#also i will say we had good moments

[critterofthenight]

i wasted 4 years on the most toxic people possible but i think that i learned from it, and that the future will be better.

[grimstrawberry]

If I don't make light of everything, I'm gonna explode.

[sskk-manifesto]

Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me

[warningsine]

GIRLS5EVA • Summer Dutkowsky

[necrotic-nephilim]

ok but jayrosetim

bc rose did hit on tim and i can see her looking at how weird her bf is about tim and just be like

"so you want to rail that twink too?"

and then poor tim never knows peace again😔

OOOH. i like this a lot. also phrasing the absolute chaos that Rose pulled on Tim as her just hitting on him is so funny. bc the panel of Rose in Tim's bed, clearly wearing Robin panties will never leave my mind, she was unhinged about him. honestly in a very similar way to how Jason was too, now that you point it out. how have comics never addressed that-

think it's so funny if Rose tries to be Normal about Tim when she gets with Jason. bc she expects *that* to be a complicated can of worms she's not sticking her hand in, she knows too much about fucked up family dynamics. because she does really like Jason and wants to actually see where this relationship goes. Jason is the first person who hasn't tried to change something about Rose and seems to actually like her for who she is. she's not used to not having to change herself for people and it's a comfortable feeling to know he wants the ugly sides of her too. and Jason pointedly avoids conversations about Tim so she avoids it too. everyone's slept with everyone in the hero business, an old crush where she maybe went too far (she regrets nothing, only that she didn't go farther-) doesn't need to ruin this thing she has.

but then she and Jason actually run into Tim and Jason is *weird*, but he's not "cain instinct" weird. he's more "flowers in the attic" weird. and hey, she's *into it*. Tim does not seem into it, but her mind is already concocting plans of how to talk him into it. bc it didn't work when it was just her, but her and Jason on a united front? absolutely. like, for me i'd love leaning into this ship being outright dubcon and coercive in nature. the minute Jason and Rose are alone she takes one look at him and says the above and Jason is clocked both by how forward she is about it, and by *the fact she wants to rail him too*. because now this guilty obsession/crush he's been hiding feels a *lot* less guilty.

something about Rose and Jason trying to pull Tim on their side, both in a vigilante way and in a romantic way is so fun. it's "be my Robin" and Rose getting into Tim's bed naked but dialed up to eleven. Tim does not know peace. i'd love fucked up shit like leaving dead bodies as courting presents at his doorstep. putting a tracker on him but *also* giving him the coordinates to trackers they're both wearing bc hey, this is a show of *trust*, Tim. see, it's not weird bc now it's equal. you have us, we have you. fair. making sexual comments about him, sending him outright videos of them fucking and saying his name. the more Tim tries to push it away the more they up the ante. instead of videos, they just break into Tim's home to fuck in his bed and either he walks in on them or comes home to the obvious evidence of sex. they corner him on nearly every patrol he goes on, forcing him to get rescued by them in scenarios they clearly orchestrated. by the time Tim gives in it's bc he has no other options and he's been love-bombed by them so hard he's starting to believe all these promises about how they're the only ones who *get* him and that he'd be loved and taken care of.

the first time they have sex they nearly break Tim in half. Rose and Jason are secure in their own relationship but they've both been waiting for Tim for so long that they're nearly clawing at each other to touch him and fighting over who gets the "firsts" like, first to kiss him, first to ride him, first to fuck him. Tim makes the mistake of trying to get in the middle of it and ends up catching a few punches and is sternly told he's not a part of this conversation. it's objectifying and a little humiliating and by the end of the sex Tim is in *pieces*, a little bloody and so fucked out he can barely move. he realizes that if sex is like *this* every time, he's basically doomed. and he is, bc Jason and Rose are never going to be normal about him now that they have him. they're just going to claw for more and more control until they're the only people who matter to him.

[hanzajesthanza]

geralt is also a most real depiction of good quality fatherhood and great girldad representation because EVEN THOUGH witchers don’t even experience aging at the same rate as non-GMO humans, EVEN THOUGH it would be “biologically impossible,”

geralt having had been raising a pre-teen girl for maybe a few months to a year already “gave the impression of having aged,” his “face slashed by wrinkles.” the emotional toll on this man from raising she-devil ciri

and this is only the very beginning of the saga. BEFORE everything goes to shit. the wrinkles have set in

[kimbapisnotsushi]

see the thing that gets me about the nekoma v. nohebi match is that when naoi is helping yaku on the side of the court, he tells him, "shibayama may look weak, but he's strong" to try and reassure him and yaku just goes, "i know. it's not him i'm worried about" in response

and whenever i read that i'm just like "!!!" because yaku never doubted shibayama! yaku ALWAYS believed in him, even when shibayama didn't believe in himself! yaku trusted that he would carry! what the fuck was naoi even on! why would he say that in the first place! yaku is presumably the one who spent the most time with shibayama, training him and helping him and teaching him to grow! to connect! to become part of the team! that's YAKU'S number one pupil! how could yaku not have any faith in him? how could yaku think, even for a second, that shibayama wouldn't pull through?

also, his admission that it was lev he was worried about? which, yeah, i'm pretty sure all of us already knew — if anyone was going to be a weak link, it would be the cocky overconfident first-year brat who talked hot shit without anything to show for it. (and i'm saying this as someone who loves lev a lot, mind you.)

but what worried yaku the most was that lev didn't understand 'connection'. and while yaku could more than make up for it with his own skill, it's crazy to think that lev didn't understand it while yaku, of all people, was on the court. lev didn't understand until shibayama stepped in! and that's the crazier part: yaku couldn't connect with lev, but shibayama did. yaku and lev worked fine, yeah, but that wasn't what lev needed to understand. and that's okay! sometimes all it takes is the right person with the right words, and everything falls into place. and i think that's an absolutely brilliant and incredibly lovely lesson on how connection is also about finding the different ways to make puzzle pieces fit instead of sanding down their edges, because everyone is different and that should be something we are all understanding of!!!!

[p4nishers]

random hc but. crowley being a plague doctor in the 16th/17th century bc he's supposedly "tempting people into death" but he can never, ever bring himself to actually do that so he ends up soothing their pain as best as he can and comforting them in their last moments. one night, after he held a little girl's hand as she passed away, he sits down at the banks of the river thames, with his plague mask discarded on the dirt, and he starts out over the water with tears in his eyes, wondering what the fuck is actually the point? it's not the first time he's asked himself the question nor the first plague he witnessed but, here, now after personally witnessing hundreds of deaths every day, he really wonders what actually is the point of him? why does he exist and why should he keep existing. why does he get to live when so many others don't? how is that fair? how is any of it fair? that's how aziraphale finds him, as he just got back from an assignment somewhere or other and hears crowley is in town, so he discreetly looks for him and finds him there, sitting in the dirt, now with his head in his hands, his shoulders silently shaking and is obviously immediately worried but doesn't know how to comfort him or what's allowed so he just sits beside crowley and watches him try to pull himself together. aziraphale's heart breaks, he put what happened together from the mask and the robes and he obviously knows about the bubonic plague but was convinced it was hell's doing and couldn't have even imagined crowley was out there everyday, helping people under the guise of hurting them. is he surprised? no, of course not but it still hurts to see crowley like this. but he's afraid to cross their unspoken rules so he quietly waits crowley out. he watches the water and doesn't dare look at crowley as he lifts his head and takes a few shaky breaths in. after a few minutes of breathing, crowley croaks out "her name was mary" and nothing else, and aziraphale understands, god he understands. it's one of the things they never speak about after it happens but aziraphale can't forget the night he sat with crowley for hours, till the sun came up, as he cried about a death of one little girl. he holds it close to his chest and never, ever forgets.

[moldy-flowers]

The interesting experience of being pro Sasuke, anti konoha, pro tobirama, anti Naruto ending, pro Sasusaku, anti Itachi, pro Sakura, anti SasuNaru, pro Tobirama×Izuna, anti Madara, pro karin, anti Orochimaru, pro Uchiha and anti Hashirama. And also as much as I hate the guy danzo was kind of hot when he was younger...

[skeletalheartattack]

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 28: The Sparks Brothers

I'm not a movie person... So when I do actually rewatch a movie (I mean, even watch it, at ALL, haha) it must really mean that something is up. I mean, well, it also IS a thorough, highly enjoyable and visually appealing movie about a band that I've been so incredibly invested in for the past several months. So maybe it's a surprise that I don't watch it more often actually. Because one beautiful side-effect of seeing it each time was getting an unexpected and very strong surge of motivation to keep on going towards the things that matter to me the most, despite any and all obstacles that could appear on the way. Another side-effect of it is being happy and joyfull and being filled with warm feelings and thoughts for the whole following day at least. Usually up to 3 days afterwards actually.

But ok, of course, what I'm getting at is that the Maels' story is so incredibly inspirational. Seeing how they persevered through all those years and NEVER lost their spirit or their vision, never gave up... is not only moving but also something that reminds me that wow, so much *really* is possible. I spent so many years fully convinced that there are things that I'll never be able to achieve. And sure, some of them are indeed pretty unlikely to happen. But if you told me from even one year ago that I'd be making art daily and not dreading being so much as perceived anywhere in the great world (so, including the internet)... well, I would have not believed it at all. I really mean it when I say that I used to believe that there are things that I'll just never be able to do. It's like it was simply not meant for me to be able do it and have those experiences. And yet...!

There's a lot I owe Sparks and this is one of the biggest things I'll always be grateful for. They really changed my life for the better. Truly nothing else before them reaches the same degree of how much it helped me. And well, I'm saying this on TSB day because this is where this feeling of gratitude and feeling SO lucky becomes the strongest. And the beautiful thing about it all is that they were always just themselves. They had their vision, they knew what they wanted to do and didn't care about how it would be received. Which is such an important and meaningful message to me, I can't even express how huge it is to me to see these two people who only really had themselves and their endurance and got exactly where they wanted to be.

Alright, some less grandiose observations now. Well, let's start with the fact that this was by no means my introduction to Sparks but it still really cemented my love for them even more. I loved being reminded of their whole journey and learning more about it, and even moreso I loved being able to see more of their beautiful brotherly bond and their wonderful personalities. Truly no other people in this whole world make me as happy as them currently. And the brothers' sense of humour hits super close to mine, so this is also a time filled with genuine laughs (I die laughing at the absolutely true Sparks facts at the end EVERY TIME). And since I'm a huge fan of animation and mixed media art and such things, this was simply a joy to view for my more artistically-inclined side too.

And damn, those two hours and 15 minutes really fly by so fast. When I have to arrange a huge timeslot to watch it all in one go, because that's the only way to do it for me, and then it feels like no time has passed anyway. And even with so much being said there, it feels like there's still so much more to get to. But it's still enough to lift my spirits completely for a pretty long time. And to make me cry a lot of the time too... Absolutely impossible to not shed a tear by the end of it all. It's moving, it's funny as heck, it's super fun and it's absolutely beautiful and truly lifechanging. 💖

[castlescrumblingdvwn]

castaway diva / ep9.

the more i think about this scene of kiho breaking down after the confrontation, the more it breaks me

there had to be some part of him that hoped, however miniscule that hope was, that his father might have changed, even if only a little, throughout those years. that he couldn't possibly have stayed the same violent and bitter man even after all that time, and maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't have to resort to extreme means to keep him away from his family.

but it's crushed the moment he enters the house and the first thing his father does is suspect him, and when his suspicions are confirmed, immediately launches into a violent fit. all the while kiho coils in on himself as he takes the beating— and for those few moments all i could think about was the young kiho, helpless and weak with no one to protect him from the man called his 'father'. a figure who's supposed to protect him and care for him.

castaway diva isn't perfect by any means, but some scenes, for example this one, are definitely going to linger with me for a while.

what makes it even more heartbreaking is that it is truth in television for most, if not all, cases of abuse. the perpetrators continue with the same mindset, and rarely, if ever, change or show remorse. meanwhile, the victims/survivors are left to deal with the damage for the rest of their lives. even when they reach a better position in life and gain a support system, it continues to haunt them in the present. and it's evident in kiho, as his first instinct upon realising that the father has almost found them, is to take it upon himself to face him, all alone, even though the thought must terrify him. because that's what he learnt to do ever since he was young.

after everything— threats and warnings done, kiho walks to his car in a daze and that's when the futility of it all hits him in full force. watching him try to hold back tears, the bitter smile, as he fails and his body completely gives in to loud sobs was just... nothing could have prepared me for it, even if it was there in the preview. it's such a raw and heavy scene, and the background score only adds to it, along with, of course, the acting.

[transmasccofee]

this scene is ruining my life at first I didn’t get it but now I get it and Aughdhyfhfheujfuejfjjfjfnv

[simptasia]

my mum died last night

[cloudbends]

......................... new dandadan episode.

[coquelicoq]

god i had THE BEST TIME AT THE DENTIST TODAY and i feel completely unhinnnnngèd for saying that bc i never in a million years thought the dentist could be FUN but the hygienist was french and switched to french as soon as i mentioned that i had taken french and i understood almost everything he said to me and it felt so good!!! i never understand french!! things are paying off!!!! also i do super recommend this method of conversing in a language you are not super confident in, like it's not just a coincidence i had such a good time doing this at the dentist specifically, it was good precisely because there was very little pressure on me to talk and i could mostly just make yes/no/questioning noises and any time i wanted to say a sentence i could take my time with it because there were literally instruments in my mouth??? absolutely no pressure for me to say something just to say something it was heaven oh my god. i take back every joke i've ever made about dentist office conversational logistics. IDEAL MODE.