#also i think medicine cats would live a bit longer because they don't have to hunt and fight all the time. although older med cats would be

[angsttronaut]

one of the weird things about life expectancies in warrior cats stretching out as the series goes on is that lionblaze is 8 years old with adult grandchildren and showing no signs of age or even retiring, while yellowfang was depicted as old af when she died at the age of 8.

[parsleysagerosemarytimemachine]

Citizen Sleeper

What if Disco Elysium, but in space, and you're an escaped robot instead of a cop?

I just got finished binging through Citizen Sleeper again to play the free DLC stories, and wanted to recommend it here because I think it deserves more love. It's a narrative video game that I think would really appeal to a lot of you - Disco Elysium is a good touchstone, I think, in that it's very much about game mechanical interactions revealing the story, being a stranger in a fascinating and complicated place, questions of identity and belonging, and different forms of struggling communities trying to exist together.

More ramblings about why you should play this below

So first off, it's relatively short - six to eight hours, so it's easy to get the whole story. Mechanically, you're getting a number of dice each 'day' to put into activities, and getting a bit of story back with the results. One of the major themes of the narrative is chronic illness/disability; your robot body is slowly (intentionally) falling apart, and so not only do you have to get money to eat each day, but you have to constantly source the medicine you need to keep yourself together - if you don't, your condition degrades and you have fewer and fewer dice to work with. But this also eats into the time you have for understanding the space station you're on, and making the connections with other people that will get you better opportunities and support when you have a day where all your dice are low and nothing is going to go right. It's a frustrating spiral that will feel very realistic to anyone who's trying to live with a chronic condition. (Although, because it's a game, there's some good hidden tricks it uses to make it feel frustrating without actually locking you out of progress.)

The other characters that you meet in the world are good; there are some longer storylines where you get to know them over the course of events, but also some of my favorites are the ones you see only briefly, but repeatedly - the mushroom seller that kept me fed, the barkeep at the place that I could reliably pick up tips, the stray cat outside the apartment you gradually put together for yourself... you don't have a constant companion, and the game doesn't provide romantic opportunities (because you're a robot? because you're a stranger passing through? because there's only so much writing they could put in?) but there's still some good connections to be made, queer and disabled bodies are everywhere, and if I had one regret for the game, it's that there weren't more ways to spend time with people once their arc of the story had 'closed' but the game was moving on.

And then there's the story itself, about an exploited and abandoned space station, and the ways people try to survive - by exploiting others in turn, by trying to protect themselves and what they have, by escaping to new communities, or just trying to get through the day. It is very much a story that believes the only way we'll make it is by helping each other, but also it's realistic about the obstacles in the way of that. It's very good, and I love the way all the choices you have to make are reflected back by the characters around you.

Anyway yeah, go play Citizen Sleeper - there's a set of free story expansions that came out too, so if you went through when it originally came out, there's a bunch of new fun stuff for you to look for as well! (I do wish some of the systems made more of a reappearance, but also, game design is hard. :)

[kukkakisu]

*sPLODES*

Hello! I’ve been digging around your oc lore and I’m curious, Is Nate gonna be ok? I can’t imagine very slowly being infected by something incurable is all too good for the system, mentally or physically. Does CC notice at all? Does anyone?

Also, I can’t imagine The Conductor is going to be too happy when CC brings his human guardian to the manor one day. I can only imagine that would be, at the very least, very awkward for everyone involved. Like a kid brings over their stepdad to meet their other dad who hates the other. (Although, that presumes any interaction would happen in the first place, which it might not given Nate's schedules, but I thought it was a funny thought, but also ignore me if this is cringe as I don’t know them well enough)

Any other notable oc interactions? I still wonder what early Naava lore is like. (I still think it’s so cool that it grows usnea, especially since usnea is a valuable medicinal herb great for being a natural bandaid, and idk that feels pretty in line with Naava’s whole deal.)

Carmine. Please let him be okay. Someone get this employee some cookies and a blanket.

Lastly, just a quick ty for the little comments/support on Vela’s post :) <3 I hope they can be friends with your ocs… or uh, (looks at Vultur trading lives for a cookie) some of them. They would love Naava, but I can’t imagine their getup is particularly approachable looking to brackens, least of all one that does not like humans to begin with.

Hii! Yippee! Thank you for the questions! Nathaniel keeps things hidden well very much on purpose. He doesn't want to bother others with the concern of his illness or for them to pity him because of it. Copycat has seen what is going on with his body but doesn't understand the gravity of the situation since Nate hasn't explained it to him. He's stubborn and resilient so regardless of what his fate will end up being, he won't give up without putting up a fight. He's determined to find a cure. Whether he will survive or not-- well. Ahahah! Next question! (I will be drawing or writing something relating to it later, so you will find out eventually!) Naava has met Nate but only watches him from a distance whenever he interacts with CC. They don't want to go close, and somewhat respect CC's decision to be friendly with the human. As long as the human is friendly too, it's fine. They will be watching closely regardless. Just in case. If something goes wrong, they won't hesitate to run in and end his life. Conductor has in fact also met Nate. It does not like him but lets him be because Naava wishes so. Might have tried to fight the poor guy once and got scolded by the Bracken afterward. So now whenever Nate visits the interior of the Moon he usually gets to go about his business in peace. Not that he's there any longer than he needs to be. 30 minutes at most. Conductor will still very much throw nasty glares at the medic whenever it ends up running into him, though. Copycat likes just about anyone and anything that he can interact with without blowing up. If it isn't actively hurting or threatening him? Friend! Someone he hasn't seen before? Friend! Funny looking plant? You guessed it, friend! Gets along with others easily, though human employees are understandably sometimes a bit off-put by him. What comes to other interactions, I will be putting them under a read more so this post doesn't become too long! There is a lot!

Carmine is still dealing with the traumatic loss of his crew, but he is learning to love and find joy again.

He is in a much better place now. At first he was very timid and unsure but warmed up to the others quickly. He's a scaredly cat, even more so than CC, but will grab his shovel and defend his friends if he has to. He also gets along great with Nate. He feels calm around him and is grateful that there is someone who can guide them through scary situations without faltering. It's still hard for them to be around CC, but he's taking his time and slowly getting used to the energetic Masked who keeps bringing him plastic fish. He thinks it's cute, even if the mask still startles him from time to time. Has seen Naava once. Got so startled he ran away screaming. Naava didn't chase him. None of the Brackens he runs into do. They can probably tell how scared he is and leave the poor man be. Or perhaps they can sense something else. The waters of Gordion do have a distinct scent of death, after all.

Nate and Vultur dislike each other. They have history and very opposing views on their research. CC doesn't know why they don't get along but can sense the tension between them and has learned that Vultur is one of those people he shouldn't get close to. Something about the way they stare at him through the helmet's visor is enough to send shivers down his spine.

Paradox is a name I haven't mentioned in a while, but her interactions with the others are very limited and not kind. The Jester sleeps and is usually dormant for long durations at a time. It wakes up during eclipses and that is a dangerous time for everyone on the Moon. While Paradox isn't that interested in eating Brackens or Nutcrackers, Masked have a similar scent and taste to that of human employees. So. You can probably see where this is going. Both Naava and Conductor are on high alert during this time, making sure to keep a very close eye on CC. It would be preferred that the little Masked wouldn't even be on the moon during that time, but it can't always be prevented. They've had few encounters with the hungry Jester. She's not one to listen during her hunt, so the best they can do is to hold her back or find something else to feed her. Once it's full, Paradox will sink back inside the box and sleep until the next eclipse arrives. She has a neutral opinion of others (everyone is mice to it) but is a lot more docile after it has eaten.

Also I am so happy you noticed the neat little usnea thing! It is intentional and Naava often uses it to aid their injured friends. The specific kind that grows on them is not only an antiseptic but also an anesthetic. Correctly applied, it can stop the bleeding of most wounds and quicken the recovery process. It can't do miracles though, so if someone is too far gone there is only so much Naava can do to help. Their past is still a bit of an unknown territory for most of the creatures, but they do know it came from the earth itself. Naava often talks about the importance of being kind to others, because in the end, the earth will swallow them all. And in the belly of the earth, nobody is anything and everyone is everything. None of them understand what they mean but in time… I'm sure they will find out :)

And aaa of course! Vela is so delightful! I'd love for them to meet some of my babies! While Naava is naturally cautious of humans and would definitely find the eyes on the helmet a bit threatening, they're a lot softer on people who are anxious, in distress, and/or considerate of others. So I think Vela would be safe! Nate and CC are usually the friendliest toward pretty much anyone and anything. Carmine is timid and it takes him time to get used to new people but I'm sure he'd love to have a new friend as well! And well, the questionable experiments and dissecting aside, Vultur does have a softer side to them. It's just very hard to get through their shell. They've lost a lot and openly caring about others is a type of vulnerability they try to avoid in fear of losing something they love again. They do like doing embroidery on the suits of their crew though so there is something in common with them!

And like, even if characters wouldn't technically get along it's always possible to think of silly interactions with them! It's a lot of fun! Always feel free to drop by my messages if you want to chat about them more!

[bonefall]

Looking into a lot of plant species/fruits/any edible things for a cat group to eat for a non wc project and I was wondering how you go about searching for all the information you scrape up? Trying to find good sources while also not spending days on research is trouble for me atm

Especially for the ovens thing that a sentient cat species can realistically make. Did that come form just researching a ton of early ovens/cooking tools and finding what ones could cats realistically make themselves?

Unfortunately, my research does take me several hours over many days. One of the reasons I decided these guides would be free for all to use, is exactly in the hopes that I can help prevent others from falling down the "research rabbit hole" like I always do, so they can spend more time creating

General Flora and Fauna

But when it comes to good sources on flora and fauna, I narrowed myself down to a loose geographical area and I look for field guides and surveys in that space. Anything produced for Northern Wales, the Western Midlands, and Northwestern England can become a treasure trove of information for me.

The Mersey Forest network is really helpful specifically, they do a lot of work restoring English forests and I learn a lot of really interesting things about forest health from them

Working Backwards; Plants

There's also times I start with a spice, or chemical in mind and work backwards. I had a much longer list of HRT herbs but then cut it down by literally checking them off a list when they couldn't grow in the right environment. I don't have the notes anymore, but I remember clearly that Saw Palmetto was on that list. Then from there I simply google "Is X Safe For Cats?" and if it gives me a "NO! Upset belly :(" result, I try to isolate the specific chemical to see if it's deadly toxic or just a plant.

Cool example of that is potatoes. Mashed potatoes are actually fine for a cat to eat, but raw potatoes are deadly because they contain solanine, which has to be cooked to be neutralized. Yeast, also. Raw yeast will kill a cat, but the baking process kills yeast when cooking. This is why I decided if I ever use baked goods, it will be with unleavened dough. Peonies got axxed for any medicine ever because of the chemical paeonol.

Technology; Bushcraft

This actually takes the most time of anything, because it's quite intensive. Epilepsy so far has taken me the longest time because I, admittedly, knew a lot less about epilepsy than I thought I did, and realized that while writing the guide and took extra time to educate myself... but when something like that doesn't happen? Bushcraft takes the longest.

That's because things that seem simple are actually quite complicated, and I try to understand the process behind something before I adapt it to cat paws.

You may have noticed I keep mentioning flax but haven't made its entry yet, and this is why. I literally learned how to process flax from scratch; and every time I hit a tool that was too advanced for cats, I asked, "Is there a simpler way to do this?"

As an example, there's a step in flax processing where you soften the grass into a workable fiber, and it uses a tool called a Flax Break like this,

And, personally, I think that's a bit too advanced for the vibe I'm going for. So I said to myself, "Ok that's super-duper but CAN I just smash it with a rock"

So I dug deeper and tried to find someone who processed some flax from scratch, you know, like, just in their backyard or something. Went through some blogs and youtube channels focused on neolithic reconstructions of flax processing, and finally, I DID find a person who just. Beat the flax with a hammer, and was still able to scutch+heckle+spin the flax into linen.

But anyway, this process is actually why I'm so reluctant to cite sources in the posts... I already spend days, unpaid, doing this research and it's fun and I really enjoy it, but I can't also vet the social media of every Robert "I Live In The Woods" McGee to make sure they aren't a whackadoodle who thinks the Earth is flat before linking to one part of their blog in a tumblr post. And, knowing bushcrafters, it is probably a fair amount of them

Not even to mention how long the guides, which are meant to be straight-foward, would get if I infodumped every little neat tidbit I came across (I removed like 4 paragraphs of essay material from the flax post already and it's not even halfway done)

But, I do come across lots of really neat resources in my research, especially ones associated with some specific craft, like Ulster Linen who's been spinning flax for 4 generations and has a lot of great education about the history of linen on their site, and ThoughtCo who produces high-quality articles with education on... nearly every topic honestly, but I learned a lot about them for linen processing.

And lastly, when I'm researching bushcraft, I try to start with one of two "types" of searches. Ovens, as an example, "History of Ovens England, History of Ovens Wales" type searches, OR "Ancient Ovens England, Pre-Anglo Ovens Wales, Medieval Ovens, Anglo-Saxon Ovens, Celtic Ovens"

Basically: A "History of Region" search, or a "Timeframe" search to begin with

THEN I go on to "History of Ovens," or "Neolithic Ovens," or jump straight into "Bushcraft Ovens," or even end up following concepts from the first search I did. Personally, I find that first step extremely important because I have a specific region in mind. It gives me a "feeling" for what the early tech is going to look like, including the materials used, and even the sorts of resources they built their tech to process.

On that note, when I finally get around to describing WindClan's oven, you may be really interested to see how they set it up to handle the way they...... hmm. You know what I'll hold onto that one, as a surprise.

I'm going to be collaborating with @mokusai soon to make some instruments for Clan Cats, so I'm going to be looking at a lot of traditional instruments from the area with this method in mind

But anyway there's a walk down my process. I hope this is helpful in some way, I wish I had a Guide To Making Guides but my deep secret is just that I have a messy, curious brain that reads a lot

[cartoonishvendor]

Evil, evil, evil!!! You are EVIL and indeed a SUCCESSFUL bastard for hanging me off of this cliff like laundry. Having said that it is IMPERATIVE you provide me with more Long After Starclan lore.

anon your verbosity never ceases to amaze me!! alright then, what you wish for you shall receive!! well start right back where we left off, in Maggotblood's story!! if any of you haven't read the first post, maybe you should, because there'll be barely any recap here!!

as always, details are subject to change, especially in this section since the whole plot following is still a bit sponge-y (i don't care that it's not sponge-y in english)

(also... ask to tag? lots of dark stuff and im not sure what to tag it as)

well then, let's-a-go!!

so last time, Maggotblood received her medicina cat name and assumed her new, full position in ShadowClan. though she is still shaken a bit by her dream for a few days afterwards, her return to ShadowClan marks the first time she's felt... respected by the general clan population. sure, there were still cats who strongly disliked her (Hawthorn, for instance), and cats she was closer with (Misty, and of course Giantcloud), but overall it seemed the clan finallysaw her as an equal. at that point, however, Maggotblood was jsut already kinda done with their bullshit though and didn't bother befriend anybody she wasn't already on good terms with. she developped a tendency for impatience, especially with cats who hadn't respected her prior, but she was also plagued by quite the insecurities. being so reliant on Giantcloud, her surrogate father, she didn't really believe she could do this job by herself should it ever come down to it in the future.

well. turns out that future would come sooner rather than later. one day, about a year after Maggotblood received her new name, a patrol of cats from ThunderClan stepped into ShadowClan camp and respectfully bowed their heads. Oh, LAS ThunderClan... i scratched the surface of clan differences in my last post ever so slightly, and ThunderClan is definitely... interesting, in this regard. By a lot of means, LAS ThunderClan is similar to it's canonical counterpart, though not in the best of ways. Stereotypically, ThunderClan cats here are obsessed with legacy and bloodlines, they're practically living in their own monarchy with their current leader, Leaves, stemming from a longer line of leaders and leader's relatives. They tend to be very proud (though that could be said about all LAS Clans) and hate asking for help fro mthe outside, sometimes outright refusing it. making it all the more surprising to see them here, like this. asking for help.

their request is simple: their elderly medicine cat has passed away and the clan's apprentice, Wren, is short of becoming a full medicine cat himself, but too short to just up and go to the Moon's Deep himself and get his name. ThunderClan's request to ShadowClan is that Giantcloud, their medicine cat, stays in the ThunderClan camp for a few moons to finish Wren's training. now, the majority of ShadowClan cats present did not thinkly highly of ThunderClan, and that went both ways. it wasn't too logn ago that ThunderClan was at war with SkyClan, with ShadowClan supporting their direct neighbours who were outnumbered against ThunderClan. cats on both sides lost their lives and overall even after it was over the cats were still bitter, so a lot of cats did not want to help them, including the newly appointed deputy Hawthorn. the ShadowClan leader Grebe, however, decided to think it over.

lookie here's Grebe you may have seen her on art fight.

she's pretty young herself but barely anybody i nthe clan ever doubted her abilities as a leader, so theres little backlash remaining in camp after she decided to allow Giantcloud to temporarily move to ThunderClan camp. one of the cats who do revolt, however, is Maggotblood. she didn't want Giantcloud to leave, there was no way she could take care of the clan without him!! if he wasn't here, who'd tell her when she mixed up herbs by accident? who'd help her if she started doubting her abilities as a medicine cat like he had? who could she rely on if he wasn't there? Grebe was confident though, that Maggotblood vould do the job well. so on the same evening, Giantcloud shared a heartfelt goodbye with his former apprentice and promised to be back soon.

during that short period of time after Giantcloud left, Maggotblood already got thrown into the ful stress of managing the medicine den by herself. Larch, a queen of ShadowClan, was due to give birth and now Maggotblood had to assist in bringing her kittens into this world. it was complicated, but ultimately went over fine. or at least so they thought, more on that later.

it felt so much longer, so much more tiring than it should be, to have to be without the cat she trusts most, but finally, during the half moon, Wren received his full medicine cat name, Nettlewren. having hoped she could be there to meet up with Giantcloud, Maggotblood was a little sad when she couldn't be, as she was stuck caring for a cat with an acute infection. but, she told herself, it mattered little. after all, the next morning Giantcloud would be right here again, in the ShadowClan medicine den with her, and everything would be fine again. right?

well. fate loves to play with the unfortunate.

the next morning, Maggotblood was greeted with a traise of pawsteps and the distinct stench of ThunderClan. however, instead of her mentor's big, black pelt and kind eyes, a patrol of warriors rushed into camp, erratic, shaken up and eyes wide from shock. they were there to bring news of a body they discovered in their territory. Giantcloud's body. they all rush to the scene and in that moment, Maggotblood's world shatters completely. her mentor, her father, laid there with wounds so gruesome, his eyes open in shock, bit his body so, so cold. nobody's voice was getting through to Maggotblood. she cried and wailed out into the forest, cowered there with him and pressing her snout into his cold fur. she wouldn't leave his side, not once, not even as the cats of ShadowClan carried Giantcloud back home. he laid in the clearing, stiff, and Maggotblood didn't want to believe it, yet here he was, dead, right in front of her.

as is tradition, the elders prepared Giantcloud for the burial and dug his grave. around this time, Oriole walks into camp and gasps at the sight, a piece of fresh kill falling from her mouth. Oriole was a bit of an odd one out in ShadowClan, she is a former rogue who sought shelter in the abandoned twolegnest in ShadowClan territory (the one that is seemingly not-abandoned in canon). it was Giantcloud and Maggotblood, then Jasmin, who found her there while looking for catmint. and it was especially Giantcloud who convinced her to join the clan, as well as convinced his clanmates to let her join. though hard to convince, the clan learned of her abilities soon: photographic memory. these days, Oriole still lived at that nest instead of camp, and only had Grebe's brother Wryneck as a close friend, but she was still very friendly with Giantcloud who made it possible for her to say, making her very heartbroken at this sight. but before the elders began their procedure on Giantcloud's body, she noticed something.

she was the first to say it: those wounds look like they were from a cat. not a fox, or a badger, or even a dog. a cat. others carefully snuck closer to his body as Oriole explained her reasoning. silence followed. no more talking until the ceremony was over. at last, Giantcloud was put to rest in the ground. LAS ShadowClan cats don't hold lovely remarks at funerals. among other things, the cats present must not speak until after the sun had set or risen, depending on when the burial took place.

the last ray of sun had vanished and immediately, an uproar. a cat angrily growled at Oriole for her remarks. another joins in, loudly voicing their suspicion that it was Oriole who killed Giantcloud. Wryneck steps in. the usually quiet and introverted warrior lashes out, claiming him and Oriole both spent the night at the twolegnest together. suddenly he gets accused as well. chaos breaks loose, cats are snarling, mumbling, then yelling, about rogues and strays. Grebe is just about to step in as somebody else already does: Misty.

you may remember Misty from before. the only friend of Maggotblood's who was not a medicine cat, basically. known each other since Maggotblood was just a kit. during the whole rest of the day, Maggotblood had felt horrible. numb. she was glad nobody could talk to her, and nobody could get hurt and require her treatment, since most activities were cut shirt to only necessary patrols. she couldn't think about Giantcloud's cause of death or who killed him, she couldn't think at all! all she could do was stare blankly and recall all the things they've done together, all the times he helped her, and... she held back her helpless wails, for the sake of silence. when the uproar began she simply stepped outside and watched with a blank expression. would Giantcloud have wanted this? her stomach turned. but as soon as Misty entered her field of vision, Maggotblood could hear her words as more than just a blend of noise. She could pay attention.

why blame each other when the real enemy was apparent: it was ThunderClan who took away Giantcloud, and it was ThunderClan's territory he was found on. Misty had never been the most outstanding among her clan peers, but now everyone listened, to her unshaken confidence shining through in her speech. and soon, the fighting clan became a rallying clan, loudly exclaiming their hatred for ThunderClan. cats claiming they should have neevr trusted them in the first place, cats demanding revenge. at last, Grebe demanded silence from her clan, reminding them to honor the deceased. she would hold a clan meeting the next day. though, despite respecting the orders, the seed of hatred was planted, and Maggotblood herself was no exception. after all, it made sense, right? but, Maggotblood being who she was, this wasn't a satisfying enough answer for her. she wasn't just gonna accept that ThunderClan killed her father. she needed a name. a cat. someone who could feel the full extent of the wrath that was rising inside her.

Maggotblood would sneak into ThunderClan territory the same night, avoiding being caught by any warriors out and about at night (one of the many quirks of living in ShadowClan), to investigate the crime scene herself. however, the were no discernible scents left, only muddles ThunderClan and ShadowClan scents to be detencted. but it was still proof it couldn't have been anything other than a fellow cat, further evidenced by the lack of any big, chaotic fight. she headed back.

far quicker than her, Maggotblood's clanmates settled back into their everyday lives. death was not a rare occurance, right? they couldn't understand what his death had meant for her, not even with the side remarks of condolences from her clanmates. Misty and her words of encouragement were the only ones she accepted, Misty knew what it was like after all, to lose one's father like this. Maggotblood, too, was forced back into reality, now assuming the position of the primary medicine cat. whenever she had free time in between treating a patient, she spent it brooding, thinking of other things she could do. other ways she could find out who killed Giantcloud. the next gathering was still far away. when Oriole showed herself around camp, still getting a few side eyes from some cats, Maggotblood, in private, pressed her about her remarks at the burial, questioning whether she remembered any scents on top of her detailed visual impression of the events. she couldn't give Maggotblood an answer, didn't recall smelling anything other than death and herbs that day, but she noted how utterly stressed the she-cat seemed.

the New Moon rolled around. ShadowClan celebrates this event by having every warrior old enough who wants to join in take a walk up the stream that separated ShadowClan and SkyClan territory. then, they would all pick one stick each from a tree or one on the ground, carve it clean with their claws until all teh bark was gone, and at moon high, they would all drop their sticks into the stream and wish for things such as strength and durability. Maggotblood wished for the strength to keep going, to find out the truth behind Giantcloud's death. soon after, it turned out she'd need that strength for a lot more.

Larch, the queen who had given birth, woke up the whole camp the next morning, screaming. Maggotblood rushed to the scene and was meet with the horrible sight of Larch's daughter, dead in her nest. any and all attempts by Maggotblood to revive her came to no avail. She couldn't understand, when she was born everything seemed fine with the kitten, and even now there was no apparent reason for her to die, and yet she was dead. Maggotblood panicked, she was shocked and Larch surely did not fare better when Maggotblood confirmed her death by unknown cause. she lashed out, screamed and snapped at Maggotblood, very loudly blaming her for the death of her kitten, for all the clan to witness. Ice, her mate, heldher back from actually attacking Maggotblood, who had been cowering there, expecting to have her life ended over this, which she viewed a failure on her part. inconsolable, both of them. the night after the kitten's funeral, Maggotblood cried herself to sleep, wishing her mentor had been here, for he had not let that kitten die.

Larch was far from keen to let her other kitten alone with Maggotblood, which she had to considering the state she was still in, but Ice did his best to calm her nerves. He had been a tad nervous himself, though for other reasons. the next day, he'd find out what path his son would take in his life. to appease Larch, Ice asked if Maggotblood could take a warrior escort with the two of them to the Moon's Deep. that escort, Larch decided, would be Hawthorn's brother Toad, who could defend the patrol from any danger (putting emphasis on it which led maggotblood to believe Larch saw her as a danger as well). the past time had been rough on the whole clan, Maggotblood especially, for reasons you can imagine. she couldn't bring herself to look forward to the Half Moon night ahead of her, the thing she had always looked forward to as an apprentice, because she got to be with her friends. too much had happened. at the very least, Toad was doing his duty without antagonizing her, though she could tell he grew uncomfortable in her presence. well, she thought, at least the little kit was nice to her. just before sunset, the three of them got going and soon arrived at the end of the sandy paths and at the Moon's Deep where nests in the pit had already been in the process of being set up.

not an unusual sight, but Toad commented on the sheer size of the carpets of moss down in the pit. a she-cat arrived at the scene, respectfully bowing her head to the patrol. as neither of the two other adults recognized her, she introduced her as Flower of WindClan (which the latter they could guess from her scent already), here to accompany Lakerunner, as well as a queen here with her four kits. Maggotblood's ears perkeed up at the mention of her friend's name. after Flower voiced her condolences to the patrol, for the news of their loss had reached WindClan too, her and Toad continued setting up the nests and settling in Larch's son, as well as the queen who soon arrived with another escort. the escort would leave again, and the queen introduced herself to Toad as Nightingale, and her four kits wind up befriending Larch's son. they share insight with each other, about beliefs and superstitions of their respective cultures. larch is especially fascinated to learn that the WindClan kittens will get to pick their names after this ceremony, and the four of them are equally astounded that the ShadowClan cats can only name themselves at 6 moons of age.

meanwhile Maggotblood had set off into the surrounding nature, soon running into Lakerunner, who had looked for more nesting material. Lakerunner too had heard the news of Giantcloud's death, saddened too, as the two of them had known each other for as long as he was an apprentice too. Maggotblood broke down at the scene, confided into Lakerunner all her feelings, and all that had happened, and Lakerunner provided her with much needed reassurance and a grounded perspective of the events that had occured. after calming down a bit, after having talked through the Larch incident, the death of Giantcloud and this incredible loss, Maggotblood talked a lot about needing to find out the truth. and while Lakerunner, at first, seemed concerned, he couldn't help but promise to support her through this journey. Her suspicion that it was a ThunderClan warrior, or even a whole ThunderClan plot seemed outrageous, and that ultimately piqued his interest. after all, once Maggotblood presented him with the details, he too wanted to find out if it really was a murder or not, because somebody like Giantcloud, who had no enemies beside disease, seems like the most unlikely target.

For now though, the two of them went back to the Moon's Deep and slept through the night. Maggotblood, for the first time in moons, feeling warm, sleeping beside her friend. Larch's son would not be the next medicine cat, it turned out. though, one of Nightingale's kittens showed a potential Lakerunner would first have to go back to camp to report to both Nightingale in private, as well as his elderly mentor Ashflight. now, with this half moon over, the next thing on the agenda would be the Gathering on the full moon.

oh my god. over twice as long as the first post and still not nearly done. i already figured id have to 3-part this but it might even be a 4-parter. sowwy!!

[mallowstep]

Leopard AU, Primrose AU

Hawkfrost, Mothwing and Frogheart (???) Are extremely protective of their mom. They don't exactly know what happened, but as kits and apprentices they'd try and keep Mudfur away from Leopard, and once Hawkfrost sees his mother's reaction to Brambleclaw after he returns he gets extremely overprotective. He, Frog, and Moth do their best to keep Bramble away and out of Leopard's sight, Stonefur helping while Frog carries Feather down the mountain, and Primrosefur does the same for Misty and Feather. While Primrose is in constant pain from her mutilated paw, she still protects her sister and mother. She won't let Bramble near them. Misty of course, tries to convince her daughter to let Stonefur carry her, as Misty can always tell when Primrose and Feather are in pain. She tries to assure her daughter that she's okay, but Primrose still keeps herself between Misty and Bramble.

prim bb <3

ohhhh okay. and yes, we're going to go w frogheart and primrosefur so i don't have to think too much. prim deserves primroseheart but that is so many letters and stormheart and headaches (metaphorical) and memory problems so. primrosefur.

anyway back On Topic lmao.

personally, i am way more into the Drama of mothkit wanting to be a medicine cat and not Understanding why mudfur and leopardstar don't talk. i don't think they'd know mudfur as leopardstar's father.

and i think like. yeah. that's my particular flavour of angst. maybe tigerstar would be the one to tell them about mudfur. hm.

but this is good too. /gen

the kits don't need to keep mudfur and leopardstar apart -- they do that themselves. and stonefur and mistyfoot do. but -- yeah. if mudfur had lived longer, maybe they would have reconciled. or at least -- would have been able to let certain things come out.

as for brambleclaw: hawkfrost, who is a mama's boy in everything i write because ofc he is it's more fun that way (yes, even in stolag), would notice instantly.

leopardstar is -- i think she'd do everything in her power to not react visibly. and she would Know Of Brambleclaw, he goes to gatherings, etc., but hawkfrost would notice what happens when they go to sunningrocks, no matter how subtle.

that said, personally, i'm not into kids protecting their parents narratives. this is personal reasons, it's really not a criticism of them as a whole, i'm just not a fan.

so i'd probably play it as -- a mystery. why does leopardstar avoid brambleclaw?

and -- so okay, the reason feathertail gets carried down in the misty au actually isn't tigerclan. i mean she probably should have been either way but feathertail really, really, really hates being carried. a lot. big time trauma.

it's in part bc of tigerclan, but also because when she's really sick, she passes out/collapses a lot, can't move, and so that's the only real choice. so it's also that -- that she associates it with two helpless periods. but that will come up later.

anyway, i'm not sure if prim would need to be carried? like? depends how you played her injuries. i wouldn't -- i don't know. it could go either way.

everything is symbolism; feathertail getting carried has a lot of important moments in it. i don't Know if it would have the same weight for primrosefur.

more likely is -- that feathertail and tawnypelt are now suddenly on. neutral terms? what is Up with That? think prim would feel a bit betrayed. it's not even like feathertail and tawnypelt are positive. but still. prim Probably has a better memory of events depending on how you write it. feathertail's memory is terrible.

but she'd definitely get overprotective i think. stormheart works thru some of it on the journey, but it's -- hard. feathertail is Once Again seriously injured. and mistyfoot and brambleclaw are -- all things considered, probably OK.

maybe not perfect, but OK.

and i think primrosefur would feel -- like everyone just forgot about all of these terrible things. they didn't, of course, but she hasn't had the chance that others have had. feathertail and tawnypelt on the quest, mistyfoot and brambleclaw in thunderclan (prim is...not trusting of the other apprentices, so she doesn't get that chance), and prim has had nothing.

that's some Good angst right there.

[timegirl]

Cats Don't Have Nine Lives - Moceit Appreciation Week 2021

Characters: Patton, Janus

Relationship: Platonic or Romantic

Prompts: Aftermath (day 2), Animal (day 4)

Word Count: 2073

Trigger Warnings: This whole fic surrounds a death of a pet and the mourning of the owner. It is sad. Contains a light description of a declining medical condition of a pet. Please don't read if you're sensitive to these topics. Patton tries to blame himself. Food is mentioned briefly.

Summary: Patton suffers a loss and Janus comforts him.

@moceit-appreciation-week @moceit

This is not like my regular works. It is sad and depressing, and is based on my own life. More details on ao3. Please mind the warnings and the tags, stay safe.

---------------------------------

“Hey, Jan? I was just at the vet... it’s.... over....”

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry... Are you going home now?”

sniffle “Yeah...”

“I’ll be right there.”

“Okay...”

Janus used the spare key he had to Patton’s apartment. “Patton, darling?” He called and closed the door behind him. He heard soft sobs greeting him from the living room. “Oh, baby...” He hurried to the living room and found his friend curled up on the sofa, clutching a small baby blue blanket to his chest. His face was puffed and red, and tears were streaming down his cheeks non stop.

“Patton, honey...” Janus clicked his tongue and quickly sat beside Patton, opening his arms for the other to snuggle in his embrace. The moment he was sat Patton clung to his torso and sobbed hard and loud, burying his face in Janus' chest and wetting his shirt with tears. Janus frowned, his brows furrowing in concern, and started rubbing slow circles on Patton back.

“I’m so sorry...” He whispered. “Shhhhhh.....” Janus started rocking gently back and forth, trying to sooth Patton’s ache.

They sat like that for a few minutes, holding each other. Janus took the opportunity to look around at the apartment. It was a really saddening look. Everywhere you looked there were cat themed objects. Never mind the cat stickers decorating the walls and the little kitty sculptures on the shelves, everything in this house screamed that there’s a feline resident in there.

A brown cat bed with a monkey plushie sitting in its corner.

Three carton boxes in different sizes were lined up opened against the wall.

A carton board on the floor beneath a blue bench that was much too small for a human. The board was covered in claw marks and teared a bit in the edges.

Toys were scattered everywhere on the floor. Mice, spikey balls, balls with little bells inside. There was one cat wand on the floor near the cat bed, a stick with a brown furry string and several colorful feathers tied to the end.

A blue cat tree was standing next to the sofa, a plaid blanket cushioned the lowest platform.

The armchair was covered in absurd amounts of cat fur, as if to say this was her spot, no one else's.

Janus lifted his gaze upwards. The walls weren't spared either. On two different walls there were blue cushioned shelves designed as stairs, going from the floor to a level above Janus' head as he stood in his full height, and Patton was shorter than him. On one step of the stairs sat a small tiger plushie.

As Patton's sobs slowly quieted down, the silence between the two was disturbed only by a small water fountain in the corner of the room, trickling steadily.

Patton didn’t want to let go of Janus. He felt like someone pulled the rug from under his feet, and Janus' firm hands were his only lifeline. He smelled nice, too, as much as Patton was able to smell with a stuffy nose from all the crying. Like the comfort and nostalgia of opening an old book with yellowing pages, with just a hint of cologne. He was warm, and it felt comforting to be held by him, like a comfort blanket. Patton was no longer crying, just inhaling Janus' scent softly to ground himself. Janus' fingers caressed the back of his head and Patton leaned into the touch.

Eventually Janus broke the silence.

"She's had a good life." He whispered into Patton's hair, and Patton felt the vibrations rumble in his chest.

Patton sighed heavily. "Yeah..." he mumbled. Sniffling once, he pulled himself away and wiped the remaining tears off his cheeks, the ones that weren't coating Janus' shirt. He looked down at the blanket he was holding.

"That's hers, right?" Janus asked.

"Yeah," said Patton, "I used it to get her into the cage, you know how she gets," he chuckled humorlessly. Janus gave him a sad smile. "She was also... wrapped in it when... when the vet... you know..."

"Yeah..." Janus rubbed his hand on Patton's arm comfortingly.

"You know, she's had a kidney failure two years ago, and the vet said that we're only prolonging the inevitable. Eventually it'll happen again and it'll be the end," Patton busied his hand with the hem of the blanket, "but I thought it'll be at least... five years, you know? Not two. Not that it wouldn't have been hard either way, but, still... It's just... so abrupt," he frowned, the tears threatening to overflow again.

"Well," Janus hesitated, "at least now you won't need the antihistamines anymore, right?" he tried for humor, and Patton's lips broke into a genuine smile and he laughed weakly through his nose.

"Right..." His smile slowly turned into a solemn expression and he sighed. "What if..." he bit his lower lip, "what if I could've stopped it?"

"Patton, no. It is not your fault."

"No, I know... The vet said it would've happened anyway... But what if I wasn't perceptive enough? Maybe if I'd noticed something's wrong sooner they could've saved her..." Tears began to accumulate in Patton's eyes.

"Sweetie, listen to me." Janus took both of Patton's hands in his and looked straight into his eyes. "It is not your fault. You were an amazing owner. You loved her so much and gave her everything she could've ever dreamed of."

"But I-"

"Shh shh shh, no buts," Janus used his thumb to gently wipe a stray tear off Patton's cheek, beneath his glasses. "I've known you since before you adopted her. I've seen how you took care of her with everything you have. Spending nights treating her when she was sick, doing everything in your power every day to make her take the medicine you knew she hated but made her feel better, staying awake late to pet her just because she didn't want to go to sleep and you couldn't bare to say no to her. Darling, trust me when I say, she was the luckiest cat in the world to have you as her owner."

Patton started sobbing again, furiously wiping his tears with his fingers, dirtying his wet glasses even more. Janus clicked his tongue. "Come here," he said as he pulled Patton to his embrace once again, placing a kiss on the crown of his head. "It's ok to grieve," he whispered, rocking them back and forth, "but don't beat yourself up about things out of your control." Patton sniffed, nodding weakly. Janus waited a bit before saying, "Let's bring you some water, ok honey?" Patton nodded again and pulled back. "I'll be right back." Janus said and petted Patton's cheek gently. He stood up and walked to the kitchen to get Patton a glass of water.

In the kitchen, Janus noticed a bowl of dry cat food in the corner. He debated getting rid of it and sparing Patton the pain, but decided against it. He'll ask Patton if he needs help with it, but he might want to do it himself to get some closure.

Janus returned to the living room with a glass of water in his hand. Patton looked up at him as he approached and small smile spread on his face. Janus' chest filled with warmth. He'll do anything for this man, he just wants him to be happy.

"Thank you," Patton said and reached his hand to grab the glass.

"You're welcome, honey," Janus replied as he took his place on the sofa.

They were silent for a moment as Patton drank. "You know," he said, lowering the glass to his lap and holding it with both hands. "I keep thinking about how naïve I was when I adopted her."

"Naïve? How so?"

"I thought it was funny, giving a cat a number as a name. You know, Nine, as in nine lives?" Janus looked at Patton, concern apparent on his forehead. Patton was looking down to his glass in his lap. "Of course there were other reasons too. It was September 2009 when I got her. The ninth month of the ninth year of the milenium. It was so fitting! Of course I couldn't give up the opportunity to give her a name that's a play on words!" Janus frowned and rubbed Patton's knee. "But cats don't really have nine lives, do they? Not even a cat named Nine..." He sighed.

Janus looked at him in silence. It was good that Patton was talking. Janus has spent years trying to make Patton to open up to him. He was always hiding behind jokes and a huge smile. He needed a safe platform to be able to unload everything weighing down on his chest. Janus was always happy to provide him that safe space, and the fact that Patton trusted him enough by now to open up to him was a bit overwhelming, in a good way. But it wasn't about Janus right now, it's about Patton and his pain. Janus knew Patton so well by now, that he didn't need to check to know that if he stayed silent, Patton would open up even more and unload more of his negative feelings, and Janus would be there for him when he does.

Surely enough, after a few moments of silence, Patton let out a breathy laugh, devoid of humor. "I keep thinking she's gonna come out from around the corner like everything's normal... You'd think dying is a one time thing. She died, that's it. It happened. Now we're after it. But it's not..." Patton emptied his glass and placed it on the table. "It's still happening. She didn't just die... She's dead. And she keeps being dead, all the time, over and over again. Every time I look to the hallway and expect her to walk out with her tail wiggling high, she's dead again. Every time I think of her... She's dead. Again. She's really... not coming back... She's staying dead." Patton played with the sleeve of the hoodie that was always tied around his shoulders. "Look at me," he chuckled, "I'm even wearing a cat hoodie. I'm pathetic..." He sighed.

"Patton honey," Janus wrapped his arms over Patton's shoulders and pulled him to rest against his chest, maneuvering himself to a more comfortable position, leaning back on the sofa. "You're not pathetic. Ok?" He stroked Patton's hair with his hand. "Those things take time. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you it'll all be gone one day and you won't feel anything. That's never going to happen." Patton pouted in response. "But it won't be as painful. It won't be an open wound anymore. It will scar." Patton's eyes widened and he looked up to Janus, letting his eyes rest on the scar tissue on the man's left cheek. "A scar is... a reminder of what once was. It's unpleasant to look at, and it's scruffy to touch, and remembering what left the scar is... painful, to say the least." Patton's brows furrowed in a frown. Janus smiled warmly at him. "But it doesn't hurt by itself anymore. You can live your life and not even remember it's there most of the time. At first it hurts and itches and every move you make has to be calculated because the wound is bleeding and everything hurts. But with a scar you don't have to do that anymore. You're going to be ok." Patton sighed and rested his cheek on Janus' chest. "And you know, I thought about what you said." Patton raised his eyebrows and hummed in question. "You weren't naïve. You were being funny, and witty, and wonderful, like you always are." Patton's cheeks warmed in a blush. "I know it might take a while, but I can already see you in a few months with your two new kitties, Seven and Five." Patton giggled and Janus smiled, kissing his hair.

It wasn't perfect. In fact, it was extremely painful, and the grieving process has just begun. But maybe Janus was right. It had a nice ring to it, Seven and Five. Nine's little siblings. Of course, she'll never know them, but it's nice imagining how his first cat's name becomes a legacy in all of his future cats. Patton sighed. It's not going to be easy. But with Janus by his side, maybe, just maybe, he can do it. He will be ok.

[ajokeformur-ray]

ok so for the match up thing!! name is loren, im 20, a 5'2 tiny goth kiddo who looks always grumpy and has a dark sense of humor i guess. i study philosophy and i write for a theatre company because i don't have the guts to act!! im,,, a shy mess. never dated before although i had some casual sex but really it felt so empty that i choice not to have it anymore unless im in love honestly. i own a typewriter! and im always dancing in my room because it feels good and it helps me when im manic!

also I have BPD and I cling too much to people, like really depending by em if they’re my fave at the moment and im very jealous and have anger issues but I try my best to be nice or polite at least!! i love cats, snakes and ravens. i love cozy days when you do nothing at all except for laying under a blanket and watch the rain or little things like this! i like to cook and being Italian, i can cook very well. i have glasses but i hate how I do look with em so I don’t ever wear em.

i love arthur fleck so fucking much i literally would die for him because he needs to be spoiled and cuddled and just thinking about him makes me cry so loud- but i love the joker as well, of course, being the smug bastard he is!! and daydreaming about him helps me going through the day which it’s not always so easy because sometimes it’s just too much, you know

ohhhh I forgot I wear a shit load of make up like literally I look like Robert Smith most of the time and I don’t give a fuck about people opinions ai literally go to lessons dressed like a gothic doll most of the time

i’m also a night owl

Arthur Fleck (I know he’s angry in this GIF but fuck he’s hot)

word count: 1, 131

We don’t know Arthur’s real age, but Joaquin (the gorgeous man that he is) is 44, so let’s assume the same for Arthur for a touch of realism, shall we? That being said, this means that Arthur would be so hesitant to even talk to you because of your age. You see him staring, though, you see him following you sometimes wearing that thin yellow hoodie he seems to love, and so you decide to approach him. He’s instantly smitten.

You have a dark sense of humour and so does Arthur, so this is perfect for his ego. His comedy is a sore spot, it always has been, because no one supports this precious boi in anything he does and it’s really fucking sad. When he cracks a really dry, deadpan and dark joke and you burst out laughing, love just blooms in his chest and he falls in love with you a little more. How are you real? He’s convinced you’re a delusion he’s concocted sometimes, but he dares not question it. Anything is better than the truth. Anything.

You study philosophy, so your intellect is definitely above Arthur’s. His handwriting is really bad (in the cutest way? Imagine handwritten letters from him that are filled with smiley faces and words scribbled out like 1000000 times because he can’t spell it right until he gives up and uses a word he does know how to spell) and because of how impoverished he is, that suggests that he’s uneducated. As such, when you write an essay or an assignment or you complete some other work, he’d want to read it but he wouldn’t really understand some of the more technical stuff. He’s not at all stupid, he’s very clever, and I think sometimes he’d ask you a question late at night about the thing you’re studying just so he can go to sleep to the sound of your voice. With his weary head cushioned on your chest, your heartbeat in his ear, your voice and your hands in his hair, he’d be asleep in no time.

I feel like Arthur would really love the fact that you’re shy because that means it’s easier for him to assume the protective role? So, like, he’d find your shyness frankly adorable and if you ever got shy over him then it just becomes a circle of shyness before Arthur bursts out into uncontrollable laughter and you have to comfort him through a fit. Just squeeze his hand, patiently wait it out, and reap the rewards when he can breathe again and his lips are on yours as a thank you.

You love to dance and this… Oh, this is a quintessential part of your whole relationship. When it’s late at night and Arthur is listening to music on the radio, he’d approach you, his body already swaying to the beat, and his hands would find your hips and he’d dance with you, doing that really fucking attractive shoulder thing he does. It ends up with the two of you in the bedroom doing a different kind of dance, if you get my meaning ;) Arthur understands how simple things can help you when you’re feeling a certain way, so when you’re feeling manic it’s almost 1000% guaranteed that he’ll just start dancing with you until you’re so tired you don’t want to do anything anymore.

You have BPD and you cling to people, which would actually really reassure our boi. He would need near constant reassurance that you’re real, that you love him, that he’s not hallucinating your entire fucking existence, that you’re not going to leave etc, etc. In return for all the coddling you (gladly) give him, he would do anything for you. And I mean anything ;) he would let you cling to him in any meaning - physically, mentally, emotionally. Anything. “You’re my Loren, it’s my job to take care of you.” and he’d do it so well you’d be ruined for anyone else in your life. Ever. He’s a jealous boi and though he’d take you at your word, if someone wasn’t getting the memo he’d have to step in. 

You both adore and live for cozy days inside his apartment. He has a special blanket that he likes to curl up under with you. It smells like the two of you and when either of you are missing the other because of work, studying or whatever else, then you huddle under it until the other returns. You can cook well, which is perfect because the best Arthur can do is really cheap microwave meals. He’s worryingly thin, not only because of the seven medicines he’s on but also because he just can’t afford to eat. It’d be really hard for him to even put any weight on, but at least you keep him regularly fed.

When you told Arthur that you would actually die for him and that you love him so much it just makes you cry sometimes, he’d be astounded. He’d just sit there, blinking for a few tense seconds before his throat rips with loud, intrusive laughter which is so hard and so uncontrollable that he can taste blood in the back of his throat. You’d hold him, love him, support him and cherish him and that right there means that he’s never going to leave you. Not ever. Sex with him reflects this. He’s so gentle, so tender and so loving that it makes your heart bleed. It’s not uncommon for one or both of you to actually cry during sex because you’re just so, so in love with each other that it hurts in the sweetest, most precious way.

You know who you are and you know what you want and you don’t give a fuck what people think about you. You wear what you want when you want and that’s such a fucking mood and Arthur would be so proud of you and he’d totally offer to do your makeup for you using his own work supplies! He’d be so careful and he’d giggle against the way your nose wrinkles when he’s a bit too careful with his brush and he’d want to kiss you again and again, ruining your makeup purposefully so he can stay closer to you for just a little longer and…. oh, I’m actually gonna cry writing this wow… (spoiler: I did.)

In the grand conclusion because wow I’ve rambled: you and Arthur have the sweetest, most precious relationship. It’s full of love. There are definite challenges, there are some arguments because things just get too much for the both of you sometimes and sometimes there’s more taking than giving on either side because that’s how it can be, but you never leave each other. Never, never, never.

Joker (fun fact when this part showed in the cinema I was with my mum and i legit went “Oh, fuck me” as in I properly moaned AND SHE HEARD ME. two weeks later and she still hasn’t said anything but I know she heard me)

word count: 1, 522

Whereas Arthur struggled to even think of talking to you because of the huge age gap, Joker really isn’t all that bothered. You’re a fully consenting adult who knows her own mind, so what’s the harm, right? So long as you’re both happy and comfortable with each other, he couldn’t care less. That being said, you’re 5′2 and Joker is 5′8 so there’d be some height teasing going on. He would put things up on a higher shelf in the kitchen just so he can come up behind you and ‘accidentally’ (on purpose) press his crotch up and into your bottom as he retrieves the item you’re after with a cocky grin on his face and fire in his eyes. Sexual teasing is a very normal part of your relationship and it’s a serious warning sign that he is not okay if he doesn’t do anything like that towards you all day. 

You have a dark sense of humour and you look grumpy a lot of the time, which means that, often, Joker will practically bounce up to you and use his index fingers to make you smile. It wouldn’t take long for you to actually smile from his actions, though, and that’s exactly why he does everything that he does; because he knows you can’t resist him, the smug bastard. Oh, but you love him, and he know the depth of your love for him. He’s so very honoured by it, though his way of showing it is sometimes to murder someone who irritated you last Thursday and not ever telling you about it. He’s a strange one, but he’s so free that you find yourself not minding. Just so long as he’s happy; when Joker is down, it means that something is hugely wrong and it reminds you so badly of Arthur that it hurts and you might have to crack out some of his own jokes just to cheer him up. For example, if you handed him an actual human heart and said, “I love you, Joker”, he’d burst out into loud and genuine laughter and would end up smudging his makeup from kissing you so soundly. Isn’t he gorgeous?

Joker isn’t political, religious, or anything of the sort. He tells you and others that he doesn’t believe in anything. But there’s one thing he believes in. Just one. It’s the love you have for each other that he vehemently believes in. if anyone even dared to suggest that your love isn’t as strong as you say - she’s just scared of being killed, that’s why she’s with him, or what a freak! How can she stand to kiss him? - then he’d go fucking apeshit. The last person he overheard doubting your love for him ended up swallowing several bullets in quick succession. Overkill? Perhaps, but he doesn’t care. No one gets to doubt your love for each other, not even yourselves. He’d be very supportive of your studies and I have no doubt that, if you ever got a shaky grade, it’d be changed very quickly by a shaking tutor who can’t quite look you in the eye. The smiley face on the whiteboard which looks like a child did it clues you in hugely, though. His actions are wrong but it comes from a very heavily guarded heart of gold.

Where Arthur finds your shyness cute and he would immediately adopt Protective Mode™, Joker would just relentlessly tease you just to see how deep your blush goes. “That’s an interesting shade of red, Loren. Where have I seen it before? Ah, yes…” *Twirls and fingers the hem of his red tuxedo* Be warned, though… Only Joker gets to tease you about being shy. If anyone else dared to tease you for being shy or for stuttering or for tripping over your words and oh god shut up, he’d rip them a new one. Only he gets to tease you. He does, sometimes, wind you up on purpose, just to see how far he can push you before you snap and want to punch something. He finds it incredibly amusing. Deep down, though, he’d be just as protective as Arthur and would find himself doing things for you that you’re too shy to do; in whatever means you need! ;)

You dance because it helps you when you’re manic but also because you enjoy it. Just like with Arthur, this is absolutely essential in your relationship with Joker. A lot of the time when you’re dancing, he’d step in flawlessly and you’d start dancing together like Fred and Ginger, with him dipping you, spinning you around, lifting you up with surprising strength, and it’s one of his favourite ways (other than makeup sex) to apologise to you. “Dance with me.” Immediately would his hands grab you, spinning you, his intense green eyes never leaving yours, that damned smirk on his lips as he sees that blush rising on your face… Again, like with Arthur, you do several modes of dancing together; some are more preferable to others!

When you’re out and about together in public, you’re basically glued together. Your hands are held so tightly by the other that you’re not sure whose hands is whose and, are your fingers getting a bit numb? Both of you have jealousy and anger issues for slightly different reasons; Joker because it’s borne from a place of deeply set abuse and abandonment issues, and you have your own reasons that he may or may not know about. He finds it baffling that you get jealous over him, though. So many of Arthur’s neuroses still live on in Joker, despite his bravado. You try to be polite, but Joker makes no such efforts; he will destroy someone for even glancing at you in the street. 

You both live for cosy days. These are the days during which Joker will relax his persona. He will cuddle with you, watching shows on TV, his fingers grazing along the underside of your breasts or even dipping under your underwear. You can arch your hips into his touch all you want, he’s not gonna give you what you want unless you’re patient. He loves foreplay more than the act itself; to him, anticipation heightens everything deliciously. You cook very well, and Joker would love to watch you cook. He enjoys the heat you summon into the bedroom, and he loves bending you over the counter, sweeping the dirty plates into the sink with a noisy crash (and you have to buy new plates at least once a week), and fucking you until you’re only upright  because of his arm wound tightly around your waist.

You once told Joker that you often think of him when you’re not with him, just because he offers you comfort and support from wherever he is. Just knowing he’s somewhere in Gotham wreaking havoc or even waiting for you to get home makes you feel like you can conquer the fucking world, and he was flattered. He did get a little upset, though, when you confessed that you would actually die for him if you had to. He kills for you, and sometimes because of you without a thought, but turning that idea around onto you makes him feel hot in all the wrong ways. I actually think Joker would crawl into your arms that night, needing to feel that you were there, and real, and even now he’s wondering how you could possibly love him knowing all that he has done and will continue to do. He would make you promise to never keep your word on this topic, because no one is gonna be dying in this relationship. You and him are forever a ride or die. For better or for worse.

You stand together at the bathroom sink putting your faces on. Your shoulders are touching, which means sometimes your elbows bump into each other and one of you makes a mistake with the makeup. “Oh, would you look at that? My makeup’s ruined,” Joker would hum, “what are you going to do about it, darling?” There’s only one answer to this, and it’s the two of you kissing each other so passionately that you have to wash your faces off and start again. Who knows, maybe you don’t get to leave the bathroom that day. Makeup is one of the biggest expenditures in your small household, even with Joker knowing where to go to get the good stuff.

In conclusion: dating Joker would be so very different to dating Arthur, but there is love, compassion, trust, adoration, so much sex you’re surprised you can still walk most mornings (he can and will go multiple rounds with you in a day; he’s a horny fucker, is our Joker), and there are definitely more emotional challenges than there are any other, but you’ve learned to stick it out with him over the years, You’d never leave him for any reason, even if he murdered everyone in Gotham (and a lot of the time he’s sorely tempted to burn the city to the ground and start all over again).

[spin-birdie]

Have you done any apocalyptic type stuff for RK1K? I don't see much of that stuff for the ship.

as a matter of fact i have! this fic is based on a visual novel set in a zombie apocalypse i played a while back and i have a couple of ideas for some rk1k apocalypse stories that idk what to do with

idk if you were specifically asking for fic but i decided to write one anyway because that fic i just linked had an ambiguous ending and ive got emotional bitch disease so Whoops I Fixed My Own Fic I Guess

word count: 1.6k

pairing: rk1k

additional tags: zombie apocalypse au, human au, fix-it fic/spoilers for my own shit lmao

Connor is asleep by the time the engine finally stalls and sputters out, causing the car to roll to a stop. He doesn’t wake up, even as Markus swears and makes futile attempts to keep the car running. The dash stays lit up until Markus sighs and pulls the keys out of the ignition. There’s no use in running down the battery as well.

It’s too dark to see. Not much changes when Markus closes his eyes. There’s no sound except for breathing and the slight breeze coming through his still open window. At least the air smells clean.

If he wanted to, Markus could wake Connor up and try running. But with the visibility being non-existent, it’s not like they’d even get far. It would be unfortunate to make it all this way only to trip and die.

Markus sinks back in his seat and listens for Connor. He’s still breathing, but it’s slow and quiet. When he blindly reaches out for Connor’s hand, he’s not any warmer than he was before. But he’s not any colder, which might be a good sign. Maybe.

Either way, there’s nothing he can do. Markus feels out for the lever under the seat, but it refuses to budge. Stupid used cars. It gives after a few forceful tugs and the seat moves back, allowing Markus to recline properly. He breathes in. He breathes out. And he waits for sleep.

Sleep doesn’t come. Instead, light shines through his vision, startling Markus into opening his eyes. He doesn’t know how much time has passed. All he knows is that he’s not seeing natural light.

The light washes over the front of the windshield before splitting in two and moving closer. By now, Markus can tell he’s looking at two people holding flashlights. It’s nearly unfathomable, after days of seeing nothing but zombies. Connor is the only human Markus has spoken to in weeks.

The closer light moves around to Connor’s window. The unseen person sticks their flashlight through the gap and shines it over Connor, who begins to stir.

“Hello?” Markus calls out. “What are you doing?”

The light jumps. “Oh! Luther, one of them is alive!”

“We both are,” Markus corrects.

Connor’s face scrunches up and he turns his head away from the light. “Wh-What’s happening?” he slurs.

Markus squeezes Connor’s hand to reassure him. “I’m not sure, but don’t panic.”

The second person comes around to Markus’ window. Markus winds the window down just enough to hear them speak. “What’s your name?”

“Markus. This is Connor.”

“I’m Luther, and over there is Kara. Are you two okay?”

Connor groans, shielding his eyes from the lights with one hand as Markus replies. “No, we’re not. We just ran out of fuel, and Connor is...” he glances at Connor for a moment. He’s barely holding on as it is; it’s probably better just to come out with it. “He’s bitten.”

“I thought so,” Kara says, lowering her flashlight so she’s not shining it directly into Connor’s eyes. “How long?”

Markus frowns. “A few days, I think. Connor, how are you feeling?”

Connor shakes his head and presses his fingers into Markus’ palm. “...Foggy. And cold. I th-think I’ve gotta fever.”

“Still hungry?”

“Yes.”

“This might sound weird, but our voices aren’t making you hungrier, right?” Luther asks.

Connor shakes his head again. “That’s a fair question. I don’t think so.”

Kara sighs in relief. “There’s still time. Luther, how much fuel did we get?”

It takes that comment for Markus to realize there’s a canister in Luther’s hand. Where did that come from? Why are these people walking around with gasoline in the middle of the night?

“Enough to get this car moving far, I’d say. Markus? Is there anything wrong with your car aside from the fuel?”

Markus has no idea. This isn’t his car. “Connor?”

“Should be fine.”

Kara lowers her light for a moment. “Holy crap. Okay, I’ll be upfront; we’re with a group. We’re looking for cars and supplies. We have food and medicine; if you let us use your car...” Her sentence hangs there, unfinished.

On one hand, what she’s saying sounds too good to be true. There’s nothing out here; what are the odds that they’d find a group with supplies they need? Enough to treat someone with a literal zombie bite? What would stop these people from killing them both and taking their car? If they do try that, they don’t know there’s a pistol in the glovebox...

On the other hand...Connor is dying before their eyes, and Markus isn’t sure he could live with himself if he let that happen. Maybe it’s just that survivor thing, but there’s something special about Connor. And that something is too important to lose.

They’ve already lost everything else, anyway.

Markus unstraps his seatbelt and cracks the car door open. “Alright. Take us there.”

-

Markus isn’t sure when it happened, but the view from on top of the farmhouse has become familiar to him. He sits alone in an old camping chair, a hunting rifle in his lap. The ground is wet with sleet, and the air is beginning to chill. It’s a windy day, the kind that makes the sky turn silver, yet Markus barely feels the breeze.

It’s hard to think that, even with the world at large in chaos, the seasons change without paying mind to any of it. At least the mud and snow make it harder for zombies to run at the shelter.

Markus hears something nearby groan at him, and fumbles to pick up the rifle, only to stop as he gets his bearings.

“Connor, get down from there! Your stomach--”

“Hello to you, too,” Connor snarks. He lowers himself out of the tree and onto the rooftop before making his way towards Markus. He begins to sit down, but Markus gets out of his chair instead.

“Here. Don’t strain yourself,” Markus insists.

Connor takes the invitation and sits in the camp chair. He still grimaces at the strain on his stomach wound, but doesn’t cry out. Markus sits down directly on the roof and sets the rifle down beside him.

“Got bored of the greenhouse?”

Connor smiles. “No, not really. Rupert keeps gushing about the view from up here, and my curiosity finally got the better of me.”

“They say curiosity killed the cat.”

“But satisfaction brought it back. And I have to be honest, it’s not a bad view,” Connor admits. One of his hands comes down and cards through Markus’ hair. For his own safety, he should get it cut soon, but it’s hard to find scissors out here. “It also helps that my favorite person is up here at the moment,” Connor finishes.

Markus feels his cheeks redden, but he laughs. “And who would that be?”

Even without looking directly at Connor, the smirk in his voice is audible. “You might not know him. He’s handsome, really into swing music, and so compassionate that everyone’s probably a little bit in love with him.”

Affection blooms in Markus’ chest and suffocates him for a split second. He pulls Connor’s hand out of his hair to lace their fingers together. He knows there’s a stupid, wide grin on his face as he says, “That’s a little gay.”

Connor gasps in mock offense. “Excuse you, I’m a big gay.”

Markus laughs out loud, which spurs Connor into doing the same. “Dork.”

Once their laughter peters out, Connor frees his hand in favor of playing with Markus’ hair again. They’ve spent a lot of time together without speaking, during aimless road trips and suspenseful recovery periods, but this silence is nothing if not companionable. It feels like they’re alone with the world, and for once, that thought doesn’t bother Markus.

“How’s your stomach?” he asks after a while.

Connor hums, his hand pausing its movements for a moment. “I mean, considering I was on Death’s door, like, a month ago, I’d say it’s much better.”

“You seem more active these days.”

“I've been meaning to ask Rose about joining the patrol roster or something, now that I’m feeling more like myself.”

Markus turns his head up to look straight at Connor. “That’s a good idea. It’ll get you moving around more, at least. Promise you’ll be careful if you do, though?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Markus smiles warmly and props his chin up on the chair’s armrest.

Their privacy is interrupted when they hear the door open below them. Adam steps out and cranes his neck up to see them, cupping his hands over his mouth in lieu of shouting.

“Connor, what’re you doing up there?”

Like a kid who’s been caught misbehaving, Connor frees his hand from Markus’ hair. “Taking in the scenery,” he says half-truthfully.

“Any chance you could do that later? We need extra hands in the kitchen.”

Markus raises his eyebrows. “You’re asking a guy who’s managed to set water on fire?”

“I was nineteen,” Connor pouts.

Adam rolls his eyes. “We’re not asking him to cook. We’re resetting traps.”

“You could’ve led with that,” Connor says.

“Is that a yes?”

“Yeah, I’ll be down in a minute.”

Seemingly satisfied with that answer, Adam heads back inside. Connor stands up with a sigh. “I should let you get back to guard duty, anyway.”

“I guess so.” Markus picks up his rifle and stands up. “One second.”

He puts a hand on the back of Connor’s neck and pulls him in for a soft, lingering kiss. He wants nothing more than to taste Connor properly, but until they know for certain he’s no longer infected, it isn’t worth the risk. Well, it is to Markus. Just not to anyone else.

When they part, Connor looks at him with such warmth that it nearly hurts. Markus cups Connor’s cheek. “See you later.”

He sits down in the chair once again as Connor begins climbing down the tree. Once again, he’s alone.

But maybe that’s not so bad.

[traciedemars]

Upcoming Free (& non-promotional) Home Buyer Classes: Home Showings 101...home buyer & seller education ​www.traciedemars.com Saturday, February 8th, from 9am-12pm (ish)       Marshall Community Center, conference room       1009 E. McLoughlin Blvd, Vancouver WA (kitty corner from Clark College) Tuesday, February 11th, from 5pm - 8pm (ish)        Marshall Community Center, Conference room       1009 E McLoughlin Blvd, Vancouver WA (kitty corner from Clark College) Saturday, February 22nd, from 12pm-3pm (ish) ​       Vancouver YMCA, conference room      11324 NE 51st Circle, Vancouver WA (corner of SR500 & Gher Road/112th Ave).                                                                                     If these class dates and/or times don't work for you, please let us know.  We understand that you have lives, and families, and work.  We will work something out that works better with your schedule.  Just let us know....                                                                                   ....we also have home seller classes available too...look for link on top of website                   Happy February!   Finally....January is over...not that it was the longest month ever, or anything like that...  The beginning of the year is a good time to sell your home (if you've been thinking about it), and it's a time where a lot of folks who have been thinking about buying a home start the pre-approval process.  This months blog is going to address something that is important for both sellers, and buyers....showing homes.  Let's talk about this...the funnest, and the scariest part... As we've talked about in the past, there's a process to buying (and even selling) a home.... first,  you take a home buyer (or home seller) class, second, you move on to getting pre-approved.  Yes, even if you are selling a home, you want to get pre-approved before you go looking for your next home.  For a seller (who is going to be a homebuyer when their home sells) part of the information you will be giving to your lender is the guesstimated amount that you'll receive from the sale of your current home...your Realtor will help with this.  When you are buying a home, your Realtor is here to help you with your home adventure, and while yes, this is kind of scary...it is a lot of fun.  Whether this is your first home, or your 3rd, or 5th, or whatever...with a pre-approval & your Realtor,  you are ready for the 'fun' part.....LOOKING AT HOMES!  :-)  This is always an exciting time for buyers, and it should be!  Every home you pull up to has the possibility to be 'the one'....The one you make an offer on, the one that you buy, the ONE that becomes YOUR HOME...and it is very exciting, and yes, kind of scary too.  For the sellers though, it is very stressful because currently this IS their home, and they're leaving so that strangers can come in.  As a Realtor, we are trying to make this as easy as possible for both the buyer and seller, but we need help... From the homeowners (sellers), we are asking that the home be available to show, that the home be clean, nothing of value is being left out, all medicines are put away and out of sight (not left in bathrooms or kitchen cabinets), anything that a seller wants excluded from the sale is noted, that sweet pups are either removed or kenneled, that sweet kitties are noted as inside only or inside/outside ok, and that please, please... homeowners (sellers) be gone for showings.  Before you go on the market, talk to your Realtor about HOW the showings will work with your home.  Some folks are cool with a few hours notice, some need more time.  Most of my clients need a bit more time for showings.  If you have kids and/or pets, it's ok to ask for 24 hour notice.  That way you have time to prepare your home to be seen in its best possible condition.  You are still living in your home, and the buyers and buyers Realtor will (or should) respect that.  A lockbox will be put on your home, and during a showing the buyers agent will access the box for the key.  An email and/or a text will be sent to the sellers Realtor to let them know that a Realtor with XYZ company has accessed the home, and for how long we were there.  Before a seller puts their home on the market there is preparation, and usually some 'honey-do's' that need to be done.  As always, there is more to it than this, but that is a different class....and email.  You can always call me for more information when you are selling your home. From the buyers....it gets a bit more complicated...  before we go house shopping, we are asking that you have a pre-approval letter with a solid lender, we are asking that you do not look at homes above your price range, we are asking that you have thought about the Top Three things you want in a home (so we can show you homes that have those items you value most), and that you help us help you....      When a Realtor opens the lockbox to show you the home, we are taking responsibility for everything that happens from that moment on....until we lock up the house and put the key back into the lockbox.  As I say all the time...  Real Estate is NOT like HGTV...  you don't just get to wander the home while your Realtor sits outside...  we must be with you at all times when touring your potential new home.  Sometimes this can be like herding cats, but we understand your excitement...  just please, please as you are touring the home, and we know you have your family with you, please...we must all stay together.  Don't make me sing to you here.....    As cool as those toys look, I'm sorry but the kiddos can't play with them, and sorry...but you can't jump on the beds either.  It's ok to open cupboards, and closets, but we can't open dressers, or go through someone else's personal items.  Touring a home is a VISUAL thing....sorry.  Yes, you can use the bathroom.    When it's wet out (and lately it's been VERY wet), it's always a good take off our shoes before we enter someone else's home so be sure to wear easy on & off shoes, or use shoe booties.    When we are looking at homes, often we have more than one home to look at, and many homes are owner occupied so your Realtor makes appointments.  We do the best we can to make sure we have enough time to look at the homes, but we need to stay within our timeframes as the sellers are waiting to come home after we leave, or there are other Realtors waiting to show the home.  I promise we are not trying to 'rush' you through the home...we are just trying to stay within the timeframes so that you can see the other homes on your list.    With the real estate market starting to pick up for spring, it's important that if a home comes up that you like, you need to let your Realtor know as soon as possible so we can make an appointment for you to see it.  Your Realtor should be sending you a list of homes as they come on the market for you to check....drive by the homes...check out those neighborhoods....and let's make an appointment to go see the inside of the home.    Do not trust Internet photos!  Realtors hire professional photographers for our listings for a reason.  :-)  Internet photos are a lot like internet dating...you don't know what you're going to get when you get there      Like the neighborhood, but not sure about the house?  Let's at least go check out the inside!  You never know as you can't judge a book (or a house) by its cover.    ASK QUESTIONS!!  For heavens sake...this is a home you are thinking about buying...  ask questions!  As your Realtor, we are here to help!  If we can't answer your questions, we can at least set up in the right direction to get those answers. Buying a home is a very emotional experience.  Your Realtor is here to point out pros/cons, and to help you.... Trust your heart, but use your head...  or your Realtor.  :-)  Remember that we work FOR you.  Once you find THE home it's time to talk about making an offer, and those pesky timelines that you need to know, and that we need to abide by.  So, let's talk about that....next month!   Thank you, as always, for reading this. I hope this helps you this week!  Please, if you have any questions, please feel free to call, email, text, or even facebook me anytime.  I am always here to help!   Information is power, and I hope that I am help you!  Good luck, and as always...May the odds be ever in your favor out there....  If you are looking for a real estate agent, I would love to be able to help you. I hope that explains this a bit, but if you have any questions, or comments please call or email me anytime!  Please remember that while I mean these emails/blogs to be helpful, and educational, I am still hoping that you will call, or email me.  I would love to help you with your home buying, or home selling adventure!  :-)    As always....this is just a quick overview.... again...and I can't say this enough...please remember that your agent is NOT a salesperson, and should not be acting like one.  Real Estate is not really about houses, it is about relationships.  Your agent, and your lender work for YOU.  You drive the bus...we are merely GPS to help you get to your goals.  Like the classes, this weekly blog email is to help you with your home adventure.  The goal is to be informative and non-promotional.  :-)  We are, however, hoping you will call and want us to help with your adventure.   Thank you again for your business and your referrals!!  ...and thank you for referring these classes to your friends, family, and co-workers. ....disclaimer...if you have already purchased a home, or would no longer like to receive these emails, please let me know and I will be happy to remove you from any further mailings... Upcoming Topics: How long is the home buying process... aka....when do I GET Keys? Last Month:  New Year...New Home?  Maybe?  Where to Start? Have a great day, and I will talk to you soon,   ;-D   Tracie DeMars   Real Estate broker     Re/Max - Van Mall   360/ 903-3504 cell   360/ 882-3600 fax   www.traciedemars.com   traciedemars@aol.com       “Interested in free and non promotional home education classes?  Go to www.freehomebuyerclasses.com for local upcoming home buyer and home SELLER classes, or facebook: Tracie DeMars Real Estate for my home buyer education blog.” "Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be."       - Shel Silverstein, American poet, cartoonist and composer, (1930 - 1999).

[traciedemars]

Looking at homes?  What Buyers need to know.  (home buyer & Seller education) Upcoming Free (& non-promotional) Home Buyer Classes: Saturday, June 10th, from 9am-12pm (ish)       Marshall Community Center, conference room       1009 E. McLoughlin Blvd, Vancouver WA (kitty corner from Clark College)

Monday, June 12th , from 5pm-8pm (ish)       Marshall Community Center, conference room       1009 E. McLoughlin Blvd, Vancouver WA (kitty corner from Clark College) Saturday, June 24th, from 11am-2pm (ish)        Vancouver YMCA, conference room        11324 NE 51st Circle, Vancouver WA (corner of SR500 & Gher Road/112th Ave) If these class dates and/or times don't work for you, please let us know.  We understand that you have lives, and families, and work.  We will work something out that works better with your schedule.  Just let us know....                                                                                   ....we also have home seller classes available too...link on left on website                   Remember...with reservation...we will throw in lunch, or dinner!  :-D                               ~~~~~~~~~

Happy sunny weather!!  

 It's that time again (and again!)...  CLIENT APPRECIATION EVENT time... Yay!!  :-D Saturday, June 17 from 3pm-6pm. Chris Berg & I would like to invite our clients to come watch a movie with us.  Didn't we just have one?  Well, yes...yes, we did and we had so much fun that we want to do it again!   Which one now? Well, it involves some Disney, a red car, a tow truck, some really good music, and really good friends along Route 66 .  Come join us for Cars 3!! This is just our small way of saying, "THANK YOU" for your continued support, friendship, and oh yes, referrals. We appreciate YOU so much. Come watch a movie with us!  There's always room for friends and family too.  :-) We do need rsvp's, and those can be made via Facebook or email to either Chris Berg (cberg@pcmloan.com) or Tracie DeMars (traciedemars@aol.com) for right now.  

We are always excited for the client appreciation events, and it's almost as exciting for us as getting someone's offer accepted on their dream home... or getting an offer signed around on the home they're selling.  I know people think that Real Estate is about houses, and while, yes...that is partly correct, it isn't completely correct.  :-D  Real Estate is more about the relationships we form with our clients, and assisting them with their goals.  

 As we've talked about, once you hire a Realtor to help you with your home adventure, you are ready for the 'fun' part.....LOOKING AT HOMES!  :-)  This is always an exciting time for buyers, and it should be!  Every home you pull up to has the possibility to be 'the one'....The one you make an offer on, the one that you buy, the ONE that becomes YOUR HOME...and it is very exciting.  For the sellers though, it is very stressful because currently it is THEIR home, and they're leaving so that strangers can come in.  As a Realtor, we are trying to make this as easy as possible for both the buyer and seller, but we need help...

From the homeowners (sellers), we are asking that the home be available to show, that the home be clean, nothing of value is being left out, all medicines are put away and out of sight (not left in bathrooms or kitchen cabinets), anything that a seller wants excluded from the sale is noted, that sweet pups are either removed or kenneled, that sweet kitties are noted as inside only or inside/outside ok, and that please, please... homeowners (sellers) be gone for showings.  As always, there is more to it than this, but that is a different class....and email.  You can always call me for more information when you are selling your home.   From the buyers....it gets a bit more complicated...  before we go house shopping, we are asking that you have a pre-approval letter with a solid lender, we are asking that you do not look at homes above your price range, we are asking that you have thought about the Top Three things you want in a home (so we can show you homes that have those items you value most), and that you help us help you....      When a Realtor opens the lockbox to show you the home, we are taking responsibility for everything that happens from that moment on....until we lock up the house and put the key back into the lockbox.  As I say all the time...  Real Estate is NOT like HGTV...  you don't just get to wander the home while your Realtor sits outside...  we must be with you at all times when touring your potential new home.  Sometimes this can be like herding cats, but we understand your excitement...  just please, please as you are touring the home, and we know you have your family with you, please...we must all stay together.  Don't make me sing to you here.....    As cool as those toys look, I'm sorry but the kiddos can't play with them, and sorry...but you can't jump on the beds either.  It's ok to open cupboards, and closets, but we can't open dressers, or go through someone else's personal items.  Touring a home is a VISUAL thing....sorry.  Yes, you can use the bathroom.      When it's wet out (and frankly lately it's been more wet than not), it's always a good take off our shoes before we enter someone else's home so be sure to wear easy on & off shoes.    When we are looking at homes, often we have more than one home to look at, and many homes are owner occupied so your Realtor makes appointments.  We do the best we can to make sure we have enough time to look at the homes, but we need to stay within our timeframes as the sellers are waiting to come home after we leave, or there are other Realtors waiting to show the home.  I promise we are not trying to 'rush' you through the home...we are just trying to stay within the timeframes so that you can see the other homes on your list.      Looking at homes is exciting, and many of you will send your Realtor a long list of homes to go see, but what you don't know.....yet...that looking at homes is exhausting, and they quickly starts to blend together.  Don't look at more than 6-8 in one appointment.  I've had clients look at up to 10 at once, and that is a lot. We can do it....just be prepared.  Your Realtor should give you a print out for each home we see, so be sure to take notes on each of the houses because they will blend together and you will not remember what you liked, or didn't like, about the first couple of homes by the time we get to the last couple of homes.  :-)      With the real estate market being so crazy right now, it's important that if a home comes up that you like, that you let your Realtor know as soon as possible so we can make an appointment for you to see it.  Your Realtor should be sending you a list of homes as they come on the market for you to check....drive by the homes...check out those neighborhoods....and let's make an appointment to go see the inside of the home.    Do not trust Internet photos!  Realtors hire professional photographers for our listings for a reason.  :-)  Internet photos are a lot like internet dating...you don't know what you're going to get when you get there      Like the neighborhood, but not sure about the house?  Let's at least go check out the inside!  You never know as you can't judge a book (or a house) by its cover.      ASK QUESTIONS!!  For heavens sake...this is a home you are thinking about buying...  ask questions!  As your Realtor, we are here to help!  If we can't answer your questions, we can at least set up in the right direction to get those answers.   Buying a home is a very emotional experience.  Your Realtor is here to point out pros/cons, and to help you.... Trust your heart, but use your head...  or your Realtor.  :-)  Remember that we work FOR you.

Thank you, as always, for reading this. Now, as we enjoy the holiday with our family....let's take a moment to remember WHY we have this holiday....to remember our brave men and women who fought, and died, so that we can enjoy our time with our families.  Memorial Day isn't just about BBQ's, fun, and family...  it's about those who have made the ultimate sacrifice.  We Remember....

I hope this helps you this week!  Please, if you have any questions, please feel free to call, email, text, or even facebook me anytime.  I am always here to help!  

Information is power, and I hope that I am help you!  Good luck, and as always...May the odds be ever in your favor out there....  If you are looking for a real estate agent, I would love to be able to help you. I hope that explains this a bit, but if you have any questions, or comments please call or email me anytime!  Please remember that while I mean these emails/blogs to be helpful, and educational, I am still hoping that you will call, or email me.  I would love to help you with your home buying, or home selling adventure!  :-)

   As always....this is just a quick overview.... again...and I can't say this enough...please remember that your agent is NOT a salesperson, and should not be acting like one.  Real Estate is not really about houses, it is about relationships.  Your agent, and your lender work for YOU.  You drive the bus...we are merely GPS to help you get to your goals.  Like the classes, this weekly blog email is to help you with your home adventure.  The goal is to be informative and non-promotional.  :-)  We are, however, hoping you will call and want us to help with your adventure.   Thank you again for your business and your referrals!!  ...and thank you for referring these classes to your friends, family, and co-workers. ....disclaimer...if you have already purchased a home, or would no longer like to receive these emails, please let me know and I will be happy to remove you from any further mailings... Upcoming Topics: Hiring a Realtor...questions to ask, What if I don't have a Down Payment? .....  &.... What does an Agent do for me?

Last Week:  Buyers Due Diligence...what you need to know

Have a great day, and I will talk to you soon,   ;-D   Tracie DeMars   Real Estate broker     Re/Max - Van Mall   360/ 903-3504 cell   360/ 882-3600 fax   www.traciedemars.com   traciedemars@aol.com       “Interested in free and non promotional home education classes?  Go to www.freehomebuyerclasses.com for local upcoming home buyer and home SELLER classes, or facebook: Tracie DeMars Real Estate for my home buyer education blog.”

"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be."       - Shel Silverstein, American poet, cartoonist and composer, (1930 - 1999).

[traciedemars]

Seeing homes... what buyers & sellers ‘should’ know...   Upcoming Free (& non-promotional) Home Buyer Classes:

Saturday, June 16th , from 9m-12pm (ish)        Vancouver YMCA, conference room        11324 NE 51st Circle, Vancouver WA (corner of SR500 & Gher Road/112th Ave) Tuesday, June 19th, from 5m-8pm (ish)         Marshall Community Ceneter, conference room         1009 E McLoughlin Blvd, Vancouver WA (kitty corner from Clark College)

If these class dates and/or times don't work for you, please let us know.  We understand that you have lives, and families, and work.  We will work something out that works better with your schedule.  Just let us know....                                                                                  

....we also have home seller classes available too...link on left on website

                   Remember...with reservation...we will throw in lunch, or dinner!  :-D                                 ~~~~~~~~~

Happy sunny weather!! 

  It's that time again (and again!)...  CLIENT APPRECIATION EVENT time... Yay!!  :-D Saturday, June 16 from 3pm-6pm.  

Chris Berg

& I would like to invite our clients to come watch a movie with us.  Didn't we just have one?  Well, yes...yes, we did and we had so much fun that we want to do it again! 

 Which one now?  Well, it involves some Disney, NO CAPES, a family, and a very long wait!  

Come join us for The Incredibles 2!!

This is just our small way of saying, "THANK YOU" for your continued support, friendship, and oh yes, referrals.  We appreciate YOU so much.  Come watch a movie with us!  There's always room for friends and family too.  :-) We do need rsvp's, and those can be made via Facebook or email to either Chris Berg (

cberg@pcmloan.com

) or Tracie DeMars (

traciedemars@aol.com

) for right now.  

We are always excited for the client appreciation events, and it's almost as exciting for us as getting someone's offer accepted on their dream home... or getting an offer signed around on the home they're selling.  I know people think that Real Estate is about houses, and while, yes...that is partly correct, it isn't completely correct.  :-D  Real Estate is more about the relationships we form with our clients, and assisting them with their goals. 

  As we've talked about, once you hire a Realtor to help you with your home adventure, you are ready for the 'fun' part.....LOOKING AT HOMES!  :-)  This is always an exciting time for buyers, and it should be!  Every home you pull up to has the possibility to be 'the one'....The one you make an offer on, the one that you buy, the ONE that becomes YOUR HOME...and it is very exciting.  For the sellers though, it is very stressful because currently it is THEIR home, and they're leaving so that strangers can come in.  As a Realtor, we are trying to make this as easy as possible for both the buyer and seller, but we need help...

From the homeowners (sellers), we are asking that the home be available to show, that the home be clean, nothing of value is being left out, all medicines are put away and out of sight (not left in bathrooms or kitchen cabinets), anything that a seller wants excluded from the sale is noted, that sweet pups are either removed or kenneled, that sweet kitties are noted as inside only or inside/outside ok, and that please, please... homeowners (sellers) be gone for showings.  As always, there is more to it than this, but that is a different class....and email.  You can always call me for more information when you are selling your home.    From the buyers....it gets a bit more complicated...  before we go house shopping, we are asking that you have a pre-approval letter with a solid lender, we are asking that you do not look at homes above your price range, we are asking that you have thought about the Top Three things you want in a home (so we can show you homes that have those items you value most), and that you help us help you....       When a Realtor opens the lockbox to show you the home, we are taking responsibility for everything that happens from that moment on....until we lock up the house and put the key back into the lockbox.  As I say all the time...  Real Estate is NOT like HGTV...  you don't just get to wander the home while your Realtor sits outside...  we must be with you at all times when touring your potential new home.  Sometimes this can be like herding cats, but we understand your excitement...  just please, please as you are touring the home, and we know you have your family with you, please...we must all stay together.  Don't make me sing to you here.....     As cool as those toys look, I'm sorry but the kiddos can't play with them, and sorry...but you can't jump on the beds either.  It's ok to open cupboards, and closets, but we can't open dressers, or go through someone else's personal items.  Touring a home is a VISUAL thing....sorry.  Yes, you can use the bathroom. 

    When it's wet out (which it hasn't been lately), it's always a good take off our shoes before we enter someone else's home so be sure to wear easy on & off shoes.

    When we are looking at homes, often we have more than one home to look at, and many homes are owner occupied so your Realtor makes appointments.  We do the best we can to make sure we have enough time to look at the homes, but we need to stay within our timeframes as the sellers are waiting to come home after we leave, or there are other Realtors waiting to show the home.  I promise we are not trying to 'rush' you through the home...we are just trying to stay within the timeframes so that you can see the other homes on your list. 

    With the real estate market being so crazy right now, it's important that if a home comes up that you like, that you let your Realtor know as soon as possible so we can make an appointment for you to see it.  Your Realtor should be sending you a list of homes as they come on the market for you to check....drive by the homes...check out those neighborhoods....and let's make an appointment to go see the inside of the home.     Do not trust Internet photos!  Realtors hire professional photographers for our listings for a reason.  :-)  Internet photos are a lot like internet dating...you don't know what you're going to get when you get there  

    Like the neighborhood, but not sure about the house?  Let's at least go check out the inside!  You never know as you can't judge a book (or a house) by its cover.      ASK QUESTIONS!!  For heavens sake...this is a home you are thinking about buying...  ask questions!  As your Realtor, we are here to help!  If we can't answer your questions, we can at least set up in the right direction to get those answers.  Buying a home is a very emotional experience.  Your Realtor is here to point out pros/cons, and to help you.... Trust your heart, but use your head...  or your Realtor.  :-)  Remember that we work FOR you.

Thank you, as always, for reading this. Now, Memorial Day just passed, and as nice as it was to spend the day with our family....let's take a moment to remember WHY we have this holiday....to remember our brave men and women who fought, and died, so that we can enjoy our time with our families.  Memorial Day isn't just about BBQ's, fun, and family...  it's about those who have made the ultimate sacrifice.  We Remember....

I hope this helps you this week!  Please, if you have any questions, please feel free to call, email, text, or even facebook me anytime.  I am always here to help!   

Information is power, and I hope that I am help you!  Good luck, and as always...May the odds be ever in your favor out there....  If you are looking for a real estate agent, I would love to be able to help you.   I hope that explains this a bit, but if you have any questions, or comments please call or email me anytime!  Please remember that while I mean these emails/blogs to be helpful, and educational, I am still hoping that you will call, or email me.  I would love to help you with your home buying, or home selling adventure!  :-)

    As always....this is just a quick overview.... again...and I can't say this enough...please remember that your agent is NOT a salesperson, and should not be acting like one.  Real Estate is not really about houses, it is about relationships.  Your agent, and your lender work for YOU.  You drive the bus...we are merely GPS to help you get to your goals.  Like the classes, this weekly blog email is to help you with your home adventure.  The goal is to be informative and non-promotional.  :-)  We are, however, hoping you will call and want us to help with your adventure.     Thank you again for your business and your referrals!!  ...and thank you for referring these classes to your friends, family, and co-workers.     ....disclaimer...if you have already purchased a home, or would no longer like to receive these emails, please let me know and I will be happy to remove you from any further mailings...      Upcoming Topics: Credit 101.... part 2 (with information about credit class)

Hiring a Realtor...questions to ask,

Buyers Due Diligence ...what you need to know  &....

What does an Agent do for me?

Last Week:  Loans & Down Payment Information

Have a great day, and I will talk to you soon,   

;-D   

Tracie DeMars   

Real Estate broker 

Re/Max - Van Mall   

360/ 903-3504 cell   

360/ 882-3600 fax   

www.traciedemars.com

traciedemars@aol.com

“Interested in free and non promotional home education classes?  Go to www.freehomebuyerclasses.com for local upcoming home buyer and home SELLER classes, or facebook: Tracie DeMars Real Estate for my home buyer education blog.”

"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be."    

   - Shel Silverstein, American poet, cartoonist and composer, (1930 - 1999).