#also if i’m being honest: since it’s a netflix original

[katkafe]

i have to be so honest i don’t understand the xavier hate. i get why people don’t really like the love triangle, but i just cant help but appreciate it?

i personally wanted an aroace wednesday and i still feel like i got it. not all aspec people are completely anti-romance and sex repulsed; many, such as myself, do experience romantic/sexual attraction. it’s a spectrum for a reason.

can’t wenclair also be seen as part of a love triangle? i like the idea of wednesday and enid, and i like the idea of wednesday and xavier, (i won’t get into the whole tyler thing rn, but i don’t see them together at all, sorry) but why can’t it be one of those AND an aspec wednesday? truthfully there is nothing better to me than an aroace person in a love triangle.

i cant say fs which i would prefer she end up with but i would not really have a complaint either way! whether she’s with enid or xavier or no one, i will feel satisfied!! both characters are good matches for her, (and even so, a show with teenage characters that aren’t obsessed with dating would be so refreshing!! and if you found xavier kinda bland: remember the show is from wednesday’s pov: in her eyes, xavier is pretty boring, and enid is WAY too much. i think we probably missed out on a lot of their traits bc of wednesday’s black-and-white filter. based on the finale, season 2 probably won’t have this filter as much, as we can see wednesday’s views and ideas of her friends changing, we’ll hopefully get to see more of them under the surface. then it also might be easier for me to decide who i ship her with lmao)

fingers crossed for season 2!!

[burst-of-iridescent]

atla live action thoughts: episodes 3 & 4

SPOILERS AHEAD

tw: opinions

things i liked:

jet, you beautiful, beautiful man. had me twirling my hair and kicking my feet fr i NEED this show to get a season 2 just so i can see more of him in the ba sing se arc please netflix

but looks aside, sebastian amoruso DELIVERED on the performance. the softness, the vulnerability, the charm, the intelligence, yet also the ruthlessness beneath it all? KILLED IT.

the moment between him and katara where he tells her to remember her mother as she was alive and not just her death was absolutely lovely. “remember the sunrise” made me very emotional

on that note, can’t believe jetara fake marriage is canon now lmao

i am SO here for desi omashu. i love the vibe and aesthetic of the city and again the visuals are STUNNING. live action repping the south asians better than the original ever did i’ll be honest

shameless fan service but “MY CABBAGES” being so fucking dramatic had me dying

of all the things i expected from the atla live action, secret tunnel and omashu being lesbians wasn’t even on the list but i’m not mad. hilarious that they turned the cave of two lovers into the cave of two platonic siblings though

jet, omashu and northern air temple arcs actually meshed together better than i thought. the NAT episode never sat well with me in the original so i’m glad they moved them to omashu instead.

the freedom fighters were RIGHT OUT OF THE ANIMATION. casting directors absolutely killed

love that they showed resistance movements within the fire nation and azula being part of rooting them out. it’s a nice nod to the deserter, since i’m guessing they’re not including that episode

really glad to see that the atla live action is following the tradition of having weirdly unnecessary zutara crumbs in every iteration of the story because what in the om shanti om was that zutara scarf moment. 10/10 no notes

having one of the earthbenders transporting iroh be angry over losing a loved one because of iroh’s siege of ba sing se was a really great change. i’ve always thought the original glossed over the true extent of the damage iroh did, so having him come face to face with what he’d done in the past was a great way to add some complexity

“how dare you beat up that child!” everyone go home seeing zuko being beat up by a random old lady is the highlight of this series. really love that they were just running around throwing things at each other that was major book 1 zuko/aang fight energy lmao

SECRET TUNNELLLLLLLL

leaves from the vine instrumental was 100% to inflict emotional damage and it fucking worked. the scene between zuko and iroh at lu ten’s funeral was so beautiful & then to have it flipped around at the end when iroh says “everything i need is on this boat”… fuck you for this netflix i didn’t need these tears today

things i disliked/am conflicted about:

not a fan of what they’re doing with katara’s character. they’re toning down a lot of her rage and fierceness, and boiling her down to “trauma over mother’s death.” in the original katara didn’t freeze jet and splash water at him because he tried to fight her, she did it because she was hurt and pissed off! there’s no way animated katara would’ve just run away from jet without sending a water whip at his face first. i’m concerned for how the pakku fight is gonna go tbh

bumi my guy, what did they do to you 💀 this series seems hellbent on having everyone remind aang that he ran away which doesn’t work when a) you already changed aang actively running away to him just going off for a break and b) you’ve made that point! the original omashu episode was about bumi teaching aang to look at the world differently, here it just weirdly feels as though he’s punishing aang by venting all his anger and despair on him?? that’s NOT what animated bumi was like & they didn’t even have the two of them go sliding down the delivery system in the flashbacks so adding it in at the end felt very out of nowhere. they didn’t even genuinely seem to be FRIENDS

having aang immediately figure out it was bumi was… sigh. can we please not do the thing where characters already know everything it’s giving me trauma flashbacks to the percy jackson show

jet’s plan feels more reasonable here than it did in the original. i get they’re trying to show that he didn’t care about the collateral damage to innocent people and that’s bad, but idk him wiping out an entire town unilaterally felt more extreme than a few bombings.

heavily dislike what they’ve done with zhao. i know they’re trying to show him clawing his way to power but that’s more of a long feng move than a ZHAO move. it’s important that zhao always holds more power than zuko and that he has an overinflated sense of ego from the start for him to fulfil his narrative purpose of serving as a warning to zuko of what he might become.

i like seeing mailee but why are they in this show? it feels as though they’re cardboard cutouts there for fan service instead of being actual characters

overall i liked these episodes better than the previous two & i do enjoy how action-packed and visually pleasing the show has been so far.

overall rating: 8/10 for episode 3, 7/10 for episode 4

[thecrystalkid]

what is your opinion on the tdc Netflix show?

i haven’t posted in a billion years but HII thanks for the ask!!!

it’s been a hot minute since i’ve rewatched the show, so it’s far from being fresh in my mind, and i’m of course not an expert on it. all the same, i still have a lot of thoughts and opinions* on it (*some of these might be a lil controversial as far as the TDCAOR fandom goes but i’m not trying to attack or criticize anyone for enjoying anything in this show, go in peace, ily❤️)

the show itself

to be honest, AOR has never been my favorite installment in the TDC franchise. i’m very attached to the original movie and jen and kira, so i think the obvious absence of them in the show may have played a part in that

but this^^ has nothing to do with the fact that the show is an objective masterpiece of artistry. it’s overwhelming how immersive and beautiful every inch of the environment is within thra, and whatever the creative team and everyone involved with the making of the show were paid, it’s not enough.

the design and craft of the gelfling is another thing i’m obsessed with, i loved the distinctive fashion and presentation of every clan (especially drenchen i love u drenchen) and just the sheer quality of every individual puppet. there’s something so uncanny and beautiful about the realistic skin, hair, and eyes of the gelfling, each one is so mesmerizing to watch.

sadly, i’ve always kind of disliked the overall voice-acting of the show. i love taron egerton, anya taylor-joy, etc. as much as the next person, but personally, their voices seemed so detached from their characters, which i think could be partially attributed to the fact that several of the actors are not professional voice actors

i’m beating the very dead horse here but i’m never not devastated that the show was cancelled when it was. it may not have been my favorite installment in TDC but not knowing what ultimately became of deet haunts me forever and always

not a day goes by that i’m not sad that lisa maxwell (kira’s voice actor) didn’t do the opening narration for the show. i didn’t even know that was a possibility until i listened to a podcast episode about it and found out lisa was originally going to do it. i still love sigourney weaver but like come on.

characters n in-universe stuff

one thing i love about the show is how many sibling relationships it explores. as someone with older sisters i obviously am a sucker for the dynamic between brea, tavra, and seladon. i always love seeing an absolute gutpunch soul-crushing diabolical sister relationship in media, the mirroring each other, bringing out the best and worst of each other, i love it it’s terrible. also gurjin and naia, i’m also a sucker for comedic siblings

i really really hate to say it but i’m not a fan of rian and deet as a romantic pairing. i just never really felt any chemistry between the two of them, and the fact that their whole thing started so shortly after the death of mira has always personally rubbed me the wrong way. obviously i’m not here to beat up stonegrot enjoyers, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the pairing or people who enjoy it, it’s just not for me. i love and am happy for stonegrot folk, god bless <3

augh you know what pairing i do like though is brea and kylan, this whole post could be about them. idk, i know it’s one of those things where they barely have any interaction with each other but i always die at kylan’s little “and brea!” when they’re rescuing them all, and i would’ve DIED for an interaction between them where they discover they both can read

i do also really love how the show explored the skeksis and mystics being two halves of the same whole, and how that relationship can differ. it’s one of the most interesting concepts from the og movie and i’m glad it was expanded upon

i’m sure this may have been being saved for a possible continuation of the show but i would’ve loved a deeper look at each individual gelfling clan, like a really detailed thorough episode(s) about the life/history of each clan (dousan especially i feel like they were skimped on the most)

i, like many, am obsessed with aughra, and i love that she played such a major role in the show. i love how they showcased her maternal role and connection to the gelfling and thra, whilst always keeping her stern, choppy personality present

this is just my conspiracy theory but on the subject of who jen and kira’s respective parents are, i choose to imagine it’s not anyone in the AOR cast and just some other gelfling we never/haven’t met

wow that was a lot of yapping but again thanks for the ask!! i love being able to just dump all my thoughts into one place, it’s always very fun! 

[stranger-fanfiction-n-things]

CHAPTER 2: THE WEIRDO ON MAPLE STREET

This is an Original Character fanfiction. All Stranger Things characters and content are owned by Netflix and The Duffer Brothers.

a/n: I love writing about the Sinclair Family. In my opinion, on the show, you don't really know about them so I'm creating what I think they're like in my head.

Warnings: None.

Word Count: 1140

Masterlist

PART I || PART II

Tuesday November 8, 1983 - SINCLAIR RESIDENCE

I stroll down the stairs to the kitchen; nose deep into the flash cards I made last night for Kaminsky’s test. I am certain I will pass his test today. Once Lucas was inside, I continued to study well into the night and went to bed dreaming of molecules and the periodic table. I sit in my usual seat, setting the flash cards down. Mom is humming to herself while packing our lunches for the day and Dad is in the living room shuffling through his treasured record collection. Dad holds The Jacksons Destiny record in his hands, sliding the shiny vinyl out the pocket, he carefully places it on the turntable, turning the arm to drop the stylus. “Blame it on the Boogie” plays through the speakers. 

I bop my head to the rhythm arrangements. The Jacksons Destiny album is one of Lucas’ favourites. The smell of the chocolate chip pancakes stacked on a plate on the table are fluffy and thick. Another favourite of Lucas. I didn’t know Erica and Lucas came downstairs until I hear the chair beside me scrape across the floor. I smile at Erica who nods her head in acknowledgment.

“Good morning,” Lucas says quietly, pulling his chair out to sit. 

“Good morning, sweetheart.” 

“Morning, Lucas.” 

Mom and Dad say at the same time. The silence is awkward in the kitchen, despite “Push Me Away” playing softly in the other room. Mom walks to Lucas, kissing the top of his head. Lucas doesn’t squirm away like he usually does when she dotes on him, instead he leans into her touch. My heart swells. Dad clears his throat, sitting in his chair. He reaches for the newspaper on the table and begins to read but I don’t miss his eyes glancing at Lucas in between words. When Mom sits down, we all begin to help ourselves to food. Mom puts two chocolate chip pancakes on Lucas’s plate. 

“Thanks, mom.” Lucas says with a small smile. 

To my surprise, Erica hands Lucas the maple syrup which he accepts graciously. I feel like I am in a different universe this morning and everything is upside down. Our attempts of being discreet are poor, but thankfully Lucas doesn’t say anything about it. He seems grateful for our efforts. Like dinner last night, breakfast is quiet. Dad sips his coffee, Mom is neatly cutting her pancakes, Erica is eating in silence. All of us are watching Lucas, waiting for a slight wrinkle in his brow, a pout on his lips, a long sigh. Any sign of discomfort. But surprisingly, there is none. 

“How are the pancakes, sweetheart?” Mom asks, eyes hopeful. 

“They’re really good, mom. Thank you.” 

“Do you want more milk?” 

“No, thank you.” 

“Okay,” Mom says, deflating a little. “If you need anything, I’m here.” 

Dad gives her a look that implies she’s laying it on real thick. Mom stares at him back and Dad backs down returning to his newspaper. I bite my lip to suppress my smile. 

“I’m fine, mom, honest.” Lucas placates, gently. “I promise.” He looks at everyone at the table. 

“I heard from the Dreydon’s next door that there will be another neighbourhood watch for Will at 10. I’m going to join after I drop your sisters to school.” Mom replies. 

It’s been one full day since Will’s disappearance and the whole town was under careful instructions to avoid going outside at night. Half the town volunteered for the search party to find Will which meant The Academy will be closed until further notice. Dad shifts in his seat. I overheard him talking to Mom about the search for Will last night. They didn’t find anything. Hopefully, Mom comes back this afternoon with better news. 

“I’m also going to stop by Joyce to check on her.”

“Are you going to bring anything?” I ask, cutting into my pancake, chocolate oozes out the centre. 

“I wanted to bring flowers, but it seems…inappropriate.” Because Will isn’t dead.

“How about cookies?” I offer. “Chocolate chip is the easiest to make and I know they’re Miss Byers favourite.” 

“That’s a great idea, sweetheart. Though I don’t think I have enough flour to bake enough.” 

I cringe, smiling apologetically. I’m the baking enthusiast in the family. Last week I made gingerbread cupcakes with cream cheese frosting for Nancy, Barb and I for the sleepover at Barbs house. I completely forgot to tell Mom I used most of the flour. 

“Sorry.” 

“I’ll go to the store before the search party and buy a couple of bags. Did anyone want anything?” 

“Skittles.” Erica and I say at the same time. 

“Lucas?” 

“Can you get strawberry ice cream?” 

Mom smiles, touching his cheek. “Of course, sweetie.” She looks at Dad who is now sipping his coffee while reading the newspaper. “And you?” 

“I’m good. I don’t want anything.”

Mom arches her brow. “When I buy our children their snacks, I better not see you anywhere near them.” 

“I don’t eat our children’s snacks.”

“Charles.” 

“Honey.” Dad replies in the same singsong tone.

Erica, Lucas and I smile at each other. Dad has a sweet tooth. He’ll deny it any time you bring it up, even if we catch him in the act. Mom hides the cookie jar from Dad, only Lucas, Erica and I know where it is. Though sometimes I see Dad with a couple in his hand when he’s watching television, but it’s always when Mom isn’t around. I secretly think, Erica is sneaking him cookies or he found the hiding spot and pretends not to know. 

“You and everyone at this table know that is a bold face lie. You think I don’t know you bribed my child with a doll in exchange for her to tell you where I hid the cookie jar?” 

Dad huffs, shaking his head. “I did not bribe Erica, I simply asked her what she wanted and she just so happened to tell me where the cookie jar is.” 

Erica nods her head in agreement. Dad avoids Mom’s stare, which is hard to do when you’re under it. Her stare can cut through glass. Dad clears his throat and looks at me. From the corner of my eye, I see Mom reach over to Erica and lightly pinch her nose. 

“You ready for the test today?” Dad asks me, changing the topic. 

I nod my head, trailing a finger up and down the edges of the stack of flash cards.  “Yes, but I’m still nervous Mr. Kaminsky will have tricky questions and I’ll sike myself out.” 

“Just remember to take your time and you’ll do great.”

“I’ll try.” I respond. 

“That’s all I ask."

“Unless it involves cookies.” Mom mutters above her tea cup. 

Even Dad can’t hold back his smile when we all laugh. 

NEXT -> PART II

[yosajaeofficial]

JULY UPDATE

Hey hey hey! Welcome back to the show, “The Monthly Jayce Myles Comics Updates!” Where I give obvious monthly updates to my followers about the progress for the hit series that hasn’t debuted yet, “ROTTMNT: The Jayce Myles Comics”! Sorry I haven’t posted this month, I was hella busy with college applications and other projects, but I’m delighted to get back into these updates.

Without further ado, let’s get the show running! I have some fun things to show ya!!!

The Comic

(W.I.P OF THE OFFICIAL DEBUT COMIC)

The month was way too quick for my own good, the comic’s slow. Again, I was busy applying to college and doing other side projects I’m working on. I’m gonna be attending college next month so the comic will have its hardships but I really wanna pursue my education as well, but the updates shall continue like always with all of its fun content! Anyways, the comic: the debut has 20+ pages and my god it’s just insane on how many there are when I’m not even halfway there. I’m impressed with how many pages go by just to tell the story, older pages will be fixed up so it either might be reduced or even more but that’s for future Jae to decide; I’m learning as I go! It’s also better that I show instead of say that I’m just “working on it” since it’s easy to lie to be honest.

The turtles haven’t been seen since I haven’t got to drawing their introductions yet, I’m gonna shart in my pants because I’m scared but I’m literally an artist doing a comic so I gotta do them sooner than later. Maybe the next update you’ll see them? Don’t hold me too much onto that but it might be a cute goal to set, let me know what happened when the August update comes!

Jayce is so silly with her coat huh? She’s just a girl giving it her best, even if they thrift at the worst shop known to man (they’re gonna learn someday…) We also got Rogelio and Jayce being all cool together, I was proud of that page when first sketching it out. They both are so sweet to draw out, hope to see their finalized pages to see their true potential!

Bonus Content: Hidden City Mystical Crystals

Silly reader, you’re scratching your nose and thinking, “what am I looking at?” You’re in luck! Cuz these babies are actually additional parts about the Hidden City’s lore/magic system. Magic system? Yes, a magic system. The Jayce Myles Comics is going beyond the original canon of Rise and creating many more original concepts and combining it with what was given by the canon. I wanted to show off more of the mystics from yokai because their potential was so much cooler to finally explore when drafting the ideas.

The Hidden City’s magic system is based off of the elements, not too complicated, but has some different rules when compared to other executions of the elemental magic system. That’s for another day, I’m only gonna talk about the crystals and show what they can do. You can reference this update and look into the JMC with this cool bit of knowledge! Let’s get started >:3

Origins of the Mystical Crystals

These crystals were created based off of industrial flaws people have faced. Basically, I learned about the 1920s construction workers and their working conditions where it made me think “what would the have wished for when they worked?” I referenced from real people, history books, and my own personal experiences to create functions, and help base the crystals off of what I came up with.

The Netflix show, “Arcane” was a great inspiration to combine mystics with technology, the brand was called “Hextech” and it’s system was hella cool to me and it helped a lot when I was working on the crystal’s concepts. The mystical crystals are meant to be used as “tools to help the magic user”, where they can enhance their power, gain a temporary ability, create spells, or use in technology.

The names of them are based off of the Latin languages like, English, Italian, Spanish, and a hint of both Chinese and Korean if you squint really hard. I will go through each of the crystals in a vague manner for ya’ll to see what they can do!

Fire Magic

Fire magic is actually defined as: “The manipulation/manifestation of temperature” instead of just heat, it can be fire or ice.

LA HEILMAQ: The crystal is based off of quartz in visuals and has the glow like a moonstone! La Heilmaq is the crystal that’s used to help air conditioning in modern homes and create weapons. They’re the most natural crystal to use to create weapons since it’s form holds up so well, it’s as common as bronze in real life! They’re pretty cold to the touch, so be careful and don’t hold them for too long if you’re 1. not a fire magic user, or 2. not wearing gloves. These babies are used for more attacks than defense since they’re pretty deadly if you’ve been penetrated by the crystal itself.

EL HEILMAQ: This crystal is based off of colored glass from old alcohol bottles, tainted windows, and the power of friendship because this is the one that isn’t the most realistic looking since I made the shape up. It looks like the “BOOM!” shape for a reason~ El Heilmaq is the crystal which contains heat, it’s sealed by the actual gemstone itself so you’re able to touch with your bare hands without getting burned. The crystal can be used for restoring heat in homes, making artillery, and/or throwing them on the ground to create natural firecrackers. Most yokai use smaller bits of the crystal as distractions and the bigger pieces to help the industry by keeping their homes warm, they don’t need boiler rooms or to grab coal because El Heilmaq crystals can already do that for them without causing damage to nature.

The word Heilmaq was based off the English word “Hail” which is Ice, which is to hammer the idea that this isn’t just heat based. The word Maq is gibberish that's made to be another word for "kaboom", which brings more of the fire elements to the word itself.

Air Magic

Air magic is defined as, “The manipulation/manifestation of oxygen”!

LA SENYÁR: The crystal is based off of diamonds and emeralds! La Senyár is a crystal that helps give the air magic user more of a boost, they can crash the crystal and it gives them a boost of air so they can jump higher, dodge quicker, or just blow a gust of wind at the enemy. The crystal itself is used by technology to give it more flight, used in planes, cars, and even shoes! Yes, shoes can also have the crystal, it helps the bird yokai give them a boost to use their wings to fly. The word Senyár is a word based off of the Spanish word, “Soñar” that translates to “To Dream”; it was named this way because the way how the pressure of the air isn’t as powerful or dense, it’s like if you’re walking on clouds, it feels like a dream.

Water Magic

Water magic is defined as, “The manipulation/manifestation of water and health”

LA CANTÉM: The crystal is based off of pebbles found in rivers, ponds, and on rock beaches; there’s also influence by the topaz gemstone with it’s beautiful orange color. La Cantém is a healing crystal, where you’re able to use it on yourself to cool down injuries where it helps heal the wounds. It works both as a numbing solution and healing solution based on the water magic user. With these crystals, you always have to hydrate them in fresh water so the water can absorb into the crystal and used as energy; if it’s dehydrated, then the crystal’s will be weaker. The word Cantém is based off of the Spanish word, “Cantar” where it translates to, “To Sing”. It’s because singing can calm people down, and the crystal helps calm down the injured and lets the healing process go smoothly, it’s based off of my bestie where their singing really was like fresh water to my ears, a great inspiration for this crystal.

Earth Magic

Earth magic is defined as, “The manipulation/manifestation of nature”

EL TERÉM: The crystal is based off of an amethyst visually, and yes, inside there’s a different color! El Terém is the crystal that most fighters use in order to manipulate rocks/boulders, build stronger architecture, or create rock shields when you throw them on the floor. It’s mostly rock based but still hella good to use in battle as a defense mechanism, the rock that’s formed is sturdy too, not weak for it to break easily. Shredder would have no problems breaking it but that guy’s insane. The word Terém is inspired by the word "tear" or "contain", any interpretation rocks! (no pun intended)

Yin Magic

Yin magic is defined as, “The manipulation/manifestation of darkness”

MIE SIÑE: The crystal is based off of titanium black tourmaline and onyx. Mie Siñe is the crystal that contains shadows inside, depending on what the spell is, it either can produce shadows or fog. The usage for the crystal is much more unknown since Yin magic is banned from being used in Witchtown, but the crystal itself has been documented to be used to isolate the enemy when being used. It's also been used to cover the enemies eyes with darkness in order to distract them/become vulnerable sight wise. The word Siñe is a word based on the actual word "Sign" and "Sin", which holds a lot of significance into the story so I won't spoil.

Yang Magic

Yang magic is defined as, “The manipulation/manifestation of light”

MIE PIRE: This dear crystal is based off of the Italian onyx, magnesite, and calcite. Mie Pire is the crystal that contains light inside, any kind of light, it's not just sunlight. It's a bit more tricky and dangerous to use since you can blind yourself with it more easily, so it's also not as used. However, Yang magic is also banned like Yin, but there has still been technological uses for Mie Pire like using it as an alternative for electricity (which saves the bills!) and also used as lamps for more conservative places like Witchtown. The crystal has proved itself useful as a light source, but it can still be used as a defense mechanism by blinding the enemies eyes for a good second of even minute. The word Pire is based off of the word "Pure" which means that this crystal is very raw hence why it's dangerous. Another word it's inspired by is the Latin word "Pyra" which means "Bonfire". Both interpretations are used for this one!

The word Mie is based off of the actual Italian word "Mie" which means "My". It doesn't truly mean mine, because it's also inspired by the Spanish "Mira" that translates to "Look". It can be interpreted any way you want!

Thank you for coming to this lovely update! I've been working really hard to get the comic rolling and to also balance out my personal life with it, but I'm proud of how far I've come in the span of a year! Lots of progress has been made and it's getting much more exciting to create for the JMC. Have a wonderful day/night and see ya'll soon.

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

Have to admit that I enjoyed the Chicken Run sequel, it was better than I expected. I’m not going to make a full on post as I have to be up in a few hours, but a few things:

Obviously I’m still mad about Aardman/Netflix replacing Julia Sawalha, and given that I grew up with the original film the change is just so jarring - especially since they used archive footage/recordings of her voice in the first film for flashbacks, which makes it even weirder for me personally.

I’m not going to complain about Mel Gibson being replaced as Rocky given the circumstances tbh

I LOVE the Paloma Faith song used, it’s a great song, but when I first heard it in the opening scenes of the film I was like “…???”, like it just sounded so… modern and pop-y compared to the first film? It’s a fantastic song, don’t get me wrong, but compared to the first film, where you had a rather old fashioned sounding song played during the film (Flip Flop Fly), it made this film seem more American than British, if that makes sense (which kind of irks me because one of the most charming parts of the original for me is how British it is)

Following on from my point above, whole film in general seemed like it was more modern and more set in present day, which in some ways is to be expected because there’s a 23 year gap between movies, but on the other, the original film felt almost timeless, like it could have been set in any decade. As far as I remember, the original didn’t have any televisions, it had a sort of old fashioned radio and while, yes, there was electricity (the pie machine, Christmas lights etc), it felt like it could have been set in an older year than 2000. Maybe that’s just me, I don’t know, but this film really went twenty times more modern and gadget-y

You know how in the first film, Mrs Tweedy picks out a chicken who hasn’t been laying any eggs, then we see the shadow of her beheading the chicken followed by what is clearly a roast chicken skeleton on the Tweedys’ dinner table? I thought it couldn’t get more fucked from that, but Aardman wanted to prove me wrong because what the fUCK

Have to say that the first film strangely never actually made me want to stop eating chicken, meanwhile this film made me feel sick at the thought of a chicken nugget 😭 it might take a while before I can eat chicken again 😔

Hopefully the chickens I eat are NOT mind controlled on a high tech farm to walk to their deaths

Miranda Richardson back as Melisha Tweedy, SLAAAAAAY 💅🏻

I can’t decide what’s funnier, her introducing herself as “Melisha Tweedy” despite getting remarried or her calling Dr Fry “my current husband”

ALSO DOCTOR FRY IS VOICED BY NATE THE GREAT FROM TED LASSO?!? 😭

I don’t believe Mrs Tweedy is dead to be honest, if being inside the pie machine when it exploded (after falling into it from a great height), flattened by a barn wall/door, and going headfirst into the chicken nugget machine and smothered in breadcrumbs couldn’t kill her than I doubt that the killer robot ducks that shoot lasers will do the job, especially given that they didn’t kill Rocky, a rooster 💀

Calling it now there’ll be a third film and she’ll be back, I’m calling it right now!!!

I SAW FEATHER MCGRAW FROM THE WRONG TROUSERS AT THE END LMAO FEATHERS YOU LIL SKANK THIS AINT YOUR MOVIE 🐧

Anyway, I thought it was better than expected - the first one will always be the best of course, but as far as sequels go, this one was definitely on the better end of the scale!

[balanceoflightanddark]

I saw your earlier post about live action Azula and a few thoughts came to mind.

I know a lot of people are (rightfully)worried about the live action. I understand that they have cause to be wary.

As for me, I’m just hoping we get to see Azula kick the Zuko’s + the Gaangs (including Aang and Katara) collective asses! She got jipped quite a few times in the Og show regarding PIS and her mental breakdown.

And who knows? Maybe Netflix will make big changes and we’ll get to see an Azula redemption.

They also have an opportunity for epic trolling by having either Azulaang become canon (in the netverse anyway) Or having Katara fall for Zuko’s little sister instead of him. If nothing else, it would be good for a laugh.

I doubt any of these things will happen. But a person can dream, no?

In a similar vein to myself, do you have anything you wish to see in regards to Azula’s character?

How do you think Azula will be handled on Netflix?

Thank you for the ask anon.

I think one of my biggest fears is that they're going to play up her insanity and her breakdown. Unfortunately, her entire character has been colored by that breakdown both by the fandom and the franchise. Almost all of her post-canon work focuses on her mental instability to the point she's portrayed as a rabid animal in that awful Legacy of Fire book. Sure, we've had some more nuanced portrayals of her in recent years (Azula in the Spirit Temple comes to mind), but that's over a decade of her being portrayed at her worst moment.

And that's not even getting into how she's been demoted into little more than a glorified punching bag for Zuko and the Gaang in the Yang Comics.

So, yeah. I'm right with you about being apprehensive about Netflix's portrayal. If the creators can't get what made her character special, I don't exactly have confidence in a company who's had a pretty spotty track record when it comes to live-action adaptations (One Piece being the exception from what I've heard).

The other thing I'm a bit concerned about is...well, I don't think they're going for a redemption. With how modern media is like, I doubt they're going to stray too far away from the original series. Especially with Azula since her breakdown is iconic for all the wrong reasons. I mean, I'd like to hope for a redemption, but considering how Bryke and almost all the creative team keeps shying away from the possibility, I sincerely doubt Netflix is going to do better. Kind of frustrating when they've been leaving us up in the air for years at this point.

Now for what I'm hoping...I want Azula to get more sympathy. Basically, bust as many bad faith interpretations as possible. Don't tie in her story so closely to Zuko. Let her be a badass. And maybe leave her story on a positive note unlike the series. She seems to be getting a bit more focus, so I'm hopeful this might be true. Though it's all up to the writing team at this point.

I'll be honest, it's going to take a lot to convince me they have a handle on Azula's character. I mean, all respect for her actress and I'll be rooting for her. It's just...well, like I said in my previous post, over a decade of toxicity towards Azula and wishing the worst for her with creators that keep feeding that attitude has left me a little estranged. A part of me is hopeful, but until I see otherwise, I'm going to be skeptical.

Feel free to leave your thoughts.

[headbeachincharge]

question for the mun: what do you enjoy the most about hatter?

IN THIS ESSAY I WILL—

(tw: suicide, mental illness mentions below the cut)

I don’t mean to be pretentious, but since the first time I watched the show, I was just enamored with what he represents. I could throw a lot of sayings at you— “Do the ends justify the means?” and “The road to hell is paved with good intentions” are the two which most readily come to mind—but I think that’s just being needlessly vague.

To me, I think he was a very honest look at what a suicidal person looks like. I won’t bore you with the details, but I’ve seen them. Both in my life, and staring back at me in the mirror. One of the things people love to say about people who do attempt suicide (which he did, “successfully,” in season one) is that “we had no idea it was that bad.” And most times, it’s true. Suicidal people generally mask their pain. To the people around them, yes, but also to themselves. It’s a survival mechanism.

He builds an entire world to combat his own hopelessness while also trying to help those around him. Although it got twisted along the way due to his intensifying mental illness, I do believe that he was truly trying to help others while helping himself. I don’t think he believed the actual strategy was going to work, but I do think that he believed it would be enough to sustain him. The drinking? Coping mechanism. Indulging in sex, food, partying? Distractions, a way to get relief from the unbearable reality of his mental illness and the horrors he had witnessed. All of the things he did, from making those grand speeches to killing “traitors” for playing cards, were desperate attempts to keep his reality alive. And, by keeping his reality alive, he was able to keep himself alive.

A detail that I’m quite fond of is how he mentions the death of his partner at the original Beach. He had committed suicide, and Hatter is clearly deeply affected by it. I think that Hatter recognized those feelings his partner had been having inside of himself, and he was terrified of ending up like him. The Borderlands Beach would be his second chance, not only to relive the “glory days” of his host club career, but perhaps even as a way to get the “right” ending where everything is okay. Or, okay enough, at least for a time. He knew it wouldn’t last forever, but maybe it could last long enough to save the people he loves, Aguni in particular. This is purely speculation on my part, but I think it aligns with his handling of grief.

I have to commend the writers on creating such depth and nuance in a character who didn’t have much screen time in the scheme of the show. I have to commend the directors on knowing how they framed him and told us things about his character even when he wasn’t talking. The editors did an incredible job of putting together a cohesive and well-paced story.

And, of course, I can’t forget Kaneko Nobuaki for his performance. Not only did he play the silly guy and the serious guy so well that they were able to bleed into each other, but he made me believe it. Hatter is a truly outrageous and ridiculous character on paper, and to bring that to life in a way that felt at least somewhat realistic (given the circumstances of the show universe, of course) is no small feat. Side note: “Smoking” on Netflix is a (very dark) show which I believe really highlights just how weirdly good he is at balancing silly and serious, sometimes swinging between them multiple times throughout a scene.

Now if you don’t want to read all of the above because my GOD that’s a lot, here’s the TL;DR

Hatter is a complicated character who provides an honest and raw look at a person who is suicidal while also being entertaining to watch and expertly crafted by the people who brought him to life.

[samasmith23]

Evangelion: You Can (Not) Marathon — (Part 5)

Neon Genesis Evangelion, “Episode 5: Rei, Beyond the Heart/Rei I”

Continuing my Evangelion re-watch marathon with NGE, "Episode 5: Rei, Beyond the Heart/Rei I"! For my thoughts on the previous episode, click the link to the post below:

With that out of the way, let's dig in!

So here’s something that I’m rather curious about. We’ll learn later on in the series that each of the EVA Units are possessed by the souls of the pilot’s dead mothers, Shinji’s mother inhabiting Unit-01 and Asuka’s mother inhabiting Unit-02. While it’s never confirmed exactly whose soul inhabits Rei’s Unit-00, many fans have speculated that it’s inhabited by the soul of the first toddler Rei clone from Episode 21 (i.e. the one strangled to death by Ritsuko’s mother Dr. Naoko Akagi).

If we go with that interpretation, then I’m curious as to who exactly Unit-00 was trying to punch behind the glass when it went berserk during the activation test? Was it Ritsuko since she’s the daughter of Rei I’s murderer? Or was it Gendo since he was sleeping with Dr. Akagi and is manipulating the current Rei to help fulfill his own version of Human Instrumentality?

Also, while Gendo does appear to show legitimate concern for Rei’s safety (far more than he ever has for his own son Shinji) by burning his own hands to open Rei’s ejected Entry-Plug, the viewer is also given a subtle indicator to the fact that said-concern is not exactly benevolent as he when Rei tells him that he’s alright, he simply gives the cold response of, “I see.”

So NERV uses a cross-shaped object to in the place of an Entry-Plug in order to keep Unit-00 from going berserk again after the failed activation test? Interesting…

Two things about the scene where Shinji notices Gendo’s burnt hands:

-1) I love how Misato immediately encourages Shinji to drop his facade of saying he was looking at “nothing,” and to instead be honest, as it’s a continuation of the resolution of Shinji & Misato’s character arc from the previous episode! -2) Shinji’s usage of the word “bullsh*t” when reacting to Ritsuko’s description of Gendo risking his own safety to protect Rei actually marks the first instance of one of the more colorful 4-letter curse words in the original ADV/Manga Entertainment Dubs of EVA (said-swearing is completely absent in the Netflix re-dub). And similar to future instances, Shinji’s more extreme swearing here is strictly reserved for intense emotional moments rather than being gratuitously spread out, as it helps convey Shinji’s shock and disbelief at the idea that his douchebag father would actually risk himself to protect another child.

I love the contrast between Shinji’s perception of Rei versus Toji & Kensuke’s perception of Rei during the gym pool scene. While Toji & Kensuke are acting like a bunch of perverted horny idiots, objectifying Rei by talking about her physical anatomy, Shinji is instead asking questions about just exactly who Rei is personality-wise, wanting to know more about her as a person since despite her being a fellow EVA pilot she’s completely silent and isolated from the rest of her peers and yet seems to have a more visible bond with Gendo than Shinji himself does.

And as anime YouTuber GoatJesus pointed out in his "Rei Ayanami Analysis" video, Shinji’s non-gazey perspective is further supported by the framing of the camera through Shinji’s POV when looking at Rei sitting by the pool. As a director, Anno purposefully avoids objectifying Rei in this scene by utilizing camera angles which frame her from distance instead of resorting close-up shots of her physical features.

Essentially, both Anno the director and Shinji the character are refusing to satisfy the perverted male-gaze that’s personified here by Toji & Kensuke.

The way Anno places the viewer directly in Shinji’s shoes during this scene is absolutely phenomenal! Just like Shinji, we’re invited to ask further questions about Rei when we see her and Gendo happily interacting with each other, especially since neither Shinji nor the audience is able to hear what either character is saying to each other. If Rei is so emotionally withdrawn from the rest of her classmates and even her fellow EVA-pilot, then why does she seem so open and happy around Gendo? And why does Gendo seem to be more open and caring towards this random mysterious girl than he is to his own biological son?

Lol! The way poor Pen Pen passed out stone cold upon consuming Misato’s terrible cooking literally just had me burst out laughing!

On the subject of Misato’s bad cooking though, the way Ritsuko suggests that Shinji move out and, “Not let a bad roommate ruin his life.” As well as Shinji’s reply that, “I'm used to it by now,” this exchange seems to subtly infer that despite Shinji & Misato deciding to be more open and honest at the end of the previous episode to try and overcome the Hedgehog’s Dilemma, they’re still living in a relative dysfunctional living arrangement.

It makes me wonder if whether or not by Shinji “coming home” and Misato “welcoming him home,” they were actually purposefully inviting each other to inflict further pain as a coping mechanism to avoid isolation instead of expressing their true feelings in an honest and healthy manner. So does that contradict my previous interpretation of the final scene from Episode 4, or are both interpretations simultaneously valid?

That’s part of the beauty of Evangelion being such a complex and multifaceted open-ended series, as there’s no single universal interpretation of events and seemingly contradictory character behavior and motivations can simultaneously co-exist and inform each other.

Alright, the famous scene where Shinji first encounters Rei in her apartment! I’ve already spoken at length before about how I feel effectively this scene actively subverts the typical fan-service cliches that you commonly see in anime, and that reading still holds true upon rewatch!

For starters, I love how the first and most immediate attention to detail in this scene is on the condition of Rei’s living quarters themselves, as Shinji discovers them to be incredibly dirty and unsanitary. Not only because of the recently used blood-stained bandages on Rei’s bed and nightstand, but also because of the dozens of unopened letters in her mailbox and visible shoe-prints on the floor (in Japanese society it’s customary for people to take their shoes off at the front door before entering).

Additionally while Shinji does end up accidentally walking in on Rei naked as she’s just existed the shower, she’s more visibly concerned about the fact that Shinji’s wearing Gendo’s old pair of glasses instead of her own modesty, and silently rushes in to pull the glasses off of Shinji’s face which causes him to lose his balance and accidentally fall on top of her and his hand to unknowingly land on her breast.

Whereas in most anime this would be framed in a comedic light, with the female character angrily lashing it out and beating the crap out of the male character for his accidentally assaulting her, Rei’s reaction is instead a silent deadpanned stare before asking Shinji, "Will you get off,” in a monotone voice (which voice actress Amanda Winn Lee conveys phenomenally well in the ADV Dub).

Shinji’s obviously embarrassed and ashamed about the accidental encounter while also being confused over Rei being seemingly undeterred by the event, to the point where she completely fails to notice his attempts to give her the replacement NERV ID badge that he originally came by her apartment to deliver.

In addition to subverting uncomfortable sexist anime tropes, I also love how Rei’s unusual reactions instead invite the viewer to ask further questions about her character? Like... why is her apartment so dirty and noisy? Why does Rei only seem to show visible emotion whenever it’s related to Gendo, considering that she cared more about protecting Gendo’s glasses than her own modesty (plus her later slapping Shinji when he says he has zero faith in his scumbag father in front of Rei)?

Speaking from personal experience, when I saw this scene for the first time all I could think of was just how many questions I was then having about what exactly was going on inside of Rei’s head, as her status as a complete enigma made me very fascinated by the mystery of her character and want to learn more about her!

Also, the fact that Rei’s apartment is located in what appears to be a noisy industrial complex filled with completely identical generic buildings (combined with her emotionless almost robotic mannerisms) serves an excellent bit of visual foreshadowing to Rei’s true identity as a artificially-engineered clone born in a laboratory!

I love the bookending close-up shots of Gendo’s different pairs of glasses at the beginning of each Unit-00 activation test scene!

So… that sighing expression that Rei gives while still inside of the LCL of her Entry-Plug after Gendo halts the test to have Shinji go fight against the newly detected 5th Angel, Ramiel? Is it meant to convey a sense of disappointment that Gendo said she was yet not ready to go into battle yet as an EVA pilot? Because he assigned that task to Shinji who previously doubted his father’s abilities as a commander (which Rei took offense to)? Or is it symbolism of her finding peace within the proverbial womb of the Evangelion and the primordial soup of all life that is liquid LCL, foreshadowing the other side of Rei’s true identity as the reincarnated soul of humanity’s progenitor, Lilith? Again, so many possible interpretations and layers of symbolism…

Speaking of Ramiel though, I FREAKING love this Angel’s design as it looks so wildly different in comparison to either Sachiel or Shamshel! In contrast to the previous two Angel’s more organic appearances, Ramiel has an almost otherworldly inorganic appearance and makes this ominous mechanical humming sound as if it were a literal UFO (there’s a reason that I’ve always referred to this particular Angel by the nickname of, “the Flying Fortress”)!

In regards this specific Angel's name, according to Wikipedia, "Ramiel (Imperial Aramaic: רַעַמְאֵל, Hebrew: רַעַמְאֵל Raʿamʾēl; Greek: ‘Ραμιήλ) [refers to] a fallen Watcher (angel) not to be confused with the holy angel "Remiel” who is an Archangel in the apocryphal Book of Enoch. Ramiel [Watcher] mentioned in [Chapter 7], is one of the 20 Watchers (angels) that sinned and rebelled against God by mating with a human woman and creating an offspring called Nephilim."

Dang! What an intense cliffhanger to end this episode on with Ramiel immediately blasting Shinji and Unit-01 with a deadly laser beam the moment they emerge from the NERV GeoFront!

So that was that was NGE, "Episode 5: Rei, Beyond the Heart/Rei I," and overall it’s definitely another strong entry in the series upon rewatch!

Next up is Episode 6!

[folklore-wh0re]

Book Reviews

For a while now I’ve been wanting to write book reviews on some platform, and I have a GoodReads account but all my family and friends follow me on that and no one else reads reviews, so I think I’m going to start writing reviews of books on here for literally no reason at all. 

In the year of 2022, so far (9th Oct), I have read 24 books. My goal was originally 25, but I have increased that to 30. The 24 books are as follows, with my thoughts after them:

1. The Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan: (Dec 29, 2021 - Jan 3) I love this entire series, and this was mys econd time reading them. I have a very big soft spot for Percy Jackson, and it is my comfort series now. This goes for the whole series. 5/5 stars for the whole series. 

2. The Titan’s Curse by Rick Riordan: (Jan 6 - Jan 13)

3. The Battle of the Labyrinth by Rick Riordan: (Jan 15 - Jan 18)

4. The Last Olympian by Rick Riordan: (Jan 20 - Jan 23)

5. Heartstopper: Volume One by Alice Oseman: (Read the entire series Feb 2 - Feb 3) I also love this series and can claim I have been a fan since like 2017 or 2018 when I first bought the first volume. 5/5 stars for the whole series purely for personal enjoyment. 

6. Heartstopper: Volume Two by Alice Oseman

7. Heartstopper: Volume Three by Alice Oseman

8. Heartstopper: Volume Four by Alice Oseman

9. The Lost Hero by Rick Riordan: (Jan 26 - Feb 6) I love Percy Jackson and I have tried so many times to get into the Heroes of Olympus series but I literally just cannot do it. I don’t know what it is, whether it’s new, unfamiliar characters or the thickness of the books, but I just cannot get into them. I have the whole series and the Trials of Apollo series after that just sitting on my shelf, collecting dust. 4/5 stars for feeling bad. 

10. The Austere Academy by Lemony Snicket: (Feb 6) I have been slowly eating away at this series over the past few years after watching the Netflix show, but every single one of the books literally take me a few hours to read. 4/5 stars for Lemony’s writing style. Love him. 

11. Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston: (Feb 8 - Feb 12) I remember being a tad bored at the very start of this book, but by the end of the first chapter I was pretty interested. It’s actually one of my favourite books lol but I feel weird saying it because others might not say it. 5/5 stars because fuck you. 

12. The Ersatz Elevator by Lemony Snicket: (Feb 10 - Feb 14) I have no idea why this took me FOUR DAYS to read when it’s like 100 pages. I think I just read it one day, didn’t read it for two days, then finished it. For some reason this is 3/5 stars on GoodReads but I think I was just in a mood or something. 4/5 stars. 

13. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid: (Feb 15 - Mar 6) I’m gonna be honest, this book is great and I loved it, but the reason it took me so long to read was because of Taylor Jenkins Reid’s writing style. I have no idea what it is, but it takes me a while to read her other books, too. I love her, and her writing style does not take away from the story, but it’s just a bit slow. I like faster paced books, but not so fast that it’s ridiculous how fast a relationship is moving. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think Taylor is overrated or anything, just a bit slow for my liking. 4/5 stars. 

14. As Far as You’ll Take Me by Phil Stamper: (Mar 14 - Mar 31) What the absolute fuck was this book. By ‘As Far as You’ll Take Me’ did he mean, ‘As Far as You’ll Drag Me Along’? Never again. I saw a review that said this book was about the annoying kid you went to highschool with and they are absolutely correct. Boring asf. 2/5 stars for feeling like I would hurt the main character’s feelings. 

15. One of Us is Lying by Karen M. McManus: (Apr 30 - May 15) I surprisingly really liked this one. I thought it was just gonna be some cringy mystery book that popped out of 2014 Wattpad, but it was actually really good. The show is a literal pile of dog shit, though. 4/5 stars. 

16. Daisy Jones & The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid: (May 15 - Jun 1) Like I said, something about Taylor’s writing makes her books hard to read. This book was nice though, and I liked the interview style even though I had never read anything like it before. It was kinda like a documentary. I also like how she kinda breaks the fourth wall in most of her books, but in this one it made no sense. Like I didn’t understand it at all?? Someone explain pls. 4/5 stars. 

17. Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz: (Jun 3 - Jun 5) I literally loved this book so so much. The short chapters? Yes. The long distance and awkward letters? Errr OK. The secret and oblivious pining? Yes. The slow burn? Yes. But a lot of people say that you can only enjoy this book when you’re, like, 14 or 15, and my case actually proves that point. I am 14. But I do not care because this duology was the only thing I could think about for WEEKS. 5/5 stars. 

18. Aristotle and Dante Dive into the Waters of the World by Benjamin Alire Saenz: (Jun 20 - Jun 25) I was SO excited when I found out there was a second book to the first one. I was even MORE excited when I bought it and read it. I literally loved it so so much. Again, the only thing I could think about for weeks. 5/5 stars. 

19. Solitaire by Alice Oseman: (Jul 22 - Jul 31) Eh. This was... OK. Tori is a very woe is me character and I just don’t like those types of characters. The ‘love story’ between her and Michael probs could’ve been done a bit better, but overall was a pretty good book. But I literally saw a comment on TikTok that was like ‘solitaire had me bawling my eyes out’ or something like that and I was literally like??? what the fuck are you on about??? also the whole school burning down is a lil ridiculous. 3/5 stars. 

20. Beach Read by Emily Henry: (Aug 15 - Aug 25) Also eh. This was literally just OK. That’s it. It was better than Solitaire, definitely, but still not the greatest. I did like the fact that Gus had a thing for her since College and whatever. I did not like the fact he was a divorced man and kept running away and the fact he was name Gus. The fuck? I’m afraid that Emily Henry’s other book, Book Lovers, is the exact same thing, too. 3.5/5 stars because I felt bad for 3 stars. 

21. Nick and Charlie by Alice Oseman: (Sep 10) This book was pretty good. I didn’t read it for very long so there wasn’t much time for me to get some emotions about it together, but it’s really just an extension of the comics without so much comic. 4/5 stars. 

22. Malibu Rising by Taylor Jenkins Reid: (Sep 15 - Sep 27) AGAIN. wHAT. This is kinda mid ngl. Why is EVERYONE hyping this book up like it’s the book o fthe century? Idk man. I though this was gonna be like people running around, freaking out, getting out of a burning down house, but no. The house burns down on, like, the last page. Also did not like the individual pages of random people being introduced that I couldn’t keep track of when they weren’t mentioned again for like pages and pages. I. DID. NOT. REMEMBER. THEM. WHO TF ARE THEY??? Whatever. Still a good book ig, since everyone says it is. 3/5 stars. 

23. A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder by Holly Jackson: (Sep 27 - Oct 2) OMG. I LOVE. This book was very very good. I loved nearly every bit of this book but especially parts with Pippa and Ravi. I was kicking my feet and giggling over them instead of focusing on the main plot. But the main plot was AMAZING. I love a good mystery. Probs one of my favourite books now. I gave it 4/5 stars on GoodReads but I’m gonna change it to 5/5 stars. 

24. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky: (Oct 2 - Oct 6) I love you, Charlie Kelmeckis. I took the OpenPsychometrics quiz and Charlie was the second character to come up (after Viktor from Arcane (idk who that is)). While I relate to Charlie so much, this book is pretty good. It’s not the most amazing book I’ve ever read, but it will now stick with me for the rest of my life. I did like it. 4/5 stars. 

I understand that the Heartstopper series is very short and don’t really count as books but I literally do not care at all. If they’re on GoodReads, I’m going to record them. 

The next book I was going to read was The Dictionary of Lost Words, but that seemed like a slow start and very long and I didn’t think I had the mental capacity for it right now, so I started They Both Die at the End, which I’m not gonna lie, I don’t have very many expectations for. It doesn’t seem like a very good book lol. Don’t come for me, BookTok girlies. 

See you in the next review!!

[albertonykus]

Doraemon Movie Review: Stand by Me Doraemon (2014)

What is Doraemon? The title character of the Doraemon manga and anime is a blue robotic cat from the 22nd Century who keeps an array of high-tech gadgets in a portable pocket dimension on his belly, and has traveled from the future to improve the fortunes of a hapless schoolboy named Nobita. Although relatively obscure in the English-speaking world, Doraemon is a Mickey-Mouse-level cultural icon in East Asia (and some other regions, too). The Doraemon franchise was a big part of my childhood, and there are still elements of it that I enjoy now.

Doraemon has released theatrical films almost annually since 1980, most of which involve Nobita and his friends (kind Shizuka, brash Gian, and crafty Suneo) getting swept into adventures thanks to Doraemon's gadgets. Despite being of potentially broad appeal to fans of science fiction and animated films, there are very few English reviews of the Doraemon movies, so I'm embarking on a project to write about all the films that have come out so far. Good luck to me…

Movie premise: A retelling of some of the most iconic stories from the Doraemon manga, woven into a continuous narrative and represented using 3D computer-generated imagery.

My spoiler-free take: Unpopular opinion time: I’m not a big fan of this movie. It doubles down on some of the less tasteful elements of the source material, and other than the 3D imagery, it does not stand out much from previous anime adaptations of the same stories.

POTENTIAL SPOILERS AFTER THIS POINT

Review: And now for something completely different! This is a special Doraemon movie that not only has a distinct art style and story structure from typical films in the franchise, but was released independently of the annual Doraemon movie lineup (coming out during the same year as the remake of Nobita and the Haunts of Evil). This approach evidently paid off, because Stand by Me Doraemon is the highest-grossing Doraemon film to date, earning over $183 million at the box office. It and its eventual sequel are also the most internationally accessible Doraemon works—as of the time of writing, they are the only Doraemon movies available on American and British Netflix, and are among the few to have received official English dubbing and subtitles.

All of that probably sets some lofty expectations. From what I’ve seen, plenty of viewers loved this movie. As for me though... to be honest, as someone who was already familiar with the stories adapted into this movie thanks to either the manga or classic anime, my initial impression of Stand by Me Doraemon was that it seemed like a straightforward compilation of stories I knew, except with slightly creepier character designs. Don’t get me wrong; the character models here are far from the worst examples I’ve seen of 2D characters being converted into 3D, but I still found them a bit uncanny. Doraemon’s gadgets, on the other hand, look very good in this film.

Upon further reflection, however, I think there’s more that bothers me about this movie than just the art style. I don’t plan on writing an in-depth analysis, but probably the most obvious flaw with the narrative here is how it handles Shizuka’s role in the story. I’ve made no secret of the fact that the Doraemon franchise can sometimes come across as antiquated if not downright misogynistic in its treatment of Shizuka. (Really, just the fact that there’s only one girl on the main cast stands out as an increasingly archaic trope nowadays. And before anyone points out that I’ve been guilty of this in my own work: yes, I’m well aware of it.) That’s not to say that Shizuka has never been characterized in compelling ways, but the fact that she has makes the sexism all the more jarring. I’m not pointing this out as an excuse to hate on Doraemon (I probably wouldn’t have written 30 individualized reviews for a franchise I hated), nor to suggest that the original manga be considered without its cultural and historical context. However, for a long-running franchise like this, recent works can (and should be) evaluated on how they adapt these elements of the source material based on modern standards.

Those who know Doraemon lore well are likely aware that one of the most dramatic changes to Nobita’s life due to Doraemon’s arrival is that Nobita and Shizuka end up married in the future (whereas originally, Nobita was fated to marry Gian’s sister, Jaiko). There are sound criticisms that could be leveled at how that storyline was written in the manga, but Stand by Me Doraemon performs worse here than the source material in at least one major way: it treats Shizuka as essentially nothing more than a prize for Nobita to win. In this movie, Doraemon makes it his explicit goal to ensure that Nobita and Shizuka get together, with little regard for how Shizuka feels about the whole thing. Meanwhile in the manga, even though Doraemon’s presence results in Nobita and Shizuka marrying, and the marriage is by all appearances meant to be a happy one, Doraemon never to my knowledge claims that this is the specific outcome he is striving for. In fact, let’s take a look at what classic Doraemon’s reaction is when Nobita gets agitated about the possibility that his future might change yet again and he won’t get to marry Shizuka...

(The grammar in these unofficial subtitles isn’t great, but you can probably get the gist. This comes from the 1999 adaptation of “Nobita’s the Night Before a Wedding”. A similar exchange occurs in the original 1981 manga.)

Speaking of the classic anime, I can’t help but feel that most of the stories adapted in Stand by Me Doraemon had already been done justice in previous anime renditions. I found the 1998 adaptation of “Goodbye, Doraemon” and 1999 adaptation of “Nobita’s the Night Before a Wedding” to be more enjoyable than this film, for instance. In “Nobita’s the Night Before a Wedding” (1999), it’s believable when Shizuka’s father appraises Nobita as a kind and compassionate person, because the episode takes the time to show Nobita doing nice things for others throughout. In Stand by Me Doraemon, the same statement is a more difficult pill to swallow.

Granted, an anime episode that can devote all 25 minutes of its runtime to a single storyline is not strictly comparable to a movie that has to fit seven stories into an hour and a half. At the same time, that highlights another limitation of Stand by Me Doraemon. Although Nobita can often be unlikable in the regular series, at least the sheer volume and diversity of stories provide him with opportunities to display other facets of his character, giving his friendships with Doraemon and Shizuka slightly more depth and credibility. Stand by Me Doraemon is tasked with introducing the premise of the entire franchise and constructing a complete arc out of a set of pre-selected, largely standalone stories in the time frame allotted to a standard animated film, leaving little room for asides or tangents that could potentially flesh out the characters beyond their most basic core traits.

At the end of the day, Stand by Me Doraemon is such an atypical Doraemon entry that I cannot truly recommend it as an introduction to the franchise. Simultaneously, its value to hardcore Doraemon fans also seems questionable (though I suspect that many of those same fans would disagree with me there!) given that the stories it’s based on have been adapted multiple times over, often in more satisfying ways. I can guess at a large part of why the movie has been so successful, however: the retelling of classic stories using “modernized” graphics probably appeals especially to those who are nostalgic for Doraemon but haven’t revisited the franchise in a long time, a demographic that most likely represents the majority of the audience in regions where the franchise is popular.

Star rating: ★★☆☆☆

[natsubeatsrock]

Top 7 Things I Enjoyed in 2023: Number 1

Let me make something abundantly clear. I don’t like Netflix. 

I don’t love the skeevy way they handle internal politics. I don’t like how they don’t let promising shows continue. I don’t like that even the good shows they produce specifically for their platform feel bogged down by needless sex and violence. The fact that they’re allowed to continue as a company after pulling the nonsense they did with Cuties is proof enough that we’ve long abandoned God as a society. 

But of all the things I don’t like about Netflix, I don’t like how they handle anime. So much of what they do feels antithetical to how the medium is or even should be enjoyed. They’re notoriously tight-fisted with their licenses, even if they don’t license the entire series. Their release model has killed the hype behind highly anticipated titles year after year. While their dubs are usually high quality, their work on subtitles is sub-par at best and disgraceful at worst. Some series are outright unintelligible because of how they’re handled. 

Most of what I’m saying isn’t particularly new. This is stuff people have been complaining about ever since they decided to enter the anime streaming sphere. As much as people have complained about Crunchyroll over the years, they have owned up to at least some of their mistakes. 

So, it pains me to admit that, despite all of this, they’ve not only delivered but have produced what I consider to be the anime of the year.

For what it's worth, MAL doesn't think it's an anime.

Number #1 - Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

This was a pretty obvious lock for this list once it was announced. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is one of my favorite movies of all time. Seeing the same voices I associated these characters with the style of the original comic. For many, it was a dream come true. Not to mention, Edgar Wright and Brian Lee O’Malley were also working on this. As long as it was a substandard adaptation of even the movie events, I would have had it as an honorable mention, at the very least.

We did not get a substandard adaptation.

I don’t want to spoil too much of this, but they take a seriously insane direction near the end of the first episode. While this is controversial with a lot of people, I loved what we ended up with. I bought the original comics recently. The movie was put on Netflix around the same time as the anime. If I wanted to see the same story, I can still get it from those. Seeing a new version of this story was a very welcome surprise.

There are several other changes I appreciated seeing. Naturally, this version is aware of the existence of the movie and comics and it plays with that. But there are other things to enjoy. Gideon ends up in a new relationship and it makes way too much sense. Wallace, Knives, and Young Neil all have a lot more to do in the story. Sex Bob-omb gets a new member who you might not expect. We even get a nod to Into the Woods, making this the second entry to pay homage to Sondheim.

The character to benefit the most from this is Ramona Flowers. Admittedly, we didn’t get too much of a focus on her in the movie. However, she takes a much more active role in this version. We get to appreciate what she went through in the story and how she needs to grow and change, just like Scott has to. 

While it kinda does come to the detriment of Scott’s character, it’s not done in a way that makes no sense. I’m sensitive to the trend of female leads lifted at the expense of male characters. (Looking at you, D&D movie.) While that’s an understandable interpretation of this, I don’t think the show or Scott were hurt by it. One of the last people Scott had to fight to be with Ramona in the movie was himself. And, to be honest, I think this change does ultimately help justify Scott being with Ramona in the long run.

And that's my list! 

Wait, am I forgetting something?

I mean, even if I did, this was number 1. I'd have to think of something particularly spectacular to break away from that system.

Thankfully, nothing came out this year like that.

Right?

[gxtzeizm]

Hola!

Yes Harry Potter it’s the best, I’m actually re reading the chamber of secrets

Oh god yes!! The whole drama when it’s not race weekend it’s always amazing! Like Charles it’s single! I usually don’t care about their personal life. But it was funny to see all the drama at Twitter and TikTok about it

At first I didn’t block anyone but then I had to, it’s pretty sad how people talk about the drivers and their family :( I feel it more about Lewis and Max last year, it was horrible… I hope it doesn’t repite next year since both are amazing

I’m so glad your having some days off, enjoy it, it’s always good be back home and spend some family time, it’s the same for me actually, I’m spending more time with my family, my mother like Korean dramas, she stole my Netflix account and now it’s all about it, I’ve seen some and they’re really good, lol, which one it’s your fav??

I recently watched bullet train and I’m a little obsessed with Aaron Johnson 😍 it may like you

So, tell me about your fav subject?? And idk your fav food? Also, what do you think about the World Cup right now?

-Your secret Santa 🎅🏼

Hiiiiii my dear secret santa <333

well first of all i wish you're having fun re-read the chamber of secrets ☺️.and let me being honest with you, i'm actually not having the hp books yet and i'm planning to get the whole series soon (well you guess it...i'm more to hp movie than the hp books...but i guess both of them are equaly great).

and i agree with you tho about the non-race weekend drama literally. well i'm also not really get into deeper to Charles' breakup tbh, not wanting to invade his personal matters tho. but yeah, somehow it's hilarious tho seeing those on tiktok yet maybe some of it might be a...little cringey for me (oh i'm not really look into twitter if i'm being honest with you). but yeah, for me it's impossible that there'll zero drama next year but i hope it's not that kind of worse tho.

well thanks a lot my dear, i'm having a enjoyable week-off here. even though there will be lots of mid-semester tests and assignments starting next week 😭😭, i need to get prepared and do some revisions literally.

that's really cool that your mom loves to watch korean shows <333. and your situation is almost as same as mine but it's me who using my dad's netflix account (as well as my siblings).

well currently, i'm about to watch 20th century girl (it's actually a netflix originated korean movie) right after the tests. it's such a great movie i'm not gonna lie. although the 1st half of movie is kinda typical high school love vibes, but the last half....just get prepared with the tissues (yeah i've already know the spoilers tho i'm not sorry for this).

there's another few which are weak class heros and revenge of others. idk but i realized that both of it are literally having almost the same genre (high school, revenge etc. etc.). but i might watching weak class heros first since the other one is only available in disney+ right now and i'm not subscribing yet.

omg you had watched bullet train...i'm not watching it yet 😭😭. actually i was planning to watch it in cinemas months ago with my family but somehow there were other movies that we wanted to watch first....now it's too late tho.

hmmm...speaking of my fav subject, i'm still sticking on mathematics i guess...idk but the one during my high school days i guess, when i'm always priotise my maths work rather that other subjects literally. i know it might surprising you but it's satisfying me everytime i "break the code (solutions and answers)".

i'm so fall in love with pasta especially aglio olio pasta (idk if i spell it right). idk but every week i won't miss buying those in my food arcade in my campus after class <33.

i'm still not believe it that morocco managed to get into quarter finals i also feel so proud of them <333. and that's the reason why i'm rooting for them right now to win this wc (i know it's a bit difficult by looking at the opponent but anything will be happen am i right). and i guess i'm also rooting for croatia as well just to make it realistic.

i hope you're having an enjoyable day bestie <333

[pradaksj]

Safety Net || part two (final). (m.)

all rights reserved © pradaksj

↳do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.

❧ summary ⟶ on new year’s eve, you and jungkook reflect on each other’s entire year together.

❧ pairing⟶ jungkook/reader

❧ genre⟶  enemies to friends, friends to lovers, fluff, angst, pining, smut, boxer!jungkook. two-part series.

❧ word count ⟶ 16,000+

❧ warnings ⟶ descriptions of an anxiety/panic attack, character death (non-major), smut which includes ... passionate to rough sex, oral (female receiving), penetration, fingering, unprotected sex (please have sex responsibly lol). 

❧ music⟶ safety net, selfish, stuck on you, exile, +more

❧ a/n ⟶ I am still fairly new to writing smut so sorry if it doesn’t meet your expectations 😭 also to all my people who don’t like smut “*” signals where you can stop reading as the smut is really just a bonus scene at the end. and remember dark purple = entering/still in the past, light purple = present

01 | 02 (final) 

“God were we dramatic,” you laugh, glad that the recollection of your big fight with Jungkook was something that could by now be laughed at rather than seen as something you’d dearly regret, “Don’t you think?” you ask Jungkook, concern immediately washing over you once you see the sad look on his face, “Jungkook?”

Jungkook stares blankly at the lake in front of him, surprised at the resurgence of the same heavy feeling in chest he had felt several months before, “Did I—Did I say something wrong?” you worry that you’ve hurt his feelings, that being one of, if not the, last thing you wanted to do tonight.

Quietly he nods his head no, “I just—” he struggles to voice his thoughts, “I was—” he shakes his head and you grab his hand in comfort, giving him a small smile.

“Hey,” you giggle, “what happened is in the past,” you reassure.

“I know but—” he sighs, pushing his hair back with his other hand, “I just still feel bad, you know? I mean we went a whole month without talking…. practically hating one another…”

August 2019. 

It had been about a month since your explosive argument with Jungkook, and despite living together... the two of you had never been so far apart. Not only were you not on speaking terms, but it was as if neither of you existed in each other's proper world, completely avoiding each other at all costs.

One would think that because you two lived with one another, you’d be bound to have some kind of awkward bump ins from time to time, but somehow the two of you managed to steer clear of each other. From eating breakfast and dinner at separate times, to talking to Hobi at your own respective times, and of course the first thing Jungkook did the next day after your fight was move his things out of your restroom and into Hobi’s. You weren’t going to lie, it did sting just a little , but you were quick to get over it. The part that made Hobi roll his eyes even further back than they already did, was how quickly you two scrambled around each other whenever you did happen to coincidentally be in the same place such as the kitchen.

Originally Hobi tried any and every method possible to get you two to make up, knocking on doors and trying to trick you two into talking, faking handwriting, stealing personal belongings, and of course begging. Hell, he even tried confronting you two in one of the rare times you guys were in the kitchen at the same time, but all you two did was remain silent and go back into your respective rooms. Not bothering to even spare a glance at one another.

He had given up about two weeks in of trying, deciding that it was up to you two to figure out how you guys would make up. But it wasn’t until this Friday morning when he saw a certain letter stick out of the mail that he found himself loudly sighing.

“Oh Jungkook…” he whispers to himself, shaking his head as he read the letter in front of him. What was he going to do now?

It didn’t take long for Jungkook to get used to being the lone wolf in the apartment again, in fact it was easy for him to completely ignore your existence. It was easy to watch you struggle opening a jar full of kimchi. It was easy to catch a glimpse of you and Hobi watching One Piece on the couch whenever he was making his way out of the apartment to go and party. It was easy to hear you sing along to some new girl group song and not join along whenever he passed by your room. And it was very easy to hate you. Very easy indeed.

Gosh, who was he kidding? It was the hardest freaking thing in the world to do. Especially because he didn’t hate you at all. Pretending to? Yes. Actually? Fuck no.

If he was being honest, any hatred he had felt in the moment of the big argument had been rapidly washed away the moment he slammed his door shut. Instead it had been quickly replaced by the feeling of hurt and sadness. He even found himself sneaking into the kitchen that night to grab an extra pint of ice cream from the freezer and watch some stupid K-drama from his laptop back in his room. Even shedding a small tear when the male and female lead had to break up due to unforeseen circumstances. But of course if you asked him if it was true, he’d deny it in a heartbeat.

He’d often find himself zoning out and replaying the fight in his head. God, was he an idiot. What was he thinking destroying your painting like that? Did he really think you weren’t going to react the way you did? Sadly, the answer was a mixture of both yes and no. Yes, he wanted you to feel as hurt as he did, but he didn’t expect you to go fully ballistic on him. Did he blame you for it? No, of course not. You had every right to be mad at him as he had acted out in completely blind rage. Not bothering to stop for one moment and ask himself, am I okay with the possible outcome of what I’m about to do? Had he known it was going to be this, and well … he would’ve never done it.

It just happened so quick. One moment he was staring at the floor covered with broken pieces of glass and the next he had his fist going through the canvas of your painting, destroying the very thing he convinced you to work on. No wonder you hated him…

You hated him and you had every right to. He just wasn’t sure how long he was going to be able to take it anymore. Having to only catch glimpses of you from time to time and not being able to say anything because he was too ashamed to even look at you was truly killing him. And he could only imagine how you felt having to see him every day and night. Knowing the person you hated most was living under the same roof as you. Hell, if the roles were reversed he probably wouldn’t want you around at all.

Which is why as Jungkook currently stares aimlessly at the ceiling of his room, he knows he’s made the right decision.

The night of the fight between you and Jungkook, you had felt a range of emotions that honestly were quite overwhelming. Whenever you’d stare off into space you’d find yourself feeling very sad and reflective, but whenever you even caught a glimpse of your then destroyed painting on the floor you’d feel the rush of anger return all at once. It was like that the whole night, not even an episode of One Piece could cheer you up. If anything it made you feel even more confused because you were on the episode where (spoiler alert) *** dies, and well not only were you mad at how it happened, but sad because it was happening. Hell, that was probably the best way to describe how you felt about the whole argument.

The first couple of days had been hard to say the least, the dynamic between all three of you drastically changing in the matter of a couple days. No longer were there grocery shopping trips together, nor were there laundry days where you and Jungkook would compete to see who could fold the fastest, and of course there were no longer Netflix movie nights where Hobi would complain because you and Jungkook kept cracking too many jokes during the most intense scenes. Your laughs always echoing across the living room walls thus ruining the buildup of the scene.

You were good at pretending you didn’t care, in fact you were great at it. Maybe because a part of you actually didn’t care. You had long been fed up with Jungkook’s moody antics, and him destroying that painting was the final straw. Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t have gone into his room after he specifically told you not to, but you only did because you were worried about him and actually cared about him. Couldn’t he have seen that before he went full on rampage mode and destroyed your painting? He was wrong for what he did, and at the end of the day he had no right to hate you. Right?

These days you found yourself doubting it. It wasn’t like you were in the entire right, you mean you had invaded his privacy … you shake your head, begrudgingly getting out of bed before dwelling on your thoughts for any longer. The re-do of your painting, which currently sat on its easel, serving as reminder that you weren’t planning on talking to him anytime soon.

“Good Morning to you,” Hobi greets, watching you stomp your way into the kitchen, clearly running on an empty stomach. Jungkook was currently out, either working out or …. Hobi sighs recalling what he saw in the letter this morning.

“Good morning,” you mumble, the grouchy mood that Hobi found himself a little too used to making its morning return. In all the years he’s known you, to see you always this …. down …. was very unlike of you to say the least.

Whether you liked it or not, your fight with Jungkook had definitely changed some aspects of your personality, even if you didn’t want to admit it to yourself yet. Because no matter how good you were good at faking it, and trust him you were good (a professional indeed), behind that tough wall you had put up in the last month was a person who was hurt. A person who had their heart crushed right in front of them.

Grabbing two slices of bread, you place them in the toaster, preparing to make yourself some avocado toast. You sigh when you hear Hobi’s footsteps getting closer, not wanting to hear the whole “You need to talk to Jungkook” speech this early on a Saturday morning.

Turning around to face him, you’re prepared to protest against his usual lecture, “Hobi I don’t—” the sound of an envelope hitting the counter catching you off guard, stopping you from continuing any further. Furrowing your brows, your eyes glint with confusion. Hobi stares at you with a stoic expression, waiting for you to grab the letter from the island’s counter.

Slowly you grab the white envelope, extremely confused as to what this had to do with. The name on the recipient line reads, “Jeon Jungkook” and for a small second you feel your heart stop, but you’re quick to shake it off.

“This isn’t mine, if you can’t tell,” you scoff, preparing to hand the envelope back to Hobi.

Pushing your hand away, he says, “Read it,” his tone telling you that it wasn’t exactly an option.

Rolling your eyes, you pull out the single piece of paper that’s inside, unfolding the tri-folded letter. Your eyes quickly gaze over the subject line which reads, “Application Approval,” catching your attention. From there you continue to read…

Dear Jeon Jungkook,

We are pleased to notify you that we have received and accepted your application for the lease property of **** Jangsin-Ro, Apartment 32. Your lease will begin on September 28, 2019 and your rent amount is ₩****  for every 1st of the month. Any cancellations will result in a ₩*** fee. I want to thank you for your application and anticipate that you will have an enjoyable living experience in your new home.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.

Sincerely,

Bang Si-Hyuk.

Wait what? Your eyes reread the letter that’s in front of you because clearly you were reading something wrong. Your eyes must’ve been deceiving you because there was just no way…. Looking up at Hobi, you hope this was another of his attempts to get you to talk to Jungkook, but there he stood, straight faced as ever.

“He’s—” your voice whimpers like a little kid, “He’s moving out?”  

“Ow!” Jungkook squirms, the feeling of your fingers pinching his arm hurting him, “What was that for?!” he yelps.

“For trying to move out without telling us! And don’t you dare ever pull something like that again,” you scold him, tempted to pinch him again.

Garnering a laugh out of him, you cross your arms like a kid and huff a loud breath of air, “Ah I won’t, I won’t,” he giggles, “Maybe…” he mumbles, but he’s quick to raise his arms in defense once he sees you ready to pinch him once again, “I’m just kidding,” he sings and you roll your eyes.

“Serves you right,” you mutter, letting out the hurt you felt that day to him because honestly, you had never gotten the opportunity to do so…

September 2019.

“Jungkook is moving out. Jungkook is moving out. Jungkook is moving out,” you think to yourself, having to come to terms with the fact that in exactly 48 hours from now Jungkook was officially going to be out of your life … for good.  

You were shocked to say the least, when you saw the application letter, not exactly sure about what you felt. You mean, yeah you were definitely mad at Jungkook, but enough to the point where you wanted him officially out of your life? Hell no.

So then where the hell did he even get the idea to move out? It wasn’t like you two were being mean to each other, nor was there blatant hatred being shown on your part. All you two were doing were ignoring each other like two little kids. That should not be cause for someone to move out. Not at all!

A knock on the door catches your attention, “You ready?” Hobi asks, dressed in business like attire. His all black suit made him seem almost intimidating, that was until your eyes landed on his newly dyed cherry-red hair only causing you to stifle a small laugh.

Nodding your head, you look at yourself in the mirror one last time. Tonight was the night of the art exhibition, and you were very very nervous. You had turned in your piece a couple of days prior, but to have to later unveil it in front of everyone along with giving a small speech was nerve wracking. Especially considering you hadn’t involved yourself in the world of the arts for several years now, if anything you were used to constantly talking about accounting numbers and different business statistics.

“It’s either now or never,” you whisper to yourself, not knowing what awaited you.

“I just don’t get it Hobi,” you rant in the car, on your way to the galleria’s location, “he didn’t see me trying to move out when he was being nothing but a complete dick to me those first couple of months!” you pout, still not having accepted that Jungkook was moving out, despite constantly reminding yourself that he was.

Hobi sighs, feeling as if he’s heard you rant about this since you’ve found out … oh wait … you have! “Y/N—” he begins.

“No listen to me Hobi!” you interrupt, “Can he really not stand the sight of me that he feels the need to move out?? Was me going into his room really that big of an issue,” your voice wavers a bit, but you continue nonetheless, “And the fact that he hasn’t even bothered to tell you! So what? He was just planning on disappearing this coming Monday! Thinking no questions were going to be raised? I mean imagine you hadn’t seen that letter, he would’ve left thinking I hate him!” And to that Hobi lets out a scoff.

“What do you mean?” he scrunches his face, “He still is!” Hobi raises his finger before you could talk, “My turn,” he firmly states, only causing you to drop your defensive shoulders and roll your eyes.

“You two have not talked at all since your stupid little argument where clearly both of you were in the wrong!” he rants, repeating what he’s been saying for the last two months, the topic becoming tiresome, “And now one of you is leaving because neither of you can get over yourselves and just initiate some kind of freaking conversation! Just one conversation and I am one hundred percent sure everything will get cleared up and we can all go back to our daily lives, but nooooo both of you think we’re in some freaking K-drama, actually no, even K-dramas make up faster than the two of you!” he ends his rant on an insult, and you’re left there momentarily speechless.

“You are so—”

“I’m what?” Hobi glares at you, and you only narrow your eyes at him in return.

“You are so wrong,” you state, refusing to now look at him, instead looking out the window.

“I’m right and you know it,” you mumble something under your breath in response, “You invaded his privacy after he repeatedly told you not to, but for some reason you just felt the impulsive need to go into his room and find out what he was hiding. You know, I’m sorry Y/N but if Jungkook’s the biggest dickhead in existence then you my friend are the pushiest one,” he complains, finding his grip on the steering wheel becoming tighter. God, did the two of you get his blood pressure boiling up.

“You don’t get it, I had to go into his room,” you mutter, not exactly happy with the fact that Hobi is reading you for filth.

“No you didn't,” the two of you begin to go back and forth, voice raising with every sentence.

“Yes, I did.”

“No you did not.”

“Um yes—”

“Um n—”

“Yes, how else was I going to be able to find out what was hurting him?” you interrupt, turning to face Hobi, feeling the migraine in your head about to pop.

“And why would you need to know that?”

“Because I lo—” you quickly catch yourself before you could complete the sentence, crossing your arms and pouting. Like hell you’d confess in front of Hobi.

Hobi looks at you knowingly, “Because you what,” he taunts, knowing exactly what you were going to say,

“Just drive,” you mumble, your attention back to the window beside you, focusing on the view of the city streets.

“Ah Y/N, there you are!” Jimin greets you and Hobi, having barely walked in from your argumentative car ride, “You’re on in like ten minutes,” he nervously chuckles, worrying only minutes ago that you were going to be a no-show.

“That quick?” you ask in complete shock, barely having taken off your dress-coat. The churns in your stomach begin to make you feel physically sick and there’s now a certain dryness to your throat that you could only accredit to the tension you were now feeling. Your palms were even beginning to get a little sweaty. Why were you doing this again? Oh yeah … Jungkook.

“Come on let’s go and get you set up,” Jimin tugs at your hand, pulling you to follow him. With your other hand, you attempt to look for your flash cards, wanting to remind yourself of the specific points you needed to cover.

“What the—” your heart drops, unable to feel the flimsy piece of paper anywhere near the coat that hung against your arm, “Oh no,” you murmur to yourself, not wanting to panic Jimin, “No, no, no,” you repeat to yourself.

“Okay here we are,” he stops you two in front of your draped-covered painting, pulling out a lapel mic from his pocket, clipping it onto the collar of your outfit. Now that you weren’t moving, you were now barely taking note of just how many people filled the galleria, and it was a lot. There had to be at least 200 people, minimum. Each and every one of them slowly looking around at the already unveiled art pieces, their eyes doing the judging for them.

“Jimin I don’t know—”

“Hey, you’re gonna do just fine, it’s just a bit of stage fright I’m sure,” he reassures, and though you appreciate the gesture, coming from him it just didn’t mean much. You see, Jimin has always been what's called an optimistic person, similar to you in a way. Always trying to find the good in the bad. But in order for his words to really have some effect, it would’ve been better if he was a pessimist, someone who always saw the negative in everything because then to hear that you would do just fine would come more as a shock rather than as something expected, someone like—

You shake your head,“I’m just,” your outfit suddenly begins to feel as if it's squeezing the life out of you, “I’m really nervous,” you whisper to him out of breath, watching as people begin to crowd around your area. Were the walls closing in or was it just you?

He begins to test the mic, “Jimin—” you repeat his name, a cry for help, “I can’t—” but it’s too late.

“Hello everyone,” he speaks into his own microphone, and you scan the audience to see if you can spot Hobi. When you do, you notice the look of panic he has on his own face, probably aware of your distressed state, knowing that there was nothing he could do about it, “This artist I’m introducing to you, has been a personal friend of mine for years. I’ve known her since my first year in college, and I can vouch for just how talented she is,” Jimin glances at you, unaware of just how truly panicked you were, “So without further ado, y/n take it away,” he steps away, leaving you under the sole spotlight.

Remaining silent for a moment, you stare at the several pairs of eyes that had their gaze solely focused on you. “H-Hello,” you stutter into the mic, glad that it wasn’t a handheld one as you were sure that you would’ve been a jittering mess, “Um my name is y/n l/n,” you nervously smile, trying to find something to focus your attention on. Originally you planned on staring at Hobi the whole time, only to find out it made you even more of a stuttering mess. God, was it getting hot in here.

“So um I think we should um reveal the painting first,” you sputter out, signalling to Jimin that it was time. Slowly he removes the drape, the sound of clapping providing you a bit of a soothing effect. People liked it. People freaking liked it. It felt as if a brick or two had been dropped from your shoulders.

You gulp continuing with your speech, “So I um—” breathe y/n, “I call this piece safety net,” you turn sideways towards the painting, ready to explain, “I call it that because as y-you can see in the painting,” you mindlessly point to it as if the audience couldn’t see it themselves, “There’s the um the figure falling into what I call a safety net of flowers and—” you stare at the painting along with them, finding yourself getting lost in your own work, “well I painted this after—” you pause, the room completely silent, “after finding myself wanting to be someone’s safety net,” you mumble to yourself, a certain person coming to mind.

There’s an awkwardness to the room, the kind of stiffness you only find in tense moments. You weren’t sure if it was because the audience was trying to be respectful or you were just making a complete mess out of yourself, but either way Jimin awkwardly coughs, “So um we will now take questions from the audience,” Jimin hesitantly says, by now noticing the extremely panicked state you were in, but unsure of what to do.

A woman raises her hand, a volunteer for the galleria handing her a mic, “Hello,” she politely greets, giving you a warm smile, “So I was curious as to why you chose two colors that don’t conventionally go well together, I was wondering if you did that on purpose or…” and though you know her question means no harm, the voice in your head was convincing you that this was some kind of an attack.

“I um—” your breathing becomes heavier, “I—” Just speak, you keep telling yourself. Tell her that you chose two colors because they represented two different personalities. Say something you freaking idiot. “I um c-chose—” you begin to hear the sound of people murmuring all around you, their voices echoing loudly through your head. What were they saying? Did they hate your painting? Did they think it made absolutely no sense? Was it really that bad? What were you thinking when agreeing to do all this? How could you have been convinced to do this? You didn’t paint anymore for this exact reason.

With every thought that races through your mind, the sudden sense of impending doom only becomes stronger and your rapid breathing becomes louder. You had to be sweating because God did it feel like a fucking sauna in here. The tightness in your throat wasn’t helping at all as well only making the feeling of nausea further overwhelming. You needed to get out of here. Now.  

And so without thinking… you run.

You yank out the mic and begin to run to God knows where, ignoring the shouts of your name along with the small number of gasps that could be heard.You needed to breathe again, and you desperately needed this feeling of danger to be gone.

Trying not to bump into too many people walking the dark city streets of Seoul, focusing on the sound of your heels clicking against the pavement, tuning out everything around you. “Just run,” you tell yourself, “Run until no one can find you.”

Soon the sound of your heels clacking against the pavement becoming the sound of your heels crunching against leaves. The pitch blackness of your surroundings causes tears to begin to well up, the trembling of your fingers along with the chills running down your spine making you feel as if you were running in an endless loop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

You come to sudden halt, pushing your arm against a nearby tree, desperately trying to catch your breath. You were alone now, isn’t this what you wanted? So then why did you still feel as if the world was crashing down on you. Why couldn’t you breathe? Why were hot tears spilling from your eyes? What the hell was wrong with you?

By now your sobs are in full force, your heaving chest only adding to its force. Because of your crying, you fail to hear a voice, “There you are!” Jungkook catches his breath, surprised at how fast you could run in heels. For a small second he thought he had lost you in the chase, with the way you maneuvered around everyone, he was thankful he hadn’t.

“Y/N,” he calls out, expecting you to turn, but he’s met with silence. You were having a panic attack, a bad one at that. Making his way closer to you, he’s careful in how he approaches you, grabbing your hand before you could run any further, “Y/N,” he repeats, this time turning you to face him, but you continue to cry in hysteria, your vision blurred by just how fast tears were falling from your eyes.

“Hey, hey, hey, look at me y/n,” he cups your face with his hands, a worrisome but firm look on his face, “I need you to breathe with me, okay?” your chest continues to heave, the rapid breaths of air coming from your mouth at an alarming rate, “Y/N!” he shouts, causing you to go silent, “Y/N…” he softly repeats, knowing he’s gotten your attention. You stare at him in silence, “One,” he inhales a big breath of air, “Two,” he exhales out, “Inhale,” he repeats his actions again, “Exhale,” he breathes out.

Slowly you begin to follow. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

In no time, your heartbeat begins to slow down, your mind focused enough on the task at hand that you begin to forget why you were ever panicked to begin with. “Hey,” Jungkook whispers, caressing your cheek with his hand, “You’re doing great,” he reassures you, providing you the words of comfort you so desperately needed to hear right now.

It had been so long since you’d gone through having a panic attack, almost forgetting just how bad they could sometimes get. But for now staring into Jungkook’s eyes and practicing some breathing exercises was enough to remember that no matter how bad they got, you’d get through them.

His fingers gently graze your cheeks, continuing to mumble small phrases of reassurance while you were getting control of yourself.  “Has anyone ever told you,” you place a finger to the corner of his eye, quietly breathing your words out, “you have very round eyes,” you say and Jungkook lets a huffed laugh out in response.

He scrunches his nose and smiles, “Yeah, a lot of people have actually,” he laughs, a toothy grin spreading across his face while he uncups your cheeks, feeling a sense of tranquility wash over him as he knew you were going to be just fine, “I’ve been told they look like a doe’s eyes,” you quietly nod your head yes, agreeing with his statement, a warm smile on your face.

“Come on,” he intertwines your fingers, gently pulling you to follow him and leading you to a park bench that was near. But the thing was, it wasn’t just any park bench, it was the park bench from the night Jungkook was drunk and the two of you had gotten into the fight with that drunk man. What were the odds? You hadn’t even noticed that you ran this far till now...  

He exhales a large breath of air once you two sit, allowing a neither comfortable nor awkward silence fill the air. Despite the heartwarming moment that happened only minutes ago, there were still things that needed to be talked about. Things that simply couldn’t be forgotten. It was the sole reason he had gone to the art exhibition because he wanted, no, he needed to talk to you.

He just hadn’t expected to see you running out in complete panic right as he walked in. The tears that were slowly rolling down from your eyes, causing him to feel a sudden sense of heartbreak. For the only reason you’d ever cry would be if your hard work were to be destroyed, whether physically or emotionally. It was the same despaired look you had given him that fateful day he decided to throw everything good that was becoming of his life out the window.

And so to see the scene in front of him play out had definitely caused both a mix of anger and sadness to boil within him. His urge to defend and protect you, almost overcoming his need to go out and make sure you were okay. That was until he found himself running out the door, signalling to Hobi that he’d handle it.

And so now here the two of you were, quietly sitting on a park bench with your hands being the only things physically touching, a comfort of its own for the both of you. It didn’t feel weird nor did it feel wrong because if anything it just felt right.

A part of you thinks and hopes it could remain like this forever, scared that if it didn't, you’d have to return back to the world where you and Jungkook were nothing more than strangers who were once friends. The world where acting as if one or the other didn’t exist was completely normal. The one where you’d find your heart selfishly longing for him despite stubbornly not wanting to. And so whether it be for a small second, a minute, or an hour, for now at least you just wanted to savor the moment because who knew what would possibly happen if he decided to leave and never come back.

“Y/N…” he begins.

“Shh,” you whisper, your puffy eyes softly gazing at the view of the trees in front of you, the silhouettes of trees as well sound of the wind softly pushing against the branches, a view you were once so scared of, not so scary anymore, “Just one more second,” you close your eyes, taking in one final breath of air. Jungkook feels his heart swell at the sight, remembering the scene from only months ago where it had been you doing all the staring. You pull his hand when you’re ready, your soft gaze now directed towards him.

“I just—” he begins to stutter, “I wanted to—” he feels his eyes get watery, the rush of emotion he was beginning to feel almost overwhelming him, “I wanted to say I’m sorry,” his voice slightly cracks, “for everything,” he whispers, allowing a tear to fall from his eye, feeling the weight he had been holding onto his shoulders now falling. The small leaks of vulnerability that you had occasionally seen now completely flooding through his walls of defense, that single tear becoming several, until soon you hear a sob emit from his mouth, but by then you have him wrapped in a hug, the sound of his sobs being muffled by your shoulder. Slowly you caress his hair, gently stroking and twirling the locks of his wavy hair in between your fingers, deciding that this time around silence was the best way to go.

“I’m so sorry,” he hysterically cries, holding onto you tighter, as if you’d go anywhere. He begins to shake his head, struggling to find the words that’d best describe how he felt at this current moment, “I’m—”

“Hey, hey, hey,” it’s your turn to say the words, gently pushing him off you so he could meet your gaze, “I know,” you reassure, “and I forgive you. The same way I’m sure you’ve forgiven me for snooping around your room like that,” you jokingly assume, and he smiles despite having red bloodshot eyes, “We were angry, and we said and did things that we shouldn't had but that doesn’t mean we have to hold them over our own heads for the rest of our lives,” you grip his hand tighter, “you made a mistake, and I made one as well. And rather than explode on one another and ignore each other, we should’ve talked about where we went wrong, and yeah,” you repeat your words from months ago, “maybe we didn’t get to do this as early as we hoped, in fact we’re quite late,” you giggle, “but we’re here nonetheless. And so let’s talk,” you say, ready to listen to the boy you had fallen in love with.  

Jungkook stares at you in silence, a million thoughts racing through his mind, wondering how you always knew exactly what to say at the exact moment, “I,” he hesitates before continuing, “I need to start from the beginning,” he says, wiping any residue from the tears in his eyes, ready to open up the book he had kept closed for so long.

You nod to him, signalling that you were listening, “When I was a kid, I um,” he gulps, “I guess you could say I had a knack for boxing. Originally, my dad had taught me as a way to protect myself if I ever came across a situation that’d require me to defend myself,” his fingers begin to fidget within yours, a sign that he was nervous. Quick to soothe him, you rub small circles on the palms of his hands, his gaze occasionally avoiding eye contact.

“But I also think it was because my dad, who once wanted to be a boxer himself, saw me a way to vicariously live out his dream. Because soon he noticed that the knack I had for it was more of a talent,” a small smile appears on his lips, “and well by then he had begun to seriously train me… I remember always coming back after school and dulging right into practice, waking up on weekends and running laps at the park with my dad in order to gain stamina, and just,” he exhales a breath, “and just thinking to myself how proud I wanted to make him,” uncontrollably a tear falls from his face once again, and he tries to gain his composure before continuing, not wanting to begin the sob fest too early, “Once he thought I was ready, my dad had begun to sign me up for amatuer competitions, and well I did amazing,” Jungkook laughs.

“And soon boxing would become the sport I’d find myself building my life upon, but one day—“ he sighs, knowing the conclusion to his own story and well this was only the beginning, “one day during high school we had this um career day I guess you could call it, and well long story short after going around and listening to how passionate some of spokespersons were of their careers, I remember thinking, is boxing something I was doing for myself or for my father?”

A sad smile appears on his face, “I think the most confusing part for me was that I wasn't exactly passionate about anything else but I also just knew deep down in my heart that boxing wasn’t for me, you know? To this day I don’t know what exactly it is I'm passionate for,” he laughs, “and I certainly don’t see myself making coffee and flipping pancakes for the rest of my life,” he jokes around, an attempt the make the atmosphere a little lighter, “but I think with the help of someone I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s okay to be a bit of a late bloomer,” he winks at you, “one day I’ll wake up and just know…”

You give him a small reassuring smile, happy to know that he’s learned his own lessons along the way, even if it required a bit of pushing.

”But back to my story,” he awkwardly laughs, the small feign of happiness gone, “Though I had realized it already… maybe it was because I was scared, or maybe it was just—” he shakes his head, unable to find the words, “I just,” he sighs, “I just couldn’t tell my dad because for me telling my dad would feel as if I was telling him that all the years of hard work were going down the drain. That the endless nights of working out and exhausting ourselves to sleep were all for nothing. And so when my dad told me that managed to get me a spot at some training camp in the states, I took it. I mean it wasn’t like I had anything going for me here in Korea, and well I needed to guarantee my own future,” he shifts uncomfortably, remembering everything a little too vividly.

“I did pretty well for a couple years, slowly began climbing the ranks, and the natural talent I had for the sport was beginning to really shape itself, even catching the attention of prominent sport reporters. Long story short, I’d find myself surrounded with nothing but yes men and leeches who wanted nothing more than a piece of my so called success,” he gazes off to the distance, ashamed of the ego that had been built as a result of such people, “and well when you get told that you’re the best, that no one can stop you, that you’re untouchable, you truly begin to believe it,” he lets out a chuckle, “so when Brandon Star, a man who was nearly out of my weight class, began to provoke me for a fight on television after winning some match and I kept hearing from my so called friends that it’d be an easy match or that it was a guaranteed win, how could I say no? Of course at the time I didn’t know that they would be betting against me… so I said yes.”

A momentary silence fills the air as Jungkook had never told this whole story to anyone, the revealing of everything somewhat freeing for him, “A part of me knew I was way in over my head, it was like a gut feeling, you know? But I needed someone, anyone, to tell me the truth and to confirm what I was thinking. I needed someone who was going to criticize me instead of nodding their head yes and pretending that everything was going to be just fine. I think that’s why when I first met you, you reminded me so much of the people who were around me in the states, faking a smile in order to spare my feelings.” Sadness clouds his features, ashamed of how he took everything out on you when all you were doing was simply being the person you always were... kind. For that, he was truly sorry.

“Anyways,” he continues, “that night of the fight, the feeling I had in my stomach was overwhelming. I told my dad, who was helping prep me backstage like he always did, that I felt nervous. That I was scared,” his voice cracks and he closes his eyes, remembering the scene as if it was yesterday, “and my dad well...he’s always struggled with separating being a father and being a trainer,” Jungkook tries to contain the sob that’s begging to come out, “but at that moment I just needed my dad. I needed him to tell me that win or lose everything was going to be fine. That he’d be proud of me no matter what,” he finally cries, and as you’re about to pull him into another hug, he vigorously shakes his head, stopping you from doing so.

“No, I need to finish thi—”

“Jungkook,” you softly interrupt because it wasn’t that you didn’t want to hear anymore, you just weren’t sure if you could hear anymore without at some point sobbing yourself,  “you don’t need to, especially if you’re not ready,” you stare at him with a sad look on your face.

“No, you deserve to know,” he firmly states, “you deserve to know,” he quietly repeats to himself. You nod your head in understanding, waiting for him to continue as he wipes away his tears with the sleeve of his shirt, composing himself.

“He told me that I’d do just fine, that the son he’s trained so long for wouldn’t fail him now,” he mumbles, the words of his father still echoing in his mind, “When you go and box, you’re supposed to enter that ring with no concerns of the real world, you’re supposed to put any negative or anxious thoughts you had outside the ring to rest. Because the moment you let just one of those thoughts seep through, you might as well hang up your gloves right then and there,” his expression hardens, “I went into that ring knowing I was going to lose…”

“From there I don’t remember too much,” he bitterly lets out a laugh, “I just remember being on a gurney and feeling the heaviness of Star’s punches beginning to weigh down on my chest, clearly having done some damage to my ribs,” he sighs, “but the moment I remember so clearly is my parents trying to make their way to me, doing their best to push their way in an effort to see me. I don’t know if it was because I was just so mad at myself,” his voice shakes, “or because I confused the look of sadness on my dad’s face with disappointment, but at the time—“ his voice falters again, “At the time I thought how ashamed he must’ve been of me,” he fights through his tears, trudging through the story, “And so as I was being lifted into the truck, I kept yelling how this was his fault, that it weren’t for him I wouldn’t be in this position,” Jungkook lifts his head up, combing a hand through his hair.

“When I got to the hospital, I refused to let my parents see me, I was just too—“ God, did he sometimes wish he could go back in time and change everything, “I was too stubborn, too ashamed with myself to even look at them. So I ran,” he says, catching you by surprise, “I needed time alone so I ran,” he repeats, “I ran before they could find me, I just got up and ran,” there’s a haunting emptiness that lingers in his voice, one that brings chills down your spine.

“I called Hobi, and I told him that I needed to redeem a favor,” your mind flashes back to the night Hobi told you what he knew, “And I thought this is what I needed. That I’d be okay with starting anew, and that if I could firmly plant my feet in Seoul then I could visit my parents in Busan, and tell them how sorry I was without them having to worry too much about what the future would hold for me… and explain to them what happened, what I felt, and why I ran. That was my plan,” his voice cracks, “I was reaching a point in my life where I felt so content, so happy. I’d wake up to see you and Hobi making breakfast while imitating some random girl group dance and think to myself how things had managed to turn out so well for me despite my failure in the states. Or when we binged on One Piece episodes that whole night while stuffing our faces in tubed ice cream and I just felt like a little kid again without a worry in the world. But then …”  

Jungkook feels the heavy feeling in his chest grow, “He passed away,” and just like that Jungkook feels as if the air has come out of his lungs, the same way it did the night he found out.

You feel your heart break at his words, recognition dawning over your face as everything was beginning to make sense. “My mom had managed to find my number in order to tell me there’d been an accident, and I just couldn’t believe it at first,” he attempts to hide his grief by stifling a sob, “I didn’t want to get up from bed at first because getting up would mean facing reality, it’d mean accepting that it wasn’t some kind of twisted fucked up nightmare but that it was real. That the last sight my dad saw of me was on some gurney,” his face twists, “that the last words I ever said to him were so—“ he breaks down, sobbing once again and this time you feel your own hot salty tears fall from your eyes, wrapping in such a tight hug that you weren’t sure if it was for his or your own sake.

He cries a sound so raw that it was almost as if the wound was still freshly cut, his hand clasping tightly onto your clothing for support. Any last defensive wall he had up was washed away by his salty tears, finally facing the final waves of grief, loss, and devastation in the arms of the person he had taken everything out on. The person he didn’t deserve at all, but had stayed nonetheless. You whisper sweet comforting words to his ear, wanting more than his grief to subside so that you could see the smile you loved so much appear on his face again.

“I just wish there was something I could’ve done differently,” he shakes his head, “so that he could know just how much his son loved and appreciated him,” he lifts his head up from your shoulder, wiping his tears away, and practicing his breathing as his chest had been heaving so bad because of his sobs, “And so that was why I completely changed that June and became cold. That was why I got so mad when I saw you in my room with the broken trophy I had gotten when I was a kid because I was just so reminded of everything,” he frowns, “and it had hit me like a freaking truck. To see my current world and the past one collide was just—“ he pauses, “overwhelming to say the least,” he concludes everything and you’re left there completely speechless.

You could’ve never in your wildest dreams even guessed that this was why Jungkook had come back to Seoul and why he had acted so cold for so long. His grievances had happened in such a short period of time, that all it took was one wrong move to set him completely off. No wonder he had kept himself so isolated … he knew he was ticking time bomb waiting to finally explode at any given moment.

The two of you stare at each other in silence, his words processing in both of your minds. You want to say the words that are currently repeating themselves in your mind, I love you. Three simple words that could make him forget his past, even if it was for a small moment in time. “Jungkook—” he looks up at you, “I—” you stutter, the words clinging onto the tip of your tongue, “I um,” you feel your chest become heavy as he stares at you in curiosity, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” you force out instead. He furrows his eyebrows, ready to protest against your apology, but you’re quick to interrupt before he gets the chance to.

“Since you’re being so honest with me, I feel like it’s only right I’m honest with you,” you bite your lip, disappointed with your cowardice, “So that like that we get a better understanding of one another,” you feign a smile.

“There’s a reason why I got so um…” you pause, “anxious before and during the galleria,” you narrow your eyes, it was now your turn to open a book that’d long been left incomplete. “I told you right? That I was an art student at Busan’s Art college but that I ended up transferring after an incident occurred…” He quietly nods, allowing you to continue, “and well I think I’m ready to talk about it,” you let out a breathy chuckle.

He stares at you in silence, ready to listen as well. “Growing up, I really liked painting,” you laugh, recalling the memory of you painting on the walls as a kid, “for some reason it was something I found myself falling further in love with every calendar year, but my parents, well they were on the more skeptical side of making a career out of it. I mean I don’t really blame them,” you sound unsure, “I mean I know that it’s hard these days to find success in the world of arts, or at least the level of success most people want to obtain but originally for me it didn’t matter,” you chuckle, remembering how naive you had been.

“Before entering college, I’d sell my little paintings and merchandise on those small-business centric websites like Etsy and stuff,” you say for example, “and you’re right, when you get told that you’re good at something, you really begin to believe it…”

Jungkook wants to interrupt and tell you that whatever your situation was, was much more different than his. That you were actually good at what you did, no, you were amazing at it. He wasn’t sure if he could listen to you talk down on yourself, but nonetheless he continues to listen.

“My first year of college I met people like Jimin who were so passionate about what they do that it really cemented the idea I had in wanting to turn my water painting into a career,” you sigh, “but in the back of my mind I always did have tiny doubts that lingered, and I always made sure not to feed them too much, but when you’re surrounded by people who are just as talented or even better than you, it gets hard not to.”

Jungkook completely understands where you’re coming from, having been in a similar position himself before. “And it didn’t help that my parents were constantly breathing down my neck about finding a different career to focus on,” you shrug “anyways,” you continue, shaking your head, “In Busan’s Art College, like many other colleges there are departments, like STEM and Business for example, but in this case things are separated by like dance, art, film, et cetera. And well if you can’t tell I’m a bit of a … pushy … person,” you laugh and Jungkook softly smiles, neither agreeing or disagreeing, “I think it’s due to me always feeling a need to overcompensate my insecurities, I guess. Like when you first moved in, in order to reassure myself that you didn’t hate me, the pushy side of me came out,” you explain, and the same way you began to understand Jungkook as he was explaining his story, Jungkook was beginning to understand you as a person.

“Well back to the focal point, I was a part of a committee club for painters within the art department, thinking that if I took charge of something, it’d increase my chances in succeeding in my career once I graduated. But the thing is, is when you join those committees I guess you could say there’s like a hierarchy of some sort, a cliché come to life,” you try your best to keep the conversation as lighthearted as you can, wanting the energy in the air to become one that was positive, a reflection of just how much you two had grown, “and well during my second year we were all assigned a project for some city poster in which we’d present to the committee’s leader, Nari, and where she and a couple of others would then choose which one was going to be used. And let me tell you, this was a career making project. The people who were going to be at the unveiling were names like Ji Hye Yeom, Haegue Yang, and more,” you sigh knowing you were coming to the rough part of the story.

“Nari had specifically told us that we were to only use materials she had chosen for us, and limited us to certain color schemes that in my opinion were the ugliest schemes I’d ever seen,” you scoff, “So me being the pushy person I am, I went ahead and continued with my original plan, which was making a watercolor painting because at the end of the day if my painting did happen to get chosen, I wanted it to be a genuine work of mine, not something that was limited by someone who was no more superior than me all because of some flimsy title,” you softly shake your head, “And so I poured my heart into it, working on it every chance I got during that school year in order to make sure that the committee would be so amazed , they’d have no choice but to choose it even if it didn’t exactly follow Nari’s regulations.”

A feigned smile graces onto your lips, refusing to cry at a situation from years ago, “I was so nervous that day to present it, but I was also so excited. Excited because I knew I created a piece that was so beautiful I—,” for a quick second your voice falters, but you’re quick to catch yourself, “I was just so sure they’d choose it,” you whisper, voice sounding frail and defeated.

“That day I presented it, I thought the silence that filled the room was because they were amazed,” you close your eyes for a moment, trying your best to push back any tears that wanted to make their way out, “God I still remember the extra specks of white and gold I added to it the night before, thinking those extra touches were really going to tip the scale in my favor,” you mumble, the embarrassment you felt that day coming back.

Jungkook feels his jaw harden, at this point an automatic response to the thought of your feelings being hurt. He didn’t know why, but to see someone as kind as you act out of character whether it be because you were mad or sad, always caused a heavy feeling in his chest. The only thing you deserved to feel was happiness and comfort, and though he wasn’t sure it was something, he, himself, could guarantee you … he’d be damned if he didn’t at least try.

“After what felt like 20 minutes, of complete silence she slowly got up in front of everyone,” you blankly stare at the trees in front of you, “I remember my heart beating out of my freaking chest for some reason, and the sweat beginning to form at my palms. And the moment she started speaking, I just went blank—” you turn to face Jungkook, who had a worrisome look on his face, “She started to berate me in front of everyone, insulting my hard work and telling me that even despite me breaking her guidelines, the painting still wasn’t any good,” you gulp, “But in fact, her words didn’t bother me at all,” you pause, “it was the comments from my supposed peers that really twisted the knife for me,” you scoff, “and then she did the unthinkable...”

Jungkook feels the heavy weight in his chest drop because he knows what you’re about to say. He knows what that woman did. And he knows why you were so hurt when he destroyed your painting, “She grabbed the canvas from the display board, and she ripped it,” you say, managing to muster up the smallest of smiles, but Jungkook knows that it's nothing more than a facade. An illusion so that he could think that you were no longer hurt by the actions of that woman.

“Once she did that, it just triggered everything else that followed after,” you furrow your brows, refusing to look at Jungkook, “I was being laughed at while having a panic attack,” you scoff, “I felt like I was in a scene from a high school movie,” you attempt to mask your hurt by making a joke.

“I ended up running out of the building, feeling as if my heart was going to explode from how fast it was pounding, and the compression in my throat was almost unbearable,” your voice cracks, “in just 20 minutes she took away any confidence I had in my artistic abilities, In just 20 minutes she made me question everything I knew about myself,” a tear finally falls from your eye, speaking the words you’d never said out loud before into the world.

“I attempted to stay at the school for a couple more weeks after that, but every time I picked up a paint brush, I just kept hearing her words along with the rest of my peers’ as well, second guessing every stroke I made on canvas. I had lost my spark,” you stifle a sob, “After that, I decided to transfer out and follow the plans’ my parents had always set out for me… and well, you know the rest,” you laugh in between your tears, wondering just how pitiful you must’ve looked. But soon enough you feel Jungkook's arms wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you into a hug so tight, you never wanted him to let go.

“Don’t leave,” you mumble into his chest.

Jungkook reassures you by cooing a small, “I won’t”, but gently you pull away once he does, holding onto his hand instead. A look of confusion washes over his face.

“No—” you shake your head, realizing he’s misunderstood, “I mean don’t leave our apartment,” you sniffle, giving him a small warm smile, leftover tears still brimming the corners of your eyes. His mouth gapes slightly open, taken back by your statement. He had completely forgotten that he was supposed to be moving out by Monday.

“We—” you shake your head, deciding that “we” wasn’t the right word in this case, “I need you,” you state, nothing but sincerity behind your words. Jungkook feels his heart skip a beat, the close-eyed soft smile that covers your face only making him smile in return.

He doesn’t need to say anything because you know … you know that he needs you just as much as you need him. You know that he’ll never leave your side from this day on because tonight was the start of a new chapter in your lives, one that included each other. Gently he pulls you into another hug, the warm fuzzy feeling in his chest being a feeling he could get used to.

“How did you even know where the venue was, or what the time the whole thing was?” you ask Jungkook, questions that hadn’t crossed your mind that day now forming.

“Hobi sent me a text that same night, very um … straightforward?” Jungkook chuckles, “It read, Art Exhibition. **** Namgang-Ro. 7:30 PM. Formal attire. You either go or you don’t. Up to you. Just don’t go crying later on that you regret not going. And well I had debated for several hours, originally chickening out and deciding to use me not having any formal suits as an excuse. That was until I walked into my room to find that Hobi had ironed one of his own for me to use,” Jungkook explains, “And well luckily I grew some balls and went and well now we’re here,” he smiles at you.

“Hey, hey, hey, don’t cut off too much of the story. We still have to remember all the good that came afterward,” you giggle, and he only flashes you an even bigger smile.

“Ah you’re right, you’re right. How could I forget?”

October 2019. 

“Happy Halloween!” you and Jungkook wave to the kid dressed as Iron Man, glancing at the clock which currently read 10:00PM. Mm you’d give it one more hour before permanently closing your doors and calling it a day even if Jungkook protested for more time.

“Happy Halloween!” you and Jungkook wave to the kid dressed as Iron Man, glancing at the clock which currently read 10:00PM. Mm you’d give it one more hour before permanently closing your doors and calling it a day even if Jungkook protested for more time.

You see, tonight was Halloween, and for the first time since you and Hobi moved to your guys’  apartment, you were giving out candy to the little kids of your apartment complex who usually went floor to floor trick or treating and it was all thanks to Jungkook. You were surprised really, you would’ve never taken Jungkook as being someone who was such a kid at heart.

After weeks of begging, he’d finally managed to convince you and Hobi to not only dress, but distribute candy. Usually you and Hobi would turn off all the lights and ignore the knocks you’d receive on the door, choosing to have a movie night than to participate in Halloween festivities.

Realistically speaking, you sorta expected Jungkook to go out and party tonight which is why when he notified you weeks prior that all of you were going to be participating in giving out candy, you couldn’t find it in you to say no. Hobi on the other hand required a lot of convincing and though he wasn’t exactly helping with the distribution of candy, watching him dressed as Batman while lazily sitting on the couch with a glass of wine in his hand was a gift in its own.

Jungkook, who desperately wanted to be a male version of Harley Quinn, had made you help him with cinching his crop top, exposing his toned lower abdomen every time he even stretched the slightest bit. It was…. quite a site … even causing several moms with their kids to “accidentally” stumble on your apartment floor again after only being there 10 minutes prior, your own little green monster finally making its appearance ….

But besides that, your favorite part of his whole costume was definitely the face/eye makeup he had done. The smoky blue and red along with the fake tatted heart under his left eye truly acting as the selling point of his costume. It just made him look very hot, more than usual. Hobi had even caught you staring at the boy on several occasions, teasingly nudging you whenever he did.

With Hobi dressed as Batman and Jungkook dressed as Harley Quinn, that of course only left you, who was currently dressed as none other than a female version of the Joker from Suicide Squad because despite how shitty the movie was, the style in which they made the Joker was still indeed very cool. Jungkook had even lent you his own natural artistic abilities to draw the tattoos where your dominant hand couldn’t firmly paint, laughing at the “twinsies” jokes you made in reference to his own tattoos. It had even given you the opportunity to ask him what each one of his own real tattoos meant to him.

Most of his tattoos, he explained, were done out of impulse. A majority of them being done in the states on a complete whim, but a couple of them held significant meaning to him. For example, his tattoo of a bandaged hand clearly represented his history with boxing. He explained that rather than get the overused boxing gloves as a tattoo, he’d get a simple bandaged hand done, deciding that it looked cooler and that you agreed with. Another example was the tattoo that translated to “Life Goes On” which was pretty self-explanatory, but meaningful nonetheless. Jungkook explained that it was one his favorite mottos growing up, and well recently it seemed to weave perfectly into his life.

But your favorite tattoo? The small One Piece manga strip he had across his left forearm. The story behind it almost caused you to shed a tear, had it not been for your white powdered makeup, you probably would've cried. You see, when Jungkook was a young boy he’d always watch One Piece as a distraction from boxing, falling in love with the story and its characters.

His dad, who’d always scold him whenever he caught him late at night watching the anime, never understood why Jungkook liked the show so much. It wasn’t until one night he somehow managed to convince his dad to watch the episode he was on, and despite not knowing anything about what was going on nor the characters’ names, his dad ended up loving the show just as much as him. The show had acted as a new bond between the two, from buying the latest manga volumes to staying up late at night to watch the newest episode. And well the strip on Jungkook’s arm was from the exact episode he had managed to convince his dad to watch with him that night. The tattoo serves as a representation of a memory he holds dearest to him, a memory of his dad.

“Ah I think that’s the last of it,” Jungkook looks into the last bag of candy he had bought, absolutely nothing left inside, “Wasn’t this fu—”

“Let’s go get a tattoo,” you interrupt, the idea coming to you out of nowhere. Jungkook tilts his head in confusion, eyebrows furrowing. A tattoo? You? Ms. I do not even have a dot of ink on my skin?

“A tattoo!?” Hobi turns from the TV, now having got his attention.

Both men stare at you in silence, thinking this was all some big joke until you begin to nod, reaffirming your choice, “Yes! All three of us! Matching roommate tattoos,” you smile, not exactly sure what had gotten into you, but surprisingly... completely okay with it.

Jungkook, noticing just how serious you were about this, begins to feel a smile form on his face. It wasn’t like he minded, he just wanted to make sure you weren’t going to regret it the next morning, “Y/N, you sure you one? I mean … you’re not someone I picture getting a tattoo, I mean think of your job,” he chuckles.

“Yeah, think of your job!” Hobi butts in, clearly not in favor of getting a tattoo.

Vigorously, you nod your head, “I’m one hundred percent sure,” you laugh, “I promise you, I won’t regret it,” you stick out your pinky finger, and Jungkook is quick to hug it with his own.

“W-What the?” Hobi stutters, unsure if it was the alcohol or shock in his system causing it. Probably both.

You turn to Hobi, “If you really don’t want it, then you don’t have to get it,” you shrug, “But at least come with us,” you smile, hoping that once you were there at the parlor shop you’d be able to convince him.

Sitting on the leather stool with your forearm displayed, the tattooist begins to prep your skin placing rubbing alcohol on the area in which you had chosen to get your tattoo. Now that you are here, you couldn’t lie, you were a bit nervous. But mostly because you were skeptical of the pain the needle would give you. 

Jungkook had described it as “a cat repeatedly scratching a sunburn”... as if you were supposed to know what that means. He also said that depending on your pain tolerance you’d either like the feeling, get used to it, or absolutely hate it. It just varied from person to person as well as the placement where you were choosing to get it.

Supposedly the inner wrist didn’t hurt, but with the sudden stinging sensation you were feeling, you were a bit unsure of that now.

“So is that your boyfriend out there?” the woman tattooing you suddenly asks, catching you completely by surprise. If she didn’t have a pricking needle against your skin , you probably would’ve jumped at the accusation.

Trying your best to keep your cool, you respond, “Oh um—” you shake your head, “No,” you awkwardly laugh, “I wish”, you think to yourself.

“Hmm,” she hums, the same smirk Jimin once gave you appearing on her face, “Sorta seemed like it out there, I mean I’m sure if he had the option he would’ve chosen to sit here right next to you and hold your hand,” she teases, and a blush appears on your cheeks.

“Oh that’s just how he is with everyone,” you reason, not wanting to feed into the delusions that Jungkook could possibly return any feelings for you, “He’s a very protective person, sometimes a little too much, but it has its benefits,” you joke around.

She shrugs, continuing to work on the small tattoo, “”Mm I don’t know, I mean the way with the way he looks at youuuu,” she sings, “because you clearly like him,” she laughs.

“No I don’t!” you pout, “We’re just close friends, that’s all….”

“Close friends don’t look at each other like that, and they’re certainly not as touchy as you two are,” she says, only causing you to scoff.

“You don’t know what you’re ta—”

“All done!” she smiles, wiping over the fresh new ink on your skin one last time, “Look how easy it was for me to get you to stop wincing so much,” she winks at you, and suddenly everything begins to make sense. She was trying to get you to relax. Was the topic she chose really the best one? No. But it worked didn’t it?

She places the plastic wrap over it, “So what do you think?” you stare at the new permanent piece of work on your skin, a small smile gracing your lips.

“Ah I—”

“Love it so much!” you flash Jungkook the two-month old ink on your skin, the digital numbers “00:00” acting as a permanent reminder of the day all three of you officially became roommates. It was small, yes, but to you it meant so much.

Jungkook pulls his own sleeve, showing you his own matching ink, “Zero o’ clock,” he hums, recalling a song he heard not too long ago on the radio.

“Ah too bad we couldn’t convince Hobi to get one,” you sigh, remembering how firm he was that night, “but we’ll get him next time,” you laugh.

Jungkook quirks his brow, “Next time?”

You nod your head, “I can see why people get addicted to these things,” you joke, “they’re like their own pieces of art,” you smile.

“Design mine next time,” he suddenly says, his statement coming off more as a command than a question. Turning to face him, you look for any small sign that he was joking.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope,” he pops the ‘p’, “I think a watercolor style painting would look amazing rightttt,” he points to the side of his ribcage, “here.”

Eyes widening in shock, you’re in complete disbelief, “You—you’re crazy!” you laugh, refusing to take him seriously.

“Ah I’m being serious Y/N,” he pouts, “Come on you know you want toooo,” he sings, softly nudging you.

You stare at him for a moment, “Are you sure?” you ask, skeptical about his seriousness.

He nods, “As sure as you were about getting that tattoo that night,” he teases, and you only roll your eyes in return.

“Mmm,” you hum, “I’ll think about it.”

“Think?! I’m your roommate!” he dramatically complains, throwing his head against your shoulder, suddenly in a clingy mood. Maybe the tattooist was right… maybe you two were a little too touchy….

You mean, just last month during friendsgiving, Hobi just had to complain in front of everyone claiming, “If you two don’t get your own room—”

“Then I think at some point this turkey is going to come back alive just to tell you two himself,” he slurs his words, wine glass in hand.

Drunk Yoongi tags in, “How do you know it’s a he?” he squints his eyes, gearing up for a debate.

Hobi rolls his eyes and makes a dismissive motion with his hand, “Not now Yoongi,” he says, causing everyone sitting at the table to laugh, and he turns his attention back to you and Jungkook, currently sitting next to each other, “Are you two going to continue playing footsies or are you finally going to—”

Seokjin interrupts by awkwardly coughing and tapping his champagne glass with his fork, getting up from his seat in the process, “I think it’s the perfect time to do our annual “What am I thankful for” toast, so I’ll begin,” he laughs, all eyes on him, “So um this year I am thankful for all of my friends who continuously stick by side throughout the years, and for the wonderful woman I’ve grown to love more and more every day,” he warmly smiles at his girlfriend, the two already seeming like a married couple despite having only met this year. Seokjin turns his attention to Yoongi, signalling that it was his turn.

He groans before getting up, peeved as to why Seokjin always insisted on doing these things, “Okay okay—”

“This is gonna take a while,” you whisper to Jungkook, Yoongi’s speech now fading into the background.

Jungkook quietly chuckles in response, “You think? How long do you think it’ll take before he starts with his  “back in my day” speech?” he jokes around.

Suddenly Yoongi’s voice becomes more audible, “Back in my day we didn’t use—”

You and Jungkook snortle a laugh, “Not long,” you respond, the two of you trying your best to keep your snickering at a low.

“So … got anything prepared?” he asks, this being his first year and all doing this kind of thing, he was a bit nervous as to what to say.

You shake your head, “Mm no, you just sorta say what’s on your mind? I guess?” you awkwardly laugh, “Trust me, as long as they have their bottles of soju next to them, whatever you say will go in one ear and out the other,” you reassure, remembering the first year you did this and gave a heartwarming speech, just for it to be ignored because Namjoon could’ve sworn he’d seen the “turkey move”. From there it led to an hour debate on whether a dead freaking turkey could still possibly be alive after having it in the oven for several hours.

He nods his head, noting what you’ve said.

After going around it was now the last toast of the night,“Ah and lastly onto our newest member in this friend group,” Namjoon, who had just finished his own speech, turns to Jungkook and pats his shoulder, “take it away,” he gives him a dimpled smile before sitting back in his seat.  

Jungkook awkwardly blinks at him for a moment, not getting up until you nudge him to do so. “Oh yeah…” he forces a laugh, “Um so where do I begin,” you almost feel second hand embarrassment, if you thought you weren’t any good under pressure, Jungkook might take the crown.

“So… The first thing I want to say I’m thankful for are the new friends I’ve made since coming to Seoul,” he spares a glance to the boys, “um..” he bites his lip, “The second thing or person may I say, that I want to thank is Hobi…” he smiles at the drunk man, “well for giving me a second chance per say,” he chuckles, “I know I don’t say it often, but I’m truly grateful for you picking up my call that night,” Hobi gives a small warm smile, “And well the last person I want really want to mention that I’m thankful for is … you,” Jungkook suddenly turns his attention down to you, catching you by surprise.

Raising your eyebrows, you wonder where this is coming from, “I um—” he feighs a small laugh, “I know I wasn’t exactly the nicest person when I first moved in, but—” he exhales a breath, “But you gave continuously gave me a chance to prove otherwise every single time until I finally got it right,” he smiles, “and well last year I had a pretty rough year,” he jokes around, “and honestly I thought coming in 2019 it’d be just bad, but you single handedly proved me wrong and made sure this was going to be a year for me to remember and well for that I’m forever grateful,” you silently blink away any tears, not wanting to get teased at for crying after this his speech was done. He breaks away the gaze he held on you in order to finish his speech off, “So with that I say … cheers everyone!”

Everyone raises their glasses of whatever it was they chose to drink, clinking it all in the middle and repeating “Cheers!” before gulping down whatever was left of their drinks. The rest of the night is filled with nothing but laughs and joy, as well as the remainder of the month, every single day creating a new memory for the three of you, until you were left with nothing but...

“The present day,” you whisper to yourself, unable to believe that the year had gone by so fast.

“What a year it’s been huh…” Jungkook softly smiles, glancing at the time on his phone which reads 11:50. 10 more minutes until the new year. 10 more minutes until zero’o clock.

“Yeah…” a comfortable silence fills the air around you, how had the hour gone by in the blink of an eye? You wonder if it’s the effect Jungkook just naturally has on people because never did you find time going by so fast unless you were with him.

“I—”

“So—”

Your cheeks become a tinge of pink , “Oh you go first—” he shakes his head.

“No, no, go ahead,” he laughs, insisting that you go instead.

This was the perfect chance, the chance to tell him about the feelings you’d grown to have for him in the past year. You just needed to grow the courage to say those three letter words that were itching to be said. It was either now or never.  

“I um, I just wanted to say thank you,” you chicken out once again, “I didn’t get the chance to say it on friendsgiving, but,” you gulp, “your speech it um meant a lot to me, and well I’m just as grateful for you,” you chuckle, “I think maybe even more.”

Had you noticed, you would’ve seen the slightly disappointed look on Jungkook’s face, “Oh..” he says, a small pout appearing on his face.

“What were you going to say?” you ask, faking the pep in your voice, ready to eternally scold yourself for being a chicken once you got back to the cabin.

He sighs, “It’s nothing really,” he shrugs, but you nudge his shoulder before he could divert the conversation elsewhere.

“Come on, just say it,” you tease, “because you either speak now or forever hold your piece,” you look at the time, “5 minutes till midnight.”

He stays silent for a moment, contemplating whether or not he should say what had been on his mind for quite some time, “I um—” fuck it, it was either now or never, “You know how I told you that I couldn’t sleep right? That it’s why I came out here…” you innocently nod your head as he continues, “well it’s cause I had already sorta been thinking about everything that’s happened this year…” he lets out a small chuckle.

“I mean isn’t it crazy?” he pushes his hair back with his hand, “Someone who was nothing more than a stranger before the clock hit twelve that night is now someone I can’t picture not being in my life,” you feel your heart flutter at his words, “And I mean to think we didn’t get along at first,” he lets out a breath of disbelief, “All because I was a person who was—” he pauses, unsure of how to describe himself from that time, “angry,” he decides to say, “I was an angry person who mad at the world,” he bites his lip in retribution for his attitude back then.

“No,” you laugh, shaking your head, “you were just someone who was… hurt. That’s all it was,” you say.

“You think?” you nod your head yes, “I never really thought about it like that,” he mumbles, “Would you do it all over again?” he suddenly asks, and you find yourself quirking your brow at his question, “Like if you had the chance would you do it all over again…” he further explains.

Without a second thought you say, “Yeah I would,” you giggle, “And you?”

He remains silent for a moment, pondering on his own question before nodding his head as well, “I wouldn’t mind doing it all over again because then I’d get to relive the process of falling in love with you all over again,” he finally says, “I’d get to pinpoint the exact moment this year that I fell in love with you.”

“In ten, nine, eight…” the families around you begin to shout the countdown, and all you can do is stare at Jungkook in disbelief of what you just heard come out of his mouth.

“Y-You love me?” you manage to stutter out, a smile now forming on your lips.

“Seven, six, five…..”

Silently, he nods his head, a loving smile on his face as he leans towards you, the flutter in your stomach only intensifying.

“Four, three, two, one….”

And as if time had stopped, his lips finally meet yours and the only thing you could feel were the placement of warm lips against yours, giving you a New Year’s kiss that would be remembered for years to come.

“Happy New Year!” the sound of fireworks popping are echoed in the background because the only thing you could focus on were the soft lips that were moving with yours. His fingers curl around yours, creating such an intimacy that you were sure you had to be dreaming. It wasn’t until you found yourself kissing him back that the reality of everything finally set in. Jungkook loved you.

Slowly he pulls away, savoring the kiss till its very last moment, “Happy New Years Y/N,” he whispers, a grin plastered on his face.

Laughing in return, you smile, “Happy New Years Jungkook.”

**

Once you and Jungkook returned to the cabin, you were met with several complaints from Hobi, “Finally! We’ve been freezing all night!” Hobi exclaimed the moment you two walked in, harshly grabbing the firewood from Jungkook’s hands. It wasn’t until he peeped your linked arms that everything began to make sense, “Ahhh,” he gives you two a toothy grin, “You guys, look who’ve finally confessed to one another,” he yells, catching the attention of everyone in the living room.

Suddenly the room is filled with several “finally’s” causing both of your mouths to slightly agape open. “What do you mean “finally” ?” you furrow your eyebrows, looking at Hobi for an explanation.

He scoffs, “Don’t act dense you two!” he laughs, “It was so obvious you two liked one another, you two were just too blind to see it yourselves,” he scolds both you and Jungkook by flicking your foreheads, “You just didn’t have to go confessing while all of us were freezing in here!”

Both you and Jungkook awkwardly laugh, a guilty look on one another’s face. “Well choo you two before I make you two clean everything up and babysit our friends!” Hobi makes a motion with his hands, and the two of you are quick to make your way upstairs into Jungkook’s room. Thankful that he didn’t punish the two of you.

Jungkook is quick to take off his puffy jacket, plopping himself onto the bed like a little kid, a loud breathy sigh following after. You stare at him for a moment, unsure of what to do, that is until you see him open his arms wide with a pout appearing on his face, “Come onnn,” he sings, “Let’s cuddle,” he shoots you a smile.

Playfully you roll your eyes before taking off your own jacket, plopping onto the spot next to him. Small feverish giggles escape your lips once he begins to give you tiny kisses all over, enveloping you in a hug so tight, it would’ve been impossible to ever doubt his feelings for you.

“Jungkook stop,” you laugh, the tickles he was now giving you making the sides of your stomach hurt, “Jung—” you attempt to push his hand away, face becoming red at just how much you were laughing, his own high-pitched laugh echoing across the walls of the room with you. From there he does a mixture of both tickling and kissing you, the two of you truly in your own world.

Soon though, your little game of tickles becomes a full on makeout session, not that you were complaining. Currently you lay under him with Jungkook leaning against you, using his arm that rested on the bed as support.

Slowly he slips his tongue into your mouth, gentle but demanding, nothing less than pure love behind the kiss. “Jungkooook,” you quietly whine once he begins to move onto your neck, every suckle lasting a little longer than the last. His hand interlocks with yours as he continues, you’re hand subconsciously playing with his hair from behind, making small twirls with the brown wavy locks of hair.

“I love youuu,” he cooes, a certain gleam to his eyes. Soon enough, his fingers were teasingly playing with the waistband of your leggings. And God, were you dripping. “Can I?” he innocently looks at you, licking his lips in the process. You’d be crazy to say no.

Nodding your head yes, he nudges your legs apart and begins to pull off the cotton fabric from your legs. You help him along the way, desperate to receive your own pleasure.

Teasingly, he swipes his index finger over the fabric of your underwear, continuing to pepper you with warm kisses on the underside of your jaw. The grip you had on his hair became tighter with every swipe, “Aren’t you wet?” he slyly chuckles, rubbing small circles with his placed finger.

“Stop teasing,” you whine, only causing him to muffle a laugh against your shoulder.

“I just wanna take my timeeeee,” he hums, placing a kiss to your cheek, “Can I take my time?” he pouts, only causing you to roll your eyes, agreeing nonetheless, “That’s my girl,” he whispers, pecking you on the lips before continuing, cupping your cheek with his … unoccupied … hand.

“God you’re beautiful,” he says staring at your pleasured expression, a result of the friction between his finger and your underwear becoming more intense.

“Jungkook,” your voice shakes, wanting needing him to do something before the muscles in your leg spasm any more.

“Shh shh not too loud,” he softly mumbles, because considering how drunk the boys’ were, any loud noise and you’d have someone idiotically stumbling into the room in order to find out whatever the noise was. Not wanting you to complain any more, he slips his finger under your underwear, pressing both his middle and index finger to the centerfold of your sex, “Look how wet you are,” he smirks, coaxing another moan from your lips.

Jungkook couldn’t lie, he’d envisioned this moment a couple of times before, but to have it becoming a reality was completely different than what he imagined. It was indeed better.

“I bet you’d love for me to take these off,” he teasingly pretends to pull down your panties, knowing exactly what he was doing.

“Please Jungkook,” you cry, how was it possible to already be on the verge of releasing when he hadn’t even done anything explicit yet? He begins to move his fingers up and down your clit, coating his fingers with your wetness, preparing to insert his fingers in your aching hole, “Please—” you attempt to whimper his name again, but his lips passionately kiss you before you get the chance to. It’s once he does that, that the energy in the room shifts, becoming one of playful teasingness to one of passion and love. It’s while he kisses you that he finally sinks his single finger into your pussy, your wetness helping him in gradually picking up the pace until soon enough he’s able to slip in another. Your moan being suppressed by the pressing of his lips against yours, softly nibbling on your lower lip.  

“So fucking tight,” he mutters, the squelching sounds coming from your pussy bringing him a sense of pleasure, “Can’t wait to make love to you,” he whispers watching as your eyes lazily roll back, the sight being one he’d remember for a very long time.

“J—Just like that Jungkook,” you manage to stutter out, your arousal dripping in and out of your pussy as he continues with his motions. By now you feel his hardened member kneading against panties, his self-restraint holding on by a string. God, did he wanna fuck your brains out already. Had you been some kind of one night stand and he probably would already be doing so, but you, well you were different. You were his. And he was going to make sure you knew it to.

With his other hand he begins to slide his way under your shirt, caressing your breasts while fingering you, “Take off the shirt,” he mumbles while planting kisses on your neck, and you’re quick to obey, pulling the shirt over your head and uncaringly throwing it onto the floor.

By now you were dressed in only your underwear and bra, which to you seemed a bit unfair and so purposely you begin to play with the hem of his shirt, in hopes that he’d get the message. When he doesn’t, you momentarily stop him from kissing you any further, mumbling a tiny, “Mm take off your shirt,” causing him to let out a breathy laugh. He does as told, exposing the toned torso you’d find yourself frequently gawking over for in the past year. Because truly, his body proportions were insane.

Gently pulling him from his hair, you deepen the kiss by running your other hand across his bare back, the warm skin to skin touch providing another level of intimacy. “Let me eat you out,” he murmurs against your lips, waiting for a simple three letter word so that he can finally pull off your panties.

Instead you give him a small “MmHm,” with a small nod which in this case would suffice as he was sure you were too lost in your own world of pleasure to properly respond. Delicately he removes your underwear, parting your legs in between before lowering his head.

Without saying a word, he runs his finger against your slit, licking and sucking on the fluid that dripped from his finger. What. A. Fucking. Tease. “Jungkooook,” you whine like a brat, the heat you felt below almost unbearable at this point.

“What a pretty pussy,” he rasps, gives your clit a gentle kiss before suckling against it, his saliva mixing with your fluids. Immediately you feel a wave of pure bliss, your fingers slightly trembling at just how good the sudden sensation felt.

“Oh God Jungkook,” you needily whisper once he slips his finger back inside, pushing it deep into your core all while eating you out. Your breathy moans along with the sound of your wet pussy being toyed around with, fill the room. With your eyes half-open, you manage to look down at the sight of Jungkook licking through your folds, his messy hair covering most of his face until you use your hand to push it back, wanting to savor the view in front of you.

“Just look at you,” he groans, admiring the view of your back arched along with your thighs which slightly quivered at the flicks of his tongue, “All fucking mine, you got that?” he asks.

When you don’t respond, he inserts a second finger, catching your attention.

“Yes!” you cry at the sudden jolt of pleasure, his fingers scissoring inside of you, “I’m all yours,” you answer and to that he smirks, curling his fingers inside you. His ego at a level unthinkable. From there he continues to suck and slurp any remnants of your wetness, ignoring your warnings that you were about to orgasm.

It isn’t until he feels a quick rougher than usual tug to the hair followed with a gentle release that he knows you’ve came. Only then does he stop, quickly making his way to sweetly kiss you as you ride through your orgasm. You barely manage to kiss him back, too overwhelmed by orgasm he just brought down on you.

He cups your face once again, making out with you once again even if you were lazily kissing him back, “Jungkook,” you croak out, “Make love to me,” you dazedly whisper, recalling his words from earlier, and without a single word he begins to kiss you again, this time even more passionately (if that was possible) your words triggering a certain fire within him. And despite being in a post-orgasm state, you kiss him with just as much passion as he is doing to you.

By now the two of your hands’ were entangled with each others’ hair, Jungkook roughly pressing his clothed erection against the barity of your pussy. Releasing one of his hands from his hair, he smoothly travels down your back, removing the clasp of your bra with his hand. Deciding not to question his skills, you help further remove it until you’re only left completely nude. Your tits now on full display for him.  

He soon begins to tenderly suck on your hardened nipples, one hand caressing the opposing tit whenever he was sucking on one, providing equal attention to both. You begin to play with the button of his black pants, desperately ready to have Jungkook completely inside you. Jungkook notices your lack of patience, deciding that just this time he’d give you what you want.

Pushing himself off you, he begins to unbutton his pants, your heart now beating out of excitement once you see the band of his black boxers. This was really happening. And though you’d seen Jungkook’s cock before, specifically with a woman having it wrapped inside her mouth, to see it this time around was definitely much more shocking than the first…. Was he always this big? The veins that run along his fair-colored cock only add to it’s intimidating appearance.

Pushing himself back on you, he sloppily kisses you all over, from your mouth to the side of your neck, slowly making his way downard. His cock teases the slit of your entrance, coaxing along the delicate folds of your pussy. Intertwining his hand with yours, he looks at you one last time, “You ready?” he breathes out.

Biting your lip, you slowly nod your head yes, his head then slowly pushing into your tight entrance, a groan coming from both of your lips, “God I fucking love you,” he breathily moans beside your ear.

“I love you too,” you whisper in return, his gaze never leaving yours as his cock tortuously enters you inch by inch, the grip you have on his hand tightening with every passing second, “Oh my god,” you whimper, his pre-cum along with your prior wetness making the push inside more bearable.  

It isn’t until you’re completely filled up by his cock that he slowly begins to move. Each and every deep thrust garnerning both whines and mewls from you, “Fuck,” he moans, his voice raspy from pleasurable sensation he was feeling. Somehow he manages to continue to plaster kisses all over you, his hands tightly wrapped around your waist as he continues to grind his hips against yours, making nothing but love to you.

Your hot walls now take him with ease, the small pressure you had originally felt having slowly faded away. He keeps his thrusts at a moderate pace, wanting to savor the moment.

“J—Jungkook,” you cry out, feeling your second orgasm coming as you wrap your legs around his waist. He begins to pick up his pace, “Faster,” you moan, remembering that he was definitely okay with having rough sex, considering how many times you’d have to hear other woman moan just how harder they wanted back in the beginning of last year. Who said he couldn’t do the same for you?

“Faster?” he questions, a certain spark now in his eye, “You sure?” eagerly you nod your head yes, too lost in the idea of your possible orgasm to think of the repercussions of your answer. Because soon you find yourself getting completely fucked out, the pace of his thrust becoming almost uncomparable to the pace he was going before, this time not caring at all for rhythm. By now you're sure that your different number of cries and moans could be heard from downstairs, but honestly you could give less of a fuck.

The sound of your skin slapping with his echo against the wooden walls, your eyes screwing shut as you felt your high come. His rapid thrust continuing as he fucks you into oblivion, “Just look at you, creaming on my fucking cock,” he groans, by now sweat was forming on the creases of his forehead, “and to think I get to have you like this all to myself, every single day,” he chuckles, the tight feeling in his abdomen signalling to him that his own release was coming.

“Cum in me Jungkook,” you whine, and with that he does, his white milky cum coating your walls from the inside and out. He admires the view in front of him, the sight of you completely fucked out with his cum dripping from the entrance of your pussy, wondering how he got so lucky.

Out of breath, the two of you cuddle with one another, your eyes half closed, ready to knock out at any moment. But before you do, Jungkook peppers one last kiss onto your cheek, mumbling a final “I love you,” ready for the new memories this year would bring for the two of you.

a/n : ahhhhhh! finally finished with my finals so i was able to finally get this done! for some reason i sorta got attached to this couple, i think it’s because we got to see literally every month of their forming relationship so i just ended up really loving the dynamic between the two lmao. butttt all stories must come to an end :( and i’m very happy with how this story came out, but who knows maybe we’ll this couple again in the future. anywayssss like, reblog, comment, message me an anon or even directly! anything is appreciated (I swear im not a mean person) and ill see yall next time! 💞 

mini taglist: @ggukkieland​ @unicornbabylover​ 

[steampunkforever]

Coming out of The Invitation (yes, I saw it in theaters) I will admit that it wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be, further retrospectives really rub in how dismal and ultimately forgettable the movie really was.

in his Seminal film Get Out, Jordan Peele cast a black main character alone in a family of rich white socialites who then turn on him. It’s a poignant criticism of racism in America and a downright elegant use of horror to highlight racial inequalities. The writer and the director of The Invitation got together one night, snorted lines of whatever makes people with twitter checkmarks deserve the death penalty, and said “we can make something magnitudes worse, right?”

One striking detail was the racial politics of the film. And by that, I mean that I’ve seen Turkish propaganda with more nuanced approach to caricatured racial allegories. Y’know, from Turkey, the ethnic-cleansing-ing Neo-Fascist dictatorship.

Simply put, the racial dialog was not focused on racism, systemic or otherwise, but on a strawman concept of a “white person” that the writer decided to pummel with buzzwords harvested from a twitter antiracist. This would’ve been cutting commentary in 2015 maybe, but considering that the recently departed queen doesn’t even qualify as a colonizer, it’s simply bad writing parroting racial essentialism. Side note: If you talk like this or think like this narrative, you are likely to fall for ethno-nationalism (you know, as if we didn’t have enough fascism right now), and furthermore you are an asshole and I want nothing to do with you.

The actual racism within the film is so badly written it feels gauche even for the author of My Immortal. The writer (whose previous films garnered a 0% and a 37% on rotten tomatoes) even went so far as to trot out that treasured phrase all fanfiction authors use: “Your Kind.” Every attempt at showing a microaggression was offensive in how overdone it was. This is a genre steeped in racial anxiety since day one and all you thought to do was whitewash Dracula of all people and also make one of the maids asian? I had to stifle a laugh in several places during The Invitation, because for as much as I wanted to razz the film, laughing at what’s been set up onscreen as a Serious Racist Offense isn’t great optics, no matter how wattpad-esque the writing.

On the subject of fanfiction, this is basically what the plot of The Invitation was. The entire setup is My Parents Sold Me To 1D, except it’s just a weird abstraction of Dracula. The plot revolves around our Singular Black Character (An orphan!) finding long lost british ancestry with landed gentry who invite her out to a wedding where she, a broke college student artist with a dead end job, is whirled away to a world of lavish beauty and servants who keep disappearing (WHERE do they find replacements and are the benefits just that good?) She then falls in love with bad boy Zayn The Impaler who woos her by not being like other rich titled british moneyed heirs, only for the twist to be that he just wants her to join his vampire harem that needs three wives from three royal houses or whatever.

It gets a bit murky after that and I went to the bathroom a couple times to have a panic attack because the movie wasn’t scaring me enough I guess, but the point I’m making here is that I’ve written higher concept Nick Jonas/Shrek fanfiction. I’m surprised the script didn’t have the main character listed as “Y/N” to be quite honest.

Even as I write SO many words on a film I’m begging you not to see, (Blair Butler, if you’re reading this I want to collaborate and make your next film worse but in a fun way), I’m noticing a trend in larger B-movie cinema as of late. Marry me, The Lost City, and now The Invitation all have absolutely fanfiction-level premises and writing. I say this in a manner that is neither charitable nor pleased.

This isn’t a Netflix original, nor is it name-swapped fanfic adaptation drivel like 50 shades (unique market segment of enticing female versions of guys who think Joker and Harley are couples goals) or After (unique segment of women who already read the 1D fanfic this was based on). This is supposed to be a B movie for goodness sake, why is it this bad! “No Fighting, this is the war room!”

Oh yes, this is about vampires. Sunlight doesn’t hurt them but they still sleep during the day. Also your dracula needs to be married to three of them for some reason. It keeps the houses of parliament balanced or something. Racism stops mattering at some point here, probably around the fifth keybump or so, but one of the vampire wives is Slavic Elvira and the other is implied to be Lucy Westrena. The Harkers show up as an older couple devoted to Dracula’s service--a little fanfic-style cameo--and I laughed louder than I should’ve at the pure hackery of it all. I once wrote a steampunk avengers fanfic on the Lego Dot Com Message Boards with more nuance than that.

This whole movie had such a promising basic framework (old world vampires force an inexperienced American woman into a shotgun/stakepoint wedding at an isolated estate, commentary on systemic issues to follow) and fell so hard and disappointed me more that any B movie should.

One thing this movie did, even with flat and uninspiring camerawork, was manage to look very pretty. Partly set design and partly gorgeous colorwork, I think we’ve finally hit the point that B movies of the past did, where they can end up very pretty even with no artistic ambition, but this time it’s not the natural beauty of film stock, it’s a top notch colorist. I really hope this trend continues, but not the careers of the director and writer. Go see Nope instead, I think it’s still in theaters.

[leedee013]

Heartstopper (Netflix)

Oh boy oh BOY am I overjoyed to finally see this show!!!!

I’ve been following the comic fairly religiously since 2020, and the fact that the Netflix adaptation was so true to the original content was fantastic.

Because let me tell you, when I say that I watched the entire show while smiling like an IDIOT, I’m not lying. I was worried my face would be sore. It’s like, me watching Heartstopper was literally Nick when he’s watching Charlie play the drums UGH it was so good

I simply am so happy that something like this series exists. That it CAN exist. I’ve watched shows progressively open up to portraying LGBTQIA+ people as ACTUAL PEOPLE and I can’t even begin to tell you all how different my life would be and would have been if this had come out eight years ago. I never got these experiences in high school. I could have, but I was too afraid. I'm just happy that shows like these might make it possible for more people going through the same/similar stage in life to be able to accept themselves more readily. Back when I was in high school, That Steven Universe Episode and idk, Night Vale? were about the epitome of representation that I saw in media. But I think that Heartstopper is my favorite, for a lot of reasons.

For starters, the story of Nick and Charlie warms my whole heart. There’s a lot of love packed into it, and I have to be honest, I’ve read it so many times but I still feel like crying from how beautiful this is every time. To see 1. Trans 2. Bisexual 3. Questioning representation that’s so explicit and well done is rare. And that’s not even brushing on the topic of the diversity we see in these characters as well, considering that these characters are not only part of the alphabet mafia, but several are black, asian, mixed race, etc. as well.

As a fan of the webcomics and books, I’m really looking forward to how the rest of the series will be! If there’s another season, I know we’re in for some really heavy topics, and I’m curious to see how Netflix will handle it.

Also, can I just say that I ADORE the little animations of leaves or sparks or hearts that appear every now and then???! It’s such a great homage to the source material and makes the whole show radiate with that softer, more lively feeling. Also, WE SEE NELLIE?!!!!!

I also have to admit that I love how the show digs into other characters outside of Charlie and Nick. We get to see more of Tara and Darcy and more of Elle and Tao!!!! I love these sidelines, and I appreciate how they all mesh together so well. I really don’t appreciate the erasure of Charlie’s little brother so far, especially since it’s such a cool detail about him (middle child represent!) and I’m still confused about why Imogen is in there? Maybe I’m just forgetting her from the comics? She's a sweet human and I think her little crush on Nick is adorable (would it be possible for anyone in her shoes to NOT have a crush on him?????), and I really like how she's understanding and doesn't push Nick after he asks to stay friends.

I cannot stress enough how much I love this series and this show. It would have changed my life DRAMATICALLY if I had read this when I was 15, and I’m still finding myself changing because of it now. And that’s because I can see myself in every single one of the focal characters. For me, seeing Nick be an openly questioning kid who doesn’t want to announce that he’s questioning until he understands himself better? And then the recognition and acceptance of his bisexuality? That’s mind blowing and also so wild to see represented. I went through that. To see Tao’s fear of being left behind and out of the loop? I feel that. I had a friend of mine actually abandon me for “romance”. I put that in quotation marks because, to make a very long story short, it was an incredibly unhealthy foundation for a relationship. But both her and her boyfriend used my fear of being abandoned against me and gaslit me for a year. She stopped talking to any other person and eventually became so disconnected from everyone else at our school that she transferred. I lived Tao’s nightmare, and I can understand why he was so afraid for and protective of Charlie. I understand Charlie’s feelings of being a waste of space, or an unnecessary burden for others. There was a long stretch of time where it was my dream to just run away and be alone forever so that I couldn’t hurt anyone else. And part of me still wishes for that. I’ve been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety, and I understand all too well that desire to remove myself from the equation or being too sick with myself to eat. Tara and her discomfort in how the way people treat her changes after she comes out. Hell, I can relate to Charlie's dad because there have been plenty of times when I've picked up friends from bad situations.

^my actual face while watching this show (minus the times when I'm casually sobbing)

So please, for the LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD, watch this show, read the comics, and take care of yourself. 🍂🍂🍂