#also i'm not actually here just posting gifs and bouncing.

[kremlin]

"This event ends the moment you write us a check, and it better not bounce, or you're a dead motherfucker" -- Big Bill Hell

There was a time when you'd see little old ladies paying for the groceries with a hand-written personal check, holding up the line, causing an immediately-forgiven slight sense of annoyance with those behind her. Buddy. Those days are over. They've been over. What, did you think you were going to just pop a couple extra zeroes on the end of your paycheck there? Maybe scan your paycheck, open it in photoshop, make a template, print em out all nice? You think you're the first to think of that, dipshit?

It takes the law a long time to catch up with the state of the art. You're reading this on the internet, which means you never use checks. The law has caught up. Your ass will be going to prison immediately and you will see zero return.

You can't even kite checks anymore, and hell, nobody under 40 will even know what that means, due to the blazing fast, two day settlement on all ACH transactions. Let me paint you a picture.

You get paid on Friday, but it is Monday, and bills are due on Tuesday. And you're broke: $0 in the bank. Goose egg. Pop open your checkbook, go to a store, "buy" some things, write a check for the amount. The cashier takes it!

Now take those things you "bought", across town, to another store location, and return them for cold hard cash. Sweet. Bills paid. Friday rolls around, and you just make it to the bank to deposit your paycheck before it closes. After the weekend, the checks you wrote finally post, and they don't bounce! You've kited a check. You've surreptitiously taken a zero-interest loan. And we know your broke ass. The interest rate on that short-term payday loan should have been straight up usurious. We're talking 29%. That makes predatory fuckers like us horny for sex. We're so mad. Now you are going to Federal Prison. For a good minute. Fuckface.

COST: $0.10 (With banks offering free checking accounts + Bic pen)

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor sleet, if you fuck with the mail, we'll rip your nuts off" -- Ronald Mail (Inventor of Mail)

Many people have this misnomer that the most powerful people in politics are democratically elected. The president, of the United States, of America, is a stupid cartoon hotdog. All of them, I don't care. Way less clout than you'd think. Brilliantly, it is the people that the hotdog president appoints who are actually doing anything significant. The director of the CIA. The fucking chairman of the Federal Reserve. Probably the, like, most senior, uh, general of the military, and shit too. I don't know, we don't "do" army here at Bloomberg. You probably don't even know their names! I don't! These are the ones you should be seeing in your sleep.

There's another position like that. Appointed directly by the hotdog. The Postmaster General. That's a real title. He's the CEO of the mail, and buddy, what he may lack in political power relative to the director of the CEO, he makes up in raw sexual energy. Total Tom Selleck energy. Like an airline pilot. We're talking Donald Sutherland in Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I'm tentpoling in my black business slacks just writing this, and all my Bloomberg newsroom bros are peering over my shoulder and also tent-poling. We're not gay though, and especially me, I'm probably the least gay, but sometimes I just lay awake for hours at night what that mustache would feel like pressed against my lips, the unbelievable and utter, total sense of security I'd feel burying my head into his hard chest.

You get it. He's your dad. And if you fuck with the mail, you've fucked with the tools in your dad's garage. And dad's been drinking. You're in for it, bucko, you are in trouble. Do you think the United States Postal Service actually makes any money? Hell no. It costs like five bucks to mail a box basically anywhere I can think of and they give you the boxes for free. You can just walk in the post office and take them. I do that, and then just throw them away, I don't know why, some kind of compulsion. Being able to move shit around like this, quickly, cheaply -- Jesus H, I've got a huge amount of money in my bank account, probably tens of trillions of dollars (due to financial knowledge gained from reading Bloomberg articles) and I could probably mail every single person ever something and still come out in the black.

No way pal. They've thought of that already. The Postmaster General is going to know every time, and he's going to grab you by the shirt collar, wearing his cool as fuck hat, and you're going to get your pants pulled down, and your bare ass spanke...I need to go use the restroom real quick.

We rely on the mail system to get important shit done. It's not something to be taken lightly, and it isn't. Trust me. This is why, like almost every other person who receives mail in this year 2023, I just fucking put a wastebasket under my mail slot. I don't even shred that shit anymore. I just burn it. Takes less time.

COST: $0.63 (Postal stamp)

"Can call all you want, but there's no one home // And you're not gonna reach my telephone // Out in the club, and I'm sipping that bubb // And you're not gonna reach my telephone" -- Lady Gaga

I read something wild that the children of today do not know what a dial tone is, because of how fucked up and stupid they are. Isn't that super fucked up?

While it's not really our style, allow me to fill you in on some ancient, arcane knowledge about the telephone. You can turn it on, and then you can punch in numbers. Any numbers. Random ones, or maybe not random ones. If the ten numbers you punch in are the same as the numbers in someone else's telephone number, their phone will ring, and then you are talking to them. This is called "Phreaking".

Here's the kicker: You can tell that jackass anything you want. "Oh, Hi, Yes, I am Reginald Sumpter calling from Avalon Consulting LLC, we are just following up on the invoice we sent you. Please remit to ###### routing ###### account."

BOOM! Your name isn't Reginald whatever and that company doesn't exist, but you just received a deposit. It's fucking beautiful. What have you done wrong? It isn't your responsibility to handle who your business' clients/etc are, it's their's. If they want to just pay you money for no real reason, well, that's kind of on them, isn't it? I haven't stuck a pistol in your face and demanded everything in the register.

Well, it's too clever. It's too slick. This is the United States of America. It's one thing to commit a felony like armed robbery, it's another thing to piss off someone in charge of the accounting division who uses a special bathroom you need a key to get into.

You can do it on the computer too, I use a PC Computer at work and send email, so you can see how it'd work there. You can make a document that is indifferentiable from a real invoice and, straight up, 1/3 of the time they will pay that shit. Lmfao.

It's called wire fraud because, uhh, duhhhh, there's wires. What do you think that thing is strung between the telephone receiver and the dialer? And computers? Give me a break. There's so many wires with those.

COST: $0.25 (Coin for payphone)

"People calculate too much and think too little." -- Charlie Munger

It is insane how dumb the common man can be when it comes to our world of expertise. I hear this same sentiment, like, ALL THE TIME:

"Durr hurr I will buy an insurance policy for my car or house or whatever so that in case something happens to it I will get money". And then that same person proceeds to drive safely or not burn their house down. Dumbest crap imaginable.

Let me break it down for you. Insurance is a two player competitive game. There is a winner and there is a loser. Go take out an expensive insurance policy on your American sports car. Buy a neck brace, a football helmet, and pack that bitch with throw pillows. Then get in the left lane of a major highway at like noonish, let it rip and then SLAM on your brakes. Hit from behind! Your fault! Congratulations. You have won insurance. How this gets past people is beyond me.

You can only do this once or twice before the insurance companies catch on. Then they don't want to fuck with you. It is also..I don't know man...something feels off about taking a car or a house, which like, some guy had to build and just destroying it, but that is only a weird emotional thing, since you're making money, more than whatever the destroyed thing is worth, so in reality you've built that house plus some extra. You've contributed.

COST: $106.00 (Average monthly car insurance payment)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

SUBSCRIBE TO MY WHATEVER FOR PART TWO, COMING SOON. i'll post it later today probably. whatever time frame will juice the numbers. have a sneaky peaky

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[thatdeadaquarius]

Okay so-- i was reading some sagau posts and came across this one where the reader was an army vet and my brain just Did Its Thing--

So now I'm here to inflict this on to you--

Would guns be considered as catalysts. And would they only do Phys Damage.

Me reading this ask:

😶 😐 🤨 🧐 🧐 😰 🥲 😭😭😭 💀

STOP YOU'VE INFLICTED ME WITH PSYCHOLOGICAL DMG FROM THIS ASK 😭

(Also srry took so long to respond, when i didnt realize how short this was/was just sitting over here 😓)

^ For the sake of gun imagery being a lot/maybe staff might hate me for it,

we'll put this gay shit instead (i almost mispelled to "gay shot" lmao)

☆

Sun: Army Veteran Reader, Gender neutral Reader (you/they/them)

Orbit: SHORT Headcanons

Stars: everybody bc i think itd be funny

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: gun stuff, mild violence, mild cursing & Trigger Warnings: Gun fun everywhere

THIS ASK HAS ME GIGGLING TO MYSELF LIKE A MANIAC

You're out here having a whole gun they let you take for off-base

And u ofc have a license so u can conceal carry

(idk how non-american gun laws work, but tbh ours are so fucked idk how they work here either, just that an army guy i knew once could have his gun when he got back home)

And ofc ur just paranoid enough (more like it just makes u feel safe)

That when u get yoinked into a portal to a silly little brightly colored gacha game fantasy world, the gun comes with 💀

Id like to add in my silly little "ur in a video game, so video game rules" AU version of genshin so:

The only other gun (ish) wielder (Mika) has unlimited bolts

Sooo I'd think your gun would be the same jfc lol

NO BC YOUD SCARE THE ACTUAL SHIT OUT OF EVERYONE IN UR VICINITY IN A BATTLE

BC GUNSHOTS ARE A DIFFERENT TYPE OF LOUD

When u first stumble into abyss monsters/hostile creatures of the realm, u nearly scare off a Lawlachurl bc every shot's like thunder to these bitches😭

So not only the monsters but the vision holders think u fucking summoned lightning

OMG THE BULLETS ARE SO FAST THEYD PROBABLY NOT SEE IT

ESP BC DISTRACTED BY GUNSHOT LOUDNESS

SO U AIM THIS LITTLE BLACK CROSSBOW (???) AND THINGS JUST DIE (OR GET RIDDLED WITH HOLES) WITH NO CLEAR ARROW STICKING OUT

STOPP- you're becoming a witchy god or smth to all of Teyvat bc it just looks like hella high level magic atp to them LMAOOO

Rumors of you get out of hand and say u just point or snap ur fingers and things get wounded/just die on the spot 💀

Oh another difference between Teyvatians seeing ur gun vs. crossbow (what they know)

Is that guns are wayyyy more destructive

Like an arrow would get shot but it'd bounce off of things like rock or wood or metal, maybe dent a little depending on how close

But a bullet goes thru that shit so easy, and leaves a whole little explosion behind, once again depending on range

(I once saw a Mythbusters episode? of them proving bullets would definitely go thru car doors, like movies lied to u, this is why drive-bys acc work like for gangs)

Lmao, the image of you in like full armor with a Teyvat made automatic gun after showing it to blacksmiths

Makes u just more convincing as a god, esp bc military training

(Ppl like Gorou and Kokomi begging for military tactics/training ur world has done)

...

....Ok.

I'll address it.

But only so u dont think im stupid later.

Yes, the Fatui have guns.

No, this not the same as having a glock LMAO

End of story.

(Also, urs runs on bullets, whereas the Fatui rely on magic/delusions to power theirs, plus they dont seem as fast or destructive as urs, more "explosions aimed at you" than real bullets)

Which,,, u leave the managing of ppl copying ur gun to ppl like the Qixing or smth, but make sure to give them advice on good gun laws if teyvat accidentally revolutionizes bc of ur advanced gun that anybody can wield (non-vision users)

Thats the best ive got abt that

Oh, also enjoy being praised as a War god now.

:)

☆

... dammit i had smth i was gonna tell u guys-

Uh what tf was it, it was important

OH

Next post is the Eldritch God Oneshot! Look out for it :) !!

☆

Safe Travels Kid,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

[urrockstar-xe]

got your back - j.m x fem!reader

posted may 16th, 2023 2:13 pm

anon asked: HII for your summer lovin requests how about prompt 9 “don’t have enough middle fingers to tell you how I feel” and 14 “i’m personally offended you didn’t get me to be your fake date” with JJ maybank with an enemies to lovers arc🤭 (fem!reader please!) thank you so much 🫶

9:“I don’t have enough middle fingers to tell you how I feel” | 14“I’m personally offended that you didn’t get me to be your fake date”

picked gorgeous bc i thought it fit :))

this is my first writing enemies to lovers so i'm so sry if it's not that great but i tried and it's kinda cute imo lmfao, it's also Not at ALL canon. i hope you enjoy, ty for requesting *heart* (it glitches out whenever i put an actual heart) - xx

masterlist

word count: 1.4k

“I’m personally offended that you didn’t get me to be your fake date” You glared at JJ as he spoke, earning a wink in return before you looked back at John B. 

“You’re working the event so I’m the fake date,” John B explained, though no explanation was needed. 

“We really have to do all of this? Can’t Sarah just hang with us tomorrow? It’s not like we have all summer or anything” Kie teased. Sarah had this kook party with a bunch of adults and fancy alcohol and appetizers that she really did not want to attend, and because John B had to save the damsel in distress, he devised a plan to whisk her away into the night. 

“Hey, why aren’t you going?” Pope asked, looking at Kiara. “My parents have to sort out something for the restaurant tonight” 

“Meaning, Kiara is our getaway driver” John B smiled, confident in his planning abilities. Pope looked back at John B, “Heyward’s not working this event, what do I do?” John B then looked at JJ, hoping he’d come up with something on the spot. You sighed as Kie stood up.

“You could just chill in the Twinkie with me while we wait or something?” She shrugged, John B clapped his hands together, “Yes that’s perfect!” 

“Alright, guess that’s what I’m doing then,” 

“Great! We’re all ready then?” John B asked, backing up as he looked at his friends. “Yeah, Jb you can come get ready at mine,” You said, almost missing the look of distaste on JJ’s face as you spoke, John B nodded in response. “See you all there then?” Everyone agreed, settling on this unnecessary plan. 

Two hours had passed before you finally made it to the Cameron residence, you and John B spotted Sarah almost immediately, she was helping her sister with something. You tried to stay tuned in to what John B was explaining but you were sidetracked, looking for JJ among the group of kooks. Once you spot him you sighed, almost with relief? No, JJ was reckless and kooks were scary. You were just glad to know he’d be on your side if any of Topper’s friends managed to corner you. At least you had hoped he would be on your side, sure you bickered a lot but you were pogues and when it came to a kook, you’d have each other’s backs.

You watched as he charismatically smiled and laughed at any of the dumb jokes made by the older kooks there, no doubt hoping to earn a few tips before you all had to make your exit. His hair slightly bounced whenever he moved and his skin looked pretty with the orange and yellow hue thanks to the sunset, he looked pretty all fancied up. 

You jumped at the sound of John B’s voice snapping you out of whatever trance you were just in, you felt his hand on your shoulder. “You okay?” you looked up at your friend, nodding in response. He nodded with you, looking over your face as if to check if you were lying before he held up a small folded piece of paper. “I’m gonna go get this to JJ, you stay here or mingle or whatever, I’ll be back in like 5 minutes.” He explained, not giving you much time to answer before he walked away. 

Looking back in the direction of JJ you saw him already looking at you, he winked at you before he downed one of the cups on his tray and continued his best act yet. You scoffed, not being able to help the smile on your face. 

You watched as John B tried to be stealthy, giving the note to JJ before turning in your direction and motioning behind him, implying he was going to the Twinkie. You raised your hands in a “what do you mean?” motion as a response and got a shrug in return before John B turned and made his way out of sight, leaving you alone. 

You sighed and attempted to look for Sarah among the people there, hoping you could make the escape with her. You found her not too long into searching, she was talking to JJ, well She was talking, JJ was just handing her the note and then almost dancing away. 

Before you could get to her she was already gone, following the direction you had just watched Jb leave in. “fuck” you muttered to yourself, hands falling to your sides in defeat as you examined the crowd once more for the familiar blonde. 

You watched as he walked inside, assuming he was trying to leave without getting interrupted by anyone wanting a fresh drink. This was your last chance to not have to worry about finding the Twinkie on your own so you practically ran trying to catch up to him. 

Hearing the voice of Rafe stopped you dead in your tracks, and the way JJ responded meant Rafe was intentionally starting shit, but that of course didn’t surprise you. 

The situation was obviously escalating so, taking a breath in, you began walking again, straight into the lion's den. “Hey,” the sound of your voice caught JJ’s attention first, he was currently pinned against the wall thanks to the oldest Cameron sibling being on a power trip. JJ’s busted lip was clear as day from where you stood, finally, Rafe turned to you absolutely fuming. 

“Fuck are you doing here?”

You crossed your arms over your chest hoping it didn’t look like you were shielding yourself from him before responding. “Don’t you have something better to do than pick on a teenage boy?” Your tone was harsh and mean, exactly how you wanted it to sound. 

JJ’s eyes flicked between you and Rafe for a minute before Rafe let him go, his eyes not leaving yours as he did so. JJ looked back at you, not missing the way your harsh demeanor faltered ever so slightly once Rafe was no longer preoccupied with JJ. “C’mon, J, they’re waiting for us” Your eyes remained locked on Rafe as you spoke, JJ nodded, “Good talk, man,” he said, making his way to your side before you grabbed his hand and practically dragged him out of there.

Your hands were still interlocked when you made it far away from the house enough to yell at him. “What the fuck was that about JJ?” he shrugged, “you know how Rafe gets, he needed a punching bag” “How come that punching bag always ends up being you?” “Must have a crush on me or somethin’” he joked, a smile covering his lips. You scoffed.

“Did you at least get one good hit in?” his smile grew bigger at the question, “oh yeah, nice big ol’ bruise will be on his jaw within an hour” You smiled at this, rolling your eyes and shifting your gaze behind the boy instead of on him. “Worried about me, mama?” his tone was teasing. “You get murdered on my watch I’ll be cast out of the friend group,” you teased back, not missing the way he stepped closer to you, only inches away from your face now. 

He nodded, “damn, tell me how you really feel, Y/n/n” You grinned back. “I don’t have enough middle fingers to tell you how I feel” 

JJ laughed in response, your face softened before you spoke again, “Seriously, try to steer clear of Rafe Cameron for a little while” 

“So you are worried about me” you rolled your eyes, “if that’ll make you listen, yes, I am worried about you” JJ smirked in a way he only does when he’s up to something, eliciting a sigh from you. “I’ll listen even better if you let me take you out sometime?” you looked up at him through your eyelashes, studying his face to make sure he wasn’t fucking with you. The way his face softened the same as yours had a few seconds ago confirmed he was genuinely trying to ask you out. 

“For real?” You ask, he nodded eagerly, his smile returning. You smiled back, nodding your head “Okay, you can take me out,” JJ fist-bumped the air, you laughed.

“C’mon, everyone is waiting at the Twinkie” 

“John B is not gonna believe that you actually said yes,” 

“I can’t believe I actually said yes,” you joked, getting a laugh in response as JJ threw his arm around your shoulder.

[certified-sleep-deprived]

《Pavane》

Chapter 1:

Warnings/notes: none unless you hate orchestra stuff??, mentions of weed/smoking pot, Agatha is flirty. I'll post the other two chapters on my break tomorrow because I'm so out of it rn. Gives you guys more time to decide if you want to be on my taglist for this series. This shit ain't proofread... take that as you will.

Wc: 2.2k+

Your eyes were bouncing and rolling around inside of your skull by the time you arrived at your new apartment in downtown St. Paul. No one told you that driving straight through from Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania to the Twin Cities was easy. But, then again, common sense should tell you to at least take a nap break or two in the middle and not just live off of Starbucks as you drive from the East Coast to the Mid-fucking-West. It also didn't help that you were stuck in a traffic jam in Chicago for at least an hour, and then the shit show of a storm you experienced driving through Wisconsin. Safe to say you were beat when you parked your car in the communal garage.

It happened so suddenly: you were sitting in your tiny Stroudsburg apartment when you got the call from the conductor of the Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra himself to congratulate you on getting in. He said that you had two weeks until you would actually start, and it didn't start to gnaw at you until the call ended and there was time for it to digest in your stomach. Tyler Hayward, conductor of the Orchestra you auditioned for and desperately wanted to get into, called you himself to tell you that you got in. It was surreal.

His vocal warning of the two-week deadline was what got you scrambling on the internet about housing near the concert hall where you would be playing at.

You had found a cheap, dingy apartment in downtown St. Paul. It was not ideal, but you told yourself it was only temporary until you could afford something better.

So, here you are now, in the garage of said apartment, ready to knock the fuck out in the driver seat of your Ford Focus, and all of your things, including your cello, in the back.

You were perfectly content with falling asleep in the seat, it even felt like it was encouraging you, but the sudden tapping of a finger on your window as you were drifting off didn't help. Your head lazily lolled to the left as you found the culprit behind the window tapping. It was a woman with slightly wavy, auburn hair that flowed down and around her shoulders like a shower curtain. Her green eyes seemed to pierce through the window as her concerned gaze met your sleep-deprived one. She tapped on the window again as if to make sure you were actually awake. You grumbled as you sat up in your seat and stretched your back.

Before opening the door, you let out a long, exasperated sigh and pinched the bridge of your nose as you prepared to deal with the first person you were meeting in this new city. The door swings open and the mystery woman stepped out of its path before she got smacked by it. You squeeze your eyes shut and re-open them to try and wake yourself up slightly before attempting to speak to the woman in front of you.

Your head tilts up and your eyes find hers, and in a groggy voice, you ask, “Can I help you?”. It came off very short and clipped, not exactly like you could help it, but the woman in front of you simply swallowed before responding. “You just looked like you could use some help. I'm assuming you're new here, right? I'm only asking because of your Pennsylvania license plate. I haven't seen it here before. Anyways, I'm Wanda. Wanda Maximoff.” She extends a hand out to you, and you take it and introduce yourself before she shakes your hand.

“I'm guessing you live in this building?” You inquire, and she simply nods energetically.

God, you think as you take in her aura, how can someone be this active at two o'clock in the damn morning? Although, then again, you're pretty out of it from driving almost a day straight, but even still. Maybe you just need a joint, that would probably help.

Before you get too lost in your thoughts, you take your keys out of the ignition and you get out of your car to lock it, grabbing your new apartment keys in the process.

“Does this mean you're my new neighbor?” She asks, and it takes you a good minute to register that she was even speaking, your lack of sleep was catching up quickly. You rub your eyebag-laced eyes before replying, “I suppose so, if you live in this building too”.

Her eyes seem to light up before she takes one of your hands in hers, excitedly, and practically drags you to the garage door that leads into the apartment building. “Come on! You've got to meet my roommate! You're going to love her, trust me. She may seem stone-cold at first, but once you get to know her, you'll love her!” She exclaims, pulling you up the stairs by your wrist to her apartment. Your feet stumble as Wanda runs up as if she were running on scalding coals.

“Wanda I don't want to intrude-” “Nonsense! Come on in, I insist!” You are dragged into her apartment and the door nearly slams behind you as she yells for her roommate, leaving you feeling awkward as you take in the living space.

“Harkness! Get in the living room, we've got a new neighbor!”

You cover your ears from the volume of Wanda's energetic voice, but you have time to take in the apartment as her roommate takes her sweet ass time getting to the living room.

It's dimly lit, only lit by candles and the light of the television in the living room that's on power saver mode. The furniture is rustic in style, like it was pulled out of the twentieth century. There is a bookshelf littered with books on witchcraft and paganism, and then tiny jars of Sage leaves and buds of Marijuana are placed on random shelves. So, they must be pot smokers too, you think. But that's not the most important thing that you find or that is even on your mind. You spot a violin case in the corner between the bookcase you were just analyzing and the wall that the TV is perched on. It was a metallic silver, and it was clearly worn from constant use and age. It was decorated with a couple of rabbit stickers and other stickers that give a witchy vibe. It's owner probably gives off the same vibe if you had to guess at all.

Before you could press further, a new female voice rings into your ears and disrupts you from your thoughts on the violin,

“Wanda, why must you be so loud when you- oh, hello there. You must be the one that Wanda is making all this noise about. I'm Agatha Harkness. Nice to meet you, dear”. She extends a hand out to you, and that's when you finally see her, and she immediately takes your breath away.

She stands a few inches taller than you, with long, messy, wavy brown hair that pools around her shoulders some, and the rest over her back. She looks at least twice your age, you assume. But, then again, you kind of have a thing for older women. Her pale blue eyes looked like they could cut right through diamond, and you for that matter with how sharp they looked. You didn't even realize you were staring at her until she said something.

“You're staring, bunny”. Your head snaps up and a wave of heat flows through your face. The intensity and heat of her gaze on you sent warmth pooling elsewhere

“My bad. I'm Y/N L/N. I'm your new neighbor” You say, taking her hand and shaking it like you had done with Wanda's earlier, only this time, Agatha was calm and gentler than her auburn roommate. Her hand lingers until Wanda breaks the intensity of your gazes.

“She was eyeing up your violin over there, Agatha. I'm guessing you play, Y/N?” Wanda jests, but is seemingly curious.

“I wish. I've always wanted to play the violin, but my parents insisted I took cello lessons instead. I've been playing since I was five, and now I'm almost twenty-four”. You pinch the bridge of your nose again as you struggle to keep yourself awake, the lack of caffeine slowing your brain down. “I actually moved here because I got accepted into the Minneapolis Symphony. It's been a long ride from Eastern Pennsylvania to here-” “Wait, that's you? You're the new cellist our conductor was telling us about!” Wanda interrupts you as she nearly yells with excitement.

You must have looked confused because Agatha cut in to explain, “Excuse her giddiness. Our conductor, Tyler Hayward, told us we were getting a brand new cellist from the East Coast in a couple of weeks, but we didn't think you'd be here this early”. A smile makes its way onto your face at the thought of my arrival having anticipation behind it. It's definitely not something you are used to.

“You both are also in the Minneapolis Symphony? What do you two play?” Your curiosity gets the better of you. “Agatha plays the violin. The one over there in the corner you were eyeing up was hers.” She sent a wink your way, and you weren't sure why, but you brushed it off.

“I play piano for the orchestra. I'm the only one, in fact, who does”, she explains

Your head lolled down and you were fighting a losing battle to keep consciousness at this point as you listened to Wanda. Agatha took notice as she put her hands on your arms and squeezed them to ground you.

“You look exhausted, poor thing. Come, let's get you someplace comfortable to sleep”, she coos, before bringing you down the hall to what is presumably her bedroom.

“Wait, here? Agatha, I couldn't. I don't want to intrude in your space” You try to reason with her, but there is no room for argument in that captivating voice of hers that has you hooked.

“Nonsense, I insist. My bed is much more comfortable than the cold floor of your bare apartment or your car seat”. Her words make your face heat up even more. Her bed…? Is she serious? As if you weren't already enamored with her right off the bat, she was inviting you to sleep in her bed? You must be knocked out on the floor dreaming, but you aren't.

She gently, but firmly pulls you by your hand into her room, her fingers interlaced with yours, and it sends waves of heat throughout your body.

As soon as you walk in, you can tell the room is hers just by the decorations and the aesthetic of it. Posters of herbs and divination litter the walls, along with a few music decorations scattered about. Her desk in the back left corner is littered with pencils and sheet music all over, covering her laptop. Her bed in the other back corner was messy and unmade, like she had just crawled out of it, which would make sense due to the crazy state of her hair. The room is dimly lit with a desk lamp that sits on the sill of her window beside her bed and desk. It was a small room, but it was well lived in, and it was unmistakably hers.

She breaks you out of your admiring state by bringing you to sit on her bed as she goes over to her closet to get pajamas for you.

“Agatha, you don't have to. I can go out to my car and get some clothes for myself. It's not that big of a deal”, you shrug off as she brings them over to you, but she puts them in your lap insistently before she chuckles and responds.

“You're right, it's not a big deal, which is why I'm giving you these to sleep in. I don't want you to collapse from exhaustion on the floor of the garage going out to your car, because trust me, that wouldn't be pleasant. So wear these tonight.” She squeezes your shoulder and her hand lingers for a moment too long to be considered normal, her gaze flicking down to your lips before it flicks back up to your eyes.

It was so quick, that even if you were mostly awake, you probably wouldn't have noticed.

“Get some sleep, bunny. Wanda and I will help you move in some of your stuff tomorrow. I’ll be sleeping on the couch if you need anything". Her hand brushes down your arm light as a feather before squeezing your hand.

Her next move is quick, but it still registers in your sleep-deprived mind.

You feel a set of soft, yet chapped lips press to your cheek quickly before she gets up and nearly speed-walks out of the room, leaving you there on her bed dumbfounded.

Did she really just do that? Yes. Yes she did. And she left you sitting on her bed blushing like a teenage girl who saw her crush in the hallway.

You don't even remember putting on her pajamas until you slide under the thick, plush blankets of her bed. As you do this, the scent of lavender and sandalwood wafts up into your nose. It's her scent, you think, and it does wonders to calm your racing mind from the kiss Agatha left on your cheek. But, it did not do wonders to help your ever inflating crush on the older woman. If anything, it made it ten times worse than it was. Agatha Harkness has you already wrapped tight around her finger, and you've only just met her.

As you turn off the bedside lamp and settle under the covers to drift off to sleep, one thought still plagues your mind: you are so fucked and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

Taglist:

[mrs-monaghan]

So this is inspired by a reply to one of your asks but what do you think each pairs of BTS will be doing if you lock them up in a room for an hour and left unsupervised.

Hello anon. There is way too many pairs in BTS for me to cover them all. So allow me to only do Jikook duos.

I will start with the duos I as Shaz deem to be the weakest, to strongest.

Okay JK's weakest duo which is also his weakest ship; If you've been around for a while you already know who I'm about to say 😂😂😂

Yoonkook.

(The tiktok on the post Here is how I feel about JK's ships. But I swap tkk for ynkk) So Yoonkook alone. Here i talk more about them after the Suchwita episode. But I will now also bring back the IG photos from the concert

Spot the difference? 🤭🤭🤭🤭 and i will be a nice blogger and not bring up the fact that on day 3 while we were busy watching Suga's concert JK was on tiktok liking videos.

Sorry anon..I crack myself up when I talk about Yoonkook but umm... yeah so. We already know what happens when u put them in a room together. They run out of things to talk about. We saw on Suchwita and we saw on Bon voyage by JK's own admission. When I see Yoonkook fanfic on twitter I get very confused 🤭🤭😂😂 because they don't click. Not really. If asked they will choose other members first. Definitely not eo. Yoonkook content with just them 2, I doubt they'd be very entertaining. Not without buffers may it be human or machine 😂

.

Finding Jimin's weakest duo is actually really hard because like RM said; Jimin is the king of chemistry and put him in a room with anyone and it will be funny and quality entertainment. But I will try.

Vmin.

I'm sorry but these 2 alone, together? Nah... Jimin may be the king of chemistry but even he can't fix the Vmin chemistry anymore. There was a time everything used to flow great between them but in recent years Vmin just ain't it. If u think I'm making this up go back to this live before JK comes in

They kept running out of things to talk about too. Jimin even pretended to leave at one point. They were super awkward to say the least and I feel like they were both grateful for JK's presence. @magicshop-pjm1 likes to go "Vmin is dead" every 2 to 4 business days which is absolutely hilarious 😂😂😂 but I think anyone not in denial can admit while yeah, I'm sure they still care about eo, something somewhere went wonky and they're not the same anymore.

This tweet is a joke and its hilarious 🤣😂😂 but unfortunately i find it accurate. Them 2 alone aint it

Taekook.

This was kinda obvious. Some people would rate this duo lower than Yoonkook but I think that's not fair. If you compare them with an unbiased eye Tkk are stronger than ynkk. First they are closer in age which helps. Meaning they're gonna be closer, too. But put them in a room together and it's not even awkward its nothingness. I'm talking silence. By JK's own admission here it just wasn't working. And we all remember the joint IG live where they ran out of things to talk about and JK would play with Bam instead. Another duo where JK needs a buffer for sure. I mean, sure tkk have been out and about but notice how its always with the Wooga squad? Never just them two?

On the plus side, they look really good. So, I'll give them that. 💚

Minimoni

Again this is so hard because Jimin has very strong duos. But yeah, I will put RM second last because RM as a person (bless him and his dimples) he's not the most entertaining and has to bounce off of someone. Them together, alone won't be boring but I'm not sure it would be that memorable or mind blowing. These are just my personal opinions guys so feel free to disagree or chime in. But yeah. I feel Minimoni is 2nd last for me.

I do find it interesting how comfortable RM is with skinship when it comes to Jimin considering he's not big on that in general (unless its Jin) He's even the one who initiates so he is quite comfortable around Jimin.

Anyway, they're a nice duo with a dynamic that gives you UWUs but they're not the most interesting in my eyes. Sorry Minimonis 🤷🏽‍♀️

Namkook

What's the most recent thing that we know about them? We know they hanged out after JK left Jennie's CK event. And we know before that JK said him and RM hadn't drunk together in years. Years. Not months. Now this dont mean they don't see eo. It just means they don't drink together often. I do find this to be significant however because both men love their liquor. But, they drink with other members just not eo so.... 😬😬 again, not making this up, its as per their own admissions

So Namkook in a room together 🤔 what do we got here guys? Have we ever had this? We had a Namkook live but the only memorable thing for me was them outing the fact that Jikook live together. I am blanking on Namkook which makes me feel confident about the position I've put RM.

Give it up for Jimin's type thou everybody 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Jinmin

I would actually have Jinmin and Jihope as a tie but since I'm choosing I will rate Jinmin lower. But man. These 2 together are the absolute best. They are such a comedic entertaining duo. Them together alone in a room is worth every penny if we were asked to pay for any such footage 😂😂 they are funny and they bounce off of eo so well. Never a dull or awkward moment between Jin and Jimin. Never.

These two are the ones you throw to a team that's drowning. They are the ones u assign to a team for better views. I love them together fr fr. Best duo. Such a good duo. Honestly. Throw JK in there and you are set for life with the best trio ever. Go search for any of their compilations and I dare you to be bored.

And we haven't even began to talk about their visuals

First photo of them that pops up on Google and... as it should. Most beautiful man alive Vs world wide handsome =perfection 💯💯💯

(Off topic BTS main visual was always Jin and then V was added to the visual line then eventually JK. Now dont get me wrong all of them are drop dead gorgeous but is there a reason Jimin isn't part of the visual line?? Anyway...)

Hopekook

Hopekook in a room together alone, I'd say that's solid entertainment right there. They're good together, they're funny. It's Jhope we're talking about. He rivals Jimin on having chemistry with the members so him and JK alone i think that's a solid video right there. No awkwardness or nothing and Bonus skinship for the Hopekookers. Good times, really.

JK is extremely comfortable with Jhope so yeah... they're a good duo. No one is getting bored.

Yoonmin

Okay y'all. We know most Yoonmin supporters are rubbish vermin but don't let that make you forget that Yoonmin are extremely entertaining together. Put these 2 in a room alone together and come on... GOLD!! The Yoonmin Suchwita episode is hands down the funniest for me. I laughed from beginning to the end. Swear to God ✋🏽 that episode and the one with the drunk TXT members are great rewatches for me ngl. Also Jimin is Suga's favourite member so Suga is super comfortable with Jimin in everything. But my favorite part of them is the bickering of course.

They can't ever seem to stop fighting which is just so freaking entertaining. Remember ITS 1 when Jhope told Jimin he was being cocky so Jimin said he was going to look for Suga so that the guy could kill his cockiness? He said going to Suga would bring him back down to earth 😂🤣 Because this is who they are, its what they do. They insult eo and call eo out. So people who get mad at Suga need to watch a good old Yoonmin bickering compilation. They've called each other ugly, fat, stupid, skinny, and a bunch of other stuff some people seem to have forgotten.

Anywaaaaaay. Yoonmin alone together is quality content and that's why Suga is high on this list.

Jinkook

Surely I don't need to explain why this duo is number 2 in terms of JK's most entertaining duos. Right? Like its self explanatory? I've stated many times; imo Jin is JK's favourite/closest after Jimin. Some of u disagree and say Jhope nah, its Jin. Imho.

Tom and Jerry, perfect title for them 2. Love it. Put them in a room together and you're set.

chaotic thread here for those who need a refresher

Jihope aka Hopemin

We don't need to imagine. This duo have been alone together or engaged just them enough to know they are entertaining as shit. Its usually mostly Jhope laughing at Jimin's antics but this usually prompts Jimin into getting funnier with every laugh he gets from Jhope.

Tweet

Much like Jinmin they are the duo you shove into a dying group to give it spice. They are absolutely epic and I feel confident putting Hobi on the number 2 spot of Jimin's most entertaining duos.

They do have awkward moments when they're checking eo out to try and out compliment eo but that's just entertaining as well 😂😂

Last but not least Jikook/Kookmin/Minkook/Mingukk

Now hear me out. This isn't just my bias that made me put this duo at the top. Alright? There is this ongoing unfairness taking place in the fandom where people undermine Jimin and JK's funny n chaotic sides.

Tweet

Together they are hilarious and entertaining and this duo doesn't get enough credit for being as funny as they are.

The reason they are number one is because Jikook alone together is a complete programme. Humor, Check. Chaos, Check. Romance, Check. Sexual tension, Check.

Hate or love this duo, they're a perfect recipe for entertainment.

Would love to hear your thoughts but this is how I'd rate them. Thanks for the ask anon, twas fun 💜

[kierancaz]

Soo I saw that you were looking for some writing inspiration/requests and I was wondering if you would be interested in writing a Thorin x Reader fic where Reader is part of the company and both of them really admire each other but are too afraid to admit it at first and before they confess their feelings there's some sort of miscommunication?

This just came to my mind and I hope it could inspire you a little :)

hey !! thanks so much for requesting something !! I tired my best but I have not written for Thorin before so sorry if he's a little ooc haha. Also sorry this took so damn long I kept starting and stopping and also screwed up my sleep schedule and then 3 days in a row kept getting stomach aches and just couldn’t write more than three lines T_T. If it feels inconsistent or confusing I’m sorry I got lost in the sauce and COULDN’T FIGURE OUT WHAT I WAS DOING but I hope you enjoy anyway :)

warnings : none details : reader is human, marriage plot that isn’t super important besides like ^^ the request

pre-post edit: I just went back and read the request again and this might not actually be what you asked for so uh, I’m sorry, but I’m gonna post this anyway bc well it’s written but if you don’t like it lmk and I will try again :)

𝐀𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

It was safe to stay that Thorin was not the happiest camper when you joined the company, but he couldn't deny that you intrigued him a bit. Only a little though, you must understand.

You had joined the company a fair bit later, when they were stopped by the tolls. You had arrived just before Gandalf and saw the group tied up. You were going to ignore them and just carry on your way, after all it wasn't any of your business. But watching the little hobbit try and stall for time while none of the dwarves caught on was amusing enough for you to lend your aid. You had a talent for sneaking around, you made no noise when you walked, had no scent you left behind, and with little effort could blend into any environment.

You crept up onto the rock behind where the group of dwarves was tied and dug around in your bag until you pulled out a mirror. The sun was coming up and just peaking over the rock that the trolls had been staying behind. Laying down flat you brought the mirror in front of yourself and moved it until it caught the sunlight and began to reflect it. You bounce it around for a moment, attempting to get a good angle. Finally, you hit the troll standing farthest away right in the face, there was a small noise it made but it was cut off by it's mouth turning to stone. Quickly its head and shoulders and chest also turned to stone.

"Huh, you say something?" The one troll that had been talking to the hobbit said as he turned around along with the other one that was standing over by the fire. They both gasped and the one that had been talking to the hobbit rounded on the little guy again, "what did you little ferret do?!"

"Ferret?" The hobbit stuttered for a moment, doing his best to hop away but fell on his butt. "N-Nothing, I- we didn't do anything."

"Why you little-" The troll made to grab the hobbit but you quickly adjusted your mirror and light been to hit the troll on the side of the head. It started to turn to stone and in an attempt to stop it the troll reached up to block the light but only managed to turn his hand to stone. The other troll shrieked in terror.

"The dawn will take you all!" Cried someone from atop the bolder with a booming voice. A second later he slammed his staff down and the bolder cracked in two, letting the sunlight pour through. All the trolls turned quickly to stone and the dwarves set quickly to setting themselves free. You slid back down the bolder and pocketed your mirror. For some reason, you didn't immediately leave.

"I think we owe someone our thanks." Said a older white haired dwarf as he walked up to you. Gandalf followed him.

"Y/n, fancy running into you here, though I can't say I'm upset." The old wizard smiled at you. You smiled back at him.

"Good to see you too, Gandalf." You turned and offered a bow to the old dwarf and "the name's Y/n, at your service."

The old dwarf smiled, he seemed very pleased with your politeness, and bowed back, "Balin, at yours."

"Is this the company you mentioned Gandalf?" You asked turning back to your old friend.

"What do you know of this company?" Came a rumbling deep voice from your left. You hadn't realized that someone else had joined you. His arms were crossed and judging by the slight crease in his brows he was not very happy.

"Ah- well," you cleared your throat and looked to Gandalf for help but he offered none. "You must be Thorin," you bowed the same as you did for Balin. "I know of your journey, Gandalf told me." Yes, blame the old wizard, that's fine.

Thorin turned to Gandalf with a glare, silently demanding an explanation from him. Gandalf cleared his throat and shifted his weight on his feet slightly, "I first asked Y/n to be our burglar, however she refused me."

"I had family business to attend to at the time." You said and Thorin turned his glare onto you, you stiffened slightly and suddenly wished you didn't say anything at all.

"What are you doing here now?" Thorin asked.

"Well... I was looking for you guys. I figured if I followed your road I'd come across you eventually."

"Why?" Thorin was not looking very pleased. You felt small under his stare and began to fiddle with your hands.

"I was hoping that, well, you may have room for another walker in your company?" Your expression changed into something unsure as you shrugged your shoulders. All Thorin did was stare and you glanced at Gandalf for help.

"She can be of use Thorin, she's very quiet this one, great for sneaking around." Gandalf nodded his staff towards you.

"She also did just save our skins." Added Balin and you were very grateful he had not walked off.

Thorin thought for a moment, but it felt like en eternity. He eyed you up and down before turning away and beginning to walk off. "Fine. But don't slow us down. If you do you'll get left behind."

You've been traveling with the company since then. So far you've made very good friends with everyone but particularly Fili, Kili, Balin and Bilbo. Over time you've also begun to greatly admire the leader of this company, Thorin.

You couldn't deny that you thought he was attractive, you had thought that from the moment you met him. But it was more than just looks you liked about him, you admired how much he cared for his people, his sense of duty to bring them back to their home in Erebor. He carries such a huge burden all on his own and is able to do it with grace and dignity, you understood a little of what that meant, though on a much smaller scale. He was brave and even though he was a king he was always first to throw himself into a fight to protect those around him. And even though he seemed cold on the surface it's very obvious that he cares for all his companions and would do whatever it took to make sure they were safe.

"Watcha lookin' at?" You jumped, Kili had his face right next to yours leaning over your shoulder. He laughed and sat on the rock next to you with his back facing the fire, you smack his arm.

"How long were you there?" You grumbled.

"Oh I don't know, long enough to notice you staring dreamily off at my uncle." He clasped his hands together out in front of him and bat his eyelashes at you in a teasing manner before bursting out laughing like someone told the most hysterical joke known to man.

"I was not! I was just thinking and I zoned out..."

"Sure, sure, whatever you say." Kili said once he stopped laughing. "You know you're so obvious right? Everyone sees it."

"Sees what?" You asked with a raised eyebrow and Kili rolled his eyes.

"That you're in love with him!" Kili hit you on the shoulder. "I think it's a good thing personally, Thorin needs someone like you. Someone fun who can lighten his mood, he's always so stoic these days, believe it or not he used to be fun."

"I'm not in love with him." You said and put your chin in your hands, your mood had soured and Kili didn't understand why. "I'm due to be married."

Oh. Oh. Thorin stopped listening.

He had realized you're staring a while ago. He thought, or maybe hoped, that you where staring at him, but it seems you really where just zoned out and didn't realize you where looking in his direction. He started paying attention more when Kili wandered over and tuned in when the two of you started talking. But now he didn't want to listen, you were probably going to go on talking about whoever it is that you're going to be married to and he didn't want to hear it.

"You ok there laddie?" Balin asked appear at his side.

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?" And it came out a little more snappy than he would've liked.

"No particular reason, just looked like you were staring off into space. But by your tone it sounds like something is on your mind?" Thorin thought for a moment before deciding he shook his head.

"I'm going for a walk." Was what he settled on and he got up and left.

"You what?!" Kili said in shock. "What do you mean?"

"I mean exactly what I said. Once I go back home I am to be wed."

"You don't sound very happy about it..."

"I'm not." You said. "I don't want to marry him."

"Then why are you?" Kili sounded almost mad. You furrowed your eyebrows at him.

"Because I have to Kili. I'm the oldest in my family and with our dad dead I have to be the one to bring in money somehow. There aren't many jobs for women where I am and this guy has enough money to keep my family off the streets and well fed. The reason I decided to seek out this company and join the adventure is because this is the last one I'll be able to go on..." Kili was silent.

Suddenly he shot up on his feet and rounded the rock to stand in front of you. "Thorin is a king. We are going to reclaim our home that is filled with mountains of gold. Tell Thorin you love him and then you can be happy and save your family! It's as simple as that!"

"Thorin is a king. It's not as simple as that."

Kili was making that face he does when he's confused and upset. Eyebrows creased together, pouting, and over all looking like a sad puppy dog. "Get up," he said and tugged roughly on your arm to pull you to your feet.

"What are you doing?!" You half shouted at him as you tried to pry yourself free. "Let me go you lunatic!"

"I'm looking for my uncle." He said and you froze for a second before beginning to fight him again. "He deserves to be happy and so do you, all it takes is for you to admit your feelings to him."

"How do you know that's all it takes?" You snapped and stopped struggling for a moment. "How do you know he thinks of me in the same way I think of him?"

You were every serious, Kili however was not and was looking at you like you had just said the stupidest thing he had ever heard. He sighed exasperatedly, your face crumpled in confusion. "Where is he? Do you see, Thorin?"

You took a look around the fire, "um, no, I don't."

Thorin was walking through the woods, he could still see the campfire and hear the voices of everyone so he wasn't far if anything went wrong, but he was far enough that he couldn't properly see any of the individual figures. You had a fiancé? You were going to be married. Thorin didn't know how to describe how he was feeling in this moment. Upset? Mad? Disappointed? Perhaps blindsided was the word, but how could just being blindsided by this information be enough to make him feel this bad. Why did he even care so much?

Well actually he knew why he cared so much. It probably had something to do with that intense warmth that spread throughout him whenever he looked at you. That tightening in his chest whenever you smiled, even if it wasn't at him.

He had noticed a while back the way he was beginning to think of you, but he shoved it down. Hid it away in fear that it would start to interfere with this quest. He needed to make a conscious effort to treat you the same as everyone else. But he still always caught himself wondering if you were tired and needed to rest, if you were warm at night, if you had enough to eat or drink. After a battle or after running away from orcs he always made it a point to check on you personally and he couldn't relax until he did so.

When you first met he thought you were attractive. Just a passing acknowledgement that, for a human, you were nice to look at. But over time, after seeing the way you would blend with the others in conversation, how even though you were the best fighter you still valued the others safety and were willing to put yourself at risk, how much Fili and Kili liked you. You were so kind and unassuming and you always offered to help.

One thing that stood out to Thorin, and that he especially admired about you, was that you stood up to him. It might sound weird, but he liked that you questioned him, and when you thought he was wrong you pointed it out. It didn't happen often, but when you did say he was wrong about something you were usually right. You argued with him when no one else did and somehow he thought that was very attractive of you.

He let out a long sigh and rubbed his temples, all of this thinking was useless. And also making him feel worse, like the hole in his chest was growing. The laughing from around the fire tuned him fully back into his surroundings and with one last look around (so he could at least say he was checking the parameter) he started to head back to camp. As he exited the trees and came back into the little clearing he heard the sound of his nephew.

"Aha! There he is!" Looking to his left Thorin saw Kili and he was pulling you with him. Well, not so much pulling as he was dragging, you were tripping over your own feet with every step and looked about ready to fall.

Kili then yanked you forward, practically throwing you into Thorin with a grin on his face that Thorin just knew meant that Kili knew something he didn't. Thorin reached out and caught you before you could face plant. "Kili, what's going on?" You scoffed as you stood up straighter and brushed yourself off, you had a very sour look on your face that just made Thorin more confused and slightly concerned.

"Y/n has something to talk to you about." He said and winked before running off to go whisper about something with his brother. There was a long stretch of silence and it was very quickly becoming awkward.

Thorin cleared his throat, "there's something you wanted to talk to me about?"

You jumped slightly, Thorin was standing there, hands clasped behind his back and face as un-telling as ever. You chuckled, "oh, uh, it's nothing really. Not that important or anything, you know Kili this is just one of his- uh- things..."

Thorin just grunted in response and turned away. You probably could've used this opportunity to run away but for some reason you didn't. There was another long silence, the two of you just standing next to each other and looking at the rest of the company sitting around the fire. At some point you saw Gandalf look over at you two and when he looked away you could've sworn there was a knowing smile on his face.

"I hear you're getting married once you return home after the journey." Thorin said suddenly.

"What?" You said whirling to face him, "how do you know about that?"

"I over heard you and Kili talking about it." He answered simply and without looking at you. You creased your brows before turning back to look at the company and the fire. Thorin glanced at you, "whoever he is, he's a lucky man."

"And I an unlucky woman." You said with a huff. "I don't want to marry him."

"Oh? Why not?" Thorin asked and turned to you.

"Why? Well for one he is the most arrogant self righteous man I have ever met. He thinks he's the gods gift to man and that everyone he interacts with owes him something. The only reason I even agreed to this arrangement with him is because if I don't my family will lose everything. I much rather marry-- someone else."

After your rant Thorin was feeling significantly lighter. He caught your stutter at the end and the side of his mouth corked up. "Y/n, what was it Kili wanted you to tell me?"

You turned to look at him, eyes wide, but were comforted by the smile on his face. "Well," you said looking up and away to avoid eye contact and clasping your hands in front of you. "Kili wants me to tell you that I'm in love with you. And I am, in love with you I mean."

Thorin chuckled and you peaked back at him, he had a soft smile on his face. "Maybe you're not as unlucky as you thought armâlimê.”

You opened your mouth like you were going to say something, but then what he said seemed to register. You paused and then looked over at him, “what did you just call me?”

He smiled at you softly and took your hand and looked down at it as he spoke, “we can figure out what to do about your family’s situation after the quest, I trust it won’t be to hard to find a solution then.”

Silently your hand tightened around his, touched by what he had said. “And just for the record,” he added looking up into your eyes, “I love you too.”

From a little ways away, over by the fire, you could hear whispered cheers and groans, and the clink of coins being exchanged. You looked over and Kili grinned back, shooting you a thumbs up and you couldn’t help but laugh feelings as light as air and happier than you ever have before.

[marimayscarlett]

Current fugure Richard.. I don't want to call him chubby because he's not, he just lost muscle mass and got rounder midsection.. anyway, he has absolutely no idea how hot his current body is.

Sure, he was absolutely stunning when he was ripped, but this so called dad bod.. unreal! Unreal!! It's such a fucking turn on when men, especially his age, look like that. Can you imagine sitting and bouncing on top of that? Jfc!!!

He is fit as fuck and everyone else is wrong! YOU HEAR ME KRUSPE? FIT AS FUCK!!!

Hi 😌

I really swear, even if it seems like it, I did not ghostwrite this post.... It would be futile to try to describe how much Richard is my type in his current state - I can hardly put into words how incredibly attractive his slightly more chunky physique is to me, and apparently some other people, too 👀 And he has offered us so many impecable looks in the past few years!

Such a transformation from a boyfriend material/90's dream boy:

to a well-trained dream of a silver god guitarist:

to a freaking vampire (I'm fine, I'm fine, it's not like this era is a fantasy come true to me, nope):

to an absolute picture book rockstar who is not afraid to flaunt his...all, actually:

to his current look, a little more on the ribs, wonderful voluptuous curves and yet incredibly masculine. While others may not relate to this sentiment, for me this is an absolute dream. I can't even describe it, he just looks so... kneadable, cuddly, yet so manly? Man, I don't even know:

He may not be as ripped anymore, and this is a good thing. Richard is pushing 60, it's only natural that his physique is undergoing changes. And yet he looks so incredibly attractive! I think there's also a lot of self-confidence involved and how he carries himself, to have this mesmerizing effect on us 😌 Regarding the 'fit' part: I think it's safe to say that Richard is still keeping fit with sport, yoga and similar activities, since for example going to the gym or running seems to be a vital part of his daily routine - at least he mentioned it in some interviews a few years ago (for example here and here).

Here I've answered another ask a while ago with a little closer look at Richard's 'evolution':

So in conclusion, me looking at Richard at all times, but especially in this current era:

[talbaquix]

A layman's guide to olympic fencing—

for writers, artists, olympic fans, or the otherwise curious.

disclaimer: i say layman for a reason! i'm not at all a professional, or even good, but i have been fencing (very) recreationally at an amateur level for ~7 years. also, my exposure to sabre is extremely limited, and i am speaking from an american POV, so please feel free to correct me on any points you see necessary. :)

long post incoming...

So, what is "Olympic fencing?"

First and foremost, it is a sport. Not a fight, not a duel—a sport. One of five that have been permanent fixtures since the very first modern Olympic games, actually—hence the name! While other similar sword-wielding activities (such as historical European martial arts (HEMA), kendo, or wushu for example) may occasionally be referred to as "fencing," most people (me included) define fencing as this specific sport, and use other classifiers to categorize the rest.

Originally, fencing began as a form of military training in Germany and Italy, before spreading recreationally across more areas in Europe. Currently, the fencing scene is almost uncontestedly dominated by Italy, France, and Hungary, though both China/HK and the US have had some pretty stellar wins more recently.

In addition, French has a pretty large influence on fencing terminology and language, at least in the West. Be prepared!

The Basics

Three Weapons

Fencing is divided into three disciplines, each with their own equipment, strategies, and ruleset. They are as follows:

Épée: The classic. The heaviest and most defensive of the three blades, épée's simple ruleset allows for more elaborate strategy and really lives up to fencing's moniker of "physical chess." In épée, the entirety of your opponents body (including face, toes, etc!) counts as valid target area and all hits must be scored with the tip of the blade. In case of a double-touch (relatively simultaneous hits from both opponents), both opponents score points.

Because there's no need for specific target areas, épéeists enjoy minimal equipment, forgoing lamés (electric jackets, pronounced luh-may) and mask cords in exchange for a larger bell guard to protect the hand (that big bit of metal at the end of the blade). Épéeists can use pistol grips for more point control (molded to fit a hand), or a french grip to get a little bit of extra distance (red stick grip).

Épée bouts are stereotypically known for being slow and boring, since the absence of right-of-way (explained later) allows more freedom in trying to sus out opponent reactions and strategize, and the whole-body target + double-touch system means there's more benefit to fencing slowly in comparison to sabre or foil. It's not uncommon for épée bouts to begin with both fencers being carded for passivity! There's a lot of bouncing back and forth in the middle.

Saber (Sabre): Fast, slashing, and aggressive. The fencing you see in movies? Sabre. It's the only cutting weapon, where the entire length of the blade is able to register contact with the opponent. In sabre, the target area is the upper half of the body (including the face, but excluding the hand) and their lamés reflect that. Sabre also employs what is known as right-of-way/priority/advantage (from here on abbreviated as RoW) which, in the case of a double-touch, essentially gives RoW—and therefore the point—to the "aggressing" fencer at the referee's discretion. RoW is pretty complicated, but is very influential in how both sabre and foil play out.

In their ready (en garde) position, sabreists also hold their blade vertically to protect the face (as opposed to foil and épée, where the blade is held horizontally to keep the point towards the opponent). Sabreists also need special masks to register hits, as well as a mask cord to connect it to the rest of the electric circuit. Sabre bell guards are kinda swoopy and extend downward (think pirates) and are always "french grips" (aka just a stick).

Sabreists are generally known for being (respectfully) batshit insane and dramatic as hell. Bouts are extremely fast (rarely more than a few seconds) and look simple, and rely much more on pure athleticism and fast reaction times than épée. Most bouts consist of the two fencers running towards each other, maybe a parry or two, then both fencers scoring hits with a fair bit of screaming and angrily pointing at the ref. Oh wait, did I say running? Sorry, I meant advancing, since sabre is also the only discipline where crossing-over with your legs got banned because people just started sprinting towards the middle instead of actually fencing. Love them for that.

Foil (Fleuret, rarely): Oh, foil. The artistic middleman. Originating as a practice weapon, foil tends to sit in the middle of épée's careful point-control and elaborate strategy and sabre's split-second reactions and fuck-it-we-ball energy. Yet somehow, it ends up being more nit-picky and complicated than both. It has the smallest target area of the three, only covering the torso, as well as the lightest blade. Touches are only registered from the tip.

RoW's influence is noticeably large, since, compared to sabre, the longer bout times actually allow for opportunity for RoW to be traded between you and your opponent. Foil can almost be thought of as turn-based combat. Fencer A initiates the attack first, now has RoW, lunges and misses, which gives RoW to Fencer B. Fencer B attacks, gets parried (back to Fencer A), A extends, B counterattacks, A gets the point.

Foil stereotypes aren't as strong as épée or sabre stereotypes, but foilists are generally known for either being super pedantic and arguing w/ the ref about RoW or whipping their blade around constantly & being flowery (hence, "fleuret"). Because of how bendy the foil is, foilists can also do cool stuff like flicks (snapping your wrist so that the blade bends around, oftentimes to hit your opponents back) and can also get into pretty funny in-fighting situations a bit more often than sabre/épée (since corps-a-corps contact isn't allowed in fencing, and stepping back means you lose RoW, there's a lot of awkward up-close poking).

Some Positions

En garde: the basic fencing position. In essence, a squat, with one foot facing forward and the other turned out, roughly one and a half foot-lengths apart. This is the basis from which all other movements—the lunge, the advance, the retreat—should be executed, and the position fencers return to once an action is completed.

Lunge: the quintessential fencing attack. From en garde, extend your dominant arm, kick out your front foot, land forward, and extend your back arm for balance. To recover, bend your back leg and return to en garde.

Parry: the most basic piece of defensive bladework that every fencer learns, with the "beat" serving as its offensive counterpart. Consists of hitting your opponents blade to prevent a touch. There are nine different parries in classical fencing, but the most common (in foil/épée) are the four and six, which defend the inside and outside lines respectively.

Ettiquette & Other Fun Facts

All fencers must salute their opponent, referee, and audience (if there is one) before and after the bout. Usually just consists of "nodding" at the salutee with your blade before the mask is donned. At the end of bouts, a handshake with your opponent using your non-dominant hand is also expected. Many people substitute/add on to the handshake by tapping blades instead.

Unlike in tennis, seeing a fencer hold up a one on their hand after a touch is an acknowledgement of the opponent's point, whereas a closed fist is a claim of theirs.

When fencing without a ref, many people will slap their thigh to indicate the start of a bout.

Fencers may not speak while the mask is on.

Fencing clubs are also sometimes called salles.

While electrical equipment can vary between disciplines, all fencers are required to wear knickers, a plastron (under-arm protector), a body cord, a jacket, a glove, and a mask. For women, a plastic chest protector is also required. In sabre and foil, fencers also wear a mask cord and lamé.

The first safety rule most fencers learn is to never raise your blade towards someone without a mask on, and it's taken pretty seriously. Because the back of a mask is exposed, its also a big big no-no to turn your back to your opponent during a bout or otherwise lower your head.

Common Terminology

En garde, prez, allez! - On guard, ready, fence! Used to signal the start of a bout.

Halt! - Said by referees to. halt the bout.

Strip/piste - The surface on which fencers fence. Usually around 2m wide and 14m long, the lines on the piste also dictate where fencers must move to to begin bouts, and where they're considered out-of-bounds. Sometimes, they're on raised platforms. Yes, people have fallen off, yes, it's extremely funny.

Feint - Probably what you think it is.

Disengage - Moving your blade in a little circle to avoid contact with what is usually an incoming parry/beat. On a very basic level, straight attacks beat disengages, disengages beat parries, and parries beat straight attacks.

Fleche - An explosive running attack. Due to not being able to cross-over, sabreists use "flunges" instead, a mix between a fleche and a lunge that essentially entails flinging yourself at your opponent in a flying lunge.

Balestra - hop :)

Riposte - An immediate attack done after a defender's parry. Usually heard as "parry-riposte."

Tempo - A kind of nebulous concept, but very similar to the musical definition of the word. The pace of a bout, sorta. Often used when someone is advised to break tempo or if one fencer is controlling the tempo of a bout.

FAQ

Why are the blades bendy? To keep us from dying, mainly. What, you want the metal pole people can throw at each other at the same speed as a bullet (literally) to be solid? Also, blades break a lot already, especially in the hands of the inexperienced—they'd snap a hell of a lot more if they weren't flexible. Ouch.

Does it hurt? About as much as getting poked really hard with a steel stick would. Leaves bruises often, but cuts very rarely. You get used to it. The real kicker is staying in en garde for that long. Trust me, your quads will be screaming.

Is it- No, it's not dangerous. If you follow the rules, fencing is actually extremely safe, especially compared to contact sports.

Does a red light mean no touch? No. One fencer is assigned a red light that lights up whenever a touch is made, and the other is given green. In sabre and foil, yellow (sometimes white) means whatever the fencer hit was off-target, and should not be counted as a point. Épée doesn't have an off-target light, since épéeists don't wear lamés.

How do the masks know when a point is scored? Often asked upon seeing the little lights on the side of masks light up upon touches. Unless you're "dry fencing" (no electricity), you're typically hooked up to a circuit. If you fence épée or foil, there's a little button on the end of your blade that registers when pressure is added onto it. When a hit is scored, the signal goes through the wire in your blade, up your body cord, and eventually to "the box" (and your mask if you're fancy), and the corresponding light is flashed.

Why hold your hand behind your back? Most people don't! Some beginners do it to prevent themselves from reflexively moving their non-gloved hand in front of them when being attacked (which is against the rules), but most fencers either keep their hand relaxed at their side, raised in a t-rex pose, or occasionally above the head.

Helmet? Mask.

Sword? If you want.

Touché? Often "touche," actually. No accent.

Paralympics? On (stationary) wheelchairs. Extremely cool, actually, and very hard. Check it out!

Expensive? To get all your own stuff? Yes. But most clubs will rent you equipment, or sometimes lend it for free! But yes, more expensive than, like, soccer. :(.

Is it fun? Absolutely. To quote some random internet user, "it's like chess, at 90 miles an hour, oh and there's swords!" I would 100% recommend it to everyone, especially if you're on the older side (fencing isn't super age-restricted at all—seeing a 12 y/o and a 70 y/o facing off on a club piste isn't uncommon!) It is exhausting, exhilarating, and super, super fun. Give it a shot!

.

Please feel free to send any and all questions, corrections, or musings my way. Thanks for reading—I hope this was interesting and/or useful!

[crescencestudio]

๋࣭⭑ Devlog 36 | 11.26.23 ๋࣭⭑

:rises from the dead: I'm.... BAAAAACK!!!!!!

Long time, no talk (kinda) everyone! I hope you've been happy, healthy, and well since we last saw each other and that the wind-down for the year is being kind to you all <3

We have a lot to catch up on, so let's do just that ^^ This is.... so long. I'm really sorry in advance tbh---I thought I hadn't done much because break, but there's quite a bit to show.

It's been a while since a formal update on the routes, so I'll start by telling you all where they officially stand. Before I do, it might be helpful to tell you all how I define percentage completion in my head. Basically, when I finish the draft of a route, I consider it 70% complete. This means I could ship it as is. I wouldn't be happy with the product, but it's playable and makes enough sense---just not the best quality.

When Wudgey finishes their edits, a route is 80%-85% complete, meaning I could ship it as is. I think it'd be pretty good actually and players would be happy. Beyond this point, I am just making fine tuning edits to incorporate more player interaction, polishing the flow of things, etc.

After that, there's basically only Elm and Vi's edits left. When Elm finishes, a route is 95% complete. Again, I think at this point, it's good. Like edits from this point onwards are purely for polishing purpose. After Vi, it's 98% complete. Then the last review comes back to Elm and I for it to be 100% complete. Right now, this is where the routes stand:

Kayn: 98% Complete

Fenir: 95% Complete

Druk: 80% Complete

Etza: 60% Complete (Still working on their draft!)

Do Not ask me about Kuna'a or Aisa LFMASOEIDJ

So most of the routes are actually looking pretty good! They're just getting bounced around to different editors at this point, but the changes made for most of them are basically small. Fenir and Kayn especially could be shipped as is in my eyes if I really wanted to.

Art recently has mostly been focused on commissions. Vui actually is almost done with ALL of the BGs for Alaris!! Isn't that crazy?? In about a year, he was able to create almost 25 BGs with daytime variations!!! He's a phenomenal artist, and I couldn't be happier to be working with him. It's also a bit bittersweet (and alarming??) to know that part of development is already close to ending! q.q

The most exciting art update I have is that we got the GUI assets finished and I've started coding them into the game!! AAAA!! These were the final updated assets I needed, and seeing the fully revamped demo come to life has been so.... Emotional HAHA! It's crazy to see how far Alaris has come from when I was first making it with my little fingies and throwing things together like paper mache. I'm incredibly in love with how all the assets look together, and I couldn't be more grateful for the artists who helped me update the assets!

Updated History Log. Please say you like the dividers between entries---I'm most proud of those

I'm still making my way through coding everything, but here's a couple screen previews so you all can see how things now look in the game!!

First off, is the Dialogue/Choice Screen. You can see that we have a brand new dialogue box (She's Stunning) and Choice Screen! I'm hoping to add some sfx for the choices when you hover over them, and sfx for the new UI in general so there's more user feedback when you click and hover on things. But for now, enjoy this preview of the new dialogue box, choice screen, and the new personality indicators!

Updated Dialogue/Choice Screen: You can't see it as well in GIF format, but the BG also has particles floating around, so there's a tiny bit of animation going on in some of the BGs as well!!

Next, we have the Free Time Screen. I actually posted this on Twitter recently but I don't think I posted it on Tumblr! ISN'T SHE STUNNING... ESPECIALLY WITH THE NEW BGS.... I'm especially happy with the text animations that show up at the bottom when you hover over the different choices! I was inspired by a couple other devs (specifically GUI god, @siyo-koy, and renpy animation master @just-a-carrot) to start incorporating animation style elements into my GUI. And I really like how it adds a little ~something~ to the feel of everything ^^

Updated Free Time Screen: begging someone to say they like the text animation so I feel validated for finangling with it

Finally, for our last preview, we have the Save Screen! While it looks new obviously with the new assets, I also did a lot of backend coding revamping for how it actually functions since my coding experience is a bit better now compared to when I was first fighting for my life figuring out save/load screens. The biggest change for you all is that there are now chapter markers so save slots will tell you what chapter that save file is from! And instead of screenshots, it's now a custom icon inside that shows the chapter card. I think it'll make the save screen look more cohesive now and hopefully more intuitive as well!!

Updated Save Screen: With a sprinkle of updated Chapter Card screen preview

That was long. Are any of us surprised, considering I had two months' worth of devlogs piled inside of me, begging to burst from the seams?

Anyways. Only two miscellaneous updates. One is that all soundtracks have been completed for Alaris! Peter finished the last of them recently, and they're all beautiful!!! For ppl who love piano soundtracks... :holds hand in piano lover solidarity:

Other update is that I finally fixed that godforsaken sprite bug that was associated with the energy vision feature from the demo!!! FINALLY!!! AFTER.... SO LONG. Extremely huge thanks to @robobarbie for taking time out of their day to do that; everyone please say thank you!!!!! OGs know how long that bug was bothering me!!!! Robo also gave me a pretty new rain code, so I'm showing you how both look in the new demo so you can appreciate them with me!!

Last miscellaneous update is more on a.... logistical development level?? Basically, now that I have new GUI assets to code, that means I can get a beta build of the routes currently written out. I was feeling really overwhelmed by that idea because most of this year has been focused on writing and making assets, not really coding. Knowing that I can Code and get Playable Builds out to people was stressful because I have to divvy up my time a bit more.

After an extremely insightful talk with beloved and admired Esh of @steamberrystudio I decided I'm probably going to be shifting how development goes from here on out. Instead of focusing head low on getting as many words written for the remaining routes everyday, I'm going to be making smaller but consistent progress and spend the rest of my time coding so that I can have more of a continuous cycle of production going on (e.g., writing a bit, making playable builds, gathering playtester feedback, etc. instead of doing each stage in blocked, sequential order).

I'm mainly telling you all this because it means writing updates will probably seem slower from this point on, but I think production overall will be more efficient because of it! This is also exciting news for playtesters and/or early access backers/patrons because it means you'll have playable content in the near future for content outside of just the demo :')

have u all heard of wudgeous of herotome. of course u have. they r all i talk about at this point

No market research because I've actually been addicted to BG3 LFMAOLSDJF. Actually, I'm taking some inspiration from it for the personality mechanic but eh.

On a more important note, @herotome demo is coming out December 2nd!!!! PLAY IT WITH ME. Wudgey is my editor, so you might think I'm biased but I'M NOT!!! I WAS A FAN OF HEROTOME BEFORE WUDGEY EVEN WORKED W ME!!! They have an exception eye for detail and player experience, and they are actually one of the devs that inspired me to even get into game development.

I just know the demo is going to blow everyone's socks off. OG Herotome prologue build fans know exactly what I'm talking about. Please mark December 2nd on your calendar---you will not regret it.

This was so unbelievably long, but I hope it's appreciated since there was no real devlog update for a hot minute. As always, Thank you all for your patience and continued support. With the year ending soon, I'm getting wrapped up in my feels in usual Crescence fashion. I am a Cancer so no one is surprised.

Next month will probably be more of an end-of-year devlog rather than the usual format. I know the devlogs of late have been all over the place, but once we get into the new year, it will be back to business as usual! Hope you all have a wonderful end to your year; I'll talk to you soon! <3

[anulithots]

Ooh...So excited when I know that you are now a fan of Link Click, too.... Can I ask something from Link Click? What do you think are Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic? Sorry if you've answered these questions before.....

P.s

Also, can I ask your top fav characters and fav moments from the series (Link Click), if you don't mind me asking (again)....? Thanks so much....

KLDKJfdskj THANK YOU FOR THE ASK! I had answered it, wanted to save it for further thoughts... then tumblr wiped the post.

THENNN THIS SAT IN MY DRAFTS FOR WAY TOO LONG

I cry. Sorry this took so long!

BUT I Did handwrite some stuff down, so here we go!

(Just a note that while I proabably will analyze link click - how could I not - I won't try to do as much analysis as I did with Jujutsu Kaisen... because... well I did too much. Maybe burnt myself out? I hyper analyzed that to the point where it became another school subject... and LInk Click actually SHOWS backstory, so I don't' have to connect as many dots. )

CHeng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang's strengths and weaknesses.

Cheng Xiaoshi: he's empathetic, but so much so that it turns into impulsive decisions. Other than that, when he does have space and time to process his emotions, he's INCREDIBLY good at strategizing based on the factors of the environment + the emotions of those involved (Lu Guang will follow rules without being as adaptive)

Overall, I'd describe the Cheng Xiaoshi emotion pipeline to be this:

gets overwhelmed with strong emotions, especially when possessing someone or in a high stakes situation. In this state, he'll do reckless, impulsive decisions, oftentimes for the good of others... but he usually regrets it later

CXS has more time to sit with and process his emotions. He usually withdraws from the world at this time. (Post episode five, or after diving into the photo on his own, when he thought Lu Guang was dead)

He does his whole 'I have a plan thing' and it's ridiculously smart. He just needs time (and lots of it) to process his emotions.

Cheng Xiaoshi is also almost.. too trusting. He trusts others, empathizes with them, so easily feels and assimilates himself with others that he'll... probably get taken advantage of. (See season two)

He also clings to the people he has. This is neither a strength nor a weakness... it's both, it's a trait, and it will become either beneficial or a detriment depending on the situation, as is the case with a lot of character traits. The plot tests the flaws and benefits of a character. (Sorry small tangent)

CXS tries to prevent the same pain of loss from befalling anyone else/ people he possesses. He fears being alone (probably also feeds into his 'too trusting' + relies on Lu Guang thing. Neither are inherently flaws) and perhaps part of the reason he is so impulsive is because his parents left him so suddenly. He gets so stressed because he has to help them/save them, and he must do so immediately, before they leave him forever.

(See I'm analyzing but I'm having trouble with fitting CXS into the overall themes... hmmm.. I'll figure it out.)

EDIT: I HAVE THOUGHTS, I THINK I FIGURED IT OUT... MAYBE I SHALL LET THE THOUGHTS MARINATE MORE!!

Lu Guang:

I'm not sure if he restrains his emotions, has subdued ones, or if whenever he's around CXS he can act more 'low energy' because CXS is... a lot. /aff

(See Lu Guang sitting on the couch differences from when CXS is there versus when CXS is in a dive

Versus when he's alone:

*feet on the table*

*bouncing his foot*)

He acts like he's the level headed one, but he's far from it. Even in season one, especially in episode five (when he took a risk and it ended up backfiring on CXS) he can and will freak out the moment something doesn't go according to plan. And who often doesn't go according to plan?

Cheng Xiaoshi.

Lu Guang does his very best to... prevent against this. He means well. Pretty much every moment he's on screen is him trying to protect CXS.

He does keep secrets, but overall, I think he isss pretty open about what he thinks and feels (except for when it comes to CXS to his face... he'll gladly talk about it to Qiao Ling). In... I think it was episode six, he openly told Cheng Xiaoshi his reasoning for going back in time to deliver the messages in episode four... to alleviate the client (and prove to himself that it is possible) of regret.

As far as the 'strengths and weaknesses' go, for all the issues and benefits that happen because of him, it's really caused by his personality, his traits, that will be either useful or detrimental depending on the situation. LInk Click is wonderous at using the plot to fully explore the nuances of the characters, so none of their traits are 'black and white'. Very 'trolley problem esque' and up to the viewer to decide. *buzzes and explodes* /pos

In essence: Both CXS and Lu Guang are emotional idiots in their own ways (CXS's just louder about it /pos /aff) and QIao LIng is actually the only levelheaded one here.

... I need some more time and rewatches before I can fully analyze them well so that's that for now!

What I love about their dynamic

They both trust each other, and will break all of time and space (or not break all of time and space) for the sake of the other.

MOST OF ALL HOW'LL THEY'LL BREAK THEIR USUAL CHARACTER IF IT MEANS PROTECTING THE OTHER.

Like Lu Guang, for all the times he says that CXS cannot change the past, that he shouldn't interfere, caves if it means giving Cheng Xiaoshi solace. (Episode five when tried to help Cheng Xiaoshi save his mom, and in season two when he let Cheng Xiaoshi dive to allow police assistant guy - I forget his name - to give a flower ring to his wife)

For Cheng Xiaoshi, he'll resist his impulses and emotions, even if it causes him immense pain, to comply with what Lu Guang would've wanted. Epppiisooddee fivvee is a good example of this. (And of course... I think it was episode two of season two where Cheng Xiaoshi decided not to go back in time for the sake of Lu Guang's wishes). Cheng Xiaoshi 'gave up' on trying to save everyone in the town because of Lu Guang's urging, and even throughout all the dives he does, as early as episode one, he trusts Lu Guang.

Also, in a less dramatic sense, ... alll the little things they constantly do for eachhh other aklsjfkaslfklasjd fSCREAMSSS

Lu Guang checking on Cheng Xiaoshi during his nightmares, comforting CHeng Xiaoshi after the trauma that was episode five, the both of them constantly teasing each other, how comfortable they are in each other's presence. IT'S SO QUEER PLATONIC CODED I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

Fav characters and moments.

(in the prev version of this ask I started listing out EVERY SINGE scene in season one and started going to season two... I love them all. I love them all so much I'm going to rewatch it again.)

But as of now I'll list them out and include some of my screenshot collection (it is growing heheheh)

In episode one where Lu Guang slurps his noodles to tease CXS after he couldn't eat his spring rolls

The moment in episode two where Lu Guang proclaims that the mission is hopeless and CHeng Xiaoshi says 'Just because you don't see hope doesn't mean there is none'

AND LU GUANG SMILESSSSS:

Also Lu Guang smiling when CHeng Xiaoshi says how he wishes Lu Guang could've tasted the noodles too. There's Lu Guang smiling at things Cheng Xiaoshi says, what more does one need in the world?

ANY MOMENT QIAO LING IS ON SCREEN IS IMMEDIATELY PEAK FICTION AND I SHALL PERISH ON THIS HILL

Like in season two where Cheng Xiaoshi is restrained and QIao LIng slaps the lawyer guy in the face (I'm slow with names and need to rewatch season two)

Honestly episode five is a masterclass in good writing. The moment where Cheng Xiaoshi's mom is singing to him, then it cuts to Cheng Xiao's mother dying is just... *sobs*

WHEN QIAO LING CANNONICALLY CALLS CXS HER BROTHER AND IT FLASHBACKS TO HER AND YOUNGER CXS AND lakjfalksfjasklfjaslkfjaslkdfj

Cheng Xiaoshi's backstory in general... it was either in episode ten or eleven... or nine??? I still have to rewatch up to there. Epsically because CXS's backstory was explored in really nuanced and explorative ways before the whole thing was revealed, which makes any rewatches 1000x sadder. It's such good writing holy herbs.

In episode... seven I think it was.... when CXS as Doudou punched the human trafficker and Lu Guang had a surprised pikachu face... peak fiction. How this donghua manages to make me smile and laugh then ugly cry and stare at a wall for the next few hours is beyond me /pos /sooo impreeessive the wriittttnggg.

Lesbian Noodle ladies were amazing. 100/10. Bring them back the trio needs happiness

Lu Guang wanting to go the funeral in season two with an IV and half formal clothes, half hospital gown. He's smart but in the 'I've memorized an entire Library but can't navigate a practical/social thing to save my life' sort of way. Love him for that.

Wang Juan. She has an Ivan (alien stage) haircut and she was great and yes I have another aesthetic crush shhhh

When the trio dressed up as the cartoon characters to reunite Doudou with his dad.

Cheng Xiaoshi arguing and bickering with Xu Shanshan. Then when he dives as her, he immediately makes her look bad and it's hilarious

In the 5.5 extra where Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang play video games against Qiao Ling and both of them lose.

Qiao Ling and CXS both beating up a bunch of people. Peak siblings

CXS and Lu Guang beating up Qian Jin (I looked up the wiki and it has character namess yessssss). Peak queer platonic partners.

Moments like these? IDK I just like the idea of them spending time together without necessarily needing to talk to each other, comfortable in the silence.

SCREENSHOT COLLECTION:

.... I reached my image limit *cries*

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!

(and sorry it took me so long to answer it)

... now I want dumplings

[saturnzskyzz]

The Almighty Gloinks

·˚ ༘ 𖦆 ꒷₊˚ ꒦꒷꒷꒦ ⑅ ʚ ⤜ ⨳ ࣪• ☼ ⋒ ⚡︎ 𐚱 ⊹˚˖⁺ ⤾·˚ ༘ 𖦆 ꒷₊˚ ꒦꒷꒷꒦ ⑅ ʚ ⤜ ⨳ ࣪•

I'm just going to stop predicting that I will go with what I post because I don't think this is going to be a drabble. :)

eh, more for us TADC fans, am I right?

Literally though, I can't hold in the urge to make a fanfic of TADC any longer. I need to make an actual fanfic of this episode or it's gonna drive me insane. 🥲

Also, for those who don't know, the usage of (~) which is called a Tilde- (pronunciation: [Till-D-Aye] - is to drag out a word. I learned that's what it was for, and now I'm taking advantage of that knew bound knowledge. 🤓📋

·˚ ༘ 𖦆 ꒷₊˚ ꒦꒷꒷꒦ ⑅ ʚ ⤜ ⨳ ࣪• ☼ ⋒ ⚡︎ 𐚱 ⊹˚˖⁺ ⤾·˚ ༘ 𖦆 ꒷₊˚ ꒦꒷꒷꒦ ⑅ ʚ ⤜ ⨳ ࣪•

based on this -> drabble I did but way longer, and probably more humorized. (Disclaimer, my humor SUCKS)

Lee: Jax

Ler: Gloinks

Mentions: Pomni, Ragatha, and Zooble

"Uhm~.. Guys? Didn't Caine make sure that those guys wouldn't come back?" Ragatha pointed at the many different shapes and colors bouncing around the stage.

Pomni, Zooble, and Jax, who were also there to see the scene unfold between many different Gloinks, appeared on the stage in clusters.

Jax then clicked his tounge, and smirked at the array of shapes. "Well, that's a shame. You guys have fun though! I'm going to my dor- HEY! Watch out you pesky little-*censor*" He had stopped within his tracks from the shapes that had prevented him to move any further. About five Gloinks were in the way, and their faces twisted and turned upon hearing the digital cast member curse.. Not that their duty was to punish those who curse within the digital circus, but because they abide to the rules of which the ringmaster had set in place.

"I don't think you should have said that Jax.. You know what had happened to Zooble." Pomni warned, realizing that the Gloinks were getting closer and closer.

"Hey, it's not my fault that these things wanted to be in my way- AH! Get off me!" Jax felt all five of them pounce on him at once, making him fumble to the ground with a loud thud.

"Gah! Do you things even know any sort of decency?! Because this is not it!" Jax struggled underneath the chaos that the Gloinks were causing. They were not in any way bigger in size, but they still had a powerful weight to them that they self awarengly grown to know. So Jax was in a bit of trouble to say the most. Not least, MOST.

"Uhm.. Guys? A little help here?! These things have a ton of weight to them and they're starting to feel uncomfortable on top of me." Jax said with a strained voice. He tried to twist and turn to somehow dislodge the determined little beasts, but it became no use fairly quick. He decided to resign his escape and to just lay there in hopes that his friends, or acquaintances to him, will bud in and help the poor dickhead dude.

"Guys, we should help!" Ragatha chimed in. she started to walk towards Jax until she heard Zooble clear their throat. She assumed that Zooble was getting ready to say something, so she collectively turned around.

"Or~! We stand here and watch to see what happens. Caine said he took care of the Gloinks. And I might have over heard him talk to Kinger about setting a rule for "Queen Gloink" or whatever, that they are of no harm." Zooble said. And apparently they were then holding up a clipboard with makeshift glasses on.

The rest looked at Zooble, and then turned around in unison to take a look at Jax who had a concerning look on his face that read, 'you guys really aren't going to leave me here with these guys, are you?' and then one more look back at Zooble who didn't have the glasses and clipboard anymore. What ever happened to them, I wonder??

"HEY! GIVE THAT BACK!!" Zooble yelled at Bubble, Caine's assistant, floating away from the group with Zooble's things.

Bubble didn't say a single word, they just popped out of existence once they flew up too high.

"Well that was something." Ragatha said confused.

"There goes my only happiness and escape from this digital he-" Zooble slowly approached their gaze to the Gloinks who all looked at zooble. "Heli..helo~..helico..ugh! I give up on these stupid Gloinks." Zooble waved them off, looking away from the shapes who were still on top of Jax.

"Air is kinda needed for my body to be able to be alive~ right now!!" Jax said Breathlessly. When will this day end?? Jax will never know.

"I don't know Jax.. You've been awfully rude to us ever since Pomni became apart of the digital world." Zooble said. They stared at Jax, having one of their hands on their hip.

"Zooble, please. This is the one tihime I'm-! Behehegging you?!.. Whahat the hell?!" Jax looked at where the Gloinks were peacefully chilling on Jax only to find out that they have started to grow bored of just standing on him, so they resulted to shaking their blocky bodies in order for Jax to feel a tingly sensation through out his torso and back.

"Uhm~ Why are they shaking, and why are you laughing? I thought you wanted our help, not to make fun of us for just standing here refusing to help?" Pomni said. She knew what was happening, but was wanting to gain the upper hand for once now that Jax has been getting his long awaited karma.

"Ihihi don't knohohow.. Gehehet them ohoff of mehe! They're behehing weird!" Jax responded, banging his fist on the ground from how unbearable the feeling was getting to him so quickly.

"Eh, it's not like they're harming you, you'll be fine!" Zooble then started to walk away from the scene, assuming that their job of being an annoyance to Jax was enough said than done.

"WAIT! Zohohoble please! These things have dohone enouohoOHOHOGH! AAH! OHOHohoho mihihihihy gohohod, staHAHAhap!" Jax all of a sudden felt another Gloink pop into the mess and started to go for his ears. You could say this was a melt spot.. Unfortunately for him.

"HAHA! your reaction was PRICELESS!" Zooble said stopping in their tracks to wipe a fake tear. They were honestly amused by the scene infront of them. They have been waiting for someone or something to stop Jax from being an asshole all the time. They just wished that they could take a picture of this very moment right about-

*click*

﹏﹏﹏

Everyone turned their heads to where that noise came from. And from everyone's shocked expressions, but a very not surprised audience, they all saw Caine with a big polariod camera in front of his face. The picture he had just took came out of the frame slot veeeeeery slowly.

"Aaaaand, we have a winner! Thanks Jax! This is JUST what I needed for today's show! Everyone is going to love the wall I have of all of you!" Caine said while snatching up the photo to wave around.

"Cahahaine, Ihihi wihill huhuhnt yohohou DOWN ihihif you don't geehet rihihid of that phohohoto right NOHOohohow!!" Jax tried to sound intimidating, but he couldn't with the Gloinks still tickling him.

"Hold on.. You have a picture wall of every single ONE OF US?!" Zooble yelled. They were starting to become annoyed.

"What do you mean a~.. Picture wall?" Pomni chimed in finally.

"Don't tell me you have me all glitched in pain too.." Ragatha said worried.

"Now now kiddos, this picture wall isn't all that bad.. There's only going to be about one thousand artificial intelligent people who get to see it with their very own eyes!" Caine announced. He then stuffed the photo in his pocket, looked at the crew, and then fleed out of the circus tent that had them in this predicament.

Everyone was silent.

"GUHUHUuhuhuy's!"

Well.. All except for Jax, of course.

"PLehehease! Ihihihi Wohohon't be a *censor* fohohor the rehest of THEHEHE DAHAY- AAH! STOHOHOP, IHIHI'Mhm sohoHOHORRY!!" Jax fell right into that one, unfortunately for him. The gloinks started to shake faster than before, causing Jax's laughter to go up an octave.

"Ugh! Oh my god, you guys deal with his obnoxious behavior. I'm going to my room." Zooble said, cleary beckming annoyed by Jax's laughter.

"I wouldn't call it obnoxious.. More so, it's new." Ragatha chimed in, walking up to Jax to try and get a gloink off of him, finally.

"Whahahat doho you mehean by nehehew, dohollfacehe?!" Jax managed to say a nickname, earning an annoyed expression on Ragatha's face.

"I mean that, you know.. We've never heard you let loose and laugh." Ragatha said, yanking a gloink off of Jax's back.

Pomni then walked up to Jax and tried to get a gloink off of him herself now.

"Yeah, I never knew that you were ticklish. I know this is my first week here, but it's endearing to know that the most stoic person can also let loose like this." Pomni decided to join in on the conversation, successfully pulling a gloink off of Jax's side. Only three more to go.

"Ahahand ihi wanted ihit to stahahy like thahat!" Jax argued.

"Well, not everything can work out how people wanted these to go. It's all part of life anyway." Ragatha said, trying to pull off a gloink that was attacking one of his ears.

"Wehell, thihihis is a digihital wohohorld, crazy things ahahare bound toho happen."

"The bunny giving life advise while in this predicament. How surprising." pomni added, taking a gloink off of Jax's other side. She then got up to go for the last gloink that was at Jax's other ear while Ragatha was still trying to get the other one.

"Cahan yohohou speed thihis uhuhup? Thehey are sohoho annoying." Jax complained, Lifting his head up the best that he could and covered up his face from slight embarrassment. Not that he needed to do that anyway, he was already facing the ground.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. They are hard to pull off." Ragatha said, finally getting the gloink off of him.

"Ragatha, I need help with this one." Pomni said. The gloink was pretty tough to dislodge, unfortunately.

"Yeah, I got it!" She walked on the other side of where pomni was, and was about to reach for the gloink until it surprisingly jumped away from the grabby hands and onto Jax's neck. Interesting landing choice, but not so surprising that it started to shake again.

"AAHAhaha! Whahahat thehehe-! Gehehet ihihit ohohoff!!" Jax went slightly red at the sudden touch, and started to scrunch up his shoulders.

"Aha, this one is a trickster gloink like you, Jax! How cute." Ragatha said, finally grabbing the last gloink and taking it off of his neck quite easily this time.

Jax turned over finally, and had still covered his face from the longing embarrassment that still crept at his face. He took long and rewarding breathes.

"Welp, our job here is done, so I'm gonna go to my dorm." Ragatha said, leaving Jax and pomni with the aftermath.

"Wehe are to nehever speak of this toho the two most mehentally stable people, ohokay, Pomni?" Jax said, peaking out of his hands to give her an intimidating glare like she was the one who tickled him to death.

"U-uhm..sure, Jax.." Pomni said, getting up to leave Jax there alone until she pumped into Kinger and Gangle.

"W-w-what did w-we miss?" Gangle said with a confused look.

"Why is Jax on the floor and covering his face?" Kinger gave a confusing look on his own.

"A jester never tells what they see!" Pomni said, running away from them two before Jax saw her with them.

"W-w-well that was s-something.." Gangle said, looking up at Kinger who was still looking at Jax.

He slowly avoided his gaze to look down at gangle.

"AAH-"

·˚ ༘ 𖦆 ꒷₊˚ ꒦꒷꒷꒦ ⑅ ʚ ⤜ ⨳ ࣪• ☼ ⋒ ⚡︎ 𐚱 ⊹˚˖⁺ ⤾·˚ ༘ 𖦆 ꒷₊˚ ꒦꒷꒷꒦ ⑅ ʚ ⤜ ⨳ ࣪•

The ending was rushed but, oh well!

[the-s1lly-corner]

JONATHAN AND GN!READER AND THEIR ANTICS !!!!!!!

Antics w/ Jonathan and Reader!

I did a similar post yesterday!! (Linked at the end, hopefully, I'm mobile and sometimes tumblr can be weird)

I'm so so sorry it took my so long to get this request <\\3 I was trying to come up with new ideas so it could be different than the other ask <\3, which I highly recommend checking out! Imma be real I'm not totally confident in how this one turned out so that second post can be like an extra/make up <\3

I wasnt sure if you wanted this to be platonic or have them dating so!! It's mostly written as vague in that department!!

Jonathan doesn't strike me as the person who goes out and does things a lot

Just. Wake up, work, home, sleep, repeat.. he'll sometimes send texts to friends and family to schedule a lunch here and there but

That's about it, hes not very social

So a lot of these antics are really going to be made through you making the plans; with the shenanigans really being unplanned byproducts

Honestly I can totally see Jonathan starting shit with someone, be it accident or on purpose, prompting both of yall having to hightail it out of the area

Reminds me of that part from one of the diary of a wimpy kid movies, where greg n rodrick do that fake puke prank on the guy and have to make a run for it

Actually I can totally see yall subtly being menaces and fucking with people

Maybe not a fake puke prank persay but

Yk?

No crime stuff; I only really see that becoming a thing after he becomes Spot! Both from how he worded his whole "turning to a life of crime" thing and the fact he just

Lacks the experience and confidence

Moving on

Maybe it's just my "let's get silly with the writing" part of me, or it's my need for chaos (arguably the same thing), but

I feel like

Somehow, you guys would accidentally probably maybe kinda sorta

Wreak havoc in ways spot could only dream of (before doing the whole. Bouncing across the multiverse thing)

Yall could probably start the day wanting to go to some food truck and

End it by spending a night in jail

Neither of you are allowed anywhere near food trucks after that /j

No but serious note, Jonathan is basically a hermit, he doesnt like leaving his apartment unless he has to; people are just, so

Eeuuughchk!

So when you two hang out it's either his place or yours

But that's not to say it isnt fun!

Hes got normal stuff people have in their homes, like board games and consoles

And also science doohickies

Yeah people have that in their houses, that's a normal thing

Ngl if you give him any ideas for machines or whatnot hes totally going to give it a try

See previous post with a trans s/o, he would make the transgenderinator if you asked him to

Well now hes just turning into doof

Ykw

I feel like he'd take you to alchemax to show off stuff but like

If you asked nicely

How can he say no to that face?

And also he has no backbone

That's not to say you would pressure him, though! Because that's not cool, dont pressure people. But like, he would cave in the way of "I know it's not that serious and I know they'll probably understand if I say no, but I don't want to ever risk disappointing them ever in my life, so I'm gonna say yes!" Kind of way

He just like me frfr

And this is assuming you even know about alchemax

Which personally, unless you're in some way associated with it, I'm p sure be would have a strong boundary to keep you out of it

This is really just turning into a general ramble <\3

Anyways

I dont have many ideas since I struggle with general hcs like this but!! Yeah!! Definitely recommend the linked post for a better more cohesive (?) List of ideas and hcs!! This post kinda

Made me realize I dont have many hcs for Jonathan outside of making his personality a smart pathetic science man

Gotta fix that , give him some hobbies n stuff in the future

Link to a similar post!

[yasubloodly]

Just Us

Chapter 1: Bentley's Owner

Good Omens x GN Reader

Sypnosis: Moving into a new place will never be easy but making new friends especially with an angel and a demon?

Who knows.

A/N: Decided to post it here too. Uh this is my first time posting here.

(Y/N) - Your Name

(H/C) - Hair Color

(E/C) - Eyes Color 

(Y/F/N) - Your Full Name

(S/C) - Skin Color

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Over the years, Soho evolved and adapted. It became a haven for the creative minds that flocked to its streets. Musicians, writers, and artists found solace and inspiration in its coffeehouses and underground clubs. The melodies of jazz, soul, and rock 'n' roll filled the air, drawing both the curious locals and the adventurous tourists to its lively margins.

Beyond its artistic allure, Soho pulsates with culinary delights. From hidden speakeasies to renowned Michelin-starred restaurants, its diverse array of flavors tantalizes the taste buds. Soho is an epicurean's paradise, inviting food enthusiasts from all walks of life to explore its gastronomic offerings.

The neighborhood cherishes its working-class heritage, weaving the stories of the past with the energetic rhythm of the present. Traditional pubs frequented by laborers still stand proudly on street corners, their wooden interiors echoing with laughter and tales of days gone by.

Soho may be a small corner of London, but its spirit is immeasurable. It is a place where creativity knows no bounds, a hub of artistic expression and cultural revolution. The legacy it leaves on those who venture through its vibrant streets is one of inspiration and acceptance.

(Y/N) has been living in a big city their whole life, so moving to Soho was a dream come true. Even though they were excited, the hustle and bustle of the city was intimidating and overwhelming. They started to wander around and got lost in the busy street.

As they were trying to orient themselves , something caught their eye. It was a grand old Bentley, parked across the street. (Y/N) was mesmerized by it. The car was sleek and elegant, totally different from anything they ever owned and different from anything they’ve seen before.

The Bentley’s owner was leaning against the car, with his fiery red hair and a black jacket. He remained stern-faced despite the chaos brewing in his mind as he leaned against his sleek Bentley, his gaze fixed at the vintage little bookshop across the street. Even though (Y/N) had made eye contact with the Bentley owner twice, the person never responded which made them feel like they weren’t welcomed.

(Y/N) couldn’t peel their eyes away from the beauty of the Bentley. To them, the car was much more than a vehicle, it was a symbol of adventure. With that car they could travel the world, explore different places and meet people from all kinds of backgrounds. It was a dream come true.

(Y/N) already knew that living in Soho was going to be an amazing experience. They simply had to take this opportunity and make something of it. With that thought in their head, (Y/N) smiled.

"What?" The man spat out impolitely. 

(Y/N) flinched.

"Excuse me...hello, I'm really sorry for staring. You have such a lovely Bentley, I can't help but to stare" (Y/N) awkwardly stumbled not only on their words but on the steps too, talking to a stranger in a place you don't know can be dangerous. Slowly, (Y/N) walks to him but stay a few feets away from him.

"Oh, also I'm new around here so I don't actually know what to do besides walking around..umm" (Y/N) whispered to themselves, Crowley could barely hear them. 

(Y/N) does not want to make a weird first impression to Crowley. Their soft (H/C) hair bounce from every steps they are taking. 

Crowley was bored and a bit hungry. But the human seemed rather polite. (Y/N) had that innocent puppy dog look on their face. Maybe the human wasn't so bad after all, especially because they admired his car. 

He raised an eyebrow at them, wondering why they were approaching him. He didn't want to be bothered by someone looking for directions or something similar. 

However, he still asked, "Are you lost?" Maybe he could give them false directions, he smirked internally.

"Oh! No no... I'm not lost actually. I'm new to this area. I'm just hanging around here. I did visit some shops and uhh that coffee shop behind me, it was good! " (Y/N) directed their finger towards the coffee shop behind them. 

Their bright (E/C) eyes squinted, they smiled awkwardly or perhaps nervously. Their shoulders dropped as both of their hands are at the sides. 

"Hmm, new here. I don't know anyone that looks quite like you," Crowley muttered, looking them up and down. Their nervousness amused him, he was sure he could annoy them even more. 

He looked at them with a serious expression on his face, "What's your name?"

"Oh, I forgot to introduce myself! I'm (Y/F/N) , pleasure meeting you umm... " (Y/N) trailed off, trying to get Crowley to tell his own name. 

"Crowley." He said his name with a straight face, even though he was slightly entertained by the conversation.

Then he smirked, and his voice rang with a bit of sarcasm, "Pleasure is all mine," he said, even though he didn't really think that. "Oh, and are you some kind of exotic tourist around here, (Y/N) ?"

He knew (Y/N) just move into here since they mentioned it earlier but he decided to tease them even more. 

Flush creeps across their (S/C) cheeks. Their (E/C) eyes widen for a second before shifting glances all around the streets. "Uh... I'm a freelancer, I move into this neighborhood just to get some fresh air. It looks nice here" They flashes a smile to Crowley as they nervously tucked one hair behind their ear. 

"How about you Mr. Crowley? What are you doing here, I guess you're not new here like me since you look like you're seems to park your car here every days" questioned (Y/N) . 

"Oh, are you trying to figure out my secrets?" He asked with a smirk. "I've got some time to kill, so I thought I'd come and see if my best friend is in the shop."

He gestured in the direction of the shop. "I'm never far from him," he said with a little smile. "I have nothing better to do. I'm so bored. I wish I could fall through a crack in the world to a more exciting world." 

He looked at (Y/N) with a bit of curiosity. "Are you enjoying this part of the world?"

It was indeed a strange question, someone that you don't even know and meeting them for only a few seconds just ask you that. What does he wants? Is he trying to be friendly or just curious. 

(Y/N) glances at the bookshop Crowley gestured to, their eyes sparked as soon as they saw the shop. "Ohh! I would love to visit the bookshop, I was supposed to go there just to look around and introduce myself but I'm taking my time out here. Probably just me been nervous" (Y/N) chuckled. 

They turned back to look at Crowley "I do actually enjoy the world, there's a lot of stuff to be discovered! I get to do things that I enjoy too! " beamed (Y/N). Their smile widen at the thought of enjoying life with everything that they have. 

"It just so happens that my best friend works in that very charming little bookshop." He couldn't help himself, and grinned at (Y/N)'s excitement about the bookshop. 

"Is it really that exciting for you?" He asked, a bit amused. 

"Are you perhaps a fan of books, then?" Crowley wondered, because he himself enjoyed a good book every once in a while. But he was sure that there were many things more entertaining to do than reading. Or so he thought.

"I love books! It's just the smell of books got me feeling gleeful. Besides reading books, I also love listening to music especially when I'm drawing or reading. How about you Mr. Crowley, do you enjoy them as well? "  curiously, they look at Crowley in anticipation. 

"Hmm, you seem like a bit of a nerd," he teased. 

"Yes, I might enjoy books and music too," he said with a small smile. His grin widened, and he glanced at (Y/N) in a way that made they feel as if he was looking right through them. He always found it amusing to see someone blush, and he was sure (Y/N)'s face was starting to get a little pink. 

He took a breath and then asked, "Speaking of music, what kind of music do you like?"

(Y/N) let out a soft breathe laugh "To be honest, I love music like Queen but not a lot of people seems to enjoy it. Quite rare if I must say" They crossed their arms as they crinkles their nose. 

Crowley grinned when (Y/N) started to talk about their favorite band. He loved Queen, and he was actually quite surprised that they mentioned them.

"Queen? Really?" He asked. "I also really enjoy them, they're one of my all time favorites!"

The demon gave a loud laughter and then said, "I never thought that I would ever find someone in a place like this that enjoys music even half as much as I do!"

He looked at (Y/N) , and then added with a flirtatious edge in his voice, "Perhaps you and I aren't so different after all."

(Y/N) giggles, they hums a bit " Perhaps we aren't, Mr. Crowley " they winked. 

"Well, it was nice meeting you Mr. Crowley. I guess... I better go now. That bookshop of your good friend has been intriguing me for almost hours" They look down at their black leather watch, wrapping nicely around their left wrist. 

(Y/N) look up back to Crowley, smiling softly "Unless you wouldn't mind to walk me there and introduce me to your friend? " 

Crowley was surprised by their sudden flirtatiousness. Were they really flirting with him? A human, flirting with him? He liked it. 

"Of course I don't mind," he said with a smirk. "I don't want you to get lost. And it makes me happy to make you happy by introducing you to my friend," he replied with a charming smile. 

He started to walk towards the bookshop. It was almost time for closing, and he was hoping that his best friend was still around.

Before they could even reach to the bookshop. Crowley halted. He was hit by a strong sense of urgency, his heart rate increasing rapidly. He immediately stopped walking, turning to look at (Y/N) with a serious expression on his face.

(Y/N) looked at Crowley in concerned " Is something ma-"

"Something is wrong," he said in a low voice. "I have to go back."

He knew that something important had to happen to disturb him, but as always, his curiosity got the better of him. He decided to at least have a look, maybe it'd be worth it.

He quickly started to walk in the opposite direction, trying to ignore all of the people staring at him and wondering what the heck was going on.

Crowley let out a sigh. "Oh, for Go- ugh, what is it now?!" His face suddenly changed to an angry, annoyed gaze. 

Crowley stopped for a moment and turned to (Y/N). They seemed confused about his abrupt behavior, but there was really nothing he could do about it.

He said, "I'm sorry for taking up your time, but something urgent has come up, something I can't ignore."

Crowley then turned and ran as fast as he could, disappearing out of sight around the corner and leaving (Y/N) all by themselves with no idea what the heck just happened.

(Y/N) watched Crowley's Bentley disappeared as he drives away from there. They already at the bookshop door so they don't mind at all. Crowley business seems rather urgent so they don't really want to bother him. Crowley was an interesting man, wearing all black and his red colored hair stood out even more. 

(Y/N) shook their head, turning around to face the fascinating bookshop that they have been wanting to go inside. They took a deep breath, they look through the glass on the door, trying to find the mentioned friend of Crowley.

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A/N: I'm so sorry that they might be a bit OOC but I've been dying on creating a GO fanfic and finally after 2 seasons 😭 decided to write one. Anyways, reader is non binary,

I'll update new chapter whenever I can so please do not put too much hope on me. At first I wanted to write this as one shots but decided to make it a series. Thank you for reading it!

I might not be a big fan of Queen but I love them🧡

[tiltingheartand]

i'm sorry; that's classified

what's classified, precious?

a lot of things actually!

that's the working title (i ... will not be using it, i just hate coming up with titles so that's how it's saved) for the fic this snippet from several sentence sunday is from.

i suffer from a Terminal Case of “what if this character i just met who has a military background was on a gate team?” (… note, for those reading this who do not know what that means: this is a stargate reference.) part of this is the fact that eliot spencer quite literally would have been on one in canon if the sets had still been around, but also it is a symptom of my incurable Let’s Cross Everything Over With Everything Else problem. so. anyway.

the original version of this idea, before tommy kinard waltzed back into all of our lives, was going to have eddie be the one to have been on a gate team (and, i think, have that possibly have been one of the reasons he reenlisted? i can’t actually remember now), and that would have required so. much. timeline fuckery. and like, yes, the 911 canon timeline is very much doing the Jeremy Bearimy thing anyway, but i would’ve had to start screwing with the sg-1 timeline too and that was. a lot.

whereas tommy kinard, the man that he is, slots into the sg-1 timeline perfectly without any fuckery required; whenever anyone thinks he was actually in the army, we have a Hard Date of when he was in LA at the 118 — 2005 — and that is exactly when it needs to be to not require me to start moving things around in the sg-1 timeline.

ANYWAY. jesus goddamn christ. all of which is to say, this is the fic where jack o’neill and daniel jackson are in LA and get embroiled in some traffic Incident (i’ve rambled and/or bounced ideas for this and the original version off of @wilddragonflying and i’m fairly sure goats are involved) that the 118 rescues them from.

and then a few days later they swing by the firehouse just to say thank you, again, and tommy’s there specifically to pick up buck (and say hi to everyone while he’s at it), and then tommy goes downstairs and sees jack and daniel at the same time they see him, and it’s. A Moment. because a) they all know each other from something so fucking classified that in-universe the president of the country doesn’t even hear about it until after he’s been sworn in, and b) they all knew each other when DADT was in effect. different goddamn world.

so tommy’s acting weirdly distant and buck can’t figure out why, and then it comes up that jack and daniel are married (the 118 already all know, because it came up the other day, but why would tommy know), and — this is the snippet that i posted in the link above — there’s a weird semi-standoff until they all realize Hey, We’re All Okay Here.

(ask me about any of my WIPs, if you’d like!)

[ballcrusher74]

also uggh sorry to rant here rq ( might delete later if my dumbass dont forget ) but tbh this has kinda been bouncing around my mind where I only restrict having oc art / lore / etc on this blog cus dude it's honestly really demotivating to just have it flop really badly on twt.

yas, ik likes / views shouldn't equal worth but I think you gotta understand that getting a fanart piece to 1.7k, and then posting artwork of ur oc and it barely breaking 100 is actually saddening cus it's like. damn. ( only exception seems to be meiro tho but i kiinda wish my other guys also got just as much love )

idk and honestly the most interest I've seen in my guys is on here ( there are some people on twt but most of it is literally just my friends ) maybe I'm being dramatic about this and this is like. dumb and i'm asking for too much out of randos in my computer screen but idk man

fuck my chud life

[shadowgeist-stars]

There's something I wish we talked more about...

Everyone likes wondering about how the big "Lamiroir is actually Thalassa Gramarye and Trucy and Apollo are her kids" reveal would affect our oblivious pair of half-siblings. But I noticed that a grand total of NO ONE thinks about how certain other characters would also take the news. Mainly in Apollo's Khura'in family. (There will be SoJ spoilers below)

Let's start with an easy one. Datz.

He already knows Apollo (as "AJ"), and it looks like he meets Trucy when saving Apollo and Dhurke from the undersea cavern. Obviously a generally fun-loving fellow who I bet would happily call Trucy an honorary Defiant Dragon if he caught wind of her being Apollo's sister. Doubly so when remembering she managed to stow away in Edgeworth's luggage to reach Khura'in. (Rule-breakers need to stick together!) He'd probably also assign her some kind of nickname like TW or something, and consider himself her new uncle. He also seems like the only one crazy enough to willfully be Trucy's magic assistant/guinea pig, which would spare Apollo and Athena.

Then comes Rayfa, our dear crown princess.

While not as emotionally invested as her brother (and we'll get to him), it would be a surprise to learn that "Horn Head" has a little sister. And it just so happens to be the girl with the strange blue hat who was watching from the gallery during the trial that got Ga'ran deposed. While a bit upset that she never really got to talk to her back then, Rayfa would be fairly alright with seeing Trucy as a sister of some kind... and discuss with her the ways of pestering both of their brothers all in good fun.

Of course, Trucy would be over the moon to the mere idea of calling Rayfa her little sister, especially when she's a literal princess on the road to being queen. Their personalities could bounce off of each other surprisingly well, and maybe Trucy can help Rayfa swallow enough of her pride to actually call either of the boys "brother." And thanks to Phoenix's connections to Maya and Pearl, Trucy knows other spirit mediums who might be able to help Rayfa in her training.

And now we get to someone with a bit more... complicated stake in the matter, and honestly the meat and potatoes for this whole post: Nahyuta.

Being completely honest here, I think our dear Last Rites Prosecutor would take this news as a complete slap in the face. "Let it go and move on" mantra be damned, he'd basically be told "Hey, remember your first case against Apollo? With that magician girl you tried to get convicted for murder who turned out to have been framed? Yeah, she's actually your brother's sister, which also kinda makes her your sister by proxy. You unknowingly tried to get your own sister condemned for murder and quite possibly put on death row." (Since, y'know, capital punishment's still a thing in Ace Attorney L.A.)

Even if we almost never see our Not Guilty defendants hold a grudge against the prosecutors, Nahyuta's entire deal in Spirit of Justice was doing everything he possibly could to protect his baby sister and his mom, being unnecessarily harsh with the defense and the accused in the process. So finding out that he tried to condemn someone who could be considered part of his family on a false charge wouldn't be without consequence. (Turnabout Revolution only proved that because of his parents' direct involvement.)

Undoubtedly, he'd see fit to apologize to Trucy personally upon learning about her being Apollo's little sister, and would do so at his earliest convenience. But we can all be certain that she'd gladly accept him as another big brother regardless of any perceived "past transgressions." There would be hugs involved, I'm sure, and Nahyuta would be able to... possibly bring out the protective and caring big brother he was supposed to be from the very beginning.

Side note: Y'know this here lightning thing you see with Amara when she gets mad? And also Dhurke's dragon glare when he goes Mad Dad on Paul Atishon?

I get the feeling Nahyuta would inherit either or both of their little tricks to some extent when his big brother instinct REALLY kicks into high gear.