#also if anyone knows any of the authors tumblrs which i missed please feel free to add

[t00thpasteface]

Hey! Do you have any hawkahy fic recs?

:D first let me start by saying,

second, my biggest rec is always always always for you to just trawl around ao3 and tumblr on your own time and leave no stone unturned (or at least un-glanced-at). i'm happy to say i think there's enough stuff floating around out there where no one person's rec list is gonna cover every fic you might end up liking, so i encourage you to root around and see what hidden gems you stumble on. kudos, hits, and comments are not the be-all end-all indicator of fic quality, and there's really no way to tell if you'll like something without giving it a fair shake first.

now getting into the actual meat of it:

i can't possibly talk hawkahy fic without mentioning my wonderful friend @quordleona03 and her Sins & Virtues series, which has been ongoing since i was still in elementary school. the latest installment, All We Know, is currently holding the bronze medal for the longest mash fic on ao3 and is still being updated. if you like your fics long, angsty, and thoroughly researched, look no further than that series! she also has some unaffiliated/standalone hawkahy fics on her profile. quordle is also the archivist for the late Iolanthe, who is credited as the founding hawkahy fic writer— more on that topic is written on her memorial ao3 profile and on the S&V series page linked above. famously, in 2004, around the time S&V was first being written, the onion described erotic hawkahy fanfic as being "the worst humanity has to offer", which could only have been referring to either (or both) of these two talented authors. via the iolanthe memorial account, quordle also runs a hawkahy fic collection on ao3 and accepts submissions for it, though you may need to poke her on her main account if there's an outstanding submission you think she missed that you'd like her to look at.

other fics i recommend (mind the ratings):

Hot Under the Collar

The Touch of Your Hand

i'm afraid to come home in the dark

saying grace over an empty table

You're The Tops

Reach Out, Touch Faith

This Must Be The Place

Pulse

Jericho

Soft/Full

and Shearing Season was a generous gift for yours truly!

as you can probably guess from that list: my tastes are equally fluffy and smutty. i like my porn with feelings, and my feelings with porn. hawkahy is a very sweet and emotionally fraught ship that simultaneously works great as a depraved pornographic freakfest. the best fics have both in equal measure! ^_^

i also write fic! you can find me on ao3 under the name RiskyBiznu. i've only posted 6 hawkahy fics so far, but generally they lean towards comedy and i think all of them are tagged as some variant of fluff.

lastly, i'd like to also say that i am very picky and also trying to keep this list brief, so for anyone else reading: please don't take it personally if your stuff isn't on my list! plus, anyone is free to reblog this with recs of their own, as well as a link to their own stuff, if they so wish. the more the merrier!

[helenarlett-rex]

Reintroduction

So I took sort of an extended break from all social media for a while after RL was getting to be too stressful for me. I was still checking in here and there periodically but for the most part I wasn't here or anywhere else. It was for my own health. And coming back now feels like,

With all the crap that's been happening here on tumblr it's kind of sad but understandable to come back and see so many of the people I knew and interacted with regularly are no longer here. And I'm going to miss them a lot. I don't think anyone who had been with me from the beginning is still here. But that isn't to say I don't still see a handful of my mutuals still here and it's great to see you all. Hi everyone! Thanks for still existing!

But that said, I feel like maybe it's time to start over and rebuild. And I don't mean start over as in somewhere else... More like, reintroduce myself as I go about rebuilding my online presence. So let's start with that. A reintroduction.

My name is Helen Arlet. (Although my full title is, Her Grace The Reverend Dr. Helen Arlet, Duke of Merania, PhD. Yes... It's all legal... I have a title of nobility, a doctorate in metaphysics, and an ordination.) I'm an AMAB Demigirl so my pronouns are she/they. I'm a Gray Asexual. I'm also a self-published author of adult literature most popular within the Furry and Vore communities. You can find some of my books for sale on Amazon but my free content (which actually makes up the bulk of my work at this point) can be found on my eka's account, here...

I'm a furry myself, with my primary fursona being that of a T-Rex, although I do have sort of a "secret sona" that may come to light at some point... Because I often stay very in character when I post I have been mistaken as otherkin before, but so as not to give that community a bad name, I would like to point out that I am not... as far as I know... I am however quite friendly with the otherkin community and love chatting or hanging out with them when I can.

I'm also an old-school punk with very left leaning ideals. I'm... not young... I mean, come on, I'm literally a dinosaur... T-Rex... Rawr! But I'm stuck in that weird area where my status as a gray muzzle in the Furry community is debatable. I have been on tumblr since the beginning though and they still haven't managed to get rid of me. But I am old enough to have actually been a punk in the 80s. A very young one at the time, but I was... and still am...

I had been a librarian for the last decade, but recently lost that job about a year and a half ago when my old boss retired and was replaced by a narcissistic sociopath. And I don't use those terms lightly. I do mean that in the clinical sense... She fired me along with anyone else who was perceived to be a threat to her position, had been there longer than her, knew more than her, was queer, was disabled, or she believed had insulted her in some way. I now work at a used video game store. I won't name it, but it's the second biggest chain of used video game stores behind Game Stop.

And in most recent developments, I now own a partial fursuit, (of my secret sona) and I have finally managed to become a total affront to the church by achieving the status of Ordained Minister, making me one of the very few in my state who will actually perform LGBT+ weddings. Suck it.

Things I will post on this account:

Furry stuff

Vore related content

Dinosaurs

Sharks

LGBT+ stuff

Random reblogs of stuff I find funny or politically important

Posts related to my writing, including links to stories themselves

Answers to any questions I get asked

So please feel free to talk to me if you want. I'm always happy to talk. (Or silently stalk my account and just reblog things you like without ever saying anything to me. You could to that too...) Or even tag me in stuff you want me to see and I'll probably reblog it.

[neymarjrwifeyy]

The walking dead x reader

AUTHORS NOTE: Hii this is my first official story on tumblr! So feel free to let me know how y’all feel about it! please DON’T steal my work! If you do you will have to talk with my lawyer which is me!!

Summary: Y/N finds her and her dog trapped in a mysterious house, while searching for sanctuary. And needs to find her way out before they find her.

Status: ongoing

Warnings: none really just a little bit of blood and killing, let me know if I missed any tho!!

——————————————————————————

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a girl, that girl was named Y/N who was currently walking through the city with her pet dog, Kane. She was looking for sanctuary, in abandoned houses, but also being careful Incase there was anyone home. She was scouting for canned food, water, anything she could get her hands on. She came upon a house and decided to look inside of it. She walked up to the house, taking her crossbow off her back and pointing it at the door.

Her dog knew better than to start barking, so It only growled quietly warning her if anything was in sight. She banged on the door to see if there was anyone inside the house, Kane started growling lightly, she slowly opened the door ready for anything standing in her way. A walker aka a zombie came tumbling down the stairs, she put her crossbow back on her back with a heavy sigh while walking into the house Kane followed behind her. She didn’t like killing walkers since they were just people who didn’t make it. She reached in her belt that contained a bunch of little things that she’ll need, and took out a long knife. She sent the knife through the walker's skull with one hit, her dog whining quietly walking into the house. The walker fell to the ground with a heavy thud. After the walker was dead Y/N grabbed the walker by the arms and dragged it outside down the porch while Kane was searching for anything he could get his paws on.

2 hours later

Y/N and Kane sit on the couch together eating in silence, during the 2 hours Rosalie had managed to find some canned beans and surprising dog food and 2 bottles of water. She poured water into a bowl for Kane and drank the other one. She had also patched up all the doors, the front and back, and closed all the doors in the house. Y/N decided to do something with her hair since it kept on getting in her face, so she put her curly brunette hair into a loose bun on the top of her head, while finally deciding to do something since she was quite bored. She got up from the couch and put the empty can of beans on the table. Kane looked up at her and slightly turned his head to the side.

“Let’s go do somethin baby” her heavily southern accent coming out, Kane got up with excitement and followed her around like a lost puppy he is. She walked up the stairs and saw three doors, she looked down at Kane who was already looking at her innocently “ which one boy?” she asked Kane. He got up from next to her and walked to the door to the far left side “alrighty” she muttered, and walked toward the door she opened the door and was greeted with pink painted walls and pretty stuffed animals laid across the floor. She walked up to the little table that was damn near molded, what she didn’t notice was the blood stains on the table next to an elephant stuffed animal. She looked across the table seeing many little things scattered around it, but the thing that mainly pulled her interest was a picture of a family. Y/N felt her whole body shiver, her breaths got heavy, she felt like she was gonna throw up, the picture contained a mom and dad with two kids, an older boy and younger girl. The only one not smiling in the picture was the dad, he looked miserable, she thought the flannel he was wearing looked familiar but she just brushed it off.

She put the picture on the table and saw a book on the floor. She walked towards it while Kane watched from afar. She sat on the floor, little did she know that something of the unexplainable was going to happen. The book, it’s called ‘Speak’ she’s never heard of before, she opened it only to see a piece of paper. She placed the book next to her and opened the paper.

“ If you are reading this, Get out! Now! This house is unexplainable!!! Leave while you can!”

She brushed her eyebrows together in confusion, she put the paper in the back pocket and stood up, Kane started growling loudly, “What’s wrong boy?” she said he kept growling where she was standing. Frustrated and confused she stomped her foot on the ground lightly. Something creaked below her, “ WHAT THE FU-” she fell through the ground. Landing on concrete, she landed on arm and head smacking into the ground. She passed out. Kane started barking trying to see if anything was wrong.

2 hours later

Y/N woke up with a pounding headache, she felt something dripping down her head she lifted her hand and whipped it away. She looked at her hand and saw it was crimson red. “Shit” she muttered her body was aching in pain from the 12 foot fall, she slowly got up from the ground and looked for any source of light. She went to her belt and pulled out a small flashlight, and tapped it a few times until it turned on. She flashed her light “what the hell man” she said her face turned from confusion to unease what she saw she couldn’t ever imagine. 2 dead body’s next to each other, a table of computers, a dead body on the table, she swallowed down the urge to throw up. She slowly walked up to the table with computers and many types of chemicals in bottles, she clicked the computer and it turned on it showed a little girl, and basic facts about her, one specific thing caught her eye, cause of death: disease?. “Weird”.

——————————————————————————

Lmkkk how y’all feel about this but I have Wattpad lmk is y’all want the user!! Part 2 will be out very soon.

[anotherworldanotherbody]

Hello! :)

Hello, my name is Isa and I am a beta reader :)

Welcome to my page! <3

This is a blog dedicated to beta reading,

I used to do some beta reading in the past and have decided to take it up again, something to do in my free time and that I enjoy :)

Down below will contain the fandoms I write for, specific pairings, how to get in touch with me, which sites I’m a part of and what I'm comfortable reading! 

All authors are welcome, I’d be happy to beta read for anyone!

This blog will also contain any fanfics that I’d like to reblog!

I will also like to note I've never written or run anything like this before! So I apologise if there is anything missing or I've gotten something wrong! :)

I am happy to do anything, whether short or long, oneshot or series!

How to get in contact! <3

Send a message in my inbox! 

You can choose to send a message in the inbox for any reason! To ask which pairings I’ll beta read for, different fandoms or to just say hi! 

Send me a private message!

Send me a private message on tumblr! This is probably the best way to get in contact for me to beta read for you! But you can send a private message for any reason!

Email me! 

I have a separate email I made dedicated to beta reading only! So don’t be afraid to send me an email if that’s your preferred way of getting in contact for me to beta read! Please message me privately or send an ask in my inbox to get my email!

Fandoms I will beta read for! <3

Alice in Borderland

Attack on Titan!

Tokyo Revengers

BTS

Please note that these will likely change at some point! These are only the fandoms I am most invested in at the moment! <3

Specific Pairings I will beta read! <3

Chishiya Shuntaro x Reader/OC

Levi Ackerman x Reader/OC

Eren Yeager x Reader/OC

Sano Manjiro/Mikey x Reader/OC

Ran Haitani x Reader/OC

Rindou Haitani x Reader/OC

Kurokawa Izana x Reader/OC

Baji Keisuke x Reader/OC

Hanemiya Kazutora x Reader/OC

Sanzu Haruchiyo x Reader/OC

Ryuuguuji Ken/Draken x Reader/OC

Any of the BTS members x Reader/OC

What I am comfortable reading! <3

I am comfortable beta reading pretty much anything!

From Angst, Fluff, Smut, etc. to Dark/Yandere content!

But if there are any specific warnings/trigger warnings you feel like I should know I would be grateful if you were to tell me! <3

Other sites I am active on! <3

I am active on Tumblr, Wattpad and AO3!

However you will only find me with this user on Tumblr! I would prefer to keep my other accounts private until I’ve made new ones! :)

A bit about me! <3

My name is Isa and I am over 18 years old. :)

I have a love for fanfiction and have read quite a lot over the years!

I’ve even written my own before! (And in the process of writing!)

I am part of many fandoms and have a love for music too,

I have a passion for baking and photography as well!

A few more things might be added to this page, which will be updated accordingly. :) 

If no one would like me to beta read then this blog will be full of fanfictions I adore. <3

Thank you! <3

[ancientstone]

Fic Rec List (A Tag Game!)

I was tagged by @iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid - Thank you!!

Rules: Post links (Ao3, ff.net, etc.); specify fandom/pairing/etc; don’t answer the same fic twice - spread the appreciation; tag other people; you don’t have to answer all the questions, but leave them in the list so the next person can answer if they want.

Fandoms mentioned are: Transformers, The Umbrella Academy, M*A*S*H, Over The Garden Wall, TMNT, Good Omens, Sherlock, Ducktales (2017)

(I’m going to cheat a little and ignore the *this month* parts because we’re only 2 days into 2020!)

1. Favourite complete fic you’ve read this month (multiple chapters/parts):

Transformers: Auf Nimmerwiedersehen by @morethanmeetstheass I love everything about this story (and series) and you know a fic is good when all you want to do is shake some brain cells into the characters *side eyes Blitzwing and Ratchet*. I often come back and reread this!

2. Favourite complete fic you’ve read this month (one-shot):

The Umbrella Academy: little white lies by @in-tua-deep because I adore everything they write and this one made my entire week when it was published! Just...A* Five analysis! Brilliant writing!! Great pacing!!! I love all of it! Also Klaus deserves extra kudos for being The Best sibling to his complex gremlin of a brother

3. Favourite WIP you’ve read this month:

The Umbrella Academy: If That’s Love by cylikkious Just...oof. So much oof. Major oof. Amazing character and relationship analysis between Five and Dolores and a take on them which you don’t see all that often. It’s simply *chefs kiss* Also drunk Five is always fun to read (and by fun I mean gut-wrenching!)

4. One fic/series you’ve read which you keep coming back to again and again:

Sherlock: The Elephant In The Room by flawedamythyst This is the fist fic I ever bookmarked back in 2013 and it feels like it only gets better each time I revisit it. Super writing, great at capturing the characters, and a good mix of sweet, tender moments and pure, painful angst!

5. Most underrated fic you’ve read this year:

M*A*S*H: The Very Model by the_aleator Yep, I cried when reading this. The pain. The angst. The tears. It just hits you right where it hurts and OW be prepared to be thinking about it for the rest of the day! Great writing and pacing as well!

6. Most underrated fic you’ve read EVER:

Over The Garden Wall: Secret Santa by skimmingthesurface Basically all of their otgw fics are awesome, but this one? Amazing, spectacular, incredibly winter-y and Christmas-y and festive! I love how they write Greg, and his relationship with his brother as well as Sara and all of Wirt’s other friends.

7. Favourite whump/angst fic of the year:

The Umbrella Academy: And Then There Was Five by maremote Five and Klaus running a plant shop? It’s more painful then you’d think! I love the way they write the brothers, and the brothers’ relationship with the plants, and all the pent up emotions Five has throughout. Another fic I’ve constantly come back to!

8. Favourite hurt/comfort fic of the year:

The Umbrella Academy: The Moons Laughs by @ladyorigami Me?? Crying constantly over this fic?? Nope, it’s just people cutting onions I don’t know what you’re talking about. I certainly don’t think about this fic every night, and how much Five needs a hug. Nope. Not me. Must be someone else.

9. Favourite fluff fic of the year:

Ducktales (2017): Peace and Quiet by DrummerGirl231 It wouldn’t be a fluff fic without some feels, but Scrooge is the best in this and I love him with his tiny niece and nephew. I recommend all of DrummerGirl’s Ducktales fics, because they’re excellently written and deserve to be swamped with kudos!

10. Favourite gen fic of the year:

TMNT: Hanging By A Turtle by @camsthisky Soft turtle bros? Check. Brotherly moments? Check. Hurt/comfort? Check. This fic has everything I’d ever want! I love Donnie’s p.o.v. and the way the feels. just. keep. hitting. It’s perfect, and I’ve read it so many times now that I’ve lost count!

11. Favourite smut fic of the year:

Nope, not my thing!

12. Favourite fix-it fic of the year/ever:

The Umbrella Academy: Contagious Hope by @tripleforte This will never not make me sad and the ending’s so bittersweet but that’s exactly how I like my fics so I’m actually happy through the tears! I love the alternative lives of the siblings, and how Five just?? Plonks down in the middle of all of it?? Like come on guys let’s become a family?? Perfect!

13. Favourite crack-fic fic of the year:

I searched around with the ‘tags to include’ bar on my bookmarks and according to that no fics I bookmarked this year had that tag, so I’ll leave this one be

14. Favourite sick-fic this year:

The Umbrella Academy: Get Me Out Of My Head by UnrememberedSkies Poor Five suffers in this fic and I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to hug a non-existent person more? Also give them some medicine. And a blanket. And a pillow. This fic deserves more love and I think it’s been pretty overlooked, so please check this one out because it 100% deserves it!

15. Favourite kid-fic this year:

The Umbrella Academy: Something Domestic by @gentlemenpaws Teeny, tiny, adorable Five being cared for by a Who-Let-Me-Care-For-An-Infant Klaus? I’m in. Klaus’ panic is so sweet and he just?? Wants to do his best?? And also has several heart attacks because of Five’s powers?? Poor guy. I’ve read this enough to know parts from memory!

16. Fic this year which you didn’t expect to love as much as you do: 

The Umbrella Academy: It Comes and Goes (In Waves) by hujwernoo Not to say I thought I wouldn’t like it, but going into this I didn’t realise how much I would adore this series. It’s so amazing and I have to pace myself reading it otherwise I start skipping lines in an effort to read it all at once. if you haven’t already checked it out, do!

17. Fic which convinced you to ship a pairing:

Guardians of the Galaxy: Blue on White by @bluesocksandfluff I honestly can’t remember when about I boarded the Yondu/Kraglin train, but I’m pretty sure it started with this fic! The hurt/comfort is A* and small Peter is everything, and Yondu is a grumpy grump to can’t admit he has a heart and I love him for it! This is another fic I’ve read to the point of remembering lines!

18. Favourite AU you’ve read this year:

The Umbrella Academy: the ballad of but first, coffee by deerie I was loving this fic anyway as I was reading it but what completely sold me was how they did Grace, and Five’s interactions with her. Just...Don’t mind me, crying in the corner because FEELS HAPPENED. Also Klaus being part of a knitting group? 10/10 if it doesn’t happen in season 2 I’ll riot

19. Longest fic/series you’ve read this year:

Good Omens: Inverse Omens by @amuseoffyre This series is so sweet and sad and lovely and painful and heartwarming and goddamn it Aziraphale sort out your panicking boyfriend!! I look forward to every update, and I love all the little historical moments and tidbits of information! Also the author updates super fast and I need to know what writing deity they made a sacrifice to and if that deity will accept a can of Dr Pepper and Walker’s crisps because that’s all I’ve got

20. The last fic you’ve read:

The Umbrella Academy: a life still permanent by @iguessyouregonnamissthepantyraid By complete coincidence I am halfway through rereading this fic and I’m kicking myself for forgetting how goddamn good it is. I adore Claire and anyone who lays a finger on her head will face my wrath, and Allison’s siblings being awesome aunts and uncles? Yeeeeeeessss!!

21. Wildcard fic you haven’t mentioned but deserves a shout-out + why:

The Umbrella Academy: Beyond the Fire by DenDragon14 Soft Luther? Five dealing with his trauma? A setting we haven’t seen before with these characters? Klaus taking a picture he totally won’t use for blackmail later? Yep, this is my kind of fic! It’s just SO. SOFT.

Tagging: As long as you want to, all the authors I mentioned!!

[in-my-feels-probably]

We’re Burned For Better - Prologue

Aemond Targaryen x Aelora Velaryon 

Prologue

A/N - Please read the prologue, it is necessary in understanding elements of the rest of the story.

If you had read my Aemond imagine called Doomsday, you will recognize similarities in this fic, especially in the prologue. I promise, however, that besides this chapter, it will be much more expanded on and different from Doomsday. Major plot points will be changed, previously written scenes will be changed. So if you read something you recognize, don’t skip it, and also try not to connect it to Doomsday. However, I will be reusing some elements that I think work really well.

Also, for anyone wondering, I most likely will make a part two to Doomsday, which will be up at some point on Tumblr and Ao3, all the same username. I will also continue to answer requests. My @ is in_my_feels_probably on Wattpad and Ao3, and in-my-feels probably on Tumblr.

Please, do not read my fic if you think any of the following will trigger you. I will include as many tags and trigger warnings as I can in the beginning, but this is your pre warning that this fic will deal with the following: mentions and allusions to sex, potential smut, swearing, depression and suicide, character death, miscarriage, trauma, toxic relationships, Targaryen incest, violence, and gore.

At the beginning of hard chapters, I’ll include any warnings I can at the top in an author’s note. Please, let me know if I missed any triggers. If you’d rather read something shorter and a little more lighthearted, but with familiar plotlines, read Doomsday.

If I have nothing too important to say, the author's notes will be at the bottom of the chapters.

I am asking that you don’t translate or upload my fic anywhere else without my permission, but if you mention it anywhere, let me know on Wattpad or Tumblr, I’d love to see.

With that said, that’s all I have left important to explain beforehand. I will try and update as regularly as I can. If you have any questions, comments, or feedback, feel free to comment or message me and let me know. I really hope you enjoy it!

Now presenting…the Prologue for We’re Burned For Better

—

Anya Taylor Joy as AELORA VELARYON, biological daughter of RHAENYRA TARGARYEN and SER HARWIN STRONG.

Adoptive daughter of SER LAENOR VELARYON, accepted as his own by DAEMON TARGARYEN.

Twin sister to JACAERYS VELARYON, kin to the BLACKS.

Lover to AEMOND TARGARYEN.

—

- The Great War -

My knuckles were bruised like violets

Sucker punching walls, cursed you as I sleep-talked

Spineless in my tomb of silence

Tore your banners down, took the battle underground

And maybe it was ego swinging

Maybe it was her

Flashes of the battle come back to me in a blur

All that bloodshed, crimson clover

Sweet dream was over

My hand was the one you reached for

All throughout the Great War

Always remember

Tears on the letter

I vowed not to cry anymore

If we survived the Great War

You drew up some good faith treaties

I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone

You said I have to trust more freely

But diesel is desire, you were playing with fire

And maybe it's the past that's talking

Screaming from the crypt

Telling me to punish you for things you never did

So I justified it

All that bloodshed, crimson clover

The bombs were close and

My hand was the one you reached for

All throughout the Great War

Always remember

The burning embers

I vowed not to fight anymore

If we survived the Great War

It turned into something bigger

Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed

Your finger on my hair pin triggers

Soldier down on that icy ground

Looked up at me with honor and truth

Broken and blue, so I called off the troops

That was the night I nearly lost you

I really thought I lost you

We can plant a memory garden

Say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair

There's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair

And we will never go back

To that bloodshed, crimson clover

The worst was over

My hand was the one you reached for

All throughout the Great War

Always remember

We're burned for better

I vowed I would always be yours

'Cause we survived the Great War

I would always be yours

'Cause we survived the Great War

I vowed I would always be yours

—

Aelora Velaryon’s relationship with her family was most certainly an interesting one.

Being the sole daughter of Rhaenyra Targaryen, she had many eyes on her. Especially because she was the only one of Rhaenyra’s eldest children that resembled her Mother’s looks. Rhaenyra did eventually have children with Daemon that got the Targaryen features, but for a time, Aelora was the only one.

Which was particularly odd, considering she was twins with Jacaerys, who looked nothing like her. Aelora did, however, have her Father’s eyes. She liked to think it was the one special thing that connected her to her true Father, Ser Harwin Strong, now that he was gone.

Many speculated that Aelora was a child from another, that Rhaneyra took in as her own. Others suspected that she was the only true child she had with Laenor Velaryon. There were even whispers of her being a reincarnation of past rulers, including Queen Rhaenys.

Aelora’s parents never addressed the silly claims, only ever raising her as a Targaryen and a Velaryon. She was told to hold her head up high, just as her Mother did.

Growing up in King’s Landing, there wasn’t much Aelora particularly enjoyed doing. The city wasn’t to her taste. Her brothers and her uncles regularly trained, which she occasionally looked in on to fill the time, but she hardly ever joined herself.

Being Rhaenyra’s daughter, and the supposed daughter of Laenor, there was a certain expectation that she train alongside her brothers as well.

However, her family had lots to say about it, especially Aegon. To avoid the harassment, Ser Harwin offered to train her one on one. Ser Criston, biased towards her uncles, made training a very unpleasant experience, and Ser Harwin took it upon himself to make sure she received the same training as her brothers did. Aelora suspected her Mother had something to do with it, but Ser Harwin never made it seem like he was acting on her request. He was always kind to Aelora, which was one of the few perks to living in the capital.

Occasionally, Aemond would join in on training with Aelora. Her relationship growing up with Aemond was interesting, to say the least. One of the other few perks of living in the city. As children, they bonded over the fact that neither of them had dragons, despite both being given dragon eggs when they were born. They never hatched, which Aegon enjoyed taunting them both to no end about.

Aelora’s brothers weren’t as cruel, but they joked with her as well, as young boys tend to do. Jacaerys, her twin brother, often tried to console her about it. Sometimes, he’d let her fly with him on his dragon, Vermax, who seemed to sense how close she was with his rider.

As nice as Jace would try to be, he also lived to tease her, as any brother would.

“You’ll have a dragon one day,” he told her. “Besides, it’s only fair, Aelora. You got the silver hair. You're the spitting image of Mother.”

She scoffed, playfully rolling her eyes at him. “I’ll trade you for a dragon.”

“Then who would keep Aemond company while the rest of us are out flying?”

Jaecerys was extremely protective of his sister. Despite her technically being the older one of the two, born minutes before him, he always treated her like a little sister. Sometimes, she had to remind him that that wasn’t the case.

Jace could see the way Aemond looked at Aelora, and he was irritated, to put it mildly. He was as hard headed and stubborn as a dragon, and decided that humiliating Aemond in front of Aelora would persuade her to change her mind.

Aelora remembered the day her brothers and uncle decided it would be funny to tell Aemond they had found him a dragon, and instead brought a pig with parchment wings glued to its back out of the dragon pit. His Mother told him to forget his incessant obsession over having a dragon, but he just couldn’t let it go.

Aelora found him that evening, stalking around in the courtyard, pouting. When he heard her approach, he sniffled and quickly wiped under his eyes, but he knew she had caught him crying. She told him there was no shame in it, and that he did not have to hide that part of himself to her.

She had sat down, patting the spot on the ground next to her. He relented, taking his place beside her. They sat in comfortable silence, something they often did together. Aemond was never a man of many words, but he was especially quiet in times like this.

“We will have dragons one day, Aemond. I know it. It does no good to dwell on it now. Don’t give them the satisfaction of seeing your tears. Tell me you know that.”

He turned to her, offering a small smile. “I know.”

He didn’t really believe it himself, but somehow, he knew she was right. Aelora was  never able to lie to him, and so he knew she was only ever speaking the truth. And if she believed, he believed it too. Her faith was good enough for him.

Aemond was always good at comforting Aelora, too.

When she heard news of Ser Harwins death, she was nearly inconsolable. While she understood the rumors involving her family, and she knew in her heart that there was great potential for the man to be her Father, she publicly grieved anyway.

Aemond threatened to take the tongue of any man who teased her about it.

—

As Aelora got older, she saw less and less of Aemond. The night Lucerys took Aemond’s eye, defending his brother and Daemon’s daughters, she didn’t exactly take his side. If there was one thing she was, it was loyal to her family. As much as she loved Aemond, she wouldn’t take his side if she knew in her heart that he was wrong. She had told him how she thought him claiming Vhagar was unfair, and that it wasn’t his right to do so. Still, that made it no easier to see him hurt, and permanently scarred. She knew it would leave him vulnerable to torment.

That night, Alicent attacked Aelora’s own Mother.

An eye for an eye.

Aelora wasn’t having it. Just as fierce and brave as her mother, she stood in front of Luke and Jace, trying her best to protect them. Rhaenyra took a knife for it, and it was the final blow that wedged its way into the middle of the family, dividing the two sides.

The Greens and the Blacks.

Alicent wouldn’t allow her sons to be around Aelora’s brothers for longer than absolutely necessary. By association, this included Aelora too. In her later years, she came to understand why Alicent did all that she did. She just wanted her family safe, and she did what she could with the cards she was dealt. But that didn’t mean that Aelora was happy about it, and she spent what little time she had left in the city trying to make amends with Aemond.

Surprisingly, he wasn’t that upset. The night he was hurt, she had snuck to see him. Aelora profusely apologized, swearing that she never meant for any of this to happen. He had stopped her, sounding much wiser than his age.

“I understand, Aelora. They’re your family. I would never ask you to give up your loyalty for me.”

If only he knew just how much she cared about him, and how she often worried that one day, she would be asked to give it up for him. She could never stomach the idea of truly letting him go.

At the time, she didn’t know what to say. He was being suspiciously kind, especially after all Aelora said to his mother in her brother's defense.

“It is a trade that I can bear, Aelora. An eye seems a small price for the largest dragon in the world. You were right in the end.”

“I really am sorry. I never meant for this to happen. I’m grateful you understand,” she muttered, gently taking his hand in hers. She slightly grinned. “And of course I was right, I always am. I’m happy for you. Truly. Maybe a bit jealous, but truly.”

—

The Black’s returned to Dragonstone, wanting to avoid future conflicts.

Within a fortnight, once Aelora had settled back home, Daemon heard rumors of a rogue dragon, hidden away off the coast of Dragonstone. Her description matched that of Meraxes, a dragon thought to be dead. The last to claim her was Queen Rhaenys, sister and wife of Aegon the Conqueror.

Meraxes was said to be even bigger than Vhagar, only second to Balerion, who had died years before. If it was true, and Meraxes really was alive, the Blacks had a chance to claim the biggest dragon in the world.

With all of her brothers having already claimed a dragon, and her still without one, Daemon decided she would be Aelora’s to claim, if she chose her.

Aelora was shocked when he told her, but she went with him willingly to the cave Meraxes supposedly dwelled in. She rode on the back of Caraxes, fighting the pit in her stomach as her feet left the ground. She had been on dragonback before, but to know the next time she’d mount a dragon that may be her own, it had her frazzled.

“I believe it’s time you had a dragon of your own, don’t you?”

“What if she doesn’t choose me? What if she isn’t even real?”

He shook his head, grinning at her. “She’s real. And she’ll be yours. I can feel it.”

When Aelora made it to the cave, Daemon walked with her as far as he could go. He stopped at the entrance, handing her a torch.

“It’s up to you now. Do me a favor, come out of there unharmed. I couldn’t handle your Mother’s wrath if I went and got her only daughter killed.”

“I’ll be alright. You don’t sound too worried, Kepa.”

Father.

He smiled, a genuine smile. “Go on.”

Once in the cave, it took Aelora a few minutes to get her bearings. She grew a little anxious, but swallowed her nerves, continuing on. She was going to do this for her family. She was going to do this for herself. Aelora let out a low hum, signaling anything inside of her presence. She walked for a little while longer, before she heard a low rumble, humming back to her.

Aelora turned the corner, and sure enough, there she was. Glowing gold eyes and silver scales. She was beautiful.

She sniffed the air, opening her mouth, a shrill roar coming from her throat. Heat filled the room as she widened her jaws, and Aelora could see the ball of fire at the back of her throat.

She held her hand out, calling out to her. “Kesan gaomagon ao daor ōdrikagon.”

I will do you no harm.

“Nyke iderēbagon ao, Merakses. Gaomagon ao iderēbagon nyke?”

I choose you, Meraxes. Do you choose me?

Meraxes hummed, inching closer to Aelora. She held her breath as her snout came inches from her face, her teeth bared. She looked up into her eyes as she narrowed hers at her, staying still.

Aelora took a breath, closing her eyes. She held a hand out straight in front of her.

“Iksi mēre isse keskydoso. Lentor.”

We are one in the same. Family.

Aelora opened her eyes as she felt her nudge her snout into her palm, her breath hot on her hand. she smiled, excitement bubbling in her chest.

“Good girl, Meraxes.”

“Ivestragī īlva jikagon ūndegon ñuha kepa, Meraxes. Rȳbagon naejot nyke.”

Let us go see my Father, Meraxes. Listen to me.

She climbed up her back, settling with her legs wrapped at the base of her neck. Aelora leaned forward, gripping the spikes along her spine.

“We’ll have to fit you for a saddle and reigns, my girl. Obey, now. Jikagon.”

Go.

She stood, racing for the entrance of the cave. Aelora grinned wide as she felt the wind through her hair, laughing as she breached the entrance. Meraxes soared into the sky, looping around the tops of the trees.

Aelora saw Daemon on the ground, cheering.

“Get Caraxes, Daemon! I’ll fly the rest of the way on my own,” she shouted down.

Aelora soared off towards Dragonstone, knowing Daemon wasn’t far behind. She couldn’t hide her smile as she flew up through the clouds, holding tight to Meraxes. When she finally reached Dragonstone, she landed atop the hill. She climbed down, walking around to face Meraxes.

“Jikagon, ñuha riña. Sōvegon. Ao gīmigon skori naejot māzigon arlī naejot nyke.”

Go, my girl. Fly. You know when to come back to me.

Aelora ran a hand along her cheek before stepping back, and Meraxes took off into the clouds. She waited for Daemon to return at the edge of the castle, and grinned as she saw him and Caraxes break through the clouds. He quickly dismounted, letting Caraxes go, before rushing over to her.

“My girl,” he said, pulling Aelora into a hug. “I knew she’d choose you.”

She smiled, hugging him back. “She’s incredible. I can’t believe it. Thank you for taking me.”

“No child of mine will be without a dragon. Come, let's show your Mother I brought you back in one piece.”

—

In the following years, Aelora spent most of her time with her family on Dragonstone.

After the disaster that was Alicent slicing Rhaenyra’s arm, Rhaenyra decided it was best they go back to Dragonstone. With Meraxes, Aelora would fly and visit King’s Landing, at least when her Mother gave her permission. But other than that, she didn’t see the city much.

Sometimes, Aemond would write letters to her. It warmed her heart to know he still thought of her. He had matured immensely since she left. Aelora heard tales of him, of the mysterious young Prince, rider of Vhagar, distinguished swordsman. It amused her to think of him in that light, when she could still remember beating him in duels as children and watching him complain to Ser Criston.

After the birth of Viserys, Rhaenyra’s youngest, she sent Aelora to King’s Landing to stay for a while. Rhaenyra understood how much Aelora missed her life there, despite never liking the city. She also understood that the family was walking on fragile grounds, the glass bound to shatter if something wasn’t done to ease the tension. Aelora seemed like the best option to send, and she at least would have some company in the city.

Aemond was there, Aelora’s best friend in the whole seven kingdoms. And Helaena, who Aelora spent most of her time with. She got along with Alicent, who immediately took her in and treated her like a daughter. Even Aegon, in his later years, also took a liking to Aelora, having a genuine respect for her. Reluctantly, she indulged him, hoping it would change him for the better.

While Aelora always had someone in her company in King’s Landing, she dearly missed her home. She had been in King’s Landing for months now, and missed the castle back home, as well as the sea, and her brothers. She missed her flights with Daemon, connecting with her Father in one of the easiest ways she knew how.

But most of all, Aelora missed her Mother, the one person in the world she could not bear to be without.

When Aelora received news of her Mother being with child again, she couldn’t bear to be away from her any longer.

Every few weeks, Aelora would fly to Dragonstone on Meraxes, spending a week at a time at home. Her family cherished this time with her. When the ache in her heart from missing her family would subside, she’d know it was time to return to King’s Landing again.

When Aelora’s grandsire, King Viserys, was said to be very ill, her Mother decided it was finally time to return to King's Landing.

It was good timing, since Rhaenyra would have the opportunity to introduce her youngest children to her Father, as well as inform him of the marriage pact between Aelora’s brothers and Daemon’s daughters. It was also an opportunity to challenge Vaemond for Driftmark, which Aelora’s Mother believed to be rightfully Lucerys’s. Rhaenys had a soft spot for Aelora, and a respect for Rhaenyra, and her family knew she would eventually back them all and vouch for them to the King.

When Aelora heard her family’s arrival was imminent, she began counting the days until she was back in their arms again.

—

A/N - I hope you enjoyed the prologue, let me know what you think!

[ynscrazylife]

PLEASE MAMA NAT <3

where its just a day in the life of being the adopted daughter of the BLACK WIDOW her picking us up and training us, trying to bonb with us

love your stories ♥️

Being Natasha’s Adopted Daughter Would Include . . .

Request to be on a taglist (or multiple) here! (Taglists are at the end of the fic)

MCU Masterlist #1 | MCU Masterlist #2 |  Main Masterlist

PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of these works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.

header c @/piratanjo

Natasha met you post-Black Widow. She was helping out Yelena with freeing the Widows’ when she came across you.

You were a teen at the time - but still brainwashed. Thankfully because of your age you hadn’t been brainwashed into doing anything too bad yet, but you were almost finished with your training.

Something struck Natasha when she saw you. Looking back on it, she assumes it was the fact that like her and Yelena, you had been put into the Red Room at a young age, and you were the first teen they saw while on these various missions.

While she was okay with fighting the other Widows’, it was hard for Natasha to fight you. At the time, she brushed it off as not wanting to hurt a kid, but she knew that she was taking a liking to you.

Which was why, when Yelena managed to free you, and you told them that you had nowhere to go, Natasha felt the need to do something about it. Unlike the other Widows’ who were adults, you couldn’t go out into the world alone and, after talking with Yelena, Natasha decided to take you along with her.

It wasn’t adoption per say, at least at first, but it was close enough.

You jumped at the opportunity to tag along with Natasha and while Yelena continued the Widows’ mission, Natasha took you back to Melina’s house., where you met Melina and Alexei.

You were wary around them at first, clinging to Natasha, but you warmed up.

However, it wasn’t long before Natasha had to go on the run again. She offered you the chance to stay there with Melina and Alexei but you had grown very close to Natasha and wanted to come with her.

So, you did.

It was difficult, escaping authority and having to constantly be moving, but it in a way it strengthened yours and Natasha’s bond. You guys got closer and learned to work together — as fighting partners as well as mother/daughter.

Which was why, not having known your biological parents or where they were, the word ‘mom’ easily fell off her lips.

It happened when you guys were eating take-out in your latest house. Natasha had passed you the water pitcher and “thanks, mom” just came so naturally.

For a second, you didn’t realize what you had said, until you looked up to see Natasha staring at you with wide eyes.

Then, it hit you. Holy shit my god. Had you just said that?? What just happened?

You got scared that Natasha would react badly, but it was the opposite. A huge grin broke out on her face and even happy tears of pure joy.

When you asked her what was going on, she said: “I’ve never been a mother.”

That’s when you smiled and hugged her and you officially agreed on becoming mother and daughter.

Natasha was worried on being a mother at first, scared that she messed it up, but after reassurance from Melina via a phone call, she fell into the role naturally.

She became much more protective.

Not that you minded.

This went on until the Avengers called upon Natasha to fight Thanos.

She brought you along with her and the team was thoroughly stunned.

“wHO ArE yOU???”

“NATASHAAAA”

Yeah, it was chaotic.

You weren’t fazed though and quickly befriended Wanda and attempted to befriend Vision.

Steve and Sam also became like uncles.

Tony was a bit more difficult because you initially blamed him for you and Natasha on the run, so you were distant at first.

You were also kinda disappointed that Clint wasn’t there. You had wanted to meet him (and Natasha wanted you to meet him) after the stories you heard.

Nonetheless, you went to Wakanda and that’s where you met Bucky. It wasn’t long before he became another uncle.

You absolutely loved fighting alongside Okoye and meeting Shuri. You were fascinated by her technology.

You also kicked ass on the battlefield.

But then . . . You lost.

You watched Bucky disappear and even though you hadn’t known him for nearly as long as Natasha and Steve did, you still felt great pain.

Then you learned to that Sam and Wanda had gotten snapped and it got worse.

The days leading after were some of the most difficult days ever.

It was the first time you had to be strong for your mom, seeing as she had lost her friends too, and you panicked at first.

But you had been her daughter for awhile now and you knew what to do. You hugged Natasha and was there for her.

In the months coming, you helped the reminding heroes rebuild the world and you eventually joined the Avengers under your mother’s lead.

You also met Clint but it wasn’t a happy meeting, really, since he had lost his family.

You continued on as an Avenger with Natasha by your side. You met Carol and she was like an aunt and was amazing.

Things started to turn on the bright side when one day Natasha walked in with a genuine smile and held papers.

You could only guess what they were for at first, but quickly was shown and freaked out (a happy freak out) after.

Adoption papers.

You jumped and yelled and screamed and cheered, unbelievably happy that this was becoming official official.

You were Natasha’s daughter.

While the past few years had been difficult, this made it all worth it. You didn’t know where you’d be without Natasha and she was always with you.

Eventually, the team had a plan to defeat Thanos.

Which felt liked a miracle.

Natasha lives because I say so.

You and her got to tag-team Thanos’ enemies.

Literally the best team since Clint and Nat.

(Clint was jealous)

Then, you got everyone back!

You were SO happy to see Bucky, Sam, and Wanda again, and so was Natasha.

After you all reunited and the world went back to semi-normal, you and Natasha visited Yelena, Alexei, and Melina who were beyond happy to see you both.

Things started to turn up again and you were so grateful to have Nat at your side.

She was the best mom EVER.

Always looking out for you and protecting you

If any of the other Avengers made the slightest of snide comments, she was on them like a bloodhound

She always reminded you to hydrate and was always asking you how you were doing

It was hard to believe that she hadn’t had any experience with children before

Well, she had, with Clint’s kids, but still

Speaking of Clint’s kids, they all looked to you like an older cousin

But getting back to Natasha

She insisted that only she would train with you, not trusting the team to not injure you (besides, she knew you best)

You loved training with Natasha too

She always made it fun, putting on music and stuff

It helped you had similar music tastes

She also would always gush to anyone but really Clint, Sam, or Bucky on how cute and adorable you were

And they definitely agreed

One time during movie night you fell asleep with your head on Nat’s shoulder

She was so happy

Made Bucky take a picture

But she did feel a little bad because you must be tired

So she carried you to your room and put you to bed, kissing you goodnight

You had missed out on a childhood so it was nice for your mom to bring you to bed

All in all Natasha was the best thing to happen to you

Despite it being tough, you were thankful for every second of it

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[sieclesetcieux]

On Saint-Just’s Personality: An Introduction

Saint-Just’s personality is deeply misunderstood.

Saint-Just was a very secretive person, and guarded his personality behind walls. It might come off as surprising, considering how he’s usually depicted, but he actually was very introverted and reserved at the Convention, at the Committee of Public Safety, and during his missions in Alsace and in the North.

He was also a very sensitive person. He didn’t take slights easily (neither did Robespierre). But unlike Robespierre, he was also extremely young and wanted to be taken seriously. He was building off from nothing. So he built his own “myth”: the man (re)born with the Revolution. He made his youth his advantage: he hadn’t been as corrupted as the others by the old ways. This is something that was used by other revolutionaries, for example Marc-Antoine Jullien, who was 19 years old in 1794. They would say their youth made them closer to “nature” – that is, the natural, uncorrupted state of humanity as defined by Enlightenment philosophy.

The Saint-Just people think they know via novels and movies doesn’t really exist. I can’t think of any fictional representation that accurately portrays him. How people think of Saint-Just is basically several different “fanon” interpretations, some built by his enemies, some built by people who did appreciate him but didn’t quite understand him – which didn’t help much in the end.

This is important to point out because in the end these are the sources we have to learn who Saint-Just was as a person:

What those who knew him wrote about him (sometimes writing many decades later, which naturally impacts memory)

The little insight we can gleam from the few personal notes he left here and there in notebooks (and an unsent letter) that were never meant to be read by anyone

I know this seems obvious, but people often forget that historical figures are not fictional characters. They were real, living, breathing, human beings. They were people, and people have flaws and contradictions. People don’t necessarily remain the same at 20 years old, at 25, at 30 and so forth. People change.

The Saint-Just who writes Organt before the Revolution isn’t the Saint-Just who writes L’Esprit de la Révolution et de la Constitution de France in 1790 and isn’t the Saint-Just who gets elected deputy to the Convention in 1792. The Saint-Just who writes an unsent letter to Villain d’Aubigny (usually dated of July 20 1792, though it’s a topic of debate) is a Saint-Just no one was supposed to see. Same with most of his personal notes they built the Fragments des Institutions républicaines with.

Most importantly of all, a person will appear different to different people in different contexts. It’s a matter of perspective.

If you only take Desmoulins’ and Hilary Mantel’s and Tanith Lee’s perspectives on Saint-Just, well, I’m sorry to say, that’s not Saint-Just. That’s a perspective of Saint-Just.

Moreover, Saint-Just has many faces, many images, many legends, some of which he created himself while he was alive.

Victor Hugo was influenced by the Romantic Historians of the French Revolution, Michelet and Lamartine specifically, and their descriptions of Saint-Just to create Enjolras.

This is how you can find this connection making it even through novels that don’t like Saint-Just very much:

“He has a mind of fire and a heart of ice.”

- Bertrand Barère on Louis-Antoine Saint-Just

“It is a thing unheard of that a man should be as cold as ice and as bold as fire.”           

- Bossuet on Enjolras, in Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

“...Camille felt an instant aversion, as to the touch of ice, which is what the young man most resembled. Chiseled from an ice floe.”

- Camille on Saint-Just, in Tanith Lee, The Gods Are Thirsty

Thus, even traces of this Saint-Just lives on in Tanith Lee's book.

Main testimonies

Most of them are here, in French, and some have been translated. If not, I will work on it. I will repost them on this tumblr as well, along with additional information about their author, their reliability, their personal biases, etc.

Sources by Saint-Just’s hand

While some revolutionaries have enough correspondence to fill entire volumes, Saint-Just comparatively left few letters behind. We do have one letter that gives incredible insight into his state of mind, but it’s important to remember this letter was never meant to be read by anyone. It was an unsent letter, found in his things after Thermidor, and then made public against his wishes, much like most of his personal notes. It is, however, an amazing letter nevertheless, but it’s important to keep this context in mind: he did not want you to see him like this.

Secondly, we have a lot of decrees he wrote during his missions. Though most don’t say very much, they do give clues on his personality, on his attitude, on his perspective. In some cases, he would write a quick postscript to a letter written by Le Bas and addressed to Maximilien Robespierre. Interestingly, while Le Bas would use the “vous” with Robespierre, and admitted to his wife Élisabeth he felt closer to Augustin than to Maximilien, Saint-Just always uses the “tu”. This isn’t just a matter of revolutionary zeal – the whole “vous vs tu” question during the Revolution is another, much more complicated story.

Finally, we have personal notes scattered through the manuscript that became known as the Fragments des Institutions républicaines. It’s a strange document to study and refer to. There is, indeed, a project he was working on concerning the Republican Institutions. There are at least two drafts. But the document has other things has well: from notes he later used in speeches (you can pinpoint the similarities) to a very short fictional romance between a man and a woman that’s hard to interpret.

The document known as the Fragments des Institutions républicaines was made from random papers found on him when he was arrested, taken from his apartment, and in a notebook that Barère kept. Pages are missing. Some pages are obviously torn. This is the one place where he confided some of his deepest thoughts, which reveal a great deal of insight on the Revolution and on his role, as well as his mental state. It was written in the last months of his life, when he could feel what was coming.

Saint-Just wrote fiction: yes, there’s the much maligned, very misunderstood Organt. In the same period, which is shortly before the Revolution, he also wrote a play called Arlequin Diogène, a short story called La Raison à la Morne, and a very short epigram of 8 verses, Épigramme sur le comédien Dubois qui a joué dans Pierre le Cruel.

Most of these must be treated as any work of fiction regarding their author: separating fiction from the author is complicated. Is he referencing his own life? Is he even aware that he is? The context of their redaction, however, gives a lot of information and some insight on himself. One of these texts is extremely interesting in order to study his personality. It’s a sort of foreword to Organt titled Dialogue entre M... D... et l’auteur du poëme d’Organt. The format almost resembles that of an interview. This is important as this is Saint-Just the Author, as he wants to be seen. The style is trenchant, concise, straight-to-the-point. Here Saint-Just the Author of 1789 meets Saint-Just the Representative of Year II.

(This post in an introduction to a series of several posts in the process of being written. Please be patient. If you want to know more, feel free to send me questions though! I’ll try to answer as well as I can.)

[yuta-nakamots]

hi guys, it’s definitely been a while…i guess i would say that i’m back but i am not too sure how active i will be and for how long. this post will serve as an announcement and an update regarding my blog and status on tumblr but if you feel that i missed anything or have questions, feel free to send me a message or an ask. 

PAST

first off, i would like to apologize for leaving without official notice. i was extremely busy with school along with my extracurriculars and i kept telling myself that i would come back tomorrow, the day after that, and so on. at some point i stopped thinking about tumblr and forgot about it but every so often it came across my mind and i felt the urge to come online but i never did. 

a large reason of why i didn’t come back earlier was because i was scared. i’m still not too sure why i’m scared but i think it’s because i know so much has changed and i’m scared of seeing how many people have left or seeing how much my mutuals have grown in the time i was not here.

i am especially sorry to people who organized and/or hosted events and collabs that i was a part of and missed the deadline for. i do intend on releasing my works for them because i feel a sense of incompletion knowing that there are things i have left undone.

PRESENT

if anyone would like to fill me in on any events (url changes, mutuals leaving, my membership in networks, overall network changes, etc.) that occurred in my absence, it would be greatly appreciated. 

i know i held roles of authority within both @nct-writers and @neosmutcollective and i would love to return to remain part of the staff team. if the head admins and staff team would like to have me back, i am more than willing to return, even if not to my previous positions.

aside from those two networks, i was also a member of a few other networks and will be sending an ask to the respective blogs to check on my membership with them since i do wish to continue being a member.

i will begin checking all of my messages both on here and discord throughout the next few days. please be patient with me but if there are certain things that you would like to bring to my immediate attention, feel free to do so.

i will also be responding to everything in my ask box and going as far back as possible in my notifications in case anyone has tagged me recently. 

regarding my url and its relation to wayv’s lucas, i personally do not have a statement on his issue but in combination with that and this refresh to my blog, i think a name change would be fitting and it would help me get back into enjoying this site. 

within the next day or so, i will be changing my url from lucas-wongs to yuta-nakamots which i think many of you will find a bit more fitting if you remember my undying love for yuta haha that much has not changed about me during my time away.

please be patient as i update my links once i change my url and also let me know if there are posts that i missed after i announce that i have finished updating links. 

FUTURE 

i am currently in summer school and i do plan on remaining active until my fall semester starts in august. i do not know how active i will be but i definitely will not be as active as i once was since i have more responsibilities than i did back when i first started writing.

as i mentioned before, i will continue to write and post works, but works related to events and collabs will be given priority. i have kept notes on new ideas i would like to write during my time away from tumblr and i do hope to bring them to life on here.

if there are any of my mutuals remaining here that do not already have my social media and would like to stay in touch, let me know and i would love to find a way for us to stay connected outside of tumblr since i enjoyed so many of the friends i made here. 

i would like to thank Liv @horanghoe for continuously supporting me ever since we first became partners in crime on tumblr. thank you for encouraging me to come back and making me feel welcomed and wanted in this community. you make tumblr feel like a hangout place for the two of us to exist together without a giant ocean between us and i’m so glad to have met you. 

[itsclydebitches]

Here's a quandary I've suddenly found myself in: where do you stand on writers deleting their own works, fanfiction or otherwise? I've had this happen to me on more than one occasion - I go to look for an old favorite and find it's since been deleted from whatever site I read it on.

On the one hand, I'm inclined to think that, "Sure. The author wrote it, it's their call. I don't own the work - I certainly didn't pay for it. It's their decision, even if it's disappointing."

But at the same time I can't help but consider the alternative - if I believe in death of the author (and I do), that an author's work fundamentally isn't solely theirs once it's been published, posted, etc., then it also seems wrong to have a work deleted. Stories aren't the sole property of their creator, after all.

But then I circle back. D'you think there are different obligations between authors and readers and the works being made in fandom space? I know if I had bought a book and the author decided they wanted it back, I would feel pretty comfortable telling them no, given I'd paid for it and whatnot. But that's a different world from fanfic and fandom space generally.

So. You're insightful Clyde, I'm curious as to what you'll have to say here (and to all y'all thinking about it, don't flame me. I haven't decided where I stand here yet - haven't heard a good nail-in-the-coffin argument for or against yet).

Val are you a mind reader now? I’ve been thinking about this exact conundrum the last few days!

(And yeah, as a general disclaimer: no flaming. Not allowed. Any asks of the sort will be deleted on sight and with great satisfaction.)

Honestly, I’m not sure there is a “nail-in-the-coffin argument” for this, just because—as you lay out—there are really good points for keeping works around and really good points for allowing authors to have control over their work, especially when fanworks have no payment/legal obligations attached. In mainstream entertainment, your stories reflect a collaborative effort (publisher, editor, cover artists, etc.) so even if it were possible to delete the physical books out of everyone’s home and library (and we're ignoring the censorship angle for the moment), that’s no longer solely the author’s call, even if they have done the lion’s share of the creative work. Though fanworks can also, obviously, be collaborative, they’re usually not collaborative in the same way (more “This fic idea came about from discord conversations, a couple tumblr posts, and that one headcanon on reddit”) and they certainly don’t have the same monetary, legal, and professional strings attached. I wrote this fic as a hobby in my free time. Don’t I have the right to delete it like I also have the right to tear apart the blankets I knit?

Well yes… but also no? I personally view fanworks as akin to gifts—the academic term for our communities is literally “gift economy”—so if we view it like that, suddenly that discomfort with getting rid of works is more pronounced. If I not only knit a blanket, but then gift it to a friend, it would indeed feel outside of my rights to randomly knock on their door one day and go, “I actually decided I hate that? Please give it back so I can tear it to shreds, thanks :)” That’s so rude! And any real friend would try to talk me out of it, explaining both why they love the blanket and, even if it’s not technically the best in terms of craftsmanship, it holds significant emotional value to them. Save it for that reason alone, at least. Fanworks carry that same meaning—“I don’t care if it’s full of typos, super cliché, and using some outdated, uncomfortable tropes. This story meant so much to me as a teenager and I’ll always love it”—but the difference in medium and relationships means it’s easier to ignore all that. I’m not going up to someone’s house and asking face-to-face to destroy something I gave them (which is awkward as hell. That alone deters us), I’m just pressing a button on my computer. I’m not asking this of a personal friend that is involved in my IRL experiences, I’m (mostly) doing this to online peers I know little, if anything, about. It’s easy to distance ourselves from both the impact of our creative work and the act of getting rid of it while online. On the flip-side though, it’s also easier to demean that work and forget that the author is a real person who put a lot of effort into this creation. If someone didn’t like my knitted blanket I gave them as a gift, they’re unlikely to tell me that. They recognize that it’s impolite and that the act of creating something for them is more important than the construction’s craftsmanship. For fanworks though, with everyone spread around the world and using made up identities, people have fewer filters, happily tearing authors to shreds in the comments, sending anon hate, and the like. The fact that we’re both prefacing this conversation with, “Please don’t flame” emphasizes that. So if I wrote a fic with some iffy tropes, “cringy” dialogue, numerous typos, whatever and enough people decided to drag me for it… I don’t know whether I’d resist the urge to just delete the fic, hopefully ending those interactions. There’s a reason why we’re constantly reminding others to express when they enjoy someone else’s work: the ratio of praise to criticism in fandom (or simply praise to seeming indifference because there was no public reaction at all), is horribly skewed.

So I personally can’t blame anyone for deleting. I’d like to hope that more people realize the importance of keeping fanworks around, that everything you put out there is loved by someone… but I’m well aware that the reality is far more complicated. It’s hard to keep that in mind. It’s hard to keep something around that you personally no longer like. Harder still to keep up a work you might be harassed over, that someone IRL discovered, that you’re disgusted with because you didn’t know better back then… there are lots of reasons why people delete and I ultimately can’t fault them for that. I think the reasons why people delete stem more from problems in fandom culture at large—trolling, legal issues, lack of positive feedback, cancel culture, etc.—than anything the author has or has not personally done, and since such work is meant to be a part of an enjoyable hobby… I can’t rightly tell anyone to shoulder those problems, problems they can’t solve themselves, just for the sake of mine or others’ enjoyment. The reason I’ve been thinking about this lately is because I was discussing Attack on Titan and how much I dislike the source material now, resulting in a very uncomfortable relationship with the fics I wrote a few years back. I’ve personally decided to keep them up and that’s largely because some have received fantastic feedback and I’m aware of how it will hurt those still in the fandom if I take them down. So if a positive experience is the cornerstone of me keeping fics up, I can only assume that negative experiences would likewise been the cornerstone of taking them down. And if getting rid of that fic helps your mental health, or solves a bullying problem, or just makes you happier… that, to me, is always more important than the fic itself.

But, of course, it’s still devastating for everyone who loses the work, which is why my compromise-y answer is to embrace options like AO3’s phenomenal orphaning policy. That’s a fantastic middle ground between saving fanworks and allowing authors to distances themselves from them. I’ve also gotten a lot more proactive about saving the works I want to have around in the future. Regardless of whether we agree with deleting works or not, the reality is we do live in a world where it happens, so best to take action on our own to save what we want to keep around. Though I respect an author’s right to delete, I also respect the reader’s right to maintain access to the work, once published, in whatever way they can. That's probably my real answer here: authors have their rights, but readers have their rights too, so if you decide to publish in the first place, be aware that these rights might, at some point, clash. I download all my favorite fics to Calibre and, when I’m earning more money (lol) I hope to print and bind many for my personal library. I’m also willing to re-share fic if others are looking for them, in order to celebrate the author’s work even if they no longer want anything to do with it. Not fanfiction in this case, but one of my fondest memories was being really into Phantom of the Opera as a kid and wanting, oh so desperately, to read Susan Kay’s Phantom. Problem was, it was out of print at the time, not available at my library, and this was before the age of popping online and finding a used copy. For all intents and purposes, based on my personal situation, this was a case of a book just disappearing from the world. So when an old fandom mom on the message boards I frequented offered to type her copy up chapter by chapter and share it with me, you can only imagine how overjoyed I was. Idk what her own situation was that something like scanning wouldn’t work, but the point is she spent months helping a fandom kid she barely knew simply because a story had resonated with her and she wanted to share it. That shit is powerful!

So if someone wants to delete—if that’s something they need right now—I believe that is, ultimately, their decision… but please try your hardest to remember that the art you put out into the world is having an impact and people will absolutely miss it when it’s gone. Often to the point of doing everything they can to put it back out into the world even if you decide to take it out. Hold onto that feeling. The love you have for your favorite fic, fanart, meta, whatever it is? Someone else has that for your work too. I guarantee it.

So take things down as needed, but for the love of everything keep copies for yourself. You may very well want to give it back to the world someday.

[saturnsummer]

hi! i can’t believe i’m doing this, being cowardly and asking anonymously, which is so not like me, but i’m really not sure about the feedback i’ll get from this ask so here goes. i really hope you don’t take this the wrong way. i just don’t know who else to ask and among the authors i see in tumblr you’re the one with all the headcanons and looks into their characterization and all huhu.

i just noticed that in the majority of angst(y) aus, sol (a) is always the one who is constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, prioritising her family over hwi/not considering him her family, or ends up pushing hwi away and then the relationship turns out badly, and by badly meaning it ends. i understand the first one since that’s really been the case for the majority of what we get a glimpse of in her life. but i don’t understand the others and i want to understand because so many people are writing it that way, and i interpret it as: they see something i don’t. maybe there are things about her character that i can’t or perceive differently or my 21 year old brain lacks the wisdom for that i miss how it progresses to that. but since i’m too shy to interact with anyone i don’t have anyone to compare notes with, huhu. i don’t really understand the others them because:

she basically said she’ll root for him in his uncle’s place which isn’t something to be taken lightly, she knows the gravity of what she said and more than anyone else she knows what it feels like to have family leave you behind/alone and all (i hope u get what i mean here and that this is sufficient, it’ll get even longer if i add more explaining)

she has high EQ, she basically hit all the right spots in the before they uploaded the video part (if it wasn’t for assemblyman ko…) and this scene is also another example of number 3 where she ends up opening herself up to him again

she knows he understands her in a sense and has this certain level of trust towards him, it can be seen on how she told him about dan but not about anyone else, and even if hwi didn’t show up at that time it can also be seen that she somehow opens up to him in the drinking water as if its booze scene. I guess i just observed that in the instances where she takes the first step and tries to push him away, she rather ends up opening herself up to him.

hwi also has high EQ or at least towards sol (lmao) and combined with his high IQ and the fact that he understands her contributes to number 3

and not all of these scenes can be considered as “working out alright and happily and greatly” since there are challenges in them but somehow it never reaches to that degree :<

as i said i want to compare notes because i understand only a portion of where its based on. i’m not saying its ooc since there is a bedrock on where that could possibly come from, it’s just that i can’t comprehend how its probable to reach up to that degree based on my understanding of their characters huhu. if it is a writer’s thing though perhaps it’s most likely why i don’t understand since all i’ve ever done my whole life is read and not really the type that writes. huhu.

i’m really not complaining or insulting or saying anything bad about or offending the fics, honestly huhu. i just want to learn more about her character and i’m bad at saying things not bluntly :< i tried my best :<

also, if you’re not comfortable with answering posting the answer publicly but still considering to or want to answer my question (i’ve used tumblr for so long but don’t know how asks work) if know a way to kinda hide the ask but answer it and say you want me to dm you about it, i can :<

hello anon! thank you for this analysis that while lengthy, does give me a bit of insight!

I think all your points are valid! about why she’s the one that is the start of the angst, why she pushes him away and not the other way around! I completely get your meaning, and honestly i do see the things you are seeing too!

this is just my personal take on this and how i view sol as being the ‘start’ of angst, why aren’t there fics on joon being the ‘start’ of angst and all, so please do take this with a pinch of salt!

I’ve personally not written any headcanons/fics that are mainly angst centred yet, so I would have to draw on my understanding of sol and joonhwi as characters from law school.

for sol, she’s a big emotional girl. you could see from the way she argues in class, with her friends, with how she reacts all the time. she rides on emotions and uses her heart a little more than her brain. like the bad fama case, she couldn’t give up cause she was emotional about it. like you said, she has a high EQ!

a possible reason to the angst on her part is due to the emotions as well. being someone that follows her heart so closely, she’s easily affected by the people around her and swayed easily. it would make a little more sense for the angst to derive from her, maybe from feeling that she lacks the love for joon. or maybe, a certain incident and she breaks it off.

one other reason is her upbringing. we know that she has biological father that is different from her stepfather. we also know that it is implied that her biological father is not present in her life, and her stepfather is abusive to her mother. as such, this must have been hard on her. imagine growing up in a family far from perfect, would one believe in love? many cases, some say no. they have never seen a healthy relationship before, much less seen one grow in their eyes from young till adulthood. this is the same for sol too. she didn’t see a perfect family, she saw a broken family, no father figure and her mother who endured abuse. this ultimately might make sol think “why is there a need for love? will I end up like my parents? is joon going to leave me, like my biological father did?” it’s undeniable that she might have these thoughts in her mind. thus, it’s a more common catalyst of angst, in a breakup thinking she’s not good enough, or she’s not ready, or undeserving.

as such, most writers might maybe find it easier to draw on this aspect of sol as the angst starter. a short example of this would be in my ongoing “the fairytale you never had (would you believe again?)” fic and in my oneshots “worthy” !

however, I do wonder, “why isn’t joonhwi the one with angst? is sol the only messy one here?” quickly, I thought back to most of the scenes of joonhwi when he is troubled, confused or any sign of him showing emotions.

joonhwi can be an angst starter, but I think it drawn on less since it’s so hard to draw on. from the base line, we know he’s smart. we know he’s probably rich. we know his uncle is the closest person to him. we know his parents died. but all these are just facts, no emotions. in everything that joonhwi does, he does it out of compliance, law abiding, or of a moral code. very few instances does he act of emotions or show a raw side of him.

the only times we could see it would be when he’s confronting his uncle, or the moments with sol later on in the show. he rarely shows emotions, and it’s hard to understand him or his troubles when he doesn’t show many emotions and we don’t know enough about his life. we know he looks up to his uncle, but it’s impossible for him, an orphan, to not miss his parents or have his missing parents not play a role in his development.

thus, his angst would most probably derive from “can i trust her, even after this?”, “is she lying, to cover up something?”, “is sol really the sol I believe in? or was it an entire lie?” his angst would come from one of trust and not from emotions.

i would really love to give a full analysis, but im no good with this. you can always dm me on Twitter or tumblr and we can always have a chat on this! would love to draw from my fellow writer friends to pitch in on this too, since they are honestly better at the analysis. im just a free writer!

thank you anon for you query! do dm me on tumblr/twitter (whichever is comfortable!) and we can discuss more! i’ll keep your identity secret, no worries!

[red-talisman]

ANs & CW for 'Crashing Like Stars'

I hate long author's notes on AO3 but I wanna make sure credits and content warnings are accessible. /fingerguns

Crashing Like Stars is pure idfic + love letter based on a literal list I made of "Things I Enjoy in JC-centric CQL fandom" and also asking myself, What if JC was somehow EVEN MORE possessively protective???

Credit

Fics I adore which definitely influenced me: xxdz’s Mulberry, sami’s Utterly Inevitable, omphalos’ Picture of the Turning Sphere, and messenger18’s A Beginner’s Guide to Moving On. Similarities to other fics are either coincidental or the specific titles got lost in the backlog of the sheer amount of fic I’ve inhaled and I’m happy to add proper credit here if I’ve missed anyone. :)

Many elements come from wonderful metas by folks like drwcn, hunxi-guilai, pumpkinpaix, merelhyn, tamingwangxian, and coffintownkids . Please show them love! Any mistakes here are my own, not theirs. Other bits came from conversations with the lovely calamity-butterfly.

Detailed content warnings

Past torture, including sexual assault of a minor, in the context of warfare (Wen soldiers against an underage JC)

Rape recovery and some of the challenges that can entail, including internalized victim-blaming and self-judgment

Portrayal/discussion of trauma (warfare, rape, dysfunctional family dynamics), depression, anxiety, indirect forms of self-harm (e.g. not eating), moments of dissociation/derealization, and suicidal ideation (but no attempts)

Some emotional manipulation and gaslighting (dysfunctional family dynamics, political intrigue; not between Xicheng or Wangxian)

Dysfunctional family dynamics which includes adult children of the same household having different experiences/understandings of what they went through

Reference to past child neglect/emotional abuse

Canonical child death (Jin Rusong)

Basically people lacking safe coping skills and emotional expression but doing their best to do better.

Relationship with Land & Ancestors

This fic deals with themes related to spiritual relationship with both one’s ancestors and ancestral land. For many folks, including myself, this isn’t a fictional thing, and it’s one that’s fraught with emotion for a lot of people from many regions for a million different reasons. In the context of this story, it involves a feudal-style society with the accompanying class strata, but it does not involve colonialism, imperialism, language related to genetics or "breeding," or genocide (unless you count the Lotus Pier Massacre).

The emphasis is on relationship, not bloodline, which I believe is an important distinction for me to make given the ways in which concepts of ancestry, identity, and "land ownership" are used to justify violence in contemporary contexts (e.g. white supremacy, eugenics, capitalism).

Please feel free to message me if you'd like more details.

Worldbuilding notes

Given the lack of evidence in canon otherwise, I’m going with the idea that there’s no Imperial court and the major sects function something like independent feudal city-states. Therefore, guardian lions in this fic are associated with powerful landed gentry families like the Great Sects.

This fic is not intended to accurately portray Chinese-specific forms of folk religion or spiritworking and shouldn't be taken as such. I did my best to keep it reasonably culturally grounded based on what I understand from the few English-language academic sources I could find, and I filled in some of those gaps based on my academic background in studying various folk religions plus my own experience as a spiritworker in another culturally-specific tradition. It's ultimately a fictionalization meant to fit with what CQL canon gave us. That being said, if I culturally misstep, please let me know by commenting on the fic or contacting me here on tumblr.

[wordplayfics]

2021 Posting Information

Hello everyone! I am so excited for this fest and hope you are too.

Below is information regarding the details for posting your fics to the collection(s) and what information I am asking you include in AO3 when you post. I will update and reblog this same post every week as I get the new collection set up for each prompt. There is also a link to it in the bio of the blog, so if you miss the reblog, please be sure to check back. 

The Basics:

Add your fic to the appropriate collection (details below) by 12 noon EDT on the respective Tuesday

Please include the given blurb in your author’s note or end notes (again, details below)

Please make a fic post for your fics and tag the blog 

There will be a masterpost updated weekly with links to the newly published collection

Let me know if you have any questions!

Below the cut, you can find all the details.

Below are the links for the collections to add your fics to: Struggle Reduce  Divide  Rise  Sketch - Posting 10 August

Please be sure your fic is in the collection before 12 noon EDT each Tuesday. 

There will be a countdown linked in each post with that week’s prompt because I know timezones can be hard. If your fic is not already in the collection when I go to publish the fics, then they won’t be approved to be in the collection. You may still post your fic and link it to the challenge–I will even reblog your fic post–but the point of this challenge is to write a fic in a week’s time. I don’t want to give any one person more or less time than anyone else, thus the deadline of noon and not allowing late fics into the collection. If you have any questions or concerns, please let me know!

Also remember: you aren’t required to participate every week, but we do ask that you do your best to participate in at least three of the five weeks this challenge is active.

We also request that you include a specific blurb in your author’s note for these fics. You can feel free to include other information as well, but please use the weekly blurb at the very least. Because it includes links which require html in AO3 to post correctly, I cannot post it here or Tumblr will take away the html. I have created a google doc that will hold the blurbs for every week, since they will all be slightly different for each prompt. You can find that doc here.

Once fics are posted, it is recommended you make a fic post. Be sure to tag @wordplayfics in the fic post so I know it exists and can reblog it for you! (I also recommend you link to your fic post at the end of your fic in AO3. If you don’t know how to do this, please reach out and I will be happy to help you.)

I will also be making a masterpost for this year which will be updated weekly with links to each prompt collection as they post, so please help reblog as you are able to spread the word and get excitement going for the challenge.

Questions? Concerns? Please let me know and I’ll get back with you as soon as I can. Thank you, and happy writing!

[thyon-nero]

So. How do you feel about the litjoy crate strange the dreamer collection? The art with the setting and places is beautiful, and I love the miracle for breakfast art. On the other... the characters just look... a bit white? All the godspawn has a POC parent... no way they all look Eurocentric. Idk. I feel like I will regret not collecting it, but I already have the books and it seems kinda a waste...

Hi! Thanks for sending this in—I didn’t know that litjoy was making a Strange the Dreamer collection so thank you for bringing it to my attention. And sorry for taking so long to respond! I had quite a bit to say and wanted to make sure that my thoughts were at least a little coherent. Since tumblr doesn’t like links in posts, I’ll be dropping the litjoy link in the replies for people to see what we’re talking about. Also, to the anon who sent this in, I’ll be using the generic pronoun “you” to talk to everyone reading this, so don’t feel like I’m calling you out specifically!

Your ask brings up several good points for discussion that I’m going to try and apply to a broader conversation. Namely, the whitewashing in art and consumerism in the book community. I’m only one perspective so please feel free to continue this conversation in a respectful way: if there’s one thing that Strange the Dreamer should have taught us, it’s that only through communication and understanding can we resolve conflict.

First of all: the Eurocentrism in the art. I’m not sure what policies are for reposting the art on a separate site, so I’d encourage everyone to look on the litjoy website to see it for themselves.

Is the art beautiful? Yes. Does it depict characters canonically described as brown with Eurocentric features? Also yes.

Although Weep is a fictional place, we can still fairly easily draw some parallels between the people of Weep and real world people and cultures. Off the top of my head, @readingbooksinisrael made a post (linked in replies) noticing how the words at the beginning of each chapters sounded Semitic, @inkwingart created incredible artwork of Sarai (linked in replies) without the Eurocentric features of the official art, rightfully calling out the differences between how the characters are described and how some artists choose to depict them, and I’m sure that others have spoken on this as well.

Despite the written portrayal of the people of Weep and godspawn as non-white, it’s easy for artists to avoid depicting them with non-Eurocentric features and only use blue skin as a defining feature.

Within the broader art community, I’ve seen conversations on how to depict characters of different racial and ethnic backgrounds without just changing the skin color and keeping all of the other features identical. Some art styles (typically more cartoony and stylized) definitely do draw all characters with the same face and rely on clothing, hair, and other distinctive characteristics to tell them apart. But this isn’t really enough. When artists provide enough detail to show Eurocentric features but consider using a different shade of brown (or in this case, blue) to be “enough” in terms of drawing diversely, they aren’t hitting the mark.

Ultimately there is no “right” way to visually depict these characters. However, I would encourage artists to think deeper about their designs and question why they chose certain features for certain characters, and if these features are consistent with the source material. I’d like to give the artists involved with the litjoy crate the benefit of the doubt and assume that they weren’t thinking about the implications of their art erasing the godspawn’s brown heritage, but unless any of them have made a statement, I think it’s up to everyone to decide for themselves whether these portrayals are worth supporting.

(That being said, I do adore the landscapes! It’s incredible to see these magical places brought to life. Highly, highly recommend looking at the art just for that!)

I also want to talk a bit about consumerism within the book community and whether this set is worth it, especially if you already own the books. Please keep in mind that I don’t intend this as a callout for anyone or a be-all-end-all for this discussion. My thoughts are my own and do not affect how you spend your money!

Personally, I’m not the sort of person who buys more than one copy of a book. With my current living situation, I don’t have infinite room for books and I (tragically) don’t have the money to buy every beautiful book I see! Although I only own Strange the Dreamer and not Muse of Nightmares, I still won’t be buying this collection because I know that the second copy of Strange the Dreamer will just be collecting dust on my bookshelf and taking up space from other books that I don’t already own copies of.

As of writing this (March 14, 2021) preorders haven’t opened yet so I don’t know how expensive this set is, but if you don’t already have the books and want them, this looks like a great set that’s definitely worth looking in to! However, and here’s where I circle back to your point about regretting not collecting it, I personally don’t think it’s worth buying just for the sake of collecting everything to do with this series.

If owning these editions will make you happy in the long term and you have the resources to purchase them, go for it. I think it’s important to remember though that regardless of which editions you own or whether you’ve read the books through your public library, you still have the story. This world and these characters will always exist in your mind! That being said, I think a lot of people within the book community look to special editions, different cover art, and other merch as a way to become closer to the stories that we love. Even though these may offer new visuals or (in some cases) deleted scenes and extra written material, they don’t change the fundamental story. The experience of reading these stories doesn’t depend on owning special editions. Ultimately, if you’re buying multiple copies of a book, you’re pretty much only paying for the experience of having a pretty cover on your shelves. There’s nothing wrong with that (I know I’ve been guilty of paying extra for a slightly prettier cover!) but that’s the only thing you’re missing out on when you don’t buy these editions.

Especially with the rise of BookTube and Bookstagram as ways of seeing what other readers’ shelves look like, I’ve noticed people putting more stock into what others own as opposed to what they’ve read. Although not perpetrated by everyone in the community, there is some pressure to own all of your favorite books and have the fanciest editions to show just how much of a fan you are, when ultimately that doesn’t mean anything. The person who owns every special edition and the person who checked out their library’s copy can both love the story just as much. We as readers shouldn’t have to “prove” our loyalty to different stories or authors to enjoy them. It’s perfectly alright to not own your favorite books or everything by your favorite author! It’s the experience of reading these stories that brings us together as a community, not the experience of buying everything relating to these stories.

All that being said, it’s still a personal decision whether you want to buy these editions or not. Do what brings you joy! And if that’s owning these books, more power to you. If anyone wants to chime in with more thoughts on the artwork or whether these copies are worth buying, I’d love to discuss it further and have an open discussion. We all have different perspectives and can learn so much from each other through respectful conversation.

[lifeofroos]

This Might Be Crazy: Final Chapter: Tea

Why hello there! It is me, Roos (Pronounced like you do ‘Rose’), the author of This Might Be Crazy. Make yourself at home, take a cup of tea, find a chair and relax. 

Because it really is kind of crazy. In September 2020, the final instalment of the trials of Apollo-series came out. In this volume there was a little quip about Nico getting councelling from Dionysus. Fast forward to October and no-one had written a fic about Nico getting therapy yet. So, I decided to damn well do it myself. I had planned up to chapter three, but then I got so many comments with ideas for more that I had to continue. And I didn’t stop. I got 71 chapters and 6 bonus stories far, written over the course of nine and a half months. 

As you read in the last paragraph, this monster literally wouldn’t have existed without the comments. Because of that, I feel like some thank-yous are way overdue:

Blueraven123 on AO3, for commenting on literally every single chapter. You’re a legend and thanks for sitting through the Solangelo stuff :). 

Nikol_Nikiforova For commenting almost as often with an entire thesis!

Weaving_Stories for being there often in the beginning. 

Aquaeclipse for being the first comment ever!

MacarenaH for writing the first comment that really touched me. I remember reading your comment during breakfast and having a slightly better day because of it. Yet, read: the first comment that really touched me. There were many more that did. 

WeezlBot for being a legend who also thinks there should be more Ariadne fanfiction. You’re so, so right. 

ChildOfApollo*-*: No, I didn’t stop. I still thought about your comment sometimes, when I forgot the chapter title again :). 

Catharina2003 for being Dutch which is the Only Nationality Ever

Nico for making me do a double take every time I see your name in the comments. 

And  Something_Someday,  warmestbloggerever,  Fangirlx4,  cutiewithahat,  Spacey_cats,  Himekitsune,  Mickeyd,  Wierdkid20,  TheStarsAndSky,  Sireniral,  RisaKitten,  DrimysAusterus,  Miyanoai,  Atos,  Something_1987,  badbonch420,  Luna Tris Katniss Di Angelo,  Gayboiohio,  gummy bears,  CreatorOrInsanity,  jschoenh,  Mochamochi7,  reynaramen,  1az0rcat,  Fanvergent_P,  Mad_Shady_People, Julia, Bisexualmistake123 and Regal_Bloom476    for leaving their thoughts on AO3 a few times. Thank you very much :). (And I hope I haven’t missed anyone... If I did, feel free to scold me). 

Despry2nd, for being the FanFiction.net OG

Rickandrowling28, for leaving long, longg comments that I loved to see.

Evan Emrys because she said I was her favorite :)

MKDemiGodzilla-Warrior for sticking through from the beginning until the end. 

NaoSa, AyaTheDoggo, addalittlesmoke and  McShizzleSupreme778 for commenting on FanFiction.net ever so often. 

@bfire92 for reading and helping with the whole thing one time :). Keep up the good work yourself! 

And especially, everyone who came to Tumblr to read my work. I’ve got a few hunches as to who read it often ( @daenerys1234 , @punk-drummer-chic @wndrngwldflwrs @neritess ?) but I am sure there were readers who I didn’t see. Once again, feel free to scold me :). 

And then there is everyone else who read the work on FanFiction.net or AO3 or in the Tumblr tags. Who liked and reblogged my stuff. Who send me ideas and random anon messages. Who left kudos. Who read it without making themselves known. Thank you so much. 

I know there are things that could have been done better. Sometimes I feel like Nico healed to quickly, or that I was too slopy with my words, or that my English wasn’t good enough. Don’t get me started on Dionysus’ characterisation, and oh, I keep thinking I should have written an ending where Nico has another husband and Will is only a good friend... But as Dionysus said a few times: There is no use in worrying about what happened. It is what it is, and it is pretty okay.

My biggest failure is that I never thought of a good title. This Might Be Crazy was a stand-in that never changed. I got used to it at some point. 

I am going to miss the characters. Dionysus, Nico, Will, Hades, Mary, everyone I have written about in this story. When you write something for a long time, it becomes a part of you, and it might hurt to let go. 

Why did I stop, then? Because I felt like I couldn’t write with as much passion as I wanted to. It would be a shame to write a work without the love it deserves. When I began, I promised myself I would end it neatly. I hope you think I delivered on my promise.  

If you need something to fill the void in your life, you should read This is Home by BlackPebbleToad (AO3 and FanFiction.net). It’s about Nico getting therapy, but it is about Leo, too. They live at the Waystation, where they learn to heal. I love it and I’d say that, in a way, it’s similair to my own work. 

And of course, I am not quiting writing as a whole! There will be lots of other shorts, for a multitude of fandoms. Feel free to hop by and look at one of those sometimes. 

Have you finished your tea? Then I won’t keep you here for any longer. Go on, find fanfics to enjoy, go outside, find a job and the love of your life. I just hope a little bit of This Might Be Crazy stays with you through all that. Please think of it sometimes, Okay? 

- Roos (LifeOfRose)

[marshmallow-phd]

Missing Piece

Genre: Single Dad!AU

Pairing: Junmyeon x Reader

A/N: @rcse-tvler its here! However, I’m not sure if I really did it justice, but I hope you like it! (also, I wanted to post this yesterday but tumblr was having a freak out on my laptop and refused to cooperate)

**

Junmyeon collapsed into the chair as an exasperated sigh escaped. Finally asleep in his bed, Minjae’s soft, kitten-like snores could be heard drifting out into the hallway. Today, his son had been a handful. The four-year-old had been happy one second and then throwing a fit the next because the plastic car wouldn’t fit on the other toy brand of tracks. Everyone warned Junmyeon about the terrible twos, but no one bothered to inform him that it didn’t really ever end.

Never did Junmyeon imagine that he would be doing this job on his own. For the most part, he thought he wasn’t doing too badly, but days like these drained him. He could feel himself losing patience. When that happened, he left the room and took deep breaths before resuming the role of parent. At times his ears rang from the inhumanly high pitched screams Minjae would release. But the softer moments, like when he fell asleep in his arms or helped him in the kitchen, the joyous laughter that only a child could give off… he wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. Perhaps that was a cliché thing for a parent to say, but there was no other bond like the one between father and son.

Suddenly recharged, Junmyeon hit the armrest with his palm and stood back up. A few things needed to be done around the house and then it was his turn to slide into bed for the night. Before he did, however, he peeked through the crack into his son’s room, smiling to himself.

Minjae had managed to kick off half the sheets, toss a pillow down to the other end of the bed, and work himself into a diagonal position with his tiny yet slightly smelly feet hanging off the edge. Shaking his head, Junmyeon quietly snuck into the room and adjusted Minjae into a more comfortable position. He placed a tender kiss on Minjae’s forehead. The little boy didn’t stir at the touch. With a wide, love-filled smile, Junmyeon straightened up and exited the room, leaving the tiniest crack open so the light from the hallway could leak in.

**

The mall was loud today.

Granted, it was usually loud with the many people milling about, talking in their groups, laughing and mingling while arguing over where to go next. Machines and ovens hummed in the food court. Blenders shrilled and printers shuttered as they pushed out receipts. Children giggled and squealed as they ran around the miniature playground stuffed in a corner of the building.

You enjoyed it, though. The controlled chaos around you. It was like socializing without actually having to interact with others. You felt a part of the human race; you just didn’t have to exhume too much effort for it.

At the moment, you were resting on one of the benches, your shopping bags sitting at your feet. Too impatient to start your book when you got home, you’d pulled it out from one of the fresh crisp bags and flipped to the first chapter. The antics around you became background noise as the author’s words pulled you in. At least, until you felt a small on your sleeve.

You looked down to see a small boy with tear stained cheeks and a trembling bottom lip standing beside the bench.

“I can’t find daddy,” he said in a tiny voice. You almost had to strain to hear the imperfect syllables.

“You can’t find your dad?” you asked, just to make sure that you heard him correctly. The boy nodded. You glanced around to see if you could spot a frantic looking man, but everyone seemed to be blissfully unaware of any missing child. Giving the boy a comforting smile, you held out your hand. “Come on. We’ll find a nice security guard and see if we can find your dad.”

“Okay,” the boy mumbled. His tiny fingers slid into yours and you walked him over to the security kiosk a few feet away.

“Excuse me. This little boy is lost.”

The security guard behind the desk leaned over the counter and looked down at the boy with concern. “Oh, no. What’s your name, sweetheart?”

The little boy looked up you as if waiting for your approval to answer the question.

You crouched down so you were at his level. “What is your name?”

“Kim Minjae” the boy whispered. You looked up at the security guard, who apparently heard him. She turned to the phone at the desk and made an announcement into the speaker asking for the father of Kim Minjae to please come to the security kiosk by the playground. The announcement crinkled out from the ceiling. Now there was nothing to do but wait. 

Noticing that the boy was trembling, you picked him up and placed him on the counter to rest before removing your jacket and draping it around his shoulders. The boy was already wearing a thing zip hoodie, but you thought the gesture might give him a form of comfort. “It’ll be alright. We’ll find your dad, okay?”

“I know,” Minjae nodded confidently. . “He said if I ever got lost to find a nice lady and she would help me.”

You laughed at the bluntness of his words. “Well, your dad is a smart man.”

“He says he’s handsome, too.”

There was no way you could hold back the snort after that. Kids really did say the most hilarious and random things. You couldn’t help but wonder if the father was as cute as the son.

Immediately, you blinked that thought away. He was probably married or at least in a relationship with the boys’ mother. Or anyone, really.

“Minjae!”

The boy’s face lit up at the sound of his name, flinging his arms open. “Daddy!”

A man with dark brown hair came sailing between the two of you and wrapped his arms around Minjae. “Oh, thank god!” He leaned back, hands on Minjae’s shoulders. “Where did you wonder off to? I thought I told you to stay by me?”

Minjae pouted out his bottom lip. With that tiny cute hand, he pointed to the playground. “I wanted to play.”

The man sighed. “Well, next time, ask and we’ll play when daddy’s done. Alright?” When Minjae nodded, the man ruffled his son’s hair playfully.

“You’re very lucky that this nice lady found him,” the security guard pointed out.

As if only realizing that you were there, the man turned to you. “Oh, right! I’m so sorry. Thank you for finding my son.”

“Oh, no worries,” you said, waving his thanks away. “Really, your sound found me. I just happened to be reading on the bench when he asked me for help.”

There was a slight pause, neither of you sure of what else to say. You were about to finally say goodbye when Minjae intervened.

“Do you like ice cream?”

Smiling, you nodded. “Yes, I do. Do you like ice cream?”

Minjae nodded enthusiastically.

“It’s the least you could do since she helped your child,” the security guard added not-so-subtly.

“Um, of course.” Minjae’s father scratched the back of his neck nervously. “If you’re free, that is.”

You almost said no. But… Minjae was looking up at you with wide, pleading eyes, the security guard was wearing a smirk and… well, he was cute. Just like his son. And you didn’t spot any ring indicating he was married.

“Alright,” you agreed, giving in. “Ice cream sounds good.”

Minjae cheered, which in turn earned a laugh from his father. Even that was cute, turning his brown eyes into crescent moons.

“I’m Junmyeon, by the way.”

You gave him your name shyly in return. This wasn’t exactly how you pictured this day at the mall going, but you weren’t exactly upset about it.

A few minutes later, after Junmyeon filled out an incident report the security guard insisted was mandatory, the three of you were headed to the small ice cream parlor located a few shops over. Clever strategic planning by the owners, if anyone asked you. While Minjae got a particularly messy looking chocolate cone, you stuck with a much less embarrassing single scoop in a clear plastic cup.

“So,” Junmyeon cleared his throat after several minutes of you all enjoying the dessert. “Minjae said that… you were... reading? When he asked you for help?”

His awkward approach was almost too adorable. “Yeah, I was. Just a new book I’d picked up today.”

“So, you like to read?” he inquired with a little more self-assurance.

“Yeah, I do.”

“What – oops, hold on, buddy.” Junmyeon took one of the napkins stacked on the table and wiped away the dribble of chocolate that was making its way down Minjae’s chin. The little boy giggled before diving back in for more. It would only be a matter of time when he gave himself another chocolate beard.

Your heart back flipped at the gesture. This was dangerous. You barely knew his name and you were already developing somewhat of a crush. Part of you was wondering already about the possibility of seeing him again, but you didn’t want to tread murky waters.

“Do you read?” you asked. 

“When I can,” he said. “Since its just me taking care of Minjae, I don’t have as much time to read new books as I’d like. Well, except for the children’s books that Minjae likes.” Another round of soft laughter bounced between the two of you before dying out slowly. You weren’t sure what pushed you to ask, but it was out before you could think it through. 

“I don’t mean to pry,” you started, pushing the now empty cup off to the side. “But….” You clamped down on your bottom lip. You chickened out, but the notion was already out there.

“Where’s Minjae’s mom?” Junmyeon finished for you. His shoulders slumped slowly and he gave his son a long look. “Hey, why don’t you go ask the nice man at the counter for a cup and get some water?”

“Okay!” Minjae hopped down out of his chair, completely unaware of the turn of the conversation.

Turning back to you, Junmyeon kept his gaze down on his fidgeting fingers.

“You really don’t have to tell me,” you said. Regret was a heavy emotion. Right now, it felt like it could sink you through the floor. “It’s none of my business. I’m sorry.” Needing to get away, you grabbed your coat from the seat next to you and stood to your feet. A warm hand caught your wrist, stopping you.

“No, it’s okay,” he insisted. “I should be okay talking about it by now. Please. Don’t go.”

You sat back down and waited.

“She passed away when Minjae was born,” he explained quietly. He snuck a peek at Minjae, who was keeping the cashier entertained with all the questions imaginable about ice cream. “It never occurred to me that could happen – not in this day and age with technology – but she did. She’d always had a bit of a weak heart so the doctors think it was the strain….”

By pure instinct, your hand jumped out and engulfed his. “I’m so sorry.”

He glanced down at your hands, the corner of his lip lifting slightly. “It’s alright. I still have Minjae and we’ve been getting along really well. Although it would be nice to have a roommate that picks up after himself.”

Both of you laughed at the silly joke, releasing the tension that had been building.

“Is (y/n) coming home with us?”

The two of you jumped back at Minjae’s sudden reappearance.

“No, Minnie,” Jumnyeon told him. If you weren’t mistaken, it almost sounded like he was as disappointed as Minjae looked. “Although, we should probably get going. It’s about time for your nap.”

“I’m not tired!” Queue the yawn he was obviously trying to suppress.

“I think that gives you away,” you teased. You and Junmyeon stood up, each of you putting on your coats before the three of you headed for the shop entrance. “It was nice to meet you.”

He nodded back. “You as well. And thank you again, for helping Minjae.”

“Of course.” The little voice in your head was screaming for you to ask for his number - for any sort of contact information at all - but you ignored it, letting the two of them walk away while Minjae waved to you sadly. You stood there for an extra minute or two, wondering if you’d lost your chance. 

“Um, miss?”

You turned around to the cashier who had called out to you. “Yes?”

He held out a tiny blue coat. “Your son left his jacket.”

“Oh, I don’t have-” You stopped. That was Minjae’s jacket. Was this, perhaps, a sign that you weren’t supposed to let them go? Going with it, you took the jacket and ran in the direction you’d seen the pair go off in.

Just your luck. You’d lost them.

Then another idea popped into your head.

Heading back to the security kiosk, you were relieved to find the same guard still manning the post.

“Hi, um, sorry, but do you remember me?” you asked, completely out of breath.

“Of course,” the guard smiled. “How can I help you?”

“Okay, so I know that this probably completely against policy, but I was wondering if I could see the incident report he filled out early?”

The guard raised an eyebrow out you. “So, you can see his address?”

You cringed. “Well… yes. But I have his son’s jacket,” you held it up as proof, “and I’m sure he’d like it back.”

“Well, I’m not really supposed to do this….” The guard reached down into a file cabinet and pulled out a single sheet of paper, “but if I leave it out and go get a drink, I can’t stop you from taking a picture of it.”

“Oh, my gosh, thank you!”

She smiled cheekily at you before exiting the kiosk. “For what?”

Rolling your eyes, you scanned the sheet, finding the address and snapping a picture of it. The house was nowhere near your own so you never would have found them without help. Thank goodness for that security guard.

Once you were outside of the home, you sat in your car for a good twenty minutes, too nervous to get out. What if he thought you were overstepping or a stalker? What if he wrote down a different address for privacy and an old woman answered the door?

Actually, you’d take the second one over the first.

Brushing up your courage, you grabbed the jacket from the passenger’s seat and forced yourself out of the car. Your steps were hurried as you went up the driveway. Chalk drawings on the porch told you that you might have the right house after all. You knocked, waited.

The door creaked open slowly.

**

Minjae was refusing to take a nap in his bed even though he’d fallen asleep in his car seat on the way home. Junmyeon had gotten him to at least lay down on the couch while a cartoon quietly played on the TV. Inspired by his earlier encounter, he cracked open a book he had started ages ago. But he found it hard to concentrate on the words. 

He couldn’t get you out of his head. It had only a brief meeting. Yet, he was replaying the small encounter over in his head. You’d been so sweet to Minjae and kind and warm towards him. He thought that... maybe you were feeling the odd connection between the two of you as well?

A knock came from the front door, making him jump. Minjae groaned from the couch, but didn’t wake fully. Curious, Junmyeon stood up and answered the door. He felt himself lite up as soon as he saw you. “(y/n)! What are you doing here? How did you-”

You held up Minjae’s jacket shyly. Junmyeon hadn’t even realized his son was no longer wearing it when they left the mall. “Minjae left his jacket and I wasn’t able to catch you. The security guard gave me your address from the report you filled out.”

“Well, thank y-”

“(y/n)!”

Awakened from his nap, Minjae pushed passed Junmyeon and wrapped his arms around your legs, a wide, toothy grin given just for you.

“Hi, there!” you greeted back. You ran your fingers through his air sweetly. Junmyeon’s heart swelled that he’d taken such a liking to you.

Still holding on to you, Minjae turned to Junmyeon and asked, “Now can she stay?”

Junmyeon pursed his lips. He didn’t want to seem too eager in agreeing. Plus, the father in him was still very much present. “Really, you’re supposed to be taking a nap.”

His son took that as a yes and grabbed your hand, pulling you inside. You were barely able to throw an apologetic look over your shoulder to Junmyeon as you were tugged along. Junmyeon chuckled at his son’s actions. He was always a determined little fellow, quick to action before anyone could contradict him. Within minutes, you were on the floor of Minjae’s bedroom, helping him build the tracks for his race cars. Junmyeon stood in the doorway, watching you two.

Minjae often got along with people, but he’d never taken to someone so well. Though he barely knew you, Junmyeon was enjoying the sight of you engaging with his son, listening inventively and being intentional with your actions. He hadn’t dated much since Minjae’s mother passed away. It hadn’t been a priority with Minjae needing him. But... maybe now wasn’t a bad time to start again. 

“Daddy, come join us!” Minjae insisted.

Smiling, he came over and sat down on the floor next to you. He asked Minjae questions about which tracks should he use and which car was the fastest. He caught you staring at him. Perhaps you were thinking along the same lines.

“Would you like to stay for dinner?” he asked softly in order to not be overheard by the busy four-year-old.

“Yeah,” you smiled, replying in an equally quiet voice. His heart jumped at your positive reply. “Dinner would be great.”