after so long. It was the shirt Jay bought him for Christmas in first yearâthey were roommates still trying to get a feel for each other. For a few weeks, Sunghoon had been pestering you about what he should get for Jay, saying it didnât feel right not to get him anything, and you suggested a targeted t-shirt, one youâd been laughing at all day after seeing an ad for it on your timeline. Sunghoon was sceptical, but bought the red shirt anyway, hoping Jay would find BEING DAD IS AN HONOUR, BEING PAPA IS PRICELESS funny. He did. And Jay bought Sunghoon a targeted shirt too, your favourite. It was black and two sizes too big, with I NEVER DREAMED IâD BE A SEXY FIGURE SKATER BUT HERE I AM KILLING IT written over the chest.Â
âGoodnight, YN,â Sunghoon said, crossing the room to leave but hesitating before closing the door. He poked his head through the opening and sighed. âI really am sorry.â
That night, you fell asleep in the shirt, the thinning, yet cosy, fabric wrapped around you like a hug as your heart started to beat a new rhythm, one that eerily echoed the five-foot-eleven figure skater who you let break it.Â
This morning, Yunjin claps her hands in your face, seeming irritated when you look over at her. âYou have class in an hour, what are you doing?â Before you have the chance to speak, realisation covers her face. âOh, the feelings.âÂ
You nod solemnly, too caught up in the butterflies raiding your stomach to come up with something to say.Â
At lightspeed, you scarf down the rest of your food, apologising for showing up so late as you head out the door. When you get home, you take the fastest shower of your life and feel grateful Chaewon isnât around to tease you about the smile you canât wipe from your face thinking about Sunghoonâyouâll text her later.
You run to campus, feeling the brisk autumn wind beating against your face while the rest of your body overheats under your jacket, hoodie and long sleeve. Despite the discomfort and ache in your lungs, you donât stop until you reach the door of your lecture hall, huffing and puffing into the faces of classmates who donât take any notice. Of course, in a stroke of pure luck, your lecturer is late, and you realise bitterly, that all of your huffing and puffing was in vainâyou would have gotten to class with time to spare even if you walked.
Itâs not a total waste though; you use the time to update Chaewon.Â
you: i have news wonie.. i like sunghoon
wonie: âŠâŠâŠâŠâŠ.. fork in the kitchen yn whatâs the news?Â
wonie: OHHHH news to YOU.. can i call?Â
She calls you immediately. You answer without thinking because your lecturer still hasnât arrived, and thereâs no one sitting close enough to hear or notice you taking a call.Â
âAre you going to tell him?!â Chaewonâs voice is so loud you wince, pulling the phone away from your ear.Â
âI donât know.â You shrug even though she canât see you, still holding the device at a distance just in case. âI donât have any confirmation that he still.. likes me. Itâs been a while, and I was pretty mean that day.Â
Chaewon groans and you can picture her throwing herself onto her bed, exasperated. The rustling that comes through the receiver only frames the image, hanging it up. âDid you have to tell him to get a grip?âÂ
âYou know..â You trail off, chewing on your bottom lip. âIn hindsight, probably not.âÂ
A beat passes, sheâs thinking. âDonât worry,â she says. âIâll help you.âÂ
âI.. have never been so worried in my life.â You sigh, picking at your freshly painted nails. âBut I know youâll do something no matter what I say, so do what you want, Wonie, but please be subtle about it.âÂ
Chaewon squeals down the phone. âI love youuuuu!â And itâs the last thing she says before kissing the mic a few times and hanging up.Â
Slumping in your seat, you donât have any time to stress about Chaewonâs plans because your lecturer walks in, with a travel cup in her hand and a paperback tucked under her arm.Â
She apologises for being late, running a hand through her hair as she announces that youâll be watching a film, an adaptation of a book you read at the start of termâIan McEwanâs Atonement. You spend the first hour of the movie falling in and out of sleep until a text comes through from Sunghoon, and sheer excitement keeps you up.
hoonie: Wanna study together after class?Â
you: of course!!!!!!Â
hoonie: đ€
The rest of the movie goes by in a drag, and you come away from it with a mild irritation towards Saoirse Ronan.
you: class just finished, heading to lib rnÂ
hoonie: Shit, still in the locker room, sorry !!! Omw, can you get a table?Â
you: iâll try..
It takes a while but you find an empty booth on the second floor, and set your bag on the plush green seat to take pictures of your surroundings to send to Sunghoon. You sit on the side facing the stairs so he can see you when he arrives. The thought of seeing him makes your heart race and you try out a few natural-seeming poses for when heâs here, cycling between resting your palm under your chin and sitting with your arms crossed a few times until the top of his head comes into view.Â
Seeing him knocks the wind out of you as he approaches the staircase, taking them two at a time with his damp hair clinging to his forehead and neck. It doesnât help that heâs wearing a tight black vest, and his sweats are hanging low on his hips. A breath you didnât realise you were holding slips out when he lifts his head, spotting you immediately as a grin spreads over his lips and he raises his arm to wave, the veins in his forearm peeking out to say hi too. You canât tell if itâs his lack of winter wardrobe or your newfound appreciation for him thatâs making his biceps look so huge but itâs hard to look away, even when he reaches the table.Â
âAre you hot?â you blurt out.Â
Sunghoon laughs, raising a brow and something about the way heâs looking down at you makes your cheeks burn. âDepends whoâs asking.â He takes his backpack off, leaving it on the table as he sits down, dumping his jacket and hoodie in a pile beside him.
âIâm asking,â you mumble.Â
âThen, yeah, Iâd hope so.âÂ
Is he flirting? It sounds like heâs flirting. Flirt back! âNice arms.âÂ
He looks down at his biceps for a beat before looking at you warily. âAre you flirting with me?â He canât fight the smile twitching at the corners of his lips but he tries his best, pressing them into a straight line.
âA little. They are nice though,â you admit.
Sunghoon grins. âThanks, Iâve had them for a while now.â
You canât come up with anything to say, too distracted by the way his smile reaches his eyes, lighting up his whole face and forcing a flustered heat to spread over your cheeks and neck. Itâs only when you look away from him that you remember what youâre here for. Itâs a study date, not a study dateâthereâs a difference.Â
You hand Sunghoon the material youâd printed for him over the weekend, excerpts from texts youâd studied in class, so he can practise close reading and proper citation. As he makes his way through them, you canât help stealing glances, smiling at the way his tongue sticks out a little while he focuses, or how he twirls his pen in his fingers while heâs thinking. You arenât making the best use of your time together, copying out the slides from class yesterday, but you canât help noticing the way he watches you when he thinks you canât see. The small smile on his face while he does so only flusters you, an odd weakness settling in your knees as your cheeks heat up.Â
After a while, Sunghoon sighs, running a hand through his hair. âCould you stop watching me?â
âIf you noticed me watching, that means youâre watching me.âÂ
He shrugs, chewing on his lip. âWell, yeah. Iâm always watching you,â he says like itâs a given. âBut you donât normally watch back, itâs distracting.âÂ
âYouâre distracting.â
A playful smile curves his lips as he arches a brow, smugness painting his face. âAm I?âÂ
Too scared to verbalise your response, you nod slowly, hoping you donât look as wound up as you feel.Â
Sunghoonâs eyes flick over your face, flashing with something you donât recognise. At least not from him. He sits back in his seat, assessing you and eventually shaking his head.Â
âYou know,â he says, eyes glowing with something you do recognise: cockiness. âIf my sexy arms are getting to you that much, I can always put my hoodie back on. Wouldnât want my little tutor getting distracted, would I?âÂ
Oh.Â
Your stomach turns with want, mind reeling from his tone and the way his gaze lands on your lips. Sighing, you roll your eyes and try to seem unaffected. âSunghoon, I never said your arms were sexy.âÂ
His phone starts to go off, buzzing against the table and he turns it over immediately, screen down on the surface as he shifts his focus back to his work. He chews on his lip while he does, eyes flicking back and forth between his phone and the words on the page. Curious, you lean over the table, elbows propped up as you rest your chin in your hands. He doesnât spare you or his phone, which vibrates another four times, a glance.
âAre you going to get that?âÂ
Sunghoon shakes his head. âItâs nothing.âÂ
You hum, letting just enough curiosity seep into the sound that heâll elaborate without being asked to. It doesnât take long for him to deliver.
âItâs just Chaewon,â he says, running his hand through his hair and lifting his head. Sunghoon smiles. âWeâve been texting a lot these days.âÂ
âCool.â You nod a few times, aiming for nonchalance but hitting bobblehead as you wait for him to continue. He doesnât, only humming in response, nodding too.Â
After a beat, he picks up his phone, angling it just high enough that you canât see the screen. He reads the messages, an exhaled laugh coming from his nose as the tips of his ears reddenâFuck. This is worse than you thought.Â
Chaewonâs commitment to girl code runs deepâsheâs been rebuffing Jake since first year when she overheard a girl sheâd never seen before telling her friends she thought he was cute. So you know without having to read the texts that nothing sheâs saying is even remotely flirty, you can smell the auto-caps and use of the word âbuddyâ from across the table.Â
What you hadnât counted on, however, was the potential for Sunghoonâs feelings to shift. If they really have been texting more, can you rule out the possibility that he might like.. her? Chaewon is a catch, beyond a catch, and youâd already turned Sunghoon down. Brutally. Of course, heâd move on, he has moved on.Â
The rest of the study session is spent manifesting, writing Park Sunghoon over and over in the back of your notebook. You fill three pages while brainstorming ways to snatch a lock of his hair until he suggests that the two of you call it a day. He walks you home, telling you about how Jakeâs been bribing him with food to get a ride to the LEGO store across town for the new Marvel set.Â
âWith or without the meals, I wouldâve taken him, but his ramen is my favourite, so..â Sunghoon says, climbing the last step of your building and holding the door open for you. âHe even brought a slice of tiramisu to the rink for me after practice.âÂ
âYouâre terrible,â you say, frowning up at him as you search for your keys. âDo you want to come in?âÂ
Sunghoon chuckles, shaking his head. âI have a meeting with one of my lecturers soon, Iâd have to leave inââ He pauses, rolling up the sleeve of his jacket to check the time. ââeight minutes.âÂ
âIâm cool with that if you are,â you mumble, suddenly shy.Â
A bright smile spreads over his lips and he nods, following you in.Â
Chilled by the harsh wind, the only thing on your mind is a hot drink as you lead Sunghoon to the kitchen. He shakes his head when you offer him one, sitting on the countertop and exhaling into his palms before rubbing them together. You canât help but frown at the sight, feeling guilty that you canât change the weather to suit him. At your thought process, your brows raise. Wow, you think. Is this who you are?Â
You busy yourself with the selection of hot drinks you and Chaewon have accumulated, eyeing each container from top to bottom. A purple tub of Cadburyâs hot chocolate that youâre sure is on the brink of expiration, coffeeâsachets of the instant stuff youâve grown to like since leaving home, Earl grey from one of many brands, or the fancy silk tea bags Chaewonâs mum brought home from a tripârooibos or plum-apple-cinnamon.Â
Craving something sweet, you settle for hot chocolate, pulling the heavy container from the cupboard next to Sunghoonâs head and setting it beside your cup. Heâs on his phone, scrolling too fast to take in anything heâs seeing and he shakes his head when you ask if he wants something to drink.Â
On the dish rack, Chaewonâs mug catches your eye, so you pick it up to dry it off and put it down next to yours. âIâm going to check if Wonie wants any,â you say, wiping imaginary crumbs from the counter onto the floor.Â
Sunghoon only clears his throat, shaking his head. âSheâs not home, one of her acrylics popped off so sheâs at the shop waiting for a cancellation.âÂ
The information itself isnât jarring but hearing it from Sunghoon is. You put on what you hope is a neutral smile and nod, taking milk from the fridge and assembling your drink on autopilot while thinking of ways to redirect the conversation.Â
âIf you knew youâd have to go back to campus so soon, whyâd you walk me home?â you ask, watching your cup spin in the microwave. âI couldâve walked on my own.âÂ
Sunghoon is already looking at you when you turn your head, his cheeks puffed out with air as he blinks slowly. Because I love you, is what you hope heâll say. You think you need him to say it.Â
âBecause you donât have to do anything on your own when you have me,â he says instead, and itâs infinitely better.Â
The words seep through your every fibre, his intonation and lucid affection making a home for themselves in your heart, spreading warmth from head to toe. Your smile becomes a radiant grin, only brightening when he shakes his head, smiling down at his feet.Â
Sunghoon hugs you in the kitchen when itâs time for him to leave, his arms holding you tight to his chest as he rocks you back and forth. You inhale his scent, all warm citrus under freshly washed cotton and something exclusive to him.
Wiping the smile from your face feels impossible. You donât let go when he does, and a sweet laugh â a giggle, you think â tumbles out of him as he mumbles that he really has to go. Still, you cling onto him, taking clumsy steps backwards, with your arms locked around his waist, to your front door, smiling as you watch him put his shoes on.Â
âYou donât have to walk me downstairs, honestly,â he says, looking down at you in the doorway.
âI want to.âÂ
His lips quirk up at the corners, a full smile breaking through and causing your stomach to flutter with so much force youâre sure itâs visible through your shirt. His eyes fall to your lips, lingering, before he clears his throat, looking away.Â
âIâll text you when I get to the door, promise.âÂ
You lock your pinky with his. âSend a selfie, just so I know itâs you and not someone else using your phone.âÂ
Sunghoonâs head falls back in a laugh. âShould I just call you? That way you can make sure I get back to uni in one piece.âÂ
You nod.
âThat wasnât anything with Chaewon earlier, I just needed advice on some girl stuff..â He trails off, searching your eyes. Itâs obvious that heâs telling the truth, that he wants you to believe him. You do. âI wasnât sure if that was something I could talk about with you.âÂ
Girl stuff. Hmm. You try not to read too much into it and look at the bigger picture insteadâyour best friend is going through something and doesnât feel like he can come to you about it.. You squeeze his pinky reassuringly, a flutter in your stomach when he smiles.Â
âYou can talk to me about anything,â you say, meaning it.Â
Sunghoon presses his lips together, humming and unlinking your fingers. âNext time,â he says after a beat, waving at you.Â
You shut the door, locking it while watching through the peephole, he leaves as soon as the lock clicks shut. In the kitchen, your hot chocolate is cooling down, and your phone rings in your back pocket. Sunghoonâs calling.Â
Hanging out with Sunghoon. Making sure he sticks to the time-blocked schedule you made for him. Quizzing him on biology terms until he gets restless. If the last two weeks were an episode of Family Feud, those would be the top three answers to the question: Name something YN is doing right now.
Thankfully tonight, itâs the first one.Â
Youâve been sitting on the couch for so long, Jake has both left for football practice and arrived from football practice. Conversation ebbs and flowsâan hour or so of nonstop talking, followed by another hour or so of comfortable near silence.Â
Itâs during a quiet hour that Sunghoon sits up straight, clearing his throat before saying, âLet me ask you something. He retreats to the other side of the couch, turning to face you with his whole body. âI donât want things to be weird after I ask, so no matter what your answer is, I wonât bring it up or ask again.â
Arching a curious brow, you nod. âYou can ask me anything,â you say, meaning it.
Sunghoonâs face is impressively blankâminus the motion of sharp teeth worrying plush lip, thereâs absolutely nothing behind his eyes that seem to stare right through you.Â
Eventually, he asks, âCan I kiss you?â He says more. Big, scary words like for closure and moving on, but they donât register. They donât matter.Â
Your heart pounds at the base of your throat as you find interest in your hands that sit in your lap. Even without looking at him, you canât get over the slight crease he had in his brow and the slight tremor in his hands.Â
âFor closure,â you repeat, though your voice doesnât sound like itâs coming from you, muffled under the thump of your heart.Â
Sunghoon nods. âFor closure.âÂ
A humourless laugh sneaks past your throat as you look at him. You shouldnât have. In the lamplight, Sunghoon is golden and glorious. Warm light casts one side of his face, diffusing gently over the steep slope of his nose, highlighting his moles and the look in his eyes, gentle and curious all at once. Unwillingly, your gaze falls to his lips, parted, tempting.Â
One firm nod of your head brings Sunghoonâs hand to your face, his palm cupping your cheek with soft skin as his thumb traces your cheekbone. You grow anxious under his stare, under the drag of his eyes over your features, taking them one at a time like heâs committing them to memory.
Leaning in, your eyes flutter shut as your lips meet his and he freezes, mouth completely still on yours. Delicately, your tongue traces the seam of his lips, soft and plump, until they part for you, moving with yours. Sunghoonâs kiss is unpolished when it reaches you. Itâs hesitant but tender, clumsy but sweet, heâs trying and heâs perfect; your favourite.Â
The kiss is.. itâs everything. Itâs the racing of your heart, the thudding, the vibrant buzz you can hear, feel humming against your ears. Itâs a rush of blood to the head, a lightness all over that pulls you out of your body. Itâs Sunghoonâs soft lips curving into a smile against yours, his gentle hold on your face never letting up as he holds you as close as he can manage, and itâs every bit as lovely as the rest of him.
Palpable is the heartbeat of your friendship, beating to a lull under the surface of the kiss, fizzling out into nothing, a steady silence, flatlining to give way to something more, something bigger.Â
Every brush of your lips against his is a revelation, a confession. Youâre all Iâve ever wanted, you tell him with your kiss. Youâre everything I need. His free hand finds yours, locking your fingers and squeezing, the action timed well enough to make you think he hears you, to make you think heâs saying, weâll be okay, I still love you.Â
With that, he pulls away, a delicate tension piercing the air. Blown eyes and laboured breathingâheâs beautiful, fuzzy around the edges with warm orange and all of the love in your heart. Breathless, you chew on your lip, cognisant of Sunghoonâs hand in yours and the sparkle in his eyes as he looks at you.Â
Belatedly, you squeeze his hand back, smiling. âWas it everything you ever dreamed of?â you whisper, part teasing, all curious.
Abruptly, Sunghoon stands up, letting go of you in the process. âI have to go.âÂ
You want to stop him, you think youâre supposed to. To grab him by the arm and kiss him again, to yell in his face that you love him until he understands. But you donât. Instead, you stay seated, staring at Sunghoonâs back and following him with your eyes out of the room and down the hall until heâs out of sight.Â
Itâs your first time being so upset after a kiss, and you canât tell if itâs his leaving or the mention of him moving on thatâs tripping you up so much. Thatâs causing melancholy to crawl from the shadows, sinking its jagged nails into your skin to pull you under.Â
You love him. Heâs gone.Â
Eyes stuck on the doorway, time stretches over the room around you, thick and malleable, wet and cloyingâclay stuck under your nails for days as the fire in the kiln rages on.Â
Sighing, you get up and wait at his door. You ball your hand into a limp fist, knocking weakly. Sunghoon doesnât reply. You try again, harder. Still nothing.Â
Barging into the room, you find him sitting on the end of his bed with his face in his hands.Â
âDonât move on.â The words come out before you realise and Sunghoon lifts his head, squinting at you.Â
âHuh?â He tilts his head, watching closely as you approach him, tipping it back enough to meet your eyes when you stand over him.Â
You take a breath, holding it until your head starts to spin. âI donât want you to love someone else, Sunghoon. Please donât move on.âÂ
The stillness that follows is disconcerting, a long quiet you can feel on your skin, amplifying the blank stare on his face as he looks up at you. His eyes flash, a spark of hope behind them so bright it stings to look at.
âDo you..â He trails off, his lips moving to form the next word though stopping short.
âI do,â you whisper, nodding. âIâm sorry for taking so long.â
An exhaled laugh comes from his nose as he grins, shaking his head. âYou like me?â he asks, excitement and disbelief fighting for authority over his voice, his hands holding your waist and pulling you down into his lap.
âI love you,â you admit, settling on his thighs.Â
âYou do?â His eyes are wide and gleaming, searching every feature on your face before settling on your own.
You nod. âSo much.âÂ
Sunghoonâs chin tips up, his lips pressing against yours, excited pecks that canât turn into much more for the smiles on your faces. You rest your arms on his shoulders, hands clasping behind his head, nervous fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.Â
âSo.. will you be my boyfriend? For real?âÂ
Tilting his head, he tries and fails to fight a smile. âI will. Iâm a little bummed though.âÂ
âWhy?â You raise a brow, and the word tips up at the end with it.Â
âI wanted to be the one to ask you.â Sunghoonâs honesty warms the room, endearing you completely.Â
You grin, loving the heat spreading over your cheeks. âAsk me anyway.âÂ
âPlease can I be your boyfriend?âÂ
In the weeks that followed, it became immediately clear that boyfriend Sunghoon operated on a pendulum swinging between sexual ferality and terror. Heâd get distracted during study sessions at home, finding more interest in biting at your neck than stream-of-consciousness prose, but closed his eyes if a sex scene came on TV. Heâd buck his hips against yours while making out but flinch at the sight of condoms in the store.
He wasnât ready to have sex and didnât know how to tell you, so you took matters into your own hands, asking if you could wait until after his results for resubmission came in, saying you didnât want the distraction for either of you. Sunghoon agreed, pecking your cheek and holding you tight to his chest.Â
The only thing was that your lecturer hadnât given him an exact date, so every morning, you held your phone in a vice grip waiting for Sunghoon to update you, and every morning, you got the same text: Nothing today, baby âčïžÂ
This morning, youâre brushing your teeth when he texts you, in all caps: NO FUCKING WAY I GOT A 98 !!! LOOK !!!
When the picture comes through, itâs of him in the mirror and you choke on mouthwash at the sight. Heâs smiling, bright and beautiful, in a black vest that heâs holding up a little to show his stomach, though his palm is in the way of his toned abs, and it cuts off right at the top of his grey sweatpants.Â
Your mouth goes dry as you click on it, fixating on every little detail you can find: the thickness of his fingers against his phone, the dip in his collarbones, the breadth of his shoulders and the cinch of his waist. In a fit of desperation, you try swiping at the bottom of your screen, willing the picture to magically extend. It doesnât.Â
hoonie: Finger slipped.. You like?
you: mm..Â
you: 98??? HOLY SHIT, LOOK AT YOU!!!
hoonie: All you.. do you like the picture?
you: i love itâŠâŠâŠâŠ.
hoonie: My girl đ€
Another picture comes in, and sure enough, through the glare of his laptop screen, you see: Course name: The Modernist Movement: Joyce, Woolf, and Hemingway. Marks Awarded: 98.0.
you: well done baby !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hoonie: Thx đ
hoonie: Can I have my prize now ha ha .. haha đ
you: just for that emoji, no you absolutely cannot.
Your resolve isnât strong enough when it comes to Sunghoon, because purple devil emoji and all, you show up at his door with condoms in your bag and a bouquet of lilies behind your back.Â
The door creaks open and Sunghoon greets you with a grin. âHey, gorgeous. You proud of me?âÂ
You beam at him, holding out the flowers. âIâm very proud, Hoon, well done.âÂ
âI donât want to ruin the moment,â he starts, taking the bouquet from your hands and sniffing the flowers with an approving smile. âBut hearing you say youâre proud of me is awakening something I didnât know existed.â
âA good something?âÂ
âMm,â he hums, arms finding your waist before he pecks your lips. âA very good something.âÂ
Sunghoonâs words hit your lips and your core, a desperate heat flooding your stomach as he kisses you deeply, his body pressed tightly against yours while he pulls you into his apartment. He kicks the door shut with his foot, slipping his hand under your jacket to settle in your back pocket, not quite squeezing but holding your ass as gently as he can manage.Â
He breaks away from you, love in his eyes as he stares down into yours, catching his breath. âI donât think we own a vase.âÂ
In his kitchen, you rifle through cupboards to find something to hold the flowers, eventually finding a whiskey decanter in the cupboard under the sink, and holding it up for Sunghoon to see.
âOh, yeah,â he says. âItâs Jayâs. Itâll work right?âÂ
You nod, taking it to the sink to rinse it. Sunghoon wraps his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder watching you fill the decanter with water and flower food before grabbing the bouquet. He presses open-mouthed kisses to your neck and you struggle to stay focused as you cut down the stems on the flowers, arranging them neatly.Â
âCan I take a photo?â he asks when youâre done.Â
Heâs smiling when you turn around to look at him, a soft curve of his lips that makes your heart race, a deep tenderness in his eyes when you meet them. You smile too.Â
âTheyâre yours, baby, do whatever you want.âÂ
âA photo of you with the flowers,â he clarifies.Â
Warmth settles in your chest, a grin spreading over your lips from ear to ear. You nod, taking the decanter in your hands when he lets go of you, holding the flowers up beside your face and smiling for his camera. As his phone shutter clicks away, you steal glances at his face behind it. Heâs watching the screen with a smile, telling you how beautiful you are.
âI want pictures of you too,â you say, handing the flowers over.Â
âIâm yours, baby, do whatever you want.âÂ
Sunghoon poses for your photos, smiling sweetly in some and sniffing the bouquet appreciatively with closed eyes for others. Heâs glowing and heâs beautiful and your heart triples in size while taking picture after picture until your phone tells you it has ten percent.Â
âThank you, YN,â he says. âIâve never gotten flowers before, I love them.â His arms settle around your waist, lips pressing against yours before you have the chance to respond.Â
You try anyway, mumbling against his lips that you love him. In response, Sunghoon grins, but the feeling of his cock growing hard against you is distracting, a lust-coated thorn in the side of the butterflies fluttering in your stomach. With locked lips and uncertain steps, the two of you bump into corners and trip over your own feet, stumbling to his room and parting only to tear his hoodie over his head.
Breathless, you pull away, eyes trailing over him and picking up on everything, from the tremble in his hands to the lust-addled worry in his eyes. Heâs nervous, you thinkâthough it escapes you, the last word coming out like a question.
Sunghoon scoffs, his hands resting on your waist under your shirt, skin clammy against yours. âOf course, Iâm nervous.âÂ
âYou donât have to be.â
âI just want to be good for you.âÂ
âDonât worry about that, let me take care of you, Hoon.â Your palms drag up his torso â firm abs through soft cotton, defined chest over racing heart â to rest on his shoulders. âSit,â you say when he nods.Â
He gulps, taking a seat on the end of his bed under your gentle push, eyes widening when you sink to your knees between his legs and reach for his drawstring, pulling the ends to untie the knot.Â
âWait,â Sunghoon says, breathless, scrunching up his face and dropping his head. âLet me calm down, baby. At this rate, Iâll come just seeing your hand on it.âÂ
You giggle, resting your head on his thigh and wrapping the drawstring around your finger.
âIâm serious, YN,â he mumbles, laughing as he takes his vest off. âI need a minute.âÂ
Sunghoonâs eyes are pressed shut as he tries to collect himself, lips pouty and kiss-bitten, slightly parted with ragged breaths slipping out. You wait patiently for him. Heâs so pretty like this, with the crease in his brow and the pretty pink flush dusting his cheeks as his chest rises and falls. You canât help but smile, leaning into his touch when his hand rests on top of your head, his blunt nails grazing your scalp. After a while, he seems more at ease, his eyes finding yours and he smiles shyly, telling you heâs ready now and lifting his hips from the bed to let you pull his sweats and underwear down.Â
Free from the constraints of fabric, his cock slaps his stomach with a wet sound as the tip meets his skin, leaving a pearlescent streak over his abs. The sight makes your mouth water and you canât look away. âPretty,â you whisper.
Wrapping a hand under his tip, you swipe it with your thumb, taking time to memorise the flutter of his eyelids, the bobbing of his Adamâs apple, and the soft sigh he lets out. You stroke him slowly, liking the way his breath picks up as his brows knit together before you take him in your mouth. Itâs a tight fit but you do your best, spurred on by the way he tugs at your hair and stutters through a holy fuck as you take as much of him as you can.Â
Sunghoon goes silent, only squirming when you use your hand to stroke him near his base. Self-conscious about his lack of vocal affirmation, you look up at him through your lashes, and the pure bliss on his face is unbearably attractive. His eyes are rolled back under furrowed brows, his mouth hanging open as he throws his head back.
âAm I doing okay?â you ask, using the moment to catch your breath.
He nods, inhaling shakily and screwing his eyes shut while his hips buck up into your fist. âIâm.. Youâre doing such a good job, baby, so good.â
Satisfaction courses through you from the praise, a high that dulls the ache in your jaw. Still watching him, you massage his balls in your palm, pressing open-mouthed kisses to his tip when he whines. You tongue at his slit until he thrusts back into your mouth, tip hitting your throat, and he gasps when you gag, his arm coming up to cover his eyes. A belated apology slips from his lips, mumbled as he strokes your hair with a shaking hand and goes quiet again. When you speed up, his breath stutters, the muscles in his thighs contracting around your head as you suck and lick and drool on his cock.Â
A moan of your name, and his hand holding your hand down, are the only warnings you get before Sunghoon comes, spilling his load right down your throat. Whining, his hips buck up against your face, pushing further and further until he falls back onto the mattress.
Your throat is hoarse and aches while you use the back of your hand to wipe at your lips, enjoying whatâs left of his taste on your tongue. Deep red tints his neck and chest, a pretty flush gleaming under the sheen of sweat on his skin. Heâs mesmerising, as he tries for air through swollen lips and looks up at you through squinted eyes. He reaches for you, cute grabby hands tugging your shirt and pulling you down so youâre lying next to him with your head on his chest.Â
âYouâre amazing, baby, so good for me,â Sunghoon whispers, eyes fluttering shut as you drag your nails over his torso, feeling the subtle heave of the slick, sculpted muscle over his stomach and chest.Â
Pride heats your chest, satisfaction rolling over you like a wave. âReally?â
He hums in affirmation, nodding his head.Â
âYou were so quiet, I couldnât really tell,â you add, hungry for more praise.Â
âThe walls are so thin in here, I just got used to being quiet,â Sunghoon says, frowning. Hand meeting your chin, he tips your head up towards him, pressing a soft kiss to your lips and mumbling, âIâm sorry. You were perfect, I swear.âÂ
Itâs a sweet kiss. Until lips move harder and hands get lower, desperate as he thumbs the top of your leggings, palm unmoving but a dangerous heat blooms in your stomach anyway.
âCan I..â Sunghoon pinches you softly through the material, unsure eyes boring deep into yours.Â
You nod. âYou can.âÂ
Slipping under your waistband, his fingers skate across your skin dipping between your thighs. He grazes your slit, satisfaction clear in the groan he lets out as he feels the wetness there, pulling it over the length of your slit to cover your clit. Your breath hitches, a strangled gasp, pleasure and surprise meeting in your throat under the pressure of his thumb on your clit, the gentle sting of his finger pushing into you.Â
What Sunghoon lacks in experience, he makes up for with the sheer length and thickness of his fingers. Itâs almost jarring, itâs enough to force your eyes closed and bring a sigh rumbling out of you, ache and relief settling between your legs, where he curls a finger against your walls and drags slow circles over your clit.Â
âCan you take these off, baby?â he asks, hand away to touch your leggings.Â
You donât waste a second, sitting up to pull them off, throwing them and your underwear across the room. Sunghoon licks his lips, tugging at the hem of your shirt.Â
âAnd this? If you want..âÂ
You nod, pulling it off immediately to let it join the rest of your clothes in a heap on the floor. The way he gulps is a confidence boost, his dilated pupils taking in every inch of your body, though his gaze always pulls back to your braâwhite and lacy, thin enough for your nipples to push through the fabric and Sunghoon canât seem to get enough, though he waits until youâre lying down again to touch you.Â
Sunghoon props himself up on his elbow, leaning over you. âYouâre beautiful,â he whispers, dragging a finger over the lace at the top of your bra, toying with the material and the little bow sitting between your breasts. His eyes flick up to meet yours. âSo beautiful,â he repeats.Â
Hiding your face in his chest, you mumble, âThank you,â into his skin while trying to ignore the heat spreading over your body wherever he touches you. His hand trails from your arm to your waist, resting on your hips to slip over your ass for a beat, where he grabs and squeezes the flesh there before coming back around to slot between your legsâyou lift one of them, resting it over his body, and heâs smiling sweetly when you look up at him.
Sunghoonâs movements are unchanging, though the sensation is heightened by the unbridled desire in his lidded eyes that urges white heat to lick over every inch of your skinâthis time he pushes two fingers into you.
It doesnât get better than this, you think. But it does, quickly.Â
Leaning over you, his eyes flick across your face, one feature at a time as he chews on his lip. Reaching up, you push some of his hair from his face, holding it back and saying, âRelax, baby.âÂ
âDonât want to hurt you.â
Moving your hand, you blink when his hair flops back over his forehead, tickling your eyelashes. His eyes are focused now, staring straight down into yours, want and worry flashing behind them.Â
âYou wonât, I promise,â you say, locking your pinky with his, feeling relieved when he smiles.
Sunghoon pushes in slowly, his name slipping from your lips when he exhales shakily, head falling forward. The sting, the pleasure, make it hard to breathe, molten desire taking hold of your lungs as he carves out a place for himself as far as youâll take him, all the way to the hilt as slow as he can manage.Â
A moan tears out of him, lewd and whiny as his hair tickles your collarbone, head falling into the crook of your neck. His skin is hot and damp against yours, his breath burning your shoulder as he tries to calm down. Itâs difficult to register much else, tethered only by the sound of his voice when he asks, âAm I hurting you?âÂ
âHoon,â you whisper.Â
âCan you look at me, baby?â He lifts his head, resting a hand on your cheek. You blink your eyes open, gaze locking with his, where concern pushes through his desire. âAm I hurting you?â he asks again. âAre you okay?âÂ
You nod. âIâm okay, just..â You sigh. âFull. Need a minute.âÂ
Sunghoon kisses you, lips moving gently with yours, passing breathy whines between your mouths until you feel yourself relaxing. Pulling his plush bottom lip between yours, you suck on it, nodding. âWant you to move, baby,â you mumble.Â
He scans your face, eyes meeting yours as he pulls his hips back. Heâs slow, so slow with his thrusts that your belly turns with want, your fingernails sink into the taut skin of his back, and jagged sobs fall out of you with each drag of his cock along your walls.Â
Everywhere his skin touches yours is set ablaze with scorching heat, goosebumps pushing past the surface as his breath fans your neck and his sharp teeth graze your skin. He bites hard enough to sting, and you wince as his tongue flicks over your bitten flesh to soothe you.
You were so worked up earlier, writhing against the sheets and coming undone in his palm, so bliss quickly pushes through the ache between your legs. âGood, Hoon, feels so good,â you manage, struggling to convey how perfect it is.
âJust want to make you feel good.â His words melt into each other, vowels soft and elongated as they curl around each other. Heâs working up a steady rhythm, his tip consistently nudging you where you need itâthe spot that makes the room blur around you. âThatâs all I want.âÂ
Before long, the knot in your stomach pulls you up from the mattress, arching your back towards the ceiling. Mouth to mouth, chest to chestâitâs the closest youâve ever felt to someone else, the closest youâve ever been. The thought alone knocks the wind out of you, and his persistent whining does nothing to help.
Your want and adoration for Sunghoon run bone-deep, inching up your spine and creeping over your shoulders, intertwined with an all-consuming pleasure that turns the heat in your stomach molten as a shudder zips through you. Even though you canât find the words to let him know, he lifts your hips from the bed to fuck you deeper, harder, into the mattress until shaky orgasms pull both of you under.Â
You let him fall into you, fingers curling around his hair, whispering I love you into the skin of his neck as he comes, most of his weight on top of you while you catch your breath, relishing in the fullness you feel as the last waves of your high pull back. You stay like this for as long as he needs, his head coming up from the crook of your neck to smile at you before pressing his lips to yours. A sleepy haze fills the room around you, tongue swiping tongue as you giggle happily into his mouth.Â
After a while, he gets up, tying the condom to throw it away and comes back with his shirt. He uses it to clean upâgentle between your legs, pressing kisses to your calves while he does. Sunghoonâs tenderness wraps around your heart, and love clouds your vision, forming a blurry trail that follows all of his movements, glowing like something from a dream, ethereal, an apparition.Â
The bed dips beside you, his arms around you, pulling you in so his chin rests on your head. You push your cheek into his chest, hoping the two of you will meld into oneâthe thought makes you warm all over, a fuzziness that reaches every part of your body while he presses kisses into your hair, rubbing your back.Â
âI love you,â he says, voice as soft as the rest of him. âIâm glad I exist.â
mama park: Hi lovely đ missing you lots, wondering when youâll be home for XmasâŠâŠâŠ..love ma
Sunghoon stirs, nose scrunching as he snores softly into the quiet of a winter morning. His chest rises and falls steadily under your head and he doesnât move when you sit up. The lamp on his desk is still on â neither of you could be bothered getting up to turn it off last night â and under its dim glow, you admire him. Perfect lips gently curvedâlong lashes kissing the skin under his eyes.Â
Love hits you from all angles, warmth all over from head to toe despite the chill in Sunghoonâs room. You canât help but grin, leaning up to nose along the underside of his chin, his natural scent so soft yet dizzying as you nuzzle into him. He stirs again, turning his head this way and that before resting, you feel a bit bad, deciding to leave him be and text his mum back.Â
you: hi mum !!! missing you sooooooo much :((( will be home asap
mama park: BTW Sunghoon told me everything. I raised such good actors LOL make sure he looks after you and keeps you happy!
you: iâm so sorry we lied to you..
you: but iâm really happy with him and he loves me a lot
you: i love him so much .. never been so sure of anyone in my life
© zreamy (2023), all rights reserved. do not repost, translate, or plagiarise my work. do let my know your thoughts !
permanent taglist: @asahicore
#sunghoon smut#enhypen smut#enha smut#enhypen scenarios#sunghoon scenarios#sunghoon x reader#park sunghoon smut#park sunghoon x reader#enhypen imagines#enhypen oneshots#sunghoon oneshots#sunghoon imagines#enhypen hard hours#fic.sunghoon
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if its ok can i request a overblot boys and ruggie and kamil with a reader that just forgets to eat? like they can go the whole day without eating then suddenly they just get dizzy cause they haven't eaten and when they get asked why they passed out/not ate they're like "lol yeah i forgot to eat my bad gangđ§đ»" they're just so nonchalant and act like its whateverđits ok if not if this makes you uncomfortable!! Love your blog pookie and make sure YOU eat properlyđ„đ„
ahh... just like me fr. this ask actually reminded me to eat, thank you!
summary: reader who forgets to eat type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, ruggie, azul, jamil, kalim, vil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, mentions of food and not eating!
*à©â©â§âË
Riddle is also guilty of this
it's not that he's neglectful, it's just that...
...well... he's a little neglectful
it's usually Trey who has to remind him to take breaks from studying
none of that will stop him from scolding you, though
"What were you thinking, going a whole day without a meal? It's no wonder you're always so tired!"
expect lots of snacks from him after he's done berating you
he sends someone every day to make sure you've had something
(both a blessing and a curse)
you'll be in your room then suddenly Che'nya is there asking if you had lunch yet
and if not, you'll be recieving an invitation to Heartslabyul for tea
*à©â©â§âË
Leona can't be bothered to ask why you're always so... out of it
he just assumes that's your personality
he even teases you for it, once or twice
then Jack offhandedly mentions that you rarely eat until dinner, and he gets all... worried
Ugh
suddenly, his room is always stocked with your favorite snacks from Sam's
what? no, they're not for you. he's just taken a liking to 'em. but you're welcome to have some if you'd like
his act is unconvincing
"What? Stop looking at me like that. I'm not some sap. I'm just making sure you don't go passing out on me,"
*à©â©â§âË
Ruggie is worried that Crowley's cut your food rations
he'd been mooching off of you for a few months now, after all
plus, he knows what it's like to go hungry
of course, he doesn't outright ask. he doesn't want to embarrass you or anything
he just... casually offers to split meals and comes over once a week with half of his forage greens
"What, this? Nah, I just had extra. What, you're complaining about free food? Shishishi,"
you repay the gesture by making him a few meals, and it becomes a little tradition between the two of you
*à©â©â§âË
why, oh why, does Azul have to care about you so much?
he's become familiar that exact look on your face; distant, dizzy, disoriented...
and he's caught himself mid-scold far too many times
"Have you no sense of self-preservation? You can't keep relying on others to care for you; you'll only be taken advantage of,"
...and, of course, he's the poor soul who cares for you
he convinces himself that verbal reminders cost nothing
then he starts sending the tweels to make sure you've eaten
and then he insists you drop by the Mostro Lounge at least once a day
it's not that he's giving you his time and energy for free
he's just making an investment in you!
that's it. NOTHING ELSE! (<- lies)
(cue tweels giggling in the background)
*à©â©â§âË
poor Jamil
first Kalim, and now he has you to worry about, too?
of course; he has no obligation to help. that's what he tells himself
nothing will happen if he just ignores you
...except that sinking feeling in his stomach
Sevens, help him...
he starts letting you help around the kitchen
just... tidying up, doing the dishes, etc
and if you happen to want a bite of what he's cooking? ohoho, who is he to deny you the chance to test for poison?
(feigns to mention that these dishes have already been tasted)
"Good? Why, I'm flattered. You're welcome to help any time- how about tomorrow?"
*à©â©â§âË
Kalim will never pass a chance to host
you offhandedly mention that you forget to eat sometimes? just come over for breakfast!
and lunch
and dinner!
and you'll stay for dessert, too, won't you?
he's nothing if not gracious, and he has a penchant for taking care of others
he likes feeling useful, after all
just be ready to give him your full thoughts and feelings on every dish; he's already making a mental list of your favorites to serve every time you come over
"Hungry? No problem! We have all your faves waiting for you. What music do you want to listen to while we eat?"
*à©â©â§âË
you know that Vil loves you, right?
so, so much?
good. because that love makes him want to shake you
of all the stupid things...
it's no use trying to hide it from him; you could look and act completely normal and he'd still see right through you
he can just tell
he has to restrain himself from threatening Crowley into letting you stay at Pomefiore so he can care for you
Vil believes you're capable, after all. you just need a little push
"I've set a daily reminder and stocked your kitchen. Remember that some food is better than none. If you need me for anything, I'll see to it as soon as possible,"
you can expect Epel and Rook to ask if you've eaten, on his behalf, every time you run into each other
*à©â©â§âË
Idia sets like, 30 reminders in your phone
he knows as well as you do that three measly alarms won't be enough
...he, too, is guilty of forgetting to eat
he probably makes you a custom alarm sound and everything
a little pavlovian conditioning never hurt anyone, right? it's basically no different than training an AI
...or something like that
will send Ortho over to check your vitals every once in a while
"it's NBD. can't have u losing all your lives on me. who would tolerate me then?"
*à©â©â§âË
thank your lucky stars it's Malleus who notices your drowsiness first and not Lilia
Malleus, at least, will find you something edible to eat
he's trying to keep you alive, after all
he's very sweet and gentle about it
soft little reminders, nudges to keep you awake... he will up and leave a dorm meeting if he realizes he doesn't know if you'd had anything yet today
Malleus is very conscious about human mortality, and is very... delicate about it
he's just a little overprotective, that's all
it mostly comes to sharing little treats together every now and then. it feels less awkward when you're together, after all
"There is no need to thank me. I'm simply happy to spend my time with you,"
#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#riddle rosehearts x reader#leona kingscholar#ruggie bucchi x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#jamil viper x reader#kalim al asim x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia x reader#queued
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chicken shop date | cl16 smau
pairing: charles leclerc x fem youtuber!reader
summary: y/n hosts a popular youtube channel where she invites various celebrities to have a 'chicken shop date'. in this upcoming episode, she welcomes famous formula 1 driver, charles leclerc.
a/n: all my love to amelia, i love her vidsđ«¶đ«¶ also, pls lmk what u think :)
creds to @classiclitfreak for proofreading! thank uu!! :)
ᎠáŽÊáŽáŽáŽ : âźâŻâŻâŻâŻâŻâŻâŻâŻ
ᎠáŽÊáŽáŽáŽ : âźâźâźâźâźâźâźâźâŻ
21st of March, 2024
yourusername posted to her story!
[ caption: red 4 đïžđïžđïž ]
[ caption: chicken shop date out on saturday!!! xx ]
[ tagged: charles_leclerc ]
yourusername posted to her story!
[ caption: aussie aussie aussie đŠ ]
yourusername
liked by charles_leclerc, yourbfusername, landonorris and 137,923 others
yourusername i love you australia xx
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yourbfusername third pic đđ
yourusername đ€« username that's suspicious...
username ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE????
username flying across the globe for a chicken shop date??? oh this is serious guys
username nah she's just rich lol username i'll be sad if they're just playing in our faces
username y/n becoming a ferrari girl was NOT on my bingo cardsđ
charles_leclerc â€ïž
yourusername đ„°đ„° username so the plot thickens username love u charlieđ«¶đ«¶
username y/n don't play with me rn. are you dating charles or nah
(liked by author)
username girl it's been 84 years we are tired of the gamesđ username 'liked by author' WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
landonorris here for mclaren i'm hoping
yourusername i- sure! username oooh it's the lying for me miss
22nd of March, 2024
f1gossipofficial
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f1gossipofficial After arriving in Australia last night and posting a picture hugging who fans believe to be Charles Leclerc, Y/N L/N made her F1 debut this morning during the practice sessions.
She and Charles appeared to be very close, only further fuelling the dating rumours that have been circulating the internet for the past month. As of yet, however, neither of the pair has confirmed nor denied the ongoing rumours.
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username bruh how hard is a "we're dating/we're not dating."đ
username lmao are you ok?? they don't owe us anything
username Y/N as an f1 wag???? OH HOW I USED TO PRAY FOR THESE TIMES
username aw she's so pretty
username a chicken shop date episode with charles is dropping tmrw so i think it's all pretend
username oh yeahhhh I almost forgot username but travelling all across the world for that seems a little excessive? she's literally already super successful ygm username pretending for over 4 weeks is nasty workđ«
username did anyone see the way he looks at her though????đ
username RIGHT?? THEYRE SO CUTE OMGđ
23rd of March, 2024
yourusername posted to her story!
[ caption: this is more like it đ ]
[ tagged: charles_leclerc ]
charles_leclerc posted to his story!
[ caption: Lucky charm secured â€ïž ]
yourusername
liked by charles_leclerc, yourbfusername, landonorris and 277,004 others
yourusername chicken shop date with @charles_leclerc OUT NOW!! hope it's an uncomfortable watch xx
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username 10/10 awkwardness, I had to pause multiple times. truly hated it, keep posting more!
yourusername thank u thank u. will dođ«Ą username loool Y/N ilysm
username Y/N ARE YALL DATING OR NAH??? IM SO CONFUSED
username u and me bothđđ username idc if it's delusional i'm just gonna pretend they aređ„°đ„° username ignorance is bliss babeâšđ
yourbfusername wait you guys are lowkey cuteđ§
yourusername *highkey username OMG IS THIS A CONFIRMATION??? WE WONNNN username just fell to my knees in tesco pls don't be joking Y/Nđ
charles_leclerc Avez-vous déjà pratiqué votre français ? (have you even been practising your french?)
yourusername oui oui đ username she's actually got it lmaoo who would've thoughtđ
username LMAO Y/N not "what are we?" why are you like thisđđ
username that's so real of her tbh
2:35 âââă
âââââââââ 7:55
The YouTube video begins with a series of clips showing Y/N and Charles laughing, with intermittent shots of Y/N looking directly at the screen. The familiar tune of Y/N's 'chicken shop date' videos begins as stop-motion hearts flutter across the screen, transitioning smoothly to a scene featuring two dolls seated in a miniature chicken shop date setting, seamlessly leading into the main content of the video.
"Charles Leclerc," Y/N warmly greets, resting her elbows on the table. "Welcome to our date."
Charles responds with a smile, settling back in his seat and gesturing around. "Y/N Y/LN, thank you. I'm very happy to be on our first date... here... with all these cameras," he remarks jokingly.
Y/N narrows her eyes slightly, briefly glancing around before refocusing on Charles with a hum. "I'm not sure what you're implying. This location is a solid 10 out of 10," she says, gesturing to their surroundings. "Besides, do you see the chicken?" she adds, plucking a single fry from her meal box and waving it in the air, awaiting his response.
"You mean the fry?" Charles chuckles, pointing. "That's not chicken."
Y/N takes a bite of the fry, pausing to swallow before clearing her throat. "I'm aware," she says with a dramatic tilt of her head and a tight-lipped smile. "I just grabbed it because I fancied a fry."Â
"But anyway," she continues, circling back to the initial question, "do... you... see... the... chicken?" Sensing his hesitation, she places her hands firmly on the table. "Look at me. It's a simple yes or no, Charles."
"Well, actually, it's yes or yes," she corrects herself with two affirmative nods, before redirecting her attention back to him.
Charles responds with a smile, though his expression betrays his confusion, evident in the different angles of his raised eyebrows. "Yes, I see it, Y/N."
"And do you taste it?" Y/N asks slowly.
"I haven't yet..."
"So, what are you waiting for?" she claps her hands together, motioning towards the untouched box of food in front of him. "Don't be shy now."
Charles chuckles as he sits up in his chair and leans forward, rummaging through the food before pulling out a chicken nugget. As he dips the piece in some ketchup, his eyes meet Y/N's once more, her wide-eyed nod urging him on.
"Go on."
"Okay, okay," he says, taking a bite. "Mmm," he nods, almost as if someone were holding a gun to his head, compelling him to do so.
"Oh," Y/N purses her lips and shakes her head, "I don't like it when people make noises while eating."
"Uh," Charles swallows and chuckles, "sorry?"
Y/N shrugs. "It's okay, I forgive you."
"Anyway," she inhales deeply, "what do you think? That's some good chicken, right?"
"Yeah, actually, it is really good," Charles nods as he speaks.
Suddenly, the video cuts to a staff member in chicken shop attire standing behind the counter, wearing a smile while staring at the camera, unmoving.
Then, the video returns to Charles and Y/N.
As Charles takes another bite of his chicken nugget, Y/N casually asks, "Do you think our children will like chicken?"
Coughing sounds interrupt as Charles drops his chicken into the box, knocking his fist against his chest until the sound clears. His voice croaks as he speaks, his brows furrowing, "Our children? We're talking about children already?"
Y/N's composure cracks slightly as she chuckles, clearly amused by his reaction, and observes him reaching for a glass of water, taking large gulps. However, she quickly regains control, shrugging nonchalantly before continuing, "Well, yeah. I don't know about you, but I date for marriageâI want a little family of my own someday. Don't you?"
Charles rubs his eyebrows and places the glass back on the table. "Yes, I do want to have a family one day. But this feels like it's moving very fast, don't you think?"
Y/N shakes her head. "Not at all. To be honest, I want one boy and one girl. What about you?"
At Y/N's continued forwardness, Charles releases a laugh, visibly bewildered, before scratching at his beard in deep thought. Propping up his elbows on the table, he finally responds, "I think I want a boy."
"âAnd a girl," Y/N interjects, smiling expectantly.
Charles blurts out a laugh, clearly taken aback, before nodding. "Yeah, a girl too. I don't really mind."
"Great, so we're on the same page then."
The video cuts off again, this time to the entrance of the chicken shop, slowly panning into the empty and bright interior with multiple tables and chairs. The camera stops on the large menu, featuring pictures of chicken and fries, lingering for a few moments before cutting back to Charles and Y/N.Â
However, this time Y/N is holding a piece of paper in front of her.
"So, I hear you're French?" Y/N glances up at Charles, noticing the grimace on his face. Quickly realising her mistake, she corrects herself, "Oh, hold on, no wait, don't kill me please. You speak French, but you're from Monacoâyou don't claim France at all."
Charles laughs and nods in agreement. "Correct. I am Monegasque. Those are separate countries, yes."
Y/N purses her lips, her eyes flickering from side to side. "I know, I literally just said that."Â Clicking her tongue, she exhales a long breath and continues, "Anyway, what a coincidence. I'm actually trying to learn French."
Something flashes in Charles' eyes as he suddenly leans forward in his chair, his expression filled with keen interest. "Oh wow, tu l'es ? Comment vas-tu ?" (translation: "Oh wow, you are? How are you?")
Y/N freezes, her mouth parted slightly in a half-smile. For a moment, she just stares, clearly startled, before scratching the back of her neck and humming deep in thought. "Oh, okay, straight into the deep end, huh?" she chuckles and then blurts out, "Oui, oui?"
Charles tosses his head back, laughing, while Y/N folds her hands together, waiting expressionless for his laughter to subside. When he finally regains his composure, his eyes back on Y/N, she says, "Great, thanks."
"I'm sorry," Charles waves his hand in the air, "I just thought you'd know the basics already. My mistake."
Y/N narrows her gaze at him for a few moments before taking a deep breath. "Well, that's what I've got you here for." Clearing her throat, she tilts her gaze down at the paper and asks, "Let's start easy, shall we? I'm going to give you a few sentences in French, and you translate them back to me in English."
Charles furrows his brows. "Wouldn't it make more sense the other way around?"
"What can I say, I'm special," she shrugs, "I actually learn better this way."
"Ah, of course you are."
"Alright. Je t'aime."
"I love you," says Charles.
Y/N places her hand across her chest. "Aw, Charles. Dropping the L-bomb already, are we?"
Charles drags his teeth across his lower lip while shaking his head. "Next one, please."
âVeux-tu m'Ă©pouser?"Â (translation: "Will you marry me?")
Charles tilts his head sideways, an amused expression spreading across his face. âSeriously?â
Y/N clicks her tongue and shakes her head. âNo, that doesnât quite sound right. I think you might need to brush up on your French, Charles, because Iâm pretty sure âVeux-tu m'Ă©pouserâ does not mean âseriously.ââ
Exhaling a long breath, she rotates in her seat and straightens up. âDonât worry though, Iâll give you another chance.â
Charles rolls his eyes playfully before releasing a whistle. Rubbing his hands together, he begins, âWill you marry me. Thatâs what it meaââ
âCharles!â Y/N's jaw drops as she interrupts him. âWell, Iâm a hot commodity, you know? But I want to know, how would our marriage work? I mean, how long are you planning on racing, anyway?â
Charles smiles, slumping into his seat as he reaches for a fry and tosses it into his mouth. âIâm not sure, to be honest. I love racing and I want to be a world champion, so weâll just have to see how long that takes.â
âYou want to be a world champion, yet you extended your contract with Ferrari?â Y/N's brows furrow inquisitively. âThatâs an interesting choice.â
A couple of chuckles escape Charles as he runs his hand up and down his neck, his gaze fixed on the half-empty box of food before him. After a moment's pause, he replies with a casual shrug, âThey're like family to me. And honestly, when I see myself winning, itâs always with the Ferrari team by my side.â
âFair enough,â Y/N exhales, her eyes widening as she claps her hands together. âI suppose I'll have to stock up on red outfits.â
Noticing Charlesâ puzzled expression, Y/N theatrically rolls her eyes before explaining, âFor our next date, silly. Iâll be your lucky charm, and then you can finally start winning and have a real shot at the World Championship.â
âWow, how nice of you, Y/N,â Charles responds with a lazy smile. âMerci.â
âOooh,â Y/N points at him, nodding in satisfaction, âI know that one. Youâre welcomeâŠâ
ââŠBoyfriend?â she asks, narrowing her eyes at him. âWhatâwhat are we?â
He ponders for a moment, swaying slightly from side to side, then relents, âOkay, sure⊠girlfriend.â
The video cuts to the outro, displaying various polaroids of Y/N flashing by, accompanied by a text reading, âIf you enjoyed the video, please donât forget to like and subscribe for more! xxâ.
24th of March, 2024
yourusername posted to her story!
[ caption: early dayđŽđŽ ]
[ tagged: charles_leclerc ]
f1gossipofficial
liked by username, username, username and 4,723 others
f1gossipofficial Y/N L/N and Charles Leclerc have been spotted entering the Paddock together. Numerous sources have also confirmed seeing them exchange a few kisses.
As always, wishing the drivers all the best for today's race!
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username oh we're so on
username the world is healing
username who would've thought being awkward is how to pull charles leclercđ
username ig this means we all have a chance username lmaooo i need u to be so fr
username ugh I don't see the hype?? that video made me so uncomfortable, she's such a weirdo
username nobody cares bruh
username mhm iktrđ we love to see it
f1
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f1 Carlando back on the podium together! Congrats to Carlos Sainz, Lando Norris and Charles Leclerc on their wins! Huge accomplishments!
#F1 #Formula1 #AusGP
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username CARLANDO LETS GOOOOOO
username aw they all deserved it I'm so happy for themđđ«¶
username carlos the man that you areâ€ïž
yourusername đ„łđ
username seeing Y/N become an actual f1 girlđ€§ username please treat charles well for usđ„č
username lfg đȘ
yourusername
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tagged: charles_leclerc
yourusername as the french say 'soo la voo' or whatever xxx
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charles_leclerc close enoughđ€Ł
yourusername je t'aime â€ïž username OMGG??????? AHHH KICKING MY FEETđ„° username wow we've literally gone full circleđ€§ username he fell first she fell harder teaseđ„č
username NOOOO CHARLIE NOT HER :(
username girl shut up
yourbfusername lool cuties <33
yourusername bby đ«¶
username is- is this what it feels like to win?đâ€ïžâ€ïž
7:35 âââââââââââă
â 7:55
hope u enjoyed! thoughts are appreciated! <3
#f1 smau#f1 fanfic#f1#f1 x reader#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#cl16#cl16 x reader#cl16 imagine#f1 imagine#cl16 x you#charles leclerc smau#charles leclerc x female reader#charles x y/n#charles x you#charles leclerc fanfic#smau#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc imagine#f1 instagram au#fanfic#f1 fic#charles x reader#cl16 fic#f1 scenario#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1#charles leclerc one shot#formula 1 x you
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IN FAIR VERONA ââ CL16.
things are hard when you're the only female in a male-dominated space, and the newest driver for the newest team knows this best.
( charles leclerc x driver!schumacher!reader )
ââ part one.
INSTAGRAM.
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yourusername feeling blue?
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user i am gnawing at the bars of my enclosure right nowÂ
user MOTHER IS MOTHERING SO HARD RN đ©
user y/n schumacher never misses
âł user letâs be real here user the entire schumacher family never misses
âł user yâall have seen mickâs most recent post too right??
user she is so gorgeous i am ILL
user god really does have his favorites huh đđ
âł user this is undeniable proof
âł user people this beautiful donât actually exist i refuse to believe it
user every day i wake up and cry that i will never be as stunning and skilled as her
user formula 2 silly season has me losing my damn mind i swear đ« i might as well be wearing a tin foil hat with the number of theories iâm following and the consistent blue themed posts y/n keeps dropping are NOT HELPING
âł user not to add to your conspiracy madness, but itâs already confirmed that fred vesti is replacing jehan daruvala whoâs moving to mp motorsport, and there are rumors that oliver bearman is also getting a prema seat which could mean that y/n schumacher is going to another team as well or leaving f2 entirely
âł user a good chunk of the other teams have already revealed their driver lineup and none of them include schumacher, which doesnât leave a lot of options IF the rumours are true
âł user i canât see her just leaving motorsports entirely considering sheâs worked so hard to get where she is đ€ which calls into question whether sheâs moving to a different racing series
âł user i really canât see schumacher leaving tbh, especially since sheâs been in f2 since 2017 and has established herself as a prema legend basically
âł user the fact that she has been at prema for so long (and has gotten p2 in the f2 championship nearly every year since 2017) could also be proof that sheâs moving on to bigger and better things
âł user wait sheâs been there HOW LONG??? since 2017??? as in she drove with charles leclerc, her brother mick, AND oscar piastri??? đ€Żđ€Żđ€Ż
âł user sheâs had a very long and successful career there, but it wouldnât surprise me if she decided to retire from formula racing and move onto some other series thatâs more woman-friendly, all things considered đ€·ââïž. she has been runner-up every year that sheâs competed, proven that she has what it takes to make it in a higher level of formula racing, and yet not a single f1 team has even offered her the opportunity to be even a test or reserve driver? đ€š something isnât adding up and i donât want to say itâs because sheâs a girl in motorsports but itâs kind of hard to ignore the proof when itâs put right in front of you.
âł user guys the keyword is âifâ here, of course, bc as fun as it is to speculate it is all still speculation and we wonât know for certain until itâs revealed by official sources. silly season is called that for a reason, and for all we known y/n is drawing out the announcement of her continued partnership with prema to stir up interest. sheâs been in a very loyal and secure partnership with them for years now, a partnership that both she and prema seem very happy to keep considering just how long itâs lasted.
âł user f2 is another series that once you win the championship you are no longer allowed to compete in, so prema may have kept her around to help carry her male teammates into first place until females are more accepted in formula racing so that she could eventually move up to f1
âł user premaâs gonna announce her as their driver with vesti and you all are gonna look so fucking dumb for this đđ
user blue is HER color now đ
maseratimsg đ
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yourusername to the women of f1 that came before me, who paved the way, this is for you.
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maseratimsg When you race, they race with you đ.
âł yourusername đ«¶đ
user Y/N SCHUMACHER??? IN FORMULA ONE??? IN 2023???
user iâve been following her career for years now and this makes me so excited omg
âł user me too!! sheâll be the first female to drive in f1 in over 30 years đ€
user HARD LAUNCH BUT FOR THE 2023 GRID I GUESS
user when maserati announced theyâd be getting back into formula racing i had no idea that also meant formula one as well?? theyâve got drivers in the 22-23 formula e season right now but this is how i found out about y/n schumacher driving for the 23 formula 1 season? i think i am going into shock
user 2023 might actually be a good year if this is how weâre gonna be going into it
user WOMEN IN MOTORSPORTS
user milf = man i love females-in-fast-cars
user been watching f1 since i was a kid, always wondered why there were no girls out there driving. this year iâll get to turn on that tv and finally see someone who looks like me
âł user itâs so fitting that maseratiâs original f1 team also had the first woman f1 driver, and now theyâll be breaking barriers again by having another woman f1 driver in their first season back
âł user iâm hoping theyâve got a good car ready cuz i wanna see y/n schumacher up on that podium telling everyone who didnât believe she could do it just cuz she was a girl to eat shit and die đ€đ€đ€
user thereâs a reason there arenât any female drivers in f1. sheâs doomed to fail just like all the others smh đ
âł user the biggest reason is sexism, and y/n has consistently proved throughout her career that she is just as skilled if not more than her male counterparts. she works harder to make up for the physical disadvantages she has as a woman, and she still wipes the floor with the other drivers. sheâs not âdoomed to failâ sheâs practically destined to succeed.
âł user y/n has trained her ass off to be the best, and sheâll prove it when she gets out on the tarmac in bahrain, just you wait đ„±
âł user sheâs literally a 6-time f2 runner up??? sure, she didnât win, but that doesnât mean it isnât still incredibly fucking impressive that sheâs managed to get p2 against her male counterparts 6 YEARS IN A ROW đđ her brother got p12 his first season and you know what she got? p2. sheâs already raced with the likes of charles leclerc, zhou guanyu, yuki tsunoda, alex albon, george russell, lando norris, and a number of other very prominent formula racing names, and she held her own against them all incredibly well. she gave her own brother a real run for his money when they were teammates in 2019 and 2020, and in 2021 she was only a 9 point difference away from oscar piastri, whereas the p3 finalist was nearly a full 60 points below both of them. get out of here with that âthereâs a reason there arenât any female drivers in f1â bullshit, because the reason is misogyny đđ
user not to be that person but like??? who else is lowkey excited for potential driver x driver romance?? đ«Ł
âł user nah cuz i didnât wanna make this about that but iâm actually totally ready to see who she has the best chemistry with on the grid đ«ą first hope is charles leclerc cuz theyâd be a power couple hands down but also mayhaps max verstappen?? maybe??
âł user totally agree babes a ferrari and maserati romeo and juliet love story would destroy me đ©
âł user the parallels are already paralleling
âł user to add to the parallels, her and charles were teammates at prema in 2017
âł user OMG RIVALS TO STAR CROSSED LOVERS??? đđ
âł user schumacher and leclerc are about to live out THE fanfic dream i can see it now
user canât wait to see her mop the floor with these boys next year
user 2023 IS GONNA BE CRAZY đđ
user if i see any of those lads talk down about her or dismiss her just because sheâs a woman, itâs on fucking sight đ
âł user they did that campaign in 2021 about equality in racing and i am BEGGING that it wasnât just a media ploy and that they actually believe what they said about men AND women being able to drive
user this is about to be the best f1 season in history folks
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maseratimsg Prepare for trouble, and make it double âïžđ.
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user SCHUMACHER TWINS TEAMMATES AGAIN???
user someone pinch me i think iâm in a dream đł
âł user i pinched myself and this is in fact very real
user we knew y/n would be driving for maserati but to also have MICK? maserati picked not one but TWO legacy drivers they have an agenda to push and they are certainly pushing it
âł user yeah, an agenda to win đ
âł user genuinely just imagine how much natural talent and skill will be in that garage come the start of the season with michael schumacherâs twinsâŠ
âł user back in 2020 when they raced together at prema, i saw someone joke that they were made into twins because no singular human being would be able to handle having that much racing prowess, so they were split up. but idk how much of it was actually a joke because they were scarily good as teammates? y/n has always finished no more than 10 points behind p1, and mick is a very powerful driver in his own right. putting them together and letting them drive as allies again instead of rivals will be a sight thatâs for sure.
âł user imagine being nerfed at birth cuz fate knew youâd be too powerful otherwise đđđ
user blue is THEIR color apparently
user itâs the schumachersâ world and weâre just living in it
âł user schumachers vs the entire f1 grid sounds like an insane clickbait article but the fact that itâll be real in a few months is crazy
user everyoneâs talking about y/n and mick but iâm stuck on the fact that there will finally be 11 teams driving for f1 again
âł user maserati really said fuck the expectations
âł user maseratiâs gonna get a 1-2 with the schumachers in their first year back iâm calling it now đ€Șđ€Ș
âł user first female driver in f1 in 30 years and first 11th team to drive in f1 since 2016, and iâm betting itâll be first ever female driver to podium in f1 and first ever female driver to win in f1 too because iâve seen y/n schumacherâs skill and i guarantee that if sheâs actually given the ability to go all out then sheâs gonna be a force to be reckoned with
user hope theyâve got a good car planned cuz i wanna see these two put up a good fight
user verstappen better watch his back đ
user Y/N SCHUMACHER WDC 2023
user at least mick got to drive with seb still on the grid, but iâm actually heartbroken that y/n wonât be able to đ
âł user and kimi too
âł user i think the only drivers left are hamilton and alonso no? from before their dad retired i mean
âł user perez, hulkenberg, and ricciardo too, but they only drove on the same grid as michael schumacher for a couple years
âł user i imagine it would suck to lose but i personally would be very proud to see my old friendâs kids standing on a podium above me or beside me đ„č
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mickschumacher from beating you into this world, to beating you in karting (both professionally and casually), i'm so proud to have the chance to beat you in formula 1 too
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yourusername those are fighting words micky đ€š
âł mickschumacher not sure what you mean đ
âł yourusername itâs on sight đ
user GUYSSS JUST THINK ABOUT THE PADDOCK INTERACTIONS BETWEEN THESE TWO
âł user the media days boutta be crazyyyy
âł user iâm imagining the chaos of not just having siblings on the grid together, but twins specifically, and iâm already getting a migraine on behalf of whoever their pr officers are đ
đ
âł user 2023 is the year they make a geneva convention for the grid prank wars and itâs gonna be the because of the schumachers
user baby photos oh i am unwell đ
âł user iâve caught a nasty case of baby fever i fear
âł user theyâre both menaces as adults, i wonder how bad they were as little kids
âł user baby fever cured methinks đ¶
user đđđ MICK P1 2023 đđđ
user mick being proud to race with his sister but also making it well known that he isnât gonna take it easy on her is the type of sibling rivalry content iâm looking forward to seeing this season
âł user i need all the drivers to have this same mentality bc i know mick is gonna recognize her as the threat that she is, but if any of those lads underestimate her just bc sheâs a girl, then their karma will come in the form of eating the dust of y/n schumacherâs car
âł user PREACH đđ
charlesleclerc cannot wait to have you both on track this year
ââ tags: @maih23 @urfavnoirette @casperlikej
ââ a/n: first and foremost, happy international women's day! i've had this sitting around for a little while now and decided that today would be the perfect day to finally share it, what with the themes of women empowerment and breaking the glass ceiling. my main priority will still be my lando series until i can get that finished, but updates for this might appear in between on occasion. i also wanna take a moment just to appreciate the sheer amount of research that went into this, finding a team that would reasonably work well as an 11th team for formula 1 was a bit difficult, but i'm not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth when maserati fits pretty perfectly. also, as a twin myself, i'm incapable of writing a sibling duo that aren't also twins, and i have zero shame about that. anyways, i'm very excited for this, and i hope everyone else is as well!
#formula 1#formula one#f1#formula 1 imagine#f1 imagine#formula one imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula one x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#social media au#smau#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc imagine#cl16#mick schumacher
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the enemy of my friend is my enemy, but he's also his own worst enemy? so he's my friend? (nr6) | pt1
pairing: nico rosberg x hamilton!reader [smau]
summary: in an attempt to plan a surprise birthday party for your brother's 39th birthday, you enlist the help of his ex-??? to get into his apartment
warnings: none (i think)
a/n: unfortunately, there are too many pics so pls await pt2 đ
[masterlist] [requests]
-> instagram
y/n.hamilton
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y/n.hamilton guess who's backkkkkk....IT'S BRITNEY B*TCH đâïž
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user1 omg omg omg omg GUYSSSSSS i have been waiting for this day the entire year... SHE'S FINALLY BACK IN MONACO!!!
user2 i'm also in monaco rn, istg the stars are alinging for me to meet her !!!! đ€© user 3 BRUHHHHH i wish that was me đđđ user4 i wonder why she's back though? user5 idk yk maybe to go see HER BROTHER WHO LIVES IN MONACO MAYBE???? đ
user6 i hope she hangs out with all the other drivers đ she wasn't at any of the gps this year
user7 i mean they're not really her friends, besides she was really busy this year user8 DID YOU JUST SAY THEY'RE NOT HER FRIENDS??? user7 i mean she's not the one driving in f1 is she đ user9 brother was not here for the grid x y/n shenanigans back in the 2010's user10 her and mark absolutely roasting the crap out of fernando and jenson for the grid penalty is still comedy gold user11 she basically adopted the entire grid after 2016, they're her babies đ€š LIKED by maxverstappen1
lewishamilton i was not made aware of this????
y/n.hamilton sorryyyyy late flight arrangements???? đ„șđđ lewishamilton ok but where are you staying. i'll cancel it, you can just stay in my apartment y/n.hamilton no it's ok, i'm already staying with a friend :D lewishamilton wait whO lewishamilton don't IGNORE ME I KNOW YOU'RE STILL ONLINE user12 y/nnnnn đđđ user13 your honour they're literally the cutest yet most sibling siblings ever like girlie pop đ„Č
user14 anyone else like see the nico rosberg like...or was that just me?
user15 ??? user14 ok maybe it was just me... lewishamilton what....? user16 bro's going detective mode now
friend1 Y/NNIEEEEE PLS GET ME SOME MORE CHOCOLATE FOR THE CAKE
y/n.hamilton shhhhhh you're ruining it already bro friend1 oopsie oh yeah, i forgot he actually follows you lmfao y/n.hamilton đ girlie plsssssss get some brain cells friend1 you stole all of mine :P user17 đ€šđ€š
-> instagram
y/n.hamilton
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y/n.hamilton roscoe with his favourite auntieeee â€ïž
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user18 GIRLIE AINT FOOLING ANYONE FOR A SECOND, WHO IS THAT MAN IN THE SECOND SLIDE
user19 wait what???? ur kidding, ur kidding - i am not seeing no man there? user20 roscoe's looking extra cute today âșïž user21 him in that last slide looking at y/n is devious side eye user22 @/user18 BROTHER I GOT U, THERE IS NO WAY THAT'S Y/N'S LEG user23 also y/n would not be caught dead wearing chinos in bed, it's def a man đ
user24 OK BUT THE REAL QUESTION IS WHO??? CAUSE LEWIS IS IN PARIS SO....
user25 nahhh it's for sure whoever y/n's seeing, no way would lewis let a random stranger near his child user26 i thought y/n's been single for a while??? she got a new boo? user27 idk maybe, i mean she's been pretty out of the spotlight this year, i wouldn't be surprised
user28 ARE WE JUST GOING TO IGNORE THE NICO ROSBERG LIKE???
user29 NO CAUSE LIKE HE ALSO LIKED HER LAST POST, ANDDDD THIS IS LIKE THE FIRST TIME POST-BROCEDES FALLOUT đš user30 guys i think lewis might just implode if he thinks that's nico rosberg sitting with roscoe user31 seeing by his silence, i think he already has...
maxverstappen1 can charles, lando i swing by after padel practice đ we wanna say hi
y/n.hamilton to me or the baby? đ maxverstappen1 im not abandoning my grid mum like this đ€š only lando would, considering he's ruining the wdc narrative arc right now user32 y/n and max in 2016 was peak, especially after spain đ AHHHHHHH I MISS HER AT THE PADDOCK SO MUCH landonorris you snooze you lose verstappen, but i would also never abandon y/n :( y/n.hamilton lando.... landonorris i let him have the padel point mother đ„Č
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@charlesgirl16 @tallrock35 @sweate-r-weathe-r @unlikelystay
© the-flanuer || do not copy, rewrite or translate any of my work on any platform.
#â : my work.á#the-flaneur#smau#x reader#f1#formula 1#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 fluff#f1 smau#nico rosberg fanfic#nico rosberg imagine#nico rosberg smau#nico rosberg fluff#nico rosberg x reader#nico rosberg x you
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no way you dropped the biggest river lore in the tags and moved on like it was nothing đ can i ask if this is still your intentions with him? bc it sounds like you changed your mind halfway đ€
im ngl though i really enjoy how ren and river are similar and different to each other, but does that mean river would hurt his angel but leave our friends alone the same way ren would never hurt his angel but would unalive all of our friends? since they're suppose to be each other opposites. i really hope this makes sense đŹ my final question is what is ren doing on thursday? i want to go on a cute pier date again đ©·đž
@secretkoa asked: and can i hear more about what unsent memory is suppose to be about or is that off limits? idk if i asked this in my previous question so ignore me if i did! thank yuo and remember to drink lots of water đžđ±
ââ„â For those who haven't seen the original post, I want to quickly clarify once more that while River was originally my OC, he's since been picked up and revamped by my friend Jesse/@unsentmemory!!
However, now that Jesse has stepped away from the yandere community, River's fate (and da fate of Unsent Memories) has kinda been put on the sidelines for the foreseeable future.
âŒïž Massive Unsent Memories and River spoilers under the cut âŒïž CW for: mentions of gore, torture, mutilation, self-harm, etc.
With all of that being said, yes, Jesse's original intention for River was for him to be your standard "serial killer-turned-yandere once he accidentally catches feelings for his latest victim (Bunny)". The only main difference is that I originally planned for River to be a generic murderer first, whereas Jesse had him become a yandere right off the bat.
You also asked to know more about Unsent Memories, and I think giving a general synopsis(?) would be fine?? ^^ But basically... After getting involved in a car accident, Bunny wakes up with amnesia and gets tricked into thinking that this random guy â whom they've never met before â is their loving, supportive boyfriend named River. In turn, he convinces Bunny that staying in their shared home would be more beneficial than staying in the hospital as it might rekindle some old memories, he'd be able to take care of them, and it would be easier for them to recover at their own pace. But surprise!! River is actually a frequent patron at the Murderer Motelâą and now has trapped Bunny in his Torture BasementÂź!!! <3 He also maaaay or may not've been the one who hit them with Ren's car as well... ^^ Oopsie daisy hehe
And yeah!! Similar to what you've said, River was also supposed to share (somewhat of) a narrative foil with Ren!! I personally wanted them both to have similar, complimenting vibes with each other â all while having completely different/separate motives and incentives when it comes to the object of their affection. I'm glad to see it was conveyed well enough; even after Jesse's additions to River's characterisation :3 I know I already shared some examples in the previous tags, but I can share a few more:
Where Ren puts Angel's feelings and opinions above his own, River purposefully ignores Bunny's and does everything for his own personal benefit. Essentially, "I'm doing this for you" vs "I'm doing this for me".
While Ren would never dream about harming Angel in any capacity, he's perfectly happy to kidnap, extort, torture, and kill everyone else... In contrast to River, who's accustomed to torturing and brutalising others for his own twisted enjoyment and sees it as a way to show his interest in Bunny.
Kinda silly how Ren claims to be a freelance programmer (but is actually a hacker) and how River claims to work at a music shop (it's a coverup for his second torture chamber lmaoooo).
[CW: implications of SH] Ren is willing to go as far as mentally and physically hurting himself if Angel asks him to, whereas River is willing to physically mutilate Bunny if it means keeping them by his side. [end CW]
With that being said, you can assume that Ren is easily swayed by Angel's words, opinions, and emotions, whereas River can easily sway and manipulate Bunny due to his own feelings and emotions.
This is something I've actually mentioned before, but Ren always prefers things to be tidy, so he often cleans himself up after disposing of his victims. Compared to River, who casually wears the bloodstains with pride and blames it on getting a bit rough with someone else during a boxing match.
It's no secret that Ren is willing to change every aspect of himself to earn Angel's love, and River is willing to change his serial killer ways to return Bunny's love. Da power of friendship and repressed childhood memories gksdgjh T_T /silly
Ren pretends to be a Normal Guy© with tons of empathy to spare, whereas River pretends to be a Regular Personâ with the heart of a himbo.
I could go on but you get da point lol
So, yeah!! This is essentially the vibes we had planned for River (and Unsent Memories) before Jesse stepped down /pos ^^ I feel like talking vaguely about UM is fine since River only has a small cameo in 14DWY â and I'm sure that if Jesse ever returns from war (/silly), they'll give River muuuuch more justice than I possibly can :3c
#Hopefully me yapping in this post will suffice for all the yammering I did in the other posts' tags lmaooooo#Ren: is that guy bothering you? I'll kill him >:(#River: someone is bothering you? more than me? what the fuck#Anyways!! Lords and gentlewomen..... I give you......#River ''you made me catch feelings as a child and I don't do feelings so I'm gonna hit you with a car'' Acosta đđđ /silly#There are direct parallels between 2017!Ren and River too if you squint#Also would this be 2024!River now?? Since UM is kinda homeless rn? /silly gshjgjs I just made myself sad T_T#Also; yeag... I agree that I could've worded my original tags better because it DOES seem like we changed our minds hjdgjsk#However my original intention [within da tags] was to talk about what River's characterisation would've been BEFORE Jesse stepped down#i.e. me yapping about what you could've expected from Unsent Memories since the game's fate is kinda.... ambiguous now ^^; /nm#But again; I don't want to force Jesse to come back to da yan community and write for a game they no longer have an interest in#It's not the end of the world if 14DWY doesn't get its sequel; and it's not like I'm going to stop working on its prequel either /gen#me: guys there's another yandere in 14DWY!!!#everyone else: omg it's Leon!!!#me: ......yeah... definitely... đŒ#.......I yearn to :evilhehe:#đ â answered.#đ â 14 days with queue.#đ â about ren.#đ â about river.#secretkoa#Very brief mentions of:#cw torture#cw self harm#cw gore
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aaaaaanyways. pride month at Camp Half Blood?
if you remember that one post from a while ago (general hcâs about chb), I did say I would do a fully pride post eventually
so without further ado, I present to all my lovely gay demigods:
PRIDE MONTH AT CHBđŁïžđŁïž
SO weâve already discussed the decorations of some of the cabins, like Percy putting rainbow hippocampi scales all over the walls, the Demeter and Persephone cabins growing colorful flowers all over their roofs, the Hecate cabin and its Sentient Gay Door
I like to think the Iris cabin is just fully blasting rainbows all the time it looks like a Minecraft beacon
they play capture the flag every June with a pride flag that has the CHB logo on it
limited edition CHB pride merchđ
Mr. D defending trans campers by driving bigots slightly insane long enough to slap themselves and then go back to normal
YâALL KNOW ABOUT THE PRONOUN CORRECTION AIR HORNS? THATâS THE ENTIRE APOLLO CABIN + LEO AND PERCY
Some ignorant prick about a transmasc camper: âOh yeah sheââ
Percy: *AIR HORN* âITâS HE, BITCHâ
Ignorant prick: âOkay Jesus Iâm sorryâ
A different ignorant prick: *makes some dumb joke about âalways being able to tellâ and receives at least seven different air horns from all the Apollo campers in the vicinity*
Leoâs been following this one really irritating chick around all day because she canât figure out one of his siblingâs genders and blasting her in the face every time she fucks up their pronounsđđđ
anyways yeah I like to imagine thereâs a demigod pride festival somewhere, maybe in New York
or no thereâs demigods everywhere I bet they have parade floats all the time in lots of cities and the Mist conceals the âfireworksâ which are actually just godly light shows
Apollo rocks up to camp in a rainbow crop top and a pink drink from Starbucks just to sing Born This Way in the middle of the day and then dip again
Aphrodite blessing random queer couples with finding perfect date setups âconvenientlyâ in their paths
all the gods physically restraining Hera when she tries to go fuck with Jason while heâs on a date w Leo
Percy and Annabeth in matching shirts that say âšBEST BIâš with the Best Buy price tag logo in the middle
Nico got glitterbombed on June 1st the second he stepped out of his cabin by the entire Apollo cabin (and Jason) and is still finding sparkles in his hair a week later
Aphrodite kids are walking dictionaries of all the rainbow terms, somehow, and they also all know which days in June are for which awareness or pride or whatever flag
campers who transitioned over the school year and coming back to camp a different gender and their godly parent re-claims them as their true self
Percy âI canât believe I used to think I was straightâ Jackson educating some of the younger campers on bisexuality and how, no, you donât always know right away
Annabeth âI had a crush on Thalia and Luke at the same time and it was horribleâ Chase always reassuring the nervous kids that thereâs nothing wrong with being queer (and that sheâll fight any homophobic family members they may have)
actually they kind of all do that
Some little kid: âWellâŠâŠ. I donât wanna tell my stepdad, he might kick me outâ
Percy, remembering that his dad kept Medusaâs head after it got sent to Olympus: âGive me your address, I have an ideaâ
Piper will verbally eviscerate anybody she catches being even remotely homophobic. I mean she will swipe phones out of her siblingsâ hands to tell off some ignorant grandmother
Jason does NOT get into physical altercations outside of sparring and literal war, but the closest he ever got was after hearing someone call Nico a slur (Percy and Leo had to physically drag him away from the other guy)
William Solace has white cowboy boots. I Will Start Sobbing On The Spot
Percy and Jason wore matching skirts for the pride festival and it was greatâ these 6-foot-plus brick shithouses of heroes who have single-handedly won wars aggressively waving tiny pride flags at each other and dancing to IT GIRL on the quad
Cecil and Lou Ellen made these magic rainbow smoke bombs, crawled up on the roof of the Hermes cabin, and slingshotted them into the masses Just Becauseâąïž
(Willâs hair was blue and pink for weeks)
RAINBOW WAR PAINT FOR CAPTURE THE FLAG.
Clarisse fucking kicked someone into the lake because they made fun of one of her siblingsâ dyed hair
Connor thought it would be funny to leave a mini pan flag on top of Mr. Dâs Diet Coke stash, mostly as a harmless joke, but the next day he noticed Mr. D had tucked it into his horrible Hawaiian shirt pocket like a handkerchiefđ
watching Love, Simon in the amphitheater for movie night and half the campers had to excuse themselves early for sobbing too hard
Malcolm and Annabeth reread Red White and Royal Blue every summer. They say theyâre Henry and June, Connor is Alex, and Percy is Nora
(this is confirmed when the two of them start a foot fight in the dining pavilion with a Chipotle burrito)
Leo IMing Jo and Emmie to wish them a happy pride (and tell Georgina and Waystation I said hello)
Piper and Leo getting into a HEATED debate about whether Velma Dinkley is a lesbian or not
âYOU CANNOT LOOK AT HER OVERSIZED-SWEATER-OVER-MY-PROM-DRESS ASS AND TELL ME YOU THINK SHEâS TOTALLY STRAIGHTââ
âWHAT SHE AND SHAGGY HAD WAS REAL, BEAUTY QUEEN! HOT DOG WATER AINâT GOT NOTHIN ON NORVILLE ROGERSââ
âLEO! HER NAME IS MARCIE! AND THEY ARE EACH OTHERâS W A L L P A P E R S .â
Jason, sitting in the middle of them, now deaf in both ears: Lupa give me strength
GUYS PLEASE SEND ME SPECIFIC SHIPS OR CHARACTERS TO WRITE PRIDE HCâS FOR I WOULD LOVE TOđđđđ
#riordanverse#pjo#chb#camp half blood#percy jackson#leo valdez#toa#pride#jason grace#valgrace#annabeth chase#percabeth#nico di angelo#piper mclean#solangelo#cecil markowitz#lou ellen blackstone#clarisse la rue#connor stoll#malconnor
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hey all !! normally i wouldn't engage in something like this on my blog, but considering that it's happening to a friend of mine, i felt i had an obligation to speak out. sorry for clogging up the tags/interrupting your scrolling đ
tldr: @/hxveneru has stolen the works of my good friend @lowkeyren not once, but twice and is deleting any comments calling them out.
edit: they've changed their user to @/yneri; if you've blocked them already, this doesn't really matter bc they're still blocked :) reminder to not engage with them, they're just looking for attention. block and ignore!
i know. fun stuff. proof is under the cut.
please note that i'm doing this of my own accord, and the only involvement ren has had in this post is me asking for permission to post it since, well, it's an issue mainly affecting her.
also i should say beforehand but. don't ??? send them death threats please đ we are better than that. i'm mainly making this to spread awareness about the issue :)
reblogs are appreciated to spread awareness.
first stolen work is ren's oneshot "drunk words, sober thoughts!" for aventurine here.
as you can see, it was posted on June 15th, a little over two months before hxveneru posted their own oneshot.
for reference. hxveneru is a new blog and all of their posts are in the month of september, proven here via their archive.
and here's the two oneshots side by side, with ren's on the left and the stolen one on the right.
notice how the oneshots are exactly word-for-word except for the title and synopsis? even the author's note is exactly the same. obviously i can't fit the whole thing here, but this should be enough.
honestly it's. i have to laugh at the audacity to just copy and paste like hello???
and here's the second work that was copied, with hxveneru's "diff scenarios w hsr men" taking from drabbles from two of ren's works.
these are the two fics that were stolen from, with their dates attached. both are posted far before september. links are here and here if you want to double check..
now let's look at the drabbles that were - once again, copy and pasted. first is blade's, again with ren on the left and the stolen one on the right (ren's is circled bc they didn't take the hcs part).
and here is the sunday drabble that was stolen.
so far, those are the only works posted on their blog. i was also informed that they had apparently stolen from @/exuvianen's post here but deleted it, but since said post is deleted, we don't have evidence for that so take it with a grain of salt.
but yeah! just wanted to let yall know out there, especially since the plagiarized works have already gained some traction and have 100+ notes on them. i've talked about them vaguely on my blog before, so if this sounds familiar, yeah this is them.
plagiarism is shitty, i shouldn't have to say that. it is not that hard to just write your own stuff. i know validation and publicity make you feel good, but stealing someone else's hard work is not the way to go. writers already have enough to deal with. just don't do it. what's the point of getting validation if it's not even your work?
again, don't send death threats, please. that's a bit far, and they likely won't even do anything since the plagiarizer has already been called out before and this was their response.
not a single ounce of remorse or shame. people have gotten way too comfortable on here.
also "who the hell is ren anyway" bestie you blocked her đđ and ignored her ask to you. that's why ren can't dm her to sort it out privately btw, in case you were wondering.
anyways! that's all i have to say, thanks for sticking around this long and have a great rest of your day. hxveneru if you see this. hi ig ?? id say smth to you but i doubt you'd take it seriously so i won't <3
#psa#plagiarism#raise awareness#honkai star rail#honkai star rail x reader#hsr#hsr x reader#x reader#writers on tumblr#tumblr writers#honkai star rail blade#hsr blade#honkai star rail sunday#hsr sunday#sunday x reader#blade x reader#hsr aventurine#aventurine x reader#honkai star rail aventurine#announcements đ”ïž
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hi! First of all - i love the way u write omgđ i basically went through all your posts last evening and today hahah (procrastinating at itâs finestđ) Second - i wanna request a prompt, but i dunno if itâs too close to the one where âreader tells the lads boys that sheâs too heavy for themâ? if so, just ignore this!đ«Ąđ
If not - could you write something about the boys finding out that reader/mc used to have bulimia(/or unspecified ed) and that sheâs quietly struggling again, but not telling them? Maybe something angsty/comforting?
Trigger warning - This involves talk about eating disorders. Please use discretion when reading! Oh my gosh, thank you so much!! That means so much, because I used to write a lot years ago but stopped for a long time. I only got back into it recently, so the love I've been receiving has really done a positive number to my confidence. Thank you, lovely <3 I don't think it's possible for me to NOT write this request, because I'm a long time ED sufferer, and I am currently experiencing a harsh relapse unfortunately... You read me like a book, because 'Too Heavy' was a direct reference to that. It's hard, because it's such an invisible problem that oftentimes you suffer alone. Thank you for the request, hopefully I did it some justice, and for you or anyone who may relate to this post. (Also wrote this while listening to Lullaby - Jhameel on repeat. Give it a listen!)
Love and Deepspace Li's find out about your ED (and your current struggle)
Zayne -
The moment he finds out you live with an ED, he's down at the library finding any books he can, and researching as much as possible throughout the hospital and his old college's database.
He's also finding patient testimonials that have been released, so he can find the most compassionate approach that would help you without causing you any more harm than you already are experiencing at the hands of your own mind.
"I found a new restaurant I want to try. Apparently, they make a certain dish really well, I think we should try it together while we go over the latest mission you wished to tell me about."
He knows what you like, so it makes it easy for him to order things to share together places and ensure you're eating.
He will go out to eat every single day if he needs to, that's not any issue to him. Neither is sharing foods or cooking meals that he knows you love, even if they're not particularly his favorite.
He tries not to talk to you much about it, but does his best to be encouraging and nothing more whenever the subject of professional help comes up.
When you start opening up even more to him, he's all ears, and he's exceedingly careful about his choices of words, like he always is, but even more so now. The last thing he wants is to speak a trigger, especially when he's so focused on helping you get better.
He knows it never truly goes away, your disorder. But that's not an issue. It's more... a fact of being with you. And just like you take his problems and disabilities, he will take every single one of yours as well.
In stride, and with love.
Xavier -
He caught on, mostly because he found it strange that one moment you had eaten every single snack in the cupboard, and the next he heard, you hadn't eaten anything all day. He was wondering if it was something he was just unaware of, but-
Quickly finds out what exactly is going on after a few times of this happening. He was worried it was some strange habit, and now he's even more worried finding out it's been something you've been dealing with for quite a while.
He's upset, to say the least. But he'll keep that to himself.
He just wants to help you now.
He'll ask if there's anything that you feel like sharing with him on how to best help you, and there's definitely a note somewhere on his phone with a list of things you told him. If he can do any of them daily, he will. Anything else is always on his mind.
He doesn't let it get in the way of your day to day, though. You still play games together like normal, read together, and go the arcade whenever you both have the opportunity to win some more plushies for your hoards. He's always conscious about his own comments and behavior, but he doesn't ever let it seem like he's keeping an eye on you or trying to supervise you.
The tightrope of trusting you and helping you deal with your disorder is a thin one, and Xavier dances along it with grace.
No matter what, being around him is a comfort. Whether you're having a good day, or a bad day.
Sylus -
He's pretty internally frustrated when he first find out about it, but he doesn't let it show.
It has nothing to do with you or anything you did. He's just used to... having everything under control. For every problem to have a solution solved easily with money, force, or some compassion.
This is something he can't control.
And he hates it.
Aside from that, Sylus is like a light in the dark.
He had a list of trusted professionals to help you, should you want, and multiple of them at that- just in case you don't feel comfortable with the first one or three.
Any food you genuinely like to eat is available at all times, it does not matter if it is three in the morning. Are you wanting it? Nice, it's right there on your plate.
The frequency of which you see him increases, including the twins, despite both situations being... vastly different.
Where he takes you out for dinners at new and gorgeous restaurants, including ones feature in your favorite media or having special events for a game you like- the twins are throwing bags of snacks at you and yelling at you to throw pieces into their mouths and so they can do the same to you.
You will learn Sylus did not ask them to do this, in fact he explicitly told them not to do that.
It's pretty obvious though, they were worried about Sylus. And not just him, but you too.
Probably because of how much Sylus has been concerned about you, even if just in secret.
He doesn't want his feelings to make you feel anything but loved, so prepare for a speech the second you feel any kind of guilty. You're not getting out of this one.
Not until you know how much he cares about you, no matter what.
Rafayel -
The way he treats it is extremely encompassing. The way he sees it, is if you're sad or not doing too hot mentally, it's going to affect every part of your brain, including the parts that make you feel the way you do with your ED.
Driving you somewhere? He's playing upbeat music pounding out of the speakers of his sports car, singing along goofily or making up new words. You haven't eaten in a long time? Too bad, suddenly he's hungry and wants a snack. In fact, he wants a snack every couple of hours. If you binged and feel like dying, he'll be offering you water and any distraction he can to get your mind off of your appearance or the guilt of your binge.
He will spend more of his own free time at the gym if he needs to to work off any extra weight he gains just to help you eat, if eating with him is what helps you and he doesn't want you to see him change and feel guilty over it. He doesn't care.
Constant, constant praise with him. It is not about your appearance, unless it's something you can change. Clothing you picked out, the way your makeup looks today, a hairstyle you did to yourself, etc. So many compliments on your achievements or work, all with a sweet smile across his face.
If it's really bad, he'll paint you gorgeous works in different sizes, that are conveniently perfectly sized to display directly over any mirrors in your apartment.
Whatever you need, he's on it.
He'll be there for you no matter your highs or your lows.
#.writey#love and deepspace#lads#lds#x reader#lnds#rafayel x reader#sylus x reader#xavier x reader#zayne x reader#tw ed#tw ed discussion#trigger warning
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Heyyy, I just saw that you were taking requests for Tangerine x Readers, and I was wondering if you could write something like Tangerine and reader being fwb before the whole bullet train thingy, and she catches feelings but he's super distant (bro has serious attachment issues) so he pushes her away and is a bitchy manchild about it (LOTS AND LOTS OF ANGST but it has a fluffy ending) (smutty too if ur comfortable with it) ofc u can ignore this request if u don't want to, and I'd write it myself but I have zero motivation rn and I js wanna cry and then giggleđđ«¶
And I Have To Live With It, For the Rest of My Life
Tangerine x fem!reader
WC: 3.4k
CW: HEAVY ANGST; slut shaming; booze/being drunk; fighting; cursing; lack of aftercare; mentions of sex; Tangerine is a HUGE asshole. Tiny fluff ending.
A/n: Hi love! Thanks for requesting! Sorry this took so long I just needed to find inspo. Iâm also sorry for the lack of smut (and fluff tbh,) I just donât take smut requests. As for fluff, I did want a âhappy endingâ but it felt cheap to try and go from ANGST to âeverything is perfect againâ in such few words. Maybe Iâm just traumatized, but I have a hard time forgiving quickly lol and I think that shows here.
Everything was really, really good.
So of course you had to go and ruin it.
People say you canât control matters of the heart and you think that itâs a load of bullcrap. Why not? Why couldnât you have control over your heart?
And why did you have to catch feelings for Tangerine?
It isnât part of the deal. Tangerine is a business partner. An acquaintance. A friend. A friend you occasionally fuck.
Your relationship with Tangerine was always supposed to be casual. No strings attached- business was simply business and fucking simply fucking. But then your heart got involved.
Whatâs one supposed to do?
Certainly not keep going back to the captor of oneâs heart.
So of course thatâs exactly what you do.
Youâre laying in your hotel bed, completely naked, covers pooled around your waist. You and Tangerine just finished having sex and heâs already up and moving about, throwing on his clothes that had been discarded on the floor somewhere in your flurry of lust. Instead of saying anything, you just watch him in all his glory. You admire his tousled post-sex hair, curls askew, the way his back muscles ripple as he bends down to sweep his shirt up off the ground, and the way his fingers deftly button up his shirt.
âGot a meeting to head off to?â You ask casually.
Translation: Please donât run off so soon if you donât have to. Stay.
Tangerineâs eyes flit to yours briefly before he bends down to tie his shoes, âsomething like that.â
âMhmm.â
You pull the covers up to your neck, suddenly feeling very vulnerable so bare and exposed to Tangerine whoâs nearly fully dressed.
âYou got a comb?â the brunette asks you gruffly as he straightens his suit jacket.
You nod towards the bathroom, âyeah, in there.â
He gives you no reply, only walking into the bathroom and shutting the door with a resounding thud.
Your stomach clenches painfully and your heart aches. The indifference with which Tangerine treats you hurts so badly. Youâd rather him hate you then act like this. At least youâd know that he felt something, anything.
Is it too early for a drink?
The bathroom door opens again and Tangerine walks out, looking as though nothing ever happened. To him, nothing probably has. Nothing of consequence, at least.
âWell, Iâm heading out. See you for our debrief tonight at nine.â
Tangerine begins to walk towards the door.
âWait!â you call out.
You stop him just in time, his hand frozen on the handle. You swear he visibly tenses at your words, âwhat?â
âCould- could you at least get me a towel? Please?â
He doesnât even look at you before nodding, âYeah.â
He disappears into the bathroom for a moment before reappearing with a towel in hand. Tangerine, it seems, doesnât even have the decency to walk the towel over to you. Instead, he tosses it across the room, almost hitting you in the face.
âThanks.â
Shame pools in your stomach and you keep your gaze on the towel in your hands.
Tangerine grumbles a reply and then makes for the door so quickly that thereâs no chance for you to say anything more.
Your heart sinks at the possibility that Tangerine might know you have feelings for him.
*****
Youâve already found a secluded spot in the hotel lounge and have a drink in hand when the twins appear downstairs. They take a seat across from you wordlessly and Tangerine lifts his hand in the air gracefully, motioning for a cocktail waitress to come take his order. Lemon and him order their drinks, and you ask for a second. It bothers you severely when you catch Tangerine winking at the waitress out of the corner of your eye.
You down the rest of your drink in one gulp and ignore how it burns your throat.
âRight, so the jobâs done. When are we getting out of here?â Lemon asks tiredly.
âWe,â Tangerine says, pointing between him and his brother, âare out of here first thing in the morning, âIâve booked our tickets for a 5 am flight.â
âAnd her?â Lemon responds, pointing to you.
Tangerine barely glances at you, but you can see his jaw tense, âthe jobâs done. Figured sheâs a fucking big girl who can handle getting herself home. Isnât that right, love?â
Condescension drips from Tangerineâs words and it makes your stomach drop. You refrain from saying what you really want to and instead assume a relaxed persona, âmhmm, always right you are. I arranged for my travel last night.â
You, luckily, werenât lying, though you had ordered a car big enough for three. More room for you, you guess.
The waitress comes back with your drinks and you eagerly take yours. When she asks if you need anything else, you can tell that sheâs really only talking to Tangerine. Still, you tell her yes, asking for a third drink.
Lemon eyes you, âyou havenât even touched your second drink and now youâre ordering a third?â
You shrug your shoulders nonchalantly and lean back in your chair, âIâve got the money to spend on it now that we each just made what, nearly 12,000 pounds?â
Lemon smirks in celebration and holds out his drink to you, âcheers.â
You clink glasses but Tangerine doesnât join in, a perpetual frown gracing his face.
âYa really wanna get fucking sloshed before ya travel tomorrow?â the brunette suddenly chimes in- rather judgmentally, you might add.
âWho said anything about sloshed, Tangerine? I can hold more than you think.â
While your answer is confident, even combative, on the inside, your heart leaps into your throat and pounds desperately. You think you might explode.
âStill, ya certainly donât have any self-control. Not over ya drinks, your mouth, and most importantlyâŠ.â Tangerineâs eyes narrow at you, ânot over ya emotions.â
Your heart sinks in your chest.
So Tangerine did know about your feelings. Worse? Heâs being a right fucking prick about it too. Thereâs no emotional sensitivity, no respect for privacy, nothing. Serves you right for fucking a cold-blooded assassin.
Unfortunately for you, tears spring to your eyes despite the fury boiling in your stomach, âyou wanna talk about control, Tangerine? Letâs talk about how you have so little control over your own feelings that you lash out at others and make them feel like shit, even your own brother, so that you feel better. Letâs talk about how you canât keep your dick in your pants because youâd rather fuck anything that looks at you than deal with anything real. Letâs talk about how whatâs happened between us has made you feel so out of control that youâre willing to go low enough to hash this out in fucking public. Youâre a walking disaster, Tangerine, and I feel right fucking sorry for you, I really do.â
You stand up harshly and purposely knock his drink onto his expensive suit. You start to walk away and then turn back, batting your eyelashes innocently, âoh wait, should I get you a fucking towel to clean up? Or would you rather beg me for it?â
You donât wait for a response and grab a dry towel off a random cleaning rack, throwing it right in his fucking face.
*****
Tangerine glares after you as you storm off.
âWhat the bloody fuck was that all about?â Lemon protests.
Tangerine ignores Lemon and instead curses loudly before chasing after you. He could not let you have the last fucking word. He catches you right in time, hand stopping the doors of the elevator youâre in.
You look up at him startled, and your shocked expression is quickly replaced with an angry one.
âWhat the fuck, Tangerine? Get out of here!â
âYa donât get to fucking talk to me like that and spill my drink all over me and then just walk away.â
âWhy not,â you scoff, âyou ran away as soon as you were done using me to jack off. It only seems fair.â
The elevator doors slide shut and the car begins to move upwards slowly.
âYeah, well thatâs usually what happens when ya casually fuck someone. But I donât think ya have a casual bone in your body- always stomping around being a dramatic attention-whore.â
Tangerine watches your eyes narrow and jaw harden, âthereâs a difference between being causal and being a huge dick, Tangerine. I shouldâve known youâd be the latter.â
âAnd I shouldâve known not to mess around with a fucking slut like you.â
Your eyes widen in shock and even Tangerine knows that heâs taken things a little too far. While your effort to fight back your tears is valiant, itâs fruitless, and they begin to stream down your face.
âFuck you, Tangerine. You know, I never expected you to return my feelings, and Iâm sorry I crossed a line by falling for you. Swear to fucking god I wish I didnât. But you- youâve just crossed an unforgivable line, and I never want to see you again. Have a fucking nice life.â
The elevator doors slide open and you scurry out. This time, Tangerine doesnât follow you.
*****
After everything that happened with Tangerine on your last mission, you decided to take an indefinite hiatus from work and just focus on yourself.
One of your goals? Fuck your feelings for Tangerine out of you. So of course, youâd been spending a lot of nights out at the bars, seducing all the eligible bachelors of the city into your bed.
You hope that itâs working.
Tonight is no different from the rest- you dressed up in one of your sexy outfits sitting at the bar of some new local pub. Youâve already eyed a muscular blonde about your age from across the bar and motion for him to come over.
He complies and makes his way to you, a cocky smirk on his face.
âHey gorgeous,â you tease, looking him up and down.
The man takes a seat next to you, âHullo, love. Whatâs a pretty girl like you doing sitting at the bar all by herself?â
You shrug nonchalantly, âlooking for a handsome man. Like you, I suppose.â
He cocks his eyebrow at you, âyou suppose?â
âAlways hard to tell in this type of lighting.â
The blonde bites his lip and eyes you, âI can promise you Iâm handsome.â
âWeâll see.â
âIâm Matt,â he says, extending his hand.
You respond with your name and grasp his hand. Youâre expecting a handshake, but instead he brings your knuckles to his lips and kisses them softly.
âPleasure to meet you.â
Damn this man is smooth.
âReally, the pleasure is all mine, Matt,â you respond, trying not to appear too flustered.
âCan I get you a drink?â
âYeah, sure. Surprise me though.â
Matt orders the two of you drinks and you take the time to ogle him. Heâs perfect.
But not as per-
Nope.
No, you donât have time to think about him.
Matt hands you the mysterious concoction and you eye him, âwhat is it?â
âJust drink,â he nods, âpromise itâs good.â
You take a small sip and itâs sweet. Itâs yummy, and you take another, larger sip.
âOh shit, this is good.â
âTold you.â
âCan I know what it is now?â
âNo way. Need to hold this above you so you keep coming back to me to ask for another.â
You chuckle and look down, âokay Mr. Smooth-Talker. That was pretty good.â
âI can do a lot more than that,â he says seductively. His hand slides out casually and finds a home on your thigh.
You inhale sharply in pleasant surprise and lean towards him, âoh really?â
Matt leans in towards you too, âyeah, like-â
Just as youâre about to kiss him you hear a loud shout.
âHey, get your hands off her!â
You startle at the sound and turn to see who could possibly be yelling like a maniac inside this bar. Youâre also curious to know whoâs the one getting yelled at.
Your stomach drops when you realize that youâre the target. And the yeller?
Tangerine.
âOh my fucking God,â you curse, resting your forehead in your hands.
Tangerine comes stalking towards you.
âUh, who the fuck is that?â Matt asks warily.
âMy exâŠ.fuck-buddy? Friend-with-benefits? I donât know, it was complicated. But a piece of shit- thatâs what he is.â
âWhat the fuck are you doing, mate?â Tangerine yells at Matt when he approaches you two. His words slur together and you can tell heâs really, really drunk.
âI could ask you the same thing,â Matt says gruffly.
âIâm not the one getting handsy with someone elseâs girl,â the brunette snarls.
You scoff loudly, âYour girl? Thatâs rich Tangerine. Last I recall I was just a slut you fucked.â
Tangerineâs expression softens just the slightest and you almost think you clock regret in his eyes.
âLook, mate, youâre drunk. So get your ass out of here before I hand it to you,â Matt threatens.
Tangerine is sent back into his rage and steps toward Matt menacingly, âyou little fucking,â
âOkay,â you shout, stepping in between them and putting a hand on each of their chests, âthatâs enough.â
âTangerine, go. home,â you growl.
âYeah fucking right I-â
âJust let me take him,â Matt interrupts.
You scan his tense body, âLook, I appreciate it, but youâre not gonna win. Tangerine here is, well, trained. And I donât want anything to happen to your pretty face. Iâll take care of him.â
âBut heâs definitely stronger than you,â Matt protests.
You side eye Tangerine, âhe wonât hurt me.â
The blondeâs eyes narrow.
âPhysically, at least.â
Matt finally sighs and steps back, âIâll be waiting here for you.â
You send him a half smile and then turn to the brunette with a glare, âLetâs. Go.â
Then, you literally grab him by the ear and drag him outside the bar. Tangerine lets out a string of curses and tries to fight back a little before he finally gives up.
When you get outside you let go of his ear and shove him, âWhat the fuck was that, Tangerine?â
âI was trying to protect you from that git,â he slurs.
âTangerine, youâre the git. Youâre the one that hurt me. Itâs you I need protection from.â
Tangerineâs tough guy facade crumbles right before your eyes into one of remorse. He suddenly looks years beyond his age and crumples down onto the sidewalk, back pressed to the wall.
You look down at him with disgust. His hair is all over the place, his clothes are a complete mess, and he reeks of booze.
âIâm calling Lemon.â
With shaky hands you dial his number.
He picks up rather quickly and you can hear the confusion in his voice when he answers, âuh, hello?â
âLemon, come get your fucking brother.â
*****
Although Matt was everything you couldâve hoped for, your night was ruined after Tangerine left. Luckily, Matt was understanding, and youâd exchanged numbers to meet up another day.
When youâd gotten home from the bar, youâd broken down completely. All of the anger, betrayal, frustration and sadness that had been pent up within you for weeks burst forth like a raging storm. Youâd sobbed and screamed and even pitched a picture frame of you, Tangerine, and Lemon across the room, shattering it. The broken glass was a problem for later-you, and youâd ended up falling asleep on your couch, still in your bar clothes.
Loud bangs are what startle you awake hours later, and you curse as you flail off the couch. You hit the floor with a thud and groan. Now, not only is your head pounding, but your back will be all beat up too.
The pounding on your door continues and you curse whoever is making a ruckus this early.
You yank the door open, âwhat the fuck do you want?â
The last person you expect to see is on the other side.
Tangerine.
âFuck off,â you spit before swinging the door shut resoundly.
Except the door doesnât close because Tangerineâs foot catches it.
âFuck me,â he groans in pain.
The brunette shoves the door back open and you smirk, âthatâs what you get for being in places you donât belong. Now get the hell out of my apartment.â
âWait, wait. Please, just give me a chance to talk to ya. And then, if ya want, you never have to fucking see my face again.â
You donât reward him with a response and instead just walk away, sighing.
Tangerine takes this as an invitation and walks inside your apartment, letting the door shut gently behind him. You beeline straight to where you left off on the couch, paying him no mind.
The idiot must not be paying attention because you hear the crackle of glass beneath his shoes and a quiet curse.
Tangerine goes silent and you stiffen, listening closely. You hear the pings of shattered glass being sifted through and then his footsteps as he nears your spot on the couch.
âI forgot about this picture,â he rasps.
âWell you can fucking have it. I donât want it anymore.â
âCan I- can I sit?â
You briefly glance over at Tangerine and look him up and down. You donât respond, only nodding.
Though he, like you, is still in his clothes from last night, he looks ten times worse. The purple bags under his eyes are heavy and dark, his hair and mustache arenât groomed, his button up is missing a few buttons, and his shoes are untied. Maybe itâs bad to say, but you revel in how miserable and pathetic he looks.
âYou look fucking awful,â you remark, venom heavy in your tone.
âAnd ya look like youâve been crying.â
âWell no shit, Tangerine. Sort of happens when someone you thought was your friend turns out to be a big fucking prick. â
He looks down at his feet and shuffles awkwardly, âI know. Iâve uh, thatâs why I came here to talk to ya. To apologize.â
You scoff and look at him with disbelief, âokay now you want to apologize? Only when youâve fucking hit rock bottom you wanna mend things?â
âLove, no I, Iâve been wanting to since that night in the fucking elevator I-â
âDonât call me that,â you whisper angrily, lip wobbling in spite of yourself.
âIâm not your love, Iâm not your friend, Iâm not your anything anymore. Weâre done Tangerine, this is over.â
Itâs then that the boy youâve known for almost five years does something you never would have imagined.
He grovels.
He literally gets on his knees before you and grabs your hands tightly, looking up at you with pleading eyes.
âJust listen to me for a second. Please. I want ya to know how fucking sorry I am. Not just for last night, but for everything. Iâm sorry I called ya a slut. Iâm sorry I was rude, and distant, and an asshole. Iâm sorry for fucking you like some piece of meat and then just leaving you behind with no aftercare, no attention, nothing. Iâm sorry for being a terrible friend and Iâm sorry for not telling you that I love you sooner.â
Tears shine in Tangerineâs blue eyes and he chokes on his next words, âChrist, I love ya so fucking much. And I know Iâve gone and fucked things up now, and that itâs too late. And I have to accept every day for the rest of my life that itâs my fault. I have to live with that. And I will, even though it could kill me. But I donât know what I wouldâve done if I couldnât tell ya at least once.â
Tangerineâs forehead falls to your knees and his body begins to shake in quiet sobs.
He inhales sharply through his nose, trying to hold back more tears, and looks up at you so sadly. âYouâre the best girl out there, and you deserve the best. You deserve to find that with someone. Someone who isnât me.â
Tears of your own begin to drip from your face and your heart throbs in your chest.
You reach out and cup Tangerineâs jaw so gently itâs as if he could crumble under your fingertips at any second.
âTangerine,â you whisper.
You search his eyes for any sign of insincerity, of some sign that heâs going to break your heart again. But all you see is true, genuine adoration and vulnerability. Consciously or not, your heart returns to the hands of the one who holds and you pull him in, kissing him softly.
The kiss is sloppy, and salty and wet, but you donât care, because every peck and sigh and bite is punctuated by what you both know- I love you. I love you. I love you.
#tangerine x reader#tangerine angst#tangerine and lemon#tangerine fic#tangerine fanfiction#lemon and tangerine#tangerine bullet train#tangerine blurb#tangerine fluff#tangerine#tangerine x fem!reader#tangerine x y/n#tangerine x you#tangerine bullet train x you#tangerine bullet train x reader#tangerine bullet train x y/n#bullet train x reader#bullet train tangerine#bullet train movie#bullet train fanfic#bullet train fanfiction#bullet train tangerine fic#tangerine hurt/comfort#aaron taylor johnson#atj#bullet train#bullet train lemon#tangerine one shot#bullet train tangerine one shot
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willne and y/n being good friends, where shes been in his videos a couple times before and people always do edits of them and lowkey ship themâïž
and everybody thinks theyre dating but theyre all like "no guysđŁ!!" but they actually are down bad for eachother
PLEASE MAKE THEM END UP TOGETHERRRđ
thanks bestie!âșïž
Omg this is a cute idea. i fw cutesy shit like this heavy anon. I'm gonna assume fem reader cause u said she, so she it will be.
WillNE x fem!reader
No details abt y/n, just that she is girl and has been on Wills channel and has one of her own.
Potential title;
what the fans want, the fans get.(its me, im fans.)
NO NSFW, JUST CUTESY !!
Anytime Will posted a video and y/n was in it, it would get more views than the ones with James, or if y/n posted featuring Will. And mainly because the comments.
lord the comments.
"omg they'd literally be the best power couple on youtube"
"THE TENSION, JUST KISS ALREADY"
"PLSSS I NEED YOU TWO TO GET TOGETHER ALREADYY"
"bro fr rizzed her up"
Will and y/n never directly responded to comments, unless one made a joke to the other about them, making the other blush slightly. Or if James decided to make a joke, which would make both of them incredibly flustered as they immediately deflected it.
"what? Me and her/him would never work, dating her/him would be a bloody nightmare."
"Will(or)Y/n? Seriously? Nah, I don't think that'd work.."
Are just a few of the usual responses to either of them would give if asked about the comments, or if a joke happened to be made.
But privately, it wasn't so much of a joke. Will would make it seem like he couldn't stand dating her, but really that's all he wanted. And y/n seemed to think Will genuinely didn't want her, but she most definitely wanted him.
The way she'd stare at him when he spoke, or did anything really, would make Will's heart skip a beat.
The way Will would offer to help her with things or get things higher up for her gave her butterflies, especially if he reached around her.
Basically the tension was thick enough to cut with a knife, and the fans definitely noticed more and more in the videos of the two together.
And like the fans they are, would comment on every single little interaction and blow up the videos by just shipping them.
Today was no different, y/n being at Will's as they talk over ideas for videos and hang out, and boy are the comments from the fans relentless.
"Y'know, Will, I think the fans want us to get together. Wouldn't it be funny if we did a joke video of us going on a date or something? Just to mess with them?"
Will immediately blushed but hid by turning away slightly and letting out a laugh as he nodded, he managed to get himself under control and not blush.. but his cheeks were still definitely pink at the idea of taking her on a date, even as a joke.
"Ah yeah, that'd be well fun, eh? Get to take a pretty girl like you out and mess with those morons."
Now it's y/ns turn to blush as she stares at him and smiles a bit, letting out a little laugh. She nods a bit and stares at him, crossing her arms over her chest.
"But just as a joke.. right? Wouldn't want to over indulge them, right?"
Will seemed to think for a second at that as he stared at her, not really knowing what to say. He could either reject the girl he's been wanting for ages or make a fool of himself if she didn't want him.
She stared at him as she waited for a response, hoping he'd say for real, but also hoping that'd he'd play it off as a joke just so it doesn't get awkward.. but it's already awkward as they silently stare at eachother.
"I uhm-.. I mean if you want it to be a real date, I'd take you on one.. but surely you wouldn't, don't wanna over indulge the fans, eh?"
Will managed to say, feeling like his heart had broken his ribcage then dropped into his stomach as he stared at her. He managed a smile and a small chuckle as he ignored how sweaty his palms felt.
Y/n on the other hand, was freaking out. Her stomach twisting and doing flips as she tried to fight the growing warmth on her cheeks as she stared at him.
"I wouldn't mind a real date.. If you were serious."
She said as she stared at him, ignoring the lump in her throat as she bites the inside of her cheek, staring at him hopefully as she hopes he was serious, and not just messing with her.
He nearly died. He was absolutely giddy with excitement as she confirmed she'd go on a real date with him. Shit. She wants to go on a date with him. His stomach does flips as he stares at her and smiles widely.
"Obviously I'd take you on a real date, y/n. But we definitely shouldn't over indulge the fans, they might all explode, the morons.."
He said as he got closer to her, seeming like he wanted to touch her somehow, but didn't want to overstep.
She stared at him as she smiled, her cheeks flushing a light red as she looked at him and stood right in front of him and glanced at his lips.
"I'll go on the date if I get a kiss. Gotta know that you're serious, y'know?"
She said as she shrugged and stared up at him expectantly, grinning slightly.
He smiled but froze, staring at her for a second. He sneakily wiped his hands on his pants, de-sweaty-ing his hands before he gently cupped her cheeks.
He hesitantly leaned in, pressing a soft and gentle kiss to her lips she could pull away from anytime. But he hoped she wouldn't and that she was serious.
And boy was she serious. She gently put her hands on his jaw, kissing him back as she smiled.
Eventually they both pulled away, staring at eachother and smiling like idiots, which they were idiots for not getting together sooner.
"So, where we goin for that date Lovely?"
"Hm, I dunno.. Surprise me, but not somewhere super fancy, somewhere simple."
He smiled, nodding as he heard her request for a simple date. He stared at her for a moment before kissing her again, to which she happily kissed him back, hugging him tightly.
BONUS!!!!
It has been months since they'd been dating, and finally decided to tell the fans. Using y/ns original idea of a fake date, but it just being a real date that will could write off as a business expense. Which got millions of views, and loads of comments.
"OMFG ARE THEY ACTUALLY OFFICIAL??"
"HOLY SHIT HE BAGGED HER FINALLY"
"Omg they're so cute together I can't-"
"lil bro actually rizzed her up"
Despite it being an even split between doubtful comments and comments being overly excited they got together, they eventually decided to confirm it to the fans a few weeks later..
To which so many of them freaked out, in a happy way. Tweets, posts, comments, and all of the above from fans freaking out over their favorite ship finally being confirmed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bro this was so silly goofy to write, i love it smsm.
BUT PEOPLE FROM OTHER FANDOMS PLSPLS GIVE ME REQUESTS, I LOVE DOING WILLNE BUT I NEED MORE IDEAS FOR THE OTHER THINGS I LIKE PLSPLSPLS
also to the anon or multiple that keep requesting willne, i will continue to feed u trust đ love u
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Murf's Top 50 Mods - Part 3 (2020 - 2023 Edition)
I made a Top 50 list (Pt 1 and Pt2) back in 2016, talking about mods that I've used & love. But with all the goated content that the amazing TS3 community continues to churn out, I NEEDED to update my list! This one in no way diminishes or negates the other mods I've already listed--like, I shouldn't have to sit here and explain how NRAAS continues to carry TS3 on its freaking shoulders, ok. This is just MORE mods, the Top 50 most RECENT ones I've tried out since, like, quarantine.
I am a VERY niche simmer--I love fantasy gameplay, so my fave mods are the ones that not only offer general quality of life improvements, but also add new abilities and interactive objects inspired by different cultures, time periods, or genres. So y'all already KNOW which ones have earned my top spots. They're not based on which mods are "better," just which ones I personally have been using the most.
1: Smooth Patch, LazyDuchess
I've already gushed about this mod, but oh well. Like--I use an EFFTON of CC. My Live Mode gameplay itself doesn't tend to lag so much as my game's slow to LOAD, slow to save, CAS is a nightmare, I can do my taxes waiting for the Misc Decor section to open, etc etc. But the Smooth Patch loads everything so much quicker for me! đ
One thing is that on the EA App version (curse you, EA) the Master Controller package didn't work on my end, so I took it out, but everything else has been great!
2: Search Mod, LazyDuchess
Speaking of the Misc Decor section -- HOW LONG did we ask EA for a Search function y'all? Only to be ignored. Then the second TS4 is released, it ain't got a effing thing in it, but it's got a Search function??? đ€ ISTG it's like the simgurus were told to take all of the TS3 community's best suggestions, and poach them for TS4 (like vampire coffins--NO I'm not over it!). WHY do modders have to do your frikkin job for you, EA?! I call EA lazy all the time cuz EA you suck, so it's the most ironic thing ever that LazyDuchess is out here KILLING IT.
My ONLY "complaint" about the Search mod is the position of the icon. I use A LOT of Collection Files, and I noticed that the Search icon actually covers the Delete button when in the Collection viewer. So I can't delete items in collections with the Search icon in the way.
But this is a MINOR nitpick--I almost never delete items, it's just something I noticed is all.
3 - 8: OCCULT MODS: EVERYTHING by @puddingface1902
Y'all already know the Enhanced Witches mod is my favorite mod ever made. But PF1902 also made cool enhancements to the Fairies, Genies, Vampires, Werewolves, and Mermaids too! My sims are usually Nraas hybrids (e.g.: Sakura is a faery, witch & plantsim; Magnus Bane is a witch & genie; etc.), so it's FANTASTIC having so many new abilities for my magical occults. đ
9 - 11: OCCULT MODS by xantak22
Even more occult mods at MTS are for enhanced Plantsims, Ghosts, and Mummies! I was dying for more Plantsim abilities, omg, they're my 3rd fave occult after Witches & Fae.
12: Sim Control Tools by Knight
Sooooo many quality of life mods have come out! ^0^
I've been ABUSING the Teleport To Me function, to quickly get sims off of lots & where I need them to be. It also lets sims unlock more Social/Romantic interactions. (Now all we need is a way to interact with sims from EA's useless thumbnails.)
13 - 18: @anitmb's mods
There are SOOOO many--most I've yet to even try. But so far newer ones I've been using are the Deck of Cards (FINALLY something other than EA's bulky AF poker table!), Farm Mod (look at all these CHICKENS!), and Hunting mod so my 8000 archer sims can actually hunt! (Ofc I've also used the Woodcutter and Anvil mods in my older gameplay posts, too.) And @mspoodle1's edit of the Cup of Tea mod is so pretty.
19: @mspoodle1's Poker table
Another excellent cards mod is this medieval style poker table I use a lot now, too.
20: @omedapixel's Wildflowers DR
I like EA's default wildflowers from SSNS, but Omeda's are just sooooo much nicer. (I haven't gotten around to trying out their Harvestable Plant DR yet.)
21: Swordfighting mod by CyrusBanefort
En garde! This mod is so freaking epic!
One thing I've noticed is that the game lags while it waits for the mod to boot up (a message has to first pop up saying it's running when you first launch your saves). But other than that this mod is excellent.
22 - 24: Yoga rugs
I've long been using the yoga rugs by Kitabalibar and the edited one from @mspoodle1. But now there's the newest one by @twinsimming, with brand new animations & features. The more the merrier I say, LOL. What's especially neat is the kids wobbling around as they try to do yoga! :3
25 - 30: TheSweetSimmer's mods--so cute! :3
Omg so frikkin many, I can't even catch up! The interactions are so freaking precious, like from the More Toddler Interactions (cuddle, look at, etc) & Biggest Little Mod (hug legs), I've never had so much fun playing with kids! <3 And I LOVE that they can Catch Butterflies and Pick Flowers--you'd think plantsim children would be able to do this by default, EA! Honestly, just grab everything by TSS, your kid sims will thank you!
31 - 33: @spheresims Medieval/Nature/Tribal mods
Y'all know I'm crazy about the Functional Fireplaces mod (the cauldrons, baby! đ), but the One with Nature and Wildlife Hunting mods are great too, perfectly complimenting the off-the-grid realness.
34: @olomayasims/Cmomoney Smoking Mod Overhaul
The original smoking mod was on my first Top 50 list, so it's awesome seeing it get new upgrades, interactions & animations.
I've never smoked IRL, but sooooo many of my sims just puff-puff away; I'm such an enabler. U_U Now all we need is cigars and pipes!
35 - 38: Callia-Evergreen/Camkitty's CAS CC for animal hybrids at MTS
Not a "mod" per se, but whatever--my list my rules! I love ALL of their CC, but I get SO MUCH use out of animal-themed CC like the digitigrade sliders, wolf feet, lizard tails, and fae wings. Do check them out if you like to play with horror and monster-sims!
39: @greenplumbboblover's Sheep
EASILY one of the most incredible mods I've ever seen. Like....HOW? (Once @omedapixel's Goats are done I'm gonna start screaming someone do llamas pleeeeeaaaaase!!!)
40: Arsil's musical instruments mod
I used the sax most recently in my IWTV gameplay, and it was excellent, perfect for the NOLA vibes! However, although I use the flute A LOT more (for my Untamed gameplay--it's been such a GODSEND!), I really wish the hands were positioned better, preferably using the poses from Chisims' flute poseset. (But I don't eff with poses/animations, otherwise I'd do it myself. U_U) Ah well, it's still one of my fave mods though.
41 - 42: Flower Arranging mod by zoe22 + @mspoodle1's Florist Collection
Guys, I've been wanting this mod since FOREVER! ^0^ (I swear, the best thing about TS4 is all the 4t3 conversions, LMAO!) I just wish Teens could Dabble and use it, too--all they can do is stock the table.
43: Just Sit/Nap Anywhere by FloTheory
Sometimes you just want sims to fall asleep anywhere, DANG, EA!
44: @sweetdevil-sims' Toddler Food DR
Cuz EA's food is UUUUUUUUGLY~! I kept forgetting to install it, only to be rudely reminded every time I had to look at my toddler sims eating MUD.
45 - 46: @mspoodle1's mail pen quill DR and @omedapixel's pencil quill DR
I looooove quill pens IRL (ballpoint pens, not the fountain pens--I'm way too messy), so having mods that let my sims use them too is đ
47: Fireflies Enhanced! by Canibal_MLO
I love anything that enhances the wildlife and collectibles/harvestables to be more dynamic and interactive. And I was JUST about to do a firefly catching scene for my IWTV insp. gameplay, so this came right on time! The falling leaves effect is delightful, but I kinda wish it was falling flower petals instead, cuz ofc I do. đž
48: Unicorn Aurora DR by Canibal_MLO
GORGEOUS. This mod replaces the unicorn mist with northern lights, like.... I love the genius ideas simmers have.
49: Custom Plumbbob Color tool by CrossTheMersey
What a neat idea! Although the default Maxis colors are ingrained in my psyche, with the iconic green plumbbob, as soon as I saw this mod I knew I wanted to at least try something different and play around with it.
50: @aa6x7's Teru Teru Bozu + other edits [Honorable Mention]
I rave about Cmomoney's Time/Weather Mod all the time, I use it constantly. AA6x7's Teru Teru Bozu (Japanese "Sunshine Monk" charms) is kinda like a simpler version of it, as it just resets bad weather back to Sunny. But it's such a cute idea and perfect for my gameplay. Plus, AA6x7 makes all kinds of neat edits/mods to EA's bulky AF meshes, so if you haven't checked them out already, DO!
And that's all the mods I've managed to try out recently!
I don't have anywhere near the kind of free time that I used to, so my simming has been put on the backburner and I've missed all kinds of cool and exciting releases. But trust: I am taking note, so that I know what to try once I have time.
All my deepest & sincerest gratitude & love to the entire sims community, for keeping The Sims 3 going--this year was the 14th anniversary! Here's to 14 more! đ„ł Happy Simming!
#simblr#sims 3 mods#sims 3 content list#the sims 3#sims 3 medieval#sims 3 fantasy#sims 3 supernatural#EA you suck
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Okay but see I'm so petty I would ignore vio forever now until he apologized that man needs to get on his mf knees if he even wanted me to look his damn direction fr
the promised continuation of the vio angstđ„° i didn't screenshot all the asks requesting for it bc then this would just be a very long post of nonnies slowly cursing vio out more and more violently with each pic ahaha (which i love tbhđ©đ) but know that i've read each and every single oneđ„șđ©· i wrote this one in his third-person limited so there's a bit more insight into his thoughtsââ
(that being said, there isn't much grovelling and his asking for your forgiveness here which i'm really sorry abt. i did try to go that route originally to align w/ some of the requests i've gotten, but vio actually just isn't the type. at least at the point in the relationship being depicted!! gotta keep in mind he is super arrogant and has probably never apologised once in his lifeđđ tho, he is suffering in his own way, rest assured. the silent treatment kinda broke him haha)
warning that there is a bit of violence here and gaslighting (??), ig just typically what you'd expect to see in a yandere work,, this really ran away from me bc it's like 800 wordsđ
Three days had passed. Vio sat inside his trailer, feet up on the dressing table, more annoyed than heâd ever been in his entire life. Blue hair in his reflection, mussed from his constant ruffling, looking unkempt and barely like himself â and it was all your fault. His agency was paying you a salary in five figures and your only job was to take care of him, which inherently, you were doing, but you were also ignoring him and Vio couldnât stand it.
His eyes flicked over almost instantly when you walked in, tracking every movement from your shutting the door to hanging your coat over the back of the closest chair. All Vio could see were the snowflakes in your lashes because that was all youâd let him, your gaze downcast, avoiding his. Pride made him bite his lips, because actually, he fucking missed the way youâd look at him. He missed your voice and he missed your pretty words, and it was all lumping in his throat so he couldnât admit it although he wanted to.
Something weak sounded from him; a desperate grab for your attention that didnât work. He kicked his script to the floor knowing youâd pick it up, then watched with a clenched jaw as you did exactly that, not even a fleeting glare in his direction. Somehow, Vio felt like he was running out of time, papers placed back neatly and your back already turning, it was the curl of worry in his gut that had his hand snapping to your wrist and tugging you back to him.
âYou,â he gritted, frustrated at the pull back, at your resistance â no, your refusal of him. âDonât fucking ignore me!â
Clearly, you werenât listening, for all that Vio wrested you into his lap, your eyes wouldnât even meet his through the mirror. Your bones solid against his palm, and he squeezed, hard enough to take you in, to let out the anger. Though, watching your face twist in pain, tendons in your neck constricting just to cut off the whimper, Vio didnât even know who to be mad at anymore.Â
All he wanted was for you to give in.Â
Heâd missed you so much, he would dream of you saying his name again. As you always would, and give him that love he was addicted to â yours, that tasted like kisses to open flesh. Raw and sincere to the point that Vio would rather stay splayed and bloodied instead of getting help. He didnât feel like he could come back from this, or who heâd become because of you. If he was falling from grace, heâd hale you with him.
âY/NâŠâ This time, it came as a whisper, erratic mind lulled quick to the sensation of your pulse pressing firm against his fingers. Counting throbs, taking breaths for you, telling himself to be kinder, kinder. âTalk to me,â his forehead rested on your shoulder blade, âletâs not do this anymore, hm?â
Gentility got a rise out of you, it seemed, in the form of a gasp and the violent twists to free yourself that followed. âDonât you dare,â your tone was accusatory, yet when Vio leaned away he saw the tell in your tears, âyouâre not allowed to act fucking civil after what you did.â
His brow twitched. Irritation. He didnât have a clue what you were talking about. Either way, acting was already his whole career â it might as well have been his entire damn life, and he wasnât going to be reminded. If you werenât a director and he wasnât the star of your show, he didnât need you telling him what he could and couldnât do. His grip on you tightened.
âI didnât do anything,â he hissed.
Outside it had begun to rain, heavy droplets melting the sleet from the windows. Steady patters the furthest thing from therapeutic in his current headspace, Vio almost missed your broken, âliar.â
Knocking his knee to white wood had the make-up brush holder tipping, contents rolling around, more noise buzzing in his head as he adjusted you. Finally, you were forced to focus on him, and Vio's eyes were unblinking, boring into yours. âYouâre making baseless accusations.âÂ
âYou told me no one would love someone like me.â
âI asked you who could,â Vio bit back instantly, then, his voice softened, â...and the answer is me.â
Purple dotted into red when he let you go, wiping at your wet face. Speckled like poison in a garden of roses â what he was to you, and what you were to him. Vio thought it was fitting, beauty in that you were both to die of each other. His incurable illness. His darling disease. You shouldnât have gotten so close to that gaffer.
âOnly I can. Only I am allowed. Remember that, and love me in turn.â
#lovenotesfromdar#Darâs VIO#yandere x reader#x reader#gn reader#yandere oc#oc#my ocs#reader insert#male yandere#male oc#yan x reader#yandere#yandere male#yandere boy#yandere headcanons#gender neutral reader#yandere oc x reader#yandere x darling#yandere bf#yandere imagines#yandere original character#yandere thoughts#yandere x y/n#yandere x you#dom gn reader#dom reader#sub yandere#yandere angst
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sweet nothing âą 8
| in which you run into an old costumer |
âł Description: being a guest at the Jeon Estate after a mishap of being kidnapped and dragged into your brothers affairs isnât all that bad. Truth be told it brings you a lot closer to the mobster and owner of the estate Jeon Jungkook himself.
His two rules are simple, donât cause trouble and donât give him a hard time. Somehow you manage to constantly do both in the most endearing way despite being pregnant and waddling around most of the time.
Pairing: Jungkook/reader, ???/reader
âł Genre: slice of life AU, mafia!AU, pregnancy, thereâs likeâŠa little bit of a plot but not a lot, future smut? maybe? it's very domestic!
Word count: 3k
Previous | Next
Note: just know that the only reason these updates take so long is because I keep writing plot based chapters and I really just wanna post fluff based chapters đ
âThank you for taking me out!â You grinned as you took a large sip of your hot chocolate, it was still definitely not cold enough for it yet but you didnât care.
Something about hitting your third trimester had you wanting to nest like crazy, it had you going around the estate cleaning and getting guards to help move furniture around.
You really had no right to be doing it but nobody told you otherwise.
Jungkook had come back midday, surprisingly early, he had paused in the entry hall of his home locking eyes with the pregnant menace that had abruptly put herself at the forefront of his life once again.
It was then he realized you definitely needed to get out of the estate.
âIf it keeps you from not moving all my stuff around,â He shrugged, leaning back in his seat, eyes flickering from his phone to you.
You frowned, âIâm sorry, I donât even know what possessed me.â You sighed, âWell I do, they say third trimester can make you start nesting.â
âNesting?â
You glared are the way he snorted as if not believing you, âItâs a fact, you can look it up.â
âThe fuck is that even supposed to be? What are you, a bird?â
âIt means you just get the innate urge to justâŠâ you puffed your cheeks, ignoring that look he was giving you, âClean and decorate and justâŠI donât know I canât describe it! Just wish I had my own place to do that with and prepare for the baby.â
Jungkook sighed, his eyes went from looking at you to dropping down to your stomach, it was round when you had first come to the estate, but it was evident six weeks had passed, âThen maybe itâs time we talk about a nursery.â
You paused, getting ready to take another drink from your cup but it never meets to your lips.
Jungkook sighed, âI know you donât wanna talk about it, but finding your brother has quite literally lead me to dead ends I didnât even think would exist. Youâre almost thirty weeks pregnant, thatâs less than three months.â
âOkay yeah I can do basic math, but itâs already been almost two months. Surely it wonât take another two months to find him,â You pressed your lips together nervously.
âWould it be so terrible if you gave birth in the estate? Itâll probably be a better experience than the hospital.â Jungkook commented, picking up his coffee as he took a sip.
It wasnât that you were against giving birth in the estate, professional staff in the comforts of a bed? That was a luxury every woman could only dream of having, it was more the aftermath of it.
The idea of still living at the estate post pregnancyâŠit was a dangerous thought, it was too close to the life you had once wanted with Jungkook.
You just werenât sure how to articulate that too him.
Jungkook finally raised a brow at you, noticing your lack of reply.
âI justâŠdonât want to get too comfortable at the estate.â You finally spoke carefully, âI don't think that's good for anybody involved.â
âI understand but I also donât like being unprepared- in any aspect concerning me or my estate, and that includes you whether you want it or not.â Jungkook replied, âJust because a nursery is there doesnât mean itâll ever be used, itâll just be there so first of all, you stop moving all my shit and you have a place to do your bird stuff-â
âNesting.â You glared, lips quirking into a pout as your hands wrapped around your stomach.
Jungkookâs lips curved a little, âBird stuff. And second, if it does turn out that your stay is extended, itâll be ready.â
You still werenât completely sold on the idea, if anything you felt like it would just feed into the delusion even further.
âWhy hello there mama.â Another voice suddenly cut in, grabbing a chair from the empty table next to you both and plopping it on the side of your table.
Jungkook immediately straightened up, eyes glaring daggers that could definitely kill, âWhat the fuck are you doing here?â
âYoongi!â
The man brushed his black hair from his eyes a quirky smirk on his face as he shrugged, âUh Iâm just stopping in to say hello to my favorite barista who got put on bed rest early.â
A smile twisted on your lips, you were familiar with his face, he had been a regular for almost two years, the realization however quickly hit that Jungkook was very acquainted with this man.
You felt flabbergasted for a moment, you couldnât believe you never made the connection that the regular customer Yoongi was also Underboss business partner Yoongi.
âItâs nice to see you again Yoongi! I can't believe I didnât recognize you as Jungkookâs partnerâŠâ You sheepishly smiled.
Jungkook clearly didnât share the same sentiment, his nostrils flared and he looked ready to maul his partner.
âNah probably for the best you didnât realize. You as well, you look only a thousand times prettier, have that pregnancy glow about you.â Yoongi threw your a wink.
Jungkook wasnât sure what made him more violent, the fact that you both were already well acquainted or Yoongi so casually flirting with you.
It was part of his personality but it still didnât make any attention he or any other male gave you, any easier for Jungkook to witness.
âIf you arenât here for business, get the fuck away from our table.â Jungkook gritted his teeth, as if it took every fiber of his being to not right hook.
Yoongi didnât seem phased, âOh I was just in the area, been coming to Serendipity for a long while now, and then I suddenly see my favorite barista whoâs been gone for two months, of course I have have to say hello.â
âOkay well you said hello, now go the fuck away.â
âJungkook!â You said sternly, âDonât be so stubborn, Yoongi can sit with us for a few minutes at least.â
His eyes were a raging fire as they burned into you, his chest puffing but he said no more as Yoongi observed you both, a smirk on his face as he leaned back in his chair.
âHow are you enjoying the estate Y/n?â
You smiled tenderly, âThe company makes it honestly, I donât know what Iâd do without Jungkook and Yeonjun.â
âYeonjun?â Jungkook looked like he sucked on a sour lemon as he spat the name out.
âI still want my apartment back but Iâve made the most of the it. What about you? Why havenât you come to visit if you knew where I was?â You asked, curious as to what the man had been up too.
Yoongiâs gaze flickered to Jungkook, âWellâŠletâs just say I was asked to not drop by unless it was absolutely necessary.â
âAnd it isnât.â Jungkook gritted.
âOkay well first of all this doesnât count cause weâre not at the estate, second of all youâre not the only one who has relations to Y/n, I mean have you ever had this womanâs chai? Or her baked cinnamon rolls? Talented hands right there.â Yoongi stretched out in his seat, that playful nature about him.
âOh donât flatter me.â You shooed his praise.
âNo you deserve all the praise in the world, in fact you deserve-â
âWeâre going.â Jungkook stood up from his seat, sick of this if he had to hear one more word come out of his stupid partners mouth.
âJungkook!â You complained, but nevertheless took his hand when he offered it, âPlease visit Yoongi, youâre conversation is always welcomed.â
Yoongi only smiled, sunk into his seat as he watched the tall broody figure practically drag you away, it made him laugh in amusement.
Yoongi by no means kept an eye on you the last two years for his own benefit, but he supposed somethings would always remain thankless.
He had accomplished what he wanted though, evidently no matter how much Jungkook talked- and he talked a lot, it was clear he had grown possessive over you in the last few months.
Yoongi shook his head in amusement, watching the viper leave the parking lot through the window, he was happy to see that old spark in his partner return.
âWhat was that about!â You complained, immediately dialing the heat down to sixty in the car.
âYou shouldnât be talking to him,â Jungkook grumbled, hands gripping the steer wheel as if he was trying to strangle it, âIf you care about your babyâs safety youâll make an active effort to not talk to him.â
âHes been one of my regulars for like two years,â you complained, âHow was I supposed to know he was your partner? I never even officially met him! What makes him anymore dangerous then you? Hm?â
Jungkook deflated, obviously not having a good reason, âThe difference is Iâm protecting you.â
âOh so youâre saying he wouldnât?â
âThe point,â Jungkook gritted his teeth in annoyance, âIs donât talk to him.â
You frowned as you twisted to fully look at Jungkook, was heâŠjealous?
âAre you mad that Iâm paying attention to someone else?â You asked upfront, you could only be discreet about so many things.
âIâm not madâ.
âNo youâre definitely mad.â You replied pointedly.
âIâm annoyed that my business partner is talking to me outside of business.â Jungkook replied.
âBut he was talking to me, not you.â You crossed your arms.
âHe was doing that on purpose.â Jungkook huffed.
It was silent for a long moment as you folded your hands into your lap.
Of course you didnât have to point it out, but truthfully it felt too ridiculous to not? âAre you jealous?â
âNo.â
There was another pause.
âWhy would I be jealous?â
âYou tell me,â you replied, a pout on your lips, âYou always do this when someone talks to me, men specifically.â
âDo you actually want an honest answer?â Jungkook looked even more annoyed, even so much as throwing you a frosty glance before his eyes returned to the road.
You blinked before a troubled frown slowly curved on your lips, you could think of several ways heâd be honest and none of them youâd be able to fully believe.
âWhat I want,â you took a breath, âIs to be able to have a conversation without you looking like youâre shooting daggers out of your eyes.â
âI wasnât shooting daggers out of my eyes.â
You puffed your cheeks, âWell you claim you donât do a lot of things, that you do in fact, do.â
âHow about we just stop talking.â Jungkook replied.
You pouted but spoke no more as you yawned.
âDo you wanna go home?â
You nodded with a small groan, âYeah, I need to take a nap,â you nodded with another yawn.
Jungkook only nodded in return, eyes occasionally glancing at you, attempting to sleep in the car, when did his life start revolving around you this much?
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