#also i think this is my favourite fucking moodboard

[tateshifts]

THEODORE NOTT moodboard & dr headcanons!

cw: NSFW

1 • boxing is his outlet. it’s been his favourite pass time in the past few months. he finds any excuse to just take the flop to london and get in the ring.

2 • theo loves his cars like he loves his women, loud. you best believe on the 2nd or 3rd date he’s taking you out in his beloved car just to fuck you in it. sweaty bodies, compressed spaces and fogged up windows are his biggest turn ons (i don’t understand this man at all)

3 • he wears this costume every year. he has multiple costumes for halloween weekend but he always has THIS costume on hand… boring. lazy. sloppy. yawning. but he looks so damn good so i stfu.

4 • he writes!! it’s something he uses to process his thoughts. it keeps him grounded and makes everything so much clearer for him. he also writes letters to his mother who passed away, it’s his way of communicating with her. sometimes, when he’s strong enough, he’ll visit her grave and read them to her just so she’s caught up on his life.

5 • cigarettes after sex is SO theo coded. he doesn’t listen to them in my dr even though i always encourage him too. he doesn’t listen smh- says that it’s not his genre

6 • loverrrr boyyyy, when theo’s in THE relationship with THE one, he is completely and utterly in love- to the point where whatever she says goes. in his past relationship he was very much in a black cat / golden retriever situation, theo being the cat. he has a thing for gryffindors especially the patil twins.. not sure where he’s going with that but yay theo!!

7 • such a gentleman, when he’s head over heels in love he does not care about what others think about him anymore. all that matter is you, he fucks off his reputation.

8 • smoker. do i need to say more?? weed is his go-to though. (he is a victim of daylight robbery by the dodgy man in hogsmeade)

[discoveredreality]

intro post <3

don't mind me editing this like every single day lol

my dm's and askbox is always open if u want to talk <3

anons are welcome too <3

also if u want to make new friends i am right here pls say hi im fucking lonely😭

anyways

BELOVED MOOTS <33333 (everyone is tagging them and this is fun)

this in no particular order just whoever pops up on my dash or smth idk. not every moots just the ones i actually know lol. ok so

@im-ur-sleep-paralysis-demon THEY'RE AMAZING LOVE THEM SM IF U DON'T FUCK OFF BECAUSE OMG KJHLGJKFJHLKYFJHKJGL

@ma-lan13 HELP MY BESTIE IRL GOT TUMBLR OMG OMG. AND SHES ACTUALLY USING IT WTF?????? ANYWAYS SHES THE BEST <333

@bloophasarrived SHE'S THE SWEETEST AND SO WONDERFUL. HER PERSONALITY SPARKLES AND OMG SHE'S SO FUN AHHH

@marylily-my-beloved I LOVE HERRR WE HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS. SO NICE AND EASY TO TALK TO. AND WHY DOES SHE KNOW ME SO WELL <3333

@im-just-here4853 my vent buddy omg we just vent to each other i love her so much idk what i would do without her <33

@im-on-crack-send-help TWINNING IN LITERALLY EVERYTHING. SAME MUSIC TASTE. SAME TASTE IN FOOD. IN DRINKS. IN THE WAY WE THINK. WTF. ANYWAYS SHE'S MY POOKIE I LOVE HER <333

@the-gay-skeleton-in-ur-closet THEY'RE THE BEST OMGGGGG and they're nice and cool and shit <333333 i'm quoting myself it's fine AND LIKE SO NICE AND GOOFY AND EVERYTHING OMG

@cubemagnet somene i met on a random post and now we occasionally team up to correct grammar lol 🤓🤓🤓 anyways she's amazing :D and everything she says is so iconic like isjflsrijglruhglsuglijrsg

@book-girl4eva SHE'S AMAZINGGGGG. IT'S SO EASY TO GOOF AROUND W HER I LOVE IT. SHE ALWAYS SLAYS SO HARD. EVERYTHING ABOUT HER SLAYS. idk if you'll see this but this is for u pookie <3

@mil-pinterest-sss-here-i-am ??? questioning why we're moots. but he's literally so nice. literally will be my therapist and help me w maths because that shit is impossible 😭

@dandelionflowery omg literally so kind and everything all the time. so fun fun reading their fics and doing shit together omg

@sweetwarmcookies16 OMG RIJGDJFGIJFGIF THE BEST I LOVE PLAYING GAMES TOGETHER AND TALKING AND EVERYTHING. ALSO AN AMAZING WRITER

idk brain isnt braining ill add ppl as i go along

moodboards made by my lovely lovely moots <3

so far i only have one here cause i forgot to link the previous ones whoops 😭😭😭

about me

i'm ari. she/her. nicknames welcome. go wild. dude/bro/girl/literally anything is also fine. i use 'lol' and '<3' too much. minor. literally the biggest procrastinator and so disorganised i dare u to find someone worse than me. i'm indian but i live in australia. bengali/north indian idk. band kid :D my pinterest is here. PLEASE DM ME IF U WANT TO. I NEED FRIENDS. IM AWKWARD AND BAD AT MAKING CONVERSATION BUT STILL PLS 😭😭😭

personality/star sign or whatever

according to the mbti test here i am an istp-t. i am also a cancer. i found out my sun, moon and rising signs and the marauders version and i wrote it down and lost it so then i redid it and i lost it again so i can't bother at this point someone help me :(

time zone

Australian Eastern Standard Time (AEST) i think?? SUCK ON THAT AMERICANS AND WHOEVER ELSE EHHEHEHHEHE ;LSDJFSFJIJFDJF;LJ

my music taste

i love taylor swift, conan gray, olivia rodrigo, sabrina carpenter and honestly a lot of other stuff lol. also love bollywood music.

favourite books and authors

i love reading and i'm usually a really fast reader lol. i love harry potter (fuck jkr tho), kotlc, chetan bhagat books, the inheritance games, agggtm, literally all of karen m. mcmanus's books, the divergent series, pjo and hoo, lorien legacies, the selection, powerless, soc, girl in pieces, dictionary of lost words and bookbinder of jericho, all the books by amish, and a bunch of other books.

dni

idk the usual?? if u think ppl arent valid or you're literally an asshole. honestly you all can go get stuffed. idgaf

tag games and shit

yes you can absolutely tag me. i love tag games and chain asks. sometimes i may not get to doing it but i usually will and it makes me so happy when i'm tagged lol

tags

i don't post that much stuff so i don't really have mulitple tags for my posts. anything or any shitposting or thoughts will be tagged #ari's shit. for asks it's #ari gets an ask?

fandoms!

i'm literally obsessed with drarry but i'm mostly part of the marauders fandom. i'm starting to make my way through all of the marauders fics. i love love love hermitcraft. i'm an ethogirl literally who doesn't love etho?? also really into trafficblr. i literally love six of crows so much like omg. desperately trying to get through the magnus archives im only 8 years late haha i also love kotlc sm. (team foster-keefe forever!) i'm low-key in love with keefe sencen cause omg. aaaand also a bunch of other shit but those are the main ones idk bro

i'm bored and this is too long already might as well add more so here are a bunch of userboxes :D

and that's all not because i have self control but because there is a limit to images per post 😭😭😭 i literally had to delete some of my aesthetic images for this soooo

all the above photos are not mine, i got them off of pintrest.

my profile pic is obviously from the makowka picrew here

the beautiful dividers are linked here. these are by @saradika-graphics she is a literal star these dividers are so good

IK THIS IS WAY TOO FUCKING LONG AND I KEEP ON ADDING SHIT MORE SHIT SO IF U ACTUALLY LIKE READ TO THE BOTTOM THIS HERE IS FOR U LMFAO ILYSM <333333

[changenameno]

My Own (Chapter 1)

Summary:

Geralt finds himself once more on the path, gloomily looking at what lies ahead. And you? You had no one, no home and certainly no coin. Well that’d be something you had in common. No coin. You two are surely off to a great start… Pairing: Geralt of Rivia x Fem. Nymph Reader

Warnings: 18+, death, blood, cursing, angst, MDNI (there may be smut in the future)

Word count: 1.5K A/N: This is my first attempt writing something that I’d actually post. Have been afraid to do so, for a very, very long time. It’s not proofread, any mistakes are my own. Please be kind, comments/rebblogs are very appreciated…Thank you❤️✨

Shout-out to the lovely @livesinfantasyland not only for her beautiful crafted moodboards (which you should totally check out!) but also her kind words of encouragement! One moodboard of yours especially sparked my writing muse, called “Bathing with the Witcher”. Thank you soooo much! You truly are a sweetheart, and I hope you will like this…

!The Witcher characters and world are not mine!

🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻 CHAPTER 1 Looking back you saw the castle ablaze with fire. Smoke spirals rising into the dark sky, only adding to the clouds above. Your home was burning to the ground before your very eyes and you could do nothing to save it.

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He grunted, reproachfully opening his yellow eyes. A new day was only just breaking, not even fully light yet. It had been another night on the road, without a job, without coin… Yesterday Geralt had tried selling the Kikimora to the alderman, who in turn had promised their mage would buy the beast. Turns out, Stregobor was just another weird wizard, talking nonsense about lesser evils. Then there had been Renfri, he didn’t actually think she’d leave Balviken but he wasn’t very prepared for the market fiasco either. Now he squinted at where his swords lay next to him. With the addition of a brooch attached to one them, it should serve as a reminder that something like that would never happen again. He slowly sat up, sore and still bloody. His thigh throbbed, there was a deep gash in his black breeches where Renfri had stabbed him. Vesemir would have scolded him for not taking care of his wound right away. Grunting once more, he got up and walked to where Roach was standing near a tree. She tried to nuzzle him and he let her, petting her sturdy neck then reaching into his saddlebags and grabbing a cloth and his least favourite potion. He didn’t bother sitting down, Geralt simply poured the liquid over the wound. “Rrgg f-fuck,” he grimaced. Once the excruciating pain had subsided a little, he wrapped the white cloth around his thigh, all the while breathing through his clenched teeth. Roach nickered softly, he turned his yellow eyes toward her and lifted one of his brows “Hey don’t be mean… I know I should’ve done that yesterday.” Suddenly his head whipped to the right, he had heard something on the other side of the clearing. Though he didn’t see anything yet, Geralt was sure that there was something or more likely someone behind that huge oak tree.  

                                                               Slowly and without making a sound he made his way over to his swords, picking the one closets to him and readying his fighting stance. His nostrils flared, the reason why he picked up the sword in the first place. That smell. Unnatural. A tinge of blood but also another very pleasant scent nearly overpowering his senses. He couldn’t pinpoint what exactly that scent was, but he’d never smelled anything like it. Though now that he was thinking about it more clearly, he remembered that he had smelled it before. It had been in the air, only a whiff but still the reason he woke up so early. That must mean whoever was hiding, had been there for some time now. Geralt lowered his sword, staring at the oak tree. Too tired and angry to come up with a refined plan he simply roared, “Show yourself!” With his luck, obviously nothing happened. Waiting a few more frustrating minutes, he finally made his way over to the oak tree. The dewy grass making his boots wet. As he reached the end of the clearing, he took step by soundless step around the thick tree trunk, once more sword at the ready. It was like watching a cat stalking its prey. Or so he thought. Before he could even lift his sword, a branch hit him square in the face and with such force, he stumbled backwards.

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It felt like your lungs were drowning, drowning in thick smoke. Even though the castle was dozens of miles behind you by now, it still felt like you couldn’t breathe. The cool night air doing nothing in aiding the battle of your burning lungs against your panic stricken system. They couldn’t get you. They couldn’t… Your mind supplied very unhelpfully, that they indeed could get you, because they had horses and were therefore a lot quicker than you. But you couldn’t stop. You had to get away, so you continued to stumble through the night. Then you heard it, the rumbling thunder of the rapidly approaching horses. “There she is! Quick, we’ve got her!” “Over here!!” The voices rang through the night. Before you could run any further, the riders of doom had circled you. Wide eyed and breathing heavily you looked around. Tall horses surrounding you, all of which were ridden by deadly armed men. There was no escape. Looking at the ground you saw a branch, so you swiftly picked it up. It was barely longer than your forearm, but still better than nothing. One of the man dismounted his horse chuckling, “Aaaw that’s adorable, we’ve got ourselves a fighter. But Princess don’t bother, we shall deliver you unharmed. Isn’t that right?” He laughed darkly and the other surrounding men joined in. Yet you refused to lower the branch, so he kept talking as if you were a scared little girl. Technically you were scared but surely you were no little girl.

His first mistake, dismounting his horse. His second, nearing you without drawing his weapon. And thirdly underestimating you. He couldn’t finish his next demeaning sentence before you hit him over the head with all the strength you could muster. A truly horrid scream and cracking sound followed, then his body hit the ground. Unmoving. One of the other men screamed: “That damned idiot, get her!!” You let yourself fall onto your knees, releasing the branch and putting both your palms on the ground. Digging your fingers into the dirt, you began to murmur, the only thing that could save you now. The men grew uneasy, as did the horses. “What is she doing?” “How should I know?” “Make her stop!!” Suddenly a piercing pain exploded on your right shoulder. An arrow had struck you. You whimpered but didn’t stop whispering. Then finally the ground began to shake. “What’s happening!?” The horses panicked and reared up, just as the first root shot up and knocked the three men closest to you off, of the back of their horses. The resounding thud as they hit nearby trees, let chaos further explode around you. Screams, shying horses, roots continuing to shoot from the ground, pain. It was deafening. And yet you didn’t hear anything, besides your own racing heart. Quickly you got up on wobbly feet, trying to breathe through the pain. With your left hand you struggled to get a hold of the arrow sticking out of your shoulder, but you only succeeded in breaking the shaft off. The resounding pain, made you howl loudly. “F-uck…”, you pressed out. Oddly enough right then everything had come to a halt. Spooked by what’d happed, all the horses had either run off on their own, or with more or less conscious riders still in the saddle. The remaining men strewn on the ground unmoving.

The roots now, nowhere to be seen, as if they hadn’t just been beating dozens of armed men unconscious. Only weirdly shaped holes in the ground, pointing to an unnatural maybe magically induced battle. You didn’t really care about that though. The most pressing matter was, getting away, so you steadied yourself and started walking as fast as you could manage. Because your shoulder blade throbbed with every step, you weren’t going very fast at all.

Still you soldiered on. And on… and on. Through the night. Numbed by exhaustion and the horror that came with your escape, you weren’t very aware of your surroundings. Just enough that you’d picked up the branch before you left, as a last defence against who knows what.

As you continued to stumble through the woods, the first ray of light penetrated the thick foliage overhead. So you came to a halt at the edge of a clearing, leaning against a huge oak tree and sinking to your knees. The exhaustion catching up, made you lay down on your left side to not further antagonize your injured shoulder.

You lay completely still, eyes closed, for about ten minutes only concentrating on your breath. Seconds before you could finally welcome the blessed unconsciousness of dreamland, a roar nearly made you jump out of your skin: “Show yourself!”

CHAPTER 2

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Taglist:

If you're interested in being on my taglist, please let me know! And if you want to be taken off (my taglist), feel free to tell me! ❤️✨

[palmviolet]

how to cope with moving to another town for the first time?

im gonna be getting my master's but for that i need to move and it feels scary as hell

i am so late to answering this, so if you've already moved, then congrats, and i hope it went well! if not, right this way...

i've been in my new place about a month now and it's honestly been amazing. but i can say that because it now feels amazing in sort of hindsight? in that i had my ups and downs the first few days, stressed about my decision-making, missed the countryside etc. it happens. now it feels amazing. trust that you'll get to that point. and the things to keep telling yourself when these feelings creep in:

just sit with this feeling. it's okay to feel bad things. (something i'm working on lol i'm very much a 'everything is fine' person. sometimes it's not fine. and that's fine.)

life's about experiences. some of those experiences are stressful and bad. now you've moved you probably have a lot more shit to think about and a lot of shit to do literally all the time. maybe you'll be on tumblr less and going outside more — which is a dreadful prospect when you're thinking about it, but when you're doing it, you'll probably be doing it because you want to. which is one of the hardest things to accept about growing as a person, that our wants and fears will change. unfortunately, moving does change you. so–

main character syndrome it. make four moving playlists and a moodboard for your new room, sit there with your decorations and candles and the music blasting and pretend it's the opening scene to a movie. romanticise the hell out of it because you're growing into a new phase of life, you're going to meet new people, you're going to try new things — it's exciting. maybe tomorrow you'll try the food that will be your favourite for the next ten years. maybe you'll discover a new song to soundtrack your year. maybe you'll fall in love. world is your oyster etc etc

time might run linearly, but life sure as hell does not. you can always say fuck it and try something different. this is another thing that's comforting — that you're an adult, and you can genuinely do what you want. you hate your masters, hate your new town, hate the move? (circumstances permitting) move back! and if you can't move back, look at your life and see what you can change. maybe you can't quit your job but you can start saving to move away from your shitty roommate. you can delete instagram because watching 57 reels every morning makes you depressed and you can find a new place to study that isn't your own kitchen table, like that historic library around the corner you didn't even know was there. you can go to that social event alone and make a new best friend, or just a familiar face to smile at on the street. you can live.

the world is full of choices and that's terrifying but also so very very liberating. social pressure loves to convince us there's a linear narrative our lives should follow — a highly normative, conservative vision of nuclear success, watered-down but still very much present in liberal ideology — and it's simply not fucking true. go wild and follow your dreams and remember that nothing is permanent, very little is irreversible, and you can do what you want. so do what you want.

[denzartriste]

MY FAVOURITES!!!! THEM!!! THEY ARE THE FIRST I DREW AND THE BEST ONES!!

Fundy's text: Fundy (animorpher), still can't control instincts very well, half morphs into a fox at work, Who needs testosterone when you have fur, [notes to myself: This under half+fluff, this bang shape]. Pin saying "this man hates purple."

Purple's text: Purpled (alien), Species physically adapts very quick. Very suited for combat+camouflage, Knife in pocket, Purple parts in hair are antennas, very few of them alive at a time (used to be much more). Skin cannot be broken or harmed - it acts as an armour and can be peeled at knuckles+chest. Dies and is reborn every 5-10 years to strenghen protected skin <- takes a couple of months to fully relearn english. How skin peels - antenna's are not skin and can't be peeled - They can be damaged normally though. [he also has a pin on his bag that says "This bitch loves purple", a joke gift from tommy]

Charlie my BOY I LOVE HIM (Quackity's also here i guess /silly)

Quackity: Quackity (guy), Just some guy, bit of a dumbass, Gets preformative/dramatic when feeling any sort of negative emotion. Hides hair in beanie [note: I'm canadian i say tuque i wrote tuque at first but then i decided to conform pensive face /j] - glass eye+gold teeth -Fancy fucking shoe haver

Charlie: Charlie (guy...?), Mimics people to look more "human" <- the world is his moodboard! Gooby goo! Zoopkeeper mainly. "Normal self", Socks+ sandal inspo from Fundy, Eye accessory from Sam, nose like Foolish's, Hair from Q, Hoodie inspo from Purpled+Fundy. Sad edition (ft. hoodie), Totally real Big Q

Sam's design is so much of a work in progress you dont understand im hindered by the skill im at i cannot draw his body. I just gave him a fucking cloak, anyway-

Sam: Sam (Hork-Bajir), Janitor+Tech guy, former controller (he got better)(and is on the run), Purpled+Fundy think he's currently a controller (previously Foolish too), Eyes on sides of his head, Herbavour, [arrow pointing towards flat teeth] ?maybe, Body/posture, Blade like body (farming scythe specifically), Cloak to hide body, leaning forward on arms, gas mask constantly letting out smoke

Foolish: Foolish (Andalite), Complains about his body - Fundy just thinks he's trans, Doesn't understand fashion but he tries! (Fundy just think's he's trans), Had a book 6 plot w/ Sam, Uses stalk eyes to keep an eye on dangers, About to trip

Pardon me for all the text lmao i just wanted to make sure people understood the notes. Gonna talk more about them in the reblog :]

[onceuponastory]

letting you down - rockstar!bucky x reader

Don't you get sick of only hearing your own voice? Talk like you're so damn tough, but you're just a little boy You like to think you've broke the mould, but now I'm sure, You'll crack just like the rest when I break your fucking jaw! - the best thing (that never happened) by we are the in crowd

Edit: Although the girl I used in the original moodboard was meant to be Natasha, I want my fics to be inclusive for all, so have updated the moodboard to reflect this. Plot: Tour romances mean nothing serious...right?

Or, fresh out of a breakup and deciding to focus on her music, Y/N jumps at the chance to go on tour with one of her favourite bands to take her mind off of things. Especially romance. Unfortunately for her, their drummer just can't keep his eyes off of her. Pairing: Rockstar!Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader Warnings: Emotional abuse and manipulation (not from Bucky), reader’s ex being a dick, self doubt, a tiny mention of violence and anxiety. As always, if I miss any triggers, please let me know. Notes: Another rockstar Bucky fic, because I do love him so. Also, this was inspired by song above, so I recommend you listen to it (also because it’s a great song). Again, thanks to @staticscreenwriting / @astartothemoon for my dividers. Not beta’d, so any mistakes are my own.

Taking a seat on the cold wooden chair in her agent’s office, Y/N anxiously nibbles on the skin of her lip, almost tearing it off with how nervous she is. Only an hour ago, she was told to come to the office urgently because her agent had news for her, too important to share over the phone. The whole time, she’s been wracking her brain to figure out what she could want to tell her. And each time, her mind has come up with the worst potential outcomes. And after just being dumped, that’s the last thing she needs right now. “So, we have some news.” Helen, her agent, announces, peering at her over the frame of her glasses. Y/N gulps. It’s the sort of look a mother gives her child when they’re caught sneaking cookies out of the jar, or when she knows that they’re the one who broke her vase. Either way, it’s not a good sign. She’s definitely about to be dropped. Maybe Dylan's right. Maybe she’s not cut out for this. Her stomach churns, and she warily eyes the exit, just in case.

“Good news, I hope…?” She chuckles awkwardly, starting to hope the ground will swallow her whole.

“It depends on whether you have any plans in September.” Frowning, Y/N raises a brow. However, before she can even ask why, Helen continues. “Because The End of The Line wants you to open for them on their US Tour that month.” She states casually. Y/N’s mouth drops open.

“WHAT?!” she squeals. “Are you serious?!” The End of The Line is a band she knows very well. Okay, she knows their music. Yet, considering how they’ve got multiple number ones and album nominations under their belts, practically everyone knows who they are. They’re one of the most successful bands going in the scene right now. But she had no idea they knew who she was. What feels like only a few months ago, Y/N was posting her own original songs on her YouTube and performing in her local bar…and now, she’s going on tour with one of her favourite bands. Not even that. Imagine the exposure this could bring. All the new fans and support. She doesn’t even realise how much her heart is beating or how close she is to hyperventilating until Helen passes over a glass of water.

“Don’t be so modest.” She tuts. “The first single you released has been in the Top 10 for weeks, and your album is selling incredibly well. You’re in high demand, and people know it.” Y/N gulps down the water almost in one go, still shaking. “Are you okay? I don’t want you passing out on my floor.”

“No, no. I’m okay! I’m good.” Y/N lies. Helen raises a brow.

“Okay, well I need to confirm your attendance with their team so they can schedule a meeting with them and the band to go over venues. And then there’s merchandising, transport arrangements….” Helen’s voice fades into static as Y/N grapples with the situation. She’s going on tour with one of her favourite bands. They know who she is, and they like her. She pinches her skin a few times, wondering if she’s still dreaming. That she’ll open her eyes and she’ll be a nobody again, her perfect Cinderella story over. 

However, the repeated pinching doesn’t work, meaning that this is real. That revelation somehow both makes her relieved and absolutely terrified. Sure, she’s going on her first tour…but that means there’s more people to disappoint. The band, for a start. But then again, going on tour means meeting one of her favourite bands ever. Not to mention that by getting herself out there, more and more people can discover her music, and she can hopefully do what she loves for a living, rather than waiting tables for the rest of her life. Which means potentially more tours and new albums. And she won’t have to spend as much time in her practically empty apartment now that Dylan’s left. “So? What should I say?” Helen asks, peering over the rim of her glasses again.

Taking a breath, Y/N answers: “Tell them I’d love to tour with them.”

A few weeks later, Y/N and Helen enter the building where she’s about to meet The End of the Line and their agent. Glancing around the vast building, Y/N’s heart rate picks up. A year ago, she could only dream of going to a place like this for a visit, let alone to meet one of the biggest bands in the scene to plan a tour with them. As they enter the elevator, Y/N fiddles with the waistband of her trousers, suddenly feeling more and more constricted. 

“Maybe this was the wrong outfit choice. Maybe I should’ve been more casual?” She wonders. “Actually, maybe I should just go. I definitely do not fit in here. Sure, I’ll be getting out of the house, but is it really worth all this?” Y/N bounces anxiously on her heels, waiting for the elevator to reach the floor they need so she can make a break for it. 

“Y/N, please calm down before you stress me out. That’s the last thing either of us needs.” Helen sighs.

“Sorry. I’m just nervous.” Yet she can tell Helen’s words are not malicious. Helen really does care for her. She just has a funny way of showing it sometimes.

“I know. Trust me, though, they don’t bite. And I made Tony promise that he’d play nice, too.” She chuckles. Y/N doesn’t laugh. The elevator dings, and Helen announces that they’ve made it. Y/N’s heart drops. Although she considered running, she now can’t move. “Come on.” Helen orders, beckoning her to follow. Y/N does as she asks, as if on autopilot.

“That woman must have magic powers.” She thinks to herself.

When they reach the meeting room, to Y/N’s surprise, Helen simply walks in without knocking, giving her no time to prepare. 

“Well, look who finally arrived! It’s wonderful to see you again, Helen.” A man grins, shaking Helen’s hand. He’s dressed in a crisp black suit, one that Y/N recognises absolutely costs more than her rent for a year. Presumably that’s Tony. Y/N steps forward, ready to introduce herself. Until-

“Hey! You must be Y/N!” Before she can even react, Natasha Romanoff is standing in front of her. Y/N gulps. 

“Yeah, that’s me. It’s nice to meet you!” She holds out a hand for her to shake, but Natasha pulls her into a hug instead. 

“There’s one thing you gotta know about Nat. She’s a hugger.” She recognises Steve’s voice, but suddenly realising Natasha Romanoff is a real person to then being hugged by her in such a short space of time is a lot for Y/N to cope with.

“You’re gorgeous! I can’t wait to go on tour with you!” Nat squeals, and Y/N mutters something in reply, still in shock. 

“Nat, let the poor girl breathe and let the rest of us say hi!” a voice speaks, and Y/N is soon released from Nat’s grasp. Then, she meets the rest of the band, starting with Steve and Sam. “And over there is…” 

But the man on the couch needs no introduction. Bucky Barnes leans against the back of the couch, twirling a drumstick between his tattooed fingers. In fact, tattoos cover both of his arms and most of his hands, little of his actual skin showing. He cocks his head, looking over her body with a smile. This man just oozes confidence…and he’s fucking gorgeous.

“Bucky.” She whispers, although not quietly enough, as Bucky laughs.

“Yup, that’s me.” Y/N blushes. Bucky gets up and shakes her hand. Her fingers brush over the calluses dotted around his fingers, and a shiver reverberates through her body. “Nice to meet you.” He smiles, and Y/N gulps. Fuck, this man is attractive, and he knows it. And he probably knows that she knows it too, given how he’s looking at her. Nothing can come of this, though. She’s here to do a job and for her music, not to fall in love. Especially after everything that’s happened in her love life, and especially not with a band guy like Bucky Barnes. 

“Come on, let’s start planning.” Tony orders. As the group takes their seats, Bucky sits right across from her, still smiling. Still staring at her. Y/N’s breath hitches in her throat.

She can already tell…he’s got trouble written all over him.

The next few months of interviews, photoshoots and practice sessions whizz by in a blur. In seemingly no time at all, it’s time for Y/N to go on tour. She looks up at the tour buses, her stomach churning with both excitement and her nerves. 

Is it too early to go home?

“Hey! You made it!” a voice calls. And there go her escape plans.

“Hey Eddie. Do you know where I’m supposed to be staying? Am I with you guys on your bus?" she asks. Eddie is one of the band’s merch guys, and since meeting, the pair gelled right away, something which Y/N is immensely grateful for. Of course, she’s glad she and the band are getting on so well, but it’s nice to have a friend who isn’t in a band, someone she can just talk to about anything. In all honesty, Y/N’s still nervous around the band. They’re lovely, but she’s star-struck and hopelessly awkward whenever she’s with them, which isn’t a good thing when you’re trying to make friends. 

To her confusion, though, Eddie chuckles. “Sorry Y/N, but you’re not with us.” He gestures his head to the other bus. “The musicians are all in there.” Y/N gulps. This isn’t what she expected. She feels like a fish out of water, even now. Like she doesn’t belong. She’s just an opener, a nobody.

“But-” 

“Yes, that means you too.” Eddie cuts her off. “And we’re full.” He continues before she can say anything more. “On you go.” When she doesn’t move, he gently nudges her forward, towards the door of the bus. “You better be fast and get a good bunk!” He calls after her as she nervously steps on board. 

As she makes her way to the bunk area, clutching her bag close to her chest, Y/N looks around the bus, her home for the next few weeks. Its kitchenette is even bigger than her kitchen at home. Actually, this whole bus is bigger than her apartment. Earlier this year, she could only dream of standing on a bus like this, yet alone living here. This is definitely going to take some getting used to. 

“Hey guys.” She smiles when she reaches the bunks. They all smile when they see her, each welcoming her to her new home, which makes her feel a little less nervous. “So, which bunk is mine?” 

“You’re up here, above me.” Bucky answers. Y/N’s eyes widen, and immediately, her nervousness is back. Bucky? She’s sleeping in close proximity to Bucky? The same drummer who’s been on her mind ever since she met him, despite her attempts to block him out? How can this possibly go wrong? “I hope that’s okay. If you’d rather have the bottom one, just say.” He reassures her. Despite her nerves, Bucky’s commitment to making sure she’s okay and comfortable makes her smile. 

“No, the top one is totally fine. Thanks Bucky.” She nods, trying to throw her bag onto the bed, but unable to reach.

“Let me help you with that.” Bucky chuckles. 

“Are you sure? I’m okay Bucky, it’s-” But the bag falls to the floor before she can finish her sentence. Bucky laughs again. Yet it’s not a mocking laugh. It’s a friendly laugh, actually. “Okay, maybe I do need help.” Bucky picks up her bag, lifting it over her head and onto the bunk with ease. As he does, she immediately notices his proximity to her. He’s so close that he’s almost trapping her between the bunks. So close she could reach out and run her finger along every single outline of each of Bucky’s tattoos, touch every freckle and birthmark dotting his skin. Y/N gasps. She never realised how muscular he was at first. “Thanks.” She smiles.

“You’re welcome.” He nods. For a moment, it’s as if it’s just them two on the bus, in their own little universe, each staring into the other’s eyes. But then, a little voice sounds in Y/N’s head.

“Don’t get with band dudes. They’re no good. And they’re the last thing you need, especially now.” And so, she pulls away. As she does, she registers Bucky’s smile faltering slightly. “So, what are the beds like? Are they comfy?” She asks, climbing up to her bunk, hoping to change the subject. 

“Yeah, they’re alright.” Bucky replies, his voice mumbled slightly. As she lays down, Bucky’s smile fading and his slight disappointment replays in her mind. His disappointment confuses her.

This is for her own good.

For both of their own good.

So why does she feel so bad about it?

Early the next morning, Y/N sits alone at the small table in the bus’ kitchenette, staring out at the window and watching the world go by. A steaming mug of coffee sits opposite her. Unsurprisingly, her nerves meant she didn’t sleep well the night before. Especially since tomorrow marks the first night of the tour, and her first time performing for people who aren’t the regulars at her local bar.

“Hey.” A familiar voice speaks, pulling her out of her thoughts as Bucky sits opposite her. Y/N rubs her eyes, mumbling a good morning. “You good? Wasn’t expecting anyone else to be up so early.” He remarks. She waits, a part of her expecting a cheeky or sarcastic comment to follow. However, there’s no malice in Bucky’s comment. In fact, it’s far from cruel. It’s from a place of concern, making sure she’s alright after having her world changed practically overnight. And Y/N appreciates it more than he’ll ever know.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” Y/N murmurs, wiping at her eyes. “Just homesick, that’s all. I’m not used to being away from home on tour yet. I mostly just stick to playing local bars.” It’s not exactly a lie. Sure, it’s not the main reason she’s sitting here teary eyed at not even 8.30am, but it’s still part of it. Bucky’s brow furrows. A part of her expects him to judge her, or to laugh at her for being so inexperienced. Like she’s used to people doing. Well…like she’s used to Dylan doing. Or worse, he’ll start prying. Something she absolutely isn’t ready for. However, Bucky simply nods. 

“Yeah, I get that. It took us all a while to get used to it, too. But don’t worry, you’re doing great, and you’re definitely good enough to be on tour.” And for the first time that morning, Y/N finds herself smiling. 

“So, now we’ve established why I’m here so early in the morning, can I ask why you are?” 

“Well, I’ve always been a bit of an early bird, and when you share a bus with three other people, some of whom snore….” He trails off, and he and Y/N laugh. “I usually take this time to write some music, but it’s nice to have some new company for once.”

“Have you been working on anything special?” Bucky shrugs.

“Just some things here and there. Maybe we could plan a writing session.” 

“Just us?” Y/N regrets the question almost immediately. Because who does that? Who asks a cute guy who talks about hanging out with you if his friends will tag along too?

“If you want.” Bucky smiles, and something in Y/N’s stomach flutters. “Okay, I’m gonna get some breakfast.” Bucky announces, getting up. “Do you want some?”

“Sure, what have you got?”

“We have…cereal or cereal.” He offers, holding up two boxes. Y/N laughs.

“Wow, what varied choices. I think I’ll have cereal, please.” Y/N points out the box she wants, and Bucky nods.

“A wise choice.” Y/N giggles again, and he grins. He passes over a bowl and sits back down. The pair chat as they eat their breakfast, laughing at each other’s jokes. Y/N can feel her heart beating like crazy. She never imagined she would be here, doing simple things like eating breakfast with a rockstar, or that they’d get along so well. Especially so soon after having her heart broken. It’s an unfamiliar experience…but it’s a nice, comfortable one all the same. 

As the morning goes on, the rest of the band slowly make their way towards them, and the bus fills with laughter and chatter. Bucky drums a rhythm on the table, and once again Y/N finds herself smiling as she watches him play, and as the others all sing along. Yet, despite how much fun she’s having at that moment, all she can think about is when this tour will be over, and how, when it ends, she’s going to be heartbroken and alone all over again. And she can’t handle that pain. Not again.

She has to limit the risk of heartbreak, wherever possible. 

The next night, Y/N paces around the green room, nervously murmuring to herself. “I can’t do this. I can’t do this. Oh god, they’re gonna hate me.” She wrings her hands together. “Is it too late to go home?”

“Hey, it’s alright Y/N. Calm down. Take deep breaths.” Sam encourages. 

“Yeah, you’ll be fine! You’ve practised more than enough for this. We were nervous our first time too.” Natasha continues, and the others nod. Yet, Y/N shakes her head.

“No. I won’t. It’s a huge crowd, and I’m not good enough.” A figure stands in front of her, gently taking her arms.

“Y/N.” Bucky. “I promise you, you are good enough for this. After all, that’s why we brought you on tour with us, right, guys?” A chorus of agreement fills the room, alleviating her worry slightly. 

“What if they hate me, though?”

“Nobody’s going to hate you. Did you see the reaction we got when we announced you? Everyone is so excited, and you’re going to go out there and kill it, just like you did in rehearsal.” Seeing that she’s still nervous, Bucky leans in slightly closer. “When you’re out there, imagine you’re performing just for us, like before. Think you can do that?” He asks.

“I guess….” She murmurs, and Bucky smiles. 

“Good girl. Want us to walk down to the stage with you?” He asks, and she nods. When the time comes, the band does exactly that, reassuring her the whole way there. As she waits for the song before she goes out to finish, Y/N takes deep breaths. She registers someone squeezing her hand, and Bucky whispers in her ear. “Don’t worry. Just like you practised. We’ll be right here, watching.” Y/N nods.

And then, it’s time, and Y/N steps onto the stage. Immediately, she launches into her first song. To her surprise, most of the crowd seems to know it, and she can see the people in the first few rows singing along and dancing. Even those who don’t know her look like they’re having a good time. And the same things happen with the second song. And the next song. The crowd seems to love her. 

After a few songs, Y/N takes a minute to have a drink.

“Hey guys! I’m Y/N.” The crowd cheers, and she can’t help but smile. “Some of you may know this, but this is my first actual show on an actual tour, and what a fucking amazing crowd and band to start my tour life with!” More cheers. “So thank you all, but especially thank you to The End of the Line!” She glances to the side of the stage, catching the eyes of the band. All four grin, giving her a thumbs up. Y/N smiles proudly. “This next song is called Crimson. Sing along if you know it.”

Y/N’s set goes by both quicker and better than she expected. As she gets closer to the end of her set, the band leaves to finish getting ready for their own set. However, Y/N doesn’t mind. She already feels more confident than she did at the beginning. As she finishes up her last song, she calls out: “Thank you all so fucking much! I’m gonna be hanging out at the merch table over there for a bit if you wanna come say hi or tell me I was shit. Fuck it, you guys bought the tickets.” She giggles. “Goodnight!”

When she makes it to the merch stand, Eddie hands her a beer, which she almost downs. “Damn girl.” Eddie praises. “That was fucking awesome!”

“You think?”

“Uh, yeah! The crowd loved you. We’ve sold a bunch of your merch already.” She gasps.

“You’re kidding.” He shakes his head, gesturing to something behind her. Y/N turns around to see some girls standing there, staring at her all wide eyed. “Oh sorry. Am I in your way for merch? Just tell me to move. It’s okay.”

“You were amazing! I love your music so much.” One of them grins, holding out her ticket and a sharpie. “Can you sign my ticket, please?” Y/N’s mouth drops open. She wasn’t actually expecting people to want to meet her.

“And mine!” The others chorus.

“T-Thanks!” Still slightly in shock, Y/N nods, signing each ticket and taking pictures with each of them. Soon, a few more fans come to see her, and still amazed, Y/N repeats the cycle. This is her first ever meet and greet, the first time people actually like her.

“Have a good night!” She calls as they go back towards the crowd. “Did that just happen, or am I fucking dreaming?!” she asks Eddie, who laughs.

“I told you. They love you.”

During The End Of The Line’s set, Y/N stands side stage watching them, smiling and singing along to every song as the crowd laps it up, screaming every word back to them. They’re such incredible performers. Maybe one day, that’ll be her, selling out venues across the country. She glances out on the stage, watching as the band plays. Natasha jumps around, her red hair swinging around wildly. Sam and Steve lean against each other as they play their guitars, smiling and joking with each other. And then, she sees Bucky, drumming furiously, his arms moving rapidly. He throws his hands up into the air, twirling his drumsticks between his fingers. Once the song ends, he runs his hand through his hair, strands sticking to his sweaty forehead. Breathlessly, he smiles, mouthing a thank you to the crowd. Y/N feels her breath hitching in her throat. He looks so gorgeous, a true rockstar. 

In an ideal world, one where she and her love life aren’t so broken, they’d probably be together. But there’s no way that can happen. She can see how the girls in the crowd look at him and the others. If he has the pick of any girl he wants, why would he ever go for her?

After all, she’s just an opener. Feeling her heart sinking, Y/N sighs sadly. With one last look at Bucky, she turns and walks back to the green room.

After their set, the band comes back to the green room. To her surprise, though, they’re not talking about their set…they’re talking about hers. “I knew it! You were perfect!” Natasha squeals. “We’re so proud of you!”

“And Eddie told us about your meet and greet. The fans love you.” Sam praises. Before Y/N can say anything, the band envelopes her in a group hug. The overwhelming love and support shown to her throughout the night suddenly reaches a head. Immediately, tears come to her eyes, and soon, Y/N begins crying.

“Oh god, sorry was it too much? We can be a lot, so if you’re uncomfortable, just tell us, sweetheart.”

“No! I’m just…not used to all this, to being shown so much support all at once.” She murmurs, and a chorus of “awww!” fills the room.

“Trust us.” Natasha smiles. “You deserve it.”

“Welcome to touring life Y/N! As a celebration, I say we go get food. My treat.” Steve grins.

“Wow, you’re paying? That’s new. You should savour this experience Y/N.” Sam teases, and the group dissolves into laughter. As she looks around at the band, her new friends who changed her life, Y/N smiles, already feeling her anxieties beginning to melt away slightly.

“Come on then. Let’s go.”

“That was so good. And it tasted even better since I didn’t pay.” Sam grins, and Y/N laughs. 

“Shove off. It’s your turn next time.” Steve replies. As Sam, Steve and Natasha walk on ahead, Bucky falls into step beside her. Right away, she can feel her heart rate beginning to increase.

“I’ve eaten so much, I’m surprised I’m still able to walk.” She murmurs, and Bucky laughs. 

“Yeah, I feel that. We go there every time we’re here, and every time I eat too much too. Join the club.” Y/N looks up, glancing at the stars. She used to wish on them every night, hoping someone would discover her, and that she might actually have a shot at making music, the thing she loves, her job. And now, here she is. Maybe dreams come true after all. “So.” Bucky begins, drawing her focus back to him. “Is there anywhere on this tour you’re most excited to go to?” 

“I don’t really know. In all honesty, this whole thing and getting to tour the country is still mind blowing to me. I’m happy to go anywhere.” Smiling, Bucky nods. 

“Yeah, I was the same when we first started out. You’ll still pinch yourself, even when you get as famous as us. And I have every faith you’ll get there.” Y/N gasps. It’s strange, how he’s so much more famous than her, and yet he still talks to her and treats her like he’s his equal. He really is one of the kindest people she knows. Her stomach twists in knots. And that’s going to make leaving him even more difficult. “I’m most excited to be back in New York, though. Even though I moved away, hometown shows are always the best.”

“You’re from New York too? Same!” Bucky smiles. Her eyes trace along Bucky’s jawline, illuminated by the streetlights. He looks so beautiful. She feels Bucky’s hand brushing against hers, and her heart rate increases.

If dreams do come true...she has an idea for a new one.

“Really? That’s awesome. You know, there’s a really great Italian restaurant I go to all the time whenever I’m there. Maybe we could go.” Y/N suppresses a laugh. She’d love that more than anything, but deep down, she knows he doesn’t really mean it. It’s just him trying to be nice. He’ll forget about her when all of this is over. They all will. And she can’t even blame them for it. Sighing, she nods.

“Yeah. That’d be nice.” 

As the tour continues, Y/N’s confidence continues to grow. Each night, she becomes more and more excited to go on stage. And in turn, she becomes more confident around the band, and spends more time with them, whether it’s writing songs together, shopping with Natasha, or hanging out with Sam and Steve. Basically, her touring life is perfect…aside from one little thorn in her side.

Bucky Barnes.

It’s not that Bucky has been horrible to her, not at all. In fact, he’s been the same kind and welcoming person he’s always been. That’s the problem. He’s so kind that it’s hard to not get close to him, or to want to spend time with him. Especially since she can already feel herself falling deeper in love with him with every passing day. Each time she has to pull away, Y/N feels terrible. 

“So.” Natasha smirks one day whilst they’re out shopping. “When are you gonna put that poor boy out of his misery?” When Y/N raises a brow, Natasha rolls her eyes. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I mean! Bucky is so clearly whipped for you, and you’re obviously into him. I can see it all over you.” She grins. Y/N gulps. Despite how happy she is to know that Bucky might feel the same way about her, this is the last thing she wanted to happen. 

“Nothing is going to happen Nat. And you don’t even know if that’s true.” She points out. Natasha says something in reply, but Y/N doesn’t hear it. All she can think about is how big of a problem this is, and how she’s going to have to break Bucky’s heart even more. Of course, the idea of just telling him the truth and admitting her feelings has crossed her mind a few times. Yet, despite how much she wants to do that, and to stop letting her fear and Dylan ruin her new chance at happiness…she’s too afraid to admit the truth, and to drag Bucky into her mess. Or to lose him, and be heartbroken all over again. And this time, it’ll hurt even more than it did with Dylan.

As soon as they get back, Y/N enters the bus, shutting the door behind them. She climbs into her bunk. Angrily throwing the pillow across her bunk, Y/N grabs her phone. Hopefully, scrolling through social media will make her feel better. And at first, it works as posts from her fans fill her feed. She likes and comments on a few, continuing to scroll. As Y/N reads their words, a smile grows on her face. She’s so lucky to have her fans and their support. But then, another post appears. One of her ex and her ex-best friend. Immediately, her heart sinks. They’re still together, smiling like nothing happened, acting like they haven’t left a trail of destruction in their wake and ruined her life. She’s sitting here, terrified of getting too close to Bucky and the others in case she gets hurt like that again. And the people who did it to her in the first place don't even care. They never did.

Angrily, Y/N grips her blanket, grabbing her songwriting notebook and opening it.

It’s about time she lets out her emotions.

“Is Y/N okay?” Sam asks the next morning, after they arrive in New York. “I didn’t see much of her last night, and she shut herself away as soon as we got to the venue.” Bucky furrows his brow, concern flooding his features. Y/N barely spoke to anyone, only a few words here and there. Natasha shrugs.

“She said she’s busy writing, and she doesn’t want to be disturbed. I guess we’ll find out when her new song comes out.” That makes Bucky even more concerned. He knows all about being in a deeply focused, creative headspace, and how you don’t want to speak to anyone until it’s done. But he also knows how bad it can be when you shut yourself away for so long, especially when she already looks so upset. He’ll have to check on her when he gets the chance.

Yet, the next time he sees Y/N is when she’s getting ready to go on and is in a rush. 

“Are you sure you’re alright? We were worried about you.” He asks, watching as she runs around the room, spraying hairspray and perfume everywhere. 

“Yeah, I’m good. Much better.” She insists, reapplying her lipstick in the mirror and giving herself one last check over. “Right, I gotta go. Talk soon, yeah?”

“But-” Bucky begins, cut off by Y/N placing her hand on his arm.

“Bucky, trust me. I’m okay. Bye!” And then she’s gone, leaving the scent of perfume in her wake. Despite his concern, Bucky chuckles. She sure is something. Tonight, she looks like an angel, glitter covering her lids and outfit. She looks beautiful. But she always does. This entire tour, he’s been trying to find the guts to tell her the truth about how he feels, with no luck. And the way she always turns him down or pulls away at the last second makes him think she doesn’t feel the same. Turning, Bucky follows her down towards the stage. 

Although, if she doesn’t feel the same way, he’d understand. When he gets to the side stage, Y/N is already on, in the middle of her first song. Bucky watches her as she works through her first few songs, smiling. The way she controls and interacts with the crowd is incredible, much better than he could ever do.

“Well, hello New York!” Y/N shouts into the mic, the ending of her sentence being drowned out by screams and cheers. “You guys are fucking awesome. Thank you so much!” Another round of cheering sounds, and Y/N grins, the lighting illuminating her teeth and the glitter she’s wearing. Bucky watches, smiling. “Are you guys excited for The End of The Line?” The crowd goes wild again, and Y/N laughs. “That was probably a stupid question.”

“I wanna try something new with you guys, if that’s okay.” She continues, and Bucky raises a brow. “But it means I have to tell you a story too…. Oh, I can see complete excitement on your faces, so I won’t talk too long then.” She jokes, laughing. And then, Bucky realises he’s laughing too. “So a few months ago, just before The End of The Line invited me on their tour, my boyfriend dumped me over text.” The crowd immediately starts booing, whilst Bucky raises an eyebrow. She never mentioned this. “I know! But unfortunately, it’s not just that, New York. He told me he was dumping me for one of my best friends. The same friend he was cheating on me with for the last few months of our relationship. Apparently, me playing shows was too much for him to handle, and I’d never be famous, so he had to think of his future with a girl who ‘knows what she’s doing, instead of just a bar singer’ like me.” The boos intensify, and Y/N nods, clutching a hand to her chest. “I know! At first, I let his words get to me. Look at me now, though!” The crowd cheers, and Y/N grins. “So, I put all my pain and anger into a song, and I’d like to perform it for the first time for you guys. Is that cool with you?!” The crowd goes wild, and Y/N grins, tuning her guitar. “Okay, okay! I hear you loud and clear. If you’ve ever had to deal with a shitty person in your life, I hope this song speaks to you as much as it does to me…and that you tell them to go fuck themselves.” She smirks, and Bucky laughs. “This song is called Letting You Down.” 

As the song plays, Y/N sings with more passion and fury than Bucky has ever seen. She controls the crowd masterfully, having them hanging onto every word she sings. For only just starting out, she really is a natural. Yet, her admission replays through his mind. Hearing how poorly she was treated infuriates him. Y/N’s such a talented and good-hearted person, and she doesn’t deserve that. Her ex obviously has no idea what he’s talking about. Although going through all that may explain why she’s been pulling away from him so much, and so nervous about being on tour. Y/N needs to know how talented and loved she is. And if she doesn’t, he’ll tell her every day.  

After Y/N’s set, Bucky waits in the green room for her. When she walks in and sees Bucky sitting there, her eyes widen. “Aren’t you meant to be on stage in like five minutes?” She frowns. Bucky shakes his head.

“That’s not important right now. I need to talk to you.” Her face falls.

“You heard, didn’t you?” He hates how small and ashamed her voice sounds, like he’d be mad at her for admitting the truth. Bucky nods, stepping closer.

“I did, listen Y/N, I-”

“Buck, come on, we have to go!” Steve calls, poking his head through the door. Bucky doesn’t even care. He just wants to be with Y/N. “Buck!” Steve repeats.

“You need to go!” Y/N insists.

“But-”

“Bucky. Go. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” She promises, gently pushing him towards the door.

Throughout the entirety of their set, all Bucky can do is think of Y/N, and the things he needs to say to her. Things he’s wanted to say to her from the beginning. The second their set is finished, Bucky runs backstage. Y/N sits in the green room, anxiously fiddling with her thumbs. 

“Y/N.” He smiles, breathless. She looks up at him, her face falling. Bucky’s heart sinks. He hates seeing her so upset. “Can I sit?” She nods. “Y/N, I-”

“Look Bucky.” She sighs, finally cutting him off. “You’re incredibly sweet and all, but I just can’t commit to a relationship right now.” She sighs. “You heard the story about my heartbreak, right?” He nods. “Well, I can’t put myself through that pain again. I can’t give my all to somebody and receive nothing in return, I’m sorry.”

“Y/N, he sounds like a dick. And I promise you, not everyone is like that.” 

“It’s not just that.” She murmurs, staring down at the ground. “I know you’re a good person, Bucky. Fuck, I see it in you every day. You’re one of the sweetest guys I know, and I don’t want to think you’d ever hurt me like that. That’s why I’ve been pulling away from you, so neither of us get hurt. Yet, I hurt us both. Honestly, I think I’ve been in love with you ever since we met, and I do want to be with you. But what happens when this tour is over? When the fairytale is over, and we go back to our normal lives, whatever they are now? Sure, we’re musicians, but we come from two totally different worlds. And I don’t fit into your world.” She sighs. Bucky raises a brow, shuffling closer towards her. “Maybe Dylan’s right. Maybe I am just a bar singer.” Bucky gets up from his seat, kneeling in front of her. He takes her hands in his, rubbing his thumbs along her knuckles.

“Y/N. You are one of the most beautiful and talented people I’ve ever met. We could only dream of being able to control and entertain a crowd like you can. Especially tonight!” He insists. “And besides, there’s nothing wrong with being a bar singer, especially when they’re as good as you. Your ex has no idea what the fuck he’s talking about.” As she gazes into Bucky’s eyes, Y/N feels tears building in her own. 

“I want to be with you more than anything. I just can’t. I can’t risk being hurt again.” She whispers. Bucky feels his heart breaking, but he knows he can’t force her to do anything. And so, he nods.

Suddenly, the door opens, and Natasha pops her head in. At first, Bucky expects her to say something about how they’re going out for dinner or something. Yet, as soon as she sees the serious look on Natasha’s face, Y/N frowns. “Nat? What’s going on?”

“Y/N, there’s someone here to see you. He insists he knows you, and even tried to bribe our door staff to let him into the venue. Says he won’t go until you hear him out.” Immediately, Bucky tenses from beside her, and Y/N’s stomach drops. 

“Did he leave a name?” But she knows who it is before Natasha even confirms it.

“It’s Dylan.” Her entire body goes stiff. It feels like someone dumped a whole bucket of ice cold water all over her, plunging her into a horrible nightmare. 

“Wait, Dylan as in ‘Letting You Down’ Dylan? Your ex who treated you like shit?” Bucky asks, and Y/N nods, still numb. “Where is he?”

“He’s in the dressing room. The guys just shoved him in there.” 

“Oh, fuck.” Y/N hisses, already beginning to feel herself hyperventilate. 

“Y/N, we can tell him to go.” Bucky offers. To his surprise, Y/N shakes her head.

“No. I need to do this. I need to tell him myself.” She gulps. Bucky can tell she’s absolutely terrified. “I might need some moral support, though.” She admits, her eyes glancing down at the floor. Bucky finds her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“Of course.” He whispers.

When Y/N and the rest of the band enter the room, Dylan turns around. As soon as he sees Y/N, he grins. Immediately, Bucky hates him. His grin looks smug, and the way he looks at Y/N makes him feel sick. If he could, he’d punch that asshole right in his smug fucking face.

“What the hell are you doing here?” She gasps.

“Wow, I just didn’t realise you were serious about this whole thing!” Dylan muses, looking around the room. “When I saw you online and on TV, I knew I had to come see you…and talk about what happened. Tell you what, why don’t we go get some drinks or some dinner, and we can just…talk it out?” Dylan whispers, reaching out to stroke her arm. The same way he used to when he was trying to get back on her good side, hoping she’d ignore all the cruel things he’d say about her and her career. Reflexively, Y/N steps back, away from him.

“Oh, so you only care about her once she’s getting more attention?” Bucky demands, earning a sharp jab in the ribs from Natasha.

“Bucky.” she hisses.

“What? He doesn’t give a shit about her or her career at first, but when he sees how popular she is and how he’s probably being blasted all over social media for rightfully being called out, he suddenly cares?” Dylan scoffs, rolling his eyes. 

“Buddy, this doesn’t concern you.” Y/N’s heart sinks. Bucky’s right. Dylan doesn’t care about her at all. He’s only here to save his ass.

“Actually, it concerns all of us, buddy. We’re her friends, and we actually give a shit about her, unlike you.” Bucky snaps back.

“Can we have some alone time now?” Dylan asks, his eyes narrowing as he looks at Bucky. For a moment, Y/N almost says yes, wanting to just get rid of him as soon as possible with no further trouble. That is, however, until she glances back, ready to tell the band to do as he asks. The entire band looks pissed off, but Bucky is seething. He stands with his arms folded as he glares at Dylan. They’re the ones who care about her and her career. Not Dylan. And then, Y/N realises what she has to do. 

“No. They stay.” She states. Dylan’s brows furrow. 

“But Y/N, sweetie-”

“Don’t call me that. You lost the right to call me that a long time ago. And you have no right to come here unannounced and start making demands, especially after what you did. I want them here, so they’re staying.” She folds her arms. “Now. What do you want?” When he sees he isn’t getting his way, Dylan splutters.

“I just don’t see why you had to make such a big deal out of it, that’s all! And besides, I was just thinking about calling you before I heard the song, anyway. It would be nice to talk again.”

“Oh, you were, were you? Well, you sure have impeccable timing, don’t you? And besides, I know that’s a lie because as far as I know, you were with your girlfriend last night. Have you told her you want to start talking to me again?” 

“Y/N, come on, don’t be like that. I’m trying to apologise. You always were so dramatic. It’s obvious I didn’t mean everything I said.”

“And yet ‘sorry’ isn’t the first word that came out of your mouth.” She hears sniggering in the background, which only spurs her on further. “And it’s not being dramatic. It’s called standing up for yourself and realising that you’ve treated me like shit for as long as I can remember, and I’m tired of it. If you think I’m coming back to you so you can do it again, you’re dumber than I thought you were. So, you can take your apology and shove it up your ass.” Dylan’s eyes widen, and he splutters again. In a way, it’s funny seeing the man who treated her like shit be unable to handle her sticking up for herself. “Now, go.”

“I’d advise you listen to her and fuck off before we call security. Trust us, you don’t want that.” Sam warns. Dylan tries to argue back, but when he sees he isn’t getting anywhere, he groans, beginning to leave.

“Bitch.” He murmurs as he walks by. Bucky, Sam and Steve follow him out, making sure he leaves while Natasha stays with Y/N. 

“That was incredible! You really gave that asshole what he deserved.” She grins. Y/N doesn’t feel incredible though. In fact, she feels like shit. After being on such a high from the concert and finally letting her emotions out in song, suddenly being confronted with Dylan and being reminded of just how little he cares about her is breaking her all over again. Her bottom lip trembles and her vision blurs. Shit.

“I’m sorry Nat, I-I have to go. I’ll be on the bus if you need me. I just. I need to be alone.” She stammers, her words coming out in a rush. She doesn’t even give Natasha time to reply before she hurriedly leaves the venue and climbs back onto the bus, crawling into her bunk and huddling into the corner. As soon as she knows it’s safe, her tears are unleashed, and she shakes as tears stream down her cheeks. She wraps her blanket around her, hoping it hides her from the world.

Y/N lays there for what feels like hours until the door to the bus opens again. “Who is it?” She calls, her voice croaky. 

“It’s just me.” Bucky replies. As soon as she hears his voice, it feels like a weight has been lifted off of Y/N’s shoulders, and she lets out a breath of relief. “I know you said you want to be alone, but we just want to make sure that you’re okay.” She turns around, looking into the pair of blue eyes she knows so well. The pair belonging to the man she loves. When he sees her tear-stained face, Bucky sighs. “Oh, Y/N.” She holds out her arms, and without another word, Bucky climbs in beside her, wrapping his tattooed arms around her still shaking form. 

He lets her cry into his chest for as long as she needs, rubbing her back and whispering comforting words into her ear. “It’s okay. He’s gone. We got rid of him.”

“I’m sorry.” She hiccups. Bucky looks down at her, frowning.

“Y/N, you have nothing to be sorry for.” Yet, she sniffles, nodding.

“I do. I care about you so much. You’re so kind to me, and I’d love to be with you. In all honesty, it’s all I’ve ever wanted. But I ruined everything between us because of him.”

“You haven’t ruined anything, sweetheart.” Bucky soothes. “You’ve been through a lot, and nobody would judge you for being wary about dating again.” He kisses her head, his stubble lightly grazing her skin. Y/N feels that same flutter in her stomach again, this time amplified. He finds her hand again, intertwining his calloused fingers with hers once more. He brings her hand to his lips, kissing it softly. “It’s going to be big and scary, but we can take things as slow as you want. All I want is for you to be happy and comfortable.” And as she looks back up at him, Y/N realises that he’s right. Maybe she shouldn’t be scared, and actually let herself be happy again, with someone like Bucky.

“Okay.” She nods. Bucky smiles, softly kissing her on the lips. 

“How about I take you out tomorrow? Properly.”

“Where do you wanna go?” Bucky smiles, chuckling slightly.

“Well, we’re in New York, aren’t we? Like I said…I know a restaurant.”

Please follow @onceuponastory-library​ and turn on notifications to be notified when I next post!

[desire-mona]

DESIRE-MONA TAG GUIDE:

tag directory for all my posts

(tagged reblogs began 07/09/24,(almost) all reblogs before then are not tagged)

italics - you can scroll through these to learn about me

bold - i think this stuff is cool and you should check it out

red - this is important

new tag development!! i will be tagging the song im currently listening to (if any) in text posts just cuz i think its fun. i like to sort things (i am autistic)

as i do not wanna type out all that shit, here is my airbuds

text posts

#desire mona - all of my original posts

#media - all posts with photos, videos, links, music, etc

#thoughtsing - posts that dont have to do with a specific fandom or i dont want to fill up a fandom tag for

#ask - all of my asks

#blows up procreate headquarters - my art

#mona internet factoids - my posts about internet history and the like

#chaos dreaming - dreams (may use this for rbs as well)

#get desired - i turn ppls pfps into my pfp

#imagine - desire-mona rpf, directly ripped from @house-md-imagines

#certified creeker - posting about nickel creek without taking up the nickel creek tag but so ppl can still go thru and read all my posts abt them

#banger - my favourite posts

!!!ALL FANDOM RELATED TEXT POSTS ARE TAGGED WITH THE RESPECTIVE FANDOM'S MAIN TAG, SAME GOES WITH CHARACTERS!!!

(in the gloaming tag guide: #in the gloaming - main tag, #gloamposting - reblogs and posts that i dont want to take up the main tag but also its a good contender for a hypothetical fandom tag?, #danny gloaming - posts specifically about the boy)

reblogs

#mona rb - reblogging my own posts

#answer - my asks i send other ppl

#what the fuck (car) - memento

#dps - dead poets society

#spider - spiderverse

#house rb - house md

#reasons i should stay - community

#remember damage - station eleven

#its pink and yellow - smiling friends

#rtc - ride the cyclone

#despite everything - undertale / deltatune / toby fox

#rsl - robert sean leonard (not all posts about characters he plays are included)

#roan - chappell roan

#ay oh - queen

#dnp - dan and phil

#the ska - tomska

#chris fleming mentioned - self explanatory

#dont go here - fandoms im not part of

#misc - textposts

#libposting - stuff about economics and politics (I AM NOT A LIBERAL)

#artistry - fanart, original art, art

#look - cool stuff

#musing - writing/poetry

#shes in fashion - clothes

#language - linguistics

#home - not telling

#posts that make me look at zeth - shifting lol

#palestine - news about palestine/ fundraisers

#attention - important text posts/ signal boosting/ etc

#animalia - animals

#posts that remind me of my sista - mice

#poll rb - polls

#tag prompt - "reblog with xyz"

#ha(i)te - posts about how shitty ai is

#muskification - posts abt elon hate or faulty tech or whatever. the like

#bean soup - reading comprehension

#nice - good news

#gender moodboard - self explanatory

#shut up - save

#luv my mutuals - general tag for mutual appreciation

SPECIFIC MUTUALS HAVE TAGS AS WELL, LOOK FOR THEM ON POSTS THAT INCLUDE THEM. MUTUAL TAGS INCLUDE MY TEXTPOSTS IN REFERENCE TO THEM, MY TEXTPOSTS IN RESPONSE TO THEM/ REBLOGGING THEM, OR POSTS THAT REMIND ME OF THEM.

lore

[pansysgothgf]

The Buddie Grey’s Anatomy AU I wrote is done so here’s the rest of my moodboards for it + the rambling thoughts I have about the characters :)

Hen!! Hen’s the character I was the most excited about but also the character I feel like I did the least with because as much as I adore Cristina, so many of her plot points in the show seemed to revolve around her truly horrific boyfriends/fiancés/husbands. My hatred of Owen Hunt runs deep, so Karen ended up being partially inspired by Burke. I ended up mostly focusing on Hen and Buck becoming friends, but I do wish I got to spend a little more time on her :(

I ended up sharing Bailey’s plot lines and character between Maddie and Chim, which I’m pretty happy with tbh! My favourite scene to write with them was actually the first one of theirs I wrote for this fic, which was my whumptober submission that ended up being a chunk of chapter two. While they’re mostly based after Bailey, Maddie also reminded me a little bit of Jo (both of them surviving abusive husbands) and I gave her one of April’s plot lines in the final chapter, which was exciting! I did briefly consider incorporating Lexi, Molly or Maggie’s plot lines in for Maddie (the whole ‘secret sibling’ thing) but it just didn’t work with the way I set it up.

LUCY MY LOVE!! I became so unintentionally attached to Lucy while writing this so she got WAY more plot than I was initially intending haha! There’s something so magical about watching the first few seasons of Grey’s and seeing the dynamic between all of the roommates, which I tried really hard to incorporate into the fic. Then I realized I’d become attached to Lucy and Ravi and went… oh shit I’m going to have to actually give them plots rip. I had so much fun choosing which Izzie plots to give to Lucy since Izzie has some really amazing stuff to work with in the show. I ended up going with the two biggest plots (imo). Because I changed so much though, I ended up combining Izzie’s cancer plot line and Amelia’s brain tumour to create what I ended up with. I’m pretty happy with it, honestly, I hope I built it up sufficiently enough :)

Ravi!!! Ravi is what people wish George O’Malley could’ve been. As I’ve previously stated, I do not like the majority of Grey’s men, and this includes George. I ended up focusing mostly on George’s issues with confidence and his complicated relationship with his family. I also elected not to go the bus route with Ravi, you’re all welcome. Fun fact! I made Lena the orthopaedic surgeon because my biggest crack ship in all of 9-1-1 is Lena/Ravi. I headcannon them to be a lesbian and a gay man but they match each other’s freak, and they’re both just as surprised about it as anyone.

Honourable mentions (aka characters I want to yap about but didn’t make moodboards for):

Shannon: I based Shannon off of Addison Forbes-Montgomery-Shepherd SPECIFICALLY because of the season 1 finale. They’re both the secret wives that show up and create chaos which I love lol. I specifically left Shannon’s ending pretty ambiguous, mainly because I don’t know if she would’ve stuck around had she lived in 9-1-1. If we’re going off of Grey’s though, she’s living her best life in LA with a group of friends who she cares a lot about. I like to think that at some point Chris reaches out (probably when he’s a lot older) and they create a tentative relationship.

Tommy: I gave Tommy elements of both Mark Sloan and Owen Hunt (just his position at the hospital because seriously, fuck Owen Hunt). I decided on Tommy as Mark before Season 7 started airing which is WILD because I basically flipped a coin between him and Sal, but went with Tommy since he showed up to fly the plane in season 2. I wrote him and Buck kissing after Buck, Bothered and Bewildered though lol! I don’t really think about what happens to Tommy after the ending of the fic, although it’s definitely not what happened to Mark. Seeing as Owen doesn’t exist in this world, neither does the plane crash <3

Ok that’s it thanks for coming to my ted talk :)

[jovenshires]

💛Smoshblr December Asks Final Day💙

We‘ve done it! We’ve finally reached the end of this lil ask game and also the end of 2023! 🥳 Thank you so much for joining in on this, I truly appreciate it so much 🫶! I wish you a wonderful start into the new year and that all your hopes and dreams for 2024 will come true! ✨💞

But, since the year isn’t quite over yet, I thought this might be a nice time to reminisce a little bit. Therefore, the final question of the Smoshblr December Asks Game:

What are your favourite smosh-related memories of 2023? 💖

(no specific amount required for this one; and you can ofc also include older smosh memories, if you want to 🤗)

oh my god........ im emotional fr. this was so, so, SO much fun and stella, i will speak for EVERYONE you sent these asks to when i say that we are all so grateful to YOU for organizing it. you brought the community together in such an amazing way, asking us thought-provoking and interesting questions, a lot of which i never would have thought to ask. and yet i got to learn all my mutuals' answers anyway!!! it made me feel like i really got to know everyone, even the people im too scared to start a convo with bc i am a Coward. i love you, we all adore you, thank you SO much, and i cant wait to see where smoshblr goes in the new year now that we are all closer than ever <3<3<3<3<3

okay so...... okay okay okay okay HERE we go. im gonna put it under the cut bc this got SO long but if you want a tl;dr summary, please by all means go check out this video i made at the beginning of the month bc. it sums it up tbh.

making all of my amazing friends: i am literally. an emotional wreck just thinking ab this. anyway. i've already been sappy enough this year (from my christmas presents to my many many personal posts and asks that are just. me talking about how much i love these people), but i would still be remiss if i didn't mention my beautiful, wonderful friends. im not gonna tag them all here - it'd be too many and you all know who you are <3<3<3 - but to everyone i've dmed for hours on end, or talked to in replies, or mutuals i've never even spoken to at all, or anons who come into my askbox and just have the most wonderful interactions with me, i am so, so eternally grateful. i made new friends; i reconnected with one of my best friends in the WHOLE world; i met some people who i never would have spoken to otherwise and found such an incredible community. i love you all so so SO much (yes ALL of you even if you think im not talking ab you if you're reading this i AM), and i am so excited to see what happens with all of us next. love you all. mwah. <3

domo day/my birthday: oh my god. OHHHH my god. literally the fic that brought me back to this fandom. i am not crying its fine im FINE. domo - aka dancing on my own - was a passion project from the very start. i thought, 'well, no one will wanna read this niche lil fic that im writing just to deal with My very personal trauma about an rpf ship that no one cares about.' (mind you i started it before i even posted right side, so, like, i literally thought it was just me standing on a deserted island.) and then five or six months later... there we were. i posted it on my birthday (bc i Live for drama !) and god. the amount of love and support i got that day was... everything to me. when i said this was a passion project, i mean that it was truly one of the first things i sat down and wrote For Myself, without giving a fuck what anyone else would think. it was something i poured my heart and soul into because i needed to read it. and when other people started to reach out - telling me how much they related, how much they got from it, how much it meant to them. then there was the analyses of it from everyone,,,, not to mention the birthday love. my birthday is a HUGE thing for me, and, as i told you at the time, you were the very first person to wish me a happy birthday stella (with that incredible moodboard that i think of frequently........ the rat.........). and then kit went and published bad idea and gifted it to ME which was such an incredible and treasured gesture and... truly some of my irls forgot to wish me a happy birthday so. im just so honored and i love you all so much. thank you for loving me and my dearest darling daughter domo <333333

shaynse day: this literally isn't even about me, it's honestly about nat, but this changed my brain chemistry and i think everybody's tbh. it was the way that the MOMENT the love is blind video dropped, we all gathered around my blog to hold hands, sing kumbaya, and all hail the shaynse anon (aka now shaynse founder nat). they had their third eye OPEN. and everyone had to come check on them to make sure they were okay. that meant so much to me. not only did it mean that enough people were reading my blog that an anon had their own niche subset of a fan base, but it was truly like. one of the best displays of fandom togetherness i've ever seen. we were all so united that day. god bless november 19th, aka shaynse day, my FAVORITE national holiday.

gedits: i really Dont think i have to explain this one. this is one of my favorite bits (but also its not really a bit and i genuinely wanna fuck that old man). making thirst traps for garrett? oh my god. stroke of actual genius. once again another day we all came together, held hands, and decided we were ALL gonna be garrett fuckers. long live gedits. they will never stop and im NOT sorry about it.

the bsf fan art: i have literally never had fan art made for my fic before...... i screamed and cried and threw up when someone made fan art for the bed-sharing fic. furry-jackson is my hero and this fan art lives in my mind RENT FUCKING FREE. it truly imprinted itself on my brain and i think about it all the time. thanks so much to them for loving i could be the reason as much as i do <3333

the top ten dynamics poll: !!!!! my baby!!!! i truly thank you all so much for indulging me by voting in that silly lil poll. it was so SO interesting to see the way the dynamics stacked up. not to mention, it also got me into gif-making again!! that was the first time i'd made gifs in ages, especially gifs i was proud of. but i love that silly lil gif series so much, one of my favorite projects of the year, so thank you all <3

smoshblr december asks: i mean. i said it all up top, but it's worth mentioning again. this was so, so, SO much fun, and it must have been such hard work for you, and i am honored that you did all this work for US of all people when you are so busy and talented and working so hard just in like. YOUR LIFE. honestly, this whole section could just be called 'stella,' bc i am so, so grateful for you especially coming into my life this year. whether we're working together on fic or just chatting about our lives or shouting back and forth about why EVERY taylor swift song is in fact a spommy song, i am just so lucky to have you and i love you so, so much. you always tolerate my shenanigans and i am SO incredibly lucky to have you as a friend. anyway. yeah i love you and smoshblr december asks so there.

[trackdntraild]

yo!! i'm kieran (im 20 wsg), im gay and cosmoveric boyflux (he/they/neos), see my pronouns page for my neopronouns list

cringe culture is dead, so i'm gonna be cringe on main!!!!! im a border collie therian and a furry, so im ultra levels of cringe aren't i, fight me

this post is way too FUCKING long so feel free to read this intro and leave it at that idrc i wrote this for me anyways (/hj)

yes i format my page like a 15 year old so what?? i never mentally recovered past middle school anyways

im medically diagnosed with major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, borderline personality disorder, and bipolar 1 disorder........................... ya boi is fucked up god damn (im being medicated for my bipolar but we're workin on the rest trust me)

i post books under the pen name alvin viana !!

by the way fuck the algorithm tumblr can suck my metaphorical dick

if you want to you can send me asks about any of the fandoms im into or ships i like just be wary about sending spoiler content (like endings or other paths) unless i've explicitly posted about it before

i'm not gonna bother listing all my ships bc a lot of them are pretty obvious just bc of these post dividers (saiou is a comfort ship of mine, could you tell?) but feel free to send me other ships (i will judge you harshly for them /j)

so moving on, some of my fandoms include: sonic, danganronpa, stardew valley, cotl, fnaf, vocaloid/sekai, warrior cats, pokemon, anything from hyv (except tot), ninjago, cookie run, promare, my little pony, aphmau, yttd, undertale, space leaper, food fantasy, afterl!fe, mystic messenger, nimona, lackadaisy, murder drones, tadc,

anyways below the cut is some extra misc info you can look at if you want to, mostly just links and other random shit nobody gives a fuck abt (except for me bc im just like that)

yes im a kinnie no i don't care about doubles no i won't tell you my full kin list i'll just randomly drop the fact i kin characters sometimes

if you want a few of the characters i personally idenify with the main ones are kieran from pokemon s/v and freminet from genshin impact (call me kiki and im stabbing you by the way /hj)

some of my other major kins include albedo, wanderer, herrscher of sentience, arlan, kagamine len, ivypool, starlight glimmer, kokichi ouma, surge the tenrec, and lio fotia

i kin more characters those are just the main ones, i'm the worst combination of all your least favourite character tropes!!!!

feel free to ask me about my kins if you want, or ask what kin shift im in idrc, i dont kin shift that much anymore but sometimes i do

i do edits and moodboards sometimes??? i guess?? sometimes i'll make icons or whatever, sometimes i do fancy dividers, hell did you guys know im an artist i do that sometimes too, occasionally i do sprite edits if i feel like it but i'm not that good at replicating artstyles so shrugs, mainly just do ur classic 2018 tumblr edits here

so uh if you want some icons or whatever the fuck else i listed

✨ Feel Free To Send Requests ✨

i don't have much of a blacklist other than don't be weird about ships (so no pr*sh*p stuff) and don't ask for nsfw/gorey stuff

but i do edits pretty rarely so don't expect a lot from me lmaooo

for some reason i also made tags for some of my bs ramblings so stuff usually tagged with .txt is miscellaneous bullshit i post (ocasionally some of my posts are funny, i think)

some, but not all of them, may include: legendary post archive.txt, the brainrot.txt, random.txt, art.txt, psa.txt, save.txt/saves.txt, asks.txt, fave.txt signal boost.txt, promo.txt, random.txt, textingronpa.txt, the journal.txt

most of my personal ramblings go under random.txt but occasionally i add other stuff, so if the tumblr search function allows you to peruse the tags go ahead idrc if you do

in particular my primary tag is 'the journal.txt', as this is where most of my rambling about my novel series go, i've been working on the series since 2015 so i don't like to shut the hell up about it lmfao

a lot of my posts are LONG POSTS, so if you don't wanna see long posts please blacklist the 'long post tw' tag bc that's what i normally tag them as!!! yes, i mean it, ill post them a lot

hey i have a shit ton of ✨ social media ✨ and ✨ miscellaneous bullshit websites ✨ if you wanna check em out, idk why you'd wanna do that tho all my cringeposting is already here

BLUESKY || TOYHOU.SE || MY OFFICIAL WEBSITE REDBUBBLE || FANDOM WIKIA || TWITCH || AO3 SQW || WATTPAD || DEVIANTART  || ARTFIGHT COMICFURY || MAIN YOUTUBE || GAMEJOLT PATREON || POKEFARM || FANDOM YOUTUBE

i've got some accs i'm only leaving up to ward off impersonators so i'm not linking them here but if you want to know what they are idrc if you just ask me through the askbox or whatever

[sugar-and-pearls]

For the "which shipp of mine is your fave" thing:

Im specially fond of Constantine n the Addams family, I think you fit so well in the dynamics and because I think its so FUCKING funny imagining Constantine trying to take care of a child. 10/10.

(Also! In the reblogs of my moodboard for Thatcher you didnt know who he was[which is fine!!!/genuine] and I wanted to let u know hes from Mandella//catalogue. An analogue horror series)

Have a nice day!

--Jeri

Hiya Jerico!! Thank for sending this in - this is one of my favourite games and I'm always so happy when someone responses to it.

I always want to do more stories with my familials, especially the Addams. I'm actually really happy that I manged to finish one of my Addams family stories in time for the Christmas season (see here).

Your right, it is a funny scene to picture. There's a picture, somewhere far back in John's wallet, showing an old photo of a spiky haired twenty year old punk rocker with a a hair haired toddler in baby pink clothes and a dummy firstly in her mouth. Its hidden behind a few other pictures but you can see the cease marks where someone's thumb has brushed against it. Its one of his most treasured possessions.

(thank you! I'm terribly when it comes to characters out of my wheelhouse. )

[teddybeartoji]

mickey baby i hope you're doing so so well!! i'm here to be nosy in your inbox don't mind me!!!

what is miwa's favourite summer activity to do!! what are you and the silliest boy of all time (affectionate) getting up to!!

do you have any pinterest pins of how you imagine mihime to be like? i'm such a sucker for a princess/knight combo and i love the dynamic you've written in your selfship stat post

what is miromi's first date like? i'm giggling a little at the image of the two of you in the grocery store cleaning up your messes

sending allllll the kissies mwah mwah mwah

HII AGAINNN:3333333333 I NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT THESE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN DRIVING ME WILDDDDD LIKE OH MY GODDDD I LOVE THEM ALL SO FUCKING MUCH<33333333333

MIWA SUMMER ACTIVITIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my god he loooves loves loves going to the beach!!!!!!!!!! i try not to complain over it being so fucking warm just bc i know he'll tease me for it lmao he'll wiggle his eyebrows at me and wink while flexing his biceps bc he thinks the mere idea of him being all sweaty and glorious in the sun is enough to join him every single time he wants to go (he is right) i think it's also very important to mention that he does a "slow motion" run every time we're there😭😭😭 baywatch style... (iwaizumi will throw a ball at his head)

oh and yes the other boys are always there too lmao i don't mind it though they're all so funny we get to bully oiks together:333333 during the car ride i'm always sandwiched between him and mattsun.. and oh my god they both take up so much space it's fucking ridiculous i'm just elbowing them for the entirety of the ride lmao ++ we actually go on little roadtrips all together a lot as well!!!!!!!

ANYWAY back on the beach they OBVIOUSLY play volleyball lmao ok so in the post i did say that the au would be where i play volleyball too buuuut in the original one i'm just some guy WHich means that oikawa gets to teach me . sighhhhhhh...... stands behind me and hold my hand together as he shows me how to receive a ball omfg he is very annoying (very hot) whispers into my ear and tries to play cool but if he's taking too long he's gonna be hit by another rogue ball hahsgdhgsahgdahgdhga he's actually such a fucking dork ro i love him so much

but yeah we hang out on the beach like a looot a lot we play ball and we go swimming. oh which reminds me that he's definitely a bit scared of cold water lmao so i have to drag him in every single time aaand i get to tease him too by splashing him mwahahahaha AAAND then we always go and buy smth good to eat after we're all done aand we both usually end up falling asleep on the car ride back home,, with my head on his shoulder and his head on mine it's pretty cute yes we do actually have a few pics like that too bc the other boys are sometimes okay with us being adorable:3333333333333333333

MIHIME ROYALTY AU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i think i will make a proper moodboard for us too now actually bc ooh my godddd i know the second row middle one isn't necessarily a knight/princess thing but it's so perfect for the bratty lil royalty that is my utahime🤭🤭🤭 BUT WAHHHH i love her so dearly she's a little clumsy and gets flustered so easily but still tries to act so tough it's sooooo fucking cute ohhh my goddddd

MIROMI FIRST DATE!!!!!!!!!!!! asghdhgdhgasghdghas the meet-ugly is so funny i love it,, after many times of bumping into each other he's the one to finally ask for my number!!!!!!!!! i think he's the type to blurt things out sometimes not in a bad way but he just want to get it out, he hates it when he starts to overthink anything even a little so he just goes for it. and that's exactly what happened here too. he was still in his suit, buying groceries for the night straight after work while i was there buying ramen lmao and so first we just saw each other in an isle and we made eye-contact and then looked away bc well . look the whole thing is a bit comedic at this point lmao

we somewhat try to avoid each other just for the sake of not making any more messes but in doing so we fail to check behind us and so we end up backing into each other anyway😭😭😭 and that's when he's just like fuck it . so he just apologizes while loosening his tie (😵‍💫) and is like "would you like to go and grab dinner with me?" and he catches me so off guard but he doesn't take it back either and he's so like . HOT? hsdahgghadghasga he's funny and handsome at the same time it takes me a second to really realize what he's asking of me but then i agree anyway bc why the fuck not yk? aaaaand so our first date takes place at like 9pm at some random fast food place where we stuff our faces with some noodles while getting to know each other. the connection is really good btw. like there isn't a single moment where it's awkward or anything we're constantly talking and laughing and we keep on sitting there even after we're done eating too. it feels very comfortable<3333 he compliments my smile and i tease him for being a lawyer lmao telling him that he's very Fancy but he obviously doesn't take it into heart and he just offers to show me his office some day to kind of prove me wrong hehehhee we exchange numbers and we keep in touch by sending each other pics of our cats and yeah it goes veeery very smoothly from there on out!!!!!

AANYWAYYYYY I LOOOOOVE THEM SOOO FUCKING MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! we're all silly together hehehhee oikawa my loserboyfriend and utahime my princess and hiromi my normal guy hgasghdghasghdahs WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN RO TALKING ABT THEM MADE ME SOOO SO FUCKING HAPPY!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!! IN FIVE MINUTES THE SUN WILL BE DELIVERED TO YOU SO PLEASE LMK WHEN IT ARRIVES:3333333333333

[ijustreallylikecaptainamericaok]

How about 4, 5 (Scott), 9, and 16 for the fandom ask game?

Hey! :-)

4. Is there a popular pairing you don't necessarily dislike but aren't too invested in?

Out of the most popular Steve pairings, I'd say ShieldShock. It's not a bad ship by any means. I totally get why people are into it. It just doesn't grab me like that, y'know? Though, oddly enough, I am really into the idea of Steve/Darcy/Wanda. Don't know what that's about, lol.

With MCU in general? Clintasha. Granted, part of this probably comes from being exposed to the MCU first, because nothing about their interactions in The Avengers screamed romance to me and everything after that just solidified that notion. I never understood why folks were so adamant about it being portrayed in the MCU over Bruce/Nat and Clint/Laura until I found out it's a comic thing. Again, not a bad ship, but neither canon version I've seen (MCU and EMH) have done much for me. Though, again, Clint/Laura/Natasha? Totally into.

5. Out of all your fanworks that include [Scott], which is your favourite?

Oh, man, this question has taken me the longest, because I had to go through and reread some stuff. Also, I make so many different things that narrowing it down is a bit tough. Plus, I overthink way too much. Okay. For moodboards, I'd say this Steve/Scott/Hope/Maria one, because it's so pretty to me that I forget I made it, lol. I figure anything that's able to bypass my knee-jerk reaction to be overly critical of my work must have something good going for it. For other graphics, this Scott/Jessica set, which is quite simple, but I really like it.

As for fic, I think overall some of my favorite individual lines and jokes have been written for Scott, such as: "At least I don’t want to fuck a fox, Clint." Though I think my favorite exchange I've written has to be between Scott and Steve in Make Up For Lost Time:

“You’re twice my age!” the brunet sputtered. “More than!”

“Only chronologically,” Steve said, unable to control his shit-eating grin.

“I’ll remember that next time you ask for the senior discount at the movies.” With that, he moved as if to get off of Steve’s lap, but the blond only clutched his hips and plopped him back down with a smile.

“You wouldn’t rat me out, would ya?”

“Course not,” he scoffed. “That shit’s expensive, even with your discount.”

For a full story, I'd say it's a toss-up between The Season of Poultry and Everything Will Turn Out Alright. It's tough to pick a full fic for Scott, since I so often write him from someone else's (usually Steve's) point of view. That, coupled with how my work tends to be pretty short, I think makes it a little hard to maybe get a full picture of Scott. But with those stories, I think (or I'd like to think) they pack a lot in a small space in terms of his characterization and dynamics with others. Plus, I just have a lot of affection for those particular stories.

9. Write a recommendation of someone else's fic you enjoyed!

Do Vibranium Androids Dream of Electric Wandas? by DeconstructedFallenStars on AO3. The summary reads, "He had meant for her to be his Eve." It's a short one-sided Wanda/Ultron fic that takes place toward the end of AOU and is something of a character study of Ultron. I'm probably underselling it, but the execution is very good.

16. Do people irl know you participate in fandom?

Friends do, yes, but not relatives. I don't think they'd really "get" it or approve, if you take my meaning.

Thanks for sending these in! Sorry it took a couple days for me to finish. For whatever reason, my brain really needed the answer to that second question to be thorough. lol.

From Fandom Ask Game

[johaerys-writes]

Hi, I was wondering today how you stay motivated with writing? Like is there anything - you think - that you do that helps with getting the writing juices to flow? Does writing come easier for you at certain times and harder at other times?

Hello anon, your question has come at exactly the right time, i.e. when I'm really struggling with motivation and inspiration ngl 😅 Once again, life has been lifing very hard recently and I've been struggling to catch up with everything, let alone writing. I think that sometimes the best thing you can do is to let things take their course, if the words are absolutely not coming then you can't force them. Resting or doing something else until inspiration comes back is maybe what you need.

But if we're talking about general motivation and how to maintain momentum in order to finish a story, I'm afraid that I don't have any groundbreaking advice other than being consistent. So make writing part of your routine, even if it's a couple hundred words in a sitting. I regularly carve out time to write even when I'm not 100% feeling it, and sometimes that time is taken up by doing research (I will NOT call it procrastinating lmao), rearranging my playlist for the specific fic or just rereading what I've already written and making minor edits. But having this specific time every day or every few days that is dedicated to writing and writing-related things is much better for motivation than the random bout of inspiration that will make you write 5k words in a day. Those are few and far between in my experience.

As for getting the writing juices flowing when I've finally sat down and removed any other distractions: that usually differs from day to day. Most of the time listening to music, a specific song or playlist that I have associated with the story, really helps me get in the groove. For Twin Flames for instance I had the entire Blood Moon album by RY X on repeat, and I still associate it strongly with that world/story. For Disasters, I had a specific song for each chapter and that helped tremendously for getting into the right headspace. If music isn't your thing then maybe you're more of a visual type, so making moodboards on pinterest or somewhere else can really help (it can also be a huge timesuck though LOL so tread carefully). Something else I also do is reading the last chapter I've written and immersing myself into the world and the characters, and that often makes the transition into a new chapter easier.

Another thing that really motivates me is having those scenes in a story that I absolutely have to write, even if it takes me 50k to get to them lol. I think that's what usually pushes me forward especially with longer stories, having those scenes sprinkled out at various points in the story and also making sure that I have something to look forward to towards the end, so that I can make sure to finish them. (e.g. while I was writing the last chapter of Disasters, I made sure to have Patroclus fuck Achilles in a dress at the very end of the fic because it was my reward for getting myself through the absolute heartbreak that it was to finish it 😩 I'd been daydreaming about that scene for ages so I was willing to drag myself through all the rest just to make sure I got that in)

You also asked if writing comes easier to me some times rather than others, and I honestly don't think that I have a specific time of day I usually write. Basically I just write whenever I have time lol. If I have nothing else to do on that day I prefer to write in the evening when there are as few distractions as possible and it's when I'm most relaxed and ready to tackle whatever scene I have in mind. My favourite is when I have the day off and I know that I can write or think about my stories for as many hours as I want, even when I don't end up writing that many words. Writing while on the go (on the bus or the train) is what I've been doing for most of this year and the last because I have a super long daily commute, and I also used to love going to the coffee shop near my house to write, but lately I've been so burned out and struggling with sensory overload that it's been really hard to focus when there's noise or people around me even when I'm wearing headphones. So I basically live for the weekends when I can lock myself in my study and write in complete silence lol.

[midwestclover]

I’ve got an older tumblr, but made this a seperate one and I seen @callivich post so I decided to answer the questions and find more open-minded people! Expand my horizons more, guess you could say!

Name: Howdy! Names Nova :)

Age: Twenty-seven.

What made you fall in love with Gallavich?: They are both able to relate to one another when it comes to having a big family, with dysfunctional tendencies yet that is also something where the pair are extremely different because one family shows far more agression, while the other still shows compassion and love. I loved the idea of the big bad macho dude softening for Ian as time goes on, even despite the fact he wanted to ‘teach a lesson.’ The two of them bring out the worst parts of eachother, mean while are capable of as well bringing out the good even if the other cannot see themselves as such. Their continuous meetups, and fall outs make me think about the whole ‘their souls are bound to another laced by a golden thread.’ Because in the end? They always come crawling back to one another. Also! I love the idea of Mickey showing hate towards the world in the beginning, softens for Ian but through character development Mickey grows. Something wholesome about them together, growing, evolving and changing for better.

How long have you been a fan?: I would say around 2015 I got into Shameless? So, I’d say since then!

Favourite Gallavich moments/scene?: Oh goodness, there are numerous that are rent free in my delulu thoughts. One of them would have to be when Fiona makes the connections of Ian possibly being Bipolar and needing to go into a Psych, but Mickey wants to take care of him. I can only imagine how straining that may have been on the two of them, yet Mickey went ahead and did it anyways. Another scene would have to be Mickey’s coming out. God, there’s just so many to count! I don’t know why, but them parting ways when Mickey crosses the border. There’s just something so special about their kiss and it makes me weak in the best way possible. But their wedding? Never seizes to make me ugly cry!

Favourite Shameless character apart from Ian and Mickey?: Lip, Kevin and Veronica for sure!

Do you write or draw or make edits?: I have been a writer for twelve years, but haven’t been able to make any fanfics for ao3, yet. But my works will likely be posted here, once I get more inspiration. I do also make moodboards, and random edits sometimes! Depends on the mood. But I am a sucker for aesthetics so. I also do roleplay, so there’s that as well.

Favourite type of Gallavich fics?: Still figuring this one out, once I know I’ll be sure to give my input!

Favourite Gallavich quotes?: ‘Ian, what you and I have makes me free.’ - ‘you’re under my skin man, fuck can I do?’ Both by Mickey. ‘Hit my husband again and I’ll fucking kill you’ this one PHEW, because Ian is saying that to Lip—HIS BEST FRIEND AND BROTHER! ‘You are so much better than that.’ Because goddamn. Dare I say more?

[dragon-swords-prophecies]

How about 1, 4, and 9 for the ask game!

hi!! thanks for the ask!!!

1. what was your writing-highlight this year? what made it special and how will you reflect on it next year?

writing highlight of this year was probably herald at dawn. spefifically, winning (half, 25k) nano, which was amazing. but also herald at dawn in general, because its the most words i've ever written on a draft i'm proud of (the original frost & fire was 40k, but it also isn't something my current self is really proud of.) and its, in my opinion, the best plot in terms of fleshed out-ness and character arcs & development & shit

4. what is your favourite line you wrote this year?

defineity this.

“You can’t stick papers in their spines! It falls out. You know what mine can do? Have paper shoved in its spine and paper stays in its spine!"

out of context I think its fucking awesome, but in context i still love it so much. (this is during leo and james' argument about notebooks and which one is better, spiral bound or sewn bound (? is that what its called--), and this is (one of) leo's arguments for why sewn bound notebooks are better.)

9. create a meme or moodboard that captures your past writing-year!

(i then proceeded to get him stabbed)

(pretty much all of my writing year was in novemeber)